#today has been so fucked up and it’s only 4pm but it’s alright. It’s okay . my friends mean the absolute world to me

[serenadeofsunshine]

What if i started bawling my eyes out. then what

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 14

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst 

WC: 2754

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘shower sex’ square for @spnkinkbingo​​​​​ Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​​​​​ <3

This series is more than two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean’s in his office with Cas. Two security guys are sitting on the couch. The police came  again to ask questions, and they just left a moment ago.

He walks to the little bar and pours himself a whiskey. Is 4pm too early to drink? Yeah, it probably is, but he doesn’t really fucking care. 

And he woke up feeling so damn good, seeing her dancing naked in his apartment. He watched her doing a victory dance, felt like he had a victory of his own — it went downhill from there. Well, apart from the morning sex. And the second morning sex in the shower. That was pretty memorable, if he’s honest. He thinks back to how he pushed her up against the tiles, pushes his cock into her. Thinks about how she comes around his cock, how her nails claw into his back, marking him up. He lets her down and turns her around then, pushes her against the glass of the shower, slips into her again, bottoming out and fucking her while he spanks her ass raw. He wishes that he could turn back time. Just a little.

Nonetheless, the morning left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Can’t lie, he was quite irritated that she already found an apartment, and almost wanted to tell her not to take it. But what can he do about it really? Nothing. It is what it is, and well, it’s not like they will stop seeing each other. Because he’s not giving that up so easily.

It’s just—

—he can’t even really explain it. It’s not like he experienced anything like it before either. If Dean had to describe it, he’d say that it’s the feeling of wanting to spend 24/7 with her and only her , and that pisses him off because he has to be a fucking adult about it. It’s especially rubbing him the wrong way, now knowing that someone is after him — and by proxy is after her as well — and he’d just rather know at all fucking times that she’s alright.

Cas is still laughing his ass off and that just makes him grumpier. 

“Cas, you done there?” Dean snarls at his friend and sits down on the couch with a groan. Sex twice this morning is taking a toll on him too. He’s not seven-fucking-teen anymore.

“It’s funny when you think about it, no?” Cas tries his best to suppress his grin.

Cas is laughing about the fact that the police want the list of people who hold a grudge against Dean. Which is probably longer than he cares to admit, hence Cas’ stupid laugh. 

It’s Dean’s own fault really, he wasn’t exactly known as the golden boy growing up. And even in the business world, he had more beef with people than not. There’s a long list of displeased women as well, and Dean doesn’t even know all their names. 

So now, instead of maybe spending the evening with her, Dean has to fucking write up a list to hand over to the police as soon as possible. 

Great. 

That’s just what he needs today. 

*

Dean’s still on that fucking list and it’s 11pm. He was supposed to take a night off — at least that’s what he told Cas, because he wants to be with her as long as she’s staying with him. He remembers her saying that she’s going into work in the evening because Rufus wants to talk about the article she’s writing about his club. They actually never talked about it again. Dean’s not sure if she’s going to write it at all. 

But he’s almost finished with the list, so there’s that. Maybe another hour — if he’s lucky. 

He decides to take a short break and send her a text.

  D: Are you upstairs? Sorry, it’s going to be a while longer till I’m finished.

  Watching his screen, he sees that she’s reading it, sees her typing back a reply.

  Y/N: Don’t worry about it. Just finishing up.

D: Should I come pick you up?

  He kinds of hopes that she’ll say yes. Dean thinks that he could use a distraction. Writing up names of people who might want bad things to happen to him is not exactly a joyous task.

  Y/N: Don’t worry, Rufus will drop me off. I’ll see you later!

  Right, so back to the list it is. Dean sighs before he gets up to pour himself another whiskey.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?” Rufus asks. His desk is right across from hers.

“Why? Does my smile irritate you?” Y/N’s smirking as she looks at her supervisor.

“Damn well, it irritates me!” Rufus shouts and she flinches but his face softens afterwards, lips pulling into a smile, “It’s that Winchester boy, isn’t it?”

“Nah,” She’s quick to say, and Rufus chuckles. She knows he doesn’t believe her.

“Have you thought about the article yet?” He says, sitting back in his chair. 

They’ve been discussing it before and he leaves it up to her. She doesn’t know why he asks again. She can’t possibly have made up her mind after six hours. Y/N needs more time than that.

“I don’t know,” She sighs, “I’ll meet Mrs. Mills in two days. I’ll let her speak, let her explain and try to understand her side of things.” 

That’s new to Rufus. He was on a break when she talked to Jody Mills.

Rufus nods, “You know that you can pull out of it, I gave you the permission to.”

“I know. Thanks, Rufus.” 

She hears him clicking on his mouse, hears the computer being shut down. 

He stands up, “You’re happy Y/N, I can tell.”

She gnaws on her bottom lip and it spreads into a smirk, “I am,”

“Good. That’s good,” Rufus says, picking up his suit jacket to put it on, “I love seeing you happy. I don’t even think I’ve seen you happy. And if it’s all that Winchester boy’s doing, I’d say that you should keep him close. He’s a good one, I can tell. He was being all proper when I talked to him last.”

She has to smile at that, because yeah, it sounds like Dean. He always has a way to charm himself out of any kind of situation. It’s frustrating really, because the teachers let him get away with so much. Especially the female teachers. 

“Seriously, Y/N,” Rufus says as he waits for her to pick up her things to drive her to Dean’s, “I mean it. If anyone deserves a little happiness, it’s you. And if he should cross you, let me know, I have five dogs and some friends.” 

“I will,” She snorts, has to hold back a laugh. But it’s cute and she really appreciates Rufus’s protectiveness over her.

 *

 Y/N decides to drop by his office before going up to the loft. She finds Dean hunched over his desk, his head rests on his arms. 

Approaching carefully, she reaches out a hand, touches his shoulder and Dean jolts up. In that moment, his computer screen comes back to life as well. She really didn’t want to look but she couldn’t not notice the list of names. Male and female ones alike. She’s curious what it’s about, but again, it’s not really her place to ask. The title of the document says Potential Leads . Her trained eyes can not unsee that. 

Dean sits up straight, pinches at the bridge of his nose and then he rolls his chair back and grabs at her wrist, pulling her sideways into his lap with a force that makes her squeal in delight. She ends up giggling on his lap while Dean kisses the tip of her nose, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

“How are you?” He asks, his hand strokes at her thigh while the other one tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. He lets his fingertips travel over her cheeks and her nose, as if her face is written in braille and he wants to memorize and read every word.

“Good,” She answers him and leans down, buries her forehead into the crook of his neck, scruff rough on her skin. She smells his cologne, his musk from the day. Her nose brushes against his throat and she nuzzles her face deeper into it while he wraps his arms around her, “Not as tired as you, apparently,” She says with a smirk.

It feels good being with him, and she can’t help to fall for Dean. It’s just a couple of days but it feels right, it feels like she’s found the piece of the puzzle she’s been missing growing up. She wonders if it’ll stay good. Good things never last in her life. She can’t help but feel a little sad that she’s going to move out, even though it's what she wants. Although it’s convenient this way. It’s convenient to come home to him and they get to see each other without having to schedule anything. Without having to send out texts and making calls, asking when they both will be free or available. 

Oh well, one can’t have it all, she knows that.

Dean tilts his head, leaves a lingering kiss on her forehead, “Yeah, I’m tired. Why don’t you go up and I’ll finish here. I promise I won’t be long.”

She sits up, looks him in the eye. They’re weary. There’s clearly something that bothers him, “Is something wrong?” She asks, because she can not not ask. 

“Nah,” He sighs and places his lips to her temple.

They sit in silence for a little while until Dean starts to speak again, “I get threats every now and then but lately, it increased and they damaged some property. The police just want some names, but it’s really nothing for you to be worried about, okay?”

She frowns and Dean thumbs at the crease between her eyebrows, “Is that common in your line of work?” 

Dean snorts, “Yeah, pretty much. There are a lot of jealous people,” He pulls her closer, hugging her tighter and rests his chin on the top of her head, “I can deal with it, but it’s a whole different story if you’re involved.”

Her ear is on his chest and she hears the bass of his voice vibrating. 

“‘S that why you’re worried about my safety?” 

“Uh-huh,”

Y/N takes time to think and then it dawns on her, “You think the break in of my apartment has something to do with it?”

He breathes evenly but she can hear his heartbeat picking up pace, “I don’t know. I don’t think so, and I hope it was just a coincidence.” With his next breath he adds, “I’m sorry, it’s just… I never had a woman as close to me as you are now, and I guess that makes you a target and my Achilles heel. In hindsight, I should have never taken you to the party. I’m sorry about that.” He kisses the top of her head. 

She doesn’t really care about the threats, though. All she heard was the fact that he said that she’s the first woman that’s been close to him. She wants to ask him if it’s true. If she’s the first one who has got to know the real Dean. If she’s the first one he really cares about. But she doesn’t ask, thinks it’s not really the right time.

“‘S okay,” She says, nuzzles her face deeper into the base of his throat, “I’m a big girl. I can handle what life throws at me.” 

“I know that,” Dean chuckles, “But I would be super bummed if you were to be harmed.”

Y/N frowns, “You think they will go that far?”

Dean shrugs, “I don’t know. Fact is, you’re my girl, and I need you to be careful out there, alright?”

My girl.

Her heart flutters at that. 

She chuckles softly and Dean pushes her away a little, 

“What?” He asks but he’s smirking.

Still grinning, she says, “You said I’m your girl,”

He smiles and tucks her hair behind both her ears with his hands, leaves them on the side of her face, cradling it between his big palms, “That’s because you are,” He moves closer, their noses touch, lips ghosting over each others, “Wouldn’t want to have any other,” He kisses her, soft and gently, tongue teasing along her teeth. She tastes whiskey on the tip of his tongue.

Just when she wants to melt into the kiss, Dean breaks it abruptly, “You should go up so I can finish this. If you stay, I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself.” 

Chuckling, she kisses his nose and gets up from his lap. 

It’s an hour later when Dean finishes and he’s so goddamn tired, he almost crawls along the floor to his loft. Lack of sleep last night and being on edge the whole day does weird things to your body. 

He finds her in bed, laying on her stomach, reading. And she’s wearing only panties. Dean shrugs off his jacket right by the door, drops it and begins to unbutton his shirt while he strolls closer to the bed. Next he works on his pants and leaves a trail of clothes along the way. 

When he’s standing by the foot of the bed, he’s only dressed in his underwear and his dick stirs in his pants. He tries his best to ignore it. 

Dean crawls up to her, spreads kisses on both her ass cheeks and rests his head on it, using her butt as a comfortable pillow, “So tired,” He groans and she chuckles. Her hand reaches behind to thread through the top of his head and Dean leans into the touch, bathes himself in the feel. 

Before he can make himself too comfortable, he pushes himself away, “I’m taking a quick shower,” 

He showers real quick, still ignoring his dick that’s already hard and heavy, because that’s not what he wants right now — which is weird because it’s almost always what he wants. Guess she changed him.

Dean walks out, his body still damp, a pair of fresh underwear on, and crawls into bed. She’s already waiting, has abandoned her book and is curled up on her side. He spoons her from behind and she turns herself, curls against his side and buries her face into the crook of his neck. He feels her naked chest pressing against his. 

When she looks up to him, Dean steals a kiss, kissing her forehead while he tucks her hair behind her ear. His thumb paints along her eyebrow, her nose, down to her lips. He kisses her, all soft and smooth, the hand that’s on her waist kneads her flesh. 

She bucks her hips, grinding her lower body against him and he has to chuckle. She’s a needy little thing but he’s not going to give in. Instead, he manhandles her around, buries his face into the nape of her neck, spraying kisses there, “Baby, we should get some sleep,” 

Y/N whines at that, backs up her ass into his bulge but Dean’s hand is on her waist, holds her steady. After a while, she gives up. 

He’s stroking her with one hand while she lies in his arm, hand travelling over bumpy territory, trying to memorize her every crease and every bump with the tip of his fingers. He listens to her steady heartbeat, listens to her breathing even out. 

No, sex is definitely not the only thing he wants with her. He wants all the other things right now, and he doesn’t even know himself anymore. It’s different with her. He doesn’t want her to think that it’s only about the club. That it’s only about the rooms he shows her. 

Dean thinks that everyone can like the wonderful part of a person. The trick is to accept their flaws. In this short time, he has learned to accept her flaws, can honestly and truly say that he can work with them, can work around them, can make something out of it. The good things, he knows, will always be there. It’s the things underneath that are challenging. But it’s a challenge he’s ready to face. 

Fuck , Dean thinks to himself, he’s falling fast down the rabbit hole that is her and even though it should scare him—

—strangely, it doesn’t.

Chapter 15

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Couch Chats

A/N: Right, so I started writing this a month or so back. I stuck a pin in it because I had a whole mental breakdown (tm). And had to get to a space where I didn’t feel like shit day-to-day. Yes, I am in fact therapizing myself through my OC, using my favorite character. I’m doing better. I also promise I’ll start the full BNHA series, I just gotta finish the first chapter.

Tag List: @super-predictable98, @myherokatsuki​

Juniper walked into Art History class, the last one of the day, looking a lot less enthusiastic than usual. She was usually first into the class, notes open, pencil in hand, ready to write down anything. Today, however, she trudged in with everyone else, slumping into her seat. Midnight took note of JJ, and put a mental pin in it, and started her class.

“Today, we’re going to be talking about Surrealism, and its impact during its time, as well as how it has influenced art of this day and age. Does anyone want to tell me what surrealism is?” she asked, looking at her students.

“Not even you, Juniper?” Midnight prompted, looking tenderly towards one of her prized pupils.

“Uh, yeah sorry... Surrealism is a type of art that some artists began using after World War I, it helped them to express what was on their mind in a non-realistic way.” they replied, still looking down.

“Very good. Now we’ll be getting into the key artists who used surrealism as well-.” her voice faded out.

  JJ zoned out for the rest of the class, only writing down a page worth of notes, compared to her usual 4 or 5. “I can just ask Midoriya for the rest of them back in the dorms.” Everything was on her mind, and the constant pestering of “He’ll probably be fucking disgusted with me.” “Why can’t I be normal like everyone else?” plagued their mind. It was until Mina tapped her on the shoulder, signaling that class had ended, and the sound of Iida’s hand chopping through the air, warning everyone not to run in the halls, that she woke up from her hellscape of a mind.

“Come on JJ, class is over! We’re having a movie night in the dorms tonight too, remember?” she cheered, a smile on her face.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I’ll be there in a jiffy.” they mumbled, Mina tilting her head at their choice of expression “another one of those random ass phrases”. 

  Juniper slowly packed their stuff up, rubbing their hands on their face. She glanced outside for a moment, At least the sun is out. They thought, knees cracking as they stood up. Midnight was at her desk, typing something out on her laptop. Just as they were walking out of the door, she spoke.

“JJ, dear, could you come here for a second.” they turned around and stood in front of her desk. “You’re not in trouble. You just seemed really down today, and I know that you’re usually really enthusiastic in my class. Is there something going on?” she asked, looking up.

“Are you sure you want to hear about it? I don’t want to be a bother or anything.” they asked, thumb fraying the handle of their bag.

“I’m sure. If you don’t want to talk about it here, you can come to my office, or I can come to the dorms and we can chat there. I can give you some time to get the school stuff off and get anybody out of the common area.” she offered, closing her laptop.

“The dorms work better. I’ll be ready in about an hour.” they muttered, a hint of a grin coming onto their face.

  Juniper practically ran out of the doors of the campus, wind carrying them along. They panicked a bit because everyone may have already been in the common room for the movie “It’s literally 4PM, everyone is either napping or in their rooms de-compressing.” Okay, it’s game time, they thought as they reached the doors, shaking any extra leaves off.

“Hey JJ, you alright?” Mina asked, sitting on the kitchen counter, snack in hand.

“Kinda. Midnight’s supposed to be coming over in like 55 minutes or so to talk with me, so if you could get everyone out of the common room, that’d be good. It’s my turn to bake anyways, so those can be your payment for helping me.” she offered, smirking at their close friend.

“Fine. They better be chocolate chip.” she replied, shooting a text to the class group chat.

  Juniper took a quick shower before throwing a hoodie on, and tackling her homework headfirst.

  Before they knew it, there was a hefty knock on the door, followed by a “Hey dumbass, your therapist is here!” Juniper almost tripped over their bed, and sped down the hallway, taking a fleeting glance at Denki’s room.

“Ah, Juniper, you’re here.” Midnight praised, her hero attire gone, replaced by a knit sweater and leggings.

  They smiled, and took a seat next to her, feet tucked behind one of the cushions.

“So...what’s been bothering you?” she asked, folding her hands over her lap.

“I’ve just been very frustrated recently. After the USJ attacks, I just feel like I can’t breathe. Bad things keep happening, and they don’t stop happening. I can’t sleep well most nights because of my quirk, so I’m asleep during class and missing material. And even when I’m wide awake, nothing clicks in my brain. It’s just fog. I’ve tried countless types of studying and tricks, but none of it works. I’m only good at English and your class.” they muttered, picking at their hands.

“But those won’t help me if I’m fighting a very, very specific type of villain. If I overuse my quirk, I’m a shell of a person. If I train too hard, oops, every part of my body is aching, and it’s not like I can sleep that off. And on top of all of that, my sexuality just changed. Out of nowhere. So I’m grappling with being even more out of the loop. I just feel so....lost. And tired. And angry.”

“That’s a lot. I just want to say, up front. You’re a great student. And you have an amazing heart. I understand that everything’s been stressful. You were on the frontlines of the defense team at the USJ attack. You didn’t have to risk your life, yet you jumped into action. And yes, you walked away hurt and traumatized. I wish I could take it away, I do. You all are kids training to be heroes. Not risking your lives by attending schools.” she readjusted herself, tucking her knees under her body.

“I’m proud of you for telling me that you’re ace though. It sometimes takes a lot to be able to tell someone that. And it’s also stressful to have a sudden change in something you were sure of.” she grabs JJ’s hands, and looks into her eyes. 

 “It doesn’t make you any less valid, or queer. You aren’t a liar for having your feelings change. I need you to know that, and truly understand it. You’ve got this, I know you do. And I know everything is hard. School is more than difficult. But you can do this. I know you can. And I know I’m not supposed to say it, but....you’re one of my favorites.” Midnight whispers, patting JJ’s shoulder.

   From around the corner, JJ hears footsteps. She sees a patch of pink hair, and more hushed whispers.

                                                    CRACK

“Mina, I thought everyone was supposed to be in their rooms until I gave the all clear.”

  Mina gets pushed to the ground, from someone out of Juniper’s sight, but based on the sleeve....it was probably Denki.

“I know! I’m sorry. Bakugou got hungry, and then he got cranky. I was trying to hold him back.” she apologized, bowing.

  JJ lets out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. She felt a very strong urge to start a thunderstorm.

“I promise.. you got this kid. You’ll be okay.”

  Bakugou finally stormed out of the hallway, yanking the kitchen cabinets open with a grunt. Kirishima followed closely, shyly waving at Midnight and JJ.

“Well, I guess I’m done here! I wouldn’t want to stay too long, especially since it’s a Friday night! You kids have fun!” Midnight says awkwardly, standing from the couch, knees cracking.

 JJ gives her one final smile before she leaves, and turns to be greeted by Midoriya, who gave her an unexpected bear hug. They melted into it, face snuggling in his neck. God he smells good.

“I know you’ve been feeling not great. And it looked like you needed a hug. And since you didn’t shock or burn me, I’m assuming that you’re okay with me doing that.” he muttered into their shoulder, thumbs fiddling with each other.

“Thanks Midoriya. I appreciate it.” JJ admits, although slightly muffled. Her eyes threatened to tear up as Midoriya when he squeezed them tighter, letting out a deep breath.

“Oh, uh....you can call me Izuku. I’m okay with you calling me that.” he whispered, breaking the hug.

“Hmm....Izuku it is.”

                                               ~Later that night~

“I TOLD YOU IT WAS TIME TO TAKE THEM OUT DUMBASS.” Bakugou shouted, hands popping off.

“DON’T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, YOU LOW-RENT EXCUSE OF A FIRECRACKER!” JJ shouted back, raising a cast iron skillet above their head.

“Okay, time out, both of you.” Iida said, bringing out the tiny chairs the dorms offered.

“We all might need to pick up a job.” JJ muttered, taking a bite out of an apple, still sitting in the chair.

“Why makes you say that, Juniper, hmm?” Midoriya teased, poking their shoulder.

“To cover his funeral expenses.”

Masterlist

[benedictscanvas]

all the wrong places [3/7] - spencer reid x reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: It only takes a moment for Spencer to realise that he doesn’t just want to marry you someday, he wants to marry you as soon as he possibly can. But since he can’t come up with a solid plan, he turns to his BAU family for help in planning the most important day of his life so far. Is that a mistake? Most definitely.

Warnings: Series probably aren’t meant to be exclusively fluffy, but this one practically is! I need some fluff in my life, damn it! There may be some mention of regular Criminal Minds things, some language but mostly just good ol’ Spence lovin’

a chapter every day for seven days! (20-26th July 2020) so please drop an ask if you’d like to be tagged <3

---

Chapter Three - Flash Failure

Third time’s a charm?

No, turns out third time’s a fucking nightmare.

Penelope? A complete liability. Whilst Spencer knew she was an amazing friend and he couldn’t imagine any of the team’s lives without her, he also now knew that allowing her to help him with the proposal plans was not his finest moment. Allowing her was too strong a word: he had simply not stopped her.

“You booked what?”

“A flash mob! And they’re coming over to the downstairs gym later today to practice with you, make sure you know your section of the dance.”

His section? Of the dance?

“I’m not sure about this, babygirl,” Derek’s voice was wary, and if Derek was worried about it, then it must really have been one of Penelope’s outlandish ideas. But she had been so excited about Spencer proposing ever since she’d found out against his will, and when she begged to at least help with the proposal somehow, it wasn’t as if Spencer had the heart to say no.

“And why would that be, my most delicious chocolate thunder? You don’t trust me now, huh?”

“You know I trust you in every way imaginable,” he said with a wink, because they could flirt even when Spencer was clearly breaking down in the corner of the batcave, “But Spencer has messed up two perfectly easy proposals now. You think he’ll nail this one?”

