#to the one person who said the open answers would be a bitch to organize

[lunarrosette]

Survey Results Finally!!!

Ok! So before the whole breakdown I wanna address a couple biases and shit. So I posted this on tumblr and on a couple dndads discord servers I'm in, notably the patreon server, both of these almost definitely caused some bias in stats particularly in patreon subscription and most used social media to engage with. That said it could have been posted elsewhere (which I’m totally fine with and actively encourage the bigger and more diverse the sample is the better) but I only posted there because I wanted to minimize potential non-fans taking it and I don’t have a twitter. I also added the question of whether you have relistened and your race, ethnicity, and nationality later (as it was suggested and i thought it was a good addition) so the sample is not the full amount of people who took this survey and is smaller than other question therefore less conclusive of the dndads fanbase as a whole.

I got a total of 142 responses (and the survey is still open) so let break down all that

There were 65 questions in total, while I’m not going to break down every single one I will break down most of them

Majority listen on spotify with patreon coming in a close second, the small individual answers are a mix of a combination of two or more platforms or platforms i forgot to add/didn’t know existed

A little over half of the fandom is apart of the patreon but still remember that there is a bias in this question because of where i sent the survey

Majority of the patreon is subscribed to the EX-L level (like me!!) with EX in a pretty close second (other is apart of EX because i forgot what is was call when I first made it)

Ron comes in a very close 1st between him and henry for favorite season 1 dad

Grant takes 1st in another pretty close one between him and terry for season 1 son and surprisingly Nick Foster actually got votes! (/j)

Scam likely with quite the lead as a fan favorite NPC

Now favorite episode was one I had to track separately because I set it as a free response but her are the top 4 favorites:

In 4th with 13 votes Episode 42 Henry’s Father and the Chamber of Secrets In 3rd with 16 votes Episode 56 S.W.A.P. (SWitched Ass Papas) In 2nd with 17 votes Episode 44 Deck Picks In 1st with 23 votes Episode 61 Death of a Salesman

Normal with fan favorite season 2 PC with almost half of the fandom

Terry Jr (surprising to me I love him but ig it's the silent majority cause i never see much about him) is first place

Very unsurprisingly hermie the unworthy for 1st place, bitches love this gay theatre kid but it is a little surprising the amount of a lead he has

Another one I had to by hand but the top 4 favorite season 2 episodes are

In 4th place with 5 votes, a 4 way tie between: Episode 22 Army of Tree, Episode 4 Barf Bum Movie Men, Episode 12 Scary Movie 2, and Episode 9 Debate Me Cowards

In 3rd place with 6 votes, Episode 5 Dance Dance Revelations (surprising to me as it’s not the part of the dance with Lark and Sparrow and Normal’s crisis)

In 2nd place with 8 votes, Episode 11 That thing? You Dude

Unsurprisingly in 1st place, the episode that I’ve heard some people say is one of the best episodes of Dungeons and Daddies, with 50 votes, Episode 23 Alright

Ron takes overall favorite

Hermie surpasses (one of) his father for favorite NPC

Jodie wins as the guest PC, which kinda surprises me

Oakworthy wins as the most popular ship, most of the thin slices are variations of “I don’t ship” and some less talked about ships

The majority of fans don't have a preference between season 1 or 2

At the Mountains of Dadness is the most popular piece of bonus content

The majority of the fandom have relistened to the podcast

The subject of Jodie, almost everyone liked how Jimmy played him but the views on his character are a little different. Many poll takers said he grew on them and the majority of the fandom seems to feel neutral to positive to him. A lot of people said he was a good narrative foil to Glenn (I agree!!) and that he’s “funny as fuck” (i also agree) however some people also voiced dislike him do to messing up the timeline, being a cop, messing up Nick’s character, and just the plotline he was apart of. Lots of ACAB in the responses.

Lots of funny responses on this one:

Asexual bitches and queer bitches love dungeons and daddies (I'm an asexual bitch myself) there was a whole one (1) fully cis het allo survey taker.

The fanbase skews pretty heavily to the younger side with the majority of the fandom being 18-25 and a huge majority if you just look at it as 25 and under.

Non-binary bitches love dungeons and daddies (I’m a non-binary bitch as well)

Huge majority of fans are neurodivergent with most thin results being a variation of “I don’t know, somethings probably wrong up there”

Anxious bitches love dungeons and daddies (i am an anxious bitch)

Majority of people who responded are white, however this question was implemented later and only has 62 responses.

Most fans got into dungeons and daddies from word of mouth, typically from friends or mutuals online

Relationships with fathers are mixed. A decent amount say good, some say bad, but a lot can be put as complicated. A good amount of people used parallels from dungeons and daddies most often grant and darryl.

Your dads cool as fuck

Relationships with moms are also mixed, but a little more drastic(?). The positives are generally stronger but the negatives are also more negative.

Most sibling relationships are good! However there were a decent amount of responses stating the relationship was distant

Majority of fans are from america but there's a good variety from all over.

Majority of the fandom interacts through tumblr (this still is one with bias)

Majority of fans say their experience with the fandom has been very good

Majority of fans make some for of fan content

Oaks are very big on the fandoms kin lists, especially normal

Most common fandoms: NADPOD TAZ D20 TOH MCYT/Minecraft DHMIS OFMD PJO TMA

Most common past fandoms: Danganronpa Sanders Sides TMA MCYT/minecraft Homestuck TAZ Voltron FNAF Theatre Cartoons (ex. Gravity falls, infinity train, TOH, ect.) Undertale Harry potter PJO

Fave fan creators: ajaystillblue Kineticallyanywhere Braindos Nick-close Awnrii Critdeeznuts Nolassolace Cerealforkart Tortelliniboi Oddkid on Ao3 Midnigtartist SandrC Submergedmemory Koszmarnybudyn Harveydoesart Roolt Coolestclowns Blu3boi Nojaloarts Sapphicx Mrslikely Almondcroissantsandink

Popular headcanons: t4t henry and mercedes Trans nick Generally gender queer/gnc oaks Season 2 teens autistic Ron autistic Basically all the season 1 sons dated each other at one point (queer friend group moment) Taylor uses mobility aids (notably a cane) Bi ron

Specific headcanons I really like (if any of these are your feel free to reblog as to claim them) I think Samantha likes to dress very colorfully while Ron is on the plain side, except when she gifts him an accessory that is just as colorful as she is, and while it clashes w/ the rest of his wardrobe he treasures it because he loves her lots Walter owns chickens and he grows herbs around their pen as a natural pest repellent Glenn is a sex-favorable asexual The shortest one I can fit here is that Glenn has a lot of stick n poke tattoos that are all made by Morgan (which disappeared after the verdict) and lark has bpd Yeets skateboard is a prosthetic Terry is the only son to go to therapy AROACE SPARROW <333 Hermie rights in Cursive like an asswhole Jewish Terry Jr and Samantha

Cats are by far the favorite animal in the dndads fandom with 35 votes

And the top three favorite colors are Blue with 23 votes Purple with 30 votes Green with 39 votes

Most common recs The Magnus Archives TAZ NADPOD Just Roll With It Self care (hydrate, sleep, take care of yourself) Mob Psycho Bears in Trees Malevolent Dndads fanfics (on ao3) OFMD WWDITS Will wood Ride the cyclone The Crane Wives

Oddly specific recs

[moonydustx]

okay i take a medicine that if i don’t take i turn into a raging bitch and i just want to know how pedro would react if you forgot to take it and you are being mean to him without trying and at first he takes it to heart but then it dawns on him that you only act like that when you don’t take it ❤️ also i LOVE your writing so much it’s so good!!

Thank you very much for the request, I really hope you like it. I can really visualize Pedro as not only a very understanding person, but also the type of person who supports and accompanies your every need. Sorry for possible errors. ❤️

Bad day

Summary: Whose genius idea was it to leave a thousand problems to solve all at once? Or when a bad day makes you and your love realize that there is a small piece missing.

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader

Warnings: arguments and more arguments but with a fluff and happy ending. very brief mention of sex. reader takes medication. mentions the reader working in the fashion industry.

WC: 1.3k

requests | masterlist

You really didn't expect to wake up with the sun shining in your face. It wasn't normal for the sun to appear at five in the morning. You fumbled for your cell phone and felt your soul practically leaving your body when you saw the display showing that it was eleven in the morning. Shit, you were late.

Not paying much attention to being alone in the room, you rolled out of bed and straight into the shower, bathing yourself as quickly as you could. It was difficult trying to concentrate your body on getting ready while your mind thought about the delay, the models you needed to pick up, your appointment time, all the other problems in the universe. A lot of things, little time.

You stuffed everything you needed into your backpack and wearing the first clothes you found - which would probably make you lose your job at the studio - you descended the stairs like a hurricane.

"Good morning babe." You heard it from the kitchen and responded, not realizing that the answer had only remained in your mind.

Meeting, sketches, consultation. Who had the great idea of ​​scheduling everything for just one Saturday? As you ran from one destination to another, you felt your cell phone vibrate.

"Hey love." Pedro's voice echoed.

"Hey." you said dejectedly, while dodging some people on the sidewalk. "Something happened?"

"I wanted to know if everything is okay? You left, didn't talk to me, didn't even say good morning."

"I didn't answer?"

"Baby, you just flew through the living room door." you were sure you had answered. His voice sounded understanding at least.

"I'm sure... Anyway, is that all there is to it? I'm super busy right now."

"Okay, shall we talk later?" he asked and only an "Okay" left your lips.

As soon as the call ended, an avalanche of thoughts emerged. That would be a busy day and you still had material to deliver today.

The sun was already starting to set when you stopped in front of the door of your house. From your house. Despite having spent the day outside, there were still issues to be resolved, which already left your blood boiling.

When you open the door, you can find Pedro lying on the sofa, busy with something on his cell phone.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he set the device aside, giving you his full attention. "I almost didn't see you today."

"Everything's fine, just a lot of stuff to sort out. The fall show is coming up and there's still stuff to produce." you indicated the huge folder in your hand.

Without paying much more attention, you went to your office and dumped the folder under the table and began to organize some ready-made sketches, others still in the beginning.

"Did you eat today? I can make you something if you want." Pedro's requesting voice caught your attention. He was leaning against the door, analyzing you.

"I do not need it, thank you."

"Why do I get the feeling that something is wrong?" he asked, entering the room and dodging some scattered fabrics. "Is really everthing fine?"

"Yes." you replied halfheartedly, trying to refocus.

"Julia asked me to remind you to make an appointment with her." he warned, pulling practically the last thread of concentration that existed in you. "She wants to make sure everything looks right with her party dress."

"Yes. Remind her that we both have the same training, the same knowledge and I don't need her to be a babysitter about my choices." The words almost involuntarily left your lips. A small inner voice screamed at you have you gone crazy?

"What the...I'm tired, what the hell is happening to you today?" Pedro seemed indignant and there was some side inside you that wouldn't take away his reason.

"I need time and space to do my things. I'm sorry if I can't give my full attention to Julia or whatever, if I forgot to reply to your good morning today." your voice rose a few tones.

Pedro's face showed that it wouldn't end well. The voice in your mind was already begging you please shut up.

"Not everything is about you or the sudden lack of manners you decided to have."

"Pedro, I really don't want to talk about this right now. I'm full of work."

"You really don't want to talk about this, do you? You really don't want to talk about shit today!"

You tried to ignore the harsh tone of voice he had, one you weren't used to hearing. You thought about retorting, about asking for a little space, but you didn't understand what was going on in your own mind. You just watched him leave towards the room, while looking at your drawings again.

You tried to create, you tried to work but it seemed impossible. Some piece didn't fit, some piece was lost and your brain seemed even more lost, unable to find it.

What took you away from the focus you were trying to have on the pile of papers in front of you was a small noise a few centimeters away, right after another similar noise. You could feel the presence of Pedro, who remained just a few seconds behind you in silence, leaving you alone and without time to respond. When you looked up, the first thing you found was a glass full of water, next to your little pot of pills. Shit.

Since the name of the medicine was written in huge letters, the only thing you could read there was Guilty. That explained a lot about your day.

You turned the bottle of pills over in your hand, taking the necessary amount and let the weight on your conscience lay you down on the papers and wait a few minutes.

You could feel the effect take over your body, your mind, which was previously a mess, seemed to organize all the thousand problems into small folders, your vision was clearer than it had been at any point that day. There was a problem marked as a priority in your mind.

You went up the stairs and found Pedro concentrated, choosing a t-shirt to wear. His wet hair and the steam coming from the bathroom indicated that he had recently gotten out of the shower. Before he could see you, your arms wrapped around his waist and your face rested on his back.

"I'm sorry about today, I've been a jerk all day." your voice was muffled by the strength you used in the hug. "I don't want to blame the medicine, but I forgot about it today."

"It's okay, my love. I think I went a little too far too" he turned around, returning the hug you were giving him. His hands were lost in your hair, your face now resting on his chest. "Tough days, huh?"

"The closer it gets to the day of the fashion show, the more anxious I get." You pulled away to face him. "How did you know it was the medicine?"

"You always forget it in the sink, next to my shampoo, which I always forget too. Today I saw that my shampoo was missing its favorite companion. Besides, I like to keep an eye on you, young lady." He laughed, caressing your face. Your guilty look made it clear that everything wasn't okay. "Hey, it's okay to forget, besides, fights happen."

"It's not okay for me to be a complaining bitch."

"I understand, with so much going on, but one bad day isn't going to make me love you less."

"How can I thank you for this? Or, I don't know, apologize."

"A dinner, a wine..." he said in a suggestive tone, eliciting a light laugh from you.

"Really? That's all?"

"I mean, they say make-up sex is some of the best." His lips went down to your neck, but only placing a chaste kiss. "I'm kidding darling, you need a break, you need to lay that pretty little head of yours to rest."

"I just need you."

"Lucky for you, a shot of Pedro always goes well with wine." He laughed, quickly taking your lips to his. "I love you, mi vida"

[psychoforanime]

[Megumi Fushiguro & Fem!Y/n]

Warnings: None. It's kind cute.

_______________________________________

It has been a while since the new student made it to Jujutsu school in Tokyo. She left a huge mark on everyone despite the short period. Nobara and Yuji fell in love with her the munite they met. They found her big, curly hair fascinating and stylish. Not to mention her style, at the airport, They were staring at her, thinking she was a model before she approached them introducing herself as the new student, and it took them awhile to comprehend that. They immediately became bestfriends.

Megumi don't hate her either, He respected her chill and kind personality. Especially after seeing her, laugh off Yuji and Nobara rude ass questions such as 'You are an African? if yes why are you white?' or 'How your hair stays up like that throughout the day?' Rude much? but they meant no harm, They were genuinely curious, and She knew that, and that's why she laughed and answered every question thoroughly. She didn't need too but She did. He admired that.

Gojo tho admired her for a whole different reason, To be fair, She may not leave a good mark on everyone. The way Y/n lashed out at Yoshinobu Gakuganji once for not respecting Ijichi shocked everyone. She reminded everyone that she was not japanese and that she didn't grow up respecting the elderly. Rather, she respected who deserves to be respected. To her, ijichi deserved more respect than Yoshinobu or the higher-ups ever deserved it. Let's not forget the fact that quote on quote said,'Higher-ups ? I don't respect bitchs who don't show their faces on battle fields' she was ready to fight Yoshinobu, cursed energy going through her body and blood lust, fulling the room. Gojo somehow managed to calm the situation, but the amount of respect Y/n gained wasn't something anyone can control. She was feisty and crazy enough not to think twice about fighting the higher-ups herself or anyone in that matter, keeping everyone on their toes.

That's why, when shit went down the hill in this mission, nobody doubted Y/n capability to keep up until the backup appears. Her ability was more or less simple, Teleportation. Her mind, It's her mind that scared everyone. She made a simple teleportation which supposedly trivial, at best, a 3th grade technique to 1st grade technique: instead of learning how to save up energy to teleport more people if needed and staying at that like everyone on her clan did, First, She learned how to change the teleportation technique to something similar to resizing technique and teleport a object or person to a bigger or smaller size to either blow or squish them. She also learned to transport organs, eventually leading to learning to transport cursed energy too, so instead of saving up cursed energy, she uses the enemy's energy against them. The only problem is that she has to touch the person or the object or the place to teleport it, from or to it.

With that much said, it was supposed to be a simple mission to capture a curse user and bring them back. after being surrounded, The damned old man made a pack with the heavens in exchange for his soul to open up portals and let 300 1st grade curses out and about. Who would fucking do that?! No-one had much time to think before screaming started, Y/n quickly teleported the other 3 with her out side of the mess along with her. She quickly found her way back now that her back is clear and the others are safe, She can think properly.

By the time, back-up appeared, Y/n have killed 60 of them. Thanks to her using the enemy's energy instead of her own she wasn't showing any hints of weakness. Soon enough, Kyoto's , Tokyo's and other sorcerers appeared to help. Unfortunately for Y/n the less enemy's the less powers she have. So by the time they ended the 300, and the Portals were showing the hints of blowing up. Y/n and eveyone around her was barely able to move.

"Where's that fucking blindfolded guy when he's needed?" Y/n whispered before transporting everyone away,herself excluded, with the last bit of her curse energy. She bearly was able to run toward megumi, who was also too beaten and too shocked to move. 'Damn it, I should have marked him when I had the chance.' The girl thought, regretting her life choices for once in her life. A white-haired man appeared out of nowhere front of the crowd watching his two students finding their way towards them with seconds left to the explosion, He held his hand up ready to help till he felt it.

He watched as the whole place exploded, blasting wind towards them. "Why.." The black-haired kid asked turning to Y/n. She was able to sense Gojo in time to use his curse energy, it was Gojo who joked that he will safe her life if she marked him just in case which Actually safed her. 'He knew' that all she can think right now. Before turning to Mrgumi, He had his arm around her shoulder and her arm around his terso helping him standing, their faces close enough to feel each other's breaths, she shook her head smiling,, shaking all of the thoughts aways. She just glad they made it. Looking at his sparkly eyes, "You haven't fucked me yet, can't let you die" she laughed making the boy flush bright red, his eyes wide open before turning his face away. Gaining hair ruffle from Gojo and cheeky "I told you, you are popular among the girls", "Shut up!" Megumi whispered, gaining another laugh from Gojo and Y/n together. They sure love to torture him.

After that accident, Megumi been flushing alot around Y/n. Now, those words are the only thing the poor boy can think of. 'Was she serious?'

_______________________________________

This draft, I'm still not posting anything new because of exams tho. Sorry. Hope You enjoyed. DM/Comment ideas or something if u enjoy and want more. Any support is appreciated 💯 🙏 .

[call-boy]

This one girl was in with her bearded dragon that may have already been dead so i ran out to the lobby with the Doppler to do a life check the second she came in and she was like can you please not do that in the lobby? And I was like ok… you said your pet may be dead?? But follow me to a room immediately and then did the life check in the room. It was 100% dead and definitely died like either during the 1.5 hour drive she had to the hospital bc we’re the only exotic animal hospital in many miles that’s open full hours but also actually decent that’s open on Saturdays smh… she was heartbroken and was so emotional and not realizing how her energy was coming off at first but was totally understandable considering the situation until I started talking to her more and getting more info about the dragon, she got so much kinder and explained that it was her first ever pet and she’s just processing the mourning and loss of life for the first time, so was really empathetic to her especially bc she got it to a double digit age as a first time pet and first time reptile owner which is massively impressive tbh she really did try to find out what was wrong with it for months too and we didn’t have medical records from the other vets so we can’t verify what she did and didn’t do tbh. Story she told us was that she was taking her to a local vet near her that said they’d see exotics but clearly should not have been offering those services which is honestly so common in exotic animal medicine tbh she found a vet that was highly recommend on instagram but was 3 hours away, we know the doctor who owns it and she’s apparently that bitch, like she writes many of the reptile books that exotic veterinarians use for their own cases world wide, they did blood work and X-rays and the owner said they assumed it was fecal impaction/blockage situation, maybe even potentially a foreign object that the dragon swallowed? It was dead on arrival our first time meeting it so we asked if she wanted to do a necropsy for peace of mind/answers. And she said yes. When we cut that thing open… it had an enormous mass that had the dragon’s entire uterus, a kidney, and a large portion of the GI tract all fused and morphed into one disgusting ass vascular mess???? My doctor wants to send it out for biopsy, it’s obvi cancer at the bare minimum, but origins has to be uterine mass or renal mass… I’m personally leaning towards renal mass just bc it’s ovaries were completely normal?? Where like if this was a funky reproductive tract you’d likely see more potential reproductive issues like egg laying, follicles trapped in the abdomen? Idk it was bizarre but also was glad to tell the owner liek even if she had taken this thing to surgery yesterday, let alone a few months ago the size of this mass and the amount of organs it had fused to would have killed her just to even remove. My doctor was literally like if I had opened this during surgery and saw this I would have sewn her abdomen right back up and opted for euthanasia. All around sad situation but I was glad I was still able to give that owner like a good experience and some answers tbh I was like when you get through the mourning process plz get another exotic pet bc you clearly loved and cared for this dragon so so so well and we would love to see you back

[emeriethevalkyriegirl]

Totally Spies (Valkyrie) Chapter 11

@sunshinebingo @aelinchocolatelover

4 hours later

“Come on, Diana! Show those bad guys who’s boss!” Emerie cheered for the amazon princess while munching on popcorn.

The girls had taken advantage of their stay in the organization and turned their new dorm into their own personal hideout. After exploring their rooms, Gwyn suggested that they watch some TV while on their first day here. The guys have told them that they’ll call them down for training in a couple of hours. So, the girls changed into their workout outfits and proceed to kill some time.

Currently, the three girls have decided to watch Wonder Woman on HBO max. The girls were at the climax of the movie. Nesta was slurping up her half-empty soda, Gwyn was wincing at all the parts that involved punching or kicking, and Emerie was air-punching whenever Diana would start fighting. Emerie grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it in her mouth. “Told ya this movie was awesome.”

“I’m more of an MCU fan myself,” Nesta replied as Emerie gasped. “What! MCU!?” Nesta smirked. “Yep. Marvel is way better with their characters then DC.”

“At least DC doesn’t wait years for more Marvel content. They just work on the next episode for the next series instead of focusing on the movies.”

“Like Teen Titans Go?”

“....okay that reboot was a bitch, but STILL!”

As the two girls continued to playfully argue, Gwyn heard a faint knock at the door. “Hey guys, someone’s here.” she said as Emerie and Nesta stopped talking and looked at the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Tamlin.” The girls smiled and rushed to the door, eager to greet their friend. Nesta made it to the door first and swung it open. Tamlin was leaning on the edge of the door frame with a smug look on his face. “Hi, Tamlin.” Gwyn greeted as Tamlin gave her a look of shock, but it faded away quickly. “Nice to see you again. I was afraid I never would.”

“How come?” Emerie asked as Tamlin gulped and cleared his throat. “Oh, nothing. Cassian told me to come get you for training,” he replied pointing his thumb in the direction of the training gym. “You girls ready?” he asked as the girls nodded.

After grabbing their stuff from their rooms, the girls walked out of their dorm to follow Tamlin to the training center. “So, Tamlin it’s been a while since we’ve seen you,” Nesta said trying to start a conversation. Emerie butted in. “Yeah, how come we don’t see you as often as we do with Rhysand and his brothers?” Tamlin laughed nervously, rubbing his hand at the back of his head. “I...actually don’t work for Prythian.”

The girls stopped walking. “YOU DON’T!?” they exclaimed rather loudly. Luckily no one was around to hear them. Tamlin chuckled. “Nope. I live in Hewn City with my dad. Our organization is called Spring.” he explained as the girls looked at him with excitement. “So, they’re other organizations besides Prythian? How many are there?”

