#today was so draining and kinda rough but there were still some nice moments I can reflect on :)))

[yakultii]

more moments from today 💓

[warmblanketwhump]

flight plan: part 2

no planes in this one - just some good old-fashioned sickfic! But if you want the backstory, check out part 1 here.

“A, can you hand me my glass of water? Pleaaaase?” B sticks out their bottom lip in a pout, and A can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, you. It’s been four days and I know you’re getting better, because you’re getting pesky again.” A straightens the blankets and slides their hand up to feel B’s cheek. “Still a little warm, but I think you’re on your way out of the woods.”

“So I should milk this while I can?” B flutters their eyelashes and gives a pitifully fake cough, which slips into a real one, sharp and rattling. Concern flits across A’s eyes, and they help B take a few sips from the glass.

Despite the joking, A didn’t kid themselves about how sick B had been, or how awful they’d truly felt after getting off the plane. The first two days had been nightmarish - B barely conscious, shivering with chills and sweating through their sheets, alternating between terrifying fever dreams and inconsolable moaning and weeping.

A did their best to hold them through it, but they had been minutes away from hauling B to the hospital. Thankfully B’s fever had spiked just one final time before settling into general low-grade misery.

“As long as you need me, sweetheart, you’ve got me.” B gives a tired smile and pulls the blanket to their chin, huddling around the new stuffed animal A gave them at the airport.

“Did you call C?”

“Ah, not yet. Too busy with you, ya sick little bean.” A gently fluffs B’s hair. “You rest, and I’ll give them a call now.”

But C doesn’t pick up. Nor do they pick up an hour later, leaving A stuck with the unpleasant task of leaving a voicemail.

“Um, hi…this is A. I just wanted to call and let you know that B’s on the mend. They’re still pretty weak, but I think things are looking up. So…yeah. Thanks for everything you did for B - once they were feeling better, they told me all about what you did. And I…well, I care a lot about them. Obviously. So I appreciate it. I guess you can call back if you-”

The message cuts off, and A groans. Hopefully that was enough. Still, they couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomach.

Later, they settle in with B to watch a movie, B’s head cradled in their lap as A combs their fingers soothingly through their hair, reveling in the sheer normalcy of it all. They both end up falling asleep, and when A blinks awake as the credits roll, they notice a missed call from C. B’s still out, so they click to listen to the voicemail.

“Hey, A….sorry I *coughs*…missed you earlier. Wasn’t able to *sniffs* make it to the phone. So glad to hear that B’s *cough cough* doing better. I think they did a little sharing.” C laughs weakly, but A can hear the sheer exhaustion in their voice. “Anyways, glad they had you. And if you’ve got any survival tips, feel free to pass them along…..I’m just kidding. *cough* I’ll be fine. Anyways, I’ll…see you around, I guess.” They pause briefly, like they want to say something more, but a coughing fit steals their breath away, and the message ends with a click cutting off the rough gasps.

The pit in A’s stomach comes back. C sounds sick.

“Who….who was that?” B mumbles from their spot on A’s lap.

“It was C. They called back and they….didn’t sound so good.”

B’s eyes snap to meet A’s, more alert than they have been in days. “Did they sound like me?”

C pauses. They hadn’t thought about not telling B, but in hindsight, maybe they should have. After all, it’d only flood B with guilt, and they needed all the energy they had to get well. But one look at B’s concern, and they knew they wouldn’t be able to lie.

“Yeah. They did.” Immediately B struggles to push themselves up, throwing their blanket off their shoulders and trying to stand.

“Whoa, hold it there. Where do you think you’re going?”

“To C. If they’re sick, it’s from me, and if any hints from the past four days of living with me are any indication, we gotta help them.”

A throws their hands up, pressing B back on the couch. “Hold up. We don’t know them, we don’t know if someone’s already taking care of them, and we don’t know where they live. I’m sure they’re-“

B frantically shakes their head. “You didn’t hear them. On the plane. From what they said…I don’t think they have anyone. I have to go.”

A chews their lip. “Well, let’s get things straight first. You’re in no shape to go help them. Which leaves me. A random stranger they don’t know. And you want me to check on them?”

The question was meant to be sarcastic, but B nods vigorously and fear fills their eyes with a fevered anxiety. “A, you saw how sick I was. You think anyone’s gonna be able to fight through that alone?”

A sighs wearily. They could blame it on the fact that arguing with a sick B was like arguing with a brick wall. But truthfully, what did their heart in was the thought of B alone on that plane, sick and shivering and miserable, if C hadn’t helped.

Fine. They’d send a text.

You okay? You sounded kinda rough on the phone. B was worried….

A few moments later, C responds.

Eh, I’ve felt better. But thank you for asking. And tell B not to feel bad. They were a better seatmate than most.

A smile tugs at A. At least this C was polite.

Is there anything you need? B said something about you being by yourself.

This pause was longer. The dots appeared and disappeared a few times, before a message came through.

I hate to take advantage, but is there ANY way you could bring over some cough medicine? I ran out a couple days ago. No worries if not - I can figure it out.

C’s heart sank. So they were alone. Sure, they didn’t say it - but any good friend or significant other worth their salt wouldn’t leave someone they loved without medicine for days.

I’ll bring some to you! Want to meet somewhere neutral, or just want me to drop it off?

In moments, C sends a response and an address.

Dropping off is fine. You are an actual lifesaver.

A settles B into bed with blankets, a cup of water, hot tea, and six types of medicine on the side table. “Now if you get worse, call me and I’ll turn around immediately. Nothing’s more important than you, okay?”

B shook their head. “I’ll be fine. They need someone.”

A heaves a sigh. “You’re too good, you.” They give B a quick forehead kiss, and head out into the night.

By the time they get to C’s apartment, their stomach is flip-flopping - C is a stranger. A lonely stranger, but a random stranger nonetheless. They come to C’s door and knock tentatively, gripping the paper bag of cough medicine (plus some cough drops and Tylenol for good measure), and hold their breath.

Nothing. A few minutes go by and A knocks again. They’re ready to break down the door if C doesn’t answer soon, but they realize what took so long right after they hear the click of the deadbolt.

A had seen corpses that looked more alive than C did right now. They lean heavily on the doorframe, sweat beaded on their forehead, a thick grey throw blanket clutched tightly around their shoulders. Their face is hollow and devoid of color, lips dry and cracked, their hair mussed and matted to their head. The cool night air hits their fevered body, triggering a round of chills that make them shudder. Despite their misery, a tiny light of gratitude flits across their eyes, and they stare incredulously at the paper bag in A’s hands.

“C….” A’s jaw drops to the ground.

“A, I seriously owe you one.” C tries to laugh, but it turns into a wheezing chest cough, high pitched and tense as they fight to catch their breath. Their eyes blink slowly, and they start to slide down the doorframe, but A grabs them and they both tumble inside.

Even through the blanket, A can feel C’s every bone. C weakly clings to A as they stumble toward the couch, and A deposits them on the cushions before tearing into the package of meds.

“What have you taken so far today?” A asks, trying to figure out the dosages.

“I….nothing…” C mumbles. A meets their eyes in disbelief before cracking open the blister packet and retrieving a proper dose. Grabbing an empty glass on the side table, they fill it before helping C choke the pills down. C greedily gulps the whole glass, breathing heavily once they’ve drained it.

“Water…water’s good.” C smiles blearily - they’re almost completely out of it. A presses a hand to the side of C’s neck, and C flinches at the cool touch. Their neck feels like a bank of hot coals, slick with sweat, lymph nodes sore and swollen. Their forehead isn’t much cooler either.

“C, when’s the last time you ate or drank anything?”

C cocks their head like A just asked them to recite the entire periodic table. “I….not sure? Days….kinda blurry.”

A’s seen enough. “C, you’ve got to go to the hospital. I haven’t even seen your temp, but you’re burning up even worse than B was.”

C frantically grasps at A’s wrists, sharp panic flooding their eyes. “Please…no…no hospital. I can’t. The meds….I’m fine here. Please.” A shiver wracks their body, and they hunch their shoulders, wrapping themselves back up and pulling the blanket over their nose. “Please. You can go now.”

“C, you need help-“

“I don’t.” Their voice breaks on the last word, cut off by a brief hiccuping sob.

Confusion rises through A - one minute C’s a grateful wreck, and the next moment they’re demanding they leave?

“C, I don’t understand-“

“You don’t get it. You think it feels all nice, having people care about you. Making you feel like you matter. And then they leave you. Get tired of you. Decide you’re not worth it. And it hurts worse than if they were never there at all.” C scrubs their eye with the corner of their blanket and sniffles as tears run down their cheeks. “I can’t let it happen again. I have to be alone. So just go. Please.”

A’s speechless. They kneel down next to the couch, hand tentatively hovering above C.

“C, is it okay if I put my hand on you right now?” C’s still sniffling, but they nod and mumble a weak “yes”, and A gently lets their hand rest on this stranger’s shoulder.

“C, I want to respect what you want right now. But you should know that you’re very sick. And you’ve managed in your own way - how, I have no idea - but you need some help right now. Now I can either call the hospital and let them handle it, or take you home with me. It’s up to you. Otherwise, you need to look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you want to be left alone through this.”

They squeeze C’s shoulder, and it triggers a deep gasping sob from their broken, aching body, sending a fault line straight through A’s heart. The sob turns to weeping, and A can barely make out the words C whimpers: "I don't want to hurt anymore."

God, who broke this poor thing? A bites their lip. C’s losing it. They’re running out of options short of forcing C to come with them, and that’s the last thing they want to do to a delirious, love-starved person who’s known them all of 6 minutes.

“C, I’m not gonna hurt you. I want to help you. Heck, even B wants to help you. I had to practically pin them down to the bed before leaving, they were so hell bent on this rescue.”

C’s red, swollen eyes meet A’s. “You mean….they asked after me?”

“Yes. They did. They could hardly stop talking about you once they came to their senses.” A rubs C’s knee through the blankets. “And they’d never forgive me if I left you here alone - they were very adamant about that. So if you want to save me a lot of arguing with and consoling of a very sad B, you’d actually be doing me a favor coming back with me.”

C seems to be weighing their options, all while struggling to stay awake on the couch. “I mean…if it saves you the trouble….”

A’s the one nodding vigorously now. “Please. It would.” Please. Just come back with me. I can’t leave you here like this. But I don’t know what else to do.

C presses themselves up off the couch with a single shaking arm. “Well, if it’d help you, then I accept.” And then they promptly pass out into A’s waiting arms.

It’s late when A gets back home with a limp C, and B is knocked out in their room, light still on - they’d tried to wait up, but their body still craved rest.

A carries C over the threshold and into the house. They gently lay the bundle on the bed and feel their forehead - still too hot, but the medicine seemed to be working. They manage to wake C up enough to take a few sips of broth from a mug before they pass out again.

For the briefest moment, A lets their hand touch C's shoulder again, making a silent promise they barely know how to keep: I don't know who broke you, but I'm not gonna let you hurt any more. I won't allow it.

A wave of exhaustion floods their body as they feel the effects of several late nights and long days of caretaking. They'd be no good to anyone if they didn't get any rest. A drapes an extra blanket over C’s sleeping form and heads for the couch for the night - they’d check back in an hour or so.

--------------------------

B’s awakened by the sound of sniffling. And it’s not theirs. They blink tentatively in the lamplight, sleep clouding their thoughts. Snatching a blanket from the top of their bed, they wrap up, stuffed animal under one arm, and shuffle across the hall to see where the sound is coming from.

It’s C, swathed in two blankets, holding a wad of tissues and trembling like a leaf. B flicks on the bedside table lamp, and C winces at the light. B can see the tear stains on their cheeks.

“Cold,” C whimpers, coughing weakly. Pity floods B - it’s like looking at a picture of themselves just a few days ago. They reach out and put their hand on C’s head, and C leans into the touch.

“Yeah, this part sucks,” B says softly, guilt flooding their core. Sure, they didn’t mean to make C sick. But they did. And they felt a certain responsibility to make sure they made it through okay - just like C had cared for them on the plane.

“Can I get you anything? Another blanket, tea, medicine?”

“Throat hurts…water…please?” B nods and places the stuffed animal next to C before beginning the long, slow shuffle to the kitchen. A’s asleep on the couch, and they can’t bear to wake them up for something this small. But by the time they get to the kitchen, their legs are trembling with exertion. Easy there. You’re still sick, too.

They brace themselves against the sink as the glass fills, and will themselves to make the final journey back to C. By the time they’ve returned, the glass feels like a lead weight in their hand, and their entire body is chilled and shivery all over. They do their best to help C take a few sips, holding the glass with trembling hands, bracing themselves on the bed so they don’t tip over.

“Thank….thank you,” C’s grateful eyes meet theirs, and in a split second B knows the effort was worth it. But the validation is replaced with a bout of lightheadedness that nearly topples them onto C.

“Sorry,” B gasps. “Still not up to marathons yet. Just...need a minute.” They tug their blanket tighter, closing their eyes. “And this body forgot how to stay warm when I do stuff.” C’s eyes flood with concern - even in their fevered haze, they can see B struggling.

"Want to sit for a minute?" C asks softly, patting the open spot next to them on the bed. “I’m still cold, too.”

B wriggles into the spot, propping themselves up on pillows and pulling blankets over them both. "Just a minute - you need your sleep."

C's already dozing. "S'okay. I'll sleep just fine. 'Sides, you're warm." C's nestled themselves into B's side, head resting on their chest, and B wraps an arm around C's shoulder and holds them close. They’re warm, too. Just a minute....

Many minutes later, A pokes their head in to check in on C - and finds two sick peas in a pod curled up together, C's head still on B's chest, B's arm curled protectively around C, stuffed animal squished between them, both tangled in blankets and Kleenexes.

In spite of their own exhaustion, A smiles. After everything that had happened, they had a feeling C wouldn't ever be alone again.

[rebeccccccaaa]

ι’м нєяє ƒσя уσυ

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вυ¢ку вαяηєѕ χ яєα∂єя 

Rєqυєѕт: (ANON) hi! i absolutely love your work!! i’m not sure if you’re doing requests but if you’re up for it can you please write a fluffy bucky x reader fic? maybe something along the lines of the reader kinda going through a rough patch and bucky and the team notice, bucky talks to you and helps you feel better and then later the team has a movie night and just some real tooth rotting fluff lol. it definitely does not need to be exact to my request !!! thank you so much <333

ωαяηιηgѕ: mentions of anxiety (possible attack), depressive episode, and insomnia; major angst but tooth rotting fluff!

αυтнσя'ѕ ησтє: i freaking love this request so much. i’m doing so much smut in my stories it’s nice to just sit back and cuddle bucky lol [as per usual timeline has everyone alive and well because i reject *nf*n*ty w*r and *ndg*m* ;)]

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You sat alone in the dark just as the day before; and the day before that, and the day before that. 

Recently, there’s been a higher demand for the Avengers help and truthfully it’d been extremely draining for everyone. Thankfully thought, this entire week nobody had called an avengers level threat. Unfortunately for you, you haven’t been able to get any shut eye. 

Now here you were again wide awake in the early hours of the day. It was dead silent in your room; you could hear the blood rushing in your ears and the soft thumps of your heart beat. Your breathing was irregular since you were so aware of everything little thing your body was doing and feeling. 

The clothes you wore felt gross moving along your skin with each breath you took. The blankets overheating your legs. Everything was becoming overwhelming and your anxiety spiked. 

You practically jumped out of bed and turned your light on. You went to open the curtains to let some source of light in; the moon was bright that night. But when you did so your eyes shut involuntarily from the brightness of the morning sun you weren’t aware of. 

“It’s morning?” you said to yourself. 

“What the fuck,” you mumbled, tears brimming your eyes.

You breathed out heavily, sighing, and went to your dresser to grab some day appropriate clothes. You went into the bathroom and fixed your appearance applying an extra amount of concealer and blush to hide that desperate tiredness in your face. 

When you felt you were approachable you put on a happy face just like the day before, before heading to the kitchen to grab some food. At least you were still feeding yourself and had somewhat of an appetite left. 

When you came practically the entire team was down there. 

“Good morning!” you said cheerfully.

“Morning!” everyone said back matching your enthusiasm. 

