#to make it more silly with the name alien stage you could show themes of singers being so alienated from their stage and audience | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rosequart · 4 years ago

Text

i compiled a bunch of direct quotes about pink diamond/rose quartz from the newest artbook, end of an era. some of these quotes are taken from charts and scribbled notes, so the sentence structure might be weird.

let me know if there are any typos/missing information you think i could add!

quotes from rebecca sugar: on pink diamond/rose quartz

Pink Diamond is so sure that she’s powerless, but she’s actually profoundly powerful, so much so that she devastates people’s lives without understanding it because she thinks that she has no real power or sway.

The thing that she really lacks is balance, any ability to temper her extremes. This is part of her character throughout her forms: she’s always very extreme.

Pink fits into those older tropes, too: the restless princess, the little Winsor McCay clown.

Pink is pure want. Impulse, desire—she’s infectious. She is the flip side of White; she can bring out a Gem’s hidden personality—their deepest wants. This isn’t necessarily a Diamond power (she has a handful of Diamond powers both destructive and constructive), but she has this power in a very human sense. She is an enabler and very manipulative when it comes to getting what she wants, so when what she wants is to get closer to someone, her intensity, and her sincerity, opens them up and draws them in.

White and Pink were always clashing. The Diamond body repressed Pink’s wants, as directed by White, the self-critical conscience. Pink’s shield made it impossible for White to override Pink’s identity, so she had to find other ways to repress her.

Episodes like Bismuth make much more sense when you know that Rose is Pink, and even more sense when you understand how poorly Pink treated friends who became inconvenient.

Rose is tracked carefully through the entire show. She makes sense once you know she is her own worst enemy. She dreams, achingly, that she could become compassionate, because she’s sure she’s incapable of compassion. Her lack of respect for herself makes it impossible for her to respect everyone closest to her. She reveres them instead, because they are better than she could ever be, and that reverence is so honest and intoxicating that it draws everyone closer to her, without them understanding the deep self-hatred that pull is coming from.

She couldn’t stand herself; self-destruction is a huge theme throughout the show—the struggle of the feeling that you shouldn’t exist, and what that can do to a person. A lot of the themes of the show exist within Rose, like her inability to be honest with other people or herself about what she’s done. She’s so deeply ashamed of herself and her past, with very good reason. The truth is that the people in her life would be so much more understanding than she believes they will be. The contempt that she has for herself gets turned outward as contempt for other people when she can’t trust them. When she can’t trust herself, she can’t trust other people, and it makes it impossible for her to be close with anyone. It makes life extremely difficult for her. It makes living difficult for her.

Rose wants [honesty and trust and being able to grow and change] so badly, but she can’t really accomplish any of that until she accepts herself—and she never does.

quotes from rebecca sugar: on rose and greg

Rose and Greg have a very specific relationship. They parallel each other: Greg left his unsupportive family to follow his dreams. He changes his name and begins living as his stage persona...He invents himself.

Rose is instantly interested in Greg; he’s so human, sweet and funny and pliable. But as they get a little deeper into their relationship, Greg starts to realize how alien she actually is. She objectifies him, she laughs at him...she can’t seem to relate to him or pick up on how he’s feeling. They have a physical relationship, but they’ve never had a meaningful conversation. He starts to feel used. So he challenges her in a way she’s never been challenged before: he asks her to treat him like an equal. This is huge for her. She’s always been less than the other Diamonds and more than everyone else. She opens up to him in a real way, and over time she’s ready to confess everything to him. But he understands what it is to run away from home and reinvent yourself. He doesn’t need her old name and he’s not going to drag her through whatever it was she ran from; as far as he’s concerned, her old self isn’t the real her anyway. The real her is her in the present, the person she decided to be. [...] This is an incredible relief for her! With him, she can live authentically in the moment...They both can, but on the flip side, they enable each other. She never unpacks what scares her about her past, and neither does he.

They really wanted to have a child [...] It’s something they are genuinely excited about. And that’s something that’s left a little open-ended—just how selfish it was for Rose to do this knowing that she would disappear. What Rose is doing is outrageously selfless and outrageously selfish at the same time, and you can really read it both ways and neither is untrue.

chart notes: on pink diamond/rose quartz

Pink learns to keep secrets. She tells her new Pearl to keep them too. (She puts on an act. Behaves better.) She doesn’t trust herself...keeps asking her Pearl what to do...

The Game: Rose plays Batman on the ground. (Pearl is Robin and Alfred.) Pink tries to use Rose as an excuse to call off the invasion. This backfires when Blue and Yellow send in reinforcements.

Rose finds herself the head of a family. Determined to be everything White was not—she is close with everyone, flexible in everything. Love & fun are the rule—and there are no rules—and everyone is the most special!

chart notes: on rose and the crystal gems

Pink keeps asking Pearl what she thinks. Pearl understands she should have no opinions, and should follow orders. She is caught in a paradox. Her head swims. She laughs—feels scared—what is this?

Pearl is falling in love. Pink, as Rose, is intoxicating. She’s free somehow. They both are, when they’re on Earth.

Rose falls in love with Pearl’s surprising boldness that comes out of left field—!

Pearl and Rose start fusing a lot.

Pearl and Rose—the dust clears, revealing an endless honeymoon. Pink is gone and Pearl is free—free to love Rose.

Garnet trusts Rose, respects her secrets. She sees in Rose a self-made gem, a quartz that transcended her station out of sheer will and the power of self-love. Garnet loves Rose and her mystery, the way she learns to love & embrace the mystery of herself. Rose is her rock and inspiration.

Rose teaches Amethyst: you can be anything you want to be! Huge advocate of shapeshifting, self-expression, anarchy—however, Amethyst can sense shame from Rose and Pearl over the Kindergarten.

chart notes: on rose and the crystal gems, post-pink diamond reveal

Amethyst finally understands Rose: wanting her to shapeshift, not feel obligated to be a quartz, suddenly feels sympathy...kinship. It wasn’t Amethyst being inspired by Rose—Rose was inspired by them!

Garnet shocked: Rose taught her to love herself. If that was a lie—if Pink Diamond was self-hating, and wanted to disappear—than what does that mean for Garnet? No—it wasn’t Garnet being inspired by Rose—Rose was inspired by them!

Pearl is finally released—but, a rift—! Garnet feels betrayed! But, Pink did change! Pink did grow! Rose was different! That’s why Pearl was inspired by Rose—or, wait—Rose was inspired by them!

chart notes: on pink and the other diamonds

Pink, the littlest diamond, is largely ignored by Yellow, Blue, and White. Her silly impulses and eccentricities are not particularly helpful to the other diamonds in their endeavors. No one wants to play with her. Pink desperately wants White’s attention and approval (she will never get it).

Pink’s [original] Pearl is the only one who sees how much this upsets Pink. Pink is bright in front of Yellow, Blue, White—but when they don’t have time for her, she privately takes it hard.

Noticing Pink’s behavior, Yellow and Blue think she should have her own colony. White insists—she hasn’t really changed. She’ll never change. She gives Pink a colony—if only to prove Pink will fail.

White knows Pink is out there. This expensive, embarrassing tantrum is not worth her attention. Pink will come groveling back when she’s done running away from home.

Yellow and Blue are relieved to have Pink back—but White is vindicated. I knew you’d be back, your silly game is over—get back in place.

Steven gets Yellow and Blue to understand who he is now. But White won’t have it [...] In an ultimate act of self love, Steven fuses with himself, as White realizes—she can be wrong, and she’s truly lost her ‘daughter’.

#steven universe #end of an era #pink diamond #rose quartz #eoae spoilers #su spoilers #rose

1K notes · View notes

lvlyhao · 4 years ago

Text

『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』

reaction fic; NCT Dream

A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.

note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so

just dont mind it pls

also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.

word count: 6.8K

pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Mark

oh, poor baby

i feel like he would be a little heartbroken

just a little

not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,

boy might cry

he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself

so he might think like

“do they think he’s cooler than me?”

and it’s silly, yes, he knows

but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up

so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased

because gods know i am

at least when it comes to 127

mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”

and

“a h”

would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just

showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways

complimenting you

being even more whipped than usual

like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again

i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing

and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt

we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose

but we also know he’s johnny

cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”

so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)

just to see you giggle

(and see your soul leave your body)

might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol

and winks

expect a lot of winks

anywhere and anytime

which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???

and that you appreciate johnny more than him???

he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias

don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol

his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho

now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant

he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever

and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™

but he’s not 100% aware of that

and you’re not that dense

so ofc you notice

and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant

he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything

he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes

which is fine by you

and by him

cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time

and hugging him

and kissing his cheek

and praising his work

and blowing kisses from across the room

and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him

(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)

THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN

COMMUNICATE

Renjun

wym donghyuck is your bias lol

literally are you fucking kidding him

don’t get me wrong ok

everyone knows renjun loves haechan

they’re bffs and could not live without each other

but at the same time,,,

what is wrong with you

who did he choose as his s/o gods help him

if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,

literally ANY of his other members

he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”

but haechan???? hmmm bestie no

he’s not gonna throw a fit

not after the first time you told him anyways

HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY

and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke

if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck

for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage

BACK ON TRACK

would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind

and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it

he doesn’t even flirt with you

he just

constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you

“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”

(pause for injun to punch him)

(unpaused)

and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two

haechan won’t let either of you live

and renjun just wants to

fight

so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it

except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering

ANYWAY

your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”

while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just

“bro why are you like this”

“bro”

no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that

he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know

he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are

but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???

he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others

so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice

or better dancing skills

or he looks better

he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—

the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago

he was fine with being him

but not so much when it came to that

i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him

and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too

not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again

hyuck never meant for things to get out of control

he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,

teasing

he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well

don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out

injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging

and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,

art

sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him

and talk about his fantastic animal creations

and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like

hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...

and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side

and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)

but then,,,,,,

wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE

(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)

and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded

and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other

but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage

and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him

i’m kidding

or not

Jeno

ah, lee jeno

aka samoyed boi

yes i do call him that no i will not stop

everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you

but i just

don’t see him that way

he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort

so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin

as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol

and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)

jaemin doesn’t flirt with you

not any more than he flirts with

every other breathing creature

ever

he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol

on the other side, he is in love with jeno

basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his

so nothing really changes

we know how nomin are, okay

they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live

it's just them

you gotta respect it bruh

i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else

i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his

and it’s not something big or on purpose

it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework

or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first

even if it’s just three words

“you did good”

and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????

i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance

he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”

his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time

and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence

(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)

so what if you just

stopped seeing him?

did he become invisible to you?

did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?

he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though

earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???

so we do what we do

bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes

1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)

2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy

so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2

jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does

literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies

he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right

he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv

jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so

many

vegetables

AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT

but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™

and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent

this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be

maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((

:(((((

writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH

and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do

if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it

turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break

so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising

the first reaction is confusion

the second is oh hey babe how are you

third is

a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??

yes you are and i’m proud of you

so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much

and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and

he’s perfect

and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been

baby boy just needs some rest

and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt

then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him

the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion

after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle

well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol

this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up

make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again

and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy

he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough

Haechan

haechan = full sun

why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun

does not understand

but also does not care that much

actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is

if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so

much

complaining

and clinging

AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD

donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am

on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,

adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it

ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x

then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented

IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD

i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok

i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you

he loves you both

a lot,,,,

and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him

and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit

lowkey done with you two

but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION

or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)

“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”

pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected

will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up

he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty

will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner

will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes

what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today

oh man, he could swear they did

because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes

no he doesn’t want to impress you

shut up

will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter

every

single

one

and are they mark’s?

lol no, they’re his

he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult

<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias”

“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”

he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad

he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever

cus haechan privilege

and he tends to not care about what people say and think???

bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck

he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people

but you

not biasing him

naw, he can’t take it

will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias

then you can go back to loving (his) mark

so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake

just give donghyuck what he wants

i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do

like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET

“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”

if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty

will actually drop you for mark

his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead

and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on

everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????

<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”

“i’m your partner”

“no that’s mark”

it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to

assert his dominance

and mark is just

“dude

what HAHAHA”

and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby

i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something

like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck

“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”

“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”

“yes i know”

i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal

with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him

he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too

what am i talking about?

new 127 mv is out

you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks

him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too

this is what a happy couple looks like

but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl

savemork2021

Jaemin

nana is just such a chill and fun guy

i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else

and so the two of you become insufferable together

bitch, i’m telling you

he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life

cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”

yes that thing

he’s doing it to your bias

and you’re doing it too

and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land

PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG

i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine

two fully grown people

pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone

“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE

MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"

i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time

cus individually he can handle it

like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now

or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard

but when you two are together

bruh

a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close

and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun

jaemin loves jaehyun

they’re 2jae

2jae are soulmates

therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???

bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them

they’re too powerful

they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces

so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane

and i mean insane

insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc

they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me

and of course, you had to tag along

but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring

there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao

jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)

but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty

you can bet there are compilations on youtube like

“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”

ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on

i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else

he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members

bc gods know he does

he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol

one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like

done with people

and needs some time away from everything

we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans

it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained

and he’ll need a break to get his energy back

jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though

i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship

he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too

and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat

and just cuddle him a lot

that will make him a smiley baby again

and then things are back to how they normally are

and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared

i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura

dotae would be confused in different ways lol

taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????

and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you

<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”

mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him

but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”

resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes

a literal comedian i love him

i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol

chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone

shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)

taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)

ten is not very amused but might play into it

yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)

xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office

haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it

jeno is used to dealing with this at this point

lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming

sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”

this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry

Chenle

chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao

okay so

he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)

he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him

back to the plot

he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else

b u t

i will say there’s an exception

this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february

you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung

i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon

you had 22 chances not to mess up

and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time

and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—

he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and

hold the fuck up

your bias is his best friend

oH NO NO NO NO NO

i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????

and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along

it’s his sweet, dummy jisung

with his sweeter and dummier y/n

what is he going to do

probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT

kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”

and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind

you know the teasing thing?

well it’s upgrade time

he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done

and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends

he just wants you to like

know who you’re befriending

bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone

and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either

if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—

he’d be so broken

because he loves you so much :((((

so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies

so get ready for it

if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy

so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures

“hey y/n”

“yeah babe?”

“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”

“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”

“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”

“...”

“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”

yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick

BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH

he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though

so picture this

movie night the girls boys

chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him

and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like

“jisung”

“w-what”

“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”

(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)

and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time

but chenle is laughing

and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes

“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>

and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it

and stop being weird and awkward around each other

lele needs you two to be bros ok

so be bros

once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable

and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension

happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods

and if you don’t adapt to it?

well,,,

i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????

and like what u scared of

jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you

either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental

so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend

then everyone can be besties

i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio

because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them

but now that you’re coming along,,,,

no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)

and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing

you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????

which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you

we don’t need sm to be on fire

well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point

i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop

bc c’mon guys

he’s chenle

no limits here

but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real

last scenario?

chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right

jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you

Jisung

it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>

i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like

ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that

he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol

however

i do see him as being quite new to all things love

i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts

first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….

first time being jealous, yes, focus on that

i don’t think jisung would be aware that like

you not biasing him is even a possibility

cuz you’re dating

doesn’t that come along????

ah poor baby i love him

if you biased chenle i think he’d be just

disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???

he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated

but if it’s another member

ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones

i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence

you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned

his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him

and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??

what about him then???

and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from

first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you

and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much

and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO

he really respects you and his hyungs

so no, never

that’s not a thing that can happen

but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?

well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking

probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice

i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung

and they do tell him that

however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you

it’s just that

his hyungs are so cool…

HE CAN’T HELP IT OK

would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like

grasp onto some of his qualities?

so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect

i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???

like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it

i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image

so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???

“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”

“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”

he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to

long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing

when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((

you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance

they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason

please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too

your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too

and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it

actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along

he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like

127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…

the dreamies

and that, my friend, is terrifying

anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud

of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about

it’s him

“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name

it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’

so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”

jisung would feel 10000000% better

and smiley

and giggly

and oh my god do you really talk about him that much

LOOK HE’S BLUSHING

would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you

and not let go

ever again

the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it

shut up i’m not crying

---

final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)

if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3

334 notes · View notes

plasticflowering · 4 years ago

Text

Ranking Every ONEUS Song Because I Have Opinions

I guess it’s time for me to embark upon this task. Come along for the ride if you’re so inclined.

This is by no means a definitive ranking, because that’s impossible and the consumption of music is an intrinsically personal experience. But I personally like ranking things for arbitrary reasons.

Each song is ranked in order, and within those rankings I’ve assigned Tiers. Enjoy.

Note: this includes only studio tracks officially released by RBW or KissEnt, which means I’m sadly not including the Road to Kingdom songs. Actually, wait, you wanna know what? The real reason I’m not including Road to Kingdom songs is because I’m still salty that my favorite song from that show is one that didn’t get a studio release. Justice for Warrior’s Descendant.