“I think about 6. Maybe 7.” Tamlin answered, trying to think back on his history of the organizations. “What’s it like there? At Spring?” Nesta asked. “Well, we have a pool, an all-day spa and saloon, a 24/7 open game room-”

“GAME ROOM!” Emerie shouted, practically jumping for joy. “Oh, I love video games.” she cried as Tamlin laughed. “You can come visit anytime if you want,” Tamlin suggested as the girls gasped. “Really?” Gwyn chimed. Tamlin nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, I can send you the-”

“Yo, Flower boy.” The conversation was now at an end. The girls and Tamlin turned around to find Cassian standing behind them. He wasn’t his usual annoying self. His tone was serious. Scary even. Cassian’s attention was on Tamlin. “I thought I told you to take them to the training center.” Tamlin frowned. “I was.”

“Didn’t look like it.” Cassian fired back, rolling his eyes. He turned his attention to the girls. “He’s not bothering you, is he?” Cassian suddenly asked him. Why would Tamlin be bothering them? They were friends. And why did Cassian even care? Nesta glared. “He was helping us. We’re fine,” she said, her change of tone feeling like a slap to the face. Cassian rubbed his nose with his index finger and thumb and sighed. “Whatever. Come on, you’re already 5 minutes late.”

---------------

“Are you sure this is necessary?” Gwyn asked nervously rubbing her arms together making it look like she was hugging herself. Once the girls said goodbye to Tamlin, they continued their way to the training center. This time, Cassian was going to teach them about their footwork even though they all insisted that they didn’t need it if all they were gonna do was punch a couple of guys.

So, Cassian decided to give the girls a demonstration on footwork. And Gwyn was going to help him. All she had to do was attack him with as much force as possible. But Gwyn felt sick to her stomach having to hit one of her friends. Well, Cassian wasn’t really a friend. More like a good person. She hasn’t known him for very long yet.

Cassian was looking down at her with his arms crossed, his expression laid with confusion but also impatience. “I’ll be fine Gwyn. All you gotta do is punch me.”

“But won’t it hurt?” Cassian was about to make a sarcastic remark about her not having the strength to knock him down but decided against thinking it would just make her cry. “That’s all part of training. Now dig deep and hit me as hard as you can.” Cassian replied. Gwyn gulped and curled her fingers into a fist, being mindful of leaving her thumb out of it.

“You can do it, Gwyn!” Gwyn heard Nesta cheer from the sidelines holding a thumbs up. Emerie jumped in the air and punched the air as she did back in the dorm. “Yeah! Kick his ass!” Inhaling, Gwyn raised her arm and threw her punch right for Cassian’s ribs.

Once the fist had collided with Cassian’s rib, Gwyn reeled her hand back and placed pressure on top of her hand. “Ouch! Why is your body so-” Gwyn didn’t have time to finish her sentence. One second, she was standing on her feet, the next she was on the ground, her back to the floor. She didn’t even realize Cassian had the upper hand until she was down.

Her friends stood in shock at their friend. “How did-? What did you do?!” Nesta cried out as Cassian stood up from tripping Gwyn. “I tripped her. It’s a basic move for your lower body strength. Best way to do it is when your opponent is distracted.” he explained holding out a hand to Gwyn. Gwyn gratefully accepted and walked back to her friends. “Another reason why I was able to trip your friend was her lack of footwork. If I recall correctly, Gwyn’s feet were standing so close together that they were practically touching.” Cassian added like it was that obvious.

“What I’m trying to say is, you need as much lower body strength as your upper body strength. You can’t have one without the other.” Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie looked at each other and back to Cassian. “So, how are we supposed to work on our lower body strength?” Emerie instantly regretted those words the moment they came out of her mouth. Smirking, Cassian brought out a thin TV remote and pressed one of the buttons.

Immediately, a giant ray gun appeared from the ceiling, aiming itself right at the girls. “Cardio test activated.” The gun said to them ready to fire. Nesta and Gwyn glared at their friend. “You had to open your big mouth.”

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Omg this was such a trip. I was hooked 😮

⚠️My usual disclaimer: nervous attempts at humour = my love language and the only way I know how to show appreciation for things I enjoy. Advance apologies for anything that might offend 😅

"This says humans are apes, but I thought we're related to monkeys. What's the difference? Aren’t those the same thing?"

Me rn:

Is this… a dumb question😳?? Would… my friend be a dumb person if they didn’t know the answer to this question? Also what is the answer to this question (asking for a friend)

He didn't realize she was having this much trouble grasping the most basic of concepts in the class.

Ok chill with the disdainful italics Einstein. Who died and made u Judge Judy?

Instead of worrying about simply seeing her breasts across the desk, Bucky now has to worry about feeling them as she leans to point at the text.

As I said in class, there'll be a map of Africa and a list of significant fossils.

I’d ace this test tbh🤓. Every good trainer knows most fossil Pokémon can be found on Cinnabar Island. Just make sure to bring a Lapras that knows whirlpool!!

He moves onto the next paper, wanting to finish grading tonight so he can hand them back tomorrow

Whoa whoa whoa, ur telling me he hand graded all the papers in one sitting and gave them back the next day?? I’ve literally had to wait WEEKS to get those bubble exams back that are marked by a computer 😭

Come the next day, Bucky sets the stack of graded papers on the back row

Cool, so everyone can just see everyone else’s mark hahahaha not embarrassing at all 😳

Bucky tries distracting himself – answering emails, planning lectures, researching

Oh so distracting himself means… doing his literal job? Lmao

“You’re a little late today. I was getting worried someone might have kidnapped you,”

*kill bill sirens going off* 🚨🚨🚨

While he’s rarely disappointed with his own work,

dude why can’t u have imposter syndrome like the rest of us smh

“I just… I studied so hard for that exam

Me, to myself after slacking off the whole semester and doing one hardcore all nighter the night before failing organic chemistry

Thus, he decides to take the respectful, professional, morally-upstanding road.

I mean, idk if choosing to not be predatory towards your students is “morally upstanding” behaviour… seems like, an unnecessary accolade he’s giving himself there but whatever lol

"I think you just need to keep studying hard and you'll eventually see the pay-off,"

Alexa, play

Sitting with her is truly the highlight of his Mondays and Wednesdays

Ok so someone obviously doesn’t watch WWE Monday night Raw. I’ll give him Wednesdays tho…Main Event is very meh and I don’t think AEW was a thing at this point

Checking his watch,

Lol ok boomer (haha jk no offence to anyone who wears a watch 😖 y’all can laugh at me when my phone dies in public and I lose all sense of reality)

Bucky couldn’t be happier. Not only is he proud of her academic improvements under his tutelage, but also the way he’s gotten her to blossom.

Why are dudes like this fr tho. Like, from Pinnochio to Pygmalian to Frankenstein’s monster… they’re just always like “look what I made!!! Look what happened because of ME!!! Who has two thumbs and can improve anything??? It’s ME!!” Bitch pls 🙄

But can you blame him?

Is this a rhetorical question or

The door opens before Bucky even has a chance to tell the person to enter.

Oh shit didn’t realize my mom was in this story😆 (seriously, why do parents even knock if they are just going to bust in anyway smh)

“Well, I was just headed to the department meeting and noticed your light was still on. I wasn’t sure if you were in here since you’re usually very punctual to these.”

Haha in my head, she’s like one of those ppl that turns off the light everytime they leave the room even if they have to come back in a min bc it “saves energy”

💡

“I don’t mind waiting. We can walk together,” Maria offers, planting herself in the doorway.

No way in hell I’m letting u leave that light on. Do u know how many lightbulbs end up in landfills each year??

needing to keep up a purely professional facade now that they have a witness

Super disconcerting when “witness” is used in a non legal/criminal context. Super. Disconcerting.

Maria turns her back to him and starts walking

Her inner monologue, delivered over film noir music: Another day, any other small amount of energy saved.

“Who the fuck did this?” He whispers incredulously.

Ok like, why is he so mad tho? Literally every profs office I have seen had nothing of value inside lol like no one wants your Tupperware of grapes, half dead plant, or random ass stack of old newspapers man

Break his door just to cause a scene? He can’t make sense of it.

I feel like as an anthro prof he should know better lol. Kids get drunk/high/bored and do shit. A couple floors of a residence building burned down on my campus bc someone managed to light an elevator on fire lmao

Anyway I bet it was Maria bc he left the light on again and she could see it from underneath his door so she had to break in to turn it off

“Maybe I can find us a hotel or–”

Girl nooooo, true crime 101, NEVER GO TO A SECOND LOCATION 😫

He likes it a little rough; he’s sure she won’t mind.

I just feel like this dude has some Patrick Bateman/American Psycho vibes rn

He immediately stops thrusting. “Whoa! Hey, what’s wrong?” He turns her head to him, looking over her face.

Oh shit does he have a conscience? 😧

While he’s not the gentlest of lovers, Bucky’s not a sadist.

I mean… that’s still a pretty big spectrum tho. Like, “it’s not a trash dumpster, but it’s not a Michelin star restaurant either”

“Please sit down, Professor Barnes,” she says harshly.

Me: ooohhh snap, something is about to go down

She turns it around to show him the screen, hitting the spacebar to play a video.

It’s this video lmao

The footage shows the length of her bed, the camera seemingly hidden by the headboard.

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO realness!!! Yaaasss Queen

“Uh… sweetheart… what is this?” He asks carefully.

Wow. I didn't realize he would have this much trouble grasping the most basic of concepts 🙄😏

"I-I don't understand…," Bucky says, confusion clouding his head.

I’m cackling rn. I think he just needs to keep studying hard and he’ll eventually see the pay-off, 😂

“Do you remember when I told you my roommate moved out last semester?” She ignores his question. “I never told you why she moved out.”

Omg Promising Young Woman vibesss🥹

But, thankfully, she's doing better now – not great, but better.

Ok phew 😮‍💨 bc when she said “her life” I was like 😰😰😰

Did you honestly think I was that clueless?

Oh wait…so the ape/monkey question at the beginning was really supposed to be a dumb question huh… 😳

"I've come to show you that you're wrong. That judgement day has finally come."

Yaaasss gurl, go all Old Testament god on his ass

Who's going to look out for them?

Maria comes in and is like, “well, I’m already constantly snooping around looking for lightbulbs that need to be turned off, so I guess I could do it”

acting very convincingly as an air-headed student the whole semester

Ok like….I don’t even think it was that dumb a question tho like aren’t apes and monkeys different animals??? RIGHT????? 😥😥😥

“And if you release that video, you think things will bode well for you? That my reputation is the only one that’ll be tarnished?"

Something something Kim K releasing the audio with Taylor and Kanye

While sleeping with his students is ethically wrong, it’s not illegal.

lyrics from “Problematic” by Bo Burnham

He’s lost, been bested. And by some damn college girl, no less. 

Haha his “if it weren’t for you meddling kids college girls” scooby doo villain moment

I loved this ending haha

Teacher’s Pet

College AU

Summary: It’s the start of a new semester and a student has caught Bucky’s eye. He wants to maintain a professional boundary between them, but can he hold himself back? For how long?

Pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Student!Reader

Word Count: ~9.1k (forgive me)

Warnings: language, Bucky is a narcissist, manipulation/grooming, deceit, abuse of power, praise kink-ish, mentions of depression/suicide ideation, SMUT 18+ (vaginal sex, rough sex, spanking), NON-CON aspects, additional warnings at the end

A/N: Hello! So, I know, it’s not a very original title for a teacher x student fic. But, whatever. Sue me. I need to warn you: dark fic ahead. While I normally like to be transparent in my warnings, in order to avoid spoilers, I have included additional warnings at the end of the fic. So, if you need to, please scroll to the bottom to read them before continuing. (Also, there’s spoilers hidden in the tags. So, feel free to avoid/check those depending on if you want to remain spoiler-free or not.) Anywho, this was written for @nastybuckybarnes​’ Nasty AU Challenge! Congrats on 7k, Lex! As a general disclaimer: I DO NOT condone the actions depicted below. To any and everyone who reads this, I hope you enjoy! Gif from Google.

Bucky writes on the whiteboard, making sure today’s lesson plan is laid out in great detail. He keeps his back to the students entering the classroom, but throws a “Welcome, take a seat” over his shoulder every time he hears the shuffle of feet. It’s the first day of the spring semester and Bucky wants to set a good standard for himself. He has a reputation to uphold, after all.

Five minutes before class starts, Bucky finishes writing out the lesson plan. Finally, he turns to face the class, getting a first look at the fresh meat for this semester.

It’s a relatively small class, but Bucky prefers it that way; it’s easier to get on a more one-on-one basis in smaller classes. Taking a quick head count, Bucky sees a few students still have to arrive. Hopefully they’ll be timely, he thinks. Being late on the first day is a hell of a way to make a first impression.

As if on command, the door at the back of the room opens. A young woman walks in, dressed in heavy winter gear in an attempt to bear the frigid January weather. Her head is slightly bowed as she walks through the room, heading to the front row. Once taking a seat, she shrugs out of her parka.

Bucky’s eyes immediately lock onto her chest – her low-cut blouse providing an ample viewing of her breasts. Well… that’s certainly one way to make a first impression. Checking his watch, he sees class has officially started.

Keep reading

[awkwardspontaneity]

Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹

I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!

✨ requests are open✨

Warning: angst, cheating

Revali🐦

I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares

But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist

It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated

They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently

It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.

Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him

Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain

You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?

You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.

CRASH

The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.

"Y/n-"

"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."

Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"

Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.

"I accused you, not have you permission."

"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.

"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."

Link 🗡️

Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities

Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship

That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.

It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.

You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.

Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.

Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.

You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.

You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.

Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?

------

Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.

That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.

However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.

"I saw you and Zelda together."

His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.

"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."

As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.

Sidon🦈

You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms

You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.

You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.

Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future

It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.

Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.

You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.

They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.

You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.

What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.

You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.

You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.

"Y/n?"

You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.

Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."

"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."

This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."

The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.

"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."

You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.

"I love you, always."

[vergess]

Yay nice I love taking quizes for fandoms I'm not in. OP, I'm sorry for the comment I'm too high to deal with writing in the tagr, and there's a new autosave draft feature that I love so I will be liveblogging your quiz now

Something about cops: I think I may have a sister who is a cop but its unclear as she was estranged like 15 years before I was, separately, estranged. I picked N/A. It seemed easier.

Something about religion: WOOOOOOOOO BOY. I picked N/A again haha

Are you a sufferer of Disorders or Symptoms: Yah

Were you born into wealth: Define... born... (I say as if I did not run out of food last week due to poverty)

OKAY THE REST OF THIS QUIZ WILL BE FUN I PROMISE: I'm going to trust you on this because so far it war SUPER DEPRESSING!!! But I gather these books are about... fascism... god... and elon musk? As lesbians? Or something? So it's GOT to be fu

Why the FUCK is this a list

Fucking tumblr is this because I typed the number 1 at the beginning of a paragraph like three years ago

Okay I opened notepad where was I

Oh right so I was always a nerd but the last time anyone accused me of being goth was in high school and now people forget I'm even a switch let alone something cool like a goth so probably just the nerd kind of nerd, as evidenced by [gestures at this post]

no cheating by picking the house you want if you know the colors; pick the one you like the most. im watching

Lol can you imagine. Okay now where are pink and orange on this bitch

[One second later]

Oh it's one of THOSE fantasy settings. Booooo. Okay purple or green hmmmmm…. ugh but the green is pastel though… How DO you people live like this? Purple I GUESS

Quiz: Describe yourself Me: Heavily traumatized and autistic about it Quiz: No in a cool way Me: knowledgable and adaptive

Quiz: Describe yourself (derogatory) Me: Is dissociative paralysis an option Quiz: self-centered and self-sacrificial Me: Wow bitch fine be like that

NOW BE HONEST WITH ME do you exercise regularly?

BRO YOU WON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BUT!!! I HAVE DONE PHYSIO EVERY DAY FOR TWO MONTHS (if one includes scheduled rest and stretch periods). I'm about to get a good grade in uQuiz, baby

Soul question: [helpfully offers a 'this is above my paygrade' option] Corpse question: What value has a man, no take backs!!

Historically I do tend to categorize people by their utility towards me but I've been assured this is "psychotic" and "symptomatic of my personality disorder" so… anyway my primary concerns re corpses are hygienic.

can't be a locked tomb quiz without a question about bones

I have no idea what this fucking book is about at this point. My feelings about bones are generally atypically positive but um. Not uh. Not that positive.

pick a body part

[carefully sings head shoulders knees and toes to myself to pick a part before getting "spoiled" by the answers, a very normal human behaviour] Tongues then smooth muscle organs

Quiz: We got teeth? Me: FUCK I almost said teeth ugh booo gimme the teeth

Books v Swords

My house has more books in it than swords… I feel like there are nuances to this binary that I'm not seeing. Maybe I'm just not gay enough to pick sword though.

pick a song title

Smart, way better than lyrics. I don't know the titles to any of the music I like because I'm a fucking animal, a mongrel pretending to be a man, alienated from artist and intent even as I feast on the endless Content

Anyway.

Your Result: 6th house necro

you're like: palamedes sextus, cassiopeia the first sixth for the truth over solace in lies. you are the emperor's reason. you are always the biggest brain in whatever room you're in. this does not mean you won't do stupid things for love, though

I don't know who/what those are, but it's so true. I'm smarter than god and often forced to ask myself shit like "would it be cringe to tell my seasonal depression crush I want to send them poetry? Wait no it's the blood that's the problem not the poems" so this sounds VERY accurate nice work OP

i made a locked tomb quiz that assigns you a house and position as cav or necro, if you’ve ever wondered which of jods boxes you’d be put in

[miekasa]

break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored

+ pairings: um… armin x reader…. but, spotlight on jean—just... read it to understand, please

+ genres and warnings: college au what’s new, fluff… you’re just going to have to work with me and trust me on this one alright

+ notes: free colt he ain’t do nothing wrong i just needed someone outside of their immediate friend group to blame i am so sorry justice for my boy colt and falco too

+ more notes: longer levi fic still in progress, so have jean thee comedian in the meantime

“I think I have a crush on someone.”

Jean crosses his arms and makes it a point to huff even louder than before so that you can accurately assess his annoyance at moment; going so far as to slump back into your not so comfortable couch to really sell it.

“And that is why you manhandled me all the way to your apartment on a Tuesday afternoon?” he asks, voice flat and eyes hooded.

You groan and roll your eyes. Jean’s eyebrows are pinched together with more judgement than confusion at your current state of distress when you sit next to him on the sofa, a knee bent in his direction.

“Jeanie, I don’t think you’re understanding the severity of my issue.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” he drawls, “But, please, do enlighten me. It’s not like I have an essay to write or anything.”

“I have a crush,” you reiterate, hands mapping out every syllable in your sentence, “On someone who is not my boyfriend.”

“I see,” he nods, but his voice remains flat, “And, pray tell, what exactly is my role in all of this?”

“You’re supposed to use your philosophical psychoanalytical bullshit to tell me what’s wrong with me and how to fix it.”

“Philosophy and psychology are two different disciplines.”

“They sound the same to me.”

“That’s because you’re a single-celled chem major.”

“I think it takes more than a single cell to study chem.”

“Oh, is that what they tell you guys, now?”

“You’re not fucking helping.”

“Yes, I am,” he tuts, “It’s called talk therapy.”

“It sounds like you’re just taking shots at me.”

“Best friend talk therapy allows for a few digs here and there.”

“Jean,” you pinch his arm. He flinches, and yelps loudly, immediately raising the affected arm to counter with a flick to the center of your forehead. You glare, the palm of your left hand covering the sting on your skin, but concede, “Well played.”

“Thank you,” he nods, “I learned from the best.”

“Okay, now that you’ve gotten your ego boost for the day, can we worry about my problem, please.”

He shrugs, crossing resting his left ankle atop his right knee, “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

“What exactly is the problem, again?”

You sigh, and lean your head on Jean’s shoulder, “I have a boyfriend—”

“We’ve been over that.”

“—and the person I have a crush on is not my boyfriend.”

“Okay,” he pauses, “Are you going to do anything about this crush?”

“Well, I… no,” you ponder, “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he repeats, “So, then why are you so worked up about it?”

“Because!... Because… I don’t know, it’s… wrong? I’m in a relationship with someone else—isn’t this, like, emotional cheating?”

“Maybe,” he says, “I don’t know a whole lot about relationship psychology.”

“Come on, Jean.”

He sighs, “I’m serious, I don’t know, (_____).”

You whine, sounds muffled by the fabric of Jean’s sweater where your cheek lay pressed against his shoulder. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

“You’re not, stop it,” Jean answers firmly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, “You’re not horrible for having emotions that are difficult to work through.”

“Okay, then, I’m just a horrible girlfriend.”

“Maybe.”

“Jean.”

“Sorry,” he winces, patting your head for extra encouragement. It’s meant to be comforting, but it makes you feel like a patronized six-year-old, at best. It’s quiet for a while, with you mulling over Jean’s words, and him trying to pull you into the worst side hug in all of existence.

“Do you think,” you break the silence, “Maybe I should I break up with him?”

“Yes,” his answer comes too quickly, and much too enthusiastically.

You lift your head from his shoulder, unamused, but Jean doesn’t even try to hide the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t like him.”

“No,” he pauses when he catches glimpse of the disbelief on your face, “Okay, yes, I don’t like him. At all.”

“Jean—”

“But maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you don’t like him either, and that you should, instead, go after your crush.”

“Oh, so now you want to use your psychobullshit on me?”

“If it means I don’t have to pretend to like Colt anymore, then yes,” he replies, a stupid, shit-eating grin on his lips.

You scoff, arms crossed against your chest, “You don’t even pretend to like him now.”

Jean shrugs, “I pretend to like him to his face.”

“No, you don’t,” you insist, “You’re probably the worst at it, in fact.”

“I’m not worse than Connie.”

“You called him an asshole. To his face.”

“Connie poured tequila on him.”

“Connie was drunk. You were completely sober.”

“Connie would have done it sober and you know it.”

You open your mouth to refuse, but the words fall silent in your throat. Connie probably would have done it sober. “Okay, fine, whatever, you don’t like him,” you wave away the subject, “Do you really think this crush is my subconscious telling me to break up with him, though? I mean—it’s just, crushes are kind of fleeting right?”

“Sure, but—”

“What if I break up with him, and then I get over my crush, and realize I made a mistake.”

“Then you learn and grow, and find a new crush.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he insists, “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad over this mystery guy—”

“—It could be a girl.”

“Is it a girl? Oh, is it Mikasa? Are you still hung up over her—you know I’m sure she’d make out with you asked. I think you both could relieve a lot of tension that way, actually.”

“You’re the worst person to walk this planet, you know that?” you sneer, annoyed by the smug grin on Jean’s face. So what if you had a tiny crush on Mikasa? Most people did, Jean included.

“Look,” Jean continues, “You and I both know you’re not a cheater, but you and I also know you’re just like Eren when it comes to things like this.”

“Just like Eren?”

“Falls too fast, too hard,” he clarifies, “I get the feeling you’ve had these feelings for a while, and that they’re not fleeting.”

You pout, and Jean knows that he’s right. “Okay, so say I do break up with Colt—”

“Which you should do, regardless.”

“—If we break up, then what? I still won’t know what to do with my left over grief. It’s not like I can just... go ask this guy out right away.”

“Yes, you can,” Jean presses, “In fact, you should.”

“No, I can’t,” you insist.

“Why not?”

“Well for one, I’ll look like a heartless whore.”

“You’re not a heartless whore for asking a guy out.”

“I am if I do it right after breaking up with my boyfriend.”

“Your internalized misogyny is showing,” he sing-songs, “Come on, you’re not a whore for doing what you want with a guy, you know that.”

