#to me im connecting dots but idk if this means anything

[wisteriander]

“they’re fucking animals” “you shouldn’t let them have a funeral; it makes them feel like people” “innies tend to thrive in an environment of structure” they’re you!!!!!!!!!!! they’re literally you!!!!!!!!!!!! there is no “them” there is no “other” any harm you do to them you only do to yourself… 

severance really puts front and center the human tendency to dismiss any pain we can’t see or to justify the harm we do to others because that harm is “actually good for them” or because “i know better” but when the THEM is literally YOU it illuminates how stupid and shallow and ignorant that mentality is. you can claim they’re not a person but they’re literally you…..

[hibiscusseaart]

Had a dream today and I'm evolving it as I go here

The main idea that Rin didn't die when she tried to unalive herself by Kakashi's hand, but Obito was already traumatized and got in with Madara's Moon Eye plan. So yada-yada, she's the jinchuriki of Sanbi. BUT the difference was that she decided to come out of the closet (a real tight one cuz of her clan but she almost just DIED what to regret now) that she's actually a guy. So FTM Rin guys. Rin is he/him from now on.

He wouldn't change his personality and crush on Kakashi much. Dude is a medic, have you met medics? My extended family has a lot of medics in ER and other and let me tell you, they're ruthless and give 0 fucks.

Oh and since he's a medic he has top notch access to remove his own boobs and change his hormones fucking manually.

I think he would rethink his crush on Kakashi, like, man, he's a loser, plus it's hard to crush on someone who you thought killed you (even tho you made him) AND Kakashi has doomed love with 'dead' Obito and it's a bummer.

Idk about his name tho, he probably would change it just to, unknowingly, create more confusion for poor Obito, who is SURE that Rin is dead-dead and fucking Konoha didn't even made a grave for her and Kakashi doesn't even VISIT.

Madara and Zetsu obviously don't tell him about his development. They don't need him to have a hope in this world again.

Kakashi is just glad that he didn't kill his teammate and maybe they connect better since "Rin" (listen i NEED a name for him, but i have 0 ideas about meaning or what ever. maybe he'd take something to honor Obito's memory?) doesn't crush on him anymore and maybe he's trans too?? idk about it yet but he might act warmer to "Rin" now.

So Obito is just confused, like WHO is this dude from Nohara clan who is now with Kakashi ALL the time (they're still best friends). He doesn't connect that this brown haired (!) medic (!!) from Nohara clan (!!!) with the same marks (!!!) same age as them (!!!!!) might be Rin. like no, nope, Rin a nice gentle lady, not this smoking dude who yells at Kakashi and curses at him cuz he run away from hospital again.

So yeah Obito is just not impressed. But intrigued. And jealous. He stalks Kakashi AND this guy all the time. May develop a crush on both, cuz "Rin" is still the same at his core.

Kakashi would still go in ANBU cuz Minato asked him (still not sure about it, like yeah lets put deeply traumatized 13 yo in assasin squad good job) and stuff.

So idk how canon would go from there, like i doubt that Minato would let 14 yo jinchuriki near another one at this tense situation, even tho "Rin" could've help.

So yeah Kushiha and Minato die, "Rin" barely holds onto the Sanbi but Obito finds out that the guy is holding them. He doesn't connects the dots. Or he does? His mind just CAN'T hold on to the fact that his Rin MIGHT survived.

But maybe "Rin" was closer to the place where they sealed Kuubi in Naruto (maybe he ran there cuz there's Kuubi rampaging and he HAS to help) so Minato entrusted Naruto to him, not to fucking Sandaime.

So yeah, now "Rin" is Naruto's legal dad at the age of 14 and no one can fucking take him away cuz a) it was Minato's dying wish; and b) just fucking TRY to peer "Rin" away from Naruto, you'll get your hand bitten off and NO arguments work, cuz "Rin", who was trained by Kushina in jinchuriki stuff, can make some sort of turtle shield and he hides in it with his new baby and no one can do anything.

And no one can protect baby jinchuriki better than the other jinchuriki so it's fine. Everyone just accepts it.

(Isobu laughs at Kurama cuz haha im the older sibling now :))

Naruto is bullied less but I think no one can tell him about his parents cuz Sandaime sucks ass. But "Rin" drops HUGE hints cuz he hates Sandaime now too. Like no shit Tsunade left.

Idk what would happen with Obito if he finds out about "Rin's" identity. he'd come back crawling and crying probably. Maybe try to kidnap him and cry more in Kamui.

update: added sketch

[exhosionn]

i’ve been here for a while and i still don’t know how to use this app anyways i need somewhere to post all my really random sampard headcannons so here we are honestly it’s really just random bullet points i’ve compiled and also most of this was written at 2am so there might be some spelling mistakes.. probably one other thing to mention, im not a lore reader,, i’ve been trying to recently because i find it really interesting but any details i’ve missed is bc i haven’t read it all yet 💔💔

gepard although hes not too great at taking plants (hes def trying tho) id like to think in his spare time he has like a book on floriography and goes to flower shops to buy sampo flowers with specific meanings?(like he goes to a flower shop and requests very specific types of flower arrangements)

sampo knows a LOT of things about belebog that no one else does some kind of like historical knowledge however i think the reason why sampo wont actually KNOw any floropgraphy is because with all his vast knowledge from across the universe as a masked fool, why would he bother to know something as ‘mundane’ as the meaning behind flowers.

to link to that, i think with sampos big world he sorrta gets dragged down to belebog in like a nice way and through gepard learns that the small things in life ACTUALLY matter or they noow matter. so for example these flowers he gets he never knows the meaning of them, def gets flustered by gepard initiating anything at all lmao.

i think sampo would ask around the underworld such as natasha, seele, even hook tbh about the meaning behind these flowers usually getting information from natasha. BUT he doesnt just outright ask he would like slip it into conversation because hes sly like that. Natasha very obviously catches on quite early on and although shes not as knowledgeable with the meanings she still retains enough information for sampo to start relying on her to help decode gepards bouquet.

one way or another serval catches wind of this (through natasha) and i think thats how she connects the dots

sampo most definitely leaves back notes with kisses on them on gepards windowsill (gep leaves his windows unlocked always.)

i can also imagine sampo to ‘retaliate’ somehow finding some extinct belobog flower and gifting it to geppie being all like ‘i bet ya can’t find the meaning behind this one’ lolll

gepard is a gay in denial in the sense that hes never had a crush on a woman but he sees madam poisson and he has a MASSIVE crush on her. everytime serval asks him if hes gay he brings up his ‘past’ crush on madam poisson.

gepard the 'nuh-uh' vs serval the 'yuh-huh’

serval has gepard as "gay man sighted in belobog" in her phone - sampard nation gave me these last two

serval and natasha they totally hang out at natasha’s clinic occasionally idk why i just see it

sampo kisses the scars on geps body

gep is taller w shoes one but actually shorter than sampo usually but no one believes sampo when he says thisn bc no one sees gep without his boots off.

sampo could be having the most absolute worst day and see gepard and feel beter same works for gepard except he doesnt realise it as much because gepard is more like ‘huh my headache clears from seeing sampo yeah he just uh annoys me so much that i think my heacache is clearing hahahaha’

soarkle and sampo sibling dynamic seems really funny but at times i also dont see it if we apply the whole sampo might be an emanator theory idk i think its silly at times but sometime it doesnt make sense….

on the other hand although it doesnt logically work sampo and seele sibling dynamic i actually really like it like a lot

i feel like gepard wears grampa pajamas?

although gepard def gets flustered by sampos flirting all the time, the one who actually initiated anything i believe would be gepard (ill go more into why i think so at a later date)

both of them are really light sleepers and have trouble sleeping all the time

also gep likes to hold onto sampo a lot when they fall asleep cuz he get scared that sampo might just leave randomly

i love these two sosososo much im going insane i need more headcannons to fill the brainrot

[vonbabbitt]

honestly with all the blatant disrespect towards your stated wishes and your vision as a creator that goes on in this fandom (harassing you over the video titles/thumbnails, endless off-topic posting, the recent leaks thing, etc) I'm starting to think you should just like. take down tetro for a while, or put it behind a paywall, idk, SOMETHING to show the ungrateful little shits that actions have consequences and that getting to experience the product of your hard work is a privilege not a right

i hesitated to answer this ask because i dont want to put myself or anon in a position to get absolutely blasted in the notes but

without saying anything that will make me look ungrateful.........thank you for your passion, anon. LMAO

no but in truth: obviously i do not love it when people do things like constantly hound me about my thumbnails or actively tell other people in my discord server how to seek out tetro leaks. its very very uncool.

i think in the fangan community in general theres this massive entitlement surrounding other people's projects. fangans are unmonetizable. writers and directors and artists and musicians and voice actors dont get paid for any of this. if youre going to make a fangan you need to be running entirely off of passion, which a lot of people dont seem to understand or just dont care about ig?? they dont seem to connect the dots on the fact that if the staff team arent enjoying themselves anymore and working on the project is making them upset, the project will end and you will not be able to enjoy it anymore

im really grateful for the tetro fans but i do wish people would show a little more respect for fangan creators as a whole. the content is free. theres no need to put random indie creators on blast for their unmonetizable fan projects.

which, again, is not to say i dont love my tetronians!! truly i do. i will not be revoking tetro because of a vocal minority. but sometimes it gets a bit disheartening to get hit with the 100th "change your fangan to fit my preferences" message or the "hey guys here's how you get tetro leaks" message or the "guys von said x thing or refused to say x thing that means THIS GUY IS DEFINITELY DYING!!" message

lets just all be nice to each other ig. tetro makes me tired sometimes i think

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Is there a ship you DON’t like? From what I've seen you seem to like many, even J x N from what I understood!

hmm. good question uhhh XD k here we go uh.

i dont usually like to talk about ships i DONT like because i dont wanna ruin anyone elses experience- its just unnecessary and unless somone asks me specifically i wouldnt share.