Let’s begin.

I’ll start things off with the top tier, the best of the best, my absolute favorite ONEUS songs. Now what should I name a tier that represents the pinnacle of what ONEUS can offer us?

Black-Haired Seoho Tier

1. “Valkyrie”

This song goes places. It's the one that made me fall in love with ONEUS and it's still my favorite, oops.

2. “Blue Sky”

"Blue Sky” defies genre to me. The first time I heard it, I was blown away. It has some of my favorite vocals AND two of my favorite raps in their discography - I love Leedo and Ravn's "ballad raps" in general but this is my favorite.

3. “BingBing”

So full of personality. Such an earworm. Emotional and kinda unsetlling lyrics. Xion speaking French? OKAY. It's title track worthy, for sure, so it's a shame it gets so overlooked by casual listeners. I’m glad the fanbase has at least given it the legendary status it deserves.

4. “Lost”

Was not expecting this one to enter my top ten with turbo boosters, but I started to listen to it a lot last year and in the process I started to feel things for this song that I previously have only felt for “Blue Sky”

5. “Plastic Flower”

It me.

6. “Rewind"

It’s all about the synth hook, to me. I am pathetically manipulable where good synth hooks are concerned. Also, the cadence and arrangement of this song reminds me of “Lost” and that’s never a bad thing.

7. “Dizzy”

I just feel like this is where they all shine as a vocal ensemble. Their personalities shine through in Dizzy, and I'm a sucker for that emotive sort of performing.

8. “Incomplete"

Right in a row here, you’ve got two sets of “my favorite song on the album” followed by “what I believe to be the best song on the album”. “Incomplete” is the best song on “DEVIL”. The lyrics are amazing and, this may sound weird, but as a Human in Their Thirties the lyrics hit even harder. Bonus points for guitar, as always.

9. “Dead or Alive”

I’ll never get over how strange and wonderful this song is, and yes I do believe it’s the best song on “LIVED”. (Vee shouts through a megaphone again about how “Dead or Alive” incorporates musical themes or lyrical elements from every other song on “LIVED” and hopes someone listens). Also (vee voice) guitars.

10. “Lit”

“Lit” just rules and I don’t believe there’s much I can add that has not already been said about it

Leedo Face Scrunch Tier

Now for those songs that are still my favorites, and make the world an immensely better place for existing, but don’t quite crack the ultimate ONEUS songs pantheon.

11. “No Diggity”

I'm a simple person, okay? I love bright and poppy songs but I'm also weak for unapologetic bangers, and "No Diggity" is an UNAPOLOGETIC BANGER. I think the guitars are (unsurprisingly) what takes this song to the next level for me. The arrangement in general is so impressive, and it’s obvious that they balanced it well to make use of all the members’ individual strengths. RIP my bias though.

12. “Crazy & Crazy”

The "Crazy & Crazy" appreciator has logged on! When Ravn said "hakuna matata 원하면 이뤄져 bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO", I felt that!!! If I ever get to go to a ONEUS concert and god forbid meet any of you there, I cannot be held responsible for how HAM I will go during this song.

13. “Hide and Seek”

I’m weak for this funky little bass-driven bop.

14. “Red Thread”

I don’t ever feel like I truly have gone in hard for a group until I start proselytizing their ballads to my unsuspecting friends. Ballads have a high barrier of entry in K-Pop especially, but my god!! MY GOD!!! This is a god-tier ballad.

15. “808″

They threw every single synth possible at the wall with “808″ and it absolutely sends me with how well it works. It’s undeniably “a Japanese single,” if you know what I mean, but even with that I think it’s one of their strongest title tracks. The chorus is endlessly singable, too, and that means a lot to me while I’m listening to it while doing the dishes, which I do a lot.

16. “Leftover”

I believe that Seoho and Ravn team songwriting will save our souls, and this song is one more reason to do so. I love that their songs aren’t just straight-up R&B (not that I don’t love R&B), and that there’s something very playful and unique about them.

17. “Zig Zag”

I’ll never forget you, “Zig Zag,” or the way Keonhee absolutely owns your vocals. In fact, if I had to assign an image song to every member I would most likely assign “Zig Zag” to Keonhee. 18. “Lion Heart"

As far as “weird little song” vibes go, “Lion Heart” really wins. Has undoubtedly one of the weirdest moments in any ONEUS song in the first post-chorus, and I’ll never shut up about the implied lore associations.

19. “Hero”

In every ToMoon's life, there is that indelible moment when they first heard Seoho's pre-pre-chorus vocals on "Hero" and suddenly realized so much about life and love and the nature of miracles. And, less dramatically, I love a good rap that uses the word biscuit.

Road to Kingdom Era Xion Tier

I became a Xion bias in Road to Kingdom era, so this is not meant disparagingly. These are those songs that show so much promise and goodness, and make me love them, but are kind of an acquired taste so to speak.

20, “BBUSYEO”

I always love BBUSYEO when it shuffles up, but I never like... seek it out, you know? Even if it is a bop. It’s just a silly little hetero love song that includes toilet humor, and it goes. I love that for it!

21. “Come Back Home”

It's all about the build up here. This song has such a beautiful arrangement that builds to something, dare I say, epic. Good background music for taking a dramatic walk when it’s like, -this- close to raining.

22. “To Be Or Not To Be”

This song works in the context of ONEUS mythology and lore but I tend not to really put it on my playlists if I'm simply wanting to experience an emotion or bust out some fun jams. It is a very strange time signature for a jam, but it’s too up-tempo to really be a mood setter.

23. “Intro: Time"

This intro is like... beautiful, but also kind of slutty, and I love that?

24. “A Song Written Easily”

It's good! It's fun! I really like it, I think it's lovely. But it’s not a song I’m going to rec to a friend and assume it will give them an adequate view of what ONEUS is. If anything I’d expect they’d just be like “that was really fun, but it just makes me want to listen to Blood Sweat & Tears.” “and I’d go “yeah me too.”

25. “Twilight”

I overplayed the fuck out of this song when I was first getting into ONEUS, so forgive me for ranking it low. Also, there is a high barrier of entry here for casual listeners even if it is a classic. Do you ever really think about how weird “Twilight” is? Like, the song structure? It’s very weird. I love it.

26. “Stand By”

I decided to make "Stand By" my charity case after seeing a few people dismiss it as their least favorite off Fly With Us, and I wound up loving it so much. That bridge is crazy good! Vocal line blessing us.

27. “Intro: Fly Me to the Moon”

As far as intros go, this is god tier honestly. But it's still only an intro, and I always feel cheated out of a beautiful full song when I hear this. Like, even for an INTRO it feels short.

My Complicated Feelings About A Thousand Stars Tier

28. “A Thousand Stars”

I just made an entirely separate post about this.

That Overenthusiastic Thicc Ssam Ravn Made for Seoho That One Time Tier

Like, there’s a lot here. I like all the parts individually but something about them just doesn’t go down easily.

29. “Youth”

I’ll be honest, I love “Youth” and I think it’s an absolutely beautiful song with a great hook. I’m just firmly out of the demographic for it at this point and that’s a bit alienating. It’s also weak compared to other songs on “DEVIL”

30. “Intro: Devil is in the Details”

It’s a great intro that does some ambitious things, but on its own it doesn’t hold up as well. Intimidating.

31. “Intro: Lived”

I love Leedo and Ravn, but I don't like how this one opens. That said, I love the way this ends.

32. “White Night”

The fact that I had to rank this so low, when it's such a gorgeous ballad, drives home how many pure bangers ONEUS has. I love this song, but I don't really jam out to it, so it's lower in my ranking.

33. “What you doing?”

Please don’t judge me too harshly for this. I just feel like this song could have been performed by another group and there would have been no appreciable difference. I like Cosmik’s songs, but they’re not, in my opinion. the most ONEUS of the ONEUS songs. Which is weird since Cosmik is a bit synonymous with ONEUS. Anyway Keonhee sounds great in this song.

34. “Now”

Same as above, but this one has the added problem of never really going anywhere. That said, the bridge slaps.

35. “Airplane”

I guess one of the proper tracks on Lived had to rank low, and for me it's definitely Airplane. When I listen to it, I have fun, but it's very... how do I put this nicely? Generic. The stages elevated it, absolutely, and otherwise it might rank even lower sadly.

36. “I.P.U.”

I don’t know how to put this nicely, but the only way I want to listen to this song is if ONEUS is singing it in concert, at which point I can imagine it being very emotional. It’s a special song for special occasions and I’m not going to listen to it to have fun.

37. “Outro: Connect with US”

You’d think I’d love the government-assigned SeoJo song, wouldn’t you? I mean, it’s okay.

38. “Eye Contact”

By the time this song hits the chorus, it always gets me and I love it. But the verses leave something to be desired imo. It is firmly a mid-tier song to me, and I feel like this particular musical formula was much better in “Now.” Also please don’t make eye contact with me I have social anxiety.

ZigZag’s Cursed Live Audio Tier

Unfortunate.

39. “Level Up”

WHY is this song so low??? Every time I hear it start I get so hyped up, but I feel like it never delivers on that hype fully. It feels too mid-tempo and generic for what the mix promises. I don't know. I can't explain it. The bridge doesn't lead up to much and that always feels like a betrayal. And because it has so much potential I’m even more disappointed about that.

40. “Intro: Light Us”

I have absolutely no opinion about this intro

41. “English Girl”

I’m way too queer and old for this song. :/

42. “In My Arms”

I don't feel their personalities at all in this song, which makes it stand out from almost all their other tracks. It just doesn't sound like a ONEUS song, to me.

43. “Kiseki”

A rare song that I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography

44. “Koisii”

The other rare song I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography, but also I would fight it if given the opportunity.

#v.opinions #this took... a couple of weeks #enjoy i guess #v.text

4 notes · View notes

rewatchdoctorwho · 5 years ago

Text

My Top 10 Classic Series Episodes

This list was incredibly difficult to compile. You’ll no doubt notice how many of the stories I listed as my favourites from particular Doctors are not present. You’ll likewise notice the complete absence of a couple of Doctors from this list altogether. Ultimately I decided to go with the stories I would automatically think of when considering different eras of the series, even if those particular stories might not be the ones I think are the best or even the ones I like the most. Doubtless many of you will curse my name and hate me forever after reading this list, which is fair.

10. The Seeds of Doom

There are many superbly classic stories from the famous Season 13, but my personal favourite has always been “The Seeds of Doom,” one of the darkest and most horrifying tales Doctor Who has ever told. I mean yeah, it’s more or less ripping off H.P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness and the original Howard Hawkes version of The Thing from Another World, but it’s still wonderfully told and manages to keep the tension ratcheted up throughout all six parts, something very few stories of this time period manage to do. The scenes in the arctic, showing a man slowly transforming into a plant monster, is still quite horrific to this day.

9. Remembrance of the Daleks

A cherished fan-favourite, “Remembrance of the Daleks” is one of the most exciting and action-packed stories of the Classic Series, and carried long-term consequences for the series as a whole and its titular character. Never before had the Doctor seemed so powerful, so intense, and so frightening. There are a lot of subtle hints that the Doctor, in his words, is “more than just another Time Lord,” and while these implications have been more or less overlooked in the modern series, this was the beginning of the controversial “Oncoming Storm” interpretation of the Doctor, and the story would go on to influence the legendary Time War storyline that still resonates throughout the series to this day.

8. The Keys of Marinus

Despite how much I love stories like “The Space Museum” and “The Tenth Planet,” I always find myself going back to “The Keys of Marinus,” what I consider to be the first really good Doctor Who story, and the one that is of high quality through all six installments. I’ve always loved the structure of this story, with the first chapter introducing us to this strange planet and the challenge of the Doctor and his companions having to recover the titular keys that lie scattered across that planet. The next four chapters see us taken to four very different parts of the planet of Marinus, each with a different challenge for our heroes to overcome in their quest to collect the Keys. This also offers the characters rare opportunities to have the screen more to themselves than usual as they pair off to pursue the Keys in different places, giving the actors a change to develop and show off their characters to greater degrees than previously afforded.

7. The War Games

What really makes “The War Games” so notable, beyond its ingeniously-written structure that keeps the dramatic tension up for the entirety of the mammoth ten-part story, is the sheer wealth of mythology the story introduces. We learn for the first time that the Doctor belongs to an alien super-race from the planet Gallifrey call the Time Lords, a race he abandoned after stealing the TARDIS to wander the universe to both of his heart’s content. We see the introduction of the famous Sonic Screwdriver (which is actually used to unscrew something), and witness the beginning of the Doctor’s long exile on Earth as a punishment for breaking the Time Lords’ most sacred rule of noninterference with the timeline of the universe. Virtually the whole of the broader mythology of the series was birthed here, and watching it unfold was an unforgettable experience.

6. City of Death

When most people talk about the magic that was Tom Baker’s performance as the Doctor, scenes from “City of Death” are usually what they’ll reference. Every Doctor Who fan worth their salt can recite the iconic “Wonderful Butler” scene from memory, and the sparkling writing combined with some truly beautiful location photography in Paris make for an endless memorable story. The plot is a brilliant piece of melodramatic science fiction courtesy of the great author Douglas Adams, who penned many of the show’s best stories from the late 1970’s.

5. Tomb of the Cybermen

Patrick Troughton’s Second Doctor is one of my very favourites, and in no other story is everything that is wonderful about this portrayal so well displayed as the legendary “Tomb of the Cybermen.” Aside from the beautiful photography and iconic sequences, this is the episode where the Doctor’s gentler, nobler, and wiser side is first really centre stage, which contrasts wonderfully with the titular Cybermen at their most disturbing and sinister. I was always a fan of the Cybermen, but this story really catapulted them into my number one spot on the list of favourite Doctor Who monsters.

4. Genesis of the Daleks

This is the first story where Tom Baker really got to show us what he could do in Doctor Who, and was (in my opinion) the first step on his road to becoming the greatest Doctor of them all. The legendary moment when he, with the future of the entire Dalek race literally in the palm of his hands, questions whether he has the right to exterminate them just as they have exterminated so many other races, is still talked about as a definitive moment for the character. The story is notable for other reasons too. It fully fleshed out the origin story of the Daleks, something that had only been hinted at in previous stories despite their huge popularity with fans, and introduced what I consider to be the Doctor’s greatest enemy, the megalomaniacal Davros, the father of the Dalek race.

3. The Curse of Fenric

“Curse of Fenric” might just be my favourite Doctor Who story of the 1980’s, and I pin that mostly down to the very strong direction and borderline apocalyptic themes. It’s a prime example of how one can tell a large-scale story on a small-scale budget and location. The elements of gothic horror, Viking mythology, transcendental science fiction and complex emotional drama are blended together seamlessly into one very pleasing package. This is the kind of story that I would have watched over and over again as a child had I known about it then, even if I would have done so from beneath the safety of my blankets. A real masterpiece.

2. The Caves of Androzani

For a lot of the Classic Series, the viewer has to more or less meet the program halfway. The quality of the writing, acting, directing, and especially special effects aren’t always up to the standards we have these days, but if you can overlook that, there’s still a lot of fun to be had. “The Caves of Androzani,” however, need no such contextual crutches. This story holds up unbelievably well even today. The plot is nuanced and sensitive without being too complex, the directing feels very modern with a uniquely strong pace and sense of immediacy, the special effects are pretty strong by Doctor Who standards, and the acting is among the finest the program has seen in the entirety of its history. There’s not a lot I can say about this story I haven’t already spoken about at length, but considering how poor the series would get in the next couple of years following it, it’s emotional clout and thematic weight is even more remarkable.

1. Shada

“This is absolutely unfair; ‘Shada’ was never finished and surely animated reconstructions can’t count” I can hear many of you say. Well it’s my list and “Shada” is my all-time favourite Doctor Who story. Of course it had to be a Tom Baker story, and this story shows off everything that was good (and everything I liked best) about his time on the show. It’s simply a delightful story that takes you into places of complex morality and science fiction madness that few other stories from the Classic Series have dared or done so well.

What I like most about “Shada” is its tone. As we’ve seen, Doctor Who is a show than can tackle a variety of different stories, some light, some dark, some heavy, some silly. But the kind of Doctor Who story I always liked best were the ones that sparkle, the ones that show us just how magical and delightful the Doctor’s life can be, the ones that give us the biggest sense of how wonderful travelling through the universe aboard a spacetime machine that looks like a phone booth on the outside must feel. And “Shada” is by far the best exemplar of this in the Classic Series. Is it the best Doctor Who story ever told? No. Is it the most fun? I say yes. And if you don’t like that, well, I don’t like your tailor.

#doctor who #classic #tom baker #patrick troughton #bbc

20 notes · View notes

weirdmarioenemies · 6 years ago

Photo

Name: Alien Bunnies

Debut: WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$!