“I haven’t messed them up!” Spencer said defensively, his voice just a little too high pitched, “Okay, I messed one of them up, but the other one was a terrible idea provided by JJ.”

He half expected JJ to turn the corner right at that moment to scold him, but instead there was a very familiar knocking pattern at the door that caused Spencer’s heart to drop. He pushed Garcia’s shoulder until she closed all the proposal (and wedding) tabs on the computer. On all the computers.

“Can I join the top secret batcave meeting?” your voice rang out as just your head poked round the side of the door, and Spencer’s heart melted at the fact that you really weren’t going to come in unless you were told you could.

“Hi sweetheart,” he said encouragingly, as Derek and Penelope both flashed you a signature very-not-guilty, nothing-at-all-is-going-on-here, smiles. You didn’t seem to pay them any attention, smiling widely at Spencer with abandon as you entered the room.

“Hi,” you said brightly, and Derek and Penelope would be annoyed that you’d practically ignored their presence if they weren’t kind of used to it. When you and Spencer were in a room together, 90% of the time there was no one that could tear you away from each other. The other 10% was all on cases, where your attention was elsewhere, but there would still be times that the two of you bouncing theories around would completely miss something else that had been said.

“What brings you to my lair, my dear?” Penelope asked you from her chair, which she was lightly spinning around in. You managed to turn your attention to her, and bit your lip sheepishly.

“Actually, I’ve been looking for Spence here. Wondered if he might like to join me for a very romantic lunch?”

“You’ve got a consult you want my opinion on?” he asked instantly and you groaned, pouting.

“Why couldn’t I just want to spend lunchtime with my very special boyfriend?” you say wistfully, but when he gave you that look, you huffed and relented, “Fine, I’ve got a consult I could use your expert advice on. But, I did buy you takeout to sweeten the deal?”

He shook his head, his previous proposal anxieties almost forgotten as he walked up to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“You’re enough to sweeten any deal, sugar,” he said in his best Derek voice, the man himself scoffing behind him as Penelope laughed hysterically. You were giggling too under his arm, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth as Spencer led you out of the room, “Let’s go. See you later, guys.”

“Yes. 4pm in the gym for our session remember, Reid?”

“I’m not coming!” he shouted back at the two of them, already having left.

Penelope looked up at Derek as he sat on the desk above her.

“He’s definitely coming.”

“Oh yeah. He wouldn’t risk making you angry, babygirl.”

---

Actually, Spencer absolutely would risk making Garcia angry, if the other option was participating in a flash mob style dance to ‘Marry You’ by Bruno Mars before getting down on one knee in front of your chair and proposing as if what he’d just done wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

He returned to the batcave after assisting you on your consult, providing important information about a few chemical concoctions that had come into play on the case, and told Garcia on no uncertain terms that she was to cancel whatever she had planned and that he’d be doing this on his own. She reacted relatively well, even if she was a little bummed. When he promised to tell her whatever he decided to do ahead of time, she perked up a little.

So when she scurried up to his desk at the end of the day, heels clacking loudly on the floor, he never expected there to be a problem.

“We have a problem,” she said under her breath, glancing over at Hotch’s office in which you were currently sat, going over your recent performance in a routine appraisal. You’d be out in five minutes, at most. The glance she spared towards you worried Spencer more than anything.

“What kind of problem?”

“A huge one. One that I cannot explain, nor can I fix unless you and your genius brain can come up with something incredible because as it is, I’m freaking out right now.”

“Okay, Garcia, you’re going to have to try to explain it.”

“Well, maybe I can explain it,” she admitted, bobbing quietly in her place beside his desk, “But I’m not sure I want to.”

Her voice was small. Timid. She was never like this. Derek clearly noticed it too, as did Emily, since both of them came over quickly.

“Everything alright, babygirl?” Derek asked, a comforting hand on her shoulder and she reached up to put her hand over his, nuzzling into it a little. Spencer was getting more agitated by the second.

“No,” she said warily, then suddenly she ripped Derek’s hand away from her, “And I don’t deserve your comfort!”

Emily and Derek both looked dumbfounded, but Spencer stood up and took her by the elbows.

“Tell me what it is,” he said softly, but with a firm tone that she couldn’t argue against, “Whatever it is, we’ll fix it.”

She took a deep breath.

“Iforgottocanceltheflashmobandthey’reoutsiderightnow.”

“What?” it was all three of the others who said it. She sighed.

“I forgot to cancel the flash mob-” she said slowly, “-because Derek sent me a text right after you left my cave earlier. So they’re outside right now, with a huge picture of Y/N, waiting for her to exit the building which will trigger the...dancing.”

A pause.

“This better be a joke.”

“Oh god, just look out the window,” Garcia said sadly, resigned to her fate of the resident genius being immeasurably annoyed with her for the foreseeable future.

All four of them rushed over to the windows, even though Emily was only just starting to get an idea of what was happening. Sure enough, there was the mob. It truly was a mob too, at least fifty of them, with a huge picture of you on posterboard in the middle, all in colourful clothing. And there was a speaker. A large speaker.

“Fuck,” Spencer said, all matter of fact, no attempt to hide his language or keep it down.

“Yeah,” Derek breathed, eyes still on the ground, “How did you forget to cancel, Penelope?”

She whined, probably at him using her first name.

“You’re the one who sent me that particularly sexy text! What was I supposed to do? Not reply straight away?”

“Yes, Garcia,” Spencer said, sitting back down at his desk and putting his head in his hands, “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. You were supposed to cancel that group of dancing idiots so I wouldn’t make a complete fool of myself in front of the woman I want to marry and then - then you could reply to Derek’s text.”

His voice was defeated. He couldn’t believe it. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this? There were other exits out of the building, most of them emergency exits, but they were still in the way of the car park. There was no way of getting out of this building without you seeing the mob outside, without seeing the gigantic picture of you on the sidewalk.

“This will not be the most helpful comment,” Emily piped up suddenly, coming over and crouching in front of Spencer’s hunched over frame, “But I have to say - I’m so happy for you and Y/N, Reid. You should have told me you were going to propose!”

“Oh yes, so you could offer the same kind of stellar advice I’ve received so far.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have suggested a mob,” she mumbled, earning her a sharp glance from Derek. Penelope was already feeling bad enough.

“Right, come on,” Derek said, more enthusiastically, “We have to make a plan. Y/L/N will be out of her meeting in no time, and asking you if you want to head home. What are you going to do?”

“Me?”

“Okay, okay - what are we going to do?”

“Yeah, we can help,” Emily said encouragingly, “We’re all in this together Reid. Maybe you should just take the opportunity and propose?”

“I am not proposing to Y/N in a flash mob!” he said, suddenly animated as he looked up, “You know how much she hates too much fuss. She’d hate it, and then, as a byproduct of that, she would hate me too and-”

“Y/N could never hate you, Spencer,” Emily said kindly, interrupting his worried rambles, “But if this isn’t the way you pictured it, that’s fine. We just have to get Y/N to your car, that’s it. So how can we do it?”

“Couldn’t Penelope just go downstairs and tell them to go away first?” Derek asked and Garcia shook her head, woefully.

“They don’t let people put them off once they’re ‘on location’,” she said, “Otherwise people against the engagement can call it off.”

“Oh, well that’s a sensible policy!” Spencer announced sarcastically, throwing his hands in the air.

“Woah there, Spence, everything alright over here?”

The one time that your voice wasn’t able to calm him down. Instead, all four of them turned to face you with thinly veiled panic, until Emily was able to speak up with an explanation.

“I went to a deli for lunch, dropped my sandwich,” she said quickly, shaking her head at her own supposed clumsiness, “But apparently they have a policy of no replacements.”

She looked to Spencer, urging him to back her up.

“Yeah, what kind of policy is that? Just makes me so mad-” he was laying it on way too thick, because you were starting to look concerned, “-because you should have got another sandwich, Emily! Ridiculous.”

He threw his arms up in the air again to drive the point home. Derek was physically wincing. This was the worst. The absolute worst.

“I think maybe someone needs some sleep,” you chuckled, reaching for Spencer’s hand and taking it in your own, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand until you felt some of the tension leave his muscles, “You ready to go?”

He hesitated, just staring at you with wide eyes.

“That tired, huh? No more sad stories about sandwiches, Em, if this is what it does to him,” you laughed, but you were stepping up your soothing gestures by the second, comfort radiating from you as you let Spencer lean into you and rested a hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles. He could see the worry you held for him in your eyes, “We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Come on, you.”

You tugged him along beside you as you began to walk towards the door, picking up his satchel on your way and delicately looping it over his head until it was in his rightful place. Spencer was following, but he turned his head back to the others, flashing them a help me look that was as terrified as it was desperate.

“Wait for us!” Penelope called out, tottering after the two of you in her heels, grabbing Derek and Emily by the wrists to take them with her, “We’ll all walk out together, like a family.”

“Okay,” you chuckled, shaking your head fondly, “But be quick! I think this one’s falling asleep on me.”

Penelope nodded and hurriedly shooed the others to go get their stuff, or at least whatever they could grab quickly.

“I’ll just grab some of my stuff too then, Spence,” you said gently, taking your arm from his back as if you were worried he might fall over without the support, “You okay?”

“Tired,” he said bluntly, because now he had no idea what was going on and he couldn’t keep up. His brain was firing in every direction.

“I know, baby,” you pouted, kissing him on the cheek before you sauntered off, turning as you walked, “I’ll be two seconds.”

He counted. One, two. You were a good few seconds longer, but you really did try to be quick for him. Penelope was back at his side first, even though she’d had to run to her lair to get her stuff first. “I’ve got a plan,” she said confidently, with a nod, “I got you into this mess and I’m going to get you out, Reid, I promise.”

He smiled weakly. He felt as if he had resigned himself to whatever might happen now. It was as if he’d lost his agency, like his life was continuing around him but he’d lost all say in the narrative. Penelope placed a hand on his arm, a gesture, before you, Derek and Emily emerged from the office and the five of you stepped into the elevator.

There was little small talk on the ride down. Everyone was exhausted, after all. A couple of cases in a row would do that to you, especially when you finally had a day where the adrenaline had left you and you were left to catch up on all the sleep you had missed to replenish the energy lost. Penelope was buzzing beside you though, bobbing up and down on her heels in anticipation of something, and you wondered whether she had a date or something.

Spencer rested his head against the wall. You squeezed his hand again. He could tell you were beginning to worry there was actually something wrong, that he wasn’t just tired, so he squeezed in return. That seemed to do the trick.

You were just walking out of the building waving your ‘goodbye!’s and ‘see you tomorrow!’s when Garcia squealed. Actually squealed, loudly, right in your ear before screaming as she pointed into the distance.

“Bruno Mars!”

And then she was suddenly off, sprinting into a crowd of people that all had their backs turned, looking in the direction of Penelope’s pointing. You squinted. Where? Derek and Emily shared a look behind you and ran after Penelope, pushing through the crowd and shouting themselves. Suddenly, Spencer didn’t feel so tired as he full on grinned after his friends, particularly Penelope, who had definitely more than made up for her earlier slip. He’d make sure to text her later.

“Surely she can’t have seen Bruno Mars,” you mused aloud, still stuck in place from the shock of the squeal, “Although there is a crowd, I guess.”

You shrugged, still looking carefully. Suddenly, he was worried you were going to pull him into the crowd and everything would go wrong. But you looked at him to your side, his hand still in yours and reached up with your opposite hand to push some hair behind his ear.

“Let’s get you home, mister.”

He couldn’t stop himself, even if it ruined the whole plan.

“You don’t want to see Bruno Mars?”

“No,” you laughed simply, “Not when it’s probably fake and my favourite genius looks like he’s about to fall asleep on the sidewalk.”

You tugged him with you towards the car. He followed behind you with a spring in his step he tried to disguise, glancing back at the crowd to find Penelope grinning at him, two thumbs up in air. He nodded at her. She knew she was entirely forgiven. Not that she wouldn’t have been anyway.

It only really hit him later that night, with your head resting on his chest and your hands entwined on his stomach that you loved him enough to skip out on seeing Bruno Mars, just to take care of him.

As he looked down at your sleeping face, his dopey proposal eyes were back again. There was no getting rid of them now.

---

taglist (ily all <3)

@mrs-dr-reid @soda610 @alexxcorona113 @thupidalethea @may-beforejune-afterapril @ilovesupersoldiers @hurricanejjareau @stardream14 @mortallythoughtfulgurl @aperrywilliams @saranyx @anotherspencerreidblog @thegayestdestielshipper @burkgolden @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @zozoleesi @baumindss

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #740: Scheduled Cuddle Session (Sonic)

3:59 p.m. at the Rabbits and Chaotix's Residence's Detective Office.......

Vector: (Sits Himself Down on the Wheelie Chair) ('Sigh') Alright. What's the recent status report of our case so far, Espio?

Espio: (Begins Writing Notes on the White Board) Well, according to our recent discoveries and everything else we've learned so far from this case, the jewelry that was stolen other day was.....(Continues Describing Everything that Happened So Far in the Recent Case)

Vector: (Lay his Head on the Palm of his Head While Listening to Espio) (Ah man......I know detective work can be challenging for the most part, but I didn't think the case we got now would be THIS exhausting......('Sigh') Let's just hope I get some R&R after-)

'Phone Vibration'

Vector: (Looks at his Phone Vibrating) Hm? (Picks his Up and Sees the Name of the Person Who's Just Texted Him) (Vanilly?) (Unlocks his Phone and Goes to the Text Message Option, Only to See........)

Vanilla: Vector-Kins~ It's 4pm. Time for your Cuddle Session~ ( ˘ ³˘)♥( ˘ ³˘)♥

Vector: (Eyes Widened at His Phone For a Couple of Seconds) .............. Fucking...FINALLY!!!!!!

Espio: Uhh....Vector?

Vector: (Eyes Widened Once More Before Quickly Turning Back to Espio)

Espio: (Raised an Eyebrow in a bit of a Mix of Confusion and Concern) Are you okay over there?

Vector: Oh. Uhhhhhh.....Yeah! (Chuckles Awkwardly While Blushing) I-I was just Uhhhhhhhh.....(Slowly Holds Up his Phone a Little) Checking.....some stuff on my phone..... A text Vanilla sent message. N-Not to say it has anything to do with case or anything!.... B-But uh-

Espio: Mother sent you a text reminding you of your scheduled Cuddle Session for today, isn't it?

Vector: (Eyes Widened Once Again While Staring at Espio in Complete Disbelief) H-H-How did you-

Espio: I accidentally saw it all written down on your notes the other day while I was looking for anything related to our recent case. You even drew a rectangular box around the words and everything.

Vector: (Sighs in Defeat While Facepalming Himself) You caught me red handed. Sorry, man. I didn't mean get this distract-

Espio: It's fine, Vector. I completely understand how tiring most cases are from time to time. This whole "Cuddle Session" plan is just your way of clearing your mind of stress, yes?

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly While Blushing a Little (And Thinking About Cuddling With his Beautiful, Bunny Girlfriend) ) For the most part, yeah.....

Espio: ('Sigh') Well, if that's case, then it's best that you get going now.

Vector: Wait. What?

Espio: Your Cuddle Session. You need to attend to it right away.

Vector: S-Seriously? You really don't mind me going right now?

Espio: (Smiles Softly) Of course not. I could just call Silver and Blaze to come over here and help work on the case with me. So naturally, you're free to go.

Vector: (Almost at a Loss of Words) Dude....... You're like..... a literal life saver right.

Espio: (Chuckles Lightly) No thanks is needed, Vector. Now get out of here already. Your lady awaits you next door-

Vector: Don't have to tell me twice! (Immediately Rushes out the Door) I'M COMING, HONEY!!!!!~

Espio: (Sighs While Smiling Sheepishly at the Opened Door) It astounds me how neither of those two have propose to one another yet.......

Few Minutes Later at Vanilla and Vector's Bedroom........

Vanilla: (Giggles Softly While Snuggling with Vector Under Their Blanket) Oho, Vector-kins!~ I'm soooo glad we decided to do this~

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly) Tell me about it~ I've never been this stressed free in my entire life!.....(Immediately Starts Blushing Yet Again) You know, besides being with you and the kids of course.

Vanilla: (Smiles Softly While Giving Vector a Loving Hug) I'm so glad you're enjoying this, dear. I know how stressful working on a case can be at times, but you don't need to keep worrying about that anymore. I'm here for you.....(Puts on a Seductive Smirk on her Face) And Momma Vanilla's gonna give you all the loving and care you oh so desperately need~ (Continues Cuddling with her Crocdile Boyfriend While Giving him Loving Kisses All Over his Face)

Vector: (Already Intoxicated by his Girlfriend's Kisses) This is the best Cuddle Session ever~ I love you, Momma Vanilly~

Vanilla: I love you too, Vector-kins~ (Continues Kissing Vector)

Blaze: (Standing Behind the Couple's Room Door with Espio and Silver) So this is their Cuddle Session you mentioned, Espio?

Espio: Seems like it. (Smirks at the Entire Scene) But it looks like Vector is already enjoying himself as we speak.

Silver: This looks fun. We should definitely create a Cuddle Session Schedule of our own one of these days.

Blaze: (Smiles Brightly) That's a great idea, Silver. We should planning that right now.

Espio: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprised) Wait? What!? A-Are you sure you two want to go through with this?

Silver: (Smiles Brightly at Espio) Yeah, man. I don't see why now.

Blaze: Exactly. (Gives Espio a Teasing Smirk on her Face) And besides, there's nothing more relaxing than cuddling with those you love and adore~

Silver: (Puts on a Teasing Smirk of His Own) Especially if it's with the most adorable ninja in the while wide world~

Blaze: Whom we love oh so very much~

Blaze and Silver gives their Chameleon boyfriend a loving kiss on both of his cheeks (Instantly causing him to change into different colors) before walking back to the detective office with a satisfied smile on each of their faces.

Espio: (Sighs Heavily While Reverting Back to his Original Color) Those two really are handful in one......(Smiles Softly) Still. It would be nice to have a Cuddle Session with them every once in a while.

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@lovekittynoir

@rechicken-and-waffles

[sweet-symphony0]

Despair

  Hey hey, guess who’s back and finally had time to write! Happy Twin Tuesday! This one is...current, I’ll say. That’s all I’m going to say.

Summary: 01/06/2021. Rami and Sami can’t believe their eyes. They cope the only way they know how.

 Tags: @the-real-ramimalekpeen @xmxisxforxmaybe @killerqueengigi @txmel @laminy @ramimedley @rathernotmyname @ramilicious @sherlollydramoine @edteche2 @hah0106

---

Sami’s phone was ringing, he could hear it vibrating in his bag from he stood next to his desk, surveying his thirty students, their attention quickly diminishing. He ignored it, even as it rang a second time. 

“Alright guys-hey, don’t pack up yet, this is important-reading for tonight is chapter 12, your essays on Slaughterhouse Five are due Friday, so don’t forget.” There were groans heard from around the room, and Sami continued, “and no, I won’t be accepting any late papers; I gave you a month and a half for this. That’s more than generous, get it done.”

There were more groans and Sami smirked inwardly to himself as the bell rang and students began shuffling out the door, with a few calls of “see ya, Mr. Malek!” and Sami smiled. “Yeah, have a good day guys. Nice work today.”

When the last student was out the door, Sami took a moment to himself, glad he now had a free period before his next class. He cleared his throat, and began erasing the notes from the smartboard in preparation for the next round, when his phone vibrated and he remembered someone was trying to reach him, idly wondering what was so important that someone would call him at work.

Skimming his notifications, he frowned. Three texts from Rami, a missed call from him, and two texts from friends which he ignored for the time being, instead reading Rami’s messages:

“I know you’re at work, but you need to see this.” and underneath, in a separate message, a link to a CNN article that read “Rioters break windows and breach US Capitol.”

Sami stared, bewildered, and then read the third message Rami had sent.

“Turn on the news.”

Sami reread the headline, clicking the link Rami had sent, and he skimmed the article, his mind reeling.

“What the fuck...?”

Rami’s response was instant:

“You need to turn on the fucking news. Now.”

Sami wasted no time in rushing to the staff room, thanking his stars he had a break for the next forty minutes. It didn’t surprise him that nearly a quarter of the staff were already there, and he slipped inside, spotting a few of his colleagues from the English department. Even though the second bell had rung, no one in the room bothered to move, their eyes transfixed on the news coverage blaring from the TV. And as Sami turned his gaze to watch too, he felt his stomach sink in dread.

There were a cacophony of murmurs around the room, Sami catching tidbits here and there.

“What are we going to do?”

“There’s nothing we can do right now-”

“No, we can’t just-someone has to explain to the kids-”

“No, they’ll find out soon enough, we keep teaching like normal-”

“This is a high school,” one of Sami’s friends in the history department finally sighed tiredly. “You really think those kids don’t know by now? They have social media and cell phones. They know. And we can go about like usual, but this is something we’re all going to be talking about tomorrow.”

Sami’s eyes drifted back to the television, watching intently as he drowned everyone else out. They were inside the building now, hoards of them, a never ending sight. Sami watched with wide, disbelieving eyes, horrified as people scaled the building walls, smashed through windows, and he couldn’t help but think frantically: why wasn’t anyone doing anything?

He snorted to himself. Right. You know why.

He didn’t think he’d be able to go back to work after this. Slowly, one by one, his colleagues filtered out as most of them had classes to attend to that period and couldn’t push being late anymore. Once he was alone, Sami sank into one of the chairs, eyes glued to the newscast, feeling frozen from what he seeing.

He felt sick.

He texted Rami back and forth, a steady stream of furious conversation, not even realizing when the bell rang. Scrambling out of his seat, he rushed back to his room, just in time for when kids started filing in.

“Hi guys,” he pasted a smile on his face. “Settle down, and we’ll get started.”

He taught on autopilot, the forty minutes going by without him realizing, and before he knew it, kids were standing up and he was calling out the same thing from before: “read chapter twelve tonight, your essays are due Friday...”

Whatever previous intentions Sami had about sticking around the rest of the school day to get his work done, he threw right out the window. Racing home, he dug through his fridge for a beer, and then after better judgement, grabbed another, before he turned his TV on and called Rami.

Sami didn’t even let him say hi. “Are you safe?”

“Yeah,” Rami nodded. He was moving through his apartment, Sami could see, presumably to get to a quieter spot, and his gaze was off to the side, watching something. “I’m fine. Nothing here has happened yet, thankfully.”

