#to get a bowl or whatever. im just so annoyed with all of it and i hate it and i want to move out

[tempe-brennans]

break up with my boyfriend?

[pepprs]

my mom is going on a fucking witch hunt bc there’s a chip in the stupid island countertop 😭 like what is finding out who did it going to do. are you insane

[highvern]

YUCK

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: fluff, suggestive moments

warnings: mentions of illness/body fluids (snot, vomit), avoidant attachment from reader, Hoshi best boy

Length: ~2.9k

Note: more of this couples bc im crazy thank u @gyuswhore

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], Talk [a, s, f], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Two and a half months of hooking up with a guy who may or may not be a furry and things start feeling…comfortable. 

You’ll pretend until the day you die that every time the weekend rolls around you won’t end up naked in Soonyoung’s bed. Or your own. Usually it is your own because he has more roommates than you and yours leaves to stay at her boyfriend’s until Monday night which means there is no need to keep quiet (which you and Soonyoung both struggle with but you refuse to acknowledge that fact). 

It allows for many nights bent over the kitchen counter, Soonyoung’s chest hot against the back of your thighs as he works you up with his mouth. Or occasional nights on the couch after you both are too into each other to make it upstairs to your room, planted firmly in his lap while pinning his hands to the cushions. There's also the nights he drags you straight to bed and demonstrates exactly what all the pictures you took while tucked away in the privacy of a gross bar bathroom did to him. 

You’re pretty sure Soonyoung has picked up on your game by now because instead of asking ‘if’ he’s taken to asking ‘when’ he can come over. And it's annoying that it doesn’t really annoy you at all.

Soonyoung comes over on Friday nights and leaves Saturday afternoon, except when he shows up on Saturday mornings and stays well into Sunday night. Or the occasional weekend where you remember who you are and show up on his door and leave three hours later with cum still drying on your thigh as you walk past his roommates still pregaming in the living room.

Except now it's Friday and you’ve got nothing on your mind except for the inside of a toilet bowl and the cool tile of the bathroom floor.

Call it food poisoning or maybe the flu, but you’ve been in and out of sleep since the early hours of dawn. Shivering on the floor, the only company you have is a pile of dirty clothes. Even the crack of light under the door is too much stimulation for your illness-racked brain to tolerate.

“Y/N?” your roommate calls from the other side of the darkness, out in the hallway where it's safe from whatever curse is making home in your gut. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home? I don’t mind.”

“I’m fine,” you groan. Your words couldn’t convince the deaf but you try anyway. 

She responds but it slips right past because another bout of nausea takes hold.

You manage to fall asleep at some point, clammy on the floor with aching hips. Maybe an hour or maybe ten minutes. It doesn't really make a difference because you still feel like shit when the door opens and the hall light burns through your retinas.

“Hazel, I said I’m— What are you doing here?” you croak from the floor. 

Soonyoung stairs down at you, face soft with something that might be worry but it’s probably just the fever melting your brain. “You look like shit.” 

“You always know just what to say.” The usual snark isn’t there, replaced by a pathetic helpless whine of discomfort because all you want is to curl up and die. “Did you come to insult me or…?”

“Hazel let me know you were sick and usually sick people need medicine and soup so I brought that and this tea my mom used to give me as a kid.” 

“Are you trying to cure me so you can get your dick wet?” 

“No. If I wanted to stick my dick in a Petri dish I feel like there are easier ways to go about it.” He kneels right next to you like he isn’t the slightest bit concerned about catching the plague brewing in your immune system. A cool hand cups your cheek, thumb gentle at your temple where a dull throb has haunted you all day. You lean into the comforting touch without much thought.  “When was the last time you showered?” 

“I don’t know. Like two days ago?” 

“Yeah, I can smell that. Alright my little germ cell, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

His arms snake under yours, dragging you from the floor even with your muscles limp. It takes more maneuvering but you don’t bother helping. If he wants to play not-so-sexy nurse and patient then that's his problem. The warmth of his sweater is welcome though. 

“Is this some weird fetish thing?” Nose buried in Soonyoung’s chest, it comes out in a jumble. “Because I can’t handle this and the furry stuff.” 

“Yes, caring about your health is a fetish for me. Really gets me off knowing you’ve been a good girl and taken your vitamins.” 

“I knew it.” you whisper. “I’m not calling you daddy if that’s what you want.” 

Soonyoung laughs and the movement sends another bolt of pain through your skull. He tuts over your responding whimper and what may be his lips press to the side of your head briefly. It’s warm and comforting, the beat of his heart lulling you into the first satisfying rest since you woke up. Your hands bunching the front of his shirt are desperate for anything to keep you steady. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t release you while setting things up for a shower; accommodating for your weight with a slow shuffle and more placating coos against your hairline every time you protest a sudden jostle. The chill of the bathroom fully sets in when he pushes down your sweats and shucks off your snot stained sweater before tossing away his own. If you weren’t barely functioning it might even be impressive that he’s kept you in his arms the entire time.

