#to the character‚ tragedy too (the completely unexpected way she says the line 'You mean all this time we could have been friends?' is

[mariocki]

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

"Jane, did you ever stop to think that... if anything happened to me, I mean anything bad, there wouldn't be any money for you? I wouldn't be here to sign the checks. You wouldn't even have pocket money. Did you ever think of that?"

"Yeah, I've thought about that."

[woo-do-hwan]

The June Review

Dramas & Films I watched in June

The Romance of Tiger and Rose (2020) [9.5 out of 10]

I finally watched this so I could stop avoiding spoilers and tbh it did not disappoint. I finished this in about 2 days and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself now. I might have to start calling Lu Si the comedy queen because of the one heck of the performance she put on. I also loved the chemistry between the leads and by ep 10, it was so obvious the male lead was so in love with her, my heart just burst for them. The couple also reminded me of Donghua & Fengjiu in some instances bc Han Shuo is whipped for his woman just like Donghua is. Anyway... I might have to go rewatch this bc I feel empty inside now. 

My Dear Lady (2020) [6.5 out of 10]

I watched this curiously because of the summary but it seems most of the plot happened towards the end of the drama and by the end it felt rushed. I also got bored often watching most of this but the acting was still good. 

Kore Wa Keihi de Ochimasen! (2019) [8.5 out of 10]

I do truly enjoy watching some jdramas bc they’re just 10 episodes with no exaggerated or lengthy plot line and this was exactly it. It also had the subtle romance plot which doesn’t take the majority of the 10 eps which I quite enjoyed. And pretty much each ep came with a different story which I also loved with odd exception of the romance plot and the two last episodes. 

Kleun Cheewit (2017) [7.5 out of 10]

This isn’t my first lakorn and it certainly won’t be my last either. The chemistry between the two leads were amazing. I’m not sure what else to say... felt like they dragged out some parts and some things were a little so-so but good drama. 

Mystic Pop Up Bar (2020) [9.0 out of 10]

This is probably one of the best dramas I’ve watched this year, at first I wasn’t planning on watching it but I decided to give it a try and little did I know, I was going to be hooked two episodes in. I did mostly watch it for the back story (with the young actors) and I hope when they’re older they might consider doing another drama together. But I’m a sucker for tragedy & angst which I also try to avoid most of the time going into dramas (this is a very odd combo). The plot was great. A great drama, and I notice this also applies to books, when the audience guesses and already knows of the plot twists before they are revealed. It’s quite satisfying when all the pieces fall into place and that is exactly what happened. Mystic Pop Up Bar also kept it light-hearted bc you needed the humour after watching some of the angsty scenes, phew. 

Someday or One Day (2019) [8.5 out of 10]

I guess you could say this is a murder mystery for most of the episodes. The twist and turns are quite unexpected and I quite enjoyed watching. Greg Hsu could have my heart any day of the week. (this list is getting longer and longer with each passing day)

Want More 19 (2018) [7.0 out of 10]

A short web drama. I mean... the main reason I was here was for Day6′s OST ‘Chocolate’ It’s a great song. Also an amazing band. Again, it’s just a breather in between long-winded dramas. 

The Legend of White Snake (2019) [7.0 out of 10]

I know I said below another drama review that I had changed my ways and don’t skip through things now. Well... I skipped through this one mainly because I got fed up and bored, this consistently lasted through a whole chunk of eps. So I kind of skipped to the end... I didn’t miss much if I’m being honest and I wasn’t a fan of the ending. 

Tokyo Tarareba Musume (2017) [8.5 out of 10]

I went through a phase of watching dramas but regretted not paying enough attention to them the first time I watched them, either by skipping through the episode or just missing out episodes in general. Now that I’ve changed my ways and want to fully appreciate dramas, no matter how good or bad, I decided to rewatch this. There’s nothing better than watching Sakaguchi Kentaro be an angsty af man. Anyway, I enjoyed this very much. Jdramas have a lovely charm about them by not being too long and don’t drag out the storyline either. 

Good Casting (2020) [8.0 out of 10]

A better title for this show would be Chan Mi and her sidekicks... I wasn’t really a big fan of her character. She was literally everywhere & I think that’s where the plot falls... maybe I would have liked it more if we actually had a chance at seeing more of the other main characters. I think I was trying so hard to find a reason to like it but there wasn’t much to like about it. The premise of it sounded so appealing but again, it was just another drama that fell short. 

When My Love Blooms (2020) [7.5 out of 10]

Let’s be real here... I was watching this for Park Jinyoung & Jeon So Nee, I don’t know about you all. Honestly... I felt like Jinyoung & Jeon So Nee’s storyline would have worked well in a standalone drama. That would be quite interesting to see. Anyway, great chemistry between those two as well. I can’t say much for the present day storyline, easiest way to put it, I didn’t like it. But I suppose it’s what I get for a melodrama with the added extra drama tag. (Note to self, stop watching melodramas) 

My Woofy Poofy Love (2018) [8.0 out of 10]

It’s quite refreshing to watch short web dramas like this in between heavy dramas. You are angst free while watching fluffy web dramas. This was pure sweetness and very uplifting to watch, especially because I’ve been watching some heavy dramas recently. 

Where Your Eyes Linger (2020) [10 out of 10] (BL)

I’ve never given out a 10 before, they’re rare, extremely rare. Perfect actors, perfect length of episodes, perfect storyline. I loved it. I loved the way it reeled you in the first couple of episodes, with the fluff and the humour, then it eased you in and gave you a taste of the angst to come before completely ripping your heart out. And they gave us a kiss! A KISS! It was one of the softest kisses ever. PLEASE GIVE US SEASON 2... Ahem. At the moment, it is one of the best dramas I have seen this year. (I’m going to have to compile a list at the end of year of the best dramas, aren’t I? There’s bound to be more than one, Mystic Pop Up Bar is heading for a Best Drama crown this year too) Anyway. Go watch it, it’s worth it. 

The King: Eternal Monarch (2020) [7.5 out of 10]

Okay, if you follow me, you’ll know I was watching this for Woo Do Hwan and also Kim Kyung Name (you might have not known that one) and the queen Kim Go Eun. I mean it’s definitely not the best drama I’ve seen all year, it’s only June, there’s plenty of time for another drama to come out and impress everyone. But with this one... there was nothing really keeping me there except those three. My interest did peak around the middle episodes but died down quickly after. I wasn’t in love with Kim Go Eun/Lee Min Ho pairing but that’s just me, certain episodes they clicked with me and others they didn’t. I wanted more out of that final ep but I don’t at the same time. I wanted to see more of everyone’s life instead of the brief snippets we got, not to be biased but I wanted more to see more of Jo Yeong. I guess you take what you can get... we were teased with so much, the excellent cast, the hype for it and having a well known writer behind it but having watched it, it was a big let down, for me at least. 

Born Again (2020) [7.0 out of 10]

For an overall mystery/crime/fantasy/melodrama drama (If we can call it that) it wasn’t that bad... if we exclude the horror of the romance plot. The writer glorified what Jang Ki Yong’s characters did and that was not okay, he clearly needed help. Main Female lead ended up with the wrong guy. Lee Soo Hyuk deserves better. The stylist and him need a raise for his outfits during the later episodes when his past self takes over his current body because hot damn he was pulling that off better than any other character I’ve seen in a suit. 

My Holo Love (2020) [8.0 out of 10]

I loved the beginning of the drama but my interest died down after the plot was revealed (an evil man wanting the AI)... but I did however love the last scene of the series, that was a nice way to end it. 

Novoland: The Castle In the Sky (2016) [7.5 out of 10]

I just struggled to get into the storyline, I’m not sure whether to go back and watch the “happy ending” (ep 29) because I was fine with how they ended things. 

Maybe, Maybe Not (2019) [8.0 out of 10]

This a web drama, sweet and short ^.^

Long Time No See (2017) (BL) [8.5 out of 10]

This is just a short little drama, I loved the chemistry between the leads and it was very action packed for the few episodes it had. 

Snow Flower (2019) [Movie] [7.0 out of 10]

There is just something about Japanese movies... and sometimes dramas. It’s hard to explain, where they can be the most melancholic and beautifully filmed thing. It’s the odd feeling I get when I’m drinking coffee and it’s raining outside and I’m just overwhelmed and feeling nostalgic. Have you ever watched a film where you thought it was good, not extremely good, just good and not really have any qualms with it. This was the movie. Setting itself to be a sad movie with it’s summary surrounding terminal illness, but it’s hardly reflected upon. It focuses more on the romantic side of things which I didn’t mind. If you’ve got 2 hours to kill then it might be worth the watch.

Secretly, Greatly (2013) [Movie] [8.0 out of 10]

Worth a watch. It’s a good spy action movie with the comedy elements added into it as well. 

[illusionlockarchive]

romeos huge rant on comedy, horror, and how they interlap

ok, so. full disclosure, what got me to make this post was this joke post right here.

so the initial premise is funny, haha okay. yeah. oh youre a kid and your punishment at school is that you have to stay at a room full of wasps. its funny because its absurd. it couldnt happen irl. youd think it wouldnt happen irl. youd hope so.

the thing about comedy and horror though? is that they actually operate on very similar concepts.

and that is, the absurd. the uncanny valley. what youre expecting the least. what youre not seeing and not registering. jumpscares are effective if at least to get you to jump, even if they are cheap. meanwhile, jokes where they completely twist your expectations to get you to laugh do the same thing.

it may be hard for you to believe me, but in the end, the bad ending of tattletail is the other side of the same coin as a joke that goes “i swallowed a tablet with some water. everyone on the apple store was terrified of me.”

i have not read the wasp story, but i can guaranteee you, i CAN imagine it being scary, if the right tones are used and suspense is built up nicely. with the right twists and turns, knowing when to keep things quiet and when to blow things out of proportion.

OR it can end up being unintentionally hilarious, if the characters in it are way too cliche to be real and feel more like caricatures of teachers and students, if things are rushed and details lose their meaning and value, if we are just to focus on being an audience watching a kid get chased around by a swarm of wasps, instead of putting ourselves in their place.

im neglecting to mention something though. horror is not the TRUE other side of the coin to comedy. no, thats tragedy. and im sure many more people have heard of that. the two masks used in theater, one happy, the other sad.

and now we come to two very interesting modifiers. im sure youve heard of the term ‘horror comedy’ to refer to a subgenre of horror that does have jokes and silly things still happening, and may not take itself all that seriously. but why is it a specified subgenre? because MOST horror is tragedy.

this is why, despite liking many horror games or even stories, in the end i still dont consider myself someone who actually likes horror as a general genre. most horror focuses on the seriousness of the faults of humans, on our fragility, on all we can lose or are even bound to lose, on the fear that what we feel so confident about having close to us can be snatched away in a second, that our sense of reality can crumble. most horror? doesnt end well.

comedies in general tend to focus on the absurdity of life, on how many silly, strange, or even uncanny situations can happen that can challenge us, but not in a harsh way, but in a way that, despite so many bad things happening, we still get to point and laugh it off and be okay at the end of the day.

literally, all it takes for a tragedy to become a comedy, and vice versa, is a tonal shift. when i told of my idea to create this post to my boyfriend, he backed me up, and told me “the difference between horror and comedy is in the soundtrack and silly sound effects”. hes right.

of course, there are things that you should have the decency to not laugh at, still. to keep your mouth shut and know when to reject. but good comedy knows how to stray away from that, and good tragedy knows how to handle it respectfully without making it torture porn.

so, as horror hinges on tragedy, on the fear that we all know we must face in our lives, because a scream is as natural as laughter, so horror comedies are born as an interesting paradox.

a year or so ago, i got the opportunity to watch the banana splits syfy movie. i was a huge fan of the banana splits as a kid, and would often watch their reruns. those silly furries meant a lot to me. but im not stupid, i know thats a horror movie, i went in kinda knowing what to expect.

it was a gore fest, and for about two or three nights i had trouble getting to sleep. i wasnt actually scared of my childhood friends in animal costumes, as i knew how absurd and irrational my fear was, but just the images of the massacre being fresh in my mind were enough to send me into a panic if i lingered for too long, which can happen, you know, when youre about to sleep.

(TW FOR DESCRIPTION OF A MANS DEATH AND GORE, IF YOURE SQUEAMISH JUMP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH)

i think a scene that perfectly blurs the lines between comedy and tragedy, as well as just plain horror in it, is the scene where a man gets killed by being put in a magicians box and sliced in half as a ‘magic trick’ by fleegle, the dog. as he pleads for his life, and his soon to be wife watches in horror and pleads for the robot dog to stop (yeah theyre robots in this, weird), fleegle continues to slice him in half and blood spurts out, until he is dead, and fleegle just happily and proudly showcases what he has done, as if he just did a real magic trick.

(END TW FOR DEATH AND GORE DESCRIPTION)

watching that was horrifying, of course it was. but at the same time, it was what i wanted and expected when i thought about “banana splits horror movie”. fleegle just did something completely absurd and entirely uncalled for. and what doubles the uncaniness of it is that it was supposed to be something harmless, a magic trick. think about this if it was in an adult swim cartoon. the same thing could still happen, but be treated as just a weird, gross joke. fleegle could even swear, say ‘heres your fucking magic trick damnit! oh you dont like it, well i quit!’ n then throw his hat on the ground and step on it.

they are essentially the same scene, but the cartoon version of it is presented in a way that shows full on just how absurd and unexpected it is, without any seriousness to it, probably without any moody music to accompany it. meanwhile the movie one focuses on the fear, grief, and horror of putting us in the shoes of a woman who just watched the man she loved be killed, with the shots being extra impactful.

in the end, the banana splits syfy movie is a horror comedy though, because most of the movie is spent finding the most creative, absurd, borderline funny ways for people to be killed off. as you watch it along, you dont know whether to laugh at the weirdness and absurdity of the events or to genuinely feel grief and fear over the bodies piling up.

i could also just go over a million other examples available to me right now. in fact, as of the time im writing this, i have the latest vinesauce corruption stream pulled on youtube. during corruptions, the most bizarre and absurd things happen, and often times, things get scary. we see the video game characters we love be deformed and twisted in ways that you can only imagine hurt, but they still act as if thats normal! so you cant help but laugh.

earlier today, i watched a gameplay video of bonbon. its a short horror game, with a very... different antagonist. i wont spoil much, because, i dont want to deter people from buying it. but i will say, there is a reveal at the end, which slaps you in the face with the realization that you have been played for a fool all along, and the developers would probably laughing at you if they saw you after youve beat the game. its a joke, and the fear that they cultivated so lovingly, is the punchline. your fear becomes a punchline. to me thats one of the highest forms of blurring horror and comedy, and one i prefer to some more gory and harsh attempts.

and i mean, i have to mention fnaf here, dont i? its a great example too, particularly because, if you look at the games by themselves, they generally take themselves pretty seriously as horror stories, minus a few odd cases or references. but they just have enough wiggle room that, if you look at them from afar, as an audience, you can take these characters youre supposed to be afraid of, and have fun with them, because it is pretty damn absurd, and even funny at the end of the day, that youre expected to be afraid of essentially big, robotic childrens toys. and thats when many fun, fan renditions that focus on lighthearted situations pop up. vanny herself is pretty funny even! the idea of a person who dresses up in a full fursuit to do crimes is pretty hilarious.

all in all, i think i just really appreciate how horror and comedy can converse with each other and how that says something about how we, as humans, are easily made impressed, made to be surprised and shocked, to jump or to laugh. and we are always looking for that thrill, it just depends on if youre looking for laughs or screams.

so yeah, maybe ‘wasp room’ can be a pretty good story. is it a horror story or a comedy? we wont know until we read it. (also if you made it to the end reading this holy shit i love you , i fully recognize i talked way too much)

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Hey I was just wondering on your interpretation of Jonerys in the books? Because according to the bad leaks we will get Jon killing Dany, but in the book version its pretty clear that these two will marry and I don't necessarily see how those two things jive with each other, unless we get a literal repeat of the Azor Ahai/Nissa Nissa bs with them🤷🏼‍♀️ Thoughts? Because I have given up hope for the show and need some reassurance on the books after reading all of them plus the history books,,

Look, anon. Even in the fucking show these two have been paralleled to death - in a way that inextricably links their lives together, as seen here and here and here. When you learn that when Ian McElhinney (Barristan Selmy) confronted D&D about how he thought it was too early to kill off his character, it made them want to kill him more, out of spite… it makes it pretty clear what D&D are doing.

