#to know that I probably would have had SOME noticeable anxiety reaction other than the current reaction I have of ''oh now whenever

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I will say that because these one after another, recurring anxieties are RECURRING and usually spiral from each other I can often disregard them a little more easily bc I'm like... I've been over this before?

[hwaightme]

23:13 PM

(masterlist)

🌆pairing: bf!yunho x gn!reader 🌆genre: fluff, established relationship, comfort 🌆summary: to be loved is to be heard, and yunho reminds you of this again and again, knowing you beyond the literal and the expected. 🌆wordcount: 1.5k 🌆warnings/tags: unedited, speedwriting, kissing, mildly suggestive in one part (through a light joke), pet names (angel, princess, sweetness), overthinking, rumination, low mood/sadness, implied anxiety (reader) 🌆taglist: at the bottom. would love to add you if interested <3 🌆a/n: genuinely have been loving yunho's styling so much <33 again another small timestamp to try warm up~ any love is so appreciated!

“Your tone.”

“My what?”

“Your tone was off, that’s why I’m here, so… may I come in or…” you gape at Yunho as he shifts his weight from one foot to another, accompanied by the rustling of a plastic bag in his hands.

“Um… sure?” you step aside and let him pass, taking a moment to register that you do, as a matter of fact, still have to play the role of a welcoming guest despite your current state of mind. 

In a rush you take out some slippers for him and throw a new hand towel by the bathroom sink. He is endearingly awkward even in the midst of having made the bold decision to come here in the first place, you note, and timidly smile to yourself. Yunho’s eyes dart around the entrance and corridor as though he is looking for something.

“Is there anywhere I can leave this?” he lifts the bag, and it hits you that he had brought food. Takeout from a restaurant that you had been raving about on your latest date with him. You feel nauseous and guilty at the thought of him speeding through town at ‘probably should be getting ready for bed o’clock’, firstly to the restaurant, and then all the way to yours. Why did he? He most certainly does not have to. It’s not like you said anything or asked.

“Oh! Yes, sorry, let me take that, I’ll put it on the table,” you make a beeline towards him, freeing him from the takeaway, “The bathroom is-”

“Right here to the left. Sweetness, I do recall being here a few times before,” you catch his smile - reassurance that his comment contains nothing malicious, but nonetheless drop your head, choosing to focus on untying the plastic handles. 

Rustling drowns out the constant noise in your head. On and on it rumbles and cries trying to overpower polystyrene and running water. What did Yunho mean by ‘tone’? Surely you were not texting any differently than you normally did? The usual ‘how are you’s and ‘when are we seeing each other next’s - nothing out of the ordinary. You try to retrace your steps as though you are a criminal on the run having found out that you are now being hunted by police. What is it that let Yunho know of what you were trying to not reveal?

“Need any help?” while you are stuck in your mind again you do not notice Yunho approaching you and gasp in surprise. He tilts his head, obviously having noticed your reaction, but does not comment on it, instead choosing to focus on your choice of dress for the late evening. You try to suppress the embarrassment welling up in the corners of your eyes and that stubborn intensifying lump in your throat as he studies you. Maybe you should have changed, or not let him in, or something else entirely, just so you can be alone.

“I think I’ve got it…” you mumble, having finally undone the knots and commenced taking out the different containers.

“The hoodie,” you glance up at him and immediately meet his glistening brown eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I-”

“I think you look beautiful. And adorable. And my heart will give out,” a soft grin, and you swear you could melt, “besides, we did agree to give each other some space in our homes right? The only difference is I’m not sure I would wear what I have at mine since I wouldn’t want to ruin your linger-”

“Yunho!”

“Just saying!”

“Cheeky! Anyways… Do you want water, tea, or maybe Coke?”

“You know exactly which one I’ll pick.”

“Coke it is-”

“Let me get it though. What do you want?” He steps around the table to intercept your path to the kitchen. 

“It’s no big deal.”

“Can’t I treat my princess a little? You already unpacked all the food,” not wanting to make a big deal out of nothing, you surrender to the temptation of doing nothing. 

“Water will be fine.”

“One water coming right up!” you chuckle as you watch your boyfriend move around the kitchen, knowingly opening the right cupboards as if this is as much his place as it is yours. You hide your hands in the sleeves of the hoodie, languidly pushing two chairs back when Yunho tells you to take a seat. 

“Thank you,” you accept the glass, using it as an excuse to not look at Yunho. 

If there is some way in which he can detect shifts in messages, you most certainly can sense when he settles into a more serious version of himself. It is nothing intimidating, of course, but nonetheless, something you presently need to prepare yourself for. He is worried, and it is a little too clear by how closely he positioned his own chair to yours, how he shifted to be almost facing you. How… How does he know?

“Let’s eat! Tell me what you want, point at things, anything!” again, he chooses to avoid interrogating you, you can sense it. His voice is laden with something unreadable, but you do not want to dive into the matter and decide to simply follow what he suggests. On top of avoiding what you fear, you realise that Yunho’s voice is considerably louder than your inner critic. 

You observe his movements. He carefully ladles some soup for you, picks one side dish after another, breaks apart the pieces of another dish you merely glanced at, just to be sure that you are having what you want. In the dimmed lights his navy hair, which usually gives a mesmerising vivid blue gleam appears to be almost black, the elegant strands swept to the side and falling over his forehead reminding you of ink strokes. You recall that he mentioned having a schedule earlier that day, and that same feeling of guilt spreads over your body. What if he is tired? What if said schedule ended later than expected and he did not have a single break? Dealing with his job, dealing with you-

“Try this, it’s apparently a bestseller,” once more, Yunho is the one to take you out of your own paranoia. 

“I’m sorry-” the words escape your mouth before you can process them. A deer caught in the headlights, you are staring at your boyfriend, feeling your pulse quicken. He puts down his chopsticks, completely turning to you, his and your legs pressed close together under the table, his hands searching for yours. Before you know it, more agitation spills and keeps on spilling, “I really did not mean to worry you, I should’ve insisted you rest… I mean you are probably so tired and stressed because of work and-”

“I am here, angel, am I not?”

“You are… but-”

“I both need and want to be here. So what if I had work. Now is not work time. Now is ‘us’ time. Yeah?”

“How?” a little confused, Yunho raises an eyebrow and gently squeezes your hands, “How’d you know?”

“What do I know?” you know that expression. The ‘fully aware of what you mean but wants you to say it’ look. A little unnerving because it makes you look inside yourself, but still possessing an unparalleled charm. Classic Yunho. You crack under his enamoured scrutiny.

“The tone thing… too on the dot. So… how?”

“Ah, that! Surprised you, did I?” Letting go of one hand, he leans onto the table and while resting his head on his palm, holds your gaze, “Just a hunch really. I don’t know how either, maybe my brain has a special ‘you’ alarm in it.”

“Oh come on-”

“What? Very plausible. I like thinking about you, a lot.”

“You really are too sweet,” you leave your original question hanging in the air, unsure if you even need to hear what he will say, or if it will help in any way. Yunho reads your doubts like an open book.

“I mean if I knew for sure, I would tell you. I would tell you everything. But I cannot pinpoint anything in particular. It was this feeling in my chest that bubbled up while we were texting. The words, the sentence structure… it’s you, but it’s you when you’re upset, and I don’t want you to be alone when small steps appear giant.” At a loss for words, you merely nod, biting your lower lip to keep it from trembling, and let his voice echo in your heart.

“You have superpowers I swear,” you force out a barely audible whisper, and gingerly reach to move one of his strands, blushing when he captures your hand and plants a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“Nope, just think about you always.”

“I’m sorry again-”

“Apologise by having dinner with me, and then we can move,” he gestures at the sofa with your intertwined hands, “right over there, and talk through things, if you want to of course. How does that sound?”

“Good,” you move to give him a feather-light kiss, “it sounds good.”

Silence. Total silence aside from Yunho’s warm, loving presence, soft chatter, and the awareness that sometimes, you don’t need to say anything in particular to be truly heard.

🌆taglist: @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @innsomniacshinestar @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @maddkitt @ren-junwrld @marsstarxhwa @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @northerngalxy @my-loves-my-life @http-gyu

enjoyed? i would love to hear from you, it means the universe to me. thank you.

[moonstruckme]

i'm obsesseeeed with dr. rem and i have a request for him if you're up for it!! <33 maybe reader gets into an "accident" (nothing serious) while working and remus finds out when he sees her in the hospital? like she didn't have time to call him and let him know so he suddenly just sees her and freaks out for a bit before realizing she's okay? thank you so muchhhh 💗

I'm obsessed with him toooo it's bad ! Thanks for requesting sweetheart <3

cw: minor head injury

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

Your eyes water, but you do your best to keep them open as the girl in scrubs points her light in each one. 

“Your pupils look alright,” she decides, clicking the light off and giving you an apologetic smile when you blink in relief. “Have you felt nauseous at any point since it’s happened? Dizzy?” 

You shake your head no to both, wincing a bit as the clear bag of ice you’re holding to the back shifts slightly. 

“That’s good.” She nods encouragingly. She seems young and somewhat green, probably one of those pesky residents Remus is always griping about. Though she’s trying to project the same seasoned calm as the other doctors and nurses moving about the A&E, there’s a quiet anxiety about her that you recognize. It’s the same one you carried during the first month at your job, the possibility of getting in some kind of trouble seeming to loom over you constantly. She’s pretty, you think, and she seems nice. Like she genuinely cares, a massive improvement over the woman at the front desk who’d given you a look so judgemental that it’d made you feel even more embarrassed for being here. “And you’re sure you didn’t lose consciousness at any point? Even for a second?”

“I don’t think so,” you say. “I mean, I would have noticed, right?” 

She squints like she’s not quite sure what to do with that, and then you perk up as a familiar rhythm gets your attention. You wouldn’t have guessed you could do it outside of your shared flat, but you pick out the sound of Remus’ footfalls a second before he comes into view. He’s striding briskly across the room, skimming something on his clipboard, and he gives the swath of curtained rooms little more than a cursory glance as he passes—until his eyes flare, snagging on you.

You raise your hand in a sorry wave. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, doubling his pace to get to you. His attention moves to the bag of ice you’re holding to your head. “You’re hurt?”

“I bumped my head at work,” you explain with a shrug. The resident looks between you like she’s unsure if she should continue, clearly outranked by the other doctor in your little room. “It’s not bad, but my boss said I had to come here.” 

Remus’ lips tug downward, taking the ice from you and tilting your head so he can see it. “You hit your head and you didn’t call me?” 

“It’s nothing,” you promise him. “My boss just made me come in as a formality. For liability reasons, you know?” 

Remus remains uncomforted. He murmurs a quiet direction to the resident so the poor girl steps back from you. You shoot her an apologetic look as your boyfriend takes your head in both hands, prodding at the tender spot on the back. You wince, and he makes a very unprofessional cooing sound, stroking his thumb next to the nonexistent wound. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Even his dubious tone is gentled for you, the pinch of his mouth more worried than vexed. 

“It hurts,” you admit, “but only like any bruise would. It didn’t even break the skin, Rem, I’m totally fine.” 

He looks at the resident. “Any symptoms of a concussion?” 

“No,” the girl chirps nervously. You wonder that anyone could be nervous around Remus, but you suppose he is sort of like one of her bosses. “Pupils are normal, no dizziness or headaches, no reactions to light or noise, and no signs of confusion.” 

He nods, still frowny. You think he could stand to show her some appreciation, but this may not be the time to bring it up. “Alright, you can go. I’ve got this one.” 

“Thank you,” you say after her, and she flashes you a tiny smile before Remus eclipses your vision, taking your face in his hand. 

“You were fully honest, right?” he asks you sternly. “Didn’t downplay anything?” 

“I didn’t.” You summon your most placating tone, reaching up to wrap your fingers around his wrist. “I’m really fine.” You rub your thumb into his pulse point. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, everything was just moving so quickly. I wouldn’t have tried to keep it a secret or anything.” 

Remus lets out a long exhale, leaning forward so that his nose rests on your forehead. “I know you wouldn’t,” he murmurs. “But do you have any idea how scary it is to see someone you love in A&E, where you work, when you thought they were just going about their day unharmed?” 

Your heart contracts as the severity drains from his tone, replaced by a dull rawness. “I don’t.” You slide your touch up his arm to his bicep, squeezing gently. “I’m sorry. But I am unharmed, see? It’s all good.” 

He grunts fondly, kissing your forehead as he straightens. “Who drove you here?” 

“Marcus.” You’ll have to make your coworker some cookies or something as a thank-you gift, though you’re sure getting a half hour off work to chauffeur you here wasn’t an entirely unwelcome break. 

“And where is he?” 

“Back at work. He dropped me off.” 

Remus brow puckers. “He left you here?” 

“Well, it wasn’t like there was anything he could do,” you say, shrugging. You feel a bit sheepish, though you’re not sure why. 

“Still.” His jaw ticks. “Okay, I get off in less than an hour. Do you think you can sit tight until then? I’ll have someone bring you some fresh ice.” He levels your sloshy bag of ice with a disapproving look you want nothing to do with. “And did you eat lunch before your shift?”

“I’m good, thanks,” you say. “But I don’t need you to drive me home, Rem. There’s a bus stop right outside of here.” 

He scoffs. “I don’t care if you don’t have a concussion, I’m not letting you take the bus after you’ve just hit your head.” He squeezes your shoulder, thumb pressing into your collarbone. “I’ll have someone bring you a snack.” 

“It’s just a bump,” you argue, but Remus ignores you. 

“Try to leave, and I’ll be very cross with you,” he threatens as he walks away. “Cuddles are a privilege that can be revoked.” 

[soggyriceee]

Hiiii 👋 omg I love your writing soo much 😫😫😫

Can I request reader being insecure about her body because she saw a gorgeous woman talking to Simon? The woman wasn’t flirting with him or anything, but she was a bit touchy with him. And reader can’t help but feel insecure about her body… thinking Simon could have someone better. Only for him to make sure she’s the only one that he wants and his is desperate for.

Make it smutty 🥵🫠

Honestly have no idea if you’ve written this already or what but thank youuuuu if you do 🥹🩵

your graduation party was supposed to be your night, your night of attention, gifts, well wishes and endless, already paid for shots. of course by none other than your boyfriend Simon.

he was the one who planned this whole thing, waiting two years to finally see you get your college degree. he was nothing but proud of you.

of course as a result of him planning it, he invited a few co workers over. you didn’t mind, actually befriending a few of his female co workers yourself. jealousy and insecurity were emotions you and Simon barely felt, reminding each other every night of how much you both craved and loved each other.

and you cherished that deeply, always reminding yourself there’s no way Simon was going anywhere. but you weren’t sure if it was the drinks, or the crowds of people around you, but you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat as you made your way back from the bathroom to see one of Simons old fling from when he was still dating around talking with him and two others.

you watched from a distance, one of the servers coming around with another full tray of shots. you quickly grabbed one, turning your attention back to the tall, slender woman resting against the counter top, watching as her eyes stared so intensely at Simon, her red stained lips wrapping around her black straw.

you wanted to tell yourself she wasn’t seducing him, she was simply drinking and yoh simply had too many shots. but you could help but feel your anger bubble inside yoh more once her matching red nails pressed against Simons chest, laughing at the joke be obviously just made.

of course, you didn’t catch Simons reaction, how uncomfortable he got. how he cleared his throat and stepped towards the side, checking his watch as he finally noticed you’d been gonna for some time. “excuse me.” he would say, placing his drink on the counter and making his way towards the restrooms.

as he cleared them both out, he began to slowly feel his anxiety make itself into his mind, his fingers quickly pressing your name on his phone.

voicemail.

again.

voicemail.

again.

voicemail again.

“bunny you answer me right now, stop playing tbese games i know you at least feel your phone going off. tell me where you are before i flip this evil place upside down.” he said, weaving between pressed up couples and slumped out dudes against the wall.

but you were far from the club now, sitting at a Taco bell only two minuets from the place. of course you saw his calls but why answer them? in your mind, you had lost him. and that was the alcohol talking.

it took Simon 5 minuets before he began to explore further out of the building, taking note of the skinny purple taco bell sign. “you better be there..” he mumbled to himself, walking with urgency.

now, simon would like to say he was upset. infuriated actually. but his heart softened almost immediately when he saw you in the far back of the half full taco bell, wiping your eyes and stupidly getting hot sauce in them, dropping your taco in order to grab a spare unused napkin.

that was probably your breaking point, the fallen taco. you began to cry, not loudly, silently. but simon didn’t even have to sit down to get your attention, you smelt his cologne as soon as he got close, lifting your head to see him sitting down.

“w..what do you want.” yoh slurred out, your right eye squeezed shut from the slight burn of the hot sauce. “why are you here.” he said softly, grabbing another napkin to wipe the sour cream off your cheek. “you.. you cheated.. “ you replied, barely keeping the napkin to your eye.

“cheated? you’re way more than drunk.” he laughed, but when realizing you were serious stiffened. “what do yoh mean cheat?” he said, shifting.

you groaned, slamming your head on the table. he wanted to laugh, always finding your drunken state your cutest, but he knew that what you were saying you truly felt. “come on bunny.. let’s get you home.”

~~

placing you on the bed, he slowly lifted your dress, tossing it to the floor before turning to the dresser. “now.. which pajamas would you like tonight my love?” he asked, turning when he was replied to with silence.

he turned, his eyes landing on you going through his phone. he wasn’t mad, he was just really fucking confused.

“the.. the girl. where is.. she?” yoh slurred, pointing lazily to his phone.

