#to those of you talking shit about the soundtrack in the notes

[xnalux]

streamer!vi hcs

part 2 part 3

my first time writing hcs so

warnings: none, fem!reader

pictures are from pinterest and they're not mine

streamervi: her streamer name is @/vistandsforviolence

streamervi: her rooms is a fucking mess, the walls are filled with mishmash of posters, stickers and colorful doodles jinx drawn on the wall herself. The floor is a sea of tangled cables, snaking around piles of discarded energy drink cans, scattered notebooks filled with doodles and half-written to-do lists. Her bed is a disheveled mountain of blankets and pillows with one corner serving as a laundry basket for her favorite band tees and worn-out jeans. It 100% stinks in there.

streamervi: set up is even worse, her streaming equipment is scattered across every available surface: a webcam held together by duct tape and hope, a ring light that flickers with an eerie glow, and a microphone that's seen better days. The desk is a minefield of controllers, half-eaten snacks, and sticky notes with hastily scribbled gaming strategies.

streamervi: has the wors wifii, she would probably stream better from a cave in the middle of nowhere.

streamervi: if jinx is home when she is streaming, everytime vi leaves the stream to go to the bathroom or get some snacks, jinx run in her room and takes her place ''hello guys it's jinx again, the cooler sister here to reveal all the dark secrets of vi'' and it would end up with vi wrestling a screaming jinx out of her room ''SHE WET HER BED TILL MIDDLE SCHOOL''

streamervi: she plays dark souls sice she started streaming ad still hasn't finished it (probably destroyed 25 controllers playing it). Everytime she dies, which happens more often than she'd like to admit, she slams the controller down on the desk screaming ''I'm done with this shit man'' but dives back in the game thirthy seconds later with a "alright, Dark Souls, you think you've seen anger? you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

streamervi: she totally cried all her tears playing the last of us and has a crush on ellie always making comments throughout the gameplay ''man she is so hot'' ''look at those arms'' ''if she is not ellie i don't want her''. She giggled watching the dina and ellie couch scene ''get that girl ellie!'' and a second after when she got in a chasing part of the game she bacame an anxious mess ''i want to go back to banging on the couch, i want to go back to banging on the couch''

streamervi: hates horror games but the chat is always requesting them because her reaction are hilarious. Everytime she plays an horror game her hands get sweaty and she secretly lowers her headphones's volume because the soundtrack makes he anxious. She suddendly start reading the chat every two second just for an excuse to pause the game and end up bickering with them

@pinksmasherz ''guys she is scared shitless, she alredy paused 10 time and it's only been 15 minutes lmao''

''you know who was scared? your mom when she gave birth to you'' before literally jumping from her seat ten seconds after and close the game.

streamervi: totally posts thirst traps in her ig stories and brags about the numbers of girls who liked it during her streams. She shows the pictures to the chat and smirks ''bet you losers want to be me so bad''

@sapphicnightmare: ''delulu is the solulu''

@zaunfinest: ''bet she never had a girlfriend in her entire life #vstandsforvirgin''

@getjinxed: ''I'm her sister and i can confirm she is a loser and a virgin #vstandsforvirgin

''Powder get the fuck out of my stream or I'll tell vander you blew up the mcrowave again''

@getjinxed: ''#worstvirginsister

streamervi: who totally has a crush on you since you two got matched up playing valorant. vi was being her usual self, she started talking a mile a minute and cursing at the enemy team as she got more and more worked up. you found her endering so when she complimented you about a skilled heal ''Nice one!" you decied to turn on your mic ''thanks'' she suddendly got into gay panic as she heard your voice and ended up dying

Her chat went wild

@piltiegoth: "very smooth"

@Ekk0:"Looks like she's finally found someone who can shut her up!"

@zaunfinest: "she is totally blushing, what a loser"

@getjinxed: ''#vstandsforvirgin''

''not that hashtag again''

streamervi: who silently sends you a friend request as the game ended. You became a constant in her lives, she always askied you if you were up for a game together even tho her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink, visible even through the webcam's glow every time you said something and she stumbled over her words, calling you "dude" one second and then switching to "bro" the next, as if trying to find the perfect term of endearment.

streamervi: when you two finally exchanged ig she was having dinner with powder and vander and almost choked staring at your picture. powder peeked to her screen from where she was seated next to her.

''who is @pixelprincess? wait isn't she that girl you always play valorant with during your streams? the one you've got a crush on?''

powder asked her munching over a chicked wing as vi got red faced

''i don't have a crush on her''

vi said but the words came out high pitched and totally fake

''yeah right, you always try to act cool when she is playing with you lowering your voice and shit, loser''

powder snikered as vi just got even more red and glared at her

''she is totally out of your league sis''

streamervi: who after months of pining after you (even the chat was tired of her loser crush on you) and powder threatening to reveal her baby naked pictures on the internet, finally asked you on a date. you met in a cafe downtown, she was so nervous she ended up talking the whole time and spilling her coffe all over the table. By the end of it she was sure you were going to block her as soon as you got home and never talk to her again. After she insisted to walk you home and you were standing in front of your home she took a deep breath.

''Listen I'm so sorry about the coffee. And the talking. And just… everything. I promise i'm usually not such a mess but i'll understand if you if you'll never want to see me again...''

she started rambling and only shut herself up when you planted a quick kiss in the middle of her cheek

''I liked it''

you smiled at her as her cheeks flushed and she brought a hand over the skin you just brushed with your lips.

''you liked it''

vi repeated as she stood stunned watching you nod your head, your pretty smile never leaving your face. And in that moment she knew she was a goner

streamervi: who the night after she kissed you for the first time, not a kiss on the cheek, not a peck but a proper kiss turned on her stream still high on dopamin from your date just to scream

''LESBIAN WON AGAIN!''

as she stood in front of her screen with her fist raised in the air and a stupid grin on her face.

''are u hearing this guys? sorry to break the news like this but i'm oficcially off the market ladies''

@sevikunt: ''she probably kidnapped her''

@viktorious: ''trolling''

@chadjayce: ''I refuse to live in a world where she actually get laid and i'm still single''

@pixelprincess: cute ♡

@getjinxed: FUCKING FINALLY

vi was staring at your message in the chat with a stupid lovesick grin on her face

@getjinxed: oh no she is even worse than before

[sboochi]

Listen, I like the idea of human!Star as much as the next person, but that's the point. I like the idea in my head.

To be honest, if this was the direction the creative team had gone with, I probably wouldn't enjoy it to this level. So it can stay in my head.

Anyway, I liked the movie! More opinions down below.

People are acting like it's the biggest disgrace ever happened to the animation industry and it feels..... so over-dramatic?? The movie isn't perfect, of course, but chill, have y'all forgotten about the emoji movie???

Also reading some people's comments feels like they don't want anyone to enjoy the movie, which sucks. I mean, I checked the tag here and it was An Experience.

Personally I liked:

Asha's little friend group! "But they don't have a real personality" boohoo the httyd and big hero 6 gangs didn't have more than 1 trait and nobody ever complained this much

The visuals were gorgeous. I guess this is personal taste but I LOVED the watercolor-esque backgrounds

I liked the songs, especially At all costs and This wish. I don't have a problem with the lyrics because I haven't listened to the soundtrack in English, but I've never really cared about lyrics anyway

Magnifico was a delight (evil arc my beloved)

There are a few things I would have handled differently, but again, it's taste:

Please let us have a protagonist with a very different personality from the usual Disney Heroine. Give me shy, give me nerd, give me sassy

I was hoping the queen's decision to side with Asha would be harder to make. I would have showed her struggle with her love for Magnifico and her people, I want the d r a m a

Poor Asha's mom deserved better

I know it's frustrating seeing all this negativity, but I think it'll die down with time. People were shitting on Moana and Zootopia too, at first. Hating this movie with passion is just the latest trendy opinion (you know those. You've probably seen them on tiktok)

(Please note I'm only talking about Wish. The "Disney the company" topic is too big for one post)

TLDR Wish isn't perfect, people just like to be mean. You're allowed to like it, whether others agree or not

[yerimacoustic]

𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♡ 𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

❝ 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞’𝙢 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙞 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

summary : after impulsively quitting your job and moving back to your hometown, you reconnect with a childhood friend of yours and rekindle your relationship. you even take the opportunity to get closer to your former crush upon realizing he actually does know you exist. however, you realize that you might be in over your own head when faced with complications involving family, responsibilities, and love.

content warnings : librarian!boo seungkwan x gender neutral reader, college professor!oh sehun x gender neutral reader, EXTREMELY slow burn, implied love triangle, childhood friends to (eventual) lovers, swearing, stress and angst, banter, very very brief mention of implied death, not proofread. 11.6k wc. mostly inspired by kdrama : love next door, it’s the ‘it’s always been you’ trope you guyssss

soundtrack : those eyes by new west, scott street by phoebe bridgers, ceilings by lizzy mcalpine, i hear a symphony by cody fry, the loneliest time by carlie rae jepsen, always been you by chris grey (will add more)

additional notes : this is going to be a multiple part series! i’m talking about EXTREMELY slow burn. don’t mind me adding sehun into the mix, i am a big fan of his lately.

it felt like nothing had changed. the pavement on the sidewalks was still loose, the grass near the empty fields was still much too tall.. everything was still so close. that was, of course, the main reason why you instructed your uber driver to drop you off at the coffee shop near your house. heaven knew you needed the extra ten minutes to clear your mind with the help of some fresh air, anyways.

you didn’t see yourself coming back home, not for a while at least. the plan had always been simple: graduate college, get a well-paying job, get married, start a family.. well, at least, your parents had always found it to be simple. you made it to step two, which you were able to give yourself at least some credit for.. unfortunately that was short lived, considering that one day at lunch with your boss, you made an impulsive decision to quit your job. 

you stopped in place at a familiar crack in the pavement, one that you remembered tripping over and promptly falling off your bike several times in your youth. how in the world were you supposed to face your mother and father? how were you supposed to summon the courage to tell them that you were currently unemployed and had no current plans for the future? that you were too burned out and exhausted to even begin looking for a new job?

maybe a nice cup of coffee would provide all the answers… except they were closed. shit.

the only thing left to do, obviously, was to procrastinate going home as much as possible. which, of course, meant exploring the street you knew like the back of your hand. the benches near the coffee shop looked exactly the same, the tiny post office, the library.. wait.

the library!

luckily, they stuck to the same schedule implemented from the time you were working there, which meant you had less than thirty minutes to step inside. as you swung the door open, the loud bell announced your arrival- not that it startled you. you’d grown numb to the loud clanging sound, almost as if you had been conditioned. once inside, you were greeted by the nostalgic smell of parchment and cinnamon, comfortable silence and dimmed lighting. there were two other patrons in there that you knew of, who were quietly huddled in the corner reading separate books. 

stepping up to the front desk, you looked around the calming, tranquil space with a content grin. much like everything else in town, the library had stayed exactly the same. there were still paintings of landscapes and skylines scattered along the walls, a fireplace in the back area, comfortable bean bags and rugs… and..

“seungkwan?” you whispered, your eyes going wide.

the young man in question was pushing a cart of books with his back towards you and had already begun to carefully set them down on the nearest shelf before he heard someone speaking behind him. the last person he expected to see standing behind his counter was you. as far as seungkwan knew, you had no plans of returning home. 

his eyes went wide as he turned back, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. he did his best to keep his voice down as he saw you and stood frozen in place for a moment, dumbfounded. “y/n??”

you smiled sheepishly upon taking note of your childhood friend's reaction. it was truly one for the books, but you still couldn’t hold back from teasing him, whispering, “well are you just gonna stand there or…?”

“ugh, fine. get over here.” seungkwan let out a mocking huff of annoyance before carefully setting the last book down on the cart and rushing to you. he flung his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a tight hug, one that seemed to convey all the sentiments that had been lost to you for four years now. all of the tight hugs, the words of affirmation, the quality time spent after school and work.. 

he finally spoke up again, making no effort to keep his voice lowered down. “what are you doing here? how long are you in town?”

you chuckled awkwardly, waiting for just a moment longer to break out of his embrace. “um..indefinitely?”

seungkwan’s eyes narrowed. “whoa.. i didn’t think those big shots in the city would let you take an indefinite hiatus...”

“oh.. yeah, what can i say? they love me over there.” you mocked a hair flip for dramatic effect, earning a scoff from seungkwan. 

“well hopefully your work ethic’s better now than when you were working here with me.” he rolled his eyes while reminiscing several shifts gone wrong in your time together at the library. they still blew his mind several years later; how difficult could it be to work in a building full of books?

you furrowed your eyebrows. “what are you talking about? i was your favorite coworker.”

“nuh uh, you were my only coworker. big difference.” seungkwan waved a finger to you with a growing smirk, his eyes still narrowed. 

you swatted his shoulder. you would never admit out loud that you definitely were not the best employee, that you would rather spend the day reading or distracting seungkwan as much as you could than get any actual work done. still, you hoped that at the very least, seungkwan enjoyed his time with you. “come on. you know i made things more entertaining around here.” 

your best friend let out a prolonged sigh as he made a dramatic show of pulling off his striped apron and folding it over the front desk. “i guess.” he paused, rolling up the sleeves of his large sweater to his elbows before folding his arms. “have you been home yet?”

your heart skipped a beat at the sudden confrontation. “well.. not exactly. my plane just landed.”

“really? i’m surprised that your folks didn’t come pick you up from the airport..” he shook his head, a grin of amusement slowly starting to surface. seungkwan seemed to have been gifted with intuition after years of being your closest friend; judging by your body language, alone, he could tell that something wasn’t quite right.

“about that,” your tone suddenly grew hushed as you rubbed the back of your neck. “i didn’t exactly tell them i’m coming home.”

“hmm?” seungkwan furrowed his eyebrows. “why wouldn’t you tell them something like that?”

you parted your lips before the proper excuse could come to mind. but.. neither of their birthdays were coming up. it wasn’t a holiday. and you definitely had nothing exciting to share with them in person. you barely made a sound before the loud bell across the room announced someone else’s arrival. your heads snapped towards the doorway, your own eyes going wide at the revelation..

“hey sehun,” seungkwan greeted halfheartedly, as if it was customary for the other man to show up fifteen minutes before closing. he moved to stand behind the counter while you stayed frozen in place, watching the taller man make his way to the two of you. 

sehun was exactly how you remembered him too. tall, stoic, smartly dressed.. classically handsome. in the four years you’d been gone, you hadn’t forgotten about the infatuation you had developed with him in college. not completely, at least. he carried a large pile of books in his arms, which he set down carefully on the counter in front of him. “hey, thanks for helping me out. you’re a lifesaver.” 

“no problem.” seungkwan went to work immediately, starting to log the books sehun had borrowed into the ancient computer resting on the counter. he glanced to you before explaining, “sehun got that teaching degree. he comes in here every so often to borrow some extra books they don’t have on campus.”

just as you nodded in understanding, sehun looked over his shoulder to see you already staring at him. his eyes went wide as he wore a deeply apologetic expression, “oh! hey..y/n. it’s y/n, right?”

“yeah, yeah, that’s right,” you chuckled.

“it's good to see you,” he grinned modestly, turning his back on seungkwan in favor of facing you fully. “i haven’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”

“i relocated for work after graduating but..i’m back here now.” you punctuated your statement by shrugging halfheartedly, chuckling under your breath. to tell the truth, you were surprised sehun had even noticed you were missing; he never paid much attention to you in school. it wasn’t like you were nonexistent, but more like he always had something else on his mind. 

“indefinitely,” seungkwan chimed in, much to your annoyance. 

sehun raised an eyebrow. “indefinitely?”

you felt as if the two of them had backed you in a corner. it was difficult to ignore seungkwan as he leaned over the counter with his chin resting in the palm of his hand, an amused grin bringing you to clench your jaw. “well..”

“and she didn’t even tell her parents,” seungkwan whispered, as if the three of you were in a gossip session. he smirked to you, knowing fully well that you would have lunged for him if sehun wasn’t in the room. 

“i’m sure they’ll be excited to see you visiting them. indefinitely.” sehun, of course, was oblivious to seungkwan’s antics. he kept his back turned on him as he focused on you, waiting almost too patiently for you to explain your motives. 

just before you could mutter a ‘thank you’ to him, seungkwan cut you off once again, “by the way, when you say indefinitely, what exactly do you mean?”

in that moment, you crafted a plot in your mind to jump over the counter the minute sehun would close the door behind him. seungkwan had always known of your interest in sehun, so.. you could give him the benefit of the doubt and excuse his actions by saying he had good intentions. but there was something deep inside you nagging and arguing that he was only trying to embarrass you.