Happy Easter! Yup, it’s the time of the year where families all around the globe gather to watch Illumination’s Hop (2012)! The day we celebrate the Easter Bunny, and her miraculous rebirth from a Cadbury Creme Egg (despite being a mammal)! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a good holiday! And if you don’t, well, I hope you have a good day regardless! It never hurts to wish someone a good day... buy yourself some chocolate, though. You deserve it.

Anyway! As I’m sure you’re very aware, this holiday was created in honor of rabbits, because everyone likes rabbits. I think we’re all so used to rabbits as the standard for cute fluffy animals, we forget they’re quite silly!

Japan, on the other hand, is having a great time putting rabbits in space and all that. I’ve talked about the whole Moon Rabbit story before, but to make a long story short, Japan sees the markings on the moon as a rabbit making mochi... so, naturally, rabbits tend to be associated with outer space in general now. Which leads to, for example, the Star Bunnies from Mario Galaxy, or the moon rabbits from Mario Odyssey. But I chose to talk about these guys today, because they’re a lot sillier.

We first meet these funny fellas in the first Warioware for the GBA. In the events of Orbulon’s stage, Orbulon’s ship crashes into a meteor, and he sends a distress signal. These rabbits, which just happened to be passing by, decide to help, by pulling him out from his ship! And so they act as your life counter for the microgames. If you lose a life, one of them will just... fall into the void? Scary. Either way, they’re quite nice to be helping out like this!

Or... not. After they go through all of the trouble of pulling Orbulon up to their ship, they suddenly decide to drop him back to his death. Why? Who knows! All he said was “Earthling, prepare to be dazzled by alien powers!”. Is he speaking to us? Are the rabbits the Earthlings? Do they not want to be dazzled? These guys are morally ambiguous, I’ll tell you what!

In WarioWare Twisted, the bunnies appear as... Orbulon’s minions? When did this happen! I guess as revenge for their betrayal in the first game, Orbulon went and enslaved their people. He is an alien invader first and foremost, after all! Or they’ve always worked for him. Who can tell?

In WarioWare Touched, Mike is overpowered by his irresistible karaoke programming and decides to host an intergalactic karaoke competition on the Bunnies’ homeplanet! For some reason. As you can see, all their buildings are bunny-themed. But, if Mike is the only one doing the singing, is it really karaoke?

Really, these Bunnies have made cameos in a whole bunch of games! Like in WarioWare Gold, where they show up in the game’s tutorials, and lots of cameos I can’t be bothered to list here. But it’s not just WarioWare, either! These characters also make quite a few appearances in the Rhythm Heaven series, which has many of the same devs (including the wonderful character designer)! In fact, the artwork at the top of this post is actually from Rhythm Tengoku... I tricked you all!

I absolutely love Rhythm Heaven, but this post will get too lengthy if I talk about it here and now. So: more Alien Bunnies, under the cut!

In Rhythm Tengoku, they make a few cameos in some remixes, like Remix 7 and 8, where they replace the soldiers from Marching Orders!

In the second game’s Remix 2, you can almost see them in the moon if you squint really hard. Sorry, this is the highest quality pic I could get! And it’s 240p!

Not only that, but they show up in the results screen for Remix 9, along with Play-Yan, and the little alien thing from Spaceball. Wow! It’s a real convention of great characters!

Finally, they’ve got a pretty big appearance in the third and fourth game’s Working Dough 2, where they show up in the background, as well as the results screens! Since this minigame is all Japanese-themed, and features living mochi, it’s a pretty obvious nod to the whole myth. But wait... are these guys from the moon? I thought they lived on that bunny-themed planet! Hm... maybe it’s a colony of sorts? And who’s that tea guy?

Ah, well! Based on all this, I can only reach the conclusion that WarioWare and Rhythm Heaven take place in the same universe! Which means, Rhythm Heaven is legally part of the SMEU (Super Mario Extended Universe)! Sorry, that’s just how it works.

We hope you’re looking forward to our next post, which will be about these things. See you next time!

#mario #mario allies #warioware #wario #warioware inc mega microgames #warioware twisted #warioware touched #rhythm heaven #mod f boy

225 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 4 years ago

Text

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks Review: Sci-Fi Comedy Aims Low And Scores High

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

No one sets out to make a cult movie. Most filmmakers aspire to commercial heights even if they only have the budgets for a B-movie. They see films like Blair Witch realign box office accounting and apply all kinds of quantum physics to mimic the exponential multiplication. Very few achieve it, and the ones which do usually do it by accident, and certainly not with serious intent. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is not afraid to be ridiculous. It joins the ranks as such brave films as Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and Frankenhooker.

It is also so much more than these films, dripping with artistry, and yet considerably less, with masturbating aliens, pussy ping pong, and sphincter-pinching obelisks. Richard Elfman’s sci-fi comedy has an abundance of experimental fun and a happily reckless disregard for taste. It owes as much to Frank Zappa as it does to Frank Capra, and can in some ways be seen as a screwball comedy take on the 1955 film noir classic Kiss Me Deadly. For a silly film, Aliens, Clowns & Geeks summons serious plot twists. It captures the casual surrealism of the Marx Brothers in hyper-speed.

Though it’s not on the level as Forbidden Zone, how could it be? Elfman’s 1980 cult classic ranks way past closing time on the clock of midnight movies. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is still completely original. Unlike other films where low budget hobbles creativity, this uses a lack of funds to its advantage. In some ways this is like Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks!, except done on one-thousandth of the budget and with 1/100th of the stars. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks marks the final feature film role for the late Verne Troyer (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Goldmember, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). His Clown Emperor Beezel-Chugg is a memorable turn. Narcissistic, lethal, and commanding, he is the Emperor of the Nine Planet Federation, and still gets hauled in for Illegal dwarf tossing.

The little clown who gets tossed around is played by Nic Novicki, but don’t feel too bad for him, he takes dirty pictures of nuns in porta-potties in his spare time. George Wendt plays a priest who condemns him to eternal damnation for it. French Stewart (Stargate, 3rd Rock from the Sun) gets the Fickle Finger of Fate Award for being able to maintain an Arte Johnson impression throughout a whole film as the German scientist Professor von Scheisenberg.

Mimicry is only one extra talent the actors bring into their roles. Rebecca Forsythe contorts her voice and face excruciatingly and exquisitely as Swedish lab assistant Helga. She’s studied quantum, subquantum and super-quantum dynamics, and delivers one of the greatest pickup lines in cinema history: “you would be surprised at how incorrect the calculations of many rocket scientists can be.” Her body proves to be equally supple whether during head-banging sex or in one-on-one martial arts combat.

No one quite makes the faces or shrieks the screams quite like Bodhi Elfman, who plays the lead, a jaded actor named Eddy Pine. Bohdi, the actor playing the actor, is a cartoon character masquerading as a person. His cynical Steve Buscemi-esque delivery grounds him even as the only missed opportunity in the film is a Looney Tunes sight gag where hens lay so many eggs they rise to the roof of Porky Pig’s barn.

Happily, the camera turns away when the obelisk is introduced to the film. Whether it is just a worthless novelty or the key to the universe, Eddy’s anus is “the chosen portal.” The Chinese military wants the obelisk, there’s an intergalactic battle between alien clowns and green Martians over it, and Dr. von Scheisenberg wants to melt it down for clean energy. About a foot long, and looking like the Washington Monument with squiggly sub-particle lettering, it is also known as the jamtoid key, and is worth more than a three-picture deal, but “money won’t mean nothing if the world explodes.”

Elfman, who also directed Shrunken Heads, and Modern Vampires, has a background in theater, and uses troupe mentality by casting actors in multiple roles. Anastasia Elfman brings the fire of a true believer to five characters. Helga’s sister Inga is played by Angeline-Rose Troy, who also plays Eddy’s junkie-whore mother. The noises she makes in one particular chase scene is so alien and unexpected, it brings the whole movie to another level. Steve Agee plays Eddy’s recently transitioned Burlesque dancer and bar-owning sister Jumbo, as well as the chicken-suit wearing Eddy Pine. Richard Elfman plays the clown Da-Beep. Martin Klebba is an angry clown captain.

The final character is the original soundtrack, which upstages the action in the best of ways. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks could be called a musical, but not in the same way The Rocky Horror Picture Show is, even if there is gender fluidity flowing through it. For the film, Elfman reunited with the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo, who starred in Forbidden Zone. The score was written by Danny Elfman and Ego Plum. Danny Elfman wrote the theme song to The Simpsons, the music to Nightmare Before Christmas, and did the singing voice of Jack Skellington. Plum is best known for the noises he made for SpongeBob SquarePants and The Ghastly Love of Johnny X, but also plays in the band Mambo Demonico. Consisting of 75 minutes in a ninety-minute movie, the music makes the film unique. The diverse mix of genres makes the movie feel like live performance.

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is laid out in the three-act story structure of classic comedies. It is zany, evoking the feel that logic has been usurped by the most unreasonable intrusions. The film opens on the road. The first victim is a large biker clown who is mind controlled to be some kind of monosyllabic Terminator-style obelisk retrieval machine. Eddy is taking his sorrows for a swim in the deep end of a dive bar. His network series, “Cry Me Dry,” was cancelled a day before it was set to air. Their first encounter is inadvertently suspenseful, as the clueless Eddie chalks up a seemingly random request to another day in Hollywood.

The movie then takes on a science fiction turn while keeping to an LA Noir sensibility, albeit with frenetic sexcapades (“May you procreate and spread your clown seed wide”), campy caricatures, vampy vehicular battles, and trampy throughlines. Masturbating aliens remotely manipulate blond femme fatales with X-box controllers, making the conquest of earth look like a video game. This highlights the depersonalization of battle, intergalactic or terrestrial. This very human alienation is further accentuated every time the green aliens have to get approval from corporate. There are impossibly surreal scenarios, like a ménage à trois scene where Eddy’s on the bottom and the POV shows the two girls on top. The scene ends in a nuclear explosion, topping the fireworks display of the first climax of Deep Throat. There is a head exploding scene which is more over-the-top than Scanners.

As comedy, each of the set ups have great payoffs, and the running gags never trip up, even if Eddy slips into Shakespearean soliloquies before exiting, stage left. Elfman mocks Hollywood itself, pointing out that the Beverly Hills Police Department only takes calls from celebrities while actors kiss ass on Hollywood Boulevard all day. The film even throws in visual sight gags, like a bucket of brains which is kept in a joint compound container labeled “head stuff.” One character is reading a book called “The Strawberry Fields of Heaven by Blossom Elfman.”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks makes no apologies. You just have to go with it. Groucho Marx once advised if nothing else is getting a laugh, “drop your pants.” This turns out to be the greatest weapon of the movie. It saves the day as much as it lowers the bar. It is worshipfully irreverent, and politically incorrect. There is no shame nor the slightest consideration given to cancel culture. “Life is complicated, take if from the guy with a dick in a dress,” we are advised in the film. Even insane biker clowns may not be what they seem. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is silly, goofy, stupidly intelligent, and absolutely what a mad scientist would order.

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks will be opening in a drive-in run, double billed with Forbidden Zone: Director’s Cut. Details will be announced.

Subscribe to Den of Geek magazine for FREE right here!

(function() { var qs,js,q,s,d=document, gi=d.getElementById, ce=d.createElement, gt=d.getElementsByTagName, id="typef_orm", b="https://embed.typeform.com/"; if(!gi.call(d,id)) { js=ce.call(d,"script"); js.id=id; js.src=b+"embed.js"; q=gt.call(d,"script")[0]; q.parentNode.insertBefore(js,q) } })()

The post Aliens, Clowns & Geeks Review: Sci-Fi Comedy Aims Low And Scores High appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3pb5Yi2

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

0 notes

verdigrisprowl · 7 years ago

Text

Jan 12 random movie night - Star Trek Discovery Ep 2 & 3

Tarantulas didn’t like it until they finally got to the science in episode 3.

More importantly: Prowl asked Soundwave if he happens to know what a “covenant” possessing historical and scientific data might be, Smokescreen mentioned he has one.

Soundwave.

Is.

Livid.

Naturally, they’re already plotting a way to get it from Smokescreen.

Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm *Soundwave's got it all set up again, this time with two cubes of random energon, metal, and crystal slivers at his side. Tarantulas already knows he has a mouth. It won't harm anything to lift his mask up juuuust enough to slip them under it.* Tarantulas 9:52 pm *tarantulas is gonna eye that array of snacks as he gets settled again* *he didn't bring anything, never remembers, never thinks to* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm *Soundwave points to the bar. Tarantulas is welcome to take some, if he wants.* Tarantulas 9:57 pm *is stuff just sitting out? otherwise he's actually got the politesse not to take* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm *There are things visible behind the bar itself, and Ravage is there. Besides, he pointed. It's fine.* [[Shall we?]] Tarantulas 9:59 pm *nnnnnnnah tarantulas hasn't ever talked with ravage so he's gonna pass on that* ...Is Prowl not coming? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[He started work today. Might be late. It is the nature of government jobs.]] Tarantulas 10:01 pm Today was his first day? *genuinely didn't know* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm [[...It should be. He was certain he saw paperwork to that effect...]] Tarantulas 10:02 pm Ah, well - I suppose that makes sense, then. *plans to comm him in like, ten minutes if he's not here* Might as well begin then, since he's seen it already, correct? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm [[He has. Very well; let us continue.]] Tarantulas 10:04 pm *gently floofs his fur and settles in* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm *Pats leg. Would Tarantulas care to be a spider or is he fine being himself?* Tarantulas 10:08 pm *brief snicker* Either way. Do /you/ have a preference? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:09 pm [[It /would/ be warmer for both of us. And,]] tiny bobble, [[he suspects he will lose the opportunity to Prowl should Prowl show up.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm [[The one who resists is a fool. They are fearsome individually. They would be more so together.]] Tarantulas 10:13 pm What opportunity? And *huff* I suppose so. The posturing and politics of all this is... not my favorite part. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm [[The stage must be set for the long drama to come. There will be science when it is finished.]] Tarantulas 10:16 pm Very well, very well. But they /could/ just give us a summary. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:17 pm [[He supposes so.]] [[He /was/ closer to these decisions for the duration of the war. That may be why it fascinates him more.]] FakeProwl 10:18 pm *appears* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm [[Ah. There, you see?]] Tarantulas 10:18 pm *jumps, floof* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm *Is accustomed to that by now. Mostly.* FakeProwl 10:19 pm Sorry I'm late. Work. *oh, that feels so good to say. "Sorry I'm late. Work."* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm [[It is good to have you. Do join us.]] FakeProwl 10:20 pm *is there room to sit between them?* Tarantulas 10:20 pm *not quite enough, he'll have to nudge them* FakeProwl 10:21 pm *he's not going to be rude and butt in. he'll stare at the not-quite-big-enough space to see if they decide to make it bigger for him. if not, he'll sit on the outside.* Tarantulas 10:22 pm *it's alright, as soon as tarantulas unfluffs he's jumping up to hug prowl anyhow, purring his name* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm *Soundwave will scoot to make the room* *...Providing Tarantulas doesn't bind him in a little cocoon and hug it all night.* FakeProwl 10:22 pm *oh! okay. hugs back.* *... hugs back very tightly.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:25 pm ((god i love that shot)) Tarantulas 10:25 pm *oh! okay. hugs back tightly also, picks him up a bit* How was work, hmm? *is stepping back and sitting him and prowl down* (( also WAT FakeProwl 10:26 pm *oh! okay. is carried. lifts his knees up to either side of Tarantulas's thighs to make himself easier to carry.* FakeProwl 10:29 pm ((why does klingon always sound like they've got something in their mouths)) Tarantulas 10:29 pm (( marshmallows. too many marshmallows FakeProwl 10:29 pm ((Yes)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm [[Is it classified...?]] *To Prowl.* *Obviously it isn't to him, he's still head of things, but Tarantulas is here, and all.* FakeProwl 10:31 pm Oh—no. Sorry, I was distracted. *he was surrounded by fluff and picked up.* FakeProwl 10:32 pm Just first-day orientation. Touring the headquarters, meeting all the teams. *ugh, second time prowl's seen this scene, and he still hates it.* Tarantulas 10:33 pm (( (whooshing) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm [[No unpleasant incidents?]] FakeProwl 10:35 pm None of any importance. It's obvious a great many of them don't trust or respect me, but for now they're willing to listen to me. Almost all of them were soldiers, they known how to follow the chain of command and I haven't given them a reason to mutiny. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm [[Good. He trusts you will inform him if that changes.]] Tarantulas 10:36 pm It won't. *happy churr* Prowl's already doing splendidly, I'm sure. FakeProwl 10:37 pm One mech in burglary called me "terrorist." I called him "bloodsucker" and that was the end of that. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm *Visible shaking. Oh, that is good to hear.* Tarantulas 10:37 pm Bloodsucker...? FakeProwl 10:38 pm He worked at a pink alchemy facility. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm [[Ah. The... meat energon.]] FakeProwl 10:38 pm Yes. Tarantulas 10:39 pm *snort* I see. FakeProwl 10:41 pm ... Upon watching it a second time, I am still convinced that her mutinous actions had absolutely no bearing on the beginning of the war. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm [[As is he. But scapegoats are handy.]] FakeProwl 10:42 pm Yes. Unfortunately. Tarantulas 10:43 pm *is patiently waiting for when things will actually get interesting for him* FakeProwl 10:44 pm *... wriggles around so he can sit sideways on Tarantulas's lap* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm [[Note to self. Avoid that species.]] FakeProwl 10:45 pm *okay. good.* Tarantulas 10:45 pm *snuggles in with arms around prowl - however his darling wants, of course* FakeProwl 10:46 pm *puts his feet in soundwave's lap* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:51 pm *Oh? He can do with this. The sensors in these probably map well enough to Prowl's physical legs and feet; he'll work on kneading and flexing what he can reach on the outside and rubbing what cables he can get to with his skinny fingers. Hopefully, a soothing reward for a fine first day.* FakeProwl 10:53 pm *Ooh. He'll take it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm *See, Tarantulas. You should have taken his lap offer earlier. Now you'll have to wait until tomorrow at least.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm [[Suspicious Activities, clearly. Capitalized.]] Tarantulas 10:57 pm *is perked up now, ooh* FakeProwl 10:57 pm *long narrow fingers in his legs and fuzz all around his torso. he's going to melt.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:00 pm *If he melts, can he at least notify Soundwave first so he can fetch a bucket? Melted metal's no easy thing to clean up once it dries.* Tarantulas 11:01 pm *silly soundwave, hard light can't melt* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:01 pm *True, true.* FakeProwl 11:02 pm *then prowl will boldly go where no holomatter has gone before* Tarantulas 11:03 pm *squint squint* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:07 pm *As his hands are busy, extrudes his feelers so he can clasp them. He wants to watch the next part a little closer than before.* Tarantulas 11:09 pm (( I LIKE THIS ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm ((thought you might)) FakeProwl 11:09 pm ... He's too obnoxious for his intelligence to be enjoyable. He's arrogant, condescending, and impatient. Tarantulas 11:10 pm Pfft, most scientists are. FakeProwl 11:10 pm Most scientists are tolerably obnoxious. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm [[He is also angry. Some of it is forgivable.]] FakeProwl 11:10 pm I'll forgive him when and if he stops being intolerably obnoxious. Tarantulas 11:11 pm I must admit I find it strangely charming, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm *Plucks some of the slivers out and slides them beneath the mask. Munch munch.* *And back to clasp.* FakeProwl 11:12 pm *... sssideglance* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm *Nothing much to see, sorry. There's just a tiny gap at the bottom.* FakeProwl 11:12 pm *hot.* Tarantulas 11:13 pm *mandibles fluttering excitedly* FakeProwl 11:14 pm *... also hot.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm *Amuses himself while the beast runs by sticking a sliver up near the mandibles to see if they catch it on accident* Tarantulas 11:15 pm *u better believe his chelicerae reach out and snatch it* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm [[...He should show more of the Alien movies.]] *The scene reminds him of it.*