“Okay, fine, not a whore, whatever,” you roll your eyes, “But I still couldn’t ask him out.”

“It’s the twenty first century, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t ask him—”

“Not because of that, dumb goose,” you glare, “I meant because—it’s, well, it’d be really sudden and kind of… awkward?”

“It’s not like he’d know you just broke up with someone, unless that’s one of your conversation starters.”

You sigh, a hand on your forehead. “Yes, he would, Jean.”

“How could he possibly—oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mock, a heavy sigh leaving your chest as you resume your previous sulking position, head leaning against his shoulder with your right cheek squished against his sweater.

“(_____), I’m honored, but you’re not really my type. I’d be willing to help you get over him though.”

“It’s not you, you fucking long-necked pigeon, it’s Arm—,” you cut yourself short, hands clamped over your own mouth.

“Oh my god!” Jean all but screams, propelling his body away from you with just enough distance to extend his arm, finger pointing directly at your chest, “You like Armin!”

“Shut up!”

“You have a crush on Armin!”

“Shut up, Jean!”

“You have a big, fat crush on Armin!”

“Shut up! I said shut up, you pasty fucking giraffe looking ass bitch!”

“Oh my—okay, you have to break up with Colt, immediately,” Jean rushes, “I can’t believe this—if you think Armin wouldn’t go out with you, then you really do have the intelligence of a single celled organism.”

“What in the ever loving fuck are you talking about.”

“We’re talking about the same Armin, right? Armin Arlert, about this tall,” Jean raises his hand significantly lower than Armin’s actual height, “Studies astrophysics, follows you around like a lap dog—”

“He does not,” you scoff.

Jean guffaws, “Didn’t he take you on a tour of, like… the NASA museum for your birthday? With the super high-tech planetarium that people die to get into?”  

“Actually, it was their headquarters, but it’s only because he gets special privileges for being an intern.”

“Didn’t he name a star after you?”

“Anyone can name a star after anyone,” you roll your eyes, “It’s really not that hard.”

“People do not fucking go to NASA and ask for stars for just anyone!” Jean screeches, hands flailing wildly.

“Armin does!”

“Yeah, for you!” Jean emphasizes, “Come on, do you think if anybody else called him right now and asked him to get a star in their name, or even just fucking take them to headquarters of the most renowned space organization in the country, that he would actually do it?”

“I mean, maybe, if like… Eren asked.”

Jean opens his mouth to refute, but freezes half way with a head-tilt and pursed lips. “Okay, yeah, maybe—whatever, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you need to tell him.”

“I don’t need to tell him shit.”

“You’re seriously choosing Colt over Armin? Who willingly stays with some greasy prick with the world’s most annoying younger brother, over a handsome, straight-A astrophysics student with a penchant for marine biology, and, like, really clear skin.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Bertholdt was studying astro.”

“I wasn’t talking about Bertholdt.”

“It sounded like you were talking about Bertholdt.”

“I mean, Bertholdt’s got great skin, but it’s no where near as clear as Armin’s. He glows.”

It’s quiet again, as you eye Jean with a raised brow that’s all too familiar. “Are we sure that you’re not the one with the crush on Armin?”

“Shut up, you’re avoiding the point.”

“What’s the point, exactly?”

“That you’re in love with Armin, who is miles better than your current boy toy, so you should ask him out immediately.”

“I have a boyfriend, not a boy toy.”

“Ah ha!” he yells, “You didn’t deny that you’re in love with him—oh my god, you’re in love with Armin!”

He’s standing now, practically bouncing off the the walls at the revelation. You take to smacking him with the nearest pillow. “I’m not in love with him! I just—just really like him, okay!”

“Very convincing.”

“Shut the hell up, you’ve been pining after you know who for seven eons at this point.”

“You bitch,” he growls, “We’re not supposed to bring him up.”

“Well, you keep bringing up Armin!”

“We never established that Armin was on the list of he’s who shall not be named.”

“Well I vote that he should be.”

“Your vote has been vetoed,” he grins, “Look, I’m completely serious when I say that Armin is just as in love with you as you deny you are with him.”

“That sentence hurt my head,” you pout, resuming your signature brooding position.

“It’s okay, your single brain cell has been through a lot in the past fifteen minutes,” he pats your head again, earning him a glare that he simply chuckles at, “All it means is that you love Armin, and I assure you that he’s equally, if not more, in love with you.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. Now, up, up, up,” he tuts, pulling at your biceps until you’re standing, only to immediately start ushering you to the door, “You have a shitty boyfriend to go break up with.”

“What—Jean, come on, I didn’t mean right now!” you exclaim; but he’s stronger than he looks, and continues to propel your body out of the open door.

“No time to waste!” he insists, “Every hour you stay with Colt you lose another brain cell.”

“I thought I only had one to begin with,” you say, sarcasm evident in your tone.

It makes Jean’s grin triple, “Exactly, so go, not another hour to waste!”

“Jean, wait, I—,” you begin, only to be silenced by the silver door shutting in your face. The lock clicks soon after, and it’s only then you realized what he’s done.

“You knobby kneed bitch, this is my apartment!”

[erensrag]

the one -

armin x yn (wc: 12720)

warnings: nsfw/smut, yandere armin, obsession, mentions of stalking, manipulation, toxic relationship, armin being a creep in love basically. summary makes it seem like he kidnaps reader lmao he doesn’t

summary: having seen enough of you managing without him, armin decides to finally take matters into his own hands and make you his.

armin doesn't understand.

he thought he planned everything out perfectly. he gave you your space, hasn’t given anyone the slightest suggestion of his feelings for you—at least the people you both know. he wanted you to come to him willingly, no persuasion or sweet talks.

he did everything perfectly. he's the perfect student, always has been. has gotten straight a's since the moment he entered his first grade, received a full scholarship to some college he could care less about instead of his dream one because that's the one you chose, even helped you with your college admission letters. he's well off, could've—could take care of you your entire life. he's loved by everyone on campus and even in high school, he was the apple of everyone's eye.

you knew how perfect he was back then and how he's thriving right now so how the hell...of all people why him? he clenches the beer can in his hand, watching you stumble up the stairs with none other than his best friend.

this isn't like the other boys you've dated. he can't just threaten or throw cash at him until he realizes you'll always belong to armin and leave you alone. eren doesn't listen to anyone and even if he did try any threats, it'd just ruin the nice guy reputation he’d had spent years building up.

he throws the can onto the sofa, immediately trailing after you two before he can stop himself. he thought spending the summer in everyone’s home town would've just brought them closer—specifically brought you and him closer, that was the plan after all. not you and eren. you two have barely spoken three words to each other your entire lives.

it doesn't make sense.

he thought he knew everything about you. he had organized every single detail regarding you in sections and tucked the pictures in that little box that's been tucked under his dorm bed for years. maybe he gave too much space? college was undoubtedly stressful, he must've become too busy with his studies to look over you. to make sure you made the right decisions and weren't tainted by the hands of everyone around you.

he had screwed up.

but he intends to make it right. to put you back on the right track, the one you're supposed to be on. the one that leads you straight to him.

he found the two of you in some random bedroom, disgust immediately taking over him at the sight. is this who you were now? a few months of not talking to one another and you were already ruining your life by letting yourself get fucked by eren of all people in a bedroom you didn't even know the owner of?

his nails dig into his palms as he watches through the creek in the door, you guys didn't even bother to close it all the way. as if you wanted an audience. eren was already slamming into you, like you were nothing more than a toy dying to be used and defiled. like a whore. is that who you are now y/n? a whore? the more he stares, the more it seems like it. you’re on your stomach, hands clenching the sheets and head thrown back in pleasure.

the pace of his thrusts has you letting out high pitched moans, a bit of saliva sliding down your chin. "e—eren." you cry out and armin would've walked in there and punched the daylights out of his own best friend because no one deserves to hear you calling their name out like that except for him. it's unfair. so unfair he could fucking die out of fury right now. but he didn't. he stood there, frozen because hitting his best friend—anyone is out of character for him.

it would've raised eyebrows and questions he doesn't want to answer. but still...the way eren snaps his cock in you sloppily, the slap of skin against skin filling the room makes him bite down on his tongue to the point of blood. the anger is consuming him and he's not sure he can watch this torture any longer.

"y—you're—n—ngh so big, eren." you moan like a bitch in heat, tongue almost lolling out as eren grabs your hair, pulling your head back even more so he can plant a disgusting kiss on your lips.

at least you're still dressed, outfit clinging to your sweaty body. at least he doesn't get to see anything too valuable. at least armin still has that for himself. it's when eren grips your clothed breast that he decides enough is enough, he's ready to open the door and storm in the room but a hand is quickly grabbing his forearm.

he freezes, has someone been watching him? did they see anything? fuck, are they going to think he's some huge pervert? judging by his actions tonight, maybe he is. he slowly turns around, closing the door in front of him before the person can ask any questions.

it's historia. her pupils are dilated as she leans onto armin's arm. the booming sound of the music from downstairs drowns out whatever she's slurring out right now but armin pretty's sure he has a gist of it. "let's get you home." he sighs, placing his hand on her shoulder.

she shakes her head, "we—gotta...find y/n." she says a bit louder, clenching her eyes shut before opening them again. "my head hurts." she whines.

"that's what happens when you decide to act like a damn delinquent." he mutters bitterly more to himself, it's not like she'll remember any of this tomorrow. "now let's go home before mom kills us."

"but—y/n. we came with her, we can't just...just..." she clenches the front of his shirt before letting out a choked gag.

armin huffs, almost throwing her off before she ruins his clothes but even as annoying as she is, leaving his sister in a place like this isn't such a good idea. especially for his reputation. he would take y/n with him as well but it seems she's too preoccupied. too tainted to think straight.

but like he said, he'll make sure to fix that. he has two months to get everything back to the way they were. and maybe even a little better.

he's waited years for your friendship with him to blossom into something more but it seems nothing will happen without him egging a few things on first.

he spends the entire night tossing and turning, nightmares of the party before repeating in his head over and over again.

if it was anything else, he thinks he would've been able to let it go after taking a few precautions. but this isn't anything else. this is big and it only spirals the blotchy jealously he's tried hard to keep under wraps over the years, threatening to invade his thoughts with vile images.

he's awake long enough to hear the front door opening at three in the morning. immediately getting up and walking towards his slightly open door, knowing it's you. historia and his mother are sound asleep and besides his father who's rarely home due to work, you're the only one left with a key.

he made sure to pressure historia into getting you one as soon as possible the second he found out you were spending the summer with them. groaning fills the silence of the house followed by you stumbling up the stairs. he expects to hear you go into the guest room you're staying in or historia's bedroom but the bathroom door opens instead.

a few minutes passes before he hears you groaning again, this time louder and his feet inch towards the hallway, wanting nothing more than to go to you. but then that angry feeling rises again and an acidic taste resides on his tongue. he doesn't want to be angry at you, he's never been angry at you. he should be furious with eren only. the way he took advantage of your kindness and obliviousness isn't right. if you were sober, you never would've gone for him.

he sighs heavily, walking towards the bathroom door. you're slouched over the toilet, gagging into it and he races over. the concern is etched on his face as his hand rests on your back, startling you. you turn your head, movements sluggish. "armin?"

he didn't even have the decency to walk you inside? make sure you got into bed properly? fucking asshole.

"you okay?" he asks. it's the most you two have spoken to each other all summer.

"y-yeah." you wipe your lips. "sleepy." you murmur.

he gets up, putting his arm around your waist as he helps you stand. "rinse your mouth." he mutters and you obey, going to the sink to put some water in your mouth and spitting it out. "let's get you to bed."

you two stumble out of the bathroom, he makes sure to keep his hands around your waist. his chest constricting with want as he gets to feel you, it's been ages since you two have touched each other. he eyes your bedroom door, that's where he originally wanted to take you but he can't help but think back to that party. at how eren got to experience everything he wasn't able to. then he sees the bruises on your neck, he grits his teeth so hard he's sure they're going to chip any second.

no. he deserves this little thing. it's not like he's going to do anything inappropriate, he's not like that jackass who decided he deserved to touch you like that. he just wants to be near you. it's been awhile, too long. and it's not like you two haven't slept in the same bed before.

that's what he tells himself as he guides the both of you towards his own bedroom, slowly placing you on the bedsheets to which you immediately snuggle into. he eyes flicker towards the closet door, contemplating whether to take out a random t-shirt and place you in it but you'd just be waking up with questions he wouldn't be able to answer. the armin everyone knows can't even look at a girl without blushing, let alone undress her.

so he opts for just laying down besides you on the sheets, he can explain this if you wake up confused. that you just drunkly stumbled in his room and laid down next to him. he turns his head, captivated by every rise and fall of your chest. your eyelashes fluttering as you snuggle deeper into the pillow, letting out incoherent whimpers.

his fingers slowly trace your cheek, chest burning badly with want. all he wants to do is touch, touch, touch. you just look so beautiful, so serene. and he can't help brush a thumb over your bottom lip. the same lips that were moaning out eren's just a few hours ago. that dark feeling is back and he can't help but press his finger down on your lip harshly, you let out a tiny whine but keep your eyes closed, too sleepy to really comprehend what's going on.

what's so special about him? he doesn't get it. eren's a meathead. he isn't fit to take care of you, to cater to your every need and make sure you never have to want for anything. to be ready to do whatever is necessary to keep you happy, even if it means hurting those you don't realize are harming you.

he leans forward, lips ghosting over yours but never touching. no, he wants you to be awake and alert for when your lips finally meet. so you can see no one else in this world but him deserves you. but fuck, he wants to kiss you. your lips look so soft, so addicting, like they were made for him. and they were. every inch of your body was created for him just like his was for you.

he needs to make this right, make you see what was standing in front of you all long. he could punch himself for not realizing he needed to act on this sooner.

but he will now. he'll make sure to fix everything.

armin wakes up before you, not wanting to be in the room when you finally snapped out of your slumber. fortunately, you don't stay asleep too long, waking up only thirty minutes after.

he's already made breakfast by then, blueberry pancakes just the way you like them. you step into the kitchen and he almost drops the glass of orange juice he's holding. you're dressed in his oversized hoodie with some shorts, it practically engulfs your frame as you awkwardly sit on a stool.

you're wearing his clothes.

his clothes are touching your skin right now. making contact with your chest, stomach and breasts. he gulps, placing the glass down. "m-morning."

"morning..." you trail off, slowly drumming your fingers on the counter. "pancakes?"

he quickly pushes a plate towards you, he shamelessly designed it like it held a five course meal instead of simple pancakes but you seem to appreciate it as you gasp. "this looks amazing."

"did you sleep well?" he deliberately asks that question just to see you squirm.

you tense up, picking up the fork as you jab the pancakes. "yeah...uh sorry i was in your room and...bed. must've stumbled in there last night."

"it's fine." he smiles. "i slept on the couch, no worries." the lie flows out as if he didn't spend the last few hours cuddling you like you were going to run away any second.

"oh."

"what?"

"nothing." you shake your head, chewing.

"no really, what?" he presses, leaning on the counter towards you.

"well...i mean i wouldn't have a trouble if you slept in the same bed, it's not like we haven't done it before."

"that was a long time ago." he says but the fact you remembered fills him up with glee. so your mind hasn't been completely infiltrated with his so called best friend, you still think of armin.

"yeah but we were really close before...you know. i'm sure—"

"before what?" he asks, forcing the confusion to appear on his face even though he knows exactly what you're talking about.

you fidget, "before you started to distance yourself." you sigh, perhaps growing a bit agitated under his intense gaze.

"hmm." he hums. "well, studies and all that, you know how it is. but i'm sure you found plenty of people to fill in that hole i left behind."

you raise an eyebrow, "well...i wouldn't—"

"did you miss me, though y/n?" he places his hand under his chin, staring at you. "you walked into my room like it was second nature, snuggled right into my bed like it was home. it was pretty cute."

you nibble on your bottom lip, "i'm sorry about that. gosh, that's so embarrassing."

"answer the question." he urges, tone being a little bit more stern then he intended.

your eyes widen for a moment, "yeah—uh i missed you. didn't you miss me?" you ask shyly.

a far contrast from the moans that were leaving your lips last night. "of course i missed you." he nods. "you, me and historia were such a tight nip group back then. but then college came around and things changed. we changed, didn't we?"

"yeah, i guess."

"you never used to go to parties before and now look at you, stumbling in at three am like some drunkard. makes me wonder what else you've been up to." he continues nonchalantly, plucking a berry into his mouth.

you lick your lips, hands clenching around the fork. a few seconds pass by before you let out a laugh meant to lighten the mood, "i almost forgot how intense you can be, geez lighten up armin. your stare is practically boring into me." you play with the sleeve of his hoodie, trying to hide your discomfort.

discomfort. he doesn't want you to feel that around him. he'll have to change that, make you see his behavior is only intended to help you. protect you from the evils in the world because you're simply too native to notice them. "and i didn't even wanna go to that party in the first place. i suggested star gazing but historia called it dumb."

"of course she did, her idea of a good time is getting so drunk she could faint." he rolls his eyes. "anyways. speaking of change, did you talk to eren last night?"

you almost choke on the pancake, quickly putting the fork down so you can grab the glass of water and gulp it down. "n-no! why would i speak to eren? i barely know the guy."

you've always been a bad liar—always overexaggerating everything.

"just wondering. i haven't been able to get a hold of him. mikasa wants to speak to him."

"mikasa? why?" that certainly piques your curiosity.

"well, they are best friends and he left campus without telling her where he was going apparently. she's at her hometown with her parents and is worried sick."

"can’t you be the messenger or something?”

he clicks his tongue, walking over and sitting next to you. "i'm not sure this message can be passed down through me." he smiles, making sure your thighs are touching.

"why not?" you ask timidly, as if afraid for his answer.

"well, i'm sure you know about how...special their relationship is. right before we left for break, eren told me he was planning on confessing his feelings for her when we got back and then she just texted me saying—"

"what?" your lips form into a frown, doe eyes filled with confusion. it's so cute. so naive and cute. "eren likes her?"

"of course he likes her silly, everyone knows those two are head over heels for each other. practically in a relationship already. it'll be so cute when we get back to campus and see them finally get together, don't you think so? their bond is truly something remarkable."

you stay silent, eyes staring down at your pancakes. do you actually like him? armin refrains from a scoff, how could you be so dumb to fall for someone like eren? "what's wrong? you look like you've seen a ghost."

"f-fine."

he nods, hand going to touch the syrup in the corner of your lips. you look surprised for a second as his tongue darts out to lick his finger. "we'll be spending two whole months in this house together." he changes the subject, having accomplished what he wanted to do. he doubts the eren situation is over yet but he has all the time to permanently destroy it. and he will.

"don't we think we should rekindle the friendship? it's gonna be awkward if we continue ignoring each other."

"you're the one who ignored me." you murmur.

"i wanna fix that, i'm sorry y/n. i'm sure we can go back to where we left off, hmm?"  he lean down so your faces are closer together, your eyes widening at that the movement. "would you like that?"

it looks like you're nodding before you can even register what he's saying. you've always been like that. so compliant. it used to be adorable but now all he can think about is how eren used that submissiveness and naivety to sink his claws into you. no one can be trusted around you. only armin.

"y—yeah." you smile, sullen mood from the news he just delivered temporarily gone. "i've missed you a lot."

"i've missed you too."

"what's this?" you ask as you walk into the living room a few hours later, granola bar in hand. still wearing his hoodie.

"a fort?"

"i can see it's a fort, but why?" you walk over to the sofa, plopping down on it.

"we used to make these all the time in high school, and since we're going to be friends again. don't you think—"

"so a fort?" you hum. "you usually hated when we made these, always calling it childish."

"well..." he steps towards the coffee table, picking up the miniature planetarium he stashed in his closet a few years ago. "you said you wanted to go stargazing so—"

"so you brought the stars to me?" your tone isn't mocking but you do chuckle a bit. "i don't know if that's sweet or just—"

"i think it's sweet." he grins, walking towards you. "so what do you think?" he gestures towards the fort. he didn't spent the last fifteen minutes moving furniture and gathering almost all pillows, sheets and cushions in the house for this for you to reject his offer. he needs to see you with that look in your eyes, looking at the stars with admiration. he misses it. the last sight in his mind is of you at that party, eyes gleamed over with lust and that hammered look. it plays over and over again and he's sick of it.

"sure." you beam, not waiting for him to make the first move as you crawl into the fort. the sanctuary he made for just the two of you.

he goes in after you, thighs touching yours as you sit next to each other. he made the insides small on purpose, just so he could feel you. he turns the projector on and you both watch as the speckles of light start to form on the sheets.

"whoa." you mutter to yourself, entrapped by the glowing of the luminescent blues and purples. "you really did all this for me?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip.

"wouldn't be the first time i went all out for you." he moves closer to you, breathing fanning on your face. "i'd do anything for you y/n, i thought you knew that already."

you're his. he should do whatever it takes to care of what's his.

you stare at him, a definite picture of of purity with those big mesmerizing eyes. your mouth gapes open trying to come up with a response but nothing comes out. armin watches a bead of sweat trail down your forehead, it's almost scorching in here. he knows it would've happen in this summer heat so he slowly picks up the mini electric. "hot?"

"w-what about you?" you ask, visibly swallowing a lump in your throat.

he hesitates. c'mon armin. just be a man. so he wraps his hand around your waist and you recoil in surprise as he brings you into his lap so the fan is on both of your bodies. you place your hand on his thighs, squirming to get into a comfortable position. "a-armin..." you laugh, it's awkward. you're trying to ease the tension but he doesn't want that, he just wants to be near you,  consequences be damned.

he's usually smarter than this. smarter than acting before he thinks but that night won’t stop haunting him so he smiles as he leans his chin on your shoulder. "what? am i making you uncomfortable?"

"w—well no but...it's just very sudden. you were acting as if i didn't exist just a few days ago and you're now—"

"i just wanted to touch you y/n. it's been years without your touch." he whispers, resisting the urge to nibble on your earlobe. "didn't you miss me? miss my touches?" he asks innocently, wrapping both his hands around your waist to pull you closer. your back is flushed against his chest, ass directly on his crotch and it takes a lot of will power not to get a hard on.

"i did." you nod eagerly. "of course i did."

"so let me treat you for all those times i missed."

"okay." you say, seemingly without thinking.

"wanna get some barbecue tomorrow ?"

"i have to meet my parents. y'know, getting yelled at for my major. the usual."

he frowns. "they're still mad about that? you should talk to them."

"you know they never listen to me." you squirm again on his lap but abruptly stops as you realize where exactly you're sitting. "it's fine, i barely talk to them anyways. i'm sure they'll finally get over it once i graduate."

he should comfort you, say something along the lines of they'll come around or don't worry but instead what comes out is none of those. "you don't need them." he rustles against you. "i'll always support you y/n. like i always have"

even if you weren't aware, he was mostly always in the shadows and making sure you got everything you wanted. "well, they are my parents."

"they've never cared enough to listen to you, to see you." his tone changes, voice low now as more sweat beads down his forehead. "none of them have, have they?"

"i—i...i'm sure—"

"historia doesn't see you? does she? she says she's your best friend but she treats you like a lackey y/n. isn't that infuriating?"

you scoff, "that's not true." you go to get off his lap but he tightens his hold on you. he just needs to say this.

"is that why she rejected your offer of stargazing? why she always made fun of your outfit choices back in high school? she was always jealous of you, don't you see that? you're better than that, better than all of them." every single one.

he wishes he could see your face but he settles for this, just for this simple touch. "i don't know what you want me to say to that, armin." you breath out.