“well..” you muttered, prompting seungkwan to lean in comically close over the counter. unfortunately, whether you liked it or not, you came to the realization that your close friends and family would eventually find out the truth.. so it was better to bite the bullet. “forever?”

“forever??” seungkwan asked incredulously. 

in that moment you had completely abandoned all intentions of giving your best friend the benefit of the doubt and instead wondered if seungkwan truly would stop at nothing to humiliate you. the look of intrigue donned by sehun almost caused your heart to stop beating in your chest completely. “forever,” you repeated quietly.

and although sehun showed no signs of disgust or disapproval, you wondered what he truly thought of you. he must have thought so lowly of you, unemployed and forced to move back in with your parents with no prospects or plans of any sort... as much as you would have liked to tell yourself you were most likely overthinking the tension rising between the three of you, it was part of your nature to assume the worst.

sehun’s expression of intrigue was quickly replaced by one of reserved shock; he wasn’t sure how to respond. he wanted to handle the situation (if one could even call it a ‘situation’) with delicacy without seeming like he was tiptoeing around it. it was quite the contrast from seungkwan’s reaction; your best friend looked like he would soon pass out due to the color draining from his face. seungkwan, who was visible just behind sehun’s shoulder, slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his gasp. 

of course. he always had a flair for the dramatics.

sehun cleared his throat, as if to defuse the tension in the space between the three of you. the air had felt much more constricting until he snapped you out of your shame induced gaze. “thanks again, seungkwan. same time tomorrow?”

“maybe a few more minutes before closing.” seungkwan was quick to smile enthusiastically, with authenticity rather than cruel irony, towards the other man. he even went so far as to punctuate his statement with an amused chuckle. 

“right, sorry,” sehun nodded apologetically. he knew he had a bad habit of bothering seungkwan, who was generous enough to help him even in the most inconvenient times, but there was no use trying to adjust his schedule to his own liking. he looked to you just as he turned towards the exit, a smile barely reaching his eyes. “see you around.” 

somehow, you weren’t hyperfocused on the fact that he seemed to disappear before you could gift him a proper goodbye. once the loud bell signaled his absence, you reached across the front counter to swat at seungkwan’s shoulder. a high pitched shriek flew from his lips, but it didn’t startle you enough to back away from him. “what was that for?” he demanded with a pout.

“you know damn well! he probably thinks i’m some deadbeat now.” 

“why, because you got fired?” seungkwan regretted his teasing remark the second he saw you wind back your hand to swat his untouched shoulder, his hands flying to shield his face. “wait! wait, stop! truce! truce!” the sigh of relief he let out once you finally relented was almost comedic. “you didn’t get fired, did you?”

you folded your arms across the countertop with a huff, avoiding his eyes. although sehun’s opinion meant a lot to you, it was nothing compared to how seungkwan perceived you. you grew up with him, after all. “no. i quit.”

“why?”

“does it matter?” those three words came out in a much harsher, more defensive tone than you had anticipated. it was too late to apologize by the time you had processed the gravity of your words, or the effect they had on your best friend.

seungkwan matched your energy, his eyebrows raised as his tone grew just a tad harsher, as well. “well… yeah? you’re throwing a lot away. you know it’s really hard to get a job these days. you were really lucky.”

you huffed. “please, seungkwan, spare me. i’ve already been preparing for that lecture from my parents.” 

“well, what do you want me to say instead?” he snapped, folding his arms across his chest. those words stung in your chest, as if the blade had been laced with venom. out of all of the people you expected to be this harsh with you, the last person on your list was boo seungkwan.

you furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up and letting your arms fall from the counter in favor of relaxing at your sides. “nothing.” you paused before mustering up the courage to speak again, swallowing. “it was great to see you.”

you took long strides towards the door, ignoring seungkwan’s protests even as his voice grew nearer. only when you felt his hand grip onto your forearm did you finally turn back to face him, a deadpan expression dulling your features. quite the contrast from his look of pleading, sorrow filling his eyes. always the flair for the dramatics. “don’t go. please?” he paused, searching for an answer within your irises. “if i know anything about your parents, they’re gonna be pissed. we need a game plan.”

“‘we?’” you asked him quietly.

“yeah. we’re in this together.” he hooked his arm around yours, his words and the tight grip on your upper arm prompting a rush of nostalgia to numb your mind for the time being. 

“but first, we need to grab some dinner.” your eyes lit up, accentuating your smirk as you heard seungkwan groan next to you in annoyance. 

—----------------

“i hardly see how grabbing sandwiches is going to help the situation.” even so, seungkwan dipped his grilled cheese in the flavorful tomato soup in front of him, letting out a content sigh once the taste of basil and sourdough lingered in his mouth. 

“comfort food always helps keep one level headed in stressful situations. i thought you knew that,” you took a large bite from your own sandwich, as if the exaggerated actions would punctuate your words. 

of course, seungkwan knew you brought up a great point; he didn’t raise that argument when the two of you grabbed brunch before taking finals or when he ordered takeout while both of you spent the entire night applying for jobs. after all, the two of you shared a similar love of food for as long as you could remember. 

“yeah, but doesn’t it just feel like we’re prolonging the inevitable?” seungkwan’s words were slightly muffled as he chewed politely on his sandwich.

unfortunately, he brought up a great point, as well. that was the whole reason you found yourself in his family’s library in the first place: to prolong the inevitable. you swallowed nervously as an image of the disappointment on your mother’s face flashed in your mind, dabbing at the corners of your lips with a napkin. “no. i’m starving. i haven’t eaten since noon.”

seungkwan let out an audible sigh, which inevitably earned him an eye roll. “sure, we’ll go with that excuse.”

furrowing your eyebrows, you straightened out your shoulders. “excuse me, have you seen how my mom is when she gets angry?”

“of course i have. i was there when you cut the bangs off of all of her porcelain dolls because ‘you wanted to see their eyes.’” he dropped his spoon to add air quotes to the last part of his statement, much to his own amusement.  

your eyes grew nearly twice their size as you watched the man in front of you take a sip of his iced water with such infuriating casualness. “not only were you there, but you helped me cut their hair!”

“what? you don’t expect her to raise her voice at her best friend’s child, do you?” he feigned an expression of innocence, his eyes going wide as he pursed his pouty lips.

you huffed, “no. only because she’s always held you up on a pedestal. i swear, it’s like she’s always wanted to switch children with your mother.”

seungkwan laughed, a little too loudly for your liking. not that his laughs weren’t always adorable and endearing, of course. it was his next statement, however, that caught you off guard: “don’t say that.”

of course, the shock didn’t stop you from taking another jab at him. “no, really. you’ve heard her talk about how badly she wanted a son multiple times.”

seungkwan began to laugh again as more and more memories started coming back to him. your mother had always greatly esteemed him, held him to the highest regards.. to say that he didn’t appreciate those sentiments would be a lie. especially since there were plenty of occasions he could think of where he desperately needed the praise. his only wish was that she extended them towards her own child. “i’m sure that she would change her mind if her wish was ever granted,” he rationalized, still not quite eliminating the laughs escaping his lips.

you snickered. “yeah. i’m sure she would.” both of you sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, savoring the last few remnants of your respective meals. you, however, couldn’t stand listening to the daunting sound of your own heart racing in your chest and spoke up, “how are things going with the library?”

seungkwan wasn’t expecting you to bring up such a delicate subject of his own at a time like this. he knew that you were already under a great deal of stress and didn’t want to add another burden onto your shoulders. that was why he spoke so dismissively, “things are…fine. pretty busy.”

“just busy?” after you had successfully folded your napkin into something that vaguely resembled a swan, you lifted your head up with every intention to meet his gaze. only to look directly past his shoulder and draw in a shaky breath. “shit..”

“what??” seungkwan instantly demanded an answer and furrowed his eyebrows, watching you pull the hood of your jacket over your head and hunch your shoulders over. 

“look behind you. don’t make it obvious.” seungkwan muttered to himself before turning around in his seat to get a better look at your mother and another close friend of hers sitting across the restaurant, making no effort to be discreet. you immediately hissed in annoyance, “goddammit, i said don’t make it obvious!”

“geez, sorry.” seungkwan snapped his head back towards you, tilting his head to the side as he saw you duck under the table. suddenly, his eyes lit up as he leaned down to get a better look at you crouched down on the floor. “hey.. now seems as good a time as any to go and talk to her!”

you gasped, “are you kidding me? she’ll cause a huge scene! we better just make a run for it. i was never one to dine and dash but i guess there’s a first time for everything.”

seungkwan rolled his eyes and got to his feet, reaching for your hand. “come on, i’ll be right there beside you. who knows, she might actually take it well? she wouldn’t want to risk embarrassing herself in public, would she?”

“no, but she wouldn’t care about embarrassing me in public.” you refused to take his hand in favor of wrapping both arms around the leg of the table. “now lemme know when it’s a good time to crawl out of here.”

seungkwan laughed, thoroughly amused by your antics. “no. come on, its time to face your fears.” he crouched down again, hooking both hands around your arm. 

“seungkwan, no-” you tried to keep your voice down while keeping a firm grip on the table’s wobbly leg. 

seungkwan clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, a scolding expression overtaking his features as he shook his head. “i can’t believe you would risk getting arrested to avoid having an adult conversation with your mom. absolutely shameful. come on.”

you shuddered out of his touch, pouting. “but i’m not ready! please, can we just wait an hour or so until they’re done..”

suddenly, seungkwan threw his head back with a loud groan of annoyance and prompted you to put a finger to your lips. “no. there’s no time like the present, come on!” despite your relentless hold on the table, your persistent arguing and whines of annoyance, seungkwan fell to his knees in an effort to successfully pull you out from under the table. he felt like he was wrangling a stubborn toddler. “jesus, you were worried about your mom making a scene?”

just then, a voice behind seungkwan’s figure called to you, “y/n?”

seungkwan looked back before scooting away from you to give you a clear view of your mother standing with her arms folded. when he got to his feet, you moved out of the way just enough for you to see her close friend in question standing next to her. the two older women stood like a pair of identical twins with their arms folded and their heads cocked to the right. you waved to the two of them, suddenly feeling much more vulnerable under the table. “heyyy mom..”

just as you looked up, you got the opportunity to witness seungkwan realize the gravity of the situation in real time. his lips pressed to a thin line as he looked off to the side, making no attempts to alleviate any suspicious appearances or keep up any innocent appearances. much to your surprise, your mother paid no attention to the man she considered her perfect son in another life. she scoffed incredulously, “come here! what are you doing here?”

you brushed off your dress pants as you slowly began to emerge from your hiding place. “i wanted to catch up with seungkwan before heading home..”

your mother wasted no time shaking her head and cutting you off, “you know what i mean.”

you looked to seungkwan with desperation in your eyes, as if asking him speechlessly to do the talking for you. he’d always had a much better way with words than you did, especially whenever your mother was concerned. she always seemed to hear him out. however.. he stayed silent. his eyes went wide once they met yours, as if trying to communicate back to you without words.

you knew right then and there that you were on your own. 

“it’s kind of a long story..”

—----------

needless to say, your mother did not take the news very well, seeing that you were now lying in the fetal position on seungkwan’s bed, tugging his small blankets closer towards your shivering figure. none of it felt.. real. your mother yelling at you and chastising you in public, seungkwan trying desperately to intervene until his efforts proved to be fruitless, the four of you getting removed from the restaurant.. but what seemed to remain frozen in your mind was the look on your mother’s face.

there was so much to be said from the look in her eyes alone, irises filled with.. hatred. the mere thought of it made you shudder. 

the image of seungkwan stepping out of his tiny bathroom in an oversized t-shirt and shorts was enough to pull you out of your miserable thoughts. for the most part. “glad to see you made yourself at home,” he teased you and made his way to the bed, grabbing a spare blanket and pillow. 

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him tuck the bedding under your arm. “hey. you’re not sleeping on the floor.” 

“you’re right. i’m sleeping on the couch,” seungkwan replied without skipping a beat. he ran a hand through his chestnut hair, which was already tousled from the headband he’d worn just minutes before he joined you. “goodnight.”

“wait-” you called to him just as he turned on his heel in favor of walking towards the door. then you watched in amusement as he let out a huff of mock annoyance and turn to face you with raised eyebrows. “please.. please stay with me. i don’t want to be alone right now.”

sleepovers weren’t a foreign concept to you and seungkwan. there were countless nights where study sessions, late night chats, and carpooling after parties led to impromptu sleepovers. it reached the point where both of you had extra toothbrushes and other toiletries waiting for the other. you never seemed to stay far from each other, even in slumber; usually the two of you ended up on the couch together. 

it was nothing. neither of you thought anything of it, because you didn’t have to. yet.. there was a sense of timidity within his demeanor as he stepped closer to the bed. you were quick to shrug it off and sit up once he climbed under the covers with you, relaxing back against the mattress when you felt his arm drape around your shoulders. the two of you were so close that you felt the gentle impact of the rising and falling of his chest with every steady breath he took. “what are you gonna do?”

you were close to telling seungkwan that you hadn’t thought this far ahead. you always thought you could depend on your family to help you out during tough times.. but you’d had your heart broken that day. fear settled comfortably within your heart as you laid a hand on his chest and scooted closer to him. “i don’t know.”

you were expecting a fiery rebuttal from him. or some more scolding, even reprimanding.. but none of it came. instead he spoke gently, his voice barely above a whisper, “we’ll figure it out in the morning. get some sleep.”

you nodded and let your head fall more comfortably against the pillow before shutting your eyes, his arm curled around your figure and his hand cupping your shoulder bringing that much needed sense of comfort. seungkwan, however, stared at the ceiling as you felt yourself drifting off into a peaceful slumber next to him. he connected the dots in the plaster while trying not to pay any mind to the water stain near the corner of the room, the patterns providing him temporary relief. 

he felt like he was dreaming; when you left, he wasn’t sure if the two of you were ever going to be in a situation like this again. laying together, laughing, forgetting about the rest of the world.. sure, in this particular moment the circumstances were less than ideal, but he was just grateful to feel your warmth. now more than ever.

a half an hour must have passed before he gently pulled his arm out from underneath your figure and allowed you to fall more cozily against the mattress. he sat quietly at his desk, which was less than two steps away from his bed, and opened the drawer slowly in hopes that you wouldn’t hear the gentle creak. there was a letter tucked securely into an envelope, one that he had read so many times that it was a miracle the seal of tape was still effective. 

no matter how many times he had already read the letter, the beautiful words still brought a single tear to his eye and a gentle smile to his lips. it was the last thing his mother had ever given him besides the library, both of which he held close to his heart. he read it almost every night before he went to bed, swearing that he heard her voice in his head every single time. 

on a separate sheet, she’d left him instructions and tips for running the library. he still couldn’t fully believe that the family business was completely in his hands now. he put his own career on hold to see it through, devoting his entire time to ensuring the success of the library. he had no other employees. he was forced to move into a much cheaper apartment across the street, saving money on transportation.

yes, some days were better than others. but he wouldn’t trade the business for anything else in the world.

now that you were here with him, seungkwan felt so many different emotions hitting him all at once. while he was grateful to finally see you again, there was a nagging feeling akin to resentment in the back of his mind. he only hoped that he wouldn’t let the troubling emotion take over him completely.

you were already a shoo-in for the internship agency near your school. judging by the end of your interview, you basically already had a guaranteed position. it was near school, it paid fairly well, you could still go to school part time.. you had nothing to worry about, having all of your prospects lined into a neat row.

seungkwan, however, was not quite so fortunate. school was challenging for him; when one crisis was ending, another was just beginning. one particular event was the breaking point for him. his finger had been hovering over his laptop’s mouse for a good five minutes as he gazed at the highlighted button on the screen: ‘submit request to withdraw.’ maybe school wasn’t for everyone. maybe school wasn’t for him.

his fingertip had inched closer towards the mouse when you finally reached his side, slumping down on the chair next to him. before you could complain about a strenuous day in your psychology class, you took note of the image displayed on his laptop screen and immediately slammed it shut. “what do you think you’re doing??” you demanded. 

“i can’t take this anymore,” he groaned, tilting his head back. the hood of his jacket fell back upon his shoulders in the process, revealing his tousled hair. “i’m done. i’m dropping out.”

“no you’re not,” you argued without skipping a beat.

