#tom cardy - business man

[paintedcrows]

working on a little something based on that hysterical bit in the NYCC Panel where Stan calls Bill a cop 👨‍💼💼

[lavb-b]

He's definitely not a cop (Voice Designs - the wonderful @itsonlypolite !)

Part 2 coming soon

if i dnont die in the rpocess

[yzur02]

B-b-b-b-business man

B-b-b-b-business man

I'm a businessman

With a business plan

I'm gonna make you money

In business land

I'm a cool guy, talking about GameStop

I'm definitely not

Batman

Why'd you say you're not Batman?

Because I'm not

I think that you're Batman

I also think that you're Batman

Listen boys, you better both stop

Or I'll have you arrest

I'm not Batman

I'm a businessman

With a business tan

I spend my days in a big, black unmarked van

If you wanna talk turkey, I'm here to talk shop

I'm definitely not

Batman

You're motherfucking Batman

I can tell from the way that you stand

And you said that you worked in an unmarked van

Well, listen boys

I'm not Batman

I'm a businessman

In a coffee shop

With throwing knives and a bulletproof vest

I saw my parents get killed by the drug cartel

I'm not Batman

B-b-b-b-business man

B-b-b-b-business man

B-b-b-b-business man

Why does he have a knife?

Ski-bi-di-bi-dap-dap-dap-di-bi-dap, (business)

Calling Batman, has your cover been blown?

Is that your police radar?

That was my business phone

And the cover they're referring to

Is when I sung "Money" by Pink Floyd

Yeah, that's a business song

Saying "business" before another word

Doesn't make the whole thing business related

And if I may critique the whole police system

Then oh, look, there's a sniper pointed at my forehead

No, it's not

Yes, it is

No, it's not

See this little red dot?

Yes?

That's for a sniper shot

There's no snipers here, and there's no police plot

(Snipers ready) do it now, take the shot

I'm a businessman, speaking with two friends

And one of them has a single chicken pock on their head

I don't know the guy who's dressed in leather

With an M-21 pointed at your friend's head

You shouldn't have said that

I think you've really upset him

What do you mean you don't know me?

I was the best man at your wedding

I'm a businessman, I'm not friends with snipers

Oh, yeah? (Oh yeah)

Ah! You shot me in the leg! (You shot him in the leg)

You shot me in my left leg! (You shot him in his left leg)

He's a businessman who's definitely not Batman

But now he's been shot in his left leg

How about now?

No, I still don't know you

Say my name!

I don't know your name!

Why don't you say his name?

He's gonna shoot you again

I told you, I don't know his na

Oh, he shot my other leg! (He shot his other leg)

He shot me in my right leg! (He shot him in the right leg)

He's a businessman getting shot in his legs

By his ex-best man, he's not Batman

Say my name

No, you've got a dumb name

Ugh, fine! Joe Chill

What?

That's his name, Joe Chill

Oh, that's, that's fine

Okay, that's a name, I suppose

That's a pretty dumb name

Ah! Joe Chill just shot me in the tits!

Ah! Chill, stop shooting my business associates!

I'm a bad guy, and if you couldn't tell

I also killed your parents in that drug cartel

Call for backup or we're all gonna die

Just admit that you're Batman and save our lives

Boys, I'd do anything to make the shooting stop

But I've told you before, I'm not Batman

B-b-b-b-business man (business)

B-b-b-b-business man (businessman)

B-b-b-b-business man (oh yeah)

I told you before, I do business only

B-b-b-b-business man, (with a b-b-b-briefcase)

B-b-b-b-business man, (and a b-b-b-ballpoint pen, ah)

He's definitely not Batman

B-b-b-b-business man

B-b-b-b-business man

[lo-fag]

today, on the train

[pigtailedgirl]

Please shoot the other leg.

[temporaltourguide]

i recorded this a while ago but i decided yeah tumblr should see this

[urielwiththegoodhair]

yeah, no. you totally have a pet human now.

are you even paying her? seems more like you kinda just scooped her up

I'll have you know that we have a very professional business agreement that is strictly confidential.

[rosetta-j-stone]

Why do I love this stupid song so much

[rad1o-passiv3]

the two genders

[ahumanfromspace]

personal petition for someone to make a rottmnt animatic to this song

no specific reason, it would just be incredibly funny

like the series of events would be so chaotic

very humorous

[kittycatcarla]

@technologyvoid @whatcouldpossiblyg0wr0ng

AITA for walking out on a girl on our first date because of her favorite movie?

She said it was Human Centipede. HUMAN CENTIPEDE. Who says that???

[hiibi]

I just want to draw my OCs being hot besties together but instead I'm trying to fall asleep at 4:22AM and have to do course work tomorrow AND send an email!!!!!

[lewvithur]

listen to tom cardy, he has a variety of song topics including

say hello to this business man! he’s not a cop don’t worry

santa’s elves unionise the north pole (surprise, that’s two songs!)

the one location you should tell someone to check whenever they lose an item of any type

fiendish outlaw who uses no guns and defeats his enemies by flipping the bird at people, including baristas who overcharge him for a cappucino and people who bring soda water to his birthday dinner

some vampires get bored so they all become flautists who have perfected the art of Embouchure

a dog at a party- no wait now we’re on the wikipedia of the Vatican

mario’s existential crisis

pluto learned to stop doubting itself so you should too!

and finally, what is this girl’s favourite film? the answer will surprise you!

[puppuptrixii]

Clover the phantom.

They are trying to convince everyone they're not a phantom, even wearing a hat to obscure their phantom features. Everyone knows they're a phantom, but they keep doing the bit.

hello jammers

if you guys have any animal jam ocs you want to send please i really want to see them.

[missmako-chan]

I've been listening to Tom Cardy songs on loop for like a week now, and the idea for this hit me like Gidel's Gino's big ol' hammer. So anyways here's Ernesto Foulworth, extremely trustworthy business man and definitely Not Fellow Honest

Also on YouTube!