*Oooh. Fascinating. He'll have to do that again some time.* Tarantulas 11:16 pm *giggling* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:17 pm [[And the Alice human in her Wonderland.]] [[It is fantastically nonsensical.]] FakeProwl 11:17 pm How nonsensical? Tarantulas 11:17 pm It's a lovely and masterful piece of work, that's what. FakeProwl 11:18 pm ... I hope they can reconcile. Tarantulas 11:19 pm I rather like the tension their interactions bring. FakeProwl 11:20 pm *then Tarantulas has never experienced that kind of tension.* Tarantulas 11:20 pm *nnnnnope* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:21 pm [[Quite nonsensical. But intriguing. He suspects he would understand it better if he were more versed in human history.]]

[[...As for the tension, it is good to see it be on someone else's plate.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm *Watches Tarantulas' reaction to this.* Tarantulas 11:23 pm *the mandibles are still now* Tarantulas 11:25 pm Oh /please/, not the damn fortune cookies. Please tell me that won't become a theme. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:25 pm [[It isn't.]] FakeProwl 11:25 pm That's a cookie? Tarantulas 11:25 pm Good. Because they have /much/ better content to focus on now. FakeProwl 11:26 pm I thought it was a nut. Tarantulas 11:26 pm And yes, it's a fairly simple confectionery. (( i've made fortune cookies before heee FakeProwl 11:27 pm ... You can't learn that the "real world" doesn't adhere to logic from a fictional book. Books are not the "real world." And the real world ALWAYS adheres to logic. Tarantulas 11:28 pm *taps claws together* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:29 pm [[We have one more before we are caught up to Bevel's schedule, but we will have to fit it in tomorrow.]]

[[Books can /reflect/ the world.]] ((cause i could squeeze it in and only run 15 over but puff was talking sleep deprivation earlier so i don't wanna do that)) FakeProwl 11:30 pm If a book teaches a lesson of which one cannot find evidence in the real world, then that lesson is highly suspect. Tarantulas 11:30 pm I'm so /pleased/ they kept the specimen. The tissue distortion, it must be - *excited rambling to no one in particular* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *Casually recording the rambling* FakeProwl 11:30 pm *same* Tarantulas 11:31 pm *he's off in his own world now, eventually pauses to think of something and just ends up silent, with a clawtip to his mandibles* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:32 pm *Looks to Prowl and bobs his helm, looks at Tarantulas, and back to Prowl. That is oddly precious, no?* FakeProwl 11:32 pm *EXTREMELY.* *do you see. do you see why he's so irresistible.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:34 pm *He has been starting to pick up bits and pieces of it. Certain habits are more irritating than the others, but things like the scientific rambling and the lost silence are attractive enough.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:35 pm *Lets go of the leg with one hand to hold one finger up - not high, just above Prowl's leg - and tap the air twice. Perhaps Prowl should conduct an experiment of his own and see what happens if he touches them right now?* FakeProwl 11:36 pm *... what, touch tarantulas's legs? he's already sitting on tarantulas's legs. or is prowl supposed to move his legs?* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:36 pm *Touch his /mandibles/.* *Points carefully in their direction without moving his hand overmuch.* FakeProwl 11:37 pm *yknow what, prowl's been fighting the urge for the past hour. why not?* *caaarefully reaches up. delicately taps.* Tarantulas 11:38 pm *yanno those cartoons where the characters startle and ripple up vertically in waves. that's tarantulas's mandibles and fur right now* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:38 pm *Huffing.* Tarantulas 11:39 pm *grasps at prowl's hand* W-what? Were you saying something? FakeProwl 11:39 pm *his face may be poker but his shoulders are trembling.* Ah—no. Sorry. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:40 pm *Pings Prowl gratitude and amusement.* FakeProwl 11:40 pm ... Although, on the subject of interesting specimens—I'm so sorry to hear you never got that snipe you requested. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:40 pm *Puts his hand back on the leg all innocent-like while listening. He never encouraged a thing, no sir.* FakeProwl 11:41 pm *... laces fingers through paw fuzz. ahh. good.* Tarantulas 11:41 pm *a split second, then a sudden snort-laugh* How did you even hear about that? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:41 pm [[...What do you want with a sharpshooter?]] Tarantulas 11:41 pm Maybe we ought to have Soundwave retrieve one, since Smokescreen couldn't. FakeProwl 11:42 pm Hff. No, no. He apparently saved your name on my comm frequency. I let him ramble. Tarantulas 11:42 pm *raised visor. wwwwhat else might he have heard* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:42 pm *Retrieve a sniper? Not his usual fare, but he supposes he could dig through his files. He knows a Bluestreak that's... well, they're touchy about his past, but they do owe him from several past favors...* FakeProwl 11:44 pm On a related note—do get that tranquilizer from him. We need the formula and the specifications for the injector. Kindly don't let him know I'm interested, he might just refuse out of spite. Or, worse—call me. Tarantulas 11:45 pm I wouldn't, of course not. Pft. Though I doubt he's about to find the tranquilizer anytime soon based on the state of his quarters. ...I might could... FakeProwl 11:45 pm Oh, he said he's getting Bumblebee to help clean it. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:46 pm [[Tranquilizer? One moment. He thought you were done planning to do things like sedation assassinations.]] FakeProwl 11:46 pm I am. It's formulated to take out Phase Sixers. It's a defense measure, that's all. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm [[Then the sniper is only on standby?]] Tarantulas 11:47 pm Oh no, a /snipe/. It's for an experiment. FakeProwl 11:47 pm ... The wh... Tarantulas, no! Tarantulas 11:47 pm *copious snickering* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm *Looking between them, more than a little confused.* FakeProwl 11:48 pm Snipe hunt. Sending someone on a "snipe hunt" means sending them on a fruitless search for something that isn't real. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:48 pm *Helm tilt. Proceeds to display at least a dozen varieties of the Earth bird called a snipe.* FakeProwl 11:48 pm Tarantulas asked Smokescreen to retrieve a creature that doesn't... Huh. Maybe it DOES exist. That's not what the phrase means, though. Tarantulas 11:49 pm That's the irony of it, hyeh. But I wouldn't say snipe hunts are fruitless. They certainly produce hilarity, that counts for something. FakeProwl 11:49 pm Really? Snipes are real? Tarantulas 11:50 pm Would you actually believe me if I said yes? *visor quirk* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:50 pm [[Smokescreen produces hilarity every time he attempts to process so much as a single thought.]] *Fuzzy-thought muttering.* FakeProwl 11:51 pm ... I honestly don't know. Well. One mech's hilarity is another mech's unceasing frustration. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:52 pm [[Oh, it's both.]] FakeProwl 11:52 pm ... Mm. *focuses on Soundwave* He mentioned something else of interest. I didn't recognize it, maybe you will. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm [[Unrelated to snipes and tranquilizers, he takes it? The latter being something he would like to hear more about soon.]] *Glance at Tarantulas. What are you planning to do with it in the defense preparation sense?* *Your wiggly-legged spidery mind is still somewhat of a mystery at times.* Tarantulas 11:54 pm *good, just as intended* FakeProwl 11:55 pm He's made reference a couple of times now—once to a Constructicon, once to me while he thought he was talking to Tarantulas—to possessing some sort of covenant? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:55 pm *SNAPS BACK TO PROWL*

[[What.]] Tarantulas 11:55 pm Oh, *hff* That. FakeProwl 11:56 pm He thinks it's important enough that it was worth mentioning while trying to convince Scavenger of how absolutely important he was, which is reason enough to think he might have been lying—but he also mentioned it to Tarantulas. Whatever it is, it apparently possesses historical data and something of scientific complexity? Admittedly, scientific complexity beyond Smokescreen's understanding, which likely isn't very complicated at all. He's from a universe like yours, have you heard of it? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:57 pm [[/Has he heard of--!?/]] ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm *No. No. Calm the thoughts. Nice and still. Icy cold. Peace and tranquility.*

*Long, long vent. The kind you perform when you are attempting to hold on to your composure under very trying circumstances.* Tarantulas 11:58 pm *tarantulas is highly amused by this for whatever reason* FakeProwl 11:58 pm ... I take it you have. Today ItsyBitsySpyers 12:00 am *Gonna just. Clip his mask down.*

*This thought is slow and as crystal clear as someone else translating them can get.*

[[Do you mean to tell him that /boundlessly idiotic/ mech claims to have gotten his citrus-infested hands on the Covenant of Primus?]] Tarantulas 12:02 am Oh, no, it's not a claim. FakeProwl 12:02 am I take it it /is/ important. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:02 am *Holds a finger up. Hold on, Prowl.*

[[What do you mean, it's not a claim? How do you know?]] Tarantulas 12:03 am You tell me more about it and I'll tell you what I know. *visor smileeee* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:03 am [[Tell him what you know first and he will tell you twice what you would get the other way.]] Tarantulas 12:05 am *snickering* Very well. He's shown it to me and read from it for me upon request, a very small and selective excerpt though. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am *Soundwave carefully extricates his hands from Prowl's legs and settles them on his own knee guards.* Tarantulas 12:06 am I have a raincheck on asking him more about whatever I like at any time, of course. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am *This is good, because they squeak softly in protest seconds later.* FakeProwl 12:06 am *he thinks he should withdraw his legs. soundwave's having a moment.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am [[Please wait. He has recent footage to double-check.]] FakeProwl 12:07 am ... If you need knees to crush that can't actually be injured, mine are available. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:11 am *Places them back on Prowl's legs. He is not /crushing/ the avatar's knees - that would be unnecessarily cruel, what with the sense transfers and all - but they are definitely being held in a high tension grip.*

*Aaaaand now his armor is flared out just a tad.*

[[Smokescreen. Has. A Primal relic. /Smokescreen./]] *Little bit more.* [[The mech who thinks everyone is his friend, defines the word gullible with his presence, and has absolutely /no sense of discretion./]] FakeProwl 12:12 am What's the significance of this relic, exactly? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:12 am *Some days, he finds his oath sorely tested. This is one of the worst.* FakeProwl 12:13 am ... If you need, I can turn off my tactile receptors. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:13 am [[It belonged to Alpha Trion. Here, before his death, and before Shockwave lost it. He does not know the status of theirs. It is--]] *Pause.* [[Yes, please.]] FakeProwl 12:13 am *and off.* Go on. *to both the explaining and the squeezing.* Tarantulas 12:16 am *listening intently and with barely-constrained amusement* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:17 am *CRUNCH.*

[[It /was/ Alpha Trion's duty to act as an--]] *Glance to Tarantulas. Apparently Smokescreen was stupid enough to read to him from it and promise more. Might as well now.* [[As an unparalleled chronicler. Before he became invested in meddling with Orion Pax. The Covenant and Quill were his tools.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 12:19 am [[No ordinary mech may use the Quill and the Covenant is difficult for any mech to read. Shockwave gave him fragments of languages he has never even heard of before, taken from the earliest pages.]] FakeProwl 12:19 am *winces. he's going to just, not look at his legs, at all. he doesn't want to know.* So, it's what—the best history textbook on Cybertron? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:20 am [[You could say that.]]

@Prowl: [[And the best deposit of knowledge of the future.]] FakeProwl 12:21 am @Soundwave «Come again.» ItsyBitsySpyers 12:22 am @Prowl: [[It is a relic of the Primes. It contains information on what has not yet happened. The few segments that could be understood have all since passed.]] FakeProwl 12:22 am *... prowl wants to interface with it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:22 am *WHAT DO YOU THINK /HE/ WANTS TO DO* *...Among other things.* FakeProwl 12:23 am ... Hmm. An extremely valuable repository of knowledge, then. FakeProwl 12:24 am And a /moron's/ got it. Does he have a legal right to it? I'd think that, with something like that, there might be laws in place that declare it property of the public. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:25 am [[He has sought rumors of it and the Quill's locations since its loss.]] *And ached to be responsible for it should it be rediscovered.* [[That /that/ mech should be allowed to--]]

*He's having a realization.*

[[He's had it for weeks. The argument on the datanet--]] Tarantulas 12:25 am *tarantulas is sneaking a peek at prowl's knees, the crushing was distracting for some reason* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:26 am *Those holoknees are Gone, Tarantulas. Strength 8 and small points of pressure because thin fingers.* FakeProwl 12:26 am Argument? *he's kind of. got his head tipped up. so he can't see.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:30 am [[Smokescreen taunted him with claims that he was unworthy of finding or maintaining the Covenant himself and said that he had secret knowledge of the rules surrounding its existence. He thought it was Smokescreen talking out of his aft with the usual immaturity...]] FakeProwl 12:31 am *sneers* It probably still IS talking out of his aft with immaturity. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:31 am [[Smokescreen has been /bringing it to movie nights,/ in fact. Knowing that it would slip under his radar because he didn't believe it possible. More taunting.]]

*More denting.* FakeProwl 12:32 am He worked for Alpha Trion. It was probably phased into one of his doors millions of years ago and he just now figured out how to get it out, and he thinks that this makes him "worthy" of it and privy to deep secrets about its nature. Tarantulas 12:32 am *staring at prowl's legs, but hums* I could steal it, you know. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:32 am *SNAP* *Your turn to be stared at, spide.* FakeProwl 12:33 am ... No. Hold on. Who has a right to it? What laws pertain to its ownership? Tarantulas 12:34 am Primus, I could probably ask him if I could borrow it and he'd lend it to me, laws aside. FakeProwl 12:35 am If he does, then that's fine. That's perfectly legal. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:35 am [[There are none - at least, not here. It was only a rumor until Shockwave acted on his theories, stormed the Hall, and took Alpha Trion prisoner. He only had it a short while, and...]] *Shakes his helm.* [[Nobody else has owned it. What laws could there be?]]

[[It shouldn't have to be borrowed. It shouldn't be given back to that rustbug at all.]] FakeProwl 12:36 am If there are no laws about it—then, as Alpha Trion's last student, he DOES have the strongest legal claim to it. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:37 am *UGH.* FakeProwl 12:37 am He doesn't deserve it, but he's got the right to it. Tarantulas 12:37 am Borrowed and conveniently lost, maybe? That's breaking no rules. FakeProwl 12:37 am That's stealing, Tarantulas. So buy it from him. Trick him into a disadvantageous trade. Whatever. But do it legally. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:38 am [[...The Quill. Does he have the Quill? Has he mentioned it to either of you?]] FakeProwl 12:38 am A moronic legal trade is still a legal trade. He hasn't mentioned a quill. Tarantulas 12:38 am *a shake of his helm* Unfortunately not, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:39 am [[That is a small comfort.]]

