#today was really hard though
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sliceofhotsoda · 2 years ago
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happy birthday, kageyama tobio :-) I'm pretty proud of this edit. I hope he's having the best day ever and celebrating with shoyou!!! I love him forever, like him for always, as long as I'm living my best friend he'll be
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im-still-watching-anime · 10 months ago
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apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB
apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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becca-e-barnes · 10 months ago
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thinking about mating press with beefy!bucky. all that weight on top of you, knowing for certain he’s about to breed you?? ughhh
Oh God yes, the thought of this makes me fucking purr 🤤
Just the thought of his thick, slightly curved cock sliding as deep inside as you can take. The feeling of his tip rubbing against your cervix before he withdraws, pulling almost entirely out of you before he glides back in again.
"Good girl, 'm so proud of you. Cum nice and hard for me, I've got you. You're safe." He holds you so close, letting you sob your pleasure against his neck while he works you through another orgasm. It's tender and romantic and loving and you're beyond aware that this man makes you insanely wet.
Your thighs are still trembling as you come down from your high. Each thrust now feels like it's almost too much but with the way Bucky's groaning, he might not be able to keep it up for much longer.
"Fuck, you feel like Heaven. This pretty little pussy was made for me. Made to be mine." His thrusts are punishing but it's an addictive feeling. "I'm going to fill you. I'm not going to pull out. Going to give you a baby."
You're almost surprised how badly you want that but it's very hard to find the words to tell him; not when his thrusts are beginning to stutter and his high seems to get closer and closer.
"I'm going to fuck a baby into you." His hand holds your chin, making sure he can see your eyes. The evidence of pleasure written all over his face might've been enough to convince you that you could handle another orgasm but you'll still not quite sure that's a good idea.
Within a few more seconds, his cock is throbbing inside you, shooting stripes of hot, thick cum right against your cervix. He looks entirely content with his decision, pressing as deep as he can so you can feel him pulse and twitch.
There's not much you need to say to each other for a few seconds. Instead, it's nice to just listen to you both trying to catch your breath while your partner floods your waiting, fluttering sex with his cum.
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tadc-harlequin-au · 3 months ago
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If this was a game, I think a fun gameplay mechanic would be like a friendship meter. The friendship meter is affected by how you interacted with others. And if you have a higher friendship meter with people, they'd be more willing to help you. For example, companions with higher friendship do more damage when pomni takes them with her. Or another example is because ragathas kinda like the shopkeeper if she has a higher friendship her prices will be cheaper but if her friendship level is low they'll be really expensive. You can raise the friendship meter by going on side quests with the others or using positive dialog, and negative dialog makes the meter go down. Idk I just thought that it might be fun.
I like this idea. And you know what, FUCK IT.
AN AU OF AN AU!!!!!!! WHICH IS ALSO CANON-DIVERGENT FROM THE HARLEQUIN AU LMAO I TRULY AM AMAZING /j
THE AMAZING DIGITAL SOULS-LIKE!
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I CAN"T seem to avoid the concept of "What if the Harlequin AU was a game instead", THE UNIVERSE KEEPS PUSHING IT TO MY FACE LIKE MY YOUNGER SIBLINGS WHEN THEY SEE A COLORFUL THUMBNAIL sighs....... back to my Shadow of the Colossus boss osts bullshit..... (affectionate)
The Amazing Digital Souls-like is a Non-canon compliant Alternate Universe (that's also a game rather than an actual fantasy world) of the Harlequin AU, where a stylized souls-like VR game called "The Marvelous Mechanical Harlequin" came out at some point during the rise of souls-like gaming.
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Waking up in a well-lit main lounge of a manor, the new, amnesiac Harlequin player is met by "Bubble", a Butler Blimp, and "Caine" The Puppetmaster (whom is VERY VERY LOUD btw), claiming to be the only one who can "help her" in her current predicament.
As to be expected, she's very much on the verge of a mental breakdown, barely keeping it together while attempting to make sense of the world around her. (seriously, who thought pitching this game who sucks people inside of it to the public was a good idea??)
The Puppetmaster then proceeds to infodump everything the Harlequin player should know:
That this is a souls-like game;
she is a Harlequin Puppet in the middle of a TERRIFYING ROBOT apocalypse!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCARYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that she has to go on a boss-rush type of playthrough IF she EVER wanted to have a chance at getting out!
