#to them by watching the crescendo of their role in the story

[peachymess]

I follow canon. No matter how much I’d want to try, I cannot in my head make myself believe something else happened in a story than what was put in canon. There’s room for some interpretations of canon usually. But certain things are pretty clear cut.

……. But for the first time in my life I just so totally, fundamentally disagree with a certain character’s death. It’s not that I dislike it (though I do), it’s that I…. I just think it’s.. there’s been a mistake. This is not what was *supposed* to be canon, on a creation/universe/canon level. This character should not die. The canon is wrong, canon made a mistake and while canons hold weight, a canon has in this instance gone against a higher canon power. A… I don’t know. A force, a way things are meant to be. In our bigger canon, *this canon* was meant to happen another way.

There’s been a mistake. There is an error in the Demon slayer canon. This character isn’t supposed to die 🥹

[bloodydesires-if]

Bloody Desires: The Cure - Intro Post

Demo TBA (Twine) | Itch.io Page

Bloody Desires: The Cure is a supernatural interactive fiction set in the 21st century. When the Vampiric Round Table (VRT) summons you to New York, you have no choice but to go. The VRT has learned of a credible rumor that a cure for vampirism is somewhere out there. But your kind aren’t the only ones searching for it. The dangerous supernatural exterminators, Heaven’s Hunters, seek the cure to wipe vampires from existence.

18+ for violence, blood, death, sexual themes, explicit language, and morally gray storylines.

Embark on a bloody adventure featuring:

6 unique MC backstories;

3 clans to choose from (Viscardi, Crescendo, Saleyrn);

characters, both supernatural and mortal, who you can form alliances and relationships with (or piss off?);

the ability to play as non-binary, male, female, cis, or trans;

opportunities to level up your skills for the fight ahead; 

multiple endings. 

Learn more about the backstories and companion characters below.

The following companions have platonic and romantic routes.

Kieran Collins - The Shifter

137 years old (looks early 30s) | Irish | male | he/they

Kieran is a shifter who takes on the form of a wolf. They have full control of when they shift, although it can be painful if they shift too often between resting. In his human form, he relies on knives and has spent his life studying supernatural rituals and artifacts. 

Charlotte St. Claire - The Deadly English Rose

28 years old | English | female | she/her

Charlotte is a Londoner with a dark past, having spent a large portion of her life entangled with the dangerous underworld of London. This path led to her imprisonment by a group of vampires who treated her as their personal blood bag. After escaping on the precipice of her death, she was found by Kieran who took her under his wing. 

River Silvius - The Witch

32 years old | American | non-binary | they/them

River is the youngest witch in their family and was raised in the state of Washington. They are currently a professor at the New York Institute of Witchcraft, the premier witchcraft college in North America. They sometimes work on cases with Bennett. 

Katerina Kallergis - The (Other) Vampire

282 years old (looks late 20s to early 30s) | Greek | female | she/her

Katerina is a vampire who was born in Greece almost three-hundred years ago. She despises vampirism - including herself and other vampires. Not much is known about members of her clan, the Infinitum, as they are a tight-knit group of vampires who value privacy and usually avoid other supernaturals as much as possible. 

Bennett Williams - The Cowboy

31 years old | American | male | he/him

Bennett grew up on a ranch in Texas, where he was the only survivor of a Heaven’s Hunters (HH) attack that wiped out his family, including his sister who was a Witch and the intended target. He is currently a private investigator for supernaturals and their families. He is fond of his cowboy hat and shotgun and wears an eyepatch on his left eye. 

There will be additional characters who play their own role in the story, including members of the Vampiric Round Table, clan leaders, Heaven’s Hunters, and more. However, this post would be too long to list all of those people.

Here’s a brief look at the six possible backstories for MC. Subject to change if needed by the author.

Shadow of War World I

Born: 1896 - London, England | Turned: 1915 - Loos-en-Gohelle, France

Born in the heart of London, your life brimmed with dreams. But those were overshadowed by the devastating turmoil of World War I. You were driven by a sense of duty at 19 years old and enlisted alongside your best friend from secondary school. After watching your best friend fall in combat, you were overwhelmed by survivor’s guilt and were left trying to navigate the war-torn world without them. Eventually, you were dying on a different battlefield, reminded of them. But as the darkness closed in, so did a vampire…

Shadow of the Roaring 20s 

Born: 1898 - New York, NY | Turned: 1922 - New York, NY

Born to a working-class family in the heart of New York City, you spent the entirety of your mortal life there. Your Sire was drawn to you as soon as you entered the speakeasy that fateful night… as your connection with your Sire grew, so did both of your desires to never lose each other. A year after being turned, a relentless group of vampire hunters took them from you as they sacrificed themself for your sake...

Shadow of the Spanish Renaissance 

Born: 1608 - Barcelona, Spain | Turned: 1635 - Madrid, Spain

Born to a merchant family in bustling Barcelona, your early years were spent comfortably and your family hoped you would follow in their footsteps. But your passions lay elsewhere. You found yourself inspired by artists such as Coello and Velázquez, and frequented libraries and salons. As you grew older, the weight of familial obligations bore down upon you. One night while you were in Madrid visiting friends, a vampire approached you with a proposal…

Shadow of the French Revolution

Born: 1770 - Vizille, France | Turned: 1799 - Paris, France

Born to a family of budding rebels in Vizille, you experienced the backdrop of social unrest and discontent. As the revolution began to spread across France, you found yourself at the midst of it in Paris. It is there that your Sire became fascinated by your sense of justice and chose you to be their eternal descendent. Against your deepest desires, you were thrust into immortality, a fate you never sought, as your original intention was simply to fight for the betterment of humanity…

Shadow of the Zhou Dynasty

Born: 890 B.C. - Western Zhou | Turned: 867 B.C - Western Zhou

Born into a prestigious family, you spent much of your time at court, learning from tutors and schemers alike. As a young adult, you were caught in the crossfires of a power struggle within the court. Betrayed by those you once trusted, you were the victim of an assassination attempt. You only remember your eyes closing….and then waking up as a vampire, your sire nowhere in sight…

Shadow of the Nile

Born: 1050 B.C. - Tanis, Egypt | Turned: 1023 B.C - Thebes, Egypt 

Born to a family of esteemed lineage, you were raised in the sacred walls of the Temple of Amun-Ra in preparation for your future as a religious figurehead. You did eventually become an important leader in Thebes during a time of political imbalance. But then you died. When you awoke, a vampire was watching over you with an amused look. They swore to have found you already dying in an alley…

-----

Asks are welcome if you so desire, however, I won't be doing NSFW reactions or long reactions at this time. I will still do some regular reactions and answer general NSFW. Thanks!

P.S. please let me know if there's an error in the post, thanks <3

[bullet-prooflove]

The Duke's Chambers: Captain Jean Treville x Reader (NSFW)

Tagging: @kmc1989 @@lovemissyhoneybee @sekretwindow @rey4kat burningpeachpuppy swanfan17 dragon85faby  @angelnyx aiko24k 

There is only one person that Captain Jean Treville gets on his knees for and that is his wife. His hands are tangled in your skirts, his fists gripping the fabric as he buries his face between your thighs. His lips ghost over your clit and you make that sweet noise, the one he’s spent months imagining.

He takes pride in your ecstasy, in ruining you in another man’s chambers, knowing his intention to bed you. He wouldn’t normally be so reckless, so undisciplined but tonight he’s not Captain of the Musketeers, he’s your husband, the one who can’t stand the sight of another man’s hands on you.

He understands it’s part of your role, a method of getting close to the Duke in order to remove the key, he holds within his pocket but truly Jean hates it. He spends the entire ball, watching you from afar, his jaw clenched and his hands clasped tightly in front of him.

You’re clad in a dress that he could never give you, in jewels he could never afford. It should rankle Jean but it doesn’t because the Duke doesn’t get to have the real you, he doesn’t get experience your joy, your sadness, you pleasure. You save those things for him.

When you slip out of the ball room, he sees the intention in the Duke’s eyes. He expects to bed you tonight, that he’ll get to experience the heaven between your legs. When he makes a move to follow, Jean intervenes, his hand clasping the other man’s shoulder tightly.

“The king wishes for you to join him at his table.” He informs the other man as he steers him away from the doorway and back towards the ballroom. “He’s very keen to hear the about your hunt today.”

Ambition, it outweighs desire every time with men like the Duke.

You’re leaving the Duke’s chambers when Jean catches up with you. He watches as you tuck the letter with the Cardinal’s orders into your bodice before he closes the door behind him. He has that look in his eyes as he stalks towards you, already unbuckling his sword belt. It falls to the floor with a dull clank as he reaches you.

You open your mouth to speak but he silences you with a kiss, his steady hands backing you up against the Duke’s desk. The papers slip from it, the inkwell clattering as he hikes your skirts up above your thighs. He peppers your throat with heated kisses, the scratch of his beard raking across your flesh.  

“Tell me you’re mine.” He whispers against your skin as he draws down your undergarments. “That I’m the only man that gets to you like this.”

“Jean.” You murmur as he bundles them in his fist and tosses them onto the floor. “You are the only man for me.”

He sinks to his knees, his calloused hands parting your thighs and he inhales because this, this really is heaven. His lips are soft when he kisses you, your breathing hitches, your head tips back and your body arches.

Lord how he worships you, he could spend all night between your legs, bringing you to climax over and over and over again.

He devours you, licking up that sweet honey before he thrusts his tongue deep inside. Your fist curls in his collar, fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt and he knows you’re close, it’s in that sweet little noise you make, the way you say his name. He pulls away just before the crescendo, his fingers scrambling to undo the laces on his breeches.

“On the bed.” He tells you, his voice raw as he raises to his feet. “I want to fuck you on his bed.”

Love Treville? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[cheesewritings]

Chapter 1: The Prodigal Daughter

Fortunate Son blasted from the stereo of the 67 Kaiser that rolled into Hawkins, Indiana. Eowyn was on a mission, given her orders from her father she needed to gather a few people to assist. Driving carefully around the ravines that split the once quiet town she knows the route very well. She’s headed to a remote cabin that once held many happy memories…until her father had to up and move them to DC with his promotion. She was 15 when they left Indiana and now at 20, she’s the youngest fighter pilot the Coalition has ever seen.

The music fades as she pulls into the gravel driveway of the cabin where she learned how to shoot a rifle, an unfamiliar bus sitting in the spot where her uncle’s Bronco usually sat parked. Eowyn shuts off the vehicle, grabs her go bag and makes her way to the deck only to be greeted by a very unfamiliar voice “Whoa dudette, state your name and your purpose here at this lovely forest abode.” “The name’s Hopper, Lieutenant Eowyn Hopper. I’m here to discuss the…uh…situation at hand.” She introduces herself formally hoping it provides a bit of leverage so the hippie in front of her will let her in. She stands up straight trying to make her 5’1” frame a bit more imposing to the man who stands at least one foot taller than herself. “Wait..Hopper?” a more familiar voice crescendos as they walk towards the door. “Winnie? Is that you? Shit man I haven’t seen you since I was in 7th grade.” “Times change Steven. We all have a role to play, I just happened to get mine a bit earlier than expected.” Eowyn cringes slightly at the use of her old nickname. She and Steve grew up on the same block. Turns out when your dad works for a secret government agency, you get to live in the nice part of town. Steve turns to the unfamiliar man in the doorway, “Argyle this is Eowyn Hopper. She’s Chief’s niece. Man will he be glad to see you. Come on in.”