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

seungkwan groaned again, covering his now strained eyes. he’d lost count of the hours he’d spent staring at the screen in front of him. “yes i am! it’s my only option. plus, if worse comes to worse, i’ll always have the library.”

your hand fell to rest on his back, silently communicating to him that you sympathized with him. you had had plenty of trials and tribulations during your time in school, seungkwan knew that fully well. “is this about your trig. test? seungkwan, no one passes that class. it’s not your fault you got stuck with the worst teacher.”

“it’s not just that.” he scooted his chair to the side so he could face you more fully. the look in his eyes was painfully unfamiliar; the closest resemblance being one that he’d worn a few times as a child. over some stupid, simple things that didn’t matter one bit anymore. this.. this was different. your best friend was scared to death about what lay ahead of him.

you took seungkwan’s hand in yours and squeezed it the moment you noticed his gentle tremble. “you’re one of the smartest people i know. if anyone can get through this, its you,” you told him quietly, with such gentle sincerity that warmed his heart. “i’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? i’ll always be here for you.”  

i’ll always be here for you. 

what seungkwan didn’t know was that you replayed that moment in your mind every night before you went to bed. he didn’t know you were currently reminiscing in your sleep. guilt and regret overtook you every single time you thought about the relief flooding his features upon hearing such a beautiful sentiment from you: i’ll always be here for you. 

what a phony he must think you are.

—---------------------------

the aroma of fresh coffee wafted through the air of his small apartment, strong enough to pull you out of your deep sleep. the promise of the refreshing beverage prompted you to sit up and stretch your arms out before joining your brand new roommate in the kitchen. seungkwan was already seated near the bar, halfway through his toast when he smiled at the sight of you, “morning, sleeping beauty.”

you let out a chuckle that resembled more of a scoff before taking the initiative and pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “i would have slept a lot better if someone didn’t hog all the blankets.”

“tsk tsk,” seungkwan shook his head while dabbing at the corners of his lips with a napkin. less than five seconds passed before he was on his feet, carrying his own mug in one hand and reaching for his briefcase with the other. “well, i’m off. do me a favor and clean the kitchen, will you?”

you furrowed your eyebrows while watching him search the tiny sitting room (which was more like a nook) for his dress shoes. “hey, wait! where are you going?”

he snickered, “where do you think? i’m going to work.” 

“can i come with you?”

seungkwan stared at you incredulously. “why would you want to do that?”

you cocked your head to the side, confused. wasn’t the answer perfectly obvious? “because if i spend nine hours cooped up in here by myself, i’ll go crazy. no offense.”

he brushed off your statement, grabbing his keys off the tiny hook near the front door. “what makes you think you won’t go crazy cooped up in the library for nine hours?”

you paused and shrugged your shoulders as a pleading look filled your eyes. “i’ll.. be with you? and books?” 

once again, seungkwan had to wrestle with all of the emotions hitting him at once- he’d enjoyed this time with you, yes, but.. a small part of him wanted space. he wanted time alone to sort through his conflicted feelings. no words could describe the guilt that sentiment, alone, had brought upon him. still, he let out an exaggerated huff and tilted his head back, “ughh fine. hurry and get ready.”

the squeal that escaped your lips nearly caused seungkwan to jump enough to spill his coffee. much to his own relief, the hot liquid never escaped from his cup and fled towards his sweater. it was a close call, however, when you threw your arms around his neck and pressed a firm kiss against his cheek. that time a few drops did spill on the floor, prompting the two of you to giggle in almost frightening unison before seungkwan made a dramatic show of pretending to rub the kiss off of his cheek. “ew-ew-ew-ew-”

“shut up,” you called out to him before shutting his bedroom door behind you. it didn’t take too long for you to find a sensible outfit, seeing that such boring outfits had taken over your entire wardrobe since you graduated. 

before too long, the two of you were greeted by the crisp autumn air as seungkwan locked his door. you both held onto your mugs, chasing the warmth of the coffee as you took prolonged sips in unison. in that moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if seungkwan shared the same sentiment as you, if he thought about how taking the familiar road to work felt so strangely different this time around.

“why don’t you hire some other employees?” you asked seungkwan once the two of you sat comfortably in the warmth of the quiet library.

“what, are you tired of your new job already?” seungkwan teased, tilting his head with that all too familiar lopsided grin. 

“job? who said anything about a job?” you fired back, all in good fun, of course. you had no issues helping seungkwan out with the business, if he would have you. you could only imagine how much of a nightmare it was to run a business completely alone. besides.. you hated the thought of sleeping at his apartment all day while he worked his ass off.

he nodded his head once, his grin only growing wider. “ohh, i see what’s going on here. shame, i expected more from you.”

“you’ll have to get in line,” you chuckled before averting your gaze back to the sticky note on the front desk in front of you. you’d been drawing tiny flowers on the little slip of paper for about an hour now, hoping to pass the time quickly. soon, you spoke up again without looking up from the lime green pad of paper, “you didn’t answer my question, though.”

you noticed seungkwan shrug in your peripheral vision. “can’t really afford it.”

he watched as you nodded in understanding, eyes still not leaving the sticky note in front of you. “well.. you could always ask for volunteers. there’s a lot of different ways to get the word out.”

seungkwan chuckled dismissively, “i doubt anyone’s gonna want to volunteer at the local library.” he spun in his chair slowly to gaze at one side of the open space in front of him and then the other. the first day he had ever worked there by himself he realized that he had to come to terms with the harsh reality that no one would value this place quite like he did. 

you caught onto it, however, and it broke your heart to put yourself in his shoes. he’d barely jump started his own career before this was thrown onto his lap; to say it was a lot of pressure was the understatement of the year. “you never know,” you countered in a hushed tone. 

several minutes passed before the loud bell startled you out of your boredom. just before you could lecture seungkwan about investing in a battery operated one, sehun stood on the other side of the desk. your focus shifted completely to the man standing in front of you, both of you separated only by the smooth oak desk. 

“hey sehun,” a short greeting you were barely able to muster as you rose to your feet.  

sehun, of course, stayed cordial, his grin just notably wider than the last he’d greeted you with. “hey. i didn’t realize you’d be working here too.” 

“oh.. yeah. seungkwan and i go way back, i thought i could help him out a bit.” you tilted your head towards the other man in question, who was still seated comfortably in the chestnut leather chair. strange.. he was usually so quick to attend to his customers’ needs.

“why don’t you help sehun grab his books? get some practice in?” you didn’t have to look over at seungkwan to know that insufferable smirk had taken over his lips. 

“uh.. yeah, sure. i can do my best.” the promise of getting some alone time with your former ‘campus crush’ was almost enough to make you giggle like you were in college all over again. you were quick to abandon seungkwan in favor of joining the taller man as he strode towards the aisle directly across from where your friend was sitting. “so..classic literature, huh?”

sehun chuckled fondly at your attempt to make conversation, prompting that warming sensation in your chest to return. “yeah. i don’t know if seungkwan told you, but i’m teaching ‘reading comprehension’ on campus. the library over there seems to have lost most of its funding since we graduated. he’s helped out a lot.”

you nodded and began to pull the books off the shelves that he pointed to with his free hand. “‘reading comprehension?’ i loved that class.”

“oh you did? it was one of my favorites. with mrs-”

“sylvester,” you finished politely.

“sylvester, yeah,” sehun chuckled again, and it was the most that you’d ever seen him smile. although it was somewhat short lived, it didn’t disappear completely from view. “she transferred a few years back. that was when i got the promotion.”

“oh.” an expression of disappointment clouded your features as he led you into the next aisle. you tried not to think about how you wished you’d brought one of those carts, considering it was completely off topic.. “that’s too bad. i don’t think i’ve ever had a teacher like her.”

sehun sighed, tucking a small pile of books under his other arm. “i don’t think anyone has. she left some pretty big boots to fill.”

“i’m sure you’re more than capable,” you assured him with a tilt of your head. “you were the one with the best assignments in ‘creative writing.’”

sehun donned an expression mixed with shock and confusion. for a moment you wondered if it was because he had no memory of sharing a creative writing class with you. had you really managed to stay so invisible? his gaze left you on the edge of your seat until he finally spoke, his words throwing you through another loop, “i.. didn’t think anyone remembered those. in fact, i hoped no one did.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, showcasing your genuine confusion. “why? your writing was so beautiful.”

he let out a short chuckle in favor of accepting your compliment. “i prefer to leave it to the professionals.” so he was handsome and he was humble.. good to know. his next statement pulled you out of your temporary daze, “speaking of which-” his gaze briefly shifted to the stack of books in both hands. “i better get back to it.”

“oh, yeah. yeah. sure.” however, you couldn’t bring yourself to face seungkwan without taking a step in a much bolder direction. “maybe we could talk about them sometime.” your heart skipped a beat as you watched him turn back to get a proper look at you once more. “i mean..the professionals. we could grab coffee sometime, talk about our favorites.”

he stayed quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking carefully over your question. once again, he seemed intent on keeping you on the edge of your seat, on stopping your heart from beating in your chest. relief warmed your heart as a gentle, barely visible smile was sent in your direction. “yeah. i’d like that a lot.”

even though the words were on the tip of your tongue, you couldn’t bring yourself to mutter a confirmation or any other proper response. planning the logistics or even a proper meeting time and place would have been a good start. even so, bashful silence filled the air and sehun was graced with an equally awkward grin before the two of you met with seungkwan again to carry out the rest of the checking process.

the crisp autumn air did nothing to soothe your shaking hands and arms as you and sehun carried the borrowed books to his car. he kept a respectful distance the entirety of the short walk to the end of the parking lot, not enough to keep you wondering if he found your presence to be a nuisance, of course. you earned yourself a smile of gratitude once the entirety of his collection was placed carefully in his backseat, his words doing nothing to soothe the aching in your heart: “so, about that coffee…”

“i should be done around five,” you cut him off, regretting it immediately. suddenly, one of your mother’s habitual lectures had once again proved fruitless and you realized just how pathetically eager you must have sounded. 

much to your relief, sehun nodded to signal his confirmation. “five sounds great. i’ll just meet you over there, yeah?” your gaze followed his hand as he pointed to the coffee shop that was no more than a ten minute walk from your current location.

luckily, you were able to hold back a sigh of relief. “yeah.” you paused, taking the opportunity to mirror his smile as your hands linked together behind your back. “well..see you then.”

after you were sent on your way with a quiet ‘goodbye,’ you were lucky not to trip over your own feet as you turned on your heel. to tell the truth, you only felt like you had come back down to earth once you were face to face with seungkwan in the warmth of the library again. his smirk was infuriating, as per usual, as he confirmed that he’d listened to your entire exchange, “big date tonight, huh?”

scolding him was a redundant move. instead, you followed his remark with a smirk of your own, arms folding across your chest while you eagerly awaited for the storm to come. “yeah.. about that, i’m gonna need to head out early.”

—-----------------------------

there was nothing quite like the cafe you knew like the back of your head in the evening. just as the sun began to set, the limited light peeked through the windows, crafting with the low fi hip hop in the speakers to create the perfect ambience. there was a sense of comfort in the familiarity, which counted for everything in this moment, especially. 

although the shaking in your hands had come to a timid stop, there was still an uncomfortable persistent thumping in your heart. if y/n from years ago could only see you now.. as inexperienced as you had become over the last four years, it didn’t stop a fair pang of excitement from mixing with your overall anxiety. you were on a date.. well, if that was the right word to describe this meeting with sehun. 

the man in question pulled you out of your daze once he sat across from you, taking in the sight of you with a relaxed grin. “sorry, i know i’m a bit late.”

“no, it’s fine. i barely even noticed,” you replied truthfully. “i’m in my own little word over here, i was barely keeping track of time.”

“well, that makes me feel a little bit better,” a deep chuckle punctuated his gentle words before he turned his attention towards the small menu in front of him. you did the same, even if it was a bit of a formality; you had known fully well what you were going to order before setting foot in the cafe. it simply kept you busy while trying to formulate a good response. 

once the orders had been placed, your arms were folded over the small table as you paid full attention to the man in front of you. “so..should we start with poetry?”

“actually,” sehun responded without a sense of urgency to interrupt you in his tone. it was quite the contrast from what you had grown accustomed to. “i thought i might get to know you first, if that’s alright.”

you raised an eyebrow, his statement catching you off guard. “oh?”

“is that so surprising?” sehun noticed the surprise that had filled your demeanor and honestly, it made him feel guilty. maybe he had unintentionally sent you messages signaling his disinterest during your time together in college.

“yeah- i mean-” you stuttered, pondering your own response carefully in the meantime. “well, i think we both just had a lot on our mind back then.” 

he nodded in understanding. “you’re probably right. but i don’t want you to think i was ever uninterested.” he paused just as a barista briefly interrupted the two of you to place two mugs on the table, being quick to send a quiet ‘thank you’ in his direction. 

you thought about telling him the truth, that the fear of his disinterest in you kept you up at night. that your social anxiety prevented you from getting to know anyone or spending time outside of your social circle. but what good would complaining do? instead, you nodded shortly. “then in that case.. i’d like to get to know you, too.”

you watched as sehun took the brief moment before his lips reached the mug in front of him to send you a smile. seconds later, he was delicately wiping a light stripe of foam that had landed above his upper lip. “can i start by asking you something a little personal?”

“go right ahead. i’m an open book.”

he set his porcelain mug down carefully on the table, the impact making no sound. “what brings you back in town?”

once again, his question had brought you into a deep sense of pondering. although you hardly expected him to take the same direction as your mother and tell you how much of a lazy couch potato you were, there was still a possibility he would find your actions distasteful. “things.. weren’t working out there,” was all you could lead with. “i wasn’t happy.”

sehun wasn’t sure if asking you to delve into specifics was the best idea. “i’m sorry to hear that,” he said, the sympathy in his tone practically tangible. 

“that’s okay.” as always, you were quick to dismiss your own attitude; you were never the self-pitying type. 

“i’m glad that you were able to reconnect with seungkwan after so long,” he noticed. “you two have been thick as thieves for as long as i can remember.”

to tell the truth, you were surprised that sehun had even noticed. on the other hand, the two of you never seemed to let each other out of your sight for long. “i owe seungkwan a lot,” you sighed. “he’ll try to deny it but i don’t know if i would have been able to get through school without him.”

sehun beamed, his understanding of the sentimentality in your statement alone bringing a warm feeling to his chest. “you two are lucky to have each other.”

suddenly, you felt guilty discussing another man in such a manner while on a date (if it even was a date). you chimed in with a bashful grin, eager to change the subject, “tell me more about your job.”

sehun chuckled, “what do you want to know?”

“was mrs. sylvester the only reason you started teaching?” while eagerly awaiting a response, you savored the wonderfully bitter taste of your now slightly chilled latte.

sehun shook his head, gaze temporarily flicking to the modest silverware resting on his napkin. “no. everyone around me got tired of hearing me talking incessantly about my favorite scribes and poets, so i thought it would be better to lecture people who would actually listen to me. for the most part.” 

an amused beam lit up your features as you chuckled affectionately. “do you teach anything else besides ‘reading comprehension?’”

he gently shook his head, “as of right now, no. but i’m aiming to take over the literature and mythology position once it’s cleared up.”

“then i’ll keep my fingers crossed,” you told him, your beam ever persistent. 

“i appreciate it,” he looked up to see you already staring at him with reservation in your features. suddenly, he came to the realization that he had never realized how vibrant your eyes were up close. maybe he should have paid more attention in the past. he spoke up again before he could allow any awkward silence to loom over your table, “i’m keeping my fingers crossed for you as well. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

just as you nodded in gratitude, you came to the realization that you had no idea what you were looking for. you came back home with desperation to get time for yourself, hope that you would find comfort in the nostalgia your hometown provided.. but you never thought about how slowly the answers to your questions would reveal themselves. “i hope so too,” was all you could think of to say.

much to your surprise, sehun was easy to make conversation with. he was respectful and quiet, not to mention attentive as he listened to you drone on and on about your favorite writings. you thoroughly enjoyed the banter you shared with him, as if the two of you were playing tennis with witty remark after witty remark. 

you had to take note of how incredibly smart he was. he was well read in every sense of the word, judging by the countless subjects of literature he’d studied in his youth. it was impressive. not to mention attractive. 

both of you reached the bottom of your mugs at the same time, and before too long, sehun had already paid the bill. he ignored your protests, your arguments that you should have been the one to pay since the outing was your idea. and of course, he politely insisted on driving you back to seungkwan’s apartment even if it was within walking distance. 

the moment you sat in his passenger seat, your gaze shifted to his hands circled gently around the steering wheel. the sleeves of his sweater had been rolled up to his elbows, exposing his lean forearms. however it was nothing compared to his side profile, the dimmed sunset lighting accentuating the sharpness of his jawline. “i’m glad we did this,” you were able to tell him. 

he nodded once, “me too. hope i didn’t take you away from seungkwan for too long.”

