#today's case: saved me a whole bunch

[faeryaesther]

Experiencing a lot of firsts, Jannik Sinner is in his first US Open final, making it his only second throughout his career, after overcoming Jack Draper in the semifinal.

[mins-fins]

beyond the moon !

"you aren't about to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby".

synopsis: breaking news: the worst possible person you know is actually more than half decent in bed. of course, it's an easy slam dunk. you will begrudgingly admit that jaemin is pretty nice on the eyes—even if he has the personality of a barbed wire. it's a match made on this soul sucking earth. it's only a little perfect.

pairing: na jaemin x male!reader

genre: alternative universe, main hospital scenery, somewhat grey's anatomy fusion, interns the fic, strangers to rivals to rivals who hookup to friends who hookup to lovers, fluff, some angst, slightly suggestive tones, humor, crazy ass pining that's barely realized until 10k words in, some background relationships that provide other drama

warnings: swearing, explicit language, so many mentions of sex, almost tiptoes into borderline smut like five times, sexual humor, reader and jaemin are both equally emotionally underdeveloped and horny, drinking, the impending stress of the medical field, mentions of death, a bunch of medical jargon you probably don't care about, mentions of surgical procedures, some blood.. i think thats it

word count: 16.7k

notes: hello, merry christmas, happy one year anniversary to my hyuck work which started my whole nct saga on tumblr.. im afraid i am very mentally ill 😓 so!! surgeon jaemin!! originally surgeon jaemin was a serial killer but then i lost wave of that draft over the summer and i tried to do it again 😚 this was half based on early greys anatomy because why the fuck is that show so long and um my own life lowkey?? ofc im not sleeping with my fellow interns but i have seen too much of a hospital i have begun to see the white corridors in my fucking dreams.. save me please life has not treated isa mins-fins well 😭😭 and NO dont listen to user junjiie this is not a self insert i swear!! im still going to the hospital later today soooooooo i lost anyway 🤷‍♂️ lowercase intended as usual and last long work of the year 💖

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 1: do ethics matter when the dick is good? (hyperbole.. actually not)

frankly, it began on a mundane tuesday.

well as mundane as a tuesday for you could be, a week following getting dumped would typically be dedicated to mourning but guleum grace hospital is equally as busy each particular day. you did not underestimate the sheer amount of regular patrons at hospitals, your internship was all about that in fact, pouring your blood sweat and tears into some amateur surgery you had about a twenty five percent chance on performing correctly, however, any chance was any chance.

it isn’t as if you were some lunatic brisked with insanity who valued his work in an irregular fashion, you’d surmise that you were a regular workaholic, the epitome of an overworked medical student stereotype, it all sucked the soul out of you, though your scrubs remained spotless and the eye bags stuck in a much acquainted manner.

unfortunately, your heart attack inducing student debt won’t allow for you to simply quit, neither will your pride, your extent of competitiveness, and your bright need to prove your overbearing parents wrong.

getting into a deathly inviting internship program is enough, what’s shit is surviving, and surviving would be easy if not added on by such a nuisance.

what nuisance? you may ask, well the nuisance that so happens to b—

“present the case l/n”.

you somehow retain your sigh, if the distress is displayed through any means of visibility then doyoung merely doesn’t give a shit. “uh— samuel lawson, fifty two, has been in and out of hospitals four times in the last three months with complaints of sporadic, mild to moderate pain in his chest. we picked up on a heart murmur and his echo showed left ventricular hypertrophy with a repolarization abnormality”.

“what would you recommend?”

“the best course of action is to replace his aortic valve with a porcine valve and prescribe anticoagulants to improve the prognosis”.

“good, and why do we want to pay attention to his kidneys in this situation?”

“his kidneys?” you echo, former exhaustion manifesting in the unscathed widening of your eyes. there’s a whistle, lee donghyuck opting to feign forgetfulness to your very presence, as if he even knows the answer.

you aren’t as easily absentminded, you’ve been hard of thinking recently, read all those printed words yet none of them stuck to the confines of your brain. there’s then a sigh, you initially assume from doyoung, but of course it isn’t.

“ah dr na, how kind of you to join us, perhaps you could remind me of the answer?”

arms folded over his chest, jaemin doesn’t miss a beat. “since his heart isn’t functionally effective his kidneys work as a compensatory mechanism, we’ll need to take increased renin and aldosterone secretions into account when considering general anesthesia and how soon he can go into surgery”.

“i see somebody has been doing their homework” you graciously avoid his eyes, glowering in jaemin’s direction as he offers a meager eyebrow raise. “good job na, you’ll definitely be scrubbing in”.

you pray for his early death.

it’s a seamless lesson whilst interning, competition is everything; you love competition, you live for it even, and na jaemin just so happens to be the nuisance which troubles your every week.

it’s something to even survive your first year of interning, let alone in time for when the seven year residency rolls around. only the best become surgeons, a perfectly manufactured system that is definitely not flawed and has most likely not been the cause of many related mental breakdowns.

you’ve had some undisclosed issues out with na jaemin since the beginning of your program, his awareness manifests in his knowing glances, if swiping cases from under your feet and making your life as hellish as possible is equated to diverting entertainment, na jaemin is elated. at least he has the familial connections to ensure the acclaim, the regarded son of na kiwoo, one of the most well revered orthopedic surgeons in the country. now you aren’t petty enough to spew the claim that na jaemin is bad at his job, he isn’t, however, you are petty enough to state the fact that him getting extra time to redo the practical board exam would’ve never been granted to anybody not with the same fucking last name.

and you suppose somebody else could also reign as worthy competition, but you’re conceited, unabashed in the likeness of your own smarts, you didn’t brave the trenches of medical school to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby.

~

it’s about half past twelve when huang renjun stumbles into the on-call room.

“you drinking on the job?”

he glares, you smile, there’s something concerning his anger which gets a satisfying kick out of you. you were sat at a desk, overloading on coursework you’d give not even a mere glance toward once you got home, the placid diagrams of human arteries burned into your brain. you spent most of your day, resounding to most of your shift, hanging about downstairs in the E.R, handling skimpy stitches from those who couldn’t help but do something idiotic on a saturday morning. who knew? you’re aware dr. kim probably holds a much lowered opinion of you; however, you still preserve hope that he’ll allow you to scrub in on that upcoming LVAD replacement he has scheduled for later in the week.

“can you believe who got to scrub in on that corpus callosotomy?” his undertone indicated irritation, you did not have to take a glance backward, you could distinctly picture the snuggle frown tugging at his lips.

“can i buy a vowel?”

your response earns a hefty scoff, the ghost of a smile lingers as you take in his much visible exasperation. it appears he wants to look intimidating, but his docile like features do not sell such a point home. “kim wonil, can you believe it!?”

“oh really?” you click your tongue, the raise of an eyebrow paired with the raise of a nearby head, it’s lee jeno’s, you make out. “wow, maybe i should start sleeping with mark lee too”.

“well it’s not like anyone knows if they’re sleeping together— he’s basically just his protégé” what a gentleman lee jeno is, feigning unawareness at the whole thing.

“uh huh, me when i’m fucking the only attending neurosurgeon” you seethe. “seriously, you think he’s taking any under the table offers?”

“you’re an asshole”.

you simply blow renjun a kiss.

whilst renjun may be adamant on the whole civilized pursuit, you would say that sleeping with one of your bosses basically equates to getting favored treatment, you suppose your wavelength on that won’t ever change. “is that coursework?”

your eyebrows raise once renjun leans over your shoulder, you don’t make an effort to nod your head. “that’s coursework, what the fuck are you doing?”

“i’m not about to have a splitting headache at home, trying to keep my sanity intact, you know”.

“more like wither your sanity— oh, hey jaemin”.

“hi” jaemin allows renjun the decorum of a smile, because for some reason renjun is the only other intern he has the gall to treat in the manner of a regular human being. he settles in the bed across from you with a look and doesn’t even try a glance in your direction, muttering a small greeting to jeno.

“do you want ibuprofen? i have some in my locker” renjun mutters softly.

you wave a dismissive hand. “no, i’m seriously about to max out on painkillers right now”.

“maybe it’s a tumor” jaemin unexpectedly adds, he doesn’t look up from a book.

“you wish”.

“i do”.

“it could be a caffeine headache” jeno helpfully reckons from where he is across the room, leaning up on his elbows to give you a sympathetic look.

“or the stress” renjun decides. “or your just sleepy because of the stress, i’m getting tired because of the stress” he then makes his way over to the dormant bed and flops right onto it.

“tumor~”.

“why the fuck do you care?”

“i most certainly do not”.

“drop dead asshole”.

“guys..” jeno weakly begins, glancing between you two as if silently picking a side.

“sorry” you feel little remorse towards the tumor hopeful fuckface, simply for everybody else. “the exhaustion is making me mean”.

it appears that a nearby zhong chenle utters the insult of you’re always mean somewhere above you, and then the room grows claustrophobic for you in about five more seconds.

when your chair emits a high pitched screech, renjun’s head rises. “where are you going?”

“gonna find something to do”.

then you shuffle out of the on-call room, feigning ignorance at na jaemin’s continuous stare.

~

later that week, the one person you observe when you walk into the on-call room on wednesday for your mid-shift nap is na jaemin, the current bane of your existence. you’ve been bumping shoulders in the O.R for the past week, and you’re beginning to think that the world is attempting to kill you early, those mystifying forces rambled about in storybooks manifesting whenever his name happens to appear in your mind.

you pause once you step in, meeting his eyes for a charged second before clenching your teeth, they’ll probably begin bleeding soon. you starkly consider backing out, but you can’t surrender your pride to this guy, that would be letting him win, so you sigh and lean your back against the door.

“i’m just here to sleep,” you voice. “waving my white flag”.

“you should be thanking me”.

you’re baffled. “excuse me?”

“i’ve saved your ass like twice this week, god kim would’ve literally eaten you alive if i weren’t around”.

your mouth dries up, jaemin seemingly revels in such a factor, swinging his legs sideways and out of the bed. “you’re terrible under pressure it’s a wonder you even made it through medical school”.

your left eye twitches, the one singular time you try to be civil, he just— he just decides to..?

“you’re so infuriating and arrogant and selfish—“

“oh really? love it when you talk down on me..”

“and you’re so— annoying god why does everyone like you? i hate you, hate you and your stupid privilege and i couldn’t care less what you think because you’re a fucking suck up! stop backing me up if it makes you so mad”.

jaemin then blinks, slow. “finished now?”

“yes” you drop your arms at the side, breathing having gone shallow as pure fury swirled in your ribs. you hate what jaemin does to you, whatever the fuck this is and why is the rooms temperature skyrocketing? that should be impossible in a hospital of all places, but you shouldn’t give it much thought because jaemin will probably begin over analyzing the singular movements of your facial expressions.

you hate feeling like you’re losing, you feel like your losing even if there’s no prevalent competition, it’s just.. jaemin.

that’s really why.

“good” jaemin replies. “i hope you don’t mind”.

and when he pushes you up against the door you think exactly three specific things in the second it takes for him to do that. 1; jesus this guy goes to the gym how the fuck are his forearms so huge? how is he finding time to hit the gym with such a consistent shift? 2; you should’ve gotten more words in cause oh he got the last laugh, and 3; you suddenly remember you never followed up on that post-op for patient 3109– but then all of those thoughts fly out the window when jaemin leads forward to kiss you.

na jaemin is kissing you, full on lips, hands-on-your-waist kissing you, and all you can do is suck in a breath as you then release a soft sound.

jaemin is ridiculously good at this, all soft despite his rough edges, how funny. he pulled off, taking your bottom lip with him before diving back in.

“i meant everything i said” you pant, even as jaemin pressed you further into the door and your arms wrapped around his shoulders in an effort to continue. you exchanged in a similar manner, frenzied and practically leaning half of him backward with your sheer force.

“i know” he grunts, so effortless in all he does, thumb finding the gap in your uniform which he very much decided to exploit. “but you want me anyway..”

“fuck you”.

so smart y/n, you’re getting into heaven with that one—

he chuckles as he mouths against your neck, light open mouthed kisses along your jaw, tugging at your shirt which acted as an obstacle. “that’s the goal”.

“smart ass”.

“well..”

it was the first and only time.

it actually should’ve been the first and only time, but then again, your decision making is particularly fuzzy.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 2: he’s a hotshot, so unfortunately a hotshot..

you’d been skilled enough to pick out your friends at guleum grace hospital on your first day. frankly you had met a good chunk at the intern mixer the hospital had held a week before you were all due to start, but you were the slightest bit nervous with the whole before day apprehension. lee jeno was an easy one, his timidly boyish attitude made for good company, smile replicated by his eyes as he hung around the refreshments table. he laughed at every single one of your jokes, he was sympathetic to your family predicament, much too familiar with such a thing.

lee donghyuck was similarly not a struggle, he seemingly mirrored many of the traits you found stuck to you and carried around throughout your turbulent adulthood. he clung to your side and assigned you the duty as his titular “person”, whatever that meant.

then there was huang renjun.

it isn’t as if he was unapproachable, per say, he was simply perpetual to consistent avoidance. he exchanged regular smiles yet didn’t divulge any further, somewhat unfriendly and argumentative, especially when donghyuck got on his nerves.

trivially, the only true reason you two became friends is because you assisted him in vomiting up his guts after he’d got a lashing for a mistake in the earlier days. your hand remained on the small of his back for the entire fifteen minutes, and when he finished unleashing his true extent of vulnerability upon you, he threatened you to keep your mouth shut, that threat just so happens to be the bow which ties the knot to your relationship.

renjun is able to refer to the patients as the human beings they are, sensitive and overly stubborn sure, but he’s decent under all the sour looks paired with plentiful insults.

zhong chenle? in a completely different league.

“fifty bucks y/n’s little conquest works at this hospital” he opts to enter, sliding into the spot beside you and exchanging a few looks as if he dumped his life savings onto the table for you to gorge on.

“fifty bucks my wha— how’d you even..?”

“aeri likes to gossip” chenle replies, full of cheek. “and a little birdie told me they saw you leaving the on-call room all flustered”.

“a little— who?”

“i can’t tell you my sources”.

“what if i just had a really good nap?”

“thirty bucks it’s an intern” renjun decides to add on, and you blink his way in sheer betrayal. yes they’re right but you didn’t divulge your weeks ago on-call room hookup story time to anybody, you just.. thought about it.

“that’s what yizhuo was saying! you know we have a bet right?” he digs through his pocket before pulling out an unscathed piece of paper. “let’s see we have dr suh from plastics, yeonjun, dejun, and our very own nepo baby na jaemin, pretty good don’t you think?”

“why is jaemin on the list? take jaemin off the list,” though you swipe for the paper, chenle’s got some fast ass hands.

“no no hear me out, okay? he has my vote because the tension is undeniable but i’m on your side and i don’t think you’ll give into his whims”.

“what whims?”

“his seduction tactic including starting petty fights?” renjun recalls, blinking in your direction as if attempting some newly discovered form of communication. “he probably gets off on that..”

“oh he does!”

and then they begin, you simply sigh as you make the effort to finish your lunch, acquainted with the leftovers you again had to heat up because there was little time for you to actually cook something new.

“jaemin’s a freak, wonil said—“

“we can’t trust anything he says, he’s literally fucking dr. dudebro” you steal a fry off chenle’s plate, humming along with your bite.

“i thought they broke it off?” renjun asks in denial, though his gleaming ‘i knew it’ look would completely beg to differ.

“oh come on! everybody knows they’re still fucking, no mystery, no thrill”.

renjun crinkles his nose at the display of crudeness, you don’t forget to recall the thirty bucks he entered into this godforsaken betting pool. “can i kill him?”

your hands raise in mock surrender. “not in front of me, we swore an oath of peace” you rise from your place and keep your plate in your bag. “besides there’s no mystery, no thrill”.

“don’t leave me with him!” renjun squeaks. “where are you going!?”

you do not let up the walking, however, you allow him at least one reassuring smile.

“to see a guy about a thing!”

~

in a rare act of perfect timing, you’re just able to sprint to the elevator as soon as it’s closing. by the power of the universe’s most evil, jaemin is the only one inside, and he blankly stares as you hold your folders out to hold the door before ducking in. you hit the button for the sixth floor and begin panting as you lean against the wall.

jaemin barely spares a glance, but his smile says everything. “back for more already?”

“did you tell anyone about us?”

he opts to chuckle at that one. “us? we sleep together once and you’re already thinking there’s an us baby?”

“shut the fuck up, na, like half our class is in a betting pool for when i’m going to let you into my pants so i swear to god if you told anybody i’m going to ship you to the O.R and harvest all of your fucking organs”.

the threat shines brightly above him, smile shimmering. “i’m sure you’d love to do that”.

his smile is endless and the point by which his stare begins is simply dark, it’s that stupid dead-eyed stare that could murder anyone just by one mere glance. if looks could kill, your insides would’ve been splattered all over this elevator currently.

finally, jaemin rolls his eyes.

“christ, relax, no i didn’t, i definitely don’t know anything about a bet either”.

you let out a much needed breath and again allow yourself to lean against the wall of the elevator. the only worse thing than people thinking your friends with jaemin is people thinking you’re actively sleeping with jaemin. well— okay you suppose there are worse things to be known for but being pegged as the intern banging na jaemin is definitely up there.

“i meant what i said by the way, that was a one time thing”.

“of course”.

“stop fucking smiling like that”.

it appears to be his innate need to ensure your irritation, his smile barely resists the clear urge to grow at the sight of your frown. “god, thought you liked my smile?”

“it’s never happening again” you insist. “no more sex, not with you anyway”.

“great” jaemin replies. he finally does turn to face you. “so when you say never again are you actually making a definite final decision or are you simply playing hard to get?”

“what do you think?” you retort, you’re two floors away from your destination, the lab reports you’re clutching much vicely resulting in sweaty palms.

jaemin licks his lips, all high and mighty. “i’m sure you don’t want to know what i’m thinking”.

you look up to meet his stare in a singular effort to glare equally as hard, it’s futile. jaemin’s got the eyes of a predator, as if he’ll pounce if you attempt a single move out of this elevator, it’s striking, his eyes trail all the way up from your terribly expensive shoes and up your body, stopping at your mouth.

he seems pleased with himself, tipping his head forward when the elevator dings at your floor.

you allow a squint, briskly leaving him behind. it’s only three steps out of the elevator that you realize you left him without an answer, therefore leaving him with the last word, but you conclude you’ve walked too far to shout, yet it seems jaemin has no qualms.

“you know where to find me!” he calls.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 3: good sex is addicting! healthy? eh..

naturally it happens again..

and again,

and once again.

if you were in a better place of mind, perhaps if you didn’t contain loads of work on your shoulder and slumped with courses of continuous caffeine, you’d find the right mind to chide yourself for making such a stupid decision, but you’re simply a selfish and desperate man. this is like— the best sex you’ve had since undergrad, not that there were many good examples to be the judge of that one anyway (with little offense given to shotaro, he’s a sweetheart but you two barely ever got it on as it is).

the thing is, you’re beginning to have a little fun with it. sure, you’d felt as if you were betraying yourself after the second or third time but it’s now become its own little adventure. sneaking around and whispering in the hallways in tandem with disappearing into random storage closests is fun.

jaemin is merely jaemin when it’s all over, barbed wire esqe jaemin with a personality you’d liken to some miserable children’s movie villain.

but it works, it isn’t as if you’re doing this because jaemin has a to die for personality, you’re doing it because you’re stressed, despite the fact that he is probably the main contributor of such stress, he at least helps you relieve that stress.

“somethings up with you,” jeno makes apparent when he walks past the couch, casual, conversational.

droning on the television is some nature documentary you don’t recall turning on, acting as background noise as you observe the surgery dr. kim assigned you. you technically aren’t allowed to bring your work home but you’ve also always enjoyed poking holes into rules, you bring your teeth down on a goldfish cracker that you’ve had between your fingers for about five minutes.

“what?” you finally reply.

“you seem different” jeno rewords graciously. “brighter, less.. porcupine-y”.