"i want you to see your worth, y/n. you deserve better than all of this. don't you think so? you deserve the world." he can't help himself as he leans into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

you're not creeped out, or at least you're not attempting to get up anymore. "and what, you can give me that? is that what you're saying?"

he wasn't meant to have this type of conversation right now, it was just supposed to be a nice evening of laying down in this fort. but he saw an opportunity and why not take it?

"you know i can." he answers. "you know i'd do anything for you."

you turn your head slightly, looking at him. "really?" you question. "anything?" you sound intrigued and he swears you're leaning in, it's not his imagination right? you really are.

but before your lips can even brush against each other, historia's screeching voice booms in the living room. "y/n! it's time to get ready."

you quickly get off, almost throwing yourself to the ground as you scoff awkwardly. as if being knocked out of a trance. you don't even spare armin a glance as you crawl out.

get ready for what?

"another party?" armin leans on the doorway frame, watching his sister apply her makeup. "you two went to one just last night—and halloween themed? it's the middle of summer."

"that's what makes it fun!" she smiles, putting the blush down and standing up. she decided to go as a cat. or at least, he thinks it's a cat. drawn on whiskers with an ear headset, a damn tail, short dress with long fishnets.

she looks like a whore. she's been acting like a whore ever since summer started and he realizes maybe that's why you’re acting so different. you live near each other in the dorms and historia must be rubbing off of you.

he tries and keeps his outrage down as historia gets up, walking towards the door. "we'll be back at twelve...hopefully."

"no, you'll be back at twelve." he grits his teeth. "you'll get drunk like an idiot dear sister, and leave y/n all alone at some strangers house. again."

she blushes, offended at the assumption. "you're the one who brought me home last night, why are you blaming it on—"

"would mother appreciate this? you dressed up like a skank and going to a party two nights in a row?"

he shouldn't be saying this. it's not in his character and it's obvious historia is completely staggered at his behavior. "she's barely home and i doubt she cares what i do at night. unlike you, i haven't made it my life to be the perfect—"

"but i care." he's walking towards her before he can stop himself. "i care about the way you're treating y/n. dragging her to parties, getting her drunk so assholes can take advantage then leaving her high and dry. you're a bad influence, dear sister and it's truly annoying seeing you trying to turn her into some gross replica of you. she's not like that, she's not tainted like you. she's pure and i won't let—"

"you're hurting me jackass!" she whimpers and it's only then armin realizes he's seized her wrist, digging his nails into the skin.

he quickly lets go, clearing his throat. "sorry, just stressed from school."

the annoyance is clear in her eyes along with the rage but armin notices something else...a hint of fear? he scared her? fucking great. watch as she goes and rants to mother about her asshole of an older brother resulting in talks he definitely doesn't want to have.

"if you're so worried about y/n, come to the party like you did last night. keep an eye on your precious doll." she scoffs, shoving him away so she can step out the door, rubbing at her wrist.

that's not a total bad idea. it's a perfect way to get closer to you without seeming like a total creep plus he can keep eren and his greedy claws away. he quickly walks towards your door, knocking once before you're opening. his mouth nearly gapes open at the sight of you, how is it always possible for him to be blown away by your beauty every time he sees you? you're dressed in a short white dress, wearing a halo headset with wings.

an angel? fitting. very very fitting.

"you like it?" you grab the ends of the dress, showing it off. he notices you try very hard to not look at him in the eyes. "couldn't decide between a bride or angel. historia wanted me to go as a sexy nurse but i didn't really have—"

"gorgeous. you look gorgeous." it flows out of his tongue so smoothly it has the both of you tensing up.

"really?" you quirk an eyebrow, clearing your throat and finally looking at him. it feels so damn awkward—at least to you but you try to act normal nonetheless. "i expected a swarm of insults, you hate things like that."

"do i think having a halloween themed party in the middle of summer is completely and utterly idiotic? yes. but it doesn't deter from your blinding beauty."

a shy smile gathers on your face, "uh...thanks."

"ready to go? i'm driving.”

your eyes widen, "you? going to a party twice in a row? going to a party at all? are you okay?" your hand is quickly going to touch his forehead before he can comprehend what's going on. his cheeks immediately blaze red, taking a quick step back.

you take your hand away, letting out an uneasy laugh. "it's just a tough armin, not like i was going to stab you or something."

"i know—"

"you say you want our friendship back but you act like this...it's weird." you huff. "you've been acting weird ever since we left for college, no—you've been acting like an ass and i've let it go but this summer means a lot to me. i'm finally having fun for once in my life and i don't need you to come in and confusing me and—and what the hell was that fort—"

"i was just surprised!" he cuts off, tone more urgent than he wants it to be. "i do want us to be friends again!" he deliberately ignores the fort question.

he just wasn't prepared for the feeling of your skin against his in that moment. it’s usually him initiating the touches, not the other way around. he swallows the lump in his throat, quickly taking your hand in his. "i didn't mean to insult you. of course i want your touch, who wouldn't want it? you're—" he stops talking. stop it. stop it. he's babbling. "let's just go."

you nod, smiling again. at least you're not creeped out by his behavior.

the party is boring. it's only been an hour and he's bored out of his damn mind. other than drunk girls coming up to him and asking him what's he's supposed to be even though it's pretty freaking obvious he's not wearing a costume—the random loud shouting as someone starts taking shots is enough to drive him out of his mind.

but at least you're here.

he's made sure to keep an eye on you the second you guys got here. you've mostly been outside on the patio, drinking punch as you dance with some friends. he occasionally touches his lips, thinking of how close they were to yours in that fort. the way you looked at him was filled with...well you definitely didn't look at eren like that last night. speaking of the devil— "eren." he smiles tightly as his friend sits next to him on the sofa. "vampire?" he asks, eyeing his costume.

"is that alcohol?" he looks at the cup in armin's hand. "i need to get drunk immediately."

"it's water."

"water. of course it's water." he chuckles. "what else do i expect from mr goody two shoes?"

armin rolls his eyes, "why are you so desperate to find a way to act like even more of an idiot?" he mutters as if there aren't piles of cups around them, not to mention the cases of beer he's sure are in the fridge.

"nothing." he groans, leaning against the couch. "it's a party. getting drunk is what you're supposed to do."

"hmmm." he hums. "just thought it had to do with something else."

"like what?"

"well...i saw you and y/n the other night, getting it on."

"please never say getting it on ever again." he grins, sitting back up.

he's grinning...as if he didn't just commit a great sin against armin. didn't put his hands on armin's girl, didn't...he grits his teeth. how can he act so careless? as if he had any right to do what he did last night?

"do you like her?"

eren arches an eyebrow, looking at him. "what's it to you?"

"you don't do relationships. you hump and dump and y/n and i are very close. i don't want her becoming one of your victims."

"that's none of your business." he scoffs.

"just answer the question." his eyes bore into the others, clenching the cup in his hand to the point the liquid is overflowing onto his lap but he could care less. "cause if so, that's really pathetic. she always expresses how much of a idiot you are, it's funny really. how she had to be drunk to finally sleep with you."

"she wasn't drunk." he says through gritted teeth. "we were both a little tipsy but not drunk enough to—"

"why are you even doing this with her? she doesn't like you."

"again. it's none of your business." eren deadpans. "what's wrong with you tonight? we're both—"

"you're right." armin sighs, letting out an exaggerated laugh like he's just realized how crazy he sounds. even though he knows he’s acting perfectly sane right now, who wouldn’t be mad if they discovered what armin did? "i'm being weird, i'm just really protective of y/n. she's like family to me, you know that."

eren bites his lip, still a bit tense but nods nonetheless. "i'm not doing anything...like that with her. i genuinely wanna see where things go."

oh.

he's not sure which answer would've been better but he shakes his head okay, licking his now dry lips. "wanna get drunk on the roof? just like we used to?"

"you mean i got drunk and you sat there, silently judging me." eren corrects, anxious atmosphere from before now gone. armin likes that about him. quick to forget and never holds grudges. "but sure, i'll get the beer."

"i have to go pee, see you on the roof." he salutes before eren walks into the kitchen. his eyes instantly travel towards you, feet dragging themselves towards the patio before he can stop.

he just wants to ask if you're okay before he departs, see if you don't need any assistance. you're surrounded by people...but it's people he doesn't trust. he doesn't trust anyone with you. for good reasons. before he can walk further to tap your shoulder, he hears the conversation you're having with abby—he thinks that's her name.

she's been over for sleepovers many times. never really liked armin, that's for sure. he's heard her call him fake at least two times, saying someone can't actually be that nice or perfect. fucking abby. why is she talking to you? he should've gotten rid of her long ago, sabotaged the friendship as soon as he realized her bad influence.

"just ask him out!" he hears her squeal. "literally, what are you waiting for? he's so hot."

something tells him she's not fangirling like this  over armin.

"it's just...it's gonna be awkward!" you sigh, leaning against the wall. see? you can make good choices all by yourself, it's the people around your corrupting you. warping your thoughts until they're no longer your own. "he's armin's best friend and—"

"ugh! who cares about that boring walking encyclopedia!" abby groans heavily. "eren is probably the most popular guy on campus, have you seen those abs? ask him out or i will!" she laughs and armin knows she's not joking.

"he's not...boring." you mutter. "he's actually a pretty cool guy and—"

"you're probably the only one who thinks that." she rolls her eyes.

she interrupted you again. why is she always interrupting you? and why do you never speak up on it?

"ask eren out! c'mon, who cares about what armin thinks? his head is too busy being buried in books to notice anyone else regardless." she shakes your hand frantically.

you squirm, slowly nodding. "maybe. i might. eren doesn't seem to be totally av—"

"gotta go pee." she lets go of your hand. "drank way too much beer."

"want me to go with you?"

you're so nice. why are you so nice?"

"no, it's fine. it'll only take two seconds." she smiles, walking back inside. armin already made himself scarce the second she turned around, watching her walk up the stairs.

he should just go to the roof, talk to eren...but it seems eren isn't the only one standing in the way of his relationship with you. everyone wants to jeopardize it and he's had enough. so he's walking upstairs, not second guessing himself as he makes his way to the bathroom. he's been to this mansion many times before, his mother always having dinner with the owner of it to get into their good graces.

it doesn't take long before he finds it, the hallway is empty and he can hear abby inside. giggling nonsense to herself as she pees. she's drunk. probably wouldn't even remember his face.

he's not sure what he exactly plans to do but the second the door opens, he's immediately shoving her back inside. hands going to rest against her throat and mouth. fuck, he should've thought this through but all he can see right now is blind fury. people keep trying to tear you two apart and it's fucking with his brain. makes him so furious he just wants to punch everything in sight.

abby is screeching, trying to get out of his grip but she's a petite girl. barely weighing a hundred pounds. her back is to his chest and he prays she won't recognize him by the sound of his voice but even if she did...who cares? no one would believe her anyways. so he chuckles, not bothering to mask his voice.

"why do you keep getting in my way abby?" he sighs, applying a bit more pressure to her throat to which she whimpers at. "i don't want to hurt you so let this be a warning, hmm? stay away from y/n. never talk to her again, don't even think about her. that friendship is dead as of tonight? don't you think so?"

she only whimpers louder, trying to free herself so he applies even more pressure. she's now choking, little gasps trying to come out. "you're all trying to ruin her, it's so fucking annoying. just away, okay? it's simple enough, right? i'm going to let go now, don't turn around, don't scream unless you want me to break your windpipe? do you want that, abby?"

he's not sure he even knows how to break a damn windpipe, at least not yet but she doesn't know that. she nods frantically, tears flowing down her cheeks and onto armin's fingers. "great, now run away. all the way home." he lets her go and she doesn't need to be told twice as she bolts out of the room.

well, that was easy. he refrains from laughing as he leans on the doorway. she was all bark and no fight. always insulting armin but suddenly turning into a pathetic, sniveling bitch once he actually does something in retaliation.

he's feeling confident tonight, smiling ear to ear as he walks towards an open bedroom. the balcony door is wide open and he steps out onto it. climbing onto the roof doesn't take much effort, he's been doing it with eren for years.

speaking of eren.

another problem he needs to fix.

getting eren drunk isn't a hard thing to do. it only took a few minutes on the roof before he was slurring his speech. fortunately armin got them both back down on the balcony before the other could gravely injure himself.

injuring his best friend badly isn't on his to do list. at least physically. eren grips his forearm as armin lays him down on a random chair, the summer air causing eren's hair to flow around.

he understands why y/n is so smitten, he guesses. he's a pretty good looking guy. but so is armin. isn't he? he got rid of that haircut he would always get teased for, went to the gym a few nights and developed actual abs, don’t girls love abs...so why him? is it because he's popular? maybe cause he didn't wait eons to make a move like armin is currently doing.

whatever.

soon enough, he's going to be out of the equation.

eren's too inebriated to even realize where he is. this won't be hard, not one bit. "eren." armin sings. "i dare you to punch that railing." he leans against said railing, watching eren's sluggish movements as he stands up.

he's a jock, they love stupid dares. especially when they're drunk. eren scoffs in disbelief, offended armin even had to dare him. like he would've done it regardless. "easy."

"you sure you won't hurt yourself?" at least too badly.

he rolls his eyes and before armin can blink, his knuckles are slamming into the railing. he actually did it. why are jocks so easy? "that was so weak." armin challenges. "lame."

eren punches it again without saying anything, then again and again and armin has to hold him back and push him back on the chair before he's breaking his own bones. he examines his knuckles, bruised and bloodied. just like he wanted them. "h..how was that? cool right?" he slurs, smiling happily to himself.

admin nods, "very cool. now go to sleep." he hums lightly, patting the others head again until he's snuggling into the chair.

armin waits a few minutes until he's sure eren's finally sleeping. he walks towards the wall, letting out a few puffs to brace himself. he's doing all this for you. it'll be fine. he can do it.

he doesn't allow himself to think twice before he's slamming his forehead into the wall. fuck. fuck that hurts. but he can do it. it's for y/n. it's for their relationship. he can do it. so he does it again, and again until blood is dripping down his face.

fucking hell, it hurts.

he winces as he takes out his phone, wiping the blood on the wall with the sleeve of his sweater. he dials your number and you answer on the first ring. so perfect. so damn perfect.

"hey! where'd you disappear to?" your chirpy voice says on the other line.

"y/n." he makes sure to add emphasis on his voice, "c-can you come upstairs to the balcony? second bedroom on your right."

"uh...sure. are you okay?"

he decides to hang up at that, you're coming so there's no reason to continue talking. dots start to form in his eyes, he should've expected that. slamming your head repeatedly onto a wall will do that to someone.

you arrive not twenty seconds later, hurrying up into the room and gasping once you see the sight of him. "oh my gosh!" you rush over, placing a hand on his shoulder as your examine his face. "what ha—" it's then that you notice a sleeping eren in the seat next to you two.

and normally you wouldn't even jump to such a conclusion but with the way eren's knuckle is bruised...armin left little to be assumed. "don't tell me..." you trail off, eyes widening with disbelief as you look between the two of them.

"it's fine." armin breaths out, squinting his eyes shut at the pain. "he—he must've gotten too drunk and—it's fine."

"it's not fine!" you exclaim. "he...oh gosh why would he do that?"

he stands up from the seat he's been leaning against. "he was drunk, he wasn't thinking straight. it's my fault for mentioning mikasa knowing how—"

"mikasa?" your voice is so meek it has him finally looking at you. you look hurt, like a wounded little deer and although it pains him—he's only doing this to help you. you'll see it soon enough.

"yeah, all i did was mention how if he doesn't hurry and man up, she'll be swept away by some other guy on campus. you know how mikasa is, everyone loves her and i guess he got too mad. my fault for messing with true love." he chuckles, trying to lighten to the atmosphere. "sorry, that last part was cheesy but truly i'm—are you okay?"

your bottom lip is sucked in between your teeth anxiously, slight tears forming in your eyes. "f-fine."

"are my injuries really making you cry? wow, didn't know you cared so much."

he tries not to think about the fact you're actually crying over eren. fucking eren.

you let out a forced laugh, "y-yeah." you sniff. "let's get you home. him too."

"is he usually so...violent?" you ask once you two are in the car, driving eren home. "and don't you need stitches for that or something?"

"not usually so violent. i only see him get so worked up when it's something he's truly passionate about."

"...right."

"and for the stitches part? i don't think so." at least he hopes not.

you nod.

"he's my best friend, i'm not sure he didn't mean to do it."

"he still hurt you though, that's messed up." you look at him, frown visible on your face. "your face is too adorable to get a fist punched into it."

"adorable?" he gasps, making a turn. "i'm hot. i'd like to think i stopped being adorable right when i entered college."

you laugh, "yeah. i guess."

"you guess what?" he asks, teasing smile on his face.

you smile, "you're...hot. there? did i boost your ego enough?"

"you have no idea, angel."

you're taken back by the pet-name but then realize it probably has to do with your outfit as you lean back onto the chair, staring at the passing houses.

eren's cozy in his bed a couple minutes later, snuggling into the pillows. "wonder what he's gonna feel when he wakes up knowing he beat the crap out of his best friend." you murmur, watching him on the bed.

"he did not beat the crap out of me!" armin scoffs, defensively. you giggle, "those bruises look pretty serious to me."

"doesn't mean he beat the crap out of me! it's just harmless bruises."

"sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

he walks closer to you, "he really didn't. unless you haven't noticed, i've grown from that scrawny boy a years back. i can handle a fight."

"yeah, i've noticed but eren goes to the gym like a million times a day—"

"but did eren take a year of marital arts?" he counters.

"the dude is built like a bodybuilder, i doubt he needs marital arts."

"that's where you're wrong, dear y/n. brains win over brawn anytime."

"except for tonight." you say, mischievous glint in your eyes.

he blows air out through his lips in disbelief and it's only when he sees you squint at the movement that he realizes how close they are together. so close that all he needs to do is lean in a few inches and your lips are touching. should he? you're watching him intensely, like you also want to know what his next move is.

do you want him to? he doesn't know. he planned much more experiences to get you to realize he's the one for you. he doesn't want your first kiss with him to be in eren's bedroom, of all places. but maybe a petty part of him does want that. a way of getting back at eren for what he did. for almost taking you away from armin.

your eyes flicker up, staring at him before flicking back down to his lips. it seems you want to make the first move as your lips brush against his and armin has to will himself to not fall down because his knees feel like they're going to give out any second. holy...is this really happening? he's been waiting for this his entire life. for you to finally...fuck, your fingers idly play with the buttons of his shirt before you're deepening the kiss.

he doesn't know why but he pulls away, "why should i kiss you y/n?" he asks, voice teasing yet stern at the same time.

your body heats up from embarrassment, "i—don't you like me? the fort—"

"do i like you?" he could almost scoff at the stupid question. "do you like me?"

you look up at him, stumbling for words to say to that. you look like he's just asked you to commit murder, biting harshly on your bottom lip before breathing out. "y-yes." your voice is so timid. "i've always liked you."

oh?

oh.

"and yet you were under eren like a whore the entire night." he's not sure why he allowed that to come out but he did. you inhale sharply, quickly shaking your head. "n—no. i—"

"what? it's not like you two tried to hide it. with the way you were giggling, the way you were moaning his name."

"you saw that?"

"of course i did. how can i kiss you when you've been with eren? moaning his name, crying for him to go deeper. do you you think you deserve my kiss, y/n?" he keeps his face impassive but he's filled with glee on the inside. at the humiliation on your face, the guilt.

"i-i'm sorry!" you stammer. "i s-slept with him and i...i admit i do like him but it's clear he doesn't feel the same way an—"

"so what? i'm just a second resort?"

"no!" you quickly deny. "i've liked you for so long, armin but you've made it clear you didn't want this friendship to continue. and after this morning...and tonight i don't want to let more years pass by before i confess my feelings a—i'm sorry for what i did with eren—i really...i'm sorry." your eyelashes have tears on them, fingers digging into his shirt as you try not to full on break down.

it's so adorable. you've always been a crybaby. "i probably don't deserve it but...please...please kiss me." your bottom lip trembles.

"well go on, kiss me." he wanted to tease more, have you grovel and beg but how can he? when you're looking so desperate for just one kiss.

have you really? always liked him? has he been so blind to not notice? fucking idiot. so you have always been on the right track, you've always known what you wanted. it's others who stopped you from achieving what you truly wanted. others and armin's stupid decisions.

he allows you to lean in, your nails almost digging into his cheeks as you kiss him. he instantly wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you closer. you tilt your head to the side to get a better angle, and just as your tongues meet, armin pulls out again which elicits a whimper from you. "what..."

he grabs your jaw harshly, fingertips digging into the sides as he forces you to open your mouth. you look so pretty like this for him. dressed in white with a damn halo over your head as you look at him with that expression on your face. eyes just begging for you to be fucked. he doesn't think as he spits in your mouth and you whimper but don't protest.

he lets go and you swallow without a second thought, eyes focused on him. he can see why eren was so rough that night, you're just asking for it. "you let him fuck you, y/n. let him touch you."

should he even be acting so possessive right now? he should save that for later, when he's wired the fact you belong to him and only him into your brain. but that look in your eyes...it seems you already know. and his cock twitches at the possibility. do you? do you already know who you belong to y/n?

he drags you back until your back bumps against the dresser, his hand grabs your cunt which is practically aching for him already. "you let him touch this. this which belongs to me." he says into your ear and you whimper, clenching his shirt.

"s—sorry, p—lease please i'm so—nngh!" armin pinches your clit, mercilessly digging his fingers into the sensitive bud.

"who does this belong to?"

slick is already forming, coating his fingers. tears gather in your eyes, "y-you."

it's like fireworks went off inside of him, like he's finally seeing the light after years and years of pining. you do know. you know that every inch of you belongs to him, that you weren't made for anyone else. you were made for him. only him.

you shiver as his lips plant soft kisses on your chest, his hand gripping your hip. those hips he's always had too many fantasies about to count. he bites down, wanting everyone to see his marks on you. to see who you belong to. his teeth nip on your chest, jaw, chin, neck—anywhere he can leave marks.

he just wants to make you feel good, so good you forget about all your other past partners. he roughly turns you around so you can see yourself in the mirror behind you, your hands lean on the dresser, a dazed look already in your eyes. "you don't care that he's here?" armin whispers.

you shake your head, "i don't. please armin, fuck me."

you let out a wonderful moan as he pulls your dress up, ripping your panties and throwing them on the ground. he dives a finger inside of your needy cunt, "fuck!" you whimper.

"does it hurt?" he mocks. he doubts it does. not with the way you're trembling with pleasure under his touch. "i'm sorry angel but you don't deserve lube. not after everything you put me through me."

you nod helplessly, not even disagreeing with his words. "i'm so sorry." tears fall down your cheeks, eyes looking back into his through the mirror.

you're so weak for his touch and it's so gratifying. it's all he's ever wanted.  "you're so pretty, so tight just for me." he inserts another finger, curling them until your legs start shaking under your own weight. he holds you up, teeth grazing your neck and peppering kisses on your back.

it's so hot. everything feels so hot as the moans travel out of your lips, the sound of his fingers inside of you followed by your high pitched whining. it's almost too much. eren is right there and although he's not waking up anytime soon, it's just...fuck. it takes another finger before you're spilling onto his hand, guttural moan escaping your lips as you almost fall down.

he smiles in ecstasy, bringing his fingers to his lips and shamelessly licking every single white spot he finds on them. why would he be ashamed? he's been waiting for this his entire life. this is all he could ever ask for. "it tastes just like candy." he grins near your ear.

you shiver, "please...please fuck me."

he doesn't allow himself any more stalling, he's gonna have the rest of your lives together to taste and tease you. right now, all he wants to do is sink into that tight heat. so he does. and you both moan at the feeling. it's so hot, taking it in like armin's cock was always meant to be there. and it was, wasn't it?

