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23raccoons · 2 months ago

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let me bleed (you're losing me) Ao3

Fandom: Naruto (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru, Hatake Kakashi, Yamanaka Ino, Sai (Naruto), Karin (Naruto), Uchiha Madara Additional Tags: Dubious Consent, Blood and Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Dark Uchiha Sasuke, Dark Nara Shikamaru, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Self-Harm, Akatsuki (Naruto), War, Konoha 11 (Naruto), Everyone is Problematic ok?, Heavy Angst, Domestic Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fourth Shinobi War (Naruto), Memory Loss, PTSD, Manipulation, Bullying, Suicidal Thoughts, Degradation, Dacryphilia

Chapter 15 (chapter list)

Sasuke works to keep his temper even throughout Kabuto’s examination of Sakura. Shikamaru had warned him beforehand that she would not react well, perceiving the exam as an attack—taking both Shikamaru and Sasuke to convince her to agree to let Kabuto examine her. More than meeting those expectations, as Sasuke pulls the lightning shock that fills her mind and runs it straight into Kabuto.

Sasuke escorts the man back to Konoha. There’s a pep in Kabuto’s step, despite having just been mildly electrocuted. Thinking he now has an advantage over Sasuke. Kabuto is unfortunately too useful to the war effort—with all the dead ninja he’s been bringing back to life to fight for their side. Sasuke will have to bide his time to deliver his retribution—another name to add to his shrinking list—but it will come. He has no doubts about that.

“Just how long have you been keeping a little pet, Sasuke?” Kabuto breaks the silence as they near the village. Smirking as he turns to look at Sasuke’s reaction, instead finding an already activated sharingan.

“What pet?” Sasuke tilts his head as he grabs hold of the memory. Releasing the jutsu. Walking on like nothing ever happened. Inside Kabuto’s mind is a wicked place, full of his gross, based desires. Currently thinking far too much of all the testing and examinations he would enjoy performing on the still-ill Sakura. Memories stored like files in large open shelving units. Carefully tagged and color coded. Tightly packed together. Unlike Sakura's, whose mindspace seems to stretch on endlessly, Kabuto’s seems to be more like a very large plane, eventually meeting a boundary of capacity.

Sasuke shelves the memory in his own mind, with all the other odd-shaped ones he’s collected thus far. An immense maze of a library, Sasuke navigates with ease. Darkness drips through cracks and leaks in through the seams, coating rows and rows of book-like memories in a thick, foul black venom. Tainting his past with its cursedness. Transmuting his mind with its sinister nature.

Sasuke visits Sakura as often as he can at the Nara house without raising suspicion. Watching over her between missions if Shikamaru has need to venture into Konoha for a meeting with Madara. Pulling the buildup of static from her, popping them off away from her to avoid the sting of the shocks. Every day that passed has him more on edge. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. He's so, so close to having her and there’s not anything he can do to protect her if he’s not directly touching her when her seal of the chidori finally fails. (If he is unable to control it when the dam does burst.)

Shikamaru himself has been working on the chakra cuffs restraining her. Both getting Kakashi’s pair off and a new, improved set for the two to use to recontain Sakura, to ensure she remains safe and protected in their care until Sasuke can take out the threat that is Kakashi. But they can’t get the cuffs off. Shikamaru was sure that the two of them working in tandem were going to be able to, but something’s not working correctly, leaving her stuck. Trapped.

Sasuke’s tracking a whole skulk of chakra foxes that have ventured onto the Nara land. At least six of them this time. He takes out a handful right off the back, less for him to deal with as he follows the others. They are quite a ways from the house and are causing the deer to behave strangely. More skittish and jumpy than usual.

He feels the familiar vibration of Sakura thinking about ‘Kakashi-sensei’, slipping into the genjutsu, just enough to fling the shard of memory that she doesn’t like Kakashi up the string, catching it as it rebounds back through. Only to find that there’s a Sakura in Sakura’s mind. Right at the hard border of his space. Her glowing hands pressed against the barrier, trying to break it. He lets himself float through and land on the bottom, in her line of sight.

“Sakura,” he calls. His Sakura. She stands up straight, pulling off the jutsu as he strides for her. Caught at its limits as she backs away from him. Her eyes widen as she takes in Sasuke at the hard glass-like structure filled to the brim with her memories. Bone chilling fear seeping into her mind. Still backing away, one foot after the other, until she reaches the cross-arm of the webbing. “Sakura, won’t you come to me?”