“i can be mean if you want,” you decide. “you want that puppy?”

jeno turns red, continuous head shaking as he clears his throat. “i just meant— i don’t know, you seem a little less miserable than before, not all grouchy, i’m happy for you”.

“pfft— thanks, always knew you loved me nono”.

his chagrin at such a nickname manifests in his much particular nose scrunch, his arms folding over his chest stubbornly. “don’t call me that.. so anyway, what changed?”

“hm?”

he leans over the couch, staring you down suspiciously, unnaturally nosy. “you can’t just decide to not be miserable overnight, what happened?”

you tilt your head up at him. “i’m getting to scrub in on proper surgeries, and i’m getting laid!”

jeno appears surprised, though gladdened anyway. “oh really? so who’s the guy then?”

you squint at him. “chenle put you up to this?”

“what?” he seems taken aback, but equally completely caught. “no?”

you open your mouth to rebut that clear lie, yet you’re both interrupted by lee donghyuck barreling into the room, looking too good for a regular saturday night, fancy overcoat draped over his arm that he definitely stole from renjun.

“stop looking at me and help me put this on” he motions towards his empty wrist and a fancy looking bracelet.

jeno simply whistles lowly.

“where are you going dressed up like this?” you inquire in the manner of a scrutinizing parent. “you got a date?” you don’t miss his avoidance of eye contact once you actually fasten the thing around his wrist.

“..yes”,

jeno applauds happily, much too excited, as if he were the one going on a date.

“give us a spin” you chide.

“seriously?”

both you and jeno nod in unison.

donghyuck begrudgingly obliges.

“you look good” jeno states.

“very good” you ruffle his hair irritatingly, and he hisses as he bats your hand away, muttering his small thanks. “have fun!”

you make sure to blow him a kiss on his way out, donghyuck makes sure to slam the door on his way out.

jeno then turns to you. “can i guess your guy’s name?”

“no!”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 4: secrets out eventually!!

you suppose you had to eventually tell your friends at some point, of course that would include admitting zhong chenle is right and that sucks the life out of you for a much identifiable reason. the other three are bound to find out about jaemin soon enough, because whilst you’ve never been a talker, it’s getting annoying to do the constant walk of shame to jaemin’s apartment.

“i’m really trying to understand what your problem with me is” jaemin grins, all teeth, perfectly straight purely white fucking teeth. you’re back in the closet again, you can’t help but surmise that there’s a joke in there somewhere.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t, it’s simply so cute how you get angry, kinda turns me on”.

you decide to ignore that one, wiping your mouth over with the back of your hand. you then focus on getting your shirt back to its original, somewhat normal looking form, god you’re so reckless.

“i’m just saying.. if you put effort into actually getting to know me we’d actually be pretty good— fuck ow!” he winces in the manner of a kicked puppy, all because you twisted a piece of skin between your fingers.

“i’m not interested in getting to know you, thought i made that clear” you voice.

“only thing you’ve made clear is that you believe it’s your god given right to hate me since no one else does”.

“oh you make me feel so special, i’m sure there’s someone else in this world who hates you as much as i do”.

“sure y/n” jaemin begins, “i find it hard to believe you actually do hate me” he nips at your ear, you really shouldn’t let jaemin kiss your neck, but you don’t push him off, he’d throw a hissy fit.

just as his hand begins venturing downward the closest door creaks open, and you two jump apart as if you’ve been caught, standing in the doorway is none other than lee donghyuck.

“what the fuck?” he whispers, quickly closing the door behind him. when he steps into the dingy white light, you notice the wet tears against his eyelashes, everything else is erased from your mind.

“hey” you begin, voice soft. “what’s wrong? did something happen?” you smooth over your scrubs.

“nothing” his voice gives it away. “we can’t cry mid shift anymore?”

no, but donghyuck hasn’t cried over a patient in a while, that’s typically your prerogative.

“it’s wonil” he sniffs. “stupid fucking kim wonil,” he sits down on an upturned bucket, once you kneel beside him, he pulls you into a hug to bury his tear streaked face against your neck. “i’m gonna have to change my name and transfer to gwangju instead!”

you look over donghyuck’s trembling shoulder at jaemin, who appears just as clueless as you are. he instead opts to patting the small of his back in support, rubbing soothing strokes. “could i have some elaboration, babe?”

“he used me” he says, holding onto his sobs. “took me on a stupid fucking fancy date and then i caught him with mark lee— oh my god, he.. he lied to me, he said they broke it off months ago but that obviously wasn’t true and he kept scrubbing in on the important surgeries, i thought he— we were going out for months and i just, fuck i feel awful y/n”.

well that’s.. not what you expected to hear at all. your head spins.

“wait— wonil? that’s who?”

“can we not talk about that part right now?” he simply allows for the tears to free fall, you attempt to wipe them as best you can.

sure, it’s nothing.

“did he tell you? how’d you even find this out?”

“no he didn’t i saw them” he covers his face with his own hands, distraught. “and he didn’t even care..”

“then none of it is your fault” you assure, patting the side of his arms. “he’s an asshole”.

it doesn’t quell donghyuck enough, his shoulders continuously quivering. “i had a bad feeling, i really should’ve known better—“

“he’s a cheat, he should know better, don’t beat yourself up over this”.

“i fucking loved him y/n” he rests his head onto your shoulder, something twisted and horrible lodged in his throat, tears endless.

~

it’s raining because of course it’s raining.

“it’s storming pretty bad” jaemin quips, conversationally. “do you not want me to call you a ride?”

you simply allow a small breath to escape your lips, hair tousled as you slip your jacket on through your arms. “nah, the bus works just fine” you say, wiping your hands on your pants despite your much irritation.

“and i’m guessing you don’t want to wait until it’s let up either?”

“i have to get home cause jeno’s working late and— hyuck’s alone, don’t want him to be..” you mutter, glancing down at your watch as you crinkle your nose at the time. “he’s been baking since the whole wonil thing happened, need to make sure he doesn’t burn down the apartment”.

jaemin doesn’t have to put anymore work into convincing you. “alright, have fun”.

you do the typical before leaving checkup, you have your keys, your phone, cash, and a bus pass, good. it’s silent, awkward, not much of a regular conversation when he isn’t bending you over a table.

but there’s something you really need to know.

“hey jaemin?”

“hm?” he doesn’t look up from his phone.

“should we talk about.. this?”

“well talking about it makes it weird”.

you consider your next words very carefully. “i’m lonely, you know”.

jaemin then puts his phone down. “i’m lost”.

you’re unaware of why exactly you feel the need to divulge context about whatever your relationship happens to be, you keep thinking back to donghyuck and you remember the liabilities caused by workplace relationships. you’re afraid you can’t stomach another complicated relationship, situations that wrap around your head in a nauseating fashion. not that jaemin is boyfriend material or anything but—

“the first time we hooked up? in the on-call room? i did it because i just got off a bad breakup and i was stressed and.. you were my first option”.

jaemin remains frozen in his place, gaze pointed, chest perfectly accentuated in his shir— stop looking there y/n. “what i’m trying to say is that i was desperate and it’s important you know that because—“

“get to the point”.

“i don’t want this to.. you know, be more than what it is, like.. domestic and shit”.

“oh jesus, okay y/n” he pinches the bridge of his nose, as if you irritated him. “you’re asking me not to fall in love with you right? you could’ve just said that then”.

“it sounds stupid”.

“and your other option sounded better?”

“whatever, i’m going, good talk”.

“great talk”.

“stop trying to get the last word in”.

“i’m not trying to do anything”.

“goodnight”.

“don’t say things you don’t mean”.

“fine, i hope you have a terrible one, i hope your roof catches on fire and you sleep through it and it all comes crashing onto you so your death is all slow and painful, happy?”

jaemin smiles, waving you off with each of his fingers as you storm out of the door, into the pouring rain, slamming it shut behind you.

you take a short walk and an even shorter bus ride home, yet when you enter your apartment you’re absolutely drenched.

the whole house smells of sugar and semi-baked sweets, it almost reminds you of home, back when you’d fuck shit up with your sisters in the kitchen. the now added on pain is the continuous ringing of the fire alarm, donghyuck standing at the counter fanning smoke with an empty box of brownie mix.

you sigh as you kick off your shoes.

“what the hell did you do?”

“i have it under control” donghyuck whines.

“hyuck—“

“don’t step any closer” he threatens, butter knife in hand.

your hands raise in mock surrender, a flat look sent his way. “you’re being ridiculous”.

“sorry” he puts the knife down, breathing labored. “help me?”

you two sit down on the kitchen floor and have brownies and ice cream for dinner, an ironic feat for a pair of medical professionals, but this is simply one of those things licensed under free will you have as an adult, the kind of thing that makes you think maybe parental supervision is a good need. besides, sugar is good for heartbreak.

“i don’t wanna go to work tomorrow” donghyuck mutters, beginning to consistently tap his head onto the counter, as if attempting to bash his brains out. “this is so stupid”.

“it’ll be fine, i’m sure no one will question you up front”.

he glances upward. “my former sort of boyfriend is fucking the most popular attending neurosurgeon, and people think i was homewrecking whatever the hell they have going, you think people just forget that?”

you lick your spoon clean. “yeah it’s not looking good,” you admit, scratching the back of your head. “but i’m here to help you through it, and samoyed will be there to bark at anyone who looks at you funny”.

donghyuck gives a weak laugh and leans his head onto your shoulder. “yeah yeah, whatever..”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 5: fuck the domestics, fuck na jaemin.

of course because the universe has a really good sense of humor, mark lee and kim wonil are the first people you and donghyuck see when the elevator dings on the first floor. wonil looks at a loss for words, you’d pride him on such amusement if you weren’t looking to cause him bodily harm.

“uh” mark starts.

“we’re taking the stairs” and since you’re a good friend you do not complain when donghyuck drags you up four flights of stairs.

in his valiant efforts to stay away from neuro, donghyuck gets assigned to obstetrics for the day, whilst you end up back with dr. kim in cardio, which is always a simultaneous blessing and curse. the patient you’re seeing—kiara— has been going back and forth on getting the surgery for a while, and doyoung seemed more than relieved when you showed up with those signed consent forms.

you worked your ass off to get onto this case. you stayed up late all night reading into the procedure, designing a diagram which detailed the surgical process despite the fact that you wouldn’t be carrying it out yourself. observing a complex surgery like this is a rarity for interns, so you intend to soak up every bit of knowledge you can.

so, by design, you’re also standing beside the operating table when her pulse dips, her clutched hand falling dormant in your hold. after the frenzy of orders getting called out and defibrillators charging, there’s nothing but the long, insistent beep of a flatline.

dr. kim calls out the time of death.

realistically, nothing could have been done. she’d waited too long to take the surgery, her vascular walls were weak. it was the best surgeons in the room, and if they couldn’t save her then maybe it was just her time.

you break down in the tunnel despite all of that, you’re sitting on one of the beds against the wall, aware of your own ridiculousness, yet allowing for the tears to brim up anyway.

the only reason kiara was terrified of getting that surgery was because she was afraid of dying on that table, she was scared of dying, and you’d held her hand while they put her under, promising she’d be okay.

that was the mistake.

patient outcomes are never promised, and as much as they remind you, as much as you’re aware that this is in your line of work, death just so happens to spring up on you instantaneously, you can never really fully prepare for it.

“she was going to die anyway” you don’t have to glance up to meet the face behind the voice, simply acquainted with the sight of jaemin’s shoes.

“i know”.

“so why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

you sigh, massaging a finger to your temple, your head hurts, it all hurts. “go away” another sob pushes itself up out of your chest, another sniffle, more snot.

but would na jaemin ever genuinely listen to an order? absolutely not. he did not go away, he stepped closer, a hand gracing your shoulder.

your own shoulders slump, you’re completely and utterly disappointed in yourself.

“i don’t need you to say anything,” he breathes. “i’m just telling you that it’s okay..”

“it’s not okay” you seethe. “would you have made the same mistake? would you be in my position if it was you?”

you take everything too personal, you need to start thinking like a surgeon, there’s no room for sensitivity in a field like this, dr. kim had said. he made you break the news to her family, have to watch the washed over expressions and the chorus of sobbing as you attempted to contain your own.

“well i wouldn’t have gotten attached..”

and it sounds so condescending, lowly, superiority reigned over your head. you’ve had a terrible day, and all you can do is sob in your own pity as jaemin just stands there.

it’s so easy to get swallowed up in your pride, tout your pigheadedness in front of jaemin on a regular front with spouted curses and illusions high. you suppose jaemin doesn’t have the best standards for you, you didn’t even do anything, but the fashion of your personality you’d displayed was enough of a case.

“y/n” jaemin calls, soft, you almost don’t hear him. the mattress dips with his added pressure, a hand coming to touch the side of your face, fingertips cold as they tuck strands of your hair behind your ear. jaemin’s hands are always cold. “y/n, hey”.

you don’t respond, can’t do anything but let jaemin pull you against his chest. it’s an odd feeling because it’s the thing you needed from the last person you expected to give it to you. you exhale shakily, closing your eyes and reveling in the prospect of being held.

“you suck at this” you sob, on principle of course.

“hush” jaemin murmurs. he rests his chin atop your head, and he says nothing more, doesn’t even pull away either. you cry until you have no more left to give, your shift isn’t quite over yet, you have charts to finish and labs to read over. you push at jaemin to let you go.

“m’fine” you sniffle, posture straightening as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. you feel reckless, embarrassed, like a child. your face is burning hot, but at least you feel better. jaemin is staring, as if he’s experiencing a certain thing for the first time.

you look away.

“i’m fine” you repeat. “don’t look at me like that”.

jaemin clears his throat as if snapping out of an episode. “i know you don’t care for my opinion, but i think you’re doing great”.

“you what..?”

jaemin nods, doesn’t elaborate on any of it, it’s awkward.

your pager beeps, and once you glance down at the location, you silently curse at the location being half across the hospital.

“right, um thank you, i guess i’ll.. uh, see you later?”

“you know where to find me”.

jeno seeks you out first once your shift is over, apprehensive as always.

“you okay? i heard what happened..”

“yeah m’fine” you pause before the doors to allow jeno to catch you, donghyuck and renjun won’t be done for another hour, and it’s once again pouring outside. “i just need to shower and sleep for fifty hours”.

jeno is already looking at you when you glance over. you’ve heard your fair share of stories concerning surgical failures, much too close to one when in your childhood, but experiencing one firsthand just really took it all out of you.

“i’m going to get better at this surgeon thing right? i have to?” you ask.

“you will” jeno replies, silent. he links your fingers together, a warm feeling. he then nudges you, the slightest bit of comfort in the affection laced gesture. “we both will”.

~

there’s a small switch flip after that.

jaemin remains jaemin. perfectly polished jaemin, hardened in the face of death, all precise and unphased, yet you lay your heart bare for it all, fortitude at the forefront of your emotions.

occasionally, you find yourself looking over at jaemin when he’s too engrossed in his work or conversation to notice.

when you observe him, you attempt to figure out where the fortitude of his beating organ lies. it appears jaemin acts in kindness when he thinks no one else is looking. you wonder if that’s a true display or if that’s simply another mask he wears around for the hell of it, getting into the sweet spots of littler kids is a spectacular move. then again, it takes a special kind of evil to be mean to kids. sure, jaemin’s a bit of an asshole, but he isn’t all bloods evil.

that isn’t such a hard concept to grasp.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 6: running out of terrifically timed titles

the tumultuous disarray of your life provides solace, somewhat regular sex escapades with jaemin continue and donghyuck is often too tipsy once you get home from your shifts later in the week. you surmise he’s simply coping with his situation in manners he’s accustomed to, though both you and jeno would love to chide him for the unhealthiness, you two also can’t talk, ever since you found that unlimited espresso machine in the second floor cafeteria, it’s basically become your life source. jeno will scold you for that one when he eventually finds out, though it’s good to know jungwoo doesn’t mind, simply passing you with mild apprehension whenever you go grab another cup.

you guess you can’t talk about anything, but you also can’t help worrying about your friend.

“l/n, did you follow up on those scans i asked for?” dr. kim unabashedly ambushes you whilst you’re in the middle of a good speed powered walk, files almost tumbling out of your bundled arms.

“uh— yes, they redid them so they aren’t blurry, and i also put in that psych eval you requested, i have all of them here”.

“nice work, will you be available to scrub in tomorrow morning?”

you blink at him, baffled. “i— oh my god yes, thank you um..” you honestly didn’t expect that one after the prior incident with kiara. you assumed for sure doyoung would stand between you and the O.R for a couple of months.

“is there a reason you’re still standing in front of me?”

you blush, embarrassed. “i’m sorry i just.. i know you don’t think i’m cut out for this so I’m unsure of why you chose me”.

for a slim moment, there’s genuine in doyoung’s eyes. “well i’ll have you know opinions can change, will you move out of my way now”.

you pause. “of course, sorry, thank you, i appreciate it”.

“you’d better” he beams, placing yet another stack in your arms. “could you drop these off at the nurses station for me?”

you make your way back downstairs, still reeling from the previous words said to your face, when you hear a familiar voice.

“is dr l/n here? well, no— he’s an intern”.

you look up from the nurses station immediately, catching a glimpse of osaki shotaro’s identifiable tuft of hair, golden blonde, still dyed. he hasn’t changed since you last saw him, well you suppose a few months really don’t provide anything substantial in the area of change.

“taro?”

when he glances up, he breaks into one of his bright smiles and he parts (hyperbole) the hallway to get to you. “y/n, hey, hi”.

“what— what are you doing here? is everything okay? is your mom oka—“

“i’m fine, everyone’s fine it’s just.. i mean— i don’t know actually i was just nearby and i wanted to see you? i know i’m the one who broke up with you and all but i was sure there was a high chance you’d be here instead of.. well anywhere else”.

“yeah” you laugh. “yeah that is true”.

“it’s nice to see you” he fiddles with his bracelet, reaching over to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, a natural habit, you grab onto his wrist before his fingers can grace your skin. shotaro pauses for a moment, cheeks colored pink in embarrassment as he slips from your hold.

“sorry— i um.. can we just talk actually?”

your face warms rather quickly. “uh..”

“oh hello” jaemin appears—literally out of nowhere—“are you here for a patient?”

“no actually he was just leaving—“

“i’m shotaro” he tilts his head to read jaemin’s id card. “you’re.. dr na?” he extends his hand for a handshake, jaemin ignores it. you almost want to tell him off for such a thing.

“yes, you must be the boyfriend”.

“ex boyfriend” you both say.

jaemin inhales a bated breath, handing you a stack of files. “jungwoo said to give these to you, the chief needs all the records manually inputted before you get off your shift today”.

“but—“

“we’re all splitting work, that’s your stack and this is mine”.

“i’m supposed to be having lunch” you frown.

jaemin shrugs, nothing of helpful. “do them after, i don’t care, i’m just the messenger”.

“it was nice meeting you”.

“sure” jaemin flashes a noncommittal smile, then, as quick as he came, he’s gone.

“is he always like that?” shotaro inquires, you sigh, much loudly.

“yeah, kind of, at first glance..”

“so lunch! can i treat you?”

you chuckle. “well i can’t leave so i hope you don’t mind hospital food”.

it’s (surprisingly) a very enjoyable experience for you.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 7: coupling 1000

on tuesday, lee jeno walks into the locker room looking slightly askew, yet completely elated, brightened in some unusual fashion.

you let out a low whistle. “now what the fuck has you so happy?”

“nothing”.

“is it a guy?”

“no!” jeno refutes, the bright red hue paired with the shrill squeaked ‘no’ do naught for his argument. “it’s not that”.

“you have that after guy glow”.

“you’re insane”.

“he’s right though” jaemin wraps an inviting arm around his shoulder, jeno full on pouts. “you look awfully stunning this morning, jeno”.

“fuck?”

“you’re okay”.

“damn, why’s it feel like every intern in this hospital is getting some but me?” donghyuck grouches, you instantly share a look with renjun.

at the inevitable silence, donghyuck groans again. “don’t answer that”.

