#tobirama is just asking. what was that

[lgcllyanx]

hc that the uchiha can create a fire warm enough to heat themselves up or dry themselves off, but the caveat is that creates a visible fire and appears as if the user is actually on fire, so they don't do it often

izuna, however, is a little shit and he would use that jutsu to every advantage he can. because think about a young izuna in battle when it's raining or something and his opponents are like what the fuck that uchiha kid just set himself on fire

maybe he'd use it on others, too, just those close to him like madara or other uchiha. madara is used to being in a meeting and knowing izuna is near because he's suddenly a lot warmer than before and the other clan heads are screaming in shock. he just sighs

but imagine izuna and tobirama are on a mission together, after the village is formed, and they end up in the cold. and izuna offers to use his warming jutsu to help tobirama heat up. imagine the shock of tobirama suddenly seeing flames dancing around his body without actually feeling burnt. he would need to know that jutsu more than he has needed anything ever

[nonexistent-morals]

Modern Elderich madara au where hes summoned by tobirama (to prove a point to hashirama that otherworldly beings dont exist ) only for it to back fire and madara to turn around and show tobirama to his equally elderich and terrifying siblings like, look at my cute little human husband (they are not even elderich married (much less human married ), but tobirama doesn't know that and he dosent need to know) and izuna and the rest sorta just going along with it

[pachu09]

Wherein as a high caliber Sensor, Tobirama developed the ability to pinpoint out people who became psychopathic when it comes to their romantic partner/prospect.

Tobirama had first realized that something had been added to his Sensing ability.

And it all started with his Mother. Back then when all is well and good, he recalled he was only five years old when he felt the first time the spine tingling terror that shot through him when his Mother blankly stared at a civilian woman who dared to be friendly with his Father.

Mother and Father had fit to travel with him and Anija to the Capital to be introduced to the Daimyo. At the end of the week of their stay, Tobirama had vaguely recalled that the noble woman who giggles whenever Father was near her was found dead in her room. As a child it didn't really register to him that something was amiss when it happened because he was busy playing with Anija and training at that time.

But now that Tobirama is an Adult. He can now confirmed with utmost confidence that his Sensing includes knowing who becomes a Psychopath when it comes to their romantic partner.

Tobirama grimaces internally. He was loath to admit it, but his Mother is his first hard evidence of people with such extreme tendencies. He glances down at his scribbled notes with hidden codes sparsely written so no one would know of his rather personal investigation.....

Tobirama frowns deeply. Anija had been jotted down in his notes too..because he had also started to display his psychopathic tendencies. He hates to admit that he felt stupid and that it took so long for him to notice Anija's blank eyed stares when someone talks to Mito–neesan.

He shuddered in fright.

He doesn't dare to tell Mito-neesan about his speculation. Anija would probably bury him alive without killing him if he tried to warn Mito-neesan....

Tobirama bit his lips. He warily eyed the next names written underneath Anija's. Madara and Izuna had surprised him about their psychopathic tendencies. He doesn't know who are their prospects but Tobirama found himself under threatening looks whenever the Uchiha Brothers are near him. He had checked again and again with the people he had interacted with but so far as he found out... none of them had been the lover of the Uchiha Brothers...

So why is he getting hounded, furiously glared at and feeling like he's about to be killed whenever the Brothers circled around him?...

Tobirama rubbed his aching temples. Should he just hide for a month in his lab then?. So that whatever offensive thing he did would make The Uchiha Brothers forget if they can't see him?...

A single eerie knock on his lab door made Tobirama sit up in fright. His eyes nervously darted at his sealed door.

He cleared his throat and shook his head to get rid of his rattled nerves. " Who is it?. "

" Tobirama. Why are you hiding in your lab?. "

Tobirama felt the spine chilling fear shooting down his spine at hearing Izuna’s ominous question. He just knew, that it'll be an enormous mistake if he were to open his lab door.

" Uchiha. It has only been a day since I took an absence. I do not know what you need me for but just recruit Anija to help you or something. " Tobirama grimaced at his impatient tone. He didn't mean to sound dismissive but he really, really didn't want to talk to Izuna this day....preferably for a month even.

" Won't you invite us in then, Tobirama?. " Tobirama quickly stood up from his seat as he heard Madara’s voice behind the door. What in the world?...he was so sure, Izuna was the only person that was standing in front of his lab door. So where did the Elder Uchiha had come from?.

Tobirama with a dry throat swallowed nervously. " No Uchiha. I don't want the two of you entering my lab. Who knows what the two of you would accidentally destroy if you bumble around here. " he sneered in anger.

Ominous silence greeted his hateful answer.

Tobirama warily eyed his lab door. He cannot sense Madara and Izuna’s chakra behind it perhaps the Brothers had given up in pestering him?.

He decided to sit for a minute to rest his trembling legs but before he could do so...the spike of combine furious Chakra lashing out at his sensitive Sensing made him stumble on his feet and he crashes onto the ground with a hard thump. He felt dizzy and in pain as he accidentally bashed his head on his lab table when he crashed down.

He clutches his head as he wheezes painfully. The oppressive Chakra felt like it was burning him alive....

He tried to stand up, but his shaking limbs won't support him. He only had a second to realize that his doorknob had slowly rotated and an ominous click of it signified that it had been unlocked.

Tobirama stared terrified at the sandal clad feet that step over his lab barrier without any difficulty.

He slowly looked up at the Brother's furiously blazing Sharingan.

" That's not nice of you, Tobirama. " he tried to crawl away when the Elder Uchiha crouch down in front of him. But the suffocating grip on his neck made him freeze in his tracks.

" Guess its really time for him to be trained then?. What say you Aniki?. " Tobirama was instantly confused at that remark. What in the world was Izuna talking about?. What training?.

" For such a genius man. You are rather oblivious to our romantic intentions, Tobirama. " The blank eyed looks of both Uchiha Brothers made Tobirama gobsmacked that he forgot to even fight his way out of his impending doom.

With his aching head and spinning thoughts it took a second too late for him to avoid two sets of Sharingan that bulldozed its influence inside his mind like a roaring Tsunami crashing and devouring everything in its path.

And then.... Tobirama knew nothing anymore...

[comikadraws]

Whats tobirama's beef with the Uchiha?

