#i only mean like 50-80% of this you decide | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

damienns · 5 months ago

Text

My GIF Making process: Screen capturing using MPV player, Organizing files, 3 Sharpening settings, Basic Coloring PSD + Actions set

This is a very long post so heads up.

I’ll try to be as thorough and true as much as possible to the way I make my gifs (I already use Photoshop Actions which I’ve long since set up but now for this tutorial I’m reviewing them to show you the exact steps I’ve learned to create my gifs 😃) and present them to you in a semi-coherent way. Also, please bear with me since English is my second language.

First things first. Below are the things and tools we need to do this:

Downloaded 4K or 1080p quality videos (let’s all assume we know where to get these—especially for high definition movies and tv series—so this post doesn’t get removed, okay? 😛)

Adobe Photoshop CC or the CS versions can work as well, but full disclosure I haven’t created gifs using the CS versions since 2020. I’m currently using Adobe Photoshop 2024.

mpv player. Use mpv player to get those frames/screenshots or any other video player that has a screen grabber feature. I’ve used adapter for the longest time but I’ve switched to mpv because the press to screenshot feature while the video is playing has been a game changer not to mention ultimate time saver for me. For adapter you need to play it in another video player (like VLC player), to get the start and end timestamps of the scene you want to gif which takes me ages before I can even open Photoshop.

Anyway! Please stop reading this post for a moment and head over to this amazing tutorial by kylos. She perfectly tells you how to install and use mpv player, both for Mac and Windows users.

One thing I have to share though, I had a tough time when I updated my MacOS to Sonoma since MPV is suddenly either duplicating frames or when I delete the duplicates the player seems to be skipping frames :/ I searched and found a solution here, though it didn’t work for me lol. My workaround for this in the meantime is decreasing the speed down to 0.70 then start screenshotting—it’s not the same pre Sonoma update but it works so I’ll have to accept it rather than have jumpy looking gifs.

Now, after this part of kylos’ tutorial:

you can continue reading the following sections of my gif tutorial below.

I want to share this little tip (sorry, this will only cater to Mac users) that I hope will be helpful for organizing the screenshots that MPV saved to the folder you have selected. Because believe me you don’t want to go through 1k+ of screenshots to select just 42-50 frames for your gif.

The Control + Command + N shortcut

This shortcut allows you to create a new folder from files you have pre-selected. As you can see below I have already created a couple of folders, and inside each folder I have selected screenshots that I want to include in one single gif. It's up to you how you want to divide yours, assuming you intend to create and post a Tumblr gifset rather than just one gif.

Another tip is making use of tags. Most of, if not all the time, I make supercorp gifs so I tag blue for Kara and red (or green) for Lena—just being ridiculously on brand and all that.

Before we finally open Photoshop, there's one more thing I want to say—I know, please bear with me for the third? fourth? time 😅

It's helpful to organize everything into their respective folders so you know the total number of items/frames you have. This way, you can add or delete excess or unnecessary shots before uploading them in Photoshop.

For example below there are 80 screenshots of Kara inside this folder and for a 1:1 (540 x 540 px) Tumblr gif, Photoshop can just work around with 42-50 max number of frames with color adjustments applied before it exceeds the 10 MB file size limit of Tumblr.

Sometimes I skip this step because it can be exhausting (haha) and include everything so I can decide visually which frames to keep later on. You'll understand what I mean later on. But it's important to keep the Tumblr 10 MB file size limit in mind. Fewer frames, or just the right amount of frames, is better.

So, with the screenshot organization out of the way, let's finally head over to Photoshop.

Giffing in Photoshop, yay!

Let’s begin by navigating to File > Scripts > Load Files into Stack…

The Load Layers window will appear. Click the Browse button next.

Find your chosen screenshots folder, press Command + A to select all files from that folder then click Open. Then click OK.

After importing and stacking your files, Photoshop should display the following view:

By the way, I'll be providing the clip I've used in this tutorial so if want to use them to follow along be my guest :)

If you haven't already opened your Timeline panel, navigate to Windows > Timeline.

Now, let's focus on the Timeline panel for the next couple of steps.

Click Create Video Timeline, then you’ll have this:

Now click the menu icon on the top right corner then go to Convert Frames > Make Frames from Clips

Still working on the Timeline panel, click the bottom left icon this time—the icon with the three tiny boxes—to Convert to Frame Animation

Select Make Frames From Layers from the top right corner menu button.

So now you have this:

Go and click the top right menu icon again to Select All Frames

Then click the small dropdown icon to set another value for Frame Delay. Select Other…

The best for me and for most is 0.05 but you can always play around and see what you think works for you.

Click the top right menu icon again to Reverse Frames.

I think Photoshop has long since fixed this issue but usually the first animation frame is empty so I just delete it but now going through all these steps there seems to be none of that but anyways, the delete icon is the last one among the line of feature buttons at the bottom part of the Timeline panel.

Yay, now we can have our first proper GIF preview of a thirsty Lena 😜

Press spacebar to watch your gif play for the very first time! After an hour and half of selecting and cutting off screenshots! 😛 Play it some more. No really, I’m serious. I do this so even as early (lol) as this part in the gif making process, I can see which frames I can/should delete to be within the 10 MB file size limit. You can also do it at the end of course 🙂

Now, let’s go to the next important steps of this tutorial post which I’ve numbered below.

Crop and resize to meet Tumblr's required dimensions. The width value should be either 540px, 268px, or 177px.

Convert the gif to a Smart Object for sharpening.

Apply lighting and basic color adjustments before the heavy coloring. I will be sharing the base adjustments layers I use for my gifs 😃.

1. Crop and Resize

Click on the Crop tool (shortcut: the C key)

I like my GIFs big so I always set this to 1:1 ratio if the scene allows it. Press the Enter key after selecting the area of the frame that you want to keep.

Side note: If you find that after cropping, you want to adjust the image to the left or another direction, simply unselect the Delete Cropped Pixels option. This way, you will still have the whole frame area available to crop again as needed and as you prefer.

Now we need to resize our gif and the shortcut for that is Command + Opt + I. Type in 540 as the width measurement, then the height will automatically change to follow the ratio you’ve set while cropping.

540 x 540 px for 1:1

540 x 405 px for 4:3

540 x 304 px for 16:9

For the Resample value I prefer Bilinear—but you can always select the other options to see what you like best.

Click OK. Then Command + 0 and Command + - to properly view the those 540 pixels.

Now we get to the exciting part :) the sharpen settings!

2. Sharpen

First we need to have all these layers “compressed” intro a single smart object from which we can apply filters to.

Select this little button on the the bottom left corner of the Timeline panel.

Select > All Layers

Then go to Filter > Convert for Smart Filters

Just click OK when a pop-up shows up.

Now you should have this view on the Layers panel:

Now I have 3 sharpen settings to share but I’ll have download links to the Action packs at the end of this long ass tutorial so if you want to skip ahead, feel free to do so.

Sharpen v1

Go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen…

Below are my settings. I don’t adjust anything under Shadows/Highlights.

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Click OK then do another Smart Sharpen but this time with the below adjustments.

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

As you can see Lena’s beautiful eyes are “popping out” now with these filters applied. Click OK.

Now we need to Convert to Frame Animation. Follow the steps below.

Click on the menu icon at the top right corner of the Timeline panel, then click Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

Then Convert Frames > Convert to Frame Animation

One more click to Make Frames From Layers

Delete the first frame then Select All then Set Frame Delay to 0.05

and there you have it! Play your GIF and make sure it’s just around 42-50 frames. This is the time to select and delete.

To preview and save your GIF go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy)…

Below are my Export settings. Make sure to have the file size around 9.2 MB to 9.4 MB max and not exactly 10 MB.

This time I got away with 55 frames but this is because I haven’t applied lighting and color adjustments yet and not to mention the smart sharpen settings aren't to heavy so let’s take that into consideration.

Sharpen v1 preview:

Sharpen v2

Go back to this part of the tutorial and apply the v2 settings.

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 20

Radius: 0.5

We’re adding a new type of Filter which is Reduce Noise (Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise...) with the below settings.

Then one last Smart Sharpen:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Your Layers panel should look like this:

Then do the Convert to Frames Animation section again and see below preview.

Sharpen v2 preview:

Sharpen v3:

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

Reduce Noise:

Strength: 5

Preserve Details: 50%

Reduce Color Noise: 0%

Sharpen Details: 50%

Sharpen v3 preview:

And here they are next to each other with coloring applied:

Congratulations, you've made it to the end of the post 😂

As promised, here is the download link to all the files I used in this tutorial which include:

supercorp 2.05 Crossfire clip

3 PSD files with sharpen settings and basic coloring PSD

Actions set

As always, if you're feeling generous here's my Ko-fi link :) Thank you guys and I hope this tutorial will help you and make you love gif making.

P.S. In the next post I'll be sharing more references I found helpful especially with coloring. I just have to search and gather them all.

-Jill

458 notes · View notes

chelseeebe · 8 days ago

Text

timeless

18+. mdni. smut. mentions of drugs. no use of y/n!

you find yourself back in hawkins, with nothing but your grandad’s old diner and a bunch of conflicted feelings about your old best friend, can you say goodbye to him all over again?

a/n: set in the 80s but also the 50s idk i just wanted that old timey feeling pretty long fic i was originally going to split up but decided against.. hope you read it and enjoy anyway:)

⋆ and you were headed off to fight in the war, you still would’ve been mine, we would’ve been timeless ⋆

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

hawkins was really the end of the road for you.

deserting the dreams of the big city to come right back to where it had all started.

it had been years since you’d stepped foot in this town, not much had changed since then, if you were completely honest.

still the same old shitty, rundown dump it always was.

eternally grateful that your grandad still owned the old diner at the other end of town, meaning you’d flounced right into a job and somewhere to stay once you’d packed your bags and left new york behind.

it’s nothing like the office used to be, barely seeing a dozen customers a day, only if you were lucky. but it was nice, a change in pace after the hustle and bustle of the city.

the radio hums on quietly in the background, a couple of regulars sit sipping their coffee at various tables. they did this day in, day out. drink coffee, complain about some mundane new issue they had with the town and then shuffle off back to their homes.

it didn’t exactly seem like your idea of fun.

there’s a bang from outside, metal hitting the ground and a chorus of laughter pulling all attention to the back of the kitchen.

you don’t hang around, barrelling through the kitchen to just about catch the gaggle of kids sprinting off down the road leaving behind their cans of spray paint and a delightful new mural on the back wall.

“what the fuck?” screaming out after them though it’s really no use, they’d already gone.

exasperated that in the seven years you’d been gone, the kids hadn’t changed a bit.

you slink back inside, immediately reaching for the phone, hoping that maybe the police had gotten a little better since you’d left.

though you hold no hope, if they were anything like they were when you were a misfit teen, you’re screwed.

the sun had set, the regulars had scurried off home and now it was just you and the crude painting on the wall. hours and hours of waiting for someone to get out to you.

only for the patrol car to rattle up into the parking lot, just as you had given up all hope.

you storm out of the building, infuriated by the nonchalant attitude hawkins police still seemed to hold, “oh, how nice of you to come! i only called three-,” stopping dead in your tracks as the man exits his vehicle.

you still completely, frozen to your spot, blinking rapidly in disbelief.

eddie fucking munson stands, with his thumbs hooked into his belt, at the door of his patrol car. hawkins police department uniform to boot, a complete shell of the man you had known years ago.

“when’d you blow in?” he asks innocuously, slamming the door shut. a new found confidence, or maybe it was cockiness, in his stride.

“last week,” still coming to grips with the fact that the man stood before you was the same nerdy metal head you were once inseparable with, “when’d you become a cop?”

out of all the possible occupations you could’ve imagined eddie munson in, cop would’ve been dead last on that list. in fact, inmate was several dozens of spots higher.

he chuckles, realising how ridiculous it must look, “few years ago,” he’s close now, close enough that you can see his long black curls peeking out the back of his hat, “didn’t know you were coming back, i would’ve been quicker if i’d have known it was you.”

you scoff, very much doubting that, “you should’ve been here hours ago anyway,” beckoning him to the back of the building, no time for reunions while you had a diner plastered in lewd drawings.

“these fuckin’ kids,” you huff, shaking your head like a scolding old lady, “look at it,” motioning at the hideous spray painting they’d vandalised the entire back wall with, “if you were here on time, you might’ve been able to catch ‘em,” turning your displeased scowl to eddie.

the corner of his lips twitches, creeping into a full smile. only angering you further.

“what? d’you think this is funny?”

he shakes his head, cautiously meeting your eye, “no, it’s just.. pretty sure we got taken to the station for doin’ this behind melvalds,” his shoulders shaking as he chuckles.

you stand, straight faced, the irony wasn’t lost on you, it just didn’t feel like a laughing matter.

“are you joking? no, really? you’re serious?” rubbing your fingers viciously over the dried paint, “you can paint this shit since it’s so funny to you.”

“alright alright,” eddie soothes, “i’ll help you paint it,” eyeing the large canvas he’d now been tasked to paint.

“no,” you frown, “i said you can paint it, i’m not helping you.”

he smiles, teeth peeking out from his lips, “you get the paint and i’ll do it, deal?”

driving such a hard bargain, it’s almost impossible not to fall at his feet and sarcastically thank him for his help.

“fine, deal.”

