Tumgik
#today has been relatively productive
lemonhemlock · 1 year
Text
tried watching the new queen charlotte series but was immediately put off by the ridiculous anti-corset propaganda, so get ready for another rant.
first of all, this is the georgian era so what she's wearing are called /stays/ - corsets are a victorian invention. why do we still not know this in 2023 when period productions have remained consistently popular throughout the years? the concept of tighlacing (the goal being a reduction of the waist) is also victorian and was not the norm at all and v much an extreme practice. this understanding of history is so superficial, it's as if an alien were to open up People magazine and conclude that all human women resort to butt injections and lip fillers to stay with the fashion of the times. also, no, you cannot tighlace in stays to obtain a waist reduction because they are shaped like a funnel (picture 1 = long stays, 2 = short regency stays, 3 = corset)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
charlotte goes on to complain about how dangerous whalebone is and that it might kill her if she makes the wrong move. what the actual fuck? whalebone was actually the very best material to use for this because it was sturdy yet flexible and allowed the /stays/ to completely and comfortably mold around a woman's unique body shape. one of the reasons why today it is v difficult to replicate the same effect in corsetry is because we do not have access to whalebone (killing whales is not cool for obvious reasons) so corset-makers have to resort to other materials like plastic or metal, which CAN break. whereas whalebone doesn't really break as easily. furthermore, stays/corsets were NEVER worn on bare skin, but with a chemise/shift underneath.
why did women in the past resort to this type of undergarment, you ask? well, apart from the fact that women need bust support, the stays also serve the purpose of allowing all the many skirts and petticoats to be placed comfortably onto the waist. you try piling on that much fabric around your bare waist and see how you like it and if you can even carry it all around without it cutting into your stomach.
clothes throughout human history did cater to the popular fashions of the time, yes, but they also reflected the technological limitations and there was thus a practical aspect to it. this is a time before elastic bands, before industrialization and fast fashion, clothes are v difficult to make, everything is done by hand, so a lot of care is put into preserving them, because they are /expensive/ and labour intensive. you don't want your fancy outergarments to get ruined so you wear a lot of undergarments to absorb your bodily fluids since those are easier to make and don't have to look "pretty", can be stained and patchy etc. again, why do you need so many layers in the first place? because this is a time before comfortable heating, with poorly isolated and drafty houses, and it's bloody cold otherwise.
the third reason why that monologue was so dumb is because CHARLOTTE is the reason regency court dress was so preposterous. long story short, in a few decades, the fashionable silhouette changes wildly from the late 1700s to the 1810s.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the regency waistline was much higher and the gowns were much more flowy and unstructured than the late georgian ones (what's commonly known as the empire waistline). the long stays of the late 1700s were now replaced with short stays that really were similar to modern bras. the scene in the first season of bridgerton where they squeeze penelope's sister into what looks like a pair of long stays (?) is bonkers bc no one would wear a waist-constricting boned undergarment under a regency dress. why would they? the natural waist is not even emphasized in any way. this is just another reason to peddle the women-were-oppressed-by-their-lingerie agenda. so if charlotte really hated long stays that much, regency would really have been her time to shine, right? wrong. the woman loved the fashions of her youth so much she forced everyone who came to court to still comply to them, which is why we get the absolutely atrocious regency court dresses - essentially a combination of the georgian style with side panniers, but with an empire waistline.
Tumblr media
yeah, this is how daphne SHOULD have looked like when she was presented at court in front of charlotte. i can understand why the showrunners decided to just leave her in a regency silhouette because this is ugly af. but, anyway, queen charlotte is the last person on earth to be complaining about how uncomfortable stays are.
creative licence aside, the reason this pisses me off is because it is SUCH lazy storytelling. the show wants us to know charlotte is a spunky pseudo-feminist character so the easiest way to do that is to have her complain about the evil 'corset' trying to kill her. it is so profoundly ahistorical and does nothing to contribute to the conversation about women's true problems and true limitations during that time. instead of genuinely exploring social history and women's actual lived experiences, we are STILL, in the year of our lord 2023, diverting the discourse towards fabricated issues that never existed in the first place.
the reasons actresses complain about boned underwear in interviews are manifold. costume designers are very overworked, they have to produce clothes for hundreds of people in a very short time, so they simply do not have the time or resources to construct corsets/stays that fit the actresses like they are supposed to. in the past, these garments were made individually for every person and completely to their own requirements. they also make these actresses wear the boning on BARE skin to look extra sexy to the audience or to emphasize their oppression - that never happened, a shift was always worn underneath (hello dakota fanning scene in the alienist??).
moreover, they lace them up until they constrict their ribcages - these women are already super thin and their bodies cannot support more reduction - instead of relying on the historical practices of padding and illusion. nowadays, body parts are what's fashionable - that's why so many resort to fat transfers or breast implants or starving themselves to achieve a flat stomach. in the past, anyone of any size could have accomplished the fashionable silhouette because they had a wide array of accouterments to plop underneath their garments - panniers, bustles, hoop skirts, padding of any sort. it didn't matter how big your waist was, you just padded other areas until you achieved the desired shape. fat women wore corsets/stays, too. working women, who did a lot of physical labour, did the same. how were they able to perform all of their tasks if they were incapable of moving or breathing? even today, people wear medical corsets all the time.
TLDR the media's obsession with portraying modern women as so liberated because they wear bras instead of "patriarchal" underwear is so tedious.
EDIT: Some very basic chronological tadpoles to make this easier to place within historical context. "Georgian" is used to denote the 18th+ century when Great Britain was ruled by several kings named George, so roughly 1714-1830. Within this interval, we refer to the Regency period as encompassing the regency of Prince George, future King George IV, when his father George III was incapacitated by mental illness. The official political regency took place during 1811-1820, but culturally speaking, this was extended to roughly the end of the 18th century up to maybe 1830 or 1837. This is the time period of Napoleonic wars and Jane Austen novels, so all her heroines should normally wear Regency styles. Think "empire waistline" as in Imperial France and Napoleon. The Victorian era (and its corsets) follows throughout the rest of the 19th century. Queen Charlotte was a contemporary of Marie Antoinette's, so they should be dressed in similar fashions (robe à la française vs robe à la anglais).
547 notes · View notes
bilal-salah0 · 16 days
Text
The story of Ahmed Al-Saidi
My name is Ahmed AlSaidi, I currently live in Gaza Strip under this horrifying war with my wife, 3 children, my elderly parents and my brothers Osama, Moatasim, and Mohammed with their families.
We once lived in safety and peace, each having their own home which provided us with happiness, warmth, and love. I was working as a dental technician and supporting my family.
But after the war started on the 7th of October, we were under bombing, dead bodies were every where, so we were forced to leave our house a night before it was under bombing, it was a miracle that we remained alive. We were forced to be displaced many times and now we live in tents in Deir al-Balah. Our conditions now are miserable and unhuman without any income and thus we are unable to provide life essentials to our families such as medicine, clothing, cleaning products and food for our children. Every thing becomes more expensive. The lack of hygiene, water and living in tents with sand and insects caused a lot of diseases, like skin rash, hepatitis b, fever, and cold.
This horrific war destroyed our lives, taking away our homes, jobs, safety, and tragically claiming many of our relatives. So we created this campaign to:
1_Provide medical care for my eldery parents who are suffering from many chronic diseases, high blood pressure, and heart problems.
2. Provide urgent health treatment to Qusay, a 4 years old child who has speech problem and need psychological and speech therapy.
3. Provide essential living needs to survive, like food, clothes, water to drink, and medicine.
4. Winter is coming and we urgently need to move from the tents and rent a house to protect our children from cold.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
£127 raised of £30,000 goal 
@supportmyfamily1
The campaign has been verified by me.
Sorry if I bothered you in the mention
@mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others
@7bitter @tortiefrancis
@toiletpotato @fromjannah @vague-humanoid @criptochecca
@aristotels @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @nibeul
@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat
@watermotif@stuckinapril@mavigator @lacecap @yugiohz
@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq
@northgazaupdates2
@vakarians-babe @wayneradiotv
@psychotic-gerard @mavigator @communistkenobi @socalgal @chilewithcarnage
@ghelgheli @determinate-negation @papasmoke @omegaversereloaded
@xinakwans @givemearmstopraywith @loombreaking
@killy @deathlonging
@palms-upturned @blackpearlblast @littlegermanboy @loveaankilaq @sar-soor
@fridgebride @27-moons @tamarrud @familyabolisher @fleshdyk3
@neptunerings @claudiasescapesubmarine @northgazaupdates2 @gaza-evacuation-funds @rhubarbspring @flower-tea-fairies @postanagramgenerator@chronicschmonic
@blackgoliath @sharingresourcestorpalestine @60309 @malcriada @jeziorO @retvolution @raydiantgarden @emathyst9 @mothblossoms @pile-of-anxiety @brutaliakhoa @alm3v@magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @schoolhater @lesbiandardevil @devilofthepit @lizlives @transmutationisms @kit-today @appsa @hametsukaishi @vetted-gaza-funds @gazagmboost @heritageposts @timetravellingkitty @a-shade-of-blue @lovewontfindherwayhome @ohwarnette @nightowlssleep
@pretendingtobeaperson @laurapalmerss @im-living-under-your-basement @komsomolka @dvanaestmrva @lonniemachin @heliopixels @zigcarnivorous @turtletoria @opencommunion @wellwaterhysteria @queerstudiesnatural @grapejuicedragoon
649 notes · View notes
kookslastbutton · 2 months
Text
Guilty Pleasures ༓ jjk, kth (m) | chapter v
Tumblr media
✑ Summary: Three years of being Seoul's power couple earns you nothing but a big fat divorce settlement and your face plaster on every gossip column around town. You're angry, hurt, and desperately want to move on, but worst of all? You're still in love with the man who started the whole mess, even though the most he can ever see you as is a friend. The renowned actor you've hired to be your company's new endorser seems to have a soft spot for you though. He's easy on the eyes, you'll admit, but who actually wants a divorcee like yourself? It's unrealistic really.
Tumblr media
pairing: ex-husband ceo!jungkook x ceo!reader, actor!taehyung x ceo!reader
genre/AU: angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto ?, coworkers2?, unrequited love
Word count: 14k+
Warnings: oc and jk are both 30, Taehyung is 32, swearing, tornado of emotions, morally grey characters, mentions of toxic relationships, mentions of broken home/families, mean relatives, mentions of therapy, struggles of self-blame, regret, guilt, denial, self-deprecating in some areas etc., mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sexism in the media and business world, there is one scene depicting some physical violence (tame) , finally some fluff!, and I won't spoil any more
playlist: Unkiss Me, Apologize, Hate That I Love You, etc.
a/n: OMG....ignore the fact that this is releasing a month after ch. 4. 🫠 i'm sorry. On the bright side, I'm VERY excited to share this with you AND this actually isn’t the last chapter. There’s one more after! I hope you enjoy 🥰 ALSO, this is GP!Taehyung in this chapter (....😮‍💨)
<< prev. | series masterlist
Tumblr media
"This can't be right," you mutter to yourself for the umpteenth time, eyes heavily fixated on your laptop screen. You've been scrolling through the latest press releases all morning, a cup of tea growing cold beside you.
Ever since Jimin’s text last week, rumors about your ex-husband stepping down from his position at JeonX practically spread like wildfire, with nearly every journalist adding their individual spin on the matter—some suggest personal issues, while others hint at possible disagreements within the company.
Despite the influx of information, however, it all remains too vague and inconclusive. An official statement from the company directly would help clear up speculations, but it’s been crickets. Their silence only makes you consider the validity of the rumors even more.
Why would they make such a critical leadership change right after their newest product launch though?
This question, among others, continuously swirl in the back of your mind and you find the entire predicament ironic. You used to be one of the first to know the ins and outs of the company, easily able to distinguish the truth. Now, you're left in the dark like everyone else, dependent on the media for answers.
Before your eyes have time to skim the next group of articles on your screen, your phone rings.
It's Taehyung.
“Hey,” you answer casually, momentarily forgetting the significance of the call.
“Morning!” His voice is gravelly yet carries a cheerful tone. He seems quite upbeat for a foggy Saturday at 8 a.m. “Are you still okay to carpool to my parents' place today? Tan and I are on our way over.”
Dammit. Of course, this isn’t just any old Saturday—it’s the day of Taehyung’s family gathering. It had slipped your mind that you asked to ride together a few days prior. Given that it would be a five-hour long commute, driving separately seemed less convenient and enjoyable. Besides, you’d miss out on having Tan on your lap, his head poking out of the passenger-side window.
“Yeah, I’m good to go,” you reply, trying to sound more confident than you feel. “I’ll be ready when you get here.”
“Great! See you soon.” Taehyung hangs up, and you put your phone down with a deep breath.
To be blunt, you're still extremely nervous about the affair. Surely his family knows who you are and has seen their fair share of articles about you. So how will they react when you show up next to Taehyung at their family function? He says they’ll like you, but it's hard to accept.
Nonetheless, you know how important this family gathering is to him and how much he wants you to be there. Not only is it a family event, but it’s also a celebration of his recovery from a motorcycle accident that could’ve been much worse.
As you pour your cold cup of tea down the sink, you try to push away the unsettling mix of thoughts, focusing instead on the next task at hand— how you should dress. Prior conversations with Taehyung advise you that something polished would be ideal for the occasion, as his family appreciates a touch of elegance, yet your mind blanks on a tangible option. Surely, there’s something in the back of your closet that would do the trick. Right?
Well…you’re right-ish.
Upon searching through rows of hangers, arms growing tired, you finally find a somewhat suitable sundress. You’re hoping it won’t look too casual, but you don’t seem to have a better alternative with your closet currently overtaken by work clothes.
Wasting no further time, you quickly slip the dress over your head and observe how it fits in the mirror. Not bad, you think, before deciding on a few complimentary jewelry pieces. The saving grace of this choice of clothing is that it can easily be dolled up, which is exactly what’s needed today.
Soon, you hear the muffling of an engine and when you peek through your bedroom window, you’re unsurprised to see Taehyung’s car pull into the driveway with a very excited Tan poking his head out from the backseat. A small smile forms on your lips at the sight.
Sparing one final look in the mirror, you slide into your shoes, toss your bag over a shoulder, and head outside to meet them.
“Hey!” Per usual, you're met with a warm smile as you hop into Taehyung's car but before you can return the greeting, Tan bounds onto your lap, tail wagging eagerly. “God, I’m so sorry about him,” Taehyung reaches for his dog, but you quickly reassure him it’s alright.
“I’m happy to see you too, Tan,” you laugh, petting him affectionately. Your focus then shifts over to Taehyung, "Thanks for coming to get me."
“Of course,” he replies, smile widening as he watches Tan settle into your lap. “I’m really glad you’re coming with me," he continues, pulling away from the curb. "My parents are looking forward to meeting you.”
You nod, trying to calm your fluttering nerves. “I’m looking forward to meeting them too.” This time, when you glance his way, you take in his attire—a crisp white button-up shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows, and black dress pants. It’s a classic look, yet it seems oddly refreshing on him. It's not like you expected Taehyung to look bad or anything; far from it, but did he always have to look this good? A queasy feeling soon settles in the pit of your stomach...maybe you should have worn something else.
Before you're able to fully turn away from him, Taehyung speaks up. “You look really nice today,” he says softly, eyes lingering over your face and down your body before shyly refocusing on the road. “That dress is beautiful on you—it really suits you.”
“Oh, thank you,” you reply with a shy smile of your own, unexpectant of his comment. “You don’t look half bad yourself.”
Something about the subtle exchange of compliments stirs a bundle of nerves in both of you and even with averted eyes, neither of you finds it entirely unpleasant.
The rest of the drive is long, but luckily, soon fills with lighthearted conversation and laughter. It's become easier and easier to be around Taehyung, you think.
Tumblr media
After more than a few bathroom breaks—mostly due to Tan’s persistent whining—you finally catch sight of Taehyung’s parent’s house.
It’s even more picturesque than you imagined, with its charming architecture and well-tended garden. In the distance, the ocean glimmers, tying the scene perfectly together.
“I meant to mention earlier, but my parents have an oceanfront view,” Taehyung says casually, pulling up to the house. “We can go down there later if you’d like. It’s private access.”
“Really?” You glance over at him with anticipation, your excitement clear. You can already taste the saltiness of the water. “If it’s really okay, I’d love that.”
“It’s more than okay,” he assures with a smile. “In fact, it’s a done deal. The best time to go is in the evening. We can even use the excuse that we need to take Tan for a little stroll if necessary. Family bonding can get a bit overwhelming without a few breaks.” He lets out a chuckle but stops when he notices your slightly demure expression.
“Hey,” he turns to you with gentle eyes. “Everything okay?”
You blink, momentarily pulled from your thoughts. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking it’s been a while since I’ve gone to any kind of family affair. They know I’m coming, right?”
Understanding your apprehension, Taehyung shifts the gear into park and places a light hand on your arm. “Absolutely, and please believe me when I say they’re more than ready and excited to meet you. They’ve asked about you so many times—I’m pretty sure I’ve lost count. I’m really happy you’re here with me too, so I hope you don’t feel like you’re intruding because I promise you’re not at all. And if at any point you need a moment to yourself, take it. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, and I’m confident my family will want the same.”
With his hand on your arm, you find yourself wrapping yourself in the comfort of the gesture, nerves slowly easing in the process. “Thanks, Tae,” you reply, feeling a tad lighter than before.
“Are you ready?”
You nod, signaling him to remove his hand to take the key out of the ignition. As his hand leaves your arm however, you feel a subtle, unexpected shift—wishing the warmth of his touch could linger just a moment longer.
But hold up.
Since when did he affect you like this?
Dwelling on it further proves to be futile because before you can blink, the house’s front door swings wide open, revealing an older, petite woman with a kind and inviting smile. You both step out of the car immediately, Tan happily trotting around the yard confidently.
The woman pulls Taehyung into a big hug once close enough, and it’s all the evidence you need to deduce that she must be his mother.
“We were wondering where you were!” she starts. “Everyone’s here except you.” It’s a light scold, not that Taehyung minds from the giant grin spreading across his face.
“Forgive me, Mom. I guess we’re fashionably late,” he replies.
Mrs. Kim looks up and down her son with adoration, hands still gripping his arms. “Look at you,” she coos, as if proud. “My son is so handsome. I’m so happy to see you here, healthy and well.”
“Mom, this is __.”
Her eyes then shift to you, standing somewhat awkwardly beside them. If possible, her warm expression brightens even more, taking you by surprise.
“My goodness, I’m being so rude," she says, stepping toward you. "It’s wonderful to finally meet you, honey. Are you okay with hugs?”
“Sure.” You offer a sincere smile and embrace her. When you do, you feel a sense of peacefulness that you hadn’t ever before, soothing any lingering tension. You can’t help but assume that many of Taehyung’s qualities must come from her.