Eowyn enters the room and heads turn towards her. Soon she is crushed under the familiar yet unfamiliar weight of one of her Uncle Jim's bear hugs. “Winnie, you’re here. Where’s your dad? Is he okay? What about your mom?” “She’s finally set down and released from her uncle’s embrace and answers “He’s fine. Mom’s fine. I’ve been sent here on orders.” “Orders?” a young voice questions. “You must be Henderson.” She smiles when he nods his head. “I have orders to bring you all with me to the base.” A woman the same age as her mother stands “Wait what base? You work for the government?” Another voice echoes the sentiment “We don’t trust the government here.” “Bauman shut your cake hole for two seconds.” Eowyn snaps. She takes a deep breath, composes herself and continues “It’s not necessarily the government per se. I mean…it’s sort of a part of the government but more underground. They know we exist but they also know they can’t touch us because we’re the best and we know their secrets.” “Wait are you asking us to join the coalition?” Chief asks.

“More like you’ve all been selected based on your skills and abilities.” Eowyn replies. The balding bearded man stands up “I told you they were watching us. I knew it!” Jim looks to Eowyn as if he is asking her to explain. “Like I said, we’re not necessarily the government but we do know their secrets. However, we know a bit more than they do and we simply choose not to disclose that information to them. The Coalition isn’t simply American based. We’re international. We handle things that traditional militaries can’t. Things that can’t be explained but can be covered up by a decent story and some crazy tabloids.” She explains.

Suddenly a small female voice joins the conversation, “is it anything like Papa and the rainbow room?” “You must be Jane…er..Eleven?” Eowyn asks unsure of what to call the young girl. “You can call me El.” She replies. “El, this is nothing like that. In fact we’ve been trying to stop him for years. At least, stop him from experimenting with children.” Eowyn explains, shivering at the thought of someone doing anything like that to an innocent child. Eleven looks at her curiously and then sits down as if giving Eowyn permission to continue. "I'm a little bit like you in the sense that I was trained to fight because I have natural capabilities that make me good at combat. When dad kept getting promotions in the Corps, they kept an eye on him and what he could do. That's when he got the call from Stinson and was asked to form an elite unit in order to bring Brenner down as well as handle some other things. This collection of fighters, engineers, technical analysts, and others is known simply as The Coalition of Ordered Governments, we call it the COG." Eowyn looks up at the adults in the room after finishing her story seeing Murray Bauman's eyes wide. "What Bauman? You think we didn't know you knew we existed? You're pretty high up on our list of potential operatives." Eowyn states. Hopper chuckles and looks to his niece, "So is your dad still ya know?" "Are you kidding? That man will literally challenge death to a poker game and win." she answers. "So are you guys in? If so, we need to load up and haul out. I've got to make a quick pit stop first on orders from someone back at base but we can head out in the morning." She asks. El looks at her adoptive father, then to the girl who is apparently her cousin, "I'm in." she declares. "Damnit Jim, you've got a little me on your hands don't you?" Eowyn asks. "Unfortunately." he grumbles with a slight smile at the memories of her childhood antics. "Alright then, gather the squad, prepare for departure at 0600." Eowyn orders. She heads out the cabin and to her jeep when she stops and suddenly says "I know you're behind me Harrington. What do you want?" "This is where you went?" he asks. "Yep. And now you get to join the crew. It's good to see you Harry Harrington." she responds. He grumbles at the old nickname from their childhoods. "Trust me, I have a feeling it's going to be worth it by coming to base." she answers, climbing into her jeep. She turns the key in the ignition and shifts into gear before peeling out of the driveway as Battery by Metallica plays on her mixtape.

[alexandriaisburning]

037: Satryn

A deliberate homage to Eugene Jarvis and Larry DeMar’s Robotron: 2084, Satryn initially feels almost too faithful to the original. It’s that close imitation that makes the differences starker, turning it into a companion that draws into focus how little aesthetic choices can drastically alter the feeling of what initially seem to be simple games.

Instead of modern analog movement and aiming, Satryn uses strictly digital 8 way movement and shooting. It goes against the assumptions of the modern twin stick shooter, but what it loses in finesse it gains in precision and readability. A similar philosophy drives the visuals. Backgrounds are stark black fields, with enemies coming in high contrast colors and silhouettes, making it simple to discern them at a glance. Each enemy has a distinct behavior, and a smart player will quickly learn which ones to prioritize.

Dotted among the hazards and enemies are Friends, small smiling creatures who you’re here to save from their banishment. Each friend saved gives a small boost to your score multiplier, which becomes important not only for scoring, but survival, since a random powerup will be generated at certain score intervals. These range in usefulness, from bursts that push enemies away, to adding directional coverage, fire speed, or giving you a shield that allows you to take an extra hit. 

Satryn demands a certain amount of adaptability, since powerups, hazard and enemy placements are randomized every run, keeping you from memorizing stages or developing repeat strategies. It generally works in the game’s favor, since the score based focus and lack of ending keeps it replayable. It’s only occasionally an issue where the random generation can cause wild swings in difficulty, with certain enemy combinations being overwhelming, or the random nature of shield bonuses essentially giving you an extra life through sheer luck. 

It’s also worth giving special attention to the soundscape. Satryn has no background music, instead the atmosphere is made entirely of the arpeggiated synth sound effects, and cold hum of this prison planet. There’s a surprisingly detailed use of directional audio, too, with the sounds of enemies and explosions tracking across stereo channels, adding to paranoia with a sense of danger approaching on all sides. 

This reaches a crescendo after you’ve lasted a few waves, where the diamond shaped Wardens that have previously watched from the game marquee enter the playing field. An audio countdown is initiated, before they burst from the sidelines and drop into the arena, approaching with their intimidating size and multiple layers of armor that need to be dismantled before attacking their core. It’s a terrifying reversal of expectations that suddenly projects another layer of uneasiness into future runs. What you previously believed to be a decorative element were actually sentient beings, observing you and deciding when they need to step in. 

Taken with the background fiction and enemy profiles gradually unlocked in the in-game manual, it provides an interesting subtext to the story, especially when compared to the fiction set up by the original Robotron. Robotron had you playing as a superhuman, the result of a genetic engineering error, saving members of the last surviving human families from an army of robots whose calculations have shown that humanity is its own greatest threat, with the only way to protect humanity being its destruction. The last human family has distinct roles of father, mother and child that mirror a stereotypical nuclear family.

By contrast Satryn’s protagonist, the Former, and the friends you save are considered Invalids, tossed onto the prison planet of Satryn to be disposed of by the creatures in its ecosystem. While Robotron draws on sci fi works like 1984, and fears of technology making human life obsolete, and disrupting the nuclear family, there’s an almost queer subtext to Satryn. Robotron’s menace is artificial, cold and calculating, while Satryn’s enemies are very much organic, splattering into streaks of color with each shot, reproducing and leaving traces of themselves in the arena’s aftermath. 

There’s malice in Satryn’s fiction, where extinction comes not from machine logic, but systematic exile and extermination. Satryn’s Wardens have sent you and your friends to this planet to watch you die, and they step in when they’ve decided it’s taking too long to happen. Intentionally or not, Robotron carries heteronormative assumptions about what the family looks like, with an inherent optimism that the same technological faults that bring upon our destruction can enable us to resist against it. Satryn’s Former is instead exiled by their genetic defects, using the powers granted by it to protect their friends. Even the name feels loaded, with the Former pointing to their status as an ex-human, someone who used to belong to society, or someone who underwent a great change. 

 Maybe that’s projection on my part, but there’s something about the fiction of Satryn that resonates with me. Robotron was painted in the colors of kitsch, the fiction little more than a backdrop for action unfolding. And still it came with assumptions about what the future looked like, and what was worth protecting. Decades later Satryn has provided a companion piece that, intentionally or not, reexamines those assumptions. 

Satryn is available for free on itch.io and Android. A "Deluxe" version is available on Steam with online leaderboards.

[violetsystems]

#personal

Watched Furiosa last night in mostly one sitting. Kind of feel the way I feel about Alien Romulus about it. So much legitimately cool media came out late summer. I had a really low point this year. And it is truly the things that get you through that matter. I went shopping for a few basics and a record yesterday. I kind of went downtown on accident. If Chicago is a small world for me then brushing elbows hurts more than it does help. I saw a person I never wanted to see again. And I walked right by them and laughed out loud. It just makes the more impossible things in my life plausible when they act out like that in public.

I've been the guy trying to grab the camera and point at the problem like "do you see this shit?" And it ends up being about ultimately what you pay attention to. The vibe of things. Because you can't change what nobody wants to see. I walked into the record store thereafter to buy that crack cloud record. It does change once you've heard it on vinyl. Both sides end in a crescendo whereas the digital copy just plays. To purchase it you have to withstand the teenagers vlogging for TikTok by the used folk section while Til Tuesday's voices carry blasting on the speakers on your way out. Let's not talk the frosty reception at the credit card reader. I get that it doesn't belong in the punk section. And yet here we are.

All of this surrounds me like a dirt tornado where ever I go. I imagine it a bit like the peanuts character surrounded by a whirlwind of information attached to my good name. Some of the AI search engines can't differentiate between violet systems the tekken stage and whatever you call me these days riding under the moniker of it. I don't really have to do anything other than pay bills these days and talk to you. And I enjoy it more as time goes on. Because I know culturally that it helps me grow. So new stories can get told where I'm the supporting role and not the main character. <3 Tim

[minhosbitterriver]

🦢 LEARN YOUR FILTHY ABCs ( ateez )

❛ Everything regarding what sex would be like with Seonghwa.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚 + female reader ೯ ( 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 )

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.9k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 16 mins

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This is my very first piece for Ateez, so I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: MDNI, this is pure filth I don’t know what else to tell you, mentions of cum, mentions of his kinks, mentions of sex positions, let me know what else I should add here!

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐣𝐚𝐫 )

𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝘄𝗮 | 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗷𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗴 | 𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗼 | 𝘆𝗲𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗻𝗴 | 𝘀𝗮𝗻 | 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗶 | 𝘄𝗼𝗼𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 | 𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼

If you want to be tagged for all or specific members, comment to let me know!

A──AFTERCARE ⋆ ★ what he’s like after sex

During aftercare, Seonghwa's attention is nothing short of meticulous. His touch is gentle yet purposeful, an intricate dance of care and tenderness. As a switch, his nature is one of balance; the one who held the reins of dominance must now be the nurturing force. This dynamic, for him, is both a necessity and a cherished ritual.