“How did everyone sleep?” you asked. You usually ask this almost to vicariously live through them; wishing for the restful nights everyone described. 

“Great.”

“Like a baby.”

“Pretty good, you?” Bucky said. 

You paused because usually no one asked you the same question, which was why you kept asking. You supposed that of course some day, someone was bound to ask about your night.

“Oh, um… could've been better,” technically that wasn’t a lie.

“Sorry to hear, doll.”

“Oh, it's fine,” you smiled and waved off. 

“Anybody got plans for today?” Nat asked everyone; no one answered except for a couple of shrugs and head shakes.

“You guys up for a movie night?”

“Yeah, sure,” everyone said. 

Everyone stayed almost the entire day in the common room watching movies, eating snacks, and talking about funny stories from missions. You stayed quiet not having any energy to converse with everyone. You felt like you were running on fumes.

You were so out of it you hadn’t realized the looks exchanged throughout everyone that knew something was off for you. Although you weren’t the loudest or most enthusiastic person on the team, you also weren’t one to not engage in conversations.

Every question or involvement of some sort in each conversation was always quickly dismissed or validated by you. Eventually you checked out entirely, holding what was possibly your seventh cup of coffee of the day. 

“Huh?” you didn’t hear the question asked by Nat.

“Y/n, you doing ok? You look sleepy,” Nat said, smiling softly.

“Uh, yeah I’m a bit tired. I think I’ll head to bed.”

Everyone looked at you strangely as you got up.

“Is there a problem?” you asked, feeling slightly more insecure.

“It’s six p.m.,” Steve said, “Pretty early for bed, don’t you think?”

“Isn’t that like your tenth cup of coffee?” Nat started.

“Are you alright, Y/n?”

“What’s going on?”

“You look pale.”

Everything was getting too overwhelming, voices echoed in your head. Tears started to form in your eyes as you stared down at your coffee before setting it down; your hands were trembling. You wanted to run away, so that’s what you did.

“Sorry, I-” you ran off hearing your name being called by some of the team.

You got to your room and slammed the door behind you. You felt humiliated and embarrassed. Your body was still shaking and you breathed heavily trying to calm down before you have an anxiety attack. 

Suddenly, a knock at your door scared the hell out of breaking you momentarily from your trance. You swung the door open to find Bucky standing at your door, worrisome written all over his face. 

“Can I come in?”

You couldn’t say anything. You wanted to but just stood there frustrated with yourself. 

“It’s ok, doll. I’m here,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you in a warm hug. 

“I don’t know why I feel like this. I hate it. I can’t sleep, I barely eat, I’m so tired,” you cried to him.

“I know,” he said.

“I just wanna- I just wanna disappear for a bit you know? Like go somewhere where I don’t have to worry about everything bad.”

“Me too,” he comforted.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a moment of silence.

“For what? You don’t have to be sorry.”

“For this,” you sniffled, “For getting boogers and tears on your shirt.”

“It’s ok,” he chuckled.

“Y/n, I know exactly how it feels. And I know that bottling all that up just makes it worse; makes you feel horrible and gross. I don’t like seeing you like this. Not sleeping, you hardly talk anymore; and it’s not just this past week we noticed your shift. I know things are hard and you feel like telling people is just gonna make them think you’re weird or a burden, but I promise you you’re not. We’re here to talk, be there for you because we know you’d do the same for us. We’re family, and we love you. We all do. I love you. So talk to me ok?”

You were a mess. Thinking about it again, you hadn’t had a restful night in a very long time; you couldn’t remember. You weren’t taking care of yourself as you normally would and it was true you spent more time alone afraid that you’d be a bother if the team noticed your upset attitude. 

Tears were falling heavily down your cheeks to your neck; some dripped to the floor. Your hands were practically gripping Bucky’s forearms pulling close to you. You wiped away the tears quickly and sniffled.

“Thank you Bucky,” you whispered, and he hugged you tightly.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” you asked him.

“Ok,” he walked over to the bed with you and climbed under the sheets. 

He was already wearing sweatpants but you weren’t. Without any care, you pulled your bottoms off for they would’ve been uncomfortable to wear to sleep and crawled beside Bucky to fall asleep. 

There was no tension between you, it was quite domestic almost. You curled up to Bucky’s side cuddling his warm body before closing your eyes. Bucky’s fingers traced along your arm that laid across his stomach while the other rubbed your head delicately. 

You opened your eyes once more and looked up at Bucky and leaned in to kiss him softly. You rested your forehead against his own and gingerly bumped your noses.

“I love you too Buck,” you whispered.

Bucky smiled and kissed you again. You closed your eyes and for the first time in too long you had a restful night; limbs tangled with Bucky’s, someone you love and trust more than anyone in the whole world. And thankfully, he felt the same way for you. 

The next morning, you actually woke up. You felt rested. You stretched your limbs out before remembering about last night and Bucky. You looked around the room and didn’t see him. 

You looked at your clock on your bedside table and noticed it was already eleven in morning; almost noon. You got change quickly and went downstairs to find everyone laughing and eating breakfast.

When you got down and joined the team Bucky looked at you and got up to hug you and kiss you gently. He smiled and sat with you at the kitchen counter where there was a plate of breakfast waiting just for you.

“Morning, how’d you sleep?” Nat asked, cheerfully just like you do to them.

“I slept,” you ended your sentence making everyone chuckled and smile.

“Seriously though, I slept very well,” you looked to Bucky and gave him a little kiss before digging into your food. 

“Oh, you guys?” you asked after a couple of bites.

“Sorry about yesterday.”

“Don’t be, we talked about this,” Bucky rubbed your thigh softly.

“I know but I still feel kinda bad for kinda ruining movie night. Can we try again tonight?” you asked.

Everyone smiled and looked to each other as if to see who had plans and eventually nodded. They came forward and huddled around you to give you a big group hug making you laugh as their cheesy antic.

“You guys are so cheesy,” you laughed.

“We love you, Y/n!” Nat shouted.

“We love you!” everyone followed.

“I love you guys too. Very much.”

[nanaminsonyfans]

✨Makeup✨

Masterlist ✨ Request Rules

Request; Hi there! I really enjoy your work especially your happy birthday (zuko x reader) one shot. May I request a katsuki bakugo x reader where the reader was having a bad day and was seeking comfort from him but he had a fight with some extras earlier and instead of helping her like she does for him he snaps at her and ends up hurting her feelings. So she ignores him for a couple of days until he finally snaps and makes a big surprise for her and they makeup. T.T

Paring; Katsuki Bakugo x Fem!Reader

Warnings; cursing, fluff, slight angst, sfw

Katsuki wasn’t always mean, okay he wasn’t also mean to you. Kirishima and you always vouched for the angry blonde, he wasn’t all around bad, he was sweet when he felt like it. You’ve know Bakugo as long as Midorya. You were friends with other of them, kinda the reason why Katsuki dialed it back after UA.

But right now, this was the first time Katsuki Bakugo, aka King Explosion Murder, aka Ground-Zero, snapped at you.

You had a really rough day, schoolwork was piling up and making you stressed, hero training was draining, and you just wanted comfort from your boyfriend. I mean, you always comforted him when he was stressed out or just mad for no season. Cuddles, making his favorite food, the works to cheer him up ya know?

Oh boy, were you mistaken.

After you got dressed out of your uniform and into your casual wear, you went to Bakugo’s dorm room, so you could cuddle. You knocked before entering because you’re a good girlfriend! When you heard his little grunt, you walked in. “Ugh, Katsu, today was so stressful...” You started but noticed his entire vibe was off. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?” You ask softly, even though you were the ONE the needed the comfort, you were known for putting others’ needs first before your own. “Nothing.” Okay then, this was Bakugo and you knew not to push it. 

“Okay, well my day was-” “No one cares about your fucking day, Y/n.” That shocked you. What the hell? Katsuki was like this with a lot of people but he treated you like a flower that would wilt at any moment. 

“Why are you being so mean to me?” Silence. Almost like he realized what he had done. “Katsuki Bakugo! You are the more insufferable person i have ever met! I love you so much but don’t you make it fucking hard as all hell! I come here to see my boyfriend hoping that maybe he’ll comfort me after a shitty fucking day but no! His great plan is to make it fucking worse. Fuck you!” Your voice cracked as your face started to turn red and hot steamy tears ran down like a waterfall. Bakugo stared at you, mortified.

You never talked to him or anyone like that, besides Mineta but still. “Fuck you! Fuck you Katsuki!” You yell as you walk out of his room, making sure to slam the door. “Y/n wait!” He got up, yelling for you down the hall, but it was too late. You were gone.

The next day he tried to talk to you. “Y/n, baby I’m so sorry. Please talk to me.” You ignored him, only giving him slight glares when he talked to you, other than that you kept your head held up high as if nothing was wrong. The day after that he tried again, still nothing.

Lucky for him, your one year anniversary was coming up, and he knew it was a big deal for both of you, but mostly you. So, he somehow convinced you to meet him in the small forestry area by the dorms. Katuski had set up a small picnic for the two of you. Heart shaped balloons, candles(false ones because we aren’t burning this place down), and he made your favorite, *insert food name here*. He was going after your heart, and you knew it.

“No.” You stated simply, crossing your arms. “What? Why not? I worked really hard Y/n!” Bakugo whined and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m not forgiving you until you properly apologize!” You hiss, “You can just win me back with a nice dinner.” “Y/n...you know that’s hard for me.” He grumbled. “Goodbye then.” You huff and turn around, as if to leave.

“Y/n, wait.” Hook line and sinker. “Fine...” Bakugo groaned and looked down before looking into you e/c eyes. “That day, some extras got to me okay? I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me Y/n.” He whispered softly and walked closer to you. “Tch, dumbass. Of course I forgive you.” You smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, which he happily accepted. 

“Dumbass.” Katsuki mumbled. “Takes on to know one.”

[dreadpoetssociety]

I’m Many Things

TW: Mention of sexual harassment

Note: I’ve never really posted these before, so please be lax if it’s bad lol. I don’t see a lot of sibling fics (understandably lol) but I feel weird writing like romantic relationshipy reader insert fics with characters that are significantly older than me. Anywayyy, here goes. This is going to be short for now. 

Note pt 2: Idk if this really is any good. Looking at it now it seems a little off or I can’t really tell if I got Spencer right, but I tried!! It’s kinda rushed, I’ll admit. Also hopefully I used a gif right lol. This is kinda cringey and I promise I’m better than this fic, but I just really wanted to break the ice and start posting them, so enjoy!! (if you have any prompts/ideas please send me some ! I wanna write some more :))

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Summary: Your brother, Spencer Reid, has to have a meeting with your principal.

Spencer Reid x Sister!reader 

(or should I say reider hahahah I’ll shut up.)

By now, Spencer was pretty familiar with the hallways of your high school, given how many times he’d been called in for meetings with various different staff members, or even from the parent-teacher conferences alone. Thankfully, the office was at the front entrance of the building, blocked off from the rest of the hallway with floor to ceiling windows, with one door. 

Reid had been informed in a very interesting phone call with the principal himself of what you had done. He was used to the petty things from you, talking back to teachers, skipping a class, vandalizing something, but the one thing you had never done, at least until now, was get into a physical altercation with another student during school. Let alone punch the principal’s son. Even so, despite the disappointment, Spencer still sensed that something was wrong in the sense that he understood you wouldn’t just do something like that out of nowhere. 

He was greeted by the women at the desk as he walked in.

“Hello, Dr. Reid. Nice to see you again.” she smiled.

“You too, if only it were under different circumstances.” Reid replied with a polite smile.

“She’s in front of the office, as usual.” the woman gestured to Reid’s right. The office had many rooms in it on its own, its own hallway and all that. Spencer walked behind the front desk and turned, seeing you sitting in a plastic chair near the end of the hall.

You turned when you heard footsteps coming down the hall.

“I know how this looks, but I promise it’s not like that.” you began explaining.

“You say that every time Y/N. This is the third time this semester I’ve had to leave work because you’ve gotten into some kind of trouble.” Spencer replied, obviously disappointed.

“This is different! Mr. Beck is being so stupid just because it’s his own son. You don’t understand, that kid is awful.” you said.

“Y/N did he hit you?” Spencer asked.

“Well, I mean, no but-” 

“That’s exactly what I mean. I understand that you’ve had it rough, but really Y/N getting violent?” Typically, Spencer would always hear you out. He was understanding, and genuinely listened, but the team was just about to leave on a case that was already stressful, and now it’s being delayed, “Y/N there’s a serial killer out west killing people every few hours, peoples’ lives are on the line and this is where I am.”

He’d never spoken to you that way. It was really unlike him, and he never put the job before you most of the time, and this hit you where it hurts.

It was then that you both were called into the principal’s private office.

“Dr. Reid, I apologize for pulling you from your busy schedule.” the man known as Mr. Beck greeted as he stood up and offered his hand, which Spencer shook.

“It’s no problem, sir, it’s not your fault.” Spencer then saw the other boy sitting in the chair on the far side of the room with a very swollen eye that would definitely be very purple later, a day or two to be more specific he thought. For teens, it takes about that long for the hemoglobin to change the red color to a more blue or purple he explained to himself in his own head, because that’s just how his mind automatically works. Either way, it was worse than he thought it’d be.

“Now, we’ve already talked about the issue over the phone, and as far as consequences go, we’ve been very lenient with Y/N for so long.” Mr. Beck began, “If I’m being completely honest, after what happened today, expulsion is being very highly considered.” 

“You’re going to expel me? You didn’t even listen to my side of the story, I’ve been sitting on that goddamn chair this entire time! You’re just taking your son’s word over mine you biased a-” 

“Y/N!” Spencer interrupted, “Mr. Beck, I understand completely why you’re upset and I’m appreciative of you patience, but expulsion seems a bit extreme. I promise I’ll talk to her and she’ll get the consequences she deserves and this won’t happen again. Suspension I can understand.” 

Great. you thought, Serial killer and now he has to save me from expulsion. Way to go again, disappointment.

“What? You didn’t even hear what happened! Your son was-” 

“Y/N that is quite enough!” Mr. Beck nearly yelled, “We’ve given you so many chances and today, my son tells me that you’ve been making fun of him and violently hurt him without reason! It is unacceptable!”

You genuinely laughed at that point, “I’m sorry what? Your son told you that I made fun of HIM? Have you ever looked at your precious son’s phone?” 

“Y/N shut up. You know what you’ve done.” Mr. Beck’s son snapped. Spencer found the phrasing quite odd. His demeanor was off putting, and he didn’t seem nervous at all. Granted, he could be in shock. Spencer recognized him, though, from pictures you’d shown him when complaining about pretty much every student in school, “You know you came up to me randomly. You know you harass me literally all of the time, and for what?”

Spencer noticed that this kid didn’t look anyone in the eye when he spoke, but slightly behind them.

“Mr. Beck, did Y/N ever say why she hit your son?”

“What does it matter what she says? She cannot be trusted and this behavior is not new. My son would not lie about this.” Mr. Beck sounded offended. 

“As a staff member, though, you shouldn’t let your biases get in the way.”

“She still physically harmed another student. Regardless of why, she must face consequences.” 

“Mr. Beck, it is only respectful to at least hear what she has to say.” Spencer argued. The young boy in the far seat’s face changed. He was nervous now. Mr. Beck sighed, and nodded towards you.

“Mr. Beck, this my come as a surprise to you, but I was NOT harassing your son. He was harassing another girl between classes. She had sent nudes to him, and then I don’t know if they had a falling out or something, but she was trying to like, I don’t know, break up with him I guess and he was following her around and pushed her up against a locker and tried to like, kiss her even though she said no. So I punched him, and then he threatened to send those pictures of her to everyone.” you stated, “Mr. Beck honestly, I’m many things, but a bully isn’t one of them. And no offense, but the last person I’m interested in even looking at is freaking Kyle Beck of all people.” you ranted. Spencer realized then that you were being genuine. You were a good liar to the naked eye, but always gave off the basic tells that Spencer could pick up on when you weren’t being truthful.

It was then that Spencer’s disappointment actually changed to pride. Although he didn’t condone the violence, he understood that you were a loner of sorts, and appreciated that you’d stand up for someone like that.

