#told y'all id feed you

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

Wait, hold on, I still have more sketches to get out of my system

[starluvsx]

★𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𖦹 𝐏!𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤

proofread:YUPPP

word count:1.4K

WARNINGS:swearing?thats rlly it

A/N:i wanna do more headannons and stuff like this.this was rlly cute and fun to write.also I look wish the baby project was like a thing at my school but we don't even got working lights in some of the bathrooms soooo.

nick

you guys turned to each other as soon as the teacher said you could choose parameters

y'all were so convinced you would be great at taking care of the kid

you were wrong

You guys didn’t know you were supposed to change the baby until one of your friends told you

the first night nick took the baby too his house and left it on the kitchen table for six hours

he didn't realize he left it there till his mom came home from work and heard crying

you left it in your backpack twice

people said you were starting to look like an actual mom because of how stressed you were over this robot baby

almost set the bay on fire then you guys were trying to make pancakes

"so then I told her I was like why the fuck would you-"you began before you realized neither of you had the baby.you looked around before seeing the babies head dangerously close to the fire coming from under the pan in the stove. "Nick oh my gosh!"you said as you shot up from your seat at the table, grabbing the plastic baby from the counter. “you almost killed her!"you dramatically said as you cradled the baby, touching it's now warm head lightly.you didn't let him touch the baby for the next 2 days.

"y/n I have to hold the baby eventually,I don't wanna fail."He tried to negotiate a few days later.

"only if you promise not to put my baby's head near an open flame again."you asked him to do while rocking the baby.

"bitch im not gonna burn your baby."he joked, making the two of you laugh.you then handed him the baby, still smiling at your best friend's stupid joke. as soon as the baby was in his arms though it began to cry and wail. "Actually you can have your baby back"he said before handing it back to you jokingly.his gesture made the both of you laugh even more.

you guys got a C+, partly because some of the babies' hair was a little burnt.

Matt

treated that baby as if it was real.

literally named it Issac

set timers for every time he had to feed it and change it

The baby had a built-in voice box to make him laugh so he loved to make it laugh and giggle.

wouldn't let the kid go

had to stay on the phone with you on the nights you kept the baby

like the whole night

there was one time where you forgot to feed the baby and he literally freaked out

on the last week of the project he realized he didn't wanna give the baby back

you were already done with it though

everyone at school said you guys were like actual parents by the end of it

you didn't even realize how attached he was to the baby until you walked in on him sleeping cuddled ups that the baby

your phone rang from inside your pocket.the gas station you worked at was empty at the moment so you didn't hesitate to answer it. "Matt" read the caller id, confusing you because he knew you were at work but you still picked it up nonetheless. "Hey baby."he said into the phone.

"hi matt, what’s up,i’m at working right now so I can't talk for long" you explained as you saw a car pull into the parking lot.the headlights standing out in the darkness

"Well i was just wondering if you wanted to come over after your shift, i got some snacks but nobody to share em with." he asked cheekily though the phone.the people from outside stepped into the gas stations mom and her daughter.you laughed at his slyness until faint baby cries in the background.

"Is that isaac?did you forget to feed him?''you asked worriedly through the phone.the mom and her daughter looked at you confused as your young face was talking, presumably, about her baby.

"No I just have to change him" he explained through the phone.shuffling could be heard from the other line before you could say anymore.matt letting out a dad like groan while getting up made you smile to yourself.

"ok yea i'll come over in a little, probably like 9:30, is that okay?"you asked through the

phone.he mumbled a small 'yea thats fine' before we said 'I love you's and 'goodbye's and hung up.the lady and her kid coming up to the register once I put my phone in my pocket.

later

I let myself into the house and was greeted with Mary Lou and Nick watching a movie in the living room. "Hey guys,"I said sweetly, smiling and waving at the pair. They greeted me the same way before I asked "is Matt in his room?"

"Mhm" Mary Lou hummed. I walked down the hall till I made it into his room.i knocked on the door before opening in slowly.i was met with matt sleeping soundly,plastic baby cuddled up to his chest.i giggled a little before taking out my phone to take a picture.

Once I snapped the picture I tapped him on the shoulder lightly to not scare him.he fluttered his eyes open and looked at me tiredly. "oh hey babe" he mumbled out while sitting up and looking around wearily. "Was I cuddling with the baby?" he asked,confused at the doll that was in his now unraveled arm.

"yea you were"I laughed out before moving the 'baby' and climbing into bed with him.

"I was wishing it was you"he said as he pulled closer to him.the little comment making me laugh lightly.

I turned my body to face him before asking "so where are the snacks?" which made him

reach over to his bedside table and grab some chips, candy and 2 sodas.

"right here"he said while smiling and kissing me on the cheek.

you guys got an a+ on the project and your teacher even said you would be “perfect parents one day"

Chris

he actually asked you to be his partner instead of it being the other way around

It was way more stressful than you guys thought it would be

First you guys lost the bottle for a whole day

Literally looked up and down to find it but you just actually could not.

Turns out Chris left it in his locker

He def posts pictures of him and the baby with captions and stuff saying “ me and @youruser babyyyy” and “I think she looks more like me but idk” on instagram and snap

Was actually a very good parent despite thinking he wouldn't be

Dropped the baby like twice though

He also bought like little clothes for the baby so she wasn’t just walking around nakedly

you were so confused when he brought them home

when he would play video games you would tease him and ask him to "not swear in front of the child"

both of you ended up very emotionally attached to the kid

was very committed to being an actual dad after the fact

you guys were tired.watching a movie in chris' bed after a long day at school wasn't the best idea for staying awake.but while you were very tapped into the movie, you could also simultaneously feel his eyes boring into you.you didn't know why but also didn't think much of it.he's always been a bit of a starer.

you decided to continue focusing on the movie until it was abruptly paused. "hey why'd you do that?"you questioned.looking over at the boy who had been looking at you most of the night.

"Wanna have a kid?"he asked.the question leaving you stunned and confused at the sudden idea.kids had always been a possibility in both of your minds but it never something that could manifest into a real physical thing.

"Right now, like at this age?"you asked him to clarify.

"well now, in a years, five years, i don't really care"chris answered

"definitely not now, maybe when we're older with a house, a steady paycheck and you know, a high school diploma."you attempted to explain.

"I can't wait that longggg."he whined

"Well I definitely can,"you sassed. "Now turn the movie back on, I wanna see how this ends."

"probably with them having a baby."he joked under his breath as he reached for the remote to do what you asked

"chris you've seen this movie before you know how it ends"

[muffinbeliever]

Neighborly Love [02]

Pairing: Coworker!Dean Winchester x Coworker!Reader

Word Count: 1131

Warnings: nothing ? trauma dumping lol but nothing that we didnt know already

Summary: Coworker!AU– Dean Winchester is the newbie around the office, and also your new cubicle neighbor. You have him all figured out from the start: a jerk, or so you think. It doesn’t help that he won’t stop flirting with you. Will Dean be able to convince you otherwise? 

A/N: oop hey guys *shyly tucks hair behind my ears* its been a while huh i was recently reminded that i actually told someone that id be posting the second chapter in december 2022 so we all know how that turned out... but anyways the only thing i can think of is #the hoes are gonna LOVE this have no fear y'all mother is here to feed you with a light chapter of lunch fluff

Masterlist | Neighborly Love Masterlist

You had just finished the fourth page of your project report, starting to double check for mistakes, when Dean cleared his throat. A quick glance showed him standing by the partition, his jacket hanging from his arm and an expectant look on his face. 

“Huh?” You asked, confused. You continued to proofread while you waited for his reply, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to reword an awkward sentence. 

“I asked if you wanna get lunch,” he said. Your fingers hovered frozen over the keyboard. 

“Lunch?” You repeated, finally turning in your chair to face him properly. 

“Yeah, you know, the meal between breakfast and dinner? Eaten around midday? We get an hour off work? Which is right about now?” He teased, his green eyes twinkling with playfulness. 

“I know what lunch is.” You pretended to be annoyed to hide your amusement. “I was just processing the thought of lunch with you.” 

“Ouch,” he joked. “And here I was, doing a good deed by inviting you to lunch so you wouldn’t think of your breakup.” 

“Well, I wasn’t thinking about the breakup until right now,” you groaned. You had been so preoccupied with your report, you hadn’t given your breakup a single thought, but now, you had a whole hour to do nothing but that. 

“Then we’ll just have to go to lunch to take your mind off it,” he responded with a smirk. You debated continuing your work instead, but gave Dean’s offer a second thought.

“Beats work, I guess.” 

You saved your work and turned off the monitor before grabbing your purse. Your eyes swept the desk as you rose from the chair, and you had one arm in your jacket when you saw his grin. 

“What?” You asked, a little wary of his response.

“Nothing.” He was unsuccessful in feigning nonchalance. You gave him a pointed look.

“I…” He trailed off as he collected his thoughts. “I just think we got off on the wrong foot, and I’m hoping this lunch will be better,” he admitted. He rubbed the back of his neck and his eyes were averted, hinting towards his nervousness. You were thrown off by his truthfulness, but after a moment, you were surprised to find that you agreed.

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. The grin he returned conveyed his relief, and you swore the air felt a little lighter. “Come on, then. Part of inviting me to lunch is actually going.”

“Alright,” he chucked. “Where should we go? Lady’s choice.” 

The diner across the street was nothing special, but it was close and fast– two things you appreciated. The hostess seated the two of you upon arrival, and within five minutes, your orders were taken.

“So, Y/N Y/L/N, tell me about yourself,” Dean said, after the waitress set down your drinks. 

“There’s not much to tell,” you warned. 

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you said with a shrug. “When you’re an only child and both of your parents are on-call surgeons, it’s kinda lonely and boring. I read a lot as a kid and focused on school. I always went to class and ran for student-body president. Don’t get me wrong, though, I had a social life and friends. I dated a couple of boys and fooled around with a couple more, but nothing wild. And then I went to college, but that wasn’t anything wild either.”

You were quiet for a moment, giving yourself time before continuing. 

“I met Zach during the second half of junior year. We were in the same class and, I don’t know, I guess we kinda just clicked. We got coffee a couple of times and worked on a couple of projects together. Even after the semester was over, we kept in contact and eventually he asked me out and we started dating. After graduation, I got this job and he took an offer at a tech company two hours away.” 

A familiar lump began to form in your throat. “It’s been a year since then, and I thought things were going fine between us, but clearly they weren’t. And I–” 

Your vision blurred from the tears brimming your eyes. You took a deep breath. Dean offered the glass in front of you, and you sipped at it while the waitress set down your plates. Your mouth watered at the sight of the cheeseburger in front of you. 

“Anyways, enough about me,” you said, once the waitress had left. “What about you?” 

Dean shrugged in response. 

As you ate, he talked about the house fire that took his mother when he was four, leaving his dad to take care of him and his younger brother, Sam, who was only six-months-old at the time. He shared how his dad turned to alcohol after the tragedy, and how it was the cause of the car accident that killed him ten years later. Bobby, a close family friend without kids of his own, adopted the brothers right after. Dean struggled through high school and vowed to never set foot on a school campus again once he graduated. He lived at Bobby’s until Sam finished high school, working as a mechanic at Bobby’s body shop. From there, Dean bounced around, taking the odd job here and there.

You listened to his story with rapt attention, admiring his animated gestures and shining eyes as he talked about Sam, who was now in his last year of college. The brothers had remained close over the years, despite their physical distance.

“Eventually, after working so many different jobs, I had gained experience that employers valued– at least, enough to overlook my lack of college degree– and I ended up here,” he concluded with a shrug. He was relaxed against the cushion of the booth, reaching out his hand to swipe a french fry through ketchup. His fingers drummed on the table while he chewed. 

“Thanks for sharing that with me,” you said softly, offering him a small smile. His fingers stopped their tapping.

“Thanks for taking me up on lunch,” He responded, just as softly. His forearms rested against the table as he subtly leaned closer, mirroring you. The sunlight hit him at the perfect angle, revealing the flecks of gold amongst his vivid green eyes and the smaller, fainter freckles dusting his cheekbones. Your breath hitched at the sight.

The corners of his mouth slowly raised to a smile– the movement catching your attention. Your gaze lowered to his lips and you found yourself wondering if they were as soft as they looked. 

“Like what you see?” He was parroting his first words to her using the same, smooth flirtatious tone that had irritated every nerve in your body yesterday, but today, you found you didn’t mind it one bit.

Taglist: @akshi8278 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @lanea-1 @slamminmine @bluedragonflylady @cevans-winchester @bakugouswh0r3 @muhahaha303 @allaroundjejje

[teshine]

Obey me Dateables reacting to:

finding themselves under a mistletoe with you!

»[brothers ver.]

summary: you've told the brothers about a silly little tradition humans do during christmas; kisses under the mistletoe.

» a/n: sorry if this was a bit too late for Christmas. this literally took me days to think for ideas loll 😭 hope y'all still liked this tho!

Diavolo ♡

it all started when Lucifer told him about your little mistletoe story

he found it rather interesting

to a point where he made sure to set one up in the council room 💀

he just wanted to be a good friend and play match maker okay

but oops, things didn't go according to plan. (again)

bcs the next day you decided to arrive 10 minutes early for a student council meeting, and surprise surprise, so did diavolo.

he would start a little small talk. eventually leading him to admit that there was actually a mistletoe above you both.

when I tell you it took you a second to process it

he literally just randomly blurted it out

"ah that reminds me! there's actually a mistletoe on top of us right now!"

says with with a matching big smile on his face like It wasn't a big deal.

