#tonight is really bad i’m feeling really low and i am so alone

[bunniexmae]

the only thing that’s keeping me from hurting myself right now is staring at my dog

[c-e-d-dreamer]

Just Looking At You Got Me Thinking Nonsense

A/N: happy Day Four of @nestaarcheronweek! Sometimes, to really be a lover, you have to risk it all in a bidding war, ya know? This was a fun little fic to write, and I want to give a big ole shout-out to the Anon who sent me this prompt! I hope everyone enjoys :)

Read on AO3

Cassian digs his phone out of his back pocket, opening back up the group chat and the most recent messages still waiting there. With a nod, he pockets the phone again, rolling out his shoulders. There’s a glass case full of pictures and some sort of awards on the wall opposite him, and Cassian uses it as a makeshift mirror. He’s always had a bad habit of running his fingers through his hair when he’s nervous, and now his curls are a tangled mess as a result.

A door opening down the hall has Cassian almost jumping out of his skin. He turns just in time to see the exact woman he’s here for walking down the hall, her arm looped with a red head that Cassian is pretty sure was in his trig class last year.

“Trust me, it will be over before you know it,” the red head says as they walk.

“Until I have to sit through some stupid dinner after… You’re lucky that I love you.”

“I know, and I am lucky you’re doing this with me. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to go up there alone.”

“Hey, Nes,” Cassian calls in greeting when they’re close enough, raising his hand in a wave.

Whether she doesn’t hear him or is just ignoring him, Cassian isn’t sure. But both women don’t acknowledge him, walking through another door further down the hall. One that, he presumes, leads into the large hall.

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” Cassian mumbles to himself, letting his hand drop back to his side. “Idiot.”

“Idiot is certainly one word I’d use to describe you.”

Azriel’s low chuckle echoes Rhys’s remark, and Cassian turns to glare at both his brothers. He knocks his shoulders against both of them, leading the way back toward the front of the building and the main doors into the hall. There’s more laughter, but at least his brothers fall into step behind him. He doesn’t have time for their teasing. Not tonight at least. This is his one chance, and he’ll be damned if he fucks it up, if he loses it. He needs to focus.

Cassian knew that Nesta Archeron was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen the first time he saw her walk into his gen-ed English lecture earlier this semester. Her blue gray eyes had been piercing beneath the lights of the lecture hall, and Cassian wanted to dive into them and drown in them right in that moment. Even more so when he watched her roll those eyes at something said at the front of the lecture hall.

Gods, he wanted to make those eyes roll.

He was sure that the Mother must be smiling down on him when Nesta had ended up in his seminar after the lecture too. It was clear that she was smart. That she had a passion for books. That she didn’t take any bullshit. He could sit and watch and listen to her in that seminar for the rest of his life and be happy. And when she absolutely eviscerated Tamlin for his “analysis” of Lolita, Cassian had been ready to drop to his knees right then and there.

It made him try harder. He made sure he actually paid attention in the lecture, made sure he did the readings, made sure he came to each and every seminar with his analysis prepared in hopes of impressing her. He wasn't sure it was working or not, but sometimes, he swore he saw her lips twitch with the barest hint of a smile, of a smirk, when he spoke. He swore that sometimes he could feel her gaze on him when he wasn't looking.

And then, one day, he’d walked into the seminar room to find the seat next to Nesta open. He’d practically stumbled over his own feet in his rush to slide into that open seat, earning an amused head shake from Kallias. Using the few minutes before the seminar started, Cassian had called her Nes and gotten a withering glare in response. He was sure the look was meant to cut him down where he sat, but it only stoked the embers in his chest into a full wildfire, only made him grin wider.

It became a game after that. Every seminar, he’d take the seat beside Nesta, and every seminar, he’d spark a back and forth between them. He cataloged every look, every response he was able to draw out of Nesta. Every eye roll. Every derisive snort. Every sarcastic quip. He got drunk off it all and kept coming back for more and more. And when he made Nesta blush, the pretty pink spreading across her cheeks, he knew that was it for him.

He spent the whole rest of the week after that trying to figure out the best way to ask Nesta out, sure that she wouldn’t appreciate being asked in front of their whole seminar group. He wondered if it would be weird to ask her to speak to him after the seminar, prayed to the Mother to take pity on him, and blessedly, take pity on him she did. It’s what led Cassian to finding out that Nesta was pledged to Mor’s sorority.

How he found out that she would be here tonight.

One of the sorority members greets Cassian and his brothers when they step through the doors to the hall, her name tag reading Deidre. She holds out three paddles, but Rhys and Azriel both wave her off, only Cassian taking one. Lucky number nineteen, just like his jersey. They settle into seats at an empty table, and then it’s just a waiting game.

It doesn’t take long before Mor is stepping out onto the stage, giving her welcoming speech as president, but any words she says fade away as soon as the women participating tonight walk onto the stage. As soon as Cassian catches sight of Nesta. Her dress is a silky, silvery blue that, along with the stage lights, brings out the blue of her eyes, and the hem is short enough to show off the stretch of her legs. She has that look on her face that’s Cassian’s favorite, and just the sight of her has his mouth going dry. She’s gorgeous.

“And next up we have Nesta Archeron.” Cassian’s attention snaps back to Mor. “She’s pre-law and minoring in English. She loves romance novels, so you better be ready to bring out all the stops if you’re the lucky one who gets to take her on a date. Now, we’ll start the bidding at–”

“One hundred dollars,” Cassian calls out before Mor can finish, jumping up to his feet and holding up his paddle.

“Mother save us,” Rhys mutters under his breath.

“Wow. That’s…” Mor clears her throat. “That’s quite generous. I guess we’ll be starting the bidding at one hundred.”

“One fifty.”

Anger flares low in Cassian’s gut at the second bid, and it burns even brighter when he turns his head and finds the owner of the voice. Eris Vanserra. Cassian has hated the man ever since he had the misfortune of sharing a class with him freshman year. Ever since he watched him stroll into a college class wearing designer clothes and look down on everyone. He’s pompous, pretentious, and has a face practically asking for Cassian to punch.

And punching Eris’s snooty face is definitely something Cassian’s fist itches to do right now.

“Two hundred,” Cassian declares, turning back toward the stage.

“Two fifty,” Eris echoes.

“Two seventy five.”

“Three hundred.”

“Holy shit,” Mor mutters before seemingly remembering that she has a microphone in her hands. “I mean wow. That’s officially our highest bid. Ever. Do we have a response?”

“Five. Hundred.”

Gasps and murmurs of surprise sweep through the room at Cassian’s announcement. He glances toward where Nesta still stands on stage, her eyes wide and pink settled high on her cheeks. But those wide eyes are pinned on him, not Eris, not Mor, and her attention has his heart stuttering between his ribs, has it tugging toward the stage as though she holds the thread so firmly wrapped around it.

He dares to toss Nesta a wink before turning to smirk at Eris, but Vanserra is still lounging casually in his seat with a sort of cool arrogance that ice starts to prickle beneath Cassian’s skin.

“Five fifty,” Eris declares, eyes cutting toward Cassian with a smirk of his own.

“Fucking prick,” Cassian mutters under his breath before he leans down to speak to Rhys. “Okay, I’m going to need to borrow more than what we originally agreed to.”

Rhys sighs, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “Seriously, Cass? This is getting a little absurd for a single date.”

“She’s worth it.”

“Is she? You know, I’ve heard stories, and–”

“Fuck you,” Cassian growls, turning back toward the stage before he runs out of time. “Five seventy five!”

“He’s clearly dedicated. You’ve got to give him that,” Azriel mutters with a low chuckle.

“You know Vanserra’s not going to stop, right?” Rhys adds, his tone almost bored.

As if in answer, Eris’s voice rings out again. “Six hundred.”

“Seven hundred,” Cassian calls out quickly before dropping his voice again. “If you’re so worried about your rich boy checkbook, then do something about it.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?”

“Seven fifty,” Eris’s voice drowns out Rhys’s question.

“Alright,” Azriel sighs, pushing up to his feet. “This is just sad to watch now.”

Cassian sighs as his brother walks away, knocking his fist against the table in frustration. “Eight fifty!”

He waits for Eris’s answering bid, but there’s only silence ringing out in the hall. Cassian’s brow pinches in confusion, and he snaps his attention back toward Eris’s table. The man in question is on his feet, standing toe to toe with Azriel. There’s a suspicious looking stain across Eris’s shirt, and his lips are pulled back in a sneer.

Whatever lashing Eris is giving for his now ruined designer shirt, Azriel takes it unfazed. He merely reaches for a napkin, the movement nothing short of sensual as he wipes it against Eris’s shirt, against his chest and down his stomach. Even from across the room Cassian can see the way Eris’s face has turned a color to match his face.

With Eris thoroughly distracted, Cassian looks back toward the stage, raising his eyebrows pointedly at Mor.

“Oh! Right,” Mor speaks into the microphone. “We have eight fifty. Do we have higher than eight fifty?” Cassian motions with his hand to hurry up. “Eight fifty going once. Going twice. Sold for eight fifty.”

Cassian falls back into his seat with a relieved sigh, unable to bite back the wide grin that pulls across his face. He did it, he was the highest bid. He gets to see Nesta outside of their lecture, outside of their seminar. He gets to spend time with her one on one and to find out what really makes her tick.

He gets to take Nesta Archeron on a date.

He’s practically bouncing on his feet waiting for the rest of the women to have their bidding, for the evening to come to a close. He all but jumps back up to his feet, plucking the check from between Rhys’s fingers. The look on Mor’s face is all too knowing when he hands over the money, but even that doesn’t deter him.

He gets to take Nesta Archeron on a date.

“Eight hundred fifty dollars, huh?”

Cassian spins around to come face to face with the exact woman in question, her arms crossed and her expression unimpressed. But Cassian has learned a lot sitting next to Nesta this semester, and he recognizes the light sparking in her blue eyes, the slight pinch at the corner of her lips. Try as she might, she can’t hide her amusement from him.

“What can I say, sweetheart?” Cassian drawls, grin still wide. “I’m quite dedicated to getting what I want.”

“Oh? Is that why you pulled that stunt with Eris?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was merely Azriel flirting.”

Nesta laughs, and it’s already Cassian’s favorite sound, a sound he wants to draw out of her again and again. “He flirts by spilling drinks on people?”

“Everyone has their own version of flirting. Look at us, with our back and forth.”

That comment does earn him an eye roll, Cassian’s blood singing and his heart soaring at the reaction. He dares to step even closer to Nesta, until he has to tip his chin down to keep smirking at her. Dares to reach up between them for a stray strand of Nesta’s hair and tug on it teasingly. Dares to tease the backs of his fingers along her now pinkening cheeks.

“You might actually be crazy, you know.”

“Only because you make me that way, Nes.”

—

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog @lifeisntafantasy @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld @lady-nestas @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @kookskoocie @wolfnesta @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @ofduskanddreams @rarephloxes @thelovelymadone @books-books-books4ever @tenaciousdiplomatloverprune @that-little-red-head @readergalaxy @thesnugglingduck @kale-theteaqueen @tarquindaddy @superflurry @bri-loves-sunflowers @lady-winter-sunrise @witch-and-her-witcher @fieldofdaisiies

[skzdreamer13]

Solace Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Savior Hyunjin Apocalypse AU. Pairing: Hyunjin x OC (Sarah)

Trigger Warning: Talks of suicide.

I used to love solitude. The quiet. The peace it brings. I could sit alone in silence forever. That's how I used to feel. But when the option to be surrounded by people and sound is completely removed, I now resent the solitude I once craved.

I can’t choose to find some fake excuse as to why I don’t want to go out for a drink with friends. No pretending I have better things to do, when in reality we all knew I didn’t.

I’ve never wished for company before. Not even to talk, just someone else's presence. Someone alive at least, someone conscious and understanding. I spent my whole life wishing to be alone, and now that I am, company doesn’t sound so bad at the end of the world.

The view on the bridge is beautiful, the sun low. It should be setting soon. I’ve been coming here everyday that I could for the last 8 months, after everything fell and the world went to shit. 

But I think I’m finally ready.

I slowly climb up on top of the railing, hugging the cold metal pillar as the wind blows lightly through my mousy brown hair, pushing it into my face. Looking down, the water used to be mostly clear, but has now turned this muddy brownish green color. I used to love this bridge, what a fitting place for me to go.

“So you’re just going to jump?” 

A voice. Not a grunt or a groan or growl from the creatures that have taken my loved ones and many others away from them. I don’t turn around. This can’t be real.

“I know the world has gone to shit but you shouldn’t do this.” The voice says. Gentle, understanding in his tone. I must really be losing it for my subconscious to make me hear things to go back on this decision.

I sway a bit with the wind, my grip lightening on the pillar. I hear a shuffle behind me on the pavement. I should do this before it’s too late.

“Please!” it’s breathy almost like a loud whisper. Like my subconscious knows not to yell, to refrain from grabbing the attention of anything that could be lurking on this bridge with me.

“Don’t do this.” He sounds as desperate as I feel. Might as well indulge myself.

“Why? What else is there to stick around for? A cure? Someone to come save me? No one is coming. So I’m gonna do myself a favor and take myself out of the equation before I get taken out by something else. I wanna still be me when I go.” I say it harshly, still not turning around. If there were people around I would worry about looking crazy. But there aren’t.

Then I feel it. Warmth. This is real. He climbs up onto the railing next to me, his arm behind me to grab onto the pillar I'm wrapped around, to steady himself. I finally look up.

He’s tall. Black hair, and brown eyes that shine like honey in the setting sun. and beauty mark under his left eye. 

“Well then I’m not letting you do this alone.” he shocks me to my core. He’s a stranger, and he’s gonna throw away his life on a whim? 

“No. You need to go, the sun is setting. Take my bag, there's food, water and other supplies.” if he was smart he’d leave, save himself. Once it’s dark out there's no telling how chaotic they’ll be tonight.

He shakes his head, black hair shaking with the movement, falling lightly into his eyes.

“You think I want to go through this either? This world? And alone at that?” He’s been alone too? I mean why am I surprised. If I've been alone all this time I’m sure others would be, I just kind of convinced myself there was no one left.

He continues to talk, “No thank you. So, if you insist on jumping, be my guest, but you’re gonna have some company. Or we can walk off this bridge and find some shelter for the night.” 

He startles me, his hand on my cheek wiping tears I didn’t know I had been shedding. His touch is gentle and warm, alive. I take a deep breath, looking into his eyes. I haven’t seen eyes like his in so long, eyes with life and fear and affection.

I nod and we carefully come down off of the railing. I pick up my bag, I had thrown it next to an abandoned car, and we start walking. It’s silent for a moment.

“Why?” I finally ask. He doesn’t turn to look at me.

“Why not?” He says it like he’s trying to make me laugh. Then sighs.

“I’ve been alone too. Maybe I did it because I’m selfish… Maybe I also did it because we can be alone together.”

We continue to walk in silence. It’s comfortable, like all this weight on my chest has been lifted off and I can breathe.

“I’m Hyunjin, by the way.”

Chapter 2

This is my first time writing on here and I hope you guys like it. I am going to start a tag list because I was asked to so just let me know if you'd like to be added to that. Hope you enjoy :) ~ Cecilia 🧡

Tag list: @intrikatie

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Fifteen-FINAL)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 16.1k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mourning, stages of grief, heartache, guilt, crying yeah lots of crying, dealing with death/loss of a loved one, graveyard, mentions of sex, another character death (sorry), mention of funeral, lots of closure!!! Full circle moments! Lots of sweet moments that make me cry lol, tons of DIRTY TALK, oral (fem rec), super sensitive oc, unprotected sex, creampie, honestly they’re both sensitive and desperate as hell lol oh and the use of the word ‘slut’

Notes: It’s the last chapter of this series. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around or is new. I’m sad its over but I hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy ride. Lots of love. Send an ask to chat about the story, makes my day<3 

Previously on…in chapter 14 of Love again, Jimin is feeling jealous and he just really wants to talk to you. Jimin has finally had enough and Jungkook thinks it’s the perfect time to let the universe work its magic. Jimin confesses his feelings he has and you two decide to try a low key relationship. Jeremy finally confesses to Naomi and they get together! It’s almost perfect but something is wrong with Jimin and you’re about to find out what. 

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a big day. The kind of big day that is talked about for years and years to come and the kind of day most have fantasized about since years and years ago. So, of course you are staring at yourself in the mirror, feeling nervous as you wonder if your make up is good enough or if this was actually the perfect dress choice. It’s a day of love. It makes sense that you are nervous. This is marriage. And weddings need to go smoothly so obviously you feel on edge! It’s natural. Or is it? It’s not like it’s your wedding. 

But well, you are the maid of honor. 

It’s the end of September, a little over a year since Naomi and Jeremy got together. Honestly, it only feels like yesterday—June 3rd—when Jeremy confessed his feelings to Naomi. It was the same day Jimin had his opening show and you all celebrated at Hoseok’s house and Jeremy poured his heart to Naomi in Hoseok’s kitchen. You shudder remembering the absolute cringe that unfolded in that kitchen but damn, it was soJeremy and you remember Naomi’s smile and you realize she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

You catch your reflection again as you quite literally reflect on the last year of everyone’s lives. How that night brought everyone here now, the good, the bad, the ugly. And also everything so beautiful. 

June 3rd of last year 

As distracted as Jimin is tonight, his eyes find you so often and he’s hit with adoration but also guilt. Maybe guilt isn’t the right word but it’s the only one that feels good enough right now. He feels guilty because he is guilty. In so many ways that crush him and every time he sees you smiling with your friends it just grows more and more. 

But sometimes even for the first few moments when his eyes land on you, before the guilt settles, he feels love. Love because he loves you. And it’s obvious to more than just him.

“Damn, dude.” Jungkook comes next to him, drink in hand as he uses the cup to gesture towards you. “You look like you’re in love.”

Jimin wants to roll his eyes and tell Jungkook to leave him alone but his love for you betrays him because he just softly whispers, “I am.” Instead. 

“Does she know?” Jungkook leans into him, smell of alcohol leaves his mouth. “Because—”

“She knows.” Jimin answers simply, a barely there smile tugging at his lips. 

“Oh.” Jungkook leans away, before prying further. “Are you two—”

“Yeah.” Jimin answers, knowing exactly where the question was headed. “We are.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen just the slightest before his entire expression shifts. Shit eating grin taking over before he bumps Jimin’s shoulder. “Then I guess I should say ‘you’re welcome’ huh?” 

Jimin finally tears his eyes off you before raising a brow at Jungkook.

“Yeah, you should probably invite me to your wedding.” Jungkook raises his cup towards Jimin with a smirk on his face.

“I didn’t even want to invite you here.” Jimin deadpans.

“Well, at least it worked this time.”

“What did?”

“Me and Taehyung had a similar plan years ago.” Jungkook exhales a long breath, finally ready to admit their shenanigans. “We thought if you saw y/n get pursued by others that you wouldn’t want to risk leaving her…ya know,” He starts gesturing around with his hands, “She’s so amazing and hot and everyone will jump at the opportunity at her, blah, blah, blah. And you wouldn’t want anyone else to snatch her up! We thought if you saw this…then you wouldn’t leave for New York and you’d stay instead…but well,” Jungkook just shrugs.

“You knew about New York? Taehyung told you?” Jimin’s brows pull together as he tries to make sense of what he was just told.

“Yeah, he did. Don’t be mad…he just didn’t know what to do.” Jungkook shrugs again. “He couldn’t really tell his best friend not to follow his dreams but he also knew y/n wouldn’t want to follow…”

“Well, he was right, I guess.”

“You kept the secret from y/n that entire fourth year, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think it would go anywhere…the audition, I mean.” Jimin sighs, “But in the spring they wanted to fly me out and I couldn’t keep it from her anymore.”

“Eh, whatever. Past is in the past.” Jungkook brushes it off, smirk back on his face. “What matters is the plan worked this time! You had nothing to worry about though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, y/n is…super cool and oh my god, so freaking hot like dam—”

“Jungkook.” Jimin says his name in warning.

“My bad. Habit.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender. “Point is, she is just a friend. Just wanted to rile you up, buddy.” 

Jimin narrows his eyes for a second before asking, “So you aren’t a girlfriend stealer?” 

“Dude, I can’t even find a decent single girl. So, no.” Jungkook chuckles. 

Jimin joins Jungkook in laughing, shaking his head at how ridiculous Jungkook is and the entire plan he had with Taehyung…he can believe it though. Suddenly, Jimin’s laughter dies down and any trace of a smile is wiped from his face when he feels his phone buzzing for what feels like the millionth time tonight. He takes it from his pocket and scans the screen before his sour mood returns tenfold. 

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, quickly noticing the shift. 

“I’ll take it from here.” Both boys lift their heads to the sound of Taehyung’s voice as he walks up to them. He’s clearly been well aware of Jimin’s mood lately. And he’s ready to confront it. Jungkook nods his head, getting the hint before squeezing Jimin’s shoulder and joining everyone else in the kitchen.

“Hello, my favorite person in the world!” Taehyung grins at Jimin before leaning against the living room wall. His smile turns soft before he calmly requests, “Let’s talk.” And talk is exactly what they do. Jimin explains everything. All of it. And of course, it breaks Taehyung’s heart.

“These feelings won’t just go away…the feelings won’t just leave you, man.” Taehyung’s voice is quiet, soft and troubled. “They don’t hate you.” He tries to reassure his best friend, “But what breaks my heart, Jimin, is that I think that it’s you who does.” 

It’s a truth Jimin knows already. But to hear it from someone who has always kept it real with him and has always warned him and has always helped him…he just feels it is solidified. And at this point, all he yearns for is comfort and the person he needs it from most is you. Even though his emotions are starting to spill from him and go all over the place, he wants to try to rely on comfort alone but he also knows he needs to be honest. 

Jimin walks into the kitchen, his gaze set on you as he sees you at the counter, pouring yourself a glass of water. He comes from behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he plants a few kisses to your neck. He doesn’t care about anyone seeing. You turn in his grasp, a curious look on your face as you glance around.

“Jimin?” You question him cutely and he wants to melt. “You’re making it quite obvious, you know?” He knows. And he doesn’t care. You’re laughing a little but you grow serious as you look at him and he knows you’re well aware of how utterly down and pathetic he looks. “Hey,” You brush some hair from his eyes, “Everything okay?”

“Not really.” He answers you honestly. Because honest is what he needs to be. 

~

Once the door to Hoseok’s back yard is shut, you and Jimin walk towards the end of the pavement where grass is met. It’s gotten later, the moon rising higher in the sky with a few stars scattered here and there. You brought Jimin out here so you two could have some privacy to talk and you feel nervous but ready to hear what’s been going on with him.

“You know,” Jimin looks down at the ground, “I’m trying so hard to convince myself I’m not a bad person because you don’t deserve a bad person. Even though I know I am.” 

Your heart is already picking up in speed, nerves setting fire to every molecule in your body. Blood being poisoned with his words. 

“Jimin…” You go to stand a little closer to him, “What are you—”

“Emma’s parents reached out to me.” He admits while his throat burns. “They called me like a week ago. They told me they were hosting a gathering to celebrate Emma’s life…and they invited me. Not just invited but rather…” He pauses, foot kicking imaginary rocks. “They were pretty insistent that I go.”

“Why now?” You ask slowly.

“They want to go public with the accident.” Jimin tells you. “They paid a lot of money at the time for things to stay very private. But now…” He starts chewing on his lips, eyes on his black dress shoes. “They believe in order for them to really move forward from grieving…they want to face it and accept it. So, they want to celebrate her life and they told me it’s something I should be there for…considering…”

“Oh.” You nod, trying to process everything. You think you can understand her parents perspective…they want to move forward—a healthy thing to do—instead of burying. “When is it?”

“It was tonight.” Jimin’s voice is quiet. “But tonight was opening night. And honestly,” He chuckles bitterly, “Even if it wasn’t…how could I show myself to them?” He finally lifts his eyes, head turning towards you with a pained expression. “I killed their daughter.”

“Woah, hey…” You immediately shake your head, brows pulled together so closely. “Jimin—”

“They’re disappointed I didn’t show.” He tells you, “Her father hasn’t exactly said kind words to me all evening.” 

“Oh.” You think about it for a moment. All the times he’s looked at his phone with a frown. “He’s just acting out, Jimin…I don’t know what he’s said but—”

“I’m selfish.” He croaks out. “Selfish for so many things and you know it.” 

“What?” You look at him, puzzled. “I don’t think that of you.”

“I am.” He says with a set mind. “I could go on and on—”

“No, you couldn’t.” You try to steer him away but he isn’t having it.

“I couldn’t?” He asks, “Seriously? Okay.” He nods. “What we had…” He motions between your bodies, “Was great. More than great. But I still left you for New York. You suffered, y/n…while I…and I am selfish for missing tonight when it is all my fault. If I never went to New York, I would have never broke your heart. If I never went to New York,” He pauses, throat still burning as his eyes sting. “Emma would still be alive.” 

Your heart has dropped to your lower belly, dying there, struggling to beat anymore.

“Me going to New York ruined everyone’s lives, huh?” He asks you, knowing no answer you could give will change his mind. He’s staring at you, teary eyes boring into yours. “I’m here. I’m the one who is here. It shouldn’t be me. Why is it me? Why am I the one who is here?” 