“Listen,” Sami said urgently. “Stay inside okay? Don’t go out today if you don’t have to. You don’t-no one knows what will happen. Please.”

“I’m not moving,” Rami said. “I can’t-fucking after this, I can’t concentrate. I’m supposed to be rehearsing lines for tomorrow but fuck that. This is insane.”

Sami watched as the mob of people made their way inside the Rotunda, and he sank onto the couch. Then a few minutes later, they were inside the Senate chamber, pushing things around, and when he changed the channel to find another possible view, there was a photo up of a man carrying a confederate flag.

“Oh my fucking god.”

Rami’s voice was low. “I know. It gets worse.”

“Oh no, don’t say that.”

“They-they took down the American flag,” Rami said with barely restrained rage. “And replaced it. With a fucking Trump flag.”

Sami choked. “You’re not serious.”

“I wish I weren’t. And our president,” Rami scoffed. “is encouraging it. Fucking-” he stopped short, thinking for a moment on whether or not to complete what he wanted to say, before he shook his head in exasperation. “It’s all so exhausting.”

“That’s unconstitutional,” Sami murmured, flipping channels again, and he dropped his beer when he saw the constructed noose on the other side of the Capitol, staining the carpet, but he didn’t care. “Who is that for?! What the fuck!”

“What? What am I missing?”

Sami didn’t answer, still rooted on the spot, watching as officers finally brought out tear gas. “Fuck...is there any update on the Senators?”

“Not that I can tell. Though they are saying a few Republican ones are agreeing with this bullshit.”

Suddenly everything clicked, and Sami realized why today, of all days, this was happening. As he watched the coverage of Trump’s tweet, the rally earlier that morning, he idly wondered how much damage had already been caused, and whatever else he’d missed.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” he sighed, and Rami chuckled flatly.

“I’ve had a bottle of wine open for the last hour. Wish you were here to join me.”

“Well,” Sami stood up, grimacing at the mess he’d made from the spilled beer. “I can join you from afar. What are you drinking?” Rami gave him the name of a Cabernet they were both fond of, and Sami grinned triumphantly when he found a spare bottle in the back of his wine cooler. Propping his phone up on the counter against the block of chopping knives, he made quick work in opening and pouring himself a generous glass. “Cheers, man.”

“Cheers. What are we cheers-ing to?”

Sami hummed, licking the bit of wine that had dripped down his finger. “To the compete and utter fuckery that has been...the six days of this new year.”

“That works,” Rami was silent for a moment, both of them lost in their thoughts, watching the news again. “You know, I...obviously after the last four years there’s been a lot of unrest and contempt. But to this extent, for thousands of people to..to believe-”

“Say an election is rigged and then stop the process in almost every way they can?” Sami took a generous sip of his wine. “To destroy the Capitol? Yeah. I know.”

“Unbelievable,” Rami said succinctly, and after a moment: “I should’ve stayed in London.”

“They’re not much better,” Sami snickered, glancing at his twin. “Besides, London doesn’t have me.”

Rami laughed. “You think I plan my life around you?”

“What, you mean you don’t? I’m shocked. That hurts.”

“Definitely not,” Rami smirked and Sami laughed.

“Alright hot shot, don’t let that hair gel go to your brain too. There’s enough on your head already.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Rami was grinning, and Sami grinned back.

“Just trying to keep you humble, you know. I don’t give a shit if you have a shiny gold toy now.”

“Wow,” Rami muttered. “You wish your hair looked as good.”

“A greasy mess? Yeah, no thanks.”

Rami laughed again, and Sami grinned, pleased at the fact, sipping his wine again as they turned back to the news. “Fuck, it really is a shit show isn’t it?”

“I’ve always said he would leave the White House, but he’ll burn it down with him as he goes.”

“Yeah,” Sami sighed, his anger boiling all over again. “Looks like it. I wish you were wrong.”

“Me too.”

Glancing at the clock, he saw it had been a hour since he’d gotten home, which meant it was around 4pm on the east coast. Tuning back to the coverage, the mob outside the Capitol had grown, more people were scaling the wall to get inside, and Sami couldn’t help but think how all too easy it was for them.

“So uh...where’s the tear gas? The rubber bullets? The arrests?”

Rami snorted. “You’re fucking kidding, right? C’mon. Like that applies to them.”

Sami snorted too, and then laughed weakly, which turned into a laughing fit, and he could hear Rami calling his name. “Sorry...it’s just...fuck all of them.”

Rami raised his glass in a toast before he downed it in one go, pouring another serving. “Amen.”

“God, how am I supposed to explain this to my kids? You’re telling me I have to go to work tomorrow after this?”

“Same here,” Rami said. He was moving again, and Sami could see he was back in the kitchen too, digging through his refrigerator. He produced a bunch of grapes, a platter of salami, and a block of cheddar cheese, and Sami watched as he began to assemble an antipasti platter for one. “I don’t want to head to work. Seems pointless, after this.”

Sami bit his lip thoughtfully. “It’s not...useless. Use it. You’re angry-”

“Angry? No, I’m well passed pissed off at this point.”

“There you go. Use it, use that rage towards your scenes and whatever your character is. It’s...” Sami shrugged meekly at Rami, who was watching him intently. “It’s the only thing we can do at times like this, right?”

“I suppose,” Rami muttered, a tired expression on his face, and popped a grape into his mouth. He turned around, opening the fridge again and came back holding some hummus and olives in his hand. “I imagine it’ll be the only thing anyone will talking about for the next week. Rightfully so.” He opened the olives, laying a few of them out next to the salami, and stuck the jar back into the fridge. 

Sami was bemused. “How much are you eating?”

“As much as it takes to get through this shit show. I’m supposed to be on a diet right now, but I don’t give a shit. If I’m going to wine and dine watching this, I might as well do it properly.”

“Now I really wish I were there.”

“Yeah, me too. It would make it more bearable. But...this will do for now.”

Sami went silent, watching the TV again, which was now reporting about gunshots and a woman wounded. “Jesus Christ.”

Rami was muttering under his breath. “Shit, shit, shit, shit-”

They didn’t speak after that, both of them too lost in watching the news coverage, and Sami gripped his glass tightly as took a breath in to ease his anxiety.

Swallowing, he poured another glass, knowing he wouldn’t be finishing the bottle, and instead capped it and placed it in the fridge for tomorrow. It was an odd feeling, one that “scared” wouldn’t be able to cover. It was a looming, threatening feeling; something like this was so deeply entrenched in the fabric of the country. It wasn’t something that would go away on January 20th, as much as he wished for that. He wasn’t surprised that people had so much hatred for anyone other than themselves were coming out of the woodwork, blindly following what their commander in chief told them. The repercussions of this day would be something that would take a long time to repair.

“I’m tired,” he said suddenly. Rami’s voice was quiet, and though Sami didn’t elaborate, Rami seemed to understand what he meant perfectly.

“I know. So am I.”

---

When the crowds eventually thinned out, and Sami went back to work the next morning, he read the highlights of things he’d missed, flipping through the photos of the wreckage before the first period bell rang. When students trickled in, he was met with a sea of somber faces, and he knew he wouldn’t be teaching his regular lesson plans for the day. He felt enraged all over again.

Instead, he hopped up onto his desk, sitting cross legged and observing his students. “Alright. I would be...a very poor educator if I didn’t bring up what happened yesterday to all of you. And I know you’ll hear about it later in the day, I’m sure, but what we do here as teachers affects you guys for the rest of your lives. Now I don’t really care if you can’t tell me the imagery themes in The Great Gatsby, but I do care if you can’t think for yourselves. You’ll be reading and hearing a lot different things in the next coming weeks from people who think they’re right. And you’re all old enough, in my opinion, to have your own opinions on this. That being said, we all know what the banned book list is, correct?”

There were students nodding, and Sami nodded too, and he hopped off the desk to pull said list up. “Good. Pick a book from here, read it. There’s a reason all these books are banned from certain school curriculum, and I want you guys to pick one, and tell me why. It’s January. For every book you manage to get through from now till June, if you give me a one page analysis on your thoughts, I’ll give you extra credit that counts towards your final.” His students perked up at that, and he smiled inwardly. “Five points for every book, sound good?” There were murmurs of approval, and Sami continued, “it’s not mandatory, so don’t feel pressured to this. But I would...appreciate it if you did.”

“What if we read them all?” Someone asked.

There was always one.

Sami’s lips quirked up in amusement. “Good luck. You’ll notice there’s plenty of books on there we’ve read already.”

His students started chattering excitedly, and Sami cleared his throat, glancing at his copy of The Color of Water, which is what they were studying now. They would be finishing that tomorrow, the test for it was Monday, something which Sami had to make over the weekend. He hadn’t decided what to teach next, his gaze drifting to the copies of To Kill A Mockingbird in the back of the classroom, which was what he was planning to start Monday, after the kids took their test.

He debated on it, and then Rami’s words came back to him from the night before.

“He’ll leave the White House, but he’ll burn it down with him as he goes.”

He cleared his throat. “Guys, we’re just going to finish reading for the rest of the period, and we’ll go over the whole book for tomorrow before your test. So if you’ve got your books, take ‘em out.”

Later, once his classes were over for the day, he headed to the library, intent on finding Maria and asking for his next lesson plans.

“Hey Sami,” she greeted. “Back again? How’d they fare with Color of Water?”

“Not bad,” Sami said. “We’re finishing it up, test is Monday.”

“So, you’re here for Mockingbird?”

“No I’ve got Mockingbird,” he murmured, scanning the bookshelves. “That was what I was going to go with originally, but I’ve had a change of heart. Do you know if any of the faculty is teaching Orwell at the moment?”

“The freshmen, some of them are doing Animal Farm. But none of the AP classes right now. Which one?”

Sami spotted what he was looking for, and based on the piles of books they had, no one else had taught it yet, or he was late to the game.

“1984.”

[goldenraeofsun]

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

 MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

 SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

 TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise?  I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

 FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

 SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this? 

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick.  Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

 “I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

[ms-rampage]

Eden's Gate: Left Behind Chapter 3 - First Encounter

Warnings: Does sorta cutesy stuff count?

Word count: 2k

Once again John is out of character 😂😂, a certain Pepper girl is introduced, Kate has a few minor Sam Winchester moments and talks with a K9. Like I said in the other chapters, I added the University, and the Diner/Cafe for this series because #HeacanonShit.

Alissa (FC: Rhea Ripley)

Morgan (FC: Kathryn Newton)

****************************

For the past few days John watched over Kate, and got very little to no information about her.

She must be a very private person. 

"Where is she from?".

"What's her first name? Middle name?" 

"What's her birthday?" 

"What are her hobbies?" 

"Does she like planes?".

He was basically driving himself insane trying to get anything on her. 

He knows Joseph is right, but what if he isn’t?. What if she doesn’t like him?.

What if she doesn’t like men? Is she a sinner? A nonbeliever?. 

He didn’t even have the damn courage to approach her, and when he did, he kept getting interrupted by his men. They always called for him at a bad time, that's all they’re good for, bad timing. 

Tapping the keys on his keyboard, he finds more information about her.

"There you are" he says, sighing in relief. Clicking on the link with a photo of her.

Katella Evyanna Winchester 

Born in Phoenix, Arizona 

Lived in Jackson, Wyoming 

DOB: August 5 1998 age 19 

Father: Deceased

Mother: Unknown

Sibling: Jackson, Wyoming.

School: Hope County University, former Jackson University

Works: University Cafè & Diner.

"Interesting bio Katella" he says with a smile on his face. 

He has her full name, where she works, goes to school, her home address and a little bit of information about her family.

He wants to meet her face to face, and hopefully no one interrupts him.

He doesn't understand why, but he wants to be with her. 

She has potential to be, if it ever came to that point his wife, and maybe the mother to his future children. When they march to Eden's Gate.

He wants to know more about her "What does she like?". 

She has a dog, so he knows she likes dogs, and she has a classic car so she probably likes older cars than newer cars. 

"She works at the diner at the University. Maybe I can go see her?" he says to himself, unsure. 

He gets up, goes to his car and drives to the cafè diner.

******************************************  

Kate’s working, it's her first day on the job. 

She has an hour and 10 minutes until she’s off. 

The rush is not bad, it's pretty steady especially for a Thursday. 

It's her, her friends Morgan, and Alissa, and their supervisor Holly working. 

Morgan and Kate are clearing off the tables, collecting their tips, Alissa is taking a customer's order, Holly is working the counter, cleaning, and making coffee even though it's after 3:30pm. Kate was suppose to start at 4pm until 10pm but she was able to start her training early, and get off early, 11am until 5pm.

About 10 minutes later, John pulls into the parking lot outside the diner. He sees the black Monte Carlo. 

"Alright so she's working today" he says to himself. 

He parks his car, gets out and walks towards the building. 

He takes a glance into the window, and sees Kate cleaning up tables, his stomach starts to feel weird, and he might feel a little too excited to see her. 

As he's about to open the door, he sees Holly at the counter, "Shit" he mutters to himself. The feeling in his stomach goes away the second he sees Holly. 

The last person he never wants to see is her, they had a few nights together in the past, and that was several months ago. 

"Maybe she won't recognize me" he whispers to himself. Walking inside.

Oh boy was he wrong. John felt like the stupidest person in the county. Holly looks up, and immediately recognizes him. He tries to play off cool, and he ends up awkwardly walking to a table towards the back of the diner.

"I'll be right with you sir" Kate says to him, as she takes a bin of dishes into the kitchen. 

A smile forms on his face just by hearing the sound of her voice. It's very soft, and calming, almost like lavender. The feeling in his stomach comes back.

She comes back out from the kitchen a minute later, and walks towards John's table with a notepad and pencil in hand. 

But she unfortunately gets cut off by Holly, pushing her back a little. 

"It's okay sweetheart I got this" she says to Kate in a bitchy tone. Kate gives Holly, her classic (Sam Winchester) bitch face, and walks back to the counter towards Morgan. 

"So get this, Holly took my customer" Kate whispers to her. She snickers "Typical Holly" Morgan whispers back. 

"Thought I never see you again John'' Holly says to him in a sarcastic tone.

He shrugs, trying to play it cool, and says "Well I just stopped by to see someone". 

She gives him a hopeful but flirty look, and asks "Anyone in particular?". 

He smirks, crossing his arms and says. 

"Someone new, and slightly younger". 

Her expression changes from hopeful to annoyed. 

"What can I get you?" she asks. 

"A large coffee with 2 shots of scotch" he says jokingly.

"And maybe the cute brunette waitress in the flannel" he adds, looking over at her.  

Kate almost drops a plate with a customer's food onto their lap. She can feel her face turning red after he says this. She looks back at him, and he winks at her. 

Holly rolls her eyes in annoyance, and gives him a dirty look.

Morgan and Alissa overhear him, and they both let out a soft laugh. Holly looks back at them, while they walk towards the kitchen trying to hold back their laughter. John stares at Kate as she walks behind the counter. 

"Same ol' John Seed" she says, her hands on her hips.

Nodding his head "Yep, same ol' me" with a smirk. 

"Just a coffee" he adds. 

"Alright then" she says, walking to the counter. 

Kate comes out from behind the counter, and gives a customer their check. 

John looks up, and down at her, "she's got a cute ass" he thinks to himself. 

He can feel himself starting to get hard. He wishes he didn’t feel this way, but he’ll take her over Holly anyday. If only she moved to Hope County a lot sooner, so he wouldn’t have to deal with Holly.

She comes back with his order, and sees him eyeballing Kate. 

She scoffs "Someone new and younger huh? You haven't changed a bit have you?". 

He just shrugs while opening a pack of coffee cream. 

"Not really" he answers, with a cocky smug smile. 

Annoyed, Holly walks into the kitchen. 

He pours the cream, and sugar into his coffee, not realizing Kate is looking at him. 

His heart particularly skips a beat when she speaks to him.

"I like your tattoos" she says motioning to the tattoos on his hands, and arms. 

He looks up at her and smiles "Thanks". 

She sees the small lawyer scale tattoo he has on his hand, and asks. 

"Are you a lawyer?". 

"Yeah I am" he answers, looking down at it. 

"Never seen a lawyer with a lot of tattoos before” she jokes. That puts a smile on his face. 

“Where did you go to school?" she adds. 

His mind goes blank for a moment, and says. 

"I went to Emory Law in Atlanta". 

Kate stares at him for a few seconds, but to him it felt like hours, and he loves it. 

He loves to have her attention. He could’ve really used it growing up.

"You look very familiar. Normally, I'm terrible at remembering faces but yours just looks really familiar" she tells him. 

He half smirks, and says "I saw you the other day. You walked past the church". 

They say "walked past the church"  at the same time. 

They both smile at each other. 

Holly clears her throat in annoyance. 

Putting an end to their conversation, she tells her. 

"Kate, can you go get some more ground coffee from the walk in". 

"Yeah sure" she says, already detecting the jealousy in her voice. 

Walking into the kitchen. 

Holly approaches him, placing her hand flat on the table. 

"I know what you're doing" she tells him, in a slightly threatening tone. 

"Do you though?" he asks, tilting his head. 

"Yeah I do. You're flirting with the younger waitress to make me jealous". 

He scoffs with a hint of laughter, and says "Oh Holly, you haven't changed, have you?". 

She gives him an angry look, and says with attitude. 

"Don't waste your time on her. She's a bookworm. Only cares about her school work, grades and all that shit. She probably doesn't have anything interesting to do in her life". 

And Holly is very far from being right, like several thousand miles from being right. Kate’s life is a lot more interesting then she thought it would be.

He looks at her, lets out a short laugh, and says. 

"She sounds like she's my type. I mean have you seen her car?."

He leans forward, and whispers “She’s wife material”.  

Kate comes back out with the coffee, and fills up the machine. 

Alissa comes out from the kitchen, and walks over to her, asks. 

"What time are you off?" 

She looks at the clock on her phone, and says. 

"In 25 minutes". John overhears this, he finishes off his coffee. Pays the check, and says sarcastically.

"Great seeing you again Hol". 

He winks at Kate one last time before he leaves, causing her to smile again. 

Alissa whispers to Kate. "I think he likes yooouu". 

Morgan comes out from the kitchen, and whispers in her other ear. "I'm sure he wants to fuck yooouu" while hitting her ass.  

The 3 of them laugh about it, and Kate finishes the last 25 minutes of her shift. 

When the next waitress clocks in. 

She clocks out, gathers all her stuff, and leaves to her car. 

As she’s putting her stuff in the passenger side.

She hears a familiar voice say, 

"That's a nice car you got there". She turns around, and sees John. 

"Thanks" she says smiling. 

"Is it yours?" he asks. 

"Sorta. It was my grandfathers, then he gave it to my uncle, and he gave it to me" she answers. 

He nods his head. "I have my car, and my plane" he says, trying not to brag but he’s actually bragging. 

Kate, who is actually impressed, asks "You fly?". 

"Yeah, I love my plane. Do you like planes?". 

Not knowing what to say, she was honest.

"I’ve never been on a plane before. But I’m pretty sure I would enjoy it" she says. 

"I can take you out for a fly someday" he offers, hoping she says “Yes”.

She smiles, seeing his little game, and asks “Is this your way of asking me out?". 

He smiles, asks “Is it working?”. His eyebrows cocked.

She looks away, smiling and looks back at him, saying “It is actually”.

“Well I guess, we have a date then. How’s Saturday?” a charming smile. Those baby blue eyes piercing through her. Making her insides shake, bursting with butterflies. She’s surprised a handsome man like him is showing signs of affection towards her. She’s not letting this opportunity slip pass her. 

“That sounds great, I’m off at 5 on Saturday” she replies, with a smile. “Well I gotta get going, it was nice meeting you. John, right?”

He nods his head, says with a hint of lust in his voice. 

"It was a pleasure meeting you too Kate". 

She detects the lust in his voice, but ignores it, she’s way too excited that someone showed that kind of attention towards her. 

They go their vehicles, and drive their separate ways.

********************************************************

That night Kate is working on her Psychology homework, trying her best to stay focused. 

Even though it's still the first week of that semester, she can’t fall behind.

John keeps coming to mind, throwing her off her work. Distracting her.

She sighs loudly, leaning back in her seat, yawning out loud and stretching her arms out.

“Oh boy” she says, sighing.

Haley looks up at her owner with a head tilt. 

“I got asked out today Hale. Ain’t that a bitch” she says to her dog, as if she were human.

She lets out a bark, “Yeah, I know it's crazy huh?. The dude is a lawyer!!”.

She continues “So get this, he wants to take me for a ride in his plane”.

A pitchy whine comes from her along with another head tilt. She lets out a yelp, and sits on the floor next to her. 

She scratches behind her ear. 

“Yeah, I know. I told him that I’ve never been on a plane before, I panicked. I wasn’t gonna tell him that my sister and I exorcised a demon from one of the pilots. But I’m sure it’ll be fine, Paige won’t she’d have a heart attack and probably shit herself” she laughs at the last part.

[gayforheadphonesgirl]

Falling Back Into You (Chapter 3)

(A/N): I’m back with Chapter 3 of this SingleMom! Alex imagine. I’ve been having writer’s block so it took a bit longer than expected. This is a pretty long ass chapter. Not proofread in any way. Hope you guys like it!

Being the best friend that she is, Kelley quickly made her way to Alex's house after their phone conversation about (Y/N).

Kelley had always seen the pair act differently around each other, even during their younger days in the USWNT.

So she wasn't entirely surprised that Alex was currently pacing around in her own living room while the former Utah Royal looked on amused.

"Maybe you're just really excited to see her after all these years?" Kelley offered, but not exactly believing herself.

She had always thought Alex and (Y/N) would've made a good couple in another life.

They were like, each other's 'one that got away' as far as Kelley was concerned.

"Maybe... but I'm worried about how warm and fuzzy I feel inside when I'm with her. Especially when she's interacting with Mia" Alex exclaimed, running her hands through her hair.

"She's nice, she always makes people feel warm and fuzzy" Kelley said, shrugging her shoulders.

But Alex still looked frantic. Kelley wondered if a person could be too old for gay panic, because it seems like Alex is having it right now.

"Besides, Al. So what if you have a crush on (Y/N)? I'm pretty sure she feels the same way" Kelley said.

Alex blushed furiously at the thought that her feelings might be reciprocated.

