#tom's bracket is going to be hell

[aa0n]

Guys it's over

[laora-ryn]

So I've been rotating TMAGP in my head like a rotisserie chicken and. You know what happened in one incident report, I never thought about it too hard, and it hasn't come up again?

In the Voyeur episode, after Tom arrived at the movie theater, his audio started being corrupted. But not in a way that... Really makes sense? It's just that every so often, Chester would read out "[UNINTELLIGIBLE]" instead of whatever words Tom wrote and/or said into his phone

And I'm like. Where and when and why did the distortion happen? Was it during the recording itself, because of the supernatural nature of the theater? Was it when he uploaded it to the internet? Was it when Freddy archived it? Or was it when Chester read it out?

Because we have audio of Needles, Mr. Bonzo, Lady Mowbray, and Ink5oul recorded off a modern cell phone. We have audio recorded in Ink5oul's various hunting grounds, and in Mr. Bonzo's house. Hell, we have audio recorded from Sam's phone in the Magnus Institute. It only switched to the tape recorder when they got to the archivist's office

So it's not necessarily a supernatural creature, or a place steeped in the supernatural, that's distorting it

And I don't know, maybe this is a reach, but the other time we've seen bracketed all-caps text within otherwise normal transcript stuff is with our good friend [ERROR] from episode 10

So now I'm wondering, what made Tom's incident report special? More special than RedCanary's spelunking in the ruins of the Magnus Institute? More special than universe-hopping Darrien, who very likely ran into some version of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood in his therapist's office?

The distorted lines below the break, with a best guess of what might've been there:

Is it a private screening just for me? The contest didn't mention *that.* That's, [UNINTELLIGIBLE], cool, actually. I'm going to head on in... Hang on a sec.

Possibly: "uh," "really"

Snacks acquired! They're obviously short-staffed, since it was the same guy working the concession stand. I feel bad. He looks super old and they're really putting him to work. He seems in good spirits though. Okay... [UNINTELLIGIBLE] find my seat!

Possibly: "I'm gonna," "time to"

So I'm almost done with my popcorn and the film hasn't even started yet. No previews or anything... Do I go talk to the old guy? I really hate [UNINTELLIGIBLE] bother him. I'm just going to wait for now.

Possibly: "to," "having to"

So it's been a minute, and the screen is still black. I can hear what sounds like... beeping. It sounds so familiar but I can't quite place it. Medical equipment maybe? There's something [UNINTELLIGIBLE] the screen... Looks like it might be a flashback or something, handheld... looks like it was filmed on an old camcorder...

Possibly: "appearing on," ?

I know that room.... How... How did they get [UNINTELLIGIBLE] This was after the accident. Mum wanted to film it for my brothers... Dad... I... [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Wait. Who is that? In the corner of the screen, there's... _(soft, more shocked than anything)_ Who the hell is that?

All of the other breaks were inconsequential, basically. Dropped helper words, filler words, easily inferable verbs. It's just this last paragraph that we're actually missing information?

So no real... Revelations here, I guess, I just think it's weird that this is the only time we've seen this kind of thing happen and wanted to type it up??

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Mapleshade

Apparently some parts of the warriors fandom can't wrap their head around an unreliable narrator. She's not an innocent victim or a pure evil villain. She's complex. She was selfish, she took advantage of people but she was also cheated on by her mate (who by the way face little to no repercussions for having a half clan relationship with Mapleshade) and forced to leave her kit's bodies to be buried on RiverClan's territory, where she'd never be able to see them again. Mapleshade is a cat that never learned how to face the consequences of her actions. She arguably went insane from having her whole life be torn apart from her in a single day. Tbh I'd argue that if she was a tom, more people would be sympathetic towards her.

a woman will murder 3 people, use a dead guy's name to protect her and her kids' reputation, groom a kid into becoming a xenophobic dictator and people will still claim that she's an innocent justified victim. i love her and think she's a very interesting character (with her killing people partially to avenge her kits) but god, half the fandom doesn't read the books and it shows.

Future Luke

Warning: This character is a walking spoiler so PLEASE tread with caution if you haven’t played Professor Layton and the Unwound Future. It’s a game so dear to my heart that everyone should play. With that out of the way… I love him and I get it. I do. He was one of the first fictional crushes I remember having way back in the day and even though that’s way long past, I still think he’s neat as a character as is the role he plays in the story. Yes his backstory is tragic (Bill Hawks go to hell challenge). Yes it makes him sympathetic in a lot of ways. Yes it would be so nice to see more canon content with him someday, maybe set far after the events of the game, where he gets some kind of true redemption arc and makes good on his word to atone for his wrongdoings. But. He is antagonistic in a looot of ways that people brush over because half his fandom likes to woobify him (the other half fully acknowledging that he’s awful and embracing it). He objectively still kidnapped, trapped, and gaslit dozens if not hundreds of people. The Mobile Fortress incident, an act of national terrorism, easily could have a death toll in the thousands. Even if getting revenge on Bill specifically was justified, ruining the lives of innocents in a disaster, not too much unlike the very one that killed his parents and led him down the path of destruction, was not. He deserves whatever consequences he gets and then some tbh. As an aside, while this thankfully isn’t as common as it was in the early 2010s, people shipping him with Flora leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. They have an 8-9 year age gap, with Flora being a minor (her age is never explicitly confirmed but per reasonable assumption, she can’t be above 15 *at most*), which seems to get conveniently forgotten about - not cool!! Their only significant interaction in the game is him kidnapping her after the big reveal, which while not worse in canon context than anything else he does, is gross to frame in any kind of shipping light.

[destinyc1020]

I don’t understand why fans need Tom to be A-list. He doesn’t even seem to want that for himself. He doesn’t go to any events, he doesn’t take any brand deals, he just does his work and goes home lol Let him be for goodness sake 😅 There are plenty of actors with great careers who are not A-list. He is still very young, his career will always be evolving.

I'm sorry to be this blunt on your blog destiny, but what the hell is this anon saying? Who in the world works in any profession and doesn't want to work to be at the top? Of course, Tom wants to be and is working to be the best in his industry.

When Serena was playing tennis, did she not want to win her set?

When England was playing in the euros, were they not aiming to win the tournament? They lost, but the aim was there, no?

I dont remember the last time Timothee went to a chanel fashion show, but he was recently an ambassador and got paid more than any actor or influencer who gets invited to Loewe lol. Even Austin with YSL, correct me if I'm wrong, but when was the last time he went to a fashion show? He didn't need to. When you are an a-list actor, you don't have to be in the trenches by heavily saturating yourself in the public to make a name for yourself. It's why Z wears archival despite being an LV ambassador.😭

Anon, idk if you've been following Tom long or not, but Tom himself has said that his priorities have long-since changed for his career.

He has mentioned before how back when he was getting a lot of fame for playing Spiderman, he came to LA with stars in his eyes (like many people lol) and dreams in his mind of becoming the biggest most successful young movie star in his age bracket. He was even seriously considering uprooting from London and moving to LA (I think Nikki put a stop to that rofl 🤣).

He then quickly realized (probably due to EXPERIENCE 👀) that being super famous isn't really all what it's cracked up to be. 🥴

As crazy as it sounds, not all actors want to be "movie stars". Some actors just want to ACT. Like, acting is seriously their passion. Some actors just want to make good movies and then be able to just chill and not have to deal with the craziness that comes along with a lot of fame.

You can't (imo) really measure acting and compare it with playing a sport. With acting, you're not really supposed to be competing against anyone but yourself. Are YOU growing as an actor? Are YOU improving? Are YOU feeling fulfilled? Are YOU making the movies that YOU want to make?

Some actors, are perfectly happy not really being in the limelight. It doesn't mean they're not successful.

Tom has said that now all he cares about is making movies with good people that he loves and cares about. It's less about being the biggest actor or being the "next Tom Cruise" for him, and just enjoying what he does. 🙂

I think a LOT of actors feel this way tbh. SOME actors of course want to be a movie star (I think Glen has been pretty honest about wanting this), but other actors just want to work with great directors, a great cast, and a great script. They just want to do the stuff they grew up watching and loving. It's not so much about being the "best" or being the "biggest star". Some actors, like Austin for example, just want to finally be able to get the chance to do the type of acting work that they've been dreaming about doing since they were young, instead of constantly being typecast or pigeon-holed. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I just don't think it's fair to claim that the Anon was wrong in her assessment, or that Tom is somehow not successful.

I personally think that Tom is doing just fine, and must be doing what he wants to be doing!

[ashtxeman]

*crashes through wall* got any aran hcs?

This post smells like BO, I think...

Aran is a strange lad to be sure. Everyone thinks he's a chaotic mess and a general nuisance, but in reality he's actually very chill! If you catch him on his own he's way quieter, albeit still loud but at least a bearable amount. He'll also crack jokes, have a good laugh, and if you're lucky he won't even say anything violent.

His top 'enemies' are Don, Narcis and Macho. 'Enemies' as in his favourite victims for pranks and other assorted Aran activities.. such as stealing Don's toupee and sticking it on a dog, replacing Narcis' shampoo with blended bananas or doing whatever the hell he feels like to Macho because Macho's too dull to predict anything. Not to mention all three of them have the best reactions, Don cusses him out in Spanish, Narcis cusses him out with some very creative nonsensical insults and Macho either gets confused or runs off screaming to Sandman.

Aran has a surprising amount of pets. Two weasels called Tom and Jerry (reference intended), a cat called Lucky, and a few lizards named Burren, Porter, Druid and Mulligan (all names of Irish pubs that Aran has definitely been to).

Aran is the biggest pansexual you'll ever see. He'll take anybody who comes his way, and then move on right after. The longest relationship he ever had lasted a week, and that was because he was in a coma for half of that week and couldn't tell her that he wanted to break up. The moment he woke up he asked her for a fiver and then went home and never spoke to her again. He continues to just take whatever comes along, but maybe beneath all of it he wants to find someone who can stay.

Aran got arrested for trying to fight a giant inflatable Santa when he got drunk, he spent a week in jail because he let all the animals out of a petting zoo, and another time he was arrested for illegally owning a pigeon (he called it Sky-Rat, when it was taken away he almost cried).

On a more serious note, he's been charged with assault 2 times because of some tedious fights.

Aran has some peculiar scars. He has a scar resembling a '7' on his chest because a fishing hook got caught on him whilst he was out with his Dad, but he also has one on his thigh because he tried to dive off a cliff and knocked himself on a rock.

He has one sibling, a younger sister named Erin. Their Mum, Fiona, thought it would be cute to give them similar names but they both hate it.

His Mum is in prison and his Dad is long gone, so he looks after Erin on his own.

His birthday is January 8th, the release date of the first Leprechaun movie.

Of course Aran can't drive. He's had his licence confiscated on five seperate occassions, but that doesn't stop him from finding a way to hop behind the wheel anyway.. just don't hop behind the wheel with him because you will either break something or die.

He is an absolute master at hiding pain. Usually he doesn't mind a bit of a sting but when things get bad (which they do), he hates to show it. There's a reason for it, that being..

He's deathly afraid of doctors.

Aran sneaks rides to Hondo's house so they can hang out together, plus he gets along well with Hondo's cat because they're both little bastards.

Huge anime fan. Similar to pain, he's a master at hiding it.

A very skilled artist! Not that he'd let anybody see his work..

He's a massive fan of fluffy pillows. There's nothing better than going home after a long day of making everybody elses day worse and snuggling into a poofy mass.

When his hair isn't in a ponytail he pretty much has a mullet.

Most of the time he has a four-leaf clover earing on his right ear, it's part of his brand.

He has a nickname for every boxer, albeit very uncreative ones. Examples include 'Cats' for Tiger and 'Bubbles' for Soda.

In the A-Bracket, Aran gets along best with Tiger and Hondo. His rival is Don.

In the B-Bracket, Aran gets along best with.. none of them, he doesn't go near them much because they smell like Narcis, who is of course his rival.

[semper-legens]

130. The Weakness, by K A Applegate

Owned: Yes Page count: 129 My summary: Jake is gone for a few days, leaving a power vacuum at the head of the Animorphs. Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem. But Rachel has some ideas, and they can’t wait for him to get back. Will the Animorphs thrive under her leadership, or will something end up breaking? My rating: 3.5/5   My commentary:

This one interested me for a few reasons. I keep looking out for standard kids’ book tropes in the Animorphs series, mostly because I’m interested in how Animorphs, a series with an impressive amount of subtlety and nuance for its age bracket, deals with them. The ‘our leader’s not here so we argue over who’s in charge’ isn’t an idea I could name or give some other examples of, but I feel like this is a Thing in other kids’ media, right? Anyway, let’s see how it goes here.

Leadership is of course the main theme of the book, and I feel like in other media, the lesson we’d learn was that Jake is the only one who can be the leader because he’s just so goshdarn good and reasonable. But nope! Turns out being a leader is hard, and the reason Rachel’s not as good at it really doesn’t have much to do with any of her inherent traits, it’s the demands of the role that ultimately break her.

A quick aside - the main antagonist introduced in this one is the Inspector, who is here to oversee Visser Three’s efforts to invade Earth. It’s a nice piece of continuity from Visser, showing that Visser Three’s still in the shit with the Yeerks, though the Animorphs might not actually know this, or at least not as in-depth as the reader does.

Anyway, the power vacuum boils down to a dispute between Rachel and Marco. Rachel, of course, has the flaw of being too aggressive, too gung-ho in her tactics, whereas Marco has a ruthless edge to him, a willingness to go too far and see others as numbers in some kind of giant trolley problem. It’s of course Rachel who actually gets the leadership position, and immediately the power goes to her head, with her concocting a plan to make Visser Three look bad before the Inspector by staging ‘Andalite’ attacks at various Yeerk-owned businesses in quick succession, letting the Inspector see how ill-prepared Visser Three is in dealing with them. It’s not a bad plan, and one I could actually see Jake suggesting, though I think he’d be a little more careful in picking the targets.

And, of course, something goes wrong. On one of their rampages, the gang scare an old man, and it turns out that he’s had a heart attack and died from it. This completely floors Rachel, who instantly cannot deal with the fact that she’s killed someone innocent. It’s a completely reasonable and very human reaction to the situation - often we get this image of Rachel, Unflappable Warrior Princess, but that’s when the targets are aliens or other bad guys. Ultimately, the point is that the true leader can shoulder the burden of being the one to make the call that might kill someone, of seeing two bad options and picking the less destructive, and that’s something Rachel just isn’t equipped for. I don’t think anyone really blames her for what happens, not really - Marco is snide about it, but Jake seems to understand when he shows up. It’s a real look at what happens when you’re responsible for this sort of guerilla war. Someone’s going to get hurt, there’s going to be collateral damage, and you need someone leading you into battle who can make those calls without flinching, and shoulder the burden of choice.

One brief aside - in her opening narration when she talks about Jake going away, she mentions that Tom has been left behind so that Jake doesn’t have to do ‘that whole “do I kill my brother to save my father” thing’ again. Just...I am really interested about how blasé she is about this, about just how jaded these kids are at this point. They’ve been through a hell of a lot, and can laugh at things like battles and conflicts. What happened back in that other book was legitimately pretty traumatising for Jake, and yet Rachel’s able to laugh it off. Poor kids.

Next up, it’s Ax time, and the Andalites are back.

[terrifictomholland]

37 and 39 on the smut prompt with Tom plssssss 🥵🥰😍

This was a really fun prompt thank you! I hope you’ll like it as much as I liked writing it for you!  🥰

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

You were at the local bar, sipping on a Sex on the Beach. It was fairly crowded, a buzz in the air, for a Saturday night, it was karaoke night so there had been some stellar performances and some not so stellar. 

Most of the customers were rowdy and laughing but you didn't mind it. It made you smile seeing other people letting loose and have fun. "This seat free?" a guy asked and you turned your head appraising him. He was hot, brown hair, brown eyes and a cute smile, and an absolutely gorgeous body. "Sure love," you said moving your purse and he gave you a grin, sliding into the seat ordering a beer.

"So what are you doing here alone?" he prodded and you let out a small laugh, "Who says I'm here alone?" "Well, if you weren't, why are you sitting up here and not with your company?" he had a point, you had to admit as much. "Touché," you smiled, clinking your glass against his beer bottle as the both of you sipped your drinks. 

"What's your name?" you asked curiously changing the subject. You didn't care if you came across as forward. The way his body was angled toward you, you doubted he minded. "I'm Tom, what's yours?" he asked holding his hand out. 