The pain in his eyes is enough to know his heartache won’t be easy to soothe. You know his guilt has become all-consuming and for the first time, you actually don’t know how to comfort him.

You’re at a loss for words. Mouth hanging open, your own teary eyes blinking at him repeatedly because you can’t fathom his overwhelming feelings and you cannot know what he is going through. 

He stares at you, growing more and more emotional and your lack of response is sending him into a spiral now. You want to reach for him or say something—anything—but you’re feeling broken as you watch him begin to stutter out apologies, voice cracking and eyes beginning to shed his mournful tears. He repeats his words over and over. Between ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’s’, you see how he breaks further and further into a mess. And then he says the most heartbreaking thing of all.

“I love you but I’m not the man I want or need to be for you.”

You feel it. You feel his words before he even says them. You are surprised though…you understand where this is going and what exactly he is implying. You understand completely even if you are still trying to make words come out. You understand his desire to step away from you, from the both of you. And you feel your heart breaking. He’s breaking your heart again.

But this ache you are feeling isn’t because of what he is saying that you are completely understanding. Your heart is broken and aching only because his heart is broken and aching. It’s that simple. You aren’t sad because of his implication. You’re sad because he’s sad. 

As much as you want to believe hugging him and telling him you love him will be what he needs, you know it’s not enough. You might have the ability to soothe him, but you do not possess the ability to heal him. It has only been over a year since he’s faced this loss…he’s grieving. And the biggest issue is…he isn’t even grieving properly. You’re aware there’s stages to this—five, you’re sure.

There’s Denial. You know that after the accident, Jimin tried so hard to live his life normally…he still went to work, rehearsals every single day despite needing literally anything else. Then, there’s Anger. His outburst at work. The drunkenness, attempts at fighting and harsh words. Third, there is Bargaining. You weren’t there so you don’t know exactly how this one was for him but even a few minutes ago he was blaming himself for Emma’s death and going as far as saying if he never want to New York that she would still be alive. 

Next, is Depression. And you think this is the stage he has been stuck in since coming back home from New York. He isolated himself…words from Lucy who saw it herself. He wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything. Never smiled or laughed. He omitted joy. But thankfully he found Lucy who seemed to help him and he was able to see a little light. 

But the light was just the sun barely peaking from dark, heavy clouds and perhaps you and your friends kept those clouds from crying rain over him. But you don’t think the clouds have dissipated quite yet. He hasn’t fully seen the sun.

And he deserves the sun.

Last, is Acceptance. Probably the stage that feels impossible. And it is definitely the stage he hasn’t experienced. You stand here, watching as he cries his heart out in front of you. Soft sobs leaving his body, looking frail, weak, fragile. Finally, you know what to say. Since you cannot heal…you’ll soothe. 

“Aren’t you the one who said the past is set in stone—you can’t change it—and you wouldn’t want to. Remember, why explore the ‘what ifs’?” You begin, but you see in his eyes he already hates this. But you continue, “Things happen the way they do, Jimin. That’s it. That’s life.” 

Jimin continues to cry silently, eyes on you but he’s confused where this is going.

“You did great things in New York, Jimin.” Your tone grows softer. “You created loving, everlasting memories. You wouldn’t change that, right?” He cries harder. “And me?” You point to yourself, “I grew up. I met my best friends who mean the world to me…I grew more independent and spent so much time with others.”

Jimin can’t bring himself to respond to anything yet and you’re glad because you aren’t done.

“And you gave Emma you.” You say to him as tenderly as possible. He parts his lips but no words come out, just a deep sob as he finally lets himself break down. “You don’t know what her fate was even if you weren’t involved in her life. Trust me, as someone who has experienced love with you…she wouldn’t have traded it for the world.” 

Jimin lowers himself to the ground, face buried in his hands. “Also,” You continue as you look up at the moon. The pretty moon. The moon who deserves the sun. He deserves the sun. The sun to reflect its light to make him shine. “Don’t say you aren’t the man you need to be for me.” You glance down at him before squatting down to his level. You cup his cheek and add, “Love yourself and be the man you need to be for you. You’re already everything to me, Jimin.”

He lifts his face, cracking a small smile through his snot and tears. “You aren’t letting this end between us, are you?”

“No.” you return his smile. “Not exactly, anyway. We’re a team. No matter what kind of relationship we have.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “I think you should see someone. A professional. And that’s a you thing…so I will respect these boundaries so you can heal…even as a friend…” You use your thumb to wipe some tears from his cheek, “I will never leave your side.”

August of last year

“I’m serious!” Naomi points down at the lunch menu, “The prices went up!” 

“You’re right…” Jeremy whines, “We are loyal customers here. How could they do this to us?”

“Ah ha!” Hoseok wiggles in his spot out of excitement, phone in his hands. “Dae finally sent me the actual dance competition video. She finally found it.” He looks up at you, his phone suddenly sliding to the side on the table at your usual lunch place. “Ready to watch it and see how I was so wronged that day?”

“She didn’t just send you sex videos again, right?” You can’t help but chuckle, pretending to slide his phone back. “Not something I want to see.” You pretend to gag while your best friend rolls his eyes.

“You aren’t so lucky.” He scoffs, “But anyway, no. This is the actual video! Let’s watch it!” And now he is scooting his chair closer to you, his finger itching to play it already.

“Fine.” Now you’re the one playfully rolling your eyes as you show him some finger quotes. “Let’s see how you were ‘so wronged’ in how Dae won.” 

“Trust me. I deserved to win.” Hoseok’s finger finally pushes against the screen as he plays the video. “Okay, watch here…see how I…wait, damn.” He pushes his head back in slight shock, “Did she really do that move…I don’t even remember.”

“Oh, she is good.”

“Yeah, but not bett—wait, okay see my immaculate foot work? Yeah, I’m a star!” He grins proudly as he watches. “Damn, wait. She just did the perfect moon walk. But no, still…I should have…hold on.” He pauses the video before looking at you. “There’s no way she was this good?”

“Weren’t you aware?”

He plays the video again. “Okay, you cannot tell me I am not moving to the beat. The rhythm is—hold on, did she just…there’s no way she…maybe she is good…”

“Didn’t you think so at the time too?” You start teasing him, “Isn’t that why you hated her and got horny and wanted to…oh what was it? Teach her a lesson?”

“Shut up.” He grumbles as he keeps watching. “Holy shit…maybe she did deserve to win.” You laugh at this but he immediately shakes his head in denial. “No, no. I’m just blinded because I’m in love. I totally deserved to win.”

You’re about to laugh again and continue to tease him when you realize what he said, “What did you just say?”

“That I totally deserved to win.” He keeps his eyes focused on the video.

“No…” You say slowly, “Before that.”

“Oh. That I’m blinded because I’m in….oh.”

“Love?” You punch his shoulder, smile on your face. “You just admitted you’re—”

Hoseok’s wide eyes meet yours, “No, that’s not what…we’ve only been dating for a few…no…holy shit.” He starts nodding his head as he stares at you. “Oh my god, I am.” 

You laugh, while Naomi and Jeremy laugh as well at the entire conversation. You look at your best friend, totally endeared before you pinch his cheek and he tries to swat you away. “Happy for you.” You tell him softly, “And she’d probably be happy to hear it too.” And then you release his cheek before swiping a fry from his plate.

“Hey!” Hoseok whines, “I thought you were done stealing my fries! You steal Jimin’s now!”

“Speaking of Jimin,” Naomi looks up from her menu, “Where is he?”

“It’s Thursday, Naomi.” Jeremy reminds her, “He has his appointment today.”

“Oh, that’s right!” She nods along then her eyes find yours and you see her sincerity. “How is that going by the way?”

All eyes on you as your friends wait for a positive response, “It’s going well.” You tell them honestly, “I think it took him a minute to get warmed up but there’s been progress.” You say with a smile, happy that all of your friends finally know about Jimin’s past and reasons for leaving New York. “Mr. Smith has been so great with him…he cares so much about Jimin, obviously. He gives him every Thursday off so he can just relax since it can be emotionally draining.”

“That’s awesome.” Naomi leans into Jeremy’s shoulder as she grins. “Progress, even a little, is everything.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok agrees, “He deserves to be happy.”

“He does.” You say before you click your phone as see the time. “Oh shit! We need to order or we are going to be late going back to work!”

September of last year

You’re at your desk, tension between your shoulders as usual as you try to finish this report before the deadline. You’re almost done—or maybe you’re just about to give up—when you feel that someone is behind you. You spin in your chair to see Jungkook staring at your screen before he’s blowing out air through his mouth and he sighs to himself.

“I’m going to miss this.” He complains so suddenly, breaking his whole character of being so serious at work. “I can’t believe today is my last day being your boss!” He finds your eyes now before he’s smirking. “But don’t worry, you can still totally call me Mr. Jeon.”

You swat his stomach and he flinches, “Hey!” He pouts at you, “You’re fired!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You brush him off with a laugh. “We’re going to miss you here too though. But we will still hang out!” 

“Of course we will.” Jungkook grins at you, “I’ll miss telling you what to do though.” He winks before walking over to Jeremy’s desk and you hear him immediately scolding him. 

You shake your head with a smile, eyes going back to your computer screen before you remember something that has you pulling out your phone and opening a text thread you haven’t seen in a little while.

y/n 2:32pm

Happy Birthday!!!! 🥳 I hope this book tour has been everything you’ve dreamed of and more. And I hope your birthday has been super amazing! ☺️

Namjoon 2:35pm

Thanks y/n 😊 it has been more than amazing. Just finished up our last stop and then I will get ready since Emiko and I are going to get dinner to celebrate. Thanks for the birthday text, hope you’ve been doing well.

You smile down at your phone before you click it off and get back to work.

October of last year

You can’t but laugh in your spot as you watch Jimin grow a little red from how loudly Taehyung is shouting at everyone who walks by. “It’s my best friends birthday!” He yells over and over, drunkenly slurring his words as he wraps his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Wish him a happy birthday you non-birthday wenches.”

“Wenches?” Jimin rubs his temple, “Interesting word choice.”

“It just feels so right.” Taehyung nods, determined look in his eyes. “Doesn’t it?”

“It’s not nice.” Jimin deadpans.

“Wait, you’re right.” Taehyung nods again, “I’m supposed to be finding the love of my life. Let me try again…hello,” He stops a group of girls who are walking by, they stop and stare at Taehyung, expecting him to get on with it. “It is my best friends birthday and you guys are just way too beautiful to not tell him and by him drinks.”

“We’re good.” One of the girls says before she looks at Jimin, “Happy birthday though.”

“Fine, by me a drink then.” Taehyung slurs. 

“No thanks.” Another girl says, eyebrow quirked at drunk Taehyung.

“No thanks? Don’t you want to fall in love?!?!?” Taehyung starts complaining now but it’s to no one since the girls have now walked away. “Why is love so hard?!” 

“Taehyung.” Jimin smiles at him.

“I’m lonely and no one wants me.”

“You just have to meet the right girl! You’re meeting all the wrong ones.” Jimin tries to make him feel better. “Don’t force it! Before you know it, you’ll be randomly meeting a girl who is just like you!”

“That probably doesn’t exist. I’m the only one of my kind.” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Anyway, since it’s your birthday I think we can convince y/n to have a threesome with us—” He stops when he sees Jimin’s unenthused expression. “Okay, I’m going to the bar where Hoseok and Jeremy are, they’re downing shots like men. I too am a man.” He waddles away while Jimin chuckles to himself before his eyes find you. He gives you a small wave.

You go to him, where he stands on the other side of the tall table, arms wrapping around him as you give him another hug. “Happy birthday again.” You say. He smells so nice. So Jimin and you melt, wanting nothing more than to just stay here, inhaling him for all he’s worth and living like this. But you know you have to pull away.

“Thanks.” He keeps you stuck to his body for a moment longer before letting you disconnect yourself. 

“Thanks for being born.” You smile, “Thanks for being here. I’m glad you are.”

Something similar to the guilt he’s been harboring for a while now flashes in his eyes. The same guilt you had been exposed to. But after a moment it’s replaced with an honest softness before he’s smiling, “Me too.” And you know he’s telling the truth. “Mr. Smith says to stop by more often. He says show days isn’t enough. You owe him, according to him.”

“I owe him?” You raise a brow in amusement. “How so?”

“He told me he only increased my pay so I could take you out on dates.” He’s playful as he speaks, “Like the old days.”

You laugh a little, cheeks feeling warm before you speak. “Doesn’t he know there’s no dates?” 

“He said I can just save up and take you on one in the future but it has to be fancy, I guess.” He shrugs. 

“Also,” You still feel your cheeks heating up. “What about the old days?”

“I used to beg him to pay me more so I could take you out.” Jimin’s lips lift into one of his sly smiles. “How else could I afford it?”

Now you’re really laughing, “Jimin, the most expensive date we ever went on was watching two movies in one night.”

“Movies are expensive! I bought us popcorn! And drinks! And candy! You think money grows on trees?” Jimin’s lips are in a puffy pout with big, exaggerated eyes. “I didn’t know you were so ungrateful.” He jokes, eyes softening.

“I’m not!” You defend yourself, “I don’t care what we do or what we did! Just liked being with you…” You mumble, eyes sliding to the side.

“Is that so?” Jimin’s voice drops a little lower, “Then you’re happy right now then? Even like this…” He pauses, waiting for you to get his implication. “You’re happy?”

“Even like this.” You assure him. “Now let’s join the others. I think Jungkook said he brought a birthday surprise for you but is waiting until we get back to my place.”

“It’s fucking brownies, isn’t it?” 

“It’s Jungkook…what do you think?”

December of last year

Jimin 7:14pm

Merry Christmas again y/n 🥰 have you and your family had dinner yet? My mom asked about you probably around 8 times now lol she won’t stop bringing you up since the show last month

Jimin 7:15pm

She also wont stop telling me youre going to get a boyfriend at any minute since youre so beautiful 

Jimin 7:15pm

I mean shes not wrong but 🙄

y/n 7:42pm

sorry we were still eating! We had a late start bc my mom insisted to do everything herself but then complained when no one helped her lmao

y/n 7:42pm

but yes merry Christmas again hehe

y/n 7:42pm

and tell your mom no boyfriend for me 

Jimin 7:45pm

She is really happy were in each others life tho

Jimin 7:45pm

Im also happy about that

y/n 7:58pm

me too jiminie 

Jimin 8:14pm

Also…im still sorry about last week

y/n 8:51pm

you were drunk its okay plus its not like I was going to stop you

Jimin 8:51pm

Its not fair though…for you. I don’t want you to think I don’t take where our friendship is at seriously. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you when im still so….

Jimin 8:52pm

You mean so much to me and I I wouldn’t do that to you

y/n 8:53pm

its really not a big deal dude lol seriously! 

Jimin 9:02pm

Me wanting to kiss you feels like a big deal tho 🙃 but I get what you mean but im still sorry 

Jimin 9:02pm

I hope I can kiss you again one day in different circumstances 

y/n 9:05pm

jimin im sorry but maybe we can just change the subject for now…got any presents yet?

February (current year)

It’s one day before your best friend, yes your absolute bestest friend in the entire world or even universe’s birthday. Jung Hoseok. And you wish you were staying up with him until midnight to celebrate his life because he deserves it. He’s your closest most special friend, he is your family. And you couldn’t be further away from him. And he couldn’t be more understanding. 

Because he knows how important this is. 

It’s your second time ever visiting New York, it’s cold, freezing even, but watching Jimin gives you an undeniable warmth rushing through your body. You’re both here, visiting this city with a purpose. Different purposes…yours is to merely support—to just be here. 

There’s snow falling all around you, snowflakes decorating the ground, the trees and the tombstones. Your back is against a tree, the trunk is thick and the leaves that never managed to fall covered in snow. Your eyes are on the scenery around you and falling to Jimin every now and then, his side profile in view. The bridge of his nose, the plumpness of his lips and his head of hair hiding beneath a black beanie. He’s not too far from you, his figure standing tall as he holds a bouquet of flowers while he stares down at the grave. 

This was his idea—or maybe it was his therapists—either way, you know it’s necessary. Necessary for him so he can move on…more forward. Receive closure, perhaps. But of course, you know this isn’t easy for him, no matter how bravely he announced to you that he wanted to do this. He didn’t hesitate to ask you to join him and you didn’t hesitate to agree to come along. And Hoseok didn’t hesitate in urging you as well. 

He’s been standing there for a while, eyes so focused on the name on the tombstone. Emma Dubois. You can sense how tense he is, staring down and you can basically physically see the millions of words in his head. You stay leaning against the tree when you notice Jimin finally slowly fall to his knees on the grave, his shaky hands placing the flowers down as he bows his head. 

It’s the two year anniversary of her death today. This isn’t easy for him. He’s stiff, still with his head bowed down before you can finally see the image of his shoulders slightly shake. His eyes are slammed shut, his breaths are heavy—you can see each one in the cold air. Of course you want to go to him but you keep your distance, knowing he needs this. Needs this time alone. No, not alone. Time with Emma. 

The urge to go to him only grows stronger when your heart begins to pinch…it doesn’t take an expert lip reader to see the apologies and regret spilling from his lips and all the tears that accompany. You’re sure his tears are warm on his cheeks, the way they trail down, leaving behind their warmth to comfort him since you can’t. This. This is what he has been yearning for…giving Emma his words, his heartfelt words. Each tear that falls to the grave gets him closer to the forgiveness he is searching for, closer to the freedom. Heart pinching a little less, you see how this begins to relax his body, like he is releasing everything and maybe he can finally feel something close to ease.

After a while, Jimin stands again, legs looking a little wobbly but he manages to stand stronger than before. Hands wiping at his face, finally letting himself mourn just a little while longer before he takes a deep, deep breath and smiles down at the grave. He gives a small nod before turning in his spot, eyes finding you. You who leans against a tree, snow whirling around your figure and Jimin is starting to remember how pretty snowflakes are again. 

You can see in his eyes that he has finally bid his farewell. He walks closer to you, finding a spot on the thick trunk, leaning against the tree as well. His eyes lift to the snowy sky.

“She’s missed.” He tells you softly. “I’m grateful for the time I got to know her.” He lowers his gaze, eyes finding yours before he’s smiling and reaching for your hand. You’re surprised by the contact. The contrast of this cold day with his warm fingers makes you feel like a cozy blanket has suddenly wrapped around you. 

“Should we go eat now?” He nods towards the street, “I’m so hungry!” 

You blink at him for a moment and then you finally smile. Last stage…acceptance. “Yeah.” 

April

“Wait what the hell is happening? Is this what I think it is?” Hoseok keeps hitting your thigh, his knuckles knocking against you annoyingly.

“If you think it’s a fucking proposal then yes. Stop hitting me!” You try to shove him away, “And shush!”

“Naomi….” Jeremy has Naomi’s hands in his, “I really—”

“Did you know this was happening? He didn’t tell me?!” Hoseok whisper shouts in your ear, “Did you know?”

“No.” You whisper back, eyes glued to your two friends who are apparently about to start making out because you think Jeremy just proposed. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No!” Hoseok’s wide eyes stay on them as well. “He doesn’t even have a ring? Maybe he didn’t even know he was doing this.”

“We can literally hear you guys.” Jeremy finds the closest napkin and throws it at you both. “And no, I didn’t know. But I knew it was time.”

“Time?! You’ve been dating for like—” Hoseok is cut off when you swat his arm. 

“Wait, are you two really engaged now?” You ask, but when you see how absolutely in love and happy Naomi looks, you kind of know the answer. “I didn’t even get to hear it…” You slump your shoulders at the restaurants table. “Hoseok wouldn’t shut the hell up.”

“You know I narrate everything? Why are you acting surprised?” He’s the one acting annoyed now. “Jimin did you hear anything that happened?”

“How could I have?” Jimin laughs, “I was trying to pay attention but dude, you don’t know how to whisper. But also, it’s not like y/n wasn’t talking the entire time either.” 

“I want to get married too.” Taehyung stabs his utensils in his food right when your server comes back to your table. 

“Can I get you all anything else?” She smiles at you guys when Taehyung lifts his eyes towards her.

“Want to marry me?” He blurts.

She glances around awkwardly, “I literally don’t know you.”

Taehyung shrugs and nods his head like he understands, “That’s fair.” He mumbles before stabbing his food some more.

“Anyway.” Dae rolls her eyes while she shakes her head. “Congrats, you two.” She raises her water towards Jeremy and Naomi. “You’re really engaged? Like you two are going to get married?”

“Well, since Hoseok is loud as fuck and no one heard my incredibly romantic proposal…” Jeremy huffs out. “Yes. I literally asked ‘will you marry me’ and—”

“And I literally said yes.” Naomi shakes her head in disapproval but she’s still smiling. “You’re telling me you guys didn’t hear it at all?”

“All I could hear was Hoseok’s loud ass voice.” You deadpan.

“Oh yeah, let’s all blame the guy for saying what we were all thinking.” Hoseok waves you off but you lean into him with a straight face.

“We were keeping our thinking in our heads unlike you.” 

“Can we just congratulate our best friends or are you going to keep complaining?” Hoseok leans into you as well with a glare.

“Should I start saying what I’m thinking too?” You ask with a smile. “Thoughts of strangling you with my bare—”

“Oh my god, just say you’re happy for them you two.” Dae cuts in with a hearty laugh. “You guys fight like siblings who are in middle school.”

“Speaking of middle school, remember that girl who said you had no swa—”

“Too far!” Hoseok shouts out incredulously. “Jimin, can you please get your friend.” 

“Wait, what happened in middle school?” Dae asks, glancing around the table. 

“Some girl said Hoseok had no swag.” Jeremy shrugs, “Something like that.”

“Who was it baby?” Dae grows serious. “I will fight this bitch, who was it?”

“You’re the only one I can count on, Dae.” Hoseok closes his eyes slowly with a nod to his head, “You’re the only one who understands how truly—”

“Anyway,” you finally laugh a bit, pinching Hoseok’s arm as he yelps. “We are happy for you both. Why so suddenly though?”

“We are already live together, work together, hang out together and we’re basically already married…why not just make it official? Love is fucking awesome.” Jeremy tells you all. “Highly recommend.”

“Thanks for the recommendation.” Taehyung grunts while he continues to stab his food. 

“Well, some other news.” Dae gets everyone’s attention. “I put in another work transfer request and I’m feeling pretty hopeful this time! I probably won’t know anything until later in the summer though.”

“You’ll get it.” Hoseok grabs Dae’s hand. “You’ll be moving in before you know it.”

“Yeah. Dae.” Taehyung stares down at his food, “You’ll be.” Stab. “Living.” Stab. “With your.” Stab. “Soul.” Stab. “Mate.” Three more stabs. 

Naomi offers a disturbed expression before looking at Jimin and silently mouthing ‘is he okay?’

Jimin just laughs it off, waving his hands around before massaging Taehyung’s shoulder, “He’s just a little sensitive.”

Taehyung pauses his stabs before looking at all of you, “I’m not sensitive.” He says matter of fact before dramatically looking up at the ceiling with a solemn expression. “I’m lonely.”

“More like dramatic.” You chuckle. 

“Don’t worry bro.” Jeremy slides a shot over to Taehyung, “Your time will come.”

June

“It’s pretty miserable but honestly, you guys won’t believe it!” Jungkook leans forward on Hoseok’s sofa, beer bottle in his hand. “My mom actually praised me. Trust me, I know it’s hard to believe!” He offers a large bunny grin.

“What?” You question him excitedly. “What did she say?!”

“Okay, you guys ready for this? She said, and I quote ‘wow, Jungkook, you actually didn’t fuck up this time.’ Can you believe it?!” He continues to grin while you blink at him.

“Oh…” You smile awkwardly, “I guess that’s a start?”

“I bet she was so sexy when she said it.” Taehyung sips his own beer.

“Gross, dude.” Jungkook shudders, “Anyway, my dad even agreed. It’s looking up.”

“Quick, Taehyung. Is his dad hot too?” Dae asks.

Taehyung sighs out, “Unbelievably so.” 

“Nice.” Dae nods.

“What is wrong with them?” Hoseok groans out, “Anyway, Jeremy said he and Naomi will be here in like an hour. They were having dinner with her parents.” 

“How’s their wedding planning going?” Jimin asks from beside you, “Good?”

“Naomi is a perfectionist and Jeremy kind of just exists.” You say with a laugh, “But it’s not too stressful yet.”

“That’s—oh, hold on. Getting a call.” Jimin says as he tries to slide his phone from his pocket. He looks down at the screen as he frowns. “I don’t know this number.”

“Probably spam.” Taehyung tells him. “I get at least 5 a day.”

“So annoying.” You add.

“Probably.” Jimin slips the phone back in his pocket after sending the call to voicemail. “Anyway, I—” He stops when he feels his phone vibrating again. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to slide his phone out again. “Oh. It’s Mr. Smith this time.” He says with a smile. “Hold on. Hello? What’s up Mr—oh, hi Mrs—sure, Alina.” Jimin continues to smile as he talks to Mr. Smith’s wife. “Is everything—oh.” His smile suddenly drops. Jimin’s eyes quickly go to you, he looks a bit worried and you feel yourself grow a little worried too. You mouth, ‘is everything okay?’ but Jimin continues listening on the other line, concentrating on her words. 