“Dad, she’s so full of crap! I would never do that, you know me!” he yelled. Reid noticed the small tremor in his voice, and quick change of behavior. 

“Y/N, I know I raised my son differently.” 

“Check his phone.” you said. 

“I know what he does.” Mr. Beck snapped.

“Sir, I believe she’s telling the truth. I say this as unbiased as I can, but I can tell when she’s lying. I am a profiler, you know.” Reid backed you up. He didn’t usually pull out the profiler card, but reading the room, now seemed like a good time. Mr. Beck was taken back for a moment before sighing, and his son’s face completely drained of color when asked to unlock the device.

It wasn’t long after that that the truth came to the surface. Your sentence went from expulsion to a month’s worth of detention.

Walking to the car, Spencer said, “You know Y/N, I don’t condone the violence, and don’t exactly agree with the way you handled that, but I am proud of you for sticking up for that girl.”

“Yeah.” you replied. He noticed that you didn’t seem happy, but more so upset.

“Y/N, what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m profiler, Y/N. You know I don’t believe that.” he said. You sighed.

“I don’t mean to disappoint you all the time,” you started as Reid’s heart sank, “I know you should be out there saving people rather than staying here and dealing with me. I’m not worth the time. I don’t know why I’m this way, I’m really sorry.”

“Y/N...” Spencer realized his mistake, “I was just stressed when I said that. You’re not a disappointment and shouldn’t apologize for just being who you are. Don’t undermine your importance, either. You mean more to me than the job.”

You smiled, “So does this mean I can come with you and look at crime scenes?”

“Absolutely not.” Reid chuckled.

“Aw, but it would be so cool! I’ll be good I promise!”

“Y/N, crime scenes aren’t cool, and you would cause trouble before we even got there.” he said, jokingly, “I bet you would even try to fly the jet.”

“Oh my god, I never even thought about doing that. That’s such a good idea.”

“And that’s why you’re not allowed to come.” Reid smiled, as they both got in the car and drove towards home. Spencer appreciated the ten minute ride while he could, knowing he would be leaving soon after. 

[machinegunbun]

🤘-

What about reader is the manager/assistant and fucks up some bug career opportunity for them?

Mistakes can allways happen but that was something really big

Maybe even gets fired for it?

Fucked It +

TW?: Mostly angst but theres some very slight smut with readers S/O

A/N: Not to age the writing but Im writing this as colson tweets that he’s gonna play at the halftime show in the next few years. S/O= Significant Other. I wanted to keep it kinda gender neutral cause bi people exist i dunno. 

Word count:1.8k A little longer than a blurb, but just as dialogue-y

This year had been stressful, to say the least. There was the release of tickets to my downfall, and along with that the cover scandal, the bloody valentine music video, downfalls high, the snl episode. It was like every second of your day was filled with something, you rarely got the chance to spend time with your S/O.

That’s right, you had an S/O. Being Colson’s manager wasn’t your entire existence, although you’d seemed to have forgotten that recently. Their name is Devin, and they are not very happy with you.

They’d broken down in tears your first full night home, telling you how under appreciated they had felt while you were away. Devin had a life of their own too, though, and considering the pandemic at hand had chosen to go stay with their family to avoid the covid hot spot that was LA. You understood, and as much as you hated to admit it you barely even realized they were gone. You didn’t know what that meant, but you knew whatever it meant wasn’t anything good for your relationship, but, you loved them and you wanted to recreate that spark.

You wanted to put work into them, and you, and most importantly your relationship. You’d gotten through the emotions, but as for the spark there was only so much you could do thousands of miles away. So, you decided to put in the work and devise a plan. Your plan started about an hour and a half ago, beginning with a shower and ending with your favorite lipstick.

You love Devin and you want nothing more than to wrap them up in a soft blanket and kiss them on the forehead and take them on picnics, but you also wanted them to look at you and touch themselves. You could do one of those things in your current situation, and you felt both would help to replenish your spark.

You looked good too, dressed in your lingerie with your hair all done. You felt so unbelievably sexy just looking at yourself in the mirror, you wished they were here to witness it.

You stood in the doorway of your bedroom, your LED lights set to red, your phone set to start recording in 

3…

2…

1…

You tried your best to pose sexily in the small frame, arching your back and playing with your hair, slowly slinking down the wall. You were sure when you sent this Devin would be calling you within seconds. You checked the video, editing it to the length you liked and saving it to your camera roll.

Butterflies began fluttering in your stomach as you looked at your message app. You had seen Devin in so long, what if the spark had really gone? What if they didn’t want you anymore? Or what if they just didn’t want you right now, what if this wasn’t the right thing to do?

You took a deep breath, looking yourself in the mirror and quickly clicking through your messages, sending it before you could think too much and clicking your phone off. You moved from the bathroom, moving to your bed, staring at your phone and waiting patiently for a response.

After thirty minutes you gave up, too nervous to check if they’d seen it. You were cool.

Well, you were cool now that you had cried and and picked yourself apart piece by piece, ending up on the couch in a heap of blankets eating a family bag of your favorite chips to yourself. Family guy played on the TV, the episode only really meant to drain out the noise of your thoughts, and momentarily the bling of your phone. You would’ve missed it entirely if it weren’t for the flickering of your flashlight that you’d enabled to make sure you didn’t.

You rushed from your comfy blanket fort, spilling your chips on the way, your hand wrapping tightly around your phone. You turned it around, seeing that the notification that had popped up was only from Dylan, the guy that got Colson a place at the halftime show. 

Work, great, the thing that started this all. Was this the universe telling you it was over? You read on.

It simply said “Call me.”

Your eyebrow raised, considering waiting until tomorrow. You opened your messages, seeing that you had accidentally sent him the video of you in your lingerie. Fuck, thats why Devin hadn’t responded.

You opened his contact, calling him quickly, each ring feeling like needles being inserted into your brain.

“So I hope you understand why we wouldn’t want to be associated with that unprofessionalism.” He said, you’d zoned out through his lecture

“I understand, I do, but I hope you’d be willing to reconsider as this was a mistake on my part and not Colson’s. And seeing as this isn’t public I hope we can just brush this all under the rug and forget it ever-”

“I hear you, but I don’t think that will be possible. Mistake or not it was unprofessional on so many different levels

“But, sir-” You tried, your fingers thumbing over the buttons of the remote to mute the tv.

“It’s over, I’m afraid.” He responded, a beeping noise signalling the call had ended

Oh, nicer, you thought sarcastically, it wasn’t the universe after all, it was the manager.

Tossing your phone on the couch beside you, you retreated to your blanket fort, unmuting the TV.

Colson and the boys had been looking forward to performing at the halftime show since you’d met them. They’d been so excited when you told them you’d got them a spot. Although it was the last thing you wanted to do right now, you knew you had to break the news to Colson. 

You stared at your phone, willing yourself to reach over and call him, eventually drifting off into an unsatisfying sleep.

“Oh good, you’re here! Okay, so I was thinking for the halftime show-” Colson began, but you cut him off before he could continue

“Oh, yeah, about that.” You say, rubbing your head in hopes it would soothe the dull ache that had begun to rear its ugly head. You opened your eyes in time to watch the excitement drop from Colson’s face.

“I…” You began, not sure how to start “I fucked it.” You began to laugh, taking a moment to acknowledge how ridiculous the situation had really been.

“What do you mean?” He asks, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Devin and I are going through a bit of a rough patch with them being away and all, so I decided to try and,” You made a vague shimmy movement with your shoulders “spark things up a bit. You know the silhouette challenge on tik tok? I did that, but I got nervous when I sent the video and I was on the couch for like hours crying too scared to see if they even looked at it, next thing I know I’m getting texted by Dylan asking me to call him.” You paused, partly for dramatic effect and partly to let yourself laugh. You buried your face in your hands, Colson watching in amusement, eager for the end of your clearly hilarious story.

“I accidentally sent him my nudes. It was so fucking embarassing, oh my god!” You finish, looking up from your hands to realize no one else seemed amused.

“What’s that got to do with the halftime show?” Rook questioned.

“Oh, right.” You’d completely lost track in the midst of your rambling “He said it was completely unprofessional and he wasn’t interested in working with us.”

Colson remained silent for a moment, looking over to the other boys before responding “He isn’t interested in working with you.” Your eyebrows furrowed at this, looking between the boys..

“What’s that mean?” 

“This is the gig of our lifetime. I’ve- We’ve wanted to play the halftime show since… forever. This was our one chance and because of you we got booted out. And you were laughing about it.”

“I’m sorry, it was a genuine accident, I thought you’d find it funny. Some corporate guy saw my tits ‘cause my relationship is failing, if I don’t laugh I cry.”

 “You’re the one who sent him the nudes. This is your fuck up.”

“Yeah, okay. But I work for you, so by association he won’t work with us.”

“Then you aren’t a part of ‘us’ anymore.”

“Colson, seriously? It was a fucking accident. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Watch your tone, I think you’re forgetting you work for me. I’m a nice guy, but this isn’t my shit to deal with.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeated, your voice lowering. It was easy to forget Colson was your boss, he never treated you like an employee. There was more respect between the two of you than any boss/employee relationship you’d ever seen before. You’d never even seen him mad before today. You were genuinely lucky to have had this experience, to think that it was about to come to an end broke your heart.

“Is sorry going to get us this gig back?” The question was rhetorical, but you shook your head “Then I’m sorry, I can’t let this pass me up because of something you did.” Colson says, staring you down. You stood like a statue in your place, unsure whether or not you should leave. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

You took it upon yourself to make the decision to turn and leave, driving to the nearest gas station, where you sat in your car, crying in the parking lot.

Everything was fine and in the matter of a week it had all gone to shit. How did this happen?

You were in a happy relationship, and now they were living with their parents for who knows why and telling you they felt neglected. Your career was going amazing and you’d ruined it completely with one mistext.

You started your car back up, settling on the hope that maybe Colson and Dylan would come to their senses, and come Monday morning you would still have a job.

[childofhalloween]

A Story With No Name Aka Why You Don't Ask Idoits for Dating Advice

So this was a short little one shot I got an idea for after binging Graystillplays Sims videos for days. If the formatting or anything seems off it's because I wrote it all on a phone. Well this short one shot turned out 9 pages long opps. So I hope you enjoy. Also writing an Austrillis slow burn not really sure where it goes but if anyone is interested let me know. Anyways onto the show! Thomas Alan Wenis better known as Tommy looked down at the paper in his hand. This address had to be a mistake. He had just flown down to Florida to get away for a while, see the ocean, maybe even clear up his depression. He hadn't brought much with him just an old suitcase and what little money he drained from his savings account.

That was exactly what attracted him to the random message board offering low rent living. With the price of rent all Tommy was expecting was a cot in a closet somewhere. Not that he minded as long as he had a roof and somewhere to put his black boots he didn't care.

But this, this wasn't right. Couldn't be right. The place was huge. Probably the biggest house he had ever seen. 4 floors are least and he could see the corner a large pool in the back.

He checked the address of his contact Melvin, and it matched. This had to be some sort of scheme. He knew it was too good to be true, like everything else in his life.

With a sigh he picked up his bag walking to the front door. Maybe they would be able to at least point him in the right direction.

Ringing the bell he sat out on the front step for a moment before the large oak door opened and a man dressed only in a towel and some sneakers opened the door.

"Uhhh hi. I'm sorry to disturb you but I am looking for someone at this address. His name is Melvin." Tommy said avoiding eye contact with the red haired man.

"Yeah that's me! Melvin Eugene Johnston. But everyone just calls me Florida Man." He said holding out his hand Tommy awkwardly taking it. "You must be Tommy!"

"Uhhh yeah. I'm sorry did I come at a bad time?" He said motioning to the towel.

"Huh this? Nah. Just like to feel a cool breeze if you know what I mean." He joked opening the door motioning for him to come in.

The place was almost too much for Tommy to take in but nonetheless followed Florida Man on a tour around the house.

"I uhhh….I hate to say I think I miss understood about the price." Tommy said knowing their was no way he could ever afford a place like this.

"Oh don't stress about it. Just get me the $300 whenever. Everyone here is pretty cool. We all just pitch in when we can ya know? We all take turns cleaning and cooking….well except for Aussie. Fire department said they are gonna fine us for another kitchen fire." He said casually. Tommy couldn't help but wonder what he was getting into.

"Then toss in some cash for some beers or food when ya can. Everyone just kind of does their own thing. You will see all kinds of people come and go. Right now we got a lot of our 'lifers'."

"How can you afford this place?" Tommy said looking at another large staircase.

"Oh it's already paid for. I bought it with the money from my lawsuit with Madonna."

"You sued Madonna!?!" Tommy said, not believing what he was hearing.

“Oh yeah I did. Her show was supposed to start at 8 she didn't go on till 10. I wasted so much money on overpriced water down beer I don't even remember the damn thing. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital. Apparently I fell down 12 rows of concrete stairs trying to get some nachos from concessions." He said casually as he continued. "Then I used the money I won to buy this place but it got lonely & quiet by myself so I started renting out rooms. Made for one big odd family."

Opening a door he motioned to Tommy "So here's your room. Get comfortable. When you're done feel free to head on down to the kitchen, meet everyone."

Tommy had hoped he could even find his way back down to the kitchen. It was going to take a little while to get used to this place. He still couldn't wrap his mind around all of this.

But unbeknownst to him the craziest part was yet to come. His new roommates.

Finally finding the kitchen he saw Floridaman busy having a beer next to a tall man with the most epic red beard he'd ever seen and a smaller but seemingly louder blond wearing sunglasses. And behind them both a slightly deranged looking man with jet black hair.

They all seemed to get quiet as he walked awkwardly into the kitchen.

"I was wondering if you were going to find us." Florida Man said thrusting a Bud Lite in Tommy's hand not bothering to ask if he'd want one. "Boys this is our newest guest Tommy Wenis"

The blond let out an almost mocking laugh.

"Wenis!?! Ya gotta be bloody kiddin me. Bet that must have been a rough primary career. The names are just endless!"

"Don't listen to him, he can be a jerk but he doesn't really mean it." The redhead said standing up holding out his hand cordially. "Names Tim by the way."

"Ahhh I'm just taking the piss with ya mate...kinda. Name's Trevor but everyone here likes to call me Australian Man. Ya know obvious reasons."

Finally the dark hair man with the slightly odd shaped face spoke up. "And I'm Colono. Colono Scopy"

"Uh huh...so is this everyone who lives here?" Tommy said looking at the motley crew in front of him.

"No the girls are off doing something or another. I think they mentioned girls day. I don't know I wasn't listening." Florida Man said, looking at the clock on the stove. "But they should be back any minute."

As if on cue the door opened and the sound of over lapped talking was heard.

"Speak of the devil mate." Australian Man said slightly in awe of Florida Man's timing.

A brunette wearing what looked to be a thrift store tourist shirt walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Whitley come here meet our new roommate Tommy." Florida Man said.

"Hey I'm Whitley " she shook his hand. He couldn't help but notice the slight smell of cheap bottom shelf vodka radiating off her.

Next a woman walked in with the best blond afro Tommy had ever seen.

"Hey Bab this is our new roommate Tom-"

"Maybe he'll last longer then the others." Bab said almost miserably as she walked out the back door not stopping.

"Sorry she's kin-d of…." Florida Man tried to think of the word.

"Manic Depressive." The girl with blonde and pink braids said matter of factly. "Text book diagnosis really."

"Are you a Dr?" Tommy asked everyone just laughed.

"Not in the slightest. Just been through a lot of psychologists."

"Ellis Dee, meet Tommy." Florida Man introduced.

"Tommy Wenis." Australian Man said with a snicker.

"Oh my God do people call you Tiny Wenis?" Ellis said with a giggle.

It didn't matter though because all Tommy's attention was now focused on the tall blond with golden hair walking in. He had never seen anyone like her. She was like nothing he'd ever encountered. She was…..she was…..she was absolutely stunning.

"Whose that?" Tommy asked Tim quietly.

"Huh? Oh that's Beth. Be nice, she's a sweet girl." Tim whispered back.

"Hey Beth say hi to Tommy the new guy." Florida said.

"Hi name's Beth." She introduced herself in a thick Southern accent.