When Seonghwa is in the submissive role, he transforms into a portrait of neediness, craving affection with an almost palpable urgency. His voice, soft and pleading, seeks endless validation through praises and intimate cuddles. He clings with a fervor that speaks volumes of his vulnerability, basking in the warmth of your attention.

Conversely, when the roles are reversed and it's you who finds yourself in need, Seonghwa becomes an impeccable caretaker. His devotion is expressed through thoughtful acts: he delicately cleans you, his touch light as a feather; he offers words of praise that flutter like butterflies around your senses; and he presents you with a glass of water, the cool liquid a soothing balm. Whatever you desire, however small or grand, he ensures that you want for nothing.

B──BODY PART ⋆ ★ his favorite body part of yours

Seonghwa’s adoration is fixated on one particular part of you: your eyes. It might sound like a well-worn cliché, but for him, it transcends mere sentiment. Your eyes are a window to your soul, capturing and reflecting every fleeting emotion with crystalline clarity.

There is an entrancing quality to them that captivates him entirely. When he teases you, he watches as your eyes silently plead, the unspoken desire shimmering within their depths. Each glance and subtle shift tells a story, one that he finds irresistibly compelling. And when the pleasure becomes almost too much to bear, he is mesmerized by the way your eyes flutter and roll back, lost in the throes of ecstasy.

Seonghwa finds himself lost in their gaze, captivated by the intimate revelations they offer. He could lose himself in their depths, watching endlessly as they dance through a spectrum of emotions, each moment more enchanting than the last. For him, your eyes are an endless source of fascination, a mesmerizing mirror reflecting the essence of your being.

C ──CUM ⋆ ★ anything to do with cum, basically

Seonghwa cherishes the sublime moment of climax with a profound intensity. For him, the most exhilarating part is the euphoric build-up that overtakes him. Just before he reaches the peak, a wave of ecstatic tension envelops him, making every muscle in his body quiver in anticipation. This crescendo of sensation is a mesmerizing dance of pleasure, as he trembles on the brink of release, surrendering to the waves of ecstasy that wash over him.

When it is you who reaches the pinnacle of pleasure, Seonghwa finds immense joy in observing your response. He is captivated by the subtle, yet profoundly beautiful, aftershocks that ripple through your body. Each shiver and convulsion is a testament to the intensity of your experience, a visual symphony of your journey through bliss. As you ride the final waves of your climax, your body moves with a delicate, almost ethereal grace, and he revels in the sight of your ecstatic surrender, marveling at the way your pleasure unfolds and gradually recedes.

D ──DIRTY SECRET ⋆ ★ a dirty secret of his

Seonghwa is a man of remarkable openness when it comes to his desires and fantasies. He carries no hidden or "dirty secrets," instead embracing a refreshing transparency in his desires. Anything that piques his interest or stirs his passions is shared with you without reservation.

His confidence in your understanding and acceptance is unwavering. He knows that within the safe confines of your relationship, there is no room for judgment. This trust allows him to express his deepest curiosities and turn-ons with complete freedom. His willingness to communicate his wants reflects a profound respect for your bond, and an acknowledgment of the unspoken understanding that exists between you.

E ──EXPERIENCED ⋆ ★ how experienced was he before you?

Before you entered his life, Seonghwa’s experiences in intimacy were confined to the realm of conventional, vanilla encounters. His past was marked by encounters that, while fulfilling on the surface, adhered strictly to the norms of traditional passion. These experiences, though genuine, lacked the depth and exploration that he now cherishes.

It wasn't until you came into his life that the landscape of his sexuality began to shift profoundly. The intimacy between you both transcended the ordinary, venturing into realms of raw and exhilarating exploration. Your encounters, marked by a roughness that both shocked and thrilled him, redefined his understanding of physical connection. The dynamic you shared opened his eyes to a world of sensuality that was far more intricate and multifaceted than he had ever imagined.

In your presence, Seonghwa discovered a new dimension of pleasure and intimacy. He often reflects on this transformation with a sense of awe, even jestingly claiming that you bestowed upon him what he refers to as his "second virginity." This phrase captures the profound impact you’ve had, as if your shared experiences had allowed him to rediscover and reinvent his sense of sensuality from the ground up.

F ──FAVORITE POSITION ⋆ ★ self-explanatory

Seonghwa revels in the intimacy of spooning during sex, a position that melds closeness with a serene, unhurried pace. This tender embrace allows for a deeply connected experience, where the gentle, rhythmic movements foster prolonged pleasure. As you both settle into this position, his hands are free to roam and explore, caressing and teasing with a sensitivity that enhances the romantic atmosphere. The shared warmth and proximity make this position a perfect canvas for his appreciation of romance and affection.

When the two of you are not curled up together, Seonghwa finds great pleasure in the cowgirl and reverse cowgirl positions. These arrangements present him with a captivating view of your reactions, intensifying the visual and emotional connection between you. In these positions, he can control the rhythm and depth of each movement, savoring every nuance of sensation. Additionally, the opportunity to admire the sight of you in matching lingerie or other alluring visual details adds an extra layer of stimulation and delight to the experience.

G ──GOOFY ⋆ ★ is he serious or goofy?

Seonghwa possesses a demeanor of solemnity, his presence often marked by a serious and composed exterior. Yet, amid the fervor of passion, there exists a charmingly humorous side to his otherwise reserved nature. In the heat of the moment, the intensity of your connection sometimes gives way to an endearing clumsiness.

In these moments, the room is charged with a palpable energy, where the fervor of your shared desire occasionally leads to inadvertent mishaps. Perhaps a tangled leg or a misstep causes the both of you to stumble, breaking the rhythm of your intimate dance. Despite the initial surprise, the atmosphere quickly softens. You exchange quick, silent glances, each of you assessing the other for any signs of discomfort. 

Then, as if on cue, the tension dissolves into laughter. The giggles that erupt between you are spontaneous and infectious, a delightful interlude that momentarily replaces the intense passion with pure, unadulterated joy. The laughter lingers in the air as you both regain your composure, your connection undiminished by the playful stumble. With renewed smiles and a shared sense of amusement, you seamlessly slip back into the rhythm of your intimacy, the light-heartedness only deepening the bond between you. 

H ──HAIR ⋆ ★ how well-groomed is he?

Among all the members, he stands out for his meticulous attention to cleanliness. His grooming habits reflect a level of care that borders on perfectionism. Down there, he is as smooth as a baby's skin, a testament to his dedication to personal upkeep. 

This meticulousness is partly driven by his penchant for wearing lingerie, where he feels that a hair-free look enhances his aesthetic. His confidence extends to his physical appearance, as he takes pride in showcasing a particularly well-endowed and visually appealing aspect of himself. His smoothness, therefore, is not just a matter of preference but a deliberate choice to accentuate his natural beauty and enhance his overall presentation.

Despite his preference for a sleek appearance, he also harbors an appreciation for the allure of a well-groomed bush. It’s a contrast that underscores his nuanced tastes, revealing a deep respect for both pristine elegance and the classic appeal of natural beauty. 

I ──INTIMACY ⋆ ★ the romantic aspect of sex

For Seonghwa, the essence of romance in intimacy is deeply intertwined with the trust you both share. This trust, built on mutual understanding and respect, transforms each encounter into a profound expression of connection. The way you rely on each other during these moments is where he finds the true beauty of your bond.

Yet, this does not imply that he is incapable of appreciating the gentler side of intimacy. Occasionally, he finds immense beauty in the simplicity of slow, vanilla sex—a tender exploration of togetherness that emphasizes the joy of simply being with you. For him, these moments of unadorned affection hold their own special charm, celebrating the profound beauty of your relationship in its most straightforward form.

J ──JACK OFF ⋆ ★ masturbation

Seonghwa reserves his solo moments of indulgence primarily for when he’s on tour. During these times, he makes a ritual out of it, capturing the experience on film with a meticulous care. He sends these recordings to you, turning his private moments into a shared pleasure, a way to keep the connection between you alive even when distance separates you.

He derives a particular thrill from edging himself, drawing out his own pleasure in a manner reminiscent of the way you tease him. The deliberate delay of gratification adds a layer of intensity to his experience, reflecting his deep appreciation for the art of anticipation. Each moment of self-restraint is an intimate tribute to the way you both savor and extend pleasure, keeping the bond between you both alive and vibrant. 

K ──KINK ⋆ ★ one or more kinks he’d have

Each time you call him “mommy,” he struggles to contain the overwhelming rush of arousal it provokes. The sound of the word alone drives him to the edge of sanity, his restraint faltering as he fights against the tide of his own pleasure. In moments of intense desire, he might even humorously refer to himself as “mommy,” a playful nod to the potent effect your words have on him.

Seonghwa is also deeply enthralled by the complexities of dominance and submission. His fascination with these dynamics is reflected in his diligent research, where he eagerly explores various aspects of the interplay between control and surrender. He frequently shares intriguing articles and ideas with you, each link a glimpse into his desire to experiment and expand your mutual experiences.

The intense trust forged through these moments of passionate, almost sadistic encounters is something Seonghwa cherishes deeply. Wrapped in the raw energy of your interactions, the bond between you strengthens, flourishing within the confines of aggressive play. For him, this trust is not just a foundation but a source of profound connection and gratification.

As a switch, Seonghwa exemplifies the fluidity between dominance and submission with remarkable ease. While he is equally content in either role, he often gravitates towards the dominant side. His ability to navigate both roles seamlessly underscores his versatility and deep-seated passion, ensuring that every experience is both dynamic and fulfilling.

L ──LOCATION ⋆ ★ favorite places to fuck

Though it may seem modest, Seonghwa finds a profound sense of comfort in the familiar confines of either your room or his own when it comes to intimacy. He is not one to seek out the thrill of adventurous locations; instead, he values the serene and secure environment that these private spaces offer.

To him, the intimacy of these familiar surroundings is essential, especially when the dynamic calls for one of you to embrace a submissive role. The reassuring presence of well-known settings provides a grounding force, allowing for a deeper connection and a sense of safety. In these cherished spaces, both of you can fully immerse yourselves in the moment, free from the distractions of the outside world.

M ──MOTIVATION ⋆ ★ what turns him on?

Seonghwa finds an exquisite thrill in the elegance of matching lingerie, a source of unparalleled excitement for him. He adores slipping into these delicate garments himself, often complemented by flowing, elegant robes that enhance the allure of his attire. The refined textures and intricate designs captivate him, transforming his personal experience into a celebration of sensuality and sophistication.

However, his passion reaches new heights when you join him in this indulgence. If you wear matching lingerie, but in a contrasting color, the sight alone could drive him to the brink of ecstasy. The visual symmetry, coupled with the playful contrast, ignites a fervent desire within him. The mere image of you both adorned in such exquisite lingerie, yet diverging in hues, creates an intoxicating blend of harmony and contrast that drives him to the edge of his passions. 