“When? Oh. Okay. I see. I’m so sorry…” His voice grows quiet and now everyone in Hoseok’s living room is watching as Jimin takes this phone call. “Yeah, no, I understand. Of course. I’m so sorry Alina…Viktor was…yeah. It’s when? Of course, I’ll be there. Yeah, she will come too.” Jimin glances at you, your eyebrows pulled so closely together as you try to understand what’s happening. “You want to meet? Sure, we can. Of course…of course. I’ll see you on Monday then. Once again, I’m sorry…yeah.” He nods. “Bye.” And then he hangs up the phone. He stares at nothing for a moment before he looks at you. 

“That was Mrs. Smith?” You ask, “Is everything okay?”

“Um,” Jimin smiles a little, “Not really. Uh, Viktor—Mr. Smith, he uh, he passed last night.”

“Wait, what?” Hoseok gasps a little. “The director?” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “It was peaceful…in his sleep.” Jimin confirms softly. “Alina, his wife wants to meet me on Monday though. Has something for me.”

“Holy shit…” You whisper. “Are you serious?” Your eyes grow a little watery but Jimin is quick to grab your hand. 

“It’s okay. She said it was peaceful.” 

“I’m sorry dude.” Taehyung frowns, “I know you guys loved that guy.”

“Will you come with me?” Jimin asks you, squeezing your hand. “Alina says to bring you.”

You take a moment to respond, the shock a little well, shocking. You finally knock out of it and nod your head and squeeze Jimin’s hand back. “Yeah, sure.”

~

You’re in the old theatre building, the one that needs renovations so bad, the one you came to almost daily back in college and the one you come to now to watch Jimin perform. The one that feels like stepping inside a place similar to home. The one Mr. Smith had always made you feel was a home.

You and Jimin walk in the back to Mr. Smith’s old office, one he is no longer occupying but it still smells like him. Old books, leather, maybe something sweet from a candle that’s fire has lingered. Mrs. Smith is sitting at his desk, a pair of glasses hanging lowly on her nose as she reviews some papers. She lifts her eyes when you and Jimin walk into the room, a gentle smile on her bright face. 

“You’re here.” She beams at you both, her eyes sparked with adoration. You wonder how she looks so okay when her husband has just passed. Her smile isn’t the only thing gentle, her eyes are also shining with a delicacy. She’s looking tired, age evident on her but she still smiles. “Sit, sit.”

“Hi Mrs—”

“Please, call me Alina.” She tells you, her cheeks dusted so rosy. “Viktor never let anyone call me anything but Alina. Said my name was too beautiful to be called anything else.”

“Wow,” Jimin chuckles softly, “I didn’t know Mr. Smith was so smooth.”

“Oh, 50 years ago he was the smoothest man I ever met. But somehow,” She leans back into the leather chair, “He got even more impressive with time. I must have taught him well.” She winks at you guys and you both laugh. “Anyway, the funeral is on Thursday but I wanted to meet before that…I have something for you Jimin.” Her fingers tap against a packet before sliding it across the desk. “Take a look.” 

You and Jimin exchange a glance before he’s taking the packet, opening it and slipping some papers. His eyes scan over it a few times, his expression growing more and more confused the more he reads over it. “What am I looking at?” Jimin questions quietly, “What—”

“To put it simply,” Alina reaches for her glasses before taking them off her face. “This building…its ours.” She gestures around. “He bought it decades ago. You probably didn’t know, huh?”

“He owns this building?” Jimin looks up from the papers. “It’s his? I thought he just worked here…” 

“Was his.” She smiles. “He’s leaving it to you.”

“Wait, wait.” Jimin’s eyes go back down to the papers in his hands, “I’m sorry but what?” He scans the papers again, “No…it’s yours. Right? It’s yours, I can’t possibly—”

“I thought you’d deny but,” Alina opens a drawer at the desk, she reaches for a closed envelope. “He did too. So here.” She hands Jimin a letter. “Read it, honey.”

Jimin looks at you, his eyes big and confused. He’s hesitant but reaches for the envelope and opens it as smoothly as possible. A single folded sheet of paper inside. 

Dear Jimin,

Did you know that you brought this old building back to life? You might have even been the one to give it life in the first place all those years ago. You are what I once dreamed of becoming when I was young…ah,  but I could not command a stage like you. So my new dream was to provide it for someone who could. How’s Alina? Don’t let her sweet smile fool you, she’s actually quite feisty. My beautiful wife has tried to get me to sell this building for years. So please…don’t think even for a second she wants to keep this place. She’s probably feeling relieved to finally get rid of it! With that being said, it’s yours. But I know you are meant to be on stage…so I wouldn’t be upset if you decide to sell it. Do that if you’d like. Use the money to buy yourself a more decent place to live! Your studio apartment truly is tragic. Sell if you need to. Maybe to someone who might actually renovate it, unlike a cheap bastard like myself! (haha!) Please watch after my Alina for me. And please…ask y/n to watch after you for me. 

Live a long and wonderful life.

Sincerely,

Viktor Smith 

Jimin’s eyes are teary as he folds the paper again, he takes a moment to collect himself, deep breath before finding Alina’s eyes. “Did he know he was going to…” 

Alina blinks a few times before understanding his question and then she’s smiling again, “He’s been sick for some time, dear.” She informs the both of you. “My Viktor is resting now. He lived very happily.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to remain calm even though this feels a bit emotional.

“He talked about you two years and years ago…back when you were in college. A natural star and his beautiful girlfriend. How much fun the two of you were…he would come home laughing so hard, telling all these stories. Well,” Alina blinks back a few tears of her own, still smiling. “I guess buying this building forever ago was worth it. Seeing him that happy. Thank you.” She tells you both, “Take care of yourselves.” 

August 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jeremy?” Naomi shouts across their living room. Your eyes go between her, Jeremy and the little, tiny thing she is referring to.

“What?” He looks around, clueless. 

“Our wedding is in a month! I am literally going insane trying to plan this thing! Why do you think this was the right time for that?!”

“What do you mean?” He continues to play innocent.

“A puppy, Jeremy?! Are you serious?!” Naomi throws her face in her hands, “Why?”

“…Bacon needed a friend.” He finally gives a reason.

“Oh my god, I am going to kill you.” Naomi looks around at the rest of you, wanting some back up. “I finally got Bacon to stop being a little shit and pissing on my rug. Now we have a puppy to potty train?” 

“Damn, that does suck.” You shake your head and Hoseok nods his head in agreement. 

“Nothing about having a puppy sucks guys.” Jeremy scolds you both. “Why is everyone so heartless?”

“The wedding is in a month. We don’t have time for this…” Naomi gives up, plopping down on her sofa. “It’s so soon.”

“It is so soon.” Hoseok chimes in, “Like, didn’t you guys just get engaged…oh my god, Naomi. Are you pregnant?” 

Dae snorts at this but immediately hits Hoseok’s chest when Naomi glares at them. “What?” Hoseok whines, “We’re all thinking it. So…are you?”

“No!” 

Everyone laughs before heads are turning towards Naomi and Jeremy’s front door when Jimin and Taehyung walk in.

“We’re here! We brought lots of snack and—” Taehyung stops in his tracks when he notices a little puppy standing in the middle of the living room. “A puppy?!” He runs towards it in excitement. 

“Oh, cute.” Jimin smiles but it drops. “Wait, I think it’s peeing.”

Everyone’s head turns towards Naomi who is already glaring at Jeremy. “I’m going to kill you.” 

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to being a married man, guys.” 

“R.I.P” Hoseok sends Jeremy some finger guns. 

You giggle to yourself, “So anyway,” You turn to Hoseok and Dae, “Just two more weeks, right?”

“Yeah!” Dae grins, “Two more weeks and Hoseok and I will be done with the long distance. I’ve already started bringing some things over when I visit on weekends. Hoseok isn’t willing to compromise on some things though. Can you talk some sense into him?”

You quirk a brow at your best friend, “What kinds of things?”

“She’s being unfair, y/n.” Hoseok tells you. “She wants to change my bedding!” 

“It’s going to be ours though!” 

You glance at Dae, mortified. “Hoseok’s sheets were expensive! He’s cheap as hell, it was one of the only things he was willing to spend money on and you want to change them?”

“Exactly!” Hoseok leaps into your arms, “You get me. She gets me, my best friend gets me.” 

“They’re red!” Dae looks at you like you cannot be serious. “They’re so ugly!” 

“Sleep in the guest room then.” Hoseok shrugs, still in your arms like you’re going to protect him.

“Fine.” Dae raises her nose in the air, “Have fun using your hand for the rest of your life.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen, he jumps from your arms to hers. “Now that I think about it, red is ugly.” 

“Men.” You roll your eyes. 

“What about men?” Jimin comes to you all, he stands next to you from where you sit on the sofa. 

“Easily manipulated with sex.” You shrug, barely dismissing how pathetic it is. “Sad, right?”

“Manipulation is also sad.” Jimin laughs. 

“Touché.” 

“Can you help me cut up some fruit?” Jimin asks you, “Taehyung went to the bathroom. He’s lying about his stomach hurting, he just doesn’t want to help.”

“Classic.” You stand from the sofa, already heading towards Naomi and Jeremy’s kitchen with Jimin following behind. “Strawberries too?”

“There weren’t any that looked perfectly juicy, sorry.” Jimin smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to get you some, I promise, but I wasn’t going to bring some that weren’t good enough.” 

“Ah.” You click your tongue, “Well, what can you do.”

“So you admit you’d want something only if it were good enough?” Jimin says lightly, he comes from behind you as you reach for a pineapple. “I’ll cut this.” 

“No I can—wait,” You think about what he just said for a moment before you snort. “Jimin,” You turn to face him, his body only inches from yours. “Did you just compare yourself to strawberries?” 

“I don’t know.” He laughs but there’s something a little sad in his words. “Did I?”

“Anyway,” You look into his eyes, all teasing gone. “You’re the only one who thinks you’re not good enough.” Then you turn back around to face the counter before you’re attempting to cut the fruit. 

“That so?” Jimin whispers, “Maybe I’m still working on it then.” 

September 

You cannot believe it’s already the night before the wedding. You, Naomi, Dae and Naomi’s sister are treating yourselves to a spa day/night. You’re all wearing cute, rejuvenating face masks, eating snacks and giving cheers with full glasses of champagne.

“I can’t believe tomorrow is the day.” Naomi chugs back her entire glass of champagne. “Is anyone else freaking out or just me?”

“It’s normal to freak out.” You chuckle, “It’s a big day.”

“I just keep thinking…like, every time Jer does something that makes me feel annoyed I’m like…oh my god, can I deal with this for the rest of my life?!” 

Dae starts giggling at this, “I had a thought like that recently when Hoseok started vacuuming our bedroom while I was still sleeping.”

“He’s a menace.” You snort, “My condolences.”

“Thanks.”

“Guys, I’m serious. I’m freaking out. This is a huge life thing and I’m just…wondering how people do this and they’re so sure. How do I know this is right?” Naomi sits down onto a chair. “I love him. And I know that there probably isn’t anyone else out there for me…not like how he is. Actually, yeah.” She kind of smiles now. “He is for me. Just like I know I’m for him…but I’m afraid one day he will just get tired of me.” She laughs. “I don’t even think my concern about him doing annoying stuff is even about me finding him annoying. I think I’m just afraid he might think that about me.” 

“He lives with Bacon.” You tell her with a smirk, “No one is more annoying than that guy and we all love him. Trust me, if he can be best friends with that dog…you’re a walk in the park.”

“Did you just call my dog annoying?”

“That’s beside the point.” 

“Naomi,” Naomi’s sister hands her another glass of champagne, “Answer this one question.”

“Which is?”

“If you called off this wedding, would Jeremy still be the one?”

“Huh?” Naomi looks around, “Of course he would be.”

“Then you know you’re ready for marriage.” She tells her, “Chug the drink.”

“I’m confused.” Dae admits, “How is that—”

“If you can envision your life with a person even without marriage then there’s a good chance they’re the perfect person to marry. You can still be happy, still satisfied and content because you just want to be with that person. Marriage just has perks. It’s not the thing that solidifies love.” Her sister says softly, “If you can confidently say with or without the big day that comes tomorrow…that he and you could still be happy and in love—then you’re marrying the right person.”

“Dang, I wish I had an older sister.” Dae looks at Naomi’s sister with heart eyes.

“Oh come on, Dae.” You chuckle, “Taehyung is a master of advice—especially when it comes to life and love.” 

Dae nibbles on her lips for a moment, “You’re not wrong. Taehyung is the definition of a cool, understanding and protective brother. Even though he complains a lot.” She laughs. “But he gets disturbed easily.”

“And whose fault is that?” You ask with a straight face. “It’s your life mission to make him scold you.”

“I’m the baby in my family it’s like literally my life’s purpose to be a brat.” She shrugs nonchalantly. 

“At least she’s self-aware.” Naomi nods. “Anyway, I’m sure Jer and the guys are having a blast.”

“Speaking of the guys…wait, y/n.” Dae whips her head in your direction. “Any progress with Jimin?” 

“You mean with his therapy? He’s doing so well—”

“No, with you, dummy.”

Your cheeks heat up, face feeling hot and you’re grateful you’re wearing a face mask that seems to be cooling you down. “With me?” You point at yourself. “I don’t even know. It hasn’t been a topic of conversation in so long. I’m trying not to think about it. I don’t even know if he’s even thought about it.”

“You’re still into one another, right?” Naomi asks. “I mean, obviously. Friends or whatever the hell, you guys are attached at the hip.”

“We don’t cross any lines.” You admit as you take your own seat. “There’s moments sometimes where its unspoken, I guess. Tension. Innocent flirting. But it never goes further.” 

“You sound disappointed.” Dae calls you out but you wave her off.

“No.” You say, “Not really. I’m just wondering how long I can keep it up.”

“You mean…how long until you move on?” Naomi asks, brows pinched together. “Nobody would blame you, you know? Not even him.”

“I don’t know that I could ever move on.” You chuckle quietly, “I don’t want to rush him but I can’t read his mind…I don’t…I’m respecting the boundaries but I think because we have both had this mind set for so long it’s almost awkward or strange to bring it up now again.” 

“That’s realistic.” Naomi assures you, “You’ve been trying to be cool, and chill and understanding but I think you also get the free pass of being demanding of some answers.”

“Getting answers means there’s a chance I won’t like what I get.”

“Then at least you’ll know.” Dae cuts in. “Taehyung can be pretty smart sometimes. You guys really are soulmates and maybe you’re blind to it but Jimin is probably on the verge of exploding. His eyes are never not on you, y/n. And the story that is the two of you…well, it’s not going to end with an answer you won’t like. It just means it’s not the end of the story yet.”

“Can I offer some advice?” Naomi’s sister questions you and you nod your head frantically.

“Jimin is the one with thick lips and an ass, right?”

“….Yeah.”

“My advice is that you confess and claim. Hurry or I will.” 

“Dude!” Naomi shouts at her sister. “Anyway, the guys are doing their weird little manly men tradition. Camping or whatever.”

“Yeah, my brother said it’s going to be an epic boys night.”

“Jimin mentioned it too,” You chime in, “Classic testosterone building.”

“Ugh, great.” Naomi rolls her eyes. “They’re probably punching each other right now in the face as we speak to see who is the manliest. I swear if Jeremy shows up tomorrow with a black eye…on our fucking wedding day.”

-The guys-

“We know why we’re here,” Taehyung gestures around, a proud grin on his face. “We’re celebrating our fellow brother, Jeremy.” 

“Brothers.” Jeremy nods towards the guys. “It’s my last night being an unmarried man and there’s no one else I’d rather spend the day with. As men, we have certain duties…”

“Exactly.” Taehyung throws his hands on his hips. “Do you guys know why we’re here?” 

“To do manly shit, right?” Jungkook starts hopping in his spot. “I’m so fucking excited.”

“Exactly. I don’t know anyone else who achieves this level of fucking gloriousness.” Taehyung suddenly bumps Jungkook’s chest with his own. “Men!” 

“That’s us.” Hoseok says proudly, “Reporting for duty.”

“Right, right. Reporting for duty.” Jimin laughs. 

“Is this fucking funny to you?” Taehyung asks with a scowl, he comes toe to toe with Jimin. “Say it like you mean it.”

“Taehyung.”

“Right, sorry. I’m just really excite—anyway, men!” Taehyung looks up at the sky, “I think we all know exactly what we want to achieve tonight.”

All the guys start nodding along as they look at one another, “We do.” Jeremy says. 

“Hell yeah!” Jungkook keeps jumping up and down. “What’s first? Going to cut down some trees and chop up wood for a fire? Fire we make from scratch? What else? Oh! Catch our food! Climb a mountain?!”

“Oh Jungkook.” Hoseok puts a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This is way better than just climbing a damn mountain. It’s more than you could ever imagine.”

“In a way, we will climb mountains,” Taehyung sighs out, “In a way, we are starting fires from scratch.” 

“You have no idea, Jungkook…” Jeremy starts filling him in, “But we’re about to exceed anything you thought being manly was. This is crazier, more intense, maybe even illegal and forbidden…maybe even a fucking crime.”

“Holy shit are we going to kill some—”

One hour later

“And that’s how I,” Jeremy is forced to pause when he hiccups. “How I knew Naomi was the one.”

Jungkook stares at him in disbelief, expression angry while his eyes look teary. “Give me that.” He yanks the bottle of liquor from Jeremy’s hands and takes an aggressive sip. “That had no fucking business being that beautiful.”

All the boys heads turn towards Taehyung when they hear him sniffling, “WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!” he yells out, the tiny tent they built barely holding it together. 

“Don’t force it, dude.” Jeremy slurs.

“So what?” Taehyung cries out dramatically, “I’m supposed to just pretend that I’m not constantly looking for the love of my life?!”

“Sometimes you find the love of your life when you least expect it.” Jimin says.

“Exactly.” Hoseok adds, “That’s how that works.” 

“Mhm.” Jeremy takes the bottle of liquor back and takes a gulp.

Taehyung looks at everyone incredulously, “Oh.” He starts laughing. “That is rich coming from you guys! This is what privilege looks like.” He is now the one stealing away the bottle and gulping some back. When he swallows the nasty liquid, he wipes his mouth before pointing at his friends. “Your love stories are basically written like romance novels with the most basic tropes. You,” He points at Jeremy, “Best friends to lovers. Boring! And you,” He points at Hoseok now, “Enemies to lovers. How creative! And you!” He points at Jimin, “Some sort of weird exes story.”

“Wait, what about me?” Jungkook points at himself innocently.

“The perfect author hasn’t found you yet, buddy. But what’s my story?! Huh?! Don’t tell me I’m just some side character in your stories and I don’t even get my own book?!” 

“What the hell is he talking about?” Jeremy whispers towards Hoseok, “I literally don’t understand anything he’s saying.”

“Same.” Hoseok shrugs.

“Guys, we all know Taehyung has a really interactive imagination.” Jimin offers Taehyung a pity smile, “Listen, I just know you’re going to have the most epic love story of all.” 

“I think so too. If we stick with your logic, you might even be the main character here.” Hoseok reaches for the bottle. 

“Yeah well…wait,” Taehyung pauses as he ponders thoughtfully. “Actually, you guys might be onto something…maybe this has actually been about me the entire time…”

“Anyway,” Jungkook takes the bottle from Hoseok, “If this night has taught me anything it’s that the most important thing is to love ourselves.”

“Fucking exactly. That’s step one!” Jeremy shouts.

“With that being said…” Jungkook glances around the tent, nerves making him feel crazy…”…I’m going to quit my parent’s company!” He suddenly blurts. “Yeah! Fuck that place! I’m going to quit!”

“Wait, for real? You’re serious?” Jimin asks, smile growing on his face. “You’re sure you want to do that dude?”

“You basically just asked me if I’m sure that I want to love myself and be happy.” Jungkook gulps some liquor back. “I want to live my life.”

“Hell yeah, brother.” Jeremy nods in approval. “No matter what happens, we support you.”

“Yeah, we do.” Taehyung grips Jungkook’s shoulder and rocks him around. “This is brotherhood.”

“Fucking boys night.” Hoseok grins to himself. 

“But uh,” Taehyung clears his throat. “Speaking of loving ourselves and what not…Jimin.”

Jimin lifts his head with wide eyes, innocent expression on his face as he cutely questions Taehyung’s sudden call out, “Huh?”

“What’s um, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on…” Taehyung smiles at his best friend. “You’ve beat yourself up long enough, don’t you think?” 

Hoseok reaches for Jimin, palm flat against his back as his starts to rub it. “Yeah, dude.” 

Jimin looks at his friends, eyes dancing around the tent and he sees their eyes. They’re filled with concern…hope…and maybe endearment. His eyes land on the bottle in Jungkook’s lap and he points at it, laser focused. “Gimme.”

Jungkook wastes no time in passing Jimin the bottle.

Jimin wraps his lips around the bottle they’ve been sharing, the last drops remaining sliding down his throat. He’s quiet, still feeling the eyes of his friends on him. He’s thinking. The same thoughts that have been swarming for a little while. He knows his own answers. Small smile begins lifting his lips before he raises his head and locks eyes with each of his friends.

“Yeah, dude.” Jimin repeats Hoseok’s words. His expression alone tells his friends everything they need to know. 

Hoseok rubs his back for only a moment longer before the softest most genuine smile begins growing on his face, love and pride filling his veins. Hoseok glances around the tent, all the boys forming their own smiles. And Hoseok spills the words they’re all thinking so slowly and intentional. “Boys night.” He says calmly and quietly. 

Jimin nods his head, grin growing. “Boys night.” 

“…Boys night. Boys night. Boys night.” Jeremy starts chanting and then Taehyung joins him. “Boys night! Boys night!” The voices inside the tent gets louder and louder. 

“Boys night!” Jungkook joins with pure excitement. 

Just a small tent under the moonlight, surrounded by trees, is quite possibly the manliest men. Well, according to them.

Present Day

Watching one of your best friends walk down the aisle to join hands with one of your other best friends and seeing them smile all giddily with glossy eyes as they vow to one another about a long life of love is surreal. You and Hoseok are probably the most emotional ones here at this entire venue. You don’t even know how you’re going to handle Hoseok’s wedding one day and he’s thinking the same about you. 

Naomi and Jeremy seal the deal with a sweet kiss and everyone’s going wild, clapping and hollering for the two lovebirds. You were nervous for no reason earlier when you watched yourself in the mirror, reflecting on the last year—the wedding has been perfect. 

Once the ceremony ends, the night continues on to the reception. A big place. Open bar. Dance floor and round tables with beautiful decorations scattered around. Families joined, friends gathered and love so thick in the air. 

Taehyung is walking through the lively crowd of people of friends and family as he grips the drink he just got from the bar. He sees you and Jimin chatting in the distance, your bodies close together, laughing and touching so innocently. Dummies, he thinks to himself as he smiles. He wants nothing more than for the two of you to have this kind of day of your own. But he’s also wishing he could imagine this kind of day for himself as well. In his dreams, because he thinks he is officially giving up. He even sees Jungkook in the distance flirting with a cute girl. 

“When will it be my turn?!” He mocks himself, groaning out loud, not even realizing his own volume. 

“Please.” A feminine voice suddenly can be heard. “That’s what I’m asking.” 

Taehyung’s eyes lower to a girl sitting down at the nearest table to him, she lifts her drinks in some sort of depressing cheers. “Want to take a seat at the losers table?” She asks him with a playful smile. Taehyung looks around the venue before shrugging and taking a seat.

“Trust me, no one is more loser than me.” Taehyung mumbles, taking a sip of his drink.

“You sure?” The mystery girl raises a brow in a challenge. “This is my eighth wedding this year.” She counters confidently, “Imagine having that many friends in love?! I set up half of them. I deserve a fairy tale too.” She pouts before taking a sip of her own drink. 

“God, I know exactly what you mean!” Taehyung nods his head enthusiastically, “My friends all make fun of be for being the biggest believer in soulmates yet they all have one but me?! Make it make sense?!” 

“Unbelievable!” The girl shouts, egging him on with her own woes. “Maybe we’re meant to die alone.”

“I’m starting to think so.” He agrees before taking another sip.

“Love is this magical thing and we will never know.”

“It’s literally the best thing to exist!” Taehyung shouts, “Right?!”

“Hallelujah, amen.” The girl sighs before they clink their glasses together in some depressing cheers. “Why aren’t there more people like us? We deserve it the most!”

“Exactly!” Taehyung starts getting more riled up. “Where is my me?! And where’s your you?!”

“Someone like us?” The girl shakes her head, expressing how impossible that is. “They obviously don’t exist. As if we would meet anyone who share our ideals.”

“Fucking exactly, my dude.” Taehyung takes another sip. 

“It wouldn’t happen,” She drags out her words, completely believing them. Excited to know someone she can share this pain with. “We would never meet…” She says the words slowly, blinking at nothing before she turns her head towards Taehyung. Her eyebrows start to furrow and he gazes back at her, his own brows pinching together as realization starts hitting them both. 

“…Wait…a…minute…” They both say slowly in unison as their eyes narrow at one another. 

They keep staring and staring before Taehyung quickly shakes his head and he laughs, “No…that…that can’t be.” 

“Of course not!” The girl rushes to say as well, “That’s ridiculous! We just met.” 