“yeah cause you’d only be told the obvio—“

“good morning~” kim jungwoo sings, much too delighted for the time of day. “glad to see all of you interns actually in on time, l/n and na you’ll be helping mark prep his patient, zhong and lee one you’ll be in the pit, and.. huang and lee two on charts, any complaints? wonderful! get going!”

mark lee has the discontented mannerisms of a teenage boy, awkward stutters and all, you often neglect to recall that he’s a revered surgeon prided for performing some of the best brain operations in the country, technically your boss.

you haven’t spent much time around him, you actively avoid kim wonil for the sake of donghyuck’s (and your own) sanity, looking into the eyes of mark lee, he appears bashful, shyly boyish in a manner akin to a formerly stranger lee jeno.

“guess he’s still avoidant”.

you snort, jaemin sucks his teeth, you then sigh with your tongue prodding at the side of your cheek. “well he can’t look at you without thinking about..”

now that you think about it, you’ve never really had a conversation with kim wonil, what’s even with the guy?

“oh” his face drops in that distinct kicked puppy fashion, you merely sigh.

“just give him space, okay? he’ll surely come around”.

“space.. really?”

“space is good” jaemin chimes in. “and either way he’s not your intern, we are, can we go now?”

he’s always been ever so impatient.

~

yang jungwon is a twenty year old college student with a tumor pressing down on his frontal temporal lobe. “it’s affecting his impulse control,” mark warns. “so if he says something a bit forward, that’s why”.

“forward?” you question.

when mark, you and jaemin walk into jungwon’s room, his mother is sitting beside his bed, smoothing over his sheets with her hands. mark bids them good morning and introduces you two as the interns which will be overseeing the surgery, the first thing jungwon says is:

“jesus you all are hot, is that requirement here? why are you all so hot? are there more of you?”

“jungwon” his mother softly chides.

forward, you hum, jaemin only makes an agreeing noise beside you.

“sorry, was that rude? i’m very sorry”.

“he’s usually shy” his mother explains. “he doesn’t mean to be offensive”.

“no offense taken ma’am, that’s probably the nicest thing a patient has said to us in a while” mark replies. “how are you feeling won?”

“my mom’s nervous so now i’m nervous and the food here sucks by the way, i don’t really wanna have brain surgery but i have to be optimistic so yay!”

“that’s the spirit!” mark cheers. “okay, dr. l/n here is gonna run a couple of tests to make sure everything is okay, dr. na will handle all the paperwork, if you still want to proceed i can have you scheduled for O.R two bright and early tomorrow morning, i’ll make sure everything goes smoothly for you okay?”

“can i get snacks from the vending machine to make it go smoother?”

“i’ll do it” his mother offers. “don’t give dr. l/n a hard time, okay?”

mark leaves with jaemin and mrs. yang to grab snacks and necessary consent forms, you begin putting on your gloves to give jungwon a routine examination.

“dr. l/n can i ask you a question?” jungwon asks.

you remove the stethoscope from your ears, giving him a small smile. “go ahead, i’m all ears”.

“well it’s more of a personal question” he twiddles his thumbs, smile stretched widely as he tilts his head towards you. “are you two like.. together?”

“me and who?”

“the other, other hot doctor with all the teeth, the one who was in here just now”.

“me and.. na?”

“yeah, is he your boyfriend? he was looking like he wanted to eat you, i was honestly getting worried by how intense he was staring”.

that shocks a fit of laughter out of you. “no no, he wasn’t—he’s.. he’s not my boyfriend”.

“oh okay, well if nobody’s told you yet then i’m a hundred percent sure he wants to jump your bones, and also be your boyfriend”.

you clear your throat, flustered by jungwon’s sense of earnesty. “we’re not together, just coworkers”.

“do you have a boyfriend?”

you sigh and lean forward, pressing two fingers on either side of his neck to feel for a carotid pulse. “you’ve said the word boyfriend an awful lot in these past few minutes,” you pause. “no i don’t”.

“okay” jungwon says. “this is going to sound a bit presumptuous, but if i survive the surgery, will you go out with me?”

you skillfully sidestep such a question. “that’s not presumptuous, dr. lee is one of the best brain surgeons in the country, he’s going to make sure you come out just fine, your most likely outcome is positive”.

jungwon stops, blinking up at you, galaxies in his pupils. “i think we might be soulmates”.

“yang jungwon”.

“that’s me”.

“you’re cute, and sweet, and funny— but i absolutely cannot go out with you”.

“is it the brain damage thing? i’ve been told that’s a dealbreaker”.

“don’t be cheeky, how old are you again? twenty?”

“twenty going on twenty five”.

you laugh. “you have your whole life ahead of you to find a soulmate, people don’t really have a good time dating me, you’ll be dodging a bullet”.

“what, why not?”

“won—can i call you won?”

“you can call me anything you want..”

“won” you stress, “i spend about eighty hours a week in this hospital, i barely have time to eat or sleep or even think about anything that doesn’t include cutting someone open, my last boyfriend dumped me for that reason, i couldn’t do that again, and i definitely don’t think you want to”.

“ah i see” jungwon says, he’s silent for a while before he asks: “you’re saying it would make sense for you to date someone who works as much as you do, like another doctor, right?”

“well that wasn’t the point but i guess that makes sense then”.

jungwon smiles as if he’s figured out something. “so do you like dr. na then?”

“dr. na is standing right there” jaemin chimes in. you two both turn to see him standing in the doorway, “i have consent forms, i already went over the procedure with your mom, i’m aware mark probably covered it with you, but if it would make you more comfortable i could go over it with you myself”.

both you and jungwon stare at him.

“what?”

“is he always like this?”

you smile in his direction, giggling as you ruffle his hair. “yeah”.

“didn’t peg you as the type to flirt with patients” jaemin utters later in the nurse station whilst you two idle around in feigned ignorance as if you don’t have mountains of work weighing on your shoulders. jungwon had personally asked for you to scrub in on his surgery, and it’s clear jaemin was just the slightest bit envious, you would be too if in his shoes. mark’s surgeries are always the most fun to watch.

“i wasn’t flirting, he was simply asking invasive questions so i entertained him, he’s a nice kid, it’s called having good bedside manners”.

“are you saying i don’t have good bedside manner?”

“your words, not mine”.

“i don’t care, you were definitely flirting back”.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t”.

“well there’s your answer”.

jungwon comes out just fine, you and jaemin however, you take a while to recover.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 8: well i guess he’s fine..

at the end of the week you typically only prefer to gorge on the junk food remained tucked in your refrigerator and embrace the warmth of your bed, but everybody knows you don’t always get the things you want, especially you in your kicked rock of a life.

“are you ready?” renjun bounces on his heels, changed out of his scrubs already, breathing down your neck in an effort to fasten your process of changing.

“what are you all doing tonight?” jaemin inquires, suddenly nosy.

“well i wanted to go home to eat ice cream then sleep all night, but since it’s the last wednesday of the month and we have tomorrow off renjun wants to go do karaoke at the local bar”.

“it’s kind of our tradition!” jeno offers, he’s sat down on one of the benches, lacing up his dunks. “you should come with us, drinks are half off until midnight”.

“you should come! it’ll be so fun, y/n has the voice of an angel”.

your cheeks color red in embarrassment. “well actually—“

“stop trying to be humble now, just admit it” renjun then turns to jaemin. “please? you literally never hang out with us”.

you can’t see renjun’s face, but you know he’s using that pleading puppy look to sell his point.

you watch jaemin crumble in real time.

“alright, guess it couldn’t hurt”.

what hurts is your throat after demolishing a flurry of early 2000s hits. now your ears are beginning to pain as renjun, donghyuck and chenle go head to head, they’ve rapped to super bass three times in a row, and donghyuck continuously doubles over in laughter whenever chenle messes up a single lyric. you aren’t complaining though, this is about the happiest you’ve seen donghyuck in the week, it makes you feel all warm seeing him laughing and all full of bashful insults.

jaemin has been nursing the same beer since you’ve arrived, tucked away on the couch in an effort to not participate in such nonsense. it dawns on you that you normally don’t hang out with him outside of the hospital much, and you wonder if he even has friends outside the hospital.

before you stop yourself, you’re wriggling out of jeno’s lap and making your way over to jaemin. he looks over when you get close, eyes traveling from the loose neckline of your shirt to your face.

“hiii”, you greet.

“hello, you’re drunk”.

“just a little” you giggle, hiccuping on nothing. “you look all moody and broody in the shadows, are you not having fun?”

“i am, you guys are just..” jaemin pauses, again glancing back at the scene before seemingly taking back a few words. “i am”.

you hum, whistling in the air. “i need some fresh air, come with me?”

jaemin nods, following behind you in the manner of a shadow out of the establishment. you two end up sitting on the sidewalk, chilling air offering you solace as you attempt to sober up.

it’s chillier than it was before, but you bask in the cold instead, short sleeves acting as nothing of a barrier.

“that was quite the performance back there” jaemin says quietly.

“thank you, yeah i can’t compare to donghyuck but singing is.. you know, just a hobby”.

you shiver offhandedly, jaemin observes for a while before offering you over his jacket, caging it around you in his lingering warmth. you yearn to comment on it, he practically dares you to, so you take it in silence.

“you know what would be amazing? a hot spicy bowl of kimchi jjigae”.

it’s been a while since you’ve been able to cook a genuine meal, the shifts take it all out of you and turning on any kitchen appliances gives you anxiety after a long shift. eating is a whole shove and go sort of a thing, you don’t pay much mind to it anymore. “now why would you put that in my head? i’m hungry” you whine.

“i know a good spot near the hospital, their stuff is like home”.

you ignore the mention of home.

“you’re just making it worse”.

“sorry” jaemin is not sorry. “maybe we can go together after work sometimes”.

“oh, like with the other interns? that’d be nice..”

jaemin looks caught, he swallows down nothing. “no i mean.. just us”.

you freeze. “oh”.

“what? having sex with me is okay but dinner is completely out of the question?”

“no” you reply defensively. “it’s just— us, you know? we can’t even go a few words without arguing, we don’t do dinner, the only thing we have in common is that we’re stuck up surgeons, we don’t do dinner”.

jaemin presses his lips into a flat line, the kind of thing he does when he’s looking for something nice to say. “we’re friends”.

you almost lurch forward, perhaps drinking was not a good idea. you blink, completely knowing of your upcoming decision.

“you know what? yeah, let’s get dinner”.

“right now?”

“no time like the present!” you shout, holding your hand out for jaemin as you rise from the sidewalk. he takes it, intertwining your fingers as you haul him off the ground,

“what about the others?”

“they’ll be fine” you excuse. “come on”.

you realize belatedly that it’s about midnight, which means most, if not all restaurants serving kimchi jjigae are closed. you two end up at the popular twenty four hour ramen spot instead, and you take time to sober up as you two wait in line. hanging off jaemin’s arm, you simply allow your head to lean against his shoulder, the other making no room for little complaints, you’ll regret being all clingy in the morning, but for now, it’s all up in the air. the waitress who seats you eyes you in that knowing way, she thinks you two are a couple, you decide to not correct her, there’s no benefit, she ensures a comment about how cute you two are.

“first thing i want to do after getting my license is..” jaemin begins. “treat the uppers at one of these places, like a celebratory dinner”.

“ramen for surgeons?”

“basically”.

you hum, tongue hot, all warm. “you wanna split this with me?” you inquire, referring to the takoyaki before you on a plate.

“can you even eat all that?” jaemin poses, clicking his tongue as he eyes the spread of appetizers. you aren’t a quitter, especially after a week of subpar meals you didn’t even bother turning on the stove to create. you raise your plate in his direction, offering a takoyaki ball which he takes a stab at.

“have you always wanted to be a surgeon?”

jaemin sighs. “we don’t have to do this”.

“do what?”

“the thing where we ask each other questions and pretend to care about the answers”.

“i do care” you press. “aren’t we friends? answer the question, minjae”.

“is that supposed to be a nickname?” jaemin grumbles. you’ve always had a knack for nicknames, jeno your main victim. “it sucks”.

“answer the question”.

he sighs again, but this time he’s smiling. “i mean, guess i always had the feeling, i was obsessed with that surgeon game when i was younger, i would sneak into my dad’s office and read up on all of his procedures, i read a lot of his stupid textbooks and was hooked forever”.

“oh”.

“yeah”.

“well it probably helped your family’s full of doctors huh?”

he pauses. “not really”.

you stop for a moment. “your dad is na kiwoo, he’s crazy good at his shit, he invented a whole new way to transplant bone marrow! your uncle is literally the chief of surgery at the hospital we intern at!”

you probably appear nerdy, you scratch the back of your ear, somewhat embarrassed. jaemin stares, clearing his throat. “my parents didn’t want me to become a surgeon”.

you are absolutely gobsmacked, jaemin goes through the effort of physically putting your jaw back in its place. “seriously?”

“absolutely, they did everything to make sure i wouldn’t get into the medical field, wanted me to get some bullshit sports scholarship, they refused to pay my tuition and basically said i ruined their dreams of having an olympian son so i went no contact”.

you scoff. “god”.

“right” he grins, though there’s little genuine. “i tried so hard to get into any program that didn’t have to do with guleum but look where i ended up”.

you blink as you attempt to process the influx of information. “but you’re destined for greatness— you’re your parents’ legacy”.

he dismissively waves. “it would be great if they cared, they have their noses buried in their work, can’t believe they thought i wouldn’t take it personal”.

“you’re still mad?”

“what do you think?”

and then he chuckles. you deliver a small smack to his shoulder, along the lines of an affectionate gesture. “they’re dickheads, you’re gonna be one of the best surgeons in the world, besides me”.

jaemin is now the one who’s surprised. “did you just compliment me?”

“hm.. think you’re hearing things”.

“sure” he stops. “so what about you, then? what got you into this program?”

your nose scrunches. “my sister, she always had complications growing up but she had to get a lobectomy when she was young because she had a tumor, after that she couldn’t talk for a while, we spent a lot of time at the hospital so that’s where the interest came from”.

“i didn’t know you had a sister”.

well you didn’t exactly care. “i have three, never a moment of peace”.

“oh i bet”.

your expression falters for a moment. “dad and mom didn’t want me to, get into the medical field that is, they thought i couldn’t do it, said it was a future depicted in failure and that i’d quit at the first loud shout”.

“you? quit?”

he appears genuinely shocked by such a revelation. “are you surprised?”

“kinda” he mutters, opting to glance directly at you. “you’ve always been so persevering, can’t imagine you quitting anything”.

you shrug. “they weren’t around much, i had to kinda fend for myself with three girls running around”.

“well you did it didn’t you?”

“yeah, all those my little pony reruns and sugar cookies” you muse, shaking your head. “i should not know as much as i do about that show”.

jaemin laughs at that one, and you can’t help the pride which swells in your chest. you belatedly realize that you’re enjoying this conversation, you two haven’t had a petty fight in a while, go figure.

“you aren’t that bad”.

“surprise”.

“so why are you so hellbent on proving it then?”

“preconceived notions go a long way, people hear my last name and think seven thousand different things, it gets tiring trying to prove them wrong, i don’t care anymore”.

but if his voice is anything, then he definitely does still care.

“okay so how exactly do you plan on getting home?” he inquires to you, leftover bags swinging in the light wind.

“the night bus”.

“you don’t drive?”

“i would kill myself” you blurt, and jaemin snorts. “don’t laugh, highways are terrifying, besides, the bus is empty at this time”.

“do they really run now?”

you stare flatly. “of course they do, i memorized the running hours”.

he has half a mind to giggle at that one, you then grab onto jaemin’s hand as you drag him towards the nearest bus stop.

your building lights remain blindingly bright once you finally reach your stop, jaemin following behind you in the fashion he always does.

“you really didn’t have to walk me”.

“i needed to make sure you’re in safely” he emphasizes, as if that makes any sense, he opts for an eye roll to sell the stubborn bit.

“aww, what a gentlemen you are minjae”.

he grumbles at the nickname, though his smile threatens to jump up at every glance.

for the first time since you and jaemin eloped, you take a glance at your watch, shocked at it being half past two already. “don’t you have work today? why didn’t you say anything?”

jaemin shrugs, flatly, very jaemin. “you guys were having fun, my shift’s at noon, it’s fine”.

“okay well, goodnight?”

“goodnight,” jaemin replies, and he leans forward for a peck, it’s short and sweet, by the time he’s done, you realize all too late, cheeks gone red as you instead blink.

“uh” you begin, very intelligent y/n, stellar. “that was.. um—“

“you okay?”

“no! i mean— yes i just, that was nice it was nice..” you exhale, “can i have another one?”

jaemin gives in, cupping your cheeks and drawing you in for another kiss. it shouldn’t go on for as long as it does, but you’re much too embarrassing to admit such a thing, instead you let him do it again, and again, and again, all soft against your lips.

“we probably shouldn’t do that again because..” your lips attempt to twitch up, you try to fasten that sincere expression on your features. “well you know—“

“right, no domestic shit” jaemin smiles, all teeth, so cocky.

you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a smile, turning towards the entrance in order to hide it. “goodnight”.

“goodnight” jaemin lingers for a moment, as if he wants to say something more. however, it appears he changes his mind once you glance back at him, he mirrors your turn back and begins walking off.

it’s not until you put the leftovers away and begin undressing for your shower that you realize you forgot to return him his jacket.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 9: the crush-not-crush phase

jaemin does the friend thing exceptionally well, he relays obscure anecdotes that you giggle at and sneaks in slight jabs when doyoung’s in the middle of an important sentence that has you nudging him in the stomach with your arm.

like right now, he’s droning on about a moment when a nanny almost burned down his parents house whilst trying to cook for him and you’re very much interested, sneaking snorts under your breath.

renjun, jeno and donghyuck all arrive, tapping you on your shoulder, you turn to glance with the slightest confusion.

there isn’t an exchange of words, they simply observe jaemin until he smiles, making up a story about having to go check up on a patient.

they all silently watch him leave.

“why’d you scare him off?” you complain, almost tapering off into whining territory.

“i just want to know what’s up with you two” renjun finally says.

you groan, donghyuck pushes as he takes a seat beside you. “we are not having this conversation again”. 

“is he your friend? your boyfriend? an eight month conquest? your shotaro replacement?”

“why does everyone think we’re dating—“

“i ran into him when he was leaving your room this morning” jeno drawls, flat, irritated in that soft way he always is. “i’m about to ask him to start pitching in on the water bill”.

“he’s not over that often”.

your argument falls flat at donghyuck’s eyebrow raise. “he has been this month, do you like him?”

“okay— i hook up with him a few times doesn’t mean i like him”.

“you two keep sneaking off every time we hang out, you basically made him our new pseudo roommate and you were doing that thing you do when you like someone”.

“what thing?”

“you get all giggly and playfully mean—“ donghyuck tucks his hair behind his ear and flutters his eyelashes, squealing in what you suppose is a high pitched imitation of your voice; “oh jaemin you’re sooo funny!”

you land a punch, neither renjun or jeno reach to stop your action despite donghyuck’s extensive complaints.

“i’m not— it doesn’t matter, how could i like jaemin? he’s a fucking shark, do you not remember what he did to me in my our first month?”

renjun glances around, as if searching around for a better excuse you could tout. “your point?”

“i don’t like him, i’m not dating him, it’s all for sex”.

“how long has this been going on again?”

you wrack your mind for an answer. “we started right after i got dumped so.. around late august?”

“oh my god” donghyuck says, his eyes blown out dramatically. “you’ve been sleeping with na jaemin for THREE MONTHS!?”

you decide to assault him again. “can you not be so loud?”

“and you haven’t killed him yet? ew, you do like him”.

“i don’t— what does—“

“oh you totally do! holy shit, is the dick that good!?”

when you take a liberal pause, renjun immediately crinkles his nose. “don’t actually answer that”.

“i wasn’t going to”.

“you were having sex flashbacks!”

