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Jimin: the blueprint against the structure

Jimin’s success defies the standard narrative of how artists rise in systems like K-pop. Systems where hierarchies are rigid, paths are tightly controlled, and deviation is often punished, not rewarded.

He wasn’t the obvious pick. He didn’t fit the prototype. From his trainee days, he was constantly told he wasn’t enough. He debuted last and had the shortest training period. And yet, against every prediction, he became a central force in one of the most influential music groups in history. That kind of trajectory isn’t just rare. It’s unacceptable by industry logic. Because success, especially in K-pop, is supposed to be the result of a clear formula: pre-debut rankings, seniority-based positioning, aesthetic compliance, and a willingness to play the game quietly until it’s your turn.

But Jimin’s story breaks that.

Not because he skipped the work. On the contrary, he worked harder than most. But because he carved out a place for himself despite being told there wasn’t one. Today, he may look like a predestined star, but that’s just how it looks in hindsight. What we’re seeing is not inevitability. It’s the result of relentless discipline, emotional resilience, and creative instinct. He isn’t here because he was chosen, he’s here because he refused to be erased.

And that matters, especially in an industry where going off script usually means getting sidelined.

In music sociology, there’s a concept called positional capital — the idea that your chances at success depend on how well you align with the system’s power structures. Jimin had none of that. What he had was ‘embodied capital’: the internalized skill, presence, and intensity that, once revealed, couldn’t be denied. That’s what made him visible. That’s what made him necessary.

When someone like Jimin succeeds, it’s not just inspiring, it’s structurally significant. It cracks open the illusion that success only comes to those who follow the rules, who wait to be picked, who belong to the inner circle.

He reminds us that there is another way. That discipline, instinct, and self-trust can rewrite the game. That being the outlier isn’t a flaw. It can be the very thing that shifts the center. And in an era obsessed with virality, shortcuts, and overnight fame, his path feels almost old-fashioned. Built on consistency, honesty, and care. And maybe that’s why it’s lasting.

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C-Drama Review: The Story of Pearl Girl

Broadcast: Youku, 2024, 40 Episodes, Genre: Historical

My Rating 7/10

On paper, this drama has everything I look for: a compelling story centered on character development, female relationships, and political intrigue rather than just romance. It starts off with great promise, drawing the viewer in with its strong foundation. However, as the story progresses, it becomes stalled by repetitive obstacles thrown in the protagonist's path, which ultimately saps the momentum from an otherwise intriguing narrative.

Acting: 8/10 World-building: 6/10 Production: 8/10 Storytelling: 6/10 Pacing: 3/10 Re-watch Value: 6/10 

Summary with minor spoilers

Duanwu (played by Zhao Lusi) is raised as a slave on a pearl farm until she escapes this harsh and oppressive environment. Determined to uncover the truth about her family, carve out a place for herself in the world, and seek revenge on those who wronged her, she embarks on a transformative journey. Her path becomes intertwined with the enigmatic Yan Zijing (Liu Yuning), who is pursuing his own vendetta against the families that destroyed his life. Along the way, they encounter new allies and adversaries, including the righteous Zhang Jinran (Tang Xiaotian), the skilled Yue Yunxi (Shang Wanqing), and the ambitious Cui Shijiu (Xie Chloe).

Through numerous twists and turns, Duanwu begins building her own business as a jewelry maker and seller. Slowly, and with the support of her newfound allies, she not only establishes her reputation and business but also closes in on the people who took everything from her.

My review - spoilers ahead!

The first few episodes were absolutely thrilling and deeply moving—they even brought me to tears. The show tackled heavy themes like sexual violence with sensitivity, delivering a female-focused narrative that made me root for the main character with all my heart. The developing friendships and romances were equally compelling, filled with chemistry and emotional depth.

I’ve always loved stories about women overcoming adversity to build their own businesses, as seen in New Life Begins. However, in this case, the story begins to lose its spark in the second half. The intrigue fizzles out as repetitive obstacles are thrown at the protagonist, making the narrative feel stagnant. The show would have greatly benefited from fewer episodes and tighter storytelling in its latter part.

By the time the tragic ending unfolded, my emotional connection to the characters had waned due to the overly drawn-out plot. Finishing the show felt like a chore, as each new conflict added little to the overall progression of the story. While it had incredible potential, the lack of narrative focus in the second half sadly undermined its impact.