"fuck..." he grips your hips, starting to thrust up. the arousal eating him up.

"so—big." you choke out as he starts to fill you up all the way. "feels so good..." you grip his cock so perfectly. everything you do is so perfect.

he starts to thrust harder once you've adjusted, not sparing any time as he pounds into you. the items on the dresser start to shake, moving around but none of you care enough. skin slaps against skin, his fingers clench your hips while yours dig into the dresser. he grins at the way your mouth falls open, tongue lolling around as you're helpless to way he's drilling into you.

you love this. it's so evident on your face. you love the fact it's armin behind you, the fact it's him inside of you right now. you didn't even ask for a condom...fuck how perfect would that be? you filled up with his babies. he could almost cum just at the thought.

but he doesn't. instead he increases his pace, fucking you eagerly. "wanted this for so long. fuck, you're so tight. feels so good. you're so perfect. so so perfect."

you let out a wet sob, whether at his actions or words—he doesn't know but he relishes the sound. "you like that y/n? being pounded into like you're nothing? while the guy you claim to like sleeps not even five feet away? it's pathetic." he chuckles.

and he's not usually so mean. he won't be during your other sexual activities. no he'll treat you like a princess, like the perfect angel you are. but right now, he's angry. and you need to know your place.

"suh—sorry." you cry out. "won't do it again. so sorry." you shake your head, grinding your ass back to meet his thrusts.

you throw your head back, mouth parted and begging for a kiss to which armin gives. your tongues meet, swirling around together as he licks into your perfect mouth. you two moan into each others mouths as armin continues his pace and—fuck he has to almost slap himself for being an idiot and not doing this sooner as he brings his hand around to cup your right breast, clenching it tightly and you moan deliciously at the contact.

he grips it as your tongue goes to lick his teeth, licking anything really. you're so needy. just as needy as him. your moans get even louder and he's thankful eren's parents are out on some business trip cause he's pretty sure the entire neighborhood can hear you right now. "so—ah! so good armin. you make me feel so good." you say, voice airy. "please fill me up, please i want your cum."

he's pretty sure those exact words are the reason for the orgasm that happens not two seconds later. he grips your waist tightly, cock deep inside as he empties everything in you. you practically scream, legs shaking as armin continues to grind into you. making you feel every single inch of him. because it all belongs to you.

"so perfect." he pants, resting his sweaty forehead on your back. "so perfect."

would now be a good time to say he loves you?

you’re avoiding him.

at first he just thought you were just a bit shy considering the circumstances, you two were close friends then went through a period of barely speaking to each other for months only for him to end up fucking you in someone else’s bedroom.

so he gave you time to process all of that but it’s been two weeks...how much more time do you need? the first week he tried to stay calm but now it’s getting too much, the last time he gave you space you two didn’t speak for so long. that was his fault and he won’t make it again, he can’t go through that again. not after finally having a taste of you.

he sighs deeply, digging his fingers under the pillow and taking out the pink lace bra he took out of your drawer the other day. he just misses you too much. it feels like he can’t breath whenever you awkwardly walk out of a room once you see him, how you deliberately ignore his unwavering gaze, how you haven’t said even a single word to him.

it fills him up with anxiety and he needs to find a way to release somehow so he shamelessly acquired this piece of material. it’s not like he’s committed some crime, he just needed to find a way to be near you. to feel you again.

he wishes he could see it on you, maybe he’ll ask you to keep it on next time you two make love again. his hand was under his sweatpants the second he felt himself harden, quickly tugging on his length until he was panting into the pillow. “y/n...” he moans.

he needs you. needs to taste you, touch your soft skin and feel it under his fingertips. needs to hear your moans, see your scrunched up eyebrows and dazed out eyes as he pounds into you...fuck you’d be clawing at his shoulders just like that night. you’d be so tight as sweat drips down both of your bodies.

he grips his cock tighter, toes curled and eyes shut tight as the bra is held to his chest. if only he could live between your legs forever, feeling your tight heat and hearing your pretty little sounds. he’d never want to leave.

you’ve been gone all day, barely been around the last two weeks and he had no idea how much his schedule depended on you being near. even when he was ignoring you, most of the things he did throughout the day consisted of taking care of you. making sure you got to your classes, took your morning jokes safely, how he used to watch you study in the library and so much more. but he didn’t even know where you were now, he had your entire routine memorized back on campus. it definitely isn’t the same now that school was temporarily over.

loneliness was creeping in. he doesn’t know what to do without you. it’s not like he could study to pass the time anymore. fuck. all he needed was one more tug before he was releasing all over his hand.

that was unsatisfactory. it’s not like the real thing. masturbating does nothing anymore once he’s actually been inside of you. he groans, frustration threatening to take him apart as he gets up and walks towards the bathroom. it only takes a few minutes before he’s cleaned up and changed his clothes, ready to go to sleep.

but then he hears something.

rustling outside, right under his window. then he hears your soft voice, uttering something he can’t quite hear. he walks closer to it, thankful he left it slightly open.

what he sees...is definitely not what he expected.

his fingers unconsciously clench the window handle, almost breaking his nails in the process as he watches eren—eren walking down the lawn and into the street.

he was...he was in your room? he didn’t hear the front door open and there’s no other way for eren to have walked in unless he climbed that tree next to the two rooms. why was he in your room?

armin tastes blood in his mouth, biting down on his tongue so harshly that his teeth pierced into it. while he was in here, agonizing over your absence—you were in there with him. doing who knows what.

well, it’s pretty obvious what you were up to as he watches the pep in eren’s steps.

fucking hell.

he thought he fixed that.

are the healing bruises in his face just...fuck why are you with him? he shakes his head, trying to calm down but it’s pointless at this rate. he should’ve done more, he would’ve done more but then you suddenly came onto him that night and he thought he had won. apparently not.

playing nice is pointless. it seems you like men like eren regardless of the crappy actions they do. what’s wrong with you?

he’s walking to your bedroom in the next second, fists clenching and unclenching. what’s wrong with you? he goes to knock but then scoffs bitterly before sharply opening the door, hearing the sound of it smacking against the wall.

you’re on your bed, gasping and eyes widening at the abrupt action and sound. “armin—what—”

you’re just wearing an oversized shirt...that is definitely not his. looks like eren’s old football jersey. fucking hell. what is wrong with you, y/n?

“are you serious?” he breathes out, nails digging into the flesh of his palms. “are you fucking serious?” he takes a step forward and you anxiously scoot back on the bed.

“what are you doing?” you ask like he’s in the wrong. like he’s the one acting like a little confusing, manipulative whore.

“why are you doing this to me, y/n?” he grits out. “why?”

“doing what?” you raise your voice a bit, pursing your lips. the look in your eyes tells him you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“what’s so special about him? please tell me cause i don’t understand. why’d you go back to him even after everything he did? he doesn’t even love you—not like i do, how many times do i have to say no one loves you like i do?” he’s in front of you in a second, hands clenching your shoulders and slightly shaking you.

“y-you’re acting weird, armin.” your bottom lip starts to quiver. “you’re scaring me.”

“i’m scaring you?” he laughs. “not the man who almost beat me to a pulp? but it’s me who scares you?”

“l-like you said—he was drunk so...so he didn’t mean to! he said he apologized—”

“that’s not the point!” he yells, startling you. your eyes are widen to the point they look like they’re going to fall out but he doesn’t care. what’s wrong with you? “he’s brash, rude, inconsiderate. he could care less about you and trust me the second summer is over, he’s ditching your ass for someone else and yet you still pin after him? is that what you like y/n? do you enjoy getting walked over like a damn doormat by everyone? your parents, historia, abby and now eren? what the fuck is wrong with you?”

tears are gathering in your eyes, you bring your hands up to his and push them off of your shoulders. “you’re being mean.”

“i thought you liked that? unless it’s coming from me right? you allow everyone else to treat you like crap then come crawling to me with tears in your damn eyes when you need a safety net.” he seethes. “everyone else can be jackasses, except for me. i always need to be your perfect little armin.”

“what is your problem?” you stand up, facing him. trying to appear strong when you both know it’s all an act. you can barely stand up for yourself without crying. “you’re the one who ignored me for—”

“not this crap again. you’re the one who came onto me that night, saying you’re mine, begging me to fuck you and then you suddenly ignore me and go right back to eren even after everything.” he throws his hands up in the air.

“i like eren.” you exhale shakily, seems like those three words were the only ones you were capable of forming at the moment.

“you said you liked me too, remember? how you always liked me—”

“i was drunk that night, armin.” it’s said so nonchalantly, like it’s the actual truth but he knows better. he was watching you most of the night and you didn’t even go near a cup of alcohol.

fuck, he wants nothing more than to grip and throw you on that bed. fuck into you like the slut you apparently are and hear your soft noises. but it seems—it seems you don’t want that from him. you want that from eren. you want eren to be the big bad wolf and for armin to be your safe sanctuary whenever things get too rough.

he doesn’t want that. he wants to be your everything.

why can’t you allow that?

“so, what? you don’t want me?”

if being rough won’t work then he can try an alternative. it doesn’t matter if it makes him look pathetic, he needs you.

and the pain he’s in right now is excruciating, blurring his vision with tears. “can’t you at least try then y/n?” he walks over, hands suddenly grasping your wrists. the hold was rigid, crushing and even he was surprised at the sheer force of it. like he was trying to break something. “you can try to want me, to love me? can’t you? is it that hard? after everything i’ve done for you, you want to just leave me behind in the dust? everything i’ve done means nothing to you?”

you whimper, shaking your head no. “t—that’s not it. i just—” tears start to trail down your face, tiny sobs filling the room. “it’s not you, it’s me.”

“really? that crap line—”

“it’s the truth!” you exclaim, facing him again. “i...i don’t deserve you, armin. being with people like eren is better because even when i screw up, it won’t matter. b-but if we do get together than i’ll just mess everything up and hurt you and then i’ll lose you and i don’t wanna—i don’t want to lose you. i can’t.” you babble.

he stares at you, shock written all over his face. and disbelief, pure disbelief. that’s what you’re scared of? “the only thing that’s hurting me is you being with eren. it’s fucking kill me, y/n.” he chokes out. “and how many times do i have to tell you that i’ll never leave.”

“you left before.” you say, voice barley above a whisper. “you just left me alone to face everything and then you get mad cause of my choices—”

“i’m sorry, i regret doing that. so, so much.” he cups your cheeks, finally letting go of your wrist and it’s only then does he see the slight bruises his grip left on your wrist. fuck, why do you look so pretty with his marks?

“but that was the last time. i’m never leaving you again. i love you y/n. you’re all i need and i’m all you need, okay?” he leans his forehead against yours, taking in your everything. “okay?”

“but you can’t see the future, what if—”

“no.” he snaps, voice filled with finality. the only way he’s ever going to be apart from you is if the claws of death try to sink their way into him and even then, he’d find a way back to you. he can’t be without you. not anymore. it’s not even an option. “i won’t. i promise. okay?”

you stay silent for a minute, tears still streaming down as you sniff. “okay.” you rest your face in the crook of his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, please forgive me.” you sob.

that’s exactly what you said that night and you still went and betrayed him. and yes you cleared things up. he knows it was all because of insecure, self sabotaging thoughts that pierced their way into you but what if they come back? what if you do that again? he can’t see you with eren anymore, he won’t be able to control his actions if he does. he backs away, taking your jaw into his hand and staring at you.

“you won’t do that again, will you?” he’s not asking. the tone in his voice makes it clear committing something as atrocious as that isn’t even a possibility anymore.

you nod meekly, doe eyes staring into yours with a hint of fear but this time he doesn’t care. if a bit of fear will keep you from shattering his heart again, then he hopes it sticks forever.

“i won’t.” you smile timidly.

good.

he’s inside of you not ten minutes later, chest covering your back as he fondles your breast. leaving marks anywhere he can. you’re his. and he’ll make sure everyone knows it. teeth sinking into fragile flesh with no mercy and with the way you cry out, you don’t seem to mind.

you’re yelping with every thrust, fingers clenching the sheets and his end goal is take several rounds throughout the night, pound into you until you’re non verbal. barely able to even let out tiny whimpers. he wants you so fucked out that no other cock will fill you up the way he does. and most certainly not eren’s.

he can tell he’s close, quickly flipping you around so you’re straddling him now, hands wrapping around your neck as you cry out. he smirks at the sight in front of him, purple marks covering your body, tear filled eyes and uncontrollable noises of pleasure.

so perfect.

it’s all he’s ever wanted.

he grips your waist, pistons in and out to the point you’re screaming. does historia hear that? hears you scream for him, evidence you’re his now. not theirs anymore. they can’t control you anymore, can’t taint what he loves any longer. armin’s the only one for you.

“oh—oh fuck.” you sniff through the tears, bouncing on top of him. that lace bra snug on your chest. you wore it just for him, just cause he asked.

“do you love me?” he pants, grip tightening.

you nod dumbly, without a second thought. “i do...i love you. i love you so much, armin.”

“good.” he smiles. fucking fantastic.

“you belong to me, right? you don’t need them anymore? right?” he practically begs.

you whimper, staying silent a second too long so he angles this next thrust into your sweet spot

causing you to yelp. “y-yes! i’m yours, i don’t need them.” you confirm.

“you don’t need anyone but me.”

“i don’t need anyone but you.” you whine, leaning your head onto his. “and you don’t need anyone but me, r-right?”

what kind of question is that? of course he doesn’t need anyone else. he’s never needed anyone else. if he could burn the entire world down with you two as the only survivors, he would. he wants you to himself, wants you to only have him. forever and always.

“of course.”

[adampage]

Things I Learned About Hangman Adam Page Today:

He recently bought a pair of caiman leather boots

He is a frugal son of a bitch but like for good reason bc you never know when your luck is gonna run out

His son keeps him up and his wife up all the time which means he only gets good rest in his hotel room when he has to be somewhere for a dynamite show

He is just as frustrated as we are at the fact that he wasn’t able to wrestle this whole time when he should’ve been a fighting champion

Either Renee put the cowprint idea in his head or she fucking guessed correctly (that little open mouthed gape/smile Hangy gave when she said it could be either but god fucking bless)

He used to have really bad diagnosed anxiety like the dude would go full-on sweat mode but wrestling helped him get over a lot of those issues. He still has bad social anxiety though

New setting for Hangman fics: treehouse in a cow pasture on his dad’s farm

The belt is super fucking heavy and Renee knows this which means she’s tried picking it up before when Mox was champ g!rl help me

He really adores the fan art and the videos and stuff that people make for him. He thinks that’s top tier level shit

Merle Haggard is one of his favorite old country singers

He had a small attack realising he was letting us down by not dishing out what romantic things he’s done for his wife like he said “what is wrong with me” and then said something like “sometimes the most romantic things are the little gestures, like waking up in the middle of the night and trying to give the baby the bottle for an hour” nice save cowboy you’re a fucking mess i love you

His self worth is really tied to the championship because Renee asked him who between Kenny and Bryan was the best in the world and he said it was a tough one but since neither has the championship he’d have to say himself and yowie wowie i am not prepared for those self esteem issues to bite him in the ass again but glad to know he feels good about himself for now

He has no clue who the person on the graphics team is that is writing his lower thirds but he’s tried to put snitches in the production truck to no avail. He treats this like a feud so something tells me he missed the lower third at Full Gear this year where it said “we’re proud of you - graphics team” and personally i think he needs to plant one of his former students on the team (since they ARE hiring)

He wanted to have a feud with Brodie and that’s why he gave us those little bits on BTE with him and when Brodie passed he felt it was a disservice to him to not continue going with it in the most organic way possible, and while he didn’t say this next part, I can only surmise that’s why him and the Dark Order continued to have segments with each other and became each other’s support after Brodie passed

He does not appreciate people coming up to him at the airport and in hotels. Please leave him alone. A hotel is like his front doorstep, he treats his hotel room like his home for the night and no he doesn’t want you trespassing on his front porch

He lied about not doing interviews anymore now that he’s champ

Link for the full interview in the source! Those were my own main takeaways but I’m sure I missed a few things. I just adore this man so much and I’m glad he did an interview with Renee, she always asks the questions I want to hear the answers to.

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Hongjoong: Tame (Part 2)

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, mafia au.

Pairing: Mafia!Hongjoong x OC (written in 2nd person)

Word Count: 17k in total, 4.8k in this part. (Part 1, Part 3, Final Part)

Warnings for all parts combined: Mafia themes such as torture, abuse, violence, human auctions, murder, drugs, guns. Mentions of rape, human trafficking, sex slavery, organ trafficking, unprotected sex (pulling out), facesitting.

Other than Ateez, all other names are fictional.

You woke up in a room that was similar to the one you were in at the human auction. You shivered in fear. Was your cousin really going to sell you now?

You broke down in tears. You didn't expect things to turn out this way at all. You wished you knew where your father was so that you could report your uncle and his son easily.

The door of the room you were in opened and a man walked in. "Ah! You're awake!"

"Where am I?" you asked Bojoon, glaring at him with disgust.

"At an auction, sweetheart." Your heart dropped. "Let's hope someone buys you for a very high price." You felt your stomach churn with anxiety. Who was going to help you now? You wished you hadn’t gone to the club.

"But before that..." he stepped forward to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm going to make you scream."

He moved his hand slowly from your cheek, down to your chest. "Stop," you whispered, earning a hard slap from him. He pushed you against the wall, forcing his knee in between your legs. Your cheek stung badly and you were sure his hand would’ve left a mark.

He snarled, harshly pulling on your hair. "Don't you dare open your mouth, you fucking bitch!"

He ripped the top part of your dress in half, exposing your upper body that was now only covered by your bra. You brought your hands up to cover yourself, but he pushed them away. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a pocket knife, making a large cut on your arm. You whimpered in pain, eyes filling with tears. He smirked at the cut that had began to bleed.

"Blood, my favorite! Ah, this makes it more exciting, doesn't it?" you didn’t reply, trying to control the urge to break down.

He moved his hands to your thighs. "Let's have some fun now, shall we?"

Bojoon was just about to touch your core, but someone snuck up behind him, piercing his neck with a syringe.

You slid down the wall, eyes scrunched closed and ears covered while Bojoon screamed in pain. In a few seconds, the screaming stopped and you heard him fall to the floor with a thud. You slowly peaked, finding Bojoon unconscious on the floor. Was he dead?

You glanced up at the two figures who were present in the room, both dressed in all black; one of them was smaller than the other. Both of them were wearing a black mask and hat. The bigger one approached you, kneeling down. He took his leather jacket off, wrapping it around your body.

"Wear it. It's cold," he said softly, helping you slide your arms into the sleeves. He zipped the jacket up to the top before helping you stand up. The jacket came right below your knee.

"Let's get out of here fast, Yunho," the smaller one said and you recognized him. You were surprised you couldn’t recognize Yunho by his voice.

"San…?"

"Yes, it's me, Kiah," San replied and you sighed in relief before breaking down in tears again.

San approached you and slowly pulled you into his arms. "Shh, you're safe now. We won't let anyone hurt you, alright?" You didn’t say anything while you cried onto his chest, tears soaking his shirt.

"Kiah, we have to get out of here before his men come here," Yunho remarked. "Can I carry you?" You nodded and Yunho took you from San's arms, lifting you bridal-style.

"Yeosang, is the area clear?" San questioned through his earpiece.

"Yes, but there's someone at the exit," Yeosang informed.

"Got it," San said before turning to Yunho. "Alright, let's go. Kiah, just close your eyes, okay?" You nodded, obeying him.

You could feel Yunho running fast with you in his arms. You heard a gunshot, making you let out a scream, scrunching your eyes tightly.

"Don't worry. I’ve got you," Yunho whispered to you.

After a few more seconds, you felt Yunho place you on a car seat. You opened your eyes, watching Yunho close the car door and run to the driver's seat. San quickly slides into shotgun before shooting someone who came out of the building.

Yunho immediately started to drive and San shifted to the backseat, sitting beside you. He took off his mask and hat, ruffling his hair with his hand.

"Are you okay?" San asked worriedly.

"Y-Yeah," your voice broke and you began to cry. San pulled you into his arms, letting you cry on him again. There was a lot of blood dripping down your arm from the cut Bojoon gave you.

"Yunho, how far are we from home?" San questioned. "Kiah's bleeding and we don't have a first aid kit in this car."

"We're about two kilometers away," Yunho answered, speeding up.

In about three minutes, you reached Ateez's mansion. This time, San carried you inside, walking at a fast pace.

"Yeosang! Seonghwa!" he yelled before setting you down on the couch in a room that looked like a medical laboratory. There was another room attached to it and you could obviously tell that it was an operating room. You weren’t surprised as you knew Ateez had enough money to have their own mini hospital at home.

The two men cautiously approached you, not wanting to accidentally trigger you in any way after they were filled in about what happened.

"I'm fine," you told them.

Seonghwa sat beside you, slowly touching your arm. "Can I?" he asked and you nodded. He pushed the sleeve of Yunho's black leather jacket up, revealing the bleeding cut. “Could you take the jacket off so that I can treat you?” you did as he said.

He cleaned the cut with cotton dipped in lukewarm water and you flinched at the sting. Looking down at the cut, you noticed how it was wider on one side.

"You will need stitches," Seonghwa stated. You glanced at the cut; he was right, of course.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Yeosang asked.

You shook your head. "No... Only my head hurts." Seonghwa started to gather whatever he needed to stitch up your wound.

Yeosang nodded. "I'll give you a painkiller for your head." He said, moving to the cabinet.

"Okay," you replied before turning to look at San and Yunho. “Thank you…”

"You don't have to thank us, Kiah," Yunho said with a smile. "We're just glad you're safe."

After Seonghwa stitched and bandaged your wound, he asked you a few questions about how you were feeling while Yeosang made you take a painkiller.

A loud bang was heard and Hongjoong stormed into the room.

"Do you even realize what you've fucking done?!" Hongjoong yelled at you in a stern tone. He looked extremely angry; it actually really scared you.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, lowering your head in shame.

He scoffed. "You should be fucking sorry! And you two," he turned to face San and Yunho who looked just as scared as you. "How dare you both start your own little mission without asking me, hmm?! We made a deal with Moon Younghyun long ago that we will not interfere in their personal matters and they won't interfere in ours! Do you even realize who you killed?! You killed his fucking son!" You flinched at the way he was yelling. "You've put yourselves and our entire gang in unnecessary danger!"

"We didn't kill him," San mumbled, not making eye contact with Hongjoong. "We only made him unconscious."

"And you went through all that fucking bullshit for what?" Hongjoong pointed a finger at you. "To get this damn chick out?! She doesn't even want to be here!" You felt really bad that the boys were getting scolded because of you.

"She was going to get sold again, hyung," Yunho mumbled while looking at the floor.

Hongjoong chuckled bitterly. "So what? Like I said before, she doesn't want to be here. She escaped from us, right? Why the fuck are you so bothered about her?! Whether she gets sold or not, it's not our fucking problem!" Your eyes teared up; you felt so guilty for escaping.

"That's enough, Hongjoong," Seonghwa stated sternly.

"Don't take their side when you know that they're wrong, Seonghwa," Hongjoong retorted.

"Do you even know what Moon Younghyun's son was going to do to Kiah?"

"No, and I seriously don't care about what he was going—"

"He was going to rape her, Hongjoong. He already assaulted her," Seonghwa explained, cutting Hongjoong off. "Fortunately, San and Yunho got there in time."

There was pin-drop silence in the room.

Hongjoong opened his mouth a couple of times to say something, but nothing came out. He looked like he was in deep thought.

"I… I'm sorry," he whispered, not looking at you, before leaving the room. You wondered what suddenly came over him.

"Is he okay?" you questioned.