N ──NO ⋆ ★ his turn-offs

Despite his deep affection for BDSM, Seonghwa’s response to seeing you in distress is immediate and heartfelt. Even if you haven’t uttered the safe word, the sight of tears welling up in your eyes sends a ripple of anxiety through him. His devotion to your well-being overrides any desire for continued play.

As soon as he detects the first glimmer of tears, Seonghwa instinctively halts all activity. His focus shifts entirely to your emotional state, his concern evident in his every gesture. He approaches you with a gentle urgency, offering a moment of respite and a soothing presence designed to help you regain your composure.

He gives you the space to calm down, his attentiveness unwavering. Only when you’re ready and have assured him that you wish to continue does he cautiously resume. His care and consideration ensure that each step forward is guided by your comfort and safety, underscoring his deep respect and affection for you.

O ──ORAL ⋆ ★ giving or receiving?

Seonghwa holds a profound appreciation for the art of oral pleasure, whether he is the one giving or receiving. To him, this act transcends the physicality of penetration, embodying a level of intimacy that is both deeply personal and exquisitely intimate.

The sensation of having his lover’s aroused form graced by his mouth is a profoundly tantalizing experience. The act of enveloping and being enveloped in this way creates a delicate dance of desire, where each touch and caress becomes an expression of profound connection. This intimacy, characterized by its closeness and the nuanced interplay of pleasure, is a beautiful exploration of mutual arousal that elevates the act to a realm of its own, marked by a tender, almost reverent allure. 

P ──PACE ⋆ ★ fast and rough or slow and sensual?

Seonghwa’s approach to intimacy is intricately attuned to the mood of the evening. The rhythm and intensity of his touch are shaped by the theme of the night, each encounter reflecting the depth of his connection with you.

When he returns from a tour, having been away from the comforting embrace of your presence, he delights in taking his time with you. These moments are slow and languid, filled with a deep, sensual exploration that allows him to savor every nuance of your erotic sounds. He treasures this time, each moan and sigh a sweet reminder of the intimate bond you share.

Yet, there are occasions when his desire overtakes his patience. Even in these instances, where urgency drives him, he remains committed to a substantial period of foreplay, never skimping on the necessary build-up. His passion ensures that even in moments of heightened eagerness, there is still a generous thirty minutes dedicated to the art of seduction, each touch and caress meticulously designed to heighten the anticipation and pleasure. 

Q ──QUICKIE ⋆ ★ yes or no?

Seonghwa is far from one to indulge in fleeting encounters; he treasures the art of making every moment count. The concept of a quickie holds little appeal for him. Instead, he revels in the slow, deliberate exploration of intimacy, savoring each nuance of the experience.

Foreplay, for him, is an essential and cherished prelude. He delights in the intricate dance of seduction that unfolds long before the physical act itself. The act of making out, with its tender, lingering kisses and the gradual unbuttoning of clothes, captivates him. Each touch and caress is a prelude to deeper connection, a way to savor the closeness and build anticipation.

The process of undressing one another is a ritual of its own, a sensual act of intimacy where every button and zipper becomes an opportunity to explore and adore. For Seonghwa, the journey leading up to sex is as precious as the act itself, and he finds immense pleasure in the slow, passionate build-up that enhances the depth of your shared connection. 

R ──RISK ⋆ ★ down for risky sex?

Seonghwa's approach to intimacy is deeply rooted in romance, seeing it as a canvas upon which he paints both passion and tenderness. His appreciation for the emotional connection in sex is profound, and he often seeks to blend the elements of pleasure and pain in a way that enhances the romantic experience rather than detracting from it.

In his exploration of sensuality, he embraces the nuances of incorporating pain, yet he does so with a careful and measured touch. This integration of pain is never excessive or dangerous; instead, it is artfully balanced to intensify the overall experience while maintaining a sense of safety and care. Each sensation is meticulously calibrated to ensure that it enriches the emotional and physical connection, rather than overshadowing it. His aim is to enhance the romantic aspect of intimacy, creating a space where pleasure and pain coexist harmoniously, always respecting the boundaries of comfort and safety. 

S ──STAMINA ⋆ ★ all night or minute man?

Seonghwa’s experiences of climax are often swift and intense, marked by a rapid crescendo that leaves him breathless. Yet, his passion is not confined to a single moment; he possesses an extraordinary stamina that allows him to engage in multiple rounds, extending the pleasure over hours of unrelenting intensity.

He delights in the art of overstimulation, pushing the boundaries of his own endurance with a fervent curiosity. Each round is an exploration of limits, where he tests just how much sensation he can savor before reaching the brink. This relentless pursuit of pleasure transforms each encounter into a prolonged symphony of ecstasy, where his ability to endure and delight in continuous stimulation becomes a testament to his passion and resilience. 

T ──TOYS ⋆ ★ on you? himself? not at all?

Incorporating toys into your intimate moments brings an exhilarating dimension to your experiences. When you use toys on him, he is equally eager to reciprocate, exploring the realms of pleasure with the same enthusiasm. The presence of these toys transforms your encounters into a playground of sensory exploration and mutual delight.

The interplay of these toys becomes particularly thrilling when one of you is pushed to the brink of pleasure. The teasing edge of anticipation and the heightened sensations of overstimulation create a captivating dynamic. As you both navigate the shifting tides of arousal, the toys become instruments of both pleasure and connection, intensifying the shared experience and deepening the bond between you.

U ──UNFAIR ⋆ ★ is he a tease?

Seonghwa embodies the essence of a tantalizing tease. His playful nature shines through in his interactions, especially when it comes to the art of seduction. He has a particular fondness for toys, viewing them not merely as instruments of pleasure but as tools for both torment and intrigue.

For him, these toys are designed to push boundaries, to tease and tantalize with a precise, calculated touch. However, his preference leans decidedly towards overstimulation rather than prolonged teasing. His impatience for the drawn-out dance of anticipation often leads him to favor the more intense, immediate gratification of overstimulation. The crescendo of heightened pleasure, in his view, far outweighs the subtler, more patient game of tease. 

V ──VOLUME ⋆ ★ what he sounds like

Seonghwa’s responses during moments of intimacy are often marked by a subtle elegance rather than overt noise. His pleasure is usually conveyed through soft, breathy sighs and the occasional gasps, each sound a delicate whisper of his sensations. This muted expression of enjoyment adds a layer of intimacy, creating a quiet yet profound connection between you.

However, on those rare occasions when his pleasure overwhelms him, his sounds shift to a more surprising register. His moans and cries become unexpectedly high-pitched, breaking through his usual reserve with a surprising intensity. These moments of vocal revelation are fleeting yet intense, offering a glimpse into the depth of his arousal and the delicate balance between his restrained demeanor and his more unguarded responses. 

W ──WILD CARD ⋆ ★ random headcanon

Seonghwa finds a profound allure in the intimate art of shibari, a practice that weaves together both physical and emotional connection in an exquisite dance. The act of binding each other with intricately colored ropes becomes a ritual of both elegance and intensity, where every knot and loop is imbued with deep significance.

As the ropes weave around your bodies, there is an added layer of intimacy in the tender whispers of praise and soft, lingering kisses that accompany each touch. This delicate interplay of sensation and affection transforms the experience into something profoundly special. The act of shibari doesn’t necessarily culminate in sex; sometimes, the shared ritual of creating these beautiful bonds and savoring the moment together is a reward in itself. The experience becomes a celebration of closeness and trust, where the beauty of the act and the connection it fosters are cherished above all else. 

X ──X-RAY ⋆ ★ what’s under his clothes?

Seonghwa’s skin is a stunning tapestry of smooth, sun-kissed tan, exuding a radiant warmth that highlights the elegance of his physique. His muscles are meticulously toned, embodying a sleek, lean grace that eschews the more defined abs for a subtler, refined strength. 

His length is equally captivating, possessing a pleasingly average size that is generously thick. The veins that sinuously wind along its surface create an intricate and alluring pattern, adding a touch of natural artistry to his form. The tip, a delicate shade of pink, stands out as a beautiful contrast, completing the picture with its understated, yet striking elegance. 

Y ──YEARNING ⋆ ★ how high is his sex drive?

Given the intense demands of BDSM, Seonghwa understands the importance of balance. His approach to intimacy reflects a deep respect for the physical and emotional toll it can take on both of you. While your time together is filled with exhilarating and profoundly intimate moments, he is not driven by a constant craving for more. 

Sex with you is an experience of great pleasure and connection, yet it is not an everyday affair. Seonghwa recognizes that the richness of your encounters is enhanced by allowing time for recovery and reflection. This mindful approach ensures that each experience remains as fulfilling and intense as the last, preserving the integrity of your bond and the depth of your connection. 

Taking time to recuperate between sessions is not merely a practical necessity but a cherished part of your shared journey. It allows both of you to savor the afterglow, to reconnect on a deeper level, and to approach each new encounter with renewed energy and enthusiasm.

Z ──ZZZ ⋆ ★ how quickly does he fall asleep after?

Seonghwa’s devotion extends beyond the moments of passion, reaching into the tender aftercare that follows. His commitment to your well-being is unwavering; he insists on staying awake until you do. Whether you wish to linger a bit longer, basking in the warmth of conversation and gentle cuddles, he is more than willing to oblige. His presence remains a comforting constant, a reassurance that you are not alone.

When you eventually drift into slumber, he remains by your side, his touch soft and tender. If you fall asleep swiftly, he gently nuzzles up to you, finding solace in your proximity as he too succumbs to the embrace of sleep. For Seonghwa, this post-intimacy closeness is an integral part of his aftercare routine. 

He cannot bring himself to rest until he is certain you are completely settled and serene. His need to ensure your comfort and safety outweighs his own fatigue, highlighting his deep care and attentiveness. Only when he is assured that you are peacefully asleep does he allow himself the luxury of rest, his love and concern wrapped around you like a protective embrace.

꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ ミ My permanent taglist is open! (Click on the link to join! All you have to do is answer a few questions to help me stay organized!)

🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS! STAYBLR FUNDRAISER!

[sublimeobservationarcade]

 Civil War In America: The Sequel

I just watched Civil War, the 2024 movie, by Alex Garland. I had been holding off on viewing it because I didn’t know if it would be another Hollywood gun fest. Initially, my thoughts were ��� yeah, dumb Americans and their stupid obsession with whizz bang weapons. I mean, the country contains some 600 million guns, apparently. I called this article, Civil War in America: The sequel because they are looking down the barrel of a second instalment of this potentially bloody conflict. 600 thousand Americans died during the first Civil War in 1861-65. The automatic weapons are much more impressive now, so, the butcher’s bill could be way more this time round.

Killing Americans Aint So Civil

The film is a road movie with war photo journalists and correspondents at its centre. This makes sense as a directorial creative means to tell such a spread out story. It begins with violent street protests and a suicide bomber bearing the stars and stripes flag as a banner into the crowd. The explosion rips apart bodies and leaves them bleeding hunks of meat on the pavement. Our photo journalist lead character, Kirsten Dunst, snaps black and white still shots of the carnage for the movie audience to observe. The media holding up a mirror for everybody to see. We remember those iconic images from prior wars like Vietnam, the Balkans and Somalia. It made me feel old and sad at this time in the viewing experience.