But then Taehyung narrows his eyes again, “…But what if…”

“Yeah…I mean…” She looks at him suspiciously as well. But then Taehyung snorts.

“We don’t even know each other’s names this is,” Then he suddenly becomes serious. “Taehyung.” He extends his hand out and she takes it immediately.

“Marisol.” 

“…Nice to meet you.”

“…Likewise…” She keeps her hand in his palm and they take a moment to gaze at the other.

“Did you feel that?” Taehyung suddenly asks.

“If you’re talking about the bolt of fucking electricity when our hands touched then hell yeah.” 

“…Are we…”

“…Soulmates?” She finishes the question. 

They stare at each other again and then they both let go on each other’s hands as they start cracking up, heads shaking at the idea.

“God, that’s so ridiculous.” Marisol waves him off before reaching for her drink again.

“For real.” Taehyung laughs alongside her. “Anyway,” He raises his glass towards her. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, fellow loser.” She brings her glass to her lips as they lock eyes, both smiling as they drink. 

~

You can hear lively dance music in the distance as you finish drying your hands in the venues bathroom. You open the door to exit when you run into someone. Like, literally. 

“Sorry, I—” You pause, eyes wide as you eye the girl you just bumped into before you’re grinning. “Lucy?”

“y/n!” Lucy squeals in excitement.

“Wow,” You eye her over, “I almost didn’t recognize you.” You say, she sheepishly tugs at the ends of her hair. Her blonde hair looks a couple shades lighter and her once long locks have been completely chopped off. Her hair curls right below her chin now. 

“Wanted something new.” She admits cutely. “But I’m so happy I ran into you! The ceremony was so beautiful, oh my god, I cried a little, I won’t lie!”

“Girl, you’re telling me.” You chuckle.

“So how are you?” Lucy asks, “I’ve really missed you guys.”

“I’m good.” You smile at her. “We miss you too. Are you doing well?”

“More than that.” She admits, “You’ll never believe it…but I’ve been offered to study below a pretty big deal designer in Paris for 6 months. I’ve accepted…I leave in November.”

“What!” You quickly bring her in for a hug. “That’s awesome, Lucy!”

“It is.” She says in your chest. “Things are good.” 

You pull away from her, “I’m happy for you. Truly.”

“Thanks.” She grins,  goofy smile on her face that you haven’t seen in so long. “Anyway, I really got to pee! Catch you later, girl.” 

“See ya!” 

You watch as she disappears in the bathrooms and you feel your heart glowing. Despite everything…you’ve always just wished her well. You’re glad it’s come true. 

You walk down the hall, your short heels clicking against the tiled floors and you follow the sound of music into the main area. And just when you thought you were done running into people…

“Well, well, well.” Min Yoongi. “If it isn’t a pretty stranger.” He shows you an adorable smile before you’re laughing and giving him a hug. “Namjoon and Emiko are right behind me.” He tells you, you both look behind and you see the two approaching. 

“Namjoon!” You feel your lips spread into a wide smile. He looks as handsome as he ever has. His smile grows on his own face and it’s the one you’ve always known—that genuine fucking smile. 

“y/n.” He says your name with ease, “You look great.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You tease him before you’re being scooped into a firm hug. “And Emiko, you look gorgeous.”

“Wow,” She blushes, fingers brushing back her black, silky hair. “Thank you. You do too!” 

“I’m glad you guys were able to make it.” You tell them all. “Have you said hi to everyone else?”

“Yeah, not too long ago.” Namjoon says. “I’m glad those two finally got together.” He laughs as Yoongi nods along with a smile. “Being reunited with everyone has been a gift.” 

“We feel the same.” You tell him honestly. “Anyway, I’m sure they’re wondering where I’m at. I’ve felt my phone vibrate at least ten times since I’ve slipped away to the bathroom.”

“I’m guessing we can all assume its Hoseok.” Namjoon chuckles.

“Naturally.” You playfully roll your eyes. “It was great seeing you guys though. Let’s all dance later!” 

“Sure.” Emiko grins at you. 

And then you’re walking off to find the rest of your friends.

“Going to use the bathroom, be right back.” Yoongi tells Namjoon and Emiko.

“Sounds good.” Namjoon waves him off, then he catches Emiko’s eye. “What?”

“Nothing.” She sings out. “I was wondering how’d you react when seeing her.” She teases him, “Do you think her and that guy are together?”

“Jimin?” Namjoon raises a brow, “Hmm, I don’t know.”

“You aren’t upset about it?”

Namjoon chuckles at this, “Why would I be?” He smiles at her. “I’ll defend her love decisions!” 

“That so?” Emiko continues to tease.

“Ah, she went on a date with me the day she saw Jimin again for the first time in five years. You know, I bet a whole book could be made about her and that situation.” He laughs, “Maybe I should write it.”

“Going to venture into a new genre?” Emiko giggles, “Okay, what would their book be called? Something like ‘Still in love’” She jokes but Namjoon thinks about it thoughtfully.

“No…” he ponders, “Maybe something like ‘Love Again’ instead.”

“Oh, cute.” Emiko nods her head. “Okay, if we had to have a romance novel about the two of us what would it be called?” 

Namjoon’s eyes expand slightly before he’s titling his head. “Huh?”

“A good title would probably be ‘Oblivious’ hm?” She continues to joke and tease. Namjoon stares at her for a moment. He’s not as oblivious as she’s making him out to be so he smiles before responding.

“Or maybe something cheesy like, ‘First Love’” He tells her with a dimpled grin. But she just drops her smile slightly, blinking at him slightly confused.

“Ah, that phase I had back in like middle school where I ‘hated’ you? I didn’t actually think you had cooties.” He chuckles, “I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to handle his feelings. Kids, you know?” Namjoon shrugs and Emiko stares at him while blushing. “But I like to think I’ve matured since then.” 

“W-What—”

“Alright, I’m back!” Yoongi walks between them, “Should we get some drinks now?”

~

“Oh my god, can you believe it?” You lean against Hoseok’s body, swaying into your best friend before he’s wrapping an arm over your shoulder.

“Believe what?” He grins, “That our best friends are all grown up?”

“Exactly. Can you believe we had no idea these two were going to get together?”

“Honestly, I’m still in shock.” Hoseok laughs loudly, “All they did was bicker!” 

“According to everyone it was sexual tension.”

“Literally there was nothing sexy about it.” He deadpans and you burst into laughter.

“God, I am so glad we agree.” 

You two are leaning against a cold, metal railing that overlooks a calm pond. There’s a few tables set up outside but everyone’s indoors, dancing the night away. You and Hoseok found yourselves outside, enjoying the cool late September breeze, escaping the inside crowd.

“Well, if it isn’t the two most important people in the world.” You hear Naomi’s voice from behind you and Hoseok. “What are you two doing out here?”

“Escaping.” You say, sticking your tongue out.

“Hell yeah. Us too.” Jeremy grins, “Can you believe those people in there? So much energy.”

“Pretty gross, if you ask me.” Naomi giggles, “I wish everyone could have agreed to take a nap before getting this party started.” Naomi and Jeremy stand on either side of you and Hoseok. All of you leaning against the railing, eyes on the water. 

“Should we ditch this lame party and have a movie night instead?” You tease.

“God, only if we watch a horror movie so Hoseok can entertain all of us.” Naomi joins in.

“You guys are assholes.” Hoseok complains as he knocks his hip into yours.

“Oh come on, Hobi, we love you.” You knock back into him. “Hurry, tell us you love us back.”

“Not sure you guys deserve my love.” 

“Bruh.” Jeremy whines. “I didn’t even say anything!”

“Fine, you have my love, Jer. But the two of you are on thin ice.” Hoseok looks as you and Naomi before you’re all laughing. “But really…I do love all of you. Feels like an appropriate day to be cheesy.”

“Agreed.” You smile, eyes still on the pond. “This is life, huh?”

“What else would it be?” Jeremy snorts. 

“You know what I mean.” You turn your head to glare at him but then you soften. “We’re at the part of life where things grow and change. It’s natural to grow apart too.” You say more quiet, “We will probably see less and less of one another. Get busy with so many things. Life, you know?”

“I guess you aren’t wrong.” Naomi mumbles. “As sad as it sounds.” 

“Yeah…” Hoseok agrees softly, his arm tightening around you as his other arm goes around Jeremy. “We’re still family though.”

“Always will be.” You say.

It’s quiet between the four of you for a few minutes, everyone staring out into the world, moonlight shining over the pond as you all soak in this moment you’re sure you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives. 

“Wait…” You suddenly blurt.

“Huh?” Hoseok glances at you, “What’s up?”

“Yo.” You look at your friends, “We’re literally stuck together dudes. Less and less my ass! We are stuck with each other Monday through Friday, bitches!”

“Oh shit.” Hoseok suddenly grins, “That’s so true.”

It’s quiet for another moment before you’re all dancing in your spots and collectively yelling, ‘Ayy!’

“We’re in this shit until retirement, huh?” Naomi smiles so hard her face hurts. 

“No doubt.” Jeremy agrees, “And in this economy? Might be forever.”

“I guess I could do forever with you guys.” You laugh.

It’s quiet again until Naomi detaches herself to look at the three of you more seriously, a delicate fondness in her eyes. “But seriously the four of us…” Naomi pauses because her voice cracks a little and she starts laughing at how ridiculous she feels for getting emotional. But you just smile at her, nodding along because you completely understand.

“Yeah.” You say simply because you get it and so do the guys. 

~

It’s been one magical night. You feel happy and loved and grateful. But you have no idea that the most important part of this day has yet to happen. Your friends have gone back inside, Hoseok being challenged by Dae for a dance off and Naomi and Jeremy explaining they should probably socialize with their guests. 

You’re taking this moment to just breathe this late September air and watch how the moon grows brighter. 

“Hey.” You jump a little at the sudden sound of Jimin’s voice. “Whoops,” He chuckles softly, eyeing you over. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Jeez, Jimin.” You throw a hand over your heart. “Warn me next time.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” He smirks at you, “You must have been pretty lost in your head to not have heard me come out here.”

“Not lost.” You smile. “Admiring this beautiful night.”

“Ah,” He comes closer to you, standing by your side before he’s looking out over the water. “It is a beautiful night.” 

“Mhm.”

“Wow,” Jimin turns to face you, looking offended. “That was your cue to tell me I’m beautiful! Drunk you would have done it.”

You laugh at this, “Well, I’m not drunk. So I guess you’re out of luck.”

“Damn, and I thought I had pretty good luck.”

“Maybe another time.” You tease him, playfully bumping into his side. “We haven’t really gotten to talk the last few days since we’ve been so busy with wedding stuff.”

“Trust me, I’ve felt your absence.” Jimin admits, voice soft and low. 

You stare ahead at the water, gulping because his words somehow always affect you so stupidly. Your heart is already pounding in your chest and it makes you feel silly. “Have you now?” You finally ask, voice calmer than you thought you could manage.

“Of course.” Jimin responds, “Is it not obvious that I’m incapable of living without you?” He asks but it sounds like a harmless joke. “If it’s not obvious what can I do to make it that way?” He turns his head to gaze at you. “What kinds of things should I say or do?” He asks lowly, voice smooth and charmed. 

You meet his eyes and try to swallow the anxious lump in your throat. “I don’t know.” You chuckle awkwardly, “Isn’t saying it just like that enough?”

“Hmm.” Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “Is it enough?” 

“I-I don’t know.” You say again. 

“You do know.” He steps a little closer to you, “You’ve been…”

“I’ve been…?”

“Amazing.” He says in one breath. “But that word doesn’t even feel like enough.”

“Oh?”

“y/n…I’m okay.” He decides to say, his eyes on yours, barely even blinking. “I’m okay.” 

“What do you—”

You stop when Jimin turns his head to face the water again, a deep sigh leaving his mouth before he’s swallowing a lump in his own throat. “I want to tell you…” He begins, voice shakier than before. “That I am finally the man I need to be for me…because,” He pauses. “Because I’m the man I want to be for you.” 

You stare at him, speechless, eyes on his side profile, trying to process what he’s saying. 

“I don’t have that darkness eating at me anymore.” He spills truthfully, “I only see light.”

Of course he does, you think. You blink at him, still rendered speechless. 

“So much light.” He swallows.

Of course there’s light. Because he deserves the fucking sun.

Jimin turns to face you again, eyes glassy and a smile so heartwarming you might melt right here, your liquid body dripping into the pond.

“I can’t not be with you anymore.” He admits, breaths heavier as he tries to come up with more to say. “If you’re ready then—”

Finally, after this long year…you are feeling his plush lips against yours as you lean into him with your rushed kiss. He’s surprised for only a moment. His eyes slowly shutting as he kisses you back, hands feeling your waist when he pulls you in closer. But the kiss falls apart quickly, your emotions bubbled over, all you can do is exhale into his mouth before you’re leaning away with teary eyes on his.

“You-you’re okay?” You ask, hands going to his face, cupping his cheeks tenderly. “You’re okay?” You ask again, voice cracking.

Jimin’s bated breaths are hard to miss. He tries to smile for you, his own emotions spilling. “I’m not okay, y/n. I’m good.” 

“You are?” You ask, in an almost pleasant disbelief. “Do you still—”

“Love you?” He chuckles, sniffling a little before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your lips. “With all my heart. We’re fated.” 

You laugh, despite wanting to cry. “Cheesy.” You push him back playfully, “You sound like Taehyung.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Jimin rubs his hands on your waist.

“God, not at all. He might be the best one of all of us.” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “He is our soulmate, after all.”

“Don’t let him hear that, we will never hear the end of it.” You giggle, hands still cupping his cheeks. “I also love you, by the way.”

“I know that.” Jimin brushes his nose against yours, “You’re going to love me again and again.”

“Forever.” You confirm. “So…”

“Hm?”

“I’m pretty sure we could leave if we wanted.”

“Oh could we?” Jimin leans further into you again, his lips pressing over yours as he smiles. “You going to let me take you home, baby?”

“Going to let you take me anywhere.” You reply, voice laced in silk now.

“Paradise.” He says, “Going to take you to paradise.”

~

God, you don’t think you’ve ever known another tongue like this. Wet and delicious, sliding up your inner thigh, teeth nipping the fragile skin. Your fingers dig into your sheets, the soft material not enough to handle the violence you’re unleashing on them. You’re not convinced you can make it out alive. Not with a man promising paradise, promising heaven. 

Jimin’s got a thumb spreading the tops of your folds, exposing the place that promises your sinful death. He only admires your heat, arousal dripping to your mattress and he takes a mental picture. He wants to remember your pretty pussy like this—before he ruins it. 

“We don’t have to take our time, Jimin.” Your hand goes to the top of his head, fingers threading through his hair before you tug it. “I’m so desperate for you.” 

“I love those kinds of words, babe.” Jimin kisses the inside of your thigh, dark eyes on you. “You can say whatever words you want…but that won’t change what I do with you. But I encourage it, it just makes me harder.” He tells you, his hips rutting against the mattress. “Say you’re desperate. Talk about how badly you need my cock inside you or you might die. Go ahead,” Another kiss, but this time closer to your core. “Say it so I can get so hard that I come all over your sheets, baby.” 

“Jimin…” You whine his name and he only smiles at you, sly and forbidden. 

“Look at you.” He mocks you sweetly, “Looks like you’re going to fucking fall apart just from this.” 

Your chest is heaving. He isn’t wrong. You probably do look like that since that’s how it feels. You’re so fucking sensitive, you’re so fucking pathetically sensitive. 

“I could suck your clit for 30 seconds and I bet you’d fucking shake from a quick, pathetic orgasm, huh?” Jimin teases, his tongue poking further from his lips. He keeps his eyes on you when he finally uses it. Uses his tongue in the place that’s going to kill you. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” You breathe roughly, body tense from how insane you’re going. He stares up as you, eyes with flames burning inside. He presses his tongue against your core, a ridiculous but perfect amount of pressure as he drags it up towards your clit. You’re not going to survive and you sure as hell aren’t going to last.

Jimin, using that same amount of pressure, circles his tongue expertly, making you cry out. Making you want to scream. And he does what he teased you with…he wraps his luscious lips around your sensitive nub and he sucks on it. Your legs immediately react, heels of your feet digging into Jimin’s back. He groans into your cunt, sucking while his tongue fucks you into another reality. 

He said 30 seconds but you cannot even confidently say it’s going to be that much…you’re feeling like this is the first time. First time you’ve ever been touched. First time you’re being introduced into a new world of overwhelming pleasure. You’re moaning, high, low, whimpers, whines and everything in between. 

And then you gasp, heels digging deeper into his back when two thick fingers push inside your entrance. 

“Oh, fuck.” You cry out, eyes slamming shut even though you want to watch him. Those two fingers curl and explore…and you cannot keep this impending explosion of pleasure at bay any longer. Fingers tugging at Jimin’s hair, you cry his name over and over until you feel yourself get hit with a rush of heat. Fire trialing across your entire body as this orgasm hits you in waves. 

Jimin lets you use his face to ride it out, your moans a melody to this rhythm. When you’re finally relaxing, Jimin backs away, satisfied, sinister grin on his face. When his fingers leave your dripping hole, so does your sanity.

“What did I say?” Jimin crawls up your body, voice taunting. “You’d be shaking from an orgasm that you so pathetically welcomed.”

“Because I’m so desperate for you, Jimin.” You pant, completely worn and out of breath.

“Keep up the desperation, baby.” He strokes his cock, “Because I have yet to fuck you.”

“No condom.” You moan, “Fuck it. No condom.” You tell him again, “I’m good about my birth control…fuck me with nothing between us.”

“You just want my cum filling you up, don’t you? God, you’re so dirty, baby.”

“Yeah.” You nod, your fingers going down to his member, stroking his length yourself. His eyes roll to the back of his head at the contact. “Need your cum inside me, want to feel it dripping out, want to feel the evidence of your pleasure mixing with mine.”

“That’s something a slut would say, baby.” Jimin’s hips jolt forward when you squeeze the head of his cock. “Is that what you are for me, hm?”

“Find out.” Your breaths are erratic, smile on your lips as you guide his cock to your core. Jimin allows you to tease the tip of his dick, the swollen head dipping into your hole, stretching you with every little push.

“More.” Jimin is the one begging, “Let me push inside more.”

“Yeah.” You nod frantically, whines leaving your mouth. “Bury yourself inside me.”

Jimin’s hands go to your hips as he concentrates on sliding further into you, inch by inch slowly disappearing as your pussy sucks him in. “Yeah, fuck.” He pants, body falling further on you, his face hovering above yours. “This is how I’m going to fuck you, yeah?”

“Mm, yeah.” You cry, his cock finally fully inside, his pelvis meeting yours. “Move.”

Jimin says nothing, he just pulls his hips back, his length brushing your insides before he’s thrusting back in. He’s breathing so heavily as he starts repeating these motions. Your fingers are now clawing at his back, he groans right in your ear at the slight pain he feels from your nails. But he doesn’t hate it. 

“More.” You beg, “More, more. Fuck, Jimin, more.” 

He’s motivated. Hips slapping against yours, fucking you properly now. He’s pushing in and out, forcing his hips to grind into you with such depth and precision. He’s feeling the tightness in his balls and he’s struggling to keep his sounds from sounding so incredibly pitiful. And it is so fucking sexy to your ears. 

“Jimin, fuck…” You whimper, “I’m going to come again…from this alone, god, I’m going to come…I’m so cl—”

“Yeah?” Jimin starts fucking you harder. “Thank god. The way you’re squeezing me, baby…” He can’t finish that sentence…your walls close in on him as you feel the high of pleasure possess your body. You’re entire body is tensing, back arching and Jimin can’t control it when his cock reaches the end and he’s in euphoria. He’s coming. Hot cum creating art inside you. 

You’re both panting, you’re both moaning, crying, sinning beyond repair. You’re both in the paradise he promised. 

“Shit,” Jimin collapses, trying his hardest not to crush you. “My love…” he kisses your neck, “I fucking love you, you know that?” He whispers. “This is day one.”

“Yeah?” You smile, breaths still erratic. “Good. I love you too.” 

~

“What time is it?” You murmur sleepily, pointer finger tracing little patterns on Jimin’s chest.

“Maybe like 3am.” He tells you softly, “You want to sleep?”

“No.” You chuckle. “But also yes.”

“You know,” Jimin sinks deeper into the sheets, body twisting so he can face you, eyes on yours. “Life is crazy.”

“For sure.” You say, lips curving up. “Everything happens for a reason though, right?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Fate or whatever.”

“Mm,” You nod. “I guess so.”

“You know how Mr. Smith left me the theatre?” Jimin gazes at you, softness in his features.

“Yeah?”

“I found a good person to sell it to.” He informs you, “He would like this guy.”

“Oh.” You blink at him in slight surprise. 

“I’m going to use the money to buy a house.” Jimin scoots closer to you, soft breaths hitting your lips. “How does that sound?”

“You’re asking me..?”

“Mhm.” He pecks your lips. “A home for us. We know we’re good at living together already,” He chuckles, “Been there, done that and what not.”

“Right.” You laugh, pecking his lips as well. “Might as well do it again.”

“Yeah, how do you think that sounds?”

“Sounds like fate.” Your hand goes to his cheek, thumb brushing against his smooth skin, “And you know what they say about it.”

“What?”

“It works pretty funny.” 

“You have no idea.” He grins once more before kissing you again and again. 

Well, maybe you’ve had an idea all along.

[daechwitatamic]

VI. Don't Think About Him || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

You try - and fail - to figure out who and what you want.

Section Warnings: excessive drinking, bar scenes, language, kissing, groping, maybe grinding idk

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday October 28th

Fire burns low in the hearth, but my feet itch and beg to go, into the night where the wolfpack hunts, into the storm of wind and snow.

I can hear only their hunting song. The blizzard steals from me my sight. I have no map to traverse this land, But I peer wistfully into the night.

The wolves, the storm, the wild land, Even still I must decide. I know despite the dangers, I can’t afford to stay inside.

“That’s fucking terrible,” you mutter, closing your book and scooting it away from you in disgust. “Wolves? Am I fourteen? For fuck’s sake.”

Still, it does touch on how you feel: like proceeding forward will result in you getting ripped to metaphorical shreds - but staying here, stuck in the familiar just because you’ve deemed it safe, would somehow be worse.

“Talking to yourself?” someone asks, and you jump with a shriek. 

“Namjoon!” you scold, as you register that it’s him in the doorway. “I thought you weren’t home for a few more hours!”

He crosses the room and tosses his bag onto his bed. “Yoongi has a lead foot.”

“How was it?” you ask mildly.

Namjoon wiggles his head, indicating both good and bad. “The brewery was really fun,” he says. “And it was nice for us all to hang out and talk at the house. We all used to dorm together… it’s been weird not living in the same place as them. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

This makes you smile. You’d been to that dorm once or twice, but you’d refused to hang out with Taehyung there because… well, dudes are stinky. And you’re not a clean freak by any means, but it was a little gross over there. 

“Well it was lonely and boring here,” you report. “I’m glad you’re back.” 

You’re instantly unsure if that was too forward, too much. Namjoon going away the literal day after you’d kissed him had given you plenty of time to think in private, but it had also given you room to sow doubts in your own mind. But Namjoon smiles shyly, pleased, so cute it makes your toes wiggle.

“I’m glad to be back too,” he says. “I’m gonna go shower and unpack. Have you made plans for dinner yet? We could order later?”

You hadn’t, but you have a feeling Taehyung will want to hang out after two days away. “I have plans,” you lie, figuring it will end up being true. 

“Ah, no problem then,” Namjoon says easily, and heads into his room, closing the door behind him with a little wave. 

You text Taehyung - “welcome home!! dinner later?” - and get up to start some laundry. By the time it’s done washing, and drying, and you’ve folded it, he still hasn’t answered. 

You try again - “hello??? this is y/n, looking for signs of life???”

This time, the response is almost immediate. 

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

In the end, you walk to campus alone, eating by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria. You’ve splurged on ordering too much lately when these meals are built into your tuition. Besides, you don’t want Namjoon to know that your “plans” fell through. 

Friday November 2nd

Angel on the right… Devil on the left… 

You look side to side, conflicted. Such a strong case for each. 

“Are those for tonight?”

You jump, spinning away from the two Halloween costumes you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s not like Namjoon to come over to your side of the apartment; in fact, you’re not sure he’s ever talked to you while you’re in your own room. It’s usually you going over to his door to bother him, if you aren't both in the living room or kitchen. 

“Yeah,” you say. “I can’t decide. You’re coming?”

“I think we all are, except Yoongi,” Namjoon tells you. “I’m going as a detective. I have a magnifying glass and everything.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to see that. Any thoughts on which way I should go tonight?” You mean the costumes. You’d texted Taehyung for his opinion and he’d returned with, “flip a coin”. You’re not sure why you expected anything else from him. 

“I think that’s going to depend on your mood,” Namjoon teases. “How are we feeling today? Naughty or nice?”

You raise your eyebrows. Was that… outright flirtation? “What if I’m feeling both?” you ask.

He laughs. “You need one of those half-and-half costumes. I’ve seen them in the stores.”

You have too, but you think they’re cheesy. “I think I’ll go devil,” you muse, a finger on your lips as you consider. “The angel wings are pretty cumbersome. And the bars are going to be slammed.”

“Naughty it is.” Namjoon flashes you a grin and disappears from your doorway, throwing over his shoulder, “No complaints from me!”