"I….uhh...I'm Tommy." Tommy managed to mumble out.

All the guys exchanged an odd look.

"So where are ya rollin in from?" She asked with a smile.

"....I uhhh… I come from….places. I gotta go." He said, scrambling out of the kitchen to his room.

"That was odd." Colono said all the others nodded.

As the months went on Tommy found he had more in common with this rag tag bunch then he ever had with anyone else. He spent his days joking with Colono, drinking beers with the Florida Man & Australian Man, discussing art with Bab Ross, hitting the occasional bong with Ellis Dee, and pretty much bonding with everyone.

Everyone that is except for Beth. It seemed like every time they had a moment together his mind just blanked. Like it shut down to nothing and he couldn't figure out what the hell to say so he would say something awkward and just excuse himself.

It became apparent to everyone what was going on, everyone that was except Beth as she walked into the living room one day.

"Mind if I sat by ya hun?" She asked. He looked up at her eyes wide.

"I….uhh….murder show…..its over…..here you go. For you." He said, tossing the remote at her feet before running out the room.

"Ouch that was painful to watch." Australian Man looked up from the card game the guys had been playing.

Tommy pulled out a chair and plopped down not responding.

"Hey man, it's0 ok you will get her next time." Florid Man said putting a hand on his shoulder sympathetically….well really trying to sneak a peek at Colono's cards

"Ughhh. It's like everytime I try to talk to her I look like a total ass." Tommy grumbled.

"Yah we know, we all seen it." Australian Man joked as threw another chip in the pot.

"Well what am I supposed to say? Hey I think you're gorgeous, will you have a coffee with me?" He said, causing all the other men to laugh.

"No, no. You're thinking too much into it. What women love to hear is compliments." Tim Horton said as Bab Ross happened to walk past. "Watch this."

"Hello Bab you are looking positively radiant today!" Tim said, putting on a charming smile.

"Whatever you say Tim." Bab said with a shrug as she kept walking.

This caused all the other men to crack up.

"Laugh all you want but she acknowledged me. That's progress."

"Nah ya got it all wrong mate. What birds really dig on is a badass." Australian Man said getting up walking to the back yard. "This is how it's done boys."

Strutting slightly he slid up to Ellis Dee who was sitting outside enjoying the sun.

"Hey Ellie." He said acting casual.

"Oh hey Aussie what's up?"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I fought off a whole colony of bog frogs?"

"No I don't think you have."

"Yeah I was out with some blokes and came across these wee little bog frogs must have been mating season or something because next thing I know I'm surrounded by the little wankers! So I start beating them off me. Kicking, punching them in their little frog faces. Just throwing them off left and right. Turns out the little bastards were poisonous. Woke up in the hospital 2 weeks later handcuffed to the hospital bed. Turns out those little piss frogs are on the 'endangered species' list. Luckily for me though the judge granted the coma as time served. All I got was probation and I'll be off that by next year." Australian Man said cooly before something hit him.

"Probation…..OH SHIT! My probation meeting!" He said looking down at his watch. "I'm 6 fucking months late! I can not be arrested again! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" he said running into the house leaving behind a very confused Ellis Dee.

All the guys watched as Australian Man ran through the house screaming obscenities as he looked for his cell phone.

"Anyways….what about you Florida Man. How do you talk to the ladies?" Tim Horton asked.

Florida Man shrugged and got up walking to the kitchen to see Whitley at the table drinking a large glass of orange juice.

"Bud Lite?" Florida Man offered holding out a beer. She looked at him confused.

"Its only 11 not even noon. Too early for beer." she said.

"Ok." Florida Man said walking back with both beers.

"Mornings are for screwdrivers." Whitley said to herself pour more dollar vodka into her drink.

"No, no I am sure I called. Yeah right when I landed. No I made sure I message with a Shelly? Or maybe a Jan? Or was it a Steven? I'm not sure. Mighta been a new?.....oh maybe a temp! Bloody hard to find good help huh? I'm sure it's there just check the last few months. Ring when this is all cleared up." Australian Man said, hanging up his phone not waiting for a reply on the other end. "Bloody cunts..….so what'd I miss."

"That's it. That's the only move I got." Florida Man said with a shrug.

"You guys are hopeless. No wonder I'm the only one in a relationship." Colono complained before turning to Tommy. "Tommy don't listen to them they are all going to die alone."

"Hey!"

"Fuck ya too!

"That was rude….but true."

"Women, they love romance. You can sweep a woman off her feet just by words. Just watch my example gentlemen." Colono said as he sauntered out the door to Flo Cane who was watching tv.

"Oh there she is mi amor. I was looking everywhere for you." He said sliding next to her.

"What is it? On no! Are you having issues again? Is the burning back? Have you been taking your meds? Do I need to call the Dr for you again?"

"What!?! No! That's not it!" Colono said in a panic as the sound of laughter came from around the corner.

"Hey don't listen to them. You know stress makes it worse." Flo comforted.

"It's not that!" Colono said frustrated.

"Are you sure? I know how cranky you get when you forget to take your meds."

"I'm not cranky!" Colono yelled as he stormed off.

"I'm making you an appointment just to be sure! I know you are scared of making phone calls." She shouted after him as he stormed off.

The other guys were currently in a huge pile on the floor in total hysterics none of them were able to stand. It took almost 10mins for them to calm down to breathe.

Finally collecting himself Tommy stood up straightening out his clothes. After all that advice he had finally figured it out. He knew what he had to do. Mustering up all the courage he could he moved forward before he could chicken out.

"Where are you going?" Florida Man asked as Tommy made his way outside.

"I'm going to do what I need to." He said walking out into the back yard where the girls currently huddled together talking about how weird the morning had been.

"Hello ladies. Can I talk to Beth alone please?" He asked.

Suddenly a lot made sense as they gave each other a knowing look.

"She's all yours." Whitley said with a l knowing smirk.

Silence still overcame the 2 as they sat there totally obvious to the group of 8 peering around the corner.

"What did you want to talk about?" Beth asked looking over slightly confused about what had been going on. From what she heard it's been a very confusing day.

"I…..I…." He took a deep breath before blurting out quickly. "I think you're absolutely gorgeous and would you like to get coffee with me?"

It took Beth a moment to even figure out what he had said and then another for it to really register.

"You, you think I'm pretty?" She said shocked no one had said anything like that before.

"Gorgeous actually." He said his face was burning red. "Look if I offended you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Yes." She cut him off.

"Huh?"

"I would love to get coffee with you." She said as a big smile crossed her face.

"Ok when?"

"Now?" She suggested.

"Sounds great." He said getting up offering his hand to her. "I know a great place."

They both walked right past the group of the gawkers so invested in their conversation they didn't even seem to notice.

"Oh my God that is the sweetest thing I've ever seen!" Whitley gushed.

"Guys are never that romantic. She's so lucky." Flo said wistfully.

"Man I wish I could find someone who thinks like that." Ellis mused.

"Yeah it was pretty nice." Bab said in her bored Bab tone.

"Are ya fucking kidding me right now!?!" Australian said, throwing his hands up in the air as he stormed back inside.

"Seriously? That? That's it? Thats romantic?" Colono complained following behind.

"Wow guy did have some skills after all." Florida said patting Tim on the back sympathetically as Tim mumbled to himself annoyed.

"What's their problem?" Bab asked.

"Men are weird." Whitley said all the other girls nodded in agreement.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Before Dawn ~ Pt2~

Hii!! This is part two of my new series. I hope every one of you like it, I'll be tagging the story with it's title so it's easier to find.

Warnings: mentions of attempted murder

@wakatosji I figured I should tag you but if you don't want me to tag you its alright, I don't want to be annoying ❤️

Comfort tea

"Ew?" First goes Lynne. Her face is contorted with a puzzled expression as she lifts her eyebrow to Petra's sudden requiry.

"Well, yeah, kinda" Nanaba shoots a glare to Nifa, as if judging her for her choice of words before she simply brushes the question with waving her hand. Seconding that, as if she knows what you were about to say a few moments before she sets her blue set of eyes on you. A gulp finds its way down your throat as her cold gaze pierces through your body and it's not long until you get the message. The girls' voices echo through your head as if you're listening from afar for you're drunk in your own thoughts.

For instant, you hate the fact that the first time you try to willing open up about a new feeling, you're overshadowed. The urgent need to spill your guts on the subject becomes more prominent by every single minute passing and yet you force yourself to keep it in. You're not about to physically burst your guts like a corpse under the hot summertime sun because of your emotions, so you should be fine if you collect your impatient self.

"Shut up Petra, I'm serious." A playful chuckle leaves Lynne's mouth.

Maybe, it's the fact that Nanaba knows you too well that lifts some weight off of you for now when at the same time she's stopping you from saying something you'll regret. And thus, you bite your lip and reluctantly decide to ignore the throbbing of your own thoughts.

"He handpicked me for his squad!"

:readmore:

Oddly enough you don't feel any jealousy creeping in your system by hearing Petra's words thanks to Nanaba putting you in your place. Even though, you're sadly reminisced of various scenes of your past where you've been in this very position after your mother has barked at you to stay in place you utter not a single word. Your head almost always automatically goes blank so you're not taken aback by your lack of reaction. Whatever Petra says you're sure going to overthink later, when sleep won't be willing to take you for the night.

"Captain really needs someone else in his squad right? Everyone has five members and he has four. (Y/n) why are you even in Mike's team, you could fill this blank right?"

"It's a special operations squad Nifa you dummy! He handpicked everyone!" Petra's adorable bunny smile is directed towards Nifa this time who gives her a cute puckered smirk of approval in return. It's almost too precious of an interaction for you to miss.

"Mike handpicked (y/n), right after me." Nanaba's voice bores casually into conversation while she takes her eyes away from her plate and lands them onto you. "So, what were you about to say?"

"Uhm" Your mind trails back to today's most random event "Henning imitated Tomas after I said good morning and scream 'nice tits (y/n)'. I totally gave him the finger." This simple choice of words helps avoid any unnecessary drama in your girls group. At least you had some dignity not to throw hands over a man anyways.

_____

"Hange stop squishing my cheeks, I can't sit with the higher ups."

"But you did last week!"

"You dragged me!"

Hange's response is only a silent hmf followed by her ever so memorable toothy mischievous grin. She begins taking steps towards you that only increase as one foot follows the other. Despite not being in a playful mood, you decide that running seems to be the best thing to do in the moment to get yourself away from her. If she catches you, she's dragging you with her once again.

Your heart is erratically pounding in your chest as you sprint down the many hallways of the headquarters, out of breath and dizzied by hunger. You reluctantly pause for a second to catch your breath amidst waiting for the inevitable to happen. Devil sure works hard but Hange and her determination work harder, you're reminded of that everyday, you tell yourself, not only when her hand lands onto your shoulder. You mentally punch yourself in the throat for not keeping your body in a better shape.

"I am not letting you starve again, let's go!"

All while during dinner you converse with Mike and Erwin on shortage of hygienic and sanitary products, something that concerns the commander excessively. Soldiers' access to basic necessities is always a top priority in the Scouting Region and commanders are to always tend to their needs. Erwin is and should be no different.

Levi seems to have his mind in your conversation and ignores Hange entirely while she's speaking some Titan nonsense to him. His eyes often widen when Erwin expresses concern on lack of soap and talks about his predictions on its practical annihilation, but it's only what you utter next that grabs his attention enough for him to turn his head in your direction.

"We can make soap. We don't have to keep putting orders for it to be made. I was taught to make soap at home and I'm sure many other girls know."

Silence spreads fast as if a traveling shadow on sunset on the table after you speak. Erwin's batting his eyes in yours, Mike too and Levi looks at you with that usual unamused expression of his. How come they had never thought about that?

Well probably because it wasn't always that there was such shortage in almost fucking everything.

"My office after dinner, cadet." Levi speaks, breaking the silence with his stern sounding voice. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

__

"Yes sir!" You reply in a heartbeat with a small bow of your head.

Not long after, the distinguishable tone of the curfew bell fills the air, making most soldiers get up from their seats instantly. Levi sits still in his spot as his fellow higher ups bid him with farewells and goodnights to which he replies with casual, nonchalant hums. Upon seeing most of the plebe has left he orders you to stand up and follow him.

He can't help but take a few vague looks of you with the corner of his left eye and he wonders if you do the same from time to time as you march behind him. It doesn't take long for the two of you to reach his quarters, but when you do he takes a stand to unlock the door before proceeding to let you in, him following asuit behind you.

"Here have a seat." He offers unsure of where to point to except for the dark colored loveseat near his desk. "I wanted to know how you even took the knife out of my hands." He watches as your facial expression turns into something along the lines of an almost undetectable disgust and sorrow, your brows forrow and your lips pucker. You couldn't hide it even if you wanted to and maybe the fact that he provoked such reaction from you bit suddenly on his gut and kept chewing on it.

"Just because you were a thug, doesn't mean you're the only one who gets to handle a knife you know." You finally answer, scratching and scrunching your nose in uneasiness. Almost mechanically, the next question comes out of his mouth without remorse.

"Oi what does a brat like you want to do with a knife. You don't strike me as the thug type. You're too uptight for that." A few moments later his gut is going to make him regret ever asking you in the first place.

"Uptight? Ugh, why would you even care, I bet your mother didn't try to murder you in your sleep or with any chance she could."

He grits his teeth inside his mouth and immediately closes his eyes in horror. That horrible feeling of his gut being chewed forms into bits and pieces of wild inner comburst within his organs. Though he cannot phantom what you have been through, he is able of making vivid potential images in his mind that will probably contribute to another sleepless night.

He turns to face you in hopes of being able to mouth anything that could cut through the uneasy tension he's created but at the sight of you he's overthrown. That heart breaking sob that leaves your lips, those thick streams of tears down your cheeks, he won't make it if he keeps looking at you in this condition, all he wants to do is scream, for he's witnessed enough cruelty and damage in this world and it seems that it's never enough. Human bloodlust is never enough.

"I'm s-sorry. I just. Why did I say that?" You faintly utter with uncertainty masking your shaky voice.

"It's fine, as long as you get over it." He definitely despises himself because of that line because in the name of heaven and hell how do you simply ask someone to get over such trauma without sounding like an entitled asshole. The motions that his eyes catch in the dim light of his office are skinny, hard but fragile at the same time and they all hint to you wanting to leave, presumably due to the lack of consolation on his part. He just determined he'll do better. You helped Isabel back on the day so he lets you this one.

"I-I'll excu-"

"Do you have any prefered beverages?"

"M-milk tea" you quietly huff. He's not quite sure whether a drink will ease your boiling pain, but at least he's hoping it'll soothe your current state.

His heart is officially aching with agony and pain that refuses to mellow even a notch, even if he begs to any profoundly selfclaimed wall God. Ever since a year ago he's been living within the heart of crime and downgrade garbage, respected for his violent ways and easily feared for his inhuman skills. In that dirty, shit smelling drain, overpopulated with humans or rats -or probably both, he can't possible distinguish them- who piss in any corner they find, he thought he'd seen any gruesome thing a man can do, but that rough melancholy in your eyes convinces him he's so casually wrong.

"I apologise for bringing such subject up, (y/n), here's your tea. Though due to shortages we don't have any milk." You matter him a word of gratitude as he sets the cup next to you. He'll never let you know, but he notices you're surprised by his actions even in that state you're in.

"She's dead. My mother. She died last month and-" you trail off your words "I guess it's more of me being emotionally chained to my abuser." Levi just pops his head in his palms and sighs deeply at the sound of that but never comes to find the right line up his textureless thoughts should take for him to form a sentence.

"Kinda looks like piss don't you think?"

"Huh?" If he could hear your words correctly and not partially because of the turbulence in his mind he would have thought of an instant smart come back.

"The tea, it looks like piss." At the sound, he barely manages to hold in a chuckle.

He knows yet he manages to only scoff in response. "I had to tremendously water it down, be mindful." He opts to suggest always in that bland tone of his.

"Do other people except from us drink it like that?"

"I desperately want to doubt that anyone cares to provide for your golden shower enthusiasm, so no. This is some of my personal stash."