*But only a small one. Who knows what he's reading to everyone?* FakeProwl 12:40 am *mutters* It's phased up his aft, maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:41 am [[He wouldn't wish the company of Smokescreen's brain module on anyone.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 12:42 am *Vents, harsher this time.*

[[His helm aches.]] *Putting it mildly. He's about to have some kind of aneurysm or something. He knows it. Twenty-five million years of bullshit and this is finally the ruby on the slag cake.* [[He should - recharge.]] FakeProwl 12:43 am ... Do you want company? Tarantulas 12:43 am *if sw's actually gonna recharge tara will eat his... something* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:43 am [[Yes. Yes, he does.]]

*Tara can take the unfinished cube, if he wants it. Soundwave didn't get around to it. Too busy being entertained by Tarantulas' reaction to the Science.* FakeProwl 12:44 am *right. he'd probably better reset his legs, then.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:44 am *Everything else here is off-limits for eating. Ask Bob the Insecticon. And that one Predacon. Chairs are forbidden snacks.* Tarantulas 12:45 am *oh booo. tarantulas was hoping he could snatch prowl up after this* *he'll take that cube, thanks* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:46 am *Moves to pull his hands free of the knees.*

*Does not move far.*

*Looks down.* [[...Hmm.]] FakeProwl 12:46 am *what's soundwave looking at? prowl already fixed his...* Oh! Sorry! *switches to normal hologram. poof, he's a ghost.* Tarantulas 12:47 am *shuddering with hushed snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:47 am [[Thank you. That was... an unpleasant sight.]] *Also shuddering a little.* FakeProwl 12:48 am Sorry. *... now he's incorporeally on tarantulas's lap. he's going to catch some fur in his thighs if he goes back to solid* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:48 am [[He prefers to leave phase shifter messes to mechs who /don't deserve vital relics/.]] *Which is not to say he does, because he's often convinced he doesn't at all. But he damn sure believes Smokescreen doesn't.* FakeProwl 12:49 am *he's going to... just, flicker off and back on standing in front of the couch* Tarantulas 12:49 am You know, I could probably borrow that, too. The phase shifter, I mean. I don't know why I /haven't/ yet, actually. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:50 am *Anyway. He stands and nods to them both.*

[[He will be upstairs. Tarantulas, there is one more tomorrow. And no need to borrow it. Smokescreen owes him a use.]] Tarantulas 12:50 am *stretches out when prowl flickers off* FakeProwl 12:50 am Don't push your luck. By the sound of it, the covenant's more important. And don't borrow the covenant, either, until we come up with a proper plan to ensure he won't have a right to ask for it back. Tarantulas 12:51 am Of course not, I'm not that foolish. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:51 am *Fuzzy thought muttering again.* [[We could go to the Core and question Primus' life choices.]] Tarantulas 12:52 am *gets up and starts to waltz off with the cube* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:52 am *He knows better than that, though. Another nod to each, and a small bow for both for putting up with him - a thank-you ping for Tarantulas' confirmation as well - and he's trudging upstairs.* FakeProwl 12:53 am We have no evidence Primus had anything to do with it. It's more likely terrible luck. *follows after Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:53 am *Terrible, horrible, awful, rotten luck of the most forsaken variety.* Tarantulas 12:54 am *bids them goodnight and is out - he'll try to comm prowl later, most likely*

#chat

3 notes · View notes

cinema-tv-etc · 7 years ago

Link

33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About The Making Of Galaxy Quest Gordon Jackson Mar 21, 2016,

Galaxy Quest could have been a forgettable Star Trek spoof — but instead, it's become a beloved science fiction comedy, which has been voted one of the best Star Trek movies of all time. How did this miracle happen? Here's everything you ever wanted to know about the making of Galaxy Quest.

For this article, we drew on a number of sources, including DVD featurettes and old magazines from the time of the movie's release — but one source in particular was absolutely indispensible. MTV's Jordan Hoffman put together the Oral History of Galaxy Quest a couple years ago, and it's essential reading.

1. Harold Ramis was originally asked to direct the film under the title "Captain Sunshine".

Ramis wanted Kevin Kline, Steve Martin or Adam Baldwin to star, but when Disney insisted on Tim Allen, he dropped out of the project.

2. Sigourney Weaver wasn't by any means the first choice to play Tawny/Gwen — because she had already done too much science fiction.

As she told Starburst Magazine in 2000:

"I'd heard about this and I had asked my agent about it," she recalls. "He'd told me that they didn't want anyone from Science Fiction in the movie — only Science Fiction virgins as it were. "I said, 'That's silly because if anyone can spoof Science Fiction, surely it's me!' Then to my surprise I was offered the part. I had always wanted to work with Tim Allen, I was a big fan, and Alan Rickman was somebody I really admired and I fell in love with the script.

"It was really about something more than just the people in it. It was that great sort of Wizard of Oz story of these people feeling so incomplete in the beginning, and then during the course of this adventure they come out almost like the heroes they pretended to be in the first place. "

3. Tim Allen believed Galaxy Quest would launch his second career as a science fiction actor.

He told Starlog Magazine in 2000:

"I love it. It's my favourite thing. Galaxy Quest was a baby step for me. I like other scripts that are a bit more serious, but I'm doing this first. It's really funny right up front, then gets more serious. There's enough SF that they allowed me to do it. While it's not quite you expect from me. Technically, it isn't what I would want, which would be a Larry Niven sort of thing. It isn't right on, but it's a Saturday afternoon, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine kind of dramatic science fiction"

4. The alien Laliari was cast late in the process

According to casting director Debra Zane in an interview with Backstage:

"The filmmakers had a difficult time finding a woman who could 'be Thermian in the same way as actors Enrico Colantoni, Rainn Wilson, and Jed Rees. Missi Pyle remembers that Zane showed her the first minute of Rees' audition, to give her a sense of the tone the filmmakers were looking for. "Missi saw it and got it immediately," says Zane. "And then we came into the audition room, and we taped her, and she was so great that when I sent the audition tape to Dean Parisot, the director, on her picture and résumé, I put a little Post-it…. I actually made a Xeroxed copy of my Casting Society of America membership card, and I said, 'If this is not Laliari, I will resign from the CSA.'"

Stephen Spielberg liked Laliari so much he asked that her role be expanded to include a romantic subplot with Tony Shaloub.

33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About the Making of Galaxy Quest 5. Tony Shaloub auditioned for Guy Fleegman, but was offered Fred Kwan.

According to MTV, he told them:

"I'm not going to play an Asian guy, but I'll play a guy that plays an Asian. How about that?"

Director Dean Parisot expounds on this:

"Tony brought up David Carradine in "Kung Fu" [another example of a non-Asian actor playing an Asian character] and the story goes — I don't know if it's true — that David Carradine was completely stoned all of the time on that show. Dialogue would just come out of his head and people would just stare at each other and think, "Where did that come from?" We knew we couldn't do a stoner because we needed to hit a PG-13, but we basically suggested that."

6. Sam Rockwell nearly dropped out of the project but was convinced by Kevin Spacey to stay onboard.

In a twist of fate, Tim Allen opted to make Galaxy Quest over Bicentennial Man.

7. The "Pig Lizard" was a full body puppet.

See above! Eyeholes for the actor inside were located inside the creature's mouth, on its soft palette. 8. Sigourney's "F" bomb during the "chompers" scene in the hallway had to be dubbed over in order to secure a PG-13 rating.

She still clearly mouths, "Fuck that!", if you look closely. 9. Alan Rickman provided input into the prosthetic that Dr. Lazarus wears.

It was designed by artists at the Stan Winston studio. As he told Starburst Magazine in 2000: "I thought it was important for it to be good enough to convince the aliens who believe we're the real thing, but also cheesy enough to imagine that it was something he applied himself." 10. Rickman also felt it would ring hollow if his character had been knighted, and asked for a few script revisions.

In the credits, Dr. Lazarus is still credited as "Sir Alex Dane." 33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About the Making of Galaxy Quest 11. On set, Alan Rickman found Tim Allen incredibly off-putting:

"Tim Allen used to kick the door open to the make-up trailer. We would be all lined up and he would say. 'Number one is here!'"

12. Tim Allen hectored Sigourney Weaver the entire production to sign his highly coveted piece of the Nostromo from Alien.

She finally did, writing: "Stolen by Tim Allen; Love, Sigourney Weaver". According to Weaver:

"He was so upset. "Why would you write that?! I was going to put it in my screening room!" Which was such a Hollywood thing to say."

While filming, the entire cast attended a 20th Anniversary screening of Alien. 13. Dean Perisot was driven to create a passable episode of Star Trek:

"At the risk of sounding pretentious, there are a whole lot of themes playing in there. The movie needed to begin as a mockery and end as a celebration. That's a hard thing to do. Part of the mission for me was to make a great "Star Trek" episode."

14. According to Tim Allen, his performance was based on Yul Brynner:

"When I was in that Captain's chair I was not mimicking William Shatner, with whom I'm now friends [with] because of this movie. I liked the way Yul Brynner sat in his throne in "The Ten Commandments." I worked off of that. I studied that. Well, I rented the tape."

15. Screenwriter Robert Gordon didn't intend to write a family film:

"There's talk about the so-called R-rated version of the film. When I originally wrote it, I wasn't thinking about a family film, just what I wanted to see. So when the ship lands in the convention hall in the original draft it decapitates a bunch of people. There was also stuff we shot where Sigourney tries to seduce some of the aliens. It was cut — and that's why her shirt is ripped at the end."

Also, Alan Rickman's famous catch-phrase "By Grabthar's Hammer" was a temp line. But it was ultimately kept in when Robert Gordon couldn't think of anything better, Gordon told MTV. 16. Production designer Linda DeScenna was delighted to work on a film so different from the sci-fi aesthetics of the late 1990s.

· As she told Starlog:

One of the reasons I wanted to do Galaxy Quest was because it didn't have to be real, hi-tech and vacuformed: it could be, you know, kind of tacky. We were going to use blue and violet, but we ended up with the same colour of grey, just three different values. When I start a movie, aside from the things you would normally focus on, like how to lay out a set to accommodate the action, etc., etc., is colour. If you look at Mouse Hunt, which I designed, every single prop, every single piece of wardrobe, everything is keyed to three colours. In this movie, we have Sarris' world, where everything is green. So when Sarris' men are aboard the ship, they stand out, because everybody else is in grey and they're green. So when we go into the real world on this movie, everything stays with the steel blues and the greens. My thing is colour: That's what I get most excited about.

17. The film's aspect ratio switches from 1.85:1 to 2.35:1 when the ship lands on Thermia.

18. The "chompers" scene was not inspired by an old science-fiction series

Instead, it came from the whirring blades of 1997's Event Horizon.

19. The alien warlord Sarris was reportedly named after film critic Andrew Sarris.

Mr. Sarris had vocally disliked producer Mark Johnson's previous film, The Natural. Hearing of this, Sarris responded that the movie "probably won't make enough money for me to sue for $US10 ($13) million."

20. Sarris's eye patch is a nod to General Chang from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

21. Guy Fleegman was named after Guy Vardaman.

Vardaman had played several no-name characters in Star Trek: The Next Generation. He also served as the occasional stand-in for Brent Spiner and Wil Wheaton. After seeing the finished film, Guy Vardaman "just about fell out of the chair". 22. Roger Dean's album cover for Yessongs influenced the design of the Thermian station:

23. The Robot on stage with Guy at the beginning of the movie was recycled from 1992's Toys: 24. The sound for the Protector's automatic doors was taken from the video game Ultimate Doom.

This is according to IMDB, anyway.

25. It's a myth that the Rock Monster is thought to be an homage to the "twenty rock men" that William Shatner wanted for the finale of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier , but were cut due to budgetary reasons.

Screenwriter Robert Gordon denies this commonly cited myth: "The rock monster is not really a reference to [the cut scenes of the rock monsters in the William Shatner-directed "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier."] I've read about it since. But, yeah, I would say the Gorn [the famous lizard creature Shatner fights on a desert planet while the crew watches from the ship] was very much on my mind. Plus the transporter malfunction and taking the ship out of dock, winking at "Star Trek: The Motion Picture." In fact, the early drafts were called "Galaxy Quest: The Motion Picture." There are some other direct sci fi things in there. "Westworld," with Yul Brenner, is one of my favourites. When Quellek [Patrick Breen] says, "I'm shot," that's a direct reference to James Brolin in "Westworld." The little blue babies are a nod "Barbarella," cute and then mean. When Jason triggers the Omega 13, I was inspired by the end of "Beneath the Planet of the Apes." And the few clips you see of the original show, what Dean did was so great, he really made the camera moves and the recycled sets look like old, cheap "Star Trek." I wish you could see more of it in the film."

26. Creature designer Jordu Schell shared his concept art for the "cute-but-deadly" aliens on his now-defunct website.

They are very different from the final form of the creatures, and can be seen here. 27. Liliari is mentioned by name in John Updike's novel, Rabbit Remembered.

Because Updike was apparently a fan of the movie. 28. To promote the film, E! aired a mockumentary on the cultural impact of the Galaxy Quest TV series

The whole thing is here:

29. An intentionally crappy-looking fansite was used to promote the film.

And to maintain the pretense that there had been a Galaxy Quest TV series. The site contained reviews of the Five Best Episodes of Galaxy Quest, as decided by its Webmaster, the fictitious "Travis Latke":

30. In a 2000 issue of Starlog, Sigourney Weaver compared Sarris and the Thermians to the Kosovo War:

'This guy Sarris is so bad," Weaver exclaims."He really is a sadist; [he's committing] genocide against these creatures. What he's doing to these people is just what we read in the news, with the invasion of Kosovo. Get rid of them, wipe them out, for no other reason than they're there and he feels like it."

31. Costume Designer Albert Wolsky posted artwork for another alien character apparently cut from the film

"This alien has claw-like hands and a face with some human features." Concept art can be seen at the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences website.

32. The Rock Monster scenes were filmed at Utah's Goblin Valley State Park.

The area's eroded sandstone dunes, called "stone babies" provided the inspiration for the planet's cute-but-killer native aliens. It's a popular camping area and visitors are known to play laser tag amongst the rocks on full moons.

33. Star Trek may have returned the favour by borrowing from Galaxy Quest.

At least, some fans feel Star Trek: Enterprise plagiarized the look of film's Fatu-Krey when they introduced a new alien race, the Xindi-Reptilians. The Xindi-Reptilians are green, and retain the spider-like appendages radiating from theirheads.

Sources: Starlog, MTV, Starburst Magazine, DVD featurettes, and other sources as linked

https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2016/03/33-secrets-you-probably-never-knew-about-the-making-of-galaxy-quest/

"Pig Lizard" Suit Movement Test #2 - Stan Winston Studio Behind the Scenes

youtube

#superlist #Galaxy Quest

1 note · View note

aliceproject899-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Marvel characters missing from movie which you want to see.

Like most superhero movies, Captain America: Civil War is based on a comic book series, and like most comic book adaptations, there’s LOADS missing from the original story. A huge comic crossover, Civil War involved pretty much every major (and minor) character in Marvel’s universe, including Avengers cut from the movie (Thor) and superheroes you’d never have thought should even be in the movie (The Punisher). But doesn’t missing out loads of characters change the story a bit? Let’s take a look at some of the major Civil War superheroes who didn’t make it into the Russos’ adaptation and how they might have changed the outcome.

11. Wolverine/X-Men

Comic: Despite declaring official neutrality during Civil War (the X-Men have their own established plotline - House Of M - to deal with in their Civil War branded titles), Wolverine plays an important part in proceedings - investigating the events that led up to the conflict, and discovering the conspiracy at its heart. He was also a key part of the anti-registration movement, comparing Stark’s plan to the Mutant Registration Act.

Movie: Despite Hugh Jackman making it intensely clear he wants to see Fox’s X-Men crossover with the Marvel’s Avengers, it seems he’s going to retire from the role - Wolverine 3 will be his curtain call - long before that happens. They certainly don’t show up in Captain America: Civil War.

10. The Punisher

Comic: Frank Castle is a key player in Marvel’s Civil War, despite the fact it takes him a while to get involved. Initially not particularly bothered about the concept of a war between heroes (he saw worse in Vietnam) he decides to join the fray when Stark’s side starts using criminals to enforce the registration act. He sides with Team Cap, and even saves Spider-Man’s life.

Movie: Civil War’s key themes - vengeance and consequences - fit The Punisher so perfectly, it feels like a massive waste Jon Bernthal, so brilliant in Daredevil, wasn’t on the cast list.