“great,” he beams, “now how about some coffee?”

“we’re closed.”

he exhales, pursing his lips slightly, “please?”

eddie blabbers on about the vagrant youths in hawkins, how just yesterday he was dragging some boy by the scruff of his neck back to his parents.

it’s all great, exhilarating stuff really. except, you can’t help but let your mind wander, noting his lack of visible tattoos and a ripped up band tee.

and then further down onto his wedding ring.

wedding ring?

“you’re married?” you blurt out, staring at the plain band on his fourth finger. eddie munson, married. a feat you had never thought possible.

“huh?” following your gaze down to his hand, “oh, no,” sliding the silver band from his finger, “it’s the only one they’d let me wear.”

his fingers once adorned with various rings and shoddy stick and poke tattoos, now plain and simple with only the shadows of once black markings.

“oh,” looking back at his face, “i don’t like it,” shaking your head as if you had any real say on his jewellery, “doesn’t feel like you.”

eddie takes a sip of coffee, looking just through you, rather than at you, “maybe this is the new me.”

you ponder, wondering whether you should get as equally profound as he was, “maybe.. still don’t like it,” turning to slide the rest of the dirty plates through the hatch, “when’d you decide to become a traitor anyway?”

eddie chuckles loudly, the walkie on his shirt crackling incoherently, “a few years ago, it was either this or jail so..”

“how was it between this or jail? what the hell d’you do?” motioning to his iron pressed getup.

he sighs, looking down into his mug, “hopper caught me selling at the high school.. not just weed but,” he nods, making a circular gesture with his hand, “like, real hard shit..” sighing softly again as his eyes meet yours, “he told me that he could turn me in and i’d be lucky to get a couple years, or he could get me a job down the station and we could forget all about it.”

you can’t help the pang of guilt from seeping across your chest. you’d left pretty abruptly in ‘89, much to eddie’s defiance, leaving him to a town full of people that either hated him or only acknowledged his existence when he was useful to them.

there’s no question as to whether your departure was anything to do with him peddling hard drugs, that was a given.

“well shit,” the frown between your brows deepening, “i’m sorry for opening my mouth,” brushing your hands down your apron, hoping that he would see the funny side.

eddie just shrugs, sliding the empty coffee mug back over the polished wood top, “it’s alright, i don’t mind it actually, not much happens in hawkins anyway.”

“i wouldn’t say that,” you frown, deciding that the mug would simply have to wait until tomorrow to clean, “there’s a bunch of ugly graffiti on the side of my diner,” quirking your brow, hoping it’ll serve as a reminder to why you’d even called him up here in the first place.

his eyes sparkle in the dim light, creasing with contained laughter, “i told you i’ll paint it,” his chair scrapes across the wooden floor, straightening his hat, “where’re you staying now anyway? need a ride?”

you shake your head, looking back at the clock, “i’m at my grandpa’s for the time being.. he should be here soon,” silently praying that he’d arrive so you weren’t forced to ride in the back seat of his patrol car.

certain people would have plenty to say about that for sure.

“alright well.. i’ll see you later,” saluting with his two fingers as he leaves.

an indescribable feeling settles in your stomach. somewhere between melancholy and regret.

maybe things would’ve been different if you’d stayed.

maybe not.

that’s what makes you the most unsettled, it’s a sick nostalgia for something that never even happened.

a question that had plagued you for the past seven years, one you’ll probably never know the answer to either.

you brush whatever wistful, reminiscent reflections out of your mind, turning the lights off to wait for your ride in the mellow july evening instead.

the coffee machine hums, the only thing in this place that seemed to be used consistently. forced to make hundreds of bland black coffees for crony old men day in, day out.

that’s how bored this place had you, pondering the feeling of the inanimate coffee machine. jesus christ.

time creaks on by, ticking slowly as the sun clears off and the night settles in. one more hour and you’d be on your way home, ready for another night of re-runs and a stale tv-dinner with your grandad.

you couldn’t complain really, he’d been extremely welcoming, sorting your own little bedroom out for you in his unused office.

tires screech into the parking lot, crunching on the gravel, alerting you to that damned patrol car pulling up again.

you watch as he does his little routine, strolling into the diner with a tiny smile, sidling up to the counter with such an air of self-importance, it actually makes you a little sick.

“you come to paint the wall?” you quip, offering nothing but a tight lipped smile back.

he clicks his tongue against the back of his teeth, “uh.. no, coffee actually,” pointing to the used and abused machine.

“hmph,” shaking your head, “you promised.”

“yeah and i’m gonna do it,” holding his hands up, admitting that this was a battle he had already lost, “tell you what, i’m free all day next saturday, you get the paint and i’ll be here.”

you don’t believe him, you have no reason to but alas, you nod anyway, “you better or you can kiss this friendship goodbye.”

eddie grins, splaying his palms out flat as he shrugs, “so how about that coffee?”

eddie makes sure to stop in every single day this week. and next. often for hours at a time until his walkie dragged him away and back to the work he’d been ignoring.

like clockwork, his car crunches over the gravel, swinging in to the same spot without fail.

nobody even looks twice as the bell rings, too invested in the financial times to spare a second of their attention.

“you’re here an awful lot,” raising your brows, sliding your notebook back into your apron.

eddie shrugs, placing his hat onto the counter, “what can i say? i like the coffee,” smiling innocently as he takes his seat.

“oh i’m sure,” rolling your eyes in return, grabbing a mug and pouring his coffee before gently sliding it over the bar.

he stays until close tonight, lingering behind as you lock up, no doubt pretending to offer some sort of protection though you’re absolutely sure that you’d be more capable of fighting off any potential threats than he’d ever be.

you look at your watch, knowing your grandad should’ve been here by now. it was a long, treacherous walk back to his place, not exactly something you wanted to tackle at ten pm either.

“you need a ride?” eddie asks, standing at his car with his keys in his hand.

you press your lips together, taking another look at the ticking clock face on your wrist, “if you’re going that way, that’d be great.”

his eyes roll back, knowing that even if he were driving to the other side of the country, he’d still take you home first, “c’mon,” opening the passenger door as you begrudgingly slink over.

he certainly keeps his car in better condition than he ever kept his beat up, old van. sometimes it felt like you’d die from dust inhalation than his shoddy driving.

“they give you this for free?” you ask, admiring the plush leather seats.

“yup,” tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, “pay for the gas too.”

“wowww,” feigning amazement, “you’ve got it good.”

he glances over, scowling just so, unappreciative of your sarcasm, “who’s the one with a driving license and a car here? because it’s not you.”

your mouth falls open, blinking rapidly at his terrible attempt at a joke, “ouch okay,” hoping he’d regret his callousness, though it wasn’t likely.

“i offered to teach you.. you could’ve been on the road by now,” his eyes leaving the road every other second, fingers itching to rest on your knee.

“pffft. driving lessons from you? i’d rather walk.”

you wish he’d just do it, his hands were twitchy, begging to make contact.

they don’t.

keeping on the steering wheel instead.

but he chuckles, low and grumbly, “dustin didn’t wanna learn with me either for some reason.”

“oh wow yeah, i wonder,” turning to stare blankly at the side of his head.

he glances over, shaking his head before turning back to the road, “you’re so mean,” throwing out a pathetic pout.

the car rolls onto the familiar street, an unwilling sinking in your gut that the journey was over too soon.

eddie taps the wheel, peering out of the window at the decaying row of houses, “jeez,” air blowing out of his lips, “hasn’t changed a bit.”

you shake your head, wanting to stay in the car just a bit longer, “nope..” emphasising the ‘p’ as you follow his eye to the splintering door.

he nods, still staring straight ahead rather than daring to meet your eye, “i’m really glad you’re back,” his fingers playing a repetitive tune on the leather, “i feel like i’ve been waiting for you to come home for so long now that i wasn’t sure if you ever would.”

you hadn’t ever planned on it.

dreams of new york had filled your mind for as long as you can remember.

that was supposed to be it.

and at the start it really did seem like you’d spend the rest of your life there. but a string of tumultuous relationships and an awful

boss had forced you back to hawkins.

“i didn’t think i was ever gonna,” sighing softly, “i’m sorry for just.. leavin’ you,” turning unexpectedly bashful, “i thought about you all the time you know? new york’s not really that great but i think you would’ve made it better,” feeling the heat soar to your cheeks.

it was true, at least, at the start. you’d often find yourself wondering about what eddie was up to or if he was thinking of you too.

“don’t apologise for that,” shaking his head, “i get it. if i coulda, i woulda done it too. you’ll have to show me around one day when i’m-,” clearing his throat, “when i’m not stuck at work.”

he sounds off, something hidden in his tone that you really don’t understand. the moment too tender to query it too much, apprehensive to change the subject just as things had started to feel normal again.

“i can do that,” turning to eddie to find him already gazing back. “you gotta give me a tour of the station first though, it’s only fair.”

“deal,” eddie nods, offering his hand out for you to shake.

you do it, not acknowledging his clammy palm or the way his fingers are shaking just so.

“alright,” you nod, breaking the tension, “i better go, you’ve gotta busy day tomorrow,” reminding him of your long-awaited agreement.

“wait-,” grabbing ahold of your fingers before you’re able to climb fully out of the car.

you turn, eyebrow raised, “what?”

he’s been so strange all night, like he’s edging to say something

“uhm.. what time did you say again?”

you blink, baffled by his outburst, “uh.. anytime in the afternoon, i’ll close up early and come and help.”

“o-okay yeah perfect,” letting go of your fingers.

your face contorts but you keep your thoughts to yourself, he was pretty peculiar at the best of times, this was no exception.

“goodnight eds,” finally closing the door, leaving him to his confusing little stupor.

eddie’s there right on time, with a paint bucket in hand and the brush tucked into the pocket of his ratty, paint spattered shirt.

he looks a picture, resembling more wayne than the eddie munson you knew.

“what?” he questions your marvelling expression.

“you look ridiculous,” tucking the cloth back into your apron to get a further look at his get up. his jeans closely resemble the ones he wore as a teen, tattered and torn with spatters of paint adorning the denim. it’s no wonder who he’d stolen his clothes from.

“ouch,” clutching his heart, “i can just go home if you want? leave that graffiti on your wall?”

“i didn’t say that,” tutting your tongue against your teeth, “go on out, i’m just gonna finish up in here and i’ll join ya,” ushering him back out the door.

closing takes longer than you’d expect. mr. casey wasn’t best pleased to hear he had to finish his coffee and go, grumbling all the way out of the door and into his car.

you make it outside just as eddie spreads the last lick of paint onto the wood, “nice of you to join me!”

you stare up at the freshly painted wall, grateful to never have to look at the god awful eyesore every again, “doesn’t look like you needed my help anyway,” feet crunching against the stones as you make your way over to him.

“what d’you think?” proudly showing off his work.

your eyes scan the wall for anything you can make a quick quip about, only to find that he’d really done a great job.

“yeah..” frowning slightly as you peer at the wall, “you just missed a tiny little spot,” gesturing for him to come closer.

“what? where?” stomping over, displeased with your criticisms of his hard work.

“right here,” grabbing the brush from his hand, smearing a streak of dusty grey across his cheek before immediately jumping back to admire your handiwork.

eddie stands in shock, hands in the air while the cogs in his brain tick away slowly, figuring out how to get you back.

he goes for the can, picking up the full metal bucket and angling it in your direction, a maniacal, nay, evil grin on his face.

“don’t even fucking think about it eddie, i’m serious!” dropping the paintbrush in defeat, surrendering your hands in the air.

he cackles, thunderous laughter that makes you shriek in response, hands flying over your face to protect yourself for the onslaught.

eddie bounds over, the paint spilling over onto the floor as he goes, forcing you to brace yourself.

except the paint doesn’t come, daring enough to open your eyes to find him a few steps in front.

“come on,” he complains, “you didn’t really think i was gonna do it, did you?”

“yes! i did!”

he collapses into a fit of laughter, placing the can safely back on the ground, “i would never,” inching closer to prove his innocence.

only, he isn’t at all.

his fingers swipe the paint from his cheek to wipe the dusky colour onto yours instead, a perfect hand print encapsulated on your face.

“you’re an asshole,” grabbing his wrist to redirect his paint covered palm back to his own face.

eddie is, no doubt, stronger than you are. twisting your arm until it’s tangled around your own body. encasing you within your own limbs, held tight by his own unfaltering grip and his chest pressed against your back.

“what was that?”

“you’re an asshole and i’m going to scream if you don’t let me go,” an empty threat really, considering the dreary regulars had all shuffled off home and the nearest neighbourhood was a good mile east.

“i mean, you can if you want to but i don’t think anyone’ll hear you,” snickering into your ear.

you hadn’t anticipated that he’d now had years of experience with apprehending criminals, you were never a worthy opponent nowadays.

you lurch forward, taking both of your bodies over to the wall, eddie’s clumsy clown feet knocking over the tin of paint on his way. splashing the bottoms of your legs and shoes with the ghastly stuff.

you go stumbling into the still-wet wall, eddie following closely behind, pressing your back into the sticky paint. his chest heaves, still holding onto your arm though you’d come to face him now. his fingers twitch against your skin, slotting his between yours, holding your hand against the wall after the most painful few weeks of almosts.

quickly, his other hand comes to cup your chin, tilting it up to meet his. in a split second he goes from staring at your lips to crashing his into them.

knocking your head back against the wall with such ferocity, years of tension and unanswered pining leading to this moment.