You glanced at it with a grin, taking it. "I'm Y/N," "Nice to meet you gorgeous," he smirked and you let out a laugh feeling the slight buzz when your hands touched. "You too babe." Judging by the way his eyes turned into an intense stare on your hands, he felt the same buzz as you did. "What are you drinking?" he asked after a moment, licking his lips and you eyed them. You wanted them on yours. "Sex on the beach," you smirked seeing the devilish smirk on his face, 

"That's the best kind," he said under his breath, but you still heard it and it sent a shiver down your spine. "I'm quite fond of couch sex myself," you shrugged seeing him choke on his drink.

"Oh?"

You had him wrapped around your finger now, so you simply stood up, took your purse and turned to look at him, "Let's get out of here," he chuckled, throwing some money on the counter then taking your hand. "Yours or mine?" he asked hailing a taxi. His hand that rested on the small of your back was burning through your clothes even though it was below zero outside.

 "Yours honey," you smiled as he let you inside the taxi first. He never stopped touching you through the entire ten minute drive to his place, his lips on your neck, nipping and kissing, your head tilted sideways letting him. 

He began rubbing your thigh innocently enough at first, but the closer you got to his place, the bolder he became. His fingers almost grazing your pussy just as the taxi pulled up to his flat complex and you wanted to cry in frustration.

You were soaked and he had barely even touched you yet.  You'd been no better yourself, touching his inner thigh, drawing patterns right below his cock and whispering dirty things you wanted to do to him, leaving the both of you out of breath and wanting more of what the night had to offer.

"C'mon," he urged taking your hand, adjusting himself subtly in his jeans. You licked your lips at the sight waiting by the door while he paid the taxi driver. 

Your whole body was buzzing and  you knew that a single touch from him would set you ablaze. You followed him inside, reaching his flat and you bit your lip as he unlocked it.

 "Hurry," you murmured coming to his side trailing your lips from his jaw down to his neck, licking and sucking there. "Fuck," he cursed. 

He was trembling as he finally unlocked the door and you hurriedly went inside first, hearing him shut and lock the door quickly behind you. You felt him come up behind you, his lips attaching themselves to your neck, picking up where he left off in the taxi. 

You tilted your head to the side, resting it against his shoulder as he assaulted your neck. You let out a tiny moan when he found your sweet spot, his teeth grazing it and you grinded your ass against his cock that was definitely chubbing up. 

He let out a curse feeling your ass against his cock, his grip on you tightening.

"Couch?" at that, a thrill ran through you in anticipation. "Hell yes," He led you over to it, sitting down and you wasted no time straddling his hips. 

Legs bracketed on each side of him as you leaned in, kissing him deeply. Those sparks you felt at the bar, they came back tenfold now.

His hands moving down to your ass giving it a squeeze and pressing you against his cock, all while your lips moved together in perfect synchronization. His tongue swept along the seam of your lips and you easily parted them, letting out a small moan when your tongues met and battled it out. "Can I suck you off?" you panted once the two of you broke away. Both of you out of breath with swollen lips. "Fuck yeah," his British accent coming out heavier and thicker the more turned on he got.

You got off him and rested on the side of him, quickly unbuttoning and undoing his jeans. He lifted his hips helping you push them down, along with his boxers. "Oh my god," you moaned seeing his cock for the first time.  You licked your lips seeing the way it curved up toward his belly, leaking pre-come at the slit. He was watching you with hooded eyes as you leaned forward and licked the slit, collecting the pre-come.

His hips jerked forward as your tongue came in contact with the slit. You glanced up at him and threw a wink at him before going in. 

Cheeks hollowed as you began sucking the head, teasing your tongue all along the vein on the underside, feeling him squirming underneath you. "Fuck," he hissed, head thrown back as you took more and more of him in your mouth. 

"Oh god," he moaned, his hand moving all the way down to your ass making you moan against his cock, sending vibrations through his whole body.

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?” he asked shakily, jaw clenching as you bobbed your head up and down. 

Briefly you pulled off him, looking at him with a glint in your eye,

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" right before you went back, taking as much of him as you possibly could. You felt your throat constricting as the head of his cock hit the back of your throat.

"You look so good with your mouth full of my cock," he moaned, as did you when you felt him tease your pussy and you let out a muffled moan, sucking harder.

He knew exactly what he was doing with his fingers, easing two fingers inside of you making you lost focus for a brief moment. You sped up, sucking more vigorously, tongue swirling around the head again.

 Your spit and his pre-come mixed together as you let your hand move down, fondling his balls, hearing the way he was moaning your name. "Oh fuck," he hissed, using his other hand to slap your ass and it jolted you forward just as you went down on him again. 

The force of the slap making you take all of him in your mouth, your nose touching his pelvis. You gagged as you felt him release without warning down your throat with a shout. You pulled off him, wiping your mouth seeing him give you a bashful smile.

"Sorry,"

"Don't be love, you taste like fucking candy.” you winked and he let out a throaty chuckle, moving his fingers inside of you with ease, finding a rhythm that had you moaning in seconds. 

He was making you see stars from his fingers alone and you started riding them all while he egged you on.

"Looking so sexy fucking yourself on my fingers sweetheart," he praised running his fingers lightly over the valley of your boobs, right before he switched his fingers with his mouth. Trailing a line of open-mouth kisses down to your belly button causing you to let out a breathy moan, throwing your head back. "Fuck me," you moaned lolling your head back, staring him right in the eyes.

 The fire and desire swirling around in his eyes was unmistakable. He removed his fingers making you whine at the loss, clenching down around nothing while he removed the rest of his clothes and rolled on a condom. You bit your lip seeing him lick his fingers clean of your juices and again, you clenched down around nothing as he rolled a condom on his cock.

"What a sight for sore eyes," he smirked and you grinned at him going over and getting on all fours on the couch, hearing his pained groan.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he moaned, as did you when you felt him running his fingers over your ass, giving it a quick and hard slap, spreading your ass cheeks and teasingly running his cock over your cheeks.

 Goosebumps appeared on your skin and you squirmed underneath him, feeling his cock dragging along your ass was a turn-on you didn’t know you had, but right now you wanted him in your pussy.

"Bet you're absolutely dripping sweetheart," he murmured huskily, his fingers dipping down between your folds, collecting your wetness and rubbing it all over your clit making you moan loudly. 

Your arms nearly giving out when you felt him push the tip of his cock inside of you. "Fuck," you whined, gripping onto the armrest for dear life. He was big and you could feel him everywhere inside of you. He was filling you to the brim and you closed your eyes in pleasure, you tried to soak it up and savour the feeling and pleasure it gave you.

"Ohmygod you feel so good," you moaned feeling him still once he was all the way inside, his hips meeting your ass. He was reaching spots inside of you that you had no idea existed as tiny bursts of electricity exploded behind your eyelids from sheer pleasure he was giving you. "So do you sweetheart," he grunted, teeth gritting together and jaw clenching as he tried his very best not to come on the spot. 

You were squeezing him like a vice. "Oh fuck," he hissed as he began moving and taking you on a ride. Your back arching, letting out tiny uh-uh noises as the force of his thrusts knocked your forward into the armrest each time.  

He was fucking you so good, his hips rolling in circles counter clock-wise and clock-wise. Making good on fucking your brains out. One of his hands coming up around your neck, giving it a light squeeze, choking you.

 "Tom!" you cried out feeling him slapping your ass as both of your moans and grunts filled the room. The smell of sex being overwhelming but you didn't care as you felt yourself nearing your orgasm.

His hips were snapping inside of you harder and faster, growing sloppier, letting you know he was almost there too."Come with me Tommy," you purred, turning your head staring at him over your shoulder. 

He cursed and gripped your ass and with a final thrust you felt him still and pulsate inside of you as he came. You let out a loud moan feeling yourself clench down around him and you came hard around him.

"Oh god," you heard him breathe heavily, him placing lazy and hot kisses all along your spine, making shivers run down your body.

 "That was so good," you murmured lazily, letting out a small giggle when he nipped your skin. The both of you calmed down and he had pulled out of you. The both of you laying on his couch just trying to catch your breath.

"So...ready for round two?"

[kaleidescope-writes]

Heart of Audrilluria- Chapter XVII; Bitter Reality

Modern Fairytale AU

Prince King!Tom Hiddleston x Thief! Reader

  The jet’s door opened welcoming both sisters back to the solemn reality they’d always known. Stepping out, they made their way to the car waiting for them on the other side of the landing platform of the private airport. As they walked side-by-side with their luggage in their hands, Y/N looked over to Amelie. “So we’re back,” she uttered weakly. Amelie gave her a cold glare, briefly before turning back to the car in front of them. “I refuse to speak to you until our little problem is fixed,” Amelie replied bitterly. They continued to walk in silence, nearing their ride with every step. As soon as they reached the car, Y/N opened the door to the back seat, allowing Amelie to enter first. The driver took their luggage and put it in the trunk. Once inside, the car started and their drive began. It wasn’t the limo they were used to, but they had to accept the fact that they were no longer in Audrilluria. After yesterday, it became a distant memory.

They rode in silence for about five minutes before Y/N turned to Amelie, “We have to talk about this eventually.” Amelie sighed, looking away from the window and glaring at Y/N. “What do you want to talk about? The fact that you decided to steal the replica? Or that you broke the necklace and left the jewel? Or maybe you want to talk about the fact that we now have to pay someone $10,000 to replace something you had in your grasp but decided to leave behind because you couldn’t do that to the love of your life. Which do you want to talk about, dearest sister?” she spat. 

“Ok look,” Y/N started, “it wasn’t my fault the replica broke as I was putting it in the carrier bag. I’m not responsible for making a weak bracket that caused the gem to fall out.” Amelie’s eyes widened in a hateful surprise. “And what about the rest?” she almost yelled, “What about you getting attached? Was that not your fault too?” 

“Yes!” Y/N cried out, loud enough to make the driver flinch slightly. “That is my fault. Because for a moment, a small blissful moment, I thought I could be more than that poor orphan that was forced to steal from people for a slice of bread everyday. For once, I thought that I could just be normal and experience normal things.” 

Amelie sighed heavily. She shook her head and turned to look at the window. “I don't want to do this now. Let’s just get to Andrew’s and get this over with.” Y/N let her head drop, giving up. They continued their ride in complete silence, each sister having their own drowning thoughts that made the silence tense. 

Their ten minute drive finally came to an end, reaching their handler’s place. The car came to  a complete stop and both sisters got out. “We’ll be in there for a few minutes. Keep the engine running,” Y/N said to the driver before making her way to the door, Amelie following close behind. Opening the door and stepping in, Y/N made her way to the furthest display case in the jewelry store. Amelie rang the bell and they waited for Andrew. 

“Sorry, we’re closed today due to a family emergency,” Andrew hollered from the backroom on the other side of the display case. “This is a family emergency,” Y/N replied. They heard shuffling before Andrew appeared in the doorway of the backroom. “Well, well, well,” he began, “If it isn’t the infamous L/N sisters. Where’s the heart?” “It’s nice to see you too,” Amelie spoke in a sarcastic tone, “And the heart is in  Audrilluria. What we have is the incomplete replica.” 

Y/N put the bag she’d been carrying on the display case. She opened it, revealing the well kept replica that was missing the blue heart. Even without its center jewel, it was beautiful. Andrew marveled in its beauty before picking it up to examine the missing piece. He looked at every detail carefully, taking in the craftsmanship and already forming ideas in his head. After a moment, he spoke “The jewels are sapphire replicas and the chain is steel painted to look like gold. The brackets are a bit weak, which is what caused one to break so easily. All in all, the necklace was made to be displayed, not worn. I can fix this within 24 hours and it will look good as new.”

“I knew  you could get this done,” Y/N praised, “We’ll see you tomorrow with the $10,000 ready.” Both sisters turned to leave, walking the same path they took to meet with Andrew. Exiting the shop, they made their way back to the car and got in. "I really hope this works," Amelie commented as they drove off, "Otherwise Vie will kill us both."

“They’re here!”

Y/N and Amelie got out of the car only to be attacked by a swarm of seven children hugging their legs, pulling their arms, and jumping up and down excited for their return. “Hey guys!” Amelie smiled as the driver took their luggage out of the trunk. “We missed you so much!” a brown haired, green eyed boy exclaimed. All of the children that surrounded them were between the ages of five and twelve. They were the kids that weren’t lucky enough to end up in an actual orphanage. Y/N and Amelie were the oldest. This was home.

“Mother Vie is waiting for you,” said a small voice coming from six year-old Michael. “We’ll go in a moment, Mikey,” Y/N said softly, internally dreading the moment they have to face that wretched witch. Their luggage was handed to them, but quickly taken away by the older children as they insisted they could take it. Hesitantly, they made their way through the dry leaves covering the floor and approached the old house that seemed to be falling apart a little more each day. One of the columns holding up the roof of the porch was almost completely leaning out of place. The majority of the windows were either broken or replaced with a wooden plank. It looked as if no one was living there. No one should be living there. Especially not children. 

They made their way up to the stair-less porch and climbed up an old, wooden box they’d use to get inside. The box itself was almost as worn as the house. They walked up to the door and Amelie knocked as hard as she could. Y/N stood next to her, waiting for Mother Vie to open the door for them. She looked up at the hole in the ceiling. She could see what was once the house’s balcony. The Balcony. She shook her head, not wanting to return to her grieving state. 

The door swung open, revealing an older woman dressed in clothes that looked maybe a few days old. “My girls!” She exclaimed, opening her arms seemingly to hug them. “Mother Vie,” they both responded bitterly. Vie stepped aside to let them in, still keeping that bright smile that had mysteriously appeared on her face when she saw them. They walked through the old, worn out house with broken furniture that barely stood and uncleaned floors and walls. 

Hell. They’d returned to hell.

“How was Audrilluria?” she asked, stopping in front of a seemingly newly purchased recliner and sitting down. “It was an experience,” Amelie said in the same tone as before. Vie shook her head, still keeping the unsettling smile from earlier, “I’m sure the entire time you were gone, you were missing home!” Home. Is that what this is?

The sisters just smiled forcibly. They didn’t want to be here again. Especially not with her. She was the one that picked them up from off the streets and took every opportunity she had to remind them about it. She was the one that forced them to become thieves. She was the reason behind years of hell and torture. 

“May we get to our room?” Y/N asked after a moment, “It was a long flight and we’re both exhausted.” Vie laughed, “Of course! We’ll talk about the pay at dinner. Tonight, everyone eats. Only to celebrate your success!” Both sisters gave her a false grateful smile before almost rushing to their room. The children were already waiting for them inside with their luggage. 

The room was small enough to be considered a small closet. For furniture, there were only two twin beds, two dressers, and a single broken mirror. Nothing  compared to their suite in Audrilluria. 

“Tell us about the fairytale kingdom!” Mikey exclaimed, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. The other children began to chant in agreement. “Ok, ok,” Amelie gave in, making them quiet down. “I won’t tell you all the adult stuff,” she began, giving a smirk in Y/N’s direction, “But I will tell you that Y/N fell in love with her charming prince.” The younger children began to squeal while the older children looked in a mix of disgust and awe. Y/N turned to give Amelie a look of sadness mixed with surprise. “Can you tell us about it?” Mikey asked eagerly. “No,” Y/N dismissed softly, “I can’t talk about that.” Amelie smiled to her, “Oh come on Y/N. Please!” The children followed her lead and soon, she gave in. 

“Ok, fine,” she said, sitting on the bed next to her suitcase. “His name is Thomas. He’s the nicest, most lovable person I’d ever met,” Y/N recounted, “He is well spoken and sweet and I fell for him so fast.” The children listened eagerly from their places on the floor. “How well spoken is he?” one of the older children, Daya, asked eagerly. “Well,” Y/N thought for a moment, “I have a note he sent me in my bag.” Suddenly, they began to chant for her to read the note. Y/N rolled her eyes, reaching into her bag and taking out the note. She began to read;  “Dearest Y/N, I hope you can accompany me to the gardens this afternoon to continue to establish our friendship. I didn’t see much of you yesterday and would like to make it up today. Please meet me in the Gardens. In the same place I showed you the first time.”