"Wh-what makes you say that?" Alex said, sitting down on her couch next to Kelley.

"She picked up your kid from school, she bought you food... twice! That's like the greatest love language of all: FOOD!" Kelley said. Alex manages a laugh at her friend's logic.

"She's like that for everybody" Alex said, not wanting to get any hopes of something more than friendship with (Y/N).

"No, Al. She's got a real soft spot for you and it seemed to trickle down to Mia, too" Kelley said, smiling knowingly at Alex.

"Did you know she played soccer with Mia today? She pretended she was a goal keeper... She was wearing oven mitts for goodness sake! Why did I find that adorable?" Alex said, once again exasperated at her newly surfaced feelings.

Kelley chuckled and placed her arm around Alex's shoulder and pulled her for a side hug.

"You, my friend, are having gay panic. Bi panic, specifically" Kelley said. Alex groaned.

"Really? In my 40s?" Alex said.

"Better late than never, I suppose" Kelley said before bursting into laughter.

"Shhh! Don't wake Mia up!" Alex said, moving to shush Kelley with her hand.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry" Kelley said, stifling her laughter.

"So, are you nervous for Friday?" Kelley asked, leaning back on the couch.

"Very. Plus... I may have invited her over for dinner next week" Alex said, almost whispering the last part.

"You what? Oop. Already planning date night, are we?" Kelley teased. Alex once again blushed madly.

"I-it's not a date. It's just a thank you to her for picking up Mia today" Alex said, covering her reddening face.

"Alright, Al. If you say so" Kelley said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Alex groaned.

"I'm too old for this" Alex said. Kelley laughs and straightens up.

"Well, Al... It's pretty late. I gotta get back to Cassie or I'm sleeping on the couch tonight" Kelley said, moving to stand up. Alex looks at her friend and nods.

"Thanks for coming over. I just... I'm not really used to this feelings thing anymore" Alex admitted. Kelley smiled and gives her a slight push to the head.

"I'm glad for you Al. This will turn out better than you expect, I promise" Kelley said reassuringly. Alex doesn't exactly believe her but hums in agreement anyway.

"Thanks Kell. See you Friday. Bring the whole gang, will you?" Alex said.

"Sure you won't want (Y/N) all to yourself?" Kelley teased as she walked towards the door. Alex throws a pillow in her direction but the former Utah Royal quickly dodged it and stuck her tongue out.

"Goodnight, Kell. Drive safe" Alex said, smiling. Kelley waves before heading out the door.

For the first time today, Alex is left alone with her thoughts and feelings.

She lets herself fall into the couch and sigh.

She was pretty fucked.

---

Friday came too soon for Alex's comfort. She had mixed feelings about today, she was beyond excited, don't get her wrong.

It's just that she was also incredibly nervous about seeing (Y/N) with her realization that she may have feelings for her former teammate.

Her phone dinged with a text from (Y/N).

Hey, what time does Mia get out of school? I promised I'd hang out with her before we all go out for drinks tonight.

Alex couldn't help the smile that graces her features.

We'll be at home at 4pm. Alex typed out her reply.

(Y/N)'s answer was almost immediate.

Great. I'll drop by then. See you later, Al.

The sound of her university soccer players entering the pitch pulled her from her thoughts.

Right, she had work to do. She pushes the thoughts of tonight at the back of her head and started on her day.

---

Meanwhile, (Y/N) was mulling over what to wear in her loft. She wanted to make a good impression, not just on Alex but on all her other friends.

Her watch read 2:30pm. She had about an hour before she needed to leave.

She stared at the pile of clothes she had laid down on her bed. A button up and a jacket would be too formal, but a shirt would be too casual.

She settled for a navy blue mandarin collar button up and black slacks. Just sleek enough to pass off as someone who had their shit together.

Being the basic lesbian that she is, she didn't take long in getting ready and had about 15 minutes to spare.

But a light bulb lit up in her head. Grabbing her wallet and keys, (Y/N) dashed down to her car and pulled out of her driveway.

In record time, (Y/N) found herself in front of her favorite flower store: Freda's floral emporium.

Stepping out of her car, (Y/N) entered the store. She was greeted by the store's owner.

"Why, it's good to see you (Y/N)!" Freda greeted. (Y/N) smiled and headed on over to her.

"Good to see you too, Freda" (Y/N) said, pulling the elderly woman for a hug.

"It's too early for mother's day, isn't it? And it isn't Gloria or Ariel's birthday" Freda said, commenting that (Y/N) only usually came on those occasions.

"Well, it's not for family this time, Freda" (Y/N) said shyly, scratching the back of her neck.

Freda's eyes light up and she almost jumps for joy.

"Oooh! Is it for a special girl?" Freda said, already leaving her post in the counter to help (Y/N) look for the perfect bouquet.

"Sorta, yeah... Damn, Freda. This seems like I'm back in high school again" (Y/N) said, chuckling at how young and aloof she feels at buying a girl she likes flowers.

"Never too late to find love, I tell ya!" Freda said, already picking out her best flowers for her favorite customer.

"She's just a friend though, I doubt she feels the same way" (Y/N) said. Freda abruptly stops what she's doing and stares at (Y/N).

"Oh I think she'll change her mind with these flowers I'm making. Besides, who wouldn't want a piece of you!" Freda retorts. (Y/N) blushes and playfully nudges the older woman.

"What? It's true! Oh if I only had a daughter, I would've set her up with you a long time ago" Freda said, arranging her newly picked flowers for (Y/N).

"You flatter me, Freda" (Y/N) said, laughing at the woman's antics.

"There! Perfect. Any woman would fawn over this!" Freda said, handing (Y/N) a beautiful bouquet with roses and a single sunflower in the middle.

"Wow, this is amazing Freda" (Y/N) said, inspecting the flowers. She gives it a sniff and almost sneezes.

Bad idea, she thought.

"All in a day's work" Freda said smugly. But (Y/N) had one more request.

"Oh Freda, can I get a bouquet of daisies? For her kid?" (Y/N) said, wanting to surprise Mia as well.

If Freda was a bit taken aback at (Y/N)'s love interest having a kid, she did a good job of showing it.

"Ah, don't worry. Freda has got you covered!" She said, scurrying again to pick out daisies.

"Thanks, Freda. You're the best" (Y/N) calls after her, still looking at the bouquet in her hand.

She hoped Alex would like it.

In no time, Freda walks back to the counter with a small daisy bouquet in hand.

"I know I'm the best" Freda said, smiling proudly at (Y/N).

"How much for the two bouquets, Freda?" (Y/N) asked, setting Alex's flowers down to pull out her wallet.

Thumbing through her bills, she pulls out a 50 bill.

"Just 30, the daisies are on the house" Freda said. (Y/N) looks scandalized at the thought of not paying everything she owed.

"I refuse to let you go bankrupt, Freda!" (Y/N) said, pushing the 50 bill.

"I won't. Just promise me you'll get me as the flower supplier for your wedding!" Freda said, handing (Y/N) back a 20.

(Y/N) flushes but takes the change.

"I'll let you know, Freda" (Y/N) said, chuckling. She picks up both bouquets and walks out of the store.

"Thank you, Freda!" (Y/N) calls out.

"You're welcome, kiddo! Get her!" Freda said. (Y/N) smiles and heads on over to her car.

It's already a little bit past four when (Y/N) finds herself at the Morgans' doorstep.

She takes a deep breathe, and knocks on the door with both bouquets in hand.

"Just a minute" Alex called from the other side. (Y/N) shifts in her place, a bit nervous.

Alex opens the door with a smile so bright (Y/N) thought she was going to pass out.

"Hey" Alex said.

"Hey yourself" (Y/N) replied. They momentarily just stare into each other before (Y/N) gets back to her senses.

"I-uh, these are for you!" (Y/N) said, putting the bouquet forward. She doesn't miss the bright red blush that graces Alex's features.

"Wow... this looks amazing (Y/N)" Alex said, taking the bouquet.

"And these, are for Mia" (Y/N) said, showing the simple daisy bouquet. Alex smiles even wider at (Y/N).

Why does she have to be so thoughtful? Is this romantic? Is she trying to be romantic? A flurry of thoughts racing in Alex's head.

"You're so sweet" Alex said. She turns a bit to call for her daughter who was in the living room.

"Mia! Auntie (Y/N) has something for you!" Alex said. Mia quickly jumped up and ran over to the front door.

"For you, m'lady" (Y/N) said, crouching down to Mia's height. The girl takes one look at the flowers and squeals.

Mia takes the flowers and envelopes (Y/N) in a hug.

"Thank you Auntie! They're amazing!" Mia said, running inside to put it in a vase.

"Please be careful with the vases, baby girl. Do not hurt yourself" Alex called after her. She looked back at (Y/N) and invited her in.

"If you keep on giving her stuff, she's gonna be expecting it every time" Alex said, smiling at (Y/N).

"Then I'll do it every time" (Y/N) said grinning back at Alex. Alex felt the blood rush to her face and she hides behind the bouquet.

"I'm... gonna go put this in water. You can join Mia in the living room!" Alex said, before hurrying away from (Y/N).

(Y/N) looked weirdly in the direction where Alex had bolted but shrugged her shoulders.

Alex rushed into the kitchen and got one of the vases kept in the cupboards. She takes a moment to control her heart before putting the bouquet in water.

She places the vase next to Mia's and shoots Kelley a text.

She brought me and Mia flowers, FREAKING FLOWERS KELLEY!

Kelley, who was already on standby next to her phone since Alex had said (Y/N) was already on her way to them was able to see it immediately.

The former Utah Royal lets out an honest to God 'Awwww' while on her way to the bar they'll be meeting at.

She quickly types out her reply.

Ohhhh girl, she's definitely into you!

Kelley's reply does nothing to quell the blush on Alex's face. She groaned and rubbed her hands on her face.

"Okay, Alex. You can handle this. It's just a crush" Alex said to herself quietly.

She was three-time world cup champion, she can definitely survive having feelings for her friend.

Right? Right.

When she walks back in the living room, (Y/N) and Mia are deeply immersed in first-grade math homework, sitting on the carpeted floor.

Mia was chewing on her bottom lip and looking intently at her textbook.

"How about this Auntie, what do I gotta do?" Mia said, (Y/N) looks over to where she's pointing and proceeds to try and teach the girl what she needed to do.

Alex looks affectionately at the pair and silently walks to take a seat in the couch.

(Y/N) looks up at Alex and grins.

"Gays can't do math" (Y/N) mouths. Alex couldn't help but laugh and shake her head.

She pulls out her phone and snapped a photo of the scene before her. She contemplated putting it on social media, but thought better to ask (Y/N) first later.

(Y/N) continued to help Mia with her homework with Alex simply watching them.

She was mesmerized at how natural it looked to see (Y/N) with Mia. Maybe it was her crush talking, she didn't know.

"Mom look! I finished my homework so quick!" Mia said, lifting her textbook for Alex to see.

"That's great, baby. I'm proud of you" Alex said, walking over to sit on Mia's other side.

Anybody could've taken a look at the three of them all huddled up and think that they were a happy family.

"Can we watch soccer now?" Mia said, looking up pleadingly at her mother. Alex smiled and reached for the remote.

She flipped the television to ESPN just in time for an NWSL game. With Mia engrossed in the action, Alex took the opportunity to talk to (Y/N) quietly.

"Look at you and Mia" Alex said, showing (Y/N) the photo she took. (Y/N) turned and beamed at the photo.

"Wow that looks really nice. I love it" (Y/N) said, she takes Alex's hand to pull the phone closer to her.

They both ignore the electricity that they felt when their hands touched.

"Will it be alright if I post it on Instagram?" Alex said. (Y/N) lets go of her hand and she misses the contact immediately.

"Sure, why not" (Y/N) said, smiling. Alex draws back her phone and opens up social media.

"What's your handle? Do you even have Instagram still?" Alex said, already typing out the post.

"Yeah. I'm not a grandma. I just don't use it a lot" (Y/N) said with a laugh.

"Is your handle the same?" Alex said. (Y/N) nods.

Not long after Alex posted the photo, (Y/N)'s phone started ringing with notifications.

"Her new favorite Auntie" Alex's post read.

"I love my new title" (Y/N) said, chuckling. She spotted a comment from Kelley and Allie.

K: Hey no. She cannot dethrone me that fast! A: Well, I'm pretty useless when it comes to homework so she can have that part of the job.

"Oh I forgot to ask, who among the girls are going to make it tonight?" (Y/N) said, scrolling through the comments.

She noticed a few fans commenting about their 'ship' coming alive after all these years.

There isn't a ship when it's unrequited, she thought.

"Kelley, Allie, Krashlyn and Preath all said they would come!" Alex said.

"Nice" (Y/N) said, her excitement of seeing her old teammates bubbling inside of her.

"Some of the younger ones are still busy with the NWSL season so they couldn't make it" Alex said.

"I totally get that" (Y/N) said. The pair was a little bit startled when someone knocked on the door.

Alex looked over her shoulder and stood up.

"Must be the babysitter" Alex said. (Y/N) nods and puts her arm around Mia who was starting to doze off after the game finished.

Alex walked to the front door and opened it.

"Hey, Greta. Thanks for coming " Alex greeted her usual baby sitter. The teen smiled and walked inside.

"Hey, Alex. No problem. Anything for sweet little Mia" Greta said. The pair walked into (Y/N) carrying Mia who was already fast asleep to lie on the couch.

(Y/N) looked at them and put a finger to her mouth to signal them to be quiet.

Alex swore she had never seen anything more adorable. She quietly made her way to Alex and Greta.

"Out like a light. Must've been the math" (Y/N) said, chuckling.

"(Y/N), this is Greta. The best baby sitter in town" Alex said, motioning to the teenage girl next to her.

"Hey Greta. I'm (Y/N)" (Y/N) said, offering her hand to Greta. But the teen just gaped.

"... (Y/N)? As in (Y/N) (L/N), USWNT legend?" Greta said. Alex laughed and linked their arms.

"The one and only" Alex said proudly.

Greta couldn't believe her luck. The number of football players she had met because of her babysitting job with Alex Morgan.

She almost thought it was a scam when a craigslist ad for a babysitter was listed under the soccer star.

(Y/N) laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. Alex looked knowingly at Greta.

"Why don't you take a photo with her?" Alex said, nudging (Y/N).

"Would that be okay?" Greta said hopefully. (Y/N) nodded and smiled.

"Sure. It's kinda funny how you know me" (Y/N) said, moving to her side. Greta gave Alex her phone and squealed.

"You're like one of the greatest of all time" Greta said happily. (Y/N) blushed and swung her arm over the teen's shoulder.

"Thank you, but I'm not" (Y/N) said, chuckling. Alex snapped the photo and handed Greta back her phone.

"She's humble like that" Alex said, grinning at (Y/N).

Greta thanked (Y/N) for the photo and proceeded to look after the sleeping Mia.

"I'll go get ready" Alex said, motioning she'll be going upstairs for a bit. (Y/N) nods and lounges around in the kitchen.

She's busy scrolling through her phone when Alex emerges from the top of the stairs. As if by instinct, (Y/N) looks up and her breath is caught in her throat.

Alex looked stunning in a striped dress that hugged her curves just right (A/N: Just imagine her wearing the dress she has on in her vogue shoot on Instagram. I don't know how to describe it lmao).

"I feel like I should've dressed up more" (Y/N) said, still gawking at the former Orlando forward as she went down the stairs.

"Please. You don't look so bad yourself" Alex said, and with a surge of courage threw a wink at (Y/N)'s direction.

(Y/N) blushed at the comment and followed Alex like a lost puppy as she gave Greta a few more reminders before they went on their way.

"Dinner's in the fridge. Her vitamins are in the usual cupboard and bedtime is at 9:30pm please" Alex said. Greta nodded her head. Mia was still out like a light on the couch.

(Y/N)'s heart warmed as Alex bent down to kiss her daughter goodbye.

"I got us a Lyft so nobody has to be the designated driver" (Y/N) said, grinning at Alex as they made their way outside.

"Smart. What about your car though?" Alex said. (Y/N) shrugged.

"I'll bring it home once I've sobered up enough. Would you mind if I leave it here?" (Y/N) said. Alex's mind raced at the possibilities of (Y/N) having to come by her house after drinks.

"Not at all" Alex said. (Y/N) beamed and offered her arm, Alex smiled and accepted, linking them together.

It didn't take long for the Lyft to arrive and they were off to the bar.

Both women were buzzing with excitement at the thought of reuniting with their friends.

"I wonder if Kelley can still hold her alcohol like she did when we won the World Cup back in 2019" (Y/N) thought aloud. Alex snorted.

"Oh she definitely still can. She's a 21-year-old frat boy stuck in a 40-something's body" Alex said. (Y/N) laughed.

"God I can't wait to see them. I feel bad for not really staying in touch with you guys all these years" (Y/N) said sadly, looking down at her hands.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Life happens. You're here now right?" Alex said, taking (Y/N)'s hand and squeezing it.

(Y/N) offered her a smile and felt infinitely better. They spent the rest of the ride still holding hands.

Neither of them acknowledged the other's disinterest to let go.

The only time (Y/N) finally lets go of Alex's hand is when she has to pay the driver once they arrived.

They thanked the Lyft and went inside the bar. Kelley had immediately spotted them and began waving wildly from her seat.

"Alex! (Y/N)!" Kelley said loudly. The pair whipped their heads in her direction and laughed at the woman.

Still the same Kelley after all these years, (Y/N) thought. They approached Kelley with wide smiles.

Once they were close enough, Kelley attacked (Y/N) with a bear hug.

"How long has it been (Y/N)!!!!" Kelley said, squeezing the living life out of (Y/N).

Alex couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her two friends.

"Nice to see you too, Kell. Now let me go before I pass out" (Y/N) said, chuckling.

"Oop, sorry" Kelley said with a cheesy grin. They take their seats while waiting for the rest of the gang to show up.

They had talked about (Y/N) being intrigued with Mia during her camp that eventually led to her reconnecting with Alex and the rest of the team.

Kelley nodded along like Alex hadn't already gushed about it to her.

It took about 15 minutes before the rest of the gang showed up, Allie had arrived with Preath while Krashlyn came as a couple.

"Still the third wheel, I see?" (Y/N) said to Allie with a smirk. Allie rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, (Y/L/N)" Allie replied. (Y/N) laughed.

The group of friends easily fell into conversation once they were settled down with drinks.

As per usual, Ashlyn was the one documenting the whole thing and posting it on her Instagram stories.

"When I heard about the social work you were doing, I checked it out on the internet. It seems amazing" Christen told (Y/N) with the whole gang nodding their heads in a approval.

"Thank you. That means a lot, from a CEO like you" (Y/N) said with a smile, talking about their successful re-inc company.

"We really missed you, man" Tobin said. She was one of (Y/N)'s closest friends on the team, if not the closest.

"I know. I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep in touch" (Y/N) said shyly. She really felt bad.

Alex reached out for her hand under the table and squeezed again. (Y/N) glanced at her and smiled for the comfort.

"It's fine. We barely realized you weren't there" Ali said jokingly.

"Yeah... who is she? I don't know her" Ashlyn said. The mood lightened with Krashlyn's antics.

"Alright, enough with that emotional shit. It's time for Never Have I Ever!" Kelley said, raising her shot glass filled with tequila.

"Still the college frat boy, are we Kelley?" (Y/N) said, laughing.

"Of course. That's like my brand" Kelley said.

The game started out pretty simple, with most relating to soccer practice when they were still in the USWNT.

Everyone on the table was surprised when Christen took a shot after the Never Have I Ever faked being sick to skip practice.

"What? I'm human too" Christen said defensively. Kelley, Ashlyn and Allie gave her approving looks.

"Let's make this interesting and because I want Preath and Krashlyn to take more shots" Allie said. Clearing her throat.

"Never Have I Ever fallen in love with a teammate" Allie said. She narrowed her eyes at the two couples as they groaned and took shots.

Alex wondered if she should take a shot. Was she in love? It was just a crush right?

But what was surprising to everyone was when (Y/N) slowly took her shot glass and downed it in one go.

"Oh my God?" Allie said, looking at (Y/N) at disbelief. Alex felt a feeling of giddyness and jealousy bubble up inside of her at the same time.

Who did (Y/N) have feelings for? But at the back of her mind, she was really hoping it was her.

"What?" (Y/N) said, a blush creeping up on her face. Alex was also looking at her. She couldn't tell what the other woman was thinking.

Could she see right through me? (Y/N) thought.

"Spill" Ashlyn said. Allie and Ali (lol) nodded in approval.

Tobin and Christen glanced at (Y/N) worriedly, obviously knowing who it was.

"Nope" (Y/N) said, taking another shot.

"No fun!" Allie said, pouting at the other woman.

"Maybe next time" (Y/N) said, risking a glance at Alex's direction. She was playing with her shot glass, seemingly deep in thought.

The game continued on for about 15 minutes more before they grew tired and simply settled on sharing stories.

(Y/N) felt happy that her friends were still all so successful. She missed them so much and really meant it when she said there would be a 'next time'.

Before long, it was deep into the night. With kids waiting on them at home, Krashlyn and Preath excused themselves.

"See ya. Everybody just get a Lyft or an Uber please. Stay safe" Allie told the two couples.

They nodded before saying their goodbyes and heading out.

"Hey. Until what time can Greta watch Mia?" (Y/N) asked the more than tipsy Alex next to her.

The forward was feeling a bit woozy, already leaning her head on (Y/N)'s shoulder.

"She can watch her until 10pm I think" Alex said. (Y/N) looked at her watch and it was already past nine.

"It's past nine. Do you want to head back already?" (Y/N) said. Alex checks her phone and nods lazily.

"Alright. I'll get us a Lyft. I still gotta get my car at your place" (Y/N) said. Alex hummed in approval.

She sends a weak glare at Kelley and Allie's way when they wiggle their eyebrows at her while (Y/N) was busy with her phone.

After a few minutes, their Lyft driver had arrived and (Y/N) helped Alex get up.

"It was really nice getting to catch up guys. Let's do this again soon" (Y/N) said, looking at Allie and Kelley.

"Definitely" Allie said. (Y/N) smiled before assisting Alex out.

Alex spared a look at Allie and Kelley before they headed out the door. Her two friends winked at her and gave her a thumbs up.

