#to me at least but my taste may be acquired

[cheesy-breadsticks]

nobody likes real coffee these days, its always some watered down flavored shit. the truth is, if it has milk its not real coffee. cream? not real coffee. flavor syrups? not real coffee. sugar? not real coffee. ice? not coffee. liquid? NOT REAL COFFEE. all these snowflakes keep saying they like coffee and then drink some fucking brewed watery bullshit. sorry liberals, but if you arent eating your coffee as whole unground and unbrewed BEANS then you arent a real coffee enjoyer. you fucking pussies cant handle the bitter flavors combined with a classic crunch and im fucking dissapointed. What has this world come to.

[amazinglyashy]

hellow ash! Dropping here since I got hooked from the last post ehe. If it's okay...idk if its OOC but, can you do some shorts or fic on like mc just wanting a peaceful, quiet life? away from fighting or mental battle. Esp Raf and Sy, they canonly seem to be the ones with most hard-core agenda. What if MC just want peace, yet entangled with them is sureway of NOT having that life? can they make it happen? or will they just shield mc in her dream fantasy life while they battle the real world? as we know even mc herself is already target from many unwanted people...so how?? idk sorry for ramblinggg😫😫😫

(its kinda personal since if I could, I'd just live in a small town with a garden like harvest moon game, away from stress and ambitious grasp of capitalism, buttt yea that's a dream only 🥲🙃)

I'm a firm believer that MC is however me and my readers/requesters make them, so no worries about OOC here :D also don't ever worry about rambling, I always love your comments on my posts and works 😭😭❤️ I did my best, hope you enjoy!!

LaDS men when all you want is to live a quiet life -

Sylus -

He knows his way in and out of the world, and every which way to get what he wants. Still, knowing your wishes-

It's hard.

Not because it's not conducive in your relationship, no- he'd give you the world if you so much as asked him. But it is a bit... difficult, to say the least, trying to figure out how to acquire you the life you seem desperate for.

He does understand your reasoning, though.

He would do his best to first make some of his more rural safe houses even more habitable- style choices that fit your tastes, a nook for you to relax in or do work, and anything you could think of that would help with your hobbies. Those houses become your little retreat, and they always have anything you could ever want stocked to the brim.

Luke and Kieran visit you often, or will occasionally take you elsewhere for a day out in town or further in the city. Unbeknownst to you, it's usually when someone has been targeting you and Sylus is... taking care of it behind your back.

Even if he can't stop his work after being so deep after all these years- even if he can't stop the people who are constantly targeting you for simply existed- he's going to do absolutely everything within his power to ensure you get to live the life you have chosen.

Especially with him.

Zayne -

All he wants in life is to help you find your peace.

That's all.

If living a quiet life is what helps you achieve that, then he's all for it.

He may sheepishly admit to you just how worried your Hunter's Association job would make him, wondering if the next gurney wheeled into his operating room would be you after a particularly grueling battle, or after running into the wrong person who had been after you for what nestled within your heart.

So this is definitely a plus to him.

By extension, he's also perfectly fine if you want to be stay-at-home. He makes more than enough as a surgeon to support the both of you extremely comfortably, and he knows that life really... hasn't been the kindest to you.

He's used to a bit of a commute, just trying to fight out of his driveway in the city center, so if you want to live somewhere further out in order to have space to garden, he'll figure out how to make it a reality for you.

Sometimes, he'll come home with something new for you- a type of seed for the coming season, a new book, some fresh supply for a craft you've been working on- anything, and he takes a lot of pleasure in seeing the smile break across your face whenever he does.

Rafayel -

Oh that's easy. Four words-

Beach house + Sea God.

Easy.

Hearing your wish surprises him a little, but it's nothing if not relieving to him.

He's spent forever, and then again, just trying to find you and also ensure your safety- from both up close, and from afar. It's difficult with how much trouble you get yourself into, and with the trouble you don't get yourself into that just seems to find you.

Honestly, this just makes his life so much easier.

Rafayel is so used to soloing against people looking to do you harm or bring trouble to you, so this isn't too much different than what he used to do before you two met again. And if you come to live with him along the seaside, it's that much easier for him.

He's in his element, so discovering anything insidious lurking near is easy, and he can usually take care of the issue long before it could ever reach you, much less get to you and you finally getting to have a breather in life.

One of his favorite things is a quiet day at home with you, sitting high on a ladder as he works on another giant painting, working towards the top just so that he can peer out the window- he loves watching you work on the garden boxes he bought for you, even if you don't notice him yourself.

Xavier -

He's bared witness to everything you've been through- at least the worst of it. Anything he hasn't, you've definitely brought him up to speed with nervous laughs and late night conversation when the two of you were awake past when you should be.

So he knows.

He knows you mean it when you tell him your wish.

He also knows you more than deserve it.

Xavier will smile it off easily, asking you if that isn't already what you've been doing with him- snuggling during the colder months on the couch in his apartment, waiting for him to finish his assignments and come home to a half-finished movie and a stale bowl of popcorn you fell asleep eating. The butter was tacky now like the tips of your fingers against the blanket he'll need to wash tomorrow as he picks you up to take you to bed.

Living somewhere out of the city is doable to him, and he'll let you pick the place. Occasional visits into the city are a necessity, though- how else is he going to supply Jerimiah with the harvests from your gorgeous garden if not? It's a nice little living, in addition to whatever Xavier brings in.

It also helps him really appreciate the smaller things in life. He never really knew how much he would love dancing in the kitchen as the sun sets through the window, until now.

[shytastemakerthing]

Morning/Afternoon/Evening to you!

May I request some slight angst/comfort headcanons of Leona & Malleus with a Yuu who has a crush on them, & some other rando student outed them to their crush as a cruel prank so now their scared & embarrassed (but they don’t know yet that their feels are reciprocated)?

A/N: Hello and thank you so much for your request! First one with the angst to comfort so this should be really fun! Enjoy! Also, the reader's dorm is not given, choose as you please! Reader referred to as Herbivore in Leona's, species not mentioned in Malleus', but referred to as My Treasure

Tw: None

Request: Leona and Malleus with Yuu who has a crush

Having a crush on the lazy lion was certainly something of an acquired taste, at least, that is what your friends had told you when they found out

He was lazy, brash, really seemed to only care about one thing in his life, was not a fan of his family, the list seemed to go on

But it wasn't something you really cared about

It had been just like any other day

You were in the botanical gardens at the moment, working on collecting a few things that were going to be needed for Crewel's up coming assignment that day, your partner not exactly the most helpful

Rather rude, if we were going to be honest, only piggybacking on you for the good grade

What you didn't know was that they knew of this little crush that you happened to have on their dorm leader

And that said dorm leader was in their line of sights

You don't fully know what happened

One moment, you were collecting materials, the next you saw your partner with said lion, having a rather coy grin on their face as they seemed to be spilling out pretty much everything that they knew of this little crush

You could feel your heart racing, hands beginning to sweat, throat dried up, the panic setting in as you see Leona turning to face you

You were pretty sure you were on the verge of hyperventilating but you wasted no time in getting as far away from the botanical gardens as possible, dropping your supplies

Eyes blurring with tears, making them burn, the same burn that filled your lungs and ran through your legs as you kept running

You weren't seen in class that day, nor for the rest of that day

There was no way you were going to leave your dorm now, not when he knew

All because of some cruel joke, just because your partner got picked with you for this assignment

It was already getting rather late out, and you had finally managed to get yourself under control, grimacing in the mirror at how puffy and red your eyes and cheeks looked when you heard a knock on the door

Just hoping that whoever it was would just go away, you opted to stay where you were

Until you heard another knock followed by an all too familiar voice that made your throat clench, the tears threatening to come back

Knowing full well that Leona wouldn't leave until you answered, you managed to trudge your feet along until you made it to the door before finally opening it, keeping your gaze to the ground

Leona was a man who was not the best with emotional speeches, believing that actions meant far more than words

So you were left rather stunned when his head pushed against yours in almost a nuzzling fashion

"Tch, making me chase you down through this whole school. You're lucky that those feelings of yours are mutual, Herbivore."

Out of all of the people that were here in NRC, you just happened to fall in love with one of the five more powerful people in this world, head of Diasomnia, next in line as king of Briar Valley, Malleus Draconia himself

You certainly knew that he was way out of your league

Granted, you had a few small conversations here and there as you were someone who never seemed to be afraid to approach him, something he will always be grateful for, it just didn't seem likely, nor would be be logical for him to choose someone as you for a partner, given the different status you both share

You wouldn't say that you were close with Malleus, but to others, it was clear that he enjoyed the presence you gave him and the nice little talks here and there when the both of you weren't busy

And there was a member of his dorm that didn't really seem to like just how close you were with their housewarden (not Sebek for once)

You were just arriving to Diasomnia with a new book in your hand that you had just found on Gargoyles, one that Malleus had mentioned was missing from his collection, so when you saw it in Sam's shop of all places, you knew you had to get it, no matter how high the price for it was

Though it was as if Sam had known what the purpose of the book would be and had given you a rather nice discount on it

There was a pep in your step and a smile on your face before you came to a halt just before going into the common room, seeing Malleus there walking with another fae member of the dorm, one that didn't exactly look all too pleased

There was not so much that you were able to hear in the conversation, but you certainly heard your name, the jab at your social status, how someone like you didn't even deserve the right to be in the presence of Malleus, let alone be walking into the dorm of the Great Thorn Fairy, that this little crush you had on him should be snuffed out immediately

You had dropped the book in your hands, gathering the attention of the two fae in the room and the first thing Malleus would see was the tears lining your cheeks as you tried to keep the sniffling at bay as you quickly turned on your heel, running from the dorm as fast as your legs could take you

Instantly called for Lilia to take care of this dorm member who had no right to say what they did as there were far more important matters to tend too

You were glad that classes were over for the day because there was no way that you were going to be able to make it to them in this sorry state

Your heart was clenched in your chest so hard that it was physically painful, no matter how many times you would wipe the tears, they just kept coming, along with the sobs that wracked your form

Your eyes were so blurry that you hadn't noticed the small flurry of green speckles that began to materialize in your room

Not before a rather large jacket was being placed over your form, making you jump instantly, as you were in your own room and you hadn't heard the door open, only to see Malleus there, the jacket of his dorm uniform over your shoudlers

You hadn't even realized you were shivering until he had placed it over you

Quickly looking away, you tried to clean yourself up a bit, to not seem more pathetic than what you probably already looked before you felt him sit next to you, one hand coming to rest on top of yours

It was then you realized that he was now carrying the book that you had gotten for him in his other hand

Then you would see the most gentle smile on his face, a glow to those beautiful green eyes, his fingers weaving between yours as he gave them a small squeeze

"No matter the differences that are between us, there is no one else that I would rather spend the rest of my days with, than you, My Treasure."

I freaking loved writing this one! I may delve more into this and try to make a full one-shot for these. What do you guys think, should I do it??

Have a wonderful day/night!

[imaginespazzi]

Part 10: The Bridges Burned Around Us

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 11 - Part 12

Be good to me, and I'll be good to you (but please don't be too good to be true)

(In which an apologetic writer finally finishes a chapter that took much longer than necessary)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff and Angst

Words: 10.2K (seems fitting for chapter 10 lol)

TW: Swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies :) I am so incredibly late with this I know but considering it's really the length of two chapters, I think I should be forgiven. Despite how long this took me, I don't really know how I feel about this chapter because it's both filler but also pretty important so honestly it does feel a little all over the place. But I hope y'all like it anyways. I do suggest quickly skimming over Part 2 before you read this just to jog your memory a little bit. I did edit as I always do but there's probably typos/mistakes, so feel free to point those out. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see in the future. Have a wonderful weekend my loves <3

May 2033

“What the hell Bueckers?” Coach yells, glaring daggers at Paige who has the audacity to at least look a little embarrassed as she reaches a hand to help the rookie she’d just knocked over with far too much unnecessary force. Azzi narrows her eyes at the scene, confused at Paige’s atypical behavior. It wasn’t uncommon for the vets to rib the rookies a little bit, hell they had a whole ragging initiation ceremony planned for this weekend to welcome the newest members of their team, but Paige seemed to have a personal vendetta against Angie Davis.

When they’d watched the draft together, Azzi could’ve seen sworn she’d seen a flash of uncomfortableness flicker in Paige’s eyes as the commissioner announced that the Valkyries, with their third pick acquired via Atlanta, were picking Angie Davis from Stanford University. The blonde had stiffened but only for a split second and Azzi had chalked it up to nothing because really, what beef could Paige possibly have with a 22 year old? Except clearly something was bothering the Minnesota native because this is the fifth time today itself that Paige has fouled the girl so hard that her body had almost slightly bounced as it hit the floor. 

The first time, everyone had found it amusing because who didn’t laugh at a rookie getting a taste of the league. The second time, Coach had rolled her eyes but the rest of the team had still found it pretty funny. And then as it continued, Azzi could tell her teammates were just as confused by Paige’s behavior as she was. They might not know the blonde as well as Azzi did, but in the last month or so they’d discover that the basketball superstar was really just a ball of golden retriever energy. Since they’d started training camp recently, they’d seen that Paige always practiced hard but she also had the time of her life doing it. They’d seen that she might practically bulldoze her teammates in her eagerness to be a good defender but she’d always be the first one to help pick them up with a teasing grin on her face right after. Except apparently not with Angie. With Angie, there was nothing but brute force and the first couple of times, before Coach’s clear irritation had started to seep onto her face, Paige hadn’t even bothered helping the rookie up. And although Azzi would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that a part of her found this aggressive display of strength just a tad bit attractive, she also knew it was completely unlike her Paige to be acting like this. 

“So,” she says softly, lowering her voice purposefully as she sidles up to Paige in the locker room after practice, “are we going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” there’s a smirk on Paige’s face as she takes a step closer towards Azzi. 

The brunette narrows her eyes, “you know what.”

“What I know,” Paige whispers as she ghosts her hands across Azzi’s hips, keeping her movement innocuous as to not alert their other teammates who are engrossed in conversation not too far away from them, “is that I’m pretty sure you’re just looking for a way to get close to me.” 

“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” but she can’t stop the faint blush that’s creeping up  her cheeks as Paige’s hot breath fans across her face and her gaze shifts to the blonde’s sweat sheened biceps that are on fully display under her flimsy tank top. 

Paige notices it immediately as her smirk widens, “appreciating the view baby?”

“Shut up,” Azzi shoves her back lightly, “don’t try and distract me.”

“‘I’m not even trying. I just have that effect on you,” Paige shrugs coyly as she pushes herself back into Azzi’s space.

The brunette’s eyes dart over to her teammate for a brief second, making sure the rest of them are still occupied with their own conversations as she takes her own step towards the blue-eyed woman, the edges of her lips turning up into a smug grin when she hears Paige’s breath hitch, “and what about the effect I have on you?”

There’s something thrilling about hiding this from their team, something sexy about having to keep their hands to themselves when they’re constantly desperate to touch. It was torture in a way, having Paige so close and not being able to kiss her or hold her. But that only meant that when Azzi did finally get to do all of those things, it felt like finally coming up for air; like after being deprived of her oxygen for so long, she could finally breathe. 

Last time around, they’d kept it a secret from the world but everyone who meant something to them had known. Their old teammates for one. This time, especially since they hadn’t quite defined what this was, they’d chosen to keep it even closer to their chests. It had been Paige’s idea this time and Azzi thinks maybe she’d proposed it just to beat the brunette to the punch-maybe she’d even been a little disappointed by it- but she thinks that they probably do need a little more time; a little more time to trust that this time they wouldn’t go up in flames, that they wouldn’t burn everyone else around them. 

“You don’t- you don’t have any effect on me,” Paige stutters. 

“Is that right?” Azzi asks coyly, taking her shirt off at a ridiculous slow pace, enjoying the way blonde’s eyes are immediately drawn towards her toned abs, “none at all?” 

“N-no,” Paige gulps as she watches the brunette finally get rid of the offending t-shirt and she’s left in nothing but a sports bra that does little to hide the curves underneath. 

“Appreciating the view baby?”  Azzi smirks, repeating the older woman’s words from before she slyly runs her index finger across the purplish red hues of a hickey Paige had left on her collarbone from the night before. 

“You’re so-”

“Bueckers,” a loud voice interrupts Paige’s groan as the two of them spring apart, everyone in the room turning to look at their Coach leaning against the doorframe, “in my office. Now.”

