#today i only listened to the songs and drove my sister crazy

[satansapostle6]

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content. Violence.

“The Baby Sister”

“The Family Legacy”

Rodrick couldn’t stop thinking about Sara in the past week since they first started to become friends. It was a sickness.

Today alone, he thought about her first thing in the morning, as he opened his eyes and woke up, as he was brushing his teeth(he hoped his breath didn’t smell bad), as he put on his deodorant(he hoped he didn’t smell bad), as he got dressed, while he drove to school, and all throughout his classes.

He knew he had to do something about his feelings for Sara, because they were really starting to become apparent to most of the other people in his life. This, of course, included his band mates, although Chris and Ben also had eyes for Sara Walter, just like any of the other boys who saw her. Rodrick figured the only reason Sara wasn’t as popular as Heather Hills was because she just didn’t want to be.

Sara spent most of her time in and out of school alone, so naturally Rodrick felt pretty important when she decided to spend her time in his company. She typically came with Bill to band practices in Rodrick Heffley’s garage, where she served as quite the distraction to her brother’s younger band mates.

But that day, the members of the charmingly spelled Löded Diper were busy trying to put together a decent set list, for a small backyard party. Rodrick had been standing around with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes as he and Bill watched Ben and Chris argue over songs. Sara, who sat on the couch, decided she’d tune out all the arguing and work on her flash of potential tattoo designs.

“Will you two just shut the fuck up so we can figure this out?!” Rodrick groaned.

“Just give ‘em a few minutes, little bro,” Bill offered his wisdom as he patted him on the shoulder. “Oh. Dude. I almost forgot.”

“What?” Rodrick asked him in fear, thinking it was some sort of band emergency.

“You should totally ask Sara Bear to come to the party with you!” Bill whispered urgently, eyeing his sister to make sure she wasn’t listening in.

“But… can’t Sara drive herself?” Rodrick questioned.

“No, dude, like on a date!” Bill urged him.

“…What?” Rodrick asked skeptically.

He didn’t know anything about having a sister, but he was certain there was no way any guy would willingly encourage his friend to ask his younger sister out.

“Yeah, man, she’s crazy about you!” Bill insisted. “It’s so obvious!” he scoffed.

“She ashed her cigarette on me the other day,” Rodrick frowned, not trusting him at all.

“That’s how she flirts!” Bill exclaimed. “If she did that to you, you’re in! I mean…Not in. That’s still my baby sister. But, anyway, dude, she likes you.”

“…Really?” Rodrick asked, deciding if anyone knew Sara, it had to be her brother.

“Yeah! You should ask her out. Right now,” he encouraged.

“Okay!” Rodrick exclaimed, walking over to the couch. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, anything for you, brother!”

He then realized that, just like the first time he ever had a real conversation with Sara, he had gone over there with no plan. But, it was already too late, so he decided to just go with it.

“Hey, Sara Bear!” he blurted out, visibly cringing and once he realized what he’d said.

“Hey… Roddy,” she frowned humorously, “What’s up?”

“Uh… I was thinking,” he began.

“I’m impressed,” Sara nodded approvingly.

“No…” Rodrick massaged his temples in frustration as he tried to come up with something good, naturally failing. “I was wondering if you were gonna go to our gig this weekend? At the house party?”

“Yeah,” she replied supportively, “I’ll be there.”

“Alright! Totally! Cool…” he trailed off, trying to regain his composure. “Uh… I was thinking, that, maybe… I don’t know…” he struggled to the point of completely abandoning his train of thought.

“Huh?” she asked in confusion.

“Uh, I don’t know, I just wanted to see if maybe you’d, uh, wanna…”

“Go out with you?” Sara offered, coming to the conclusion before he did.

“Yes! …Yeah,” he nodded, trying to still seem somewhat cool, even if that wasn’t really an option.

Rodrick stood there awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his grey jeans.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded with a smile. “For sure.”

“Really?” he laughed, catching himself just as she did. “I mean. Really?” he flirted.

“I know Bill put you up to this,” she smirked, eyes glancing at her older brother for a split second, “He’s been talking you up to me for the past week. He’s a real wing man, by the way.”

“Oh. Cool,” Rodrick remarked, slowly turning to look back at Bill, whose widened eyes suggested he was desperate for an update.

Completely clueless, Bill gave Rodrick a questioning thumbs up as Sara watched. Rodrick slowly made an awkward thumbs up, to which Bill nearly reacted by jumping up and down and shouting. After that, Rodrick returned to the band, feeling rejuvenated.

Just before 6 o’clock, Mrs. Heffley poked her head into the garage, watching as Chris and Ben both took off. Bill and Sara still remained, as Rodrick discussed various details of a song with the thirty-five year old.

“Rodrick? Dinner’s ready,” Susan said.

“I’ll be in in a minute, Mom,” he called, “I’m still talking to Bill and Sara,” he said patiently, pointing out his friends standing in front of him.

“Well, I told you that dinner was ready ten minutes ago, and we’re not eating until everyone’s seated at the table,” she stated calmly. “If you still have things to discuss with your friends, you can do that at the table. We have plenty of food,” she offered.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Rodrick assured her, “Bill and Sara were just—”

“Oh, Mrs. H, we’re starving!” Bill spoke for his sister before she could protest, “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled warmly, “Come on in. I made spaghetti.”

“I love spaghetti!” Bill exclaimed childishly as Rodrick and Sara exchanged looks.

The pair of siblings followed Rodrick into the Heffley house. Bill was much more excited, while Sara seemed a lot more tentative.

“Guys, Rodrick’s friends will be joining us for dinner tonight,” Susan Heffley smiled.

Rodrick took his usual seat beside Greg, who seemed to see Sara’s presence as an opportunity. Rodrick glared at him angrily, as Sara sat down directly across from him, next to Bill.

“I’m so sorry,” he mouthed to her silently, only to receive a tiny ‘it’s okay’ back.

“So, we know Bill,” Susan began, turning to Sara, “I’m sorry, sweetie, what was your name?”

“Sara,” she smiled timidly. “I’m in the same grade as Rodrick.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Frank said pleasantly as he filled his plate. “You go to Crossland?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, hesitantly putting food on her plate as Bill piled a mess of salad and spaghetti onto his.

“Oh, wow. And Bill’s your older brother?” Susan asked.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, as Frank Heffley completely froze.

Rodrick’s father’s face froze as Rodrick tried to stop him from making a scene, only to be completely ignored.

“I’m sorry, your Bill’s sister?” the man asked shakily.

“Dad…” Rodrick said nervously.

“Yeah,” Sara responded, not seeming as awkward.

“Rodrick’s taking my baby sister out this Saturday,” Bill announced proudly with a mouthful of meatballs. “He’s been crushing on her all week,” he teased.

Greg turned to Rodrick, eyes widened in fear as both of their parents slowly took in the girl’s appearance, from her balayage, to her thin eyebrows, to her loose-fitting grey sweater that she wore off the shoulder. Luckily, she seemed somewhat more conservative without makeup.

“…Oh,” Frank gasped, still in shock. “So that was your cigarette out there last week?” he concluded, seeming horrified.”

Rodrick was horrified.

“What?” Susan questioned, having no idea what he was talking about.

“You’re the girl Greg told us about that was smoking?” Frank continued.

“Dad!” Rodrick exclaimed, mortified.

“Uh, no, Mr. Heffley,” Sara said quickly, “I don’t smoke… That must’ve been my cousin Cindy that was with me, we hang out a lot, so she’s always with me.”

“Yeah,” Bill agreed, realizing this was his fault,“Cousin Cindy’s a huge smoker. Coughs up a lung every morning.”

“Yeah, Dad, I wasn’t talking about Sara,” Greg promised, feeling uncomfortable.

“Oh,” Frank murmured, allowing himself a moment to adjust, “Sorry. That was rude,” he smiled, trying to be disarming.

“Yes, it was,” Susan agreed with her husband. “So, Rodrick, you’re finally introducing us to your girlfriend?”

Greg nearly choked on his food from laughter as Rodrick’s mouth stood agape in horror.

“Mom!” he gasped, mortified.

Sara just looked across the table at Greg, seeming to just be appreciating the humor in the situation, if anything. Rodrick said nothing to her, and just have her an apologetic grimace.

“We’re not dating!” he cried.

Sara tried her best to hide her involuntary grin at the absurd situation.

“But, aren’t you going out on a date?” Susan asked.

“Honey, just let them be,” Frank said calmly, “They’re just kids…”

“Well, I just wanted to know!” the woman argued.

Rodrick watched powerlessly as Sara uncomfortably looked down at her plate, feeling horrible. He didn’t know what to do to help the situation, but he felt even if he could think of something, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. There wasn’t much he could do for either of them at this point.

Sara sat in her seat quietly throughout the meal, only speaking when spoken to, and constantly looking to her brother to signal that they should leave. But, unfortunately for her, her brother was Bill. Bill didn’t seem to be getting the hint. It was probably another 45 minutes or so before he announced that they’d be leaving.

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. H, it’s been real, but me and Sara Bear gotta go,” Bill said as he stood, “We’ll catch you guys later!”

“Alright, take care,” Susan Heffley smiled, a strange discomfort behind her eyes.

“See you,” Frank smiled.

“I’ll, uh, walk you guys out,” Rodrick volunteered, standing with them.

He awkwardly walked behind Sara, hand anxiously hovering over the small of her back as he ushered her out of the house.

“I am so sorry,” he sighed, looking at Sara to see if there was a chance he’d ever see her again.

“Aw, don’t be!” Bill said cluelessly, “I had a great time!”

Sara just shook her head as they all walked out the front door.

“Bill, can you start the car?” she asked politely, intending on having a talk with him later.

“Oh, I get it,” he smirked, looking up at Rodrick, “You two want some alone time.”

“Yes, we do,” she agreed impatiently, waiting for him to walk away before directing her attention back to Rodrick. “So…” she grimaced.

“So…” he genuinely had no idea what to say at this point.

“Sorry, I tried to get Bill to leave, but… you know how he is,” Sara sighed.

“No, it’s fine. My parents don’t hate you guys or anything. They just think I’m gonna turn out like Bill,” Rodrick frowned, not hearing himself.

“Yeah. So do mine,” she assured him. “That’s kind of the problem with them.”

“Well… I actually think you’re really cool the way you are,” Rodrick thought aloud, not sure if he sounded stupid.

“Thank you, Rodrick,” Sara nodded, looking up at him in a way that made his knees buckle.

“You’re welcome,” he stared back, still terrified of her.

“I’ll, uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she left, worried that if she showed how excited she was everything would immediately start to go wrong.

“See you tomorrow,” he echoed, watching her as she left.

The car ride home wasn’t too bad for Sara. It was easy explaining to him where he went wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Heffley, but it was more difficult for Sara to get him to see the problems with their own family.

“Bill, we saved up enough money,” Sara sighed as they arrived at home. “We could get an apartment, easily. You can be my guardian until I’m 18. We both make enough money—”

“Sar, I told you, we can’t,” Bill sounded heartbroken listening to his sister. “We can’t just leave Connor!”

“Bill, forget about Connor!” she argued, “We need to think about us, just this once!”

“That’s Mom’s job,” he reminded her, “That’s all she’s ever done, is think about us. We can’t just leave her.”

“Bill, she’s an adult, and so are we,” Sara scoffed, looking at the house that wasn’t their childhood home from the sidewalk. “I can’t stay in that house anymore, Bill. Not after that night.”

The incident of three weeks ago was still a very sensitive topic in their household.

“Look, I get it, I really do,” her older brother promised, “But it’s just a couple more years. Less than a year. And then you can do whatever!”

“And what about you, huh?” she demanded. “You’re just gonna stay here, forever, in the basement? Just because of Connor?”

“He needs us!”

“He’ll be okay!” Sara insisted. “It’s not like we’re leaving the country, we just need a little space! We both did our time in that house, and now we need to get out for our own good!”

“I can’t do that,” Bill said with finality.

“Can’t, or won’t?” she questioned, looking him in the eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t leave Connor.”

“You can’t leave Connor, or you can’t leave Mom?”

“I’m not leaving, Sara,” he said softly. “You can. But I have to stay. Okay?”

From the pained look on his face to the glassy reflection in his eyes, Sara knew she couldn’t press it any further. She was angry, and she needed to leave, but she knew her brother had been hurt enough.

“Okay,” she nodded, dropping the subject entirely.

“Okay,” Bill nodded vigorously, sniffling as he tried to regain his youthful energy.

The more Sara looked into the darkness of his eyes that night, the more she realized that it was his childhood that had aged him so.

“Please, for the love of God, Sar,” he sighed, before they walked up to their house. “Just don’t start with him.”

“I won’t start with him if he doesn’t start with me first,” she muttered as Bill opened the door for her.

The two quietly entered their home, hoping they wouldn’t be noticed and could just slip by. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

“You guys sure are home late,” said a voice that made them both shake.

Randy Sharpe, their stepfather, was seated in the living room, reading a book written by a man who could supposedly make anyone a millionaire.

“We had dinner at the Heffleys’,” Bill said through gritted teeth as Sara stopped behind him.

“It’s not even 7 yet,” she said quietly.

“What’d they feed you?” the man asked, being the only one that found humor in his musings. “Caviar on toast?”

“Spaghetti,” Sara interjected. “They’re nice people.”

“And I’m not?” he looked up from his book.

“Yeah, you’re a real peach, Randy,” Bill muttered, creeping off toward the basement as their mother entered the room.

“Hey, Bill. Hey, Sar Bear. How was practice?” Destiny Sharpe asked, intentionally moving the conversation along.

“Good, thanks, Ma,” Bill walked off.

“You know,” Randy chuckled, watching him as he took off his reading glasses, “It makes sense, letting that one come and go as he pleases, I mean… he’s half gone already, but Sara’s still a kid,” he pointed out, pointing his glasses at her.

“Randy, Sara’s sixteen, she’s old enough to not have to come home before 7,” Destiny chuckled, still finding the situation humorous, “Besides. When she works, sometimes she’s not home ‘til 11.”

“What does she need a job for?” he questioned. “She’s a kid!”

“So are you, Randy,” Sara used his name like an insult.

“Hey,” her mother frowned.

“What, he gets to sit there and criticize us all day, but the second someone responds, he’s only human?” she gestured to him in disbelief.

“Hey. Show your mother some respect,” Randy said sternly.

“You first,” Sara cocked her head at him. “Has Mom even seen her paycheck this month? Huh? Could she even tell me how much it’s for, or do I have to go through your ‘accountant’?”

“That is enough,” Destiny interrupted, “Sara, have you been smoking? Weed, that is, because I can smell the box 100’s from over here.”

“I wish,” she responded honestly, glancing over at her stepfather. “I don’t know how else anyone deals with him.”

“What was that, a shot?” Randy butted in. “Taking shots at your mother now?”

“Don’t get any ideas, I’ve seen that shitty Glock you own.”

“Sara!” her mother exclaimed. “You shut your mouth right now—”

“Mom?!”

Everyone looked up at the top of the stairs in a panic as a small twelve year-old looked down the stairs.

“Have you seen my PE shirt?” Connor asked.

Destiny squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself for a moment. “Uh… Yeah, baby! It’s in your drawer!”

They all watched him run back up into his room, silently looking around at each other.

“You two need to learn to get along if you’re going to live under this roof,” Sara’s mother pointed at the two of them warningly.

“Or, you could just throw him out on his ass like you should’ve years ago,” Sara crossed her arms.

“Sara,” Destiny glared, finger pointed accusingly, “You best believe that the first of the two of you to be thrown out of this house wouldn’t be Randy.”

Sara tried to contain the hatred growing within her as Randy mockingly pumped his fist in silence as his wife walked away.

“You know, Sara Bear,” Randy said with a smile, “I don’t know why you’re so determined to hate me. I’ve never laid a finger on you, or your mother. You kids wouldn’t have survived a day with my father.”

“You might not have ever hit my mom,” Sara admitted, “But I wish you would. Just so she’d realize what kind of person you are.”

Before she could lose control, Sara ran off into her room, luckily without doing anything she would regret. Not having any other options left, she angrily sank her fist through her door, putting another hole in it just like the one her middle brother had left in it after Bill shoved his head through it.

Ever since he left, Sara had times where she’d almost forget their brother Paul. They never spoke about Paul, and Paul never spoke about them. Sara envied Paul.

-

“The Date”

[loveliestavina]

tuesday 24th, october 2023.

I’m starting this to get better.

to remember. to remember to love someone new everyday. to love with my whole heart. to never forget the yips of my beautiful dog belle when she sleeps. to never forget the love i feel when my sister just sits with me on the couch with our arms around eachother with my cat sleeping curled up on the back of the couch oh so peacefully. to never forget my dad and his snarky comments sometimes that are full of a love only my dad can offer me. to remember the slight growl of my pretty dog misha whenever i even lightly tap her with my foot. the clicking of my moms keyboard in the room over while she works. the beautiful sound of my mom telling me she loves me.

to never forget. i cannot completely forget if it is written.

i’m watching winx club right now while my sister does her homework next to me. it’s math & we’re both really bad at math. and that’s okay! my sister gets frustrated sometimes but it’s okay.

my dad drove me to college today. i had english. i didn’t get much done but that’s also okay because i had to watch a lot of videos for it, so i did what i could after watching them. the classroom was really empty today, but that’s okay.

i took a nap today, too. inbetween my English and math class. i had a nightmare but that was okay, because it was kind of funny. our house was in like a mall or something for some reason 😭 then i tripped and literally fell down stairs into my house. it was crazy man. then i played roblox in it and everything that appeared on the screen appeared in real life too. me and my sister bashed an aliens skull. then i had alien skull on my feet 😨 but there were other monster things coming towards us i never exited a damn roblox game so fast in my life

me and my dad listened to scene queen together in the car today too. he told me yesterday he listened to it on his way home & that 18+ was stuck in his head. so i put it on in the car today until my dad changed it to p!nk. his favourite songs are 18+ and barbie & ken i think

we also had pizza for dinner!!!!

today was a good day. i hope tomorrow is too. 🤍

[empressofthesunwriter]

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 7:This is not you!