“he’ll be fine. he’s managed without me long enough,” you chuckled once he parked the car in the complex’s lot. before you could bring yourself to exit his car, to rid yourself of the man’s warm presence, you gifted him with a smile of gratitude. “i’m glad we did this.”

“me too,” sehun agreed, returning the grin with sincerity. “will you be at the library again tomorrow?”

“most likely,” you chuckled.

“perfect.” he watched as you stepped out of his car, ignoring the cold air hitting his skin once more. he called to you one last time before you could gently slam the door shut, “see you tomorrow.”  

you called out to him in farewell just as the impact of the car door closing sounded. the butterflies took flight in your stomach just as you watched him drive off, permitting yourself one last look at him through the slightly tinted window. none of it felt real. you knew that for the foreseeable future, you were about to ask yourself over and over again if these memories were just a figment of your imagination. the way he looked much more handsome up close, the way you were able to study his freckles and the gentle curls in his hair..

a wind rushing past your figure snapped you out of your daydreams; soon you were walking up the rickety staircase and back into seungkwan’s apartment. he was waiting in the sitting room, peering down at the coffee table which was covered in heavy files and scattered sheets of paper. he looked up to you through thin-framed glasses, raising his eyebrows, “took you long enough to get back home.”

your brows pulled together instinctively as you tossed your jacket onto the nearest coat hook. “what are you talking about? i wasn’t even gone for that long.”

“you were gone long enough to force me to close the library all by myself,” he argued without a hint of malice in his tone. “what did the two of you get up to, anyways?”

“coffee,” you sighed, slumping down next to him on the loveseat. suddenly, seungkwan paid absolutely no mind to the endless paperwork he had been tasked with and turned towards you. you went on, “we talked for a few hours.”

he tilted his head towards you with wide, questioning eyes, “aaand?”

“aand-” you mocked, snickering. “he’s.. excellent. really excellent.”

seungkwan stared at you in bewilderment as a snicker of his own escaped his lips. “‘really excellent?’ that’s the best you can do?”

you rolled your eyes, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “i mean- i don’t know! he’s really smart. most of the time we were talking about the books and authors we both liked.” you paused, pondering your next response. “there’s something about him that is so..magnetizing. he’s so reserved..i always thought he was indifferent. but he’s not.”

“he sounds like a pretty great person,” seungkwan bowed his head in favor of taking another proper look at the piling documents in front of him. even if he knew there was absolutely no way he would focus properly on them with you seated next to him. his gaze didn’t leave a particular folder as he asked, “so it’s off to bed for you, then?”

you pressed a hand to your heart, feigning offense. “you would dismiss me so quickly?” after seungkwan merely hummed in response, you sighed, “no, actually. i probably shouldn’t have drank coffee this late.”

“if only someone had cautioned you against it,” seungkwan mused half-heartedly, flipping through a stack of papers after going through a few paragraphs with a highlighter. it was amazing just how quickly boredom set in after watching him flip through them for less than a minute.

“you could have,” you snickered and leaned your head against the back of the couch, staring at the patterns in the ceiling for the brief time in the uncomfortable position. “we should go on a walk. i think you could use some fresh air.”

an amused smirk tugged at your lips as you watched seungkwan let the papers fall on his lap in favor of staring at you incredulously. “what? no, it’s freezing out there.”

“it’s not that bad, we’ll only be out there for a second.” after grabbing the papers from his lap and slamming the pile back on the coffee table, you rose to your feet. “come on! i know what it’s like working indoors all the time. you need to go outside; it’s good for your health. and your psyche.”

seungkwan huffed, swatting your hand away when you tried to link arms with him. “you know what’s also good for my psyche? paying rent for two different buildings on time.”

ever persistent, you reached for his hand again. “these papers will all still be here when we get back. come on. take some time for yourself.”

he was finding it more difficult to resist your pleadings by the second, especially considering you brought up excellent points. he rarely got the chance to take time for himself.. he rarely got to enjoy his surroundings and reconnect with the town he grew up in. he sighed, rather heavily at that, bringing his palm to his forehead. “ughhhh fine. if i get frostbite, i’m killing you.”

“it’s definitely not cold enough for that.” you grabbed both of his hands to pull him off of the couch, beaming once the two of you were face to face. then you gently reached out to grab his glasses off, folding them before setting them down carefully on the table. your fingertips never came in contact with the lenses; you knew completely well how much seungkwan hated scuffs and marks on his glasses. “when did you become such a hermit?”

seungkwan’s gaze followed your hands as they fell to the coffee table just before he met your eyes again. he chuckled lowly, “a lot has changed since you left.”

you shook your head. “it doesn’t seem like it. you’re still just as annoying as you were the day i left.”

“takes one to know one.” much to your annoyance, seungkwan promptly moved his hand up to ruffle your hair, his nose scrunching up in an infuriatingly endearing way. he took note of your scowl, snickering loudly in amusement as he quickly turned on his heel before you could swat his shoulder, “come along then! you were the one who was begging to go on a walk.”  

you followed after him with a huff, both of you slipping into your large coats and boots in alarming unison. before too long, you were asking yourself how it was possible for the weather to drop so significantly and so quickly. regardless, the two of you walked down the street shoulder to shoulder, each heavy breath you took visible in a cloud of smoke.

seungkwan glanced at you in his peripheral vision once you’d linked arms with him, snickering, “is this what you wanted?”

“yes,” you replied curtly. you tried to ignore the soreness in your back caused by the hunching of your shoulders. in your defense, cold weather ruined your posture. with your free hand, you tugged your jacket closer to your chest in desperation. it wasn’t even winter yet, why was it so freezing?

“okay,” seungkwan mused, unconvinced. he let out a quiet huff of his own before scooting closer to you and keeping both hands in his pockets. “where are you taking me, anyways?”

“don’t sound too enthusiastic,” you replied. unfortunately, you hadn’t thought this far ahead. while you scoped out the area in hopes of finding a place to relax and forget about the rest of the world, you completely forgot about the loose crack in the pavement and tripped over your own feet. your hold on seungkwan’s arms loosened as you fell forward a few steps, causing your best friend to burst into a fit of laughter.

“phew! that never gets old,” he cackled, throwing his head back as he moved a hand to clutch at his chest.

you were less than amused, stepping forward to grab his forearms in hopes of grounding yourself. “you’re the worst, seungkwan.”

“you know you love me.” it was a miracle that seunkgwan was able to get the words out, considering the laughs that persistently fell from his lips. it was a deep fit of laughter too, one that rumbled from his chest and had his shoulders hunched over as he tried in desperation to catch his breath.

“oh my god. was it really that funny?” you asked incredulously. your lips twitched in order to hold back an amused smile; it wasn’t the situation in and of itself that you found humorous, only seungkwan’s reaction. his endearing laugh and beam, the redness in his cheeks, the light in his eyes..

once he had composed himself enough to stand up straight, he let a few more faint chuckles escape from his lips as he wiped his eyes. “uh, man. i guess it's because i haven’t seen you do it in a long time. i forgot how stupid you looked.”

your eyes went wide as you linked arms with him again, scoffing. “how could you laugh at such a delicate subject for me?” you teased. “i still have the scars to prove it.

“besides, you have no room to talk. you’re the one who couldn’t make it halfway through the monkey bars.”

seungkwan stopped dead in his tracks, prompting you to do the same. you couldn’t hold back a loud snicker once you took in the deadpanned expression he wore, signaling that he took offense. “come on. that’s a completely different issue.”

your hold on his arm loosened once again as you burst into a loud fit of laughter, shaking your head. “no it isn’t! you looked like an idiot hanging there lifeless on the rails.”

as your laughter only grew louder, seungkwan did everything he could to keep a level head. He kept his chin up, taking a step forward with his eyes narrowed. “whatever. i’ve come a long way since then.”

“oh yeah?” you challenged him. “prove it.”

seungkwan stopped in his track once again in favor of turning towards you with furrowed eyebrows. “what are you talking about?”

you paused, scoping out your surroundings as you cupped your chin with your thumb and index finger. pretending to be deep in thought, of course. you spun in a slow circle until your eyes landed on the desired target: the nearest playground. it was completely empty, perfect for seungkwan to showcase his so called newfound talents. 

without answering, you grabbed onto seungkwan’s forearm and forced his hand out of his jacket pocket. once your fingers were laced with his, you booked it towards the playground in question. seungkwan stumbled a little bit but followed your lead, laughing in disbelief, “hey, would you slow down for a second? god-”

once the familiar, run down monkey bar stand came into view, you came to a sudden and full stop. seungkwan nearly tripped over his own feet again, much to your amusement, but you were quick to brush it off and fall to the ground in a cross-legged position. “go on,” you encouraged him, gesturing dramatically towards the stand with a malicious grin.

he cocked his head to the side as he studied you with an amused smirk. you only responded with a raised eyebrow, the two of you silently communicating, waiting for the other to crack. much to your relief, it was seungkwan who finally broke the silence with a loud groan of annoyance, “fine. whatever makes you feel better.”

you clapped your hands in excitement and watched him walk pitifully towards the monkey bars. he ignored your cheers of encouragement as he climbed up the small ladder and reached both hands out to grip on the first rail, falling forward instantly. but much to your surprise, he kept his grip firm. “seung-kwan, seung-kwan, seung-kwan,” you chanted rhythmically, clapping your hands between each loud cheer. 

it felt like he made it to the middle of the stand in the blink of an eye. he took a moment to glance over at you with a prideful smirk once he’d reached his former stopping point. “ha! see?” he called out to you.

“you haven’t finished anything yet, go on!” you ignored the crisp, chilling winds that grew more intense by the second, focusing all of your intention on seungkwan instead. you could still see the faint cloud of vapor escaping his lips with every breath he took and you had to hand it to him- the fact that he was able to do this with such determination and focus was impressive. “go on, you’re so so close!”

suddenly, you began to wonder if he’d started working out more consistently since the two of you parted ways. he only paused for a second or two between movements, save the long-ish break in the middle to gloat. he kept his knees bent the entire time too, so his feet wouldn’t touch the ground and assist him in his endeavors. towards the end he began to huff louder, unwilling to showcase his growing tiredness. 

you, however, never got tired of encouraging him. “you got this! just a little further…there you go…” just then, your loud cheer nearly startled seungkwan enough to let go of the bars to fall to the ground rather than swing his feet towards the other ladder. 

after making sure you were able to clearly witness him roll his eyes, he climbed down and plopped down on the ground next to you with a loud sigh. “satisfied?” he asked, letting his back fall against the long brown grass.

“more than satisfied.” you smirked in his direction before mirroring his lying position with a sigh of content. your hands laid comfortably on your stomach as the two of you stared up at the stars in comfortable silence. “i’ve missed this,” you muttered without thinking. 

seungkwan paused, contemplating the gravity of those three words. he didn’t know how to tell you that he never knew true loneliness until you left town. that there was a pang of resentment towards you because of it, one that couldn’t be so easily disposed of. even once the relief that came with the knowledge that you were there to stay set over him. “me too,” he whispered. “me too.”  

you smiled upon hearing his agreement, and the two of you lay in comfortable silence once again. you studied the sky for any familiar constellations, the stars shining like diamonds that night in particular. maybe it was something within the sentimentality of the night with seungkwan and sehun that brought so much more beauty to the sky above. or maybe.. it was because it had been forever since you took a moment to simply look up.

-

stay tuned for part two, coming soon >:)

[actual-goblinking]

I need to talk about the way NPMD broke a cardinal trope of musical theater and then subverted expectations and put the trope into play in another way.

For those not in the know, there’s a whole thing in musical theater about women with lower singing ranges (usually altos) being the characters that get shit on by the narrative/ end up being ‘bad’.

Examples include:

•eponine (Les Miserables)

•Mariah Reynolds (Hamilton)

•Anna of Cleeves in Six (I know she’s not shit on exactly, she got the best deal out of all the queens, but her entire ‘thing’ in history is being the ‘ugly’ one and she has the lowest range in the musical)

•Chris (Carrie the musical)

•I’m hesitant to include it, but Mrs. Lovett or Lucy from Sweeney Todd verses Johanna

I’m sure there’s more, but those are the ones I thought of at the moment. Also yes, this trope also extends to men in musical theater as well, if you were wondering.

Anyway, the musical flips the script by having the female alto character be the most holy, goody too shoes. In fact, in Nightmare time, they call her holier than thou. She’s the ‘good girl’, the innocent one. In a non contemporary musical, she would be our ingenue. But Grace has a beautiful alto voice that she lends to the soundtrack wonderfully.

But she ends up being one of the true villains of NPMD, killing Max, burying the body, stealing a cops gun and breaking several laws and eventually using the summoning book for evil. To defeat evil, she becomes evil, a path she seems to already have walked down by how ready she was to bury a goddamn body.

In fact, Steph also ends up being the inverse of this trope. She starts out the musical as the quintessential ‘bad girly’ in every sitcom. She smokes, she drinks, she curses. If she was in a 99’s sitcom she’d be a Full House very special episode. But she’s the mezzo soprano female lead, the one who we traditionally root for.

(Heather Macnamera, the Heather most audiences root for has the highest notes of the 3)

But then she comes back around and helps defeat Max, becomes our main protagonist and gets a happy ending.

[lostboiking30]

Some night time thoughts while I’m sick in bed with Covid.

I want to preface this by saying that I have been aware of Wicked since 2004 and was active in the fandom between 2005-2009. I never watched the musical live(I know what happens tho-thank you for the slime tutorials), I read the book in like 2006 and I listened to the obc obsessively. However, I did fall out of the fandom maybe around 2010 and Wicked became less centralized in my life as I got older. Before I saw the movie, I hadn’t listened to the soundtrack for about 5 years. So it’s been awhile, but needless to say, I *adored* the movie.

I’m gonna be talking about some stuff in act 2 so if you are only familiar with the film, there are 🩷✨SPOILERS✨💚 below.

I’ve been active in a lot of discourse over Glinda being a “villain” in Wicked over on Threads and a lot of people are big mad about this take. And a lot of what I am seeing is that

1) people are assuming that folks who take this stance have only seen part 1

2) defending Glinda because they see themselves as her

3) are assuming that people calling Glinda a villain are simply being reductive and not seeing the nuances in her character arc.

On a related note—I find interesting is that everyone seems to be in agreement about who the “Wicked” one is in “No One Mourns The Wicked”

Now back in the early aughts when I was a teenager, I was admittedly more focused on Elphaba and Glinda’s romance than I was either of their characters, but at the time, I hadn’t seen the play, so all I had to go off of was the book and the OBC and as much as I enjoyed the book, the musical seemed more my speed because of how whimsical it sounded, which was more in line with my hopeless romantic heart that just wanted Glinda to get on the broom with Elphaba and forget about everything and fly off to their happily ever after.

Well…fast forward 2 decades later. I’m 33 now and within the last two decades, one of those decades has been spent in therapy after realizing that I was trans masculine, neurodivergent, and traumatized not just by the shit that happened in my family, but by the near constant political and social disasters we have all collectively been a part of for the last 10 years. The decolonization, deconstruction and radicalization I’ve experienced truly changed the lens on this story and the impact it’s had on me.

Watching Glinda in the first part of the movie was fascinating and entertaining because of how smart her character is. Someone described her as Machiavellian and at first I thought maybe that was giving Glinda too much credit, but the more I think about it, the more I think I agree.

Ariana Grande understands Glinda and played her so well and I saw that the second she appeared on screen.

Glindas performative “goodness” has always been present but it felt more tangible to me watching this film…and it left a bad taste in my mouth (yay for great acting!) because I have known people like her.

On the other hand, Cynthia Erivo’s Elphaba felt so authentic that I couldn’t help but fall in love with her again. This Elphaba was soft, kind, loyal, empathetic, naive, and unwavering. And because I had just gotten into a big fight with a friend who had called me naive and emotional, well I couldn’t help but feel connected to her again.

When i referred to Glinda as a villain, one person replied “wait til act 2. Listen to ‘No Good Deed’ Elphaba wasn’t all good either” and I thought that was such an odd thing because Elphaba didn’t do things with the intent to harm. She was trying to save her friends. She is actively gaslighting herself in “No Good Deed” with all the things others have always said to her.