"Don't worry about it," Seonghwa said with a small smile. He exchanged a glance with Yeosang who nods and leaves the room as well. You were pretty confused by their glance-communication, but you didn't say anything.

"I'm really sorry,” you apologized to San and Yunho. "You both got scolded because of me."

San frowned. "Don't apologize, Kiah. We've been scolded many times before."

"Yeah," Yunho agreed with San. "Hyung is just angry because we didn't tell him about it and he’s scared to lose us. If we had informed him, he would be the first person to rescue you."

You only nod, accepting whatever they said. "By the way… how did you both find me?" You couldn’t help but ask.

"Well, Yunho and I were searching for you everywhere after you left," San explained. "We figured you'd go to a club or some bar, so we checked everywhere. Yunho saw you passing out and by the time he ran to our own car to go after you, your cousin's car was no where in sight. Yeosang had to hack into a lot of cameras in close-by areas to find out where exactly you were taken to." You nodded, listening to whatever he was saying.

"Kiah?" Yunho started in a hesitant tone. "Do you… really not want to live with us?"

You let out a sigh as you pondered about what he said. "I don't want to, honestly. There's nothing wrong with you guys, but the whole mafia lifestyle… I just didn't expect that. I really just want to become a nurse and live a normal life."

"Kiah, I'd like to mention something," Seonghwa said in a soft tone. "Your uncle has been in the mafia business since before you were even born." Your eyes widened at his words as you didn't know that; you thought your uncle was just a corrupted politician. "You were basically born into that life even if your parents aren't into it. And since you lived under his roof, you were actually constantly at risk." You only keep quiet, letting his words sink in.

"Stay with us for a week," San suggested. "If you still want to leave after that… we'll let you go."

~

The next morning, Yunho and Mingi gave you a tour around the mansion while they told you random stories of the missions they've gone on. You found yourself enjoying their company. You were quite surprised at the amount of money mafias make; you were so sure that Ateez were billionaires.

The three of you sat on the benches at the mansion's garden, getting a little sun.

"When did you both join the mafia?" you curiously asked the two giants who were literally a foot taller than you. They had such bright and bubbly personalities that you couldn't even believe they were in a mafia gang, let alone one of the most powerful gangs out there. 

"Yunho and I have been close friends ever since we were thirteen, and we joined Ateez together," Mingi said. "After my parents were murdered when I was seventeen, Yunho's parents took me in. But since I witnessed my parents' murder and saw the murderers' faces, they came after Yunho's family and killed his parents while searching for me because I had escaped before they could kill me as well."

"But we got our sweet revenge after we joined Ateez," Yunho added with a smirk. "Hongjoong came up to us during my parents' funeral and promised to kill the murderers if we joined his gang. He kept his word and the murderers were, in fact, another mafia gang."

"Do you ever regret joining the gang?" you questioned, curious because they joined only to take revenge.

"Nope."

"Never."

"Ateez is our family now," Yunho stated with a smile. "Hongjoong created this family and we're all genuinely happy even if this isn't a normal lifestyle. We're almost always at some risk, but we got each other's backs." Mingi nodded his head in agreement.

"Wow," was all you could say. The boys only laughed at that.

"It's a little overwhelming, I know," Mingi chuckled.

"Let's go back inside," Yunho suggested.  "It's cold out here, you know?" You and Mingi nodded before making your way inside the mansion.

As soon as you entered the mansion, you were hit with the scent of something absolutely amazing. Mingi inhaled deeply, a wide smile immediately appearing on his face.

"Wooyoung is cooking!" Mingi squealed before running to sit on the couch in the living room. You sat beside him, and Yunho sat on the opposite couch.

"He always does, dumbass," Yeosang muttered from the kitchen while helping Wooyoung. Even Jongho was there, cutting some vegetables.

Mingi pouted a little. "Seonghwa hyung cooks sometimes too, okay! Besides, I'm really hungry."

"Food will be ready in another hour," Wooyoung informed while stirring some stew. "Why don't you eat an apple for now, Mingi?"

"Jongho," Mingi called out.

You watched Jongho wash two apples before he made his way to the living room where you, Mingi, and Yunho were seated. He stood in front of Yunho and effortlessly split one of the apples in half, handing one half of it to Yunho and putting the other half in between his teeth, leaving you dumbfounded. He split the other apple and handed one half to you and the other half to Mingi.

You glanced at Mingi and Yunho who didn't even seem fazed by Jongho's actions.

"Did I just witness the baby of the family break two apples in halves with his bare hands?" Jongho smiles brightly at your words.

"He may be the baby, but he's scary as fuck," Mingi mumbled from beside you, making you raise an eyebrow while you ate your piece of apple; you found Jongho absolutely adorable. You were about to say something, but Hongjoong came into the living room, his eyes on you.

"Can we talk?" he asked, making eye contact for barely three seconds before he turned around and walked away. You bit your lip nervously, unsure of what to do after the way he lashed out on you last night.

"Go on," Jongho said. "He won't yell at you or anything, I'm sure of it." You only nod before getting up and following Hongjoong.

You followed Hongjoong to the large library of the mansion. You didn't get to see the inside of the library when Mingi and Yunho showed you around. They said you would spend a lot of time in there anyway.

When you entered the library, your jaw dropped. The large bookshelves were floor to ceiling, and only one of the walls had a window that was floor to ceiling as well. You loved reading, so you were quite astonished at the amount of books they had in here. You could see big, thick books on one of the shelves and you just knew that they were definitely medical books. There were also large couches to lounge on while you read. It even had a fridge and a coffee maker.

Hongjoong sat down on one of the couches placed at the end. You stood there awkwardly, not uttering a word. He patted the free space beside him, signaling you to sit down.

You hesitantly move to sit down beside him, looking down at your hands and fiddling with your fingers while you waited for him to talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. Somehow, you felt quite nervous. Was he going to yell at you for causing a huge problem for his gang? Or was he going to kill you for that? If any of the two are going to happen, you were hoping for the former; you really did not want to die in a mafia's mansion… although, it wasn't that bad of a place to die in.

You heard him inhale and exhale deeply. "I'm sorry, Kiah."

You stopped playing with your fingers and looked up at him, wondering if you heard him clearly. "What…?"

"I’m sorry," he repeated, running a hand through his hair. "For lashing out on you like that without knowing what exactly happened." You were not expecting that at all, considering Hongjoong had quite the temper.  

Your eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. "Shouldn't you apologize to San and Yunho instead?"

"I already apologized to them," he remarked. "I shouldn't have yelled at you when you were in such a state."

"No, it’s okay, I understand why you did that," you mumbled, looking away. It was true, you really did understand. "I put your gang at risk."

He nodded. "Yes, you did. But I'm glad San and Yunho saved you before…" he gulped, “before anything worse could happen."

"Why?" you murmured. You really thought that he hated you after whatever happened.

Hongjoong leaned back against the couch, head titled back, staring at the ceiling.  "Because I had to witness someone I loved and cherished get raped in front of my eyes,” he said in a soft voice. "She was my sister… she didn't survive. They raped and then killed her right in front of my eyes… four months ago."  A soft gasp escaped from you; your heart felt like it just got shattered. Tears spilled from your eyes as you choked back a sob.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered to him, pulling him into a comforting hug that he immediately melted into. "I'm really sorry."

Hongjoong couldn't control his own tears. He broke down as soon as he saw your tears, unable to control himself any longer. As the leader of a powerful mafia gang, he always tried to stay strong in front of his gang members, never showing how broken he felt at times even though he knew that they knew how he felt. He just didn't want to show any signs of weakness when he has people to lead.

But right now, Hongjoong needed this. He really just wanted and needed someone to hold him while he cried his heart out.

He sniffled. "I know you hate this life, but I want you to stay with us… with me," he whispered the last part but you heard him.

"Please, let me protect you," he continued. "I will never forgive myself if anything happens to you. Please, stay here."

His words caused your heartbeat to speed up, butterflies fluttering about in your stomach. You pulled away from the embrace, reaching out to wipe his tears. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

He smiled a little, lightly placing his lips onto your head, making your heart go crazy. "Thank you, Kiah."

~

The next day during breakfast, you found two unfamiliar faces seated at the dining table with the rest of the boys and Jiwoo.

"Good morning," you greeted before you took the free seat beside Hongjoong. He gave you a smile that you couldn't help but return.

"Good morning!" A few of them said while the others just smiled at you. The dining table was filled with waffles, bacon, and cut fruits.

"Ah, so she's the little trouble!" one of the two girls with short hair said.

You chuckled. "The one and only," you replied, making her laugh.

"I like her already," she remarked with a smirk. "I believe we're the last of the members who you haven't met. I'm Aeji and she's Yeoreum." So these were Seonghwa's and Mingi's girls respectively.

"Sorry to interrupt your introduction session, ladies," Wooyoung said. "But could you please pass the chocolate syrup? My waffles are getting cold, you know?" 

Aeji snorted before passing the bottle of chocolate syrup to Wooyoung whose face lit up immediately at the sight of it.

Hongjoong put two chocolate chip waffles on your plate. "Eat well, hmm?" he said and you nodded before talking a bite of the waffle.

Your eyes widened at the taste; these were definitely the best waffles you have ever eaten in your twenty two years (and counting) of existence.

"She loves them," Aeji said to Seonghwa who gave you a happy smile while you ate.

"I'm glad," Seonghwa stated. He always felt good whenever someone enjoyed his food 

"Everyone loves whatever you make anyway," Mingi mumbled while stuffing his face. 

"So true," Yunho agreed. "If we didn't have Wooyoung and Seonghwa hyung, we would've pretty much survived on take out."

You couldn't even believe how these people were in the mafia. They just seemed so normal. At least in this very moment, they did.

All eleven of them made you feel so welcomed. Even Hongjoong was being so nice to you. When you told them that you decided on staying with them, everyone was ecstatic. You were quite surprised that they trusted you so easily; you had seen a couple of mafia movies before, and usually, the hostage isn't trusted at all. People in the mafia are portrayed as cold-hearted monsters, but these people in front of you seemed far from it.

After breakfast, you headed to the library of the mansion to check out which books they had. You were surprised to find so many fictions and comics. You pulled a book off of one of the shelves, reading the blurb on the cover at the back.

"Found something interesting?" you heard Hongjoong say from behind you, scaring you. You took a step back as reflex, your back pressed against the bookshelf. You had no idea when he entered the library.

"Fuck, you scared me!"

Hongjoong chuckled before his eyes fell to the book you were holding. "Mastering her senses," he read the title of the novel aloud . The way he said those three words made you suck in a breath; it sounded so hot. His eyes stared into yours while a smirk formed on his handsome face.

You involuntarily bit your lip and it didn't go unnoticed by him. "Have you read this book?" you questioned, looking up at him with innocent eyes despite holding a book that was erotic. 

Hongjoong took a small step towards your body that was still pressed against the bookshelf. "Mhmm, I have read it," he answered, his tongue darting out to wet his plump lips. "I like erotic romance novels," he remarked, his gaze falling to your lips for a second. His phone started ringing and he takes it out from his pocket. "You should read it," he said before walking away to answer the call.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before shakily exhaling. "Fuck," you whined, exasperated due to the dull ache you felt down there. Kim Hongjoong really just made you get aroused. You wondered if he did it on purpose or if you were just feeling that way because it has been pretty long since you got some action. You were guessing it was both.

~

Sometime before twilight, you decided to take a walk around the mansion, exploring the area more. There was a small building at the back that wasn't attached to the mansion; it was just a plain white block with a door and no windows. Mingi and Yunho didn't tell you what the building was used for when they gave you a tour around the mansion. You were quite curious to know about it now as you stared at the large steel doors that required a passcode to open.

The door of the building suddenly opened, revealing Wooyoung and Hongjoong who were having a conversation. They stopped talking when they noticed you standing a few feet away from the entrance.

"Oh? Kiah? What are you doing here?" Wooyoung asked, a little surprised to see you here of all places.

"I was taking a walk," you answered. "What is this building? Mingi and Yunho didn't tell me anything about it."

"Ah, they probably didn't want to scare you off," Hongjoong replied.

"Oh…” you murmured, obviously understanding that it had some mafia-related stuff inside.

"By the way," Wooyoung starts, making you look at him. "Uh, I don't know how else to put this, but you really need to learn how to use a gun, Kiah."

Your eyes widened. "A gun? Why?"

"To protect yourself, just in case," he answered. "Everyone saw your face at the auction and they all will assume that you're a sex slave now. If any of them find you roaming around freely, even if you're with any of us, they might abduct you." Wooyoung's words made a chill run down your spine, but you acted like as if you were fine. Honestly, you were terrified, and they both could see that.

"Okay," you agreed without a second thought.

"I'll teach her," Hongjoong said, earning a nod from Wooyoung. He looked at you, giving you a small smile. "Do you want to start now?"

"Sure," you answered and he took your hand in his, pulling you inside the white building. You were surprised to find that there was absolutely nothing inside except a few bicycles. Hongjoong pauses at another set of doors before entering the passcode, revealing a set of stairs. He pulled you along with him, walking past a couple of doors, and you felt like this place was familiar.

"Haven't I been here?" you questioned, eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion as you tried to recall when you’ve been here.

"Yes, the interrogation room is here," Hongjoong explained, "This entire area is connected to the mansion."

"What do you use this area for?" you blurted out.

"Various things," he simply answered before stopping in front of a door and entering a passcode again; they had a lot of security here. Once you entered the room, you realized that it was a large shooting range. Your eyes widened at the sight of various guns adorning one of the walls. You couldn’t even imagine how much money was spent on it.

Hongjoong took a pair of headphones and yellow tinted glasses before making you wear them. He handed you a small, thin silver gun after loading it with a few bullets. "Safety's off, be careful," he warned and you nodded, holding the gun like as if it was very delicate.

"Well, using a gun is very simple," Hongjoong starts, "It's exactly how they show it in movies, aim and pull the trigger. Your aim will always be the most important thing when it comes to shooting, and it's best to shoot the heart.”

Hongjoong demonstrates how to shoot, and the bullet perfectly hit the dummy target’s heart. “See? It’s that simple. You can try it now.”

You put both your hands on the grip of the gun, tilting your head slightly to check if your aim was at the dummy target's heart. You were shaking a little, but you tried your best to ignore it.

"Pull the trigger when you’re ready."

And so you did.

However, the gun recoiled, making you shriek as you fell backwards… right into Hongjoong’s arms.

"Oops, I forgot to mention about the knockback," he chuckled against your head before helping you stand up straight. He looked at the dummy target that you shot. "Mhmm, not bad for a beginner. You shot him in the liver, princess." Your heart raced at the name he called you.

Hongjoong put an arm around your waist, pulling your body against his while he raised your arm a little, focusing on the target. "Shoot," he whispered, and you pulled the trigger again. "See? Bullet to the heart. We're going to practice everyday, yeah? That’s how you’ll become better at it.”

[127-mile]

Let’s pretend we’re in love.

Pairing: Doyoung x gender neutral reader.

Genre: Fake dating, unrequited love, bff to strangers | Angst.

Warnings: strong language.

Plot: Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that of an angel, whether he is speaking, or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parent. Doyoung is also...mean. Doyoung has the face and the voice of an angel, in the body of a demon.

Doyoung tells his mother he is dating you after lying about his relationship. Doyoung knows about your feelings, but he doesn’t care.

Word count: +4.2k.

A/n: this is part of the Mad about the boy collab hosted by @slightlymore​.

Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that one of an angel, whether he is speaking, or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parents. Doyoung is also..

"Y/n are you listening to me?" you are pulled away from your thoughts when Doyoung nudges you. He has been talking for over five minutes now, but all you could think about was how perfect he is. Yes, you saw his lips move, but you did not hear a sound that come out of his mouth. Now that you think about it, Doyoung does have pretty lips, and you wonder how it would feel to kiss him.

"Oh, what is wrong with you today?" he stops and grabs your wrist when you are about to run into a pole. "Are you alright? Are you sick? Do you need me to drive you back home? I can call my parents, and tell them I'll be late, it's fine. You look awfully lost today." you have a long sigh, why is he like this, always so caring.

"I'm fine Doyoung, don't worry about me, I guess I'm just a bit tired." you answer, and he does not look convinced but he shrugs. "Are you sure? My parents will not be mad if you decide to skip dinner." you shake your head as you start walking again, pulling Doyoung with you as he was still holding your wrist. "It's fine. What were you saying?"

"I was talking about my parents, and the reason they invited us." well, technically, they invited Doyoung to eat with them, but Doyoung answered one of your calls, and upon hearing your name, his parents decided to invite you too. A free meal in a nice restaurant is always pleasant, so you had to say yes. Maybe you shouldn't have, with how hard it is for you to focus on anything else than Doyoung's face.

"This weekend is the weekend where the whole family gets together in our grandparents' country house. I told them I would not come because of work, so they are going to try and convince me to join them." this time, you are the one stopping in your tracks. "If you knew what they were going to talk about, why did pretty much beg me to come? I do not want to be in the middle of an argument with your parents."

You met Doyoung when him and his family moved in the neighoroud, you were still young, so you have known each other for a very long time, and he got into the habit of having you by his side during arguments, because you are what he calls a neutral zone, or whatever is reasoning is. "Oh come on, you know they can't refuse me anything when you are here!"

"Doyoung, you are 25 year old! You should know how to settle an argument with your parents, you should know how to make them listen to you and accept whatever you have to say." he tilts his head to the side, and his eyes meet yours. It's enough for your heart to skip a beat, or two. Stupid heart. "Please?"

"Why don't you want to go by the way? The house is really cool, there is a lake, and your family is really sweet. Don't you miss them?" he looks around, and he notices how close he is from the restaurant. If he tries hard enough, he is pretty sure he can see his parents near a bay window, laughing together. "Because, I may have told my mother I had a partner, and she expects me to bring them."

"You are a dumbass, Kim Doyoung." you say in a sigh. "Why would you tell her that? If you do not have time to brush your hair, you definitely do not have time to date someone." he looks offended, but then he remembers the mess on his head, and he decides to stay quiet on the subject. "I don't know! My mom's been on my back about finding someone for months now, I guess I got tired of hearing her and I decided to lie."

"Why don't you find someone? Don't you have a cute coworker you wanted to ask on a date once? Ask them to play your partner." you hate how bright his smile becomes when you mention said coworker. You try not to think about what they have, that you do not have. This is not the time to mope. You'll cry about it later. "That's a great idea! You are the best."

Yes, yes, you are.

Doyoung crosses the road, and he pushes open the door to the restaurant. "After you." he says, and you step inside, smiling at the sudden warmth that invades your body. "Good evening, do you have a reservation?" the young man asks, and Doyoung nods. "My parents are waiting for us, they made a reservation under the name of Kim."

"Yes!" he exclaims, and he walks you to the table. The couple stands up when they see you, and you let Doyoung's mother embrace you for a second. "Y/n, it's been a while, how are you doing sweetheart?" she asks, and you sit down in front of her. "I am doing just fine, how are you?"

"Same old, same old." she starts, head tilted to the side. "we are trying to organize the family weekend, and as usual, it's stressful." you understand. You participated in a few of these gathering, and you know how stressfull everything is. You never regretted anything more than the time you offered to help.

"Yes, Doyoung told me, I'm sure it's going to be amazing, and you'll have a wonderful time with your family." the woman smiles warmly, and she puts her hand on Doyoung's. "Tell me baby, did you ask your partner to come with you?" you nibble on your lower lip, you are excited to hear his arguments.

"Mom, I told you, I have too much work, I can't come." she shakes her head, and you share a look with his father. He knows he is lying, but he keeps his mouth shut, he knows better than to intervene. "Come on Doyoung, don't be silly, I'm sure whatever you have to do can wait for the weekend to be over."

Before he can open his mouth, she raises her hand to shut him up. "I have an idea. Why don't you take your work with you, and I'll give you a couple of hours to work in your grandfather's office, how does that sound?" Doyoung's mother is tenacious, she knows what she wants, and she is ready to do everything in order to get it.

"You know, my darling, that I'm not getting younger by the day, and my dream is to meet the person who makes you so so happy." oh, she went there, you think. Doyoung looks at you, and you smirk, you are not going to help him. "I have something to tell you first."

"I'm listening." but before Doyoung can say anything, the waitress gives you the menu, and comes back to take the orders. And when she leaves, Doyoung's mother prompts him to speak. "Go on, my love, is something wrong?"

"Everything is fine, mother." he plays with his fingers, and you wonder what he is going to say. His mouth opens, and closes for a second, you wonder if he said anything, or if you blacked out because of what he said. All you hear is his mother squeal with delight, and when you look up, she is absolutely beaming.

"Oh my god! I told you it would happen eventually!" she says, hitting her husband on the shoulder. "You did say that." he mumbles, rubbing the aching spot. "I am so happy! And the family loves you, they are going to be thrilled to hear that!"

The rest of the dinner is a blur, you hear and say things, but your brain can't quite process whatever is happening. You must look odd to the Kim's eyes, but you can't even find it in yourself to care.

"See you on Saturday sweetheart." Doyoung's mother says, cupping your cheeks to kiss your forehead. "Yes, Saturday."

When the car disappears from your sight, you turn on your heels to face Doyoung. At least he has the decency to look ashamed, and he doesn't say anything when you hit him in the chest. "What the fuck, Doyoung?" you yell, and he knows people are looking at the scene, even if it's already dark outside.

"I'm sorry, I panicked." he answers, and you shake your head. "Couldn't you admit that you lied, instead of luring me into your lies without asking first!" he takes your hand, and he sighs. "I know, I know. But you were there, and my mom was so excited, I don't know what happened. And look how happy she was when I said it."

"Imagine how sad she is going to be when she'll learn it was a lie, Doyoung!" he knows he should have thought before opening his mouth in the restaurant, but it was his only solution, or so you thought. "She doesn't have to know it was a lit, we can just... I don't know, break up?"

This is a bad idea, you think. For you, who have been madly in love with Doyoung ever since you were kids, it's going to hurt. Because you know Doyoung does not reciprocate your feelings, and never will, and he will play the perfect boyfriend you wish you had.

The break up is going to hurt like a bitch, even if it's fake, and yet, you open your mouth. "We are breaking up at the end of the weekend."

"We need to get the details right, when did we become official?"

Doyoung sits on the edge of the bed as you put your clothes in the dresser. "I don't know Doyoung. You are the one who brought me into this mess, so you should be the one thinking about it." he mumbles something you don't understand, and you turn on your heels to face him. "You are telling me that you did not think about the details at all?"

You did think about everything, of course you did. Not because you were excited about this situation, but because it is something you thought about a lot these past few years.

"I was busy!" he exclaims, and you sigh. "If you want it to be believable, you need to think. Right now. Because your family will be there in a few minutes." you are glad you arrived before everything else, it gives you the time to settle down, and to think about the things you could have talked about in the car.

"We can't tell them it's been a few months, because my mom will bet mad that I did not tell her sooner. So maybe two or three weeks?" you nod. "Yeah, okay. Who confessed?" Doyoung seems to think about it, and when he opens his mouth to answer, you wish you never asked the question. "You, you did it. It what you would have done if it really happened, uh?"

You do not say anything, you do not like the way he said it, like he knows something. He probably does to be honest, you are not the best at hiding your feelings.

"Kids, come say hello!" saved by the bells.

You get out of your bedroom, and you go down the stairs. A few of Doyoung's cousins just entered the house, and they smile when they see you both. "Oh, Y/n, I didn't know you would be here!" Jungwoo says and he puts you into a bone-crushing hug. "Yeah, last minute decision." you answer.

You greet the other members of the family, and before you can understand what is happening, someone grabs your hand to pull you into the living room. "Guys, you all know Y/n, right? Well, I would like to officially introduce Y/n as my partner!"