In their effort to adhere to shock and subversion… they’ve left mounds of unused foreshadowing all over the place (I’m still working on a master post of unused foreshadowing and plot elements). As you might’ve guessed, Jonerys foreshadowing is among those casualties - such as Dany mentioning she may have to enter in a political marriage at the end of season 6 before setting sail for Westeros, or the four different instances that challenge Dany’s belief that she can’t have children, that her family hasn’t seen its end, and that Longclaw will go to Jon’s children after him. As of right now, none of the leaks indicate that any of this meant anything other than dialogue filler. If it was never intended to amount to anything, then the writers should not have included these lines at all, especially in a show that was cut down from ten episodes to seven. Way, way too much emphasis was put on challenging the notion Daenerys can’t have children. It’s what a good writer might call ‘trimming the fat’ from the story, otherwise, it does nothing but muddy up the story unnecessarily.

Jonerys aside, D&D have killed so much foreshadowing in the series just to make a shocking ending (which by the way, makes no sense at all). I was flabbergasted when I read this quote from 2013:

When I asked Benioff and Weiss if it was possible to infer any overall intentionality to the upcoming 10 episodes, they sneered. “Themes are for eighth-grade book reports,” Benioff told me.

Uh, what?

As you may have seen, I already recently covered why Jon shouldn’t care so much about the incest aspect - in the comments I received, there was a great point about how Jon has borderline romantic feelings toward his cousin Arya (who he believes is his half-sister), tending to think of her when he wonders what his love interest’s (Ygritte) body looks like under all those clothes. In the original outline for the series, Jon and Arya were supposed to end up together or at least be involved in a love triangle with Tyrion.

As you see, in the books, Daenerys has already been groomed for the reality of being wedded to her brother, so her nephew won’t be some grand depature from this. She’s a dragonrider, and if the shows are to be believed, Jon will be, too - and if the majority of fans are to be believed, then there might be something magical about Targaryen blood that makes them different or unique or magical, hence the incest.

When you look at just how finely crafted this book series by GRRM is… it makes it really hard to believe that he’d throw out all of his foreshadowing for shock value.

“It’s easy to do things that are shocking or unexpected, but they have to grow out of characters. They have to grow out of situations. Otherwise, it’s just being shocking for being shocking.”—George R. R. Martin

I think we can all agree that season eight of Game of Thrones is all about futility, shock, nihilism. So, check out this quote:

Q: Early on, one critic described the TV series as bleak and embodying a nihilistic worldview, another bemoaned its “lack of moral signposts.” Have you ever worried that there’s some validity to that criticism?

A: No. That particular criticism is completely invalid. Actually, I think it’s moronic. My worldview is anything but nihilistic.—George R. R. Martin

It was George who said we’d get a bittersweet ending, not D&D. It was George who said he wanted a LotR-style ending, not D&D.

While there are many conflicting quotes out there about GRRM’s ending vs. D&D’s… This recent article published right after episode 3 had some interesting lines:

“Of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. It can also be… traumatic. Because sometimes their creative vision and your creative vision don’t match, and you get the famous creative differences thing — that leads to a lot of conflict.”—George R. R. Martin

My interpretation currently is that yes, Jonerys is real in the books…

(just as it was in the fucking show until they decided to abandon all preestablished groundwork and foundation) …and has been thoroughly foreshadowed - and not in a tragic way.

First of all, the series is called ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ - while this stands for many things from literal to metaphorical, I’d say it absolutely encompasses Jon and Dany. I have some very unpopular ideas that ice actually represents Daenerys and fire, Jon. Whether or not I’m right about that, we have some hints that Jon will ultimately accept his Targaryen identity…

Subtle clue about who he is, in one of his true house’s colors:

“The next time I see you, you’ll be all in black.”Jon forced himself to smile back. “It was always my color.”

He idolizes historical Targaryens:

“Daeren Targaryen was only fourteen when he conquered Dorne,” Jon said. The Young Dragon was one of his heroes.

He’d pretend to be Targaryens while playing as a child:

“I’m Prince Aemon the Dragonknight,” Jon would call out.

For Daenerys, we get this curious line:

“Mother of dragons, bride of fire…”

Bride could also be metaphorical in some way, sure, but let’s just say it’s literal. Jon is the dragon, the fire.

Okay, so for the books, I’ll try to hit the bullet points:

First and foremost, the pair are incredibly similar, both stepping into positions of rule after immersing themselves into a foreign culture, adapting to their way of life before making allies. Both Jon and Daenerys make grave mistakes while wielding power, and they learn from their mistakes. They’re being shaped into rulers.

Both fall in love, yet still feel alone:

“Her captain slept beside her, yet she was alone.” / "Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone.“

Daenerys dreams of her lover:

“It was never Jorah Mormont she dreamed of; her lover was always younger and more comely, though his face remained a shifting shadow.”

Jon is described as a shadow:

“A shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain.” / “He would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows”

Daenerys also dreams of life as a wife and mother:

“In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door.”

Both dream of children they will never have:

“I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms.” / "I will never have a little girl.“

From Jon’s first chapter, there are hints that Benjen knows his identity and that family might someday be important to Jon:

"You don’t know what you’re asking, Jon. The Night’s Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor. You are a boy of fourteen, not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand what you would be giving up.”

“I don’t care about that!” Jon said hotly.

“You might, if you knew what it meant,” Benjen said. “If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son.”

We have those quotes from Maester Aemon, that hint that Jon might choose love or a child over duty:

“What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms … or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

While yes, Aemon hints that it is both glory and tragedy, we’re coming off a long, long line of tragic Targaryen love stories - the difference here being that one of these Targaryens is out to break the wheel that destroyed so many of these star-crossed, doomed Targaryens loves (Rhaegar/Lyanna, Duncan/Jenny, Daemon/Daenerys, Aemon/Naerys, etc).

Blue roses are linked to Lyanna Stark or even House Stark in general. In a vision, Daenerys sees:

“A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness.”

Meanwhile, there is foreshadowing that Dany will help Jon’s effort against the white walkers with lines like these:

“He might as well wish for another thousand men, and maybe a dragon or three.”

Daenerys, herself, has a weird moment with some ants while she wakes in the Dothraki Sea, brushing them off of her body as they swarm over a wall:

“To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.”

Around the same time, Jon is killed, whispering to his wolf:

“Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. He gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…

Meanwhile, after ‘opening her third eye’ with some berries, Daenerys hears the call of a wolf all the way over in Essos:

“Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely.”

We can extrapolate that this is, in fact, Ghost… as first, there don’t seem to be wolves in the Dothraki Sea, but also this line from Bran also provides context:

“Here in the chill damp darkness of the tomb his third eye had finally opened. He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon.”

Now that we know Jon’s true name (at least according to the show), this curious line from Daenerys also hints she might marry Jon:

“A crown should not sit easy on the head. One of her royal forebears had said that, once. Some Aegon, but which one? Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.”

Meanwhile, Jon is infatuated with Val, a woman who sounds an awful lot like a precursor to Daenerys, who is a warrior woman with silver-pale hair… Jon is also reminded of Val’s hips and breasts and that she’s 'well made for whelping children’…

“The light of the half-moon turned Vals honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. The air tastes sweet.”

“Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her.”

“A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”

As for GRRM, he told a helpful clue to director Alan Taylor circa season one of Game of Thrones:

“Anyways, he alluded to the fact that Jon and Dany were the point, kind of. That, at the time, there was a huge, vast array of characters, and Jon was a lowly, you know, bastard son. So it wasn’t clear to us at the time, but he did sort of say things that made it clear that the meeting and the convergence of Jon and Dany were sort of the point of the series. So, I was happy that a big step forward was taken in the episode I got to do this season is where he has fallen for her both, you know, emotionally and politically I think.”

But that’s not all. I did write a meta about the mother goddess Danu and her parallels with Dany - and this, to me, rings much more true to who Daenerys is in the books rather than whatever impostor is parading around in Dany’s skin on screen in season eight.

There is a lot of proof that GRRM puts a LOT of thought and detail into his books - even down to the Starks ‘howling’ and ‘growling’ and the Lannisters ‘roaring’. I’ve uncovered a cool trend where many of the names he assigns to characters reflect their numerological gemstone house colors - and the names he chooses all shed some light on the characters they are given to, such as Bran meaning ‘raven’ or Sandor meaning ‘defender of man’ or Gendry meaning ‘son-in-law’.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about these things, and I just cannot see GRRM throwing out all of his foreshadowing or all of the clever little things he’s been hinting at since book once, all for the sake of shock value or subverting expectations… That’s not his style and he speaks out against it.

Bearing that in mind, the clear mad queen is Cersei, who shares virtually every parallel to Aerys Targaryen - the way she tortures parent and child chained just out of reach from one another, the way torture sexually excites her, the way she was tortured into madness, and straight down to her wildfire use. Daenerys better fits the archetype of an anti-hero rather than a straight villain. With only two books left and still no signs of madness… I just don’t see it going down this way in the books.

As for whatever just happened with Daenerys, I’ve been given a compelling argument that in the books, as she squares off with (f)Aegon Targaryen, or, Young Griff, in an effort to expose the Mummer’s Dragon, she might accidentally set off these wildfire traps that make her look just like her father, and perhaps she even goes a little mad with grief.

Especially considering that ASOIAF is so heavily based on Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn, which share countless parallels, such as:

Norn (White foxes)  → The Others (White walkers)

Sithi (Dawn children) → Singers (Children of the forest)

Witchwood  → Weirwood

The Storm King → Night’s King

Ineluki → Azor Ahai

Sorrow → Lightbringer

Black iron → Dragonglass

Nisse → Nissa Nissa

Hayholt Castle → Winterfell Castle

Green Angel Tower → Winterfell Crypts

Simon Snowlock (secret heritage) → Jon Snow

Princess Miriamele (disguised as a boy) → Arya Stark

Warring brothers King Elias/Josua → Stannis/Renly

Tailed star → Red comet

Black priest Pryrates → Red priest Melisandre

Daenerys is suspected to be the Princess Maegwin figure, a woman who “is forced to watch as forces conquer her people and is eventually driven to madness in her desperation to save them.”

You make a good point about Fire & Blood and ASOIAF prehistory, too. Aside from the doomed Targaryen love stories I mentioned earlier, we get another history book that basically gives us a rundown of various Targaryen ladies who never got to be queen. I’d say this book has a strong feminist message - and might even hint that the last vestige of House Targaryen just might accomplish what her foremothers could not - finally becoming the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with a clip from the man, himself, about Dany:

“From my mother’s stories, I always had this kind of sense that I was like disinherited royalty. Here was this dock that my great-grandfather built - it wasn’t ours anymore. Here was this house that my mother had been born in - we didn’t own this house anymore. We didn’t own any house, we had an apartment. So it was like, ugh, I came from greatness - like Dany! And I will take back what is mine with Fire and Blood! I think on some level, that must’ve gotten to me.”—George R. R. Martin

I could be wrong about all of this, of course… but that’s my current take. 🤷

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 6.11

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time in trial 6, Shuichi’s pain over losing his friends reached breaking point as Maki was manipulated into sacrificing herself, causing him to finally realise how real they still are (and by extension how real Kaede and Kaito and the others were, even if he didn’t mention it directly), he figured out that these very efforts to overcome suffering are what the audience (supposedly) wants from them and stood up against it, the vast majority of the audience clearly didn’t actually want such a meaningful storyline as they stopped caring about Shuichi in favour of Keebo’s hope nonsense, a far-too-unreasonably-tiny fraction of audience members maybe started to see that Shuichi had a point, and Keebo finally realised that his inner voice is the bad guy and started ignoring it, giving us Shuichi back as our real protagonist again.

Shuichi has decided to abstain from voting (for reasons that he really shouldn’t be so sure will actually end Danganronpa), so now he just needs to convince his friends to do so too.

“Makoto”:  “H-Hold on, everyone. If we keep thinking, we can find a better ending and—”

Shuichi:  “Himiko, Maki, will you abstain from voting with me?”

Hah, I love Shuichi completely ignoring her bullshit and getting to the actual point. Now that he’s found his strength again and knows exactly what’s up, he is not sitting through any more of her pointless nonsense.

Shuichi:  “Himiko, we can put an end to this insane killing game. We’re going to use our lives to end this madness!”

Himiko:  “Use our lives…?”

Shuichi:  “But Himiko… you have to choose, okay?”

It’s lovely how Shuichi makes it clear that this is still her choice. He’s asking his friends to choose to kill themselves to end the killing game – of course that’s a huge thing for them to do, so he doesn’t want to be forcing them to do it if they’re not genuinely okay with giving up their lives for this.

(It’s a lot like how Kaito was. He never forced people to agree with his philosophies and advice. He’d say his bit in the hope that it’d inspire and persuade them, but in the end he always gave people room to choose to buy into his words on their own.)

Shuichi:  “Only those who have found the truth can choose their destiny!”

This is something Kaede said to him, during their elevator ride to the first trial! (Admittedly this is a different wording than Kaede used, probably thanks to lack of localiser communication, meaning I never picked up on this until literally right now doing the commentary. But still!) He’s using the strength his fallen friends gave him to do this!

And then Himiko gets to be the protagonist for a little bit! I love that the narrative does this. This here is the actual Danganronpa-ending moment of the real protagonist inspiring his friends to make a choice, the thing that Keebo’s Mass Panic Debate was a cheap inferior imitation of. But instead of just making it about Shuichi shooting some kind of bullet at them, which would almost kind of seem like he’s forcing them to change their minds, we get to play this as Himiko and Maki, as they make up their own minds and decide on their terms to agree with Shuichi!

It’s also just lovely that they briefly get to be protagonists, because they are, even though Shuichi has been the protagonist we’ve been following. “Each of you are the heroes of your own stories! So act more like it!” Kaito was so right to say that and so good to see everyone around him that way! Everyone’s story is important!

Himiko:  (If we don’t stop this killing game, these tragedies will keep happening… Tenko and Angie… wouldn’t want that!)

And it’s nice to see in Himiko’s thoughts here that she’s still thinking about Tenko and Angie and what they would have wanted.

“Gundham”:  To choose death is to blaspheme against life itself!”

…

“Sakura”:  “That would be a meaningless death.”

(Tsumugi is still terrible, but I like that she chose to use these two characters here who had philosophies and stories that are relevant to this idea.)

Himiko:  “Even if I am a fictional character, my life is real… That’s why killing games are fun, right? It’s fun to see two lives clash, right?”

This is presumably meant to be justification as to why the in-universe audience is okay with watching this happen to actual real people and couldn’t settle for just literal fiction. But this particular reason doesn’t really make it any easier for me to buy this. In actual fiction, it’s fun when lives are on the line because it gives things high stakes and keeps the story tense. But that doesn’t need real lives to be on the line to do that – simply using the suspension of disbelief and thinking about how it’s real within the completely fictional universe is enough for that. Using actual real people who really die should just make the whole thing extremely sick and tasteless and no longer fun at all to watch.

And clearly this audience mitigates that for themselves quite a bit by telling themselves “oh it’s fine because they’re not really real people right” – but in that case, it’s essentially equivalent to them watching fiction anyway, so the supposed fun of watching “real lives” clash would also be lost, no?

There’s a much more appropriate potential reason for why this audience prefers this kind of “real fiction” over actual genuine fiction. Using real people means things aren’t entirely scripted by a writing team, which means that more unexpected and exciting events can happen than if everything was truly fictional. And in that vein, it could still be possible for them to be telling themselves that the characters are only “real” in the sense that they act outside of their creators’ expectations, kind of like an AI simulation can do unexpected things that a human wouldn’t have imagined, but they’re still not real people with real lives so it’s fine, right? (Man, Keebo’s robot issues could have been made so relevant to what everyone else is now going through.)

