#to serve under someone or something … and she’s literally willing to do anything for the thing she’s following

[swordmaid]

the thing with shri’iia to me is that she is very easy to manipulate if you say the right words. that’s how the matriarch kept her in a leash and cage and shri’iia WAS happy with that until she accidentally escaped and slowly realised how shitty all that was. that’s why - in an oathbreaker shri’iia run - she starts to spite the emperor once she realises what he’s doing with her, and why a vengeance shri’iia run would still be plausible after the religious/self existential crisis bc she’ll be in a really vulnerable place and she would want to hear those right words, you know …

[noemilivv]

Hey Mio-!!! I know your reqs are closed rn so I'm really just leaving this here so I don't forget the idea, but I saw a tiktok that inspired meee and I was thinking what ab a reader who accidentally confesses to Vox/the hazbin people when drunk and based on their reactions maybe thinks they're turning the reader down but they aren't oki bye bye have a good weekend!!!

-🍂anon

𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐰 + 𝐯𝐞𝐞𝐬 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

a/n: hello 🍂anon!! i’m so sorry i kept you waiting on this, i couldn’t stop procrastinating it 😭😭 also i’m sorry if vox seems more mean then normal, i feel like i’ve been writing him too victim-y and at the end of the day he’s an asshole too and i tried to show that. but i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: mentions of alcohol/being drunk/drinking/etc, profanity, mentions of sex (no smut), vox being a bit of an asshole <;/3

proofread: HAH! no. (heh, your loss) someone tell me you got that reference 😭😭

including: charlie, vaggie, angel dust, husk, lucifer, vox

tags: hazbin hotel, fanfiction, x reader

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞

girl is flabbergasted. i mean, she’s always heard the term ‘drunk words are sober thoughts’ or something like that, but she’s surprised you would say that to begin with — true or not.

but obviously, she feels romantically about you, so if it wasn’t true and it was just something you blurted out whilst drunk, she’s gonna be a bit upset

so she tells you, if you really feel that way, you can tell her when you’re sober, and she puts you to bed :)

𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞

she can only maintain her calmness for so long until she simply loses her composure, she’s not good at hiding her true feelings and/or thoughts for an extensive period of time

vaggie makes sure you get to bed safe, but she doesn’t bring up until you’re fully sober, she wants your recovery from your hangover to be stress-free and relaxing — not anything that could make you distraught

although, she may or may not dote on you a little extra the next morning…

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭

angel knows what it’s like to say something you weren’t ready to whilst under the influence, he’s done it more times then he’s willing to admit

so he’s (as sweetly as he can be) stern about being 100% sober whilst making decisions to blurt this kinda stuff out

deep down, angel knows it’s true, he knows you wouldn’t lie to him about smth like that, drunk or not — but he can’t help but in awe in a way

like he’s a famous pornstar, you don’t love him for his money or body or looks, you love him for being anthony, and not angel dust, and he’s simply not used to it

𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐤

husker is a bartender, he’s heard everything in the book, exceeeept someone drunkenly confessing to him while he’s serving them drinks after a shitty night

it’s safe to say… he’s cautious, he’s seen a lot of drunk people do a lot of dumb shit, so he’s unsure if confession is as sincere as it can be

first, he wants to make sure you’re in the right mind before he even thinks before saying he feels the same, he’s been hurt a couple times, and he’s not ready to go through that again, whether he admits it or not

it’ll probably take him a few days until he brings it up, he’s the kinda guy who wants to reflect before making big decisions

𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫

honestly, lucifer is probably the most shocked out of all them, after being divorced for seven years, possibly more, the guy eventually thought he was gonna be forever alone, especially considering he’s the literal king of hell

the thought of that you’re drunk and may not know what you’re getting into doesn’t even cross his mind, he’s had few interactions with women tbh, and most of them were mainly sexual (like with adam’s wives)

so he gets all giddy and happy and accepts your confession immediately ! it doesn’t hit him until a few months into your relationship that he probably should’ve waited until you were sober LOL

𝐯𝐨𝐱

vox, like angel, has never had someone genuinely confess their love to him. he’s had an on-and-off sexual relationship with valentino and gotten creepy love letters from fans — but that’s about it

honestly, as shitty as it he can’t help but take advantage of your drunken state, just slightly.

he sorta feeds into any praise you give him, and will lowkey force it out of you, his ego needs to be fed and it’s only getting started

let’s be real, vox isn’t the most perfect guy around, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hold a soft spot for you, although, at this point, a solid relationship cannot be promised :(

i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to signedmio. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.

[lnsfawwi]

bucky is anti-peggy: their relationships with steve and why bucky will always overshadow peggy as love interest

hardly anything novel but I have to get it out of my system. interpretations are strictly in-universe just to be fair. also seb headcanons are canon, I won't hear otherwise!

the difference between stucky and steggy can be summed up by their respective reactions to beefed-up Steve. someone on tumblr points out that these two scenes also serve as analogies of their relationships. steggy would always be about peggy reaching out, their relationship would be under the spotlight, be the center of attention while stucky is the reverse. I just want to add to that.

Peggy was literally dazzled, she tried to touch his naked body, she was eager to see what this body could do (sexually, among other things). that's the first time she saw steve as sexually attractive, the first time she saw steve at all if we are honest, and what she saw was this jacked-up version of him, an icon-to-be, someone whom steve never really accepted as himself. In essence, the first time she really paid attention to steve as the love interest, was the moment steve became someone else.

Bucky, who was tortured for days, if not weeks, still delirious, was confused bc that was not his steve, he probably didn't even think Steve was real at first. Bucky was experimented on, he likely knew there were similar human experiments aimed to enhance, he knew science like that was possible, but whose science? so that's the first question, 'what happened?' Steve joined the army, okay, so this was not forced onto him, probably. then the next thing he asked was, 'did it hurt?' he didn't care how strong it made Steve, he only wanted assurance that Steve was fine. like, what if the process hurt? what could bucky possibly do? nothing. it's not about whether it hurt, it was just bucky simply giving a shit about steve's wellbeing. we don't even need to get into the 'little kid from brooklyn' line.

peggy witnessed a magical transformation and was amazed by the eventual product but bucky saw his best friend who must've gotten through something excruciating. peggy could never fall in love with skinny steve when that's all bucky saw, until the very end (sebastian said bucky probably never got used to big steve).

another contrast would be the final plane crash. sebastian was asked whether Bucky would've gotten on that plane with Steve or stayed behind like Peggy. seb's answer is that Bucky would've tried to get on that plane cuz he felt responsible for steve, and he'd fall again.

the thing is that, had Bucky been on that plane, Steve never would've crashed it. he would've done anything to save Bucky. he didn't have to crash that plane which was canon (pointed out by rhodey). steve could've got out but he didn't. Bucky being there would've given him the motivation to do so. any other person would tbh, but only Bucky would be willing to be on that plane bc Peggy canonly wasn't. in addition to bucky's willingness to follow steve literally into the jaws of death, in this hypothetical scenario, Bucky would be the reason for Steve to live in catfa.

that leads to yet another contrast.

'just go! get out of here!' 'no, not without you!'

steve, who had no idea what he was capable of, jumped through fire for bucky.