“was not, get over yourself” you snark.

donghyuck looks one mouth opening away from speaking when mark lee suddenly shows up, plopping himself at your table. “is this seat taken?”

“yes!” you and renjun yell in unison.

donghyuck clears his throat. “actually, you were just leaving weren’t you?”

“we were?” you ask dumbly, donghyuck nods, tipping his head towards the door.

oh, you realize what he’s trying to do.

“right” you begin slowly. “just leaving, just going”.

“me too” adds renjun.

“i haven’t finished my sandwich yet..” jeno pouts, and renjun sighs as he grabs ahold of his collar, dragging him away from the lunch table where you’ll leave mark and donghyuck alone. “c’mon, they have something to fix”.

~

when you enter the kitchen the following saturday, donghyuck offers you a mere glance from his book before sighing. “jaemin’s?”

“yep” you pop the p, crouching down as you open the fridge, offering a squint as if your aid will magically appear given your gaze. “are we out of grapes?”

“jeno ate em all, why?”

“nothing, guess i’ll just starve”.

“are you gonna sleep over?”

“i don’t know..”

“sounds close to a yes”.

you glare, donghyuck chuckles.

“practice safe sex youngling!”

you flip him off, he offers you a kiss instead. “sure”.

“enjoy your weekend off!”

you pause before the door and turn back to give him a look, itching to ask a question you’re aware doesn’t have a definite enough answer. “so.. is everything good between you and mark now?”

“i’m working on it” he says, “just working on it”.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 10: blurring the line just a bit

you stumble into jaemin’s room and fall into his bed with your legs tangled. you feel warmth encapsulate you instantly. there’s lightheadedness, as if you’re drunk, intoxicated by the familiar scent of simply jaemin. his hair is in his eyes, yet for a long moment he simply stares. you doubt there’s a definitive way your imperfections could be glimpsed at in the vague orange lamplight, a small frown tugs at your lips.

“what?” you whisper, tentative.

“nothing” jaemin replies, equally silent. “it’s just— you’re just.. you look pretty like this”.

you blank for a moment, brightening yet attempting to shove it downward, reddened. “good, thought you were about to change your mind”.

“hush”.

when jaemin leans down to kiss you it’s soft, and your brain does that stupid malfunction thing once again, you sort of don’t know what to do with it. it’s syrup slow, the way jaemin licks into your mouth and his fingers trail up underneath your shirt, like you two have all the time in the world. you take in a long breath, tugging impatiently at his shirt which acts as a hurdle for you. he chuckles, you feel his smile against your own growing one.

you frown, such an expression heartens jaemin to no end. he’s torturing you, pressing slow soft presses against your soft skin, each press marked by his growing smile as he drags his mouth across each particular edge, exponentially leisure, nothing of vigor and more of attention to specific details. you squirm gradually, jaemin digs the pads of his fingers into your hips to hold you still in place, there’s a gentle edge to it that makes your head spin.

“hey” you tug at jaemin’s hair, and when he glances up at you there’s that huge urge to punch him, or maybe kiss him, do a crazy combination with the grin he’s sporting. “could you— fuck speed it up”.

“don’t you rush me y/n” he drawls, blinking up at you through his terribly beautiful eyelashes. “today is special”.

“it can be special when you get to it”.

“so bossy, maybe you should be in control then”.

despite his clear amusement, lingering insults on his tongue, jaemin again leans down to kiss you. it seems he enjoys that aspect, you don’t let go of his hair, hand on the back of his neck pressing him closer. it’s a good kiss, the slightest bit scary to you. you think you could get used to this, get accustomed to the sight of his dirty blonde hair and his hands pressing into the skin of your hip, possibly leaving marks.

it seems a little scary, but it also seems.. well, it makes you have all those mushy feelings you shouldn’t be having, feelings you’d have a heart attack at having three months ago.

you suppose you are blurring the lines a bit here, teeth ground and face buried into his neck, as if you were attempting to crawl into his skin. jaemin holds you and talks you through it like a lover would, it does terrible things to you, terrible terrible thoughts swirling around in your brain.

in the morning, you awake alone. you lie there for a moment, sunlight peeking through the curtains, then you allow your head to fall once more, taking in a deep breath which inadvertently means you’re smelling jaemin’s pillow. you shake your head instantly at such a thought, it’s really all over for you.

you settle for a moment before finally rising from your place, more of rolling off jaemin’s bed and almost breaking your bones with the fall on the floor.

you go through the motions, brushing your teeth and attempting to fix your hair, eventually just leaving it half done. you then venture into jaemin’s closet, grabbing at a random black hoodie and pulling it over your head.

you hear a commotion, head whipping in the direction of the door. you blink, poking your head out of the bedroom door. “jaemin?”

“i’m fine, it’s all fine! nothings burning down”.

you shuffle your way out of his room, feet mute against his bare floor. jaemin has his back to you, in nothing but a practically see through white shirt. “what’s this?”

“breakfast” he muses, eyes seemingly jumping when he catches a glimpse of you.

you lean over his shoulder, nosy as ever, his face is flat. “what?”

jaemin squints. “do you not like pancakes?”

“what kind of question is that? everyone likes pancakes” you reply, breakfast is one of the most foreign meals to you, you haven’t had an actual real breakfast meal in a startling while. “i thought you didn’t like strawberries”.

“they’re not for me” he says, nose scrunched. he uses a fork to cut up the pieces, getting an equal amount of each ingredient before holding it up to your face. “open up”.

“i know how to use a fork myself, you know”.

“open up”.

you drop your mouth open and allow jaemin to feed you, he observes you eat like a hawk. “good?”

you nod enthusiastically.

jaemin smiles, a real, toothless smile that blossoms alluringly over his features. “alright, eat breakfast, then we can go back to sleep”.

you pause, chewing. “i could’ve helped make breakfast”.

“well i didn’t want to wake you” you’re unaware of when he got closer, you opt to not question it, simply allowing his arms to circle around your waist and for him to kiss you once again. his presses are slow, lazy, warm, his sigh in tandem with him pushing you up against the counter.

“can’t i eat?”

“you look good”.

“my hair looks like shit..” you mumble, in response he ruffles it, which earns a grunt as you attempt to escape his hand by leaning backward. “and you just ruined it again”.

“i didn’t do anything” he’s got that smile on again, the one without his teeth, you found you enjoy capturing glimpses of that one much more than you’d ever gloat. “now eat, lord knows how long it’s been since you’ve had breakfast”.

he makes it up to you by helping you wash your hair in the shower, practically putting you to sleep with his ministrations, hand motions paired with a warm stream of water a dealing blow. he lets you do the same for him, sneaking in kisses between rinses to make your time a bit more difficult, water flicked your way resulting in slight squeaks. you spend the afternoon on the couch, bickering over what to watch before eventually settling on a drama you’d been recommended, cuddling closely, though napping quickly overtakes you. jaemin is heavy against your chest, and when you wake up past sunset, there’s a noticeable cramp in your arm, yet it’s the happiest you’ve felt in years.

~

it’s no wonder things change after that.

you see jaemin in the hallways of the hospital, messy hair paired with eye bags and your heart starts beating erratically. it remains in such fastened motions whenever he sends you a smile at lunch, or when you’re around the rest of your friends and can’t help but just.. stare. your chest warms inexplicably whenever he purposely bumps into you in the locker room or leans against you once he’s worn out, in the manner of a mind reader who knows what exactly such things to do your weak heart.

you’re still hooking up, obviously, but it’s become so ridiculously domestic that you’re unaware of when such lines began blurring.

jaemin brings you coffee, placing it atop the nurses station and patiently awaiting your response, smile akin to a cat bringing their owner a dead rodent as a gift.

you blink at it, then up at him, smiles all high. you recognize the doodles on the cup as from the cafe down the street, yet your mind is still the slightest bit woozy from a frankly terrible three hour sleep. “what’s this?”

“a little pick me up” he replies. “can’t just keep throwing back espresso shots, that’s unhealthy”.

how jaemin even figured that out is something you neglect to mention, you presume he’s some sort of alien mind reader, completely inhumane. you would’ve bitten back with a snarky remark a few months ago, yet it appears your mind is full of gray static now. you shake your head and go back to reading over the patient notes.

“i can’t drink that”.

“it’s your order” he drawls, and your eyes again shoot up.

“what.. uh— shit”.

jaemin pokes at your shoulder, sliding the cup over and encouraging you to take a sip. you’d argue with him, if you could with how he’s staring.

he was right, it is.

“how’d you even..?”

“i have my ways,” he brightens.

“thank you” you whisper.

“it’s nothing” he leans in to dart a kiss to your temple. “take it easy, okay?”

and your world successfully tilts on its own axis, you really need a word for that one.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 11: desperate times desperate looking man

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages,” renjun whispers. you’re sneaking into the NICU between patients, like you typically do when swallowed with work. the tiny preemie babies are so cute, they’re simply giving it their all to survive, it encourages you to keep going in the slightest bit. also did you mention they’re absolutely adorable?

“are you finally moving out? are you taking jeno with you? am i free?”

“i’m not leaving, stop trying to divorce me” you say, smacking donghyuck’s shoulder in retaliation to such words. “has jaemin been acting any weird around you?”

“you mean like— weirder than normal?” donghyuck raises an eyebrow, renjun distracted by cooing at the sleeping NICU babies. you always wondered the extent of dreams infants have, constantly intrigued by such a thing.

“no not really” he replies, nudging renjun slightly in an effort to get him back on track. the older startles out of his admiring daze, blinking in your direction.

“jaemin? jaemin’s always been weird, why are you asking?”

“i don’t know he’s acting.. different, i’m a little worried”.

“different how?” renjun does his award winning judgmental gaze, amping up your consciousness.

“well you know how i slept over at his place last weekend—“

“and spared me the ear bleeding noises yes”.

“shut up, this morning he got me coffee before rounds started, he kissed me and told me to take it easy, since when has jaemin cared about that?”

renjun and donghyuck exchange one mere glance before the latter speaks up; “you know what that sounds like? i think you sucked and fucked your way into a relationship”.

“don’t swear in front of the babies!”

“and don’t ever say sucked and fucked again” renjun glares, nose crinkling in disgust.

donghyuck sucks his teeth, though ignoring renjun’s distinct complaint. “seriously y/n, if you can’t see with your huge fucking eyes that jaemin has something for you, that might be a huge problem”.

your arms drop at their sides, readying up some terrible rebuttal when your pager goes off, you immediately sigh once jaemin’s name pops up. “speak of the devil” you muse.

when you walk into the E.R you spot him immediately.

“hey, what’s up?”

“just need you to come look at something for me” he immediately says. “i have a theory, but i need a second opinion”.

a smug smile creeps onto your face. “are you asking me for a consultation right now?”

he rolls his eyes. “don’t act coy, there’s a lady with glitter glue in her ears, you seriously have to see this”.

you let him lead the way.

~

it’s eerily quiet in the intern locker when you walk in to grab your phone, one single being in the room, that of na jaemin, lying back on one of the benches, leg propped up. once he catches sight of you, he sits up.

“hey”.

“hi” you reply.

“out or in?”

“out, apparently i hit my eighty hours for the week, jungwoo cut me off”.

“that sucks, i’m on call tonight”.

“that does suck” you hum, shoving your phone in your bag as you eye the suspicious way his leg is propped up. “what’s up with your leg?”

“nothing, it’s just— my knees a little sore, that’s all”.

you frown slightly. “let me see”.

“you know i’m an adult, right? i can take care of myself”.

“hush” you respond, flatly staring as jaemin sits back on the bench, allowing you to poke at the wrap around his knee.

“it’s an old injury” he says. “it’s supposed to be fully healed but it still troubles me sometimes”.

your mouth drops open in a silent ‘ah’, “speed skating, right”.

“yeah, i was just telling choi about it, i don’t know why everyone is so surprised i used to speed skate”.

“you’ve been telling everyone about your secret past? i don’t feel special anymore, na jaemin” you tease. you sit up on the bench, satisfied jaemin wasn’t lying about wrapping it up properly. you’re supposed to go meet your family after this, but you don’t want to leave jaemin’s side just yet, call it obsession.

“relax” jaemin drawls, giving you a salacious wink. “they all know i only have eyes for you”.

you ignore the heat rising in your ears. jaemin has been much more forward with his advances lately, unabashed, little shame, which reminds you—“everyone thinks we’re dating, you know? you’re fueling the fire”.

“you know i don’t care what people think of me”.

liar.

“well i care” you answer. “about us, about.. uh— well, people always talk, you know? makes me anxious”.

“you sure you want me to stop flirting with you? really?”

“yes” you have an airy undertone lacing your voice, eyes sliding towards jaemin’s mouth, you realize lately that all you want to do is kiss him. you’re about fully prepared to when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“you got somewhere to be?”

you shoot off a text to your younger sister to assure her that you will indeed not be late. you meet jaemin’s eyes and hesitate for a moment, though you’re unsure of why. “yes actually i have a reunion, well— not exactly a reunion but my parents want me to come home for some reason, probably gonna try to set me back up with my ex like they do every single time..”

there’s a small shift in his expression. “oh? didn’t they try to do that last week? or was that something else?”

“shotaro offered last week and i couldn’t turn him down, they’re trying to push me back to another ex”.

“ah”.

you pick up your bag and stand to head out of the door.

“i promised my sisters i wouldn’t be late, can’t leave them alone at home, if they make anything good i’ll bring around leftovers” you look over your shoulder. “text me when you get home?”

jaemin neglects to respond, you squint as you look at him.

“jaemin?”

“what? oh yeah, yeah, i’ll text you”.

~

jaemin does not end up texting.

you’re aware of that because you continuously glance over at your phone whilst your parents mutter on their meticulous jargon, sneaking in less than vague insults pertaining to your character. you keep checking for some sort of ping, a rogue emoji or videos of his cats that he enjoys sending so much. you only get texts from donghyuck asking what kind of pasta noodles he should buy for dinner, nothing else.

“are we boring you?” your youngest sister inquires, her head leaning against her head as she takes liberal glances towards your own phone.

you sheepishly put your phone away, you have no idea what anybody has been droning on about for the past few minutes, and you’re much too embarrassed to ask. “sorry no, please continue”.

later, you get home and crawl into your sheets, swiping the notification bar one last time to see if jaemin sent anything. disappointment. you tossed and turned for a moment, uncomfortable in the air of your room. it’s late, jaemin clearly had a long day and crashed as soon as he got home. he isn’t obligated to text you everyday, especially when you’re both equally busy in your own right. nevertheless, you briefly entertain the idea of showing up at his place just to see how he’ll react.

that would be crazy, you freak, is what your inner conscious speaks. he’s not your boyfriend or anything.

you do wish jaemin were here, though, he warms your presence in just the slightest.

you get up one last time, grabbing a dormant pusheen plushie left on your floor and pressing your face into it, a silent scream escaping your lips. you peer over at your phone one last time, finally deciding to take a leap.

goodnight, you text, pausing. you take a few moments, typing out i miss you a good six times before deleting such an idiotic message, you two saw each other no more than a few hours ago, why would you even send that? your hands are clammy.

maybe he caught something?

in the next minute, you practically jump up on your feet as your message is registered as seen. you sit up on the bed, observing text bubbles pop up and disappear for several minutes. eventually, jaemin settles on simply hearting your message.

he didn’t even say it back, but your heart is racing, and an irreversible warmth encapsulates you. the sides of your mouth curve upward involuntarily as you think of jaemin, his stupid jokes and his wide smile and his messy blonde hair, lying in bed deciding over how to respond to a ‘goodnight’ text. it’s just a text. a mere reaction even, nothing of a true response, yet this is a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.

lovesickness, you realize.

oh lord.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 12: and zhong chenle was right in the end

“fucking finally” chenle’s mouth does that swivel upward and he beckons renjun closer. “pay up”.

“what? no, this doesn’t count, he hasn’t even told jaemin how he feels yet” renjun argues.

donghyuck taps his feet onto the floor, nudging you with his shoulder as he shares a knowing look, you stick out your tongue, though completely anxious about your upcoming circumstances. “told jaemin how i what?”

chenle sighs as if the whole world rests atop his shoulders. “jaemin romances you every single day, cooks for you, buys you cute gifts, asks for free consults and you’re still wondering how he feels for you? you sure you were at the top of your class back in university?”

jaemin walks in then.

“jaemin!”

you internally wince at the extent of your excitement, tone overwhelming. “um.. hi”.

“hey”.

“you never texted”.

“must’ve slipped my mind”.

“cool— uh, listen” over jaemin’s shoulder, chenle gestures you a thumbs up, renjun making a cut throat motion across his neck whilst donghyuck simply observes the whole thing in the manner of daytime entertainment. “uh.. i’m— we’re ordering in tonight, pizza and a movie are you down?”

jaemin opens his locker and doesn’t look at you. “sounds a little boring, sorry..”

“we don’t have to watch the movie” you suggest, screw shame, you’re as desperate as they get.

he blinks over at you, as if attempting to keep himself grounded though looking into your eyes.

“i’ll pass, have fun though” he replies, “see you all tomorrow” then he’s picking up his jacket, rushing out the locker room in an instant, cutting you off quickly. he practically runs into jeno on his way out, startling the other into donghyuck’s personal space.

“what’s up with jaemin? he looks like his cat just died”.

you turn to renjun and chenle. “he just rejected me, right?

“that money is literally mine” chenle grits his teeth.

“you’re all useless”.

by the time you make it to the lobby, jaemin is about finished with his daily wrap up talk with the receptionist, bag over his shoulder and head pointed towards the door. you’re fully aware of how pathetic you must seem currently, but you suppose nothings worse than not getting the truth out of him.

“hey.. hey, jaemin, slow down?”

jaemin blinks again, the irritated furrow of his eyebrows jumping out at you immediately. “what do you want?”

“i want you to talk to me”.

“what’s there to talk about?”

“you— gosh, you’re so confusing, you know? i can’t read minds, can’t you just tell me what i did wrong?”

and how you ended up outside is beyond you, perhaps it was the better decision, after all, arguing in front of the front desk lady is about as embarrassing as it gets.

jaemin scoffs, glancing down at his watch as if he’s unaware of the time, his apple watch lights up and the background is a picture of his cats, the wallpaper is helplessly adorable, it endears you to no end.

“you didn’t do anything”.

“well you don’t exactly make that obvious with how you’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been weird ever since i told you i started hanging out with shotaro again”.

“that— that has nothing to do with it, what you do out of work is none of my business”.

you try not to feel hurt by that one, you’re aware of what jaemin is trying to do. “so what is it?”

jaemin bites into his cheek. “can’t you drop it?”

“no” you refuse, slightly blocking his way though he could probably carry you on a bad day. “you’re going to have to tell me or get through me”.

“are you insane?”

that almost earns a well deserved fit of laughter, you suppose you are at this point. “you’re being immature, we have all night”.

jaemin gives a long hard stare, and you actually think he’s about to push you out of the way, leave you rejected on the cold sidewalk, but then he sighs, picking at the ends of his hair before breaking into a sigh. “i let you down, you know?”

you blank, arms dropping at your sides as you instead give continuous blinks. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

jaemin looks a crossbred of punching you and kissing you. “of course you don’t remember it’s— god you say things and barely even mean them cause you just talk so much, you know? you make me mad cause you do these little things that just piss me off and i just don’t understand you, you care about people so much and you’re so bossy but you’re also so.. cute, and nice, and you’re funny and you always do these things that make me realize i’m stupidly in love with you, there, that’s it”.

your heart resounds like a drum in your ears. “jaemin—“

“i fell in love with you, okay? and i know you told me not to, didn’t want us devolving into any domestic shit but.. i am, present tense, i’m in love with you”.

oh, you suppose there’s always a catch.

“you done now?” you ask.

“am i— yeah” jaemin laughs, dry and all. “i’m done, are you happy? can i go home now?”

“no” you pull him by the front of his jacket to kiss him, it’s cute that jaemin is clearly surprised by it, the broken whimper he allows to escape when you bite into the swell of his bottom lip is even cuter. his hand comes to cradle your jaw, and for a few sweet moments you forget you’re in front of your building of occupancy. you pull away with your cheeks hot as you rest your foreheads together, suddenly amused.

