#to work ur way through without even realising. they need to sell them by the crateful

[steelycunt]

dairy milk fingers currently discounted in sainsburys because i have a nectar card however unfortunately im at a point where i finish a whole tray in one sitting so i bought two this afternoon instead and have already made it through one </3

[cuinnamonbun]

Hi again! I got another HC idea. 😌

How would the brothers + angels react to a laidback Muslim MC whose also really violent? Like their mood switch flips instantly lmao

Aye, wassup friend! Regarding your ask, at this point you’re just describing ME lmao, somedays I really do just wake up and choose violence 😭 aite let’s do this 😎

The Demon Brothers + Angels Reacting to a Laidback Muslim!MC Turning Violent

Lucifer

At first this man loves MC and the amount of calm and composure that they have

Though he finds it irritating when he’s threatening them and they would just look up at him with the most dull expression on their face (like seriously human, you should be SCARED)

But still, with how chaotic his brothers are, he appreciates a collected and peaceful demeanour whenever he finds it and MC is breath of fresh air even if he won’t admit it

Silence with them always felt comforting and never awkward

One day, he noticed that MC was rather tense and rigid and had asked them if they were fine to which they replied yes through gritted teeth

Sensing that perhaps they were not in the best of moods, he let them go only to hear them politely ask Mammon to get out of their room

Of course our resident dumbass (affectionate) refused in an attempt to tease them, only to be YEETED from the room and into the hallway where Lucifer was standing with a bewildered look on his face

MC was standing by the door with a dark look in their eyes and the most sinister looking scowl that could rival Satan’s before they slammed the door shut in their faces

When he finally got over his shock, he would be extremely, extremely enthused

He will now spend his free time trying to rile up MC just so he can see them lose their temper again

He couldn’t help himself. He knew that Islam emphasises heavily on the virtues of patience as a sign of piety and so he just assumes that MC would just,,,,never yield to anything

This is when he realises he has a corruption kink ok sorry not sorry

May or may not pop a boner if/when he succeeds and they blow up (not literally) in his face

Mammon

He adores this human. Partly because he’s head over heels in love with them he hardly has anyone to drag with him along with his schemes and this human just seems to be down for anything, and mostly because they’re always so coolheaded

It allows him to pull off his plans without a hitch because MC’s composure allows them to be able to think up a quick solution whenever the two of them inevitably face a brick wall during one of Mammon’s schemes

With them around, Mammon would be 15% richer than he would be if he went alone so he’s keeping them around thank u very much

The first time he witnessed them turn violent is when the two of them were hanging out in his room when Levi bursted in, screaming his head off about how Mammon stole his wallet (he didn’t) and that the limited edition Ruri-chan collection was dropping soon in 24 hours and yada yada yada

And when he found out that Mammon didn’t, in fact, steal it, Levi wouldn’t apologise, oh no no no no. Rather, he would proceed to insult and degrade his brother until MC finally have had enough and went. off.

Seriously, the two demons were so shocked that the usually chill human was now on their feet and threatening to ‘deck Levi over the head WWE style if he didn’t quit it with the insults’ that the two brothers just stopped arguing

If Mammon weren’t so astounded, he would’ve found the whole thing hilarious because here is one of the rulers of Hell, turning white as a sheet as he is being cussed out by a small, furious human

After their long-winded (and frankly terrifying) speech that were riddled with not-so-subtle threats, Levi mumbled an apology and quickly shuffled out of the room with his tail between his legs and MC just plopped back down on his couch with their usual dull expression back on their face as if they didn’t just go on a tirade just seconds prior

Mammon’s love for the MC increased tenfold right then and there

Leviathan

Oh, you’re really quiet and laidback? Cool.

He doesn’t really care about it but he does enjoy having them around during his gaming sessions or when he needs a buddy to watch anime with him because they’re the only ones who would listen to him prattle on about theories and endings whilst enjoying the game/anime

He also vents to them A LOT and is the first person he seeks whenever he’s annoyed or frustrated by his brothers

He was heading over to the living room for movie night with his brothers and MC when he found his brothers all bickering with one another (no shocker there) and MC sitting on the couch reading a hard cover book

Of course, once they saw him enter, he was immediately dragged into the argument about which movie they were gonna watch

Now as the otaku of the family, Levi’s pretty very vocal and highly opinionated about the type of film they should watch for movie night and he dislikes it whenever someone would argue with him on his choice of film

So when Satan told him to his face that his movie selection sucked and he should just leave his input out, Levi would be so, so, SO offended and upset which was evident from his expression alone

Before he could defend himself though, a book suddenly went hurtling through the air and hit Satan right in the middle of his forehead like a bullseye

At first Satan was FURIOUS but it quickly died down when all the brothers finally realised where the book had come from: MC’s direction

They all turned to see an irritated look on their usually placid face and dominant arm raised as if they’d just thrown a shot put

“Oops. My hand slipped,” they said monotonously before sauntering away from the now-quiet living room

Levi is now cautious of accidentally angering MC, but he can’t help that moe feeling that MC actually threw that book in his defense

Satan

As the Avatar of Wrath, Satan is extremely attuned to people’s rage and MC is no different

He was honestly the only one out of his brothers who wouldn’t be surprised if one day MC woke up and chose violence

I mean, he usually keeps his wrath under wraps, hiding it well with an easy smile and friendly demeanour and he could tell that MC was the same

He knew that no one human could ever have that high amount of patience, especially when dealing with his brothers, doesn’t matter if they’re religious or not

In fact, he was waiting for the day he would finally see them snap and release all the pent up rage he knew they bottle carefully within themselves

Of course it happened when Asmo would not stop pestering MC about going to the club

As MC is a Muslim, it’s not a surprise that they’re against going to places like clubs, casinos or bars

Usually MC was able to tune out Asmo’s pleas like white noise but it was when Asmo turned to physically dragging them that became the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back

The poker-faced MC now looked more like an Avatar of Wrath than Satan himself

Satan only watched in amusement as MC dug their heels in the pavement, cradled a confused Asmo’s face in their hands...and pulled his cheeks with a bright smile and the most ominous look in their eyes before telling him ‘fuck off before I proceed to give all of ur prized makeup and skincare for Mammon to sell and use our pact to make u watch as he earns his cash’ in the sweetest way possible

Asmo no longer pesters them to join him clubbing

Satan: I’d just like to say, I’m your biggest fan

Asmodeus

Asmo loves loves LOVES having this human around because they always let him use them as his own personal doll

That means impromptu fashion shows in his room, makeovers, spa days, mani-pedis you name it

So he always assumed they were this paragon of patience and stoicism, never once losing their cool

The first time he saw them turn violent was when the two of them were walking down to the kitchen with Asmo chatting their ear off about some scandal this succubus has found herself in with these two demon best friends while they just listened and occassionally chiming in

When they reached the kitchen however, they found Beel by the kitchen, no shocker there

But MC had stopped dead in their tracks because right there in his hands was the chilled lemon soufflé that they’d been making for Lucifer (upon his request)

It’d taken them hours to perfect the dessert to Lucifer’s standards and they’d left it in the fridge to chill before serving it to him for tea time

So when Beel raised the now-empty glass to show to MC with a happy look on his face, it was enough to send them over the edge and scream bloody murder to the brothers’ surprise

Beel will apologise sheepishly but MC will force him to remake the dessert without letting him eat anything until it is perfect

It was torture for him and Asmo vows to never unintentionally set them off again because...holy shit MC

Beelzebub

Beel is a chill dude most of them time when he’s not hungry

All he wants is for his brothers to stay safe, happy and healthy and he’s a happy demon 🥺

He likes having a laidback MC around whether it’s during studying, snacking or even when he’s working out

Their presence is always so calming and comforting for him since their lax nature just reminds him so much of Belphie

The first time he saw them truly angry was when they’d found out that their favourite sweater that they brought back from the human world had been destroyed and discarded in the trash

As it turned out, Belphie had been rumaging through their room for something to snuggle with while MC had been away at Purgatory Hall and found their sweater

In an unfortunate string of events, a loose thread from the sweater had caught on the end of a door latch and the sleepy Belphegor hadn’t enough patience at the time to gently untangle it

Instead, he forcefully yanked it, causing the sweater to tear

Deciding that it’s better to just grab their blanket or something, Belphie discarded the article of clothing in the trash before stealing their blanket and stalking away to the attic for a nap

When MC found out, they. were. furious.

That means a lot of smashing, screaming and shouting until Beelzebub or Lucifer finally managed to calm them down

He’s sad that MC is so angry at his twin but he never wanted to see MC lose their temper like that ever again

Belphegor

Exam season was rapidly approaching at RAD and that means more assignments, quizzes and tests 

For the average student, it also means sleepless nights, mental breakdowns and consuming a concerning amount of caffeine

For Belphegor, he simply couldn’t give a shit

No amount of exams is scary enough to get his ass out of bed and study 

And like his other brothers, he assumed the same for MC

They always had that poker face on them as they studied and they never once argued or talked back to one of his brothers even though they were being so annoying and irritating (to him) and were clearly disturbing their revision time

He sees the hard work that they’re putting in their studies and reputation and even though they hide it behind a blasé mask, he knew they were exhausted

It was up to Belphegor to recognise their cues and force them to take breaks by napping with him

He was peacefully napping in the common room beside a studying MC, patiently waiting for their 25 minute break from their pomodoro session when Lucifer had walked in and begun to bark chores at them that even woke up the younger demon beside them

And to their surprise, rather than wordlessly carrying out his commands like the demons had expected them to, MC slammed their pen down on the coffee table and yelled at him

MC: you know what, Lucifer? Why don’t you take your ***** and ****** then shove it up your ****** and let’s not forget to *****, you little ***** ***** *****!!!

Belphegor had never been more proud and concerned for this little human who was far too brave for their own good

Simeon

It’s said by everyone who knew him that Simeon is always so calm and composed, always greeting everybody with a kind smile and gentle eyes

He never once loses his cool, but that doesn’t mean that he does not feel anger from time to time

Like Satan, Simeon is understanding of MC’s anger and would never reprimand them for blowing up

Anger is healthy after all

He has expressed concern before for MC’s mental wellbeing as they were far too patient for their own good

Of course, in all his years of living, he has seen remarkable humans with superhuman patience before like the Prophets Muhammad and Jesus (peace be upon them) but even that was because they had divine intervention 

The first time he saw them finally snap was when the two of them were enjoying a pleasant walk towards the House of Lamentation from RAD when Mammon and Levi appeared out of nowhere and began fighting again

It had been non-stop screaming, insulting and fighting with these two for almost three weeks now and MC was so, so, sooo close to yeeting them off the side of a cliff

Their composure finally snapped when Mammon and Levi had been roughhousing so close to them that they accidentally stepped on Simeon’s robe (or is it more of a cape?? idk) and tore a small hole in it

Simeon has never been more surprised to see MC roar at them and begin a stern lecture that reminded him so terribly of Lucifer

He was so amused that he couldn’t help but laugh when they forced the two to apologise to him before dragging them over to the House by their ears, completely ignoring their desperate cries for mercy 

It was a hilarious sight and he would’ve recorded that entire scene on his DDD if he weren’t so hopeless with technology

Luke

MY SONNN

Luke is reminded of Simeon when he first got to know MC

They were always so collected and level-headed even though they were thrown in Hell out of the blue for an exchange programme that lasts a whole year

He never understood how they could be so chill with living with 7 demons under one roof though like??? hello????? human are u functioning well?

But he likes having them around because they’re always so nice to him and always keen on spending time with him

Which is where he finally saw them snap

The two of them were carrying their cupcakes that they’d made for their picnic date alongside Simeon and Solomon and had left them on the table for a few minutes while they went to gather the rest of the supplies

They came back to see that the cupcakes had been ravaged by Mammon, Levi and Beel who all looked so pleasantly happy munching on their hard work

Luke was extremely distraught and upset over this and protective MC will NOT tolerate this kind of behaviour to their son

So using the power of the pacts, they forced the brothers to grovel at his feet and apologise by doing whatever Luke wants them to do

He wants a glass of water? LEVI GET UR ASS TO THE KITCHEN RN! He wants pizza? MAMMON U RUN UR CUT LIL BUTT TO HELL’S KITCHEN AND GET HIM A LARGE PIZZA STAT! He wants to be fed? BEEL U BETTER MOVE THAT FOOD FROM UR MOUTH SON AND FEED IT TO HIM ASAP!

Luke secretly enjoys it but he still can’t help but feel kinda bad for the brothers and slightly scared of MC now

[kidhawks]

With hummingbird Hawks... Maybe his audience would also extend to students, mainly high school and middle school (?) especially girls, but boys could also be included. It's just because in Japan, what is considered cute tends to be more appreciated and popular—. Maybe it's possible for him to have more fans? Lmao. If they make popularity contest, Hawks being no. 1, mainly because he's cute...

His interaction with Endeavor 🤔 it wouldn't change too much, only Hawks' attitude, I think. Pro-heroes will constantly underestimated him (but less than the public, since they're used to him). Younger ones won't hesitate too much, tho jdjdd.

So... it's settled that the way he presents himself will change. If the facade that Hawks presents to the public is more laid-back, and also has a more attractive look for young adults :p hummingbird Hawks, as you said, is more energetic, with a cute boyish look... So, he appears even more childish, especially with his facial expressions? They would be similar, but the feeling between canon Hawks and hummingbird Hawks is different. Canon Hawks looks more bratty, inmature yet funny, and hummingbird Hawks is just... cute. People will laugh at him because they think that he's adorable. Actually, he probably wouldn't hesitate too much in doing things that could be seen as childish because he knows that people see him more as a kid than a hero, so it would feel more "in character"? The relationships during his infiltration could change a lot, along with his approach to how he convinces them. Like, people may think that since he's cute, he gets a pass to act more insistent— annoyingly insistent and more direct with what he needs (plus being energetic and chatty), unlike canon Hawks (who is more relaxed with this) without a problem, when usually, that would make people inmediately mistrust you. Will definitely play the oblivious card more often than before, too!

I don't think he will do it that much, though, just enough to fit his facade and when he sees an opportunity 👀 he definitely won't use all these things constantly, or people wouldn't appreciate him. I love this au too much, uuuuh.

sorry for a late reply ;; i’m going through my inbox finally!!

oh YES hawks manages to be popular amongst almost every demographic with his hummingbird quirk bc he’s just adorable (but also snarky). u can’t help but love him

oooh his dynamic with endeavor and other pros! he probably gets called a nuisance by endeavor a lot because he’s constantly flitting about getting and up in ur business.... he’s just as playful with endeavor as he is in canon but now more physically so if that makes sense? he comes across as pretty harmless and can get away with buzzing around like an annoying fly.... which endeavour tries to swat away, and ofc hawks is too fast for him lmao but it makes for some entertaining candids

AAAH i love all your ideas so much every time!!! hawks very much plays the fool in canon when he can get away with it, but now that’s kind of amplified. i actually think that canon hawks shows how wise he is pretty often and a lot of other heroes can see that, but i reeeaaally like the idea of hummingbird hawks having a steadfast ditsy persona that doesn’t waver (all the more fun when others realise he’s not what he seemed). not to angst it but.... the footage of tiny, upbeat hummingbird hawks stabbing twice would hit so much harder.

i wonder how he’d convince the league he’s on their side? “i don’t belong in a cage” stills works but maybe now he can also hint that he doesn’t feel like he’s treated as a person, just a cute product to be marketed (a little bit of truth always sells a lie better). perhaps twice would see him not just as a friend but someone he wants to protect since hawks comes across so young.... ah now i’m just hurting my own feelings i’ll stop

[iceslushii]

So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.

So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.

It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.

Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.

Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.

Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.

You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".

Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".

If I ever get out o

Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.

So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.

They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.

Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!

Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.

The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.

Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.

Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.

Years.

[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]

Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.

Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.

We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.

Oops, asking the journal questions again!

I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.

I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.

The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.

We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.

Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.

Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.

Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.

A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.

The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.

I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.

Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.

It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.

One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.

No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.

Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.

I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.

But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.

The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.

Well. That was a fun train of thought.

Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.

Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.

We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.

Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.

Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.

The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.

Exchange is

I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.

It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.

I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.

My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.

Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye

[taegis-gf]

Forbidden - Part 2

Dealer!yoongi x Reader

Warnings ➜ smut, oral (m receiving), non-protected sex, tiny bit of angst

Summary ➜ You never meant to lock eyes with the beautiful stranger at Namjoon’s house party, you also didn’t mean to completely fall for him, knowing exactly how dangerous it was.

Word Count ➜ 7.6K

Part 1 here!

NB: if drug-taking in fics isn’t for you/or makes you uncomfortable, also reader is literally getting with a drug dealer so if any of this isn't for you  - please don’t read!

The next morning you wake up with a killer headache and a dry mouth.

You turned to your right and saw a passed-out Taehyung lying next to you. Your eyes widened as you quickly tried to recall last night’s events.

After your phone call with Yoongi you had gone back downstairs and partied. Hard.

You remembered at about 5am you were too tired and Jin had announced you could sleep in any of the bedrooms, Taehyung had followed you to talk but you both had just ended up passing out.

You smiled, remembering Taehyung had been concerned with no ulterior motives, you two were just talking complete nonsense however for about an hour before you both had just fallen asleep.

You reached out to the bedside table, where you had left your phone and checked the time.

10AM it had read, only 4ish hours of sleep? Why the hell were you awake?

You saw you had a message from Yoongi, but you were pretty sure you needed a few more hours of sleep if you wanted to text back anything that made actual sense.

You did, however, make the valiant effort of plugging your phone into a charger before passing out again.

When you woke up again you didn’t know how much time had passed.

You reached out for your phone again to see it read 1PM, Taehyung was still miraculously passed out beside you. 

You took a minute to examine his features, how the fuck did anyone deserve to be that beautiful? Especially after a night of partying? Jackass, you thought before sticking an elbow into his side.

“Tae,” you called out in a singsong tone. “Tae wake up.”

You earned a small groan from him and knew you were getting somewhere.

“Taeeeeeeee,” You called again. 

You rolled over onto him, straddling his hips and leaning into him.

“Tae wake up!”

Semi awake - you knew this because he had consciously grabbed your hips to keep you in place – he groaned again, probably unaware of who you even were.

“Wake up you loser!” You said, cupping his cheeks and shaking his head side to side a little.

“M’awake.” He replied, his grip on your hips tightening when he finally realised who you were.

He smiled, his eyes still closed.

“Hm, I always have dreams of waking up with you on top of me like this.” He murmured.

“Never thought it would happen though.” He said as he slowly opened his eyes.

You were 100% sure you’ve probably never looked worse but Taehyung only smiled wider when he saw your face.

“I was just trying to wake you up…” You trailed off, suddenly very aware of how your crotch was literally sitting on his.

You rolled off him, leaving him to fully wake up, pulling your phone off the charger.

You remembered the message from Yoongi, unlocking your phone. A smile crossed your face as you remembered the events from last night.

9:39AM

Yoongi: hey, text me when ur awake 

You grinned even harder, typing your reply.

1:13PM

You: hey sorry my lazy ass is only awake now, i stayed in Jins, let me call you when im home and showered T_T

“God, you must have it bad.” Taehyung said from beside you.

You glared at him “I don’t know what you're talking about.” You replied.

“Well if how hard your smiling at your phone is anything to go by, you must clearly have it bad for somebody.” He said.

You rolled your eyes at him.

“I’m going back to my dorm.” You said, standing up, feeling a little dizzy.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you.” He said, winking.

You mimicked gagging as you threw your shoes on and fled Jin’s house.

*

As you stepped out of the warmth of the shower and wrapped a towel around your hair, you threw on a long t-shirt and got settled into your bed.

You pulled out your phone and opened up your recents, hitting Yoongi’s name, you watched it as it began ringing.

You became a little nervous, your mind thinking back to everything that had gone on last night.

You put the phone up to ear listening to the sounds as you closed your eyes letting out a heavy sigh of exhaustion.

They sprung back open as soon as you heard the “Hello?” from the other side of the line.

“Hey.” Was all you could manage, your anxiety sky rocketing.

“Hey,” Yoongi replied. “So how bad is your hangover?” He asked.

You laughed and scoffed. “Leave me alone! I am currently dying and in serious need of unhealthy food.”

“Maybe I can help with that?” He asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice like you were going to tell him no.

“What do you mean?” You asked, a smile on your face.

“I can pick up anything you want, bring it to you. We can talk.” He said.

“Oh yes please that sounds amazing!” You said, glee overwhelming you.

“Okay text me what you want and your address.” 

And with that the conversation ended, you quickly jumped up to dry your hair and put on a pair of shorts.

When there was a knock on the door you leapt up, heart about to beat right through your chest.

You opened it up with a smile and Yoongi smiled back holding up food in one hand. You grabbed his hand and pulled him in.

Your dorm room was small so you didn’t really have any other choice but to sit down on your bed and pat the space beside you.

“Here is the chicken strips your majesty ordered.” He said, sitting beside you.

“Thank you so much, you have no idea how hungry I am.” You opened up the bag getting stuck in like some depraved animal.

“I didn’t know you lived in a dorm,” He said, gazing around your room.

“Yeah,” you said, munching on fries, you swallowed and began again. “I’m in my 3rd year.” 

“Wow, I don’t know…I pictured you to live in some ridiculous mansion like the rest of them do.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“No, believe it or not, I am in no way rich, far from it actually, I met them because my mom used to clean Namjoon’s house actually, she used to bring me along. That’s how we all met.”

You weren’t ashamed that you had significantly less money than your friends, far from it actually, your mom was a single mother who did her best for you.

“Oh really? That’s actually quite surprising.” Yoongi said, his eyes skimming over your face, meeting your eyes.

“I’m not ashamed! Those rich dicks help me a lot actually, they’ve definitely made sure I didn’t I go hungry or anything, they treat me well, I’m super thankful.” You said, taking another bite of your food, it was going down a treat.

“Thank you for the food, I have some money in my coat pocket-“ You made a move to stand.

“Please, it’s on me.” Yoongi said, putting a hand on your arm to stop you getting up.

You laughed. “I probably just made it sound like I’m some sort of charity case.”

Yoongi shook his head, “Not at all, I just wanted to do something nice.” 

You looked up at him again, his dark hair was falling into his eyes a little and you couldn't stop yourself thinking about how beautiful the man in front of you was, even if he did look a little serious at the moment.

“Listen,” he began, “about last night, I hope you don’t regret it.” He said, he wasn’t looking at you anymore.

You put the rest of your food to the side, wanting to move closer to him.

“Of course I don’t.” You reassured him. “Do you?” You asked.

Yoongi looked at you once again, “No.” 

“See? We both don’t regret anything. I’m glad.” You said, resting a hand on his thigh.

“I want to talk though,” He started, his eyes focused on where your hand was. “I know it’s no secret. What my job is.”