The two of you enjoy your comfort tea in sheer silence. Levi can't take his eyes off of you, not that he's trying to, but he tries to convince himself it's only because you've verbally shared your trauma with him. In return, for some of his, he didn't have to share, you were there to see Isabel's head laying on the blood stained grass with Farlans upper body accompanying it. He wants to speak up, but his mouth is seldomly never in a place to voice out the exact thoughts in his head, so even if he tells you about Kenny and his childhood you never get to hear it. In addition, he's not the one to try and overshadow somebody who speaks about themselves by sharing his experience so the comfortable silence that has sprawled in the whole of his office is more than enough.

______

Here's the deal. Henning likes Lynne, Lynne likes Tomas, Tomas likes you and you like Captain Levi, not that hard to grasp right? As long as no one neglects their soldier duties everything is fine.

It's a plain sunny Sunday in the Survey Corps headquarters. Mike is on a day out, perhaps strolling around the city of Trost in chance of finding any merchant to provide for soldiers necessities, while you're assigned with cleaning his office.

Levi is standing at the doorframe, back pressed upon it with his hands crossed over his chest as he supervises the six of you go. He promised the blond squad leader to keep an eye on his team seeing that things would get heated up pretty easily nowadays, ending up in heated arguments most of the time as well.

Every time his eyes meet yours you avert your gaze away, specifically to the floor you're set on scrubbing until your hands bleed. He can't help but notice it. Small little movements of awkwardness from his part make you tense even if you're oblivious to his awareness of the fact.

"Tch" He tries his best to shake you off the territory you're occupying in his mind. It's not right for him to endulge in something frowned upon after having just received a position as a high rank. That's not his purpose here. Emotions should never color your judgement in battlefield.

"I'm taking a break." You call to the others as you stand from your kneeling position. You pat your hands dry on the sides of your hips and you hope Levi doesn't notice, because you won't see the end of this.

"I'm coming with you! Wait for me." Tomas announces and you respond a soft 'sure' along with a warm smile. "Ah God, I'm so thirsty!" The two of you walk past Levi at the door, but you never spare him a look, in fact you're too invested in your small talk with Tomas to even ask for permission to excuse yourselves.

"Love birds, huh Nanaba?" Gelgar elbows the blonde with puckered his lips, a ridiculous expression plastered on his face. "I wonder how long until we get the good news-"

"Gelgar just shut up."

"What Lynne? Poor Tomas might finally get his chance with the kid."

Lynne loves you and your group of friends deeply. She and Nanaba are probably the big sisters of the group. They've stuck with you, Nifa and Petra through thick and thin, through bloodshed and tragedy, so she's not mad at you for having caught Tomas' attention. With your melancholic youthful face, (h/c) hair that blows softly in the wind, with the way you pucker your lips when you're determined or angry. She's probably mad at herself for never acting on that cadet trainee crush she had on Tomas. She sets her mind on recovering quickly from it.

Despite opening her mouth to speak, she notices it's not her voice that's heard, but in fact it's a deeper, almost nasal one.

"Set to work, tch, don't waste your energy on royal teenage drama."

"Sir! Yessir!"

Irritated, Levi bites the inside of his cheek, without ever changing the look in his eyes. You were kind and behaved well mannered to everyone, that was all. That was was led you to act nice to Isabel and what led her to speak highly of you to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

"It's alright! Get up" with your eyes shut, you smile at the redhead who's sprawled across the grass while holding out your hand to her. Isabel smiles back and she proceeds to take your hand, taking another chance to spare with you again.

For a few nights she won't shut up about you. How you don't look down on her like other girls do, how you iron her clothes just like her big bro does.

"I'm going to miss her when were free of here, Farlan!" The red head takes a bite of her bread and munches softly on it. Before she even has a chance to speak another word she feels a hand ruffle her hair but notices that Levi's hands are concentrated on the simple task of feeding food in his mouth. She spares you a heart warming smile and wave but you fail to reciprocate as your friends gesture you to sit.

"You're gonna make me miss her too and I don't even know her." Farlan says and places a hand at the top of his head, scratching a soft spot.

"Ahh, big bro! Can we kidnap her!"

"We're not kidnapping anyone. We need to focus on our mission alright Isabel?"

Isabel shushes at this but doesn't fail to shoot you a glare. And this time you respond with a wave. Whatever you lack in word choosing skills you make up for kind acts. She wishes they kidnap you, she needs a female friend anyways.

Hey you there, yes you, thanks for taking time and reading this, I appreciate it more than I can express. If you want to see me write something for you make sure to leave a request in my askbox! Any comments on how you're enjoying the story are also very appreciated. Much love until next time 💕

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Missing Scene

Quick missing scene from If I Were To Lose You. After I’d finished, I regretted not going back to Michael’s pov for a moment but couldn’t decide how, so just wrote some fluff here while he’s still in his fire squid form. I’m just in a very fluffy hug mood tonight, before the stress of the week begins

*

There had once been a time when he’d dreamed of what it felt like to be cold. A time when he’d tried to imagine the sound of snow crunching beneath him or to swim the ocean without it boiling away by his intense heat.

After today he thinks he’s had enough experience with ice for a millennia. 

It’s not so bad without the arrows digging into his body, their tips charged with arcane magic, freezing his insides and draining him of his natural temperature. The wounds still hurt like a bench but at least he can feel the awful cold leaving him, helped a lot by the little fires his friends have quickly crafted around him...and one of them being snuggled as close as she can get.

Eleanor hasn’t left his side, her head rested against his large spongy body, her eyes closed as if she could fall asleep against him.

She’s not tired though. Not physically.

His demon vision is just as perceptive as it is when he’s in his human suit. He can see the little boulders of green and blue energy crushing against her. Guilt. Guilt and...regret? Michael scarcely remembers seeing her weighed down by this much shame, even all those times she tried to truly atone for her crimes on Earth.

Feeling a little more energised, though still rather weak, he raises his tentacle to nudge her cheek. 

She opens her eyes and smiles, reaching out to put her fingers around the tip.

If there was one blessing to her vengeful assault, it was that it took away his foul juice and flames, enough to be close to her in his true form. He feels as though he should be pushing her away, in case his essence recharges enough that he starts to leak and grow and burn again...But he thinks he’ll know if that will happen. And hopefully Derek will have his suit ready by then.

For now, he keeps all of his eyes on Eleanor, wishing he could smile at her. He blinks, slowly, six times, giving a soft purr as she squeezes his tentacle.

“How’re you doin’, buddy?” she whispers, her voice a little cracked from where she’s been quietly crying to herself.

Please, don’t, he wants to say. Don’t cry over me. You didn’t know, it was nothing personal...

So she says. He tries to shove aside his fear that her reaction was always destined to be as it was when finding out what he is.

No. She’s here. As soon as she found out, he saw her entire spirit shift.

She’s as close as he has any right for her to be. She’s smiling at him like...he isn’t a giant, disgusting, wounded squid.

He moves another tentacle to brush against her face (careful of the teeth).

“Yeah...Sorry for getting all goopy on you. It’s been a rough day...Not that I have to tell you that.” She sighs, stroking him with her palm again.

Her touch feels so soft, so nice.

She wouldn’t touch him like that, with so much acceptance, if she didn’t mean it.

“I wish you had told us from the start what you were. I believe Jason, I’m sure you had reasons, but...If you think for a second we wouldn’t wanna be friends with you knowing you were this? This...pretty awesome kickash Cthulu? Then you must have a teeny tiny brain in that giant body of yours, dude.” She whispers, leaning against him again.

Oh...Kickash? He didn’t think he’d ever get to be called that. Violence really wasn’t his thing, which should have been the first sign he was no ordinary demon.

He moves his tentacle to curl around her, bringing her close, almost holding her to him as he’s not really able to lean into her - and he doesn’t want to roll into her in case he squashes her. He might be pretty far off his usual six thousand feet but he’s still a lot bigger than this rather tiny human.

“I’m kinda glad you can’t talk right now. Means you don’t get to try interrupting me when I tell you how awesome we think you are. Or how sorry I am. Or how much we care about you. You just gotta lie here and take it.” Eleanor sighs, “But I can’t wait to have you back in your human suit, Michael. I can’t imagine not hearing that voice of yours again.”

Another soft rumble against her. She must know that not being able to communicate, unable to have his friends hear his cry for help, was one of the most horrifying parts of what happened this evening. 

Then having her corner him here, shrunken and extinguished, ready to gut him like a fish...It had only been that little mention in her speech of her true motivations that helped him cling onto hope. She had done all of this, taken him down with such brutality...because of how much she cared about him. That still felt surreal, which was saying a lot considering the fantasy environment he was raised in. He wants to explain it to her. He wants to be truly honest now.

I need my voice to tell you not to feel bad. I need it to tell you how cool you looked with that crossbow. 

I need it to tell you...It’s okay, Eleanor.

As long as she says it is.

“I think I’ll even be glad to listen to one of your terrible songs again.” She jokes and he jostles her a little, disgruntled. Then he feels her smile against him, warming him through as much as the campfires, despite those rocks of regret still heavy on her form.

He strokes a soothing tip down her back, already trying to come up with some lyrics.

In all fairness, he is due some payback.

[rigelmejo]

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

[grantzarrr]

I’m a man e.d

A/n: hii, im back, i took a short little break to focus on my mental health and im feeling good now honestly so i thought i should bring something along:)) hope you like

warnings: just smut

summary: Y/n always had trouble with finding someone to make her cum, but what happens when she looks into the man she always wants?

fuck, look at her, with her legs cross like she isn’t looking how she is. fucking hot that’s how she’s looking.

those were Ethan’s thoughts everyday he seen her, he sure know they way when she laughed she would lightly hug herself or when she smiled it lit up the whole room and when she was telling her friends a joke or just a small story everyone listened and had a hard laugh. he also knew her sexy moments, when she was going to a party with her friends she would look sexy in every dress, had every guy drooling over her. which is why Ethan always went with her, she never knew it but he did.

now let’s backtrack, Collin, the twins best friend, is Y/n Brother and even though she ‘off limits’ Ethan seemed to have fallen deep into her, jerking himself off to her bikini pics almost every night. and every time Collin said “she’s off limits e.” he grew infuriated that he couldn’t have her, that he couldn’t hold her, fuck her right because he knows those other little boys couldn’t fuck her right, hell, make her cum. he could, he would pound into her make her scream and shake for him, he’ll have her pretty little pussy wet in a second. but he couldn’t show it, he wouldn’t show it, he wasn’t quite sure she even knew him, which made him more angry.

Y/n knew Ethan, she knew him very well, she thought of him fucking her every one night stand that she had, imaging it was him instead of the other boys, that hardly knew where her clit was, is what got her off. yes she knew it was wrong fucking someone but thinking about another but oh god was Ethan sexy. It’s as if Ethan was man compared to them, a man that could make her cum that’s what she needed, craved.

“bro, could you go get me a drink?” Collin asked, Ethan immediately agreed knowing full well Y/n was in there, just looking for an exuse to go in there. once he started walking into the kitchen he heard her talking to one of her friends on the phone.

“yes, I think friday night is perfect, the weather would be perfect and- i’ll call u back Kate.” she hunged up and hopped off the island and walked towards the fridge, where Ethan was. “hi, Ethan.” she giggled a bit, that scared him a little but he caught himself “uh, hey.” he said shutting the door and turning her way. “would you like to go to a party with me?” he started pondering, why is she asking him? was this a joke? a little game, hm? but he started to play her little game.

“are you asking me out, y/l/n?” giving her a small smirk, “maybe, but since I know you like me you’re answer is yes.” she eyed him down and he swears that you’re giving him them innocent fuck me eyes. “hm, I wont go then.” his smirk got bigger when her face slowly dropped “what?, im sorry i assumed but-“

“I simply wont go because I know fridays are when your bother is gone and you love to leave the door open to touch yourself and I know you love to whimper my name, angel.” he spoke in her ear. she did not expect that, she also didn’t expect his words to effect her much. her eyes widened as he chuckled a bit, his ego growing fully knowing his inpack on her. those other boys never got her wet without touching her, they never gave her butterflies or even maje her throb and Ethan only spoke. “how did you know that?” her voice softened, which just melted Ethans heart. “babe trust me, I know you better than you think, I know what you like and dont. what makes you scream and what makes you cry.”

right when she was going to answer Grayson walked in, “yo bro, it’s getting dark we better head home.” he said grabbing his keys, Ethan looked at Y/n and back at the fridge, “uh I gotta give Collin his water bro.” he came up with an exuse. it was an awkward silence between Grayson and Y/n, they hardly talked, but when they did it was always about Joey, Joey was Y/n’s ex boyfriend that Collin always gloated on how, him and Y/n were soulmates. “how have you and Joey been, Collin said you went to his house?” Grayson asked, just starting up a conversation to pass time while his brother took the up the most time. “um, we broken up but we kinda did some things, no bigges.”

Ethan heard that while reaching the bottom steps, that was Joey’s house? he really need to step up his game if he didn’t know she faked that whole orgasm. “Gray, I need to talk to her, wait in the car?” Grayson was confused he didn’t knew they talked but he nodded and went ahead. “angel, I know for a fact that Joey didn’t fuck you right. Friday I say you cancel the party and i’ll show you what a good time looks and feels like.” he cocked his eyebrows at her and watched as the words drained from her body, she never became this speechless.

“god Kate, hes like a fucking man, he knows how to say the right things and he doesn’t have to touch me!” Y/n exclaimed on the phone. “wow, so are you sure he know what he’s doing? or is he just good with words because you had a lot of those.” Kate laughed, teasing her really but she knew of the Dolans and the girls they’ve had in the past that claim the Dolan Dick was nothing to laugh at. “haha very funny Kate, but i’m being serious, it’s like he just knows what I like! Kate he knows about the Friday thing!” that’s what shocked Kate the most, was he just a big stalker? “are you sure he isn’t spying on you hello!? How the fuck do he know that!” she exclaimed, very concerned. “I’m assuming Joey, he was the only boy that knew and they would go to parties together but even when Joey knew, he still didn’t know how to find my fucking clit!”—“and this Dolan will?”

that have been flowing through her mind the whole week, will Ethan actually mark his word? or was he just bluffing like the rest? well she was about to get her answers tonight. Collin was gone to his girlfriends, the party was rescheduled to next Friday and she was getting the infamous Dolan Dick that actually knew how to treat a girl. to say the least she wasn’t skeptical, the words that Ethan were saying that was no amateur. she got ready for this incoming event, nice shower and her smell good body washes and scrubs, the most sexiest lingerie she had and tidy up the room a bit with some candles. all this reminded her of what she wanted to lose her virginity with, instead replaced with a 30 second disappointment.

he was an hour late and she was pissed, she called 5 times and 29 texts, no answer. did he fucking bail on her last minute? or was he lying about the things he said he was gonna do? either way she was fucking pisse ans so close from going straight to bed until he knocked, she opened the door and there he was with a huge smirk on his face. “why the fuck are you late?” she spat “didn’t know there was a time I was suppose to be here..?” he shrugged “I fucking told you 10 pm not midnight you ass!” she was speaking a little to high for his liking “angel lower your tone, when you’re talking to me alright.” his voice getting deeper, his dominance coming out each time she disobeyed “oh yeah? what are you gonna do huh? shove your microscopic dick down my throat?” she taunted not knowing what all Ethan could do. “alright that’s it.” he mumbled

he pinned her down to her knees, making her keep her hands behind her back and unblucking his pants, he was hard already so when his cock sprung out hitting his stomach, she gasped a little. he started stuffing this cock down her throat. moaning when her mouth was wrapped anout him, going down her throat. “now angel, you’re we’re supposed to be my good girl tonight, turns out you’re just a brat that get what she wants, not today.” he face fucked her, tears spilling from her eyes, spit and his pre-cum all on her face. he would stop every few thruts giving her moments to breath. ”fuck, angel gonna.”

he came, busted right in her mouth and watched her swallow and she suck her tongue out to prove.