“If you’re trying to fuck me, I hope you don’t mind snot.” You blow your nose against the curve of his neck just to be a bitch. 

You feel more naked under the stream of water than you ever have, which is ironic given you’ve had Soonyoung face to crotch more times than you can count. Something about the non-sexual nature of nudeness, feeling the least sexy you ever have while he scrubs you down with gentle hands, turns your stomach more than before.

“I’m not trying to fuck you,” he laughs again; a thousand volts straight to the heart. “Don’t worry.” 

You pop out of hiding, hurt by the idea. “You don’t want to fuck me?” 

Soonyoung’s face is soft, cheeks round and hair already damp to his forehead. He isn’t disgusted by the puke on your breath or the sweat matting your hair. Or if he is, he hides it well. “I always want to fuck you but right now I’m trying to make sure you don’t die.” 

You dive back into his shoulder, mind numb to anything beyond the silky feel of hands washing away days of ick. You’ve felt his hands on almost every part of your body but right now they lack the characteristic urgency from those moments where you can’t get enough of each other quick enough. He’s touching you the way he does in the glow of the moon after you’ve both been satisfied, when Soonyoung thinks you’re asleep and you let him as every curve and dip and hill of your body is covered in gentle strokes like he’s committing you to memory.

“I can do that on my own,” you argue. 

The facts aren’t stacked in your favor right now but it’s the principle: you don’t need him to take care of you. You can handle it on your own. He’s only here because you let him.

“Oh, I know. Now close your eyes so I don’t get soap in them.”

He cups your face, thumbs rubbing away the sweat that's been caked on since morning. Then it’s a rough washcloth doused in the scent of your face wash but you swat it away in favor of the calluses on his fingers. If you weren’t a dead woman walking he’d never get a chance to be this close. 

How is it more terrifying for someone to wipe away your boogers than let him see you naked multiple times a week? A question knotting your stomach into tight pieces as Soonyoung hums some tune you don’t recognize like he’s more than happy to do so.

Your brain stops working after so long; too exhausted from everything to think more about what this all means. Not even the familiar flat press of his front against yours can incite a response beyond content. All the world shrinks into the pitter patter of the water swirling around the drain, and the parts that are warmed by Soonyoung and the parts that are waiting to be.

When you come back to awareness, the waters off and he is whispering something into your clammy forehead.

“Hmmm?” 

“I said, it’s time to get out.”

More shuffling gets you back into your room where the mattress takes your weight while he digs around for fresh clothes. You roll onto your side, clad in a towel and nothing else, resound to fall asleep then and there.

“Alright, arms up,” he commands. 

You try to pull away, diving back into the pillow soaked from your hair but Soonyoung gets you up at the waist, maneuvering stiff limbs patiently.

“Do you have an armpit fetish too?” you ask with the collar stuck around the top of your head. 

“And you call me a freak?”

Next is pants, and it takes a few tries for you to even consider being helpful. Soonyoung lifts each leg individually, working the fabric as far as he can. Then a few dramatic grunts from coordinating your entire body weight but you’re back in a clean pair of pajamas and tucked under the covers. Soonyoung didn’t rise to any more of your snide remarks about being naked. He simply avoiding your bare skin like it’d burn. Not even his favorite thing about you (boobs) gets any attention, just a few chuckles and more kisses into your temple.

You melt into the plush mattress, hidden beneath a pile of blankets from the cruel world that cursed you with new realizations you're not prepared for just yet. 

Eyes closed the entire time, you hear Soonyoung leave without so much as a goodbye. In theory it’s what you want. Exactly how you prefer; you alone, him somewhere you can pretend all the confounding feelings don’t exist. You didn’t even want him to show up in the first place, but now that he’s been here and you’re horrifically aware how nice it feels to have someone take care of you. You miss him. 

And as soon as the pit opens up, you hear someone shuffling down the hall coming towards your room.

“Alright, once you eat something you can sleep.”

The thought of food tightens your stomach more than the fact he didn’t leave you but he’s right. You need fluids and you’re not strong willed enough to get them yourself.

After the first few bites, you feel a little more human and less like a walking sack of shit. With it, the discomfort of this entire ordeal rears with a new vengeance. 

“Why are you here?” It sounds like an accusation.

He doesn’t even miss a beat. “Because I like you.” 

Soonyoung says it matter of factly, the same way the sky is blue and water is wet, while shoving another bite into your mouth.

You’re too exhausted for a fight right now; not with the only person making a real effort to keep you alive, but the instinct is strong after years of low expectations and plenty of disappointment.

“Why?” 

“Because I just do.” 

Your eyes meet over the spoon. He doesn’t look annoyed or perturbed or even angry. He likes you whether you like it or not. 