[also under cut cuz i ramble alot lmao]

can you tell im very enthusiastic about shipping and character dynamics? 🥺👉👈

now codegold and Jenvy and fullcompany or Luzi or Vhad even are all crackships, hell even Jessa is almost in the crackship area because some of the characters involved are either not fully developed or did not have any significant screentime and its up to the fan/consumer/writer to make their own assumptions and character developments.

i vibe with almost... most crackships? lol, because the fact that they are between characters who have very little canonical and/or meaningful interactions, therefore as a writer i get to think and develop my own interactions where... things yknow... "DEVELOP" XD like how some ppl take backgeound characters from mlp and give them and entire lore and backstory XD

like J and Tessa and even Thad who were very one dimensional and barely there. we cant even talk about J cuz liam straight up assasinated her entire poor fucking character. she has no rhyme or reason or purpose for doing any of the things she did thats why its not easy to like her for the sake of liking her.

meanwhile everyone likes villains like azula, idk catra, bill cypher, invader zim- not necessarily cuz they "have backstories" but because they made SENSE in their respective settings and what people KNEW of them. J.... J makes no sense 😭 Liam essentially didnt give us anything on her for us to connect any dots about her- especially not after somewhat hyping the character up to be AS important as the other cast but then she was just... literally tossed in the scrap dump of the planet. also Thad and a bit of Lizzy and Doll- ive been trying to develop them for a few weeks now for my MD re-writing plans and it has been HARDDD they make no sense in a setting where everything is just for gags and jokes.

but i digress- what i mean to say is- i like crackships cuz i get to MAKE the characters as i enjoy them >:"3 i love writing and doing character studies!

this all being said... i dont blame people for disliking a ship. for some reason shipping characters from shows fucking takes away years of your life- esp when you see one you dislike and your brain cant even bring a goddamn reason for why you hate the ship in the first place- so i genuinely advise people who dislike a ship to just avoid it- breathe XD maybe block the tags- dont interact so the algorythm doesnt try to bother you- tell your friends to not talk about it with you maybe- and overall internet hygiene- you dont need to try and convince yourself to like it unless you want to- but dont bother others about it.

and with all this being said now the ships "I" personally dislike are...

Vizzy, Noll, and Khori....

.....yep.

i wont elaborate on WHY i dislike them so much to the point that i had to unfollow some people just to maintain my sanity, but the thing is sometimes brain isnt convinced with "logic" so big whoop 🤷‍♀️ such is life. hope people who enjoy them have fun tho<3

hope this was helpful 👌

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

what happens to nhw after muse? like, publicity wise. especially regarding ashe. idk if you talked about it before or not, i remember seeing things about like. nhw tv appearances and such, but i don't remember if there was anything specifically regarding the pr nightmare of a boy getting mused and going on a murder spree like a localized natural disaster

do they make him go on tv and talk about it? do they rebrand? both? what happens here. i mean it would suck for ashe no matter what probably but yeha

OH NY GOD. I FORGOT I NEVER ANSWERED THIS IM SO SORRY. in my defense i got sick and my brain has been goop since like. sunday. not even going to put this one under a cut everyone gets to see my muse ramblings (muse musings. ha)

ANYWAY. SO. FIRST OFF. nobody knows who he is !!!! to the general public, muse and auxiliary are two different people, and like... there's not really anything there to tie them together. aux's costume was so like bulky full coverage that his identity was Very much hidden, and muse like.... doesn't hide his face at all, but at the same time he's not Ashe because ashe doesn't dress like that or do his hair or makeup like that so. even though his face is on full display I don't think anyone other than his family/friends would make that immediate connection either

obviously like... the prt knows what happened, because of course the wards needed to tell them. publicity-wise, as far as the public is concerned, auxiliary was killed. aux is dead. you remember that one interlude from Vista's pov where she had to look at the greyed out memorial images of the wards who were killed in the leviathan battle? yeah imagine one of those for aux. as far as anyone else knows he died in the fight with overlord (lmao. not like anyone could distinguish identifiable corpses from that mess anyway)

we have played with the idea a few times about a few different topics that there's a subsection of conspiracy theorists on parahumans online that actually connect the dots and get everything right (aux and muse being the same person, Tide and magma being made from the endbringers, etc etc stuff like that that isn't supposed to be public knowledge) but it's extremely funny if they're just a weird fringe group of freaks so nobody ever takes them seriously

the idea that after ashe gets back from being mused and has to go on TV about it makes me so fucking SICK btw that's such a horrid scenario oh my god. I made such a face at that. torture for him!

anyway what actually happens after he gets back from being mused is like.... nothing? really? Trickster takes Mal in exchange for ashe and then they just kind of disappear. and they're left in this horrible paranoid calm period. adn because theyre also gone i think people just assume that either muse went with them or also got killed in that final battle. unsure which option is worse, ashe hearing people talk about muse like hes still out there somewhere (ouch!) or talking about muse like he was killed by his friends (actually now that i type this out i think ashe would prefer this option so much more. man. he has so many issues) it takes ashe a loooong long long time to even consider using his powers again much less entertain the idea of going back to hero work, so it's not really like... an issue? for a bit? we haven't rlly nailed down that period of time yet but I would assume the prt has him under some sort of loose supervision until it's decided that he's not an active threat anymore and he gets to fucking REST for a little bit ! we're intentionally leaving late game nhw a little loose rn because I know I personally just really wanna see how s3 of pd turns out before we nail down anything too solid bc if there's one thing i love about nhw it's referencing back to things happening in canon and making them so much worse ^_^ but I think we've talked about ashe potentially going back to hero stuff eventually under a new name. and nobody can say shit because if a cape has a new name that means they're a different person and nobody can say anything (cough cough looks at armsmaster/defiant) !!!

[thorfishcrusher]

first httyd rant of many!!! yahoo!!!

this is kinda just me nonsensically talking about the alphabet(s) used in httyd because theyre kind of inconsistent?? to put it simply

insert menacing dot dot dot here

googling "httyd alphabet" lowkey made me sob cuz there were so many different variations of the symbols they used, from somewhat official sources to definitely not official ones.

they all do share elements from the futhark runic alphabet used during, or around the time period viking were in their golden age. more or less; i honestly dont know too much about runes so i apologize in advance for anything im wrong about

runes used in that time period weren't very specific, they were designed to easily carve into the materials they were using and mostly relied on just sounding things out. like lets bring that back that sounds WAY easier than learning 20 different variations of spelling the same word

younger futhark(which was more popular during the viking age,) for example, only had 16 characters, in contrast to the 24 characters in the modern english alphabet. more often than not, translated runes are littered with spelling mistakes.

that doesn't mean the vikings weren't less intelligent than people today, spelling and writing just wasn't a necessity as it commonly is in current times.

but anyway, the alphabet systems used in the books, movies, and tv shows can be directly translated into modern english, long as you ignore all the stupid ass inconsistencies (this is directed at the films, not the books)

both the movies and tv shows have similarities to futhark runes, though the movies appear to be inspired by anglo saxon runes, and the tv shows do have similar characters used in elder futhark. neither can be 100% translated to any sort of alphabetical system used at the time, and i believe berk has developed their own writing system over the centuries.

in the movies (at least from what i know) the way words were spelt were influenced on how they were sounded out, while the tv shows were slightly more correct for the future day standards. so congratulations, you can most likely spell better than hiccup in the movies. the punctuation system isn't really clear, and in futhark variations words were primarily just separated by dots. though, according to that one episode in rtte that i totally remember completely watching where snotlout shat on his dads grammar, i imagine people in berk have a more complex grammar system.

on top of that, quite a lot of people in berk seem to have the ability to read and write, more than the average viking tribes of the time. id like to assume they put more emphasis on learning to read efficiently because of the dragon book. information regarding dragons was important, and so id imagine being able to to proficiently record said information was important, too. thus the berkians (and perhaps surrounding tribes, outcasts, etc) adapted to better suit their priorities

ummm yeah idk thats kinda it

i say as if i havent put more thought and time into this dopey ass fictional thing than i have with actual beneficiary stuff

tl, dr; did you seriously scroll all this way to see if there was a summary? youll be disappointed because i am the master yapper and i am unable to be quick with my words

but basically just me talking abt the differentiating runes used in httyd, and how they connect to real world languages at the time, wnd um er um yo MOTHER

ive literally had this account for a day and ive written a 10 paragraph essay on silly little symbols

ill probably be using rtte's alphabet cuz it seems relatively easy for my little pea brain