Celebrating War Correspondents

The cliched war correspondents drowning their sorrows and partying at a hotel throws up inferences to famous conflicts like the Spanish Civil War of the 1930s and George Orwell and his journo colleagues. The danger of bombs and bullets increase the sexual libido of the fourth estate representatives as they indulge in booze and fuck each other in case the next moment could be their last. Smoky lobby bar scenes replete with excessive alcohol going down throats apace. Here we meet the main characters of Civil War the movie. Dunst and her journo colleague played by Wagner Mouro, Stephen McKinley in the role of the overweight old timer with gravitas. Youthful audience members have Cailee Spaeny to root for as the young actress being passed the baton by Dunst’s character as the new snapper on the scene. She will emerge as the driven edgy eye of a wounded nation. These four jump in their jalopy and hit the highway for a 600 mile journey to Washington DC. We wonder what they will see. Uncivil Carnage Displayed Enthusiastically Well, instances and episodes of carnage and bloody conflict. Bodies hung from bridges in an ode to Tehran and other Islamic cities that display their executed victims as warning to the greater public. Truckloads of murdered victims of militias being dumped in mass graves. You are never quite sure who is who in this depiction of civil war, which is deliberate I am sure. The WF are the Western Forces, Texas and California, who are one of the main insurrectionist forces against the President of what was the United States. The heroic nature of capturing images of despicable acts of war and violence is revealed as questionable. Accompanying one side or another as they fight and slaughter opposing human beings to take photos of the action is strange but considered historically appropriate. Garland juxtaposes the young innocent lens woman with the dickhead guys shooting murderous rounds into their victims. Getting off on war and violence is the purview of blokes in the main. AR15 style weapons are toylike in the ease that they end the lives of unarmed victims when so directed by moronic Americans. Lots of shooting and killing abounds.

On The Road To Death & Destruction Our road movie reaches a crescendo when duelling vehicles perform that classic of American cinema the car chase. In this rendition of the Hollywood favourite stunt scene two of our war journos swap cars via the passenger window whilst travelling at high speed down the highway. You sense that they have surrendered to the kinetic energy of unrestrained violence that permeates the air. It will all end badly, however, especially for the non-Anglo members of our travelling press core. The old fat man saves our protagonists, as the loss of innocence is rammed home in no uncertain terms. This sobering post-adolescent high section of the movie confirms Civil War as tragedy rather than dark comedy in nature. Death surrounds the lens of the camera and the culmination of what they call the American experiment is no celebration. Killing is the constant in this film and institutions fall to bombs and bullets. I suppose you cannot call a movie Civil War and deliver a happy ending.

Civil War Conclusions? What does one takeaway from this movie? Civil War in America: The sequel is an imagined modern rendition of the classic violent rupture, which almost ended the United States, as we know it. At its most obvious it illustrates the likely danger of an armed population resorting to violence via an insurrection. The male of the human species can be relied upon to turn to aggression as a means of exerting its appetite for power. The cyclical nature of warfare is testament to this, as correlated by the historical record. Right now, we have Putin’s Russian invasion of Ukraine entering its 3rd year, although it really began back in 2014. War in Syria has been going on for a decade. Israel is fighting Hamas in Gaza and that is spreading to Lebanon and Iran is involved via proxy conflicts in Yemen and elsewhere. Africa is often a battleground for warlords and power struggles occurring there with postcolonial overtures and Russia’s military presence exploiting opportunities. Fighting continues in Myanmar between the rebel forces and the military regime currently in power. If the United States descends into civil war the world will be greatly destabilised and more outbreaks of war will almost certainly be guaranteed. China may step up to exert its military power and increase its zone of influence by more direct means. World War 3 is more likely than not in these circumstances. The stupidity of white American males wanting to flex their power over cultural issues like LGBTQI rights, transgender rights, restoring misogyny, and a bogus illegal immigration crisis will be a blood letting that could unleash the end of American dominance on the world stage. You cannot fight an enemy at home and abroad and hope to win. You cannot turn back time and halt the progression toward a multicultural humanist democracy by force and expect that that will last. Backlashes are not smart moves for any society, they are reactions which run out of steam. Older folk die off and women are not going to put up with archaic returns to misogyny and patriarchal structures. Apartheid is another manifestation of a minority controlling the majority via force. We witnessed it in South Africa and the American Jim Crow south. Race remains an evil issue close to the soul of America. Slavery defined half the nation for hundreds of years and its consequences continue to imperil the whole of America. You cannot ignore it and outlaw studying it, as some southern states are doing. The polarisation of America has been fanned by radical right wing interests. In the media by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News most loudly. Via religion in the overt moves by Christian Nationalism and its network of white wealthy men wishing to visit their conceptions of American identity upon the whole of the country. The Republican party has been taken over by Trumpist MAGA extremists. Project 2025 is a 920 page plan to take over America from the Heritage Foundation – an ultra-conservative think tank. Many pundits think that the 2021 Capital riots were a failed coup and dress rehearsal for what is to come. Trump continues to promote the big lie about the 2020 election and his defeat by now President Joe Biden. Donald Trump lies at every opportunity about just about everything. America is awash with disinformation like a storm with no cessation. Deep down I reckon even Trump supporters know that they are complicit in a bunch of lies. These white Americans want to stand on the backs of those they consider inferior, whatever it takes. They want to win at all costs. This kind of behaviour leads to civil war. Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of America Matters: Pre-apocalyptic Posts & Essays in the Shadow of Trump.

©WordsForWeb Read the full article

[linuxgamenews]

Make Decisions & Execute Strategies in IDUN Action RTS

IDUN singleplayer action RTS game just announced for Linux, Mac, and Windows PC. Which is the result of the work and effort from developer IDUN Interactive. Due to make its way onto Steam next year. There's a fresh new singleplayer action RTS game for you, called IDUN. If you're unfamiliar, you will be actively making decisions, planning, and executing strategies as the action unfolds in real-time. Everything takes place on a remote drilling colony located on the outer rim of space. This isn't just a regular drilling operation, though. Things have taken a twist, and challenges have arisen. Now, this isn't your typical "defeat the alien invasion" or "mine resources to survive" story. IDUN presents you with a complex tale involving a unique crew. Each member comes with their distinct personality, background, and role to play. Doing so in a story filled with love, deceit, and unexpected turns. It's almost like diving into a thrilling sci-fi novel, but you're in control. One of the standout features of IDUN is the setting. When they say the battlefield is "fully simulated", they genuinely mean it. You're not just watching a static map where units move around. Actions have outcomes here. If an explosion occurs, it will leave a crater behind. That crater could become a tactical advantage or a problem. So as the combat progresses, you might even see these craters filled, altering the dynamics of the battlefield. This level of detail brings a layer of depth and realism, making every choice matter.

IDUN - Trailer - Reveal

This title doesn't skimp on giving you control, either. Since you have a toolbox full of powerful defenses, equipment, and characters. You're not just directing them; you're empowering them. As you delve deeper, there's also an option to upgrade and enhance. So that as challenges grow, so do your abilities. It's like being the director of a massive, explosive symphony. You decide where the crescendos happen. If you've been looking for something deep, engaging, and not just another run of the mill strategy title, IDUN might be for you. The Demo is available for Linux, Mac, and Windows PC. So compatibility shouldn't be an issue. For those who prioritize language options, you're in luck! English voice overs with added localizations in French, German, and Spanish. Due to ensure you can enjoy the title in your preferred language. Curious to know more? Steam has all the details you need for the singleplayer action RTS game. IDUN will let you strategize and let the adventure unfold in Q1 2024. Coming to Linux, Mac, and Windows PC. Due to be priced at $14.99 USD / £12.49 / 13,99€.

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

“Seducing Mr Bridgerton”

a Fan fictional rewrite of “Romancing Mr Bridgerton by Julia Quinn”.

Dear Reader,

I really shouldn’t... I have so many more urgent, important and demanding things to do.... but God is this calling to me right now. 

A little background on how this idea came to me: 

I was on TikTok (of course) and with BridgertonS2′s debut, the content surrounding it was immense. I came across several TikTok’s where they would rate the books and found most of them (the ones I watched at least) tended to rate Penelope and Colin’s book near the bottom. One of them claimed it was because of the dislike they felt towards Colin’s development as a character in the book. They even claimed he was ‘Manipulative, Aggressive with the potential to be abusive’. 

Of course, I had to actually read the book to discover the merits of their opinion; despite initially refusing to read the books so not to influence my expectations for the series. 

After finishing the book, I can understand why they would come to such a conclusion. Especially if a reader was brought into the fandom thanks to Netflix’s adaptation. 

I felt that Colin’s shift in personality was completely understandable and made perfect sense. He’d been considered a ‘Golden boy’ and ‘Charmer’ among those of the ton. He had two successful older brothers, who didn’t lack in popularity either, not to mention their individual passions that saw their names distinguished. Despite being known for his Travelling, not many thought it all too special. In fact, many most likely thought him to be running away from the marriage schemes his mother encouraged him to consider (which is pretty much confirmed to be true in the books). 

Yes. It’s true Colin is portrayed as rather spoiled and often expressing tantrum level outbursts throughout the plot, especially regarding his treatment of Penelope. However, if we consider the years upon years of him playing the role of ‘charming Golden boy’ and feeling lesser compared to his brothers, his reactions are understandable (not excused but understandable). 

In comparison, Penelope is openly regarded as nothing great by the ton. Many blatantly pity her and dismiss her prospects of being worth anything. But we, as the reader and viewer audience of the show, know better. We know of her fiery wit, her observational ability and her talents for comprehending scandal, drama etc. Above all else, we know how greatly infatuated she is with the image of Colin she’s built in her head over the years. 

I think “Romancing Mr Bridgerton” isn’t appealing to many because it takes the understanding readers have of these characters, the persona’s/ characteristics we’ve come to know them by, and ignores them for their flaws. 

It is there Penelope and Colin’s Love story truly resides. Not in the pining or in the sudden passion after years of a slow-burning romance. One might read the book and think Colin takes advantage of Penelope as he’d known she’d had a romantic interest in him. Another might see Penelope as desperately clinging to what might be her only chance at escaping spinsterhood. 

The attraction, in my opinion, of Penelope and Colin’s story is how their flaws added to their character rather than destroy it. I think, we as readers were spoiled and felt entitled to the fact that we knew Penelope and Colin’s characteristics. So when we are confronted with aspects of them we’d not seen or thought they could possess, we are disgruntled, uncertain and perhaps even feeling a little cheated. 

Like Penelope’s realization of Colin not being as she pictured, Colin and Penelope’s interactions do not read as ‘romantic’ as we imagined. Instead, Colin’s sudden desperation to wed Penelope becomes similar to that of a spoiled child soon to lose a favoured toy. Penelope’s eagerness to have Colin in any way she can seem pitiful and desperate, like that of a person clinging to a fantasy. It is not the gentle, passionate crescendo of love we expected from their slow burn, but the frantic haste of marriage and possession. A desperate bid to keep one another by each other’s side in any way they can have them. 

