#tomas panicking was a surprise though

[cienie-isengardu]

There's some people who simply think Bi-Han never really loved Kuai in either timeline. Some people say Kuai adored Bi-Han but Bi-Han simply didn't feel the same way and that their relationship was one-sided, where Kuai loved Bi-Han where Bi-Han...simply didn't.

I don't believe that but I think the writing could use a bit of work here because in story mode Bi-Han's interactions with his siblings are pretty much him telling Tomas he's not one of them and then saying 'btw I let Dad die' to Kuai in some deluded hope that his brother would see his point of view. The only noticable moment he shows concern is when Nitara ambushes Smoke from above when they are scaling the walls and most say that doesn't count because he seems to have kicked that rock at Smoke whilst he was scaling the wall.

The falling rock while someone is hanging over the abyss is so popular I can’t even remember a similar scene not using this motif to present the sense of tension/danger. So I guess there is no point in blaming MK1 for going with that visual storytelling choice - though if it was intentional choice of creators to cast a doubt on whether Bi-Han on purpose kicked the rock or not, it is impossible to say. Definitely that moment could be better presented to avoid the confusion, especially since Bi-Han’s foot is clearly placed on the ground before the rock is even shown,

so it is rather impossible for him to kick it on purpose? I mean, the rock would need to start failing before Bi-Han stopped in his tracks, as kicking requires movement of the whole leg and as can be seen,  Bi-Han’s boot was firmly touching the ground while the rock itself appears a few seconds later, like out of nowhere (and in later scene, there is no rocks only snow around Bi-Han's feet, especially compared to where Kuai Liang was standing?) I assume, when Sub-Zero was leaning out, his weight must have caused the loose element to slide, especially since he was the one standing the closest to the edge and once rock slid, he took a step back.

(Yes, I’m that dedicated to do the slow motion rewatch to make sense of what really happened.)

But you know what is more surprising than the rock failing scene? The whole fact that a man who mastered magic and was capable of using his powers to literally fly didn’t use the same powers to save himself, instead panicked and relied on his hands (failed attempt) and knive - and the game subtitles literally describes Tomas' struggle as “panicked screaming”.

So if Bi-Han (and Kuai Liang) rushed over the edge and may accidentally cause a rock to fall, I think him being concerned for a brother who could die is enough good reason to give Bi-Han the benefit of doubt he did not do that on purpose. If he didn’t care, he would not bother to come there in the first place, especially since the enemy was already out there to get them all. Frankly, there is a lot to say about Bi-Han’s claims about Tomas (your blood will never be Lin Kuei), Tomas actually panicking to the point he was unable to use his magic and the fact that Sub-Zero still took him on this top priority mission when he quite likely had more warriors with real battle experience and skills than untested Tomas. On one hand, we could argue Tomas joined because Liu Kang said so, but the Fire God literally not even once acknowledged Tomas in any specific way and as the meeting scene proved, Bi-Han had a say in who is allowed to accompanying him for the mission, as he refused take Kung Lao and Raiden while Liu Kang did not try to force them on him. So I tend to assume that whatever Sub-Zero said about Tomas in regard to his Lin Kuei status did not stop him from including the adoptive brother in his duties. And the falling scene proved he had a point about Tomas’ training and battle experiences (or lack thereof) - even if voiced in a brutally straight up way. 

Generally speaking I think what (and the way) Bi-Han speaks should always be compared to his actions. Tomas not having a true Lin Kuei blood =/= taking him on top priority mission commissioned personally by worried Fire Lord.

That said, yes I agree that story mode should handle better both Bi-Han as character and the whole brothers dynamic but for that the story would need to give them more focus and screen time to establish well written balance between their flaws and virtues instead of the more or less one-dimensional characterization game started with (Bi-Han the angry & ambitious/power-hungry brother, Kuai Liang the honorable “never did anything wrong”, Tomas the loyal sidekick, basically). As the Lin Kuei subplot seems to exist solely to set up the conflict between Sub-Zero’s clan and Scorpion’s Shirai Ryu, I assume that was the authors' goal to achieve, but with such approach to klassic characters can’t say I’m surprised by fandom negative opinions about Bi-Han. 

I can understand the never-ending fan dispute about how much Bi-Han truly loved Kuai Liang, as Mortal Kombat lore is more than three decades old already and we still only got glimpses of their relationship from Bi-Han’s perspective. Considering how many games, books, comics, movies, animations and cards the series spawned in such a long time - and how different media present different “timelines”, it is both impossible and unfair to demand from new fans (or any fans in fact) to be familiar with all possible nuance, details and stories almost forgotten before they will speak their mind. Not everyone has the opportunity, time, energy or interest to expand their knowledge about characters and that is fine, even if we don’t agree with said opinions. I know it is hard to be Bi-Han’s fan, as the man, both as Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot barely gets the proper recognition, be it from fans or source material and this has been happening for many years now - even though he is the first Sub-Zero on whose popularity Kuai Liang grew to be character in his own right. 

I do not have a doubt that Bi-Han and Kuai Liang shared true brotherhood and I’m right now truly tempted to write an essay on why elder Sub-Zero is not - and in fact has never been - inherently evil character and why we should not doubt that Kuai Liang’s love to him is not grounded in some delusioned idolization but for now I wish point out to all doubters this: original Bi-Han and cryomancer Kuai Liang were first and foremost survivors above any simplified fan idea of good or evil nature. The only person that tried to give them a normal (safe) life was a mother and the woman was presumably killed alongside their youngest sister by their own father. Ice brothers were just kids when that happened - and even if the mother somehow managed to save herself and the daughter and hid from Lin Kuei, she was still removed for good from her sons’ lives. They were abducted by their father, brought from America (their place of birth) to China, a totally different land and culture, to be raised in secrecy and isolation from the world they knew. None of them choose to be raised as assassins and as their respective stories showed, Lin Kuei would easily turn against them at any moment if any stepped out of line. In Mythologies, Bi-Han was called the most cunning assassin of Lin Kuei, but in the same game Sub-Zero outright said if he did not fulfill the task, he would be killed for failure. This comes from a man who was openly praised  by the Grandmaster personally and yet his life was the constant fight for survival, the “perform perfectly any impossible task” or “be killed”. If to survive Bi-Han needed to be a cold-blooded person he became one. If because of that he won’t fit into the cozy fan ideas and the silly labeling either “good" or "evil” without taking into account what shaped said character in the first place, then frankly, that is the problem of fans, not Bi-Han.

[unluckilyimnot]

“You’re like, in love with me?” With the Tsunderes of windbreaker? Fluff pls

1 “you’re like, in love with me ?” + sakura, kaji, toma

m.list | rules | from this

Note: hiii thank you sm for participating ! I got carry away with sakura this time, sorry. And I had toma there because it was the same number <3 hiragi fans are the sweetest for real 😭

Sakura never understood why he minded having you around. It made him nervous from time to time obviously; you were a little too comfortable around your friends, leading it to a lot of small touches or hugs which made him drive him crazy. But after spending time with you, he first of all realized why you were going along so well with Nirei, and then that you were just like this. He even comes to love spending time with you as you hang out with them after school, back there or at Kotoha’s place.

You were loved by many and to be honest, he slowly learned why despite himself. You weren’t a particularly smiling person, but you always spent time with your friends and the one you loved, talking for hours – giving them your time. In a way, you reminded him of Umemiya. It didn’t help how he felt around you though. You were always leaning onto him, asking a lot of questions – dying to know more about him – but it simply made him a blushing mess as he couldn’t express himself without screaming.

So he shouldn’t be surprised when you asked him to hang out when both of you ended up alone after school one day, he really shouldn’t. Panicking wasn’t really the best way to react, but at first he almost screamed at you to leave him alone but he’s got this intrusive thought that he’s boring to be around since he doesn’t talk much with you. Not that it means he didn’t care about you – he did ! A lot, even.

You grab his wrist at the gate to force him to come with you, nothing much in mind but still going as if you were the master of the world. You never minded doing all the talking with him, guiding him around the town even if he knew it by heart too now. Hanging out with you was easy in fact. You’re the type to walk around with a drink from some random vending machine and snacks from your friend’s parents' small shop. He likes it that way, he was used to it. It was familiar and sometimes he wondered if you were doing this on purpose.

“Oh there’s a park with a swing that way ! Let’s go,” you exclaimed, taking his wrist again and running to the location. He never has enough time to answer, he’s always screaming too late and he’s sure that’ll make you laugh – but it’s ok. Because you were the only person to make him do those things he used to do alone with someone.

“Push me !” you commanded with a big smile only for him, and even if he argued a bit he just started to do it with a blush on his cheeks. Your laugh was priceless, he couldn’t help it but accept anything you ask for. He just kept on pushing you again and again, even if you had enough run-up.

“Do you like it ?” asked at some point, your voice just loud enough for him to hear you. You were slowing up, you just wanted to talk with him now. He frowned at you from the side, he took a seat on the one next to you and started to swing back and forth lightly. “Hanging out with me, I mean.”

“Yeah… I guess. It was weird at first but you’re… nice.” He didn’t dare look you in the eyes but he could feel you smile from behind.

“Great, I like it too.” You shyly answer and it was your turn to look at your feet so you won't catch his eyes. 

“Hanging out with me ?” He asked, a little confused. 

“You in general, I think.” 

Sakura's face flushed in a second, and he wanted to leave so you'll never get to see how embarrassed he looked right now – but he tried to compose himself the best he could instead. He started acknowledging all the things you two did together and suddenly everything made sense to him : you were always doing things he likes or making him comfortable. So you knew how he felt around you. 

“You're like,” his throat was as dry as desert suddenly and he had to clear it before continuing, “in love with me ?” 

He heard you squeal but when he turned to your side to see what was wrong, your face was hidden in your hands. He catches your eyes glancing at home quickly.

“Maybe yes…”

You didn’t notice Kaji walking up to you until his hand pulled you behind him. You were arguing with some random guy in the street because he assumed you were walking into him – when you certainly didn’t. You almost feel bad for him when Kaji stepped in with some done-dirty glances because if he tried to fight him, he would lose. Not so surprisingly, he left right after that, almost making you sight in boredom.

“What are you sighing at, huh ? Stop getting into trouble for real.” Kaji nagged while turning around to look down at you. “Are you alright ?” he followed up, already looking around your arms and hands – since he still has your wrist in hand – without letting you place an answer to him.

You blushed at his behavior, it was natural, he swore to protect the people around here, but never once you’ve seen him act like this for others. His grip wasn’t tight at all, probably to prevent hurting you and you felt all weird inside because of his touch. Not that you weren’t used to it.

It wasn’t the first time you got into an argument with an unknown and thankfully for you, for some reasons Kaji’s always been around to help you. You’ve also lost count of how many times he had to carry you away from people because you were the actual problem, but it was another question. Things are, it never flustered you as much as it does now, even if it was simply holding lightly onto your wrist.

You pushed him away, assuring that you were ok for him to stop trying to scan you up ; it didn’t work. It does the actual opposite. Now he was sure that you were lying to him when you just wanted for him to take a step behind because your heart was racing in your chest, menacing to jump off of it. His cologne was intoxicating you and he was simply driving you crazy. You had to push his chest for him to let you breathe.

“You’re like, in love with me or something ? Why are you– ”

“Yeah, why would I bother saving your ass every time if not ?!” he cut you out before you could even end your sentence, with an angry look yet a small blush on his cheeks. “Now are you hiding something away from me or what ?!”

Your eyes widened but you still shook your head so he would stop screaming at you. That clearly didn’t help your heart slowing down, but now you just wanted to hide away from him and scream. How can he confess he loves you just like that ?! You were going crazy, thinking about a million things before he took your hand in his.

“Come, I was going to eat at first.” he explained without looking at you.

“Hum, ok. I’m paying, you know. To thank you.”

In the end, he couldn’t let you pay on the first date.

Toma never felt this bad in his entire life. He never wanted to walk into you and Tsubaki talking when he got to the rooftop. He was looking for Umemiya ; but based on the conversation you two were having, he figured out he wasn’t there either. So it bothered him, to not know where his boss was, but what was bothering him even more – making him anxious even – was that he just overheard something he shouldn’t have. His stomach started to hurt again.

You’ve always been close to Tsubaki more than any other captains, talking to them about any issues or insecurities – they all know you two shared secrets about others but none ever had the heart to confront you. He would’ve preferred for you to whine about his behavior, telling you that you couldn’t stand him than that.

“You should talk to him !” Tsubaki exclaimed out of nowhere, or maybe he was thinking too much to pay much attention to what you were saying until that.

“No never ! I already feel like I’m bothering him to tag along too much with his team,” you complained to yourself.

He sighs to himself, hearing you being unsure of yourself hurt him deeper than he thought it would. He needed to talk with you about it, but it will wait for a bit – he still needed to find Umemiya first.

Later that day, Toma decided to stay until you came down to leave and go back home. It was the best timing he could’ve thought of to not let you go home as down as you must have felt earlier. He was anxious, he had no idea how you’d react and even if he seemed calm with his arms crossed on his chest, he wasn’t at all.

“Toma ? Why are you still here ? It’s late already.” And he almost missed you on top of that, great. You tilted your head at him, checking if he was doing fine.

“Yeah I wanted to talk to you,” he said straight, not wanting to spend hours talking about it because it would just make it worse for the both of you. Tsubaki who was just behind you passed through, waving at you two as a silent goodbye.

You two stayed still in front of each other, you were waiting for him to talk but he knew it would be awkward. He didn’t know where to start, how could he tell you that he overheard you earlier ? It was getting messy.

“You’re like, in love with me ?” he asked you straight away in the end, but still unsure and obviously intimidated. You freeze at his question but it was only normal, it was coming out of nowhere from your perspective.

“I– I overheard you earlier when I was looking for Umemiya… I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you that you never bothered me or anyone. I actually like it a lot.” he was digging his own grave and your blush was now impossible to hide. He could tell that you were upset but at the same time there was a small, reassured smile on your lips that you couldn’t keep away.

“I am but I never plan on telling you like this…” you giggled a little bitterly, but you were still happy that it was done.

“You’re taking me home ?” you asked, daring him to in your tone and he couldn’t back down now. 

[cringe--is--dead]

𝕎𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕣 𝔹𝕠𝕪𝕤 + 𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤

Incl. Ren Kaji, Tasuku Tsubakino, Toma Hiragi, + Hajime Umemiya

Apologies some are longer than others!

ℝ𝔼ℕ 𝕂𝔸𝕁𝕀

ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ:

This man spends the entire day before your date staring in the mirror at himself and screaming into a pillow because; hello? He asked you on a date? And you agreed?

He is definitely the kind of guy who, when panicked, ghosts people. Not maliciously, but solely because when he's anxious he just avoids the situation in its entirety. You can thank Hiragi he doesn't do that this time.

Doesn't wear his headphones on your date, but does keep them around his neck, and if you're quiet enough you can faintly hear music playing from them. He keeps them close enough to focus on if he gets too anxious or too upset, but not on so he can hear you when you talk.

He keeps the suckers though; but if you had ever mentioned a favorite flavor of yours you'd be surprised to notice that these ones he's eating happen to be your favorite flavor.

You find yourself at an arcade with him; nothing too jam-packed because dealing with large crowds would not be fun, but it's not so empty that it feels awkward.