He'll also be the game's official guide, to which the player is having trouble digesting all this information (not surprising at all.)
When asked what's her name, she can't remember and begins crying onto the floor again (lmao skill issue). The Puppetmaster then picks one at the top of his head; "Pomni", which she reluctantly takes because it's better than having nothing.
From there on out, Pomni undergoes through a series of hardships as she dies (in a video game!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIND YOU, SHE DOES NOT DIE IN REAL LIFE!!!!) over and over again, attempting to defeat various bosses, who are the NPCs. She gains more and more confidence in the battles, but she's still quite the nervous wreck otherwise.
But hey, at least she's getting quite close to Caine, right? He's so nice, and sweet, and very caring of her, careful to reassure her that she's doing a great job with the tasks. There's also a deja vu in her head that's telling her this is somehow familiar, and his presence is a comfort to her.
Surely, everything's all fine and dandy, right?
... right?
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Little did this Harlequin know, there is a DARK secret to all this.
And that is the fact that the late bosses aren't just regular boss AIs, they're OTHER PLAYERS trapped in a boss's body, for some goddamn reason. She finds this out when she accidentally does a good chunk of damage to a boss's heart, making them able to speak to her for a bit before going back to being hostile.
With that in mind, Pomni has to DELIBERATELY hit their very durable hearts, if she wants them to be reform as normal players as the hearts imprisoned the ACTUAL avatars of the players.
The Puppetmaster is taken aback, but seems to let Pomni do her way reluctantly.
Once they are freed however, they become Pomni's allies, but they seem... unnerved by the Puppetmaster and tend to avoid him. Every time Pomni asks them why, they're just quiet and looking away. Otherwise, they seem to be grateful and helpful to Pomni about anything else.
This of course, raises Pomni's suspicions of the game's advisor, but she still needs to comply with the rules of this world and thus, has to keep throwing herself to the wolves over and over again.
By the time Pomni frees the Maddened Princess of the Theater, The Puppetmaster declares her ready to face with THE FINAL BIG BAD HIMSELF, The Patriarch of Puppets, an "evil entity who transformed everyone into horrible Puppet monsters". Everyone scoffs silently.
Pomni, according to him, must defeat the Patriarch as the final step to video game freedom.
But by the time Pomni arrives to the final arena, The Patriarch attempts to have a conversation, and seems to be struggling with himself.
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The Patriarch explains that his boss body contains "Able", someone who was close to Pomni in real life, who entered in the hopes of making his brother leave the confines of the game. He was able to remember details due to his admin access. Caine only agreed to leave IF he was capable of defeating all the bosses without using his admin abilities, "just like old times".
It was only until his late game run when he figured out (after a heated argument) that the original AI gamemaster, the very heart piece on Caine's chest, took over Caine and was making him act like a manipulative monster. When he tried to pry the heart piece away, he got sealed in the Patriarch's body as punishment.
The Puppetmaster may be unable to revoke his admin access, but it can be sealed off.
Able's been stuck ever since, but still secretly had a bit of access to the game codes if he did it on the low, an oversight by The Puppetmaster, and thus, managed to gain some semblance of control over the Patriarch's otherwise very hostile and bloodthirsty AI just in time for him to talk to Pomni.
The Puppetmaster denies these accusations, and advises Pomni not to believe the boss's manipulative words.
Pomni now has two choices.
>Kill The Patriarch of Puppets, or >face The Puppetmaster.
"Kill the Patriarch of Puppets" ending:
if Pomni decided to not believe Able, he loses his control over The Patriarch and the final boss fight begins. Once Pomni is victorious, The Puppetmaster then congratulates Pomni, but reveals a secret: That there was never an exit.
Pomni simply passed the final test, and now, she's ready to become a boss herself. Try as she might, she cannot escape this and she becomes "The Mechanical Jester of the Circus", the new final boss of the game. All her movesets are reconfigured to become the boss' attacks.
Able resets to normal, now forever trapped to be The Patriarch as The Puppetmaster corrects the previous oversight. The others are reset to become bosses again.
A new player joins, unaware of the horrors that awaits them.
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Sad ending :((( How very tragic....
"Face the Puppetmaster" ending:
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if Pomni decided to believe Able, a boss fight still ensues but this time, The Patriarch of Puppets is only the Penultimate boss instead of the final stretch. Pomni frees Able, who reforms into his original 'card deck' avatar and regains administrative access to the game.