It was your turn to listen to his story and you did, you nodded, letting him continue.

“I know what I said to you the first night we met, and I won’t lie, I still feel like that a little, I’m a first-class scumbag, right? I mean what else kind of person deals drugs.”

He said, scoffing at himself.

He kept going, he clearly wanted to get everything out on the table.

“I never wanted this, my dad’s side of the family are all like this, my mom ran off, I guess she was afraid of him, but she didn’t take me with her. I grew up with this and I never wanted to do his dirty work for him. I tried to fight him on it but what can I do? He wouldn’t let me leave. I know I’m a bad person, I try so hard not to be, I only sell to people I can trust, no addicts, no one underage, just mainly rich kids who want to party, ya know? I know that doesn’t make it any better…”

You could tell he was struggling to get this out, but it needed to be done.

“My dad’s a hardass, he doesn’t even do any of the dirty work though, just sits on his throne all day keeping his hands clean. He threw me into this, his own son, said he wanted me to get a taste of what it was like out there, he said I won't have to do it for long but I needed some toughening up as he put it.”

You were listening intently, afraid to speak. Him saying this made it all so real.

You knew what he was doing was wrong, but the fact that he was basically being forced to do it made your heart ache, he didn’t ask to be born into that life and running away from home when your father was that kind of man…it wasn’t an option either you guessed.

“I’m not making excuses, really I’m not, I just... I like you a lot and there is no way I can take this any further without you knowing all this. I understand if you don’t want to see me again.” He said. 

You looked at him, he was still looking down unable to meet your eyes, was he really that ashamed?

A part of you wanted to tell him you didn’t want to see him again, to not let yourself get into this sort of situation, but something about him was so damn infatuating, you wanted to keep seeing him, get to know him, his hobbies, his hopes and dreams. You wanted all of him.

It had been a while since he spoke and you realised you hadn’t even replied to him, too caught up in your own thoughts.

“Look I get it, I’ll just go.” And as he made a move to stand you hastily grabbed at his wrist.

“No please don’t go Yoongi. Please. This was just a lot to process, I’m sorry. But I definitely don’t want you to walk away.” You said giving him a -what you hoped looked- reassuring smile.

Yoongi smiled back but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I know it’s a lot, that’s why I don’t date, or get involved with girl’s at all for that matter. But then I saw you at Namjoon’s party…I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were, I’ve never felt like that before seeing someone for the first time.”

Your heart swelled.

“I thought the same about you, I mean I tried to flirt from the damn bathroom.” You said, laughing a little.

“I know,” Yoongi replied, laughing a little too as he recalled the memory. “I said that cheesy line as well, I felt like a damn moron for that.”

You laughed harder. “Don’t worry, I liked it.”

“You were drunk!” 

“I wasn’t that drunk…well actually…” You trailed off as you recalled.

You both were laughing hard now. 

You couldn’t believe how natural this all felt, being like this with him. 

And that’s how the rest of your afternoon with him went, just talking about anything and everything, you were getting to know each other and it felt amazing.

So when he announced he had to go you had pouted and he gave you a quick kiss on your pout and promised to call you.

*

You were sitting with Jungkook in your local coffee shop, both stressing about assignments, but avoiding them like the idiots you were.

“This has got to be the worst week of my life, I feel like I’ve been hungover for about 5 days and this essay is due in 2 days, how do they expect me to write five thousand words whilst trying to party? I go to college to party, not to work.” Jungkook was moaning, you weren’t really listening to him, you rolled your eyes.

“Jungkook you’re gonna flunk out if you don’t start doing some work.” You said sighing.

“They can’t flunk me,” he began with a cocky smirk, “When your dad’s on the board there are some perks, for example, doing the bare minimum and getting away with it.” 

You scoffed at him, hitting his shoulder.

“And where is that attitude going to take you in life? Hmm?” You were tired of dealing with his rich boy antics.

“I don’t know, hopefully surrounded by some good pussy and parties 24/7.” 

You were pretty sure if you rolled your eyes any harder they were going to fall out of your head.

“Well, unlike you, I have to actually put some effort in, I’m going to the library, it’s due on Monday.” As you got up Jungkook stood with you.

“I’ll walk you over.” He offered and you didn’t decline.

As you walked across the grass, Jungkook had his hands in his pockets.

“So does that mean you’re not going to the party tomorrow?” He asked.

You shook your head a firm no, that was the last thing on earth you needed to be doing.

“Awh no fun, I hate it when you’re not there.” He said and you gave him the side-eye.

“What are you talking about? We barely speak at parties, you're always too busy trying to get laid by the first brunette that walks through the door.” You stated.

“Oh come on! Not fair. Me and you know how to have a good time, you’re the only person I can count on to get as fucked up as me.” He said, smiling at you.

You hit his shoulder again. “Why are you so proud? Us embarrassing ourselves isn’t cute.”

“It is so.” He retorted.

You just shook your head, walking in silence until you were back on campus.

“Hey look… isn’t that Min Yoongi?” Jungkook asked, nodding his head in the direction he was in.

You shot your head up immediately, Jungkook was right, Yoongi was there. Standing in front of what you could only assume was his car, it was sleek, black and look like it cost more than a house. 

You looked away, turning to Jungkook. “How do you know who he is?”

“A lot of people on campus know who he is, he’s infamous, you know he used to go here? He dropped out, turned into… ya know…a drug dealer.” Jungkook said lowering his voice. 

“He refuses to sell to me. I’m pretty sure he’s Jin’s dealers though, I see him around sometimes.”

You widened your eyes in surprise, smacking Jungkook on the shoulder for what had to be the 15th time today.

“Ouch! What did I do now?” He said, faking hurt.

“You tried to buy from him? What are you, some sort of idiot?” You scolded.

“He’s a cool guy Y/N, I’ve heard the rumours about him selling to only a select few, but I thought I’d chance my arm anyway, see if he was down, he most definitely was not.” Jungkook said, laughing at the obviously funny memory.

“Jesus Christ Jungkook, you really are shameless.” You stated, distracted.

Yoongi had spotted you, he wasn’t making it obvious but he stole a few looks your way.

“Is he…looking at you Y/N?” Jungkook said, suddenly aware of the situation.

You immediately turned bright red.

“Oh my god, he is!” Jungkook half-shouted. 

“Jungkook oh my god, shut up!” You said back at him, suddenly irritated at his childishness, if anyone were to find out about you and Yoongi – well let’s just say Jungkook would’ve been dead last on your list.

“I can’t believe this…wait, how do you even know him?” He asked, he stopped walking and suddenly turned to you, going into full blown interrogation mode.

“I don’t! Well not really, I just talked to him at Namjoon’s party once, I didn’t even know who he was.” You said, it technically wasn’t a lie, you just couldn’t let Jungkook know it had went so much further than that.

“Jesus…” Jungkook breathed out, he was clearly in deep thought.

“Please stop making it sound like such a bad thing Jungkook, it isn’t that deep!”

“He’s a fucking dealer Y/N, do you know how dangerous that makes him!?” He shot back, clearly worried for you, it would be almost endearing if you hadn’t felt such a strong need to defend Yoongi.

“You know he doesn’t even want that life? His dad forced him into it, he didn’t have a choice in the matter…” You trailed off, hoping Jungkook would be reasonable.

“How well do you know him really? I’m sure that makes it seem like it’s all okay Y/N, but it doesn’t.” He wasn’t budging on his opinion.

You wanted to fight him on this, but honestly, how could you?

“You didn’t...get with him…did you?” Jungkook asked, seeing how worked up you were getting up over the situation.

“Jungkook, I swear to god, if you don’t stay out of my business, we won’t be friends anymore.” You shoved him out of your way and stormed on, you heard him call your name but you ignored him.

As you were walking it suddenly hit you, Yoongi had just witnessed your whole confrontation, he hadn’t been close enough to hear but anybody with two eyes could clearly see you and Jungkook had been arguing.

You didn’t look over at Yoongi, you put your head down and powerwalked all the way to your dorm.

As you closed your door you threw your bag on the floor in anger. Who the fuck did Jungkook think he was? He wasn’t in charge of your life you were a grown woman.

You began shedding clothes, suddenly feeling too hot, you were getting far too worked up, ready to burst into tears.

Your phone was buzzing incessantly in your back pocket and you finally took it out, looking to see who it was;

Notifications:

JK: iMessage(s) (8)

Yoongi: iMessage(s) (2)

You sighed and threw your phone on the bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to read any of them, your head was hurting and you just wanted to crawl into your bed.

So you did. 

It was only 2pm, but a nap couldn’t hurt, your problems would still be there when you woke up, but you could avoid them for a few hours.

*

When you woke up, it was due to the sound of your phone vibrating once again, you didn’t know how long it had been doing that exactly, but the fact it had been seeping into your dream, you figured it had been a while.

You picked it up from beside you and squinted at the bright light in your face.

Incoming call: JK

You hastily declined the call and when you did you saw the notifications on your home screen.

Notifications:

JK: iMessage(s) (14)

Missed calls (6)

Yoongi: iMessage(s) (5)

Missed Calls (2)

You groaned at the time, you’d been asleep for about 2 hours, but Jungkook obviously had a lot to say to you, you knew he had been saying everything to you out of his love for you, that he didn’t mean to be mean or hurtful. Heck, you knew what kind of situation you were in and damn you and Yoongi had beat that horse to death the first time he had came over to your dorm, you were taking it slow, unaware of where you two wanted to take this, but you both knew how badly you’d wanted to keep seeing each other.

You took a deep breath and unlocked your phone, staring at the messages Jungkook had left first.

2:07PM

JK: Y/N I’m sorry about how that went down, we need to talk

JK: Please don’t ignore me, I know I annoyed you

JK: I know I didn’t even take the time to really hear you out

JK: You know how much I care about you

JK: How could I stand by and let you just do something like that?

JK: Wht kind of friend would that make me?

JK: please please don’t shut me out

JK: I love you so much don’t be mad at me :(

3:13PM

JK: I promise I wont say anything to anyone

JK: I do think you should tell Jin though

3:56PM

JK: Y/N please pick up the phone

JK: Im going fucking crazy sitting here

JK: I just need to know you don’t hate me :(

JK: ik Im being a stalker here, but just one word to reassure me you’ll talk to me again is all I need :( ur my best friend

You sighed heavily as you scrolled through his texts, he was obviously annoyed at himself and clearly demented at the thought you may never speak to him again.

You put your anger aside to type one quick reply.

4:04PM

You: I don’t hate you, I just don’t know how to talk about this with you yet, give me time.

He typed a reply right away.

JK: okay !! I understand im so glad you replied i love u tho

You really needed to set things straight with Jungkook but you knew you both needed to speak to each other in person, you would in due time.

As you took another heavy sigh you clicked over to yours and Yoongi’s text conversation.

2:04PM

Yoongi: Hey is everything okay with you and your friend (jungkook I think, im not sure…) 

Yoongi: I wanted to come say hi but things look a little heated, do you wnt me to come over?

3:45PM

Yoongi: im sure youre busy I don’t want to be that person who worries over not getting a reply, but I really do hope ur ok…

Yoongi: ive tried calling u sorry if that’s annoying lol, let me know ur okay?

Yoongi obviously didn’t realise your argument with Jungkook had been over him, so how could he know you couldn’t even tell him what you two had been arguing about, you didn’t want to lie to him he clearly seemed to care, but you thought the truth would be more damaging than good as you began to type back.

4:07PM

You: hey im sorry! Ur not annoying i just accidentally fell asleep, sorry if i left you to worry about me although it is very cute tho,,,, me and jungkook were just talking about one of my close girlfriends, he said something about wanting to fuck her and i got angry…it’s the norm with me and him, nothing to worry abt 😙

You read over what you typed about 5 times, hoping it was believable, you pressed send. 

You lay in your bed waiting for ten minutes before you got a reply.

4:19PM

Yoongi: it didn’t look like nothing,,,my offer to come and see u still stands ya know… im still about campus 

Your heart felt heavy. 

You thought about how much you wanted to see him, and you knew that even though Jungkook was right he was also so very wrong.

4:21PM

You: yeah i would actually really like that…you remember where i am don’t u?

After about 10 minutes you heard a knock on your door and you bounced up from your bed, you probably looked a hot mess but you didn’t care, you just felt giddy at the thought of seeing Yoongi.

You pulled open the door and were practically beaming at him.

“Hi.” You said.

“Hi yourself.” He replied as he walked in, you took a step back still watching him as he closed the door behind him.

You were still awe of how effortlessy beautiful he was, the dainty silver chain around his neck, his hair was getting a little too long but the way it was falling into his eyes made him even more beautiful.

“What is it?” He asked a small laugh escaping him, clearly confused by your staring.

“Nothing really…I just think you’re cute.” Your eyes widened after you finished speaking, that sounded a whole lot better in your head.

Yoongi let out an amused scoff.

“You think I’m cute?” He retorted.

He took a step towards you and you felt your heart rate began to go a lot faster.

“Well…I d-,” He was getting closer. “I don’t know – it just slipped out.” You said.

“It just slipped out?” He repeated.

You had never felt more flustered in your life and it only got worse as he finally got close enough to rest his hands on your hips and pull you close to him.

“Do you…wanna watch a movie or something?” You asked, god he really was fucking you up.

“No.” Was all Yoongi said before he leaned in and kissed you.

You welcomed his kiss immediately, leaning into his touch and wrapping your hands around his neck, teasing the ends of his hair with the tips of your fingers.

You slowly began incoporating your tongue into the kiss and let out a pleased moan when Yoongi began lightly sucking on it.

“You make the prettiest noises…” He said breathily between your kisses.

“Hmmm.” Was all you responded.

“Even better hearing them in person rather than over the phone.” He stated.

You froze a little feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the memory of Yoongi talking you through your orgasm over the phone.

“I must’ve jerked off to the memory of that about a million times, god it was so fucking hot,” You were staring wide eyes at him, you could feel the familiar heat growing between your legs.

“R-really?” Was all you could mutter as Yoongi began kissing your neck his hands reaching round to grab at your ass.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, you sounded amazing baby, you did so well for me.”

Fuck.

You could feel yourself getting more flustered by the second, all you could think to do was to kiss him again.

As you both grew more heated you let Yoongi guide over to your bed and your stomach was doing flips in anticipation.

You let him lie down and crawled over on top of him straddling his hips.

You pulled off your top leaving you in your bra and Yoongi just stared at your chest.

His hands reaching up he moved round to unhook your bra.

You shuddered at his touch and slender fingers getting to work and when he finally let your bra slide off your shoulders his hands reached up to palm at your breasts and you let out a small moan when he teased your nipple with his fingers.

“You’re beautiful.” He murmured.

You could feel him under you, growing hard and heavy.

You began grinding down allowing you both to have some friction.

“Fuck, I could come like this.” You moaned, grinding down on him harder.

Yoongi was smirking, “Yeah why don’t you try?” He challenged.

You smiled back at him, closing your eyes and throwing your head back, you went to town.

“Fuck, I can feel how big you are Yoongi.”

You swore you felt his cock twitch at that.

“Want you so bad, so fucking bad.” You were talking yourself up now, getting yourself more and more worked up, you were so close.

“Yeah? Show me how bad you want me baby, fucking use me.” Yoongi said while he continued to tease your nipples, he sat up slightly, using his mouth to suck one into his mouth.

“Fuck!” Was all you managed before you came undone, riding yourself on Yoongi through your orgasm.

“You really weren’t lying.” Was all Yoongi could manage before you began moving your body down his.

You pulled his jeans down, revealing the outline of him through his boxers, your mouth watering.

You palmed over him, “You really are big, fuck.” You whispered, almost to yourself.

“You want to suck my dick baby?” He offered.

You nodded like a crazy woman, you wanted him so bad and him asking you something like that only spurred you on.

You pulled his briefs down letting his cock spring free.

“Jesus.” Was all you could say.

Yoongi laughed, clearly amused at your reaction to his dick.

“I mean it’s no Jesus but I appreciate the compliment.” He said.

You laughed, hard. You couldn’t believe you had his dick in your hand and he was making you laugh like an idiot.

“Okay stop or I won’t be able to do a damn thing.” You stated, trying to get your breath back.

“Hm okay sorry I’ll stop.” But his smile still remained as he watched you.

You just smiled as you lowered your head taking him slowly into your mouth.

You wrapped your hand around what you couldn’t put in your mouth, beginning to really get to work.

You heard Yoongi’s breath hitch and let out a small groan at your actions and mentally congratulated yourself.

“Fuck you’re good at that.” He said breathless.

“Hmmm.” You moaned around him.

“Ah fuck baby please.” He said an encouraging hand on your head willing you to take more of him in your mouth.

So you did just that, you took more of him, he hit the back of your throat and as you tried to suppress your gag reflex Yoongi clearly appreciated what you were doing.

He moaned and oh god it is such a sexy noise you wanted to just start touching yourself then and there, you were insatiable.

After a few more minutes your jaw was beginning to ache but you never faltered wanting to finish the job, it’s Yoongi who stops you.

“Babe stop, I don’t wanna come like this. Wanna be inside you.” He stated and you felt yourself suddenly become nervous, looking up at him you could see his fucked out expression and it only turned you on more, you pushed your nerves to the side; you trusted him, and you’d wanted him this way from the moment you set your eyes on him.

“Do you have a condom?” Yoongi asked as you sat up to remove your skirt and underwear.

You turned to him to see him taking his shirt off, only to pause when you remembered you couldn’t even remember the last time you purchased condoms.

“Shit…No actually, I don’t.” You said.

Yoongi looked at you laughing a little in disbelief.

“No it’s okay, I’m clean and I’m on the pill!” You said as you straddled him, you weren’t going to let this ruin your first time with Yoongi.

“I’m clean too, to be honest it’s actually been a while-“

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” You interrupted him, “you still want to do this then?”

You saw his cock twitch at your teasing and you laughed a little only to gasp in shock as he grabbed you by the hips and all of a sudden you were underneath him.

“Of course I want to do this.” He said into your ear.

“Then do it, fuck me Yoongi, please.” You could hear the neediness in your voice but you didn’t care.

“Should I use my fingers first babe, I can stretch you out first-”

You didn’t even let him finish, too eager. “No, I’ll be okay I think I’m wet enough from already cumming. Please just hurry.”

Yoongi laughed and buried his head into the crook of your neck and let out a groan of frustration before pulling away and looking at you, he gave you a small kiss before muttering something that sounded something like what are you doing to me? But you weren’t sure.

Yoongi lined up at your entrance and you were already so wet the tip slid in with ease.

You let out a small whine as the initial feeling, you couldn’t believe this was finally happening.

“Baby jesus chirst…you are so wet…so tight…fuck you feel amazing.” He said.

You merely nodded in agreement, you didn’t trust yourself to speak, he was all in the way in you now and you had to bite your lip to hold back a scream.

“Please…move…Yoongi.” You managed.

And with that Yoongi started thrusting into you, hard.

You were moaning loudly completely lost in the pleasure.

“Baby you sound so pretty, keep moaning like that, you want me to fuck you harder?” he asked.

He was breathing heavily but when you gave him a small yes he complied, fucking into you at an unbelievable pace, your body started moving a little up the bed but Yoongi grabbed you by the hips to keep you in place.

“Yoongi just like that oh my god just like that.” You moaned.

Yoongi reached his hand down to rub at your clit and you jerked at the bolt of pleasure, it was almost too much. Almost.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you like this…” Yoongi murmured, “underneath me moaning like this.”

You smiled “Really? Did you get off to the thought of this a lot?” You asked teasingly.

“Fuck more than I care to admit.” He breathed out.

You lifted your arms to wrap them around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

He was hitting you deeper now and his relentless attack on your clit was only causing you to reach your end quicker, you put your face in the crook of his neck and let out a loud whine.

“Baby, are you close already?” 

Yoongi had slowed now but he was rubbing your clit faster and you could feel your orgasm about to wash over you.

“Yes – fuck – I’m gonna come.” You said.

Yoongi was panting heavy, picking up his pace again, he could feel you clenching around him and you knew he was just as close as you.

“Come for me please baby.” And with a few final strokes of your clit, your orgasm hit you like a train.

You were lost in yourself, lost in your orgasm you took a moment to come back down to earth you put your hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist encouraging him to come.

“Baby please come, please fill me up.” You said in your fucked out moan.

And he did, spilling inside you the feeling of him filling you up was so blissful you moaned again.

“Oh fuck,” Yoongi whispered you almost didn’t hear him,  but the way he said those words just confirmed he had enjoyed himself just as much as you had.

When he pulled out of you you were both still breathing heavily, the both of you so fucked out you couldn’t even speak yet, Yoongi rolled over to lay beside you.

After a minute of silence Yoongi finally spoke.

“That was-“

“Amazing.” You finished.

Yoongi laughed, leaning over to kiss you, a small affectionate peck that left you smiling like an idiot.

“Let me get you a cloth.” Yoongi offered, getting off the bed he pulled back on his underwear and walked into your small en-suite.

You could feel Yoongi’s cum seeping out of you and as gross as it was it only caused you to smile knowing what had just happened.

“Here.” Yoongi said, as he walked back out handing you the cloth, it was hot and you appreciated the fact he had taken the time to do that for you, it was sweet.

“Thank you.” You said sitting up to clean yourself.

You climbed off your bed aswell, throwing on Yoongi’s shirt to cover yourself up.

“Looks good on you.” Yoongi said.

You scoffed, “I’m gonna shower I’m sure I look like a mess…give me a minute?”

“Yeah no problem –” Yoongi was muttering as he reached for his phone to check it, after a second he was bouncing up.

“Actually I’m sorry I have to go – god I really don’t want to be that guy that just leaves right after…” He trailed off, his eyes wandering over your body until you realised he was looking at his own shirt on your body.

You nodded trying not to show your upset at the events that were unfolding in front of you.

You hastily reached for your dressing gown to cover up your naked form as you pulled his shirt up over your head.

“Y/N please don’t get quiet on me like that, you do know I care about you and I would not be leaving unless this wasn’t an emergency, right?” He said as he pulled on his shoes and stood up.

He made his way back over to you and took both your hands in his, encouraging you to look up at him.

“I’m sorry, I really am, please don’t be upset, please tell me you understand.”

It took everything in you to nod and give him a small smile.

“I’m fine Yoongi, go, I understand.” You lied.

He took another 10 seconds to further examine your face to make sure you weren’t upset, you were definitely giving him a convincing enough expression.

He gave you a small nod before grabbing his keys and phone giving you a small peck on the lips and leaving out the door.

You let out a huge sigh, you felt tired again.

*

You woke up the next morning feeling groggy and confused, you couldn't even remembering falling asleep again, you took a deep breath as you remembered yesterdays events.

After Yoongi had left you had stood there for a minute before you let the shame wash over you, you felt like you had just been used for a quick fuck, you wanted to believe Yoongi wasn’t like that but it was hard not to when he was already out the door even as his cum was still freshly inside you.