“I’m so pleased that my son brought you today,” she says, pulling back from the hug. She takes in your clothing as well. “You're absolutely lovely, my dear. Doesn't this color work wonderfully on her?” She glances at Taehyung, who merely nods in agreement.
“You’re the one who looks beautiful, Mrs. Kim,” you return the compliment, feeling a tad embarrassed by all the praise. “I love your earrings by the way. Are they jade?”
She nods, pleasantly. “Thank you for noticing. They’re indeed jade. My husband gifted them to me for our anniversary last year. I told him he didn’t need to get me anything, but that man is so persistent. Speaking of which, you should come inside and meet him.” She turns around at once and ushers you and Taehyung into the house. He allows you to go first.
As you follow Mrs. Kim up the steps, Tan bounds ahead excitedly. The aroma of delicious food fills the air the further you walk, and soon you’re greeted by a cozy, homey atmosphere.
Finally, you find Taehyung’s father in the kitchen, washing his hands at the sink. “Honey, Taehyung’s here and he brought __ with him.” Upon hearing your name, the man quickly dries his hands on a towel and extends a friendly hand your way, eyes twinkling.
“Hello, __! I’m glad you could come today. We’ve heard so much about you.”
“Likewise,” you reply, “Thank you for welcoming me into your home. It’s gorgeous in here.”
“Well, we have our son to thank.” He directs his attention to Taehyung, reaching out and patting his son on the back with a proud smile. “He bought this house for us after all. He’s a good son.”
What?
You glance at Taehyung in surprise, intrigued to learn more about this new bit of information. However, seemingly flustered by the comment, you decide it’s better to save it for another time. His mother is quick to step in.
“Taehyung, dear, why don’t you show __ around and introduce her to everyone?” she suggests smoothly. “They’re all in the living room. We’ll gather everyone to have lunch soon.”
Taehyung nods at the suggestion and begins leading you through the house, until you reach the living room at the end of the hall. The room is even larger than you anticipated upon entering, its high ceilings finished with a delicate glass chandelier. A grand piano sits in the far corner as well where a number of children huddle together, each taking turns playing a few notes.
One by one, Taehyung starts introducing you to his relatives and despite your initial apprehension, each person you meet greets you with nothing but warmth and kindness. Not even a single person shows discomfort towards you or makes a dig into your personal life (though you’re certain they’re well aware of who you are). It’s no wonder Taehyung boasts about his family so often—they truly are a close-knit and respectable group of people.
At least, that’s what you think until Taehyung asks, “Where's Auntie and Uncle? I haven’t seen them yet.”
One of Taehyung’s cousins looks a bit hesitant before replying, “Oh, Tae, I’m sorry, but we haven’t heard anything from them so they might not be coming today. Maybe they had last-minute plans. It’s a bit of a shame, really.”
An odd silence settles over the room at this, conversations lower in volume, and a few knowing glances are exchanged among relatives. The abrupt shift seems to throw a wrench into your previous statement of closeness since, evidently, the absence of Taehyung’s aunt and uncle casts a dark shadow over the cheerful gathering.
Sensing an awkward lull, Taehyung tries to lighten the mood with a bright smile. “Well, I’m sure we’ll still have a great time. I’m just happy to see everyone here.” He gently redirects the conversation to something more upbeat, attempting to remedy the unusual tension.
Just then, a small figure bursts into the room, capturing everyone’s attention.
A little girl, no more than six or seven years old, runs straight toward Taehyung with arms outstretched. “Taetae!” she shouts, using the affectionate nickname as she latches herself around his legs.
Taehyung's face breaks into possibly the happiest grin you’ve seen in response as he kneels to lift her up effortlessly, holding her close as she giggles. “Hey, sweetheart! I missed you!” His voice is filled with affection, though there’s a hint of shock as well.
Eagerly, the little girl secures her arms around his neck. “I missed you too! Mommy and Daddy said we might not be able to come, but here we are!”
“Well, I'm so glad! Have you been a good girl for your parents?” he asks with a playful tone.
The little girl nods vigorously. “Yes! I’ve been helping Mommy with so much lately.”
“Good job!” Taehyung says, giving her a high five.
You’re unsure exactly how the two relate, but the longer you watch the interaction unfold, the more evident it becomes that Taehyung’s a natural at connecting with children. His playful demeanor and patience make it clear that he has a special way with them. It’s heartwarming to see, quite honestly.
“Taetae, who’s she?” the little girl asks suddenly, her big, curious eyes setting on you.
Taehyung smiles and gestures for you to come closer. “This is __. She’s my friend.” He looks at you and adds, “This is my little cousin Eun-ha. We’re quite close.”
“Hi, Eun-ha,” you greet with a soft smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
She doesn’t return your greeting, but rather leans into Taehyung’s ear and whispers something you can’t quite hear.
Taehyung chuckles softly, though it does little to conceal your curiosity. “No, Eun-ha,” he says, shaking his head. “We don’t kiss like in my movies. But yes, she's very pretty.”
Though you wish otherwise, your surprise is barely hidden as you process the revelation.
“Why not?” Eun-ha asks, puzzled. “You kiss lots of pretty people in the movies.”
Flustered, Taehyung clears his throat. “Who’s letting you watch my shows? You’re a little young for those I think.”
“She likes to watch them when she can’t see you,” a new voice interjects.
Following the voice, you see two adults entering the room– Taehyung’s aunt and uncle. Their expressions are clearly stiff and somewhat distant, a stark contrast to the warmth of the rest of the family.
“Well, I guess it’s okay then,” Taehyung responds, maintaining his usual beaming smile. “Auntie, Uncle, it’s good to see you.”
His aunt and uncle offer polite but somewhat curt greetings.
“Glad to see you’re alright, Taehyung,” his aunt says, her tone lacking warmth.
“Hello,” his uncle adds, his expression neutral. “I see you’ve brought a guest.” He nods toward you.
“Yes, this is __,” Taehyung introduces you, “She’s a friend of mine and a colleague as well.”
The pair glance at you briefly, their eyes betraying a lack of interest.
“Nice to meet you,” his aunt says, though the thickness in her tone suggests otherwise.
“Likewise,” you respond, trying to match their formality with a friendly smile.
“You know, when I heard my nephew was bringing a guest, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect,” she continues, though the implication is unclear.
“I’m sorry?” you ask, trying to grasp her meaning.
“My apologies. I work as an editor for a journalism outlet, so I’ve come across your name before,” she explains. “It’s always interesting to see people in person after reading about them. I can’t say I ever imagined having the opportunity today.”
“Oh,” you say, trying to keep your composure. “I hope the coverage has been accurate.” You know they haven’t been, aside from a couple of progressive news outlets. Based on her rigid stare, you don’t think she belongs to either of them.
“They’re accurate most of the time,” she replies, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Although, there are always…different perspectives on such matters.”
You offer a polite, tight-lipped smile in response. Despite your best efforts to remain composed, however, your hands unconsciously clench into fists at your sides, indicating your bubbling discomfort.
“Well, I’m sure those articles are just one side of the coin,” Taehyung chimes in, attempting to smooth over the conversation. “I’m of the mindset that you really don’t know a person until you spend time with them. And I can assure you, those overpriced tabloids have it all wrong.” He shoots you a reassuring look.
In the midst of it all, Taehyung’s father steps into the room, oblivious to the tension. “Alright everyone, it’s time to eat!” he announces, his voice carrying a cheerful note. “Let’s gather around now.”
Neither you nor Taehyung’s aunt speak another word to each other as you follow his father into the dining room. You take a deep breath along the way, an attempt to steady yourself.
Tumblr media
As lunch begins, Taehyung’s father stands at the head of the table, a broad smile on his face as he raises a glass.
“We want to thank everyone for being here today to celebrate Taehyung’s recovery,” he begins, his voice filled with heartfelt sincerity. “We’re grateful for this family and for the love and support that has carried us through. To Taehyung!”
“To Taehyung!” everyone echoes, lifting their glasses in a unified cheer.
From then on, the meal progresses smoothly, with conversation gradually returning to pleasant topics. Dishes are passed around, and laughter helps lighten the mood. Taehyung’s parents share stories of their journey together, their voices rich with wisdom and nostalgia. As you listen, you get a glimpse of the morals that have shaped their family. It’s so different from your own upbringing, and you feel honored to be a part of it today.
Yet it's still difficult to ignore the lingering heaviness in your chest from your earlier interaction with Taehyung’s aunt. Even now, her sour expression is directed your way, though she seems to withhold her remarks, perhaps due to Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s presence.
Don’t take this personally, you repeat in your head. There’s likely some underlying history or traditional views being projected onto you. This isn’t really about you…don't take it personally.
Midway through the meal, Taehyung’s mother intrigues everyone by pulling out a collection of old photographs. She begins sharing the backstories of various childhood photos of Taehyung, the corners of her eyes crinkling with joy and amusement as she recounts each memory. Taehyung, visibly flustered, tries to hide his blush as his family teases him.
“Oh, look at this one!” his mother exclaims, holding up a particularly old photo of a much younger Taehyung with a hilariously exaggerated hairstyle. “He was so determined to be a rock star!”
The room bursts into laughter, and Taehyung grins sheepishly, his cheeks rosy. “Is this really necessary? I mean __’s here…”
“Come on, Tae, it’s cute!” you say with a smile, giving his arm a playful shove. As you do, Taehyung’s aunt’s eyes widen slightly. Her gaze shifts sharply between you two, and a flicker of disapproval crosses her face. You stop your playfulness upon first notice, finding it hard to ignore.
“It’s embarrassing,” Taehyung retorts, unaware of his aunt’s reaction.
“Oh hush,” his mother replies with a warm smile. “Let a mother indulge in the memories of her children. You’re all grown up now, and with your busy schedule, I hardly see you anymore.”
“Alright, fair point,” Taehyung concedes. “Carry on.”
When the meal winds down, Taehyung’s aunt clears her throat and speaks up. “Is everyone ready for dessert? I’ve baked a homemade cake,” she announces, tone carrying a hint of forced cheerfulness. Turning to you, she adds, “Would you mind assisting me in the kitchen, __? I could use an extra hand.”
Taehyung immediately offers to help, but his aunt insists on speaking with you alone, masking it as an opportunity to get to know you better.
Once you’re in the kitchen and away from prying eyes and ears, Taehyung’s aunt’s demeanor shifts abruptly. She returns to her previous blunt and unreserved nature. “I need to be honest with you,” she begins, her voice low and steely. “I don’t think you should be here.”
Her words sting, yet a part of you can’t help but wonder if there’s some merit to them.
“I know this is a family event, and I’m sorry if it seems like I’m intruding. Taehyung invited me.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” she dismisses, venom lacing her tone. “I mean, you shouldn’t be here with Taehyung.”
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to—”
“Oh please, don’t pretend I don’t have eyes, Ms. __,” she interjects sharply. The use of your formal name sends a chill down your spine. “You may be friends now, but I can see there’s more going on beneath the surface. Unlike the rest of my family, I won’t just stand by and let it happen. So, if you think you can charm your way into my nephew’s life just like you did with that ex-husband of yours, then you’re mistaken. I won’t allow you to ruin his life.”
Ruin his life? You ruined Jungkook’s life and now you are about to ruin Taehyung’s? Confused and hurt, you finally realize the root of the matter–she's convinced you’re a gold digger.
You’re stunned by the accusation, struggling to find words as she continues. “There’s nothing you can say to change my mind either. Even if the articles aren’t exactly true, you still have a past, and Taehyung deserves better—someone without all these complications. Don’t you agree? Maybe if you hadn’t been married before and were ten years younger, things might be different. But honestly? A woman your age should already have a family of her own.”
Silence falls heavily in the kitchen after her final words, the only sound being your labored breaths. Your throat goes dry and your hands clammy as some of your deepest insecurities take root, striking right at your core.
It’s true—you’re 30 years old, divorced, and without children. It’s a stark contrast to your peers.
You’d always imagined your life turning out differently, but here you are, alone and without any kind of companionship. You weren’t expecting to be reminded of it all today.
“I think you’ve made yourself clear about how you feel,” a voice speaks up, and you think it’s yours, until you realize it’s much too deep.
Taehyung’s aunt looks momentarily stunned to see her nephew standing in the doorway, his expression a mixture of shock and anger. But she quickly regains her composure. “Taehyung, I was just—”
“Please don’t,” he interrupts, voice firm. “If I had known you were going to be this cruel towards someone I deeply care about, then I’m sorry I invited you.”
He steps closer, his gaze unwavering. “You have no right to judge someone you don’t know based on rumors and assumptions.”
His aunt’s face softens, though her disapproval remains. “I’m only looking out for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t need you to protect me from my own choices,” Taehyung replies, his voice calmer. “I’ve made my own decisions, and __ is a part of that. If you can’t respect that, then maybe you should reconsider how you approach these situations.”
Taehyung’s aunt stands silent for a moment, her gaze shifting between Taehyung and you. She seems to weigh his words before finally nodding and turning back towards the dining room, her displeasure still evident.
Taehyung turns to you, his face etched with worry. “Are you alright?”
You hesitate, unable to give a clear response. “I… I think I need some air,” you finally say.
“Maybe it’s time we take that walk down to the beach,” he suggests gently. “What do you think? Of course, if you’d prefer to go solo, that’s completely your call too. I’ll understand either way.”
You nod, appreciating the idea. “I’d like you to come with me.”
“Let me grab Tan and we can head down,” Taehyung says with a reassuring smile.
Tumblr media
The sound of the waves grows louder as you approach the ocean, providing a soothing backdrop to your racing thoughts. It's even more beautiful up close, you think, observing how the sun reflects off the water.
As you walk along the shore, Tan runs ahead, chasing the waves and barking playfully. The sight of him brings a small smile to your face, easing some of the heaviness in your chest.
Taehyung walks beside you, his presence peaceful, though neither of you are quick to speak.
Finally, after a few minutes pass, he breaks the silence.
“I’m really sorry about what happened back there," he says quietly. "My aunt's always had more traditional perspectives, but I didn’t know how rigid they’d gotten. Regardless of how she might've made you feel, I want you to know that you’re very important to me and I couldn't care less about what the public says. The rest of my family seems to love you too so far."
You take a deep breath, the salty air filling your lungs. “It’s not your fault, Taehyung. But thank you.” You pause, your face visibly conflicted. “To be honest, I’ve heard variations of it before from other people. I just didn’t expect her to be so… direct.”
He nods, turning to you with sincerity. “I know it was hurtful, and even though I didn’t hear everything she said, you didn’t deserve it. It's not true, either.”
You manage a small, tight-lipped smile, but it hardly matches how you feel inside. “Well,” you begin, continuing your walk, “some of it's true, I think.” Taehyung looks at you with concern, though you struggle to hold his gaze.
“Wanna sit?” he suggests lightly, gesturing to a spot on the beach with a clear view of the waves ahead. "Tan'll be fine to roam around on his own."
You nod slowly in reply, a gentle breeze caressing your face and feathering against your legs as you move.
Once you reach the area, you tuck the skirt of your dress beneath your thighs and take a seat on the soft sand. Taehyung sits down beside you.
“So,” he starts again, his eyes never leaving your face, “what’s true?"
You take a moment, watching the waves crash against the shore before forming a response. “It’s just…” Your voice falters as you search for the right words. “I’m 30 years old. The natural course for someone my age is to have a family, a couple of kids, and of course, be married. Or at the very least, have a reliable romantic partner.”
“Instead,” you take a short breath, “it feels like I’m living in a completely different reality from everyone else. Divorced from a big shot CEO, without children, and painted as some kind of spinster or gold digger for the media to exploit. Being a woman, there's really no in-between which makes it that much harder to overcome."
Upon finishing your thought, an unmistakable nervousness bubbles up within you. Had you just overshared? Were you too honest? Although unsettled, everything in you hopes that you didn't just overstep your boundaries with Taehyung, as the two of you hadn't had this deep of a conversation before. You find yourself holding your breath as he replies.
"To have all that unnecessary pressure placed on you is unfair,” he says quietly. “I can’t imagine how tough it must be to feel disregarded and reduced to so little. I'm so sorry, __. I'm sorry that we gets so fixated on image and what’s deemed proper that we often forget the real meaning behind things. I know it might be hard to believe, but there’s more to your story than what others see or say. More than even you might think, too."
As if inevitable, your vision goes misty and a tear spills down your cheek upon hearing his words, though you're quick to wipe it away. It's not that the words themselves are monumental, but rather, they confirm the closeness of your relationship. Few people have ever understood or cared to understand you, so you had stopped expecting it altogether, especially after your divorce. Yet somehow, Taehyung always surprises you, being one of the few who truly does.
Feeling a bit more comfortable, you admit, "I know it's probably an overstatement, but I can't help but feel like I'm alone in ways that are hard to escape. Some days I just don't know what to do with it all. Does that make sense?"
“Sweetheart,” Taehyung says softly, taking the hand you used to wipe your tears and lacing his fingers with yours. The warmth of his touch sends a comforting spark through you. He’s never called you that before, and it feels unexpectedly intimate—almost domestic, if you didn’t know better.
“It makes complete sense, especially given what you've gone through and still are. You don’t ever have to feel alone anymore though,” he continues. “I’m here for you. You have Jimin and Namjoon too. And the three of us? We’ll always have your back.”
Your eyes soften as you meet his gaze. He’s looking at you with such warmth and innocence, yet he hasn’t fully grasped the weight of your words.
“I appreciate it,” you say gratefully. “It’s not all one-dimensional, though. When I say I feel alone, I mean relationally as well because, given my age and marital status, it's unlikely I'll find any real companionship. I’m just considered ‘used goods' after all.”
“Used goods? Who the hell said you're used?” Taehyung’s voice rises, not in anger but in genuine offense. Amid his reaction, his hand slips from yours.
“Our entire society?” you retort, raising your voice before lowering it again, realizing he means well. You pull your legs up to your chin and hug them. “I’m divorced, Tae. I’m no beauty queen. Just used goods, as I said.”
You both stare out into the distance, falling into a brief silence.
“Well, I for one think you’re very gorgeous,” he says softly, still gazing ahead. “So please, don’t call yourself used. You’re definitely not.”
“Tae—”
“Do you wish you were still married?” he interjects gently, eyes returning to yours, searching for the truth. He wants to add, To Jungkook? but keeps it to himself, not deeming it his business.
You take a moment to process his question before responding.
“Some days I do,” you admit. “Not just with anyone, though. I’ve already learned my lesson the hard way. Jimin tried setting me up with a few of his coworkers a while back, but I declined. They’re so far away that I doubt anything would work out. Plus, not to be harsh but who in their right mind would risk it with me anyway?”
“I mean...I would,” he replies almost immediately, insistence in his voice. There's no trace of bluff at all and for a moment, your heart feels like it's doing about a hundred somersaults in your chest. Taehyung's seriousness makes it seem like he means it in a deeper way, but it can't be—he’s merely speaking figuratively because of your closeness.
“Of course you would,” you reply, grabbing his hand again and smiling gratefully. “Because you love me, right?”