“mm, on the bed ass up, fucking now.” he spat and watched her run towards the room he got naked right there walking into the room slowly jerking his cock. and she obeyed, he git behind her and gave her ass a hard smack “Ethan!” she yelped, not knowing he was gonna do that. “what huh? never been spanked?” he asked and slapped her ass again “no!” he should’ve known, it was Joey were talking about. “oh I forgot, those little boys dont know how to handle you, well get ready baby ‘cause i’m a man.” he chucked. with that, Ethan pushed her face into the mattress and gripped her waist before starting to fuck her hard, placing a rough slap to her ass cheek. he eyed her smaller whole and smirked, he liked his thumb and started rubbing he smaller hole making her moan more against the sheets. she never felt anything more good, his huge cock which rammed into her fucking her in a humane pace, and him toying at her smaller hole sending her into a overdrive.

it didn’t take longer for her stomach to tighten and for her to clench, she haven’t felt this way in a long time, no one has ever given her to pleasure Ethan is giving her. her toes are curled and her are rolled to the back or her head as she scream out his name, feeding his already huge ego knowing he’s guving the girl he jerk off to the biggest orgasm. “im gonna cum, Ethan!” she screams, “right fucking behind you, go now!”

the sex had been quick and rough, both of them had been waiting for a good release far too long. you had cum first before he did, his body slumping over yours as he caught his breath. he began to give you small little kisses against your neck and holding you closely. he brought his your hand to his mouth and kissed it, “girlfriend, hm?”

[ghost-ghost-baby]

Scales pt. 3 //yan!bakusquad fantasy au//

uuugh i hate writing filler You were on bed rest for two days, Katsuki had almost exploded when he saw the damage you’d sustained, Kiri’s patch up job… hadn’t been the best. Katsuki seemed to be the leader, and able to do anything he set his mind to, which included keeping you in the middle bed, piled in with at least two of them at any given time. You’d… learned a lot about them! Mina and Denki had been teaching you more about magic, Hanta had taken over teaching you about healing, and Katsuki and Kiri would just… try to feed you? That god Katsuki was an amazing cook, honestly. 

Denki and Sero were passed out next to you, and you finally saw an opportunity to explore. Soft snores echoed in your ears as you padded over to the weapons, grabbing yourself a dagger to slice through the back of the tent. As long as you had the intent to come back, it shouldn’t alert the bond, or Kiri, that you’d left. The tent backed into a forest, and your eyes lit up when you saw mulberry trees, running into the brush without a second thought. 

Mina was livid when she came back to find you gone, and Denki and Hanta still sleeping soundly.

“Where’s Y/n?” Her voice was harsh enough to have them spluttering awake, panic clear on their faces when they noticed you weren’t anywhere to be seen. 

“Okay, they haven’t gone far, we’d all feel that, I’ll go track them with Hanta, Denki can stay here to tell Katsuki and Kiri Y/n was feeling restless so we took them on a walk, can you handle that?” It was clear how irritated she was, neither man wanted to argue, merely nodding alone and doing exactly as she asked. 

You were having the time of your life! You’d found a stream with plenty of nice rocks to sit on, and you amused yourself drawing on the stone or watching the animals. You felt…. weirdly at peace with everything. There was a slight feeling of unease in the back of your mind, but you easily blocked it out. Maybe you should go for a swim? You did tend to overheat and pass out… you didn’t want to get too hot. Loose shirt and pants placed in a neat pile,you tried not to feel too exposed in your underwear. Nobody was around, you’d hear them. 

“Oh thank god!” A cry startled you, the shock making you lose your footing and fall into the water. It was only cool, thank god, a nice refreshing change from the growing heat outside. You only had a moment to enjoy it before you were being scooped up and pulled back to the surface, your face getting smothered in kisses as voices vied for your attention. 

“Are you guys good?” You spluttered, wiping your eyes and stepping back so you could see which one of them it actually was. Hanta and Mina stared back at you with incredulous eyes, as if you were missing some huge part of something awful. “Well?”

“You just ran off!” 

“We thought something happened!” 

“Or worse, what if you’d tried to run away!” Their voices melted together as they checked you over, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“I was bored is all, and the tent is right there!” A whine made its way into your words, and the pair of them stepped back. You weren’t wrong. 

“Just, tell one of us next time, okay?” Mina flashed you a smile, and a sigh of relief left you. Huh, you hadn’t noticed you’d been stressing. 

“Of course, I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

You ended up convincing them you were well enough to stay in the water, and Hanta yelled for Denki to come out before Mina had finished asking him to. The blonde only took a second, seeming to predict what was happening, and wasted no time doing a cannonball and splashing the three of you. Laughter filled the air as you played around in the water, dunking and splashing each other without a care in the world. Even Katsuki couldn’t be mad when he and Eijiro finally got back, the four of you just looked so happy. 

“Are you sure they’re well enough for this?” The redhead was stripping nonetheless, wading into the water to check you over.

“I feel great Red, promise.” You reached your arms out expectantly, wrapping around Eijiro as soon as he was close enough. 

“What were the two of you doing anyway?” Hanta asked Katsuki, who was somehow already in the water with everyone else. 

“Deku called a meeting, apparently Shigaraki fully lost it and went on a rampage because someone stole his ‘pet’ or something.” His tone was nonchalant but you couldn’t help but flinch, pushing thoughts to the back of your mind even though it made the tattoo itch uncomfortably. 

It’d finally gotten too cold to continue in the water, and Hanta had to carry you back after Eijiro went on about how ‘you’d done enough for today’ and ‘were still meant to be resting’. Anxiety had ruined your good mood, the resulting restlessness was going to drive you crazy. You were safe here, nobody knew anything. And nobody from Shigaraki’s could possibly know you were here of all places. You’d assumed a kind of… panicked calm, but luckily it confused the bond enough that nothing seemed off. It was easier than you thought to trick it, that didn’t mean you liked doing it. 

“Y/n, you okay?” Mina cupped your cheek, effectively bringing you out of your thoughts. 

“Yeah, I’m just kinda tired.” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, Eijiro rushing over as if he’d been listening the whole time. He probably had been. 

“Let’s get you back to bed.” You batted his hands away when he tried to pick you up, you could still walk. “You’re still healing from everything, you know it takes longer after you burn yourself out.” He didn’t persist, settling to boop your nose instead. He was right, you both knew it. It could take twice as long for you to get back to full strength, and you’d… kinda overdone it in the water, so you settled down on his lap once the two of you were back in the bed. 

“Where’d Denki and Katsuki go?” You only just noticed they were missing, you really needed to be more observant. 

“They’re just getting diner ready, don’t worry love.”

 Waking up alone was certainly a change, and panic shot through you as you sat up to look around. Denki and Mina were still there, and a relieved sigh made its way out of you at the sight. 

“Good afternoon sleepy head, what do you feel like doin’ today?” Denki came over when he realised you were awake, carrying a tray laden with food. You picked at the fruit and bread as you thought, an idea coming to you within a couple of minutes.

“Well… there’s a healing spell I’ve always wanted to try… but I couldn’t even attempt it with just me, it should get me back to full strength.” You snuggled up to Denki, doing your best to get him to agree to your idea. 

“Magic? Is that safe?” He cast a look at Mina, who bit her bottom lip as she thought.

“I suppose, if its spread between three people there won't be any noticeable drain on Y/n, I can’t really see a problem with it.” She shrugged, grabbing her bag from the tale. “Get dressed then, I’m assuming there are more ingredients we need to get.” 

“There’s fresh mint over here!” You called, leaning down by the plant to pick a few stems. This forest had everything, it was amazing! You waited for the others to join you, you didn’t really have the desire to go off on your own, it didn’t feel safe. Luckily they were close behind, Denki unable to stop himself jumping on you as soon as you were in range. You didn’t know why he was so affectionate, worse than any of the others, but it’d grown on you. 

“Okay, the only thing we need now is some mugwort, but there’s heaps of that around here.” Mina folded up the list you’d given her, gently placing it in a pocket of her bag. 

“You guys really are the best!” You cooed, practically glowing as you hugged the two of them. A twig snapping had Mina and Denki on red alert, making sure you were between them as they looked around. You spotted the pair first, familiar figures that made your heart sink into your gut. 

“There you are Y/n! We’ve been looking all over this forest for you!” Toga clapped her hands together as she spoke, a blush already covering her cheeks.

“Yeah, you didn’t make it easy.” Dabi was less enthusiastic, he just wanted to get the whole thing over with. “Shigaraki threw his biggest tantrum yet after your little stunt, you’re lucky you weren’t there.” Energy flowed into your hands on instinct, crackling and glowing, ready to fry anyone who made a wrong move. Thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to figure out what was happening and how you could stop them. If they said too much it’d be over for you, nobody could want you after that. 

“I don't know who you are, but Y/n isn’t going anywhere with you.” Mina’s voice was downright terrifying, you almost flinched at the ice saturating it. Denki slid his arm around you waist, and when you looked down to his free hand you saw electricity crackling around his fingers. The air was so tense you couldn’t breathe, waiting for someone to just say something. 

“Look, we’ve had a rough journey, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” Dabi was smirking as he spoke, bright blue eyes fixed on your form. You hated how cocky the bastard was, something wasn’t right. You turned too late, Denki’s eyes wide as his fingers reached up to brush the dart jutting out of his shoulder and your heart stopped. 

“Mina-!” 

“I know.” She was already firing something at the pair, and you caught Denki just as he crumbled to the ground. Somehow you dragged him to a tree, leaning him up against it and making sure he was just unconscious before you went to help Mina. 

Toga dodged the blast you sent her way, lunging at you and almost knocking you off your feet as you ducked out of the way. You were still weaker than usual and it was sickeningly obvious, you could only hope they didn’t know you well enough to pick up on it. She wasn’t giving you a moment to rest, repeatedly attacking you until you were backed up against Denki and the tree. A shield flared up around you, giving you the chance to see how Mina was doing. It wasn’t going well, none of you were prepared to fight, and she was already bleeding from multiple wounds. She needed to get out of here, but she’d never leave the two of you, you didn’t have enough energy to teleport more than one person. She knew where the others were, she could warn them, right? And you could take care of Denki from the inside, they’d never been good at locking you up. Light flared around Mina’s form and her horrified eyes met yours, the colour draining from her face as she realised what you were doing. 

“Y/n, no-!” Her voice was cut out before she could finish the sentence, her body disappearing in a flash moments later. Your shoulders slumped, the rest of your body following until you were crumpled on top of Denki, and boots coming towards you were the last thing you saw before your eyes closed.

taglist under the cut lmao i rlly hope i got it right

@wolfygecko@baby-snart@frostfox328@ssnaketongue@that-one-piece-oftrash@emilysimaginesblog@generousdigitalartartghost@slowly-gently@toffee1812@izzys-complete-insanity@sexisquid@icecreamguru03@tessamarie22@peculiar-faerie@lunaralpha270@max7500@graduatedmelon@everstrange1@saltytocrusade@dark-side-blog2@tinyspacesaurus@shimyshimyagustd@teacaku@shinethesensational@yooalicee@radnickeltoadbat@superrllama@trinshappyplaces@kai-iaa@mini-kunoichi-universe@estellegladiolus@kirapholia@lemonmaim@skylerstorm2@phantomfunguschild@naked-canadians@meaper112@cute-cotton-tail@xxnatashahicksxx

[trulisthetic]

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P 

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point. 

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved.  So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes. 

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

[smolbeandrabbles]

Mine - Killian x Reader (Spies In Disguise)

Well. Here is your introduction to this babe-!

GIF Credit: X

Mine / Blank Space / Feel Somethin’ / Glitter Makes People Happy / Fresh Start Fever /  The Scientist

Author’s Note: Sooooo... I’m using Tristan/Killian interchangeably throughout the series, as I wrote the majority of this part before I watched the movie and really had many more thoughts on him, for now he’s referred to simply as Killian. I have waaaaay too many plot points to work through with this man. So, here we are!

Part 1 of a 5 part movie prequel series. So, there’s quite a lot of set up. As usual, bear with me! Note: Just because I sometimes like talking about my OCs/Readers - this reader was originally created in 2014 - I’ve already used most of her aesthetics elsewhere but... it’s nice to get to use the parts of her I scrapped here. The joys of Killian being cybernetic, I guess!

Disclaimer: I own no characters or plot lines from Spies in Disguise / Lyrics not mine. / Some of this is Ben Mendelsohn in promo interviews’ fault...!

Premise: After a particularly rough interrogation encounter, Killian takes you to safety in order to recuperate... 

Words: 3282

Warnings: N/A. There aren’t any spoilers for Spies... in here, but to be on the safe side, proceed with caution!

_______

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch The moment, I can see it, Yes, yes, I can see it now Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe, for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

You said, "I'll never leave you alone" You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water. And every time I look at you, it's like the first time. I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

---

* System Failure * -> Reboot Required --> Recalibration in progress ---> Reboot whole system? -----> Full system reset in operation -> Standby... 5...4...3...2... Rebooting.

 You opened your eyes slowly, everything hurt. But it was a strange pain that seemed to dull with every second of regained consciousness. Everything was too bright and you grumbled to yourself and shielded your eyes - burying your head into whatever you were lying on. But with your body complaining at you, it was impossible to lie here and fall back to sleep - and even more impossible for a slight feeling of unease to not creep over you.

You hadn't fallen asleep here. In fact you couldn't even remember falling asleep... And the scratchiness of whatever you covered you wasn't sheets. Your eyes opened again and you realised from the polished grey flooring you weren't in a bedroom either. You sat up - grasping immediately for the jacket falling from your shoulders - to keep that warmth around you.

You slipped off the plush couch, drawing it around you, stretching your legs out. they still complained at you, but you were all but ignoring them now.  The simple black dress you were wearing came to barely above your knees - had you even been wearing that? - why was your memory so fuzzy? You took a deep breath - and that helped nothing. Your heart suddenly leaping out of your chest at something so familiar to you; the scent of his cologne. You would have scanned the room for a clue of some kind - shoes? Heels maybe? This was a suit jacket after all...  Dinner? That's what the attire said. But it wasn't what the scenery said. You kept walking towards the bright white reflecting through the window.

 You found yourself staring at a seemingly endless mountain range - pure white snow covered nearly everything. The window seemed to also stretch for infinity, even in its many panels - curved around this side of the house. You stared hard at the breath-taking view for a minute. How gorgeous the blue of the sky was today… You pulled that jacket around you tighter still, looking to the stone below you carved smooth in order to build this base up here. The helicopter stationed on its pad let you know he was probably still home. But as you drew your gaze up, along with your smile, you noticed something else. And had to drop your grasp on the jacket - it lay itself over your shoulders, as if it was just as unwilling to let go of you - and you gasped, examining your wrists. They were faint, but both of them held ligature marks. You stretched them out in front of you. That looked bad - that looked very bad... You rubbed them, as if hoping that would also bring the memory back - but nothing. Holding them close to your chest you bit your lip, hard, and looked out to the mountains again. There was nothing you loved more than being here. But this time was different. And it was the first time you'd ever been fearful.

 The footsteps echoed down the hallway, but you didn't turn until you heard them descend the steps into the living area. Step, step, step. Now you knew there should have been two more - so the pause made you turn. Killian was leaning against the wall, looking you over curiously. He was wearing your favourite deep blue shirt, and the jacket to go with his suit was clearly still around your shoulders. "You're awake. I thought it would take more out of you than that. I'm surprised..." You turned away from the window fully then, "...I can't..." "Remember anything?" He stepped forward, two steps and then across the room in slow strides. Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew you should be scared of this man. That it was something you'd been told often... Or... At least recently; it was just about reachable in your memory. But you weren't. And you knew that you never had been by the smile you felt developing on your face. "I'm sorry..." His voice was soft, "I'm working on that... It's not as easy as I wish it were." "What happened?" "Lance Sterling happened, as ever. It took me about 4 days to locate you - I'm sorry. You kinda got yourself out..." He indicated to your wrists. "But it took a lot out of you, so I brought you back here to recuperate." "Killian..." You breathed, remembering the name, and looked back to the window, "...I'm sorry." You knew it was probably a lot of trouble and time he didn’t have to even pick you up – and if they had found a way to track you, this sanctuary was no longer safe. "Woah..." His footfall now put him directly in front of you - and his fingers touching your skin shocked you, making you step away from him with wide eyes. Killian dropped his hands; "I'm sorry... That's an effect of your recalibration." He tilted his head frowning; “…But you don’t need to be.” Sorry; he meant. Somehow you knew the right thing to do was say "What have you done to me this time?" "I told you - I'm not messing with your tech. But sometimes you're reckless and you drain your human body. Just because your legs can carry you forever doesn't mean they should." You couldn't really remember him telling you that, but you took his hand back in yours - senses running on overdrive, you could feel every ridge in his fingertips; "All you need is rest, Y/N... And you'll be fine. I was just coming to check on you... It'll be the chip..." He indicated to the couch again, "Please sit."