You had showered for a long time, trying to rid yourself of the negative thoughts that were overwhelming you.

Yoongi wasn’t like that, he had shared himself with you, told you details of his private life and in turn, had listened to your story as well, but was this a regular occurrence with him? 

Was the time that you were able to spend together going to be far and few between?

You decided the best thing for you was to simply distract yourself so as you sat on your bed you opened up your laptop to get started on the assignment you had due, you decided to switch off your phone, you knew if you didn’t you would be checking it every 5 minutes waiting on a text from a certain someone.

A few hours passed as you really began getting into your work you figured you’d be able to get it finished by tomorrow, but a sharp knock on your door made you jump out of your skin.

“Y/N open up please.” You heard a muffled voice come from behind the door.

It was Jungkook.

You took a deep breath, you hadn’t been mentally ready to see him for a while, but here he was.

You stood up off your bed, walking to the door you hesitantly opened it just a crack as you peered out to him.

He looked good as usual, black jeans, black cap and that damn black leather jacket.

He immediately looked at you as you poked your head through the gap in the door.

“What do you want Jungkook?” You asked, you really weren’t in the mood to get lectured right now.

“What am I, some stranger? Let me in and we can talk.” He said moving closer to the door.

“Jungkook – I’m really not in the mood right now.” You said.

He pushed the door open anyway his strength no match for you.

“What are you deaf now? I don’t wanna talk Jungkook.” You stood back from him as he closed the door behind him, he really did look huge in your small dorm room.

“Please just let us talk this out, you know I hate fighting with you, the other guys… I will freeze their asses out when they’re mad at me I don’t care…but with you.” Jungkook looked at you with those bigs eyes and you let out a huge sigh, you had a soft spot for him.

“Okay, let’s talk.” You said with a heavy heart, you weren’t ready for the dose of reality Jungkook was going to hit you with.

He took a seat on your bed, your dorm room didn’t even have a desk so everything had to happen on your bed, you cringed a little when you realised you hadn’t even washed your sheets since you and Yoongi had had sex on them.

You took a seat beside him folding your legs up underneath yourself.

“You wanna tell me how this happened?” Jungkook said, you got the vibes he wanted everything out on the table.

“I wasn’t lying yesterday. I met him at Namjoon’s house party the other week. He was there because you all cried in Jin’s face about getting coke.” You said, you were definitely on the defence.

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows a little, you know he could tell you were going to be snarky about this but he had the patience of a god when it came to you, lord knows you could be difficult.

“Okay…” Jungkook began slowly, “So you two just…what?”

You rolled your eyes. “Jungkook, I saw him at Namjoon’s party I flirted with him even after I found out who he was, I saw him at Jin’s again and he kissed me…he actually was here yesterday…” You didn’t know what else to say, how do you tell your best friend you were fucking a drug dealer, it wasn’t exactly something you just said, but you knew Jungkook was smart enough to already know what you were saying.

“What?! You mean you two have already…” He didn’t need to finish his sentence, he trailed off looking like he was deep in thought.

“Aren’t you moving a little to fast here Y/N? I mean if you only met him at Namjoon’s party then –“ You took second to blink at Jungkook before hitting his shoulder.

“Excuse me?! You fuck the first girl you see at any party within an hour of meeting her and you’re going to lecture me about whoring it out?!” You weren't really that angry more in shock that Jungkook had actually said something like that to you.

Jungkook laughed a little at your reaction “I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry I guess it’s just because of who he is…you have to know this is a bad idea right?” He was looking at you a lot more serious now.

You nodded solemnly, “I know Jungkook, fuck, believe me, we both know.”

“But…let me guess, he’s not entirely what I’m picturing? Cause I know damn well you wouldn’t let get this worked up over someone if you didn’t like them a lot.”

Sometimes you forgot how attentive Jungkook was, a lot of your relationship was joking around with each other so when shit got serious you were reminded of the fact that he actually cared about you a lot and that he actually knew you pretty well.

“Yeah, it’s new but…I like him a lot, although I’m not even sure if the feelings are one hundred per cent reciprocated. Maybe it’s just self-deprecation thinking that… I don’t know it’s been so long since I’ve wanted to see someone more than once. I forgot how hard this shit is.” You scoffed out a laugh, you were pretty sure you sounded stupid but you weren’t sure how to talk about this.

“Please, are you kidding me? If the feelings aren’t reciprocated then he is a total dumbass because any guy would be so lucky to have you.” Jungkook said.

You didn’t know where to look, Jungkook speaking like this to you felt foreign.

“I know that was cheesy,” Jungkook laughed a little. “But it’s true, I mean look at Taehyung, he embarrasses himself all the time trying to get you to go out with him.” 

You rolled your eyes.

“All Taehyung wants is a quick hump and dump.”

Jungkook scoffed “Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure Tae’s been in love with you from the moment he set his eyes on you, remember when he gave you his favourite toy to play with and we all were in shock cause it was the first time we’d seen him share anything.”

You laughed at the memory, but Jungkook had no idea what he was talking about, Taehyung only saw you as a friend and possibly another notch on his belt.

“Listen what I’m trying to say is Y/N, at the end of the day this is your choice obviously but please be careful, please, I can look out for you but I don’t think I stand a chance against a drug lord’s crew if it came down to that.”

You looked at him in shock. “Jungkook don’t say shit like that oh my god! Nothing like that would happen!”

You shivered at the thought for a second, thinking about how you only saw Yoongi and not his world, it probably was as dangerous as Jungkook was imagining.

“I’m sorry okay, I’m just going to be worrying like crazy from now on, you know that right? Let me be the overbearing overprotective friend please.”

You let out a heavy sigh choosing to not say anything for a moment as you got lost in your own head.

“Y/N, I respect your choices always. But please be careful.” 

You nodded, “Thank you Jungkook, and you know I will.”

“Listen I gotta go but I’ll text you okay?” Jungkook said as he stood up.

You stood up with him following him to the door.

He leaned in and gave you a hug, it was warm and you felt safe in his arms for the short moment they were around you.

You really did have great friends you thought.

With a quick goodbye, Jungkook left you alone with your thoughts.

PART 3

[aki-natsuko]

Little Match Boy II: Alternative Ending

  AO3 (Chapter 1 features character death - this one doesn’t)

Tags:

*****    Gray had taken the scolding for fighting Lyon with good grace. Aware that they had both been driving their guardian to distraction with their constant fighting lately and mollified by the fact that Lyon had also been reamed out once Gray had explained what had happened. Something that he knew that he was going to pay for later. However, he found himself unable to forget about what had happened even as he got ready for bed, or rather he couldn’t forget about the small boy with cherry blossom hair. He had seen the boy – Natsu -before out on the street selling matches. Bt he had never approached him as there had always been something melancholy about the smaller boy that had scared him and now he wished that he had spoken to him sooner, unable to forget the beautiful smile that had met his actions.

“Ur…I’m worried about Natsu,” he admitted softly when she came to tuck him into bed, and she paused, looking down at him in surprise. Compared to Lyon, Gray was usually more introverted, and if she was honest, she had been surprised that he had gone out of his way to defend another child, especially one that he didn’t know. “It’s so cold out there, and he didn’t have shoes or a coat.” He glanced towards his window, the curtains still open so that he could watch the snow falling outside. It was beautiful, but he knew better than anyone just how deadly it could be as his parents had died while holidaying in the mountains, and he had almost joined them before Ur had found him and rescued him. “I…I want to go and find him.” You found me, I want to do the same for him…

“It’s too late to go out now, especially in this weather,” Ur pointed out softly, stroking a hand through his hair as she guessed where his thoughts had gone as she caught the emotions swimming in his dark eyes as he stared at the window.

“But…”

“If you still feel this strongly in the morning then we can go and look for your friend,” she offered, cutting gently across his protest and Gray hesitated, slightly surprised that she had agreed so easily. Although she had a reputation for helping the poorer kids in the area despite the protest of their neighbours. He stared at her for a moment with narrowed eyes, gaze flicking between her and the window as Natsu’s smile flashed through his mind, and his voice shook as he finally forced it to work.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Ur replied, and Gray felt himself relaxing at the easy agreement. Natsu…He knew without a doubt that he would still feel like this in the morning, and he nodded his agreement, and she smiled as she saw the determined set to his chin, aware that it would take wild horses to tear him away from this decision now. Stroking his hair once more, she leant in and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead, smirking at his grumbled protest. “Now go to sleep sweetheart, and no more fighting with Lyon.”

“’ Kay…” Gray mumbled sleepily, aware that she was laughing at his protest and he rolled onto his side, his eyes growing heavy as he listened to her leaving the room and heading next door to speak to Lyon, and his gaze turned once more to the window.

Natsu, please wait for me…

**

  Despite Ur’s reassurances and his best efforts, Gray couldn’t fall asleep. His bed was warm and comfortable, and he was tired, but every time that he closed his eyes, all he could see was Natsu rushing away from him into the cold and snow.

He was out there now.

  Ur had promised that they could go and look for Natsu in the morning, but what if that was too late? Gray could remember the cold slipping through his body, stealing away every bit of warmth, until he was numb and drifting, and then threatening to steal away his breath and more. Ur had saved him, but it had been close, to the point where the doctors had warned her that he might not survive, and he had been dressed for the weather, his parents insisting that he wrap up before they went out that fateful morning. Natsu didn’t have that, didn’t have that tiny kernel of hope that Gray had clung to during those long cold hours, that someone would be looking for them, that someone would come.

He couldn’t wait.

    Glad, that Ur had finally given them separate rooms after he and Lyon had kept bickering, he slipped out from under the covers, shivering as even with the fire banked for the night the chill from outside had crept into the air. It made him move faster, because if it was this cold inside, then what was it like outside now? As quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb the rest of the household for fear that they would stop him, or fetch someone to stop him in Lyon’s case, he dressed in the warmest clothes he could find. Before also finding a spare coat and a pair of shoes which he wrapped in a pillowcase stolen off his bed, knotting the top of it, before creeping to the door.

  Cracking it open, he listened for a moment or two, wrinkling his nose as he heard Lyon snoring loudly from next door. Yet another reason for their bickering when they had shared a room, as the older boy was adamant that he didn’t snore despite Gray arguing that everyone knew he did. There was still a light shining from under Ur’s door, and for a moment he hesitated, if he went to her with her fears, perhaps she would go with him or send an adult to look for Natsu, and it was tempting. It was dark and cold outside, and Ur had always warned them about the dangers of being out on the streets at night. But, she had already said that it was too late and that they would go in the morning, and Gray didn’t want to risk getting caught and having that answer again, fingers tightening on the knotted pillowcase. I’m sorry, he thought, hating the idea that he might be disappointing his guardian, but unable to shake the image of Natsu from his mind.

    Gathering his courage, he crept forward, skirting the creaky floorboard that he and Lyon had discovered and memorised after getting caught too many times sneaking down to the kitchens. Holding his breath as he passed Ur’s door, but there was no sound from within, so maybe she had fallen asleep reading again, which happened quite a lot. Still, he didn’t relax until he had made it all the way past her room, down the stairs, hopping over a couple that had started to creak recently, and successfully reaching the entrance hall. Pausing as he eyed the door, which was his next challenge, as it was a huge heavy thing that was locked and bolted for the night, the keys hanging from a hook just inside. There was no way to get them down quietly, he heard the housekeeper take them down every morning so he knew that for a fact, and if Ur was awake then she would come running.

  However, there was another way and hiking the pillowcase over his shoulder he headed for the kitchens, knowing from their various nocturnal visits that Ms Virgo had a habit of forgetting to bolt the kitchen door, leaving the key in the lock. Unfortunately, she also tended to be up late, and he was on tenterhooks as he darted down the corridor to the kitchen, before reaching the door, and peering through the glass panel. There was no sign of her, and hoping that she was in bed and not just fetching something from the pantry he edged the door open and slipped inside. It was warm in here, the kitchen fire still stoked high and casting a warm glow over the room, and he paused for a moment as he saw the fresh bread buns laid out ready for the morning. Glancing around before grabbing a couple and stuffing them in his pocket, wondering if Natsu had eaten anything but the sweet he’d been able to give him and somehow doubting it. This wasn’t much, but it would be a start until Gray could bring him back here, and…

…and what?

    He paused, as he realised that even with Ur’s reassurances he hadn’t really considered what the next step would be once they found Natsu. Did he have a family? Not much of a one if they were letting the other boy run around in the cold dressed like that. Besides, there had been loneliness with the melancholy that made him think that Natsu had been alone in one way or another for some time. He had been surprised that Gray had defended him, that he had tried to help, and he scowled. He might not know what came next, or what Ur would do.

Could they let him stay here?

Would they need to talk to the authorities?

    Gray didn’t know anything about those kind of things, but he knew that here and facing questions, was better than out there with nowhere to go and gathering his resolve, he marched to the door. Sure enough, the heavy bolts hadn’t been drawn across for the night, and while the door was locked the key was still there, and it opened easily enough, creaking slightly as he edged it open just enough to sneak through. Nothing stirred at the sound much to his relief, and he locked the door behind him, slipping the key into his other pocket, so they had a way back inside without leaving the house unprotected.

  It was freezing outside, and even in his thick jumper and coat, he felt it, shivering as his breath misted in the air in front of him. Lifting his head, he found that he could see all the stars in the sky. It was a beautiful night, and yet it felt to him as though there was something in that sky, something watchful and menacing, and it fed into his worry for Natsu, and he found himself breaking into a run, the pillowcase bouncing against his back.

Natsu, I’m coming.

****

    Natsu’s entire body was growing numb, even his shivering was slowing, and he knew that was a bad sign, but what could he do? No one was going to let him in, and even if he headed for home now, he knew that it wasn’t going to be enough. He shifted, trying to curl up even tighter and squeeze a modicum of extra heat from his hidey-hole only to pause as the movement reminded him about the matches he was clinging to. A Match…He knew that he shouldn’t waste them. They were the only source of income he had after all, but he was so cold, and surely lighting one wouldn’t be too bad, and it might give him a little comfort if not warmth. But did he dare do it? The ache from his injuries had dulled with the cold, and after a moment he cautiously grasped one and stared at it intently. Just one…Trembling he reached out and drew it against the wall, the sound of it igniting deafening in the silent street and his eyes widened with delight as it blazed to life.

   It was bright against the darkness, burning happily and the warmth. It was a tiny flame, but at that moment, it felt like the sun, and he curled his hands around it, desperate for that tiny bit of heat. It was beautiful, and Natsu found his mind wandering until it felt almost as though he was sat in front of an open fireplace, much like the one he and Igneel had once had. They had spent many an evening there curled together, making up silly stories, and it felt to Natsu as though he was really back there, the warmth seeping into his chilly limbs and he stretched his feet out to warm them too. Only to pause as the small flame disappeared a moment later, the fireplace and memory vanishing with it and leaving him with nothing but the burnt remains of the match in his hand and he let it fall.

It was a dream…

   He knew that and yet he couldn’t resist the temptation of feeling that warmth again, and this time there was no hesitation as he reached for another match, rubbing it against the wall with a hint of desperation. It flared easily to life in his hand, and where the flame hit the wall in front of him, it seemed to turn transparent like a window or a veil, and through it, he could see the room beyond it. It was the same as those he had peered at through the windows in previous years, a brightly lit dining room, with a beautifully decorated table and a feast spread out across the surface, and Natsu felt himself drooling at the sight of the fire chicken and roast vegetables, the chocolate cake. Treats he had dreamed of a hundred times, and there sat at the end of the table was his father. Not the monster waiting at home, but Igneel, who was watching him with warm eyes, and Natsu reached out towards him, his fingers coming within an inch of Igneel’s when the match went out, and all he touched was the cold stone of the wall.

Come back…

   Natsu lit another match, and this time when the light sprang into life, he found himself sitting beneath a magnificent Christmas tree. It was nearly as large as the one that dominated the centre of Magnolia at this time of year, and yet it seemed a thousand times more beautiful than that one. This tree was just for him, rich green branches, decorated with hundreds of candles that warmed his face as he stared up at them, glittering against gaudy baubles like the ones he had seen in all the shops for the last few weeks. It’s beautiful. It was nothing like the simple one he and Igneel had put up each year, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch the decorations. Just one touch, but again the match died just before he could even brush them, and it seemed to him as though the lights from the tree rose higher and higher with the smoke, and for a moment he imagined that they were like the stars in the sky above him and as he watched one fell down and formed a trail of fire.

“Someone died…” He whispered to himself. Remembering one of Igneel’s favourite stories about the Star Princess who tended the stars and who would send one falling to earth when someone died, a marker for every soul soaring into the sky to follow and a memorial for those who wouldn’t have any left behind to remember them. Just like me…

   He lit another match against the wall, and this time when the light sprang to life between his trembling hands, he could see Igneel standing over him. Bright and radiant in the light of the flame, a warm smile on his face and love shining in the warm brown eyes that met his gaze. Natsu sniffled and let out a little hiccupping sob, reaching for his father only for the image to flicker and begin to fade as the match spluttered. Desperately he grabbed the remaining matches and lit them all as one, and Igneel was there once more, brighter and stronger than ever and Natsu felt a tremulous smile spread across his face. Igneel…

“Father…Igneel,” he whispered shakily, reaching out with a trembling hand. “Please, take me with you. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be in the warmth and light with you, I want to be with you.” It was a wish he had made a hundred times or more since Igneel had died, but this time, his father smiled gently before reaching out and scooping him into his arms. His father’s arms were warm and strong. They were home, and Natsu let his eyes drift shut as the feeling washed over him, and a voice whispered his name…

“Natsu…”

****

      Gray had found his way back to where he had last seen Natsu, or at least he hoped that he had, everything looked different at night, and with the snow piling up, everything had taken on a different shape and form as it loomed out of the darkness. Part of him wanted to turn and run home and get Ur to help him, especially as he’d already stumbled into a group of drunks who’d laughed and jeered as he’d bolted from them, skin prickling uneasily. But, it was too late to turn back, and as the snow continued to fall, his worry for Natsu grew, and he hugged the pillowcase against his chest, a talisman against the cold, a hope for the other boy. “NATSU!” He called, hoping against hope that maybe he had stayed nearby and found somewhere to shelter, his voice strangely muffled by the snow. “NATSU?! It’s Gray!” He tried again, but if Natsu was nearby, he wasn’t replying. Or maybe he was somewhere completely different? Or someone else had given him shelter? Gray didn’t know, but he wasn’t going anywhere without at least searching for him.

   Stamping his feet to try and warm them a little, as the snow had started to slip down the edges, leaving his socks and feet damp, the cold starting to bite, he looked around. There were so many ways that Natsu could have gone, and if he chose the wrong one… No, he was going to find the other boy one way or another, even if it took all night and Ur discovered that he was gone before he got home. He winced at the thought of the wrath that would be waiting or him when he got back if that happened but stubbornly stepped forward, picking a direction at random and hurrying forward. He didn’t dare keep calling out, not wanting to risk waking the whole town and getting himself and Natsu into trouble, so he had to rely on his eyes and ears, which were happened by the flurrying snow.

Natsu…

     The first three streets he tried were abandoned apart from an old man who had made a nest of old sacks and crates in the doorway of an empty shop. Snoring loudly as he curled around a bottle underneath a ragged looking blanket and Gray skirted him warily, but his presence went unnoticed. He had turned back to the place where he had met Natsu, and set off along the next street in his search pattern, stubbornly trying to ignore the exhaustion and cold that were settling over him, and the sinking fear that maybe he wasn’t going to be able to find Natsu, or that maybe it was too late.

    This street led further out of the centre, into a part of town that Gray had only visited a couple of times with Ur. Their street was nice, but this one with it’s towering townhouses and new buildings was something else. He almost turned back there and then, unable to imagine Natsu trying to find comfort here of all places, or the other boy finding any kind of welcome here. Even he, in his neat clothes and with Ur at his side had drawn more than one sidelong look when they’d attended a party as guests of one of her friends, and Natsu…

    He was turning away when there was a flash of light up ahead. It was so small and fleeting, abruptly lost against the snow and dark that for a moment he thought that he must’ve imagined it. But then there was another flare of light, this one lasted only seconds too, and then there was a pause before a third flare lit up, and it took him a moment to place what they were before he remembered what Natsu had so desperately been trying to sell that day.

Matches.

“NATSU!” Forgetting all about staying quiet, he rushed forward, almost stumbling over increasingly numb feet but managing not to fall as he strained for a reply. There was nothing, and there was a long pause as he slipped and slid over the snow-covered pavement, until finally there was a burst of light, as though several candles had been lit at once. Or a bunch of matches, his mind corrected, and he realised it was coming from the corner between two of the larger houses, one of the few places on this street that offered any semblance of shelter. The only hope for a small boy with no coat or shoes and nowhere to go.

Natsu…

   He could make out the other boy now, hunched over in that space as though he had been trying to make himself as small as possible, illuminated by the bundle of matches he was clinging to. “NATSU!” Natsu gave no sign that he had heard him, and now that Gray was closer, he could see his face, pale and tinged with blue in the light of the already dying flames, eyes glazed and distant, and a smile that seemed so out of place on his lips as he stared into the flames as though seeing something else. Natsu was speaking he realised, unable to make out the words they were so faint, lost to the drifting snow and sound of Gray’s boots crunching against the snow, and he gritted his teeth and sped up. Crying out as he saw Natsu swaying, eyes drifting shut as the matches flickered out one by one. “NO! Natsu!”

   Gray reached him just as the other boy toppled forward, the spent matches falling from limp hands to land against the ones already discarded on the ground, black lines against the snow. He paid them no mind, because Natsu was limp and unmoving in his hands, and oh so cold, as though Gray was hugging a lump of ice to himself and he shivered in sympathy even as he moved so that he could lean Natsu against the wall, crouching in front of him. “Natsu? Natsu can you hear me?” He asked urgently, patting the other boy’s cheeks, terrified by the paleness and the blue touching his lips and skin. Gray remembered looking like that, and it had been too close, and there was a leaden weight in his stomach as he frantically removed one of his gloves, hissing at the bite of the cold, before placing trembling fingers in front of Natsu’s mouth and holding his breath. It felt like a lifetime before he felt it, the faintest brush of air against his skin, but it gave him hope, especially as he realised he could see the ragged rise and fall of Natsu’s chest against his too thin clothes.

He was still alive… for now.

