#to the extent that that's still up in the air after you learn I can cosplay jack slash

[artbyblastweave]

The good news is that getting fitted as a groomsman has cemented for me that I'd be capable of a kickass Jack Slash Cosplay. The bad news is that in the current media climate everyone would most likely assume that I was Mihawk or some such shit. And if someone assumed I was Mihawk or some such shit, well, I would have to check the Worm Honor Code, to be sure, but If someone assumed I was Mihawk or some such shit I might be obligated to commit sepukku right then and there on the convention floor using the prop sword. Again, I would need to check the code

[traveler-at-heart]

Across the Natashaverse - Part 2

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Summary: After you're sent to another world, Natasha has to deal with yourself, from another universe, and a very different life.

Other POV from this fic.

“Put more weight on your left foot” Natasha says, barely checking America’s movements.

Of course she knows this is important. Maria asked her to train Chavez in the basics of hand to hand combat. Her mind is elsewhere, though.

Especifically, you.

Natasha thought she was doing you a favor, she really did. Someone as kind as you could do much better than her. Agreeing to a date would only give you false hope, so she rejected the invitation.

It was foolish of her to think that things would be the same after that. You weren’t distant or rude, though that might have been easier.

Every morning, you’d still have breakfast with her, show her funny videos or tell her about your latest discoveries in the lab with Stark, which in the end, were related to her work as well.

You simply stopped sharing your interests, or going out of your way to seek her company. Long gone were the days of sitting together at the Met while you talked about your favorite paintings. Or the grocery shopping that turned into strolls through Central Park and ended in your favorite bookshop.

All that was left now were pleasantries.

“Am I doing it right?” America asks. She sure as hell isn’t, so Natasha shakes her head, hoping she can manage to focus on the task at hand.

“Stop” she says, stepping on the sparring mat.

“Please don’t tell me you want me to fight you”

“You’re punching the air, Chavez. The only way to learn is by doing. It will be fine”

The girl doesn’t seem too convinced, but Natasha starts with slow movements and corrects America as they go. When the intensity of the training increases, the girl’s powers begin to stir. A yellow flash on the ceiling distracts Natasha, and the next thing she feels is America’s fist colliding with her cheek.

“Crap! Agent Romanoff, I’m so sorry”

But there’s another loud thud, not far from the gym.

“Did you hear that?” Natasha asks, trying to figure what the noise is.

“Maybe”

“Take a break” Natasha instructs, looking around the room to check if everything’s alright. The team is still figuring out the extent of her powers and Natasha worries the girl just unleashed a demonic creature or something.

The redhead is so focused on the room, she doesn’t notice someone approaching.

That is, until she feels a hard slap on her ass, and a sultry voice against her ear.

“There’s my favorite ass-assin”

Five seconds later, she has the intruder upside down, back against the floor, gasping for air.

“Baby, I know you don’t like my jokes but this is a little too much, don’t you think?”

It takes her a second to process what’s happening.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, love” you smirk, all smug despite being knocked down by Natasha. “The weirdest thing just happened, I was going to get a snack because Anya was moody and then fell on my ass right outside the gym”

Natasha stares at you, as if you’re speaking a foreign language. And then it all clicks. The slightly longer hair, how you smell and feel different.

She let’s go of you and starts pulling your shirt by the collar.

“Hell yeah, let’s get naked”

“Where’s your birthmark?”

“I don’t have a…”

“You’re from another world”

“Ah, that’s so sweet…” you try to lean forward and kiss her, but she pushes you away. “Babe, I’m getting mixed signals here”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., call for an emergency meeting”

—

“I’m sorry, she’s what?” Sam points at you, and Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose.

“She’s from another universe. America must have opened up a portal when we were training”

“Alright, so she just opens it back and we correct the mistake”

“It’s not that simple” Tony walks in.

“Uhm, guys. This meeting should be for Avengers only” you lower your voice, eyeing the man suspiciously.

“Hello? That table you’re sitting in so carelessly. Mahogany. Paid by me”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen this man before”

“A world without Tony Stark” Steve says, amused.

“Must be really quiet in your Compound” Sam says and you smirk.

“Why, no thanks to you. Not with all those super models you’re always bringing back to your room” you raise your eyebrows and Sam’s eyes widen.

“I date super models? I wanna go to her world”

Steve and Tony begin to argue about how that will make the multiverse collapse, when Natasha interrupts them.

“She’s messing with you, idiots”

Tony and Sam look at each other and then at you. You almost fall to the ground as you laugh. Since you’re not helpful, the team ignores you as they keep discussing the best way to identify your reality and correct the glitch.

“Y/N 2.0, we need more information about your… where did she go?” Tony grumbles.

“I got this” Natasha sighs, stomping to the kitchen. Sure enough, you’re rummaging through the fridge, complaining at every item of food you find.

“Don’t you have anything with sugar here?”

“You’re free to prepare anything for yourself”

“Not unless you want the kitchen to explode, Nat”

The redhead pushes you aside, while you look around the living room, inspecting the pictures on every place you can find.

“No wedding? Or Anya?”

“Nope” Natasha says, her voice shaking lightly.

“Why?”

“None of your business” she says, handing you a plate with a sanwich.

“Thanks. How did you know I was lying about Stark and Wilson?”

“Your voice gets all high pitched when you tell a lie” she answers, refusing to look at you.

“Huh” you mumble, taking a bite out of the sandwich. “Um. Is this peanut butter?”

“Would her Highness prefer caviar?” Natasha teases, but turns around and finds you covered in hives. “Shit!”

“That’s fine” you say, struggling to breathe. “Nothing an epi can’t fix, love”

You pass out in the middle of the kitchen, wondering if you’ll leave this foreign universe in one piece.

—

After leaving you at the medbay, Natasha goes back to the meeting room. She’s examining all the reports and missions that are related to multiverses. It’s a lot to digest, including all the quantum physics.

Alone for the first time since this whole thing started, she finally allows herself the chance to miss you. Right around this time, you’d be making dinner, and she’d be in the kitchen, pretending to help just to be close to you.

What if she never gets you back?

“Hello, there” a voice says. You approach slowly, knowing it’s best not to surprise her.

“How are you feeling? I’m really sorry…”

“There’s no way you could have known. It honestly never occurred to me that things like allergies were different” you say, patting her leg. “Interested in string theory?”

“Yeah, it’s a great ice breaker” Natasha says, and you chuckle. “You don’t seem too worried”

“The America Chavez of my world has had a bit more training. I’m sure I’ll be back home for lunch tomorrow”

“You could have said something!” Natasha feels the need to kick your ass again.

“Hey, I was gonna! And then I almost died”

“Jerk”

“What are you so worried about? She’s in a safe world”

“What if your Natasha gave Y/N a similar welcome?”

“Oh, I’m sure she had her pinned to a wall, only for very different reasons”

Natasha turns to you, alarmed. Her jealousy is so obvious that all you can do is laugh.

“There it is. I wasn’t sure you had any feelings towards her. Wanna tell me what happened?” you nudge her chair with your foot and she looks at you, annoyed.

“She asked me out, gave me flowers, I said no”

“Flowers, huh? Well, she’s more romantic than me. Natasha and I were pretending to be a couple for a mission and then I just blurted out I wouldn’t mind doing it again under different circumstances” you explain, laughing at the memory.  “But hey, if flowers and chocolates aren’t your thing, I respect it”

“It’s not like that”

“Then, what is it like?”

She thinks back to all the times you’ve made her feel safe, cared for, loved. You make it look so easy, but for the life of her, Natasha can’t figure out how to reciprocate.

What you make her feel, is too good and beautiful for someone like her.

“I haven’t earned her love” is all she manages to say.

“Natasha” you call, softly, and only speak when she finally turns to you. “You don’t have to do anything to be deserving of love”

There is silence, and then you take her hand in yours.

“Come on, I’m starving. Let’s grab some Chinese”

“Fine. No more peanut butter, though. I don’t want to fight myself if something happens to you”

“Now that would be entertaining”

—

Next morning, everyone is back in the meeting room. Apparently, due to some bad experiences, they’ve decided you should come back to your world immediately, before the universes collapse.

“I promise you, it will be fine” you insist. Natasha is the only one that seems to believe you, so you save yourself the trouble and spin around in the office chair.

“Can you stop?” Steve says, irritated.

“I’m trying to create a vortex that is powerful enough to send me back to my reality, Steve” but he still glares and you stand up. “Fine. I’m getting a snack”

As you exit the room, Natasha comes running behind you.

“Wait. I wanted to apologize”

“Steve is an old grumpy man, don’t sweat it”

“No, not about that. I’m sorry for… being so hard on you when you first got here”

“We deal with aliens and all kinds of threats.  It’s not so crazy to think that an intruder is dangerous. It’s all good, Nat” you shrug your shoulders.

“I just wouldn’t be ok if your Natasha had acted that way with my Y/N”

“Your Y/N?” you repeat, pleased as Natasha blushes. “Good for you, Romanoff. Get the girl. Trust me when I say, she’ll make it worth it” you wiggle your eyebrows.

“Such a flirt”

“We can’t help ourselves around you, no matter the universe”

You wink, and walk to the kitchen, leaving Natasha in the hallway.

Inevitably, she thinks about you. The one that belongs here, with her. Are you enjoying your time in that other universe? Will you resent her for bringing you back? Maybe that Natasha is more loving and sweet, and you’ll finally realise that she can’t actually make you happy…

Her thoughts begin to spiral again, until the commotion in the room breaks her train of thought.

“Damn, you fell from the ceiling” Sam says, looking up. A yellow portal closes just as Natasha opens up the door. Everyone’s around you, and when your face comes to view, Natasha’s heart almost stops.

There’s a little cut and bruising from the fall, but you’re back.

She pushes everyone, and wraps you in her arms. You return the gesture.

“Hey, it’s ok. It’s me”

She hugs you closer, smiling against your neck.

Natasha’s never letting go again.

—

“So, tell me everything!” you say, sitting next to Natasha as you drive back home. “Did I tell you I almost died to peanut exposure?”

“Looks like someone had fun” your wife comments and you smile.

“What about you, my love? Did you do anything dirty with my other self?”

“Well, there might have been some kissing and touching before I noticed…”

“Not to brag, but the other Natasha was on top of me” you say, trying to pretend like it’s no big deal your wife kissed another you.

“You pissed her off and she threw you to the ground, didn’t she?” Natasha smirks.

Damn it.

“Maybe”

Seeing your daughter brings you back to reality. Fun as it was to be in another universe, your life is perfect here.

“Mommy, are you cooking dinner again tonight?” the girl says as you carry her to the kitchen.

“Uh… let’s have lunch first, yes? Go wash your hands”

Natasha hands you a plate of what the other Y/N made and you gasp.

“Holy crap, this is delicious! Babe, not gonna lie, I wouldn’t have judged you if you fucked her against a wall after tasting her food”

“You’re such an idiot” Natasha rolls her eyes, sitting on your lap and stealing a bite of the pasta. “But you are my idiot”

“Always and in every universe, baby”

You kiss her softly, happy to be home.

