#this is genuinely the stupidest thing I’ve ever drawn but also it was very fun so whatever

[socra-time]

The Special Mission:

[lightsaberupmybutt]

These Violent Delights  - Darth Vader x FemReader

Yer idk why I wrote this either. I’m not ashamed though. And if you read this you’re just as bad as I am for writing it. No more said . Enjoy

Word Count: 1377

Warnings : explicit, brief mentions of smut but nothing too heavy, bit angsty, mentions of violence (but if you’re here then I’m sure that doesn’t put you off), kinda out of character (I've tried, but darth isn't a shagger, not canon anyway) 

There was not a day that went by when you didn't consider yourself the stupidest bitch on the planet; ��scratch that the universe 

You were aware that what you were doing was so dumb that even you couldn't reason it logically. 

Its not like you didn't have options, theres plenty of suitors out there who would be more than happy to take you up on the offer of a night with you.

With this knowledge in mind, you still always fine yourself in the company of possibly the most dangerous man (if you can even call him that) to ever exist.

You wish you'd had the excuse of knowing him before he was vader, wish that you could say your attachment was purely based on your remnant memories from days gone by; but that just wasn't true. You only knew this being, Vader as him dark self - and that was enough for you to always come when he called.

To compare you attachment to a drug addiction felt cliche and incommodious; after all you didn't need his attention to survive, but you still craved it for your own enjoyment

it kept you up at night sometimes - you conscience weary with the fact that the rest of the body it was trapped in responded so positively to the touch of a murderer. These internal battles were common, besides, there wasn't anyone else you could exactly go to to ask advice from. The knowledge of your nightly escapades to Vader quarters was not exactly friendly gossip you could share with your friends, or even your family. It was a clear unspoken rule that secrets of this magnitude that involved the ex jedi were not something he encouraged to be passed around - not that you really wanted your family knowing. They would disown you, you would disown you. You understood just how vile your actions were     

so why did they feel so fucking good?

You had been with men before, plenty of men. Maker, some of those men had the bodies of gods, so handsome that anyone would look upon them and believe they were too good for this world. But nothing compared, nothing even came close. It was one thing to enjoy someone, romantically or exclusively sexually , but it was another to be on the same level as someone. And you weren't quite sure why or how, but the only person you had ever felt that for was the destroyer of worlds.

You'd caught his eye while he and a small fleet of his stormtroopers were overseeing the work your village was putting into one of the many imperial excursions.

You'd love to say you hadn't been like everyone else and feared him instantly, that your backbone and feisty nature had meant you had always been able to feel no intimidation by his power - but that would be a big fat lie. The first time you saw him you genuinely thought you might poop your pants right there and then; all black cloak and metal. and then when you notice that he had noticed you too, when he asked your name, you personally accepted that maybe this day would be the day you died.

but it wasn't, and so it began

At first the imbalance of power was obvious, you feared him more than you had ever feared anything before. You'd heard the stories, you knew just how fast he could destroy you and how nobody would intervene even if they could if he decided this way your time to go. 

He kept his distance in this time, while somehow also always letting  you know he was around. you hear him, his breathing somewhere just beyond your viewpoint. A flash of black out the corner of your eye while you walked through the streets. Just teases of his existence. Just enough to peak your interest. 

It worked, he never had to come to you. You came to him.

Because above all else, your curiosity outweighed everything else, even you survival instincts.

It was easy to be drawn in, you found. In everyones brain theres a soft spot for bad people who only act kind to you. That only show vulnerability to just you. You wanted to feel special, and he made you feel like the most protected person in the universe. 

It was ironic really, that being that close to death is what made you feel most alive

It wasn't romantic, and you were completely comfortable with that. You had no doubt that you could never bring yourself to love someone who had the capability to do the things this man had done, and Vader, as far as you knew anyway, wasn't programmed with the capacity to love - a relic skill left when Anakin burned into the sand.

Sometimes though, there were flickers of those sorts of affections, like muscle memory. A gloved stroke of your cheek, a sweep across your lips to catch some of himself there, a hand in your hair with more gentle intent than usual. These incidents were at first incredibly fleeting, but the more comfortable you got together, or at least the more time passed since you had first met, he seemed to get more carefree with these displays. 

Equally, although you had fully expected to feel the wrath of his power at that very first meeting; Vader had never used the force against you. Well, never without you asking him to anyway - choking with the force may be Vader favourite way to bring his enemies to their demise, but when you asked him to use it on you in the bedroom, he was relatively sure you had completely lost your mind. Be that as it may, it was hot as fuck. However he never took advantage; the power imbalance was certainly there, but Vader never used it against you without you asking him. 

