#to quote john mulaney

[kindred-spirit-93]

leto (¬‿¬)

my hand slipped and i uh. @sporadicallyanenthusiast

i have no idea whats going on with her dress lol it just happened, also ignore her arm i cant anatomy :')

and her ring :3

God grant me the wisdom to not make an entire scrapbooks worth of moodboards and leto lore lol i really need to go study hgfdsdfghgf :')

[lemonnbug]

who wants to go to the Rainforest Cafe and spend an evening of fine dining with me? I'll buy you a souvenir with your name on it

[rigorwhoretis]

“what’s your tumblr?” not unless you get real cool with a bunch of stuff really quickly

[stargiirl27]

I GOT MY VOTING BALLOT TODAY VOTE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU CAN

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jason: Hey do you remember that time you asked me for help?

Tim:

[gaytommykinard]

the old guard + john mulaney quotes [extended edition]

[crookedmime]

Like he wanted me to set him up with somebody.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Cyclone: Maverick, what's this email response you sent me about? Maverick: I...never sent you an email response to anything recently, sir...? (Cyclone turns his monitor so Maverick can read the email he allegedly sent) Email:..."I don't know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day. I am very small, and I have no money - so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under." (Maverick glares at the computer) Cyclone:...So, can you tell me what exactly this means, Captain? Maverick:....It means, sir, that Admiral Ron Kerner learned how to hack into my email. Cyclone: I'm guessing you hacked into his first? Maverick: That's not the point -

[obscurelittlebird]

[chaoticace2005]

Hazbin Hotel characters as John Mulaney quotes part 1:

(Part 2 3 4)

Alastor: I made a salad with craisins!

Charlie, about Vaggie: She and I have totally different styles. When my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. She’s my hero. When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s running for mayor of nothing.

Lucifer: Also, I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don���t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

Vaggie: Shut up, you’re all gonna die. Street smarts!

Angel: I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.

Niffty: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?

Husk: Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014! I just all day long I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.

Sir Pentious: Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?

[montic0]

The Apothecary Diaries

It's almost funny how canon this is

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

indiana jones whenever he sees mad mikkelsen:

[allastoredeer]

I never thought about it, but you're right! Alastor has strong John Mulaney Energy.

To the point where I can absolutely see this: Angel: *Holding an odd looking antique bottle with amber liquid that was tucked in the back of the hotel bar counter.*

"Hey, do you think this is alcohol or perfume?"

Alastor: *Already more than a little tipsy. Snatches the bottle, pops the stopper, and chugs the whole thing in less than 30 seconds.*

"....Perfume."

*Crashes to the floor.*

God, I need to draw or make an animatic of Alastor with John Mulaney skits. You know the one about the kid who stole family photos? I can imagine that between Alastor and Lucifer, and all the family photos are of the Morningstar family. He’s even got that huge portrait in there.

And Lucifer just: why

[arcane-jinx-2024]

Vi:

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jason Todd, getting 'surprise adopted' by Batman, who is apparently also Bruce Wayne, the lovable idiot billionaire:

[howfrightening]

Trevor: I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her, that is not true!

Trevor: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much!