You pose the question playfully, feeling your mood lift slightly, but Taehyung’s expression turns stunned, like a deer caught in headlights.
“I do,” he finally murmurs, deep and meaningful, a soft glimmer in his eyes. “I really do.”
"Hu-" you choke on your words, still trying to process his. You never finish, though, as Taehyung suddenly moves to stand up, a newfound cheekiness taking precedence over his face.
“Come on,” he says, “on a warm day like this, we should find a way to enjoy ourselves. Dance with me.”
“What?” you ask, though to be honest, you're not surprised by his spontaneity. “Dancing is a no, Tae. You know I have zero rhythm.”
He doesn’t reply to your argument but instead draws his phone from his pocket, tapping around until light jazz music starts playing. He turns up the volume as loud as he can before placing it on the ground beside you.
“What are you doing?” you watch as he begins swaying his body from side to side, snapping his fingers when the beat feels right.
“I’m dancing by myself since you refuse to get up.”
You laugh, “I happen to like it this way. You can be my source of entertainment.” You adjust yourself so your legs are stretched out in front of you, feet crossed as you lean back on your arms.
He chuckles and continues dancing in small circles. You feel a little guilty the longer you watch. But then...
“__,” he calls your name, low and raspy. He steps over towards you and leans down until he's face to face with you. You like the way the sun glows down on his face, and the thought crosses your mind—he looks incredibly handsome. “__,” he calls your name again, and you realize you've been staring a little too long.
“Sorry,” you reply. “Sun’s making me dazed.”
He gives his usual boxy smile, and damn, why are you feeling so affected by him today? It’s not usually this much.
“Will you please dance with me? I don’t mind dancing by myself, but I prefer a partner.” He pouts and you know you’re done for.
“I’m not going to be good though,” you reply, reluctantly rising from your comfortable seated position. Taehyung pulls you into his hold the moment you’re on your feet. It's a little rougher than he meant, and your bodies accidentally collide in the process.
“Shit, my bad,” he says, taking a small step back.
“It’s fine," you assure, doing the same but not before catching a whiff of his cologne. You can't quite place the scent, but it’s nice...really, really nice.
As the music continues to play, you both sway gently to the rhythm. Taehyung’s touch is warm and steady as he guides you through each simple step. You feel a strange sense of comfort and safety in his arms, and for a moment, it feels like the rest of the world fades away.
“I didn’t realize you were such a good dancer,” you start. “You’ve been keeping secrets from me.”
He spins you gently, and you let out a surprised laugh, the sound mingling with the soft notes of the jazz music. “I had to take ballroom dancing lessons for a role I played years ago,” he replies smoothly, “but I enjoyed it, so I kept it up.” When you come back to him, he holds you a little tighter, and the closeness feels more intimate and special than you anticipated.
“You’re doing great, by the way,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. "Even with barely any practice."
“All thanks to you,” you reply, a shy smile tugging at your lips. “I guess it’s kinda fun.”
“See? Not so bad,” he says with a triumphant grin.
You glance towards the ocean, feeling a rush of spontaneity yourself. “The water looks so inviting. We should go in.”
He quirks a brow, taking in both of your more formal attire. “Dressed like this?” he asks.
You don’t answer. Instead, you slide out of his hold and run towards the water, laughing and splashing him once he’s close enough behind you.
“Hey! This was expensive!” he shouts, but there's no threat in his voice, only amusement.
“Well, you shouldn’t have worn it around me then!” you tease, splashing him again.
Now nearly drenched, Taehyung huffs and bends down to scoop water into his palm. “You’re gonna get it…” You back away quickly, but he follows after you. “Come here, I have a very special gift for you __,” he says mischievously, water spilling from his hand as he chases you.
You both end up playing in the water for the next ten minutes, splashing and laughing until you find yourself regaining confidence. At some point, Taehyung unexpectedly tackles you from behind, his arms wrapping so tightly around your waist that no amount of movement would free you.
You find yourselves too lost in amusement to notice your closeness until small droplets of water begin falling from above.
"Was that rain?" You stop all movement, but his grip doesn’t loosen. "Tae?" You call his name when it seems he doesn’t register your question, twisting your head over your shoulder to peer at him.
“Oh…um, sorry,” he finally stammers, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as he realizes the tight hold he has on you. His body flushes against your back.
“No, it’s okay…” you struggle to conceal a blush of your own, the warmth of his embrace a little overpowering. "So, I think we should head back. I'm pretty sure it's raining."
He nods and slowly unwraps his arms from around you. "I agree, but where's Tan?" His eyes frantically scan around the beach. "Tan!" he calls, and soon, two fluffy, slightly damp ears pop out from behind a rock.
"Aww," you exclaim, bending down to pick up the little dog when he trots over. "Look at him. We neglected the baby."
Taehyung snorts at your remark. "He'll be okay. It barely started."
You pretend to cover Tan's ears and shoot Taehyung a faux alarmed expression. "He can hear you, you know."
Taehyung chuckles and gently cups Tan’s face while he nestles in your arms, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. “Sorry, buddy,” he says with a grin. As he looks up, he catches a prolonged gaze in your eyes and raises an eyebrow. “What? You want one too?”
“Oh, uhm, no,” you laugh, a bit nervously, shaking your head. “It’s just nice to see you so endearing.” You think back to how Taehyung had interacted so sweetly with his younger cousin, Eun-ha, earlier. It’s a side of him you're finding increasingly appealing.
Taehyung's gaze softens as he replies, “I like to take care of those I love.”
Love, you repeat quietly to yourself. It sounds so different when he says it.
You smile and, side by side, head back to the house.
Tumblr media
The faint drizzle of rain quickly turns into a downpour, with a flash of lightning illuminating the sky and thunder rumbling in the distance. Despite the potential inconvenience, Taehyung’s parents insist that it would be better for both of you to wait until morning to drive back.
"It isn't safe," his mom advises, fluffing a pillow in the guest bedroom. "The two of you can stay here for the night. I’d offer the living room sofa too, but some of your cousins are staying over as well."
"Thanks, Mom," Taehyung replies, and when she leaves the room he casts a brief glance your way. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“What? No, you can sleep in the bed with Tan." You pause, eyes scanning the room for an alternative spot. “This chair looks pretty comfortable. I’ll grab a blanket and make do.”
"Okay no, I’m not letting you sleep on that old, dusty chair and risk waking up with a giant kink in your neck.” Taehyung places his hands on his hips, his tone firm. “Why don’t we just sleep in the bed together? For some inexplicable reason, my parents chose to put a California King in here so there should be plenty of room. I’ll even sleep on top of the covers.”
“No, it's fine. Tan needs his space."
“Sweetheart." There it is again, that same petname from earlier. Why do you not seem to hate it? "Tan is so tiny he’ll literally curl between us," he argues, though it does little to convince you.
“Tae, I told you it’s—”
“Alright, I’ll take the chair then-” Taehyung starts to move toward it, but stubbornly, you block his path. There's no way he's sleeping on a chair when you're the guest here.
“You will do no such thing!" Naturally, you place your hands on your hips. “This is your home—well, your parent's home and I won't be subjecting you to sleep on something that small. Seriously Tae, I'd fit much better on it than you would given our height differences.”
A small, frustrated sigh escapes him as he counters, “I'd really rather you be comfortable, especially in an unfamiliar environment. So can we please stop arguing about this? It’s really unnecessary. Either I take the chair or we both find a way to share the bed. You can’t tell me you and Jimin never shared a bed before, and he’s your friend too!"
“Yes, but that’s different,” you insist. “Jimin and I have been friends for years! There’s a strong trust built between us.”
“What do you mean by that? You don’t trust me?” His face mirrors that of a sad, puppy-dog.
“Tae, it’s not that at all,” you say softly, trying to sound reassuring. “I do trust you. It’s just… I guess I just meant that Jimin and I have a long history together. We’ve grown very comfortable with each other in ways you and I haven’t yet.”
Taehyung’s brows furrow in concern. “What are you really worried about, __?”
You shrug, feeling a bit flustered. “Nothing…”
Your mind immediately drifts back to the beach—how he listened, held your hand gently, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, and what it felt like to be held so close under the rain. Everything felt so genuine, warm, and openly vulnerable.
You share similar feelings with Jimin, but they have limits as you are definitely only friends… best friends, to be precise. With Taehyung, you figured it would be the same; however, after today, you're realizing more and more how unsure you are of where the limits are (or where you want them to be), and it startles you.
But it’s not this alone that fuels your apprehension tonight— there’s something else.
“You know I won’t do anything right?” Taehyung asks, his voice earnest. “I sleep with five pillows!”
You raise an eyebrow, a faint smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “Five? What the hell, Tae? Are you a princess?”
“Yes,” Taehyung says, more nonchalantly than expected, “but stop deflecting. It sounds weird and a bit kinky, but why won’t you sleep in the bed with me?”
Should you tell him?
Your expression grows serious as you explain, “Because it can be very intimate,” you murmur softly. “Maybe I'm overthinking it all, but the last time I shared a bed with someone it...uhm...it was…”
“...with your ex-husband,” Taehyung finishes for you, his tone gentle with understanding. His eyes soften as he looks at you.
“Yes…” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s silly, but I haven’t done it in a long time. Even Jimin and I haven’t shared a bed in years.”
“I’m sorry…” Taehyung says, his voice filled with genuine regret.
“Tae, you don’t have to be sorry,” you say, shaking your head. “It’s my own issue. I’ll just sleep on the chair, alright? It’s only one night.”
“Not happening, you’ll take the bed with Tan.”
“Seriously,” you start to protest, but he’s already moving toward the foot of the bed with determination in his eyes. He grabs the blanket from the end and rushes over to the chair with haste. You run after him, pulling at his arm, and both of you end up laughing, the tension gradually breaking.
“It's been a very long day and I'm quite tired, __. How about turning off the lights, please?” He spreads out the blanket and settles into the chair with a satisfied sigh. Then, there’s a loud creak followed by a distinct cracking sound.
“Fuck—” Taehyung swears as the chair suddenly collapses under his weight. He rises from his seat, grimacing at the broken chair. “I knew it was old, but damn, I didn’t think it was that old.”
“Shit, please tell me this wasn't a family heirloom or something.”
“Uh… I don’t think so?” Taehyung scratches his head, looking sheepish. “I’ll let my mom know in the morning. It’ll be fine, okay? No worries. But, um, I’ll sleep on the floor instead.” Taehyung then grabs a couple pillows and a blanket and starts forming a makeshift bed on the floor. While you watch him, your heart softens despite your exhaustion.
“Alright, enough,” you sigh, exasperated. “If we keep this up, we’ll just be going in circles all night. Let’s just share the bed, Tae. It’s not worth you being uncomfortable.”
Taehyung looks up, concern written over his face. “Are you sure? I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable either. I’m happy to—”
“I’m sure,” you cut him off, doing your best not to overthink it. “You're the one who'll be driving for five hours tomorrow anyway, so let’s just get some decent rest. It's okay, really.”
After a good long pause, you both end up climbing into the bed, each taking your own side as Tan curls himself at the foot of the bed. Taehyung reaches over to turn off the light, but despite the calmness of the room, you find yourself unable to sleep right away. You’re unaware he feels similarly until he unexpectedly breaks the silence.
“Are you warm enough?” he asks quietly. “We have more blankets if you need them.”
You turn slightly toward him. “I’m okay for now, but thanks for checking.”
He gives a soft, reassuring smile. “Alright. Just let me know if you need anything. Sleep well.”
“Thanks, Tae.” You roll back onto your side and close your eyes. “You too.”
Tumblr media
As the night deepens, the storm outside continues its relentless drumming against the windows. At some point, Taehyung jolts awake to a faint but unmistakable sound.
He blinks groggily at first, adjusting to the dim light filtering through the curtains. Then he notices your restless movements and hears you murmuring softly in your sleep, a note of distress in your voice.
"__?" he asks quietly, still half-asleep. "Are you okay?"
When you don’t respond, he shifts closer, concerned by the unease on your face. Seeing your share of the blankets has slipped off, he gently tugs them back over you, making sure they cover you comfortably.
Amid the movement, a muddled groan escapes your lips—something between a whimper and a sigh, "Mmm… no…"
It doesn't take a genius to figure out you must be having a nightmare of some sort. “It’s just a dream,” he whispers soothingly, brushing a stray hair from your face. “You’re safe here with me.”
He gently takes your slightly trembling hand and holds it gently in his. “I’m right here, __,” he sighs softly. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be here.”
Taehyung isn’t sure how much time passes before your restlessness stops, but he stays awake, hand clutching yours until it does. Eventually, assuming you’ve finally entered a more peaceful sleep, he releases your hand and rolls onto his side.
What he doesn't expect is for you to unconsciously follow him over, your body snuggling against his back. The warmth of your body against his is comforting, but he knows he can't let you stay there and risk any awkwardness in the morning. So with the utmost care, he rolls over to face you and gently adjusts your body until you're lying comfortably on your back again.
"I hope you'll be able to sleep better now," he whispers, his voice barely audible above the storm. "Goodnight."
Tumblr media
Following the reunion, you and Taehyung part ways with mutual thank-yous and promises to see each other soon.
Time seems to vanish afterward as you find yourself increasingly buried under an endless pile of work projects. Apparently, over the weekend, a notable investor reached out to your company with hopes of setting up a meeting.
Namjoon is nearly tripping over his words when he relays the message to you.
"Can you believe it?" Your secretary stands within a foot from your desk, excitement evident in his voice. "They want to meet with us! This could be huge for our company."
You share his enthusiasm but your need to remain holistic in the matter tempers your ability to feel overly zealous. Meetings with investors always carry significant opportunities; however, there's no guarantee a deal will be struck. Truthfully, it depends on a number of factors, their level of interest outweighing them all.
Plus, every meeting requires extensive preparation—late nights where you tirelessly hunch over your computer, perfecting every detail of the pitch and this one promises to be no different.
"Did they happen to mention a time or date for further discussion?" you ask, matter-of-factly. Namjoon nods, pulling out his phone.
"Yes, they suggested next Wednesday at 10 AM.”
You weigh the proposal in your mind. “That should give us enough time to get everything in order, then,” you conclude. “Please put it in our calendar and let them know we’ll be ready to meet on that day.”
From then on, the remainder of your week unfolds exactly as you anticipate—relentless preparation, long nights, and meticulous planning until the small of your back aches for relief. One might say it's an exaggeration, but the only breaks you can afford are for primal necessities like eating, sleeping, and using the bathroom.
Even your weekend is spent within the walls of your home office, a far cry from previous weekends when you used to visit the book café or meet up with Taehyung.
Speaking of which, you haven’t really gotten to see each other since his family gathering and though it was only a week ago, the lack of his presence leaves you feeling a bit disheartened. He replied to your text yesterday, but even so, it was brief—something about a new project or talk show interview was keeping him busy as well.
By the time Wednesday arrives, your neck is so riddled with the stress of the upcoming investor meeting that you can barely focus on your proposal notes. Everything in you hopes that the investors will be impressed enough to partner with you, but thinking about it does nothing except heighten your nervousness.
In search of some kind of solace, your mind wanders to Taehyung instead. The memory of the small dance you shared with him on the beach is once again vivid, as if it happened just moments ago—the soft sand beneath your feet, the sound of the waves, and the way his gentle hands gripped around your waist.
But why does this memory, out of all the possibilities, feel so soothing?
You've been struggling to come to a plausible conclusion since the day it happened, yet deep down, you know it’s not as trivial as it seems. You miss it, your subconscious hums, you miss him.
Just then, Namjoon pokes his head into your office, signaling that the investors have arrived in the conference room. You send a curt nod in reply and gather your notes, refocusing your mind on the task at hand; everything else will have to wait.
Tumblr media
Turns out, you might have been a bit too pessimistic about the investor meeting. They’re surprisingly pleased with your plans and proposals, nodding along to each of your points. However, their request for a day or two to reach a final decision catches you a tad off guard.
Rather than grapple with the uncertainty though, you decide to mentally prepare for whatever comes next... starting by decompressing at the bar downtown, a glass of their strongest alcohol in hand.
At first, finding a seat proves to be a challenge as you navigate through a sea of sweaty bodies. But luck, seemingly on your side, provides you with an empty chair at the far end of the bar. While you sit and order your drink, you can't help but wonder what Taehyung might be doing tonight. Should you text him to see if he’d join you, even if only for fifteen minutes?
Slipping your phone from the side pocket of your bag, you curse silently at your apparent haste. Your subconscious was right—you really have missed him, damn.
All at once, your thoughts are put to an abrupt stop when you take a quick glance around the bar, your gaze unprepared to land on two familiar silhouettes at the opposite end—Namjoon, with Taehyung next to him, drinks in hand. You don’t know how you failed to notice them before. They’re laughing, clearly enjoying each other’s company, and for a moment, your face lifts into a smile.
But that smile quickly fades when you catch sight of two women sauntering over to join them. Your initial joy is swiftly replaced by a sharp sting of jealousy and you chastise yourself for the feeling. Who are you to react this way? Taehyung can do whatever he wants—why should you care who he’s out with?
Forcing yourself to shake off the feeling, you take a sip of your drink, but your gaze keeps drifting back to the group. It’s obvious that the taller of the two women, arguably as stunning as Taehyung, is laser-focused on him, her hand brushing his arm lightly as she laughs at whatever joke he’s just told. Probably a dumb one, you think bitterly; it's obvious she's not just there for the humor and booze. It's strange to witness, as you've only known Taehyung to allow a few, select women to touch him so openly—his mother, his onscreen cast members, and you.
Okay __, stop, you scold yourself. This is a bad idea; you’re getting too involved for your own good. Hastily, you finish your drink and head out of the bar, the cool night air brushing against your skin. If Taehyung goes home with her, it’s none of your business.
You're barely a few feet outside the bar's door when you hear commotion echo from a nearby alley. Alarmed, you whip towards the noise, your eyes widening in disbelief. There, in the dim light, you see your ex-husband doubled over, clutching his stomach, while a shadowy figure stands in front of him, fist clenched.
You’re not sure where the courage comes from, but within seconds, you're springing to action, racing towards the scene with a surge of adrenaline. “Hey!” you shout as loudly as you can. The attacker glances back, frazzled, then bolts into the night, leaving Jungkook hunched against the alley wall.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” you ask frantically, rushing to his side and helping him to his feet. He flinches away from your touch initially, his face a mix of panic and agony. “It’s me, Jungkook. It's __. Can you hear me? It’s okay, I’m here,” you reassure him the best you can, hoping to ease him.
Jungkook takes a few shaky breaths, body still weak as he struggles to hold himself up against the wall. His eyes are glazed, and he seems disoriented. “I… I didn’t expect you,” he mutters, his voice strained.
Offering him an arm, you help him steady himself. “Let’s get you out of here, okay?” He nods weakly, and as you guide him towards the parking lot and into the light, you ask, "What happened back there? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?"