He definitely overthought it before you two arrived there, and is overthinking it while you two are there.

But he pays for all the tokens, buys you both sodas or waters or whatever you want, plays whatever games you want to or suggest, and it takes the third game for you to tell him to stop going easy on you and give you an actual challenge.

He ends up kicking your ass at almost every game you two played, but you win 2/5 rounds of air hockey, so you count that as a win.

Combines all your points/tickets at the end and sends you away so he can choose a prize for you; he ends up with fewer tickets than he thought so he ends up with a small, plushie of a whale. He's embarrassed, but it's soft and has the cutest beady eyes.

The date lasts for a few hours, and he walks you home, awkwardly brushing his pinky against yours before you take the initiative and take his hand.

Drops you off at your place with a kiss on the cheek

You text him a selfie of you in your PJs later that night, holding your whale plushie and he makes it his wallpaper almost immediately,

𝕋𝔸𝕊𝕌𝕂𝕌 𝕋𝕊𝕌𝔹𝔸𝕂𝕀ℕ𝕆

ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ:

Is the definition of looking cool on the outside, looking cool on the inside.

Is more excited than anything, no room for nerves, you on the other hand?

Who wouldn't be nervous? Have you seen Tsubaki?

He helps the pair of you plan your outfits days before, matching colors and patterns, hairstyles, and accessories.

The moment you two are out and about together you already look like a power couple; and with the confidence he holds your hand all your nerves disappear.

He takes it slow and simple; taking you for coffee and sweets, sitting outside on their cute patio to talk for literal hours.

He's the type of guy who wants you to try a sip of his drink and a bite of his food and is holding out his fork with a little bit of pastry on the end for you to eat. When he puts his fork down he tells you you have some icing on your face and wipes it off with his thumb, and then he puts his thumb in his mouth, it's such a small, and simple thing but your face is red can you tell who my favorite is?

You two go through a handful of drinks and sweets while sitting there, and for each new order he insists on going up and ordering for you, paying, and taking cute pictures of your drinks together whenever they're served really cute

Once you two are done at the cafe, and Tsubaki has plenty of new selfies with you and candids of you, you two go to a clothing shop that he had found, something small and locally owned, and I can imagine you two doing fashion shows for each other

My friends and I used to do this; but you two pick out outfits for each other, trying to make outfits that fit each others style or outfits you think the other would look amazing in

You take turns trying them on and showing them off; and no matter what Tsubaki is wearing he looks so absolutely amazing you forget how to breath a few times

You go with the notion that you’re window shopping and just trying clothes on for fun, but little do you know he buys himself your favorite outfit he wore and you your favorite outfit your wore

You try and argue against this but he just shuts you up with a kiss; hand cupping your jaw, tilting your head up softly, looking at you so soft and sweet before he’s leaning down to press his lips against yours, so feather light and sweet before he pulls back

You’re stunned into silence, face red and lips tinged the same shade as his lipstick

He tells you you both can wear the outfits on your next date, and takes your hand in his, continuing to a pastry shop that’s nearby

𝕋𝕆𝕄𝔸 ℍ𝕀ℝ𝔸𝔾𝕀

ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ:

He is the definition of looking cool on the outside, is terrified on the inside.

He had an entire box of gas-kun10 in the twelve hours before your date, and it takes everything out of him not to bring out a box on your date.

A gentleman; brings you flowers and picks you up early enough so you can put them in a vase of water before you leave.

I agree with a lot of head-canons that say he seems more traditional? In the gentleman, chivalry sense; and I agree

He holds his arm out for you to hold when you leave; walking closer to the street so you’re further away from any cars (regardless of how few) and any bikes going by

He definitely follows the movie and dinner thing; having genuinely, subtly found a movie coming out that you had wanted to see and taking you to a mid-afternoon showing

He buys your favorite drink and snacks

I imagine he also makes sure to bring his jacket (and hope you forgets yours) so in case the theatre is chilly he can lend you his jacket

It is chilly, and he does lend you his jacket

He also puts his arm around your shoulders while watching the movie; and everything he does is so cliche but dear god is your heart fluttering

He takes you to a nice restaurant afterwards, and you two have a quiet little table, talking about the movie, about the other Furin boys, about your school life and friends

He remembers your friends names and family members names and asks about how they are and just makes you feel so listened to

When he drops you off at home he literally asks if he can kiss you

Brushes your hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down your jawline, resting at your chin as he tilts your head upwards

He kisses you softly and slowly, no expectations behind the kiss; he lets you lead the kiss, lets you end the kiss when you want

It was a simple kiss yet the man leaves you winded

Calls you later that night to talk and unwind, planning another date for the following week

ℍ𝔸𝕁𝕀𝕄𝔼 𝕌𝕄𝔼𝕄𝕀𝕐𝔸

ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ:

I think he barges into Pothos to panic to Kotoha because he's never been on a date?

She helps as much as she can before kicking him out.

He debates a lot of ideas, literally has a list on his phone of ideas and pros and cons for each place, and he's read them out to literally everyone.

Poor Sakura almost had an aneurysm, Sugishita nodded along to every idea thrown his way, and Hiragi swore he had a stomach ulcer.

He picks you up in the early afternoon, and takes you to a local café; not Pothos (Kotoha threatened him to go somewhere else where his friends don't hang out); and you two snack on sweets, coffee, and tea before you go to the next place.

I imagine that this man still has to include some of his own interests, so he had found an open garden type park nearby— someplace with lots of flowers in bloom, butterflies and honey bees flying all around

It’s a beautiful place really; and he pays for a special bouquet for you, wrapped with a cute ribbon

You carry it around, and it ends up being the only thing he allows you to carry

He’s carrying your jacket, your purse, any bags from things you buy (he pays for, regardless of how much you argue)

The garden has little areas to sit and relax, and he’s offering to buy you any drinks or snacks, and turns the garden date into a mini picnic as well

He’s definitely the kind of guy to sit there and watch you, leaning on his hand with a dopey look on his face while you talk about anything— and the look on his face makes you feel so vulnerable and warm you find yourself stuttering and stammering without him even saying a word

When the sun starts setting he walks you home, and he’s the kind of guy who has an arm wrapped around your shoulders as you two walk, the tips of his fingers brushing against your bicep in an almost tickling way

He’s so sweet and happy when he drops you off at home, walking inside to put your stuff down because he still won’t let you carry any of your stuff, and he even starts putting any leftover food away without you asking

Like Hiragi, he asks if he can kiss you, and as soft as he was on the date, his kiss is closer to smoldering

It’s heavy, it’s fast, and it’s over so quick that your brain is reeling

He grins at you like he didn’t just physically steal your breath away, telling you goodnight, kissing your forehead before leaving

He texts you later that night, cute little plant pictures and promises for another date

𝔸/ℕ: I am very well aware that Tsubaki is in love with Umemiya (he and me both) BUT I am also way too in love and invested in the Great King that is Tsubakino so he's included. Also, this is my first go at writing for Windbreaker, so if anything is OOC or bad... I'm so sorry. I’ll hopefully get better! >.<

[whumpzone]

Tomas and Rowe - Part 18

Masterpost

@sola-whumping @just-another-whumper @misspelledwitch @looptheloup @briars7 @black-polarf @zipadeedooda-drabbles @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @rosesareviolentlyread @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jazz-0307 @kestrelsparverius @whumpsy-daisies @whumpersworld @memoriesneverforget @sky-or-something-idfk @cupcakes-and-pain @frankieswhump @ihaventwritteninsolong @mybrokenlittletoy @kiretto-laorentze @morelikepainsley @lavmars @tears-and-lilies @whump-me-all-night-long @newbornwhumperfly @itaina-anta @whump-it @haro-whumps @simplygrimly @alex-ember @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @mnmlover2002 @jordanstrophe @princessofonward @xmonster-under-the-bed @as-a-matter-of-whump @5boys1house @crystalrainwing @starnight-whump @chifechi @unicornscotty @penny-for-your-whump @getyourwhumphere @likeit-or-whumpit @jasm0307 @lightdrinker @hurting-fictional-people @captainseconds @glamrockgregory

CW: recovering pet whumpee, environmental whump, references to an amputated finger, paranoia/hallucinations

-

As he turned to lock the final door behind him, Rowe could see that he had been in a warehouse, evidently a rarely-used one. A single floodlight was on, illuminating nothing but a bare wall and the road leading up to it. Rowe had been correct- it was night. The open air was a thousand blessings as he breathed it in. His eyes felt clean, he could stand up properly, he wasn’t wearing that fucking collar anymore.

The happiness was short-lived, but he let himself have it. He was free. He just had to get home, now.

Rowe would have panicked, at that moment, but instead his heart toughened, because Kasia hadn’t been able to break him down. He was missing a finger, and the throbbing pain made sure he wouldn’t forget in a hurry, but he was still there, still himself. His nightmares would probably take a new form, and he wondered if he’d ever be able to sleep alone again, but he was fine. He was a Pet. He was a person. Surviving was a skill of his.

He rested a hand on the wall, making sure he was hidden in shadow, and let himself take some of the weight off his scarred leg. Burnt, smashed, sewn up and burnt again. He would be limping, by the time he got home. But get home he would, and in some way, it was thanks to his leg. He had been sat on his bed, back when he couldn’t walk, looking for something to distract him from the feelings of anger and uselessness and what if he throws me out?

So he’d looked down and practised his reading. He remembered it perfectly. Tomas G…Grz…. something… 12 h-a-r-t… Hartland Road… your Pet… s-p-l-i-n-t…. bed rest for up to one week…

Rowe had read the address, and perhaps even then he’d known he might one day need it. It didn’t solve the problem of knowing whereHartland Road was, or whether he’d make it there without being stolen or beaten up or killed, but he had to try.

Kidnapped, he thought. You’d only say stolen for a piece of property.

The warehouse was evidently on the outskirts of town. Was it the right town? Rowe thought so, as he studied the lights shining down the road. Several of the shapes were familiar to him. The colourful string bulbs that were hung up along the shopping streets, the glow from the theatre on the hill, the dark spot where the graveyard sat. From his bedroom window he had to crane to get a good look, but he could see it well from the office. He ached to be back there. In the warmth and familiarity of it. Back with- Master? The word sounded strange now. Especially since- since Rowe felt like he understood him now. Understood his intentions.

He started to walk. Kasia’s jacket rested on his shoulders, and he couldn’t bear to put his arms in. The idea alone made him feel trapped. The thing smelt distinctly of the bastard, but Rowe knew it was preferable to the cold of a dead night. He found a main road soon enough, built up above the rest of the grassy flatland, so he gingerly climbed down the hill and walked alongside. He would be hidden from passing cars well enough, but his bare feet soon began to take the brunt of the choice of rough land over tarmac. Stones, sticks, was that roadkill, oh, god, all were littered through his journey which was only sparsely lit by the occasional road light. After a particularly sharp stone, or possibly even a discarded glass bottle, Rowe knew his foot was bleeding. He ground his teeth together. It wasn’t real if he couldn’t see it. And right now, he couldn’t see his own hand in front of him.

He kept his eyes on the lights from the town before him, slowly drawing closer.

He thought he heard footsteps behind him, running closer with horrifying speed. As they drew near he could hear Kasia screaming at him.

You think you can fucking get away from me? You think you locked that collar? You really think I won’t come back?

He kept his eyes fixed on the town. “It-it-it’s n-not real,” he whispered past the lump in his throat. He was trembling with fear. “It’s not real, I locked him up, I st-stopped him, it’s not real, it’s not.”

The paranoia wouldn’t leave him, though. Every passing car, though they were few and far between, made him jump and crouch down, hands clamped over his mouth. He couldn’t shake the fear that it was Kasia after him, out searching for the rotten escaped Pet. His leg burst with pain every time, making him whimper and cry when he tried to stand back up.

The sounds of footsteps gradually stopped, and Kasia’s voice faded, but Rowe could still feel his hands clawing at him. His back tingled with the overwhelming sensation that someone was behind him, creeping up and reaching out to grab-

Against his better judgement, he turned back. Darkness there, and nothing more. “Fuck, f-fuck, keep it together,” he muttered.

Just up ahead, he could see streetlamps. Proper ones, glowing a gentle orange. He went as far as he could along the grass, then climbed up, wetting his hands in the dew. He checked for cars, and seeing none, scrambled fully onto the road.

He realised he couldn’t run anymore- his leg would give out, or he wouldn’t be able to contain a howl of pain- so he limped as quickly as he could towards the next patch of shadow, over and over.

Eventually he came upon a sign: Welcome to….

It was half shadowed, but it was a map. He pushed himself up on his tip-toes, eyes scanning the jumble of letters and lines and symbols. Eventually he spotted it. Hartland Road. He traced the direction in his head, making sure it was committed to memory, although he knew he wouldn’t forget it even if someone tried to beat it out of him. And then, he started walking.

He couldn’t tell exactly what time it was, but he would have guessed around three or four in the morning. The pub, as he passed it, was quiet, although he still kept his distance, hugging the shadows.

He soon reached the base of the hill he knew he’d have to climb. As he started to ascend, he saw the Pet hospital in the distance. Oh god, would he have to go back there to get his finger treated? He pushed the question to the back of his mind. If he did, there wasn’t anything he could do.

A few cars drove by, as he walked. He wanted to duck into one of the smaller streets that branched off, but he had only memorised one route home, and he didn’t trust himself to improvise in the dark. So instead he squared his shoulders, stopped hunching, tried his best to look like a person walking home in his heavy jacket, not afraid, not prey. It didn’t feel quite right, but it was easier than he’d expected. And it worked- no cars stopped, no one seemed to give him a second glance.

He finally reached the street, the name lit up. Hartland Road. The sign was scuffed, like kids had popped the cap off their beers along its edge. It was fixed to the wall of a garden, weeds poking out through the bricks, a flyer from the council tied at eye-level to the neck of the streetlamp. Rowe took everything in as he walked. The bicycle clipped to a fence, the parked cars, the black bins left out for collection. Before, he never would have taken notice. None of it had mattered. But now, Rowe felt as if he had a new connection to the world around him. He could interact with it. He wasn’t leashed or under the watchful eye of an owner, he wasn’t crawling or blindfolded in the boot of a car. He was in pain, yes, but he was always in pain, so constantly that it hardly registered anymore. He was free.

Rowe didn’t recognise the house itself. The only times he’d ever left it, he’d been unconscious, or practically so.

But when he turned around, he saw the same view he’d had from his bedroom window every morning and night. He was home.

He remembered Kasia’s key, but it no longer fit into the front door. The lock must have been changed. Rowe hated that the alternative was to make a loud noise, at this hour, but perhaps that was the smarter way than simply slipping inside like- like Kasia. So he hesitantly pressed down on the doorbell, hitting his fist against the wood as well. He waited. He thought about how he’d never rung a doorbell before in his life.

Silence. Rowe wasn’t exactly surprised, but his heart still tightened. Suddenly the fresh air didn’t feel freeing, it felt exposed. He rang again, knocking harder, not giving up. Surely he would know it was urgent? Surely he would come down, and Rowe would get to see his face again?