"this is definitely unexpected isn't it?... maybe it's fate?"

he'd probably be flustered and smiley, heart pounding faster by the minute.

"can I... kiss you?" he'd ask.

the last thing he wanted was for you to be uncomfortable. of course he'd respect if you'd say no.

if you agree, he'd let out a light chuckle. fingers holding your chin, lifting it up slightly and gives you a heartwarming kiss against your lips.

gives you his big goofy smile afterwards

like damn, how can one human make his heart race so much?

also, ma'am, sir, if you're not I love with him yet,, HOW?

whoever passed by y'all and witnessed everything, definitely thought it's like they witnessed some cheesy romantic movie scene.

if news spread and Lucifer finds out, ahA save yourself cuz he'd probably scold you until diavolo admits he started everything.

Barbatos ♡

today you got a call from barbatos who needed help. your help specifically.

he wanted to try out new food recipes from the human world

who are you to say no to the oh so mysterious butler?

and that's why you're now in the kitchen of the demon lord's castle reciting the ingredients of your favorite human food

a few hours past and the food was ready for taste testing

Id like to think he'd feed you a spoonful of everything he had made. waiting for you approval.

would smile wider when you tell them it tastes amazing.

moments later while in the middle of savoring his dishes, you took notice of the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling. and you name it, it's right above you.

I can lowkey imagine mc choking and a panicked barbatos giving you some water 😭

anyways, when you questioned him about it, he just tells you Satan (+ Asmo) came by to put them all up and that Diavolo left it as it is.

if you had super speed, you'd zoom back home and smack the living hell out of Satan and Asmo

"Lord Diavolo also mentioned about the tradition in the human world— kisses under a mistletoe, correct?"

all you did was nod. looking down, way too embarrassed to look at him right now.

he'd chuckle and let out a "hmm.. it does seem pretty interesting"

"yeah...... it is..."

and mind you, this man is always calm and collected. he'd probably deal with this situation easily

suddenly you'll hear light footsteps. he'd slowly walk towards you. slipping two fingers under your chin and lifting it up. you were wet with his face only inches apart.

the more you stare at him, the more visible his blushing cheeks become. cute you thought

would say shit like "have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" to make you 10x more flustered

you hate him for it, but that all fades away because he leans in and presses a chaste kiss on your lips.

he wouldn't admit it out loud, but he's always wanted to know what it was like to kiss the human he's very much interested in.

side note: after this encounter, if y'all become official, he'd make your favorite human food in a heart beat. you wouldn't even have to ask.

Solomon ♡

since it's the holidays, you'd wanna go home for atleast a day right?

and by home, I mean to the human world

which thankfully, Diavolo gave you permission to

butttt there's just one condition. he'll allow ONLY if someone comes with.

and Solomon just so happened to be free for that day.

so ofc you agreed, anything to see family. besides, what could possibly go wrong, right?

...

yeahhhhh no. 💀

cuz when you brought solomon home with you, your family IMMEDIATELY thought he was your boyfriend.

bro not even after a second, he was SWARMED by them asking questions.

mf may have look calm and smiley but man when I tell you his red ears say otherwise

was lowkey a bit disappointed when you assured them that he was jUst a FriEnD.

he thought your embarrassed face was adorable when your fam exposed your embarrassing childhood memories.

but time flew by and you were told to check out the beautiful evening sky.

aka the place where a mistletoe is.

you knew damn well your family had something up their sleeve.

you warned solomon about the gut feeling, but he only laughed it off

and while at the middle rambling about you family's antics,

someone opens the balcony door and goes "oh and by the way, if you haven't noticed yet, you're under a mistletoe heheh" then left.

heheh? HEHEH❓❓❓

for a few seconds he thinks he may have malfunctioned a bit, but tries to calm the fuck down

"your family is really something huh?" he'd say with a light chuckle.

at this point, you wanted the ground to swallow you up WHOLE.

"haha... w-well y'know, you dont.. really.... have.. to...." you'd trail off as he walked towards you

he'd slowly pull you by the waist, closer to him. face only centimeters away.

"and if I do, hm?"

"i- uh- um..."

he swears, he may sound alright, but his beating chest makes him think it's so loud you'll probably here each beat.

he'd smile and finally close the small gap between you. kissing you like you were the most delicate thing that existed.

que the loud ass squealing household.

god being with yoh has definitely been a treat since the beginning. cuz man if he could repeat time, he'd play this part of his life on replay.

maybe things went wrong in the right way?

Simeon ♡

I honestly think it would happen in the school library.

you needed help with some lessons, and remembered Simeon saying he could tutor you whenever you were having a hard time.

and so you both meet up in the school library.

a few lessons go by, and Simeon declared that it was time for a little break.

as a break, you both walked around the library together, scanning a few books. looking around as if you haven't been there for the nth time.

while strolling, you notice Simeon coming to a stop.

"y/n look. they set up a mistletoe— a lot of them actually... reminds me of the rumors I heard about"

oh

well this is awkward..

you'd both would stare at it for a bit as if staring would make it magically disappear or something.

you decided to play it off. thinking Simeon would probably care less, or wouldn't be interested in any of these nonsense things.

but nooooo you thought wrong. man, you have no idea how he just wanted to grab your face and kiss you right there and then.

except he was just.. nervous. he didn't know what to do or how to act.

"a-ah. nah, don't mind it, mistletoes are just for a silly little tradition anyway-" you'd say to break the award tension

you were supposed to walk away.

supposed to.

but you felt a light tug on your sleeve. as if signalling you to wait.

turning around, you'd see Simeon with his hand on his nape.

his pretty cheeks would be dusted with bright pink. shyly looking away.

Its probably because he didn't really know how to ask for a kiss

"I... I uhm.."

you didn't any more words. his actions were obvious.

say no more gorgeous angel!

the closer you get, the deeper the shade his cheeks turn

with both your hands reaching up to cup each cheek, cradling his face. you could practically feel him melt under your touch.

he's screaming on the inside.

is also thanking god for hearing his prayers

dear lord the things you do to him. it drives him absolutely crazy.

with heart eyes, he stares into yours. seeing you coming closer and closer.

then finally, you gave him a soft and gentle kiss.

that was it. his heart was beating, almost like it was gonna explode

his legs felt like they were too weak to hold him up.

just like that you got him wrapped around your fingers

never in a millennium did he ever think he'd fall for a human. and yet he did

now he wished time stopped. wanting to stay in your hold til who knows when

that's when he knew, he'd do anything, and I mean absolutely anything for you.

[skeletalheartattack]

Okay so ive been wanting to post this story for a while now but couldn't figure out a way to post it in a way i was comfortable, up until now. the story’s a little lengthy so i’ll put a “Keep Reading” segment about half-way through, so i don’t clog up your feed.

=======

So around the time i was six, me and my mother were shopping in a mall, a little far away from where we live, and we come to this intersection that leads like... three ways. within that intersection, there's this little booth with a man taking pictures of folks with this little monkey. so i notice what's going on and i point it out, and my mother's like, "oh, would you want to take a picture with it?" and of course im like "oh absolutely. that's a monkey. of course i want a picture with it."

so we head over towards the booth, and the man taking the pictures says something like "if you want to take a picture with him, it's 10 dollars", and so my mother pays the man, and I head over to sit on this plastic lawn chair, with this big picture of trees and shit behind it. and so the man leads this little monkey (idk what kind of monkey, but you can figure that out yourself soon) to where im sitting, and for now we'll call him "Hoops".

so he gets on the chair with me, and we take the picture, and i think i cough or blink or something because the face im making is very... strange, so i kinda look empty minded in the photo. however you won't see the face i made, since i've replaced myself with Boe, only because id feel very weird having a pic of me at the age of 5 on tumblr:

yes it's very messy and ugly, but that's me, and Hoops the monkey; i call him that since that's what is written on his little basketball jersey. anyway back to the story

so, im thinking "oh that was fun, that'll be a good memory. i cant wait to put this up in my house and show people." and so i get up off the chair, and head back to my mom. except it's not that simple, because BAM, i slam onto the carpet because Hoops has just now grabbed me by my ankle, tripping me... and starts dragging me towards the chair, presumably to take another picture.

now im not really thinking about anything in this situation, if anything i find it kind of funny, but yeah he just trips me and starts trying to drag me back to the chair. next thing i know, the photographer BOOKS it from behind his booth, and runs to stop Hoops the monkey from doing anything to me, and so i get back up and head over to my mom while he's keeping Hoops back or whatever.

i don't remember my moms reaction, but i couldn't imagine it being as humorous as i thought it was. so anyway, the photographer comes back to us and is like "i am SO sorry, this is the first time he's ever done this, i don't know what would cause him to do that." and then we leave the mall.

=======

ive told this story to my friends a lot and they really love it for whatever reason, so i wanted to finally post it here for y'all to read. i don't know if that little dudes still doing anything, or even what his actual name is, but whatever it is, im glad it doesn't involve me being dragged around and thrown around like a mace.

[king-ofthe-summerwinter-festival]

Genshin Impact theory time!!

Please do note that I will be referring to leaks, archob quests, in game books & other in game media, and generally very spolier-y things.

If your chill with that, on ward ohhh! If you not, scroll on by, I cant blame you, and take a little but of luck for the road!

Alright! Here we goo!

Today's theory is on visions, or rather, how and who gets them and for why and what reason(s).

Now the easiest way to answer this is go on to the genshin wiki, look at a chacrter, scroll through there story and find the ine about there vision and how they got it.

But! I'm talking about why do certain people we can play as in game get the vision they got?

For this, here are some very rough ideas of how each of the seven archons pick who to give visions to. Think of it as a basic outline, not all requirments must be met but a few should be. This is all also just speculation for now, especially since I wont be covering dendro as there are no playable chacrters of the element and the only known chacrter with a dendro vision is very elusive.

Now on to the visions!

For this post we'll only be covering Anemo since these may get long.

Lets start with where it began for us on Teyvat, Mondstat, city of freedom and home to the anemo archon Barbatos. The anemo vision is a pale green with hints of blue, giving its users crowed, air, and overall strategic use of the wind, the element itself much lile its archon is free and moves as it see fit.

People with anemo visions often have a few things in common, things Barabtos has been known to experince in there life time.

Anemo vision similarites:

1.) Curious nature (Sucrose & Kazhua)

2.) A feeling of necessity towards a goal or position ( Jean & Xiao)

3.) I want for something more then what is available at the moment or feels distant ( Sucrose & Sayu)

4.) Death of someone(s) close to the person via brutal methods, and/or being left by someone who was close to the person for unforseen reasons (Kazhua, Sucrose, Xiao)

5.) In a moment(s) of exterm stress or feelings of distress, seeing a new point of view or appreciation for ones own hardships (Sayu & Jean)

Once again basic outlines, I put the chacrters I think fit with each outline with it for a better understanding. I also didnt include Venti in any of the examples due to the fact they are the archon themselves I didnt see the point in putting them in the examples.

While not everyone has the same life, story, background, or just morals, they all seem to share a thing or two in common with one another and with the Anemo archon themselves

-(Refer to Venti's story quest, voice lines, chacrter stories, and in game books about Mondstats history for further detail.)

Overall, I think Barbatos picks people with determination who have felt trapped or to stuck in one place from there past or current position but, who have a wish to roam free. Without the lingering feeling of something amiss.

This is just my personal take on it though and with soooo much lore, theories, history, books, characters, and story's yet to be found, available, or told. This could easily change or need updating if not a complete 180 in view point. I love disscusion and I havent seen every written or video formatted theory out there so if like to hear what everyone else thinks about this kinda stuff. Id also like to apologize for any spelling errors and or mistakes, spelling is by no means my strong suit and typing this all on mobile defiantly dodnt help my case.

EITHER WAYY!!

See y'all on your feeds again someday!

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Training day

Drink, drank, drunk!! Just a little bit of fun, sorry its long :)

Enjoy xx

"OK guys, we have been asked to go to an NYPD Sex Crimes Conference next Saturday. It's a training day for us, Dodds said you all have to be there"

"Come on Liv, Really?" Fin complained back

"Yes really, it's in Brooklyn, so we will all meet here at 7.30 and take a squad car together, it's starts at 8.30 and is meant to finished at 5.30, I have booked us a table at a place near by where we are going to go for dinner so then we can have some team bonding"

"Does the team bonding involve shots?" Amanda joked back

"Team bonding is what you make it Rollins" Liv smiled back

----

"Hermosa, I'm home"

"Hey Rafi, I missed you" he walked over to where you were sitting at the dining table with paper work all over it and he kissed you on top of the head.

"I missed you too. What are you doing?"

"We have an NYPD conference training day thing next Saturday in Brooklyn, Liv wants us all to go through some things, so we know what to say if we are asked questions. You know we have to impress the Chief and show him we are not all misfits" you rolled your eyes

"Sounds fun" he said with a half-smile

"Not really, but Liv is planning a team bonding dinner after so that will be fun" you laughed

"Don't get too carried away mi hermosa, maybe when you come home we can have our own team bonding" he lent done whispering in your ear.

****

Rafael was still asleep that morning when you left. The dress code was smart casual, so you had black jeans, a white button down, tucked in and a navy dress jacket over the top with a pair of black flats. Your badge was on your jeans waist and your hair was in a high pony tail.

You had left a little early to get everyone a coffee before you all meet and headed over to the training day.

"OH Y/N, what would we do without you" Amanda gave you a tap on the back as she took a sip.