Elphaba later admits she’s limited and can’t do the things Glinda that Glinda could do, even though Elphaba is literally one of the most powerful witches in Oz. She wasn’t limited. Her ambition lied outside of herself and her desire to help the Animals. She was tired.

And after spending years doing social justice work, the number one thing I learned, especially during the pandemic, was that this isn’t work one can do alone. It’s a community based effort. Organizing is hard work.

Glinda, on the other hand, was self ambitious, and even though she was slowly beginning to unravel and figure things out, it took her losing almost everything she wanted (her freedom, Elphaba and Fiyero) to figure out she had to change. Similarly to the dance scene in act 1. If Morrible hadn’t given her the wand and told her what Elphaba said, I do not think she would have been as compelled to enter the dance floor.

So here’s the thing. I *LOVE* Glinda. But I hate her. She is so complex for all the wrong reasons, and I know that as someone who is marginalized in different ways, I cannot be friends with someone who aligns themselves as Glinda does. And it’s fucking heartbreaking.

That’s the whole point of Defying Gravity. Elphaba and Glinda cannot continue together past that point.

But they changed some things in the movie. Hearing what Morrible said about Elphie at the beginning of DG, accepting Morrible’s embrace and listening to Oz’ guards yell “kill her” should have been glaring warning signs. Yet Glinda still chose to side with them and uphold the wizards tyrannical regime. Not to mention that Glinda’s decision to help the wizard and Morrible led to the chain of events in act 2. Glinda’s not a good person, even if she felt remorse later on.

And don’t even get me started on Fiyero. Like I get why he became part of the guard but the whole working from within the system is fucked too. I also hated that they never told Glinda.

So yeah. This was a really long winded way of saying that I think movie wicked and stage wicked reflect different moments in time and movie wicked is more appropriate for today’s mainstream audiences. I think Elphaba being played by a Black Woman had a huge impact on how she was played and received. I love that Cynthia Erivo advocated to make her Elphie represent a woman of color and that she included inner child and ancestor work into the character.

Ariana Grande knows the in and outs of Glinda and plays her as authentically as possible. And knowing how much the actors love each other irl really solidified how much I believe Elphaba and Glinda love each other.

I spent way too long on this and it’s all over the place but I’m posting it.

Engage, discuss, and divulge in a respectful manner please. Wicked is very near and dear to my heart.

[blueridee]

jjk second years

author's note- i loveee the second years sm and there's not enough hcs about them so i had to add some lol

<3

Yuta

We know how much this man loves his friends, always asking if they've had their lunch or keeping up with their missions. So he's definitely the type to keep emergency snacks or water bottles on hand.

Unintentionally flirty due to his kind nature, but when called out, he turns red and starts rambling, “No, no! I didn’t mean it like that—I mean, not that you’re not—you are, but—ah!” Cue more teasing.

To ease his nerves, he tries different crafts or hobbies like crocheting or building model kits, but he's terrible at most of them. Surprisingly, baking actually worked out(?) and now everyone at the dorm gets cupcakes whenever he stress bakes lol. They're probably ridiculously over-decorated because he overthinks the designs.

I hc that he has insomnia or at least has trouble sleeping. So although it doesn't help much, he has a collection of different tea bags-green, chamomile, ginger, tulsi, lemon, anything you say, he has it.

About the unintentional flirt lol, toge made a joke on a gc once and now panda and maki love teasing Yuta about his "pretty boy" reputation, often telling strangers that Yuta is a famous model or something equally ridiculous.

Maki

Total gym rat. She’ll 'gently' scold the others if they don’t push themselves during workouts, "If you can’t finish this set, how do you expect to survive a curse attack?”

Has a secret stash of sweets she claims are "for energy". Some of Gojo's sweets randomly go missing, but no one suspects her lmao

Shows affection through roasts and training sessions, but she’s fiercely loyal and will stand up for her friends no matter what.

After the incident with her ass father, she might not show it but she'd be a little insecure about the burn marks. Not because of how they look but more so that they showed that he had managed to overpower her. So whenever she has those thoughts i can see her training extra hard, pushing herself on the field till she collapses. Yuta and toge got her some scar cream, there wasnt an explanation but the silent support made her treat herself a little more kindly

She’s surprisingly patient with toge and probably was the one that suggested that they should all try and learn basic sign to surprise him, she'll never admit to it though.

Toge

I mean we all know he's a total troll and a menace online, he definitely speaks in gen alpha slangs. Has spammed the gc with memes at 3 am so they all have it permanently on silent notifs now.

Has quite the... interesting music taste lol, ranging from lo-fi to heavy metal and loads of video game soundtracks. Everybody dreads it when toge gets the aux cord on long rides but they dont point it out. He knows about their suffering but he doesnt care, prolly even gets joy out it lmao.

Doesn't like signing unless he absolutely has to, like if he was talking to a stranger, that too most ppl dont know sign lang so he either texts them or writes it in his notes app. Plus he’s expressive enough to rely on context and vibes most of the time.

They had a sleepover during their 1st year and this shit decided to set the mario cart coin sound as the alarm. for 5 am. on a sunday. highest volume. and proceeded to sleep through it. Yuta and panda had to hold maki back from suffocating him with a pillow.

Panda

If someone’s upset, he’ll offer big bear hugs or sit quietly next to them until they’re ready to talk.

Comes out with random nuggets of wisdom at the strangest times, leaving everyone wondering how a cursed corpse got so philosophical.

Loves hosting movie nights and insists on popcorn fights during action scenes. Would insist on themed snacks for each movie (“Kung Fu Panda”? Dumplings!) lol ofc it's kung fu panda

The peacemaker between the group but also eggs on all off toge's or yuji's dumb ideas, “It’s for their character development.”

A shameless dancer- panda is always the first one to bust a move when music plays. He’s not particularly good, but his enthusiasm is infectious.

[the-fabled-void]

Headcanons I've written in my discord server over the span of ~10 months 

Warnings: Lust mentioned at the very end, will be under a cut, The last part of Horror's section is also under the cut for an implied ED, and emetophobia

Misc/AU instead of Sans related, multiple at once: 

All actual Sanses have the same birthday, but they celebrate their creation days as one too, if they know it most Sanses talk in sans-serif type fonts  Only Classic talks in Comic Sans  Dream, Nightmare, and Fresh don't talk in a sans serif font at all Error's* font is also different Outertale: When you're in a quiet spot, you can actually hear the stars twinkle (hc inspired by a part of my comfort MLP fan animation Snowdrop) AUs have cultural differences, and I'm not talking about stuff that's obvious like Underfell You know how some creators speak more than just english? What if it's because their underground is located under a mountain in a different part of the world Not only do AUs have different languages sometimes but also different accents

Classic

Classic doesn't have inside or outside clothes, he sleeps with the clothes he wears outside He'd love Weird Al's music Would absolutely wear crocs  Smells faintly like books and chemicals even if he hasn't been in a library or lab recently Do you think he washes that jacket if it's not stained? Absolutely not  Sci: smells like plastic wrapped books that have just been opened

Killer

is really good at pretending to be sober when drunk (In the more fanon bad sanses dynamic) forces the rest of the bad sanses do take stupid BuzzFeed quizzes Smells like handwritten books Stage 1/2 has a lot of quiet moments where he just analyses listens to Set It Off

Cross

listens to Nightcore music & Set It Off

hogs blankets

Cross, I love you...you use axe body spray

Absolutely illegal that people think Cross is taller than Dream, he's shorter

Any time Cross and Epic are in a room together, they're glued to each others side even if theyre currently arguing

Nightmare

has a high alcohol tolerance, you can't tell me those apples weren't rotten enough to be alcoholic would talk in the Money Penny font

Ink

The star sanses go to cafes and judge people's outfits jokingly, as if Ink with his toeless socks can judge anyone

Their  alcohol tolerance is highly dependand on what vials he drinks before 

sends either an insane amount of small voice notes or one really long one, no in between

They're strong enough to pick people up but it looks so funny because they're so short

Ink, as a parent, would be the exact opposite of those 'Beige moms' 

He refuses to deprive his kids of sensory input like that Would be fascinated by Killer's soul

They sneeze like a dad

Coffee has no effect on them

We all agree his vials are like mental illness medication right? 

Error: 

Can hear Undertale's soundtrack sometimes and it drives him wild 

*His font is partially comic sans, partially other sans serif fonts

Gets headaches very easily

Smells like comic books, especially those that smell more like printer ink

We already know Error's eyesight is shit, but it's especially horrible and close to nonexistent on his smaller eye

Geno 

Soul beats very unevenly

gets drunk really easily bc he's constantly bleeding, so there's less alcohol-free blood in his system for it to filter out (cough cough CPAU)

I feel like he would die from a sip of energy drink

Once he gets to the surface, he'll suffer from chronic headaches and other pains 

He would would drop his backstory exactly the way dads drop Dad Lore (if you know, you know) 

Geno looks like a coffee drinker but drinks tea

Smells like old books, specifically dry basement ones

Reaper

has haphephobia that stems from his death touch

At the same time, touch starved af

He drinks coffee despite having tea drinker vibes to people

Fell

Sometimes he just imagines random shit happening that would make him angry, and then gets angry over that

His summer outfit is the exact same but a sleeveless sweater under his jacket instead of a normal one

can only make 3 recipes and burns those sometimes too

giggles after getting kissed (he will deny this) 

Uses Old Spice deo 

Short king short king

has shoplifted before

Swap/Blue

gets hungry really fucking quickly

(I have a huge hc list specifically for him)

Dream

is a coffee drinker

He gives me the vibes of old people trying to use modern slang, but doing so incorrectly

sucks at modern technology

Once he finds out about emojis, it's over for everyone

is into astrology

the opposite of a Disney princess. Animals don't like him

Dream's insults hit harder than Nightmare's, he just knows what hurts you 

High alcohol tolerance

Ccino 

exhausted

has a Morning Special he makes himself before working at his cafe. It has way too much caffeine in it

One day Dream walked into his cafe, Ccino took a good look at him and gave him his Morning Special™

Only certain people can drink it though - this means both that only some tolerate it, but also that Ccino only gives it to some

Dust/Murder

Soul beats faster than others' souls

has absolutely horrible posture

jumps to conclusions easily 

Dust hated Swap as soon as he first met him 

I mean, Dust doesn't like himself much for he did, ESPECIALLY to his brother

So a Sans who acts kinda like a Papyrus? Nuh uh 

Is this the basis of Dustberry? 

Anyway

Smells like an old, slightly burnt book

Concept: Phantom Papyrus but he used to be a hallucination that turned into an actual ghost somehow -> Phantom and XChara can see each other

Horror

doesn't like horror movies much

he's seen enough shit

Likes chickens 

Hc for fanon horror: cooking for the bad sanses, at first didn't trust anyone else

Canon Horror probably can't cook very well 

Faint smell of damp books

TW ED, TW Lust

Horror has moments where he binge eats and then regrets it later

Lust

Is like the only Sans who enjoys warm weather

Infertile, compromises by being a cool ass babysitter

Loves flowers

A tea drinker

Transatlantic accent

Listens to Mitski 

When he's looking at something he likes/loves, his eye lights turn monster soul shaped instead of heart shaped

[jinxed-sinner]

It's so obvious when someone says Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss characters swear all the time that they haven't seen either show honestly.

Alastor rarely swears and only does under pressure, Charlie swears for emphasis, Angel swears more when he's upset, Husk and Adam swear casually, I don't think Niffty EVER swears, Vaggie occasionally swears in Spanish (and generally swears for emphasis like Charlie, although there are exceptions obviously), Lucifer seems more likely to swear when he's under pressure (although that's definitely not the only time he does), and Vox ans Val swear more when they're emotional (and outside of that, Val uses swearing for innuendo purposes from what I remember). And that's just Hazbin Hotel, that's not even talking about Helluva Boss.

Each character has a different way of swearing. It adds to the characters, even if people don't want to admit it and would rather shit on how much swearing there is in Vivziepop's shows. Yeah, there's a lot of swearing, but it's not one-size-fits-all swearing like so many people treat it. Less than half the songs on the season 1 soundtrack (7 out of 16 songs) are marked explicit on Spotify, and those songs also use the same swearing trends I mentioned above (Happy Day In Hell has swearing because Charlie uses fuck for emphasis, Hell Is Forever has swearing because Adam, Stayed Gone has swearing because Vox gets progressively more stressed which makes him more inclined to swear, Respectless has swearing because Velvette, Loser, Baby has swearing because Husk, You Didn't Know includes swearing because Adam and Lute PLUS the fact that Charlie also swears under pressure, and Finale uses fuck for emphasis).

(Side note, it's actually really interesting that there's not a whole lot of swearing in Stayed Gone. Vox swears a grand total of four or five times? And each time it's because he's stressed. Loser, Baby has the most swearing if anyone's wondering. It has double the swearing that Stayed Gone and You Didn't Know do)

Anyway it's really funny to me, as someone who has seen Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss including both Helluva Boss shorts, that there are people who are like "Vivziepop uses swearing without a punchline and it's bad because all her characters swear the same amount" because swearing DOESN'T need a punchline and not every character swears the same (see: the nearly 100 times Adam swears vs Alastor’s 6).

I could do an entire analysis on when and how Hazbin Hotel characters swear and what it says about them, as well as how it's utilized within the context of the show. It's actually really interesting and clever on the writing team's part (which obviously includes Viv).

[plague-karm]

Different takes I have based on my interests and other miscellaneous things because I’m bored.

•Bill Cipher is never getting redeemed, ever, I adore his character but I can admit when my faves are horrible people. Oh and the way some people write the Handyman Bill au makes me REALLY uncomfortable as an abuse survivor. Why do some people write it like it’s the Pines family’s responsibility for Bill’s actions? Thats so fucked, especially with Ford (the ones where they basically shit talk Bill the entire time he’s at the Mystery Shack is funny as fuck though more of that please)

•The “Jax is an NPC” theory is boring and it would make him a lot less compelling as a character if that was the case

•You can still love Danganronpa and admit that the fanservice (ESPECIALLY the stuff with Mikan) is gross

•DNI lists will inevitably attract the people in those lists to harass and piss off whoever the account is and that’s why I don’t use them

•The original Monster flavour tastes like condensed piss and I will never understand the people who drink it when every other flavour soloes it by comparison

•The second half of the Death Note anime isn’t bad at all people were just too busy huffing on L copium to care, also, Mello was one of the best characters in the entire show

•Most of Killstar’s collaborations are terrible, the Monster High collection is one of the most disappointing things I’ve ever seen and it all looks so uninspired and bland (they saved themselves a bit with the second Gloomy Bear collab they did but most of the designs for their collabs are really tacky).