“what?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “don’t lie to me!” you said, tossing his phone. “you still.. like your ex?” you said, quieter than you just were.

for a moment simon thought you were hallucinating, not recalling an ex anywhere you both’ ve been. but he realized very quickly you took a one time thing, from years ago, as him falling for another woman.

he placed your pajamas on the edge of the bed before walking over to his side. “you’re so cute when you’re drunk.. i like this little jealous you.” he smiled, crawling oven to the bed before grabbing your hips, placing you on his lap.

of course, given his job and all, he had his mask on once leaving the club and has since had it on. so, looking into his drunk eyes you couldn’t help but feel your cunt begin to pulse. his eyes were your favorite thing about him, and you loved fuckinf him with it on. his hands grabbed your hips as he sighed, eyes still on yours.

“you don’t know how obsessed i am with you bunny.” he said softly, his cock already hardening just from the sight of your sloppy drunk state. “i think aboht you all the time. who do you think i was talking about in that group hm?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

he pressed his hips up, both of you reacting pleasantly. your hands found his chest, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. “m-me?”

he nodded, dragging your hips forward, bucking his own hips up. “mhm.. that’s right baby. i was talking about you.. and how proud i am of you”, he praised, dragging your hips against his cock as his eyes drifted down to his lap, watching as your hips began to move, your heart pumping faster. “how beautiful you are, how good you treat me.”

immediately, your hips were moving by themselves, his praises alone enough to get you off. “i don’t even have to touch you do i baby? you’re gonna cum all on my pants just from my voice, hm?” he cooed, keeping your hips at the same pace. “you wanna hear how obsessed i am with you, how proud i am.”

your hips moved effortlessly against his tight pants, eyes rolling back as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. you whispered out helplessly, as your orgasm grew. “s-so close.” you cried out.

“go ahead baby get it all out.. give me all that cum baby go ahead..” he whispered, the feeling of you rubbing right against his hard on enough to make him cum too. and he did, right into his pants, feeling his cum trickle in between his thighs as your own cum seeped it’s way through his pants, only adding to the mess. “so messy we are.” he smirked, noting the embarrassment that painted your face.

your fingers dug into his sweater as you rode out your orgasm, your clit pulsing violently. simon was far from done tho, somewhat angry(?) at you for assuming he’d cheat, but he also didn’t wanna admit he was angry with you. he’d never really been angry with you.

he flipped you over with ease, your stomach pressed to the bed now as his hands roughly shoved your dress up, leaving your lacey red panties on. they were soaked, completely, making simon more hard. the idea of fucking you while your cum filled panties stayed on made him wanna cum again, and made his cock go from semi hard to hard right again.

quickly, he took his pants off, leaving his boxers on to stare at the wide circle of cum on his grey calvin klein’s.

“such a mess we made, lets make another one hm?” he smirked, grabbing your hips and pressing them against his. you could feel the cold, wet stain on your ass, causing you to push back on him. “such a waste, your a wasteful girl. all this cum should be inside you.” he sighed, his thumb making its way from the lower of your spine, down the crack of your ass, pressing only slightly against your asshole. “if you’re so wasteful you shouldn’t get any more hm? if it’ll just go to waste like this. you must not want it.”

your head turned back, fingers desperately trying to grab at the band of his boxers as to pull them down. but he was much quicker, grabbing your greedy hand by the wrist and pressing it against your back, grabbing your hair and shoving your face into the mattress. “now we’re greedy? this isn’t my good girl at all.”

you whined desperately, growing annoyed and tired of his teasing. he already had you in the most sinful position, why is he not fucking you already.

“please i need it.” you cried out, moving your hips back and forth as if he was really inside you. maybe it was the alcohol causing such delusion, but he loved it. he loved watching your dress slowly fall back down, covering the juggle of your ass as your hips slammed back against his. his dick wasn’t even out, but you could feel it and that’s all you needed.

however, he couldn’t be bothered to wait any more, needy for your walls to be wrapped around him.

quickly, his cock spring out of the hole in his boxers, your dress pulled up yet again.

“so impatient, so demanding.” he mumbled, wrapping his finger around your panties and pulling them to the side.

now, usually, you and simon would wear condoms. you both were very adamant about waiting for kids until you’ve both lived out your early 20s with parties, successful careers and the financial and mental ability to do so. however, he couldn’t help but wonder what your pussy felt like bare.

he’d dream of it, you having to actually wake him up from his own dream to help him because he’d dry hump you in his sleep. it was the cutest thing, his soft whimpers and random moans of your name. he knew he’d be wrong for fucking you with no condom, but it was the alcohols fault. he couldn’t help it.

he slid in, stopping halfway in because he couldn’t take the sound alone. the filthy squish of your wetness and cum as he pushed into you, his cock wet with all your juices.

continuing, he pushed himself all the way into your slimy cunt, his hand already letting go of your hand pined to your back. “s-simon!” you squeaked, only for your head to be pushed back into the pillow.

hos hands found your hips, wasting no time in fucking into you, one hand on the back of your head the other on your hip. “fuck you’re s-so beautiful bent over for me like this… oh it makes my cock so-so hard.” he moaned, shamelessly rolling his eyes back as your cum and slick coated his cock base to tip.

his lips formed into a smirk, a confident smirk, hearing how whiney you were for him, how hard you tried to squirm away from the abuse but he held you in place. you were a piece of paper compared to your muscular prince, quite frankly it was embarassing you thought you’d escape him so easy.

“think you’re gonna escape me? hm?” he bunched your hair in his fist before pulling your head up from the bed, your face bright red and tears running down your face.

fuck you’re beautiful, he would think to himself, feeling his cock twitching at the sight of you. it was pathetic truly, how quick and easy you made him cum. it was one of the reasons he was so obsessed with you, your pussy owns him. he knew and you knew it.

his balls slapped against your clit with each thrust, only adding to the growing overstimulated feeling. your lips grazed against each other, his hips still slamming into yours. “i-i’m gonna cum love” he groaned, his eyes staring into your helpless ones.

he loved how well you took him, how you just let him use you. how you were okay with being pounded into. “you gon lemme fill you up hm?” you whimpered a pathetic yes, so drunk you had no idea he didn’t even have a condom on.

“that’s right baby.. gonna give you all m-my babies. all my cum.” he said, his finger nails digging into your skin.

his cock twitched inside as your gummy walls massaged him so good, his balls still abusing your throbbing clit. “gonna be such a good mommy.” he panted, feeling his balls tighten as his orgasm worked its way through his body.

he took his hand from your hair to your throat, sliding his thumb into your mouth as he forced you to open wide. drool almost immediately slid down his hand, only making his thrusts more aggressive and sloppy.

“y-you’re gonna make me cum..” he choked out, a truly pathetic whimper slipping past his lips. “gonna fill you.. gonna fill you with all of it.”

he slid out, flipping you to your back in one swift movement before shoving himself rifht back into that warm pussy. his hands found the sides of your head, your legs wrapping themselves around his waist as he pounded rifht back into you.

his calloused thumb again found your clit, at this point hurting himself as he stopped himself from cumming. “come on princess cum for me.. cum for me show me how badly you want my babies in this fucking pussy.” he panted, his eyes locked onto yours.

and that’s what did it, his eyes.

your pussy convulsed around his cock, his tip abusing your cervix. it was way too much and you couldn’t take it.

“s-simon it feels weird.” you whined, your hands pushing on his lower abdomen. all the cum that he was waiting to fill you up with, came out the second your hands pressed on him. he wasn’t sure if it was the pressure, or just you, but he couldn’t hold it anymore.

“o-oh fuckk!” he groaned out, his hips slamming full force into you as his cum filled you up, earning a painful yelp from you. his tip was hitting directly on your cervix and the orgasm you just had, quickly disappeared and was instead replaced with pain.

but he was so in love with this new feeling, a whole new type of orgasm he’d never felt before. his hips continued their abuse on yours, his tip still sticking to your cervix. “simon it hurts.” you cried out, trying to get his attention that you weren’t trying to be sexy, it genuinely was agonizing.

but hearing how you began to sob, how you squirmed beneath him, it was a disgusting, dirty creepy fantasy of his. but he couldn’t help but feel another orgasm approaching him. “yea i know baby i-i… i know.” he panted, his eyes rolled back as his hips grew slow and sloppy.

he loved how you tried to fight him, how strong he was. maybe it was the forcefulness of it all, but he loved having you squirm beneath him. so much so, that when he came again, he couldn’t help but pin your hips down into place as he fucked his cum back into your hole, annoyed that any was even seeping out to begin with.

your stomach was on fire, it hurt terribly. and when simon had finally noticed you never even came, he looked down at yoh and saw the discomfort all over your face. “i-it hurts.” you whined, kicking him off of you.

the rest of the night and early morning was full of needles and IVS, the male nurses not even bothering to help you in any way. simon requested only female nurses for you, wanting to remain the only man who will take care of you and to help you up, despite being the reason you both were even in here to begin with

hoping and praying y’all like this one, i enjoyed this request a lot so 😼😼

[angelst4re]

heyy!! so I was wondering if you could do a like a oneshot of being enemies with jace and him teasing you about liking him and then it ending with him eating the reader out?? IM SO SORRY ITS VERY SPECIFIC LMFOOAOAOAOOA 💀💀

hi love!! ahh i had so much fun writing this!! i was tired when i wrote this so i got a bit carried away at the end and kinda turned this into an enemies to lovers... but i hope you like it!!

Heavenly Fire- Jace x Fem!Reader (he has too many last names.)

summary: in the request!

warnings: NSFW!! smut! porn with minimal plot... oral (f recieving)(jace is the king of giving head), fingering, first time(?), but no actual sex </3

notes: i couldn't think of a title for this :( fun fact: my shower isn't working right now that is what inspired me to write this! also i feel like i nailed jace's personality in this one, i always find it hard when i'm writing for jace because of his personality but this one...

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“God! Do you ever shut up?!” You turned around to Jace, who was following you towards the kitchen as Isabelle had just made lunch. 

“Now, I know I’ve been called heavenly, but a God? I’ve not heard that before.” He teased, earning an evil stare from you. 

“What are you talking about?” Isabelle asked, placing some bowls on the table of what appeared to be soup? 

“Jace is being a-“

“Y/n confessed her everlasting love to me, we’re getting married next week, I better go and inform Alec and Magnus-“ 

“Oh shut up, Jace! You know I don’t like you!” You gave Jace a shove before you sat down at the table. He snickered as he sat down opposite you, clearly happy with your reaction. 

“Keep telling yourself that, love.” He said under his breath before Isabelle joined the two of you at the table. 

There was no denying Jace was attractive, it was almost annoying how he always looked perfect. His perfect blonde hair and his perfect eyes and his perfect smirk and his perfect body- But that wasn’t why you hated him. You hated him because he was such an asshole all the time. He knew he was good looking, and he was overly confident- or so it seemed to you. He never had an issue when it came to one night stands, but you noticed he could never hold down a relationship. You would never see him with the same girl more than once, sometimes twice on the odd occasion. Even you had longer relationships than that (although Isabelle would say being together for 5 days didn’t count as a relationship.)

After finishing the soup Izzy had made, you gave Jace one last glance before standing up and placing your bowl by the sink. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After a long day of training, it was no surprise that you were sweaty and needed a shower. So, naturally, you headed to your bathroom, locked the door and began to undress. But there was a problem. 

Your shower wasn’t working.

You sighed and stepped back out, taking your robe which was hanging up by the door and slipping it on, tying it up, and unlocking the bathroom door again. 

You hoped that Isabelle would let you use her bathroom, as the spare bathrooms were tiny and quite frankly disgusting. But as you got closer to her room, you could hear music being played, and as you put your ear to the door you heard not only Isabelle’s voice but also Simon’s. You quickly dismissed this idea. 

But that meant you only had one more option. Jace. 

Alec was most probably at Magnus’ apartment, so you could use his shower- but you wouldn’t want to do so without asking him first. So you had no other choice. 

You felt a strange buzz of anxiety in your belly as you knocked on Jace’s door, all you wanted to do was have a shower, there’s nothing to be anxious about!

As he opened the door, you were met with a shirtless Jace, his hair damp and slightly wavy, his-

“Come to discuss our wedding, love?” He teased you, eyeing you up and down, trying to figure out if you were actually wearing anything beneath your robe. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and shook your head. 

“Jace, look, my shower isn’t working and Izzy has Simon over. I didn’t want to have to bother you but-”

“You want to take a shower with me? Without taking me to dinner first? Wow-”

“No, no! I meant, I- You-” You suddenly became quite flustered, unable to think of anything other than the sight of him in the shower, hair dripping, the way the water would fall on his body- Stop! You were sure you were blushing now, and as you looked back up at him, he confirmed it with a devilish smirk. 

“What’s got you so pink in the face, sweetheart? I thought you hated me?” He taunted you, and you couldn’t take it any more. The throbbing between your thighs was becoming almost painful as you wrapped your arms around his neck and captured his lips with yours in a needy kiss. You couldn’t help but think about what this would do to his ego. He was going to become unbearable to live with, but in the moment you couldn’t help yourself. He was so fucking hot, you could never truly hate him. 

You pushed him backwards a little, so you were both in his room with the door shut. If Isabelle saw the two of you right now, she would never shut up about it, telling you I told you so. You always denied your feelings towards Jace, hiding them with hatred, and he always expressed his feelings through teasing you, causing you to ‘hate’ him even more. 

Quickly, you pull away from Jace before he had the chance to rest his hands on your waist. 

“Oh, fuck!” You hid your face with your hands, turning away from Jace. You were such an idiot. 

“What is it? Did I do something wrong, I-” Jace genuinely seemed confused, and quite panicked by your sudden change in attitude. 

“No. Well, actually, yes you have. You’re such an asshole, Jace. But I can’t help every time I see your perfect fucking face, or your… What I’m trying to say is this was a mistake. I-” You were shut up by lips crashing into yours once more, this time more passionate than the last. His hand cupped your face as the other held your waist, leading the two of you closer and closer towards the bed. He must have seen the way your eyes were so lust-blown only a few moments ago, as his hand creeped towards the place where your robe was tied, and within seconds it had fallen to the floor. 

You would have felt nervous, even anxious about your body being on display like this, especially in front of Jace as he pulled away from the kiss, but as soon as you saw the way he was looking at you, your worries disappeared. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes half-lidded, his chest rising and falling as his breathing became heavier. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his hand gently placed on your shoulder. He slid it down your body, touching you for the first time. He gently caressed your breasts, massaging the soft flesh as small whimpers left your lips and your eyes fell shut. He took a moment to toy with your nipples, and that was when you let out an almost pornographic moan. At that, he dropped to his knees, his hand sliding down your torso until it rested just above your cunt. 

He placed kisses along your thighs before looking up at you, as if asking for permission. You eagerly nodded your head, you desperately needed him to touch you. 

He moved slightly and took one of your legs, lifting it over his shoulder to put your slick pussy on full display for him. He parted your lips with two fingers, before leaning in and swiping his tongue along your clit. The action was so sudden that your knees buckled beneath you, so he moved once more and pushed you down onto the bed. As your back fell onto the mattress, he pulled you closer to him so your knees were hanging off his bed. Then, he resumed his attack on your clit. 

“Oh fuck! Jace!” You groaned, slapping one hand over your mouth and tangling the other in his hair as he ate you out. 

He sucked you clit between his lips, earning a string of moans to fall from your lips, and that’s when he decided to trace his finger over your hole, before replacing it with his thumb. He eased the tip of his thumb in before pulling it out again, watching as your hole pulsed, begging for more. 

Without any warning, he slipped his middle finger into you and curled it upwards in a ‘come here’ motion as he continued sucking, lipping and nipping at your clit. Your back arched and your legs wrapped around the man between your thighs, pulling him impossibly closer to you. 

“Shh, it’s okay, angel. Think you can take another one?” He teased, bringing a second finger to your entrance. 

Jace had assumed you were a virgin, and he was right. However, he knew you had touched yourself before. Occasionally, you would think you were home alone and your hand would travel between your thighs, small moans and whimpers would fall from your lips as Jace passed by your room. It took all his strength to simply walk past, especially when you would moan his name.

He slipped the second finger in, and you felt that familiar feeling in your belly. However, this time it felt ten times stronger. You were worried that you would actually explode when you reached your high. 

“I know you’ve been wanting this, angel. Coming undone on my fingers, my tongue. Pretending you hate me, but I could see straight through you. I knew all along you were just a little slut, isn’t that right? I knew just how jealous you would get whenever a girl would come home with me, just how angry it would make you. But it’s okay, they never meant anything,” his thumb replaced his mouth on your clit as he spoke, and his words went straight to your core, “I knew all along you wanted to be my girl. Cum for me and I’ll make your wish come true, cum on my fingers, darling, I know you’re close. 

Just as your orgasm washed over you and your thighs began to tremble, Jace leaned down and captured your lips with his. You couldn’t help but moan against his lips, followed by strings of profanities as his fingers continued to pump inside you, working through your high. You had never felt so… wonderful. You were gasping for air but Jace’s lips were still on yours, you could even taste yourself on his tongue. 

You wrapped both of your arms around him and held him close, hoping he would lie by your side when you finally came back to reality. However, he escaped from your arms and went into the bathroom to retrieve a soft, damp cloth to clean you up with. 

“Stay still for me, darling.” He chuckled as he spread your legs to clean up your messy cunt, but your thighs kept pressing together. However, he managed to clean you up and threw the cloth to the corner of the room, to a pile of clothes that needed washing. 

He helped you up the bed, so your head was against the pillows, and lied beside you, pulling you close to him in a warm embrace as your head rested on his chest. 

He stroked your bare back, causing you to shiver slightly as it tickled, which seemed to amuse Jace. 

“So what does this mean?” You asked, moving your head to look up at Jace who was sitting against the headboard, one arm behind his head. 

“What does what mean?” 

“Everything you said, about being yours?”

Jace took a moment to think, and you were filled with a sudden panic that he didn’t mean what he said, that it just felt right in the moment. 