An Analysis of Tobirama's Prejudice

EDIT: If you have headed here via another user's post, here is a note. That user has never interacted with me. They clearly also haven't read any of my previous or linked posts, as far as I can tell. They simply just blocked me and then made that post to harass me afterward - completely out of the blue. My post has since been edited to better combat bad-faith takes and bullies like her.

Oh boi. More Tobirama. Once again, I am probably biased but these are my thoughts on him.

First of all, the guy definitely had beef with the Uchiha Clan, but I personally find the "racist" allegations he often gets to be... difficult, to say the least (not that I necessarily disagree with them). It is just that there are some very oversimplified, black-and-white takes out there with zero nuance.

Not that I am necessarily better but I'm definitely trying xD

Tobirama's Prejudice

Tobirama doesn't "hate" the Uchiha Clan but considers them to be a danger to Konoha. That is because

The Uchiha were more loyal/attached to the concept of "clan" rather than the concept of "village" (which stood in conflict with one of Konoha's main philosophies). Hence Tobirama sees them as "rebellious".

The Uchiha are more likely to lose themselves to intense hatred (aka "Curse of Hatred"). And, in the world of Naruto, hate is one of the main motivations of war, ever since the Warring States.

Combine that with the several bad experiences Tobirama and other Senju have had with the Uchiha (centuries of recurring battles, the death of Kawarama and Itama, Madara leaving the village) and you can see why Tobirama would think the Uchiha Clan is dangerous. Beyond that, Tobirama's character actually makes a lot of sense - more so than if he didn't have any prejudice. The prejudice he has is realistic.

He also personally does not believe that he "hates" the Uchiha and describes his bias as "caution".

The Racist Allegations

As I have already covered in this post about the Curse of Hatred, there might be parallels to our world's definition of racism, but Tobirama is not intended as a racist by Kishimoto.

What is important to understand is that perceived themes of racism in fantasy settings (where made-up races can have all sorts of magical differences between them, even those that are undesirable) do not equal actual racism in the real world (where racial differences are purely cosmetic) and often make for a bad analogy.

What I have also covered in the same post is that the Curse of Hatred very much does exist and Tobirama was right to assume that there is something "wrong" with the Uchiha. (For all of you not interested in reading, the TL;DR is that Zetsu's been manipulating the Uchiha for centuries, hence the illusion of a "curse")

Whether his theory was correct or not, however, is up to the audience's interpretation. The problem here is that Kishimoto never contradicted Tobirama's theories and also that they were presented and treated as exposition by the narrative. I am basing my own theory specifically on the exposition given by Hagoromo (chapters 670-671) and Zetsu (chapter 681) who are both relatively reliable sources and seem to imply (emphasis on "imply") that the Curse of Hatred mostly just affects Indra's reincarnates rather than the entire clan (again, reference to my other post because it has nothing to do with Indra specifically but rather just with Zetsu being manipulative).

Not that Tobirama could reasonably know about that detail, though. What he saw instead were centuries of war and Madara's defection, leading him to believe that there must be something influencing the Uchiha's decision-making. (And yes, assuming that my own interpretation about Zetsu is correct, that would make Tobirama a racist as his theories are not based on fact).

Systemic Oppression of the Uchiha?

Another misconception that people apparently have is that Tobirama ostracized the Uchiha Clan, which is untrue. Yes, the guy was horrible, was far too wrapped up in his own trauma, and should not have become Hokage. Not even because I think he was a bad leader necessarily but simply on principle.

That being said, the Uchiha were not being purposefully isolated from the rest of the village. The police force is neither entirely comprised of Uchihas nor are Uchihas forced to join the police. Instead, it is implied to be a choice in the manga.

Somebody else pointed out Orochimaru mentioning that the Uchiha had their clan compound near the prison. But this is not a criterion of ostracization. All the other canonical information we have on the Uchiha's supposed ostracization is based on Obito, who is famously a liar and not a reliable source (therefore it is up to headcanon).

Tobirama also practically gave away permanent leadership of the police. The police are part of the executive branch in any government, just like the military or, in this case, the ANBU - with the only difference being that the police don't require Hokage orders for everything they do. The Uchihas working at the police are in a position of power rather than in a position of suppression. It is also implied that they are able to arrest anybody they want (except ANBU members) without a warrant (again, emphasis on "imply" because the context implies that arrest without a warrant is possible for all non-ANBU citizens).

Keeping this in mind, the establishment of the Uchiha Military Police Force was (most likely) indeed a gesture of goodwill and trust. It was not a slight and it was not an attempt at ostrachization. If anything, it shows that Konoha (and by extension, the police) was corrupt and abusing power on a regular basis (though that is not the point of this post but yes, Konoha's politics are no unchangeable gospel).

There are more misconceptions about Tobirama that are often twisted to fit people's agenda, but I'll leave it at that for now.

My personal conclusion is that Tobirama might fit our real-world definition of "racist". But that heavily depends on your interpretation. Either way, Tobirama was a product of his times.

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[olivegardenhunter]

The sannin as normal childhood friends who have sleepovers and play games in the forest and bond over liking "gross" animals

anon thank you SO much for this mental image. you have made my very miserable assignment-filled day. I have many thoughts about the sannin and baby sannin being inseparable best friends who were just normal kids make up about 90% of them. here's some hc I have about that (sorry for the massively long post, I'm a yapper at heart)

yes absolutely. I like to think of the sannin as misfits who never fit in anywhere else except with each other. there's so many different reasons for this. we know they became genin at age 6. if this makes them the exception, rather than it being the normal practice for a village in tumultuous times, then this must have meant each of them were prodigies in their own rights in the academy (yes, even Jiraiya I'd say, though I'd suspect his was more a case of recognised potential rather than showing any obvious prodigal talent from the get-go). this is further reinforced by the fact the third hokage became their sensei. I doubt the hokage would've taken up any random group of genin as his students. if this is the case, can you imagine how difficult it must've been for them to make friends with others, their age or otherwise? not only would it be hard to relate to their other peers cause of the age and probably ability gap, but I'd imagine people would've found them downright intimidating! all this, along with all their individual personality which, if their 6 year old selves were anything like their 50 year old selves, would've meant the little baby sannin would not have been anyone's first choice of friends.

so I'd imagine each of them being a bit of loners in the academy. then they get put in a team together. recognise they each stick out like a sore thumb from everyone else, but have all of the above common ground. their personalities are difficult for each to get used to initially, but once they do, these three super super super quickly become absolutely inseperable. to call them family would've been a serious underestimate of their relationship imo.