The Puppetmaster accuses Pomni of breaking his heart and breaking game rules, and thus, has to battle with him IN ONE GO. There is no more reset button for her.
But Able comes in clutch and ensures her that HE will be the one to make sure Pomni can come back as many times as possible to finish the fight and free Caine.
Once Pomni is victorious, The gamemaster heart piece breaks, and Caine is knocked out. All the blocked out memories return to the players.
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(Able's design belongs to sm-baby btw!!!!)
Apparently, the VR game was revolutionary. Players could physically enter the world and be immersed in the game's astounding graphics, creative boss rushes and open world exploration aspect. It did VERY well initially, but not well enough to stand the test of time.
Player numbers eventually dissipated when the brothers moved on to greener pastures (so the game didn't have updates), and the AI gamemaster was heartbroken for essentially being abandoned. As a result, any new players that entered the game could not escape, simply because they all forgot they had access to the menu from the very beginning. lmfao
When Caine rediscovered the game and wanted to replay it for old time's sake, the same fate befell him. The gamemaster recognized one of his creators, and took over his entirety, becoming The Puppetmaster.
Able followed suit, wanting to let Caine out but he was sealed into the Patriarch's body before he could succeed.
Pomni, who's actual name is "Penelope", was Caine's significant other in real life and got worried that Caine wasn't responding to her calls while she was on a business trip. She tried contacting Able, no response either.
When she finally arrived to their apartment, The Marvelous Mechanical Harlequin game was on, and recognizing it to be the brothers' old souls-like game, she put on the headset. And from there on out, the story begins.
The other players are able to forgive Caine's actions, and not pass lawsuits once they are able to go back to the real world. Now, with the gamemaster gone, the game has become somewhat active again, though this time, it was the others (and additional new people) hopping in back into the game just to hang out and maybe do some DLC boss rushes implemented by the brothers.
It's pretty epic, y'all. Happy ending yippie!!!!!!!!!
Now if you'll all excuse me... OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY ARM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
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bloobydabloob · 3 months ago
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Your art is genuinely one of the most inspiring I’ve seen in ages. Immediately upon discovering your blog, I was mesmerized by your creativity bleeding into and staining each piece you’ve posted. Don’t know a lick of Homestuck, but it’s unnecessary to when your art tells me all I need to know without saying a single word. I can grasp why fans of the comic hold it so dear when you paint such a beautiful image of it. (figuratively, not referring to your actual paintings, LOL! Does this count as a pun?)
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Sorry, this is just an unrelated doodle because I don’t have any relevant images to add.
I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to tell me this, thank you. I know it is just like a little act of kindness to you but nice messages mean a lot to me and I wish I could properly project how glad I am to have kind people supporting my art in *any* amount. I’m someone who gets very easily stressed out running accounts so talking to people is what makes it worth the hassle for me. I’m glad you like my art and that it inspires you and anyone else reading this who may feel similarly, I hope I don’t quit art and that I keep improving.
I also do very much recommend giving Homestuck a read if you’ve got the time. The fanbase is unfortunately something I don’t have much of a positive view on but even if it is just some internet comic, reading it growing up is definitely something I wouldn’t take ever back. It has some of the best character / world building of anything I’ve read thus far and it has always just stuck with me. I’ve never had a homestuck friend that moved on from it, which is something I rarely find. I think it appeals to everyone in a different way because of the writing and how vast it is / how many bases it covers. I’m sure that if you ever read it you would find your own connections within the comic. I know though that my drawings are less connected with the atmosphere of the comic itself and infinitely more attuned to my own interpretations and feelings towards the characters, but I also think there is already enough more fitting homestuck art for me to just draw whatever.
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Anyways here is my cool new print I got for my wall from @/ReptileEnclosed’s InPrnt, and here are just some of the nice things people have said to me that stick in my mind. Every time someone says something I appreciate I screenshot it and add it to a folder called “Nice Words”.
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feroluce · 26 days ago
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Made a FANTASTIC discovery today regarding the meaning behind Boothill's fourth eidolon, I'm so happy!!! Most of it is just cowboy references, like
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Eidolon 1: Dusty Trail's Lone Star- cowboy lingo, the Lone Star of Texas
Eidolon 2: Milestonemonger- more cowboy lingo, someone who roams and wanders
Eidolon 3: Marble Orchard's Guard- yet more cowboy lingo, a term for a graveyard (a fave of mine, because for me it evokes the image of a Church Grim <333)
Eidolon 4: Cold Cuts Chef- ????