“thought you would’ve let your parents set you up with your ex”.

“and you didn’t think to ask me?”

“i mean— we never talked about.. this”.

“because you said it would be weird!”

“oh so i’m the bad guy now?”

“yes! yes you are!”

“i told you i was in love with you all you had to say was—“

“shut up” you snap, cupping his impossibly perfect face between your hands. “lord i like you so much, love you an excruciating amount and i miss you all the time even though i see you everyday, you’re so annoying and you have that addicting smile and it’s— you piss me off”.

“as you’ve said before”.

“but.. you know, guess it wouldn’t hurt to try”.

he kisses you again and you can’t help how you smile against his own lips.

“you wanna come back with me?”

jaemin pretends to think it over, as if your fingers aren’t entwined and you don’t already have butterflies alive in your stomach. “i’m worried, what happens if my helmet swallows your tiny little head whole”.

“so romantic na, i’ll have to give you an award for that one”.

“aww, really?”

“no”.

jaemin sticks out his tongue, one last peck given to your lips before you two were off.

when you get back to your place, jaemin falls asleep on your lap midway through the movie like an exhausted old man, or maybe just the young surgeon subjected to the torturous work hours at guleum grave hospital just trying his best. you can’t believe how fond you are, gaze brazen in a manner that renders you nauseous. unable to resist, you reached out to tuck strands of his hair behind his ear.

you hate yourself, it’s just the slightest bit terrifying, you’re fearful at the oncoming future and the enigma of na jaemin in his all. you just want to make sure he wants this, the mushy and sticky feelings which come with the whole process. he is a mystery, yes, but he’s also kind, and patient, and so full of boundless devotion that he probably isn’t even sure he retains.

jaemin jerks awake once jeno flicks on the lights of the living room, but he settles down quickly once he realizes he’s in your lap, you run your fingers through his hair, quietly aching.

he blinks up at you slowly. “i missed the movie”.

“you did” you murmur, “wanna go to bed?”

“yeah” jaemin grabs ahold of your hand in his hair, fingers intertwined, beginning to leave light kisses on your wrist, just above your pulse. he’s so cute like this, so soft looking with his delicate feeling lips and soft all around the edges. you might get sick from the absorbent amount of love you happen to be feeling, his eyelashes flutter in your direction, a smile tugging at his lips which you mirror.

it’s a match made on this soul sucking earth. it’s only a little perfect.

[sir-gio22]

WHO'S BENNY? -Ben Shelton

prompt: you were scrolling on tiktok when you saw a video of a girl flirting with your boyfriend

Warnings: none? A bit of teasing and dirty talk (not too dirty)

Credits: @b0r3dtod3ath I got really inspired by their fic about a fan calling Ben 'benny' so I wrote this

you have been dating Ben for about a year now, he’s a good boyfriend, kind, sweet, charming, clingy, hot, and the list goes on for at least a whole tennis court…

you aren’t someone who gets jealous easily, and Ben is a loyal partner, he would never imagine going with someone else, who would be saying all the things they want to do to him every time they see him shirtless and sweaty and make him embarrassed trying not to get too excited if not you?

just kidding (maybe not) he loves you so much he would be desperate without you.

after a long day, you finally find some peace, sitting on the king-size bed you and your boyfriend shares in your hotel room and scrolling on TikTok, you look at your FYP, some funny videos pops up, you look at the time, 9pm, ben is still training and you haven’t had dinner yet, you miss him a lot since you didn’t have the chance to see him today.

searching his name on TikTok, some really good edits pops up as the first videos, after his profile of course. you already follow all of the accounts (not with your main, verified, account tho, that’d be risky, so you created a fake fan of Ben account to get freaky drooling with the editors), macaaroonss, mag1.c, sheltixx, clouislxve, and dialedins (with her very bold captions that would send her to jail if you or Ben’d sue her, but you don’t because you, obviously, relate to them).

you like all their new posts, then, scrolling a bit more, a new video of Ben pops up, it was from yesterday, after his training, he was leaving the courts and a bunch of fans asked for photos and autographs. he was happy to do it, of course, he loves his fans, but, while taking the photo, one hugged his arm, and it looked like she was clinging onto him for dear life, as the video continues, the girl keeps trying to ger Bens attention even when he’s talking to other fans.

that angered you, you felt…jealous?

looking at your boyfriend getting hugged and talking to other people usually didn’t bother you, but this time was different, the girl wasn’t just ‘talking’ to him, she was flirting!

the videos show her touching Ben’s bicep, squeezing it, and he looked uncomfortable, but she kept smiling ans said:

“hey Benny! I really like how you play…I’m getting really into tennis because of you…would you be up to some private coaching with me?”

her voice was filled with lust, her tone was flirty, and her lips curled up in a smile filled with hope. it was clear that she wasn’t someone who ever got a ‘no’ as an answer and she wasn’t expecting one now.

she gets even closer to Ben, eager to know the answer.

you were eager to know it too, the tension building up in your body, your heart aching. you trust Ben, you two were in love after all…would he really cheat on you? the girl was pretty, you had to say that, but he was yours and yours only. you felt…possesive, for the first time during your relationship, scared he’d choose someone else over you.

and he says:

“i’m sorry. who’s Benny? never heard of him. but if you want a coach i know a good one who is now teaching in the next court” and heads out of the courts.

a sigh of relief escaped your lips and your head, which you didn’t realized you lifted with eagerness, plops on the soft pillow. you stay like that for a few seconds, enjoying the new feeling of relief that got in your heart.

then you save the video, to watch in case you ever feel insecure and think Ben would choose some pretty person over you.

you decided to take a break from your watching session and lay on the bed in a starfish position, taking all the space, you throw your phone at the end of the bed, hoping it won’t fall, and think about how your life has been much better since you met Ben.

how you met, how he helped you when you needed money, or a shoulder to cry on, how lovely he is even when you’re mad at him, how he treats you like royality, how…perfect he is.

your eyelids felt heavy, you slowly fall in a sleep you needed all day, dreaming of Ben winning the US open, hitting one last winner on the championship point, falling on the ground, racket slipping off his hand and on the humid court, eyes watery, he jumps up to shake his opponents and the umpire’s hand, then he screams and do the ‘phone celebration’, or maybe a new special one he kept for this victory. the he sports you in his box, he runt to you, cups your face in his big, sweaty, hands and kiss you. a passionate kiss, you can feel all his happiness by how his liès are moving. he’s holding back, you know you’ll be getting a needy and cocky Ben tonight.

you wake up, even if you did’t want because it was a beautiful dream, by a weight pressed on your body and two strong arms hugging your waist.

“mhhh hey babe, I’m back” Ben mumbles, his face pressed against your neck, pressing light kisses under your jawline.

“hey, how was practice?” you say in a sleepy voice, your mind still half-asleep.

“ugh…tiring, like always, i really think my dad and physical trainer wants to kill me this week” he complains

“you say that every time you train on clay Ben, they just have to make you run a lot because the ball bounces lower, you know that”

“ugh I know…”

he keeps giving little pecks to your neck and mumbling some ‘i love you’ and other incomprensible words.

“Ben?” you seek his attention

“mh? what is it, babe?”

“why don’t you let other people call you Benny?”

“what do you mean? it has always been my nickname” he lifts his head, confused

“you didn’t see the video?”

“what video?”

“I’ll show you, give me my phone”

he lifts his body and take your phone from the end of the bed and hands it to you, you open tiktok and go to your saved videos, tapping on the right one.

he looks at it, recalling the moment in his mind, a small smile forming on his face and he looks at you.

“of course I didn’t let her call me that, she was flirting, love, she isn’t a friend, I don’t want people I don’t know calling me how the people I care about do. and she was hanging onto me like she was my girl, but nah…i already have the most beautiful partner, don’t need anyone else”

an ‘awww’ escapes your lips and you look in his eyes, feeling the admiration and love he has for you.

“and she asked for private coaching, the only person I’d give that to is you, love. what do you think? i could book a court…only for us…we can play a bit…then what happens happens” he says in a flirty tone

“Ben!” you scold him, this is not the right moment to flirt

“sorry, babe, but you know i can’t hold myself when i see you all painting and sweaty when we play” he nips at your neck

“i know, i know…i learned my lesson the last time, but i don’t wanna talk about it now, my legs are still sore”

“cmon, love, i didn’t go that hard”

“try being in my position next time, then we can talk about it”

he chuckles and kiss you passionately, not a lust kiss, one filled with love, a clingy one.

“Benny…” you aren’t calling him or scolding him, just saying his name, recalling the video.

“your Benny, love”

[tmnt-reticent]

Well, he’s not exactly the ‘one and only’ in these circumstances but u get what he means

So excited for Reticent to be Cabin 9’s rep in this event!!! Gonna work extra hard to make sure we win this one‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯🔥🔥‼️‼️

Apologies if the eyes look a little goofy I’m struggling to draw them today (and I may or may not have drawn this whole thing in 9 hours straight please save me I gotta work on an ask now too-)

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Transcript under the cut!

1: “Welcome to the Cabin 9 Craft Fair!”

2: “It’s *very* exclusive”

“No it’s not, Mike!”

3: “Over here is Raph’s stall, sewing! What sorta stuff are you workin’ on, Raphie?”

4: “Don’t call me that. Go back to your station, Mike.”

“You got it!”

5: “And Nerdo is running… knitting? Isn’t that basically the same thing as sewing?”

6: “Excuse me?!”

“Yup, leaving now!”

7: “And what’re you workin’ on, Case?”

8: “Painting Swiss Army knives! I used to do it with my mom-“

“YOU HAVE A MOM?!”

9: “And what’re you guys doing?”

“Scrap-booking. Dee is being my apprentice ‘cause he didn’t know what to do.”

(He was lonely)

10: “As you can see, there’s a whole bunch to do, so come on down to the Cabin 9 craft fair! Courtesy of the one and only Hamato Michelangelo!”

[xxspringmelodyxx]

Betrayal~

Hello my lovely readers! This story takes place way back before the Archons battle, when Guizhong was alive. The day is your birthday and you were so excited to see Morax, hoping it would be just you two…however, this was not the case. And it potentially could end up terribly. So have fun with that! Sorry if it feels a little fast paced, its a wee bit late where I am and I want to go to bed, but I was afraid I would forget this story tomorrow. Anyways, enjoy~<333333 Part II

I walked down my usual path surrounded by rocks and vegetation, enjoying the fresh smell of gardenia flowers surrounding the area. 

Some of the people I passed by wished me a happy birthday, to which I thanked them. With every step I took, my excitement increased as today was the day I got to see Morax again. He had asked me to take a walk with him so we could spend some time together. You figured it was a little gift for your birthday, which was more than enough for you. Seeing him meant everything to you, especially his smile. 

I looked over and noticed a small flower was slowly wilting. I looked above it and saw that it was hidden under a rock, making it impossible for the poor thing to get any water or sunlight. I quickly walked over to it and placed my hand on it, bringing it back to life, showing a vibrant lavender color. I then moved my hand away, letting the flower head follow me. I elongated it just enough so that it was outside of the rock, allowing it to get proper sunlight. 

However, that was when I realized it still needed water to live, to which it would get none due to the rock covering it. I huffed as I realized it would be hard to help the poor thing. 

I looked up at the boulder, seeing the size of it. In my head, it didn’t look too bad to move. I may have to use a bunch of my energy, but it would be worth it. I got up and walked to the boulder, placing my hands on it. I began to push, using my legs to push into the ground. I tried so very hard to move it out of the way, but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get it. 

I let go of the rock, crossing my arms in frustration. 

“Stupid rock anyways.” I said.

Then, out of nowhere, the boulder began to shake, causing the whole ground to shake. I looked up to see the rock slowly rise up, making me slightly gasp. The ground began to shake harder, causing me to lose my footing and falling over. 

A small yelp came out of my mouth, expecting to feel the cold, hard ground hit my back. 

But it never came. Instead, I felt an arm wrap around my waist, hoisting me back up into their chest. I looked up and saw none other than Morax himself. My heart almost leaped out of my chest as I saw him, seeing his intense stare as he moved the rock out of the way. He placed the rock far away so it wouldn’t cover any other plants, allowing all of them to get the proper sunlight and water they needed when it came. He then looked down at me after dropping the rock, smirking at me. 

“Did you really try and move a boulder just so you could save a flower?” He asked with amusement. Your face heated up as you felt embarrassed. You shoved him playfully, telling him to shut up.

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed. I thought it was cute. But you would have never been able to lift or move that rock by yourself.” He teased

You glared at him.

“I'll have you know that I was making progress! In fact, the only reason you were able to lift the boulder up in the first place was because of me loosening it up for you.” You spoke back. 

He chuckled as he ruffled your hair, turning on his heel.

“Let’s go.” He said, taking your hand and pulling you towards him. Your stomach turned, butterflies going throughout your stomach. 

–

“So where are we walking to?” You asked.

“We are going to see Guizhong.” he said, making me stop.

“I thought it was just going to be me and you today.” You said, not liking the fact that he was going to see her.

“It will be while we walk to her place. Then I thought we could hang out together. It will be a fun time, don’t you think?” He asked.

You hesitated a bit, knowing good and well that he wouldn’t take any time to talk to you once he sees her. It has been going on like this for some time now, almost 2 years to be exact. He would ask you to be with him for ‘alone’ time, but in reality, he just wanted to talk to you before he got to Guizhong so he could get all of his nerves out. Then, once he sees her, it's like you don’t exist to him anymore. 

“I guess.” You replied quietly, continuing to walk with him. Your heart began to hurt as you walked closer and closer to Guizhongs place. You knew she was in love with him as well, but a part of you had hoped that Morax would fall in love with you instead. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that it’s going that way at all. 

“So, what were you thinking we all do?” You asked, your voice sounding more down than usual, but Morax never noticed. He was too excited to see Guizhong that he barely paid attention to you, once again. 

“Morax?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, did you say something?” He asked

“I asked what we were going to do.” You said again

“Oh! Well I was thinking we could all go out by the pond and have a nice picnic. Guizhong made the food, so all we have to do is get there right before the sun goes down.”

“Okay, that actually doesn't seem bad.” You said, making him smile down at you.

–

It took you guys a good 10 minutes to get to Guizhongs place. During that time, you both talked to each other continuously about the randomest things. Morax laughed with you multiple times, making your mind go crazy. However, the smile that was once plastered on your face was soon wiped off once you saw Guizhong come out. She smiled at Morax and hugged him. You looked up and saw Morax blush as he held her tightly, breaking you more and more.

What’s worse is that he hasn’t said anything about your birthday yet…did he forget?

You were starting to doubt him as he began to ignore you. He took Guizhongs hand in his and they walked together, leaving you behind. You sighed as you treaded slowly behind them. 

You watched them giggle with each other, seeing Morax wrap his arm around her, pulling her in. Just like he did with you.

You were so confused. When you were alone with him, it's like you were his world…but then when she arrived, it's like he didn’t even know you. You looked down at your feet, trying to hide your tears. Every now and then, a single tear drop would fall and touch the ground beneath you. The plants that were touched by the tear slowly wilted and died, but you didn’t do anything to fix it. If you tried, it would just happen again in another area. 

“Ah! We are here!” Morax said as he quickly sat down with Guizhong. She got the food out and placed them out nicely.

You looked down and realized it was all food that you couldn’t eat. They were all made with a specific ingredient that could kill you due to a stupid allergy you had. 

The two began to eat, enjoying the delicious food. Morax took notice of you not eating and spoke

“Come on, Y/n. The food is really good!” He said

“Morax, I can’t eat any of that. It has Mericila in it. You should know that.” You replied. Mericila was an ingredient that was very abundant in these types of areas. It comes from a Mericila root. The root itself won’t hurt you, it’ll just make you sneeze or cough. But once the liquidy substance is extracted, that’s when it can be bad news for you. It runs throughout your whole family.

“Oh…I’m sorry, Y/n. I totally forgot you couldn’t eat it.” Guizhong said in a fake tone. You gritted your teeth as you tried your best to hold back, knowing fully well that she knew of your weakness.

“It’s fine. I just won’t eat.” You said, putting your knees up to your chest. There was a good distance between you and Morax, almost 5 feet. 

–

Hours passed, and you have yet to say a word. Morax was too occupied with Guizhong to notice, which just made you more frustrated. You couldn’t stand for this anymore, you wouldn’t stand for this. He keeps playing with your feelings and it's making you angry.

The grass around you began to fade into a blackish color, slowly wilting away. That was when Morax noticed and scooted over to you, smiling wide and everything. If you weren’t mad at him, you would’ve thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. “Hey, what's wrong?” He asked, placing his hand in yours. Usually, you would hold onto his hand, expressing to him what was bothering you. But that was only because it wasn’t about him. This time, it was. You then shocked Morax when you quickly jerked your hand away from him, concerning him.

“Y/n?” His voice was no longer in his happy tone, and his smile faded away as he saw you weren’t acting like your usual self.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” You said in a monotone voice.

“Obviously you’re not. The plants around you are dying, and that only happens when you aren’t feeling good.” He said, following the wilted areas. He saw that there were little circular patches of dead plants farther back from where you guys were walking. He then looked back at you and saw that your cheeks were stained with tears, alerting him. He grabbed your face, wiping them away.

“Y/n?! Talk to me! What’s wrong?” He asked with worry. 

Again, you just pushed him away from you. You then stood up and began to walk away. 

“Where are you going?” He called out to you.

“I’m going home.” You said as you walked away from them, each step causing the plants to die. Morax quickly got up and ran after you. 

“Y/n wait!” He yelled out, catching up to you.

When you weren’t stopping, he ran faster and grabbed your wrist, turning you around to look at him. 

That’s when he saw you full on crying.

“Y/n, please. Tell me what's wrong!” He begged, grabbing your face. 

Guizhong’s eyes followed Morax, seeing him hold you close. She grimaced as she saw how close you two were.

You pushed him away.

“Go away. Go back to Guizhong. That’s who you’re more excited to see anyways.” You said

He looked at you confused, not understanding what you were going on about.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on Morax. I know you only wanted to be with her, but you didn’t want me to feel left out. Well guess what, I always feel left out! Every time you see Guizhong, it’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore. Like I’m nothing but air.”

“Y/n, that’s not true, I like you too-”

“Yes but not in the way you like Guizhong!” You interrupted, making him shut up.

There was a slight pause between the both of you, but you managed to gain the courage to speak up.

“I’m gonna tell you something right now, and after I do, I want you to make a choice.” You said, making him look up at you.

“For years, I have loved you. Not just in a platonic way…in a romantic way. I have known you much longer than her…I have always been by your side…yet one day she shows up and you have never looked at me the same.” You confessed, shocking Morax.

“Every day that went by, there wasn’t a single one where I didn’t think of you. Every night, I prayed that I could get the courage to finally admit how I feel to you, but when I was finally ready, it was all ruined once I saw you with her. I see the way you look at her. You’re completely infatuated with her. But then you go on and do these things to me that are so sweet and full of love when she’s not around. It’s like you are playing with my feelings!” You said

“Y/n, I never meant to hurt you…and I never wanted to play with your feelings.”

“Then make your choice! I can’t keep going on like this. Pretending that everything is okay. Pretending that I don’t love you. I can’t keep letting you hurt me like this.”

“What are you saying?” He asked

“I”m asking you to make your choice! Who do you love more? Because you can’t love both of us…it would just cause chaos.” You replied

“Please, don’t make me choose between you and her.” He begged, guilt filling him up.

“Why? Because you’ll choose her?” You asked, your heart crying out, hoping he would say the opposite.

A long silence went between you two, the wind being the only sound that was heard. 

“Yeah…because I’ll choose her.” He said, his anger getting the better of him. 

Your eyes widened as tears fell down them. Your breath hitched at his words. You knew it would come, you just weren’t ready for it yet. 

Morax’s eyes widened as well, not meaning a word he said.