The room resonated with “aw’s” coming from everyone, even Amelie. “How did you meet him?” ten year old Allie asked. “Well,” Y/N began, a tear slowly forming in her eye as she remembered everything that happened. “When we arrived at the castle, he and his family were waiting for us.”---

~~~~~~~~~~

“Thomas, you can’t keep avoiding us,” Charles called into the office where Thomas stood leaning over a desk, looking at a stack of papers with the information of all the employees that worked in the castle. “I’m not avoiding anyone,” he responded, not sparing him a single glance, “I’m doing my job as king.” Charles sighed, stepping further into the office, “Well you could at least notify me of your game plan.” Thomas fixed his posture, standing up straight and motioning to the papers. “These are the resumes of all the employees that work or have worked in the castle. I’m going through them to look for anything that seems out of place. I know for a fact she didn’t work alone. If my hunch is right, someone in this stack of resumes knows who she really is and where to find her,” he explained. 

“I thought you said you never wanted to see her again,” Charles questioned, eyeing the papers. “I don’t,” Thomas replied simply, “I’m merely doing my job as king. She stole from Audrilluria and I intend to lock her up for it. My past personal attachment has nothing to do with this. She is a criminal and she must pay for her crimes against my kingdom.” Charles looked at him in surprise. He’d thought for sure Thomas would still be broken about all this. How much does someone’s heart have to break in order for them to put aside their feelings and focus on making them pay? With the way Thomas was acting, he was sure he’d find out soon enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I don’t have much to say about this one other than I really hope you enjoyed it!! I promise all will be resolved soon!! Anyway, what did you think? Feel free to let me know as feedback is always accepted and encouraged. Thank you guys so much for all the support, comments, and messages!! I love you all and I can’t wait to get to the Verdict!! See you tomorrow for the Chapter 18 preview!!! Lots of love and please stay safe!!!

Taglist is OPEN:

@ladyblablabla​, @tvdplusriverdale​, @pipolaki​, @myraiswack​, @shockwavee​, @harringtonb-blog​, @cynic-spirit​, @little-moonbeam-666​, @ochizokulevy​​, @swifitiedaylight​, @blue-honey-bee-from-france​ @scorpionchild81​,  @imnotrevealingmyname​ @whathefuckrichard69​ @frostedgiant​ @falling4uke​​ @accio-boys​

[winterheart17]

How A Writer Says Goodbye

TITLE OF STORY: How A Writer Says Goodbye

CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: Part 29

AUTHOR: winterheart17

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Loki

STORY GENRE: Romance, Drama, Erotica

STORY SUMMARY: I think we can all just agree this has turned into a proper series even though it started off as a compilation of one shots for my story ‘How To Love A Writer’! What happens when a struggling virginal historical romance writer and the God of Mischief are thrown together, locked in a mansion and agree to a game of love and seduction?

STORY RATING: M

STORY WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: None for this! Except perhaps some tissues (or at least I’d like to think there would be tears?)

FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Wow, I did not mean to be away this long! This chapter was one heck of a monster to conquer - especially being the penultimate chapter and the scene I’ve had in my head pretty much ever since the conception of this entire plot. I’m so sorry for the long wait and can only hope this 8000 word chapter can make up for it. Feedback would be wonderful and ever inspiring for writing updates! <3 Do let me know if anyone would like to be on or off the tag list.

Tagging @devikafernando @ureyesonly21 @nuggsmum @queen-sands @ihatespoilerss @say-my-name-assbut @hsvbabe @jrubalcaba @dandelionlady96 @ashleyloveslots  @kiera-auroraborealis @alexakeyloveloki @damageditem @lokilvrr @cuteandnerdythings @everythingeverywherelistening@wildest-dreams-at-midnight @tfwqueenidjit @xxxprettydeadgirlxxx @noplacelikehome77 @vertdragain  @jessiejunebug @toaster-strudel-witch @a7xlizardqueen @starscreamloki@tinchentitri @prettyjewel93@chantimoondancer @dangertoozmanykids101@winterisakiller @humbleslvt @aeciru @paanchu786 @midgardianstranger @sailorcrescentpotter1

Masterpost of How To Love A Writer

Alternate link to Masterpost of How To Love A Writer (in case the above doesn’t work)

Gif credit: clintfbarton

“But don’t worry – I don’t intend on loving him any longer.”

A sharp intake of breath to my side.

But I refused to be swayed – refused to look even as my heart called out his name.

Yearned to see him.

Longed to see what the face of love lost looked like.

What love denounced felt like.

Because the truth was, I had held onto those words for so long – gone over them in my head in rehearsed practice like a broke record – they felt like a sham.

Like they were nothing more than a pretense.

Something I would hold tightly onto each time he left me lost and bereft.

For all the times he had left me standing there with my heart in my hands – ripped raw out of my chest.

And I would like and tell myself that the choice was mine – I could walk away any day, any time.

It was the last sliver of dignity I had been clinging onto in the wake of the silence he kept long and strung between us.

Until now.

Until I said them loud and unwaveringly clear – hardly able to believe the words were falling out of my mouth.

But there they were -  hanging in the air.

Loud, heavy, clear.

And I had never believed in the more.

I don’t intend on loving you any longer, Loki.

Odin’s eyes narrowed on me, warily – filled with rousing suspicion.

His expression heavily guarded.

He looked at me like I as an untamed dog, frothing at the mouth, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.

Though, I suppose, he wouldn’t have been quite far off the mark.

Even the entire hall seemed to wait with bated breath – anticipating the next insult I would hurl at those of royal lineage.

It would have been almost comical – a Midgardian girl reducing all the immortals before her into scandalised shell-shocked silence with a shelling.

Almost.

“Then what is it you intend on doing?” he questioned, brusquely.

There it was – the question I knew was coming.

The answer I knew I had to give.

I swallowed.

A thud in my chest.

“I intend on…,” I started to say, trying to grasp onto all the liquid courage that had been running in my veins just minutes ago.

But the words dried up.

Felt like silt in my throat.

Dread in my belly.

The brackets around Odin’s mouth deepened – a sign that I was trying what little patience he had left for me.

“… leaving,” I finished, the word leaving my lips in almost nothing but a whisper.

Dissipating in the air.

But he caught it.

“What?” he breathed.

A stumble.

Disbelief.  

And I felt his eyes burn my skin.

But still I didn’t look at him.

Not even when the single syllable sounded so lost, so small– it was enough to put a lump in my throat. One that ached so much, my fingers itched to reach for my throat to hold it down.

Till it stopped feeling like every single word out of it would be cracked and broken.

I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

I steadied myself – let out a long, controlled breath as I held no one else but Odin in view.

Blocked it all out.

Pushed him away until the only thing I could focus on was mapping out my strategy to get the hell out of here.

“I--,” I started once more, testing the waters.

Feeling the firm weight of the word on my tongue.

Holding my voice firm.

Holding my heart down.

“I intend on leaving,” I finally pushed out.

The final word – a bite of bitterness.

So convincingly, the little voice in my head mocked.

No.

He didn’t have to say it.

I didn’t have to look at him.

But that single word of protest grew and grew – filling up the space between us, pushing us further than we had ever been apart.

A loud laugh of disbelief cut through the air.

Ehrendil.

“You intend on leaving?” he repeated, slowly and incredulously – clearly, the most ludicrous thing to have come from me the entire night.

I was forced to turn back to him – sucking in a breath as they dying embers of anger sparked back to life in the face of his arrogance.

How could anyone hate a stranger so much with no ground to stand on?

The downward curve of his lips and the distasteful scrunch of his nose – all in disapproval of me. All earned from nothing else but my existence.

His eyes narrowed.

“You…,” he hissed, venomously.

My hands clenched into fists.

“You think this child’s play?” he snapped, arms flung wide at the very public stage I had decided to pick my battles on.

I gritted my teeth.

It appeared – he wasn’t about to go down without a fight.

“Did you think you could escape unscathed?” he boomed, eyes flashing in anger.

There was a time when I would have felt my heart beating wildly in my chest.

Felt cold sweat cover clammy hands.

Tremble in front of such intimidating presence.

Eyes turned feverishly to him in search for answers.

Assurance.

But this time, there was none of that to be found.

A strange sense of calmness settling in the hollow of my chest.

As if nothing else quite seemed to exist in the space left in the wake of my decision.

I turned my attention to Halwen.

Her eyes darting about wildly like an animal cornered.

Do you see this, Loki? Do you see your beloved princess falling from grace in front of your very own eyes?

The bitter words echoed on the tip of my tongue.

Its tang, once sharp now reduced to nothing but a dull thud lying flat in the cave of my mouth.

I couldn’t help but feel a prick of pity for her.

This was how she had chosen to live.

“I think…,” I started to say, softly – my words seemingly addressed to Ehrendil, but it was startling clear to whom I was speaking to.

She leaned forward ever so slightly, ears pricked as her eyes tried to focus haphazardly on me.

“… you will find that it is in the best interests of everyonethat I return to Midgard,” I finished with a slight downward tilt of my chin as she met my gaze filled with intent.

Her lips parted.

And I couldn’t help but press on.

“Lest I should… run my mouth further on things I should not be commenting… frostilyabout,” I decided to throw in.

Perhaps a little juvenile.

Perhaps a little under the belt.

But it did the trick.

The flicker of recognition in her eyes morphed into a blanket of terror.

I could have sworn she choked.

My eyes flickered instinctively towards Odin and Frigga – wondering if they had heard and interpreted the intention behind my words.

It was a bold move considering if they called my bluff – I knew I wouldn’t push through with it.

Even if it meant that I would lose my chance at freedom.

I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t tear Loki down and expose his most feared secret in front of everyone. No, this was a battle he was going to have to fight on his own. On his own terms.

But they didn’t know that.

As far as they were concerned, I was nothing more than a bratty little Midgardian who seemed to have a penchant for running her mouth afoul and it wouldn’t be above me to let loose information that could potentially wreck their alliance.

And for a second, just for a second, I saw the effect of my words.

Saw the crack it made in their surface of calmness.

Got a glimpse into the nerve I had struck.

I drew in a deep breath.

This could work.

I tried to still the slight shake of my hand – the bravado now wearing a little thin.

“Fa—father…,” Halwen started to say, shakily.

This was her last chance at getting a shot at Loki and this entire hullabaloo. Once the cat was out of the bag, there was no way in hell her father would allow their family name to be sullied by Frost Giants.

I’d never had proper interaction with one – well, save for Loki and that really wasn’t saying much in their favour to begin with – but judging from the way they were treating humans like second, scratch that, third class citizens, one could only imagine the sort of havoc he would wreck here in Asgard.

Ehrendil shot her a withering glare and you could see her visibly shrink back into her seat.

“What other travesties could this Midgardian wench possibly spew?” he snarled, whipping his attention back towards me.

Unhinged.

Like an uncaged tiger.

Ready to pounce.

“Fa—father, if she were to re—return to Midgard, all will be as it wa--,” Halwen had barely gotten the words out of her mouth when his face darkened.

He whirled around and his glower was enough to put a stop to it.

“If she were to return to Midgard? If?” he repeated, his voice a rising, angry tenor.

Her face crumbled – almost admitting defeat before she had barely begun.

Gee, wonder what sort of childhood that must have been like for her.

“If we allow her to walk away today unscathed – ifword gets out that we do not punish severely those who dare look upon us with such insolence and impertinence, we will no longer be beings to be revered,” he bellowed.

And it was back to the drawing board.

His pride.

“Odin, is this how you would allow your guests to be treated?” he pursued, eyes filled with animosity now as they turned to his Asgardian counterpart.

Odin’s face was grim – lips pressed together so tightly, a line was all to be seen.

His eyes were cold and calculating – racing to assess the situation.

Frigga placed her hand gently on his forearm – a reassuring gesture.

But one that apparently irked Ehrendil.

“Well… ?” he challenged Odin’s silence, brusquely.

His features pinched and sharp.

“King Ehrendil, please, for--,” Odin began to speak, or rather, should I say grovel – except he was saved from the horror and shame of having to do so.

“She’s my guest too,” Loki cut in, unexpectedly.

I had to do a double take.

I had thought he would have done what he had done best all this while – kept his silence.

And tried as I might – I couldn’t help but feel a tingle in my chest.

That, however, had quite the opposite effect on Ehrendil whose face darkened.

“You!” he spat out, accusingly, eyes narrowing.

Like a shark looking for its next prey.

“You have no say in such matters,” he growled.

And there was blood in the water.

“I have no say in the matter?” Loki, scoffed.

An eyebrow arched – his tone deliberately mocking as if Ehrendil had the mental capacity of a teaspoon.

“I beg to differ. The last I recall, we are precisely at this farce of a dinner because I did not wish to wed your daughter. I’d say there is plenty for me to say about the matter,” he threw back.

A little too smoothly.

A little too eloquently.

It did nothing but stroke the fires of rage higher in Ehrendil.

“Then you are a fool,” he spat out venomously at Loki.

He gestured towards Halwen.

“You would give up the glory and recognition that would come from binding our name to your family?” he questioned, his voice so full and swollen with arrogance.

All that stemmed merely from birthright.

And there it was.

He halted.

If only for a second.

But it was enough.

That was the chink in his armour.

That little waver of uncertainty that was enough to cut through his conviction thus far of not marrying Halwen.

Because it was no longer about her – it was about the power and acceptance her hand in marriage would bring.

And somehow, standing in the warm glow of the Hall, with his shoulders set back and his chin tilted upwards in defiance – was the Prince I had first met a long, long time ago.

Before I knew him.

Knew all his fears, insecurities, and the desperate need for acceptance.

Before he knew me.

Knew all my worries, self-doubt, and craving for love so intimately.

Before I had told him I love him.

Before this hollow pang in my chest that came in the wake of his silence.

And Halwen saw right through it all.

An opportunity.

“Loki…,” she pleaded, her voice small and sweet – begging for his attention.

He looked over at her – eyes hazy and unfocused as if he had just spent an eternity wrestling for an answer to Ehrendil’s question.

I wondered who it was he saw sitting there, quivering in her seat.

Was it still the same girl with hair like sunshine he had thought himself in love with?

“W—we could put everything behind us. Ca—carry on as we did before,” she stammered.

No.

That word clanged hollowly inside of me.

“Can we?” he echoed, mindlessly.

The words carrying no weight – floating in the air.

I swallowed.

She nodded her head, fervently.

His response spurring her into action as she leaned forward, eyes sparked bright and face animated once more.

“We can send the Midgardian home and all will be as it was before,” she scrambled, seizing whatever small lifeline he had thrown to her end.

Her voice a little shaky, a little nervous – but there was no mistaking her intention.

His eyes narrowed on her.

Ears pricked.

“As long as we are married, as long as we are able to form an alliance…,” she said, her hand sweeping wide to gesture at her father and Odin.

“… the Midgardian is inconsequential,” she finished with a slight nod of her head.

I had to bite down on my tongue.

Hard.

Inconsequential?

We’ll see how inconsequential I am when I’m stuffing your spleen down your throat.

And in case we didn’t hear the underlying meaning in her words the first time, she reiterated.

“She would be free to return to Midgard,” she stressed, eyes flickering towards me.

There was no mistaking the thinly veiled threat.

The exchange she was speaking of.

“You conniving little bitch!” I spat out, unable to hold it in any longer.

God, if I could, I would fling myself across the table and pluck every single pretty strand of hair from her head.

One by one.

But before I could get another word in, he cut me off.

“Enough,” he bit out, coldly.

A pause.

Long and strung out.

I looked at him – eyes wide and filled with incredulity.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

I wanted to scream and shake him.

There was no way in hell he was contemplating what it was she was suggesting.

But he turned to look at me, slowly.

Softly.

Gently.

And I was already shaking my head before his lips could even part.

Could even say what I knew was dancing on the very tip of his tongue.

I grabbed his forearm, nails digging in.

“Don’t you dare,” I warned.

And suddenly, I found myself blinking furiously.

Eyes shiny and bright.

Trying to keep the tears in.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” I hissed, tightening my grip.

He faltered.

Lost and raw.

His lips parted.

“Listen…” he started to say, voice cracking.

And I just about lost it.

“No, you listen,” I snarled, so forcefully, he flinched.