The Christmas break is over soon.

Too soon for my taste.

I enjoyed it greatly.

Having dates with Heidi, doing something with my female friends, and spend time with Leo.

I totally and completely ignore the fever dreams I had on Christmas.

Just ignore it and be a good girlfriend, friend, and sister.

Nothing to see here officer.

Only a normal pre-teen living her normal life in a…really fucked up city.

But we will ignore this.

Ignoring is good.

Anyway, the first school day after the break starts with a school assembly where also our parents participate.

I’m sitting between my parents, wondering what will happen next.

Mr. Mackey explains to us that Principal Victoria got fired since she didn’t react right to a student calling rape "hot Cosby" and that we will get a new principal.

The men that walks in…I get shivers all over my body.

Not because he is creepy or anything.

I know his type.

That’s a dudebro who is full-on political correctness.

My gut is right as he tells us clearly: “I don't know about you, but frankly I'm sick and tired of how minority groups are marginalized in today's society. I'm here because this place is lost in a time warp! Students who still use the word "retarded"! A teacher who said women without wombs should get an AIDS test! A chef "person of color" who the children had sing soul songs and who the children drove to kill himself!”

“No, he got brainwashed by a cult.”, corrects him Leo.

This earns my little brother two days' detention.

P.C. Principal is not joking around. Alone his name says it all.

Hey, I’m the first one who is against injustice and all that, but these dudebro’s are too extreme.

Even Mr. Mackey gets detention because he answered P.C. Principals question where the minoritys are correct.

I mean, we do have only Token.

Yet the dudebro doesn’t care.

We will need all to watch our tongue around him.

After the little assembly our parents go home or to work and we start our school day.

When it’s break time I call all my friends and my girlfriend over to my locker.

“Okay, my amazons, listen up.”, I begin in a hushed tone. “I hate to say it but we have to be careful now what we say, because we can’t even make jokes anymore. P.C. Principal is out for blood and he will pick up any political incorrectness, even if it’s sarcasm or the likes.”

“You are white as a sheet.”, points Heidi out and rubs my cheek in comfort. “Are you alright N.K.?”

“Yeah, I never saw you this scarred. I thought you would find P.C. Principal awesome!”, wonders Bebe.

All our friends make agreeing sounds.

I take Heidi’s hand and shake my head with wide eyes.

“I know his P.C. from when I lived in Miami. All and nothing is an offense to this guys. And the worst is you can’t argue with them because they will throw at you the racist, bigoted, or queerphobic card. They even don’t care if you are part of a minority. So from now on we have to watch our mouth.”

Wendy frowns at me.

“This sounds like a personal experience.”

“It is. When I lived in Miami I was dating an Hispanic girl. It wasn’t anything serious, but we had a good time with each other. Well till the day we were at this Starbucks.”, I recount my first time facing this kind of P.C. I still shiver thinking about it. “I told her she looked tired. That’s when a dudebro literally jumped up from his chair and called me out because I stereotyped her as a sleepy person. Even her telling him she really was tired, didn’t help. That guy was not stopping. I’m not ashamed to say I cried like a river. Never has someone completely destroyed me like this dude.”

All their chins meet the floor and Heidi hugs me to console me.

“Oh damn, this doesn’t sound good!”, say’s Red.

“If some of them made N.K. cry it’s serious.”, adds Nichole.

“All right, we need to watch what we are saying around P.C. Principal.”, reminds them Wendy. “Anyone who gets our pretty much real Amazon crying and being ashamed of herself is not someone you wanna mess with.”

The school bell sounds, meaning we all have to go back to our classrooms, which we do.

Only one day has to pass before the boys come to me.

And with boys I mean I saw how they send Leo over to talk to me, while Stan’s Gang minus Cartman and Craig’s gang look from save distance on.

I’m standing with Heidi at my locker, putting my books away, so we can go to the cafeteria to have lunch with our girl group.

“Hey big sis, hey Heidi.”, greets us Leo nervous. He so doesn’t want to do it. “The guys…I mean I was wondering if you N.K. will do something against P.C. Principal.”

I just look around him to fix the little cowards with a glare.

“Really brave of you all. Send my own brother in hopes I agree more. If you have to say something say it.”, I make clear.

At least the fourth-grade boys do look a bit embarrassed.

“Please N.K. you are the strongest person we know.”, Stan begins. “If you can’t get rid of P.C. Principal no one can.”

“Also since you and Heidi are the only same-sex couple, maybe you can go together to him. He will surely listen to your more since you are a minority.”, adds Craig monotone like always.

I can’t believe what I heard.

“We will certainly not get on P.C. Principals’ bad grades.”, I tell them, taking my girlfriend’s hand. “People like P.C. Principal don’t see reason, they see only their way. You can’t win against him in normal ways.”

“So we should just give up? That dude will ruin anything, what is with free speech and all.”, ask me, Kyle.

It’s weird talking to him after…well all that happened.

“No, that’s not what N.K. means.”, answers Heidi for me. I’m so thankful for her. “If you wanna get rid of P.C. Principal you have to play dirty.”

“Go to Cartman, he is the evil psychopath you need.”, I point out.

With that, we make our way to the cafeteria.

When school ends we all heard the news.

Apparently P.C. Principal kicked Cartman’s ass so hard that the fatass is now at the hospital.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m happy about that. Cartman deserves all the beatings in the world.

Yet, I’m disappointed that our local psycho couldn’t win against P.C. Principal.

I have a feeling the dudebro will stay for a long time.

The P.C. party the next day in school and hearing there Kyle stopped saying Caitlyn Jenner isn’t a hero is proof enough.

Still, I can’t help but wonder…I have my Social Media Power and my Magical Girl Form…maybe I could have WON against them.

Why did I not fight?

I’m asking this myself later at night laying in my bed.

Did I lose my will to fight?

Yes, I had a bad experience with a dudebro before, but I never backed down.

Not if I have all this power on my side.

Or…I’m just a little girl with powers who thinks she can change the world but when she should do it she shows her true colors.

The colors of a coward.

I’m so confused.

That’s when I hear how someone is knocking on my window.

…What the fuck I’m on the second floor who is crazy enough to climb up my window?

I get my answers as it opens dramatically and I see a masked boy with a dark cape and a green M on his chest and a little question mark on his hood.

“Novella-Karin Campo.”, says the mysterious boy my name in such a deep voice that sends shivers down my back. Not out of fear…I have a voice kink. So you can imagine what I’m feeling. “We need to talk. Transform and meet me at your front yard.”

“Wait a second who are you, you mysterious caped dude with the sexy voice?! How do you know me and my powers?”

“Mysterion. All will be clear to you soon.”

Dramatically he jumps down and my chin meets the floor.

I don’t know what is going on, but this Mysterion is the hottest guy I ever met.

I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend I like a lot! Don’t be a thot, N.K.!

Still, I transform and float down to the ground.

Mysterion just looks stoic at me, a dark intimidating silhouette in the moonlight. I swerve dark shadow tendrils dance around him.

I feel a power coming from him…so dark…so old…so not understandable.

This turns me even more on.

I may be bisexual but I admit I always dreamed of meeting a dashing mysterious superhero and being whisked away at night in his strong arms.

But I’m no damsel…I kind of a hero too…okay more a Magical Girl but whatever, you get my point.

Once again remember I have I girlfriend and don’t be a thot!

“So Mysterion.”, I begin curious. “Will you now tell me who you are and what you want from me?”

Something similar like a smile is on his lips.

“You can’t guess?”

“I would remember someone with a voice like that.”

“You only need to know that I’m your friend.”, he tells me. “And as your friend, I have to ask you…what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Hey!

I cross my arms and send him an angry look.

“So not only do you not want to tell me who you are, but you also insult me. Doesn’t makes you look good Mysterion.”

“Some needs to be straight with you-“

“-I’m allergic to straight, ew!-“

“-I’m not even commenting on that. When you first came to this town you were this unstoppable force of nature but since you are together with your girlfriend you became tame. The N.K. I meet would have done something against P.C. Prinicipal, yet you told us to go to Cartman. So I’m asking you, what is fucking wrong with you?”

Speechless I stare at him.

…I hate to admit it, but he is right. The same thoughts tormented me.

“Look dude, you are one of my friends, as it seems. Also, I will be frank with you…Heidi is important to me. I messed up with Kyle and Kenny and made Heidi unsure about our relationship. I will not destroy it only to help the boys.”

Mysterion has only one thing to say to me: “Coward.”

I wince, but I don’t disagree.

“So you put your relationship before anything? You have a gift, it’s your damn duty to use it for the good of the people.”

I’m remembering my fever dream where I was divorced from Heidi because I put my powers in the first place.

“What do you know about gifts? I NEVER ASKED TO BE MADE THIS WAY!”, I shout the last part into his face, pointing an accusing finger at him.

The masked boy… just looks so tired and defeated now.

“I understand you better than you think.”, he starts to tell me. “I have also a gift…a curse I didn’t ask for.”

This…didn’t expect that. I feel the sincerity of Mysterion. He looks like he lived a thousand lifetimes and only saw the worst of humanity.

“What is your curse?”, I ask quietly.

“I can’t die.”

What?!

“I've experienced death, countless times. Sometimes I see a bright light. Sometimes I see heaven. Or hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed, wearing the same old clothes.”

Shocked I put my hand on my mouth. His desperation is clear as water. Something like this you can’t fake.

“And the worst part? Nobody even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day, and everyone is just like, "Oh hey Kenny." Even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes.”

…Kenny?

Tears trail down my eyes as I cry for him.

For my princess.

I should have known it was him.

He wants to say more, but I just hug him to me.

I hug him with all the love I have in my heart for him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”, I wail. “You must think I’m the biggest egoist in the world. I never wanted to hurt you guys, no one, but it seems I can only do that. You are right I should have helped you guys…but I don’t wanna lose Heidi.”

He hugs me back, petting my head.

“There is more, isn’t there N.K.?”

“I had a dream on Christmas Eve. I saw a future where I abandon you guys for Heidi and then I abandon her for my powers. I don’t want this future to happen!”

It feels good to finally speak about it.

Mysterion…Kenny hugs me tighter, rubbing my back in comfort.

“N.K. it was only a dream.”

“It felt so real!”

“Maybe that was just your fears getting the best out of you.”, he hypnotizes. “I can promise you that I will never abandon you…I like you to much for it, even if you don’t like me anymore this way.”

A wet laugh escapes my lips.

“Silly Kenny, it’s a mess of emotions, because I STILL like you and Kyle. I’m sure Heidi knows this too and yet she told me I should stay friends with you guys. I don’t deserve her.”

Careful Kenny wipes away my tears, tutting at me.

“Now N.K. that’s too melodramatic, even for me. Why don’t you just talk with us and make a mess like this? If you don’t talk your dream will come true.”

I sniffle and Kenny hands me a tissue. I blow my nose loudly. Something like a tiny smile is on his lips.

“I love you, Kenny, I really do.”, I confess finally. “Now knowing you are just like me…it makes me love you more. You understand me. You did from the moment we meet each other as princess and mage.”

“I love you too N.K., I never felt this way for a girl. You are so important to me, please don’t push me away again.”

“Heidi…I love her too…I just…I can’t break up with her…I love her…”

The hooded boy signs, stroking my cheek.

“Babe…you know… I don’t have anything against it if you want to date Heidi still…she is a cute and nice girl…I could learn to love her too.”

…I blink rapidly at him.

Did I hear him right?

“Kenny…what do you mean?”

“I read this up on the internet. Polyamory-relationships? I would be okay with this. Don’t know how Kyle thinks about it, but if you want to date other people while we also are together I would accept it. I just…want you so much…in any way you can give me.”

My chin meets the floor.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing!

Mamma was right, I should have fucking talked with the boys before and not assumed things!

“Kenny so that you know, I would literally jump you now and make you cum with my mouth till you are dry because this makes me so happy! But we need to talk to Heidi first. She has to be okay with this too.”

I hear how he has to bit down a moan and gives me a hot look.

“You are a tease, but you are also right. Let’s talk with Heidi first thing in the morning.”

We both smile brightly at each other.

 Maybe…it really can work.

“One last thing, why did you dress up in your superhero persona to talk to me?”

“I had a feeling you would have ignored Kenny because you are also stubborn.”

“…You got me there.”

We say goodbye to each other with a hug. Back in my room, I send Heidi a text that we need to talk before school about something.

I hope she will agree to this too.

But if I have to choose between Heidi and Kenny…god this will be difficult.

God, if you love me make it go a way we all can be happy.

Me, the author, points at you, the readers: Will you hear N.K. prayer and make N.K., Heidi, and Kenny canon? Review!   

Next time on Pokemon, I mean, Chinpokemon, no wait, on Friendly Faces Everywhere the thrilling conclusion.

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[ladybender]

wafl new tracks

Shut In mentioned a few songs in her last reply, and i thought i'd write about them and procrastinate thinking about the chapter for a little longer lol

@spaceacepearl @barelyanyswag

Youth - Daughter 

(Shut In confirmed that this is indeed in her WAFL playlist! how amazing, and how incredibly tragic, to have this confirmation)

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone Setting fire to our insides for fun To distract our hearts from ever missing them But I'm forever missing him

Still - Daughter

("for the disintegration of Leela and Lars and the awkward place Fry and Leela find themselves in at the start of the fic." welp, i'm gonna go lay down now)

Still with feet touching Still with eyes meeting Still our hands match Still with hearts beating

Touch - Daughter

(Shut in just said "for Leela", but i keep thinking about Leela pregnant for some reason.)

steal me away with your eyes and with your mouth and just take me back to a room in your house and stare at me with the lights out

All This Time - OneRepublic

(apparently this one will be very important! she said "in a few chapters you'll understand why I was keeping that one up my sleeve. Haha." 👀👀👀!! Also after this, i'm all the more sure something is happening on xmas/new years eve. this song just has that christmassy feel to it, just like River)

All this time We were waiting for each other All this time I was waiting for you

This Year's Love - David Gray

("Leela and Lars, when they first met. We've never actually seen this, but I have a lot of their early relationship in my head. Maybe it'll show up as a side fic someday." 👀👀👀 I'd literally pay to read that!!!)

This year's love had better last Heaven knows it's high time I've been waiting on my own too long And when ya hold me like you do It feels so right oh now

Lie To Me - Greg Laswell 

("early Fry and Leela". another great track for who, like me, loves the affair part of the story)

Go ahead and lie to me, write I love you" while I sleep And hide it for another day to find

I Found - Amber Run 

("Fry and Leela. Leela, especially." this one had me on the floor, not gonna lie)

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be right in front of me Oh, talk some sense to me

The One I Love - David Gray

("Lars. That bookends their relationship." ouch) 

We can twist and shout Do the turtle dove And you're the one I love You're the one I love The one I love

The One I Love, Greg Laswell 

("Fry." how cool is it that Lars and Fry have two songs with the same name for each of them, but the songs have two very separeted mood and meaning, and idk but i'm sad)

And it'll take a flight to figure out where I'm gonna finally land and in the time it takes for me get there I may want to start again

Somebody - Rhodes

(she didn't say anything about this one, but i suspect it is about Lars 😔)

But I don't know who you are I don't know who you are I am not the same anymore Maybe I've gone too far

Taken - Young Summer

(i don't know but i feel like this is about Fry and Leela)

Some things are made yeah they're made To never separate Oh then you're face to face with it You don't hesitate Which one of us will look away

Time, Mikky Ekko 

(i think this is about Fry and Leela, from Fry's side, right where we have him right now, almost home and high as a kite lol, poor dude tho)

Oh, time doesn't love you anymore but I'm still knocking at your door

[ithinkwehitametaphor]

Pedro Pascal Interview from Cosmopolitan Germany 2020 (May 2020)

Interview in German (with photo!) Thanks @whisky-soul for sharing!

Translation by me.

A Date With Pedro Pascal Once a month, chief reporter Melanie Jassner interviews a cool dude. This time it’s Hollywood’s most casual ladiesman.

After the first “Hi, how are you?” it’s obvious why Pedro Pascal is driving everybody crazy at the moment – even when he can’t really be seen in the current Star Wars show “The Mandalorian.” Daft-Punk-like he remains hidden under a helmet in his role, and everybody is pining: “He’s so hot!” His rough, husky voice and his caramba-charisma are to blame. That charisma can be felt through the armor just as well as via Skype (because of the Corona situation an in person meeting is not possible). The man creates an atmosphere of closeness with his humor and openness. Lots of laughter, lots of feeling. The “Narcos” star’s latest movie is also full of emotion. In “Wonder Woman 1984,” the sequel to the super hero movie, he plays self-made mogul / guru Maxwell Lord, whose life motto is: “Take what you want! You deserve it!” Does Pedro Pascal tick similarly?

Are you a greedy person?

Only when it’s about fries. As soon as my own greed harms others, I’m out.

What is something you’d like to have more of?

Patience. I’m a very restless person. But at least I know that this is my big weakness.

What do you have a small weakness for?

Women that like to eat cheeseburgers and drink beer – like Gal Gadot after filming.

And isn’t that how we imagine Wonder Woman after work. Who is your [female] superhero?

My older sister, Javiera. We are four siblings. But because my brothers are 12 and 17 years younger than me, I spent the first chapter of my life with my sister. I admired her so much that I always competed for her attention. I think sometimes I drove her crazy with that.

What would you be like today without your sister?

A lot less cool. Everything that defines life I learnt from her, the good and bad things both. Even today we phone each other daily. I keep in such close contact with all my siblings.

Does that mean one marries your whole family?

Yes. A woman would have to be okay with the fact that the whole gang is pretty much of a presence in our shared life. Family first, no matter what.

Your Instagram account is called @pascalispunk. Does that mean one would have to contend with a punk or what exactly would one have to deal with?

With my sense of humor. How do they say: “If you can’t cry, laugh!” When I want to make somebody laugh, I like to make a fool of myself. I think humor is the essence of our lives. That and dancing. Oh no, that reminds me how I was at a bar with my friends and couldn’t stop crying…

What happened?