 You inexplicably trusted this man - and you did as he asked with no questions. Killian held out his hand and you knew to put your right in his. Watching him press down for a number of seconds something mechanical clicked, and your right arm lit in sparodic places before a tiny compartment opened up. But something in your head was still telling you this was routine.  He had a small device with him, and he plugged it into the compartment. Immediately it beeped. Brain too fuzzy to decipher the numbers you were squinting at; it didn’t take him nearly so long to sigh deeply and chide you; "Your heart rate is elevated... You don't need to be afraid of this..." "I know." But did you? Killian nudged you as further data flashed up; "No you don't... You're running on your chips; your brain is still dormant. And I told you I wasn't going to run you like this." He shook his head, muttering “I knew those idiots would never listen. The tech is too smart for its own good… And they’re too stupid to calibrate it properly.” You thought that was a little ironic considering Killian had just confessed he’d probably done the calibration wrong himself, but thought better to hold your tongue. Besides, all he did was leave you confused; "Meaning what?" He turned his blue eyes back on you, unsure if he should go on. But gave it to you in its simplest terms; "You're sleep walking." "What?" How was that possible? You were conscious, right? Sleep walkers usually had no idea what was going on. You might not remember anything prior to this, but you were aware this was really happening right now. "You won't remember this when you wake up... But you'll remember everything else." So why should he bother explaining it in technical terms you would actually understand, when Killian knew he would just have to do so again later. "Sleep walking?" "I'm talking to a computer. That's creepy isn't it? I told you - They should never have performed the operation..." "But you're glad they did. Or I wouldn't be here. And then where would you be?" That also felt like something you were supposed to say – that he had told you enough times. "Hush..." Killian brushed his hands over your exposed legs, and you gasped, "You feel this?" "Yes." And this time you were aware of your elevated heart beat, and the heat of his palms on your thighs – test or not. "Then your body will be fine. And when you actually wake up, we're talking about that chip. I'm for taking it out of you. For now, you're going back to bed." You looked to the little device again, more than a little scared. What would he do? Force a system shut down?

"Y/N..." You looked back into his eyes, "Whatever your warning system is telling you, you're going to fall asleep naturally. Don't start thinking I'm using this. You're safe." He unplugged it very carefully, every movement slow so you could track it, before he stood - "But you can follow me..." You did as Killian asked, and walked with him up the corridor. But it wasn’t long before he tapped one of the many doors. "Bed. Rest. Now." Then he walked to places unknown. Your eyes followed him for a little while until he was out of sight, and your heart seemed to sink – you missed him already – before you opened the door and found yourself in a bedroom. Again, something about this was so familiar. And you instantly felt tired. You knew the bed was a soft, warm, safe space and smiled. That man was right.

 **

 When you woke again, you wished you hadn't. And everything hurt. For real this time. Sometimes being cybernetic wasn't all it was cracked up to be - and that was the last time you tried to snap handcuffs in an interrogation room to escape.  Killian was who they really wanted, of course, but you were (on occasion) his assistant, and the H.T.U.V would take what they could get... And… well, you were also a lot more than that. So they probably had surveillance footage of the two of you together in many places. You were never trying to actively hide, an easier target than the man you were with. You sat up, head throbbing. And the next thing you heard was a series of beeps. You turned around; "Oh god. Can't you give me 5 minutes?" Your shiny blue metallic assistant drone, KiTT, whined at you sarcastically again. And you wanted to kick it. "Yeah, I'm aware... Where's Killian?" More beeps "Oh. Figures..." He’d probably sent your drone up to check on you; sometimes that proved less helpful than he wanted. You stood and almost immediately stumbled, having to rebalance yourself; "...Sometimes I really hate my parents..." This hadn't been your decision after all. Everything from your waist down - and a major portion of your arms were now cybernetic. To look at you, you were a regular human, but there was nothing regular about what was underneath your skin (synthetic or otherwise). It had been caused by a lab explosion that should have taken your life, more than ten years prior.  This tech would save it, for a price your parents would pay. And here you were. You took your steps slowly up the corridor as the two parts of your body readjusted themselves to Killian's new calibration. You already didn't like it.  And he would, as always, love your complaining. Meeting a man with as much of a knack for robotics as you wasn't coincidence. But he was something else entirely – he was almost too smart to be just the person he was. Sometimes you wondered why he wasn’t a little more legitimate, or why he wasn’t just a scientist himself. You suppose it ran further back than he was prepared to admit to you. And everything was always so shady when he was out here and you were calling him by a different name… He financed things less than legal, and you were pretty sure he made all his money the same way. Still, it always came back to technology and it was where both of you were most at home. When you reached the labs, all was strangely quiet.  KiTT continued to follow you, a nice dull hum that you had grown used to over the years, and were oddly lost without no matter how damn annoying it could be. You didn’t like the thought of Killian down here alone and left to his own devices, but you supposed this was only for your sake. He would rather be out there with his various factions – doing whatever it was they all did on a daily basis. You already knew none of it was good. When Killian dropped you back in civilisation he’d go off and get Lance and co chasing him around again – and you’d go back to the innovation lab you worked at, until he needed you or you saw him again – sometimes just by happenstance. And that’s how life was. You paused every so often at various research stations and abandoned work benches. Killian clearly hadn’t been alone long, and whatever he was working on seemed huge. Nightly news reels were calling, you could feel that.

 You eventually found him, sitting staring at research. By now your assistant had flown over to another part of the lab, to continue the work Killian had put him on before sending him to check on you. “What have you got KiTT doing for you?” “Nothing you wouldn’t have him do...” You glanced suspiciously from your other half over to KiTT, welding pieces together “He’s not YOUR assistance drone.” Killian kept his blue eyes on his monitor for a moment, “You’re the one who won’t tell me who built him.” “I built him!” You took immediate offence to that, and folded your arms. “Yeah But you said it yourself, he was a kit.” Which Killian always assumed was where his name came from “I modified him a little...” You continued to watch, concerned as KiTT carefully drew out and inserted vials of vibrant liquid into whatever he was building. Killian sighed, knowing that look well “If you don’t want me to use him, I’ll stop. But then either you have to get more involved - and you want to be the neutral one - or I need the name.” “I get worried he’s gonna get hurt!” That was a No, then. “I sent him to look after you.” “So you didn’t have to deal with the sarcasm any longer?” Killian gave a shrug, that accompanied his smile, hitting a few keystrokes - “He doesn’t sass me.” “Yeah I bet-! Too scared!” “Am I scary?” Right now no. But he damn well could be – you’d seen the outcomes of this line of work. “Intimidating. Up there at the lofty heights of... 6...?” “Classified!” You scoffed “As if your height is classified.” “Definitely is.” You squinted at his monitor, now more interested in whether that would tell you what your drone was doing; "What are we stealing today?" He chuckled; "No. I'm just researching." "Yeah, what to steal next." You leant against his desk, eying him; "Do you ever stop?" "Do you?" He turned to you slowly, fixing you with blue eyes that could easily see right through you. Sometimes he made you feel guilty even when you had nothing to hide. You held your hand’s up defensively, knowing he was immediately talking about the interrogation; "I didn't say anything!" "No. I know that." "Going through my memory bank now-!?" Your eyes narrowed in suspicion. If Killian had access to the chip, he could do whatever he wished. "I would never do something like that. I just know you. How are you feeling?" At least you knew him well enough to know that was true, and you appreciated his concern. "...I... Guess I've felt better..." "Well. Yeah, your calibration went wrong - my mistake." "Sorry!?" Killian wasn’t usually one for making mistakes, let alone admitting to them when he did. "I need to take that chip out of the base of your brain, I think." You scoffed, "And kill me? That's the reason all this works!" You presented yourself to him. "I know..." He held his hand out for yours, attention now all on you, voice low, "But I don't like what it's doing to you. I can make a better one." "Ehhh... Should I trust you?" You allowed Killian to pull you to him, and wound your arms around his shoulders. It was really a rhetorical question, if he wasn’t tuning up your robotics you were doing it yourself. "If it's the only thing you do." "Complex operation?" Though you knew the answer before he gave it. "Majorly." He gave a shrug; "I just want that thing out." His fingertips ran up your back, halting at the top of your neck; if he pressed down hard enough he could feel the offending object under your skin. You knew Killian wouldn’t say something like that without reason – you doubted even this man would risk your life, you traced your hand up to meet his, fingers lacing together; "...What happened?" "Well, it can wake you up without you being conscious - that's the stuff of nightmares. And that knowledge alone should be enough to convince you!" You opened your mouth; "Do...I want-" "No." He pulled you onto his lap and tucked your hair back, "I'm going to need to repress it. Your entire system rebooted and took you with it. Not good - probably my fault. But it's not doing it again..." He indicated to his other screen, upon which displayed a schematic of your robotic and synthetic material - "I'm going to put in a fail safe." Killian always explained everything he did to you in great detail, and only tuned you up if you agreed to it.

You narrowed your eyes, sitting back against his chest; "I thought you took the last one off…?" "Yeah... I did. Because that one was holding you back. Whoever made this for you decided to give it one basic function." Killian also only messed with anything if it was going to perform better than what was already there. "Which is?" "To function." You could have finished that for him. They taught you how to use it. The basics. But let me show you how to employ it. The potential of what you have should be realised, Y/N! You weren't sure it wasn't for his own ends. But one thing was for sure, until he showed otherwise, you'd trust Killian and his judgements. "Do it." You weren’t even sure you wanted to hear the what or why – you trusted him implicitly, whatever he would do for you would be for the best. You almost slipped from his grip; thinking the conversation was over – before he pulled you back, hands taking yours; "Hold on. I have to test it all first, I'm not just putting that chip in you..." You turned back to him, "Oh! And here you had me all excited!" “It’ll be finished in a few days. I don’t want to put you through a complete system overhaul twice in one week.” You folded your arms with a smirk; “This is just a ploy to keep me here all to yourself, Killian, isn’t it?” He rolled his eyes, question left unanswered, "Now hush for a minute and tell me which diamond you like best?" You made yourself more comfortable in his arms and studied the screen; "So you are stealing diamonds." "Yes. We're stealing diamonds..." He kissed your hair gently, making you absentmindedly smile and nestle further into him; "Now pick one!"

---

Hit me up - he’s not going anywhere! This is only fic 1/? (All Five parts of this are also started. FYI 😊😉)

Note 2: I had a plot point to do with the drones that I kinda had to kill due to the movie... - but I wanted her to have one as an assistant, so. Here’s KiTT. I’m keeping him.

Who do I even tag?! Are we all interested in animated bois voiced by Ben Mendelsohn fics?  @xxstar-bluesxx​ - Thank you for your patience! 💜💙😊 @3134045126​ - my girl 😉 Just you wait-!

@dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be ch.1 (baon)

Summary: Edge and Stretch are finally getting back on an even keel. Edge's broken leg is healing well, Spring is finally here and the flowers are close to blooming.

Be a shame if anything disturbed their domestic bliss.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Fluff, Chickens

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Stretch had always liked taking a walk on the science side. Even when he was a kid, he’d loved it, digging soggy books out of the dump that no one else wanted about exotic things like physics. Yeah, sure, he’d taken a detour for a little while in his life, spent some time as a sentry in Snowdin, but here in the Aboveground, he’d gotten back into it, reluctantly at first and then with the same enthusiasm he’d had in his striped shirt days. He loved science and experiments, coming up with theories and either proving them or setting them in the ‘learning experience’ pile.

Confirming a hypothesis, that was what he did, but even he had to admit, this was one he could've lived without. But hey, now he had empirical evidence to explain why he was never double-dog-dare ever taking Edge on the bus again.

It hadn't even been his idea. Everyone with a driver’s license was busy today so there was no one to cadge a ride from. Didn’t help that Edge wasn’t exactly great on the passenger side anyway, he took backseat driving to new and historic levels. Even Andy started getting a weird tic in his cheek the last time he gave them a lift and in the interest of not giving his best bud a stroke, when Edge suggested they take the bus to his doc’s appointment, Stretch went along with it.

Yeeeah. He’d made worse choices in his life, but this was hovering right at entering the top ten.

To begin with, it seemed like that when he made the suggestion, Edge didn’t fully realize it would require sitting on a grubby seat inhabited daily by dozens of other butts, something Stretch’s personal neat freak was not keen on exposing to his own pelvis.

But there was no way he could stand with the cast holding his leg together, that was kinda the reason they weren’t taking Edge’s car. Probably the only thing that could make the seats actually tolerable for Edge was a good power washing, but Stretch did the best he could with the baggie of antiseptic wipes he’d stashed in his backpack. That at least got Edge's nonexistent butt in the chair, even if he sat so close to the (heh) edge that one hairpin turn was gonna send him rolling across the floor.

If the universe were kinder, that probably would have been the worst of it. Stretch sat right next to his baby and held his hand for moral support, the bus route took them right past the hospital so there wasn't even a changeover. All they needed to do was sit quietly and get off at their stop. Stretch did it all the time, all by his lonesome. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Only, fate seemed to be in the mood for a different kind of citrus, choosing the path of difficult difficult lemon bullshit because they’d only been sitting for about five minutes when an older Human lady got on. She shuffled on over to sit right next to Edge even though there were a dozen other seats available on the bus and before the bus even pulled away, she’d started talking to him. And talked. And never actually stopped talking.

Blue once told Stretch, fondly and with only a sprinkle of salt, that when Stretch got going, he talked like he was trying to qualify for the chatter Olympics. This lady not only qualified, she’d swept away the competition and gone home with the gold.

To be fair, it was miles better than her screaming and tossing a shoe at their heads, sure, but Edge usually took a while to warm up to people as it was, especially to Humans. Considering that some Humans took one look at Edge coming their way and crossed the street? That kind didn't look at him as a person with feelings who could see them, thanks, even if Edge would never admit how much that fucking hurt, and sorry, did he say Humans? He meant assholes. Assholes saw Edge as a threat before they ever even met him.

Betty White over there wasn't at all put off by the sharp teeth and the crimson eye lights. She'd found a captive audience and watching his baby struggling to be polite while she chatted about her newest grandbaby, complete with actual photos scrounged out of her handbag, was setting off the cringe meter, big time.

About ten endless minutes in she’d shown no sign of losing steam. Stretch did make an attempt to help. His thinking was that if he moved to sit on Grandma Moses's other side, maybe she'd chat with him instead. He was pretty good at oohing and ahhing over pics of the potato babies. But the second he tried to stand, Edge's hold on his hand tightened like an iron claw, hard enough for him to feel the pinch of his sharpened fingertips even through gloves. Whether he was afraid Stretch was going to abandon him to his fate or didn't like the idea of him sitting next to unknown Humans, Stretch wasn't sure, but he wasn’t gonna argue with The Claw.

He sat back down and leaned against Edge instead, like maybe he could osmosis some soothing vibes his way. Never worked before, but hey, it was worth a shot.

Whistler’s Mom paused. “are you two boys…together?”

“Yes,” Edge said shortly. Stretch struggled not to wince as the grip on his hand dug in. The last thing he wanted was another bus fiasco. For starters, Andy wasn’t here this time to play white knight and he seriously doubted the Embassy would appreciate dealing with an all new public relations nightmare involving Edge getting into a street fight with an octogenarian.

So, Stretch put on his very best hundred-watt smile and leaned around his husband to shine it towards the old lady. “yes, ma’am, we’re married.”

He expected maybe a little outrage; he and Edge pretty obviously identified as male and Humans could be, ah, tetchy about that. Enough offense and maybe she’d go move to sit up at the front of the bus. But Queen Elizabeth over there just beamed happily, clasping her hands to her chest. “Isn’t that nice! You two make a lovely couple, aren’t your rings beautiful! Have you been together long? Ah, you’re newlyweds, aren’t you, I can tell!”