“You can use my shower, sweetheart. When you’re finished, get changed into something nice, or not- but I don’t think you’d want to wear leggings and a hoodie on your first date.” He said, a smirk creeping up on his lips. 

“Are you, the Jace Herondale- who never dates- asking me out on a date?” 

“No, I’m not asking you,” he chuckled, playing with your hair, “darling, I’m telling you.”

[erinfern0]

My god I'm obsessed with the way you write smut. Your gentle simon is making feel giddy 😭 though maybe I could request something perhaps.... Simon riley with GN s/o, but like... They're a virgin and they want to do it with so they try.... But it takes a lot of time, cause you know, it's hard to enter and nervousness and everything basically....... Maybe they do it in the end or maybe they don't and they leave it for another day, it's ok. I just love gentle and caring simon 🫡 hope you have a good day!

simon "ghost" riley x gn!virgin!reader

— gender-neutral anatomy, gender-neutral nicknames, only pronouns used are you, etc.

warnings: performance anxiety, general nervousness, use of lube, fingering, praise, failed attempts.

a/n: thank you so much for all the kind words and your patience, love!

Telling Simon was not as difficult as you thought it would be. He took it well, too. His reaction was a simple nod of acknowledgment and questions. He asked for the reason for your virginity, which made you chuckle. It never crossed his mind that he was your first actually serious relationship. He thought you were too hot, and you probably had lots of experience.

His idea of you being completely different from the truth didn't scare him. It excited him, pulling that little possessive devil on his shoulders to you. He loved the idea of him being your first.

Simon didn't rush things, despite him getting aroused around you all the time. The sound of your voice, your soft hugs, and interlocking your fingers with you were enough, more than he believed he deserved.

When you finally told him, you thought you were ready? He was right there for you. Simon told you not to worry about anything and prepared everything you needed just to take some stress away from you. Your date was set by him completely.

You arrived at his place 15 minutes early just because you felt nervous, but he knew you too well. As soon as you rang the bell, he opened the door with a smirk. “Hey, gorgeous.” he greeted you with a soft kiss on your lips, placing his hands on your neck to gently rub right behind your ears.

You smiled through the kiss, wrapping your fingers around his wrists to feel the warmth of his skin against yours a little more. He led you inside, guiding you through his apartment as most of the lights were either turned off completely or dimmed to add to the atmosphere, letting you feel at ease.

Simon's fingers felt warm, intertwined with yours as he opened the door to the bedroom. The first thing you saw was the bed itself, already made and waiting to invite you. You didn't even seem to notice the bottle of lube and a pack of condoms lying next to the pillows.

You stood there, frozen in your movements as he looked into your eyes. “We don't have to do this if you…” Simon started, but you shook your head.

“I am ready, Simon.” You reminded him, closing your eyes just to relax a bit more, the smell of candles finally hitting your nose. You smiled at the soft scent, rubbing your thumb over his hand. “I just think I need a little… guidance?”

He smiled warmly, placing his free hand on your hip, the other one bringing your own to his lips, letting him place tiny kisses over your knuckles. This was his type of 'of course, I'll do it for you'.

Soon, he was slowly taking off your clothes, kissing you and down your neck as you squirmed against him in anticipation. Then you tugged on his shirt, and he growled at the feeling of your nails digging into his flesh over the material.

You felt weak in the knees, which made him guide you to sit on the bed with just your underwear on, he quickly got rid of his clothes too, kneeling on the floor before you.

The pads of his fingers traced over your outer thighs, sliding right to your knees to spread your legs apart. You squirmed, cheeks warming from embarrassment when his eyes moved down, watching how excited you were. “All this for me?” he asked teasingly, fingers grazing your underwear.

Your legs shook slightly from such a foreign feeling, someone other than you, touching you in such a way, making your breath irregular. Your legs tried to close on him, but he held them apart with one hand, the other tracing all the shapes under the thin material of your underwear.

“May I take them off?” Simon asked, looking back at you, his eyes almost black from the way his pupils dilated. The nod of your head didn't convince him enough. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Y-Yes, you may.” you stuttered out, supporting your body with your hands behind you to lift your hips. He smiled, kissing your inner thigh before pulling your underwear down your legs.

He got up, playing with your hair as he guided you to lie back on the pillows behind you. You complied, lying your head down, legs closed, and pulled up to cover yourself as your hands mindlessly landed on your face.

He kneeled on the bed, rubbing your legs again, this time not spreading them. Simon leaned forward, your legs flattening against the bed to accommodate him. You looked at him through your fingers and bit your lip, so close to apologizing for your behavior.

“Please, don't hide from me.” he said quietly, voice husky and calm. You sighed and moved your hands away, placing them on his sides. “There you go.” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your jaw, moving down to leave more on your neck.

You gasped, not even aware when you spread your legs. His fingers traced the inside of your thigh, easing his way to your hole that clenching around nothing. Teasing it with his thumb, his teeth grazing over your shoulder just enough to keep you conscious in the moment with him.

You gasped at the feeling, almost moaning when, seconds later, his free hand poured some lube onto his calloused fingers, helping him ease his way into you, one finger at a time. It felt like nothing you experienced before. The slow rolls of his fingers against the spongy spot inside made your toes curl slightly, gripping the pillow under your head with one hand, bringing it close enough to hide your face in.

“S'that okay?” he cooed above you, nose nudging yours to help you look back at him. He loved the way your eyes looked, pretty and glossy with arousal, lips parted in soft gasps. He loved the smell of your skin and the taste it left on his lips. Simon loved you.

You kept your eyes closed when he leaned back to roll the condom over his shaft. The glimpse you got when your eyelids fluttered made your head dizzy. The sight of him slowly pumping his cock between your legs, helping the aching of it before he pulled the protection all the way to the base.

You whimpered, seeing how hard he was just from touching and kissing you. He was also big. Now, your mind only focused on his girthy length, so eager to finally feel you. You bit your lip, seeing him ease his fingers in and out of you, scissoring them around.

The waiting made you more anxious, seeing how patient he was helped you, of course. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to stop your body from reacting.

Your walls clenched around him, making it more difficult for him to move, the friction getting uncomfortable. You squirmed, trying to fight the feeling in silence, but despite your attempts, Simon noticed it.

The thrusts of his fingers slowed down, watching if that helped, but soon enough, he sighed. “Those things take time, baby… Relaxing a little would help.” his warm smile made you reach down to caress his forearm.

You nodded your head slowly, trying to catch a breath as you felt him ease his fingers out of you, lining his cock with your entrance. He looked at you for consent before trying to push the tip inside.

Your walls tightened around it, not even allowing it to slip in. Your jaw clenched in frustration, and you rolled your eyes at the feeling. It wasn't as painful as it was uncomfortable, but the more you thought about it, the worse it felt

“Or if you want to stop…” he continued, catching your gaze as he pulled away, soothing your entrance, slowly rubbing it with his tip in circles.

“No, I…” you started but quickly threw your head back with embarrassment. “I don't know, I'm sorry.” you whispered, closing your eyes, feeling how teary they got.

Anxiety, stress, embarrassment, maybe fear? All those emotions mixed within you made you shake slightly, irritated with your body. But Simon didn't feel the way you did. He wasn't frustrated or mad, just slightly worried.

“It's okay, do not ever apologize for something like this.” he shook his head and slowly kneaded your inner thighs with one hand. The other one rested atop your knee, slowly caressing it with his thumb. “I'm happy you trusted me enough to give this a try.”

“Really?” you asked, throat a little dry. Simon just nodded, leaning over to the bedside table, and took a bottle of water from under it. He handed it to you and smiled, helping you to get up, before grabbing some wet wipes.

“Of course, love. There's no need to rush, or anythin'.” he assured, slowly moving the wipe between your legs, cleaning you up as you were drinking. “We can just stay here and rest, you don't need to worry about this.”

His massive form moved from the bed again, and a smile appeared on his lips. He pulled his sweatpants back onto himself, throwing the condom away before sitting next to you, pulling your own underwear back onto your body.

His fingers caressed your warm cheeks, watching you try to catch your breath and calm down. He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “You did great, you know?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “I didn't do anything.” you whispered and looked up, catching his dark eyes, observing your reactions.

“You did a lot. It takes a lot of courage to get vulnerable like that. Yeah, we didn't go all the way, but it was so much already.” he calmed you, lying down next to you to wrap his arm around your waist. Hiding his face in your hair, he kissed the side of your head. “Get some rest, we can leave it for another day.”

You did as he said, muscles slowly relaxing beside him, hearing him hum in approval as your nails started tracing his tattoos. Your heartbeat slowed down, matching his that you could feel on your side. The night ended with both of you sleeping in each other's arms. More confident and happy to be with him, and to trust him like this again in the future. Sooner or later, you knew you wanted this. Tonight didn't go as you two planned, but you were yet to realize it's okay if you need to take more time.

masterlist | request info

[meatonfork]

imagine the task force r having like a 2 week or smth break and grim meets the task's partner or family members.... LIKE imagine grim meeting price's spouse and they treated grim like their own child and bake them pie or smth OMFUSHZJSHS

Mrs. Price?

————————————————————————————————————————

warnings: none!

pairings: p!price x grim

summary: price’s wife meets grim

————————————————————————————————————————

it was your first time leaving base after a mission was done.

after the death of your family, you never really had a place to call home aside from an empty apartment.

this time was no different. until it was.

you hadn’t planned on staying with your captain for two weeks, but he knew you didn’t have anyone to go to.

he knew you were either going to mope at the base, or your lonely apartment.

price has taken it upon himself to invite you, little ol’ grim, to his home. he cared too much to leave you alone.

little grim. little grim that hoards stuffed animals in their quarters. little grim who seeks comfort in men at least three times their size when they can’t sleep. little grim who forced movie nights, and piggyback rides.

his home filled with love. his home filled with warmth. his home filled with family.

asking the question was hard. actually, it really wasn’t. it was your reaction that had thrown him off.

“hey, kid. where you goin’ this break?” his shoulder leaned on your doorframe, hands in his pockets.

“uhm, i’m not too sure. probably just going to stay here?” you were sat on your bed, a record playing a love song softly in the background. you had a journal laid out in front of you, your pen tapping on the open pages.

“well, i was wondering if you’d like to come home with me? my wife already gave the go ahead. just up to you now.” a small smile made itself noticeable under his facial hair. kind eyes softening.

“what? why would you do that? i don’t want to be a bother, sir.” eyebrows furrowing and a little quiver to your voice made itself known.

tears pricked your eyes. no one ever offered that before. the apartment waiting for you hadn’t been stepped in in months. dust probably covered all the surfaces in the small space. you knew you’d have to go back at some point, or else there was no point in renting it anymore.

but, this offer had set your heart alight. it wasn’t a secret you had no one to go back to. but, you never wanted pity from it.

“we want you there. plus, she really could use having a guest other than me. pretty sure she’s bored of me by now.” he shrugged, his stupid hat tipping.

“i- i mean. are you- are you sure?” the only way price could describe your reaction was pure confusion.

this kid needs love.

and he wasn’t wrong. you needed to be loved. you wanted to be loved.

“well, yeah. i’m not that mean, grim.” he chuckled a bit.

“uh, yeah. sure! yeah. just let me pack up a bit.”

———

once you arrived at your captain’s home, a pit filled your stomach.

what if she hated you?

what if price got sick of you?

what if they kicked you out?

“grim, you alright?” price’s voice flooded your ears, snapping you back to reality.

you were stood in front of a decent home. a porch with a swing. small plants laid upon the wooden steps. trees around the yard. a big red door.

“yeah, i’m good cap.”

leading you into the house, price shouted for his wife, “sarah? honey, i’m home! got a guest too.”

you kicked off your shoes by the door, keeping a tight grip on the bag you packed.

sarah, a beautiful woman. long brown hair framed her face perfectly, kind brown eyes, and small smile lines.

she quite literally flew around the corner from, what you assumed to be, the kitchen.

“oh, love, you’re home!” her voice was calming, anxiety dwindling from the crevices of your mind. she slammed full force into her husband.

“hi, sweetheart. i missed you so much.” price sighed in content. one hand holding her head, the other on her lower back.

you stood there, not knowing what to do. your eyes shifted around the living room you stood in. a coffee table sat between a nice, soft couch, and a dark tv stand. dimmed lights and pictures of the married couple set a nice, homely, mood.

“oh! and you must be grim. john never shuts up about you!” sarah pulled away from her husband and reached out to you, pulling you into a motherly hug.

“oof- hi! yes, i’m grim! i hope it’s all good things, haha.”

“yes, dear! of course!” she pulled back, a hand still on your arm, and beamed at you. “you guys must be hungry. sit! i made dinner, and some pie. i hope you like apple.”

that night, in bed, you cried. tears of joy, and pure love.

price had come in to check you were settling in well, knowing your sleep troubles.

“hey, kiddo- what’s wrong?” he took large strides to sit beside you on the bed. a hand coming to rest on your knee.

sniffling, you wiped your under eyes.

“thank you.” it came out as a broken whisper.

“what do you mean?” his head tilted in confusion, like a puppy.

“thank you for bringing me here. you guys are so lovely. seriously, thank you so fucking much.”

he didn’t answer. instead, he pulled you towards him in a bear hug. his hand pet you hair.

“of course. you’re family, grim. you need to be reminded of that sometimes. and, we’ll gladly do it.” he softly kissed your head before standing up, ruffling your hair, and bidding you goodnight.

“please. do not hesitate to wake us up if you need something.”

“yes, sir.”

———

sarah was sweet. the two weeks you were there, she treated you as her own. constantly praising you on all your achievements, impressed considering how young you were.

made sure you had everything you needed. showing you around the block, and taking walks with you everyday. she took you to the shops, and showed you her and john’s favorite places to go.

she never got upset when you woke them in the night from screaming. she never blamed you when she found your eyes rimmed with red. she never forced you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. and you appreciated that.

when you left, sarah assured you that there was always a place in their home for you. even going as far as to invite you over the next time you had time off.

price never said it, but sarah knew you were their unbiological, army child.

the two would do anything for you.

don’t tell gaz, but you’re definitely price’s favorite.

————————————————————————————————————————

a/n: omg thank you sm for reading. i kinda love this! i imagine grim just standing in the doorway like this 🧍 when sarah was hugging price 😭

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Flowers [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x reader

word count: 8.4k

summary: some jealousy motivates Kaz to finally face how he feels about you

A/N: I have literally weeks writing this and I hope I got it right, I tried to write the reaction of jealousy as appropriate to Kaz as possible lmao. Also, when this Freddy photoshoot came out I just imagined. You'll find out later, I hope you enjoy it!

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

Kaz took a deep breath before opening the door, bracing himself for what he would face as he crossed into the next room, already a tremendous hubbub.

It was Inej's birthday and you had insisted on throwing her a celebration, something everyone else was excited about, because you thought that of all of you she was the most likely not to have had such a party. Well, actually the main candidate was Kaz but he would kill all of you when he found out that you had arranged a surprise for him.

You had decorated the room in The Slat and you had invited (threatened, rather) the members of The Dregs so that they would celebrate your friend and you also invited (to them, kindly) some girls from The Menagerie, with the security that if someone tried to touch them you would defend them. You also told the criminals that if they thought of bringing a gift they would make sure that it was not stolen, nor was it stained with blood, nor was it from the corpse of a dead person. And so far everything was perfect.

"Kaz!" he was greeted by Per Haskell, who had been playing cards at a table and already had a couple of drinks on him "Son, I admit that when you said you wanted to have a party I thought you were crazy, but this is great."

"Y/N wanted to do it, I didn't" he murmured sincerely and Per just laughed. Parties weren't really his thing, though he'd probably feel better after some alcohol. He looked for his usual group to get closer to them and not die from the anxiety that social situations generated in him.

He found five of his crows chatting and laughing at a table on which was an empty chair, which Kaz thought was surely for him.

"Look who decided to join the party" Nina mocked, looking at the black-haired boy with a smile.

"Happy birthday, Inej" he murmured politely, as he handed the girl a leather case containing a nice set of knives. Her eyes lit up as she thanked her friend and Kaz allowed himself to smile "Is anyone sitting here?"

"Y/N" replied Jesper, who had an arm around Wylan's shoulders "But she's been missing for a while."

"Maybe she's helping out in the kitchen," suggested Matthias, who was feeling more relaxed than usual.

"Huh-uh" Wylan denied, with a mischievous smile, while he took a sip of his drink "Look there" he exclaimed and his head pointed surreptitiously in one direction.

All eyes at the table looked at you at the bar and Kaz, who hadn't seen you before, was surprised by how jovial you looked. You had left your hair loose and you were wearing light-colored clothing, very different from the usual black, gray, or brown, along with ribbon adorning your hair, but the smile that this generated in the black-haired man was replaced by a frown upon noticing that you were smiling broadly towards another person. Towards a man.

"That girl is on fire" the Grisha mocked, quite proud, and the others made similar comments, between laughs.

"Who is that?" Kaz hissed, sounding angrier than he intended, at Inej, who was closest to him and most likely to know the answer due to your friendship.

“A new guy that Per hired, I thought you knew him. I heard that he comes from Shu Han”

At that moment he turned around and he could see the features that demonstrated that theory: tanned skin, slightly slanted eyes, and black hair. He wore a simple outfit, in very poor taste according to Kaz, and he couldn't have been more than 17 years old. He was just a brat who was too close to you.

Although he didn't say anything, you only needed to see the expression on his face to know that he wasn't happy, something that fortunately no one paid attention to, because they assumed that it was just a normal reaction in Kaz when seeing any kind of displays of affection.

"He's handsome," Jesper muttered, and Wylan turned to give him a pointed glare. "I mean, not like you, nobody's as handsome as you, but he… got his stuff."