Faintly, he heard the creaking of the stairs. “I-I-It’s me!” he said, hushed. “It’s me, I…”

His words died as the door slowly opened. Half a face, an eye framed by blond curls peered out, full of apprehension. In a heartbeat it landed on Rowe and widened, and the door flew open.

“Tomas,” Rowe said, loving how it felt to say his name, loving him, loving everything. “I’m back, I, I’m back, I’m back.”

Tomas raised a hand over his mouth, and for once he was the one shaking. “Oh my god… oh my god.”

And then he was reaching both arms out for Rowe with a sob. Rowe threw the horrible jacket to the ground and fell into him, wrapping his arms around his waist and holding on tight. He couldn’t have known whose knees failed first, but suddenly they had collapsed on the floor, clinging onto each other, not leaving a shred of space between as they both cried. Soaked in the orange light that pooled through the still-open front door.

[justnerdthings]

Frigid Heart Ch. 5

F!Reader x Bi-Han

Surprise!

A little short. But here you go.

@poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @whitelotusfighter @icy-spicy @crazytxgradstudent @d-taslim @bihansthot @legends-of-apex @lillikue @missroro @shang-hung

To say the Grandmaster was impressed with you would have been an understatement. You could feel Lily’s eyes bore into the back of your head as she followed you and the Grandmaster through the halls. You had been cleaned up and given a clean hanfu--a nicer one. You were beyond thankful for the gift, but the Grandmaster was wise. He could see the worry behind your eyes. And he could sense Lily’s hostility. She had begun to grate against his nerves… But he understood her frustration. Who were you to come in and turn out be so full of surprises. He’d surely rile up Lily later on. He may have enjoyed her a being a tad jealous. But for now, he would ignore her behavior. You were much easier to look at anyway.

“Were all Snow Ninja servants as loyal as you?” he asked you.

You glanced up to him, then quickly looked away. “We’re raised to be loyal. If we aren’t loyal, we’re disposed of. I’m sure it’s the same here, Grandmaster.”

“Ah. Yes, we do expect loyalty. But such loyalty--to protect their masters? That is a rare treat for the Lin Kuei. Only a handful of girls have ever wielded our blades.”

“There is no use in weak servants,” You repeated the old mantra your former masters had taught you.

The Grandmaster rose his brows at your words, considering them for a moment before giving a single nod. “I suppose that is correct. To an extent.”

You sucked in a deep breath. You couldn’t help it anymore. This was eating away at you. “What happens to me if Sub-Zero dies?” You asked.

He chuckled and waved his hand dismissively. “Who said Sub-Zero will die?”

“Those injuries—”

“I assure you, dear. He has endured much worse.”

You stiffened being called ‘dear.’ You heard a noise of displeasure behind you. Lily didn’t seem to like it either. “But, if he does, Grandmaster…” you cautiously pressed.

“If he does die, then I’m sure you’ll be picked up by another Lin Kuei assassin.”

“I won’t be sold, will I?”

He chuckled. “Perhaps. Though I imagine Tundra would offer to take you. He would have first rights to Sub-Zero’s belongings.”

That was right. That’s what you were. You were one of Sub-Zero’s belongings. You were just a piece of property.

“Though, I wouldn’t mind having you for myself,” the Grandmaster said. Your jaw stiffened and he had noticed. His brows rose. “That does not please you?”

You weren’t sure what to say, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Ah, so you’ve already heard about my girls.” He nodded “I am not unkind to my girls, I assure you. But they are mine. I do what I will with them. I have the means to offer them any pleasures they wish. I only ask for loyalty in return… and one other thing.”

You glanced to him. Once he noticed he’d piqued your interest, he’d smirked.

“A son,” he answered your curiosity. “Throughout the years, I have been given nothing but daughters. God seems to mock me. He denies me a rightful heir. Try as I might, I have not one son to speak of. Perhaps it’s a curse for the horrible things I have done in my life. But I will keep trying until my death.”

Well, now that just made sense. He had so many breeding women because he was trying desperately to have a son. But was it true that he was kind to them? And what of all these daughters?

You were suddenly reminded of Snowflake. She had been raised in the palace, but she didn’t know who her parents were… Was she one of the Grandmaster’s daughters? Did he… Did he just give them away? Your jaw hardened more.

“You wonder where all my daughters are,” the Grandmaster said with an understanding nod. “Dead.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Dead? All of them?

“But, that is a story for another day. You’re worried for Sub-Zero.” He stopped at a door which Lily moved to open. He motioned for you to go on ahead, then followed you into the large room.

It was full of injured assassins. Those knowledgeable in medicine were helping whoever they could. Servants were running back and forth, desperately trying to keep up with demand. Lily pushed herself towards the back of the room and you followed.

Bi-Han was laid out on a bedroll. His robes had been removed so his wounds could be properly assessed. A sheet had been draped over him for his own decency. Kuai was seated next to his brother and looked up as you appeared. He stiffened as he noticed the Grandmaster follow you. He bowed his head respectfully. “Grandmaster.”

“Tundra. How is Sub-Zero?” The Grandmaster asked, stepping closer.

“He’s lost a lot of blood. But he will live,” Kuai answered, then watched as you sat on the other side of Bi-Han.

“Very good. I had faith he would pull through.”

“Yes, Grandmaster.” Kuai nodded.

“I trust until he recovers, you will take responsibility for…” He suddenly became aware that you had not told him your name. He looked to you for it.

You frowned and looked away with a shake of your head. You were still nameless.

“Ah. Well, no matter.” He dismissed it with a wave and looked back to Kuai, who had turned his attention back to you. Kuai heaved a sigh, but nodded.

“Yes, Grandmaster,” he agreed.

“Good. And do tell me when he wakes. I would like to speak with him.”

Kuai bowed his head respectfully. You did the same. The Grandmaster smirked at both of your obedience before turning to leave, Lily at his heels.

_________

Bi-Han’s eyes shot open. His vision was horribly distorted. His lungs were burning. Where was he? Why couldn’t he breathe? Why was it so hot?

It took so much effort to even lift his head, never mind pulling at the chains around his wrists and ankles. He opened his mouth to speak… his throat felt as though he’d swallowed jagged rocks. A grunt escaped him.

As his vision began clearing, he could make out the figure of someone--someTHING standing several feet away. It was blacker than any black he’d ever seen with just as dark wisps dancing over it. Glowing white eyes were locked on him. “Who… Where am I?” Bi-Han managed to choke out.

The figure chuckled and caused Bi-Han’s chest to rumble with the deep resonance. “Home,” it answered.

Bi-Han’s brows knotted. He glanced around at the vast wasteland. No matter how hard he tried to suck in air, nothing soothed the empty burning in his chest. He wouldn’t have been able to describe it if anyone asked. It was like suffocating, but to no end. Death would not come. Even his heart had stopped beating. Agonizing pain radiated through his body as his muscles and organs were denied blood… What was this icy burn that washed over him? Was it… Panic?

“This… is not home,” he forced out, voice shredded.

“Oh. But it will be. Soon.”

“You speak in riddles.”

The figure chuckled again and disappeared from Bi-han’s view. Bi-Han was suddenly hoisted up by the chains and slammed back against a wall of black fire. He cried out as the flames burned his skin, blistering it instantly. And just as with the pain in his chest, relief would not come… And neither would ice as he tried to will it in an effort to protect himself.

Panicked voices soon filled his ears. Opening his eyes, he was faced with the Lin Kuei village in chaos, the palace and surrounding homes burning to the ground. No one seemed to notice him as he struggled against the chains. Smoke now filled his aching lungs, making them burn more. Trying to shout just made it worse. What was going on? Who had attacked them? Who had set fire to the village?

Kuai had run past him, into the blazes, summoning ice in attempts to combat the flames. Sektor and Cyrax were trying to evacuate the assassins and servants. Tomas was nowhere to be seen--he may have just blended in with the rest of the smoke. The Grandmaster collapsed as the smoke overwhelmed him. Lily laid lifeless on the ground next to him. Burned bodies laid everywhere. But you… Where were you? His eyes desperately searched the scene for you.

That demonic chuckle muted the sounds of the chaos around him before it all faded away. No. Wait. He hadn’t spotted you yet!

“She will perish just as the others,” that voice told him.

Bi-Han’s eyes snapped over to the figure. He choked on his words. “What is this?”

“This is where you become your true self.”

“What?”

“Do you not recognize yourself?”

Bi-Han’s brows knotted and the figure appeared in front of him, face only inches from his.

Those eyes… Those were… his.

“Don’t look so surprised. You knew you would end up here someday.”

Bi-Han’s jaw hardened.

“Welcome to Hell.”

No…

“Too bad you can’t stick around. This would have been fun. But, you’re not quite ready.”

“For what?” He hissed.

“To conquer Netherrealm.”

“What?”

The figure--a twisted version of himself--had chuckled again before everything faded away.

[cupcakey00]

It’s Just Instinct, Pt. 2

hello, everyone! here’s part 2 of “It’s Just Instinct,” a super short Nessian fic! there will indeed be a part 3. Highkey don’t like this part nearlyyyyy as much as I did part 1, but still, I hope you enjoy :)

part 1

words: 3,321

warning: there is some foul language.

______________________________________________________________

Cassian couldn’t let go of Nesta no matter how hard he’d tried, couldn’t keep his hands off her. Not while she was injured. It was but a shallow cut, one a child’s mother would kiss and bandage before sending them off to continue playing, and yet he couldn’t stop the quiver in his hands as his fingertips traced the raised skin around the minor wound, his touch a sorrowful prayer against her skin, one that Cassian couldn’t begin to understand why Nesta would let him do after he’d failed her once again.

They sat in silence, Nesta atop the counter in their bathroom, Cassian standing between her legs. Nesta knew he needed time to think, to process his emotions before they could discuss. She was the same way. How she longed to speak with him, wished he’d let her in, but still she waited. She waited and she watched as he applied a healing salve and bandage to it as though her life was on the line, emotions turbulent across his face, with lips pursed one moment but not the next, eyebrows furrowed for one instant then smooth, eyes hard and then…well, Nesta couldn’t tell.

That was worrisome.

He finished dressing her wound, his hands resting in her lap, and still they were silent. Cassian could have burned holes through the bandage he was staring at from how angry he was, as though the bandages themselves caused her hurt, wronging her.

Breathing shakily, he let his hands trail gently to her hips up her sides, handling her with the sincerity one might cradle a porcelain doll, halting once he reached her waist. Nesta was expecting him to pick her up, so she leaned forward into his body, but Cassian tensed for a split second before returning what he thought was going to be an embrace.

Nesta could have wept from the gentleness in his movements, as though he was too afraid to breathe. She could feel his heart racing through his leathers, and still he hadn’t dared draw her too close.

In the past, Nesta would have been insulted by his actions. “I’m not a child,” she’d have snapped. “I’m not made of glass, Cassian,” she’d have said.

But over time, she gleaned that some days, he simply needed to hold her, needed her to stay close. She didn’t know why, but she knew that one day, he’d be ready to tell her, and when he was, he would. Eventually, Cassian would be able to tell her there were moments he wasn’t sure if this was real, or if he was living a dream where Nesta was a figment of his imagination. Sometimes he had to remind himself the war was over, not because it hurt him so personally, but because he couldn’t be sure Nesta was really alive, that she had truly made it out, or if his mind had conjured up her memory to keep him sane. There were periods where he couldn’t be sure if he was alive, or if he was in the hell he knew he was destined to go, that in some 300, or 400, or 5,000 years down the line, whatever cruel god traversed the underworld would reveal it all to be a lie, that he and Nesta had never really had that time at all. That the king of Hybern had killed them that day; that the ruler of Hell wanted not only to rip Cassian’s only true joy from him, but give him a sliver of the pain he’d caused thousands through bloodshed and loss over his 500-year lifetime.

Sometimes, Cassian didn’t know if that was the common sense speaking, or the guilt.

Maybe it was both.

Cassian knew he couldn’t go on like that forever, but still he could not say anything. He didn’t know how. Some days he was a bit quieter, a bit more reserved, and, when he’d hold her close, more tightly than usual, his eyes would burn with the need to blink, something he’d refrain from doing for fear he’d give in and she’d be gone, having never been there at all.

Nesta couldn’t take the pain and fear she felt through the bond. He held her there, head tucked into her neck, inhaling her scent, breathing soft whisps of air onto her skin. With his right hand splayed across her back, left hand in her hair keeping her head resting next to his, and her body pressed against him, her beating heart was a tattoo on Cassian’s chest. She was Cassian’s lifeline.

Nesta didn’t know what was wrong, but she felt deep within her soul that Cassian was barely holding on. He was suffocating although there was air, drowning despite not being submerged, dying without any wounds, and no longer could she wait. For this, for Cassian, she’d have to push, no matter how hard it’d hurt either of them.

She reached around, drawing his body even closer to her, and as she tightened her arms a bit more than usual, she felt him release a shaky breath, body relaxing but arms unrelenting.

She didn’t know that with this one action, she convinced Cassian this moment was real.

Nesta turned her head, peppering kisses to his temple until she felt his heart rate slow from its panicked staccato and his erratic breathing calm to the whisper of a baby’s breath. It could have been two minutes or 20 years, and still she would have held him. They had all the time in the world.

Eventually, Nesta drew her hands across his back up to his face, lifting his head. When he looked into her eyes, she leaned forward and kissed him sweetly, slowly, savoring the feeling of home.

“Cassian,” she started. “It’s more than just the mating bond, isn’t it?”

She was jumping right into it, Cassian realized with a jolt. No preamble, no introduction, nothing. His eyes widened and his breath held, the moment between them gone. He couldn’t maintain eye contact, so he stepped back and looked to the doorway.

Wordlessly, Nesta hopped from the counter and interlaced their fingers, leading the way to the den. She opted for their couch instead of the armchair, sitting next to him and released a shiver at the cold feel of the fabric on her skin. Cassian stood immediately and approached the fireplace to their left, a small part of him happy for the delay igniting the fire brought. Even though they had worked through Nesta’s trigger, he was still cautious about monitoring her body language. Trauma wasn’t always consistent, nor did it have to make sense. He knew that well enough.

Fire roaring next to them, Nesta’s body tensed such a minuscule amount that Cassian really shouldn’t have noticed, yet he did. He wanted to put it out, but he knew that’d only upset her. Instead he looked to her, facing the fire with her spine straight and chin lifted, eyes hardened as though she was in a battle of wits with her most formidable enemy.

“Scoot over,” Cassian forced out; he was tense. She did, making more room for him. He sat down and removed his boots, swinging one leg between the couch and Nesta so he could lean back, tugging her body to his chest, his arms around her, hands resting atop hers on her stomach. They lay together, fire going behind them, making the only sound in the room.

Nesta turned so her chest was touching his abdomen, laying the side of her head over his beating heart. She closed her eyes once Cassian’s hands began playing with a lock of the hair she let down once they reached home, reducing her to mush. She almost forgot why they were there.

“Cass,” she started, same as before. “We need to talk about this.”

Cassian’s hands stilled for a few seconds before resuming, going up to her scalp and massaging.

“I know.”

“It’s not just your instincts, is it?” She already knew the answer.

Cassian gulped. “Not always. Not– today. Sometimes it’s– it’s more. It’s worse. A lot of things.”

Nesta waited for him to continue. She was already pushing him as is. He wasn’t used to opening up. Cassian was the friend you went to when you needed advice, and not the other way around.