   Yanking his glove back on, knowing that he wouldn’t do either of them any good if he froze too, he grabbed the pillowcase, fighting with the knot and cursing. Using words that would have Ur descending on him with a bar of soap if she could hear him until it finally yielded to his desperation. Tipping out the contents, he grabbed the coat. “I’m going to put this on you, okay?” He asked, hoping for but not expecting a response, but still disappointed when Natsu remained unmoving, head lolling to the side. The other boy deadweight as Gray manhandled him into the coat, scowling as he realised how much it swamped Natsu, but it was better than nothing, and as soon as it was fastened, he turned his attention to getting the boots on. If the rest of Natsu was frozen, Gray wasn’t sure he had words for Natsu’s feet, shivering as he handled them, eyeing the red and blue mottling with worried eyes, knowing that it was a bad sign before forcing them into the boots. They were too big too, and he had to loop the laces around several times to make sure they wouldn’t fall off, but through it all Natsu was unmoving.

“Natsu?” He tried again, shaking the other boy by the shoulders before tapping his face once more, and Natsu’s lashes flickered for a second, and he whined under his breath before stilling, and nothing Gray did could elicit another response from him. Which meant that it was going to be up to Gray to get them out of here, because even with the coat and boots, Natsu couldn’t stay out here. “Natsu?” He tried one last time, but when there was no reply, he got to his feet and looked around. There was no one in sight, and why would there be? It was late at night and freezing, and everyone that had somewhere else to be would be inside right now, and there was no way he was leaving Natsu alone while he fetched help, sensing that if he did Natsu would be gone before he got back.

   Which left one option, and he looked back at Natsu before moving back to the other boy’s side and crouching down beside him. He had done this often enough with Lyon, but they had both been awake and helping or hindering in Lyon’s case when he wanted to be difficult. Lyon had nothing on Natsu, as Gray struggled to pull him onto his back so that he could carry him, and more than once they both nearly ended up face down in the snow, and it was stubbornness more than anything that had Gray persevering until the other boy was slumped against his back, arms limp at his side. Praying that he wouldn’t drop him, Gray gripped Natsu’s legs and carefully got to his feet, leaning forward a little to stop Natsu toppling backwards. It took him a couple of attempts to secure his hold and steady himself, and Natsu was so damn cold against his back, but he wasn’t heavy, and Gray was abruptly reminded of the bread he had taken, useless in his pocket right now, and he squeezed Natsu’s legs.

“You’re going to be safe now,” he promised the unconscious boy, wishing that he had done something earlier when he’d first seen him, rather than letting him run away. But, he was here now, and even as he staggered a little, worried about dropping the other boy, he was determined to get him home where it was safe and warm, and where Ur would know what to do. “Just hold on a little longer…”

*

   What hadn’t seemed like too long a journey on the way out, felt a thousand times longer on the way back. Gray was cold and miserable, his feet now well and truly frozen as more snow melted and filled them with moisture, and he was shivering hard enough to rattle his teeth now, his warm clothes no longer enough to hold back the cold. He was exhausted too, Natsu might not have been as heavy as he should be for a boy their age – and he knew from lugging Lyon around – but he was dead weight and Gray’s shoulders and back ached, but he didn’t dare pause even for a quick breather, because Natsu hadn’t stirred. Not once, and it was only when his own teeth had started to chatter, that he had realised that the other boy wasn’t even shivering, and Gray knew enough to know that was a bad sign. So he kept going, even as he swore that he wasn’t going to go out in the snow again any time soon, daydreaming of his warm, comfy bed and the fire in the hearth.

    By the time his house finally came into sight, Gray was moving on autopilot, stumbling more and more with each step and only keeping Natsu in place through sheer force of will, and he wasn’t even sure that the other boy was still with him. Unable to feel Natsu’s heartbeat, or hear his breathing, over the ragged panting of his own, and he almost burst into tears at the sight of the house.

“W-w-we’re n-nearly there N-Natsu,” He stuttered out, still hoping for a response and feeling more disheartened than ever when there wasn’t one. The front door was so close, but he didn’t know if anyone would hear him knocking and he had the key to the kitchen door, but those last few dozen feet felt worse than all the others combined, and he all but collapsed against the back door when he reached it. Gritting his teeth, he shifted so that Natsu was caught between his back and the wall, as he fumbled in his pocket for the key, nearly dropping it in the process and having to fight with numb fingers to get it into the lock and the door open. Still, eventually, there was a click, and the door swung open with a louder creak than earlier.

    Gray didn’t care, he needed someone to hear them, to know that they were there. He was frozen and sore, and there were black spots at the edge of his vision, and Natsu was still and silent, and it was too much. He didn’t know how to fix this, and the first tears fell as he managed to get his legs working enough to carry them inside the kitchen, managing a couple of steps inside before he stumbled. This time he couldn’t catch himself, hitting the floor hard, and ending up tangled with Natsu who had no way of catching himself.

   Luckily, or unluckily considering the side of his face now felt like it was on fire, they had collided with the sideboard as they fell. Half a dozen pots and pans toppled over, landing around them with a deafening clang that would be enough to wake the dead. He squeezed his eyes shut, gasping against the cold and pain, reaching out blindly for Natsu as he heard the sound of someone cursing and hurried footsteps, and felt more than saw the light that flooded the kitchen. There was a horrified cry, and someone was shouting for Ur…was that him? He didn’t think it was, and then there were hands on his shoulders, gently easing him over, pulling him away from Natsu, and he stirred, opening blurry eyes just enough to plead.

“H-H-Help N-Natsu…”

****

    Gray was floating, or that’s what it felt like as he shifted, brushing against something soft and fluffy that his sleep-addled mind decided must be clouds. It was warm too, a heat that had wrapped its arms around him and he smiled a little, imaging that he was drifting through a summer sky, somewhere above the clouds with the sun beating down on him from above.

Summer…

Natsu!

   He was jolted out of the pleasant feeling, as memory came rushing back and he bolted upright with the other boy’s name on his lips. Or at least he tried to, barely managing to lift his head from what he now realised was a pillow and not a cloud, before hands caught his shoulders and held him in place. “Let me go, Natsu….” He protested, pushing against the arms, and it took him a moment to realise that someone was talking to him, and another moment to blink. Clearing sleep-blurred eyes enough to realise that it was the housekeeper Ms Virgo who was halfway out of her chair, as though she had lunged forward to catch him.

“…okay, you’re okay…” She soothed, and he blinked at her again before looking around. He was in his room, in his bed, although it was piled high with blankets in way that it hadn’t been when he’d snuck out, and there was a fire blazing merrily in the hearth despite the sunlight streaming through the windows.

“Natsu?” He asked, suddenly terrified as he realised that there was no sign of the other boy. Ms Virgo hesitated for a moment, and he stared at her, noting for the first time the shadows under her eyes, and the fact that she didn’t look as put together as usual. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach as she released him to sit back in her chair and take a deep breath.

“The Doctor and Mistress Ur are with him at the moment,” she said finally, apparently reaching a decision. “I won’t lie to you Master Gray, he’s a very sick little boy at the moment, and…” Gray shook his head, stopping her, not needing to hear the words. He already knew. Remembering his mother still and silent behind him, his father fading away between broken sobs. He knew what the cold could do.

“I want to see him.”

“Gray, you…”

“Please,” he matched her dropping the formality, with a pleading look. Not the one he used to get candied apples and toffee from her, but one of desperation, and she sighed before glancing at the clock.

“You will have to wait for the Doctor to finish with him, and the Mistress will want him to look at you first, and then we will see,” Ms Virgo said, lifting a hand as he immediately opened his mouth to argue that he felt fine, albeit a little tired. “That much isn’t up for negotiation.” There was steel there, and he knew that she wouldn’t be swayed on that point, and he doubted Ur would either, even though he didn’t think there was any need for the Doctor to see him too. Still, he nodded reluctantly and sank back against the pillows, not arguing as she pulled the covers up, unable to forget how cold he had felt.

*

   He must’ve dozed off at some point, because he startled awake when the bed dipped, opening his eyes to find Ur sat on the edge looking down at him with soft eyes. As he blinked up at her, she reached out and brushed his hair away from his face, before cupping his cheek, not saying anything as she studied him intently.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered, the apology creeping out without him intending to, but there was something in her expression that had him on edge.

“I know,” she said finally, brushing her fingers against his cheek. “But you scared me, Gray, I could have lost you again.” He winced and tried to look away, but she didn’t let him. “Next time, come and wake me up. I know what I said, but Gray if you were that worried, you need to tell me.” Gray shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, especially in the early days after he’d come to live with her, and he wanted to argue that he had tried to tell her, but the words wouldn’t come, and all he could do was nod mutely. Not quite a promise, but the most he could manage at the moment and Ur seemed to realise that, looking a little disappointed as she sighed and sat back, although she didn’t remove her hands. “The Doctor says you need to take it easy for a couple of days just to be on the safe side,  but you were lucky, and you seem to be bouncing back okay.”

“...Natsu?” Gray almost didn’t want to ask.

“Natsu is going to take a lot longer to get better, he’s not been well for a long time, and he needs a lot of care and food, to get him anywhere near to full health,” Ur said, voice gentle but making no effort to hide the truth. It had always been one of her rules, after he’d shouted and screamed when no one would tell him what had happened to his parents when he’d first woken up, making himself ill until she’d stepped in to tell him the truth. It had hurt – just like this did – but he preferred it to the not knowing. “But…” He hadn’t realised he’d looked down, or that she had let him this time until his head shot up at her words. “The Doctor says that with time and care, he should make a full recovery, and he woke up a little earlier, enough for us to explain what had happened and where he was, and he was asking for you.”

“He was? Can I see him?” Gray was wide awake now and already trying to push the covers away. “Ms Virgo said I could as long as the Doctor had seen me, and….” He faltered realising he had slept through more than he had realised, and he glanced at the window, startled to find that it was dark outside.

“You slept the afternoon away, but you needed it,” Ur explained, moving to help him with the covers much to his surprise. “You can see him briefly, but then I want you to eat something and then it’s back to bed with you as you need to rest too, and Natsu isn’t going anywhere.”

“Really?” Gray asked, pausing in the middle of climbing out of bed, staring at her with wide, hopeful eyes as he remembered the questions that had hounded him.

“They’re looking into his family situation, but considering the state, he is in and that he was still out on the streets that late at night, it is doubtful he has anyone suitable to return to,” Ur replied. But that wasn’t what Gray cared about, even as a flicker of righteous anger welled in his heart at the thought of Natsu being abandoned or living with someone who wouldn’t care for him. “There will be some questions and other things, but I’ve already made it plain that I would like him to stay here with us, and the Doctor is in agreement, so unless Natsu himself disagrees there shouldn’t be any reason why he can’t stay.”

   Gray flung himself at her, hugging her tightly, missing the surprised look on her face as he buried his face against her as he chanted ‘thank you, thank you, thank you…” under his breath. Natsu, I told you that you were going to be safe. He had made the promise without knowing what was going to happen, and Ur had made it happen without him even asking, and he gripped her tightly, more grateful than he could ever say for this woman who worried about him, but never lied or hid the truth from him. If his eyes were a little damp when he pulled away, then she was kind enough not to say, instead steadying him as he stepped out of bed and wobbled a little, more tired than he��d realised, and he didn’t argue when she draped an arm around his shoulders and guided him to the door.

   Outside, they found Lyon lurking in the hallway and frowning, at least until he spotted Gray and then his face lit up for a moment before he forced his expression into a scowl as he all but sprang at the younger boy. Ur steadied them, as Gray who had been braced for a punch even with her stood there, found himself in a tight hug, tentatively returning it as he realised that Lyon was trembling. “Lyon?”

“You’re an idiot,” Lyon grumbled, managing to sound more petulant than anything, but Gray had learned to hear what the other boy wasn’t saying when they weren’t fighting, and he knew that he had worried the other boy, and he tightened the hug for a moment.

“I’m all right….”

“You’re still an idiot,” Lyon retorted, pulling away.

“Hey…”

“Boys,” Ur chided, but she was smiling, the kind that lit up her whole face and to Gray, it felt as though the world was coming back onto an even keel even though he hadn’t realised it was out of balance. “Gray wants to see Natsu for a few minutes, but then he needs to eat, so why don’t you see if Virgo will bring some food upstairs and you can have dinner together in Gray’s room?” She suggested, and to Gray’s surprise, Lyon nodded and darted away before he could say anything. “He was worried about you.”

“I…”

“You two fight all the time,” she was guiding him forward again, leading him past Lyon’s bedroom and towards her own. “But, you’re brothers, of course, he’s going to worry.” It sounded simple when she put it like that, and Gray nodded, filing it away as something to think about little because there were moments when he had truly questioned if Lyon even wanted him here. “Now, I want to warn you that Natsu might not be awake and I don’t want you disturbing him if he’s asleep as he needs all the sleep he can get at the moment, and he’s not very well, so he probably won’t talk much.”

“I don’t care, I just want to see him…” Gray insisted, shivering as he remembered how cold and still Natsu had been against his back, and Ur pulled him into her side as she opened the door to her room and ushered him inside.

    There was her bed, and beyond it was the small, single bed that she had put in when they were trying to transition him from sleeping with her to being able to sleep on his own, and then into his own room. It had been put into storage months ago after his visits had dropped to once in a blue moon when the nightmares were particularly bad, but now it was back, and Gray’s breath caught as he spied the shock of pink hair nestled against the pillow. Natsu was curled on his side, facing away from them and he looked smaller than Gray remembered, as though he was attempting to disappear right in front of their eyes, and shrugging off Ur’s supporting arm he hurried across to the other boy. Drawing closer he realised that Natsu was asleep, able to hear his breathing, a little too loud – not quite a snore, but rasping – and he flicked a glance back at Ur remembering what she had said about Natsu being ill, before slowing and practically creeping the last of the distance between them as he circled the bed so he could see the other boy’s face.

   Natsu was still pale, but the terrifying blueness was gone, although it had been replaced by an unhealthy flush across both cheeks, and as Gray watched, he shifted uneasily, eyes dancing under closed lids. Someone had bathed him, and the pink hair was brighter than Gray remembered, standing up in all directions, and his fingers twitched, longing to reach out and touch. To reassure himself that the other boy was warm and alive, and here, but he remembered Ur’s warning, and he didn’t want to disturb the other boy. It didn’t stop him from inching closer, eyes locked on the sight of Natsu breathing, his chest rising and falling under the blanket pulled right up under his chin.

Evidence that he was alive.

Proof that Gray hadn’t been too late.

   He closed his eyes, feeling a knot of something uncurling in his chest and he sniffled as he just breathed. He’s going to be okay. He could feel Ur watching him and knew that she would be chasing him back to bed soon and if he was honest, he wanted to sleep again, more exhausted than anything with the proof that Natsu was alive and safe. He opened his eyes intending to tell her that, but instead, the words died on the tip of his tongue, because Ur wasn’t the only one watching him.

Natsu was awake.

    The other boy was staring at him, gaze somewhat unfocused, but there was a spark of recognition in his eyes that drew Gray in, and he inched closer, holding his breath as Natsu’s gaze flickered, darting around before focusing on him. There was a wariness there that Gray recognised, not the same as his, but similar enough that he realised that Ur hadn’t only been talking about Natsu’s health when she had said that it would take time. He smiled at the other boy, moving so that his hands were visible and he looked as unthreatening as possible, remembering how he had punched Lyon once in the early days because the other boy had all but rushed him, and not wanting to share that experience.

“…Gray…?” Natsu whispered finally, voice hoarse and more than a little uncertain.

“Yes,” Gray beamed, relieved to be recognised and he glanced briefly at Ur who nodded before he approached and sat cautiously on the edge of the bed. “Natsu… how are you feeling?” He asked. It wasn’t really what he wanted to say, but he didn’t really know what he wanted to say or if he had the right words, Lyon was always saying that he could put his foot in it just by opening his mouth, and Natsu was still wary.

“Tired…” Natsu whispered around a yawn, before frowning. “…warm?” The way it was a question, as though he didn’t quite believe it hurt, and Gray swallowed. You won’t be cold again, he vowed in the privacy of his thoughts, and he wanted to say it aloud, but Natsu was looking a little overwhelmed, and a little more alert as he looked around, as though taking in the room and the bed that he was on for the first time. Maybe he was, as Ur said he had only been awake for a little while earlier. “…Where am I?”

“You’re at my house.”

“Why?” The wariness was there in full force now, along with a hint of fear and Gray felt hurt for a moment, but he squashed it, remembering what Ur had said. Natsu didn’t have this, or rather he hadn’t, and it would take time, but Gray wanted him to at least know that he was welcome here. That he had a place to call home if he wanted to, just like Ur had done with him those years ago, he realised with a pang, fighting the urge to look at her, aware of her watching over them, ready to step in if needed.

“I came to find you, I was worried…”  He admitted in a small voice.

“Why?”

“Why?” Gray floundered.

“No one cares,” Natsu said it with such certainty that Gray froze for a moment, mouth open, hurting for the other boy. “Not anymore…” Gray filed that away, and he knew that Ur had done the same. Had Natsu lost his family too? Was that why he had been alone? He wanted to ask, but not now, because for all his questions, Natsu was visibly wilting, eyes already at half-mast, so instead Gray leaned forward to catch his wandering gaze.

“I care,” he said firmly, with all the steel that Ms Virgo had, and the gentleness Ur showed him. “I care, and Ur cares…and you’re safe here with us, with me. I promise.” He put every ounce of feeling he had into that last word, and Natsu stared at him for several long minutes, and Gray had the feeling that he was being judged and he found himself unable to move, barely even breathing. There was a fire in Natsu’s eyes, a weight that belied the flush of fever and slight lack of focus in that gaze, and Gray was suddenly terrified of being found wanting, and he nearly leapt out of his skin when a hand grasped him. Natsu’s skin was warm – unnaturally so from the fever- but it was such a far cry from the cold weight on his back that Gray welcomed it, immediately turning his hand so that they were palm to palm, blinking as something crinkled between them.

“I want to believe you…” Natsu whispered, releasing his hand and there was such longing there that Gray wanted to grab hold of him and shake him until he did believe it. But he knew that wouldn’t help and instead he looked at his hand, at the sweet wrapper glistening in his palm. The wrapper of the sweet that he had given Natsu he realised, and he swallowed thickly as he curled his fingers gently around it and lifted his head to meet Natsu’s gaze.

“That’s okay,” he murmured, echoing the words that Ur had said to him a long time ago. “You don’t need to believe it right away, but I will prove it to you Natsu. That you’re safe here, that I care and that you belong here.”

I promise.

[artificialqueens]

Paper Rings (Witney) - opalescentcheetah

A/N: To the anon who requested a fic with “Paper Rings” by Taylor Swift in it: here you go! This was so much fun to write, and I hope it was worth the wait! 

Summary: “Courtney giggles quietly to herself, tucking the slip of paper into her pocket. There must be more of them hidden somewhere… Willam’s playing a game, and Courtney’s going to win it.”

Willam, 5:51 pm: play this song on ur way home xx

Courtney smiles to herself, sliding into the driver’s seat and hitting play. A steady beat fills the car, and she finds herself bobbing her head, humming wordlessly along as the second chorus starts playing.

“I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that’s right

Darling, you’re the one I want, and

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this…”

                                                                ~               

            Courtney is surprised to find the apartment empty when she arrives, the hallways eerily quiet and dark. She flicks a switch, flooding the entryway with golden light, and calls out for Willam.

The only reply she gets is the echo of her own tired voice.

            She pulls out her phone, intending to text Willam, but finding instead that she received a message while she was driving home.

            Willam, 6:04 pm: Out running errands. I left some stuff around the house that u should go look for ;)

            Stuff? Courtney isn’t sure she has the patience for this, but she can’t say no to Willam.

            Courtney, 6:08 pm: Ok. See you soon <3

            If she can’t have a greeting kiss from Willam, then Courtney wants a drink. There’s a clear, empty glass on the bench that, curiously, doesn’t even seem to have been used – there aren’t any lipstick stains on the rim.

            It takes her a moment to notice the small white object curled in the bottom of the glass. Tipping it into her palm, she finds a slip of paper, rolled and twisted into the shape of a ring.

            Paper rings.

            Courtney has known Willam long enough to know she’s planning something. She feels a small spark of excitement building in her chest, her exhaustion forgotten as she unravels the paper ring. Willam’s rough, quick letters are cramped into the small space, smudges of blue ink peppering the edge of the paper.

            Remember that night when we first met? I was high as fuck and you were so unimpressed. Well, look where we are now!

            ~

            She’s sixteen, in a foreign country, lost and alone in a world of people that already seem to know each other.

She misses Vanity. She misses Lisa and Jess, and even all the others that she didn’t know quite so well. At least she knew their names; here, she knows nothing about no-one.

            That is, except for Alaska. Courtney’s not sure where she’d be without her. Alaska is like her Northern Star, guiding her through all the ins and outs of American high school.

            “You’re still coming tonight, right?” Alaska drawls, rocking back in her chair. Courtney watches as she blows a blossom-pink bubble, hears the satisfying snap as it pops again.

            “Yeah,” is all she manages.

            “Are you nervous?”

            It’s only been a week and Alaska already seems to know her inside-out. She shrugs, feigning nonchalance.

            “I mean, a little bit, I guess… But it’s an opportunity to meet new people, so of course I’m going.”

            “Good.” Alaska smiles at her, and Courtney feels a little more relaxed. “I want you to meet some of my other friends, and then we can all hang out together.”

            The bell rings a moment later, and Alaska is the first to stand. “I’ll see you there!” she calls, waving cheerfully as she disappears into the swarm of unfamiliar faces.

            Courtney waits outside, tugging nervously at her skirt as she waits for Alaska. She arrives in a whirlwind, linking her arm with Courtney’s and dragging her through the gate into the noise and electric lights. Courtney stumbles along, not quite sure where they’re going, but content to simply trail behind her.

            “Sharon! Willam!” Alaska calls out over the din of other partygoers. Courtney follows her gaze to see two girls leaning languidly against a nearby wall. One raises her arm in a casual wave whilst the other stares lazily onwards, hardly moving a muscle. Alaska pulls Courtney to a halt before them, grinning brightly.

            “You guys, meet Courtney. She’s new, from Australia. Courtney, this is Willam, and Sharon.” Alaska points to them in turn, and Courtney can only nod dizzily.

            “From down undah, hey?” Willam queries, putting on a false, over-exaggerated Australian accent. “What’s it like coming from nowhere land?”

            “Willam!” Sharon hisses, elbowing her sharply. “Don’t be rude.”

            Willam just laughs, her movements slow and lethargic. Courtney doesn’t even need to look at the joint she raises to her lips to know she’s high. She chooses to ignore Willam, instead extending her hand to Sharon to shake.

            “Don’t wanna pay me any attention, princess?” Willam asks, when it becomes clear Courtney isn’t going to offer her the same formality. She sticks her arm out, waggling her fingers in Courtney’s face.

            Courtney bats her away, slightly exasperated. “Definitely not after that awful Australian accent,” she quips, feeling pleased when Alaska and Sharon promptly burst out laughing. Willam frowns, something flashing strangely in her eyes. Courtney looks away from the streaks of colour in her hair, watching as the smoke spirals up towards the moon.