9. Thor/Ragnarok

Comic: During the first battle between the two sides, the former friends hold back from hurting each other. So S.H.I.E.L.D. unleashes Codename Lightning - Thor, previously presumed dead - to fight against the anti-registration army. After Thor kills superhero Goliath, significantly upping the stakes for everyone, it’s revealed the Norse god is actually a malfunctioning clone, named Ragnarok.

Movie: Thor’s missing from Civil War, presumably because it’d be an unfair advantage to have a god on whichever side he chose. However, we may see elements - evil clone? - from this plot in the upcoming solo movie Thor: Ragnarok.

8. Iron Fist

Comic: After Daredevil is arrested by Tony Stark for refusing to register his identity - a silly scene that makes the most of Murdock’s religious background - Iron Fist (Danny Rand) takes off his weird pirate costume and puts on Murdock’s leather onesie to take up the mantle of Daredevil, keeping Hell’s Kitchen safe while its champion is behind bars. No-one seems to notice the fact Daredevil suddenly has mad kung fu skills.

Movie: Iron Fist is coming to Netflix, but hasn’t landed quite yet, so it would be difficult to include him in the MCU. But would it have killed them to include a quick shot of Daredevil listening to a news report about the Sokovia Accord? C’mon!

7. Reed Richards/The Fantastic Four

Comic: Reed Richards (and, initially, the entire Fantastic Four) sides with Stark, helping him build a prison in the Negative Zone to store every superpowered hero who refuses to register. Named Project 42, before being renamed Prison 42, it’s extremely divisive - even amongst pro-registration members. Combined with the murder of Goliath, it leads to a split in the Fantastic Four, with Johnny and Sue joining anti-registration forces.

Movie: There is a prison in Civil War, but you’ll have to see the movie to find out who ends up there. Speaking of prisons, the Fantastic Fox remain at 20th Century Fox - for now.

6. Thunderbolts

Comic: Baron Zemo’s Thunderbolts were approached by Iron Man, Reed Richards, and Yellowjacket, initially to help them track down supervillains, convincing them to register in exchange for clean records. Soon, there’s an ‘Army of Thunderbolts’, including Venom, Lady Deathstrike, Taskmaster, Bullseye, Jester and Jack O’Lantern, who are guys licensed by the government to track down unregistered heroes (think Suicide Squad, but with more Venom-drool).

Movie: Only Baron Zemo survives this plot-thread in the big screen version, which is a pretty big missed opportunity. Civil War introduces a rebooted version of Spider-Man, why not chuck an MCU Venom in there too?

5. New Warriors

Comic: The New Warriors are extremely important in Millar’s Civil War, mainly because they kick-start the whole thing. During a televised take-down of a bunch of supervillains, the team fails to prevent an explosion that kills 612 civilians, including 60 children - and the team themselves.

Movie: In the film, Cap’s team causes the incident - which is much smaller than the comic, but still significant. It’d be a big ask to incorporate New Warriors into the MCU at this late stage, but, as a comic fan, I wish they’d found another way to make it work - one that doesn’t make Cap look like a bad leader.

4. Norman Osborn

Comics: Despite the fact Osborn has beenthe villain in more Spider-Man movies than any other character, they’ve barely touched the surface of his multiple roles in the comics. From Iron Patriot, to leader of the Dark Avengers, to his role in Civil War as a major conspirator.

Movie: I’m fully prepared to admit it’d take a 10-hour Civil War movie trilogy to incorporate every character/team I’ve listed in this feature, but Osborn’s journey is so compelling I deeply wish they’d convinced Willem Dafoe to reprise the role, even if he is dead in the Raimi Spider-Verse.

3. Luke Cage and Jessica Jones

Comic: Jessica Jones and Luke Cage - still courting on Netflix - are married parents by the time Marvel’s Civil War comes around, and this extra responsibility causes Cage to send Jones to Canada, where registration won’t be an issue. Cage compares the registration act to slavery, decides to stay in America in protest, and waits to be arrested in his home. It’s an inspiring moment in the comics, and establishes Cage as a major player.

Movie: I can totally see why this wouldn’t work in the MCU, but still wish the Netflix contingent could have been incorporated somehow, especially Cage. Even a brief bar conversation between Jones and Cage, discussing the implications of the Accord would’ve quenched my thirst.

2. The Skrulls

Comic: Spider-Woman, Hank Pym and, uh, Jarvis - are actually Skrull sleeper agents during Civil War. It doesn’t have a major effect on the plot, but their status does lead into Secret Invasion, which the MCU may want to adapt at some point.

Movie: Marvel doesn’t have the rights to the Skrulls - it’s one of those weird crossover character grey areas (they also don’t own the concept of mutants, which is why you’ll never hear Scarlet Witch referred to as one in the MCU) - a problem that previously saw the Chitauri invading the Earth at the end of The Avengers, instead of the more iconic alien Skrulls. Like the Skrulls, Chitauri have shapeshifting abilities, so could eventually be part of a Secret Invasion movie.

1. Howard The Duck

Comic: Despite not being a superhero, former presidential candidate/inter-dimensional being Howard the Duck - AKA the Duckman of New Jersey - is still required to register. However, he discovers his rebellious lifestyle was such an administrative nightmare for the government, he was written off and no longer officially exists.

Movie: Alright, so it’s not the most essential plot-thread in the comics, but I’d give my left wing to see Howard choosing between Tony and Steve’s side in the MCU version of Civil War. The character has already been hatched in James Gunn’s Guardians Of The Galaxy, why not shove him in somewhere? Is it too late for reshoots? I’ll pay!

#disney netflix marvel gameofthrones asoiaf got hbo gameofthronesfamily gameofthronesfan gameofthronesmemes gotmemes gots7 gotseason7 sansa s

5 notes · View notes

galadrieljones · 8 years ago

Text

Thanks for the tag, @cordkitty-ish!! <3

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you

Tags: @thevikingwoman @kaoruyogi @wrenbee @whosafraidofthebigbaddreadwolf @tel-abelas-mofo @love-in-nature @theblackdomino @ma-sulevin @ladydracarysao3 @consumed-by-veilfire @littleblue-eyedbird <3

1) Who is your favourite author? Why?

Joy Williams. She is quite a prominent poet and short story writer, especially during the 70s and 80s. I love her, because she writes shit like this:

Down the river, eight or so miles, was the Gulf of Mexico. He assured her it was there, but she went to sleep and dreamed that she followed the river and it ended only in a fourteenth-century European town of freaks and circuses. Everything was violent or deformed. Tattooed children were being sold, and tiny dead songbirds, clustered like grapes. The river was green and full of animals, stopping abruptly at the town and never appearing again, as though it were painted on, an apron of a stage. Ballistas were mounted on the walls and hides were drying in the sun and everyone was calling to her. (From the story “Woods” in her collection Taking Care)

Williams has been more formative for me, as a prose writer, than anyone else in existence.

2) Who are your three favourite DA characters?

Solas, Morrigan, and Sera

3) List three poems I have to have read at least once.

Philip Larkin: High Windows

T.S. Eliot: The Wasteland

Sharon Olds: Satan Says

These are not pleasant reads, but they are goddam beautiful.

4) If you could go to any century besides the 21st, which would it be and why?

The twentieth. Sorry to be boring, but I would like to have known what it was like to live in a time in which short story writers were like the hip and trendy fucking thing.

5) Have you ever been part of a different fandom (as a writer, in case that applies to you)? Which one?

Not really. Unless you count various boyband fandoms in the 90s (do we count that, @whosafraidofthebigbaddreadwolf? lol)

6) What’s your favourite thing/ theme to read about?

Boyhood. Manhood. Girlhood. Womanhood. These are some of my favorite themes to explore in my own writing, too

7) Name three things you can’t resist.

Fried food. My child. Cigarettes at weddings.

8) Do you have any daily rituals? Which ones?

They mostly have to do with my kid. Like we go on these little “lunch walks” where I slice up some cheese and deli meat and apples and put them on a tray on his stroller, and he eats them as we take a walk to the grocery store. He is a bird like me when it comes to food, only a little at a time, so this is the best way to get him to eat in the afternoon after he gets up from his nap. Plus, then he points to relevant objects and is like CAR and MOO and BALL and it’s adorable. He’s almost two.

9) Early bird or night owl?

Night owl.

10) Favourite instrument to listen to?

I like flutes, especially when they show up in science fiction soundtracks, like in Star Wars or Alien. I played the flute for about ten years and pretty much quit after high school. I miss it sometimes.

11) Name one thing about your (imaginary) partner/ husband/ wife/ SO that you love. (Can range from very significant things to ‘the way he/she/it wrinkles their nose’.)

My husband is, externally, kind of an aloof and stoic man, but inside, he is playful and quite silly. When it’s just us and we’re like, deep in the throes of domesticity, at the end of the night, watching a movie or something, and this silliness comes out one way or another, that is something I love. It makes him seem vulnerable in ways that are not always apparent, even to me.

My eleven questions are under the cut. I stole the first two from this list, as they’re good ones. :-)

1) Who is your favorite author? Why?

2) Who are your three favorite DA characters?

3) List three songs that you would recommend.

4) What is the best gift you have ever received?

5) Do you have any vices? If so, what are they?

6) If you could live in any city in the world, which would it be, and why?

7) Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

8) What was the video game that made you fall in love with video games?

9) If you could go back and rewatch any TV show for the first time all over again, which would it be?

10) Do you have a role model? If so, who is it?

11) How do you unwind after a long, stressful day?

#about me #eleven questions

10 notes · View notes

dorkforty · 7 years ago

Text

Art by Tom Kelly: https://tomkellyart.deviantart.com/gallery/

So it’s been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact. What can I say? I hit a snag in the plot and let myself get tripped up on it. And I’ve always felt just slightly silly doing these things, anyway, so it seemed better to just wander off. But I re-read the earlier chapters recently, and realized that I liked them quite a bit. That lead me back in, and I had enough story left to tell that I decided to unsnarl my plot and keep going.

(And then, of course, they announced this week that they’re finally launching a new Fantastic Four book this summer. So I figured that, if I was going to finish this thing, I needed to go ahead and do it.)

But like I said… It’s been a while. So I suppose some explanations are in order. If this is your first time encountering the Fantastic Four Remix, for instance, I’m sure you have some questions…

WHAT IS IT? A far-more-complicated-than-I-imagined working-through of some ideas I had to relaunch the Fantastic Four from scratch, in the present-day.

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO SUCH A THING? Because I love the Fantastic Four. And since there hasn’t been an FF book in a while, I figured I might as well fill the gap.

WHY NOT JUST WRITE STORIES THEN, YOU FREAK? Because I had a lot of ground I wanted to cover, and wasn’t willing to devote that much time to writing characters I don’t own without getting paid for it. I love my readers, but I don’t love them THAT much.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED US, YOU’D WRITE MORE FUNNYBOOK REVIEWS! Piss off! I’m just having fun here, okay?! Gahd! Get off my back!

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. SO WHERE COULD I READ THE REST OF THIS NONSENSE? IF I WAS INTERESTED? WHICH I’M NOT. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna tell ya. You were rude.

OH FOR GOD’S SAKE! I’M SORRY, OKAY? I’D REALLY LIKE TO READ THEM. IF ONLY TO SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE. Well… Okay. Previous chapters of the FF Remix can be found here:

https://dorkforty.wordpress.com/tag/fantastic-four-remix/

ALRIGHT, THEN! Alright!

Ahem. Sorry about that. These new readers can be SO touchy. For the rest of you, though…

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE: Oh, lots of stuff. I am nothing if not a complicated plotter. To really steep yourself in all the various details, you’d have to go back and read the whole thing. I’ll try to fill in background where I can, but here’s a rough overall picture to get you started:

Reed Richards put together a team for a mission to explore the Negative Zone: Ben Grimm (pilot)! Johnny Storm (mechanic)! Susan Storm (the journalist who tells their story to the world)! But upon arrival, they collided with an alien artifact and were bombarded with THE POWER COSMIC! This gave them their familiar powers as the Fantastic Four. They uncover a SECRET INVASION plot by the shape-shifting alien SKRULL, which is an on-going subplot. Reed’s friendly rival VICTOR VON DOOM hires the team to test his experimental TIME PLATFORM, and in the process, Ben becomes Blackbeard (dubbed THINGBEARD by Johnny)…

…an incident that’s still echoing through the story now. Doom is a continuing character in the Re-Mix, a villainous foil to the team, ala John Bryne’s Lex Luthor. He has an on-going scheme to wrest control of Latveria from the tyrannical regime that killed his gypsy family, and a growing suspicion that the FF represent a dangerous threat to mankind that must be eliminated. Likewise, PRINCE NAMOR the SUBMARINER is a continuing character, a noble-but-arrogant anti-hero type who has until recently been romancing Sue. As in the original story, he was discovered as a wandering amnesiac, who’d been missing since the end of World War II. But he’s since found lost Atlantis, saved it from the barbarian Attuma, and been rejected as their monarch (they adopted democracy in his absence). He’s currently serving as Atlantis’ ambassador to the UN, and is romantically entangled with the Lady Dorma.

Re-Mix Dorma is the former consort of Attuma, a fierce barbarian woman tossed aside in favor of “soft Atlantean women” when Attuma conquered Atlantis. She helped Namor defeat him, and has since been wrapped up in a quadrangle of sorts with Reed, Sue, and Namor (weird romance having become an unexpected theme of the Re-Mix). That’s all ended recently, and Reed and Sue are finally starting to look like they might get together after all (though throwing roadblocks in front of that inevitable relationship has been perversely pleasing, and I’m not quite done doing it yet).

But, Dorma. I’ve been struggling to find a decent image that matched the slightly unearthly look I wanted for her (and the Atlanteans in general), but here’s a Photoshop job I stumbled across recently that does a fair job of it. I couldn’t find reference to the artist, unfortunately. But the eyes are really striking, I think:

At any rate.

In recent issues, the Thing was captured by THE INHUMANS, who want to put him on trial for the murder of a crew of Inhuman scouts back during the THINGBEARD INCIDENT. That murder didn’t happen, however, so the rest of the team freed him, causing incredible strife within the Inhuman ruling class in the process, and then escaped from the SECRET CITY OF ATILLAN with the queen’s little sister CRYSTAL in tow. They were pursued by KARNAK and GORGON, but then there was a whole huge incident with the newly-awakened FIN FANG FOOM, and everybody teamed up to deal with it. In the aftermath, Karnak shook Ben’s hand… AND SPLIT HIM IN HALF WITH THE DEADLY ONE-INCH PUNCH! Quickly teleporting out with the aid of Lockjaw, Karnak informed the team that they were welcome to offer up a defense of Ben at his trial, in one week’s time. And that’s where we pick the story up now…

ARC FOURTEEN: THE TRIAL OF THE THING!

This will be a two-pronged arc, with one side giving a more realistic picture of Inhuman society as Crystal and Johnny return to Attilan to prepare for Ben’s trial, and the other following Reed and Sue as they search for evidence of what happened to the Inhuman scouts. But first…

PART ONE: INTERLUDE

After the all-out action of the last story arc, we take an issue to catch up with the supporting cast and our various subplots:

When last we saw Frankie Raye (Johnny Storm’s girlfriend/rival on the outlaw racing circuit)…

…she’d had a drunken make-out session with rival driver Tura. Frankie broke it off before things got too heavy, but she’s still a little shaken up by it. For one thing, she’s surprised at herself for showing such loyalty to Johnny. I mean, they’re just havin’ some fun, right? RIGHT? Hurm. Heading to the garage the next morning, she hopes to commiserate with her BFF/mechanic Wyatt Wingfoot, but instead walks in on him in the aftermath of a night of passion with Jean-Paul Valley, driver for the Northern Lights racing team (who, in another world, is the mutant super hero Northstar). This is primarily a comedic scene, but Frankie’s confusion and frustration plays off Johnny’s increasing infatuation with Crystal, setting up the inevitable triangle.

Meanwhile, Namor sponsors the Latverian rebels in their bid to be recognized by the UN. It’s a controversial choice, considering Namor’s attack on the country’s legal government alongside Latverian expatriate Dr. Doom. But Namor handles the situation with an uncharacteristic elegance, explaining that his attack is what first brought the rebels’ plight to his attention. “My actions were misguided, based on poor intelligence about a Latverian attack on Atlantis. But the Hammerfell government is tyrannical nonetheless. And just as we in Atlantis have learned to embrace democracy, I believe that the Latverian people deserve the same chance.”

Alicia Masters (blind sculptress, lady friend of the Thing, and possible Skrull) gets a visit from her father Phillip (aka the Puppet Master, a famous stage puppeteer, and a secret Skrull agent).

As he promised he would, Phillip asks Alicia if she’d have a word with the FF about making a public appearance with Gabriel (charismatic evangelist and anti-Skrull activist). Alicia looks suspicious (“Dad, what are you up to?!”), but he assures her it’s all on the up and up. “Nobody wants the Skrull off Earth more than me, honey. You know that.” The two of them exchange a meaningful look, but Alicia remains ill at ease.

Of course, WE know that Masters only met with Gabriel to give his psychoactive clay time to bond, so that he could make a puppet of the man, under orders from the Skrull high command. But Alicia evidently does not. How much she knows or doesn’t know is – hopefully – the subject of much reader speculation at this point.