“I don’t date.” 

“Okay,” he agrees, wiping at the spill dripping from your chin.

“You aren’t gonna argue?” 

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ and your need for confrontation with it. “You don’t wanna date? That’s fine. I’ll take whatever I can get, even if that’s spoon feeding you on your deathbed.” 

You take the next bite before commenting, “You’re so weird.” 

“I like you too. Now open up for the airplane.” He makes the noise and the medicine twists your brain into actually finding it funny. “How are you pretty even when you’re blowing your nose on my shirt?”

“Deal with the devil.”

He passes you a cold cup when you brush away the remainder of the soup. One sip is all it takes.

“How did you know I like the orange Gatorade?”

“I asked Jun to give me June’s number and she gave me Hazel’s number and I asked while I was at the store.”

“You went through all that trouble just to buy me the right Gatorade?” you snort.

“It really wasn’t any trouble.”

It isn’t but it’s more than anyone else has ever done for you. The fresh wave of nausea has nothing to do with your cold.

“I’m tired,” you tell him. 

The mess is cleaned up in silence. You pretend to fall asleep and Soonyoung lets you until he’s shoving more medicine your way. 

You shake your head, failing to refuse because Soonyoung is doing that dumb airplane nose again and when you cough up a laugh he shoves the spoon in your mouth and you’re left with no choice but to swallow.

Then he’s up and you watch through heavy eyes as he gathers his things. You’ll blame it on the drugs loosening the clutch you have on your emotions later.

“Where are you going?” you ask with faux apathy, negated by the fist tangled in the hem of his sweatshirt in case he evaporates away.

“Home. Unless…you want me to stay?” A tug at the sweater is your answer to that horrible thought. “Oh, thank god – I was getting sad.”

You roll over, offering him your back to curl around. The muscles tensed around your spine soften when he does. 

I sleep better when you’re here.

You won’t tell him that but Soonyoung stiffens for a moment and the fear you’ve said the wrong thing creeps in where fatigue hasn’t rooted just yet. But a kiss to your covered shoulder and a hand under your sweater, flat against your stomach so you stay as close as possible calms the thoughts enough you can drift off.

It’s strange. Having the heat of his body at your back without the limpness of a good fuck still coursing through your veins to thaw the parts that hate pillow talk and the stickiness that come with it.

What's even stranger is that you don’t really mind it all. If anything, it’s actually pretty nice.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[love4myg]

melted kisses | myg

summary. yoongi's kisses are always sickly sweet. but the taste of melted sugar on his lips makes you crave him more than the plate of sugar coated fruits.

────

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship au

word count: 1.9k

summary: yoongi and reader makes tanghulu together / yoongi very midly burns himself / makeout session ensues after their cooking / reader is elementary school teacher

warnings: making out, allusions to sex

a/n: yay im finally finished with exams!!! this was supposed to be posted next week but it's bts' 11th anniversary so 😋 also im very sorry that the drabbes are jumping around in the timeline, i will eventually put them in chronological order

main masterlist

────

"I'm an amazing cook, I don't know what you're on about," Yoongi grumbled as he pulled your back closer against his bare chest. You whined as the cool metal of the silver necklace he wore pressed against your back which caused goosebumps to erupt across your skin.

“I’m just saying. I’m not the one who blended chicken and other shit into a smoothie so I didn’t have to cook for the rest of the day.”

“That was one time. I’m a changed person now, love.”

"Whatever you say, babe."

You giggled softly and Yoongi huffed into your shoulder before he placed a soft kiss against your naked skin.

"You just can't admit that I'm a better cook than you."

You rolled your eyes at his words and turned your head slightly in an attempt to look at him. You could just about see his tired eyes that were closed shut.

"Fine. Next time we're both free, we're making tanghulu."

A lazy smile tugged at the corners of Yoongi's lips as his eyes scrunched into crescent moons.

"You were just waiting for an excuse to make tanghulu, weren't you?"

You hummed in response. You had mentioned the sweet snacks to him frequently, sending him numerous videos with recipes on how to make them.

"Yep. And you fell right into my trap," you giggled. You felt as Yoongi's body shook with airy laughter behind you.

"Ah, you're so annoying."

"You love me anyway," you said with a grin.

"I know," he whispered. He brushed aside your hair to press a kiss onto your temple and drifted off into a peaceful slumber within a few minutes.

────

In all honesty, Yoongi had completely forgotten about your agreement. He had thought you would too, as you were both too giddy and drunk on sex.

But when you arrived home after work the next day with a bag full of ingredients, the only words that stumbled from Yoongi’s mouth were to ask you why you hadn’t used his card to buy everything.

“It’s fine, I had cash on me,” you say, swatting away his words as you place the bag onto the marble countertops.

“Still.” Yoongi’s eyes watch your movements as you begin arranging all of the ingredients into different plates and bowls. 