~

            Courtney giggles quietly to herself, tucking the slip of paper into her pocket. There must be more of them hidden somewhere… Willam’s playing a game, and Courtney’s going to win it.

            She downs a glass of water as she considers where to look. Their apartment isn’t large, but there are countless nooks and crannies Willam could hide an inconspicuous paper ring in.

            It takes several moments of drumming her fingers against the glass for her to realise that she’s still wearing her work clothes, her collar done up tight and stockings itchy against her legs. Upon deciding that a treasure hunt would be much more enjoyable in pajamas, Courtney wanders down the hall into the bedroom.

            The sheets are immaculately made, and there’s a small pile of clothes sitting on the edge that Courtney soon realises are her pajamas. Usually, she’d leave them in a haphazard mess somewhere on the ground or on her pillow, and they would still be there when she returned home. Her heart fizzles with warmth when she realises Willam took the time to carefully fold each garment, creating a neat stack at the foot of the bed.

            And, alas, there is the second paper ring, the crowning glory of the pajama pile. Courtney sinks onto the mattress, muscles relaxing as she unravels the second note.

            Remember when I made you jump in the pool with me in the middle of winter? Alaska said it was cause you were so stupidly in love with me that you’d do anything I asked you to. I think I was a little bit stupidly in love with you, too.

~

            Willam’s explosive splash sends water surging over the edge of the pool, spraying the cold stone and wetting Courtney’s feet. She shivers, standing in the brisk wintry breeze, pulling her jacket tighter around her shoulders.

            It’s her first American winter, and Courtney is struggling to acclimate. She’s used to the warmer Australian weather, when she could wander around the school grounds with nothing but a jumper over her stiff school dress.

            And yet, here’s Willam, leaping into her backyard pool in late November, when the trees have shed their leaves and the sky is crisp and cold. Courtney watches as her head breaks the water, the edges of her eyes crinkling in laughter. She looks gorgeous with her hair fanning out behind her, strands of blonde and pink and blue like the arms of a jellyfish.

            “You two should come in!” Willam calls out, failing to hide how her teeth are chattering. “It’s real nice!”

            Alaska scoffs beside Courtney, shooting Willam a withering look. “I wouldn’t trust you to run a business,” she comments, covering her smile with one hand. “You’d never sell anything when you’re that unconvincing.”

            “You bitch,” Willam gasps, disappearing under the water again. Its surface ripples in the breeze, distorting the shape of her slender figure as she paddles to the pool’s edge. Courtney doesn’t take her eyes off of her as she surges up again, spraying water across the stone as she shakes her sodden hair out of her face.  

            “I’m convincing,” Willam promises, eyes darting over to meet Courtney’s. “You’ll come in, won’t you, Court? Show Alaska how nice it is for me.” She shoots her a winning smile, perfect teeth flashing in the winter sun, and Courtney forgets how to say no.

            She can’t resist Willam. She hasn’t been able to for months now; seeing her always sends a rush of warmth through Courtney’s chest, like a swarm of butterflies with delicate wings tickling her ribcage. It makes her crazy, makes her want to see and touch and just be near Willam whenever she can. She’s not sure whether she loves or hates it; whether she wants to hug or to slap Alaska for forcing them to become friends.

            Her body seems to move without command, stripping her of her jacket, her shirt, and her skin-tight blue jeans. She sees Alaska’s jaw drop, watches as Willam’s eyes light up in triumphant delight.

            “Court…” Alaska’s voice is slow, the hint of a warning lacing her words. “Don’t be dumb… You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

            Courtney’s standing at the edge of the pool now, icy water lapping at her bare toes. “Willam seems fine,” she replies simply, not giving herself a moment to reconsider before she plunges into the cold, blue depths.

            ‘Cold’ is an understatement, as Courtney soon discovers. The water is frigid, chilling her straight to her bones. Her limbs stiffen, momentarily frozen in shock, leaving her drifting deeper in a cloud of bubbles.

            And then she sees a dark shape floating closer, a halo of gold hair around gaunt, elegant cheekbones.

            Willam grabs Courtney’s hand in the water, sending that familiar rush of warmth through her body, and suddenly she remembers how to move. They kick upwards together, breaking into the crisp, clear air, and Courtney can breathe again. She feels a laugh bubble up inside her, giddy and warm despite the blueness of her lips. 

            “You’re both stupid,” Alaska tells them, shaking her head exasperatedly. “So, so stupid.”

            And Courtney just giggles, happy to be here with her best friends, Willam’s arm pressed lightly against hers.

~

            The next ring is in the bathroom.

            Courtney finds it coiled around the faucet when she goes to use the toilet. Too excited to dry her hands properly, she unravels the slip of paper with damp fingers, smudges of blue coming away on her skin.

            Remember our stupid fight? You were nice enough to take me home despite everything. I wanted to kiss you that night, but I was a pussy.

~

            Courtney hasn’t talked to Willam in months.

            She sees her at play rehearsal and in passing in the halls, but Willam never looks back. Her stormy eyes are always as cold and hard as steel, drilling holes in the ground with her gaze whenever Courtney is in her vicinity.

            Watching Willam drift away was like losing a limb. The ghost sensation of her body beside Courtney’s was always there, pulling her deeper into its ethereal embrace and whispering cruel things in her ear. She can still feel it now, in the pounding of her heart whenever she sees Willam and the prickling of her skin when she brushes past.

            Courtney would be a fool to pretend she didn’t know what was wrong. The musical the school had chosen to put on this year was one of Willam’s favourites, and when Courtney had snagged the lead role, Willam stormed off to wallow in her own jealousy. Courtney couldn’t believe Willam was stubborn enough to let such a meaningless situation worry her for so long, but at the same time, she herself didn’t know what to do about it. Willam wouldn’t do so much as look at her, not even when they were side-by-side on the stage, shivering under the scrutinising glare of their drama teacher. 

            “There,” Courtney gasps, pushing the last set board into the storage room. “That’s all of them, right?”

            “Yep.” Bianca wipes her palms on her paint-splattered jeans. “Thanks for helping out.”

            “My pleasure.” Courtney pauses, meeting Bianca’s hazelnut eyes. “How did you like the show?”

            “How did I find it? Well, from the perspective of a crew member sitting backstage most of the time, you all sounded pretty good.”

            Courtney visibly flushes, heat flooding her cheeks. “Shit, sorry. Stupid question.”

            “Yeah, it was,” Bianca laughs, flashing her dimples. “Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

            Courtney waves as Bianca disappears through the backstage door. The auditorium is eerily quiet now that she’s the only one there; the shadows beneath the seats seem darker, the fluorescent lights too bright. She throws on her jacket as she exits out the front of the school, the cool air immediately brushing goosebumps over her skin. A flash of movement catches her attention, and she’s shocked to find Willam there, leaning casually against the school gate as she waits in the dark. She doesn’t acknowledge Courtney, staring resolutely out into the night instead.

            Courtney decides that it can’t hurt to at least try at conversation. She sidles up next to Willam, struggling to keep a cool façade. Sometimes she wonders how Willam does it.

            “What are you still doing here?” Courtney’s voice hardly sounds like her own, delicate and soft, as though Willam’s a wild animal she’s scared of chasing off. She wonders, briefly, if Willam will even respond.

            “I could ask you the same thing.” Willam shrugs briskly, eyes looking anywhere but at Courtney.

            “My parents couldn’t come ’til a little later, so I helped the crew pack up.”

            “Good for you,” Willam snaps, crossing her arms. Courtney doesn’t miss the goosebumps crawling across her skin or the way she shivers, curling in closer to herself. “My folks forgot about me.”

            Pity pierces Courtney’s heart like a knife, and the words spill out before she can stop them. “Come home with me,” she blurts out, immediately wishing she hadn’t said anything. “I-I mean, it’s probably easier, since �� since you live so far away and all. I, uh… you look cold.” She finishes lamely, twisting the hem of her jacket in her fingers.

            It feels like an eternity before Willam finally replies. Courtney’s heart skips a beat when Willam looks at her again, meeting her eyes for the first time in months. “Are you sure?” is all she says, and Courtney’s immediately nodding, hardly able to believe what’s happening.

            “I… uh, thanks.” Willam drops her gaze again and Courtney wants nothing more than to tilt her chin up, stare into those stormcloud eyes and tell her it’s all okay. But she keeps her words to herself instead, letting herself wonder what Willam might say if she told her how much she missed her.

~

            Willam, 6:26 pm: You see a pattern yet? ;) ;)

            A pattern? Courtney’s already noticed how the stories have been in chronological order, but she thought it might’ve just been coincidence.

            Wait. No.

            Willam’s trail of paper rings has followed her usual post-work routine. Get a drink. Get changed, use the bathroom.

            Eat dinner.

            The next ring is in the kitchen.

            Courtney dashes down the hall as fast as her tired legs will allow, nearly slipping on the polished wood floors. She scans the countertop and their small dining table, even going so far as to check every chair, but there is no sign of a small white ring. The seconds tick by as she stands alone, breathing quietly in the wash of artificial gold light.

            Think, Courtney. Dinner. Dinner…

            “The fridge!” she gasps aloud, nearly knocking her hip on the counter in her haste to get there. Last night’s leftover Chinese is still stashed away, ready to be reheated and eaten again.

            Sure enough, the ring is there, perched atop the Tupperware container. Courtney feels a spark of triumph when she sees it. She’s getting the hang of Willam’s little game, unspoken rules cementing themselves in her mind.

            Remember that game of Spin the Bottle, when we accidentally went from friends to this? Fate knew what it was doing when it put you in my lap.

~

            The music pounds through Courtney’s bones, tremors in the ground sending shivers of adrenaline through her veins. The empty bottle glints in the dim light, beckoning her, and she closes her fingers around it.

            The exhilaration is palpable, burning through every fibre of her body and fizzling in the air. It might just be a stupid party game, but it feels to Courtney like a time of exploration. Like this might be a little taste of freedom.

            “Spin it! Spin it!” Alaska starts a low chant, and soon the others are joining in until there is a chorus of voices pressing in on Courtney’s skin.

            She spins, and the room falls silent, everyone’s eyes on the whirling bottle. Courtney waits with bated breath as it slows, and stops, the narrow end pointing like a compass needle straight at…

            Willam.

            Courtney’s breath hitches in her throat, heart pounding at her ribs as though it wants to be set free. Willam beckons her over, eyebrows quirked playfully, and Courtney wonders how she looks so calm. Every inch of her skin feels like it’s burning as she crawls across the circle to sit beside her, just close enough for their skin to brush.

            “What, are you scared?” Willam teases, and Courtney hears someone snicker.

            “O-Of course not.” She’s struggling to keep her voice steady, gaze flickering from Willam’s face to the ground and back again.

            “Pussy,” Willam whispers as she leans in, and Courtney shivers despite Willam’s hot breath on her skin, every touch burning through Courtney’s flesh.

            And then their lips are meeting, and Courtney forgets how to think. She can’t remember how long she’s wanted this for – this moment, with Willam’s fingertips lightly tracing her jawline and her mouth against Courtney’s, is the only thing that’s ever seemed to matter.

            All too soon they’re breaking apart. Willam’s leaning back again, pressing her palms to the floor as she smirks at Courtney. “How was that?”

            Courtney doesn’t know how to speak, her heart in her throat as she replays the kiss over and over again in her mind. “Good,” she manages, voice quiet, hardly able to meet Willam’s eyes. She feels like she might be dreaming.

            “You suck, Willam,” Bianca laughs, snapping Courtney back to reality. “She’s not impressed at all!”

            Willam scowls. “She said it was good, you bitch!”

            “Yeah, ’cause she’s too nice to tell you otherwise!”

            The rest of the circle erupts into shrieks of laughter, and Courtney feels her cheeks burn. She feels sorry for Willam, but she doesn’t have the words to tell her that it was probably one of the best things to ever happen to her.

            So she says nothing at all, slinking wordlessly back to her side of the circle instead.

            Courtney drives Willam home that night. Willam is uncharacteristically quiet, sitting with her arms folded as she stares out the window.

            “Willam,” Courtney finally says, eyes still on the road. “Are you okay?”

            She catches Willam’s shrug in her peripheral vision. A moment’s silence passes between them, Willam shifting quietly in her seat.

            “Yeah,” she finally says. “I was just… thinking.”

            “About what?” Courtney prompts her, pulling the car into a right-hand turn.

            “The kiss. I… was it really that bad?”

            Courtney is so startled she nearly swerves into the gutter. Swallowing back a gasp, she pulls over to park, twisting around to give Willam her full attention.

Willam’s frowning, toying with the hem of her skirt. “Wow. Way to say yes, Courtney.”

“I – no, I – uh, that’s not what I meant,” she stammers, hating to see Willam like this. “It was… it was actually really good. Like… really good.” She falters. Her words aren’t coming to her, slipping away like sand through her fingers. The truth feels like too much, but saying anything else doesn’t feel like enough.

She’s right – Willam hardly looks convinced. “You don’t need to lie, Courtney, I can take it,” she says, voice harder now, and Courtney worries she’s offended.

“Yeah, but, that’s the thing. I’m not lying,” Courtney insists. Why does this have to be so difficult?

            She takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she’s about to do. You can do this. You’re brave enough. She repeats the words over and over in her head, leaning across the console to take Willam’s hand. Blood is pounding in her ears as she rests her other hand against Willam’s neck, pulling her closer. Willam’s eyes flash in realisation and she leans closer without prompting, letting Courtney press their lips together again. This kiss is soft and careful, as fragile and delicate as a butterfly’s wing. Willam seems to melt into Courtney’s touch, muscles relaxing beneath warm, tanned skin.

“I love your kisses the most,” Courtney whispers against Willam’s mouth as they pull apart to breathe. She feels Willam draw back slightly, her fingers still absentmindedly tracing Courtney’s jawline.

            “Then why were you so weird about it at the party?” Willam’s eyes are downcast, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

            Guilt stabs at Courtney’s chest. She fumbles for her words, the silence pressing heavily in on her. “I…” She doesn’t know how to say it, but knows that she should. “I really, really like you, Willam.”

            She’s settled for something simple, and it does the job. Willam rears backwards as though she’s been slapped, her eyes flaring wide open in surprise. “Really?”

            “Yeah, really really really,” Courtney manages to giggle despite her thundering heart.

            “No, I mean, I – are you serious?”

            “Of course I’m serious, you idiot.” Courtney’s gaze is locked on Willam’s, her fingers tangling gently in Willam’s cascading curls. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

            Willam just shakes her head, and Courtney doesn’t miss the wonder in her eyes. “Can… can I kiss you again?” she whispers, pulling Courtney closer before she even gets the chance to nod. Their lips collide roughly, teeth clicking together, but Courtney thinks it’s perfect.

            “I really like you, too,” Willam gasps between kisses. “Really, really, really.”

            Courtney’s silent, too caught up in Willam’s lips to respond. She lets months of desperate, bottled-up feeling release themselves against Willam’s touch, wordlessly showing Willam how her confession made her heart skip faster, heat spreading through her skin like honey.  

            She doesn’t know how long they sit there for, tangled up in each other. Courtney feels warm and soft, like kissing Willam has washed her clean, made her new.

            “Will you be my girlfriend?” Willam asks softly against her cheek, and Courtney wonders how she ever got to be so lucky.

~

Remember the road trip we went on, when I asked if we might be forever? I’m no poet, but I remember how the setting sun turned your hair to fire and I wondered how someone could look so beautiful.

~

            They’re sitting on the roof of the car, fingers interlocked as they stare out over the ocean. The trees whisper in the twilight breeze, cicadas chirping from their branches, but Courtney hardly notices. She only wants to think about Willam, sitting comfortably beside her, her head resting on Courtney’s shoulder.

            The sun is casting orange streaks across the water and turning the clouds to wisps of flame. This sunset feels different somehow; more special. Maybe it’s the endless tangerine sky. Maybe it’s Willam.

            “Courtney,” Willam murmurs suddenly, “do you think we could last forever?”

            Courtney, taken aback by her unusual softness, twists around to face her. Willam pulls herself upright, eyes on Courtney’s face.

            “I…” Courtney takes a moment, sifting carefully through her words. “I’d like us to.”

            “So would I,” Willam agrees quietly.

            A beat of silence hovers between them. Courtney traces her thumb over Willam’s knuckles.

            “I love you, Willam,” she says finally.

            It’s a gentle confession, as light as a butterfly landing on Willam’s nose. She smiles like Courtney’s just kissed her, eyes lighting up like a torch in the dark.

            “I love you too, Courtney.”

~

            Remember when we first moved in and you made me breakfast? It was perfect, and that Monday felt a little less awful.

~

            Courtney’s awake with the sunrise, standing in the dove-grey light of the kitchen as breakfast fizzles on the stove. The morning is dreamy and soft, and the house is warm despite the frost bordering the windowpanes. The kitchen still feels homely, and the silence is heavy and comfortable despite her lack of company. She knows Willam is just down the hall, rolled up in a nest of blankets with her hair spilling out in golden waves onto her pillow.

            The image makes Courtney smile as she cooks the bacon. She’s not used to preparing meat, as she never eats it, but Willam makes strange things worth it.

            The calm that surrounds her is immediately shattered by a series of crashing sounds followed by a chain of expletives. Courtney whirls around in time to see Willam staggering down the hallway, her pajama shirt sliding down one shoulder.

            “Fucking hell. Courtney? …Oh, there you are.” Wandering closer, Willam wraps her arms around Courtney’s waist, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck.

“What just happened?” Courtney asks, running delicate fingers through Willam’s messy curls.

            “I fell off the fucking bed.” Willam’s voice is still thick and raspy with sleep. “Right before my alarm was gonna go off.”

            “Oh my god, you’re so stupid.”

            “You’re stupid,” Willam retorts affectionately, pulling herself back upright. “What were you doing, anyways?”

            “Making breakfast.” The bacon’s done now; Courtney shuts the flame off, piling the strips of meat onto a plate. “There. For you.”  

            The smile that lights up Willam’s eyes sends warm honey flowing through Courtney’s veins. She presses a kiss to Willam’s cheek before handing her a set of cutlery. “Enjoy. Coffee’ll be ready in a tick.”

            Willam doesn’t move for several moments, standing in the kitchen watching Courtney work. “You’re amazing,” she finally says, sounding awestruck. “So fucking amazing.”

            Courtney giggles as a rosy blush tints her cheeks. “Just go eat,” she says, pouring the coffee. She adds the milk carefully, determined to make this exactly the way Willam likes it.

            “Is it okay?” she asks tentatively as she sets the coffee down. The bacon isn’t perfect, and she knows it – it’s a little crisp and burnt around the edges. She just needs to know if it’s edible.

            “I love it,” Willam replies, her tired eyes bright, and Courtney’s face relaxes into a smile.

~

            The next ring is a command.

            There aren’t any more memories of their early days together. Instead, there are six short words.

Go back to where we confessed.

~

Courtney steps outside and the light flickers on, casting the shadows of distracted moths across the stone. The car is hardly more than a silhouette in the driveway, lumpy and distorted and strange. Upbeat music starts playing as she waits, briefly, for her eyes to adjust.

“The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

Now I’ve read all of the books beside your bed…”

The song is familiar, the ride home from work echoing back in Courtney’s mind as she approaches the car.

And there’s Willam, sitting cross-legged on the roof. She looks gorgeous in the moonlight, her skin lit up with silver, and Courtney’s breath hitches in her throat. She’s stunning, and Courtney’s overjoyed to see her. Willam fiddles with her hands in her lap, reaching up to gingerly tuck a strand of starlit hair behind her ear.

“Hey, Courtney.” She slides off the car, heels clicking gently on the stone as she stands and presses a gentle kiss to Courtney’s cheek. “Did you like the rings?” Her grin is playful, but Courtney doesn’t miss the nervousness in her eyes.

“Loved them,” Courtney replies, sliding her arms around Willam’s waist and pulling her close. “But I still love you more.” Her lips graze the edge of Willam’s mouth, and she feels Willam’s breathy sigh on her skin, her back stiffening beneath Courtney’s touch. Standing straight again, Courtney meets Willam’s eyes, holding her gaze for a moment. “What are we doing out here, anyways?” she asks, poking Willam’s cheek. “I know you’re planning something.”

“You’re so daft,” Willam tells her, arms around her shoulders. “I thought it would be obvious.”

“You brought me back through memories that defined our relationship,” Courtney murmurs wistfully, eyes darting towards the car. “Are you going to take me back to all the special places too?”

“I mean, that’s a good idea, but – Courtney, did you even listen to the song?”

Courtney pouts. “You know I suck at remembering lyrics.”

“Okay, yeah, not gonna lie – you really do.” Willam lets out a fraught giggle, and Courtney wonders why she’s acting so strange. She seems stiff, worried – not quite the easygoing person Courtney’s come to love. They stand quietly for a moment, and Courtney hunts for clues in Willam’s features, surrounded only by Taylor Swift’s light, cheerful voice reaching the song’s chorus.

“I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that’s right

Darling, you’re the one I want…”

It hits her just as Willam steps back and drops to one knee. There’s a small, black box in her palm, and she opens it as she raises it towards Courtney.

“Let me make tonight the next step for us,” she begins, and Courtney can only stand and stare at her through blurring eyes, her mind struggling to process what’s happening.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Willam continues, her voice choking up with emotion, and Courtney can see the tears glistening silver at the corners of her eyes. “I want to go through the rest of my life with you beside me. I want this to be our symbol of forever. Will you marry me, Courtney?”

Courtney’s voice is shaky, throat rasping with emotion as she responds. “Yes,” she gasps, smiling so wide her cheeks start to ache. Cool silver brushes her skin as Willam slides the ring onto her finger, and then she’s squealing in delight as Willam tackles her, picking her up and spinning her around.

            “I love you, Willam,” Courtney whispers as Willam puts her down again, their bodies close as they stand, entangled in the moonlight. “I love you so, so much.”

            Willam doesn’t respond, instead pressing her lips to Courtney’s. The kiss is salty with joyous tears, and Courtney feels electric, her body warm despite the cool breeze. The music is still playing in the background, steady rhythms humming through the perfect night.

“Kiss me once ’cause I know you had a long night

            Kiss me twice ’cause it’s gonna be alright

            Three times ’cause you waited your whole life…”

[hotelsweet]

DARCE I FINALLY THOUGHT OF THE PROMPT I WANTED TO REQUEST FROM U!! literally,,,,,literally anything with the protective jake dynamic from maximum security,,,,i would cry so many tears,,,,i WILL cry so many tears,,,bless ur soul thank u in advance i love u dearly

on this week’s episode of Em Wants Me Dead,,,,

in all honesty I rewrote this a few times because I wanted to be completely certain I was hitting that protectiveness right but dear God this prompt came for my soul

anyway HERE

Amy shifts over in her cell bed, wishing to hell she couldrip this stupid fake baby bump off and sleep in an actual, comfortable bed. Sheneeds sleep, desperately, but all she can think about is Maura, and Figgis, andJake.