“Y/n, I-”

“Save it. I guess all those years mean nothing to you. What a wonderful birthday gift. I’ll never forget it.” You said as you turned and ran away.

Morax’s eyes widened as he finally realized what day it was today, The day you were born.

He tried to run after you, but you raised your hand up. Within an instant, a fresh and strong wall made out of tree bark formed in front of him, blocking him and forcing him to stay back. No matter where he ran to, a new wall would be created, making it impossible for him to run to you.

He made his decision, and that was all you needed.

–

You ran into the middle of a forest, knowing no one would be able to find you. You cried and cried, not caring about the plants dying next to you. Small little creatures ran up to you, rubbing their bodies against you to help calm you down. However, as they did, they started to cry out in pain, alerting you. You quickly wiped your tears away and apologized, helping them back to their normal health. 

You then placed your hand on the plants and healed them, making them come back to life. 

A small bunny nuzzled its nose on your leg, cuddling up to you. You chuckled sadly, grabbing the small creature. You held it close and enjoyed the warm and fuzzy feeling. 

You placed your hand on its back and began to pet it, feeling yourself calm down. However, as you were doing that, you saw the bracelet Morax had gotten you for your birthday two years ago. It was to signify your friendship, and you have had it on ever since.

You grabbed it with your other hand and slowly slipped it off, your heart slowly breaking as you felt the strange emptiness on your wrist. 

You stared at the bracelet with pain, reminiscing on all your guys’ old memories.

He no longer needed you anymore. You guys couldn’t be friends anymore, not after that. Ugh, you felt so stupid. You should’ve just kept your feelings to yourself. At least you and him would still be friends. But then again, it would just hurt you more and more every time you saw him with Guizhong. 

But no matter, what’s done is done. You can’t go back. There is nothing left in that relationship anymore. It’s over.

You took the bracelet and threw it far away, knowing that if you kept it, it would just bring bad memories now.

You looked down at the bunny in your hands, smiling sadly at it.

“I guess it’s just you guys and me, huh little guy?” You said, talking about the creatures of all shapes and sizes that surrounded you.

Morax was the only person who truly understood you. Every other archon thought that you were nothing but a weak archon. A girl who can’t rule over people. But that was something you never wanted to do. You never wanted to control anyone. All you wanted was to be seen as their equal. You didn’t want to be seen as a scary and powerful archon. But you also didn’t want to be seen as weak. That’s why you never got along with the other archons, only the citizens. But even then, you could never quite get close to the citizens due to them thinking you were superior over them. They treated you differently and that is what separated you from them.

But Morax, he treated you like he truly loved you…until now.

Maybe you were wrong about him. Maybe he only treated you that way because you were the only person who stood by him no matter what….but now that Guizhong is in the picture, an archon that is also powerful…and more beautiful as other archons would say, maybe he started to change his view of you.

Suddenly, you felt weird. It was something you weren’t used to.

You didn’t feel anything.

You didn’t feel sad, angry, regret, love, nothing. You felt…empty once you came to your own reality.

All you had was yourself, no one else. You couldn’t rely on anyone anymore. 

And that was what flipped your switch from being a sweet and innocent girl, to one who didn’t have a care in the world anymore. A girl who did what she wanted, no matter what anyone else thought. 

–

Months had passed and Morax still hadn’t heard anything from you. He felt horrible and the guilt wouldn’t stop building inside of him. He still can’t believe what he said to you. It was just his anger getting the best of him…letting it choose for him. 

Of course he loved you. But he thought you never loved him that way, hence why he kept trying to see Guizhong. He was hoping she could help get rid of his feelings for you…but no matter what, he couldn’t get you off of his mind. 

That was until you confessed to him a few months back, changing him entirely. He wanted to confess to you, tell him that he loves you just as much, if not more. But once you made him choose….its like he wasn’t himself. And now, because of that, you were long gone. He hates himself because of it and just wishes he could go back in time to fix everything. What’s worse is that no one has seen you, not even the citizens who you loved talking to. 

Guizhong would try and comfort him, but it never worked. She would try and distract him, but every little thing he saw reminded him of you. 

Now every night, he cries himself to sleep, praying that one day, he would get to see you once more and apologize. The guilt was eating him up and he wasn’t sure what he would do if he couldn’t see you once more. He just wanted to fix everything.

But little did he know that once he did find you, it would be the last.

_____________

[the-guilty-writer]

We Need You That Way

Request from anon: Hey Gill, love your work bestie anyway I have a request for Spence being with BAU reader but she's dyslexic and idk there on a case and she's insecure because some of the cops/agents don't think reader could be an fbi agent yk and Spencer just consoles her super fluff stuff anyway feel free to ignore me 

Spencer Reid x gn!BAU!reader

Summary: Spencer reminds dyslexic reader that they’re a valuable part of the team.

A/N: While doing research on dyslexia I learned a lot about how it can affect more than reading and writing, but that it also presents differently in everyone. I remember reading a Spencer fic a long time ago with a dyslexic reader, but I couldn’t find it. (I will keep searching for it, though anon!)

I DID NOT HAVE A CONSULT on this fic, so if anyone with dyslexia has an issue with it, please let me know how I can improve. I do my research, but there is only so much a search engine can tell me. My messages are always open and I’m always happy to learn about how I can make a fic better when it features a reader with specific traits I’m unfamiliar with.

CW: reader is dyslexic (this shouldn’t be a warning?), the deputy makes a rude comment to reader, small southern town slander (I live in a small southern town and can confirm that the stereotypes are true. Someone save me from this hell please.)

---

“Why does every small town we go to have a bunch of roads named after a bunch of people from the same family?” you huffed slightly.

You had just gotten back from visiting a crime scene; something that should have taken about an hour and ended up being far longer. The GPS had died and there was no cell phone service, leaving you to navigate via old-fashioned map, which wasn’t exactly your strongest suit. Mixing up left and right, finding out that you were holding the map upside down, and old road names made the journey less than ideal and exceedingly frustrating.

Most people thought dyslexia only went as far as mixing up words and struggling to read, but it got in the way of other things as well; today’s backroad adventure was just one example. It wasn’t often that you let those things get you down, but today you couldn’t help it.

After seeing you come back to the station so defeated, Spencer took you to grab a much-needed cup of coffee from the small kitchenette. It wasn’t a real break, but it was enough for you to cool off from your frustrations.

“Looking back at the town records, the Baskin family owned about one fourth of the town land for three generations and the Silvan family owned a third of the town for two generations before holding prominent government positions. Given the regional tradition it makes sense that so many roads are named after them,” Spencer sprouted a fact. It made you grin.

“My great grandpappy held onto the land as long as he could,” one of the old deputies said, though you could barely understand through his thick southern-drawl. “Broke his heart when he had to let it go. It’s devastating the first murder occured on the road named in his honor.”

It’s more devastating that someone is… you know… dead, You thought, but kept yourself from speaking. “And which road was that?” you asked politely, opening up your case file, but knowing it would be faster just to ask.

“Harper,” the deputy said. “There’s only one Harper road in this whole town.”

“Are you right?” you looked down at your file again, taking your time as much as you could, but still in a rush.

“What is it?” Spencer asked.

“I thought I just came back from the scene at Harper,” you told him.

“I’m right,” the deputy replied defiantly.

“I wasn’t-” you wanted to explain that sometimes you would reach for a word like “sure” but a word with similar meaning, like “right” would come out instead. Dyslexia didn’t just make you mix up letters and sounds, but words sometimes too, especially since you were distracted by your files.

But the deputy didn’t give you a chance to speak any further. “I know I’m right! What kind of FBI agent can’t keep track of where crime scenes are?”

Spencer interrupted before it could go any further. “Let’s go note the difference on the profile board, okay?”

“Yeah,” you replied to him quietly and the two of you quickly made your way to the other room.

Spencer shut the door behind you and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. People questioned your ability to do things at times, but never so loud and direct; most of it was whispered behind your back. You’d spend time pretending that you didn’t hear the insults, pretending that they didn’t get to you until you were alone and could cry silently to yourself. This time you had no time, no room, to ignore the interaction that occurred. Your vulnerability was on complete display.

You threw your files down on the table and sunk into a chair, feeling crushed. “He’s got a point,” you muttered.

“He doesn’t,” Spencer said, sitting next to you.

“It took me two hours to figure out how to get to the crime scene today, Spencer.” You should have felt bad about using such a bitter tone with him, but you couldn’t help it. “It wouldn’t have taken Morgan that long. Or you, or anyone else on the team.”

“Well when Morgan drives it makes all of us carsick,” Spencer said. “And no one lets me drive.”

“Spencer, you hate driving,” you pointed out. “You get all squirrelly.”

“I did technically fail the offensive driving course at the academy.” Spencer smiled sheepishly. “But that doesn't make me any less important to the team.”

“Of course it doesn't. You're a literal genius. I'm… just me.” Your voice quieted at the end, what was frustration showing as what it really was— insecurity.

“I think just you is great,” Spencer replied. “And you help me slow down when thinking through cases.”

“Wow, I slow you down… thanks, Spence. That makes me feel so much better.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

“It’s a good thing,” Spencer said sincerely. “I jump to conclusions sometimes. You make me slow down and catch the things I missed. My consultation profiles have been far more accurate since you joined the team, and when we’re out on cases we have to revise the profile less often.”

“Really?” You tried not to show how baffled you truly were. You knew that occasionally you helped slow down Spencer’s million-mile an hour brain, but you didn’t think it was helpful for anyone but yourself.

“Do you know why Hotch brings you to court the most?” Spencer asked.

You bypassed telling Spencer that his sentence could be taken in two very different connotations. “Because it would be a waste of time to have me review files when I can’t read them?”

“Because you can tell the story of the case as an experience instead of just a list of evidence. It makes it easier for the jury to understand what’s going on and more dangerous people get put away because of it,” Spencer explained.

“And Garcia always asks you to help review initial video footage for a reason. It’s like you can see the crime scene without being there, so when we get there in-person we have a better idea of where to start. Your spacial awareness is better than the rest of ours. We can build the profile faster.”

“Do I really help that much?”

“Yeah, you do.” Spencer looked at you softly.

He reached for you, pulling you into a tight embrace. You let yourself fall into his arms. The comfort and reassurance of his words cradled you, building your confidence back up. “Keep being ‘just you.’ We need you that way.”

[duhragonball]

Thanks for answering my ask, well, about the sparkling zero thing is that the game will feature some what if stories and scenarios that looked like fan fiction which might be rather interesting to hear you talk about, I am getting the game today to form my opinions but in case you do look at those I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on them

I finished all of the Story Modes that were available to me, and I have to say, I'm not impressed with the What If scenarios. But then again, I wasn't expecting to be in the first place.

Most of the Budokai and Sparking games had What-If content of some sort, but it's usually pretty thin. Budokai 3 had some grand plans to give every character a story mode, but by the time the actual game released, all most of the characters got was a bunch of sound files from the scrapped stories. You unlocked these as "Memories of [X]" capsules in the game. Either they cost a lot of money, or you had to wish for them with Dragon Balls, I forget which.

I remember the Android 16 one had audio of him having some sort of climactic match with Goku, and there's audio of Goku conceding defeat and accepting that 16 will kill him, but I think he spares him. So it's a what-if scenario in my book. So was that Uub story mode that actually made it into the game, where Uub has to save the world from Omega Shenron. That was pretty cool, but the "Memories of..." capsules pointed to a much bigger project that never materialized.

Other than that, the most memorable what-if content was probably that "Fateful Brothers" think in BT3, where Raditz turns good and Goku takes him in. They have to stop Piccolo from killing him, and he warns him about Vegeta and Nappa. I think it ends with Raditz meeting Bardock in hell.

But a lot of it is pretty flimsy stuff. Not bad, just nothing earth-shaking. It's usually just some cutscenes to set up an unusual match that you could just as easily arrange yourself in vs. mode.

And that's kind of the gripe I have with Sparking Zero's what-ifs, because they're really just minor tweaks to the original story. There's one where Frieza and his goons invade Earth instead of the Z-Fighters facing him on Namek. And it's fine, but it's basically the same series of battles you'd fight in the "correct" version of events. There's one where Vegeta and Trunks actually cooperate in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and they end up getting the big win over Cell, which sounds awesome, but it's not all that different from going through the Cell Saga normally with Vegeta, Gohan, and Goku.

I haven't unlocked much of this stuff myself, mainly because I'm still getting the hang of the game, and a lot of these branching paths require a lot more skill to activate the right win condition. But I've been watching Kirran and Grant play the game on Goodtimes Zone, and I've found myself enjoying their live reactions more than the stuff they're reacting to. And they like the what if stuff we're getting, but I keep noticing a hint of disappointment, like they were expecting a bit more. More branching paths, and bigger divergences from the canon story.

For example, they were hoping Cooler would show up in the middle of any Frieza-related branches, and yeah, that seems obvious, doesn't it? Hell, King Cold is in the game too, isn't he? Do a thing where he shows up on Namek, or maybe have Cooler wipe out the Androids because he's here to get his own revenge on Goku.

Instead we got... well, I'll cut for spoilers if anyone's interested...

We got Gohan Black. Now this might sound pretty impressive at first, but it kind of doesn't work. So the what-if scenario is that Gohan actually beats Frieza in Res-F before Goku arrives to help, and then Gohan starts training more seriously, so he joins the U7 team for the Destroyer Invitational and defeats Hit to win the whole thing. (Oddly, you don't get to play Gohan vs. Hit, which seems like an oversight in a what-if scenario, but whatever.)

So when the Zamasu arc starts, it turns out that Zamasu steals Gohan's body instead of Goku's in this version, because Gohan was stronger at the time. And that's fine, but it doesn't actually change very much. The real Gohan joins Goku, Vegeta, and Trunks in the battle, but it's the same Zamasu and Black. The only difference is that Kyle Herbert is playing Black in this version instead of Sean Schemmel. Actually I guess in Japanese it might not be that different at all, since Masako Nozawa plays Gohan and Goku.

Gohan Black doesn't even look that different from Goku Black. He just kind of looks like the original Goku Black with a different haircut. He fuses with Zamasu in the end, and they actually changed the Fused Zamasu model to reflect this, but they didn't have to change it very much.

And you have the real Gohan in the story, which is something new, but here's the problem: You already play the Zamasu arc in four other story modes: Goku, Vegeta, Future Trunks, and Goku Black. And it plays out the same way every time.

Good guys vs. Black

Good guys vs. Black and Zamasu

Good guys vs. Black and Zamasu again

Good guys vs. fused Zamasu

Good guys vs. fused Zamasu (corrupted)

I was already sick of it before I bought the game, because I hate the Zamasu arc. But for some reason the game devs thought we should play it five times. And yeah, Gohan remembers the damn jar for the Mafuba in his version, but so what? I still have to look at that ugly-ass stage the whole time, and I still have to listen to Zamasu preach during the fight.

As I understand it, there's a what-if where Trunks joins the U7 team for the Tournament of Power, and that also sounds like a decent idea, except it's kind of the same problem. We see the Tournament of Power in five story modes already: Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Frieza, and Jiren. I hope Trunks has something fresh to do when he runs through it a sixth time, but I'm not optimistic.

It just feels kind of weak. Maybe they're saving cooler what-if scenarios for DLC, but that seems like a poor strategy when the base game has such weak what-if scenarios. It leaves me skeptical that they even know how to write a cool one. I mean, you've got a bunch of GT and movie guys on the roster. This should be easy. Middle schoolers do this stuff. Here's some ideas I thought of off the cuff.

Goku invites Cell to compete in the Tournament of Power instead of Frieza.

Kefla defeats Goku and now she has to defeat Jiren and Goku's teammates to win the tournament. Vegeta and Gohan fuse into Vegehan in a last-ditch effort.

Golden Frieza Black.

Cell wins the Cell Games and accidentally releases Buu from his ball while terrorizing the Earth, and now he has to team up with the Z-fighters to stop him.

Dabura convinces Babidi to seal Buu up again, and they do evil stuff with Majin Vegeta on their team.

Vegito kills Super Buu, so now Dragon Ball Super plays out with Vegito.

Piccolo survives Nappa's blast and fuses with Kami to sweep the next several dozen episodes' worth of bad guys.

Ginyu Force-Kamikaze Fireballs War.

Turles shows up on Namek and kicks Frieza's ass with fruit power.

Gero sics Android 13 on the Z-fighters during the Saiyan invasion, so Vegeta and Nappa have to do a truce to stop him.

I could probably think of better ideas with some more time, but the point is that none of this would require a lot of extra assets that aren't already in the base game. But they would involve a lot of different battles and settings that you wouldn't see in the other story paths. I don't understand why they didn't get more creative with things. They had all the stuff they needed. All they had to do was think outside the box a little.

[starwarsmum]

Day 10 for Maribat BioFamily September y'all! And today it's: We're Hiring

@maribat-calendar-events

“I just can't move here full time, even if I wanted to,” Marinette protested, head buried in her arms. Summer was nearly over and everyone was trying to convince her to stay in Gotham for the whole year. As much as she loved spending time with them, she missed her parents and friends in France. 

“I'm just saying that if you wanted to work with Wayne Fashion, we would absolutely hire you now,” Tim said slyly, working on his laptop at the dining table. Marinette looked up and glared at him, but he merely shrugged. “It wouldn't be a full-time gig or anything, and you'd probably have to go to school with Damian, but you'd be working for a major name in fashion.”

“Please, I've had offers from the style queen and Gabriel - pre-takedown, obviously - and Jagged Stone endorses me. I don't need your nepotism, thank you very much. Also, stop trying to think up things to tempt me! I doubt Damian would like you using him like that.”

Tim pulled a face at her but didn't say anything. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Tim started up again. “Look, I'm not saying you have to live in Gotham if you don't want to. But I am willing to make a genuine offer to partner with you. I've been looking to hire MDC for ages, so it isn't technically nepotism.”

“...I'm not sure how to feel about it being ‘technically not nepotism’,” Marinette said drily, doodling designs into a sketchbook idly. “Besides, I like being commission based, I get to turn down anyone I don't want to work with. And I get to work with a greater variety of people. But maybe I could work out a couple of pieces for you.”

“Seriously?” Tim jerked his gaze away from his work and looked at her excitedly. “No, wait, seriously, you would? Because I really want an MDC original, and if you would let me commission you, it would make my year.”

Marinette laughed and promised to sit down with him that evening and get a design or two under way.

_ _ _

While Tim was waiting for Marinette that evening, he had brought up a bunch of saved images of different clothes he liked the styles of. He also, at Marinette's command, grabbed a range of his most comfortable clothes, although she hadn't said why. 

“Sorry, I lost track of time,” Marinette chirped as she burst into the room. She had told him that morning that she was planning to walk Titus with the demon brat that afternoon and apparently she had only just returned because she was flushed and slightly out of breath. Even her hair, usually in neat bunches, was loose and slightly mussed as though wind had been running through it. 

“No problem,” Tim replied easily, sitting forward in his chair eagerly. As he launched into an explanation of what he wanted for the first commission, his sister nodded along, making notes in her sketchbook and asking seemingly random questions. 

An hour later, she finished asking him questions and he had exhausted every possible description of what he wanted, she sketched out several designs. One in particular stood out to him, a casually scruffy suit jacket. She explained that it would look worn but be impeccably stitched so that it wouldn't be worn out easily. 

“Just based on what you were saying about wanting to mess with your board of directors,” she added, highlighting various additional aspects. “Obviously I'll make it out of easily washable fabric, in case you spill coffee on it. And it'll be durable, because I know you like to skate around the halls of Wayne Enterprises.”

“It's perfect, Nette,” Tim breathed, grinning widely at her. She looked pleased with herself, jotting down last minute notes before they discussed pricing and timescales. Then she started the process all over again to design clothes for non-business use.

It was nearly midnight by the time they finished and Tim called an end to their chat. When he stood up and stretched, he could see that she was still pondering the sketchbook, muttering and making notes of her own that he couldn't decipher.