And thats how you knew just how comfortable you'd gotten; because you did ask. without even really completely letting yourself realise just what i meant, you asked him to show you just how powerful he was. You fucking liked it, liked that he could remove you from the face of the earth with a flick of his gloved wrist. You liked that he was the strongest being most people could imagine, liked that he was so notoriously  bad. 

Simply because he didn't; he kept you around. He even liked having you around, not that he would ever admit that to you, himself or anybody.

He never took his mask off, so it was easy for him to hide behind his outfit. He was changing though, maybe not dramatically, but enough for him to notice and be ashamed of. 

He hadn't loved since Padme, with her it was obvious. She was beautiful, and smart, and everything Anakin Skywalker could have ever wanted. But he was no longer Anakin. There had never been another love, but you were something different entirely. You made him different . you made him weak. He lusted for you, craved you just as much if not more than you him. Anakin had always had a possessive streak, but Vader had a possessive nature. You were nothing to him, and then you were just fun to him, a body he could use, a rare someone who would let him inside of them with true interest in him, someone who could look past the suit and mask and burns. You belonged to him now, whether either of you wanted it or not, there was no one else for you. 

“don't you ever let anyone touch you like this again” - he rarely spoke during sex, but when he did, his moderator was always stating claim to you. There really was no way to convince vader that you wouldn't stray, that you wouldn't suddenly wake up and realise that getting railed once very month on a dark space ship by someone who's face you had never seen wasn't enough for you. That you'd want to be with someone who you could kiss, or someone who didn't have such a dark smear on their title. But it didn't really matter, you knew you wouldn't leave, not when being bad felt so good with him. 

[solitarystudies]

The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires Review:

I read TSBCGTSV with @readerbookclub​ in October, and I had a lot of thoughts. They’re a little all over the place, so I’m trying to sort through them while writing this review (which probably explains why it’s so long). Just a warning, this review contains spoilers and a lot of them.

Looking back on the book, it’s very difficult for me to pinpoint how I felt about it. There were definitely parts that I took issue with, but at the same time, there were moments where it was exhilarating to read. And I’m not sure which of those should matter more.

Let’s start with the good stuff. The book is entertaining, really entertaining. It’s probably one of the most fun books I’ve read in a long time. The premise is crazy: a bunch of suburban women try to outsmart and outmaneuver a vampire for the sake of preserving their community. The way that the writer takes two completely unrelated worlds (suburban mum-hood and vampires) and mashes them together creates a wild rollercoaster of a story. You can tell from the beginning of the book (as early as the author’s note) that it’s going to be unique: “I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom. As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.”

I usually struggle to read books in a short amount of time. My reading speed is pretty slow and I don’t have the best attention span. But I didn’t mind reading this book in big chunks (I read the majority of it in two days). There’s so much happening, and the jumping from one plot point to the next keeps you drawn.

My favorite thing about this book was by far the horror. This was one of the first horror books I’ve ever read, and I realized that the genre’s really fun. When I looked Grady Hendrix up afterwards, I was not at all shocked to see that he mainly writes horror. The guy’s good at it! Many of the scary scenes really stuck with me. I loved how gruesome it was when the rats started attacking or when Patricia opened the suitcase to find a human face staring back at her. I also felt that the gruesome end to James Harris was beautifully done, especially this part:

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said, and gave a bloody grin. “I’m leaving you all a present. Just wait until your friend Slick gets ripe.”

He started to giggle and Mrs. Greene crunched her knife through his windpipe and she and Maryellen gripped him by the hair and pulled off his head with a loud pop.

I still can’t get over how badass it was to shut him up like that. Those kinds of moments were the highlight of the novel for me.

What made me realize how good Grady Hendrix was at creating tension was how paranoid I had become. After Patricia had been backstabbed by literally everyone, I started to become just as paranoid as her. Every time that James Harris was mentioned, I was worried that he’d done something again. I have notes scattered across the latter half of the book such as: “He’s gonna kill the kid, isn’t he?” or “Please be a dream.” I think that’s a testament to the writer’s skill in the genre. I also found it really jarring to see how everyone’s attitude towards Patricia made her second-guess herself. The loss in confidence and assuredness was done very well.

But now, it’s time to talk about the bad stuff. Because while there were moments where I felt deeply invested in the story, there were also moments where I was very frustrated with the writer. Most of this frustration was targeted at the way the writer tried to include social commentary in the book. Before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusion, I’m all for books talking about social issues. In fact, I would argue that good social/political commentary is what distinguishes a good book from a memorable one. But at the same time, it’s better to leave out the commentary than do it badly. And in my opinion, in TSBCGTSV, Grady Hendrix did it badly.