Next to him, the tension was slowly draining out of Edge, his kung fu grip loosening. Stretch lowered the wattage on his smile to merely friendly levels and asked, “how’s that, ma’am?”

She gave them a watery-eyed wink, “To begin with, you’re still holding hands.”

That was about all it took to tenderize Edge’s steak. He still didn’t chat, but he didn’t look like he was about to throw himself out of a window at any given moment, piece by piece if necessary, and that was a hell of an improvement.

By the time they’d gotten off the bus, Beatrice had shared a recipe for strudel that Edge promised to try and Stretch somehow ended up wearing a new knitted hat topped with a bright pink pompom, because in the words of the immortal Beatrice, he was too skinny and he might catch cold in the bright spring weather. He had a feeling if she could’ve smuggled him home in her handbag, he’d be holed up right now in a cozy kitchen mainlining soup made with fresh noodles and no amount of protesting that skeletons kinda couldn’t get fattened up would save him.

“see, babe,” Stretch teased, handing over his crutches once Edge made it down the stairs back to earth. He waited until the bus was out of sight, taking Beatrice with it, before taking off the hat and adding it to his backpack stash. “take the bus a few more times and pretty soon you’ll have as many friends as i do.”

“I’d rather strip naked and run a marathon through a pack of hungry dogs,” Edge told him feelingly.

Yeah, okay, that one made Stretch burst out into unexpected laughter. He was still chuckling as they headed into the doctor’s office. “i swear, babe, no one ever believes me when i tell them you’re hilarious.”

“That wasn’t humor,” Edge said dryly as he crutched along, “that was a promise.”

The appointment itself was the usual doctor bullshit, starting with an endless fifteen-minute wait before the doc even came in the room, long enough for Stretch to inspect every drawer and jar in the room before Edge told him to sit down. Which, yeah, okay, it was his appointment and fidgeting around the room probably wasn’t doing much for any anxiety Edge had.

Not that he looked like he had much and Stretch honestly envied Edge’s ability to seem coolly serene in any given situation. It was less appealing that the skill made it impossible for Stretch to know if he was genuinely relaxed or hiding it from the world, but eh, that much he was used to. He could read his baby like a well-loved book, but damn if the cover wasn’t inscrutable some days.

By the time the doc came in, Stretch was ready to vibrate out of his damn shoes, but he kept his trap shut and let the doctor do his job. Highly trained professionals, he’d told Edge, who knew what they were doing, and Stretch could do healing magic but that was his limit. The fine tuning was up to the guys with the stethoscopes.

So he played on his phone, messed around on twitter, kept one suspicious auditory canal tuned in to make sure that the doc didn’t have any strong opinions on how Edge was healing up. In less time than they’d spent waiting, the cast was removed, cut right through the drawing of Undyne flexing, and the doc was checking the bones out, making positive little sounds as he poked and prodded.

That got his reluctant curiosity going and left him torn between getting a look at what he hadn’t yet seen or waiting a little longer for the scars to fade.

He hadn’t chosen a side by the time Edge decided for him, “It’s fine, love, have a look if you want.”

The doc obligingly stepped back and let him take a peek at what the cast was hiding. Even if the freshly healed breaks weren’t still chalky-rough, he would have been able to pick them out of a line up. He knew every scar on Edge’s bones, knew how they felt beneath his fingers, knew which ones were sensitive and which had little feeling to them at all.

Edge was right, they weren’t bad, all things considered. Tori must’ve poured on the healing because the scars weren’t much more than hairline fractures. A lot of hairline fractures, too many, and Stretch blinked hard, turning away to flump back into his chair. Way too many fucking scars, his leg must’ve been…it must’ve…

He probably wasn’t hiding his upset very well, his poker face wasn’t up to standards these days, because the doctor said, gently, “He’s healing very well. A few more weeks and he should be able to resume his normal routine.”

They both seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer from him, so Stretch slumped back into his chair and muttered, “that’s good.”

He pulled out his lighter, flicking it absently through his fingers, listening to the rhythmic clicking of metal against bone as the doc stepped up again.

Pretty quickly Edge was Velcro-ed into a sort of boot that went up to his knee and sternly told not to stand more than two hours at a time, ice it at night, yadda yadda, it was all on the instruction sheet. He went from crutches to a cane and they’d be sending him one of those knee scooters for when he went back to the Embassy. That was a photo opportunity waiting to happen.

The ride home was a lot less eventful. The only other person on the bus for most of the trip was a Human that Stretch only knew in passing and they were eating a sandwich so aggressively that Stretch was afraid to get too close, lest he get sucked into the chomping vacuum.

Edge didn’t talk and Stretch kept busy on his phone, ignoring the quiet of the bus around them. Stretch usually wore headphones when he rode the bus, he had about fifty different podcasts he listened to and Cabinet of Curiosities just released a new one today. He didn’t feel like listening right now though and if anyone told him an hour ago he’d be missing Beatrice’s chatter, he’d have told them to retune their Ouija board.

The only real transfer was from the bus proper to the New New Home shuttle and they were the only Monsters on it except for the driver.

“hey, angela, you know why you’re the best driver?” Stretch asked cheerfully when they got to the stop. He didn’t wait for her to answer. “it’s ‘cause you’re so good at telling people where to get off!”

Angela rolled her eye, “Sans told me that one last week.”

“of course he would,” Stretch sighed, “sans is never short for time when it comes to a joke.” That one got him a chuckle from Angela and a sigh from Edge as she shooed them out the doors. Before he could take so much as a step towards home, Edge had him by the arm, tugging him over to sit on the nearby bench.

“wha…you okay?” Stretch blurted. The anxiety that was slowly easing ramped it back up to high. As far as he saw, Edge was walking pretty well with his new gear, but maybe— “is it hurting, do you need to rest a minute? i can call the doc, hang on…”

Edge gently stopped him from scrambling for his phone, shaking his head. “I’m fine, love. I’m more concerned about whether you’re okay.”

It would’ve been easy to tell him yep, sure, 100%, doing great. Dig up another 100-watt smile out of his reserves in a lie that Edge wouldn’t believe. Instead, he slumped, leaning against Edge’s side and letting his skull drop on his shoulder. “can’t fool you, huh.”

“I don’t want you to fool me,” Edge told him. He reached up, his gloved fingers gentle against Stretch’s cheek bone, his jaw line. “I want to know when you’re upset. Even if I can’t really help, I at least want to know.”

Stretch sighed heavily. “i’m okay. no, really,” he insisted when Edge made a skeptical sound. “i’m just…i don’t like to see you hurt.”

Edge shifted and there was the light touch of a kiss being pressed to his skull. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t really like being hurt. I’ve been injured in the past, you know that, but this is my first experience at being off my feet for so long and I hate it,” Edge said, frankly. “I don’t like not being able to go through my normal routine, whether it’s my work at the Embassy or simply baking bread, I don’t like being—” he hesitated, then, softer, “vulnerable. I don’t like feeling as if I can’t keep you safe.”

The last was said at a mere whisper, a confession Stretch hadn’t expected, and he sat up, wrapping both arms around Edge and held him tight. They sat like that for a while, arms around each other with spring sunshine pouring down over them and Stretch loved him, so, so damn much.

He could hear someone walking up the street, probably heading to wait for the shuttle, and Stretch reluctantly drew back, pausing to press a light kiss against Edge’s cheek bone. “welp, you’re a couple steps further along in getting back on your feet, anyway. what’re you gonna do first?”

He was kinda expecting a shower. Edge never complained but it was hard not to notice that he didn’t enjoy wrapping up in plastic like last night’s leftovers. But Edge was packed with the unexpected today so Stretch was a little surprised when he said, “I’d like to work on my garden. Spring planting isn’t for a little while yet, but my perennials will be coming up and I need to clean out the winter detritus.”

Yeah, okay, that sort of made sense. May as well get as dirty as possible before hitting the suds. They made their way back to the house, a little slower than Stretch’s preferred pace but not by much. Stretch went in the house and aside from Edge taking him on a quick field trip outside for an informational lecture on the different flowers that were already starting to spring out of the ground, he left his honey to get to the gardening. And if he was keeping an eye on the clock to make sure Edge didn’t go over the two-hour mark, eh, Edge said from the start he was going to follow the doctor’s orders. Stretch was only helping him keep a promise.

It was closing in on an hour-fifty when the unexpected knock came from the front door. That had Stretch curious; Edge was in the front yard, any visitors would be bypassing him, so who would be coming specifically to see Stretch?

Welp. There was only one way to find out.

Read Chapter Two

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Having a whale of a great time!

Scuba diving in the Crystal Blue Lagoon? Check. Collecting pearl oysters and whatever else lies at Sea Glass Shores. Check.  Crafting a bunch of cool floaties and braving the Shimmering Whirlpool? Check and check. Riding whales towards the sunset? Check!

Vacationing at the Sparkle Islands has been exactly what I needed! It's nice meeting up with Lenie again as well as Nico and Dewey. The Fairweathers have been taking a break from recording and performing so they've been focusing on adventuring and solo endeavors.

I can't believe that Lenie's a college senior now - where did the time go? Jimmy's busy with family stuff so that's why he's not with us. It feels like forever since I last saw him - but that's what video chats are for! Also, his kids are adorable and I'm glad to finally meet them as well as his husband. Nico's been globe trotting as usual, full of fun and exciting stories to tell us. Dewey's been taking it easy, trying to create a better work-life balance after taking on too much last year.

So far their break has been going really well. With everything going on in their personal lives, they could really take some time off. Artist's block sucks but sometimes there's nothing you can really do about it other than wait it out and focus on other things. Creativity can be finicky, especially when you've got other things on your mind like responsibilities, burnout, or a busy schedule.

I've been in a bit of a creative slump as well. From running events at the camp to personal life stuff getting in the way, I've been feeling off this past week. Like I can't relax because I have a million things running in my mind. If I'm expecting a call or email I find myself unable to focus on anything else because I'm too busy mentally preparing for having to do something that makes me nervous and often drained at the end.

Fortunately, I managed to get pretty much all the boring and stressful adulting stuff out of the way. But after spending most of last week being on edge, it's hard to fall back into my normal rhythm. I've been kinda on autopilot, just trying to get through the day. Up until a couple days ago I've been feeling pretty meh most of the time.

Usually, to de-stress, I turn to art. Doodling, journaling, knitting - whatever creative medium I'm in the mood for. But when you're in an art block, it causes more stress. As someone who's been journaling for years, there will be times when you've hardly touched your notebook in days, weeks, and even months. I have to say, though, since running the camp I've been journaling in a somewhat regular basis - especially when I started incorporating art journaling into it - but I still have times when I'm just not feeling it.

Sometimes getting your feelings out on paper doesn't help, especially when you don't have the words to explain exactly how you feel without it sounding forced or an incomprehensible mess of words. There are times when I want to write about something but the words just don't come out right, so I end up scrapping the whole thing. And of course, there are times when I want to write about something that's been on my mind, only to end up rambling about something else and going off on that tangent.

Then there are times when your mind is so fogged up that you come up completely empty. Up until today, I've been head full of fog, thoughts completely empty. Still kinda feels like that, to be completely honest, but the fog's slowly clearing up. I think the whale ride really helped with that.

As someone who believes a change of scenery and a good distraction helps when life takes a lot of out you, I find that I have a hard time following my own advice. I'm all about taking time to forget your troubles and worries for a bit, but yet I'm having difficulty doing so. I don't know why, but I always find it difficult to completely let loose - like I let myself have fun but at the same time my worries are always there in the back of my mind. It's like I'm subconsciously telling myself to have fun, but not too much fun. As much as I want to let go, there's a part of me that holds on, making me afraid to let myself fall freely.

What's the point in telling people to escape their troubles for a bit when I can't even do that without feeling like I'm doing something wrong? It's not that I don't know how to have fun - though it's taken a lot longer for me to catch on than most people - but sometimes it feels forced. I don't know, it's always something I've struggled with - at least compared to most of my peers growing up. Maybe part of it comes from being a convenient person - one who doesn't ask for much, someone who doesn't go out of their way to bring attention to themselves - the kind of person who tags along and is just there.

It's kinda like I don't know exactly how to have fun. Sort of like I'm second guessing myself by wondering, "Is this what having fun feels like? Am I doing it right? Is this enough?" and of course, that totally defeats the purpose of escaping and letting go.

I have to say, being at the camp as helped a lot in terms of teaching me how to live in the moment and enjoy the good times to the fullest. It's still a bit of a new concept for me, but at least I'm coming out of my shell - and that's what counts. Maybe I'll never be as carefree as some people - I've been told that I'm kinda low-key and serious by nature - and I'm okay with that. Sometimes I wish that I could be a bit more vocal and expressive and active, but most of the time I'm happy with being an observer and doing my own thing in the background.

It was Chai and Rhonda's idea to visit the Sparkle Islands. It was on the list for a while but for the past year the islands were undergoing a lot of reconstruction so a lot of places were closed. Leyla, who's one of the princesses of the islands, was behind a lot of the restoration and repair of various sites.

Turns out that I just missed her when we visited Maron Heights to watch our friends perform in After Hours at the Opera. Because she was so busy getting the islands back in shape, she dropped by to see the show the night before we came and went back home the next morning.

Like with Kat, Hawk, AJ, and Elara, Leyla's been going through a bunch of changes as well now that things are settling down. Aside from rebuilding the islands, Leyla's getting reacquainted with her mom Archer, who disappeared about twenty years ago in a disaster that left part of the main island in shambles for years. Having her back is still a huge adjustment for Leyla and her momma Rosie as she missed out on a lot. Leyla and Kat are pretty much on the same page when it comes to reuniting with a parent who was presumed dead for most of their lives. Despite the initial awkwardness, things are going well.

As for Leyla, a heated reunion between her moms led to an unexpected surprise - three actually. In about five months their little family of three will double in size. While her moms are terrified, Leyla's at the point where she's fully looking forward to having three new siblings. Sure, it'll be tough as her moms are out of practice with taking care of a baby (or babies). The way Leyla sees it, the 20 + age difference is more of an advantage because she can easily help take care of the babies as her moms will definitely be overwhelmed.

So along with overseeing the islands, Leyla's been helping Rosie take care of Archer, who's on strict bedrest. Archer's doing okay for the most part but the pregnancy has taken a toll on her, especially since there's a high potential for complications. Now with reconstruction almost done - about 98% according to Leyla - she has been spending a lot of time with her moms.

It was by chance that we ran into Lenie and her brothers as well as Leyla and her moms. Leyla's been dropping by to check in on us but it wasn't until today she joined us on a fun filled day of crafting floaties and riding whales. Rosie insisted that Leyla take a well deserved break and invited us for dinner when we got back.

Crafting floaties was a lot of fun and so was diving in the Shimmering Whirlpool. It does take some getting used to though, and one should be a somewhat experienced swimmer as the currents can get quite unpredictable. A bit too rough for my liking at times - not a fan of being spun around quickly because motion sickness, ugh - but overall it was an interesting experience. Definitely more into crafting floaties though.

Maybe I would be more of a thrill seeker if I didn't get so dizzy easily. I can't even look at something spinning for more than half a minute without feeling a headache coming on.

Late afternoon and evening were much more chill, thankfully. Bubble tea, sandwiches, and ice cream at the beach. Building sandcastles and breaking open coconuts. Lying on a beach towel under an umbrella and watching the waves. It's hard to believe that a couple months ago this place was left in ruins.

The biggest highlight was the whale ride. Leyla set us up with some of her friends, who were more than happy to let us hop on and show us the ocean. And I have to say, it was an amazing experience!

For a moment, I was able to let go completely. No worries, no doubts, no second guessing myself. Just bliss and exhilaration. A rare moment in which I get to be in the moment instead of being aware that I'm living a memory that I'll be looking back on fondly someday. It's strange, to lose yourself like that and not feel... weird? Guilty? Disconnected? Like you're not enjoying it enough because a part of your mind is elsewhere.

Riding a whale towards a sunset - what a way to spend an evening! I guess my takeaway from this mind blowing experience is that I need to learn that a part of having fun is letting happiness come to you instead of forcing it or telling yourself that you should be enjoying this. I need to keep that in mind.