“You should get some sleep, Nette,” he said, dragging her out of her own thoughts and offering a hand up. She jumped as though startled and gave him a sheepish grimace. “Lord knows I'm going to bed.”

“Mmm, I'm just going to check in with Jay, make sure he doesn't want to do some baking and then I'll head to bed too,” she said with a more genuine smile. “Besides, once the ideas get going I find it hard to just sleep, you know?”

Tim agreed that he did indeed know, walking her towards the kitchen. They said goodnight and Tim went to bed feeling like he'd won the lottery - by the end of the year, he would finally have a commissioned MDC original.

[legendofmorons]

Time gives you a flower

Rating: G

Reader: gn

Pairing- Time x reader

Genre: Fluff, mutual pining

Summary: Time gives you a flower, and you press it. He is amazed by the other pressed flowers and plants you have.

-------

Time takes first watch as the others all start winding down... or are already asleep in Sky's case. He pays special attention to your form as you struggle to get your bedroll to cooperate.

He smiles softly to himself, watching your triumphant little wiggle as you cover yourself up.

The fire is warm, dancing and flickering as the others slowly fall asleep.

Time stands from his spot by the fire. He wants to do one last permitted sweep before he settles in for the watch shift.

He walks around the permiter- slow and methodical. His sword at the ready.

The night air is cool as stars come to life above.

He can hear the others moving to get comfortable. And he's just glad everyone is on one place and safe. They've all had a rough few days

As he makes it to halfway around the perimeter, he sees a bit of color among the grass. Bright and stark against the lush green field bordering the forest.

He stops beside the color- a flower.

He's found a flower.

It's pretty, and he recognizes it from his own home. The first of the flowers around it to bloom- it's a violet. The purple is a light shade- but a cheerful color.

He feels a soft smile at the sight. His mind flits to you if all things- how you might look holding the flower.

Oh well- he knows he's down bad. Why shouldn't be think about giving you a flower?

You deserve one after all you've done. Especially today! You had to solo a silver lynel after they got separated.

You deserve more than a flower for that ome- but it would be a start.

Time isn't sure how to give you a flower without betraying his feelings- but he's way more interested in you having it than anything else.

So he picks the violet, gentle with it as he does. He stands, flower still in hand.

He finishes the permiter check, his mind barely focused on it. Thank the stars for muscle memory.

Time sits back down by the fire, stating into it as he contemplates how to give you the flower.

How would you react? Would you be happy and like the flower? Are you allergic to it? He hopes not.

Maybe this isn't such a hood idea-

He hears movement.

Time looks up, gaze landing on your figure as you get out of your bedroll.

"Y/n?" He asks, loud enough to hear bit not enough to wake the others.

"Time." You say, walking towards him.

"What's going on? I thought you were exhausted. "

Your soft smile makes his heart do a funny two step. He loves when you share such a gentle moment with him.

"I am. I just can't sleep." You sigh, moving the last several feet to the log he is on.

You sit beside him. Leaving a little space between you but only a few inches.

"Oh. Well... If you want to talk I'm here."

"I appreciate that but I'm okay. I think I'm just jittery."

"That makes sense... The whole hero gig means you attract trouble- with so many of us...."

"I don't mind. I'm glad we're not alone doing this."

Time looks at you- you who seems to always understand what people need.

"Me too."

You looks at him, eyes landing on the violet. And you aren't sure what to think, it's pretty- his hand dwarfs it of course... but something about the flower in his hand makes you feel all soft.

"The Violet is pretty."

"Oh-!" Time starles before he continues, "I found it. You can have it if you like."

You can feel your face warn- though if asked you will blame the fire. "I'd like that."

Time could kiss you- you just saved him the trouble of figuring out how to gift you this. He won't kiss you, not without consent. He is a gentleman.

But he could.

He holds the flower out to you, watching with bated breath.

You take the flower, admiring it.

"Thank you, Time." You say, and you sound so awed it nearly breaks him.

"Anytime."

"I'll have to press this." You say, more to yourself than anyone else.

"Press it?"

"Yeah, press it! I have a bunch of pressed flowers. With all the shit life throws at anyone, I like to hold on to nice things."

Time shouldn't be suprised. You've always been hood at uplifting people. You would have something to make you happy to- or he would hope so at least.

"Can I see?" He asks.

You grin, "Yeah! Just give me a second."

You stand then, moving towards your bedroll and belongings

Time mourns the loss of your body heat as you leave. But he loves how happy you loon.

You kneel by your pack, pulling out a large book. It's bound in leather and looks well loved.

Time watches you come back, violet and book in hand.

You sit back down. This time, your knee touches his.

"I use the book to press flowers." You explain, opening the book to a random page before setting the violet on the open page- setting it bloom side up.

You close th book on the violet before opening the back cover.

In the back cover is a pressed clover and a pressed daisy. Both are preserved just so.

"Oh-" Time manages, suprised by the good condition of the plants.

"I have a lot of them- more back home."

"How often do you do this?"

"As often as I can."

"They're really pretty ." Time says, though he wants to add that you're also pretty.

"Thanks."

You look at him again, shutting the book gently.

He looks- well his gaze is soft. And he looks so open and relaxed it's hard to not feel special.

The others joke about how you're his favorite- you don't believe them... but moments like this make you wish they were right.

"Thank you again for the flower." You say.

"I'll bring you more of you like."

"I'd love that. Thank you, Link." You day- though you wish you hadn't said his name. That's so personal. What if you made it weird.

Time has to stop himself from grinning, instead he settles for a soft smile. "It's nice to hear my real name."

"Well... Keep bringing me flowers and I'll keep calling you by name."

"Deal."

[androgynousblackbox]

Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 3 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

"Good morning to all our dear listeners. Alastor is here to give you the warmest welcome to your favorite radio station. I know you all have great fun around here, I do too! It's nothing but laughter and joy on these parts.

But as part of this valuable medium that we all appreciate even today, on this age of fasting moving and gaudy technology, we must also remember to stay informed! The right kind of informed, where we seek to the truth of the matter without any biases or red tinted sunglasses.

In order to honor that, I bring you a bunch of exciting news. One of them is so important that I have it all on a little envelope with the words "Here. Happy now?" scribbled on top with… just about one of the most hideous handwriting I have ever seen.

I haven't looked at it's interior yet, but it's sitting right at my desk as we speak and I plan to share with all of you. That is the power of journalism in action, dear listener.

Before any of that, though, I would be remiss if I didn't relay to you something that our dear resident Rosie just told me when we were having our weekly breakfast together.

You all remember Rosie, don't you? The lovely, charismatic and oh so charming owner of the chocolate boutique not that far away from our station. It's a beautiful place, but it has always been dragged down by one small issue, one irritating factor that unfortunately ruined the perfect picture.

Unrelated to that, tonight the co-owner of the Chocolate Boutique has passed away. If you ever paid attention to the name on top of the establishment, then you will know who I am talking about. I never did so I don't. I think Rosie call them Claire, I want to say? That is probably close enough.

It was so gruesome too, isn't that funny? Whatever raccoon must have slipped inside of her house at night was truly having a creative mood because they spared no section to decorate it with the insides of Clara. Just not lungs anywhere. I guess that one must have been too tempting to let it go to waste. I can't say that I blame them, good lungs are hard to come by, especially for women that age.

Such a tragedy, listener. Clarissa for years has been the business partner of Rosie. They started it out ten whole years ago, after Rosie was coming out from a particularly bad divorc that later turned out in a rather joyful funeral. Rosie was so focused in trying to get her things sorted out properly that she didn't realize that the term of their contract was giving Clarinette a portion of their earnings that was far bigger she would have liked. But there was nothing to do about it because Clady was the one with the connections, the one who knew the right people and the right numbers to supply for their wonderful treats.

Oh, if only Rosie had found the notebook that she had hiding under her pillow before. It could have save her so many headaches and frustrating nights! Oh, she will insist that they were the best of friends, but you don't do business with friends. You get screwed by them and they expect you to tolerate it with a smiling face. Which Rosie had to do, as the lady that she is, until that raccoon slipped in through the open window in library of the second floor.

Not that me or her would know anything about that though!

In any case, don't bother picking up all the pieces you find. There is no point for her. Claennis already made her bed, so it's only time for her to lay on it. A devastated Rosie informed me that she will be having a party service this afternoon in order to celebrate the life of her death friend, Clarine, and of course everyone is invited to come in. It will also be a sort of re-opening with a new sign outside that contains just her name.

Come enjoy a discount of the 5% on their macaroons, they are absolutely to die for. I recommend the strawberry ones, those are my favorites.

Oh, well. Farewell, Clarisse. We will manage to find the will to keep going with your absense, I am sure of it. Rosie is already taking care of everything you left behind.

She told me that last night when we were having dinner at my house. That was at 20:30, for anyone who cares, around the same time that ravenous raccoon was satisfying it's hunger. Sinking it's teeth on those meaty lungs. Rosie was just telling me how much she loved and respected her friend. Isn't that a espectacular lady, dear listener?

You all know I am not much for parties. I prefer a nice evening with a book and some jazz at my side if I get to choose. But I might make an exception for this one ocassion in order to support a friend. It could be fun! So if any of my dear listener goes, we might shake hands there.

Rosie, dear, if you are hearing, the best of lucks as always.

Meanwhile, I did promised you more than one news today. Here it is. Just let me get that enveloped. I am going to be honest, it's lighter than what I expected, but I am sure that doesn't mean that is any less interesting.

This source of mine is shy, he doesn't like the attention, so he has kindly ask me to keep his name away from crediting for these foundings. He also told me there is nothing too interesting here, but let us be the judges of that.

As many of you would know, on our last transmission I had very valid and justified concerns regarding the identity of our newest resident. In my humble opinion, anyone with two braincells capable of rubbing together would have them too. A rich inventor of toys coming to a small humble little town? Having a daughter? With that stupid perfect hair and that pretentious name? To revive an old and abandoned toy store nobody cared about?

All very suspicious behavior, indeed. I could almost have shivers running down my spine just thinking about it. What could be behind that white smile of his? Drugs? Trafficking? Dog fights?

Maybe trafficked drugged dogs? Oh, listener, I just couldn't dream of letting such a potential dangerous criminal running around in our precious little town. Causing power outages and unwanted static. Not on my watch, no, sir!

So I had someone do a little research. Just to be safe, of course, I would never use it for anything else. That is for the police to care about it. Although why they haven't take care of it now is a valid point of criticism that we aren't indulging in right now. Waste of tax money if I ever saw one.

Wait, shoot, I forgot my glasses. Oh, yes, they there are. Alrighty, let's see.

Name… still the same. Still that joke of a awful name. I guess that makes sense, considering people can just change it. Fine, I will allow it, but what else?

He is a inventor that made a pool able to detect if a kid is drowning and from there is that his fortune started.

Well! There you have it, first strike! What a spoilsport! If parents are not paying attention to their children while they are on the pool, maybe they don't deserve an alarm at all! And with such obviously neglectful parent, those poor children are clearly only going to suffer more in the future! This is doing nothing but prolongue the inevitable. How evil is that?

But wait! He used to have his own toy store back where he comes from. HA! THERE IT IS, I KNEW IT! What happened there, mmm? Did it mysteriously go up in flammes? Did the ensurance company was immediately called, one hand on the phone and the other on the gasoline tank? Was the business not going that hot so you had to turn it up?

It says here that he closed it himself after his wife died. Mmm? Did you now? What happened there, dear old pal? A mysterious disease no doctor could verify? A stabbing on a cold case no one could solve? Did you do it yourself or you paid someone to do it?

Of… pancreatic cancer.

Huh.

Curious. The same thing that took my mother.

God bless her heart, that was 12 years ago. Has it really been that long already? Yes, 12 years.

I still remember how quickly the disease consumed her like it happened just yesterday.

Well, that… is tragic. It says here that after his wife died, he locked himself up on his mansion… did you had to write mansion, couldn't you just say house, who puts mansion in a report… for five months. According to friends of the family, Lucifer just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could before he could do something that he would regret. Maybe getting back to making the toys they both loved would help, he would say to people.

So he picked this town because when pointing at it with eyes closed in a map. It was a complete coincidence that there was a toy store waiting for him at all.

His daughter is named Charlie, is 3 years old and she likes duckies. There is clipping of a picture in which she posed with her dad for an article about some invention of his. I haven't seen her myself yet, but I can see the resemblance. At least we know that we won't ever need a DNA test to prove their relationship.

She has the same big blue eyes. Poor thing.

There is nothing more about her here. I would hope so, with just 3 years on this earth. Not even I would have made a thick report at that age.

There is a picture of the man in front of his new house during moving day. There are surrounded by a bunch of workers moving furniture and boxes. He doesn't look so tiny holding his daughter and smiling to her.

His hair is still so stupid. It's a little messy, some strands are out of place, but still looks… stupidly, ridiculously perfect. I don't trust a man with a hair that can do that.

Not that damn static again. What even is that? Fine, fine! I will put it down now, okay? It's back on the envelope, along with all the completely useless bunch of information. Is it fine now?

Is it?

Good.

But wait, that can't be really it, does it? Just some guy with a tragic backstory? That is it?

Not even a speeding ticket? Some accidental manslaughter? I could even take stealing candy from a baby!

Nothing!

Well, that is no fun! That is just so boring! And here I thought, dear listener, that I was about to make a break through that would be the talk for months to come. But this is so mundane and pathetically sad that now I just feel gross. It's weird, it makes me wish I haven't opened it up at all.

I am so terribly sorry for making you waste your time like this, dear listener. Some gossip has never harmed a fly, but this was maybe a little bit much. I just don't understand why I feel like I want to vomit when seeing this guy. Is my gut wrong? That would be a first.

I guess that goes to show, dear listener: do not trust the media with everything and don't believe everything you hear. Stuff can be a lot more complicated than what they seem at a first glance. Like windows that are opened up at night during pleasant dinners with friends in another house. Or impossibly disgusting shiny hair that doesn't want to keep on place.

My source was the Chief Officer Husk, by the way.

Now, the weather…"

[archandshri]

23rd May ‘24 - [arch] Witch Hat Atelier Takeover Episode

Greetings! I am back from the dead! I have had a fair few weeks of rest and admin and now I have lots of art thoughts! (lets see if I can get some down)

OMG Shri I am in LOVE with your last few posts!!! Have you considered not hitting it out of the park every time?? I have thoughts about the mind’s eye thing and picturing your work… maybe at some point I’ll write a blog about it :0

I’m working on a super cool comic for some people I can’t yet talk about but I’m going through a HUGE research process for it. It’s awesome, it feels like I’m back at uni. Learning so many skills and documenting my research properly in my slides again 💪💪

Though I can’t talk about the project itself, I would love to share a bit of analysis I’ve been doing on Witch Hat Atelier!! (Heads up - the following post contains spoilers for the first half of the first volume)

Expressions!!!

Though not unique to Witch Hat Atelier (WHA from now on), the manga uses a combination of subtler, realistic illustrations combined with goofy exaggerated ones - in particular using styles found commonly in manga.

The first few pages have quite minimal facial expressions - they’re still obvious (and to a degree, exaggerated in Coco's case) but not goofy. Shirahama uses additional techniques like text and sparkles on the right hand page to communicate Coco's excitement.

Traditional manga expressions, with more exaggerated and goofy features, are saved for comedic moments - in this instance from Coco’s childlike excitement.

Here we have quite realistic expressions, exaggerated by a combination of shadow (right-hand page) and tight close-ups. This. brings us into Coco's wonder, and communicates her high level of engagement.

In fact, the goofy expressions are almost exclusively saved for smaller panels, whilst more high drama or wonder moments take up larger panels and whole pages, so there's space for that high level of detail.

In this spread, expressions are playing a more minor role until the last two panels. In the panel circled in red, Coco’s expression is distressed. Because it’s a smaller panel, mid shot panel, her expression is emphasized by more cartoonish techniques (eg. The lines down her face.)

The last two panels return to slightly more realistic expressions, without the more cartoonish aids. This makes the moment feel more dire. Shirahama emphasises this once again by using close-ups and darkness surrounding them for the appropriate ambience.

Shirahama uses a high level of detail to capture moments of high wonder. They force the reader to take in the extent of the image. These are usually paired with minimal text which also requests that the reader takes time to absorb the image, rather than skimming over text.

Panel Pacing and Flow :0

For the ‘day to day’ ordinary scenes, pretty straightforward paneling is used. On a grid, straight lines, very little overlapping.

This is broken in moments, like introducing Qifrey. A three-quarter image of him breaks the panel structure to say ‘hey, this guy is important’.

Overlapping panels are first introduced in this moment - which is huge for Coco, as she realises how magic is used. The change in format once again tells the reader that this is important by adding more visual interest. The images sit like a bunch of disjointed puzzle pieces, like she’s about to put something together.

On the second page of the spread, the format returns to (mostly) normal as everything slots into place.

What can I say... line of action!!! Look at those gorgeous textures that lead the composition into that curve. That's all from me today folks, hope you enjoyed reading through! I've got a bit more stability in my life now, so hopefully I'll be more consistent with my uploads. (no promises I'm taking it easy) lots of love! :D Archie

[someone-you-do-not-know]

No, but Julien Sorel (Stendhal's The Red and the Black, 1830) is so babygirl. Poor little meow meow. Scrungly. Blorbo. All of those. He's such a Tumblr sexy man, and no one gets it, because no one is sitting down to read the 500+ pages of boring nothing plot and vapid, unlikeable characters.

I know this.

And yet, I must shout into the void. My man, my idiot boy, he thinks he's so special because he can recite the Bible in Latin. And oh, look, those from his village agrees, so the mayor lets him teach Latin to the kids, so he can save up money and go to seminary school to become a priest. Everyone loves him (except his family, they always mistreated him) – some love him a bit too much.

So what does he do? He starts a love affair with the mayor's wife. And it's such a silly one too, every touch, every look, everything you can imagine is just so sentimentally romantic. She is pure and good. He is very bad™ at flirting, playing mind games and following a bunch of rules of his own making, instead of being genuine. But another girlie is in love with Julien and tells the world of their village about their love affair, so Julien is sent to seminary.

Here, you'd think this fucking nerd could keep his nose down in his books, but no. He had to go and get involved with a Jansenist, who then leaves, leaving Julien exposed to anyone who disagrees with Jansenism (hint, that's most people in France of that time). However, before he leaves, he helps getting Julien set up as a private secretary.

Wouldn't you know it? The man Julien is secretary for is not only involved in a plot to reinstate the former royalty to power in France, and has a daughter. Is she beautiful? Julien doesn't think so, but she has charm.

So he fucks her in the carriage. Or does he? Would you believe him if he said so? What if the narrator is for once telling the truth, and nothing happened? Who knows? Point is, he and Mathilde start a very stormy courtship and love affair, and although Julien, the dumbass, loves her, he also still loves his milf. Two timing motherfucker. Can't commit for shit.

And I mean that. He can't commit. Not to one girl, not to a profession, not to anything. That's what the title is about too – the red is the military, the black is the priest robes. He started the latter, but actually ends up in the former, but we're not that far yet.

Then he participates in the plot, but see, Julien Sorel is a special kind of idiot, so despite how he wants to be on the inside of such a thing, he'd love to have all the secret info, he doesn't fucking realise what he's doing. He gives the last heir to the French throne a message that was so secret he had to recite it from memory, AND DOESN'T REALISE HE'S HELPING A LEGITIMIST PLOT. "Lol, I'm just helping my employer and feeling blue because my gf doesn't love me," licherally, how stupid are you, boy?!

Anyway, the whole secret legitimist plot fails (duh, France doesn't have a king today) and is written about in a way that you, just like Julien, don't really know what the fuck is happening, and it just seems like boring politics.

Now Julien, he's not disinterested in politics (he's just a foolish boy who doesn't grasp the intricacies even when they are slapping him in the face), but, see, he has the Marius Pontmercy complex. He's in a world after Napoleon, but wants to live during Napoleon. Many such cases. But Julien, he doesn't just wish he could've supported Napoleon, no. He views himself as the modern day Napoleon, yet with all his ambition, he never manages to do anything at all. Lots of good things are offered to him, true love, humble but good work, but no! He only wants glory. Yet, he never snatches it for himself.