'don't do this, there's still time, let me find a way...' 'a lot of people are gonna die if I don't do this, peggy. this's my choice.'

despite peggy's pleading, steve crashed the plane.

the word choice appeared several times in catfa. the first time was when peggy told philip that it was steve's choice (to die trying to save bucky). the second time was when peggy told steve that bucky made a choice (to die fighting with him). and the third time was when steve told peggy it was his choice (to sacrifice himself). it's no coincidence that each and every time the choice was each other, steve echoing the word at the end made it clear that he was doing this for bucky.

a relationship goes both ways. steve and bucky are canonly willing to, and did, die and live for each other. peggy simply doesn't have that level of impact on steve. in fact, steve literally repeatedly chose bucky over her in catfa.

put it simply, bucky and steve care more about each other than themselves, peggy didn't even care about skinny steve in that sense. she also literally couldn't because she only met skinny steve twice. briefly.

plus as I said previously bucky is the only one standing in between a traditional cishet hypermasculine image of steve and the real steve, peggy is the one element that fulfils the false image.

everything bucky is, peggy is the opposite. the differences quite literally result in different interpretations of steve. and who can say honestly that endgame steve is better than cap trilogy steve？

[the-bitter-ocean]

oceaaaannn hiii! let's go with 3, 5, and 15 for the isat ask game c:

(MAJOR A6SE / 2HATS SPOILERS + FULL GAME SPOILERS AHOY) Thank you for the questions @dekupalace ! Since I’m going to be talking more in depth about the game for one of these questions I’m going to put my responses under a read more:

3- favorite soundtrack?

Oh god that’s such a hard question the whole game has certified bangers. The musicians at Studio Thumpy Puppy were not messing around or pulling any punches. The soundtrack of the game elevates literally every emotional beat. If I was forced to choose only one song out of the soundtrack my favorite track in the whole game has to be “How Can You Help Me, Stardust?” aka the theme that plays when you fight Loop at the Favor tree during act six. Hearing that for the first time while getting the full context of loop’s backstory made me go crazy. It was so fucking emotional and well done. That and it’s just objectively a super intense high energy song that makes me wanna dance around. If anyone deserves the coolest fight theme in the game, it’s Loop.

5- favorite optional event?

Ooh this is also a hard one! I adore a lot of the optional story events because each of them really shed light on Siffrin’s mental state /characterization, as well as gives depth to other aspects like the other character of the world building as a whole which strengthens the themes of the story. Aside from the obvious choice (2Hats Ending/ Act six loop encounter) I think my favorite optional event would have to be the “Who Was Phone” achievement (Change God event). There’s something so fascinating about learning about the Change God. Someone who clearly adores their certified little guy (Mirabelle) and is willing to offer words of kindness and assurance in her identity even if it knows she won’t remember in one instance..and then in the very same breath tell Siffrin that they enjoy watching Siffrin in the timeloop torment nexus because they’re curious to see how they change in a situation where everything is forced to stagnate. It was so genuinely fucked. I will think about it always forever.

15- anything you’d change about the game? be it game mechanics, a new feature, a change in plot, etc

Overall I’m pretty satisfied with the game both in story and gameplay actually. I think Adrienne did a good job writing and expanding on the characters and story that was set up in the prologue. The quality of life in terms of gameplay got improved since the previous game as well ( those who played the prologue can attest to this) . The fact that it was a in universe story reason as to why makes it all the more satisfying (if you want to know what I mean by that please read my mutuals @felikatze analysis about it here.)

I just am happy that Siffrin got to be happy in the end and stay with their family, to be able to talk things out and escape the loops. I know some people didn’t like that or expected a more darker/sadder ending or wanted the gameplay to be more challenging … my response to that is Literally Just Play Start Again: A Prologue. To me it would be extremely reductive to have Siffrin just suffer with no reprieve or escape from the loops (because that’s just a repeat of what happened in its predecessor) or have the group just split off from each other immediately after everything happened. It would have been extremely unsatisfying and ultimately missing the point of the themes of the game as a whole gonna be real lol.

The only things I’d maybe change or add is like it would’ve been cute to see Euphrasie and Claude be together/ reunite on screen in act 6. They should kiss. Lol. (That and just I would’ve personally loved to see Euphrasie in canon expanded on a little more but that’s not necessarily needed she serves her purpose in the narrative. I just like analyzing her and giving her more depth and I like when others do too, but that’s what fanart/ fics and aus are for so I’m not fussed.) 

I don’t mind that the game is sort of open ended and doesn’t answer all the questions. I think that gives artists, fanfic writers, Au makers and people who like to analyze the game more freedom to come up with their own interpretations for things that happened in pre canon and post canon which to me is more interesting. I know Loop disappearing at the end of the game in both endings is sad/ bittersweet but I wouldn’t necessarily change the way that was structured either. I like that their fate was ambiguous because it leads the viewer to come up with their own theories as to where they went. ( personally I love seeing stuff where loop gets to travel on their own and form a new life and identity outside of the loops and learn to heal, as well as post game getting to meet back up with the party and learn to navigate this new life/ change one step at a time. )

[bestworstcase]

Your points about Salem and Cinder possibly being a fucked up mother/daughter relationship also puts her constant parallels with Ironwood and Winter in V8 into a very different light as well.

Ironwood and Salem, in their own dark and twisted way as a result of their culture/their circumstances loving the one person they consider to be their daughter, but differing ultimately in regards to what they chose to do about it.

Ironwood deciding that his own selfish desires and ideology mattered more than even the one woman he cared for more than most, while Salem basically dropping and twisting her ideals into a pretzel to help the one person she considers the closest thing to a replacement daughter for her dead daughters with Ozma.

Winter, thinking the world of Ironwood only to ultimately have to oppose him due to his betrayal of her and everyone else, vs Cinder thinking Salem is just Madame 2.0 due to Salem constantly stamping all over her trauma buttons by poor decisions and abusive actions born of her own trauma even as Salem, in her own fucked up way, is willing to do anything for Cinder if she truly asks for it.

It also frankly explains rather well why Cinder is so important in Salem's plan in a way that I haven't been able to pin down without that as a consideration. Cinder thinks it's because she's got some fancy storybook destiny that she needs to prove that she "deserves", and the audience being led on a red herring to think that it's only going to lead to her being discarded once Salem has no more use for her. When in reality it's because (again in her own fucked up way) Salem wants her surrogate daughter to get what she wants in her life (mixed with fighting a rebellion against the gods) because Salem knows exactly how Cinder feels about having her trust broken beyond repair and demonized by others.

And all of this occurring in the story arc where an overarching theme is of multiple parents (Dr. Polendina and Penny, Tai and Summer and Ruby Rose/Yang, etc.) being deeply flawed people who are willing to do anything and everything for the sake of their daughters.

Cinder.exe will just end up suffering a mental bluescreen when Salem ends up showing this in the most undeniable way possible, because it's so opposite to everything she understands about the world.

:)

give 8.4-5 (<- fault + amity) a watch with this reading in mind sometime. bc cinder’s relationship with salem and penny’s with pietro are directly compared, in a really interesting way:

PENNY: Why are you doing this? Why serve someone like Salem? CINDER: I don’t serve anyone—and neither would you, if you weren’t built that way! PENNY: …That is not… [She glances down, making eye contact with Pietro.] I choose to fight, for people who care about me.