Prince happened. Prince is my biggest icon from the 80s. Purple Rain is my favorite song. Ever since Prince died, I can’t listen to the song in public without crying. And then they played it at the bar. I just said: “I think I can’t do this yet,” and then the tears started flowing…

What else makes you emotional?

I’m very nostalgic, lately. I don’t know if that’s a small midlife crisis. Maybe filming “Wonder Woman 1984” pushed me back too far into the 80s. As a child everything was new and exciting… I don’t live in the past but looking back, diving into that time, makes me emotional.

Your movie character takes what he wants. Because he thinks he deserves it. Did you ever ask yourself: “Why do I deserve this?”

In fact I’m thinking about that a lot because I’m from a family of immigrants. I was born in Chile and when I was one year old we fled [because of Pinochet]. We were in Denmark for about a year, then we went to the US where I grew up. But until today I have this feeling that I don’t deserve this.

In what way does this feeling influence your life?

It has become my life motto. Not to strife to own something but to give my best. The good thing is if you continue to work on something, you have a big chance for success. That way acting turned from wishful thinking into a career for me. The downside is if you focus too much on one thing you don’t develop any other abilities. You lose the chance to do something else.

What else would you like to try job-wise?

I’d like to be there more for other people. I imagine I could be a grief counsellor or a nurse. That has been in my head for quite a while. Maybe it’s also just wishful thinking because my job feels like it revolves only around me.

Which movie challenged you exceptionally?

Physically, “Kingsman” was a bitch. My back will probably never be the same. As far as “Wonder Woman” is concerned, I can happily announce that the action was in the hands of a woman.

So that means a woman saved you from getting hurt?

Exactly.

When did you last think: I need a Wonder Woman in real life?

Today. Tomorrow, yesterday, the day before yesterday. Lately, every day. We all need a Wonder Woman more than ever. There are so many strong women. We just need to give them more power. In Germany the chancellor is a woman, you are a role model in this respect.

Reader Question:

Dear Pedro Pascal, what was baby Yoda really like?

One of my best co-workers so far.

[shewillreadyou]

Me before You: Chapter 2- For Real

As always. I hope that you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

A/N: This is a TRR AU. Liam is already married, but see’s Riley and wants his cake. If the readers are receptive this might turn into more than a mini series.

Disclaimers: Most characters are property of Pixelberry

Warnings: Language, adult content, mild sexual innuendo. 

Word Count: 2458

Catch up: Haven’t met you Yet

Prompts: @theworldofprompts​ 

“Name one thing you regret in life?”  

“Well, for starters, I married you.” will appear in BOLD.

Pairings: Drake & Riley

Song inspiration: For Real- Amel Larrieux

Be Kind: Hit the heart button, leave a comment or reblog. It makes a writer so so happy. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may salute your bride.”

Savannah and her groom shared a modest kiss. 

“It is my pleasure to present to you for the very first time the Duke and Duchess of Ramsford. Bertrand and Savannah Beaumont of Cordonia.”

“Cordonia?” Riley whispered to herself.

“So I’m not crazy. Drake said he is from Cordonia. The Liam look-alike could really be King Liam of Cordonia. The matron of honor could actually be Queen Carsyn. This is insane.” 

Her thoughts raced as she tried to make connections. 

“There will be a cocktail hour in the barn,” an older woman announced.

The barn was decorated in a rustic theme, Tim McGraw’s, “I like it, I love it” played in the background and there were servers with appetizers everywhere. Quickly, lines formed for the open bars. Mack held on to Riley’s arm as they waited.

“So let me get this straight? The guy you met in New York, was Drake? Drake Walker? Like Savannah’s brother Drake? No fucking way. The world is not that small.”

“Yeah, apparently it is, he is the man I saw at the airport, the guy from the bar, the guy I’ve been texting and now he’s here.”

“Sounds like fate.”

“I don’t know if I believe in fate. More like dumb luck.”

“Miss Riley?” a server interrupts their conversation. 

“For you and your guest.”

He offers a whiskey sour and an old fashion, the signature drink to she and Mack.

“Compliments of Mr. Walker. My name is Caleb, I have been personally assigned to you for the duration of the evening. You don’t need to wait in lines. I can bring you whatever you need to eat or drink.”

“Wow, well thank you Caleb. That’s very thoughtful.” 

She tries to tip Caleb and he refuses. 

“No thank you Ma’am. Mr. Walker has already compensated me handsomely. Please let me know if there is anything else I can get for you.”

Later

The wedding party joins the guests in the barn before the bride and groom have their first dance. Riley watched from her assigned seat wondering who would end up seated next to her. The seat went empty for the first part of the afternoon. 

“That was a beautiful ceremony. You know, I have seen pictures and heard tons of stories about Drake from Savannah, but he has really grown up. He is a hottie.”

“He’s ok.”

“Wow, just ok? Huh? I’m wounded.” he says in a raspy voice. 

“Drake!”

Mack and Riley blush furiously.

“Raye. It’s good to see you again.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” she smirked.

“Sorry! Drake, this is Mackenzie, Mack this is Savannah’s brother Drake.”  

“Don’t listen to her. She was definitely pleasantly surprised,” Mack said as she extended her hand for Drake to kiss. 

Riley elbowed Mack and Drake laughed as he shook her hand. 

“Good thing I get the honor of keeping you company tonight. My seat was moved next to yours.”

He smiled and Riley’s heart melted just a little bit more. He leaned over to hug her and she immediately flashed back to their dance on the rooftop. 

After their first dance, all the guests were invited to the dance floor. “At Last” by Etta James started to play.

“May I have this dance? And please don’t tell me that your feet still hurt.”

She stood, unsure of what to do in the presence of royalty.

“Your Majesty, we have to stop meeting this way. Shouldn’t you be dancing with your Queen?”

Before he could answer, Drake slipped up behind Riley snaking his strong arm around her waist. Pulling her into his embrace.

“Beat it Li!”

“Miss me yet?” 

“Perfect timing. Small world. You didn’t say that your Mom and sister lived so close to me.”

“I didn’t think it was pertinent information at the time,” he said as he led her in a slow dance. Riley watched Queen Carsyn over Drakes shoulder, as she shot daggers at King Liam. 

“Is he always like that?”

“What?”

“Liam? Is he always so tactless?”

“I’m not at liberty to comment,” he chuckles.

“Question asked, question answered.”

“Enough about Liam. Have I mentioned how stunning you look?”

“No, but thanks for the compliment anyway.”

She smiled, getting lost in his eyes as they swayed to the music.  

After sitting and watching Drake and Riley dance and flirt for hours Mack was about ready to go.

“Ri, I’m about ready to head out.”

“Riley reluctantly said her goodbyes to Drake, not knowing when she’d see him again. 

After a short drive back to her place they arrived to see a red Jeep sitting idle in front of her door waiting. Riley looked at Mack and shrugged her shoulders. When she had said goodnight to her friend, she headed to the door. The window of the Jeep lowered, “Hey, could you tell me where to get something good to eat in this neighborhood?” 

“Drake! What-- how did you know where I lived?”

“Guestbook.”

“Well, that isn’t creepy at all.” 

“I’m hungry and thought you might be hungry too.” 

“So, where to?”

“I don’t know, I have only been here a few weeks.”

“I know a place.”

Drake gets out of the truck and walks around waving at Mack, who is still watching from her car. He opens the door for Riley and grabs her by the waist helping her into the truck.

“Really? Such a gentleman.”

He smiles as he heads back around. Mack lowers her window and says, “I took a picture of your license plates just in case she doesn’t make it back.”

“Noted.”

“Thank you. So where are we going?”

“Whataburger. I can’t get that in Cordonia.”

“What the what?”

“You’ll love it, promise and it’s on me. Seat belt.”

“Let me ask you a question?”

“Just one?”

“God no, I have a million questions.”

“Ok, I will try my best to answer them.”

She thinks of what she wants to ask first.

“What did you honestly think when you saw me today?”

“That I am not this lucky.”

A blush crept across her face as she awkwardly shifted in the seat.

“Why do you live in Cordonia if your Mom and Sister are here?”

“Work is there. Besides, I have never had a good reason to come back.”

“I see.”

 Her face betrayed her, she was feeling conflicted and defeated and it showed. They drove along the dark road quietly for a few minutes.

“So, uh, you must do important work in Cordonia for you to stay there instead of here with your family.”

“If you want to know what I do for a living Raye, just ask.”

“You told me not to and I respect your wishes.”

“Well, some would consider it important. My family won’t be here for long, Sav and my nephew are moving to Cordonia this week. I’m the lead for the King’s Guard.”

“You mean you protect Liam?”

“Yeah,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck.

Just then they pulled into the parking lot. The line in the drive thru was long so they headed inside. He held the door open for her and when they stood in front of the counter he stood directly behind her as they both looked up at the menu. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms when he noticed her shiver. 

“Cold?”

“Yeah, a little. Also, overwhelmed with this menu. Order for me?”

A mischievous grin crept across his face as he placed his suit coat around her shoulders. 

After an hour of probing conversation, many laughs, and eating a deliciously greasy burger, heavenly fries with as Drake called it “fancy fucking ketchup,” they headed back to her place. 

“Drake, I’m not ready for tonight to end,” she confessed.

“I know the feeling.”

“Come upstairs with me?”

“Riley Elizabeth Raye! What kind of guy do you think I am?”

“The kind who steals people’s personal information out of wedding guest books.” 

“Checkmate.”

“Besides, I have had these shoes on since this morning. My feet! Anyway, we can watch a movie and chat for a little while.”

“I have been told I give a mean foot massage.”

“Are you offering?”

He licks his lips and bites his lips. Her center twitched.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what? Why are you looking at me like you want to climb in my lap?

Her cheeks flushed red.

“You wish.”

“Enough about that, let’s talk about our first real date.”

“Who said I wanted to date a guy with no real reason to come to Dallas?”

“Whoa, that was before.”

They headed up to her apartment. He stood so close to her in the elevator that she could feel his body heat. They had a staring contest that she lost. She definitely looked away first. It was like he was staring into her soul. The sexual tension was thick and she felt relieved when the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. 

“Long distance dating is not exactly something I want to pursue.”

“Understandable. I’m here now. Let me take you out tomorrow.”

“What would that look like?”

“Dallas Jazz fest is tomorrow.”

“And you just happened to know that off the top of your head?”

“I might have done some research on my phone when I learned that a certain lady whom I’d like to impress was within my grasp.”

She chortled, “you like jazz?”

“No, but if I get to spend time with you it can’t be that bad.”

“You’d do that for me?”

They step inside her place and he makes a face. 

“What is it?”

“Your place smells exactly like I expected, fruity.”

She invites Drake to sit as she kicks her shoes off. She moves around the counter and opens the fridge grabbing a couple bottles of water, a bottle of Glenmorangie, and a couple glasses. 

“Raye, this is the good stuff. It’s really expensive. Sure you’re sharing?”

“Completely, pour me one too? Be right back,” she says as she headed into her bedroom to change and freshen up.

When she returned, Drake cleared his throat at the sight of her barely there clothing change. 

They settled on the soft couch as Drake passed her the tumbler of whiskey he poured for her. She eyed the drink as he stared at her. 

“What are you looking at?”

“Your umm, outfit? Comfy?”

“Yes. Very. Should I drink this? I didn’t see you pour it.”

“Good grief, switch with me.” Drake says before raising his glass.

“Cheers, to the best reason I ever had to come back to the States.”

She bit her lip trying to contain her smile.

“Well then, after a toast like that you get to pick the movie.”

She later regretted being so generous. Drake chose FACE OFF. They started off good, he pulled her aching feet into his lap and rubbed them until she was sure she would orgasm. She pulled away crossing her legs in a twisted attempt to save her panties. 

She loved the movie but knew she couldn’t get through any of the scenes when they ran their hands down the others face to wordlessly say, I love you. So as much as she tried she sat with tears running down her face for much of the movie. The first time she cried Drake pretended to ignore it. She wiped her face on her. The next time she cried he looked at her with a raised eyebrow and the final time he pulled her into his arms and wiped her tears.

“You definitely get to pick a movie that won’t make you cry next time.”

“Next time? You really want to go out with me, huh?”

“I thought that was clear by now.”

  “Drake, can I be honest?”

“I’d prefer it.”

“I have never dated a white guy before.”

He feigned shock. Then laughed. 

“We have that in common because I haven't either. Is that all?”

“No, I didn’t expect to like you this much.”

“Have you dated a black woman before?”

“No.”

“Are you ready for family and friends to turn their backs on you? For strangers to shoot us dirty looks in public? For all of the things that come along with dating me?”

“I guess I never really thought about it. But I’d like to think that it would be a small price to pay to be with you.”

 They chatted until they both fell asleep. The sunrise plucked him from his slumber. She had fallen asleep in his arms. He watched her for a few moments fighting the urge to kiss her. He untangled himself from her and used her restroom. When he returned, she was awake. 

“I thought you finally came to your senses and left.”

“I don’t scare easily. I’m headed back to the ranch. I’ll pick you up around 6pm.”

She stood and they shared a long embrace as she secretly sniffed him trying to memorize his smell before she let him out.

Back at the ranch

“You stayed out all night. Did you get some trim?”

“No.”

Figures. You wouldn’t know what to do with all that ass anyway.

“And you do?” Carsyn interjects.

“Carsyn, I didn’t realize you were back from your morning run.”

“I knew that you wanted to fuck her. I saw the way you were looking at her at the wedding.”

Drake stands, “This seems like a personal conversation. Call me later Li.”

Liam shakes his head and turns to his wife. 

“You are always making a big deal out of nothing. I have given you everything. You knew who I was before you married Me. You are the queen. Why are you so insecure?”

Tears filled her eyes. 

“Name one thing you regret in life?”  “Well, for starters, I married you.”

Liam stormed out of the room to find Drake in the hall on the phone with Riley. When Drake sees Liam he ends the call.

“Drake Walker. Your nose is open. I know you think you like her but, do you really want to start seeing a black woman? They can be a lot.”

“Don’t be an ass Li, any woman can be a lot. But it’s different with her. She is so chill. Like it’s easy with her.” 

“If it’s so easy, why didn’t you close?”

“I said that it’s easy to be with her. Not that she was easy you, prick.”

“Just be careful Drake. You know what they say… Once you go black…”

“Li! For fucks sake.”

“I’m just saying. I’m going out tonight so if you need a trial run Carsyn will be here alone.”

“Did you just give me permission to fuck your wife?”

“Sure, everyone knows I’m not.”

“Hard pass.”

@txemrn​​​ @pixie88​​​ @secretaryunpaid​​​@khoicesbyk​​​ @blackkingliamstan​​​ @mom2000aggie​​​ @shannonwrote​​​ @hopelessromanticmonie​​​ @fanjessfic​​​ @rideordiechronicles​​​ @lucy-268​​​ @dcbbw​​​ @darley1101​​​ @maurine07​​​​ @sfb123​​​ @bbrandy2002​​​ @kingliam2019​​​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​​​ @lem-20​​​ @choicesficwriterscreations​​​​ @theworldofprompts​​ @no-one-u-know​​

TRR: @twinkleallnight​​​  @bebepac​​​ @mainstreetreader​​​ @romereadingshop​​​ @romewritingshop​​​ @lem-20​​​ @texaskitten30​​

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

[as-the-stars-foretold]

Misconceptions

Achilles Come Down song fic, The Pandava Chronicles

~ ~ ~

You're scaring us

And all of us

Some of us love you

Achilles, it's not much but there's proof

Aru stood at the edge of the cliff. She wasn't going to jump, of course not. She was too much of a coward to do that. A humorless chuckle escaped her. A coward. That's all she was, really. A coward. She was pressured into lighting the lamp by her classmates, she couldn't finish her... father when she needed to, she couldn't even tell the truth properly. What kind of heroine was she, if she was so... unheroic? Distantly she heard Mini telling her to be careful, that she was too close to the edge. She would be careful, maybe. And maybe she was too close to the edge. The edge of what, she doesn't know.

. . .

You crazy assed cosmonaut

Remember your virtue

Redemption lies plainly in truth

Mini had never been one to lie or hide the truth, despite her working with shadows. But sometimes, sometimes it was better to stay quiet. So she did, letting them do what they wanted to. It's not like anyone listened to her anyway. Even if they did, would they respect her? No, likely not. With a sigh, she walked over to her sister who had nicked herself, doing what she always did. What she always would do.

. . .

The self is not so weightless

Nor whole and unbroken

Remember the pact of our youth

Brynne panted, shielding her working sisters from the oncoming mob of demons. This was her purpose wasn't it? Be the muscle of the group, that she could do. But she wanted to do something more. Could she though? The fleeting thought, that little bit of doubt shook her out of her reverie, rattling her to her core. Of course she could, she was strong! She could do anything she wanted to.

Where you go

I'm going

So jump and I'm jumping

Since there is no me without you

Aiden stood next to her, gaze flitting to meet hers. He always seemed to know what she was thinking. It was scary, almost. Fascinating, but scary. "Careful, Bee. We're not unbreakable, and you know I'm going down with you. Remember our promise?"

"I... I remember."

. . .

So self-indulgent

And self-referential

No audience could ever want you

You crave the applause

Yet hate the attention

Then miss it, your act is a ruse

Rudy was a lot of things. Some would say selfish. Some would say annoying. Some would say over the top. Sure, he may have been all of those things. But what they didn't know was that he craved something else. Something no amount of money, fame, or persuasion could get you. Something you had to work for, and work to keep. Something he didn't have and never would.

He craved being wanted, being needed. But he had yet to learn you couldn't have everything you wanted. And so, the snake prince tried desperately to prove himself. All to no avail.

. . .

It's chaos, confusion

And wholly unworthy

Of feeding and it's wholly untrue

Nikita called upon thorns to skewer the enemies and vines to strangle them, beautiful but deadly flowers to poison them. She could do all of that, of course she could! It was a dance, a beautiful one of gore and death. She was known for beauty, after all. And yet... and yet a seedling of doubt planted itself in her heart. But it couldn't grow unless she watered it... right?