Was he really handsome? Kaz didn't know if he was in a position to judge that, since he didn't even know if he was what someone would consider 'attractive'. That had never bothered him, of course, he was simply curious as to what the others might think. What could you think about, actually.

Most of them decided that the matter didn't deserve any more importance and they continued talking about other things, almost all of them logically related to Inej, however, he couldn't take his eyes off you and your peculiar company for even a second. He noticed you chuckled softly and when you did, he could see the guy across from you reach out to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear; Kaz squeezed his cane to appease the urge to go do the same to the aforementioned neck.

Almost as if you felt the heavy gaze you looked in his direction and when your eyes met you smiled reflexively, making his heart race. You still chatted for a while, but your attention wasn't entirely on your new friend now that you were aware of Kaz in the great room. In due course you apologized to him and before saying goodbye he stroked your arm too confidently, promising that he would make sure to look for you later. After he left you practically ran to the table where your friends were.

"Y/N" Inej laughed, feeling you hug her from behind.

“How is the most beautiful birthday girl in the place doing?” you asked excitedly, kissing her on the top of the head and hearing her reply that everything was excellent “Oh, hello, Mr. Brekker. What a joy that you honor us with your presence” you joked as if you had barely noticed, and you were disappointed to see the unfriendly look he gave you.

“Who was the young man you were talking to?” Nina asked casually, while her boyfriend shook his head at how gossipy she was sometimes.

"Lior?" you muttered. So that was the name that should be written on the tombstone "It's huh... a new guy, he was thanking me for inviting him"

“I hope he doesn't get used to it,” Kaz said grudgingly. “Don't think there will be any more birthday parties. Much less with all these Dregs”

A collective groan was heard, alleging that the boss was very bitter and appealing to 'healthy coexistence', which amused you.

"That was my chair, shall I sit on your lap or shall we bring a new one?" you exclaimed, close to the man's ear. Kaz didn't expect that and it was obvious you didn't mean it, but he had to abruptly get up from his chair and walk away, leaving all of you stunned.

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! I just told him that I was sitting there, but I was kidding, I didn't want him to leave”

“That's how he is,” Inej said, with a touch of bitterness and a shrug. But you didn't take that so lightly, you hated that Kaz was mad at you because he made you feel so guilty, even if you didn't know what he was mad at. Maybe you had crossed some line? You weren't even going to! It had only been nonsense that had escaped your lips for the liquid value that you had ingested.

You ended up taking the chair that he had left empty and although you participated actively in the conversation you couldn't help but feel restless. Of course you didn't know that Kaz had left there to prevent you from noticing his cheeks flushed with fury at the scene he had seen and the way you had said the name of this Lior guy, a blush that only increased when he felt your breath so close to his skin and hear your soft voice.

First he had to calm down, why had that bothered him in the first place? Although he was aware of a certain protective relationship that he had towards all of you, it was not normal to feel that anger when you were talking to someone else, or when another man was touching you. Jesper was constantly holding your hand, once he had found you and Wylan cuddled up sleeping on a couch and you always challenged Matthias to fights you knew you weren't going to win and he just laughed it off, making no effort. But that was different, he had touched you… with other intentions. Kaz was no fool and he knew better than anyone that you were beautiful in every way, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. He maybe couldn't appreciate the masculine beauty, but, although it was not in his total interest, he could judge the feminine. So he was mad because a guy was interested in you? Was that what explained the heat that grew in his chest and that now he himself was torturing him? But why?

“Kaz Brekker?” said a voice behind him. He had gone outside to get some air and didn't recognize who had called him until he turned around. Today was his damn lucky day "My name is Lior, Per said that you are like the boss"

"I'm not like the boss" Kaz replied with total contempt "I'm the boss"

"Huh, yeah, sure. I'm sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself” Kaz looked at him without saying anything, obviously trying to make the other understand that he had no interest in meeting him, and the boy took the opportunity to clear his throat before speaking again “And… ask you if… a girl I was talking to is from your team. She mentioned you before, her name is Y/N”

Kaz didn't know what that Lior had in mind to go and ask him such a thing, but for a moment he believed in the Saints and thanked them for making him so stupid.

"And what does that interest you, silly boy?" he muttered. Lior was probably the same age as Kaz, but the black-haired man had the advantage of being a few inches taller, of having an imposing presence leaning on his cane, and of… well, being the fucking boss.

"In nothing, I just thought I'd ask you" replied Lior, visibly dismayed by the unexpected hostility of his new leader, and mistakenly thinking that he would fix something, he continued: "She's very kind and I wanted to get to know her better, I thought you could help me”

“You're here to steal, spy and obey orders, you're not here to meet girls, let alone someone like her. So I recommend you keep your distance and focus on the job, which is why we hired you”

To say that Lior was terrified was an understatement, even though the opponent had held back a bit. For a moment he thought that Kaz took his job very, very seriously (it was partly true) so that's why he had been so annoyed at the suggestion of him looking for one of his close friends. He never knew that he was mad to hear that someone so vulgar wanted to befriend his Y/N.

"Kaz!" for a second he thought he was imagining your voice, but when you appeared a few seconds later he knew it wasn't like that "I was looking for you, you... Lior" you interrupted yourself, looking at the other young man who had paled a little "I see that you are already met"

"Yes, we already had the fortune" he answered with all the sarcasm existing in his body, although you didn't notice it.

"I was leaving, anyway"

“Wait, have this,” you said, handing the boy a piece of paper “It's a restaurant, Nina and I go there for breakfast all the time. If you ever want to join us, just say so” Your tone was so kind and your face so happy that Kaz was afraid he would start foaming at the mouth.

"Yes, I..." Lior didn't dare look at Kaz, who was watching him with murderous eyes "I'll think about it, bye"

"Bye," you replied, a little disappointed by his lack of effusiveness.

"You really want to make new friends," he snorted with inevitable scorn.

“Well yeah, my old friends run away from me,” you muttered, keeping your tone playful no matter how upset he was. Then you sighed and got a little more serious, “Listen, I know you hate parties and people, but I would really appreciate it if you were with us at the table. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I did this to have a fun time and to make Inej happy. There is alcohol inside, if you don't like it, I can find you something better to prepare the drink you prefer but, please, stay even for a while"

His frown on him relaxed considerably as he watched your pleading eyes looking down at him but the unknown feeling towards the new guy grew like flames consuming an entire forest. You had told him where you used to go for breakfast, which meant you wanted to see him again.

“Only if you promise not to go out with that idiot” 

“With Lior? And why shouldn't I?

"I already told you. He's an idiot" he said simply and you laughed.

"And how do you know?"

"He looks like one"

"You're going to need a better reason than that and probably a bouquet to convince me otherwise," you muttered, totally sure that the latter was so ridiculous that it would only prove that you weren't going to change your mind. Lior wasn't the most handsome guy for you, that place was reserved for someone special, but you had decided that giving him a chance wasn't such a bad idea “Come on, don't be grumpy, and let's go in there. I got a cake and you don't want to miss it,” you said, starting to walk back inside, and after sighing Kaz followed you without question.

Once morning came the birthday cheer was gone and things went on as usual; going to the Crow club, keeping order at The Barrel, odd jobs, and a couple of unfortunate fights.

In the span of a week you had already seen Lior at least three times, and he always seemed to be conveniently close to various places you frequented. Being with him was nice and little by little you were getting used to his company, the only thing that seemed too strange to you was that every time Kaz appeared in the same place as you he said goodbye and left immediately before your boss could see it. You assumed he was just afraid of him, like most people, and you didn't say anything.

Suddenly you began to think that you had hardly seen the man in those days and you wondered if he was attending to your basic needs since you had hardly seen him go to the kitchen of the place for the food that you prepared. Sometimes loaves of bread would disappear, but that was Fahey's trademark.

"You are listening?" asked Lior, who was in front of you at a betting table and had brought you out of your musings. You were taking a break at the club and again he was hanging around so you thought about having a drink but right now you only remembered the beginning of what he had been saying to you so you couldn't lie to him even if you wanted to. You just smiled embarrassedly in response, making him laugh. "Too much to think about?"

"No, none of that. I was only gone for a moment"

"Well," he started to say, with what you'd already recognized as a flirtatious smile, "I hope I can find you when that happens."

You were going to answer something when you heard a fight near you. A couple of drunks had a disagreement over who had won the game and they thought the most effective way to settle it was beating. You quickly got up from your chair to separate them and had to dodge the fists several times, having no luck a couple of times. Lior was about to jump in to help you when suddenly one of the men fell to the ground with a thud. Everyone in the room looked in the direction of whoever had knocked him down and there was the only logical option.

"If you guys want to beat up each other like animals, do it outside my establishment," was all Kaz said. You were still holding the other man back, but he didn't put up much of a fight when he and his friend were escorted outside. You shook off your jacket and rubbed your arm where one of them had managed to hit you.

This time Lior couldn't escape the boss's eyes and Kaz felt his blood boil again at the sight of his face. He still didn't fully understand the nature of his feelings, but it was clear to him that he didn't want you near that boy after a couple of days when you no longer stopped by to say hello in his office or struck up a conversation with him. Although, indeed, he was never the most sociable now he wanted to make an effort to spend more time with you, but he had difficulties finding ways to do it.

"Damn drunks, huh?"

“Did they hurt you?" he asked quietly. You looked up in confusion and took a moment to process it. Was Kaz worrying about you?

I mean, he cared for all of you during missions and times of real danger, but on those occasions he just saw to it that you stayed alive and continued his duties. It was weird hearing something verbal.

"Nothing I can't handle," you replied, with a challenging little smile.

“I want you to help me with some things. Unless you're busy…”

Saying this he looked at the skinny boy behind you, who looked away immediately. If there was one thing to be recognized about Kaz, it was how he never showed fragility and therefore forced others to surrender first.

"It's that urgent?"

"So I would say"

Now it was you who held his gaze for a few seconds, looking for something implicit that would reveal why he now wanted to take you to another place, but there was nothing. There was only neutrality in those beautiful blue eyes.

“Lior, I have to go. Some work" you exclaimed and he internally celebrated the apparent victory that you had chosen him over someone else, although the satisfaction was short-lived when he saw that you took a step and planted a kiss on the boy's cheek.

Kaz thought about how he wasn't mad at you, but at him, and it suddenly dawned on him that he was actually jealous. That was what he was feeling like a plague.

Jealousy.

You noticed the radical change in his attitude when he didn't even look at you and began to walk quickly down the hall, so you had to speed up to keep up with him. Worst of all, he didn't really have anything he needed help with, he'd just said it so you wouldn't be with the Shu boy, so when you set foot in the office he was stunned.

“I want you to help me sort these documents by date,” he said, extending in your direction a huge folder that he found in a drawer that only contained papers from the previous year. It was not necessary to order that because he had already used it, but he preferred to ask you that than look completely dumb. 

"And the magic words?"

"Abracadabra?" he said sarcastically, but he sighed heavily at the sight of your crossed arms and your clear intentions of not taking the folder until he said so "Please, Y/N"

“Do you see how cute you sound being a polite child?” you exclaimed to annoy him and before another complaint you took the things and placed yourself in an empty end of the desk.

Kaz watched you from time to time, intent on your task, your lips slightly pouting, and each time he did he felt his heart swell. 

What was happening to him? he was afraid that he would find out and not like the answer.

You finished in record time and he let you off to wherever you wanted to go through the door, a little worried that it was with the new kid. As soon as you left he took his hat, coat, and cane to go directly to The Slat, hoping that the person he needed was there.

He knocked on the door a couple of times, but no one answered and for a moment he felt desperate. He badly needed the help of the one person he knew who wouldn't judge him for asking obvious questions and also had enough discretion so that others wouldn't realize he suspected he had feelings for you. He suspected. 

He was going to make one last attempt which wasn't necessary as the door swung open as he raised his fist, revealing a small figure with loose hair and less weaponry than usual.

“Kaz?”

"Hello, Inej"

You were sitting in the dining room of your shared house, pouring yourself some coffee in a chipped cup hoping it was strong enough to wake you up, while you racked your brains trying to solve the mystery that had been bothering you for a few days ago. 

Turns out, after the drunken brawl incident and helping Kaz, you had gone to rest, falling asleep on the bed almost immediately. No problem with that. The strange thing was that the next day you had woken up with a bouquet of wildflowers of various colors resting on the nightstand. The first time you thought that you had put it there and you didn’t remember it, so you just sniffed it with pleasure and placed it in a glass of water. Normal day, you went to sleep at the end and the next morning there it was again. You knew that it was not the one you had collected the day before because these were in the glass. A little confused, you put the new flowers with the old ones and continued with your day, without imagining that the next morning things would repeat themselves. Three times in a row was already disturbing, so you made an effort to imagine who was the author of all this. If it was the girls, it was nice that they had such detail, and you could have even tolerated it from Jes, Wylan, or Matthias, but if it was an outsider then it was a worrying situation because it implied that a lunatic had been messing around to your room at night for a week straight. You made sure to lock your room and still, the flowers appeared there, as if it were a magic trick.

Was it Lior? Impossible, or you would have seen him come in in the morning or at night. Also, one day you had woken up earlier than usual and even that time the flowers were there.

"Bonjour" greeted an energetic Jesper, who had appeared still in nightwear, and ruffled your hair as he approached you "You don't look very lively"

"I am not a morning person," you said sipping your coffee.

One by one your other companions joined the morning coffee, Kaz being the last to arrive. It was funny how much 'morning drinks' could say about each of you: Inej drank coffee with some sugar, Jesper coffee with cream, Wylan drank tea, Matthias just milk, Nina hot chocolate and lastly you and Kaz shared a taste for the coffee bitter and very hot, so it was not a surprise that when he arrived you already had a cup for him.

“We're running low on supplies,” Matthias announced, pointing to the empty cupboard, to which you groaned.

None of you had any culinary skills, but since you were the least likely to give them food poisoning, they had all decided that you would be the designated cook, which included doing the shopping.

"I'll go to the market later"

“I will accompany you,” Kaz said, so fast that they all fell silent and turned their heads to look at him. Observing the situation, he adopted a defensive attitude "I need to buy some things too and I have to make sure Y/N isn't wasting money"

“Sure, my specialty is diverting resources by saying I bought potatoes,” you joked, rolling your eyes. “If you want to go with me, let's go now. At this time there are fewer people" you explained and he nodded. You just finished drinking your coffee and grabbed a large bag in which you loaded the food before leaving the building.

As soon as you got out, they started speculating.

"Why did Kaz want to go?"

"I wonder the same thing"

“Maybe he really did have things to buy,” Matthias said, and though Nina heard her black-haired man's racing heart, she decided not to contradict anyone. Inej looked at her almost as if she read her thoughts and they both shared a knowing look without saying anything.

On the way to the market, neither of you spoke, but he noted that you were right when you said that the city was quieter at that time, probably because life in The Barrel really began when night fell.

The market was quite a distance away, but he put up with it like a champ, so when you got there you were very hungry and you assumed he was the same.

“Eat,” you said suddenly, extending to Kaz a piece of bread with jam inside that you loved to buy when you went there “I pay for this with my own money, by the way. So you don't accuse me of being a thief."

"You are a thief," he reminded you, grimacing and taking a bite of the piece of food. It was sweet, freshly made, and melted in the mouth.

You two walked for a couple of blocks, still in silence, while you were choosing food. You were wondering what those 'things' were that Kaz needed to buy and when he would ask you to make a detour to a store, but the moment didn’t seem to come, which made you suspect that there was really no such reason and it was just an excuse. You were curious as to what he might be looking for by doing that and you let your mind wander to possible answers, from when he was looking for advice he didn't yet know how to ask to when he just needed some fresh air and jumped at the chance, without you being involved in any way.

Kaz, for his part, was entering a crisis. He wanted to talk to you and have a nice time but he didn't know how to do it. He had thought that, once you were alone, the words would sprout by themselves and then you would continue the conversation, however, he had limited himself to watching you feel the fruits to decide which was ripe and which was not.

“Do you think she really likes that boy?”

“I don't know” Inej had told him “But I don't think that's the case either” she continued and her friend nodded his head “I think what she likes about him is that he listens to her and keeps her company; he is attentive to her. You could start there."

"Are you hungry?"

"A little, nothing that will kill me"

"Let's have breakfast" he murmured. Did it sound like an order? Yes, but he hoped to get a little better with practice.

"Only if you pay" you answered with a mischievous smile.

He led you to a small establishment you'd never been to, which he probably chose because he was all alone, and you sat at one of the little tables with worn cushioned chairs, facing each other. The question you wanted to ask him was on the tip of your tongue, but you were still working up the courage to gesticulate it.

Kaz ordered some eggs and bacon and since you were craving something sweet you ordered some fried dough stuffed with currants, on the recommendation of your companion, and both of you ordered the second coffee of the day.

"And what is?"

"What is what?"

“The deal” you exclaimed, as if it were obvious, but he didn't seem to understand “I suppose if we came here alone it's so you can ask me to make a deal. Steal, spy on someone right?"

He was stunned for a moment. Didn't you notice the effort he was making? Was that your idea of his actions? Honestly he couldn't blame you, because, probably, in other circumstances that would have been the case to isolate himself from the others in the group. But not now.

"There's nothing" he replied, but you narrowed your eyes to let him know that you didn't believe him "No tricks, I promise"

"So does that mean I'm the boss's favorite?" you asked with mock enthusiasm, deciding to play with his patience a bit.

"Shut up or you're going to lose your privileges," he countered. It felt good to tease you, have a little fun for a change.

You were sitting there until the mass of people that gathered at noon allowed it and then you returned to The Slat with your hands loaded with bags that at some point in the day you would place in the cupboard, not wanting to do it immediately so as not to spoil the atmosphere of peace between you and Kaz, who hadn't left you yet.