“You have to understand that my instincts, Nesta, they’re– they’re probably a bit worse than the average mated male’s. There’s the mating bond, but I’m also a warrior. Fighting is in my blood. I am the best living warrior in all of Prythian.” There was no pride in voice, he was simply stating a fact.

“I think that makes it worse. I’m not used to having rein myself in; the only time I’ve ever been even close to snapping is right before a battle, when my instincts are homing in for a fight. Add in the mating bond? Fuck, Nesta, some days I think it’d be better to lock us both in here than have to go outside.” Cassian couldn’t help wincing, but honestly, Nesta was surprised. She’d never thought about it, but it made sense. Fighting was his language, perhaps the one he knew best. To have to fight against it when for over 500 years it was a part of him? He was, perhaps quite literally, fighting a losing battle.

“And I’m working on it, I swear. I’m trying. You deserve better, you deserve someone who can not only treat you right, but protect you while respecting your autonomy, but fuck, Nesta, sometimes it’s just so fucking hard. I can’t fucking stand seeing you get hurt, and I can’t stand seeing the males or females look at you with that interest they’ve developed once they figured out you’d have killed them by now if you wanted to.” He was scowling, and sometime during his admission, his strong hands left her hair and formed fists. His knuckles were turning white.

Nesta couldn’t believe she was mated to a male like Cassian. With Tomas, the only other semi-serious relationship she’d had, he tried taking from her what she wouldn’t give, injuring her in the process until she’d managed to escape. She’d burned the torn dress to forget. Cassian, on the other hand, was killing himself inside to keep from overstepping, even when he felt she was in danger. Truly polar opposites. She was glad.

“Cassian, you’ve been doing well,” she said as she took hold of his hands, undoing the fists. “I know it’s been nearly impossible, but you’ve been doing it. Eventually, it’ll get easier. You’ll get accustomed to it.”

She didn’t understand, not really. “It’s not just– it’s not just that, Sweetheart. It’s the whole past. It’s the fact that I tried keeping you safe multiple times, and multiple times I failed. I failed to keep you from the Cauldron, I failed to keep you safe from the King of Hybern, Hell I almost lost you to Bryaxis. I have constantly failed you, Nesta. And I’m scared that one day, my failures will come to their final fruition and that’ll be it, you’ll be gone. Dead. Because I can’t keep you safe.”

She opened her mouth to speak but paused, feeling his trepidation through the bond. There was more. He hadn’t even gotten to the worst part yet. Instead, she rubbed across his knuckles, back and forth, feeling the ridges of each one, the dips that separated them.

“Sometimes I can’t tell if this is real.”

Nesta’s heart dropped.

“I can’t– I can’t tell if we made it out of the war. I can’t tell if you did, or if you’re a figment of my imagination that everyone goes along with or else the Commander of the Illyrian armies will go insane. They may hate me, but none can deny my skill. They need me.

“Sometimes I wait for the rug to be pulled beneath me, to find out I’m actually dead and that neither of us lived through the war with Hybern. That some cruel being in the Underworld wanted to give me a taste of what could have been before ripping it from me, leaving me mourning memories I never had – memories with you.”

Tears pricked Nesta’s eyes, and at the scent of their salt, Cassian lifted Nesta’s head so her chin was resting on his chest, staring deeply into his eyes. Nesta hadn’t seen so much sorrow in them since that moment on the battlefield before he’d kissed her, ready to die in each other’s arms.

“Sometimes I wait to wake up from what I can only describe as a dream.”

His voice wavered.

“My biggest fear, Nesta, is not that I can’t keep you safe. My biggest fear is that you never made it out alive for me to keep you safe to begin with.”

Finally her tears fell, throat constricted so tight it hurt. She couldn’t speak. Of all the things he could have said, this felt like the worst. It was one thing to fear for her safety, to war with his instincts to protect at whatever cost.

It was another to not know if these instincts were in vain.

“And I– I know it makes no sense. If you were a figment of my imagination, there’s no way everyone would go along with it, to act like you were alive, nor do I think Rhysand or Azriel would let me live my life like that. And it– it feels too real to be a dream. But sometimes I just can’t tell. I can’t tell if it’s a dream, or if it’s Hell. I don’t think the heavens would welcome me.”

Nesta didn’t know if she should be sad or angry. There was a lot to unpack.

“So when you get hurt, and I’m ready to maim and kill, that’s instinct. That’s instinct, that’s love, that’s being a warrior. But back in there, in the bathroom, it was more. It was my failure to protect you. It’s that I always seem to fail, and I wonder if my failure on the battlefield left you dead for a second, more permanent time. The Cauldron killed you once, and sometimes I’m not sure if the King of Hybern then did too. Do you hear what they say about me, Nesta? They think me similar to Enalius. What utter fools. They don’t even realize they insult him by comparing us.”

“Cassian,” Nesta spoke with resolve. Now she really was angry, although her eyes were rimmed with red. “You haven’t failed me, you big oaf.” Cassian frowned at that.

“You did everything you could. You risked your life, your wings to lead the King of Hybern away from me, and you did. It’s not your fault we almost died. You saved me. I would’ve been dead at the hands of Hybern if you hadn’t stepped in.”

He was unconvinced.

“Cassian,” she now whispered imploringly, “you are enough. I love you, and you are worthy.” Her voice rose, symphonious preaching to Cassian or the heavens, he couldn’t tell.

“You deserve peace and love and happiness; you deserve a life where you don’t blame yourself for things that were out of your control. You tried your hardest, and Love I know it hurts but you need to let go.” She grasped his hands tightly as his eyes shone with tears.

“Forgive yourself. Stop regretting the past. There’s nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is enjoy the present and dream about the future.”

She rested her forehead against his, eyes closed as she spoke impassionedly, hands caressing his cheeks. She couldn’t see Cassian’s wide eyes, flooded with childlike wonder at the goddess who knelt before him.

“If you won’t forgive yourself for your sake,” she whispered, “then forgive yourself for mine, because I love you and I want you to be happy. You make me happy, Cassian. After all the Cauldron put me through, it was worth it, because it gave me you. It gave us time that we’d never have without it. We have eternity together, Cassian. I can’t convince you that it’s real, but I ask that even if you think it’s not, you enjoy it.” Though her voice was nearly inaudible, he heard every word, could see the tears threatening to spill from her closed eyes. Their lips grazed as she spoke. She was so close.

“If you can’t yet accept this isn���t a dream, then in the meantime, let it be the best one you’ve ever had. Let yourself enjoy these moments together, because if you don’t, one day you’ll realize all of this is real, and you’ll regret having held yourself back.”

Her eyes opened and immediately narrowed.

“Now what the fuck was that about going to Hell?”

Cassian threw his head back and burst out laughing.

He couldn’t help it; it was so unexpected. One second she was praising him, blessing him with the reassurance he seemed to need more often than not but wouldn’t deign to ask for, and the next she was chastising him.

“Sweetheart,” he began, “you don’t kill the amount I have and get welcomed by the gods with open arms,” he admitted. She rolled her eyes and huffed. Clearly she lacked the patience for his stupidity.

“Cassian, you have a fucking warrior-god. Do you think Enalius is in Hell right now?”

…Cassian supposed not.

“And there are literally death gods. Are they in Hell right now?”

“Sweetheart, no matter what you say in bed, you can’t keep comparing me to gods right now. That’s borderline blasphemous.” The cheeky bastard. Never mind that none of them could be completely sure he wasn’t descended from Enalius after all.

Now she just glared.

Cassian cleared his throat, “Point taken.”

She scowled for a moment longer before her eyes softened.

“I know that we’ve been over this before. That you are enough, you are worthy, but Cassian, you need to tell me when you’re feeling less than. You need to talk to me.” A hand reached up to stroke his cheek again as she straddled him.

“You’ve helped me so much, Cass. I don’t think I’d be here right now if it wasn’t for you.” At this, he flinched. He couldn’t imagine a life without Nesta, couldn’t imagine the pain she’d been through after the war. By the time they mated, she was healthier, happy. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he could’ve lived if he felt the pain his Nesta had gone through.

But, like a phoenix, she arose from her ashes, silver flames licking her skin, her fingertips, her hair. Over the past few months she spent with him in Illyria, she became one with herself. Cassian didn’t think he knew anyone stronger.

The gods had nothing on Nesta. That, Cassian did know.

“Cass, I’m not going to lie to you, nor do I want you to lie to yourself. You’ve caused people pain, that you know, but neither of us are innocent. Both of us have hurt people, have hurt ourselves. Both of us have been held prisoners of our minds for far too long.”

She had an impossibly gentle aura around her, so at ease.

“All we can do is accept it and promise not to let the bad days win.”

Cassian didn’t think it was possible to love someone so fucking much.

Never daring to break eye contact, he grasped one of her hands in his, interlacing their fingers, while using his other to grab her free one, leaving a soft kiss atop each knuckle.

Then he opened her palm and sucked on the tip of her index finger.

“Cassian!” she admonished, blush flushing to the swell of her breasts.

He could only laugh.

Drawing her in for a kiss, one hand on her waist, the other fisted in her hair, he knew he wasn’t fine yet. Neither of them were, but eventually, they’d get there.

Together.

______________________________________________________________

AAAAAAH I hope you enjoyed!!! I made myself cry while writing this LMAOOOO. I’m excited for part 3!! we’ll finally see what really happens when Cassian can’t hold back...

tag list: @arinbelle @letstakethedawn @queenofbloodshed @thewayshedreamed @bookstantrash @allilal @illyrianshadowhunter @rainbowcheetah512 @skychild29

[tamyrawilliams]

after @sagetomashardy got pushed down the waterfall, tamyra finds him struggling in the relentless river. they are not having a good time

Time slowed down.

Tomas hit the water like dead weight (bad choice of words, yeah, but what the fuck else could you call it) and sank, slow, as water pummeled down atop him and shoved him deeper. It was all right. He was still tied up, hands bound, but any moment his air attunement would kick in and he could get out into calmer water, get himself free, drag himself up out of the fast-running river that went out to the sea.

--NT now any moment it would kick in NOW NOW NOW--

Except as his lungs started to strain, and then to burn, as Tomas wriggled as best he could towards flowing water, he realized: nothing was happening. His air was evaporating and nothing was replacing it. And his hands stayed tied, and the current picked up, and Tomas slammed into a rock that knocked any of his remaining  breath from him as he started to rocket downstream.

Towards the open sea. If he managed to not get his skull cracked wide along the way, or drown for good.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra stumbled onto the river and it gave her some relief and hope. The moment when the mango died down was freaky, but this was just the water and maybe, just maybe if she followed its path, she could finally get the hell out of this hellhole. There was a reason she didn't go into the jungle and just like the last time, once again she was proven right again about why she had that rule.

Suddenly a big, struggling shadow in the water and her first instinct was that it had to be something else the jungle was throwing at her. After the bearlike creature, some freaky, horrible huge fish would leap out of the water and attack her.  But a double take made her realize it was in fact a person.

Not just a person - Tomas. Struggling, almost as if he was drowning. But that couldn't be it, he could breathe underwater.  It didn't matter, though. It didn't matter what happened, if he panicked or not, Tomas was in trouble and Tamyra wasn't just going to let him drown right in front of her. She was moving before she even finished the thought, jumping into the water and swimming as hard as he could to catch up with him.

She caught up with him what felt like too long, and she was immediately pulling him up, up, up so he could breathe, and gasped for air herself when they surface, Tamyra holding Tomas up and out from behind him. "Breathe, Tomas, breathe! I'm here, I'll help, just please hold on."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Layers of panic had wrapped around Tomas with each second ticking by where he couldn't free himself, couldn't breathe, couldn't do much more than push with his legs every now and again when they hit anything solid. His lungs were aching, burning, he couldn't tell up from down, and when something wrapped around him he struggled hard for just a moment before his strength gave out.

Tamyra wrenched them to the surface and Tomas whooped in great big gasps of breath, not hearing any words in her voice, just filled with animal need to get away and escape and survive. He kicked backwards, reaching forward with his bound hands towards the grasses growing near the bank of the river; his foot connected with Tam's shin, hard, but Tomas was past caring. All he could think about was getting out of the water, out, out, fucking out.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra hissed when Tomas' foot connected to her shin, but she was mostly focused on keeping Tomas above the surface and trying to move them out of the river. She could feel the water, she could feel it bursting inside of her, and yet instead of controlling the river, getting the water to move them towards safety, there were random burst of water coming up from the river like small geysers and then a huge shove came that pushed them towards a bigger rock and Tamyra moved them in the last moment so she would be the one colliding with the rock instead of Tomas.

Tamyra groaned in pain but still she reached out and grabbed the rock and held on, holding them like that for a few moments to collect her strength and then started moving Tomas towards the green, out of the river where hopefully they could be left the fuck alone for just a few moments.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

The water tried to get them back. That was the only way Tomas could think about it at the moment; the water had been discontent with not having drowned him thirty years ago, and it wanted to finish the job, and he didn't want to let it. Not now. Not after having built this life with people he cared about and having been given his wife back again, no, the water couldn't have him.

"Tam," Tomas gasped, "don't let go of me--" not that she would, but he needed to say it, collecting his wits enough to help her move them towards the riverbank. All he could do was kick, scrabbling when his feet hit riverbed, and Tomas lurched forward and fell smack against the rushes and dirt and pebbles where the water shallowed. Out of the rushing flow of water...

...and then something grabbed his thigh, yanking. A vine, of course, wrapping and re-wrapping around him and dragging him backwards up from the bank. Tomas didn't even have the energy to call out for Tamyra -- who was probably being subjected to the same treatment, the jungle wasn't picky at this point -- and all he could do was wildly take in his surroundings as he was dragged along the ground, before the vine decided to hoist him into the air. It took a moment but Tomas caught sight of something promising, and he rolled his weight to one side as he was dragged, hooking his bound hands around a cluster of the freshwater mussels (inedible, highly allergy-inducing) that grew near some of the island's waterways. The shells were sharp and they cut through his skin and the bonds without prejudice, but they cut through, was the important part, and Tomas dug out a tangle of them and slashed at the vine around his leg. It retreated with an unsettling creaky cry, letting him tumble to a stop, and Tomas lay there for a while before getting up on his hands and knees, then his feet. "Tam?" he called, starting to stagger in her direction. "Tam? Tamyra!"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra reached after Tomas when the vines yanked him away, but she didn't have a chance to help because vines were wrapping around her and dragging her away as well-- and then she was back in the fucking river, with her nose filled with water that shot a searing pain up her nose. She was trying all her might to control the water and push herself out of the river or even slow the river down so she could just walk out and help Tomas get his hands untied (and maybe ask what happened there) and make sure he was breathing, but no matter what she did, it seemed like the water was not responding and she just felt more and more tired.

And then suddenly she was thurst out of the water through what was a fucking geyser and Tamyra let out a loud curse before she landed hard and painful on the ground and she groaned and rolled over to her back to get herself together enough at least to get to Tomas, make sure he was okay. To her surprise, the water that shot her out of the river was looming over her in an arc, completely frozen. "What the fuck?!" she muttered staring at it for a moment.