You may feel no purpose

Nor a point for existing

It's all just conjecture and gloom

Sheela knew too much. Far, far too much for a girl her age. Barely eleven, and yet she carries the weight of the future upon her. Sheela was the Atlas of the new age, the bearing the burden no one else could. It drove her insane, really. Her only purpose was to give the prophecies wasn't it? And then she'd be thrown away, discarded by everyone once she fulfilled her purpose. The future was foggy, shadowy, but heavy nonetheless. And quite the burden for her to carry. But alas, what could she do? They were all bound by the chains of fate, after all.

. . .

You want the acclaim

The mother of mothers (it's not worth it Achilles)

More poignant than fame

Or the taste of another (don't listen Achilles)

But be real and just jump

You dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles)

You will not be more

Than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)

You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion)

My opinion you've got

You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts)

I gave you my thoughts

Be done with this now

And jump off the roof

Can you hear me Achilles?

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

Achilles come down

Achilles come down

They each felt so alone, so wrapped up and suffocated by their own struggles. In times like these, they forget that they aren't alone. That they have each other, and must rely on one another to succeed. But those lessons are hard to learn, and even harder to take to heart. But they must, for if they don't, the results could be worse than anyone had ever known.

. . .

Throw yourself into the unknown

With pace and a fury defiant

Clothe yourself in beauty untold

And see life as a means to a triumph

Today of all days

See

How the most dangerous thing is to love

How you will heal and you'll rise above

Crowned by an overture bold and beyond

Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

They stood side by side on the battle field, shoulder to shoulder. They'd win this war, together. It was a hard journey for all of them. Fights and mishaps, pain and understanding. All of it happened, but they stuck together nonetheless. And they'd be together one last time.

[amarantine-amirite]

It's Not Up To You

I never once had any peace or rest. There was a persistent threat that resources and places would vanish without a trace. Even though I never got my ass handed to me daily, I could never anticipate when I would be able to catch my breath.  

I had to adapt. I had to be able to alter my expectations faster than the circumstances would change. It forced me to abandon having a set image of what I want in my mind. It took away my ability to visualize. I had to anticipate resources disappearing in the future, so I had a hard time with long-term planning.  

Going into the week, I had it all figured out. I had found an iron-clad way for me to have my cake and eat it too. It may not have been ideal, but at least I still had the resources available.

My mother planned to drive me to my piano concert. Because she had a stressful day at work yesterday, she went to the bar. She neither came home nor returned any of my calls, so I assumed she was either crazy hungover or still passed out. I now had to hitch a ride with Jackie and her sister, Henrietta.  

Henrietta drove like she had lead feet. “Uh, Ettie,” Jackie asked, “you just blew through a traffic light at” 

“Don’t tell me how fast I’m going; I need to know where I am!” she snapped. 

“Can we at least stop and get lunch?” I asked. I last ate at 7:00 AM. Bad things happen when I try to function on an empty stomach. My temper gets worse. My impulse control goes to Hell. I bounce off the walls.  

“Hell, no!” Henrietta snarled, “If we stop to eat, we’ll get stuck in a traffic snarl!”

“OK, what’s your problem?” I whined. I had no idea why Henrietta got so upset. 

Henrietta sighed angrily. “Do you wanna know why I’m so fucking pissed off?" she barked, "Those fuckers moved up my fucking interview by a fucking week. I was supposed to get married today! All that money I spent on the venue, the photographer, the catering; that’s money I’m never going to see again!” 

I don’t know how Henrietta could say that without bursting into tears. “And what about Jasper? He’s going to think I broke off the wedding because I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I’m worried. He doesn’t handle rejection well. What if he tries to kill himself again?” 

What happened next felt like being in the desert and coming upon an oasis, only to discover it’s a mirage. When we arrived at our destination, everything went up in smoke. Before we left, Henrietta told me that she would drop us off first, then head to the interview. She looked at us and said, “Nobody's leaving until I finish my interview. Understand?” 

I nodded. Inside, I wanted to smack her. Hard.

Today has been nothing but hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. I fucking hate being jerked around like this. The constant stop-and-start made me feel like someone drained of my life force. I can’t deal with it anymore. 

Jackie and I came up with a plan. The plan was simple, like Henrietta’s would-be husband, Jasper. Unlike Jasper, the plan stood a chance of working. When they let her in to do the interview, Jackie and I would duck out and go to my piano concert. We’d come back when I finished my set, and that’d be that.

Problem. We made a huge tactical error. 

It’s a long story. At the beginning of the school year, the cheerleaders thought it would be funny to nominate Anna Rose, the head of the chess club, for prom queen as a joke. Anna didn’t know about this, but the principal did. On Halloween night, we got something really scary in our inboxes: an official email with the school's letterhead saying that due to “bullying", prom would be permanently cancelled until measurable snowfall in July. A lot of the anxieties that kids channel into what they’re going to do at their prom got redirected elsewhere. 

The kids at school got offended. By everything. Like, a lot.

Remember how I said that school has been so hard for me because I have no idea what to expect? Well, this piano concert thing was a perfect example. I had to make a list of not just one song, but for possible songs that I could play at this concert. I need to be ready to switch out songs in case the band teacher changed his mind. He always did stuff like that. One day, you could pick whatever song you wanted for school concerts, and the next, they would say that it had to come from a pre-approved list. So that meant I had no idea what song I was going to play. When people asked me, the best I could say was, "I’ve got a lineup." Lineup was not a good choice of words; a better choice of words would have been revolving door .

This brings us to our mistake: the same reason that I had to keep a revolving door of songs in my mind for the concert was also the same reason why we should have called the hotel where the concert was to be held ahead of time to double-check to see if the school had not cancelled it. We did not do that.

That brings us to right now. We are smack dab in the middle of what appears to be a campus recruitment event. Everyone in the room except for us is wearing cheap suits that fit somebody else, nobody looks familiar, and the atmosphere consists of a general air of anxiety and lack of preparedness.

Five minutes after we arrived, a woman wearing a pantsuit that made her look like a pool table, pineapple earrings, and a name tag that read “Megan Mulroney“ approached us. “Excuse me, ladies," she said, “are you students at The Fletcher School?”

“No, we go to Arthur Vandelay high school," Jackie said, “I’m here with Margaret because she’s got a piano concert to go to.” 

I stood up and looked at Megan. “So is that in the Gold room, because I got a copy of the flyer here and it says Hall B, and I don’t know where that is, and…”

Megan cut us off. “I don't know what you’re talking about,” she said.

I handed Megan the flyer. “I’m talking about this.”

She didn’t look at the flyer. She gave it right back to me. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but that’s a piece of blank paper." 

“It’s not blank!” I chirped. 

“Yes, it is; and I don’t appreciate you wasting my time like this.“

“We’re not wasting your time.”

“Well then, why am I dealing with two overdressed high school idiots when I have new grads to check in for a networking event?” she said, doing her best impression of a bratty 12-year-old.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

Megan shrugged at us and rolled her eyes in a cocky fashion. “I'm not stubborn all the time. I'm only stubborn when I’m right.” 

Big red flag. If someone says I'm only stubborn when I'm right , it means they're putting up a front, either because they don't want to but they're wrong or they're trying to bullshit you. 

She continued to puff herself out. “Listen, you’re not special. What happens to you happens to other people, too.”

“Not helpful,” I said as I rolled my eyes.  

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, sorry you feel that way.”

“What does that even mean?” I blurted.  

She ignored us. Rather than explain what was going on, she instead attempted to have phone sex with Idris Elba and got the wrong number.

It didn’t stop there. One look out the window told me we’d have to get someone else to pick us up, as Henrietta got arrested. I’m guessing she found out that the job she applied for was posted as an April Fool’s Day joke and she either trashed the office or beat the crap out of the hiring manager. Based on the black eye, I think it was the second thing. 

Terrific. Now we have no plan, no ride home, and no idea what the fuck is supposed to happen next. 

I’m devastated. I feel gutted. But beyond that, I'm spooked.

This isn't something you'd consider typically scary. It felt like that last photo taken before a disaster. This looming sense that something catastrophic is coming down the pike continues to hang over me.

@writers-are-writers

[spidernerdsblog]

Love Is The Biggest Spell : Chapter Four

A/N : Chapter four is here. I know I'm late with the updates blame it on my lazy ass. A near death experience and a heartbreak triggers the witchy side of yours as the day of you getting back your powers approaches near. Hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome. Happy Halloween!

Pairing : Warlock Tom Holland x half mortal reader

Summary : Witches are forbidden to fall in love with mortals. But what if your long lost love returns to you as a mortal, can you defy your heart? Any spell any magic seems useless in front of the magic of love. Let's join our lovers in their magical conquest beyond life and death as they fight for their love unravelling dark mysteries of the past along their way.

Warnings : just witchy stuff.

Mini Playlist : Secret love by Little Mix

The song ended and you were brought back to reality. You slipped away from Tom's embrace averting your gaze.

“I think I'm drunk enough for today.” You smiled awkwardly face flushed red. 

"Yeah, you should go home now it's already quite late. I can drop you if you want." He offered. 

"No it's fine I can go with Jane."

"Okay then goodbye."

"Yeah goodbye and be safe." he cautioned. 

"Yeah I will." Giving him a tight lipped smile you went to the counter where Jane was sitting and watching you both the whole time. 

"That didn't look like your boyfriend." Jane quipped. 

"Shut up" you scoffed. 

"Where is he by the way?" 

"Probably drunk somewhere. Can we go now?" you paid for your drinks and headed back to your home. You both walked down the street giggling while gossiping about your life problems.

“You know you can’t string along to both of them, you have to let one of them go.” Jane said out of nowhere.

“I'm not stringing along anybody.” 

“Yes you're Cole has always been your backup plan if things didn't turn out well with your other flings. Think about it carefully Y/N. Stop wasting your time in a relationship that has no love in it” You listened to her quietly because it was true you were confused and had no idea what to do. You reached the crossroad from where one path leads to Jane’s house and the other to yours it was time for you both to say goodbye.

"See you tomorrow at the shop. Give me a call when you reach home" Jane said

"Yeah bye." You waved her a goodbye and continued walking. The road to your home brushed past a short stretch of the mystic forest. It was quite late so the road was pretty isolated. It may appear a little scary for the weak of heart but the dark never scares you. You enjoyed it's mysterious anonymity. But tonight it was different because tonight someone was waiting for you, hiding behind the veil of darkness lurking around those huge trees with your death sentence. 

"There she is. She does look like Amber." Laura remarks. 

"She is Amber, Laura." Angourie rolls her eyes. 

"Let’s finish the job we came for shall we?" Zendaya said with a menacing look in her eyes. Three of them held on to each other’s hands and chanted the incantation closing their eyes. 

"Vos omnes ministri odey et destructiones et seratore discorde. Et qui libiter opera facitis et tractibus, quod eat noce. Vos conjurae idec nos conjuo et odit fiat mier alve, Y/N." 

"Coming back in a mortal's body, poor choice Amber." Zendaya tsked sighing. 

"Let's see how many days this weak body of yours can sustain." She gave a devilish grin. The spell started doing it's job as you suddenly started to feel a little dizzy, stumbling a little while walking but you somehow managed to reach your home. Next day you weren’t still feeling any better but went to the cafe anyway. 

"You look like shit, everything ok?" Jane quipped pointing at your tired appearance. 

"Yeah I’m fine just a mild headache, still a little hungover I guess." You said busy wiping the counter. 

"So what’s the plan for Halloween?" 

"What are we five that we will go trick or treating?" 

"No but you are turning 25." Jane reminded you. 

"I don’t know, I just don’t feel like celebrating, birthdays have become really boring for me." You shrugged. 

"Hey girls." Your two new regular customers walked in with a jovial smile on their faces. 

"Hey," you said weakly. 

Jane and Harrison went for a kiss which soon turned into a passionate one. 

"Ugh! Guys get a room." You scrunch your face disgusted. They pull away laughing. 

“This is exactly how I felt when I used to be stuck between you and Cole.” Jane giggled. You scoffed rolling your eyes.

"So what’s up?" Harrison chirped 

"Nothing just that our girl is turning 25 this Halloween and she’s been a buzzkill because she doesn’t want to celebrate it." 

"Your birthday is on Halloween?" Tom's eyes lit up. 

"Fascinating isn't it? The spookiest birthday one could imagine."

"It's indeed special and this year there is going to be a blood moon on the night of Halloween which occurs every 25 years." 

"There’s still time for my birthday guys and before that we have our decade dance at the college. And the theme is the good old 90's" you sighed with content. 

"Yeah the minimalist era, quite liberating." Harrison agreed. Meanwhile Jane noticed something as she looked at you with a worried face. 

"Y/N your nose, it's bleeding." Tom and Harrison's attention shifted to you. 

"What?" You raised your finger and swiped it near your nose to find blood on it. 

"Are you okay?" Jane placed her hand on your shoulder with concern.

"Yeah I guess so."

"Wait let me see." Tom cradled your face with his large calloused palms surprising you with his sudden move. 

"Did something like this happen to you before?"

"Not that I remember." You looked at him totally weirded out. He let go of you, realizing that he was making you uncomfortable. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired and sleepy." You closed your eyes, holding your head sighing.

"I think you should go home and take some rest. We can drive you home." 

"No it's fine I'll be ok." 

"Y/N don't be stubborn Tom is right, I'm here I can handle it for today."

"Okay let me go and change then." You went back to the store Jane accompanied you. Tom turned to Harrison. 

"It's a blood curse." 

"But who did this?" 

"There's only one who I know is capable of doing this actually three." Tom ticked his jaw frowning. 

"We need to break the curse or she will grow weaker."

"A regimen of salt water baths and reversing candles over the course of a couple weeks would do the trick. But the problem is she doesn't believe in these things and will think we are crazy."

"Then we have to find someone whom she will listen to without saying a word.''

"It has to be her mother. Haz once we take her home whenever you get the chance use compulsion on Mrs. Warren and compel her to  persuade Y/N to follow the ritual. I know it's wrong but we don't have any other option."

You walked out changed from your uniform to your normal clothes Jane was holding you. 

"C'mon love I got you." Tom wrapped his arm around your shoulder and took you to his car. He made you sit in the back seat then he sat beside you. You leaned your head on his shoulder closing your eyes as Harrison drove the car. The whole drive Tom had his hand wrapped around you in a comforting manner as he frowned deeply with concern in his eyes. Reaching your house he helped you get out of the car and carried you inside. 

"Oh my God! What happened?'' your mother panicked. 

"She wasn't feeling well." Tom informed. 

"Take her to her room." she ordered. 

"Sure Mrs. Warren." Tom carried you to your room. 

"Sorry but who are you guys?" Martha directed her question to Harrison. Before he could think of an answer Erica answered for him.

"They are Y/N's new classmates, aunt I have already met the other one you weren’t here that time."

"Oh I see thank you for bringing her safely back home."

"Oh no need to thank us she is our friend it's our duty to look after her."

Tom made you lay down on your bed tucking you inside your blanket and gently stroked your forehead as you fell asleep. After making sure that you were sleeping soundly Tom got up and went to your bathroom and dipped his hand in the water of the bathtub swirling it in a circular motion and chanted. 

"If truly she is cursed today, let water wash the hex away. If truly she is cursed today, let water wash the hex away.'' 

He stepped out of your bathroom  and saw Harrison standing beside your bed. 

"Job done." Harrison reported to Tom. 

"Yeah I also enchanted the water now only she needs to take a bath as soon as she wakes up." 

"I think we should go for now."

"Yeah I also have some unfinished business to attend." Tom looked at you for one last time placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

"You will be as bright as the sunshine tomorrow, my love. I'll never let any harm come your way in future." Saying that he left with Harrison. 

"I’m not leaving them so easily Haz. They are going to pay for what they did to Y/N." Tom grumbled while he searched for a perfect spot in the forest to execute his plan. 

It was around evening Laura was strolling in the forest. An eerie silence prevailed; only the distant calls of coyotes could be heard in short intervals. Tom and Harrison were hiding behind the trees waiting for Laura to approach the exact spot where they wanted her to be and the moment she was at the spot. 

"Abi in malem cursem." Tom muttered.

"Aaaahh!!!" Laura screamed in pain as she felt something pierce her foot holding her to the ground the more she struggled to set free the more it hurted and blood came gushing out her foot. Tom and Harrison appeared from behind the trees.

"Tom what the heaven!! Why are you doing this to me?" Laura cried out in pain.

"You know very well why!" He barked.

"We did what was needed to be done, that half breed doesn't deserve to be alive. She's a disgrace to our community."

"If she doesn't deserve to live then so do you!" Tom focused on the trap which doubled up the pain making Laura scream on the top of her lungs. 

"Tom let go of my sister!" Zendaya yelled panting as she came running to her rescue.

"Give me one good reason for not doing the same to you." he spat. 

"Tom have you gone out of your mind! You will go against your own kind for a mortal?" 

"You know very well what I'm capable of Z which includes draining every ounce of blood from Laura's body."

"The coven will not spare you."

"So will you for trying to kill an innocent girl and you know the punishment Z."

"You're not gonna do that, are you? She asked in disbelief because in spite of the sour relationship with the mortals the coven had set rules against hurting innocent humans. 

"Oh I might take this matter to father but I have a better offer. Let's make a deal I leave her and you have to do what I say." 

"What do you want me to do?" 

"You are in position to question Z. Just say yes or no."

"Okay fine, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Now let her go." 

"Good." 

Tom mumbled a reversing spell which set Laura free from the trap. She collapsed on the ground holding her foot Zendaya ran to her aid. 

"And stay away from Y/N because next time I will not be this generous." he warned and turned to leave. 

"You are making a grave mistake Tom trying to protect that weakling.'' 

"That’s none of your business Z.'' 

After you woke up your mother under Harrison’s compulsion made you complete the curse removal ritual, you were now sitting in your bathtub body dipped in salt water surrounded by numerous scented candles with an utterly bored expression on your face.