I yanked at his arms, eyes searching his desperately as I scrambled to make him see.

Make him understand.

“Don’t do it for me. Do it because you want the power. Do it because you want the acceptance. Hell, do it because you still want h--…” I seethed, suddenly stopping short.

Want her.

That was what I had wanted to say.

Except, the words dried in my mouth.

Got stuck in my throat.

And the very thought of him still wanting her was like a hand around my heart – squeezing it tight.

“… her…” I managed to choke out.

“But…” he started to protest.

I shook my head.

“I would rather never return to Earth than to be used as a manipulation tactic,” I fumed.

He wanted to object.

Wanted to fight me on this.

I could see it in his eyes.

Please no, I mouthed.

See the worry and the frustration there all too blindingly well.

“Please, no,” I whispered, voice straining.

And then his eyes softened.

The tenderness that filled them – arresting.

I could barely breathe.

But he knew.

Even if he didn’t like it, he knew.

The corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly.

So weakly.

“Okay…” he whispered.

Okay.

The lump in my throat moved.

But before either of us could get another word in, Ehrendil swept in.

“It is settled then!” he announced, abruptly – cutting our tender moment short.

As we both turned back towards him, a furrow settled between Loki’s brows.

“What is settled?” he demanded to know.

Ehrendil scowled.

“The betrothal…” he seethed, before looking at me, pointedly.

“… in exchange for the Midgardian’s safe passage back,” he warned.

Are you fucking kidding me?

It was one thing to be arrogant, but to so blatantly disregard someone else’s decision… man, if I had thought of wanting to pull the stick out of his ass before, I wanted nothing more than to put my foot up it right now.

“I would rather starve to death here,” I spat back.

And I had the pleasure of seeing his eyes narrow in fury as they locked onto me – a growl escaping from his lips.

“Then so be your death wish,” he sneered.

And just as I was about to taunt him – about to throw back that there was nothing more insufferable than being in his company – Odin interjected.

“With all due respect, King Ehrendil – my son has not agreed to enter this union with your daughter,” he announced.

His words were polite – but his tone, a warning.

Oh.

I looked over at Loki who sported an equally puzzled expression at his father’s sudden defense of him.

First came a hazy glaze over Ehrendil’s face as if trying to decipher the situation – trying to make sense of the words.

His bottom lip quivered.

Lips parted.

And that was when it hit him.

“Do you not seek to make amends, Odin?” he growled.

His brows furrowed – his lips turned up in almost a perpetual sneer.

“I seek to keep the peace between both our kingdoms, King Ehrendil,” Odin appealed.

That appeared to appease him.

A little.

“Then we are of one mind,” Ehrendil declared, to which Odin gave a nod of acquiescence.

A pause.

Then, a smile cracked across Ehrendil’s face before he threw his hands in the air and let out a hearty laugh.

“Then I seenothing standing in the way of this betrothal,” he declared, and I had a good mind to smack him on the upside of his head and ask if he was blind.

Hello?

Nothing?

We are standing right here in front of you.

Odin hesitated.

His shoulders tensed.

And Queen Frigga saw it as her cue to jump in.

“King Ehrendil,” she greeted, a slight bow of her head in respect.

His eyes moved towards her.

“Perhaps these are matters best spoken and sorted out amongst the younger ones… in private?” she put forth, graciously.

His face immediately darkened.

“Should matters of the kingdom not be heard by the people, Queen Frigga?” he challenged.

Odin moved to place his hand atop Frigga’s – a scowl gracing his face.

A storm brewing.

“You speak of keeping peace – but you are courting a war,” Ehrendil growled.

“I do not seek war – but I will not allow my arm to be twisted. Not on Asgard,” Odin snapped.

Ehrendil’s eyes flashed with anger.

“Is that a threat, Allfather?” he thundered, glowering.

“It is a reminder, King Ehrendil, that this is Asgard and your men are but a few,” Odin cautioned.

The entire room immediately tensed.

There was no drawing of weapons and no clashing of swords but I would have been a fool not to have noticed how Ehrendil’s men suddenly stood to attention – hands reaching for their sheath.

Grim faces.

Held breaths.

Almost as if a single exhale would be enough to tip the scales.

Queen Frigga leaned in to whisper into Odin’s ear – presumable something along the lines of calm the fuck down.

But he raised a hand to quiet her warning.

This was not a God to be trifled with.

Not especially when his kingdom was under threat.

“You would take me captive?” Ehrendil questioned, angrily.

“I would take you as Asgard’s honoured guests,” Odin retaliated.

“You would have me and my daughter stand for such humiliation?” Ehrendil snarled.

“We would have you and your daughter extend to our son the graciousness your people are said to have run in their blood,” Queen Frigga interjected.

Possibly worried her equally hot-headed husband would say something far more regrettable.

That gave him cause for pause.

It was a cleverly worded sentence, I’d give her that.

It was both a warning and stage for a gracious exit she had built for him to take.

What more in front of others?

To take the exit so gracefully handed to him would be for others to see how magnanimous he was – but to go to war over a broken betrothal would reek of pettiness.

Childishness.

His eyes narrowed briefly on Frigga – seeing through her ploy.

A ruse it may be – but it worked.

The corners of her lips turned up ever so slightly as she bowed her head down once more.

Perhaps it was the slight slacking of his jaw or the dulling of the rage in his eyes – but she could see it was a battle more than half won.

More than half.

But still, we weren’t out of the woods just yet.

His eyes flickered towards me, a scowl slashed across his face.

“What of the Midgardian?” he questioned, addressing the elephant in the room.

I straightened my back, shoulders tensing as I braced myself.

I hadn’t expected an easy way out.

Hell, I would be lucky if the only thing they decided to do with me was to throw me into a dark cell.

Odin turned to look at me, slowly.

He didn’t seem all too pleased.

Being called out on being a bad parent, apparently, wasn’t the best way to get into his good graces.

Loki started.

“Father…” his voice low and cautionary.

But Odin’s hand shot up, putting a stop to anything else Loki had to say.

His face was grim – lips pressed together tightly as if reluctant to pass a verdict.

Instinctively, Loki looked over to Frigga – lips parted.

And I didn’t even need to see his face to know that the silent plea that resonated in the single word he mouthed: “Mother”.

She grimaced, a slight tilt of her chin acknowledging his ask for help.

Her eyes passed over me and I felt a strange lump lodge in the back of my throat.

While there was no hostility – there was no approval to be found there either.

Only a glimmer of kindness and compassion.

Empathy.

But that was more than enough for me.

She cleared her throat.

“King Ehrendil,” she began, gingerly, wary of poking the sleeping bear.

He looked over to her, his eyes narrowing in displeasure as her voice gave way to her intention.

She took his silence as a means to forge forwards.

“Let us not allow anymore seeds of discord to be sown between us. As she has expressed her wish to lea—” she started to reason, but he cut her off, abruptly.

“With all due respect, Queen Frigga, this is an answer I require from…” he bit out, trailing off as his eyes moved to lock on Odin.

“… the rulerof Asgard,” he finished, rudely brushing Frigga aside.

Venom piercing into every word.

He may have acquiesced everything else prior, but it was clear his anger was still bubbling close to the surface.

He needed something to appease it.

A sacrificial lamb of sorts.

Me.

Frigga paused, her hand lowering to rest gingerly on Odin’s arm as he locked eyes with Ehrendil.

“I would advise you choose your next words wisely and carefully, Allfather,” Ehrendil taunted, the corners of his mouth lifting in a perverse smug smile.

A calculated move.

He had weighed his options thoroughly – knowing it would reflect poorly on Asgard if they didn’t meet him halfway after he had conceded the first half of the battle.

Impending dread filled my chest as my feet were rooted to the spot.

“Very well,” Odin replied with a tilt of his chin.

Ehrendil’s smile widened.

“Father,” Loki moved to protest.

But it was of no use.

“Thor,” Odin commanded, ignoring the plea.

And the figure that had remained mostly silent throughout this entire charade suddenly moved to life.

“Father?” Thor echoed, puzzled that his name would even enter the equation.

Odin spared him a glance, pausing.

His brows furrowed and expression grim.

“As the leader of our army…” Odin began only for Loki to interrupt.

“Father,” he barged in, voice low – the rising note of worry building into a lump in the back of my throat.

A split second pause.

The furrow between Odin’s brows deepening as he let out a long exhale, barely sparing Loki a glance.

My heart sank.

Not so much for the sentence that I knew was coming, but for the way Loki was once again, brushed aside.

“… you are to escort the Midgardian t—” he started to order when he was cut off.

“You neverlisten,” Loki bellowed.

His rage and frustration – so raw and palpable, I couldn’t help but torn to look at him.

There he was.

Red spreading across his skin like wildfire – eyes bright and shiny from all the years of rejection culminated into this very moment.

His chest rising and falling with the exertion.

The frustration.

His uncontained vulnerability.

Spilling out.

For me.

My throat moved.

Odin looked at him – face awash in disapproval as he raised a brow slightly.

“… to Heimdall…” he pressed on.

“Wh—what?” Loki stumbled.

Heimdall?

What was that? Some sort of name they had given their dungeons?

I glanced over at Loki for answers – but he seemed too stunned. Rooted in his place, blinking at Odin.

Oh God. Maybe Heimdall is the name of their executioner.

That would explain why Loki had suddenly turned three shades paler than his usual pasty self.

His expression wasn’t exactly the most reassuring.

“What?” Ehrendil thundered.

I looked over at him.

And he was livid.

Nearly frothing at the mouth, really.

He sent a goblet clattering across the floor.

Oh.

I looked around in bewilderment, not entirely sure what the fuck was going on and nobody seemed to be gracious enough to explain to me.

Until my eyes settled on a pair of twinkling blue ones that echoed with a similar and nostalgic spark of mischievousness.

Perhaps there was a bond of brotherhood after all.

“Heimdall is the Gatekeeper,” Thor murmured.

“Riiight,” I nodded, as if that was supposed to make any sense.

“What does that even me--?” I started to ask, but Ehrendil’s roar cut short whatever clarity I was searching for.

“You would darelet her go in my presence?” he demanded, furiously.

Odin glared at him – straightening his back and squaring his chest.

“I would, as ruler of Asgard,” he growled back.

It was synonymous to a slap across Ehrendil’s face who stood there, frozen – as if unable to quite believe the blow he had been dealt.

Before he could react, Odin turned back to us, eyes flashing with anger and impatience.

“Thor, did you not hear me?” he snapped.

“Ye—yes, Father,” Thor stumbled, rising to his feet, clumsily.

“As your King, I command you to escort the Midgardian to Heimdall where she shall return to Midgard…” he barked, pausing to shift his attention to me.

His eyes narrowed.  

There was no mistaking that his next few words were directed at me.

“… and neverbeallowed to return to Asgard,” he finished, with a warning curl of his bottom lip.

I swallowed, palms balmy as I swayed slightly on my feet.

He raised his chin, his gaze stormy and penetrating.

This was make or break.

“Is that understood?” he asked.

The question was seemingly directed at Thor, but his eyes spoke otherwise.

I nodded.

Barely discernible.

Throat parched.

But the message was sent.

And he gave a gruff grunt in acknowledgement.

If I could have breathed a sigh of relief, I would have.

My shoulders sagged forward and my lips curved up into a smile.

Perhaps, he wasn’t too bad after all.

And for a second, just for a second, I couldn’t help but hope Loki would be able to mend the rift between him and Odin.

I still didn’t care too much for him and he could definitely use a read or two from How To Communicate for Dummies – but it was obvious he cared.

I knew he couldn’t care less what sorry fate befell me and the only reason he was sticking out his neck and risking the wrath of the pompous King he had spent years butter up to was because Loki had asked.

Had begged on my behalf.

But before I could look at Loki – look at him and tell him gently that it was going to be alright.

Look at him and feel my heart surge tenderly in my chest, a loud roar of rage disrupted the air.

“You would disrespect me as such?” Ehrendil bellowed, lunging forward in my direction.

His facial features contorted in anger.

It didn’t matter that his hands hit an obstruction or that the entire table was between us.

He looked feral.

His guards started to move forwards, the sound of swords being drawn from their sheath filling the air and I flinched.

Stumbled clumsily.

Only to be yanked backwards as Loki placed himself in front of me.

Shielding me – fingers still wrapped around my wrist.

“Lo—Loki…” I stammered, his name suddenly feeling like a safe prayed on my lips as his shoulder tensed – standing guard.

“Thor,” Odin barked as Thor moved towards Loki, forming a line of defense.

My other hand reached out instinctively to clasp the hand Loki still had on my wrist.

And even though my heart was pounding in my chest and my head was throbbing from the overwhelming intensity of the situation – I had never felt safer.

Seeing his back turned towards me – the slight glimpse of his profile as he moved his head left and right.

Tensed.

On guard.

Ready to strike at any sudden movement.

Protecting me.

“You have your orders – take her!” Odin thundered as we began to retreat.

Slowly.

Gingerly.

Asgardian guards slowly coming to our aid – flanking us.

Ehrendil turned towards Odin – eyes alight with spite.

Frigga arose carefully.

Taking her place beside her husband.

“If I were you – I would think very carefully of the consequences your actions will yield,” Ehrendil sneered.

Odin’s eyes flared.

He did not take to threats lightly.

“I have done so – thoroughly. And I have given my orders,” Odin barked.

Ehrendil gritted his teeth – glaring at him.

“Guards…” he called out.

And his soldiers moved to life upon the command – slowly encroaching upon us.

Our backs were turned towards the entrance – a slow retreat still as Asgardian guards began forming a barricade between us.

It was like a game of cat and mouse.

Odin’s eyes flickered towards us.

Almost.

Almost.

I whipped my head around, heart in my throat as escape came within grasp.

So close.

“I believe it is you who will need to think very carefully of the consequences your actions will yield,” Odin warned.

A scowl in return.

“Yes, it appears that Asgardians excel in delivering threats to their… guests,” he mocked with a sweep of his arm.

Odin clicked his tongue – cocking his head to the side.

“You mistake an amicable reminder for a threat, old friend,” he admonished.

Ehrendil scoffed.

“I have made no such mistake and you are laying waste to years of friendship. You do not want to be courting this enemy,” Ehrendil warned in return.

Odin shook his head.

“Is there a need for this? She is but a Midgardian who has spoken out of her place – surely your reputation should withstand the few jabs of a sharp tongue? Does she warrant warfare and the destruction of truce between both our kingdoms?” Odin appealed.

“She does not offend me – her words do not carry weight. But rather, it is yourreluctance in conceding her as a peace offering to appease my anger that insults me. First, the breaking of the betrothal. Then, the insolence of a Midgardian – neither of which I had found satisfaction in. If you cannot bring yourself to sacrifice a mere Midgardian to uphold the truce – why should I?” Ehrendil hissed.

“New alliances and bonds may be forged in the place of broken ones. But there is noreturn from the suffering that will befall our kingdoms should we go to war, old friend. My army, I warn, will not be lesser rivals to yours. It is a war that neither of us will win,” Odin persuaded.

A grimace on Ehrendil’s face.

It was the truth.

The hard truth that wrestled with his pride and ego.

But it was enough for Odin who saw a crack in his façade – an opportunity to take the last shot.

“Should word transpire that the suffering we would have brought upon our people was sparked by a Midgardian – by inconsequential words – surely, we would be trifled as rulers and despised as kings,” Odin pushed on.

A pause.

A tic in Ehrendil’s jaw.

“Brother…” Thor whispered, his stance low and hunched.

As if ready to pounce at the sound of a pin dropping.

“… if things go south, you take her and flee to Heimdall. I will hold off the pompous King and his minions with my guards,” he muttered.

Oh, Thor.

And even though the words were said for my benefit, it was Loki they hit the hardest.

He froze.

A sharp intake of breath.

And he turned his face away briefly.

It was hard on him – trying to reconcile all his years of envy and neglect with his deep-seated need for a genuine bond with his brother.

I wanted to tell him it was okay.

It was okay to let Thor in.

It was okay to have his brother.

It was okay to be… loved.

Thor glanced over – puzzled at the silence.

“We may have had our squabbles, but do not fight me on this, brother,” he said, misinterpreting the situation.

“Who said anything about fighting you on this?” Loki shot back, the words yanking him back from his momentary lapse in concentration.

“Loki…” I muttered, and if I could kick him in the shins, I would have.

He turned around – shooting me a glare, as if annoyed that we would have the audacity to think he was capable of being worried for Thor’s safety.

“Far be it from me to detract from his act of heroism and suicide mission,” he rebuked.

I opened my mouth – stinging words at the ready to take him down a peg or two but we were yanked back to reality.

“Come, old friend, let us not waste another breath on such trivialities when we should be in talks of forming new alliances. She will be sent back to Midgard and be done with it!” Odin said.