She laughed and flipped them off. The Lyft ride home was filled with comfortable silence, both of them buzzed enough to just enjoy each other's company.

When they finally arrived, (Y/N) walked with Alex inside. They find Greta waiting in the living room.

"Hey. Mia's already asleep upstairs" Greta said, standing up and gathering her things.

"Thanks, Greta. Sorry we were out a bit late" Alex said, looking apologetically at the teen.

She shrugged and smiled.

"Mia's an angel, it's no problem" Greta said. Alex handed her the payment and she headed out.

"Are you sure you're sober enough to drive?" Alex said, turning her attention to (Y/N).

"I guess so" (Y/N) said. She wasn't drunk, but she definitely wasn't completely sober. Alex scrunched up her brows.

"That's not good enough. Why don't you stay the night?" Alex offered without thinking. They both blushed at the prospect.

"I-i mean, if you want" Alex said. (Y/N) smiled.

"I'd love to" (Y/N) answered. Alex grinned.

"Great. I'll just check on Mia. You can freshen up in the bathroom in my room" Alex said. (Y/N) nodded.

(Y/N) headed to her car to get a spare set of clothes she always kept there for emergencies.

She mentally thanked herself for doing that because she would definitely not look good in Alex's clothes.

Maybe the other way around would work, she thought. The image of Alex wearing her clothes entered her mind and she blushed.

"Great now that's stuck in my head" (Y/N) grumbled to herself.

She went back inside and stopped in her tracks when she realized she didn't know where Alex's room was.

She sighed and pulled out her phone. She really couldn't call out for Alex if Mia was already asleep.

Ok I just realized I don't know which one is your room. (Y/N) typed. She pressed send and waited for a bit before Alex's reply came.

Oh shit yeah, sorry. Second door to the left upstairs. Alex's text read.

(Y/N) made her way up and walked to Alex's room. But the sight of Alex and Mia caught her eye in the room before Alex's.

Mia was fast asleep, hugging a soccer ball plushie with Alex stroking her hair.

(Y/N) smiled to herself and proceeded to enter Alex's room. She helped herself to the bathroom and freshened up.

She was just about finishing up when she heard the door open and close, meaning that Alex was probably already in the room.

(Y/N) walked out with her worn out Portland Thorns jersey and shorts. Alex chuckled at her wardrobe choice.

"What? It was the only thing I had in the car" (Y/N) said defensively. Alex laughed and approached her.

"I think it's cute. It still suits you" Alex said, looking up at (Y/N). The latter swore she could get lost in those blue eyes forever.

"Why thank you" (Y/N) managed with a smile. Alex smiles back and proceeds to side step her way into the bathroom.

"My turn" Alex said, closing the door on (Y/N).

Having nothing to do while waiting for Alex, (Y/N) looked around the room. She noticed Alex's soccer trophies on full display on a shelf next to her study table.

She also took a peek at the framed photos on the wall. Their World Cup victories, including the 2023 one that (Y/N) wasn't a part of, club pictures from Orlando, a few photos of her and Mia.

(Y/N) smiled, looking at Alex's face on the photographs. She swore that smile could light up a whole room.

(Y/N) is brought out of her thoughts when Alex walks out of the bath. (Y/N) looks up at almost passes out then and there.

The former Orlando star is wearing nothing but a tank top and short shorts and she really doesn't want to stare so she avoids looking at Alex in general.

"I-uh, I'm going to head down Al. Good night!" (Y/N) stuttered out, making a beeline for the door.

But Alex grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop.

"Why?" Alex said, her eyes a bit glassy still because of the alcohol.

"So I could sleep in the couch?" (Y/N) said, almost as a question.

"You could sleep here with me. I mean, the bed's big enough for the both of us" Alex said. (Y/N) was putty in her hands, especially with the tinge of hope she could hear in Alex's request.

"Are you sure, Al? I wouldn't want to intrude on your personal space" (Y/N) said. But Alex is already dragging her to the bed.

"You won't. I promise" Alex said. (Y/N) can feel her heart pounding when they get settled.

She tries to focus on her breathing, it was just Alex. Friends do this all the time right? Right.

"Will you cuddle me?" Alex said. Even in the darkness of the room (Y/N) could see the sparkle in Alex's eyes.

She couldn't really say no to that.

"Okay" (Y/N) said, wrapping her arms around Alex. The latter buries herself in the other woman's arm. Feeling warm at the contact.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)" Alex said, smiling contentedly. If it was the alcohol or (Y/N)'s embrace, she didn't know but she felt the most calm she's ever been in years.

"Goodnight, Al" (Y/N) said, still trying to keep her pounding heart at bay.

To be continued.

[jennie-writes]

damaged goods

pairing: jennie kim x kim jisoo word count: 1.8k words genre: angsty & insecure jennie  warnings: cursing author’s note: i'm back! this time with jensoo content. hopefully someone appreciates this. i think i put a lot of myself into jennie

jennie has her demons and maybe she needs a little saving

Fresh air. That was the first thing Jennie thought of when she finished her part of the group’s comeback photoshoot. That’s how she found herself sitting on the edge of a pier in one of Seoul’s hottest summer evenings. Their shoot had ended a little past 4pm and a little bit over an hour later, Jennie was sat on the pier at their “secret” lake (the girls and her had stumbled across this place on a random adventurous night when they were still trainees. It became their safe space, almost. A place the girls would escape to when their world gets too overwhelming). The last time Jennie was here by herself must have been over a year ago. Right after news of her & Kai broke the internet and when Jennie painfully finds out that people only love her when she’s perfect.

Jennie lets her feet dangle over the edge, her toes gently skimming the water’s surface.  The lake stretches out for miles and Jennie lets herself imagine that somewhere over the horizon, an alternate life waits for her.

Jennie has always been a fan of water (the group’s Hawaii trip being proof of that. There wasn’t a day where Jennie wasn’t out by the beach, simply admiring the way the waves crash on the shore, over and over again. The only constant she can believe in at the moment, she thinks). So right now, staring down into the calm lake, the water looks deep and inviting and Jennie almost slides off the pier in favour of letting the cool water engulf her.

She had been sitting out there for a couple of hours now. The skies were no longer a bright blue, instead transforming into beautiful hues of yellow and orange as the sun slowly makes its descend. Jennie sat facing the setting sun, her back to the world. Looking down, she finally sees herself on the reflective surface of the murky, blue water.

Jennie sees what other people see; A beautiful young woman with cat-like eyes and an almost dangerous smile. Her face is nothing short of perfection, as if God himself took the time to sculpt Jennie Kim’s face with the image of an ethereal goddess in mind. Men wanted to sleep with her and women wanted to be her. Sometimes, the other way around too. She doesn’t usually indulge but there were a couple of nights where she entertained some fans and they were lucky enough to have seen Jennie Kim behind closed doors (an NDA was always signed because Jennie was many things but she isn’t an idiot). A girl with a seemingly perfect life. Little did anyone know, her life strayed far from perfect.

“Hey.” Jennie hears an all-too-familiar voice greet her. It didn’t surprise her one bit. Honestly, she wonders why it took so long for someone to come find her. She had been gone for a few hours now at this point, her phone successfully ignored. It’s not like Jennie had the freedom to just…disappear. Though sometimes she wishes she could.

Jennie doesn’t look up, content on ignoring the woman that interrupted her peace. She keeps staring at her reflection in the water, carefully mulling over each feature on her face, silently loathing herself more and more as the seconds tick by. After a few minutes of silence, the woman gently sighs and plops down next to Jennie. Jennie scrunches up her face in mild annoyance, not at the other woman but at herself. She wasn’t sure why.  

“Jisoo” Jennie finally acknowledges the presence of the woman sitting next to her.

“Jennie” Jisoo echoes back, almost teasingly.

Jennie almost cracks a smile at that. Almost.

“I called you a few times. When you didn’t answer, I immediately knew you would be here. So, I came here to check on you,” Jisoo admits.

Jennie searches her eyes and found that Jisoo was being completely honest and sincere. A surge of over-whelming emotions course through her. Jennie does not deserve this. She doesn’t deserve Jisoo’s kindness.

“You deserve the world and more, Jennie.”

Jennie looks at Jisoo, confused. Realisation dawns on her. She must have voiced her thoughts out loud.

Jennie takes a moment to properly look at Jisoo. Jisoo, with soft, luscious hair gently framing her perfect face. Jisoo, with her pretty eyes and heart-shaped lips. Jisoo, Jisoo, Jisoo. Gosh, she was beautiful.

“Thank you, Jendeuk.” Jisoo says, almost shyly.

Jennie curses under her breath. Apparently she can’t keep her fucking thoughts in her head today. Jennie turns her face away from Jisoo and back to the setting sun.

Jennie thinks of all the times she had pushed Jisoo away and ran. Both figuratively and literally. Jisoo just kept coming back into her life, quipped with a witty remark and unparalleled kindness that could put a smile on her face, even on the worst days. She had never felt so grateful.

Tears silently stream down Jennie’s face without her realizing. She lets out a strangled cry as she tries (and miserably fails) to control her emotions.

Jisoo, poor Jisoo, was not in the slightest bit prepared for the sudden outburst. A crying Jennie wasn’t new by any means. Jennie has cried in front of her more times than she could count. Usually, Jennie lets out gentle sobs and cuddles into Jisoo’s side as she works out whatever war that was raging in her head that day. But right now, Jennie wasn’t gently crying and she wasn’t tucked into Jisoo’s side. This Jennie was crying her heart out and hiding her face in her hands as heartbreaking sobs wrack through her whole body.

Jisoo thinks she can physically feel her heart crack when she realises Jennie’s whole body is shaking as she tries to regain control over her emotions.

“Hey, Jennie. Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Jisoo doesn’t hesitate to pull Jennie into her embrace. She murmurs soothing words into Jennie’s ears and holds Jennie in her comforting arms as Jennie freely sobs into Jisoo’s chest.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, baby. I am here. I love you,” Jisoo murmurs soothingly, running her fingers lightly through Jennie’s soft, wavy strands.

Jisoo feels Jennie stiffen in her embrace as the confession sinks into Jennie’s mind. Jennie tears herself from Jisoo’s arm and stares incredulously at her. Jennie was surprisingly met by Jisoo’s determined expression. Jisoo knows what she said and long gone were the times Jisoo would play her confessions of love off as ‘friendly’. Jisoo firmly decides that she’s not taking it back anytime soon.

“Why?” Jennie manages to get out in between sobs. “Why do you love me? I’m damaged goods, Jisoo. Damaged fucking goods. You deserve someone better.”

“No.” Jisoo says, a little too harshly. She immediately softens up as she saw Jennie flinch at her harsh tone. “Never, Jennie. You are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you.” Jisoo feels light. As if her confession finally sets her soul free. “I am in fucking love with you, Jennie Kim.” Jisoo says, her smile wide on her face.

Jennie lets out a humorless laugh and it almost immediately wipes the smile off Jisoo’s face. The atmosphere suddenly turns cold as Jennie fixes a challenging stare towards Jisoo.

“I am damaged goods,” Jennie starts. “Damaged goods. Broken beyond fucking repair. You cannot fucking love me, Jisoo. You just can’t-,” her voice gets more and more hysterical with each statement.

Jisoo silences Jennie by crashing their lips together. Jennie can only widen her eyes as her senses were engulfed in all things Jisoo. Jisoo’s soft lips. Jisoo’s hand gently resting on her thigh. Jisoo’s intoxicating scent. Jisoo, Jisoo, Jisoo.

Neither girls dared to move a muscle and Jisoo almost pulls back with an apology ready at her lips when she suddenly feels Jennie’s soft lips tentatively move against hers. Jisoo slowly reaches out and caresses Jennie’s face. They stay like that for a while, just kissing softly and relishing in each other’s presence.

When Jennie finally calms down and physically relaxes into the kiss, Jisoo pulls away slowly so she can look Jennie in the eyes.  Jennie has never looked more beautiful in Jisoo’s eyes. Her eyes were glazed over and a small smile was playing at her lips. Jisoo wants nothing more than to spend the entire evening mapping Jennie’s entire body with kisses. Jisoo gently shakes herself out of her stupor as she carefully phrases her next words.

“You are not damaged goods, Jennie Kim. You are a perfect and whole human being. You’re so so beautiful and kind and just-“

It was Jisoo’s turn to be surprised as Jennie grabs her face and silences her with a searing kiss. There is a sense of urgency behind this kiss, unlike the first kiss they shared. As if Jennie is trying her hardest to take in Jisoo’s words and fight against everything she believes in. And Jisoo lets her.

Eventually, breathing becomes a necessity and they pull away from each other. They rest their foreheads against each other as both girls slowly regain their composure. Jisoo takes this moment to take in Jennie’s appearance. Her disheveled hair, her heaving chest and her kiss-bruised lips. God, Jennie was sexy. Jisoo takes a deep breath and continues her rant from earlier before she was rudely (not really) interrupted.

“You deserve to be loved, Jennie. Let me love you. You are not damaged goods and you never will be.”

Jennie just stares at Jisoo as she tries to process what she just heard. Jisoo can see the insecurities in Jennie’s eyes and she wordlessly brings Jennie into a comforting hug. Jennie can feel the tears start to fill her eyes as she takes in a shaky breath to try and quell her overwhelming urge to just launch herself into the water. Jisoo says nothing and proceeds to rub soothing circles on Jennie’s back.

Jisoo gives Jennie some time to process all that she had said. Jennie is grateful for that. Jisoo never pushes her. Jisoo always gives her enough space, even when she never asks her to. Jisoo understands Jennie. Jennie looks into Jisoo’s unguarded eyes. As Jisoo looks at her with a soft, loving gaze, Jennie realizes something.

“I love you too.”

It took all of 2 seconds before Jisoo’s face split into a wide, toothy grin. She gathers Jennie up into her embrace and kisses her like her life depended on it. Jennie lets out a long, contented sigh. She finally feels relaxed for the first time in years. Years of cooped up frustration burst out of her and she allows it to flow out of her system. As Jennie sinks into Jisoo’s embrace, she thinks ‘finally’. Jennie knows that this is only the beginning and that they still have a long way to go. But, right now, at this moment, Jennie thanks her lucky stars that a certain Kim Jisoo is in her life. Jennie thinks that maybe one day she can learn to defeat her demons and become a better Jennie Kim. The Jennie Kim that Jisoo deserves.

Jisoo is Jennie’s castle that stands firm and protects her from all evil. Jisoo loves Jennie and Jennie loves Jisoo. And Jennie can only dare hope that they can finally live their happy ever after.

[taylorhardybby]

sequinned booty’s and baby blues// two.

Hey, so its been a while and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so I’m really sorry about that. currently, I’m almost done writing chapter 4 ( I like to be ahead) so if I get some feedback ill probably post chapter 3 pretty soon. as always this is proudly trash but I try really hard so I hope you enjoy. please leave feedback (OF ANY KIND)

this is like half edited so apologies 

until then xo- I

3k words 

It was almost a week until Lila saw them again, she had spent her nights and early mornings working at the bar. At first the job seemed hard but, in the end, she loved it.  Although the wage wasn’t great, tips made up for it. With a flirty smile and unbuttoning a few extra buttons Lila’s tips almost doubled and she couldn’t be happier.

Most of her days were spent writing music. She was desperate to get enough money for a piano, but she knew that would take a while.  That was the first thing she missed from home. Her piano. She had gotten it as a birthday gift when she was 7 and it was one of her most prized possessions. That was in the past now.

Currently, she was standing in the bar, it was 5pm and apart from the two men in the corner of the bar, it was empty. The band for tonight was supposed to arrive any minute, so while she waited Lila wiped down all the tables and helped tidy the bar. Lila was so distracted stacking the clean glasses that when she heard a cough, she dropped the glass in her hand.

She turned so quickly curses spilled from her lips but quickly stopped when she saw who had scared her. Roger. The angel-faced drummer, that could charm the pants off anyone. Not that’s Lila cared it had been a while since she got any and she was sure he’d be good. She just liked the chase.

“Hello Lila” his voice was so amazing, and Lila couldn’t help but imagine how it would sound in bed,

“Hello Roger, how are you” she tried to play hard to get she really did, but she knew, and he probably did too, that he was just much too attractive for his own good.

“much better now you’re here love, could I grab a drink thanks” he was flirting, fucking typical. As Lila poured his drink, they chatted about nothing in particular.

As they set up and practised a few notes, the bar began to fill, and it got increasing busy. The show went well, everyone cheered them on, Lila found herself bopping and long to most of the songs. By the end, she had memorised most of the lyrics and even a few chords. She wrote them down on a napkin that she put in her back pocket.

It was past 1 and the bar was finally slowing down, the boys were packing up finally after doing another unplanned half set and they all looked exhausted. Lila poured four pints and walked them backstage.

Freddie was the first to see her,

“Darling, how great were we” the smile on his face made her smile as well and even though they were barely strangers she felt much calmer in his presence.

“absolutely amazing, you guys are wonderful” although Freddie was the only one around, she was sure her compliments would get back to everyone soon enough,

“we really are aren’t we” they both laughed softly.

Lila placed the drinks on a nearby table and sat down on the chair, sighing as she sat down.

“Lila, darling you are absolutely gorgeous. But you look complete exhausted” Freddie sat down next to her and pushed the hair that framed her face back.

“how long have you been working today” Lila looked at her watch and did the mental math,

“well I started just after midday so about 13 hours give or take” Freddie gasped and tutted

“You will run yourself ragged working like that”

“I’m not working tomorrow so I’ll be fine,” Lila said aloud more so to convince herself, but she needed the money. She had told her self she wouldn’t touch her trust money unless she absolutely needed it. She didn’t.

Lila went back to the bar and Hudson told her to finish up she could go home. He gave her the weeks’ pay which she tucked away in the pocket of her coat. She grabbed her small purse and started walking home.  It was cold. She had her big red coat, which was doing a lousy job of keeping her warm. Her uniform consisted of black high waisted shorts and a white long-sleeved button up. She left more than necessary buttons undone and always wore her best push up bra. She left her hair out in its natural waves and did her usual minimal natural makeup.  As for footwear, she wore her knee-high heeled black boots and some tan stocking underneath. It was a simple uniform, but it was flattering.

Never the less when she was walking home of a night even with her coat, she was cold. She had barely gotten 100m from the pub when a van pulled up beside her, she moved away from the road and kept walking.

“Lila, do you want a lift home” it was Roger, she let out a sigh of relief as she turned.

“It’s fine really It’s only a 10-minute walk” she didn’t want to be annoying,

“It’s late and it’s not safe to be walking around, just get in love” Lila nodded and mumbled an okay as she walked around to get in the passenger seat.  

Lila gave the easy directions and Roger drove, he pulled up directly out the front and Lila thanked him. He waited as she walked over to the door and started fishing around in her purse for the keys.

“fuck me” she tried to say it quietly, but the annoyance was obvious.  Roger had a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, as he watched her stand at the door.

“everything ‘right”

“I can’t find my keys, I must have forgotten them when I rushed to work earlier” she ran a hand through her hair and exhaled loudly.

Roger thought for a moment, but his intentions were totally innocent,

“you could come to stay with me, just wait until the morning to sort it out” he took the final drab of his cigarette before continuing, “Fred said you had the day off tomorrow”

Lila thought about it, she really had nowhere else to go.

“are you sure”

“positive”

“okay if it’s alright, I promise I'll pay you back somehow”

“Oh, I’m sure you will” Roger teased, and winked at Lila.  She scoffed as she sat back in the van.

The night went fairly normal. Roger insisted on taking the couch and letting Lila have his bed, but Lila refused to kick him out of his own bed. So, they mutually agreed to share the bed. As they laid in darkness Lila faced the wall, away from Roger, smiling.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, he was cute and charming. it could never happen. She would not let it happen. It wasn’t hard to understand his reputation and she would not become one of those girls. She didn’t want to get tangled up in a boy. She was here for the music.

She woke up just after sunrise, after quickly finding a notebook and pen she wrote a thank you note and left some money on top.  She snuck out as quietly as she could, but she tripped on the mat, landing with a thud. Earning her a dirty look from the old lady down the hall that was collecting her paper.

Lila sat out the front of her apartment building until one of the neighbours walked out and she snuck in through the door after them. She thought that she had been clever to leave a key hidden by her door, but she had conveniently forgotten about needing a key for the apartment door.

Once she got inside, she showered and flopped back into bed, falling into a deep sleep. It was as just passed midday when she woke so after some coffee and a cookie, she started writing.

When I'm with you, I can never read your mind Why don't you know? I'm lying when I say I'm fine

Why don't you learn how to love me? When I can't sleep, would you hold me? I'd only cry if I can't speak Should've shown you how to love me

Lila sat on her living room floor scrap paper filled with lyrics and chords surrounding her, as she sang lyrics and strummed out the melody on her guitar. Her perfect voice filled the practically bare apartment, giving each word a perfect echo.  If you had of been listening, you could have sworn it was an angel.

It was dark out by the time the song was finished to Lila’s standards. She was happy, over the last week she had written countless songs but none of them felt so right. As a treat she started to run the bath, adding in some of the cheap shampoos she had brought to make bubbles. Baths always relaxed her, as her body felt like it was aching.

As she sat in the bath, she made a mental list of what she needed to do.

Firstly, she needed to get her hands on a piano. It was killing her not being able to compose on one and if she dipped into her trust money, she should have enough to get one second-hand.

Secondly, she needed to try and line up some gigs. She didn’t start until 4pm tomorrow so she would spend most of her day walking around to the cafes and bars nearby.

Thirdly she needed to buy more coffee. That was absolutely essential.

The bath water eventually went cold, so she got out and dried off, changing into some bell bottom jeans and mustard coloured cropped tee that she tied into a knot. She grabbed her purse and keys and left her apartment.  

The weeks went on and nothing much changed. Lila worked into the early morning hours most nights, she would write all day and on days off she would walk around the city trying to get gigs. Nothing worked.  Nowhere would let her play. She had been to every single Queen performance since she stayed at Roger’s. According to him, that was how she was paying him back.

Lila grew closer with the entire band.

She and Freddie would spend hours shopping and creating new ‘stage clothes’. Funnily enough, she was roughly the same size, so Freddie practically used Lila as a human mannequin. She didn’t mind. She loved how Freddie would shower her with compliments and boost her confidence like no other. Freddie reminded her of Rosie. Lila tried to ignore how much she missed Rosie, so she distracted herself with Freddie.

