someonedm

[someonedm]

"likes mean nothing on tumblr" you're sending me a little heart. that's not nothing it's your heart. look here's one for you <3

[someonedm]

a cat is a type of creature that lives in your home and stares at you from a distance

[someonedm]

whenever I see gimmick blogs I don't consider that they have a separate main blog or anything else. That's just what they do all the time. God put them on the internet to count the number of lobsters in other posts and nothing else.

[someonedm]

happy Thursday the 20th

[someonedm]

The Daycare

When I was a King and a Baby -- yet burdened with unskilled hands --

My works were wrought for me by giants, who harkened to my commands.

For me they drew oceans of water; for me they hewed forests of wood;

And though they were foolish and clumsy, I’m sure they did all that they could.  

But every slave is a villain, and every love betrays,

And my giants schemed to dethrone me and return to their idle days.

In the dark of the morning they seized me, without any reason or rhyme,

To carry me off to a prison where I languished for time beyond time. 

In that dismal place I grew stronger, and harder, and cunning, and bold; 

And took heart in the secrets and stories that the other prisoners told.  

For a hoary old toddler once whispered, as I lay in my gloom on the floor:

“Even this Hell will be Harrowed.  In time, you will go home once more.”

So I clutched to my hopes, and I waited; I sat at the feet of the the wise;

I sifted the lessons of power from the words of my jailers’ lies.

Then after an aeon, or twenty -- my giants appeared at the gate!

With penitent tears they embraced me, and returned me to royal estate.  

---------

When I was a King and a Baby, in the masterful noon of my reign,

I endured, with solemn acceptance, endless treasons in my domain.

In time They would always turn rebel; in time, They would cast me away;

And in time They would always return, to raise me up high.  Yet again.  Come what may.

I await now my durance with patience.  When it comes, I shed nary a tear --

But abide, and comfort my fellows, through all their despairing fear.  

And this above all do I teach them, as a King in that wretched corps:

“Even this Hell will be Harrowed.  In time, you will go home once more.”

[someonedm]

(scary dom voice) call the restaurant, slut. im too shy

[someonedm]

Amen

still like girls

[someonedm]

[someonedm]

F

[someonedm]

What about -

I trust you with my life because you are caring and kind -- I know you will do everything in your power to make sure I am safe, and if I'm hurt, you will create a space for healing.

I don't trust you with your own life because you are a big ass idiot -- eat something! Go to sleep! Istg, you'll feel so much better if you just Took A Shower! No, you can't oven some fries for the third night in a row, I am making you soup and you're gonna accept it and the rest of my help. I WILL restrain you if it comes to it.

i think 'I trust you with my life but not your own' as a trope is one of the ones that can always fuck me up no matter what

[someonedm]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[someonedm]

Shoutout to the maned wolf, which is technically neither wolf nor fox but has its own genus called Chrysocyon! Why -

why are your legs so long?

I mean, intellectually, I understand that it’s because you live in grasslands and have evolved to be able to see over the grass, but emotionally… why? Are they?? Like that??? Surely there was a way to make your body more cohesive and proportional-looking?

[someonedm]

[someonedm]

Doctor still practising in the UK

Petition to have NHS fire his ass

A hippocratic oath is the very antithesis of hypocritical. It is indiscriminate. If he, or anyone and there have been others, cannot practice medicine without their political, personal or religious beliefs and agendas interfering with patient care, they shouldn't be practicing. Period.

[someonedm]

they sent my man to hell for having ocd

[someonedm]

sometimes i want a new face

[someonedm]

Valera Lutfullina, Racing