Ehrendil raised a brow.

“What of such new alliances?” he questioned, his guard still high up.

Odin paused.

“There are other… resources beyond marriage, which you will find of… want,” he relented, his voice measured.

That did the trick.

Ehrendil’s ears pricked.

And he struggled to maintain his unimpressed façade.

But would it be enough?

He pursed his lips.

And I held my breath.

“Your decision?” Odin pursued.

Ehrendil cast a striking glare at me.

“Guards…” he commanded.

His eyes narrowed.

And there so much spite and brutal contempt in them, I couldn’t help but feel a shiver down my spine.

I squeezed Loki’s hand.

“Fall back”.

It was a long and quiet walk to the bridge we had first arrived at.

Once Ehrendil had given us the clear, there were no obstacles standing in our path as both he and Odin adjourned to a quieter space to discuss the new alliances they would form and the resources that they would share – although, it appeared the exchange would be heavily in Ehrendil’s favour.

We filed a singular line.

Thor leading the pack as Loki guarded our flank – mistrustful of Ehrendil still.

What else was there to say?

My mind raced as I tried to cram every single detail of what we had been through into the last few ticking minutes we had together.

Oh.

My heart stung.

As we crossed the rainbow bridge – the one Thor referred to as the Bifrost Bridge – I looked around.

Taking it all in.

Drinking in the light and the water and the infrastructure that were all otherworldly to me.

It’s beautiful.

The vastness and intricacies of this other world.

If only there was some way to capture some of its magic – of stowing away some of its ethereal light for me to look back upon when my days were dark.

And there would be dark ones.

Dark, cold, empty ones.

My chest felt hollowed out – all the adrenaline and courage that had been coursing through my body and filling my heart during the standoff now drained away.

I will never see this again.

The thought rang out loud and sudden inside my head.

I will never see him again.

It thudded inside my chest.

Raw.

Dead.

But before I could turn around to take a look at the dour-faced green-eyed Prince, we stopped.

Right outside this huge golden dome.

“We have arrived,” Thor announced, a little too chirpily.

I nodded my head – voice stuck in my throat.

As if I had ran out of words after that intense exchange with Odin and Ehrendil.

I looked at Thor – his smile wide across his face. So sunny, so bright, so cheerful – for a split second, I wondered what it would have been like if he had been the one sent to Earth instead.

“Heimdall awaits inside,” he prompted.

I tilted my chin forward in acknowledgement.

“Can you… give us a moment?” I asked, softly.

Weakly.

He paused, eyes flitting to look at the figure behind me for a second.

And realization dawned.

He cleared his throat.

“I’ll… erm… I will speak with Heimdall,” he announced, clumsily.

I gave him a weak smile – partly in amusement as he clunkily made his absence.

The smile plastered across my face – as if the outer corners were held up by puppet strings – until Thor’s shadow disappeared from sight.

And then it fell.

Be brave.

Be brave.

Be brave.

Those were the two words I kept repeating over and over again in my head.

As if they would have been enough to brainwash the heartache I had always envisioned would come with this moment.

I took in a deep breath.

This would be the last time I would be speaking with him, seeing him – this was notthe time to freeze.

“I guess… this is it?” I said, trying to make light of the situation as I turned around, slowly.

Except my voice was cracking.

Cracking and cracking.

Like the miserable existence I felt just standing there.

Just standing in front of him.

And God, as I turned around and saw him – bathed in the beautifully ethereal golden light of Asgard – my heart broke.

This wasit.

The moment I had feared and embraced all at once.

“Don’t go,” he said, softly.

So soft, I could have imagined them.

But there he was, swaying ever so slightly on his feet – looking at me as if I was taking part of his world away.

“You know I have to,” I said, voice croaking.

Even that lacked conviction.

Because what else was I supposed to say? What else could I say when the person I love was standing there – looking at me like that – asking me not to go?

When the only thing I wanted to do was to run into his arms?

And so, I turned to the only thing I could.

The only thing that would prevent me from dissolving into a huge weeping mess.

“Loki, I…” I started to say and his ears pricked.

Light briefly entering his eyes.

“Yes?” he asked, voice picking up a notch.

And I knew he wasn’t going to like what I was about to say.

Not one bit.

But it had to be said.

It was either now or never.

“Make amends with your… brother and father,” I said, softly.

Pushing the words out.

“Wh—what?” he stumbled, blinking.

The sentence clearly completely different from what he had been expecting.

“Make amends with your… br—” I began to repeat myself but he cut me off with scowl.

“I heard you the first time,” he said, gruffly, brushing me off.

But I was undeterred.

I needed him to know.

Wanted to be sure.

You’ll have someone with you after I’m gone.

“The events today should have shown you that they caredeeply for you,” I pursued, much to his annoyance.

He shot me a glare.

Crossed his arms over his chest as he squared his shoulders.

Gearing up for a fight.

“The events today would not have transpired if Odin had not conveniently used me as a bargaining chip without even disclosing my identity to begin with – something youwould know very well off,” he retorted – pointing to the moment in which I had used his secret identity as leverage.

I flinched.

I couldn’t help it.

Even when I knew he didn’t mean them.

When he had said those words out of retaliation.

Out of anger.

I paused, eyes flickering downwards.

My heart hurting that he had thought even remotely for a second that I would have gone through with it.

“I wouldn’t have done it, you know…” I said, softly.

Silence.

I looked up, wondering if he had heard me.

He did.

His expression – soft and tender.

All the animosity and sharp edges bleeding away.

Until nothing but warm honey pooled between us.

“I know…” he whispered.

My eyes widened.

I swallowed.

“Do you?” I couldn’t help but ask, the words slipping out so gently and effortlessly.

Heart hanging onto the desperate need for validation.

His eyes softened.

Lips pressed together as he tilted his chin downwards.

“Yes,” he yielded.

The corners of his lips lifting into a soft, wan smile.

“You don’t know how else to love me,” he said, tenderly.

So selflessly.

So utterly.

He knew.

God, he knew.

At least there was that.

And the lump that he had put in my throat bubbled up.

“Ca—can we…” I started to say, but choked.

My chest tightened.

“Ca—can we not spend our last fe—few minutes fighting? Please? I rasped out.

I couldn’t speak.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t breathe.

I searched his eyes.

Desperate.

Pleading.

And finally, he relented.

Nodding, the smile disappearing.

Sadness settling into all the nooks and crannies of his face – seeping out of his skin.

I grabbed his hand.

Squeezed it.

Held it tight.

I didn’t care any longer.

There were no restrictions.

Not in this moment.

“Listen to me, Loki. Please,” I begged.

Needy.

Whiny.

And he looked at me with eyes soft and yielding.

A deep breath.

“You knowI can’t stand Odin – God, if I could go back in time to say all those words I had said, I would. You know,” I swore, fingers curling over his hand.

So hard, nails dug into the flesh.

“But he caresfor you,” I reasoned and tried as he might, he couldn’t stop the distaste from sparking in his eyes.

His hand went slack – pulling away.

I reached out.

Held on.

Pulled back.

Refusing to let him distance himself.

He looked at me – eyes searching my face.

Fervently.

Intimately.

Silence stretched out between us.

“What do you want from me?” he asked.

The question hanging softly in the air.

His eyes wide and raw and vulnerable and I wanted nothing more in this world than to tell him how much I love him.

God, do I love him.

“To stop pretending to be somebody else,” I whispered.

The words slipping out so quietly, so effortless from my lips before I could stop them.

They hollowed me out.

He froze.

Like freezing water to his face.

But there was no going back now.

I squeezed his hand.

Held it a little tighter.

Held it a little longer.

Stepped in closer.

So close until I could almost imagine his breath on my face.

See the dull throbbing of pain behind his eyes.

Trace all the lines of sadness on his face.

I trembled.

My bottom lip quivering.

“I want you to stop pretending to be somebody else,” I repeated, voice shaking, and I had to stop myself.

Calm myself.

A deep breath.

Filling my lungs, flushing my cheeks.

“I want you to stop craving the acceptance of everyone else,” I pleaded.

Unintentionally.

I choked – words swallowed by the sting in my throat and the acridity that flooded my mouth.

“Why?” he breathed.

Don’t you know?

I blinked.

Tears rolling down my cheeks.

“You didn’t need it for me to love you…” I whispered.

So gently.

So delicately.

Like glass on the verge of being shattered.

He sucked in a breath.

Corners of his lips lifting in a sad smile.

Eyes shiny and bright.

Unshed tears.

This was it.

This was goodbye.

“I could… I could come visit,” he said, softly.

Tenderly.

Gingerly.

And my heart swelled.

So much I feared my chest could barely contain it.

But I shook my head, sadly.

“No, please don't,” I pleaded.

But it came out wrong.

A little too forceful.

A little too harshly.

It wounded him.

“I—I can—can’t. It… it would cause me pain,” I stumbled, scrambling to find the words that would make sense to him.

His hand reached out – his finger gently brushing away another tear.

I gasped – a sob suddenly choked out of me.

And I closed my eyes.

Wanted to remember this.

Wanted it to be this way forever.

“This. Me. You. Me loving you. You… you not knowing what to do with it…” I whispered, words coming out in a jumble.

Breath short and sharp.

And when I finally opened my eyes, there they were.

His beautiful green eyes staring back at me.

“It… causes me pain,” I breathed.

His pressed his lips together.

Grim.

I wanted nothing more than to kiss away the shadow between his brows.

Take away his worries.

And when he opened his mouth, I shook my head.

“Don’t say words you don’t mean…” I said, lips tasting salt.

He cupped my cheek.

The warmth of his skin against mine.

And even after all this time, it was enough to make my heart stop.

Make it stop bleeding.

I wanted to say.

He nodded.

“I--…” he started to say, only to pause.

An unspoken question lingering in the air.

“Hmm?” I whispered, breath hanging onto his every word.

His eyes raw and vulnerable.

“Did I… did I make you happy?” he asked.

Softly.

Tenderly.

The indent of worry in his voice.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

My lips parted.

My heart shattering into a tiny little million pieces.

And the tears came.

Hard and fast.

Hot and scalding.

Even as they dripped down my chin.

I thought back to everything we had been through.

All the laughter.

All the teasing.

All the intimacy.

All the tears.

All the heartbreak.

All the moments I had found… myself.

He was nothing but blurred lines.

I turned around.

Shoulders shaking as I clamped my hand over my mouth.

Trying to stop the sobs from taking over.

Trying to stop my heart from hurting.

Goodbye, Loki.

“Yes.”

Goodbye.

And then I ran forward.

[frizz22]

Restoring What Was Lost

JuJuChick30 prompt: Madam Spellman, Lilith bringing Vinegar Tom back for Zelda. Read on ao3

Zelda sat in her new office at the academy, elbows on the desk, rubbing her temples. Though she was well suited to the position of high priestess, Zelda couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed. Where before select coven members and staff at the academy would have handled many of the everyday tasks that went into running the church and school, they were greatly depleted. She still couldn’t fathom what Faustus thought he’d accomplish by poisoning the coven, they’d have followed him anywhere... even off a proverbial cliff, it appeared.

Regardless of Faustus’ motives, Zelda was left short staffed in cleaning up his mess. Meaning most responsibilities fell to her and her alone. She hadn’t slept in a week, the pep up potions she kept nicking from Hilda, her black expressos, cigarettes and a staunch refusal to fail the only things keeping her going. 

But even those could only take her so far. And Zelda could feel the beginnings of a headache at the base of her skull; already knowing it’d grow into a monster if she didn’t address it now. And that meant eating a full meal, drinking something that wasn’t caffeinated and getting some rest.

Though she felt a twinge if guilt for taking time for herself when there was still so much to do, Zelda reasoned that perhaps she’d get a bit more done if she took a break. Pushing back from her desk and looking over to where Vinegar Tom was perched in his basket by the fireplace, Zelda ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. “What do you think, Vin, time to go home?” She asked, slowly standing and wincing at the stiffness in her joints; she’d been at her desk for almost the entire day.

Before she could go more than a few steps, the fire roared to life; Lilith’s calling card. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Zelda leaned against the front of her desk and tried not to look as worn as she felt as the new Queen of Hell emerged from the flames.

“What can I do for you, your highness?” She arched a brow, too tired to do more than pay the bare respects.

Inclining her head, Lilith walked over to where Zelda kept the whiskey and poured them each a glass. “I need to not be surrounded by demons seeking favor for ten minutes,” she exhaled loudly, slumping in a chair in front of Zelda and holding out one glass while she drank deeply from the other.

Not one to pass up alcohol, even if it wouldn’t help her headache, Zelda took the glass and half saluted the witch in front of her before drinking as well. “Being Queen not all it was cracked up to be?” She asked impertinently; she’d had a healthy fear for Lucifer, built up over centuries of tales and firsthand experience to his cruelty... but Lilith? Lilith was still half school marm in Zelda’s mind and an interfering one at that. Which meant she had much less of a problem talking to the woman and speaking her mind.

The comment had a bark of laughter escaping the brunette. “I could ask you the same.” Lilith gestured around the office, indicating to the piles of papers and books that covered nearly every surface. “You look exhausted, being high priestess taking its toll?” She inquired over the rim of her glass.

Seeing no reason to lie, Zelda shifted a bit until she was sitting on the desk instead of leaning against it. “Yes. Though if I had more witches, I don’t think it’d be an issue. We’re severely low in numbers, the ones that didn’t follow Faustus were poisoned. Despite Prudence’s efforts we were only able to save about three quarters of them. Some of the survivors fled, wanting to avoid the drama and the new knowledge that the Gates of Hell are at our front door scared more than it emboldened. I have my hands full, to say the least.”

“What if,” Lilith murmured, swirling the remaining liquid in her glass and not meeting Zelda’s eye. “What if I could get you some help?” She glanced up at Zelda who scoffed.

Peering into the fire where it was still going, Zelda shook her head. “If you can find it where I could not, then you truly are the Queen of Hell. I’ve checked and reached out everywhere; other witches and covens are keeping their distance, afraid to provide assistance. They are sure Lucifer will return and punish us; they don’t want to be included in that punishment for helping.”

Lilith hummed and set her drink down. “What do I get,” she asked, the corner of her mouth curling up, “when I find you some help?”

Rolling her eyes, Zelda brought her gaze back to Lilith. “I’ll invent some new holiday celebrating you.” She remarked, sarcasm dripping from her lips.

Unimpressed, Lilith stood and walked over to the fire and placed a gentle hand on Vinegar Tom’s back and whispered a spell. Her familiar twitched, then blinked, then stepped partially out of his basket, stretching, his tongue curling as a soft whine left him.

“Vin?” She whispered, tumbler still half full of whiskey slipping from her fingers and landing with a dull thud on the carpet, spilling its contents as it rocked to a stop. He finished stretching and bounded over to her, his entire body wriggling in excitement. “Oh, oh, Vin!” Zelda dropped to her knees to hug the restored dog now eagerly trying to lick her face. “Beelzebub, I’ve missed you so much. Oh, there is so much to tell you, oh Vin.” Tears were forming in her eyes as she clutched at her familiar who she’d thought was lost to her forever. “Oh my dear Vin,” she whispered, burying her face into his fur to hide the tears in her eyes, not wanting to cry (even happy tears) in front of the Queen of Hell.

Finally bringing her gaze up to Lilith, Zelda couldn’t help but beam. Standing, Zelda shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t, you really, I, thank you.” She kissed Lilith briefly on the lips in her excitement and gratitude, not even thinking of the action until Lilith’s hand was suddenly on her elbow, stopping her as she’d bent down to lavish Vinegar Tom with more attention.

“While this may not be the help you asked for,” Lilith breathed, drawing Zelda back towards her. “Returning your familiar to you, to ensure you are caring for yourself...” she arched a knowing brow and her other hand came up to tuck some hair behind Zelda’s ear. “That’s the help you need. I cannot lose you; especially not to yourself if you continue pushing your body this far.” She murmured, hand sliding from next to Zelda’s ear to the back of her neck, bringing Zelda even closer. “Besides, I had to reward my most devout witch,” Lilith leaned in and Zelda’s breath hitched a bit at her words and proximity. “The one who helped put me on the throne, who is helping build up my regime.” She stepped a bit closer, their noses brushing each other as her nails scratched softly and deliciously against Zelda’s neck and scalp. The contact had her heart pounding and electricity crackling up her spine. “It was the least—” Lilith closed the distance between them, touching her lips to Zelda’s, “I—" another short, soft kiss, that left Zelda wanting more, “could—" another kiss, this one longer, “do.” She murmured, sealing her mouth over Zelda’s completely, hungry.