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Apologies for not posting in a while—life has been a whirlwind! Between transitioning from job hunting to starting a new career, moving to a new place, and now preparing for my first child, it's been quite the journey. With so much going on, I barely had time to watch any dramas. When I did, I mostly turned to my comfort shows for some relaxation.

Now that maternity leave is on the horizon, I’m hopeful I’ll have more time to dive back into dramas. My watchlist is still overflowing, and I still haven’t finished my TTEOTM anniversary post. I hope I can get back into it soon(ish)!

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C-Drama Review: Love Game in Eastern Fantasy

Broadcast: Tencent, 2024, 32 Episodes, Genre: Romance, Wuxia

My Rating 6/10

The heartwarming story struggles with its delivery, lacking clear direction. It relies on the audience's attachment to the characters and their growing relationship, only to ultimately leave these elements underdeveloped.

Acting: 6/10 World-building: 5/10 Production: 8/10 Storytelling: 4/10 Pacing: 6/10 Re-watch Value: 6/10 

Summary with minor spoilers

Ling Miaomiao (played by Yu Esther) accidentally finds herself inside the latest novel of her favorite author, taking on the role of a supporting character and villain she had disliked as a reader. The novel turns into a computer game with quests, an experience system, and the constant threat of death—some more permanent than others. She has no choice but to complete the main questline to survive. Along the way, she teams up with the mysterious and moody Mu Sheng (Ding Yuxi), his sister Mu Yao (Zhu Xudan), and Mu Yao’s love interest Liu Fuyi (Yang Shize). Together, they battle monsters and unravel supernatural mysteries that are intricately tied to each character’s past.

My review - spoilers ahead!

The drama’s main storyline is revealed episode by episode, which makes it difficult for a cohesive narrative arc of suspense to develop. Instead, the audience’s interest lies in the evolving relationship between the two leads. Unfortunately, this relationship never fully blossoms into a love story—at least not on screen. The anticipated emotional revelations and romantic moments are more implied than explicitly shown, which I find to be a very odd creative choice. Even the dramatic revelations about Mu Shengs real identity, Liu Fuyi's guilt and Mu Yao's possession barely have any emotional impact. The rest of the plot simply isn’t strong enough to carry the series on its own, so as the finale approaches, the show regrettably becomes increasingly dull (but still rather sweet).

The chemistry between the main cast is decent and effectively supports both comedic and dramatic scenes. Despite its flaws, this is the first drama in a while that I’ve actually managed to finish!

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Thank you so much for your empathic and introspective words. Awareness seems to me to be an essential factor in opening up a system – and expanding knowledge. I am a researcher myself and have spent many years explaining to my students how important and challenging unbiased research is. And yet… the lack of robust medical research on the female body - or even research that includes it at all - is alarming.

I hope that good, self-aware doctors like you can guide the next generation of medical professionals and researchers. Wishing you all the best!

"That's just how it is sometimes", said my doctor

When my mother spoke about her pregnancy, she always described it as a wonderful experience. In reality, it was far from magical. She hid her pregnancy from those around her, moved to a new city without any financial support to complete her studies. She avoided pregnancy preparation courses because she didn’t want to be influenced by the fears and worries of others. She had faith in God, or so she says. After nine months, I was born in a farmhouse that had been converted into a shared apartment for students, in the room of my future stepfather, above the pigsty.

My reality is different. No God, no faith that everything will just be okay. Instead, constant nausea, stomach pains, and worries. I knew that pregnancy wasn't as easy as everyone tried to make me believe, and thanks to the internet, I vaguely knew about the absurd consequences that pregnancy can have on the female body. And yet, I am happy – even though I don’t feel well.

But for the first time in my life, that’s not a big deal. Even though every day is a struggle, and I have to use almost all my energy to plan my meals and get through the day with as little pain as possible, it’s bearable. Because I know that my child is growing inside me. And because I know that this condition is not permanent.

But there’s something else. A certain sense of satisfaction and the knowledge that I was right. For many years, I regularly went to doctors (male) and described my complaints in my stomach and digestive tract. They conducted examinations but ultimately found nothing. The diagnosis always varied from "that's just how it is sometimes" to "stress." Stress as the main explanation increased after I developed anxiety disorders during the Corona pandemic. Suddenly, all my agonizing symptoms were simply caused by my mental health. As if it were all in my head.