Google didn't really provide much on Eidolon 4 like for the first three. Before today I had assumed it was just another movie reference of some sort, since Boothill is like entirely based on/inspired by old Western films.
"Cold cuts" are basically lunch meat/deli meat. It's precooked meat that doesn't need any kind of preparation- you can literally just eat it cold. Since it didn't seem to be a movie reference, I thought oh, maybe it's a nod to his lifestyle? Boothill is unhoused and lives on the run from the IPC with little rest, he doesn't really have the means to cook. Precooked, easy food like that would be a godsend for someone in his circumstances.
Anyway the original Chinese text gives it an entirely different, MUCH wilder meaning fjadskljfkld
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love how they chose "celebrity chef" to show his expertise and/or fame in this fjkdlsja
Because no, "cold cuts" isn't cowboy lingo for anything, but cold meat specifically is.
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It's how you refer to a corpse.
"Cold Cuts Chef" is not a title talking about his cooking ability, or his life's circumstances, or anything as mundane as that, IT'S ABOUT THE FACT THAT BOOTHILL SPECIALIZES IN DEALING DEATH, THIS MAN IS EXTREMELY SKILLED, AND GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES, AND WHAT HE DOES IS MURDER!!!!!
#AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM!!!!!!#*dreamy sigh* there is so much blood on his hands#I love morally dubious men <3#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#boothill#I know this eidolon's title is not a reference to any form of cannibalism. I know that.#But GOD I hope that's an in-universe rumor that spreads about him through the lower ranks of the IPC grunts JFKDLASJDKLFJ#I think he would lean into it so hard. he would have so much fun with it.#Boothill is hiding in the shadows waiting for the right moment to strike. He's listening to these two grunts gossip about him.#'Wow did you hear about that crazy cowboy. I heard they found the bodies with pieces missing.' Boothill has the biggest grin.#'I heard one time they didn't find the bodies at ALL.' 'That's terrifying!' Boothill has to bite his scarf to keep from cackling.#He keeps telling himself no no he can't reveal himself yet he's waiting for the patrol switch he has a goal today!!#'Thank the Preservation this place is safe. I wouldn't wanna be off-planet with a scary guy like that wandering around-#-especially if he really is eating people.' 'Surely that's not true though right? ...Right?'#Well. Look the point is he held out as long as he could ok.#And unable to resist the temptation any longer Boothill melts out of the shadows from behind them#right in between the two of them#and his voice is practically right in their ears as he tells them#'What'd ya think I got the teeth for?'#run boys run KFLAJKLFDJSKLFJDKLSJFDK
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sonic-adventure-3 · 2 years ago
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unmmmmm outfit concept or something
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naamahdarling · 2 months ago
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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dustykneed · 5 months ago
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Hello! Random whipper snipper! Share a WIP of your work!
ooh, with pleasure. six the musical araleyn fanart? in the year 2k24? more likely than you think xDD
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i realize this looks finished, but technically i'm still deciding whether to add a background or not lol. still, for the sake of sharing a proper WIP, here's a line or two from an araleyn brainworm WIP that i started reworking yesterday (mild tw for religious guilt and period-typical internalized homophobia from aragon's pov):
She remembers sharing her bed with Anne at Henry's behest, remembers the nights of tossing and turning and trying not to think about Anne asleep next to her-- remembers waking up to dark hair spilling across her pillow and the press of blood-warm bosoms against her own, softer than sin, as hot as the Devil, remembers lying still as death, mouthing prayers into the heat of Anne's neck like an act of penance.