anyway this is all a long winded way of saying YES they're absolutely those regular childhood best friends who have sleepovers and hang out and play games. I imagine that tsunade grew up with a massive family in a massive loving home. direct contrast to orochimaru who's an orphan and, I imagine jiraiya is an orphan too (hence no canon last name). therefore, the senju compound is typically the designated sleepover venue.

the senju compound has mito, and nawaki, and depending on what your hcs are, would have tsunades parents, and I'd think they'd still effectively live like royalties even if the first and second are dead. (hashirama and tobirama wouldn't be around anymore by the time the three became genin I think, because (and someone correct me if I'm wrong) hiruzen would've already been hokage when he took on the three of them as his students, meaning tobirama would have already passed)

jiraiya and orochimaru just being at awe at the way tsunade lives and just how lively her house is and tsunade is just happy to have kids her age at home with her that just gets her cause her parents always nag her about training and chores, mito still treats her like a baby even though she's already a Shinobi that can take care of herself damn it!, and nawaki is so young he's so boring and sometimes gets annoying. so she always convinces her fellow teammates to come over to her house to practice and train, to babysit nawaki with her, to be the test dummy for try out this new jutsu or technique she's learning, and anything else that she insists she cannot do alone and needs them to be there with her

until suddenly it's already dark and oh her teammates can't possibly walk home all alone at this hour and besides my mum's making dinner and it's your favourite jiraiya and she'd scold me if I didn't offer some to you guys and orochimaru, mito found some sort of old scroll that uncle tobirama wrote about a new jutsu that she wants your thoughts on and besides, we have to meet sensei soooo early tomorrow for our mission and the training ground is closer from my house anyway, and you guys are just trying to get out of the bet we made and that's cheating y'know! and and and suddenly the senju compound just so happen to always have a few sets extra clothes and pyjamas that just so happened to be orochimaru and jiraiya's size and hey oro, raiya, look! it's got toads and snakes! and it matches mine! and the adults always just so happen to have two extra plates set at the table during meals, and the house just so happens to always be stocked up with both her teammate's favourite snacks, and orochimaru and jiraiya can suddenly enter the senju compound at any time of the day, with or without tsunade, and are greeted joyfully by the household's residents who had started nagging at them about training and chores and picking up after themselves, and mito is treating them like babies even though they're fully trained shinobis! and nawaki is being sooo annoying today and damn it, why isn't tsunade home yet? we agreed to train at 3!

(the three of them never quite notice that jiraiya or orochimaru's unannounced visits to the senju compound never trigger any of the seals that are activated by the presence of non-senju, non-family chakra in the compound. they never quite notice that the anbu guards at the front never give jiraiya and orochimaru any of the trouble or scrutiny that any visitors or guests to the senju compound are always subjected to, and the guards merely let them in with a slight bow of their heads, the same way they would to tsunade, or mito, or her parents.)

the only other times the sleepover isn't at tsunade's place is when there's a thunderstorm and orochimaru insists he needs to spend the night at his apartment because he tells them that last time the storm was this bad, lightning had struck a branch that smashed through his apartment that, if he wasn't already there and was even a little slower, would have destroyed the very few things his parents had left him that he so carefully keeps in a chest and he cannot ever take the risk that that would ever happen again he lost his power and his food went bad in his fridge, and c'mon tsu, you know oro not-so-secretly has a fear of thunder! don't you remember what happened last time at that mission where we were camping? we can't possibly let him spend the night alone at his house!

(later on when they're older, they'll come to find that jiraiya's new jonin apartment will become the new designated sleepover venue as jiraiya begins bringing back questionable sake from his missions that they were definitely too young to be having that he could not have possibly obtained that legally, and mito started banning them from playing card games at the senju compound when she noticed her granddaughter's tendency to lose her entire pay packet in a single game was becoming a bit too familiar to her... like a certain husband of hers' gambling habits that she had tried so hard to make sure wouldn't get passed on to the grandchild who the man had unwittingly taught said card games to at the age of 4. jiraiya started to call his apartment the degenerates' club then, much to the other two's dismay. though they couldn't quite protest when he correctly pointed out they were absolutely behaving like degenerates, even if princess tsunade and the leaf's once-in-a-generation prodigy felt like they were above those sort of disreputable behaviour.)

jiraiya and orochimaru fight tooth and nail that the massive forest that makes up the backyard of the compound, created by the shodaime himself of course, is the only reason they choose to hang out with tsunade at the senju compound, because princess tsunade (dammit oro stop calling me that!), the shodaime hokage seemed to have left so many fascinating things in this forest, there's so many secrets to discover. I don't think I've seen any of these species anywhere else in Konoha. I believe the secrets to some of his jutsu or techniques lie in this forest... oro you're such a nerd. and besides, Princess, the snakes here really seem to like oro for some reason and I think the toads are about to make me their king, I'm sure of it! and also, me and oro are the only people who don't find the fact you use the slime from those slugs in your potions or whatever absolutely disgusting, so we're the only friends you have to play in this gigantic forest with in the first place (it's not potions, it's a new medicinal gel I'm creating! and can you two just shut up? hide and seek is supposed to be a SILENT game and right now, you both really suck at it! I can literally locate you without even moving!) ...hey tsu, is mito-sama going to make those cookies she made last time again? she told me yesterday she would cause hiruzen-sensei told her we did a good job on our last mission.

the three of them knew everyone in Konoha had started calling them the 'Hokage's brats' behind their backs. but none of them realised that, particularly among the elders, this didn't seem to just be in reference to their sensei... there were other, more hushed whispers going around that if they had tried to listen to, would've sounded something like the adopted senjus... or lord first and second's legacies...

(these rumours may or may not have started when people started noticing tsunade's parents went from talking about their two children they adored, to their three rascals plus sweet little nawaki. or when mito kept comparing jiraiya's antics and personality to hashirama or orochimaru's brooding nature and hunger for knowledge was like tobirama's, or how tsunade's own hot temper and tenacity but also mischief was like her own's and the many Uzumakis that came before her, and that all three of them together balanced each other the way she, hashirama, and tobirama had. or when hiruzen constantly raves about his students and how much he sees his senseis in each of them and how the will of fire burns so brightly in them that he knew lord first and second would be extremely proud to see. in the end, though tsunade may have been the only one who shared a name with the senju founders, everybody couldn't help but see hashirama and tobirama and everything they had been and everything they had stood for in all three of the legendary sannin.)