Brian became sort of a big brother to Lila, he very quickly became the one for all sorts of advice and help. He also came in handy when Lila had to build her furniture, she was slowly filling her apartment with.  Brian reminded her of home, it helped more than he probably knew.

John was quiet and just watched from afar for the first month or so, that was he found Lila out the back of the pub she worked at sobbing. Lila had a bad day, from not being able to pick up jobs to slicing her hand on a broken glass had been her tipping point. He held her and listened to her rambling until she calmed down. He would ask how she was, and it was like he could read through all her bullshit, he just knew.  John reminded her of Sadie, though she would never admit it. Not even to herself.  

That left Roger. From the moment Roger and Lila stood in the same room the sexual tension was so thick you could choke. From longing stares and lust filled glances, playful banter and suggestive comments from both sides it was so blinding obvious what they both wanted. It was like it had become a game. Who would crack first? Who would give in.? Lila thought she had the advantage. She would wear her short skirts and low tops; her hair fell perfectly, and she would sway her hips just slightly more. It drove Roger absolutely wild. He knew exactly what she was doing. Two could play that game. He would wear his shirts unbuttoned and hair messy, his smirk would dance across his face whenever their eyes met.  Lila swears she had never been more sexually frustrated in her life.

In the almost three months she had known the boys they had never once asked why she came to London, and in fear of what they would think Lila never told them about her music. She would go to plenty of their band practices and gigs and sing along softly but never enough to catch their attention.

That was until they had all come to her apartment in the afternoon, the only one of them that had ever been inside of her apartment was Brian and they were curious. So, she offered to cook dinner for them. She had the day off, so Lila had gone to the local food market and collected all her ingredients for her favourite meal.  She had cleaned the entire apartment, or so she thought she had grown so accustomed to the papers covered in sheet music and lyrics that she just straightens them, not thinking to move or hide them.

When she heard the door knock it was, of course, Brian and John, perfectly on time. Lila welcomed them in offering drinks and what not. The three sat around in her living room just chatting as they waited for the other two to arrive. Roger arrived next. Looking absolute ravishing of course, not that Lila would ever let Roger know that.

“ finally gracing us with your presence”  Lila tone was jokingly as she took his coat and hung it up for him, Roger got distracted by Lila’s ass before she shook himself out of his trance and commented back,

“yeah well I was deciding if I wanted to be poisoned or not”  they both playfully rolled their eyes and they got comfortable in the living room, joining in with Brain and Johns conversation  

Freddie arrived not much later, fashionably late of course. Dinner goes well everyone enjoys Lila’s cooking, playful banter was thrown across the table and everyone had a smile. After dinner, everyone retreated back into the living room and Roger is fidgeting with the papers sitting on the table next to him,  too distracted by Lila’s tight Demin skirt and dusty rosy coloured shirt that’s expertly tied just above her navel. Her legs are crossed, and her head was held up by her arm resting on the edge of the sofa. She was listening so intently to Brian’s story about space or something boring that Roger was sure of.

He looks down at the paper in his hands. It's lyrics. Song lyrics. The music notes below it is a dead giveaway. Roger read through the lyrics quickly and he didn’t recognise them, so it must be an original song. The lyric seemed so personal but also so familiar  and before he could  think the words fell from his lips,

“Lila why didn’t you tell us you wrote music”  the shock on her face cause him off guard, she looked so embarrassed, which he couldn’t understand the song was amazing he was sure it. Lyrically it was stunning.

“Oh, it uh never really came up I guess” Roger rolled his eyes, why would she hide this. She was clearly talented.  But before he could question further Freddie jumped in,

“so you sing my darling, what about instruments” Lila nodded and looked down playing with her hands as she spoke

“Yeah I uh I sing, and I play the guitar, and piano since preschool and little drums as well” she paused before continuing “I played bass a little in high school as well, but it hurt my fingers too much, so I gave up”  they all sat there astounded.

Lila. Their Lila sounded like a music prodigy and there she was working in some dodgy bar in downtown London.

“well love you must simply play something for us, something you’ve written please” Lila shook her head,

“Fred i-I couldn’t, I’ve played in front of plenty of people but you’re the best musicians I’ve ever seen It would just be embarrassing”  Freddie wasn’t having any of it he wanted to hear Lila play. He would hear Lila play if it was the last thing he did.

“well then I refuse to leave until you do so”  roger piped up as well,

“me too I wanna hear you” this encouraged Brian and John who both joined the mini protest. Lila rolled her eyes and stood up, of course, they were going to be stubborn mules.

“if it really means that much I’ll play, let me grab my guitar” she scurried off and they all started chatting excitedly. Worried that they may have gotten their hopes up, what if she was bad. They all promised they wouldn’t embarrass her or hurt her feelings no matter what she sounded like.

They all watched her every move as she sat on the armrest, a crème coloured acoustic guitar in her hand. She took a deep breath and started playing,

When I'm with you

I can never read your mind Why don't you know I'm lying when I say I'm fine Why don't you learn

How to love me When I can't sleep Would you hold me I'd only cry If I can't speak Should've to show you How to love me

Her voice was so angelic. Everyone sat there in awe as she played and sand the entire song not missing a beat. Her dainty fingers danced across the strings playing chords like they were made for her.  She finished, and nobody moved. Everyone was so entranced by her voice and the melody to even say a word.

“I knew it was bad, I …i shouldn’t have played just forget” Freddie scoffed he looked almost offended,

“forget, you want me to forget the best voice I’ve ever heard, darling you’re an angel”  Lila tried to shoot down the compliment, but no one would let her get a word in between their praises.

“play us another darling will you please”

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part Seven

*TRIGGER WARNING: This scene discusses self harm as well as sexual assault. If you need to skip this part, please do so. Please remember if you or someone you know have suffered from sexual assault, there is a link for if you want to reach out: https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Also, if you’d like to message me to talk – I am always here to talk and listen!*

Things go from bad to worse. I promise, things will all fall into place after this part...just have to go through some ugly stuff to get those rainbows.

The 4th of July, a wonderful day in our country. We all get to eat unhealthy foods, blow shit up, drink and party to celebrate our independence. I started this holiday by working a 12-hour night shift. Kendra was walking in as I was walking out, she wasn’t on the clock until Noon, but someone was a no show and that girl is always about making an extra dollar.

It’s now 7:45am, I eat a bagel and drink some chocolate milk because deep down, I’m still a five-year-old at heart.

“Hey, I may be out of here at 3 but if that’s the case I’m going home to nap and I’ll just meet you at the clubhouse later on. I’ll be there for the fireworks.” Kendra texts me right before I go to bed for the day.

“Sounds good, love.” I text back and then I fall asleep.

It’s now 4pm, I literally slept all day - I must have needed it.

I wake up to a bunch of texts, a dozen from Kenz as she was bored at work. She did get off early but now she’s taking her own nap.

Coco texted me asking what time I was going to be there, mentioning Letty was going to be hanging around today and wanted me to keep her company at some point. Lastly, Bishop texted me saying he’s excited to see me.

I manage to get myself out of bed, I look at my mirrored closet and I’m disgusted with my current appearance.

“Jesus, did I go to rave in my sleep?” I ask myself as I survey the bird’s nest on my head. I take a rinse off shower and opt for the dry shampoo look as this is a simple clubhouse party; I’m not impressing anyone tonight.

“Do I try to go all Miley for this holiday or do I try to be the good wholesome All-American Girl?” I ask myself as I stare at my closet pondering life.

After a half hour of sitting in my towel and browsing social media, I opt for a red and navy light weight flannel, white tank and a pair of jean shorts, converse to complete this casual look - “I’m patriotic AF.” I say as I pose in my mirror.

As I’m go to do my hair, I notice my Claddagh ring on my dresser - the sparkle of the emerald is catching my eye, “Okay Grams, I’ll wear the ring. 4th of July is special, I guess.” I say to myself as I slip my ring on. 

I put my hair in a weak side braid, gather my purse, phone and the pasta salad I volunteered to bring because doesn’t every 4th of July party involve some sort of pasta salad? - and then I make my way out the door. 

I pull up to the scrapyard, and Chucky is directing traffic.

“Nurse Aleeah! I’m so happy to see you! Plus, you’re not here for work, that must be a first.” He says to me as he opens my Jeep door.

“Hey Chucky, I think you’re right - this just might be the first time I’ve been here not on nurse duty.” I say to him as he helps grab my pasta bowl and hands it to me. In the distance I hear shouting of some sort, I look over by the fighting cage and my favorite victims are already going at it.

“I may have spoken too soon.” Chucky whispers.

I look at Chucky and quirk a look, “I’m going to take care of this right now.”

I strut right over to the Reyes brothers, pasta salad bowl in hand and all.

“Hey, Dumb and Dumber, can’t we get along for one fucking day?” I shout.

Both boys look away from me, “Oh I’m sorry, was I interrupting? Was I being rude?” I say with sass.

“It’s fine, Lee.” EZ says and shrugs his shoulders looking at his brother. “Yup, we’re fine Leah.” Angel spits back.

Angel takes a step and walks briskly past me, but I’m not in the mood for that today.

“Hey, douchebag.” I holler going after him, which causes him to spin around as quickly as he started walking.

“What?” He spits again.

“I don’t appreciate your attitude towards me these last few days. All I do is save you time and time again, Angel. Don’t treat me like some biker slut when I ask how you’re doing - I fucking stitch you whole again and again, I think I’ve earned a little bit of respect; especially if you tell others I’m the only one you trust.” I end with a whisper.

“Who told you that?” He asks with a nervous look.

“You’re wonderful girlfriend.” I say with another attitude, and just as those words leave my tongue, he turns back and heads towards the clubhouse.

EZ then comes up behind me, “What EZ?” I ask in a grouchy tone.

“He and Adelita are done, broken up or whatever. That’s what he and I were discussing over there. I asked him where he’s been lately, and that’s when he said he told her he was done, and he left her a few days ago.”

I stare at EZ and back towards the Clubhouse with my jaw dropped.

He dumped her...why?

Is she going to come after him?

So many thoughts race through my mind.

“I need to get this pasta inside.” I stutter and before EZ can even respond, I’m on autopilot to the clubhouse.

I’m greeted by Gilly and Riz, Riz takes my pasta bowl and puts it on the table with the other dishes.

It’s already getting busy up in here, a lot of families are hanging around inside and it seems as they are prepping to take most of the party outside in the yard. “Remind me again, why the hell is the clubhouse the hosting spot this year?” I ask Gilly.

“Well, last year we may or may not have sparked a little fire at Bishop’s place, so it was that night he declared next year’s party would be held at the clubhouse and here are.”

“Ahh, I see. Nothing says independence like having a party with outlaws.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Leah.” Gilly jokes as he gives me a half hug.

“Aleeah!” I hear Bishop shout as he enters the room. “How are you, sweetheart?” He asks as he kisses my cheek.

“I’m good. Survived my night shift, slept all day, pasta salad was made and now I’m here.” I say with a smile.

“I’m glad you’re here and it’s not for medical reasons.” He says with a laugh.

“Shh, the night hasn’t even begun. There’s plenty of time for fuckery.” I say with a cautious smile.

I chat with a few of the guys for a few moments, I then see Angel emerge and our eyes lock.

The spark that was there, it’s gone now.  I so badly want to talk to him, but I don’t even know how to start a conversation with him without straight for a sassy comment.  

“Hey Bish, Oakland will be here in a little bit.” I hear Hank say from the bar.

I look over at Hank’s way and back at Bishop…Oakland...Erik...fuck fuck fuck.

“Oakland is coming?” I nervously question Bish.

“Oh yeah, some of them called asking what we were doing so I invited them down to join our big fiesta. It’s going to be great, right?” He says as he gives me another half hug.

I stand there frozen and I just nod my head.

Erik is coming. I just know it.

I reach for my phone and text Kendra. I know she’s still sleeping, but maybe I’ll get lucky. My nerves are now in high gear.

That is when Coco comes to my rescue for the time being. “Lee Lee!” He shouts as he comes in for a hug.

“Coco, how are you doing? Everything healing up alright?” I ask doing a once over.

“Yeah, I’m feeling good. Leg is a little sore, but I’m fine. Leticia is in the office, I had her finish up some filing shit – keeping her busy. She always enjoys chatting with you, so if you could go say hi to her, that would make me super happy.” Coco says with a small smile.

“Oh my gosh, of course Coco. I could use a distraction right now actually, so I’ll go visit her right now.” I say ready to head out the door but Coco holds me back, “Angel has been an asshole to everyone lately, don’t take it too personal, Lee. He broke it off with Adelita right after we got the clear to leave the clubhouse, I guess he’s taking it a little harder than he had planned.”

I wasn’t even referring to Angel, but the explanation does justify his attitude – it still isn’t acceptable.

“Thanks of the heads up.” I say with a small smile as I head out of the clubhouse and head to the office.

“Knock Knock.” I say as I slowly open the door to find Letty at the desk.

“Leah!” She says with excitement.

“How are you Letty?” I ask as she gets up and greets me with a hug.

“I’m alright, as you can see my dad is keeping me busy.” She tells me as she shows the piles of folders on the desk.

“He’s just keeping you safe.” I assure her.

“That’s what they keep telling me.” She says as she sits back down.

“So, how is everything going? I’ve heard EZ and Angel have kept you busy.” She says with a small giggle.

“Boys, nothing good comes from them.” I respond shaking my head. 

“I mean, some good things come from them.” Letty says with a wink.

“Jesus child, you’re not even legal to vote yet. Calm down.” I reprimand with a laugh.

Letty and I continue to catch up on life, she asks me a lot about the clinic and hospital.

I get lost in a daze and find myself snapping my ponytail on my wrist and then Letty snaps me out of it, “Leah are you alright?” She worriedly asks.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” I say with a flat face, still snapping my pony-tail.

“Can I ask you something?” Letty asks sharply, yet eagerly.

“Of course, shoot.”

“I don’t want to upset you or anything, I’m genuinely curious about this and that’s why I’m asking; why do you snap that pony tail holder so often? Is it like a therapy thing?”

I’m a bit taken a back by her words, only because I’ve never had anyone question the ponytail before.

“Huh, that is a good question, Letty. Umm, I guess there is no easy way to come out and say this so here it goes; I use to cut myself when I was around your age. I was one of those teens that used this as a stupid coping mechanism when my mom was too drugged out to give a damn, or when her drug dealer boyfriend would knock me around – the last time I cut myself was last year and that’s because I was hurt really bad. Before that, I think I was around 21 when I last cut myself. I snap the pony tail whenever I feel nervous or anxious, figured it’s safer to snap elastic than use a blade.” I say with some humor because I hate serious talks, they just never end well in my history.

Leticia just stares at my wrist and then up at me, “Fuck, Leah. I’m so sorry – I had no idea.”

“Oh no, don’t apologize. You asked, I wanted to give you a truthful answer.” I reply with a smile.

“So, the hair tie prevents you from making the choice to cut yourself?” She asks.

“Yeah, it does. In rare moments when I’m not wearing one, it’s not for long. Just remember this, if you see a naked wrist for more than an hour,– that usually means something horrible happened and I’m being an idiot.”  

I leave Letty to finish up the work Coco had left for her.

As I walk through the yard, I see a lot more people are here. Women, their kids, other friends of the club are all here for a big 4th of July bash.

I see a few of the boys on the grill, prepping for the big feast. Everyone is smiling, laughing, music is playing; it’s perfect, in a very dysfunctional biker way.

I make my way to the door of the clubhouse and that’s when I hear a roar of bikes.

Oakland is here.

I rush inside as if it’s my safe zone.

I see EZ and Gilly by the pool table, Angel is on the couch with a few whores hanging on him. I go by EZ, I know he’ll keep me safe.

My stomach is in knots, as I know Erik is here. I haven’t seen him, but I just know it. I don’t want him to walk in here, but I almost want him to so I can get this over with.

Jesus, I need Kendra.

As I watch the guys play pool, I reach in my pocket for my phone so I can text Kendra yet again.

“When will you be here? I need you.” I type out and press send.

“I just woke up, I’ll be there in a little.” Kenz replies.

I let out a sigh, wishing my best friend would just hurry her ass up.

“Everything alright, Lee?” EZ asks as he heard my sigh.

“Yeah, I just want Kenz to be here already.” I admit.

“I think she’ll be here in a little.” He says.

“Oh will she now? You know her schedule now?” I tease. EZ just flashes me a big smile.

“Hey guys, food is ready!” Riz comes in and announces. Most of the crowd inside heads outside, some remain inside and snack on what is remaining at the table.

I opt to stay inside because no Oakland guys have come inside yet.

I’m safe.

EZ is still in here.

I’m protected. 

I do not have to be afraid.

I pick at my pasta salad, the nerves are still there.

You know that feeling you get when you just know something is about to happen, you just want that moment to happen and get over with already? That’s me, right now.

Just let Erik walk in, let me see him and then I can make my exit, I think to myself.

I get up to throw away my plate and that is when the clubhouse door opens and my stomach drops.

He’s here.

I look to the door, and a handful of the Oakland guys have now entered.

I’m about to head back by the pool table, but I see EZ heading towards the door.

“I’m gonna be outside for a bit, Kendra is coming now.” He informs me and then as quickly as he informed me, he’s out the door.

A handful of MC friends are now inside, and Angel, He’s at the bar.

I figure this is my chance, I can go make nice with him and use him as my distraction to keep Erik away.

“Hey Angel.” I say as I shimmy between the bar chairs.

“What do you want?” He spits.

“Can’t I just say hi?” I ask.

“Come on, Leah. That’s never the case with us, we never just say ‘hi’”.

He has a point, but I don’t have the time for his logic right now.

“Okay, I umm…I just wanted to talk to you, I first wanted to say I’m sorry to hear about you and Adelita and to also apologize for going off on her the last time we were all in here.”

Angel looks at me, I’m looking at the ground nervously and I feel his gaze on me. I slowly look up, and he’s searching for words.

Just as he’s about to say something, an arm snakes around my waist.

Erik.

“Aleeah, mami. Is this where you have been hiding? Why you hiding baby? You should be out there partying with everyone else.”

“Erik, leave me alone.” I say as I remove his arm from my waist, but he then places his arm there again.

“That’s not so nice, baby. Why you gotta be so rude?” He asks as he rubs my cheek, and I backhand his arm.

“Ooo, still feisty I see.”

“Erik, you’re being rude. Can’t you see I’m talking to Angel?” I motion.

“Oh, we’re done talking.” Angel interjects.

“Angel wait, we need to finish talking. Please, I’m begging you.” I plead as Erik’s grip on my waist gets tighter.

“I love to hear you beg, Mami. Come on, let’s take this party to the next room.” Erik says low, but it’s loud enough for Angel to hear.

“It appears you have someone else wanting your attention, Leah. Have fun.” He says as he walks away and that is when all hope of mine is gone.

I look around the clubhouse and there is not one familiar face around, and now Erik has tightened his grip on my wrists.

“That’s better.” He whispers in my ear.

“Erik, no. Please, please stop whatever this is. I’m not interested.” I beg as I try to push him off of me.

“You know the more you say no, or the more you beg for me to stop, it just turns me on more, baby. Come on, let’s have some fun. I need to show you what you missed out at the last party.” He creepishly says as he runs his finger along my jaw.

I can feel tears forming in my eyes, “No, Erik. Please, stop. Let’s go outside.” I try to suggest.

It’s then when he grabs my face and whispers in my ear, “Nobody gets to see what I’m about to do to you. That’s a private matter, mami. C’mon, lets go.” He says as he now his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet.

I want to scream, but I’m frozen in fear.

He then guides me to one of the rooms down the hall, I drag my feet but he then pulls my hair.

“Let’s go slut, I need to remind you of a few things.” He says as he closes the door. I try to scream but he slaps my face before a sound escapes.

“Don’t be stupid, Leah. Don’t fight me, baby.” He tells me as me touches my face and traces my body with his slimey fingers that makes my body quiver in the worst way.

“Erik, no. please, stop.” I beg as the tears start rolling down my cheeks.

He laughs. He fucking laughs.

He’s holding my wrists so tight, I can’t move if I tried - I’m frozen.

I want to fight, I try to wiggle around him, I try to knee him, I try to hit him. That only results in more bitch slaps and hair pulls.

My poor effort to escape is fading, I almost wish he would just kill me instead, at least I wouldn’t have to relive this pain again.

I then hear a zipper unzip, and I feel his breath on the back of my neck.

It’s happening. Again. 

My worst nightmare is happening again, and I’m helpless. 

[addictingnarry]

The First and Maybe Only One

This one goes to one my fave people @flickerrhoran because you suggested I do “Firsts” and while I don’t think I’ll keep going, it did inspire me to write this and I hope you like it! 

And another shoutout to @wantniallie because you’re always so supportive of me writing anything! 

It was another cold, winter day. Niall had been in and out of meetings all day and even inside he had felt the cold weather. Somehow all of the meetings ran longer than expected and Niall had to rush from each location, get into the car and rush to the next location for his next meeting. Niall made a mental note to wear more layers next time even though he knew that he probably wouldn’t.

By the time he had finished all of this meetings for the day it was already 4pm and he’d been up since 6am. All he wanted was to relax and maybe take a nap. But he couldn’t today. He’s invited some people over for a little party just for the hell of it. Niall thought it would be good to get some friends together, have some beers and order some take out. A proper lads night in. Of course he wouldn’t admit, even to himself, that the real reason he’d wanted to have this little gathering was so he could see Harry for longer than a few minutes.

Things hadn’t been the same in the past few months. Niall had seen and talked to Harry less and less each month but he understood that it was because they were both so busy and at times in different sides of the world. It made Niall feel a little sad, to think about how much he missed all the time he spent with Harry in the past compared to now. He’s taken it for granted and would do anything to see Harry for just a few hours again.

Niall snapped out of his thoughts as he arrived home. He almost ran inside to get away from the cold and turned all of the lights on in his flat. It was almost five now, perfect. He had an hour to shower and get dressed before everyone would show up. As much as Niall wanted to take a quick shower, once the hot water hit his skin he started to feel his muscles begin to relax from the long day. His thoughts began to wonder to times he’d spent with Harry alone. Times where he thought maybe he should do something about his feelings and others where he regretted doing something as subtle as placing his hand on Harry’s thigh because all of a sudden everyone's eyes were on them. Niall decided to turn the water off and get out of the shower before his thoughts got the best of him.