“Babe, it’s not like I’m poor or something. Plus, I’m the one forcing you to do this.”

A sly smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you look back at him, and he playfully rolls his eyes before making his way over to you.

"Are you sure you don't want to rest or something? You just came back from work," he says as you start cutting the leaves of the strawberries off.

"Mhm, I’m sure. Can you get the small pot for me? The one we used for ramen yesterday."

Yoongi obliges and places the pot on the stove. You take the bowl of strawberries and bring it under the sink to rinse them. 

It wasn’t often that you would eat strawberries, always complaining about the millions of bugs within them. So when you did decide to have them, you made sure that they were squeaky clean even though it took more time. Yoongi thought they tasted the same either way, but never complained about your antics. 

During the early stages of your relationship, you both rarely got to spend time with each other, whether it was due to his work life or your college classes. Your preferences and quirks meant that a few extra minutes could be spent in your presence, so it didn't bother him in the least.

He moves to the rest of the ingredients and spots three tangerines lying together in a glass bowl.

"You got tangerines?" he asks, taking one into his hands. He throws it into the air like a tennis ball and catches it with ease.

You nod eagerly, a smile plastered onto your face as you look up at him.

"You love them so I wanted to try them out along with the strawberries and grapes. If we end up not liking it, you can have the rest."

Yoongi simply smiles as you bring the freshly cleaned strawberries back to the counter, a familiar, warm feeling tugging at his heartstrings.

He listens to the recipe you read off from your phone and places half a cup of sugar into the pot of water to melt before making his way behind you. He wraps his arms around you and lightly squeezes your body.

He had missed the warmth of your skin against his, and the light smell of your signature perfume. He had even missed the way your voice melodically bounced off the walls of his usually silent home.

Was he being dramatic about you being gone for nine hours? Yes. Was he going to stop? No.

"How was work?"

He places a kiss against your neck before moving his head down to rest on your shoulder, his narrow eyes watching you work carefully. 

"Good. A kid called me mom today and it was literally the cutest thing!"

He laughs softly as you place the knife down and bring your hands to your heart to emphasise your point.

"Mhm, that is cute."

A beat of silence passes before he whispers into your ear.

"I missed you."

It's embarrassing how fast the heat rises to your cheeks at his words, even after this many years of being together.

"I missed you too."

By the time you finish peeling the tangerines, cutting the strawberries and plucking the grapes off their stems, the sugar has fully melted. It would've taken half the time if you had an extra pair of helping hands, but you didn't want Yoongi's arms to move from where they rested around your waist.

Unfortunately, he's forced to peel away from your body as you lower the heat of the thick syrup and begin pushing the pieces of fruit onto skewers.

You playfully scold Yoongi whenever you catch him plopping one into his mouth before asking him to feed you one too.

"We need to stop, or there's gonna be none left by the end," Yoongi says, and you sigh in agreement.

Still, you sneak a slice of tangerine into your mouth, simply placing a peck on Yoongi's lips when he catches you.

In a few minutes, you have two plates filled with multicoloured fruits on skewers ready to be dipped.

You work carefully with the sugar syrup, and you’re surprised at how well the first few pieces turn out. 

"See, I told you! I'm just such an amazing cook," you say, waving the freshly coated skewer in front of him.

"This isn’t even that hard. Here, let me try."

Yoongi moves you to the side and takes a skewer. He tilts the pot to the side and rolls the fruits into the syrup, thickly coating it. He then puts it into a bowl of ice water for it to cool and begins working on the next one.

This time, however, he happens to reach too far into the pot and manages to dip the tip of his finger straight into the melted sugar. 

The hot substance takes a few seconds to do damage, giving Yoongi enough time to place the skewer into the water before swiftly pulling back his hand.

"Shit."

He wipes off the hardening liquid onto a small towel, but it leaves his skin red and angry.

"Babe, I told you to be careful! Are you OK?"

You step towards him and take his hand into yours. It wasn't serious, but there was now a tiny bump forming on the pad of his index finger.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It isn't even that big, see?"

"And? You still burned yourself," you huff.

Without another word, you look through the cabinets to find the burn ointment you had bought months ago as Yoongi protests.

"Seriously, love, it's fine. It doesn't hurt or anything."

"Still."

You successfully locate the ointment within your medicine box. You never really knew why Yoongi kept it in the kitchen, but his actions had proved useful.

You unscrew the cap and apply the tiniest amount onto his finger. He winces as you rub it into his skin, and you whisper an apology.

"There. Now, you've been fired as my co-chef and this also clarifies that I am clearly the better cook."

"That's not fair!"

"Sucks," you say with a shrug of your shoulders as you place the burn ointment back where you had found it.

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a playful scowl and moves to sit on the counter as you work on finishing the rest of the fruits.