It feels a little bit like they’re college students being reprimanded again but there’s this nagging intuition in Azzi’s gut, as she watched Paige sheepishly follow Coach into her office, that she’s missing out on some important information. Something churns in her stomach at the thought of it. Things had been near perfect so far; they were climbing back up to what they had been, maybe climbing their way to something better but Azzi thinks that if another gust of circumstance tries to shove them down again, they might not be able to get back up this time. Because this time, they’re not climbing alone. This time, they have Stephie and at the end of the day, she’s all that matters. 

“So is Paige’s car broken or something?” Tessa’s question catches Azzi off guard as she shakes herself out of head and looks at her teammate with confusion. 

“Uh no why?”

“I mean it’s just every time she shows up somewhere, it seems she’s in your car, with you. So I just figured something must be up with her car, why else would y’all be carpooling literally every single day unless-” there’s a sparkle in Tessa’s eyes as she leans casually against her locks, “unless there’s another reason?”

“What other reason could there be?” Azzi’s voice is unusually high-pitched as she avoids Tessa’s perceptive eyes and instead glares daggers at a spluttering Jana, “her car’s in the shop. That’s it. That’s definitely it. That’s the only reason I’m driving her around.”

“Aw that sucks,” Laila says with an oblivious empathetic smile, “I mean we could help out if that’s the case? With carpooling.”

“I don’t think-”

“What a lovely idea Phelia,” Tessa smirks and Azzi knows just by how guileful it is, that the former Gamecock is absolutely onto them, “what do you think Azzi? Maybe we can make a little chart for who drives Paige to practice huh? Be welcoming to our teammate?”

Resisting the urge to flip off both Tessa and Jana whose shoulders are shaking with laughter, Azzi settles on a sugary sweet smile instead, “I don’t think that’s necessary-”

“Oh we’d be happy to help,” Tessa chirps happily and Azzi’s suddenly wistful for the moment back in her senior year when she’d dropped the South Carolina guard for an easy layup. 

“And that’s very kind of y’all but,” she reaches over to squeeze the younger girl’s shoulder tightly, making her grunt in discomfort, “I think Paige is okay. It just works better if it’s one person. Less complications, you know?”

“Won’t somebody please think about the complications,” Jana snickers. 

“I’m so confused,” Laila says, a frown on her face as she looks weirdly at her teammates. 

“It’s nothing,” Azzi says shrilly as she slings both her and Paige’s bags on her shoulders, rolling her eyes when both Jana and Tessa giggle at the domesticity of the action, “don’t worry about it, Phelia.”

“Y’all are acting strange,” Laila shrugs as she starts to make her way out of the locker room and Azzi’s rounds on the other two women. 

“Whatever you think you know Tess,” Azzi raises a finger in warning, “keep it to yourself.”

Tessa makes a point to make a zipping motion across her lips as her eyes glimmer with mischief. 

“Thank god,” Jana gasps dramatically, “I was so tired of having to deal with these two all by myself. Do you know how hard it is Tess? I’ve been doing it for YEARS.”

“You poor soul,” Tessa coos, “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. They’re kind of disgusting.”

“You peeped that already? Damn Azzi, do you realize how sickening y’all must be for Tessa to have already figured it out?”

“No forreal,” Tessa teases, “if you don’t want people catching onto your shit, I suggest y’all stop eyefucking every other second.”

“Fuck all the way off. Both of you,” Azzi grunts as Jana practically howls with laughter.

“You kiss your daughter with that mouth Fudd?”

“I dunno about Stephie,” Tessa drops her voice so only Jana and Azzi can hear her, “but I bet she kisses Paige with that mouth huh Az?”

Azzi groans, hiding her bright red face in her hands as her teammates' jovial laughter echoes through the locker room.

*** 

Paige is eerily quiet as she climbs into the passenger seat and Azzi knows immediately by the way she doesn’t try to coax her way into driving, that whatever conversation she’d had with Coach, likely hadn’t been a pleasant one. There are a thousand and one questions taking birth in her mind but Azzi doesn’t voice any of them, knowing Paige isn’t ready to answer them. Instead, she laces her fingers through Paige’s, resting them on the other girl's lap as she rubs a soothing circle against the back of her hand, a promise of whenever you’re ready to share, i’ll be ready to listen. 

They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts, one driven by that fact Paige has practically moved into Azzi’s house at this point. Their day started with them dropping Stephie off at school before the two of them would go to training or practice or whatever basketball activities they had planned. Then, they’d go to pick up Stephie from school and Azzi would drop her and Paige off at Curry camp while she ran various errands before circling back to pick them up. It’s domestic as hell and there’s a part of Azzi that’s still a little fearful; perhaps they’re trying to fit the puzzle pieces of their separate lives into each other a little too quickly. But she thinks that maybe those puzzle pieces had never really been disconnected, because sometimes she thinks their existence might just be an extension of each other’s. 

“You know,” Azzi begins softly when it becomes abundantly clear Paige isn’t going to speak first, “I’m okay with the fact that you’ve probably fucked other people. I mean other than the woman you married as well that is.”

“What the fuck?” Paige’s head whips towards her so quick, it must hurt just a little bit, “where the fuck did that come from?”

Azzi shrugs, “I’m just saying-”

“Why are you just saying?” Paige's eyes widen in panic as she possessively tightens her grip on the brunette’s hand, “are you about to tell me about someone you hooked up with? Because I’mma be honest Azzi I’d rather jump out of this moving car then hear about some whore who had the audacity-”

“Audacity? You do realize I was-”

“Say you were single and I actually will jump out of the car,” Paige warns, “but no actually dude what the fuck?”

“Well you see,” Azzi says carefully, “I’m trying to figure out why you’re being such a bitch to our new rookie and after careful deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s gotta be a hookup gone wrong because why the fuck else would Paige Bueckers, who has a hard time killing a spider, be so unnecessarily mean to this poor girl?” 

There’s silence in the car for a second as Paige opens and closes her mouth, unable to get a word out, until she doubles over laughing, the sound of it echoing all around them. Azzi can’t help the soft grin that flitters across her face, relieved at seeing the way the tension begins to dissipate from the blonde’s shoulders. And Azzi swears that when Paige laughs, it feels a little bit like the sun has come out again; like the flowers are blooming and birds are chirping and everything is right in the world again and she thinks the sun should probably be jealous of the warmth Paige exudes because at least against the silhouette of Azzi’s sky, Paige burns brighter than the sun ever will. 

“You-you think I fucked Angie?” Paige finally manages to splutter out between peals of laughs, “baby she’s barely 22.”

“Hey,” Azzi pouts, “you always did go for younger women. Like me for example.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “you’re literally one year younger than me.”

“One year and a couple of days,” Azzi corrects. 

Rolling her eyes Paige uses both hands to hold Azzi’s non-driving one, “Azzi I swear to you that I have never in my life hooked up with Angie fucking Davis.”

“I know,” Azzi confesses, eyes still focused on the road ahead of her, “so what exactly is your problem with her then Paige?”

“You couldn’t have just asked me that?”

Azzi shrugs, “felt like I needed to make you laugh first. So tell me Bueckers-” before she can continue, she feels lips being pressed to her cheeks and can’t help the crimson tinge it elicits on her face, “what- what was that for?”

“Because you’re a little bit of a sap and I’m glad you’re my sap,” Paige grins, “all mine.”

“You’re trying to change the topic.”

“I am not.”

“Paige.”

The blonde sighs, leaning her head back against the headrest, “can we talk about it tonight? I wanna tell you I promise- I just- I think we need to sit down so that I- I can explain it to you properly.”

“That feels ominous,” Azzi’s stomach clenches at the seriousness in Paige’s voice as she turns onto the street for Stephie’s school, “should I be worried?”

“No,” Paige says firmly, bringing their enclosed hands to her mouth so she can brush a kiss across Azzi’s knuckles, “it’s nothing we can’t get through.”

Azzi nods as she pulls into the school parking lot, mustering up a reassuring smile of her own as she squeezes Paige’s hand. But there’s still a speck of fear dancing around in her gut; it’s this constant fear of losing Paige again that she doesn’t think she’ll ever truly be able to sweep out of her system. They’ve been doing so good these last few weeks -like they’re collecting together the scattered pages of everything we used to be and binding them back together with strings of all that we can become- but sometimes Azzi finds herself afraid that it might all just disappear, that a gust of wind might blow everything out of her hands all over again. 

“HI MAMA. HI MISS BUECKS,” she’s shaken from her thoughts by the backdoor opening as Stephie barrels into the car, the happiness in her voice contagious as she leans over the console to kiss Azzi and then Paige, before hanging between them and tapping at her own cheeks. The two adults laugh as they simultaneously press their lips to the little girl's cheeks, causing her dimples to deepen as she giggles between them. 

“How was school Stephie-bean?” Paige asks, peering over her own shoulder to make sure Stephie buckles herself in correctly as Azzi backs the car out. 

Stephie scrunches up her nose is distaste, “it’s school Miss Buecks. It was so boring. Except for lunch. Lunch was great. I love lunch.”

“You’re so real Steph,” Paige nods seriously, “lunch is the best and school is so bor-”

“Paige!”

“C’mon Az, I’m not gonna lie to the kid.”

“Exactly Mama,” Stephie chimes in loyally from the backseat, “lying is bad.”

Azzi rolls her eyes as Paige twists her hand to hold it out for Stephie to high-five it from the backseat, “the two of you are insufferable.”

“What does that mean?” Stephie asks, tilting her head in confusion. 

“It means we’re her most favorite people in the world,” Paige winks at the little girl as Azzi shakes her head fondly, choosing to keep the you’re more than that, you two are the reason my world keeps turning that tastes sugary sweet on the tip of her tongue to herself as she continues to drive. 

“What do y’all want for dinner?” she asks instead, ready to make a mental note of ingredients she might need to pick up from the grocery store while Paige and Stephie are at Curry Camp. 

“Actually,” there’s a slight nervous lilt to Paige’s voice and when Azzi looks over, she finds the older woman fidgeting anxiously with her thumbs, “I was thinking that maybe um- maybe y’all could come over to mine tonight? Maybe I can cook?”

They haven’t stayed at Paige’s since that first disastrous night. It hadn’t been on purpose per say; it was simply just easier to stay at Azzi’s, especially with Stephie to consider but perhaps a part of it had been subconscious self-preservation on the younger girl's part. Something about sleeping over at Paige’s feels more purposeful; like she’s fully letting herself step back into the other’s girl world and this time with the promise to not run away in the morning. It’s scary but when Azzi sees the hopeful look on Paige’s face as the blonde bites her lips, she thinks it’s worth it to take the leap; she’s ready for it. 

“I think that would be nice,” she says with a soft smile, “I’ll pick up some clothes for Stephie while y’all are at camp.”

Paige beams and Azzi can tell she’s itching to lean over to grab her hand or kiss her touch her in any way but there’s still the little fact they still haven’t quite told Stephie anything about them yet that stops her from doing any of the above. 

“What do you think of that Stephie bean? You wanna have a sleepover at my place tonight?” she redirects her attention to the little girl instead. 

“YES PLEASE,” Stephie squeals, practically bouncing on her car seat before a frown crosses her forehead, “but um-” she hesitates, “you um- you can’t cook Miss Buecks.”

Azzi bursts into a laughter as an offended look clouds Paige’s face, “excuse me? I absolutely can cook.”

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie says, her condescension-filled tone as adult as she can make it be, “you burned my eggs three times this week and then Mama had to make them all over again and we were almost late for school,” the little girl smirks through her ramble, “but that’s okay because I don’t mind being late for school because like I said school is really boring.”

“Okay but what about the one time I didn’t burn the eggs?” Paige haughtily crosses her arms over chest, “have we all just forgotten about that?”

“Pretty sure they were a little undercooked and saltless that one time-OW,” Azzi’s snicker is cut off by a pinch to her stomach, “do you want me to crash the car woman?”

Paige ignores her, turning back to look at Stephie with a betrayed expression, “you said you liked them?”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feeling Miss Buecks,” the little girl wails and Azzi feels a mix of pride and love bloom in her heart at the kind soul she’s raised, “I’m sorry Miss Buecks but I just-” Stephie reaches as far as her seatbelt will allow to cup Paige’s hand in her tiny hands, “I really don’t think you should cook Miss Buecks.Please. I don’t wanna die yet. I’m too cute to die.”

“You know what Stephie bean,” Paige taps the little girl’s nose, “I think you might be even more of a drama queen than me-”

“Don’t sound so proud,” Azzi mutters under her breath. 

“Shhh,” Paige chastises, never looking away from Stephie, “but alright sweetheart. I won’t cook. How about we order pizza?”

Stephie lets out a delighted cheer as Azzi grumbles, “more junk food? I swear to god Bueckers you’re completely ruining her diet.”

“On the contrary, I think I’m finally fixing it. You poor thing,” Paige coos at Stephie dramatically, “I bet your Mama was torturing you with nasty green things all day every day before me huh?”

“No no no Miss Buecks, veggies are good for you,” Stephie recites loyally and Azzi grins triumphantly at Paige. 

“Oh dear Stephie you’ve been brainwashed-”

“Excuse me? Don’t try to corrupt my child out of her good habits.”

“I’m not corrupting her,” Paige defends as Azzi makes a left turn into the parking lot for Curry Camp, “I’m just teaching her the wonders of grease and oil and all the other fun things that adults lie are bad for you.”

“Paige you are an adult.”

“But a fun one,” Paige smirks, waggling her eyebrows at Stephie through the mirror as Azzi stops the car right outside the building, “right Stephie-bean?”

“The fun-est-est-est-est,” Stephie choruses back as she begins to unbuckle herself so she can latch onto her mother’s neck from behind. Paige takes the opportunity to climb out of the car so she can grab Stephie’s sports bag from where it’s kept in the trunk.

“You be good for Miss Buecks and Uncle Twin at camp today okay?” Azzi whispers to the little girl, “and I better hear that you made all your shots.”

Stephie scoffs, “you know I never miss Mama.”

“That’s my girl,” Azzi grins as she nuzzles her nose against the little girl’s before Paige opens the backdoor and Stephie unlatches herself from her mother, only so she can go barrelling into the older woman’s arms instead, “Stephie-bean you know you can walk.”

“But Mama,” Stephie whines, wrapping her hands tightly around Paige’s neck, “I’m too tired to walk-”

“Stephie,” Azzi sighs. 

“You don’t mind carrying me, do you Miss Buecks?”

“Of course not,” Paige grins, “whatever you want sweetheart.”

Stephie looks pointedly at Azzi, “see Mama? Miss Buecks doesn’t mind.”

“Of course she doesn’t,” Azzi shakes her head, “alright off you two go. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

“Bye Mama,” Stephie waves, “hurry back okay? We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you guys too,” Azzi says warmly, blowing a kiss at both of them. 

It’s uncanny how similar the two of them are, when both Stephie and Paige make a show of catching the kiss and bringing it to their heart before looking at each other and giggling over their own silliness. It makes Azzi’s heartache in the best way possible. And as she watches the two of them start walking up the stairs, Stephie rambling and Paige hanging onto every word, she thinks that as long as life gives her the two of them, she’ll never ask for anything else. 

***

The first thing Azzi notices when she walks into the gym, arriving a little before camp finishes so she can say hi to her mentor, is Stephie sulking as she glares at Paige from the other side of the court. Confused, because it’s rare to see her daughter looking at the other woman with anything but pure adulation, Azzi follows the little girl’s line of sight to see what could possibly have upset her. A fond smile crosses her face as she sees Paige crowded by a bunch of children, all of them watching the superstar with wonder as she demonstrates her shooting technique. Paige swishes the ball into the basket and one would think she’d just scored the game-winning shot in the finals, by the way the gaggle of kids around her let out enthused cheers. 

The blonde has always had this aura that draws people to her -Azzi would know; she’d been one of the first people to succumb to it (not that she’d put up much of a fight)- but there’s something different about the charisma Paige has with kids. Perhaps it’s because of her own childlike innocence that’s still intact despite her age, but it’s clear that the little ones adore her. Azzi watches as one of the little girls animatedly tries to mimic what Paige had just demonstrated, looking upset when the basketball barely touches the rim. 

“I’m never gonna make a basket,” she hears the girl pout. 

Paige ruffles the kid’s hair before lifting her up onto her lap, “of course you are. You just needed a little bit more height. Here try again,” she says as she urges the girl to shoot again now that she’s higher off the ground. This time the ball falls magnificently through the hoop and the child whoops. 

“OH MY GOD COACH P I DID IT,” she squeals, hiding her face in Paige’s neck and while Azzi finds the whole thing quite adorable, when she looks over, she realizes that clearly Stephie is not nearly amused as she watches her daughter’s face transform into a scowl. 