<- amity is a really fraught place for penny to be confronted with this, both because it’s where cinder orchestrated her being ripped to shreds a year ago and because in order to get the comms satellite launched, penny had to let her dad remote into her system and literally use her body like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that she did not feel comfortable with that.

so… for cinder to come here and draw an implicit equivalence between salem and pietro and insinuate that penny is not free, that truly does get under penny’s skin. which i think is something that often gets overlooked, because it’s layered under the more obvious fact that cinder really doesn’t understand who or what penny is at all; but like, penny hesitates. it takes her a moment to figure out how to articulate that’s not true because there is a kernel of truth to cinder’s point. 

penny was built to be ironwood’s weapon. his perfect super-soldier. and now she that she’s defied him to do what she thinks is right, half the people she cares about have told her that she’s being evil and selfish and it’s her fault if everyone dies. and the other half told her she needs to go to amity and stay there and not help anybody, and she feels like a tool, she feels like she has a million things she’s supposed to do and none of them are what she wants to do. so she has all these mixed-up feelings about… what she was built for and what she chooses to be.

and like. in 8.4:

CINDER: I… I want to search for the winter maiden. I think that— SALEM: Did you hear that, my pet? She thinks; she wants. As if she’s done something to warrant me caring about either of those things.  CINDER: We’re just sitting and waiting. Without the maiden, the vault means nothing. Let me claim it for you.  SALEM: I will tell you when and where you are needed. CINDER: But your grace— [The Hound lunges around to snarl at her.] SALEM: I would like to think I have shown a great deal of patience over my many years walking Remnant, but I do hate repeating myself. You will remain here. Is that clear? CINDER: [lying] …Yes. Yes, of course. Without you. I am nothing.

vs 8.5:

PENNY: I can fix this. […] Our message is only a few minutes long. I can try to hold Amity in place for— PIETRO: Absolutely not! You’re in no condition to do something like this. Even just the temperature out there could… PENNY: It is our only option.  MARIA: She’s right, Pietro. We have to remember the big picture— PIETRO: I don’t care about the big picture! I care about my daughter! I lost you before; are you asking me to go through that again? No. No, I want the chance to watch you live your life.  PENNY: But, dad, I am trying to. PIETRO: …Right.

<- literally. literally the exact same argument. not just in terms of what the conflict is but the structure of the dialogue is identical. the interrupted statement of intention; the practical reasoning shot down; “but, your grace” vs “but, dad”—the difference is that where salem is masking, pietro wears his heart on his sleeve, and that allows him and penny to come to an understanding that she is going to do this and he’s going to sit in his fear and support her. whereas salem gets the false capitulation and false security. 

it’s pretty in-your-face (<- which i think supports the interpretation of salem’s motive being protectiveness twisting through her emotional walls) and it’s an interesting parallel to set up given that salem does, in the end, come to a similar resolution to step back and let cinder take risks. it telegraphs the possibility of constructive change, a choice to accept the fear instead of trying to force cinder into a position where the fear doesn’t exist. 

it’s also just darkly funny in a way. cinder kills penny twice and is directly the culprit for pietro’s intense terror of losing penny, and salem feels that same terror for cinder. mirrors. 

but yeah with ironwood and winter too, “i’ve chased a lot of shadows over the years, always expecting betrayal, but never once did i think it would ever come from you” vs “you chose to disobey my specific instructions, just to fail again. and… i’ve realized it’s all my fault.” and, “consider this my last order: step aside” vs “here i am holding you back, instead of lifting you up.” 

salem if nothing else takes cinder’s betrayal as a reason to reevaluate her own actions and consider what she did that gave cinder cause to disobey her, where ironwood is by this point completely disconnected from the reality that loyalty is a two-way street. 

and there’s something too in salem choosing not to stop at “it’s my fault” but fully articulate that she understands why cinder did what she did; it’s of a piece with the way she responds to cinder in 8.14, a conscious reversal of “she thinks, she wants, as if she’s done something to warrant me caring”—she does care, and she has always cared, and it shows in how she speaks to cinder when she’s not trying to prove she doesn’t care.

like. salem chose to put her trust in cinder—an enormous degree of trust, over and over again—without having any illusions about what sort of person cinder is. she knows cinder is singularly focused on what cinder wants. she’s unfazed by the disobedience because she knows she prevented cinder from getting what she wanted. whereas ironwood trusted winter because he molded her so well into the perfect lieutenant that he never imagined she could break from him, because he never understood there was more to her than the surface he sculpted. 

[aquaburst3]

Last night I read someone's article analyzing Honest Fellow and his place in society. While I don't personally agree with most of OP's points as per usual, like the fact that I think Jamil is more on par with Ruggie rather than being "rich" and on par with characters like Riddle and Vil when it comes to wealth, one interesting one they mentioned is how all of the Halloween one shot villains so far served as one of the character's dark reflections. I honestly see that.

Rollo=Idia Both lost their brothers in tragic accidents. While Idia was able to deal with his anger and grief in a healthy way, Rollo was never able to accept or cope with his loss. He directed his anger towards himself for not being able to save his brother outwards, doing the flower thing in order to get rid of the one thing that stole his brother way in his eyes—magic. (Strictly talking about the canon versions here. My own take on the character is slightly different, even if they share the same backstory. Plus, I'm handling Ortho FAR differently in mine to the point he will seem like a different character. Rollo doesn't reflect Idia very much in mine as a result.)

Honest Fellow=Ruggie Both come from impoverished backgrounds and have been screwed over by society to varying degrees, clinging to wealthy benefactors. Both also have UMs that control people in different ways. While Ruggie is fully willing to swindle, steal from and take advantage of oblivious rich people, he has his limits about how far he'll go and has compassion for others, even those from rich backgrounds. Honest Fellow wallowed his resentment, and took out his anger for his circumstances by willingly taking part in a plot that would turn people, especially magic users and from privileged backgrounds, into puppets. This is likely due to thanks to Ruggie being able to go to NRC and Leona helping Ruggie grow past his station while Honest Fellow was not, it's still no excuse or make Honest Fellow's actions any less fucked up. Plus, Leona also cares about Ruggie and treats him with respect whereas Honest Fellow's boss treats him like trash. (Granted, I don't think this arc was well written. Hell, I have plenty of issues about how Honest Fellow was handled as a character, especially about him not paralleling his canon counterpart. Neither here nor there rn.)

I did something similar in my stories as well, albeit unintentionally somewhat. One example is for Addie (Yuu)...even if she's only a rival rather than outright villain like the above examples. There's also the final boss for her as well. But considering the first one won't show up until the next arc of my fic and the last one I want to keep under wraps, I will leave it at that for another post at a later point. However, the more I think about it, Destan, my "twisted" Narissa OC that shows up in the middle of my Savanaclaw rewrite fic who harassed my "Yuu", is Vil's dark foil.

Undercut thanks to spoilers to the next arc of my fic

Both are actors and Hollywood (or the fantasy version of that) nepo babies. Both feel like they are mistreated by the entertainment industry, Vil with being typecast as a villain and Destan for not being casted in hardly anything. Both have powerful UMs that can be deadly in the wrong hands, being connected to the Evil Queen in different ways. (Vil with his ability to curse anything or anyone he touches, and Destan's making him basically a Heartrender, aka being able to control another person's heart...literally.) What separates them is that Vil is kind, considerate and genuinely cares about others, wanting to help people become their best selves, while Destan sees others as pawns to get to help him become famous.