[nevsclowntown]

Tobirama sexy no jutsu? 😏

the situation was dire enough for tobirama to pull his strongest jutsu

[theshadowrealmitself]

One of my really self indulgent au’s is Tobirama, Hashirama, and Madara coming back to life while team 7 are still tiny genin, except Tsunade has become hokage without Sasuke running off

The three of them come to the conclusion that Naruto is Hashirama’s great great great grandchild (“brother, he has the same chakra as you” “where did you get that necklace?” “Granny Tsunade”) and Hashirama is so excited that Sasuke and Naruto are friendly rivals, and Sasuke won’t let his teammates reveal anything to them because he doesn’t trust these 3 suspicious adults so no one tells Hashirama that Naruto’s not actually Tsunade’s grandkid

[hibiscusseaart]

So about Time Travel Tobirama

He gets back in his childhood, the period when Kawarama was already dead, but Itama still alive, just cuz I like Itama alive and well, ok. (also i love the idea of Itama the weed shinobi by @oh-no-its-bird so)

And he starts to think and strategise smth like "Ok, I need to kill Black Zetsu, but idk where he is. But he should be around Uchihas, so I must come closer. But I cant just go there, we're not in peace, they'd kill me. And I don't exactly know when Black Zetsu is gonna try to manipulate Madara. So I also have to monitor Madara and make sure Izuna doesn't ever dies, to ensure that Madara won't lose his shit".

So, he's really logical and his conclusion was "So the easiest way to monitor the Uchiha clan is to marry an Uchiha." But he can't just marry a random Uchiha, it'd be shitty for politics he is the clan heir after Hashirama after all + it'd be nice way to strengthen peace via marriage. Plus he needs to keep close eye to Madara. So. Marrying Madara it is. Or Izuna. But first of all, Izuna is annoying and second he still needs very carefully look for potential signs of Black Zetsu corruption and it's better to do that when they're in close quarters. So the best case scenario is Madara's hand in marriage.

Killing Madara might be easier, but Hashirama would be sad. Plus I think the ppl who helped him to be sent in the past (coughnaruto who said that) told him smth about that Madara and Hashirama are Indra and Ashura reincarnations and be like "What if daddy Sage gets angry..."

So yeah no killing Madara. Even though he kinda wants to.

And to be clear, he had this plan in the few days he's back in his baby body. He's like 10-12 or whatever, when Hashi starts running to the river to meet Madara. Oh and Itama is safe and sound cuz Tobi said fuck Butsuma and went to safe his baby brother.

So one day Tobirama follows his brother to the river to actually meet Madara before his father decides to fuck everything.

So, Tobirama's the most fucked up honeypot mission officially begun. Tobirama is gonna be like "Ok i need to impress a 12 yo... But I cant just show him a cool jutsu, he might think about me as a rival or whatever... Kids like praise and cool things... Maybe I can tell him that he's cute and find him a cool stick? Should I ask Anija to make a cool stick?"

He meets Madara (without a stick, Hashirama might've suspect smth) and be like "Wow, Anija who would've known you've made such a cute friend" (Tobirama is hard cringing in his head, he's not the best in honeypot missions) and Madara, being about 12 year old, is standing there covered in mud, cuz Hashirama threw him into river or whatever + the little hc that he's kinda ugly when he's in his teens. Like Madara thinks of himself as strong and cool, but not particularly handsome with his wild hair and eye bags.

So Madara is smitten cuz wow pretty boy with red eyes said that He's cute!!!

Tobirama looks at Madara's dopey smile and thinks of the first phase as a success. Now Tobirama starts to spend some time with Hashirama and Madara to monitor their surroundings from their clans, while Itama distracts their father, and also try to win over Madara when he is still an impressionable kid. Plus he starts hinting that they may be Senju and Uchiha and that they should be prepared. But well they're kids who wants to escape all that war and just play with a peer so.

Long story short, Madara be like "So we're gonna make a village and then I'm gonna marry Tobirama!"

Tobi "fuck yes, a bit ahead of the schedule, but sounds good, i'm in"

Hashirama is outraged bc THATS HIS LIL BROTHER!!!

So Tobirama plays hard and makes Madara promise to marry him when they're old enough.

But then well, they're still found out and they still have a fallout cuz of their clans. But Tobirama made them promise to try hard for peace (and marriage), so now they just have to wait til Butsuma dies and Hashirama can become a clan head.

Tobirama tries not to be so efficient at killing Uchihas cuz he will be their family later so he tries to avoid it and just knock out or use some non lethal methods. Hashirama mostly fights Madara and it's almost sparrings at this point. Itama works on his weed empire and learns healing.

Well one day Butsuma dies and Hashirama and Tobirama bully their Elders and rush to try for peace. Tajima (who I think is still alive) is suspicious of all of it and stalls af.

So one day on the battlefield Tobirama says "So, marriage when? You promised asshole", making all the Uchiha and Senju stumble and "HUH?!"

So now many of the Senju and Uchiha now know that Uchiha clan heir apparently proposed to the Senju heir ??? Everyone is confused.

Madara, still crushing hard on Tobirama, catches this opportunity and bullies everyone to allow peace and let him marry Tobirama. Uchiha allow it only cuz everyone knows how crazy Uchihas about loved ones and Madara is the strongest one. They kinda afraid that if they won't allow it, he'd go crazy (he would).

So Madara gets his trophy wife Tobirama, Tobirama gets his safari zone with Uchihas in their natural habitat.

Tobirama is a surprisingly good husband to Madara, cuz with all that Zetsu thing, he's attentive as hell. "Something bothering you, dear husband? Do tell me everything."

At first they think he'd learn things and will tell that all back to Senju, but Tobirama tries to assure them "I don't really care about details. Tell me about how it makes you feel." (he looks for the signs of Zetsu corruption)

So basically Tobirama marries Madara to become his therapist. Madara is very much in love and constantly brags how much his spouse loves him and that he always listens his worries.

Izuna is mad as fuck about all of it btw. He thinks that Tobirama has ulterior motives and hides something. (He's right. ) But Tobirama dutifully plays his part as an attentive spouse and makes plans for bettering Uchiha clan just so that the village won't suffer. He'd probably would prescribe them regular therapy for everyone who awoken Sharingan.

also @fashionredalert write a snippet for this au with madara in the mud! pls check it out!