“Riley and Ryan used to make the same face any time I gave another little girl too much of my time,” Azzi grins as Steph appears by her side, the former Warriors guard bumping her shoulder as a sign of greeting, “I split the kids into groups, half with Paige and half with me. Kept Stephie with me cause you know I thought I was her favorite but she’s been glaring at all the kids with Paige this whole time.”

“She’s uh- she’s a little possessive,” Azzi chuckles, eyes still on her daughter who finally looks away from Paige, before angrily shooting the ball at the lowered basket in front of her. 

“NICE SHOT TWIN NIECE,” Steph cheers as Stephie makes the shot, the little girl’s face unmoving as she gathers the ball back and gets ready to shoot again. Sometimes Azzi thinks, as she claps with pride, her daughter’s laser-focus attitude might rival her own. Maybe it’s a mother’s bias -she’d call it intuition- but she’s certain Stephie’s going to be a basketball phenomenon one day. 

“That was so pretty Stephie-bean,” Paige is beaming as she approaches Stephie, the little girl from before holding her hand, “you think you can show Claudia here how you get that arc on it?”

“No thank you Coach Bueckers,” Stephie’s voice is perfectly polite as she makes a point to not look at the two people who’ve just entered her space, but Azzi catches the split second when her gaze shifts irritatedly to the way Claudia’s hanging off of Paige, “I’m a little busy right now. Maybe another time.”

“Oh she’s good,” Steph whistles lowly as Paige’s mouth falls open at not being referred to as Miss Buecks, “she’s gonna have Paige groveling after camp I bet. She’s gonna get whatever treat she wants.” 

Azzi groans, “that is not a good thing. Do you know how much junk food she manipulates Paige into getting her?”

Steph laughs, “she spoils her huh?”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Azzi mutters but there’s a wistful grin on her face, “It’s part of why Stephie adores her so much cause she knows Paige would give her the world if she could.”

“I don’t think it’s just Stephie who adores her,” Steph bumps his shoulder against her and Azzi blanches at the knowing tone in his voice. 

“That’s not- I mean- I don’t- I don’t know what you mean,” she stutters out. 

Steph rolls his eyes goodnaturedly, “oh come off it Az. It was obvious when y’all were kids and it’s still obvious now.”

“When we were- you knew?” 

“Of course I knew,” Steph scoffs, “I’ve been married for more than 20 years to the same girl I fell in love with at 15 years old Az, I know a thing or two about what love looks like. Of course I knew.”

“I’m just getting clocked left right and center today what the hell,” she grumbles but there’s a part of her that’s slightly relieved about the people around them slowly figuring it out. She thinks she should maybe be a little more embarrassed about how obvious they apparently are -have supposedly always been- but honestly she kind of loves that their love is so bright, that it’s impossible to not see it. 

Love. The word sends a shiver through Azzi. It’s not a foreign feeling to her at all, especially not when it comes to Paige. If she’s honest with herself, it’s a feeling that has never left. She’d tried as hard as she could; shoving it underneath a rock of you’re not allowed to feel this way that weighed heavily against her chest. But it had always been there and as soon as Paige had waltzed her way back into Azzi’s life, the blonde seemed to have found a way to shovel it right back out. And that four-letter-word isn’t buried anymore; it’s right there on the tip of her tongue and every time Paige smiles at her -eyes crinkling with only for you-, Azzi’s this close to let it slip through her lips. She’s just waiting for the right time.

“Hey Stephie-bean can I fix your form a little bit,” her attention is drawn back to her surroundings as she watches Paige try to get Stephie to look at her again but her daughter is nothing if not stubborn. 

“That’s okay. It’s almost time to go home and I’m sure Uncle Twin can help me with my form Coach Bueckers,” the little girl says contemptuously to a gobsmacked Paige before gesturing at Claudia, “how about you just keep helping her instead.”

“Sheesh that’s one petty kid you’ve got there Fudd,” Steph remarks before stepping to the front of the court and blowing his whistle, “alright y’all it’s 5 o’clock. Great job today! I hope you guys had a lot of fun and learned some good stuff and I’ll see y’all back here tomorrow!”

The former player diligently high-fives all the kids before they disperse towards their awaiting parents. Azzi can tell Stephie’s still irritated when the little girl barely hugs Steph, shaking herself out of her Uncle’s arms much quicker than she normally would as she all but stomps her way to her mother. 

“Woah there Stephie-bean,” Azzi says gently, falling to her knees in front of her daughter, “what’s wrong?”

Stephie pouts miserably, “I’m mad at Miss Buecks. She’s been helping other kids this whole time.”

Azzi has to bite her lip to keep herself from smiling, amused by the child’s dramatics, “baby you know that’s Miss Buecks’s job right? She’s here to coach all the kids.”

If possible, Stephie’s frown deepens as she kicks her feet stubbornly, “she can coach them,” she says matter-of-factly, “but why does she have to carry them and give them hugs. She should only do that with me.”

“Stephie-”

“And camp is over now and she’s still with stupid Claudia,” Stephie whines as she uses her hand to turn Azzi’s face towards Paige, “see?”

The we don’t call people stupid lesson that she was just about to give her daughter dies on Azzi’s lips as her eyes fixate on where a stupid pretty young woman who she knows to be Claudia’s mother is staring up at Paige with a stupid flirty smile. Azzi has no idea what the blonde is saying, but she’s sure it can’t be that funny to make the woman tilt her head back in laughter, left hand reaching out to flick Paige’s bicep and lingering far longer than necessary. 

“You know what Stephie-bean I think it’s time to home,” and really she feels just a little guilty with how she’s about to use her clearly upset daughter, “how about you go call Miss Buecks over.”

That’s all it takes to get Stephie running towards her and Azzi follows cautiously behind, only getting further irritated at how Claudia’s mother seems determined to step closer and closer to Paige and the clueless blonde does absolutely nothing to stop it, continuing to smile politely at the other woman. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie comes to a halt in front of Paige, interrupting whatever conversation was going on as she practically forces herself in between the two women, “Mama says it’s time to go home.”

Despite the jealousy simmering her heart, Azzi can’t help that her heart skips a beat at the way Paige’s whole face brightens up at seeing Stephie; clearly relieved at the little girl using her nickname again. 

“Give me one second sweetheart. I’m just a little busy talking to Claudia and her mother-”

“Mama,” Stephie says loudly, cutting Paige off as she turns to Azzi, “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?”

“Um- I- uh-” the brunette stutters, not having expected her little girl to bring that up as her gaze flickers towards a frozen Paige whose smile is completely gone, her body going rigid at the mention of Clémence.

“I was just thinking,” Stephie barrels on casually, “maybe we could go see her and she could give me cuddles and kisses since app-ently Miss Buecks is too busy to give them to me-”

The little girl cuts herself off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted off the ground and into Paige’s arms; the blonde peppering her lips against every inch of Stephie’s face. 

“Never ever too busy for you and I’m especially never too busy to give you kisses Stephie-bean.”

“Promise,” Stephie holds out her pinky finger and Paige diligently intertwines her own through it, pressing a kiss to their now interlocked pinkies. 

“Promise.”

Shaking her head fondly at her menace daughter’s antiques, Azzi fixes Claudia’s mother with a sweetly saccharine smile as she wraps a possessive hand around Paige’s bicep. She can feel the blonde’s eyes immediately drift towards her, clearly a little thrown off by her forwardness. It had been Azzi’s go-to-move in college whenever Paige’s fanclub would get a little too handsy. She’d sidle up into her girlfriend’s space, marking her territory as subtly as possible. Azzi knows this is a little different. It had been easier back then to play the action off as a protective best friend  warding off boundary-less fans; really it was uncanny the things two girls could get away with under the guise of friendship. But it’s different now that they’re actual adults and she can see the clogs running Claudia’s mother’s head as she starts to piece everything together. 

“Hi I don’t think we’ve properly met. I’m Stephie’s mom, Azzi, nice to meet you,” Azzi says finally, holding out her hand that isn’t still clasped firmly around Paige’s bicep, “I think it’s usually your husband who picks Claudia up from camp right?”

“I’m Stacie,” the woman says, primly returning the handshake, “yeah my husband’s usually the one who picks her up but I had a little time today-”

“Don’t lie Mommy. I heard you on the phone saying you wanted to come pick me up so you could meet Coach Bueckers-”

“Claudia,” Stacie hisses as Azzi narrows her eyes at the woman. 

“You said it’s cause you think she’s really hot-” Claudia manages to get out before her mother furiously clamps her hand over her mouth. 

“Azzi,” Paige whispers under her breath, wincing slightly as the shooting guard unconsciously tightens her grip, unable to keep the irritation of her face as she all but glares at Claudia’s mother. 

“You know kids, they say anything,” Stacie tries to justify, cowering under the sintering heat of Azzi’s stare. 

“Right,” the brunette nods with faux understanding, “well if you’ll excuse us, I think it’s time for us to go unless-” she turns her gaze onto Paige who looks innocently back at her as she hides a smile against Stephie’s stomach, “unless you’re still busy that is?”

Paige shakes her head affectionately as she tugs her arm out of Azzi’s grip, only so she can lock their pinkies together, the angle of it just out of Stephie’s line of sight, “never too busy for you,” she repeats, “let’s go.”

*** 

“Mama, will you tell Miss Buecks that I’m not speaking to her,” Stephie says as soon as the three of them get settled into the car. 

“What,” Paige shrieks, twisting her head around to look at the little girl who decisively looks away, her tiny hands crossed over her chest. 

“Stephie,” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, stretching her legs out in the passenger seat; Paige had insisted on driving this time and she hadn’t bothered fighting against it, “babes I thought you’d gotten over it? You were literally just talking to her.”

“That’s cause I forgot I was mad when Miss Buecks gave me my kisses but I rem-ber now,” Stephie explains. 

“Remember what?” Paige asks frantically, “Stephie-bean what did I do?”

The little girl in question makes it a point to turn her nose up and look directly at Azzi as she answers, “Mama will you tell Miss Buecks that she knows what she did.”

“I really, really don’t. Stephie sweetheart please tell me so I can fix it,” Paige tries again, and Azzi lets herself marvel at how the normally jittery-woman seems to have endless patience for her little girl. 

“YOU GAVE THE OTHER KIDS HIGH FIVES AND CUDDLES AND HUGS AND YOU EVEN LET CLAUDIA ONTO YOUR LAP,” Stephie bursts out emphatically, “you’re not supposed to do that with anyone but ME.”

“I-” Paige looks over helplessly at Azzi who holds her hands up in surrender, determined not to get in between the two of them and their dramatics. 

“You didn’t even ask Uncle Twin to let me be on your team,” Stephie accuses and then like she’s suddenly remembered that she’d made a bold assertion a couple of minutes ago, “Mama could you please tell Miss Buecks that I said all of that.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, “I have a feeling she might have heard you.”

“Did you like the other kid’s hugs more than you like mine?” the little girl prods, her eyes suddenly glimmering with tears. 

“Oh sweetheart of course not,” Paige consoles immediately, “I could never like anyone’s hugs more than yours, you know that. Your hugs are the best things in the whole wide world. And Stephie-bean, I thought you wanted to be with Uncle Twin, you said you missed him.”

“Wanted to be with you more,” Stephie pouts stubbornly, “I don’t wanna share my Miss Buecks with the other kids. I don’t want you to hug them or carry them and you definitely can’t give them kisses.”

“I didn’t even give any of them kisses,” Paige protests. 

“Stephie, Miss Buecks is a person, not an object. She’s allowed to hug or carry or kiss-” Azzi tries to explain but is almost immediately interrupted by Stephie who gives her an unamused look. 

“Well is she allowed to hug and carry and kiss Claudia’s Mama then?”

Azzi’s mouth falls open as Paige barely holds in her chuckle at the little girl’s cheeky question, “she absolutely is not allowed to do that.”

“Exactly,” there’s a satisfied grin on Stephie's face as she takes in the still dumbfounded expression on her mother’s face. 

“I just- I meant the kids. She’s allowed to hug or carry or kiss the kids-”

“NO SHE’S NOT.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Paige moves her hands up and down in a calming gesture before she reaches for Stephie hands, “how about this? From now on, I won’t carry any of the other kids and I definitely won’t give them any kisses. But can I at least give them one hug? Just one tiny little hug?”

Stephie ponders over the request for a second, “okay,” she agrees finally, “but only one hug and it can’t be longer than three seconds okay? And then you come and give me three of them right after?”

“Done. I’ll come give you five hugs right after,” Paige grins happily as the two of them shake on it before she turns back around to start driving them towards her house.  

“Mama you can tell Miss Buecks that I’m speaking to her again,” Stephie smiles toothily at Azzi through the rearview mirror. 

“Really?” Azzi responds sarcastically, “I couldn't have guessed.”

“You know,” Paige drops her voice so Stephie can’t hear them, “you’re being pretty sassy for someone who was just as irrationally jealous as a five year old a couple of minutes ago.”

“I was not jealous,” Azzi says indignantly, repeating herself when Paige’s smirk deepens, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Paige, I was absolutely not jealous.”

“Whatever you say baby,” Paige hums quietly as she turns the music up in the car, grinning at Stephie through the mirror when one of their new favorites comes on. 

Azzi preemptively covers her ears as her soft “oh please don’t start singing-” is immediately drowned out by the two other people in the car beginning to sing at the top of their voices. They barely know the lyrics and they’re definitely not on key and really Azzi’s poor ears are bleeding, but as she’s coerced into reluctantly joining in, she thinks this could still be her favorite sound in the whole wide world. 

They’re so enthralled in their cacophony -in each other- as they pull up to Paige’s house, that it takes them a far longer than it should to notice the figure on her porch. It isn’t until they’ve parked in the driveway, and Azzi’s gone around to grab her and Stephie’s overnight bag from the back while Paige lifts Stephie onto her shoulders, and they’re finally making their way up the three steps that lead to the deck, that they finally do. 

All chatter comes to a halt as the boy -well that’s not quite right; not when he towers over Paige and Azzi as he stands up from where he’d been sitting on the lawn chair. It’s been almost four years since she’d last seen him in person and even then he’d been a fleeting face in the crowd. She’s seen plenty of his clips from the rookie year he’d just finished in the NBA but it isn’t the same as seeing him in the flesh now. So much has changed; the baby fat is gone from his face, he’s lankier and longer and there’s a discernible aura of confidence around him; as is expected from a 20 year old man. Yet, as Azzi lets her gaze wander over him, she sees what she’s always seen. She sees that same innocence, that same kindness, that same drive in his eyes that she’d always found reflected in his sister’s eyes too. She looks at him and she still sees a mini version of her Paige. 

*** 

October 2022 

“AZZI,” Drew screams as he runs across the arrival gate, his carry-on suitcase practically abandoned for the flight attendant with him to begrudgingly pick up. 

“DREW,” Azzi’s smile widens as the little boy comes to a halt in front of her, his arms immediately wrapping around her waist, “oh my god you’ve gotten so much bigger little dude.”

Drew scrunches his nose up at her, “you literally saw me like a month ago.”

“And I think you might have doubled in size since,” she ruffles his hair before turning to the flight attendant who’s not so subtly checking her out, “thank you so much for getting him here safely.”

“Oh just doing my duty m’am, especially for a pretty lady like you,” the man says and Azzi winces at his dated flirting technique. 

“This is Azzi,” Drew introduces, irritation seeping into his voice as he tightens his grip on Azzi’s waist, “you know how I told you I’m flying out for my sister’s birthday, this is my sister’s girlfriend and it was her idea to fly me out to surprise my sister. Because you know she’s her girlfriend.”

“Right,” the man grimaces and Azzi has to bite back the laugh threatening to escape as he hastily hands Drew’s suitcase over before barely managing a half-hearted grin, “I um- uh- well I should get back to the uh- plane or something. Tell your- tell your sister happy birthday.”

“Thanks again,” Azzi calls after the man as he all but runs away from them, shaking her head fondly down at Drew who’s giggling into her side. 

“You think if I tell Paige he flirted with you, she’d get him fired?” he asks cheekily. 

“There’s a nonzero chance that she’d at least try,” Azzi agrees as the two of them start making their way out of the airport and towards her car. 

It’s a chilly fall morning and the sun has barely risen in the sky but Drew seems more awake than ever as he practically bounces into the passenger seat, clearly excited to see his sister who has no inkling that he’s coming. The idea had come to Azzi a week or so ago as she’d racked her head for ideas of what to do for Paige for her birthday. She’d done a good job putting up a front for the rest of their team -avidly cheering for them from the sidelines during practice- but Paige had been struggling these last couple of weeks. Azzi knows firsthand what it’s like to watch everyone else play the sport she loves while nursing her own injury and no matter how many i’m fine don’t worry about me spiels she got from her girlfriend, Azzi knew it was killing the point guard to not be out there with their team. 