[hollowfaith]

tossing you three questions for unanswered questions lots bc im lazy to check which you did before this sorry bb

Mun Communication Preferences

(ok since i answered the wrong memes for Sunny imma balance out the universe by answering the wrong...memes for you, therefore getting 3 Qs for each—oh my god im overthinking this)

🐣 Is there anything you're new at, just now learning, or practicing when it comes to RP?

yeah i wanna write more fight scenes but that's still a work-in-progress, the hardest part is describing the play-by-play moves vs. time skipping to the next set of punches, i can't grasp flow good enough without it getting stilted in places and i really admire ppl who can write legit shounen battle scenes on my dash!

or to put it in other words: pls more ppl come beat my muses up (i need the practice LOL)

🩵 Do you have any apparent flaws when it comes to RPing/interacting? Be gentle with yourself!

i feel like no matter how different my muses are i still like to follow the same "format" of posting replies for them? usually it's Dialogue/One-Sentence Observation > Introspection/Description > Dialogue > Ending (Muse 1-liner or another One-Sentence Observation). i guess there aren't really many options to write otherwise but it gets samey after a while

and when i'm sleepy my styles between muses tend to bleed (not in dialogue but in desc sure) so it reads even more similar b/t them which annoys me

i wanna try a different voice somewhere down the line, where the muse's personality leaks into the description part of the reply too.

also idk how to describe but i tend to use the same "plot twists" for threads, like—sudden appearance of NPCs in distress, unexpected interruption during an important line, using the background setting as a convenient character to symbolize double meaning of a character's words during a reply, etc. these are my tropes for RP replies and i think they sometimes get pretty stale? LOL

🔦 Connect the dots between you and your muse. Ways that you're the same, different, last time you thought about them, etc.

we both like Klaus a loooooot if i isekai'd into Aurlaus world Aury would stand no chance Klaus and i are running off into the sunset together

Aury is more self-disciplined and consistently well-dressed than me (i like dressing up but not every single day) and...yeah ok he's definitely more direct with his opinions, and more of an asshole, and a big biased idiot etc...

everyday i think about him because i made the fatal flaw of basing his FC off a fav character who i RT fanart of 24/7 so yeah, he's always in my face (positive)

but the differences between Aury and SHJ is very clear in my head, like i adore SHJ enough to have him do whatever he wants in a heartbeat because he's a paradox of dangerous but charming while i'm beating Aury's butt if he takes a single steps out of line

[dangopango00]

COLLEGE BAND AU HEADCANONS

Legato x gn reader

It was pretty rude of me to just randomly put an au fic without explanation so heres the explanation bye still self indulgent; always will be i fear

more utc

- OK FIRST ABOUT HIM. He works for knives still but in this au his job is to cause vash suffering by 😭😭… outselling him??? Ridonkulous ik but go with it

- Knives wants him to outsell vash so vash realizes that art and human creativity is obsolete and instead help him run his tech/AI company that also focuses on helping global warming (humans suck they should die. robots go!)

- Hes apart of a band to rival Vash’s and ofc its the Gung Ho Guns; he hired them to play for him

- Tbh i think their genre isnt set in stone bc theyre purely doing this to outsell vash so I think theyd keep the core of it rock or indie but it has a lot of shifting gears, doing wtv gets the most traction

- Legato is the bassist but he knows keyboard if their keyboardist is absent

- I think legato writes most of the songs himself (to impress knives ofc this is still HIS mission afterall) and gets a lil sad and defensive if it flops LMFAO even if its just his first album; considering how Knives talked down on music Legato thought it’d be somewhat easy

- It DEFINITELY took him a while to write things that had some semblance of humanity in it tbh he had to have either another less emotionally stunted member write it or a ghost writer but he did still practice writing in his spare time since he had nothing better to do

- NOW ABOUT YALL. Ur roommates in a college dorm; if it were up to him he’d have an apartment but knives wanted him to keep an eye on vash and vash lives on campus

- He only has like one or two official rules as roommates but if ur pissing him off with sth thats not on the list he WILL let u lnow LOL

- The only rules established off rip are:

1. MYOB

2. Do not touch him (no tolerance rule if u touch him without permission he WILL be out of there asap even if its a lot of trouble and will probably even idk push u or sth ignore u forever, hope and pray on ur downfall idk its hard to translate his violent tendencies to modern society without getting him arrested ok)

- You often eat together when he isnt busy tbh usually in silence but its ok its comfortable silence (to him at least)

- Ok im gonna try to say this in the least creepy way possible but like. He likes to observe you for inspiration HEAR ME OUT. Just seeing u go about ur day and since hes always in first person POV seeing someone else just… live gives him immense inspiration on what to write

- He also gets inspo from other artists and heres where u come in hehe. You are a solo artist who doesn’t show your face and your speaking voice is pretty much completely different from ur singing voice (Not like insanely different but if you heard the two separately you wouldnt really connect the dots unless ur one of those people who connect voices easily + depending on ur genre u could be using a completely different tone of voice than usual)

- Your genre is a little similar to Legato’s in the fact that although you keep your core component (Love theme IMO but hey i dont make the rules yes i doo) you change around the other moving parts such as the instruments or wtv so he listens to your music often though he never really thought it would be you; just never really thought about the possibility

- Im not gonna say hes like obsessed with your artist persona or anything but he does (as much as he would rather khs than admit it since according to Knives music is the bane of this world) greatly enjoy your music and often finds himself getting your songs stuck in his head

- Hes def a gatekeeper i mean this is the guy who can name every song in ur discography (Not saying much though since you dont post too often)

- ANYWAY u have no idea this is going on since hes prone to just listening to music in his headphones rather than showing you or blasting it for the world to hear so ur relationship is developing as normal roommates

- You often get him stuff from the college snack shack and in return he often gives u whatever he doesnt want from the dining hall (that sounds crappy but its usually good stuff like ur fave fruit or cheese and crackers or sth)

- After u become a bit closer going on trips together becomes common not like vacation but like a little drive to a department store or him taking you with him to practice/performances

- SPEAKING OF PRACTICE U work part time at a coffee shop and it has a practice room which is where he usually brings his band it sounds random but I’ve encountered a coffee place like this before ok

- Killing two birds with one stone, he gets to see you on his way in and out and he gets a quiet place to practice + Vash often brings his band here too so ig killing two birds and one afterthought with one stone

- Other GHGs (NOT greenhouse gasses. Gung ho guns) think that ur another one of his groupies probably 💀 he def has tons i fear

- He def writes songs about you or rather than about you, references how u make him feel but he is in denial and thinks feelings are embarrassing so hes just like no they just gave me inspiration

- Its ok though the only one he has to justify himself to is himself bc hes like. The only one who knows its about u since his songs are never rlly about romance and in the rare cases that they are its very subtle

- When, if ever, he feels ready for touch he frames it like hes doing u a favor lmao “I will allow you to (blank)” he is tbh

Random Misc:

- Hes majoring in Ecology or Conservation Biology prob minoring in sth like computer science (his entire life surrounds Knives what did u expect)

- Sleeps in his daytime clothes and ur always like ???? Esp bc he wears jeans often… U two went to the department store one time and u convinced him to let u buy him pajamas so he could wash the day clothes overnight

- Hes a big ass fan of vinyls and cds and just physical ways of owning things like music or games but wont admit to himself he likes it its just for the aesthetic ok even though he has a record and cd player

- Wants to cut ur hair and feels like its one of the most intimate things u could do without having to touch too much (forever subscribed to knives cut his hair hc)

- If u have a lot of accessories and generally just a lot of stuff he gets annoyed if it isnt properly organized and will organize it for u wnv hes having writers block

- If ur an artist he has u make his merch designs n stuff 😍😍 he pays very generously he rlly dgaf abt money tbh + Knives sponsoring him

A/N: irrelevant but idk whether to imagine him as tristamp or trigun design like both are so good but Ok im done yapping ty

[katetorias]

How did you guys bring up your plurality to your therapist? I've been meaning to bring it up mine as I have just started accepting myself as a system. I feel as if being able to express ourselves would be great and would relieve stress.

Is there any ways to mention it without stating "I think I'm multiple"? Do they give you a diagnosis? If they do diagnose you, where do you go with the diagnosis?

I apologize if this is too much to ask, I just can't seem to get straight forward answers anywhere.