The strings act like tributaries, starting off small—in the far reaches of her mind—before combining into each other time and time again, growing thicker as they reach the focal point that feeds into the conscious side of her mind. Sasuke currently holds a lot of power over who and what she remembers because both his and Naruto’s main lines run through his genjutsu. People like Shikamaru and Ino have their own lines, out of his reach. Ino’s waves closer towards Sasukes at one point before sloping closer to Shikamaru again. She’s used this closeness to create a new thin string to bridge the gap and another to reach Naruto’s. Naruto’s to Kakashi’s. The more time Sasuke spends in his spot in her mind, the better he gets at recognizing what belongs to who.

Thinner, more fragile strands connect branches crosswise. Connecting people to each other. A lot of the webbing is damaged, broken, and snapped in places. Sasuke’s line connects into Naruto’s just outside the jutsu. And together they have lines that feed into Kakashi’s.

Sakura weaves her way across and back down. Around–until she is on the other side of Sasuke’s jutsu. Reaching the point where she has to start healing, repairing broken strands to connect them to one another, retrieving memories she’s been unable to recover thus far from the damage of the lightning storms in her brain. While simultaneously creating a bypass around Sasuke’s hold in her mind.

Sasuke meets her at the point where Kakashi’s runs parallel to his and Naruto’s. Why is she ignoring him? Banging on the surface of the barrier with a fist. It sounds almost like ice cracking as it echoes through her mind. “Sakura!”

It startles her enough to get her to look at him again. Before scurrying on her way. Working her way back across to the memory she needs. The fear is morphing. Evolving. Alarm and horror and disgust. A storm building as she works. Sasuke pulls out of the genjutsu, abandoning his hunt to rush to Sakura.

He can’t sense her, but that is not abnormal. Both the barely trickling flow of her chakra system and the masking the cuff provides conceal her well from a distance. Less so, the closer you grow to her. There’s no sense of her as he approaches the house. Blood tracked over the yard and porch, continuing on into the bedroom Sakura should be occupying.

Bedding is scattered everywhere, blankets torn and solid with blood and the stench of rotting flesh.

“Sakura.” Sasuke calls out, drawing his sword. Following the trail. Deja-vu of another blood-soaked house overlays itself on his surroundings. Mother and Father. He still cannot sense her, and he nearly gags. Stomach turning. He had been too weak to protect them then. She is still alive. He can feel her in his mind.

“Sakura.” He swallows down the rising bile as he clears the house. Tracing the blood outside to the shed. “Sakura!”

The shed door is open as Sasuke approaches, kicking the door clean off its hinges. There is blood and black goo smeared everywhere. Still no Sakura. When he exits, Shikamaru is entering on the far side of the yard.

“Where is she?” Sasuke demands to know, striding across the yard. “She is gone. Where. Is. Sakura?”

Shikamaru eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the yard, the state of Sasuke. Brushing past Sasuke to enter the shed himself. Slamming its contents around. Racing toward the tree line when he emerges. “It’s not her blood, but we need to find her. Now.”

Sasuke keeps any smart comments to himself. Two searching for her are better odds than one. Luckily, whatever they are following has done little to hide its tracks. An easy path right to Sakura. They arrive, just in time to see Sakura grab onto the blade of a large scythe, fresh red blood dripping down. The chidori. Too late for Sauke to help, to control the flow out of her. But his perfect Sakura already knows how to handle his ill-tempered chakra nature. Streaming in straight into her attacker, knocking him back. Sending Sakura to her knees.

“Sasuke.” She whispers as he catches her. She’s covered in blood. Warm and wet and sticky as Sasuke carries her back. Quickly falling into unconsciousness. She sleeps for days as she heals. Mending the damage from holding the chidori and exhausted from the wear and tear of the fight.

Sasuke stays away for the most part. Keeping tabs on her through the genjutsu link. When he does stop by, Shikamaru is either working on the cuffs or annoyingly curled up with Sakura in the bed they share. Sasuke swallows the distaste that leaves in his mouth. Finding himself spending most of his time there scrubbing the bloodstains from the floor and the bedding Shikamaru had flung outside to replace with fresh, clean laundry.

The cuffs are ready, right at the time that Sakura is healed enough of the damage to go back into them. Healthier than she’s been in months. She will have to continue to repair the damage in her mind with them on. Sasuke does not have to hold her down, kicking and screaming—fighting for her freedom. Because Sakura loves Sasuke. She’d do anything for him. Shikamaru sneaks his cuff on when she’s occupied with Sasuke—the lazy bastard.

A mission near the lightning border calls Sasuke away for a few days. Sightings of old-leaf ninjas, rumors of a transport of civilians and much-needed supplies. Sasuke smirks as the group he’s pursuing splits. Two going ahead with one turning back to face him. To fight.

Rock Lee .

Sasuke mentally prepares for the fight. Lee is a strong opponent, but Sasuke’s fueled by vengeance. Punishment delivered for daring to be complicit in Sakura’s mishandling. When they meet, however, Lee does not fight. Falling to his hands and knees instead. Wetness streaming off his face already. Weak.