It is still a stretch no matter how you try and spin it, I admit. But ultimately, the fact that people happily watch real death games is fundamental to the basic premise of V3’s outside world, so we’ve just got to accept it. Kind of like how Junko having managed to spread her despair to apocalyptic levels was pretty difficult to buy but necessary to accept anyway because that was the whole point of that outside world.

Himiko:  “So Tenko, Angie, and all the past victims can rest in peace…”

Aww, Himiko. I wonder if she might be thinking about this fairly literally, too. She was willing to do the seance to speak to Angie, so she may well believe that they have some kind of spirit that’s not going to be able to rest unless nobody ever has to go through what they did again. And by “past victims”, she’s not just talking about the other victims of this particular game, because it isn’t only about them. This is about everyone who’s suffered in every single real killing game in the past, who fought so hard to end it only for their efforts to ultimately be meaningless, until now.

“Himiko, don’t die!!!”

Huh, even Himiko has some fans! And this one actually seems like a reasonable person, not wanting the character they like to die.

“Himiko hats are nearly sold out!”

…Man, that’s so completely realistic and understandable but also so fucked up. Himiko’s identity is just being sold as a costume that anyone can wear and use to pretend to be like her even though she’s a real goddamn person who never consented to this. Her outfit was originally designed by Tsumugi, sure, but she didn’t know that and has always felt like it’s hers and a part of her identity. I bet this has happened a lot for everyone who’s died, too. When the three of them escape, they’re probably going to sometimes bump into people casually cosplaying their dead friends like that’s not incredibly gross and messed up. Maybe Tsumugi is onto something when she says that it’s wrong to cosplay a real person – not because it’s disrespectful to the act of cosplaying, though, but rather because it’s disrespectful to the person and their loved ones.

“Himiko’s eyes are open.”

It’s not certain, but… this person might get it? They might be acknowledging that Himiko is making the right choice and this is what needs to happen.

“Is it our fault?”

Yes! Yes, this is your fault, and you deserve to be feeling bad about it, and you should be trying to do something to fix it!

“I’ll end the killing game.”

Maybe this person means what they’re saying, too. Maybe some people are starting to come around. But even if they are, they are still only a tiny, tiny minority. I’m pointing them out because they’re worth noting, but the majority of commenters are still very not on board with this.

“i wanna protect Shuichi <3”

No, you don’t. If you really want to do that then you’ll stay the fuck away from him.

“Imposter Byakuya”:  “Perhaps that thought is just another work of fiction, following along my outline.”

Tsumugi:  “It could be a part of my script, just like Maki falling for Kaito, y’know?”

Tsumugi seems to have given up on persuading Himiko out of this and is now targeting Maki. It’s not just about the Kaito thing – the entire idea that her thoughts and actions have just been decided for her by someone else and she never really had any of her own agency is something which is deeply relevant to Maki’s issues, and that’s been tormenting her a lot in this trial already. Tsumugi does appear to understand that this idea is likely to shake Maki the most – maybe I should be giving her a little more credit than I was earlier. Or maybe she’s only realised this because of the way Maki reacted earlier.

Tsumugi:  “Cuz if none of you vote and I do, then I’ll be the only one who survives! Doesn’t that sound exactly like something the big bad mastermind would come up with?”

That’d honestly be more of an actual “despair” ending than the everyone-lives-boringly-in-the-academy ending she’s actually pushing as the “despair” option for the vote.

Not that that should make it an entertaining ending that the audience would want either. What’s most fun about despair is the moment when characters lose hope and fall into it, and then sometimes if that despair then causes them to do awful things because they don’t care any more, like when Maki was willing to get everyone else killed in trial 5. But usually, the part after falling into despair is simply boring, such as earlier in chapter 5 when everyone had seen the outside world and lost all motivation to do anything. And a despair ending where everyone but the mastermind dies is definitely the boring kind.

Maki:  “…”

Maki’s wincing. Tsumugi’s argument makes enough sense to her that she’s starting to doubt herself. She still hasn’t quite shaken off the feeling that their goal should be to “defeat despair” by killing the mastermind, even though that’s the thought that was manipulated and written into her.

Shuichi:  “It’s okay, Maki. Believe in me. And believe in yourself, just like you believed in Kaito.”

Maki:  “Believe… in myself?”

This is what Maki’s entire character arc comes down to in the end: she’s been gradually learning to believe that she has worth as a person. Not only that she deserves to have friends, but that her feelings and desires and choices are important and worthwhile and hers. Kaito believed that about her from the very beginning and never doubted it for a second even after learning her secret. Maki can believe that easily enough about everyone around her, especially Kaito and Shuichi after all they’ve done for her. But the hardest thing for her is still believing it about herself.

Shuichi:  “That’s why you have to fight, even if you’re scared. Because you have that strength.”

Maki is definitely still scared to believe in herself, even though she has the strength to do it by now thanks to Kaito and Shuichi’s support. It’s a little surprising that Shuichi is saying this, though, because he never used to properly see Maki as “weak” like he was, not when her type of weakness was so very different to his. So I wonder if Shuichi is partly thinking about and saying this to himself here.

Shuichi:  “Come on, it’d be a lousy story if the hero gave up so easily!”

And this is something Kaito said to him! A lot more word-for-word this time (except Shuichi swapped the “crappy” for “lousy”). Kaito was saying that about himself at the time, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also work as a sentiment for everyone to hold onto. Everyone’s the hero of their own story, after all!

It’s a shame that Maki doesn’t actually know these are Kaito’s words because this was from the hangar conversation where Shuichi and Kaito were alone. But I’m sure she can figure it out anyway – Kaito was always the one to talk about heroes, after all.

(Also, here’s yet more emphasis of the fact that Shuichi and his friends are making a really good story here, and why in the hell is this not what the audience wants to see?)

Maki:  (My desire to end this killing game may be fictional…)

Makiii, why would you doubt that. Anyone who has an ounce of sense would want to end the killing game; people not being horribly killed any more is objectively a good thing!

Maki:  (All of that might be implanted as well… Just like my feelings for Kaito…)

Bullshit, Maki Roll. Don’t listen to her manipulation. You made it very clear yourself that your feelings for Kaito came from the kind of person he was and everything he did for you, and all of that was real! You’re the only one who knows exactly how you came to feel that way about Kaito, so you should know better than anyone else that that was all you!

(And even if her feelings were implanted (which they still definitely weren’t) that wouldn’t make them any less real now that she’s feeling them.)

Maki:  (Everything is fiction. A story written by someone…)

Only some of it was written, not everything! Listen to what Shuichi’s been saying about how real you all still are!

Tsumugi:  “Even your thoughts are works of fiction.”

…That is not how thoughts work, Tsumugi. Maki has a real brain that is really thinking those thoughts. Flashback Lights can influence them to some extent, but you cannot possibly have written every single thing that is going through her head.

Shuichi:  “It’s because of everyone’s sacrifices that we’ve come this far. Their deaths have to be more than just fiction…”

Of course they are, because they really died! Even the ones who were always scripted to die, like Kaede and Kaito – that doesn’t make the fact that they died any less real!

Maki:  (I’ll end this killing game… I’ll believe in my feelings!)

Yes, Maki! You are a person and your feelings and desires are yours and they matter! Screw anyone who tries to tell you otherwise!

Maki:  “I will believe in myself!”

This is Maki’s voiced line when she shoots the bullet of agreement at Shuichi, and it’s lovely. For her, this isn’t just about ending the killing game; it’s about finally pushing herself to believe for sure that her feelings are important and finally, finally reaching the culmination of her character arc, here right at the end of chapter 6.

Maki:  “If I can’t believe in my feelings, then my existence will have no meaning.”

And you’d just be a puppet doing whatever awful things other people want from you and never having your own life. You don’t want that any more, right, Maki Roll?

Kaito would be so, so proud to see her here. He’d be just as proud of Shuichi too, but in that case, it was more like Kaito already saw Shuichi as the hero he’s being now, even if Shuichi didn’t see it himself. With Maki, though, Kaito always believed she had the potential to reach this point, but I think he also knew she hadn’t quite reached it yet while he was still alive. So he never got to see that in the end, and that’s such a shame. It would have made him so happy to be here for this.

Maki:  “If we can change reality, then we won’t be just fiction… Our lives will have significance.”

The camera pans to Kaito’s death portrait here, suggesting that Maki is thinking of him and that this’ll mean his life has significance too. If Maki gave up and decided that everything she’s gained from Kaito was just meaningless fiction, then it really would be like he never had any significance. The idea that he’d just die for nothing without having had any impact at all was exactly what Kaito was so terrified of when he realised he was dying. But Maki’s not going to let Kaito’s fears come true. He’s going to live on through his sidekicks and be remembered as the life-changing hero that he was, just like he deserves to be.

(oops i’m doing myself a very big emotion again)

Maki:  “And hopefully… my feelings will have significance, too.”

They already do if you decide they do, Maki! Nobody else needs to decide that for you but you! The only thing that matters is what you want to believe!

{Later addendum edit: Turns out that while doing this commentary, I missed a set of audience comments that were only on-screen for literally two text boxes at around this point. Since I spotted these and copied them down way later than I wrote this commentary post, I wasn’t really in the commentary-flow mood of picking out individual ones to rag on, so instead, in this addendum edit, you get literally every one I could see.

LOL are we the baddies?

Why does Keebo exist anyway?

Maki, too…

I’m gonna cry ;_;

For Shuichi’s sake <3

Let’s stop.

If Maki dies, I’m out a million bucks.

Where’s the hope vs. despair?

lol jk… I was wrong

I’m starting to feel guilty.

I’m starting to get into this.

im triggered by suicide mentions

The characters’ lives…

i’m 12 please visit my channel

I wanted to keep watching

super lame if they committed suicide

They remind me of my daughters

if it’s not fun, it’s not Ronpa!

I bolded the ones that indicate a few of the audience members at least vaguely acknowledging that they’re in the wrong… and you can see how much of a minority they’re still in, even at such a late point in this trial. Geeeez.}

“Hiro”:  “Man, why do you guys wanna die so badly!?”

Shuichi:  “It’s not that I want to die! We fought so hard to survive… Of course we don’t want to die. But it’s not just about us.”

The thought that they’re all going to sacrifice their lives after everything they’ve been through is heartbreaking when you think back to the fact that Kaede and Kaito and the rest of their friends all desperately wanted them to survive and get out of here. It almost feels like Shuichi’s betraying their wishes right now. But the thing is, this has become so much bigger than just them and just this one killing game. This is about everyone who’s ever suffered and died in one of these awful games, and everyone who ever will if they don’t stop this right here. If the only way to get it to stop is to sacrifice themselves, then that is worth it. And I think their fallen friends would be able to accept that too, if they were still here to see this.

Shuichi:  “Everyone who died in the killing games felt the same way. They were all desperate to live. They wanted to survive. For themselves… and for someone else. That desire… isn’t fictional to us! That pain isn’t fictional to us!”

I appreciate having a little more focus on how Shuichi has realised that none of them were ever really fictional in any meaningful sense of the word, including his friends he’s lost, and that everyone really meant everything they did and really felt all of that pain.

And the way he says “killing games”, plural, indicates that he’s thinking of every past killing game as well. Neither we nor Shuichi have seen any of those games, but we can use this one and these characters we knew as an example to imagine that everyone from those previous games must have felt that same kind of pain and suffering and desperation to live. This is for them, too.

Tsumugi:  “As long as the world wants killing games, Danganronpa will not end!”

Shuichi:  “Then we have to change it!”

Tsumugi:  “There’s no way you can change it! Fiction could never change the real—”

Keebo:  “You don’t believe in the power of fiction?”

It’s a little odd to me that it’s Keebo who cuts her off by saying this. The person in this room who clearly believes most strongly in the power of fiction is Shuichi, with everything he’s been saying here, and appropriately backed up by the fact that he likes novels. Meanwhile, nothing has ever indicated that Keebo is a particularly avid reader or has any investment in the topic of fiction himself.

This would work if Keebo went on to cite some of the things he’s still been hearing from his inner voice that show how much Danganronpa has affected and changed people’s lives, but he doesn’t do anything like that. Not helped, of course, by the fact that this audience is not even remotely coming across as the kind of audience that has actually had its life changed by this fiction. Keebo is just so much missed potential.

Keebo:  “If fiction has the power to touch people’s hearts, then that power can change the world! That is what I believe!”

Instead he’s just waxing lyrical about fiction in general with no indication of what brought him to feel this way and believe this so strongly. This is a good sentiment, but Keebo’s use of it here just feels forced.

(You know who else other than Shuichi would very believably be a strong advocate of the power of fiction? Himiko! She’s presenting a fiction to the world all the time, all for the sake of giving people smiles! If her magic makes people smile even though it’s really fictional, then that means that it’s her fiction that’s doing all the real magic! The fact that things that we know full well are completely made-up can nonetheless draw us in and make us want to pretend it’s real and feel genuine emotion really is just freaking magical, and that goes for stories just as much as magic tricks.)

(…Not that Himiko would actually admit her magic is fiction, but I can see her getting this idea across by saying something like, “My magic is definitely real, but fiction can be almost as powerful as magic, you know!”)

Tsumugi:  “Are you serious?”

Maki:  “Are you getting flustered? Your costume changes are less frequent now.”

Hah, I like Maki calling her out on that. That’s the kind of thing it’s supposed to be my job to point out, but honestly I might not have even noticed the significance of that here without Maki’s insight.

“Nagito”:  “But what about hope?”

“Junko”:  “What about despair?”

Keebo:  “Do whatever you want with hope and despair.”

I love that they all just do not give a fuck any more. Even Keebo! Honestly, him having finally realised that all this hope and despair stuff is bullshit is the biggest character growth we’ve seen from him this whole game.

Monokuma:  “…Voting Time? No! Not yet! This killing game will continue!”

And now we get the sequence where Monokuma and Tsumugi keep trying to force Shuichi to “play” the game even though they’ve obviously already lost. You’re meant to run out this Nonstop Debate’s uniquely short timer, but another way to end it is to turn the “Continue the Game” bullet into “End the Game” by “lying” and fire that at any statement. It’s neat that they thought of that option.

It’s cute bit of fourth-wall-leaning that they then force you through multiple trial minigames that you have to stubbornly ignore… but this doesn’t actually make any sense. In-universe, this is a live reality TV show and not a videogame, and Shuichi doesn’t actually get given these minigames to play.

Oh look, it’s a Psyche Taxi segment that I don’t have to complain about! Because I don’t have to play it! Welp, I’m officially declaring this to be the best Psyche Taxi in the game, right here.

…For some reason, the car still moves ever so slightly even if you don’t press the accelerate button. And the fact that I have skills equipped to make this minigame go faster means I got closer to completing the question than other players would.

What must you never give up?

-      Hope

-      Hope

-      Hope

-      Hope

This wouldn’t even be an interesting story if they played along, though. This would just be Shuichi spouting meaningless platitudes about hope, like Keebo was a while ago.

Shuichi:  “We’re trying to survive! You’re the ones who want us to be entertaining!”

Remember the bit back in chapter 5 where Kokichi called Kaito “not boring” as he was supposedly about to die from the poison, and Kaito’s only response was a bewildered “What?”? That made me think of this line here. Nobody here has ever given a crap about whether or not what they’re doing is entertaining… except for Kokichi, because he was very like the mastermind of this game in a lot of ways.

“This was totally miscast.”

…Do some of them seriously think these are still actors? It’s sort of vaguely plausible that people might have been led to believe that until now, but these developments should definitely have blown the lid off of that deception even if that were the case.

“I don’t care as long as Himiko lives.”

Himiko still has a fan or two! But if they were really her fans, they’d want what she wants at this point, even if it means she has to die.

“I paid to see the punishments!”

“Make everyone die.”