[boiohboii]

The people's sweethearts Ch.III

(Tom Holland x f!verstappen!reader x Zendaya)

Soulmate au

YN Verstappen had been through hell, by her own father, for something she didn't even ask for. She grew up learning that she should hate what was given to her, after all it was the reason her father was always angry with her. So what should she do when the one thing she learned to hate is the one thing that brings her love, safe and comfort that not even her older brother can compare.

WARNING: not proof read, Jos Verstappen (worsned like 10 times for this fic) poly relationship, derogatory terms by father, abusive father. If I missed anything else please let me know

ChII

masterlist

Will they blister and heal over like the last time or will they bleed for days on end and leave scars?

That was yn's first thought as soon as she heard the words of Christian Horner, and with how Max was looking at her, he had similar thoughts as well, which is quite saddening.

When Max first met Kelly, his first thought wasn't how bad his punishment would be, and he hated that this was what yn's thinking about as soon as she saw one of her soulmates. Her thoughts should've been on how she will spend their first date, on when she will get to meet her other soulmate, on how much her face hurts from smiling and her heart feels like it will leap out of her chest from joy.

And although both of them try not to cross paths with their father they still end up meeting him, he still comes by yn's University, which is something that always scares her, not knowing what her father's next move is, where will his hand leave a mark this time. Has she told Max of it? Not really, Max doesn't know the extent of which Jos still treats yn, all he knows is that sometimes Jos visits her at her university whenever he allows it, whenever he is there with her, ready to protect her from the harsh words and actions of Jos Verstappen. Max doesn't know that sometimes Jos visits when he isn't there, that yn goes with him to his flat. Whenever she'd try to tell Max he'd look at her with such tenderness, like she's so innocent and had never seen what she had, that she doesn't gather enough courage to tell him- thinking that maybe if he knew, he'd never perceive her the same way, he'd just get tired and angry of her self harmming ways, that he'd leave her behind because after everything he had done for her, to keep her safe and happy, she keeps going back to Jos, she keeps listening to him and hearing out his lame, repetitive excuses.

"Umm, hi."

Yn's thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice, her soulmate's soft voice.

"Mr Holland, hello."

Max was the one to reply, he knew that his sister's mind is a mess.

"Oh please, just- just Tom is fine, Max," an awkward silence filled the air, making Tom more nervous by the millisecond "is it okay to call you Max?"

Max smiles at the actor, "yeah, of course, you're older than me anyway."

"Oh, yeah, right." Clearing his throat, Tom looked at yn hoping she'd be the one to offer for the two of them to be alone.

"Right, so," seeing his soulmate avoid his eyes hurt, it hurt so much that he could feel his nose burning and his eyes watering "I was wondering if I could speak with my soulmate."

Even with tears in his eyes and a heavy heart he kept looking at her, urging her in his mind to just look at him, to stop the poisonous thoughts from creeping into his mind telling him to prepare himself for a rejection, to prepare himself to cope with the feeling of a missing soul, to prepare himself to tell Zendaya of how her soulmate rejected her without even meeting her.

Now, Tom doesn't have any sisters, but he'd like to imagine that if he had one he'd treat her like how Max Verstappen is treating Yn. He'd turn to her with the softest look in his eyes and a comforting face, asking her if she's okay to be left with her soulmate (he tried not to let this hurt him too much), asking her if she wants to be alone or if she'd rather have him besides her.

"It's okay," he could barely hear her feathery voice over the bustling paddock "I want to speak with him alone."

And with just one sentence Tom felt like screaming at the top of his lungs, he felt the colors becoming more vivid around him and his heart becoming lighter; maybe it won't end as bad as he imagined.

"Hi."

Her voice was so small, she sounded so fragile, almost scared.

"Um, hi, hello" Tom breathed out, mesmerised by his final piece "I didn't ask for your name."

"Oh, right," clearing her throat yn finally met his eyes "yn. I'm yn verstappen."

"Yn," God why did her name sound so pretty coming from his lips

"it's nice, no, wonderful to meet you. I've been looking to this day my entire life."

"Well, I'm here." Yn shrugged her shoulder as she showed him the palms of her hands, looking like she paused in the middle of making that one silly jazz movement

"Yeah, yeah, you're really here."

"How would you-"

"Can I ask-"

Their voices stopped at the same time, allowing the other person to talk, but neither did which was why they were sitting in such an awkward silence.

"Please go ahead."

"Right," yn started "I am not going to lie to you, I am not sure about this."

"This?" His eyebrows creased as his lips turned downwards, trembling as his voice cracked, he sounded so broken, he looked on the verge of tears, she feared that if she uttered another word that he'd cry, but she had to, he has to hate her, he eventually will so the earlier the better for her.

"The whole soulmate thing, I can't handle this."  Her heart clenched as she said those words, her fists clenching the black fabric of her dress at her knees, holding itself back from caressing the brit's face, from gently wiping away his tears and from kissing his forehead as she utters all the apologies and all the loving words she wishes she could say.

Yn would be lying if she said that she hadn't dreamt of this day, she used to stay up all night on weekdays imagining what it would be like to meet her soulmates, what would it be like to see the other parts of her soul, to look in their eyes and to tell them that she's ready, that she's with them forever, but she can't, as long as jos verstappen is in her life she can't see herself in a good light, all she thinks of is how much of a disappointment she was to her mother, how much of a disappointment she is for her father, and how much of a disappointment she will be to max as soon as he figures out what she does behind his back.

No one would love her, why would they love a person like her? A person who never wants to go anywhere, a person who is afraid of everything and everyone, she's always afraid of her own father- how could she possibly explain that to her soulmates, she's a person who will not be loved because she is not worthy of being loved, it's quite sad and unfair but that's the unfortunate truth- the fact that no one will ever love her and no one will ever miss her is yn's unfortunate truth.

"Why?" Tom questions as he looks through his tear filled eyes "why not?"

"I-" yn failed to come up with a fake, reasonable excuse because she doesn't want that. She doesn't want to reject her soulmate, all her life she had done things because she is afraid of her father, and it's not like she could just dump that on her soulmate on their first meeting after rejecting him "Can you accept that I just can't?"

"No, no, I can not accept that!" Tom's tone got a little too lough for his liking, clearing his throat he kept his voice in check "don't ask me to accept that you don't want me, that you don't want zendaya before you even got to know us, you haven't even met zendaya yet!"

Yn's tears got the best of her, quickly forming in her eyes and then in seconds they were streaming down her face.

"I can't, I just really can't," yn started as she tried to wipe off her tears, only for her vision to be more blurry and for even more tears to end up on her cheeks "I can't, and I know that it's unfair, I want to but I can't and I can't explain it to you because it's none of your business"

"But it is," even with all of the frustration in him, Tom made sure that he sounds reassuring and calm "it is my business because my soulmate said that she wants something, she wants me; us, but she's not saying why and I have to understand. I will understand, so please, just tell me, explain it to me," Tom moved closer to yn, stopping her palms from furiously rubbing her eyes and cheeks with his hand engulfing hers, yn could feel his skin on her cheeks "I want to understand."

Looking into his eyes, yn could feel herself calm down, the tears drying and her vision clearer "what if I don't want to? At least, not until zendaya is here?"

"Of course she'll be here, she really wants to meet you.

"She knows?"

"Well," moving his thumbs into a a Z shape onto the back of her hand Tom smiled at his younger soulmate "kinda. How about she explains it when she gets here in a few weeks, after you explain, yeah? How about the next GP, would you be ok with that?"

"Yeah, I think- I think I'd like that."

Ch.IV

{taglist: @celesteblack08 @minkyungseokie @woozarts @keii134 @celesteblack08 @sainzluvrr @fangirl125reader @ares10156 @formulas-bitch @laneyspaulding19 @elliegrey2803 @darleneslane @escapingrealitytroughwords @the-fandom-ness @skepvids @reneinii}

[djevelbl]

Alright! So! Kaboodle has been haunting my head like a cool little ghost roomie for a wee bit now /pos and I just,,,, look my blog is alllll about incoherently screaming into the void that is the internet about whatever is haunting my head this time, it was inevitable that bnuuy girliepop would get her own post ok? If nothing else, then it's surprising it hasn't happened before--

(like with Branzy's post from a while back, this is a character analysis of, y'know, THE CHARACTER??? so yeah! This is about the bunny girl killing ppl on LifeSteal and not whoever the hell talks behind the mic! I don't feel like I should have to say this, but I've seen ppl be dumbasses over LS!Kab AND actual Kaboodle too. so. don't be an idiot over this — you're encouraged to scroll on if you don't care to read it! This applies to any other names I throw around, like always — happy reading!)

So to preface whatever word vomit I'm about to commit, lemme bring it all out already: my knowledge of LifeSteal Season Six (the one that features Kaboodle) is basically One (1) whole recent stream, and maybe three videos all set on the very beginning of the season — don't expect this to be accurate, but I'll do my very best based on what I've got on hand.

With that out of the way, I'll proceed to yank bnuuy girliepop by the hair and into my microscope:

It's no secret that Kaboodle has a bit of a problem with trusting people, even to the point where she called whatever happened with ash "betrayal," when most of us wouldn't consider it that — she was taken advantage of (from what I understand of her POV to the situation), sure, but they were never teammates, they were never friends in the server; she's been having a big problem with trust and how she uses it, mostly because she's very extroverted and people-oriented — less in the sense that she knows how to read people and the little signs within their voices, and more in the sense that she thrives around people. She's insecure over her own survival abilities and her PVP prowess, and as such has taken to leaning on others to cover up her blindspots — she's been leaning on those surrounding her like her life depends on it because, to a certain extent, it does: if you don't know how to fight, you find someone who does and attach yourself to them, learn their tactics, grow alongside them so you can stand on your own; Kaboodle is still not yet there, she's just now realizing she has to stop trusting people just because they were chill with her once.

But she thrives within a group, she's extroverted and is fed energy through chatter and socializing — that type of person will intrinsically have it harder to detach their feelings from being projected onto other people (reason why she considers the ashswag incident a betrayal, even though I'm pretty sure there wasn't any precedent for trust to be placed on him) and as such will simply have it harder to keep to themselves; we can see this so clearly in how she interacts with others: she doesn't move even an inch, no flinch and no instinct to run away even as Clown launches into the air and he fakes an attack on her with the Mace. She follows ManePear around as they sneak close to PrinceZam and baconnwaffles0 to eavesdrop on their conversation, and barely fights back as she gets killed a half hour or so after with no indication of why he would do that. She calls Zam her "frenemy" and while that word includes enemy in its spelling, it also includes friend.

She still hasn't quite let go of Squiddo's betrayal, and while I'm not informed on what that situation is, I can say one thing about it: Squiddo learned from last season that they shouldn't blindly trust whoever she calls a friend outside of LifeSteal, I'm sure (the temporary ban they got for helping Wemmbu with... I think it was his orbital cannon??? Plus his support of the 4Cvit and Reddoons team-up over his support of Squiddo; these things would do that to you), so she doesn't — they allow herself to be friends and have teammates, allies, so on, but they're not above taking sides if that means she gets out on top (their betrayal of 4Cvit leaves this being very clear to the audience — she's done playing around, they're here to survive and win it; as much as one wins LifeSteal, of course) and this is a lesson all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new LifeStealers have to learn if they want to come back next season: whatever you and someone else had outside of LifeSteal stays outside of LifeSteal — once you're inside, your relationships are inherently different. There's no way about it.