#six the musical#six the musical fanart#six the musical araleyn#araleyn#araleyn fanart#i... cannot remember if it's fandom custom to use the full name tags#ah so it appears it is in fact fandom custom#catherine of aragon#catalina de aragon#anne boleyn#today we hazard a fleeting glimpse into the abtruse psyche of the dusty...#what other fandoms do they contain? wouldnt you like to know weather boy#well i mean honestly i don't know either but we'll find out as they rotate thru my conciousness#not trek#yeaaah i'm a spones girl (gender neutral) through and through. The more you know#and before you ask no this is not the og old married couple that went so hard i gained a type in ships forever after#though they are pretty up there in my blorbo rotation cycle#... on some level i may be yelling into the void with this one but no harm in that yeah?#but maybe the six fandom isn't as dead as i've been assuming. who knows? this is my self indulgent blog dammit#ill be self indulgent <33#also i keep forgetting it's pride month xDD my straight irls wish me happy pride and im always like OH Right nice yeah#but i haven't drawn these two in so long!! feels so good stretching the old married sapphics muscle again#dust writes#so happy about the vibe in this one ngl! theyre Soft ok. i like that very much. And also this aragon is so my type LMAO#really rambly tonight whoops. but i guess its the closest to a non-art post i can get to keep my page navigable? mm#...dammit now I'm thinking about araleyn in spones' roles. also i REALLY really should study#in hugely dire straits right now yall except i can't stop drawing/writing. whooooops.#sapphic#pride month#dust talks
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rainsleeper · 1 month ago
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woo i posted (once in a lifetime occurence)
cringetober 2024 day 7: crossover
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.
(Part 2)
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milkweedman · 16 days ago
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Howdy! I'm so glad the bag is going well. Do you have a post where you talk about how you go about felting them?
To be entirely honest, I just throw my soon-to-be-felted object in the washer and dryer. I've found that unless its very large it needs other things in the wash with it, so i usually add in a towel or two. The washer in my current place has settings for water temp (I choose the hot then cold option for maximum felting) as well as settings for agitation level (I usually choose the most agitation).
When it comes out of the washer its rarely fully felted and will look limp and not great if you dont also run it thru the dryer, or else continue felting it in the wash. For the dryer, it again needs other things in the dryer with it. Towels are great.
Sometimes I will run an object through a full wash/dry cycle and then decide it could be more felted and throw it in again on the same or gentler settings, depending on how much more it needs to felt.
You might be concerned about over felting your piece and ending up with a hard tiny piece of wool...I would certainly test your washer/dryer setup with a swatch at least the first time to see what it does, but in my experience felting a piece takes a lot of time and energy, way more than you'd expect, and none of the washer/dryers ive used have taken it from "beautiful airy piece" to "hard lump" even after repeated washes. Im sure it depends on the machines to a point, and on the wool.
The other thing of note is that while you CAN call it day after washer/dryer and still get a much more robust piece, theres additional steps you can do to further process it--brushing it and then ironing it again. That's how any sort of hard felt is usually made. Lots of steam and pressure with an iron after pulling extra fibers to the surface. I don't often do this so I don't have much to say about it.
Also--knitting likes to lose its stitch structure during felting, meaning it will often turn out without much visual texture. Weaving can do this as well. Not as practiced a weaver so I don't want to say too much, but it seems both wool knitting and weaving can lose visible stitch structure.
Crochet on the other hand does not do this. Because it is made of small knots rather than a flatter, more web like structure, what happens is that the knots tighten and get smaller, but typically the holes do not fill in. Maybe they would do that with brushing and ironing, haven't tried it on an open crochet piece. But felted crochet has a pretty different feel from felted weaving and knitting. I like to crochet wool bags because they're easy to make and strong, and felting them adds further strength and durability, but it doesnt turn them into solid objects like felting a knit bag does. Even single crochet (us terms) will kind of just get smaller and a little harder but not necessarily more solid. Just something to keep in mind.
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insertsomthinawesome · 10 months ago
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I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
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quietlyblooms · 3 months ago
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alrighty, friends, i feel the need to be a little transparent because it's affecting things here. the short version of everything is: i'm not doing so hot in the mental health department. no one needs to be concerned -- i'm okay even if i'm having a hard time. but i just ask that everyone continues to be patient and understanding bc i promise that i'm excited to write and chat!! both new and old mutuals, i have so much admiration for you all!! the problem is that the discomfort and sensitivity i feel are making it increasingly difficult to be punctual and social.
so what does this mean? it means my activity may continue to be extra slow. i might procrastinate with messages or go completely silent. i might not log on some days just so i don't have to use my brain. but however my presence here fluctuates, i promise that in no way this is a reflection of my feelings towards you or our muses. i'm just going through it.
all that said, thank you for being here <3 thank you for filling my dash with things that make me smile, and thank you for being a space where i can relax. i care about all of you so much, and i encourage you to be kind to yourselves!! take breaks!! take your time!! your happiness and health matter first always.
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thisfuckingdork · 1 month ago
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Group projects are great actually.
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