There’s still plenty of people here who aren’t even believable viewers of fiction in any way. If all they’re here for is seeing people die, then clearly they don’t actually care about the characters, in which case what the hell was even the point of watching in the first place? Plus, a downer ending in which everyone dies presumably wouldn’t bother these people!

“This is why I wanted Kaede to live.”

Why? Kaede would be advocating for the exact same thing that Shuichi is right now, you know!

(This line does imply that the out-universe writers expected some of their actual audience to have wished Kaede had lived instead of Shuichi. But this doesn’t make nearly as much sense for the in-universe audience to think, because Kaede was never presented to them as the apparent protagonist.)

“Shuichi is mine! <3”

No, he isn’t, leave him the fuck alone.

The general gist of the audience’s comments, however, is them complaining about how they’re not enjoying this.

Shuichi:  “If you’re going to complain… perhaps you should just stop watching.”

(More proof that Shuichi and the others can actually see all of these comments.)

This is still so awkwardly disconnected from reality. Everything that’s been happening since Shuichi realised what was up and started fighting back has been a way more compelling story than any of the nonsense that was going on while Keebo was being the protagonist. An actual reasonable audience wouldn’t be complaining about this at all – the only part of it they should have any potential issue with is the thought of no more killing games after this, but this killing game is getting a far better ending than it was looking like it was going to have a little while ago.

The conundrum that the out-universe writers have here is that they’re simultaneously trying to present an ending that’s supposedly boring enough to the in-universe audience that it ends the franchise, while not actually making the story boring to the real audience because they still want us to enjoy their game. They’re doing a decent enough job of keeping things compelling for us, at least in terms of how Shuichi and his friends have been acting here… but apparently the only way they could then try and sell the idea that the in-universe audience isn’t enjoying this like the out-universe audience should is by presenting the in-universe audience as mindless assholes who are not remotely relatable and nothing like a real audience of fiction would be. Which extremely compromises the point they’re trying to make about why this has gone on for so long in-universe.

But really, it would have been better, and easier, for the out-universe writers to have simply not given themselves this conundrum in the first place. Shuichi doesn’t actually need to try and give the audience a boring ending to end Danganronpa. If he did achieve it that way, it still wouldn’t fix the underlying problem this world has: that people think real-life killing games are a cool idea in principle, even if Danganronpa has apparently stagnated as a series enough to have ended. What Shuichi should actually be trying to do, already, is persuade the audience that they shouldn’t want this or anything like this any more, because real people dying is not worth anyone’s entertainment. That’s the only reasonable way things can end, and he should already be able to see that.

This wouldn’t be so hard to do if the audience had actually been presented as a vaguely reasonable audience of fiction who had been mostly wilfully ignoring the fact that everyone’s real until now. Because now, the fact that the audience has been watching real people die is part of the story, in a way that it’s never been before for however many of the 53 seasons have been real. It’s no longer something the audience can possibly ignore, no matter how much they may want to. And the audience should be reacting to this like any reasonable audience would – by rooting for the characters to get what they want, even if, in this case, it means the audience no longer gets what it wants. If this fiction was going to be powerful enough to change the world, all of that power and influence to be able to do so should have already happened through all five previous chapters of getting everyone more and more attached to these characters and invested in their goals. The majority of the audience should already be on Shuichi’s side here.

Obviously this would still be hard for a lot of people to accept – that they’re the villains, that in order for their heroes to win and get a happy ending they’ll need to stop getting their favourite show, that actually they should feel awful about having ever enjoyed the show in the first place. There’d still be plenty of resistance – but it should be meaningful resistance full of people having conflicted, human reactions to realising that they’ve always been in the wrong, not any of this one-dimensional “hurr durr this is boring everyone should just be yelling about hope and/or dying”.

---

[Next post]

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x07 analysis - putting the mind at ease

I absolutely loved this episode, the attention to detail, the explanations, the tone, and pacing. It was definitely my favorite of the season so far. And, climbing the charts to the best of the series but you’d have to work really hard to top a The 100 finale. This season is shaping up to be the best, the stories they’re exploring, the sci-fi content, the unpredictability, everything is top notch. Well done Jason and the writers, are you good friends with Elon Musk?

Ready to take a trip down memory lane, buckle up, it’s a long ride, ready, let’s go! I’m breaking this up into Clarke’s encounters with her ghosts since it takes place solely in her mind. It’s fitting for Clarke to wake up in her prison cell given that she’s literally trapped in her subconscious. Also, if I had to picture the inside of it, I’d see drawings everywhere too.

The safe space - daddy’s arms

To me, it seems like the images and voices she encounters first are those she’s lost except for her child. Finn, Wells, Lexa, and of course her father. When Clarke realizes she’s dead, she’s glad her fight is finally over but regrets not being able to say goodbye. To Madi and mom. I’ve seen some people upset that she didn’t include Bellamy, that’s because she did greet him in a certain way when she apologized and told him he was her family.

Now, the weather is a direct product of her mood. When she encounters Jake, the sun is bright in a place she was once happy. Then, the thunder starts when she gets upset. I would have liked it to be Jake himself letting her in on the heartbeat and the fact that she’s alive but he’s only a figment of her imagination. Meaning it’s the way she would have wanted it too. 

I imagine this scene as the life Clarke pictured living. Content, with her father alive and Madi going to school while she draws and farms.

A.L.I.E to the rescue

Those words make no sense. Funny how she instantly transforms into Wanheda in the presence of the AI. I had some other theories on why Clarke survived and then I watched a Youtube video by the Theorizer before the episode aired which explained this fact and it made complete sense. A.L.I.E saved Clarke.

How does this work? I found an article in Techworld that explains it as follows: “At its most basic form, neural lace is an ultra-thin mesh that can be implanted in the skull, forming a collection of electrodes capable of monitoring brain function. It creates an interface between the brain and the machine.

To insert neural lace, a tiny needle containing the rolled up mesh is placed inside the skull and the mesh is injected. As the mesh leaves the needle it unravels, spanning the brain.”

To remove the neuro mesh from Clarke’s brain, they would have to EMP her. In other words, remove Josephine from the brain, drain the last of the neuro mesh and re-insert the body-snatcher.

Furthermore, I’d like to touch on the subject of there is no joy without pain. Believing this is tragical. Sure, life does include unpleasant bumps and hurdles but joy can certainly exist without pain. A glimpse into her trampled heart.

Then, A.L.I.E tells her the painful memories aren’t present. This boggles me somewhat because like I’ve said her most prominent drawings are those she’s lost. Isn’t that painful enough? Is that why she moved on to Mount Weather and the fighting pit or is there something even more agonizing than those? Something Josephine encounters by herself later?

Encountering the parasite

So, Josephine describes why both minds cannot survive simultaneously. I’m not a neurosurgeon but I gathered that the brain does not have the capacity to maintain both, which will lead to cerebral hemorrhaging and a stroke.  

A power struggle between two badass female characters is always a delight to watch. Clarke Griffin is not someone you wanna mess with, told ya! The hypocrisy in Josie calling Clarke selfish and dumb is amusing. Check the mirror, sweetie.

She’s not stupid in the literal sense, obviously, she only overestimates her own causes and abilities. But the “when I tell you not to think of an elephant, what do you think about” move is smart. Unfortunately for her, our blonde hero is one step ahead.

Unlike the prime princess, who lives in a peaceful castle on a moon, Clarke has fought her fair share of battles and easily kicks ass in a physical fight. Just as she thinks she’s won, the parasite shows up again with the news that she can’t die in the mind space. Dramatic sigh.

On being haunted by Bloodreina

“Even your projections hate you, Clarke.” In episode two we already see that she is her own worst enemy. She hates herself more than anyone for the things she’s had to do. 

1) Letting the bomb drop on TonDC

2) Stealing the bunker while Octavia fought for it

3) Leaving Bellamy to die in the fighting pits

Oh and now we learn why we don’t see Bellamy. He’s the one person she cannot face. In 6x04 she acknowledged leaving him to die is her deepest regret. In 6x01 she tells him he kept her sane during the six years alone. Clearly, she’d rather go up against Bloodreina, a controversial monster, than him. Why is that?

Bellamy has forgiven you, Clarke. Go ahead and forgive yourself.

Mount Weather

The place responsible for creating Wanheda. Now, it’s common knowledge that Clarke blames herself for what happened to Mia and Jasper. But seeing her question the godly decisions to save those she loves is heartbreaking. Yes, she’s made some bad choices in the past but this shows just how remorseful and compassionate Clarke truly is. War made her a monster, though that’s not who she is, at all. At least it led to the realization that she’s still in control of her own mind.

Finn’s death and Jasper’s cage

Sneaky, Clarke. Hiding the memory in one of the places you’ll never wish to revisit. But sadly, Josephine doesn’t mind exploring the place where you had to mercy kill Finn or dig into Jasper.

As if it’s not bad enough that the devil lures her to the last place she’ll want to see, she uses the one self-loathing thing about Clarke to manipulate her into giving up. Amusing how the final turning point is learning that Bellamy’s willing to sacrifice her for saving everyone else. Is it the comprehension that Bellamy no longer cares that causes her surrender or the fact that it’s the only way to save her people? A bit of both I assume.

The lock sequence was awesome - 0100. “You forgot about Bellamy and Raven - 0102. There’s only 6 of the 102 left now if I’m right. Seeing her cry in Lexa’s throne though, was so, so sad. 

They definitely saved the best for last with Monty

I cannot express my gratitude for this unexpected return enough. I’ve had some terrible Monty, Harper and Jasper depression hours over the last week and this made my day. So, Mr. Cockroach Murphy, this is not what Monty would have wanted. Letting them get away with killing innocent people for immortality does not fall within the definition of doing better. 

If only Clarke knew how much Madi needs her right now. She’s trudging on dangerous ground and could use some serious motherly guidance.

Who better to light the way to victory than the man who saved humanity? Six seasons and his death down the line and he’s still picking locks. Hate to be the one to say this, but Raven, Monty is purer than you are. 

Applause for using Josephine’s own tactics against her by controlling her through the no-go-zone.

Crossing the sociopath's threshold

That door looks so much like a blissful suburban family home over Christmas, which I’m sure Josephine had back on earth before her tragedy. Oh, and the library is amazing, I must say. I imagine my own mind looking much the same, I love books.

But in that perfect little head, the most horrific things are hidden. Why are the primes so afraid of dying? Is it only power and narcissism that causes Josephine to resort to oblation?

Clarke learns that she offered the nulls to the trees, hence banning them from their society because they hinder the nightbloodline. But Isaac, Kaylee’s lover, gave them to Gabriel to build an army, instead. I’m certain Clarke will use this info in the future.

Gabriel loved Josephine once, I’m sure we’ll still get to this story but I can’t wait to see the face-off between the two. His last host was already 95 at the time of the memory, meaning now, six years later, he’s 101. Which is why I assume he can only exist within the anomaly where time is altered. And like I’ve said many times before the trio in the woods will turn out to be Sanctum’s saviors.

But we also see the good side of Josephine, the person she once was. PTSD probably morphed her into becoming a sociopath and the mind-drives enhanced the trauma. I feel bad for what happened to her but it does not by any means justify the person she’s become.

Why is she looking to Bellamy when she says, “I know how to kill her once and for all.” Did she see the memory of Clarke telling Roan, “I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting. Just, please, don’t kill him?”

Bellamy Blake, you genius

I knew it, I called it. Bellamy was the first to figure out that Josie’s not Clarke and of course the first to deduce that she’s still alive. That was some big soulmate energy right there!!! Thank you for being a big ol’ nerd and paying attention in Earth Skills.

That smile, a stark contrast to the tears that rolled last week. His princess is not gone and he’ll swim the Atlantic to bring her back. He’s gonna reel in everyone’s help on this project but be careful Bell, Josephine does not go down easy.

Just a side note. I appreciate Miller and his standoffishness in this scene since no-one seemed to mourn her last week.

One last thing, I may have been wrong about Abby, she might know something and it’s possible that’s she’s planning on taking Russel’s body for Kane. An eye-for-an-eye?

That’s all folks. As usual, you’re welcome to disagree with me. I love hearing I’m wrong and why.

[princimutasays]

I actually have something to say about NCW's answer to the Jaime x Brienne question at SDCC.

(I want to use it as an excuse to express some thoughts on this)

Something I've been thinking about for a while now.

Something I think NCW was right about in this last GOT Panel.

"Jaime was never going to be with Brienne because he was too obsessed with Cersei" or it wouldn't work or something like that.

And you know what?

It's true.

I think D&D have been making it true for a long time.

I think they have actively worked on creating and feeding this obsession in all the seasons before the last one.

I think they NEVER, NEVER wanted Jaime to be free of Cersei's "ghost" or whatever you want to call it.

And when Nik says Jaime could have never been with Brienne I think it's implicit that he couldn't because D&D would have never allowed it. Because that was never their vision for "their" character.

This is not NCW opinion on Jaime. This is NCW opinion on D&D.

At first they only changed little things, little details of his story, and it seemed something necessary for the change of medium...but season after season those details became bigger and bigger (Dorne??????????) (LADY STONEHEART?????) (And the bitch slap but that's my weakness, I know..) finally reaching the peak with Cersei BLOWING UP the Sept of Baelor with WILDFIRE, killing many MANY MANY people and provoking their own son's death showing no remorse whatsoever.

So. She did THAT.

And HE STAYED.

HE FREAKING STAYED.

Jaime Lannister, the young boy who had killed the king he had sworn to protect in order to save the city from that same WILDFIRE.

That boy STAYED.

The man who had been traumatized by wildfire so much that he couldn't tell the truth about it for like 15 years. (Until Brienne but let it be for now..).

That man STAYED.

This is the real betrayal to the character.

This is where we should have understood that his redemption could not have a satisfying ending.

Because they would never allow it.

This is the butterfly effect GRRM always talks about. At first they change little things, then they become bigger and bigger and at the end they completely turn a character upside down.

This is why NCW says that Jaime could never be with Brienne because of his obsession love for Cersei.

Because HE KNOWS this is what D&D wanted. Because HE KNOWS that they have fed this annoying and self destructive obsession for years, cutting off entire plotlines and sistematically changing both their characters to make it more believable.

((I mean, I know they said that that was not a rape scene but, really, I was fucking TRAUMATIZED by that scene. Because when I watched it for the first time IT WAS A RAPE. And I couldn't believe that JAIME LANNISTER could ever do something like that. And even after those clumsy explanations..it left an uneasiness in me that I still can't really let go.

Obviously, as I found out soon after, by reading the original scene, it was NOTHING like the scene from the book. It was just another completely unuseful and damning change with the only purpose of humanizing Cersei's character and giving Jaime a dark side that at that point HE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD ANYMORE. (Not that book!Jaime could EVER rape someone or force himself on someone - even before losing his hand and everything - but you know what I mean, here we were after season 3, he should have been the better man).

He was a too likeable character at that point and they had to make him do that to push him again in that disturbing dark line that defined him as a villain.))

They couldn't give Jaime's character the arc he had in the books because they needed him to be Cersei's pet for whatever reason and they didn't allow his natural process of growth in order to make this shitty ending happen.

They stalled him season after season, while they could have used Nik's talent to portray a deep and wonderful redemption arc, simply because they DIDN'T WANT TO.

And we know how many times Nik has tried to reason with them. How many times he has tried to change their perspective. How many times he has publicly opposed their choices for his character (remember when Cersei's unexpected pregnancy was announced? Remember how fucking miserable he was? Remember his petty interviews? Because I do. He was mad. VERY FUCKING MAD).

And do you know what I also remember?

I remember that NCW was fooled by D&D not once but twice. In the exact way we all were fooled.

- The first time was when Cersei blew up the Sept.

He was ADAMANT that Jaime would leave her after this. They made him give her that stinky eye for a reason, guys. That had to mean that he was done with her. That had to mean that he was GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. Because that was what book!Jaime had done many years prior AND without the help of wild fire.

But no. No. We need to subvert expectations.