“jesus christ,” he mutters through rushed kisses, “i’ve been waiting to do this for so long,” combing his dirtied fingers through your wild hair.

your arms snake around his neck, surely spreading white finger prints across his clothes and into his hair, “you should’ve.”

the sun beats down on your skin, painting his face a glorious orange hue, wanting nothing more than to bask in this view for the rest of your life.

eddie pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours, “you okay?”

you’re breathless, chest heaving against his, “yeah,” falling into a fit of giggles, “yeah.. are you?”

he nods, fingertips gently tucking strands of messy hair behind your ear, “yeah.. well, i’m better now,” ducking his head to lean in and meet your lips again.

you’d read about sparks flying and all sorts of other romanticisms in books for years, brushing them off as exaggerated works of fiction, only now, the very happenings you’d denied were happening to you.

to feel that someone’s lips were made so perfectly just for you seemed absurd, but truly, it was possible.

eddie’s words rumble against your lips, incomprehensible as your brain is preoccupied with processing what was happening.

“hey.. hey,” only really hearing him once he’d pulled away and was staring into your eyes with his deep, brown ones. “anyone home?” laughing at your vacant smile, as if he weren’t the culprit behind it.

“just shut up and kiss me again.”

the evening winds down rather quickly, now covered in peeling eggshell paint, your uniform half-off, half-dirtied.

you didn’t mind one bit, slowly making your way inside the diner to attempt to clean yourself up before heading home.

“since we’re in here..” eddie starts, leaving you wondering what was going to come out of his mouth next, “coffee?” eyeing the machine you’d already polished and turned off.

“seriously?” dead-eyed as you turn to face him.

“i wasn’t lyin’ about coming for the coffee,” smiling from across the bar, “i just didn’t mention that i was also coming to see you.”

your eyes roll back instinctively, however sweet he was being.

eddie offers to take you home, a gesture of goodwill after you clean him up and fill him with free coffee. both of you skirting around the fact he had you pinned up against the wall just mere hours ago.

if he’s not going to, you have to.

there was no going to back to normal, not after that, not after he had proclaimed that he had been waiting for that.

“pull over,” you blurt out. too loudly, too rushed that eddie can’t help but panic, questioning your urgency and most likely, safety.

but he follows your orders, pulling into the nearest clearing, all the while looking completely panicked and a little unsettled.

the engine is barely off before you’re sliding over onto the drivers seat, thighs resting either side of his as you skilfully lean down to push his chair back all at once. refusing to give him the chance to jabber his way out of this one.

“hey.. woah, what the fuck?” chuckling softly though his hands reluctantly come to rest on your hips, eyes darting around the dark outside of the window, “i’m in my patrol car.. what if someone sees?”

“who d’you think’s gonna see?”

“i-i dunno,” allowing himself to get comfortable, “but i’ll get fired,” reluctance in his throat.

“you can come work at the diner, you’re there all the time anyway,” interrupting his worrisome whining with a kiss to the side of his lips, taking his bottom lip between your teeth.

he indulges for a moment, sighing softly into your parted lips before hastily pulling away, “i mean it, i can’t,” gazing up to you with his doe-like eyes.

“fine,” you grumble, sliding back into the passenger seat, “d’you wanna come over? grandad’ll be asleep by now,” picking at your fingernails like some teenager talking to her crush.

that’s sort of what he was, an eternal crush that you’d never really get over.

“you sure? we could.. i mean, wayne still lives with me but i’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” eddie offers, though the thought of doing anything in that trailer made you recoil and shudder.

it was cozy and served you well during your adolescence but privacy was nonexistent, every breath or movement was projected very clearly into the next room.

you shake your head, “i’m closer anyway, i’m sure it’ll be fine,” after years of living on your own, debating where the safest place to have sex was seemed like a hundred steps back.

eddie can hardly focus, hand squeezing your knee the entire drive over. any longer and he’d have broken skin, that’s certain.

but now it’s your turn, you can’t keep your paint tarnished hands off of him, the second eddie steps over the threshold and into the corridor, you pounce. wrapping your arms tight around his neck, pressing your lips together with such ferocity that he falls back into the wall.

but he catches up quick, finding your waist as he walks the both of you up the hall, hungrily grabbing at the sliver of flesh peeking from underneath your shirt.

a light at the top of the staircase flicks on, forcing your lips apart.

“hi sweetie,” your grandad calls from upstairs, “good day?”

eddie’s fingers squeeze your waist, sharing a panicked look before you clear your throat, “hey grandpa.. it was good,” knowing full well that he wouldn’t venture out of his room at this time to catch you, “i’ll see you in the morning, alright?” ushering eddie through the kitchen door.

“okay, goodnight dear,” he calls, the light finally flickering off allowing you to release the breath you weren’t aware you were holding.

silently pulling him down the tiny hall and into your converted bedroom, holding in a devious cackle.

it really wouldn’t matter if he had caught you, grandad had always been a huge fan of eddie’s, cooking him dinner and offering him unsolicited dating advice during your teens. if anything, he’d be championing the ship.

“oh my god,” you mouth, closing the door, your room was the tiny office space right at the back of the house, which in hindsight, seemed like the best option now.

eddie’s hands find you again, resting on your hips with a sickening smile, “thought he was asleep?”

your eyes roll back on their own, hooking your arms around his neck once again, “so did i,” guiding him towards the bed, “just be quiet and we’ll be okay,” rushing to unbutton his shirt.

fifteen years of friendship boiling down to this very moment, a litany of teenage tension and hidden feelings bubbling to the surface all at once.

eddie moves your bodies as one, lowering your back onto the bed with tepid hands, coming down on top of you, “i don’t know if i can do quiet.”

“well try,” you hush, connecting your lips in a haste, rushing to unbutton the rest of his messy shirt.

grandad was partially deaf, the likelihood of him hearing anything was minuscule, but you weren’t willing to take that risk.

his tongue swipes across your bottom lip, no longer the novice he once was apparently. groaning softly into your mouth with every slight move of his hips.

you struggle with his shirt, his now-defined arms hold himself above you, leaving the fabric draped around his shoulders. you can’t complain, fingertips tracing over the solid muscle, a stark contrast to the spindly biceps you once clung to.

he taps your hip, signalling for them to move, allowing him to slide your pants down your thighs.

eddie had seen you naked a handful of times, mostly followed by you screaming at him to get or close his eyes. it was different then, when being naked in front of someone was the most personal thing you could ever do.

now it feels natural, his hands roaming your body as if they’ve always belonged there.

tossing his shirt to the ground before working on removing yours, all the while pressing hungry kisses to your lips, jaw and neck. chest heaving with the palpable tension.

it’s mostly silent bar your concealed sighs and the sound of his lips smacking against the crook of your neck.

he’s so hard, nudging against your aching core, you can feel it with every tilt of his hips, painstaking in the way he comes so close just to pull back again.

your panties end up on the heap of clothes last, eddie’s teeth gnaw at his bottom lip, watching the lacy fabric slide over your supple thighs.

“fuck,” gasping under his breath, marvelling your bare body.

his boxers go next, your eyes trailing down to his slick cock, far different to how you’d ever imagined.

there’s a slight jolt in your stomach, wondering why you’d ever waited so long for this to happen.

you’d have to make up for lost time, secret pining and infantile crushes all gone to waste.

two fingers tease your hole, shining in your release as they draw in and out. stifling the squeaks of pleasure into your palm, thighs closing around his arm.

you could truly cum from this alone, so pent up, so turned on that just his thumb tapping at your clit had you clenching around his digits.

“need.. more,” holding onto his bicep, refusing to let him prolong this any further.

“yeah?” eddie nods, “i can do more,” positioning himself at your sopping entrance, waiting for your go ahead to slide in.

“yes.. yes.”

he slips inside with a groan, only, the groan doesn’t come from his lips, but instead the creaky old mattress holding you both up.

eddie freezes, wide-eyed as his hips still. there was no way you could have sex on this old thing, at least not indiscreetly.

your lips twitch, laughing at the sheer insanity of this entire encounter, the world was clearly against the idea of you two having sex.

he falls into a quiet chuckle, still halfway inside of you at this point, “what should i do?” unwilling to disrespect your grandad while also being unwilling to give this up.

you felt like a teenager again, sneaking around with boys you shouldn’t, except, this time you’re twenty five and far too old to be worrying about being caught in the act.

“just- just fuck me,” you order, sick of the karmic interventions. there was only so much you could tolerate before things became too ridiculous.

eddie’s eyelashes flutter, letting his hips move as your cunt envelopes him.

“god- fu-uck,” fingers gripping at the sheets besides your head. beginning to lose his sanity already.

your pants fill the room, closely followed by the sound of his skin colliding with yours. moving in perfect harmony around one another in a bid to keep this as quiet as possible.

“eddie,” you sigh, loosening your grip on his neck only to cradle his cheek, meeting his eye in what was possibly the closest he had ever felt to anyone in his life.

there’s no hope in this lasting much longer, not with the way he was fumbling his words, certainly not with his cock twitching as he reached new, otherworldly heights. though his strokes are slow, they make your legs tremble, his tip nudging softly against your sweet spot.

your chin tilts, pressing clumsy kisses to the side of his mouth, panting in tandem with one another.

there’s something skilful about the way he angles himself, sliding in and out of your glistening pussy, pulling almost all the way back out just to end up filling you to the hilt again.

refusing to think about the implications of that.

“sweetheart i can’t- won’t last much longer,” whining against your cheek, carelessly pecking the soft skin.

“nearly.. nearly there,” you breathe, letting your eyes roll back, focusing on the way his core meets your clit and his soft cries that fill your ears.

this gives him the much needed determination to not let himself topple over before you had. coming even closer as he lowers himself, using one hand to glide down to your throbbing clit, two fingers rubbing lazy circles in time with his messy thrusts.

your stomach flips without warning, falling to pieces underneath his body as your thighs tighten around his hips. cumming around his cock, accompanied by incoherent mewls, an attempt to keep quiet though it fails miserable.

eddie’s hips sputter, grunting with each feeble, final thrust. barely pulling out before he cums, thick ropes of his release paint your cunt and stomach.

“ohh shit,” he curses, sitting back on his knees to assess his mess.

heaving for breath as he searches frantically for something to clean you up, a reformed gentleman. there’s no way eddie of the past would ever think to do something so thoughtful.

“there’s a towel.. somewhere,” gesturing vaguely to the floor, though your legs are intertwined with his, making it a much harder ordeal.

he scrambles off anyway, sweaty skin on skin causing him to fumble, almost tripping over completely just to save himself seconds before disaster.

your cackle erupts, watching him stumble around like a mad man. this had been anything but the quiet endeavour it should’ve been, and yet you can’t bring yourself to care.

after years of waiting for things to fall into place, they finally felt like they had. like something had clicked and you were right where you were supposed to be. what you had been missing was eddie, a best friend before he was ever a lover. someone that knew you and not just the version of you the city brought out.

“jesus christ,” he huffs, wiping his release from your stomach, “i tried,” tossing the towel back onto the floor, coming to collapse beside you.

immediately nestling into his side, still giggling over his pathetic tumble, “you’re ‘bout as grateful as a baby deer,” placing a hand on his chest, much leaner than his teenage years.

“be grateful i’m too tired to fight back,” sliding his arm under your resting body, bringing you in close. “god i missed you so much,” he sighs, melancholy out of nowhere, “i uh.. i..” trailing off into silence, while his fingers find their way onto your shoulder, drawing lines on the goosebumped skin.

you’re too weary to pay too much attention to his muttering, dozing off to sleep with the help of his chest. there’s something about his thumping heartbeat that soothes your messy head, he could tell you in the morning if it were truly that important.

a late august morning blooms outside the window, peeking through the curtains to pull you from your slumber.

only to find an empty bed and the scent of bacon wafting into your bedroom.

that can only mean one thing, and that petrifies you.

there’s no saying what your grandad would divulge about you over morning coffee, he was terrible at secrets at the best of times.

“..what’s going on?” rounding the corner with apprehension in your face, not wanting to disrupt whatever conversation they were having.

you meet eddie’s eye first, his lopsided grin and messy hair making your own smile emerge, grateful that he hadn’t ran off during the night.

“breakfast,” your grandad replies, sharp and snappy but soft as always, “we normal folks tend to eat it in the morning,” a dig at your late awakening, despite the clock only reading 9:30.

“has anyone ever told you how funny you are?” pulling a face behind his back, purely for eddie’s benefit.

your grandad hums, “i found eddie here, rather underdressed, coming out of your bedroom this morning,” transferring the greasy bacon onto a plate, thankfully avoiding all eye contact, though you can spot his cheeky smirk a mile away.

“oh.. right,” catching eddie’s eye just to widen your own, terrified for what else he may come out with.

there’s a silence between the three of you, only the sounds of cutlery clinking against the plates and your feet shuffling awkwardly around the kitchen.

“i don’t care,” he announces, breaking the uncomfortably long quiet, “i think you deserve this more than anything,” finding your gaze, a gentle, sincere smile plastered over his face.

“thank you grandad,” ignoring eddie for a second, you’d shared tidbits of your time in the city, but nothing compared to what your grandad had heard for years.