"I'm never going to get drunk again." You muttered to yourself picking up an extinguished candle in your hand from beside you. You zoned out eyes trained on the wick of the candle and suddenly the candle caught fire, you snapped out of your daze as the flame flared in its intensity. 

"Holy shit!!" you shrieked dropping the candle in the water panicking. You blinked a few times holding on to your head. You tried to convince yourself that you were just tired and seeing things as you got out of the water hurriedly. 

..............

The next day you were fresh as a daisy, full of energy. You went to visit your dad at the registrar in the morning. 

"Hey dad what's up?" 

"Nothing peanut just editing and stuff with the articles." 

"Can I help?" 

"Yeah sure why not this is all gonna be yours after a few years anyways." You sat on a chair and started arranging the articles in order. 

"This case is really blowing my mind though!" Fred blew out his cheeks in agony pacing back and forth in the room. . 

"What case?" you frowned. 

"These." He placed some police investigation reports on the table in front of you. You examined each of the reports. 

"People going missing in mystic woods, what's so tricky in this?" 

"Observe the pattern of the incidents it's always once in a month and the place of disappearance all near the Runeshire winery which are jointly owned by the Holland's and Osterfield's. I suspect they have something to do with these missing people."

"Holland as in Tom Holland?" you questioned him. 

"Yeah how do you know him?" 

"He is in my class." 

"What?!" 

"Yeah he and his best friend Harrison joined our college a few weeks back. But they seem to be really good guys."

"Appearances can sometimes be deceiving, always remember that Y/N."

"If only I could get access inside their estate and try to find some evidence." He mumbled. 

"I can do it for you. I have books to return to him anyways." You offered. 

"Honey they are kind of shady. I can't allow you to go there all by yourself."

"I'll be fine dad. Tom is a good friend of mine and I trust him. And I also believe they have nothing to do with these cases. But for your satisfaction let me go and check they will not suspect anything if I go so just tell me what I need to do." and as per your father's instruction you were now standing in front of the Holland's residence. 

Ivy and ferns grew through the crevices of the old winding stone path, which led directly to the colossal structure. The mansion loomed proudly behind creaky iron gates, flanked by rows of skeletal trees crowned in crimson, swaying gently to the chilly autumn wind. You walked inside admiring the surroundings at its threshold stood the delicate marble fountain, the soft gurgling of the clear water melodic as it resonated in the surrounding silence. It was a big mansion more like a palace from Victorian times quite old which gave out some eerie vibes. You took a deep breath gathering some courage and rang the doorbell. The door opened and a young boy appeared from behind. He was most probably in his teens and shared the same facial resemblance to Tom. Must be one of his brothers you assumed as you introduced yourself.

"Umm Hi I'm Y/N Y/L/N. A friend of Tom. We are in the same class. I came to return these to him." You showed him the books.

"Who's it Paddy?" You heard a male voice enquire from inside.

"Umm one of Tom's friends."

"Which friend?" Harry walked to the front door and a wave of shock coursed through his face seeing you as if he saw a ghost. His eyes were slightly widened still trying to process what he was seeing.

"Hello." You greeted the curly haired brunette timidly.

"Oh hey! Y/N!" Harrison chirped from behind breaking Harry from his daze.

"Hey Haz." You finally felt relieved seeing someone familiar.

"Come in!" 

"I thought you would never ask." You quipped giving a quick glance to Harry and Paddy. Harrison led you inside the house and you were stunned at the grandeur of the interiors. The house was stashed with exquisite and expensive articles each item worth hundreds of thousands of dollars you thought. 

"Is this a living room?" you questioned in disbelief looking at the size of the room.

"Living room, parlour whatever you want to say." Harrison half shrugged. 

"Dude two of my houses could fit in here." You chuckled.

"Tom's in the shower you can wait here or I can take you to his room if you want." he gave a sly smirk. You understood the reference a sly smirk forming on your face as well. 

"No thanks I'm fine waiting here Harrison anyway I had some work on this side of the town so thought to stop by and return his books that's all." 

"As you wish." he shrugged. 

"I heard we have a very pretty guest in our house." You turned to look at a red haired middle aged woman, a warm welcoming smile adorned her face. 

"She is Tom's mother." Harrison whispered in your ear. You straightened yourself. 

"Hello Mrs Holland nice to meet you. Sorry for dropping in without prior notice didn't mean any trouble."

"It's totally fine dear. It's good to meet you."

"And I really want to thank you too for lending these books. They came really handy with completing our assignment." 

"I'm glad they came into good use." Her eyes twinkled as her gaze shifted behind you. 

"Oh Tom! look who is here." You turned to find Tom coming down the stairs. 

''Hey Y/N" he said breathily. His eyes sparkled seeing you all bubbly and cheerful after last day’s incident.

"Hi Tom." your heart fluttered as you soaked in his freshly showered appearance. He looked so radiant in trousers and a black shirt sleeves rolled up giving quite a view of his strong veiny arms, his hair slightly wet beads of water dripping from them. He smelled good which intoxicated your senses. You shook off your thoughts and spoke up. 

"Just came to return these sorry for not calling you beforehand." Before Tom could say something you were interrupted by another male voice. 

"That's fine dear you are always welcome at this house." You turned to find a middle aged man. It wasn't hard for you to deduce that he was Tom's father. Tom was having a hard time at your sudden visit to his house because nobody knew about you as well as of him venturing out to the mortal world in search of you. He gulped nervously seeing his father. 

"Let me introduce myself Dominic Holland, owner of Runeshire winery and Tom's father."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Holland." You gave a wide smile. 

"Tom why don't you go and give a tour of our winery to your lovely friend."

"Sure-sure father." Tom stuttered. 

"Come with me Y/N you'll love it.”

Tom gave you a tour around the whole estate. You walked past some picturesque vineyards chit chatting about his family history and how they started this business. Then he took you to the warehouse where their intoxicating delicacy is being produced and stored. Lines of barrels of wine stacked together a fruity aroma looming in the room which itself gave away about its best quality.

"And this is what we make our living out of." Tom announced proudly as you looked around intrigued.

''Come with me, I'll show you something" He showed you a wooden door which led to a secret cellar downstairs. 

"You sure you aren't going to kill me for dropping by your house unannounced?" you joked looking at him skeptically. He rolled his eyes and shook his head smiling. You followed him downstairs. The cellar was filled with more barrels of wine. 

"These are the finest wines of our winery aged to perfection and only reserved for the family and inner circle." 

"Great!" 

"Wanna taste?"

"Am I allowed?" 

"You are kind of an inner circle now, so yes." He shrugged. He went to grab two wine glasses and ran the tap from the wine barrel to fill the glasses. He handed you one. You clink your glasses and take a sip from it.  You never had anything like this before in your life, the rich taste just touched your soul,

"Mmm this. is. so good!" you praised.

"Here." He handed you a bottle of wine.

"What's this for?" you knitted your brows. 

"I went to your house that day empty handed, not a nice impression in front of your parents I guess." 

"You are not my boyfriend Thomas." You narrowed your eyes smirking.

“But son of the owner of the Runeshire winery kind of against our reputation.” he grinned.

“Okay I’m taking it.” It was time for you to leave your job of sneaking around them was done and you were more than relieved that you didn't find anything suspicious.

"It was nice having you here wish you would have stayed for lunch."

"I would love to but not today I promised my mom to return early. Maybe next time. Bye then see you later." 

"Bye love." He walked you back to the front gates and bid you goodbye.

Tom entered his house blushing smiling to himself you just made his day  but the happiness was short lived because he was met with questioning stares from his family wanting explanation of what just happened. 

"So when did you plan on telling us?”

"Father, I just thought it wasn't the right time."

"How can you be so irresponsible, Tom , going into the mortal world? and you took Harrison with you too." 

"Father it's Amber I had to go."

"I know you have a soft spot for her but she is a mortal."

"Half mortal father, she is a half witch too."

"That doesn't change the fact that she is not one of us, mortal blood runs in her body she will age and die eventually one day. What will you do then?" 

"Dark baptism." Agatha interrupted in between. 

"What do you mean Lady Layman?" 

"Get her baptised in the name of our Dark Lord, I’m sure he will grant her powers and she will be just one of us."

"She would never agree to this." Tom said dismissively. 

"Then you have to make her agree to this Thomas or else you have to forget her forever." Tom's father gave him an ultimatum. 

..............

Tom and Harrison were sitting in his room thinking about what to do now as Zendaya appeared.

"Well well all this hush hush to keep her a secret gone to waste. Guess what Amber just blew her cover herself oh sorry Y/N was it?" Zendaya jabbed. 

"Z for once in your life can you stop being a mean bitch you are?" Harrison scoffed. 

"Aww can't my ex would be fiance's lady love do this much for him? oh sorry my mistake she already has someone else in her life."

"Are you done?" Tom asked irritatedly. 

"Because I think it's time for you to do what I said." 

"What do you mean?" Zendaya frowned.

"Did you forget about the deal we had? It’s time.'' 

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing you don’t like. Just need to see how good your seduction skills are." 

"You are not serious are you?" Tom just stared coldly and she got her answer.

"Okay fine." 

It was the day of the decade dance at your college. Everybody dressed themselves taking inspiration from the 90′s era neon colours, halter neck crop tops, slip dresses, skater dresses, button down shirts, drainpipe jeans etc. You were sitting alone at the bleachers because your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen after he left you to get some drinks. You watched Jane dancing having fun with Harrison. You felt happy that finally she found her the love of her life.

Secret love playing......

“What’s with that long face?” Tom quipped.

“None of your business.” you snickered.

“To that I would like to remind you that I'm always ready to be your boyfriend’s replacement.” He offered. You arched a sly brow at him.

“Shall we?” “Okay fine.” you sighed holding onto his hand.

When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down Or would you play it safe and stay?

You weaved your fingers into his long slender ones another hand holding on to his shoulder. His other hand went to hold you around your waist swaying sideways to the music.

Girl, you know this We got a love that is hopeless

Jane's words kept replaying in your mind. “You can't string along with both of them you have to choose.” but you can't be unfaithful to Cole. He doesn't deserve this. It is a passing affair you will get over it, you have to you thought. You witnessed the lifestyle Tom is used to and you are no match to him. So thinking of a thinnest possibility that you can be together is futile. 

Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

Tom was happy for a reason. After tonight one of the bonds that's keeping you tied up to this world will soon be torn apart. The only remorse he feels is that you will get hurt in the process. He is being selfish he knows, he was always selfish when it came to you. But he knows whatever is going to happen is for your own good. You promised him you would come back and that is what he is doing bringing you back to your real self, to him. The music stopped and you stepped away from him.

"I think I should go and find Cole its being quite long he didn't return." 

"Yeah sure." You went to look for Cole but he was nowhere to be found. The only place left for you to check was terrace on the West Wing. You went their and saw Tom walking back from that direction

"Hey!" you called out .Tom was startled at first then he questioned you back. 

"Hey where are you going?" 

"To see if Cole is there or not. I couldn't find him anywhere.'' 

"I think you should not go there." 

"Why?" 

"Uh nothing just some couple making out quite passionately, really weirded me out.” He chuckled.

“let's go inside Y/N, Cole isn't there." He ushered you back to the hall.

"It's okay I don't feel awkward with  people making out. I'll quickly just go and check." 

"But Y/N! Wait!" Before Tom could stop you the damage was already done. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. It was Cole with some girl, their lips practically glued to each other, tongues slipping into each other's mouth moaning and panting. You felt disgusted at the view. Never in your life you thought that Cole will do such a thing to you. Jane was right you were wasting your time on him. All this time you were questioning your moral compass for having feelings for another man and he turned out to be the unfaithful one. 

"You bloody cheater!!" You spat. Cole was startled as he broke the kiss bug eyed to find Zendaya smirking devilishly at him wiping the corner of her lips with her thumb. 

"Who the hell are you?!" He pushed her away. He looked between you and Zendaya in confusion. 

"But- but how can this happen? It was you then where the hell she came from?." 

"You fucking Liar! Just stop with your good act already" you snarled

"Y/N I swear I don't know where she came from." Cole grabbed onto both of your hands desperately trying to make you understand but you were overcome with anger as you pushed him hard. 

"Go to hell!" You stomped off from there with Tom following you. 

You were fuming with rage. And getting drunk you thought was the last resort to get over this heartbreak. You walked up to the drinks counter and started gulping down shots one after the other. You felt that wasn't enough for you as you took a whole bottle of vodka and started drinking from it. 

"Y/N wait no!" Tom snatched the bottle from your hand. You glowered at him angrily. Which made him step back from you in fear, your eyes scared him. They weren't your usual eye color instead they were replaced with burning red hot fiery orbs. He remembered Helena's warning about not to instigate you and the dangerous consequences it can lead to. He quickly hugged you, caressing the back your head soothingly and pecking your forehead. 

"Ssh, Ssh It's alright love.”

“I don't know what's happening to me.” you mumbled face buried into his chest.

“There's nothing to get upset about, calm down, everything will be fine. He doesn't deserve you. I'm here don’t worry" He whispered sweet nothing in your ears trying to cool your temper. You eventually were back to your usual self making Tom heave a sigh of relief. But you were still drunk as you were blabbering random shit. 

"That's enough for today we should go home now." He dragged you out to the corridors. 

"No!" You snatched your hand from his grip. 

"C'mon love, don't be so stubborn let's get you home. You are not in your ownself." He frowned. You walked up to him stumbling a little looking at him with doe eyes. Tom hold on to you trying to steady you down.

"Has anyone ever told you how ridiculously cute and handsome you are?" Tom found the drunk you cute and funny as he played along.

"Yes, you Y/N 25 years ago." he chuckled. 

"Really?.. Then did I kiss you after saying that?" 

"No, Y/N."

"Then I definitely owe you a kiss, my cutie honey bear." You grabbed his face with your hands pouting your lips to kiss him. 

"Y/N you are drunk we should not do this." he pulled his face away.

"Why not? If that moron can kiss someone else, why can't I?" you whined.

"And I know you want this too, what do you think I don't get why you're always there around me? We girls know way before when a guy is interested in us." Tom gulped nervously and suddenly you felt nauseous as you threw up near the bushes outside the corridor. After you were done your body was totally drained out Tom picked you up in princess style and carried you back to his car and took you home.

Tom carried you his hands across your body as you leaned onto him. He rang the doorbell and Erica opened the door. She tsked rolling her eyes seeing you in such a disoriented condition. Without a word she motioned Tom to take you inside. He carried you to your room and laid you on your bed and then stood outside the room so that Erica could change your clothes. Erica came out after a while. 

''You have kind of become a body bearer." Erica chuckled making Tom smile. 

"This is what I was warning you, she is a little impulsive when she gets upset. Thankfully uncle and aunt are not here to see her like this" she sighed. 

"She's just angry. Cole shouldn't have done that." 

"Thanks for looking out for my sister." 

"She's a good friend of mine" 

"Oh C'mon stop with the good friend act already, I know you like her."

"Uh no, no it's - it's nothing like that." he stammered. 

"You really think I'm gonna buy that." Erica arched her brow. "That longing stares, that mutual pining I have gone through it all at one point of my life honey, I know." 

"Gonna say your goodbyes?" She asked. Tom scratches the back of his neck unsure of what to say.

"Go ahead." Erica said assuring him. He walked inside your room and sat beside your sleeping figure. 

"Hey darling." he cooed softly placing his hand on your cheek gently brushing your hair away from your face. You looked so innocent and pure which melts his heart. 

"Sleep well and I'm sorry for tonight." he turned to leave but felt a pull in his hand as you sat up grabbing on to his wrist. 

"Stay. Pleaase…" you made a sad face. And how can he leave you like this. Without a second thought Tom got in the bed lying down beside you. You snuggled close to him resting yourself on his broad chest holding on to his hand. He cradled you in his arm gently threading his fingers through your hair. He stared at you intently. His face dropped as he sighed deeply, a sense of guilt growing in him. Because he was the one behind your bitter fallout with Cole. As per their deal Zendaya with the help of glamour spell turned herself to look like you and lure Cole out. Poor Cole never got the slightest hint that it was Zendaya who was dancing with him the whole time not you. 

"You're being extra clingy tonight Y/N." Cole chuckled. 

"Not my fault if my man looks extra delicious tonight." You said with lust blown eyes. 

"Just wanna savor onto these tender lips" you kissed him fervently. And then dragged him out of the hall to the terrace and grabbed onto his shirt slamming your lips to his devouring him. But alas if he would have known that he is being tricked so that his image gets maligned in your eyes. So that you start hating him and break up with him.

He knew whatever he did today was wrong he hurt you but your bonds with the mortal world had to be broken because as soon as they will come to know about your true identity they will try to kill you and he won’t let that happen this time. And after what he witnessed tonight, the slightest hint that he got of that your powers are soon going to come back was enough for him to know that he can't risk it anymore. The door was open as Erica came in to check up on you and found you two all cuddled up. She tapped on the door gently with a smirk. Tom was snapped out of his thoughts as he hastily tried to sit up. But Erica stopped him waving her hand and mouthed to him. 

"It's ok.. Take care of her." he nodded smiling. Erica went away closing the door. Tom sighed, turning his attention to you, still gently stroking your hair and closed his eyes dozing off to sleep. After so many years he is finally going to have a good night's sleep in your warm embrace . 

……….. 

You squinted as the sun rays hit your face, fluttering your eyes open. The sheets were cold as you got up to an empty bed. You went downstairs and heard some noise coming from the kitchen. You made your way to the kitchen to find Tom cooking breakfast.

"Am I still drunk or my sister turned into you." You joked. 

"Good morning." 

“Morning” you yawned. “Didn’t know you were a chef too. I'm a horrible cook by the way.” you chuckled.

“Yeah Tom offered to help and I couldn't refuse the offer of getting one day off from cooking duties.” Erica chuckled from behind. You went up to her and whispered in her ears.

"Why is he here?" 

"Because your clingy ass didn't let him go. Thank God your parents are nit here."

“You let us sleep together on the same bed?” you seethed.

"You know he seems to be a nice guy." 

"Seriously I just broke up with my long time boyfriend last night and you are trying to set me up with another guy the next day?"

