#to sit in my emotions
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Um y'all are literally trying to repress your emotions in favor of more palatable positive emotions. Stop. It's fine to be frustrated. It's fine to express frustration. It easier to not be like concerningly frustrated if you stop controlling it so much.
It really does feel like your bones are being melted in acid. It really does feel like you're trying to stop a dam from bursting. Stop hating yourself for feeling normal things n start hating people who think you have to always be one of 3 socially approved emotions or else you're an unstable monster.
Be angry. Be expressive. Be sad. Be embarrassed. Feel like the world is collapsing around you. Feel all the emotions course through your body and the way it makes you act.
Then, when the feelings gone (bc sitting with those emotions actually lets you experience and process them) go back to doing what you wanted.
me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid
#i just hate when people go#“wow youre angry about this. dont you know thats bad for you?”#im sorry what?#feeling an emotional response to a situation that pissed me off is not bad for me#going out and letting the anger make me do terrible things on the other hand IS bad for me#to sit in my emotions#feeling expressing and venting them as i do#isnt bad#it's normal#its how emotions work#trying to force my brain to make the anger vanish entirely and putting aside the reason it pissed me off at all#doesnt alway help#all it does is make me hold it in until it builds up and bursts out#and by that point the anger is no longer bc of what originally pissed me off#itll become warped n twisted as it festered in me#so yeah id rather be likw “that guy was a fucking asshole and im kinda done with him today”#(because EVEN THEN im still thinking about him as a human being and why he made me mad)#instead of trying to laugh off my frustrations just to fit in and seem palatable#as great as it is sometimes to hold in your emotions#you will end up in situations you could've avoided if you expressed what you were feeling instead of hiding it from everyone and yourself
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Oh yeah his brain finally kick started processing his emotions! Against his will!!!
Bill at therapy part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
#my art#bill cipher fanart#bill cipher#book of bill spoilers#book of bill#gravity falls#digital art#digital fanart#every good break up has tension filled dreams of your ex!#he’s a nerd too btw liking math and chess#fanart#Stanford pines#is this billford?#you can see how my energy was slowly dwindling away#i do these in one sitting btw#its late and im tired#my notes app is filled with bill comic ideas bruhv#anyways yay to processing your emotions?#guys im tired of ford being at bills mercy! time to give ford the power over bill!! give me more bill on his knees for sixer!!! ruaaa#static ford#bill in therapy
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happy pride month
#naegami#makoto naegi#byakuya togami#danganronpa#trans byakuya#polaris polanski#that post is ff naegami to me to a terrifyingly accurate degree#makoto and his wife who wants him to quit his job#byakuya casually dropping bombshells on a shell-shocked and exhausted man#and then daydreaming about a better life they could have together while makoto's still reeling with the implications#if i reconcile my bizarro upbringing and my convoluted perception of gender roles and current position in this foundation#the only way i can get him to leave on his own volition is to marry him. in a straight way. bc we're both straight. what if i was a girl#makoto's resigning himself to being ff's dog for the forseeable future. meanwhile byakuya is doing the same but also having egg emotions#not featured: kyoko who was sitting on the opposite side of makoto and was in the middle of a conversation with him. that got interrupted#she immediately downs her shot after byakuya says that out loud and texts the other survivors who each owe her $10. toko owes her $20#tgirl egg byakuya in her 20s in an apocalypse as a middle manager is a very specific headcanon that i enjoy a lot#only thing keeping her going is her bisexuality and the reminder that 'i went off the grid while crossdressing before i can do it again'#my arts
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He'd just finished speaking when Mobei-Jun sent Shang Qinghua flying forward with a kick. And he really did go flying... flying... flying... [...] he tumbled and skidded as he went flying into the hole, to "investigate and ascertain the situation". After a long, dead silence, a terrified scream suddenly exploded from within the cave.