Then she heard Tomas calling her and she got snapped out of it - she could deal with the ice later, Tomas was more important. She pushed herself up enough to get to Tomas, wrapping her arms around him. "You're out of there, Tommy, we're both out." He was drowning. He was fucking drowning with his hands tied together, and it only really sunk in then for Tamyra just how bad this could have ended. "You're alright? Nevermind, that's a stupid question," she said as she pulled back, trying to survey him while still holding onto Tomas' arms, not wanting to let him go just yet. "What happened? Why were you tied up?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Tam," he managed to say, in response to all of Tamyra's words and her questions, and then that was about it, for a few moments. Tomas dug against her, pushing his face against his best friend hard to warm her strangely chilled skin, until she warmed and she smelled like herself, familiar and comforting. He remembered belatedly that he could use his hands now and wrapped his arms around her so tight he nearly sent them both toppling, but then withdrew a little, holding his hands in front of him. Sliced and bloody in places from the shells he'd just gotten hacked with, but those were fine, those were normal and incidental -- still bleeding profusely from the fingernail he'd lost. Half-clean sliced from Kessey's knife, half-ragged from where he'd ripped the rest off.

"I'm not doing so good," Tomas said, the admission coming out in an exhausted sob. "Libby and me, we got -- that guy Kessey, he thought we were causing this, or the jungle wanted us as a sacrifice or something, and he -- he--"

Tomas shook his head hard and barrelled back against Tam, wrecked enough to solely be seeking animal comfort at the moment. Nothing else. "She's not dead," he mumbled against Tam's skin as he breathed in, shuddering. "Libby. He tried to kill us but I know she's not dead, I'd feel it if she was but what if she's hurt, Tam, what if he really really hurt her, I need to find her, God I can't lose her again...."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tomas was in shock, Tamyra could gather that much quite quickly, but she didn't know what to do with it. She didn't know what she could do to help, so she just stood there, rubbing his back, quietly telling him, "It's okay, Tommy, breathe, you're alright, you're okay," while she let him find himself, find his body all over again. She hugged him back when he was clinging to him and just kept telling him that he was alright.

When he finally pulled back and held his hands out to her, she sucked in a breath. She didn't notice the missing fingernails until now and she automatically reached for her hand, pulling them closer before she dropped them again and let her fingers hover, "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to hurt you, did that-- what the fuck am I asking, of course that hurt. All of that must have fucking hurt like hell."

Tomas was telling her some of it now, some of what was happening, and then he was back against her again and Tamyra's arms wrapped around him again, holding him close, holding him up. He needed her and whatever he needed, even if it was just the sheer comfort of her being there, she was ready to give. "You're not going to lose him, Tomas. She's tough, tougher than most people. I saw her yell at the jungle today and the jungle scrambled back in fear. Even the jungle knows not to mess with her, Kessey will know soon enough, too. But we can go find her, make sure she's alright, that he can't hurt her." And then if there was anything left of Kessey, they could start with tearing his fingernails down. If Tamyra had a chance, she'd do it herself, too. "Is there anything I can do to help with your fingers? Any other scars? Anything that would take the pain away, make it at least somewhat better?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Yeah, breathe, yeah," Tomas murbled when Tam encouraged him to, still hanging on to her as if she'd melt into the ground if he let go. "That's another thing, I couldn't breathe. In the water. I can't ... my attunement's gone." He frowned, trying to just lift himself off the ground even slightly, and shook his head. The long cut along his jawline pulled at the motion and cracked open in places, starting to bleed down under his chin and along his neck again. "Nothing. It's gone. I don't know what happened. Maybe I'm just too -- too rattled, is it that, maybe? Tam. I don't."

His legs gave out and Tomas scrabbled against Tam for a bit as she grabbed onto him, helped ease him down to the grass so he didn't just topple over. "I'll be all right," Tomas reassured her, because what else was there to say? He'd be all right. He was always all right. There wasn't much else in the way of choices. He breathed in, finding his chest hurt with the motion, and took quick stock of himself. And of her, too, god her beautiful concerned face and the anger in those golden eyes, god, he could just--

Tomas took hold of Tam's face with his fingertips and kissed her, just a soft closed-mouthed mash of his lips against hers. "I'm so fucking glad you found me," he said, the words hardly more than a ragged gasp. "Tammy, we need to get out of here. I'm no good right now and I got nothing that I can even patch myself up with and I'll -- I'll be all right, but we need to get out and then I can come back proper and look for Libby. Or she's gotten out already and she's waiting for me. But we need to go."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra remembered just how full of joy Tomas was when he realized he would never have to worry about drowning again. The contrast in his voice as he told her he couldn't breathe in the water, he fear and the confusion only made Tamyra hate this place, this jungle, this entire island more. "I couldn't control water when we were in the river. It's the island, it has to be the island messing with us." Because it had to be the island. She suddenly lost the control she had on her water and Tomas couldn't use his attunement anymore? It could have only been the island's newest shit that it threw at them. "I'm not letting you drown, hmm? Attunement or not, island messing with us or not, we're getting out of this fucking jungle."

She held him up and helped him down onto the ground and then cradled him up into her arms and let him collect himself, let him have the time he needed. He would be alright, but he could fall apart as long as he needed to. That was what she was there for - she'd pick him up when he needed it, just like he'd pick her up when she needed it. Tam closed her eyes for a moment when Tomas gave her a kiss and then pressed her forehead against his, holding onto him. "Me, too. You scared the shit out of me, I hope you know that." He was still scaring her, but that didn't need to be voiced, he probably knew that himself.

"Alright, getting out of here first, then first aid - you can boss me around, tell me what to do and how to patch up those fingers, and no, you aren't doing them on yourself, and then we get her. But I'm telling you, she will get out herself, too. She will be waiting for you and probably doing the patching up herself." Tamyra wasn't sure of that, couldn't be sure of that, but she needed to keep him positive, optimistic. "We can follow the path of the river, that is probably our best bet - hopefully it'll lead to the beach. Can you stand? You can hold onto me and we can go together."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"The island messing with us, right, right. The island giveth and the island taketh away." Tomas glanced back at the riverside, though, where that high spurt of ice was slowly dripping back down into water. "What ... what was that about, then? You mean like you couldn't control the water like you don't have your attunement anymore, or you couldn't control it like you've gone nuclear with how much you can do with it?" The second one was preferable, in these circumstances, but at the same time Tomas knew what Tam might be capable of if she had no limitations holding her back. What that bold and fertile imagination might come up with.

Tomas considered trying to stand, but then thought maybe he'd take another couple of moments sitting, with Tam's forehead pressed to his own. "It's been a long time," he said, voice sunken quiet and shaky, then made it slightly more clear what he was talking about: "...it's been a long time since anybody wanted to hurt me on purpose. Like this." He drew back, looking down at his depleted hand, the lacerations on his wrists and fingers from being bound up, feeling the sharp pain along his face and the throbbing of the places were Kessey had hit him, fists and feet. "I maybe just need a minute. To deal with it. Sit here with me."

He didn't need to ask, of course, but Tomas wanted to. He listened to Tamyra reassure him, offer her help, and tell him that Libby was fine just fine, and Tomas reached down past the automatic, instinctive misery that came from being beaten. Under normal circumstances he would've rallied more quickly. This circumstance made the terror responses of his childhood bob up as fresh and raw as if his father was waiting for him at home.

But no, no, he was an adult and this wasn't that, and here was Tam, and Tomas took a deep breath. "We can stop up the bleeding with mud for now," he said, swallowing. "That'll have to do. Until we get out of here, and yeah, I can stand. I can walk. I'll be all right."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra followed Tomas' gaze at the ice by the river - in any other case, she would have taken the time to admire it, figure out how to do something like this with actual control, but it wasn't important now. "The second one. I could feel the power-- I can steel feel it. I can feel the water stronger than before, and if I could control it, I could do more than I've ever been able to, but somehow the water refused to do what I told it. Just bursts of random power, instead of anything helpful. I could never do ice - wasn't even interested in it, and yet that thing happened." Maybe if she froze the ice around them, getting out would have been easier, but they were out of there and that was the important bit.

His admission that it's been a long time made Tamyra swallow, her heart aching. She wanted to say so many things, curse Kessey out, but she couldn't help but remember their fight, when she wanted to make things better in all the wrong ways. She didn't want to do that all over again, so instead she reached over to his arm and squeezed it. She wanted to tell him that nobody was hurting him ever again, but even she wasn't idiot enough to make such a promise. Instead, she said, "A minute, ten, twenty, take as long as you need. We can just sit here together, yeah. Whatever you need." She was there, that was something she could help in, and then making sure to get the two of them out of here.

She went back to rubbing his back, hopefully that didn't actually hurt him, and nodded when he said the mud would help. "Yes, you'll be alright, but if you need some more time, we can wait. I'll go, get some mud for now, hmm?" She squeezed his arm and forced herself to stand up. She hated leaving Tomas, even just for those few steps that got her to the riverside. She quickly shoved her hand into the water - which started to freeze around her arm, but she pulled a big chunk of mud out and quickly went back to Tomas. "Here, how do I-- just apply it carefully, right?" she asked as she gently took his hand, turned it palm down started applying the mud as carefully as she possibly could.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Emre can do ice," Tomas said, although that was of not much importance at the moment. Or a lot of importance. "He got his foot caught and -- he nearly drowned and --" He shook his head. He was losing the plot, over and over. "He's fine, just ... he's good at ice. Maybe you two could learn together. I've never seen anything like it except the ice when Matthew was--"

His breath hitched. "Has anybody died? In the jungle, now, that you know of? I don't think I could take it, Tam. Not right now." Tomas rocked against and away from her hand at his back, unable to really get up and move but not able to stay still, watching Tam like a hawk when she got up to fetch the mud. If a vine came and took her away, if the water rose up and swept her along with it, he wanted to have that image of her burned into his brain. Radiant, fearless, stunningly beautiful Tamyra Williams, star of the silver screen and his best friend in the whole wide world.

By the time she came back he'd managed to reorder his jangled nerves some, presented with a task, and Tomas nodded thankfully. "It's cold," he remarked as she started applying mud very very very gingerly to his destroyed fingertips. Kessey had only torn one nail off entirely, but his knife had slit Tomas' middle finger too, below that nail. "It feels good. You don't need to put too much, just enough to cover it and I can dry--"

He cut himself off with an annoyed tcch of his tongue. "Nix that. I can't do shit, I haven't got my air powers anymore." Tomas sighed, heavily. "Put some on my face too, I guess." He tipped his head, letting Tam slide her graceful fingers along the line of his jaw, the tightening around his eyes the only sign of pain he made. So easy, the old habits, when you needed them again. "Okay. I'm gonna need a hand up, but I think I'm ready to move."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

It felt like Tamyra was missing some informations, but she got the gist of it and swallowed, not even sure what she could say - Emre was fine before she lost him and Lucas, and she's never actually seen Matthew's dead body (she felt like that was possibly a good thing), and she couldn't actually promise nobody died. She hasn't even seen some of the people she worried the most about, and even those she did see, who knew if they were still alright or not.

And still, she spoke, "No, nobody died, not to my knowledge. Aside from this bear-like monster creature, that thing is definitely dead. I killed it, with Emre and Lucas. But everyone else I ran into, they were alright before the jungle stepped in." Before the jungle stepped in, that was the most important bit. Who knew what kind of fucked up punishment the jungle and the island threw at any of them. Tamyra tried not thinking about it and focus on applying the mud onto his fingernails and then his face.

"How did you even-- did something happen? That you can't use it anymore?" she asked and then shook her head. "Never mind, it's the fucking jungle. Just like mine is acting up, yours is too. I'd suggest sucking the water out of the mud as another drying solution, but I don't feel confident enough in my control to mess with that and I wouldn't want to freeze your face or something along those lines." She wished she could help, she wished she could do it, but she remembered way too vividly the time she tried to heal him and this was not the time to take chances with something that was so out of control. "I haven't put too much on yourface, so hopefully it'll dry quickly. Just don't touch it too much."

Tamyra took his hand, helped Tomas up and kept hovering, kept helping him, keeping him steady, being there in case he needed any help. "Alright, we do need to move, but ifyou feel like you need something, please say something. Fuck the jungle, hmm? We go in our own pace and damn this pla--" but she couldn't finish the sentence, because suddenly vines were wrapping around her hands, her torso, her legs, but not just her, the vines were coming for Tomas too. "Tomas, hold onto me," Tamyra exclaimed, panick instantly rising inside her as she tried to reach for her friend.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"I don't even know," Tomas said. "What happened to take away my attunement. Everything's been so fucked up it just -- yeah, exactly. It's the fucking jungle. Who even knows when it happened." His teeth clacked as he was wracked by a shiver, and he turned his head and spat blood. "God. I hate feeling temperatures again. Cold, hot, cold, hotter -- it sucks." Nobody was a better sounding board for pointless complaints than Tam, who always had some of her own.

Tomas held his breath as Tam helped him up, steadying him, the pain reappearing in all sorts of great places to wave an insistent hello until Tomas found his chest aching and realized he'd kept holding his breath. He'd never considered that he used his attunement all that much, but now he was starting to realize how much it had integrated into his day-to-day; he never had to worry about not getting enough oxygen, before. Now he had to breathe like a fucking chump. Tomas snorted a little to himself and indulged in weakness for a moment, leaning heavily against Tam.

"Okay," he said, "our own pace, fuck the jungle. Just as long as we get out, Tammy, I need to make sure she's okay." That everyone else was okay too, of course -- just because Tam had no news of deaths to report didn't mean there hadn't been any -- but the final image of Libby's pale, wide mouth open in a cry and Kessey's insane ranting before Tomas had gone over the waterfall was banging inside his brain. "Maybe we could--"

Could nothing, said the jungle. Because it shot into motion again, whipping its vines around Tam and yanking her away, Tomas stumbling forward to try and grip onto her fingertips to no avail as they wrapped around his hips too. "Tam! Don't --"

Whatever else Tomas had been hoping to say, whatever final plea or instruction or advice, receded into darkness as Tam disappeared, and the vines hauling him roughly along the ground made everything go grey, then white, then nothing.

[theladyofdeath]

V O I D { F O U R }

Chapter 4. An ACOTAR fanfiction.

Nessian. Elriel. Feysand.

Previous chapters:  Fanfic Masterlist

Nesta walked into the spare bedroom. A desk sat against one wall, covered in her father’s old junk, a twin bed against the other.

Nesta felt like a zombie.

Like a ghost.

She was moving, she was speaking, but she had no idea what was going on around her.

She tossed a duffle bag on top of the twin bed, figuring she’d leave everything else in her car until it was needed.

She sat and stared at the wall.

Her sisters were out, her father had said. At a party.

They seemed to be enjoying their new school. Nesta was happy for them. They deserved it.

She glanced at her phone. It was only 9:30. No texts or calls from Tomas.

And yet, she felt more alone than ever. Tomas was a stupid prick, but he was all she allowed herself to have for years.

She left him.

She should be happy.

Should be celebrating.

But she felt more alone without him.

Nesta fell back against her grandmother’s old quilts and stared at the ceiling fan, spinning rapidly in circles.

What was the point of it all?

She had spent her life doing everything she could to reach perfection, had ended up with Tomas, and lost everything.

