#today was a struggle day
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟
#pan draws#pan designs#zine#risograph#i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline#i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently#anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in#but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they#actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye#tdov#trans day of visibility#<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you#xines
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi so I might’ve made a painting of my Inquisitor while trying to mimic Solas’s style so I can pretend he made it
#I’ve titled it Decade of Pining#I’m handling the wait for veilguard well as you can see#I didn’t sleep last night and just worked on this woops#at least I have the day off today so it’s no biggie#but I am perhaps a bit delirious#i think this is good for my first try#but i need to work on making things more simplified if i wanna do this again#especially in the face he doesn’t do faces tbh#I struggle a lot with not over complicating things#always have#i just wanna add more#i know no restraint#solas#dragon age#shivana lavellan#my art#dragon age fanart#solavellan#da4#dragon age veilguard#da:tv
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
I need to see your version of devil Charles and angel Erik of the special draw for Halloween they've done😂😂
i haven't much time today i fear but ill ALWAYS find enough time for Them
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#i made like three sketches i was driving myself mad we have to settle with this for now djEPDJSK#also my organs hurt today im in struggle city#but please enjoy for now !#i think i oughta just accept weekends to be my cherik days my weekdays crazy esp with midterms#god we’re already at midterms. time is crazy#anyway ignore this because ill absolutely juice the seconds out of my day to dedicate to cherik#for now tho. my favorite class time LETS GOOOOO
514 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who wants to see my demo plates from work? I don't care I'm showing them anyways
#the one on the right is the firts one i made a week ago#the one on the left was started that same day but i finished it today after practicing other plates#im still struggling with the wiggles. augh but i think i found a system that works#i also totally forgot to texture the rim on the second like i just forgor#personal
814 notes
·
View notes
Text
#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
457 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy mothers day to myself and everyone else out there who raised themselves, and at times even parented their own parents. You deserve to be celebrated for getting through that shit. Fuck anyone who tells you you have to give credit to your birth mother just because she gave birth to you. Being a parent is earned through actions and not through some inherit ownership of ones child. It's hard to stomach at times I know I struggle to remember it, daily questioning my feelings and memories, but we worked hard to survive. Acknowledge that today.
#Heres one for people like me that struggle with today#Not sure if its only mothers day in australia or other countries too or what#But whatever#aceofdragons#reminder#mothers day#actually abused
436 notes
·
View notes
Note
everything is the same except Odile is the one looping
oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*
Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!
Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):
hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops
toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)
#isat#odile loops au#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat odile#odile timeloop au#congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!!#contexts:#candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though#i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help#I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all#and she might as well maximize her loops#under cut:#she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting#yes loop is still you know who in this one#toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks#not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments#with variables to control and test#that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock#(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries)#day 26 today?#A big one! Have funnn#you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao#isat au
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.
i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.
andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.
neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.
aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.
i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying
#or maybe this doesn’t make sense at all#idk i am struggling with words today#but genuinely i love how there’s no perfect ‘therapy friend’ in the series because it’s so unrealistic when someone is dealing with trauma#and somehow someone with a completely different upbringing understands them perfectly and always says exactly what the character needs#to hear#it’s something you see in fiction too much#the way these characters share certain experiences but aren’t 100% united in their responses to trauma#makes them feel so real#even if it means they say the wrong things sometimes#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#kevin day#aaron minyard#i do indeed ramble on too much ik what ur thinking
363 notes
·
View notes
Text
pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
392 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 7: This death was painful
Previous/Next
(prompt list here!)