“Anything in particular you want for lunch?” you asked, moving closer to him. It was just the two of you in the kitchen and the rest of the place was relatively quiet. "You know, to offer you privileges to threaten you with later."

He almost laughed, but the suppressed smile you saw on him was enough to make you want to see more. You and Kaz were friends (or so you hoped, at least) but there weren't many memories between you like that, almost all of them were related to work or at the club or with one of you saving the other's ass. You had only once helped him heal a wound, just because he couldn't reach that section of his back and then he justified himself by asking for your help by saying that it had been partly your fault, which was totally false but that you weren't going to argue with him if that made him feel less embarrassed.

It felt different, like something more relaxed, soft… more domestic. You had just returned from shopping together, you had eaten an exquisite breakfast that he paid for and now you were asking him what he wanted you to prepare for him to eat… were you a couple of criminals or a newly married couple? 

The thought of a marriage with Kaz warmed your cheeks and you wanted to laugh at how absurd that would be.

"Whatever you want, anyway, my stomach already has enough defenses against indigestion" upon hearing this you barely pushed his arm, but as soon as you did, your eyes widened as you remembered who you were talking to, although to your surprise he didn’t complain.

"I'll make pea soup," you informed. You knew it was one of his favorites because of the second course he always served himself when he thought no one else was looking. You did, you looked at Kaz Brekker all the time.

He just hummed in the affirmative and left without another word.

During the course of the morning you did more activities, but you couldn't stop thinking about him and the walk they had taken together. Suddenly you would surprise yourself remembering his expressions at your bad jokes and smiling like a fool when you thought about how beautiful his eyes looked with the brightness of that morning.

Kaz ever had a partner? Did he like someone? Was he even interested in those things? You didn't know, but it wasn't a crime to have some admiration for him either, right? Jeez, he'd only been a little nice to you, why were you so excited about that?

You had never thought about whether you had feelings for him, beyond the initial working relationship that had now become a kind of family bond, although now you were reflecting on it.

And later, when his expression brightened from the plate of food you served him, you felt that it might not be such a wrong idea.

I like your smile.

It was the only note that had been left with the flowers, which you had been receiving for quite some time. Always without fail, always on the nightstand in your room.

Although you were worried about who this "secret admirer" might be, your curiosity was greater and you had been careful not to mention anything to your friends. Well, it was really just the boys, because Inej and Nina knew a lot about things, since the jobs to steal were scarce lately, you guys had more time to do anything else. 

Kaz trusted any of you so he let you roam the Crow club as you please, but also to check that things were in order: no scammers, control fights, check that the girls weren't harassed by the clients, things like that.

That night the club was short of a barista, so you and Wylan had split the responsibility for it by taking turns meeting the demand.

He was more skilled than you at making cocktails, perhaps due to his chemical mixing skills, but still the boy was patient with you and he only laughed when you messed up.

"I prefer this to be like poor Jes” you muttered amused, because from where you could see the boy sitting next to the door playing with one of his guns, obviously annoyed because Kaz had ordered him to stay away from the gaming tables. You thought that Wylan also had something to do with it, because they both hated that it fueled their gambling problem "But I need to distract myself a bit, will you be okay by yourself?" you asked. You knew he would be fine so you walked out of the bar without much guilt.

You were taking a walk among the tables when you felt someone grab your arm and you turned defensively. It was Lior, who you had already served too many drinks for a person of his size and now he was suffering the consequences. After serving perhaps the fifth in a row you got a little worried, but you didn't want to intervene because you thought it was none of your business. As long as he paid them, you had no objection.

"Y/N," he said, drawing out his tongue. Several of the Dregs were standing around him, apparently also drinking some beer, and were watching you curiously. "Sit with us," he ordered, patting an unoccupied chair next to him.

You didn't want to be rude and tried to say you were working now, but he was insistent until you agreed to sit down for a few minutes. The other men weren't chatting with you, probably as a matter of avoiding trouble with the boss, but Lior was particularly eloquent. As an effect of alcohol, he didn’t measure distances and sometimes he would spill some beer near you or invade your personal space to talk to you. You let it go because you didn't want to cause a conflict and, to a certain extent, it was tolerable.

But after a while, his behavior became more annoying. He was holding your hand and even tried to stroke your leg, but what made you jump back was when he leaned in for a kiss. Luckily you had been faster.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" you asked flustered, drawing the attention of the others at the table.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't want to" he replied. His body leaned towards you again and you moved further away, which made him annoyed "I've seen how you look at me"

"Sorry, what?"

"You want me," he stated. You were suddenly startled by the confidence with which he was saying that and how deep his voice sounded, like that of a wild animal. And, from his perception, you played the role of the prey.

"That’s not true, fuck you," you spat, getting up from your chair, but you were stopped by his strong grip on your forearm.

"Come on, Y/N. You like me and I like you, stop making yourself difficult"

"I told you no" you exclaimed with a trembling voice. The problem wasn't whether or not you could face the boy, but that he had caught you off guard. Although it was true that you liked him a little, you weren't going to allow him to want to kiss you just like that, to say the least… because judging from his insistence, you doubted that a kiss was all he wanted.

You almost screamed as he pulled you towards him and this caught the attention of several people around you, but before you could do anything an object came between you and threw Lior back into his chair in one movement.

It was a cane.

It was clear that by this point several tables had already stopped their games to pay attention to the menacing expression of the bastard with the barrel hovering over a drunken kid imprisoned in his chair.

"No means no" Kaz said slowly and quite close to the challenging face of the opponent. It was almost like he had been watching you the whole time, waiting for the perfect moment to intervene, or maybe he just had a sixth sense that would alert him when one of his crows was in trouble.

He thought that this would be enough to scare the boy and withdrew the cane from his chest, intending to turn around to check on your well-being, but he did not count on the fact that Lior's drunken state also gave him the courage to dare to jump in to hit him. The black-haired man's instinct made him turn around just in time to stop the drunk and throw him face-first against the table, holding his folded hand against his back.

If there was anyone left who hadn't noticed the discussion that was enough for them to notice, including Wylan, Jesper, and Matthias who had risen from their places to intervene if necessary. But it probably wouldn't. Kaz was furious.

You saw him whisper in the boy's ear and you knew it was a threat from the expression on his face, in addition to the groan of pain that the youngest emanated when Kaz mercilessly pulled his arm.

He remained in that position for a moment, completely blinded by anger, enjoying the cries of pain the shu boy was making.

"Get him out of here" Kaz ordered The Dregs, who had been watching everything in silence. You also didn't get to hear what he said to one of them, but the chances of Lior waking up the next day in pain from a beating were pretty high.

As you backed away you collided with a huge body and calmed down to see that it was Matthias, asking if you were okay. It didn't take long for all the men of the team to gather around you to ask what had happened, but you were still a little stunned to answer coherently.

Even so, you looked for Kaz's gaze just to realize he didn't look angry, but worried and his eyes were in charge of communicating everything that his mouth didn't. Somehow you quietly reassured him too, but he couldn't bear to see the glitter that threatened to turn to tears.

"Thank you" you managed to whisper, still a little nervous.

“Take the night off,” the black-haired man murmured, again sounding more like an order than a suggestion. “Walk her to The Slat, Jesper. Matthias, stay at the door”

The three of them returned to their respective posts and for a moment you thought that Kaz was also going to accompany you, but when you looked back he was already rushing with a firm step towards the door where the rest of his men had left.

Once you were in your room, and Jesper made sure for the thousandth time that you were okay, the feeling of discomfort eased considerably, but you noticed the bruise already beginning to form on your forearm from the man's grip.

What had happened to him? He had always been kind to you and respectful... you didn't even think that he would behave like that with you. You were disgusted and even scared by how quickly things had happened, but you were infinitely grateful that Kaz had come like a guardian angel to help you. You probably could have handled that on your own, however, the shock of receiving that kind of treatment from a person you were beginning to trust and even care for was what put you at a disadvantage.

You struggled a lot to fall asleep, because a part of you felt very hurt and sad to think that you didn’t deserve to have sincere love, but one where they only wanted you for physical matters.

Also, the flowers didn't arrive that morning.

When you finally got out of bed you were having trouble concentrating on anything and Nina had to take care of breakfast because you were too sensitive to do anything. This didn’t go unnoticed and everyone insisted that you rest a little more, but when Kaz arrived and realized the situation he didn’t wait to take action on the matter.

“We’re going out,” he said, when he finally intercepted you alone in the kitchen area, even though you weren't in much of a mood at all.

"A job?"

"A walk" he corrected you. You looked confused but didn't say anything and when it was time to leave The Slat you realized that Kaz wasn't talking about hanging out in a group, but just the two of you.

You didn't know where he was taking you, yet the road was as silent as usual. He watched you out of the corner of his eye just to see if your features changed in any way with the landscape, the aromas, or the morning breeze, but he felt a little disappointed when he noticed that your expression was still serious and even a little sad.

He wished he had taken more time with Lior last night.

"He won't bother you again" when he remembered that, he felt the need to let you know that now you could rest easy, and that you know that he himself had taken care of dealing with the matter.

"I don't doubt it," you said, letting out a bitter laugh. You knew what Kaz was capable of when he was angry. "It's just... I feel silly."

"Did you love him?" the man asked. You had already arrived at the place where he wanted to take you in the first place: it was a small meadow, with a lonely bench and too much life to be in the sad and gloomy Ketterdam. It was like finding a little piece of heaven on earth.

“Love him? By God, no, of course not. It was nice to be with him, but… talking about love is too strong. He was just an idiot”

"I'm sorry this has happened" he exclaimed, a little calmer after hearing your negative words about the other man, and at the same time the fact that you were alone gave him a little more confidence to say what he was thinking without being judged, trying to make you realize that he really cared about you.

"It's okay" you smiled to reassure him. He was going to say something else when a purple stain caught his attention under the sleeve of your dress that you had already risked up to the biceps. The night before he didn't notice that the boy had hurt you when he struggled and at that moment his blood boiled with anger "It's nice"

"What?"

"The place," you said, looking everywhere; the slightly gray sky, the birds flying around, the flowers growing next to your feet, and Kaz right in front of you. All of that made up the beauty you were talking about. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I thought maybe you needed to calm down a bit"

"Then you're a good friend," you said softly. Kaz couldn't remember anyone using that term with as much fondness filtered into their voices as you just did.

Friends. You were friends, you loved him at least a little.

"I hope so. I don't have much practice” he confessed and you smiled tenderly. Although you wanted to keep seeing Kaz, something in you forced you to look at the floor, as if there was something there calling you.

The flowers… were those flowers. You could recognize them after receiving them for days and keeping them fresh in the vase: there were the yellow ones and the lilac ones, both with small petals and a brown center.

You paused for a moment to make sure you weren't misreading or confusing things, but when you knelt down to pick up a cluster you knew for a fact that your theory was correct.

"What a curious thing"

"The flowers?" he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. Even though you couldn't see his face, you somehow knew he was frowning.

“I've been getting exactly these kinds of flowers every weekday for a while now,” you said, getting up and showing Kaz the plants. “The stranger places them on my nightstand before I wake up, every time, without fail. Except for today"

"Maybe I wanted you to come to see them in person"

You froze in place, not expecting such a quick confession from him, and he looked at your face for a reaction. You were still holding the cluster in your hand and you unconsciously squeezed it hard.

In a panic you tried to find another interpretation of his words that didn’t imply the fact that he was the author of those signs of love, but you couldn’t find it. And from the man's slightly embarrassed face, you assumed that was true.

But the worst thing about it was the existence of the note that had kept you tossing and turning the day you received it. I like your smile. Kaz had written that too?

"So... it was you"

"Who did you have in mind?" he asked, a bit defensive, and you smiled, shaking your head.

“No one, I didn’t imagine who it could be. Honestly, at first, it scared me to think that someone was stalking me” you said sincerely. You looked at the bouquet of flowers again and noticed that some were withered, thinking that Kaz probably always chose the prettiest ones to take with you. You fell silent, not of your choice, but because he wasn't saying anything, and then you closed the distance between you by taking a small step forward, still respecting his personal space but enough to make the conversation intimate. “Why did you do that?”

Words were never Kaz's strong suit and he felt his throat tighten as he tried to answer you. What could I tell you about that? Did he himself have a coherent reason for doing that?

He thought you were going to get mad at his silence, but you smiled tenderly because, although he didn't realize it, once again his eyes had been in charge of telling you everything he was keeping quiet about.

"I like them a lot" you spoke again. If he wasn't ready to tell you, you weren't going to push him "I put them in a vase every day and when they're withered I put them in a box" you confessed. Fearing rejection, you lowered your hand to his, took it for a moment to place it higher, and then placed your own flowers in his hand. He held them tremblingly "Calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone"

"Tell them what?"

"I'm the boss’s favorite" you joked and a knot formed in Kaz's stomach when he saw that your eyes dropped for a second to his lips and you licked yours, perhaps unconsciously. You pulled away from him because you thought he might be uncomfortable with the closeness and instead, you left him wanting to have been in that position a little longer “Do you want us to sit here? I like to watch the birds”

He ignored you and a few minutes later you two were sitting next to each other, still saying nothing. Kaz was looking at you out of the corner of his eye and he thought he couldn't be prouder that your sad expression was gone.

And how was I to be? If you had just discovered that you had the sympathy of the man you admired most in all of Kerch.

"You were right," he spoke suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts about what it would feel like to be a bird and be able to fly.

"About what?"

"You're my favorite. As a person. You are my favorite person” he managed to say. His look from him was sweet and sincere "And I like to see you smile"

"You already told me," you said, trying to suppress a smile and feeling how the blood rose to your cheeks. It took you a moment to dare to say what you were thinking. “I appreciate you, Kaz. I mean it very seriously."

You two stayed there for what seemed like hours and just enjoyed each other's quiet company, the sound of the wind, and the sight of the place. You looked at the horizon and he watched you covertly, thinking about everything he would be able to do to keep you out of the dangers of the world and what he had not realized until the night before when your integrity was threatened. 

One of your knees collided with his and Kaz, instead of pulling away from him, moved his knee slightly to rub against yours.

That day a silent pact had been sealed between you. He loved you and so did you.

No more words were necessary. Just lots of flowers.

[bubbles-lounge]

!Their Younger Sibling!

Summary: You had successfully escaped you're older brothers and you one and only friend Azul(Or how reader calls him Zuzu). You had were texting Yuu about meeting him with his friends, the ones you met before heading for you're brothers, and Azul. What will their reactions be?

A/N: Part 1 There's mention of a bag, you pick how the bag looks and what type of bag it is. Debating on making a series of the octavillene trio having reader keep running off and befriending the main cast. Remember to look after yourself and get rest!! Enjoy.

You put you're phone in you're bag as you looked around you making sure you're brothers nor Azul were near. You weren't worried about the other students too much since you have similar speed and strength to you're brothers, although abit weaker than them. Once you were sure they weren't near you stood up and ran for the botanical gardens, keeping an eye out for any of the first years you saw with Yuu or Yuu himself.

You eventually reached the botanical gardens, looking around for Yuu and the rest of his friends. Spotting them not to far you walk up to them.

"Hey, Yuu!"

Yuu turned around to see you smiling at him as he waved at you.

"(Name), You got here fast!"

You chuckled abit as the other first years saw and recognised you from earlier that day. You remembered each of their names roughly, the one you think was juice?? No, Deuce!

"Hey There, Your (Name), the leech twins younger sibling, right? We met you earlier on today!" Deuce smiled at you and extended a hand for a handshake.

"Yes, that would be me! You're Deuce if I'm correct." You shook his hand as he nods confirming you was right. It was bit awkward for you, not because of the people but because of the socializing. The only friend you'd ever had was Zuzu, so it felt awkward but they all seemed pretty laidback.

They all introduced themselves, Sebek seems to be loud constantly, though you were used to Floyds random yelling so it wasn't too bad. They are a lively bunch, it was quite enjoyable, your awkwardness and anxiety went quickly as you hangout with them.

"Hey (Name)."

You look over at Jack as he approaches you, you've noticed he is quite sensible probably the most sensible here.

"Yea? What's wrong?" You stare at him confused as he scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

"Don't take this badly towards you're brothers but, you're not really like them, you know? I mean it in the sense you not as terrifying as you're brothers make themselves nor do you try and make you're self unsettling like them."

Jack was now looking at me in an almost confused manner as you laugh abit at the statement Jack made. You weren't offended to be honest, you just found it funny how right he was. Epel had joined the conversation and agreed with Jack, you replied to them.

"Well, I try not to appear unsettling or anything of the sort. I'm here for abit and my brothers are protective of me. I've never actually had a friend that wasn't Azul. Its only been us four basically my entire life..."

You look at Jack and Epel sheepishly, it felt weird to tell others about you're brothers way of looking after you. It almost felt wrong to be talking to these guys, but you pushed those feelings away and looked at them. The others had at some point had joined the conversation as they looked at you with pity.

"You've never had anybody out of those three??! That must be tough...We're your friends now! Therefore you now have people out of those three!" Deuce wrapped an arm around you're shoulders as the others seemed to agree.

"Yeah, you don't seem so bad, what harm could it do?" Yuu smiled at you confidently.

You smiled at them all, this was nice. Having a group of friends like this was nice...Your phone buzzed ruining the moment of happiness you felt, you only had 5 contacts outside of the people currently around you, 2 of those contacts were your parents but they had already told you they wouldn't text you until you did a week at NRC, the other 3 were you're brothers and Zuzu. You got caught, shit.

The others look at your panicked face as you run over to your bag, they question what's wrong.

"My brothers and Azul know I left the monstro lounge. They said I wasn't to leave due to the people at this school not being trustworthy enough for me to even talk to."

The others looked at you with concern, until Ace spoke up.