Jake.

The way he’d triedto protect her. The way he’dadmitted he couldn’t be here while she wassurrounded by these women.

It’s notthe first time she’s seen him protective, not byfar- but it’s perhaps only the secondtime she’s seen him act upon it. Thefirst time was years ago, not long into her job at the nine-nine. It’s perhaps one of her first memoriesof them as real friends, real partners. Warmth spills into her system at thethought of it.

It’sstrange, in a way, she thinks, the fondness this memory elicits- the first timeAmy knew that Jake Peralta would always have her back just so happened tocoincide with one of the saddest days of her life.

Shifting her head against a thin pillow, Amy lets her minddrift, finding the moment and replaying it, in every little detail, letting itlull her to sleep.

 ***

 “Y’okay?”

It’s thisvoice, amongst a sea of others, that catches Amy’sattention. Her eyes rise from her computer screen, and it’s like she comes back to life,snapping out of a daydream; suddenly, she’sstarkly aware of how dry her eyes feel, from staring absently at her screen,and of the concerned expression with which Jake examines her.

“Yeah, uh,” she clears her throat, “yeah. I’m fine.”

“Sure? Y’know, it’s almost the end of the day anyway, I don’t mind taking you home if you’re not feelin’ it.” Jake saysit simply, like it’s nothing, but she knows it’s a favour, a pity-offer.

“That’s nice,” shereplies genuinely, “but I’m really okay. Just tired.”

“Sure. Hey, I think there’s some takeout in the break room, ifyou’re hungry.”

“Oh, okay,” she says quietly, smiling gratefullyover at him.

She clears her throat again, attempting to expel thattightness in her chest, and stands up, deciding a snack and some cold water tothe face     will wake her up a little-she’s still got work to do, and she’s not packing up any time soon.

As she moves, she subconsciously feels herself avoidingeyes. The whole squad’s beenwatching her, and she knows it. Just this morning, her grandfather passed away-and she would have been able to keep it secret, were it not for the fact thatGina had answered the phone this morning, apparently expecting one of Amy’s “nerdfriends” and instead being greetedwith her tearful mother.

It’s notlike she minds things like this interfering with her work day- in fact, she’s more distracted by the devastationaching through her mind and her body, like a numbness just waiting to build up intotears. It’s just the fact that everyoneknows, and everyone’s treading on eggshells around her.She’s barely worked here a year, justabout falling into a rhythm with everyone, and now, just because she’s not quite close enough with anyoneyet, it’s fallen into awkwardness.Even Jake, the biggest pain in her ass since she picked up this job, is beingunbearably kind.

Quickly, she heads for the break room, sighing to herself inrelief at the slight stretch in her legs from standing up and moving around, apleasant contrast to what must have been at leastfifteen minutes sat in silence.

Once she’s inthe breakroom, she finds herself exhaling deeply, finally out of sight fromeveryone else. On the table are a few boxes; some tacos, some chips, somefries- it’s bland, but it’ll do, she thinks, picking at itmindlessly.

It’ssoothing, filling her up quickly.

Right up until, that is, a piercing shout comes from thebullpen.

“HEY!”

It’s Rosa’s voice, but it’s too loud, too much of a warning.

Before she really knows what she’s doing, Amy’s feetare carrying her into the bullpen. It’s aperp, and he’s running- straight towardsher. Rosa’s on the ground next to herdesk, grabbing her shin and breathing hard through gritted teeth. She’s been hurt.

“Amy!” Rosa yells, and at once, Amy snaps back to life. With notime to grab her gun, she’sthrowing herself towards the burly man headed towards her, aiming to debilitatehim with perfect procedure- but he’s twosteps ahead of her, latching onto her wrist and spinning her round so she’s in front of him, held tightly infront of him with her arm behind his back.

“Let me walk and I won’t grab her gun,” he says casually, as if he’s done this a thousand times before.Come to think of it, Amy realises, he probably has. Her mind buzzes, her heartpounding in her chest, immediately thinking about what to do next. Knock himout? Make a move? Stay still?

The entire room is at a complete standstill- Rosa, Charles,and Terry all have their guns pointed at him, which only makes Amy feel sick;while those guns are pointed at him, they’repointed at her, too.

Her eyes scam the bullpen for Jake, but he’s out of his desk, nowhere to be seen.Great. Probably gone for a pee, entirely clueless.

She tightens a little, trying to pull away, but he onlygrabs her tighter, causing her to grimace a little. What a day- losing a familymember, experiencing her most awkward, sad, and slow day at work yet, and beingused as a meat-shield by a runaway perp.

“You’ve got five,” hesays calmly- his voice reverberates against Amy’s back,almost making her shiver. “Four,three, two- unf”

He’s cutoff as he drops to the floor.

Amy spins round to see Jake, holding the guy’s hand behind his back, keeping himagainst the floor with his foot. The whole room seems to breathe a sigh ofrelief; Rosa, though she clearly shouldn’t bewalking, heads straight towards them, and soon enough Terry’s moving over too. Jake, however,remains entirely focused on Amy, his expression still, and tense, and worried,entirely fixated among the chaos of the room.

Terry’smuttering something to the perp about CCTV, and the charges he’s just added for himself byassaulting a cop. Rosa’shissing curses under her breath. Charles is explaining the entire situation toMcGinley, who apparently missed the whole thing.

To Amy, it’s allan even thicker blur, stood watching it all happen, and directly in the middleof it all is Jake, his voice repeating over and over again at her.

“Amy.” His voice is quiet, but he’s allshe really hears.

“I’m fine, thank you for… for…” she says dismissively, moving awayfrom the centre of the bullpen, her head pounding. Air. She needs air.

Faster than she anticipated, she’s outside, sinking against the wall to her knees. Thelate-Autumn Brooklyn evening whispers a brief shiver down her spine, and herarm aches gently from where

His voice catches up with her, but she’s already lost herself, anxietythrumming painfully in her mind, pushing her until she’s curling up, her head dropping into her hands.

“Amy.” He’sbeside her, crouched down, his hand on her arm. “Did hehurt you?”

“I don’t-”

“Did he hurt you?” Jake’s voiceis firm, far more protective than she’s everheard him before. It has her a little taken aback, just for a moment. She feelsherself starting to focus again, the fear slipping away, and she looks up athim. His face is almost angry, brow furrowed, to the point where it almostworries her. She’s never seen him like this.

“No, I’m fine.”

“I could’ve punched him,” Jake mutters resentfully, rollinghis eyes. “I can’t believe it was you… andwith the day you’ve had, too”

“Has that happened before?”

“Yeah. Although, in my fouryears on the force, I’ve onlyseen two other runners.”

“Idiots,” she says quietly, pressing the backof her wrist against her eye. “Y’know, I could have dealt with that bymyself. I was about to go for his stomach with my elbow.” She knows she’s beingstubborn, but she’d rather die than look weak.

“Yeah, I know, are youkidding?” Jake says, smiling in thatway he always does towards her defensiveness. Any other day, she’d find it annoying. Right now, thenormality of it is so perfect it almost makes her cry. “I acted on instinct. Something about seeing you like thatmade me move, without thinking. Eh, I don’t know.”

“Probably a pretty stupidmove,” Amy grins, and he laughs alittle.

“Next time I’ll let you fight your corner.”

“Thanks.”

Jake laughs.

“No,” she interjects, “I meanthank you for helping me.”

“Don’t be stupid, anyone would have done it for their partner,for their friend.”

She smiles over at him for a moment. They don’t move, the noise of Brooklyn trafficfilling the silence between them.

“I think I need to go home,” she says quietly.

“Let me take you.”

“No, it’s fine, really.”

“Amy,” he looks at her simply, “I’m not letting you go home alone. You’ve lost someone important and justbeen attacked.”

“I wasn’t attacked,” she mutters. Jake doesn’t reply, just looking at her,eyebrows raised. “Okay, fine,” she gives in. “I need to get my stuff.” She stands up and brushes herselfdown, inwardly praying she’s notsat in anything gross.

“Nope, I’m being a good friend now, this is it,this is my duty-” he jumps in, and before shecan object he’s running back into theprecinct.

Within minutes, he’s backby her side, leading her to his car, chatting about some candy store downtownthat sells the exact brand of Mexican gummy bears he likes, and it’s dark outside, and cold, and all sheneeds to do is sit in his passenger seat and listen.

And when she starts to cry, silently, letting this awful dayescape her, and he apologises, she knows it’s notfor his stories about candy. It’s forthis absolute bitch of a world.

In the darkness, she finds herself leaning across her seatinto his arms, and crying, for lord only knows how long, in a feat that neitherof them will mention for months.

He’s warm,and still, and accepting. Calm. Ready to be there for her, just as he’d been in the bullpen.

And though it’s along while before she’lladmit it, it’s the safest she’s ever felt.  

Safest she’ll everfeel.

[littlespoonevan]

U TAGGED THAT PIC OF TARJEI AND HENRIK AS MODEL AU AND NOW I NEED U TO WRITE IT PLS ALSO I LOVE ALL UR WRITING THANK

anon said:You can’t just put something like model au in my head and NOT write it!!!!

anon said:EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AUEVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU EVAK MODEL AU!!!!!!!! 👀👀👀👀👀👀

skajdfshjsdfh the picture everyone is referring to is this one. lmao please enjoy some unresolved sexual tension in the name of advertising jeans ;)

*

Isak shows up to his shoot with two minutes to spareand Eskild blustering along half a step behind him, insisting it’s fine, we’re not late, Isak. Ingeneral, with life, Isak can admit he’s not the most punctual person – he likeshis bed far too much – but when it comes to work he likes to be on time. He doesn’twant to fall into that awful stereotype of the bitchy model who makes everyonewait on him or gives unreasonable demands.

He’s chill.That’s why he gets hired – besides his appearance – people like working withhim because he isn’t fussy and generally makes life easier for everyone on setby being that way. It helps that Eskild only ever gets him gigs that Isak is100% comfortable shooting and that Eskild is always willing to step in and bethe bad guy on set whenever anything inappropriate happens. He’ll pull Isak fromshoots without so much as a backward glance at the awful director orphotographer or campaign manager when something happens to make himuncomfortable.

See, Isak appreciates Eskild, he does, he just doesn’t appreciate the factthat Eskild made them get on the wrong tram today and now Isak is sweatingthrough his t-shirt and showing up to set with a flushed face.

The photographer and another boy are the only peoplein the room when Isak and Eskild crash through the door and they both look upfrom the camera in shock at Isak’s admittedly loud entrance.

Isak grinds to a halt, huffing out a breath, andattempting to cross the room at a more sedate pace. “Halla, Mikael,” he greetsin a rush, extending his hand to the photographer. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”He’s worked with Mikael before so he knows he probably doesn’t care but hestill feels bad.

Mikael waves a hand before hopping out of his chairto shake Isak’s. “It’s cool, man. You’re like, one minute late.”

“That’s my fault,” Eskild says, stepping neatly aroundIsak to clasp Mikael’s hand. “Got on the wrong tram.”

Mikael laughs. “You’d think we’d figure it outeventually after living in Oslo all our lives, huh? But you’re good, don’tworry. We’ve got plenty of time before we need to start so I’ll get one of thehandlers to show you to your dressing room and send hair and makeup in afteryou’ve showered.”

Well, good to know the sweat stains have officiallyseeped through his shirt now.

Isak winces but nods. “Thank you.”

Mikael offers him a good-natured grin before his eyessuddenly widen as if he’s just remembered something. “Oh shit, sorry. Isak,meet your partner for the day.” Mikael whirls around, gesturing to the boybehind him. “This is Even.”

Isak had been so distracted by making sure Mikaelwasn’t angry at him he hadn’t even bothered to take in the other person in theroom. But fuck, he wishes he had.

The boy’s fucking stunning. Taller than Isak, thoughnot by much, with swooping blonde hair and bright blue eyes and the dreamiest smile Isak has possibly everbeen on the receiving end of. He’s so busy drinking in Even’s appearance ittakes a second for Mikael’s words to register.

Partner?!

Isak knew this was a partner shoot. However Eskildnever specified it was a male/malepartner shoot. It’s not like Isak’s averse to the idea – that’s kind of theopposite of the problem – but he’s just become so used to a partner shootmeaning having some leggy girl draped over him while he pretends to think she’sthe sexiest human being alive.

He’s pretty sure he’s just laid eyes on the sexiesthuman being alive. And he’s definitely not a girl.

God, he’s so fucked.

Even steps forward, darting around Mikael andoffering him a hand. “Halla! Isak, right?”

Isak takes his hand, repressing the squeak he almostlets out as Even’s hand presses against his palm, and nods his head. “Yeah,nice to meet you.”

“I better let you two get ready,” Mikael says, makingIsak jump and abruptly drop Even’s hand.

Isak is ushered into a dressing room and as soon asthe door is closed behind them, he rounds on Eskild. “You didn’t tell me mypartner would be male!”

Eskild gives him an unimpressed look, crossing hisarms over his chest. “Isak, you’re gay. What do you care?”

“Exactly!” he screeches shrilly, throwing his handsup in exasperation.

Eskild’s expression turns appraising as a calculatingsmile slowly spreads across his face. “Wait, are you attracted to him?”

Isak lets out a noise somewhere between indignationand agreement, gesturing wildly at the door. “You saw him! What do you think?!”

Eskild is positively beaming now as he tilts hishead. “Oh, Isak.”

“Shut up. This isn’t helping. You could’ve at least warned me.” He slumps down in the chairin front of the vanity, propping his elbows on his knees and burying his facein his hands.

“Oh relax, would you?” Eskild tuts. “You’re aprofessional, Isak. You can last one shoot before jumping the boy’s bones. Justask him out for a drink after you’re done.”

Isak makes a noise akin to that of a dying cat,ignoring the unsympathetic pat Eskild gives his shoulder.

“Go shower, baby gay,” Eskild tells him. “I’ll cometo collect you when hair and makeup are done.”

With that, Eskild slips out the door again, leavingIsak to have his existential crisis in peace.

*

Just over an hour later Isak is being led back on setwith freshly fluffed curls and concealer covering his blemishes, feelinggoosebumps erupt across his torso from the chill in the room. They’readvertising jeans so naturally they’resupposed to be shirtless. Isak had considered the fact inconsequential until herealised Even would also beshirtless.

Even is already chatting with Mikael when Isakarrives, and his knees almost give out when he takes in the expanse of Even’ssmooth chest, dotted with moles and lightly defined. The fact that his jeanslook like they’re painted on doesn’t help either.

He’s not going to survive this shoot.

Mikael looks up as he approaches, giving him a thumb’sup. “You look great, dude! Come over here; I was just giving Even a rundown ofthe shoot.”

Isak takes a few tentative steps closer, leaving agenerous amount of space between himself and Even – though he can still feelthe heat coming off Even’s body.

“So, we’re gonna keep it pretty simple,” Mikael tellsthem. “We want it to be sensual, sexy, but also intimate, you know? Sex sellsand everything but we can definitely add a little meaning to it.”

Isak nods, swallowing hard at Even’s enthusiastic, “Sure.”

“Okay, so we’ll do standing shots for now. If there’sanything you’re not comfortable with just shout out but other than that, dowhat feels natural.”

Mikael directs them to their marks and they have afew minutes while the camera is being set up where they’re just standing acrossfrom one another, only half a metre apart, and Isak can feel his heart ratepicking up under Even’s curious gaze.

“I’ve seen some of your work before,” Even says aftera beat of silence that they both spend rocking on their heels, startling Isakand making his eyes go wide. “You’re really talented.”

“Thanks,” Isak replies, dumbfounded. “I- I haven’tseen you around much.” Because he would definitely remember that face.

Even offers him an amused grin, huffing out a littlelaugh. “I’ve actually been studying in America for the past year so I starteddoing work over there to help with rent money. I haven’t been back in Oslo longand Mikael’s a friend so he hooked me up with this gig.”

“That was nice of him,” Isak says timidly, feelinghis cheeks heat when Even’s smile brightens.

“Mm,” he hums in agreement, eyes sparkling like Isak’sawkwardness is endlessly endearing.

Isak scrambles for something to say but Mikael callsthem to attention before he can come up with anything.

“Okay, let’s start it off simple,” he says. “Even,could you put your hands on Isak’s waist? Like you’re pulling him in? Isak,could you put your right hand on Even’s neck? Put your left wherever feelscomfortable, it won’t be in shot anyway. Just stand a little bit closer for meguys and we’re good to go.”

They move automatically and Isak tries to put himselfin his professional, detached frame of mind but as soon as Even’s hands fit tohis waist he feels his mouth go dry. He dutifully puts his right hand over Even’sneck, feeling his pulse point flutter under his palm and places his left onEven’s shoulder, figuring that’s the safest option. They’re close enough nowthat their chests are almost touching and Isak can feel the phantom brush ofEven’s stomach against his own every time he breathes.

“Great!” Mikael calls but Isak can’t look away fromEven long enough to look at him. “Alright, relax your stances a bit and lookinto each other’s eyes. Remember we’re going for sensual but intimate!”

Wetting his lips, Isak lifts his gaze from Even’scollarbones to Even’s eyes and feels his breath catch in his throat. Even’seyes are smouldering and Isak is pretty sure the way his own mouth parts at thesight isn’t on purpose. He doesn’t realise he’s leaning forward until a straystrand of hair that’s come loose from Even’s quiff brushes against hisforehead. He freezes at the touch and, through hooded eyes, just about catchesthe way Even’s lips twitch.

“That looks awesome, guys!” Mikael calls and Isakfinally becomes aware of the clicking of the camera once again. Honestly, hehadn’t heard it over the blood rushing in his ears.

“Alright, Even could you move forward? Maybe put aleg between Isak’s? Isak, could you widen your stance a little?”

Isak obediently moves his feet to standshoulder-width apart and tries not to burst into flames when Even’s leg slowlypresses between his own, thigh just barely brushing Isak’s crotch. Isak bitesthe inside of his cheek to stop himself from reacting.

“Sick,” Mikael declares once they hold the positionand Isak tries desperately to focus on the sound of camera clicking. “Can youlean in again like you were before? Even, maybe move your hand to cup Isak’scheek? Like you’re about to kiss.”

Jesus fucking christ is Mikael trying to kill Isak?!

“Isak, feel free to move your hands too; whateverfeels right!”

Isak barely hears Mikael’s words over Even’s fingersslowly trailing across his jaw, palm fitting to Isak’s jaw as their foreheadsconnect. Isak’s throat bobs and he moves his hands, sliding his fingers intoEven’s hair, and he can’t tell if the shaky intake of breath he hears from Evenis real or imagined.

Their noses brush and their lips part and fuck, Isak knows they’re not going to kiss but itsure as hell feels like it.

It’s agony –to remain still, not to close the distance. His mouth is like sandpaper and hisfingers keep tightening in Even’s hair. Jesus christ, what does this even haveto do with selling jeans?

The rest of the shoot passes by in much the samefashion and when Mikael moves to stand next to them, instructing Even to crowdIsak against the white wall behind them so they’re pressed flush together, Isakvery nearly passes out. Or gets a boner. It’s a tossup between the two, really.

They don’t talk while they shoot – honestly, Isakdoesn’t think he can speak now anyway – and he spends the entire timeperfecting the art of looking at Even without really looking at him. He doeswonder idly though, if Even is naturally this warm or if his skin is justflushed from the shoot. And that’s athought he probably shouldn’t entertain.

It’s almost the end of the shoot. Isak is stillpressed against the wall, one leg hitched over Even’s waist, their hipsperfectly aligned with Even’s hands in his hair and on his waist. His own handsare still buried in Even’s hair and their lips are so close Isak is secondsaway from saying fuck it and kissinghim like he’s been dying to all afternoon.

Even inhales a ragged breath and Isak feels his heartthump heavily in his chest at the thought that this is having the same effecton Even as it is on him.

Their eyes flicker to each other and his breathcatches in a tiny gasp when he sees the way Even’s bright blue eyes have beenalmost swallowed up by his dilated pupils. His gaze flicks down to Even’s mouthand in the same moment he notices Even’s eyes doing the same. Fuck, they’regoing to kiss. They can just say it was part of the shoot.

They’re going to kiss. They’re going to-

“And that’s a wrap!” Mikael exclaims, making themboth jump so hard their foreheads bump. “Shit, we got so much good material.You guys have insane chemistry.”

Mikael trails away from them when he doesn’t get aresponse, turning instead to his assistant photographer to examine the photoson the camera.

Isak’s leg had dropped from Even’s hip when Mikaelspoke but their hands are still twisted up in each other and when they slowlylook back to each other Isak has to remind himself to breathe.

He opens his mouth to say something but Even beatshim to it.

“Go for a drink with me later?” he asks in a rush,eyes wide like he didn’t expect himself to say that.

A disbelieving laugh is punched out of Isak’s chestand he nods, uttering a breathless, “Yeah.”

Even grins, shoulders slumping in relief and lookingendearingly awkward as he glances off to the side. “We should probably um- getchanged or-“

Isak doesn’t let him finish his sentence, using thehands still in Even’s hair to reel him in and crush their mouths together.After a moment’s surprise, Even responds enthusiastically, pressing Isak morefirmly back against the wall and squeezing his hips. Isak feels like all hisnerve-endings are on fire and it’s only the knowledge that they’re not alone inthe room that makes him rip his mouth away from Even’s after a searing moment.

“I couldn’t have waited ‘til tonight to do that,”Isak admits with a huff.

Even had been staring at him from the moment theyseparated but the incredulous smile that spreads onto his face at Isak’s wordsis something else.

They look at each other for a moment, grinningstupidly, and this is the last thing Isak expected to happen when he showed upfor the shoot today.

They’re brought back to reality with two peoplepointedly clearing their throats. Their heads snap to the side at the same timeand Isak finds Eskild and Mikael watching them with a mixture of incredulityand amusement.

After a beat of silence, Mikael turns to Even. “Iasked you to do this shoot to get you a job, not a date.”

Even pauses before looking back to Isak with playfulgrin. When his gaze returns to Mikael he sniffs. “Please, Mikael. I got that myself.”

(He ends up getting more than just a date.)

*

[joyfullynervouscreator]

The Guard, the Axe, and the Song

Bifur’s story! I have a serious soft spot for Bifur as a character and he deserves so much better than he was given in the movies :(

At only ten years of age, Bifur, son of Bilbur, was old enough to understand what ‘going to war’ meant. When his father and uncle left to fight in the War against Orcs, however, Bifur did not understand that it would eventually mean the destruction of his small family. His uncle Bjartur came back – sans one leg – but his Adad did not follow. Bombur, who had lived with him and Amad while his own Amad went off to fight in the war too, got a wartime baby brother. Aunt Moda had been sent home when her superiors discovered her pregnancy; little cousin Bofur was born about a year before the terrible battle that claimed Bilbur’s life and his Adad’s leg.