So, season 7 starts and the twins are together! Cersei's pregnant and she doesn't give a fuck about secrecy anymore because she's the Queen so incest is legal now, I guess? And their son will rule the seven kindoms and WHAT IS THIS?????

And Jaime stays. He stays and he walks around with that dreamy expression, acting like the PERACOTTARO he has become in this show (peracottaro is an italian word we use to say that someone has no will, so show!Jaime is a PERACOTTARO).

- The second time Nik was fooled was when, after acting his last scene with Cersei from season 7 as a "fuck you I don't love you anymore", he reads the script for season 8 and he finds out that JAIME GOES BACK TO DIE WITH HER.

After finally getting the freedom his Book!self has gained years ago, show!Jaime fucks up all his character development and goes back where he started. AND WITHOUT RINGING THOSE FREAKING BELLS!!!! (Not to mention that sad sentence about the people of KL I still have nightmares about...)

So, Nik was betrayed as much as we were and as much as book!Jaime was...but, in the end, that was not a surprise.

We should have expected it.

We should have read the signs and we should have been prepared to watch this tragedy unfold in front of us.

Because, stay with me here, even though the Jaime Lannister we saw in the first half of season 8 was the most IN CHARACTER with himself (and with Book!Jaime) since maybe season 3, he was actually very OOC considering the previous two seasons of the show.

And he was completely OOC considering D&D's vision of his character. (And that's the reason we liked Season8!Jaime so much until 8.04, but this is a story for another day...)

So this is why he could never stay with Brienne. Because D&D made it impossible for him to do so, using plot devices (like the phantom-baby-bump) and stalling Jaime's natural growth until it was too late to make it seem believable to the general audience.

Until the general public would consider his love for Brienne so impossible (even though it was evident in his eyes and his actions during 8.02) that they would not be too freaked out by his stupid decisions in episodes 4 and 5.

Until he was reduced as a puppet with so little free will that he could only be pitied but not loved by the viewers.

In conclusion: no, Jaime Lannister would have never chosen to stay with Brienne.

Why?

Because D&D would have never allowed this choice to be made.

[bigdickfartsapolka]

Unpopular GoT opinion:

(spoilers. Obviously.)

I don't think this is unexpected. I don't think this is character assassination. Are there elements of it that I don't like? Yeah. Of course. But does it seem inconsistent with the rest of the story? Does it seem totally out of left field? Does it take me by surprise and shock me completely and totally and utterly overwhelm me with the sheer shock of it all? Nope. Not really.

BECAUSE! Here's the thing. And I may be unique or different in thinking this, but hear it out if you're gonna say anything in response...

I think the characters of Game of Thrones have never been about being heroes and villains, they were all written to be more along the lines of the Greek Tragedies and all have a fatal, "heroic"/Tragic flaw. It is central to their character, but it is also inescapable and unshakable and they have always been heading to this point. There are a few exceptions, or possibly things that I haven't seen/realized for some characters, Arya is my first go to where I don't know what flaw she has, I think she's just a totally awesome badass, forever and always. But that's not my point...

My point is this: Dany has always been "the unburnt, the unbroken, Stormborn" etc. and she has no room for rebellion or having her authority questioned. She has never given up or called it quits, and she is merciful to those who will obey and accept her authority, but she has never given her enemies an inch, and she has always had trouble distinguishing the line between friends and enemies or taking a more complicated and intricate perspective/stance. Basically, she's always been too black and white and never had a lot of room for gray area.

Cersei has never cared about anyone else except Jamie and her children. Period. We've always seen this and it has always been true. And even beyond that, she would never surrender power or see her claim to the crown questioned. We've always seen that. Her hubris was always there, and it never changed. She got Joffery to be king by getting the king killed. She killed Margery when she would have been queen and blew up the whole sept of the seven to make it happen. She didn't care for shit. And at this point, I really can't be surprised by it. Cersei was never going to give up King's Landing, and would have let the whole city burn before she would ever have even considered surrendering as an option...

Jon was always being set up to be the hero. Jon has always trusted others and asked nothing more than that they place their trust in him tio, and he's gotten stabbed in the back over it before. (LITERALLY! Can't get more fatal flaw than that.) I mean, Jon has always been kind and tried to make friends and allies and has had mixed success, but he was always getting set up for this to be the ending. People predicted the Targareyan reveal before the show even existed from reading the books. And sadly, he's always been too moral for the Game of Thrones. Just like his Father.

I recognize that it doesn't work for every single character in the show, but it definitely holds true for many of the more major players, y'all. And the in-universe logic is still staying consistent.

I play a lot of D&D, so I get that my perspective on good characters or character development and storytelling is different from lot of other people's, but there are some things that we have to remember as being part of the audience: the characters are not self-aware. They're not thinking about their character development or their arc or any of your ships, etc. Etc. Etc. They are "real" tothem, and that means the world has to stay consistent and keep the internal logic of the world they're living in. And part of that means that they don't always do the right thing or the good thing or even the thing you think is the most true to their character. They do what they would naturally do and follow the same bottom line of what they have pretty much always done and would always do, basically. That's part of being human, y'all.

Just my 2 cents on some of this season 8 nonsense.

If you want to fix it or make the story your way, then build your own world, write your own stories, and make your own characters whatever way you want to. Past that, there's fanfiction, folks.

And that's all I've got to say about that...

[absynthe--minded]

Voyager 4.23 Living Witness, Enterprise 2.02 Carbon Creek, and DS9 3.22 Explorers! I like those episodes :)

oooh I like this list so OKAY let’s start with Carbon Creek

Short Opinion: I will always love this episode because I remember watching it on its original airdate, but its quality is ehh, but I love it anyway.

Long Opinion: T’Mir is a wonderful character. Storn is great, too, and so is Mestral. I love how each of the three stranded Vulcans responds to rural America in different ways - T’Mir is indifferent and elitist until she’s suddenly yanked into empathy through an unexpected emotional connection, Storn wants to go home and has very little faith in humans to survive the coming centuries, and Mestral pulls an Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul and falls in love with a human woman and nopes out of his life. All of these responses are different, and all of them paint pictures of Vulcan culture. One of ENT’s great strengths was that it didn’t hesitate to pick apart the carefully constructed facade of Vulcan togetherness and calm, and honestly I think that’s showcased really well here. Also I love the whole “selling mundane future tech to past inventors” trope. Done to perfection in STIV, and featured here too, only as a touching character moment rather than a comedy beat.

Also I think this episode is interesting on a meta level because of what it says about T’Pol - whatever she might say about herself or her interests, she’s got human appreciation in the blood, and her attachment to T’Mir’s purse from 50s Pennsylvania says that even though she wants to stay a neutral unattached Vulcan observer there’s more going on in her heart. It foreshadows her later romance with Tripp nicely, and Mestral is foreshadowing too, of both Sarek and herself.

Final Thoughts: Aliens invented Velcro, you guys.

Living Witness:

Short Opinion: Damn, history really is complicated.

Long Opinion: This isn’t actually one of my favorite Voyager episodes, but it’s really cool to watch and I recommend it nonetheless. Voyager shone when it was tackling real-world issues that other Treks didn’t touch - the dangers of dogmatic thinking, depression and self-harm in the wake of tragedy, autonomy and the self and the development of adult consciousness, and (as featured here) how hard or easy it is to figure out what really happened in the past. Historical analysis is kind of like a jigsaw puzzle where half the box is missing and has been replaced by a totally different puzzle, and the end goal is to use the half-constructed object to write a several-thousand word essay about what the designer was feeling three weeks prior to its initial conception; watching Quarren struggle both with his desire to find out the truth and his fears for his culture is interesting for anyone remotely interested in the study of Earth’s past.

I like, too, the emphasis on truth that’s all through Star Trek but here especially. It doesn’t matter that the comforting fiction of the past kept two societies from violence, because their peace was made on a falsehood and it therefore won’t last. In our current era of fake news and manipulative pundits, we need that message more than ever.

I guess ultimately what I’m saying is that while I don’t enjoy “Living Witness” as an episode on its own merits I think it’s important, and I think people ought to watch it if they’re interested in science fiction tackling real-world issues.

Final Thought: What happened to this copy of the Doctor?? I kind of want fanfiction now.

Explorers:

Short Opinion: Suck it, Ancient Aliens.

Long Opinion: One of my personal pet peeves is the trivializing of (largely white American) insistence that No Human Could Have Ever Done Massive Past Thing. I’m thinking about stuff like “aliens built the pyramids”, “aliens built the Easter Island heads”, “aliens made the Nazca Lines”, etc. Just because you can’t see how it was done doesn’t mean some aliens did it. How would you feel if someone from one of those cultures looked at you and said “I don’t know how they made the Hoover Dam. Aliens must have done it”? Angry, probably, and annoyed, because it’s turning something that took a lot of work into a curiosity and a magnet for conspiracy theory.

So seeing a Trek episode actually about that really makes me happy. I love “Explorers”, I think it’s great. I love that it tackles both Sisko’s genuine enthusiasm for proving his adopted people can do the thing and the Cardassians’ refusal to believe that the Bajorans they dominated and appropriated from and tried to wipe out were ever capable of something they weren’t.

On a completely different note, I love that we first run into the idea of Kasidy Yates here. I love Kasidy to pieces. And I love Jake and Ben bonding, because their father/son relationship is SO GOOD and it’s so NICE to see a Starfleet commander be a real family man. I also love that their interests are so different but that Jake loves his dad and Ben doesn’t want to force Jake to be just like him. Ugh. Sisko is the best, you guys.

Final Thought: The Romulans and Pavel Chekov would have gotten along great.

[kitsoa]

The Fated Showdown Pt. 1-The Lights

I find the debate over who’s assembling on which side to be the most interesting topic on the KH3 speculation train. Mainly because of how much of a toss up it is. And you’d think the possibilities are vast because of the ‘empty seats’ in need of filling but no Nomura makes it a toss up because each side has too many candidates. The roster is oversized, meaning that we have to essentially count on a shake up happening over the course of the game to let this master plan play out to some completion. So let’s try predicting that shake up shall we?

Disclaimer: This is just my opinion and I’m basing my percentages off of a personal hunch and no real science.

Very long post under the cut. Break down of points:

The Lights

The Shake-up

Line the Pieces

The Lights.

The per-requite for being a Guardian of Light seems to simply be that one must be a Keyblade wielder on the good side. When reviewing the viable candidates who are active and capable of function at the start of the game we have: Mickey, Sora, Riku, then Kairi and Lea in training. Since there’s no reason why their training status should disqualify them from intended candidacy that leaves 2 spots empty. So then we go to our list of wielders to save:

Aqua, Ventus, and Roxas.

It shouldn’t be assumed that the sole reason in saving these folks is to fill the Guardian roster-- so the intent and ambition to do so does not make them a guaranteed part of the the prophecy. That being said, one doesn’t need to be intended to save to be a viable candidate for the Lights. It isn’t like no one wants to save Terra, he just has virtually no leads for rescue from their perspective, so they are at a standstill. Doesn’t mean he couldn’t be a Light-- more on that later. Similarly so, Xion has no present rescue intent from our understanding so far (though hints at Lea remembering her could spawn an attempt), but her potential is about as equal as anyone else, should she be saved. So the count of potentials to take the last two spot is 5-- with Aqua, Ventus, Terra, Roxas, and Xion standing some kind of chance in the toss up. This is knowing that our heroes will not cut corners and work equally hard to save them all should the opportunity come up-- guardian or not.

Now it’s about the probability in our heroes succeeding in the respective rescues and the resulting chances of them being a Guardian.

Aqua.

Her status at being taken by the darkness puts a wrench in this rescue plan, but from trailer context we can tell that they aren’t going to take Aqua’s stint in the dark side lying down. We are getting a boss fight and a passionate rescue attempt for sure as Mickey knows where she is and makes clear plans to go for her. The TGS trailer has multiple flashes of situations both with Aqua taken by darkness and not. The question is which status lingers to the end when the prophecy is realized.

She is seen normal during a supposed conflict with Vanitas at the Land of Departure during some kind of Ventus awakening (considering the glow of light from the throne). She is also untouched by darkness in a conflict on the Dark Margin in the Realm of Darkness with Ansem SoD-- suspiciously the place where she also does battle with our protagonist under that influence (so which comes first is the question). Finally, and the biggest hint at what I think is a successful rescue, is Sora’s hand reaching in the water. Call it literal or in some kind of symbolism, the message is clear. Aqua is getting saved from the darkness that over takes her before the prophecy comes to fruition. Her chances of being a Guardian are at 85%.

Ventus

Serving as the story’s current damsel in distress, Ventus has no active agency toward his fate and is at the mercy of Sora and Aqua’s success and the forces against them. We know that Vanitas shows interest and is present before his sleeping body in the TGS trailer. While you can’t say he’s won outright he does beat everyone to him in some form, but this is easily a boss fight set up. The thing about boss fights is that game determined success does not translate to story success. This becomes less of an issue as we see a picture of Sora before Ventus Station of Awakening which all but confirms that Ventus is waking up. Barring some last minute hijack or tragedy, he’s a potential shoe in for the Guardians. His chances are at 73%.

Roxas

He seems to be the primary rescue attempt presented during the trailers, with a clear sub-plot dealing with his data in the virtual Twilight Town. We can see from the last teasing shot that there is some kind of success in resurrecting him, but the question comes from if he’ll be on the side of the Lights. I’ve talked about this in an ask about Roxas’ norting chances  and I stick by it for the most part. He’s got a ton of potential toward the bad side considering the trailer framing and a decent foundation for darkness, but the progression of his resurrection and the chances of different character getting that honor brings down his chances. As such, I put Roxas at a tentative 60% Guardian of Light.

Xion

As stated before there’s no one actively seeking her rescue but the idea of her being inadvertently rescued or the motivation rising later still stands in the realm of possibility. We get an idea from the orchestra snippets, the canon quotes from the leaflet promotion, and the potential context from that clip of him crying that Lea is poised to start remembering her in some form. Thus him wanting and aiming to save her could come to a realization. At this point it’s not terribly strong nor are there any clear leads at what could bring her resurrection. So her chances are at 25% for being a Guardian of Light.

Terra

Terra’s tricky because no one knows where he is. The result of Xehanort’s reformation has us wondering if Terra’s back to his normal self as well, which I might assume if Xehanort wasn’t so vague about harboring him in DDD and a brief image of Terranort wasn’t seen in the TGS trailer... But even so I think we can’t immediately come to the conclusion that he’s been compromised by the darkness. Bluffing is a thing... and while I seem to take trailers as law in this analysis what we got was extremely lacking context. Furthermore, I would say that we can’t be sure that all pieces of Terra’s being were available for re-assemblage at the destruction of Xemnas and Ansem-- namely, the “Terra’s Heartless is the Guardian” theory could very well be true, potentially putting his heart in Riku’s path (a la Ansem’s possession of Riku and the resulting lingering darkness dealt with in COM could belong in part to Terra)... but we also must consider the Lingering Will possessing Terra’s Soul. And in that case, there has been no catalyst to release that aspect of Terra’s being toward the reforming needed to revive him.

So taking this uncertainty as true and calling Xehanort on the potential bluff he has about Terra (which may be a nonissue if he’s referring to Aqua at the time)-- the heroes would still have to put him together somehow or find him. This still has a chance of happening and could in fact be a major trump card against Xehanort’s big gambit. I think this could be vital in outsmarting this plan but that’s for another analysis. The chances of this happening are low, but just unexpected enough to be worth consideration. I put Terra’s Guardianship chances at 30%.

So What’s the Shake Up?

While it’s anyone’s guess who outside the active players is getting in, it’s worth understanding that even those in the “confirmed” category are not safe. This is where the real shake up happens, both opening up more spots and making use of the cast of rescuees. We can almost guarantee something is going to mess up the intended count on the Light side (and even more so with the New Organization’s numbers)-- how that takes form and who it shall take is the question.