Clown understands this — he's willing to partner up with friends and foes so long as it benefits him, and he's not above getting dirty if that's what it takes; he trusts people as far as he can throw them, and he fucking hates knockback on his weapons. Kaboodle is not exempt from this rule, regardless of whatever relationship they shared before LifeSteal Season Six — she can't quite wrap her head around this notion, especially obvious on her video about her first experience on the server: one of the first things she did in that thing was showing the audience a chart she made on how much she trusts people on the server, and in that chart she singled out Clown by saying that there's nothing that would make her distrust him because they're friends! They know each other! She knows him better than most do!

But he's not the guy she knows — he's most of that man, sure, but she's never experienced first hand how Clown is on the server.

What I find interesting, is that one stream I watched — technically I watched two: Kaboodle's Confrontation stream from the 5th, and Clown's POV of the same conversation; I didn't watch the whole Clown VOD, but it got pointed out to me (everyone thank clownscasino for this) that Clown was scared — to me he seemed more nervous than scared, but the point still stands on this whole thing: Clown was uneasy over meeting Kaboodle to discuss... Whatever it is she wanted to speak about; he wasn't indifferent, curious, bored — he was specifically uneasy over the concept. The conversation hung over his head like a thunderstorm cloud, never leaving and never lessening — he was affected by the idea and sure, it was because he thought she would try to kill him, but doesn't that say a lot about him?

He cares. In the absence of somebody to stay by his side, he's come to care for a familiar face.

... Did you know Branzy had been Clown's teammate consistently for three seasons in a row? (more or less — I'm new to this thing, cut me some slack) that's an incredible number, considering how polarizing and dividing LifeSteal can easily become for its players — they've all bounced around teams and allies like a twink at a fraternity party, yet Branzy had always remained by Clown's side; similarly, Clown stuck by Branzy's. They didn't help each other frequently — mostly because by the end of their runtime Branzy wasn't logging in all that much — but they sure as all hell stayed loyal to one another; there's a reason their duo is so popular, regardless of whether you wanna mash their character together like two Barbies or not: even within the massacre and bloodshed of LifeSteal, the violence and backstabbing and betrayal, the Funhouse Duo/Clownzy have always stood by each other.

Season Six is the first time that Clown doesn't have his bestie of all besties/his work bf around to lean back on — he's left on his own, and while he can certainly survive and even thrive on his own, it just isn't the same; there's no more friendly face he can pick out from the crowd, no more loving person to care for and fret over. He's always been alone, at the end of the day, but it hasn't stung half as much as it does now.

All of this is to say: Clown is an introvert telling Kaboodle to just "not trust people", while Kabs is an extrovert who can't help how she gets attached to people — they're an interesting duo to watch as they discuss, because while Kaboodle says that she's gonna start being more careful around people, not trusting others etc. etc., she still stays put as she watches Clown come down on her, Mace in hand. She still tells him that she trusts him as he's telling her "well you shouldn't!" She still follows ManePear around and gives him iron when she's asked, based on the momentary truce they held, a precarious thing entirely dictated by his hand and not hers.

I get what Clown is saying when he tells her to "not trust anyone — not even me", as he's the veteran between them and the one who has the most knowledge, he understands how the server operates and what the point of it all is, the atmosphere bred within its code and how it spreads like a disease amongst its players, yet it just circles back to being annoying — it reminds me of that conversation Woogie (I think) and Kaboodle had on her video about her first day(s?), where Woogie was undermining her experience, ideas and beliefs, and the only difference is the amount of misplaced loyalty Kaboodle has for (LS!)Clown; she trusts him without him having to do anything, and that's something that goes down wrong with him, obviously: he advises her to keep her cards to her chest, where somebody with less mercy (less love for her, less unwilling care, less desire to see her thrive on her own terms and by her own merit) would've let her get herself killed with that big heart of hers that's in need of affection and attention.

She's so excited as she recounts her last week to a listening Clown, immediately sighing with great relief as he explains he wasn't helping ManePear when he was hunting her, she says "I love Batman" as Clown exclaims he would be Batman and while I don't think cc!Kabs is quick-on-the-uptake enough to have a surface vs deeper meaning line thrown in the middle of Killerbunnies banter that's not necessarily fully in character, I reserve the right to believe whatever the fuck I wish, actually.

He humours her, lets her ramble and asks about what happened to her eye, he follows along with her DC comparisons and takes the time to explain to her what actually happened between him and ManePear.

He says he doesn't trust anyone, but doesn't love require some trust? What a hypocritical Clown, you turned out to be. I hope, if it comes down to it, you show her she matters more to you than those self imposed rules of yours, as I'm sure she'll show you you matter more to her then those rules you try to teach her

[adelheidvonschicksal]

hi i love your writings smm 🥺😩💞💞and i was wondering if you can write something for shy quiet , innocent fem reader whos like Literally an angel and very kind who haves healing techniques and also yuji's distant cousin with sukuna ?

A/N: I'm not the best at Sukuna, but here's a try! I kinda wanted to try to write him simped.

His predatory eyes have been on you for a while now.

Initially, it’s barely a development for Sukuna to learn that the vessel he’s stuck in has a cousin. It’s a distant relationship, separated by a couple of centuries, but it’s there. It isn’t a mark for concern until he sees your powers. Healing others isn’t special, but bringing back a missing limb, fixing a soul, the chance you could bring a body back, that’s more interesting.

“I didn’t manipulate their soul. The shape was wrong, so I gave it enough that it could put itself back to the way it wanted to be, and it worked out!”

You didn’t seem to really realize the extent of your own power, chirpily going on with life like a colorful bouncing baby bird from what he could tell. And as his interest in your technique starts to grow, it leads to something else he can’t explain.

Sukuna blames this body that he’s in for the reason his attention always sparks up whenever he hears your voice echoing in this body. Whenever Itadori interacts with you, there’s a torrent of happiness proliferating throughout his entire body, including to where Sukuna’s soul maintains itself. That’s where he decides this interest in you comes from.

That’s where the deliciously darkly satisfied sensation upon seeing fluster spread across your face whenever he decides to interrupt you and Itadori comes from. The way you squeak and shy into yourself, resisting that urge to tremble at his presence – which he can still make out – is mouthwateringly delectable. Sukuna presumed this was an easy way to piss off the other soul in this body, but that isn’t the case.

There’s a rush of something indecipherable when that innocent smile appears on your cherub face. The faintest hint of life threatens to lurch into his chest when you place a hand on this boy’s shoulder, sending that heat all the way down to him.

It irritates him because those actions aren’t caused by him but by the brat whose body he inhabits. It irritates him because he shouldn’t be thinking about these things in the first place. Desiring them. Desiring you. Never having the time to remember what this type of desire was in the first place.

At least not until now.

This body is failing, puddling with its own blood from the loss against a pitiful opponent.

Maybe Itadori should have brought you with him after all instead of leaving you behind at the mission start. Sukuna is already aware of the reason. His “precious little cousin” is the only family he has left after all, by his own miserable words.

(“How pathetic. You think you can’t protect her.”)

The brat was right to leave you behind if he died that easily.

“Uh, Sukuna?”

The King of Curses lifts his head; there’s cursed energy and light flooding this body, barely enough that his own soul clings on.

“Are you still…” a small cough, “in there?”

Sukuna wastes little time cracking an eye open. It’s a worth sight to see. Your cheeks are wet with the beginning of tears, a meek and scared gloss to your eyes when you notice him leering up at you from his head’s position in your lap, and your chest pumped up with a shaky gasp that makes him smirk.

“Isn’t this a surprise? Called on by the little lamb herself.”

Just like the name suggests, you tense and frightened like the fragile creature, a fear so palpable that he can smell it wafting in the air.

“Since this is such a rare occassion, I'll give you three seconds of my time. What do you want?"

Fearfully, you struggle to ask, “You can heal people, can’t you?”

Sukuna isn’t sure why you would ask that when you’re classified as a healer yourself. He’s positive the only reason he’s still here is due to your influence then it dawns on him.

“What’s the matter?” he cackles. “Not enough curse energy left to finish the job?”

When you fail to respond, he knows he’s got it right, and his brain already begins to turn with how many ways he could take advantage of the situation when you finally nod.

“What would I need to do for you to help me heal him?”

“You dare try to bargain with me.” His tone is brusque, pure intimidation mixed with amusement. “What could you possibly have to offer me that’s better than watching this punk sorcerer die?”

You’re as much of a fool as the boy, he thinks. The difference though is that unlike him, there’s more that the King of Curses wants from you: your power, your body, your soul, and the innocence comprising it and displaying in the doe-eyed look that you give him as you gently bite on your bottom lip.

“Please,” you shakily air out, tears spilling out in the weakness of your voice, “I’ll give you anything you want.”

“You.”

“Me?” you ask. There’s a moment of hesitation as your eyebrows knit together. “I-I don’t understand. Why me?” you question; there’s an air of confusion about the question, brewed from the innocent nature that can’t even begin to think what you would have that could benefit him.

“Do you want the deal or not?” he asks, patience artificially short. You’re hesitant, unsure what to say as you stare at him. “I’m not going to keep the offer up for long, woman.”

Slowly, the fear starts to drain from you, which causes him to go silent as your fingers brush your fingers along Itadori’s forehead, pushing the messy blood-soaked tufts of hair away. Your eyes waver, flooding with another layer of tears that collect on your eyelashes, but you quickly blink them away.

“I accept,” you finally relent, a forced smile stretching across your face; a fragile attempt to offer him, or rather yourself, a little optimism and sweetness that sends a lustful pulse down his stomach. “I’m yours.”

There it was, easier than he ever imagined, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the irony. This boy’s decision to protect you would be the very thing leading you to him.

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 are you to 𝐌𝐄 ?

To Blade, you were the sun stretching over a vibrant pasture of may flowers that broke like the golden yolk of an egg.

To Blade, you were the twirling winds of summertime as your smile emulated the very warmth of the sun and a dash of charming playfulness which never once failed to lighten the strain of burdens. Naturally flowing away like a stream of water or a feather in the wind.

To Blade, your patience was as steadfast and serene as a lake in still waters, the moon dancing overhead while you planted stars on his scars through tender kisses he did not deserve. Boundless and ever so infinite like your soul.

To Blade, you were both an instrument and it’s player: a sweet melody that echoed in his ears every daunting moment when the whispers of the past clouded his mind. Spotlight gracing your skin as the tunes of a forgotten tenderness swirled up into the air like the steam of tea rising from a cup. Thus, no matter his efforts or restraint, Blade kept finding himself at your front door, and thus, in your arms. Time and time again.

To Blade, each step you graced the ground with brought forth life: a child’s laughter, an old woman’s smile, the scent of honeysuckles. That was all your doing.

And Blade, was forever a shadow of destruction that was doomed to a life as devoid and blank as a starless night. Nevertheless, you were the stars. You littered yourself in his life; setting a subtle twinkle in the abyssal night of his being despite his lifeless form.