After the war, their small mining settlement swelled with the refugees of Erebor; where before, the settlement had only been the home of the miners who worked in the coal and copper mines that still yielded ore, it now grew to ten times the size, as more and more displaced Longbeards, Firebeards and Broadbeams trickled in. Life under the King was very different to life under the old Lord Overseer, though that was mostly because of the sudden influx of people. The mines yielded as little as usual, and many Dwarrow found themselves needing new – basic – crafts; goldsmiths became blacksmiths, wire weavers produced cloth instead of finely woven mesh, and potters no longer made china so thin it was almost transparent, painted with delicate motives, instead turning their hands to the shaping of everyday cups and plates.

 Six years later, Amad died. When he grew up, Bifur would realise that the loss of her One had caused his Amad to die of a broken heart, even more than the pneumonia that eventually claimed her life, but at the age of 25, all he knew was that he was suddenly an orphan.

 Living with Aunt Moda and Uncle Bjartur wasn’t too bad, in Bifur’s opinion; they were always a close family, and treated him well. He liked playing with his little cousins – Bombur was only two years younger than him, and they usually felt more like brothers than cousins – and even though Bjartur’s battle scars were not limited to the leg that the Orcs had hacked off, life in the Ur-household was usually peaceful. Bifur did not blame Bjartur for the nights when his Uncle woke screaming, or the days when he saw Orcs lurking around every corner. When he joined training for a position in the Guards, Bjartur had cried like a proud Adad, and Moda had brought him a treat every week like clockwork while he lived in the barracks, just like any of the others’ Amads.

 In Guard-training, Bifur had made new friends; while he wasn’t the most popular recruit around, he was generally well-liked. He was especially fond of Dwalin – an Azanulbizar veteran and a cousin to the new King! – who had recommended him as a caravan guard when he finished his training. Eager to see some of the world, Bifur had accepted, a few years later even finding work for his younger cousin Bombur as a cook for one of Master Gróin’s trading caravans. He did not get to travel with Dwalin on every job, but often enough to keep their friendship solid; deep enough for Bifur to be the one Dwalin unloaded his worries unto when his unsettled relationship with Thorin grew too thorny in his head. Slowly, Bifur built himself a reputation as a reliable and brave guard, trustworthy and capable of ensuring the safe arrival of any type of cargo. As they travelled, Bifur would often find himself whittling to pass the night, he preferred listening to the songs and stories told around the campfire rather than participating, but his companions usually left him be when he stared pensively into the fire; between his hands, fantastic animals took shape, eagles, rabbits, horses or whatever else took his fancy. Selling the small toys in the towns they passed brought Bifur a nice little bonus, as well as the joy of putting a smile on the faces of the children who often did not have many toys to play with. Bifur had often wondered if he would ever find someone with whom to have children, but he had never felt even a hint of the Longing, so he counted himself among those who did not have a One waiting somewhere in the world. He watched his cousin fall in love with the beautiful smith/bard, counselled the cook when his shyness got in the way of his honest heart, and he felt a small twinge of jealousy, but it was only a sense of wistful longing. Bifur had – though he had tumbled with his fair share of lads and lasses over the years – never felt in love with anyone.

 The morning of what would later be considered the last day of his life before, Bifur woke like usual, ate his breakfast like usual, saw Bofur off to the mines like usual, and went to work his shift on the guard-rota – also as usual. When he was not out with the caravans, he worked for the City Guard, which did not pay as much, but was generally less risky than protecting shipments of silver while travelling across Arda. In truth, most of the day went as it usually did, patrolling Shale Street and Granite Row, going up through Carnelian Street and back down Quartz Corner back towards Shale Street. As he walked the beat, he greeted those who greeted him, enjoying the peace of winter-time in Thorinuldûm.

The first sign that this day would change his life was a shout.

“Thief!” someone cried up ahead, “Stop him!”

Bofur set off running along with Boril, his patrol-partner for the day, and joined by a couple of the newer recruits who had been patrolling nearby streets. The thieves – no one Bifur recognised, blonde braids flashing around a corner and a black-haired Dwarf behind the blonde – were slowly losing their advantage; swiftly pursued by the axe-wielding spice merchant they had robbed. Later, he’d realise how inexperienced they were, and curse his luck, but in the middle of the hot pursuit he did not care that they were so easily cornered. The merchant got there first, but it would have been a straightforward arrest if the temperamental Blacklock had not decided to exact his vengeance rather than let the guard mete out justice.

“Please, Master merchant, your goods’ll be returned to you and the thieves will face the King’s justice,” Bifur said, trying to calm down the irate merchant, who was attempting to get past him with the axe that he wanted to use to cut the raids off the two youths who were cowering in the corner of the alley, already expertly tied up by Boril and under the watchful eyes of the two recruits.

“What’d you steal,” Boril asked.

Eyeing the merchant warily, the blonde thief – obviously fairly young, the dark-haired being the older of the pair – said, “Cardamom and cinnamon, milord,” Bifur sighed. Spices were expensive of course, he had been a part of more than one caravan bringing them up from the south, Gondor and even Harad, but the theft was hardly worth the merchant’s unbridled fury.

“I will have to ask you to calm down, merchant…” Bifur trailed off, realising that he did not have a name for the Blacklock Dwarf. Turning his head to look at the two hapless thieves, Bifur kept his arms stretched out to stop the enraged merchant passing him. The sight of the young recruit beside the blonde thief who was gaping incredulously was the last sight he saw before everything went black.

  When Boril had subdued the Blacklock merchant, he sent one of the recruits as a runner to fetch a healer for Bifur, before turning to the two young would-be thieves.

“If you help me get him,” he gestured to the bound and gagged merchant, “back to the guardhouse immediately, I think the Shumrozbid could be convinced to let you off with a warning for the stealing. Deal?” the dark-haired one nodded, elbowing his blonde compatriot, who had taken one look at Bifur’s gory wound and was then violently ill in the corner. Boril nodded. With quick moves, he untied the two thieves, letting them take position at either side of the murderous merchant while the last recruit – who gave his name as Bragni – took the rear guard, his short sword aimed at the merchant’s kidneys in case the Dwarf got any ideas about running. Boril himself picked up Bifur, getting the shock of his life. “He’s still alive!” he gasped, before taking up running down the short street towards the intersection with Shale Street where a Healer had his residence. “Tell Dwalin I’ve gone to Healer Dufa!” was the last words he tossed over his shoulder before he disappeared around a corner. Grim-faced, recruit Bragni and his temporary deputies began the task of herding the arrested merchant back to the guardhouse on Granite Way.

  Dwalin, upon hearing the breathless report from the first recruit, whose name he didn’t catch, wasted no time in getting to his feet and running towards the practise of his cousin, Óin. As he moved swiftly through the streets, he sent off a small dwarfling to fetch Bofur from the mines, with the message that his cousin was dying.

  Bofur was at work, when the Foreman – his Grandfather’s brother – came running. He’d been teamed up with Víli, who was a good friend of his, even if he’d gone and become a nob by marrying the Princess, and they both dropped their tools at once.

  Dufa considered herself a decent healer, familiar with all the various crush injuries related to the dangerous work of mining for coal and copper in unstable mountains. When she opened the door to the frantic knocking of the Guardsdwarf, however, she saw something she would never have believed possible if the proof wasn’t breathing in front of her. The Guardsdwarf’s friend had an axe lodged in his head… but he was still alive!

  Bursting into Óin’s surgery without so much as a knock, Dwalin simply grabbed his cousin – who had been examining a swollen ankle, it seemed and was hardly busy – and ran back out the door.

  “He’s as good as dead. There’s nothing I can do.” Dufa did not want to extinguish the hope in the eyes of the two grimy miners who had joined the Guardsdwarf while she examined the injury carefully, but she did not want to offer them false hope. “I can’t remove the axe without killing him, and, if I’m honest, I don’t understand how it didn’t kill him already.”

 After his examination, Óin said pretty much the same. “However,” he said, when his cousin opened his mouth to protest, and not wanting to be the reason for Dwalin losing his closest friend. “We can remove parts of the axe… make it lighter. As long as Bifur keeps holding on to life, there is hope. I agree with Healer Dufa that we cannot pull it out, it is lodged too deeply. We would do more damage pulling it out than it has already done.” Pulling out his toolkit, which Dwalin had apparently managed to grab in his mad dash through the surgery, Óin carefully began removing all visible splinters of bone from the wound.

  “King’s Court in emergency session on this day, the 15th of ‘Afdush, in the year 286 of the Third Age of the Sun is now called to order.” Thorin bellowed, his voice carrying loudly over the heads of the enraged Dwarrow milling about the King’s Hall. “Voice for the Accusation, step forwards and present yourself.”

“My King, I, Dwalin Fundinul, Shumrozbid-ugjaj[1] of Thorinuldûm, do speak for the Accusation.”

“The Crown recognises Dwalin Fundinul as the Voice of Accusation.” Thorin waved to the Dwarf on the other side of the room, while Balin made note of the Acceptance at his scrivener’s post. “Voice of the Accused, step forwards and present yourself.”

“My King, I, Varna, daughter of Yngva, was assigned to be the Voice of the Accused, but he refused my services,” an elderly dwarrowdam said, bowing once in Thorin’s direction before returning to her seat.

“Who, then, will speak for the Accused?” Thorin asked.

“I will speak for myself, King Thorin,” the Dwarf in chains sneered. “I am Harval, son of Humli, of the line of Hrodulf Snake-eye, nephew and Heir to Lord Roaldi of the Blacklocks of Orocarni.” Sharing a look with Balin, Thorin managed to contain his sigh; this case had just gotten complicated. He did not let the possible ramifications stop him from going forwards with the trial.

“Voice of the Accusation, you may approach and state your case.” He said, knowing that his obvious refusal to act like Harval had probably expected and throw the whole trial away, would be considered a slight. He’d have to send a raven to Lord Roaldi later. Dwalin easily commanded the floor.

“The Accused is facing trial on the charges of attempted vigilante justice, interfering with the Guard in pursuit of their duties, brawling in the streets, as well as the attempted murder of Guardsman Bifur, son of Bilbur, while Guardsman Bifur was in pursuit of his duty, viz a viz recovering Master Harval’s stolen property.” The loud uproar in the room as the final charge was stated almost deafened Thorin.

“How do you plead to the charge of attempted vigilante justice?” Thorin asked, looking straight at the arrogant Blacklock, who seemed to think his name alone should guarantee his release.

“Not guilty. It’s not a crime to hack off a few braids. That thief should be glad I didn’t get to take his hand!” Harval shouted.

“How do you plead to the charge of interfering with the Guard in pursuit of their duties?” Thorin asked calmly. He was not surprised by another answer of ‘Not guilty’. “How do you plead to the charge of brawling in the street?”

“Guilty, I did fight, but only because your Guards were doing such a pitiful job!” Thorin wanted to pinch his nose, beyond certain that Harval would – at the very least – give him a massive headache by the end of this trial, not to mention the diplomatic mess his actions had caused.

“How do you plead to the charge of attempted murder of Guardsman Bifur, son of Bilbur?”

“Not guilty. If I’d wanted him dead, he’d be dead!” Harval sneered. Thorin blanched. How could any Dwarf sound happy about having nearly killed another Dwarf – only by the grace of Mahal and Yavannah did Bifur still draw breath, and none of the Healers who had examined the Dwarf with Master Harval’s axe embedded in his skull could say if he’d ever wake up. The uproar this time was even louder.

“Dûm takt!” Thorin shouted, and eventually the crowd fell silent again.

“Voice of the Accusation, present your witnesses.”

The trial continued.

  Elsewhere, Bifur was existing in the darkness. He did not know how he knew he was awake, considering that no part of his body seemed to respond to his commands. He did not know why the lack of movement did not frighten him, but he felt overall quite calm. Somehow, the darkness was amused.

“Anyone here?” he tried to ask, though no sound passed his lips.

I am here, Child, a Voice answered.

“Am I…dead?” Bifur did not quite know whether he wanted to hear the answer to the question, but it made him no less confused to hear it.

Not yet… not quite dead, but not quite living. Bifur would have sworn the Voice was laughing. That choice is yet before you, Child Beloved by Stone.

“Choice?” Bifur had never heard that the dead could choose whether they died or not, and for a brief moment, he felt a stab of pure rage against his Amad for choosing to leave him so many years ago.

For you, there is a Choice, Child Beloved by the Mother. The Voice remained on the cusp of laughter, but Bifur could hear His absolute solemnity in every syllable.

“Why?” Bifur wondered if asking the question was a mistake when the Voice did not reply. Just as he began cursing himself for a fool, loud laughter sounded in the darkness.

I can see why She liked you, Child.

“Who is this ‘She?’” the Voice had not punished him for his earlier question, so Bifur dared ask his Maker another. He was absolutely certain he was in face speaking to the Father of all Dwarrow, the Voice of Mahal echoing in his bones.

The Mother of Stone. Her warmth shelters my Children when they are cold, Her beauty brings my Children joy when they are sad, and Her Voice soothes my Children when they are afraid.

“But why does that mean I am not quite dead nor alive?”

I love all my Children, Ugrurûbdag, but some of them are special to the Stone, and some your adopted Mother takes to Her heart so strongly that She cannot bear to see them wilt before their time. And some… some are blessed with the love of both their Mothers, and they are the most loved of all my Children.

“Yavannah loves me?” Bifur felt confused. Even with all the sagas and legends he had heard about the Wife of Mahal, the Queen of the Earth, the Bringer of Life, he had never heard that she held any particular fondness for her husband’s Children.

I do, a different Voice said, sweeter and gentler than the Maker’s, with a certain musicality to it. You are one I have touched as you lay in my husband’s forge. Bifur felt inexplicably warmed by the strength of Her smile as he could almost see Her beautiful face before his eyes. My gift is the Choice.

It was not your time to join my Guard, Bifur, son of Bilbur, but the Choice is yours. Remember, Child, that every Choice carries a consequence.

 The last thing he heard, before he woke to a world of white-hot agony, was a gentle Voice, different from the others, and much fainter, saying, wake up, my Child, listen to my Voice, and wake up.

 That Voice, he would slowly come to realise, was the Voice of the Stone Mother, who sang in his dreams.

   When the pain of the axe was simply a memory, and Bifur felt truly awake for the first time in a very long time, he found that his tongue would no longer shape the once-familiar syllables of Khuzdul. Instead, his mouth would only speak in words that his family did not understand. In a final act of desperation, Bofur brought his gibberish-speaking cousin to the Singers of the Way, wanting them to try to commune with Mahal to find the answer to Bifur’s problem. Instead, Bifur finally found people who could speak to him – there were only Master Singer Melka and her apprentice Oluva – and discovered the full consequences of his Choice.

 All Gifts have a Price, Child, sang the Voice of the Mountain, you will never speak the words of the Children of Mahal again, but you will Sing.

  The first Cantor Ered Luin had heard since the Breaking was born.

  [1] Leadership-follower (basically assistant commander)

[almaasi]

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

[sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog]

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

"Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand?    I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance?    thanks for ur help in advance

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Help! I need auto insurance fast?

I'm 23 years old and need auto insurance immediately. I live in California and would prefer to have nationwide coverage. I am single, no kids. I'm really considering liability or something low-end because insurance here is a lot more than what I was paying in Pennsylvania. I am also a full-time student and heard that might get me a discount with some agencies. Any advice?""

Does anyone know the car insurance laws in new york state?

Ok. I am seventeen years old and i want to get my drivers liscense but my parents wont let me because they wont pay for my car insurance. Does anyone know the laws for underage drivers for car insurance? I would be driving one of their cars and i wouldnt have one of my own. If you can site a source, it'd be great cause then i could show it to them. thanks.""

Which insurance is the cheapest insurance in houston?

I am 21 year old and I got no insurance for my car. so, which insurance is the best and cheapest insurance in houston. Help me!!""

How much information can car insurance companies see when you get a quote?

I let my car insurance lapse about a year ago and have been driving without it (I know, not good) and my girlfriends dad is an agent here in ohio. he asked to quote and i gave him my information... can he see that i dont have insurance? what about my credit report?""

How do I cancel my Kaiser Permanente insurance?

A wise person once said you have to be the change you seek in the world. I am a fit young man that is fed up with the current health insurance scheme in the United States and want something like the system that Singapore has. My plan is to cancel my health insurance, save the money in a high yield savings account for emergencies and actually take a nice vacation every now and then. A vacation to a nice country would increase my overall health way more than health insurance. I will also take out catastrophic insurance for just in case I get into something my medical fund can't cover. It makes no sense for me to pay thousands of dollars every year into medical insurance when I haven't been to the doctor in over 2 years. Can I get my money back? My health is fantastic and I try very hard to keep it that way. I hate going to the doctor. The problem is my company is saying I am only allowed to make insurance changes once a year--in June! I think they have some sort of special deal with Kaiser. Is there anything I can do? I love my job and don't want to quit on principle.""

How much does teen car insurance cost?

I'm 16, and I'm about to get my drivers license. My dad is insured through the aarp people because its cheaper for him. he called them to ask how much it would cost to put me on his insurance, and they said 120 dollars a month. I thought this seemed a little unreasonable, because i'm just going to drive a three thousand dollar car like twice a week. How much do you/ your parents pay for car insurance for young drivers? I have good grades. can that get me a discount?""

Question about car insurance...?

im trying to figure out if im being ripped off by my parents. i pay $200 every month for car insurance because that's what my parents tell me it is. I got one speeding ticket for going 14 mph over the limit and in 2 minor accidents. no damage to either cars. my question is am i being ripped off? I told some people that i pay that much and they said there is no way your insurance could be that high. help me out please?

Car engine and insurance?

Would a jetta 2.0 Turbo, have a higher insurance rate than a Jetta 2.5?""

""Car title, insurance, different names?""

Can the title of your car and the insurance be in different names, or do they have to be in the same name??""

How much would car insurance go up if...?

My family and I are just trying to get a ballpark idea of how much my sister's car insurance would go up if we made a claim on an accident she had. She was in a mall parking lot and pulled out to make a left turn. I think she didn't really see a car coming, but I also think the car was zipping around the lot at a too-fast speed. My sister got hit in her driver's door and needs a new door and the frame of the car needs pulled out. There are no witnesses to really show who's fault it is, and I think it's a little of both judging by how much damage there is on her car (the other driver had to be going fast). There is no damage on the other person's car. It costs about $1500 to get it fixed (just the bare minimum - a new door from a junkyard and fixing the frame, just to make it safe and sealed, there will still be some dents). We're debating on claiming it or not because there is a $500 deductible. She is 25 years old and hasn't had an accident before. How much do you think the insurance would go up and how long would it stay up? Would it be worth it to claim it or should she just pay cash for the damages? Thanks!""

Car insurance for someone driving my car? lil bit complicated =)?

My boyfriend drives my car occasionally and my full-coverage insurance will cover him and my car if he were to get in an accident. However, since I am still a student in college I'm on my parents' car insurance (have to pay them back once I graduate =P ) and they say that they don't want anyone who's not on the insurance policy to get in an accident and raise the family's rates, e.g. he's not allowed to drive the car. Understandable, however they won't add him onto our policy even if he pays his share himself. Now it's their prerogative, I'm not questioning that, but is there ANY way to purchase him automobile insurance that get's tapped FIRST in the event of an accident? ...To backtrack a little I've just researched non-owners policies, but they seem to work only after the initial insurance of the car (in my case my family's insurance) get's used up and the non-owner's insurance is used as a last resort; this still raises my family's insurance rates if there was an accident with him as the driver even if he had his own insurance. Does anybody know of any types of insurance that covers him driving my car without raising my parent's rates in the event of an accident? Thank you in advance! =) Oh and please don't say that he shouldn't be driving my car, etc. It's more of a hypothetical question as he rarely does but I'm getting tired of my parents getting on me when things happen, like getting the stomach flu when we're out and about and having him drive home, telling my mom later when im miserable, and her saying i don't care that you had the stomach flu he can't drive your car without his own insurance. Yay. Thanks, Mom.""

Old bmws? Insurance? Cali driving age?

Hey, im 14 from California and will be 15 in september. I was wondering if anyone knew any nice older bmws, i like the e46 m3 and stuff but i was wondering if there were some other nice powerful ones i should know about. I dont want to spend more than 18k on the car itself. My next question is how much insurance usually is, i know its more expensive for a sports car but how much? The insurance doesnt factor into the 18k for the car, i was just wondering. And last, what is the absolute minimum age for driving in cali? My school is too far to walk or bike ( like 8 miles) and i cant really get a ride, i usually end up taking a city bus then walking 2 miles but the bus runs late a lot and im tardy for school. I say that because i heard there are special permits to just go and from school. Please reply of you know the answer to any all these question thanks!""

Can we get cheap car insurance in the UK as Australians?

My partner and I are moving to the UK in March and had intended to buy a car. Just an Astra or something for under 1000. However, when I put our details into insurance websites it tells us we will have to pay upwards of 2000 for 3rd party insurance. I realise this is because we have not been residents or have held UK licences but is there any way to get something cheaper? This seriously hinders our plans, we can't afford that amount of money but were really hoping to have a car. Can any one give us any advice? I have put in that we have a UK licence (as we would be prepared to get upon arrival and would have to any way after 12 months) but this does little to change the quotes.""

Any one know about car insurance for teenage driver in north carolina?

so im going to be driving soon and i will need to get insured. does anyone know how much this will cost if i live in north carolina? by the way, i dont know what car im getting...im looking. ;] so it would be helpful if you could give me a range for different types of cars. oh yeah, and sources would be nice. =] thanks a bunch!""

Who sells the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

Who sells the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

When do you qualify for health insurance?

Is it normal for an employee to require a year of service as a fulltime employee to get health insurance?

Dentist cost for teeth cleaning without insurance?

I live in Fairfax, VA and was wondering how much would it cost for the teeth cleaning with no heath insurance. thanks""

Car insurance?

when someone gets a speeding ticket it affects the cost of their insurance. how many years does this affect the cost? do all forms of tickets, traffic, moving and parking violations raise the cost of liability car insurance? and how long for?""

""In California, is there a penalty for not having car insurance, even if it's temporarily?""

The car insurance on one of my cars runs out in a few days, and the insurance for the second car runs out at the end of this month. I was thinking of holding off on getting insurance for car #1 and start a policy for two cars at the same time. Of course, I don't intend to drive car #1 while it's not insured, it will just sit in my driveway. I heard that in some states, they will charge you for each day that your car is without insurance, even if you don't drive it. Is that the case for California?""