"And I’m glad you finally broke up with that dumbass. And I also know you secretly like Tom. C’mon I’m just being a supportive sister."

“You're unbelievable” you scoffed and went back to the kitchen 

"Hey I don't remember much of it from last night but if I did or said anything wrong I'm sorry."

"Hmm apart from trying to kiss me and almost puking on me it's ok I don't mind." your face turned red in embarrassment.

“It's okay darling, glad to know that you find me cute.” he handed you your breakfast giving you a subtle wink mischievously.

“That cheeky bastard” you thought.

…………………………………………………………………..

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyreidstheroom @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811 @awhollandx @joyleenl  @greatpizzascissorstaco @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @jjandreidsgirl @brighterthanthesunx @adevilallthetime @panicattheeverywherekid @onewithnomightypowers @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings @hollandprkr  @hollandsobrien @timotayswriter @kiki-hines @casualprincess77 @spideyth @perspectiveparker @thevelvetseries @tempo-rary-fix @onebigolemess  @itsbqueenthings @chingonaconcha @yoongi-holland @l0lmk @itsemohours @fanficscuziranout  @allthisfortommy   @starcoadrienette2​  @hollanddolanfangirl​ @pvnkfangirl​

Taglist: To be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

[liamscxtt]

a day in the life ; self para

when: thursday, august 28th

where: literally everywhere

nb: just a brief (long) narrative of what the typical day looks like for liam.

trigger warnings: homelessness, death and drug mentions, drug abuse

5:00am

there’s a moment when you first wake up when everything is just a haze. a moment when you forget who you are, what day it is -- all of your problems just don’t exist, for that moment. the moment only lasted a few seconds before the blaring sound of the alarms coming from the phone bring you back to the brutal aspects of reality. and yet, those were the best five seconds for liam.

groaning, he turned over and tapped on his screen, desperately trying to shut the alarm off; the bright screen burning his already sleep deprived eyes. he probably only got about three hours of sleep, if that. he was used to it at this point, and then there were days like today. days where he wanted to wither into the depths of his own self-loathing. 

he looked out the window to see the sun beginning to rise. a sky painted with shades of blues, purples, and oranges, almost like a messy yet somewhat neatly put together painting made by a middle schooler. there was something beautiful about waking up with the sun, parts of it that brought him peace. his sister loved watching the sunrise - she always went on and on about how sunrises were the true underdog; how mother nature picked it’s most beautiful mixture of colors for the sunrises, all because it took a special person to appreciate the beauty that came from it. he never really understood what she meant, until he was forced to watch the sun rise every single morning. and as always, she was right. sunsets had nothing against sunrises. 

these quiet mornings were the best part of liam’s day. the hours where he felt most connected to his sister and to himself. the hours he felt truly at peace. it was crazy to think that liam’s favorite time of the day was between 5:00am and 6:30am. 

he turned on his car to play youtube on his aux before climbing out of his vehicle. the sweet melody’s of the soft pitched tunes filled his car and the immediate area surrounding it, and a smile creeped on his face as one of her favorite songs began playing in the background. he wasn’t religious, but there was a part of him that truly found strength in knowing that his sister wasn’t far away. 

he rolled up the worn down mattress topper, collected his pillow and blanket in one hand. he broke down his bed as he pushed the backseat of his 2006 ford escape upright and neatly tucked his belongings into his trunk. 

5:30am

he pulled into the vacant parking lot of the soulstice gym. the gym was set to open in a half hour; luckily for him, there weren’t many college students that would dare to wake up at the crack of dawn just to work out. he stuffed everything he needed to get ready for the day into a duffle bag; shower supplies, and a clean outfit. he desperately needed to do laundry, and he needed to get food...but pay day wasn’t until next week. he was gonna have to find cash, and find it quick - maybe he’ll just pick up another shift at the bar. he practically lived at that place now.

his footsteps echoed through as he walked through the empty fitness center; not even the cleaners had arrived for their early morning shift. he quickly hopped into the showers and get ready for the day. lord knows he needed to wash the dirt and sins that painted his skin from the previous nights festivities. he couldn’t even recall what exactly happened, and that was both a blessing and a curse. it was shortly after he turned on all the lights and greeted the early morning cleaners, jimmy and george. 

“good morning, son!” greeted george. 

“mornin’, will.” jimmy greeted shortly after. 

jimmy and george worked closely together, and were usually gone for the day 2pm; and yet, liam knew the guys quite well. 

jimmy is in his early-forties, married with two children. he worked two full time jobs to get his children through school. his son played division II baseball at a school somewhere in the midwest, and is majoring in sports education. he wants to be a gym teacher. his daughter is studying to be a nurse at monarch. she aspires to work in women’s health. jimmy always spoke so highly of them two. 

george is in his mid-sixties, but is still kicking it like he’s twenty. he’s also married with children and even grandchildren, but his story is more tragic. he’s a retired firefighter, who is still working a full time job because his pension wasn’t enough to make ends meet. can’t make ends meet. his only daughter passed away at a young age - drug overdose, he says. his only son is constantly in and out of jail for drug charges - leaving george and his wife to take care and raise their two grandchildren, layla and michael. layla is 14 and is getting ready to start high school. she loves to play volleyball, and apparently is a natural. michael is 9 and is getting ready to start fourth grade. he love cars, spider man, legos, sonic, and baseball cards. he wants to be a youtube gamer when he grows up. liam didn’t know the kid, but he thought he was fucking awesome. 

two completely different stories, and yet liam believed that those two men deserved the world and then some.

“what’s up, guys?” liam greeted with a smile as he filled up his metal water bottle at the nearest filling station. “when are the kids set to go back, george?”

“this coming monday. mikey’s already complaining how he doesn’t need school to be a youtuber. apparently he’s ‘done his research’.” the comment makes both liam and jimmy laugh. 

“tell the little man to put that energy into a sport, or a trade. i need a new mechanic.” jim jested, once again causing the other two to laugh. “what about you, will? getting ready to start the semester back up? gabby is already stressing because some of her professors already posted the syllabus.” 

“shit, i haven’t even gotten my textbooks yet. i might have to join mikey with this whole youtuber plan and hope for the best.” liam said with a nervous chuckle. he almost had completely forgotten about the upcoming semester approaching. 

to quickly divert the question away from him, he spoke once more. “say, george. i found a few baseball cards at the bar the other night. remind me to bring them in for you.” 

“you’ll make that boys entire week. maybe i’ll use that to bribe him to go to school.” 

jimmy just smiled. “you’re a good kid, scotty boy. never change.” 

2:30pm

it had only been a half hour since liam clocked out from his morning job, and he quickly made his way over to the library. the mention of school that morning brought liam into a panic. he grabbed a spot at one of desks in the computer station, powering on the device and pulling out his notebook. luckily enough, most of the textbooks he needed the library had available. leaving his stuff behind, he went to go fetched them. 

he already had mastered the technique of not having his own textbooks. every week, he would go and scan all of the chapters he needed for each and every class. luckily, monarch offered free scanning and printing. he made small talk with the librarian that sat at the desk nearby as he printed out at least three weeks worth of chapters for each of his classes. 

he sat down once more, and took the time to put the pile of papers neatly into his binder. it was time to start planning. 

6:30pm

now it was time to work his night time job, mars bar. he was working with adrian tonight, so he knew it wouldn’t be that bad.

his stomach had been grumbling half way through his shift. he hadn’t eaten anything all day. but he continued to push through. he had to, at least until pay day. he continued to chug water; if his stomach was full of water, his body didn’t have time to remind him that it needed some sort of nutrients. he was a master manipulator when it came to his own body now. 

1:00am

the rounded out the tips that he received from his customers. it was a good night, and luckily enough he would be able to do laundry the next day. his body was tired, though; aching from the lack of sleep and abuse his body endured from the festivities. he felt like he could sleep for an entire month, and then some. 

he drove around for a bit after his shift, a thing he did as he needed to both unwind and find a somewhat safe space to park his car. university police were patrolling the parking lots that night, which immediately told him not to park there. he couldn’t park in greek row - too many people he knew by this point. he was left to park in a nearby park, in a nearby neighborhood. he found himself saying a small prayer that nobody would mess with him that night. 

he lit up a joint once he found his place, feeling the smoke fill his lungs as he listened to the calming music that played on the radio. ed sheeran was playing, a song from his multiply album. it was one of his and his sister’s favorite albums. that’s the one thing they shared in common, their taste in music. but she was more pop in a sense, and he was more edgy. but still, the music brought him comfort.

he got his bed ready; a mattress topper, paired with a pillow and a blanket. he made himself comfortable and looked at his phone, just to see he missed a text from his mother at 10:45pm.

hi honey! spoke with your aunt today, and we’re making plans for christmas. did your father reach out to you? let me know what plans he has set. i’ll arrange my trip around your plans. 

i hope you had a great day! i love you! ❤️

her message was followed by a bitmoji image of her holding a huge heart. and he smiled. 

i haven’t spoken to him all week, but i’ll reach out tomorrow and let you know. i’ll call you tomorrow. love you ❤️

there was a huge part of him that wanted to call her now, that wanted to tell her he had been struggling both physically and mentally...but then he remembered the damage and the financial burden his injury left. it ruined his family. he ruined his family. and just as he was about to press call, he let out a frustrated sigh before locking his phone and tossing it not too far away from him, rolling over to attempt to get some sort of rest.

just to do the same thing. all. over. again.

[meadow-dusk]

Another Song Shuffle Tag Game

Put your music player on shuffle, and instead of just listing what comes on, you get to personalize it a little bit. If you enjoy, tag some others to keep it going!

SONG #1: Join Together - The Who

1. How old were you when you heard this song for the first time?: ~19? It was around when they played the Super Bowl halftime I think

2. What album is it off of?: I think it was a single..?

3. What genre is it?: classic rock

4. What’s your favorite lyric from this song?: The biggest band you'll find, it's as deep as it is wide

5. Does it remind you of any certain person or event?: Yeah when they played the Super Bowl halftime show

SONG #2: New Blue Moon - Traveling Wilburys

1. Which of your friends would most likely enjoy this song as much as you do?: my sister for SURE

2. Is this band your favorite, or at least one of your favorites?: I love the Wilburys but not a favorite. However, I rarely change them when they come on.

3. What do you think this song is about?: Some lyrics that sounded nice together with some nice guitar licks

4. Have you ever blasted this song in your car?: No but def in earphones

5. Do you own it on CD?: nope

SONG #3: Straight On - Heart

1. What language is this song sung in?: English

2. Have you heard this song on the radio?: Of course

3. How did you discover this song?: on the radio

4. Would you mind if this song was played at your wedding?: Nope

5. Does this song have any cursing in it?: I doubt it wow these were boring questions for this one

SONG #4: You're Not Alone - Big Time Rush

1. How often do you listen to this song?: Like 2x per year? Enough to be like "oh hey I remember this!" but I don't go looking

2. Do you have it on any of your online playlists?: no just liked songs

3. Does this song have a music video?: Probz cause they were a TV boy band

4. Is this a popular song from the band?: idts

5. Is the band popular at all?: unfortunately not

SONG #5: Ladies of the Canyon - Joni Mitchell

1. Have you seen this band live? If so, did they perform this song?: nope but I would not turn down that opportunity! I don't think it's likely tho.

2. Is this a very well-known song? Was it played on the radio?: Not very but that's no excuse for how long it took me to discover it

3. Do any of your friends like this song?: Probably do not know it despite my explaining how relatable it is that one of the characters "may bake some brownies today" and later gathers flowers for her home

4. If you could pair up one historical event with this song, what would you chose?: I mean just the entire Laurel Canyon legacy?

5. Just going by the title, what do you think this song means?: sry you couldn't be there but imagine if you could

SONG #6: I'd Love You To Want Me - Lobo

1. How long have you been listening to this song?: Since 2014?

2. Is this song from the band’s newer or older music?: I have no concept of the Lobo discography

3. Ever heard this song on MTV/Fuse/etc.?: What the heck is fuse

4. If you went up to a random person in the street and mentioned this song, what are the chances they’d know what song it is?: No but I'm that person that's like "it goes like this:.."

5. Are the vocals male or female?: Male

SONG #7: Give Me Love Give Me Peace on Earth - George Harrison

1. What’s better in this song; the vocals or the actual music?: music I think but only barely

2. Do you have this song on your iPod/Zune/MP3 player/whatever?: when is this survey from

3. Do you have this song downloaded onto your computer?: No but I have the album

4. How old is the person who sings this?: Would've been 78 now; he was 30 when this record was released.

5. What instruments are featured in this song?: Most prominently, guitar

SONG #8: You Better Believe It - Small Faces

1. What memories does this song bring back?: learning about the Small Faces and not understanding how they didn't get as popular in the US

2. Was this song produced earlier than 2005?: very much so

3. Is this song leaning more towards rock or rap?: lol THAT's a fun thing to imagine

4. What’s a song that sounds similar to this (think of a band that sounds similar)?: It reminds me of "Cry Like a Baby" by the Box Tops

5. Do you own a band shirt of this band?: No

SONG #9: Return to Sender - Elvis Presley

1. What mood does this song put you in?: a sing-y one

2. Did you ever reference this song for a school paper or in your diary or anything?: every SINGLE time that mail comes back undeliverable bc I am only human

3. How can you relate to this song?: Not literally but who cares

4. Do you know all the lyrics to it?: A good proportion

5. Who got you into the band that sings this song?: Probably from watching the Beatles Anthology

SONG #10: Girls on Film - Duran Duran

1. What country does the band who sings this originate from?: UK

2. Ever heard this song live? How does it sound compared to the CD version?: I think so actually! It was mediocre

3. One instrument that really stands out in this song?: That lens cap soundbite that drove my first dog ~crazy when it came on once

4. Can you play this song on any instruments? If so, which ones?: I can sing it

5. Do any of your family members know this song?: all of them bc this CD got played a lot on the way to swim meets

source: surveyjunkie

tagging @chrysochromulina, @moptopper, @rick-s147, @ratherbewithmydog and as usual anybody that sees this can join in!

[calypsoff]

One. Part 3

I am slightly drunk and Robyn is still texting me, I really didn’t think she would be texting me like this but she is. I didn’t think she would have such time for me like that, I am shocked and grateful. Also I feel myself drifting off to sleep, I have had such an eventful day, I was not ready to hear such things from Robyn, I wasn’t prepared for her to even say she remembers me but she did and I swear it makes me want to shed a tear to think she does and the way she is here just messaging me like we some stupid teenagers, I don’t even have to lock my phone. This is how quickly she is messaging me back, but it’s a dangerous game when I am drunk. Drunk Chris does and says things sober Chris doesn’t, but I am slighty aware of what I am doing so that is a good thing. My phone pinged in my hand, smiling at her message.

Twin:

You’re not that special! I text everyone in the club 🤚🏿🤚🏿🤚🏿

Chris:

You’re stood in the club responding to me. Shouldn’t you be dancing with your man? 👀👀

Twin:

Doing both at the same time 💃🏽

Chris:

There is only one of us you’re ‘doing’ 🤔

Twin:

Christoff.....

Chris:

Elsa.....

Twin:

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you’re annoying! Nigga go to sleep then cause I’m sure you cried you had work!?

Chris:

Then I heard your song photographs? You got some questions that you need to answer 😳

Twin:

I didn’t go to the club 😕😕 I’m in the hotel on my own actually, what question is that? First answer what you got me under? Name wise

Chris:

Twin 😌 was going to go with Barbadian cherry but I decided against it

Twin:

Barbadian cherry loll you’re actually so very annoying but you’re also twin on my phone too.

My phone starting ringing as I just finished reading that message, reading the name Twin. She is calling me, she knows I am awake and I don’t know why I’m just here doing this, answering the call “you’re very efficient, I give you that” I said down the phone “efficient? I’ve never been called that before, I didn’t go to no club. My mind wasn’t in it, I just was you know..” she dragged out, she sounds so sweet on the phone but it’s a dangerous game, I am tipsy and like she is there on the phone “thinking about me?” I laughed “now why would I be thinking of you? I am tired actually” she is such a liar “tired of running through my mind? Oh my god that sounded so much better in my mind, that was so bad!” I spat laughing, that was so very horrible to say “you should be ashamed of yourself to say that” rubbing my eye groaning out, I am so ashamed of myself “man, I am wack don’t mind me but tell me, I listened to the song. It’s me, what you mean by those words? The word love, how did I hurt you?” I would like to know how I even did that to her “I think it’s hard to just say it over the phone, like I am not shy about things in life like I was when I was fifteen, I still sit here and think when I stopped you from us having sex I just freaked out I guess but I just want to speak to you in person” pulling a face “but love?” It’s crazy “don’t you think that?” She said, I fell awfully silent “love is when you care for someone, love is when you never forget someone, love is when things never change even though it’s been years. Love is..” I dragged out “when you don’t forget the person that made you happy” which I haven’t “meet me” she blurted out “Rihanna? Please stop harassing me” she snorted laughing “but what about Robyn?” I smirked “I’m drunk, well slightly. I do have work at seven, not a lie. Suppose if you can meet me before then sure, actually I’m being awkward, sorry” I apologised because I am being very awkward with her “don’t be, I just. I finally got you back and I am sad it ended that way, we have so much to speak on. It’s hard but I can come to you?” Shaking my head, I feel bad I am being awkward. Telling her to come to me “erm, I can pull up near your hotel and you just jump in? That if it’s ok with you? I won’t be drunk by then; I mean I am not drunk but a little tipsy” that can work “I don’t mind coming to you?” I grinned “how you going to do that coconut head? I got you, but it’s late so I’m going to sleep, is that ok?” She seems way too attached to me, I like it though “of course, see you in the morning” I don’t know why but we both laughed, this is annoying “goodnight” she had me giggling, this can’t be it.

I said I was going to sleep; well I can’t sleep and I’m wide awake. I’m just laid here with my eyes open; I did close my eyes to try and attempt to sleep but that is not working out. My mind is just racing, I mean usually a blunt and booze does the trick but not today. My phone buzzed, lifting my head up and grabbing my phone from the side. Squinting my eyes seeing Twin, she has text me and it’s like five in the morning. My phone unlocked from face recognition.