You were made of cosmic dust, maple wood and all the collective dreams of the universe. And Blade, who was undone bit by bit, followed you like a shadow looming behind in longing.

It had been so long since another soul touched him without underlying motives. He feared that.

Why did you harbour him in your house absent of fear? Why did your persistence invoke warm sensations? Why did your eyes unfailingly meet his?

Blade was keen on understanding you, yet, he gradually realized there was simply nothing to understand. Truth rolled of your tongue with ease and as for Blade, it got stuck in his throat, dying off. Yes, you were far from perfect, nevertheless, you carried yourself despite every thorn pricking your skin. Carving your way through each cavern; leaving subtle traces of discovery for him to follow.

The feeling swelled in his chest like a disease— and it terrified him. And yet, he could not put a name to it. A name to how his eyes lingered a touch longer than they should or how you rubbed his back. (And for the first time, he did not flinch at your touch or grab you by the arm.)

Thus, when the Astral Express offered you the chance to become a passenger, Blade clenched his fist and held his breath.

It was no wonder they asked you. After all, you were the polar opposite of what a Stellaron Hunter should be. You were amiable, mindful, calm, merciful yet seemingly lighthearted like a child.

Blade told himself that he dared not involve himself. You were a person of your own free will. Thus, you would deal with the consequences. There was no regard for him.

Nevertheless, the urge to tear you away from the conversation thrummed through his vile veins.

However, your reply would be forever ingrained in his sullen memory for the rest of eternity.

"I am honoured that you would consider me Mr. Yang," you articulate kindly, a smile reaching your lips, "But, I'm afraid I must decline."

"Oh? How so?"

You emit a silky chuckle, "If you asked me three years ago, I would have readily agreed," you pause then continue with vibrant eyes, "But, there are people I care for with my own life. It would be my biggest regret to leave them."

Until Blade can learn to fathom the extent of his own emotions, he will continue to linger beside you like a phantom or a shadow. Subconsciously yearning to nestle himself in your warmth, yet, always going through, a mere ghost of an absent lover in your presence.

masterlist

more angst :0 i think most of my blog will be angst lmao. btw this was originally posted on my other account @/mignonne02. i just took it down there. thank you for all the support! it makes me really excited to write more >> (please request btw) especially on my last post (diluc angst for life)

[chimaeray]

Mouthwashing thoughts assembled from my Discord messages with a friend while we both go apeshit about it

Spoilers this is your only warning because I will be getting RIGHT into it. Things are not organized super well it's all braindump baby. CW for game topics including sexual assault, torture, and general misery.

Jimmy's so certain everyone is or should be like him that he can't imagine anyone actually caring about other people. From Anya asking for any help and care whatsoever being a nuisance to him, to Swansea keeping watch at the utility room just trying to keep Daisuke safe and put him in that cryopod once everyone else was too far gone. This is unfathomable to Jimmy, who's first instinct upon learning they were all getting terminated was to belittle and shame everyone as a way to guilt Curly further. Of course including Curly himself, who was struggling (kind of having a midlife crisis) and putting on airs to keep everyone else calm and okay for this one last job. Jimmy is so sure of himself being able to fix things like Curly does, and figuring out how they can "both be heroes in this," that he makes a dying man eat his own flesh and then freezes him under the idea that this is GOOD and RIGHT. He doesn't care about the misery and pain Curly is in at this point. At first he seemed happy Curly was helpless and incapable. He seems to take satisfaction in volunteering to force-feed those painkillers, after he ridicules Anya first. He's so sure Curly should be grateful and thank him for all of this. He can't take responsibility even when he kills himself, all he does is reassure himself he did the best he could at every moment and fixed it all in the end. Curly will be miserable for the rest of the life he may or may not have. Jimmy got his, alright. Curly was feeling unsatisfied with his life, so isn't this better now? Curly says he doesn't want his life to feel like something he has to escape, but now his own mutilated body is the prison. While he watches and hears everyone else die, and he can't even try to fix it anymore. He missed his chance to do anything about Jimmy before it was too late. And when Jimmy says he can still fix this, make sure they survive and will be okay, Curly wheezes and laughs at him.

My take on Curly is that he did his best by and large, but he valued his relationship with Jimmy and trying to salvage it more than he should have especially when Anya told him she was raped. He is still a man in a place of power that didn't want to rock the boat too much, and that ended up enabling someone that would rather implode the whole fucking thing. After everything Anya still chose to die with him. She loved him(in the very least platonic but I know romantic was teased), still felt safest with him, and wanted to keep them both safe from Jimmy. So she locked them into a room together to die, quietly, away from him. Even if that made Curly witness as she overdosed and died. She had the gun hidden away with them, out of Jimmy's reach. Until Jimmy manipulates Daisuke into crawling up that vent, sentencing a young and hopeful man to a miserably painful death. Jimmy doesn't even respect Anya's authority and capability as the nurse (at all) enough to have listened when she said the mouthwash would be too sugary to use as an antiseptic. He still pours it onto Daisuke's wounds, because his short-sighted selfishness used up the entirety of the last bottle of antiseptic they had to poison Swansea.

(Daisuke is literally in an osha training video that's like "If you know it's dangerous don't do it! Even if a supervisor says so!")

By the end Jimmy only feels guilty for some of it. He knows he sentenced them all to a miserable death but he only feels guilty for Daisuke, and then Curly to a point. He doesn't really regret Swansea that much, it seems mostly like he's bothered he got caught (Swansea even tries leveling with him, to some extent--somewhere between a confessional and a final reach to see if he can be reached at all). He only worries about what having to deal with a baby might mean for him, but he doesn't give a shit about Anya at all. She's a non-issue in his mind, just some pathetic and poor girl that couldn't even get through schooling. He's only worried about the fact that a baby means he'd have to be responsible for it, and whatever discipline may come from the last remains of the company for sexually assaulting the nurse. Her suffering matters so little to him, if at all even considering he smears her entirely out of his perception while looking for antiseptic.

He's such an unreliable asshole he can't even confront himself, he has to use Curly and Polle as his conscience in his hallucinations.

The party scene is so intense. What a way to illustrate how off the deep end he is and it feels deserved. It's not just used to show he's insane and trying to cope by pretending they're all alive. It's everything he wanted. Praise, adoration, respect. Part of what I think is very interesting is he refuses to admit they're fully gone, but he doesn't necessarily deny their appearances. He isn't fixing them to look normal in his hallucinations, it's still their dead bodies he's propped up in chairs around him. Like a really weird coping mechanism to assure himself that its fine, he did it, he did a good job. Now he just needs to eat and celebrate with everyone! They just need to eat a little bit of Curly, get through one more meal, it'll be okay!

[nnooahhsworld]

YANDERE HUSKER X MASC! READER WITH FLUCTUATING APPEARENCE

SUMMARY: Headcanons of “Yandere” Husk x Reader with fluctuating appearence.

FANDOM/CHARACTER/READER: Hazbin Hotel ;; Husker ;; Masc Reader.

PAIRING: Romantic or Platonic

WARNINGS: Stalking, manipulation, overprotective and Obssesed behavior, reader being kinda mentally unstable and insecure.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: love this request by @cupophrogs!! even if this isn't really yandere, i still wanted to implied it since that what's about my account.

✧ Honestly, I can't think of any other way you can meet Husk other than walking into the hotel and staying there.

✧ At first, you are insignificant to him (as ugly as that sounds). At first.

✧ I don't think Husk is someone who is very curious. Let alone gossipy. He's not nosy about other people's lives and tends to ignore them as long as they don't mess with him.

✧ Still, he is a great listener. He is willing to listen to others and gives good advice. I mean, he died while he was an old man, something he must have learned in his human life or in his life as an Overlord.

✧ Or after delivering his soul to the radio demon.

✧ But over time, he shows you more attention. I mean, the fact that your appearance and certain physical aspects of you change depending on your mood is intriguing.

✧ Because he has seen it. Everyone has seen it.

✧ You are someone with emotional problems, sensitive to a certain point. Your moods are constantly changing and therefore, certain characteristics of yours. That managed to capture his attention rather quickly.

✧ He is interested in these changes... how your teeth and fingers become sharper, your skin/fur becomes hard as scales and even your hair grows longer when you are angry and ready to attack.

✧ How your eyes get bigger, other smaller eyes appear and you can certainly shrink a little when you are startled by being off guard or feeling threatened or in danger.

✧ As your skin/fur grows and you lock yourself in it making yourself into a ball when you are sad and don't let anyone near you as your fingers sharpen to threaten anyone.

✧ As for that, Charlie really tries to help you. She wants to be there for you when you're down like your good friend but you shut down. With her, with everyone... except with Husk.

✧ Everyone opens up to some extent with Husk. Either because they're really drunk or they seriously need someone to talk to and Charlie isn't always the best, unfortunately.

✧ Let's remember that Husk knows everyone's problems in the hotel and sooner or later, he knows yours too. How you hate to overreact to anything, how you hate to see your appearance deform and become something horrible in your eyes because of your moods.

✧ Husk feels... pity. Although, after a while he becomes more overprotective as he forms a bond with you.

✧ At a certain point, understand your self-hatred as well, it's not nice that people in general are scared of you in general because of your mere appearance.

✧ Once he knows you beyond your problems, once he sees the sinner calm instead of angry, once he knows the real you, that's when his real obsession begins.

✧ Obsession that confuses with severe concern for you and becomes suffocating.

✧ He gets to the point of following you around when you're not in the hotel. You're not someone very powerful and you're in hell itself. Everyone is crazy and you'll never be safe there. Not unless he's in the shadows, watching you warily.

✧ You feel something strange in the air... eyes staring at you, your mind screaming at you that you are not as safe as you think and consequently, small eyes appear on your face and look everywhere desperate and scared, your fingers and fangs sharpen in any alert situation.

✧ Even inside the hotel, he watches discreetly and quietly. And that's one of the reasons why you're also a little more restless and cautious: you don't stop having that uneasy feeling no matter where you go.

✧ And you go to Husk for protection and the thought only gets worse once you get close.

✧ Husk wants you to only have confidence in him.... he doesn't like it when he notices you closer to Angel Dust, when you spend more time with Sir Pentious. And if you were to become close with Alastor, Husk would go crazy.

✧ His obsession with you turns him into a paranoid overthinker. What if he makes a deal with you? What if he steals your soul? What if he takes away your freedom? What if he takes you away from him?

✧ He puts his fear into your head indirectly. Subtle warnings, reminders of how dangerous Alastor is... whatever it takes to keep you safe.

✧ He also manipulates you into not trusting others. I mean, as jealous as he gets to feel, deep down he's happy to see you making friends. But shit, he's afraid that you won't trust him anymore, that you'll stop going to him for comfort, that he won't be the only one who sees through you anymore.

✧ So go ahead, bare your fangs and claws at the others but open your arms to him... only him.