The drive over was fun. Sonny was going to meet you guys there, it was closer to his place. Fin drove, Liv sat in the front, you, Nick and Amanda in the back.

"Fin, can you change the song please?"

"No…..you need to respect the classic. I' am driving I pick the music" you rolled your eyes with a giggle

The day wasn't too bad for your first training day, a lot of information you knew, but a few things you heard were interesting that you actually paid attention too. You and Amanda were asked to do a question and answer with other female police officers and detectives from other precinct’s about how you deal with preps and victims being a female officer in one of the biggest sex crimes departments in the state.

Chief Dodds was so pleased with you both he reported back to Olivia.

"I know your SVU work’s a little different to most others, but they done a great job and answered how they should of, especially the young one, Y/N is her name right"

"They are two of my best Chief, I would be lost without them" Liv smiled over at him.

----

"Well that's a wrap" said Nick

"I need a drink" said Amanda

"We need to eat first, I'm starving" you complained

"Well let's go. We can leave the car here, it's only a block away" Liv answered

"Who's driving home?" Asked Nick

"I will" said Fin "Someone gotta control all y'all drunk asses"

"Can I throw my jacket in the car before we go?" 

On your walk over to dinner, you finally had a chance to message Rafael after being busy all day.

You; 5.35- Hey Rafi, we are finished and on the way to dinner. Hope you had fun today with your Mum, I'll message when we are on the way home. I miss and love you xx

Rafael; 5.44- I actually just got home mi hermosa. Yes I had a good day, Mami spoke the whole time about me bringing you over. I'll see you when you get home for our team bonding ;). But if you need me to come and get you, let me know. I love and miss you hermosa x

"Stop messaging your boyfriend, its team bonding night" Amanda nudged you, then linked her arm with yours as you walked.

"Here it is" Liv was standing in front of an alleyway.

"Liv we just done a sex crimes training day, and you’re taking us down an alley" You smart assed her, making everyone laugh.

“What Y/N, you don't trust me?" You laughed back, "Let’s go"

The place Liv took you guys was a hidden gem. As you guys made your way down the alley, there was a big wooden door right at the end with security standing in front of it. He checked all your ID's and opened the door for you all to enter.

"You are going to love this place Y/N, they have some of the best pasta in Brooklyn and the music is great" Sonny told you as you walked in.

There was a big dance floor in the middle and tables all around. Behind the bar as a huge fish tank filled with all different kinds of salt water fish. The host showed you guys to your table. You sat between Sonny and Nick, Amanda across from you between Fin and Liv. You guys all ordered drinks and dinner.

The night was going great, laughing, mucking around, and teasing. Cocktail after cocktail, shot after shot, the music was amazing. The last thing you remember was dancing between Nick and Amanda.

****

*Knock knock knock*

"Barba open up, Its Nick and Sonny"

Rafael was asleep on the couch with the TV still going, he looked over at the clock on the wall, it was still dark out, but he just made out the time, 4 am.

"Coming" he shouted back gruffly, he rushed to the front door and opened it. What he seen before him, he didn't know if he should laugh or be angry.

"What is going on?" he stared back at them, Sonny was holding your shoes and bag, Nick was carrying you.

"Here Barba, I have to go, Amanda is passed out in the car down stairs, See you Monday" and he rushed off.

Nick was carrying you bridal style. You had your arms wrapped around his neck and your head resting on his shoulder, snoring lightly. Rafael moved out of the way to let Nick in.

"Where should in put her?"

"Ah in bed"

Rafael led Nick to the bed room. He opened the door and walked over to the bedside table and turned on the lamp. He pulled the blankets down and moved for Nick to lay you down.

Nick placed you down and pulled the blanket up over you,

"Nick" you whispered, Rafael could smell the alcohol on your breath.

"How much did she drink?" He spat at Nick

"Between her and Amanda you don't want to know"

"Nick" you said again

"Yeah Y/N?"

"I need Rafi" you slurred.

"I'm here now hermosa, ssshhh. I'am here"

And you fell back asleep.

Nick and Rafael walked out of the room.

"Good luck with her when she wakes up" Nick laughed, "It's partly my fault, I should of stopped Amanda from feeding her shots, between the cocktails. But they were having fun. Lucky Liv and Fin left before the fun started. They didn't give SVU a good rep and I think they scared Carisi" he laughed again

"Well thanks for getting her home"

"Yeah no problems at all, I better go, we have to get Amanda home”

****

You felt like a jack hammer was going off in your head, you put your hands to your head and pushed down in hopes that would stop your head from exploding.

You rolled over, you were alone in bed, you seen the clock on Rafael’s bed side table, 11.30 am. You sat up slowly and seen that you were still in your cloths. How did you get home? You asked yourself. You got up slowly and made your way out the door after opening it.

You walked out slowly, using the wall to keep your balance. As you rounded the corner into the kitchen you seen Rafael sitting at the dining room table drinking coffee and looking through a case file. He must have sensed you and looked up.

"OH hey party girl, how you feeling?" And looked at you with a half-smile.

"I' am never drinking again Rafi" he burst out laughing "How did I get home?"

"Really mi Hermosa? Your an SVU detective"

You rolled your eyes at him

"Rafi, how did I get home?"

He giggled, "Amaro and Carisi. I heard you and Rollins scared Carisi with your behaviour last night"

"Hmmm I wouldn't be surprised, we were a bit wild, the parts I remember anyway. Amanda is bad" you laughed to yourself. “OH my head"

Rafael got up and walked over to you and kissed you on the temple. He then grabbed a glass filled it with water, opened the draw to the Panadol and popped two out.

"Take these, drink this and go shower. I'll order breakfast. Something extra greasy"

"You are the best Rafi, I'm sorry I came home so late, and well so drunk"

He laughed, "Its OK hermosa, as long as you had fun"

By the time you got out of the shower, Rafael had the food delivery waiting for you. Once you had finished eating, you were standing at the sink washing the few things you had used that morning when Rafael came up behind you, wrapping his arms round your middle,

"I think we need a day on the couch" he kissed the little bit of your neck showing over your t shirt.

"Sounds great to me" you smiled

You both walked over to the couch and snuggled up, Rafael picked some random show of Stan for you guys to watch.

[riddlehoes]

Character: Harry Potter

Warnings: None!

Summary: character looks back on the times that are relevant to her now with her then lover, Harry Potter.

I had always wondered what it was like to feel that type of love where you love that other person so much that your hometown doesn't really remind you of hone or family, it reminds you of them. And it's nice at first, until they stop loving you, and now when you think of your hometown, your heart hurts.

I was born in Little Whinging, Surrey, England. February 11th, 1981. My mom was a pure blooded witch, my dad as well. Though after 3 years at Hogwarts, it was just me and my dad.

" Oh angela, you'll be okay. I promise. You still have your dad. "

That's what Harry Potter told me a few hours after I was told my mom died in our third year. He had grown close to my parents since we started at Hogwarts. We had always lived next to him but him never being able to leave the house alone, restricted us from connecting.

" I remember when I would watch out the window and I'd see you play with one of the neighbors and you'd be doing something..." he told me as he trailed off, a smile creeping onto his face.

" you made this colorful butterfly fly around you and the girl and she started screaming and ran home. I thought you were some sort of magician. I was amazed. " He said, smiling bright. I pecked his lips then laid back against his chest.

He told me that as we were leaving for Hogwarts for our 4th year. The year we said I love you for the first time.

We were young, maybe I shouldn't have fallen as hard as I did, but I thought he was too. He wasn't.

" s-so you know me and Ginny. Well you know I um spent Christmas at the burrow since I had no where else to go- " I cut him off with an eye roll. " you could have came to my house. It was just me and my dad, it was sad. " I huffed, putting my fist to my cheek.

" Um okay anyways, me and Ginny were um just sitting in the living room, then she um fed me a pie then we um kissed and I'm so sorry. " he muttered, holding onto my hands. " Harry, if it was only a kiss and you're truly sorry then it's okay. I love you, and I know you won't do it again. " I told him, a sincere smile making its way to my face, not knowing it'll be scared off soon enough

" No, no Ange. Um I want to do it again. I want to kiss Ginny again. "

My heart dropped at his words. Completely shattered. My cheeks got red and my face was contorted into confusion.

" But me and you Harry, we're together. " I whispered, looking down at my lap. " I wanted to end it with you before she and I went any further with our relationship. " he told me, attempting to grab my hands.

I pulled them away and shook my head as tears slowly streamed down my face. " So, so you decided to tell me at my birthday dinner? " I said finally looking up at the face that usually only brought warmth.

Now it only brings a cold feeling in my chest.

" I know okay, but I didn't want to tell you in front of everyone. I didn't want to embarrass you. " he said. I looked at him in disbelief and stood up, throwing my napkin on the table.

" You didn't want to embarrass me? YOU CHEATED ON ME AND ARE NOW DUMPING ME FOR A BLOODY FIFTH YEAR HARRY AFTER FOUR BLOODY YEARS HARRY. FOUR.  " I raised my voice, the tears choking me up as I picked my wand up off the table and walked out. Not even picking up my jacket.

He did this in the Leaky Cauldron. Where we were celebrating my 16th birthday.

After that night,  I locked myself in the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle. Ginny tried to give me my jacket, but once I threatened to hex her, she just left it on my bed.

She and Harry went on to date, and are now engaged, to be married any day now. I was invited, of course. Harry still saw me as a friend, an important one at that.

" I'm Angela X- " the young boy cut me off, " Angela Xoren. Yes. You live across from me. " he told me, offering his hand. I sent him a smile and shook it, " I'm Harry Potter. "

This interaction happened sometime after the sorting ceremony, and it was our first official greeting. Other than the few glances we shared while I was outside and he was inside peering out.

" honestly kinda surprised I was sorted into Gryffindor. Mum was in Gryffindor. Dad was in Slytherin. " I told him, as he and the ginger boy ate next to me

" Both of my parents were in Gryffindor. I didn't even know my parents were wizards, no I didn't even know I was a wizard until just days ago when Hagrid bursted into my aunt and uncles hut. He explained everything to me over the next few days now I'm here. " the young boy explained. A pang of hurt thrusted into my heart as I remembered my father telling me about the boy who lived.

" My father told me about you. He didn't know your parents well, mum was in Gryffindor with them. She always tells us stories about Sirius, Remus, Lily, James, Peter, Marlene. Even Severus. " I told him, he looked at me with curiosity.

" tell me the stories about them, the ones your mum told you. Please. " he asked, more like pleaded.

We bonded over that moment, it sprouted a friendship. Long lasting, or at least... it was supposed to be.

" mum told me that Lily was very funny, very smart. And your dad was very athletic, very sweet. " I told Harry as we sat in the common room, the fire soaring in the fireplace.

" Your dad was very much in love with your mum. For many years. Then, when Lily became head girl in her 7th year she began to date james. It was truly a one for the books. " I said, his smile widened

( these next few stories are made up to make the friendship strengthen. )

" Mum was with Lily, who was really good friends with Marlene who dated my father during their 4th and 6th year. Mum and Lily were out in the courtyard, it was snowing. Marlene, Sirius, James, my father and Remus were hiding behind a snow wall of some sort. And they began to just fire snowballs at our moms. " I had to stop to let out a laugh, Harry as well.

" and so mum and Lily had to hide behind one of the stone benches, trying to dodge the um nonstop snowballs. Mum said it was one of the best days at Hogwarts. Marlene and Sirius ran over and joined them so they could attack Remus, James, Marlene, and my father. Mum said that was the first day she had truly bonded with my father. James targeted your mum, he thought that if he targeted her she would like him. She didn't, or she did. Not that she'd admit it to herd self until 7th year. " he chuckled.

" your father didn't really know anyone you said? " he asked, I shook my head and scooted back further into my seat. " He really only hung around when Marlene was with her friends. But in those two years, she spent more time with my dad, cause she thought they were meant to be. But they weren't. "

I was like Marlene in a way. I thought Harry and I were meant to be. But we obviously weren't.

As I sat down in my living room, I heard a whoosh in my fireplace and Ginny walked into my living room.

" Angela hi. " she said, smiling that bright smile. I sat my book down, and got up going to hug her. " Hello Gin. How have you been love? " I asked pulling away from the hug, and pulling her to sit on the couch.

" I've been good. The wedding planning has finally ended. The wedding is soon. Will you be coming? " she asked, my throat closed up but I nodded.

" Of course. You and Harry. Y'all have been very good friends since Hogwarts. I would not miss that special day for the two of you. " she nodded, and stared into my eyes. Grabbing my hands.

" Ange, if you are not comfortable with it I do not want you to feel forced to come. I have always cared for you, and if you do not feel comfortable enough to come I don't want you to feel forced to come okay. Just take time to think it ov- " I stopped her, shaking my head. " Ginny. I don't care what happened between Harry and I. You Ginny, you told me about how you dreamed for your wedding day since you were five. You dreamed to leave the big ginger family and starting your own new family. I will be there for you. For you and Harry. Okay. " I told her, trying to reassure her. She nodded and pulled me into a hug.

" Angela I love my family. Dearly. But it's such a big family. So many rooms to clean, so many people to feed. When we graduate, I dream to move to somewhere quiet, secluded. In a small but big house with to many rooms for all the kids we're gonna have. " Ginny told me as we sat in the library, acting like we're reading.

" Okay, I'll see you next Friday then? Hermione  is throwing me a bridal shower and id love it if you came. " I nodded with a smile, and put the dirty dishes into the sink.