P.S. Love ur art, it's genuinely so beautiful.

hi!! im really happy you’ve come to accept yourself! i have very limited experience being “open” about being a system and it’s mostly restricted to online/interpersonal relationships and my therapist. we’ve only just recently been genuinely open because Jack struggled to not be during his session. im not diagnosed with anything as it’s only been a couple of sessions

personally, i started trying to explain the dissociative symptoms first, like how things don’t feel real and sometimes it feels like someone else is piloting. i tried to describe the physical sensations and how things felt wrong/there’s amnesia(emotional or otherwise)/my names, gender and pronouns would change, i would suddenly feel very uncomfortable with my appearance, etc.

i think starting with these things, especially connecting it to the other trauma/mental health things I already go through helped her follow the dots more directly. and since I was being vague, as if I didn’t really know the exacts, she filled those gaps in for me. she was like, “well.. we do see a lot in traumatized children that they compartmentalize or dissociate to make “someone else” deal with the trauma” and i was like “woah… for real..”

i hope this makes sense! Genuinely being honest will help, explain how many years you’ve noticed these things and anything that can affirm that it’s not something else.

on the diagnosis process I’m not sure, im sorry :( idk if I want to get a diagnosis and more so recognized, so you’ll have to find other sources

[the-official-account]

Episode 18 liveblog YIPEE!

Fewer opening notes on this one. I'm gonna attempt liveblogging AND drawing at the same time, let's see how that goes. I'm currently feeling very smug with my advertisement efforts and while I hope to get to spar and vellum today I realized I made Anya kinda thin and that feels...not right for her vibes. So I'm doing Anya again...that's my excuse JGLDKDHDIS she's so...she's like a purse sized friend

Anyways, beginning of this i was not in front of my art tablet so:

"we come as a pair" haha. Cute.

Cloven heart said OUR little brother figure [bugs bunny com meme]

Scientist with a radio tower.....max.....hm. interestinger an interestinger

Yeah josepha you might be the only person in town who wants cloven heart to be the "center" of anything. Why not sindershore? She already works....idk, there? Or in v.n

Vellum just pulls out the papers lmao. Like why not!

Max came up with the schematics... Did max disappear? Yeah. Hm. HM!

Josepha used to be a woodworker? Was I remembering that right or did my brain just make this up.

"We would talk to Thorne" 😬

MAX WHAT

THEIR NAME WAS MAX WHAT?

Did grey have like....a really shitty alias? How old was max??? Fifteen days ago.... Hmmm.

Vellum would know if his uncle was out of town for like 2 and a half months if there was overlap and it took like a day or half a day of a train ride to get back and forth. It's unlikely vellum wouldn't connect those dots

"I was on drugs when I named it I will be honest".josepha is SO good. She's lovely. She's so funny. Oh my god.

"This may not be to your taste of perhaps it is I do not know how you party vellum" NFOSBDKSHDO

"THINK I COULD ROCK THOSE"

"I ALSO DONT KNOW HOW YOU PARTY AGENT VELLUM"

Trying not to burst out laughing in public this is a struggggllleeee

"The belt has 3 slots for arcane cores" I would rather we not go looking for bombs.... But yk. Queer people have plenty of odd hobbies who am I to judge

Okay but like short distance teleportation for someone with a bad leg is a pretty banger deal

"Sometimes you wake up one day and you're retired" In THIS economy?

Also I'm mentioning this out of order bc this episode is being funny faster than I can type, but (I say this with all of the respect) was vellums "I'm sure I'll find other use for you" sultry or was that just Ila's voice? HFOSHSKSBSOS

Spar sounds so depressed. Give this sheep dog some enrichment!

Vellum being like 'Hey you're good we still need to find some more bombs!' he is in fact giving spar some enrichment

"Waiting for this boat and seemingly intent on returninf to clovenheart"

I just squinted with SO much suspicion that that would be diamond

"Is Brunhilde!!!" Dksgsud ok

"Do you say hi to your mom as you're pretending to arrest the chick you dated who you invited into her home on grounds of a repeat assault?" My god

Spar is ~5'8 tati is 5'3 very good to know

~ many hours later, now doing art stuff~

Vellum could fall on this face and STILL look cool

Anya spar and vellum having a snack has gotta go on my to-draw list (my mind is so fast and my hands are so not fast! Ahh!)

OH NEW MIDTRO isk if this was here last episode. OH SHITFUN FACTS? i love blorbo facts

he has written a SYMPHONY? The essentricism is genetic i think.... a smphony baout YEARNING FOR BELONGING? you are handing me a fic idea. NOTE: symphony driven by loss and isolation over being trans, having lost his parents, wanting to find a place where he's accepted

Smooth velvet is his stripper name this episode is just raining fic ideas, huh? (i am joking but also I am not joking. BUt im joking but im not joking....I am deciding if im joking)

DONT BE MEAN TO ISHBALA (spell chat tdb) SPAR!!!!!!

DONT BE MEAN TO GREGGINS EITHER!!! LJKSAFHGLKAHFGLAKSG

greggins binder generator.

[not episode related but im battling between having sincere thoughts about Anya's fashion sense and going "ooooh belly"]

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS PROBLEMATIC AND YOU'RE GONNA GET CANCELLED AND HERE'S WHY

ALSDHGLKASDHGASKGFASGD MY SWORDS A GHOST NOW OHHHH MY GOD I LOVE THEM

SEKITAN WAS A VICTIM....WOAH.......WOOOOAH.

ALTERATION RESISTANT BLOOD? HOOOOLY SHIT. WOAH. WOAH. WAOH MAN. WOW. FUUUUCK. i dont evne......

anya said hey your uhhhh. Your uhh special friend is little stressed. go makeout of whatever. THEY'RE WALKING ARM IN ARM LMAOOOO

ishbala just chose violence SO unprompted

[anya is drawn now for spar and vellum iterations i am...........Well to be fair i am Never very confident going in and it walways turns out okay!!!]

"*he puts a gun in vellums hands* its goot to know you're with someone who can protect you." s;aldfalsfdjaw awhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! SPAR DOESN'T GET PROTECTED SPAR IS ALWAYS THE ONE JUMPING IN FRONT OF THE BULLET DO YOU KJNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEEEEEEEANS TO ME?????

"when you got a good one you keep em" thats it thats spar

spar is correcting vellums stance and vellum must be SCREAMING inside lmao. Vellum focuses SO HARD on everything BUT spar directly behind him and accidentally becomes an expert

ARE THEY ALSO IMPRESSED BY THE SEXUAL TENSION

vellum, full on titanicking it with spar is trying VERY hard to respect boundaries and that is my FAVORITE kind of tension. "I am not making moves because i respect you as a person" is never not entertaining

STOP JUMPSCARING ME WITH THIS FUCKING KISSES I GASPED TOO HARD AND CHOKED ON MY SPIT HOLY FUCK. HOOOLY FUCK.

ughhhhh drawing kisses is such a pain but FUCK do i wanna.

oooh this new outro is so fancy!!!! i love the format changes that are happening here!

im torn between doing another episode tonight and saving it for tomorrow so I can focus fully on drawing.......ill feel out the vibes after i get spar's jaw right. LOVELY episode. spar is making moooooooves!!!!

@threeheartscast i almost forgot!

[thaliatimsh]

*dj khaled voice* another one im sowwy 👼 in your opinion, what do you consider to be the most logical ending for rat boy: high chaos or low? 👀 BUT!!! if you could rewrite his ending, what would it be?? 👀😈 always love reading your thoughts!!! 🐣🔥💕🔥💕🔥 *monkeys hugging gif*

OOOOUGHGABOOGA thank YOUUUU WE DA BEST! GibbonHug dot GIF I am thinking Thinkging NEVER apologise im so glad to be made to Think.. hm…. I know you said abt Dear Rat Boy but i think this is connected to his loyalisms so… aw shit here i go again

Like honestly? I think that the Story of dishonored makes more sense in high chaos - I cannot patch together WHY the Three Amigos would even AGREE to try to off Corvo in low chaos! Like I said abt it being Hamhock's Ambition's Fault but… idk that Martini and Treachery would both agree with his Idea in LC…

In high chaos my feeling is that Martini and the hamhock came to the idea because HOLY SHIT this guy has got to be STOPPED - not just before he comes for us but also before his Villainy destroys everything they've worked for… treachery says uh…. Ok. Sure thing boys. My loyalisms is all i got and i dont wanna be on the end of corvo's knife…

Meanwhile in low chaos it's like.

How fucked would it be if everyone found out that the guy who cleared up all of the Corrupt City Officials was ALSO working for us before we swept in and Fixed It All.. now hang on a minute! If anything that legitimises them???? So idk WHY if Hamhock went "we gotta get corbo outta da way" pornstar martini didnt say "no we dont" - I mean I think Treachery is not inclined to Rock The Boat, so he would Voice An Opposing Opinion ONLY if he was not alone in it and either way at that point? It's less Boat Rocky to disagree w The Hamhock than it is to Literally Kill Corvo

Low Chaos Corvo's a man who causes Hurt only to Proven Enemies… which is why I had to write high chaos for nlwib: even if Light At The End is. Completely Bonkers borderline surreal - the events LEADING to it make sense in a fucked way? I mean either is I guess logical for rattie because… he will follow the others. And I do think he would follow Hammy over Martini - treachery & havelock do seem to have a kind of? Mutual admiration? Whereas he & Martin dont really ever have anythinf to say abt one another? So when The Girls Are Fightiiiiing in HC it's like. Sickos YES! Tried to screw me, didn't you my lord pendleton!!! Bet you're sorry now, boyo! Theyre Inned Sane I love it!!!

Ok i dont think that really answered ur question but. I guess what I mean is that what treachery does in hc makes more sense bc what martini does makes more sense?