The absolute business-like manner with which Mobei-Jun decided to "volunteer" Shang Qinghua nearly killd me, the visuals of this scene are unparalleled
#svsss#moshang#mobei jun#shang qinghua#mbj#sqh#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#sqq#lbh#my art#svsss spoilers#i would love to know what was going through mbj's head in this moment sldkfjsdklfjs i can guess what was going through sqh's#i'm finally done sitting in stupefied mourning/reflection over the end of this series so i can finally draw this silly scene#mxtx's ability to include the goofiest nonsense during the most intense final battles is amazing#every single one of her final battles is a great mix of action/tension/emotion/grief/humour
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If there was any moment that made me cry most, it would be this one.
#the wild robot spoilers#roz the wild robot#brightbill#fuck my life this scene left me a blubbering mess#it's the little things that make this scene so moving#brightbill sitting in the exact spot he rested on roz's area as a baby#believing he'd never get the chance to tell Roz how truly sorry he was#looking at the varying emotions written all over his face#facing his inner turmoil working up the nerve to confront that baggage#acknowledging Roz as his real one and only mom#then the god damn nuzzling up around her neck?#might as well have killed me right then and there#poetic cinema at its very finest#the wild robot
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Sorry for not having a Year of the Dragon MDZS artwork; Unfortunately, I can only picture Dragon LWJ in this particular flavour.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Dragon AU#MDZS AU#noodleji#(IT'S A REAL TAG!!! AAH!!! THROWING MY HAT TO THE LITTLE GUY LOVERS!)#Yes I watched Fruits Basket in my teen years and yes it left a significant impression on me.#'The Dragon Transforms' and its just into a small little guy.#Even more points if the human form is a Tall Guy.#Sadly this does not appear to be a common nor popular variation so I will sit on my little hill alone. (EDIT: I WAS WRONG)#Dragon LWJ probably would be some kind of river dragon. Lesser god of a small stream.#One that grows bigger with time but always has the reputation of being benevolent and calm to those who seek its clear waters.#Do not pollute these waters or your ass is going to be bit. 1000 tiny puncture marks.#I imagine that's probably how wwx first meets him (accidently pours booze into lwj's river) (gets bit - gets bit - gets bit-)#WWX eventually befriends him through stubbornly showing up every week to give him offerings.#Takes him into town in a little pot of water to show him how the people live. Maybe go to a festival.#When the day is done and he's back in his river and alone - LWJ finally feels a new emotion...it is longing and loneliness.
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Happy Birthday, Alhaitham!
I wouldn't have guessed I'd bump into you two in a Sumeru tavern.
Here to give me your wishes? Thank you, it is indeed my birthday. I just hope that today will be as relaxing and enjoyable as any other.
The signature dish here at Lambad's Tavern is fish rolls. You should give them a try if you're interested.
If you stay a little longer, you'll see a couple of other familiar faces too. They're coming over from Avidya Forest, so they should be arriving any moment.
When there's something that calls for a celebration, we meet at the tavern — that's how it's always been with us four.
#genshin impact#genshin impact updates#genshin impact news#official#official art#birthday art#alhaitham#there is no keysmash that can express the emotions i'm feeling rn.#like you people don't get how much he means to me#i love him i love him i love him#he's literally just sitting there. i'm insane#my hands are flapping so much rn but he's just there
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watching the sdcc panel and i am just very :) about how sweet their answers to “what are some of the micro moments from the game that have stuck with you the most over the years?” are. taliesin saying what the fuck is up with that which was the first like The Party Gets To Know Each Other moments of c3. travis saying asking his wife if he could kiss her in campaign. marisha going way back to the cannonball competition in campaign one. ashley choosing the beauyasha date but also just the silly goat noise matt made. liam adding onto that to compliment matt roleplaying grass so well and then saying his favourite moment was writing a story for laura and reading it to her as caleb for jester. and then matt saying that was his answer, and that his favourite moments of the game are when they find ways to give gifts to each other whether tangible or not. and sam saying his favourite moments have less to do with the story and is more so when he can just. see his friends across the table from him. when marisha perches and when laura and ashley are (badly) drawing dicks and liam saying he loves when sam sneezes and ashley tells him to stop it and just. yeah. they Are an extremely popular online powerhouse, but i’m so happy that they’re also friends building a world together out of gifts to and love for one another.
like i Am so enamoured with the characters and the world of exandria but the moments when you can feel the love that those people have for each other reach out from behind the stained glass of their performances (to steal a metaphor from brennan lee mulligan) are so extremely special and i am endlessly grateful that they decided to share their silly little home game with the world.