What is the average cost difference between full coverage insurance and liability insurance?

approx how much difference that is, like are we talking about couple hundreds 300-600 or alot more than that? thank you""

What is the least expensive color of car to insure?

I know red is the most expensive. I've heard that white is the least from one person and green is the least from another.

Health insurance question?

Can anyone explain the difference between state, federal and private health insurance if you're unemployed?""

How much would you estimate a 16 year old driver would pay for insurance on a G35 coupe?

I'm currently 15 and, when I get my first car, would really like an Infiniti G35. I can find them in my set price range (>15000), but my parents are worried about the cost of insurance. My parents are covered .9under USAA currently with two vehicles. I have a 3.9 GPA, play sports, and, if given the opportunity, could use my natural wit and charisma to impress someone into lowering the price (I'm not sure if this is even a possibility, I'm just saying that if it is, I could do it). I wouldn't be getting the car until after my initial 6 months of restricted driving is finished. Once again, I'm not sure if this affects anything, but maybe you'd like to know. I appreciate any input.""

I can't afford my car insurance...?

I need transportation so I can work. But why should I have to choose between car insurance or food and medicine? Shouldn't the Government come up with a single payer plan for automotive insurance too! Its not fair that I have to pay for this out of my own pocket.

How will my first speeding ticket in Florida effect my insurance?

Ok I'm 19 and just got my first speeding ticket on the way to work today doing 9 miles over. So my question is how many points are added to your license for doing this much over and is there any way to avoid getting these points? If not, how will this affect my insurance? Is it going to skyrocket, even though this is my first speeding ticket ever?""

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand?    I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance?    thanks for ur help in advance

""Just got 3 tickets, how much does insurance rise?""

I was driving 79(the cop said this, i realy was not going this fast) in a 50 and got a ticket for that. I have a provisional license(I am 17) and had a total of 2 passengers who were not supposed to be in the car(including myself there were 4 people in the car). I also did not have the red sticker on my car. I live in New Jersey. This is my first offense. How much will my insurance rise? I get 4 points for the speeding, and i do not believe any others because points are for moving violations. 220$ for speeding, I believe 100$ for the red sticker, and I have no idea for the extra two people. They are minors, and no i did not get reckless driving.""

Car Accident - Auto insurance Question?

Today I was involved in a horrible collision. Car made a complete stop put hazard lights on, I made a complete stop at a reasonable distance however 15 seconds after I stopped I look at the mirror and a taxi van cab slams right into me my car goes flying forward hits the truck infront of me and bounces back, air bag goes off . Long story short I'm in horrible pain and have evident bruises . Police arrived filled out reports. The man that hit me was found at fault for both collisions. So my major concern is : I called my insurance company , made the claim they took down all the info but at the end of the conversation she told me that if I don't have full coverage I'm out of luck then she asked me if I do which I don't remember . So I'm taking a look at my policy contract and I don't see anywhere where it says full coverage ... I think it is full coverage since my car was being financed. All it basically says on the contract is liability limit $ 1 000, 000 So if they write off my car what happens next?""

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old?

Hi iv just bought a Volkswagen Golf S 1.4l engine and can only get quotes for car insurance of around 4k - 11k. Does anyone know of any insurance companies who can offer a lot less on insurance for teenagers? Thanks

Cheap auto insurance in Austin?

I just got my first car and I am looking for auto insurance for the first time. Which companies offer the best rates? My car is 1988 mazda

Where is a good place to get a car and cheap car insurance?

My husband is in the navy... does the military have a car place we can go to or car insurance we can get?

Insurance for a honda civic?

I am 16 years old getting insurance for the first time got my licence a week ago never driven on it.....i want the simplest insurance ever something that will let me drive my car legally

Is there insurance for a person that doesn't own a car and rental company doesnt provide insurance?

I want to rent a car but the rental place close to me doesn't provide insurance. They said I would have to provide my own. Is there insurance that will cover me while I rent the rental car? And if there is who will provide that for me?

How much money do i need to save up for my first 6 months of insurance?

I will be 16 or 17 at the time of receiving car insurance and right now I am 15. This summer i will be getting a job and will buy my own cell phone and pay my own cell phone bill($130 for the phone $42 for the total bill). Let's say I receive minimum wage ($7.25) and am payed around $800 a month. If I begin putting aside money out of each pay check ( which will be roughly around $400) for car insurance and do this for around 12 months how much money will i need to put aside out of each paycheck ($400) to be able to pay for 6 months of car insurance? Also, my mom is going to let me buy her car in payments (at most it will cost $2000 altogether), how much should I put aside for that, so i would be able to buy her car at one time in 12 months?""

Why would any sane young adult pay thousands in health insurance premiums to subsidize old baby boomers?

They could pay nothing and get 95 dollars less on their tax refund next year. They could use that money now to pay down credit cards, etc. Under the new rules, individuals choosing not to carry insurance are subject to a penalty of $95 per person each year, or 1% of household income, whichever is greater, beginning in 2014. Over time, the penalty increases, so that by 2016 the penalty is $695 per person, or 2.5% of household income. Even the increase in the penalty is miniscule when compared to the premium prices. So again, WHY would any sane young adult get pay thousands of dollars in premiums?""

Auto insurance question?

I am paying $166 monthly for 2 cars, full coverage, 6 month premium around 970. I'm not sure if that's cheap or expensive. What is the average most people pay for 2 cars? I'm curious. I have insurance through USAA.""

How do you get proof of car insurance without a car?

I had my brother listed as a driver on my insurance policy and he is moving so will no longer be using my car. The insurance company is requiring that I show proof of insurance before removing him from the policy. They are telling me there is no other way to remove him from the policy due to a DUI charge. Is it even possible to get car insurance without a car? What should I do?

What affordable health insurance is the best one out there for me? I have no health problems except BP I am 58?

I will be divorced in 2 months and will have to find my own health insurance. I have been with Anthem for 14 years and have no health problems and no medications except 1 blood ...show more

Does two mortgages on a home make your insurance more expensive?

If I get a second mortgage on my house will my insurance go up?

Will a Red Light Ticket affect my insurance?

I ran a red light today (i wasn't even thinking and just ran it) there are cameras there so I'm pretty sure ill get a ticket , any who i live in McKinney, Texas and the fine they send in mail is 75 $ and since I'm 16 have to go with my parents to court so will this one ticket make my insurance go up ? is there a possibility it won't go on my record?? I have all state and am a male i make A's and B's (education discount)""

AUTO INSURANCE FOR YOUNG DRIVERS?

I've been driving since about last summer, and i've tried looking for some auto insurance inexpensive something i can afford, no luck so far, i heard there is a government sponsored insurance that can help people out so they wont be driving around without insurance? is this true? or does anyone know cheap auto insurance, im a good driver its just check points really scare me when im out during the weekends. thanks!""

Car insurance coverage?

If i have a provisional license in California (been driving for under a year) and I get in a accident with someone in my car under the age of 20 years old, will my car insurance still cover it? I know I am not supposed to be driving anyone yet but I am trying to prove a point to my dad! Please help! thanks:)""

Does this letter help explain why insurance is expensive?

This is a letter from Anthem to Sec. Sebelius back on February 11th, almost a month ago. It explains why insurance in California is high and what factors have led to the increase. It seems pretty clear to me and yet the President claims that he has asked for and has yet to receive a cogent response from the insurance company for this increase. Seems pretty cogent to me. Maybe the President is just a slow learner or the fact that he doesn't have any education or experience in business or economics make the concepts difficult for him to grasp. http://www.wellpoint.com/pdf/SebeliusLetter02112010.pdf Notice that they mention that their rates are less than the 'not for profits' and that much of their increase is the result of Medicare patients needing supplementary insurance because Medicare won't cover them. Notice, too, that the cost of insurance is directly associated with the cost of health care. You can't reduce the cost of insurance without reducing the cost of health care. Obama's initiative does nothing to reduce the cost of CARE. Wonder why that is. Could there be an ulterior motive? So what do you think? Do you have any questions? And please don't waste our time. Read the thing before you respond.""

Only eligible for group insurance?

My husband is only eligible for group insurance due to multiple injuries/surgeries obtained from playing sports. His employer does not provide benefits, nor does mine. I was able to get insurance privately, but they refused him. What else can we do?""

More Better? Car Insurance Question?

We have 2 cars and currently 2 drivers on our insurance (my husband and I) and we were wondering if we add his mother on there will it be cheaper? The thing is his mother does not have a license and does not know how to drive, would it still be cheaper if we add her to our insurance?""

I just got a great site for car insurance on here... lets go for dental.?

I now need some affordable dental insurance... please send me a site or two?

I applied for Car Insurance and...?

They asked me if there any other drivers in the house. I told them my parents and my older sister have insurance.. I am 24 and they said thanks for telling us? The question is does that mean they can once in a while borrow my car and they are covered?

What is the average homeowners insurance cost in CT for older homes?

Just got quoted an annual premium of $2300(!!) for homeowners insurance in a rural CT town (ISO rated 9/10) for a 300ish year old home in the 250-300k range. That seems exorbitantly high. What are others paying in CT for similar old homes in these quaint new england towns?

Regarding Auto Insurance?

Applied online to AAA for an auto insurance quote.. Currenty with Geico and AAA ssent email offering to beat the rate.. So I completed the app online nad a gal calls me back.. My GF answers the phone and she gives it to me.. So the rep from AAA asks who is living with me and if she drives.. I told her a friend and she doesnt drive, no DL for over 10 years.. So AAA tells me I have to list her on the policy even if she isnt licensed and never drives a car.. So I said No thanks and said goodbye. whats the policy on roommates having to be insured for auto insurance? Not listed on my current GEICO policy.""

Insurance is a scam?

Why would we need it to be a law? Insurance is in case something happens, well what if nothing ever happens, all that money goes straight into their pockets. If it's law, they should make a new law where, after a certain number of years that you never got in an accident you get your money back. The main reason a hit and run occurs is, jail, or they don't have insurance. You would solve half the problem! I read in the DMV booklet that you can show proof that you have $35,000 in an account, and you wouldn't have to pay insurance, does anybody do this?""

Cheap NY auto insurance ?

hi there, i plan on buying a car soon but im a new driver and i have no one else to help me insure a car so i have no choice but to insure it on my own. I've checked and looked around geico, state farm, all state, and they were all to expensive, anywhere from 5-6k to insure the car for a year (way to expensive). So do any of you guys know any NY auto insurance companies that are affordable? Thanks""

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand?    I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance?    thanks for ur help in advance

Buying life insurance for unemployed adult son?

I have a 24 year old unemployed son who works only temp jobs when they are available. I'd like to make sure he's covered if anything happens to him - what's the best route to take? I live in California, he lives in Ohio. Can I add him onto my job's insurance policy, or will I have to purchase it some other kind of way?""

What would be the average price of car insurance for a 18 yearold driving a scion tc in Florida?

Thinking about buying one, trying to see what the price of insurance would be like.""

What Multiline Insurance Company is the Best?

I need an insurance company that will do all line of insurance. Life, Auto, Home, Disability, Long Term Care and even Financial products. I heard COUNTRY insurance does that but I'm not sure.""

17 year old responsible driver that can't find car insurance?

I have a 1997 Mercury Sable with an ABS. I am a full time student and also have rent to pay. I need car insurance and fast, but nobody wants me for a decent price because of my age ...show more""

Proof of Insurance (NJ)?

Today, while driving home from school, an officer stopped me. I pulled over and proceeded to give him, my license, registration, and insurance. However, I was not given a ticket for speeding, but for failing to produce insurance. He told me that copies of insurance do not count, yet I gave him not only a copy, but the original which had been torn. Will I be charged with failure to produce insurance, even though I had a copy, and the torn original ?""

How much would th insurance cost on an old muscle car?

I am looking to buy an old muscle car and i wanted to know how much the insurance would be. Is it a good idea to go with an ild muscle car I am 16 Live in california No big buildings in my town I have good grades Would most likely use it as a daily driving car

Which car insurance company has the lowest rate?

Does state farm have the lowest car insurance rate?

Why bother with insurance?

it seems like a big waste to me. The whole point of it is to save money. But it does the exact opposite. the insurance people always screw you over and find some way to get out of paying for whatever it is!

Wat do u think insurance would cost for a 1967 mustang?

i try to find it on insurance company pages but it dont help

Insurance question?

do you have to be married to someone to be on their health insurance?

How can I get my insurance cheaper?

21 years old 0 claims bonus first bike : 1998 r1 (already got it) what are some ways to get my insurance down? thanks

Question about car insurance?

What is the average price difference between full coverage and the lowest coverage? What exactly do they cover? And are there options in between? I know it differs from company to company, but I would like to know what the average difference is. I have enough money for a car, but as soon as I find a job, Im going to buy one, but I need to know what im going to be paying for insurance, and what is right for me. Im going to be spending between $1500-$2000 for the car if it makes a difference, thank you.""

Please I Need Help On My Car Insurance?

I just bought a car and i don't want to pay huge car insurance. Anybody care to help me out may be a recommendation of place i can get it a little bit cheap

Insurance price on 2001 Eclipse?

Im a 17 year old driver, so instantly high lol, but its an automatic 2 door eclipse but only 4 cylinder and automatic transmission. What would you think the insurance be and how would that compare to lets say... a honda civic""

How much is car insurance for a 21 year old female?

I'll be a first time driver as of next month and I was curious how much I'll be looking at as a ball park estimate on my insurance rates. I know I'm a late bloomer for driving but I have never needed it as I live in a city. But as I want to do and go more places, I need a car now. Especially since I'm moving out of state, on my own, in 6 months. I was wondering how much I'm going to be looking at. I'll be driving a small sedan, maybe a 04-05 Honda Accord or Civic. I live in Texas now but I'll be moving to Ohio, in February, and if anyone could give me rates for both places I'd be much obliged! Thank you so much for even answering my question :)""

I am in phoenix arizona. What insurance company is best for a 18 year old driver with a DUI?

I know he should not be allowed to drive but he needs to get to college. No he is not going to take the bus!

Car insurance for minors !?

So im 16 and have my permit. I have to take 3 behind the wheels with an instructor until i can take my license test. But when and if i get my license can i be on my dads insurance if i do not live with him. My mom will not pay anything for my insurance so if i want to get my license i have to be on insurance and the only insurance i can get is with my dad. So does anyone know if i can be on my dads insurance if i do not live with him? or must i be on my moms?

Anyone know about maternity insurance?

I am recently married and my husband and I have been trying for a baby. We just recently added me to his insurance and of course, added maternity coverage to it. We were told that it wouldn't take effect until November 1st. My question is-if I were to get pregnant before November 1st, would the insurance not cover the pregnancy? I have a friend that seems to think if I were to get pregnant before then, if I didn't see a Dr until after November 1st, then it should be okay. Any idea what is correct?""

""Car accident,no insurance?

My Sister got into a car accident . well they hit her in rear side of the car. Tough it wasnt her fault does the other person pay for the damages even though she doesnt have any car insurance? This happend at her school. She was hit by another student that she knows that attends there...no police report was made but she gave us her information. ...So what im asking does it matter if she doesnt have car insurance? can she still have her car fixed?

How do i go about getting car insurance?

ok so i just bought my first car but i dont know a thing about getting insurance nd what not.. my mum said something about third party insurance and greenslips and what not. what's the first step i should take?

Car Insurance?

I want to cancel my insurance or rather freeze it until the 3 November. Would i get into trouble though if i took it to the garage when i had cancelled my insurance or eve froze it..

""If i own a car, can someone else be the named driver on insurance?""

I own a car under finance, but i cannot drive the car anymore. is it possible for another person to insure themselves on the car and be the main user of it?""

Is it true that my auto insurance rate will increase even if I repair my car privately?

My new 2009 honda civic's rear bumper got a little bit disfigured and scraped after a stupid little accident. Is there any way the insurance company would find out if I repair it privately (not through the insurance company)? If I bring it to the dealer body shop or a third party body shop, will they report it to the insurance company? I heard they will register the damage with the car's VIN to Carfax and that way the insurance company will know. Is that true?? Please advise. Thanks!""

Florida - Car Insurance Question?

A friend of mine who lives in Florida said that he has to pay for car insurance even though he doesn't own a car and doesn't drive his parent's car. Is it true that by ...show more

How much will my car insurance cost?

I'm a 16 year old female in Connecticut with a GPA over 3.5 and only a's and b's. I also took the drivers ed course and I will be driving a 2008 jeep grand Cherokee.

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand?    I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance?    thanks for ur help in advance

Car insurance help?!?

Can I purchase car insurance and not own a vehicle? The reason I ask is because lately I've been renting vehicles and they charge for insurance, by request. I figure since I use rental service often that I could go ahead and get low price insurance. Any ideas?""

Insurance fraud or what?

i have a question in I believe early 07 someone was driving my car, crashed it, took off n threated me if i said i wasnt driving, so ehh 4000 in damages.. the insuranced paid for it, n i said it was my fault. how long till its off my record and insurance is cheaper?? (sucks there isnt a way to wipe it off.. errrr)""

How do I get secondary health insurance?

I'm a full time graduate student currently receiving health insurance through my parents. However, my coverage sucks and I would like to purchase secondary insurance. I looked through all the different plans on einsurance.com (united, humana atena, etc), but when I called they told me that I can't purchase it when I already have insurance. I did some searches for secondary health insurance, but I can't find companies specifically for secondary insurance. It seems that I should be able to purchase any type of insurance I want and that the secondary company should pick up some of what my primary doesn't. Right?""

Health Insurance in RI?

Im 25, married, with a 1 year old baby.Im trying to find a family health insurance plan for my family.The company that I work for offers health insurance but the rates are very high, I can not afford what they offer, however it is hard to find Health Insurance elsewhere because my employer does offer it.What are my options?(I live in RI.)""

What type of insurance covers any driver who gets behind the wheeL?

and what is liability insurance and who does it cover?

Car insurance for teen help?

So am buying a car and my parents don't have a driver license But i Do But i am only 17 which makes the insurance a lot . So my moms friend said he would put me under his insurance but he isn't Driving but he has a valid new your license . So is there a way for me to be under his insurance with the title of the car in my name ? or does it have to be in his name does he add me to the policy as a Additional driver & The car Or just me alone and not the car ? what would happen if i get pulled over and the title is in his name ?

What is the best car insurance for a first car and someone in the early 20s?

Hey guys.. So, i'm only 22 years old and i'm looking to to buy my first car really soon but first i want to find a good and affordable insurance agency. So far i'm looking to compare the following insurance companies: Geico, State Farm, Progressive, State Farm, etc. Any other suggestions would also come in handy.. Thank You!.""

Buying car insurance?

Do you have to buy car insurance before you get a car from a dealership? Can you drive home and then get the insurance when you're home? Does the dealer provides temporary insurance?

Part-time job enough to pay car insurance?

Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-olds car insurance? How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly?

How much would car insurance cost for a new driver? liability.?

im bout to be able to get my car so i need to kno how much car insurance will cost for me. new driver. and liability coverage.

Car insurance for new driver?

i'm looking to get my G2 tomorrow. i'm unsure what to do about insurance. i'm 17 and currently living with my mom, and often driving her vehicle. i'm planing on getting my own car soon though. do i have to go under her insurance? or do i have to go on my own?""

To restart car insurance they want money down?

I was paying $140 a month for 6 months of car insurance. Around the 6 month mark or a little before i said i want to cancel and they said if i cancel today i wouldnt owe anything and my policy be good until 6-22-2011 (i called in may). I tried to restart the policy today and they want $290.04 down,which includes $143.68 for any previous balance and/or any state-mandated fees or charges* If there was a previous balance why did i not owe anything???""

Poll: How much do you pay for auto insurance per year?

could you do me a favour and also tell me what kind of car you drive, age, and gender? don't worry not trying to stalk anyone or something, I just want to see what do most people pay for insurance. I don't know much about what's a good or bad price, all I know is the rate for the car I want and I want to see what it is compared to other people's rates. if you don't want to answer you don't have to because I know some people might not be comfortable saying this stuff to strangers. also any offences? thanks!""

What happens if I cancel my car insurance policy?

I can't pay my monthly car insurance note. What will happen if I just cancel the policy before the payment is due? Will they still flag my license if I just cancel the policy?

What is the best car insurance for teenagers who got their first car?

I have a 1989 Toyota Camry thats need insurance so i can start driving it.

How much does disability insurance cost?

my 28 year old non smoking healthy wife who works at a computer for 30 hours a day was quoted $130 per month for $3000 per month of disability insurance. is that reasonable?

Car insurance quote sites not recognising vehicle reg?

Hi my partner is thinking of buying a car and we're looking at gocompare.com and confused.com but we are not getting anywhere as neither website recongise either the vehicle registration number or the make and model of the car! we know it is genuine as we have done a vehicle check on it. any ideas why we can't get quotes? it's a nissan pickup from 1999. many thanks

I'm buying my first used car when I turn 18 next month. How much am I going to pay for insurance by myself?

I just want to know how much money I will have to pay each month for car insurance. The used car is about $5,000.""

Am I covered by Insurance if I drive my girlfiends car?

I have insurance with progrssive on my cars and she has state farm on hers. Would I be covered ??? Thanks, Mud Bug""

Health insurance and medical abortion?

so i just took a pregnancy test today im 18 and pregnant. i cant sleep i cant eat im a mess. i need to terminate this pregnancy asap so i can get on with my life. i called my health insurance HealthNet, and they DO cover the medical abortion (abortion pill) thats not plan B. its the abortion by medication. they also said i need to find an obgyn to approve it or something then its all covered. so i called one and they said i have to pay 750 dollars!!!! even if they do cover it i still have to pay that! im in california btw, and i dont even have 100 dollars. could i go to a hospital that covers me and get it for free? or for atleast 100$? at most? or do i have to go to plan parenthood at spend the 350.""

I got a ticket and need to know what my insurance will cost?

I got a reckless driving ticket I'm 16 no other tickets or wreck I have Erie insurance What will my insurance cost bcus my mom canceled it and I have to pay it now

I need to health insurance but i got laid off work...?

I understand that i need health insurance. Cuz face it, you never know when it's necessary. I've been looking for a job since I got laid off in March. Cobra turned out to be too expensive. What are some low cost health insurances that are good? Since i'm low on cash i dont wanna throw money into a bad insurance company. Are there any programs in California that can assist me? At least until i can find a job.""

Health Insurance Company?

What is the best health insurance company in United States?

Is there cheap car insurance in tucson az?

my car insurance ends tommarrow and i really need new car insurance that is cheaper then what i am paying now. i have a 2007 prius that i am financing on so i need full coverage and i ...show more

What's the best company to get individual health insurance? What organizations offer group health plan?

I am talking about health insurance that covers doctors, prescriptions, and hospital expenses.""

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand?    I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance?    thanks for ur help in advance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/good-affordable-dental-insurance-isaiah-hicks/"