She didn’t know who she was anymore.

Could barely remember the stupid, naive girl she had been before him.

He constantly had made her feel like she was unworthy of him. But if she was unworthy of Lucifer himself, who the fuck would she be worthy of?

Nesta closed her eyes.

His face was the first thing to pop into her mind.

Stupid.

Idiot.

No personality.

Worthless.

Her eyes opened, once more.

She watched the ceiling fan, counting the seconds as they passed and the tears as they fell.

~~~

“I’m glad you came.”

Feyre spun around. “You. You’re following me.”

Rhys’ eyebrows lifted as he looked to the plastic cup in Feyre’s hand, then back up to her eyes. “How much have you drank?”

A laugh sputtered from her mouth. “Who said I’m drunk?”

Rhys couldn’t help but laugh, quietly. “I didn’t say you were drunk, although your slurred words say otherwise. Let me see your tongue.”

Feyre gave him a dramatic sigh before sticking out her tongue. It was as blue as the punch itself.

“I’m….just gonna take this,” Rhys said, taking her cup and giving it to Azriel behind him.

Az looked at the cup, blinked, and went to throw it away.

“You’re no fun,” Feyre said, pouting.

“How about I give you a ride home?”

Her smile faded, eyes growing wide. “Oh, no, I can’t go home. My dad would kick my ass.”

Rhys looked over his shoulder at Cassian, who was dancing around the fire chanting something under his breath.

Looks like Feyre wasn’t the only one who had drank a little too much.

“I’ll take you somewhere safe, okay? But you’re too drunk to be here. I know some of these guys. They’re assholes.” He held out his hand and almost felt surprised when she took it.

Five minutes later, they were rolling down the backroads outside of Velaris. Feyre had her window rolled down, her head sticking out, hair flying wildly, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Rhysand had one hand on the wheel, the other holding onto the back of her shirt, worried she was going to fall out.

She was a wild stallion, free from all boundaries.

She fell back into the truck, laughing uncontrollably as the back of her head hit Rhysand’s lap.

He kept his eyes on the road. “Who are you and what have you done to Feyre Archeron?”

She was looking up at him when she said, “you like me.”

He blinked, putting his other hand on the wheel, too. “Yeah, I haven’t been too good at hiding that, have I?”

Feyre laughed. “No. No you haven’t.”

He glanced down, just for a second. Her hair was splayed across his jeans, her eyes wide and slightly glazed.

“You are pretty,” she said, toying with the strings of his hoodie.

Rhysand snorted. “That’s quite the compliment, coming from you.”

“You smell like beef jerky,” she said, a giggle sputtering from her mouth.

Rhysand laughed, shaking his head. “Thank you? I think?”

“Not a compliment,” she slurred, patting his abs before slowly turning her face.

She began to fumble for the button on his jeans, and it wasn’t until she was working on his zipper that he swerved across the road, thankful no other cars were present.

“Uh, what are you- shit,” he breathed, stepping on his breaks.

As he pulled off onto the side of the road, Feyre’s hands were inside of his boxers.

“My mouth wants you,” she said, eyes glazed over.

Rhysand hesitated, the tips of her fingers brushing along his manhood.

It was safe to say that he’d never been in a situation such as this before.

Rhysand took her by the arms and sat her up, taking her hands in his. “You, Feyre darling, are incredibly drunk. Trust me when I say that you’ll regret that in the morning.”

“No, I won’t,” she promised, blue eyes big, pleading.

Rhysand rubbed at his temples.

He’d be a liar if he’d said he didn’t want her hands around him, her mouth on his skin. He’d be lying if he’d said he hadn’t dreamt about it since he’d met her.

“Sit back and relax,” he said, zipping back up his jeans. “We’ll be back at the apartment in a few minutes and you can lay down.”

“Will you lay down with me, Rhysaaaand?” she crooned.

Rhysand couldn’t stop his grin. “Let’s just get you home first.. Okay?”

She groaned. “You’re so boring.”

“I know,” he sighed, pulling back onto the road.

Feyre’s eyes began to drift closed as he sped down the road. Once he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, she was out.

Rhysand picked her up out of her seat and carried her to Cassian and Azriel’s apartment, cradled against his chest.

Once inside, he laid her down on the couch and covered her with his blanket, slipping off her boots and setting them on the rug.

He sat in the armchair in the corner and fiddled with his phone, glancing at her every few seconds, until he too fell asleep.

~~~

Elain was panicking.

She had looked for Feyre everywhere and hadn’t seen her.

Mor was dancing with her date by the bonfire as Elain pushed her way through the crowd. “Hey!” she yelled, over the music. “Have you seen my sister?”

“Rhys took her home!” she called back.

“What?” Elain yelled, eyes wide.

“Don’t worry, he’s not going to try anything,” a voice said from behind her, deep and soothing.

Elain spun around to find another one of Mor’s friends watching her with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. His dark brown hair was almost hanging in his eyes, which were bright and full of something Elain couldn’t quite put her finger on. He had a tattoo snaking up his arm, random designs that seemed to have no significance.

Elain realized she hadn’t said anything in return.

“He’s not like that,” he continued. “He just wanted to make sure she was safe. She had a lot to drink.”

His eyes were clear. He was one of the few that wasn’t drunk.

Elain nodded, nibbling on her lip. She still felt uneasy.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked, almost too quiet to be heard above the music.

Elain looked at Mor, who winked at her, before nodding. “Sure.”

She tried to smile, but it must have come off half-hearted.

“Sorry if I snuck up on you,” he said, keeping a healthy distance away, once they had gotten far enough from the music that he could be heard without screaming.

They began their walk down a line of cars as she said, “No, I’m sorry I’m acting weird. I just hadn’t even realized I’d lost Feyre. I should’ve been paying attention.”

He nodded, and when he said nothing, Elain sighed, “Alright, I know you want to say something, just say it.”

He raised an amused brow. “Feyre can take care of herself. And Rhys is a good guy. I promise you have nothing to worry about.”

Elain bit her lip. “Not to be rude, but I don’t even know you.”

“But you know Mor,” he said. “Do you trust Mor?”

Elain nodded.

He smiled, softly. “Then there you go. Azriel.”

Elain blinked. “What?”

“My name. Azriel.”

Elain couldn’t help but smile. “I’m Elain.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, hands still in his pockets as they walked. “You’re new to Velaris?”

“Yeah. It’s been really great. I love it here.”

His hazel eyes shone. “It is a beautiful city.”

“Have you always lived here?”

Azriel shook his head. “No. I grew up in a small town up north. Moved here when I was eleven. Foster care system.”

Elain raised hers brows, and he shrugged.

“It’s okay. It all turned out okay,” he said, offering her another small smile.

“How long have you known Mor?” she asked, then.

“Since middle school,” he said. “Feels a lot longer than that, though. I met them all in middle school. Sixth grade. Mor, Amren, Cassian, and Rhys. We’ve been together ever since.”

Elain then said, “I haven’t seen you around. Do you go to VHS?”

Azriel breathed a laugh. “You ask a lot of questions.”

Elain’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red. “I find myself to be very curious.”

He nodded, that smile still gracing his mouth. “I graduated last year.”

“Ah, so you’re a college man,” she said, lifting a brow.

He laughed, a quiet, genuine sound. “No, I’m actually a mechanic.”

She noticed how he rubbed the back of his neck. “Really? That’s awesome. Hard work.”

He shrugged. “I like to think so. So, you know, if you’re ever having car problems…”

“I’ll come to you,” she promised.

He nodded his head in thanks as Elain stopped by a bright yellow convertible. “Speaking of my car, here she is. I think I’m going to head home. Explain to my dad how I lost his youngest daughter.”

Azriel pursed his lips to keep from laughing. “Want to give me your number? I live with Rhys. As soon as I get home, I’ll send you an update.”

“Really?” She asked. “Oh, that’d be great!”

He handed her his phone and she put her number in, adding a smiley face emoji next to her name.

He gave her a smile as she got into her car.

He watched her drive away, wishing she hadn’t left at all.

~~~

Cassian stumbled through the front door, Azriel right behind him.

Mor had taken them home considering Rhys had abandoned them earlier in the night. Speaking of Rhys, he was sleeping in the armchair, sitting upright. Feyre was sound asleep on the couch, where Rhys usually slept, drool falling onto his pillowcase.

“You okay?” Azriel asked, in the threshold of his own room.

Cassian nodded, barely able to walk a straight line. “Yeah, I’m good. Goodnight.”

“Night,” Azriel said, before quietly shutting his door behind him.

Cassian went into his room and flopped himself down onto his bed.

His head was a blurry mess, his eyes barely able to stay open.

His phone began to ring and he searched all of his pockets before finding it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

“Hello?” He slurred into the receiver a minute later.

“...are you drunk?” It was his sister's voice.

Off.

Her voice sounded off.

“No,” he lied.

She snorted. “Please tell me you’re not driving.”

“Already home.”

“Good,” she said, then said no more.

Cassian was instantly on alert, even in his drunken state. “Hey, you okay?”

“Sorry to call so late,” she said, and he realized she was crying.

He sat up in his bed, the phone pressed against his ear. “Cece, what happened?”

“Cass, dad is dead.” The words came out quietly, quietly through her sob.

Cassian blinked, the words not fully registering.

His father.

He hated his father.

He was dead?

“What?”

“Overdose,” she said. “I found him when I got home.”

“Fuck, Cece,” he said, running his hand down his face. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me sooner? Where are you now?”

“Back home,” she said, ignoring his first question altogether.

“I’m coming to get you,” he said, rising to his feet.

“You’re drunk,” she said.

“Me and Az are on our way,” he promised. He heard her sniffle from the other side of the phone. “We’re on our way, okay? I’m coming. I love you.”

“I love you,” she replied, and he knew she was still crying.

His heart broke. Not for his father, but for his baby sister.

Cassian said goodbye before hanging up the phone and hurrying across the hall, knocking on Azriel’s door in pure panic.

His little sister had seen too much in her sixteen years. She didn’t deserve to find their bum of a father dead in their own home. She didn’t deserve him, at all. She deserved better. So much better.

Five minutes later, Azriel and Cassian we’re headed across town.

And Cassian found himself suddenly sober.

~~~

Chapter 5 coming soon.

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @photofeesh@mariamuses @cat5313 @anabelkay  @sleeping-and-books @ghostlyrose2@alingelina @chemicha@ella-enchanted27  @fourshizzle149 @inrealliampain@kiss-my-maas@notyourclassicshadowhunter @fandoms-everywhere-united@marry28sstuff @ttakeitbacknoww @lilbat90 @bluelyazul @my-fan-side@deliciouslyuniquepizza @supebowlere @rwolf19 @cinemaaddict@musicmaam @fireheart-of-your-dreams @avenrebekah @l0sts0uls1128 @abimomeopectore  @mis-lil-red  @sezkins79  @city-of-fae  @yrenewestfall-official  @feysand-rowaelin-worshiper  @h-a-p-p-i-e-s  @nitrot150 @willsrune     @cc-psm @dichotomous-me  @mindnumbmikey  @theogvodkaaunt  @someonemagical @flamefireandice  @amren-courtofdreams @voiceoftheroses  @awesome--username @tswaney17 @killer98queen  @aconitum-nerium  @my-parabatai-is-a-herondale

Send me an ask to be tagged :)

[nieru07]

Hoshino Kureha Side Story Chapter 13, 14, & 15 [English Translation]

These 3 chapters is the last chapter of Kureha’s side story………...for now

[Previous chapter]

Chapter 13 : “Where is My Real self....”

Kureha: “My real self…...”

.

Mother: “Because Kaede said “i want to fulfill Kureha’s dream no matter what”, i didn’t stop you that time. And i’m also rooting for you now, but…”

Mother: “I don’t want you to forget”

Mother: “About what do you really want to do… and who you really are…”

Mother: “You are Kaede, not Kureha. You can’t be Kureha”

Mother: “That’s why, it’s okay even if you didn’t push yourself to fulfill Kureha’s dream”

.

Kaito: “Sigh… be it your true self or whatever it is, the you whom standing right here is the real you, right?”

.

Kureha: “I’m Hoshino Kaede, but also Hoshino Kureha…...”

Kureha: “Kaede is… My past self is…. not as bright as the me now, and is a complete opposite of Kureha…”

Kureha: “Then, the reason i became cheerful now… is because i’m Hoshino Kureha?”

Kureha: “...........”

Kureha: “Who is the me whom standing here right now..?”

Kureha: “Aiming to become an idol… whose dream is that?”

Kureha: “Ah, a message… from Kazuyuki?”

Kureha: “‘Club has already started’, he said… AAAAAHH!! IM LATE!!”

~

Kureha: “S-sorry for being late..”

Toya: “Oi oi, did you oversleep?”

Kureha: “No… i’m awake but, i spaced out”

Kazuyuki: “Do you feel sick?”

Aoi: “Is that true?”

Kureha: “Ah, no! There’s nothing like that”

Kureha: “As you can see, i’m full of spirit!”

Yuhi: “Are you really okay?”

Kureha: “I am!”

Kazuyuki: “Don’t push yourself, okay?”

Kureha: ‘I have to focus on practice right now!’

~

Kaito: “Oi. You did the choreography wrong there”

Kureha: “Eh, s-sorry!”

Toma: “Somehow, don’t you think Kureha-san did a lot of miss than usual today?”

Aoi: “It looks like his mind is somewhere else”

Yuhi: “As i thought.. maybe he doesn’t feel well…”

Toma: “Hmm~ but from what i saw, it doesn’t looks like he is sick or something like that”

Yuhi: “Then… is something bothering his mind..?”

Aoi: “Kazuyuki, did you ask what happened to him?”

Kazuyuki: “I did. But no matter what i asked, he only said that he is okay..”

Kazuyuki: “But, it always looks like he was thinking about something”

Toya: “Kureha always so noisy when it comes to other person, but he is rather quiet when it’s about himself”

Aoi: “You have a point..”

~

Kureha: “Today, i can’t act like Kureha at all”

Kureha: “Kureha will not made that much misses and will not make everyone worried like that..”

Kureha: “As i thought, i’m not good because…. i’m not the real Kureha…”

||

Chapter 14 : “A Secret of the Hidden Wound”

||

Yoichi: “Let’s end today practice”

All: “Good work!”

*rain*

Toma: “Uwaah… there’s a downpour outside..”

Toma: “I don’t want to get wet”

MC: “Since i brought a folding umbrella, should i go to the club room and take everyone’s share of umbrellas as well?”

Toya: “But.. even though we will get wet, it’s not like we will be soaking wet, right”

Toya: “Let’s go to the club room by running”

Kureha: “Eh”

Kazuyuki: “Kureha-kun, what’s wrong?”

MC: “I can take one person with me so, Kureha-kun, do you want to go back together with me?”

Kureha: “N-no… it’s okay! I’m going to go back by running with everyone”

Toma: “Uuugh.. I can’t believe we also have to run even after the practice is over..”

Toma: “I’m going with manager---”

Aoi: “What are you thinking of taking the good part by yourself! You also going to run with us”

Toma: “Eeehh”

Yoichi: “Well then, everyone. Let’s go”

Kureha: ‘I’m going to be okay, right…’

~

Toma: “Who said we wouldn’t be soaking wet?”