Soon enough, the two plates are filled with fruits on skewers with a glassy finish to them. You watch a video to make sure you clean the pot of melted sugar properly and Yoongi offers to clean the rest of the kitchen up as you do so.

You reluctantly agree after seeing that his burn was starting to look less angry. After cleaning the pot and leaving it in the sink with a few other dishes from earlier in the day, you prop yourself onto the counter.

Yoongi finds himself standing between your legs not even a minute later, and you watch eagerly as you give him the first taste test.

His eyebrows scrunch together as he evaluates the taste, clearly taking his job very seriously.

"So?"

"Damn. That's really good. Have a bite."

You smile widely, proud of your work. He points the rest of the skewer at you, but you bring your lips to his and use your tongue to swipe the sugar from his lips. 

"You're right, it is good!"

You smile at the blush that creeps across his pale skin as he takes another bite, failing to hide his timid smile.

You both manage to eat around four skewers worth of fruit, sharing each one between you. Yoongi sneaks kisses against your cheeks and jaw after every few bites, enjoying how he left you a little flustered after each one.

"You're gonna get my face sticky with the sugar," you complain, though you both know you don't want him to stop.

"I'll just lick the stickiness off," he says with a shrug.

"Ew, you're disgusting."

He laughs at the whine in your voice, placing another kiss on the corner of your lips.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles, moving his mouth down onto your neck.

You tilt your neck to give him better access, stealing another skewer as you do so.

"Don't leave any marks, I have school tomorrow."

"The kids won't even know what they are," he mumbles, moving his tongue to gently graze your skin.

"Yeah they will! Kids are very modern nowadays, and there's only so many times I can say I burned myself with my curling iron."

Yoongi smiles against your neck and you leave the skewer in your hand to be forgotten on the counter. Your hands find their way into his grown-out locks, and you gently tug at the roots.

You bring his head back to meet your lips again, and the taste of melted sugar on his tongue drives you insane. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him in even closer.

You find yourself smiling against him as his hands move up to cup your cheeks.

Yoongi doesn’t mind being called a bad cook as much if this is how every cooking session was going to end with you.

[icallhimjoey]

now you’re allowed to write again, this is a formal request for the smut pls 🤝🏼😌

okay so, im bringing back bet!joe for you, because part of your brand is privately requesting specific smut, so our double or nothing boy's back with a new bet! (lil tw: it's.... it's right there, in the request, 18+) Wordcount: 2.4K

---

All The Aces

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“You’re wrong.”

He was wrong.

“Am I?” Joe smirked before he threw his head back to catch a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Izzy, please tell him he’s wrong.”

He was so, so wrong.

The flake of popcorn he then threw over that got stuck in your hair went vocally ignored – you just fished it out and threw it back, watched how Joe was chewing an open mouthful of his own, smugly smiling at your bad aim.

That flake landed on the floor about two feet away from him. Izzy picked it up as she walked past, already annoyed with the two of you before she’d even sat down.

Him visibly enjoying her disdain wasn’t exactly helping his case.

“Don’t get me involved in whatever you two do to get each other off.” Izzy commented as she sat down next to you to which you audibly gasped.

You were pressed into the corner of your sofa with a little bowl of crisps balanced on the side – your own one, because neither Joe or Izzy wanted any crisps. They wanted popcorn, so they got to share the big bowl.

With your flatmate slash best friend next to you, your legs pretty much filled out the entire sofa, leaving Joe sit by himself in the armchair and thus placing Izzy in between the two of you, right in line of your crossfire.

“We don’t–” you started, but the dropped jaw you’d had on show for a second too long had prompted Joe to chuck a whole handful of popcorn at you.

None actually made it into your mouth.

“I genuinely don’t need to hear about what does or doesn’t get you off.” Izzy raised her voice slightly as she looked at Joe, telling him off for throwing food. He immediately stopped his laughter and apologised by handing the bowl over to her before he sat back, giving you the opportunity to pick and drop all thrown flakes back into the bowl.

“Just, just take it from me that he’s– you’re wrong.” you urged, and Joe just laughed.

Izzy shook her head as she took a deep breath in through flared nostrils.

Joe took that to mean more than just sheer annoyance at being dragged into whatever childish fight you had going.

“Izzy knows what’s up,” Joe held up a hand, ready to high five her, absolutely willing her refusal to get into this argument with you as an agreement to him being right.

Which, he very much wasn’t.

Izzy ignored him though, left him hanging like a loser, which made you chuckle.

“Will you just, hear me out? Did you hear what he said just now?” you sat up a little, legs crossing in front of you as you turned to Izzy who was now finding whatever she said she wanted to watch on the TV, remote in hand, eyes trained on the screen.

“She did hear me, which is why she won’t.” Joe simply said, leaning back in his chair all relaxed, hands behind his head, legs crossing at the ankles as he placed them on the coffee table.