“Stand and fight.” Sasuke tells him. Lee shakes his head back and forth, fingers digging in the dirt as his body shakes.

“You will not fight?” Sasuke questions, drawing his sword. Lee was never the type to turn down the chance for a fight.

“I do not deserve to live,” Lee says brokenly. “I was chosen, entrusted to protect Sakura, and I have failed her. I am no shinobi, I will accept my death.”

Sasuke moves to stand in front of Lee. At least some of them have realized the cost of their actions, even if Kakashi does not. “How did you fail her?”

“I didn’t stop Naruto when he was telling her what he would do to keep his promise to her, even as she was begging him to break it. I did not protect her from you. I did not understand the lengths she would go to to get there. I didn’t protect her from Kakashi and his cuffs. I thought I was helping to keep her safe.” It comes out broken by sobs, Lee tripping and stumbling over his words.

Sasuke can hardly keep the smirk off his face, keeping his expression as neutral as possible as he squats down. Tilting his head in mock confusion. “Why would Sakura ever need protection from me?”

It’s enough to break Lee’s incessant crying, as he looks up at Sasuke. Snotty and gross. Ew. “W-what?”

Resisting the urge to mock the sad excuse of a man, Sasuke repeats himself.

“I-I, but Kakashi said,” Lee tries to get out. How pathetic.

“That I killed Sakura,” Sasuke fills in for him. Leaning in closer, like he’s sharing a secret. “That’s what he told everyone. Poor little Haruno Sakura slain by the hand of Uchiha Sasuke. And we both know that that’s not the truth now, is it? Because she’s not dead, now is she?”

Lee’s eyes widen as Sasuke’s implication settles over him. “But…you…”

“What reason would I have to harm Sakura, of all people?” Sasuke narrows his eyes. Lee will suit this purpose well. Already having doubts about Kakashi’s sanity over the situation. “But you are a different story entirely. You wish to die? No, you shall live. And you shall suffer for what you’ve done to her.”

Sasuke activates his sharingan, pulling Lee into a genjutsu—not even a strong one, Lee’s mental state needs to be well enough to be believed after all. Now that Sasuke has Sakura, he has the power to shift the trajectory of the war in his favor. To sow the seeds of distrust in Kakashi. He shows Lee an approximation of Sakura’s memory of being held down by those she loves so dearly. Restrained and cuffed. Confused. Betrayed. Heartbroken.

Lee collapses to the ground when he comes out of it, panting hard. Nearly hyperventilating.

“Why has Kakashi gone to such extensive lengths to be sure Sakura is contained? Who benefits the most from faking her death?” Sasuke rises as he speaks, leaving the fallen man to ruminate over his words. Lee’s time will come, Sasuke will not be so lenient with him when they cross again. “Tell Kakashi the clock is ticking. His penance is near.”

Sasuke returns straight to Konoha. To what remains of the boarded-up Uchiha district. Madara resides in the clan head's household—Sasuke’s childhood home. He doesn’t bother knocking, not wanting to wake the ghosts of his past that still reside here. Avoiding eye contact with the bloodstains that remain no matter how many times he scrubbed at them as a child.

He finds Madara on the dock out by the pond. Meditating. Sasuke sits near him at the end of the pier. Losing himself in his thoughts as he gazes over the water. Waves lap at the posts of the structure, fish causing ripples where they break the surface.

“Something on your mind?” Madara asks, tone even and neutral. He always insists that Sasuke can come to him. To intrust the older Uchiha to help with his problems.

“I used to practice my fireball jutsu out here for hours in the evening after the academy. Father would chastise me for not being as skilled as Itachi was at my age. Even if I was well outpacing the other Uchiha children my age. Mother kept burn cream handy in the kitchen to help with the chapped skin. Itachi too busy to train with me when I asked... and then they were just gone, all of them except for me.” Sasuke lets the numbness wash over him. Better than the pain. A night he’s relived countless times. In his memories. In his nightmares. In Itachi’s tsukuyomi.

“My mother kept burn cream in the kitchen also. Ready to slather it on at any given moment, even as we grew into adults.” Madara comments. He rarely speaks of his own family, long dead now. The closest to understanding the pain that becomes overwhelming if Sasuke dwells on it too long.

“There has been a development I have come across.” Sasuke informs the older man as he looks over the calm surface of the water. Madara hums his encouragement to continue. “There is a girl living on the Nara lands. I have been monitoring the situation. I believe she could be useful in the outcome of the war.”

“You delayed telling me,” Madara clarifies.