I didn’t intend for this to be an essay, I just really wanted to explain my own views on the characters and the book. 

This is why I had the idea of writing a Fan fictional rewrite of their story, with the focus being on the darker shades of their romance. I’ve seen many claims to love Kate and Anthony (Book: The Viscount Who Loved Me) due to their passionate desires to best one another. The same burning desire Daphne and Simon showcased in Season 1 of the show. 

This fic would be my attempt of proving Colin and Penelope were just as reverently passionate. 

So, I’m curious dear Reader who has lasted to this end, how desperately do you desire to read such a fic? 

Sincerely,  

ShameOnMe 

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Righting Wrongs (Yuen, 1986)

This review contains spoilers.

I’m used to how Hong Kong’s distinct historical and political subtext worms its way into its movies, even seemingly lightweight ones. Something like Police Story provides an obvious example, moving from a cheerful action comedy (full of breathtaking, death-defying action sequences) to something angrier, where the hero has been left to fend for himself by the institutions he once served but has lost faith in (but still with breathtaking, death-defying action sequences). But even then, that movie has its share of levity throughout, and ends on a note that I certainly wouldn’t call bleak. Perhaps it’s on me for not looking too much into this movie beforehand, but I was struck by how bleak this is. Within the first few minutes, an entire family is killed in order to sink the case against a pair of mobsters. Dismayed, the prosecutor decides to take the law into his own hands. But while in Police Story, the hero taking the law into his own hands got results and saved the day, the same thing here maybe does take down the criminal mastermind, but gets a lot of other people killed along the way.

I watched the Hong Kong cut and one of the alternate endings (my copy, freshly arrived in the mail from 88 Films, includes a few other cuts that I understand have different endings). Both of them end with the hero dead. The Hong Kong cut maybe leaves a bit of room for ambiguity, with the hero’s body floating in the water after he dives out of a plane right as it crashes, but the alternate ending ends with a grim punchline, with a group of partiers on a nearby boat choosing to ignore the corpse so that it doesn’t ruin their fun. I think I prefer the former, in part because I wanted to believe that the hero survived, but also because it ends things right at the peak of a crescendo. The latter drives the themes home, but allows things to come back down. Or to use punctuation, it’s an exclamation mark versus a period or ellipses. I guess I’m like Elaine Benes in that I’d opt for the former.

The hero is played by Yuen Biao, who I’d previously known mostly as a supporting player in the movies of his better known friends and co-stars Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung. (The three of them make up my most watched actors this year, according to my Letterboxd stats.) In those other movies, he usually had an offbeat, likable presence, bouncing off Jackie and Sammo to hit a different set of comedic notes. (My favourite is probably his role in Dragons Forever, where he navigates his political and philosophical confusion and tension between capitalism and communism through his treatment of his pets.) Disappointment might be the wrong word, but I was definitely caught a little off guard by how seriously he plays things here. He’s effective in the role, and it’s the right tone for the surrounding film, but I did miss the quirkiness of his other roles. To the extent that there is levity here, it’s provided by the dynamic between a slobbish cop played by director Corey Yuen and his doting father played by Wu Ma, but like I alluded to earlier, nobody here gets a happy ending.

But while this is certainly a grim movie, it’s far from a joyless one, in that it’s directed with a constant forward momentum and packed full of top notch action sequences. I don’t know what I can say about the action here that would meaningfully differ from anything I’ve said about other classic Hong Kong action movies. I need to get better at discussing technical matters; the two touches that stood out to me were the uses of undercranking and body doubles, which are less offensive here than usual because of how relentlessly the action hurtles ahead. But one is simultaneously in awe and likely wincing as they see one  crackling, fast paced, painful-looking action scene after another, whether it’s Biao taking down a group of assassins (which include a Mick Jagger lookalike and a gunman with an accordion), trying to avoid getting flattened in a cramped garage while the villains try to play bumper cars, Cynthia Rothrock and Karen Shepard going (wo)mano a (wo)mano (this apparently was notable for casting non-Chinese actresses in a Hong Kong movie in a non-gimmicky way), or Biao chasing after a plane on foot in the breathtaking (and death-defying) finale.

[nickjunesource]

Full article below.

Max Minghella is sitting in his backyard in the LA sunshine, his t-shirt an homage to the French filmmaker Mia Hansen-Løve, his adopted shepherd mix, Rhye, excited by the approach of a package courier.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks — the dog, not me — tenderly.

Minghella, who at 35 has dozens of screen credits to his name, is best known as The Handmaid’s Tale’s cunning chauffeur Nick Blaine, a character who it’s difficult to imagine saying sweetheart. In airless Gilead, of course, a cautious hand graze with Elisabeth Moss’ June can pass for a big romantic gesture. In a Season 1 episode featuring child separation and hospital infant abduction, Nick’s major contribution is to trade stolen glances with a sex slave while “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” pumps discordantly along. I ask Minghella about playing the series’ closest approximation to a dreamy male lead against the show’s dark narrative of female subjugation.

“I know this is not the answer you want to hear,” Minghella says with none of Nick’s hesitation. “But I like that stuff, right? In the pilot, I think Nick only had a handful of lines. It wasn't clear that this is what the character would turn into. And it's quite fortunate for me personally, because I'm not a massively sort of intellectual person in my real life. I love Fifty Shades of Grey. That's like my Star Wars. It suits me to play a character like him.”

Minghella surmises that this enduring romanticism is an outcome of nurture. His father, the late British director Anthony Minghella, made grand romantic dramas like Cold Mountain and The English Patient. And there was the young, cinema-mad Max sitting on the living room sofa, absorbing everything. “It’s taken me a long time to understand this,” he says of his prolonged childhood exposure to love stories. “My dad made The English Patient when I was 10. So it was two years of watching the dailies to that movie and then watching 50 cuts of it. And then [The Talented Mr.] Ripley he made when I was 13, and it was the same thing.” These were an adolescent Max Minghella’s alternative to reruns. “I think they did shape my perspective on the world in a lot of ways, specifically The English Patient. That was a complicated love story, and I wonder sometimes how much it's affected my psychology.”

Some sons rebel; others resemble. Minghella’s co-star O-T Fagbenle, who plays June’s other lover from before the time of Gilead, got his first job acting in Anthony Minghella’s romantic crime film Breaking and Entering. “Anthony is one the kindest, most beautiful men that I've ever had the privilege of working with before,” Fagbenle says. “And Max has his gorgeous, sensitive, open-minded soul.”

Though Minghella spent his childhood on the set of The Talented Mr. Ripley, playing an uncredited Confederate soldier role in Cold Mountain, and tooling around with a Super-8 camera Matt Damon gave him, he insists his upbringing was normal. He grew up in South Hill Park overlooking Hampstead Heath in London with his father and mother, the choreographer Carolyn Choa. (Minghella also has a half-sister, Hannah Minghella, who is now a film executive.) Yes, technically, it was London, but that’s not how it seemed. “I feel like I grew up in a very small town. Every school I went to was in Hampstead. I was born in Hampstead,” Minghella says of the small map dot of his life before university. “When I went to New York, I felt I was going to the big city.”

Despite his illustrious surname, movie-watching was far from restricted to the classics. “Beverly Hills Cop is definitely the movie I remember having an unhealthy obsession with. I think I saw it when I was 5 for the first time, and I'd watch it just two or three times a day for years. I'm just obsessed with it.”

Plenty of actors can trace their love of movies back to a love of stories, but for Minghella the relationship seems to flow in reverse. When he left for Columbia University, Minghella opted to study history for its connection, through storytelling, to film. It was during the summers between his years of college that he started taking acting more seriously. Before his graduation, he’d already appeared in Syriana, starring Damon and George Clooney. Soon, he’d make a splash as Divya Narendra in The Social Network in 2010 and be cast in Clooney’s Ides of March. As all young actors eventually must, Minghella moved to Los Angeles.

It’s been over a decade since he last lived on the Heath, but, perhaps unusually for a person who’s chosen his profession, Minghella is adamantly not a “shapeshifter,” in his words. Home for Christmas this year, he started sifting through old journals stored at his mother’s house, “just like scraps of writing from when I was extremely young up through my teenage years,” before coming to America. “It was hilarious to me,” Minghella says of staring at his childhood reflection. “My review of a movie at 7 years old is pretty much what my review of a movie at 35 will be. My taste hasn't changed much. And when I sort of love something, I do tend to continue to love it.”

Which brings us back to his enduring love of romance, born of his bloodline, which is all over Minghella’s own 2018 directorial debut. Teen Spirit is a hazily lit film about a teenage girl from the Isle of Wight — the remote British island where Max’s father Anthony was born — who enters a local X-Factor-style singing competition. (It stars Minghella’s rumored girlfriend of several years, Elle Fanning.) The story is small, but its crescendos are epic.

Minghella calls the movie — an ode to the power of the pop anthem — “embarrassingly Max.” Max loves a good music-driven movie trailer — he’s watched the one for Top Gun: Maverick “many” times. And Max loves the rhythmic beats of sports movies like Friday Night Lights. Max loves movies with excesses of female energy, like Spring Breakers. He likens Teen Spirit to an experiment, his answer to the question, “Can I take all these things that I love and find a structure that can hold them?” The result is a touching “hodgepodge” of Minghella’s fascinations, inspired by the songs from another thing he loves: Robyn’s 2010 album Body Talk (itself a dance-pop meditation on love).

Minghella hasn’t directed any films since, but he sees now how making movies fits his personality — organized, impatient — more organically than starring in them does. Directing also helped him to appreciate that acting is “much harder than I was giving it credit for,” which, in turn, has made him like it more. Besides The Handmaid’s Tale currently airing on Hulu, Minghella appears in Spiral, the ninth installment in the Saw horror franchise and, from where I’m sitting, at least, a departure.

“I do like horror movies, but the thing that was really kind of magical is that I was feeling so nostalgic, right? We talked about Beverly Hills Cop earlier. I was just missing a certain kind of movie,” Minghella explains of his new role as Chris Rock’s detective partner. He was yearning for simple story-telling, like in the buddy cop movies of his youth, especially 48 Hours. It almost goes without saying that a buddy cop movie is another kind of love story. “And then I read the script and it was very much in that vein.” He clarifies: “I mean, it's also extremely Saw. It's very much a horror movie.”

His renewed excitement for acting translated onto The Handmaid’s Tale set, too. Veteran Hollywood producer Warren Littlefield describes casting Minghella in the role of Nick as an effortless choice: “Sometimes you agonize over things. [Casting Minghella] was instantly clear to me, and everyone agreed.” Now in its fourth season, the tone of the Hulu hit is graver than ever. Gilead is more desperate to maintain its rule, and so more audacious in its violence. Perhaps it’s fitting that the show’s romantic gestures finally match that scale.