You try not to look uncomfortable when they all cooe, but you can't smile either. Doyoung is just dropping the bomb, when you thought he would tell the news to some members of the family if they ever asked about his love life. Well, you agreed to be here, so you have to go with the flow. Or rather with Doyoung's decisions.

"I never thought I would see the day where you would finally confess your feelings for our dear cousin." Jungwoo says, and you laugh but god do you want to punch him square in the face. He is the only one in the family to know about your true feelings, so with the little announcement, he feels allowed to say everything he knows.

"Yes, I was wondering if Y/n was ever going to do it. About time." Doyoung answers, and you roll your eyes, but fortunately, his mother calls everyone in the garden. She wants to celebrate the beginning of what she thinks will be a memorable weekend.

"They are gone, you can let go of my hand." you mumble, and he shakes his head. "We have to play the perfect little couple, so might as well do it fully." what is the point of playing when no one is around to see you, if not play with your heart. "You always wanted it, so don't be like that. Come on, let's not make them wait."

He leads you to the garden, and when he finally lets go of your hand to grab two glasses of wine, you feel yourself breathing again. Of course, you spent the last couple of days thinking about the weekend, and how it would turn out, but you thought it would be nice, you know, to be closer to your long-time crush, but no, it's unberable and it's been less than an hour.

"I would like to thank everyone for making the trip for the weekend, I am really glad to see you all, because I have to be honest with you, this year was not easy, and I missed each and every one of you. I am also really grateful to have Y/n with us, I always knew Y/n would be the one to make our sweet boy happy."

Doyoung looks proud, and he is beaming under the attention when you want nothing more than to burry yourself in the ground. "Thank you for accepting me." you say when you hear nothing but silence and feel way too many pairs of eyes on you. "Of course, my love. You were always part of the family, so it is even more normal to have you here with us today."

That's sweet, but what is not is the way Doyoung chuckles under his breath.

"Oh, here you are!" Jungwoo sits down next to you on the couch, and he puts his head on your shoulder. "I've been looking for you everywhere. You know the grandfather's office is off limit?" you shrug, eyes still closed. "I don't care, I needed some alone time."

Jungwoo straightens up, and he does what he does best, he pouts. "What's going on? Are you not happy to be here with us?" you heave a long sigh, opening your eyes to look at him. "I am. I'm always happy to see all of you, especially you Woo, but I don't know. I guess it's overwhelming this time."

"I bet it is. Everyone is all over you, asking you questions. I would dip too if I were you." he answers, and you stay quiet for a couple of minutes. "You and Doyoung, it's an hoax right?" you do not know if you like or hate the fact that Jungwoo is always quick to catch on. "It's that obvious?"

"Not really," he starts, standing up to stretch his long legs. "but you've been in love with him for ever, so seeing you here, when you should be glued to him is weird." that's definitely what you would be doing if Doyoung was not acting so.. you do not even know how to describe it. "I don't know Woo, Doyoung has been acting weird since we arrived."

"What do you mean?" you take the time to think about it, because Jungwoo is still Doyoung's cousin, and you do not want to upset him. "He is the one who told his parents that we were dating, without asking me first, and yet, he is acting like an asshole."

"He throws little comments about my feelings, my real feelings, each chance he gets, and every time, he has that nasty smile on his face." you explain, and Jungwoo hums. "I know it's been only a few hours, and he is probably acting out of nervousness, but it's like.. did he just trick me into coming here just to humiliate me in front of everyone?"

You expect Jungwoo to tell you that you are wrong, that you are imagining everything, but no. "I would not be surprise, to be honest with you." you narrow your eyes, and you don't know what to expect now. "We went on vacation last year, remember? And there, he met this person. It was obvious that they caught feelings for him, and he just played with them."

"He is not stupid, and he understood pretty quickly, but instead of being flattered or to let them down gently, he just decided to be an asshole about it." if Doyoung was not acting like that today, you would never have believed a word of what he said. This is not the Doyoung you know. "But why would he do that? He is not like that on the daily."

"Everyone things he is perfect, but I guess perfection does not extist, and he is the proof." you don't really know how to feel right now. You want to leave, because you are mad. You are mad at yourself, and you are mad at him. "But why me? I'm here to help him, and I'm his best friend, not some kind of summer fling. I never did anything to wrong him or anything, I don't understand."

"I wish I knew Y/n." he answers, putting his hand on your shoulder. "I know how much you love him, and I am sorry he is playing with you." you sigh, you are at loss for words right now. You want to leave but you can't, not this early. Maybe you can find an excuse to leave? No, you can't. Doyoung is the one who drove you here.

"Keep me from hurting him if he decides to act up again today." you say, and Jungwoo nods with a smile. "You know, I am not that strong, so if I can't hold you for long enough, and that you end up actually hurting him, I'm sorry." he winds, and he opens the door to let your out first.

"Well, that was a nice day!" Doyoung says as he lets himself fall on the bed. You have to move your arm to avoid it being stuck under his body. "Good for you." you answer, and he turns on his side to look at you, frowning. "Is something wrong?"

"Are you really asking me that?" you don't know if you should tell him everything you have in mind, or keep quiet and wait until you leave, but you are not sure you can hold for another day. All you know is that you don't want to snap in front of the entire family.

"I have a question, why are you such an asshole with me?" he straightens up, back against the bedframe and he crosses his arms against his chest. "What are you talking about? Wa barely talked today!" you scoff. "And for a reason. Every time we talked, you just made me look like an idiot."

"Why are you doing this? What was the point of asking me to come, if you were planning on being mean?" he bites the inside of his cheek. If you try to remain calm, it seems hard for him too. He has a lot to say, but everyone is asleep, and he knows how quick he gets angry, and he doesn't want anyone to eavesdrop.

"So we are really doing this, uh?" you don't know what he is referring to, but you nod either way. "I'm tired Y/n. I'm tired of you being in love with me." well, that's not what you were expecting, but you are not surprised, if this taught you anything is that you can't expect anything when it comes to Doyoung anymore.

"Hear me out. I know you love me, I always knew, and the attention is nice, but I never mentionned it because you are my best friend, and I never wanted our relationship to change. But I met someone." oh.

"It's my coworker, the one I wanted to ask of a date. Well, I did, last year, and we've been dating ever since. But they can't stand the way you look at me, and it weight a lot on our relationship." you shake your head. "Then why did you bring me? Why didn't you introduce them to your parents instead?"

"How do I say that.. I needed a reason for you to hate me. Not as your friend, but as a potential lover. I needed something to calm your feelings, because as much as I love you, as a friend, my relationship with them is way more important." it feels like someone is squeezing your heart, and you wouldn't be surprised if it came out of your ribcage, in pieces.

"They hate how you look at me, and I understand, I am to the point where I hate it too." you open your eyes wide, and you look up. You refuse to cry. Not in front of Doyoung, he does not deserve it. "So your only option was to break my heart, in front of your entire family? You could have told me the truth, I would have understood you know, I might be in love with you, but I am not stupid!"

"You say you love me as a friend, and yet, you are doing this. You decided to play with my heart to hurt me. And for what?" your voice is shaking, and it sounds a lot like a sob that escapes your pressed lips. "I'm sorry." he whispers, and you laugh as you get out of bed.

"You are not sorry, Doyoung. This is not your first time doing something like this. Is this what gets you going? Breaking people's hearts? Are you planning on doing the same with your current partner?" he shakes his head, and of course, he would never do something like that. Sweet sweet Doyoung.

"You know what? You don't have to worry about me looking at you some type of way, because starting from tomorrow, you will not have to see me again. It'll be so much easier for you." you grab your suitcase, and you stuff your clothes inside. "What are you doing?" Doyoung stands up and he follows you every move.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch, and I'll go home first thing in the morning. Don't worry about driving me back, you can stay here, enjoy and explain to your mother why she will never see me again. Maybe you should also tell her why her son is such a fucking asshole, I'm sure she's going to love it."

"Come on, don't be like that." he says in a sigh, and you open the bedroom door. "Don't be like what? Don't be like a fucking human being with feelings? Well I'm sorry, but I am!" if the family was not around you, you would have sloed the door hard enough for the sound to echoes against the walls, but instead, you close it softly.

Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that of an angel, whether he is speaking or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parents. Doyoung is also mean.

Doyoung has the face and the voice of an angel, in the body of a demon.

So yes, you are mad about the boy, but you are also mad about yourself.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Love Cuts Deep

Chapter 1- She Ran With Wolves

Bucky Barnes x powered (f)reader Series Re-write (Civil War, Infinity War/Endgame, TFATWS)

Summary: You’re a survivor, always have been and always will be. After narrowly escaping the clutches of Hydra years ago, you’ve been keeping to the shadows for as long as time allows. With Hydra suddenly exposed and your secrets in the open, you’re on the hunt for the last part of your past, but is he ready to see you again?

Warning: angst, talk of violence, some fluff mixed in (a little); way more to come

Masterlist

Side note- This is a TFATWS Series Re-write!!! Obviously lol, anyways. Readers powers are heavily inspired by a certain Marvel badass and I just thought her powers would work so well for this. Also they’re cool as fuck.

September, 15th 2013

Location: S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters, Washington D.C.

This recent project Fury had sent her on was beginning to make itself quit the annoyance for Natasha this past of couple weeks, granted he always gave her the toughest assignments, understanding that no one else can dig up as much dirt as the Black Widow can.

But this? This was different, the target in question was practically a ghost, a legend among the ones lucky, or possibly unlucky enough to have been made aware of this dangerous individual. But no matter how much she asked around from her various secretive resources on the problem in question, this mystery person was simply just rumor to them. Or perhaps too much of a sour subject to seek into any further. Although one thing was always prevalent, people were scared.

But why?

The assassin leans back in her chair, a thoughtful expression crossing over her features as she stares bitterly down at the top secret file gifted to her by Fury himself. Suddenly a door closes, she shuts the file in an instant, only to be greeted with the apologetic face of Steve as he walks past her.

“Sorry. Fury told me you would be in here.” Begins Steve as he takes the nearby couch, something small and metal in his right hand, “Said you were assigned some impossible case. How’s it going so far?”

Letting out a jaded sigh, she shifts her gaze over to the window, “The absolute vagueness of this person is....frustrating to say the least. All I’ve been able to gather is that they’ve been part of some top secret experimentation on pregnant women. Somehow they’re involved with it....I just, gotta figure out how.” She adds with a conflicted expression dancing across her features.

Steve hums in thought, “Sounds complicated.”

“You have no idea.” Mutters Natasha unenthusiastically as her green irises shift back down to the annoying little file.

Steve palms the object in his hand before gaining his friends attention once again, “Here. Fury told me to give this to you.” Her brows furrow in thought as she reaches over and quickly accepts the strange hard drive looking object, “I think this will help. It has the location of the target and who they are. That’s it.....Well, the last reported location.”

“How did he?” She wonders aloud, face suddenly breaking out into an irked grin, “Fury you son of a bitch, about time I found a legitimate lead.”

——

Sitting on her comfortable apartment couch, Natasha sifts through the various encrypted files from the hard drive that’s currently plugged into her laptop. So far she’s spent about two hours breaking through the various encrypted file blockers and now at long last has finally made some real progress.

Studying the brightly glowing screen, she moves her finger, clicking another coded link that reads -V13X11- she’s immediately greeted with a black screen and the slightly blurred picture of a woman’s face who’s looking rather stoic and fearless against the camera flash. Her eyes are set and hard as stone, dark and almost angry behind lips that show the ghost of a forced smile. She’s noticeably an overall attractive woman, in kind of a terrifying and intimidating sort of way, like looking at a fierce lioness standing valiantly against a foe; nonetheless she stares defiantly at the person behind the camera. 

Her eye color, weight, date of birth, and presumably patient number, that's printed in big bold letters 00X13 on the glowing screen, right below her squared portrait. Furrowing her brows, Natasha scrolls down to see about a paragraph long of personal information given about the woman. Including, to the red heads tremendous surprise, a birth name, Y/N Valerious.

Oddly enough, the name indeed sounds a tad bit familiar, though she can’t quit place from where.

The file states that she was raised in a facility on the outskirts of Surinda, Russia; someplace in Siberia, close to the heart of the mammoth country. Trained by the organization Hydra and summitted into inhuman experimentation by the specific facility that held her, however the rest is all encrypted and impossible to translate into something comprehensible much to Natasha’s utter disappointment. 

Huffing in frustration, she slips out the hard drive before shutting down her laptop and slamming it shut. The room is darker by now with the sun gone, and tomorrow it appears that Natasha will be off to Sweden to confront this woman, Y/N, in hopes of gathering valuable intel into the people who created her, and any important information regarding her troubled past. 

If she’s willing to comply.

——

Closing your laptop, you stand and wander over to the opened window to stretch before taking a deep breath of freshly brisk winter air. The land here in Uppsala, Sweden is more beautiful and peaceful then you could have ever imagined since renting an apartment two months ago. In fact, this is probably the longest you’ve ever stayed in one spot since abandoning the life of an assassin many years ago.

Though you know it won’t be much longer until you leave again, but you can’t just yet, there happens to be a certain agent on her way to find you. Fury unknowingly received your encrypted hard drive with opened arms, foolishly under the impression it was sent from an old friend when he reached out for answers into your complicated history. Then when the Black Widow eventually clicked open your link, bam, you could see everything she was nosily sifting through. Everything you wanted her to see. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if something dramatic happened to the people over in D.C. at this point, idiots, all of them.

For the past couple years S.H.I.E.L.D has become sort of a troubling snooping nuisance for you, constantly delving their way into your relatively uneventful lifestyle every couple of months, meddling around to figure out if you’re still currently active for Hydra and if not, are you willing to pay for your crimes or to join them like she did. Definitely not on your to do list any time soon.

Watching as a small black bird zips by, you quickly shut your window and close the dark colored curtains to block yourself from the rest of the chaotic world. Hastily making your usual rounds about the apartment to be absolutely certain all the possible openings are locked. Soon after you head for bed, ready to face the ex-assassin whenever she arrives in the following days ahead.

-

Seated at your kitchen table, you casually sip at your steaming hot tea while watching security footage from downstairs from when you hacked into their system, the same night you began renting the place. As expected, the notorious red head slips her way into the building and up the four flights of stairs until finally a light knock is heard at your old wooden door.

So she wants to do this cleanly.

Switching off the device, you stuff it in a nearby drawer before calmly walking down the tiny hallway over to the frontdoor and opening it, lock off and all. Her green eyes blink in curious surprise as you show her no indications of aggression; she’s about your height if not maybe slightly smaller, thick scarf and a winters coat about her person as she holds a normal sized black bag in her right hand. No doubt a gun concealed somewhere close, a light precaution in case things go south from here.

Trailing your wary gaze from her travel bag to her pale face, you raise an intrigued brow, “I assume you’re here for me?” You ask with the tinge of a confident Eastern European accent as she slowly nods, eyes calculated and calm as she studies your mellow yet slightly defensive stance.

Pursing plush lips together, she casually shrugs with a light hearted smile, “I only realized you must have sent that hard drive when I arrived in London...”

“Well I’ve gotten rather bored running away from your persistent bastards over in America.” You interrupt before opening up your door even wider, gifting her an open invitation instead of a fight, “Come in. I assume we have much to discuss.”

Following you to the table, she sets her bag on the closest chair as you take another sip from your tea. Cautious eyes trained on her every move as she shifts a bit uncomfortably in her chair, “So, I assume you’re not here to sell me that pretty bag of yours. Not that I’d want it.”

She smirks at your blunt sarcasm, pleased to know you’ve at least got a sense of humor after all you’ve endured, “No. I’m here to learn about who created you and if there are any more. Y/N, I’m well aware of how dangerous you truly are...but given the fact that you’ve had time to adjust, and let me into your home willingly. I came seeking answers. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Folding your hands together, you tilt your head at her thoughtfully, “Well that’s good. I didn’t really want killing the Black Widow on my conscience, though I’d speculate a few would be relieved.” You quip with a playful smirk before your face turns serious again, “I’ll tell you about the fuckers who made me. Then you leave and never bother me again. Understood?” You add in almost a growl.

Handing you a polite smile, she nods in agreement, “Of course. You have my word.” You take another sip of your tea as she reaches into her bag, a beige file suddenly plants itself atop your kitchen table. “This is the only surviving file on you. It’s enough, but there’s too many cracks that need to be filled. I need to know how they conducted the experiments and who else survived them. This is important for the safety of S.H.I.E.L.D and the rest of the world. Y/N, we’re trying to make sure something like this can never happen again. And well, any secrets on Hydra always helps.”

Setting your cup down, you smirk, “This should be filled with liquor if I’m going to be spilling some top secret Hydra business of this velocity.” You muse, setting aside your mug, your face quickly shifts to a more serious expression. “For starters this isn’t a very heartwarming story.”

“Neither is mine.” Begrudgingly admits the ex-assassin.

“Well, at least we have something in common then, Black Widow.” You assert with a pointed look before leaning back against the barred wood of your chair, thinking of where to start first. Your eyes trail over to the window as you begin your story, “This place, where they kept us. The scientists working for Hydra wanted to test out special DNA altering serums on the embryos of willing participants. Well, we weren’t willing....but they targeted the poor, feigning a program that would pay these mothers-to-be thousands if they participated. Plus a comfortable place to stay for awhile.” You reveal before taking another sip of your tea, “You see, I’m not originally from Russia, my home was some nameless village in Eastern Europe that I’ve forgotten the name of by now, it was so long ago. But anyways, I guess fate has a funny way of administering it’s business to the ones seeking safety in times of struggle. So my mother...” You take another sip of your tea to help clear your throat and head a little bit, God you hate talking about this.

Setting it down again, you continue, “Mine accepted. They took her and twenty-two others to this facility deep in the woods. This place was practically a paradise for them...” You chuckle miserably, “soon enough the scientists pumped them full of drugs and began their altering of the embryos DNA, genetic codes, and whatever else they saw fit to mess with. Nine months later we came into this world kicking and screaming.”

“Shit.” Mutters Natasha in astonishment, fully engrossed in your story as she starts to realize maybe her upbringing wasn’t as fucked as yours.

“They monitored us for the first few months, waiting to see if anyone acted strange....nothing, to their utter disappointment. Soon they drew blood samples and as it turned out, we all had altered DNA from the serum. Just as they’d planned.”

Her brows furrow in puzzlement before she asks, “How’d you get your powers then? I don’t think I missed anything.” Insists your guest questionably as you shake your head.

“You didn’t. But you have to understand that as we grew older, all of us basically became tiny super soldiers as fucked as that is, not only did they change our genetic code for meddling with later on when we got older. But this serum was so well developed that it completely fused with the fetuses genetic code, only causing us to grow stronger as we aged from toddlers to three-year-old's and up. Testing even revealed that it slowed down our ageing process just like with Captain America. But it wouldn’t be effective till we reached our mid to late twenties.”

Natasha takes a moment to process your words before she nods in acknowledgment, “Y/N. It’s my understanding that this is a buried secret from the organization for good reason, it’s just....what year did this all take place? It’s not in any of the records I was able to dig up, not even in yours, nothing except for your date of birth.” States Natasha curiously, stopping you before you speak of anything else.

Nodding you lean your arms against the wooden table, leaning in a bit closer now, “1953, after World War ll when people where still recovering from the heavy aftermath while the Cold War was still raging on when well, you know.” Giving her a lopsided shrug, you glance from an old faded picture on the wall then back to her, “Lets just say Russia wasn’t exactly having a stellar time, nor was my mother for that matter.” You Conclude before aimlessly pursuing your lips together, “Which yes, makes me at around 60 years old. Don’t I look pretty.” You add, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Natasha’s eyes concede silent astonishment as she blinks back surprise, “Even after all these years doing what I do, meeting the people that I have. I’m still left speechless every once in awhile. Y/N I can’t even imagine what you’ve seen.” Reveals the red head honestly as her green irises flicker from your file then back up to you, a conflicted expression dancing across her features, “How did they...how did you gain your powers, aside from what the serum gave you in the process?”

An apprehensive sigh escapes freely from your lips while you lean back into the creaky old chair, a troubled look darkening your features as you avoid her intrigued gaze, “They waited until we were twelve before testing us....in the meantime we lived as normal children; learning, playing, and training to survive. You know, the typical stuff.” You add with a small breathy laugh, though no humor finds your eyes, “We had our mothers until a year before they began the experiments. But it wasn’t that terrible of a loss since they trained us to adapt to our environment and never fully depend on anyone but ourselves.....it’s sick. And I’m not even sure what they did to them, I guess I never will.”

She nods as you make a disgusted face, an acidic hatred rising in your chest at the thought of your childhood, “I’m sorry, I can’t even imagine how traumatic that must have been.”

“Oh believe me, it gets better.” You joke bitterly, “In pairs of two they tested us, putting us into rooms where two doctors would strap us down and stick a needle into our skin. After that, they waited until something dramatic happened. Oh, and it sure as fuck did.” You conclude with a sneer.

Biting her lip anxiously, Natasha asks anyway, “How many survivors?”

Scoffing, you shake your head in revulsion for what those doctors did to everyone, an angry expression soon crossing your features, “One.” You sourly mutter, “All my other friends died of the new serum they gave us, either right then and there on the table, or in the following days. You see, it was supposed to blend with our altered DNA to create something powerful out of it, something beyond humans normal capabilities. It just ended up horribly mutating everyone except for me.” You whisper, clear sadness and hatred coating your very words.

Your eyes stare sharply at the peeling table top paint, a frown on your lips as you take in a deep breath before continuing, “What they did to me....no one should have to go through something so goddamn agonizing, I was only a child, just a little girl in a terrible place whether I knew it or not....and you know how it affected me?” She slowly shakes her head no as you smile miserably, your brows furrowed in pain, “I was gifted with bone claws that retracted out of my knuckles and one from each of my feet.” You confirm, eyes suddenly darkening in fury, “And you know what those goddamn bastards did to me afterwards? Like I hadn’t suffered enough from the pain of it all, they pumped me full of liquid Adamantium. Turning my claws to solid metal, the fucking strongest material on earth. Right in the body of an eleven year old child!” You shout furiously as she flinches back at your outburst, blinking hard, you let out a heavy breath before leaning back into your chair in defeat.

Calm down, Y/N. It’s just a memory now.

Strong brows dent her clear skin in thought as you await a response, after a few long moments does she soon gather her racing mind, lacing her fingers together she raises a brow at you, “That doesn’t explain how you’ve survived so long. The years working for Hydra, they turned you into a weapon....yet you’ve escaped and haven’t been killed yet. Not even a scratch to be found.....well, at least that I can see.”

Turning to face the puzzled assassin, you give her a lopsided grin, your chill composure coming back to you quickly enough, “I didn’t just get claws from the enhanced serum that fucked with my genetic make-up, it completely heightened my humanly abilities. Suddenly I was stronger, faster, and all my senses felt like they were on overload. Best of it all, I came to realize I had accelerated healing capabilities. Who would have thought that their shitty inhuman experiments would have gone so horrendously, yet with the one miracle of an exception. Me.”

“I had figured that branch of Hydra was meddling on dangerous ground, I hadn’t realized the extent of what they were doing. Did they try making any more like you?” She wonders.

“I was the last. Since I was the only compatible vessel, they didn’t want to waste anymore time or money on others who could possibly fail.” You explain with a shrug, “I became one of their most treasured assets.”

Pursing her lips together, she gives a slight nod before revealing a different file from her bag, you watch as she pauses for a moment before opening it up, you quickly take notice of the many white papers pinned together. Some with encrypted symbols and words while others are in plain English. Your brows furrow as she flips the first page to reveal...