#it’s just the. laura and travis’ characters always being supportive of one another when they’re facing hardship#taliesin and marisha consistently making characters who challenge one another and still protect each other relentlessly#all of them being so fond of ashley’s characters always and literally seeing them light up in c1 episodes when ash got to join in person#sam and liam always making characters who offer one another reprieves into kindness that they don’t always get in the campaign setting#liam making orym after falling in love with keyleth as vax#marisha making laudna after matt’s storytelling with delilah and choosing vex as her body double#ashley using ‘i would like to rage’ and matt having kord ask her where she finds her strength#laura and matt always weaving these deeply complicated and emotional interactions between a daughter and a father#the gasps and yells and clapping when matt makes cool sound effects or reveals a map or breaks/ends on a cliff hanger#them ending both campaign 1 and 2 with ‘what a great/nice story’ and travis saying ‘let’s do it again!’#and it’s like. yes yes i love the comics and i’m a fan of tlovm but . seeing this well produced thing that somehow mimics#the feeling i get sitting in my living room laughing with my roommates about my ranger’s giant rat failing to climb stairs#it’s very special it’s very sweet#critical role#sdcc 2023#taliesin jaffe#travis willingham#marisha ray#ashley johnson#liam o’brien#matthew mercer#laura bailey#sam riegel#cr cast#critical role cast#my posts
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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I feel like we don't talk enough about just how much Lavellan is into kissing Solas. Like look how she moves with him, trying to kiss him again and holding onto him even as he's literally walking away...
#i just think they're neat#and i shall sit here for the rest of the month consumed with every emotion possible until veilguard is here#solavellan#lavellan#solas#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#nymera lavellan#my flycam
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance#doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or#or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.'#idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question...#and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms#jrwi fish and chips#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips#the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think#tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh#ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not
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"Am I but a fool?"
#showtime ship#tadc showtime#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#tadc#the amazing digital circus#caine#pomni tadc#caine tadc#I woke up and chose violence on my emotions#I know mostly I draw comedy or fluff but I had this idea sitting in my brain and I had to make people feel pain like I do /j
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"Tell me again."
Max hums, moving his hand in slow circles along Daniel's back, feeling his chest move against his side, his face hidden in the folds of Max's t-shirt.
He bows his head, pressing a kiss against Daniel's hair, shifting against the hotel's pillows until he's comfortable again.
"It's going to be sunny," he says, voice low, letting Daniel's curls tickle his lips and nose. "It's going to be sunset, orange, the trees all golden in the way you like."
Daniel's back shifts under his hand, his fingers twisting in Max's shirt.
"We'll be sitting in chairs, because you have old man knees, and would complain about sitting on the floor."
He twists away from the halfhearted poke in his side, then settles back.
"They will be those garden ones, the ones with the straw?"
"Wicker," Daniel corrects him softly, voice scratchy.
"Yes, wicker." He tugs Daniel even closer, not knowing how it is even possible. "With pillows, so you can curl in them like a little cat."
He smooths his hand down Daniel's back, like he does with Sassy, when she stretches out beside him on the bed, similar to how Daniel is now. Does it again when he feels Daniel's shoulders uncurl slightly.
"We will be drinking your weird beers, the expensive ones that taste worse than all the others."
"Craft beer isn't weird," Daniel argues, just like Max was expecting him to. He sounds like there's something stuck in the back of his throat, and Max kisses his hair again.
"It is weird, Daniel. Beer does not need to be that expensive."