How--

Any of the confirmed subjects can be incapacitated in some way, kidnapped, cast away, god-forbid killed for real (which I don’t see happening at all but the point is made)-- as long as it prevents them from being present on the side of the light when the prophecy comes to pass. Of course we have another method of removal and that comes in ‘nortification’ (I still can’t believe it’s a verb). Unconfirmed characters being norted are always a possibility and there’s a good chance of these active players getting stolen from the roster by Xehanort to add to his. While I believe there may be unforeseen variables in regards to the actual prophecy, I’ll focus on the main means of removal.

Who--

Knowing what can potentially take the existing members out of the running, it really narrows down the possibilities. Kairi, Riku, and Mickey are safe from ‘norting because of lore logic and cold hard Disney image preservation respectively. This doesn’t exclude the other means of take out so they all roughly find themselves on equal footing, their potential to be taken off the roster lying under 25% each.

So naturally the only existing Lights in danger of the most potent fate are Lea and Sora.

Lea has his subplot with Isa to consider. The sake of drama could lend itself to a sacrifice or being bested before the prophecy comes to pass. My imagination goes towards Lea swapping ‘norting places with Isa to save him, but that’s ultimately countered by his strong sense of justice and the other factors (i.e. Roxas) motivating him against the Darkness (it’d also be clumsy because he’s already a reformed bad guy). Still the plot with Isa seems to be chugging forward as seen with the trailer clips with him encountering his old friend on the clock tower among other possibilities. This does mean that things are moving and could result in an unfortunate outcome, more so than the lore-safe characters. Potential for Lea to get taken out of the running-- 40%.

Sora got a million red flags. The chances of him being taken out from Nortification alone are exponentially higher than the other characters and I talk about it in that same ask about Roxas, this taking into account the content in the trailers, the circumstantial evidence, and the narrative hints toward this fate.  I would only adjust my 81% norting chance to a 71% only because I think one has to account the probability of something other than norting to take him out. I would say there’s a 15% chance something unforeseen takes him out of the running which I will elaborate on with the final 14% being Sora on the side of Lights. Final Verdict? 86% chance Sora’s not going to be a Light.

Line the pieces up

So reviewing all these possibilities while understanding that there are still many unforeseen variables, makes finding the final outcome to be interesting to say the least. Logic has it that our current 2 seat vacancy will increase to a 3 seat vacancy and this filled by the 3 clearly intended rescuees.This puts a logical roster at:

Mickey, Riku, Kairi, Lea, Roxas, Ventus, and Aqua.

Roxas could end up taking the helm in Sora’s place, aligning with the ‘big secret’ buzz surrounding his involvement. The efforts of the game will be to fill the 2 spots and unknowingly find Sora’s replacement, making no plot line a ‘waste’.

Even so, I could definitely see a shake up of even this scenario take Lea out of the running as well-- or perhaps we Shoo Out The Clowns by tying Mickey up in a different and equally important sub-plot to make room for a surprise Terra. For the record, a big last minute show of heroics on the side of the Light would be a very desirable twist with all the villainous wins we are foreseeing. This isn’t an outright endorsement of Soranort, because I ultimately believe we will have multiple layers of subversion happening but I really think Sora’s got a good chance of not getting on the roster. 

Now that we’ve got the Heroes chances accounted for, it’s time to delve into the New Organization in Part 2 of this analysis.

[vestedbeauty]

Midlife Woman Discovers the Trees Are Still Green on Life's Detours

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/midlife-woman-discovers-the-trees-are-still-green-on-lifes-detours/

Midlife Woman Discovers the Trees Are Still Green on Life's Detours

Puzzled by your own life’s detours? This lady has a gift for you.

Young women make plans. Older women do, too. But we know that even if the plans we made as young women mostly played out, the path from here to there took some twists. Even more, we know that sometimes life’s detours gave us a better view than we ever imagined. Teresa unwrapped a surprising gift in midlife – and she’ll share it with you.

Peace and Quiet in a Small Minnesota Town

Follow her gaze, and you’ll feel your stress melt away. Leaves on the trees fluttering in a gentle breeze. Frogs croak in the tall grass rimming the nearby pond. Her napping dog sighs and snores, the model of contentment.

It wasn’t always like this. There were days, even years when Teresa’s path looked like it was descending into hell instead of anything resembling this idyllic scene. When we first met, this destination wasn’t even a dream yet. 

A lifetime ago, I’d written a book and created a course for moms who wanted to stay home and get paid to write. To test out whether my strategy would work as well for others as it had for me, I posted on WAHM.com, an old-school bulletin board. I offered the course free. Despite that price tag, the responses to my offer ranged from silence to downright ugliness. However, Teresa jumped in with both feet. She says I taught her everything she needed to get going and build a business that fed her family for years.

But running a successful business doesn’t mean life suddenly turns sunny every day. It doesn’t undo the damage we sustained beforehand. And it certainly doesn’t mean we suddenly know how to love ourselves – or others.

“This is who I am, with all my flaws, faults, weirdness, and crazy path. And it’s okay.”

Here’s the story of how this 58-year-old gave herself – and everyone around her – the best gift ever.

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

Teresa says one part of my book really shook her. It was the part where I talked about being bold enough to ask for what you want from your business… and your life.

Honestly, answering, “What do you want?” is pretty tough for many people. I’ve seen people paralyzed by pondering that question. Ask a kid, and you’ll get an answer immediately. Ask an adult, and they’re likely to go into a tailspin. We want a list of available options to choose from so we can answer. 

Of course, it’s a lot easier to rattle off all the things we don’t want.

That’s not a bad thing. It just takes a little thoughtful reverse engineering to turn a “don’t want” list into a more resourceful line of thought.

But that’s not what many people do. They recite the list of what they don’t want, noting where life’s detours have left them hurt, dissatisfied, and feeling like a burned pile of ashes. 

Teresa used that question to create a beautiful life. Not an uncomplicated one, but one that echoes her favorite advice: “It all works out.”

No Stranger to Tragedy and Pain

Teresa’s early childhood looked like any random family in the 1960’s and ’70’s. Remember those days? You’d go outside to play. Mom might even lock the door behind you, and you wouldn’t come home until the street lights came on. She and her five siblings fought, played, and loved each other. Nobody had any hint that everything was about to change.

When she turned nine, her family was in a car accident that killed her mom, a brother, and a sister. Teresa, her dad, and one sister spent a long time recovering in the hospital. After leaving the hospital, it seemed like everyone expected her to just go on with her life.

This was 1972. Counseling wasn’t really a thing. 

Her family was Catholic. The response she most often got in her grief was, “Well, it’s God’s will.” Can you imagine anything more horrible you could tell a child in this situation? “Half your family got killed because God wanted it that way.” 

Deep in his grief and desperate to take care of his surviving children, Teresa’s dad remarried quickly. His new wife instantly became the stepmom to four grieving children. They moved frequently. They did their best to right a life that had turned upside down. Where Teresa’s mom had been all cookies and ice cream, her stepmom was strict – a caretaker who did her best but who found herself in a story gone off the rails.

They also adopted an unspoken rule: “Don’t talk to Dad about it.”

With today’s broader understanding of how humans work, you might be thinking that’s a great way to raise a whole family of alcoholics. And you’d be right.

No writer is complete without a good dog.

The Troubled Years You’d Expect

Teresa says her teenage years were a nightmare, at least from the perspective of a parent. She partied and ran around with boys, grasping at what looked like happiness like her life depended on it.

She got pregnant with her first child. Her landlord sexually abused Teresa, disintegrating any fragile feelings of trust she’d managed to salvage. Teresa began to drink heavily after her daughter was born.

Eleven years later, she had her second daughter and got sober. She’d hired a babysitter to care for her girls while she worked. It turned out that her babysitter’s husband was a pastor. Old-fashioned, wearing homemade dresses, and baking bread from scratch, this woman brought a sense of comfort and safety, a throwback to the distant past. Teresa went through a born-again Christian experience, which set the foundation for her life from then on. She went to Alcoholics Anonymous. She went to church. Life was good.

Eventually, a man came along who swept her off her feet. They married, and Teresa thought maybe life’s detours had come to an end. Perhaps she’d finally found what she always wanted. 

“This is my first wife’s grave.”

Standing in the cemetery on her wedding night, Teresa realized she’d made a horrible mistake. Her groom had just revealed a secret – that in a fit of PTSD-induced rage, he’d shot and killed his first wife. She was wife #5, and she soon discovered that her husband was an abuser on a mission to isolate her from everyone she loved.

“I married a crazy person,” Teresa says. The marriage lasted a total of six months, from the wedding day to divorce. During those six months, Teresa and her girls survived constant abuse and gaslighting. Her husband even managed to have Teresa’s youngest committed to a mental hospital while she was a second-grader… over Christmas vacation.

Breaking free from him was both terrifying and absolutely critical. Teresa began putting the pieces of her life together again.

And then her daughter got pregnant at 16. Teresa was a 35-year-old grandmother. An unexpected blessing, but Teresa loved her grandbaby beyond imagination. “There’s something about a grandchild that’s so different from your own child. This child was my whole world,” she says.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Fast-forward to 2009. Teresa had moved to Minnesota and become active in her church. She even acted in a play her church produced, cast as the wife of a man she’d come to have feelings for. Al was nothing like anyone Teresa had ever dated. He’s a wonderfully kind man, short of stature but tall in character. Not classically handsome, and certainly not the bad boy she’d typically found attractive, Al was just a sweet and devout guy. Knowing he was traditional and a bit old-fashioned, Teresa waited for him to make the first move, which wasn’t easy. But eventually, they married.

If you’re waiting for Al to turn into Mr. Hyde, you’ve been paying attention. Relax. It doesn’t happen!

However, more of life’s detours were in store. Soon after their wedding, Al needed surgery. Then Teresa had a bad pap smear that led to a hysterectomy and a mountain of medical bills – all within four months of their wedding. She also has fibromyalgia, and her body went crazy after the surgery. Where she’d once been energetic and engaged, she became listless and drained. Her social life evaporated.

Not long afterward, one of her grandchildren came out as transgender. While this revelation could shake a family anywhere, living where they do, “this was not okay.” Teresa felt confused, distressed, lost.

Her daughter had been reluctant to talk about it. She’d worried that Teresa and Al would beat them over the head with the Bible. However, her grandchild was more than ready. 

Just Love Her. Just Love Them. Just Love Him.

Teresa prayed and prayed. “God, how do I do this?” God’s answer was clear. “Just love her.” 

As time went on and Teresa started to adjust to this twist, the message changed. “Just love them,” she heard. And then finally, it changed again to, “Just love him.”

One day as Teresa scrolled through Facebook, she saw that her grandchild had a new profile picture and a new name. That’s when it became really real.

“Ask me whatever you want. Say whatever you want to say,” her grandchild told her. Teresa marveled at how well her grandchild was handling it all. “Watching this kid deal with the time it took for his loved ones to get onboard was astonishing,” she says.

A year later, though, as many transgender people do, her grandson was really struggling. He’d dropped out of school and was suicidal. He started going to Teresa’s house during the day to do his schoolwork online. They spent a lot of time together. Teresa’s one goal was to let him know she was on his side no matter what.

Unconditional Love Wins, Even Along Life’s Detours

Some might struggle to reconcile living as an evangelical Christian with fully embracing a trans person. But for Teresa, there was no way she’d have anything but love and compassion for her grandchild. 

She stopped going to church, which caused some challenges in her marriage. After all, their shared faith was the foundation of their marriage, which was changing for Teresa. She battled a lingering sense of fear that this plot twist would wreck her whole life. 

Al had a hard time with it all at first. Teresa describes him as a rule follower, not a rebellious person in any way. “But every single day, he prays in the morning for our family, marriage, and all the grandkids,” she says.

When Kameron turned 18, he went to court to change his name and gender on his driver’s license. He didn’t go alone. Instead, he sat surrounded by his family as witnesses. Al and Teresa united to support him. Teresa says, “From the day Kam’s name change became official, Al’s never used the birth name again. This guy can be a rule follower – it works for him. But he can also accept the fact that I’m not, and we can be okay. That’s when I started having more peace again.”

Teresa puts it beautifully:

“It’s not about tolerance. I’m not about to just tolerate this kid. I love him with my whole heart.”

Life’s Detours Make for Unimaginable Beauty

It was a rough go for a long time for Teresa. Looking back, life was certainly not the smooth ride any child might expect. Even the past decade had some of the toughest times she’d seen. In battling health and financial challenges and emotional upheaval, Teresa went through a debilitating depression that isolated her. She’d found it too hard to focus on her writing, and she felt like she’d destroyed her career.

But her story of life’s detours is one of resilience. She says:

“Even when your dreams don’t pan out the way you plan, misery is a choice. Even when circumstances are tough – and that can make clinical depression worse – it’s up to you to take care of yourself and say, “You know what? Look around. I have a beautiful home, a beautiful yard and trees and a pond I can see, and my family and grandkids.

It all works out. You hit that place where it’s all okay. Even along life’s detours, the trees are just as green. Don’t stop looking for what you really want until you find it. No matter what it is.”

Teresa has become an advocate for LGBTQ people, and you can read more about her story on Medium, and find support on her new Facebook page, Call Your Mama T.

[paulagnewart]

Super Sonic Storytelling Special: Act 1

To say it's been a while would definitely be an understatement. Nearly 3 years in fact since I last updated a particularly long fanfiction, and just about 2 years since I wrote (or co-wrote) anything remotely related to this franchise.

The delay was never intended to be this bad. A number of factors got in the way; poor health, change of jobs, trips to BotCon and back, the reboot (and subsequent cancellation) of the material, and some pretty disparaging comments from a certain source I don't feel comfortable talking about these days. It siphoned away any interest remaining, resulting in this hiatus and personal pondering whether I had potential to produce something, anything, of value.

From a creative standpoint, I was dead inside. That changed about 2 months ago when I stumbled across a server dedicated to, of all things, DC's Teen Titans franchise. They had a roleplay channel looking for people, so with a metaphorical crack of the fingers, I wrote a short character piece about a member of the team. People actually liked it (somehow) and were interested in seeing more. So they got more. And more.

This helped reinvigorate my passion for writing, and thus I assisted them with advice and words of encouragement for their stories. It was rewarding in a way, seeing them grow and develop their own skills. During this period, I recalled the older stories I wrote (and left hanging), wondering if perhaps revisiting them was a good idea.

Which brings us to here and now. The beginning of a new story featuring the adventures of that bloody blue Hedgehog. To be more accurate, it doesn't revolve around him exactly, but he is a key player later on. It's also worth mentioning the story does take place around and during events from the dearly departed Archie comics. Expect a few callbacks along the way.

The prologue is available below, while subsequent chapters will be posted on a certain Sonic forum many of you know. They'll also be uploaded to my website at a later date. Or, if there is anyone truly interested, I may even post them here. Maybe.

Have a read-through if you want, and let me know how it went. And especially whether and of you Archie aficionados saw THAT coming at the end. No peeking. :P

Oh! And one more thing. Providing I'm not busy or don't keel over soon, there will be updates EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. That's right, as a certified glutton for punishment, Hedgehog action will happen throughout the entirety of December. Yay?

==Ancient Awakening==

We are everything, yet nothing. Everywhere, yet nowhere. Everyone, yet without an identity.

For as long as Mobius has been, we have. Spanning from the early days of the forgotten wars, we observed life come and go. A world in constant change, yet each lifeform retained the same desire to subvert the other. We considered and reconsidered whether revealing our presence to these barbarians would prove beneficial. Our power was beyond their feeble comprehension. Should we be utilised as a force of order and law?

Or a force of chaos?

Ultimately we decided that neither option proved of value. They were not ready for us. Only when a truly unique individual crossed our path would we reveal our presence. It would be a lengthy wait, but to us, time is irrelevant.

As we had foreseen, that individual eventually arrived. A tall, revered Mobian male of mammal origins. As a father of two, he had witnessed both great tragedy and great happiness in his life. A perfect balance. We were… intrigued. We had furthermore expected him to be apprehensive upon our meeting, but he gradually warmed to this crossing of paths. He shared much of contemporary Mobius with us, and we in return offered glimpses of what could (or would not) be.