You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the giggle. Well this is new, and damn, you want to keep playing. 

You Uber together to the first bar of the town’s Halloween pub crawl, the guys waiting for you outside. Taehyung howls in laughter at Namjoon’s long coat, fedora, and magnifying glass. 

“I see the devil won the coin toss,” he says to you, grinning.

You roll your eyes, still a little peeved that he couldn’t take anything seriously, even when you needed him to. This was a trivial thing, but still. It wasn’t a lot to ask.

Jungkook hands you and Namjoon a flyer with a QR code - it listed the locations of each bar and what time the group would move, in case you got lost or missed the exodus. Inside, you have to pay to get wristbanded, but the wristband earns you special prices at each of the stops. 

“This does not go with my costume,” you pretend to pout, the bright yellow wristband glaring against your short, red dress.

“I think everyone will understand,” Namjoon teases. Taehyung appears on your other side, pointing out the little laminated sign that advertises this bar’s drink specials. 

“You two need to catch up,” he insists.

Three hours and two bars later, you think you’ve achieved this. You and Taehyung cling to each other’s arms, holding each other up, somehow taking turns being the one who needs help staying upright. The first two bars had offered specials on shots, but this one only has special offers for mixed drinks and beer. 

“Do we pay full price for shots, or do we let The Man tell us it’s time to settle down?” you muse loudly into Taehyung’s ear.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he tells you. “This is Halloween, not a hippie convention.”

“I see at least four hippies,” you sniff indignantly.

“I think you’re seeing double,” he counters. “No more shots for you.”

“You aren’t in charge of me!” you yell, and head for the bar at a clip, ankles crying for mercy in your heels. You grasp the bar in both hands when you get there, steady yourself, and then reach up to fix your horn headband, which had been starting to slide. You thought Taehyung was right behind you, but when you turn to look, he’s talking to a girl in a mermaid costume. 

Of course.

It’s fine.

The bartender finally catches your eye and you flash your wristband, indicating you’ll take the special. He nods, turns and picks up a bottle. A body settles beside you; you turn, expecting that Taehyung caught up, or maybe Jungkook stopped by for a beer. Instead, a guy you’ve never seen before smiles at you. 

He’s in scrubs, complete with a fake stethoscope (you think it’s fake, anyway) slung around his neck. His nametag reads Dr. Love. You laugh out loud. “That’s so corny,” you say, your filter well and gone for the night.

Luckily, he laughs too. “It’s sewed on!” he protests. “I honestly almost Sharpied it out, but I thought that would look even stupider.” 

He’s really cute, you notice. He looks… clean. Older. 

“You look…” he trails off, letting his eyes roam to your feet and back appreciatively, “phenomenal. Is there an angel wandering around here looking for you?”

You grin. “Just me.”

If Kim Taehyung can find a hookup everywhere he goes, why can’t you?

But as you lean against the bar and take a sip of your drink, your eyes scan the bar before you. In the mirrored wall behind the team of bartenders, you can see a slightly distorted view of the patrons and all of their costumes. 

Your eye catches on a detective. 

Namjoon’s eyes hold yours through the mirror, though he’s about six seats down from you. There’s a tiny smile on his lips as he sips at what looks like a beer. A smile that says maybe he should have expected this. It’s the same face he’s seen on you when Taehyung does exactly what he did tonight. 

Beside you, Dr. Love is asking you something, but you don’t hear him at all. You don’t want to be here, in this spot, anymore. You want to be six seats over.

“I’m sorry,” you say, interrupting him, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on your face. “I just found one of my friends, and I’d lost them. Enjoy your night, though!”

You slip away before he can protest more than a syllable, before you can really register the disappointment on his face and feel guilty about it. Better luck next time, Doctor, you think, as you make your way to Namjoon.

As soon as you’re close enough he extends an arm, making a space for you right next to him. His arm tucks you closer, protective. He walks with you towards the far end of the bar, where it’s marginally less crowded. Once you settle into a spot there, he doesn’t remove his arm. His fingers rest on your bare, body-glittered shoulder, moving imperceptibly now and then, as if they have their own agenda. 

“Are you having fun?” you ask him. 

“Loud bars aren’t usually my thing,” he answers. “But the costumes are great.”

There’s a lot of alcohol in your system; your filter’s taken a hit. “I like this,” you sigh happily, closing your eyes for a second. You think you sway on your feet a little. The arm around your shoulders tightens.

“Like what?” His voice has gone deep, and you shiver a little. You want to kiss him again; you’d blame the shots but you’ve been thinking about it since it happened. The drinks just make it louder.

“Your arm around me,” you tell him honestly, and he ducks his head, dimples appearing along with a blush.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “You’re drunk,” he accuses playfully.

“It’s a Halloween pub crawl,” you point out flatly. “I’m supposed to be drunk.”

“That’s a fair point,” he allows. Then, he peers at you through squinted eyes. “Are you okay, though? How drunk are you?”

You consider this. “Drunk enough that I want to kiss you again, to hell with the consequences. Not too drunk to remember that there would be consequences.”

The playfulness leaves his face; it’s too obvious not to notice. “Consequences like what?”

It’s a challenge. He knows you know it.

“Namjoon,” you say, a little pleading. Don’t. 

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

You feel like you want to cry. “Are you mad? About Taehyung?”

He softens. His fingers brush your shoulder again, absently. “No,” he admits, deflated. “No, I guess I’m not. But we both know that’s what you meant.” He removes his arm from your shoulders. It hangs listlessly at his side. You feel its absence painfully, like it had kept you tethered and now you might float away.

“Hey,” you say sharply, and reach for his hand. You miss and get his wrist, but you hold it like your life depends on it. He looks at you curiously. “I like you,” you tell him firmly. “A lot. I’m trying not to mess everything up - with anyone. But he’s my family, and if I lose him…” You take a deep gulp of air, trying to will your pulse to calm, your stomach to settle, your eyes to clear of stupid tears. “I have no one left. It feels… delicate,” you finish finally. You need him to understand. You wish you were better at explaining.

Namjoon twists his wrist from your grasp gently, but takes your fingers in his. “What about me?” he asks, voice a little pouty. “We aren’t delicate?”

You smile at him, relief giving you more of a high than anything else could right now. “No,” you say, and touch his chest lightly, just over his beating heart. You brush your hand down his chest, drop it to your side, and turn to stare out at the crowd. “No,” you say again, finishing the thought. “You aren’t delicate at all. You’re steady. That’s something I really like about you.”

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, tension building like a bassline, and then he gives a tug to the hand he’s holding. You turn back to look at him.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asks plaintively. 

You open your mouth immediately to answer, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t think about him when you answer that,” he commands seriously, fingers clutching yours so tightly it almost hurts. “Don’t think about anything else but you and me. What do you want?”

What do you want?

“I…” you start feebly, unsure how you’ll even finish the sentence. “I want…”

Jimin rushes up to you, breathless, grabbing both of your arms. Namjoon drops your hand like it’s burned him. If Jimin notices, he doesn’t let on. 

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

“Where are they?” Namjoon asks, quickly setting his beer glass on the bar and reaching for your drink too. You let him take it, eyes wide. 

“Taehyung grabbed Jungkook and ran - I think they’re outside. Have you seen Hobi? Or Jin?”

“Jin left with a girl two bars ago,” you supply, glad to be able to help. 

“I see Hobi,” Namjoon says, craning his neck to scan the crowd. “I’ll go get him. Y/N, go with Jimin, we’ll meet up outside.”

He moves without waiting for an answer, wading through the crowd in what must be Hobi’s direction. Jimin takes you by the hand - it feels much different than it had felt a minute ago with Namjoon - and leads you through the crowd hurriedly, dodging people left and right. You look over your shoulder as he pulls you, trying to find Namjoon in the sea of people, but you can’t.

Outside, Jungkook seems to be arguing heatedly with the bouncer. 

“Come on,” Taehyung is telling him, looking honestly pissed. “Let’s just go. The night’s already ruined, let’s just leave.”

You pull away from Jimin and head for Taehyung. 

“Hey,” you say softly, resting a hand on his arm. He turns on you, still furious, but you don’t waver. “Take a breath,” you tell him softly. 

His temper gets the best of him sometimes. 

He shakes his head, angry, but you see his chest move as he obeys anyway. A second later he says, more calmly, “Come on, Jungkook, we can even go somewhere else if you want. We won’t have fun here, that guy’s friends are all worked up in there.”

Jungkook relents as Hobi and Namjoon join you on the sidewalk. You slide your hand off of Taehyung’s arm, feeling weirdly guilty. 

“We rallying?” Hobi asks hopefully. “Or did we kill the buzz?”

“Rally!” Jimin cheers, going over and shaking a sullen Jungkook’s shoulder. “Come on! The night prevails!”

“I’ll go somewhere else,” Taehyung says. 

“I think I’m done,” Namjoon says, glancing at his phone for the time. “I’ll Uber from here.”

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, looking to you. For a second, you’re not sure why. Then you realize - you either have to Uber home with Namjoon, or opt to continue on with the rest of the guys. 

The angel whispers that you haven’t hung out with Taehyung as much lately. 

The devil whispers that you and Namjoon could be all alone.

0-2 for the angels tonight.

“I’m tired,” you say. “I’ll Uber with Namjoon. You guys have fun though. JK, try to keep it in your pants.”

He flips you off wordlessly, still sulking. 

They all tell you goodbye, Taehyung giving you an extra-tight squeeze with his hug, and they walk down the block to find another bar. You turn to Namjoon, who’s tapping at his phone to order a ride. 

What do you want? His question floats in your head. 

You don’t know. You want too much, too many things, too many contradictions. 

It seems like Namjoon knows, and forgives you. He silently holds out a hand, waiting. You take it, keeping it tight in yours, not letting go even as you slide into the backseat of the Uber, as it weaves through the neighborhoods until it stops in front of your building, as it drives away, leaving you lit in red taillights before vanishing around the corner.

You’re standing on the sidewalk in front of your building’s front door, Namjoon’s hand in yours, your eyes sleepy but your pulse racing. 

He tugs you towards the stairs, and you think he’s going to lead you inside. Instead he spins you and presses you back against the stone balustrade, one hand splayed across the middle of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you insistently.

You open immediately for him, giving a happy noise low in your throat. His spare hand, the one not holding you up off the rough stone below, grips the back of your neck for the barest of seconds before continuing down - rubbing patterns past your shoulder blade, the middle of your back, down to the dip of your waist, the swell of your hip, the meat of your ass. He’d better appreciate every curve, you squeezed into spanx for this dress. 

You grip at the lapels of his ridiculous detective coat, the earth spinning in circles around you in a blur. You’re aware of only where your hands bunch the fabric, of only where his teeth and lips and tongue clash with yours, of only the fiery path his hand traces up and down your body. You melt into his touch, wanting more, trying to pull him closer, trying to get lost in each sensation.

He breaks the kiss to nip a line of sharp nibbles down your neck. You whine, trying to give him more room. His hands come to rest on your ribcage, thumbs not quite reaching your chest, which has to be a conscious decision on his part. You can feel the cold night air on your thighs; your dress has ridden up. This snaps you out of the moment a little. 

“Namjoon,” you murmur, but it comes out a little whiny as he continues to nibble down near the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “We should go inside.”

He stills, then pulls away, eyes seeking yours for any signs of discontent. “Yeah,” he says finally, one syllable all he can handle. “Come on.”

He releases your body gently, letting you find your balance on the pavement. Then, he leads you up the stairs and inside. In the threshold of the apartment, you look at him, a question on your face.

“We’re both really drunk,” he says apologetically, reaching out to brush some stray hairs away from your face. “We should probably cool down a little.”

He’s right - you know he’s right. 

“Yeah,” you say, letting the front door close behind you. “Okay.”

You press one palm against the wall for balance as you fight with your shoes, sliding them off one at a time. 

Namjoon’s in his room, but the door hangs open. You pause in the doorway of your bedroom, realizing you have a problem.

“Um, hey,” you call across the living room, and he takes a few steps to come look at you. He’s lost the hat and the long coat, and his button-down is undone, revealing a tight, white undershirt beneath. “I promise this isn’t a come-on,” you say, biting back a smile. “But I legitimately can’t reach the zipper on this. Can you-?”

“Of course,” he says, crossing the living room. You turn your back to him, presenting the zipper. He gently sweeps your hair off of your nape and places it over your shoulder. You shiver, goosebumps rising along your arms, and you hear him hum a pleased noise at your reaction. You feel him fumble with the hook-and-eye at the top, and then the zipper sounds. He pauses halfway down your back.

“That good?” he checks. “You can reach that?”

“Yes,” you say, turning back to face him. He’s still got a bit of your lipstick on his mouth, and it makes you have to fight off a smirk. Down, girl. “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

He looks at you for a long minute, expression unreadable. Finally, he says, “Goodnight,” and steps back out into the darkness of the living room. When he gets to his room this time, he closes the door behind him with a soft click. You stare at the inch of light that comes from under his door for a minute before hurrying to close your own door against the dark.

Sunday November 4th

You spend most of Saturday in bed, heart and head both pounding, which means you have a lot of homework to cram in on Sunday.

After you shower and eat, you set up in the living room to get some work done. Namjoon’s door is halfway open, and you can hear the clacking and bass thumps that mean he’s writing in there. 

Midafternoon, he appears in his doorway, stretching widely. Your eyes skim the inch of stomach exposed with the stretch and then flick back to your page before he can catch you. 

“How’s it going?” he asks, heading into the kitchen. 

You twist your mouth, eyeing your laptop and the text spread open on your lap. “I guess it’s going. Sort of.” 

“What are you working on?” he asks.

“A paper for one of the bullshit general classes,” you tell him. “Which makes it more challenging, because I deeply do not care.”

He laughs at this, then plops onto the couch a few feet away from you, a water bottle in his hands. 

“How about you?” you ask. “It sounded like it was going well.”

“It was going okay,” he agrees. “I reached the end of a scene, so now I need to like… process, look at what’s coming next. I might take a short walk and let it marinate in my brain a little.”

You smile. “How come you never work out here?” you ask him, just curious. 

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

You flush, feeling your face heat up, and bite back a smile. “What if I refused to answer?” you offer. “I could just sit here like -.” You mime zipping your lips, still fighting a smile. For good measure, you lock it up and throw the key over your shoulder.

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

Your blush intensifies; you’re tempted to go stick your head in the freezer to cool your cheeks down. “I’ll turn around, then,” you tell him.

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

Your jaw drops. “Kim Namjoon!” you scold, but you’re giggling.

“I’m just being honest!” he defends, laughing deeply, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Anyway, why? Does it bother you that I stay in there?”

“No,” you say immediately. “You can do what you want.”

He gives you a knowing look, like he’s used to your bullshit and isn’t falling for it. When did that happen? “Don’t get prickly,” he warns. 

“Don’t compare me to plants,” you grumble. 

“Do you want me to work out here instead?” he asks gently, smiling at you like you’re adorable, which just sets your prickliness off even more.

“I don’t know what I want,” you retort.

There’s a long, stretchy silence as you both consider just how true those words are, on several different levels. 

Finally, Namjoon gives you a nod in goodbye and heads back to his room. 

This time, he closes the door gently behind him.

–

Taehyung invites you out that night, to see a movie you’d been talking about. You tell him yes, as long as you can go to the earlier showing. But then you start to feel… guilty. Unsure.

You want to ask Namjoon if he cares if you hang out with Taehyung still. He’s bothered by some aspect of your friendship, obviously, but you don’t know what it is. Is it only the fact that Taehyung is a bit of a barrier for you two? Or is he threatened by the whole friendship? 

You lay sideways across your bed in the fading late afternoon light, considering this. You imagine asking Namjoon. You think his answer would probably be, do what you want, I’m not your boyfriend. 

Which, fair. That conversation needs to come first. Are you together, do either of you even really want that? 

In the end, you don’t bring it up. When it’s time, you do your best to sneak out of the apartment, hoping to avoid any conversation about it at all.

Taehyung’s car idles on the street below, and you let yourself in the passenger side and buckle up. You’re anxious, you realize, as Taehyung starts complaining about an argument he had with Jimin back at their place. You’re afraid he’ll ask something that will lead the conversation to Namjoon, afraid that he’ll catch you tripping up, clue in that there’s something worth his attention there. 

You can’t lie to him. He knows this as well as you do.

That’s why he never asks you questions he doesn’t really want the answers to.

You’re anxious for nothing, because Taehyung talks about his own shit for the whole drive to the movies, and the whole time you’re in line for snacks, and for the whole time before the movie starts as you sit in the back row of the theater munching on overpriced popcorn.

But the movie is good, and you get pulled into the fictional world, and when the lights come on you find Taehyung’s arm casually over the back of your seat. You hadn’t even noticed it was there. 

“I can’t believe Jimin wouldn’t come see this,” Taehyung scoffs as you file out of the theater and back to the lobby. “That was so good! Just because he doesn’t like that one actor?”

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first. 

But, like Taehyung, you don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the truth. So you don’t ask. What would be the point?

You wonder during the drive home if you’d feel better talking to Taehyung about what was going on with you if the guy in question wasn’t his friend.

Maybe.

But only a little better.

Monday November 5th 

Unlike the Monday before, Namjoon leaves for campus without you on Monday morning. You aren’t sure if he’s upset with you, or if he just needed to be there early. You’re too cowardly to ask. 

You need some support.

If it’s not coming from your “best friend”, you’ll have to outsource. 

You trudge through your morning class, eat as fast as you can - alone - in the cafeteria, and head to the student center. You get to the store well before your shift starts. 

You aren’t allowed to clock in yet, so you kill some time doing reading for class in the stock room. The second your shift starts, you’re at the front registers, uncomfortably close to Kris’s personal bubble.

“Yes?” they ask you archly, eyeing your proximity suspiciously. 

“I… have a confession to make,” you say, your voice as quiet as you can make it. You’re barely moving your mouth, you’re trying so hard to not actually say these words. “There… has been… perhaps… some kissing.”

Kris is stunned into silence for the first time since you’ve known them. Eyes wide and jaw slack, they stare at you. Then, they clarify loudly, “By you?”

You growl in exasperation. “Don’t be cute.”

Kris beams. “Can’t help it, it’s ingrained in my DNA.”

“I need you to be just a tiny bit serious,” you tell them, “because I am having a full-blown crisis.”

Kris sobers instantly. “Wait,” they whisper. “Crisis? Explain.”

“I kissed…” you cast your eyes around the bookstore, making sure no one’s lurking, “...the one I live with.”

Kris gasps. “You did not! You kissed him? Not the other way around?”

“I did,” you admit, feeling yourself flush again. “Twice. Well, the second time he started it, if you want to get technical.”

“I do want to get technical,” Kris whispers, voice almost reverent. “I can’t fucking believe this. So, why the crisis?”

You take a deep breath. Which factor to start with? Because you don’t want to give up on Taehyung yet? Because you don’t want to risk altering that friendship beyond repair? Because you don’t know if Namjoon will be able to handle your best friend being a guy - a guy that you’ve had feelings for?

“Because I don’t know what I want,” you say, the simplest truth. “I can’t get my head straight.”

Kris cocks their head. “If you didn’t know Taehyung - if you removed him completely from the situation -.”

“Impossible,” you protest.

They hold up a finger to silence you. “If you removed him from the situation,” they continue over you, “would you want to pursue things with Namjoon?”

Guilt hits you like an ocean wave, tugging you down, down, down. “Yes,” you whisper, because that part is just true. There’s no wiggle room, no if’s. You like him. You want to see where it will go. If there were no chance of losing Taehyung in the mix, it wouldn’t be a question at all.

“Y/N,” Kris says insistently, leaning towards you. “You are not doing anything wrong here. Taehyung is your friend. Nothing else - and that’s his fault. You aren’t, like, betraying him by catching feelings for someone else. He can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him until you die!”

“He doesn’t expect that,” you say, still in a whisper, because suddenly your throat is tight in that way it gets when you’re upset. 

“You need to talk to Taehyung,” Kris tells you gently. You groan. “And the conversation should not be you asking for permission, either!” they continue, impassioned. “You need to tell him I’m seeing someone and you need to be okay with it.”

“But they’re friends,” you protest. “It’s so messy. I’ve never had messy before.”

“You’ve never had anything before,” Kris points out.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble. “Yes I have.”

“Nothing that mattered,” they correct. “Nothing with feelings.”

You slump onto the counter. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you,” Kris says airily. “If you don’t talk to them, this is all going to blow up in your face. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

“Why do you have to be right all the time,” you complain. Kris smiles beatifically.  

When your shifts ends, your feet take you not towards home, but towards the academic building where Namjoon’s “office” is. 

You’re thinking about your conversation about Kris; you’re thinking about the idea of fairness. 

It isn’t fair, as Kris said, for Taehyung to expect you to wait indefinitely for something that was probably never coming, to hold you emotionally hostage.

It isn’t fair for you to do the same thing to Namjoon - to keep him waiting, wondering, unsure if you’ll ever be completely in it. You know that’s the reason things have kept progressing so slowly between you. You’ve felt guilty letting it get any further, felt afraid of those damn consequences. And if you had to bet, Namjoon has been trying to wait for you to sort it out, to make the choice - to choose him. 

You can hear the low tones of his voice as you approach down the quiet hallway. Only the staff are normally back here, sometimes one or two students who need to speak to a professor, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic. 

You linger in the hallway, leaning against the wall and messing around on your phone, far enough away to not be able to tell what Namjoon and the student are discussing. When the student - a young guy who looks absolutely dejected as he passes by you - exits, you slip past him and lean against the doorway. Namjoon doesn’t notice you right away. It’s clear that his hours have ended and he’s packing up his stuff. When he does notice a body in the doorway, he jumps, inhaling sharply in alarm.

He slumps against the back of the chair when he registers that it’s you.

“I’m usually the jumpy one,” you giggle. 

He gives you a sideways smile as he leaves over his bag on the floor, messing with the clasp. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else. What are you - I mean, what’s up?” 

“What am I doing here?” you tease, catching his slip. You feel a little nervous, but you’re determined to do this correctly, to treat him better. “I came to see if you wanted to walk back together.”

Namjoon goes a little still, and you hurry to add, “It’s okay if you don’t! It didn’t make my walk longer or anything to come here first. I just thought I’d check.”

He lets you babble. He does as he’s been doing since the beginning - he waits you out with a patient smile. 

“So…” you finally finish, the nerves fluttering and hopping around your stomach. “Do you? Want to walk back with me?”

He stands, lifting his bag from the ground and hoisting it onto his shoulder. “Yes,” he says simply, giving you a tiny smile. 

You follow him down the narrow hallway, back down the stairs you’d climbed a minute ago, and outside. It’s a nice day - bright and sunny, chilly but not freezing. Campus is busy, and you have to people-dodge a little as you cross the main section, the crossroads of the two main paths. 

The second you cross through the front gate and step onto the city sidewalk on the other side, Namjoon silently reaches for your hand. It’s different from last time, in the rain - not urgent, not pulling. It’s gentle and tentative and, weirdly, somehow sensual the way his thumb runs over your knuckles as he glances sideways at you to see if you’re okay with this.

You give his fingers a tiny squeeze.

You walk together in silence for a few minutes, and then Namjoon asks you quietly. “How was your day? You had class this morning? Was it for Thesis?”

You smile up at him, happy to have someone to talk to about this. Kris would listen, you’re sure, because Kris is a good human, but they would much rather talk about romance. And Taehyung… it’s November, and Taehyung has asked you about your classes or your thesis exactly zero times. 

“No, not for my thesis,” you tell him. “Just a regular lit class. It was okay! I was so tired, I could barely stay awake… I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.”

He laughs. “Can’t imagine why,” he teases, voice going a little deeper. “I’m sure you were a perfect angel all weekend long.”

The joke - that you’d dressed as a devil - is not lost on you, and you grin up at him. “Clever,” you say.

He beams back, proud. “Sometimes,” he allows.

“How about you?” you ask. “Did you have class before your TA hours?”

“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Unfortunately, it was a research-based class.”

You groan in sympathy. “First thing on a Monday morning? Fucking ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m not much of a napper, but damn, I could use a nap.”

At the apartment, you decide to watch a show you’re in the middle of, and you settle on the couch with a throw-blanket over your legs. Namjoon appears in the doorway of his bedroom, looking at you a little balefully.

“Can I… do you mind if I read out here?” he asks.

You scramble to sit up a little making room on the other side of the couch. “You don’t need to ask,” you say, a little appalled that he’d felt the need. “You live here! I never mind, I promise.”

Appeased, he makes his way over and gets comfortable on the other side of the couch. It occurs to you that this is how you and Taehyung usually spend your time - on opposite ends of the couch - but you shove the thought away. 

You glance at him now and then as your show plays, and a few times you think you catch him watching more than reading. In between episodes, you notice his book face-down on his chest, rising and falling in deep, even motions. His head leans back against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids flutter as he dreams. 

Smiling a tiny smile, you fluff your blanket to cover his legs, and press play for the next episode.

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Thank you so much for being here!!!!! What did we think of what I lovingly call "the Halloween Pub Crawl Fiasco"?!

Section VII will drop on Friday, February 24th! I hope to see you there!!