I walked her back to the fireplace and handed her floo powder. " I love you gin, I'll see you Friday. " she nodded and gave me another hug, " I love you too Ange. I'll see you then. "

Then she was gone. I went back to my book as my mind wondered back to Hogwarts.

" how many kids do you want ange? " Harry asked as we sat on the common room couch, cuddled up. I shrugged as I think about my non. " My mom wanted two more kids, so I'm thinking maybe 3. She never got her three kids in her big suburban wizard neighborhood. " I whispered as he played with my hair.

" I want three kids too, my mom was pregnant when Voldemort killed her. Sirius told me before he died, that. And that mum wanted 2 more kids as well. Maybe I can live her dream. " I nodded at his words with a smile, imagining our life together. Three kids. Big house in a wizards suburbia.

Planning my future so early on with my one sided lover, was a mistake. A mistake I shouldn't have been dumb enough to make.

-

" I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride! " the minister said, then Harry kissed Ginny. A passionate kiss.

They were married, finally married.

" I never really thought Ginny and I would happen Angela. I never thought I would be with anyone else, anyone else but you. " Harry said, I nodded as tears threatened to escape.

" Harry, I love you. I love you very much and I think... I think I always will. Which is why I want, no I need you to always be happy. " I started grabbing his hands, " you are so obviously happy with Gin. So I will continue to support you two until the day I die. " I pulled him into a hug and he smiled widely.

" thank you Angela. I will always love you, you will always be very important to me. " he told me. I nodded and pulled away, standing up from the common room couch.

" I will see you after break, have a nice Christmas. " I said, and bid a goodnight.

Me, Fred, George, Luna and everyone else on Ginny's side jumped up and cheered as Ginny and Harry walked down the isle hand in hand in tears.

I hugged Fred, George and Ron who joined us.

" you good angela? " Fred asked, I nodded with a smile as we all walked out of the chapel and apparated to the venue.

Fred and I had been seeing each other for a few months, he had known of my infatuation with Harry. But he knew I could move on, that I was.

[voidselfshipp]

♡|The Shadow Under The Sun|♡

[OKAY TO RB PLZ RB WITH NICE THINGS!!]

A woman Walked down a corridor with some paperwork in hand, her pace is quick and she starts to take deepbreaths, her boots Clack when they meet the floor.

--Jerico!--juno said as the woman entered the medical bay--you brought the Papers I asked

--yep!--she said fixing her green turtle neck--oh and one more thing...the alpha team and I are taking the day off

--sure--the medic says, Sitting on their desk--but you Will have to guide the New operator coming in tomorrow

Jeri sighs-- why am I always the one that gets chosen to show the Newbies around?

--Well..agent naga and agent rascal have Zero to no charisma,agent godcell doesnt know the layout of the base and agent wonderland

--He Will flirt with the male rookies hes done that since we were kids--jer followed--Do you know if seargeant von terra has called?

--Im afraid not jer...im sorry

The woman sighs holding her necklace --I hate when he does that....

They Keep in silence for two seconds--inform Him that he needs to call me when he has some spare time ,okay?

Juno nodds--Count on it

Jerico walks out the medic bay.

--No luck eh?

--Sadly

A crow sits on her shoulder and she feeds them a sunflower seed cookie

--Look scale...its gonna be alright, ya old Man is tough...besides I heard the Newbie is a Real catch , trust me

She snorts--Sure--they start to walk to the cafeteria,--now youre gonna tell me you have a photo of him, dont you?

The crow Snickers and pulls a folded paper out of their wing--His name is Samuel Leo fisher....his codename? Zero...hes around 63

jer unfolds the photo and gasps softly-- he is very handsome...., Man my 16 Year self would love him....

--And your present self too

--Shut the fuck up before I Cook you

-- you dont have the balls to!

--Youre right cause I have ovaries

they enter the cafeteria, amani is there behind the counter,the old black woman smiles-- What y'all arguing about?

--The newbie is her type and she doesnt want to accept it ?

--Old guy with troubled past?

--Ye

--Well--amani says--im on the side of the chicken here

--see?-- HEY!

--amani give the damn food already

--You two are gonna end up togheter!youll see jer!

--aMANI!

Jerico sits to eat her lunch in silence,enjoying the quiet muttering of the cafeteria.

--Ill have to prepare the whole tour...fuck....--she munches on her food with a heavy expression.

She cant get a day off can she?

Now shes there filing some paperwork and fixing a schedule.

"And I have to wake up early too?!, oh my Elena..." she thinks closing her diary.

The woman lays on her bed as a black cat rests ontop of her chest purring.

--you were right--the cat perks up-- he is my type...bit I dont want to hear a Word of it

The cat mewls and lays their head down.

The afternoon sun comes in from the tiny Window in the room.

The Next day arrives, and jer very grumpily gets up from bed and takes a hot shower.

"Who told me that waking up two hours before the arrival was a good idea?"

She quickly changes Into her normal uniform, with that green turtleneck under it , she holds the necklace tight.

The heavy boots met the floor with a thud, a Man gets out of the convoy, with hefty steps he approaches the woman.

His breath hitches as his eyes meets her own, behind those big round glasses hid these bright green emeralds, who looked up to him with a polite smile.

--Morning Mr Fisher --her soft voice said--how did you found the trip here? If youre too tired we can pospone the tour for some hours

The Man , who for once tripped on his own words said--n no, I just need to leave my bags in my room and ill be good to go

--no need to, Sir, your baggage Will be taken to your New headquarters soon

He nodds and walks with jerico into the base.

Its gonna be a long day

The base felt huge to sam, but his mind was in another place.

Jer was explaining the same thing for the fifth time, her tone is still gentle.

--Uh mr fisher?,you okay?, do you need to lay down?--her hand presses to his arm, squeezing it.

His cheeks run red-- no no im fine...

A concerned expression plasters on her face, his hand removes her squeezing it-- im fine...lets continue

Her cheeks turn Pink, but her smile remains.

The tour ends an hour later.

--Heres your room mr fisher,If you need anything my room is 419,go there anytime youre unsure of something

Sam Leans in the doorsill, and bites his Lower lip--Will you be free later?

Jer perks up-- yeah, why?

--would you be up to eat lunch with me?

Shes taken back but nodds--Of course!, hey uh I need to go now, but ill see you at 12:30 ?

He nodds-- yeah, ill see you then.....?

--Jerico, jerico Von Terra

--Ill see you then jerico

They say goodbye and they go their separate ways, Sam was trying to calm down, unpacking his stuff.

What was wrong with him?.

He doesnt loose his cool like that ...well never!.

He sits and hides his face in his hands,she was really pretty.

She did not lose her cool when he failed to concentrate on what she was saying five times already, but her face was absolutely beautiful.

The hour of their meeting arrived quickly, and now sam was fixing his hair for the seventh time in a row.

Then he sees hes running late and bolts out of the room.

Jerico is sitting at the cafeteria...shes thinking of leaving when the Man bursts through the door, their eyes meet and jer chuckles at the loose strands of hair that fell out infront of his face.

--There you are!

--Sorry I was busy

--its okay, oh you have --her hand brushes a strand of hair out of his face--there

His cheeks flush crimson red and looks away.

--Hungry?

--Yeah, the trip left me starving

While they eat lunch they Keep silent as sam doesnt know how to go about this so he sighs.

--So...how long have you been working here

Jer smiles --Well....a long time, I started my training when I was very young...I have my own squadron, and all, I know youve been in the bussines for a long time

--Yes ive been

--Id love to train with you someday...if you have any tips so I can get better, if you dont mind

--not at all, im more than happy to help

The rest of the lunch are kept in small talk with not much detail.

Jerico scorts Sam back to his room as he seemed very lost.

--i have to do some thing still but swing by the workshop,or my room.

--ill Keep it in mind, and uh jerico?

--hmmm?

--i had fun eating lunch with you today....ill see you later

She nodds and smiles--Ill see you soon too

Jer leaves and he closes the door, he sits on his bed.

Today was one hell of a day...and it hasnt even finished.

[scarluxia]

Let's talk about some Adventures I had in Phoenix, AZ in 2015. It came up in my FB Memories and even though I determined to let everything from last decade go, this one still rankles. I got "in trouble" with these people for being open about my experiences on my Facebook because, even though I hadn't mentioned names, they didn't like me "putting their business out there".

CW for ableism, depression, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I'll try to put all that in the tags.

My partner, Loki (yes real name), and I had been urban camping in Portland, OR for about a month. It had gotten cold and rainy to the point where we couldn't safely stay living outdoors, and Loki's father (who didn't approve of me) had demanded he come back to California and live with Loki's uncle. He made it quite clear I was not welcome, so I ended up going to Arizona because I had a friend who was willing to put me up. She and I had known each other since 2008 and I figured I would be safe with her. At the time, Loki was much more easily influenced by what his family wanted, and we ended up having kind of a nasty set of conversations over whether he was abandoning me.

While in Portland, my wallet had been stolen so I had no ID or SS card. I had reported it stolen of course, but had received no response until I was leaving Arizona.

My friend in Arizona had two young sons, a husband, and a boyfriend. Now, I have some sensory issues that make it so I have a hard time being around children. High pitched noises hurt me to my bones, like, even now I have to leave the room if my son gets overly excited and starts shrieking.

I was sleeping on the couch in the living room, which was where the kids would go when they woke up and where the TVs and entertainment consoles were.

Anyway, they wanted me to contribute to the household and whatnot but I was severely depressed and I think I've provided all the context I can remember? If the rest of this doesn't make sense, please know that there was a part 1 but it came up in my Memories on a different day and i didn't think I would be rehashing it.

So I couldn't do work, couldn't do anything anyone had asked me to do to satisfaction because various things that did not, in fact, depend on me. Maybe I wasn't being enough of a ~team player~, I don't know. But anyway, I did my best with what I had. Sometimes, because of THE EXTREME FUCKING SENSORY ISSUES THAT COME WITH AUTISM, I would get overwhelmed by the kids screaming. Two little boys, barely school age, and their parents sat them in front of a TV and gave them controllers. That's it. They had toys in their room, sure, but they weren't getting outside. I suggested taking them out a couple times, but firstly, I didn't know the area and wasn't about to go out alone, and secondly, I can't split in half and I'm not in good shape, so even if I had known the area, I wouldn't have taken TWO small children outside to run around where they could run out of the designated area. I'm kind of anal that way, I guess. But Woman A (mum) and Man B ("uncle") never got off their arses to help me take them outside, and Man A was at work.

Oh, yes, parental interaction with the kids. Woman A loved her sons very much. But at their age (3 and 5), they both should have been toilet trained. They should have gotten at least two hours outside every day. They threw fits when they weren't allowed to play video games because, instead of games being a special treat that was earned with good behavior, they were toys carelessly tossed at the kids to keep them out of everyone's hair. Conversely, and bizarrely, reading to them WAS a special treat. The father woke up, played games, basically brushed off his kids, and went to work. Same when he got home for lunch, and he *ordered* us to have them in bed by the time he got home for good. The mum did somewhat interact with them, but mostly just wanted them out of her hair. I wasn't so nice because I'm not good with kids in general and also loud screeching HURTS, IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP. (Same with snoring, or any noise made when I want to sleep.) This isn't me being a ~diva~, it is an actual manifestation of a mental disability.

Woman A was of the opinion that "everyone who lives in a house with kids automatically becomes a coparent", maybe because she wasn't willing to actually parent her kids herself.

Note from the future: I still disagree with the idea that "anyone who lives in a house with kids is automatically a co-parent". Parent your own kids. I don't expect my dad to parent my son when we go visit him and he made it quite clear when I was pregnant that he would not take on a co-parenting role (because his wives 30-50 years ago had handled the babies and he doesn't really know how to calm them down beyond entertaining them)

She got a really bitchy look on her face whenever I (who have been around children, especially TROUBLED children, all my life) made any sort of suggestion. Well sorry, lady, but it's not like you're doing such a great job with them. Y'all act like you barely want anything to do with them. Like they're cute and little and fun to snuggle, but actually teaching them anything? Forget about it, just toss em a controller and hope they don't kill each other in the game or real life. Meanwhile, they have no outlet for their natural physical energy, no real outlet for their curiosity. They're going to grow up stupid and sedentary, with "no one paid attention to me during childhood except when it was convenient for THEM" to deal with. The older kid recently got on meds for a condition that, from what I observed, was likely much more nurture than nature. And what everyone ate, my God, those kids were the only non-overweight people in the house, and it's little wonder! I bought ACTUAL NUTRITIONAL food for everyone, and the adults look at me like I'm from some demon dimension. I made a light comment about how I'd never eaten anything like what they had growing up. You know, boxed potatoes, veggies out of a can, white bread, sugary peanut butter. And Woman A was like, "well YOU don't have kids."

Um, no, but my father did.

I have a kid now, am working part time at min. wage because my boss sees my performance as so-so (plus she's been forced to give me a raise every time the County of Where I Live raises the minimum), in a single-income household, on as much Family With Kids welfare as My County will allow, and I still wouldn't feed my kid that crap LOL

Spoiler alert: they made me use all my food stamps on their household and then kicked me out later that month so... When I bought food I bought HEALTHY food, like, I've been on food stamps my entire life... Also, WIC specifically pays for WHEAT bread, fruits & veggies, and they do let you get peanut butter without sugar so idk what was going on there with them.