If she could, Azzi would have liked to have miraculously fixed Paige’s torn ACL as her birthday gift but that was wishful thinking. So instead she’d decided on cheering Paige up with the other thing she loved more than playing basketball: spending time with her baby brother. It didn't take that much convincing to get Bob Bueckers -who’d seen just how despondent his daughter had been those first couple of weeks in that gloomy hotel- to allow Drew to take the first half of this week off of school. From then on, the main difficulty had been keeping it a secret from Paige who seemed to have sixth sense for when something was going on behind her back. It didn’t help that Drew had come close to spilling the beans more than a handful of times. But they’d somehow managed it and this morning, Azzi had rolled out of her girlfriend’s arms much earlier than she would have liked to, ready to give Paige the day she deserved. 

She glances at the clock. It’s almost 8 and Azzi knows that Paige is probably beginning to stir awake. She can almost picture the likely confusion on her girlfriend’s as she’d reach out for Azzi, only to find the spot next to her empty. As if on cue, the sound of a phone ringing vibrates around the car and Drew’s eyes light up at Paige’s name flashing on the media-board. 

“Don’t say a word,” Azzi warns him as she picks up the call. 

“WHAT THE HELL AZZI. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Paige’s irritated voice echoes throughout the car, “DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE IT IS TO MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAKE UP ALONE IN THE MORNING? ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY?”

Despite Azzi’s warning, Drew snickers loud enough for the speakers to pick it up  and the brunette fights the urge to hit her head against the steering wheel when Paige lets out a dramatic gasp. 

“OH MY GOD ARE YOU WITH ANOTHER GIRL. ON MY BIRTHDAY?”

“No Paige I am not with another girl-”

“Well it sounds like there’s a girl with you.”

Drew opens his mouth to protest, clearly agitated with his voice potentially being mistaken for a girl’s but Azzi’s quicker, immediately clamping a hand over his mouth. 

“I am not with-”

“Wait. Why did that voice sound so familiar?” Paige asks and Azzi can picture her scrunching her nose through the phone, “it can’t be any of the girls. I think I saw all of them in their apartments while I was looking for you but it sounds so-”

“It’s no one,” Azzi says hurriedly, “I’m just picking up something for your birthday.”

“I don’t want anything for my birthday,” Paige grumbles, “just wanted to wake up to my beautiful gorgeous girlfriend but no, you couldn’t just let me have that.”

A soft blush, tinted with hues of you make my imperfection feel perfect, creeps up Azzi’s cheeks as Drew teasingly waggles his eyebrows at her, “I promise I have something even better for you.”

“What could possibly be better than morning se-”

“Celebratory cuddles. Right yes what could be better than morning celebratory cuddles,” Azzi babbles, ignoring the weird look Drew gives her as she tries to prevent them from falling in the ditch her girlfriend is unknowingly about throw them into, “oh my won’t you look at that, that sign has all the reasons I shouldn’t try to talk and drive.”

“Baby what? Are you having a stroke. That’s not a thing-

“Oh it totally is and I really have to hang up. Love you baby, see you soon!’

“Azzi-” a loud beep rings through Paige’s protests as Azzi rushes to cut the call, slumping back in her seat with a sigh. 

“Morning celebratory cuddles?” if she wasn’t so embarrassed she would laugh at the side-eye Drew shoots her, “y’all are so weird.”

“Watch it. I will send you back to Minnesota.”

“No you won't,” it’s uncanny how Drew has Paige’s exact smile as he goofily grins at her, “you love Paigey way too much to do that to me.”

Azzi rolls her eyes fondly, “yeah maybe just a little bit.” 

There’s peaceful silence in the car for a while as Drew leans back in his seat, looking thoughtfully out the window. Azzi feels excitement bubble in her stomach in anticipation for Paige’s reaction to seeing her little brother. For as long as she’s known her girlfriend, she’s always known just how special Drew is to her; he’d been more a child to her than a brother and although it hasn’t been that long since Paige has seen him, Azzi could still hear the wistfulness in her voice every night she’d said good-bye to him on the phone. She feels giddy just knowing that seeing Drew again will put that earnest, loving smile she loves so much on Paige’s face. That smile, Azzi thinks, might just be the reason her world keeps turning. 

“Hey Azzi?” Drew says slowly, “can I ask you something?”

“Course you can kid. You can ask me whatever you want,” Azzi reaches out to squeeze the little boy’s hand as he fidgets in his seat. 

“Do you-” he hesitates, sucking in a deep breath, “do you think two people can stay together forever?”

Azzi’s taken aback by the gravity of the question, not having expected to deal with heavy-hitting ones like this so early in the morning. And really the truth is Azzi doesn’t know how to answer this question. It’s the kind of question her own brain conjures up sometimes and she has to distract herself from the way it makes her heart constrict because what if two people can’t stay together forever?

“That’s a heavy question,” she says finally, “where’s this coming from?”

Drew shrugs and his tone teeters on the edge of defensiveness when he answers, “just some things I think about sometimes.”

“I don’t know,” she says carefully, “I’d like to think some people can. I mean my parents have been together for a really long time and I’d like to think they’ll stay together forever.”

“How about you and Paigey?” Drew prods. 

There’s an answer of yes that tastes like asphalt on the top of Azzi’s tongue and so much of her wants to spit it out and have that be the answer she gives Drew. But there are these uneasy shackles of uncertainty, of what if’s, of who knows what the future could do to us, that stops her. And she doesn’t know why she’s so scared of saying yes. Because if she’s honest with herself Azzi can’t really fathom a forever without her girlfriend; not when sometimes it feels like instead of a heart, it’s Paige that beats rhythmically against her ribcage. 

“I really, really hope so,” she whispers. 

“Azzi,” Drew’s voice is coated in sincerity and the brunette hums in response, “you won’t ever hurt my Paigey will you?”

And there it is again, the unpredictability of what could happen next that’s beginning to feel a little suffocating. She wants to give Drew a resounding no because Azzi would rather drive a dagger through her skin before letting Paige get so much as a paper cut but life is so fickle and she’s scared of making a promise she can’t keep. So she makes one that she swears she can. 

“I promise that I will try my absolute best not to hurt your Paigey.”

***

May 2033 

“Well,” Drew Bueckers sneers, his tone filled with contempt as he takes in the way Paige, Azzi and Stephie are practically wrapped into each other, don’t you guys just look so fucking cozy.”

There’s a sinister tension-filled quiet as the three adults -god it’s weird to include Drew as an adult but Azzi supposes that that’s what he is now- look between each other. 

“Umm you owe me a kiss,” Stephie cuts into the silence.

“What?” Drew scrunches his face at the little girl. 

“You said a bad word,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “and Mama says whenever someone says a bad word around me, they have to give me a kiss. So Miss Buecks,” Drew's eyes narrow at the nickname as the little girl lightly taps Paige’s shoulder, “can you turn around and move closer so he can give me a kiss?”

“You don’t, you don’t have to do that-” Azzi tries to intervene. 

“Yes he does Mama,” Stephie interupts her indignantly, “rules are rules right?’

“Stephie-”

“Rules are rules,” it’s Drew who cuts Azzi off this time, his previously stoic face morphing into something warmer as he takes a step closer to her daughter and presses his lips against her turned cheek, “there you go. Am I forgiven for saying a bad word now?”

Stephie grins up at him and Azzi feels a wave of this is how it always should have been pinching at her heart she watches the two of them. 

“You’re forgiven but you have to promise not to do it again.”

“I don’t make promises like that kid,” there’s an unspoken accusation as Drew keeps up a smile towards Stephie but his eyes dart for the briefest second towards the two women around him, “but I promise I’ll try.”

“Okay,” Stephie accepts happily as she reaches over Paige’s shoulder to press her own lips against Drew’s cheek. 

“What was that for?’ he asks a little dazedly. 

Stephie shrugs, “because I think I’m gonna like you.”

“Drew,” Paige whispers finally, gently letting the little girl off of her shoulders, “what are you- what are you doing here?”

“What? A guy can’t just come visit his sister anymore?” there’s an unfamiliar hard edge to Drew’s voice -a stark contrast from how he’d been with Stephie- that makes Azzi flinch. 

“Of course he can but I just- you didn’t- you didn’t tell me you were coming,” Paige presses. 

“Well we've been talking about me coming down for a while but it just hasn’t happened and so I thought- I thought why not just come surprise you but-” Drew purses his lips as he gestures to the trio in front of him, “I think I might be the one who’s surprised.”

“Drew-”

“Actually you know what no,” he clenches his jaw, voice dripping with barely controlled anger, “I’m actually not surprised. Not surprised at all. Because really this- this is exactly what I should have expected from the two of you.”

“Maybe,” Azzi nibbles at her bottom, “maybe we should go-’

“NO,” both Stephie and Paige yell out in tandem as the little girl immediately clutches onto the blonde’s thighs. 

“I don’t wanna go. Miss Buecks tell Mama I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re staying right here with me,” Paige reassures the little girl as she turns her gaze back to Azzi, “you’re not going anywhere okay?”

“Paige-”

“I asked you to stay tonight and you’re going to stay. End of discussion,” Paige says firmly and Azzi lets out a reluctant sight. 

“You asked her to stay? As in stay the night? Oh my god,” Drew scoffs maliciously. 

“Drew,” there’s a warning tone in Paige’s voice as she deattaches herself from Stephie, keeping her voice low, “not right now okay?”

Her brother rolls his eyes, grunting out a “whatever,” but listening to his older sister like he always had and suddenly Azzi feels nostalgic for the little boy she had once known. 

“You’re so tall,” she blurts out, grimacing slightly when he turns to her with a frown. 

“Excuse me?”

“I mean I knew that. I’ve seen some of your highlights and I knew I mean- I knew you were taller and that you’ve gotten bigger and that you’d look stronger and all of that but I just-” Azzi gulps between her babbling, “you just- you look different Drew.”

There’s a shine of warmth in Drew’s gaze for a second but it flickers away faster than it had appeared and his eyes are cold with flecks of betrayal as he looks at Azzi, “that’s what happens as people get older isn’t it? I wouldn’t look so different to you if you’d been around to see me grow up.”

There’s venom laced in every word and Paige immediately opens her mouth to argue with him, but Azzi wraps a hand around her wrist to stop her. Because even if the words seep into her skin and infect it with bruises of guilt and regret, Azzi thinks she probably deserves them. She’d been in Drew’s world for so long and then one day, she just hadn’t been. She thinks he probably could have spewed something even more poisonous and she just might have deserved that too. 

“Are you sleeping over too, Uncle Drew?” Stephie asks softly, unaffected by the tenseness of the adults around her. 

“Uncle Drew?” Drew asks slowly. 

Stephie nods with a grin, “Miss Buecks called you Drew and that’s when I figured it out. Mama and Miss Buecks have told me stories about you and there’s some pictures of you from when you were littler at Nana and Pop's house,” she rambles and Drew’s eyes soften at the idea of Stephie knowing of his existence, “ and just in case you don’t know who I am even though you should,” she gives him a pointed look as if everyone should know who the little girl is, “I’m Stephie. And you’re my Miss Buecks’s brother so that means you’re my Uncle Drew.”

“Right that um-” Drew clears his throats, “that makes sense Stephie.”

“So Uncle Drew, are you sleeping over too?”

“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.”

“YAY!” Stephie squeals as she laces her fingers through Drew and begins to pull him towards the front door, “so Uncle Drew what’s your favorite pizza topping?”

Something wonderful flutters in Azzi’s chest as she watches the two of them interact -it’s a little bit like seeing the past and present harmonically blend into one- but despite that, despite the reassurance that Paige squeezes against her hand, there’s an uneasiness lingering in the back of her mind. That wretched but familiar fear of the future weaves itself through her heart. Between the frostiness from Drew and whatever secret Paige is keeping from her, Azzi can’t help but wonder if these last couple of weeks had simply been a mirage. She can’t help but wonder if this bubble of happiness that they’ve built is about to be burst by a needle of circumstance again. 

[mosswiind]

RANKING THE VEILGUARD COMPANIONS AS SPICY PARTNERS

This is definitively correct and I will not be accepting feedback.

In seventh and last place, we have our sweet boy Lucanis.

He's so into you. Spite is at least the same amount of into you. Lucanis though, is wildly inexperienced. Dude blacked out seeing Rook of any gender without a top on. A single titty would put this man in the hospital.

As a person who has slept with a lot of people, enthusiasm does not always compensate for skill. Lucanis would be very sweet, and apologizing because this has literally never happened to him before.

In sixth, we have Bellara.

Bellara is wonderful! But, similar to Lucanis, she's pretty inexperienced, and not in a position to acquire more experience without Rook’s involvement. She did date Irelin, but Irelin also doesn't give "exciting spicy partner" vibes. I feel like she would be enthusiastic about figuring out what you both like! It would just take some time to get there. She would also be very open to using magical aids. Electrical magic? Hell yeah.

She's also absolutely a bottom and if that's a consideration for you, she would be very good at it.

In fifth, we have Harding.

Harding is one long conversation away from being down for some Actual Freak Shit. She's already down, she just doesn't know what to ask for.

HOWEVER. Harding has precisely zero game, so it may feel a little silly while y'all figure your stuff out.

It will be good, it will also be clumsy and sweet.

In fourth, Taash.

Taash is similar to Harding, but has more sexual experience. They are also a confirmed top. Those are rare! They are coded to feel like they're in their early twenties, and extremely athletic, so stamina would not at any point be an issue. I've seen some comments that their bluntness would be bad for dirty talk/having game - those people didn't have to take a minute to do some deep breathing after the Taamlok scene, and also do not have taste. Taash will break you in half in a good way. Taash is a capital T Top and honestly, I respect it.

In third, Davrin.

Davrin, in a different group, would be the top pick. He's cocky, confident, has game for days. He's not a snack, he's a meal, and he is very aware of that. In my experience, banging Extremely Hot Dudes can go one of two ways; it's either sex you will wake up thinking about ten years later, or it will be like, extremely mid. I have faith in his ability. He is also a top, but I feel like he would also be into another top so there's a Fight (America's Next Top Model theme plays).

Thrill of the chase, indeed.

In second, Emmrich.

I know Emmrich is a canonical sex god. I know a bunch of y'all are extremely horny for Dr. Hose Goat. He caught me on the back foot a couple of times.

I also understand that this is a community that is very into Hot Authority Figures Who Remind You To Drink Water. There's a top shortage. I know what you people are like. I get it.

In first, it's the internet's wife, Neve Gallus.

Neve reads people for a living. She's also hot, emotionally unavailable, and would rather make out than acknowledge she has Actual Human Feelings. She's so locked into everything going on around her that she knows what you want before you do.

She's also creative at problem solving - no good surface? No problem. Just...not her desk, probably. There's a lot of notes to get displaced, and she has a hard enough time with the wisps. She will not allow your dumb ass to be too horny for organization.

Also - frost magic for you sensory seekers, and the ability to slow down time. I feel like we're all on the same page about the possibilities.

Your brain will melt out of your ears. You will not be able to stand. For days, potentially.

She's also a switch, depending on the vibes presented.

Emotionally unavailable romantics will ruin your life.

[y-rhywbeth2]

To-do list for the inheritor of the newly re-established office of High Primate of Bhaal of the City of Baldur's gate, circa 1480-something: politics, re-establishing the faith and getting Bhaal more sorely needed worship. And because there's only so much entertainment you can get being a group of twitchy killers living under the sewers.