Twin:

Is it just me cause I can’t sleep? 🤦🏾‍♀️

I let out a low chuckle, she’s not wrong because I can’t sleep either. That is weird, we both can’t be like this.

Chris:

It’s just you 👻

Twin:

Then who is texting!?

Chris:

ASAP 👀

Twin:

You goofy 🖕🏿.

Why she tripping because that is her man, oh wait he could be in bed with her. My phone pinged again, she is texting fast.

Twin:

I feel so giddy 😥

Chris:

Message me your hotel! I’ll come 🚗

I mean I have got questions so why not; I can’t sleep, and neither can she. Getting out of bed, I can drive, but then again she will be sitting in a second hand car, but I don’t care, I don’t think she does either. She seems too hype about wanting to see me, it feels like we never even lost contact. I think because it’s been so long we have missed a lot of each other, she’s really made me ever so excited. I feel like a teenager all over again with her, but we will see what’s up before she goes, I can’t sleep and she can’t sleep so why not.

Robyn is taking her time coming out, I am about to drive off if she doesn’t come any minute now. Hearing a tug at my car door handle, looking to the side and then seeing Robyn slap my car window, reaching to the side and pressing the button to wind down the window, Robyn bought her head down “it’s cold, let me in” I snorted laughing “what is with you and lowered snapbacks, you near broke my window” unlocking my car door, she was quick to open the door and get in, putting the window up as she got in “I got my uniform on, don’t mind me” slight shame came over me but I don’t care for it, this is me “cute, blue suits you” licking my lips smiling “since you took forever, I need to get breakfast before I go, you want something? I’m treating?” Looking over at her “yeah” her voice squeaked, she is giving me real heart eyes “how you come out without anyone knowing? I mean you are babysat” I drove off slowly “I told Mel, and for her to keep it on the low. I’ll be back quick, then Rich overheard, and he walked me to the car, he was concerned. I don’t want the commotion, not when he was asleep just next door” raising an eyebrow “your boyfriend, don’t be shy now” I feel I’m getting confident with her “what about your girlfriend, didn’t mention that one right?” I snorted laughing; she is funny.

Stopping outside the window waiting for the breakfast “don’t ever say I didn’t treat you, my broke ass bought you breakfast” reaching out of the car window, grabbing Robyn’ iced latte “is this nice?” holding out the drink to her “it is thank you” grabbing my drink as the lady passed me my water “can you pull around for me, we will bring it to you..” she dragged out and lowered her head “is that you Rihanna!?” she spat “that” I pointed at Robyn “I been telling you to stop copying her tattoos, it’s just my sister. She likes to copy her” I drove off smiling, feeling Robyn’ hand hit my shoulder “what? I mean what did you want me to say” shaking my head, she is always unimpressed. Parking around the corner and putting my car in park “ain’t your man going to think where you at?” looking over at Robyn “Mel will make something up, it’s fine. I will be probably back before then” I grinned nodding my head as we both just stared at each other which made us laugh “you’re stupid” I had to say it, shifting in my seat “be quiet, why couldn’t you sleep?” rubbing my cheek “because I was hype, could say I was happy. You know, you just reconnect with someone. Also I been thinking that song is more telling then you put on, I am a little shook by it. So yeah, I was just thinking. Again I want answers, be like be truthful with me, it’s me. We good you know” moving back from the window as the lady came over with our food.

Passing Robyn’ drink back “that is the nastiest thing to have, the fuck!?” Robyn chuckled “thank you for paying for my breakfast though, you didn’t need too but you did” putting my head back against the headrest “I have to take you back now, you know. Nigga got to work; it’s been good. The old days but with one waffle and a fork” I laughed shaking my head “did you love me?” I just said it, I don’t want us to be sat here and not say it, we don’t have the time and we wasted so much of that. Staring ahead of me, not even looking at Robyn because I may just put her off or we just start laughing like we do. Her silence made me drag my eyes to her, slyly looking at her “did?” she spoke, lifting my head forward “I didn’t know what love is, we didn’t know what love is. We were young but to me, for me to remember you the way I do. The way we were falling, I can say that you are the love that got away and it did kill me to know you wasn’t there” that makes it understandable “so you felt hurt? Because in the song you mention about hurt, I don’t remember hurting you” Robyn is actually shy, like she is getting red “I did feel hurt, because I was so infatuated with what you would have been, I always thought like what is he doing, what does he look like and seeing you again you have bought that back up. And you make me feel so normal, I love that about you. I just think we have so much to just catch up on” that is wild “it’s a sticky situation” I laughed nervously “you got me giggling and shit, I am happy. I feel like me again, I just feel like I failed, but I just erm, I see you as Robyn. Like Rihanna who? Yeah, I am going to be real, like you know me. I am real, I am on team no sleep but to remember that person after all these years, it’s love. I think we had something so special but it’s a sticky situation, we are very much at different points in our lives, but” I sighed out “you got my number, I got yours. I mean I always need answers from you, I think we missed out on a lot, being teenagers I guess” it’s a hard situation I think anyways.

“Look at us speaking like adults, but you have always spoke real with me Chris. I love that about you” biting on my bottom lip smiling “love? You love saying that word love, love this, love that” Robyn and I both laughed, she rested her hand on my shoulder “you are annoying, I love to love now be quiet” Robyn rested her head on my shoulder “you always been touchy with me, you Barbadian women” Robyn moved back from me “how many have you had!?” she questioned “nearly one but that got away” putting my car engine on “I am just so happy we have reconnected Chris, you do not understand. I love Mel but I felt you was missing from the equation, you just always were there to keep me grounded, always hyping me up. I feel also like I let you down with things” shaking my head “stop it, don’t think that, it’s life” I winked at her “but we will link up again, when I get the time and if you’re still here in US. Work is busy, trying to pay off my mom and stuff, it’s like I’m starting off again” I am not ashamed to speak on normal work with Robyn, I am just that comfortable with her “it’s never too late, but I will wait for you. So we can meet up, how did you meet your girlfriend?” I smirked “uhm, my friend calls her Psycho but I came out of Jail, that following week I went out and she asked me out, she’s good people. A little on the slow side, she wants to like make home with me, I am just trying to be me. I’m trying to have my space. Let’s make a truce, not mention our partners? I think it’s better but since you asked, what about your boyfriend? Gives better hugs then me?” Robyn side eyed me “didn’t ask for the question back but we hung out a lot and we just thought let’s try it out but from him being my friend and now my boyfriend, he’s not what I assumed. He’s better a friend, like I feel I am an accessory to him. He likes his fair girls. And he says that. He mentioned that my nose was too wide, he said it was a joke but still. I think he’s a good vibe, not a good boyfriend or lover” she dragged out “you’re beautiful Robyn, the world is yours. And some ugly nigga like that don’t tell you different, you dump him and move on, you have the world in your hands. What I tell you about that, he seems weird to me anyways” he lucky to have Robyn, what kind of shit is this “I know twin” Robyn drifted off saying.

[shawnsassymendes]

Best Friend’s Brother

a/n: sorry man i just love this trope also aaliyah and reader are in college in this thing but shawns the same age. so the difference between shawn and aaliyah would be like idk 2-3 years?

synopsis: your best friend bails on your movie night, so you end up going with her brother.

wc: 3.2k

{Masterlist in Bio}

____________________

You walked up to the front door of your best friend’s childhood home. It was winter break so everyone was back home, leaving a few students at the dorms of the University of Toronto. One of them being you. 

Your best friend of almost 10 years now lived in the suburbs that neighboured Toronto. Only a half hour drive from the dorms. You drove up to Pickering every Wednesday and Saturday during break to have your bi weekly movie night with Aaliyah.

You never minded the drive, of course. She was your best friend and you couldn’t bear staying at your dorm with nothing to do all winter break long. You couldn’t really afford a trip back home right now.

“Liyah, I’m here!” You called out as you unlocked the door. You were given a spare key to the Mendes household as soon as you could drive.

“I’m in my room!” Aaliyah yelled out.

You walked up the stairs and entered Aaliyah’s room. She was slipping on a black silk top over her dark wash high waisted skinny jeans. “A bit much for movie night?” You remarked, plopping down on her bed.

“Movie night?” Aaliyah’s knitted brows slowly rose to her hairline. “Oh my god, movie night! I’m so sorry y/n, I thought it was Friday!” 

You groaned and tipped your head back. “Liyah, what the hell? Please don’t tell me Jordan’s coming.”

Aaliyah’s face became riddled with guilt. “Jordan’s already outside.” She smiled sheepishly, pointing at her boyfriend’s car through the window.

“I fucking hate you. What the fuck am I gonna do with the tickets?” You pulled out the tickets from your purse and waved them in her face.

“You can go alone? You always said you wanted to try that?” Aaliyah said as he adjusted her bra to show more cleavage.

“Not today I don’t! I’m going with your mom, she’s much better company anyways.” You huffed, getting up to go find Karen. 

“Mom’s not here. She’s out with friends.”

“Then who’s home?” You were hoping she would say Manny because movies with him were always entertaining. The answer you really didn’t want her to say was exactly what she did say.

“Just Shawn.” She shrugged before her eyes went wide and a grin spread over her face. 

“Don’t even think about it. I’m not going. I’ll stay here until you come back and we can watch whatever’s on Netflix until sunrise. I’m not gonna go with him.” You crossed yours arms over your chest and sat on her desk chair.

“But you know you wanna.” Aaliyah smirked, pulling you up from the chair. “This crush has been going on for too long. Come on, if you go with him tonight I’ll take you to the fancy French place for dinner. You know the one, Aubergine du Pompadour.” She said the name of the restaurant with the worst French accent you could imagine, replacing every word with whatever sounded like it fit in.

“Auberge du Pommier.” You rolled your eyes, correcting her. “That place is hella expensive, Liyah. We can’t go. You know I can hardly afford gas.”

“Who said I’d let you pay?” She scoffed. “Shawnie boy gave me his card for Christmas. Told me to go crazy. Consider this part of your Christmas present.” Aaliyah grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Were you really considering this? Yes, definitely. You’ve had a crush on Shawn since forever. He was always nice to you, helping you out whenever he could. But you were sure he just saw you as a little sister.

“Okay.” You whispered, head still tilted back.

“Oh my god, really?” Aaliyah squealed.

“Yeah, but only as friends. I’m not gonna try to do anything. We’re just friends. Just my best friend’s brother.” You confirmed, looking Aaliyah in the eye.

“My best friend’s brother, my best friend’s brother. BFB, BFB, my best friend’s brother is the one for me.” Aaliyah sang in a low voice, not wanting her brother to hear.

“Shut it!” You hissed, struggling not to smile.

“Liyah baby, you ready?” Jordan asked as he walked into the room. “Hey y/n!” He shot you a smile.

“Jordan, you are dead to me.” You replied, picking up a pillow from the bed and throwing it at him.

Jordan caught it with ease. “The fuck did I do?”

“Why are you taking her on a date today? It’s movie night!” You whined, incredibly close to jumping up and down like a toddler having a tantrum.

“Oh shit, sorry y/n. Thought it was Friday.” Jordan winced, placing the pillow back on the bed.

You rolled your eyes and shot him a glare. “What the fuck have you guys been smoking, it’s Wednesday.”

Jordan came up behind Aaliyah and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her torso. “I was telling her, she should go with Shawn.” Aaliyah told her boyfriend, looking up at him.

“Oh, that’s a good idea!” Jordan smiled, looking back at you. “Finally gonna make a move?”

“Not in a million years.” 

“Still thinks he sees her as a little sister.” Aaliyah grumbled.

Jordan chuckled. “Mhm, sure. Let’s pretend you two didn’t make out at that-”

“It was one time!” You cut him off, eyes wide. “Besides, he was drunk. Doesn’t even remember it.”

Jordan raised his brows at you, as if to ask if you were serious. “He told you that?”

“Uh, no. He didn’t say anything after, just assumed he forgot.” Your voice trailed off.

“Pfft, alright whatever. We have a reservation we’re gonna be late for.” Aaliyah piped up, looking pointedly at Jordan.

“Yeah, we do. You want me to drop you off at your dorm or are you going to the movie?” Jordan asked, taking his keys out of his pocket.

“No, I’m gonna see if Shawn wants to go. If he doesn’t, I’ll just go home. Have fun you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” You smiled as you handed Aaliyah her coat.

“How about you stay over, eh? We can have a sleepover when we get back.” Aaliyah asked, putting her hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” She gave you a kiss on the cheek before she left the room, leaving you to your own devices.

You spread yourself out on the bed, listening to Aaliyah and Jordan drive off while you thought of what to do next. 

You could always just throw the tickets away. Never ask Shawn and stay the night. Tell Aaliyah he said no and that you went alone. But she would definitely ask Shawn why he said no. And he would be as clueless as ever. She would get pissed that you lied. Ugh too much trouble.

You hopped off the bed and headed to Shawn’s room before you changed your mind. You knocked the door three times and stepped back. 

“Coming!” Shawn’s voice could be heard through the door. He opened it and his eyes landed on you, causing a smile to spread across his face. “Hey, y/n. How are you?” He hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

“I’m good. How about you? When did you come home?” Small talk wasn’t your favorite, but any words exchanged with Shawn were precious.

“Just a couple days ago. Staying here until Christmas, but then I’m going back to my place. You coming here for Christmas this year?” You were probably just high off of being around him, but it was almost like Shawn sounded hopeful.

“Uh, yeah I am.” You replied, looking down at the carpeted floors. You knew if you explained why, Shawn wouldn’t hesitate to offer you a ticket home and you were in no way going to accept that. So you changed the subject “Listen, I booked two tickets for a movie, but Liyah bailed on me. I was hop-thinking, maybe you would wanna... come with?”

“Of course! I mean uh, yeah sure. When does it start?” Shawn asked, retreating into his room to change out of his sweatpants you assumed. 

“We’ve still got plenty of time. Starts in two hours. Liyah and I usually take the long way to listen to more songs. That’s why I’m here so early.” You explained, wiping your palms against your jean clad thighs.

“No worries.” Shawn smiled, looking you over. He perked up when he saw what you were wearing. “Nice hoodie.” He smirked.

You looked down and saw that you were wearing the Pine Ridge hoodie Shawn had given you ages ago. You hadn’t attended Pine Ridge, so Shawn knew it was his. “Don’t get cocky, now.” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Who said anything about cocky?” 

“That look on your face says cocky. I’ll be waiting downstairs.” 

Your conversation with Aaliyah and Jordan echoed in your mind as you walked down the stairs. It was like they knew something you didn’t. It was like they knew for certain that Shawn liked you back. But that was impossible. Maybe they were bluffing to get you to act on your feelings. But Jordan... how did Jordan know about the kiss?

Shawn kissed you at his birthday party during the summer. It was so abrupt and sudden and he was pulled away immediately afterwards, leaving you all alone. After Shawn made no attempt to contact you the day after, you kept it a secret for so long. You told Aaliyah a full two months after it happened. She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone, and Aaliyah never breaks her promises. So who the hell told Jordan?

“Your car or mine?” Shawn’s words broke your train of thought, shaking you out of your trance to look at him pulling on his shoes on the staircase.

“Yours, I’m all outta gas.” You chuckled.

“You gonna be okay to go home?” You couldn’t help but feel a few butterflies batting their wings in your stomach at the slight protectiveness you were getting from him.

“I’m staying over, but I’ll figure something out tomorrow. Come on, I have a playlist in mind.” You skipped your way out of the house, scrolling through your phone to find the playlist.

You walked to the passenger side of Shawn’s Jeep, waiting to hear him unlock the car. When you heard the beep, you pulled the car door open only for it to still be locked. You looked up to find Shawn standing near the Tesla and not the Jeep.

“I thought we could take this one for tonight. We always use the Jeep.” Shawn shrugged.

“That’s because I love the Jeep. Come on Shawn, you know I’m not one for fancy shit.” You looked at him and nodded towards the Jeep one more time.

“Whatever you want, honey.” There they were again, those pesky butterflies. 

You climbed into the car and connected your phone to the car bluetooth. You hit shuffle on the playlist you had ready as Shawn buckled up.

“I love this song.” Shawn smiled, head bopping to the melody. Shawn looked at the screen that he had installed where the radio used to be. “Is the playlist called Shawn?”

“Yup.” 

“Why do you have a playlist called Shawn?”

“I have a playlist ready for anyone I might be in a car with. There’s Liyah, there’s Jordan, there’s Liyah and Jordan. I have their song on there ‘cause the look on their faces when it comes on is so adorable. And one for my mom and your mom and you know, a lot of people.” You scrolled through your playlists, naming them and explaining little things about each one.

“That’s cute.” Shawn pointed out. “The thing about Aaliyah and Jordan. That you know their song. I don’t even know their song.”

“Mm, perks of being the best friend.” 

You and Shawn easily slipped into conversation, stopping every once in a while to sing along loudly to any particular song. You noticed half an hour into the drive that the 15 minute ride to the movie theater was taking much longer than usual. Shawn was taking the long way... 

When you arrived, there was about 10 minutes left before the movie would start. Shawn missed a lot of turns apparently. You walked in and got your snacks and beverages and went to your screen.

You had no clue why you had booked this movie because it was the cheesiest rom-com you had ever seen. It came to the point where it was a full on comedy for you. You were glad Aaliyah hadn’t come with you to see it because she would have hated it. Shawn however, found it absolutely hilarious.

You snickers kept getting you glares and loud hushes to be quiet from the movie goers around you. 

"Hey, you wanna get out of here? The park’s like two minutes away.” Shawn whispered into your ear about halfway through the movie.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You snickered. You let Shawn take your hand and lead you out of the cinema.

You walked in a comfortable silence towards the park nearby, hands still intertwined. But you weren’t the one keeping track.

“We used to come to this park all the time in high school, remember?” Shawn reminisced, holding out a swing for you. You slipped on and nodded for Shawn to get on the one next to you.