“i mean it,” he starts, including eddie in the conversation finally, “you’ve both grown into remarkable young people and you..” pointing his fork at eddie’s smiling face, “you, i would’ve never guessed you’d grow up,” eddie doesn’t wince, taking his jabs on the chin, “but look at you.”

eddie nods, grinning sincerely, “thank you sir, i appreciate it,” a tender moment that makes your heart swell.

you don’t want to call it what it so obviously is, not yet. but watching him grin at your grandad, completely domesticated and tender, you can’t help but think about it.

your grandad smiles, sliding plates of food in front of you both, “now get and eat this before it goes cold.”

the diner had apparently become a circus of sorts, only you seemed to be the main attraction.

now that things were partially out there and eddie didn’t feel so scared to let you ride him in his patrol car, people, namely his colleagues had become regulars at the diner.

you wouldn’t have ever cared, really. it was bound to get out at some point and if this was going to be a permanent, serious thing, you’d have to meet them all eventually.

what you aren’t fond of, is their incessant staring, the gawping and tittering about your endeavours.

eddie hadn’t believed you, always arriving just after they’d left, leaving you feeling crazed all alone.

except for today, too busy refilling coffee to notice his car pull up, his lackeys too busy watching you refill coffees to notice either.

the bell rings above the door, your eyes flitting up to find him staring at the table.

they notice one by one, quickly looking down into the mugs and unfinished eggs, embarrassed and rosy-cheeked.

vindicated in your madness at last.

“afternoon,” eddie nods, strolling over to the counter, looking more amused than the angry, stern eddie you’d hoped for.

“hmph,” awaiting his reaction,

“you weren’t joking, huh?” eyeing the rambunctious table, his chest puffed out to showcase his seniority.

you scoff, rolling your eyes, “no,” making your way around the bar to grab his arm, “what’ve you told them? i thought we weren’t going to make this a big thing,” shoving the mug of coffee into his chest, though he didn’t deserve your hospitality.

eddie holds his hands up high, a plea for his innocence, or forgiveness, “i just.. i told a few people about you. i’m happy, im sorry,” opting for puppy dog eyes. “i didn’t think they’d come up here to antagonise you, honest,” stroking your arm, a gesture of peace you can’t help but resist.

your eyes narrow, slipping away from his grasp to get back to your job, “you’re so lucky i like you.”

eddie had stayed until close again, mumbling something about vacation and helping out. but you’re ravenous the second the door locks, a one track mind to get into his pants and out of yours.

tugging him by the collar into the kitchen, throwing yourself on him with such ferocity his body almost sends the cutlery to the floor as he holds the counter for stability.

“okay.. okay,” he laughs, breaking away from your lips to hoist you atop of the cold, steel counter, “rough day, huh?”

you nod, wasting no time in getting your legs wrapped around his midriff, arms draped over his shoulders. now that having this was a real thing, you didn’t want to ever stop.

your lips find solace in the crook of his neck, working your way up to his ear, your teeth nibbling at the sensitive skin.

“huh- fuck okay,” eddie’s hands clamp down on the surface top, enveloping you perfectly within his grasp. his uniform hangs off of his frame, disheveled by your wandering hands.

eyes scanning the clearly empty restaurant for what feels like the thousandth time already, as if even he believed that someone would sneak in just to catch you two out.

“eds please,” huffing frustratedly into his ear, “i practically own this place.. no one’s gonna find us,” snapping his distracted gaze back to your pouty lips, his hands settling on your hips almost immediately.

“i know i know,” nodding along, “okay, shit,” further diving into the space between your legs, his cock teasing as it nudges your clothed entrance.

“need you so bad,” jutting your bottom lip out further, fingers dipping below the messy collar of his button up, in dire need of something a little more substantial to satiated the ache between your legs.

his twitchy fingers struggle with the button of your jeans, failing him in his time of need.

“ah fuck,” eddie gives up completely. head dipping into the small space between you, forehead resting on your chest.

“what’s wrong? what’s.. what’s the matter?” you tug at his hair in an attempt to bring him back upright.

he sighs, the warm air splaying across your exposed skin, “i gotta tell you something,” finally reemerging to meet your eyes, “you’re gonna be mad but.. i just need you to listen, okay?”

your brows furrow, features crumpling in sheer confusion. he was terrifying like this, cryptic and coy. what could he possibly have to say that couldn’t wait until after you’d fucked?

“what is it?” your voice trembling, still cradling his face, terrified for whatever he might blurt out.

he sighs again. deep and guttural as his gaze flickers, “i’m.. sorry, first of all. for not telling you about this.”

your anger and worry both grow increasingly stronger, “sorry for what? eddie, i don’t understand what’s going on.”

eddie pauses, brushing his thumb over your hot cheek, “i’m being shipped out on monday,” chewing down on his lip nervously. rightly so too.

dropping the bombshell of the century at five in the afternoon as you sat pathetically, covered in grease and coffee stains all the while ridiculously turned on.

“what?”

his mouth opens but nothing comes out, he’d run out of things to say already. he’d had weeks and weeks to tell you, to at least prepare himself for what to say and this was the best he could come up with?

“why didn’t you tell me?” dropping your hand, positively raging with the stupid boy, “how long have you known?”

you can almost hear the gulp, regret and guilt seeping through his face immediately, “the day after you got back,” sounding utterly pathetic.

your hands push him back instinctively, anger pulsing through your veins, “and you didn’t tell me?” you slide off of the counter, shoving him backward.

“i didn’t know how..” scrambling now, refusing to allow his cowardice ruin this, “i wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you again-“

“-don’t! don’t do that!” jabbing your finger harshly into his chest, “why didn’t you fucking tell me!”

“because i was scared,” eddie somehow remains level-headed despite your lack of control, “i didn’t know that i was gonna feel this way or that you were gonna stick around again,” sighing frustratedly, “i never wanted to hurt you,” a complete and utter dejection in his voice.

your lip trembles, tears threatening to spill over, “and you thought that not telling me would be any better?”

“no! i didn’t..” shaking his head, hands reaching out one more time, “i wasn’t thinking at all,” you don’t push him away this time, too encompassed by your devastation to notice his hands grab yours.

“you’re unbelievable eddie,” scolding him for his ignorance, but he can feel you relax into his touch, “three days… three days is all i’ve got to say goodbye again,” forlorn, already wishing away the year.

what if he never come back?

he could meet someone else, decide that hawkins was a dead end and stay the rest of his life with someone other than you.

it’s unfathomable, the last time you said goodbye, you didn’t see him again for years.

eddie’s eyes are wet,

“wait for me,” he nods assuredly, “a year and i’ll be back,” trembling as he speaks, desperate to not lose you again, “please.”

“a year?” you fret, angry all over again, “i’ve just.. i’ve just got you back! you can’t-” struggling to breathe through your sobs, “what if you don’t come back? and then i’m stuck here for the rest of my life waiting for you!”

“that’s not gonna happen,” pressing the rough pads of his thumbs into your wrists, keeping you in his hold, “i’m coming back for you,” wrapping your arms around his waist, pulling you into his chest where your cries become muffled wails. “i want to be with you forever. you don’t have to worry about that,” resting his chin atop of your head, drawing soothing patterns into your back.

“promise me,” you blubber, pulling back just enough to catch his eye, “promise me that you’ll come back,” sniffling through your words, a mess that would scare any man from coming back.

“i promise you, i’m coming back.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader

212 notes · View notes

thenightling · 10 months ago

Text

Dead boy Detectives review

I've watched all eight episodes of Dead Boy Detectives and it was a decent show. It's not something I may obsess over like The Sandman, or The Witcher, but it was decent.

Dead Boy Detectives is the story of Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland. Edwin was killed during a Satanic ritual in 1916. Charles died from hypothermia and internal bleeding after some bullies drove him into an ice-cold lake while throwing rocks at him.

(Note: That was not how Charles actually died in the source material. In the comics, Lucifer had quit and shut down Hell (the basis for the TV show Lucifer) so many evil souls returned to Earth, including the boys that sacrificed poor Edwin. They badly burnt Charles' back on a hot stove and Charles died from his injuries.)

The two ghosts decided to dedicate their afterlife solving mysteries to help other ghosts find peace. They are aided by psychic, Crystal Palace, who is haunted by her abusive ex-boyfriend who happens to be a demon.

Both Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland originated in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists, The Sandman: Volume 4. Issue 25 of The Sandman comics, and within Act 2 of The Sandman audio drama.

The Dead Boy Detectives made their TV first appearance in Doom Patrol for HBO Max (now Max). During a shakeup at Max the show was moved over to Netflix as to better connect it with The Sandman since that is where they originated.

The show features different actors from the ones that played Charles and Edwin on Doom Patrol.

The Dead Boy Detectives is a decent show but ...it feels a bit like a CW teen drama. I had been told that some of the show's writers were originally writers for the CW... and it shows.

There are some deliberately surreal elements of the show that I think are a callback to their appearance in Doom Patrol.

I love the variety of supernatural entities in the show, including the appearance of two of Morpheus's siblings. Death and Despair. The things I don't like about the show can be considered CW tropes or cliches. The angsty romances and unrequited love. The ham-fisted abusive ex metaphor between Crystal and David The Demon.

And of course the most tedious of CW tropes, the end of the episode pining and angst while a sad pop song plays in the background.

If you look past the CW-ness of it, the show is enjoyable.

The only other things I can complain about is the "connecting thread" subplot of The Afterlife: Lost and Found feels like unnecessary filler. And I wish they would openly establish that Edwin, being an innocent, would NOT return to Hell if collected by Death now. I don't think that should be left hanging over his head. Especially since we're supposed to see Death as a kind entity. Also I think Charles says "Aces" a little too much. It's very distracting and makes me feel like the writers didn't know much late 80s English slang. It would be like if he was an American and they had him say "Radical" all the time. I get that it's kind of his catchphrase but it also got a bit annoying.

The parts I don't like are CW tropes and what I'd consider to be late 90s Vertigo edginess.

The thing I liked were plentiful though. The protagonists were and are likable. The ending is satisfying enough so that if there is only one season this was still good. I liked that it appears that one can ascend out of Hell after some self-reflection as is indicated by the boy Edwin confronted in Hell. The blue light was established to mean ascension, a good afterlife.

I also LOVE the opening credits theme music and animated sequence. It reminds me of the intro to Showtime's Creature Feature movies. (See the trailer for 2001's She Creature, not the 50s version. Watch the trailer at thirteen seconds in, on Youtube, and you'll see what I mean).

That's two Gothic themed shows from Netflix in the last two years with great opening credits sequences. The first being Wednesday. That one won Danny Elfman an Emmy.

It's funny, Wednesday and Dead Boy Detectives (which is a spin-off of The Sandman) have great opening credit intro sequences but The Sandman does not. Apparently Neil Gaiman was told people don't watch the opening credits anymore so The Sandman doesn't have them.

I feel we were cheated out of what could have been a great opening sequence for The Sandman.

Episodes 7 and 8 of Dead Boy Detectives were probably the best of the series. I liked it well enough that if Dead Boy Detectives gets renewed I'll happily watch season 2.

#Dead Boy Detectives #The Dead Boy Detectives #The Sandman #Sandman

393 notes · View notes

ronearoundblindly · 3 months ago

Note

For every cevans who are the ass men and who are the boob men 👀😏 .. maybe there are some who like both equally?

This...did not at all shake out the way I thought it would at first. More of them lean towards the top rather than the bottom, but the one's who like the butt really, really like the butt. I decided to do percentages in order of preference--the formula shows up as % tits / % ass. Warnings for sexual discussion.

A/N: What a bizarre thing to find myself thinking about for HOURS...

Ransom Drysdale 90 / 10

In a word? Jewelry. Now, an expensive necklace laying just in the valley of your breasts is not the only reason Ran prefers this view, but it's the main one.

Jimmy Dobyne 85 / 15

Breeding kink and lactation kink. Sorry. He's a simple man who is deep-down obsessed with your tits getting bigger because of him and what he did to you. This is a man who enjoys getting completely lost in sex (in his own head though, since he's not using a lot of brainpower to check in with you and your needs during the actual act).

Curtis Everett 80 / 20

He's hands-on, and the simple truth is it's easier to have his hands (or mouth) on your breasts during foreplay or missionary, even doggy-style. Curtis enjoys touch far more than he'll admit out loud, so there's also the simple fact that when you hug, he gets more contact with your top than your bottom, or dancing, or sleeping, etc. There is--and I will die on this hill--something deeply primal aroused in him when he sees your bare décolleté. Somehow that is more exposed and naughtier than you wondering around in a bikini. Not sure how to explain that further. Breasts to neck are just his real estate.

Steve Rogers 75 / 25

I mean, the guy was eye-level with them for most of his life, so yeah, Steve's fascinated by tits. He also finds laying on your chest deeply soothing. He likes the soft, sensual side of showing attention to your tits and loves when they're very sensitive. Don't get me wrong; Steve enjoys a well-balanced woman, and he will dote on all of you. He just...really likes playing with your boobs, darn it!

Important note: read that stat as "25% backside" for Steve's delicacy, please. He won't say the other thing...

Andy Barber 70 / 30

The low-key version of Ransom in the sense that for public and work events, Andy would like to show off how gorgeous you are. It's difficult to really highlight the ass without being too risqué, and he'd be far more angry if a bunch of people stared at your backside all night. He's comfortable being envied for your top half, thanks.