Yes, Vil is a polarizing and super flawed character. He's domineering, overly critical, controlling, harsh, impulsive, temperamental among a whole other laundry list of things. Also, yes. He did try to poison Neige. Double yes, the way that he treats Epel isn't it. However, at the end of the day, he wants to help out those in his dorm become their best selves. He gives others personalized body care. He helped others with their makeup in the first Halloween Event. In Epel's SSR dorm uniform story, when Vil needed help tinkering with magiwheel for one of his plays, he asks Epel, since he knows about his skills in that area and that it's something he enjoys. He put in a lot of hard work into his routine and wanted to win against Neige in legitimate means. He only resorted to the poison shit after he was disheartened by others loving Neige's shitty performance that he put no effort into. (Handling that differently in mine, but strictly talking about the canon here.) He's also the only person who overblotted so far who actually apologized to Yuu and tried to make it up to them.

If you include my writing as well, he genuinely cares about Addie's wellbeing and sees her as a friend by the end of his arc. He will even help her with something at one point during Pomefiore thanks to empathizing with her circumstances. He also apologizes for when he says something horrible to her and tries to make it up to her.

You can make the argument that he is using her and Epel to aid his VDC team, however, he never coerced them to do anything. He was up front about his conditions, both with her and Epel. They both have free choice. They are able to say no and back out at any time. Hell, she even agrees to help take down Neige at one point. While he could've been clearer with Epel about what everything entailed, that's more do to his own misunderstanding than anything on Vil's part.

Destan is the complete opposite, being like if Vil completely gave into his ire from the get-go and did anything to get the roles he wanted. He doesn't go out the way to help others around him. He only sees everyone as pawns, including his "friends". Rather than earning his goals and trying to accomplish them through honest means like Vil, he's taking the lazy and worst way out. Destan's whole plan is forcing Addie to be his girlfriend in order to be spotted with her and be thrusted into the spotlight like that. He will not take no for an answer, and will do some nasty shit to make her comply. How she gets out of that situation, only time will tell.

Destan also represents her ex that cheated on her. Both he and her ex boyfriend saw Addie as a sex object and a tool to put themselves in the spotlight. His UM being a nod to her ex being a "heartbreaker" is not subtle.

I admit, making these one shot villains dark foils to the NRC boys is genuinely clever writing and is one aspect that makes those events seem more engaging compared to most of the other ones. The fact that these guys are able even have darker foils goes to show you that most of the NRC boys are more like the Dregs from Six of Crows and more morally grey. It also proves that most of these guys have potential to be so well rounded they seem like real life people than characters based on cartoon villains if they just had more consequences for their actions and were handled differently in general. (Minus Ortho and Grim, who I think are poorly written characters. Ortho has no personality outside of being the "child character". Grim is poorly constructed and makes zero sense. King from The Owl House is what I imagine Grim would be like in the hands of a far more competent writer. But I'll save that for another post.)

I would say "great minds think alike". But since I think Yana is a highly overrated and terrible writer, I think it's a "even a broken clock is right twice a day" situation. xD I'm genuinely curious how the game will handle these "dark reflection" foils in future Halloween events and which characters Yana will pick out to be those. (I, for one, can see a twst version of Ernesto being Azul's thanks to him basically being Azul without any of the latter's positive traits or conscience. Same goes for a twst version of Jack Skellington for Kalim. Have no idea about who Jamil's dark foil could potentially be, though.)

[spontaneousglitterbees]

What's a scene you'd like to work on for TAPPS, but in reality (even with a working laptop and a non-fucked shoulder) would take too much time and buildup to make work. Like, the daydream scenario?

[Talent Acquisition Pilot Program AU Masterpost]

Hmm. Fic time.

This Heart of Mine is Guilty (Not Remorseful)

---------------------

Gonta Gokuhara is not stupid.

A fool, as much as anyone willing to whittle themselves away into something ‘more palatable’ can be called one, but not stupid. His insistence to the contrary only chips at your respect for him. He is a liar, and you cannot stand liars.

Case and point: the raucous lack of resistance from your classmates. Even the most sickeningly-sweet of your mutual acquaintances find themselves “too polite” to lend their appraisals a voice; it isn’t just a lie, it is a spineless lie of omission, and it is contagious. Gonta entwines himself in a positive feedback loop of self-deprecation, and if they did not notice, it would be unfortunate, but within reason. Instead, they praise themselves for their abilities to ignore it. As though it makes them ‘good people’ to let someone else say the quiet part loud.

Disgusting.

Gonta was not an idiot. It was simultaneously true that he was not an idiot and you were a liar, so it stood to reason that if you enthusiastically indulged his self-destructive words (you were certain that was all they were, back then, and you were not a font of pity) somebody ought to connect the dots sooner or later.

The Ultimate Maid seemed promising at first. Her talent, people-pleasing taken to a logical extreme, should have given her a level of interpersonal insight few achieve. Rather than spiking that serve into becoming the Ultimate Fly-on-the-Wall, Kirumi let it consume her. The face chosen for her— "selfless devotion", down to the very core— hollowed out the rest of her. (You do not know how much, if any, of that was her ‘choice’. How much of it she literally, logistically could have resisted if she’d ‘only tried hard enough’. You do not like that thought. Thoughts you do not like are one of the few things you can still outrun.) She was willing to do anything for anyone, weighing pros and cons to do the greatest good for the most people with the information at her disposal.

The “selfless” one appointed herself judge, jury, and executioner on behalf of people she couldn’t prove existed. It was never out of the question that Monokuma was lying, either at any point or every point thus far; the world outside could have been (was) fine. The looming threat to the country’s people without leadership could have been a complete farce (it was) but she decided anyway. Even on the off chance it was completely fabricated (good odds, in your book, even back then) the then-twelve of you were expendable. Killing you all, in her mind, was justified.

And you thought she was reasonable.

(You can’t reconcile the Kirumi in your head with the Kirumi in your post-trial nightmares with the girl who also stays sitting while the rest of the class does warm-ups, catching your eye as you idly glance about the room, gently nodding in some silent sort of solidarity before you break eye-contact and ponder how you might have even gotten here, that girl, who also calls herself ‘Kirumi.’)

“Selflessness” is a lie. All altruism is, on some base level, self-aggrandizing shielding itself with other people. Kirumi couldn’t have cared that deeply for an indistinct swathe of people she never could have known, or even known of, hand-over-fist clinging to the vines skewering the nerves just under her palms. She wanted out. She wanted out, wanted so badly to indulge in a single, cruel ray of sunlight, and she wanted more than anyone else, clearly. She’d earned it. The rest of you hadn’t. The rest of you, as far as she was concerned, could die in that place, as long as she could have another moment of—

“Selflessness” was Kirumi’s lie. She did not deign the dignity to believe it.

And you hate liars.

(You hate yourself, so, so much for bowing to self-preservation. “To end the killing game,” you’d said, and believed. It was for the “greater good”. Can’t be a hypocrite if you commit to your convictions, so why do you still feel—)

But. That’s a lie.

You do it all the time. Easier than breathing, really, falsehoods sprinkled in for spice (‘...and that’s why I can’t set foot in 20 yards of a swimming pool, but only in three cities.’; ‘Oh, I beat it on the first try! It’s totally simple, just don’t get hit.’; ‘10,000 members, Momota, and you’re gonna have to manage them all when I’m gone!’) or by compulsion (‘Actually, if you factor in the time period, yellow roses are a death threat. You’re thinking of the blue ones they picked to extinction!’; ‘Yeah, I know a guy who owns a junkyard, could scrap you real good. How dare you think I’d leave DICE vulnerable to the Robot Uprising, you’re so mean!’; ‘Ooh, the anticipation’s the best part, I’m sure there’ll be a body announcement any minute!’). You will lie, even without a soul to hear you (‘this is good. This is fun. I am having fun.’) and make certain the world knows precisely when you are lying. You will lie about nearly anything, save for the act of lying itself.