My father was a SINGLE PARENT raising a daughter in America after 20 years of living in Europe and raising kids with his previous wives. Well, up until the divorces, anyway. I was the only kid he ever got to keep. He told me things about how the others had been raised compared to how I was raised, and I saw the outcomes of different parenting styles in my peers as well. My father was a very poor man whose trade had been outsourced and who struggled to support us for years. And yet, we never went hungry, and he never fed me boxed potatoes. Never fed me sugary peanut butter, white bread, or veggies out of a can.

Ok I understand canned veggies are better than no veggies, and not everyone can get fresh, but you CAN get frozen in AZ. I always had fresh or frozen growing up.

It wasn't because we were living in the lap of luxury. It's because...

HE FUCKING VALUED OUR HEALTH OVER CONVENIENT, CRAPPY, NUTRIENT-FREE FOOD!!!! This is not a difficult concept. He ALSO read to me every night, despite having what I now realise was a very grueling day at work just to put said healthy food on the table. I didn't get to watch TV or play computer games (edu-tainment, the only kind I was allowed) until after all my homework was done. I can't remember if I was a particularly active child, but I'm sure I had the OPTION!!!! TO GO OUT.

Meanwhile, when I was at various stages of my life, I met kids whose parents shunted them from guardian to guardian because they didn't want to deal with them, kids whose parents were kind and supportive but rubbish at enforcing discipline, kids whose parents were abusive in every kind of way, and kids whose parents did their best.

You know, I wasn't raised perfectly. My upbringing lacked social grace and included some toxic ideas about womanhood that I've only been learning to overcome recently in my adulthood. But DON'T FUCKING ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING KIDS JUST BECAUSE I DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE ANY. I have my own life, the lives of my peers, and a wonderful online community of new parents raising children in kind and socially aware ways, to draw inspiration from. I can go to any one of them, and to my own parents, and ask "hey does X seem weird to you?" And they'll give me their honest opinion, which *is valuable*. I have even mapped out a general idea of how to get through some parts of my children's lives, and I'm not even planning to have kids for at least another few years. I mean, honestly, it used to be "I don't want kids ever", but dear gosh, if I can have any part of raising someone in a manner that defies procrastination culture, entitlement culture, and everything wrong with the way my husband and I were raised, maybe it wouldn't be a complete horror. If I can ensure that not all hope for the next generation is lost, hey.

Anyway, I've gone off topic...

I also had some issues with the men. Man B just didn't seem to like anything ever. I had no idea what Woman A saw in him. I remember one time he tried to tell me, a Christian, that I can't tell people what a "real Christian" is because it ~invalidates their identity~. Excuse me, no. It doesn't work that way. There are things that Christ taught, and anyone who blatantly goes against them IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIANITY, IS NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN. And yes, I realise this entire rant has been very judgey and technically I'm not supposed to do that either, but it's not like I'm saying they're going to Hell. Just that their kids are going to be sluggish and stupid, and I can't understand how these people have the gumption to try to lecture anyone else about life when they're not even TRYING to get their own lives together.

Yeah so they tried to lecture me about how I was "letting" Loki mistreat me and how I cared more about "socializing" with my estranged husband (I have separation anxiety) than helping around the house e_e They also implied I used depression as an excuse to be lazy.

Man B was supposedly "super employable." Well, okay, even though his "job hunt" seemed to consist more of sitting around playing video games, he was larger than my father (who is 6 ft tall with a protruding gut and weighs 240 lbs at last count) (My father and I are both 60 lbs above our ideal weights. But we're working on it!), and never seemed to get past the phone-screening process.

Now, Woman A told me that Man B was looking for work and that her family and some friends looked down on him for being a freeloader. Probably because she was anxious about me thinking the same. But here's the thing: I wouldn't have cared. Honestly. If you want to sit around playing games all day in your married girlfriend's apartment with her and her husband playing video games all day, go right ahead. If you want to bake three potatoes at a time and take them back to your room for a snack, hey, more power to you. But don't piss out the window and call it rain.

I don't care how employable you are, where you live, who you're living with, or what your lifestyle is like. It doesn't affect me in any way. But don't act like you're doing something you're not just to appease someone's judgmental family. That doesn't ever end well.

Now, see, I clearly have a problem with people who do that. I don't hide many aspects of myself, though I will refuse to answer a question if I feel it's none of someone's business or if they're just asking it to be a judgmental asshole. I refuse to compromise myself or my safe space to accommodate someone who can't make peace with who they are. Hell, you know me! You know my show!

Wait, this is Tumblr, so you might not know my show. It's a YouTube storyboard dedicated to processing and mocking some spiritual and psychological abuse I've undergone in my life. On Facebook, it was one of the things I was known for at the time because I was constantly posting clips and art, and trying to recruit voice actors.

I sell anyone out who I catch lying to me about anything! That's nothing new! And these people knew that about me. For SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.

So anyway. Woman A has a lot of great short term goals but no actual follow through because "I'm just not in the mood right now." No judgment there. I've totally been there. The only problem is when it gets ME in trouble.

"Let's walk the dog." "I'm not in the mood." Okay, then the dog doesn't get walked because I can't figure out my way around the place alone.

"Let's do the dishes." Woman A doesn't let me know when the washer stopped. Okay. Then the rest of the dishes don't get washed.

"Let's take the kids outside." "No I'm too tired." Okay, then they're going to be RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT SCREAMING WHICH MY EARS CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE so bye I'm just gonna borrow your room and isolate myself for a bit.

"Let's go to the gym!" "Maybe later." But later never comes.

Do you see where I'm going here? As for the men, they BOTH complain that they're "doing too much" around the house. Okay, probably fair for Man A, who works full time and deserves to come home to a clean house. But Man B. Wtf. You literally do nothing, except when you do, and when you do, we're meant to throw you a parade? That's not how adulthood works, or so I've heard.

Note: All three of these people are older than me. I was 24? at the time, fresh out of trade school, on my own for the first time in my life. (Maybe 2nd? I ran away when I was 17 but ended up with my grandparents so idk if that counts.) Woman A was 26 at the time and had been married since 2008, had experience with office work and parenthood, etc. Both men were older than her. I was a chronological adult with the life experience of a teenager, so I felt comfortable saying that.

So did I mention that I'm sleeping in the living room during this stay? And the adults don't go to bed until like 2 AM, which means, because of my disability, wherein I cannot sleep if there's any sort of non-ambient noise, *I* don't get to sleep until AFTER 2 AM. And the kids? They come in the living room screaming at 6 AM. Yep. Okay. Living on 4 hours of sleep, for the mathematically challenged. That and dealing with the emotional turmoil of being separated from my husband when I've got high separation anxiety in the first place. All my pain, everything, it's up to 11. and I'm supposed to contribute but there's not really anything that allows me to contribute.

So what do they do? They ambush me. Call a "family meeting" to tell me absolutely everything that's wrong with me, after WEEKS of telling me what a big help I am and how grateful they are to have me around. Tell me I'm letting my "social life" get in the way of me helping around the house. Hmm. Social life. You mean, VENTING IN MY SAFE SPACE (Facebook, no names named) AND TRYING TO MEND THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND??????????????? Okay. Well since you guys treat your woman like shit, you clearly don't understand or appreciate devotion to one's spouse. Seriously. Woman A told me she used to have extreme separation anxiety with Man A, and that he would brush off her emotions as irrelevant. Her solution was to make it a poly relationship and take a lover WHO TREATS HER THE EXACT SAME WAY. I'm serious. She got no emotional support from either of them. They basically just threw pills at her and trained her to lie down until her feelings went away.

And she had the gall to lecture me (24 at the time) about how Loki (19 at the time & from a pretty horrific family) treated me. LOL ok. Log. Splinter.

As she knew, I'm monogamous. I do have some opinions on polyamoury based on individuals I've gotten to know who are in those types of relationships, but those opinions are irrelevant to this series of rants. Except one, which is pertinent: if you're going to take another lover, they should provide something that your existing lover(s) don't. If you're suffering from low emotional support and you just find someone else who doesn't emotionally support you and who treats you like a child who can't be trusted??? What are you even DOING? Like, she told me NEITHER of her men trust her judgment. What the fuck is a relationship without trust? And don't even try "dick too bomb" as an excuse when you tell me you haven't gotten laid in months and your husband is using your condoms on Woman B.

They don't support you. They don't trust you. And yet YOU'RE telling ME that things with my husband won't get better unless I follow your lead and take another lover? HELL TO THE NO. My husband has his faults, but if I tell him Person X can be trusted, he believes me.

Except for his ex-girlfriend whom he tried to add to our relationship when he tried to be poly, months later. That went Badly.

Or maybe he just knows I'll deal with them myself, with my hot, hot temper, if they turn out not to be trustworthy. He also doesn't treat me LIKE A CHILD. And while I sometimes point at things and make small motions when I can't physically talk, or sometimes even use baby talk when I'm feeling cutesy, I DON'T POINT AT A PIECE OF PAPER AND GO "THE CARRRRRR!!!!" IN AN INCREASINGLY HIGHER PITCH BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY, "Honey, I think we missed the car payment this month. Can you double check while the agent has you on hold, please?"

Okay, being a dick about losing words due to stress was not my finest moment, but at the time, I was just so appalled by how they treated her and how she allowed them to treat me.

So basically these adults who are nowhere near having their lives together, and aren't even really trying, put me on blast for not having everything running perfectly when THEY expected it to.

Let's reiterate. I couldn't get a job because I had no ID or social security card. I was waiting for them to be returned to me. I couldn't walk the kids or the dog, go to the gym, or complete all the household chores because no one would guide me. I need that guidance because of various components of my disability, which I really hate admitting to because I'm super fucking prideful, but I figured hey, she's not neurotypical either. These people will understand.

Their response when I brought this up? "You're an adult. You should know better." Sure, okay. But you should know that a child ought to be potty trained before he turns 5, or even 3; that kids need to run around, are entitled to their parents' attention and consistent discipline, and need!!! healthy!!!! food!!!!

Oh, discipline! So, she would send Older Boy to his room over misbehaving. But rather than enforce time-out, she'd go, "oh, I think I'm being too haaaard on him," and just... Relinquish. He's not about to learn anything that way, ma'am.

They called me trying to reconnect with the person I love more than almost anyone on this earth "obsessing over your social life". Well again, you treat your woman like shit, so MAYBE my undying devotion to the person I love goes a LITTLE bit over your head.

They told me that the household should be my first priority. Except no, because I am an autonomous person and my FIRST PRIORITY is, was, and ever has been the love of my life, whomever that may be at the time. That is 70% of my personality. I'm pretty sure anyone who had ever met me can vouch for my extreme devotion, and this woman had known me for SEVEN. YEARS. I'm not going to throw away 70% of myself to do an impossible task that no one will help me with.

They told me a lot of things I wasn't doing right, and for those of you who also struggle with anxiety and depression, you know that being told for weeks that everything is okay and you're so great and so helpful, and then being told that you're rubbish at everything... You know that that is hurtful. Devastating, even. I wanted to kill myself. I said that. I said that and expressed my feelings about some other things, in my safe space, without naming any names.

And even though I was posting in my safe space, I was polite about it. I was as gentle and rational as possible. I wasn't calling anyone out. Not like I am now. I wasn't trying to lead a witch hunt. I was just overwhelmed and trying to express my feelings. Trying to get myself not to kill myself. I had to tell myself over and over again that it's not what Loki would want for me.

In the morning, they woke me up and kicked me out. Said it was rude for me to say I don't care about their household. I never, NEVER said that. I said "Loki is my first priority." Something along the lines of "that's just how I am and I shouldn't be vilified for it." That doesn't mean I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IT JUST MEANS THAT MY PRIORITIES WILL *NEVER* BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS THEM TO BE. I AM A PERSON. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT TO PRIORITISE, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. MY NAME IS *SIGYN*. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES EXPECT?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOU HAVE FELT THREATENED BY ME SAYING ANYTHING IF I DIDN'T NAME NAMES AND WAS ACTUALLY RATIONAL? IF YOU SAW THIS, *MAYBE* YOU WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PISSY, BUT NOT THEN!

They kicked me out after having asked me to buy them all food. I had used up all my food stamps. Because I hadn't anticipated this at all. I hadn't known they would take such offence to my existence, to my ways. To the fact that I value the man I married more than I value... Whatever they wanted me to value, I guess.

Fun fact: I ended up in a women's shelter after this, and one woman told me to actually kill myself because she was tired of hearing me cry at night.

They said I hadn't made any effort to get my life on track. Because I can just snap my fingers and make my ID appear. Because I can just manifest the money for a replacement. They said all these things that left me almost unable to breathe, in retaliation for me posting that I was suicidal.

Later, Woman A told me that this had been a long time coming and that they were trying to make room for Woman B and Woman C, both of whom were willing to have sex with the men, which is something that I would not. I feel the first woman I met at the shelter was accurate when she said they basically kicked me out because I wouldn't sleep with them.

I also later found out that my ID and SS card had been returned to sender. The Portland PD called me and told me. So my father came to the conclusion that the people I had been staying with sabotaged me from the start. For a while, I didn't feel it, but last night I dreamed about it, and the dream made me angry. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. And I really had to get all this off my chest, so for those of you who didn't immediately whip out your tiny violins, thank you.