His second conquest (third, really, but who's counting the girl he only seduced to get Mathilde? Not me) has many results. They almost get married. She is pregnant. He is knighted. Maybe not in this order.

Now, The Red and the Black doesn't have much that happens, so I haven't cared about spoiling, but the next part is actually a spoiler.

So, anyway, Julien dies, because he's too stubborn to live. Both women who loves him plead for him to live, but he chooses to die, because he can't see a place in society for him, a lowborn man with wit, but remember, he's also very stupid. He's the clever kind of stupid, and just like with the whole rest of his life, he is hypocritical and can't make up his mind on anything. He could have tried to live, just as he could have tried to commit to anything, but he never did. But no, instead, he wants to be a martyr.

At the very end, he realises his own laziness, his own tendency to copy paste from others, and his true, first love cements (this is after he has shot her and she survived). He sees himself as better, and in death, he is perhaps better. But he's also dead. Even his death is a copy, since he dies by guillotine, like so many others before him.

In the end, I do love him. he's a ridiculous, silly fella, his head has so much air in it that he could fly, and whether you read the ending as a condemnation of his inaction or as a diagnosis of French Restoration society's distaste for young men of the people, Julien Sorel compels me in a way like few other characters.

He's blorbo from my book.

[justice4billiam]

I'm gonna title this :

Nose Ring

Y'all wanna hear an embarrassing thing that happened to me today? 🤭😂😭

So. I have a nose ring. I've had a nose ring for YEARS. I had just recently changed the stud to a hoop again. Not that big of a deal, right?

UNTIL IT SNAGS ON YOUR HOODIE AS YOUR TAKING IT OFF AND YOU GET STUCK WITH THE HOODIE OVER YOUR HEAD.

Naturally, I panicked 🙂

Cuz that bish HURT. It was stuck good and proper.

I panicked and started reeling backwards. REALLY FAST.

Oops forgot to mention, I WAS AT THE CINEMA.

There were people everywhere outside the movie rooms because it was right before the movie I was seeing started(Lisa Frankenstein in case anyone was wondering)

So there I was, my hoodie snagged over my head and like I said practically panic-walking backwards like a freaking cat who got a plastic bag stuck around its neck.

I walked so fast and suddenly that I might of accidently took out a pack of adolescent preteens.

Okay no, “might” I DID TAKE OUT A PACK OF ADOLESCENT PRE-TEENS.

They fell like a bunch a bowling pins 😭

STRIKE.

It would of been funnier to me in the moment too….

Except you see, now I'm on the ground…and still have the goddamn hoodie stuck over my head.

A voice above me interrupted the pity party I was having on the floor.

“Do you need help, miss?”

Yes. Yes I did.

This angel of a human that I DID NOT know, crouched down to me and stuck his hand into my hoodie hole, ROTATED the hoop in my nose until he could unhook the 2 asshole objects apart.

There is was FREEDOM.

I pulled that hoodie so quickly off my head, smiling like a dumb idiot until I made eye contact with the guy that saved me.

HELLO, A STRAIGHT TEN. Bro was rocking a short little mullet and wearing a Megadeth t-shirt, had the face of a fucking angel.

So naturally, I gawked a little bit. (leave me alone. I'm disoriented😭)

This man IS SMIRKING at me, asking if I'm alright.

NO SIR, IM NOT ALRIGHT. A HOT PERSON JUST WATCHED ME BOWL A STRIKE WITH A HOODIE OVER MY HEAD.

The whole time I'm still on the floor and he's casually crouched over me. He's talking to me, saying actual words but all I could think about is how this dude just had his finger up my nose.

Hot guy helped me up.

And I got a good look at my surroundings to notice…those preteens were not happy 🤭.

Now, you'd think I ran away out of embarrassment and vowed to never come back to the cinema….

I DID NOT. I said my sorrys and oogled the metal angel a little more before marching my ass into that theater and watching the dang movie I came to see.

Yes I liked the movie.

And yes I changed that hoop back into a stud immediately 🥲

Do y'all have any embarrassing stories?

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twenty

Yiorgos, our taxi driver, chugs up the driveway with his boot stuffed full of cases and bags. It is hot already, even though he told us that the winter drew on longer than normal this year, but now the summer seems to have come early, completely swallowing up the spring. The Cypriot heat is bone dry today, and when we step out of the car and take our cases with us, a haze of dust from the path rises into the air and leaves a thin film on my sandals. The sun is sharp edged on the stone of this old building, and a scallop shaped bird bath in the garden has dried up. I run my fingers through the ridges of warm stone as Yiorgos hauls all of Claire’s bags out onto the ground, and gaze out towards the horizon from this vantage point, high enough to see the pale slash of Coral Beach to the west and the blue ridges of the Cedar Valley in the distant east, yellow sun glancing off their inclines. The wind does not blow. It is perfectly, silently still. 

“It’s hot.” I declare, fanning myself with the paperback book I packed for the plane, and Jude pushes his sunglasses onto his face. “Is it?” He says vaguely. He is wearing long trousers and a sweatshirt, and Shane has the decency to look irritated on my behalf. “Some of us would find this hot, man, yeah,” He says. “We weren’t all dragged up in the Chihuahuan Desert, or whatever it’s called,” He wipes sweat from his brow and begins hauling some of the bags up the steps to the worn wooden doors at the entrance of the house. There is an arc of sweat on his back, and hair at the nape of his neck is damp with it. He was never all that great in the sun. 

When Claire throws open the doors she does so with great flourish, and then flits through the house and does the same to all of them. I spot her up on the balcony above the pomegranate trees as I carry my things inside, like a Disney princess with her long, thick hair swishing around her shoulders, the look of complete and utter bliss fixed upon her pretty face. She was so excited about this holiday, and now being here, seeing how beautiful it is after all of the meticulous planning, I feel like I can relax. 

The house, with its smooth plastered walls is cool inside, as though the thick stone has held onto the damp of winter, but still, I go to the sink in the kitchen to get a palm full of water for my hot forehead. The shutters there are thrown open to a sea view, and far to the north east of the bay where the white sand meets the cliffs, a huge, top heavy rock juts out of the sea. I am squinting at it when Jude comes up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. 

“It’s Aphrodite’s Rock,” I tell him. “I read about it in that guide at the tourist office. The myths say that she was born right there at that very spot.”

“She’s the Greek’s answer to Venus, right? Goddess of Love and beauty.”

“And marriage and prostitution and all of that fun stuff.”

“I bet she was a wild gal back in the BC days.”

“You know that the guide also said that that portion of the beach was voted the top place in the Mediterranean to have sex,” I don’t know why I just said that, and stiffen awkwardly in his arms, quickly adding, “It’s also a nudist beach,” as though that will save me somehow, but actually it only makes it worse.

“Oh,” He teases with a ticklish kiss on my cheekbone. “If you feel like heading down there at any point I wouldn’t be totally opposed.”

“Yeah, you me and a bunch of creepy old men, I bet, and anyway,” I twist around to face him “I’m already competing for time with your bloody thesis, I don’t really fancy wasting a precious day hiking all the way down there just to get my pasty baps out for a crowd of strangers.”

He throws his head back and groans, arms falling limp at his sides. “Please, we just arrived, don’t mention the ‘T’ word.”

“Get it done early,” I warn him with a stiff finger in the chest. “I’m not spending this whole holiday third wheeling it with Claire and Shane because you can’t stop procrastinating.”

“I’m like, 95% there. I swear, it’ll be like, one evening, max,” he whirls around and starts plucking bags from the heap on the terracotta tiles with a sudden burst of efficiency. “I’ll do it tonight, it’ll be over. For now we have to unpack and pick a room, and then I think we should take a walk and see if we can find somewhere to swim so we can get that sticky aeroplane feeling off us.”

“A room?” I echo, fixated on that part, “You think we should share?”

“Well, I don’t know,” He says, standing still with his arms full of cases. “Would you absolutely hate that?”

“I wouldn’t hate it, I just, you know…”

He nods, “We can sleep separately, I don’t mind.” 

“I’m sorry,” I add quickly, “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t want to feel kind of, situation-ed into something we’re not ready for.”

“Is that a word? Situ-”

“No.”

“Well, okay.”

“You’re not offended?”

“No!” He says, and rightly enough, he doesn’t sound it, but maybe he’s just a good actor. “It’s not like that with us, we’re going slow.”

I chew on my lip, “Well I feel like you’re just saying that.”

“Evie,” He sighs. “It’s different with us, I know that you’re anxious, and it doesn’t bother me. Actually, it’s nice, I’ve never done the waiting thing before, and I’m enjoying it, because I’ve been appreciating everything else that we’ve been doing.”

“Back when I was at school the waiting period was about eight months,” I tell him, and it’s just an innocent anecdote but I swear his face drains a bit. “Girls would go out with their first boyfriend for ages first, and if they made it as far as eight months then they’d get the ride. Usually like, in a car or at someone’s house party.”

“Sounds romantic.”

“Yeah, right. That was just a stupid story, by the way,” I say hastily. “It’s not like that’s the pattern I want us to follow or anything, it just popped into my head there, and like, eight months is ages to wait, and it’s not like we even know where you’re going to be in eight months, sure you’ll be long graduated by then and you could be off anywhere in the world…” I trail off because his smile has faltered and he’s starting to look miserable. “I’ll come with you now to look at the rooms,” I seize a few more of the bags and follow him up the stairs to a creaky landing with shuttered windows that still block out the light. 

I insist that Jude take the double room out of pure guilt, even though he seems perfectly fine again, but mostly I choose the small box room because it has that very same beautiful view as the kitchen beneath it. Instead of unpacking anything I sit upon a painted wooden chair by the window and gaze out at the stillness of Pissouri, the azure blue of the sky and the brittle sand coloured stone of the cracked roads that wind up and down the hills. Once again I look for Aphrodite’s Rock and find it, as though a flickering torch of twisting flames was transformed into stone in an instant. The sand at its base unfolds into a meadow of Neptune seagrass, and I imagine I can see the goddess there, standing boldly in her nakedness amongst the cliffs. Somehow she sees me too, and she smiles up at me, her gaze unwavering, insistent and sure. I stare back until she dissolves to nothing in the blink of an eye. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[lynnerdo]

Played the DATV demo today!

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Spoilers under read more!

A more in depth, warning spoilers! #veilguardspoilers

- We didn't get to CC, that would take longer than 20 for sure haha.

- I got to see the startup screen as they had to change my language setting from French to English, and someone went 'woops spoilers' HAHA. It's much like the intro for ME legendary edition where the companions show one by one. Pretty.

- The demo allowed us to choose a class, without knowing which Rook we would get. We soon saw the faces we already got accustomed to. Our female elven warrior, human rogue and qunari mage making a reappearance.

-It started in the middle of a scene with Harding, where you're at a campfire and Rook has a conversation with her until they hear a screech. Assan spots them and 'attacks'. Davrin has his Disney prince entrance, (swoon) and continues to size up Rook. He mentions that something smells, and as purple Rook you can joke "It's not me, it's the tents" and the camera awkwardly glances to Harding in front of the tent, the tent having blight on it. Very "the office" camera humor.

- Davrin is ??? about Rook but decides to give them a chance and continues on with the mission.

- We got to use Assan to do some environmental changes, like letting things fall down as he flies up to them to cut a cord or drop something.

- I spent a good 5 minutes just looking around, the environment looked GORGEOUS? Like the lighting? insane????? Weisshaupt out of this world fr.

- Then you have the first battle, a whole bunch of darkspawn and they're fucking annoying. I fucked up with the controller and got into fly cam mode, WHICH. IS A THING. So my entire hud was gone hahaha. But yeah the enemies are relentless. Good luck nightmare mode people.

- No one really is a "tank" so they WILL target you effectively, which as a mage, on first try... oh boy.

- Someone (redacted) who Davrin knows. (I don't wanna spoil this but it's not a big deal lol, just in case people don't want to read it)

- You move onto the next part, another Assan environmental change, there's also loot you can get, things you can interact with. But all subtle so more immersive.

- Then a big boy happens. Darkspawn will be fucking annoying and that's great honestly. The combo features are amazing for dealing huge damage, and after a while you get an idea of when and who to combo with. It's a small learning curve.

- If you forget to heal in time Harding has a skill she uses so I ALMOST died but the dwarf wife saved me.

- Dodge will be one of the most used skills for sure. I almost got sliced in two multiple times.

- Blight is gooey and gross, reminded me of Mass Effect.

- I couldn't really listen to the music sadly as the sound on the headphones were quite low, but the voice acting was greaaat ofc.

- It sadly ended before another cutscene reveal at the end of the short mission, upon they told us "we can't show you the end of the mission now can we :) " WELL PLAYED.

Overall: I can't wait to start. Can't wait to make my Rook. And honestly, the more. I looked at my qunari Rook, the more I liked him. He had a beard and he was all sass. The skills/spells look so fucking cool when the slowmotion combos hit or when you drop from the sky into someone's face. Loved it!!!!!! If you haven't pre-ordered yet, please do.

[popculturebuffet]

Christmas in July: Jingle Belle: Ring a Ding Jing (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hohoho all you happy people. Christmas in July is almost done and i'm almost out of here. For now though we have some more presents to plop down your chimeny

No no we're not there yet. Get back in the cage mickey rooney. No today's present is another look at Jingle Belle, a character created by DCAU legend Paul Dini.

Since it has been a few years, a quick recap: Jingle Belle is santa's 20 something but actually pretty dang old daughter who gets into trouble and stuff. That's... pretty much it.

Okay THAT'S pretty much it. He's done occasional stories with the characters at a bunch of diffrent indie comics companies. Kev's a fan so he asked me to cover some more.

So with that we can get to today's story which involves casinos, the mafia, the rat pack and jing becoming a mob boss. You know christmas! Under the cut!

Ring a ding jing is a two issue story from a 2004 mini series done by dark horse.. which the image above lets you know, the previous two being the previously covered special christmas special.

Now that's out of the way we begin with a letter to santa: An old friend of his is asking for help, Bud Coleman, a kind old man who's been running a santa theme park in lake tahoe since 1962 which santa came to see open himself. I do like this bit, that santa took the time to help an adjacent park open and gave it his blessing. Feels very santa. He writes back he unfortunately CAN'T hlep but before he can provide presumibly some advice.. our heroine comes in

I hate to take sides.. but Rusty.. you brought this on yourself. He was trying to borrow her snowboard.. without asking her and when again she put a keep out sign. Immature.. yes. Clear as fuck? Yes. Implies Rusty does this shit a lot? Also yes.

So santa in his "infinite wisdom" decides to send jing to help this poor old man.

Seriously just... this whole story is at least 20% Santa's fault for sending Jing down there, knowing both what she's like. Granted I can't completely fault him for not thinking this goes where it goes, it's a bit chesnuts and not roasted on an open fire, but he still should've known this wouldn't end well. IT's why the ending dosen't sit right with me but we'll get to that.

For now Jing flies in and is unimpressed with what's left of the park, if nice to bud. Sadly the parks in deep disrepair, the rides busted, the reindeer replaced with a very good boy, and Bud's wife having been seriously injured in a fruit cake accident and really needing a doctor but not getting one because Trauma is funny right? I mean if it happens to a house cat named tom sure

But in this case meh. Jing needs twelve million dollary doos for her plan to save the park, but hears bud's friends joking about him being part native american and that gives her an idea: GAMBLING. She plans to turn part of the park into a casnio. Bud's not sure but Jing's got the charisma to talk him into this. She then gets busy grabbing some of her dad's staff specifically

Well a wolverine that fights a robot to test it for santa, but he acts like logan so he counts dammit. She grabs a few menehunes, some slot machine parts, paul anka and some cocaine. you know the things you need for a good casino.

So naturally when Bud gets back, he finds his park has been turned into a nightmare

Bud is naturally.. horrified by all this. Except the house band, they fucking rip. But wolverines as bouncers, lemmings as servers and something called

Ah yes the most iconic of x-men, texas murder alligator. Side note ask Gail Simone to add Texas Murder Alligator to her run. He really needs the work.

Bud is horrified with Jing wondering if she screwed up.. but he's pacificed a bit by the profits since it's more than they've made in 20 years. Jing naturally has let the success go to her head but soon has to deal with the greatest monster in gambling

But since that all happens in a tie in issue we instead see her get abducted by the mob. Specifically Leo Gatch, who runs all the casino's in the area and is impressed with her work.. but wants his cut. Jing refuses and he responds by telling her "Join up or get your legs broken" We end the issue on that cliffhanger.

So naturally she escapes.. by summoning a giant reindeer named thrasher. Or goat. Whatever he is he's got the poots and poots on gatch as jing runs away

So Jing comes back and Bud about dies when he finds out who Jing just pissed off wanting to apologize. We soon find out naturally letting a teenager telling a mob boss to go jerk off in a lake has consequences, as Gatch has cut off the food and entertainment. Jing being responable and entirely likeable.. decides not to. I like this panel of her going beetlejuice over her frustration at the situation before deciding to fight dirty

So she fights back. She has wolverine deliver a message telling Gatch

Has him eat his whole buffet and then invite him to see their new act

Yes Jing has brought in toy versions of the rat pack who are loyal to her and help throw gatch out, though she did skimp on the accuracey a little what with frank going AGAINST the mob, but ey creative lisesnce and all that. She also clearly hates Dean martin as he's the only one to get a joke at his expense. Or paul dini does and that sir I just don't understand.

Meanwhile Bud has to turn some kids away and realizes "maybe this giant casino war with anamatronic dean martin has gotten jus ta wee bit out of hand. "

Anyways Gatch heads back to fly in some muscle to break her legs and kidneys, but finds his casnio is super paying out. Turns out the people he told to fix the machines> He then passses out and awakens. Jing has taken over and plans to become queen of lake tahoe and then the rest of the world.

Sadly she forgot about her dad... who i'm suprised she dosen't just throw out as he found out about the scheme. And here's that part where I don't like him... he outsourced this to his michevous daughter, didn't bother to look into what she'd just requested when she came back and grabbed a bunch of his pepople for her scheme and didn't think to do ANY followup till bud called him. I'm not saying Jing's out of the clear, she lied to a man, turned his park into a casino without his consent, got into a war with someone very clearly part of the mafia, and then planned to become queenpin. She done fucked up, but multiple people can fuck up and it's hard to feel bad for santa when HE SENT HERE THERE. He sent her to his friend and while as I said at the top, he couldn't of seen THIS coming, he should've seen something going horribly wrong coming and maybe sent one of his elves to look after her.

Bud is closing down the casino part, so the war with gatch isn't an issue: he got enough to renovate the park and that's all he really wanted. Him calling santa in is a nice touch: it's one thing to make money they badly need to remodel, the rides were out of date and needed to be refurbished or replaced. That's fine. It's another to turn his place into casniopolis.

Gatch and Jing don't get off the hook though just because this solved all his problems: Gatch is let go, having claimed to learn his lesson.. but is told by santa to donate to several charities. Which is a slap on the wrist but given what Jing's put him through, I doubt he wants to piss off Santa as he won't play as dirty but he will play to win. Jing is left.. handing out fruitcake.

This two parter is.. decent. The idea isn't terrible, but Jing feels very one dimensional mostly either being manipulative or angry in the first half and the setup is nonsenical. Again Santa, why did you think sending your teenage daughter fresh off nearly murdering her cousin would work?

But honestly the jokes do help: from a wolverine refrence, a cheap pop for yours truly, to the rat pack, the picked up screwball pace of the second half really helps the story and the ending does mostly work. I just would prefer if th efirst half had more jokes than "Jing thinks starting a santa casnio is a good idea" as a santa themed casino isn't that shocking to me or over the top. It probably exists. Now elves fixing machines, a wolverine eating his buffet and anamatronic rat pack that's my forte.

So overall a solid story just not a lot to talk about. You'd think they'd have more but i'm wrong.