But I tell you whatever ending he gets I STILL wish that he could Survive. Like do you ever think that. No matter what changes the only characters who Always Die are: Jessamine (rip legend), Lydia Brooklaine (MY WIFE), Mistuh Wallace Higgins (my blorbo) and LORD TREAVOR PENDLETON…. (My pet 🐀) and… I dont think it's fair i think i should be allowed to save them actually!!! SO.

Basically: i think the canon ending should be the loyalists get sent to prison and have to do this:

Then they get exiled to tyvia or some shit.

Actually I tell you what WOULD be fucked is if in low chaos Hammy had done Corvo in himself? Uhoh boys, Corb's dead… im gonna stop thinkgin abt this idea before i start trying to write another fic I'll never finish. Oops.

ThaNK YOU im kiss kiss hmm thinkign.

[nyanyashizun]

bruh, i just wanna talk abt bgsd and musings and have my headcanons evaluated lovingly by someone who shares in the same kind of nonsensical drabbles I do

so here we go, no tags we're going in without padding

↓ bgsd mxm thoughts (妄想), mainly ranzai 🥴 probably will only be ranzai tbh

ive only seen up to s3, spoils may be included idk

also im not even trying to write seriously, here. just flow write

angst-ish, pg

okay so dazai is in love with ranpo and totally doesnt say anything but spends most of his time just hanging around him

they often go on cases together because dazai is really skilled and ranpo doesnt mind him tagging along

they both are really skilled at what they do but also ranpo has this thing about him

it all comes natural to him but dazai isn't too different from him

so they make a good team but there is something more going on

dazai often gets jealous of how much ranpo clings to fukuzawa. it isn't a pick me, im the best employee kinda thing

he just would prefer ranpo pay attention to him more

he doesnt get why. he doesnt think about it

dazai tends to get attached to others easily, but doesnt particularly feel the same way he feels about fukuzawa as he does ranpo

does that make ranpo special? dazai doesnt want to think about it

he just wants to accompany ranpo wherever he goes, well maybe not like that

so they end up taking on a particularly perplexing case

and dazai is actually disturbed by some of the things that happen

he cant cope

ranpo is serious but tries to comfort him, is prepared to leave him behind. not because he doesnt want him along, but its clear its too much for him

so dazai waits for ranpo to come back for him, at some abandoned warehouse or something, and in ranpo's absence dazai get's antsy and calls ranpo

he starts to freak out when the man doesn't reply. time passes and he ends up calling a few more times and ranpo answers completely confused because all is good and he was about to head back with some snacks. he was chatting up a market lady

okay, but why did dazai doubt ranpo so much? doubt? no.... more like he was freaked out that the man wasn't around

he didnt feel left out, he didnt feel like they were just companions and he--

then ranpo says it, he tells dazai he picked up on his feelings

and dazai gets it without the explaination

he felt the way for ranpo he thought he'd successfully acted like he cared for all those women he tried to take with him

but.... that means, he actually felt that way for someone? he was fond of playing around, but now? no he didnt even want to do anything to put the man he quietly idolized in jeopardy

and he especially didnt want to feel this way for anyone like he once had that long gone friend of his

he felt immense pain in his heart, regretting everything until then. all the times he didnt realize what he'd been thinking was what it truly was

and all he wanted was for it all to go away

and yet ranpo seemed to see right through him, maybe knew far longer than what he admitted, -- maybe only saying something once he was sure Dazai was about to realize.... Only once it was clear he knew enough to connect those last dots himself.

and.... he did

________

lmao is this a short (unedited) fic now idk????

[knivestothroats]

director's commentary AKA responding to tags!

@patheticlittleguy : #also. did they pick tommy at least in part because of the name? or would they rather it was something else...#also ALSO cambell soup mug 👀 im connecting the dots

So glad you brought this up because I was going to say something about it and forgot. My idea was actually that Fletcher would make Tommy go by a different name. What he picks would be up to victimeyez, but Tommy is actually his middle name and Caius made him start going by it, so he'd probably be okay changing it. But victimeyez said he probably wouldn't go by his real first name because he doesn't feel like he is that person anymore. But, since I didn't write out that scene, it would've been too confusing to just have him go by a different name. I don't think Fletcher calls him Tommy at any point though.

The mug - I originally didn't describe it, and then I though naw Fletcher would have cool mugs. So first I wrote that it had the name of the diner they stole it from, but diner mugs tend to be pretty small. My partner suggested souvenir from a national park or something so I was thinking about that but then I was like OH i know. I think it was a mug they gave their dead friend Tommy as a gift years ago, and it ended up back in their possession. But idk, they might keep it somewhere safe if it had that kind of sentimental value.

There's too many Tommys - Tommy ProVic, Tommy ITWS, and Tommy victimeyez

also patheticlittleguy: #i love how weirdly chill they are. like yeah ill beat the shit out of someone. but right now im just trying to make dinner#they use violence so casually in a way that isnt common even within whump i think#not even casually just. routinely?#theyre possibly the most well adjusted one can be when your lifes work and passion is inflicting pain lmao

Truly. Fletcher is just living their life and happens to be a sadist. Their actions make perfect sense to them, but to their captives it's a minefield. Lot of fun to write - I get to do a little of everything through them.

@apokolyps : #i forgot just how much i love fletcher and their “yes this is objectively immoral but im having fun so idc” attitude#its so refreshing

Fletcher is like "I have done the soul searching and come to terms with it. I am a bad person and this is the life I have chosen. No plans on trying to 'better' myself. Why would I? This is my authentic self. I hurt people, people have hurt me. I've killed people, people have tried to kill me back and maybe one day, one of them will do it. I know what I signed up for. I'll have fun in the meantime."

also apokolyps: #also how they said “when” not “if” they were gonna rape tommy was more horrifying to me than anything else

So this is another thing that I thought about and it just didn't make it into the piece. Victimeyez and I came up with a few possibilities that led to Tommy at the lodge, so I just kind of skipped ahead so we didn't have to nail one down. But one of the first things we talked about was just: What if Caius leaves Tommy with Fletcher for a weekend/few days. Since Fletcher's a professional, lives deep in the woods, and also managed to keep a captive, they're the only client Caius would trust to watch Tommy for a bit. Kind of ignoring the rule that Caius has to supervise but ehh AU. Or, again, just trusting Fletcher as a professional. But Caius is thinking Fletcher will just torture Tommy the whole time, so he can be like 'See how good you have it with me? Aren't you grateful?' Except Fletcher just makes Tommy weed the garden and stuff. I mean they probably hurt him at some point for kicks but overall it's WAY better. So at the end Tommy begs Fletcher not to send him back. And Fletcher's like "look idk what you want me to do, man." And Tommy's like "I don't want to get raped anymore." And Fletcher just like. Closes their eyes and sighs. And it ends up being like that scene in Doctor Who (deleted scene? idr) where he's trying to get the horse out of the TARDIS and the owner is like "Have you seen a horse? When I find that thing I'm going to beat it." And the Doctor's like, "Oh, I wish you hadn't said that." And then goes back to the horse and is like, "Okay, we have rules around here..."

Because I always kind of figure that Fletcher really doesn't like rape. If someone asked why they draw the line there when it's really just another form of torture, they probably wouldn't be able to give much of an answer - they just don't like it. And I think it's mostly do to Fletcher being ace and having their own aversion to sex, because - kind of like I mentioned above - they feel like they can take what they dish out. Not that they want to be on the receiving end of torture, but they've gotten hurt and nearly killed plenty of times. But the idea of rape is so much worse.

So, if I had written that scene, I thought about a conversation that was basically Fletcher: I thought you said you didn't want to get raped anymore. Tommy: But... I'm offering... Fletcher: Oh yeah, because you want this, you're doing this because you're attracted to me. Get the fuck out of here.

So, they really are joking for the most part when they say "If I want to take advantage of you I'll let you know" because they think it's kind of a funny thing to say, but also know that like. Definitely only funny to them and not to Tommy. I also thought about them saying something like, "Love how easy you are to take advantage of, but you are NOT catching me with my pants down."

God that turned into a long fucking response. Moving on!

@suspicious-whumping-egg : #aaaa I just love fletcher’s mix of cruelty and softness combined with how jumpy and desperate to please tommy is

It's a lot of fun to write this dynamic. Buck was more like "Maybe if I stay in my room they'll forget I exist" and Tommy is like "If I can be useful then everything will be fine"

apokolyps: #i wonder what buck's reaction would be to knowing Fletcher got themselves a replacement and @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi : How would Buck feel, finding out he got replaced by a “professional?” How would Tommy feel knowing the last guy in his role was just a dude from the woods that eventually got let go?

I have been trying to think of a reason Buck would show up at the lodge and see Tommy. I really want it to happen. It's soooo juicy since Buck is the guy that Got Out and now he's free but knows what Tommy is going through and feels uhhh not good about it.

Tommy also had it way worse and for way longer than Buck. Tommy at this point is like a zoo animal that couldn't survive being released back into the wild. I mean I don't want to say that definitively, but it would not be as easy for him. Hell, it's hard enough for Buck.