He gives him space to reply once more, but Daniel doesn't.
"We will drink your weird beer, and we will talk about that time we ate pasta in your hotel room."
It wasn't just one time, but Max knows he doesn't need to specify. They're both thinking about the same one, illegal spaghetti ordered from room service, hidden from their trainers, sauce on the corner of Max's mouth, cleaned by Daniel's thumb first, Daniel's mouth later. And even if they aren't thinking about the same, it doesn't matter. Every plate of pasta shared, in every hotel room, would matter just as much, stepping stones in their story, just as important as that first kiss.
"And it will be rainy," Max continues, voice even lower. His t-shirt is damp, stretched by Daniel's tense fingers. Daniel's back is shuddering, even when he holds him closer and closer and closer.
"It will rain, and you will have a blanket, because you always get cold, even more when it is humid."
The thing that was in Daniel's throat is in his too now.
"We will talk about how stupid everyone was. We will say it was all unfair. But we will not be angry anymore, because it will not matter anymore."
Daniel's hair smell like Max's shampoo, even if he usually doesn't use it, because he hates how dry it makes it feel. Max can taste salt on the back of his throat as he shifts his head slightly, trying to at least keep his ears dry, now that his cheeks are a lost cause.
Daniel's breathing is a stuttered rhythm against his ribs.
"We will cook eggs," Max pushes on, pressing every word against Daniel's skin, hoping every one feels like the i love you that it is. "Because we will have chickens on your farm, like a real farm, so we will be good at cooking eggs. And you will drink your wine, and sing your songs."
His voice breaks, sudden betrayal, just as Daniel trembles in a sob, but Max pushes through. They've both always known how to push through.
"And I will ask are you happy and you will say yes," he says, making it sound like a promise, because it is a promise. "And we will not regret any of it."
He knows they won't. Not the angry moments, not the painful moments, not the annoying little moments they will never even remember. They will take all of them and throw them into the jar of their lives, little pebbles, and colorful marbles, and shards of glass smoothed out with time and love and distance, all mixed together.
"We will sit on your chairs, and they will have nothing, and we will have us."
He holds Daniel closecloseclose, because he's never learned how to let go of the things he cares about, has always clung to things with his teeth and desire bared, and he has no intention of starting now. He has no intention of starting ever.
Even if this is not the way he wanted things to happen, he doesn't believe in letting go, especially when it comes to Daniel.
He swallows, clears his throat to try and dislodge the tight knot of feelings there, raises a hand to swipe his thumb along Daniel's wet jaw.
"We will have chickens, and a garage full of dirt bikes, and I will ask Grace to teach me how to make the pasta sauce you spilled all over the carpet when you were five."
Daniel nods against his chest, fingers relaxing. His breathing is still uneven, Max's t-shirt is still damp, but he can feel him going lax against him, relaxing bit by bit.
"We will," Daniel murmurs, voice shaky enough it sounds closer to a question.
"We will," Max tells him, firm. Would be happy to tell him again and again, until Daniel's voice doesn't shake on it anymore. "We will eat so much food, and we will become fat, and we will be happy. We will."
Daniel nods again, then shifts, wiggling in Max's hold until he can properly climb on top of him, pointy elbows planted on the bed, above Max's shoulders, trembling fingers tracing the wet lines on his cheeks, red-rimmed eyes soft.
When Daniel kisses him, they both taste like salt, exhaustion and the future.
#i made myself cry and i don't even know if most of this makes sense#but yesterday i was crying because (among other things) i was scared i would not have been able to write again#and today i am writing again even if it's just a little thing#so hey one step at a time#maxiel#my writing#if there are typos blame the tears not me#i only wrote a single i love you in this but i hope you could read it in every line and i hope you know every i love you is for you too#and i hope you know we all will be happy too and we will not regret it and we will sit in the metaphorical tumblr porch#and the higher ups and media will have nothing but we will have them and we will have us#im gonna go be emotional somewhere else now
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After MAMA awards I'M VERY PROUD OF MY BOYS and seeing Woozi crying, nooooo my mannnnn
So can I request Woozi or anyone after awards, all members celebrating with their partners hehe LOVE YOUUU!!!