[sideprince]

This part of Snape's memories that he gives to Harry has been talked to death, but please indulge me while I dig it back up because meta rests for no man. Emphases in the below excerpt are mine:

The corridor dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: Harry seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colours until his surroundings solidified again and he stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone … his fear infected Harry, too, even though he knew that he could not be harmed, and he looked over his shoulder, wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for - Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air: Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand. ‘Don’t kill me!’ ‘That was not my intention.’ Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand. ‘Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?' 'No - no message - I’m here on my own account!’ Snape was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him. ‘I - I come with a warning - no, a request - please -‘ Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other. ‘What request could a Death Eater make of me?’ ‘The - the prophecy … the prediction … Trelawney …’ ‘Ah, yes,’ said Dumbledore. ‘How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?’ ‘Everything - everything I heard!’ said Snape. ‘That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!’ ‘The prophecy did not refer to a woman,’ said Dumbledore. ‘It spoke of a boy born at the end of July -‘ ‘You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all -‘ ‘If she means so much to you,’ said Dumbledore, ‘surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?' 'I have - I have asked him -‘ ‘You disgust me,’ said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. ‘You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?’ Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. ‘Hide them all, then,’ he croaked. ‘Keep her - them - safe. Please.’ ‘And what will you give me in return, Severus?’ ‘In - in return?’ Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, ‘Anything.'

Firstly what stands out here is that that Snape is the first one to refer to Harry and James and not just Lily, not Dumbledore. Snape says, "he is going to hunt her down - kill them all" showing that from the outset he was aware of not just Lily's fate, but her husband's and son's as well. His warning to Dumbledore takes them into consideration too, so from the outset we see that Dumbledore's assumptions are likely biased.

It's Dumbledore who assumes Snape is only thinking about Lily and doesn't care about her family. Although Snape is clearly more invested in Lily, focusing on her as Voldemort's target when he first speaks, he doesn't exhibit the selfish tunnel vision Dumbledore accuses him of. In fact, immediately after Snape says "them all" it's Dumbledore who changes the conversation to be specifically about Lily again. It's understandable that Snape is more concerned about Lily - she's the one he grew up with and was friends with, although it's likely Dumbledore doesn't know this, and may never learn the full extent of Snape's relationship to her, not even to the extent that he shares with Harry in his final memories. Snape refers to her as Lily Evans, not Potter, likely because he's so used to Evans being her name, having spent his whole childhood knowing her by it. His relationship with James was one of victim to abuser, so it's understandable that in this moment of panic and anxiety, James Potter isn't the most important thing in Snape's mind.

It's important to how the dynamics between Snape and Dumbledore play out in this scene that Snape is terrified. He's described as "panting, turning on the spot" and his fear is so palpable that even Harry feels it, though he knows he's safe and in a memory where he can't be harmed. Snape is coming into this conversation out of desperation, and trusting a man who didn't seem to care much when Snape's life was threatened by a fellow student in his fifth year at Hogwarts. To Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let Sirius' prank slide even though it could have killed him. Years after this scene on the hilltop, when Sirius escapes from Azkaban, he still asserts with viciousness that Snape deserved to die just for being too nosy about him and his friends. So to Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let that attempt on his life slide, and who invited Sirius and James - both his attackers, as far as he's concerned - to join the original Order of the Phoenix.

To Snape, Dumbledore is someone who doesn't care if he lives or dies, and who trusts and respects people who, as far as Snape is concerned, are violent and ruthless. This is compounded by the time he's spent in Voldemort's ranks, where's he's seen firsthand what people like that - violent and ruthless - are capable of. He likely sees Dumbledore as a leader who is just as volatile as Voldemort. Since we know that Voldemort doesn't believe in light and dark, good or bad, only in power and weakness, we can assume that Snape has taken on some of these ideas. His perspective may also be informed by his experiences with the bullying of the Marauders, who claimed to hate his proclivity for "dark" magic while perverting innocent spells like scourgify to enact violence (if you've ever tried to eat soap as a kid, you can imagine how vile that might be, let alone if it's blocking the airflow in your trachea). So in Snape's eyes, Dumbledore is probably not the light to Voldemort's dark, but a rival wizard fighting for power, and therefore someone he likely assumes will resort to similar brutality.

As far as Snape is concerned, Dumbledore could strike him dead just for being there. And yet he walks into this meeting, the arrangement of which is already a mortal risk, knowing he might not leave it alive. His first words to the man are, "Don't kill me." Even if he were there just to plead for Lily's life and not care about her family, his willingness to sacrifice himself to save her is already an act of bravery and frankly, I think it's a much more complicated moral dilemma whether one can choose who to give their own life for than Dumbledore's harsh condemnation makes it seem. Can we expect a man to risk his life for a friend? That's a question with a complex and multi-faceted variety of answers. Can we expect him to risk his life for an enemy, or an abuser? That's a long and complex answer with even fewer clear conclusions.

Dumbledore, meanwhile, sees himself in Snape. We see through the HP series, especially in this reveal at the end, how intertwined his relationship with Snape became. We learn that Dumbledore spends his life carrying the guilt and pain of his sister's death and his direct or indirect role in it. It's a pretty common reading of his and Snape's relationship that Dumbledore understood the depth and irrevocability of Snape's regret and guilt firsthand. Knowing all this, it's hard to read Dumbledore's judgment of Snape on the hilltop, and his immediately conclusion that Snape is only interested in protecting Lily - despite warning that Voldemort intends to "kill them all" - as being objective. I read it as Dumbledore projecting his own guilt and anxiety onto Snape in that moment. In addition, as @said-snape-softly pointed out to me very aptly, the prophecy was overheard in the Hog's Head, which is run by Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, adding onto Dumbledore's personal baggage coming out in this moment. Dumbledore's own feelings are loaded and he makes assumptions about Snape's goals and motivations out of his own anxieties about himself.

And Snape lets him. He's been under Voldemort's thumb, a murderous sociopath who throws unforgivable curses around like most people sneeze. He's desperate and terrified and isn't going to argue with Dumbledore. Dumbledore says, "Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?" and Snape replies that he has. But as we've seen already, Snape has included Harry and James and Dumbledore - as the person with all the power and leverage in this conversation - has changed the subject to focus on Lily. Snape is in no position to argue about semantics in this moment. The same way he brought up Harry and James to Dumbledore only for them to be ignored by him, he may have brought them up to Voldemort only for him to react similarly.

Given what we know about Voldemort as a character, once he has decided to go after Harry and not Neville, there's no changing his mind. Any effort made to sway him would fail and only add the asker to the pile of bodies Voldemort leaves in his wake. James and Lily are both targets, because canonically they have defied Voldemort three times and are members of the Order fighting against his cause. Snape may be able to beg for Lily's life - and we see that Voldemort assumed it was because he "desired her" - but James' is almost impossible to argue on behalf of, even if he wanted to. Snape can't claim any intimate connection even if it's a lie, because James is in the Order and enough of an enemy to Voldemort that he was targeted on the basis of Trelawney's prophecy. The fact that Snape went to Dumbledore means that he is asking for Lily's whole family to be protected, not just her. It's not just extra insurance in case Voldemort decides to kill everyone in his path to Harry, it's an effort to save Lily and the people who matter to her as well. Snape knows that Dumbledore will give them a fighting chance where Voldemort won't.

When Dumbledore accuses Snape of not caring if they live or die, Snape says nothing. He doesn't confirm or deny this accusation, and as we've seen, he's terrified and Dumbledore has already twisted his words and judged him, so it's reasonable to assume Snape is worried that if he says the wrong thing, all will be lost. Dumbledore could have just accepted Snape's warning and told him to leave. He could have accepted the warning and asked why Snape gave it. Instead, he jumped to conclusions and threw them in Snape's face, a frightened man risking his life who learned quickly in this conversation that Dumbledore hates him and is judging him, and who learned while still at school that Dumbledore doesn't value his perspective or even his very life.

And then Dumbledore asks him, "what will you give me in return?" Snape is caught off guard, because as far as he knew, he was already doing Dumbledore a favor. He's offering him free information that will enable him to protect two of his Order members when the Death Eaters already outnumber them twenty to one, as Lupin said in OOtP. Again, Snape is risking his life - if Voldemort finds out he had this conversation with Dumbledore, he's definitely dead. As far as he knows, Dumbledore could kill him, as his opening sentence in this scene shows. And yet, Dumbledore turns this around - like the tactical, manipulative military leader he is - and posits the situation as being one in which he's doing Snape a favor by heeding his warning. As if he were choosing to protect Lily and her family for Snape's sake, not his own, and not theirs. Many years later, Dumbledore will ask Snape how many people he's watched die, and Snape answers, "lately only those I could not save." But in this moment on the hilltop, that's already what Snape is doing.

[owlphibiaisthebest15]

Hi guys! I want to talk about a minor problem I have with Amphibia and how they could've been done better. I will not be talking about any of the big problems that people have already complained about, like Sasha and Marcy's lack of screentime, their character arcs, parents, nobody talking about Marcy after "True Colors", yada yada yada, because we don't need another post like that, and I want to keep this overdue rant as short as possible. This is based on my personal opinions along with a few others, but feel free to disagree with me if you want. But with further, let us begin...

Anne almost always gets way too easily forgiven for f*cking up.

Okay! This one may be a hot take because I have never seen another person complain about this. But this has been eating me away for MONTHS, and if no one else is going to say it, then I will. While this occasionally extends to some other characters depending on the episode. The one I want to talk about most is Anne. Now, at the start of the series, Anne was pretty much a jerk with a heart of gold. She was selfish, bratty, lazy, and irresponsible, but she did learn from the mistakes that she made and became a true hero by the end of the series. While some of these flaws and mistakes are not worth talking about, there are still others that are actually worse than what the show's narrative portrays them to be.

They may not be as bad as leading a toad army to invade the capital city, burying the only thing that could get Anne home, or sending your friends to another world on purpose. Anne has still made some pretty questionable decisions, even to the point where they often cross the line.

Here's a list of some of the worst things Anne Boonchuy has ever done from Season 1 and 2:

Breaking Hop Pop's favorite cane that also happens to be a keepsake of his father and grandfather all while making fun of him.

Manipulating Sprig into taking Bessie the family Snail on a Joyride without reading. Which is like someone taking a car out for a spin without a driver's permit.

Forcing Sprig to marry Maddie despite his obvious discomfort for Pizza Dough and later forces him to date Ivy while he's still engaged to Maddie.

Faking being sick to get out of farm duty, which led the Plantars getting sick themselves and even thought they were all going to die from red leg.

Slacking off while she was supposed to be protecting the frozen townsfolk, while aware of what happens to one of them while they're frozen. Which, of course, led to Polly almost getting eaten by a giant weasel.

Causes massive property damage with Polly while on the streets of Newtopia, and later breaks into Newtopia University in hopes of finding a rad college party. The second one was Polly's idea, but Anne had no problem going along with it.

A team effort along with her frog family. Sending a giant chicken to attack Wartwood. Which BTW can create tornadoes, breathe fire, and even turned their loved ones into stone, all because they forgot to buy everyone gifts. Sure, Anne was against the idea, but she still went along with it.

What do characters usually respond with when Anne admits her mess ups?! "It's okay! You're good! What you did was serious, but it doesn't matter that we almost died, as long as you learned your lesson."

Though Anne still at least got a lot better, as the worst things she's done in Season 3 were covering up some major plot points from her parents, robbing a museum to get a clue on how to find a way back to Amphibia, and tricking Blair the Balloonist into flying a hot air balloon. Though, the first one is still a little f*cked up, but she did have selfless reasons for doing these, and she came clean for 2/3 of these.