We also get back to the mysterious Men in Black (who’ve been going around asking questions about the FF for purposes unknown). Somewhere in the American Midwest, the dark-haired Man in Black (the one who seems to disapprove of the team) approaches a tidy home in a small town. The name on the mailbox reads “Grimm.” A sturdily-built elderly woman answers the door. Tall, with steel-gray hair, she’s a handsome woman in spite of her age (think Big Barda as somebody’s grandma). She’s wearing a leather workman’s apron, with a pair of leather gloves tucked into the waist and a pair of safety goggles resting on her head. “Miss Petunia Grimm? I’d like to ask you some questions about your nephew…”

CUT back to Namor, relaxing in his chambers with Dorma after his speech. He expresses distaste with it. “Embracing Democracy,” it seems, is not really something he’s very interested in. Dorma (ever conniving) soothes him, reassuring him that the deception, though necessary for diplomacy, will only be temporary. “If Doom can really deliver on his promises, darling, you’ll be back on the throne again soon. And then you need never worry about lying again.” They kiss, but their embrace is interrupted by a call from Hong Kong. Namor’s annoyance turns to shock, however, when hears a voice he never thought he’d hear again: his cousin Namora, ruler of the Atlantean splinter city of Pacifica, and protector of the Pacific Rim!

(She was introduced in the Fin Fang Foom arc, but that’s wwaaayy too complicated to explain here.)

The issue closes on Dr. Doom, watching news coverage of Namor’s UN speech from multiple different international sources, to gauge world-wide reaction to his scheme. His phone rings (though a phone seems like an awfully prosaic device for Doom to be using – maybe it’s some kind of cell access built into his mask?). It’s his lawyers, telling him that his strategy for dealing with the charges against him for his part in Namor’s attack on Latveria (long story) has worked. There are a few details left to clean up, but it looks like he’ll walk away clean. Pleased, Doom turns to a computer screen and opens a document labeled “Time Drone Analytics: Latverian Overthrow Stage Two.” His reverie is interrupted, however, by an unexpected visit from Reed Richards and Susan Storm!

REED: “We need your Time Platform, Victor! Lives may depend on it!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

TWO: HOMECOMING

This issue deals with Crystal and Johnny, returning to Attilan to prepare for the trial. Its events take place over the course of a week, as they get things in order and await Reed and Sue’s return, hopefully with evidence that will clear the Thing.

It’s an awkward homecoming for Crystal; when she fled the city with the FF, she flouted generations of cultural tradition, and abandoned her duty to Inhuman society, as well (she was betrothed to Triton, Lord of the Undersea, and Black Bolt’s only equal). If it weren’t for Karnak’s judgment of her moral superiority in the Fin Fang Foom incident, she might be tossed in a cell upon her return. But Karnak’s word holds much sway, and so she is tolerated, if not welcomed back with open arms. Her sister Medusa, in particular, treats her coldly.

Visual Note: I haven’t found many Inhumans redesigns I liked all that much, but here’s a Crystal design I stumbled across that I do like. It’s alien, but still attractive, and the pose gives her a bit more fire to boot:

It’s through these various conflicts that we gain a more balanced view of Inhuman society. Black Bolt is far from the tyrant he seemed in the first Inhumans arc. He actually rules wisely and justly, and is beloved by his people. Gorgon is revealed as a melancholy poet, rather than the brute he pretended to be in pursuit of the FF. And Karnak… His final attack on the Thing has filled him with guilt and (worse for a man of his station and abilities) doubt. He spends every minute in deep meditation, emerging only to tend Ben’s wounds.

Ben, for his part, is doing as well as can be expected. After the attack, he’s undergone a shocking physical change: his rocky outer shell having been split in half by Karnak, his body shed it like a crushed fingernail, revealing a soft “nail bed” beneath. His exposed flesh is reddish-orange and very sensitive to touch. Inhuman medicine has helped as much as possible, but he’s still obviously quite uncomfortable. He faces it with a surprising humor, however, and little of the self-pity that’s haunted him since his transformation. Over the course of the week, he endears himself to many in Attilan, and eventually confesses to Johnny that he feels comfortable there. “For once, I’m not the ugliest guy in the room.”

Part of Ben’s change stems from the time he spends with Karnak. He applies healing unguents to Ben’s sensitive flesh, his abilities allowing him to apply the medications with only the slightest discomfort. But he also teaches Ben some of his meditative techniques, teaching him how to mentally overcome the pain, and in the process, helps him find peace within himself. (Note: this is a good opportunity for some cool trippy visuals. Specifically, some of Ben’s meditations could be built around the patterns of the Thing’s rocky hide.)

Meanwhile, Medusa, Crystal, and Johnny travel with Lockjaw to contact and gather witnesses. Black Bolt (speaking, as always, through Medusa) places a strict limit on the number of outsiders allowed into Attilan, however, and vetoes any of Ben’s military buddies, arguing that agents of human governments would be beholden to reveal Attilan’s existence to their superiors. That leaves them with three options: Alicia Masters, Ben Baxter (builder/owner of the Baxter Building, and mentor to Reed), and (gathered at Ben’s suggestion) his Aunt Petunia. Alicia and Petunia come immediately, with the others agreeing to testify on the day of the trial.

We see Johnny and Crystal grow closer through all of this. His attraction is obvious, and he makes her laugh in a situation that’s otherwise very difficult for her. Triton (to whom Crystal is still technically betrothed) stands between them, making Johnny reluctant to act on his feelings. But Triton hasn’t been seen in the upper city since the confrontation in Black Bolt’s throne room, and Crystal hasn’t attempted to contact him. Her desire for freedom has only intensified since her Terrigenesis, her emotions coming more and more to mirror the tempestuousness of her elemental powers. Eventually, as the week is winding down, she makes the first move. They kiss… And are interrupted by Medusa.

In a cold fury, she informs them that, even though Reed and Sue have not returned, the trial will go on as scheduled. And Crystal has been assigned to speak for the defense.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

THREE: PLUNDER

So where the hell are Reed and Sue? The next two issues answer that question.

We open with the two of them, and Dr. Doom, preparing for a jaunt into THINGBEARD TIMES to discover the fate of the Inhuman pirates Ben is accused of murdering. They’re dressed in clothing appropriate to the era, with Doom in his more subdued “Phantom of the Opera” style mask (Re-Mix Doom has several different costume variations to suit various social situations), and a few subtle accouterments that function like his full armor, but at only a fraction of the full suit’s power level.

(I’m told these are props from one of the bad FF movies, but they give you the general idea.)

He’s also improved his Time Platform since the last time we saw it, moving on from the prototype to something more streamlined and easier to control. He’s agreed to let them use it, but only on the condition that he himself goes with them, to ensure that they do nothing to alter history… “this time.”

(In flashback, we see how Reed and Sue got from Hong Kong to New York so quickly: they hitched a ride with Aged Genghis, who transported them magically back to the Baxter Building. When they thank him for his aid, he just smiles a vacant smile and says, “Anything for Wise Grimm.” Then he disappears in a puff of smoke.)

And so they’re off! Reed has brought along a sensor device that he’s attuned to detect Terrigen energies, which he hopes to use to find the Inhuman ship and its cargo. But first, they need some idea of where to start looking. That trail begins with the historical Blackbeard, Edward Teach (who capitalized on the fear surrounding the Thingbeard Incident to take the name for himself). Teach has no idea where the Inhuman crew is, but he gives them the name of another pirate who might: Lord Plunder, who’s most likely to be found across the Atlantic along the Gold Coast of Africa.

(Plunder is, of course, a long-standing Marvel name. If you want to assume this guy’s an ancestor of Ka-Zar, I’m not gonna stop you.)

They find Plunder freshly-returned from a trip to the Savage Land, selling live velociraptors to the highest bidder. They attend the auction, hoping to use it as an in to get information out of Plunder. Reed places bids (much to Doom’s chagrin – that could alter history, after all). But luckily, he’s outbid by… THE BLACK PANTHER! This is our first glimpse of the Panther, an ancestor of the modern-day T’Challa (who we’ll see in a later arc). He uses the raptors to destroy a slave port and free some captured Wakandans. Our Heroes get swept up in that action, aiding the Panther, but being helpless to stop the carnage he unleashes in the attack. Once that’s resolved, Plunder tells them what he knows. He has done business with the Inhuman crew in the past, but last he knew, they were heading round the Cape of Good Hope and back up toward Singapore.

An aside: Among Plunder’s crew is a Savage Land native who bears a striking resemblance to Reed’s mother. Reed (who spent time in the Savage Land when his parents took him there as a child) speaks to her in her own language, asking about her heritage. She tells him that her grandparents came to the Savage Land mysteriously one day, and disappeared just as mysteriously when she was a child. And Reed, she says, looks a lot like her grandfather… (TO BE CONTINUED!!)

(Note: Other Marvel Comics pirates who could be in Plunder’s crew: Patience Drew (aka the Queen of Spiders) Jebediah Fate (an immortal) Long John McGurk (a stranded space alien) Raza Longknife (another stranded alien, posing as a Pacific Islander) Jim Spliny, Black Mike, Maura Hawke, Slug McCarthy, Fredric Falkon, Heinrich Von Grubb

Most of these would just be easter eggs, names assigned to various background characters. But since I crawled down an interweb rabbit hole to get them, I thought I should share.)

FOUR: SHIPWRECKED

Plunder’s information leads Our Heroes to the South Pacific, and the Terrigen detector leads them to the future Monster Island, where they find the Inhuman ship run aground. There’s no sign of life, or of the ship’s Terrigen cargo.

Reed, Sue, and Doom split up to search the island for clues. Reed heads immediately to the volcano at the island’s center, and confirms his suspicions: the Terrigen has already been dumped inside. Searching for the cave the team found in the last storyline, he also finds the dormant Fin Fang Foom slumbering in peace, the Terrigen’s mutagenic effects not yet birthing monsters from his flesh.

Doom, meanwhile, finds a survivor of the shipwreck in the jungle. He’s just finished covering up a mass grave, in which he’s buried the bodies of his fellow crewmen. Delirious and half-crazed, he tells Doom the story of how the ship came to be there. They were caught up in a vicious storm, the worst any of them had ever seen. Conditions were so bad that communications with Attilan became impossible, and they feared they might be lost at sea. Struggling to keep afloat, they were then set upon by an armored warrior who came out of the storm itself and slaughtered everyone. This lone survivor lived only because he was pulled overboard during the attack, and brought to the island. He was delirious through much of the experience, but he claims that his benefactor was the man who helped them retrieve the Terrigen cargo in America: Benjamin J. Grimm, the man they dubbed Blackbeard!

Because, again, I can’t post this picture enough.

Elsewhere, Sue explores the wreck of the ship. Using her ability to make other things invisible, she looks around for secret compartments, or even just things they might have overlooked on their quick initial search. After poking around a bit, she finds the ship’s log tucked away in the captain’s quarters. It confirms the FF’s departure (Reed coming off far worse than Ben), then reveals the same story just told to Doom, but (crucially) ending before the arrival of the armored warrior. She finds a knapsack among the captain’s gear, puts the book in it, and is about to leave, but stops when she hears something. Turning toward what appears to be an ordinary part of the ship’s hull, she reaches out to make it invisible. We don’t see what’s inside, but she gasps as we…

CUT to the jungle, where Doom pumps the pirate for more information. But, exhausted from his exertions and nearly dead from exposure, he instead collapses into Doom’s arms. Doom lowers him to the ground and, holding him in a soothing manner, calmly snaps the pirate’s neck.

CUT back to Sue as she exits the ship, carrying the knapsack, but nothing else. She seems pensive, but none the worse for wear. Reed’s arriving on the beach at the same time, and, brandishing the bag, Sue tells him that she thinks she’s found what they need to clear Ben. Doom, however, is nowhere to be found.

CUT to Doom, emerging from the Time Platform back in his Time Lab in the present. Stepping calmly to a computer console, he begins reviewing records of previous time jaunts, revealing that he was the one who killed the Inhuman crew! He was positive, in fact, that he’d gotten them all. But his review of the tapes reveals something he’d missed in the heat of the battle: a scaly orange hand pulling one cowering pirate overboard, and away from Doom’s wrath.

“Grimm,” he says. “Obviously more resourceful than I gave him credit for.”

He pauses, thinking. Weighing his options. Then he goes over to the Time Platform control panel, and cuts the tether to Reed and Sue.

CUT to the two of them on the beach, at the exact moment we last saw them. Suddenly, they’re ripped out of spacetime, screaming in a psychedelic void.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

FIVE: MADNESS

A Few Words on Inhuman Justice: In a society that regularly spawns psychics and empaths, it strikes me that trials would work a bit differently. The truth of any testimony could be determined on the spot. But because memory is faulty, truth is relative. Two different people can testify to the same events, tell different stories, and both be truthful according to how they remember things happening. So the Inhumans depend on something I’m calling “Psychic Forensics.” A jury of psychic sensitives listens to testimony from as large a pool of witnesses as possible, and collates all the various stories into one narrative that’s then accepted as truth. Hard evidence trumps this, of course, and the arguments of the prosecution and defense can help shape these narratives, as well. But in a case like Ben’s, where there is no hard evidence due to the great length of time that’s passed, testimonial truth is enough to convict.

That would seem to make this a simple matter, then. Both Ben and Johnny were there when Reed forcibly removed Ben from the Inhuman ship, when the crew was still very much alive. But things are more complicated than they appear…

(Storytelling Note: We get varying degrees of detail on all testimony, seeing it filtered through the lens of the psychic jury. This allows for some trippy visuals (always a good thing), but also for us to avoid going into too much detail about things the reader already knows. So it’s conveyed through snippets of dialogue, flashback, and warped, hazy remembrances shaded by each speaker’s own perspective.)

The trial begins at dawn. Black Bolt serves as judge, with Medusa as prosecutor, and Crystal on defense. Karnak sits at the head of the jury, vigilant for flaws in their understanding of events. The prosecution goes first, establishing their case against the accused, leaving the defense to argue against once the case has been laid out.

Medusa opens by calling Ben and Johnny to the stand. They testify to their leaving the ship, and are found to be telling the truth. But Medusa seems unperturbed, and presses on to establish Ben’s history of violence, arguing that he is not always in his right mind, or in complete control of his own actions.

Petunia fills in some childhood background on Ben. She raised him from around age 10, when his parents were killed in a car accident. Young Ben struggled with depression and anger throughout his adolescence, constantly getting into fights and becoming increasingly aggressive before finally finding an outlet for it in football. Johnny and Bob Baxter pick up the narrative with the Breach Craft team, and Ben’s history as The Thing, with Medusa emphasizing his erratic behavior throughout.

She finishes this line of questioning with Ben’s most recent rampage, when he was (unknown to anyone) under the control of the Puppet Master. Ben himself testifies to that incident, and his memory of it is fractured and hazy. He remembers only parts of it, and in those memories he’s like a spectator to his own actions, watching impassively while his body does things of its own accord.

We give special focus to Karnak during this testimony. Something is troubling him, but he’s not quite sure what. Everyone else, though, is shaken. The team’s been buffeted from adventure to adventure so much since this last rampage that none of them have taken time to really think about it. But when it’s laid out like this… There’s clearly something wrong with him. Even Ben himself starts to wonder if he’s too unstable to be allowed to roam free.

Her argument having been rather convincingly made, Medusa then closes the first day of the trial by lowering the boom: her ally Victor Von Doom (who, like Reed and Sue, is unavailable for testimony) has given her Time Drone video footage, which she shows to the court. It mirrors that of the footage we saw at the end of last issue, with the Inhuman ship in the midst of a terrible storm. But instead of Doom slaughtering the crew, it’s Ben!

This, Medusa argues, is incontrovertible proof. Not that Ben killed their scouts during the Thingbeard Incident, but that he WILL do so, in some future time jaunt rampage that’s yet to happen. The question before the court, then, is not one of guilt or innocence. It’s whether they will execute him for crimes he has yet to commit, or prevent him from committing them in the first place, by simply imprisoning him in Attilan… forever!

SIX: REVELATIONS

We pick up the night after Medusa’s devastating prosecution argument. The first day of the trial has ended with things not looking good for Ben. Alicia tries to comfort him, but he’s fallen into despair. He no longer trusts his own sanity, and tells her to leave. “I might hurt ya, baby, and not even know it. So scram. Get outta here. Go back to New York and forget you ever knew me.” But she’s not having any of it. She knew the risk when she started dating him, and honestly kind of likes it. “So you don’t get to push me away, you big orange bastard. Not over this.”