And Zelda returned the kiss eagerly, her hands snaking around the brunette to pull her closer and angling her head to deepen the kiss, their tongues dancing and hands clutching at one another. When they finally broke, it was only because Vinegar Tom was butting his head against their legs, whining.

Still in Lilith’s embrace, Zelda laughed as she looked down at her familiar. “Yes, I’m sorry, I should have realized you’d be hungry.” Lilith took advantage of her distraction and planted several long, slow kisses along her neck, making Zelda stutter. “Dec—, decades spent frozen will do that, won’t it?” She managed, head tilting on its own accord to give Lilith better access. The brunette hummed her approval and pressed her body harder against Zelda’s making her gasp. “Perhaps we could continue this at the house? I could feed Vin and we, we could....” She petered off as Lilith found her favorite spot just under her jaw.

Halting her ministrations, Lilith pulled back and arched a brow. “We could.” She agreed, giving Zelda a wolfish grin but then stepped away completely. “But we won’t. You need to rest.”

Zelda swallowed and smoothed her dress down. “Of course, your highness. Excuse my assumption.” She turned away to hide the disappointment and embarrassment sweeping through her.

A pair of hands bracketed Zelda’s hips and tugged her back, so that they were slotted against Lilith’s. “Don’t misunderstand me, Zelda.” She purred, tipping her chin up to rest it on Zelda’s shoulder. “I want this,” her hands squeezed Zelda’s hips deliciously before they roamed her curves and she nuzzled Zelda’s neck. “And had I known bringing your familiar back was all I needed to do for a kiss,” she sighed dramatically and dropped her hands. “But as much as I’d like to…” and Zelda turned to face her again, face now carefully neutral until she saw the raw lust in Lilith’s eyes. “As much as I’d like to,” Lilith repeated, as though convincing herself as well as Zelda that they shouldn’t continue. “You need to care for yourself first... only then,” she captured Zelda’s lips in a slow, sensual kiss as she ground their hips together. “Then I will take care of your… remaining needs.”

With that Lilith stepped away once more, winked and disappeared into the flames and back to Hell.

At a loss, Zelda stood there, staring into the flames with a hand on her lips and the other in her stomach where heat was pooling. Not entirely sure what had just happened but pleased about it nonetheless. Vinegar Tom barked at her and sat at her feet, head cocked expectantly.

Regaining herself, Zelda chuckled and knelt to pet his ears. “I don’t know, Vin. That was the first time. I, I don’t know what else to tell you except that I’m looking forward to exploring whatever it might be.” With one last look at the fire, a smile coming unbidden to her lips, Zelda teleported the two of them home.

[takenbyemrys]

Summary:  Harley finds Spider-Man on a roof, watching the remains of a parade for him and the Avengers. He refuses to let Peter get away and decides to make the first move. Well, maybe more than a single move.

Day 1: Identity Porn/ Parade

Peter gazed down at the remnants of the days parade. The avengers had, once again, saved the world from certain doom, and the city had decided to throw a massive festival. It had started with a parade winding through the streets of New York, and it ended with a massive carnival in Central Park.

Peter was sitting on the ledge of a roof watching the crowds funnel into the festival. It was dusk and the air was beginning to nip at his skin, even under his super suit.

“Karen, activate the ‘Cold never bothered me anyway’ protocol.” He murmured to his AI.

“Making sure you ‘Let it go’ Peter.” Karen’s voice sounded softly in his ear. Instantly the heaters in his suit kicked on, helping his body thermoregulate. The sound of creaking metal drew his attention. He spun his head around, ready to jump into action, when he saw the top of a head climbing the opposing fire escape.

“You do know this entire festival is like for you right?” Harley asked. Peter froze. They had interacted pretty minimally when he was Spider-Man, but when they did, it was always much flirtier, and dirtier, than any interaction the had when he was just Peter.

“Well, yeah, but who could go to the festival when you’re all the way up here?” Peter smirked under the mask. A light blush splattered Harley’s cheeks. The country boy shook his head and moved closer to the superhero. He dropped down onto the ledge to sit next to him. They sat in a comfortable silence as they watched the crowd.

“You almost died today.” Harley murmured. If it hadn’t been for his super hearing, he probably would have missed it. “And all I could think about was that I wouldn't have the chance to do this.” Without taking even a second to hesitate, Harley deftly flicked his thumbs under the edges of Peter’s mask. Peter knew he could stop him, but he was transfixed by the feeling of Harley’s fingers on his skin. Harley flipped it up without another word, only revealing Peter’s parted lips. Harley leaned forward and softly pressed his lips against Peter’s.

Peter gasped at the feeling. His lips were alight with fire. Harley reached around and pulled the superhero closer to him. They kissed softly for a minute, just barely touching, reveling in the feeling. Peter leaned into the kiss and ran his tongue along Harley’s bottom lip. He was rewarded with a deep, needy groan.

Without a second thought, Peter was pulling Harley onto his lap. The southern boy gasped, but didn’t pull again. Instead, he started attacking Peter’s mouth. Nipping and licking his way into Peter’s mouth. Peter moaned as Harley fully settled onto his lap, stradling the superhero.

“Can’t believe i waited so long to do this.” Harley groaned. Peter had ducked his head and was pillaging his way up and down Harley’s neck. Harley moaned and Peter’s tongue flicked over his collar bone. His hips ground down on Peter’s already hardening length. The superhero bucked lightly, drawing another moan from Harley. Harley’s fingers scrabbled at the suit, trying in vain to find purchase in skin.

“I mean seriously. How the hell did I not work up the courage to do this sooner? We could have been fucking for months.” Harley breathed. Peter paused his work, thinking about the fact that Harley was thinking about Spider-man. He wouldn’t be doing this with Peter. “Oh my god, you can’t stop now. C’mon Pete, we barely got started.” Peter snapped his head up, meeting Harley’s cocky gaze.

“I- you.” Peter croaked. Harley rolled his eyes.

“Yes, you big dumb webhead. I’ve been trying to get your attention for months. Figured it was me that was gonna have to make the move, especially with that stupid stunt you pulled today. There wasn’t anyway I was going to let you leave this world without at least kissing you once.” Peter swore his heart stopped. He swooped back down and captured Harley’s lips. His tongue slipped into Harley’s mouth and he mapped out the planes of the boys mouth with ease, reveling in the fact that Harley wanted him. He pulled away with a grin.

“I’m not going to leave this world without doing a hell of a lot more.” Peter growled. He bucked his hips again and reveled in the sound that Harley made.

“Thank god, sweetheat. I didn’t think you were ever going to get with the program.” Harley

reached up and ripped the rest of the mask off Peter’s head. “There’s my Peter.” Hearing those words from Harley made Peter snap. He wrapped his arms around Harley and stood, holding him easily. Harley gasped at the sudden movement. He scrambled to grip Peter’s shoulder, but it was already too late. Peter had already moved toward the center of the roof and was laying Harley down gently.

Peter took a moment to stare the the boy. His blond hair was fanned around him, making it look like a halo. His skin was flushed a delicate pink and his eyes were filled with lust. Peter dove back in with fervor, pillaging his sinful mouth. Harley reciprocated with just as much enthusiasm. He reached down and tried to grasp Peter’s suit again. He broke the kiss with a growl.

“As hot as it would be, getting fucked by a superhero, I need this suit off, like five minutes ago.” Peter smirked.

“So bossy,” Peter said. He leaned up and tapped the spider on his chest. Harley watched in awe as the suit folded in on itself, revealing an incredibly muscular, and mostly naked Peter Parker. Harley grinned at the sight of his straining briefs. He had no idea how he hadn’t seen it in the skin tight suit. Peter gripped the front of Harley’s shirt and pulled so Harley was sitting up. Peter yanked the shirt over his head and deposited it next to them. “If you get to dictate my clothes, I get to dictate yours.” Harley grinned and leaned back down. He watched as Peter deftly popped the button on his jeans. Harley lifted his hips as Peter shimmied his jeans down his hips. Before he could get to far, Harley grabbed his hand. Peter looked at him patiently. Harley reached into his back pocket and took out a condom and a packet of lube before he gestured for Peter to continue. The spider rolled his eyes with a smile.

“What? I was hopeful.” Harley smirked.

“You’re a pain in my ass.” Peter said. He climbed back up Harley, running his hands up the boys sides.

“Hopefully you’re about to be a pain in mine.” Peter grinned into Harley’s collarbone.

They scrabbled at each others clothes until they were both naked and gasping. Harley’s eyes roamed Peter’s body appreciatively, moving from his perfectly toned abs down to his weeping member. Peter was gazing at him with fire in his eyes. He looked ready to absolutely devour Harley, and the southern boy was ready for it. Peter made the first move. He grabbed Harley’s hips and pulled them together, relishing the moan that Harley let out.

Harley reached up and licked his way into Peter’s mouth as he rolled their hips together. Peter reached down and snatched the packet of lube from the ground. He tore it open and coated his fingers. Harley groaned as Peter grabbed his ass with his non lubed hand and began gently massaging it..

“Peter, this is not a teasing time. This is a fucking time.” Harley groaned. Peter smirked but didn’t stop massaging. Harley groaned and rolled his hips. Peter snorted, but slowly slid a finger into Harley. The boy groaned and rolled his hips again. Peter drug his finger in and out, slowly pressing into Harley’s walls, slowly stretching him. In no time he added a second finger. Then a third. Harley was keening at this point, grinding down on Peter’s fingers.

Peter grinned down at Harley. He reached as far as he could, trying to find the bundle of nerves that he knew would get Harley falling apart. He crooked his finger and preened as Harley moaned. It was positively filthy.

“Sweetheart, please for the love of christ.” Harley’s voice was a wreck. Peter grinned at the thought that he was completely wrecking the boy.

“All you had to do was ask.” Peter leaned down and licked and nibbled Harley’s hip. He bucked and moaned at the sensation. Peter continued down and ran his tongue up the underside of Harley’s shaft.

“Pete, fuck.” Harley groaned. Peter licked his way back up Harley’s body, still dragging his fingers in and out of him. He pulled his fingers all the way out and scrambled to grab the condom. He fumbled so hard that Harley reached down and rolled the condom on for him. He groaned and the feeling up Harley’s fingers on his shaft and bracketed his arms around Harley. Harley ground down, catching Peter’s tip on his rim, causing both boys to moan. Peter lined up and slowly began pressing into Harley.

“Fuck, fuck fuck. Peter.” Harley chanted. Peter’s arms were shaking with the sensation. Inch by inch Peter pressed in, until he was fully seated in Harley. He paused, breathing in Harley’s sent. Motor oil and flowers. It was always an odd scent that had followed Harley since they first met. Peter took a deep breath, reveling in the feel of Harley wrapped around him. His incredibly tight heat was drowning Peter. He waited until Harley experimentally rolled his hips.

“Fuck!” Peter cried. Harley smirked and rolled his hips again.

“Sweetheart, this is usually the part where you move.” He murmured in Peter’s ear. Peter relaxed into his body. He moved one hand down to grip Harley’s hip and gently pulled out of Harley. He rolled his hips, thrusting back in. Harley’s head fell back, a groan ripping out of him.

Peter set a frustratingly slow pace. Easing his was all the way out and then slowly sliding back in. Harley was fighting the urge to snap his hips up to meet Peter’s. He was basking in the feeling of Peter filling him like this, and no matter how much he wanted the boy to fuck him into obvilion, he never wanted this to end.

Peter watched as Harley fell apart underneath him. He knew he was teasing Harley. He knew that this slow pace was absolutely killing him, but he loved the way that Harley was coming apart. He pulled out slowly again, before snapping his hips back in. Harley cried out at the sudden change in pace, scrabbling at Peter’s back. Peter groaned as Harley’s nails dug into his skin, spurring him into a brutal pace.

Harley cried out as Peter thrust into him. He canted his hip up and was rewarded with Peter brushing against his prostate. Peter groaned slammed into him again.

“Peter, fuck sweetheart, I’m gonna,” Harley was cut off as another moan ripped out of him. Peter reached down and gripped Harley’s member. He matched the speed on his hand to the speed of his hips. He was slamming into Harley at this point. Moans were pouring out of both of them as they came closer to their climax. Harley felt his rip through him. The constant massaging of his prostate mixed with Peter’s hand was too much. He cried out, his entire body spasming.

“Harley!” Peter cried. Harley’s walls were contracting around Peter’s shaft, pushing him over the edge. They both rode through their orgasm before collapsing. Sweat was pouring off both of them. Peter lazily licked the sweat from Harley’s collarbone, causing him to shiver.

“Well that was phenomenal sweetheart.” Harley’s voice was deep and raspy. Peter grinned into his neck. “Maybe you’ll let me buy you dinner now?” Peter snorted and pulled out of him. Harley gasped at the loss of Peter.

“I’ll have to think about that.” Peter sat up and stretched. He pulled the condom off and tied it expertly. His eyes roamed Harley’s body with glee.

“I bet you will. Fuck, can we just stay on this roof all night?” Harley groaned. “I actually think you fucked away my ability to walk.” Peter grabbed Harley’s hand and pulled him into a sitting position.

“I would say yes, but i was just promised dinner. Then after that, we each have a king size bed at the tower just waiting to be ruined.” Peter said. Harley smirked.

“Alright sweetheart. Let me get my clothes.” Harley dressed quickly. Peter grabbed his spider emblem and tapped it on his chest. Harley grinned as the suit appeared. “You’ve got five minutes to change and meet me at that festival.” Peter grabbed Harley’s hip and pulled him to him. Peter captured Harley’s lips, keeping the kiss soft and delicate.

“I think I can do that.” Peter pulled the mask on his face and fell off the roof.

“Showoff!” Harley called. He wiggled his hips and couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He had a date to get to.

[wolfpawn]

Life Is a Game Of Risks, Chapter 8

Chapter Summary -  Tom is at home with his family and Alexianna and her daughter are discussed, but Tom's comments hit very close to home for one Hiddleston.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Request if you wish to be tagged

Tags: @damalseer

Tom stared at his niece absentmindedly. She was playing with one of her toys when he noted the little pink attired dog on her bag which was the same as the one he had seen in Alexianna's home. 'Hey.' He turned to see his sister looking at him. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes, why?'

'Because you are staring at Sophie, weirdly.'

'The dog bag.'

Sarah looked at her daughter's bag, 'What about it?'

'Is that popular these days?'

'Not that I know why you are asking, but yes, Paw Patrol is incredibly popular, in the two to five-year bracket.'

'She's six.'

'Yes, but that bag has fluffy ears and was a gift from Yakov's sister, so she loves it.' Sarah explained. 'Why are you asking about the Paw Patrol.'

'I met with Alexianna again.'

'Okay, this is the most scattered conversation ever, but you're all in a tizzy, so I'll bite and see if I can make heads or tails of this. Right, Paw Patrol and Lexi, what about her?'

'I kissed her.'

Sarah frowned, then nodded. 'I'm still with you.' Tom gave an anxious look. 'She did not want said kiss?'

'No, she was okay with it.'

'Then I am afraid you lost me again.'

'She has a daughter.'

Sarah's brows furrowed more. 'Okay?' she elongated the word as she spoke.

'She never mentioned that before.'

'Why would that matter?' Tom gave her a look. 'No, seriously, why would that matter? You are thirty-six Tom, you're getting to the age where anyone worth having has been with other people before and through something or another, has become single, but they will all have something, a divorce or kids usually, or both; anyone who doesn't is usually someone to worry about.'

'Hey!'

'Tom, you are thirty-six with no major previous partners, you are a walking warning, it screams there is something wrong with you that no one has been interested.' Tom gave her a hurt look. 'Where is the father? How involved is he?'

'I don't know, she never told me about the child, much less its father.'

'Tom, you told me already she's a girl, don't refer to her as an "it".' Sarah warned.

'I can only assume she is her ex-husband's daughter.'

'Alexianna was married?'

'A few years ago, yes, she is trying to get divorced for a while now but he's not around.'

'Those are difficult ones. So he has nothing to do with his daughter?'

'If she is his, no.'

'So, no awkward ex trying to pit her against you, that's never a bad thing. How old is she?'

'Lexi?'

'Her daughter, you idiot. I know how old Lexi is.'

'She is starting school next month.'

'So four then.' Sarah looked at her own daughter. 'I loved when Sophie was four, they are so cute.' she smiled in nostalgia for a moment.

'What's going on in here then?' Diana walked in with Emma in tow.

'Tom was just telling me that he was talking to Alexianna Hughes and that he may or may not have kissed her.'

Emma looked at her brother with a mix of shock and confusion, 'Wow, you really didn't waste time there.'