Toya: “I was completely mistaken haha”

Toya: “But well, you became such a good man until water is immersed in you, right”

Aoi: “I’m immersed! Toya-san is so charming! Beautiful!”

Toma: “What are you sayi---achoo!”

Yoichi: “It will be bad if anyone catch cold. Everyone, hurry up and get changed”

~

Aoi: “Huh? Kureha. I didn’t know you have a wound on that place”

Kureha: “Eh…?”

Subaru: “You’re right~ there’s a wound on your forehead~”

Kureha: “........!”

Yuhi: “Ku-Kureha-kun?”

Kureha: “I-I’m…..”

Kureha: ‘What should i do… they’ve seen it….’

Kureha: ‘Even though i must be “Hoshino Kureha” in front of everyone..’

Toma: “What’s wrong? Getting panicked like that..”

Kazuyuki: “Could it be.. you don’t want anyone to see it?”

Kureha: “Eumm… Err…”

Kureha: “I’m going to toilet for a sec!” *runs*

Yuhi: “Kureha-kun…”

Toya: “It’s my first time seeing Kureha panicked like that..”

Aoi: “Could it be.. that wound is the reason why he doesn’t to take a bath together until now..”

~

Kureha: “Sigh…”

Kureha: “Huh? It’s open..” *enters the club room*

MC: “Who is that!?”

Kureha: “Uwah!?”

MC: “Ah, i’m sorry! The door’s sound surprised me..”

Kureha: “I’m also sorry for making you surprised. So you are still here..”

MC: “Err.. I still have something to do, so…”

Kureha: “Manager is someone who can’t lie, huh”

MC: “Eh?”

Kureha: “It’s my fault, right”

MC: “What are you saying! It’s not your fault!”

MC: “I’m worried about Kureha-kun, so i waited here by my own will”

Kureha: “As i thought, i made you wait”

MC: “Ah… that’s….”

Kureha: “Sorry for troubling you”

Kureha: “I became distraught like that just because my wound was being seen...”

MC: “Could it be, that wound is…”

Kureha: “Yeah. It was from when i got caught up in the mudslide...”

Kureha: “I always tried to hide it so it can’t be seen though”

Kureha: “It seems like the foundation was swept away by the rain..”

MC: “Why are you hiding it?”

Kureha: “Because if don’t, i feel like “Hoshino Kaede” going to come out even for a bit”

Kureha: “How should i put it….”

Kureha: “There’s two divided part inside me. The one with wound is “Kaede”, and the one without wound is “Kureha””

Kureha: “When i’m being Kureha, i would definitely hide my wound along with hiding “Kaede”s existence as well”

Kureha: “That’s why, when my wound was being seen, it felt like they found out that i’m “Kaede” and i ran away…”

Kureha: “Heheh, even though there’s no way they would found out. No one know about this wound after all..”

MC: “Kureha-kun….”

Kureha: “Say, manager… the one who is here right now, which one do you think it is?”

MC: “What did you mean by which one?”

Kureha: “The me who were talking with you right now.. Is it Kureha? Or Kaede?”

Kureha: “Recently, there’s a time when i’m trying to be Kureha but, when i realized it i became Kaede..”

Kureha: “”Kureha” and “Kaede” become mixed up and i became more and more unable to understand my real self…”

MC: “So that’s why your condition is strange recently”

Kureha: “...sorry for always whining. I should get ahold of myself, right”

Kureha: “I should be the decent “Hoshino Kureha””

MC: “Kaede-kun…”

Kureha: “Ahahah! Manager, you got it wrong!”

Kureha: “My name is “Hoshino Kureha”! “Kureha” that’s written as Momiji!”

MC: “..........”

Kureha: “Woops, i should get ready to go home soon if not, manager can’t lock the room, right!”

Kureha: “I’m going to get ready right now so, wait for a bit”

MC: ‘Is there something i can do for Kureha-kun….’

||

Chapter 15 : “Cycling on a Sunny Day”

||

Kaede: “Kureha, you are mad at me, right?”

Kureha: “Eh? What are you talking about?”

Kureha: “Ah!! Could it be, Kaede was the one who eat my pudding!?”

Kaede: “No, you are wrong...”

Kureha: “Eeh? Then, are you the one ate the ice cream that i kept?”

Kaede: “No, that’s not what i’m talking about”

Kaede: “Kureha, I’m sorry…. Because of me… That time… instead of you, i…..”

Kureha: “....whoever the first one, it’ll be the same”

.

Kureha: “......again...”

Kureha: “....it’s still early. Recently, i keep on seeing a dream about Kureha..”

Kureha: “....sigh”

Kureha: “Kureha…”

Kureha: “...this is not good!”

Kureha: “I can’t be like this!”

Kureha: “Yosh, it’s sunny!”

Kureha: “There’s no club activity today. As expected, at time like this, it’s that, right!”

~

Kureha: “Huh? Yuhi-senpai?”

Yuhi: “Kureha-kun…. morning”

Kureha: “Good morning! Where are you going this early in the morning?”

Yuhi: “I’m going to check the rabbits…. that’s in the breeding hut”

Yuhi: “How about Kureha-kun?”

Kureha: “Since  there’s no club activity today, i’m thinking about going to cycling!”

Yuhi: “Then, wanna go together until the midway..?”

Kureha: “Okay!”

Yuhi: “Eumm.. yesterday, are you okay..?”

Kureha: “Ah… yeah. I’m really sorry for suddenly rushed out like that!”

Yuhi: “It’s okay..”

Yuhi: “You didn’t catch cold, right…? I’m worried…”

Yuhi: “that time Kureha-kun was still soaked after all..”

Kureha: “Don’t worry about it! As you can see, i’m healthy and lively!”

Yuhi: “I see…”

Kureha: “Ah… please don’t mind what happened yesterday!”

Yuhi: “If that’s what Kureha-kun wished for…”

Yuhi: “If you don’t want to tell us the reason you hide it then there’s no need for you to do so. Everyone also said the same thing...”

Yuhi: “Everyone has things that they want to hide after all…”

Kureha: “Yuhi-senpai…”

Yuhi: “If one day Kureha-kun want to talk about it, just tell me, i’ll always lend you an ear”

Yuhi: “Even though it’s not me….. I think everyone will lend you an ear”

Kureha: “Thank you very much”

Yuhi: “Then, i will be going to the breeding hut...”

Yuhi: “Be careful while you cycling”

Kureha: “Yeah! I’m off!”

Yuhi: “Take care”

~

Kureha: “It’s already this late when i’m being absorbed in riding my bike”

~

Kureha: “Ah! It’s Kaito!”

Kureha: “Kaitooo!!”

Kaito: “..........”

Kureha: “What is it what is it? It’s rare for you to stare at me like that!”

Kureha: “Could it be you are worried about me?”

Kaito: “I am”

Kureha: “I know righ---wait, Eeeh!?”

Kaito: “Oi, don’t get it wrong. I’m not worried about you”

Kaito: “I’m worried whether it will affect our next Pre-star or not if the center condition is like that”

Kaito: “You understand that the next Pre-star is the last one, right?”

Kureha: “I understand…”

Kureha: “But no worries! Since i’ll do it properly”

Kureha: “By the way, just now you indirectly said that you are worried about me, right?”

Kaito: “I didn’t”

Kureha: “I’m happy~! If i didn’t bring a bike right now, i’m gonna hug you right away. What a shame!”

Kureha: “By the way, tonight’s dinner seems to be fried chicken, you know?”

Kaito: “then what’s with that”

Kureha: “The one who arrive at the dorm first will receive one fried chicken from the one who lose!”

Kaito: “Huh? Even though it’s an equal challenge, it’s a foul play if you’re the one who ride a bike---Oi! Hoshino!”

Kureha: “Come on! Run if you want to eat many fried chicken!”

Kaito: “wtf… what’s with him..”

||

Story clear! (for now)

Aahh i finally translated the last chapter for now. Certainly thought it’s gonna take one month because i’m a lazzy-ass but i managed to finish it within 2 weeks. Congrats to myself for not being lazzy *clap clap*

Btw have you guys read the newest chapter of the main story? It’s finally Kureha’s turn to make us cry :’D his monologue at the beginning of the chapter made me cry for 2 minutes *sobs* my son;;; *sobs* i think starting now i need to prepare some tissues whenever they updated the main story _(:’D_

Oh right, i plan to translate Toya’s side story next! which is another trip of feels :’D

[c-rankin93]

SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.12

A/N: I'll apologize now for this chapter. It's only a filler, and I'm horribly sick so 100% didn't go into this and I'm disappointed, but as long as you guys like it I'll be happy. This chapter is a set up for a dramatic scene that is about to take place. This is where everything starts to unravel and secrets don't stay hidden for long. P.s: the story is also coming to an end soon. Not now or within the next few chapters but soon. --- CHAPTER TWELVE: TO BE CONTINUED --- RAE POV: I don't understand why I never took up smoking. I mean, when Finn gave up smoking I was happy he was no longer sucking on the cancer stick, but now looking at my brothers puff away whilst adamantly talking between each other, I was intrigued. I decided my social side needed a little extra kick. "Anyone going to share their cigarette." I didn't ask anyone in particular. All conversation cease to exists after I spoke, the curious gaze of my three brothers followed my hand as I moved it around between them. They obviously didn't get the hint that I wanted them to pass one over so I dropped my hand. "You don't smoke" Robert stated flabbergasted. No shit sherlock. "Shove it. I just found out my ex-husband didn't cheat on me so my divorce was a mistake, my boyfriend is hiding something from me, and Finn's psycho ex-girlfriend just destroyed my office. I need a cigarette" I grabbed the white stick from between Robert's fingertips and inhaled deeply. The smoke stung my eyes slightly, and they watered instantly. Did I mention this was a good idea? No? That might of been because of the disastrous coughing fit I was suffering from at the moment. My lungs felt like they were on fire, and it didn't help the situation when Mark and Julian were acting beyond immature right now. They could shove their laughter right up their as- "You right there sis?" Robert patted my back as the coughing subsided. "How do you do that to yourself?" I gagged when the after taste hit me. "Eh, it gets easier the longer you do it" Julian laughed and flicked his cigarette into mom's roses. Well I hope he doesn't want more children, because when mom finds it tomorrow he's not going to have a set of balls. "Do you feel better now?" Mark teased still puffing along. "Nope" "Maybe you should try something a little stronger?" "Mark don't even go there! No need to expose her to your celebrity lifestyle" Robert hissed throwing a punch into Mark's arm unexpectedly. "I think I'll just keep drinking mom's shitty wine. Seems to be doing the trick just fine" I tipped back the contents of my glass, just like my life it became empty. Our 7 children were currently in bed, along with our parents and Robert's wife Maria. It was nearing 12am, and the night was still young. Even if we had just spent the day eating, drinking and laughing. It felt good to reminisce about our childhood like we use to, before our lives separated us. I had finally admitted the reason behind my quick divorce, all the way to the events that occurred today. I felt as though I was at an AA meeting the way they gathered around me, whilst Tomas, kept all the children entertained. I left out the sex of course that happened between Finn and I, that was something that would never pass my lips in a conversation with my brothers. My mother didnt feel like the details of the conversation was enough for her, she had hinted a few times that she wanted more details tomorrow morning. I shuttered just thinking about that conversation. I felt like a cow on the way to a slaughterhouse. "You know you could of told me. I could of been there for you Rae." I looked up, meeting Julian's eyes. This was the first reaction I had gotten out of Julian or Mark, before it was just a sigh and nod. Sighing, I took the seat closest to Robert. The bomb fire was roaring, the heat kissing my skin perfectly. Julian and Mark sat across from us, It was the start of an intervention after buttering me up on mom's happy juice, nice move brothers. Well played. 'Well I better make it a good show' I scoffed internally. I poured myself a large class of ròse, the longer I stalled the longer Julian had to wait for his answer. An answer I was still formulating. "No I couldn't of told you, or you.." I said pointing to Mark. "You would of killed Finn without a second thought, and I wasn't risking that. Finn is a very profitable business man in New York, I wasn't risking your freedom. You, Julian had Parker to think of! And you mark had a booming career! What do you think the media would of said, huh? They had a field day when they caught wind of Finn and I's divorce, could you imagine the stories they would spin if you two where involved. No! I was not letting that happen" I smiled sadly. "And you were there for me Julian, more then you'll ever know. You were going through a shit marriage yourself and you still rang me 3 times a week, 7pm Sharp. You were my underpaid shrink." "And you chucky!" I smirked at Mark. "Sending me freaking phone numbers of different actors you know and the lovely phone calls I got at random times of the week and day. By the way, I still have Leonardo DiCaprio's number saved on my phone and I'm thinking if it goes tits up with the two that I have now, I'll give him a call" I laughed draining the bitter liquid down the back of my throat. Mark swiped my bottle and starting to study the label. "Is this shit like true serum or something? I was dating this chick a few months ago and she drinking this piss. It's the reason we're not together anymore." "Mark don't be a dick for once in your life" Julian grabbed the bottle much to my protest and sat it near his feet. Great, my big brother was cutting me off. There was no way I was going to start drinking the scotch Robert was sipping at, I want to wake up alive and out of hospital. Oh! The humanity... "Yeah I understand that Rae. It just hurts to know you kept this secret from us this long, that you were hurting and I knew nothing about how deep it was effecting you." "I understand your mad, bu-" "Damn right we're mad!" Mark interrupted; narrowing his eyes at me. "But! I love you two too much. I wasn't dragging you into my mess." "You decided to bring him into it!" Mark pointed a finger in Robert's direction irritated. "I was her lawyer dipshit." Robert said rolling his eyes. "So! You would of been madder then us! You were buddy-buddy with the guy weren't you? Surprised you didn't tie him to a chair and set him alight!" I shuddered remember Robert's reaction to the news. He had splintered his home office glass table with his fist, requiring 4 stitches. The curse words that flicked of the end of his tongue were just as lethal. His job was the only thing stopping him, because I sure as hell wasn't doing a good job. "Trust me mark it wasn't a good day..." And Robert was right, that memory entered a category was deep in the back of my mind, into a not to be opened box. I nearly rang Finn scared for his safety that day, If only I did make that call. "Ohkay! Ohkay! We get it. The situation was fucked, you panicked and we were kept in the dark for good reason. I get it! I'm sorry you had to deal with that crap alone, and as your big brother I'm allowed to feel shit about it" Julian huffed. "And really he slept with Olivia Clark?" I nodded at Mark. "Man, I remember her. I dated her sister in high school, Bianca or someone. She was so fucking preppy, and happy-go-lucky all the time. I thought she's was going to kill me with the brightness of her teeth alone, so I broke up with her. God she was pissed!" "Its because you can be a real dick sometimes. I'd be pissed too" I hissed. To which only made Mark laugh more. "Its wasn't like it was anything serious. She knew I was moving and didn't want long distance." Mark replied. He was never one to choose his words wisely, always the one to say what he was thinking no matter the consequences. He probably broke the poor girls heart without even realising. "Anyway! What are you going to do now?" Robert asked seriously turning to face me. "Well I'm going to start by having dinner with Gregory tomorrow night. I'm going to tell him what's going on." It seemed to be the only way that felt right. Maybe his reaction will give me a clear cut answer. "Well I'm going to call Finn and set up a nice little dinner date then" Julian spoke like it was the most obvious thing to do. "What? No!" I stood proudly. There was no way I was going to let that happen. "Why? It's not like he ended up doing the dirty deed, so you don't have to worry about his life and all that shit Rae" Mark stated. "I didn't care if he's innocent! No! Why would you need to talk to him anyway?" Jesus this was going nowhere. "Its what men do Raymond" Mark smiled cheakily. Then dashed towards the house yelling something about using the toilet over his shoulder. It was a distraction. I knew that know, he kept me occupied until Julian could do the unthinkable. "Finn, it's Julian Earl here. I'm sure you remember me. I think it's time that us boys and you to have a little chat." I need the ground to swallow me whole now. --- FINN POV: Turns out Oliva decided to fire my housekeeper after maria asked one too many questions about my disappearance. Which doesn't surprise me really she had been my maid for the past 6 years, and after much groveling and the promises that she will never work around Olivia again she came back to work for me. My apartment was now polished and put back into its original condition. One less thing I had to worry about. My parents and archie had stuck around long enough to see the back end of Olivia storm out the door in a rush. Whilst chop on the other hand still hadn't left the confides of my lovely home. He states it's because I need protection for when the psycho knife wielding bitch comes back, but I think security can handle her. It's been a few days since I had kicked her to the curb and she hasn't once tried to call me. Her parents and sister had, but their numbers where blocked the moment their caller ID flashed before me. Her mother was an airhead, father a closet drunk, and her sister a snarky bitch who wants more then she can afford. I had no time for the Clark family anymore. Chop through me a glance over his shoulder, I hadn't stopped pacing since the news came through that Olivia had shown up at Rae's work, thank God Izzy and Chop were still on speaking terms. I had tried calling calling Rae numerous times, not once did she pick up the phone and that made me worried. "Calm down Finn, she will be fine. Knowing Rae she needed to calm down before hunting Olivia down. Told you she was a psycho!" Chop smirked. He was not helping my mood or the situation at hand at this point in time. If he wasn't my best mate, I would of most likely laid him out by now. Grinding my teeth, I just flip him off and continued pacing. Chop's phone 'dinged' and his burst of laughter had me puzzled. "Don't worry champ. Rae's fine." "What do you mean fine! How do you know?" I said pulling up a chair. "Izzy told me she's at her parents house in New Jersey. She had some unexpected visitors." "What visitors Chop!" "Her brothers are in town." "What did you just say?" "Izzy said her brothers have come to visit her. Apparently Linda rang them saying she was worried about Rae" he explained. That didn't make me feel any better. "You mean Mark and Julian are in New York? Plus Robert?" Chop nodded and continued to text. I hadn't seen Julian nor Mark in 3 years, they visited as much as possible but because of mine and Rae's busy schedule we found it hard to go to them. I knew Robert still lived in New York, his firm was a thriving success. The last time I had laid eyes on him was during the court hearing when our divorce was finalised. Ill be honest if he wasn't my ex-wife's brother and didn't loathe me, I would defiantly have him represent me. I had managed to avoid her side of the family for as long as I could, but with all 3 of them back in New York, and Rae and I on such good terms it was only a matter of time before I saw them again. Suddenly, my phone started ringing. I scrunched my nose up at the unfamiliar number and answered, secretly hoping it was Rae. "Hello?" "Finn, it's Julian Earl here. I'm sure you remember me. I think it's time that us boys and you to have a little chat." Gulp. "Sure." -- A/N: sorry for the poor editing. I'm really not well haha! Love you guys 😍😍 What explosive thing is going to happen in the next chapter? @lily-pop-2 @milllott @milymargot @lurkernolonger @l88cym @i-dream-of-emus @arathewallflower @mmfdfanfic @luly310 @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @eveerez