[madbuns]

i cant explain it but im in love with your giant eldritch horror tobirama. i know it wouldnt be likely but bc im such a madatobi person I just kinda imagine madara being the only human tobirama doesn't hurt jfhfhghghb

Akdjsiu3ukees7seudys7re7reueurydhuturierkr

Eheheh3 Eldritch horror Tobi best Tobi

But yeah I'm madatobi-obsessed too but I'm also obsessed with the wonders of death so Madara's fate is inevitable :(( and so will Izuna's

[oh-no-its-bird]

Team 7 gets zapped into the warring states era but it's like, team 7 either mid or directly after wave-arc.

They're babies!! They're untrained little babies!!! None of them have gotten that good good character development yet!! Kakashi is still actively desperately wanting to not teach them!! (tho he may have just gotten his "ahh fuck. I actually have to teach them, huh." Moment)

Sasuke looks like a carbon copy of a younger Izuna and it's going to cause problems

Naruto thankfully doesn't look much like an Uzumaki, but his tendency to very loudly introduce himself is going to get him into trouble

Going w my usual flavor of "the Hatake are a very small but very famous clan known for being fucking insane", people are seeing Kakashi and going "oh god oh fuck what are one of THOSE guys doing here oh sage preserve us please don't eat me" as Kakashi just kinda stands there like 🧍‍♂️

Sakura is the only one safe from not being fucked up and over her clan, good for her!

-> back to the Hatake thing.

The kids still know virtually nothing about their sensei so they're learning all this stuff about his clan and believing every word of it, from the believable rumors to the insane.

Sakura, in a hushed, worried voice: "Sensei,, is it true ur clan eats people??"

Kakashi, who's father died before he could tell him almost anything about their clan and genuinely doesn't know but at this point is starting to get a little worried about it:

Kakashi, who also never passes up the opportunity to fuck with someone: "only stupid little students who ask stupid little questions <3"

Sakura and Sasuke: *worriedly look at a confused Naruto*

For convoluted reasons they run into the Hatake of the era and after introductions they look at the kids and are like,

"Oh!!! Ok, so this is your kid, right? :)" pointing at Sakura.

And Kakashi is like. ",,no."

"Ohhh, ok. So this one is your kid then?" *points at Naruto*

",,,,,,,,no."

They look at him confused then nod at Sasuke. "So then that one's your kid, right?"

"None of them are my children."

*visibly disapproving / disbelieving side eye*

One big difference between this and the team ro time travel one is how much less trustworthy Kakashi comes off to literally everyone who looks at him.

He's a trained adult shinobi, probable bloodline thief (with no way to prove his innocence), and he has 3 children from 3 different clans (2 of which are indirectly enemies bc the Uzumaki is a Senju ally) (1 of which might have a direct relation to the Uchiha main house) and comes from an infamously volatile "wild clan" from another country entirely (Iron country)

He is NOT getting out of this with talk no jutsu bullshit. He has a target on his back from day 1 and it will take a minor miracle to get even a single person hear him out

Anyways uhh—

Saying Tajima and Butsuma are still alive but due to die in some months (till team 7 accidentally interfere and somehow accidentally save Tajima, maybe also Butsuma but I'm more biased towards Tajima so I'm thinking just him actually)

Kakashi sees baby Kagami and feels like he's been hit by a truck bc he looks just like a miniature Shisui and he has hang-ups about his "suicide"

Half-Hatake Tobirama is catching HEAT from Kakashi's antics. Why does one of ur cousins have a sharingan. Where did he get those children. Do you know anything about this. Is it your duty to help hunt him down bc hes your blood. If not yours then it's definatley the Hatake's, call them immediately and tell them to clean up their mess.

Bloodline theft is like THE ultimate no-no for all shinobi, especially in this era. To the point that even ancient enemies will sometimes temporarily set aside grudges to kill bloodline theives. Kakashi is so fucked, someone get him out of there

Mmmm there are like still bits and pieces of thoughts floating around in my head for this but I can feel myself getting distracted and want to get back to art fight so I'll leave it here for now

[skyahri]

Get Over it |Madara Uchiha X Reader| HC

Summary: You're the Hokage's assistant just trying to do your job.

Warning: Fem pronouns. Madara is an asshole.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

Hashirama was definitely behind you and Madara meeting.

Anytime he needed something delivered to the Uchiha compound, he sent you- his cute little assistant.

Despite the fact that Madara was at the Hokage's office almost daily, you still found yourself making a trip to the compound every evening.

Madara was always rude, asking you why you were bothering him despite already knowing. He'd have you leave whatever it is was you had brought on his desk and shoo you away.

Today, he was a little moodier than usual. Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he was just fed up with you, who knows.

When you knocked on his office door and slid in, he immediately started yelling.

"Must you bother me every day, woman?"

"It's Hokage's orders, Madara-sama."

"Then ignore them. I'm tired of you interrupting me every day."

"I'm afraid I cannot-"

"You can and will. I am Madara Uchiha, head of the Uchiha clan and I order you to-"

"Well, Mr. Madara Uchiha, head of the Uchiha clan, I don't answer to you. I'm afraid you'll just have to take it up with Hashirama or get over it."

And with that you left his office, shutting the door a bit harder behind you than you usually would.

To say Madara was stunned would be an understatement.

Was he just belittled by a civilian woman?

He wouldn't stand for this.

So he immediately made his way to the Hokage building to confront his dear friend about his unruly assistant.

Hashirama just laughed at him, and that made Madara all the more sour.

"Keep your people in check, Hashirama."

"Why? Are you threatened by her? Can't handle being yelled at?"

He stormed out after Tobirama started snickering at him.

The next day, he anxiously waited for your arrival. He'd been stewing over your encounter from the previous day and it wss fueling the fire in his belly.

So when he heard your usual knocks, he stood up and made himself as big as possible, like a bear.

You walked in, unphased by his damming aura, handed him a single scroll, and turned to leave.

He moved in front of the door to stop you from leaving, not satisfied by how this encounter was going.

"You will speak to me with respect from now on. I do not tolerate such behavior."

"Yeah, I still don't answer to you. My job is to be amicable, not a kiss ass. So again, take it up with Hashirama, or get over it."

You put your hand on his arm and gently moved him out of the way of the door. He allowed this, for whatever reason, and just watched as you made your way out.

Now you'd definitely caught his interest.