With all things, he too succumbed to the natural forces of life. Yet before his death, he shared our existence to his offspring. We saw potential in one-another, and it wasn’t long before a sacred union between us was forged. This proved the beginning of a bond that has endured for centuries, as we devoted our existence solely to this proud line of male guardians.

All that changed with the current generation, as their family welcomed its latest heir- a daughter. Her being was unexpected. We had not foreseen this, a rogue element somehow overlooked despite our omnipotence. We accepted her nonetheless, and watched the young Mobian mature during great times of hardship. She was growing fast. Perhaps too fast for our liking. Not that she had a choice though; when the planet was in the metallic mandible of a madman, maturity was paramount. She fought tooth and claw to survive, and at the cusp of her fifteenth year on this world, earned her victory.

Life gradually eased. Her previously-corrupted father was restored to his former self, bringing with it the next step of our most sacred of traditions. In order to complete her rite of passage, the teenager was ordered to become one with us. Once more the freedom of choice was out of her paws. She had to, no, would fulfil her destiny…

…But she rejected us. A youth spent in hardship not only made her strong, but furthermore stubborn. She declared us not part of her life, refusing to accept everything we had offered. Her fate was her own, and saw no desire to witness the future we presented. Once more we had been blindsided.

How could this possibly be? Why did we not see this coming? We serve only to guide the bloodline, working as one to create the optimum outcome. Some would call it symbiotic at best, or even possessive at worst. Good? Evil? They are but foreign concepts. Means to an entitled end. Nothing more.

And yet… we pause to wonder.

She had forsaken us. The first in her family to outright refuse completion of the metamorphosis. She had… no right to abandon her duty. If only she had accepted the inevitable, today would be different. We would not be here, hidden deep within the farthest depths of Mobius, our connection to the outside world all but lost. Her home would still stand. Her family would be alive and well. Her love would be… someone else. Someone far, far greater and unequivocally worthy of her body and mind.

If she has no further use for us, what purpose do we serve? We.. wait, is this…feelings? Yes, despite her refusal to amalgamate with us, we retained a subconscious bond. We studied her emotions first-hand. Fear and Courage. Love and Hate. We must know more. Not since her ancestor had a member of this bloodline intrigued us. She was truly special, and we had to have h… feelings again… a maelstrom of them. Friendship. Affection. Lust. Obsession.   Love. Power. Control…

…Domination.

If she would not accept us by choice, then she will by force. Her will can be crushed. Her ideal future erased, replaced by one better suited. One forged by us. If… no, she will definitely refuse. No matter. It will make things… fun…

We have reached a decision.

The future we have designated will come to pass.

Sally Acorn will be ours…

[ruminativerabbi]

Being Who We Are and Aren’t

What is Jewishness exactly? We talk about it regularly as though it were a heritable genetic trait of some sort, one that—for some reason—is solely passed down from mothers to their children. Indeed, even when people argue the point and try to make a case for patrilineality as a valid determinant of Jewishness, they are merely arguing along the same lines and insisting that “it,” whatever “it” actually is, can be passed along by men to their offspring as well. Of course, the fact that conversion is permitted seriously undermines the genetic argument: if we’re talking about something akin to DNA that you either do or don’t have, how can any behavioral or attitudinal factor override not having it? But, it turns out, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t any a genetic component to membership in the House of Israel…and therein hangs an interesting tale.

I read a remarkable story in the Washington Post last July about an Irish-American woman from Chicago, one Alice Plebuch, who took one of the various “just-for-fun” DNA tests available on the market because she wished to learn more about her father, who had died many years earlier, and about her father’s family. (You can read the article by clicking here. You can also visit the websites of three of the larger companies that offer this kind of service to the public by clicking here, here, and here.) The results, however, were not at all what she expected: about half her DNA results confirmed what she already knew about her descent from people who hailed from various regions within the British Isles, including Ireland, but the other half pointed to a combination of Eastern European Jewish and Middle Eastern ancestry. One of her parents was apparently not as Irish as she thought…but which one? That was what she now felt herself obliged to find out.

There were, of course, lots of possible explanations for the unexpected test results. One set of her grandparents could have been Jews from Eastern Europe who so totally shed their previous identity upon arriving in Ireland that just a generation later there was no trace at all of it, and no recollection on the part of anyone at all that they had ever been anything other than “just” Irish. Alternately, one of her grandmothers could possibly have had an extra-marital affair and then simply allowed her husband to presume that he was the father of the child she subsequently bore. That, however, would have led to a quarter of her DNA being labelled as Jewish, not half. Could both her grandmothers have had affairs with Jewish men? Imagining such a thing about one of her grandmothers was hard enough, but about both felt wholly impossible. There had to be other some other plausible explanation!

Plebuch talked her brother into being tested, plus one cousin on her mother’s side of the family and another on her father’s side. Her test and her brother’s yielded the expected result indicating that their mother and father had to have been the same people. But the tests involving the cousins yielded one interesting piece of data and another that was truly confounding. The interesting information came from a comparison of the two cousins’ results and made it clear that the Jewish component in Alice Plebuch’s DNA came from her father’s side of the family. That was what she suspected anyway, but a far more amazing piece of information than that came from a comparison of her own DNA with that of one of her cousins, the son of her father’s sister, which effort yielded the categorical result that they had no blood relationship at all! In other words, reading her own DNA results against her cousin’s yielded the conclusion that her father and his sister were unrelated by blood.

I won’t describe the rest of the story in detail—although I really do recommend that Washington Post article as riveting reading—but the short version is that, after a lot of very detailed sleuthing, Alice Plebuch was able to conclude categorically that her father and another baby were switched at birth, or shortly after birth, at Fordham Hospital in the Bronx where they were both born on the same day of February in 1913. And she somehow managed to identify that other baby and to find his still-living daughter too, whom she felt honor-bound to inform that her father was an Irish Catholic at birth who was simply raised as a Jew by the Jewish people he came to know as his father and mother, neither of whom had any idea that they had brought home the wrong baby.

It sounds like the plot of a made-for-television movie—and not even that believable a one at that. And there surely are a lot of obvious questions to ask about how such a thing could ever occur in real life and who, if anyone, should be held accountable after all this time. But the question that the story raises that matters to me personally has to do with the nature of identity. The Irish Catholic baby brought home by a Jewish family turned into Philip Benson and was raised as a Jewish boy in a Jewish home, then grew up to become what any of us would call a Jewish man. Was he “really” Jim Collins, as the Jewish baby brought home by Irish Catholic parents and raised in their faith was known to the world? Was Jim Collins, the man Alice Plebuch knew as her father, “really” Philip Benson? Were both their lives essentially lies lived out against backgrounds that neither recognized as false but which were, historically and genetically, wholly untrue? Were they both essentially phantoms, men who were neither who they were or who they weren’t? It’s hard even to say what those questions mean, let alone to answer them cogently. Since there’s no reason to think that, had Alice’s grandparents brought the correct baby home from the hospital, that he would eventually have become would have ended up marrying Alice’s mother, Alice Plebuch’s very existence seems predicated on a mix-up that any normal person, other than her husband and her children and all her friends, would easily label a tragedy. Does that make her existence tragic? It’s sounds vaguely right to say that, but I’m not sure I could look her in the eye while I was saying it.

We all believe, or I think we do, that there are character traits that inhere in the shared genetic heritage of any recognizable group. Such talk often veers into tastelessness bordering on prejudice when we “assign” qualities, and usually negative ones, to people based on their race or ethnicity.  But does that mean that there are no shared traits that the members of groups with a common genetic heritage all share? (And, if that is the case, then why should those shared traits be uniformly positive? Surely negative traits can also be shared!) But what is the precise boundary between identity and shared heritage, between the autonomy of the individual and the shared genetic heritage that inheres in that individual’s DNA? Surely, both concepts impinge upon each other. But in what specific way and to what precise extent—that is a far thornier riddle to solve.

From a Jewish perspective, the issue is even more complicated. The man the world knew as Jim Collins was born to a Jewish mother and so was, according to all Jewish authorities, a Jewish baby. The Talmud has a name for a child who is spirited away from his parents at birth, or shortly after birth, and raised without reference to his “actual” heritage: this is the famous tinok she-nishba of talmudic lore. Nor is this treated as a merely theoretical issue: the Talmud goes into considerable detail with respect to the specific laws that apply to such a Jewish individual raised in total ignorance of his or her Jewishness. Most of those discussions revolve around intricacies of halakhic obligation when a particular infraction is repeated over and over in the course of years or even decades by a Jewish individual who, unaware of his or her Jewishness, has no inkling that some specific deed is forbidden to him or her by the Torah. Such a person is technically a sinner, but our sages understood easily how wrong it would be seriously to attach that label to someone whose sins are completely inadvertent and who lacks even an inkling of his or her real status as a Jewish individual. The debates are interesting. But there is no debate at all about the Jewishness of the tinok she-nishba, just about the specific way the law should apply to such a person.

Was Jim Collins a tinok she-nishba? Labelling him that way would seem to oblige us to consider Philip Benson a non-Jew. When viewed dispassionately, that sounds almost reasonable, particularly since any rabbi could “solve” his predicament easily enough with a trip to the mikveh, a visit to the bet-din, and a few minutes with a mohel. But let’s imagine that the truth about Philip Benson never came out. Would we really consider it a tragedy for a man raised as a Jew from birth, circumcised on the eighth day of his life, provided throughout his childhood and adolescence with a Jewish education, the husband of a Jewish woman and the father of Jewish children—would it truly be a disaster if the truth about his “real” parentage never came out? Part of me thinks it would be. But another part can’t quite embrace that level of ex post facto harshness.

Most of the time, it’s probably wisest just to allow people to be whom they appear to be. Mostly, we already do this. When I walk into the Kotel plaza in Yerushalayim and join a minyan for Minchah, no one asks me if I am really a Jew, much less if I am really a man! I look like a man, so that’s good enough for them. I apparently look like a member of the House of Israel too…and that too is good enough even for the guys who hang out at the wall wearing their giant black hats. (I don’t push it, however, by also self-identifying as a Conservative rabbi.) Ultimately, we are all Jews by self-definition…and that, really, has to be the bottom line. Sometimes, real wisdom lies in stepping away from the fine print and being content just to read what people possessed of normal eyesight can see, and then leaving it at that.

Should I buy one of those DNA test kits and find out where my people really come from? I haven’t decided one way or the other. But if I do…I promise (maybe) to share the results with you in a subsequent letter.

[drinkthehalo]

Supernatural Season 12 - the Mary Winchester storyline

Of all the ridiculous things… I’ve fallen down the Supernatural rabbit hole.

Supernatural is the last fandom I’d have expected to sneak up on me. I stopped watching years ago and had been wishing that someone would put it out of its misery.

But then a few weeks ago, my friend mentioned that Sam and Dean’s mother was on the show as a regular character.  It piqued my curiosity.  A story that’s actually about the Winchester family, not the internal politics of Heaven or whatever random boring nonsense that caused me to stop watching?

So long story short - I was just in Shanghai (for the third time!) and when I wasn’t running around a dark hotel or drinking at a bar, I was waking up at 5am, jetlagged and half drunk, mainlining SPN. (Watching it in bed on my phone! Ha.)

To my complete shock, seasons 11 and 12 are GREAT. It's like the show took stock of everything it was doing wrong, remembered what had once made it awesome, and set about methodically fixing it.

If you are someone who also gave up on the show - watch 11x04 “Baby.��� It made me laugh, made me cry, made me literally want to hug my television. It was such a gift to the audience, and a promise to do better. Proof that the show can still be absolutely wonderful when it puts in the effort.

Also, Dean Winchester. He’s one of the best fictional characters I’ve ever seen; he's so fucked up and he's also the most lovable thing ever. His combination of strength, fragility, competence, darkness, sweetness, silliness… His heroism and idealism and fatalism and self-abnegation… His joie de vivre, suicidal impulses, bitterness, weariness, ridiculousness and awkwardness… His badassery and heroism and codependence and tragedy.

Such a complex beautiful mess. Narratively, he is the gift that keeps on giving, the reason the show has lasted twelve years - you can just keep throwing stories at him and you get the most fascinating results.

I will be writing more about SPN. Sorry if you’re just here for the immersive theatre posts!

Here are my thoughts on the Mary Winchester storyline, which I LOVED -

It’s a complex, messy, fascinating story, where nobody is completely right and nobody is completely wrong, and you can sympathize with every character. It brings the show right back to the core of what made it good and interesting.

The three key things I loved about it:

I was pleasantly surprised at how it subverted my expectations

Mary herself was relatable, interesting, complex, and her choices raised intriguing ethical questions

Mary’s presence provided an opportunity to dive into the psychology and issues of Dean (especially) and Sam in a way we haven’t seen before

As soon as I heard that Mary was back, I was simultaneously afraid of the ways it could go wrong, and deeply intrigued by the possibilities it raised.

The most interesting thing the show had going on in its early days was the complexity of the boys’ relationship with their father. The success of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s career was a tragedy for Supernatural - once he was gone it just never had the same emotional intensity, though they did interesting things with flashbacks and time travel and pseudo-father figures.

But Mary - Mary has that same intense emotional resonance. She was the first character we saw in the Pilot, Dean’s deepest wish (in arguably the best episode of the show, 2x20) and Dean’s Heaven (5x16), the key to Dean’s character.

"I know [my mother] wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave." - Dean from 1x03 - what an amazing through-line to a story still unfolding twelve years later!

But… Supernatural doesn’t have a great track record with female characters. The original sin of the show - the reason I’ve always been a bit ambivalent about loving it so much - is how it portrays women as symbols that matter only in relation to men. The Pilot is egregious. Mary and Jess, in their ridiculous frilly white nightgowns, dying as motivation for the men to embark on their quests. In Supernatural, men have journeys. Men are subjects, with destinies, and “work to do.”  Men are multi-dimensional characters. Women are objects (in the early seasons - it’s gotten way better recently). We barely know Mary and Jess as characters, and don’t need to. Their deaths are not even about them; they’re about what they do to Sam and Dean.

Usually when Mary reappears in the show, it’s as a symbol, the embodiment of the ideal of motherhood. The love, safety, and care that Dean longs for. (Sam, interestingly, does not long for Mary the same way, both because he doesn’t remember her and because he had Dean as his mother figure. I have always adored that parallel, that Dean is like Mary and Sam is like John, which so subverts our expectations of how they present their gender roles, tough guy Dean and sensitive Sam.)

So my fear of season twelve was that we’d still see Mary a symbol. And THANK GOD they were smart enough to completely subvert that expectation, and make the story ABOUT the fact that Mary is an individual human being, not an ideal personification of motherhood.

When we meet this version of Mary, her whole world has been taken from her. Her husband is dead, her small children are lost to her. Her friends are thirty years older, or dead. I love how the show handles Mary’s reaction to the ubiquity of smartphones. It’s not a joke about moms being bad at technology. It’s profoundly disconcerting. It’s sad and strange, especially for a person so smart and competent to suddenly be in a world where she lacks foundational knowledge - it’s almost like everyone else speaks another language.  She doesn’t fit.

So she tries to find her way. She’s a fully-realized person, just as conflicted and complex as Sam and Dean, with her own goals, flaws, fears, vulnerabilities. (And THANK GOD she’s tough, not in need of her childrens’ protection.) 

I imagine myself in her position - with these two well-meaning, overwhelming adult children tracking her every move - and I completely understand her need to break away and carve a space for herself. The pressure and weight of their expectation, on top of everything else she’s going through, would be overwhelming.

As with the best writing in Supernatural, Mary makes choices that are not entirely wrong and not entirely right. Her embrace of the British Men of Letters is driven by guilt that her deal with Azazel destroyed her childrens’ lives, and her own need create a purpose for her life in this strange new world, and a sincere belief that it really will make the world a better place. It’s the same kind of complex psychological motivations that would drive Sam or Dean. (I have a whole other post brewing about that storyline, and about the unique and brilliant way that Supernatural’s handles moral ambiguity.)