[minamisconcierge]

First off, THANK YOU for this blog! Reading the headcanons give me my SSS fix as I impatiently wait for new scenerios/routes. Could I request the brothers learning it's MC's birthday, but she's the one that actually ends up forgetting it's her birthday because she's too focused on her job

You’re very welcome! I indulge writing these just as much as you all do reading them. I’m so afraid for the new routes to come though, because then I’ll feel like I’ve done everything wrong with the characters lol ;;

Chiaki

type to throw surprise birthday parties

sends you off to work with the other concierges which si very strange bc

that’s not something he usually did, he was v selfish with you and wanted to keep you all to himself

but just fills the flat with balloons and cotton candy bags and stuff from your first date together with mutsuki and the amusement park

so when you come in there’s balloons in your face and the strong smell of elephant ears (or fried dough with powdered sugar)

and you’re just ?????

chiaki has a party hat on his head and mutsuki is even there too

and drew you a little picture of the three of you together with balloons just like this was going to go

and both of them blow on their blowout noisemaker party favor things at you

“Murayama reminded me it was your birthday today.”

Says that with a slight distaste in his mouth but

he’d be damned if he didn’t plan something more than murayama anyway

Toma

arranges a day off of work for you without you knowing

so when you’re going down to the concierge desk to pick up your assignments today they’re just like

“ya you don’t need to be here lol”

so you’re just confused, but you return back to the suite to talk to toma and

he’s not there either???

so you’re just going around looking for him and you think to find him in his usual thinking spot

and in the blue shaded room with light flickering through the water you see him there, and he’s facing away from you and just watching the dolphins swim and play in the water

and he turns to you with that handsome af grin and produces out a small velvety blue box

and it’s a necklace with two dolphins that make a heart and it’s super cute

and while he’s putting it on for you, he just murmurs into your ear,

“Sometimes, you still need to take a break and care about yourself you know.”

Shizuka

how to plan for birthdays

assumedly the worst gift giver out of all of them and he’s just like

oh god what does she want does she want shoes? sneakers? FOOD???

PANICKING LOOKING FOR A GIFT FOR YOU

and while you’re running some errands that he set out for you earlier you run into him in the shop and you’re just

????

“Shizuka? Why are you here?”

AND HE’S QUICK TO TRY TO MAKE AN EXCUSE AND HIDE THE CUTE CLOTHES THAT HE THOUGHT TO BUY YOU

but then he’s just

“Uh, while you’re here... could you try these on? I want to see if they’d fit you..”

And shizu’s style is impeccable let me tell u

they’re just cute frilly dresses and shirts and blouses and just full outfits 

and while you’re trying them on in the fitting room he just presses you into the stall quietly and kisses you sweeetly and murmurs a happy birthday to you

Minami

this big idiot would disappear

like you would wake up one morning and he wouldn’t be there, and you’d think he’d be off to work but he’s just nowhere to be found

but you’re panicking again bc oh god what the fuck what if he ran away again

nope, there’s little notes laying around the house and the first one is left on your bedside table

just a long fucking scavenger hunt while he makes you ignore all your duties as a concierge (read: he begged toma to give you a day off that day so you could spend it for your birthday)

but ofc you’re worried so while you’re cleaning up around the house, you find other little notes

“Haha, I knew you’d try to clean ! But nope, this is your focus today, and this is your work!”

more little notes & one left with a dress that he got specifically for this day, and instructs you to wear

until you finally find yourself at the local theatre and there’s a crane machine there

and to get the last note you have to win the damn toy

but ofc you don’t you suck and magically out of nowhere

“Need help?” And it’s him, quick to cling to you before he takes you into the theatre for a hot makeout session movie date

Mei

mei, probably: how do i show affection to this girl on her birthday any different than i would any other day

probably wouldn’t do anything different but 

would compose a short piece for you to come home, because he knows how curious you are still about the music that he plays

and also welcomes you home with a big box of sweets

in fact you see two there, (but one’s actually for him)

a nice, quiet candlelit dinner out on the balcony with just sweet music in the background after one of your longer days at work

and he’s the one serving you 

and ofc he starts it with 

“Don’t expect this every day. It’s just because today’s your birthday, and you just got home... And it’s your first birthday with me.”

Rei

wakes you up early in the morning, like before the sun even comes up

takes you to his car and you’re going on a long journey my friend

it’s just silence in the car though, you’ve stopped trying to protest where you’re going, and just end up dozing again lol

and you’re just out someplace nice and secluded and away from society

“I figured that for once, you could relax completely.”

And you’re confused why????

“Shouldn’t you be relaxing on your birthday?”

oh and when it clicks you’re just so smiley and blushy because he thought of you

even brought the picnic basket and the wine and alcohol for you guys to celebrate together and just spend the day/afternoon/evening together

and just enjoy each others’ company among the clouds and the stars

and it’s just really you two, and each others’ world

[junker-town]

NHL expansion draft 2017: Grading all 30 expansion draft protection lists

How did your favorite team do?

The NHL’s expansion draft protection lists are out! A slight delay in the plan left many fans waiting a half hour longer than expected, but we now know just who each team is protecting in the upcoming expansion draft.

There will be a lot of hustle and bustle over the next few days before Vegas picks their team on Wednesday. We’ll have you covered for every move they make leading up to the expansion draft, but let’s step back a moment and look at the 30 teams. Some lists were pretty obvious, while others have us wondering just what some general managers were thinking.

It’s hard to grade these lists because we don’t know what hand-shake deals teams have in place to lead Vegas away from certain assets, but we’ll do the best with what we have.

Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Above average

Stars. Fears were calmed immediately that Cody Eakin would not take up a coveted spot. Also, props to general manager Jim Nill on protecting a trio of young defensemen in Stephen Johns, Esa Lindell, and John Klingberg. The Stars didn’t overthink it. A-

Flyers. It’s a bit of a surprise to see Scott Laughton on this list, but not protecting Andrew MacDonald and Pierre-Edouard Bellemare is an immediate positive. General manager Ron Hextall is sticking to the plan, Flyers fans. A-

Penguins. It’s hard to imagine the reigning Stanley Cup champions messing this up, and they didn’t. The Penguins went the eight skater route, and for good reason. Patric Hornqvist got the nod over Carl Hagelin, and I think that’s the right move. We all know Vegas is taking Marc-Andre Fleury anyway. A-

Blue Jackets. There were rumblings that Jack Johnson would get the protection nod over Ryan Murray on defense. Instead, Columbus did the smart move and protected Murray while leaving Johnson exposed. That counts as a win. B+

Oilers. Not protecting Kris Russell is an immediate positive, so good job Edmonton! The rest is par for the course, with Jordan Eberle actually getting a protection slot despite rumors to the contrary. Not bad, Oilers. B+

Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images

As expected

Ducks. Anaheim fans are likely panicking that both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson remain unprotected, but that felt almost expected with how the big wig reporters were talking. The fact they remained unprotected likely means the Ducks have a deal in place with Vegas, so the worrying could likely be for naught. B

Sabres. There’s no real surprises here for the Sabres. Big veterans in Zach Bogosian and Matt Moulson were always going to remain unprotected, while youngsters like Nathan Beaulieu and Johan Larsson were rightfully protected. B

Flames. Leaving big contract Troy Brouwer exposed is a good choice for Calgary. Much like Buffalo, they protected their young, talented players like they should. Nothing to sneeze at. B

Hurricanes. Carolina is already starting to look like a new team. All three goaltenders from their system have been exposed, while Scott Darling got the expected nod as the one netminder. Vegas will likely go for Joakim Nordstrom or Lee Stempniak, but they weren’t expected to be protected. B

Blackhawks. Trevor van Riemsdyk is still the likely pick for Vegas the way the winds have been blowing, but Chicago protected everyone they needed to. Don’t be surprised, however, if the two teams have a deal in place to send someone other than van Riemsdyk to Vegas by Wednesday. B

Avalanche. I’m not sure what Vegas will want to take from Colorado, but they’ve protected their important pieces just fine. That’s all you can really ask, honestly. B

Canadiens. Jonathan Drouin joined Montreal’s expected list. Exposing Tomas Plekanec and Alexander Radulov is nothing to be worried about either. Hopefully. B

Devils. Some recognizable names like Beau Bennett, Devante Smith-Pelly, and Michael Cammalleri have all been exposed. However, New Jersey protected three young defensemen in John Moore, Mirco Mueller, Damon Severson, who they all seem high on. B

Rangers. Tanner Glass wasn’t protected! Regardless, New York’s protection list isn’t anything outrageous. Par for the course. B

Kings. Dustin Brown, Marian Gaborik, and Jerome Iginla are big names, but not surprising with how their team is stacked to begin with. B

Canucks. Daniel Sedin and Henrik Sedin were always going to be protected. Young standout Bo Horvat as well. Vancouver did what they needed to do here, which was not overthink it too much. B

Lightning. Tampa Bay’s path got easier after trading Drouin, but losing Cedric Paquette, J.T. Brown, or Slater Koekkoek might hurt more than expected. Still, that’s the price of being a deep team. B-

Maple Leafs. On one hand, Toronto protected Matt Martin. On the other, they protected young forward Josh Leivo. On the third hand, they did not protect trade deadline pickup Brian Boyle. It’s a give and take, I suppose. B-

Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images

Head scratchers

Coyotes. As a follower of the Flyers, it surprises me that Luke Schenn and Nick Cousins got a nod from Arizona. Alexander Burmistrov and Radim Vrbata both seem like better picks to be protected, though who knows if the Coyotes are done wheeling and dealing. C+

Bruins. I can’t figure out why Kevan Miller was protected over Colin Miller, or Adam McQuaid, outside of the small difference in point totals. A young defenseman like Colin Miller might be what the Golden Knights are looking for. C

Senators. Clarke MacArthur, Bobby Ryan, Marc Methot, and Viktor Stalberg are all big names to be exposed. Ryan, in particular, is a huge name that seems tempting for Vegas to snag, and for absolutely nothing in return too. C

Sharks. I’m not sure who Ryan Carpenter is, but he has just four points in 12 NHL games. Protecting him over someone like Mikkel Boedker just feels like a strange set of priorities here. C

Red Wings. Clearly general manager Ken Holland values veteran goaltender Jimmy Howard over younger goaltender Petr Mrazek. Many thought Mrazek was Detroit’s future in goal, but with his exposure to Vegas it might not be that way for much longer. C-

Panthers. Jonathan Marchessault would be a HUGE loss for the Panthers. Protecting defensemen Alex Petrovic and Mark Pysyk seems silly with a 30-goal scorer on tap. C-

Wild. Marco Scandella, Matt Dumba, and Eric Staal all have been exposed. Minnesota will likely lose one of them for nothing, and it’s quite shocking to see them protect their aging core over potential key pieces. C-

Capitals. Nate Schmidt is all but a goner it seems after the Red Wings exposed Mrazek. Which is a shame, as he really showed up in the postseason. I also cannot fathom protecting Tom Wilson, but the Capitals clearly see something in him. C-

Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Poor

Blues. Ryan Reaves over Dmitrij Jaskin, Jori Lehtera, and David Perron? For shame, St. Louis. Our Blues blog put it quite succinctly earlier on Sunday. D

Went through all of the lists. Only 13 protected forwards around the league had 13 or fewer points in the NHL last year. Reaves included.

— Game Time Media (@StLouisGameTime) June 18, 2017

Islanders. New York likely has deals in place, but protecting Adam Pelech over Calvin de Haan and Thomas Hickey reeks of bad asset management. Not sure what general manager Garth Snow is thinking with this move. D