It's not that he liked being talked down to, it that he loved being challenged.

For the next few weeks, he allowed you to do your job without issue. He'd just stare at you as you came in, delivered whatever stupid thing Hashirma had sent, and left.

That is until today, when you had shown up several hours later than usual. It was dark out, and you were visibly tired.

"You're late."

"My apologies, Madara-sama. It was busier than usual today."

You handed him the envelope and turned to leave, ready to finally be done with the day.

You noticed Madara get up and move alongside you, but didn't pay much mind. It was entirely possible he was just making his way home as well.

Until you'd arrived at the gates of the compound, he was still at your side.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm escorting you home."

"Um, okay? May I ask why?"

"Hashirama is a fool for allowing you to wonder the village at night unaccompanied. I feel I must make up for his stupidity and ensure you get home safely."

You just nodded. It was honestly a relief.

The office had been overwhelmed today because of rogue shinobi reports in the area. Having Madara with you basically guaranteed you'd have a safe trip, so you didn't argue with him any further.

The next few days went similarly.

A cluster of reports and actual captured rogues had kept you up to your neck with work until odd hours of the night.

After the first few instances of you showing up late, Madara had taken it upon himself to meet you at the Hokage's tower. You were thankful, with for the relief from walking all the way to the compound and also to have your own personal guard.

He kept doing this even after things had settled down, and before he knew it, he'd grown quite fond of your presence.

Your nightly walks had turned more casual and became more frequent outside of your working hours.

Over time he'd opened up to you and that's when the relationship really blossomed.

He was torn between his traditional values and his aversion to emotions, but eventually, he caved and asked to court you.

Obviously, you said yes, and so started the beginning of a lifelong relationship with the unlikely man.

[lale-txt]

what gets their heart pounding... ♡ [partly ns.fw] ↳ w/ Kakashi, Obito, Madara & Tobirama

a/n: reader is gn! Lale, you can't write those hcs for every series you enjoy—I CAN AND I WILL. i got positively possessed while writing these and now i'm thinking about turning each of them into a oneshot. picked my two favorite Uchihas and my two fav white haired men for this round, but i have other chars for this in the drafts already >:3c

❦ 𝐊𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈

the subtle touches when you’re together; hands brushing, pinkies almost interlocking, your fingers tapping his arm to get his attention, his hand on the small of your back for a brief second when you move through a crowd; as if your bodies are simply drawn to each other

the urge to adjust your headband or to brush a strand of hair behind your ear when you’re too lost in thought to notice, only to snap out of it and look at him with those curious doe eyes, so full of life

the way your tongue pokes out between your lips when you patch up his wounds after a mission together; you’re so focused on his well-being that it makes Kakashi’s heart melt

your mumbled “you’re too reckless, i worry about you” that reveals just how deep that love for him runs, making it impossible for him to shove his own feelings aside any longer

the small gasp you let out when he pulls down his mask to kiss you with hunger and an unknown softness, as if he was afraid of waking up from the sweetest dream

realizing he’s not dreaming at all when you’re lying tangled in the soaked sheets together and try to catch your breaths, skin on skin, sparking little fires everywhere

your hand on his chest, feeling his fluttering heartbeat, eyes glued on your fingers as they wander down lower his stomach, until his cock is twitching in your fist and shortly after inside of you again

❦ 𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐎

everything, anything you do. this man’s heart falters the moment he feels your presence nearby.

hearing his name roll off your pretty tongue, a sound like velvet, catching him off guard whenever you call out for him, your face lightening up when he turns towards you (not knowing you’re his whole sun)

your fingertips tracing the scars on his face; a thing he has never allowed anyone before to do so, but with you… it’s different. you’re being so gentle, it makes him want to place his bare heart into your open palms 

feeling your soft skin for the first time when his hands wander underneath your clothes, exploring every inch of you paired with the sweet sounds you make, his breath hitching in his throat

your pleading eyes when you tug on the hem of his shirt, silently asking for it to come off, as if he could ever resist you. as if the essence of his soul wasn’t already stained in your colors.

the way your eyes flutter wide open when he reveals this scarred body of his and how warm your lips feel on his skin when you kiss and lick and suck from the side of his neck down to his hip bones 

now it’s your name falling out of his mouth, between broken moans, when that pretty mouth of yours wraps around his throbbing cock, lapping up everything he has to offer you and you’re doing it oh so willingly 

❦ 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐀

the sound of your laughter coming through the open window with the warm summer breeze. you’re his sweet new neighbor and he’s been smitten with you ever since you showed up on his doorstep, a plate of inarizushi in your hands to introduce yourself

seeing you reading in a corner the backyard, that little frown on your face while the tip of your nose almost touches the scrolls; you’re so eager for knowledge and he can’t help but admire this

the complete shift in your expression when you notice his presence (barely anyone does, at least not like you do), your whole face brightening up as you wave at him

hearing you late at night, when you don’t realize just how thin these walls are, the sweet sounds of your moans when you touch yourself. Marada can’t help but wonder, are you thinking about him? you couldn’t possibly… right?

feeling how hard he is when he finally gives in to the temptation, palming himself to the muffled sounds of yours, only a thin wall between the two of you, you so blissfully unaware of the mess you’ve made out of him when he spills himself in his hollow fist

seeing you again in the backyard a few days later, except that this time your kimono is hiked up to your hips, your legs spread wide, giving him a good visual on what happened on the other side of the wall

his sharingan ablaze, taking in the view of you, until you gesture him to come closer, closer, till he’s on his knees in front of you, showing you just how much he adores you…

❦ 𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀

the way you lean over him when he’s sitting at his desk in the hokage office, pointing out something on the scroll in front of him, but you’re making it so hard for him to focus with your chest pressing against his shoulder and that sweet smell of yours entangling him

the startled sounds you make when he wraps a blanket around your shoulders after you’ve fallen asleep in your office once again, and the way you drift back into sleep when you notice it’s him and that you can feel safe here

your apologetic smile when he’s scolding you the next day for working too much; as if he wasn’t missing out on sleep for the sake of the village and doesn’t secretly admire your passion and drive (being oblivious that maybe, maybe, you just want an excuse to spend more time by his side) 

the small “oh” coming out of your mouth one night, when you’re in the archive together, searching for one specific scroll, but instead his lips finds yours and suddenly your fingers are in his hair and his are pulling you closer by the hips and that scroll is completely forgotten (it was never about the scroll)

the tension between you unloading when you straddle his lap and all the useless fabric between you is shoved aside hastily so you can sink yourself fully onto his thick length

feeling you tremble on top of him until he wraps his arms around you, holding you so close to him while he slowly works you open, his lips on your neck, his dark, calm voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear while you clench around him 

[itachislbeloved]

Look at that

"Look at that. Look up in the mirror, or I will stop. Keep looking at the way your whore of a pussy is clenching so hard around me. Look at the way it is holding onto me for dear life." As he said that, you looked up to see your disheveled state. Your face was red from all the crying and still he had one of his hands wrapped around your neck while he continued pounding in you from behind. You could see his other hand rubbing on your clit from the mirror, as it added more to your pleasure.