Negotiate terms with local government for freedom of religion (presumably a private audience with the Grand Dukes, maybe the Parliament of Peers, maybe both, idk) Negotiations will probably begin with a more diplomatic version of: "I apologise on behalf of my Father for that thing where he manifested an avatar and went on a murderous rampage through the streets just over a century after my siblings almost drowned the world - and this city specifically - in blood. But also, considering the power just illustrated I think it's fair to say that it's in the best interests of a quiet life and an easier clean up that you just give us our temple back and let us worship in exchange for assassination and spying work on your behalf." This being the usual arrangement with evil faiths, it is in fact a winning argument. You don't kill anybody who matters (so criminals, travellers nobody knows, the homeless, etc) and honestly nobody will consider it worth the time and resources to stop you anyway. -

Weaken the political hold of enemy faiths Ilmater, Lathander and Helm have an established presence in the city, and the Ilmatari have done well enough since 14th century to upgrade from a shrine to a temple. All three of those faiths are better established, more influential, and will oppose the growth and activity of a Bhaalist presence, for some strange reason, -

Re-establish ties with traditional allied faiths (such as they are) Bhaal's traditional allies were Loviatar, Talona, Bane, Myrkul, Mask and Hoar. While none of these faiths hold the same level of sway in the city their enemies do, they all have at least one shared enemy. -

Eliminate rival/dissenting thieves and assassin guilds and organisations. Maybe establish some. Don't expect to have the thieves guilds at your beck and call (Mask is their patron god, but Bhaal generally worked with him fine - and you'll be fighting the Sharrans for influence too) but do make a space for yourself in there and ensure they understand that patronage and cooperation is mutually beneficial. Assassins? They're Bhaal's and he and his worshippers are going to expect all killers for hire to be paying their dues to the Lord of Murder or expect a "cease and decease" regarding their attempts to profit off of his domain without paying him back. -

Acquire Temple holdings Most of a temple's wealth and influence is going to come from owning land and properties. All members of the clergy of pretty much all faiths are expected to go out and claim some. Unfortunately being out of the picture for a century+ means the temple has lost a lot of its original holdings, so you might need to start working on taking some from the other temples... -

Network, Infiltrate and Recruit Gods always need more worshippers, and that goes double for gods who've been dead for a long time. Serial killers need the law to play nice. It's time to remind the peasantry to pay their "don't murder me taxes" (known as "tithes" for legal purposes) and find the city's more murderous members - even many who'd proudly call themselves upstanding citizens may just desire the execution of certain criminals the law won't touch or can't catch - and seek sympathetic ears amongst the rich and powerful... and remove and replace those who aren't. There are plenty of people like unscrupulous younger children whose ear you might have if only you helped them remove the pesky barriers standing between them and control, known as their relatives. And then you have blackmail! Things like that. Remember to wash the blood off before attending any fancy wine tasting parties in estates and pavilions in the upper city. You want your faithful in the ranks of the city watch and the Fist sooner rather than later. -

Establish presence in the Undercellar As the local criminal underworld hub where the law dare not tread (unless they're off duty and here for some crime themselves) this is where a lot of your "public" work and contracting is going to be. Remember to buy one of the back rooms for the "private shows". -

Consider a Daytime Identity, if you don't already have one An important part of being a typical Bhaalist is maintaining a separate, normal life outside the temple that allows you your own income and solid alibies... or you could just live in your dad's house, cling to your divine status and refuse to do any of that mortal stuff, I guess. -

Start repairs on the Temple It's been a dusty, out of date ruin for 100+ years. Consider the structural damage. Maybe have the butler do a bit of dusting.

[nerdanel01]

Emmrook at the Opera

In honor of Sylvia confirming Emmrich’s occasionally into a “bold Orlesian opera” (one of the most exciting things to ever happen to me), I wanted to put together this little post on resources for anyone who might be curious about the genre, or want to incorporate it into their fic writing.

It’s going to be a little USA-heavy because I do, unfortunately, live in the land of hamburgers and assault rifles, but the silver lining is that I also live in the country that created this:

The Metropolitan Opera House in NYC has to be one of the largest opera houses in the world, at least partially because of the fact that it was built much more recently than many of the old ones. When it’s full, it fits over four thousand people in it. I once took a tour of the backstage with one of my best friends who told me, partially in jest, “Wow, I’ve never seen you look at your boyfriend the way you’re looking at this building.” I broke up with that boyfriend like a year later, but the Met is my love for life. I love the red velvet on the walls and the seats. I love the giant Marc Chagall paintings. I love the sputnik chandelier. I love the peeling gilt gold on the ceilings, which I often have a perfect view of from my seats in the nosebleeds. The Met is my boo. 

Onto the resources!

If you just want to watch a movie that FEATURES opera but is not specifically an opera:

Moonstruck - Cher tries to invite her fiance’s brother (Nicholas Cage) to her wedding. Can you imagine what happens to Cher and Nicholas Cage next. Features the both of them on a date at the Met Opera (my beloved!) and excerpts from La Boheme. One of my all time fave movies, I identify deeply with Cher’s grandfather in the film. 

Falling for Figaro is a pretty cute romcom about a finance chick who quits her job to pursue her dream of becoming a soprano. 

And listen like the singing in Phantom of the Opera (2004) is. Not great. (I’m sorry Gerard Butler, I loved you when I was twelve.) But the opening sequence of the rolling camera pulls through the opera house as the overture plays will haunt me for the rest of my life. 

If you’ve never seen an opera before, and want to watch one (either online or in person), I recommend starting with one of these:

La Boheme - One of the most popular operas, period. Also, it’s literally RENT. Beat for beat, from ‘will you light my candle’ to ‘la vie boheme,’ it’s RENT, just sung in Italian and set in Paris. (Spoilers, the ending in the opera is more tragic.)

L’Elisir D’Amore - If you like Agnes and Emmrich because you enjoy watching two idiots who are obviously in love with each other pine for each other, this is a good one. Very sweet. One of my faves.

The Barber of Seville - I think this one is very approachable if you think of it as a comic version of Sweeney Todd, if Sweeney had no tragic backstory and Jamie was a young noble. It’s a romance, shenanigans are had, and Largo al Factotum is one of the biggest bops of all time. 

My personal favorites also include Akhaten, La Fille Du Regiment, Le Nozze di Figaro, and Turandot, but your mileage may vary with these—Akhnaten is very contemporary, productions of Turandot sometimes feature some pretty heckin’ yikes orientalism. 

If you want to listen to opera music:

WQXR is NYC’s Classical Music Station. In addition to their regular classical music stream (which is also very good) they have a separate stream of just opera music called Operavore. (I also love New Sounds, but the streams vary wildly and its definitely an acquired taste.)

The Met broadcasts a series of live Sunday radio transmissions every year starting in the spring, available online and also via WQXR.

The Chicago Lyric Opera has a bunch of their live streams archived online.

I have also made a playlist where I’ll be adding all the songs featured in my Emmrook fics. :)

If you want to watch an opera stream online:

OperaVision

There’s this incredible list from OperaWire

But there’s also this site, where you can find pretty much anything

The Met also has it’s own paid streaming service, which is SPENSIVE on the subscription model, but if there’s something you really want to see and can’t find elsewhere, they allow you to rent single titles for $4.99 each.

I do strongly recommend, if you have any interest at all and have the opportunity, to go see an opera in person. For me it makes such a difference to be there in person, and it’s not as expensive as you might think! Plus, since opera is a dying art and opera houses are desperate for new audiences (at least, in America) there are usually a number of discounted ticket programs. (Again, the list below is super USA centric, I’m so sorry—and of those below, I’ve only been to the Met myself.)

The Metropolitan Opera is the biggest opera company in the US in terms of literally the number of operas they put on a year. Other than a brief break in February, the opera is pretty much in session 5 nights a week, from October through the end of May. 

Family Circle. I love the family circle. I’ve spent so much time in the Family Circle. The acoustics ARE genuinely better up here than they are in other parts of the house, and depending on the opera, tickets in the Family Circle typically go between $26-45 dollars each.

Rush Tickets are available every day online—these are usually seats in the orchestra. I can’t remember exactly but I think these are always $25. 

If you’re feeling ~opulent and looking for a very special date night, the Met also runs a program called Fridays Under 40. It’s a special priced Orchestra ticket for people under 40. Many of the dates also include little parties where they usually have photo booths, charcuterie, etc., and opportunities to meet some of the cast.

The Detroit Opera offers student rush tickets, although it looks like you have to be at the box office in person to get them. 

The Chicago Lyric Opera has discounts for students and 50% off rush tickets.

The San Francisco Opera has a great offer for first-time opera attendees who live in the Bay Area - $20 for two great seats

The L.A. Opera also offers student rush discount tickets, and $30 tickets for attendees under 30 years of age.

I am not aware of any discounts for the Santa Fe Opera but it looks so cool and it’s on my bucket list to go one day <3

Dallas Opera offers student discounts and discounts for attendees 21-45 (although it looks like they’re aksing for a membership fee for the 21-45 program—boooo Dallas Opera)

Not super clear on the specifics, but Houston Grand Opera also offers some kind of Under 40 discount on select performances

Opera Philadelphia, which recently appointed my all-time-favorite opera singer Anthony Roth Constanzo as their director, offers $10 rush tickets and student discounts

Tips for your first time at the opera, if you do go:

A thing I did not know before I started going to the opera is that even though they are sung in foreign languages, there are almost always subtitles. At the Met, these are transmitted to the chair back in front of you and available in a variety of other languages. Other houses often project the titles above or at the side of the stage.

If you don’t want to read and listen at the same time, synopses are almost always available in your program or ahead of time.

The food and drink is expensive and almost always not worth it. When I go to the Met with my friends, I regularly bring in alcohol minis as well as little cheese/meat/fruit plates in tupperware in my purse. We eat these outside the theater at intermission. No one has every batted an eye at me. (Mileage may vary at other theaters.)

I know opera has a Reputation, and I definitely was a little worried at first that I would look out of place and people would be snide to me. I have never found this to be the case. The only reason someone will be an asshole to you is if you have your phone out or are talking during the performance—don’t do that. Keep it in your pocket until intermission and silence your notifications. 

Crawl into my dms to talk to me about opera at any time, I will happily yap your ear off

[vikdec4i]

from all the vikdecai analysis/commentary i have read, i find this commonality: what i know of vikdecai has strictly been through the eyes of mordecai and mordecai alone. which is so strange because, i mean it takes two to tango and there’s another party people seem to overlook. VIKTOR HIMSELF!!!

like yes, i believe as a raging aro that viktor is not one for romance either. i just think he lacks that attraction and vikdecai is very far from that cookie cutter relationship type beat (idk what the hell i just said but you catch my wave)

it’s funny because, vikdecai has been the only ship (so far, in my eyes at least) that captures how i perceive love. i personally like calling it schrodinger’s romance: it’s both there and not there. moreso because i see their connection being so deep that it does not exist beyond the both of them. it is something that only they exclusively share with one another.

and i think this holds more truth with viktor’s side of the whole ordeal. while one may read it as unrequited on mordecai’s part— i see it as, YALL DONT GET VIKTOR THE WAY I DO /J

okay i kid. but really, i do think he cares. just not in a way that’s easily digestible or distinguishable in the naked eye. but i think i need to stick my thoughts back in the oven to cook a bit longer because it’s truly flying all over the place and some bits of the dish is missing— but i promise i will get to the bottom of it!!

look as much as i love vikdecai, i find it hard to visualise them in a lovey dovey, “let’s have breakfast in bed every morning” setting. but that’s also why they’re so special to me. it’s special to me how they can hold a conversation without any words being said. it’s also very special to me that, despite viktor being a walking accumulation of everything mordecai hates, mordecai still holds him in high regard.

not to highbrow/lowbrow the act of shipping two fictional characters but vikdecai is a very nuanced case and it definitely is an acquired taste— i can see why they’re not many people’s cup of tea. only one can say love is forcibly threatening your ex partner into retiring through the act of kneecapping but hey, that’s the vikdecai way baby!!!!

[anxious-acorn]

I Turned The Corner 🔞

(A companion to Black Coffee)

Summary :

The Radio Demon enjoys his life for the most part. He’s set up shop at Princess Morningstar’s pet project, the Hazbin Hotel (Haha! He named it), and has been enjoying watching the residents flail about in search of connection. Unfortunately one day, Angel Dust brings a certain picture show to ‘show and tell’ and well..

Chapter 1: Wherein the Radio Demon Acquires a Kink

If you haven’t read Black Coffee yet, you should be fine- you may just miss out on some context and it’s from the reader’s perspective instead of Al’s. So this idea is what made me start writing Black Coffee. Like, what if Alastor watched consensual torture porn? I think he’d be like hey can I get in on that? Well, minus the porn part.

“Ah, my good fellow! A fine evening, isn’t it?” The Radio Demon was accustomed to the shaking terror he induced, and it never failed to make the sinister smile that adorned his face spread wider. The large rhinoceros trembled as he stuttered out a greeting, and Alastor bent in front of the display with a hum.

“Tell me, do you happen to have any venison in today? I just love the flavor!”

“Y-yes sir! I just received a fresh shipment this morning! What cut and weight would you like?”

The laughter and track that burst forth only served to scare the butcher even more. “I’ll take it all, my friend. No need to worry about cut,” he clarified, and the rhino’s face lit up. “Yes sir! I have two unprocessed bucks, if that works for you.”

Alastor’s crimson eyes narrowed in delight- his favorite! He heard the squeak the butcher let out and fixed his face to be more pleasant. It wouldn’t do to terrify his source of meat. “Splendid! I’ll take them!”

He snapped the carcasses into his stasis dimension and handed over his money before bidding the butcher a pleasant evening. As he turned he noticed a small demon opening the door and he reached for the handle to hold it open for her.

“Excuse me, my dear,” he spoke, grinning down at the canine. Definitely not his favorite species- but a favorite to collect the skulls and pelts of. What surprised him though was her reaction, or lack thereof to be more specific. Oh sure, her eyes widened in recognition, but she smiled back at him! Oh, that little pup wouldn’t be smiling so sweetly at him if she knew what he did to demons like her.

“Pardon me, sir. Have a lovely evening.”

Well, canine or not, at least the pretty dear had manners- he supposed he could spare this one. Besides, the little demon was obviously of fairer means. She wasn’t to his tastes.

“And to you, my dear,” he replied before walking out, his steps giddy in anticipation of the lovely dinner and breakfast he would have.

———————-

———————

“Fine! I guess I’ll just have ta fuck the information outta ya!”

“Do your worst… Daddy.”

Ugh, it would seem that wretched spider was deeply misunderstanding the assignment of ‘show and tell’. Alastor’s smile faltered as he waited for the adult picture show to finish or be turned off before walking into the lobby. He stayed in the hallway and listened gleefully to Husker list off everyone’s personal faults until Angel’s baiting flirt set the feline off.

Alastor decided it was safe to enter to enjoy the unfolding drama and seated himself across from Nifty, who looked far too entertained by the picture box. ‘Just don’t look, at least the speaker is turned off.’

His thoughts were interrupted by an aggravated, but excited Angel Dust waving a disc in his face. Holding a gloved hand up to get the spider to back away, his head cocked in confusion.

“I bet this one’s right up your alley, Smiles!” Angel winked playfully and Alastor had to fight to keep his smile on. The thought of enjoying anything produced by the spider was laughable, but not something he would entertain.

“My friend, I can assure you that if it involves… human interest, that I have no interest in viewing-“

Angel had already inserted the disc, and the video began playing. Ears pinning down in disgust, Alastor looked away as his eyes narrowed. He hated his wishes being ignored, especially when it came to such intimate matters. For something that everyone else seemed to hold so sacred, they sure were eager to thrust it onto others.

“You once said that you would do anything to fulfill my desires… Is… that still true?”

An ear twitched and swiveled to the picture box as his curiosity got the better of him. He knew that voice from somewhere, but who was it?

“Of course babydoll. What, you want me to kill someone for you?” Huh, now if murder is the theme, that he could get behind! The feminine voice giggled and as his eyes locked on the screen, his features froze.

“As much as I love to see your bloodlust, darling, I was thinking maybe…” The demon he saw at the butcher shop a few weeks ago was playing shy with the spider, pressing her fangs into her finger as she blushed and looked away. Alastor cocked his head, raising an eyebrow in question at Angel and the spider waved for him to just keep watching as he went to sit down. Rolling his eyes, Alastor turned back to the screen.

“What’s your desire, sweetheart?” Angel asked his costar, and Alastor had to admit he was impressed with the spider’s acting skills. If he’d not known better, he would think Angel was genuinely in love with the woman. ‘She certainly is a lovely creature.’ The thought surprised him slightly- it was rare that he considered people beautiful, and even then it was in the way one would consider a work of art beautiful. He had never been interested in holding another in the way people so often wanted to be held. He’d stopped with that farce once he’d landed in Hell.

“W-Will you flay me?” The woman scrunched her eyes closed in embarrassment, a cute blush flaring against her cheeks. Okay, so not murder, but color Alastor officially interested. An audible crack sounded as his head turned to look at Angel behind him.

“Is this one of Valentino’s funny ideas?” There was a burning pain in his gut as he did his best to remain chipper. There was no way this actress was filming something like this willingly.

The sound of Angel’s laughter filled the lobby, and Alastor felt a chill run down his spine. “No way! Even Val is scared of Vixen!” The spider devolved into a fit of laughter, confusing the radio demon even further as he turned back to watch the scene play out.

“Vixy, wha- what are you saying? I can’t skin you; I could never hurt you!” Angel cupped her face and pet her hair gently as she looked down ashamed.

“I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t mean to upset you. I… I was just thinking out lou-“ Angel crashed his lips against his costar (Vixen? Vixy? One of those) and rolled his hips against her in a way that had Alastor cringing before he spoke.