Eventually.

Sometimes, your lies are carefully calibrated.

"The more that you suffer, the more I enjoy it."

The subtle differences are woven into you, logical patterns encrypted so many times over even Kii-boy couldn’t reverse-engineer them consistently. (You'd hoped he might have been 'weird' enough to try. Sometimes your projection disappointment leaks through your facetious tone toward the worthless robot, like bloodstains seeping through the tight-bound fabric of a pristine white jacket—)

It all makes sense. It always has, to you. You cultivate this mysterious air around yourself gauged only on the reactions of other people, because it all tracks for you. Whatever is confusing them is a blind spot, and one you have learned (been programmed?) to deftly navigate.

Then there was him.

The fool, Gonta Gokuhara, was a liar. His stilted turns of phrase, infectious smile, bright eyes and penchant for staying gentle and patient with even the shortest-lived scum of the earth... it was a lie. It had to be a lie. You knew he was a liar, because, in over-excitable conversation amid the Others, you saw something familiar in his eyes. Gonta had to buffer for a moment and process the words around him before he'd react.

Just like you.

You had to keep an eye on him.

The facade he'd constructed was too kind, too manicured to be half as spotless as it purported to be. You had claimed him as your henchman under the guise of his utter gullibility, just to see what he would do. How he would manage to weasel his way out of your grasp and continue on with... whatever he was scheming. Nobody scrutinizes the sweet spice of cinnamon. Maybe he wasn't Mastermind material, but he was hiding something. You would find a way to force him to give you information. The how. The why, why-why-why Gonta had to be so damn likable to everyone he met, and how it just kept WORKING for him.

He called your bluff. He agreed. So you'd guessed you had a henchman.

Gonta never looked at you with the same inherent unease of your classmates, and never insisted he look you in the eye. All the better, as far as you’re concerned, eyes are the windows to the soul after all (and it gave you a brief reprieve from That Skin-Crawling Sensation, the two of you often either comfortably looking past one another or along the ground for some variety of insect you never could find.) The more you practiced obscuring your tells, the better a position you would place yourself in to lie strategically. The total lack of feedback from Gonta, a man apparently dead-set on taking you at your word no matter what, was counterbalanced by the lack of pressure around him. You knew at the time that the moment you let your guard down, the trap would snap and your neck could with it. It was a tempting facade, even so, master-manipulator Gokuhara so engrossed in his act with conviction Kirumi lacked, it was hard to remind yourself to keep him at arm's length.

After all, it's just the way of things. He's big, you're small, and the second you'd let down your defense would be the second you'd be stabbed in the back.

(It's true. It must be true! It has to be true, and you cannot forget it, because if you do not believe this is the truth then you leave yourself open for betrayal, and you cannot handle that from someone you started to think of as—)

You would augment the cognitive dissonance by saying something vile, snapping everyone to attention including him, and revel in slotting back into your proper place as the heel in this story. (But how much of that is really on your accord, and does it actually matter if the outcome is the same?)

You stayed close by one another when the class came together. It had the desirable effect of making the Others question your motives, certainly, making your station as Supreme Leader of Evil that much more obvious, but you'd be lying if you said it was purely for the tactical advantage. Not at this point. You stood by him because you could tell he understood. Getting too close to other people sets off magnets under your skin that gently nudge you in the opposite direction; you used to rock idly on your feet before you realized it was better to have a cause like boredom to blame. Keeping contact pupil-to-pupil can be an interrogation, and they'll have better luck cramming toothpicks under your fingernails than boring straight through your eye sockets with theirs. From the moment you met him, Gonta said nothing about your chronic inability to look at who you're talking to (or your penchant for approximating a look close enough next to them to subdue suspicion, because you cannot get through even small talk without at least an un-truth). You thought it may be a total lack of observational skills, but then he went and noticed the way you flinched accepting his "gentlemanly handshake".

It's a bizarre thing, bonding with an imperfect stranger over the course of a quarter of a conversation. You could sit at the lunch table without worrying about elbows toppling over an uncapped half-bottle of Panta, or stand in the library wanting to reach out but waiting for the crowd to disperse knowing nobody is going to trample you, and he brushes his hair out of his face while you curl your fingers into the smooth layers of your scarf and nobody says anything, and it's great.

Said, anything.

Then you killed him.

Hmm.

Gonta may have been a liar, but he doesn't have the heart for DICE, either. You liked that about him. He contorts himself to slot in to a puzzle he was not made for, shaving down slivers of cardboard with a pocketknife and worrying about completing the picture later, but he at least bothers with a base coat of paint. His mask is skin-tight; it's obvious he is not Other.

Somehow (infuriatingly) he turns that into an advantage.

He was strong, he was tall, things that can't be helped; he was cloyingly sweet to counterbalance the assumptions his stature set for him. Gonta created his persona the same way you did, but his conviction in the construct, in that lie, did not waver.

You wished you could be like that, too.

Gonta was his lie, as far as anyone else was concerned. Fully masked in an ecological niche much more interesting than the ones his precious bugs ever occupied, inherently self-debasing (to deal with the lowest form of creature willingly), pre-emptively humble (to deal with the guy nobody likes willingly) and praised all the more for it. Non-threatening, on purpose. Controlled. He has the capacity to do harm and hides it, so is that not itself a kind of lie?

You waited for the other shoe to drop.

But.

How was he not sick of you, everyone gets sick of you, YOU are sick of you–

Even as you saw the lively light drain from his digitized eyes, viscerally horrified by the flashes of atrocity you'd just shown him, he remained steadfast. Upset, clearly, but resolute. He chose to help you. He wanted to help all of you.

You suppose Gonta was the closest to “real” of all of you.

-------------------------------------

Kokichi scoffs, his back to the freshly-decorated interior of Class 79's homeroom. Simply surviving for a couple months as a class hardly seems like reason to celebrate, as far as he’s concerned, but the weather already vetoed “let us have class outside” and their homeroom teacher has no interest in fielding a riot. He lightly pulls on the sleeve of a borrowed jacket, noting the way woven fabric feels over his fingertips.

"I don't know what you're doing, but I am gonna get out of dodge. This is a Category Four shitstorm waiting to happen." He half-shrugs, not even passing a glance toward the gentle giant holding out his hand.

"G– Sorry. I'm sorry, Kokichi, I know you hate–"

"No." The boy smiles, lips drawn tight in contempt. "No, actually, that's not how this goes.” He taps his index finger to his chin, in faux-thought. “I mean, yeah, it's how this was always gonna go, but I'm pretty sick of scripts! You should be too."

Gonta looks over Kokichi for a moment. The small smattering of classmates in the room with the two of them look twice as confused as Gokuhara himself. He adjusts his glasses. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean," he says with practiced ease despite the tension in his throat.

It seems Ouma had expected him to back down by now. He smiles just as wide, but. Softer. Impressed?

"Aww, that's no fair! Can you believe it, a whole execution and Monokuma didn't even have the decency to knock some sense into you! I'll file a complaint for'ya," his expression hardens. (Pouring into a mold, too malleable to stand on its own.) He takes a step forward, then another. Favoring his left side, today.