[jennifermbanks]

EMAIL 1# 

El Dorado Human Resources, To whom this may concern about Jaime Jackson complaint of Jennifer Banks My name is Jennifer M. Banks.  Iam here to state facts of the situation pertaining to the complaint and describe her unethical conduct towards me. 1# Jaime Jackson has spread rumors to bartenders and waitresses as they have expressed to me of Dwight Vance being my 'alleged boyfriend'.  He is NOT my boyfriend.   He has been a friend of my family for years. 2# Upon training March 9th in conversation,  she actually said to me as we were leaving work in the locker room as she changed clothes to go to Zumba ( I turned my back as she dressed), "My boyfriend and I like to go to sex clubs but we don't have sex with people like that.   We just like to go and watch".  This caught me off guard in getting to know 'work family' on day number 1. 3# I only work Saturdays 6-2 and Mondays 3-11+ and every time I have come to work she acts as if she has 'authority' over me when deciding sections and my movements around the floor.  She will even text me on my phone about where I am at when I haven't even arrived.  At first it was fine but then as I expressed, she tries to display 'authority' that she does not have over me.  I don't care about sections and am open to other waitresses being in sections.  I am still a new face and learning. 4# A few Mondays ago I encountered these things at work, ALL in the first hour I was there: a. She wanted me to serve a drink on someone else's tab (she was serving before I got there)  in my section.  After telling her, "You are welcome to go in my section to serve her."  She had a tab with the lady and I said, "I am not getting tipped you handle that".  In text messages on my phone (a week later) she texted,  "I made things complicated getting to work an hour late and the lady left without closing her tab."  It's 2 of us waitresses on the floor.  It's a Monday.  It's not the weekend when many waitresses are there.  It is not my responsibility when I invited you in the section when you already were serving her. And I was not there an hour late. I texted John when I would be there. b. There's a gentleman who likes to drink too fast within the hour and wanted me to serve him.  Prior to this she was serving him (before I came to work and while I was there, in my face) and tried to play it off.  Then minutes later explains she had been serving him and some things I didn't understand about his consumption. Later, the guy wanted me to serve him.  I asked the gentleman, "I am at the understanding you have had drinks.  Do you have a ride/driver?   He stated, "Yes, my wife is over there".  I asked his wife if she said he can drink.  She said, " It's fine I am driving (she was drinking water at a game next to him).  To be sure I asked Jaime, "What was it you explained to me again about this guy?"  She began to bicker and complain to me on the casino floor, "He has had too many drinks.  I left her mid conversation frustrated.  "Get out of my face and serve him".  She promptly went to serve him in my section and didn't give me the tip not 1 minute after this. Later when Leon came in, he explained thoroughly who he is and showed me how to handle this type of situation.  Even kept a notepad at the service station of High Limit of his intervals/time (30 minutes)  of drinking at the bar and discussed this with me as another bartender did as well.  Protocol that I recognized on the board in the area in the back as well and Jaime did not train me on.  Simple situation resolved, so I know how to handle it in the future.  (She even in text messaging  a week later said that these people were 'mad' I did not serve them but they stayed in there and I received no complaints at all and Leon served them and was gracious enough to show me how to handle it.) c. A customer was standing at the Veil bar and said', "Y'all look alike!  Are y'all related?  Y'all are so cute!" ( meaning Jaime and I). The gentleman attempted to tip us 'just cause'.  Her response," I don't know her from a can of paint.  I don't even know her last name (speaking of me).   The customer backed off with the money and I walked off. I have encountered a lot of this (meaning people thinking I am Jaime when I work) and I treat it as "Yes, we are work family" and smile politely and keep it moving. I've been in the service industry long enough to keep issues at a minimum. 5# Since coming into work if it's 2 waitresses (on Saturdays towards the end or Monday's.) I always suggest 'open floor' cause  I still couldn't tell you what sections 1-10 are. I look up at numbers (of the gaming machines/sections) all the time and maneuverability to me is key.  Every Monday I come in and she 'dictates'  me sections 1-5 and never gives me the chance to say 'open sections'.  As I have repeated before I don't care about sections and she acts as if she is 'authoritative' over me. 6# I have not had 1 but 3 text messages where she has tried to get me to cover. April 8th was the second attempt to cover for another date in June. This day I just got the Covid (Johnson & Johnson) vaccination and was experiencing side effects and said, "Let me get back with you on that.  I'm not feeling well."  The Monday after the shot I avoided her at work and did not speak to her at all due to the prior Monday's before situation (still trying to work with J & J vaccination side effects). Then after she leaves work she texts me, "I am going to switch and cover for someone so you can take this person's shift."  I was not asked at all!  As if she is going to tell me what to do! Being at work fed up and agitated,  I replied in text, "NO, is the answer to cover for this and another text NO, I will not be covering for the other date (in June) you asked before my shot.  She texted back gibberish of hiring girls and making sure I get shifts.  I am fine being part time and I finally said "Leave me alone".  She kept on texting me gibberish and I finally replied, "What part of leave me alone do you not understand?"  I, later that night, had a discussion with a bartender and  I was told, "Jaime is going around saying Dwight is my boyfriend, but someone else already told me too".  I corrected the bartenders narrative ,"Dwight is my friend".  I had enough.  I text her "If you keep telling bartenders I am Dwight's girlfriend, I will embarrass you. You run your mouth too much.  He already spoke to you about that."  Since then I have blocked her from my phone. 7#  April 17th, upon walking into work on the floor, she made it a point to cut and walk in front of me to 'make her presence known'  as I was walking on the floor to the back service area to prepare for my shift.  And, looking at the sections,  it wasn't even her section to walk around in. 8# She has also tried to make herself the victim and speak rumors/hearsay to me that  Destiny, a waitress, has said to "Meet me outside", which is 'young lingo for fighting'.  Destiny is a pleasant waitress to work with (and Jaime thinking, I am new and will just feed into other's issues of violent tendencies when I see that is not the case). I responded to her, "We are the same age, (Jamie and I ),   That girl is young and has children.  I really don't think that violence is the case because she comes to work to do just that, work." Waitresses have explained to me her 'work habits/ways' in regards of new waitresses being pushed to quit.  Her intimidation and harassments have affected me but I am remaining very far away from her and choose to have no conversation whatsoever with her at all due to her conduct. She has antagonized me, agitated me, and harassed me when I said 'Leave me alone'.  She has spread 'alleged allegations/ rumors' of my personal life that are false and still, after her coming to HR with false complaints, tries to intimidate me and push me away from working at this establishment. Thank you for your time in reading this response. Jennifer M. Banks 141765 (#work ID) JM Banks

[shhh-no-ones-home]

media mania(*) peter parker x reader

+++++++++

Okay so y'all know that tik tok trend of the girlfriend standing in front of her SO And dropping her towel? Yeah well that was the inspo for this so enjoy.

Also this takes place way in the future, after thanos and graduation, and all that other fun jazz. Think like their both college age.

* - it's implied but doesn't have a follow through. They've been together for a long time (and are trying to get pregnant to say the least)

Song: baby by carla thomas

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

I finished drying myself off and brushing out my hair before opening tik tok. I never meant to get addicted to it but It just kind of happened. As I scrolled through the 'for you' page I found a video that intrigued me. It was a lady dropping her towel in front of her unsuspecting boyfriend and her filming his reaction. I laughed at first before realizing that I had, in that moment, the perfect set up for this to possibly work. I was still in a towel and had a phone with a tik tok account on it. What could possibly go wrong? other than, possibly someone else in the compound seeing me naked but that was a risk i was willing to take.

I started recording, showing myself in my towel quickly in the mirror before walking down the hallway to where peter was. I closed the door so no passer bys would see us and made my way to him. He was sat at his desk, playing a game, trash talking as best he could into his headset. I watched the small hairs on the back of his neck raise as I got closer. When I was close enough i dropped my towel and waited, it took him a second to notice me. I smiled widely to myself as he took a quick side glance at me, realizing what was happening after a second look. His mouth hung open as he dropped his controller to the desk. I laughed, watching his reaction as well as the shakiness of my hand holding the recording phone. His mouth hung open.

"Wow."

He said, making me giggle. Then realization washed over him.

"what, You wanna do this now? Like it's time?"

He asked in disbelief, making me laugh more. I nodded and he stood up, walking towards me but getting choked by his headphone cord. He made a weird croaking sound before pulling them off. I laughed as the recording stopped. I went to post it but dropped my phone to the ground as he picked me up, draping me over his shoulder.

"Ah! Peter put me down!"

I laughed, watching the tiles disappear behind us as he opened the door and walked with me back down the hallway to our shared room.

"Peter I'm naked!"

I protested as held me tightly to him.

"You said now."

He quipped back, making me shake my head.

"We could've done it in there, then no one else would see me. You know we dont exactly have our own private wing."

I said a little panicked. We were in the compound after all, and no matter if we had our own wing or not there was still a chance patrol would be walking around. Or cap for that matter, Sam liked to take jogs around the building.

"No ones out, it's fine."

Peter squeezed my leg as he kicked the door open, walking me across the room and dropping me on the bed, making me laugh.

"You dork, what if Sam would've been out?"

He laughed a little bit.

"But he wasnt. Now do you really wanna do this? Like it's time?"

I nodded, sitting back a bit.

"So says the calendar. I was gonna ask tonight but I saw a tik tok."

I blushed madly at the thought and he just shrugged.

"Works for me."

He said, a smirk spreading across his face. I raised a brow at him before he bent down and kissed me passionately. I hummed into his mouth as he pushed me further up the bed.

"Let's do this."

°°°°°°°°°

I sat on the couch in the lounge and scrolled through my phone, watching more tik toks and answering more of people's comments on the video I had posted of Peter's reaction. It had kind of gotten crazy after i posted it a few weeks back. i didnt think anything of it but I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard the ringing of the phone. I sighed deeply before answering it, shuri popping up in front of me with a wide smile on her face.

"Hey."

I said cooly. She just looked at me knowingly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were trying to start a family? Imagine a little super baby running around!"

She said excitedly. I was so confused, and that must've shown on my face.

"Look,"

She said, pulling up a news article for me to see.

"This was posted this morning about the tik Tok you made! Everyone is saying it's about time you two get to it."

She joked and my eyes went wide. We hadn't told anyone we were trying yet. After all we'd been together for a while but we didn't want anyone to expect anything from our attempts.

"Shuri was does the article say exactly?"

She pulled it up and started playing the feed. I watched the telecaster in worry.

"Young avenger y/h/n filmed yesterday her and her long time boyfriend before getting busy. The trend has popped up on the popular app tik Tok of women dropping their towels for their boyfriend's to catch their reaction. In the video y/n's partner asks if 'its time?' confirming media accusations that the couple have been trying for a third member of their family. We have reason to believe-"

I dropped the feed, cutting him off as I went back to shuri.

"How could they possibly get that we are trying to start a family out of that?!"

I said angrily, crossing my arms over my chest and falling into one of the chairs at the table. She just shrugged.

"I don't know, but is it true?"

I sent her a look and hesitated before answering.

"Well yeah but we weren't telling anyone until it actually happened. Do you know how much pressure that puts you under? It's bad enough I've been stressing about trying anyways and now everyone's gonna start asking how it's going. And I am not ready for that!"

i watched her as she just shrugged.

"dont think too much about it. you dont have to confirm anything with anyone."

i pouted a little bit but my attention being pulled away when peter walked into the room.

"hey baby."

he said, pecking me on the cheek.

"hey shuri."

he said, sitting next to me and taking my hand in his.

"hey peter."

she said knowingly and he looked at me a little confused. i rolled my eyes.

"the news has been reporting that we are trying to start a family."

his eyes went wide and i watched a deep blush creep to his face.

"theyre what?"

he croaked out, making me laugh a little bit.

"i was kind of surprised too, i mean i did post that video weeks ago. i guess it just took longer for it to go viral?"

i asked looking to shuri.

"doesnt it always?"

she asked and i shrugged.

"well either way id better get going, brother needs help with something."

i nodded.

"tell him we say hi."

she nodded back before disconnecting the call. i looked back at peter who was just staring at the table.

"are you okay pete?"

i asked, rubbing his back absentmindedly.

"i dont know y/n, knowing that people know weve been doing that makes me feel weird."

i sent him a pity smile.

"would it make you feel better knowing it paid off?"

he looked at me and raised a brow.

"what do you mean?"

i inhaled deeply.

"well, i wanted to wait to tell you but... im late."

he looked a little confused for a second before it clicked.

"wait, like late late? like we could possibly be pregnant?"

i laughed a little bit and nodded.

"i havent taken a test yet but possi-"

he cut me off when he brought me into a tight hug.

"we could be pregnant?"

he asked again, more excited this time. when he pulled away he held my arms in his hands.

"we could be pregnant!"

he practically yelled, making me laugh.

"oh my god."

he said pulling me into another hug.

"i love you so much."

i hugged him back, kissing his neck lightly.

"i love you too peter."

he pulled away and stood up, taking my hand and dragging me up too.

"come on! weve gotta go get a test!"

he said, pulling me out of the lounge. i just laughed at him as he led us down the hall.

"peter youre gonna take my arm off."

he looked back at me but kept walking.

"time is of the essence y/n."

i shook my head at him and picked up the pace.

"goof ball."

[thelonelyrainbowguy]

The Not-Shooting at DC Pride 2019

This is the story of the shooting that didn't happen. Not because it was going to happen and was thwarted, but because everyone thought there had been a shooting and there wasn't. Why did everyone think there was? Because everyone in this country who has any sense is terrified.

We watch on the news, every day it seems, as children cry, families grieve, candles are lit, and names are recited in mournful reverence. Guns are more important than lives, because what do children matter when one needs to prepare for the rise of the terrifying libtards, crying equality and demanding that everyone has a right to basic human decency?