“No, but, listen. Joe said–”

“I don’t care what Joe said,” Izzy deadpanned. “These lovers quarrels ain’t it. I know you live here so I can’t just kick you out, but…” Izzy’s eyes flicked to Joe, which made him scoff in mock-shock before he let his face turn kind.

Sarcastically kind.

 “No, she’s right. It’s okay. I’m wrong. I’m wrong. I’m just a man, and what do I really know, right? You know, besides the fact that you have like, a billion more nerve endings than we do, which arguably should mean I’m right, just by the science and biology of everything, but, fine. I’ll be wrong if that makes you feel better. I accept my defeat.”

As Joe finished his small monologue, you were both frowning at him - for different reasons.

You, because he was being a little shit.

Izzy, because she was slowly trying to puzzle together what the fuck he was on about.

She then slowly turned her head towards you, eyes squinted in thought, and you sighed as you looked at her. You pretended Joe wasn’t able to hear you when you said, “Maybe you should kick him out, I’m not–”

“It’s 8000.”  She interrupted you sort of casually.

“What?”

“If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, it’s 8000 nerve endings for you,” Izzy nodded at you, and then turned to Joe to nod at him, “And 4000 for you.”

Joe raised his eyebrows in slight surprise as he smiled, reaching for another hand of popcorn with one hand whilst pointing the other at you.

“See? Double! That’s double the pleasure!”

“What do you mean, see? Like that proves you’re right?”

“Are you forgetting that we’re talking about something I am witness to? You can’t make such wild claims when I literally know how you–”

“Oh, my God. Stop!”

Izzy rapidly turned her head a few times between the two of you, trying to follow along, before she muted the TV and sat back a little.

“All right, I’m too invested now. What the fuck is the problem…”

“She said women don’t care for orgasms.”

“That’s not what I said, you– No, Izzy,” you had to laugh at the vile facial expression she gave you. “That’s not what I said! I said that for me–”

“No, no no. You said for women.” Joe was quick to correct you, wagging a complacent finger at you.

“Sure, yes. Fine. For women, sex isn’t just about the orgasm at the end. Like, that’s not the most important thing. It’s not all about that.”

Izzy’s face dropped as she blinked slowly, and you saw how Joe was studying her face as he did his very best to keep his own laughter inside of his body.

“Don’t you agree there’s so many other things–”

“Shh shh,” Joe held up a hand, “Let her think.”

You obliged with an eye roll.

Joe was wrong.

“I don’t…” Izzy seemed at a fucking loss. What the fuck was this conversation she’d just accepted herself into? It was bad enough that these were sometimes the type of discussions held within your group of friends, wild accusations thrown over a table that you all got far too passionate about. It was a whole other thing to have two of those said friends now together, as a couple, having the debate in Izzy’s living room where the issue was wholly personal and, worst of all, inescapable.

She sighed as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

“Sex isn’t just about the orgasm, right?” you tried, speaking softly, praying she’d at least sort of agree with you. You knew she did, but didn’t know if she’s vocalise it in the moment because you also understood she thought you and Joe were being fucking ridiculous.

She just wanted to watch her favourite show on TV.

Have a quiet night in.

And yet, here you were.

Talking about if orgasms mattered or not.

“Oh, then what is it about?” Joe couldn’t help spatting out as he went for another handful of popcorn from the bowl Izzy had now placed on the table in front of him.

“Um,” you sat up more, now borderline sitting on your knees and nearly knocking off the small bowl of crisps behind you, holding both hands up, ready to count on your fingers.

“Foreplay, intimacy, being close, feeling connected–” you saw Joe slump back into his seat, pushing his chin up as he sarcastically nodded at you with squinted eyes and a deep frown.

It was stupid how that made you laugh whilst you also tried your best at raising your voice to make sure he was hearing what you were saying. To convey you weren’t lying. Which, you truly weren’t!

You continued, “Doing a fun activity together, it’s like quality time, isn’t it?” you tried, nudging Izzy, but not waiting for an answer as you quickly carried on with, “The attention, being appreciated– giving appreciation! Learning about each other! All of these things go both ways, Joe, there’s just… there’s so many things.”

You looked at him a second whilst he seemed to think it over. Just when his facial expression seemed to give way with a raised eyebrow and a small cock to the side of his head, you sternly demanded, “Admit you’re wrong.” which was exactly the wrong thing to say.

“I’ll admit those things are nice, sure.”

Joe threw back his handful of popcorn and wiped his hands, giving himself a moment to think of how he was going to phrase what he was about to say.

You and Izzy waited expectantly, both sets of eyes on Joe who seemed far too relaxed for a single guy sat opposite two women, making wild claims that he somehow would know more about sex from a woman’s perspective than they would.

He truly did believe that to be the case, though.

So wrong.

“But, if we’re not crossing the finish line, what’s the point?”