There's a muffled 'you little menace, you can't talk to Gonta that way,' but glares from the other three bystanders in the room quickly convince her to save it. It's not that what he's saying is okay by any stretch; it's that Kokichi has completely avoided even looking at Gonta for a solid month, and there are few forces stronger than morbid curiosity.

Gonta takes back his hand, silent on the matter. Disappointed. But a true gentleman does not let petty emotion impede his work, particularly when his cohort is counting on him. Still, he watches Kokichi go.

Go on.

Go.

Kokichi... hesitates?

"You comin' or not?"

Of course, Gonta catches up within a couple strides. Ouma lacks the spoons to distract from the way his eye twitches.

"Hey, Dipshitticus, where the hell do you think you're going? Party starts in ten minutes," bellows Miu, not looking up from the pile of gears and fittings on her desk.

"Please, I got free reign of this place, ya' stupid whore~!" he chirps, though the venom has long since drained from those words. "I'll kidnap who I want. Call it 'talent development', if you gotta. Besides, I finally figured out why girls always go to the bathroom in groups! I mean, someone’s gotta call Tsumiki-chan in case you pass out and bang your head on the way down, right?"

Click. Pop, goes the foot of his cane, rubber peeling from tile pronounced in the stunned silence of the room. He turns the corner.

Gonta elects to follow.

The pair of them walk down the emptying hall for a good half-minute as the remaining students settle in their own classrooms, stopping at a set of chairs in the hallway. It’s a bright “study space”, a corner lit by incandescent yellow light with gaudy chartreuse couches a little too stiff to qualify as proper furniture that nonetheless provide an oasis when you’ve been walking long enough. Gonta nearly trips on the coffee table in the center, too low to write on and just low enough to hit below the kneecap.

This little corner of Hope’s Peak is surrounded by long windows overlooking little other than sidewalk. The sun-catching ornaments hanging from the ceiling are depressed by the dark blue-grays of the overcast sunrise. The heavy, hazy feeling to the air glazes over the glass; the insects outside are surely taking shelter.

Gonta takes a seat, twiddling his thumbs.

“Gon— I. You were bluffing.” Gonta shakes his head, looking nervously over his shoulder. Properly. Knees together, sitting up straight, arm kept loose at his side in case Kokichi needs to lean on him. Adamantly, the boy does not. In fact, Kokichi sits across from Gonta with his feet up on the table, ankles crossed. The position will become incredibly uncomfortable in a few minutes, but it’s about looking nonchalant, not being.

“You aren’t gonna get in trouble, you’re with me. Not a lie. They kinda owe me big time,” Kokichi shrugs. “Even Ishimaru-chan knows better than to call me out at this point. I hope he swings by, the look on his face knowing he can’t turn me in is amazing.”

“It would be terribly inappropriate to get in trouble, G— I don’t want to mess up my permanent record if I don’t need to, but it’d still be worth it to help a friend! A gentleman puts his friends first,” Gonta nods, sounding more certain of this than Kokichi has ever been about anything. “Besides, Taka is Gonta’s friend! Gonta is sure if he were to explain Kokichi has a good reason to be out of place, there would be no problem.”

A ha-second later, Gonta cringes, softly berating himself under his breath.

“You don’t have to correct it every time, you know. If it’s part of whoever you are now, everybody else can deal.”

“, , Gonta… isn’t sure how to feel about it. Knowing he’s the only one talking in third-person this way make. Makes, it seem. Like he’s not trying enough to be normal? But he’s too used to it to stop without thinking about it,” Gonta sighs.

“Nah. Just another TAPP side-effect. Well. At least that's the story I'd stick to. Dunno what you think a Gentleman does, but considering you aren’t currently an aristocratic asshole lounging in his ivory tower I’d say it’s good that you’re wrong.”

It takes Gonta a moment to take that one apart and put it back together. (Kokichi, seeing so, takes a second to stare blankly ahead and do the same. He will deny it.)

“G-Gonta is wrong about being a gentleman? How so! Gonta’s classmates haven’t told him he wasn’t following the rules correctly.”

Kokichi shakes his head.

“You’re not missing anything, really. That's no lie. You know Togami-chan? The short, pouty one.”

“Gonta thought the twins were the same height… ?”

“Not the point. The one with a stick up his ass, that’s what some people think of when they hear ‘gentleman’, so you’re actually ahead of the curve, believe it or not.” Kokichi picks at his nailpolish. Then at the shredded cuticles beneath.

Gonta considers this for a moment, looking the Lying Liar Who Lies up and down. He searches through his pocket, for a moment.

Kokichi is intrigued. He sits up, elbows on his knees. “Ooh, what’cha doin’?”

Gonta comes up with a crumpled bandage or two and a small thing of vapor rub. He puts the latter away; bug bites don’t seem to be the issue, here.

“Alright, then. Keep your secrets,” Kokichi rolls his eyes, Annoyed (peeking over to Gonta with a more neutral expression awaiting his response. Nothing.)

“Kokichi is bleeding,” Gonta says, eyes wide with concern. He holds out the bandages. “Please take some care of it?”

Kokichi looks baffled for a moment, eyes flicking down to his fingers. Huh. Oh yeah….

He takes the bandages, not looking away from Gonta’s expression the entire time he dresses the small wounds with bumblebee-stripes and monarch wings.

Gonta lets his broad shoulders relax. Kokichi finds his own do too, though he hadn’t noticed he'd been tense in the first place.

“Thanks,” Ouma mutters into the galaxy-print lining of his sleeve.

“Thank you for letting Gonta know he's not too stuck-up to talk to,” Gonta half-laughs.

Silence.

“… he does wish that Kokichi could say something nice without needing to say something mean about someone else,” Gonta offers softly with his head down. He winces with anticipation.

Kokichi merely blinks.

“Yeah, well. Well. I thought you people didn’t like lies to spare your feelings, I’m getting major mixed signals!” he shrugs into the jacket.

"That okay. Gonta. Gonta get signals mixed up too, all the time," the boy smiles, much too meek for his stature. It looks as though it could shatter at the lightest touch.

Ouma tilts his head, eyeing it with a sledgehammer.

"... You wanna know the truth?"

Gonta nods. It's a rare opportunity, isn't it?

"I thought you knew."

Kokichi mumbles the inane little phrase, and his chest heaves like he's pushed a boulder off of himself.

He knows in his heart Gonta will look at him confused if he lifts his head from this spot, still staring at the gaudy nineties-office carpet between them. He knows he will not be able to handle it.

Gonta, however, merely nods again.

"Gonta should have known. If Gonta were smart, he would have known. He would have tried harder to save everyone, instead of. Let Monokuma make him 'leave.'"

"Stop that."

Kokichi's ragged nails dig into the armrest beside him. He is seething, but does not raise his voice.

"Gonta sorry–"

"You, do not apologize, to me."

Gonta nods, nods, biting his lip to hide how it quivers, pulling at the ends of long locks of hair.

Violet eyes ignite.

"You just won't get it, will you? Oh, you can, you just don't want to. You should be angry at me. I treated you like shit, and it was not okay! You keep blaming yourself, but how the hell were you supposed to know what would happen?" he throws his hands in front of him, the thoughts flooding out into the empty space. "They didn't even let you remember computers! They actively took that when they re-made you, that cannot be on you, it’s just playing dirty!”

“There’s lots other people know that Gonta does not, though…,” Gonta hiccups, struggling to keep composure.