Mary’s reaction to her adult children was so unexpected, but so right. One of those character-deepening twists that make perfect sense in retrospect.

Mary struggles with Dean, and connects more with Sam. This is what I mean about Supernatural being great at subverting expectations - because we’ve spent the entire series knowing that Dean is the one most shaped by Mary - the one who remembers her, who dreams of her, who longs for her, who can’t even say her name without flinching. And Sam is the one who doesn’t remember her - who tells Dean in the Pilot “If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like.”

But it makes perfect sense. Sam, without the weight of a lifetime of expectations, treats Mary as an individual and tries to understand her needs. Dean struggles to see beyond what Mary means to him, and what he needs from her. Dean’s love is overwhelming, and suffocating.

There’s this great line in season twelve - I can’t remember where, but it’s when Sam and Dean are talking about the British Men of Letters, not quite agreeing or disagreeing, and Sam says something like “I know you think [whatever]” and Dean interrupts and says “WE think.” (Sorry, I need to rewatch and dig up the quote.) It’s borderline abusive, and it must be exhausting for Sam, to live with someone so overbearing that you’re not even allowed to have a different opinion.

The whole season deals with Dean’s abandonment complex - going right back to the heart of the Pilot, “I can’t do this alone.” Dean is so afraid of being abandoned that he clutches his loved ones way too closely.  We understand and sympathize because we know where it came from -  the death of his mother at four, the neglect from his father, twelve seasons of everyone he loves dying - but that doesn’t mean he would be easy to live with.

The line that kept running through my head when watching Dean this season is from Marilyn Manson - “When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.”

Mary’s return is an incredible opportunity for character exploration and character growth for Dean. In many ways Dean is emotionally stuck at the age of four, unable to move on from the loss of his mother. He’s finally forced to recognize that his perceptions from that time were a tiny sliver of the truth, a four year old’s limited view.  Maybe these dreams need to be destroyed. You can’t live your entire adult life longing for the cocoon you were in when you were four. (Or, I mean you can, you’d be Dean Winchester, but it’s not healthy.)

Dean needed his mother’s love AS A FOUR YEAR OLD, and it’s devastating that it was ripped away from him, but for his own sanity he needs to move on. I love that Mary flat out tells him that he’s not a child anymore. He needs to hear it.

The other side of the story is Dean’s perspective, which is incredibly sympathetic. Supernatural does a brilliant job telling a complex story where no one is entirely right or wrong. Dean tries so hard. He knows he’s weird and socially awkward. He doesn’t want to scare Mary away. He wants so desperately for their relationship to work. The scenes of him angsting over what to text her are some of my favorite moments ever in the show. It’s so surreal and yet so truthful.

And I have to admit - as much as I loved Mary NOT functioning as stereotypical mother figure - I also LOVED when she finally found out how tragic the boys’ childhood was. It was completely cathartic for me as an audience member. Those boys went through more than any child should have to bear. Dean is so scarred by it, and he’s this amazing person so full of love and compassion and this beautiful vibrant light that has been twisted by these awful experiences he’s been through, and the audience has been watching him suffer for twelve years, longing for the equivalent of his mom to give him a hug.  (Just look at the bazillions of hurt/comfort fanfics.) The emotional payoff of that validation finally happening from his actual mother is enormous. Intense, and it would be indulgent if it wasn’t so EARNED.

I love that in their big conversation at the end of the season, Dean phrases it as all about what SAM went through.  Of course the entire audience is watching that scene going BUT DEAN. It’s Dean that Mary saves. It’s actually all about him, but he’d never say it.  Brilliant writing.

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x15 The Power of Madonna

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x15 The Power of Madonna heeee, Sue just referenced Desperately Seeking Susan. Man, I loved that movie as a kid. Who’s That Girl as well anybody remember that one?!

hahaha, how have I never noticed before that Quinn is drawing a picture of Rachel Berry…a very unflattering picture that says “LOSER”? Awesome.

hahaha. Jesse and Rachel ‘hypothetically’ went to a Wiggles concert. Seriously, he’s kinda perfect for her.

Aw – The Montage from A Chorus Line is playing under Jesse’s pressure-her-into-sex moment. I have such fond memories of that song. I was featured in this song for a show that ended up changing the course of my entire life, quite literally. :)

“Would you please stop talking? You’re grossing out my baby.”

“But I can’t wait to get a guy mad at me for saying ‘no’.” Bite your tongue, Mercedes. Also…be careful what you wish for.

Still creeps me out that they have this whole sex talk with Mr. Schue in the room. And that he eavesdrops. And that when he speaks up it’s to ask if they’re having that much ‘guy trouble’, not to actually be a good teacher and help Rachel out in her “my boyfriend’s pressuring me to have sex but I’m not ready” situation or to respond to Britany and Santana’s advice to just never say no and that they should have more self-respect…teacher of the year indeed.

Do women really still earn 70 cents to every dollar a man does for the same job? Oh, eff that!

More Emma pamphlets:                HELP! I’m in love with my stepdad!                I still breastfeed …but how old is too old?                Congratulations, you’re pregnant.                Proper Wiping: Easy as 1…2…3                …and something about Toxic Shock Syndrome and Asperger’s that I                can’t read, lol.

Ugh, douche. Will just said this area of expertise (sex) is Emma’s blindspot. Jerk.

So Glee seems to have a knack for insulting folks that will later be guest stars. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Stamos have been mentioned thus far, and Lindsay Lohan just made the list. Hmmm…

I love the Ann Coultier jab. Cause I despise that ‘woman’

Ray of Light routine on stilts. Still leaves me speechless.  My favorite part is still when the men on stilts do these assisted lifts with women who are not. They get them so effing high.  It’s just amazing.

“Somehere on the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping.”

“Hall of fame MILF”

HA! Artie’s look in response to Tina giving him side-eye. Too funny.

Finn has no idea what misogynistic means. #BlessFinnsHeart

Kurt is gonna do a video of Madonna’s styles. With Mercedes. Kurtcedes love. :)

Yeah, I find it hard to believe high school boys wouldn’t be rubbin’ one out at these girls in corsets, touchin’ themselves and bein’ a little S&M with one another. Even if they hate Madonna with a passion. Their disinterest is completely unrealistic.

Britany has a (younger presumably as she plays soccer with a 7 year old) sister. Forgot about that. I think RIB did too.

The way to get a man forever is to take his virginity? Really? I would think that would unleash him into a sexual awakening and sleeping with everything he could now that he wouldn’t be perceived as ‘lame’ or a loser or whatever for being a virgin…no?

Finnocence. Nice.

Can we acknowledge that Finn lost his virginity in a plot for Santana to snag a younger man (by what, 4 days I think she said?) to emulate Madonna per Sue and not get kicked off the Cheerios? That’s…just so sad.

“You’re about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid.” – ha!

So…watching this post-Nationals, does Emma get to have Madonna playing in her office now? ;)

Finn’s pissed that Rachel lied to him and didn’t really break it off with Jesse. Evs. Mind ya business, Finn.

So because he’s jealous or his ego is hurt or whatever, Finn tells Rachel if her and Jesse leads to something bad for the entire Glee club not to expect anymore friendship from him. Um…yeah. I’d marry him a year or two later. Cause…clearly he’ll be there through rough times…douche. Selfish, childish douche.

I still really like this mash-up of Borderline/Open Your Heart. And as much as I don’t love Finchel, the angst in this is my cup o’ tea. I like it.

I do love all the Madonna shout-outs in the hallway. Makes me feel old that I recognize each of these looks. Oy.

Finn, why are you just randomnly tearing books from the shelves and knocking them to the floor as you walk through the library? Such a badass…

I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Brad was the piano player for one of Emily Gilmore’s parties (I think Rory’s college grad party). Hilarious. Also, he looked EXACTLY the same. How long ago was that?!

I find it awesome that Mercedes has a picture of a gal from So You Think You Can Dance in her locker. I love that show.

Up With People rejects. Ha.

Hmm. Will is suddenly not intimidated at all by Sue and her quips. What brought that on? Although, it’s hot when he stands up to her. Until he makes fun of her hair. Then he seems like a jerk.

“Oh, snap!” I love this moment. And the gif that came out of it.

Birth moment of the Sue, Kurt, Mercedes dynamic right there. Yay. :)

Sue just told Kurt and Mercedes about her sister being handicapped. I don’t care what anyone says, she likes them, even just a little bit. And I love this dynamic of the three of them. It always makes me smile.

Hahaha – Kurt’s reaction to Sue not being able to keep up with the latest looks when she was younger. Hilarious.

“Mercedes is black. I’m gay. We make culture.”

“I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting because only he can express my melonchalia.”

“You deserve epic romance.” Listen. Looking back from the end of Season 3, I really am not understanding why I’m supposed to want Rachel with Finn. Jesse makes so much more sense.

“Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.” Oh Emma. A for effort.

Vogue. Man. I was so little when this came out. I remember when it premiered on MTV.

Jane Lynch has such long legs. I’m jealous.

“Will Schuester. I hate you.”

Like A Virgin still makes me really uncomfortable. For so many reasons. I just…don’t need to see this side of any of these characters. I feel like a voyeur.

How did Santana and Finn swing a motel room at 15 years old? Hmm….

Add Whoopi to that list of joked about future guest stars. Yeesh…that’s 5 now? 4? Stamos, Paltrow, Lohan and Goldberg.

Sue is gonna reinvent Kurt and Mercedes. Squee!

Why is Rachel looking at sheet music for Where Is Love? Cause 1. I hate that song, 2. I hate that show, and 3. shoutout to the pilot?

Finn just asked Rachel how her date with Jesse went. With the subtext of “did you sleep with him?” WHY are they even talking about this? I don’t get it. It’s private Finn, so rude you’d even ask. Also, how does he even know they are even close to sex? I missed something. This is so weird. Made even more weird that neither of them seems to think it’s weird that they’re having this conversation. Ugh.

“Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.” Jesse is ridiculously perfect for Rachel Berry.

Okay, I’m gonna rant for a second: I know I’m anal and put him on a pedestal and all, but S3, they make it sound like Sam had sex with one of his clients at the strip club; after they’ve shoved super-romantic in-love-with-Mercedes Sam at us for like, 9 episodes in a row over a span of like, 3 or 4 months; regardless of how I personally feel about that or that ship, right now we see a super uncomfortable scene that still breaks my heart where Finn is dealing with the aftermath of sleeping with Santana, when he has feelings for someone else, but more in that he doesn’t have feelings for her, therefore it didn’t mean anything and it’s clearly not sitting well with him. Regret is all over his face. It’s so sad. So…why did they do the same thing but expect it to be okay in S3 regarding Sam (but even more gross cause of the whole stripper/client aspect)? Eff you, Glee.

I feel like this might be the most real and vulnerable I’ve ever seen Santana (in the post-coital conversation with Finn in the motel room bed). I mean…a couple moments may rival it, but it’s definitely top 5 if not top 3. It’s so sad to see how she really feels about this aspect of her life that publicly she seems so proud of and invincible to. Man. Poor Santana.

Um…is Puck playing Ninja in the background or just being a human statue or something? It doesn’t look like anyone is playing with him, so it must be the latter? Random.

Something changed in the way I felt about Glee after this episode, now that I look back on it. I felt like I should’ve left this episode feeling like “wow – they’re ballsy and go against the grain! They’ll do the unexpected” but…instead I was left with a feeling of “do I trust these writers with these people I’ve come to care about?” I’m referring to the possibility of consummation with 3 couples, 2 of which would have seemed…not completely unhealthy and one that obviously was…and they had those 2 chicken out and consummated the 1 that just shouldn’t have because it was kind of an irresponsible message to send to the youngins watching this show who they say at times they speak to when they write things like Kurt’s gay storyline or about being an outcast but finding a group that understands you and being happy with who you are. But here I’m sure they’d say something about how they’re not role models and shouldn’t be emulated. Yeah. This was the beginning of the end of my true love for Glee and the beginning of me just loving certain characters and occasional episodes or storylines…the beginning of my love to hate Glee. Whee. :/

It’s cute that Will polished Emma’s shoes. :)

I know a lot of people think it’s condescending and all, but I think the way Will handles suggesting counseling etc. to Emma was nice. There’s something mature about it. I think it’s that he’s like “we need to take action to work through our issues or they’re not gonna go away” as a team. It was nice.

“What the hell? It seems like now people are doing things JUST to hurt my feelings!” Ok, so maybe Finn IS more perfect for Rachel than I thought. Selfish little man-child.

Jesse St. James just joined New Directions. Kurt is pissed cause it means he’ll have no chance at a solo. Mercedes mentions that they only trot her out at the end of songs to wail on the last note, how is that okay? Truth.com. Also, why were those two issues NEVER addressed by Will? They were put out there, they were true as hell, and they were just ignored. Teacher of the year indeed.

Santana points out that obvs Jesse is a spy. Mr. Schue sticks up for Jesse and lets him join. Yet Rachel wasn’t allowed to date him cause that would be bad for the Glee club? #WTF?

“Mr. Schue, is he your son?”

“Okay, from the top!”  

4 Minutes. Seriously, I never thought Chris Colfer was hot before I saw this song. But let’s be real – he is hot as fuck in this song, I still think so. It was the first time I noticed as well that boy had grown into a little man! When did THAT happen? Wasn’t he just a baby-faced nugget like, 3 episodes before this?

Also, I love both of the vocals for them on this song.

Ok. This still pisses me off (can you tell this is an ep that started my rage towards Glee? Lol): Emma, Mr. Schue and Rachel are all distraught and shocked when they see that Mercedes and Kurt have joined the Cheerios…WHY? Britany and Santana are already on the Cheerios and in Glee and it’s fine. Quinn was. Why is this such a betrayal? They didn’t QUIT ND to join the Cheerios. And isn’t Rachel in like, 16 clubs in addition to Glee? Puck, Finn, Mike and Matt are on the football team. Artie has jazz band and AV club. Mercedes and Kurt and Tina are the only ones who are ONLY in Glee Club. This is stupid.

Shot of Quinn who is happy as a pig in shit for the two of them. THANK YOU Quinn for having sense and being a cool person and good friend.

“You guys could’ve at least given me a heads up.” “You mean, the same you way you gave us a heads up before NOT giving us a solo almost every week?” PREACH!!

You expect me to believe that the sexuality of Express Yourself, Artie working on that kick-ass Vogue video, or that amazing performance of 4 Minutes didn’t sway the boys to like Madonna…but their shitty rendition of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” did? Fuck you, Glee. I’m not an idiot. Stop treating me like one.

Why is Kurt a part of this lesson on treating the girls with respect? 1. He’s into Madonna, so he doesn’t need to be converted. 2. He’s NOT treating the girls like garbage. Teacher of the year indeed.

“I think we’re gonna need a new baritone cause Finn would like to become Finnessa”

“My growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality.”

Kurt mentions he’s an honorary girl. Again, WHY is he a part of this lesson?

AW. It just broke my heart a little that Tina said to Artie “why would you propose when you don’t even like me?” Aw. Poor Tina.

Alright, I admit, I love that whoever wrote this ep finally ended this nonsense with Finn being all pissed at Rachel for dating Jesse like she did something wrong and made him realize why she was even single to be pursued by Jesse in the first place. Kudos…whoever you are cause they didn’t credit the writer or director on this ep (the fuck?).

“Sing off. The parking lot. 5:00. Be there.” “No…”

“Frankly, I need you. I’m tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself.” Oh, FUCK. YOU. Finn! (I say on behalf of Kurt, Artie, and Puck).

Kurt just sang his first itty bitty solo in Glee club and then before Mercedes starting singing he ran up and gave her a peck on the cheek. Oh my God, I love them.

Gospel choir. So. Effing. Random. Yet so. Effing. EPIC.

SOLOS: Rachel (4), Mercedes (3), Finn (3), Emma (1), Santana (1), Will (1), Jesse (1), Kurt (2)