"Yes, just like that, my dirty little whore, if you close your eyes or stop looking at us in the mirror I will stop." He warned you as you looked in the mirror at the sinful image of him pounding in your sensitive pussy. You continued moaning as he continued pounding in you, "Choke me harder please." You begged as he chuckled in a deep voice, in your ear from behind, "You like it, slut, huh? You like it when I choke you?" He asked as he choked you harder and you could feel your head feel lighter as he continued pounding more into you. His thrusts got more rough and you were sure that his grip on your throat would leave marks.

You couldn't help the loud moans that escaped past your lips due to his relentless thrusts. You looked at the image of you two in the mirror through your half lidded eyes as you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge and he chuckled in your ear as he felt you clench around him tightly, "Are you going to cum, my little slut?" You could just nod your head and looked at him with a pleading look through the mirror and his hand tightened around your throat as he whispered in your ear from behind, "Come around me, make a mess, show me how much of a dirty little whore you are."

As soon as those words escaped his lips, you came undone around him and heavy breaths escaped your lips while his poundings didn't stop and you felt him twitch in you and you grinded your hips around him, "Mhm, darling, I'm going to come in you, is that what you want? Want me to pump you full of my cum till it oozes out, hm?" He asked in a hoarse voice and you couldn't speak anything but just nod your head with little whimpers escaping your lips as he pounded in your sensitive pussy. "Fucked you so dumb that you can't even form a sentence, huh." He said smugly and you felt ropes of thick cum paint your insides and you yourself felt cumming around him again.

---------------------------------------------------

Geto, Toji, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Sanemi Shinezugawa, Gojo, Shisui, Sasuke, Gaara, Sukuna, Madara, Tobirama.

(I can't think of other characters, do let me know if I missed others <3)

I don't know what this is I just wrote anything I'm so sorry😭

[dark-konohagakure2]

Madara taking advantage of Hashirama's sheltered younger sister? Like so sheltered that she doesn't even really know anything about sex

tw: dubcon, corruption, size difference, gentle to rough sex, manipulation, coercion, degradation, implied hashimada, sadism, dacryphillia, threats

All characters depicted are 18+

Madara isn't very close with Hashirama's siblings, him and Tobirama have been on bad terms since they were children, and Hashirama's little sister is a shy thing even in adulthood, always hiding behind her brothers and rarely leaving the house, but lately Madara has been finding himself more and more drawn to this meek little mouse.

Hashirama and Tobirama haven't been around their sister as much lately due to their duties as Hokage and Hokage's advisor respectively, so the poor little Senju princess has been lonely lately. Usually Madara wouldn't care about some girl's silly problems, but now he feels obligated to provide some company and comfort for his dear little friend.

He can't help but notice what a lovely and well endowed young woman she's grown up into, Madara isn't usually one to give into lust, he's a scary looking man, not to mention he has more important things to worry about than his primal base desires, but he's only a man, so it's not like he'd be opposed to shoving his cock into a hole with a cute face and body attached to it.

Initially Madara just decides to pin her down and ravage her right then and there, but when she starts asking a million questions about what he's doing, seemingly oblivious to what he's doing even as his cock is out and fully erect. Madara would be charmed by her innocence if it wasn't so irritating, he knew she was naive but this is just ridiculous. While not known for his patience, Madara opts to take a more gentle, albeit manipulative approach.

"Are you daft, girl? This is called fu- ahem... It's called 'making love'... It's something you do with your dear friends, and we are friends aren't we, little one?"

He'll be uncharacteristically gentle with her... initially. He doesn't want to break then illusion of lovemaking just yet, at least not until he gets his cock adjusted to her impossibly tight cunt, she's so tight around him that it almost hurts, and she certainly squeezes him harder than her eldest brother does.

But unfortunately for her, Madara being Madara can't stay gentle for very long, he's a warrior who aims for dominance, not equality, or gods forbid submission to her silly little pleas for 'gentle' and 'slower'. He'll abruptly switch from shallow and gentle thrusts to a savage and brutal pounding to her unprotected cunt, not caring if it hurts her, this isn't about making her feel good, it's about getting his rocks off.

The sudden change of pace will startle and confuse the poor girl, and she'll start blubbering like a sniveling child, asking what he's doing and what she did wrong to deserve him being so mean to her. Normally Madara would simply shut her and her insolent whining up, but he'd be lying if he said that watching her cry and whine beneath him didn't make him go absolutely feral.

In the end he'll leave her battered and leaking with his essence, her ass and thighs covered in large red handprints and her pussy stretched from his cock and gushing with his cum. Madara doesn't have time to appreciate his handiwork however, those imbecile big brothers of hers are going to be home soon after all, and he doesn't need yet another deathmatch with the Senju.

"Congratulations. You were a halfway decent cum dumpster. Now, not a word about this to those idiot brothers of yours if you value your life. Understand?"

Hashirama is none the wiser, thanking his old friend for watching over his beloved sister while he was away. Madara will accept the thanks without hesitation, he did do a good job, at giving her a reality check that is.

[belit0]

ahh, i just found out tobirama was about 40 when he became hokage! which makes him even hotter🤭. can you do a hokage tobirama and his young pregnant shy wife meeting his family and like people around the village

I need to EXPLICTLYYYY know where you got that information from bc confirming that he was a daddy brings a different flavor to his character🫠❤️‍🩹

For clarification purposes: Madara is blind in this piece. Hashirama healed Izuna before he died, under Madara's acceptance of peace, and Aniki never took his younger brother's eyes, preferring to go blind rather than steal his sight.

No one dares to look him in the eye, let alone question the possessive hand that won't let go of (Y/N)'s hips. Her belly is too prominent to deny the situation, but no one is used to seeing the current Hokage with his wife.