But still, 90% of this show is just a lighthearted slice of life cartoon, but when it shifts to its dark story driven and plot twisting side, this is where the narrative (and by some extent Anne herself) gets pretty hypocritical. It's pretty much when Anne messes up and lies to other characters. It's a simple error in judgment. But when other main characters such as Sasha, Marcy, and even Hop Pop do the same to her, first they gotta face hell for it, and then they get their redemption arc.

Yes! They did do some serious sh*t, and Anne had a right to be mad at them. But it seems that other characters are just not allowed to even stay mad at Anne when she does pretty similar sh*t. I mean, yes, she does try to make up for it, and yes, she admits what she's done most of the time, and eventually, she does become a better person from them. But so have Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy. But again, they didn't get the protagonists treatment. They got hurt and thrown around like ragdolls because of one or two big mistakes, and even that wasn't enough.

While Anne sometimes faces some consequences for her actions, like breaking Hop Pop's heirloom cane with HP giving her dish duty for a month (Cmon man! You should've given her way more than that!), gets banned from an arcade because she threatened to eat newt kids for cutting in line (which is not important), and most importantly, gets stranded in Amphibia after being peer pressured by her friends to shoplift it, all on her 13th birthday. Which I guess was enough for karma itself to feel so bad for her that she will hardly ever worry about facing any lasting consequences for her misdeeds ever again. While karma beats the cr*p out of others who would dare lie and betray our precious protagonists, even when they have sympathetic reasons for doing so.

Speaking of, this leads to me to clarify something that some fans have misinterpreted since the beginning of the series. The flashback scene in the second episode, "Best Fronds," was intended to show where Anne's distorted views on friendship and some of her toxic traits come from. Not to justify every single bad decision Anne has ever made, like what some fans think.

While I'm not gonna say that Anne was just as bad as Sasha before Amphibia, as it does show that Anne had her own personal flaws that she had to get through without depending on her friends. Who were more enabling her flaws than causing them.

However, while the show does try to show that Anne wasn't exactly much better in their friend dynamic than they were. For the reasons I mentioned earlier, it instead paints Anne as the least toxic one or not being toxic at all. With them only making a handful of moments that show that even after their betrayals, Anne still isn't much better than them. But the usual wacky slice of life narrative in her character development episodes downplays the severity of her actions, with Anne only just getting an emotional lesson after nearly getting everyone killed, and some of the said lessons being brought up in a few episodes to test her character or as examples to show others how much she has grown.

Now, I'm going to do some comparisons between Amphibia and The Owl House. While there are several things that Amphibia did better than TOH and about an equal amount of things TOH did better than Amphibia. One of those things that The Owl House did better than Amphibia was the writers treating each and every character fairly. The characters make mistakes and learn from them without the narrative downplaying the seriousness of their mistakes, and it isn't always "Okay! You're forgiven! What you did was serious, but it doesn't matter that we almost died. You learned your lesson, and that's what matters." While it doesn't give other characters the short end of the forgiveness stick for doing similar sh*t. With that, it also makes the character arcs a little bit better, in my opinion.

However, I'm not saying that Anne's character development was bad or that Matt Braly is treating Anne like how some see Alex Hirsch did with Mabel. The show did alright with changing a bratty teenager with flawed views of friendship into a true and selfless hero. All of what I described seems to what TV Tropes would call "Protagonist Centered Morality," and if I'm being honest, but because of that reason, I don't find Anne to be the most appealing character to me. I'm sorry! I know that a lot of you love her, and she's the second most popular character in the show; with the first being Marcy (my favorite), but I don't even dislike her either. I just feel that the narrative could've done better in treating the characters more fairly, like how TOH did with their characters. I really want to like Anne more than I do now, but for what I described, it makes it kinda hard for me to.

That's it for my opinions on this. This was longer than I thought, so if you read it this far or read it at all. You either think that I have a point and should do more of this or my analysis stinks, and I should never speak my dumb mind again. I'll probably see how this goes either way. If anybody else here still cares about this show.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Double-Mutated Mikey

Chapter 11: Anthropophobia

Continued from the short story written by @boots-with-the-fur-club

Prev || Next

Splinter is the first to meet April as she walks in. She's carrying several bags that hang from her wrists and arms. Apparently she went grocery shopping before she got here.

Splinter walks over to her and nods his head in greeting.

"Ah, April. Good to see you again..." he sniffs the air, his demeanour immediately changing from composed host to excited foodie. "Ooooh, is that tiramisu I smell?"

April laughs as she reaches into one of the bags.

"All for you, Splints," she says, handing the box of cake over to Splinter, who grabs it with a huge grin.

"Aha! Come to big papa! Thank you, April, this is very kind of you."

"Anything for you and the guys," she says with a smile. "Speaking of which, how's Mikey doing?"

Splinter pauses.

"...How much have they told you?"

"You know Donnie, he likes to be vague and build up suspense for dramatic effect. But he texted me last night to say how the mission went."

"Did he?"

"Sometime at like, midnight or one AM," she grumbles. "Just to say that the mission was a success and they got Mikey back. I asked how he was, and all he said was that he was alive and conscious. But I haven't known Donnie all these years to not know when he's hiding something. So, how is Mikey, really? Is he okay?"

"It's difficult to say," Splinter mumbles, walking back into the lair with April. "He's... he's awake and can communicate, to some extent. He can walk and even run. But... I'll let you decide when you see him."

April is unsure what he means by that, but lets it slide. She's sure she'll find out in a bit.

The three other Hamato sons come into the room to greet them. Leo is first, rushing in with haste. Raph comes in after him, his pace quick but not as swift as Leon's. Donnie meanders in last, his stride slow and somewhat sluggish. He looks exhausted.

"Hey, family!" she says, leaning in for a hug from Leo, who takes half of the bags from her as Raph takes the rest. "How're you holding up?"

"Well enough," Leo mutters. "All things considered. At least, I haven't had a emotional breakdown yet!"

Raph looks embarrassed. Apparently he can't match that boast.

"Where is the man of the hour?" April asks. "I got some new paint pens for him."

Leo looks uncomfortable.

"Uhh... we left him in Donnie's lab. I think he's still asleep... let's get these groceries into the kitchen for now; we'll tell you about everything."

April nods sadly as she follows the guys.

.

.

.

"Hold him still!"

"Stop struggling!"

"Get me 20 Cc's of the mandrill, the boa, and the -- crap, he's gotten loose again!"

Mikey shrieks as he jumps down from the operating chair and dashes to the exit. A guard blocks his path, a cattle prod in his grip. He flicks the switch on it and a loud grinding sound ignites as blue sparks fly from the end. Mikey makes a quick turn and dodges him, running to a corner of the room and cowering. The doctors surround him angrily.

"Where's that frost gun?"

"Over there by the table!"

"Antagonizing little cretin! You'd think he'd have learned his lesson from the last time!!"

One of the men in white comes back, brandishing a long thin airgun with a blue stripe down the middle. A special weapon made specifically for him, for when he acts out. The doctor points it at Mikey and pulls the trigger. A gust of icy air shoots out directly at Mikey. He screeches in pain as the shock of temperature causes his body to go rigid. He falls to the ground convulsing and shivering, painful stabbing sensations prickle across his entire body. He almost feels like he's dying. He can't move.

The guards grab him roughly. He can't move to fight back. Mikey sobs and screams.

He hurts so much, there are so many hurting places on his body.

Needles that have broken the skin to inject what Mikey can only assume is poison because of how much it hurts.

Bruises from where he has been forced into places with other animals to see how they interact. They are never friendly. Mikey is the only one to ever walk out of the room again. Instinct is efficient and ruthless.

There is no love in this room. Only hate. Only pain.

Mikey is taken back to the chair and strapped down. He howls.

"I'd advise you not to do that again," a doctor says with anger burning in his eyes. "Or else there will be consequences."

Consequences worse than what is happening now? He doubts it.

Syringes prick his arms. Oozes and slimes and ghastly liquids are shoved into his veins and bloodstreams. He can feel it doing painful things to him, he feels his bones shift and crack and grow and shrink. His teeth snap into new formations and his fingers start to elongate, the nails splintering and curving into talons.

Mikey sobs. Why is he here? Why do they hate him? Where are the other ones?? Where is Red, and Blue, and Purple? Where did they go, why have they left him behind? Did they escape this place? This place is all he can remember, apart from them. He only recalls needles and linoleums and cages and cold and pain and tears and hatred and fury and longing and loneliness.

Why did they leave him... didn't they love him, once?

Didn't anybody love him once?

No. No one could ever have loved anything from this place.

No one could have loved whatever it is that Mikey is.

.

.

.

Mikey's eyes snap open, tears streaming down his cheeks.

He doesn't recognize this room. It's another cage? It's a small white tunnel, he's stuck inside, he needs to get out!

Mikey clambers around, whining and crying like a puppy stuck in a kennel. He somehow manages to make a backwards shimmy out of the tunnel.

He is in Purple's lab. He wants to leave, now. Right now.

Purple and Blue and Red aren't in here. Where did they go?

The door is open. Mikey rushes out, calling for them.

He howls, long whining hoots that anyone within the lair could hear. Why don't they respond? Where are they?

They left him again...? They left him. They left.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

Mikey starts to whimper.

Should have known they would leave...

No, they wouldn't leave!

Then where are they?

Somewhere... Brothers are somewhere... He'll find them eventually.

No trust. Something bad. Smell something bad.

Mikey smells it, too. Where is the bad smell coming from?

It's not a disgusting scent. In fact, it is, in some ways, very nostalgic. There are traces of coconut oil in it. Sweet scents. But it is a bad smell.

Something dangerous is in the home.

It's coming from the kitchen...

Mikey goes into hunting mode. He digs his talons into the cracks between the bricks in the wall. As he climbs, the pads on his palms shift, tickling sensations that give pins and needles on his hands. Miniscule hairs create Van der Waals forces, causing a suction effect as Mikey starts to scale the wall and crawl to the ceiling.

He sneaks along the top of the hallway, following the bad smell.

Mikey cranes his neck down to peer into the kitchen. Everyone is inside, unloading bags and boxes and containers of food and supplies.

Rat is in the corner of the room, wiping his eyes. He was crying. The human who made breakfast is also in here, quietly rummaging through the pantries and cabinets as he places things away. He looks like he might cry, too. Blue, Red and Purple are holding someone in their arms. She is making a lot of noise, weeping and wailing and sobbing in their embrace. Apparently everyone was crying.

They must love her.

But she smells bad. She has the bad smell. Why trust bad smell?

The bad smell is human.

We don't like humans.

No... we don't... but the male human made the food for us! We trust male human?

NO. No trusting humans! Bad humans! They do terrible things to us. Mikey must not trust humans. Only Instinct. Instinct kept us alive.

Instinct kept Mikey alive...

The male human seems to sense something is watching them, and looks up. He yelps in surprise.

Red, Blue, and Purple turn to look at him, then at what he's pointing at. The girl looks up at Mikey and screams in fright.