Jake Jensen 60 / 40

Purely a numbers game: he is more likely to be flashed than mooned, so Jake is slightly more enamored by the titties. Apart from that, his answer to the question of either/or is "yes."

Johnny Storm 50 / 50

Always changing it up because he's always on the cusp of getting bored, Johnny goes through phases. However, he is equally and actively interesting in both your tits and your ass in a sexual way which is why he gets the actual number percentages, unlike...

James Mace & Bucky Barnes- Indifferent

Slightly different reasons, but at any given time, these two change preferences. Bucky is more emotional and moody in his affection/attention, so depending on the day, he could be wildly into your breasts or your butt. He could also be really into you doting on him. This could all be for nine-million different little experiences that happened in a day or a week. Bucky can't be pinned down as just one thing--partly because he's been several different people in his life.

Mace appreciates that there are esthetically pleasing versions of body parts, that people have different ideals for those, and that it is nice to have one or more of those ideal exist in the relationship. Mace is also practical. Your body will change over time. Hell, his body will definitely change after months in space, so who is he to point out that your ass looked better one way while he loses 30 pounds of muscle between times you seen him? It's not fair and it's not realistic. He just...can't find the energy to care much about this argument. There are more important things that could be an actual problem if they changed, but your body isn't one of them.

[Enormous gap in percentages]

Ari Levinson 10 / 90

I may hate the phrase but Ari is definitely a 'dirty daddy.' He quite likes a nasty, no-holds-barred fuck fest, and those have way more to do with your lower half than your upper half. Something about your ass being his is also more satisfying than any other piece of you. He's a bit possessive that way.

Lloyd Hansen 1 / 99

Boobs can be fake, and unless he is actually fucking your tits, they aren't doing anything for him. Lloyd feeds off of touch sexually, so it's all about that booty bouncing on him or taking him deep or bruising beneath his grip, know what I mean? Yeah, you do, @ellethespaceunicorn.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

90 notes · View notes

solacescastleglow · 1 month ago

Text

75 Soft, Student + Mental Health Edition

It's the new year, which means it's time for another 75 day challenge! My 75 Soft version for studying success has two sections - learning and wellbeing. Since this is a more gentle program focussed on consistency rather than perfection, I've added in the ability to skip or mess up one day a week in case life happens. Some of these are specific to me and my needs, so feel free to modify as needed.

• 45 minutes of studying (or other learning)

As a part time online history student, I count studying as watching lectures, doing readings, working on assignments, or going on field trips for research. If you're a full time student or study something with more memorisation involved, you can increase this amount.

• Duolingo + 15 minutes of immersion + 1 story summary a week

My goal is to get one unit of Duolingo done every two days, so that's about 15-30 minutes already, but I don't think I can learn French with Duolingo alone. I'm going to increase the amount of immersion per quarter, but for Q1 it's only 15 minutes, so I've found some French TikTokers and YouTubers to watch. I learned about the story summary method on Pinterest and it's so simple: read a story or article in your target language, then summarise what you read in your target language. I don't have enough stories to do that every day, so I'm going to do it once a week.

• Read 10 pages

Reading allows for more unstructured learning and can help with critical thinking, among so many other things. I like reading classics and non fiction, but it can be any book. Right now, I'm reading The Bell Jar (it's amazing).

• Any amount of outdoor exercise

It's always good to get fresh air! My main fitness goal of this year is to learn how to do pistol squats, and the steps outside my house are perfect for squat touchdowns. I do anywhere from 10-50 on each side per day, and when I get stronger I can aim for two steps down.

• Any amount of indoor exercise

There are some movements I love doing, but they can't/shouldn't be done outside, so I've added indoor exercise to this. Doing my little ballet spins (based on fouettes but definitely not real ones since I haven't learned ballet), at-home pilates with my sibling, or a light arm workout can really boost my mood throughout the day.

• No caffeine until 90 minutes after waking

This is just good advice. I can't remember which hormones exactly but I know it messes with your circadian rhythm to have caffeine first thing in the morning. Most days I'm good with this but every so often a cup of tea gets made too early.

• No binging or restricting food

I'm learning how to listen to my body this year, and for that I need to stop letting my head decide how much I eat. No more emotional binges, and no more guilty restriction. I will eat whenever I'm hungry, and stop when I'm 80% full.

• 2 large meals made with whole foods

This is mostly to help me keep up with my main contribution to the household: planning and cooking all the meals. My breakfast is already pretty healthy, I'd say, and I don't need lunch, so it's only dinner that matters. I love finding new recipes to try, and I love the way my body feels after eating something with lots of vitamins, minerals, and protein.

• 8 hours of sleep

If I don't sleep a full 8 hours, I am contractually obliged to nap. Really, it should be longer than 8 hours for me, but I'm getting way better at staying awake throughout the day so I'm leaving it at that.

• Leave the house alone 4 times a week

My therapist made me do this every day back in August, but I got a bit too comfortable recently and now going out is starting to scare me again. Time to maintain that muscle.

• 3 30 min sessions of ERP a week

I decided this year that I would stop letting my OCD control my life. I had been passively working on it for a couple of years, but it's time to take it seriously. I've learned some ways to respond to intrusive thoughts without doing compulsions, and I'm excited to see them start to work.

#it girl #self improvement #that girl #level up #75 soft #75 hard #op

45 notes · View notes

britneysice · 6 days ago

Text

I actually need to rant about everything bad Brian May has done because everyone acts like he's SO innocent and it pmo so bad. I literally JUST say someone on Pinterest say "ugh.. he's only so pure..." because there was this goofy ass whisper about 'freaky' Brian whispers (the OP literally called me out???) I know this lowk has nothing to do with what I'm talking about but I needed to say that 😪.

They forget this is the same man who cheated on his first wife when she was pregnant TWICE. First time was when she was pregnant with Jimmy (I don't know if they knew they were pregnant yet though but the timeline matches up to when she was pregnant so it doesn't matter) on their New's Of the World american tour. I think what had happened was there was an after-party somewhere in New Orleans and he went after Peaches and yk. I'm pretty sure Chrissy would've been at least 2 months at this time, adding up Jimmy's birthday and the tour's start. I think there was a other time she just disappeared. I don't know. I'm not an expert correct me if I'm wrong. I think the time she might've fled was when they played in New Orleans in '75.

Second time, the most known time. Anita and Brian's PUBLIC affair. Positively insane. They were always so lovey-dovey on TV and then acted shocked when they got caught. Well, what did you think was going to happen. All the blame is actually 50/50 for them both. I mean, Brian was the one who talked to her first but Anita was the one who KNEW he had a wife and still decided to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Quite literally in interviews she has said they met at a movie premiere and she stepped over Chrissy like wowww. But it's also Brian's fault because he was the one who went back to Anita time and time again. I also heard they met because they hooked up some time around live aid? I don't know if this is true. I'd believe it if it was though. He also made her cry on TV because he "broke up" with her. knowing well he wouldn't go back to Chrissy if it was the last thing he did. #justiceforchrissy

This 'man' is a man child to the farthest extent. On Queen's first Japan tour Brian had a fit in a bar. After a show, Brian went to the bar and was trying to get a drink but the dude behind the counter was like, "uh hey bro we're about to close. no more drinks for the night." and Brian had a whole tantrum and started shouting "Do you know who I am!". This one is pure facts. Also when he would start fights in the studio for NO REASON. Punched Roger in the face for no reason in the studio. He is a stubborn control freak and it shows. He can't take any criticism to save his life.

This man can't stop cheating. I know I listed cheating a paragraph before the last but that was JUST when his wife was pregnant 😹. He has a lot of known cheating stories but there's still some that aren't addressed that he has accidentally mentioned before. Speaking of, he was on the "Fret Not' podcast a little over a year ago (video here). At about 19:30 he starts mentioning "Love affairs" and this random woman who left his house? It couldn't have been Chrissy because that doesn't make sense. I'm assuming it was the 70's if he was broke because in the 80's he had multiple houses. It would've not been hard to pay a little 3 dollar per minute fee just to phone in for at least 15 minutes (45 dollars for 15 minutes, it is).

Another cheating story is his secretary, Julie Glover. There's literal pictures of them together. Anita found out and called Julie's husband and it was a MESS. Julie was around since 1985 so you never know If she could've been been with Brian. I think someone said it (the affair) might've started in 1995 because there's pictures of them together then but I'm not sure. Julie quit her job shortly after the public got a hold of their affair in 1999 and then Anita and Brian got married. Messy.....

pictures of them together, late 90s. Couldn't find the '95 picture.

The whole Peaches saga that I briefly explained in the 2nd paragraph. But I will explain further. In 1974, Queen had a celebration for Queen II in April. The month is important because I read somewhere Chrissy and Brian got engaged in late March of 1974 so that's just great. There was this young stripper named Peaches at 'The Dungeon' in New Orleans (this obviously inspired Now I'm Here). They had sex (most likely. she was a stripper.) and Brian fell in love with her. He kept trying to find her and was hoping to see her for the tour but then he fell ill and didn't see her for a year or two. Then in 1977 they had another encounter and he wrote, "It's late" about her. Writing two songs about a woman who didn't really care for you is insane.

He also preaches about don't hurt animals but he killed 12 deer on his property in the '10's.

He always tries to stay relevant like every other aging rockstar tends to do. He is always on Instagram trying to find a new project like okay Brian we get it gosh. Maybe you were great then you don't have to be great now. Just let the fans come to you. It's like when he keeps trying to feature on songs and stuff.

He always tries to play victim. Like when he was cheating a lot. "God why is my love life so bad" I don't know maybe don't cheat and be a good husband??? Just a thought though.

i heard a story on Instagram not too long ago about someone saying that they were at a concert and Brian was manipulating them into coming to his hotel room. Saying lines like, "I'm so lonely". The YOUNG woman politely declined and he got mad.

I think this is all I have to say. Most of this is cheating stories so what does that say about Brian.

Brian May isn't innocent. Some of y'all need to wake up.

#justiceforchrissy #brian may #queen band #sir brian may #brian harold may #classic rock #70s bands #dr brian may

26 notes · View notes

litnerdwrites · 10 months ago

Text

About the dancing chapter...

I agree 100% with this comment by the amazing @deathbealady (no seriously, I didn't even realise how similar this situation was to Mor's) and I wanted to use it as a jumping off point to talk about Eris Vansera. To be clear though, I like fanon Eris and am currently undecided about canon Eris, for reasons I'll explain later.

For now, we can start with the IC asking Nesta to try and seduce Eris. I refuse to believe they weren't given this idea by Elain, either because she volunteered Nesta outright, or because she put the idea of using Nesta's artistic passions that, at this point, they know were effectively weaponised by her mother, to seduce an older male with the idea of marriage.

Either way, the fact that the IC knew what Nesta's mother had done, and decided to take advantage of it without ever asking what she thought of it, or what she might like, despite it being the same thing done to Mor when she was Nesta's age, if not younger. It's made especially worse given that Nesta likely feels unable say 'no' to the IC, because if she does, she'd likely be threatened with Elain being made to do it.

If that isn't bad enough, and I wouldn't be sure if it could get worse if I wasn't about to tell you why, then we can take a look at the age gap between Eris and Nesta. I've heard people argue that it's fine, since they're both consenting adults, but I think that the term 'adults' needs to be redefined. Humans are considered adults at the age of 18 or so, but only have a fully developed frontal love at 25. Meanwhile, fae are considered adults by the age of about 50 to 80 (with the latter being the age that a High Lord can be named such, but some people say it's 50). This has some pretty serious implications.

Starting with the fact that if females in Illyria and the CON are married off/wings clipped when they have their first period, which seems to be from around the same time human women have theirs, to 18 if they try to prevent it through medication, then they aren't adults themselves. They aren't even half way there in the (I don't want to say mild, best case, better or anything like that case because it's all messed up) cases where the woman is 18 or so. It also implies that a fae female's frontal lobe isn't developed until she's over fifty, since we don't have evidence to suggest the contrary.

Just because Nesta was almost 25 when she became fae doesn't make it alright either. Given that her aging must have slowed astronomically when she was turned, it's fair to assume it would have a huge impact on maturity and brain development. Which means the Archeron sister's in general might have serious gaps in the way their brains develop, especially Feyre, since she was resurrected and her body changed. It might even be slightly different for Nesta and Elain since they were killed, pulled apart and put back together in the cauldron.

Since it was the cauldron, there's a chance that their brains were also changed to be like fae, but either way, both possibilities and scenarios come back to the same answer: The Archeron Sisters are still mentally children, and will likely remain so for several decades longer, perhaps even longer than regular fae due to the unprecedented and irregular nature of their existence.

This brings me back to the subject of Nesta and Eris. He is a grown adult many centuries older than Nesta, with frontal lobe development and centuries of experience. Nesta is barely even half way to being an adult, while he is over 500. Moreover, the IC believe that Eris is a monster.

Now, I'm well aware that there's likely more to the issues between Eris and Mor than what we've seen. Between Eris's own words regarding 'circumstances' that he wouldn't explain, to the narrative going out of his way to show us good parts of him. Such as the way he moved to protect his mother at the HL meeting, and how he let his own father torture him but still protected the IC's secrets and took the unnecessary verbal abuse from Cassian. There's even the fact that Eris simply lets others believe him to be the villain, and let's Mor control the narrative for her own comfort, as opposed to spilling whatever happened, even if it would, somehow, absolve him.