'I always liked that girl.' Diana smiled fondly.

'Isn't that the girl you were looking for an address for before?' Jack asked his wife.

'Yeah, Tom found her in London. So, other than making up for ten plus years of lusting after her, what are we discussing?' Emma looked between her siblings.

'Apparently, she has a daughter.' Sarah's statement was met with silence.

'Okay?' Emma looked around after a moment to try and understand the peculiar atmosphere in the room, 'I don't get it. I mean, I didn't realise she had one, but she is my age so I suppose it makes sense why she is only in school now if she dropped out before to have a kid. I can see her being a good mum.'

'It won't be from Marie she got it.' Diana pursed her lips after her comment, thinking of their old neighbour, who was nothing near what her children needed in a mother. Diana looked at her son, who seemed to have an odd expression on his face. 'Is there something wrong?'

'She has a child.'

'So?' Emma shrugged. 'Loads of people do these days.'

Diana eyed her son's expression. 'If you like her, what does it matter if she has a child?'

'You're joking, right? It complicated everything. Who wants to deal with that mess?'

The atmosphere in the room went from confused to Baltic cold immediately. Emma and Sarah stared open-mouthed while Diana pursed her lips again before nodding her head. 'Sophie sweetheart, go into the kitchen and have a bun.' Excited, the child jumped to her feet and left the room, not waiting to allow her mother to argue with her grandmother about getting a treat before dinner. When she left the room, Sarah closed the door. 'A mess? If having one child makes Alexianna a mess, what did me having three make me?' Diana challenged. Tom's breathing became shallow as the realisation of the effects of his words impacted on him, his mother's heartbroken expression adding to it. 'I went two years after your father and I separated worrying that no one would want to love me again because I had two teenagers and a young daughter. I felt as though I was going to never be in a relationship again where I would be happy, because of people judging me for not only my marriage collapsing but the fact I had three children as well.'

'Mum...' Tom's voice was tight. 'You never hid us.'

'Did Alexianna actively hide her daughter, or was she waiting until a good time to mention her? The fear that your children will become attached to a partner only for them to leave is terrifying, Thomas. It took me three months to even gently start bringing Paul into this family.'

'Not every mom wants to be defined as just being a mom, Tom.' He turned to look at Sarah. 'I hate it, it's one of the first things people label me. If Lexi is trying to get jobs, she's not going to mention a daughter unless asked, that's a huge no to a lot of people, and a single mom even more so. They are associated with taking time off and being flaky, who the hell wants that assumption of them in an interview. The same with meeting someone, one mention of her daughter and look at you, you ran for the hills, you actually sound disgusted. She is thirty-one years old, what, was she supposed to stay like a nun just in the off-chance she might one day meet you again? She was fucking married. This isn't some stupid mistake she made when she was fifteen.' Sarah's rage grew with each sentence. Beside her, though silent, it was clear Emma was seething also. 'You know what, she is hardworking and doing the best for her daughter, she is trying to make their lives better, she doesn't need some shallow shithead in her life. She is better off this way, who the hell needs someone like you in their lives if all you are going to do is get judgemental? At least she found someone to actually have a marriage and child with, what have you found, one night flings and a publicity relationship.' Sarah stormed out of the room after that.

As much as her words deeply stung, Tom did not reveal what Alexianna told him about her marriage, he felt he had hurt her enough in one week, revealing her information like that was not fair at all. Emma looked at him judgmentally, clearly agreeing with Sarah. 'If you are talking to Lexi, she...don't talk about her marriage.' was all he said, Emma frowned. 'Just don't, please.' Emma nodded and left the room also. Leaving him to face the person he dreaded most. Turning, he swallowed back tears as he realised his words had truly hurt his mother. 'Mum, I am so sorry, I never realised...'

'No, you didn't.' She stated sadly. 'I have no idea what Alexianna told you about her marriage, but clearly, it was not good.' Tom shook his head. 'And to say she kept that little girl under wraps means does not want her to be judged for it. You have no idea what is going on in her life. You said you liked her, you apparently showed her you like her, then you run when she mentioned her daughter. You have no idea what it feels like Tom, when someone's face changes after they hear about a child, to see them suddenly not want anything to do you with. The sense of rejection...' she swallowed, her voice breaking. 'It hurt more than the divorce, that I can tell you from personal experience.' with that, she too left Tom in the room alone with his thoughts.

[skyecrandall]

CCAs 2018 Results

We have finally reached the end of 2018′s edition of the CCAs after weeks of voting for both the nomination and the final phase. Before I announce the results, I would like to thank all 202 of you who voted for the final phase once again. In brackets you will find the number of votes the following received.

also the detailed results can be found here. But if you want to read the responses with a dramatic flair.... here you go:

Category 1: Best Male LI

3rd: Tom Sato (46)

2nd: Ernest Sinclaire (50)

Winner: Damien Nazario (55)

Winner’s Comments:

"Wow, this is a lot to process. I dedicate this award to my mother, my sisters and most of all Kai !" smiled Damien. "Hey! What about me!" Yelled Nadia from the crowd. "Oh and yeah, you too Nadia!" added the private investigator.

Category 2: Best Female LI

3rd: Skye Crandall (31)

2nd: Kamilah Sayeed (43)

Winner: Annabelle Parsons (45)

Winner’s Comments:

"My my, thank you my dear supporters. This award is for all of the ladies who had to hide their true nature due to this pungent patriarchy. Glory to womenfolk!" said Annabelle. "Glory To womenfolk" roared back the crowd.

Category 3: Best Supporting Character (female)

3rd: Nadia Park (39)

2nd: Michelle Nguyen (44)

Winner: Olivia Nevrakis (73)

Winner’s Comments:

“Hmm, the trophy is as tacky as always. But I suppose I could have it melted and reshaped into something more worthwhile,” complained Olivia.

Category 4: Best Supporting Character (male)

3rd: Zack Zilberg (46)

2nd: Diego Ortiz Soto (50)

Winner: Elliot Vance (59)

Winner’s Comments:

"It was obvious that I would win after I overshadowed everyone with my performance. I'd like to see you try and win an award, Harper” snickered Elliot mischievously.

Category 5: Best MC

3rd: Perfect Match MC (39)

2nd: Desire & Decorum MC (51)

Winner: It Lives Beneath MC (67)

Winner’s Comments:

“Oh really Elliot? See, I got one too. Anyway thank you my friends who saved me from getting my fingers chopped off and staying brave enough to not run when things were getting tough. You were the ones who helped me keep my cool and I guess you too, you gremlin of little brother,” smiled Harper.

Category 6: Best Antagonist

3rd: Duke Richards (44)

Winner-Tied: Cecile Contreras and Jeff Duffy (49)

Winner’s Comments:

"What the hell? " yelled both winners "I'm offended that I got tied with that two faced troll. I plotted world domination,all he did was murder a family," said Cecile. "I'm equally offended. I actually killed bad people here. I should have won," argued Duffy  "You should have died on that flaming ship," hissed Cecile. "And I should probably kill you right now," threatened Duffy as he tried to hit Cecile on the head with the trophy. The latter ducked and was able to avoid the hit. Before the fight escalated, Bastien and Mara quickly got on stage. They gave Cecile another trophy and directed each back to their seat.

Category 7: Most Funny Character:

3rd: Lily Spencer (18)

2nd: Craig Hsiao (64)

Winner: Maxwell Beaumont (88)

Winner’s Comments:

"Wow I won the award again this year? Awesome! See Bertrand! That last time was not just a fluke! I'm actually funny!" smiled Maxwell.

Category 8: Most Humane Character:

3rd: Damien Nazario (46)

2nd: Elliot Vance (48)

Winner: Hayden Young (64)

Winner’s Comments:

"I was really shocked to learn that I was even nominated. So imagine how shocked I am right now since a robot won over humans. Thank you all for accepting me,"smiled Hayden as a single tear rolled out of their left eye.

Category 9: Best Non-MC Romance

3rd: Zahra X Craig (54)

2nd: Elliot X Robbie (56)

Winner: Mr.Chambers X Mr.Konevi (78)

Winner’s Comments:

"Well I suppose our secret is out now. No point in hiding it anymore," said Mr.Chambers, probably embarrassed by the crowd spanning in front if hum. "Like how Miss.Parsons would say... Glory to Gay folk!" Said Mr.Konevi before embracing his lover and kissing him.

Category 10: Best Non-Romantic Relationship

3rd: Kamilah / Adrian (43)

2nd: Andy / Tom (44)

Winner: Elliot / ILB MC  (45)

Winner’s Comments:

"Thank you all for this other victory. If you knew how hard it was to keep up our dynamic when Harper was doing such a terrible job," taunted Elliot. "Excuse my little brother. What he actually meant is that due to his inexperience I had to carry the dynamic on my shoulders," teased back Elliot. However before the two were going to begin their banter again, they were directed to their seats by the bodyguards.

Category 11: Best Atmosphere

3rd: Veil Of Secrets (35)

2nd: Desire & Decorum (50)

Winner: It Lives Beneath (65)

Category 12: Best Plot Twist

3rd: Nathan being a snake (38)

2nd: Damien being replaced by Dames (79)

Winner: Evil Duffy (85)

Category 13: Best Book

3rd: Perfect Match (30)

2nd: Desire & Decorum (51)

Winner: It Lives Beneath (70)

This is it. What are your thoughts about the winners and losers? Do comment and reblog.

Also... want to witness more of this year’s CCAs, want to know everything behind the scenes? Well if you do, join Pax and Eos as they go and interview some of our fellow winners in a special fanfiction that I made. Click here to be redirected to the fanfiction.

anyway I would urge you to reblog this so that those who voted may know that the results are available. Thank you and see ya all for a glorious 2019 on my blog (although there won’t be much book for me to stan after ILB is over)

[destinyc1020]

I do think Tom changes his look a bit more than some of the other known male actors like Paul or Timmy. They do ofc change but Tom does is more often I think. But I agree, I never understand this fandom obsessiveness with his appearance. Like you are following an actor, what do you expect and the hell you’re complaining for?! Maybe go follow someone else if it bother you this much lol (I’m mainly talking about those that threw tantrums during tcr filming).

You think Tom changes his look more than other actors? 🤔 Cuz most of the time when Tom has changed his look, it's usually in prep for a role. He buzz cut his hair for Cherry, he cut his hair to play Todd Hewitt in CW, he grew his hair long to film the lengthy series TCR, he bulked up for the Spiderman Franchise and Uncharted, he lost weight for Cherry, he tried to grow some facial hair for the Current War lol, he grew his hair a bit to play in TDATT, etc. That's why I'm always baffled when people say that Tom's career isn't "versatile" lol, when he's probably one of most diverse and versatile actors in his age bracket today! He's done so many DIFFERENT roles that have caused him to look so different. We all knew he wasn't gonna keep the long Danny hair for TCR lol 😅🤣 LBR... Most of us weren't shocked at all when he cut his hair as soon as filming wrapped lol. Timmy usually keeps his hair floppy long, but I also don't think he's done any films where he's played someone in war and had to buzz cut his hair. Has he?? 🤔 And he's never played a superhero, or an "action" star in a popcorn flick, so he hasn't really had to "bulk up" for his roles. Although, I will say that I think he DID put on a little bit of muscle for "Dune: Part 2", cuz he's looking bigger than he used to look in the past lol 😅

Either way, I think both he and Paul have varying looks sometimes over the years.

Paul Mescal's looks don't fluctuate as much (true lol), but he has changed his looks slightly to play various characters as well...

I just think you think that Tom changes his looks often because he's usually doing it based on the roles that he plays. If his filmography wasn't as diverse and he weren't playing such diverse characters, I don't think you would see such a strong variation in his look either.

[buckv-barnes]

Ace Comic Con Panel - Sebastian’s Q&A

full video - part one | two | three

note: i’ve put brackets around some of the fan questions that you might have heard about or you don’t want to read :)

Kevin Smith: -Give it up for Bucky Barnes himself - Sebastian Stan.

Sebastian Stan: What an intro, thank you so much. Thank you.

KS: Don’t be weird, sit right here man.

SS: This couch-

KS: Come on closer, it’s not like we’re in a movie theater like, you sit over there. How are you sir?

SS: No, i’m good. I’m just seeing this couch is big for three. But of, course there’s only one. You know, I’m the only one here, of course, because Tom Holland is two hours behind. “Two hours behind.” And he’s not gonna be here with me. So, I wonder why that is?

KS: He doesn’t like sharing the stage with you?

SS: No, no he doesn't. I actually heard a rumour from Joe that said, you know, he was like Holland doesn't want to have any scenes with you and Mackie. And I was like c'mon that's a joke. Like you know, the whole things a joke. There might be some truth to it, but I don't know.

KS: It was after that first experience in Civil War like, 'I’m done with these guys?'

SS: Yeah, maybe. That might have been it, or just any other times we walked into each other sort of, you know like, on the lot, or on the set or whatever. He doesn't, you know, he just seems to be very after his own needs.

KS: He's not looking after Bucky's needs is what you’re saying?

SS: No, he's looking at the Downey camp like, 'When am I going to have that camp?' That's kind of what he's like. Anyway.

KS: We're gonna tell him when he comes out here and see if he cries.

SS: Please do.

KS: What, er, take us back to the beginning, when you first find out you're going to be in 'Captain America: The First Avenger'. Did they tell you, this character, could keep going? Was there plans at that point?

SS: Yeah, I mean they, you know, they did talk about that, and-, but it was a very strange kinda conversation, because there was nothing definitive about it, just sort of like- 'Look we'd like to see this go that way one day, if we're lucky enough and the movies doing(?) well.' And I was like, 'Great, that sounds great. Let’s do it.' But, yeah, I didn't necessary think that was going to happen. I just, it was good they told me because I, tried to think about the future when we were shooting that first movie and just hopefully, lay in stuff that may, be able to track later in the movies and the character.

KS: So, when you were shooting, ‘The First Avenger’, and ‘Bucky, dies’, for all intensive(?) purposes, there is no guarantee you can come back, you’ll be like, ‘this may be my death scene’.

SS: Well, you know I had a little guarantee, I’ve said this before. The first time I fell off the train, I did only have the one arm. I had a green sleeve, meaning that they were going to do something with it. And I was like this is good, that means we could probably, maybe, that’s where it’s gonna go. And then we ended up re-shooting that scene without the green sleeve, and I was like, ‘Oh’. Maybe, I am dead. Which is kind of- am now?

KS: Apparently, I’m not Bucky as much as I Sucky(?) and they cut me out of the movie. So when do you find out though, like hey man, next movie your character’s right in the title with the main character?

SS: Well, I pretty sure, the way I found out about that title was, a friend of mine called me from Comic Con and said, ‘Dude, you’re in the movie.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, really?’ and they were like, ‘Yeah! Because the title is your characters’ in the title.’ (note: that is how he said it!) And that’s how I found out.

KS: What was it like as an actor, I’m sure you were never ‘Man, I wanna be in blockbusters’, but eventually it happened. What was it like, when somebody’s like you’re going from playing a very sporting character in the first movie to, it’s going to be your movie, your co-sharing that movie, the second time around?

SS: It’s probably a lot of pressure when but not, you feel a little scared, I certainly was. I don’t- You rise up to the challenge, I mean, it’s good to be scared. Right? It’s good thing and there was a real opportunity there for me and, in a sense of like taking the character in that direction. I welcomed it. But again, I never- I’m used to it now, I never know where they’re going to take that situation. I didn’t even know what happened in the last movie (Infinity War) until we were shooting it.

KS: I spoke to Elizabeth (Olsen) and Paul Bettany this morning, and we were talking about the ending in Infinity War, and they were like, the Russo’s pulled them into a van and just before they shot the scene they were like, this is the ending of the movie. That’s how they found out about it. Did you get the van treatment as well?

SS: I know the van they’re talking about. I said, I’m not going in that van.

KS: You were raised right, you had smart parents.

SS: I was like, I wanna be around people when they tell me this. But yeah, this is when you disappear. I was like, ‘what does this mean? Really?’ or, I don’t know, it was right on the day. It’s kind of amazing, the Russo’s, if you think about it you have- If you think about it my character makes sense to be in the dark, in a way, he sort of is in the dark. Just the way they were able to put that movie together is fascinating. It was kind of exciting for all of us because when we were sitting there at the premiere, we were seeing it for the first time.

KS: Something as spiralling as that, I imagine, it’s hard to keep track of a movie, you’re almost in every scene, something like Infinity War you’re like ‘Wait, we’re in Wakanda. What’s going on in space? Don’t worry about it.’