“If that’s what you really want, you have to tell me why,” Angel growled his line and the actress moaned out her response as if it were her deepest yearning. “I want to see you wear my pelt,” that sweet voice sent his blood to rushing as he stared intently at the demure actress. A vixen, that’s what she was.

“The thought of you surrounded in my fur… It makes me want to pull you so deep inside me you never leave.” Oh, sweet Satan that sounded just delicious coming from those luscious obsidian lips.

An uncomfortable warmth bloomed in his lap, and Alastor clenched his hand over his cane, crimson gaze narrowing at the screen as the scene played on. This was something he’d not felt since his human life, and even then he’d never felt such an urge in response to erotic pictures or shows. It was simply biology- a filthy need to be quickly taken care of and forgotten. Even his rut season was just a foul mood. This… this was new. He didn’t know what to do with this information, filing the thought away for later examination.

“Fuuuck… Well, when you put it that way, how can I deny you?” Alastor had to agree with Angel’s line, crossing his legs as he did his best to relax his posture and leaned on his knuckles.

“Uhhhh, Angel? Are we watching a snuff film?” Vaggie asked as she held Charlie.

“Of course not! Snuff films are all about unwilling murder victims. Vixy came to me wanting her pelt removed.” Angel grinned slyly, and Alastor heard Vaggie groan out in frustration. His attention was focused solely on the dancing vixen as she gave the camera a strip show. Her blood red tail swished with her large hips, her hands trailing up her curves to lift and flair out her long white hair. He was transfixed.

He didn’t know when Angel left, or when Charlie followed- his eyes never left the bloody scene playing on the picture box. The little vixen had transformed into an actual fox, and was sitting still, completely conscious and focused on Angel as he cut into her flesh; slowly but surely, he pulled the lovely pelt from her muscles. Her screams were genuine and primal, obviously painful. So why did she ask for this? It certainly didn’t seem pleasurable to her. And why film it? Well, that question was answered easily enough- for profit, of course!

His day flashed by as he considered his reaction to the picture show. Would he watch it again to see if he could replicate the feelings it elicited? Did he want to feel that way again?

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Alastor picked up his pace as he ran through his bayou dimension, tackling the earth buck he’d spirited away and sank his fangs into the flesh. He couldn’t get that little vixen out of his head- the sweet way she asked to be flayed alive and her moaned out reasoning, the eerie music of her animal screams.

He shredded his meal as he consumed the deer, blood spraying across his suit- no matter, he was very good at cleaning up after himself. When finished with his food, that hunger still nagged at him, and he slammed his fist into any tree he could find. Why did that wretched spider have to show him that stupid picture show? Why did he decide to watch it? He could’ve just shadowed out, walked away, destroyed that damnable box!

He hadn’t wanted to though. And damn it all, he actually wanted to watch it again! Even better, he wanted to offer that lovely creature that starred in it a deal to be her butcher- what he would give to rip that lovely fur from her as she screamed for him.

Wait… what would she want if he offered such a deal? What if she wanted romantic or sexual intimacy in exchange? Money, he could do, a few souls perhaps, but that? He knew he was considered attractive to the local cannibettes, and he was more than confident in his ability to satisfy, but just the thought of having to have relations just to be able to rip off some flesh… Well, he supposed that deal would be equally painful for each party. ‘You know you want to rip her apart in more ways than one,’ his shadow chittered at him, wicked grin spread wide.

What was it, exactly, that he wanted? He may have felt a fleeting desire, but what would he feel when face to face with the vixen once again? ‘Especially after seeing every delectable part of her body.’ Ugh, best not to think of that- she was probably used to rabid fans gandering at her.

He needed to kill something. He needed to rip flesh apart and crush bones. With a roaring bellow, his claws slashed at the bark of a felled tree as his form began to grow and contort. He needed to release this energy, and there were only so many animals that fell through his earth traps. If it weren’t for the constraints of his soul contract, he’d have no problem finding wretched souls to slaughter.

Alastor stalked toward another felled tree, his sinister aura darkening the environment around him. Wrapping large hands around the trunk, he snarled and crushed every piece until nothing remained but dust.

He just needed patience. With time, he would forget about the god-forsaken picture show. It was times like this he wished he felt the need to sleep. As the hours passed, the eldritch horror stalked through the shadows of his bayou in search of more prey. For the night is long and filled with terrors, and this terror was fucking hungry.

[illicien]

What drew you to winterbaron as a ship? What kind of content do you read? Is it different from the kind of content you write? Would you like to rec a few winterbaron works? My friend is into the ship and I'm trying to see if it's something I might like but all the fics they've recked me are kind of the same in tone so I'm looking for others opinions for some variety.

Hmm! I've sort of answered some of this in the past so sorry to my moots getting this rehash.

A friend of mine dragged me into WinterBaron (kicking and screaming!!!) rather simply, actually, though what kept me here was the more grand implications of her simple origins. I'm kind of a sucker for a true power bottom, and fanart my friend kept sending me implied the fandom saw Zemo as such, and I was at least a little bit intrigued there. Enough to take a deeper look, at least.

The better discovery wasn't that the fandom had decided he was a power bottom, but that there was a strong push and pull of power in their dynamic. Bucky has all the physical power between them, it's a big thing, he's strong as hell. On the other hand, Zemo is just a guy, and yet despite that Bucky should logically have all the power between them, Zemo's intelligence and knowledge tend to leave him with an edge. That continues to be the fascinating concept about Zemo to me, but that's a different matter.

So for me, it's the manipulation, the push and pull of power, it's Bucky trying to break free of being the Winter Soldier and Zemo trying to decide if Bucky's just like every other super soldier. But it's also about understanding that Zemo knows Bucky in ways most people alive don't. He knows and understands Bucky's history as the Winter Soldier both through his research, and as a man who did horrific things on behalf of his country. And that thought can sometimes lead to softer moments of understanding, I think, that can be enjoyable in fic.

As for content I read vs write: I generally gravitate towards dark fic with these two, though there's plenty of really good stuff that isn't. There are some excellent explorations of kink in the fandom for them which is refreshing. I don't really write them as dark as I read them, since I enjoy writing the power dynamics more than the overt manipulation, but if you're looking for more tonal variety I'm sure I can make some recommendations! (Under the cut!)

** Please make sure you read all of the tags thoroughly. What I enjoy in fiction may not be to your taste, and I respect that, but the best I can do is to link to the site with the tags. 💜

Recs (under 20k words)

Just A Little More by @six-demon-bag epitomizes a lot of what I've said above, and if I didn't start out with it on the list here I'd be doing myself a disservice for how often I reread this.

Bucky goes into a painful rut and Zemo seizes the opportunity to sink newer, more subtle hooks into him.

Breathless by @zsparz is one I like to return to whenever I'm looking to feel sad but don't have a lot of time to read. I can't explain why this one hits me so hard but holy smokes does it make me weepy. Sparz is great at making me cry, though, so like - anyway.

The water kept rising. Bucky could hold his breath a long time underwater, and he remembered vividly how he’d acquired that knowledge. Sam might find him in time.

But Zemo would be long dead by then.

Past Indiscretions by @sagegarnish makes me laugh, genuinely. The whole idea of it brings me a lot of joy, and the execution is delightful.

Bucky and Zemo are trapped in 1941.

Unfortunately Bucky's past self is the only one who might know where the missing Pym Particles are that they need to get home.

When young!Bucky pulls Zemo into an alley, Bucky is forced to watch as a drunken forgotten night from his past becomes a lot clearer.

Recs (20k+ words)

That Which You Fear by @spintwinwb is a trilogy that starts off feeling like an AU and turns into something really fascinating imo. Lots of extra goodies here for comics fans, too.

Instead of freeing the people of Westview, Wanda pushed out across multiverses to get her brother back, and the entire world was caught in the crossfire. Cast in a new, peaceful life in upstate New York in a world with mutants, no Avengers, and no HYDRA, Bucky Barnes struggles to reconcile memories and dreams that no longer make sense with what he thinks he knows about himself.

One Two Many by @six-demon-bag is sweet and fun and complicated, and I really did try not to double-up on authors here but agh. What am I supposed to do??

Bucky and Zemo meet on an anonymous dating app and find a deep connection in each other. In the meantime, they grow closer in person without realizing they’re falling in love online too.

Too Good To Be True by AnadoraBlack is really one of those fics where the tropes are used so well, imo. A very enjoyable read.

Bucky wakes up with no recollection of where he is, how he found himself there, and what the heck is going on. There's also a ring on his finger, and time lost. What the living FUCK?!

The Original Sin by @zsparz because I might as well completely fail at the "only one per author" in spectacular fashion. This sits here because it sits on a very peculiar line between canon and AU and just... like I said. Sparz makes me cry. This isn't a departure from that fact.

Bucky and Zemo keep meeting over the course of several lifetimes. Zemo remembers everything. Bucky doesn’t, but there’s an eerie impression of familiarity he can’t shake — an old pain he can’t explain, with roots too deep for him to reach.

AU Recs

Removing Bucky and Zemo from the context of their complicated history in the MCU can highlight different aspects of their characters that are really interesting to explore, as someone who finds their unique characters quite interesting as well, though I also know it isn't for everyone. Neither of these recs are short so if you don't mind an AU, set some time aside for these ones.

It Started Out With a Curse by Thorny is a fun AU I never really expected to find in this fandom. I personally have a history of writing in fantasy settings so this one has a special place in my heart.

What happens when the King and Queen of a human kingdom slight a powerful fae Lord known only as "The Baron"?

Enter a world of FairyTale/Fantasy Shenanigans as Prince James navigates his deadly curse and his confusing feelings for one (seemingly) cold and untouchable fae Lord. Meanwhile, something sinister is afoot trying to gouge a rift between the feywilds and the human kingdoms...

A Gentleman and a Scholar by EternalBeta is a no powers exploration of their dynamic that's... Beautiful. It also tackles a lot of things about kink that it feels like most fic and stories generally seem to ignore. There's also an amazing sequel series.

(this series doesn't have an easy summary available so I uh... I'll give it a go here: college student Bucky has a thing for his professor, and a whole series of bad decisions behind him. The trouble is, Bucky is impatient, and Professor Zemo doesn't fuck students. So Bucky better hurry up and graduate.)

Many of the writers above have at least a few WinterBaron fics, and I do highly recommend checking out their collections. Sparz and Six-Demon in particular have some really widely varied concepts and stories they tackle, and if you're curious at all I'd also recommend checking out Sholio who has some excellent Sam/Bucky/Zemo fics! I didn't toss recs here because they weren't the heart of the ask, but I gobbled those up easily for some very sweet treaties.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 27: All In The Same Basket

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Thud.

The door shuts and footsteps approach me. Thomas hasn’t been home all night and I don’t think twice about what happened. That bloody bastard. Of course he slept with her! May isn’t enough so he’s desperate enough to have a married woman! Perdition surely waits for him now.

“Morning,” I greet lightly when he walks in, bitterness hidden beneath. “Have some eggs.”

He looks even happier now. If I feel awful it’s my fault alone. I’m the one chaining myself to this, not him. 

“Do you plan to tell May?”

It’s asked so simply yet held with so much emotion. Thomas doesn’t ask how I know. 

“I do. I won’t string her hopes out.”

“At least you have the decency to do that,” I mutter.

“Grace mentioned New York,” Thomas says and I can tell what he’s thinking. “Said something about the people in Brooklyn being less friendly than the others. Know anything about that?”

I huff and all but throw the frying pan into the dish water. “No offense Thomas, but I do not bring my work home with me. I do not want your problems following me to my home. I simply requested that she stayed away.”

Instead of yelling Thomas stays calm. “Grace doesn’t mean any harm.”

“I know. She’s a nice person. But after the lies she told, I don’t want that in my life. The only way I will let this business into my life is if you agree to partner with my father.”

Have a taste of your own medicine, Thomas Shelby. How do you like it when someone pretends to care only for profit? Only instead of extracting sexual pleasures I am acquiring benefits for my family.

“I see.” Now his voice changes to the cold tone I remember. “He needs business just as much as I.”

I shake my head. “Prohibition hasn’t done well for my family. Capone only trades with the Italians and hates the Irish with a passion. If you partner with my family it would help a lot.”

“He’ll do it.”

We both look to see Polly standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

“Oh really, Pol?”

“You make a deal with her or Verena gets a 20% cut,” his aunt orders.

My eyes widen and I wave my hands. “No. No. We don’t accept handouts. We just want to sell whiskey. Even if it’s slightly illegal.”

“So you shall,” Thomas announces, looking between both of us with annoyment. “When do we draw the contract, eh?”

“After the race,” Polly says.

Right. The race. Another derby day full of crowds, gambling, and drinking. Just like the stories of the Sheepshead races Uncle Steenstra talks about. If John plays his cards right then Arthur will be joining us.

I finish putting the finishing touches on my makeup and yell out the door. “Ready, Finn?” 

A scampering noise gets closer and closer and Finn all but crashes into my room. He hastily adjusts his coat and stands to attention.

“As always,” he pants. “Maybe this time you can actually see the race. Nice hat.”

A lovely addition, if I do say so myself. Who knew Polly had such nice hats hidden in her closet? “I thought I’d dress for the occasion. Where’s this race?”

“In Epsom. I promised John I’d escort you to the meeting so you know the plan.”

“Is Ada coming?” I ask as I follow him to the door.

“Yeah, but Tommy’s meeting with her. Said it’s private.”

Don’t be mad. She’s his sister. You just work here. Forget all about Thomas and enjoy yourself for once.

Out in the street we see the cavalry has arrived and is waiting next to a covered truck. Along with John.

“Is Arthur meeting us there?” I ask.

“You tell me!” Arthur walks out from behind the truck, arms spread triumphantly.

My face breaks into a smile. “Arthur! You son-of-a-gun! How was prison?”

“Fucking Hell.”

Another man walks up and I recognize him from the horse sale Thomas took me to. A member of the Lees, I think. An odd man, wearing a patterned ascot.

“Johnny Doggs.” He tips his hat. “Ms. Steenstra. The boys and I must apologize for the last time you met us. Let it be known that today we’re all on the same side.”

Some of the Lees remove their hats while others give me friendly waves.

I give John a cheeky grin. “You told them to say that, didn’t you?”

The Shelby brother rolls his eyes. “They wanted to say sorry. Can we move on?”

“Here comes the boss,” Johnny points to someone behind me.

The handsome gangster struts towards us, cigarette in hand. Being surrounded by the Shelby brothers and Lees really helps distract from any previous emotions for him. It’s time to get my head in the game and be a valuable part of this team.

“There he is.” Thomas opens his arms and embraces his freed brother.

Arthur huffs. “You’re late.”

“I had business.”

“How the fuck did you get me out-a that?”

Thomas claps his shoulder. “I need you today, brother. Pulled some strings. You alright?”

Arthur’s frown is replaced with a grateful smirk. “I am now.”

“So he’s in charge now?” John asks.

“That’s right. And you two are in charge of him,” Thomas clarifies. Finn starts to object but gets cut off. “Finn, you don’t obey orders, you don’t come.” He turns to Johnny Doggs. “Will the Lees be there?”

“The Lees will be there, captain.”

Thomas squints. “Captain?”

“Aye, we promoted you. The boys decided you’re no longer like a sergeant major, fucking them fancy women and using those fancy words.”

I hide my laugh along with the rest of the men. This is hilarious! Thomas is getting joked on and I’m allowed to find it funny!

“Fine, but I’ll take it as a compliment,” Thomas complies. “Just don’t shoot me. Let’s go to the Derby, boys!”

He waves for them to jump in the truck but hesitates when he sees Finn helping me up.

“She’s coming too. I promised she could see a race,” John says.

He thinks for a second. “Very well. Stay in the back while we rally the others.”

Screw you, Thomas Shelby. I’m not waiting around for you to permit me to help. This American can’t be tamed by your charm.

“My God, this place is huge!” I marvel at the elaborate racetrack. “Where are the horses?”

“Over there.” Thomas points to a series of white tents. “You can come with me to see her, if you’d like.”

“Won’t say no to that!”

I don’t wait for him to catch up. This is what a real horse race is like? No wonder Thomas loves horses so much. He shows me to a tent and I spot May waiting inside next to a very sturdy speckled horse.

Thomas wastes no time and begins inspecting the animal. Brushing her coat and checking her eyes.

“Looks in fine shape. Hello hello hello. Kushti bok. Kushti bok, eh?” He murmurs to the horse. “Any troubles?” 

May, still with her arms crossed, shakes her head. “Not at all. Go, drink and enjoy the race. I’ll join later. It's fine, I’ll stay down here in the mud.”