Now, to be perfectly clear, there is little Eris could say that would absolve him, truly, of what happened. I acknowledge that he's a victim of his father, however that doesn't mean he can't also be Morrigan's abuser. And yes, even if he didn't touch her, neglect is abuse. Leaving her there for dead, regardless of the reasons, is a messed up thing to do. The categories of victim and abuser are not mutually exclusive.

The narrative wants us, as readers, to question Eri's actions and begin to wonder what happened between him and Lucien and Mor. It wants us to open up to the idea that Eris may not be as bad as he's made out to be, and that there's something more sinister happening, since it puts some level of suspicion on Lucien, Mor and Beron. However, just because that's the story we're being fed as readers, doesn't mean that the characters have the same perspective, or are living the same story, necessarily.

If you think about it, they have no reason to believe that Eris isn't a psycho who abuses woman and would slaughter his brothers to get to the crown. His comment about circumstances does read like an abuser trying to justify his actions with little effort, while giving no real reason, not that one would make up for what the IC believes he did. It's not a good enough reason to absolve him or make him seem like a good person.

He still hunted Feyre down, even though he had no reason to once she and Lucien made it to the Winter Court, and it, logically, would've caused more trouble for Beron if they were caught. Especially since a whole fire fight took place, and it would be easy for Kallias to connect that with autumn citizens, since he didn't know about Feyre's magic. If anything, hunting them at that point would've caused more problems and they'd be better off just telling Beron that Feyre and Lucien were there. A high lady, if Beron acknowledges the title or not, trespassing in foreign lands with a banished son would be enough to raise a fuss about.

He, also, has people who've known him for centuries, from Mor to Lucien (though the latter probably has more accurate info given his connections in various courts, and the fact it's unlikely Mor shared many words with him over 5 centuries) and the fact he's essentially blackmailing the Nc. This is more so an issue of his having certain pieces of information being a cause for the IC to fear what he may do with it, or what might be found out by their enemies if they use torture or a daemati.

I'm not saying, by any means, that I hate him. I think he's actually written better than Rhysand at this point, since unlike Rhysie playing hero, Eris knows he's a terrible person and low key owns it. Whether or not that's subject to change is dependant of SJM's writing in the future. There's a chance she may actually turn him into Rhys 2.0 by pretended he was a good guy all along.

However, regardless of his reasons, he has done so many atrocious things that the IC have no reason to think he's a descent person. Mor clearly hasn't said anything about what happened and, as much as I don't like her, she has no on page motive to antagonise Eris otherwise. That might change later, especially if she's the traitor, but as of now, her behaviour seems understandable, somewhat, based on the version of events that she gives.

Yet, despite all of this, the IC still think that essentially whoring Nesta out to Eris because it suits their goals. Regardless of the risks to Nesta's safety, regardless of how Nesta feels about the matter and and simply going off of Feyre's guesses about how Nesta feels without ever feeling the need to confirm if any of them are accurate to Nesta.

Let me summarise: Rhysand and Feyre, Nesta's own sister, thought it was a good idea to use Nesta's artistic passions to seduce a man that is literally 20 times Nesta's age, letting said man ask for Nesta's hand, and letting Nesta consider accepting despite the IC believing he is a woman torturing psycho that would throw her to the wolves at the first chance if it helped him in the end.

Let's not forget that while Eris may be bit of a grey area for us at the moment, the IC knows that Eris also lives with abusers, like Beron, who'd have no issue using physical violence against Nesta. So even if they thought Eris wasn't a monster for some reason, they'd still be putting Nesta in danger. Especially if Beron is working with the Death God, who wants the trove and is using Bryallin to find it.

Oh, and this was all after Cassian came to the conclusion that Nesta was suicidal, and was sexually assaulted in a vision, if I remember right, while on a life threatening mission in a place the rest of the IC, even Amren, is scared of.

Regardless of what Rhysand says, he allows abusers near enough to his family, or the ones he doesn't care as much about, I suppose, and is seemingly willing to let them marry said abusers if it gets him his goal. Rhysand who was abused. Rhysand who's mother was forced into child marriage.

Rhysand who seems to ignore the fact that the Archeron sisters are children. Children can't consent, if it wasn't clear enough to him already. Also, consent must be informed, and last I checked, Nesta wasn't informed about Eris beyond him being a snake. She isn't given a heads up about how abusive he's believed to be, how he may have to kill/watch you die if his dad decides so, or how he's likely to leave you bleeding out in the woods if you're injured. This is literally what the IC believe he is like and they didn't tell her.

Consent needs to be voluntary. I think it's been well established that Nesta likely doesn't feel like she can make real decisions because of consequences she may face.

He's also completely willing to send a suicidal (you can't argue that he doesn't know since Cassian reports everything to Rhysand, and kind of Feyre, apparently, from her Valkyries to her progress in 'healing'/being brainwashed so there's no reason he wouldn't report that too) into life threatening situations, put them in a place where they could jump to their deaths at any moment, with magic that could provide literally anything but alcohol, and filled with weapons.

To conclude, Eris is a grey area in ACOTAR that, at this point, reads as what Rhysand kind of should've been if SJM didn't make him a good guy for no reason. Meanwhile, this 'good guy' is endangering his sister in law through abuse, emotional blackmail and brainwashing, while putting her in proximity with a known abuser. Might I remind you that she's a minor? With possible developmental gaps. And he's doing it all because her being in danger makes his life easier, and the cousin that the dude abused is going along with this without any issue.

92 notes · View notes

edsbacktattoo · 2 years ago

Text

I have Gathered some Data

@skysofrey and I recently got into a discussion about names in OFMD. Specifically, how many times does Ed actually call Stede by his name in the show? We could only think of a few examples each and that didn't seem right. And because I'm insane, I decided to rewatch and note down every time a name was used, who used it, and who was being spoken to. Here are my findings!

Before you proceed, please know that this is strictly for fun and because I was curious. There are likely errors in the data (I'm sure I missed some things, I'm just one person.) but! I still think that what's been gathered is very interesting.

Here are some other fun/important/miserable things that I found in my travels:

There is one more time where Stede calls Ed “Edward,” and the only time it isn’t said to him directly. This is when Stede is addressing the petrified orange.

Of the five times that Stede is called “The Gentleman Pirate,” two of them are from Ed.

Ed calls Stede by his name only twelve times in the series. Only two of these instances are spoken to someone else. There are two others when Ed is looking for him at the pier, and therefore spoken to no one.

There are only ten instances of other characters calling Ed something other than his name or “Blackbeard.” Two of these are from Izzy, during the scene in Spanish Jackie’s bar, where he’s informing Stede that Ed would like to meet with him. During this scene, he only uses “my captain” and “my boss.” This is one of the very few times he doesn’t refer to Ed to other people as “Blackbeard” and it’s at the time that is arguably the most important. (He’s an idiot.)

Out of the twenty times that Ed refers to himself, fourteen of those are as “Blackbeard/The Kraken.” He refers to himself with names other than “Ed/Edward” 70% of the time. 50% of the times he refers to himself by his name are during the beach scene in episode nine, and there is only one instance where he uses his name that is not in Stede’s company. ("Actually, I do want to be called 'Ed' from now on.")

Izzy only refers to Ed as "Edward" to other people four times in the show. Two of those times are when he's marooning Stede's crew, and each time he uses his name in that scene, he takes on a mocking tone. Meaning that 50% of every instance he's referred to Ed as "Edward" to other people, he's been mocking his name.

Ed calls Stede "mate" as often as he calls him by his name, but he only calls him "mate" directly.

Stede calls Ed by his name only once more than Izzy does.

80% of the times Ed refers to himself by name happen in episode nine.

#before anyone says anything yes i know i am utterly insane #i am bonkers #but this was a lot of fun!#if anyone would like to see the tally i kept while watching let me know #just so you can see that i didn't pull these numbers out of my ass #also pls be nicey to me about this i am not a science and data guy #i am an english and art major so this is absolutely not my forte #again just for curiosity's sake #i've always been fascinated by the use of names and titles in this show so this is like catnip to me #fascinating and interesting and im rolling around in it #enjoy i guess!!!#ofmd #our flag means death #is this meta?#idk what constitutes as a meta #i'll tag it anyway #ofmd meta #oh we thinkin?#huge thank you to kaitlin for indulging in my nonsense about this program <3

409 notes · View notes

slashthrashandcrash · 4 months ago

Note

Mandy is so right, tho. How could Ghostie fumble an absolute babe like Belle???? He had a chance to settle down with a hottest milf in New York and he BLEW IT.

I mean even if he wasn't a lil psycho freak, their relationship wouldn't have lasted any longer than it did, honestly. They were FWB that barely knew each other past the surface, at best they could be considered a mutual on again/off again couple, but part of what made their "relationship" work was because neither of them wanted to put a label on it and make it any deeper than some casual fun.

They only tried to make it work when Belle got pregnant because...well, it was the 80s, and that's just what you're supposed to do, right? Move in, pop a ring on a finger, have a kid or two -- they did it a little out of order buy hey. But even a few months into her pregnancy and living together it was pretty obvious neither of them were vibing with the idea of being committed partners. They just never liked each other that way. They're the kind of people that you hang out with for a night on the town and hook up in the backseat of a car, not see every morning and do laundry and taxes together.

Belle would have been totally fine having an amicable split with 50/50 custody, or even just physically staying together as coparents with the agreement they can both see other people. Her gripe with Danny comes from the fact he decided it was him alone who didn't want to play happy family anymore and then fucked off to be young and dumb and find himself (well, that's what she assumed he spent his 20's doing when he sporadically leaves). He got to go finish living his life while she had to mature and be a single mother all on her own, not to mention how much of a useless father he is.

She doesn't detest him because he "broke her heart" or anything, she just thinks he's a deadbeat douchebag who's going to (emotionally) hurt their baby girl one of these days.

#ask #anon #oc belle #what he really blew was having a clean break up and not having a baby mama ready to chew him out every week #but honestly idk if his ego could have handled being dumped...he *had* to be the dumper or he would have combusted

24 notes · View notes

samwisethewitch · 10 months ago

Text

Something I've been thinking about lately: In conversations about being intentionally child-free, I see a lot of people talk about how much they resent constantly being told that they'll change their minds someday. And yeah, that sucks. When you tell someone that they'll regret their choices or go back on them someday, you're telling them you don't trust them to make their own decisions. And that's a dick move.

But what I see left out of a lot of these conversations is the fact that some people do change their minds about kids, and that is also okay.

People change. Our priorities and our values change. Someone identifying as child-free at 20 and then realizing at 30 that they actually do want to be a parent doesn't invalidate other people's decision not to have kids. It doesn't even invalidate that person's previous decision. They're growing. They're changing, and that's okay. Healthy even.

When I was 18, I felt very strongly that I would never marry and never have children. For me, this was a reaction to growing up in a religious environment where women were second-class citizens, and what little autonomy/independence single women had immediately went away when they got married. And once you had kids? Well, once you had kids, your personal life was officially over and your identity now started and ended with being so-and-so's mother.

If your only model of marriage and parenthood is a nuclear family where the husband is in charge and makes all of the decisions while his wife does all of the housework and childcare and not much else, OF COURSE you wouldn't want to get married or have kids! My thought process at 18 was basically, "Well, I want to have my own money and make my own choices and have an identity outside of being a mom, so clearly the family life isn't for me."

I'm 25 now. I'm married. My husband and I both kept our own last names, and we maintain separate bank accounts. I have a job that I'm good at, and a lot of people know me from my work. I still have my own money, make my own choices, and have my own identity. None of that went away when I got married. All that's changed is that I have a partner and best friend that I decided to do life with, and we had a ceremony and signed a piece of paper to make it official. We're not quite at the having kids stage yet, but it is something we both want someday.

Me wanting marriage and kids now doesn't invalidate my decision at 18. When I was 18, focusing on my education and career was absolutely the right choice for me. I needed to be able to focus on myself without considering how it would affect a spouse or kids. Eventually, I realized marriage and parenthood can look a lot of different ways. I realized I can decide what they look like for me. I don't have to follow the model I grew up with. And I realized I do want raising kids to be part of my life, just in a way that looks different from what others might expect.

This is a process a lot of people go through, especially women and femmes. If you're in the middle of it right now, just know that you're allowed to change.

And of course, a lot of people don't change their minds. A lot of people who identify as child-free at 20 still don't want kids at 30, 40, or 50. I've met people in their 80s and 90s who never had kids and don't regret that decision. My point here is that some people changing their minds about something doesn't mean it's not a good option for other people.

(And, let's be real, unfortunately a lot of people go the other way: they think they want kids until they have them. That's way more complicated because now there's a whole human person involved who is dependent on them for care and this definitely deserves its own post, but the best advice I can give is if you're young, you need to give yourself time to figure out what you want before committing to anything.)

#rambles #child free #childless by choice #married life #feminism #feminist #trans inclusive radical feminism #trans inclusive feminism #terfs fuck off #terfs dni #religious trauma #ex christian #exmormon #exmo #exmo stuff #ex catholic #mine #parenting

56 notes · View notes

docholligay · 4 months ago

Note

Even if you haven't played it, I imagine you've absorbed some stuff about Baldur's Gate 3. What do you think about the companions, that you know of?