In one particularly soaring moment, Elisabeth Moss’ June and Minghella’s Nick meet at the center of a bridge and crush into a long kiss. It’s been two seasons since they held their newborn daughter together, and it’s hard to see how this isn’t their last goodbye. Littlefield, like Minghella, is here for the romance among the rubble. “It's spectacular when they come together. In the middle of all of the trauma is this epic love story,” he says. “Max is just magnificent in the role.”

For Minghella, the satisfaction is more personal. He works with good people, he likes his scenes, and he thinks Nick is a complex character. Minghella read The Handmaid’s Tale for the first time in college in 2005. Like all the things Minghella has ever liked, he still likes it. He’s as proud of this most recent season as he is the show’s first. And he watched Nick and June race recklessly back to each other across the expanse of the screen exactly how you might expect. “I watched it like a fan girl.”

[neonacity]

Chapter 4: Crescendo

Preview:

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

An NCT mafia AU with OT23. Summary: Working for the mafia comes with many layers. There’s excitement, violence, loss, and betrayals. Yet there’s also friendship, family, loyalty, and code. The last thing it needs? Love and all the complexities it brings.

TW: violence, death, mentions of drugs and other illegal activities. If you’re uncomfortable with any of these, feel free to skip. Author’s note: This is purely a work of fiction. In no way am I supporting all the illegal activities and behaviors that might be mentioned in the story nor am I implying that any member of NCT acts whichever way I may write them here--they’re all sweetiepies that need to be protected!

Chapter: 1/ First Stage

Chapter: 2/Overture

Chapter: 3/The Conductor

"What did Kun say?" Doyoung's eyes followed Taeyong as he strode back to the room. Fourteen heads peered at him curiously as he silently slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

"The announcement was also blasted to them. WayV are also considered as candidates."

"And…?" Yuta asked slowly, urging him to continue. 

"They said they won't participate."

A collective round of sighs echoed around the room. I slumped back on my seat in relief despite knowing this doesn't entirely solve the problem. Not even a few heartbeats after and a stillness settled over the crowd of men again, not a single soul wanting to bring up the elephant in the room. 

Finally, a boy with almond-shaped eyes spoke up from his seat by the stairs. The vulnerable look on his face made the fact that he was the one asking the question much worse. 

"And us…? Nobody is going to participate from us, right?" Jungwoo asked with a hopeful tone as his eyes scanned over the room. Nobody made a sound at first until Taeyong finally sighed and decided to speak out again. 

"I can't really speak for all of us. I understand how heavy and important the situation is. Being the Don...is a very big deal. I wouldn't take it against anyone here if someone wants to give it a try," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Taeyong, you know if you do want to give it a go, 127 will back you—" 

"I'm not planning on it, Taeil-hyung," he politely, but firmly interjected before the eldest of the group could even finish. 

The current stand of the group didn't really surprise me that much. Each member of NCT are ranked as capos, the generals of a crime family—with everyone managing a small cluster of lower-tier soldiers and associates—but each sub-group has their own internal ranking as separate units. Taeyong and Kun are currently the de facto leaders of 127 and WayV, while the responsibility is shared between Jeno and Mark for Dream. 

"How about Dream?" Doyoung decided to ask the youngest of the crew. Jeno and Mark exchanged glances before the latter finally spoke up. 

"We're not planning on it either," Mark replied, speaking for his group. 

"Yeah, Chenle and Jisung can barely remember to eat three times a day, imagine them trying to be a Don," Renjun added, though his usual snark and sass was a little bit dulled this time. 

"I just don't understand what is happening," Doyoung said in frustration, crossing his arms over his chest. "So there is a need for a new head, but why make it a competition? Couldn't they just pick candidates and choose? It's not really like freedom of choice is a thing here."

"I think this is the first time that a Don blatantly waived the code, too," Johnny added as he leaned back against the stairs. "It's like they're inviting us to kill each other."

"But we won't, right? We won't do that," Jungwoo asked again, his eyes wide. Taeyong noticed the panic in his voice and he reached out to him to squeeze his shoulder. 

"Of course, Jungwoo. There won't be any problems with us."

"Well, if none of us are participating, I guess we won't have any problems. They'll have to think of other ways to choose the new Don," Haechan said from his seat by the floor. The rest murmured their relief in response.

"That doesn’t solve anything." For the first time since the meeting ended, I found my voice again. Everyone turned to look at me, probably surprised by my presence after being so quiet for so long. My throat felt dry, but I pushed myself to speak. 

"The position is open to anyone. Soldiers, associates, everyone, including the underlings you manage." Slowly, my eyes lifted to meet some of the confused faces as my words started to sink in. "Even Cypher."

The mention of the name itself made some faces in the crowd go stone cold. While NCT is considered the most influential within the family, it is not the only organized group in the brotherhood. It has always been the ruling steel hand over Seoul, but Cypher acts as their counterpart, reigning over Busan. Of course, just like any dysfunctional family, competition runs high between the two groups. Cypher, in particular, has always been after NCT out of plain, egotistic jealousy. In fact, the rivalry runs so high and tense that everyone knows the only reason the two groups haven't tried to blatantly kill each other yet was because of the code of loyalty and honor the family followed. 

And now even that is gone.

"Maybe we should talk to Jihoon…" Jaehyun suggested, though his tone clearly shows his aversion towards the idea.

"There is no way I will talk to that asshole," Taeyong interjected, his voice barely concealing venom. He turned around in frustration and ran a hand through his face. "Fuck. We have to think this over."

I silently watched everyone from my seat, my stomach tied in knots. I felt like death, especially after my eyes ran over the young faces of the kids who will surely get caught in the crossfire once shit starts to hit the fan. He did this on purpose...the Don. Like the calculating, manipulative man he is, he set-up a stage to force everyone to fall into the roles he expected them to play. He knew that a neutral invite for anyone to prove their worth wouldn't stop at just people playing nice. With the code gone, everyone is also free to get rid of potential competition. 

As if having enemies outside is not enough, he has now opened the possibility of a bloodbath inside the family itself. 

"...to prepare." My attention snapped back to Taeyong as he addressed the group. "Watch your backs especially when dealing with your soldiers and associates. I'm sure there will be more than a handful who will be after our necks."

"As for Cypher…" his eyes moved towards me and I met his gaze, already knowing what he will say next. "Can you help us track their movements? You'll be our first line of defense," he asked, almost sounding apologetic about it. I tried giving him a firm nod despite my stomach feeling hollow. This is the least I can do. 

"Of course."

He finally managed a small smile before turning towards the others again. "Good. Right now, we really can't do anything but trust each other."

--

A/N: This is super short since I’m running a bit low on creative juice lol but Chapter 5 is on the works!

Chapter 5: Canzona

[lovehugsandcandy]

the stories we tell (and the stories we live) (Coltx MC, RoD)

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: ~2400 words

Rating/Warnings: N*FW (Not explicit but it’s there. And swearing.)

Summary: Colt’s story isn’t his own until it is.

.

When Colt thinks of stories, he thinks of the stories of his youth, hazy memories of sitting on his father’s lap and listening to tales of Kanekos past. He thinks of scenes from movies, car chases and explosions before the guaranteed victory, ending scenes and credits rolling with the hero beating the odds and riding off victorious into the sunset.

And then he gets older. 

And learns that stories are myths, hiding lies and false promises, wrapped in the guise of happy endings that will never happen.

Not to him.

And when he thinks of stories, he tries not to think of his own.

And when he does, when he thinks of the story of Colt and crew and the Kaneko name, he can’t of the beginning. 

It hurts too much to remember a time when he was a welcome fixture at the shop, when Pop greeted him with a smile, sometimes even a pat to his head. This was before, before those hands became angry and harsh, before the smiles turned to glares, before the words turned hateful and vicious, echoing the nightmares that creep into his sleep, shocking him awake in a cold sweat.

There are other stories, 

He steals his first car when he’s 11. It’s the first time he’s ever driven as well, the tips of his toes only able to graze the pedals when he leans against the steering wheel. It’s a massive effort to peer over the dash, to not press his scrawny chest on the horn, but he manages, denting only the bumper against an unlucky mailbox. But when he pulls into the garage, his father is more shocked than awed and his mother furious.

So he first leaves California when he’s 12, hustled onto his first airplane, deposited in an unfamiliar city with scabs lining his knuckles and a bruise blooming on his jawline, the first transition of many marking the flow between scenery and characters.

He’s first suspended when he’s 13. Everyone at this new school is despicable, but he’ll be damned if some upperclassman is going to throw slurs at him amidst a crowded hallway. He’s sent home, his opponent sent for stitches, and his mother spends five of her limited vacation days making his confinement as miserable as possible.

He first has sex in the dingy bathroom of a dive bar that obviously doesn’t care about liquor laws.

It’s a story he never tells. 

Stories are prideful things, lies portraying overcome odds and vanquished enemies until a triumphant, crescendoed victory. Curtains close on dreams attained.

His story has never gone like that and this memory is no different.

He’s 14, sipping something amber and toxic from a rocks glass because it makes him look cool, sitting alone as his knees knock against the stool because he hates everyone. His feet don’t even touch the ground yet, but it doesn’t seem to matter to the bartender, who keeps sliding booze across the slick bar top as long as the cash keeps coming from Colt’s pocket.

And apparently it doesn’t matter to the girl across the bar, all blond hair and glossy lips, pendant necklace dangling heavy above a low-cut shirt. She bats a heavy mascara gaze over her wineglass and it takes an embarrassingly long time before he recognizes the fire behind gaze.

His heart is racing when she perches on the stool next to him, and it’s with fumbling hands and drunken kisses that they weave a messy path to the bathroom.

Once they’re done, she buttons her jeans and smirks at him, waltzing out of the bathroom without a second glance.

It feels like a fitting end to his childhood, thrown from LA to end up staggering into the Bronx streets; his jeans are still unzipped but no one’s around to care as he turns the key in the empty apartment and sinks into freshly washed sheets.

If the saga of his childhood has ended (beginning as a worthy heir before being cast aside, thousands of miles away, lost boy and discarded son), then the story of his adulthood is beginning. Stories have beginnings and middles and ends, protagonists and supporting characters,  events when second matter, where every step taken leads towards a goal, an achievement of some sort.

He hasn’t achieved anything.

Not yet.

His mom gets off work at 3am, footsteps light as she makes her way to the adjoining bedroom. Once the light snores start, he creeps out of bed to spew stomach acid into the toilet, lights off, stifling the shameful hacking and choking.

He slips back into bed, mouthwash still tingling on his tongue, but sleep doesn’t come that night.

It doesn’t feel like a fortuitous beginning.

~~~~~

And then it doesn’t get better.

The fights continue.

He comes home weekly with bruised knuckles and wounded pride, counting the days until he can free himself from the cast of characters around him.

Every teacher treats him like an adversary, every stupid social clique shuns him, and it’s fucking bullshit but he doesn’t need anyone, none of these assholes at this fucking school. It’s him against the world, at least until he can get back to LA, back to the home and the legacy that belongs to him.

His mother wants everything from him. They’re alone, the two of them, and he falls into the role of trusted confidant and then wayward son and finally complete stranger; none of the roles he tries satisfy anyone in this fracturing family of two.

The girls want one thing from him and it’s so simple, so easy, and the best part is that he doesn’t have to think, just for a moment.

His dad wants nothing from him, and his teeth dig into his bottom lip so his sobs don’t echo through the thin apartment walls.