Her words draw out a dose of sympathy from me. Oh, May. You got caught in this too. Unfortunately none of us will be the last to fall for him. We just need to pick up the pieces and move on-

Just then Thomas leans in and presses a kiss on her surprised lips. I take the time to wander off to the corner and inspect the other horses. After everything he still shows affection to any woman but me. And he- He left. He forgot I was even here.

“Sorry about that.” May walks over showing no hostility. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

I try to stay positive. “Hello, May. Lovely to see you again. Good news about the horse, I hope?”

She nods at the magnificent beast. “Grace’s Secret has done a wonderful job. She’s a very sturdy animal.”

Her words cause me to stop stroking her mane. “What’s the horse’s name?”

“Grace’s Secret.”

He’s still thinking about her. I can’t just say nothing. May deserves sympathy, rich or not.

“I’m sorry about…”

“About Thomas breaking off?” she fills in.

Quite witty. No wonder Thomas took to her. “Yes.”

May looks at me with an expression I can’t quite place. “I can see he treats you well. But you’re smart enough to keep him tamed. Keep up with that. You best get back to your party. I’ll be fine here.”

She waits for me to leave but I see no reason to. “No. They have their own business. I can stay here for company, if you wish.”

Her eyes soften at my kind gesture. “That’s gracious of you. Thanks.”

The announcer’s voice overhead says the race is about to begin. Where is the best spot to watch?  I look out and see Thomas standing on the steps with- With Grace. She came here. Of course she did. Wearing a nice pink dress with a matching hat. Looking how any woman wants to be with the man all women want.

“You alright?” May asks when she sees my pale face. “Thomas must be waiting-”

“He’s perfectly fine,” I grit my teeth. “He has plenty to occupy himself with.”

She sees where I’m looking. “It’s the other woman, isn’t it? The one sailing away?”

“One would think.”

Thomas leaves Grace at the bottom of the stairs and I spot Jerimiah sending Lizzie up to Thomas. That son-of-a-! He deals with literally any other woman. Anyone but me.

“He mentioned you once.”

May’s words shake me from my angry thoughts. “For what reasons?”

“Said you made him change his mind about Americans. About educated women. Personally I believe he thinks you’re too innocent for his business. Why stay?”

I keep watching Thomas until he disappears into a bar. “My father once said to me ‘Verena, life is too short to never take chances. With a little luck and the love of God, set your mind to do anything.’ After everything I’ve done here I can’t think of a place that would offer anything so… adventurous.”

May chuckles. “That’s Thomas, alright.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the race will begin in four minutes. Please be upstanding for the pledge.”

Oh, alright. I’ll respect the pledge of the people who dominated my own country. Why is May not watching?

“You don’t want to watch the race?”

May sits down on a haybale and avoids my gaze. “She’ll do fine.”

“And they’re off!”

There they go! What powerful beasts. So graceful and yet they can decapitate you with one kick.

“Come on, girl. You can do it,” May mutters.

Something else catches my eye. It’s Lizzie again. Leading a stranger away to the barn. Why is she going with…? I thought she gave up being- That man is armed. Oh no.

I keep my eyes on her and start walking out of the tent. “May, I have to go stop something.”

Walking. Jogging. Sprinting! Have to get through this crowd! Where’s Thomas? Arthur? Anyone?

“John!” Thank God! “Have a spare gun?”

He gives me a funny look. “You know guns aren’t allowed. Who says I’ve got one?”

“Please!” I ask urgently.

He takes off his hat and pulls out a small pistol. “Use it wisely.”

I snatch the weapon and weave back into the sea of people. Lord, help me find her! I know we don't always see eye-to-eye but she can be a good person! Don’t let me be too late-!

“Get the fuck off me!” Lizzie shrieks.

I turn the corner and find the uniformed man shoving her against the wall, the wood slicing into her skin.

I cock the pistol. “Step aside. Now!”

A hand from behind pushes me aside and Thomas steps up with his own gun. “Russel!”

The gun clicks but no bullet fires. The man groping Lizzie ducks down and barrels into Thomas, knocking my gun away in the process. I rush to Lizzie’s side and help her stand. She’s reaching for something- 

“It’s ok, Lizzie,” I whisper. “Give me the gun-!”

She shoves me over and tries to fire it herself. It misfires again.

“Tommy!” Lizzie screeches when the man tries to push his own gun against Thomas’ head.

Bang!

But it’s not Thomas who drops dead. It’s the man called Russel. His brains are painted everywhere.

“Where were you?! Where the fuck were you?!” Lizzie rages hysterically and points the defective gun at Thomas.

Death. I just saw someone get murdered. Life taken. I know it’s not my fault but why do I still feel a fraction of the blame? Could I have stopped it, or did he deserve to die? 

“Just go. Go!” 

Lizzie pushes away and storms back to the bleachers. 

“You too, Verena!”

Thomas grabs my hand but I don’t budge right away. How can I? There’s a fresh corpse right across from me.

“Verena.” He kneels in front of me and makes me look at him. “Darling, it’s alright now. You’re safe-”

“It’s not my safety I’m concerned about. It’s him.” I point to the corpse. “I could’ve stopped him, and now he’s dead.”

“I killed him. Not you.” He rips the gun from my limp hand. “What the fuck were you thinking, Verena?!”

“I thought I was helping! I’m sorry my feeble reaction is too soft for you but I’m not a bloody criminal!”

“You’ve kept above water this long! What happened?”

I gawk at his arrogant face. “Oh, like you’ve never made a mistake! You don’t see me rubbing your bad choices in your face.”

We both know what I’m referring to. 

“Get back to the others,” Thomas orders, still glaring straight at me.

Fine. Very well. Fine! I’ll leave you to get killed or whatever bloody plan you’ve got!

I pivot and march through the muddy stalls back to the roaring crowd. By now the coppers have caught on to the gun violence and are swarming everywhere.

I hurry past the group of Peaky Blinders and Arthur leans in to whisper: “Better duck, Steentra. ‘S about to get messy. Tommy’s about to meet with Sabini.”

Someone walks up behind and I see it’s May, now wearing a beautiful red dress. She seems distracted and points to someone in the crowd. “Who is that?”

John looks over and recognizes who she’s pointing at. “Grace. Tommy’s old flame.”

“I see. Have you known her, Verena?”

My eyes sharpen. “Briefly. She’s the one I saw with him earlier.”

“So we are all part of Tom’s basket of women, are we?” May comments.

I nod towards the table where Lizzie’s hunched over. “Lizzie’s in it too.”

More cops brush past and in the chaos I hear May whisper: “At least he hasn’t broken your heart yet.”

The mention of it makes my blood run cold. “Don’t speak too soon.”

May considers something and gets past me. “I’m going to go talk with her.”

“You’ll play nice?” I joke.

“No hostilities, just an introduction.”

“She may not be so gentle.”

@meadows5

[theroxian]

jordana apprentice au chapter 1

(well thats the name until i think of something better and shove this on ao3 (thanks ao3 for being difficult with the sign up omg))

after the tournament of sources a tired jordana, all out of options, seeks out the only person she believes she can help right her wrongs. The high sorceress of mysterium- though this new position offers her more than she could've ever anticipated.

“Alright dear, I may be getting a little slow on the uptake” the sorceress glanced up from her teacup, “but who exactly are you again?”

Jordana sighed, perhaps for the fifth time in the past minute. For someone so legendary, she had imagined the high sorceress of mysterium to be, more legendary? Her greatest feats, all her legendary spells, all reduced to this shabby old monastery. And maybe it was an acquired taste, but the place was a mess. Books strewn along shelves carelessly, half baked potions left in boxes, what looked to be a streak of rainbow glitter in the sorceress’s hair.

“My name is jordana. I come from Imperium and-”

“Imperium?” the sorceress interrupted. Again. “Isn't that the place with all the fancy, techy, sci-fi stuff? Why the hell are you in a place like this?”

“Well, I mean-” Jordana stuttered. But the question wasn't unfounded- what exactly was she doing in a place like this? Jordana wasn't a magician- at least not until recently. She didn't have the experience to be even in the mere presence of the high sorceress, did she? God, she was just wasting her time. The sorceress was going to figure her out. Jordana knew it. She would be kicked to the curb again. Left to fend for herself. Again. Hell she even deserved it. Everything it did. Everything she did. It would've been better if she had never come here at all. What was she even thinking, going directly to the high sorceress of mysterium? Pathetic. Maybe she should just leave. At least she wouldn't be around to hear the sorceress say it herself. Maybe- 

“Dear, dear are you alright?” enquired the sorceress softly “you seem a bit uptight.”

Jordana looked up. 

“NOW if you are, i do not wish to intrude… whatever your name was-”

“Jordana…” she sighed. Honestly she did want to be mad, but she didn't have the energy anymore.

“Jordana, you should-”

“Im fine” 

“Well dear, if you're so sure.” the sorceress replied “you still haven't answered my question- why exactly are you here?”

Jordana froze. 

“Well, high sorceress-” she blurted out hurriedly. How was she supposed to say this? “Recently, I have been made, aware, of your legendary feats, your magical prowess… and I know, someone as low as myself… isn't really in a position to ask anything of you…” jordana crawled into herself. God, she was really doing this. This was a mistake, she knew it.

“Will you teach me?”

“An imperian, wanting to learn magic?” the sorceress contemplated. Looking her eyes side to side as she did so.

Jordana held her breath, dreading each moment as they washed over her.

“Well dear…” the sorceress’s eyes lit up  “why didn't you say so?!”

The sorceress threw her teacup down, softening its landing by turning the plate it rested on into a small pillow. Jordana cautiously looked up. All the relief in the world being thrust upon her in a single instant. Was it really that simple? 

“Why, I haven't had a new apprentice application in centuries!” she said as she began frantically sorting through, or throwing around, whatever miscellaneous items she had on the shelf behind her. 

The sorceress sighed. “No, what I'm looking for isn't here… stupid Janet” she scoffed Janet's name under her breath. Though jordana failed to see how realistically Janet could have messed with any of the sorceresses' things, or why she would, she knew better than to question the woman who had just given her a chance at her, well a, life back. “We’ll have to check the other storage room.”

Jordana got herself up, after a bit of time. She was tired, so, so tired. Not that the sorceress seemed to care. That was fine though. It was nothing she couldn't handle. If jordana had learned one thing in imperium it was how to work, and work hard. Only perfection was acceptable, and for a job like this, she would have to be better than that. 

The other room was, surprisingly clean, all things considered. Apart from the odd spiderweb or two. 

“Don't mind the mess, dearie, this room doesn't see a lot of use.” That was probably why. The sorceress looked around for a moment. Each book or potion or whatever the sorceress was checking for added another no to the cacophony.

“Well dear aren't you going to help?” the sorceress returned her gaze to jordana.

“Um- of course high sorceress… what exactly are we looking for?”

“Oh you'll know when you see it” she so helpfully replied. “Besides, it should be just- AHA!” the sorceress yanked up a slab of fabric from under some potions. 

“Do you like it?” she said as she unravelled the fabric. “I know it's not the most, sightly, but anything must be better than your current attire. All that metal cannot be comfy dearie” 

She flew it over to jordana, or rather it grew a pair of wings and flew itself over. It was a jacket, not unlike the one the sorceress herself was wearing brown with a distinct green swirl pattern on the cuffs, only with a noticeably higher amount of dust and cobwebs on it. Not the worst uniform she’d ever seen, surprisingly. “I’d have to ask my daughter for something better, she's about your age, how old are you exactly?”

“14..”

“Well, give or take around a few thousand years… she's quite into fashion i'm sure she’d have something you would like”

“This is more than enough, high sorceress, t-thank you”

“Please dear, call me Gandalaria.” 

“Of course miss Gandalaria” 

“And now dear-” the sorceress clapped her hands, illuminating the room in a flashing parade of rainbow colours. “Do make yourself at home. You've got a big first day tomorrow” she added in a sing-songy tone and then slamming the door.

The room had transformed itself into a bedroom, far larger than she had ever had before. With a large desk, a bookshelf, and even a window sill with several plant pots and a multitude of trinkets littering it. It was far too large to be just a bedroom, jordana thought. It must be a space where the sorceress can send her when she doesn't want to see her. Which if it was anything like her last room, would be a lot. 

Well this time it wouldn't be. Jordana just had to ensure the sorceress didn't have a reason to shut her away. She just had to work harder, harder than with LaRow, harder than with Ras. This was her only chance at any form of redemption for its actions, the ones that blood stained her very hands. Failure wasn't an option.

Jordana reached over to the shelf of gandalrias books and grabbed one.

[mirageofadesert]

Looking back on my first year as a c-drama fan!

This year I fell - first down a flight of stairs - and then (because I couldn't walk properly for a few weeks) down a rabbit hole of cdramas!

In total, I have watched 28 dramas since May. I actually finished 17 of them. I re-watched 8 of them at least once. My most rewatched show is Till The End Of The Moon, followed by Love Is Sweet and The Untamed!

Shows I loved

Till The End of The Moon: This drama triggered my hyperfixation, and I still love it so much. Tantai Jin became my new obsession.

Love is Sweet: This one surprised me because I don't usually care for romantic dramas. It made me more open to different genres.

The Untamed: I watched this for the first time in 2019, and now I can appreciate it even more.

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasties: It took me several tries to get into the drama because the political setting was too complicated. I'm glad I didn't give up. Wang Zhi became one of my favorites!

New Life Begins: I was just looking for something light in between and was quite surprised how much I liked the show.

Things I learned as a newbie:

Cdramas are an acquired taste. Sometimes it's worth going back to a drama that you initially gave up on.

To avoid spoilers, it's best to skip the intro and especially the outro.

I love my characters unhinged.

Apparently it is okay to share leaks from filming.

Never believe anything that comes from yxh accounts.

Shippers are toxic in any fandom.

C-drama fans are a bit older than K-pop fans, but they can be just as unhinged and have trouble distinguishing between how to treat actors and the fictional characters they play.

My ADHD is better regulated when I watch shows in a foreign language while reading the subtitles. I don't get bored watching TV, which is rare!

Shows I dropped, and what I learned from it:

Hidden Love: I still don't like romances that have no significant plot beyond the relationship. Especially if I don't care about the characters at all.

Back from the Brink: Sometimes dramas that start well become an unwatchable, rage-inducing mess halfway through, and it's not worth sticking it out to the end.

Beauty of Resilience: I'm a character-driven audience. If the characters aren't compelling and the story isn't interesting, I don't care about the show.

Ashes of Love: I hate childish FL with baby voices and naive personalities. I need better written female characters. I'm on my 3rd attempt to watch this show and I only have a handful of episodes left, so I'll actually make it to the end (eventually).

I've dropped a lot more shows and actually watched some to the end that I didn't like very much in the end, but those are the ones I learned the most from.

What will stay with me:

Tantai Jin: I'm still obsessed with this character. He is everything I need in a fictional character.

Luo Yunxi: This will come as no surprise to anyone who follows me, but my obsession with TTJ soon extended to Luo Yunxi.

Bai Lu & Sun Zhenni: While I appreciate both of them as actors, it's their fun and uninhibited personalities that made me fall in love with them!!

Costumes: I adore the detailed costumes and hanfu styles, and do prefer costume dramas to modern ones.

Food & drinks: I'm now looking into more Chinese foot now and how to cook vegetables in more interesting ways. I also bought "moon cake stamps"... so wish me luck!

New online acquaintances: I have made some new friends online who I can fangirl with to my heart's content!

What I'm looking forward to in 2024:

I'm really looking forward to Luo Yunxi's upcoming dramas, Follow You Heart, Shui Long Yin and Immortality (🤡). I'm also looking forward to Sun Zhenni's first leading role!

There are still many dramas I want to watch, but haven't found the time for. Like A Journey to Love, Goodbye, My Princess, Nirvana in Fire, Then Miles of Peach Blossoms and The Blood of Youth.

I'm not sure what else I'll post here next year. Probably more reviews and content related to my favourite actors. Let's see if something triggers my hyperfixation soon!

Happy New Year!

[sirfrogsworth]

Some of you may remember me mentioning my quest to get black cherry soda and several shipments ending in tragic bottle breakage. I have been seriously craving this soda for nearly a month now.

I contacted Boylan and accused them of shoddy shipping.

They very politely informed me it was not their shoddy shipping store on Amazon.

After some additional Amazon analysis, I felt foolish about my inaccurate accusations.

They informed me there were no local distributors of Boylan brand bottled black cherry beverages. They said they had no control over Amazon shipments and recommended I order directly from them. That would make this already pretty pricey pop about $15 more expensive after shipping and tax.

I had nearly given up.