Throughout the whole book, the message of women empowerment is everywhere. And as a feminist, I would typically enjoy that. But not in this case. If you want to talk about an issue, I expect to learn something from the way you, as a writer, present it. I’m looking for a new perspective or unique approach. I also expect it to be somewhat subtle, the message should be there, but the reader should be encouraged to make sense of it for themselves. I didn’t find any of that in TSBCGTSV. Instead, I was met with very cliché approaches to sexism and gender inequality. To me, it felt like Grady Hendrix presented these ideas in a superficial way and very in-your-face too. I did initially include some examples to show why I felt this way, but upon re-reading it, my criticism seemed a little too harsh. I’d rather not take quotes out of context and nitpick phrases/sentences that I didn’t like. This should be enough to express the gist of my thoughts, and more than that seems cruel.

Having said that, it’s important to recognize that there were instances where the messages of sexism and racism were done quite well. The police’s response to Destiny’s abuse is one such example and the scene where the men turned their backs on the book club was another. But these moments were typically outnumbered by less effective attempts at talking about these issues.  

Putting that aside, there were other weaknesses with the story. One of the main issues is plot holes, or more accurately, plot inconsistencies. main thing is that James Harris is defeated very easily. From what we’d seen earlier, the guy not only has superpowers (the thing with the rats) but he also appears to have superhuman strength (the way Slick describes the assault makes it seem that way). But all that is nowhere to be found in the end, and no explanation is offered for his sudden weakness either. I didn’t mind this too much because I was too done with James Harris at that point and wanted him gone, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a plot weakness.

There were also some scenes that really annoyed me. I think the one that angered me the most has to be when Patricia goes to Harris at the end. It seemed like a very odd plot point for me, but it was worse than just that. The scene makes almost no sense. And the best way to explain why is for me to retell it to you from my perspective:

Here’s what happens. Patricia finds James Harris raping (?) her underage daughter, and decides something has to be done. After meeting with her book club, they all come to the conclusion that she has to let him do the exact same thing to her (which is weird, but let’s ignore that). So she goes over to his house all dressed up, talks about her hips for a bit, and then tells him she wants him. The guy bursts into laughter and asks her ‘Do you think I’m an idiot? I’m an immortal being, Patricia, I see through your stupid plan.’ She gets frightened and proceeds to ramble on about her self-pity for the next few minutes. For some unknown reason, James Harris is no longer the intelligent immortal being he was five minutes ago. Suddenly he’s none the wiser to her plan and says ‘Sure, I’ll sleep with you’. While he’s heading upstairs, she somehow is able to walk over to the front door, undo the hatch and join Harris again without him even noticing.

My version might not be as poetic, but when you look at the events, it genuinely makes no sense. How does Harris go from this:

“You must think,” he said, gasping for air, “that I’m the stupidest person you’ve ever met. You come here, all dolled up like a hooker, and give me this breathless story about how you want me to make you one of the bad people? How did you get to be so arrogant? Patricia the genius, and the rest of us are just a bunch of fools?”

To then doing the exact thing he was mocking, within the span of mere minutes. That whole chapter really annoyed me.

So overall, I feel very conflicted about this book. While it was exciting and fun, it was also very frustrating and at times sloppy. I was constantly torn between liking the story and hating it. I guess for a book like this, the answer is that it’s in between. I think I gave it a rating of two stars, but 2.5 would probably be more accurate. Exactly half, not quite one way or the other.

If this review is a little too strongly-worded, my apologies. I tried not to be too harsh, but I didn’t do a perfect job. This was just a reflection of my thoughts, and I understand that many people probably felt differently :)

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Mind If I Join?

Fandom: Marvel/Avengers

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Overweight Reader

Series: Soft Thighs Series

Warning: Being stood up, etc.

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/Request: Being stood up is never fun, but sometimes people come along to make it a better experience. 

You’d been stood up before and you knew what it was like. It was that crushing embarrassment, bordering on betrayal that someone would let you sit there for an hour before finally texting you or not texting you at all. It was the sympathetic looks from the waitresses and the free drinks. It was all the glances from patrons. It was everything rolled into one. 

You never thought you’d be stood up this time though. He seemed so interested, he made you believe that he genuinely wanted to go on this date with you...you’d been talking long enough...