I was in Washington DC on Saturday, June 8th, for the Pride parade. My friends and I were having a wonderful time, save for annoyances like a broken escalator on the way out of DuPont Metro Station. We were all decked out in our brightest rainbow clothing, perhaps with more skin showing than usual, and face paint in the colors of our identity flags. Everyone we met there was queer, stoned, or both, and all were happy and having fun.

Near the end of the parade, my group of friends and I set off for a bar a few blocks away. Some of us were overstimulated, and we were all tired, but we were still happy, and enjoying one anothers' company.

Then there was a commotion behind us, from DuPont Circle, as we walked down 19th Street; we turned around to look, and first there were a few people running down the street at full speed. I thought maybe they had stolen something or been in a fight, and were running from police—-but then more and more people surged toward us.

We didn't know what was going on, but I told everyone to run. At this point, every beat of my heart screamed shooting, shooting, shooting. I expected a bullet to hit me in the back at any moment.

As they ran past us, people shouted things like guns and shooting and hearing a pop-pop-pop.

I ran behind my friends, quelling the instinct to move any quicker, because I'd be damned if I'd let my friends be shot and not be able to say I'd at least tried to protect them. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.

My friend had the same idea; she tried to get me to go ahead of her, but I refused, so we ran side by side, thrust along by the crowd pressing in behind us, until we reached what seemed a good distance away. The entire time, I was waiting for the rapid fire of a semi-automatic rifle, bracing myself for the impact.

It never came. We made it to the bar, showed our IDs, got inside, and then one of my friends broke down crying.

We comforted them, then predictably ordered drinks, trying to calm our nerves while waiting for any news, spasmodically refreshing the Twitter feeds of local news channels, calling or texting our loved ones to let them know there was a shooting and we were safe.

When we were starting to calm down but there was still no news to be had, one of the people in the group seated at the table behind us punctuated a statement with a loud, startling clap of his hands.

The friend who had been crying immediately burst into tears again. Rage flooded me, and I stood and went around to their table.

"Look, y'all need to not do the clapping thing. We have a lot of people here who just had the shit scared out of them, and loud, sudden noises aren't helping anyone calm down." They all looked at me like I was crazy, a chubby person in face paint wearing rainbows on every article of clothing, right down to the underwear—-which, yes, were showing, and yes, were intended to show.

"Oh, well, I heard it wasn't really a shooting," said one of them, as if that made it better.

"It doesn't matter! The point is, people are scared. We have someone over here having an anxiety attack. So y'all need to stop with the clapping thing." I turned and stormed back to my seat to comfort the friend who was still crying.

We found out that our friend who had gone off with someone else was safe, but that their phone was dead, so they wouldn't be able to get in touch with us from then on.

At last, NBC posted an article saying there was no shooter, just a misconception that had caused widespread panic.

We had a couple of drinks and a snack, then headed out to a different metro station than the one we'd come in by, to save us from going back in the direction of DuPont Circle. Even if it wasn't an actual shooting, we wanted to stay as far away as possible.

We got on the metro at Farragut Station and rode it home. We showered and then curled up in a tangle of limbs, on two couches pushed together, for hours. We tried to calm down, talking, telling stories, doing our best to get our minds off of everything. The friend who had left still hadn't made it home, and we tried to keep calm and not worry about them—-they knew their way around. But I think none of us really calmed down until they returned at about midnight, safe and sound.

This was my third year attending Pride in DC, but far from my first time imagining a mass casualty incident occurring. Every year, there are two targets on all of our backs: being gay, and being in our nation's capitol. It's been my biggest fear every single Pride event I've attended that someone will open fire or set off a bomb, and every time I go, I carry the knowledge that there's a chance, however slim it may be, that I may not go home.

Even before all of this happened, when the parade was in full swing and everyone was happy and no one was fleeing in terror, I was running active shooter drills in my head. I was preparing to rush at the shooter the moment they turned their back and tackle them to the ground—-probably getting shot in the effort, but who cared if I could save even one life? I was ready to die to save my friends, to save these thousands of strangers, because we are one family and I'll be damned to hell if I don't try to protect my family.

I've thought about a situation like that a lot, as a 911 dispatcher, but I've considered it more from a dispatch point of view: how many calls we'd receive, how long we'd be tethered to our consoles, listening to the wailing of people holding their dead or dying loved ones as they bled out in the street, or in the halls of a school, or in the aisle of a church or a movie theater. What if one of our personnel was shot? What if we had to listen to them struggle to speak a last goodbye to their family over the radio? What if we had to break all protocol to comfort them, and then suddenly the transmissions stopped?

On the other side, as part of a terrified mob fleeing for their lives with no information except for snatches of shouted conversation from the people running past me, I didn't think about myself. I thought about other people. I was ready to be a shield for my friends. I was ready to rush the shooter and take them down if I saw them. I was ready to end my life to save someone else's.

I don't say that to make myself sound like any kind of hero, because I'm not. I say it because you don't get through an experience like that unscathed. You're anticipating laying down your life to let your friends get away. Letting your name be written on a list of victims, chanted in a choked voice over the radio waves, or through tears across a horde of candles, burning to keep your memory alive. Leaving your friends and family with an assault-rifle shaped void where your life used to be.

The fact that all of us were expecting this to happen is abominable. The fact that we didn't feel like we could truly have one day to celebrate who we are, celebrate love, without someone trying to hurt or kill us, is sick and shameful. It speaks to the egregious lack of gun control in this country. It exemplifies our well founded fears that we will be assaulted or murdered for being who we are. But it also shows our ferocity, because even knowing the hateful, murderous climate we live in, we showed up, proud to tell the world who we are and who we love.

This is why Pride is not a party. Pride is a protest. Pride is a goddamn war. We will not be silenced. We will not be ignored. We will not die out.

And we will never, ever stop fighting for our right to be who we are and love who we love.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Unexpected Arrival -4

Pairing: Eventual Bucky x Reader, Possible Steve x Reader

Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.

A/N: This part kinda took a little angsty turn! After the next chapter, there may be a little time jump.... i havent decided yet. Thank you to everyone who is reading/sharing, it means alot!

I was cleared by Bruce, as long as i promised to take it easy for a couple of days! Bucky walked with me back to the residential floor, Evie safely tucked into his right arm as i leant on his left for a bit of support.

"Hey Buck, lets just stop in the common room for a bit. I need to eat and not be stuck in a bed for a while"

"You sure? Bruce said to rest...."

"I'll be resting just fine on the sofa, while you make me a sandwich"

"Okay, deal" he chuckled shaking his head as we walked into the common room. I walked over to the sofa and gently lowered myself down, Bucky standing close by waiting for me to get comfortable.

"I'm not sure how much rest you'll get when the team realise you and Evie are in here" he said leaning forward to place Evie in my arms once he saw i was settled "what do you want on your sandwich doll?"

"I really dont mind, id eat anything im that hungry" i scoffed as i snuggled into the sofa with Evie laying on my chest.

"Well i'll be damned!!" Came the booming voice of Sam Wilson.

"Shhhhh she's sleeping bird brain!" Bucky snapped as he playfully shoved Sams shoulder.

"Sorry! I didnt know!" He mumbled as he walked over and sat across from me "i heard what happened but i thought they were all just messing with me!!"

"Nope its true, surprise huh?"

"Id say!! She's beautiful Y/N" Sam flashed a huge grin as he looked down at Evie.

"Thank you Sam" i smiled proudly and looked over to see Bucky keeping a close eye on us while he made my sandwich.

"What are you? The baby bodyguard?" Sam laughed teasing Bucky, Sam had obviously noticed that Bucky was keeping a close eye on us.

"Try the baby daddy!" Bucky replied with a dead straight face and murder in his eyes.

"What??!!" Sam practically squealed at Bucky's reply.

"Oh my god Buck.... did you really just say that?" I laughed at him, his eyes met mine and his facade broke as he burst out laughing "im sorry! I heard Tony say it yesterday" Bucky shrugged as he walked over with the plate holding my sandwich.

"Please don't ever say that again"

"Wait.... are you serious? Or are you fucking with me?? i honestly cant tell!"

Sam said shaking his head and looking super confused.

"Language! Don't swear around my daughter!" Bucky slapped Sam on the back of the head as he passed.

"Switch please" i smiled up at Bucky before taking the plate, once his hands were free he carefully picked up Evie and had her held against his chest in no time.

"Wow..... you’re like... good at the dad thing Buck" Sam said sounding surprised.

"I had younger sisters growing up, it was a long time ago but I'm pretty sure its still the same" he chuckled.

"Wait, how long have you two...."

"You can take this one Buck I'm eating" i said with a shit eating grin.

"Thanks Y/N" he rolled his eyes, looked at Sam and shrugged "it was one time, we're not together.... but we're in this together. Right doll?" He looked at me and smiled.

"Yep, what he said" i replied trying to keep my tone steady, it hurt a little hearing how casual he made it sound. It took me back to when he had acted like nothing had happened between us  after we finally slept together all those months ago.

"I cant believe y'all have a baby!"

"Neither can we!" I said around a mouthful of my sandwich "imagine my surprise when Bruce told me i didn't have stomach flu and that i was in fact in labour!"

"Thats crazy sweetheart"

"Sure was, scariest thing I've ever been through Sammy....And the pain.... nothing compares to that!"

"But it was worth it, look what you got out of it" Sam was hovering around Evie clearly wanting to hold her but Bucky wasn't parting with her just yet.

"She was worth every bit of the pain".

Later that afternoon I was walking back to the common room after taking a shower and getting into clean clothes, i stopped by the door when i heard Sam and Bucky talking in hushed voices.

"Oh come on man! These girls are hot! You cant pass that up!" Sam was saying to Bucky.

"I don't know Sam, i don't really think me going out on a date is a good idea right now"

"Why the hell not?? Just because you got a kid now? Im sure Evie wont mind"

"Y/N's been through a lot man, i just feel like i need to be here for her and Evie"

"Buck come onnnn! they will both probably be asleep by 7pm! the date is at 8, you dont need to stay that long..."

I couldn't believe what i was hearing! I pushed the door open making sure it was loud enough that they heard me. Both men turned to face me, Sam with a huge fake smile and Bucky just looked plain guilty.

"Sorry did i interrupt something?" I asked casually as i flipped on the kettle to make some tea.

"No doll of course not"

"I was just telling Bucky about a date i arranged for him.... a double date actually. I needed a wingman"

"Oh...."

"And I was just telling Sam that i didn't think it was a good idea. I thought it'd be best if i stayed here incase you and Evie needed me"

"If you wanna go Buck don't let us stop you" i snapped turning to face them "i'll be fine with Evie on my own"

"See! I told you she'd be cool!"

I was suddenly feeling so angry and on the verge of tears all at once! I just needed to get away from them, I walked over to Bucky and reached down taking Evie.

"She needs feeding" i said simply "go on your date Bucky" i mumbled as i turned around and headed for my room.

I was sat on my bed nursing Evie with tears running down my face when i heard the knock on my door. I chose to ignore it hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and leave me alone.

"Y/N.... doll i know you’re in there i can hear you" Steve called from outside making me sigh and wipe my tears away.

"Im just feeding Evie, i'll be out in a minute"

"Can i come in?.... i can tell you’re upset sweetheart"

"Im fine Steve..." i called back but burst into tears again. The next thing i know the door clicked open and Steve came in, he pushed the door closed behind him and locked it before rushing to my side. He sat next to me on my bed pulling me into him carefully while trying not to disrupt Evie's feeding.

"You wanna tell me whats wrong?" He asked quietly as he stroked my arm trying to calm me down.

"Im just a huge hormonal mess right now Steve" i mumbled not wanting to admit what had set me off "its been a lot to adjust to i guess and i think its all just catching up to me"

"You sure thats all? You know you can talk to me Y/N.... about anything"

"I know" i nodded "I'm not even sure why i got so upset.... not really"

"So something did upset you"

"It was stupid..... don't worry about it" i told him as i sat up seeing that Evie was done feeding, i held her blanket over my chest so i didn't expose myself to Steve.

"Could you take her for a second while i sort this out?"

"Sure" he nodded happily taking Evie.

I straightened out my shirt and settled back against the bed watching Steve burp Evie. His huge hand was rested against her chest supporting her chin and jaw, his free hand gently rubbing her back.

"How do you even know how to wind a baby Steve?" I asked curiously, he looked like a pro!

"I may have done some research" he blushed a little "i wanted to know what kinda stuff needed to be done so i could help out if you needed me to"

I was suddenly crying again!!

"Oh god.... what?? Why are you crying?"

He asked starting to panic.

"That was really thoughtful of you Steve!  I cant believe you went to that effort for us... for Evie"

"Of course i did, gotta be there for my favourite girls" he said smiling just as Evie let out a little burp making us both laugh, it was the cutest little sound!

"So why are you in here crying? Talk to me" Steve said a few minutes later.

"Steve...."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with whatever the hell Sam and Bucky were bickering over would it?"

"Probably" I nodded as i picked at a thread on the blanket avoiding looking at Steve "Sam arranged a date for Bucky. I heard them talking.... Bucky said he didn't think he should go considering I've just given birth to his daughter. He feels like he needs to be here incase we need him" i shrugged "i want him to want to be here for her, i don't want him to feel like he has to.... like she's a burden to his dating life" i admitted to Steve then started to laugh at how stupid i sounded "i sound fucking crazy i know!"

"No you don't"

"I told him to go, told him that he should go on his date.... not to let us stop him, that i would be fine on my own"

"But you don't want him to go on that date do you" It wasn't a question, it was Steve stating a fact.

"No..."

"Y/N, why don't you just tell him that?"