"They do that?! They stop you from interacting with people like at all?!"

I nod my head as I search my bag for my phone, you grab it quickly and look at their texts.

After you had read their texts and you felt sick to you're stomach you shoved you're phone into you're bag and threw the bag onto you're shoulder as Sebek yelled.

"THATS UTERLLY WRONG. YOU'RE STRENGTH OUT DOES THE NORMAL HUMANS STREGTH. THERES NO REASON FOR THEM TO DO THAT!!"

You don't stay around much longer as you bolt for monstro lounge. You slam open the door but make sure not to scare any customers, you dint need those three anymore angry than they already are.

You think back to what Sebek said about being inhumanly strong like you brothers, it does make sense why they d-, you're thoughts were stopped by the tap on you shoulder looking at the person to see you brothers. Floyd grabs you and drags you into the V.I.P room and puts you on the couch as he starts going on about how you weren't meant to leave this place and you could have gotten hurt. Jade interrupted Floyd and looked at you.

"Elver. Did you speak to anyone?"

Jades voice was stern, you knew damn well that you couldn't avoid answer him. Not with Floyd and Azul right by.

"Yes..."

You watched there faces morph into disbelief. Now Azul and Floyd were yelling about how you're meant to stay by their side and not run off to talk with others. That's all they could yell about, not only did you leave monstro lounge like a normal human but you talked with others. Jade just let them go off at you, you don't think you've see him so angry. You knew this was the punishment, you knew they would tighten security on you.

You decide that, they aren't gonna stop you. You were 16 for fucks sake! a year younger than them. You not gonna sit idle by their side and alone, not when you now have friends. Of course you weren't gonna tell them that you just looked at the floor and listened to their yelling.

This will be an interesting time at NRC...

[conanssummerchild]

ive dipped my toes into a little bit of unserious fic writing for rnm and i felt it was about time i dropped an autistic rick fic 🫡

ive had this idea circling around in my head for a while but i wasn't really sure what direction the fic would go in but ive decided to go for some good old internalised ableism (me writing angst? shocking /sarc) bcs rick never seems to see his autism as a disadvantage which is super slay BUT there is also a lot of difficult things to deal with being autistic and you know that old fucker hates admitting he needs help with anything so im gonna fucking force him to >:) this is set in like maybe season 2 or early season 3 btw just to make rick even less inclined to admit he needs any help !!