Senju Tobirama devoted himself to hiding the woman he promised as a bride, unable to tolerate stares at her and unfortunate comments. Both men and women would send lust and desire toward her, and he would have no way to stop them all. What better remedy than to shelter (Y/N) until his ownership is undeniable?

Tobirama can be quite capricious.

The man even went as far as not allowing his own older brother to meet her, Hashirama himself excluded from the equation. To think that the former Hokage could betray his younger brother like that was ridiculous to everyone, but it wasn't about lust with him. No.

Tobirama hid (Y/N) because he refused to lose the one ray of light in his life (after Anija's solar shower, of course). His past is made up of death and disappointment, built as an unfeeling weapon of war by his father, robbed of the ability to empathize with anyone until the creation of Konoha.

His wife brought a peace he didn't know he needed into his life, a breath of fresh air even as nations struggled to not cooperate with peace, freedom among so much horror and suffering. (Y/N) showed him that life could be spent out of survival mode, that he could relax for sleep and accept another person into his bed without danger.

Having found what he always sought without knowing it, Tobirama could not afford to lose it.

Keeping her away from everything and everyone (beyond his possible jealousy) was also composed by the need to protect her, to remove her from the spotlight that inevitably comes with being the Hokage's future wife, to prevent her from being used against him. The albino's attitudes were based on affection, but now that (Y/N) is round with his creation, full of him, he can't help but proudly display her.

He strolls through the market streets with his head held high and his wife tightly in his grip, shooting hostile glances at anyone who looks at them for more than five minutes at a time. Of course he expects people to be surprised, but he doesn't want her to end up with the evil eye either.

"Hokage-Sama! Here, here!" shouts a little old lady from his favorite food stall. He can't ignore people from his village, those who trust him, and comes up to her stall to give her a smile unbecoming of Tobirama. "You look very happy, Hokage-Sama!"

"Ah... how could a man not be, having such a beautiful woman by his side?" And (Y/N) blushes, waving slightly at the little old lady and trying to hide the redness of her cheeks behind the sleeve of her yukata.

The elderly woman smiles, and hands them both a small package of food without accepting anything in return, "here, here, take this, enjoy life!" She practically pushes them out of her stall, and they resume walking to the point they agreed on with Hashirama.

People stare and stare at them, some even dare to congratulate the Hokage, give him blessings, ask if he could feel how many children are there. Some inquiries make him uncomfortable, and with just a blunt look he gets rid of those prying eyes.

They receive more gifts along the way, offerings of love and respect, food and decorations, townspeople declaring their eagerness to meet the Hokage's offspring. Tobirama would not expect to have interacted with so many people in such a short distance, and his social battery is noticeably drained, squeezing (Y/N) more and more protectively against his body.

By the time they reach Hashirama's house, the Hokage no longer wants anything to do with anyone.

"Ayoooooo! Tobi! You made it!" his older brother waits for them sitting at the door, like a little kid waiting for his dad to come home from work. The problem is, Hashirama is not a child, and not little one either. He pounces on the two, wrapping his arms around them and pressing their faces to his chest, invasive and effusive as always but enhanced by (Y/N)'s presence.

"Aaaa! (Y/N)! Finally released from your confinement! It's so beautiful to finally meet you!" Anija lets go of him, only to squeeze her separately, give her kisses on the crown of her head and clench her cheeks like a grandmother. Yes, Hashirama could be compared to a grandmother. "Have you looked... I mean, in there? See what's in there? We could ask Izuna to-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. It's a surprise." Tobirama pulls (Y/N) out of his arms, and hugging her enters the house he knows by heart. He heads straight for the courtyard, where he knows Hashirama (who comes behind him with his head down and feigning sadness) enjoys afternoons of tea.

Of course, he does not expect the surprise his brother has prepared for him there.

The whole clan, the whole damn family is gathered around a huge table, different from the one Anija prefers for his solitary lunches. Sitting in the two main seats, the Uchiha brothers, who have no business in a Senju house, full of Senju men and women.

Is this what peace looks like? Graphically represented? Tobirama wants to vomit.

"TOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" He is greeted by his entire family as a whole, and the elders soon hover over both of them. Females kidnap (Y/N) to shower her with questions and love, all a carbon copy of how Hashirama behaves but boosted to the tenth.

The albino is also abducted, but by the young men and his older brother, who seems to have regained his cheerfulness. They sit him down in front of the Uchiha brothers, and it's like sending a cow to the slaughter.

"Tobi Tobes... I didn't know your family called you like that, neither that your wife was SO pregnant... He hides too many things from us, right Aniki?" Izuna starts, as usual, not missing a chance to poke him with whatever comes in front of him.

"Hm."

"How many children do you have there? 3? She's... prominent!"

"Get my wife out of your mouth before I make you remember why the war existed in the first place." It's a blunt threat, and the young men around him tense up. Peace is old at this point, but the habits of a life that no longer exists are hard to forget.

"He's joking! Yes, yes, he's kidding! No tobi?" Hashirama tries to disperse the waters, and it works, at least with those who don't know them inside out. Madara knows what's coming, and so does he somehow.

"You want me to see how many are there? With the Sharingan, I mean... it's not like I actually want to get inside-"

"Izuna. Enough." Aniki tries, and succeeds until the albino glares at his little brother.

"Madara... you're blind, but if only could you see the size of that woman's belly..."

"IZUNA!" This time it's Hashirama, who gets indignant every time the Uchiha speaks so lightly about his brother's eye condition. Maybe it's the way they both have of cooperating with the situation, but it's still terrible in his ears.

The Uchiha leader chuckles under his breath, and it's all the validation Izuna needs to go on.

"So, what do you say, Tobi Tobes, want to check it out?" and before he can activate his Dōjutsu, two huge branches stop them both. Tobirama, who was in the process of pulling out a kunai and jumping to his throat, is imprisoned in his seat. Izuna, about to reveal the mystery the couple wanted to keep, has a huge trunk wrapped around his head in the eye area.

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you too."

"Fuck all of you guys." And everyone turns around in surprise, because this time it's (Y/N) doing the talking. She puts a hand on her husband's shoulder, dodging the wood on him, and gives a pleasant smile to the Uchiha brothers. "We'll find out how many children are here at the time of delivery, for the time being, I appreciate your efforts, Lord Izuna."