•Hear me outs are becoming incredibly sterilised, there’s a big difference between a hear me out and a character you find attractive

•Also, humans (both real and fictional) along with any Hellaverse characters do not count as hear me outs (to me anyway I’m not the hear me out police)

•Ultrakill will be seen as one of the greatest games of all time once it’s fully released, it is an absolute masterclass in immersion and presentation and the soundtrack is one of the best I’ve ever heard

•I like the DHMIS show a bit more than the web series

•Resellers need to be called out more, I’ll probably make a separate post talking about this more but it gets BAD. Not all of them are bad (especially on Vinted) but the overcharging in certain fandoms is insane (especially with Sanrio stuff it’s actually disgusting)

•Lloromannic have the potential to be some of the most popular Sanrio characters of all time but their potential goes nowhere

•Prima is one of the most misused Vocaloids of all time and it HURTS. When she’s used properly she sounds GORGEOUS but most people use her for pop stuff and she sounds awful there. Shes an OPERALOID, she’s meant for OPERA. Stop misusing her (I also don’t like any of her designs I’m sorry-)

•SeeU is also very underrated, Alone is one of my favourite Vocaloid songs it’s really vibey

•Monster High G3 is very overhated. There are still some designs I don’t like (Iris’ design hurts me, the character with the same body type as me gets the weakest outfit fuck 💀) but its representation is really good (Twyla not being shamed for needing headphones in loud spaces made me so happy)

•ROTTMNT’s version of Donatello is some of the best autism rep I’ve ever seen, I’ve never identified with an autistic character more than I have with him and the fact that the show’s in limbo makes me really upset

•Robo Fizz’ design > normal Fizz’ design

•I don’t care how many songs you give Stolas I will always see Octavia as the victim in that situation and the fact that the crew see her as a “cock block” pisses me off

•Phosphophyllite will go down as one of the greatest protagonists in recent memory, their story is heartbreaking and no one in that manga deserved a happy ending more than them

•Vinted is the best reseller app and it’s not even close

•I don’t care if Art The Clown never gets a backstory, he’s a silly little guy who kills people in horrific ways and I’m fine with that

•Making it a rule to not talk about certain fandoms on big Discord servers is fucking useless, an old autism server I was on went to shit when this happened, just ignore them and move on

•The addictive nature of Character AI needs to be talked about more, I’ve only began to realise how bad it is recently, it’s negatively affected my writing abilities, do NOT download it (especially if you’re mentally ill) you WILL get addicted to it and it isn’t fun. I’ve deleted it and I’m going to try to get into better habits, never again

• William Afton is an evil bastard and that’s okay, he never needed any redeemable traits and I really like that they’re making him do some Saturday morning cartoon level shit while also making him a threat (The Golden Bite in Into The Pit is as funny as it is horrific)

•I don’t care how many times the Fnaf games will try and gaslight me into seeing the Pinkypills Afton design as him, I will ALWAYS picture Matthew Lillard when thinking of this character (also I never want to see any Pinkypills or Ladyfiszi art in the games ever again they’re terrible people and they should’ve gotten fired years ago)

•Rage bait is the key factor in what made the internet a significantly more miserable place, start saying pizza with random fruit on is good again stop with the racist and misogynistic bullshit

•CaseOh being one of the most popular streamers right now brings me joy, in a time where so many male streamers are some of the most miserable and out of touch cunts in existence, having one of the most popular ones be a seemingly normal and chill guy is so refreshing

•I respect Illumination as a studio a lot more than others would think, in an age where horror stories are coming out surrounding every animation studio in existence, I have yet to hear one about Illumination. Do I like their movies? Not really (some of them are kind of fun and the Sing movies are guilty pleasures) but they seem a lot more ethical than other studios (also they’ve openly mocked AI that’s fucking awesome lmao)

•Murder Drones needed more episodes/time to explore certain ideas, that final episode felt like a SEASON finale, not a SERIES finale (no complaints about Cyn though I adore her)

•The art style change to Soul Eater to Soul Eater Not! Will go down as one of the biggest downgrades in history

Anyway that’s it I’m tired I’ll make another one of these when I feel like it I wanna go to bed

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I just finished the first episode of Heartstopper, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.

The opening song is cool (will probably look up the shows soundtrack like I did with XO, Kitty).

Why did the camera focus so much on Charlie's bag & Elle's drink? Is it product placement?

Wow, no hate to the actor, but Charlie's eyebrows are THICK!!!!

Tori is beautiful but also kind of looks like a ghost (I think she’d be great for the role of  Violet Baudelaire from A Series Of Unfortunate Events) & why was she so pushy about the "dream guy" thing? Like let the poor boy breathe.

Is Nick's actor that much taller than Charlie's? I hadn't noticed.

I’m sorry, but knees are so weird to me lol. Also obligatory, 🎵 she's a runner she's a track star🎵.

Wait, is that PE teacher that will later interrupt the team theorising about Nick & Charlie's relationship? It's crazy how they’ve found actors who look so much like the characters in the graphic novels (other casting directors should take notes).

Ok fair enough about wanting your team to be good & wondering if the quiet, skinny, nerdy, boy is even into sports but the shit about him being gay is so stupid (bet it was Harry that said that).

Glad Charlie didn't get injured learning rugby, lol.

Nick's shorts seem a lot smaller than Charlie's ones do, but maybe that's the costume designer's way of helping Charlie’s actor look more skinny?

Omg Stephen Fry, what are you doing here lol?

Wow, people weren't kidding. Olivia Colman really did show up just to say one line. What a legend, lol.

Ben, did you really make Charlie walk all that way for such a lame ass kiss? Also, let him talk about his Christmas, you jerk!

I don't think that Form tutor is very good at his job (while Nick thankfully turned out to be nice) it’s usually not a great idea to put the skinny, gay, nerd that has already been bullied with the bigger, popular, seemingly straight, athlete, especially at an all boys school!

Ben, you dick. Like I get wanting to keep your relationship secret, but you did not need to pull the 'who the hell are you!' card. All you had to do was say hi in a confused/uninterested tone (then apologise later). If anything, your reaction came off more weird than what Charlie did.

I'm sorry, but I don't get the leaf animation. I mean, I GET it, just why leaves? Why not flowers or hearts or something? It just doesn’t seem that impactful to me, but maybe they have a deeper meaning that I'm just not grasping yet? If so, please let me know.

Ok, so I'm torn over the gay teacher. Like artistic? That's cool. Those glasses? Cute. Him giving Charlie a safe space to eat lunch? Great. Him being worried over Charlie potentially being bullied again? Awesome (take notes, Form guy), but his advice to Charlie seemed slightly lacking. Obviously, honesty & communication are important in relationships, but I'm a little surprised that possible safety concerns weren't addressed at all, especially from a fellow gay guy. Like I get that he doesn’t know the kind of guy Charlie's "dating" & that just because someone doesn't want to come out yet doesn’t mean they should be labelled as dangerous but internalised homophobia can make some people lash out & after everything Charlie's been through his clearly more likely to be vulnerable to situations like that.

Nick is a golden retriever in human form, they're 100% correct 😊.

Isaac? What happened to Aled? I hope he still shows up. He may be quiet, but he was so cute during Charlie's 15th birthday in the graphic novel.

Interesting to get to see Elle's time at Higg's (fuck that transphobic teacher & whoever was throwing sandwiches at her). Sad she doesn’t have any friends but I'm sure that'll change when she meets Tara & Darcy. Wow, is it strict over there, though, like you can't even be on your phone at lunchtime? Damn! Surprised they did it this way, though, as I was assuming they'd just make Truham co-ed so all the characters could be in the same place.

Tao, my guy, the drink thing is sweet but that hair is.....certainly.....a choice 😅.

The shots of Charlie looking at food, without eating, make me ☹️.

I gotta be honest, the montage of Nick & Charlie saying hi to each other was a little cringy to me compared to how it came across in the graphic novel, but they're meant to be teens, so I'll let it slide. It's also an effective way to highlight how differently Charlie's "boyfriend" treats him compared to an acquaintance.

Ben's hand covering up Nick's smiley face got me like ☹️/😠. They're not even together yet & I already felt like telling him to get off Charlie, like that boy is not for you! It’s ridiculous, lol.

Ben what you did was fucked up but it's hard to be scared of someone who looks so much like a meerkat in a wig (no hate to the actor) also did it seem like he just....skidded away when Nick pulled him off Charlie? Like, was the actor wearing Heelys lol? Or had someone just mopped the floor without telling anyone? Also, it's lame to wear a coat when you're cold? What in the toxic masculinity are you fucking on about Ben?

Omg the bathroom scene was so adorable, but I wanna know what kind of pen Nick was using because being covered in that amount of ink is crazy 😆.

Overall, it's very cute. I like Nick & Charlie. It’ll probably take a bit longer for me to really care about the other characters. Ben can catch these hands! And I’m looking forward to watching the Narlie relationship develop.

So while not overly ground breaking (though obviously important for LGBTQ+ rep) it's definitely enjoyable in a comforting sort of way which (considering medias fascination with marginalised suffering) is obviously important for queer youth but also must be quite healing for queer elders. Because you deserve wholesome, cheesy, romance just as much as anyone else.

[emptymasks]

the copyconductor 980 tx instructional audio tape

i finally have the copyconductor 980 tx instructional audio tape in my possession and here's my rundown of it and my favourite moments, basically me liveblogging listening to it for the first time. haven't seen anyone else talking about this tape so here i am.

i'm unsure if transcribing it or recording it would be in poor taste, but also it was limited edition and sold out and they're not going to restock so in a way you could call it lost media. i'm not sure if that would be alright to do.

for those not familiar, it's official stanley parable ultra deluxe merchandise sold by iam9bit, it was advertised and is presented as an instructional tape for the copy machine that's in the room outside stanley's office. what was actually on the tape was not stated, only that it included voice work from a few different people including the narrator's voice actor so since i love his voice so much and i collect cassettes i had to get one.

after listening note: it's basically a collection of different new snippets of dialogue, extra scenes, and new music. it's not one long new ending. a lot of side b is this long bit of the narrator doing one of those infomercial bits like in the game where he tells us how to tell a joke, but it's about what and why sequels exist and it's my favourite part of the tape.

this ramble got long so there's more under the 'read more' cut. but first here's my favourite quotes from the narrator:

"what about CGI knuckles?"

"i'm getting into D&D"

"what mistakes did the original stanley parable make? well to start off most of the pornography in the game was stolen or pirated and it's time we paid the licensing fees fair and square."

"we'll get to you yet, time dracula"

"if you purchase the stanley parable 2 you'll get this cow's egg"

"who gives a shit? all that matters is it's more content to cram down your insatiable gullet"

"it's only through this connection that we'll defeat time draucla once and for all. don't let the time vampire win, purchase the stanley parable 2"

and now the contents of the tape

started out as an actual instructional tape and i was just waiting for when it was going to shift and it did pretty quickly to the classic "all of his coworkers were gone, what could it mean?" the dialogue continued as normal with the sound effects of stanley moving until

"when stanley came to a set off two open doors" okay so far so normal- "he picked up one of the chairs lining the wall and through it with all of the force he could muster through the window" WAIT WHA. stanley walks around outside until coming across some sort of night club and the music gets louder until he enters and then we just get a full track of stanley parable dance music. it's similar to "Falling Funk" from the tspud soundtrack, but is not the same song, it's slower and i think has different instrumentation.

the narrator gives a watchmojo top 20 sound effects from the stanley parable ultra deluxe. i started hoping "8" would be on there since i cannot read the number 8 anymore without hearing "8" and i thought it would be perfect if it was number 8 on the list and it was. other sounds i recognised more than others: the baby from the baby game going into the fire was number 14, number 1 was "jim".

the music track that plays when you look at the cave painting in the museum in the game then played, (is on the tspud soundtrack as part of 'Ambiences') but faded into new slow, haunting vocals. the tape then cut back into the instruction copyconductor man.

when it cut away from him we get a new man "okay this is day number 295, tape number... i've lost track... nothing feels real anymore." the less sense anything makes. [...] the sheer euphoria i feel every time i pick it up, no matter how many time i've done it, the same feeling... and the emptiness in my chest" i started wondering if this man had a bucket of his own. "i still haven't figured out why i see the world so differently when this bucket is in my hands" yep. the bucket man continued to monologue, he start to think about monetising the bucket, charging people to spend time with the bucket, he worries people will steal his idea, steal the bucket, someone or something appears near him. the bucket man stops talking, stares, then says "Gambhorra’ta" which is what the cavemen chant in the previous song, and i'm wondering if this is the name of the god/creature that was mentioned on one of those tapes you could find in game? but it's been a long while since i last played. there's some creature in the room, making monster noises. the tape cuts out. the name appears on the tspud soundtrack "Gambhorra’ta, Treasurer of The Profaned Vault" though that is not the name of the cavemen chanting song.

the narrator gives us a limerick, a little rhyme over some acoustic guitar.

"and now a message from the bucket" [metal rustling noises]

the narrator returns "it's these kids again, always up and around, always talking about it. it's bloody game of thrones season 8 all over and and i'm just not..." he's rambling on about kids and crime and then out of no where "what about CGI Knuckles though?" and it caught me so off guard i had to stop the tape because i started laughing. he tries to keep rambling but he stops, defeated "no one cares, it's all mp3s and pokemon" i have no idea what he's rambling about, he's still complaining about kids, about theatre "i'm getting into d&d though, dungeons and dragons, can't stand those- [TAPE IS FULL. END OF MESSAGES]."

and onto side b we go.

back to the instructional man, how to load paper into the copy machine.

he cuts out to music, gentle guitar, bossa-nova-esque music. ITS A NEW MEMORY ZONE PIECE. i don't speak the language it's in, i know enough to recognise that unlike the french memory zone song from the game, this is in spanish or portuugese (i don't know enough about either language to confidentially say which one, but i recognise some words). the phrases "memory zone" and "stanley parable" are still in english.

narrator "here is a free steam key for the stanley parable ultra deluxe, however due to printing issues all copies of this tape will contain the same key. please confirm online in regards to who show redeem this" he then lists the key. i have no idea if it's real.

back to copyman, he's still telling us how to load paper.

narrator answer machine message "hello, unfortunately the person you called cannot come to the phone right now. please leave a message after the beep". 'thinking theme' from the tspud soundtrack then plays. then there's a beep.

the narrator tells us about night sharks, where it lives, the depth of the water it stays in, how long it is, etc. i googled night sharks to see if the information was accurate or if this was a gag, only to discover he's literally reading the wikipedia page word for word.

a new man "say there timmy, what's that? it's breakfast of course, but did you know breakfast is getting a sequel? that's right. lunch. [...] with a little luck, we may even get a trilogy series out of it. you know what a sequel is, don't you timmy? why, sequels are the worlds way of clinging helplessly onto the past. we all want more of the things we love and we're all afraid of change." in the style of old commercials, it's sounds like this could be the same voice actor as the narrator now doing an american accent.

"sequels are the bedrock of a healthy functional society, and if you look around you you'll find them everywhere you go." "here's the man who invented breathing, which is the sequel to suffocating and dying a slow death. even you're parents are getting a sequel timmy, their names are rod and jessica, as your real parents are getting sent back in time to fight in a secret war for the government." this goes on for a while about sequels, about the stanley parable getting a sequel.

"you're a man now timmy, which is a sequel to being a boy, and you need a man's game. the stanley parable 2 is the manliest game there is. let's look at the burley man who made the game. huh. his name is gregory eightpack and he's the cutting picture of raw masculinity"

"sequels allow us to correct mistakes. what mistakes did the original stanley parable make? well to start off most of the pornography in the game was stolen or pirated and it's time we paid the licensing fees fair and square. second, the stanley parable was catastrophic for a man named leroy, who had his information including home address, social security and bank address which were displayed prominently in multiple locations throughout the game. although leroy's money and identity were stolen, the fact remains his personal information was the emotional core of the game and absolutely vital to a nuance and understanding of the story. as reparation for the harm we caused him, the sequel will contain a brief and insincere apology to leroy tucked deep within the game where it will be difficult to find. finally, the stanley parable made the mistake of leaking too many government secrets about the nature of the time wars." "we'll get to you yet, time dracula."

omg this sequel bit goes on for so long but i love it. i cannot write it all down here, it goes on for so long omg.

the narrator thanks us for listening to the audio cassette. he say's we have a message from stanley's missing coworkers for us! ... there's nothing. there's no message from them... that's the end of the tape...

[kimbapisnotsushi]

oh please talk about kawanishi taichi i love that silly guy

OF COURSE ANON I TOO LOVE THAT SILLY GUY LET'S GET IT!!