“Did you not listen to the whole list of things I just gave you?”

“I’m not wrong.”

“You absolutely are wrong.”

“I’m not only not wrong. I am also, right.”

Izzy, who had been quiet for a bit, stared into the space in front of her as she suddenly loudly scoffed.

“He’s wrong right?” you pushed just slightly, desperately needing your best friend to be on your side for this one.

“Listen,” Izzy started, holding up a hand. “I’ve…” she faltered, and you made eye contact with Joe, a little panicked, a little confused.

What if she was going to tell you that you were wrong?

Oh no.

Best friend betrayal.

If Izzy disagreed with you, she could be an adult about it and pretend, just for the sake of it, that you were right and then tell you about her real feelings later, outside of Joe’s earshot.

Bros before hoes and all that.

“The finish line is important…”

Yes.

You smiled as smugly as you could and saw Joe’s slowly fade.

Izzy was a bro.

Yes.

You could just feel how she was about to side with you on this before she’d even said the words.

“But if it’s between all that she said and just, as you put it, crossing the finish line... she wins. She’s right.”

There.

End of discussion.

You didn’t cheer, or high five your best friend, or point at Joe to shriek at him that he was an idiot. You just accepted Izzy’s answer and gave a small shrug that quietly said, “See?”

Izzy reached for the remote she’d put down, unmuted the TV, and Joe watched as the two of you got comfortable on the sofa together. How you sat back and reached for snacks and laid the throw blankets across your laps just right.

It was a little suspicious how long he stayed quiet, but you knew it would only be a moment for him to try and argue his case once more.

There was no point, you knew, but you also knew Joe had an ego that was fragile, like all men had egos that were fragile.

Male egos couldn’t just take hits like this one, even if he was outnumbered.

You were chewing on a crisp when, from the corner of your eye, you saw Joe’s finger wag from left to right, pointing at the two of you before he spoke.

“You can’t actually be serious…”

“Oh yea.” Izzy didn’t even look at him as she answered, and it was hard to hide your smile. “So serious.”

“So, you’re saying…” Joe sat up, both elbows on his knees, whilst neither of you moved. “You’d rather have sex and not come–”

“Half the time, that’s just life,” Izzy complained, and you both laughed.

Joe didn’t.

Your moment of haha-men-suck that had its feet stuck in truths had you laughing louder when you saw how Joe definitely wasn’t in on the joke.

When Izzy saw, she snapped her head towards you and stage whispered, “Uh oh…” through her giggles.

Joe scooted forward even further and doubled down, “You would rather have sex and not orgasm, than have an orgasm? Is that what you are saying?”

He needed to hear you say it.

“Joe… please accept that you’re wrong and let it rest.” You were very much trying to be the bigger person, which was easy when your friend had just helped you win the argument.

But then Izzy grabbed hold of your arm as she looked at your boyfriend.

“Careful...” she warned alarmingly. “I’ve seen that face before.”

“Tell me you mean that. What I just said. Say that you would rather have sex without an orgasm than one with one...” Joe ignored Izzy, dark eyes locked right onto yours, facial expression made of stone.

“No, that’s not...” you sighed, looked at Izzy, said, “He doesn’t get it.”

“He doesn’t get it.” Izzy echoed.

You were still making fun, unable to stop your giggles.

“Say what you mean, then.” Joe was still leant forward, was still staring you down, all serious and urgent.

“Can we just watch TV now, please?” Izzy interupted, increasing the volume of the TV slightly.

Joe didn’t falter in this weird staring contest he’d started, one you weren’t participating in.

You looked down at your bowl of crisps as you fished out another one.

You bit it in half and saw how Joe grew a little impatient as his eyes followed your hand as you fed yourself.

Then, you finally answered, “Sex isn’t about the orgasm.” And Joe immediately clapped his hands together loudly, making both you and Izzy jump slightly. He seemed incredibly pleased as he sat back in the armchair, rubbing his hands together before he pointed a quick finger at you.

“I’m going to prove you wrong.”

A startled laugh escaped you as you and Izzy shared a look.

“All right, good luck mate.”

This time, it was Joe’s turn to scoff, and that smug little smile from before made its return.

“Won’t need it. You just wait.”

You looked at each other for a moment, and you didn’t trust his confident bearing one bit, but were too stubborn to let your own satisfied smile fade.

“Fine.” you said challengingly.

Joe was wrong.

“Fine.” Joe copied.

So wrong.

---

The Taglisted

@alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @demonsanddemogorgons

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@everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @gri959, @hanahkatexo

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@sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow

@witchwolflea, @yunirgo

add yourself

[princessbrunette]

toxic! rafe getting annoyed w reader bc shes going out wearing her mini skirt baby pink but thats her favorite ;(

he can control whatever he likes but he is not taking my mini skirts from me. he’ll have to kill me first

you try n sneak past where he’s sat to go to the front door but rafe has like, a sixth sense for these kinds of things so he’s up like a rocket following you into the hallway !