He hisses back at her, growling loudly as his tail whips underneath him. The scales and scutes start to lift, the ridges on his shoulders and thighs raising high. His tail becomes a spiky bludgeon.

Let Instinct take over. Instinct will keep us safe.

Mikey can do it. Instinct Might hurt brothers.

Instinct is better. Stronger. Instinct is --

MIKEY CAN DO IT, he snaps back in his mind. His tail cracks like a whip again as he snarls angrily.

The human girl yipes and hides behind Red.

Mikey starts to creep along the ceiling, watching them. Making sure that the evil humans don't do anything to hurt Rat or brothers.

Red follows him around the room, raising his hands and guarding the girl.

"Mikey? Hey Mikey, come on down, bud..."

"How... how is he doing that?" the girl asks.

"Lizards can climb on walls," Blue mutters. "Remember we said he has lizard DNA now?"

"I can't believe... that's really Mikey?" the girl whimpers quietly, grabbing Blue's arm.

"It's him," Blue says. He sounds sad.

"Mikey, come down?" Red begs.

Mikey sneers at the girl.

"What? April? You remember April, right?"

Mikey snaps at her, baring his teeth. The canines are growing longer and longer.

"Mikey, she's your sister," Red enunciates.

Mikey's expression softens. Sister? Like brothers?

"Yeah, mi hermano, she's cool! It's big sis April!" Blue joins in, patting her on the head. "See? She's one of us!"

Mikey croaks at her, cocking his head in confusion.

Don't trust her. Don't trust them. Humans are evil. Humans did this to us. They hurt us, and kept us from brothers, and made us sad and scared. She will hurt you!

Red walks directly underneath Mikey and holds his arms out as far as he can. Mikey lowers himself into his embrace, dangling upside down from the ceiling for a moment before readjusting and wrapping his torso around Red's forearm, his spine twisting with flexibility that surprises his brother.

"Boa constrictor?" he asks, looking at Purple.

"I guess," Purple answers with a tired shrug.

Mikey keeps his eyes on the human girl. She cautiously starts stepping closer, holding a hand out to him.

"Mikey? It's me, April. Please say you remember me...?"

Her voice wavers. She sounds so sad.

Humans can be sad?

Humans only cause sad. How can this human be sad?

Her eyes become glassy and blur over. She sniffles. Her nose is red and her cheeks are rosy. She was crying. She was very sad. Why is she sad now?

Did Mikey make her sad??

Mikey mews at her. He feels bad now. Her fingers touch his beak. He takes in the scent on her hands... lotions, perfume, coco butter from her curls. Mikey doesn't remember her face, or her voice. But he remembers these scents. And they do smell safe. He loves these smells, though he can't remember why. His eyes water, the scents activating some distant and foggy recollection of a warm embrace and a soft hand against his head and the feeling you get when laughing too hard.

She might be human... but he loved her once. He can love her again.

Mikey purrs, closing his eyes and leaning his face into the touch. He hears her stifle a sob, stroking her hand across his forehead and down his cheek. Tears pool in his eyes and seep through. Soon enough, she's wiping the tears away.

The humans were never gentle like this in the other place. They never loved him. But she loves him.

He was loved once. He is loved again.

Prev || Next

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[manias-wordcount]

Please can I request dom Tae Takemi from Persona 5 with bondage and spanking?

Shut up and Take It (Tae Takemi x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼!

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!! 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁, 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗰𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘀, 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝗯𝗼𝘀𝘀-𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You honestly thought that by now, you would have learned how to shut up and take it like a good girl.

That’s what you thought a couple of weeks ago when you were first propositioned with this relationship. That’s what she told you that she expected from you. That’s what she told you that she needed from you. That, if this were to happen, you would need to learn to be a little quieter. You would need to learn how to take orders- her orders- a little better. That you would need to be a good girl. A really good girl. 

And a little less messy too. You can’t be holding up your boss by having to clean up her office every time she brings you back here in the middle of your shift. You’ll back up things for the both of you if that keeps happening. 

But it does. It does keep happening. You keep being a little too loud. You keep being a little too disobedient. And you keep being a little messy. And yet…

“What am I going to do with you…hm?”

You’re still hers.

You angle your head towards her, blinking up at her as tears well in the corner of your eyes. She hired you as a receptionist for her clinic just a couple months ago. You were just so thrilled that at the prospect of finally landing a job with decent pay and a boss that doesn’t hate you that you didn’t realize to what extent your boss didn’t hate you. It wasn’t until you found yourself lying on your back on the bed she has in the office with your legs up in the air and your skirt bunched up to your waist after closing time did it finally occurred to what all those looks she gave you meant. You were never the best with subtle signs. 

Luckily, having your boss rip your tights, pull your panties to the side, and lick at your slit until you’re squeezing your thighs around her head and cumming directly into her awaiting mouth is far from the subtlest of signs.

But it was that night- it was that encounter that led you to this moment. Bent over the desk with your skirt once bunched up around your waist. A familiar position- right down to the fact that she had busted out the handcuffs to keep you from squirming too much and had shoved your panties in your mouth to keep you from getting too loud. She only pulled you back here to have some fun in between her scheduled patients. That means, at any time someone could walk in. Someone could walk in and see that you’re missing from your usual desk where you would greet all the patients and get them signed in. Someone could come a little early for an appointment. Someone could step inside, hoping to be a walk-in.

And you’d be none the wiser. All because you were too busy trying to be your boss’ good, good girl.

“Mmm…you know how I get when you wear this skirt,” Dr. Takemi purrs from behind you. You couldn���t help but flinch as her cool palm set itself lightly against your backside. The flesh is sore and heated and tinted red- signs of the many spankings and slaps she had just delivered seconds prior. Still, you will yourself not do anything except let the little whine building in the back of your throat escape through. If you’re good, she’ll be a little nicer. She’ll let you clean up the mess dripping down your thighs and might even rub that healing ointment across your skin so it doesn’t hurt as much when you go to sit back at your desk. But that’s only if you’re good. “I let you get away with too much. Don’t I, sweetheart?”

And if she chooses to be nice to you.

As she finishes her sentence, you spot her hand rising up quickly. But the action happens so fast that you don’t even have time to brace yourself as another spank lands itself across your left cheek. You cry out, your sound barely muffled from the fabric shoved in your mouth, as you tense up in response. The cuffs secured around your wrists don’t allow you to get too far comfortable, and you’re stuck listening to them rattle as you helplessly turn your gaze back towards Dr. Takemi.

She’s no longer standing behind you, in full, proud view as she towers over your bent form in her heels. Instead, you could just barely see her as she dropped to her knees and narrowed her dark brown eyes at your body, watching intently as your hips swayed side to side, powerless against the pain. A second later, you feel a pair of lips press against where her hands had made contact with the sensitive, heated skin of your backside. Almost as if she was apologizing for her earlier actions.

Still, any contact, no matter how small, sets small jolts of pain and ache and surprising amounts of pleasure. It inspires conflicting feelings in you. It makes you dizzy and makes your legs shake. It makes you want to tug these stupid cuffs off and rush away from the feeling. But it also makes you determined to stay. Determined to show her that you can shut up and take it. That you could be her good girl. The good girl she always asks you to be. 

But at the moment, she doesn’t seem to care about whatever is going through your head as she presses more and more kisses against your skin- determined to get her fix. She only breaks away to occasionally slap and grab at your flesh once more, taking softly and seductively it jiggles directly in front of her face. You could only vaguely hear the words she murmured from about you from behind. Comments about how slutty you dressed today. Comments about how noisy you are for her. Comments about just how wet you are right now. 

Comments about how she has half a mind to clear her schedule and just take you properly on the bed. 

But you know she wouldn’t. You know you’re not lucky enough. You know she’s not dumb or uncaring enough to do that to all her afternoon patients. Still, a girl could dream. You could dream. You could dream about being taken off the clock just to spend the next couple of hours with your eyes rolled back in pleasure as your boss took care of everything. You could dream about the cuffs coming off and the lips trailing a little too close to your pussy finally taking the plunge and wrapping themselves around your clit. You could dream about this. You could dream about all this and more if you just had the chance. 

Or you could just shut up. You could shut up and take it like a good girl you’re supposed to be You could shut up and take it like the piece of ass your boss hired you to be. You could. You would. Or, at the very least, you could try your best. Because even when you’re a little too loud or disobedient or messy for her taste, you’re still hers. 

You’re all hers.

[delicatestones]

Rereading Worm for my purposes and the early sections are giving me unexpected emotions about, of all things, the dynamic between Brian and Alec.

They have such a quiet teen boy sort of back and forth, is the thing. Like, yes, Brian finds Alec profoundly annoying, Alec is being profoundly annoying on purpose - but one of our earliest examples of Alec laughing is when he trips Brian and Brian goes across the room to put him into a headlock and starts punching him in the shoulder.

Insinuation 2.9

With Brian gone and Lisa absorbed in trying to patch up Bitch’s ear, I was left with Alec.  To make conversation, I said, “Alec.  You were going to tell me what you do.  You go by Regent, right?” “The name is a long story, but what I do is this.”  He looked over his shoulder at Brian, who was returning from the washroom with a damp washcloth in hand.  Brian, mid-stride, stumbled and fell onto the floor. “Way to look good in front of the new girl, gimpy!” Alec mocked his teammate, laughing. Grateful for the break in the tension, I couldn’t help but laugh too.  While Alec continued laughing, Brian got to his feet and ran up to the smaller boy, at which point he got Alec in a headlock and began punching him in the shoulder repeatedly.  This abuse only made Alec laugh harder in between his cries of pain.

I mean, there's the casual ableism and Alec being a little shit at an inappropriate time, but it's also notable to me that Brian, the stiffest man-teen in the world, is still roughhousing with Alec instead of actually being angry. It's also a lot that Alec, given what we know about his relationship to touch, likes this. Getting a headlock from Brian probably feels the closest to a hug Alec gets, well. Ever.

Then there's the sparring moment before Taylor gets her first bout with Brian, where Alec wears basketball shorts (???), gets bored, and fucks off to play video games - but Brian still cares enough about Alec to want to teach him. He cares about Alec to the extent he goes 'easy on him' (read: just teaches him like you should teach people to fight), which Alec takes as a slight (slightly sarcastically, because it's Alec), but we learn not too long after that Brian's father's method of teaching him how to fight was basically just short of actively kicking the shit out of him. But Brian doesn't do that to Alec, or to Taylor.

Then later on, in Shell 4.4, Brian gets Taylor that dragonfly in amber for her room in the loft (Brian!! down bad for the bug girl), Taylor hugs him, and we get:

“Hey!” a voice from behind me startled the wits out of me, “No romance in the workplace!” I turned around to see Alec and Lisa standing in the hallway, grinning.  In Lisa’s case, grinning more than usual. I must have turned beet red.  “It’s not, no, I was just thanking him for-” “I know, dork.  I was with him when he bought it.”

And I'm entranced by the concept of Alec and Brian on their separate side shopping trip while Lisa and Taylor were having that Very Straight Shopping Date. Brian contemplating a giant Declaration of Paying Attention To The New Girl in this big open air marketplace while Alec stood there in his new Kid Win shirt laughing like a little cartoon hyena.

It just makes me rotate things in my brain at high speed about both of them.