“I remember. I miss those nights. We were such kids.” You chuckled, digging your boot covered feet in the snow beneath you.

“Tell me about it.” Shawn scrunched his nose. “I had my first kiss here. I think it was 8th grade.”

“No way, me too!” You smiled, turning to Shawn. “Who was yours?”

“Betty Stevens. You?”

“Jordan.” You grimaced.

“What? No way!” Shawn laughed. “Does Aaliyah know?”

“Of course she does! I would never do that to her. It was spin the bottle back in 9th grade. He was super sweet about it, though.” You smiled, remembering him asking if you were okay with it.

Shawn scoffed. “Why the hell were a bunch of freshmen playing spin the bottle at a public park?”

“I honestly don’t remember.” You laughed. “Remember that bonfire we had at the beach one time. It was a bunch of your friends and Liyah and I tagged along. The one where Brian stripped and jumped into the freezing water. That’s one of my favorite memories, you know?”

“I remember that night. Me too, but the Brian part isn’t what makes it one of my favorite.” Shawn smiled, inching his swing closer to yours.

“Ugh, shut up. You know what I mean.” You rolled your eyes in response, hitting his boot with your own. “That night, when everyone left and it was just you, me, and Liyah. And we just talked all night long. Didn’t come home till the sun was up. I love that memory.”

“My mom got so mad at me that night. For keeping you guys out all night long to watch the sunrise.” Shawn chuckled, his hand now holding one chain from his swing and one from yours.

“You never told me that.”

"It didn’t matter because it was so worth it.” 

“Why is that?”

“Because you love watching the sunrise.”

You and Shawn walked back to the car, hand in hand. The drive home just as long as the drive to the theater, and just as full of butterflies. 

When you got home, you slowly unlocked the front door as to not wake anyone up. Tip toeing up the steps until you reached Aaliyah’s room.

“y/n?” Shawn whispered, taking both of your hands into his. “Do you wanna go on a date?”

“Like a date date?” You whispered back, eyes blown wide.

“Mhm, at the Auberge du Pommier. I know you’ve been wanting to go.” Shawn nodded.

“I have.” You replied.

“Friday at 8. Is that okay with you?” He asked.

“It’s perfect, Shawn. Thank you for coming with me tonight. I had a wonderful time.” You whispered, smile evident in your voice as it was concealed in the darkness.

“Me too.” Shawn leaned down and kissed you lightly on your lips. “Friday at 8. I’ll pick you up.”

And with that he walked down the hall and into his room. You slowly brought your hand up and traced your cupid’s bow. It was like your lips were on fire.

You slowly opened the door to Aaliyah’s room and sat down in her desk chair. You couldn’t believe it. This had to be a dream.

Your phone pinged and you numbingly took it out of your pocket. You had to read the screen a few times before your brain processed what was in front of you.

jordan: how did it go tonight?

you: it was good

jordan: good?

you: fine it was great

you: listen i need to ask you something

jordan: shoot

you: how did you know about the kiss?

jordan: well

jordan: he told me

You put your phone on the charger and began rummaging through Aaliyah’s closet to find something to sleep in.

Shawn told him. That means Shawn never forgot.

You climbed into bed next to Aaliyah, who was fast asleep until you did so. “Hey, you’re back. How did it go?”

“It was good. How about you?” You pulled the blanket Aaliyah was hogging and brought it up to your chin.

“It was really nice. We went to the cutest restaurant and they started playing our song as soon we got in. Felt like it was a sign from the universe.” Aaliyah smiled, eyes closing as she slowly drifted back to sleep.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Listen, if you still wanna go to the Pompadour restaurant, tell me so I can call in advance. You know how busy those types of restaurants get around Christmas.”

“Actually, I’m gonna go with Shawn next Friday.” 

It was like you flipped a switch because Aaliyah’s eyes flew wide open. “What?!”

“Shh, go to sleep. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

“You can’t just say that and expect me to fall asleep.” She groaned.

“Goodnight, Liyah.” You grinned.

You tossed and turned all night. Well not literally, otherwise Aaliyah would have murdered you. But you stayed up all night thinking about the kiss Shawn gave you before he went to his room. There was no way you could mistake it any longer. Shawn was definitely into you. You couldn’t believe it. 

You had managed to fall asleep for about an hour before the sun came up. The sunlight filtering in through the window woke you up, making you regret not closing the blinds the night before.

You grabbed your things and trudged downstairs. You grabbed a muffin from the breakfast table where Karen was already sitting. You gave her a hug and a wave goodbye and headed to your car.

As you sat down, you remembered you were almost fully out of gas. No way was the little bit left in the tank from last night going to be able to get you home.

You looked down at the gas gauge only to see your tank was completely full. You looked up and saw a sticky note on the rearview mirror.

figured something out for you -s

____________________

part 2

thankyou for reading my lovelies. i thought of this like a day ago or something idk but i also had bfb by victoria justice stuck in my head for a while so this is what came of it. pls dont forget to leave feedback! @shawncxlvins here it is love!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #329

“i keep it all inside because i know that man is everything but kind”

What is the best thing about your life right now? Uhhhhh... I guess from a realistic standpoint, my partial hospitalization program. I'm learning very important coping skills and have some social interaction almost every day. How was your second serious relationship different from your first? Did you approach relationships differently with some experience under your belt? My first serious relationship was made deeper than what was safe because I was 100% obsessed with him; meanwhile, with Sara, I feel I loved her in a wiser way and with a sense of self still present. I was definitely more hesitant to "let" myself fall in love again, though, and was very insecure at the start. Whose death affected you the most? My dog's, Teddy. What was the best time you’ve had with a complete stranger? I don't exactly make a habit of hanging out with complete strangers... Who has seen you at your absolute worst? How did your relationship change afterwards? Mom, Jason, Girt, and Colleen, probably. Girt showed up at the ER after my overdose (I was a dramatic fuck and wrote a suicide note on Facebook so I didn't just... go without telling some people things I definitely wanted to), and that's when my crush on him really kicked into gear again. He was and is just always there for me through everything. For Jason, I am quiiiiiiiite sure seeing me have an absolute catatonic breakdown the night of the breakup just pushed him away more. I probably looked crazy. Colleen also showed up at the ER after my suicide attempt, and it brought us closer. Then there's Mom, who's, you know, my mom, and my darkest times have always grown our incredible bond, too, because she would never fail to be there for me. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn is dope. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs. What color do you really want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, light/creamsicle orange, and silver, but there are more. What’s your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue or emerald green. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Um, I don't break into places. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Sara gets super squeaky, bouncy, and just in general wordlessly excited at reptile shows. Going with her to one is one of my favorite memories, mostly just by watching her. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Have I ever been (awake) with friends past 3AM...? Idk. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Not a coffee gal. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Sara. (: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Now THERE'S a fuckin question. I don't have the slightest idea. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Thunderstorms; definitely not. Have you ever been to a Pride festival? No, but I'd love to. How open are you with your parents? I don't tell everything to my dad (though I know I could), but I'm an open book with Mom. Is there anything you’re more open about on the internet (such as on LiveJournal) than you would be in “real life”? I guess my sexual history. I'm just in general pretty open online. What is the most petty thing you’ve ever done? Oh, I'm CERTAIN it involves Jason after the breakup, but I don't know the "most"... What is the longest you’d be willing to wait to have sex in a new relationship? I myself don't want to until we're clearly serious and long-term by that point, and I know for a fact they're in love with me like I am them. I don't care how long they want to wait, though. I said in a previous survey that sex just... isn't that important to me. It's not my most cherished form of intimacy. Who has had the most positive effect on your life? My mama. Are there any relatives that you are not on speaking terms with? What happened? Most of the family doesn't talk to my aunt's literally psychotic, manipulative fuck of an ex-husband. I don't feel like it's my business to share exactly what happened, but yeah, fuck him with a chainsaw. :^) Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? It was more like an open invitation to all of her friends, but I guess you could say Summer. I did. I honestly wanna hang out again. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine ones, yes: to 1.) test for UTIs and 2.) ensure I wasn't pregnant before surgery. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? Not every day, no. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I don't. It was probably something with few controls, like this Barbie horse riding game my sisters and I loved, or an Elmo game that we had on a demo disc. I think you had to follow a path on a pogo stick picking up letters? We had a PS1 when I was born, so that was my first. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? By "video," I'm going to assume you're not including the computer, in which case I think it was The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, which I was playing alone. It does have a two-player option though that I wanna do one day. The controls are definitely meant for two people. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There is no disc. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I always leave it on... Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Hm, I don't believe so. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? It was definitely some sort of graphic tee on Facebook, I'm sure. It was something with an opossum design and a short phrase. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? The most recent vet visit was when we got Roman neutered. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I DID fish, yeah. Not because I was afraid to touch the fish, but because I was afraid of nicking myself with the inevitably dirty hook. Did you go to daycare when you were little? Only very briefly; my incredible separation anxiety from my mom made it extremely difficult. She very quickly chose our neighbors as my and my sisters' babysitters. I could handle that because I loved "Uncle Donny," the granddad of the family, and I could see my house from their front door. He was/is (idk if he's still alive) a wonderful man. Do you know what you’d have been named had you been born the opposite sex? No. Would you ever visit a nude beach? NOOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Where is your favorite place to be kissed other than the usual place? Don't touch my neck if you don't have free time lmaooo. What is your favorite memory with one of your grandparents? I'm going to be completely honest: I have none that are exceptionally important to me. I only knew one grandmother most of my life, and we had a turbulent relationship. Would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships? Naaaaah son. What was the most drastic change you made to your appearance? Chopping 8+ inches of hair off. Is there anything you hope your significant other/future significant other never finds out about you? No. I don't want to keep secrets from them above all others. What are most of your Facebook posts about? If you're talking things I actually compose myself and not share, probably pictures of my pets, haha. Or small statements regarding political issues or mental health. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? The beat. Who was the last person you got into a small argument with? Probably my mom, idk. How warm do you like your showers/baths to be? Pretty hot. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained... and I'd rather not share. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue, but it's old. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? The neighbors at my childhood home had two wonderful rottweilers, but one day they got loose and killed at least one of our kittens. It died in my hands. Mom was fucking livid and sobbing. Besides this occasion though, we got along with them. How much alone time is too much for you before you start going crazy and want to be around people? It depends on the day, really, and how entertained I am in my alone time. Generally, one day of total isolation (from people, anyway) is enough for me to want my mom's company at least or to be texting Sara. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? A pizza roll burned my tongue just a tad. Honestly, are you shallow? Not at all. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? S N A K E S ! ! ! I could LIVE on the Morph Market website and "window shop." I love planning out the next morph I'm most interested in adopting. If you have/had any facial piercings, what side are they on? Any reason you chose that side? If you don’t have any, if you had to get a facial piercing what would it be and what side would it be on? I have a vertical labret on my lower lip that goes directly down the center of my face. I chose it because I love the symmetry. I've had my right nostril pierced twice, just because I preferred that side for whatever reason. What, would you say, is your sexiest/most provocative article of clothing? I don't own anything like that. I have zero interest in showing off my body. Do/did you have attendance problems in school? I was notoriously tardy for the first class of the day a lot because I was an absolute beast to drag out of bed all the way up to college. Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? Mom did. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Where the Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf is a strong one. I played it again and again the day Teddy was put down, even before we went to go euthanize him. It was my inspiration to one day spread his ashes at Yellowstone in wolf territory. As much as I'd love to keep his ashes forever, like, what happens after I die? And my sisters? Eventually, that container will lose meaning and probably be discarded, so I want to return him to nature. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No close ones. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? Idk. Does your Mom eat meat? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? THICK. Thin crust is an utter disappointment. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. Who has the prettiest middle name you know? Ha, I mention Alon a lot when it comes to beauty... I can't remember what it is, but I do know hers wins. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? No. It makes me go to bed earlier. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are there any shows that your friends seem to be obsessed with, but that you just don’t get? Oh, loads. How old was the last child that you spoke to? She's six. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, for one. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends, but generally kinda far. Do you always smile for pictures? With other people, yes. Some selfies, no, but usually. What are you most excited about right now? my MOTHERFUCKIN tattoo appointment in MAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window seat, zero doubts. Where would you like to volunteer? I wanna help at an animal rehab. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry and grain granola bar thing. How do you find new music? Usually YouTube recommendations. What’s your favorite city? I don't have one. What makes your bedroom special to you and what is your favorite part about it? It's a total nests of my various interests. My favorite part is my meerkat collection. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? God no. I haven't shaved my legs since October lmao. Would you get married if you could right now? Definitely not right now. I don't have a job or my own place. What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)? Chokers. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was wholeheartedly in love with him. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I've never stayed in a bad one, to my recollection. Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No. Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? A turtle for a little while, yes. Don't do that. Ever win first place for something? Yeah, a few things. What was the last thing you fell off of? Idk. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? The style in which Johnny Got His Gun is written is very confusing, but you adapt to understand it. Jumping back and forth from the past to the present can give ya some metaphorical whiplash. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Has anyone ever called your personality dull? Do you agree with them? No. Have you ever personally witnessed a drug deal before? Possibly. Ever have an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I can't remember what they were checking for, but I was fine. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Colleen's house, yes. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? Nope; got no interest. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if it's cool out, in which case yeah. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Not anymore. I just think about the terrified animals (wild and pets alike) and traumatized veterans. Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yeah. Creepy fuckers. How long was your first relationship? I actually don't remember how long Aaron and I were together... other than it was just a few months. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad, generally speaking. Romantically, Jason. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I don’t know. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yeah. What did the last key you used go to? The car's trunk. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I honestly do wish I remembered my "first time" because that's a pretty big deal to me. What’s your biggest priority right now? My mental health. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? I've done that numerous times, and given there was nothing good on the TV ever, I just slept time away or read. Since every time I was suicidal, there were very, very few things you were allowed to have. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW no. Are your hands unsteady? Yes; I have what's called an essential tremor in both. Are your legs long or short? They're proportional to my body. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never done it. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yeah, my sisters in the past. Is there anything you need to talk about with someone? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? My mom. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Korn. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Maybe snakebites. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? Nah. I only ever really did once or twice when I had snake eyes. Honestly, have you ever purchased something, worn it, and then returned it? Possibly? If you could have your own house anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains in a nicely wooded area with a waterfall close by. It'd be nice to have a small stream or pond too to sit or swim in. If you could create a holiday - what would it be? I wish the legalization of gay marriage in America was a legitimate holiday. Are you shy about singing in front of people? OHHHHH YES. Do you own a robe? Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No.

[awrldalone]

23rd July 2020, 10.45am

Yesterday I meant to write something, but it’s kinda hard to write at two a.m. once you get back from the beach. 

Yesterday morning I went to the post office - another one than the one I previously talked about, it was much less crowded. The employee was kind of rude to me, she basically scolded me because my package was not closed properly. She told me to go back home and close it well. 

Since I did not want to do that, I drove my bike up to this small stationary shop and I bought tape there. Sitting on the ground - I was in a secondary street where no one ever goes - I taped perhaps excessively my two packages.

Then I got back on my bike and I finally managed to ship those book. In the end, that same employee even smiled at me. Maybe she was having a bad day.

I hate to think about working for the state. Just the thought of being a part of the capitalist machine makes my skin crawl. But I guess everyone has to do something to get by. I just hope my future job won’t be some corporate bullshit.

Yesterday night, I went to a party - I know what you’re thinking, quite irresponsible of me because of coronavirus, but you have to understand that here in Italy we have reopened basically everything, and this party was literally fifteen people. 

We went to the beach, I only knew three people and the fourth one I knew who was supposed to come did not make it in time because she was coming back from Budapest. Yes, Budapest. I do not know how that happened or why she was in Budapest, to be honest. 

The other people were either complete strangers or people with whom I talked twice in my life. I was pretty anxious, at first, but then when we started drinking something things got better. This one girl, M., was kind of clingy, and two boys were kind of cute. 

I was also pretty worried because my stupid stupid self had not eaten. That might have not been my brightest moment, especially because I had to get back home and could not stay out all night, as my sister is back from the mountains, where she was with my grandma, and I have to take care of her. She’s nine, I would never leave her alone, and neither would our parents.

I ate popcorn. It was the only food we had, but it did the job. 

I tried Malibu. It was too sweet. Not my thing. I did a couple of shots, nothing too crazy. I hate how certain alcohol tastes at first. Then it gets better and it warms up your stomach.

At around midnight I left and took a bus, then I took a vaporetto and I finally got home. 

And then I stayed up until god knows when because I might like this boy. 

It’s months that I think I might like him, but I’m reluctant to admit it because we live far away. He’s Italian too, but distance is something I cannot deal with. 

But he’s nice and lovely and we have the same interests. He knows I like him and he told me he doesn’t. That kind of broke me, when he told me a couple of months ago, because he said I’d be his perfect boyfriend if he wasn’t asexual. I do not want to invalidate his sexuality but the fact that two days later he literally started talking about this crush of his really hurt me. Alas, now we’re just friends. Good friends, I guess. 

I really want to meet him. As soon as we can we probably will. We were supposed to finally meet up, but I could not make it. We had decided to trade books. I wanted to do that in person, but two of our mutual friends - who live much much closer to me and with whom i was supposed to go - did the job.

The fact that he now owns my copy of The Catcher in the Rye - my favourite book ever - makes my heart pound. I still don’t have the book he wanted to give me because I haven’t met up with the person he gave it to, but it still means a lot to me.

Today I’m home with my sister. She’s doing homework and I’m about to do some too. It’s ten years of One Direction so we’re listening to my favourite songs from them and I’m getting kind of emotional.

To be honest, I am not their biggest fan anymore - I love Harry’s solo projects, Niall and Louis’s are good too - but when I was in middle school I was completely obsessed. 

I cried when they broke up. Or, as some directioners like to think about it, when they went into hiatus. 

Here’s a small playlist of their songs that mean the most to me:

Olivia

Best Song Ever

Perfect

What Makes You Beautiful (obviously)

Fireproof

Little Black Dress

They Don’t Know About Us

Kiss You

Temporary Fix

Na Na Na

More Than This

-c.