Jungkook sighs, wincing slightly. “No, it’s... I’m fine. He was just a kid—no more than 21. Angry, probably a little drunk, and accused me of being the reason his father got fired. At first, I was confused, but then I vaguely recognized him as being one of our employee’s sons. Pretty sure it was my dad who fired his—I was probably just an easier target."
You both fall into a contemplative silence as you continue walking. Of course Jungkook's father, the chairman of the company, would be behind this, you think. Previous times spent with him had shown you how ruthless he could be when it came to the "well-being" of his company. Whoever the kid was, he probably had a right to be angry, but physically taking it out on Jungkook wasn’t justifiable by any means.
“You sure you don’t need a doctor?” you ask, glancing at him with concern.
He shakes his head dismissively, "Don't worry about me," he replies. "A couple of punches to the gut won't kill me. I think it's about time I head home though."
You nod in agreement. “Where did you park?”
He points to a spot on the far left side of the parking lot, and you nearly groan at the sight. “Did you have to bring your bike tonight?” you ask, a hint of exasperation in your voice.
Jungkook gives a weak smile, understanding the inconvenience of the situation. “Thought I’d ride it in case I needed to get somewhere fast,” he replies, his voice strained but with a touch of humor.
"Come on," you say, walking him toward your car instead. "We might not be married anymore, but there’s no way in hell I'm letting you ride your bike home in this condition. You can pick it up tomorrow."
Jungkook chuckles weakly. “Damn, and to think we were about to ride it together for old times’ sake. You used to be pretty good with my motorcycle back when you were my girlfriend, __." You roll your eyes, patience thinning. If this is another one of his sexual advances, you’re long over it.
"Yeah, well, that was before Taehyung’s accident scared me half to death," you retort. "And for the record, I was never your girlfriend. We went from work partners straight to I do." You open the passenger door and help him into the seat, giving him a gentle shove. "Now sit tight and no more motorcycle talk."
Jungkook leans back and raises an eyebrow with a playful smirk. “Well, what are we gonna talk about then? It’s a twenty-minute drive to my place.”
You slide into the driver’s seat and start the engine, giving him the go-ahead to enter his address into your car’s GPS. “Are you really whining already?”
As Jungkook taps away on the GPS, you’re suddenly reminded of a series of past car trips you shared with him. It’s almost like déjà vu.
“Seriously, __,” he starts, allowing his playful demeanor to fade. “Thank you for doing this for me. I know we… well, we aren’t exactly on the best terms.”
From the corner of your eye, you observe the way he aimlessly stares out the window, unsure whether to meet your gaze.
"We may not be in the best place, but that doesn’t mean I’d just leave you there," you sigh, gripping the steering wheel tighter. A long pause follows afterward until the question that's been gnawing at you finally slips from your lips. "How's everything with the company?"
Seemingly unfazed, as if he’d been anticipating the question, Jungkook replies, “I’m guessing you’ve heard the rumors.”
“Hard not to,” you say, keeping your eyes on the road.
He takes a deep breath before continuing, "Well, it's um... it's a sabbatical. I know it's probably a shock, right? My father isn’t too thrilled about it, so he’s delayed the official announcement until we reach a final consensus. But things have been... complicated. Our newest product launched recently, and it’s doing well, but now I think I need some time for myself. To take a step back.”
Well, shit.
Even with all the rumors, you never would have guessed in a million years that the truth of the matter was an impending sabbatical. Jungkook has always been the type to work himself until his hands bleed, so this is the last reason you expected to hear.
“I’m glad to hear you’re finally letting yourself have a break, but honestly, it doesn’t sound like you at all. Feel free not to share, but what do you mean by ‘complicated’?” The way he frames it sounds almost ominous.
“You really want to know?” He finally glances at you for the first time since getting into the car, his eyes carrying a hint of vulnerability.
“Only if you want to share,” you reply cautiously.
He looks down at his hands, gathering his thoughts. “So, remember when we last saw each other a few months back? Well, I’ve been reflecting a lot on our relationship since then. I know I wasn’t fair to you, __, and I really wish I could take it all back. You never deserved any of it. I was incredibly selfish and I’m truly sorry.”
You remain silent, thrown off by how quickly everything circles back to your fragile past together. Still, you allow him to speak.
"Before we parted ways, you suggested I see a professional, and… I thought I'd finally take your advice for once. It’s strange because I’d never gone before, but…”
He pauses, searching for the right words. “I’m starting to understand a lot about myself—why I react the way I do and how I handle things. It’s been tough, but I’m trying. I guess I’m taking this sabbatical because I need to figure myself out, away from work, so I can be better and stop hurting people around me."
For the first time in a long time, as you listen to your ex-husband, you realize he's beginning to sound genuinely mature. If it's true that he's been seeing a therapist and taking a sabbatical to prioritize his well-being, then you're extremely proud of him.
Yet, a small part of you remains stubborn, wishing he had made these changes earlier—imagine where you might be now if he had.
“Thank you for being open enough to share this with me," you respond slowly, careful not to misspeak. "Though I’m still a little surprised, I have to say I’m really proud of you for seeking help. I’ve been seeing someone as well, and it took me some time to settle in too, but I suppose that’s part of the healing process—being uncomfortable to an extent. We’ve had our share of challenges with one another, but despite everything, I’ll always wish the best for you, Jungkook—including your health and mental well-being.”
As you pull into the driveway of his house, parking the car near the front door, Jungkook takes a deep breath and turns to you, visibly affected. "It means a lot that you'd say that, __," he starts hesitantly, hands fidgeting in his lap. "I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and I understand if you can't forgive me completely. But I want you to know that I am sorry. I wasn’t fair to you and I'm not proud of my behavior at all."
You nod in response, a small, tight-lipped smile forming. His remorse for the past is finally sincere, yet even now, as he looks at you with those hopeful eyes—the same ones you carried for months on end—you know he's searching for more than just your forgiveness.
But this time, you don’t think you can offer him more than that.
Because while you grew fond of him during your marriage, you've come to realize how unearned and misplaced that affection was. He broke your heart not once, but twice. And although you can never hate him, deep down, you can't ignore the lingering sting you feel when you're around him.
It's both sobering and eye-opening.
So, rather than reversing into old emotions, you simply say, "I believe you, Jungkook, and I think with time I'll be able to forgive you. If there’s ever a time when you’re in dire need of help, like tonight, I’ll do my best to be there. I’m afraid that’s as far as we can go, though."
It’s written all over his face that it’s not what he was hoping to hear, but respectfully, he doesn’t press further.
"I understand," he says, fingers reaching to for the passenger door handle. "Thank you again for being there for me tonight, and for driving me home. Please feel free to reach out if you ever need me as well. I hope for the best for you too, however and with whoever you choose."
The two of you exchange a brief look of gratitude before he finally pulls the door open and steps out of the car, making his way to his front door.
"Have a good night, and rest up," you call out to him. He smiles, gives a wave, and heads inside.
As you slowly back out of the driveway, you sigh, leaving only one person ruminating in your mind: Taehyung.
Then, inevitably, images of the stunning woman at the bar with him intrude your thoughts, stirring a deep, unsettling emotion within you.
Does it really matter that much who he's out with?
Are you really that jealous about it?
Mentally, you go back and forth as if plucking petals from a large sunflower… Yes. No. Yes. No. Until—Silence.
You can't seem to give a straight answer. It's like the closer you and Taehyung grow, the more undefinable and knotted your feelings become. Yet, the further apart you are, the more unnatural it feels...
Tumblr media
Well, your indecisiveness doesn’t get any better by Friday because, finally, after what feels like an eternity, you and Taehyung have plans.
You’re heading out for dinner at a restaurant of his choosing tonight, as he insisted you go somewhere new. Where could it be? You have no clue, and while surprises aren’t usually your thing, his enthusiasm when you confirmed plans earlier has left you intrigued. There’s also this faint, inexplicably giddy feeling in your stomach that won’t go away, coinciding with a slight nervousness.
With such a seemingly important occasion, you find yourself in front of your bedroom mirror, twisting from side to side in what’s probably the fifth outfit you’ve tried on. But nothing seems to fit quite right. You’re feeling especially frustrated to be frank, as something that usually takes you twenty minutes is turning into a whole hour.
You end up tossing one final dress over your head—a bit more elegant for the occasion, but it’s one of the few items you own that accentuates your body down to the last detail. The dress hugs around your waist and falls just above your knees, its rich color perfectly complementing your skin tone. But isn’t it a little revealing? The neckline dips down further than you remember.
Crap—the alarm on your phone suddenly chimes, reminding you that Taehyung's arriving in ten minutes. You're running out of time.
"You’re being ridiculous. It’ll be fine,” you reassure yourself, smoothing down the skirt of the dress. “You're just friends. He won’t care.”
“Friends” stings more than you anticipated, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a deflated feeling in your chest.
Nevertheless, you give yourself one last look in the mirror, apply a quick swipe of lipstick, and head downstairs. Just as you finish slipping on your shoes and grabbing your purse from the coat rack, the doorbell rings, causing your heart to leap from your chest.
Deciding to rip it off like a band-aid, you toss open the door, and there he is—standing on your doorstep with his signature boxy grin and gently tousled raven hair. Taehyung's dressed in a tailored blazer and matching slacks over a crisp white t-shirt, and you find yourself at a complete loss for words as if you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be around him.
Maybe it’s something in the air, but he appears equally stunned, looking you up and down with wide eyes. His gaze soon softens into admiration as he takes in your entire appearance. “Wow,” he chokes, clearly impressed. “You look amazing.”
You feel a rush of warmth at his compliment and muster all your strength to keep from looking away flustered. “Thank you,” your voice wavers slightly. “You look pretty great yourself.”
Tongue in cheek, he replies with a playful smirk, “I was hoping you’d say that,” which prompts you to lightly punch him in the arm.
“Don't be arrogant.”
He chuckles, rubbing his arm with a grin. “Shall we head out?”
You nod and step outside, locking the door behind you.
The drive to the restaurant is a brief one, and you're immediately struck by the charm of its exterior when you arrive—stone walls, covered with vines of ivy and warm glowing lanterns. Inside is even more beautiful, with wooden shelves lined with old books and bottles of fine wine wrapping around the room. You're starting to understand why Taehyung was so insistent on bringing you here; the place perfectly reflects his taste and, unexpectedly, yours as well.
One of the hosts leads you to a deep mahogany table after confirming your reservation. The closer you get to it, the more you notice the crisp white linens and small tealight candles that sit on top, setting a romantic scene. If you had to describe the feeling, it would be as though you’ve been transported straight to a quaint corner of France.
"So, what do you think?” Seated across from you, Taehyung looks at you with bated breath. His fingers fidget with the edge of the table, nervously anticipating your verdict.
“Honestly? It’s so charming,” you reply, glancing around in awe. “I didn’t even realize we had a place like this around.”
At this, his demeanor relaxes, and a pleased smile spreads across his face. “It’s a bit hidden, but once I found it, it quickly became one of my favorite spots.” He pauses, then adds, “This is actually the same restaurant I wanted to take you to months ago, before my accident.”
“What? You’re serious?” you blink in shock as the realization slowly sinks in. You take another look around the restaurant—the rows of books, the bottles of wine, the elegant dining atmosphere—and suddenly, it all makes sense. How did you miss it before? “I’m sorry we didn’t come sooner,” you say softly, regretful of having turned down his offer before.
“It’s okay,” Taehyung's quick to reassure you, reaching out to lightly touch your hand. “What matters is that we’re here now. And honestly, I’m just happy to finally share it with you.” He gives you a warm smile, and immediately, you feel a small lump form in the back of your throat.
“Thank you for bringing us here tonight,” you say, “It’s wonderful, and I’m really glad we could make it up.”
“Of course,” he replies, “I thought it was a place we’d both enjoy.”
Everything about his responses seems to carry a heightened level of endearment and attentiveness, as if there’s more hidden beneath them.
Perhaps selfishly, you also sense there’s something uniquely special about this night—something you believe only exists between the two of you. So, when Taehyung retracts his hand, you feel a fleeting instinct to reach out and grasp it again, but you stop yourself short.
What are you thinking? This isn’t a date.
Needing a distraction, you grab the menu and start scanning the options.
Taehyung sees the way your gaze drifts and tilts his head, a concerned expression on his face. “Everything alright?” he asks gently.
You nod, forcing a smile. “Yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual. “I'm just getting pretty hungry with all the food I smell.”
He chuckles, "Same here," then picks up a menu of his own.
The two of you sit in silence for the next few minutes, fixated on the food and wine list. You find yourself stealing glances at him from time to time, and unbeknownst to you, he does the same.
After the waiter takes your orders, Taehyung leans forward, resting his chin on his palm. “How’s everything at work been? I’ve been meaning to ask.”
Your face lights up at this. “Highs and lows," you reply, voice brightening, "but we got some exciting news today. I met with a potential investor earlier this week, and they’ve agreed to partner with the company. It’s a big win for us!”
Sharing your enthusiasm, Taehyung raises his wine glass, implicating you to follow suit. “This calls for a toast,” he says. “I know it must have meant long nights for you, but I’m so glad they recognized the value of you and your work. Seriously, __, you should be incredibly proud of this!"
You clink your glass with his, a light chuckle escaping you. There's something uniquely satisfying about sharing even the smallest things with him.
The conversation flows more comfortably from there, with Taehyung eagerly asking about the details of your new partnership. You reciprocate by asking about his current work projects, and soon, you both get lost in discussion, naturally causing your conversation to grow increasingly spontaneous. By the time your food arrives, the two of you must have easily covered fifty topics.
With the evening gradually becoming one of the most enjoyable you’ve had, the initial butterflies you felt at the start almost fade away... almost. That is, until you near the end of the meal and Taehyung looks at you with a seriousness in his eyes.
“I’m really glad we could do this tonight," he says, "We’ve both been so caught up with work lately that we haven’t had much time to spend together… I’ve missed it."
"Missed..." The simple six-letter word echoes in the back of your mind in a hushed murmur. It feels nice knowing you aren’t the only one affected by the recent distance.
“Me too,” you reply, more breathy than intended. Before you can fully process your words, you find yourself adding, “I’ve missed you a lot myself.”
A flush of embarrassment twists in your stomach the moment the words leave your mouth. You shouldn’t have said it like that—it almost sounded like… pining? God, you can’t even blame it on the alcohol at this point; you barely had one full glass of wine. Contrary to what you'd expect, Taehyung looks at you with a hint of shyness.
“You know,” he begins, briefly eyeing your dress, “you really do look great tonight. I’ve been a bit worried these past couple of weeks, seeing how much you work and how little sleep you get. But now… I'm relieved to see you looking so well.”
You blush. If only he saw you before tonight—greasy hair, bloodshot eyes, and oversized sweats on, you think. Evidently, tonight was an exception.
"I guess I've been worried about you too if I’m being honest,” you admit, shifting slightly in your seat. "The last time we saw each other was at your family reunion. It feels like it was ages ago for some odd reason."
“I know what you mean,” he says softly, gaze lingering on yours a moment longer than usual. “It’s strange going so long without seeing each other. It feels…unnatural.”
All at once, you pause, unsure if you heard right. Did Taehyung really say "unnatural"? It’s exactly how you’ve felt about the distance this entire time, but you hadn’t expected him to feel the same. Your mind struggles to process the sheer coincidence and its possible implications—was there something more to your relationship than you had realized?
While you try to make sense of it all, Taehyung’s raspy voice pulls you back to the present. “Well, uh, we should probably head out,” he suggests lightly, breaking the silence. You nod in agreement, though it does little to deter you from your thoughts.
You find yourself fidgeting with the hem of your dress the entire drive back, occasionally glancing at Taehyung in silence. His hands grip the steering wheel tightly, eyes focused on the road, yet you could’ve sworn his mouth parted at one point as if he was about to say something. But then, he held back. You wonder what he might’ve wanted to say, but you’re no better—hesitant to breathe a word yourself.
Why are neither of you speaking all of a sudden? It feels tense and unfamiliar.
In what feels like a blink of an eye, you're standing at your front door again, Taehyung close beside you. The space between you feels smaller this time, with unspoken words still lingering, but it’s clear that despite having your keys in hand, neither of you are ready to part ways just yet.
“__?” He speaks first, voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes?” You respond, turning to face him fully.
Taehyung takes a deep breath when you do, his usual warmth replaced by a heavy, unreadable expression. “There- there's something that’s been on my mind,” he begins, voice trembling slightly. “I've been going back and forth tonight on whether or not to tell you."
“Okay, what is it?” you ask, pulse quickening.
“It’s about us..." He hesitates, gnawing on his bottom lip slightly before continuing. "Earlier tonight, when I said I've missed being able to see you, I wasn’t lying. If anything, it was likely an understatement because, no matter how busy I was, I kept thinking about you—our time at my parents' place, and how you always came to visit me when I was in the hospital."
He pauses, his fist clenching nervously.
"I’ve realized since then that maybe the reason why is because somehow…you've always been more than a friend to me,” he confesses softly.
Searching your face for a reaction, Taehyung mistakes your blank expression for discomfort. Little does he know, however, that your stillness is merely due to shock, as every nerve in your body threatens to awaken. It feels surreal, you think. Sure, you had a small inkling that tonight felt different and Taehyung was sweeter than usual, but eighty percent of you chalked it up as nothing more than overthinking or projection.
Now, you realize how short-sighted you’ve been, convincing yourself that you could only ever be friends and denying the rest when it's been quite the opposite.
“I’m sorry," he adds sheepishly. "It must be a lot to take in. I don’t want to lose you or our friendship, but with my feelings growing, I think I’ll always want more. I thought it would be better for you to know.”
You see the sincerity in his eyes as he speaks, and though he patiently waits for your response, you’re unsure where to start. It’s not that you question Taehyung’s genuineness or intentions, or that you don’t reciprocate his feelings—you haven’t shared such a deep connection with someone in a long time, if ever.
Rather, it’s the years of a mostly apathetic marriage that leave you feeling wary.
What would a relationship with Taehyung be like?
Would you truly love each other?
For how long?
What startles you most is the possibility that if you and Taehyung really do this and it doesn’t work out, you’ll be left even more devastated than before.
When you finally speak, your voice wavers slightly. “To tell you the truth, a big part of me is relieved that you told me all of this,” you admit slowly, your hands clammy. “I thought I sensed a shift between us at your parents' and again this evening. But I also thought I was reading too much into things, convinced it was just us getting closer as friends do."
"I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was wrong because I've been wanting more with you too," you continue. "It's like the further away we are, the worse I seem to feel, and I can't help but wonder what it would look like if we were more than friends. The thought scares me as much as it excites me, though…for reasons I'm sure you already know."
You're uneasy about how he'll react until, all at once, his eyes fill with warmth and his hands gently reach for yours, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on the backs.