CUT to Crystal’s chambers. Medusa comes for a visit, and they have it out over Crystal’s abandonment of her duty to Attilan (and Triton) over what Medusa calls “lust for a pretty young human boy.” Crystal bristles at that (visual note: her elemental powers flare up around her dramatically when she gets mad), but ultimately Medusa’s concern is well-intended. She doesn’t want to see her sister become an outcast because of a youthful indiscretion. They part on better terms, but Crystal is left confused and upset. She doesn’t want to marry Triton, but should she really throw her lot in with a bunch of outsiders because of that? She worries about her sympathies in her upcoming defense, as we…

CUT to Karnak, deep in meditation once again, replaying Ben’s testimony in his head with the aid of an elderly Inhuman named RANDAC the ORACLE, an experienced and highly-skilled psychic. Karnak doesn’t believe that Ben was lying, but he noticed something, and its exact nature escaped him. But now, with Randac’s aid, he spots it: a flash of something, just as Ben is talking about blacking out in advance of his last rampage.

Visual note: the “flash” could be expressed as a very narrow panel, showing a sliver of whatever it is he gets the impression of, but not enough to identify it. They continue working to uncover it, through the night and all the way until…

DAWN! Though Karnak has sent word that he is unable to serve with the jury, the trial continues, and Crystal begins her defense. She starts by casting doubt on Doom’s video. Johnny testifies to the bad intelligence Doom gave Namor (which caused Namor’s ill-advised attack on Latveria), and Baxter reveals Doom’s threat to “deal with” the FF if he ever deemed them too dangerous to live. “Without this man here to submit to questioning, the truth of his work can’t be confirmed! So can we really condemn Benjamin Grimm to death for a crime that even the prosecution admits he has not yet committed?”

CUT to Karnak, zeroing in, the narrow flash panel getting wider… wider… but still not wide enough.

BACK to the courtroom! Crystal cites Ben’s many acts of heroism, and explains the torment his transformation has caused him (something the Inhumans, whose entire culture is built around such transformations, don’t really understand at all). Johnny and Bob Baxter act as character witnesses, guided now to discuss Ben’s positive qualities. They admit to Ben’s instability, but stress the great good he’s done, and can still do. This terrible future – if that video does, indeed, show the future – can still be averted with the support of friends and advisors, and a woman who loves him.

That’s Alicia’s cue to take the stand, and she gives eloquent testimony to Ben’s heroic soul. Even Medusa seems moved by it. In the background, we see an Inhuman court official conducting a genetic scan on her (as he’s done for every other witness), looking first puzzled, and eventually alarmed. Just as she finishes her speech, the Gene Lord leaps to his feet, and makes a shocking proclamation: “THIS WOMAN IS A SKRULL!”

CUT to Karnak. Finally, something clicks, and the flash panel stands fully revealed: it’s Alicia’s first statue of Ben!

BACK to the courtroom! Alicia tells her story. Sent to Earth as a far advance scout decades ago, Phillip Masters (the Puppet Master) settled, married a human woman, and gave birth to a daughter: Alicia herself. Her parents kept her father’s true nature from her until she hit puberty, when her Skrull genes began to manifest. Full shape-shifting isn’t possible for her, but she can slightly alter her form by shifting mass from one part of her body to another. It’s useful for retrieving things she’s dropped into tight spaces (and for her love life with Ben), but otherwise it’s not something she even thinks about very much. As far as she’s concerned, she’s human.

She knows nothing of the Skrull beyond that. As far as she knows, her father severed ties with his people after she was born, and hasn’t worked for them since. She doesn’t know the details, but he’s told her not to worry. His loyalty lies with her, and her loyalty lies with Earth. The jury verifies the truth of her statements, but the revelation still unsettles the courtroom. Alicia looks plaintively at Ben, but his expression is impossible to read.

Black Bolt signals for a recess, but before court can adjourn, there’s a flash of energy as a portal opens in the center of the room. Out of it step an elderly Reed Richards and Susan Storm, dressed in primitive tribal garb, and seeming to have aged 40 years since their departure. With them is a strange young woman, tall and thin, with pale green skin and bulbous black eyes. Reed is holding a device that looks like a modified version of one of Doom’s Time Platform remotes. He turns a dial on it, then looks around and smiles. “We made it, Sue! We finally made it!”

The portal collapses behind them, and Sue steps forward, holding the knapsack she collected from the Inhuman pirate ship. “Lord Black Bolt. We apologize for our tardiness. There were… difficulties on the road. But we have important information for the court!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

And that, believe it or not, concludes The Trial of the Thing. Yes, there are still issues to be resolved. But the story goes somewhere else for a while first, so that’s what we’ll deal with next time. For now, though, all we’re left with are…

ARC FOURTEEN NOTES

The long break between posts masks this somewhat, but I’m slightly concerned that I may be giving the audience “adventure fatigue.” I very much wanted to emulate the great Steve Ditko Dr. Strange run through this part of the Re-Mix, with its string of endless cliffhangers, new creations, and excitement. But readers eventually need an ending, and we’re now roughly 26 issues into never-ending adventure. Seriously. We’ve gone from the introduction of the Frightful Four (6 issues) to the introduction of the Inhumans (6 issues) to Fin Fang Foom (8 issues) to the trial (6 issues), with each arc rolling right into the next, and the only true resolution being the defeat of Foom.

Even I’m getting tired at this point, which may be an additional reason I stalled out on the series last year. So I think it may be time to wrap things up a bit. I still have a good bit of story left to tell before I’m done with my ideas for the Re-Mix, but it might be wise to have some clear beginning-middle-and-end arcs before we launch off into the grand finale.

(An aside: I just went back and did a rough issue count for the Re-Mix to date. This arc takes us up to issue 82! Insanity! I had originally thought this might take around 100 issues total, but I’ve got enough for another 50, easy. More, if I explore a few half-formed side concepts along the way. Hmm. Maybe I should go for 200 instead. Hmm…)

One last thing: In re-reading the previous installments of this series, I became acutely aware that I haven’t focused enough on Sue. I have to keep reminding myself that she’s our narrator, so we’re getting her perspective on everything as we go. But I had this idea at the outset that she would become more self-confident as time went on, and that her powers would grow accordingly. But she doesn’t even have her force fields yet! So I need to give her some attention. And soon.

But speaking of the future…

In Our Next Exciting Episode: Adventures in Time and Introspection! Past Peace and Future War! Politics! Wakanda! Plus… INFINITE THINGBEARD!

Fantastic Four Re-Mix, Part Seven: The Trial of the Thing! So it's been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact.

#comic books #Crystal #Dr Doom #fan fiction #Fantastic Four #Fantastic Four Remix #Inhumans #Lord Plunder #Namor #The Thing #Thingbeard

0 notes

mrmichaelchadler · 6 years ago

Text

Dick Miller: 1930-2019

Dick Miller is dead.

If I were to announce this news to a group of people whose lives did not necessarily revolve around the world of film, there is an excellent chance that such news would be regarded with little more than a well-meaning shrug. If I were to accompany that news with a picture of him taken from one of the 182 roles that IMDb credits him with in a screen career that began in 1955, my guess is that most of those people would recognize his face from any number of movies that they had seen and enjoyed over the years and remark “Oh, that guy!” Simply put, Dick Miller was among the greatest “That Guy!” actors in cinema history (When the long-overdue documentary celebrating the man and his work was finally made and released in 2014, it was appropriately entitled “That Guy Dick Miller.”). He rarely got the lead role, he got the leading lady even less, and the vast majority of the titles that he appeared in throughout his career were not of the sort that one might expect to see programmed on TCM or turning up in the Criterion Collection. And yet, he ended up developing a large and loyal cult following over the years from generations of fans (a number of whom would go on to put him in films of their own) who responded to his distinctive look, his quirky manner and his innate ability to steal a scene from practically everyone/thing that he appeared opposite, be they comely starlet, bloodthirsty alien or the Ramones.

Richard Miller was born December 25, 1930 in the Bronx. His early years (chronicled in Caelum Vatnsdal’s exhaustively detailed and fascinating biography You Don’t Know Me, But You Love Me: The Lives of Dick Miller) saw him doing everything from appearing on stage to working at Bellevue to a stint in the Navy. Eventually, he made his way out to Los Angeles in the mid-1950s and eventually made the acquaintance of an up-and-coming producer of low-budget exploitation movies named Roger Corman. At the time, Miller was trying to make it as a writer but Corman was in greater need of actors, and so he came to be cast as an Indian in his very first movie, a ten-day wonder Western named “Apache Woman.” Because actors were apparently really scarce, Miller was recruited to play a second part of one of the locals in the town where it was set and yes, it does lead up to a moment where his local character shoots his Indian character.

That was his first Corman production, but it would be far from his last. The producer-director began to use him regularly, perhaps because he was usually available and perhaps because he brought a real sense of personality to even the most generically written roles. Take “Not of This Earth” (1957), for example. The film itself is pretty silly—something about a human-looking alien charged with harvesting blood from the unsuspecting denizens of Southern California to send back home in an attempt to save the population of his dying planet. In one draft of the screenplay, a brush salesman turns up at the door of the home where the alien has made its base of operations (don’t ask) and meets the inevitable grisly end. Corman gave the part of the salesman to Miller, who proceeded to change the item he was pushing to a vacuum cleaner and ended up ad-libbing all his dialogue to make the character seem more like a hipster on the make. The result was a hilarious scene-stealing turn and was the first real demonstration of the quirky personality that would come to be his signature. Later that year, Corman gave Miller his first lead role in “Rock All Night,” a “The Petrified Forest”-style drama (albeit with music breaks by The Platters), in which he played a short cynical guy who is one of a few people taken hostage at a bar by a couple of criminals, and who manages to save the day and win the girl.

Over the next couple of years, Miller would make a number of films for Corman—“Sorority Girl” (1957), “Carnival Rock” (1957), “Naked Paradise” (1957) and the heroic lead in “War of the Satellites” (1958)—and appeared in brief roles on TV shows like “M Squad,” “Dragnet” and “The Untouchables” before appearing in what would become perhaps his most beloved film amongst his hardcore fan base. “A Bucket of Blood” (1959) is an outrageously funny black comedy in which he played Walter Paisley, an oddball busboy at a beatnik cafe who yearns to one day become a true hepcat artist. Blending together cheerfully gruesome black humor and droll satire of the beatnik culture of the times, this is a film that probably would have stood out among the schlock movies of the era under any circumstances, but Miller’s performance moves it from being merely a great B-movie to a great movie, period. His take on Walter is hilarious and bizarre, of course, but he also gives the character and his failed artistic dreams a genuine sense of pathos that probably would have been ignored in the hands of most actors in order to concentrate on the ghoulishness.

Unfortunately, that would be the last time that Miller would ever really have the lead role in a film, although the next time that Corman came to him with a project, he did offer Miller the lead in that one as well. Alas, Miller read the script, felt that it was largely a rehash of “A Bucket of Blood” and decided to pass on playing the lead in the talking man-eating plant opus “Little Shop of Horrors” (1960). In later years, he would lament passing on that part but as much as I love that movie, I think that he may have made the right decision in the sense that the lead role in that one was maybe a tad too much of a Jerry Lewis-style schnook for him to believably portray. Besides, the part that he did wind up playing, that of a plant-eating man, supplied it with some of its biggest laughs. For the next decade or so, however, his career was a bit of a struggle. There were always appearances to be had in Corman productions—the most notable of which found him kibitzing with Don Rickles as a carnival heckler in “X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes” (1963), desperately attempting to explain the plot of “The Terror” to co-star Jack Nicholson in a fit of wild exposition and squaring off against dirty bikers in “The Wild Angels”—and small roles on the small screen in shows like “Dragnet 1967,” “Combat” and “Mannix.” However, roles in major studio films were few and far between and when he did turn up in something bigger like “The Dirty Dozen” (1967), “The St. Valentines Day Massacre” (1967) or “The Legend of Lylah Clare” (1968), they were in bit parts that received no formal credit.

In the 1970s, Miller still found himself doing the occasional small part for Corman, who had just formed his new production company New World Pictures and who perhaps looked upon Miller as some kind of good luck talisman. As it turned out, a number of the young filmmakers who Corman began hiring to work for him—people like Jonathan Kaplan and Jonathan Demme—were people who recalled seeing and liking Miller’s past work and leaped at the chance to included him in their own films. The most notable of these was Joe Dante, a movie-mad trailer editor who, along with colleague Allan Arkush, made a bet with Corman that they could make the cheapest movie in New World’s history. The film they came up with was “Hollywood Boulevard” (1976), an amiably silly satire of the world of B-movie production in which the comely cast of a low-budget schlock-fest is bumped off one by one by a masked killer. The film, not surprisingly, was filled with in-jokes and perhaps the funniest one of them all came when Miller was cast as the amiably sleazy agent of the lead, a character who was then given the name Walter Paisley. Not only was it a funny joke but it was one that stuck and throughout the rest of his career, he would play additional characters named Walter Paisley a number of times.

“Hollywood Boulevard” marked the beginning of a long and fruitful collaboration with Dante, who would go on to include him in practically every single thing he made. In “Piranha” (1978), he was a sleazy water park owner not especially concerned with reports of a pack of deadly piranha heading his way. He turned up as the owner of an occult-themed bookshop dispensing werewolf lore in “The Howling” (1981), a diner counterman in “Twilight Zone: The Movie” (1983), Mr. Futterman, a snowplow driver who meets a seemingly ugly end at the hands of the “Gremlins” (1984), a starry-eyed cop in “Explorers” (1985), a cabbie in “Innerspace” (1987), a ventriloquist stuck with an unfamiliar dummy in a deleted sequence from “Amazon Women on the Moon” (1987), a garbageman in “The Burbs” (1989), the not-so-dead Mr. Futterman in “Gremlins 2: The New Batch” (1990), a for-hire agitator working for a B-movie magnate in “Matinee” (1993), a detective looking for “Runaway Daughters” (1994), a deliveryman in “Small Soldiers” (1998) and a studio security guard in “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” (2003) among them. Some of these parts were bigger than others (his appearances in later Dante films like “The Hole” (2011) and “Burying the Ex” (2014) were barely cameos) but no matter how big or small, they were eagerly anticipated and would often inspire cheers from viewers in the know.

Although Dante would become his most frequent non-Corman collaborator, he was far from the only notable filmmaker to include Miller their work. He worked with Martin Scorsese on “New York, New York” (1977) (opposite Robert De Niro and Liza Minelli, no less) and “After Hours” (1985), where he gets to essentially deliver that film’s mantra (“Different rules apply when it gets this late. You know what I mean? It’s like after hours”), Robert Zemeckis on “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” (1978) and “Used Cars” (1980) and Steven Spielberg on “1941” (1979). He had brief but standout scenes in such genre classics as “Rock n Roll High School” (1979) as a police chief trying to come to terms with the Ramones (“They’re ugly. Ugly, ugly people.”) and “The Terminator” (1984), where he played the talkative gun shop owner opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger. In addition, there was a steady stream of appearances on television (including episodes of “Police Squad!” and “V”) and cheap B movies, though these were now more likely to turn up on cable and on video than in the local drive-in. He even had a recurring role on the TV series version of “Fame” that lasted for several years in the Eighties. No matter how big or small the project or the part, you never saw him just coasting through things and if he did a project where his presence was not one of the key high points of the endeavor, I do not immediately recall it.

As some of you may have guessed, Dick Miller was a true favorite of mine—in my bio at this site, I even cite him as my all-time favorite actor—and even had the occasion to meet him once. When the “That Guy Dick Miller” documentary was making its way through the festival circuit a few years ago, the Chicago Critics Film Festival, on which I serve as a programmer, not only screened the film but turned it into an event that also featured a showing of “A Bucket of Blood” and an appearance by Miller and his wife, Lainie, at a Q&A that I co-conducted with colleague Steve Prokopy. Now I have met any number of famous people over the years as a result of my choice in career, but this was one of the very few times where I found myself a bit nervous, no doubt recalling that age-old warning about the dangers of meeting one’s heroes. Well, in this particular case, that saying proved to be a load of shit because I met one of my heroes and it was awesome. While I am certain that I probably came across as some kind of overly enthusiastic goofball, he certainly never let it show. After my inevitably rambling intro, he proceeded to charm everyone in the audience, told a ton of great stories and then proceeded to sign autographs for everyone who asked for one even though no one would have begrudged him for begging off after a while. From a journalistic standpoint, my contributions to that day were probably negligible at best but that was hardly the point. That day, I got to tell one of my heroes how much he and his body of work meant to me over the years while he was sitting right there and that made me about as giddy as I am able to get. Now, albeit under much sadder circumstances, I hope I have been able to do the same for you.

vimeo

Dick" class="redactor-linkify-object">https://vimeo.com/102548857">D... Miller Q&A from Collin" class="redactor-linkify-object">https://vimeo.com/user2916714"... Souter on Vimeo.

from All Content http://bit.ly/2DK9oD7

1 note · View note

aion-rsa · 4 years ago

Text

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks Review: Sci-Fi Comedy Aims Low And Scores High

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Aliens, Clowns & Geeks will be opening in a drive-in run, double billed with Forbidden Zone: Director’s Cut. Details will be announced.

Subscribe to Den of Geek magazine for FREE right here!

The post Aliens, Clowns & Geeks Review: Sci-Fi Comedy Aims Low And Scores High appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3pb5Yi2

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

0 notes