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

Please Believe Me

August x POC!Reader, Andy Barber x POC!Reader

Wordcount: 2700

Summary:

The things you’ll do for the ones you love. Does it ever reach a point where it’s too much?

Warnings:

18+ MDNI, Smut, Sex Work, Seduction, Light BDSM, Possessive Sex, Jealousy, Bratting, Sassy

Notes:

Hello Heathens! I had August on the brain while listening to El Tango De Roxanne from the musical and how fun it would be to taunt him. And well this fic was born. Happy Reading!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Banner by @cafekitsune

“Fuck you.”  

“Now, now, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?”  

“I don’t think it’s harsh enough. You didn’t even consult me or how I might feel about the situation before agreeing to do it.”  

“I honestly didn’t think you’d have a problem with it seeing as you practically do the same thing for work.”  

“Of course I have a problem with it! At work I get to pick and choose who I take on. All people who are vetted for already. This, is not that August!”  

He cozy's up to me. One arm wrapped tightly around my waist as the other hand slowly caresses my face. “Come on love. I need to get this guy alone and vulnerable. What better way to do that than with your alluring ways. You won’t have to do any more than you already do for work. If we plan it right, you might even get to keep your clothes on.”   

“Low blow, Agent. Really, low blow.”  

“Agent. Damn, I seem to have struck a nerve. Come on, baby. Help me out. I promise to make it up to you. Without your help this can end up taking me far longer and possibly farther away as well. Please.” He places a feather light kiss to my neck for emphasis.  

I sigh. “Fine. But just the once. I don’t like being used as a pawn in your games. Work related or not August.” You release yourself from his grasp. “Promise me it will only be this once.”  

“I give you my word.”

What started out as what I thought was a vacation had quickly taken an unexpected turn. Here I was reluctantly helping August on a mission I was unaware was the reason he took me on this trip. He needed to get close to Andrew Barber. A lawyer by day with ties to the mafia, who apparently had some very sensitive intel provided to him from his client, that could be very bad for the organization if it were to get into the wrong hands. He needed to get into his hotel suite and secure the information. Returning it to his superiors before its ultimate destruction. 

I didn’t like that I was pulled into a mission by my boyfriend. My means of paying the bills, essentially being thrown in my face. So I decided, as a fuck you to my so called boyfriends deception, that tonight I would lean in on my skills as a sex worker far more than was required of me.

I make my rounds through the party a couple of times. Mingling with faces I am familiar with from other parties and new ones that seem eager to meet me. I take my time before I make my move. Could I have made it over to Andy sooner? Of course, I could. But I was drawing this out for as long as I could just to stick it to August.  

With a purposely over full glass of champagne I make my way over to Andy. Miss stepping on purpose and dropping my glass at his feet, as I cling to his shoulder to “break my fall”.  

“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry. These damn new shoes are just giving me the hardest time tonight.”  

“No harm done. My loafers can take it.” He pulls me away from the broken glass. “Let’s get someone to clean this up, so you don’t ruin this ravishing dress.”  

“That’s very kind of you...”  

“Barber. Andrew Barber.”  

“I thought you looked familiar. I’ve seen you at parties before. Never this far from home though. Or alone.”  

“I could say the same about you when it comes to being alone. A rarity to see you without a suitor on your arm.”  

“Perks of the job. But I am not at home and as such I am my own date tonight.”  

“Lucky me that you just so happened to crash into my orbit. Your name precedes you amongst the circles I run in.”  

“Word of mouth can be a dangerous thing. Expectations and all.”  

“I’ve heard you skins so sweet; you taste like cinnamon.” He nonchalantly states as he finishes his whiskey.  

“Is that so, Mr. Barber?”  

“I’ve been trying to schedule an appointment with you for a while now actually. The need to satiate my curiosity getting the best of me.” He places his glass on passing tray.  

“Guess you are a lucky man tonight after all.”  

“Would you do me the honors of dancing with me?”  

I place my hand in his offered palm. “Lead the way.”  

Under the light of the twinkling chandeliers, the grand ballroom comes alive with an air of elegance and enchantment. The music changes to a tango and I'm not surprised as the secret mobster leads me around the dance floor with grace and passion. Thank the gods that I am well versed in ballroom dance as our bodies intertwine in a sensual tango that seems to weave a spell over the now captivated audience.  

The way Andy is commanding my body would be concerning, if I weren’t here helping August. Who I am still mad at by the way. Why not making him suffer a little by upping the ante with his mark?  

As the sultry notes of the music fill the air, our movements flow like a graceful river. Fluid, passionate, and oh so irresistible. With each step, we exchanged whispers of desire. Our eyes locked in an intimate dance of their own. I am adept as seducing men, the girlfriend experience my main forte, though I was finding it far too easy to stare into those devastating ocean blues of his.  

I could imagine what kind of image we were giving the rich and notorious crowd surrounding us. My dress flowing around me, rich with hues of deep crimson, that clung to my curves. Andy with his cocksure, confident stance and sharp features exuding charisma.  

Every pivot and dip igniting sparks and evoking a deep yearning that resonated in the heart of one particular onlooker. In that moment, we transformed the dance floor into a realm of magic where time stood still.  

The world outside faded away to a green haze as August watched me so effortlessly captivate Barber with my whiles. The rhythm of our dance, the way in which Barber led me with grace and passion, combined with the electricity of your temporary connection, had his mind thinking all kinds of crazy things.  

“Would it be to forward if I invited you up to my suite to continue this somewhere more private?”  

“Seeing as I am not on the clock tonight, I don’t see a problem with it. Do you have any business or clients you need to tend to first?”  

“No. I was here tonight purely out of boredom and to show my face. I can’t wait to get out of here.”  

“Well then I guess we better get going then. A nightcap awaits us.”  

“Mmm. You read my mind.”

“I see you spared no expense on your stay Mr. Barber.” I surmise as I wander the living room of the lavish suite.  

“Please call me Andy. No need for formalities. You're already up here. Now what's your poison?”  

“You wouldn't happen to have any Glenfiddich on hand would you?”  

“A woman who knows good whiskey. You really are everything and more aren't ya sweetheart?”  

“Be out of a job if I wasn't.”  

“How do you take it?”  

“Straight. Two fingers. Sometimes three if the mood strikes.”  

He shakes his head and chuckles as he pours my drink. “I'll keep that in mind.”  

Handing me my drink he links his fingers through my free hand and leads me to the massive bedroom. Clearly ready to cash in on that tension we've been building.  

Hopefully August has already found his way into the suite and I won't have to take this much further. Although I might not hate it if I have too. Andy really is quite the charmer. And that beard. Whew.  

“Let's get you comfortable. That suit jacket looks like it needs a break. Your poor biceps must be suffocating.”  

Placing my drink on the nightstand, I take the initiative to unbutton his jacket. Smoothing my hands up his surprisingly fit physique and pushing it off his shoulders.  

“Now doesn't that feel better?”  

He pulls me into his chest. Placing his hand on the small of my back and pressing me against the rather large bulge in his slacks.  

“Much. But I must confess the shirt is starting to feel a bit stifling.”  

“Oh no. Best rectify that as well then.”  

“If you insist.”  

His fingers tease along the exposed skin the low back of my dress provides as I slowly undo each button. Revealing a rather sculpted chest underneath.   

I make sure to spin us so that Andy's back faces the closed ensuite bathroom to our left. I have a feeling that just may be where August has hidden himself.  

It is rather hard to hide such a large frame.  

I wonder how much longer he is going to let this go on before he makes his move. I know that look in Andy's eyes and things are on track to get rather steamy very shortly.  

“Do you know how badly I wanted to kiss you out on that dance floor and finally see if the rumors of your sweet taste are true?”  

“Why didn't you?” I run my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.  

“I had a feeling that once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop.”  

I smile sweetly up at him as he runs his thumb along my cheek bone. He closes his eyes and leans down, just has his lips graze mine he winces and grabs at this neck as he falls unconscious onto the mattress beside us.  

Now standing where Andy used to be is August. A not so happy August. I can see the tension in his shoulders as he caps and pockets a now empty syringe.  

“We are going to have a serious conversation when I am through getting what I need from him. You are skating on thin ice.”  

“I thought I put on a rather convincing performance.”  

“Too convincing if I do say so.”  

“You said you wanted me to use my skills of seduction. So that’s what I did. Seduce.”  

“You didn't need to look like you enjoyed it so damn much.”  

“If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were green with envy. But that can’t be right since it was you who put me in this situation in the first place. Knowing full well what I would have to do to get you what you needed.”  

“We’re tabling this discussion until I have retrieved what I need.”

The mission was successful and we have made it back to our own lavish hotel on the other side of the city.  

“Take it off.”  

“Take what off?”  

“The dress. His stench is all over it and all I can see is him touching you out on that dance floor. Take it off sunshine before I cut it off you myself.”  

“Holy shit. You actually were jealous. Who would have thought.”  

He slips a knife out of his belt and takes a step towards me, twirling it around his fingers. “Now is not the time to push me baby girl.”  

“Okay, okay. Relax, Auggie. I’ll take it off.” I slowly begin to disrobe.   

A growl emanates from his chest when he realizes that I have absolutely nothing on underneath my dress. “Bed. Now. Face down. Ass up.”  

No longer feeling the urge to tempt the beast further, I do as requested. With a sway to my hips and flourish to my movements of course.  

He removes his own suit. Leaving him clad only in his boxer briefs, that can barely contain his tantalizing girth within.  

He runs a hand down my spine. Stopping as he reaches the fat of my ass. “I am going to spank this delectable ass 10 times. 5 for enjoying your seduction of Barber too much and 5 for being bare underneath your dress in public without my knowledge. You are to count every slap. Understood?”  

“Yes, Sir.”  

“Good girl. Now tell me what your safe word is.”  

“Holiday.”  

“Remember, I will never strike you in anger. If you feel it becomes too much, you must use your safe word and everything stops. Understood?”  

“Yes, Sir.”  

“Let’s begin..” He rears his hand back and sends it flying. Striking me right on the meat of my left ass cheek, dead center.  

“One.” I gasp out.  

He pulls back and smacks on the exact same location on my right cheek.  

“Two”  

He alternates sides back and forth, covering the whole of my ass until he strikes both cheeks at once. I passed the pain to pleasure threshold smacks ago so with a moan I call out, “Ten!”  

“My good girl.” He rubs my heated flesh in soothing circles. “You took that so well. And you’ve made quite the mess of your thighs. It’s a downright mouthwatering sight.”  

He lowers himself off of the bed to his knees to get a better look. Groaning as he pulls my cheeks apart to watch my slit drip with rapt attention. He leans forward and begins to clean my thighs with his tongue.  

I barely have a moment to truly catch my breath, when his talented tongue glides along my lips and settles on my clit. I moan at the subtle suction, hips seeking out further friction.  

I can feel his growl more than hear it as he buries his face in my cunt and feasts on my flesh like it the ripest and sweetest fruit he has ever tasted. I give in to the pleasure of being so thoroughly devoured. It is not long before I am on the precipice of a pending orgasm.  

August knowing the cues of my body so well, has me at a disadvantage as gives a final lick up my folds and pulls away. I can’t help the whine that escapes as the cold air of his absence meets my dampened flesh.  

“Shh. It’s ok my sweet one. I’ve got you.”  

He peels his restricting boxer briefs down his thighs and lets them fall to the floor. Tossing them aside with his foot he steps forward, notching is aching cock against my quivering slit.   

He only waits a breath before pushing his hips forward. Impaling me in one smooth motion. The thickness of his girth combined with my sensitivity and how close I was to release have me coming undone as my walls stretch to accommodate him.  

His pace is unrelenting. A reclaiming of a body that already belongs to him. Savage and rough like the beast I know him to be. Extasy beyond compare.  

There is a sweetness hidden under his rough exterior. Even as he ravages my body. Something that I am one of the few in this life to glimpse upon. He places a gentle kiss to my spine. A moment of that sweetness before I feel his teeth clamp down onto my shoulder.  

Setting me off once more as he loses himself in the throes of his own powerful orgasm. Filling me to bursting with his seed. I go limp. Body lying pliant as I am blissfully engulfed in August's warmth and weight. Unable and uncaring to move after being so thoroughly destroyed.  

“One of these days I am going to knock you up good and proper. Then everyone will know who you belong too. I’ll let you enjoy practicing for now, while my workload is the way it is. But mark my words, you will be round with my child soon enough.”  

He kisses my forehead and sets off to run us a bath so we can bask in the afterglow together. I hear his phone vibrate on the bathroom counter. The Agency most likely.  

“Walker.” He answers. “Yes, I have secured the intel.” He checks the water temp as the person on the other line responds. “Copy. I will meet you at the rendezvous point tomorrow.”

[she-karev]

Meeting Luna (Jolex Sweet Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Alex Karev x Jo Wilson/Jo Karev

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 3

Summary: Alex and Jo help a patient deliver a baby that formed in her liver. Later Amber Karev gets news that devastates her and her loved ones.

Words: 3554

April 12th, 2020

Jo comes out of the hospital exhausted and rubbing her strained neck. It’s been four days since Meredith Grey was found passed out in the parking lot by Alex. He brought her inside the hospital where she was tested positive for covid. Since then, he has been checking in on her as her medical proxy, making sure she’s stable while Jo has been covering Meredith’s service. So far Jo hasn’t been outside in four days and the stress of the new job is getting to her.

“Hey.” Jo looks up to find her sister-in-law, Amber Karev, and best friend, Link, approach her in their casual clothes, “I’d ask how you’re doing but I think your appearance is answer enough.”

“Despite what you may read or hear in the news, sunlight does not in fact kill Covid 19.” Link says when he sees Jo has her mask off to take a breath.

“Ha. I've been covering Meredith's service. I haven't been outside in four days.” Amber hisses at that feeling bad for her, “What are you doing here?”

“Hand trauma.” Link explains.

“You left Amelia alone with four kids for a hand?”

Amber oohs at that, “You are so gonna be in the doghouse tonight.”

“She told me to come in.” Link explains.

“Oh. You're already annoying her.” Jo teases causing Amber to grin, “What's on your shirt?”

Link sees a sticky spot on his shirt, “Ooh, that's, uh, syrup? I made pancakes this morning.”

“Weird. You're a dad.” Jo jokes.

“Missed you!” Link sings before going inside leaving the sisters-in-law to catch up.

“How’s it going on your front?” Jo asks Amber, “I’m sure it’s not as painful as mine.”

“Normally I would disagree, but I know me complaining about my life right now is just gonna piss you off.” Amber says before changing the subject, “Any luck getting DCFS to do a home inspection?”

Jo frowns at that reminder. She and Alex bought a suitable two story 4-bedroom house back in February so they can raise a family there. They started the adoption paperwork, and the agency was gonna send a social worker to do a home inspection and interview them face to face.

But then March 13th happened, and social services has limited home visits in favor of public safety. The news broke Jo’s heart who was getting happier every time she and Alex were one step closer to having a baby of their own. So far, she has been trying to get past the pain with virtual therapy and work.

Jo sighs, “No they said other matters take precedence which as a woman who wants to adopt an abandoned baby pisses me off but as a doctor working in this terrible time I get it. I just wish I finally decided to have kids one month or hell even one day earlier. Maybe it might have made a difference.”

“I’m really sorry.” Amber says sad as well, “I know it doesn’t compare but my life hasn’t gone the way I envisioned it would five months ago either.”

Jo nods understanding, “Yeah if you had told me a year ago a pandemic would hit and instead of shopping for a car seat and looking toward the future, I would pray for toilet paper and hand sanitizer I would think you were crazy.”

“I would think I was crazy too.” Amber says bitterly, “I really am sorry I know how much you and Alex want a baby.”

“Thanks. We’re fine, we have each other, and we’ll just wait until social services finally does a visit and approves us. And to practice we have Schmitt living with us.”

Amber laughs, “I still can’t believe your letting him live with you. And I can’t believe Alex agreed to it, were you guys running low on rent or reasons for pity?”

“Okay he was sad and lonely, and he didn’t have a place to live I felt bad. It’s how Jackson felt with you after DeLuca broke up with you so…”

“…Touche my friend, touche. I gotta go, we’ll complain together later.”

“I’m holding you on that.” Amber walks past Jo and enters the pit when Levi Schmitt comes out and approaches Jo from behind.

“Abdominal pain consult in the ER.” Jo groans at that before snapping her fingers at Levi.

“I have faith in you.

“Covid test is still pending.” Levi informs Jo who slumps in defeat.

“I feel like I could just lay down and die.”

“Ah.” Levi imitates spitting to Jo’s confusion, “You really shouldn't say that during a pandemic.”

Levi goes back inside with Jo sulking for a minute before she puts her mask on and goes to her patient inside. Jo puts her protective shield on before going inside the trauma room where a blonde woman wearing a mask, face shield and gloves is sitting on the table clutching her stomach in pain.

“Val Ashton?” Jo starts, “Hi. I'm Dr. Karev. Okay, so you've had abdominal pain and vomiting for the last two weeks?”

“But it's not Covid.” Val insists, “I have gone nowhere, seen no one, touched nothing. I couldn't stop talking to the nurse that took my blood. It was the first in-person conversation I had had in months. I told her about the fight with my co-worker, all about my ex. And I think I invited her to lunch.”

Jo chuckles, “Don't worry. They're used to it.” Jo goes over Val’s chart in her tablet, “Okay, so your labs came back already, and…congratulations. You don't have Covid. You're just pregnant.”

Val looks at Jo in shock and utters a single word, “What?”

“Pregnant.” Jo repeats.

“What?”

“Yaay?” Jo says in the form of a question leaving Val to look at her in utter shock at this news.

An Hour Later

After the ultrasound from Carina confirmed there was no fetus in the uterus Jo ordered an abdominal scan for Val to find the underlying issue for her stomach pains. She asked Amber to assist her because she knows with Webber restricting residents from treating covid patients her resident sister-in-law is bored from doing scut and mandating patient entry.

“Thanks for letting me in on this I really needed it especially since Webber decided to punish Koracick by making him residency program director which also punishes us.”

“Yeah of course I figured it was either let you work close with me or risk getting Koracick punched in the face and you losing your job.”

“You make it sound like those are bad things.”

Bailey comes inside the monitor room, “Karev, I need you to keep covering Grey's service. I'm hoping to persuade Dr. Webber to come back to the OR, whenever he finishes adjusting his crown. Chief of chiefs. I could be chief of chiefs.”

“You'd be really good at that.” Amber says.

“What do you got?” Bailey asks

“Abdominal pain, vomiting, positive beta HCG. She's not pregnant, but I want to rule out a mass.” The scans pull up.

“Okay I see a mass it’s in the liver.”

Bailey looks at the scans astonishes, “That is no mass. That is a fetus.”

“She is pregnant, but her baby is attached to her liver?” Jo gasps at this in wonder while Amber chuckles in delight until Bailey steps in.

“Mine.”

“Hell no.” Amber retorts facing her boss, “This patient doesn’t have covid and I need something to lift up my spirits.” Bailey stares down at the resident who stares back with equal intimidation, “I’ve faced scarier things chief the only way you’re getting me out is tossing me across the floor.”

“Do you want to see that happen?” Bailey asks threateningly which doesn’t faze Amber as they continue to stare down with Jo looking on in worry.

“Okay as primary I will call the shots. Amber, I love you, but Bailey is my boss so get out.” Amber scoffs and turns to Jo who speaks before she can, “Go.”

“Fine.” Amber growls and stands up stomping out of the room with Bailey taking her place in joy as they look at the scans of the baby inside Val’s liver.

Later

Jo sees Alex in the middle of the empty peds floor and approaches him with a tablet in her hand.

“Hey are you busy?”

“Well, my best friend is being monitored by her sister and my sister’s ex-boyfriend so that leaves me time to sort out my empty floor where every surgery has been rescheduled for the next three months. I’m free for whatever you have as long as it’s not mundane.”

Jo chuckles, “Oh then you are gonna love this.” She hands him the tablet and shows Alex Val’s scans, “Val Ashton 35, came in with abdominal pain and vomiting, labs showed that she was pregnant but there was nothing in the ultrasound so we ran scans to see what the issue was.”

Alex looks at the scans, “Tumor in her liver that released HCG? I’m lost on why you came to me with this.”

“Because that mass in her liver is a fetus.” Jo explains and grins at Alex looking at her with wide eyes, “Yep you heard me my patient has an abdominal pregnancy.”

“I can see why you came to me.” Alex says with a grin relieved to have a case, “Is the fetus viable?”

“Carina DeLuca is about to do an ultrasound and we’ll get answers. If the baby is viable, we need to get them out so the growing placenta doesn’t rupture Val’s liver. We want you there so you can explain the risks the baby will face if she decides to keep it.”

“Okay yeah I can do that lead the way.” Jo leads Alex away from the peds floor to Val’s room.

Later

“There's a baby in my liver?” Val asks Jo with Alex next to her while Carina does an ultrasound on Val’s side where her liver is hearing a heartbeat.

“You have what's called an abdominal pregnancy, where the fetus develops outside of the uterus. You're about 26 weeks.”

“And so far, the heartbeat is strong which indicates viability.”

“That’s right and it’s very good in cases like this.” Carina says as she wipes away the gel, “Val, these pregnancies don't normally survive to term, but your baby is very much alive. Your case is extremely rare.”

“He made me feel like crap for eight years.” Val explains, “Every time IVF didn't work…he would look at the doctor and say, ‘Well, what can she do differently next time?’ When clearly it was his fault. Because I had a one-night stand with a guy that wears square computer glasses, and I'm knocked up.”

Alex nods understanding her pain from having his dream of having a baby with Jo stalled by covid.

“Val.” Carina sits by Val’s side and asks her cautiously, “Do you want this baby?”

Val inhales with tears in her eyes before nodding.

“Okay. Then we need to deliver her today.” Jo explains, “The growth of the placenta could cause the liver to bleed at any moment, and we need to operate to save you both, now.”

“It's a girl?” Val asks with a smile behind her mask.

Alex grins and nods, “Yes, it is.”

“Luna.” Val says rubbing her own belly, “That's her name. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew my daughter's name. I want to call her Little Moon, like the book, my mom would read it to me all the time.”

“Val.” Carina says and Val looks up nodding.

“Yeah, okay. Let's get her out!” Val gives consent in joy and the doctors look at each other knowing it’s not gonna be an easy surgery.

Two Hours Later

Jo and Bailey expose the liver revealing the baby inside as the scans show waiting for Alex and Carina to gown up so they can take the baby.

“Is she viable?” Alex asks as he spins while the nurse gowns him.

“Come see for yourself. Liver's exposed.” Bailey says causing Alex and Carina to observe the liver where they see the amniotic sac attached to the liver to their wonder.

“Wow.” Carina says in shock.

“Hello there, Little Moon.” Alex greets the baby before Bailey and Jo go over the steps of the procedure. Alex and Carina start the c-section and take out the small baby immediately, putting her inside the incubator while Bailey and Jo try to save the liver.

“Alex, I'm not seeing any movement.”

“Damn it.” Alex curses, “We need to intubate.” Alex and Carina try to intubate Luna while Jo and Bailey try to stop the heavy bleeding.

“How's Luna?” Jo asks.

Carina responds while helping Alex, “Apgar 2, maybe 3.” “We’re still trying to get the tube in.” Alex tries to intubate Luna, “Come on Luna you got this come on.” He successfully intubates her, “I’m in, bag her and get her up to the unit now let’s go!” Alex and Carina hurriedly take the incubator out of the OR while Jo and Bailey work hard to save Val’s life.

That Night

Jo is in the NICU looking down at her and Alex’s patient, Luna, who is hooked up to leads and wires in an incubator. The sight of the tiny premie breaks Jo’s heart but knowing the baby’s story gives her hope in a hopeless time.

“Hi, Luna.” Jo coos at the baby as she holds her tiny hand, “Hi. Your mommy is asleep right now, but she is gonna be so excited to meet you.”

Bailey approaches them with a grin, “See? Joy.”

Jo chuckles lightly, “She developed in a liver and was born in a pandemic. She is a survivor.”

“Your work these last few days hasn't gone unnoticed.” Bailey compliments, “Thank you.”

Jo nods and grows solemn at the reminder knowing why she’s so busy, “Meredith has to be okay, Bailey. She has to be okay.” The woman stand there looking at the baby hoping their good friend will make it through this virus.

Later

“We’re gonna need to keep you for observation for the next month.” Alex informs Val who is bleary from her surgery, “Dr. Karev and Dr. Bailey did their best to resect your liver without doing too much damage but we need to be safe and keep a close eye on you. Now we’ll do daily scans on your abdomen to make sure your liver isn’t failing. Worst case scenario we put you on the transplant list and wait for a match to fall through. And until then we would put you on dialysis to buy you some more time.”

“And what about Luna?” Val asks worried, “Is she gonna be okay?”

“She needs to be constantly monitored in the NICU while her lungs continue to form. Now she’s 26 weeks so we would have her incubated for the next 19 weeks till she reaches full term.”

“Can I hold her? Or visit her?”

Alex sighs, “I want to say yes but her immune system is still compromised and you’re still fresh out of surgery moving one of you could raise complications. We would need to wait until you’re discharged so you can visit her. Now I can set up a camera so you can watch her and talk to her while you’re both recovering. I’m sorry but it’s the best I can do right now.”

Val sighs in sadness, “…This is not how I imagined having a baby after all this time but I wouldn’t change it if it meant finally having Luna.”