“Do you remember when we were at the beach and you asked who’d risk it for you?” Taehyung asks. You nod, recalling the exact moment. “You also asked if I loved you, and I agreed to both that day. I didn’t realize how much those words would come full circle, but I meant it then, and I mean it now. I will love you, __, in the way you've always meant to be. I'm pretty sure I'm at least halfway in love with you already, and not just because we're friends."
Wordless, you stand facing each other, your hands still held in his, eyes steady in the brisk night air. His gaze then drifts from your eyes to your lips and back again. The movement is subtle, but in that brief moment, you let your eyes fall to his lips as well.
Taehyung’s waiting for your answer, but you can’t stop thinking of what would happen if you just…
Adrenaline takes over from there, and before you fully process it, you’re leaning in to close the distance between you, pressing your lips to his. The sudden touch catches Taehyung off guard, but he quickly responds with gentle, tender kisses. A soft smile tugs at his lips as he deepens the embrace, one hand finding its way to your face while the other rests on your back, pulling you closer.
Sooner than you realize, he begins deepening the kiss as well, eliciting small, breathy moans. At this point, you can feel the tent forming in his trousers, but he makes no move to grind into you yet. Rather, the hands that grip around you tighten, not enough to hurt, but enough that your body pushes further against his firmer chest. You suspect your back will meet the hard surface of your front door within the next three seconds, allowing your entire neighborhood a show, but before then, you're interrupted by a subtle stirring in the pit of your stomach.
"Wait, I'm sorry-" you suddenly break the kiss, a rush of nerves returning. It’s been a long time since you’ve shared such meaningful kisses with someone, and the intensity of it has you feeling overwhelmed. "I'm so sorry," you repeat.
When Taehyung sees you aren’t backing away but rather standing completely still, he settles his hands around your waist, gently drawing you further into a soft embrace. "You don't need to apologize," he assures. "I'm the one who took it further than I should've when I want this to be comfortable for both of us.”
You take a small breath, "You didn't do anything wrong, Tae, I'm just a little nervous due the newness of everything. I think I’d be best if we wait before going any further tonight….but I’m also not ready for you to leave yet. Is there any way you could maybe come in for a bit? To lounge?”
Taehyung nods, “I completely understand wanting to wait. The last thing I want to do is rush anything.” Concerned about possibly pressuring you, he adds, "Are you sure about me coming in though? It's getting late and I don't want to keep you up."
"Please," you murmur, "just for a little while, if you can.”
“Okay," he agrees, thumbs brushing lightly against your sides, "I can stay."
Tumblr media
a/n: ajdfhg, TYSM for reading!! Love you all 🥰
Tags:
@jksjx @lovingkoalaface @junecat18 @babystarcandyjk97 @wobblewobble822 @a-gayish-unicorn @neverthefirstchoice @whipwhoops @hubbytaehyung @jalexad @cassies-cookies @llallaaa @marshieeeemallow @baechugff @lovemazespluto @eegyo @iwanttobecalledaurora @harmonyflora @francheskarm34 @sftlrmin @saba-ya @11thenightwemet11 @yoursnixni @zafirowwa2909 @btsffreader92 @junniesoleilkth @iamcamlb @bangctans @lilliankoo @talyaaas-blog @blackswan18 @appleh4ad @hoseokteardrop @613tannies @whoa-jo @borahaeb1ch @getougf @chimmisbae @kookcobain @miniekookiegucci @purplelanterns @inthemiddleofsomething22-blog @darkuni63 @bibimboppin19 @phanniefoo @chieftoadturkeynickel @existenciosa @dasommwa @minayas1998 @sumzysworld @pwd54gr54 @jellycake2109 @sigxx123 @00frenchfries00 @importantperfectionmiracle @stigma93 @lpgirl2324 @youremyjinearth @moonups-stuff @bubblyyz @hvnnibvni @ttanniett @rintarhoes00 @rrosiitas @kooklovee @parkweylyn @secfir @urlovelily @iknowhistouch3 @nadzzzblog @itsmina29 @mochibites00 @syazzzlisa @ash07128 @kawennote09 @merrygo14 @butterymin @cybercheesygurl @juju-227592 @lesiacapouille @kissyfacekoo @jk97bam @soblvkgal @seokout @girlywhoops @soblvkgal
Masterlist | Requests: closed | Taglist | Fic Recs
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
533 notes · View notes
beguines · 9 days
Text
Today, strawberries have replaced much of the citrus and olive trees in the strip, and despite the relatively small area of farmland used for this sector, it enjoys high economic and social value. In all of the ways that citrus cultivation has been targeted, strawberries seem designed to survive Israel's eco-colonial practices. Strawberries are able to survive on partially saline water, they have faster production cycles, are easier to cultivate and replant after destruction and uprooting, are more mobile after moments of displacement, require less space and distance between each planted crop, and enable farmers in Gaza's northern peripheries and along the buffer zones to remain visible to the observing Israeli occupation forces. As a crop with limited historical roots in the country, it adapts well and is highly versatile. The use of compost for the cultivation of strawberries enables significant increase in fruit productivity, saving Gazan farmers the use of precious water supplies and decreasing its need for the use of fertilizers.
Despite this, the conditions of Gaza's ongoing colonial isolation and erasure make it increasingly impossible for farmers to sustain their livelihoods off of the land, even with strawberry production. In today's Gaza, as the agricultural export industry is fully reliant on the Israeli permit system, strawberries are slowly being replaced with other low-growing, fast-yielding, cost-effective and high-demand fruits and vegetables. Indeed, as a colleague at the Union of Agricultural Work Committees, the largest agricultural development institution in Palestine, told me during my time in Gaza, the most recent crop to slowly begin its replacement of strawberries in this line of forced colonial transition is pineapple—with the first pineapple farm planted in Khan Younes in 2017.
Examining the conditions that make strawberry production more practical and fuel the transition from citrus production requires examining the ongoing Israeli colonization of natural resources that supplant and suppress traditional modes of relating to nature. Witnesses of Israeli neo-colonial violence, the disappearing orchards in Gaza mark its new disconnected reality. The transition from the orange to the strawberry—and perhaps later to pineapple—is more than a shift in markets and produce. They affect the history and identity of Palestinians in Gaza. The links between cultivation and national or communal identity are well-known and documented in other contexts, including their intersection with colonial nation-branding. But in the context of aggressive climate change the instabilities, tensions, and erasures that come with transitions in vegetation are growing increasingly stark. For example, in the case of the Swiss canton of Valais, global heating has resulted in the growth of cacti, Opuntia, that are proliferating on the mountainsides of the canton, encroaching on natural reserves and causing a biodiversity threat. Used to "seeing their mountainsides covered with snow in winter and edelweiss flowers in summer" warmer and drier temperatures have given way to what is named in media coverage as an "invasive species colonizing the slopes." Launching an uprooting campaign in 2022, the press release stressed that "this invasive and non-native plant is not welcome in the perimeter of prairies and dry pastures of national importance." Evidently the discourse mobilized is dominated by aggressive language of aliens and invasion, which contributes to the use of violent and war-like metaphors to push for pre-emptive and combative control. In the Gazan case, the transition, as well as local responses to it, are less pronounced and weeded through long-term colonial policies imposed by the occupation. That said, the transition to strawberry cultivation nevertheless carries a similar ecological, cultural, and socio-political impact. In place of the orange, the strawberry is surfacing as the symbol of Gaza, redrawing the boundaries of the identity of its besieged inhabitants. Whereas in the past the orange was a continuous link between Gaza and the rest of historic Palestine, with deep generational roots and a symbol of steadfast and continuous presence, the abrupt transition from oranges to strawberries distances Gaza from the constructed identity and vegetal knowledge production of Palestinian farmers elsewhere. Put differently, this symbolic and political transition at the level of fruit production can be seen as another mechanism through which Israeli neo-colonial violence reifies Gaza as an enclave: divided and partitioned from the rest of Palestine.
Shourideh C. Molavi, Environmental Warfare in Gaza: Colonial Violence and New Landscapes of Resistance
286 notes · View notes
lunar-vvitch · 2 years
Text
Today, Caitlin Doughty of the Ask a Mortician YouTube channel posted a video discussing the fact that her recent video, a long form documentary style video on the 1915 disaster of the SS Eastland in Chicago, the story of which has largely been forgotten, was given a community guidelines violation. It did not violate the guidelines YouTube has claimed it did, or any guidelines. But the video was essentially shadow banned. Caitlin is, of course, a mortician, and also a death-postive advocate and educator. Her entire channel is about education and honest discussion of death. The SS Eastland video was the product of months of work by her and her team in collaboration with historians and relatives of victims of the Eastland. An educational documentary that had the sole purpose bringing light to a forgotten tragedy and remembering the victims has been hidden away from all but those who know right where to look for it. The video is below, please watch it and share so this story isn't forgotten.
"A massive ship, an unthinkable tragedy, a chance to make sure the victims of the SS Eastland aren't lost to time."
Edit: the embedded video won't play because it's been age restricted :| of course. here's the link: https://youtu.be/UCHt2MOVCbg
youtube
10K notes · View notes
foone · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
You know what I hate about modern mice? how pointlessly anti-repair they are. I have had plenty of mice break over time, and often it's just that some fluff or skin-flakes got wedged in the mouse wheel or under the buttons. You just need to open them up and clean them. Except.. where are the screws?
Tumblr media
OH THERE THEY ARE. under the little skid-pads, which cannot be put back on once you take them off, because the adhesive has been ruined! You have to buy replacement pads, if they're available, and maybe cut them down to size, as well as clean off the residue of the previous pads.
You know how this problem could be fixed? JUST DON'T PUT THE PADS ON TOP OF THE SCREWS!
Then you'd have no problem. Easy to disassemble and clean.
But then it'd look 5% uglier because apparently people are scared of seeing screws, and also people might not just throw it out and buy a new one!
It's the terrible sort of weird planned obsolescence that happens as an almost accidental side effect of improving the product. Like, ball mice? They were designed to be disassembled. You didn't even need a screwdriver! Because you had to clean them regularly, or they'd gunk up too fast. Modern optical mice? They still get gunked up, the buttons and wheel still die eventually. They can be cleaned and repaired. But now that it's not required for all of them to be cleaned regularly, that function has been removed. they're designed to be disposable.
The same thing happened with TVs way back when. If you open up a TV from the 50s (or just look at the back, honestly, many of them were designed to be always-open), you'll find a schematic showing where all the tubes are and what models they are. Was this because the 1950s was a golden era of reparability? NO! it's because they burnt out all the time and you had to replace them! As soon as TVs got reliable enough that replacing tubes was no longer needed, the schematics became hidden behind paywalls and for authorized-service-personnel-only.
It would be only a minor change in aesthetics to make your mouse repairable/cleanable. Hell, most of the time when it's not simply fixed by cleaning it, it's because one of these broke:
Tumblr media
This is an Omron D2FC-F-7N microswitch, used in a bunch of mice. It's designed to last about a million clicks. With a soldering iron and some solder (like 25$ on amazon) you can trivially replace it. New switches cost between like 10 cents and 2 dollars, depending where you buy it and how many you want. A couple bucks of parts and half an hour's worth of work, you can repair a 40$ mouse that's "died".
But they make it unnecessarily hard with the slide-pads being unreplacable. You have to find ones that match, you have to carefully clean off the old residue with IPA, or the new ones you just bought will fall off. All to make it look SLIGHTLY better (how often are you looking at the aesthetics of the bottom of your mouse, exactly? (no furries are allowed to answer this question!)) and maybe, just maybe, to push it over into "not worth it". You could do all that, but you have to buy new switches, new slide-pads/mouse-feet (SHUT UP FURRIES), and can you remember where your solder even is? you last used it when you were trying to fix that keyboard...
Basically one thing that is maddening to anyone with the very basics of electronic knowledge (seriously: the amount of skill you need for this is the kind you can get in less than an hour from watching a youtube tutorial) that we're surrounded by all this electrical nonsense that will break and have to be thrown out, but is mostly breaking in ways that could be fixed in a very short amount of time with relatively little work.
It's infuriating to go on amazon to buy another damn mouse and it pop up "hey you last bought this in 2021, you fool" and you're like I KNOW, IT SHOULD STILL BE WORKING TODAY!
I have computer parts from the 80s in my room right now that are still working when stuff made in the last 5 years is already dying! There's no reason it should be this way. It's an endless waste of time and money and resources and it's just to make some logitech or whoever executives slightly richer.
It's deeply bullshit. The modern day is going to be identifiable as the geological layer where most of the trash was generated. We're living in the middle of the quisquiliarumferous period: the layer of garbage.
3K notes · View notes
nyashykyunnie · 2 months
Text
˗ˏˋ Jealous! Lovesick! Jinwoo x Fem! Reader ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
・┆✦ Entry : 042 ✦ ┆・
Tumblr media
╰┈➤ ❝ [ You really wanna do this?] ¡! ❞
Hunting had always been a dangerous job, but in your eyes? it's better than an average 9-5 job. You were never really the type to be locked in a simple place. You loved getting into gates just because they inspire you for your next creative projects— Minus the fact hat you have to help transport heavy mana crystals.
Better than nothing, it pays a lot and you get to spoil yourself with things you could only dream of as a child.
As the day comes into a close, your boss hands you your pay for the day and sends you off.
With the heavy envelope in your hands, you cheer happily and rush home where you can shower and dress properly
Despite the fact you're a weak hunter, you still can't help but dress prettily. You were sweating like a pig earlier, and now that you're clean and fresh you're wearing a frilly dress and a cardigan over your shoulders.
After making sure you're looking okay, it's off to the outside world you go.
Your childhood teddy bear made a comeback and you decided you wanted to buy the new big size for it.
The streets of seoul were so alive and crowded, but thankfully the air was extremely refreshing.
When the store finally came into view, you immediately jumped in excitement and dashed inside to where the shelf of the teddy bear was.
The yellow bear was given bigger sizes, and the one you picked is almost as big as your upper torso.
Are you complaining? No of course not! The reason why you worked so hard today is because you wanted this bear specifically.
After fangirling for a bit, you clear your throat and make your way to the cashier where the lady smiles at you politely and scanned the code.
Before you can even reach for your wallet to pay— A hand behind you shot up and offered the cashier a black card.
"I'll pay for the bear," The familiar, handsome voice says. "Please."
"Jinwoo!" You squeak, turning your head to see Jinwoo's familiar face who just threw you a charming smile.
"I told you that if you wanted something, just text me." Jinwoo says, ignoring the cashier who was clearly trembling and out of her wits as Jinwoo tapped his card on the scanner. "Is that so hard to obey, hm?"
"...How did you even find me" You pout.
"You wont shut up about the doll last night and I just so happen to know there's a plushie store nearby your apartment." Jinwoo ruffles your head, just as he always did ever since you two were little. "Come on, quit being a pouty little thing and walk with me"
Jinwoo takes your heavy plushie in his arm, taking your wrist with the other and guided you out of the store.
"H-hey, where are we even going?" You whine, but ultimately just gave in and followed behind Jinwoo.
The two of you walked for a while and eventually reached a relatively peaceful park.
Jinwoo starts chatting you up, asking about your day and how work went. And in turn, he told you about how boring his day is.
Yeah, must be nice to be a powerful hunter now, huh? Everything is relatively nboring for Jinwoo now because it's just so easy now.
"Stay here, I'll get us something to drink." Jinwoo says, handing the plushie to you.
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪
Jinwoo went to a nearby cornerstore, slightly humming to himself as he starts picking up a few snacks and drinks.
His mind was stuck on you, he is supposed to be doing something productive for today. But after Jinho heard that he was craving o visit you, the boy's face beamed immediately and pushed Jinwoo out of the ahjin guild— Practically kicking out of the building he owns himself and be off.
What was going on in Jinho's head at the time? He can never really know.
But he is thankful anyway, he had always been quite fond of you. Jinwoo has long since had a crush on you, but never once tried to court you. You two grew up together after all.
You probably think of him as your older brother figure.
While him?
Oh Darling,...
When he's with you, the grey skies would turn blue and brilliant. The air would feel even more fresh and lovely. Everything around you would suddenly be seen through rose-colored lenses.
Just as long as you were there, everything was beautiful.
He wanted to give you the world, he wanted to protect you, only him.
You were Jinwoo's salvation.
So long as you are there for him, he'll always come out as the strongest.
Everything is much bearable as long as he knows he would come back to earth greeted by your lovely smile and affections.
Jinwoo wanted nothing more than to protect your precious smile, make sure that tears won't ever threaten to touch that lovely and pretty smile of yours.
What is it that you want? Just tell him and it shall be yours.
Why would you be denied of your own happiness anyway? As long as he is there, you'll never be unhappy. You wont ever be sad.
He will make sure of that.
"..."
Jinwoo pauses in his tracks towards you, his grey eyes turning lilac immediately as he sees you chatting up another man.
He saw that person before in the eyes of his soldiers whom he placed in you. He was one of your colleagues who is acting a little too close with you sometimes.
That bastard is always hovering around you and was icking Jinwoo as of late.
And to dare even appear now when he is having his alone time with you?
Jinwoo's gaze hardened even more when the bastard tried reaching his hand up towards your face.
"Hey," Jinwoo's voice interrupts, immediately startling both you and the man into stopping what he was doing.
He fakes a polite smile, approaching with confident strides, "Ah, a coworker?"
"Mhm, he was passing by and decdied to greet me!" You cheer happily, failing to notice the ever slightly flicker of lilac in Jinwoo's grey eyes.
"Is that so?" Jinwoo hums, giving you the snacks and drink he bought you before reaching his hand up to offer it to the man. "I'm Jinwoo, her friend."
"J-Jinwoo?" The man paled as he shakily accepted his offerm and winced lightly when he felt Jinwoo's tight grip. "U-uhm..."
It was only a small squeeze, really, not enough to break his finger. No, not just yet.
Jinwoo's grey eyes would flicker into a different color, not that you can see so he isn't too worried. He was directly gazing at the man, his stare direct and straightforward.
It was a silent statement to back off.
A silent exchange between men, really.
That should be enough, right?
Jinwoo lets go of his hand and the bastard excuses himself, saying he needs to help his mom back home.
"You were smiling at him," Jinwoo says once the person was far away, his grey eyes coming back as it gazes upon your shorter stature beside him.
"Should I be grumpy then?"
"Pfft," He rolls his eyes, tapping on your nose lightly. "And what if I wanted you to?"
"Hahah, knock it off!" You lightly smack his hand away, making Jinwoo just shake his head in return.
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪
Jinwoo thought he already warned the bastard enough, wasn't that handshake enough?
he was just checking in on you really, when his shadows picked up the distant conversation of your coworkers saying that the same man should just start making a move on you.
He hasn't been hiding that foolish lovestruck look on his face after all.
Why waste any more time.
"Hahah..." The bastard sheepishly chuckles, scratching his cheek. "I'll ask her out in a bit"
A pit in Jinwoo's stomach dropped, and it wasn't a pleasant one. He was never the jealous type of person anymore after all. After becoming the shadow monarch and getting whatever he desired back then, he stopped yearning for unnecessary thing in exception for you whom he has been pining for forever.