“None of us knew what swapping the cords would do. Miu fixed the damn thing, and she didn’t know. You didn’t say to yourself ‘hmm, I think I’ll wipe my own memory of the past few hours for funsies and make life harder on myself’n everybody because I can,’ so why should you apologize for it?”

“… B-Because it still happened. It was Gonta’s fault!”

Kokichi pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. (Jeez, you suck at this whole “reassurance” thing. Some leader you’ll make.)

“Okay. You know what, okay, let’s say– just humor me here– that it was your fault, even though it wasn’t on purpose. Why the hell would anyone be mad about it?”

“Because Gonta couldn’t. Couldn’t, either defend himself or, o-r turn himself in, whichever helps classmates!” Gonta croaks out, shaking his head.

(You were going to mercy-kill them all. That’s what your Alter Ego said. You would save them from the killing game by getting it over with. You were the person who proposed that. Just thinking about it now has you sick to your stomach, wracked with grief over a crime gone un-committed, but you have the blessing of hindsight. In the moment, you know you would have done it. You would have, had you not forgotten everything coming out of the simulation, and as much as you want to deny it, pretending you never could have done something so vile is insulting. You can’t insult your friends that way. You only wanted to help. Your heart aches on.

Or maybe that’s old wounds acting up again. They feel nearly the same.)

Kokichi looks at a shell-shocked Gonta and sighs. It would be all too easy to pull one over on him now, to claim this was the reaction he wanted and walk away, to convince Gonta to stay away from him lest he get himself hurt.

But something inside him refuses. A feeling he first can recall feeling on the cold metal slab of the press, not. Remorse, but guilt. He cannot say he regrets letting Gonta take the fall if it got them closer to ending the killing game for good. That does not mean he wanted this.

Kokichi offers Gonta his checkerboard scarf to dry his tears. Wordless. He looks away, but hesitates to stand.

“… Kokichi–?” Gonta stammers, counting how long to hold his breath in little intervals. It tends to help with getting his emotions back in check.

“Call it forgiven,” Kokichi sighs. “Miu has already. You should know that. You talk to her enough. The rest of the class has too, ask any one of them. The only one who hasn’t is you.”

Gonta gently wraps the scarf around balled-up fists, running the smooth texture over rough calluses. Kokichi says nothing of it.

“Gonta killed Miu, and didn’t follow through on helping. Gonta hurt Miu for no reason.”

“You kept her from killing me,” Kokichi leans back, pulling his arms through the sleeves and covering himself in the jacket like it’s a cape. “Can you call that nothing?”

“You died anyway!”

“So did most people. Miu probably would have too, if it hadn’t been to you. And look around. Turns out, you got the two of you out early. Right?”

The stormclouds overhead crackle with streaks of lightning, arcs of electricity refracting through the raindrops on the outside of the glass in fractal patterns of organized chaos.

(The sky here still doesn’t feel real, some days.)

The pair look at each other for a long moment, each daring the other to bend first.

To look away,

or even just to blink.

The rain pitter-patters in the gutter above, rolling lazily down the window pane.

“… But that’s a lie,” Kokichi says. Without leaving room for objection, he carries on: “Because I killed you both.”

Gonta knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Kokichi had meant it when he said he was willing to be executed instead. He knows those tears had to be real because, with no audience to sway and no strategic advantage to gain, Kokichi is making the very same expression right now. Only this time, without being overwhelmed by the stakes, he’s a bit more successful at keeping the tears at bay.

“Gonta don’t think so! Gonta killed Miu, with his hands, and Monokuma k–”

“I got you killed!” Ouma’s composure snaps. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice so much, but such is life. “It was my fault for showing you the flashback light, it was all bullshit, I should have KNOWN it might be bullshit, why get you involved! To save myself? Like I’d ever make it to the end? Stupid! It was a stupid, impulsive non-plan, because I panicked, and it killed the two people that actually gave a shit about me, and how can you call yourself a leader after a fuck-up like that?”

He hiccups, shaking his head.

“I-It's okay, Ouma. See? Gonta is fine, now. Miu is fine….” Gonta tries to placate him, but getting any closer only makes Kokichi curl in on himself more.

“No. No-no-no-no I kn, I knew this would happen, that’s not even conceit I just know I have no idea how to convince you to give a damn about yourself and talk about this without making it about me, it’s about you, and Miu, and you have no reason to comfort me right now,” he points at Gonta.

Caught in the same spiral of teary-eyed, frantic breathing as Gonta was not long before.

“… In for four, hold for eight, out for four,” Gonta nods, matter-of-fact.

Kokichi wants nothing more than to wink out of existence entirely, not die, just disappear as though he’d never happened at all flip him the hell off for the audacity to give orders to his commander, but he is left with little choice than to comply if he wants any chance of saving face.

Fine. In for four, hold for eight. Out for four.

Silence.

Has the rain stopped overhead?

“Miss Marigold told Gonta to try breathing differently last he went to visit,” Gokuhara offers.

“… She’s right about a lot of things,” Kokichi nods, losing any trace of weeping. Their group therapist was, if nothing else, an interesting woman. Enough to consider in passing, even if not to her face.

“You deserve a better apology than I can give you,” Kokichi’s voice crackles. “I should be sorry. And. I am, but I’m. Not? I didn’t want you dead. But I still wanted to live. I didn’t want Miu dead, but it had to happen. I didn’t want anybody dead, I thought you knew what happened going into the trial. Okay? I fucked up, really bad, and I’m sorry it didn’t work. I’m sorry my plan B was to say a ton of shit I didn’t believe in, and have that all go down the drain too, I’m. Sorry I failed you,” he picks his head up. He looks at the bridge of Gonta’s glasses.

It hurts to smile, but it’s all he really knows how to do.

Gonta ponders this, for a moment.

As breathless seconds tick by, Kokichi finds himself trapped in an eternity of personal hell.

(Why do you care what he thinks so much? Why have you? You’ve lost the right to ask anything more of him, for certain, so why do you need to hear what comes next?)

“… Kaito punched me after. Which. Fair. Y-ou can get a shot in too, if you want,” he tries to laugh, but the sound is strangled beyond recognition.

“Is Gonta still that scary?” Gokuhara says without hesitation, a sorrowful look on his face. “Gonta sorry! Gonta doesn't want to escalate things that way! Not ever!”

“No. You aren’t, Gonta.” (And that’s a lie, but it’s not his stature that’s scaring you. Or anything about him at all, save the idea of his scorn.)

“Good! Gonta won’t hurt Kokichi. Kokichi hurts enough anyway,” he nods, still processing. Now he’s doing it out loud. “Gonta knows Kokichi won’t want him to say ‘sorry’ again, and Kokichi probably doesn’t accept forgiveness either. Yeah?”

Kokichi blinks. Over and over, as though it were somehow an answer.

“Gonta takes that as ‘yes,’” Gokuhara says, smiling. “That's okay. Gonta is… a little mad, at Kokichi. Not because he tells Gonta to be mad! But in Gonta’s feelings,” he looks down at the table. He nods to bolster his spirits, reassure himself. “Gonta wanted to talk to Kokichi a long time ago, but Kokichi always walks away. Kokichi pretends Gonta is not there, and it feels… really bad. Gonta is glad Kokichi stopped to talk to him now, even if he is still a little mad.”

This, apparently, Does Not Compute. Kokichi’s expression turns blank, utterly uncertain of what to do with itself. Kokichi is too busy puzzling things out to worry about performing the appropriate face.