Oh boy am I about to disappoint you: I am the most out of the loop old lady lesbian you have ever met. A conversation between me and my wife like, oh, a month ago? six weeks?

(Context: My wife loves Pop Girlie Music)

Me: I heard this singer I think you'll really like! She's gay, but it's all very 80s flavored pop, and--

Her: Do you mean Chappell Roan?

Me: Yeah!

Her: Major pop star Chappell Roan? Have i heard of her?

Me: Well...I just heard her like yesterday, on tumblr, so.

I COULD NOT TELL YOU THE FIRST FUCKING THING ABOUT BALDUR'S GATE OTHER THAN IT IS A VIDEOD GAME. WHAT CONSOLE IS IT ON? WHAT GENRE IS IT? FUCK IF I KNOW, BABYGIRL.

Gun to my head, all I could tell you about Baldur's Gate 3 is, "Uh...presumably there is a third gate in Baldur? yeah? no?"

Let me try.

Companions, so those are characters. What characters have a seen lately on my dash, without looking?

Okay, so:

I think the gay elf girl is actually from an anime, so not her. Actually, I know she's from an anime, now that I think about it. The anime that already has the discourse that made me decide I won't watch it for a few years--fuck I should know the name of this if I'm gonna ban it from contention--Jetty will know--anyway, that gal is not from the video game.

Is the gay white haired vampire from Baldur's Gate? I get the sense that he is cunty and that's why I see so many little screenshots or whatever of him. I know people like that in a man. I guess I'm assuming he's gay, but given that I don't live on the Superwholock-esque side of tumblr, it's not all that common for me to see a man that isn't gay or Colombo.

The only other people I can think of from video games right now are those little lawyer motherfuckers y'all are in love with, Zelda, and that guy from Silent Hill.

I wanted this to be funny, but I don't even have the baseline knowledge to be wrong ahahahah. This is me walking down the street and going, "I will give you 50 dollars if you can name any country that fought in the Crimean War" (Someone: France and/or the UK me: That one's on me, I set the bar too low)

26 notes · View notes

preservationofnormalcy · 2 years ago

Text

[I am in a nature preserve in rural Louisiana. A small ranger station-like structure in the middle of the wetlands welcomes me through chain link fences as my driver signals his approach, and as I exit my vehicle, a man steps out of the station.

He is heavy-set, tall, a little overweight but in that working-man sort of way where his strength is evident. He’s wearing a white labcoat over a colorful shirt and jeans, with messy hair and old school mutton chops. I can’t decide if he’s going for a vintage look or just doesn’t want to deal with his facial hair. Huge hands clap together once as I walk up to the building, and he smiles.]

Meghan] Mr McCollough?

Jethro] Please, please ma’am, call me Jethro. Please, come in.

[The first room seems typical of what I would expect a station in the middle of the swamplands to look - a cot, couches, radios and locked long glass-paneled cabinets with guns. A large metal door on one end leads me into the next room, and this one is different. Computers, rows and rows of filing cabinets, and haphazard piles of paperwork on a laboratory benchtop that yield to clean, colored tape-zoned areas holding glassware, boxes of “Vacutainer” tubes, plastic racks. A well-used benchtop centrifuge in the sun-bleached cream and baby blue colors of equipment from the 80s holds tubes of separated liquid – clear on top, a strip of white, and deep red at the bottom. Another metal door on the opposite side leads further into the building. He gestures to a somewhat empty table with a chair on either side.

Jethro’s accent is slight but noticeable, quiet but gregarious. He doesn’t sit yet, but fumbles with a kettle and a hot plate.]

J] Don’t get many visitors out here. Pardon the mess. Tea?

M] Oh. Please, actually.

J] Yes, ma’am. The people above my head tell me you’re here to ask questions.

M] That’s right. I saw the, uh… immunization posters in the Virginia site I toured.

J] Oh, sure. That’s been routine for decades, now. Since they were developed in the 50s. Lots of progress, of course, but always lots to do. Half the issue’s the paperwork, you know. But, uh, yeah.

M] Does everyone get immunized?

J] If I had my way, yes. That’d be the right way to do it. But no, it’s only really required for so-called high risk zones, that’s what they decided.

[He gives me a wry smile over his shoulder.]

J] This here’s a high risk zone, ma’am. But…you won’t be here long enough for it to matter.

M] …here’s hoping. Umm. I had a list of questions.

J] Top of the list is probably “Jesus H, they’re real?”

[He laughs briefly at his own joke.]

M] …my work is more about the efficacy and efficiency of the Office’s divisions, departments, and programs. But yeah, kind of.

[He pours the hot water into two teacups, and hands me one, sitting on the opposite side of the table. His cup looks comically small in his large hands.]

J] Get the feeling you’ll be asking that a lot in the next months.

M] I do too. Let me see… what is the objective of the… Abnormal Virology Department?

J] So our mission statement is about the research, control, and prevention of diseases – viral diseases specifically, but other stuff comes up, but y’know, that’s another story – uh, diseases that fall outside the Office’s definition of “normal,” and our big goals hopefully are curative or preventative treatments for those diseases. It’s a tall order.

M] And… lycanthropy is a virus, like the flu?

J] I mean, as much as any virus is like another. Each one’s unique, even the flu subtypes, but yeah. If I may use some jargon,

[He pauses with a hint of eagerness for affirmation before continuing.]

J] It's a lysogenic virus, so if you get infected, it integrates into the host genome, more like, uh, I guess herpesvirus is one most people would know. Once you get it, you got it for life because it hides in your DNA. Like herpesviruses too, you have lytic phases too, where it becomes active again, it emerges out of the genome based on cues from environmental pressures or host conditions. Like the phase of the moon, you know, which is kind of unique. When it’s not actively causing disease, when it’s just sitting in your genome at these sequence specific integration sites across the chromosomes, it also screws with normal gene regulation. The sites it sits down, you get dysregulation of normal transcription, you start growing more body hair, eyes change color. Where the virus integrates is a little different across host genetic backgrounds, think like ancestries; do you know SNPs?

[He clears his throat.]

Anyway, that lysogenic, passive phase is why we need the boosters, it’s laying low, immune cells don’t see anything to protect against, and it preferentially hides out in memory B cells, some lymphocytes, and that also kind of messes up a normal immune response. Which is why you have the immunoglobulin in the shot too, but that’s getting into the weeds. Because if you don’t have a way for the immune system to stop it quickly when it decides to jump out of the genome again, then, of course, you have the active phase, which… you can guess about that.

M] How successful would you say the treatments are?

J] It’s pretty good, especially given this stuff is almost the same as we were using mid-century. If you have a healthy immune system, if you’re vaccinated at least a few weeks before exposure, so you have your standard immune repertoire ready to go, and then they’re exposed – assuming the inoculum isn’t, you know, that can be pretty high sometimes – then they probably won’t “catch it,” so to speak, it’s neutralized and doesn’t integrate into the genome, so you don’t have a permanent case of it. We can also suppress symptoms with treatments for those with especially bad cases. Treatment’s kinda heavy, with the administration and the side effects; not like you’re just popping a pill under your tongue; but once it’s taken hold, there’s no, uh, no real cure.

[Jethro is quiet for a moment, taking a glance out the window as he drinks.]

J] … listen, ma’am. I’m biased. I got a personal stake in all this. I’m kind of a lab guy, sure, but sometimes I go out there and actually… you know. I’m the boots on the ground here too. And I don’t carry the big guns like the guys in Security do, no, I’m here giving out shots to kids and families. There’s communities in this country, whole towns out in the swamps or up in the hollers that are majority-infected. They live with it, they make do. And they have a chance at that, at life, because of us. Hard to quantify, of course. If you’re looking for hard numbers, I can try and find ‘em–

[He gestures to the filing cabinets.]

J] If you got a week or two.

M] We can… coordinate records later. But we’ve successfully eradicated things like… you know, smallpox. Can we eradicate things like lycanthropy?

[He gives me a strange, wary look and picks up a plastic knife from the table, oddly stirring his drink. I take a sip of mine.]

J] I’d be careful, talking like that. Lotta people don’t just think they’re sick, they- we’re talking about people. People with a condition, sure, but the minute you start talking about eradicating is when we start having camps again.

M] … again?

J] There’s rural areas in this country that the Office hasn’t been in for decades. We aren’t welcome.

M] Can I ask what happened?

[Jethro takes a deep breath.]

J] In ‘55, the United States rolled out its polio vaccine program. Of course, the Office used the infrastructure, hustle and bustle of the whole thing as a cover for our own lycanthropic treatment programs. We, and when I say “we,” I mean the Office in general of course. I wasn’t even a pup then. But a couple Office research groups, the Wagner lab, they’d done deep research into the condition, validated a few hypotheses, and they were ready to pilot the production of a vaccine. They just needed plasma. From infected hosts.

M] … I think I see.

J] Yeah. Yeah, back then infected folks were basically ignored unless they were in legal trouble. Legal personhood hadn't been extended to lycanthropes yet.

M] Legal personhood?

J] Ask Ferd about that when you get back to Virginia. Unfortunately, that plasma was taken from… people who didn’t volunteer. Inmates at first, murderers. But scaling up collection, then it came from people who stole some cows, and then people who were even just accused of things. When the Wagner people showed the shot was actually working, the Office needed a lot more to even think about rolling it out everywhere it was needed, and people weren’t really volunteering, so…

[He sighs.]

J] We shouldn’t have been surprised when a lot of communities then rejected us after that. Word travels fast, and the symbol–

[He taps the OPN crest on his badge.]

J] –became the mark of the Beast. Figuratively. It’s been decades getting to the point where we can help people, and pardon my bragging, ma’am, but it’s people like me who are the reason why we can. Part scientist, part… social worker, I guess.

[The phone rings, and Jethro slides over on his rolling chair to answer it. He seems immediately worried, and after a moment of conversation he hangs up and rubs his face.]

J] Real sorry ma’am, gonna have to cut this short. I know you had a long trip. Maybe I can meet you somewhere that ain’t so out of the way.

M] Oh. That’s okay, Jethro. Um. How’s next Saturday?

[He rolls over to a calendar on the wall. July 2021.]

J] No… no, I’ll be needing a day or two off ‘round then. For the… weather.

M] …I think I see. I’ll call you, we can finish over the phone.

J] Probably for the best, ma’am. If you’ll excuse me, I got an emergency downstate. Small outbreak just confirmed, got some of that social work to do.

M] Should I be worried?

[He grins, throwing his labcoat onto a chair and pulling a dirty jumpsuit out of a pile.]

J] Hell no, ma’am. We’re professionals. Ain’t gonna be any rowdy gators causing any trouble.

M] …gat–

J] I trust you’ll see yourself out, ma’am.

(Buy the poster here!)

#HUGE thanks to my good friend for editing the virology stuff #and giving his perspective #office for the preservation of normalcy #werewolves #lycanthropy #lycanthrope #interview

204 notes · View notes

tea-twords · 5 months ago

Note

your hcs for them. hand them over

Ugh cant BELIEVE you ask for the one thing I say not to ask🙄🙄🙄 Guess I’m forced to share them🙄🙄🙄 Against my will🙄🙄🙄

Mualani

She’s like 51% Ler 49% Lee

It’s almost 50/50 but she’s verrrry tiny bit more ler

She’s probably like…an 8.5/10 on the ticklish scale

Worst spots are her tummy (obviously), her underarms, hips, and ngl I feel like her shoulders

Whenever she’s tkld, she almost never holds back her laugh

So it always comes out a loud bright cheery laugh (and it’s so pretty)

She FLAILS

As a ler she’s only sometimes mean, it depends on her lee

She’s never a mean ler with Kachina, she’s sometimes a mean ler with Kinich

Definitely loves using “the claw”

HUGE fan of giving cheer up tks

Usually to Kachina cause she gets down on herself a lot

Now I would say Mualani also enjoys getting cheer up tks, but hear me out

Instead of receiving them, I feel like if she’s down and Kinich or Kachina are in her presence, she will drag them down and wreck their shit till she felt better

She often receives wake up tks from Kinich whenever they’re traveling together

I say this bc that scene in the archon quest where Mualani was like if only we had someone who gets up early to wake us up tomorrow and Kinich was like fine

She LOOOVES doing surprise tases to her friends (usually Kinich)

She’s also quite often the victim of revenge tks

Deserved

Kachina

80% Lee 20% Ler

About an 8/10 on how ticklish she is

I honestly feel like she’s just averagely the same level of ticklish everywhere

Esp her sides a little more tho

Always on the receiving end of cheer up tks from Mualani or Kinich

She will never take initiative to be a ler like ever

The only time she ever lers is when it’s her and Mualani ganging up on Kinich or her and Kinich ganging up on Mualani

It will pretty much never be one on one

Maybe there’s a scenario where it’s possible but right now in my head she would not do it alone

Very very gentle ler

Small hands = small quick tks

Kachina doesn’t know she could literally murder Kinich with the gentle tks if she wanted to

She doesn’t want to tho because she’s way too nice of a ler

As a lee she definitely squirms a lot

Usually it’s Mualani who gets her and it usually doesn’t last very long

Kinich and Mualani never gang up on her in a 2 on 1 bc that’s unfair

They are caring older bro and sis

Her laugh is pretty much just giggles

She doesn’t cackle or snort and is never usually loud

She’s adorable tho and I love her

Kinich

45% Lee and 55% Ler

He’s about a 6.5-7 on the scale (I can’t decide which bc it really depends on if you surprise him or not)