Unlike his little jealousy back then, right now it's as blazing as the fires of hell. He was mad.
It's an unpleasant thing he is feeling.
That man? Really?
What can he do for you?
Fuck around and all?
He doesn't even look like he is willing to move mountains for you.
And if a monster suddenly appears what then? Will that vastard throw himself head first to guarantee your safety?
Can he ever even spoil you?
Will he stay loyal and never break your heart?
Will he never dare to look at another woman once he's yours?
Will he ever make sure you never cry?
It's making Jinwoo's head spin.
And before the bastard can even get your attention— He disappeared.
"..." Jinwoo's eyes would turn purple again, tapping his finger on his throne's arm as the man appeared before he completely startled.
"Wasn't my warning enough?"
"Hunter Sung?" The man trembles, collpasing on the floor as Jinwoo suddenly rose from his seating and approached. "Wait! I-I can explain!!"
"Explain what?" He snarled, his gaze completely cold and ruthless. "That you just attempted to make a move on my girl behind my back? I already shook your hand, wasn't that enough?"
"Please!" He begs, completely scared and about to piss himslef as Jinwoo wrapped his hand around his neck and lifted him up. "Hunter Sung, please!"
"I could kill you right now," Jinwoo tilts his head a bit, his blank look completely deranged. "Or maybe lock you up here in the land of eternal death, torture you, break your your mind, tear you limb by limb and put you back together,... Do you think I can't do any of this?"
"I-I'll stay away!" He cries out, "I-I have a family, my mom!..."
Jinwoo drops him, wiping his hand with a handkerchief as the bastard gasps for air.
"I-I wont touch her! N-no, I'll resign and find another job!" He begs. "Please, please don—"
"No need." Jinwoo scoffs. "Getting jobs these days is hard. If your mom needs you then keep the job,"
"But!—"
"Do you want me to change my mind?"
"No sir!"
Jinwoo gritted his teeth, if it weren;t for the fact this guy had his mom he would have kept him here. Instead, he just waved his hand and the bastard disappeared right before him.
He pace back and forth on the throne room for a while, taking a breather, trying to calm down. Nibbling on his nail even as he just felt so restless and pissed with no way of calming down.
Calming down?
Jinwoo fishes out his phone, it's 6:30 and you probably have clocked out by now.
He gets out of his domain and waited for you in the usual spot he wait in when you finish your shift.
"Jinwoo!" The sound of your voice echoes in his mind when you called out to him. "How come you're here?"
"I was bored" He lies, simply grinning. "Come."
"But I'm sweaty and icky!" You complain.
"Just for a bit, yeah?" He insists, and you in turn only pout.
"Alright, what is it?" You cross your arms.
"Free tomorrow?" He simply says.
"Well, yeah, I don't have a shift" You say. "how come?"
"I'm asking you out, duh" Jinwoo chuckles.
There was silence at first as you tried processing his words.
"Are you serious?" You blurt out, your face turning completely pink.
"Have I ever lied to you, hm?" He muses, leaning down to meet you at eye level.
"N-No, but... I mean..." You fidget, playing with your fingers. "You're an S-ranker.. And I'm... Well."
"I'm Jinwoo, jagiya" He simply says, making you look up at him.
And in those grey eyes is a tender and loving gaze, in those eyes you see that he is silently asking you to not look at him as the most sought after hunter. Not the most powerful man ever to live, not the man who turned his situation from helpless to this, not the man who was always mocked and now basks in the spotlight of fame and wealth— He was asking you to see him as a man who is courting you.
"Yes, you're..." You smile softly and leaned up with your tippy-toes, kissing his cheek gently. "My Jinwoo."
Tumblr media
꒰ 🪼 A/N: When I tell you Ilove my monarch so much you don't understand. Jagiya can mean either= Honey or Baby heheh. I love him so much pls I wanna cri. Let me kiss him silly. And btw I'm no longer making the moodboard things because they're tiring and I don't wanna run out of photos to use! I hope u understand ueueueu!!! The Jinwoo cai requests will be up tomorrow that is a promise ꒱
Tumblr media
ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .。✧・゚: ~♡ — All stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.
339 notes · View notes
literaryvein-reblogs · 2 months
Text
A Writing Refresher: Basic Grammatical Terms
Adjective: A word which qualifies or modifies the meaning of a noun; as in a 'red hat' or a 'quick fox'. They can be used to complement the verbs 'to be' or 'to seem' ('Sue seems happy today'). Adjectives are sometimes formed from nouns or verbs by the addition of a suffix such as '-able' (lovable), '-ful' (heedful), '-ic' (heroic), '-ish' (foolish), '-ive' (combative), '-ous' (famous), or '-y' (needy).
Adverb: A word which qualifies or adds to the action of a verb: as in 'he ran quickly', or 'he ran fast'. Adverbs can also qualify adjectives, as in 'the grass is intensely green'. They are usually formed by adding '-ly' to an adjective: 'playfully', 'combatively', 'foolishly'. They can also sometimes be formed by the addition of '-wise' to a noun ('the hands went round clockwise).
Clause: The word is often used but very hard to define. It is a sentence or sentence-like construction included within another sentence. A main clause might be a simple noun plus verb ('I did it'). A co-ordinate clause is of equal status with the main clause: 'I did it and she did it at the same time.' A subordinate clause might be nested within a sentence using the conjunction 'that': 'he said that the world was flat.' Here 'he said' is the main clause and the subordinate clause is 'the world was flat'. Relative clauses are usually introduced by a relative pronoun: 'I read the book which was falling to pieces'; 'She spoke to the man who was standing at the bar.'
Conjunction: A word used to connect words or constructions. Co-ordinating conjunctions such as 'and', and 'but' link together elements of equal importance in a sentence ('Fish and chips' are of equal importance). Subordinating conjunctions such as 'because', 'if', 'although', connect a subordinate clause to its superordinate clause ('We will do it if you insist'; 'We did it because he insisted).
Noun: A word used as the name or designation of a person or thing, such as 'duck' or 'river'. Abstract nouns denote abstract properties, such as 'invisibility', 'gentleness'. Proper nouns are nouns that designate one thing, as, for example, personal names.
Object: Usually the thing to which the action of a verb is done. More technically a substantive word, phrase, or clause, immediately dependent on, or ‘governed by’, a verb, as expressing, in the case of a verb of action, the person or thing to which the action is directed, or on which it is exerted; that which receives the action of the verb. So 'the man patted the dog', 'the woman was reading the book'. An indirect object of a verb denotes that which is indirectly affected by an action, but wihch is not the immediate product of it, as ‘Give him the book’, ‘Make me a coat’.
Participle: a word derived from a verb which functions like an adjective, as in 'let sleeping dogs lie'. More technically 'A word that partakes of the nature of a verb and an adjective; a derivative of a verb which has the function and construction of an adjective (qualifying a noun), while retaining some of those of the verb'. Present participles usually end in '-ing' and usually describe an action which is going on at the same time as the verb: so in the sentence '"Go and play on your own street," she said, kicking the ball', the saying and the kicking are simultaneous. Past participles usually end in '-ed' or '-en' ('the door was kicked in'; 'the door was broken'). They are used in two main ways: combined with the verb 'have' they form a past or 'perfect' tense (so called because it describes an action which has been completed or 'perfected'), as in 'I have smashed the plate'. Past participles can also be used in passive constructions (which describe what was done to something rather than what something did), as in 'the plate was smashed'.
Preposition: A part of speech which indicates a connection, between two other parts of speech, such as 'to', 'with', 'by' or 'from'. 'She came from China', 'He gave the chocolates to me'.
Pronoun: A part of speech which stands for a noun: 'he', 'she', 'him', 'her', 'them'. Possessive pronouns express ownership ('his', 'hers'). Reflexive pronouns are 'herself', 'himself', 'myself' and are used either for emphasis (he did it all himself'), or when an action reflects back on the agent who performs it ('he shot himself in the foot'). Relative pronouns include 'who', 'which', 'that' and are usually used in the form 'he rebuked the reader who had sung in the library'. Interrogative pronouns ask questions ('Who stole the pie?'; 'Which pie?'). Indefinite pronouns do not specify a particular person or thing: 'Anyone who studies grammar must be mad.' 'Somebody has to know about this stuff.'
Sentence: This is a term which professional linguists still find impossible to define adequately. It is usually supposed to be 'A sequence of words which makes complete sense, containing subject, object and main verb, and concluded by a full-stop'.
Subject: Usually the person or thing who is performing the action of a verb. More technically the grammatical subject is the part of a sentence of which an action is predicated: 'the man patted the dog'. It can be a single noun, or it can been a complex clause: 'the bald man who had just picked up the ball gave it to the dog.'
Syntax (Greek 'together arrangement'): a term designating the way in which words can be arranged and modified to construct sentences. Writers characteristically use syntactic sub-ordination when they aim for a highly formal effect, and syntactic co-ordination when they aim for a simpler, more straight-forward effect.
Verb: Usually a word which describes an action (such as 'he reads poems', 'she excels at cricket'). More technically 'That part of speech by which an assertion is made, or which serves to connect a subject with a predicate.' This technical definition includes the most frequent verb in the language: the verb 'to be' which can be used to connect a 'subject', such as 'he', with a 'predicate', such as 'good at hockey'. There are verbs which take an object ('he raps the desk'), which are called transitive verbs. Other verbs do not, and are termed intransitive verbs ('I sit, he lives'). Some verbs can be used either transitively or intransitively: 'I sing' is an intransitive usage; 'Paul McCartney sings "God save the Queen"' is a transitive usage. The main verb is the verb on which the structure of the sentence depends, and without which the sentence would not make any sense. In the following sentence the verb 'fell' is the main verb: 'The boy, who had run too quickly, fell'.
193 notes · View notes
charliemwrites · 9 months
Text
Part 4 of Nikto’s commandments
Content: Sexual Desire, Dissociation, Depersonalization, Codependency, Acts of Service, Masturbation
Tumblr media
You moan his name sometimes in your sleep.
Usually just before you wake up, panting and overheated, shooting wide-eyed glances his way. Lying to you would be a sin beyond redemption so he always lets you know that he’s awake. You often apologize, sometimes you assure him you’re alright. It takes him a while to identify the look in your eyes those nights — he was unfamiliar with it even before: guilt.
You feel guilty.
Puzzling out the why of that takes longer still. You’re a mystery to him, ineffable. The way god is supposed to be. Unlike the Christian one, you almost always have a purpose behind what you do, and you’ll answer Nikto whenever he dares to ask. (He’s not going to ask about this.)
He first thought that you were calling for his help in dreamt pain. That your blown out pupils, trembling hands, and flushed face were products of fear and imagined torture.
But then you started to lean into his neck in your sleep, making soft, high noises. Would press your ass into the cradle of his hips, grind against his thigh. Alien as his body is to him now, he can recognize emotion in others. Lust, desire.
Coming to terms that you feel these things for him has been another challenge altogether. (But you are a loving god, a compassionate keeper. The sweetness and mercy and nobility found in the viscera of his world. If there is anything of him worth wanting, you would find it.) If you are attracted to this… vessel he inhabits, who is he to question you?
The guilt, though. That he is still puzzling out.
If anyone should feel guilt, it is him (though he doesn’t, isn’t even sure if he can). Now that you’ve made him more aware of his body, of his desires, there’s a constant buzz of arousal in his blood. For you. He craves you constantly. Your touch, your voice, your scent in his nose. He could suffocate on you.
It’s selfish, it’s sinful. To desire anything of you when you have given him everything and asked for nothing in return. Not even his loyalty, freely given. It is why he could not say yes when you offered to slake his desire; it would have been akin to blasphemy.
Unless.
Unless you have asked something of him.
“Whoa!” A giggle as you tilt your head back to him, amused and curious. “What was that for?”
He feels wooden as he glances down at you. His arm is around your waist, nearly crushing you to him. Hadn’t even realized he moved. You don’t seem to mind, palms light on his forearm. Still looking to him.
He does not answer. Can’t find the words past the panic clawing at his throat. Lets you go slowly, finger by finger. You don’t step away once free.
You say something else. Something about rain maybe? He’s too busy staring at the deft hands you cup around your mouth.
How soft and gentle they are on his skin, skipping over the worst scars. The first thing you always do is touch him. When he’s out of a shower, just changed, climbing into bed, waking up. You reach for him, as if you can’t bear to be parted with the same intensity he feels.
Do you crave to touch him in other ways? Has he denied you, unwitting as it may have been?
It would be one thing to ask anything of you, especially for his own sake. But to give you something… even if it’s such an unworthy offering as himself…
“Nikto?”
His eyes flick down to yours. You smile at him, point at your own temple.
“Busy up there today, huh?” It’s not even a tease, but he feels as if he’s made another misstep.
“Sorry.”
You shake your head, bump your shoulder into his arm. “I’m just checking that you’re alright.”
“Alright” being relative. He objectively understands that he is broken and damaged. That he does not operate at full capacity all — or even most — of the time.
But with your help he’s established a baseline, a “normal.” Something to measure his body, and more importantly his damaged mind by.
“I am… alright,” he decides finally. “Just thinking.”
“Okay,” you answer, easy as that. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen — but you don’t have to.”
You don’t have to is your favorite thing to say to him. He would laugh if he remembered how.
He grunts an affirmative and follows you to wherever you’re headed next.
That night, your ankle is hurting. Nothing serious, you assure Nikto. Just rolled it a bit. You promise it just needs rest, low level painkillers, and a bit of elevation.
Nikto is unpracticed at care. For all he practically lives in your pocket, medical care is unusual for you. He spends so much time keeping you safe, protected, alive and unharmed. He has little direction when it comes to your discomfort.
Luckily, you provide direction in spades.
“Two pills from the bottle with the red cap and a glass of water please.”
His cock twitches hard. Fills out almost dizzyingly fast in the confines of his tac pants.
He fetches both for you, holding each in turn as you pluck the pills from his hand and sip the water. You sigh gratefully and tell him to set the glass on the nightstand. Another bolt of pleasure to obey, while you like droplets from your bottom lip.
“Can you grab my computer and the charger? I want to watch something before bed.”
He brings them, stands waiting while you fiddle with it. Waiting for another request. He’s achingly hard now. Throbbing in his underwear.
“Oh! Hairbrush too, please?”
When he hands it to you this time, hand almost to the point of shaking, you give him a sheepish smile.
“I’m sorry, I keep making you run around.”
“Don’t be.” His voice is gruff, but it so often is that you don’t seem to find anything amiss. “More?”
“Ah… well, if it’s not too much trouble, could you grab the extra blanket? It’s cold tonight.”
He tries to pace himself. To balance the pleasure of obeying against the speed of completing the task. You hum in delight as he drapes it over you — a fluffy monstrosity of a thing. Utterly decadent, he’d never even entertain the idea of having one. But you deserve a dozen of them if you wanted them. He’d retrieve them now for you if only you asked.
(He wishes you would ask.)
He is harder than he ever remembers being. (Granted, there are many gaps in his memory, even now. But there is enough there to know this is true.)
“Okay that should be the last thing for a bit.” You’re looking away and don’t see the minute deflation of his shoulders. He’s nearly panting. “Come snuggle in?”
“In a moment,” he says, surprising himself. You seem a bit (pleasantly) surprised too. He’s never denied you anything for even a moment. But if he sits next to you now…
“Ah, gotcha,” you say when he turns for the bathroom.
You start playing whatever tv show you have queued up to offer him privacy. He closes the door after himself and for the first time since regaining his freedom, takes himself in hand.
Tumblr media
First | Previous | Next
Masterlist
971 notes · View notes
flanaganfilm · 6 months
Note
howdy!! do you rewatch your own work? if so, how often? im wondering if it has the same "artist just sees faults with what they create" thing, or if youre able to appreciate past projects the way they deserve
I don't, typically... usually, by the time we're finished with post production, I've seen the thing so many times that I'm thrilled to stop watching it. I'm either sick of it, or just feeling like it doesn't belong to me anymore. There are other reasons, too - Hill House was a traumatic production for me, for example, I have a lot of complicated emotions woven into it, so I haven't felt ready to rewatch that one since before it aired. Maybe in a few more years.
Somewhat recently, I've revisited a few of the older movies with my eldest son, who is 13 now. He's basically as old as my career itself. We've watched Oculus, Hush, The Midnight Club (which he LOVED, proving it worked for our target audience) and Ouija: OOE together, and each of those screenings was a really cool experience. His reactions and questions were really fascinating, and I felt like I was able to see those movies anew through his eyes. That's the closest I've come to feeling like I was really seeing them, and that's only because so much time has gone by for those. I watched the Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep a few years back at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park Colorado. It was part of a live NoSleep Podcast event, and that was the first time I'd seen that movie since it was released. It was also the first and only time I'd ever seen the Director's Cut with an audience. That was a really special screening and it meant a lot to me.
I haven't yet had the guts to revisit any of the TV series other than Midnight Club. As my kids get older, I'm sure I'll watch them all with them. The one I'm most excited to see is Midnight Mass, which remains my favorite of the shows. I haven't seen it since before it came out - I remember the last day of post on that show, watching down each episode with final mix and color. That's a series I wish I could actually watch like a viewer at home, and while I'll never truly be able to do that, I look forward to looking at it with some real distance.
There are a few of the older projects I'd be curious to watch now. I wonder how Absentia holds up - I was such a baby when we made that movie, and it's been so long. I imagine I could watch that today and have a really trippy experience. I also haven't revisited Before I Wake in a very long time, and I always really loved that script. The movie was a rough road, and my feelings were mixed by the time it finally found its finish line (Relativity Media really beat that one up), but that could also be a really interesting viewing experience at this stage of my career.
But generally, each of these movies is a journey, and once the journey is over it's tough to ever really go back. There's little point, and moving forward feels like a matter of survival. The "finished product" is only the tip of a large, deep, labyrinthian iceberg for me. It's impossible to only see what's on the surface, no matter how hard I try.
(Interesting side-note: The only exception I've found to this rule is The Life of Chuck. We just finished post production on the movie, and I've watched it dozens and dozens of times now - but I've never grown tired of it, not even a little bit. That movie is something special, and I am eager to watch it again - and again - and again. I don't know that I'll ever want distance from that one; in fact, watching it brings me a sense of joy, comfort, and safety.)
293 notes · View notes
octuscle · 4 months
Text
Browth Spurt
Martin, Michael and Christian were interns at promaxx, one of the fastest growing venture capitalists. promaxx specialized in biotech, and the board's dream was to find the first unicorn capable of bionically optimizing humans.
Tumblr media
"If they were able to do that, they hadn't done a good job on themselves," Martin whispered to Michael. He had to stifle a laugh. There were indeed a couple of rather ridiculous-looking nerds in the "growth spurt" presentation. They were talking about a combination of pills and autogenic training, which was supposed to unleash undreamt-of powers in men. There was actually a pile of CDs and a few packets of pills on the table in front of them. Images of men screaming "Alpha" from every pore flickered across the projector.