He walked over to his closet with a towel wrapped around his waist. He wondered for a moment what Harry would be wearing. He has to stop this. His thoughts. They can’t get the best of him tonight. He wanted to enjoy the time with his friends. Niall picked out a simple shirt and some black skinny jeans. Finally, he takes a deep breath and starts taking out the snacks he bought so they would have something to eat while everyone got there and he ordered food for dinner. Then Niall walked over to his closet where he has a lot of board games and while that may seem childish he enjoyed playing those games and he wanted everyone coming over to have a good time. Niall had thought ahead and set up a video game area, board game area, food area and tv area that way everyone could do what they wanted.

Just as Niall was putting on some music, there was a knock at his door followed by a loud voice saying, “Open the door Niall!” Niall could recognize DUDE # 1’s voice.  

Everyone started getting there soon after that, all minutes apart. Niall barely even had time to prepare himself when all of a sudden Harry was there, at his door. He was wearing a black button up shirt that wasn’t buttoned up all the way and Niall could see Harry’s chest just slightly.

“Harry!” Niall smiled and went to hug him.

Harry chucked and hugged Niall back, “Hey Niall.”

Fuck, Harry smelled good. He always did but somehow it felt like tonight he smelled especially good. Niall inhaled Harry’s scent once more before pulling back from the hug to look at him.

“Come in, almost everyone is here already,” Niall said and began to guide Harry inside with a hand lightly on his back.

“There’s food, drinks and games. You can choose what you want to do,” Niall told Harry, even though what he really wanted was for Harry to stay by his side the whole night.

“What games do you have?” Harry asked Niall as Harry began to walk over to the board games section, which was empty aside from two guys that Niall didn’t really know but knew were friends of friends.

“I don’t have Scrabble, Harry,” Niall said, knowing that was one of Harry’s favorites.

“Aw, well why not?” Harry asked him, almost pouting at Niall.

“No one ever wants to play it except my mum,” Niall responded as he tried to hide the smile that was forming on his lips.

“And me,” Harry said as he raised an eyebrow at Niall, as if to challenge him.

“And you,” Niall said in the same tone as Harry. “I’ll get Scrabble next time just for you,” Niall adds, not taking his eyes off Harry.

Harry smiled at him, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Niall said with a smile.

Harry and Niall reached the table where the other two guys were and sat down with them. The guy that was sitting against the window had short, dark hair and was pretty muscular. The guy to his left had longer, slightly curly hair and had a pair of glasses on. The guys were in the middle of trying to decide what game they wanted to play.

“Life was my childhood favorite, let's play that first,” the guy against the window said.

“Alright but let’s play Clue after, it’ll take longer,” the guy to his left said.

“Hey, you guys wanna play with us?” the guy against the window asked Harry and Niall.

“Yeah, sure.” Niall said with a nod.

“I’m Sam by the way, I don’t think I’ve met either of you before,” the guy against the window said to them. “And this is Michael,” he added and gestured toward the guy to his left.

They all exchanged names and decided to start playing Life. As they started to play Niall couldn’t help but notice that there seemed to be something seemingly going on between Harry and that Sam guy. Harry had sat down across from him and every time Niall was looking towards Harry, Harry was distractedly looking at Sam. Almost as if he was checking him out. This made Niall feel jealous, even though he had not right to. This went on for most of the game and Niall was frustrated. He wanted all of Harry’s attention on him and definitely not on someone else. Niall sat as close to Harry as he could without making it obvious and kept brushing his arm against Harry’s when it was his turn to move his little car in the game. About half way through the game Harry was the first to land on the ‘get married’ part and it made everyone chuckle as they all ‘ooh’d and ahh’d’ about it jokingly. Harry was playing a second person to his little car when Sam placed his hand on top of Harry’s to stop him.

“Before you do that, you have to say who you’re marrying, it’s a tradition my family and I always had. So Harry, tells us who’s going to be your wife or perhaps, husband?” Sam asked him with a grin, not removing the hand that was on top of Harry’s.

Harry laughed softly and bit his lip as he thought about it.

“Kate Beckinsale,” Harry finally answered. Sam pulled his hand back and said, “Kate Beckinsale it is!”

They kept playing the game but Niall was on edge the whole time, not being able to think past that little encounter between Harry and Sam. In the end, Michael, who had been losing the whole time, ended up winning. They were getting ready to play Clue next when Niall decided it was best to excuse himself to get some air. He hoped that he wouldn't regret leaving them alone but he needed a moment to get himself together again because only Harry could make him feel like this without even doing a fucking thing.

“I’m going to get another beer, anyone want anything?” Niall asked as he got up. Everyone replied that they were good and began to set up the game.

Niall walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer than walked out into the balcony where some of his friends were talking and relaxing. He looked out at the view for a moment before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It has been a stupid idea really, to expect Harry to act any different towards him now. They’d spent months sharing the tour bus, hotel rooms, ideas, hell even clothes, but Niall had always just been another one of Harry’s lads and nothing more. Meanwhile, Niall had begun to see Harry differently as he spent more time together. He saw the Harry that no one else did. The Harry that loved watching old movies because “the classics are the best Niall” he would say. Niall cherished those moments because he felt Harry open up to him. Harry would tell Niall stories about the first time he saw a movie with his family and why it meant so much to him. And sometimes when they were watching these movies, Harry would grab Niall’s arm to get his attention when a part Harry loved would be coming up. Harry would softly grab his arm and tighten his grip as the scene came to. Sometimes Harry would be so caught up in the movie that he didn’t realize that he was still holding on to Niall’s arm and Niall would be happy. He could feel Harry’s soft skin against his. He could feel the warmth and he wanted to stay like that forever.

Just at that moment, Niall felt a hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes and turned around to see Harry standing there.

“Oh hey,” Niall said and cleared his throat, trying to forget the memories still at the surface.

“You okay, mate?” Harry asked, looking slightly concerned.

“Yeah, all good. Just wanted some fresh air,” Niall said and took a sip of his beer.

Harry nodded, dropped his hand from Niall’s shoulder and moved to stand next to him.

“It’s such a nice night, a bit cold though. Aren’t you cold?” Harry asked, watching him.

“Yeah a bit but I’ll go back in soon,” Niall answered, trying to keep his cool under Harry’s watch.

“That was a fun game,” Harry said, not taking his eyes off Niall who was trying to keep his gaze out in front of him as best he could.

“Yeah it was, haven’t played the game in a while,” Niall said.

Harry didn’t respond to that but Niall felt him move closer to him. Niall shivered a little but not from the cold. It was the feeling of having Harry so close to him.

“I knew you were cold but you’re trying to be a tough guy,” Harry said as he felt Niall shiver. “Let’s go back inside before you get yourself sick and I have take care of you,” he added as he turned to go back inside.

“That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? For you to take care of me,” Niall responded without thinking.

“You’re awful when you’re sick,” Harry said and laughed, “You would complain the whole time.”

“I don’t complain that much,” Niall mumbled, knowing that Harry was right. He was a big baby when he got the slightest bit sick.

Harry laughed and shook his head, “Whatever you say Horan.”

Niall couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his lips when Harry called him Horan. It was one of his favorite things.

They went back inside and played Clue a few times before they went to get something to eat and moved on to video games. Niall was having a lot of fun with his friends and decided to forget about everything he’d been worried about with Harry, who hadn’t left Niall’s side almost all night. Someone had turned the ping pong game into a beer pong tournament which meant that Niall’s flat was a mess by the time they were done and everyone had drank their fair share. Niall was great at beer pong and he had learned that Harry was not as great or very good at all. Niall actually drank some for Harry when no one was looking because he wasn’t sure if Harry would even be able to hold himself up if he drank more. After a while, Harry and Niall had purposely moved on to something else as Niall was afraid Harry would be completely drunk if they didn’t. They chose to play some video games for a while and Niall got Harry some coffee to drink. He was a pain about it, telling Niall he didn’t drink just any kind of coffee, he had his specialties and didn’t want to drink anything else. But he wouldn’t be Harry if he did, would he?

Eventually everyone had either left to go home or fallen asleep in one of the spare rooms as they were too drunk to go anywhere. It was well past midnight and Harry and Niall were the only ones left sitting on the couch in the living room. They were both slightly tipsy and maybe that was why they couldn’t seem to quiet their laughter as they reminisced about the fun time they’d had that night and other nights they’d shared together on tour.

Harry was sitting so close to Niall that he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to caress his cheek and run his hands through his hair. Niall wanted Harry in his arms and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired of being subtle about his feelings or because he needed to move on but he decide he was going to do something about it. Niall was going to go for it and he was either going to be really happy or really sad but fuck it he didn’t care anymore. Now when Harry was sitting so close to him, looking at him the way he was. Either way he would know how Harry felt. And that would be better than all of this wondering and all of this wanting that he had. Harry was sitting next to him on the couch, his head resting on the back of it. Niall inhaled slowly and grabbed Harry’s hand, intertwining it with his. Harry moved his head slightly to look over at Niall, slight curiosity was written all over his face.

“Your fingers are so long,” Niall mumbled, looking at their hands.

“Mhmm,” Harry responded softly.

Harry wasn’t even the slightest bit tipsy anymore, his eyes were drooping from sleep not the alcohol he’d had tonight. Harry would surely remember everything tomorrow morning just as Niall would. Good, that’s what Niall wanted. If Harry kissed him back Niall didn’t want to doubt that Harry would blame it on the alcohol. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

Niall kept doubting his own decision.

Maybe he shouldn’t do anything.

But fuck, he needed to know now. Harry was so close to him and Niall knew there was no going back after this.

Niall dropped Harry’s hand on his lap and ran his hand along Harry’s arm and then up to his jaw very slowly, looking directly into Harry’s eyes as he did it.

Harry watched Niall intently, waiting to see what he would do next. The sleep seemed to be gone from Harry’s eyes and they were wider, more alert.

Niall traced along Harry’s jaw with his thumb and he saw Harry start to close his eyes just slightly as a reaction to what Niall was doing.

“Harry,” Niall said firmly.

“Niall,” Harry responded softly.

Niall didn’t move at all and he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing or forgot how to, but he looked at Harry like his life depended on it. And maybe, just maybe, it did.

This was the moment that Niall had been both anticipating and dreading all at the same time.

Niall began to move forward towards Harry. His movements were slow and deliberate to give Harry time to understand what Niall was about to do. To give him a chance to pull away. But Harry didn’t. To Niall’s surprise, he began to see Harry move forward as well. They were barely touching and Niall’s breath was already uneven. He felt like his heart might just beat right out of his chest.

Harry stopped moving as they rested their foreheads against each other. Niall couldn’t get himself to move. They sat there for what felt like years, waiting. What they were waiting for, neither of them knew. They were sharing a moment that felt so intimate that any movement could shatter it in seconds.

And finally, it was Harry that finally broke the silence of it all.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Harry said, his lips barely brushing against Niall’s as he spoke and began to move again. Harry leaned in, closing the small distance between their lips, and softly kissed Niall’s lips for the very first time. His hands were on Niall’s face, holding him in place so tenderly. Niall couldn’t begin to understand that this was happening. Harry’s lips, softer than he imagined, were pressed against his. Niall kissed Harry back once his brain registered what was happening. He softly moved his lips to Harry’s rhythm, which was slow and almost teasing. And before Niall knew it, they were both pulling their lips apart so they could catch their breath. Neither of them spoke for a moment. They just looked at each other as their breathing went back to normal.

Harry rested his head against Niall’s again like that moment before the kiss but it felt different this time. All Niall could think about was the way Harry’s lips felt against his and how he wanted to kiss him again and again.

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” Harry finally said quietly, bringing Niall out of his thoughts.

“And I’ve been waiting for you to do it,” Niall said, surprised. He’d never seen any signs to tell him that maybe Harry felt the same. Niall had always thought that it was one sided. Niall was the one inviting Harry to hang out all the time. He was the one finding any excuse to grab Harry’s hand or arm. He was the one always complimenting Harry’s hair or outfits. “You never...you never gave me a sign that you wanted me to.” Niall added.

“You really think I let anyone hold my hand when we’re watching a movie?” Harry mumbled, pressing one quick, small kiss to Niall’s lips as if he didn’t wanted to forget what it felt like to have his lips against Niall’s.

Niall stared at him for a moment before answering, “No, I guess not.”

Harry laughed softly, “You’re an idiot.”

Niall can’t help but laugh too. Harry always told Niall that his laugh was contagious but really it was Harry’s that was contagious. “You kissed me,” Niall said, filled with an emotion that he could only describe as happy.

“You were going to kiss me, weren’t you?” Harry asked and he sounded unsure. As if there was some reason that Niall would have been that close to him that wasn’t to kiss Harry.

“Of course I was going to Harry. Do you really think I let anyone kiss me like that?” Niall asked, using Harry’s own words against him.

Harry smiled at Niall, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. And in that moment, that was the most beautiful thing Niall could see. He was the reason for Harry’s reaction. He caused it. That made Niall happy. Happier than he’d felt around anyone in a while. Niall wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him close to him. Harry did the same, finding the right spot to make himself comfortable. Harry placed his head on Niall’s chest and closed his eyes and even though Niall couldn’t see it there was a smile on Harry’s face. Niall ran his hands through Harry’s soft curls and couldn’t believe that he was in a place he’d only dreamed of, with Harry in his arms. And Niall knew that he could easily get used to this.

They didn’t talk about what happened or what the kiss had meant or hadn’t meant. Both Harry and Niall simply enjoyed the feeling of being in each other’s arms in that moment, on that night. And that was enough for the both of them.

[juvian]

A turn of events - Chapter 8

Header cr.

Summary : Korimi Lockser always been one of the best students, but one day when her crush decide to come visit his friends more often, including her sister. She decide do to the dumbest thing she’s done in her life… fake being stupid to get is attention.

Disclaimer : Fairy tail belong to Hiro Mashima !

Characters : Korimi Lockser (Oc), Elleira (Oc), Minerva Orlando, Yukino Aguria, Rogue Cheney, Sting Eucliffe, Rufus Lore, Orga Nanagear, Lyon Vastia.

Shipping(s) : Oc X Lyon Vastia.

Genre : High school au, modern au, romance and humour.

Words : 2320

Chapters : Masterlist // Chapter 7 // Chapter 9

Chapter 8 

***Italic = Text***

“So hi Lyon, I was wondering if you could come every day this week to work with me even if 15 minutes and”

Arg… I can’t ask him to come every day! And what can we do in 15 minutes seriously, Korimi you can be stupid sometime!

It’s been half an hour since I tried to text Lyon about our lessons this week. My exam is Friday, so only a week is left for me to make an impression on him with this plan. You are going to tell me « He is Gray’s brother and basically your friend now you can continue without the math». Hahaha I could, but I won’t.  I can’t talk to him without looking stupid while doing math, imagine with no subject of conversation at all? You guys are underestimating me. Time to try texting him again.

“Hi Lyon, I hope you had a great day! Since my exam is Friday, I was wondering how many days we could see each other for our little lesson this week? I don’t want to be a burden, but I need the maximum you can give me. I need to see you at least the day before, if it’s possible. Thank you!” 

Send. I think it’s going to be okay. I hope. 

I spent 30 minutes, on my bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for Lyon to answer my text. When my phone rang, I took it so fast that I didn’t even remember taking it. Only to see that it was not Lyon, but my cousin texting me.

“Your sisters tried luring me with some cake so I visit you next weekend, make sure she does it and it’s not bullshit”

“How many she said she will do?”

“She said 3, I’m counting on you Kori, don’t mess up this mission”

“Alright captain!”

At least it wasn’t Sting, I would have killed him for making me think it was Lyon. I was going to put my phone down on the table again, when I received another text, probably Elleira again. OH! NO! IT’S HIM!

“I don’t think Wednesday will be possible, but I can see you the other days, well tomorrow, I have a night class so I can’t come to your house , but we could go eat together between 4pm and 7pm, what do you think ?”

Is He really asking me that?! If having a date, well not a date but you know, will bother me?! OMG. I think I’ve been squealing and fangirling for 15 minutes before I took the time to answer him, take a big breath Korimi and calm your fucking self a second!

“It doesn’t bother me at all, just tell me where and I’ll be there!”

“No don’t bother, I’ll come to your school and take you there”

Oh god…. I will seriously not concentrate at all at school tomorrow, I’m lucky there’s 2 days of class left and no exam.

***

“Korimi we need to talk! You can’t continue like this anymore!” Minerva said, sitting in front of me in the cafeteria.

“What did I do?” I ask, with big eyes.

“You were still daydreaming about Lyon this morning! Be a real woman and do something, if you can’t even say shit don’t think you’ll ever have a chance!”

“Ouch Minerva that’s brutal.” Orga said,  making  a weird face, laughing.

“Someone has got to help her and if I have to be mean, I will be!”

“And what do you want me to say?”

“Just flirt with him!”

“Excuse me?! Me flirt? I don’t know how to flirt and I don’t want to scare him away!”

“Well tell him you like him!”

“I can’t do that either!”

Minerva sighed and put her face in her hand. I think she is done with me. I’ll have to find someone else to beat up Sting with me.

“Sting, help me.”

“What? Why me?”

“You are the player here and she is your best friend, help her before she dies alone and sad. 

“I am not a player!” Sting said, before looking at me. “So what you should do…”

Oh my god, Sting no.

***

So Minerva and Sting continued all day to give me stupid advice of how to have Lyon in my bed. Yeah, their advice sounded more like having him in my bed, not to make him fall in love with me … All they thought of telling me was to act stupid: Sting, Dress sexy: Both, make him see the asset I actually don’t have: Minerva, to just fucking tell him: Minerva. So I didn’t tell them, I was actually going to see him after class, I couldn’t imagine what could have come out of their mouth, if I would have told them.

At the end of the day, I didn’t leave anyone the time to talk to me, I yelled goodbye and just ran to my locker, before running again, outside. I was lucky, Lyon was already waiting in front of the school.  

“Hi!” I said, entering his car and giving him the most beautiful smile.

“Hello, how are you?” He said, smiling at me then turning back to the road and started to drive.

“Really good, the day was relaxing and now I can spend time with you.”

Wait… Did I really say that? God. That must be because of Minerva.

“Stop you’ll make me blush.” He said, laughing. Well, that was not too embarrassing. “It's true that spending time with me is amazing, like you know how lucky you are right?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, yeah I love him but he is full of himself.

***

He took me to this little café not far from his university, it was cute and the food was really great! And the cakes wow! I have to take Elleira here one day. She’ll hate me if I hide this paradise from her.

“So since we only have 3 days left for you to learn everything, today we are going to concentrate on one thing and tomorrow another one.” He said, looking at his textbook. “I found some exercises for you to do and Thursday we are going to study everything over again.”

Great… I’m lucky I’m good at math…     

“What is it ? You look… depressed.” He said laughing. “Don’t worry it’s gonna be easy.”

“Oh! I know! It’s just... I like our little session, I’ll miss it a bit.” I said, laughing.

“Don’t worry, I like you, you are a good friend.” He said, winking at me. “It was fun and I am not going to stop seeing Juvia and you because you finished high school and you can come see me and Gray too sometimes.”

He said he liked me… He said he liked those sessions too… He said we will see each other again… he said I was his friend… And that wink...I think I can die happy now.

“Yeah I know and thank you for all of this.” I said, smiling.

“No problem! And I’ll make you a deal.” He started and I think I started sweating. “If you have a good grade, I’ll take you somewhere to eat, you deserve it after all those efforts.”

It was nice knowing you all, you can write today’s date as the date of my death, thank you.

“O-oh, you don’t have too! It’s normal I want to finish my high school years with good grades!”

“I insist, some people don’t care and don’t do the effort and you did!”

He is so kind, oh my god. I should have known 3 years ago, what Gray said about his brother was bullshit, now I want to know Ultear, she must not be as crazy as he said.

“Now that I said it, time to work Korimi.”

Oh yeah I forgot it’s not a real date.

***

“So how was your date?” Minerva said sitting again in front of me the next day. 

“What date? I didn’t have a date!” 

Ok now I was scared.

“Don’t think we didn’t think, you ran off so suddenly yesterday, weird. I think it’s actually the most suspect thing you did in your life, Korimi Lockser.”

“Minerva is right, it was extremely weird.” Rufus said, nodding.

“I was just in a hurry, it’s nothing weird, my sister needed me for something.”

“Don’t lie to us! Sting said, pointing a finger in my direction. “Rogue and I called Juvia and she said she didn’t know where you were!”

I looked at my best friend, who actually didn’t want to look at me. Rogue looked mad, it’s true he didn’t say much today, but it’s Rogue, he already doesn’t say much even to me.

“It really wasn’t a date…” I said, guilty. “He didn’t have time to come to my house to work so he asked me if I wanted to work in a café.”

“It sounds like a date.” Minerva said, eyeing me suspiciously. “Wait! What work?”

“It wasn’t, we just worked! And oh….”

Oh fuck, they don’t know about this, I fucked up !

“Korimi Lockser… what the fuck are you doing?”

“I asked Lyon to help me with math.”

“You what?”

“I lied to Lyon that I wasn’t good at math so he could help me get better, it’s been more than 2 week.”

The face of Minerva was the most disappointing face that I ever saw in my life. The others looked so shocked. It didn’t take long for Sting to laugh so loud that the entire school was looking at us.

“Did you know about this shit?” Minerva asked Rogue. 

“Yeah, I do.”

“And you didn’t bother telling her it was the most stupid idea ever?!”

“Don’t worry I did, but she didn't listen.”

“I know it’s stupid, but it’s working! I exclaimed, but their faces didn’t change at all. He doesn’t love me yet, but now I can be proud to say that he considered me a friend at least, it’s just a matter of time.”

“Yeah, if it makes you feel better.” Minerva said, sighing and hit Sting on the shoulder. “Shut your mouth you!” She said as he flinched and turned back to me. “I hope you will tell him this stupid bullshit when everything is finished, you can’t lie until you die.”

“Yeah, yeah I will.”

“And I hope, you are at least trying to flirt with him, not just act stupid.”