ok enough yapping, here we gooo

~~~

It was awfully quiet in the house for a Saturday afternoon. Usually by now Rick would've come barging into the living room, demanding Morty come with him and tugging him through a portal without waiting for an affirmative answer, always at least a little drunk on whatever he could get his hands on.

Today there was none of that, only fragrant smells of whatever dinner Jerry was cooking coming from the kitchen, juxtaposed with the harsh screaming match going on between him and Beth. Summer was scrolling on her phone absently next to Morty on the sofa as he pretended to watch some film that Jerry insisted was a masterpiece on non-interdimensional TV.

Overall, it was a normal night at the Smith's house from before Rick had come into their lives, but Morty wasn't relaxed like he would've been before, or even upset over having to listen to his parents' petty argument. No, he was ansty, fidgeting around enough to earn several annoyed glances from Summer.

He combed back through his memories, doubting whether he'd seen Rick today at all. He hadn't been at lunch or breakfast, in fact Morty hadn't seen him at all since their brief adventure yesterday, during which Rick had been in an increasingly foul mood. Had no one else even noticed his disappearance?

"I'm gonna check on Rick." He blurted out, stumbling off the sofa.

Summer didn't even spare him a glance.

He tried not to run down the hallway, nervous jitters going through his whole body. What if he had left again? No, probably not, Morty had seen his ship in the driveway. Shit– Rick had thousands of enemies, what if he was lying dead in his room right now?

Morty knocked on Rick's door so hard his knuckles stung a little, ignoring the small buzzing sound that accompanied the knocks. He heard a groan akin to one of a dying man and some shuffling from inside the room.

"Rick?" Morty called out to no answer, anxiety only rising.

He shifted nervously from foot to foot. If he just barged into Rick's room and he was fine Rick would be super pissed, but if he didn't and Rick was dying Morty would never forgive himself.

He shoved the door open. It didn't have a lock anymore. Morty held his breath as his eyes darted around the room, he feared it would look like a crime scene, but it looked... normal. He hadn't been in Rick's room that many times but, despite the darkness and slight mess, nothing seemed particularly out of place.

Well, that was, of course, apart from the translucent green force field type thing in front of the door.

He frowned, calling Rick's name again, but he was lying in his cot, facing the wall, unresponsive. Not even seeming like he'd heard Morty, the rise and fall of his tense shoulders the only thing showing he was still alive.

Morty chanced a careful touch to the force field, preparing for some kind of electric shock, but none came, only a quiet hum was emmited as Morty's fingers passed through. Rick moved again slightly, but other than that showed no visible reaction.

The field gave way easily and Morty passed though completely, standing meekly at the doorway of Rick's room. He was surprised to find that it was silent, like completely. No sound passed through the green barrier, not the sounds of sizzling pans, or the movie playing faintly in the background. Nothing.

"Rick? A-are you okay?" It wasn't said particularly loudly, but it felt that way in the complete silence.

No answer. He took a step closer, repeating himself louder, in case Rick just hadn't heard. "Rick? W-what's– is everything good?"

He expected anything, from Rick yelling at him to the person in the bed just being an alien wearing Rick's face, not even Rick himself.

He didn't expect Rick to cover his ears and curl into himself further.

"Uh-" Morty hesitated. His head hurt? Was he, like, hungover? Dying?

He only paused for a second more before turning and running out of the room, if something really was greviously wrong with Rick he would much rather be safe than sorry.

"Mom!" He called, running into the kitchen, interrupting the argument going on abruptly.

Beth downed a large sip of her wine glass, emptying it and setting it down on the counter with a sharp clink.

"Morty, honey, the adults are talking right now." She said, rubbing her temples tiredly.

"Mom, something's w-w-wrong with Rick."

"What?" That got Beth's attention, straightening from where she was topping off her wine once more. "What's wrong with Rick?"

"I don't know." Morty replied, agitated. "He's in his room just– just lying there, he's not answering me."

Beth was already heading in the direction of his room—not without grabbing her wine. "Come on, sweetie." She said to Morty.

"Wha- Beth, come on! We were having a conversation here!" Jerry exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I have more important things to deal with right now, Jerry." She said coldly.

Jerry's complaints were drowned out by Morty's rushing thoughts as he led Beth down the hall.

She peeked into the dark room without passing the noise-cancelling field, expression changing when she saw Rick curled into a ball, hands still clamped over his ears. While her frown stayed, a sort of realisation flashed in her eyes.

"Um, I think your grandpa just needs a little bit of alone time right now, okay? Let's give him some space." She said, taking a step back and closing the door gently.

"What? Why?"

"He just... Well, honestly, I don't know. I just vaguely remember he would get like this sometimes when I was a kid, when he was stressed. Mom always told me to just leave him alone for a while. I thought he'd probably grown out of it, like it was a midlife crisis thing or whatever. Guess not." She gave a small shrug.

That didn't really answer any of Morty's questions and raised several more, but Beth didn't seem to have the answers.

"Okay."

"Okay." Beth echoed, taking a swig of wine, her demeanour changing back to a bored one. "Well, I gotta go deal with Jerry now, go play video games, or something."

For the rest of that day, and then one more after that, Morty waited anxiously for Rick to emerge from his room. He felt like he was losing his mind, all while everyone else didn't even seem to care that Rick was gone at all.

He was picking at his pancakes uninterestedly when he finally caught a glimpse of blue hair in the hallway.

"Rick!" He exclaimed, making the old man nearly jump out of his skin.

"Jesus fucking christ, M-Morty." He muttered, grabbing some orange juice from the fridge and downing it straight from the carton.

"What happened?" Morty asked, getting up from the table and hovering by Rick. No one told him off for leaving the table. He could tell that they were all listening in on the conversation.

"What happened when?" Rick asked dismissively, playing dumb. He rummaged around in the overhead cupboard until he found an opened box of wafers. "What– who the fuck opened my wafers?"

Morty rolled his eyes. "You did, last week."

"Oh yeah." Rick shoved a wafer in his mouth.

"Rick, come on, seriously, I was worried."

"Well then maybe you should mind your own business, Morty."

Morty huffed. "What so you'd prefer I didn't care about you at all?"

"Yes. Obviously. Why does that surprise you? I've clearly stated it on multiple occasions."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I do care about you, Rick. I just want to make sure you're okay, because it seemed like you weren't" Morty said earnestly.

"Ugh, I'm fine, Morty." He scowled. "Don't be so– so weird about it."

"I'm weird?! Y-you're the weird one, Rick! Wh-what the hell is wrong with you? You just dissapear for– for two days and won't even tell me why? Can you give half a shit about anyone but yourself?"

"Jesus, I was overstimulated! O-okay? I'm autistic! Is that what you want to hear? You– you fucking dick."

Morty shook his head lightly, processing the stream of information "...What?"

"What? You can't be autistic." Jerry chimed in from the dining room.

"Okay, Jerry, and you won't be alive when I stuff your tiny dick in your mouth and freeze you, so we can put you on the mantle like some kind of fucked up decoration with your balls hanging out. Wait, actually, you will be alive. You'll feel the whole thing. Suuuper painful."

Rick snatched up Morty's virtually untouched stack of pancakes and sauntered out.

A quiet washed over the table, Morty looking over at Beth and seeing that she seemed just as surprised as him.

"What, you guys seriously didn't know?" Summer's bored voice broke through the silence.

"Y- you did?" Morty asked incredulously.

"Uh, duhh, Morty. It's like super obvious?" Summer drawled, not even looking up from whoever she was texting on her phone.

"How is it obvious?!"

"Becuase, Morty, I'm not uneducated like all of you guys."

"What? Wh-whatever, I'm just– I'm gonna go talk to him."

Summer didn't grace him with a response.

Morty peered into Rick's room but he wasn't there, so he wandered towards the garage. As he approached, he could already hear the sounds of Rick tinkering with something or other.

"H-hey, Rick." He said carefully, but Rick didn't seem particularly upset, offering Morty a small grunt in greeting.

"S-sorry I said there was something wrong with you." Morty added.

Rick looked up this time, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Okay?"

He went back to his project for a bit, but when Morty still didn't leave after several minutes he sighed, setting his wrench down harshly next to Morty's now half-eaten pancakes. "Yes, Morty?" He asked, irritated.

"I-I just... You could've told me, you know? That you're autistic. I'm not– you don't have to be, like... ashamed."

"Screw you, I'm not ashamed." Rick snapped. "L-look at me Morty, do you know how smart I am? You think any fucking neurotypical could ever reach my level of genius? Fuck no!"

He crossed his arms like a petulant child, pouting at the floor.

"Oh– Sorry." Morty stuttered. "I just thought..."

"What? That just because I'm autistic I have to be ashamed? Pretty ableist stuff there, Morty." Rick said sharply.

"No! Jeez, That's not– not what I meant, Rick. Jeez... I was gonna ask why you never t-talk about it, then?"

"Becuase it's none of y-your damn business, that's why."

"But– I mean, sure, but not even my mom knew. Did... did your wife? Did she know?"

Rick's shoulders tensed and he looked away, his loose grip on the table becoming harsher.

"R-rick?"

"She... knew." He said tightly.

"Did anyone else?" Morty made his tone a little gentler, seeing Rick wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about it.

"...Birdperson. And Squanchy."

"That's– no one else?"

Rick frowned. "My parents knew. But they didn't like it... Diane– my wife she was the first person I chose to tell myself."

"I'm sorry." Morty said quietly. "About your parents and... Diane."

Rick sat silently, staring at the work bench in front of him without saying a word.

"Is that... why you guys divorced, or?"

"No, Morty, jesus." Rick huffed. "She was actually the only one that didn't treat me like less than because of it. I mean, until BP and Squanch."

"So why–?"

"I don't want to talk about my failed marriage, M-morty." Rick sighed.

"...Sorry."

Rick shrugged.

Silence stretched on as Rick went back to his project again, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either.

"It's embarrasing. Sometimes." Rick said haltingly. "When I get overstimulated. Becuase I know that doesn't happen to normal people and I don't like admitting I need help with things that other people don't. It's a sign of weakness."

"That's not–!"

"Shut the fuck up, Morty. This isn't a discussion, you got what you wanted out of me, so now you can fuck off."

"But, Rick you–"

"Morty, just fuck the fuck off."

Morty hesitated for a second, before lunging towards Rick and trapping him in a tight hug. Rick tensed up.

"Morty, you little shit, get off me!" Rick wriggled, trying to get out of Morty's embrace.

"I love you, grandpa. Thank you for opening up to me, I know it's hard for you." Morty whispered, which only made Rick thrash around harder. "I don't think you're weak, by the way. Or that there's anything wrong with you."

Morty finally pulled away from the hug and Rick crossed his arms again, his face now a little flushed in embarrasment.

"Don't do that again, you asshole." He grumbled. "I don't like it when you hug me."

"Sorry." Morty said, mostly meaning it. "Hugs always make me feel a lot better."

"Well I'm not you, Morty, and they m-m-make me uncomfortable."

"Sorry." He repeated. "But I-I still mean everything I said."

Rick pouted, turning away. Morty knew Rick was stubborn, and that he wasn't going to erase years of self-hatred and internalised ableism in a few minutes, but he hoped that one day Rick let him in enough to at least try.

"Okay, bye grandpa. Love you."

"Bye, asshole." Rick muttered back.

Love you too he thought, but didn't say.

+ extra

Rick had been in a shitty mood all day, and Morty could tell something was brewing under the surface, but he couldn't tell what until they were already on their way back home from grabbing some crystals from some drug planet Rick stole from all the time.

Usually Rick would be in high spirits after another succesful crystal-stealing mission, but today he just glared through the windshield, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Morty could tell that, despite his intense stare, he wasn't really paying too much attention, so it wasn't a huge shock when an large asteroid chunk flew into their field of vision and Rick didn't even try to swerve.

They crashed into the asteroid hard and an alarm started blaring, red rays flashing in the interior of the spaceship. Rick's hands flew over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

Morty had seen this alarm go off several times, due to Rick's often reckless driving, and it usually didn't bother Rick very much at all, not warranting more than a curse and flipping the alarm off annoyedly.

Rick bit down on his knee hard as Morty hurried to shut down the alarm, Rick's hands moving into his hair and tugging when it was finally switched off.

Rick had a tendancy to hurt himself when he was overstimulated and it made Morty endlessly anxious. He searched desperately in the backseat for the noise cancelling headphones he'd given Rick and "forced him to wear" as Rick would say, but Morty could tell he appreciated it. Especially when he snatched them out of Morty's hands before he'd barely even handed them to him, shoving them onto his head agressively and clicking the button he'd added himself for improved noise cancellation, claiming the headphones were trash and that he'd had to modify them to make them at all a useful tool.

He slumped back in his chair with a sigh, his eyes were still shut but Morty could see the tears that had collected on his eyelashes.

"Do you want me to drive us back?" Morty asked, barely finishing the sentance before Rick was hitting the button that switched their chairs around so Morty would be in front of the wheel. Morty let out a small exclamation of surprise, but quickly took the wheel, putting the ship back on track.

Rick didn't say anything else for the short journey home, jumping out of the ship before it was even parked properly. Morty hurried to keep up with him as he unlocked the door. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the entryway and Morty almost crashed into him, managing to stop himself just in time.

"Thank you." Rick said gruffly, not giving Morty time to respond and just rushing off to his room.

Morty still smiled, though. He knew that was about as close as it got to his grandpa expressing affection.

"Love you too, Rick."

---

THE END IM CHEESEY OK I KNOW SORRY BYE

[gaybananabread]

(Don’t mind the fact I go all out in this, I’m just excited) Hihi! Just noticed TADC in your fandom list soooo can I get grapes, pears, and maybe some mangoes too whilst yer at it with Ler!Kinger and Lee!Pomni? I would like the stomach and the chin to be heavily focused on spots but every other spot is great too! I think Pomni and Kinger have potential to have an adorable dynamic as I hc that Kinger is the circus father figure! Speaking of hcs, I personally think that Pomni would be an adorably ticklish squeaky toy and probably a fighter. Kinger on the other hand, I hc that he is not very ticklish at all! Sure you could get a giggle or two outta him if you try hard enough but that’s it. Sooo yeah! Gotta love ordering stuff! Have a great day and remember, you don’t have to write any of this if you don’t wanna!! Byeee!!!

Fruit(s): Grapes, Pears, Mangoes

GAH! Thank you Anon! Definitely gave me some good bones to work with! Kinger would be the one dad that has the mental stability of a pancake lol. Loved writing for these goobers, your hcs were really fun to work with! Love that you went all out, gives me some awesome ideas! As always, I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Pomni

Ler: Kinger

Summary: Pomni is having an anxiety attack due to circus craziness. Kinger invites her into his pillow fort to calm down, showing her she can still have a laugh in their insane circumstances.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

She couldn’t take it anymore. The constant craziness, being in her new body, unable to really feel anything besides the constant stress of not knowing who the *squawk* she is. Oh yeah. The filter too.

The clown was curled up on the floor of the tent, on the verge of abstraction. The other members of the circus had gone to their rooms to cool down from that day’s “adventure.” 

Caine’s weird NPCs had wreaked havoc on the psyches of the characters, especially Pomni. She had failed the game, gotten hurt and accidentally broke Gangle’s comedy mask. Her mind was a swirling storm of regrets and uncertainty. 

She was so close to being done…

-

Kinger looked around, trying to find the newest member. She’d seemed…not okay, after the activity. He wasn’t one to talk, but that had been a bad day for everyone, and he felt stable enough to help out. What he saw made his heart sink; Pomni, curled up behind some giant building blocks, small black and glitchy particles hovering around her.

He quickly shuffled over to her, wrapping two floating hands around her shoulders and squeezing her close to him. “P-Pomni! It’s okay, you’re okay! Try to take some deep breaths…”

The girl tried to breathe, the warm embrace bringing her back to…wherever they were. She was far from better, but the particles had faded. Her pupils were still detached scribbles, though.

“Here, let me just..” Kinger carefully lifted her up, carrying her towards his fort, “get you somewhere calmer.” He pushed the pillow aside, ducking and setting her down on one of the cushions.

Pomni took a few shaky breaths, her eyes flicking back and forth between the twisting scribbles and her pinwheels. She had almost…oh *honk*. 

The royal piece rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm the girl down. “It’s okay, Pomni. Just breathe. You’re doing great.” His voice was softer than normal, more paternal. It helped.

“S-sorry…I k-kinda freaked…” She sounded so guilty…that wasn’t gonna slide. “Pomni, you’re fine. Everyone has bad days. I know I do.”

Pomni forced a smile, but it was clear she was still upset. Kinger tried to cheer her up, poking her side to get her attention. He didn’t expect the shocked, strangled squeak he got in response. The knee-jerk reaction was to check for injuries, but things clicked when he saw the blush on her cheeks. “Oh. You’re ticklish.”

She had enough awareness to try and run. Kinger quickly scooped her up, trapping her in a reverse hug with her small back against his chest. “Of all the bugs in my collection, I have to say there’s a favorite. Can you guess?” One hand held her shoulders, while the other traced her belly. “It’s the Tickle Bug!”

Pomni smacked at his hands, thrashing and flailing in his hold. She was a squeaky, giggly mess in seconds. It was light tickling, but she was stupidly ticklish. “K-Kihihinger! GYEEhehehe! Nohoho!”

He chuckled at the adorable sounds, looking at her eyes. The scribbles are gone, her multi-colored eyes back and wide with surprise. “Hmm, no, these work pretty well. You need a little help calming down, and laughter is the best medicine.”

Trying something, he moved his free hand to gently scribble under her chin. Pomni’s thrashing calmed way down, her giggles getting even squeakier. It was clear her chin was a melt spot, her eyes closing. Kinger cooed and kept up the tracing. “Aww, Pomni, do you like this spot?”

She whined through the giggles, but didn’t deny it. Even with her pride on the line, she wouldn’t tell that obvious of a lie. “Kihihihinger! Ihihihit tihickles!” 

“It’s supposed to, silly. Tickle Bug, remember?” He added more stomach tickles to the mix, gently scribbling where her belly button would be. She squealed, belly laughter slipping into the giggle fit. “KihihHIHIngeher! NYAHAHAhoho!” The thrashing was back, though it was more frantic than anything. She was caught between wanting to melt into the chin tickles and writhe from the belly scratches.

While it was adorable to see her like that, he was only tickling her to cheer her up. The silly chaos she was in, while cute, wasn’t the goal. He stopped, one finger still tracing under her chin as he hugged her. “Feeling any better?”

Pomni continued to giggle softly, but nodded. Without him, who knows what would have happened. “Uh-uhuhum, yeah. Thahanks, Kihinger…”

“No problem, friend. If you ever feel like that again, just come in the fort. I’ve got your back.” He released her from the hug, his eyes squinted in a smile. While he wasn’t any more sane than the rest of them, he tried his best to help out. It was nice.

Pomni hugged him one last time before ducking out of the pillow fort, a smile still on her face. The creeping dread wasn’t completely gone, but it had subsided. She felt like she could genuinely smile for a bit. That…that was enough, for her anyway. She could get through it with her new friends by her side. Just another day in the circus…

[boxheadpaint]

juice induced hill depression. Back on meds again and hopefully going to get in touch with a new psych who can prescribe me something else. Have been very tired and unjoyful the past week but better now and playing modded Skyrim, initially just to make my oc in it but then just kept slamming more thangs in there. Mod that puts bunny rabbits everywhere. Also is there a mod that adds cute animal ears/suits as wearables or one that even makes the girl armor less sucks. Like im either fully leaning into the immersion breaking for self indulgence sake or im getting rid of the annoying shit.

visiting mom in Vegas earlier this month was nice except for the part where I hate Vegas. I know im not great with travel and settling into places can be a tough one for my brain but also my god it’s just evil there. Brilliantly so but still evil. I would have loved to enjoy the scenery surrounding the place more as deserts are just very beautiful and fascinating places but at no point during the day was the temperature less than a full hundred degrees Fahrenheit. It barely dropped during the night either. Between that and varying physical ailments (Oof Ouch My Digestive Sensitivities Lol) (Oof Ouch My Tendons Lol) (Oof Ouch The Agony Caused By Using Stairs Lol) it was the perfect conditions to be a miserable pile when I wanted to be with my family. As sad I was to part ways again I was not sorry to leave that place. Gained a new appreciation for changing up what I eat randomly to keep my body on its toes. At one point mom brought us to a pub and her husband asked for Diet Pepsi while I asked for regular Pepsi. Visually there’s no difference so we got handed the others pepsi and swapped. And then later after he refilled his Diet Pepsi another waiter came up and wordlessly refilled mine as well. With Diet Pepsi. Wasn’t even asked. Fucking stunned. Also went to a near dead mall that was nice anyway

stuck on brain zaps as a symptom of Specifically antidepressants withdrawal. There’s some things describing them as “mini seizures” in function. To me it’s like the body noticing the usual isn’t happening for some reason so it tries to jumpstart the brain into working good like before. universities I can go to with my theories. Back in and at it this week, hopefully to remain consistent for longer than before which will also likely help with the depression and anxiety. More people should just put stuff in their blood if they can

it can be embarrassing to express your misery more clearly to someone, specifying the fact fact thoughts running through your head. But then again it’s only embarrassing because your mind convinced you so, and will convince you that holding it in is also cruel and selfish. Finding it funny that animals probably don’t have as complex spirals and bouts of depression because they dont have a language to articulate to themselves in their own heads that something is awful in a very specific and contradicting way. Or actually no because there is still pattern recognition but that’s more a paranoia learned thing. Is there an animal that can randomly, for seemingly no reason evident to anyone including itself, experience crushing dread and self doubt. Is there an animal that feels shame besides man

had a tilt table test that was embarrassing too but for much more clear concrete reasons. Somehow didn’t know about that second part, and did complain through most of the first part because Oof Ouch Everything Hurts Lol. REALLY did not know the iv thing and had to once again sadly state that no, It has to go in the hand . I will say the experience was funny in the second part from the other ways because my first reaction was literally just “Uh Oh.” The moment I realized it was going to get worse. all I know is my blood pressure stayed consistent throughout, I don’t know what else im gonna hear about it. Hopefully something helpful.

is setting up an ABLE account difficult? Can anybody do it? It’s an issue dealt with by a lot of people but I should at least try to find a way to save money from benefits for the future or in case some stupid medical shit happens that the health won’t cover. I just looked up and saw Vinny sleeping while propping lubics head up with his foot. Hoping I can enjoy things normally again shortly,

8/26/2024, Still better than july

[snailor-bee]

Marco x NB!Reader / SFW  / 2.1k Summary: Marco is finally going to confess to you! If only it would stop going wrong... Notes: Written for @op-xreader-zine! All the art is done by the amazing @issatheartist thank you for working with me on this! ;w;

This was it! Marco was finally going to do it. He was going to walk up to you and confess. 

He'd been crushing on you for a while now and it was time. He'd dealt with the teasing from his brothers and the nurses for far too long. Originally Marco had held himself back because he hadn't wanted to ruin what the two of you already had. 

Friends, nakama, family. 

Still, everyone had insisted that he go for it and had completely ignored his reasonings for maybe why he shouldn't—"Marco, you can't seriously use your rank as an excuse; the only person higher than you is Pops"—so that's how he found his hands sweating, wrapped around a bouquet of flowers. 

Maybe it was a bit simple but at this point, Marco figured it was better than nothing. His head felt like a jumbled mess and he hadn't really planned out how he was going to do this but he'd wing it as he went along, all Marco had to do was find you and—

So distracted by his thoughts, he bounced off someone's body made a little oof of pain. 

"Marco!" Izou's voice broke through his thoughts. "Watch where you're going. What are you doing?" 

"I, uh," he couldn't bring himself to say it. Izou was the ship's gossip and if Marco said he was looking for you in order to confess then you'd hear about it before Marco even got to you. Sweat beaded at his brow as Izou's sharp gaze took him in. Uncharacteristically, Marco knew he looked nervous. 

Which might as well have been blood in the water for a shark, when one was dealing with Izou. 

Then all at once, Izou's posture softened and he smiled. "Are those for me?? For my birthday!? Oh, you shouldn't have, these are my favorite too!" Still gushing, Izou grabbed the bouquet and Marco was too stunned to stop him. 

"A-ah, yes. I was worried you wouldn't like them, yoi," he said, going for a smile. It was a bit strained but Izou didn't seem to notice. Marco cursed himself internally. He'd been so focused on the almost-not-quite-confession, Izou's birthday had completely slipped his mind. 

"No, they're perfect ," Izou enthused happily and Marco sighed fondly, letting the anxiety of confronting you fade. He could always do it later. 

The next 'attempt' wasn't really an attempt. 

Marco had been walking down a street when his inner phoenix noticed a section of smooth rocks. Without too much thought, he reached out and snatched one up. He frequently did this; the drawers in his office were filled with random bits and bobs, shiny pieces of metal, rocks, and other random things that appealed to his phoenix half for whatever reason. Marco never mentioned it to anyone but a few of his brothers who had been around him for years had picked up on it, though they were kind enough not to point it out. 

So, without much thought, when he saw you chatting with some other shipmates, Marco ambled over and handed you the rock. "Here, for you." 

You raised a brow and looked into your palm before running your thumb over the stone's surface, feeling out the texture. 

Inside, his phoenix cooed and Marco was grateful he wasn't in his half-form. He could tell that his tails would be going wild right about now, watching your reaction.

"...Thanks," you said at last, sounding confused before you pocketed the rock and turned back to listen to the story that Ace had been in the process of telling. It didn't deter Marco at all, you had accepted it! 

Feeling thrilled somewhere deep in his bones, he barely felt the jab to his ribs. 

"Hey," Thatch whispered, "you know they aren't a bird, right?" 

Confused, Marco cocked his head. Thatch gestured at you with his chin. "They probably don't know why you just handed them a rock. Shouldn't you be doing more, uh, human courting stuff?" 