The promaxx product manager had either heard Martin or read his mind. In any case, he asked why the young men didn't look like the ones whose images had just been projected onto the wall. One of the start-up nerds, who weighed a maximum of 70 kilograms at around 200 cm tall, began to stammer that they weren't quite sure yet what the side effects on the psyche would be and that their minds were, after all, the company's greatest asset. Christian, who has always been a bit cheeky, laughed and said that this might not be a good starting point for entering the market. The product manager gave him a high five and added that he was not interested in hearing more, he was sure that everyone present could do better with their time, the meeting was over.
The start-up entrepreneurs from "growth spurt" stood there with their mouths open. They had expected everything, but not such an early termination. The product manager left the room without saying goodbye. Martin and Christian followed in his footsteps. Only Michael stayed for a moment, tried some comforting small talk and then left. The nerds packed up their things in disappointment and left the meeting room.
"Why were you still talking to the losers? "Christian asked Michael. Christian opened his jacket and took out a pack of tablets and three CDs. "That's why," he said with a grin. "We'll see what this stuff is worth now. And if it can become a unicorn, we can say we've discovered it."
That evening, the three boys lay in their beds. The tablets with a glass of water on the bedside table. The CD inserted in a player. They had all had to search a little to find something that could play this ancient media. The three of them chatted on their chatroom.
Michael: Have you already Martin: Nope Christian: Nope Michael: I've put the CD in, but I can't hear a thing. Christian: Same here. Martin: I've swallowed the pill! Michael: Okay, me too now Christian All for one, one for all! …
Christian fell into a deep sleep relatively quickly. His boner built an impressive tent in his bed. At some point during the night, he had a wet dream and blew an incredible load. And then once again. And then once more. And then he woke up.
Christian: Shit, are you awake? Christian: Shit, shit, shit! Michael: Bro, it's 05:00. A bit early for the gym. Martin: You say, weakling! I've been up for half an hour doing push-ups and squats.
Christian sits up. He burped. Must be from the pills. Like the puddle he had slept in. And that body that had torn his pyjamas to shreds. Martin sent a photo of a monstrous bicep with the comment "Then I'll see how I can get it to burn." Something was different. But Christian didn't know what…
Christian: Bros, I must have overdone it a bit, I don't fit into my clothes anymore. Michael: Same here, bros, had to train naked. Shit, my cock rubs against the floor during the push-ups and doesn't get limp at all. Martin: I was just at my brother's. His clothes fit me reasonably well. I'll pick you up and bring you something.
Christian went into the shower. His three-day beard went perfectly with his dark complexion. No need to shave today. His parents were still closing up when Michael and Martin pulled up outside the house. Christian opened the door, naked as God had made him. "You're a fucking statue, bro," Martin said as he handed him a pile of clothes. Christian posed. The light from the hall lamp cast his shadow on the early morning street. The milkman gawked. And almost had an accident.
Tumblr media
"So, bro! We think you should think again about the nerds from yesterday," Michael said to the promaxx product manager. He just looked at them. He didn't notice any change. The three junior managers looked impressive as always. The fact that they called him "bro" flattered him. "Sorry, big boys, but the rejection is already out."
Christian looked at his bros and asked, "Do you think what I think?" "Shit, when I see you, I always think the same thing, stud!" said Martin. He obviously wasn't wearing any underpants. And he was leaking plenty of precum. "Michael grabbed his crotch and said "Let's fuck the guys from "growth spurt". Christian grinned. "At least there's one here who hasn't fucked his brains out or swapped them for brawn."
The three of them had quite a problem getting into the Uber. The driver said that with three guys that big, he would definitely need a gas surcharge for being overweight. The three boys laughed uproariously as if it was a good joke. They liked it when people admired them. And they were indeed admirable. "Stop, Taxi-Bro," yelled Mike. They had just passed a store selling gym gear. "We need to get in there quickly," he added. "Dude, you're a lifesaver," said Chris and gave him a fist bump. Martin's brother's suits were just too tight. And you couldn't show them off. And the sun was shining. Sun's out, guns out. Their motto is college days. Hehehe, they didn't do much other than hang out in the sun on campus. They were living proof that you could build a career on good looks alone.
"Damn, don't you think you should at least cover your nipples?" asked the Uber driver. "And what the hell is so smelly here?" Martin let his pecs dance in the back seat. "Bro, don't talk, drive! In tank tops, my monster pecs are like prison!" And in the passenger seat, Mike crossed his arms behind his head in such a way that the driver almost fell into the bush in his armpit. "Stink? All I smell is man musk". Christian farted a huge protein fart. "Not only musk, bro." The three bros laughed. The driver stepped on the gas, hoping the tip would compensate for at least some of the pain this ride was causing him.
Tumblr media
The CEO and CFO of "growth spurt" looked helplessly at the three men, who could barely get anything past their lips apart from "dude", "bro" and "sick big muscles". The guinea pigs they had experimented with so far had also developed a powerful sex drive and tyrannized all the other reference animals. But at least they hadn't been tattooed and had smelled like a gym locker. Mike, Chris and Martin would make great advertising characters after all. Maybe they'd be able to collect equity that way. And they would need it. At least now they had three extra mouths to feed with a massive appetite for cum and protein.
Pics made @ki-kink
243 notes · View notes
wip · 7 months
Note
For a long time now, it's been impossible to see comments or reblogs with comment/tags on posts over a certain age when using the mobile app or blog view. Today I was looking at a post from 2015 that I knew had at least one reblog comment and lots of tags, but all the reblogs were under "other". I found the comment (but couldn't see any tags) by going to the [blog name].tumblr.com/post/[###] link and scrolling through all the notes in one list, but it's impossible anywhere else.
I know this probably has to do with the many changes Tumblr has gone through in that time, but it's still really inconvenient to have disappearing notes on the platform where part of the charm is that posts can survive for, at this point, almost a decade and a half.
Is it even possible to fix this, and of so, is it something you would consider?
Answer: Hey there, @maplerosekisses!
It is possible to fix this, and we would like to fix it, but it’s a daunting problem at Tumblr’s scale. Buckle up for storytime.
Long, long ago, Tumblr was created, and in the beginning, there weren’t even notes on posts. There weren’t even reblogs or likes. In fact, we were one of the first platforms to introduce the heart icon and the concept of “likes”! We created the reblog! Back in those days, each of these actions were tracked separately. Likes were tracked in one database table and reblogs weren’t tracked at all as notes. When we introduced replies, those had yet another way of being tracked in our database. Totally separate entities on the platform for years.
Eventually, we wanted to consolidate these into one number—so we had to count each of those different places. That’s horribly inefficient, and as Tumblr grew in size and popularity, this became a bottleneck that hurt the whole platform. So one of the things we did was to invent a new denormalized database table called “notes,” to track all of these different things in one place so we could easily count them. We still have that table, and it’s still the fallback whenever we need to count the notes on a post.
But this itself is ancient history. Since then, the product has changed even more, and we removed replies and re-added them later, back in 2015 or so—and made some changes in that process to help further improve efficiency. These improvements allowed us to include media in the notes view, and be able to split out replies versus reblogs-with-comment versus likes (kind of going back to the way it was originally.) Even then, we didn’t yet support showing tag usage in the notes—that would come even later.
In the process of making all of these changes for efficiency and functionality, we had to ask ourselves, as you point out: should we try to backfill these new database tables with all of the data from before? For a long while, we were using both systems to power the notes view, so we could display as much information from “before” as we could. Eventually, we didn’t need to do that anymore, because the number of people scrolling back to that “before” time became infinitesimally small. And that's the situation we’re in today.
Because if we wanted to backfill the data, we would need to process literally tens of billions of posts and notes from before 2015, at a conservative estimate. Let’s say it’s 10,000,000,000, for the sake of argument: if we started an automated process to go through them at ~100 per second (which would be relatively safe at our scale, so Tumblr doesn’t break as we’re digging up these old rows in the database), it would take over three years of continuous operation to complete that task.
In situations like this, we have to ask ourselves if that’s worth it. So far, the answer we’ve determined is no. But we may find a more efficient way to do it, there’s undoubtedly a way, and when we do, we will re-evaluate the decision again. We hope that makes sense—trying to make changes to Tumblr can be really, really hard.
But thank you for your question. We appreciate them and hope that goes some way to answering your query. Keep 'em coming, y'all.
272 notes · View notes
boldstarks · 7 months
Text
Giedi Prime (House Fenrir Dune AU)
word count: 1498 Words pairing: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Bene Gesserit!Reader warnings: none (yet) summary: you arrive on Giedi Prime for the Na-Baron's birthday celebration, but you have another task ahead of you.
Before you arrived on Giedi Prime, you didn't believe a place could be completely devoid of color, but as you stand on one of your father's heighliners looking over the planet, you have come to believe what they say. You peered at the black and white planet below from the bridge as the ship waited for its permission to land on the surface. House Fenrir was one of the many invited to the celebration for the Na-Baron's twentieth birthday and one-hundredth gladiator fight.
Even from outside the atmosphere, you can see the planet is heavily polluted from the fervent industrialization led by House Harkonnen over the centuries.
A nervousness settled in your stomach when you entered the planet's orbit, and your father's reservations about the match weren't easing the anxiety creeping through your bloodstream. Today was the day that you would begin to seduce the Baron's heir.
"We could always go back home," the archduke said. He has joined you at the window.
"It would not serve our house to make an enemy out of the Harkonnens," you reply in a monotone voice.
They were known for maintaining a cruel and tyrannical grip over their worlds. Violence and war were ingrained in their culture, and you had no doubt they would inflict that bloodshed on your people. If their treatment of the people of Arrakis was any indicator of how they treated those who displeased them, you knew they could do the same to Fenrir.
"Wise words," Lady Aurelia, your father's concubine, said.
Lady Aurelia was the closest thing you had to a mother after your own had died of a mysterious illness during your adolescence. You knew she did not see you the same way, though. Your father openly favored you and your older sister, Maron, over her two sons. To her, you were simply an obstacle in the way of her eldest son inheriting your father's title.
"They could reverse engineer our harvesters or simply kill us and take over production, and the emperor wouldn't bat an eye," you said, turning away from the grim image of the planet that you would soon call home if all went according to the Reverend Mother's plan.
"I hate the thought of leaving you in this place," Vulcan says.
Lady Aurelia sighs. "Y/N can take care of herself; I've seen to it."
"Lady Aurelia is right, father. I am more than capable of completing the task that the sisterhood has given me," you tell him.
Your reassurance only causes the worry lines around his mouth and forehead to deepen.
"Your Grace," a servant said.
The three figures at the window turn, and the servant curtsies quickly in respect.
"We have been given permission to land, Your Grace. We await your command," the servant says and curtsies again.
You watch her nervously scamper off. It seems that Vulcan wasn't the only one on edge today.
The landing was relatively uneventful, and the surface of Giedi Prime was just as bleak as you imagined. There were no natural plants in sight, and the air had a bitter taste to it that coated your tongue, throat, and sinuses. It made you miss Fenrir bitterly, with its vast oceans and thick forests that enveloped the less developed parts of the planet.
In the light of Giedi Prime's black sun, your ice blue dress looks silver. It's form-fitting to your body with a halter neck and leaves your arms bare. The look was completed with teardrop-shaped pearl earrings set in silver hardware.
A female servant is already waiting for you when the ship lands. She is pale and completely devoid of hair. She wears a dark-colored dress of a peculiar cut, and she keeps her eyes on the floor.
She curtsies deeply when you step off the ship with your father and Lady Aurelia into Harkonnen Palace's ship dock.
"I have been ordered by the Baron to show you to your quarters before the spectacle, Your Grace," the servant says in a small, timid voice.
Your father opens his mouth to reply, but the girl turns on her heel quickly and hurries toward another crowd of visitors being led by another woman in an identical dress. She waits to let the guests from a house you didn't recognize pass before continuing her beeline to the door.
You see Vulcan and Aurelia exchange a glance before all three of you follow after her.
The inside of the Harkonnen Palace is just as bleak as the outside. It is made up of identical black and white hallways; one could easily get lost in them. The servant girl expertly navigates these identical hallways without raising her eyes. She's obviously been here for quite a while. You wonder what horrible things she witnessed, or perhaps endured, in her employment here.
The woman is completely silent until she arrives at a nondescript slate gray door with a black panel installed on the wall next to it. "This is your room, Lady Y/N, and your parents are right beside you."
She motions toward an identical door to the left.
Lady Aurelia goes to her and your father's door and presses her hand to the panel. The panel glows, and the door slides open.
"What did it just do?" your father asks, puzzled.
"The doors to your quarters are programmed, so you need your handprint to get into them, Your Grace," the girl responds. "The Baron has found guests feel more secure when they are the only ones who have access to their living space."
Your father nods and presses his hand to the panel. Lady Aurelia walks into their room without another word.
"Just knock if you need anything, darling," Vulcan said, following her inside.
Their door slides shut behind them, leaving you alone with the servant.
"How did I find my way around?" you ask.
The girl makes eye contact with you for the first time.
"I strongly advise you not to walk around without someone to escort you, My Lady," the servant girl said firmly. "This is not a place where one wants to get lost."
This wasn't a request; it was a warning. The girl's eyes darted back toward the ground. You place your hand on your door's panel. It warms slightly when it scans your handprint. The door slides open, and you step inside. The servant girl won't meet your eye again before the door slides shut.
If you were anyone else, you would feel as though you had stepped into the belly of the beast. But you're not just anyone; you're Bene Gesserit. You're exactly where you're meant to be.
---------
You sit on an elevated platform that sits slightly lower than the one occupied by the Baron Harkonnen, the Reverend Mother, and your father, the Archduke, along with an unknown count and his wife. The crowds in the stands below are packed with Giedi Prime citizens. The black sun has once again washed the color out of everything. You were provided a pair of small field glasses to view all the fights through.
You're sitting with six other Bene Gesserit sisters that you have never met before. Despite knowing little about them, having some of your sisters here is a comfort.
In some twisted way, you looked forward to having your way with Feyd-Rautha. The Reverend Mother Helen described him as violent, calculating, and isolated. The Baron and his brother, whom they called the Beast, were neither fit to raise an emotionally intelligent, stable child. That only made your job simpler. It doesn't matter how physically strong Feyd-Rautha is; he's sexually and emotionally vulnerable. And you could mold him into whatever you see fit.
The opening fights are lackluster. It's obvious the opponents have been drugged to ensure the safety of the Harkonnen gladiators. You noted this with distaste and nearly rolled your eyes. The Harkonnens claimed to be the most dominant, well-trained fighters in the galaxy, but they couldn't be bothered to truly fight someone without resorting to petty vices and trickery. Nevertheless, the crowd roars with satisfaction whenever blood is spilled on the sand of the gladiator pit.
Now comes the main event: Feyd-Rautha's one-hundredth kill in the gladiator pit. Was this the measure of a Harkonnen man? Slaughtering drugged prisoners was supposed to be a show of power and strength while wearing a shield.
A horn blows, and the crowd begins to shriek and whoop once again. In the arena, a large set of doors slide open, and the Na-Baron emerges from the darkness beyond the doorway, a knife in each hand. He raises them toward the sun and circles the pit. The light of the black sun glints off the blades. He's hairless, like the other inhabitants of his planet. He's dressed in light black armor and practically preens for the crowd before kneeling. He bows his head in respect to his uncle and dedicates this win to the man.
The Baron is satisfied by this display, and the barbarism begins.
taglist: @ariesmai
293 notes · View notes
max1461 · 5 months
Text
This has mostly disappeared from my corner of the internet over the last few years, but it used to be the case that every once in a while some story would go around about a corporation or a government doing some fucked up shit in pursuit of their self-interest, and people in the comments and reblogs would act utterly aghast that said government or corporation would do such a thing.
This was always baffling to me, and I have only ever been able to interpret it as a sign of profound naivety. Of course, I too think it is awful, sad, and unjust when people are exploited, killed, abused or so on by the institutions of our society. But "aghastness" is not synonymous with these things, to be aghast is to be (or present yourself as) in some sense surprised. And surprise is wholly unwarranted here.
I suppose this is part of my worldview that feels very fundamental, it feels deeply obvious, and I struggle to figure out how to talk productively with people who did not get the memo: exploitation and abuse of others in pursuit of self-interest is in some sense the natural behavior of agents in any kind of competitive context. It requires a lot of effort and coordination to mitigate this behavior. We do not feel "aghast" when someone is bitten by a dog. Dogs bite people, idiot! And corporations exploit their workers, lie, cheat, and steal, unless you work very hard to prevent them from doing so. And governments exploit and neglect their citizens, and go to war and kill and maim, unless you work very hard to prevent them from doing so. Individual humans, as members of a social species for which cooperation is paramount to survival, have quite a lot of specific programming whose purpose seems to be to discourage us from doing these things (empathy, loyalty, etc. etc.), and yet very often we still do them!
I have relatives who have a hard time believing in US atrocities abroad, on the grounds that "Americans are the good guys, and the US just wouldn't do that". This is very stupid! Do you think the US got where it is today without cracking some eggs? Bullshit. There's never been a government or a military in the history of humanity that "just wouldn't do that". I sometimes see posts on here from tankies, defending Chinese or Soviet atrocities on the grounds that these things must be Western propaganda, a socialist government just wouldn't do that. Again, I find this so obviously false as to be essentially beneath engaging with. We don't live in a just world! Often, a very effective strategy for achieving whatever it is you're trying to achieve will involve treating people like shit. It is what it is.
I'm not trying to play defense for injustice here. Obviously I think we should do as much as we can to prevent these abuses. But I think that doing so must start with basic recognition of the following: it is the nature of institutions—being as competition between them is essentially unavoidable, and being as their decision processes are unavoidably removed from the face-to-face social context which is so load-bearing in motivating respectful treatment between individual humans—to abuse people in pursuit of their (perceived) self-interest. This behavior is mundane and expected. It can be mitigated in various ways, ideological and structural, but it will probably always be with us to some degree. To look at it and express shock in any capacity suggests a completely misguided understanding of how the world works.
This is the first and most important thing I ever learned about politics or society.
163 notes · View notes
Text
Bittersweet 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc. 
Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU 
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk. 
18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you. 
Summary: Your startup business catches the eye of a powerful rival.
Character: Loki Laufeyson
Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved. 
Tumblr media
“So, the Green Bundle includes a Match truffle, chocolate mint smoothies, and green tea infused fudge,” you explain to the trio of women across from you. “The deluxe includes peppermint cocoa as well and comes in a this mug.” 
You present one of the few kits you have left in your inventory. As big a deal as getting a stall at the event was, you hadn’t expected the crowd. You’re overwhelmed, especially realising you’re the only stand with only a single body. 
“That’s so cute,” the taller brunette remarks, “what about the Pink kit? It says strawberry and creme?” 
“Ah, yes, that one sold out rather quickly today. I can offer a voucher for my online boutique or I can sell you a sampler box? It has the strawberry and creme as well as my more popular flavours.” 