“You don’t. H-Hate,,”

“Gonta don’t want hate you. Not before, not now.” Gonta looks off at the wall above Kokichi’s head for a moment. He puts on his best imitation, clumsy but sincere– “It’s true!”

Kokichi laughs harder than he has in ages. Gonta beams.

“Alright. Alright, what do you want, though? For now, for later, for the good of the order,, ?”

“Hmm,” Gonta enunciates, just so Kokichi doesn’t look quite so lost again. “Gonta wants… to be. Friends? Sometime. Not all at once, but some time. If Kokichi wants, too.” After a small deliberation, he adds: “Not henchman. Not subordinate. Gonta will listen to Kokichi sometimes, but if Gonta doesn’t want to he won’t! And if he does, he will.”

Kokichi gathers up the energy to make an Appropriately Large Display of ‘thinking this over’ before finally letting himself say “I think I can manage that. You drive a hard bargain, Gokuhara-chan! But who am I to deny a fine negotiator?”

Gonta’s expression turns sullen again, a hair’s breadth from whispering ‘oh, it’s okay, you can if you want to I don’t want to impose,’ only for him to nod with the realization. He gets a little starry-eyed with the approval. Kokichi makes a mental note.

“Well, bet you the party’s started by now. Do you feel like elbowing your way back in to a loud, crowded classroom, or do you wanna come look at worms on the sidewalk with me?” Kokichi smirks, like it’s a forgone conclusion.

Gonta is so, so tempted to go with his gut instinct, but. No. Consider what Miss Marigold has been telling you. What Kokichi told you, too, care about yourself. What is it you want?

“Earthworm is an annelid, totally separate phylum from arthropoda– ‘bugs’ go in arthropoda, separate clade too since arthropods have no evidence of spiral cleavage in the makeup of bodies during early development. Earthworm is more like mollusk than bug, more in common with octopus than bumblebee, evolutionarily. In fact, ‘true bug’ classification does not even include bees, or flies, or most colloquial ‘bugs’!”

Kokichi rests his chin on his right arm, having put his jacket back on properly. “Okay. Mm-hmm… d. Do you wanna, though?”

“Gonta would be happy to escort you,” he nods, standing up. Gonta offers his arm to Kokichi.

Kokichi takes it, but still pulls himself up. Progress.

“Such a gentleman,” Kokichi says in a teasing tone too-tainted with a twinge of sincerity. “You were saying?”

Gonta, on his own terms, is happy to oblige.

The checkered scarf stays tucked into the front pocket of Gonta’s suit, Kokichi’s fingers are covered in insect-patterned bandages, and nobody says anything of it.

[msnoblesix]

👍 🤲 ✌️ and 🖕 for Belsuthe OR whoever you're most feeling!!

YAYY thank you frenchy! I'll just go Belsuthe because I have the cos bug atm

👍 - what (if any) is a good, safe touch for your character?

As with anything, it depends on what she thinks of you BUT generally Belsuthe is ok with most casual forms of contact! i.e. a pat on the shoulder (for those who can reach), grabbing her arm/hand, tugging at her clothes to get her attention, etc. I picture her as a very physical person. To her, words are fine but gestures and actions can convey so much more.

🤲 - is your character better at receiving touch or giving it? under what circumstances?

Hmmm this is a copout answer but both? She will often use physical contact to convey an emotion more strongly such as placing a hand on someone's shoulder to check that they're alright or hold someone's hands to convey sincerity. Likewise, she enjoys receiving physical contact, whether that's a head resting against her arm or someone playing with her hair :^)

✌️ - are there any gestures or touches that your character shares with a friend/team/loved one that are a type of code between them

Belsuthe used to press her forehead against another's, just generally as a sign to say 'i care deeply for you and wish to enjoy this shared moment' but could more broadly be interpreted as a hello, goodbye, i love you, etc. This was usually something she shared with her clan, particularly her sister, her brother-in-law and her nephew. However, she hasn't done so in some time!

🖕 - someone touches your character in a way that’s rude or that they just don’t like (i.e. shoves past them, etc). what do they do?

Godspeed to the individual that tries to shove past Belsuthe it'd be like hitting a wall BUT usually Belsuthe just brushes it off, or might make a joke or two about it. She's not easily moved (literally and emotionally) by silly little things like that. If she's already in a foul mood, she might return serve, but it'd take a lot for her to be willing to do that.

[miqojak]

What’s their love languages? / What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

OC Ship Asks

@irisopranta for also asking the second one!

(( In which I gush about the effects @throneoflevin 's Ketsuchi has had on Jak over the years! ))

Her love language is, perhaps shockingly, acts of service! A good bit of it is cultural, and how doting she saw her parents being with each other (I'm sick of seeing negative representations of Seeker life!) - but her tribe really valued everyone pitching in, and taking care of one another! Life in the desert is rough - so true care is taking that time and effort you could use for yourself/your own survival, and giving it to your family/those who matter most!

There's also the fact that she is a rather selfish person these days, who doesn't care how her words or actions affect others - she is who she is, and fuck what others think! So... what's more telling than an egotistical, powerful person being willing to serve another, to show their devotion? Caring what that person thinks, and going out of your way to do for them - something you wouldn't do for anyone else. She's never really understood (romantic) love, never really believed in it! And while neither she nor her partner will say the L word, nor even truly call what they have dating... they are both powerful, action-oriented people easily intimidated by the perceived finality/vulnerability that words feel like they bring (she also thinks he would feel like he's betraying his dead wife if he said he loved Jak, but she's okay with that - she never expected anyone to love her, so it's already mind-blowing to her that he cares about her!).

All that said, behind closed doors she loves to cook for him... and given that she loves hot baths? She adores long, hot baths with her 'Wolf' - and bathing him! It's not even about sex so much (initially) as it is the intimacy of washing this person to whom she has given herself, and being vulnerable - showing him that she's putting him first, and listening to him, and valuing him... as much as she values herself, if not more. They've actually verbally agreed that their actions say everything to one another that they need to know!

As for the reminder of him? That came about once they stopped posturing and fighting so much, and really sort of committed to genuinely letting their walls down for one another - not only did she give him a key to her home... but she got a tattoo that represents a nickname he gave her (a once sort of mean-spirited tease that's become a 'pet name' now really xD) - of a robin! It's a watercolor robin in flight, under her left breast, across her rib cage! And a fun secret about her tats is that they all represent a facet of herself! So it was MASSIVE that she put something permanent on her body, for one, that's out of affection and devotion to another person; it's HUGE because she railed against this moniker for so long; it's mind-blowing, really, because that... to her, is...almost like admitting to a measure of 'control' that someone else has in her life, it's admitting that the 'Little Robin' is, in fact, a facet of her, and a facet of her that's just for him. And an even more fun fact about it all is that her sketchbook is essential to her, and the only people that tend to end up in it are ones that are important to her - and perhaps most notably, she never uses color...except on his portraits, where she colors his eyes. Also notable is that none of her tattoos have color... except that robin. I don't think she knows how to articulate it, but he... brings color to an otherwise unbearably droll existence. He... gave her reasons to fight. Reasons to live... when she had none. So yes - she quite literally carries him close to her heart, his influence imprinted in her flesh not just in levin scarring, but in her own acknowledgement of his impact/influence. (Though that is all very sweet, if it were phrased that way to her, she'd probably roll her eyes at the romanticized language used, lol)