“I know I came asking for answers about classified information, but this won’t be a complete mission if I don’t ask you about your time with Hydra.” Proposes the red head cautiously while she studies your face for any hostile reactions, not getting anything but skepticism, she continues, “I understand you were very important to them. It’s recorded you’ve completed about three dozen kills over an active period of about thirty-seven years.”

You scoff before muttering, “So it would seem. They gave me my first mission in 1971...when I was 17.”

“Right, but that’s not exactly what I’m seeking.” Her eyes immediately trail down to the files, “I assume you must have seen this man at least once...” She flips another page over and pulls out a playing card sized photograph, she turns it around and slides it closer to you. Instantly you recognize who he is, but how did she?..

“I haven’t seen him in years, nor heard of him for that matter.” You mutter, though your tone shifts to a more aggravated one.

Noticing this difference, Natasha continues, “That’s the look of someone who has met him for less then friendly reasons. What happened to the Winter Soldier?” You take a long moment to study his stoic face of icy blue and white, and black; its when he was in the Cryostacis chamber, the place where they would freeze him to keep their Winter Soldier locked away until he was needed for a new mission. All that you can fully witness is his sleeping face, though you know exactly what he looks like up close and with no ice crystals in his dark hair.

Letting out a heavy sigh, you slide the photograph back over to her folder, “I met him when I was 25 in 1979, Hydra needed us for a duel mission somewhere in South Africa, they needed their best. We were tasked with locating and stealing some precious metal which we later learned was Vibranium, because apparently they had used the last of the Adamantium on me.” You reveal with a casual shrug, “It went relatively well as expected...and well, we worked with each other many times after that, until I escaped and he was sent to kill me in 2009.”

“You knew him for almost twenty-nine years. Do you know where he might be now?”

Scoffing, you almost laugh, “Even if I did, you’d never get him. But if I’d have to assume, he’s probably frozen in some cryo tank somewhere in the middle of Russia. Waiting to be let loose again so he can take out a new enemy of the state.”

“Right.” Nods the Black Widow as she closes up her files, her green irises quickly on you again, “Thank you for your time, and for the heavy material you spoke of.”

“It was a long time ago, someone else should remember what those fuckers did to innocent mothers and their children. No one in this entire world knows except for me, you, and the doctors I haven’t killed yet.” You growl with venom lacing your every word.

Soon you watch as she swiftly rises to her feet, as you do the same, “I wish you well then.” Affirms the Black Widow as you follow her lead to the door, she stands on the other side for a moment before asking, “Is there any way I could find you again?”

Leaning against the door frame, you break out into a knowing smirk as she stands waiting expectantly, “If you’re lucky, you’ll never see me again. Goodbye agent Romanoff.” And with that do you gently close the door, leaving her in the hallway with a plethora of useful information, but still nothing significantly useful on the Winter Soldier, now only time will tell if he ever happens to show up on her radar again. Hopefully not, she thinks doubtfully before turning on her heels and sauntering off down the hallway.

——

Almost two whole years had passed since last you’ve spoken to the assassin, in that time you’ve watched her speak on live television when Hydra had finally been exposed to the world and all their secrets let loose for the prying hungry eyes of the public.

Even some of your own information had been leaked, the world knew who you were now, what atrocities you’ve committed for the organization during your time with them and that you’ve been M.I.A since 2009. Now you’re on an international watchlist. Fantastic. Apparently some very important leaders of the world and other prestige family members alike aren’t very fond of yourself for murdering their adversaries or filthy rich husbands. 

But it’s not like you had a choice, Hydra would always alter your memories when they shocked you into forgetting who you even were; thus you’d complete a mission and a couple days or so later would your mind stitch itself back together again the best it could from the electrical trauma. Only the killing part would be a dark and fuzzy memory, thus revealing itself to you in bits and pieces at a time. Soon everything blurred together and you just complied or face getting electrocuted multiple times a session, until your eyes remained empty and dangerous.

Considering you’ve been on the run since that information was released, in this time, you’ve tracked down past agents and doctors alike who had wronged you, considering you now had full access to their recent history. Hence increasing your body count as you went from one country to the next, making the world a tad bit lighter with their darkness whipped from existence.

Although soon enough you became unsettled with the loads of information expunged from Hydra, your mind inevitably making a one eighty back to a certain broody super soldier from your complicated past. He must be in the world somewhere, living as a secret civilian or whatnot. He has to be. And you’ve decided to find him before someone else does.

Maybe it was curiosity, or the fact that he was like you and shared a bloody history with Hydra, but your instinctual drive to find the Winter Soldier eventually drew you the beautiful city of Bucharest, Romania. Although he didn’t make finding him effortless in the slightest, after endless days hacking into network databases looking for even a snippet of information. You found a lead.

Turns out airport security footage is very useful, even more so, footage from around the city’s grant center; and from there you were able to track him to Romania. Eventually after a couple of days in the city, you were able to catch a glimpse of him at the local market place and thus followed him to his little shitty apartment without him as so much as noticing.

Once he left again, you slipped inside and began your wait for his eventual return. But will he even want to speak with you? Does he even remember you? Your memories hadn’t been continuously whipped like his were, granted you were forced into cryo more then once and electroshocked into forgetting your memories. It eventfully stopped once they realized your mind would just heal itself into remembering again, so instead they threatened you with a tracking device deep into your skin tissue that would blow up if you tried to run.

Clearly you eventually found a way around this, as terrible of a memory it gave you.

——

Looking out the window, your ears suddenly pick up the sound of boots stealthily walking down the hallway, they’re incredibly light against the tiles outside, perhaps he somehow knows you’ve been following him. A moment later the scent of a man fills your nostrils and you know he’s inside the apartment. You could barely hear the door.

He’s silent as a mouse, nothing indicating he’s even there except for his rapidly thudding heartbeat that pounds anxiously against his strong chest; you slowly turn to face him. His hat from earlier is gone, dark blue eyes stare warily on you while soft breaths emit from his slightly parted lips. He’s not afraid, but he is nervous.

Folding your arms over your chest, you take a glance around the room, “Nice place.” You confirm casually, eyes back on the Winter Soldier in a second as the corner of your lips pull into a humored half grin, “I’m not here to complete some personal Vendetta against you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Then why are you here?” His voice is more curious then cold, maybe he can be reasoned with after all.

Taking a step forward, you shrug, “Wanted to make sure you aren’t still on their side.”

He keeps silent for a moment as you watch him watch you, “I’m done with them.” Mutters Bucky, disgust dripping off his words. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear. Progress.

“Good.” You add with the tiniest of smiles before motioning towards his little kitchen table, “Mind if we sit and talk? As, well...I guess civilians now.”

Studying your face for any indication of falseness and hostility, he’s pleasantly surprised when he finds none. Bucky takes off both of his gloves and sits, metal hand shinning in the low lighting. A threat or a precaution? Maybe he just wants it off?

You follow his example, and soon the two of you sit not even three feet away from each other. Both yourself and Bucky hold an awkward silence for a long moment as the tension in the room rises, shifting your gaze from the counter behind him, you don’t really notice as he trails his eyes over your face, “I remember you.” Reveals Bucky to your great surprise, your eyes falling onto him in an instant, “They sent us on missions together, until you left and they woke me up to kill you for it.”

Smiling, you let out a humored breath of air, “Turns out you didn’t miss me after all. I gave you a nice scar for your troubles though, you still have it?”

Bucky purses his lips into the tiniest of shadowy grins, although no real joy is shown, “It’s a thin little line across my left rib cage. Just barely reached my bone.” Yeah, and I would have if you didn’t punch me in the eye socket first, you think to yourself from when the Winter Soldier had tracked you down. But that’s a long story.

“Glad it’s healed and they didn’t have you come after me a second time. I don’t think I would have let you live again.”

He thinks hard for a second as he processes your words, “You let me live? The first time?”

“Well,” You serenely admit, “I couldn’t exactly kill you...I guess, well....I don’t really know why I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. Guess I’m not as ruthless as Hydra wanted.” You mumble with a conflicted frown, the two of you keep silent before you break the odd tension, “Doesn’t matter now. I heard about what happened in D.C. just like the rest of the world. Gotta say, I was wondering what everyone over there had been getting themselves into.”

“They leaked everything.” Mumbles Bucky with a knowing flash of insight within his dark restless eyes.

“I know.” You add with a slow nod, “I’ve been traveling more cautiously for the past year and a half now. You’d think they’d let us live in peace, of course not. But I guess it means the world knows what a piece of shit organization Hydra is. So that’s something.”

“Yes.” Agrees Bucky, eyes trailing from your fingerless gloves to your face, of course he remembers what hides beneath, “What happened to you since you left?

Fumbling with your fingers as they lay against his table, you turn you head to the window, the ghost of a smile dancing across your lips, “Surviving. You?”

He shifts his gaze back down to his metal hand as you turn to face him, “About the same I’d say.”

Leaning back against your creaky wooden chair, you hand him a small yet friendly smile, “Well then. What of us now? Two ex-assassins alone in the world. With nothing but our wit and fists to keep us afloat.” You add with a low chuckle, he doesn’t crack.

Losing your smile, the two of you keep silent as ghosts for a long moment before Bucky shifts uncomfortably in his seat, “I got some tea.” Replies the admittedly handsome man now since you have a moment to really look; the briefest hint of a grin revealing itself against his lips for only but a flash of a second. But you still see it.

Fumbling with your fingers you give him a pursed lip grin, “I like tea.”

[papellie]

REMEMBER

Random scenarios with the NXX members

CHAPTER 2:

MC was shocked. Like really shocked. She wouldn't thought that in her first time in joining this organization something really shocking would happen like in her first 10 minutes in.

"MC!!! It's so good to see you!" You were the one who reacted first when you instantly strode to her and hugged her.

She was out of it, and just kept staring at the person at your back. You separated from the hug and look back, seeing Luke with the darkest eyes.

There were several times that you have seen those dark corals. It's like the sea in a thunderstorm, you can't see anything, just darkness and endless stretch of water and the fear of the unknown that lurkes under that bottomless pit.

But that doesn't scare you. You analyze the situation, thinking of any reason he was bitching right now.

Then it hit you, "Shit. You really like know know each other?" You shake your head slightly waiting for an answer.

They still don't look away at each other and being in between them you felt the tension and also the other people in the room.

Not getting an answer you try to break away from the awkwardness by facing the other people present. You meet eyes with three other men. But as you started to open your mouth to speak you instantly close it because someone cut you off.

"I'm Luke Pearce. Economic and Technological Crime Division, National Security Bureau. I'm joining the NXX Investigation Team as a special investigator." He finishes instantly, keeping a blank face but he still radiates anger.

"National Security Bureau?" MC trailed, like she didn't mean to speak the words out loud.

Silence filled the room because of tension, MC was lost in her own thoughts and no one wanted to speak up. But it became more awkward so they shift their attention to you being the last stranger in the room.

Being the distracted person that you are, it took a second for you to realize what you need to do. "Oh, is it my turn?" You point to yourself.

Answered by silence once again you just continued, "I'm Y/N L/N. Forensic Services Division, National Security Bureau. I'm here because I lost a bet." You say a matter-a-fact. Well, it was the truth.

Luke let out a long sigh. He knew he had no hope when it comes to you and taking the job seriously. "She's here as a forensic expert. She'll be handling the evidences."

"I doubt I'll help. My expertise is opening up dead bodies." You grin at them. They all felt goosebumps form on their spine because of how casual you said that.

"And all other branches of forensics." Luke hissed at you.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. So, it's just a personal preference, the opening up dead bodies I mean." You concluded.

"Autopsy." Now, he glared at you. The last warning to make your mouth shut.

The man who had gold irises was the first to break all the tension by offering you a seat next to MC. He looked like he was the calmest person in the room. After he introduced himself the one in a suit came second who looks stuck up in your opinion. Boring.

The last one was the kid with violet hair and eyes. You studied his face, because he looked really familiar.

"I know I'm handsome, Miss but you don't need to stare." He smirked at you, clearly full of himself. Your upper lip curled in disdain.

He extended his hand, "I'm Marius Von Hagen. Nice to meet you, Miss."

"Wait. You're Marius Von Hagen?" It finally clicked.

He was feeling smug but it instantly crumbled when you continued saying, "Like the kid who kept crying because I temporarily changed with your nanny back then? I think it was 10 year ago? You were small back then." You hold a finger to your chin.

As you reminisce that event, Marius was blushing in embarrassment because Vyn Ritcher and Artem Wing—the first two men that introduced themselves—were trying to contain their laughter.

"Haha, I remember. You didn't age, Miss." He laughed through gritted teeth. "Why don't we come back to our main topic."

As what Marius has said, the rest of the meeting was full of the discussion of the NXX's objectives. It was about some kind of drug and some missing people. You don't really remember. Well, because you were trying to not fall asleep through the most of it while MC kept nudging you awake.

The last part was talking about code names to use where Luke instantly answered "Raven".

You didn't really thought of yours, you just used your agent code name. "I'll be Keres." You said as you play with the pen on the table which was probably more interesting to you than all those talk about crime.

No one dared to open their mouths. They did not want to know the reason why you picked the name of the goddesses who personified violent death.

Maybe you were being serious of just being edgy. MC thought or more like prayed it was the latter but Luke wasn't surprised. He knows why.

The brown haired girl beside you was the last one who was pondering. "What about Rosa?" She was still unsure but Vyn Ritcher assured her.

That man has a knack of controlling the atmosphere.

As everyone was fixing up, Luke went out first and Rosa followed. Probably out to fix their own problems. The three other men let her.

You look outside through a window, Luke was sulking while he was just looking at Rosa. Not even bothering to open his mouth so you can't really read his lips and get any detail just by looking. Rosa then hoped in the car—even if angry Luke is still a gentleman—they drove off.

"They left." You click your tongue in disappointment.

"Where did they go?" Artem walked beside you also looking out.

You didn't bother facing him. You just mindlessly answered, "Probably fucking."

They all whipped their heads to you, concerned of what you said. You remember that you aren't in your usual workplace and these people are completely new to your behavior as you are to them.

"Uhm, I was kidding." You were obligated to answer because of how horrified they looked.

"Wait..." You trailed. "Those motherfuckers left me."

A/N: well i think it took a long time to continue lmao. there was a lot of shit that happened in my life on the time between the first chap and this one. school was fucking hard and shit and speaking of home. we deadass got kicked out. thank god not homeless but i still didnt liked it. then someone in the immediate family almost died. fortunately they didnt.

long story short, those four months was fucking crazy and i dont want to do it like everr againn.

anw hope you guys like this update. im was actually sad bc there arent new fanfic writers in the fandom. i wish everyone would come back :))))

[someonedm]

It was an inconvenience, really. Jane didn't want to be here, and neither did I. She had all her friends to be with, chatting and quacking about things I had nothing to do with. And I had... my alone time, I guess. Sweet, quiet, alone time.

But things didn't go out as planned. Jane got suspended, for being a bitch, and when school said she couldn't go to the field trip, she called her rich parents who got it all sorted out. But room arrangements were already made, which landed her right here, with me.

I suppose we both made the best out of it. She spent her time with her girls, while I had a blast going through social media. But, when bedtime finally arrived, we couldn't avoid it. We have to stay together in the same room.

She steps out of the shower, her wet hair dripping drops of water onto the floor. She turns to me with annoyance. "What are you looking at?"

I hadn't noticed I was staring at her until her remark, and it caught me off by surprise. "Oh. I just-yeah." I got in the shower. "Good thing you are finally washing, don't know if I could sleep with you stinking out the room." She said it so incidentally, not caring about if it'd hurt me or not. The kind of effort someone puts in a "congrats" message in a group chat.

Coming out of the shower, I find her still standing there, looking at her own reflection in the mirror. Seeing me, she swiftly turned to her toothbrush, trying to hide the self-absorbance this entails.

Her eyes, reflecting from the mirror, look tired. Her skin is dotted with little imperfections. Her mouth, which I was so used to see lie on a self-assured smirk, was curved down. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and we could both see her.

Perhaps she was thinking of another insult, perhaps she didn't mind my blank stare, but I noticed her relentlessness as she offered me a moisturizing cream. "You want some?"

"no, thanks."

She went back to her bed silently. She was no longer wearing her popular girl persona. We were both tired and just wanted to sleep.

After finishing my prep up, I too went back to my bed. I stretched my arm into my bag, fishing out a flask. I waved the flask in front of jane. "You want some?"

"Where'd you got this?" She laughed, reaching out her hand to take the flask.

"Stole it from my mom's cabin."

She gave it to me back. "Won't she be pissed at you?"

I gulped some of the scotch. "No way. She must've noticed it was gone as soon as I left. If she cared for me I would have heard from her way too long ago."

"Aaah." She yelped. "Sorry for asking".

"First time?" I asked with a full grin, unable to hide my satisfaction with the situation.

"You think?"

"You goody two shoes got yourself detained recently, so I don't know what to think."

"Hell nah. The first time was eighth grade. My ex's brother organized a party and snuck in booze. They said they would have got me with them, cause I looked a lot older than I was. I think that that sentence was why I took that first glass." She sighed, and I knew she has something weighing on her, but she stopped herself from speaking. "What about you?"

"My mom thinks that my first time was when she gave me, after he- after he- uhhh... yeah. It was a bad night for her, and she couldn't give any shit. I had to act like it was all new to me, as if I hadn't had one of those after other nights. I am not a great actress, but I did have a drunk and tired audience." I looked up to her, and noticed she too had a hard time looking in my eyes. "Forget about me. What about your party? Your ex??" I raised my eyebrows repeatedly, and it got a chuckle out of her.

"I'd rather not talk about him." She smiled, though it was a sad smile. "But since we are discussing firsts... well, me and Tyler. Homecoming party."

"Tyler, huh? never thought he was your type!"

"What do you think my type is?" she asked, intrigued by my statement.

"I thought you liked your boys strong and sassy. The kind of jock smart enough so you won't have to actually tutor him during your 'study sessions'. Not some theater student exchange kid!"

I laughed, but she didn't seem to like it. "Do you really think of me like that? That I'm that basic?"

I looked her in the eyes. Even after knowing how she looked without her makeup, she seemed so tired. The kind of tired that stems from frustration, rather than lack of sleep. Jane cared a lot about how people think of her, even if those people were outcasts like me. "If you want me to be sincere" she nodded. "Yes."

Her soft smile faded. "I guess I should go to sleep, then."

"Wait, I am sorry. Why don't you tell me about Tyler?"

"Okay, but, I can't promise to be awake to finish."

"Consider me an elephant. I am all ears." I gestured with my hands curved, extending my ears.

"He is smart, and funny, and kind - I thought he was kind. He helped me learn for history, and we actually did study, unlike what you were guessing. He said how he missed his friends at home, and I thought it was really sweet. I felt safe with him, that he cared for me. I think he did - I wasn't just a popular girl to achieve. He made it clear, romantic gesture after romantic gesture, and when homecoming came I offered him myself. And it was all great going forward, up until Christmas break. He finally had a chance to go back home and insisted I'd stay home with my family. He ghosted me all that time, including a week after he got back. Then he confronted me. Apparently, he was having a long-distance relationship with whom I thought was his ex, and they had sex when he came back for his visit. Said he loved me but that she won't let him be with me.

So I got a little basic, and invited one of the jocks to have rebound sex in his car. While his girlfriend was over."

I chuckled. "I am sorry. What you went through is terrible. But god damn is that a good way to get back at someone, you magnificent bastard."

"I am glad I am amusing you." I couldn't decipher the look on her face, resting for a split second, before turning back to gossip. "So, who's your first?"

"I had a first- yeah uh I definitely had one."

A malicious smile sneaked onto her face. "No, you didn't."

I held the palm of my hand at the back of my head and looked down in shame. "No, I didn't."

A familiar sense of vanity came from her. "Doesn't matter. Who'd you kissed?"

I wanted to lie, but instead, I hid my face in the palms of my hands, hiding from her glare. "I uh - I hadn't kissed anyone yet."

"Well, that's such a shame! I bet many boys like you. You just don't notice them, that's all."

This comment, coming from her, caught me off by surprise. I had anticipated some sassy, if not outright a bit mean remark. "Really? You think that? Cause you kinda sound like my mom."

I guess I shook her a bit too, cause the sass was quick to come. "I'm sure of it. You know how boys are - they lust after anyone they think they have a chance with."

"Ahh, there it is. Should I take it as a compliment?" I smiled softly. "Cause I'm not hurt."

Her eyes widened for a moment. "No I- I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it like that - Ugh, nevermind." She rubbed her eyes. It was late. "If you want me to, I can help you get any boy you'd like. Who you've got your eyes on?"

I was starting to feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't tell what about this innocent question was so jarring. "I don't know. I never thought about it."

She leaned forward on her bed. "Tell me your type, then, since we already talked about mine."

"You must guess first."

She looked me deep in the eyes, assesing how I looked. She then turned her head to the flask. I imagine she was going through what I've told her, trying to make a sense of me.

"You like shy artsy boys that keep to themselves. You get tired of the enthusiazm of other people, even if it's about things you like, so it's nice having someone who's more quiet, like you. But you also want him to be more emotional than you, cause if it was left up to you, you'd be scared of the relationship falling apart. Did I get it right?"

Her description felt off. It wasn't insulting or arrogant, and I couldn't tell what exactly was incorrect, but it felt wrong.

"I... I don't know." I knew what I wanted to say, and it made me anxious. I could feel the saliva getting stuck in my throat. "I like someone who's sarcastic and witty, and doesn't open up, so when they finally talk earnestly it feels like winning a prize. Someone who cares so much about how other people see them, that they take off their hand crafted mask just for you, and seeing them that way, they are only ever more beautiful."

My gaze drifted away from her as I spoke, and I couldn't bare to see how she had reacted.

"I am tired." Her voice finally broke the silence.

"Me too. I don't want to stop talking to you."

"Me too."

The vision of that flask felt burned in my memory as I thought about reaching out and taking another sip. I couldn't sleep, and perhaps more alcohol in my blood stream meant stopping to think. I couldn't stopped thinking, and it paralized me. Images ran in my mind, thoughts and ideas being intrusive, and I had no help in silencing them.

The steady rhythm of her breath calmed me down, but as I focused on it the intrusive thoughts only grew.

"Hey." Her voice was quite, almost a whisper.

"Can't sleep?" I answered, with the same crooked tone.

"No."

Her breath is still slow and calm, but I can feel my own heart pounding faster. I wonder if she can hear it beat from beyond my skin.

"When you talked about the type of person you like.

You weren't talking about a boy, right?"

I turned my head to face the wall, watching the creaks, trying to make them absorb my thoughts and visions. I knew she would hate me for it, and the thought of being honest made breathing almost impossible.

"No."

I listened the rumble of her bed sheets, and her light steps on the floor, and my squeaking bed as she set on its other edge. Tears filled my eyes and I swallowed the saliva down my throat.

"Was it about me?"

I rose up on my end of the bed, looking at her being the most difficult thing I have ever done. I couldn't see her clearly through my tears, but I knew she was absolutely beautiful.

"Yes."

She reached out her soft hands around the back of my head, leaning closer and kissing me.

I was surprised and uncomfortable but I loved every moment her tender lips touched mine.

I parted away, breathing heavily as I only now felt relieved. I sounded like a wailing baby, and I must have looked like one when I wiped off my tears that continued to come.

She sat there, holding herself. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable... I didn't..."

I braced her as hard as I could. We kissed again, now calm between each other's arms, trading our air between our body and stopping only when we had to. We cherished each other's beauty, finding comfort in each other's eyes.

She laid her head on my lap, and I caressed her hair. "I don't want to leave you."

"Me neither." I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I want to hold you until dawn. But the bed is too small."

She woke up and went to bed, and it dawned on me how tired I am. As we both lay in our separate cushions, she lends her hand towards mine, and I hold hers.