After the $220 pizza and the $250 battery replacement and an almost assured account overdraw in my future, I'd have to wait at least until next month to satisfy my soda craving.

But when I went to my local Schnucks grocery store last night I decided to check the soda aisle to see if there were any alternatives.

My first find was Schnucks' own generic brand black cherry soda.

I have to say, that is a cute label for a generic store brand product.

After some research, I discovered this is a rebrand of a classic Vess soda. I like Vess soda! They make a wonderful cream soda concoction that my grandma used to buy whenever I would visit on the weekends. And I specifically told my mom never to buy cream soda for home because then it wouldn't be special when I had it at my grandma's house.

Sadly, I was unaware it was Vess-in-disguise and I was not trusting of a generic store-branded soda. Sometimes these low-cost rebranded items can be good, but it is always a crapshoot. I mean, their generic peas are 70 cents cheaper than Green Giant, but they are also mushy as heck. So based on my previous peas experience, there was a good chance it would taste more like black cherry cough syrup than soda.

I didn't know it was Vess, okay?

REMEMBER THE PEAS, PLEASE!

I fell into a soda research rabbit hole. Vess was acquired by a company called Cott Beverages in 1994. And Cott was then acquired by a company called Refresco in 2018. And Refresco partnered with Coca-Cola and is now their main manufacturer in the United States.

So I guess it is actually a Refresco Cott Vess Schnucks brand black cherry soda in partnership with Coca-Cola.

Capitalism is fucking weird, dude.

So the possible cough syrup RefresCoVesScnhucks was in my cart. I was considering taking the risk.

But then I noticed... the Fitz's section.

A locally owned and operated boutique soda bottler.

*heavenly music*

And do you know who owns Fitz's?

Mr. Alfred J. Fitz! (I don't actually know his first name or middle initial.)

Who founded Fitz's in 1947 as a drive-in restaurant based around his popular secret root beer recipe.

That's right. Fitz's was not enveloped by an incestuous line of conglomerates successively eating each other.

And because of that, they went out of business in 1976. The soda biz is rough if you don't have a multinational manufacturing and distribution network.

But then Fitz's was revived in 1993 by two plucky entrepreneurs who were determined to rebuild the brand using the original secret root beer recipe from Mr. Alfred J. Fitz.

Small business wins the day!

And then they sold out to The Westgate Group in late 1999.

Which then sold it again to Clayton Capital Partners in 2003.

Will capitalism please stop fucking with soda?

But then one of those plucky entrepreneurs thought the brand was being damaged by soulless investment firms and bought back Fitz's. He restored it to glory and I'm sure he will never sell it again*. He is intent on maintaining the Fitz's tradition and image as a beloved St. Louis small business that culturally enriches our famed Delmar Loop with vintage soda bottling techniques customers can watch when they visit the Fitz's restaurant. Neat!

*Unless RefresCoVesScnhucks offers him a bunch of money.

I can't believe I forgot about Fitz's. I used their root beer as a subject for one of my favorite product photos.

To make a long story as long as humanly possible my god why are you even still reading this...

...wouldn't you know it, Fitz's makes black cherry soda!

It is delicious.

Craving accomplished.

[unhinged-summer-fun]

the foolish heart's guide to not repeating history - chapter 2

Pairing: Dream of the Endless "Morpheus" x F!Reader

series masterlist

chapter 2: the fourth free house

Destruction sits back in his seat to watch you. There’s something too similar to how Destiny looked at you not a day ago, too-knowing.

“What.”

“You are confounding. It’s why I like you and what rankles me to no end.”

“Rankle,” you snort.

“It’s a good word.” He rolls his eyes at you, but he’s smiling. It takes him a few moments to think of what to say next, so you look around at the Worlds’ End.

It had been several hours since you arrived and less than one since you finished your tale. The reliable, dull roar of the tavern drowns out the Hum just enough for you to relax in the relative silence. Destruction shakes his head, abandoning the troubling thought that wishes to be spoken in favor of a tangent.

“I think that… hm. I don’t have gifts of foresight like Destiny and Delirium, but there’s something I think neither of them have quite gotten the hang of in this or any other universe.”

“What’s that?”

“Belief. And optimism.”

“I don’t doubt it.” You smile wryly at him and reach out a hand to squeeze his arm. An ex-agent of Fate and an out-of-office Endless, both of you blessed and cursed with the simple ability to change. “You look happy. Happier than the last time I saw you.”

You’d seen him leaving the Dreaming, walking away from his brother’s wake sporting the same supposed ease with which he’d walked away from his family three hundred years before. He’d seen you on your way into the castle and had given you a strange look. It wasn’t pity; it was a very complicated kind of grief, as if it had been you who died and not—

“I am happier,” he nods. He does not elaborate but seems to come to a separate conclusion, for his resolve is steady when he looks up at you again. “I know you covered my fare, but I have a story to tell. Just for you.”

In the fourth Free House, I was told a story. It’s not as common there as it is here, of course, but Lady Siduri told me I should know. I believe she wanted to inform management. I haven’t been anything resembling management in over three hundred years, but she didn’t care. She told me that not too long ago, or not too long from now, a person she couldn’t remember came in but did not pay the tab.

The fourth House is woeful, a heavy place that does not skate on the seas of the universe but instead one that sinks beneath the weight of its own sadness. It requires a heavy heart to pay for passage and shelter, but that’s not all. Payment in full involves the lifting of burdens borne by grief. Anyone can stay as long as they need, until they hear the right bit of advice, until they cry enough tears, or until they pass enough seconds in silence. At that point, their hearts should be light enough to leave.

Very rarely did Lady Siduri forget a face. Even rarer did she forget the face of one who walked out on their tab.

She remembered them being dressed in a standard garb within the walls of the fourth House: mourning black, as if they’d just come from a funeral… or a wake. They drank red wine and told her they’d just had their heart broken again.

“Have you been here before?” Siduri asked them.

They told her something like, “Since it was first made.”

“I hope our House has helped,” said Siduri, ever the hostess.

Siduri thought the traveler said, “More often than not, yes.”

Siduri did not remember precisely why she gave the advice she did. Still, she remembered the advice itself, which could indicate who the traveler was—as I am a traveler and walk the worlds often and may have some insight.

The advice was something like: Don’t make a cult of suffering. Live in the now (or at least the soon). Courage is an acquired taste. Trust all joy.

“How did this wanderer take the advice?” I asked.

“The floor shook with whatever they decided to do. They stood from the bar, thanked me, and left without paying.”

“Did you see where they were going after they left?”

Of course, she had not.

Since hearing this tale, I have wondered about the nature of travel and the delicate balance of running toward and running away. My travels have inspired this kind of introspection, though never to be seen from the outside. I have come to no conclusion here or there about the definition of divinity, but it seems that for all who move, be they humans or gods, planets or stars, there are always things they want to put behind them and always things to look forward to. To look elsewhere for.

There was still the matter of their tab to settle. I felt a kinship with the heavy heart that left the fourth House, and I, too, had just come from a funeral… or a wake. And some souls need to speak of the dead—no, that’s not it. Speaking of the past most often means speaking of the living. And that’s what I did.

In a tucked-away corner of a kitchen that looked like any other kitchen in the world, two brothers, in the most technical sense, were having a conversation.

“D’you know me?” the older-younger brother said.

Eyes as black and starry as their mother’s, which never failed to meet another’s before, slid away in awkward contemplation. “…I believe so. You are… my brother…?”

A smile. “More or less.” He did the kind thing and didn’t acknowledge the new Dream’s shyness. “I wasn’t going to come. And then I thought, sod it. I’ll stop by, give him a little advice. You’ve never been inclined to listen to my advice, but well: things change, don’t they?”

The younger-older brother touched the gleaming emerald on the chain around his neck, conflicting naïveté and enduring wisdom. “Yes. They do.”

“Wise lad. Walk with me a spell.”

“You won’t stay?”

“No. You know I won’t.”

The boy’s face fell. His brother was reminded that this boy was incredibly young, and he remembered a tale he’d been told once of the children they’d once been allowed to be, a universe away. He’d never been allowed a childhood of protection or idyll, and the idea of them being this young and upset turned his heart into knots. Even when his younger sisters had either died or gone through enough torment to be lost, it had hurt to see. But this brother, once an unchanging monolith of clashing ideal and order, had been a beacon for guidance until he’d gotten the hang of the universe. To see him so ill at ease was disconcerting, disorienting, like a compass had finally shattered and revealed itself to be a clock all along.

They walked over a river that had not yet revealed its purpose. “You know you could leave all this. It’ll carry on all right without you. Come out with me and walk the stars.” He already knew the answer, for Dream was Dream in each universe, or so he believed. “It’s astonishing how much trouble one can get oneself into if one works at it.” It was not a jab meant just for the boy before him but for the echo of the stoic being he’d been and is and would be. “It’s also astonishing how much trouble one can get oneself out of if one simply assumes that everything will, somehow or other, work out for the best.”

The inevitable came.

“I have no wish to leave, my brother. But I thank you for your counsel; it is well-meant. And for your other advice, I thank you also. All will be well.” Stars, he sounds just like him, the younger-older brother thought.

They made their goodbyes awkwardly, and though he knew that Dream would not take his advice, he’d at least received it, which was change enough to note.

“Will… will I meet you again?” the boy called.

He’d just been about to leave, and his steps stuttered some on the path beneath him. A surge of protectiveness and grief filled the man’s soul, and he had only a moment to fix his face before he threw a smile over his shoulder. He thought of his friend who told him of the universes, her weeping, her broken hearts, and the dogged fondness that possessed her each time she returned to Dream.

“I wouldn’t be at all surprised.”

He lifted his foot to step into the stars when a short gasp made him stop and turn.

Beside the boy, barely visible, a dark-draped form stood. Flickers of reality sparked off him like embers floating above a bonfire. Pieces of him fell away and away and away even as he was here.

“You—?”

“I would have been better, to love her better. How she deserved and deserves.”

“Regrets are for the living, Dream,” he told his older-older brother, pale with heartache. “And so is change.”

His head bowed, black hair covering his expression, and he faded away for good as a bright star bloomed into existence in the sky.

He had no more words for the new Dream but needed a few minutes of walking to absorb it. He walked along the river, even as the paths faded back into raw creation. He recognized his siblings’ work and, in a way, could feel where they were in the castle. If there was ever a moment where he wanted to bow and return, it was this.

As if Fate had intervened, the great regret of his brother’s life saw him as he went. He waved to her but could do little else besides that.

The lady seemed to appreciate my tale, as did the sadness on my shoulders. Afterward, a sort of understanding glimmered in her eyes, like many things suddenly seemed to make sense. She thanked me for paying my tab so thoroughly and considered the mystery wanderer’s debt paid off. Not long after that, I left and made my way here.

You flag down another glass of wine, your third of this stay, for yet another world of yours has come crashing down around your ears. You’re surprisingly composed even through the tears on your face, and your voice does not shake when you say, “Why would you tell me that?”

“You deserve to know all the parts in play before you begin this game again.”

“You’re still trying to convince me not to do this?” you ask, dashing your tears and holding your hand out for your wine. Though the barkeep had not heard the tale, he knew the bill had been paid in full.

“I am not,” your friend tells you, shaking his head. “I am telling you so you do not make the same moves that would hurt you. You are coming into this universe at a peculiar time.”

“I am coming into this universe at the perfectly correct time for my purposes.”

Curiosity sparks in his eyes, wondering what game you’re playing. Still, he’d chosen many, many years ago, in another time and space entirely, to never sit at this table again. “I shall offer no other advice, for as much as I told you so is a delight to say, I would rather believe you know what you’re doing.”

“Then please do. That’d make one of us.”

“Permutations still running against you?” He knows something of the horrible murmuring of Fate ever in the back of your mind, the noise you call the Hum. Your three counterparts did not suffer from the droning what-ifs and could-be’s, perhaps because they shared its weight among themselves. The indecision and second-guessing inherent to your being always left you with a low note of regret in every choice you made.

“You know it.” You drain your wine and sigh, rubbing your forehead and closing your eyes. “I think so long as someone believes in me, I can do it.”

“You truly do belong with him, don’t you?” He laughs, loud as a bomb going off. “I think I may stick around for this one. I’d like to see what you do. And besides, you’ve never been to this universe, and you’ll need someone to show you the ropes.”

“Don’t patronize me,” you say—rolling your eyes but smiling. “It’s good to see you again… friend.”

You polish off the rest, and when you set the cup down, you know it’s time to get to work.

CHAPTER 3

[riddle-me-ri]

A/N: asdfgg finally dipping my toes into another fandom. Not sure how long this fixation will last but damnit if I don't see a grumpy sarcastic hot traumatized character and I do not get attached (by no means am I an apologist just a simp lmao and I am a sucker for deep characters) 

For anyone reading this purely from the atsv fandom. Hey hi hello, I'm Ri, I'm usually known for DC stuff but I'm an all around whore nerd (meh both) and I was inspired by atsv as I'm sure all of us were and just couldn't not like do something with the ideas in my head lmao so go easy on me friendos but glad to to see you here and thanks for reading! Also new banner who dis? New fandom new banner…may or may not change lmao

Trigger Warning: None, maybe some angst if you squint? Overall just a fluffy wee dream because those are always fun.

Word Count: 713

Miguel O'Hara x Reader - Just a Dream

The sun beamed down on you as you practically roasted on the metal bleachers. It was too hot to not wear shorts but it also was too hot to not have some kind of protection for your thighs. 

A man beside you chuckled as you played hot potato between each thigh trying to keep one body part from getting more burned than the other. 

The man was a looming figure to say the least. His cheekbones caused his eyes to slightly squint as he continued to be amused at your discomfort. 

"I swear, I don't know how you're wearing a long sleeve shirt in this weather." 

"It's light colored, it doesn't attract the sun." He responded. 

"Still, how are you not hot?" 

"Amor, I'm always hot. You should know this." 

He chuckled as you rolled your eyes at him. He patted the top of his thighs conveniently protected by a pair of thin sweatpants. 

"You also know, you can always sit here." 

You nudged him and he faked a hurt whimper. 

"I will not embarrass our daughter like that." 

He nods as he puts his hands up in mock surrender. Completely out of ideas to protect your skin from the scorching metal.

You groaned, opting to sit where the denim met the metal. Even if you were practically about to fall out of your seat. You tried to distract yourself by watching the girl's soccer game in front of you. You kept your eyes peeled for a certain little girl in particular.

You reluctantly couldn't deny the girl was the spitting image of her father, the man beside you teasing you. Even though she was just as much yours as she was his. 

Still she was very much a daddy's girl. 

Soon you were saved from the bleachers as you stood up to applaud your daughter for scoring the winning goal for her team.  

Down on the field, laughing and smiling, celebrating. You were recording the victorious day on your phone. Your daughter, Gabriela was nestled proudly upon her father's shoulders with a cupcake in hand. 

Her dad opened his mouth to mention something only to be interrupted by a cupcake being planted on his cheek followed by the sweetest squealing fit of giggles. 

You and him both join in, not sure if it's from the humorous sight of frosting on his neatly cut cheekbones or her laughter being that infectious. 

"All right, well, piggyback privileges have been officially revoked." He brought his arms up to lift her up off his shoulders and safely place her down. 

She took a satisfied bite from her cupcake, still giggling proudly. 

He looked up to face you but ended up looking straight into your camera. 

He chuckled some more before muttering, "all right, that's enough." 

You put the camera away still giggling. You went up and scooped some of the frosting off his cheek and onto your finger. You put the finger in your mouth, tasting it. 

"Not bad..not bad…could do without the sweat though.." You commented as if you were a food critic. 

This caused your daughter to double over again in laughter. 

"Well, sweet and salty frosting is an acquired taste." He quipped. 

More snickers can be heard just below. 

You nodded to let Gabriela run off to talk to her teammates as her dad reached up to wipe the decadent frosting off his cheek. 

You leaned in and gave him a kiss on his once messy cheek. "Ah that's better." You giggled. 

He beamed down at you, a soft sweet smile. "Ah, that can be better-" 

He curled his finger just below your chin to raise your lips up closer to his. 

You smiled as you leaned in for a kiss–

You sit up, your alarm blaring on your bedside table. You quickly snatched your phone to turn it off. 

You cursed under your breath. Same dream…same damn dream. And the same two people…a little girl…at least you got her name, eventually, Gabriela. But the man…your…dream husband?…Her father…was still a mystery. 

It couldn't be a coincidence, they…they felt so vivid…like they were memories…

The soccer games, birthday parties, breakfasts, anniversaries, dinners…it's like you lived some double life in your dream.

But that's all they got to be right? 

Just a dream?