And yet… why did my symptoms subside when I stop taking the pill? Why was my skin a disaster and my hair thinning if this can't be hormonally related, even though it only happens after stopping the pill? Again, it’s all stress, and sometimes it’s just how it is, the doctors (male) said. For many women, these issues disappear during pregnancy, said my dermatologist, though sometimes they get worse.

For me, it has gotten worse. Everything has gotten worse. Hair, skin, digestion. Because it’s about hormones. BECAUSE IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT HORMONES. For years, they tried to convince me that I couldn’t read my own body. That my body observations were even pathological. And now suddenly the connections between female hormones and my complaints are known?!

And yet… I was right. Being a female-read person in the healthcare system is such a wonderful experience.

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"That's just how it is sometimes", said my doctor

When my mother spoke about her pregnancy, she always described it as a wonderful experience. In reality, it was far from magical. She hid her pregnancy from those around her, moved to a new city without any financial support to complete her studies. She avoided pregnancy preparation courses because she didn’t want to be influenced by the fears and worries of others. She had faith in God, or so she says. After nine months, I was born in a farmhouse that had been converted into a shared apartment for students, in the room of my future stepfather, above the pigsty.

My reality is different. No God, no faith that everything will just be okay. Instead, constant nausea, stomach pains, and worries. I knew that pregnancy wasn't as easy as everyone tried to make me believe, and thanks to the internet, I vaguely knew about the absurd consequences that pregnancy can have on the female body. And yet, I am happy – even though I don’t feel well.

But for the first time in my life, that’s not a big deal. Even though every day is a struggle, and I have to use almost all my energy to plan my meals and get through the day with as little pain as possible, it’s bearable. Because I know that my child is growing inside me. And because I know that this condition is not permanent.

But there’s something else. A certain sense of satisfaction and the knowledge that I was right. For many years, I regularly went to doctors (male) and described my complaints in my stomach and digestive tract. They conducted examinations but ultimately found nothing. The diagnosis always varied from "that's just how it is sometimes" to "stress." Stress as the main explanation increased after I developed anxiety disorders during the Corona pandemic. Suddenly, all my agonizing symptoms were simply caused by my mental health. As if it were all in my head.

And yet… why did my symptoms subside when I stop taking the pill? Why was my skin a disaster and my hair thinning if this can't be hormonally related, even though it only happens after stopping the pill? Again, it’s all stress, and sometimes it’s just how it is, the doctors (male) said. For many women, these issues disappear during pregnancy, said my dermatologist, though sometimes they get worse.

For me, it has gotten worse. Everything has gotten worse. Hair, skin, digestion. Because it’s about hormones. BECAUSE IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT HORMONES. For years, they tried to convince me that I couldn’t read my own body. That my body observations were even pathological. And now suddenly the connections between female hormones and my complaints are known?!

And yet… I was right. Being a female-read person in the healthcare system is such a wonderful experience.

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Who is my heart waiting for?

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Follow Your Heart - ep. 9 (incorrect quotes)

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Jimin is coming to fuck us all up.

He’s coming to ruin, to claim, to reign like the king he is.

Fuck I’ve missed him.

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Logging back in to see what my favourite fandoms are up to...

... Fanwars, sabotaged promotion, blacklisting by the industry, being sued by Trump, character being potentially killed off, mobbing at the airport, tiny thing blown out of proportion, everyone trying to end someone's career, fake righteous anger and performative activism used as a tool to further personal agendas ...

Was it always like this?

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today in "google AI is fucking useless because it hallucinates things that never happened", i bought a couple CVS thermometers that have both been acting up, tried to search if there had been a problem with the whole product line:

there is no record of this product recall. it did not happen. the date "feb 8 2024" is the date someone listed a thermometer for sale on ebay.

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Couldn't agree more. I have re-watched the film 3 time this last two week and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier twice. Then I binged Fresh and Pam & Tommy - all while working... someone send help...

me: I have so much to do, I can't even take any break or start a new show!

my brain: How about we check in on one of our past hyperfixations?

Someone give me dr*gs, I can't work like this....

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I guess I have a type part 3

The picture is getting clearer ...

So I guess I have a type?

At least when it comes to my fictional men...

And then there is the one that started it all ...

... or was he? ....

I like my fictional men angsty, suffering and a bit psychotic... and dressed in black. Long hair is a plus!

...

And then there is the love of my life...

Come to think about it ... he is one angsty mo- individual? Just listen to "Lie" or the masterpiece that is "FACE"!