Alex nods understanding, “If it makes you feel better my plans for having a baby have been recently stalled too.”

“Fertility issues?”

“Not exactly.” Alex sits in a chair next to Val, “My wife, Dr. Karev, told me she was finally ready to start a family and I was excited to be a dad. We were gonna adopt instead of getting pregnant because we were both kids in the system and we know it can be a brutal upbringing. We bought a house, we bought furniture to make it look picture perfect for social services, we were finally ready to start a family…but then March happened, and all our efforts went out the window. We’re now waiting as patiently as we can to get a social worker to visit and approve us and every minute that passes feels-”

“Like an eternity?” Val finishes understanding, “It’s how I felt before, during and after IVF. It felt like I was never gonna have a baby, like it was my fault somehow and to find out it wasn’t my fault at all makes me angry…but you telling me my baby is finally out. It makes all that anger disappear and I feel joy. God, I feel so much joy.”

Alex grins at that, “I could use some of that joy right now, can you share?”

“No.” Val’s blunt answer makes Alex chuckle. She frowns as a horrible scenario comes into her head that makes her look at Alex square in the face, “I need you to promise me something. Promise me that if I die, you’ll make sure Luna walks out of this hospital if I can’t.”

“Val…I can’t make promises.” Alex sadly tells her.

“I know but I need you to promise you will do everything you can to make sure Luna is okay. You will try any procedure, you will get her into a trial, you will do anything to make sure one of us makes it out of this alive. I need you to promise that you will take care of my Little Moon if I can’t, from one desperate parent to another please promise me.”

Alex looks at Val in awe before holding her hand and looking into her eyes with conviction, “I promise.” Val sniffles and looks at Alex gratefully as he holds her hand with the both of them feeling hopeful.

Epilogue

Amber is alone in the resident’s lounge putting her casual clothes on feeling drained once again after another long day. What was supposed to be her first surgery in weeks turned She has been in charge of the line outside which got her into little arguments with people who refuse to fully wear their masks and keep a six feet distance.

It got to the point where one of them spit on her and she spent ten minutes furiously scrubbing her face with rubbing alcohol afraid of the germs and angry at the ass who demeaned her. Now all Amber wants to do is go to Jackson’s penthouse, drink his expensive alcohol and watch bad reality tv. A knock on the door calls her and she turns to find her roommate Jackson Avery standing outside the door in his casual wear and black mask looking at her in worry.

“I heard what happened. Did the guy really spit in your face when you told him to stop acting like an idiot and put his mask on and keep a safe distance?”

Amber groans putting her black mask on, “Yep, I did the silkwood shower on my face right after I think I peeled off a layer of my own skin. I don’t want to talk about it I just want to go home, watch The Bachelorette and wonder where my life is going after today.”

“I’ll join you; I got a feeling Hannah is gonna eliminate Peter.”

Amber scoffs at that, “Please you wish, Peter is going all the way, Mike is next mark my words.”

Jackson’s eyes widen offended, “Oh we’ll see about that Mike is her dream man, loser does the laundry?”

Amber chuckles at her friend, “You’re on, make sure to fold my delicates I like them neat and organized.”

“Same. Let’s go.” Amber slings her backpack on and is about to walk towards him when Owen Hunt comes in with a numb face wearing his scrubs and mask.

“Good I caught you both before you left.”

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks concerned.

Owen looks solemn but faces Amber with regret getting straight to the point, “Amber your test came back just now, your positive for covid 19, I’m sorry.”

Jackson and Amber are stunned by this with him standing by the doorway looking at Amber worried she’ll faint like Meredith. Amber is standing by her cubby with her backpack on looking frozen with shock before she chuckles uneasily.

“Is this a joke? I’m not symptomatic, I feel fine. Did Koracick or Alex put you up to this because it is the worst punking in the history of ever.”

“No this isn’t a joke.” Owen says with a serious tone, “The test is right here you can look at it if you want.”

Owen puts the tablet on the table six feet away from Amber who takes it and looks at her results with a small gasp. She looks up at Jackson who looks down in worry but pulls out his phone.

“I’ll book you a hotel room to quarantine and tell your family.” He puts the phone to his ear, “And April we should get tests too.”  

Amber swallows the lump in her throat before sitting on the bench while Jackson makes calls. At this moment she feels a fear in her chest she’s never experienced before as a doctor and as of now a patient.

[cordonianroyalairlines]

Ball Drop

Series: Cordonian Royal Airlines

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: Various

Pairing for this chapter: Riley x Drake

Word Count: 1,768

Rating: G

Warnings for this chapter: None

“Come on, one more dance!” Riley laughed as she tugged Max toward the dance floor.

“No, really, I’m going to head up to my room now.”

“Really?” She stopped and turned to study him. “With whom?”

“No one!”

“What do you mean, no one?”

“I mean, I’m going to my room alone. To sleep!”

“But it’s not even midnight yet! And I’ve seen at least four hot guys hit on you tonight…” she trailed off as she regarded him thoughtfully. Her eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. “Oh. My. God!”

“What?”

“You’re going to your room alone because of Liam!”

Max scoffed loudly. “Why would you think that?”

“Because there’s no other reason you would turn those guys down! Especially the one with the crop top.” She stole a glance across the room as if to verify her previous opinion. “I don’t say this often because you know you’re a ten…but that guy is out of your league. On a scale of one to ten, he’s an eleven.”

“First of all…” Max followed her eyes before turning back to answer, “He’s a nine. Okay, nine and a half. Can’t I just be sleepy?”

“Since when do you lie to your best friend?”

“Okay, fine.” Max’s shoulders slumped as he let out a long, low exhale. “I have an early flight out in the morning. I want to get back home because Liam invited me to a poetry reading or something.”

“And you’re only telling me this now?”

“It just happened this afternoon, and you were busy pulling all this together.” He gestured back toward the VIP lounge area where her sister’s bachelorette party was in full swing.

“Hm.” She pretended to consider the matter deeply before breaking into a huge grin. “Fine. I’ll let it slide this time. But I want full details of this date.”

“I don’t even know if it is a date! What if he just meant get together and hang out as friends?”

“He’s never invited me or any of the other flight attendants to hang out. It’s a date.”

“I hope so! I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

“I’m not alone. I have my sister and twenty-six of her closest friends. Not to mention the stripper.”

“Yeah. How did we end up with him again?”

Riley shrugged. “He followed us over from the strip club. I’m pretty sure he likes Amelia’s friend Jessica.”

Max laughed. “It’s been a baffling weekend.”

“Yeah.” Riley agreed. Monaco had been fun, but she was ready to go home. “I can’t believe you’re going to bed early, not to mention alone, on New Year’s Eve. You’ve got it bad!”

“I knooooow!” Max wailed. “What the fuck am I going to do about it?”

“Liam, hopefully,” she snickered.

He couldn’t control the grin that engendered as he gave her a playful shove. “Shut up!”

“Never!”

Max’s gaze locked on something over her shoulder. “Well, I was feeling guilty for leaving you to ring in the new year alone, but something tells me you’re going to be just fine.”

Confusion spilled through her. “What?” She angled her body so she could see what he was looking at. Her eyes widened. Her heart started thumping wildly in her chest. Her palms were suddenly clammy. “What is he doing here?”

“I dunno. Let’s find out.” Max raised his arm and waved it in the air as he called out, “Drake! Drake! Over here!”

“Max, no!” She made a swipe for his arm, but it was too late. He sidestepped her and jogged across the room, returning a few minutes later with Drake in tow.

Drake looked a little bemused as Max deposited him in front of Riley, then said his goodbyes and excused himself to his room. Drake waved bye to Max then turned back to Riley. “What are you two doing here?”

“Oh…ah…” she gestured toward the group of rowdy women dressed in sparkly pink t-shirts, “Sister’s bachelorette party. You?”

He nodded as his eyes tracked down her body, taking in her sparkly pink shirt emblazoned with the words Maid of Honor before answering, “Guy’s weekend.”

She tilted her head to one side, then the other, making a show of looking behind him. “Where are the rest of the guys?”

“Ah….” His head swiveled, looking around the club. “That’s a good question. But it’s not guys plural. It’s just me and Leo.”

“I didn’t know you and Leo were close.”

“We’re not…Bertrand was originally supposed to come with him, but he got sick. Then Liam said it wasn’t his scene…”

“So, you were the third choice, then?”

“Fourth, actually. He tried to get Olivia to go, but she told him what he could do with his invitation. In explicit detail.”

Riley tipped her head back and laughed. “That sounds like her!”

“Heh. Yeah.” A soft smile played across his lips as he appreciated the way her face lit up when she laughed. “How was your Christmas?”

“It was good. Yours?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” he hedged.

“I thought I might see you on Christmas after we landed.”

Surprise flashed across his face. Had she wanted to see him? “I figured you were in a hurry to get to your parents. I guess you made it okay?”

“Oh yes! My mom managed to save me a piece of pumpkin pie. Which is quite a feat in a big family.”

“I can imagine.” He laughed. The way Riley talked about her family made him wonder what it would have been like if his family had stayed close like they had been before his father left.

“Riley? What the hell are you doing here?” Leo stumbled up with his arm slung around a buxom blond that was poured into her gold lame dress. He pointed between her and Drake. “Are you two a thing now?”

“Jesus Rys. You’re fucking drunk.” Drake grumbled.

Leo grinned at him. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? What happened to that redhead you were with earlier?”

Drake froze as a flush crept up his neck. His eyes slid sidewise to take in Riley’s expression as he snapped, “She wasn’t my type.”

Riley was studiously tracing the lines on the carpet with her eyes as she struggled not to react to the thought of Drake with some gorgeous redhead.

“Sure looked like your type when you were sucking face on the dance floor,” Leo smirked.

“Ah…I should go. Nice seeing you both.” Riley spun and headed blindly across the room.

Drake smacked Leo in the chest. “You’re a real dick, Rys, you know that?”

Leo jolted back in dismay as his drink sloshed over the rim of the glass. Confusion colored his voice. “What did I do?”

But Drake was already gone. “Riley, wait!” He rushed after her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. “It’s not like that! She’s friends with the girl Leo is with and they kind of pawned her off on me. She kissed me but I-“

“Drake, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“You’re upset.” He tried to keep the note of surprised happiness out of his voice. He failed.

It was her turn to blush. Embarrassment swirled through her as the music stopped and people started counting down toward the new year. She felt ridiculous. They weren’t a couple. Why did she care what he did? “No, really. It’s fine. I just…after Christmas I kind of thought….I mean….never mind. I should—” She tried to turn and walk away again.

He moved without thought, lunging after her. His fingers wrapped around her arm. He stumbled to get in front of her as he pulled her to stop.

Fury snapped in her eyes. “What?”

“I—”

The room around them finished the countdown. “…three….two….one….happy new year!”

Cheers filled the room as streamers, balloons, and confetti poured down from the ceiling.

It was New Year’s at the stroke of midnight. He was standing in a nightclub in Monaco with the woman who bedeviled him and haunted his dreams. If that wasn’t a sign, he didn’t know what was.

He jerked her body into his and crashed his lips against hers. Her body stiffened in surprise and for half a second he was sure she would pull away, maybe even slap him for his audacity.

Then she leaned into it, melting against him. She arched upwards as she returned the kiss.

Ardently.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and pressed into the back of his neck as her tongue curled around his, slowly at first, then with more urgency as her body responded to his, matching his heat with her own.

The crowd disappeared as they lost themselves in each other, desperately clinging to a moment that might never happen again.

A shrill voice intruded. “Riley! Riley!”

She pulled away from him in bemusement, lips swollen, face flushed, confetti clinging to her hair, blinking as if awakening from a dream. “That’s my sister….”

“Yeah, sorry. You should go.” He forced himself to release her and reluctantly took a step back.

“I don’t want to…”

“Riley—” He took a step toward her, reaching a hand out toward her face.

A blond, drunk version of Riley stumbled between them, giggling, “There you are! I need you to — Oh! Who is this?”

Riley gave Drake an apologetic shake of her head as she tried to introduce him. “Drake, this is my sister, Amelia. Mellie, this is Drake, he—”

“Ooh, you’re very cute!” the blond purred up at him. “Is he another stripper? Tell me he’s a stripper!”

Mortification poured through her. “He is not a stripper, he’s a coworker and you’re drunk. Stop it!”

“Damn.” Amelia continued to eye him up and down. “You could be a stripper if you wanted to.”

Drake grinned at her. “Thanks.”

Riley took her sister firmly by the arm and pulled her away from him. “You’re engaged! Leave him alone!”

Something in Riley’s tone filtered through Amelia’s alcohol-induced fog. Her gaze shifted from Drake to take in her sibling’s expression. “Sorry, didn’t realize this is the one you liked.”

Drake’s eyes snapped to Riley’s face. “Wait. What?”

“Don’t listen to her. She’s drunk! I should get her back to her party, then up to our room.”

“Okay.” He watched as Riley drug Amelia back toward the VIP area. “Hey, Riley?”

She turned her head. “Yeah?”

“Happy New Year.”

That smile that took his breath away broke out across her face. “Happy New Year, Drake. See you at work.”

“Yep.” He turned on his heel with a smile of his own as he murmured to himself, “I’m counting on it.”

[ender-cloud]

uh, spoilers for full moon under cut, you’ve been warned

FULL MOON HAD NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME THAT SAD WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK! STOLAA AND BLITZ

Sad section:

DUDE

Stolitz man

“I think so very highly of you, I didn’t realize you think so low of me”

I can’t, that part broke me man, Stolas crying too, Aghhhhh!!

“You royal fucks think you can do this every time! Like you can just play with our feelings because we’re smaller and not as important!”

It’s the way that you can tell Blitz actually means it for me, he’s so scared of dying alone and now Stolas is seemingly leaving him! I’m not ready for apology tour after this, I fucking can’t man.

Also Loona saying that Stolas was getting bored of Blitz didn’t help anything, and Blitz panicking when Stolas said that he was keeping the book forever (idk how to spell it:( ). Like god damn, I’ve never been that big of a Blitz fan (I like him he’s just not my favorite) that made me feel so bad for him

Sillier stuff:

Can we please talk about this photo?

Like the way I stopped everything I was doing just to really take it inc

I knew that Loona disguise was gonna be used for a furry joke but I was not expecting this

Also Disney princess Stolas turning into like a Disney villain mid when I see him tonight! AGHSBABSHSH

HES SO PRETTY AND I LOVE HIS SINGING

ALSO JUST WHEN I SEE HIM TONIGHT IN GENERAL?!?! LIKE IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY GET A HIGH QUALITY THAT ISNT JUST THE SNEAK PEEK WE GOT BEFORE

“I’ll fucking die alone if this goes bad!”

“Am I doing something I can’t take back? Would he want me if he was free? And if he’s only here as a prisoner what kind of monster does that make me?”

That part goes so hard oh my god,

Also Baby boy Collin 🫶🫶 I’m so sorry you were forced into all of this but I love you dearly

Finally the Moxie doll being in Blitz and Stolas’s sex toy chest-

Like excuse me?? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU USE THAT FOR

Overall very good episode that made me giggle and cry

[stitchdfox]

Eddie on tour pt 5

“Why is your tour so short?” Steve asks, curious.

Eddie walks down the street on the main drag in St. Louis. They have a rare day off before their show and he’s enjoying the strangely cool day.

“They only asked us on for the first leg of tour. Some other yahoos get to take our place opening on the second leg.” Eddie pulls his earbuds from his leather jacket pocket, tucking Steve’s voice into his ears.

“Hmm.” Steve takes a second to reply. “Is that good or bad?”

“Can it be both?” Eddie asks. “It’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed again. But the rush of playing in front of a crowd, in these beautiful venues, that I’ll miss.”

“You’ll book another tour soon. I’d put money on it.”

Eddie grins from ear to ear. “What makes you so sure?”

“Eds. I don’t listen to metal. Like. At all. But I enjoy the music you and the guys make. It feels very you and I love listening to… I’m an 80s pop guy! And I can’t get enough of Corroded Coffin.” He clears his throat, “for what it’s worth.”

“It’s worth a lot, sweetheart.” Eddie’s dimples grow deep as his smile widens.

“Enough about me. What trouble have you been getting into lately, big boy?” Eddie eggs him on.

“It’s so boring over here. Just trying to make it through summer classes.” Steve sighs.

“But what do you do for fun?” Eddie asks as he walks into a coffee shop. The music is low and he orders an Americano with room for milk.

“I don’t really. I mean, I used to swim but I haven’t since high school.” Steve’s voice goes low. “I’m nothing special.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow. “You take that back.”

“Huh?”

“You do not get to talk about my favorite person like that.” Eddie snarls to emphasize his point. “You’re incredibly caring, you’ve put a lot of work into figuring out who you want to be, and you’re going to be a councilor. Not because it’s easy but because you want to help people.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, baby.” Steve sounds flushed.

“I will not.” He smiles at the kind barista as he picks up his drink. He adds milk and sugar, giving it a stir.

“Eddie.”

“Now that we have that out of the way, what do you do for fun?” Eddie’s voice is more even and soothing.

“Mmm. I do like to draw. I have a few sketch books here and I don’t really show anyone what I work on.” Steve pauses. “I think I’d like to try painting.”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” Eddie walks out of the coffee shop and perches on a bench near by.

“Question,” Steve prompts.

“Hmm?” Eddie sips his coffee.

“Am I really your favorite person?” His voice cracks.

“Uh… yeah. Yes. Please don’t tell Jeff.”

“That’s the first thing I’m telling him when I meet him.” Steve laughs.

There’s a comfortable silence between them now. Eddie breathes in deep as he looks at the sky. He hasn’t shared a quiet moment like this with anyone before. He always feels the need to fill the silence. Worried for some reason or another that the person is bored or bothered or annoyed. But with Steve, with this man on the other end of the line, he feels content. His anxiety wasn’t buzzing around like bees in his head. It was just the two of the here in this moment, miles apart, but together.

“Hey Eddie?”

Steve’s soft tone feels like flowers blooming in Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah?”

Steve clicks his tongue. “Never mind.”

“Okay.” Eddie fiddles with his rings. He hums a tune that’s been stuck in his head.

“Don’t you want to know?” Steve pries.

“Of course! You changed your mind though so I’m not gonna push it. I’ll be here if you change your mind again.” Eddie’s lips purse as he reassure the other man. He whistles.

“Okay,” Steve’s next words rush together. “I was wondering if you were staying in a hotel room tonight and if you’d be alone and if you’d be interested in maybe talking like um, more intimately and I don’t want to assume anything. I just can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t know if I can wait until I meet you or even if you’d want to go any further and I feel like a weirdo asking—“

“We are treating ourselves to a hotel tonight,” Eddie cuts him off.

“Does that mean… is that a yes?” Steve’s pitch raises with his question.

“Can I admit something?” Eddie asks.

Steve swallows, “of course.”

“I haven’t had phone sex before.” His face turns red and even though Steve can’t see him he pulls a bit of hair to cover his mouth. Embarrassed.

“Me either!” Steve shouts and then goes shy. “Think, uh, think you’d like to give it a try?”

Eddie hums playfully.

“I do like telling stories,” he muses. “And I’ll have to tell Jeff to get lost for a while tonight. He will definitely give me shit for that.”

Steve is quiet.

“You know what?” Eddie throws his free hand in the air. “For you, sweetheart, I’m in.”

“You’re sure?” Steve whispers.

“Mhmm. As long as you don’t get jealous of my sweet, sweet story telling skills.” Eddie says breathy.

“It’s not like bed time stories, you know that, right?” Steve questions.

“You haven’t been to one of my D&D sessions yet. You don’t know what you’re in for.” He gloats.

“Clearly.” Steve chuckles again. “Well, I gotta head out. I’m having lunch with Robin in a bit.”

“Tell her I said hi and I can’t wait to meet her backstage.” Eddie grins.

“What do you… seriously? She’s gonna flip. You’re so wonderful.”

“VIP badges will be at will call just for you two.” Eddie bites his lip. “Talk to you later, Steve.”

“Can’t wait.”

Eddie ends the call and texts Jeff.

/Eddie/: I’m gonna need the room for a while tonight. No questions asked.

He sips the last of his coffee. His phone chimes.

/Jeff/: youre gross. I’ll just cuddle up with GareBear tonight.

/Jeff/: I don’t gotta know what you’re getting into but I feel like I should congratulate you or something.

/Eddie/: I’ll accept my medal at breakfast tomorrow.

/Jeff/: Seriously. You’re gross. 😜

Totally worth the endless teasing ahead. Now what was he going to do with the rest of his day? He spots a small artsy store front across the way. He crosses the street and bobs in.

——

I love them, your honor. Prepare for smut in pt 6. 🫣

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6 coming soon with the promise of smut!

Follow me on Twitter if you’d like!

[timaeusterrored]

(I’m tired)

((Brought to you by, Andrew is tired and needs comfort))

V thought he’d be alone tonight, which was probably a good thing. He was exhausted, and he was tired of people for the night and didn’t want to accidentally snap at Kerry. God he’d never forgive himself.

He sat out by the pool, staring at the calm water as he smoked. It had been an emotional day of nearly losing three mercs, Venus being one, most of his clients angry about something, getting harassed on the streets by paparazzi trying to get a shot of his face, and just over all waking up on the wrong side of the bed. He wanted sleep. And yet when he had attempted to lay down, he realized his body refused to sleep without Kerry.

“You must be really out of it tonight, babe.” Vax damn near fell out the chair, not realizing Kerry was standing over him- literally when he looked up, Kerry was just staring down at him.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to know you had a fuckin day.”

Kerry was correct, and also correct in Vax being out of it because he got from the sliding door and down the stairs and Vax didn’t hear a damn thing. And he still had his boots on. Vax normally heard his husband walking around, but tonight he probably could have been robbed blind.

Kerry patted V’s legs to get him to move them, sitting on the pool chair. The Fixer hugged his legs to his chest like a toddler, Kerry taking the cigarette before the ash could fall and burn him. Kerry put it out in the ashtray on the ground and looked at V, a knowing look on his face that said Vax wouldn’t have to say much.

“Ven is with Dean and Blue tonight, said you were a ticking time bomb and figured you’d need space. J is with them as well, so don’t worry.” Kerry explained, talking low and soft, as if V was some wounded animal. But it was better than the amount of yelling he had dealt with today.

“Hope I didn’t scare them… I yelled pretty bad today.” Vax had accidentally yelled at Venus and Onyx and Mike, and snapped at Claire and some clients. He felt awful of course, and would apologize tomorrow. But goddamn he was fucking tired.

“You’re pretty scary when you yell, but they aren’t angry if that’s what you’re asking.” Kerry explained, which was valid. Vax tried to not yell often, but when he did, it was fucking scary. He had caused the Afterlife to go silent.

Vax rubbed his face, letting out a frustrated groan. He couldn’t do this, he was shitty fixed and a shitty husband. He should have died on that space station because if he couldn’t be a merc, then what could he be?

This was Jackie’s dream. The nice house, the cars, the fame, this was all for Jackie. And now, Vax wasn’t sure. He didn’t exactly mind being Jackie’s shadow, it was what he was good at. Going in for the silent kill and disappearing… now he was the most sought after face in the world, everyone knew the legend of V, and everyone knew V Eurodyne. And god it made his chest tight.

“Hey… do you need a minute? I can go shower and get ready for bed if you need it.” Kerry hadn’t touched him besides patting his leg, and had maintained a level voice and respectful distance.

“…Think I’m gonna make me some tea from Misty… and see how I feel after.” Vax and Kerry were still working on the whole communication and feelings thing, it was rough because both were so used to just hiding it or hiding away.

“Sounds good, where am I gonna meet you after?” The fact that Kerry still wanted to be around him after the day he had meant the world to Vax. The fact that Kerry hadn’t gotten upset to not have kisses or any thing like that… he was letting Vax go at his own paceS

“If I’m not in bed, probably the couch.” Kerry nodded, standing up and stretching. “A bowl sounds really nice too…”

“Fuuuuck yes it does, you are speaking my language, doll.” The rocker leaned down, but stopped just before he kissed Vax, silently asking permission. Vax gave him a peck on the lips and Kerry took it with a smile before heading inside.

The couch ended up winning, Vax had changed out that godawful leather nightmare for a comfy couch that still somewhat matched the aesthetic of their penthouse. But if he was gonna have a couch, he should be able to take comfortable naps on it.

This time, he heard Kerry coming. His bare feet padding against the floor and a lighter appearing in front of his face. He always knew what Vax needed.

The two smoked and Vax drank his tea, trying to calm the fixer without overwhelming him more. Sometimes, he just needed Kerry there, just in his eyesight. He hated that Johnny went and stayed with Venus but was also glad they were getting along… but damn he needed Kerry and Johnny tonight…

Kerry took the final hit, Vax watching him blow the smoke out and went a little gayer if possible. Damn he loved this man… that was his man at the end of the couch.

“Bed? Or stay down here longer?” Kerry asked, cleaning up so Vax didn’t have too. He knew that Kerry knew Vax could very well wake up and be stress cleaning so Kerry would rather just clean now and try to help his husband rest for as long as possible.

“Bed… ‘M fuckin’ tired.” Vax mumbled finally, feeling Kerry help him stand up and help him up to bed.