PLEASE PLEASE ���🛐
🍑 i will really live the rest of my life repaying you.
you don't see seungcheol until the next day. such is the life of the general leader, it seems— the never-ending heralding, the non-stop worrying. he deals with his boys, first, then the fans, then the staff. but once that's all done, he's at your front door, collapsing into your arms before he's even past through the entryway. it doesn't matter how many awards its been. he is still overwhelmed by it every single time, and you are a soft place to land. he comes home to you and whispers the sweetest nothings in your hair. i'm so proud of them and they did so well and they're so happy. as he holds you tight— like you're the only thing keeping him upright— it's your turn to let him hear those words. i'm so proud of you. you did so well. you get to be happy, too.
the jeonghan on the other end of the video call has been quiet for the most part of the past half-hour. you'd be more worried if you hadn't already predicted where his solemness was coming from. "hannie? still with me?" you prompt gently, and he finally tears his gaze away from the ceiling to look back at you. "yeah. yeah, i'm with you," he answers. a beat. there are some things you no longer have to say out loud. how he wishes he was there. how he misses them and tries not to let it show. instead, you give him a reminder that's quiet and firm. "this is yours, too," you say. this award. this moment. these boys. all still his. there's a ghost of a smile on his face as he mumbles, "right. of course. how could i forget."
joshua likes keeping lists. a running one he has with you is that of gratitude, where the two of you try to end each day with acknowledgements of what you're grateful for. you're expecting a whole essay for him after tonight. he surprises you by keeping it short, sweet, and straight to the point. in no particular order, he types out into your shared note. music, the boys, you. hours later, he adds a footnote like it'd occurred to him as an afterthought: i'm always grateful for those three, but especially so today.
"look at them!" jun shrieks. his video call pixelates, either from spotty connection or his sudden burst of enthusiasm. you have half a mind to warn him that he may get a noise complaint again, but this time it'd be completely warranted. he's positively vibrating with excitement, his eyes glued to the livestream of his twelve brothers ascending the stage for their second award of the night. "look at them," he repeats, and this time his voice is more reverent than anything. you could comply, could do as he's asking, but your eyes are trained elsewhere. and look at you, too, you want to say. look at you and all that you've done to get this far.
even though it's been an exceptionally long day, soonyoung comes home brimming with adrenaline. he does dance routines in your living room. he jogs around your block until you beg him to just come back. he sings in the shower before collapsing onto the bed next to you, where he suddenly becomes boneless. the glow of pride stays even as the exhaustion hits. he pulls you against him and cuddles right into you. to soonyoung, this is as good as any trophy: the peace that comes with falling asleep next to you.
wonwoo has no destination in mind. he has a car with a full tank, and a playlist of all his favorite songs, and you in the passenger seat. that's more than enough. you pass through tunnels with warm lighting; expressways where he keeps the windows down so the wind will whip at your hair. occasionally, you'll stop to grab a snack or take a photo of something interesting on the side of the street. after hours of just going in circles, he'll ask, "should we keep driving?" even though he knows you'd never deny him this. this. his little celebration in the form of getting 'lost' with you.
nobody hears from jihoon for the next couple of days. the managers are worried, but the boys all just shake their heads and say that he's in good hands. which means: he's wherever you are. the two of you don't talk about his speech, about his public breakdown, because both things make him want to hide forever. instead— he sleeps in. he watches movies from months ago that he promised he'd get to. the two of you go on walks at night, and have breakfast at lunch time. the vicious cycle will soon have to begin again. jihoon knows that. but for a few, precious moments, his heart is not a heavy burden because it's safe and sound in your capable hands.