What made you most angry was that you’d put so much effort into him, into this. You’d spent hours talking to him, letting him know you. You’d spent time on what you wore, on how you looked. You’d spent time on every aspect of this and he couldn’t even have the decency to cancel a head of time. Instead he’d left you sat here in a restaurant at a two person table all by yourself. The waitress obviously wanted to say something and you were just waiting for it.

“I’m sure he’ll turn up soon..” You looked at her name tag ‘Anne’. She was a pretty girl Anne and you could tell she was a sweet one, that she genuinely felt bad for you...that and by the fact she’d been talking to who you assumed was her manager about you and you’d quickly received a free drink. 

“He’s not coming, Anne. He’s stood me up. But what do I care? He doesn’t deserve me anyway!” It was a weak argument. You cared. You really fucking cared. He’d made you care and now you were trying not to. 

“You’re not the only one...that man’s been there for nearly two hours...poor thing doesn’t know if he should leave or stay just in case.” You looked over to where she was pointing and sure enough there sat a man at a two person table all by himself looking rather sad and confused. 

He was cute. He’d obviously made an effort for the date wearing a suit that didn’t quite fit him right, and putting his long hair back into a neat bun. He’d obviously tried to stay sober as well, judging by the lack of anything but water on the table. Part of you wondered why he was stood up. 

He was an attractive man...but then to many you were an attractive woman. You weren’t sure there was ever a legitimate or sense making reason for someone being stood up. You’d been stood up for the stupidest excuses. 

‘I forgot’

‘Work kept me late.’

‘My sister called’

Then on the odd occasion someone would tell the truth. That they had second thoughts. That they weren’t sure they were attracted to you anymore. Sometimes they were harsh, mean, sometimes they told you you were too big, too soft. People could be cruel. People could play jokes even as an adult that never changed. People were still liable to being absolutely horrendous. 

“Poor guy...” Anne smiled at you sadly, took your empty glass and walked away and your eyes kept getting drawn back to that table. You knew what you wanted to do, you just weren’t sure if you should or not. 

Then you finally said ‘fuck it.’ It wasn’t as if you had anything else to do and you weren’t sure if you should leave after only 45 minutes or if you should wait just a little longer. So you got out of your seat and sat in the one across from him. 

“Uh...hi?” He was confused, of course he was, you’d have been confused if someone just decided to sit across from you when you were waiting for someone else.

“Hi...” You weren’t sure how to explain it, ‘hi, I came over because i’ve been stood up and you have too and I wanted to say hi...’. You said something to that affect, nervous, stumbling a little over your words and ruffling your hair. 

He was more handsome up close. Blue eyes that had unknown depths, a jaw that drew your eyes, lips that he had a habit of licking. He was a beautiful man so that couldn’t have been why he was stood up...maybe his date simply forgot? That was possible right. People could forget, people forgot anniversaries and birthdays all the time! 

“So we’ve both been stood up, huh?” 

“It seems like it.” There’s an awkward silence in which you’re not sure what to do or say. Anne walks over and there’s a recognition that she needs to ease the tension a little. 

She places two menus in front of you and you’re suddenly aware that you’ve exchanged one date for another. You’re not sure if the man in front of you is going to be okay with that. You’re not sure if he’d want to go on a date with you and forcing him didn’t seem to be the best option you had.

“I’m Bucky.”

“Y/N.” It’s the introduction that puts you at ease. It’s a ‘yes, this is okay.’ without actually saying it and it has your shoulders relaxing. 

The conversation at first is stinted, awkward, you’ve never talked before and it’s finding out that balance and how the two of you fit together. You find out that he’s a veteran, that he was trying to get back into civilian life and a date was part of that. You found out he really liked cats and that he actually hated wearing suits. 

The dinner itself was lovely, Anne was always lovely, with her blonde hair and red lipstick she focused on making sure you two had a good night. She was happier now that the two of you had actually found a date and weren’t sitting alone together. 

“So...i’m still wondering one thing”

“What’s that?” He’s giving you that playful smile, the one that says he’s about to say something far too charming and that might very well make you run off to the women’s to cool down your cheeks. 

“How you got stood up...I mean you’re a beautiful woman, but you’re also so nice, what the hell was your date thinking?” You don’t know what to say so you just shrug, it’s sweet. He’s trying to tell you how lovely he found his time with you and there’s a sincerity there. It’s not just playful banter, it’s more than that. 

“How come you got stood up then? You’re pretty amazing...I mean..I.” You know it sounds awkward and stinted from you and you’re so glad that he laughs because you’re pretty sure you just made a fool of yourself. 

“I like you too, Y/N,”