Despite his being more of a ler, he’s never usually the first one to initiate the tks

He almost always tickles as an act of revenge (cough mualani)

Kinich for a while thought he wasn’t all that ticklish because last time someone asked the dreaded question and tickled his sides, he didn’t feel a need to react

He’s just really good at not being ticklish when he knows it’s coming (me fr)

However

Mualani asked this question and got the same lack of response to sides

But unlike previous curious people, Mualani doesn’t give up

It didn’t take long for her to find pretty much all of Kinich’s spots after that wrecking

His spots are usually normal but sometimes a little oddly placed

He’s ticklish on his underarms, back, ribs (but only the bottom two), knees, his neck but only in front, and collarbone

He’s really not that ticklish on his sides and therefore assumed he wasn’t at all because before Mualani that was the only place people ever

As a ler depending on who you are and what you did to warrant his wrath he can either be super nice or straight merciless

Which translates to super nice with kachina and merciless with Mualani

Because 90% of the time she does something

Whether it be a surprise taser on those two ribs that are too sensitive for his own good (he screams) or something as simple as a prank

He will give her the wrecking she deserves

And sure he’s merciless with her but not exactly mean

He will remind her that she brought it upon herself

As a lee tho…

I can’t tell if I like Lee or Ler Kinich more

Because Ler Kinich is perfection but Lee Kinich is adorable

He’s honestly so good at holding in his laugh but surprise attacks are his weakness (Mualani’s specialty)

Even if it’s not a surprise attack, anything on his back will get him to crack in seconds

Even when he’s laughing though he’s really good at controlling it

Good at controlling his movements too

He won’t flail like mualani and instead just kinda curl up

Protect whatever he can

Even with all his composure though it’s still possible to get him cackling

That only ever happens when it’s both Mualani and Kachina ganging up on him

The conflict between Mualani’s firmness and Kachina’s gentle scritches just makes him lose it

Sometimes Ajaw (the bastard) tells Kachina to be rougher with Kinich bc he thinks that it’s the rough tks that drive Kinich crazy

But it’s actually the soft tks that he can’t stand

I’m sorry but I just have a feeling he’s weak to gentles

Of course after times like this he will literally wreck both of them at the same time. Bc he’s still a ler at heart and he can do that

Last one and I’m pretty sure we all know this but

Ajaw will definitely sell Kinich’s worst spots to his ler with no hesitation and no remorse

He wants to see him suffer

#genshin impact #headcanons #kinich #kachina #mualani #ajaw #natlan trio #Kinich’s are so long LMAO #he’s a bit more complicated #I will accept any other ideas anyone may have tyvm #I literally love them so much

35 notes · View notes

emeritus-fuckers · 2 years ago

Text

Headcanons of what years the Papas (and Sister Imperator) were born + explanation using math and Kiss the Go-Goat (please kill me)

Because I am losing my fucking mind. If any of you ever questioned my mental stability, this is the proof that I have none. - Jez

Papa Nihil - 1917

Going with the general headcanon of him dying at 103 years back in 2020, Nihil would have to be born in 1917. This would make him 52 during the Kiss the Go-Goat incident in 1969.

He would have Secondo and Terzo at 42/43, depending on the month of his birthday.

Sister Imperator - 1935

I've always assumed Nihil and her have a big age gap, considering how different their states are when they're old. She also looks really young in Kiss the Go-Goat, so I decided to go with the age her absolutely beautiful actress was back then, which is 34. This makes her 88 now.

Primo - 1932

He was said to be 80 when he left the stage in 2012, which means he would be 37 during the Kiss the Go-Goat. This also implies Nihil was 15 when Primo was born. It would mean Primo was 86 when he died.

He would also be around 27/28 when his younger brothers were born.

His age while performing would be 76 years old in the beginning and 80 in the end.

Secondo - 1959

Him and Terzo are mostly justified by the Ghostpedia than anything else. They were said to be in their late 50s/early 60s when they died in 2018. Secondo has his date of birth listed as "circa 1950s", while Terzo has his listed as "circa 1960s" despite being only three months apart. So I'm assuming he was born in like novemeber/december of 1959.

This would make him 9 during the Kiss the Go-Goat incident, seeing as it happened in September. It would also make him 58 when he died, since they died in April (aka before his birthday).

His age performing would be 53 in the beginning and 56 in the end.

Terzo - 1960

I pretty much explained everything in the note under Secondo - Ghostpedia, year of death, the three months difference between them... This makes me assume he must've been born in january/february of 1960.

Just like Secondo, this makes him 9 during Kiss the Go-Goat and 58 when he died.

His age performing would be 55 in the beginning and 57 in the end.

Copia - 1970

In Kiss the Go-Goat, we can see that it's hinted that Sister is in early stages of pregnancy in September of 1969. That would imply he was born somewhere next year, probably around June. This makes him 53 this year and 50 when he was anointed Papa.

When he started performing, he would be 48.

#ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #papa nihil #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iv #sister imperator #primo #secondo #terzo #copia #cardinal copia

240 notes · View notes

ckret2 · 2 years ago

Note

bill doesnt really strike me as the type to be really into listening to music, but if he were, do you think there are any particular genres/artists he would enjoy/hate less?

You're in luck because I've put COPIOUS thought into this.

Here's all the canon and semi-canon info about Bill's musical tastes I can recall off the top of my head:

ONE. From the AMA, his favorite "song" is a rising Shepard tone.

*MY FAVORITE SONG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rzIiF7LpPU

youtube

TWO. He is interested in the "good stuff" out of human pop culture, which includes the song "96 Tears" by Question Mark & The Mysterians.

Are you at all interested in human pop culture?

JUST THE GOOD STUFF! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7uC5m-IRns

youtube

THREE. He knows the song "Stacy's Mom". This says nothing about whether he likes the song, but he's knowledgeable enough about recent human pop culture that he can casually drop a reference to it in a joke. It's probably safe to assume he's familiar with a broad variety of popular human music.

Hey Bill. What's up with Wendy's mom?

WENDY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON. SHE'S ALL I WANT AND I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG.

FOUR. When he gives himself a super cool car its radio is playing a rap song. I wasn't able to find any identification for the song, but it sounds to me like it could potentially be by Lil Bigg Dawggg, the same in-universe artist behind "Straight Blanchin'"—so, extremely popular mainstream rap. (Song heard at 2:50).

youtube

FIVE. He's got some kind of generic-sounding electronic dance music playing during his Fearamid party.

youtube

SIX. The "We'll Meet Again" scene. He can play the piano. I suppose you could choose to believe that Mr. All-Seeing All-Knowing Eye can play any instrument and he just happens to pick the piano for effect—he might not even actually be playing, since the song keeps playing itself when he turns away—but I choose to believe he's playing it and at some point he actually made the choice to learn piano for fun just because he wanted to. As someone who took piano lessons for over a decade, assuming that is indeed his own playing, I'd rate him as competent and skilled (that's a pretty impressive run at the start), but no virtuoso. He'd be a hit at the family holiday party but not in a concert hall. The choice of "We'll Meet Again" might mean he's got a soft spot for WW2-era popular music but might just be a "he knows human popular music and will freely reference it for a joke" thing.

youtube

SEVEN. "No! Synthesized music! It hurts!" Considering the circumstances, this may or may not actually apply to his musical tastes. Maybe only this particular synthesized music hurt him because Mabel had specifically decided that Xyler and Craz's music would injure Bill, maybe only extremely 80s-sounding synthesizers hurt him, etc. Most damning to the theory that he's got some kind of synthesized music allergy is the fact that almost all the music he's shown to voluntarily listen to and presumably enjoy (rising Shepard tones, the rap song, the party music) makes use of synthesized sounds. Still, it's worth mentioning that this is something he said at one point. (At 2:06.)

youtube

If anyone else recalls anything I missed about Bill's musical listening habits, toss it at me.

So, that's what we've got canonically. On that basis, here's what I headcanon about his tastes:

ONE: favorite music

His absolute favorite "music" is stuff that doesn't sound like music to humans at all. So sounds that are created to follow certain patterns (not quite as random as, say, pure white noise); and on top of that, sounds that, subjectively, sound extra creepy to humans or make humans anxious (think how folks claim Shepard tones can drive people "insane"). So think nuclear alarm sirens, unnerving tornado sirens, War of the World tripod horns, Saturn, foghorns, The Backwards Music Station. If you want some actual music that sounds as close to these kinds of sounds as possible, thus far I've collected Curious Noises & Distant Voices, 20210310, Happy Happy Happy—and if you want to start drifting into more "musical" sounding genres, Tira Me a Las Aranas or Ledge.

I feel like noise as a genre ought to have a lot of music that fits the sound I'm looking for, but in practice a lot of what I've crossed paths with is really harsh/loud—sounds like breaking machines and blasting microphones—rather than the more swoopy tones I'm looking for. I think of all the noise subgenres I've sampled, death industrial noise is the closest subgenre to what I want, but it's not quite there either. I've had some success looking at hauntology artists, but that's a pretty big umbrella stylistically speaking. Does anybody know a genre that sits somewhere halfway between noise & ambient?

TWO: favorite human music

So that's that for Bill's alien musical tastes. As far as his human musical tastes, he cites Question Mark & The Mysterians specifically as "the good stuff"—so I imagine that's probably his idea of the best kind of music humanity's produced. So: extremely sixties. Hammond organs out the wazoo. Bands with occult-sounding names and lead singers who claim to be Martians that lived with dinosaurs and will be alive in the year 10,000. I tend to tilt him toward bands/songs that fall under the "psychedelic" umbrella, considering that the aesthetic tends to be kinda, well... just go google "psychedelic art."

Tell me this isn't what Earth would look like by Weirdmageddon day 30 when Bill starts to get bored. I mean come on. The only difference is Bill's version would have more fire and blood.

So start with some of your traditional psychedelic songs—Incense and Peppermints, White Rabbit, Breathe (In The Air), Time Of The Season, Purple Haze, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, etc.—and branch out from there. Slap on any decent psychedelic/hippie-themed playlist and you're good: try this hippie playlist, this psychedelic pop/rock playlist, or this dark psychedelic playlist.

Once you get past the more mainstream stuff, I go toward weird things that sound like they ought to be from a lost 1960s art house film that accidentally predicted the rise of UFO cults—things that vibe with Bill's occult + conspiracy theory + faux religious figure vibes. Think Bruce Haack, such as the album Electric Lucifer, particularly Electric to Me Turn, Cherubic Hymn, or War; Joe Meek's album I Hear a New World, particularly the title track or Orbit Around the Moon; or the particularly alien-sounding The Red Weed (Part 1) off Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds.

And after all that, I poke at modern psychedelic rock songs that lean more heavily into witchy & occult imagery—such as Astral Sabbat or Come a Little Closer—but by this point we're really on the fringe of the sound I'm looking for. There isn't nearly enough Hammond organ.

THREE: favorite human party music

Now, compared to the last couple of sections, this section is gonna be something of a cop-out, because I've done less musical digging; but when it comes to what he'll slap on for a party—which I imagine makes up probably a good 75% of his casual music consumption—he's just gonna slap on any popular current music he thinks is good for a party.

Currently? That probably means a lot of hip hop and EDM. Okay. In the 80s he probably woulda put on disco. In the 21st century he'd put on Get Low, First of the Year, Shots, DotA, Intergalactic, and Dragostea Din Tei (hardstyle remix), in a row, without a second thought, and with no heed to the humans going "what the FUCK is this party mix." These are not the best examples of what he'd play; just the first, most cringe, and most discordant examples I could think of. The more easily a potential party song can be described as stylistically or lyrically "obnoxious," the more likely it is to make his playlist. Does it sound like it should be played extremely loud? Would it offend the neighbors? Does it have a bass line that sounds like it could crack concrete and break ribs? Would humans recognize it as part of a widely-known meme, but not know whether Bill (an alien) is oblivious or if Bill (a troll) added it for that reason? It's going on, he's hitting shuffle, and it's not coming off the party playlist until he gets bored of it and finds something newer and even more obnoxious to replace it with.

If anyone has any good recommendations for specific genres that would yield a reasonable pool of Party Songs That Would Get Noise Complaints Filed (And Also Don't Go Together At All), I'm willing to take them. My gut says crunk and dubstep, but my hip hop knowledge is lacking and my EDM knowledge is extremely eclectic.

(Anyway if you made it this far I'm rewarding you with a link to my Bill Cipher spotify playlist I listen to when writing fic. It's 50% songs that I think actually match the "music he'd like" categories, 50% songs that are about him but that he wouldn't necessarily like, 50% songs about his relationship issues, 10% songs that are NONE OF THE ABOVE but that need to be in there because I need them for fic-writing vibes, and one single solitary song that is not actually about Bill at all, but rather about Pacifica, but that i put on the playlist anyway because it's a REALLY GOOD Pacifica song and I don't have any other Gravity Falls themed playlists so here it is. "That adds up to 160%—" and what of it. The percentages aren't even accurate.)

#(Don't talk to me about characters' musical tastes i will Really Get Into It and you are not escaping. This post took me three days.)#bill cipher #headcanons #meta #music #gravity falls

198 notes · View notes