SS: Yeah, which is what the character sort of got as a message anyway. It was sort of like, you’re needed again, so if you wanna gain anybody’s trust, you better go with the flow.

KS: The movies like this in terms of other performances an actor gets to do, a lot of it is physical, there’s a lot of action and what not. How long in advance, I’ve always wondered, everyone in these movies is in impeccably in shape. Sooner or later they’ll be like, ‘Take you shirt off!’ and we’ll see dudes with their shirts of which I know makes me feel bad. (Crowd screaming) He’s not going to take his shirt of.

SS: They’re not asking Anthony Mackie to take his shirt off. He’s up on those wires anyway.

KS: How long before the movie begins do you have to start getting in shape? Getting physical? Or is that normal a part of your regime anyway? Or do you have to double it up in a marvel movie?

SS: No, I mean it becomes an all-around routine because when you’re not working that’s kind of what you’re doing for your sanity. Depends, you start out with a goal and then when you start shooting, there’s no way you make it to the gym at like 4 in the morning. You still try but you shoot all day, your sweating a lot and losing a lot of weight. So, by the end of the movie everybody is at least 10 pounds less when they started.

KS: Is that right? Making one of these Marvel movies is the good way to lose weight?

SS: It kind of is. Here’s the thing, if your shooting in Atlanta, it’s really hot down there and then you’re strapped in these really tight outfits and your moving constantly, running around. Your body is like a furnace burning, burning, burning.  We all go through some stress your making a movie.

KS: Bro, look at me. I never lose weight.  On movies it’s the opposite, I gain 10-15 pounds like, this looks good. It’s free? I’ll take it.

SS: I’ve definitely done the- Because you’re waiting around too, so that’s the other thing. You’re always waiting around. I’ve definitely done that part, I know what you’re saying. Fortunately with these, it’s the moving around, and you start having a lot of- your ego is pretty high and you’re like, I’m gonna do the stunts, I’m going to do as much as I can. But then when you’re doing it on the eighteenth take, your body is kind of wrecked by that point.

KS: So you, ‘Bring in that stunt person, please.’

SS: They might bring them in a lot earlier than that but they’re also the best of guys. I mean those guys really make those action sequences, Sam Hargrave and James Young were just, all the way back to the ‘Winter Soldier’. In a way they reinvented the Captain America fighting style.

KS: That second one is badass, it sorts of, it’s the boat at the beginning and just takes everybody out (?). There has been 3 Captain America movies, and you’ve been in each one of them. You got to have a favourite, which one? Is it ‘The Winter Soldier’?

SS: Yeah, I really liked that one, that one has-

KS: It’s got a lot of Sebastian in it, so yeah

SS: The Winter Solider? No! I mean the Civil War does. The Winter Soldier was cryptic and was like strange. The whole process for that was a fun for me, I’m saying this and they’ll be like ‘perfect! Lets never write a line for him again.’ I didn’t have a lot of lines for that movie. It was all kind of like, trying to tell a story physically and it was interesting in a way, I guess.

KS: I haven’t thought about it, you have way more dialogue in Civil War than you do in The Winter Soldier.

SS: Yeah.

KS: The Winter Soldier was like ‘Who the hell is Bucky?’

SS: That’s it! And then you’re haunted by that line. I was haunted for a long time. I really think I was going in circles forever, like ‘who the hell, who the hell is Bucky, who the-‘ It’s just saying-

KS: You got one line in the movie and you gotta get it right man.

SS: It’s like the Aviator, where you’re like ‘show me the blueprints.’ ‘show me-‘ ‘who the hell is Bucky.’

KS: Excellent pull on the Aviator, man. Alright take us into the world of making marvel movies. Who are you friendly with? Who do you spend a lot of time with on set? Who’s your buddy?

SS: I mean, I think, Anthony and Chris obviously were the guys im closest to and I’ve spent the most time with and I genuinely feel like, we could not talk for a year and we’d pick it right up like nothing happened. Paul Bettany’s become a friend and I just love interacting with him, anything that I- I’ve got two scenes with him barely in the last movie and I just loved every minute of it. Chadwick’s actually really funny as well, he has a sense of humour that many don’t see right away. It’s a good group of people. I don’t know. Paul Rudd is a- Can’t keep a straight face around him. A lot of great people.

KS: It’s awesome to hear, you just call him Chadwick. The rest of us calls him Chadwick Boseman and you just call him Chadwick, and you can just leave it right there, because ‘I actually know the Black Panther.’

SS: Well, in Civil War, he was kinda doing his own thing- may have done it in Black Panther- he was doing a bit of a method acting situation. He was not interacting much with people, he was off on his own.

KS: Oh really, so he was like the character, I got to stay disconnected-

SS: I was like, we weren’t really talking very much and I remember on that rooftop scene in Civil War they we kind of going head to head. He and I didn’t exchange a lot of words, all I remember is that mask coming at me and these long arms coming at me, sweeping at me. So maybe it was effective, I don’t know. He’s just really, really talented.

KS: Take us into the airport sequence in Civil War which is the greatest comic book sequences ever put into film. There’s like 928 superheroes in this scene, so it was like a real clusterf-ck. What was it like to shoot it? Did it take place over the course of a couple of weeks?

SS: Months. It was months. We was always coming back to it. There was always another sequence in that bit that we hadn’t shot yet or needed to come back to. It’s surreal when you did have a bit of down time, I mean everybody was there interacting and kind of- you didn’t always have everybody there- but the few days you did, there was a couple of shots where we had everybody like the line-ups, and that was pretty special. I didn’t want be- I was always concerned like I was going to be the slowest runner and I was like, I can’t be the last guy getting across.

KS: Making a marvel movie is like a high school gym.

SS: Yes! It is, it is.

KS: I’m not letting Evans bet me!

SS: No. It gets a little bit like that… You didn’t have Hemsworth so that was a plus. He gets on set and you’re like I don’t even know why I go to the gym. Why would I even do that. I guess that it’s mental strength!

KS: I’m not even ‘Hemworthy’ enough to be here!

SS: Yes! Definitely not! He’s insane. It’s amazing.

KS: During the course of making these movies a lot of physicality, do you ever get hurt? Ever get injured?

SS: Yeah, for sure. You’re always getting something, some hit. You never know until later because the adrenaline is really high and you’re in the middle of it and want to keep doing it and its usually the next day, your trying to get out of bed and you can’t. You feel it. Yeah.

KS: At that point you’re like f-ck Marvel? Or do you work through it like money is good.

SS: You’re like, ‘I like my job.’ No! You’re always grateful, of course! The thing is you remember what it was like when you were little, like the cowboy and Indians thing. It’s sort of that thing that never leaves you in a way, you go to work and you go ‘wow’ this is my job.  You wanna try and sell that fight as best as you can and you can’t really sell it once in a while without landing a- something.

KS: You watch something- having worked in production, I know they edit it and stuff and I know they throw fake punches. Sometimes these cats go together so hard you had to have connected.  

SS: Oh! I’m sure, it’s happened a million times!

KS: What is your best memory of making a Marvel movie so far? Happiest moment, best day so far? Or in post, cause selling the movies seem like you have a lot of fun and going out on the press circuit and stuff.

SS: I’ve never been on a press- world press tour, for anything before, that was pretty special. Just going to different places and going to Asia for the first time is still a big memory for me cause I’ve never been and you see how everybody is so excited about the movies over there and then the same in Europe. You never get over that, you never get tired of that. I think that at the end of the day going home at night and feeling like you know your part of a good goal and everybody is on the same page. You wanna make the best possible product- the thing you can. And people are looking out for you that way, it doesn’t feel like- you can be in an environment where you feel like people are competitive, where it’s weird and something. Other than trying to run fast you don’t really feel- everyone’s on the same team with this one.

KS: Alright, I’m going to open up to these cats. We’ve got two microphones right there, and people are jumping up to them right now. We’re going to start on this side…

(Fan gets attacked by the mic, Kevin replies with don’t let it break your nose. Just a fyi.)

Fan 1: First of all, I love you.

SS: I love you too.

Fan 2: What’s the worst part of being an actor? What’s the worst things that happen.

SS: Oh god, probably, falling in love with a project and then not seeing it happen and having it fall apart right before you’re shooting. That’s happened to me a few times. Or hearing the word ‘No’ over and over again, that happens a lot too.

KS: A lot of rejection in this business.

SS: Yeah, you do, you have it but there’s a way to use that to come back to it. Stronger or something.

Fan 1: Ok, cool. Another question, what’s it like working with Robert Downey Jr.?

SS: The guy is a legend. I don’t know, I grew up on Chaplin and all those movies, you never know with him, you’re gonna end up with a real reaction, you never know what’s coming at you. He’s so quick and witted, in the moment it always amazes you.

KS: How close does he stay to the page? I’ve always wondered. He sounds like he (makes it up?) dialogue. Am I wrong?

SS: He does and he doesn’t. He will do it a few times. That’s the thing, he says it so naturally, you go ‘was that even written?’ once he’s done it a few times, I feel he can’t help himself, he’s got to do something different each time. He keeps it new, that kind of thing.

(Sketch book fan!)

Fan 3: I was wondering if you wanted to look at my sketch book?

SS: I would gladly look at your sketch book. Come find me after? (looking at Kevin) Is that what you say?

KS: Can we pass it up here? While we answer the next question? We can use everybody just passing forward. If you don’t get it back, Sebastian stole it.

SS: Yeah, it would be me.

Fan 3: That’s fine as well.

KS: Send it up! We’ll get it into his hands. Meanwhile, we’ll jump over here and jump back to you for a review of your portfolio.

Fan 4: If Bucky got hold of the infinity gauntlet, what do you think he would do with it?

(Background fan: Deep important question!)

KS: It’s a great question.

SS: It is a great question. There’s only one place he would go and that’s back in time! (sebastian’s now received the book) Yeah, he’d probably go back in time. Try to fix all the things he’s done wrong, for starters. Maybe… Not get on that train? I don’t know.

SS: (towards sketch book fan) This is really great, by the way! (looking through) Oh my god, hello!

KS: Flip it this way.. This is legit, man! I know you didn’t ask me, but excellent job!

SS: A lot of complex things going on there. Oh my god, you’re very talented. Nice recurring theme.

(Kevin notices Loki as a snake)

SS: Each one of these pictures is like my worst nightmare. Pretty much.

KS: Want him to tag the book for you, while he’s got it?

Fan 3: Sure. Why not.

KS: (Sebastian signs the book) He wrote, ‘I drew this.’

SS: This is really great. Keep drawing! Don’t stop!

(Here’s one of my warnings! Slightly awkward)

Fan 5: Before I ask my question, my brother is a huge fan of the Captain America franchise. He has a group that he cosplays with, a group of friends. He plays Captain American and his friend, N, is Bucky, obviously. I was wondering if you could give a quick, hello to my brother and his friend?

SS: Hello-

Fan 5: Wait, not ready!

SS: This is amazing. Hello N, and the brother!

Fan 5: My question is: I fell in love with you first when I saw you as Jefferson at the time. By the way, I love you.

SS: I love you too.

Fan 5: You play a lot of characters that, deal with a lot of heavy-

SS: Issues?

Fan 5: No! They really deal with hard emotions. It’s sometimes difficult as an actor to reach that place and it’s hard to come back from that. So I’m wondering, actor to actor, how do you not let the negative emotions that you portray in characters affect you and how do you translate over to- you! How do you keep them separate? Cause you’re always this happy puppy.

SS: Wow, that’s…

KS: Well happy puppy, what do you say?

SS: Yeah, exactly. I don’t know if I’m a happy puppy all the time. No-one really is right? I think you have to try and not isolate yourself. It’s who you keep around in your life, that’s why it’s so important, your family and friends, who you trust. You can’t lose that sense of ground that is you, yourself. If I’m away somewhere on set, I try to check in with people and it’s ok to check in! I think people are so scared sometimes to admit that ‘I’m not having a great day!’ like, ‘what’s up, what’s going on?’ I think it’s okay to say that, and one of your friends is going to call you back.  Please tell people when you’re not having a good day! That’s what I do I guess.

KS: I’m going to ask you a quick question. When you play Bucky, you’re playing a character that carries expectation with him. People be like, ‘I’ve been reading this character in the books since I was a kid.’ So, there’s a certain amount of pressure there and there’s freedom because nobody knows what Bucky sounds like, until they put him on film for the first time and it’s you, so you get to set the tone. But recently, you were on I, Tonya, right?  And so, in that case you had to play a person the world knew, somebody who was well documented on film and stuff. What was the difficultly in that and the marvel stuff?

SS: That has its own weird expectations, in its own way. Expectations is the biggest enemy no matter how you cut it. I think you have no choice to- it’s more mechanical, I just watched what I could on the guy (Jeff), over and over, I just listened to any audio I had of him over and over again. Until I could feel like it was becoming me. It’s tough because you have to adjust to something that already exists. But sometimes that’s good too! You know where you’re going. Bucky had source and material. But in the movies, like you said at the beginning, in the comic books, he was a kid.

KS: Yeah, there was nothing you could go off of.

SS: They came in and we like, okay we’re going to have him more of a bigger brother and have this guy whether or not enlist. It’s sort of it’s own pros and cons.

(LGBT fan)

SS: Hi, what’s up?

Fan 6: Nothing much.

SS: How’s the German Shepard? (Dog the fan has.)

Fan 6: The German Shepard is great. His name is R. As a gay man, I really appreciate it when you play gay characters. Do you feel like you’ll ever go back into playing and LGBT character?

SS: Yeah, why not? I would in a second. It’s always about the script, the story telling, what kind of obstacles a character has in their life and what they’re trying to get through and that doesn’t matter. We’re all fighting against something and we’re all facing something. We all want to change and get better at, that’s universal. It’s just about having the right story. If it happens, why not?

 (End of part one. Part two with Sebastian and Anthony Mackie)

note: sorry for typos and grammar mistakes. I tried getting this out quickly!

[strawberryishness]

memes of 2018

So since there are already so many of them and I’m on this hell hole 365 days a year, I decided to keep a list of all the memes 2018 has to give to somehow give myself a reason to procrastinate even more. Now it might not be a full list, so feel free to add more.

The memes of 2018:

- ‘The first meme of 2018 is’

-  Why Would You Say Something So Controversial Yet So Brave?

- the guy who said this made a comeback in which he shoots someone on a chair behind him

- Do you know da wae?

- Tidepods (god, this... I’m, I’m lost)

- Gordon Ramsay: Finally some good fucking food

- Somebody touche my SPAGET

- The road sign one

-  oh haven’t you heard? 

- Lesbians applause

- gorilla channel

- you so fucking precious when you smile edit

- the bowling alley one 

- FBI agent  

- We been knew

 - change my mind 

- actually no, you didn’t 

- evil Patrick 

- #Aliendance

- […] is braver than any US marine 

- Krusty Crab vs Chum Bucket

- Gru memes (update: it got a comeback in April/May, with hey gorls)

- but go off I guess

- presentation guy is back with you guys are just mean

- brackets (made a comeback later in the year)

- if you don’t love me at my, then you don’t deserve me at my

- panting spongebob

- then perish made a comeback

- This face from free real estate

- charts

- [...] lives in infinity war

- is this a pigeon? man (resurrected)

- what’s [month]’s mood?

- Hewwo?

- what’s happening on Twitter 😂

- nah, I’m not with it. Fuck that.

...

- it’s more likely than you think woman had a comeback as well

- hard to swallow pills

- Tom (from Tom and Jerry) dailing

- Kim Kardashian sipping a drink

- my last two brain cells

- yanny and laurel

- the alphabet according to [blank]

- top ten

- That’s so sad, Alexa play despacito (or any other song really)

- annoyed birb ft a crow

- Trojan horse

- this gal:

- big dick energy

- bold of you to assume that [...]

- in my feelings challenge

- Nike commercial

- johny johny Yes papa

- Do you remember? The 21st night of SEPTEMBER (this is not a meme per se, but it is important)

- 👌

- every meme that died because the react channel reacted to it

- bongo cat

- 1 thing 2 say 3 words 4 you [...]

- flip phone guy

- OKTOBER IS HERE

- moth memes

- presidential alert

- the creation of Adam kinda made a comeback? Idk I saw it a lot in different contexts

- Best pirate ive ever seen…

- we are number one guy replacing the drake meme

- shaking hands

- surprised pikachu

- voting 2016 vs voting 2018

- one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain

- 👀 (Mayhem Miller)

- whatever a mess tik tok is

- brain (don’t say it)

- Scarlet Johansson casted as a poc

- tumblr banning the titties

- honestly there were a lot more but this year has been too tiring and if that’s not a mood I don’t know what is