#tony stark is peter’s dad

[incorrectcompoundnotes]

Peter, coming in after school, holding a squirrel: I found a squirrel!

Tony: Found…or stole from the park where it lives?

Peter: …stole from the park where it lives, Mr Stark.

Tony: What have I told you about stealing squirrels?

Peter: To not be seen doing it?

Tony: …

Peter, pouting: Oh wait that was Clint. To not steal squirrels from their friends and families. I’ll go take Dave back.

Tony: YOU NAMED IT?! (Making disappointed dad noises)

[wynnd-citrus]

Tony and his PPs (forgot to post this one too)

[itscrazycasey]

Peter: TONY TONY TONY TONY

Tony: No, you cannot borrow my iron man suit for high school hero day.

Peter: NO THAT ISN’T IT!

Tony, turning around: What is it t- is that a knife?

Peter, gesturing at the knife in his side: YEAH! I got stabbed!

Tony, panicking: WELL WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU AT THE HOSPITAL-

Peter: Because! I wanted to show you! It’s my first stabbing!

Tony: YOU SHOULD NOT BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS!

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[abi7100]

Peter, over the phone: Mr. Stark

Tony: yeah?

Peter: hypothetically-

Tony: I'm on my way

[irondad3000]

Peter: fucking trains.

Bucky: finally! someone understands!

Tony:…you both need therapy.

[at1r1-p4rk3r]

Peter; at school and just got in trouble: I swear I'm innocent!

Principal; not amused: That's it. Your aunt passed? I'm calling your parents.

Peter: Haha, good luck with that!

Principal: What?

Peter: My parents are DEAD! *unhinged laughter*

Principal: but I have their phone numbers....

[mcu-fandom]

I find it so funny that in Homecoming, Tony was all like “my father didn’t give me a lot of support so I’m trying to break the cycle and be supportive of you”

Had all his suit features be called “baby monitor” and “training wheels”

Used his angry dad voice when he said “this is where you zip it, the adult is talking” and “because I said so >:(“ when Peter talked back and was like “teenagers 🙄” to the woman handing out leis.

Then told Peter that if he got hurt in anyway, Tony would feel like he was responsible for that…

Like that guy never even hanged out with that kid one on one yet by that point and was already like “you’re my son now and I’m gonna support you and look out for you.”

[stxar-pvnk]

(bio father Tony + mother Pepper)

Baby Pete struggling to say words

Peter: Ma...

Pepper: he's going to say mama!

Tony: oh no he's not. Petey pie, say da-da.

Peter: Da...

Pepper and Tony just beaming in excitement

Peter: ...Beryllium!

Pepper: ...

Tony: ...

Pepper: was our kids first words an element on the periodic table, Anthony.

Tony: ...my bad.

[spideyson-stuff]

HeadCannon of Peter being a sick child

Not in the sense of "Peter is sick and Tony has to take care of him", NO!

It's the kind of "I've had migraines for so long I don't even care about the pain anymore" or "I get colds so many times in the week that I don't know how is the feeling of DON'T HAVE a runny nose"

So Tony go ask him one day like

Tony: Pete, your nose is bleeding!? ARE YOU OKAY!?

And Peter takes a set of wet wipes from his bag calmly wiping his nose saying

Peter: Oh yeah, it happens sometimes, so about the design of the new Falcon wings...

AND HE DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE AFTER!?

Tony is already pulling his hair out wondering why Peter suddenly passes out sometimes and Peter goes like

Peter: Oh yeah, about that, I have anemia and low blood pressure, sometimes my blood sugar drops and my blood pressure drops and then I passes out, nothing to worry about 😊

Tony's heart almost stops and he's already like "god I need to put this kid in a bubble to protect him..."

One day Tony turns to Peter and asks if he wants something to eat or drink and Peter says

Peter: Ohhhhh, THAT'S why my vision is blurry the whole afternoon, hahaha

Tony:... uh?

Peter: I forgot to eat

Tony: WHAT!? IT'S 12:45 PM!? YOU HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING ALL DAY!?

Peter: Yep, ops haha, I'm gonna drink a glass of water

Tony: THIS IS NOT EVEN NEARLY ENOUGH!?!?!? I'M ORDERING 3 PIZZAS AND YOU'RE EATING THEM!!!!

Peter: But I'm not hungry...

Tony: !?!?!?!? HOW!?

Since then, Tony forces Peter to eat something every time they meet, Peter thinks this is excessive, Tony thinks that if he doesn't do this Peter will die-

[incorrectcompoundnotes]

Peter: Mr Stark, you look exhausted. When did you last sleep?

Tony: What day is it?

Peter: Monday

Tony: 6.

Peter: 6? 6 what?

Peter, watching Tony walk away: 6 WHAT?!

[wynnd-citrus]

Italian dad forehead kisses hehehehehe I love them

THIS IS NOT ST@RKER ‼️‼️‼️ ST@RKERS DNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED WITHOUT HESITATION 🤮

[spidey-017]

Peter: *almost dies*

Tony: jeez kid, did Rogers teach you your self-preservation skills or something?

Peter: no, my parents did

Tony: kid-

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW

[abi7100]

Peter, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got hit by a train.

Tony, coughing on his coffee: Excuse me?

[movienerd22]

Tony: hey good job on the mission kid

Peter: thanks dad

Tony:

Peter:

Clint: (in the vents holding his laughter in)

Peter: I got to go… uh home, yeah home