“Do you do this all yourself?” The curly blonde asks as she eyes the chocolate dipped cherries. 
Another body crowds in, a tall men bending to peruse your hand-painted sign listing all your bundles and boxes. He pays you little mind as he eyes cling to the letters and he reaches to pluck up one of your cards. You return your attention to the blonde. 
“Yes, they’re all hand-crafted. The mugs as well but I don’t do those. I’ve a friend who makes those.” 
“The packaging is so pretty,” the first preens, “can I have a sampler then?” 
“Sure,” you answer, “I do the packaging as well. All the stickers, the bows I tie myself, and I decorate each box.” 
“Wow, that’s so cool,” the middle on remarks, “I’ll have a sampler as well and the green bundle.” 
“Sampler for me,” the third agrees. 
You go through the same process with each. You grab the product, put it in a bag, seal it with a sticker, and ring them through with a tap of their card. They all seem excited for their purchase and it’s contagious. It’s been a hectic day but you’re running low and you don’t think you’ll make it through to closing. Still, it’s good advertising. 
“Green tea fudge?” The tall man slithers towards the center of your counter, “an unusual combination.” 
“Yes, that one took a lot of experimenting.” 
“Mmm,” he still has your card in hand, bending it slightly as he flicks it with his thumb, “the red bundle. Cherry, red velvet, and...” he leans back to check the sign, “cayenne. Interesting.” 
“I try to make sure there’s variety in each,” you explain. 
“Yes, so it seems. I’ll take a red then.” 
“Sorry, sir, um, I’ve sold out of most. I still have the yellow, the black, and the green--” 
“Sold out?” He raises his wrist to give an emphatic glance at his watch, “either you’re very popular or ill-prepared.” 
You’re surprised by the accusation. He’s rather blunt. You’ve dealt with many different types today but they’ve all been relatively pleasant, after all, it’s hard to be in a bad mood at a Baking Show. 
“Fair, I wasn’t expecting so many buyers, sir. But you have my card, you’ll see my online boutique is listed--” 
“But I want to buy now,” he says as he tilts his head, dark brows rising just slightly. 
“I understand, I apologise for the inconvenience, but I just don’t have the red on-hand. I do have a sampler here--” You grab one of the variety boxes, “it would have the cayenne and the cherry.” 
“Do you think a one-person operation like this is sustainable?” He inquires sharply. 
You wince and shake your head, “sir? I’ve only just started. I’m sure with growth I’ll have to adjust.” 
“And do you have a business plan or is this some Etsy venture with no goals?” 
You nearly choke. You don’t know what you’ve done to offend him. 
“Well, sir, if you don’t want to buy, I do have free samples available. I don’t have any of the red flavours but I do have some banana peanut butter and salted caramel apple--” 
“I didn’t ask about samples,” he insists, “I’m asking about your business plan.” 
You bat your lashes and look around. Has he come to this event just to interrogate people over their bottom line? 
“I suppose it’s something I will have to review after today,” you contend. 
“I’d say,” he tucks your card into his jacket pocket, his hand lingering within as he pulls out a leather wallet, “if you have any questions...” 
He slides a card free and offers it. You take it hesitantly and read the gold font on matte black cardstock. Black Snake Chocolatier. You run your fingers over the embossed lettering and narrow your eyes. You peer over at the large banner over that business’ booth. He must be from over there but he’s not exactly dressed for the work. His suit is pressed and stainless. 
“I did sponsor that one,” he pulls your attention back, “but I’ve come down to take measure of my competition and possible... acquisitions.” 
You nod slowly as you meet his green eyes. Is this intimidation? 
“Loki Laufeyson,” he offers his hand as a glint of silver in his hair catches the light, “might I have your name?” 
You trade your name and a handshake. He squeezes enough for you to wince. He lets go and you slip his card in you apron pocket with all the others collected from your fellow vendors. 
“I’ll certainly take a sampler,” he says, “see if this little venture has any teeth.” 
His every word is like a bite. He speaks with the fangs of the very logo of his business. You put his purchase into your phone and offer the square for him to tap his payment. He processes it and swipes up the box before you can package it. 
“Do you want a bag?” You ask. 
“I can handle it,” he tucks the box under his arm. “Best of luck to you doing the same.” 
He glances around and slowly moves aside as a group of new customers set in. A family of five with three hollering children with grabby hands. Your eyes widen as you smile at them as best you can. This day has truly tested your social battery. 
159 notes · View notes
cosmicconversations · 29 days
Text
Pick-A-Card Tarot Reading: Messages From Your Spirit Guides 🕊️
Hey, welcome or welcome back to Pick-A-Card Friday on my blog! So, today, I wanted to switch things up from the love readings. I definitely plan on giving you guys a variety of subjects through Tarot and to cover things regarding healing, the spiritual journey, and self-awareness and development, instead of just focusing on romance. (We will only cover that a couple of Fridays a month)
In this reading, we will be getting messages from your spirit guides! Now, spirit guides can have different influences on our lives. We have main guides who are either around for our entire lives or the majority of our life and we have more temporary guides that specifically come in to teach us a specific lesson and then, after we have learned it, leave us. So, any of those guides could come through today.
We are going to be a little in-depth as we look at who this guide is and then how they show up in your life. (For clarity’s sake, I won’t be taking reversals in this part) Then, in the extended on Patreon, we will see what they are helping you with at this current time.
Even if we can’t see our guides or don’t consciously know we are interacting with them, they are still there. Intuitively, you will know if the pile you have picked makes sense and recognize how this guide has been with you all along. Some of you will already know who this guide is and have a clear relationship with them and this reading will only provide confirmation and further clarity.
Also, more than any other reading, it is okay to be drawn to more than one pile here. You might have multiple guides trying to reach you through this reading!
Tumblr media
Pile 1
Tumblr media
Pile 2
Tumblr media
Pile 3
Pile 1
Who Are They?
Three of Pentacles
Okay, the “they” is feeling literal here, Pile 1. I am actually taking this Three of Pentacles to indicate multiple guides who decided to come through for you. For a lot of you, I am getting it is three of them and you may know who I am talking about. I feel like these are guides that you are probably very actively working with and communicating with. If not, you are going to be establishing that relationship with them soon. They are very close to you and very much a part of your soul family. For some of you, these might actually be family members who have passed on. Maybe it’s a parent and a grandparent (who you may or may not have known in this life) and another late relative. Take it however it resonates. But, these guides are a formidable unit and definitely comprise the bulk (though not the entirety) of your Spirit Team.
These guides are very invested in your success on the material plane. They are doing all they can on their side to set you up for a secure and stable and successful life. You won’t always know or understand the moves they’re making but they don’t need the credit for that. It is important that you allow them to step in and help you, though. I am getting a very stubborn energy from those of you who chose this pile. Your guides love that about you and, if they were here on Earth, they may have been very similar. But, they also need you to see when it would be most productive to step aside and let them take over a bit. Their big message here is that you don’t have to make things so hard and also that you can trust them.
I feel like many of you may be enduring some financial struggles or career setbacks that are causing a lot of frustration. Even if you are actively working with these guides, you are finding it hard to fully trust in the process of everything. They don’t hold that against you but they want you to know that everything is going to be alright. These difficulties will come to an end soon! You just need to see yourself as in an ongoing collaboration with them (as I do think they will be with you for life). Make it easier on yourself by leaving some things up to them. I also get the sense that these guides (most likely, these three guides) all have very distinct energies. It could be any mix of masculine or feminine energies. Together, they are a very powerful unit and the more you connect with them, the more you will see their huge impact in your life.
How Do They Show Up?
Judgment /// Ten of Cups /// Two of Swords
There is a bit of tough love energy here, coming from a masculine guide in this group, in particular. But, all of these guides on your Team are not going to hesitate to put you through your paces. This is not a bad thing, even though the experience of it is going to suck, at times. Ultimately, your guides know what you are made of and they are working with you to build your character. This will happen through some harsh circumstances, especially when you are younger. When you have your back against the wall, these guides will come through loud and clear, especially the masculine one I identified earlier. In these situations, you will have major epiphanies and hard wake-up calls. You are not allowed to go through this world metaphorically blindfolded, thanks to them.
It is actually through your ability to face hard truths about yourself and your life that these guides speak through you. When guides are especially close to us on a soul level, we can sometimes confuse their guidance with our inner monologue. Some of you in this pile are clairaudient and will definitely hear their voices in a clear and distinct way. You are not going crazy. Yes, it’s real and while mental illness can play with certain people’s heads in that regard, I think you know the difference. It won’t sound like your voice but it will give you words of wisdom or soothe and comfort you when needed. In any case, you are not allowed to ignore the truth because of these guides. I feel like, if they can’t get you to see reason, they will bombard you with signs until you do.
A strong message that I am getting is that many of you are clairvoyant but suppressing or resisting it. This gift of yours is very strong, though, and these guides will send you messages in that way. So, be more open to receiving them. A lot of you are also going through a major spiritual awakening that could be unlocking gifts you possess like the aforementioned ones or even mediumship. They will help you embrace and strengthen these abilities and shed your fear of them. This awakening is also what is getting you to see these guides’ presence in your life to begin with. It may have been two years since this started or it will unfold over the next two years. These guides will play a major role in helping you navigate your true spiritual path.
There is also something here about one or more of them communicating to you even more when you are around your family. That supports my feel that this Team may include passed on relatives. There is something about a grandparent’s home or your childhood home. They could engage with you even more when you’re there. Regardless of your connection to these guides, they are truly your family. When you feel like you have no one to understand or help, they are right there. You share a very loving and special warmth with them. The more you draw on it and lean on it, the happier you will be in life.
Extended Reading for Pile 1 (what are your guides currently helping you with?)
/////////
Pile 2
Who Are They?
Queen of Wands
Pile 2, this guide is a very powerful being who is not to be messed with. They definitely embody this Queen of Wands energy. It is a very feminine guide, for sure. It could be a female spirit or someone who has passed on who either was a woman or was a man with strong feminine energy. Take it how it fits. For some of you, this guide feels especially queenly, like she occupies a high position somehow. I am getting goddess vibes so you might work with a particular goddess. Deities can definitely serve as guides in our life, especially if this is a patron deity of yours. And I am feeling like this goddess is a goddess of beauty or love of some kind. I am heavily getting Freya’s energy (I always see her as the Queen of Wands) but also possibly Aphrodite or Oshun or Ishtar. Or maybe some other super-gorgeous goddess. There is a strong emphasis on her allure and her highly magnetic energy.
Even if this was a person in your life, she (or he) embodied a very beautiful, very magnetic feminine energy while also being fiery and spirited. They could have had Aries, Leo or Sagittarius placements. They definitely knew how to attract attention in a way that is pretty spicy but still elegant or self-possessed. Whoever this guide is, her impact on your life is to urge you to step into your confidence, to know how amazing and beautiful you are. If this was any feminine older figure in your life you looked up to who passed on, this guide wants you to know that the beauty you saw in them is in you, too! It’s really sweet, actually, and may really hit home if you were related to them.
Deities feel the same way about us. With Aphrodite, for instance, the reason you shouldn’t compare yourself to her beauty or try to “take it” for yourself is that she wants you to see the beauty you have within, not try to copy hers. Whenever you are working with any goddess of beauty and love, it can only be truly effective if you are tapping into your own inner beauty and self-love. This guide is urging you to see that you are a goddess, too (and that can be said gender-neutrally, you can be a man and have an inner goddess). Also, while inner beauty is crucial, this guide also is meant to teach you that there is nothing wrong with cultivating outer beauty. She wants you to feel yourself to the degree you need to and to honor your feminine nature. Yet, she is also fierce! And she urges you to take no disrespect and to be in charge of your own life. This is a formidable Divine Feminine being who wants you to tap into your inner power and take up space.
How Do They Show Up?
Ten of Pentacles /// Knight of Swords /// The Hanged Man
So, a metaphor for how this guide operates popped into my head. Have you ever wished you could literally stop your bestie from dating that no good man? Just yank him out of the picture? Have you ever wanted to vet your friend’s dates for them and turn them away? That’s basically what this guide does! She does not mess around when it comes to you and it is coming up as in a romantic sense. I’m getting that this is a very attractive group that chose this pile. You get your fair share of love interests or suitors. But, this guide is fiercely protective and they need her seal of approval before they get near you.
Think of her as the best friend who keeps no-good lovers at a distance. It is quite motherly, too, in its energy. Of course, this could have been a maternal figure in your life and, if so, she had opinions on who was good enough for you and did not want you settling for less. I feel like if you date men or masculine people, this dynamic is even stronger and more pronounced. It might constantly feel like romantic situations “stall” in your life. Maybe you get ghosted or the person you’re dating refuses to commit or is frustratingly unavailable. These things happen in order for you to see the truth. This guide opens your eyes on a regular basis when it comes to romance. You might be looking at a love interest one way and then, all of a sudden, you see them from a totally different point of view that changes your desire to be with them.
This guide does feel like a very long-term guide. She has, at least, been around throughout your adult life as you have navigated romance on a serious level. For some of you, especially if this is a non-patron goddess, she might have been called in on a temporary basis to help you elevate to the next level of commitment with someone. But, even so, she is not going to leave until she sees you settle into a happy, healthy, stable relationship. Think of her as your metaphysical matchmaker! Because of this, she is going to be straight-up with you and force you to grow into the secure and mature adult you need to be to have a successful relationship. If you have any patterns in love that need to be addressed, she will lovingly insist that you do so. This goddess-type figure understands how to attract in a powerful way and she knows that you need to match the vibration of a solid romantic connection if you want to attract that.
While single, any urges you have to focus on yourself and practice self-love or build your self-confidence will be applauded by her. She wants you to be secure enough in yourself to be able to clearly identify what you do and don’t want in a long-term connection. That way, she won’t have to keep interfering for you. Her goal is to get you to the place where you are getting rid of unsuitable partners yourself. The more you do this, the more she will be guiding you toward the right person. I have to tell you that it will be quite a wait! And if that frustrates you or saddens you, you can turn to her for comfort. But, she also doesn’t want you to feel like you’re “waiting” for the right person. Her influence in your life is felt when you stop focusing on the wait for the one and learn how to show up for yourself in the way you want a partner to. When you get comfortable with this, she will help you manifest your true person in a way that is so sudden and unexpected but also feels so right.
Extended Reading for Pile 2 (what is this guide currently helping you with?)
/////////
Pile 3
Who Are They?
Six of Cups
Pile 3, I felt a swell of emotion while I was meditating on your picture. This feels like a sentimental sort of energy that might make you tear up a bit. I get the sense that this guide had some sort of significant impact in your childhood. That can mean quite a few things. For some of you, this is a beloved pet that was with you throughout your childhood and then passed. Pets very often act as guides in our lives for a period of time. I think some people in this pile had a tumultuous childhood or adolescence that a pet helped them through with their unconditional love and comfort. They may have felt like your only support, sometimes. So, if that fits for you, this pet is still with you and is saying hello and that they still love you!
For others, this could have been someone you grew up with or went to school with who passed unexpectedly. I am getting a very youthful energy with this pile. So, they may have been sick or gotten into a fatal accident when you guys were still really young. Possibly, it was a troubled friend who went down the wrong path. Regardless of the circumstances, something you should know is that they are fine and their spirit is operating in the exact way that you remember them. I think that is the emotional part of a reading like this as we can grow a bit older and move through life but we still have this presence with us that takes us back to that time when we were kids or teens. It can evoke nostalgia out of nowhere but we know we can’t get that time back with them.
It is also likely that this is a cousin or something who you were very close to as a kid and grew up with. I specifically feel like it is someone from your past in this life. Possibly someone from college but it reads younger for most of you. It doesn’t feel like some spiritual being that you have no conscious memory of. I think that, if this was a person from your upbringing, they come through in ways that trigger your nostalgia; any songs or shows or places that would remind you of them. Also, you may just be overwhelmed with the memory of them and feel really emotional. If this was a pet, they definitely send you signs through the animal that they were. You might start seeing a lot of dogs or cats or whatever species they were, often even their actual breed. And you could even hear the noises of their species, like barks or meows. This guide has a lot of love for you and they will always, in a way, see you and connect with you as that “baby” version of yourself. Yet, it’s because of this that they are also so proud to see who you have become.
How Do They Show Up?
Nine of Cups /// The Wheel of Fortune /// The Moon
You tend to be very unaware of this guide’s presence. I feel like there is something specific about them that makes you feel like they wouldn’t be guiding you or watching over you. First off, if this was a pet, it could have felt outside the realm of consideration to you that their spirit would still be with you and protecting you. It is commonplace to say that when people die but we don’t ever really talk about animals that way. But, the bond you had with them persists. Okay, this message is beautiful. You know how someone can lose their spouse or partner and that person’s spirit can guide them to a new relationship. I think that happened with you and your pet. They either brought a new pet into your life right after they passed or they eventually guided you to a special connection with one.
If this is someone who left this plane at a very early age, it might be hard to conceive of them as this guide and protector, especially as you are getting older. Now, you might look back and see them as the kid they were. But, they are very much looking out for you. There is something about fun and good times being had. You enjoyed a very fun (possibly wildly so) relationship with this person. And they are always on the lookout for ways to bring more fun and celebration into your life. They love it when you go out and socialize. Maybe this person was very extroverted or very popular when they were here. They possibly could have helped you with your confidence or people skills, in that regard, or they just made you feel really loved. If they were popular themselves, their admiration of you meant a lot to you.
Regardless of what kind of being they are, they impact your life as a guide by showing you how great you are and how much love there is for you. It’s often when you’re feeling down or unsure of yourself or like you’re not really appreciated. I feel like they will be around for the duration of your life but they don’t stay around for long periods. They come in and out on a recurring basis to give you a pick-me-up when you need it. This could also be through words of admiration or compliments you receive from other people, in a seemingly random fashion, often from strangers in public. Also, little strokes of luck can be their doing, even if it means just getting the parking space you want or being able to beat traffic to make it somewhere on time. If it feels like someone set that up for you somehow, it was them.
The signs you receive from them will be very undeniable and strong, to the point where logic cannot get in the way or make you dismiss it. But, you could confuse it as just being a sign about them or a memory of them instead of communication from them. There’s a difference. You will know because it will seemingly come out of nowhere and hit you hard. Again, there is something significant about parties or social events coming through. I think that this guide will often be by your side when you’re at a party or socializing. They may be, in a way, having fun with you but there is also a protective energy. Less disasters or mishaps occur because they are around. Also, they play a role in safeguarding your reputation. This guide sees the absolute best in you and has a way of influencing things to help others see the good in you, too, even when it would be easy to judge. Many of you are in the public eye on some level or will be one day and this guide will help keep you in good social standing, even if you’re involved in a controversy or messy details of your private life emerge. They will make sure you don’t feel too “exposed” and that certain negative opinions don’t hinder you.
Extended Reading for Pile 3 (what is this guide currently helping you with?)
105 notes · View notes