#smoke cloud nari might look vicious but hes in the gateway longing and pining and sighing whistfully waiting for them to visit again#this is ment to be poison but uh. i think it ended up looking more like fire#still works but eh#today was Not an art day i struggled from start to finish#took much inspo from how stychu colors bc im in love with her work#cotltober#cotl#drawtober#my art#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl the one who waits#cotl drawtober#cotl toww#cult of the lamb#cw gore#just to be safe
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
Viridian trainers for day 5 of spesilverweek! they are my most beloved but Lance is a cursed character who is impossible to draw or portray in any way to me
#idk what's up with him but I have smth like 20 different scrapped things that contains these 3#and yet I almost always finish my doodles of just Yellow and Silver.... sorry Lance#he's such a funny guy to me esp as part of this trio I'm sorry I always give up on you#anyway yeah no I'm so late bc I wasn't happy with this so I wanted to draw smth else but I was doing chwismas today and was too tired#so I stayed up late doing nothing...#I so badly wanted to shit on Green's dumb cape too (affectionate)#spesilverweek#pokespe#pokespe silver#my art#pokespe yellow#pokespe lance#I'm just gonna tag everyone like that I guess#anyway I feel like having a Viridian trainers prompt was a gift to my soul but I rly struggled I'm so sorry guys one day...#pokemon
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
lil sebastian doodle page (ft my farmer)
#my farmer's a he/they like me kiss kiss#this man has overtaken my one remaining brain cell#i relate to him so heavily it's insane#i STRUGGLED figuring out how to draw his hair but seems i figured it out by the sitting one#that and the sleepy one are from today while the others are from the last few days#i've seen a lot of art where i feel like he's yassified too much so i tried to not do that#i love him just the way he is#stardew valley#stardew sebastian#sdv sebastian#sebastian x farmer#farmer star#sdv fanart#idk the tags lol#my art#doodles/sketches/wips#thanks to my cis male friend who answered my inquiry whether men can sit with their legs like that or not LMAO#the answer is basically yes but it's stressful
287 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, for aro awareness week, I need you all to start recognizing that:
NOT EVERYONE IN THE ARO COMMUNITY IS FROM THE UNITED STATES OR EUROPE.
Please, when we're having discussions about aphobia, allonormativity amatonormativity, and other issues for the love of god STOP PRETENDING THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND LISTEN TO US!
We aren't just your token aros that exist in the other side of the world just for you to prove that we are everywhere or whatever point you're trying to make, we are living, breathing human beings and members of the aro community and we deserve respect and to be remembered not as a point in your discourse but as equals.
I am sick and tired of people just assuming that everyone in the community is either from the United States or Europe and only centering those voices in the discussion. We exist too.
#mayaposts#aro#aromatic#aro awareness week#aromantic awareness week#aro awareness week 2024#aroallo#aroace#arospec#filipino aro#asian aro#poc aro#sorry this came about after someone replied to me saying that not everyone can afford necessities with one income and that rent is too#expensive these days with ''just move to less expensive cities like amsterdam or london and get a full time job'' and it PISSED ME OFF#mind you it was a discussion on why aroaces (who may not have partners or roommates) struggle in today's economy#the other person was not only dismissive of the op who was explaining the frustrations of needing to work multiple jobs to stay afloat#but also trying to just dismiss the struggles of single income people (in this case non-partnering aroaces)#and the implication that we should just ''move out of london and amsterdam and get a full time job'' to be able to afford rent#is such a privileged european/american take#sorry im ranting now lol im just peeved off#i dont even know if the other person was aroace at all tbh but whatever
601 notes
·
View notes
Text
you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
485 notes
·
View notes
Text
sillies
another close up for the masses ^_^ theyre too cute we looove mazey phaedra in this household
#HE WANTS TO BE NONCHALANT SOOOO BAD BUT THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY. YOUR HONORRRRRRR#originally i struggled to make him look like he likes this so if its not clear he is very happy to be in this situation#fabzey back to back in the same day im on fire today . i wasnt even planning on these being the first drawings i posted i wanted to post#aydafig or some cassandra stuff i was working on a few days ago but then i was like wait. what if fabzey. what if. they just come so natura#ly to me that i ended up drawing them over and over..... oughhh i stop now i feel like i always say too much in the tags#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy fanart#fabian seacaster#mazey phaedra#dimension 20#d20#fanart#fantasy high junior year#fabzey#mine
329 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel sick
#i know fearmongering doesn't help but i can't stop shaking#i feel like on top of the very real danger for anyone who's not white/straight/cis/male#we're going to have a magor cleansing of the online content i love#my brain cant even wrap around how to begin to be normal right now#i have fucking work today#i feel like life was supposed to be starting and now its over#and i know. life prevails#but i want a good life. i want the people i care about to be safe. i want to be able to have a partner one day.#i want to enjoy queer content online#i cant formulate thoughts right now#and im aorry for adding to what's certainly just doom typing#but im struggling to see any way this is not goong to destroy every part of my life i hold dear
105 notes
·
View notes