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me: I have so much to do, I can't even take any break or start a new show!

my brain: How about we check in on one of our past hyperfixations?

Someone give me dr*gs, I can't work like this....

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Cdrama: Shui Long Yin (2024?)

042724 罗云熙领衔主演玄侠电视剧 《水龙吟》一秒江湖宣传片: Fantasy wuxia Shui Long Yin starring Luo Yunxi as Tang Lici

Watch this video on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALpE5kJ32Zs

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Shui Long Yin

Original novel: Teng Ping (author of Auspicious Lotus House -> which Mysterious Lotus Casebook was adapted from)

Principal Lead: Luo Yunxi

Male Leads: Xiao Shunyao, Ao Ziyi, Fang Yilun

Female Leads (Ranked by Actor's First Letter): Bao Shangen, Chen Yao, Lin Yun

Guest stars: Xu Zhengxi, Wang Yilun, Xie Binbin Jiang Zhenyu

Special guest: Yang Shize

[X]

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Give me more morally gray characters ...

Let me interrupt my regular program for a brief rant about Downton Abbey and Thomas Barrow… well, not really regular as I've been too busy to watch anything with subtitles for the past few weeks. Instead, I passively binged on Downton Abbey while working.

I love morally gray characters, be it Tantai Jin from TTEOTM or Spike from Buffy. One of my favorite characters is Thomas Barrow from Downton Abbey. (Spoiler Alert, TW // suicide, homophobia, conversion therapy)

Thomas is everything I need in a character ... unhinged, angsty and gay.

I loved him from the first rude line to the last. He starts out as a delightful troublemaker with a cruel streak born of fear, hurt and the desire to be respected, fit in and belong. He is, as Baxter understands so well, his own worst enemy, having perfected self-sabotage over the years.

A supporting character for most of the show, the footman-turned-butler's story is usually prioritized over his character development - meaning the writers know where they want him to end up each season, even if it contradicts previous characterizations. This leaves the audience with a character who can be hard to follow at times.

The writing really got on my nerves at times. From conveniently forgetting his medical training when they want him to despair during his job hunt, to pulling any kind of cunning out of him when they want him to appear changed (and depressed), Thomas is always what the showrunners need him to be, but not necessary what would make sense for his character. I'm still annoyed that they made him go through medical torture in the form of conversion therapy and a suicide attempt, and then glossed over these traumatic incidents in favor of boring other storylines. Or how they portrayed his war injury as an act of cowardice rather than desperation.

What I love about him is that he was still a coherent character who remained a morally gray character (the last film aside, because they sort of forgot to give him any of his character traits back). Thomas would still lash out when he was angry or hurt, would still manipulate others for his own gain, and would still feel wronged by the world. Once the world has brought him to his knees, he understands that he has only himself to blame, and he tries to do better - which has its ups and downs. The Thomas we see in the final and in the films still wants to belong, is still a desperate romantic, but he is also so incredibly insecure in a rather endearing way.

Younger Thomas was rather stiff but dignified, trying to appear immaculate, trying to hide the fact that he felt he was anything but. Once the mask comes off, he goes from being a reluctant cat to being full of nervous puppy energy. As a neurodivergent person who has recently struggled with not being able to masks well, I can relate a little too much to this version of Thomas.

Most characters, that start out as villains, either change completely (like Tantai Jin), their behavior will be excused (like Mo Ran or Spike) or they sacrifice themselves for the greater good to redeem themselves (like Spike). Thomas stays more on less morally gray. We understand the reasons better, why he would lash out at others, and we can feel sorry for him. He had a harder life than most, but that still does not undo the harm he has done to others.

All in all, the last film was a bit of a disappointment for me, mainly because a lot of the characters felt a bit off. I had to watch the film twice to get behind the romance with Guy Dexter. What Guy meets is Thomas desire to be respected as a person, to be seen as worthwhile, to escape the life as decorative wallpaper and to finally have a romantic relationship with someone that is rather enthusiastic about him. A lot of their relationships seems to have developed off-screen, based on Guy knowing who Carson was during his proposal and understanding how uncertain Thomas still feels about his role in the household. I wish them well - but not at the expense of Thomas being excluded from the rumoured 3rd film. I hope it takes place in the USA and we get to see him again!

I really wish we would see more morally gray characters like this, even through a quick look into the fandom of Downton Abbey shows me, that not everybody can handle it.