~~~~~

Stories come in chapters and his next one takes him to LA. It’s inevitable that he ends up here, speeding aimlessly through the crowded streets, ending up on the outskirts of a crowd that should part for him like the seas.

The first time he sees her, she looks like a baby hawk. Not that he’s ever seen a baby hawk, mind you, but her eyes peer sharply around the lot even though her steps are stuttering and small.

He would never have guessed that she would be more than a supporting character in his fateful return, but soon, she becomes everything. His mind is consumed with their future, ruling LA as a team, owning the next stage of the Kaneko legacy. Her insightful mind and sharp wit are both challenging and refreshing; it feels like he’s met his match.

His story is finally beginning.

But the pyre in front of him is actually the conclusion. Flames lick at his eyebrows as he drives by, staring into the wreckage for something, anything; her arms around his waist are the only thing keeping him upright.

And if his father’s explosion is the end, then the blaze at the garage is the epilogue, the wreckage a fitting end to the Kaneko legacy.

~~~~~

It takes years, four to be exact, before he’s comfortable taking a brief vacation. Building up the fledgling crew has been challenging and painstaking, but, brick by brittle brick, he has finally created a crew worthy of the Kaneko name. 

So he heads to New York. 

Colt cares about two people in the world and the irony of them being in the same city at the same time feels a little like choreographed coincidence and a little like fate.

He starts with his mother. She’s moved to Manhattan, and he needs to Google the route, feet almost taking him into the gritty streets he knows intimately well. He recalibrates off the train, unfamiliar buildings flying by as he crosses the East River and straight into her new setting and her new life. They walk through the tree-lined streets; she lives in Soho now and every step is strange. She leads him through farmers’ markets and points out breakfast joints, each one a reminder of how far away he is. As they amble, she speaks of her job before turning the conversation to Pop; his every reply is halting, pain and truth veiled through clipped words and terse responses, his hands buried in his pockets and shoulders hunched to his ears.

For two people who share a bloodline and a language, they’re incomprehensible to each other. Colt realizes, with sickening clarity, how much better his mom’s life is now, now that he’s gone and vanished across the country.

She holds him close outside her new apartment building (this one doesn’t have bars on the first-floor windows) and her eyes well with a sadness she can’t name (or won’t, Colt thinks bitterly, shifting on his heels in her embrace). Her hands linger on his shoulders, and she presses a lipstick kiss into his cheek; he furiously wipes it off as he strides to the subway.

His palms flash pomegranate pink as he swipes his pass.

Langston is eighteen stops uptown. It takes thirty minutes on the A train, and he’s wasting away every second, an eternity spent watching subway tiles and grim faces blur past.

He blends in with the crowd, rowdy college kids streaming into her dorm, and he sneaks up the stairs and raps lightly on the door. They barely talk but he’s immediately understood, her hands gentle under his jaw, up his shoulder blades, then insistent up his sides, gripping his forearms, tugging his hair.

She curls against him, the slide of her skin both foreign and reminiscent, and shakes her head. “I can’t believe you just showed up here. You’re lucky seniors get singles.”

“I can’t believe you let me in.”

“You thought I wouldn’t?”

“I guess I was cautiously optimistic.” He craned his neck to drop a kiss on the top of her head. “Guess I was right.”

She grabs his hand, tracing up and down each finger as if she were relearning every knuckle, every tiny scar. When her inspection is complete, she stills. “I waited for you.”

“What do you mean?” 

“For years I thought…” She trails off, and he wonders if they thought the same, that the other would reach out, bridge the miles and the trauma; he’s lost in the past until she curls over him and then there’s no time for thinking anymore.

They emerge the next morning, blinking away the sun, and she pulls him through her haunts, dragging him to the coffee shop where they know her order, her favorite path through the park.

She drags him with glee through the tourist traps and side haunts; they have beers at tiny dive bars, eat pretzels from rickety carts, and walk city blocks until his feet and cheeks hurt, hand in hand.

She glows here, radiantly beautiful, and he realizes that maybe she as well has been bolstered by his absence.

Even though it’s not Colt’s borough of choice, it’s hard not to feel comfortable as she pulls him down the packed streets, weaving through crowds with the same agility with which she wove through highway car chases. 

She’s at home here as she is behind the wheel, and something in his chest tightens. 

She belongs here, vibrant as the surrounding city, crafting her own story.

~~~~~

He needs to get back. 

Empires don’t build themselves.

He doesn’t tell her but, apparently, he doesn’t have to. It’s achingly slow as he slides into her, savoring every moment to remember when he’s back home, alone. She rolls her hips against his and it’s almost painful, blinding light flashing patterns behind his eyelids as she takes her pleasure from him, quivering above him until he can’t stand it, flipping her over in one fierce motion to bury himself, again and again, world dissolving with her squeal of pleasure in his ears and his teeth in her shoulder.

“I can’t ask you to come with me.”

She starts, head jerking off his shoulder, and he can’t bring himself to look into her eyes. Instead, he focuses on the assignments scrawled on her whiteboard, each one a reminder of a goal to attain, and the graduation cap askew on her desk, a reminder of the path she had chosen, her story told in the golden tassels dangling to the floor.

“You don’t need to ask.”

This time, it’s him jerking up, head spinning to face her. “What do you…?”

“I was coming anyway.” She settles back against him, and he counts the puffs of breath against his skin as reassurance that this is real. “I told you… I waited for you. I had a go bag packed for two years,” he feels her lips tug into a rueful smile against him as she continues, “a backpack stuffed in my closet with clothes and stuff, just in case you asked, just in case you called.”

“I called. Once.”

“Wha… when?”

“February of your sophomore year.” His hand slides up her back to tangle in her hair. “From a payphone in Torrance. It rang once, and I hung up. I couldn’t… I thought better of it. I couldn’t mess it up for you.”

“You don’t mess anything up for me. You help me be great. We’re gonna be great together.”

He springs two thousand bucks for an additional plane ticket and upgrades to first class. She points out the NY landmarks as they climb into the air and then curls against him as she dozes. They land at LAX, falling into bed in the loft at the shop, and, the next day, she climbs aboard the back of his bike, arms warm around him as they pull over to the cliff.

This isn’t a story.

Stories have heroes and villains and everything is tied up nearly at the end, when the evil is vanquished and the hero gets the girl and the sun rises on a brand new day when everyone lives happily ever after.

This isn’t a story.

It’s real life and real life has real people, all their virtues and flaws, hopes and dreams, and there are no storybook saviors riding in to save the day --- at least not in Colt’s life.

There’s only him and this girl and the sun setting brilliantly beneath the ocean below, lighting the cresting waves in purples and blues, and this isn’t the end, not at all.

.

Tags:

Perma

@leelee10898, @client-327, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @choicesarehard, @burnsoslow, @zaffrenotes, @kat-tia801, @desiree-pow-35-1986, @ritachacha

ROD

@omgjasminesimone, @mskaneko, @alyssalauren

Colt x MC

@flowerpowell, @shondideaira-blog @isometimesplaychoices @romewritingshop

[touchstarvedsam]

What they did to Sam and Dean was fucked up, some people say their relationship was irreparable, but they were there, they were actually so close to be winners, they had all the tools to overcome the trauma, they were set up, but at the end they were tosed aside like useless garbage, all for the sake of a new show, just so people like you would keep watching the "homoerotic brothers"

Poor Jared, stuck in the same bullshit all over again, no wonder Jensen run like hell away from them.

You’re so cute, I just wanna squeeze your face. I love that you’re one of those “Walker ads ruined the finale” people when they barely played any Walker ads during the finale but go off.

Have you been watching Supernatural? Like, more than just the episodes Mushy-pie was in? Did you not understand the show because you didn’t watch from season 1? You started at season 4? I get it, I know. Jared’s ship sinking tiddies scared a lot of people off. You heIIers predicted that his tiddies were going to make your ship obsolete just from watching the show via metas and manips on tumblr, so you ignored the 3 GOLDEN seasons in favor of a crusty rape/necrophilia ship because you didn’t need to see proof that Sam and Dean’s bond is the most important one in the show. It’s okay. Just say out loud that you enjoy rape, I’ll wait.

Supernatural was about, wait for it, two brothers. Shocking, I know. It is the ONLY thing that kept the show going, kept general viewers tuning in, because of, dare I say it? Jared and Jensen’s chemistry. The general viewers liked how campy it was, how exciting, and how it had the significant lack of romance. There isn’t enough media out there that doesn’t have romance, so Supernatural was a rare golden thread in a haystack.

If you paid attention to, I don’t know, at least the past season, you’d see that Sam and Dean’s lives were dictated by Chuck. As per The Hero’s Journey, we learned that they were pretty much invincible because of Chuck, and as of 15.19, Chuck was no longer writing their story, no longer protecting them. After that, Sam and Dean wrote their own story. So Dean died a normal way that he wouldn’t originally have died because he didn’t have have God himself laughing at him, hoping for a crescendo type ending instead of something that was a freak accident.

Sure, Dean dying so soon sucked, and that Sam had to live on without him, but they didn’t do that because of Walker, you nasty glass of curdled milk. They chose the ending that would give them the most peace. Because Dean wasn’t going to hang it up willingly, and Sam has said he’d follow his brother. So they’d hunt until they’re old, never finding peace as long as there’s work to do. And if the writers chose for Sam to die, well, don’t you realize Dean would have gone and done a two-person hunt by himself with the intention of dying as quick as possible? Dean was not going to live with Sam dead, he has literally said that. In canon. So I don’t know what you’re even going on about, young heIIer, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t know what show you’ve been watching.

Were you aware that Walker didn’t end the show, Jared and Jensen chose to end it? They didn’t end Supernatural that way for Walker, you stale end piece of white bread. Jensen didn’t run away either. He has said he’d love to direct Walker, work with Jared again. The man has nothing against The CW. He has a freaking production company owned by The CW and WB. So how, exactly, would you consider that running? He took the next gig available, and it just so happened it was a superhero gig, when Jensen has been trying for years to be in a superhero show. And Jared has control with Walker, do you know that? He’s an executive producer. He has the power to make sure nobody gets sidelined the way Sam did in Supernatural.

Those writers fucked Jared over far too many times -- so has the makeup team, let’s be real -- which was why he wanted to produce instead of act. But he fell in love with Cordell Walker, and he loved that the show was filming so close to home. So he took the role that was made for him, and now he actually is on a set that’s not toxic, with no asshole guest stars (so far anyway), with so many positive and respectful people around him, and he looks so much better now, happier. So you can fuck right off with your “poor Jared,” because Walker is the best thing that’s happened to him in a long time.