I thought about Fletcher mentioning something about "the last guy they had here" or whatever when talking to Tommy, and Tommy's like "What? What happened to him?" and Fletcher has to be like "Uhhhh... I let him go. But only because he saved my life. If you save my life I'll let you go too I guess. Do NOT try to orchestrate that."

Buck also being in an awkward position where he's like "I would give you advice but what worked for me is probably not going to happen again, sooo...."

I feel like Buck would try to convince Fletcher to let Tommy go, which wouldn't work, and then Buck would kind of feel compelled to come visit Tommy sometimes, which is like a great unexpected side effect from Fletcher's perspective. Fletcher's like "Wow this is great we're all hanging out as friends" and the boys are just like "...Right..." *side eye*

~In conclusion~ There's plenty room here in this AU to keep writing. We also have variations of the AU so lol I'm sure there will be more

In The Woods Somewhere + Professional//Victim Crossover AU

@victimeyez and I like to play with our OCs together like dolls. We came up with a number of ways Tommy ends up with Fletcher but this is a "my mom sold me to one direction" type AU where Fletcher buys Tommy to basically replace Buck.

CW: long term captivity/human trafficking, withholding food (in past), physical violence, burning, dubious consent sort of, guns in places they shouldn't be

read In The Woods Somewhere here || read Professional//Victim here

Scene 1

Tommy hadn’t experienced a thunderstorm in years.

It rained sometimes when he was on his way to a client, but having lived in a basement for the last five years, he had forgotten their intensity. How loud the incessant, arrhythmic rainfall echoed down from the roof. How lightning could suddenly illuminate the whole room in a flash. How he could feel the house shake with the roar of thunder. Or maybe it was just him shaking. He felt like a dog on the fourth of July. 

It was stupid, after everything he’d been through, to be afraid of the weather.

A bright flash through the window again, followed shortly by a crack of thunder that he could feel in his chest. They were getting closer together. 

There’s no way Tommy could sleep. He was sitting up in his bed in his new home, knees to his chest with his arms wrapped around. 

As much as he loathed Caius, he did provide comfort at times. It was twisted, but it was something. Fletcher… he wasn’t sure about. They had been more reserved so far, treating him with a sort of casual amiability. But Tommy was well aware how Fletcher reveled in inflicting pain. He just hadn’t figured out yet when and why they shed the wool to become the wolf.

Another flash. Tommy tried to brace himself, but he still jumped at the thunder.

Tommy swung his legs off the bed. He stared at the door for a second before going through into the hallway. It was still strange to not be locked in.

He walked gently down the dark hallway. He knew where Fletcher’s room was - they had pointed it out on his first day with a strict do not enter.

Tommy stood outside Fletcher’s bedroom door. He rubbed his hands over his arms. 

This was ridiculous. Going to Fletcher for comfort? Like a child waking up their parents after having a bad dream? During a thunderstorm of all things. He should just go back to - 

Flash. Crack.

Tommy knocked on Fletcher’s door. He tried to listen for movement over the sound of the rain. They probably hadn’t even heard him over the din. Maybe he should knock again, or maybe he should go back - 

Fletcher opened the door, wearing just a t-shirt, gym shorts, and bed head. They squinted at him in the dark.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing out of Tommy’s mouth. “I, um. I can’t sleep and, um…”

Fletcher was silhouetted as their room lit up. The thunder followed so quickly behind, rumbling through the house, that Tommy didn’t have time to count. 

Fletcher saw Tommy flinch hard, drawing his shoulders up by his ears.

“You’re scared of thunder?”

Tommy felt his face redden, in spite of himself. He should be incapable of embarrassment at this point, after all the humiliation he was put through, but he just felt childish.

“Alright, come in,” Fletcher said with a yawn, moving aside to make way. “Don’t try to kill me in my sleep.”

“Really?” Tommy asked, perking up. He took a hesitant step into the room. “Can I, um, do you mind if I share the bed?”

“Yeah I assumed that was what you were asking,” Fletcher grumbled, shutting the door behind him.

Fletcher took their side first, and Tommy took the other. He laid stiff in the bed, making sure they had a gap between them. Tommy had wondered if sharing the bed would come with a cost, putting himself in a vulnerable position within Fletcher’s grasp. But Fletcher had turned their back to him, sleeping on their side.

He was still on edge. Was sleeping beside Fletcher really better than being alone?

There was a flicker of lightning, followed by a grumble of thunder. Not as loud this time, but enough to make Tommy nervous. 

Tommy turned on his side as well and carefully scooted over until his back was brushing against Fletcher’s. He held his breath, but they didn’t react. 

Tommy could feel their warmth seep into him. He let out a slow breath. It was definitely better than being alone.

~

Fletcher had managed to tune out the storm into white noise, but they were a light sleeper, forever on edge. They opened their eyes in the darkness, listening to Tommy murmur and shift in his sleep.

Fletcher rolled over and draped their arm over Tommy’s middle.

“Shhh,” they hushed gently.

Tommy’s shirt had ridden up, and he whimpered when Fletcher made contact with his skin.

Fletcher tensed up at the noise. Tommy was definitely asleep, but that whimper was perfect. They wondered if he practiced it for his clients. It was difficult to resist the urge to wrap their arm tight around him and squeeze, trying to elicit the sound again. 

Fletcher moved their hand over Tommy’s bare torso. They could feel his ribs too distinctly beneath his skin. Caius and the others probably had him skipping meals. Whether to keep up his waifish victim aesthetic, to keep him weak, to punish him, or just from neglect.  Fletcher figured he would put on weight quickly here. He was going to need to, if he was going to keep up with the work Fletcher had for him to do around the lodge. 

~

“Get up.”

Tommy gasped awake as a hand jostled him from his sleep. He looked around quickly, getting his bearings, and saw Fletcher leaning over him.

“I’m getting up, you can’t stay in my room alone,” Fletcher said.

“Oh,” Tommy rubbed his eyes. “Right. Okay. Thank you… for letting me sleep here.”

“Uh huh,” Fletcher said. “I’m making breakfast.”

“Do you want me to help?”

“Mm, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay… do you want me to make your bed?” Tommy offered, trying to show his gratitude.

“No,” Fletcher said flatly. They gestured to the door. 

“Right, sorry.” Tommy hurried out of the room. “Um, would it be alright if I took a shower? Or do you want me to wait?”

“All yours, bud,” Fletcher said, closing the door shut behind them. “Just don’t take too long. You want to get the breakfast while it’s hot.”

~

Tommy turned the water up as hot as he could stand. It staved off the chill that seemed to linger in the lodge. He allowed himself a few moments to just stand under the stream after he had washed, but Fletcher had told him not to take long, and he didn’t want to push it.

Tommy dried and dressed quickly, scrunching his hair with the shirt he had slept in and finger-combing it out of his face. He made his way to the kitchen, which was already calling his name with rich, savory smells.

Fletcher was standing at the stove, stirring one pan with a spatula while another sizzled away next to them. 

“What smells so good?” Tommy asked, trying to peer into the pans.

“Onions and bacon, mostly,” Fletcher said.

“Do you need any help?” Tommy offered.

There was a pop, pop as a pair of bagels sprung up from a two-sided toaster.

“Yeah, grab those bagels for me and add butter and cream cheese. There’s plates in that cabinet, silverware in that drawer.”

Tommy moved swiftly to do as he was told. 

When he had plated them, Fletcher carried over the first pan.

“Okay, get out of my way.” 

It was said lightheartedly, but Tommy still leapt back.

“Just take a seat,” Fletcher nodded to the kitchen table. “It’s ready.”

Tommy sat down and watched as Fletcher assembled the plates, but their body was blocking his view. It wasn’t until they set his breakfast down in front of him that he was able to take it in. 

Scrambled eggs with multicolor peppers, strips of bacon, a sausage, and the bagel he had prepared.

He couldn’t believe how much his mouth was watering.

“It’s veggie sausage,” Fletcher said. “I only had a couple left. Oh - you want coffee?”

Tommy looked up at them wide eyed. Fletcher had told him on the first day that he could help himself to food in the kitchen, but he had been too afraid to touch their coffee maker. Even when there was a pot already made, he had been too anxious that he wasn’t supposed to take any.

“Yes, please.”

“How do you take it?” Fletcher asked, getting a mug from the shelf. It was designed to look like a can of Campbell’s tomato soup. 

“A lot of sugar and cream,” Tommy said. “Please. If you don’t mind.”

Fletcher heaped two spoonfuls of sugar into the mug and then looked in the fridge. 

“Mm, I just have oat milk right now.”

“Okay, that’s fine, thank you,” Tommy said, even though he had never tried it before.

Fletcher splashed some into the mug before pouring the steaming coffee on top. They gave it a stir and set it down in front of Tommy.

Tommy hadn’t touched his food. He stared at the spread before him, not quite believing it was really for him.

Fletcher settled down across the table with their matching meal and began to eat.

“I don’t know where to start,” Tommy said in a small voice.

“Eggs,” Fletcher provided.

Tommy scooped up a forkful of the scrambled eggs and took his first bite. 