***

Now that everyone knows about my little plan, I felt really ashamed of myself. It’s true that it’s not right, I did that because I was scared of telling him how I feel and I'm not even trying to flirt with him even a bit…. Ah… 

The second night that we worked together, I didn’t really talk. I felt weird and he must have thought it was the stress, because of my exam the next day. Today was Thursday and tomorrow would finally be my math exam. Which also means the last day of our little lesson. This time I’ll try to be more talkative and use this occasion for real.

***

“Today we will study everything, I’ll ask you what you should do in diverse questions, how to find the answer to the problem and if you have a hard time I’ll give you an example of what you could do with this kind of questions, is it alright?”

“Yeah, I understand, I’ll do my best.”

This time I didn’t mess up my answers, well a little because it would be a little bit too suspect. He looked so proud of me, I was getting really scared of his reaction when I would tell him, I was lying all this time. After an hour, we decide to take a little break.

“Is university taking all your time, I mean, is it really hard to see your friends?”

“Well for me yes, because it’s a really difficult job that I will do in the future, you can’t messed up anything, so I have to study really hard, but sometime I have to take a break, with the exam coming up for me too,  if I don’t take a break, I’ll just go crazy, but it depends, what do you want to do?

“I want to become a teacher, an English teacher.”

“Ok, well I can assure you it will be a lot less difficult to have a life.” He said, laughing.

“Do you have time to… date?”

He looked at me surprised and blushed. I need to know if he actually wants to date or not!

“It’s hard, but not impossible, if the person knows I can’t always be free I could, but for now nothing big is happening.

Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you all the time you need!

“Okay, I never had a boyfriend so I wanted to know if I’ll be single until I finish university” I said, laughing.

“I can’t believe you never had a boyfriend, someone as pretty and kind as you” He said, smiling and I melted. Oh my god! He is complimenting me. “And intelligent! In less than 3 weeks you progress so much in math!”

Hahaha… yeah…

“Thank you.” I said, furiously blushing.

“I mean you are Juvia's sister after all, it must run in the family.”

I’ll just forget he just said that, I don’t know how to take it.

“I would love to date someone like you.” I said, trying to sound like I was joking, but I couldn’t be more serious.

“Hahaha I don’t think so, you’ll find someone better than me.” He laughed, ruffling my hair.

Well it failed. I'll just stop for today then.

“We should get to the rest, it’s already 8pm.”

“Yeah we should.”

I didn’t have the courage to say anything more to him. I guess, I’ll just wait until I have my result to confess. Because yeah, it’s decided, next time I’ll confess ! I can’t continue like this anymore, Minerva is right.

[everything-is-broken-here]

Honestly, this weekend was a lot for me. Saturday night was a really bad mental health night for me and so I got drunk and high and then my friend stayed at my house for the entire night and talked to me because he knew I was really bad. We ended up only getting an hour and a half of sleep because we talked until 8:30am and cuddled and it helped oddly more than I was expecting. It was hard for me to let someone in and let them see me like that and I was so sure it would scare him away but he has stayed and I’m so grateful for that. Then Sunday wasn’t much better, after having only an hour and a half of sleep, I then had to spend the entire day with my family, who I left and went straight to my best friends house because we had made plans weeks ago to go out drinking that particular night. I didn’t end up getting home until 1:30am and it was an intense night. Two of my friends almost got into a fight and a girl who is friends with the person who had stayed at my house the night before ended up storming off and walking around the city alone at 12am. I managed to drag my friend outside, where he explained that he wanted to hurt my other friend and then started freaking out and started reading me text messages that the girl had been sending him saying “I ruin everything, I don’t deserve good things” stuff along those lines and he was absolutely beside himself with worry. I messaged her several times and tried to call her but she kept blocking my calls. After way too long she finally called my friend but refused to tell him where she went and he was so panicked that he was crouched down in a ball on the floor, pulling his hair out unable to speak, so he passed the phone to me and as soon as I spoke, all I said was “hey, are you okay? where are you, we are going to come and help you.” she hung up the phone and refused to call back. My poor friend, who has feelings for this girl was an absolute mess (which solidified my dislike for this girl, who I have been making an effort with for weeks despite not particularly liking her, purely for the fact that my friend cares about her and I felt like it was only right to try with the person he cares about most). But anyway, after she hung up the phone I told him that I thought I knew where she might be, since it’s the place I would most likely go to if I were alone in the city because I’ve always felt relatively safe the times I’ve been there. My friend was walking so frantically to the place where I thought she would be, I had to take my heels off and I was literally running trying to keep up with him. Meanwhile, he was pulling out his hair in massive chunks and in an attempt to get him to stop, I told him to squeeze my hand as tightly as he could to get his frustration out. He started to and he was squeezing so hard but he stopped himself because ‘he was going to break my hand if he didn’t.’ And then as we were walking he saw a bunch of glass bottles on the street and just started smashing them and kicking them and screaming and it was so intense. Eventually we got to the place and we found her and he told me to wait while he went and spoke to her, so I sat on a bench alone in the middle of the city at 12:30am. Which apparently was the equivilent of having a glowing sign over my head with arrows pointing to me saying ‘come and hit on me and be creepy.’ I was already feeling really vulnerable that night because I forced myself to wear the dress I was assaulted in as a ‘fuck you’ to the guy who assaulted me and because I keep telling myself that the person who did that doesn’t own any part of me, but when I found the dress as I was cleaning my room earlier in the week I couldn’t stop crying for over an hour. And it’s why I had needed my friend so badly the night before because it was the 2 month anniversary of it happening to me and so to say that I was vulnerable was such an understatement. But anyway, I had this creepy guy come up to me and he wouldn’t leave me alone and he kept trying to get me to leave with him, despite telling him no he just stuck around and kept talking to me and whatnot and eventually my friend came back and the guy ran off pretty quickly. After that not much happened, I spoke to the girl for about 20 minutes and then they both left together and I went home. Today I was so exhausted from all of the lack of sleep and how intense last night was that I slept all day and only woke up at 4pm because I had to go and get my stuff from a friends place. I messaged the girl from last night to make sure she was alright, since I’m trying so hard to make an effort with her and I thought it was only the decent thing to do, but she gave me a 2 word response to my literal paragraph asking if she was feeling better and if her hand was okay (since she’d punched a wall and her knuckles bled), so I just left it and didn’t make more of an effort. Then I called my other friend and asked if he was okay, since it was the worst I’d seen him the night before and I hadn’t really had a chance to speak to him properly since everything happened so quickly and I didn’t leave with them. He told me to call him back in over an hour since he was with the girl at the time and so I called him when he got home and we had a deep and meaningful about everything that had happened and how he was feeling and he asked if I was feeling better from Saturday night and we spoke about how I’m going to give up drinking as much because he told me on Saturday night that he was worried and thought I should stop drinking so much, but since I’m so stubborn and ‘don’t want anyone to own me’ I refused and told him I was going to keep drinking and going out. But after last night I realise how much I need a break from all of that stuff. It was a very explosive weekend and a lot of stuff happened. I was really concerned for my friend and my concern led me to a brief moment of ‘I need to distance myself from this person’ because it kind of scared me how willing I was to let him hurt me in order to stop him from hurting himself and how I blindly followed him into the city at a ridiculously late time and then sat alone on a bench in the dark, like that was a really dangerous situation. And the fact that seeing him in such a bad headspace made me shake uncontrollably was scary too. I care very deeply for him and I would more or less die for him despite having only known him for a few months. But then I realised that the only reason I was so upset was because I was just being a caring friend and that I was trying to sabotage a good friendship because of a small reason. I am grateful though that he cared enough to stay with me the other night and to ask me again today how I was feeling, and to me friends should go through everything together, so I am always happy to be there for him too when he needs it. I stand by not going out anymore though, I need more time to myself and I need to get in a better headspace without the assistance of alcohol 

[all-the-love-harold]

Chapter 8 - Double Trouble?

Master Post 

Chapter 7 

Previously:

 Three minutes was a long time. Harry and Poppy stood together in their tiny bathroom that sat next to the garage, staring intently at the pregnancy test that sat on the sink, hoping for even the slightest sign of confirmation. 

“Put a song on,” Poppy said without taking her eyes away from the test.

“What?” Harry asked, looking down at her, a confused expression glued to his face 

She hit him gently on the chest,“Distract me, put a song on, any song, just distract me!”

“Oh”, he nodded in understanding, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

 “Tastes like strawberries….”  The lyrics to one of Harry’s songs echoed out of his phone.

 Poppy finally took her eyes of the test, “really, Harry?” 

He let out a cheeky giggle, “What? Is this not how we found ourselves in this predicament?”  

“You know it would have been the night we found out Emily was pregnant right?” Poppy said, matter-of-factly .

“I’m okay with that,” Harry nodded. “We had a lot of fun that night.

Poppy sighed, “Why are we talking about this as if it’s real” 

“Because it is” Harry pointed at the test which now read ‘Pregnant 3+’ and kissed her on the forehead. 

 “Holy fuck! Poppy breathed in disbelief, ”What if this is the one H? What if this is our baby?” All Harry could do was sniffle in reply, the tears coming thick and fast. Tears of hope. Tears of shock. Tears for Violet and all the little ones they’d never got to hold.

 “Looks like we’ll be having a busy few months then,” he finally said, wiping his eyes.

 “Busy life H, it doesn’t stop once they’re not babies anymore.” 

“Speaking of,” he sighed heavily “How the fuck are we going to explain this to Oli?” 

“OK, one thing at a time, Oli doesn’t even know about Baby #1 yet, so we’ll figure that out but I think the first person we need to tell is Emily.”

  “You’re right, should we call her?” Harry asked. 

“I feel like this is the kind of conversation we should have in person, and she’s in class at the moment anyway,” Poppy sighed, running a hand through her hair, a nervous habit she’d picked up from Harry.

“Maybe a text then?” Harry suggested 

“And say what?” Poppy asked sarcastically, “We need to talk? We’re not breaking up with her! Would it be creepy if we picked her up from class or met her on campus? Or should I take another test first, wait a few days?” Poppy’s mind began to race in a million directions at once and she could feel her breathing getting shallow and fast. 

 “Hey, hey,  hey” Harry cooed, wrapping his arms around her, “We’ll work this all out Pop, whatever it takes. It will be OK, this is good news, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Poppy nodded against his chest, feeling her heart rate slow at the sound of his. “Just makes everything so complicated.” 

“When has it ever not been complicated?” Harry asked, rubbing her back gently 

She pulled away and stared at the pregnancy test again, “That’s true,”  she sighed.

 Harry placed a kiss on her forehead, “first thing’s first, I’m going to make us an appointment with Dr Marshall, we don’t have to tell anyone until we know more.”

Poppy nodded, “OK, yeah” she sighed, “Yeah, good idea.”

 The tiny bathroom was starting to feel cramped, so before Harry pulled his phone out of his pocket, he turned to leave the room, followed closely by Poppy.  The phone rang for what felt like a long time and when someone finally picked up,Harry was a little surprised, half expecting it to ring out. 

“Hi,” he cleared his throat, “My wife just found out she’s pregnant and I wanted to book an appointment with Dr Marshall.”

“OK,” Poppy heard through the phone “Has the pregnancy been confirmed by a GP?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “We’ve had a few complicated pregnancies, Dr Marshall has asked to see us when we fall.” 

“What’s your surname?” the girl on the phone said abruptly.

“Styles.” 

“And your wife's name?” 

“Poppy.” 

“OK, there’s a note in the system saying you don’t need a referral, how soon did you want the appointment?”

“As soon as possible,” Harry nodded 

“There’s one appointment today, we’ve had a cancellation, at 4pm. Would that work?”

Harry made eye contact with Poppy, using a thumbs up, thumbs down motion to see if that was OK. She nodded and returned his thumbs up . 

“That’s perfect, thank you”, he said into the phone before he hung up. “Do you know what Gemma’s up to today?” Poppy asked, since 4:00 was when they usually picked Oli up from daycare.

“She’s at a thing, we can pick Oli up early and take him with us, it might make it easier to explain it to him.”

 “Harry we could still lose this baby. I don’t know that telling Oli this early is a good idea..”

“You’re right, will we just get him after then? They’re open until 6 aren’t they?” Poppy nodded. “Maybe we could take him out for dinner and tell him about Em.”

 *** 

 Dr Marshall’s waiting room felt like a second home to Poppy and Harry. They’d been here a lot in the last few months, and it felt strange to them both to be back here so soon. She didn’t know why, but Poppy had a good feeling about this pregnancy, nothing was different, there was no reason that she should be feeling like this and she almost felt guilty about it, but there was something in her gut telling her this was good

. 

For Harry, the whole thing felt surreal, just this morning they’d been sitting with Emily having her first ultrasound, and now here they are, in a different doctor’s office, waiting to find out if they really are pregnant again. 

They were called in before they really had the chance to dwell on the complexity of the situation. 

 “So we’ve taken a test and it’s come back positive?” Dr Marshall said once they were seated in her office with the door closed. 

 Poppy nodded, “I think I’m further along than the last few times, we weren’t exactly trying and it took me two weeks to realise I hadn’t had a period.

Dr Marshall let out a small giggle, “So when was your last period?”

“It started on January 23rd, I think...” 

The doctor counted on her fingers, “That’s eight weeks, we could probably do a scan today if that’s the case then.” 

“That would be amazing” Harry said 

“When did you take the test?” 

“This morning.” 

Dr Marshall nodded “And there’s been no symptoms? Morning sickness?

Poppy shook her head, “I’ve probably been more tired than normal but other than that,not really...” 

“OK,  well that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, some pregnancies are horrible, others are smooth sailing.”

“That’s good to know”, Harry chimed in, a silent prayer going through every cell of his body that they’d get good news.

 “So let’s do a blood test today, check your HGH levels are where they should be and if the machine isn’t in use we’ll do a scan too, give you some more peace of mind”. Dr Marshall stood up and left the room to find her things. 

 Harry rested his hand on Poppy’s thigh, “eight weeks,” he sighed, “That’s not far from the end of the first trimester!”

“I don’t know how it took me this long to notice,” Poppy shrugged.

“Maybe it’s for the best, less stress and all that”, he said simply.  

“After everything H, this one might be the fluke we’ve been waiting for...” 

 “I hope so,” he kissed her forehead softly. “Don’t know if I’m ready to have two newborns though” 

“You’ve got seven months to get ready Styles,” Poppy giggled. 

The doctor walked back into the room and they returned to silence, waiting to hear what she would say next. 

“We can do a scan in about five minutes” she smiled “in the meantime, let’s take some blood”

This was the worst part. Poppy hated needles, and the sight of blood. Harry grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it tight, a sign of reassurance. To avoid fainting, Poppy buried her head in Harry’s shoulder while the doctor took her blood and when it was over, she sat up looking very pale. 

“All done Pop” Dr marshall smiled, “Are you ready to see your baby?” 

They both nodded. Poppy didn’t feel how she did this morning before Emily’s scan, the sense of dread was back and she could almost feel her heart in her throat. The good feeling had passed and all she could think about now was violet. How not too long ago they’d been here in this room about to meet violet for the first time, only to lose her twelve weeks later. And there was the other five babies, two of which didn’t even make it this far, all of whom never got a name, but had a place just as big in both Poppy and Harry’s hearts. Numbing herself to feeling, Poppy climbed onto the bed and lifted her shirt to expose her belly, which she noticed now had a tiny swell to it. The doctor remained silent while she used the probe to locate the baby, with the shape of Poppy’s uterus being so abnormal, it often took doctors a while to find the baby at first, given that it could be on either the right or the left side. 

“There they are” Dr Marshall finally said “implanted on the right side this time, which from memory is where your little boy was” 

“That’s good then?” Harry questioned, squeezing Poppy’s hand 

“It’s hard to tell exactly this early on, but it looks like this one will have plenty of room to grow” 

“What about the heartbeat?” Poppy asked “I can’t hear it”

“Oh” dr marsh said “That’s because the sound is off” she fiddled around with a few buttons and eventually they heard the sound a tiny beating heart. 

A wide smile stretched across Harry’s face as the sound entered his ears. It was a melody that brought him both hope and dread. 

“That’s your little one, and just quietly,...” the doctor smiled “I think we might get to meet this one” 

Without being too hopeful, a sense of relief rushed over Poppy, maybe this time, everything will be alright. 

*** 

“Sorry Mummy and Daddy are late buddy,'' Harry said as he strapped Oli into his car seat. “But we’re going to take you out for dinner AND you get to choose where we go!” 

“PIZZA!!!” Oli shouted 

“I should have guessed,” Harry laughed. “Buckled up?”

“Buckled up,” Oli smiled back at his dad.

 “Did you have a good day at nursery Ol?” Poppy asked as Harry pulled the car out of the car park.

“I got to play superheroes Mum and and and Tommy was Spiderman and I was Batman. It was so cool!” 

“That sounds like the best day ever” Poppy said, overenthusiastically. She didn’t realise how nervous she was to tell Oli about the baby she also realised she didn’t know what to say. How do you explain surrogacy to a 3 year old? Logically, you tell them that Mummy’s body can’t make babies, but that wasn’t entirely true, because in a few weeks they might have to explain to Oli that Poppy is pregnant, and that’s a lot for a three year old to process. 

 The pizza restaurant that Oli loved was only around the corner from the daycare and their house and before Poppy really had a chance to think about what she was going to say to Oli, Harry parked the car and they were seated at their usual table, in the back corner, where, with any luck, no one would spot Harry.

“Oli” Harry said once they had ordered “Mummy and Daddy have some very exciting news to tell you”

Poppy’s stomach dropped, at this rate, she wouldn’t be eating any pizza, she was too nervous about how Oli would react. 

Oli simply nodded, looking at Harry curiously.

“Do you remember a few weeks ago when you got to go to the Zoo with Aunty Gemma and Aunty Addie” 

“Yeah” Oli nodded “I saw a giraffe” 

“You did” Harry laughed “and while you were there, Mummy and Daddy found out that we’re going to have a baby” 

Oli’s face lit up “is there a baby in mummy’s tummy?!” 

Harry turned to Poppy for assistance, he couldn’t exactly say no to that. 

“Well sometimes Ol, mummies can’t always have babies the normal way so a very very kind lady named Emily is going to help us. The baby is made of Mummy and Daddy, just like you’re made of Mummy and your dad, but this little baby has to grow in Emily’s tummy until it’s time for us to meet them” 

“Why can’t the baby be in Mummy’s tummy?” Oli asked quizzically

“Because Mummy’s tummy doesn’t always work like it’s supposed to” Harry added, grabbing onto Poppy’s knee as he spoke. 

Oli didn’t say anything for a second, taking in what he’d just been told. 

“Is Emily’s tummy a nice home for the baby?”

“The nicest” Harry smiled, heart swelling with pride for a son that thought about others before himself. 

“Am I going to be a brother or a sister?” he asked 

Harry and Poppy couldn’t help but giggle “You’re going to be a brother, because you’re a boy Ol, but we don’t know yet if the baby will be your brother or your sister” 

“I think I’d like a sister” he nodded “But I like brothers too” 

  *** 

March 27th 2021, 1pm 

 Addie felt a little strange about taking an afternoon off from her Nannying job, but when Poppy had called her this morning there was a sense of urgency in her voice.  They’d chosen a quiet cafe to sit in and when they sat down, Addie felt like she was about to get bad news, like Poppy was about to tell her something she didn’t want to hear. 

“What’s going on Pop” Addie asked, almost as soon as she sat down “is everything ok?”

“Everything’s Great Addie” Poppy took a sip of her coffee, calmly, as if she didn’t have a care in the world 

“Are you sure? Because on the phone this morning it sounded like somebody had died” 

“No,” Poppy giggled “Quite the opposite actually” 

Addie furrowed her brow “What do you mean?” 

“Harry and I are having a Baby” 

“You’re pregnant?” Addie exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement and maybe a little bit of dread

Poppy didn’t want to say no, but she wasn’t ready to tell Addie about that yet “We’ve got a surrogate” 

“Oh wow” Addie said, “I had no idea you were struggling that much” 

Poppy nodded somberly, “after Violet we had to start thinking of our other options, we didn’t want to have to experience that again… ever”

Addie nodded sympathetically, not really sure what to say. Surrogacy felt like one of those things that you only ever heard about, it wasn’t something she ever thought she’d know anyone who needed it. 

 “So have you found a surrogate yet?” she asked 

“Yeah, she’s 12 weeks along, baby’s healthy and growing well, strong heartbeat” Poppy pulled image from the scan out and put it on the table for Addie to see 

Addie reached out and grabbed it, a tear building up in her eye “This is such great news Pop, I’m so excited to meet them” 

“Me too” Poppy laughed 

“And I’d love to meet the surrogate too” 

“Oh she ‘s great” Poppy added “I think you’ll really get along with her” 

“It’s such a massive thing she’s doing for you, so I hope she’s great or getting paid a lot” 

“We’re not allowed to pay her in the UK, we pay all the medical bills that aren’t covered by the NHS, and any travel expenses, but other than that, it’s all out of the goodness of her own heart” 

“That’s massive” Addie sighed “wow… shit Pop this is the best news, I’m so happy for you!” 

“There’s even better news” 

“Is that possible?” Addie said, taking a sip of her coffee and a deep breathe

“I’m pregnant too” 

“WHAT?!” she almost spat out her drink 

“8 weeks, baby’s in a good spot, strong heartbeat, the doctors are as confident as they can be at this stage”

“So you’re going to have two babies, four weeks apart?” 

“Potentially, yeah” 

“I’ll be your Nanny” Addie shrugged, thinking about the looming end of her current contract and lack of motivation to go out looking for another family to work for. 

“We’re going to need you” Poppy laughed nervously “you can have your room back” 

“And Harry’s not going on tour anytime soon, I hope” 

“If he even thinks about it, he might be divorced” 

“He wouldn’t be, you’d just take the babies with you around the world” 

Poppy giggled “That’s how Oli spent the first year of his life” 

“And he turned out ok” Addie said 

“Don’t know that I could do it with three kids, one was easy” Poppy laughed “Oli got cuddled by the whole crew and I got a break when I needed it, three kids would be too many to take around the world” 

“That’s what I’m for” she flicked her hair behind her shoulders.

 Poppy felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she didn’t think that conversation was going to go as smoothly as it did. She hadn’t even been that ok with the idea of surrogacy, but Addie’s support meant the world to her and with that she could do anything. The next step was to tell Anne and then Emily and at some point, they’d tell her mother.