“My intentions were to ensure the correct course of action. To avoid any unnecessary retaliation against her from her exposure.” Sasuke carefully picks out truths, avoiding directly lying to Madara. “There were some underlying circumstances that needed sorting before things could progress. I believe Shikamaru used the word ‘broken’ to describe her.”

“You knew her.”

Sasuke lets a moment pass. “Yes, I know her. She was in my academy class.”

Madara hums. Sasuke thinks of Shikamaru’s emotional outburst, gauging how much emotion to portray without seeming to be overtly concerned for Sakura. What falls into the realm of an act believable of Sasuke, who kills everyone he finds in the Five Nation’s hideouts, age or ninja affiliation unmattering to him. Working to frame keeping her alive for the good of the war instead of Sasuke’s own drive to keep her his.

“When I was small, I thought the idea of a police force inside Konoha to be almost silly. How could anyone who’s sworn to protect the village turn against another resident? Sheltered from the realities that the world is cruel. That even as small as four or five, there was already a discrepancy in power dynamics. Already a risk for those who were weaker, with less powerful connections.” Sasuke takes a deep breath and adjusts his posture before continuing. “The other children would have never dared to treat me the way they treated her. A handful of us held above the others. Me, the Hyuuga heiress. Ino-Shika-Cho. Clans big and powerful enough for their children to have had private tutorage before the academy, giving their own an edge over the others.”

“Clans often work to put their own in better positions. A show of power.” Madara agrees.

“She did not have those advantages. Civilian parents. Less affluent than even middle-class clan kids. I didn’t even know that it was happening.” Sasuke pauses. “No. I knew they picked on her, just not to its fullest extent. That the other children were the reasons behind all her bruises and cuts and scrapes—not after-school training with a taijutsu master or kunai training with weapons specialists. They would call her awful things they should have been too young to know the meaning of. That the teachers let it slide because she wouldn’t raise a fuss. I thought if the clan kids were truly hurting her, an adult would step in and stop it. A true shinobi wouldn't stand for such a thing.”

“Did they?” It breaks Sasuke out of his rambling. A slight downturn to Madara’s lips when he turns to face him. Sasuke finds himself frowning too, lacing his fingers together. “Did the senseis step in?”

“No. No, they didn’t.” Shaking his head. “Not then. Not when someone decided it would be a good idea to shove her on a genin team with the last Uchiha and the jinchuriki they let run amok unattended in the village. Not when Kakashi locked her up and hid her here in Konoha to go and start a war in the name of a girl who never died.”

“She was your teammate?” sighs Madara.

"She shouldn’t have been. She was never cut out to be a ninja. Too soft to be a shinobi. Certainly ill prepared for the real world. And when I found her, she was just so sick. So broken. I thought, ‘If everyone thinks her dead already, what harm will come from letting her die in comfort instead of in a harsh prison cell?’” Sasuke turns his attention back to the water. A small family of ducks gathered at the far side of the pond.

“Did you ever intervene?” Madara asks quietly. “Or were you complicit in her treatment?”

“By the time I realized the true extent of her issues, my perspective was skewed. What’s a handful of harmful words in comparison to a tsukuyomi? What’s a few bruises to an entire clan slaughtered in the dead of night?” Sasuke shrugs. “I didn’t even see, until much more recently, how easy it would’ve been to do something about it. That by simply supporting her, I could’ve stopped it. That even five-year-old Sasuke, the second son of Fugaku, head of the Uchiha clan, could have told them to stop. And they would have listened to me. Instead, I waited for someone else to do the work for me.”

“On occasion, the best move to make is no move at all. Waiting and watching where your opponent is setting pieces. Observing. Letting plans grow to fruition, until they are ripe to be picked.” Madara says after a moment.

“I believe the jinchuriki is looking for her to confirm she is alive. Kakashi will not come for her so long as the nations continue to believe his lies. He will come when they lose control of the nine-tails. Naruto will take up the search himself, and when he finds her as broken as she is, we will have no need to deal with Kakashi ourselves.” Trying to keep Sakura as passive a piece in Madara’s plan as he can.

“You believe, by keeping her here, to be discovered by the nine-tails, that it will ensure the death of Hatake Kakashi?”

“I believe Kakashi will go to great lengths to keep everyone under the impression that she’s dead. That I killed her.” Sasuke rises with this.

“And the Nara boy?” Madara questions. “Where will his loyalties fall?”

“He will only support what he feels are the best options for her survival. His loyalty is sound and sure, but only to her. Only for her.”

"Remember, Sasuke, even a weak pawn can cross the board and become a mighty queen.” Madara calls out as Sasuke’s walking away. A true sentiment. But Sakura was never merely a pawn in Sasuke’s game. Losing Sakura would be losing the game.

And Sasuke has every intention to win.

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