There was a few seconds of incomprehension before the meaning hit him and Marco felt like dissolving into dust and disappearing forever. He leaned over to bury his head into Thatch's shoulder to cover up the sound of his groan of pain as his brother laughed and patted his back. 

"Don't worry, you'll get them next time, birdie." 

Next time ended up being a love letter. 

Old fashioned? Maybe. But Marco was getting desperate. At least this would be crystal clear. 

He'd gone through numerous editions. The trash can in his room was overflowing with failed attempts, bunched up balls of paper scattered around his desk as he tried again and again until he finally felt he had it all down. 

Exactly what about you that made him smile, how the simple sight of you lifted his spirits and the sound of your laugh made his chest tight. He'd bared it all. 

Walking across the busy deck, the night breeze ruffling his hair, Marco was barely able to return the greetings he got as he passed by scattered groups. He'd locked eyes with you right away and once you noticed him coming, you'd said your goodbyes and were coming to meet him halfway. 

The closer and closer the two of you got, the more and more nervous Marco became. The butterflies in his stomach were making him feel like he might throw up. What if you didn't return his feelings? What if you thought the letter was lame? 

What if you went to read it right away? Oh fuck , he hadn't thought this through. He didn't want to watch your face as you read the confession, heartfelt though it may be. If you had to turn him down after he poured his heart onto the parchment, Marco really didn't know how he was going to take that. 

Saying it to your face, letting you turn him down gently without realizing the true depths of his feeling was way more appealing. 

His step faltered before a rush of heat flashed beside him. On instinct he tossed the letter into the roar of fire. Ace was likely showing off and didn't even notice the slight disturbance. 

"What was that?" you asked, finally having made your way to him. 

"Nothing," Marco said quickly. "Someone did their report so badly, so I had a bunch of corrections but thinking it over I realized I'll just have them redo it. Makes it easier, yoi." 

You laughed. "Harsh. I'd hate to be them, putting in all that work for nothing." 

Marco shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "Yeah but I'm sure they'll get over it." 

"Wow, Marco, you're not very good at this are you?" Ace asked with a snicker. Marco glared, fork paused midway to his mouth. Thatch elbowed him good-naturedly from his side. They were sitting in the galley, the shipmates talking around them creating a symphony of noise that easily hid the conversation from others. 

"Good at what, yoi?" Marco asked, placing the fork down. Thatch threw an arm around his shoulders and shook him lightly as Ace's eyes sharpened with glee. 

"Now Ace," Thatch said, mockingly sweet, "don't go teasing our resident birdbrain here. He's trying so hard, the poor thing." 

"Get off," Marco said, irritated as he pushed at Thatch until he let him go, laughing. 

"Think they've even noticed?" Ace asked thoughtfully before shoving something into his mouth and chewing loudly. 

Marco opened his mouth to answer but Thatch beat him to it. "Hopefully not, though Marco looking so pathetic has been quite amusing." Thatch batted away his hand before Marco could punch him in the ribs, the bastard. 

Grunting with annoyance, Marco looked away just in time to catch you several tables away leaning your head back with a laugh and he stared, heart suddenly in his throat. He couldn't help it, you were just so—

"Plus the whole ships been taking bets at this point," Thatch tacked on and Marco tore his gaze away from you. 

"What?!" Marco demanded as Ace hooted joyfully. Thatch shrugged, grinning all the while.

"Maybe you shouldn't look like a lovesick bird all the time and we wouldn't have to take bets on when you finally get your act together. Do not" —Thatch pointed a steak knife menacingly in Ace's direction after a garbled noise had started— "talk with your mouth full. Swallow." 

Dutifully, Ace swallowed his barely chewed food and took a second to catch his breath before barrelling on, "Whatcha got planned next, Marco? Anything good?" 

"Excuse me? All my ideas have been fine so far!" Two blank looks had his hackles raising but before he could argue more, your voice rang out. 

"Hey, Marco!" Immediately he whipped his head up and caught your eye. You waved before you arrived behind Ace, patting him on the shoulder. "I was wondering if we could spar later?" 

Quickly, he nodded back. "Yeah, that sounds great!" Embarrassingly, he heard his voice hit a slightly higher pitch, almost as if his voice had cracked. Ace and Thatch did a terrible job at stifling their giggles as Marco felt his face flush traitorously. 

"Great!" you enthused, apparently having not noticed. "See you after lunch?" 

Not trusting his voice, he nodded and you skipped away happily. Once you were far enough away, Ace and Thatch collapsed into loud laughter, Ace banging on the table as Thatch wheezed out between his laughs, "What are you Marco, twelve ?? What was that?!" 

"I hate both of you," Marco grit out between clenched teeth before shoving his half finished tray of food at Ace. "Finish this, I'm leaving, yoi." 

"Good luck on your dateeee," Ace managed to yell out before he got too far away. Marco flipped him off over his shoulder. 

"So, Marco." You looked uncharacteristically anxious as you fidgeted and looked at everything except him. Marco felt his stomach drop to the deck. What was wrong? You hadn't... noticed had you? Fuck, this was not how he wanted you to find out. 

He'd come to find you for your spar after Ace and Thatch had literally laughed him out of the galley. You'd seemed eager enough to see him before dragging him to a quiet part of the deck, mentioning you had something to say first. 

Seemingly steeling your nerves, you looked into his eyes and they burned with determination. 

"I've liked you for a really long time now. You're literally one of my best friends and more than that you make me feel like I can fly, like nothing could ever hurt me. I didn't really want to mention this and have it ruin our friendship but I can't keep it to myself anymore. Please go on a date with me!" 

Time seemed like it stood still as he gaped at you. He could see your cheeks flush, likely with embarrassment at your proclamation but he was still reeling. 

Finally, you swallowed. "And if you don't feel the same—" 

"No!" he cut in, finally finding his voice. Marco grabbed up your hands, cradling them close. "No, don't. Just, I—" He chuckled with wry amusement before pressing a chaste kiss to your knuckles. "I'm just a little shocked. I've been trying to ask you out for ages now." 

"Wait, really?" you asked, mouth dropping open. He nodded with a smile. There was a strange buzzing in his body, from his toes up to the tips of his ears. Everything felt a little fuzzy, a little warm. He wanted to run around the deck like a teenager again, grab you close and never let go, scream over the railing until he ran out of breath. So many different emotions were raging through him, he was beginning to feel dizzy from the weight of all of them. 

Deciding to just pick one, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close into his chest, breathing in your scent as he began to chuckle lowly. You joined in and soon the two of you were full-out laughing. When you separated, he brushed a hand against your cheek reverently, giddy that he was able to do so. 

"To be honest," Marco began, "I don't think I can spar right now, I feel like my knees are made of jell-o." 

You laughed again. "That's okay, I'm feeling the same. Wanna go tell Pops instead?" 

Marco ran a hand through his hair, before smiling at you. "Sure. We're about to get the teasing of a lifetime." 

You held out a hand and he took it, fingers twining together with yours like they were meant to be. 

"We may as well get started," you said back, fondness shining in your eyes and maybe, just maybe, a hint of something more.

[the-milk-monarch]

Hi I was wondering if you could write Alejandro, Tyler, and Brick x masc reader who flinches at sudden movements and noises.

☣︎ Hey hey, welcome first non-anon user!! Ty for your ask! Also sorry for possible OOC and if that's not what you meant with the prompt, I had some troubles lol

also sorry for it not being as long as I'd like to 😔

【 MASC S/O WHO'S ALERT TO RAPID MOVEMENTS/NOISES 】

Summary: (Based on the "Hook, Line, and Screamer" episode) After watching a scary movie you try not to get captured by a killer and one of the boys startles you.

☢︎ | masculine reader ☢︎ | Total Drama ☢︎ | Alejandro | Tyler | Brick

【 Intro 】

⚠︎ | setting: Total Drama: Island (AU)

You were a bit suspicious when Chris told you to watch a horror movie.

You knew it would be a hard to get through challenge, and you were not looking up to the potential anxiety factors that were to arrive.

Once the movie was over and Chris mysteriously disappeared, leaving faint clues about a psycho killer, all of the contestants were either worried or skeptical.

Whatever your opinion on the topic was, you had to use the bathroom after the movie.

The toilet was not too far off, so you decided that it wouldn't bother other contestants and you went off to do your business.

After some time however Gwen noticed you weren't there and asked if anyone knew saw you walking away.

Duncan shrugged and responded you probably "went to take a piss, or something."

Gwen sighed as she just explained the number one horror rule - to not go alone.

He commented that someone should go get you

Suddenly one of the boys chimed in.

【 Alejandro 】

"I'll check up on him." He gentlemanly said, not afraid of the so called "psycho killer".

Just like Heather, he predicted it's just one of Chris's stunts, so he wasn't afraid of anyone catching him while he went to get you.

There was some walking through the forest before he noticed you from afar.

He was too sophisticated to yell, so he didn't say anything until he approached you closer.

You were heading back to the group meeting place as you heard some twig-cracking sound.

You flinched, quickly looking towards the source of the noise.

Your sight didn't meet a killer though, instead it was Alejandro.

He raised his hand in a calming manner, as if to show he's not a threat.

"Relax, it's just me." He said softly, smiling calmly as he approached you.

"Oh- Alejandro." You sighed relieved.

"No psycho killer. Just killer looks." He joked lightheartedly, although a bit of his narcissism shined through.

You rolled your eyes slightly with a faint amused smile.

You knew Alejandro wasn't exactly modest.

"Whatcha doing here?" You asked, now realizing he came here for a reason.

"Oh, was just worried about your whereabouts..." He responded in a slightly flirty manner, waiting for a reaction out of you.

"How caring..." You remarked, looking at him, making him wonder how much of your words were sarcasm or not.

He chuckled. "Of course I care about my fellow teammate."

"We shall go back now, though." He pointed out, knowing that others were waiting for them.

He didn't buy the whole killer situation, but he tried to keep up an appearance, not wanting to be seen as so grumpy as Heather.

You two started walking, until you heard and saw a rabbit running by, startling you.

Alejandro didn't really have a reaction to it, but he noticed you flinching.

"I reassure you if the killer comes here, I will personally protect you." His words came out sweeter than honey, although his sincerity was debatable.

"I just don't like sudden things moving." You elaborated, not wanting Alejandro to get a wrong idea about you.

"Of course." Alejandro nodded, acknowledging your words. "Who likes unpredicted situations happening?"

You finally go back to meet with the rest of the group, noticing some of them have gone missing, but you don't comment on that.

You take a seat on your previously owned tree stump, Alejandro joining you nearby.

Extra: If you're already dating

At first Alejandro will check up on you whenever he sees your reaction to a loud noise (or sudden movement) to ask if you're okay, but if you tell him it's not a big deal he will respect your words.

If others make fun of you for being a "scaredy cat" he won't be afraid to protect your honor, starting a quarrel with whoever disrespects you.

【 Tyler 】

"I'll go!" Tyler said, getting up from his sitting position.

He seemed to be brave and confident as he left his safe spot near the group, but in reality, the movie gave him some scares.

These thoughts about a killer chasing him in the middle of the forest haunted his mind, just like in the film!

He calmed himself down though, as he had go go get you.

He couldn't let you get murdered, could he?

Soon enough, he arrived near the communal bathrooms, expecting you to be close.

Tyler didn't wanna disturb you, so he waited a bit, expecting you to come out soon.

What he didn't know, was that you were already on your way back, noticing him from afar.

You decided to approach him, seeing as he's waiting by the door, probably for you.

You stepped on a twig while your focus while on Tyler, scaring yourself a little by not being aware of your surroundings, but the scream you heard from Tyler was more surprising than the wooden stick.

"AAH!" He yelped in an octave you weren't aware he could do. "Not the killer!!"

You noticed the fear in his eyes as he quickly turned over to see you, smiling at him.

"...Sorry dude, it's just me-" You explained, approaching closer.

"Oh- Y/N!" He finally recognized you after a moment.

"You weren't killed by the killer??" He asked the obvious.

You smiled, appreciating Tyler's silliness.

It made you chuckle. "No. Were you?" You reciprocated the silly question.

He looked around himself, as if he wasn't sure himself at first, but he finally struck a proud pose as he responded. "Nope."

You smiled. "Well- Let's go back then, shall we?"

Tyler nodded, waiting for you to take the lead.

【 Brick 】

Ever since you were nice to Brick that one time, he seemed to take a liking in you.

Of course he never outwardly flirted with you, due to his respect towards you, and some bashfulness on his side.

He wasn't afraid of the horror Chris had left for the campers, nor the psycho killer, but he was afraid of the dark.

Perhaps it was the unnerving lack of knowledge about what could be hiding in there was getting to him.

He couldn't even sleep without his nightlight on.

Nonetheless, he couldn't leave his teammate to fend for themselves when there could be a potential killer on the loose!

"Never leave a cadet behind!" He chanted as he got up from the trunk he was sitting on, with his hand doing a brief salute, as he took this rule very seriously.

His movements were firm and confident as he made his way near the communal bathrooms, but they quickly turned meek as he realized how dark it was.

He tried to keep calm, not only for himself, but for you.

He was going out there with a purpose!

He stayed near the faint, available source of light there was and finally arrived, seeing you leave thru the doors.

Excitement got to him as he realized he had successfully completed his mission, stepping forward to join you in going back together.

As he took a step though, his black boots kicked a big pebble, making a rather loud noise that made you look towards the source of the sound in an alarmed manner.

"Hey, hey- It's Brick." He quickly reassured you with a half awkward smile.

"Oh. Hey- You startled me." You explained, reciprocating the smile with friendliness.

"Sorry, sorry." He quickly apologized, scratching the base of his neck to release some tension.

You noticed his expression was always so- different around you than with other campers.

He usually had a friendly, calm and confident smile, but every time you looked at his face, it showed a more unsure and, dare to say, meek look.

The sound of him clearing his throat pulled you away from your thoughts.

"Ekhm, so, ready to go back to the group?" He asked, looking around, anywhere but your face.

You swear you could sense some hesitation in him, but you weren't sure why.

Perhaps it was the fear of the dark that you knew about?

"Yeah, yeah." You took a step forward, looking back to see if he's coming.

Brick followed you, keeping close and on the look out for potential killer.

"You don't think the killer is out there, do you?" You asked curiously, glancing at him.

"Oh. Well-" He trailed off slightly, unsure what to say.

"Maybe he's there, maybe not. But, our senses gotta stay sharp in any case." He spoke in an almost determined tone.

"If anyone comes, I'm ready to protect the group." He made a little salute to emphasize his point, gaining a soft chuckle from you.

"...And- you, of course." He added after a moment of hesitation, and with the help of dim lighting you could discern a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Well in that case, I'll make sure to look out for you." You said with a warm smile.

You could see his ears turning red and hear a bashful chuckle come out of his lips.

"I- I appreciate that." He finally mustered to say after a moment.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @kaylinalexanderbooks!

OC Deep Dive

I have, surprisingly, never done this one for Anarac, so here goes!

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Anarac suffers from some severe and debilitating astrophobia. Specifically, he's terrified of the stars. I wouldn't say this is irrational, though, since he knows that the 'stars' are the eyes of a timeless, destructive being that tormented him in life and assimilated his soul into its hive mind for millennia after death. In fact, I think his refusing to go outside past sunset is eminently reasonable. Other than that, he's been through so much that most other fears, like social anxiety or embarrassment, just don't have that much sting anymore.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Bad manners. Anarac had two sons in life, and he taught them to always clean up after themselves, mind their own business, and generally be courteous. He has a lot of "Who raised you??" moments around some of his other crewmembers, who don't always hold to this standard. Also, he never really gets too upset when others treat him like a madman, as he figures it's a warranted enough label, but that doesn't mean he'll care about their suggestions to stay on the ship.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Alas, the ghosts of the Starbreaker were not given bedrooms. In his corner of the cargo hold, you can find a blanket made from an old tarp, a collection of instructions from Kaulakri in the form of doodles, since that's the only way they can get around the written language barrier, and some soil and water samples he works on categorizing in his spare time.

What do they notice first in a person?

Hm, that's a tough one. Anarac is pretty good at reading people, so he takes in a lot at once. Generally, though, probably their hands. He can get a lot of details from someone's hands.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

10 - Anarac has been dead for so long that pain doesn't really equal danger to his brain anymore. If you stabbed one of the newer-dead ghosts, they'd probably scream in pain, even if the wound doesn't cause any actual harm to them. If you knifed Anarac, he would just stare at you, vaguely disappointed.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Freeze. When he gets stressed - from starlight or bad memories or what have you - Anarac dissociates pretty hard. It's an involuntary reaction that can leave him unresponsive for days at a time. From his perspective, he just blacks out and wakes up somewhere different, an indefinite amount of time later.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Oh boy. When Anarac thinks of family, he thinks of his sons, Finlay and Baerdyn. Finlay was older, at thirteen, and Baerdyn was ten. When Anarac was seventeen, he knocked up his then-girlfriend, Eabain, and they both dropped out of school to support themselves - Anarac also cut contact with his parents then, as they kicked him out. By the time kid number two came along, Eabain was realizing how much of life she'd missed by having kids so young. She left in the night, moved to another city, and never sent so much as a letter or dime of child support. Anarac was left supporting his kids alone. He always did his best to make up the difference - quitting his beloved restaurant job for one that paid better and working nights for extra money. This wore on him, of course, but he would've done that and more to make sure his kids were comfortable and happy.

What animal represents them best?

I'm gonna go with a whitetail deer. It's a flighty animal, but it'll put up a hell of a fight in a tight spot. Also, it's just kinda spooky.

What is a smell that they dislike?

The smell of prayer insense triggers some bad memories in him (not religious trauma exactly, more like he was causing trauma for religions).

Have they broken any bones?

Nothing plot-relevant. I'll say he broke a few ribs once falling off a balcony as a kid. He was kind of a dumbass.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

"D-Do you think that guy over there needs help? He's been staring at the same wall for like an hour now. ...Hm now that you mention it, have you ever seen folk like that before? The red skin makes me think hobgoblin, but his features look human, and his ears are too rounded at the end to be an elf. I guess he's many-lined or something. I've never seen clothes like that before either. They're so... antique? I swear I've seen something like those bracers in a history book somewhere. Man, he's gotta be crazy or homeless or both. I don't think that hair has ever seen a brush. His eyes are just uncanny..."

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

He doesn't sleep - none of the ghosts need to, but only Anarac doesn't. Honestly, he's probably forgotten how.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Anarac, former chef that he is, can be very opinionated about flavors, in his own way. His favorite flavor is caramelized garlic. He's the type to double the suggested serving of garlic for any recipe. A flavor he hates is green tea. He just doesn't get the hype. Too bad he died before coffee spread to his side of the continent.

Do they have any hobbies?

As stated above, in life, Anarac used to cook for work, and he cooked frequently as a hobby too. Dwarven recipes were his favorite, as the Araunian empire was pretty insular, so anything foreign was always a rarity. He also liked to dance, with dance halls being a common gathering space for his people. After dying and spending several thousand years in the torment nexus, then getting sent almost immediately on a space mission for the gods, he doesn't cook or dance much anymore, but he does want to find out if he can still eat food.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

If someone jumps out at him, he's gonna freeze up for like an hour. However, his crewmembers know better than that, so I'd say they'd plan something a little less jarring for him. In that case, Anarac would have a tough time remembering what parties are and what happens at them, but in the end, I think he'd be really touched.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

He's running around in the clothes he died in, which don't include any jewelry. If someone offered him jewelry, I think he'd be ambivalent on the matter. Put a jester hat on him, he doesn't care.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

It's godawful. Really, it's so bad.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

All-consuming terror and crippling guilt. Sorry man...

Do they have a favorite fabric?

He really, honestly doesn't care what's on his body. I don't think he could name a fabric if you asked.

What kind of accent do they have?

He's got a Scottish accent, and his voice is very whispery and ragged from disuse.

I'll tag @wyked-ao3 @vesanal @the-golden-comet @tragedycoded @mk-writes-stuff and anyone else who wants in!

Blanks under the cut

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Do they have any pet peeves? What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? What do they notice first in a person? On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?What animal represents them best? What is a smell that they dislike? Have they broken any bones? How would a stranger likely describe them? Are they a night owl or a morning bird? What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Do they have any hobbies? Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Do they like to wear jewelry?Do they have neat or messy handwriting? What are the two emotions they feel the most? Do they have a favorite fabric?What kind of accent do they have?

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 2)

Previous Chapter

warnings: emotional abuse

word count: 1.002

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I could not believe the piece of paper that was laying in front of me. I had gotten a B in my Biology test. Yeah, pretty ironic. Not even an A-, but a B.

For a short moment I buried my face in my hands, trying to regain my composure. Dad was going to kill me.

After class I was supposed to be at rehearsal, but I needed a moment to calm down first. Without thinking twice about it, I walked to the old bus.

Shams was not here yet.

The longer I had to wait for her, the more I was freaking out. By the time she arrived I was already a mess, forcing myself not to cry.

“(f/n), what happened?”, Shams worried as soon as she noticed my disheveled state.

I moved a bit to give her the chance to sit down next to me.

“I got a B”, I uttered breathlessly.

“Shit”, she cursed. “Is your dad home today?”

“Unfortunately”, I enlightened her. “You know how he acts. What am I supposed to do?”

“We could switch tests”, she offered. “I actually rocked this one for once. You'd only have to change the name.”

“Nah, he would notice. But thanks. And congrats.” I shot her a small smile.

She reciprocated the smile, but it vanished just as quickly as mine.

“Last time I had an A-, he ripped me off all my privileges. I don't think I can take not seeing you for so long again. I mean we would still meet at school, but I always have to pretend here”, I recalled. “Talking about it, I need to go to rehearsal for Tasneem's show.”

Before I could go Shams pulled me into a kiss. Thanks to the dirty windows nobody could see us after all. Too bad that I usually had to spend the breaks with Tasneem and the others.

“I'm gonna text you later, if my dad doesn't confiscate my phone”, I promised. “So you'll most likely not hear from me.”

Leaving the bus I buried my feelings deep inside of me and put on a smile. Honestly I was sick of acting, but it was the only chance to keep the life I had. And some aspects of it were definitely worth fighting for.

To my own surprise rehearsal was actually cheering me up as it was distracting me, needing all my focus.

But as soon as the music died down it all came crushing down on me again.

During the last lessons my anxiety was only increasing.

When I left the classroom I did not dare to look over at Shams because I would not be able to uphold my cover then, my perfect facade.

Back at home I did not know if I should be relieved or not when I noticed that my dad was making a phone call.

I placed my test on the table, where I was sure he would see. Then I hurried upstairs before his phone call ended. I could not tell him myself and definitely did not want to be around for his first reaction.

In my room I let myself fall onto my bed and hid under the sheets to ease my nerves, texting Shams.

Unfortunately she was not answering. Probably she was not home yet. So I tried the same with Omar instead, not telling him I was upset though. I just wanted to stop focusing on my situation and it worked. Omar could always make me laugh in a heartbeat.

“What are you laughing about?”, my dad questioned harshly. “Do you seriously think there's anything to laugh about?”

He ripped the blanket off of me.

I could not meet his eyes, but knew better than to stay on my bed. So I stood up in front of him.

“Is there anything you want to tell me about this?”, he inquired, pushing my test in my face.

I shook my head no.

“What's gotten into you? I thought we had an agreement”, he ranted.

“I'm sorry, dad”, I proclaimed. “I didn't mean to disappoint you again.”

“Disappoint me? This isn't even disappointing anymore. This is a disgrace! From now on I'm going to set some new rules”, he declared. “First of all give me your phone.”

I was smarter than to deny him. I handed my phone over without any resistance.

“Second rule: You come home immediately after school. No going over to Omar, no hanging out with any classmates, got it?”

Tears were pricking at my eyes at this rule. Nevertheless I nodded.

“Third rule: You're getting a tutor who's going to work with you after school until you go to bed. Nothing else but studying. Understood?”

I nodded once again.

“Use your words”, he demanded.

“Yes, I understand, dad”, I stated.

“You know what?”, he proposed, staring me right in the eyes. “Right now I'm glad your mom doesn't live to see you like this.”

With those words he turned around and left.

It felt like something was clawing at my chest, ripping me apart while taking my ability to breathe. I was not even sure what exactly I was feeling, only that it was unbearable.

My hand moved on its own, picking up the picture that was set up on my nightstand. A picture of my mom when she had been pregnant with me. A picture of the time she had still been alive and full of hope. A picture before my birth that had killed her.

It was strange to yearn for a person you did not know.

The picture in front of me appeared blurry as my tears were finally falling freely.

After crying and stressing out so much I was feeling utterly exhausted. I did not have the energy to pull me into my bed and instead just fell asleep on the ground, hoping that it had all just been a cruel nightmare.

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Next Chapter

So here we go! Just as I promised it all took a darker turn. What do you think about it?

Tag List: @sunwoniie