It wasn’t just peppers, there were onions and cheese mixed in as well. The texture was perfect - they weren't dry or runny. 

“Wow,” Tommy said. He followed it with a long sip of coffee. It wasn’t as sweetened as he would have made it for himself once upon a time, but it was hot and rich and maybe the best cup he’d ever had.

He might actually start crying. 

“The secret is cream cheese,” Fletcher said, gesturing to his eggs with their fork. “And to scramble it in the pan. How’s the coffee?”

“So good,” Tommy said. “Thank you.”

“Mhm.” Fletcher started to pile their eggs and bacon onto the bagel. “How often were you being fed before?”

“Um, twice a day, usually,” Tommy said. “Sometimes… less.”

Fletcher nodded. “Figured. You need to start increasing your caloric intake. I need you to do work around here and I don’t want you passing out after an hour in the garden.”

Tommy took a bite of the bagel. The layer of butter under the cream cheese felt so indulgent. 

“If it means I get to eat like this every day, I am more than happy to oblige,” Tommy said.

“Well, I’m not cooking every meal for you,” Fletcher said. “But I want you to eat.”

I want you to eat.

Even if it was to work him like a dog, it was so much better than being worked like a dog on an empty stomach. Despite Fletcher’s generally cold aloofness and passing threats, despite having been the victim of their bloodlust in the past, Tommy felt oddly cared for.

He took another bite of the eggs and hoped he could get Fletcher to teach him how to cook like this.

Scene 2

Fletcher had their sleeves rolled tightly up above their elbows. On their hands they wore black disposable gloves. Tommy watched as those hands deftly sectioned the chickens into pieces, their well-sharpened knife effortlessly cutting through the flesh. 

Tommy had to let his eyes drift away. He watched Fletcher’s arms instead. They tended to hide their form under layers, but every time they rolled up their sleeves, it revealed their muscle tone. Tommy wondered why they didn’t show it off - most people would. He noticed as well, as he watched, that Fletcher had some lighter lines on their skin - old scars haphazardly slashed into their arms. He imagined them getting into knife fights. He imagined them holding someone down by the throat with both hands, arms tensed, as their victim clawed at their skin to no avail.

Fletcher moved the chicken pieces into a bowl of marinade. Spice bottles were cluttering the counter around it. 

Fletcher covered the bowl and set it aside. They cleaned up, discarding their gloves and disinfecting their work space. 

Tommy had been tasked with washing the potatoes he and Fletcher had harvested from the garden. Fletcher had asked him to take his time, making sure each one was free of dirt in the divots, as they wouldn’t be peeling them. He was worried, when Fletcher turned to him, that they would be angry he hadn’t gotten through the whole crop, but they merely began to take from the clean pile and start cutting them into chunks. 

“When you’re done with that can you go through the green beans and just make sure to snap all the stems off?” Fletcher asked.

Tommy nodded. “Sure.”

They had picked the beans together as well. It felt nice to be doing something actually productive for a change. 

When they were done, Fletcher dumped the potatoes into a big pot of water but didn’t light the stove. They sighed, looking at the clock and chewed their lip a moment.

“I should’ve started this earlier. I’m already starting to get hungry,” Fletcher said. “I just want everything to be done at the same time.”

Fletcher shook their head like they were hoping the thoughts would fall into place. They took a baking sheet and returned to the chicken, laying the pieces out.

“I’m done,” Tommy said from his spot at the table with his bowl of beans. He swept the stem pieces into his hand and got up to dump them in the trash.

“Ah-ah!” Fletcher waved their hand at him, causing Tommy to stop abruptly. “Compost.”

“Right, sorry.” Tommy ducked his head.

“Just give the beans a rinse and then you’re done for now,” Fletcher said. “I’ll call you back when it’s ready.”

It was a while later when Fletcher called Tommy back into the kitchen. He was sitting out on the back deck, just feeling the sun on his skin and listening to the birds, when Fletcher opened the door and leaned out.

“I need your help,” they said.

Tommy jumped up and followed them in.

“I forgot to make fucking gravy,” Fletcher growled. “I just need you to mash the potatoes for me while I whip this up. And just shake the pan with the green beans occasionally to move them around.”

The kitchen was hot now, and Tommy quickly shrugged off his sweatshirt before taking over the potatoes. Fletcher was mixing ingredients when there was a thud above them, followed by an indiscernible shout, followed by, “Fletcherrrrr!”

“Jesus Christ,” Fletcher rolled their eyes. “Okay in like two minutes you need to take the chicken out of the oven and check it. 165. Don’t forget to shake the pan.” They rattled off instructions as they marched out of the kitchen. 

Tommy kept an eye on the clock, rolling the beans in their saute oil. They looked kind of brown? He looked closer, not wanting Fletcher to come back and find them burned. Hm, no, he was pretty sure it was whatever they were being cooked in. Balsamic maybe? There were chopped onions in with it as well, and those similarly looked a little brown but not burnt. 

He checked the clock again. Okay, two minutes. Tommy looked around the counter, seeing the thermometer but no oven mitts. There was one pot holder laying out, and he folded the towel hanging off the oven door to go with it.

The tray was heavily laden with the chicken, heavier than Tommy expected it to be. He tried to adjust his grip so it didn’t tip backwards, but his adjustments shifted his fingertips off the towel. 

Tommy quickly pulled his hand away from the heat. Now holding the tray with one hand, it began to go sideways. Instinctively he tried to catch it, only serving to touch the hot metal again. This time, his brain - desperate to keep him from making the same mistake a third time - drew back his hands completely and the tray clattered to the floor, scattering the chicken. 

Tommy’s heart leapt to his throat. He dropped to his hands and knees and picked up a piece of chicken, dropping it immediately.

It’s hot, it’s all fucking hot, he berated himself. He started using the towel to scoop up the chicken. He didn’t know what to do with it, so he piled it back onto the tray. His heart was beating so loudly in his ears he didn’t hear Fletcher’s footsteps. It wasn’t until he saw their boots that he looked up.

As if they had materialized before him, summoned by his fuck up, Fletcher stood glowering down at him. They held a bloody rag in their hand from whatever they had been dealing with upstairs.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy said. “I’ll… I’ll…” Fix it? How was he going to fix it?

Fletcher closed their eyes and dug the heel of their palm into their temple. 

“Do you have any idea the amount of effort that went into this dinner?”

“I know, I’m sorry-” Tommy started again.

Fletcher cut him off. “You don’t know. I had to drive an hour and a half just to get these chickens. Every time I have to leave the lodge it’s a fucking ordeal. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but there’s not much around here. I can’t run to the grocery store without making a day of it. I can’t order fucking take out to fix this. You do know how long this took me today to put together.”

“I do, I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Fletcher reached down and slammed Tommy’s head against the cabinets. 

“Stop fucking saying you’re sorry! I know you’re fucking sorry! What happened?”

Tommy held his head, trying to blink his vision back after it whited out.

Fletcher crouched down on their haunches and grabbed Tommy by the front of his shirt, giving him a quick shake. 

“Hey! What the fuck happened?”

“I, uh, I burned my hand…” Tommy said, keeping his eyes low. He held back another “sorry.”

“You burned your hand?” Fletcher repeated unsympathetically. “Where?”

Tommy glanced up at them and hesitantly opened up his hand to them. Fletcher grabbed his wrist with more force than necessary.

“You think this is a burn?” They snarled. “I’ll show you a fucking burn.”

Fletcher took Tommy’s hand and pressed it down against the still hot metal pan.

Tommy screamed and Fletcher allowed him to jerk his arm away. He cradled his hand to his chest, tears escaping from his eyes.

Fletcher stood again, looking down on him.

“Don’t bother getting up. You’re going to be scrubbing the floor.”

Fletcher turned around to storm off, only to see the three trainees leaning around the doorway to observe.

“The fuck are you looking at?” Fletcher snapped.

One held up their hands and made themself scarce.

“Does this mean there’s no dinner?” Another asked.

“There’s potatoes,” Fletcher grumbled. Then they suddenly turned back and dashed to the pan of green beans, taking it off the heat. They inspected the vegetables, ignoring Tommy sniffling on the ground, trying to scoop up the chicken with one hand. “Yeah, these are fine. There’s also green beans.”

Scene 3

Tommy had experienced more types of pain than he could count, but burning was usually off the table to clients. Too much deep tissue damage. It was scary to think that his hand may never be the same. And if it was to recover, it was going to do so at the slow, agonizing crawl of natural healing. 

Tommy did his best not to flinch as Fletcher applied the cream to his burns. He just had to suck air between his teeth and not complain. 

“How’s it feel?” Fletcher asked once they had finished wrapping the gauze. 

“It stings,” Tommy said pitifully. “It feels like I’m still being burned. Do you think… do you think it’s going to be okay? Eventually?”

“Well, if you want to give me the information of that doctor you used to see, I’m sure he can give you a magic healing potion or whatever the fuck. Once I decide you’ve suffered enough.”

Tommy’s stomach flopped. He would take a burn any day of the week if it meant he never had to see Sam again.

“Please don’t take me back to him,” Tommy begged softly. 