(This is also good foreshadowing for what Aisha is going to be like when she comes onscreen because you can feel the Exhausted Big Brother rolling off Brian in waves.)

[mydearsteven]

a Diamond from space in a school

promt: Steven doesn’t know what a school is and decided that he wanted to come with you on what you’re doing.

featuring: Diamond!Steven x Reader

you were only doing your homeworks on homeworld, it was a quiet night. But what you didn’t realize is that tomorrow is school day. You see you would often spend time at homeworld thanks to the technology of warp pad but tomorrow you have to go to school, and not having any clothes on homeworld did not make it better. You would eventually try to ask Steven to go back to earth tonight because you have school.

“Steven, can you teleport me back to earth? i have school tomorrow.” he stared at you confused. What on stars is a ‘school’? it felt weird on his mouth. Steven would ask you what a school is and would explain it to him.

“so.. ‘school’ is a place where you learn and make friends?” you nod at him. “hm, interesting. I want to go to school with you.” your eyes stared at him in shock, he only rises a brow wondering why you react in such way.

“is there a problem, __?” his head tilted to the right while his face remain calm. You don’t know how to tell him that you need to sign up first before entering a school, you eventually told him that he needs to sign up next year if he wanted.

Steven scoffs and look at you in the eyes. “i do what i want. That is my planet after all, if they dare to deny me i could just destroy the head of that place.” he frowns and crosses his hands, you could only sighs and hope for the best.

‘

it is now monday, and you are waking up from the sound of your alarm going off. ‘6:00… better start preparing stuff i guess..’ you thought, getting off from the bed you shook your boyfriend who was still sleeping.

“Steven, wake up. We need to get ready for school.” he groans and ignored you who eventually wake up because of your constant shaking. “do you always wake up this early?” he inquired while rubbing his head, you chuckled and say yes. “stars.. i couldn’t imagine my life living like this.”

you made breakfast for the both of you while he took a shower, once he was done though he shouted your name so that you could take a bath too. You reached up to your room only to find him using the diamond clothing from homeworld. “no! you’re absolutely not wearing that.” searching through your wardrobe, he was groaning once again. “why? this is like my everyday clothes.” you found his pink jacket and a black shirt with a diamond authority like shape but only pink on it, you threw those at him.

“you’re going to wear that, trust me its so much better.” trusting your words, he wore it and he thought it was really comfortable than his diamond clothes. You blushed a little, he look even better with normal human clothing. It suit him.

finally after taking a shower, the two of you ate your breakfast and went to school.

ofcourse being a half gem has it perks, one of it being able to leap and landed safely. That’s what exactly Steven does, he carries you and he told you to hold on tight, suddenly leaps up on the air. Squeezing your eyes shut you finally realizes that you’re already on the school ground, everyone was staring at the two of you; wondering how in the world did you two get from up there and landed safely.

you weren’t exactly that popular but not that nerdy either, though you have some bullies going around you but not to THAT extent. “why’s everyone looking at us? i thought that was normal.” you glared at him. “yes, normal to us but not these people, Steven.” he only shrugged before finally the two of you reached the principal office.

you knock on the door once and there was a voice. “come in!” twistinh the door knob, you saw the principal there with a stern look on his face. “what is it do you need? and who… is this?” he looks at Steven, noticing his pink diamond shaped eyes. Steven only look at him calmly with his hands inside the pocket.

“what?” he inquired, the principal suddenly smiles. “__! what do you need?” completely ignoring Steven’s question. You asked him if your boyfriend could be here for one day, the principal ofcourse declined this idea.

“what? are you dumb or something? he HAVE to sign up first! which is going to be in a few month. And he also needs some..” he make some ‘money’ looking gestures on his hands, you could only sigh at this.

you were about to put the money on the table before finally Steven’s hand get the money away from you. “Steven?! what was that for?” you shouted at him, he only glares at the principal with an intense glare. The principal only gulps at the sudden change of atmosphere inside and outside the room.

“you will let me in. Or else.. i might need to give some punishment to you for not following my orders.” he said in a threatening tone, save to say the moment you guys went out of that room; the room was almost destroyed.

“okay, now! lets go to this.. ‘glass’ of yours.” you gave him a deadpanned look. “its class, Steven. Not glass.” he shrugged. “same thing.”

‘

walking inside class, the whole class suddenly shuts up and look at the boy who was behind you, who is obviously Steven. You can’t deny, he does look attractive in that clothing. Well proud to say that he’s yours, and you knew that Steven wouldn’t leave you for any of the girls who even dare to laid eyes on him.

the teacher immediately tell you to go to your seat, when you wanted to go though you felt hands on your wrist. Steven is nervous, he has sweats on his forehead. Not because he’s scared, he just don’t know what to do.

“hey, Steve. Its alright i’ll be right there okay? just tell them your name and that’s it.” you tried to reassure him and slips your hands away from his grasp, leaving him alone.

Steven look at the students who was infront of him, he was mostly focused on you though. “uhm, my name is Steven Diamond Universe. That’s it.” the class was stunned on how his voice sounds like silk.

the class was quiet for a moment before someone raised their hand. “Steven, is that your real eye color?” everyone inside the class immediately look at his eyes, most if them finding it pretty to have that amazing shade of pink. But they’re even more suprised when he said that its his real eye color.

another student raises their hand. “oo, Steven! were you that person who was carrying __ that came from the sky this morning?!” Steven answers calmly. “yes.” with that one answer only, the whole class suddenly became a fuss.

“ooh!! Steven! can you do that to me too?!-“ “no! i was first to ask!” “cut it out you all, he clearly choose me!” you were uncomfortable because well, he is your boyfriend and all of these people just met him. But by the looks of it, Steven looks pretty chill about it. You knew that he would never carry them since he ‘doesn’t want to get his hands on organic things’ even though he is half organic and you’re an organic.

the teacher cut us all out and asked Steven where he wanted to seat. “Cut it out class!! anyway.. ehem, Steven. Do you know who you want to share a seat with?” Almost all of the class immediately left a spot for Steven to seat, since you don’t really have a seatmate you’re just there.

Steven look over the whole class before smirking at you, walking towards where you’re sitting the people he passes by cursed under their breath.

“hey there lovely, sitting here by yourself?” he took a seat beside you, while you just nudged his elbow slightly. “pftt don’t do that again.” you blushed by how he calls you ‘lovely’.

after the first period was finish, it is time for lunch. And by what i mean is you have to deal with his complaints about the food. “ew.. gross. Is this what they gave you at school? you know what, i should sent Pearl to give us a PROPER meal.”

and he really did did that. His spaceship was coming and all of the students and teachers inside was walking out of the building to see what was going on. Only to see you standing by Steven’s side while Pearl was giving him his lunch.

“okay Pearl, you can go back to homeworld now.” you’re pretty anxious on the way everyone was staring at you. “ofcourse, my diamond. I hope you have a nice visit here on earth.” Steven only nods before Pearl took off to homeworld.

once you turn your backs around, you saw how everyone was staring at the two of you. Steven saw how uncomfortable you are and decided he would just takes you to your house, it would be better that way rather than just staying here doing nothing he thought.

after you went home you dropped yourself on the bed. “holy hell that was so awkward.” he chuckled and starts to cuddle you. “awww are you tired?” teasing him only results in a light smack on your head. “shut up. And go to sleep, i want to enjoy this moment before back to working again tomorrow..” once he finished those sentence you heard a light snore coming from him. You laughed a little before pecking his forehead and start to drift off to a deep slumber.

a/n: holy sharts this is long. what the hell

[zeroseuniverse]

could you write some platonic!ateez x reader i neeeed more of them!! maybe something where reader is an idol too and has a panic/anxiety attack and they (or some of them) help reader?🤷🏼‍♀️

We're Here

Pairing: Platonic Ateez x fem reader Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, protective Wooyoung, and bad members of reader's group Word Count: 696 Summary: In which after making a mistake at the biggest performance of the year she's riddled with anxiety. A/N: I’d like everyone to remember anxiety and panic attacks can be different depending on who has them, yes some are similar but all are different

This was bad, like really bad. She could practically feel the glares from her members and management. One mis-step was all it took to almost cost her everything, at the biggest performance of the year as well.

The gasps rang through the crowd as she caught herself from falling and instead threw in her own move to keep the choreography going with no obvious mistakes. Her breath started catching after that, making the performance harder to complete, but she knew she couldn’t stop it would make it all worse, so with watery eyes she continued, even as everyone watched her turn red in the face with the lack of air. As soon as the performance finished and the lights turned off, the only thing she could hear was the thumping of her rapid heartbeat and footsteps racing towards her, her eyes closing in an attempt to calm herself.

When she was hoisted in the air she knew it wasn’t her members or her manager since none of them had the strength to pick her up in a bridal style hold. And when she opened her eyes she was in the Ateez dressing room, though only five members seemed to be in front of her, the other three could be heard arguing with someone down the hall. 

“Hey sweetness, how’re ya doin’” Mingi cooed, taking a soft approach to the attack that had calmed down a bit with distance from the situation but still lingered. 

Of course she couldn’t speak, it was a constant anytime she had an attack, speech just was not on her side. So she signed that she was okay to Yunho who had taken the time to learn sign language after he realized the extent of her panic attacks.

San took the moment to cuddle up to her side, the contact making her feel grounded and though her mind still felt hazy she could also make out Mingi rubbing her head gently, and Jongho humming a small tune while Yeosang stood a bit further not knowing exactly how to help but making sure nobody pushed any bounds to make her uncomfortable.

“You’re so selfish!” She heard her other members scream through the door, they had thought she just wanted attention by standing out, not realizing that if she hadn’t done that she could’ve ruined the whole performance. Her attention was stripped away from the screaming women as Mingi pressed their foreheads together, to signify his support for her.

She didn’t even hear Wooyoung cursing out her other members or Seonghwa trying to reel his gremlin back to his side, or even Hongjoong trying to stop Seonghwa from stopping Wooyoung. She did however notice the three entering the room shortly after, security following them to make sure they didn’t cause another ruckus. 

“Those litt-” Wooyoung grumbled with a glare until Seonghwa nudged him to shut up.

“Oh honey,” The three cooed, rushing to push the others away and take their places, well Wooyoung and Seonghwa did, Hongjoong was busy pulling up his phone to complain to the company about the group's treatment of her. 

“We’re here, We’re always here. You did so well.” Seonghwa assured, running his index finger along her nose, his own signal, they all had one. After years of friendship with the boys she had come to notice that whenever they wanted to comfort her first there would be a cuddle pile, then it would be the individual reassurances that she wouldn’t be facing anything alone, Mingi had touching foreheads, Yunho had linking pinkies, Hongjoong would kiss the tip of his finger and place them to the tip of her finger, Seonghwa would run his index finger down her nose, Jongho would rub the space behind her ear with his thumb, Yeosang would tug on her hair gently, Wooyoung would run a finger along her spine, and San would pull her head under his chin. And as she felt the sensations one by one her heart rate slowed, and her breaths steadied. Her dazed brain cleared up and she now sleepily looked up at the men of her life with the sweetest smile, though weak, it did give them the reassurance that she was getting better.