(also i am SO sorry for taking so long oh my god i am back in action and catching up i promise!!)

i think he likes beanies in his casual wear

idk kawanishi feels like such a beanie person but not the douchebag slouchy ones he's got one that's a little snug and has something embroidered on it like a bird or something

okay that's a lie. he has ONE douchebag slouchy beanie that makes him look like how a high school romance shoujo mangaka of the mid-2000s would dress a flashy somewhat-delinquent teenage boy (honey lemon soda my beloved)

this, of course, could not be farther from the truth

the entire second year is scared of him bc they never somehow realize he's there until he says something and they're like "holy SHIT". this also means he knows a bunch of hot gossip

(the hot gossip miyagi group chat: kawanishi, watari, onagawa, and narita)

on the other hand. that means the students of 2-5 win the contest for "best cultural festival attraction" between classes bc they had the best haunted house the miyagi prefecture had ever seen

he's on really good terms with the school nurse because sometimes he sneaks into the infirmary to take naps during lunch or gym periods

knows how to lockpick BECAUSE he keeps trying to sneak into the infirmary. and occasionally the school roof for their "team bonding picnics" so that tendou doesn't have to keep swiping the key from the student council

i'm not just saying this bc i like enamel pins but i think kawanishi DOES like enamel pins. he's got a collection of these edgy sarcastic ones that he thinks are hilarious in a "started-ironically-and-now-i-can't-stop-pipeline" kind of way

he's got this whole tumblr-grunge-indie-hipster thing going on with his douchebag slouchy beanie and denim jacket with pins all over the collar and ripped jeans and converse sneakers and shirabu thinks he pulls it off unfairly well

i feel like kawanishi also really likes fantasy/sci-fi and is actually SUCH a huge secret nerd about it. and really likes cyberpunk and fantasyland settings you'd get from like idk snow white with the red hair or nivalis (i KNOW it's an indie game that's not even out yet but sue me i don't know cyberpunk all that well)

he and tsukki actually become friends while arguing about how much of akira is deep meaning and how much of it is actually just straight up bullshit because WHAT the fuck was that

also he's subscribed to a bunch of these small artists on youtube who make background music and fun art to go with them bc he can put together a great soundtrack for getting hw and studying done

likes getting lil gifts for shirabu, especially to add to his stationary collection. shirabu has sticky notes in the shape of whales and ice cream and paper lanterns and washi tape with fireworks and beach motifs and bakery stuff and it's all because of kawanishi

kawanishi just sticks to the plain solid-color square sticky notes that he uses to leave shirabu notes around his dorm. just small things, really, a reminder that this is a place shirabu belongs and it is a place he is loved. you're doing great. get some water soon. i'll bring you dinner, just text me. don't forget to sleep.

and shirabu will be hard pressed to admit it, but those might be his favorite sticky notes of all

[roykleinberg]

Oh now you have me curious about your spicy takes! 👀

hooooo boy okay, some of this is about the franchise and some of this is about the fandom (which I love with all my heart okay please no one throw rocks at me lol)

90% of program/user ships give me the ick

continuing on the shipping train of thought, I don't actually find the Encom trio (Alan/Lora/Flynn) all that compelling as an ot3. and a lot of it is a personal pet peeve I've come across in a number of fandoms, but honestly most m/m/f ot3s feel like they're just a way for people to focus on the m/m dynamic while patting themselves on the back for "including" the female character instead of sidelining her completely........ even though said female character is rarely if ever a major contributor to the dynamic or a focus of whatever fanwork. but on a less meta side eye note I just find the perceived sexual component of Alan and Flynn's relationship to be the least compelling thing they could've had going on

and I know she's barely brought up in canon outside of Betrayal but uhm Jordan exists??? and perhaps it is an unpopular opinion but I would like to see more of her in things instead of relying on Lora to be the only human woman in the Tron universe

once again I might not be so harsh on Uprising if there was more to it, but taking it for what it is and how much of it exists -- a lot of the episodes were boring filler to me. also I don't like how they drew Tron

actually I don't like how Tron has been drawn in any rendered/animated media with the exception of maybe Kingdom Hearts

I don't think of Rinzler as a standalone character, and he's not at all interesting to me when removed from the fact that he is Tron with the serial numbers filed off. I feel like I've increasingly seen people portraying Rinzler as his own thing and it simply does not work for me. I think the whole point of his character / existence is that he doesn't have thoughts or feelings or any real personality of his own. he's a backflipping blank slate whose only real character moments are when Tron's overwritten personality peeks through

to that end I can't conceive of an ending where Tron or anyone around him would allow him to remain as Rinzler, and I can't imagine that Rinzler's capable of forming an autonomous opinion to not want to be Tron again

the fandom collective spends too much time talking about how hot the live action and animated men are and not enough time talking about how hot the Sirens are. or how hot Yori is especially in the deleted love scene. or how hot Paige is. or

Daft Punk (rightfully) gets a lot of hype for the Legacy soundtrack, but Wendy Carlos's soundtrack for 82 is unfairly slept on. love that those funky robots got to cameo, but we should be giving Carlos just as much credit for her work

for as much as it pains me to say it, I don't think Tron ever would've been a tentpole franchise for Disney even if they had treated it better. and it's mostly because of the sad fact that the general public has never been that into Tron. I see it tossed around a lot that Disney ditched Tron in favor of focusing on Star Wars and Marvel. A New Hope -- an original sci fi movie that had absolutely no brand recognition, so to speak -- made over $400 million in 1977. the original Tron made $50 million in 82. the first Iron Man movie -- which sure had comic fan recognition but was still a very early comic blockbuster -- in 2008 made over $500 million. Legacy made just over $400 million in 2010. and Disney advertised the shit out of Legacy, they didn't set it up to fail. yes it sucks that things like Uprising were dealt a bad hand (a garbage release schedule that lead to poor viewership that definitely killed the show), yes it sucks that capitalism impacts what art gets made, but the fact of the matter is that Tron has always had niche appeal, and niche appeal does not a successful franchise make. and while it'd be nice to live in the universe where Tron blew up, I look at what's become of Star Wars and Marvel and maybe I don't lament it all that much

[olivyh]

Test Flight

A/N: Idk why I've been on a Mammon kick lately?? I feel bad bc my go-to is normally Beel but I struggle to write him ;;;;;;;

Tw: Talks of death, slight gore from the fall and transformation

It started out with a simple comment.

One offhanded mumble under their breath, followed by a dreamy sigh as they rested their cheek further into their palm, elbow propped up on the arm of the couch. With the noise of his brothers and the movie that was blaring on the speakers of his large, rather expensive television- a human movie- one would think he couldn't hear anything. One the human told him they grew up watching, about a boy and a dragon and how the two would soon change their small world forever with one small friendship.

Mammon had turned it down with a scoff, claiming that he had much cooler movies to watch than that weird human kid's movie (the truth is, he would watch anything they told him to, the heartstruck fool he was). He was actually enjoying it, the soundtrack was something he made a mental note to add to his playlist, and the small scenes were heartwarming.

To make it even better, he had stolen the seat right next to his human with very little fighting involved. Maybe it was pure luck, or his brothers finally understanding what was his (they, in fact, did not understand what was his still). But, he considered it fate that he could sit next to them and hear that small sigh, the way their eyes drifted into that dreamy haze of theirs.

"I wish I could fly," Barely a whisper, a soft breath against the cushion of the couch.

Mammon never thought too much about his abilities, aside from the fact that he was one of the lucky few of his brothers to keep the gift of flight after their fall. Sure, it was an easy way to get around and his wings did prove useful when it came to scoring more modeling gigs (though, he really hated when they draped all those fabrics over them. He swore they itched for days afterward and didn't sit right for at least a week).

To be human, to never know the freedom of the clouds, the frozen sting of the wind against your face? He couldn't imagine it.

He could barely sit still the rest of the movie, their comment playing on repeat in his mind as it spun and wove until, before he knew it, the credits were rolling and Lucifer was ushering everyone else to their rooms. He could try to convince the human to stay, however... he had other things to do. Sudden plans he told them (surely they'd assume he was going for a late-night run at the casino and would be none the wiser).

Mammon wanted to wait, he swore that he would find the right time, but he couldn't help himself. He blames his sin, berating it in his mind as he finds himself at their door late into the night. The wood groans as he shuffles his feet, the door in front of him much more imposing in the darkness of the candle-lit hallway than it seemed hours ago when he appeared to drag them to his room for the movie. He can't seem to stifle the way his shoulders jump as the door creaks open.

"Mmn... why are you here so late?" The human, his human, in their pajamas rubbing their eye with the back of their knuckle. He resisted the urge to fix their loose collar, but...

"Get dressed!" He hears them groan and can't bite back the grin that stretches across his face. "'less you wanna go outside lookin' like that," he can't help but wince internally at the sound of his own voice, at the tone of which that phrase was spat out harsher than he meant.

You're beautiful, he wanted to say, to suddenly correct himself, no matter what you're wearing.

"Why are we going outside?"

"Enough questions! C'mon!" he shoves them gently back inside their room, waiting outside and trying to ignore his heart hammering inside his chest. A part of him was anxious about the whole event- what if they hated it? Or if they thought he was creepy for taking that comment so seriously? They weren't... scared of heights, were they?

Shit, he should have waited. It's only been two hours since the movie ended- he could have planned this so much better. He taps his foot nervously, worrying his lip with his golden tooth as he fiddles with one of the rings on his hand, feeling the soothing curve of the metal against his heated skin.

"Mams?"

"Yep!" He tries to hide the way his voice came out as a high shriek, quickly casting a glance around the hallway to make sure Lucifer wasn't on one of his patrols. "I-I mean yeah, yep, let's go-" he places his hands on their shoulders, turning them to the stairs and pushing them forward, constantly moving his head to ensure that nobody was awake to see their escape. "C'mon! Hurry!"

"I'm going!" They whisper back, a quiet shout that makes him sigh as they jump down the stairs. Once on the landing, Mammon feels as though he can finally catch his breath. The air isn't too cold, which is a good thing, considering how cold it gets in the air. He shrugs off his leather jacket, handing it to them.

"Wear this-" He gulps as he watches them shrug it on, his stomach doing flips as he takes a breath and stretches, ridding himself of the magical veil that allows them to look human (or human enough, the demonic glint in their eye or the pointed ears never quite go away. They were lucky enough that humans started dying their hair and wearing colorful contacts in recent years, as most of them were unable to walk around inconspicuously. It was mainly Levi who fell victim to this, drawing attention whenever he made his way to the human world what with his bright purple hair).

The discomfort of the transformation was one that took him some time to get used to, so often that he felt uncomfortable shifting back into a demon (that, and the grim reminder of why the limbs on his back were an inky black rather than the pristine white he was so used to seeing). His skin shifted to make room for the extremities. The tugging at his skull as his horns curled and twisted out of the skin never failed to make him sigh as the pressure built within his head seemed to lessen completely. The wings broke free from his back with a flap of leather, the skin healing over as quickly as it tore as his normal clothes were replaced with the heavy leather he was a little too used to, the pressure from the belts on his chest a welcomed tension- a way to ground himself.

The only thing he couldn't get used to was the burning of the scars on his torso and arms- now a blinding white against his dark skin- as they crept to the surface and made themselves known.

The pressure that hold all his demonic features back lessened as he let out a short sigh, turning to the human.

"You said you wanted to fly, right?" He mumbles as heat creeps up his neck. "C'mon."

"...Seriously?" Mammon gulps, regretting the choices he'd made up to this point as he turns his sapphire gaze to the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets and huffing.

"Listen, it's not every day that you'll get a free ride outta me, got it?"

"Free ride?" Mammon feels his heart sink as his breath catches in his throat, leaving him a blushing, stuttering mess. Shit.

"Not like that! Ya damn pervert! Spendin' too much time with Asmo- I fuckin' swear he's influencing ya-" Their amused chuckle breaks him free of the thought (though, the sound never fails to send butterflies to the pit of his stomach, making him squirm in place).

"I meant like, are you serious? As in... that's a really kind thing for you to do, Mammoney," Oh heavens above, they were going to be the death of him. Biting his lip and swallowing back a giddy chuckle, he straightens his shoulders.

"W-well yeah! Duh," Mammon's voice dips low as he shuffles his feet, listening to the soft scraping of his boots against the stone. "So you uh, wanna go?"

"Of course! How..." They approach him, tilting their head. "Are we going to do this? I can't climb on your back, can I?"

"Nope!" The demon grins, scooping them up in his arms and chuckling at their surprised yelp. They smack his chest with their palms. "Oh, c'mon, that was funny."

"Warn me next time!"

"Next time I'm chargin' ya!" He does a few test flaps (more for show than anything, he could wake up from a sleep as deep as Belphie's and the next second be at Diavolo's castle). They grip a leather strap and pull it, making him freeze for a moment. "Is everythin' alright?"

"...Can you support both our weight?"

"...Are you kidding?" He scoffs. "I can carry Beel like this!" He supports their weight with one arm, dramatically throwing the other onto his forehead and tossing his head back. "You wound me!"

"Dork!" They laugh. "...Have you really carried Beel?"

"'Course," Mammon scoffs. "Ya think he can't get wasted like the rest of us? Just 'cause he's so massive doesn't mean a little demonus can knock him out." Out of the corner of his eye he can see the corners of their lips perk up.

"Ready?" He asks, grabbing them more firmly against his torso and hoping that they couldn't hear the thumping of his heart against his ribcage. They nod and he ducks down a bit, spreading his wings as wide as they could go and sending the two off with a quick start.

He thought maybe he had gotten ahead of himself, that the whipping of the wind as it bit at their faces and tore at their clothing wouldn't be something the human in his arms was used to, that they would need a slower start. He could hear their frightened yelp as their arms jump around his neck, holding themselves as close to him as possible. He quickly tightens his grip on them, rubbing his thumb into their hip until they're both at a height where he could safely soar. "You okay?"

The shaking of their shoulders and quick puffs of breath against the nape of his neck makes his heart jump to his throat as a pit opens in his stomach, making his grip on them even firmer as he ducks his head down to theirs. "We can always go back down, got it?"

Mammon feels the way they relax for a moment, finally tearing their face away from his neck to look around. Their shaking shoulders still as they adjust from the height. He could see the glittering of their eyes, the reflections from both the stars and the lights of the city below trapped within their wide, blown-out pupils.

"Wow..." They mutter breathlessly, relaxing their grip as they gaze below. "This is..."

"Yeah," He murmurs, looking out in the same direction they were. The view of the Devildom held so many memories for him- good and bad. From the moment they fell, the agonizing feeling of his feathers burning to a crisp and falling off in chunks, the holy golden jewelry that he'd always donned scalding his skin as he plummeted to the ground, grappling for whichever brother he could get a hold of (it was Levi, he remembered, how could he forget the man's blood-curdling screams as his wings were torn from his back?). From that moment, for thousands of years, he'd seen this same view. The city below, the glimmer of the stars reflecting off the lakes and rivers, the deep darkness of the forest, the imposing view of the castle standing proudly amogst the buildings scattered.

However, this time, he felt as though he was seeing it for the first time, though their eyes. The wind against his skin was a chill that cooled his heated face, the lights brighter than he remembered them being. Mammon was filled with a deep awe, a childlike innocence he wasn't sure he'd ever felt, even as an angel.

"Amzaing, huh?" He can't help the chuckle that bubbles within his chest, breathless as he stares down at them, face breaking out in a wide grin. "Wanna see something cool?"

"Please don't do anything stupid," He laughs at that, adjusting his grip to be tighter on his partner's waist.

Pouting, he looks down at them. "It's like ya don't even know me!" Taking a deep breath, he shoots up above the clouds, sending the chrystalline droplets scattering as they leave a trail behind them. Once he reaches a high point, he pauses, laughing.

"Mammoney!" The human gasps, shaking the droplets off their face. "Seriously?"

"Oh come on!" He beams. "We didn't even get to the fun part yet!" The man barely catches their surprised gasp as he suddenly stops the movement of his wings, opening them as wide as possible and sending them soaring, weaving in between the clouds and streaking through the night sky.

"Hold your arm out!" He shouts over the rushing of the wind around them.

"Hell no!"

"Just do it! Trust me!"

"I do trust you!" They screech back.

"Then let go! I'll hold onto ya! Promise!" He dips below the clouds, wincing as the ice and water lands on his face. He keeps a wide eye out, searching for an opening in the trees. Once he finally spotted it, a slim pathway guarded by trees arranged in a delicate arch, he held the human close, diving down and following the path for a few seconds until they reached the lake.

"Now!" He shouts, watching as they extend their arm and graze their fingertips along the surface of the water, warping the stars above in delicate ripples. He lands them both atop the gazebo, perching on the roof and giving them a moment to catch their breath between airy giggles.

"That was so much fun!" They cheer, gasping and laughing, moving to sit beside him. Mammon's heart races in his chest, a warm feeling bubbling within him followed by the same strange sense of peace he got whenever he was with them. It was as though they calmed every nerve within him, all the parts of his brain that were normally firing full-corce suddenly silenced. He wouldn't- no, he couldn't- think of anything other than them.

They shift their hand to sit atop his own, their warmth seeping into the back of his palm (his hands were normally cold, something they always teased him about). He can feel their fingertips toying with his rings, grazing over every bump and ridge until theylanded on the ones that sat on his thumb before repeating the process (again, something they did often when the two were alone together).

"Thank you for this," They murmur, leaning their head against his shoulder. He gulps, nervously running his pierced tongue against the back of his teeth.

"Y-yep, yeah, totally," The demon takes a deep breath, careful not to disturb them too much. "I mean-ya mentioned wantin' to fly, and I couldn't help myself." He can feel their cheeks warm through the leather of his jacket (could he even call it that?), their fingers coming to a stop on his hand.

"You listened," They say, hushed.

"Why wouldn't I?" The human stays silent for a second, unresponsive.

"It was fun," Giggling, they turn to him. "So, so much fun. I can'tbelieve you can do that whenever you want."

"'Never thought about it that way," He hums. "Y'know, livin' up in the Celestial Realm where everyone has wings, it ain't really that special. It's like walkin' and talkin' for angels."

"Demons too?"