Fletcher raised an eyebrow, but said no more on the subject. They peeled off their gloves.

“Then here’s how it will go. It’ll hurt, and then it will blister, and then the blisters will pop. You have to keep it clean so it doesn’t get infected. If you find yourself unable to do simple tasks because you can’t use one of your hands, you can come find me…” Fletcher took his chin in their hand. “And beg for my help.”

~

Tommy slept with his hand cradled against his chest. There was a brief moment of peace when he awoke before he began to feel the throb of the burns. 

He kept his arm close to his torso as he walked to the kitchen, trying to think of what he could make for himself. Surely he could manage a bowl of cereal with one hand.

The box was easy enough. Tommy got the milk from the fridge. Oh yeah - oat milk. He held the container between his arm and his side, twisting the cap off with his good hand. Looked like milk.

He thought about pouring some into a glass to try, when Fletcher walked in, carrying dirty dishes to the sink.

They glanced in Tommy’s direction, then away, saying nothing. 

“I can-” it came out quiet and hoarse. Tommy cleared his throat and tried again. “I can wash those.”

“Can you?” Fletcher asked without looking back at him. 

“Um, I can, well, I can try…” Tommy offered. 

Fletcher turned to face him now, leaning back on the counter. “If you drop something, and it breaks,” they said, “I am not going to be happy.”

Tommy paled. “Is there - is there something else you would like me to do?”

“Not really,” Fletcher said. They walked out of the room. 

Tommy wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. They hadn’t told him not to do the dishes, just not to break them. And if he misinterpreted their response as a no, and they came back to find that he hadn’t washed them, they might be angry.

His strategy for washing dishes with one hand was to lay them in the sink, scrub them there with one hand as best he could, and then move them into the stream of water.

It took longer, and was more awkward - they kept sliding around - but he was able to do it.

When Tommy found Fletcher next, they were out behind the lodge chopping wood. He watched them raise the axe over their shoulder and swing down on the log, cleaving it easily in two. 

“Do you want any help?” Tommy called out, keeping his distance.

“No,” Fletcher called back, setting up the log again.

Tommy hesitated. “Is there anything you would like me to-“

“What the fuck did I just say?”

Chop.

Tommy left them alone the rest of the day. He kept to his room, trying to give Fletcher space now that they had made it clear they didn’t want him around. For a while he tried to read, but he struggled to find a comfortable way to both hold the book and flip the pages. He ended up pacing the floor, filled with anxious nerves that urged him to do something.

He had been having such a… if not good, unquestionably better time here than he’d had with Caius and the rest. This was a bad turn. It didn’t have to be like this. He just had to make it up to Fletcher somehow; get back in their good graces

He had tried to make himself useful around the house without much success. It was true that what he could do would be limited while his hand was injured. Which meant he had to rely on other skills to make himself useful.

~

Everyone else had gone to bed. It was just Fletcher sitting on the couch, illuminated only by the fluctuating light of the TV screen. They had a beer in one hand, resting on the arm of the couch.

Tommy approached slowly, tugging on the hem of his shirt with anxiousness. Fletcher didn’t acknowledge him, even when he was standing in front of the couch. He kept to the side enough not to block their view.

It was only when Tommy lowered himself to his knees that Fletcher said, “What?” without taking their eyes off the screen.

“I’m really sorry about the dinner,” Tommy said. His stomach rippled with anxiety.

“I know,” Fletcher said flatly. “You’ve said.”

Tommy swallowed. He hesitantly leaned in and nuzzled his cheek against Fletcher’s leg.

Fletcher finally looked down at him.

“I would like to make it up to you.”

“How’s that?”

Fletcher said it flatly. Disinterested, still annoyed. There was no flirtation nor cruel amusement in their voice. 

Tommy swallowed. Was this a bad idea? Or was he not making it obvious enough? Most people would jump on him at the mere suggestion. 

Tommy put a hand on Fletcher’s knee and ran in gently up their thigh. Not far, not overstepping. Just trying to give them the right idea. He looked up at them with his best wet dog expression.

“Okay,” Fletcher said. 

They set their beer down on the end table and shifted their pose, spreading their legs a little more. Tommy dutifully shuffled in between.

Nothing you haven’t done before, he told himself. It’ll be better afterwards. 

“Close your eyes.” Fletcher said. And once he had, “Open your mouth.”

Tommy opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out a little. He waited, listening to Fletcher shift on the couch. Probably opening their pants. A click, that must’ve been their belt buckle. 

What entered his mouth was too big, too hard, too metallic. 

Tommy’s eyes flew open as the barrel of the gun forced his jaw wider. He tried to pull back, but Fletcher snatched a fistful of his hair and held him in place. 

Tommy whimpered that beautiful whimper, but it was more rounded, more frantic.

“Breathe through your nose,” Fletcher said.

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut and followed the order. He tried to breathe deep and slow through his nose. He tried to keep his tongue down as far as he could, to not gag and to not taste the oiled metal.

“I want you to look at me now.”

Tommy slowly opened his eyes. Fletcher was staring down at him impassively.

“Don’t try this shit with me again.”

Tommy couldn’t nod, so he did his best to make an “Uh huh” noise. 

Fletcher withdrew the gun. Tommy doubled forward and hacked. His mouth was left with an awful taste.

“Don’t spit on the floor,” Fletcher said. They picked up a magazine from the cushion beside them and slid it back into the gun. “Go.”

Tommy clamored to his feet and ran off. He managed to get to his room and close the door before fully breaking down into sobs, sliding down to the floor.

He had just been trying to make things better.

~

Tommy cried himself to sleep. Nothing new. He had just hoped to break the habit. 

He shuffled into the kitchen in the morning, and froze when he saw Fletcher sitting at the table, nursing a mug of coffee.

Tommy dropped his gaze quickly. He tried to decide quickly whether he should leave now, or grab some food and then leave. 

“Hey,” Fletcher said. It was softer than Tommy expected. “Sit.”

No running now. Tommy drew out the chair across from them and sat down, still avoiding their gaze.

“I recognize… that I have been harsh,” Fletcher said.

Tommy slowly lifted his eyes towards them, trying to read their expression. Was this a trick? Was he supposed to tell them he deserved it all? Was he supposed to believe them, and be lulled into a false sense of security?

“I didn’t give you a concussion, but, you know, the head can be tricky. And your hand…” They looked for the words. “I try to - I want to keep you in working condition. Nothing that’s going to really put you out of commission for a while. So that probably won’t happen again. Not to your hands. And the gun…” Fletcher ran a hand over their face. “The gun was a lot. That was uncool of me because, you know, gun safety rules.”

Tommy’s mouth was hanging slightly ajar. Was this an apology? At least, as close as Fletcher could get to one? He had expected something closer to, I recognize I’ve been harsh, but if you behaved I wouldn’t have to do these things.

“I know how it feels to have a gun on you,” Fletcher continued. They were the one to look away now. “And I… forget, I guess. That most people aren’t used to it. Can’t shake it off.

“Look, I’m not… not gonna say it will never happen again, but it probably won’t be this bad most of the time. Plenty of days will go by without incident, I’m sure. But I am… a violent person. I have violent tendencies, and I get angry. And I’m not trying to curb these tendencies because I enjoy indulging in them. So…” They tapped their knuckles on the table and shrugged. “That’s the situation. We’re square, for now. So you don’t need to be skulking around anymore. And… nevermind, I was going to say something mean.”

Tommy shifted uncomfortably. “About last night?”

“Yeah.”

“What, I’m not your type?”

Fletcher chuckled. “I was going to say when I want to take sexual advantage of you, I’ll let you know; you don’t have to initiate.”

“Right,” Tommy muttered, looking down again.

“I’m joking,” Fletcher said. “You can tell from my lighthearted expression.” They pointed at their face, purposely putting on a grumpy look. “Anyway, I’m planning my lesson for today. Might have to throw you around a bit for the demo. Nothing personal.”

“Oh,” Tommy said. “Okay, um…”

Fletcher was already up, carrying their coffee out of the room. “Get some breakfast,” they reminded him. “Three meals a day.”

~~~

hm i kind of thought our taglists would overlap more. good luck everyone.

@suspicious-whumping-egg @whumpyourdamnpears @generic-whumperz @lonesome--hunter

@whumplr-reader @theelvishcowgirl @sunshiline-writes @dont-be-gentle-please @galesgallery

@2in1whump @sparrowsage @apokolyps @whumpinggrounds

@morning-star-whump @leviiio @alexmundaythrufriday

@defire @jumpywhumpywriter @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

@light-me-on-pyre @slighlydisturbedbeans @dislexiher @paperprinxe @desert-dyke

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @whatwasmyprevioususername @cursedandtired

@whump-only @misspelledwitch @redstainedsocks @thehopelessopus @im-just-here-for-the-whump

@thatsthewhump @aqua-blogging  @utopian819 @whumpinggoodtime @pretty-face-breaker

[pepprs]

ok um. literally fucking pain and suffering. mutuals i need ur advice vote now on your phones 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[greatcomets]

ok venting in the tags like it's 2014 whatever i'm mentally ill. i'll post a fucked up cat after this to make up for it