[banannabethchase]

Luchasaurus, to Nick: you know, birds are descended from dinosaurs...so really, don't you think you should be calling me daddy?

So. This happened. Um. I. Well.

~

Feel the Rush, Feel Your Touch - also on AO3

~

Nick got a taste of the dinosaur and he's desperate for more.

~

Written for @wrestleprompts week 10: "Do you miss me when I'm not around?" *the other person admits that sometimes, under certain circumstances, they do* "Do you think, realistically, we could be lovers?" And, of course, also for Sarah's prompt. And to take my mind off of work to a degree so drastic we ended up with...this. Title from Alone by Kim Petras again. It's a sequel. It felt right.

~

Nick sighs in the empty hotel room, staring into the blinking fire alarm light. It’s red and green. That’s a good thing. Means it’s working. It’s a bad thing, because it makes him think of a certain dinosaur. As does the mild soreness in multiple parts of his body.

He checks the clock. 2:45am.

He picks up his phone and hits his ICE contact.

“Wha?” Matt mumbles. “Wha’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Nick says. “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh,” Matt says, voice clearing. “Of course. You can’t sleep, so you steal my ability to sleep. Makes sense.”

“You didn’t have to pick up,” Nick replies.

“Of course I did. You’re my brother.” There’s a muffled conversation on the other end. “Give me a sec. I’m considerate of the people in my life, so I’m going to continue this conversation so I don’t wake up my boyfriend.”

“You could just hang up.”

“Nope,” Matt says. Nick hears rustling. “Nope. I’m awake, and if it’s important enough for you to wake me up, it’s important enough to talk about.”

Nick groans, flopping back into bed. Before Mox and Matt had gotten together, all he would have had to was throw a pillow at Matt in the bed over from him and they’d be able to talk. Now it was like pulling teeth to get a moment with Matt.

He’s not jealous.

“Okay,” Matt says, “I’m in the hallway. What’s up?”

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I did, because you never call unless there’s something really eating at you, and now here we are.” Matt exhales. “Come on, Nicky, what’s going on?”

“I think I accidentally fell in love with Luchasaurus.”

Matt’s quiet, possibly for the first time in his life. “You – really.”

“I know.”

“He railed you one time,” Matt says, “like, eight hours ago, and you’re in love with him.”

“You don’t have to say it like that,” Nick half wails. “I’m not in love with him. I just…” He trails off.

“You are pathetic.”

“I am no worse than you, Mr. Petitioned Tony Khan to Get a Match with His Boyfriend.”

Matt goes silent on the other end. “Okay, fair.”

To his credit, Matt listens and gives advice only when asked, leading to him saying, “The only way out of this is to say something to him, Nicky. Otherwise you’re gonna wake me up at 2:45am every day for the next million years.”

Nick snorts. “Million years, because he’s a dinosaur.”

“No,” Matt insists, “million years, because you’re that annoying. Can I go back and snuggle with Mox now?” He interrupts himself with a yawn so loud it has to be half theatrics. Drama queen.

“Yeah. Yeah, go to bed.” He sighs. “Hopefully I get some sleep tonight.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Matt says. “Our flight leaves in three hours.”

~

Nick spends the next four weeks, the next four Dynamites, working up the urge to talk to Luchasaurus. It’s a muggy Wednesday afternoon in July when Luchasaurus makes the decision for him.

“Little bird,” he says. “You’ve been watching me.”

Nick slips from where he was trying to nonchalantly lean against the door frame of the main locker room. He wasn’t staring, technically. He was glancing. “What? No.”

Luchasaurus’ laugh is a low rumble, something that strikes something deep inside Nick and makes him want to sing. “No need to lie, pretty thing.” Nick doesn’t preen. He doesn’t. “You back for more?”

“Uhuh,” Nick mumbles, nodding. He hadn’t meant to speak. “We, uh. EVP room is empty.” He squirms. He feels empty. “We could go there.”

They walk in silence. Anyone watching them might think they were on their way to a simple work meeting. How wrong they would be.

When the door closes behind them, Luchasaurus reaches out and curls his hand around Nick’s throat, walking them slowly back against the wall.

“I can practically feel your little birdy heart flutter,” Luchasaurus half laughs as Nick’s back collides against the wall. “Want the same thing?”

Nick inhales slowly, wishing the grip around his throat was a little more aggressive, a little more possessive. “Please,” he whispers. “Anything.”

The low laugh as an answer makes him shiver. “Such a pretty little bird.” He reaches out and rips off Nick’s shorts with one firm yank, and Nick almost comes right then and there. It’s not long before Lucha’s hands are all over him, and he feels…right.

Luchasaurus takes him apart, slowly, works him open with blunt fingers and a tongue with the kind of dexterity that has Nick keening, hands planted against the wall as Luchasaurus licks him open.

“Please,” he gasps, “Lucha, please, I need – I need you. I need your – oh, my god.”

Nick drops his forehead to the wall as Luchasaurus pulls away and hears the ripping sound of a condom pack, and it almost soothes him, almost comforts him, almost tells him he’s about to get what he wants.

“You sing so pretty for me, little crow,” Luchasaurus murmurs as he lines himself up, pressed up against Nick’s back. “I want to hear more.”

Nick sings for him, alright, as Lucha’s thick cock pushes into him. Words, random syllables, hell, a couple of weird little bird sounds come out of him as Luchasaurus rails him out of his mind, pulls every bit of his stress out and tosses it away like it’s nothing. Nick feels like this is meant to be, like he was built to fly through the air and take dinosaur cock.

“Thank you,” Nick half sobs as Lucha wraps a hand around him, stroking slowly, “god, please.”

“Such a pretty little bird,” Luchasaurus growls in his ear. “And all mine.”

That’s all it takes. Nick comes all over Lucha’s fist, entire body tensing up, and he can feel Luchasaurus come inside him, feels marked by it. He wishes, just a little, this was more real between them. He blushes when he realizes how badly he wants to feel Luchasaurus’ come leak out of him. How he wants to feel possessed.

“You good, little crow?” Luchasaurus asks, turning Nick’s head so he can kiss him.

Nick dissolves into it before remembering he was asked a question. “So good,” he murmurs. “So. So good.”

“Let’s get you resting, okay?” His voice is bafflingly sweet and soft as he scoops Nick in his arms and rests him on the couch. He even picks up the shreds of what used to be Nick’s shorts and drapes them over the back of the couch. “Do you have water?”

“Mini fridge,” Nick half mumbles.

Luchasaurus stays there they whole time as they share the water, talking about the matches for the night, and Nick aches for more. But what he aches for isn’t just the sex.

~

They repeat these clandestine meetings until halfway through September. It’s a Dynamite Wednesday, and Nick and Matt don’t have a match. Even so, they’re there for EVP duties, so Nick makes his way to Luchasaurus’ and Christian’s locker room.

“Jesus Christ, the vulture again.”

“Crow!” Nick squawks.

“Even sounds like a goddamned bird,” Christian mumbles, but he walks out of the room without another word.

Nick peeks in. “Hi.”

“Hi there little crow,” Luchasaurus says, a little smile playing on his lips. “What could you possibly be doing here?”

“Oh, don’t – you know.”

Nick falls into Luchasaurus’ lap without a second thought, sliding their bodies together like they do it all the time, like this is what millions of years of evolution planned for them to do.

“Lucha,” Nick gasps, as Luchasaurus moves his lips down Nick’s throat, nipping lightly. “God, please.”

“Now you know,” Luchasaurus says, hand around Nick’s throat, “birds are descended from dinosaurs, so perhaps you should be calling me Daddy.”

Nicks entire body tenses up. “Yeah,” he says, “Yeah, Daddy, anything.”

It leads to the most mind blowing rail-a-thon yet, Nicks entire body limp and pliable and deliciously sore afterwards. Unfortunately, his brain is the same level of wrecked.

He’s playing out a scenario of a future when Luchasaurus asks, “You good?”

“Do you miss me?” Nick blurts out.

Beneath the dark red mask, Luchasaurus blinks. “What?”

“Like, when I’m not around,” and, god, Nick wishes he could stop talking. “When we’re not, like, having sex or in the ring together.”

Luchasaurus is quiet, and Nick would kill for more than a single word response. For him to use those words to craft a response that’s music to his ears. “That’s – an unexpected question.”

Nick fights the urge to ask, to interrupt whatever Lucha’s thinking about in the moment.

“I suppose,” Luchasaurus says, and Nick recognizes that tone as his Master’s Degree voice, the one where he’s doing his best to choose his words correctly, to speak carefully, “I recognize that I’m less comfortable when your strange, avian presence isn’t around.”

To Nick, that’s as good as a love confession. “You mean it?”

“I called you strange,” Luchasaurus says, and he trails his fingers up and down Nick’s arm like it’s nothing, like they do this all the time. “I’m not sure why you seem so pleased about it.”

“You implied you feel better with me around,” Nick says. “I’ll take what I can get.”

That low, lovely rumble from Luchasaurus’ chest sounds again, vibrating through Nick’s entire body. “You think too little of yourself, little crow,” Luchasaurus says. Nick would swear he presses a kiss to the top of Nick’s head.

“I’m willing to take what I can get when it comes to you.” Nick shifts so he can look Luchasaurus in the eye, the mask a welcome sight. “Do – do you think, realistically, we could be lovers?”

Luchasaurus drops his head back against his pillow, eyes to the ceiling. He wraps an arm around Nick’s shoulders, tightly enough to pull him into his own chest. “I suppose,” he says slowly, “that’s what you could already call what we’re doing, Nicrowlas.”

“Did – did you just make a bird pun when I’m trying to have a serious moment?” Nick asks, shuffling off the strong arm around his shoulders to glare at Luchasaurus.

Lucha grins. “What? A dinosaur can’t be funny and handsome?”

Nick groans, but he drops his head to Lucha’s chest again, and thinks, perhaps, the could build a home right here.

Or, he giggles to himself, a nest.

~

Mini Playlist (it's never been so cracky as this one, everybody):

Alone - Kim Petras feat. Nicki Minaj (again)

Animals - The Cab

Animal - The Donnas

Animals - Nickelback

[generic-sonic-fan]

Underestimated

Summary: Rouge is not the strongest member of Team Dark. Then again, she doesn’t have to be. 

1068 words

---

Every thief had her bad days. Days where the lock just won’t come undone. Days where the goods aren’t where the map said they’d be. Or, in the case of today, days where the guards actually did look up. 

Rouge sighed as the leader of the squad of six sat her down on a steel chair. He yanked her arms back and wrapped them tightly in a steel chain. He then fished a lock from his pocket and clipped the bolt down. 

“Nice try, Agent Rouge, but we are no ordinary organization.” The squad leader sneered. “We do our homework.”

“Is that so?”

“We know all about you and your little team. The only thing we don’t know is why you were sent after us.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, there’s six of us, and only one of you. So you’re going to answer our questions, or you might not be waking up tomorrow morning.”

The other five squad members, each more heavily armed than their so-called leader, seemed fidgety. Nervous. They held their rifles down low from their shoulders but kept their fingers on the triggers. Shadow would get a kick out of lecturing them for their unsafe gun practices- but he wasn’t here right now. Tonight was one of the few times a year when he took an evening off; some kind of anniversary that she wasn’t invited to so she hadn’t asked. Omega, meanwhile, was out of town on his second day of repairs with Tails.

But these goons didn’t seem to know about that, not with the way they kept flinching at shadows.

“I’m going to ask again. Why were you sent here? How did GUN find us?”

“Maybe you deserved it.”

“Don’t give me mouth! Answer the question!”

“Maybe you deserve what’s really coming.”

That struck a nerve in the rest of the room. The wandering squad members stiffened. Bingo. 

“Oh, if only there were two big strong men to come and save me!” Rouge threw back her head and gave a conspicuous wink to the ceiling.

“TRAIN ON THE VENTS!”

Six men in full armor and tactical gear squirmed their gun barrels up past their heads, clanking metal against metal, boots shuffling. Rouge slid her lockpick out of its special pocket in her glove and used the outburst of noise to cover the sound of the pick clacking against the lock. This lock was nothing compared to those found even at a normal bank. She made quick work of it, feeling the last lock pin stick open. She caught the lock and chain in her hands and stayed very still.

Three members of the squad kept their rifles trained on the ceiling, flinching at any unusual whisper from the air conditioning. The other three slowly lowered their sights back down onto her.

“Where are they?” The leader growled.

“Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She smiled.

“You just gave the signal! Where are the other two?”

“The other two what?”

“The ‘big strong men’! Don’t play coy with me- everyone knows that you have two hyper-lethal freaks at your beck and call to protect you.”

Oh, she almost broke her smile at that. Almost, almost. But she couldn’t afford to lose her advantage now. “Ugh, I could use the help. I’m so defenseless on my own like this.”

“WHERE ARE THEY, BITCH?”

The cold ring of a gun barrel pressed against her temple, not for the first time (nor for the last time, if she was being honest with herself). 

“Oh, you’ll know where. They’re much less subtle than I am, sweetheart.”

The rest of the squad squirmed at the comment. She laughed. 

The gun barrel was removed. The leader pointed to groups of two. “Johnson, Smith, scout the left wing exterior. Mendez, Stanley, you’ll take the right. Report anything you find immediately.”

The four goons took off, leaving the squad leader and just one other goon alone with her. 

“We’ll find them.” The leader said. “As soon as we spot them, we’ll tell them we’ve got you. If they don’t comply, you’ll get your brains blown all over that wall, you see?”

“Hmph.” She looked the opposite of where he pointed.

“Such a damsel. It’s a wonder how you got the other two under your thumb.”

“Why don’t you come here and I’ll show you?”

The other squad member stifled a snort. She shot him a pout, before raising her eyebrows at the squad leader. The squad leader left her side and wandered directly in front of her. He pulled down his mask and gave a goofy smile, before raising his pistol and pointing it at her.

“Nice try. The files said that about you too.”

“Did they say this?”

Rouge slammed the lock into the side of his head. As he recoiled away, she kicked the pistol out of his grip, sending it sailing into the air. The other squad member shouted. She flung herself from the chair and kicked the leader into the other guy, knocking them both over. She then grabbed the pistol as it came back down to earth. She pulled the trigger and iced the annoying dumbass. The other goon scrambled out from beneath his body, fumbling with a radio in his pocket.

“Tell me, what’s the quickest way out of this dump?” She asked the goon. “Tell me soon, otherwise you’ll be joining him.”

“The others will get you!”

“Not before you’re gone, honey. Now talk.”

“Down the hall! Down the hall, to the right! Big window, can’t miss it!”

“Thanks.”

She flew out of the room, looked both ways down the hall, and went to the left. She glided up to the ceiling, tucking herself beside a vent, and watched as a pair of the squad went rushing beneath her, screaming something about a window. She waited for them to pass before continuing further into the complex.

The vault wasn’t too hard to find- there’s only so many places in a building you can construct an enormous steel door. She cracked the lock with the password she’d gotten from her prior stakeout of the place. She left with the weapon the gang had stolen, along with some shiny gold coins that she was sure GUN wouldn’t mind lining her pockets with. 

Every thief had her bad days, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still earn her keep. 

[aajjks]

TC!dad!JK

“b-but father-!”

“you heard him, jinseoul. you are to stay here until your father and i get to the bottom of this”

“i wanted to marry her but you both said no!”

“that’s because you’ll no longer be a prince, jinseoul. you’re not ready to be king at such a young age”

“dad became king at 17”

“your grandfather passed away. son, are you sure she’s even pregnant?”

“what the hell, mom?! of course i do”

“jeon jinseoul, don’t you ever speak to me like that!“

“y-yes ma’am. i apologize, mother” jinseoul bows.

“you both will go to your rooms until further notice and i mean it. only time you both will leave your rooms are to talk to either me or your father, that’s it. are we clear?”

“yes ma’am” says ae-cha but when you look around jinseoul for his clarity of the situation, he simply nods his head.

“go ae-cha” you say leaving you and your son alone to talk.

“care to fill me in on what’s going on in that head of yours?” but jinseoul shakes his head despite visibly being on the verge of tears. you were afraid that once you blew up in jinseoul’s face he wouldn’t talk to you and here he is afraid to tell you what’s the matter.

you aren’t sure if it’s because of jungkook or you but it’s obvious that jinseoul is beginning to close himself off and you feel a need of responsibility for the wall he’s beginning to build around himself.

“i’ll be fine, mom. don’t worry about it” jinseoul says as he wipes the tears from his eyes.

“how am i not supposed to worry when you’re crying?”

“i don’t know, mom and…i don’t care. i’m going to my room” jinseoul says before walking past you and heading to his room where’s he’s keeping nami hidden.

“you okay?” nami asks as she walks up to jinseoul to pull him into a tight hug.

“not really but i feel a little better with you here” the young man smiles causing nami to smile at his sweet remark.

“bad news, nami” begins jinseoul “my father said he doesn’t want me going outside and he doesn’t want me to marry you either”

“why? why is your father so against us getting married?”

“i don’t know but we have to lay low until things have cleared then you can return home”

“i-i can’t. my mother will kill me if i’m not home before sunset, jinseoul” nami panics as she paces back and forth with a frightened look on her face.

“it’ll be for a little while, love. just trust me”

“i do trust you b-but you don’t know my mother, okay? i can’t afford to get the paddle again”

“paddle?”

“it’s nothing. just…do you know another way out of here?”

jinseoul takes a minute to think to himself…

lately, he’s been getting ae-cha in a lot of trouble and he knows he can’t afford to do that again. he cares about his sister a lot and dragging her in something that doesn’t concern her isn’t right, so he has to do this alone.

It is already night, and he is still stuck in his office, truth is that he doesn’t want to come out of there and deal with his family right now.

Today was an emotionally hard day, and now he is beginning to regret the way he reacted with jinseoul earlier, He feels really sleepy, maybe he should just sleep here tonight, but he has to investigate the Choi family.

You must be getting worried that what’s going on with your husband and especially your children, it’s not like jungkook wants to add onto your stress, but he is so disappointed in jinseoul, and he keeps on comparing his situation to yours and his.

If only he knew.

“Ahh fuck.” Jungkook bangs his head on the table. He has never been good at dealing with emotional stress and he is not good at dealing with his anger. His anger has always been really dangerous and he doesn’t want to scare off his children

Truth he wants to be with you in bed already, but his heart feels too heavy to actually calm down.

“Jisung!”

And he cannot forget the way jinseoul talked back at you like that… that makes him angry, no one can disrespect you not even your own children. Jungkook is already starting to hate the girl because she is the reason behind this.

But it does take two to tango.

Jungkook is waiting for his PI to come in, he will help him get to know about the Choi’s and his potential future daughter-in-law.

“Sir?” He’s here, Jungkook straightens his posture and asks for jisung to sit down, “I want you to investigate about the Choi’s- the second grade family.”

“And let the queen know I won’t be joining her in bed tonight, I plan to stay here.”

[mattscoquette]

the sound of the soft pitter pattering of the rain against your apartment window, along the occasional thunder rumble, filled the background noises while you laid in bed, wrapped in your comforter as you tried to calm yourself down from the podcast you had just watched. lately you’d been on a true crime kick, indulging in at least three episodes per night, sometimes even more. the last few you’d watched, though, had really shaken you up. the fact that there was a massive thunderstorm rolling through los angeles right now wasn’t helping either.

your room lit up from the flash of lightening, followed by a large crash of thunder that practically shook your whole building. you wrapped the covers around you tighter, as if the fabric would somehow protect you. you reached for your phone on the night stand next to you, scrolling through your recent phone calls until you landed on the familiar name. the phone rang twice before the sound of your boyfriends voice flooded your ears though the phone speaker.

“hey love, what’s going on? you good?” matt spoke, his voice sounding as if he just woke up.

“sorry, did i wake you? it’s nothing really..” you started, instantly feeling bad. you were an adult, you could sleep alone for the night.

“no no, you’re good. what’s up?” matt assured you.

“i watched a scary true crime podcast,” you admitted, laughing a bit at yourself, “can i sleep at your place tonight?”

“of course, i’m on my way right now,” he replied, the sound of him shuffling around and grabbing his keys could be heard from his end of the line.

as he promised, not even ten minutes later, matt was parked outside your apartment complex, keeping you on the phone until he saw you come outside. upon entering the car, he pulled you into his embrace, burying his face in your hair while kissing your temple. “you alright baby?” he asked you, pulling away to meet your eyes.

you nodded, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek while you buckled yourself into the passenger seat. “i am now, thanks again for coming.”

“anything for my girl.” matt smiled, placing the car into drive and bringing you back to his house.

જ⁀➴

when the two of you arrived at matt’s shared apartment, he quietly let you both in, trying not to wake up his brothers as they were sound asleep. you made your way back into matt’s bedroom, changing into a pair of his boxers and an oversized tee as he insisted you needed a new set of pajamas because the ones you were wearing had gotten a little damp from the rain. you slipped underneath his silk sheets, waiting for your boyfriend to join you in bed. sure enough, you heard the door creak open as you were met with the sight of the brunette haired boy. he padded his way over to the bed, laying down and pulling you into his chest as his hand went up to rub your back underneath your shirt.

“you feeling better sweetheart?” matt asked you, tilting his head down to get a better look at you as your tired eyes looked up to meet his gaze.

“yeah,” you replied, feeling bad about how childish you were acting over this, “could you maybe turn the tv on before we go to bed?”

“of course baby.” matt told you, leaning forward slightly as he reached for the remote, scrolling through netflix until he stopped at your favorite, ten things i hate about you. he clicked play, setting the volume low as he re-situated himself so you were snuggled into his body as your head lay in the crook of his neck. he began toying with the ends of your hair, pressing soft kisses to your head every so often, whispering sweet nothings to you.

you were barely twenty minutes into the movie, and your eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier with each blink. soon enough, your soft snores echoed throughout the room as you fell asleep entangled with matt, the podcast episode now long gone in your mind.

© mattscoquette

inspired from this post and this post in my inbox!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @alorsxsturn @sturniolossss @cammie4298 @bussybandit1 @amorttentia @franticroads @sturnsssbow @cams5sos @strombolilovr @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @mattscurlygirly @simply-a-simper @sturnrc @sturnifyed @freshlovie @imwetforyourmom @69isabella69 @mattsturnxoxo @stonermattsgf @pettydollie @fawnchives @mmay4ever @sturniololvrrr @whosthislyssbitch @pr1ncessmatt

[miguenhasthoughts]

05/09

The spring wind rubs along my bare legs. The scent of flowers carried on the breeze. Sun rays trickling down on the back of my neck. The blue sky invigorates the soul. The butterflies are fluttering unable to escape my mortal chest.

This week has been really affirming. Keeping my legs shaved feels so nice. My legs are so soft and I love showing them off. I’ve been keeping my nails painted. Being encouraged to try new make up and it feels good. Waiting on my mascara to show up is less so. Never realized how feminizing mascara can be alone. Now that we ran out I feel impatient to get back to experimenting. I feel more confident being myself out in public and I have been taking in more trans media to encourage me to be more honest and open with myself. My mom has been more curious and opening to learning what I’ve been feeling me and teaching me things about womanhood that I may not have known. It’s really sweet and makes me happy where I want to cry out of joy.

Sam has been feeling dysphoric about their gender and I feel so bad for them. They have a long road ahead of them. They finally have health insurance so getting the ball rolling for them is finally a possibility. I’m happy for them and I want to do everything in my power to make them feel good. Thats always been a priority for me. I love them so much and they deserve to be happy. They are such a good person.

I have two dates this week. It was my third date with May last night and my first date with J tonight. I’m kind of tired ngl. All the driving has been giving me a lot of experience so that’s been good for me at least lol May is so sweet. Our autism seems to be on the same wavelength. She is super supportive and loves to be creative and talking about every little thing that pops in her head. She talks a lot but I like that, I love listening and she is so interesting. We had sex for the first time. I was scared ngl. She was the first cis person I’ve slept with since I started my transition. She was super supportive through it all. Since my sex drive has been so low I haven’t pleasured myself in awhile and my girldick didn’t work this time around. I’m scared it may have started to atrophy. She made sure to reassure me she didn’t mind. She got to be a selfish brat because of it which was still fun. I need to talk to my doctor about this though because I still want my dick lol

We practically napped together after the session and I’m glad we were able to share an intimate moment. It was nice to be able to connect with someone socially, intimately and sexually. I can’t help to get butterflies. She is also quick to get butterflies too. We kind of teased each other about being quick to emotions lol

J has had a lot on their table. Their cat is sick. She’s overworked and she is taking on even more than she needs to. She has a good heart. I told her if she wanted to reschedule she shouldn’t feel bad about it. She invited me over instead so that’s interesting. I’ve never went to someone’s house for a first date. So I’m a little intimidated but they’ve only shown themselves as a saint so I feel like I should not worry. Honestly I think she’s looking for more hands to help with the cats and I love cats so here’s to new experiences lol

Anyways life has been good and I think recovering has been great. As far as the ED. I am eating some but it’s still pretty low. I’m trying to stuff my face but it is hard. I’m still hiding it from my loved ones. I’m afraid May also has a form of ED. I’m catching her doing similar habits and I don’t know if it will be healthy to date them if that’s the case but we will cross that bridge I guess. I lost forty pounds and yet I still feel like a fatass. I should talk to my therapist. I’m not delusional enough to delude myself that this is healthy.