"Some of us, yeah," He rests his head atop theirs. "But it was a little tricky transitioning from that feathery shit to these bad boys-" He throws a thumb over his shoulder, wrapping his wing around their shoulder and earning an amused chuckle. "Ya shoulda seen Asmo, he couldn't figure out how to use four to save his life-"

"Really?"

"Yep-" He makes sure to make the 'p' pop, sighing. "Man, he was covered in scrapes from the number of times he fell."

"He must've been heartbroken," Mammon laughs.

"Nah, heartbroken doesn't begin to describe it. Devastated, more like."

"...I wanna be able to fly like you some day," Mammon's breath catches in his throat and he could swear his heart stopped beating for a moment as the thought hung i the air, carried by the thrumming of the wind and the chirping of insects around them, a cacophony of sounds that should've lessened the blow and served as a distraction.

"When you...?"

"I mean, yeah."

"Ya ain't gonna be a demon," He grunts. "I won't let that happen to ya."

"But if I become an angel I can't stay here with you and your brothers," They sigh. "I can't live like that."

"You're too good to be a demon," Mammon grins. " If ya did come back as a demon-" I'd be the happiest man alive, he wanted to say, the words stuck in the back of his throat. "I'd force ya to go up there myself. 'Sides, wouldn't you rather eat Luke's pastries every day?"

"Not if it means I can't do this."

"Listen," He reaches his hand to their own, intertwining their fingers and rubbing his thumb over their knuckles. "Even if you're an angel after you... go... I'll find ya, yeah? Just wait at those gates for me, and I'll hop 'em, and all those holy bastards can kiss my ass if they think I won't come get ya!"

They laugh, burying their face in the crook of his neck. "Can you say that about angels?"

"Listen, I know it's true. I wasn't there that long ago!"

"...Simeon and Luke are excluded from that, right?"

"Yeah, they'll be helping me plan your escape," He grins. The thought of them leaving him broke his heart more than anyone could ever imagine, but speaking with them about it, joking with them, picturing their eventual immortal life where he wouldn't have to live in fear of something trivial ending their already short life...

"You're thinking too much about it, Mammoney."

"Ya make me worry too much, Dummy."

They sit in silence, isolated from the world with only the bright stars above as company. Below, the water ripples as small insects bounce on the surface, their iridescent wings reflecting off the moonlight above as they danced and spun. Somewhere on the edge of the pond a frog croaked out a broken song, a broken record deep in the forest joined by the rustling of the trees.

"I love you, Mammon, really," They whisper against his neck, sending a chill down his spine. The man takes a breath, forcing his lungs to push air up and out his open mouth. He turns quickly, pressing his lips to their own warm ones, pressing his hand to the back of their neck to pull them closer.

"Say it again," He gasps, finally parting from their warmth. "All of it."

"I love you, Mammon," The demon grins, pulling them back in for another kiss, a gentle one, barely a brush of their lips before pulling away, taking their quick breaths with him (a small price to pay, he thinks, when he'd give them much more than the breath from his lungs).

"I love ya too."

[dukeofdelirium]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "dukeofdelirium "?

Oh lord. Fav fanfics? Idk if I could even come up with 10.

I don’t really read fanfic that much these days unfortunately, mostly bc I haven’t rlly had time with my current job. I do write fanfic on my AO3 though (but my updating is random bc I work a lot). You can find me on AO3 at dukeofdelirium

I have multiple ongoing fanfics, including a Death Note/lawlight one that I’m writing the 2nd chapter for when I have free time.

As for my all time fav fanfics? Ummmmmmm

1) Genius Is a Curse by Bloodshot Eyes both on ao3 and fanfiction.net.

This is a DN AU where Light never finds the DN. I will say it’s very heavy on mental illness and things like that, and ppl might find the content triggering so I would read with caution if this is the case for you. It’s a fanfic that I still think about to this day and that I’ve reread maybe 5 times in the last 14 yrs. Something about it rlly stuck with me and I still think about it all the time.

2) The Hinterland Doctrine aka Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything by Halfpromise both on ao3 and fanfiction.net

We all know where we were when this shit dropped lmfao. This is one of the most iconic death note/lawlight fanfics ever written and just so you’re aware, it’s almost 800,000 words. It has its own tv tropes article and everything 😂 I remember reading this fic in highschool and it had me fucked up in all sorts of ways. I’ve been thinking about rereading it bc I haven’t read it in years but I remember how much I loved it. It’s also an AU where Light is a politician, I’m not telling you anything else 🤫

3) motion picture soundtrack by lowlightt on ao3

this author…. This AUTHOR…. Nahhhhhh their writing makes me actually insane I’m serious. Me and my bestie kept sending their fics back and forth in our group chat and we were literally quoting the fics and going crazy until like 4am for multiple nights in a row 😂 see I’ll do it right now. IT’S VIOLENCE, THIS KISS! god that knocks the wind out of me 🤣

4) Drag You Down by chocomd on ao3

This is a Katara x Aang long fic where they break up and eventually get back together. I rlly love this author and I’ve read most of their works. I recommend all their stuff, especially Midnight Meditations and Without Water which are both one shots I believe? Don’t quote me on that tho

The only other fics coming to my mind are fanfics that my friends have written. Like I said, I don’t rlly read too much fanfic these days and when I do read them, I am very selective and picky about it. For a fic to hold my interest and actually be memorable, they rlly have to scratch a highly niche itch in my brain lol. I’ll link some of my besties fanfics if anyone wants to check them out :)

5) Golden Hour by FuelMyDelusions on ao3

This is a Jacob x Bella longfic and a Breaking Dawn rewrite (thank god cuz we all know it needs that) and I’m WAITING FOR BESTIE TO UPDATE 🙄 jk I can’t talk cuz I know she’s waiting for me to update my shit too 😔🤚🏻

6) Aurora - A New Dawn by poizonivory on ao3

This is another twilight Jacob x Bella longfic that is fixing the hot mess that Breaking Dawn aka Smeyer Hell created. I love this fic so much 👹 you’ll catch me in the comments acting weird

Anyway lol, I can’t think of any other fanfics at the moment. Feel free to shoot me other asks if you want, but yeah I don’t rlly read too many fics these days except for what my friends write and stuff that rlly catches my attention.

And to answer your last question, there isn’t any particular story or meaning behind my username. I’ve just had the username for years and so I use it for practically everything. My URL used to be different over a decade ago when I joined tumblr (I was a 100% death note blog at the time) but then I changed it to dukeofdelirium so I’ve kept this username for many years 😋✌🏻

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

DBD rewatch notes!

episode 1

Why was Charles making that face before offering Crystal to stay at the office?

Why are they not supposed to interact with the living? clearly Emma has no such qualms.

Crystal speaks up to make sure Edwin hears when she says thank you for taking her in

Why is David a surprising name for a demon? Why IS David called David, if it isn't a demon name?

HOW did I watch the show this many times without noticing the septum ring??

"The living are messy. If she had died last night, I'd have no issue with her being here." OKAY EDWIN. I guess this and the 'no living people' rule must have to do with the Infamous Puppy Debacle of '94. In this case, Edwin is not insulting Crystal specifically, but is being very literal that he would not be worried about taking care of a dead person.

I love how they NAME everything from cases to moves to incidents.

Charles teases Edwin for being jealous, but does he actually think that? Edwin is just overly cautious, and yeah that's causing an issue at the moment, but does he have, like, a record of being jealous of girls Charles likes?

Charles immediately tries to seperate Edwin and Crystal to stop them arguing, and Crystal is like "wait what??" like she's SO surprised. Also kinda love the not-subtle dig at Edwin's behavior. That does not go without retaliation ie: you weren't here when the mail came

WAIT they're going on a walk and taking, like Edwin and Monty. that's cute.

Did Crystal actually thin Edwin was in hero for being evil? I feel like that is surprising to hear regardless. Is it common for Charles to explain to people that his bf was only sent to hell on a technicality??

I think Crystal must have learned about hell from David, because if the ghosts she has met haven't moved on yet they have no way of knowing about hell.

The focus on people staring at Crystal is kinda weird. Does she even realize yet?

What did she used to feel like when people got mad at her for being mean?

What does Charles think about the way Crystal talks about her anger? He says it's cool that she is still alive, but does he admire her honesty too?

The up-and-down when she asks if that line used to work. He didn't even tell her what decade he died. Read him.

Aww she wanted to get Edwin some coffee to cheer him up. She even says hi to him as soon as she's inside. Crystal cares whether Edwin likes her or not. At the very least, she is trying to be nice to him.

How DOES the ghost post work? also the sheer incredulity of Crystal's voice lmao. Why exactly does the mail carrier sneak up on them? is he also dead?

Why does he care who the client is? they already know what the mystery is.

'keep your voice down!' bestie you already flirted at her, she knows.

'it's happening too quickly' Edwin doesn't wanna screw up his routine

good on Crystal for getting straight to business. Becky's ALIVE, boys!

Why do they think Death will come back to the office?

more people stare at Crystal. Dies she really not notice before the malt shop?

I can't help being reminded of that textpost about putting Crystal in the bag and going through a mirror.

Edwin thinks he is so clever with the agency name joke. He is so proud of that one. same thing with his journal of opinions joke. he's having so much fun rn.

I love that every time there's a Jenny scene the soundtrack changes to goth or rock music.

Why is the red LED neat diagram briefly orange and why is Edwin so fascinated by it?

She's scary for all of two seconds before becoming awkward and weird and mean. Jenny, ladies and etc!

Edwin is so menacing here FOR WHAT

Crystal gets the room as is, then never decorates it during the following weeks.

Can those ghosts teleport?? I noticed the dragons so it too, is it a shirt distance thing?? wtf?

pictures of guys, huh Charles? Is there anything else notable about the pictures?

Edwin jesus fuck lay off her. He is looking for just ANY excuse to talk shit.

Charles trying to help out Crystal is nice. I wonder why she doesn't like reading minds though? During the course of the series, she totally volunteers to read minds and it's a go-to solution for her. What happened to put her off it that she doesn't remember anymore?

What'd he do to get burned by the iron?

I guess after knowing ghosts for however long, none of them must have told Crystal about iron.

how does that alarm system via possession even work??

After that silence I kinda thought Edwin went to hell for possession when I first watched LMAO

Esther must have put the shoes in the woods as a distraction. I wonder if the boys would have ever found out if it weren't for Crystal.

they know cats talk and have human personalities and yet Charles sees one and is instantly like "aw fuck off man :((" bro chill

Why is the cat voice so. echoey?

what would happen if somebody tried to sit on the stools that the boys are already on?

Do we ever see anything like this door entrance in a mindscape scene after this? Does she ever walk around while in a trance again?

holy crap Edwin

I guess she takes a while to figure out it's her own brain. mecore.

of course there's an argument now. how could there not be?

then they never follow up on the "our demon" line

poor old Edwin has Charles taking such good care of him that he isn't used to the guy trying to take care of TWO peoples' feelings. Man I know that they don't talk about feelings in your time but at some point you've got to learn that everything you're saying is a fear reaction and not a moral stance.

I love the high contrast in this scene!

Simon's lil smile and Edwin walking away looks SO different with Context.

why tf is the sacrifice named "Mary Ann" and WHAT is Simon's brother into?

"don't do that!" and a breath of relief followed immediately by a jumpscare is SO GOOD. like I get scared by jumpscares but I love when they do it like this.

"It's not that bad" *hoovers the boy* *sells him to a demon*

THE TRANSITION. WITH THE SCREAMING

Why is the same cat here? is he following Edwin? W H Y

you're such a whore 🙄 (cat voice)

What if I offered you a sardine out of my gloves hand and bound you in a magical leash and you were a cat🥺 (and we were both boys)

The cat's mannerisms are pretty convincing IMO. my cat does the same ear thing when she wants me to leave her alone. And the tense shoulder/neck scrunch combo just adds to the effect.

I wish Edwin got to use more magic in the show.

not the apathetic eyebrow raise

me when I dump blood

I love this scene. Jenny is so awkward but also she remembers what Crystal says here. She remembers hearing about Crystal's ex like three times ever and ends up going after that boy with a cleaver. but it all starts with Jenny not knowing if she's allowed to show that she cares.

oh and her shield of cynicism

and the way she asks for more information!!

Charles with the questions! detective-ass.

it's interesting that Jenny and Charles both try to help Crystal while looking through a lens colored by trauma (specifically parental flavored) but Charles is so gentle while Jenny is abrasive.

Crystal! With the self-awareness!!

if you what? finish the sentence, Crystal.

Also she says "didn't you see that" like those pink lights were not symbolic they were real in-universe. Crystal and Niko were still acting hella gay tho. ofc, Crystal was under a spell and Niko is just Like That.

FAIR QUESTION

he doesn't answer whether or not it's weird. He also doesn't wait for an answer of if she'll tell Edwin. He trusts her.

Aww poor kidddsss

Edwin walks in and out of rooms like God sent him

Crystal with the self-awareness once agaiiiin 😎

TRANSITIONS

if she was in that relationship since three months ago and we don't know how long she was possessed for before Emma figured out how to find the boys, she may have already been missing for weeks at this point.

The way she is dressed and the way she's acting is risky different from the memories she gets from the marbles. Is this a real memory? Why would she dress like that, or hang out with those people?

Is the possession paralelled to any of this scary movies that was playing in the theater they go to? bc it looks really familiar.

Edwin is really focusing on the wrong details here, man. Also comparing a scared person to their abuser is not fuckin cool.

YAY! FEELINGS TALK!

I love the sound of his voice in this scene.

I mean I thought it was already clear that neither of them wanted David involved but if Edwin needs clarification that's fine ig

the description of Esther is line a spoken word poem

you know he doesn't get out much when he doesn't know about the internet

Jenny is iconic

absolutely ZERO emotional response to "Like kind of a sexy witch who smokes alot but in a cool way" like maybe they didn't hear Charles. maybe their minds were blocking it out because what the fuck /j

and her coat gets caught in the door and she can't drive. Perfect.

The fuckin twirl. Thank you costumes for cutting the vent stitch because the swooshy coat adds to the effect 🙏

Esther leaves the stove on when she's out of the house? does she want her bird to DIE!? It must be an accident because Edwin has to take it off :o either that, or she wasn't planning on leaving for too long, or knew there'd be someone to take care of it 👀

Also Edwin is EXACT in his reading if the floor plan. Like that is SPECIFIC

is that a sink cabinet? no basin??

an empty cabinet like that is sus anyways. who has that little stuff??

Edwin volunteers and Charles knows he's scared but makes sure he does it anyways. I wonder if there are any more examples of this behavior.

Monocrome; floor littered in bones and shoes. Edwin is 'weighed down'

it's not a void, there's a floor.

Wait Has Esther been planting shoes for the cops to find, then re-stealing them for her snake's nest??

Also how often does she kidnap forms because I feel like she'd either have to run out or get caught at some point.

"bag of tricks" they name EVERYTHING

technically they didn't break in

what did she THINK they wanted?

COLLECTOR

I've already said this but Esther loves things she *consumes*, so her love of birds is kinda bad news for Monty. He's just there to use in her plans.

Also the first time I watched this I thought Esther was trying to kiss Crystal. like that shot is. weird.

Why does Charles want the bird to be his friend and why is he not concerned about its living conditions

rope+ magic weight= OW

technically, since everyone else is only going off of Edwin's (and later Cat King's) word, they might think the snake is huge but realistic. do they know it's like fifty feet??

interesting that they show it takes multiple puffs of smoke to paralyze someone but later when she gets power from that rando ghost she does a whole ranged spell with the pipe because she is more powerful.

that is some weird and impractical snake jewelry on her hand.

MUSIC

appearance ONE of the BAT! he DOES NOT get to use it!

Edwin looks to be MORE bothered by the iron burn than Charles now that nobody is looking.

Do people normally get incapacitated when Crystal does her trick?? or is that special for this time?

I wonder what Crystal thinks watching this possession, since she just got possessed recently.

bag of worms?? not a thing

MONTY im tryna threaten some kids🥺

MUSIC

I guess the woods thing was believable bc she's a girl scout.

Also now that Becky's mind is wiped, she can't see the boys even though she has been close to the supernatural. I guess it would have worked on Jenny too if she chose that.

is now a good time to mention: I LOVE Crystal's weird-ass jacket. and she's wearing overalls again today, like in episode (six? I think?)

so now are they on David's case? I guess not lmao

The Night Nurse's hair is so funny to me. She is the only person who would ever think to wear victory rolls with a microfringe.

why are those photos so low-quality and why is the Afterlife Lost and Found a liminal '50s office building full of women?