"Because i'll sound like a crazy woman!! he doesn't owe me anything Steve, he’s not my boyfriend.... we didn't plan this" i rambled on not even sure if i was making any sense at all "yes, we have a daughter together now but that doesn't mean he has to put his life on hold. If he wants to date who am i to stop him?"

"And what about your feelings for Bucky?"

"W..what?" I asked wide eyed, caught off guard by Steve's comment.

"Im not blind doll, i see the way you are with him... the way you look at him. You love him" Steve stated smiling "and that was before you had Evie!"

"I.... i dont... shit. So what if i do huh?? Steve, it doesnt change the fact that he doesnt feel the same way!"

"How do you know that? Have you asked him??"

"Of course i haven't asked him!! But he made it clear enough back in Alaska" i shrugged.

"What do you mean?"

"if you had finally slept with the woman you loved.... would you act like nothing happened the next day?? Act like everything was normal, ignore her even. Go on dates with other women...."

"I wouldn't no"

"Exactly! There's no point in me telling Bucky how i feel because i know he will never feel the same".

"Y/N...."

"Its fine, honestly. I'll be okay, its just the hormones.... I'm over reacting" i shrugged "please don't say anything to him Steve.... i know he’s your best friend but this stays between us".

"I wont, i promise" he smiled sadly as he held my hand bringing it up to place a kiss on the back of it.

"Thank you Steve".

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Jeremiah: how'd you know that was your granny?

Me; i remember her voice. Jeremiah don't cry

Jeremiah: that's so fucked up how do you say that to someone?

Well... I remember her voice and im sure God made sure that memory was open for me. She got a real rugged voice like her life, I knew it when she said I had to apologize. Its a voice that carries all this pain from all these years. Remember she was real old and wrinkled like crispy crispy fried chicken. And her little old eyes... They were always sad and mad and all mean no nonsense and she couldn't ever hear and i hated yelling at her so she could hear so she had me write it down for her.

But her voice is like her face when she was alive, deep from the heart carrying what the heart feels, that's how. Just carrying all her life dignity and harsh life experiences.

So a little story about my mom and my granny. Denise used to live with my granny in one of them silver bullet type campers but it was real spacious. She used to live there with granny to keep her ass from jail. Granny was the only one that could ring her up by her neck like a chicken and beat that ass.

One time we went to visit in about 1985 and Denise went in there and stabbed her with an ink pen right in the foot. I remember that iodine they used to clean and heal it up with all on her skin. And the bandages.

Denise did it right in front of me cause i went out there and Denise was taking off ber top all "my granny gonna give me a bath" and my granny looked scared.

Mind you id already drank bleach watched my twin brother murdered in front of me abd bypassed death multiple times So i knew by looking in grannys blue eyes she wasn't about to give no one a bath.

So i looked all in the small trailer and told her "there aint no place to take a bath. There aint no tub. What in the sink? You're way too fat to"

"Well fine I'll wash the dishes" took a pan and knocked my granny out cold! I ran to get my dad and I felt i didn't run fast enough by the time i got back my mom was all trying sex shit on my granny who was knocked out. So i went outside and screamed on the top of ny lungs and everyone came running then.

They dumped granny in an old wash tub in the yard. Old silver one y'all rich people use to feed your calves and horses in. And woke her up and i was all satisfied cause I got to wondering "where does she bathe?" Well in the big house of course but they only had a shower there. So i was all "now that's a bath" the rest of the summer i used it for my bathing tub and my swimming pool and we made a mud pit to wrestle my cousin in. Girls against girls and boys against boys my granny said. Till i won all the girls at least twice then she said i could wrestle the boys. With my clothes on of course. Kyle was the only one that could beat me of my cousins. Now he is gangsta thug through and through. Big as Hell and i know I'd be a dumb bitch to start with him but he ain't nothing but a big ole teddy bear to most. Still would not cross him a bit. I beat a few of my uncles, too. But to be fair i was pretty wiggly and we were in some real wet slick mud from my tub overflow and swimming with the girl cousins and the boys splashing during their turn. And a bit of sprinkle instigation from my granny spraying us down to call quits and to hose those beat down so they could go play safe.

So that night i was hiding in my moms old bed with granny in her little house and my uncle all dumb came with my mom, not knowing what was to happen. Well my mom told little old Shane to beat it and my mom was all trying her Sins again and she kept wiggling at the curtain and all so I crept up to the corner and peeked around and Denise said "why is she in here?"

Granny said "well you didn't even know she was missing"

And so Denise punched her right in the eye! So i jumped up and knocked down the blue and green and yellow paisley curtain to separate the bed space, thankfully I jumped and it didn't heat me full on the head and i started screaming full on hoping my uncle was close enough to hear.

He was But he ran in the big house to get my dad and his dad and anyone else.

I was standing on the curtain when Denise stabbed my granny with the blue note pen we were using to talk with. And stabbed my granny right in the ankle space above her foot and under the calf.

Then she came for me so i ducked in that small 5 feet of space that the kitchen covered, yanked that pen out my granny and went towards my mom and she ran for the door, the fat coward. So I stabbed her right in the left shoulder blade like a boss bitch. I was 4 years old.

"Well you little" she spat as she turned with eyes only the Devil himself would be fond of. I was fucking exhausted fighting all day and being in the mud and all and i had been sleeping so i got pissed. I wouldn't done that shit she stayed in the big house like she was supposed to.

So i took that pan granny put in the drawer, a good 9 inch iron skillet only God could made and I started beating the shit outta her. Right on the left side of the face first then she fell all fake and i kept beating her then she started biting my granny!!! Right about then the door flew open and my little uncle that had just been out was there and he said "they're coming" i saw relief on my granny i was all "no i got this, shut the door I don't need the whole house seeing this"

But i seen a pair of old man grandpa hands that been working the prison for 40 years reach in and grab those fat ankles and pull her out and im yelling and beating her the whole time. "Hey! What the Hell are you doing?! I ain't finished! Shit and Fuck! Get back here you dumb bitch ---"

And i looked up in the dark and saw nothing but my grandpa's bright blue eyes twinkling in the low kitchen light "Well finish"

"I... Uh.. Let me get the pan!" I was plum confused "are you sure? I can for sure kill her"

"As you wish" and he gestured toward my mother's body. She was wrestling to wake up and grandpa put his bare foot brave to walk in the desert valley of Arizona square on her back and i told him hold on to the door so he didnt fall and i went wailing on her till my dad came and i looked at my dad with that iron pan in both my hands held low at my hips "but I'm not finished"

Oh grandpa just started laughing so hard he could barely stand i was glad he held that door cause for sure he would fallen. And grandpa said "ah just let her"

"Alright!!!" I started to begin wailing again "oh can i dad?" I was a perfect child, always getting permission from adults to murder. Still do. Still do. Except for here and there in My teenage years. "Oh and someone got to take care of her!" Cause my dad and grandpa were wondering if i was finished cause i was covered in blood. And granny was yelling "no its me! Let her finish!"

So my dad went in and left to get some bandages from the house. Cause she was squirting blood all over. And dripping and her tea towel (hand towel) was soaked nearly full of blood except the corners.

Granny hollering "I'll be fine! Let her finish!"

Y'all see me in this old lady? Genetics baby, i got the good ones.

So i started wailing harder than ever on that old beast. Im only four and that iron skillet was heavy and i been done using my muscles for the day already. But i got fueled for seeing that blood and i kept on the back of her neck till grandpa said "woah what's that pen doing out her back? Did you do your granny too?"

My mouth dropped open "no sir"

"Alright then finish" just like a prison guard he told me.

"Well yes sir where shall i hit?" My granny had been teaching me old fancy words and styles of speaking from "the old South" all day. Kinda testing me. She would say a sentence like "shall I order some tea?" And I had to guess what she asked "oh can you" and I would write "can" and she would say what kinda can? She would show me green bean can and i would shake my head no.

"Well you can hit her in the legs so she can't walk and do this no more"

So i hit her square on her lower ass "the top of the legs! The middle! The ankle, the calve!" I went up and down shouting anatomy I looked up at my granny and she looked tired with her head down so i yelled "oh fuck! Is she alright?!? Dad is my granny--?" And she waved her hand at me my dad was looking up at me, his eyes full of pain, sadness and glistening with humor and admiration. My mouth fell over "are you" and i stumbled towards him and granny waved me off again and i seen she was laughing and she sat up heehawwing all kinds! Then put her head down. Grandpa was shaking the whole door with his laughing nearly shaking it plumb off i was afraid. "Now what were you doing when i was shouting anatomy? Your face was different" i hit that ink pen in further about all i could muscle up seeing everyone was alright.

"Anatomy? Billy where she learned this shit from? I know shall and sir was from her but anatomy?! What? Go on you can hit again"

"Oh Idk i guess Denise"

"Yeah that bitch be hitting me if i don't help her study right. Don't you?" I grabbed her by the back of her bloody head and looked in her face and dropped both her and the pan "oh my God, that's gross. She about to stink"

She was dead.

"Now we gotta do CPR" said my tired dad

"Now you hold on! Now this is MY house! Sabrina you do the CPR" i helped him flip the bitch over "now Billy you stay right there. Sabrina now you jump on her chest! Get to starting!"

"But i don't wanna!!!!"

"Now come on I'll help you. Well hold hands, you know how to take a life dont you? Now you gotta earn your path and make sure you know how to restart one too! Now come on! Don't run!"

Dam I tried not to learn that lesson and dam if it hadn't stuck with me all these years. 4 year old kid me learned some real stuff back then in 1985 but here in 2019 i learned the rest of my path. Sometimes it's alright to let me finish and run off. Now me and Jesse are in a fight because he disagreed with me, i got real mad and some new friends questioned my judgement. But they understood after a nap. And i still ain't friends with Jesse now. Cause it ain't about death with him its the fact he still wants kr to suffer. So I'm glad my granny is back Because she aint that way. My grandpa is here, too And he sure is sorry. He died of cancer. My Granny just cause she was old lonely and had a broken heart. And Jesse better watch the fuck out cause hes the liar, not me. He got me mad. Done sent two people to kill me in Santa Fe and some bitch tonight all talking about hiding on my porch with a gun. I told his bitch ass he better be in a bullet proof vest cause ima shoot his face with it. He got scared m i told him he better start running and jesse was all she's too fat to chase you!! For real. My legs work. Today in 2019.

So now i listened cause my dad yelled but my granny said "let her run!"

But I listened cause my dad always protected me so if it was me I'd want CPR probably

And we had a discussion about it. And grandpa said "you want me and your dad to do it or you want me and you?!"

"Me and you, i guess. If someone's gotta do it better be Me, sir i got it" i grudgingly climbed on my moms fat where my grandpa gave me a tight hug and made my sadness disappate.

I tried to run again "now come here!"

"Awh! I thought I'd get a hug and that would be the end!"

"Is that what your mother do to you?"

I started all crying trying to explain.

"Never Mind ill call the ambulance"

My dad did and my dad said not to jump and put my feet where they should go and i just moved up and down real soft a bit once the ambulance lights turned the corner.

Grandpa said to take granny first although she was hurt a bit and said Denise was going to through coroner and the EMT argued "we are here to save a life"

"Then save her!" He pointed at me, "SHE did this Cause her momma, this one" he pointed at the ground "has been attacking dear old granny all day! Now call the coroner! I would say im sorry! But im not! Now call it up use the phone! Go on and do it!"

"Sir let me remind you you're not the sheriff!"

"then call him!!"

"Im glad I'm not in prison because now I can see why you work there youre scaryyyy"

"Did he make you do it?!?!"

"He stabbed my granny with a pen? No she did!!!!"

Granpa was all "whoa! Now she knows consequences of actions and you're standing here arguing and i got one bleeding to death, a little one all nervous and a dead body! Are you here to save a life or what not?!?!"

"Yes sir. Let me get in there to old granny but move her" finally he looked down "oh she's dead. Im sorry sir"

"Well i ain't!" My grandpa was loud granny laughed.

"Y'all are about as sick in the head as i ever seen" the EMT tried not to laugh

"Well you see a grown woman trying to rape your granny! That was her mom and she got her and i sure aint sorry it's about the 5th time today I had to get onto her about behaving!" Then grandpa's voice got quiet and gentler "now this one!" And he picked me up and carried me "now im going over to the tractor!!" And he put me up high on it and told me he was hiding me and I could run if i wanted, no one would ever catch me.

I didn't. And i was told to tell only what Denise had done to my granny. And i had won at muscle wrestling all day in the mud and i was in there sleep to protect my granny And i did. To the fullest extent of the law.

Unfortunately they sent the fat old bitch to the hospital and got her dumb ass back to life. Unfortunately I didn't beat it into her brains well enough... Cause now 34 years later.... Denise hasn't changed.

We should just put her in the field and ran her over with the tractor for the horses to eat and the dogs.

Its made me wiser to the world around me. Smarter than i can stand, until i want death myself because there's no end to misery.

But I've learned that i can't kill them all. So days that I get the good old dead back relieve a misery that i cannot stand that I see in so many people.

And those life lessons I learned all those years ago at the tender age of four have always stuck with me and have changed the world m from Iraq to Afghanistan to the good old USA. And they will continue to. And even in London.

And that's my promise given to me by the dead that they intend to keep.

So lately I've been thinking about Revelations in the bible. It keeps me happy to think one day (hopefully soon) all the evil will drop dead and all the good ghosts can once again have bodies they can keep. That keeps me healthy and "mentally sane" as they call it.

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good