seokmin takes you on the textbook definition of your perfect date. a shopping spree? here's his black card. an amusement park? he'll rent out lotte world for the day, if he must. you're understandably baffled. he's the one who just won big, and yet you're the one being treated like royalty. try to resist and he'll only push back on you. seokmin already spoils you enough as is, but this is just a little more over-the-top than the day-to-day stuff. at the end of it all, his rationale is as sweet as it gets. "you keep me going," he tells you. "and so you deserve just as much credit as i do."
mingyu has always liked to celebrate with a meal. you'd expected his usual fare of some swanky restaurant or high-end café, but, this time, he asks for only free reign of your kitchen. he props his phone up against the salt shaker and pulls up a youtube video before flashing you his best 'just-trust-me' grin. your trust is not misplaced; the two of you do manage to bake the celebratory cake, though whether it's any good is an entirely different story. the end result doesn't matter as much as the process. mingyu is happiest about the flour marks on your cheeks, about the kisses he steals while you whisk eggs. it's not a birthday cake, but you light up a candle for him anyway. just for the hell of it. "make a wish," you tease. he's looking straight at you as he blows at the flame.
minghao asks for a beach day. the two of you set out for the nearest one. maybe the sand is a bit rocky; the shore, lacking in shells. he doesn't care. he only seeks out the sun beating on his back, the saltwater clinging to his skin, the first punch of air after emerging from the water. as the stolen weekend winds to a close, the two of you sit at the point where the water lap at your toes. neither of you have to speak. here, minghao lets the tide wash away the ache of homesickness. here, minghao redefines 'home' as a future with the boys of his youth, with the music that is as constant as the waves— and with you, of course.
the ferry ride to jeju is about four or so hours long, but seungkwan doesn't mind. there's just something so right about getting on the first vessel that will take him back where he has family waiting with a homecooked meal and a play-by-play of the award show. besides, the ferry means having four hours of uninterrupted leisure time with you. the pair of you literally have nowhere else to be except this boat and this point in time, which seungkwan is a little guilty to be so happy about. he's a glutton for your time and attention, and these ferry rides— these trips home— remind him just how much he likes taking the scenic route.
vernon treats it almost like it's just another day. almost. you're thrown off by his initial nonchalance, by the lack of utter fanfare in the way he asks you out to lunch and the two of you barely discuss the recent accolades. when you prompt him about it, you realize it's not because of arrogance or ignorance. "we're just doing what we always do," he says with an expression of mild confusion. winning?, you almost inquire half-jokingly, but that's only part of it. he elaborates, "we were just ourselves, y'know?"
when chan suggests a rage room, you're understandably confused. the wrath-based activity doesn't seem like the most optimal celebration, but you're not about to cramp his style. the two of you queue the angriest songs known to man before smashing some defunct appliances and throwing empty bottles against a wall. once your time is up, chan looks at you with that familiar spark of fire in his eyes. that dedication you fell in love with, that passion that has always burned bright. "again?" he asks, and you know it's not just the rage room that he's asking for.
#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt#୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy#( sorry if this is a bti of a mess/all over the place/at varying lengths etc. )#( i'm a bit conked out and i'm Very Emotional and i hammerde this out in one sitting. )#( my svt ! i love u ! aaaah . good night )
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it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...
#watch this right after the ephemeral ones to die instantly. i assume. i haven't tried it#i feel like so many of the emotional beats that destroy me in this story come down to impermanence#accepting loss and change. finding the beauty in transience. treating every encounter as something precious‚ knowing it's ephemeral#and this chapter is about...also accepting renewal? allowing oneself to think about the possibility of love lasting#allowing oneself to put down roots. nurturing what is there. building foundations. doing it for and with people#god you know what else you shouldn't watch this after if you don't want to keel over dead probably. the childhood home arc#natsume can now think of the memory of sitting with his father looking at his mother's garden#and associate it with warmth instead of pain. because he's no longer afraid of losing it. because of the trust he has built#because he knows he can build something. the people here have made it safe for him and he has and he is and he will#i am crying so hard i should be collecting my tears for water reclamation purposes#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu meta#my posts
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