“hey, hey,” he’s grabbing your arm and turning you around, holding you still when you squirm. “the fuck are you goin’? dressed like that?” he squints, holding you at shoulder length so he can eye you up.

“im going out with the girls.” you respond bashfully, knowing you’ve been caught. he shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak but you get there first. “i love this skirt rafe, please — i just got it.” you bargain and he’s already shaking his head.

“i know— i know you like the skirt, sweetheart but you’re just…” he sighs, letting go of you. “you know every guy is gonna be lookin’ at your ass right? you’re aware?” he holds his arms out exasperatedly.

“why does it matter? i’m not gonna be looking at them.” you pout, trying to tug your skirt down a little to make it seem longer, which he notices, licking his lips and holding his arm out to your skirt in gesture.

“its tiny! s’a piece of fuckin’ fabric, can’t even keep it up when you’re standin’ still.” he argues. “this is the shit you wear around the house. with me— a’ight? not infront of some random assholes who are gonna be tryna catch a peek all night, okay— you think i don’t know how guys brains work?” he taps the side of his head, squinting. “i’ve been single before, okay i’ve been that guy.”

“rafe, it’s just a skirt.” you pout, sulking at the mention of him before he met you. “please?” you bat your lashes, hoping it’ll work. he runs his tongue along his lip, staring away as he shakes his head before turning back to you.

“alright.” he moves past you, grabbing his keys out the bowl and sauntering towards the front door. “you can wear it. but i’m coming.”

“… rafe it’s a girls night. they’ll be mad.” you argue quietly, and he turns to face you from the front door, scratching behind his head.

“i don’t give a shit, how they feel about it baby. it’s the skirt or me.” he shrugs, leaning on the door as he waits for an answer. you stare him down, letting out a long sigh and he speaks again. “probably gonna end up driving you home like i’m a goddamn taxi later on, so i might aswell come now, right?”

“… fine.” you roll your eyes, shuffling towards him.

“there you go. we’ll have fun, won’t we?”

[delulucoree]

Fake dating pt.2

“Party”

Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon as you were sprawled out on your bed in a tank top and some cozy sleep shorts, you laid comfortably on your bed catching up on your latest show when you suddenly heard a knock from what seemed like the window. You decided to ignore it thinking it was just the show until your heard another knock, you got up from your bed and went towards the window but saw nothing when suddenly stiles head popped out of nowhere making you jump in fear

“Ugh stiles don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack” you scolded him, but all he can do was laugh

“I’m sorry, im sorry” he said through his laughter, obviously not sorry at all

“What are you doing here stiles” you sighed slightly annoyed your afternoon was interrupted

“Wha- I can’t visit you anymore? And Scott’s right next to me”

*THUD*

Stiles looked back cringing seeing Scott laying on the floor after falling off the roof “I mean h-he was right next to me…yikes”

“Uuuhhh it hurts” you can hear Scott whine from down below, making you pull a concerned face for your best friend

“Oh walk it off you’ll heal!” Stiles called out “weareolves am I right” he said shaking his head disappointed

“I’m gonna open the front door for you guys, get down-without falling- and check if he’s okay” you left your bedroom walking down the stairs to get to your front door to let your best friends in

You told them to head to your room as you grabbed an ice pack for Scott’s head

“Here ya go” you said handing it to Scott as he laid on your bed

“Thanks” he breathed out wincing as the cold pack touched his head

“So is there a reason you came over…unannounced”

“Uh yeah? Lydia is having a party tonight remember” stiles said

It was only then did you notice their clothing as they had on their “good jeans” as they put it and a nice but casual shirt on

“First off no I don’t remember a party, and two I’m not going” you sighed turning around to sit at your desk

“Yes you are going, and we’re going to have fun, and we’re gonna put our plan into action” stiles stated

Your eyes widen as you looked at stiles confused and signaled that Scott was right there

“Oh yeah I told Scott” he said simply as he shrugged his shoulders

“Are you serious, you were the one who said we couldn’t say anything?!”

“I knoww, but how can I keep anything from this face” stiles said walking up to Scott and giving his cheeks a squeeze and a tap on the head, to which you looked at him unamused with your arms crossed against your chest

“Ok, okay” he sighed out “he saw that I was acting weird and used his wolf powers to pressure me into talking, I couldn’t help it! I felt as if I was in an interrogation room”

“I asked if you were okay?” Scott said confused shoving stiles off him

“Whatever same difference, but don’t try to switch the topic we’re going to that party so cmon get up go get ready” stiles shushed you to your closet so you can change

“Fine, but we’re not staying long and I get to drive there”

“Ughhhhh” stiles and Scott said in union

TIME SKIP TO PARTY AND A TERRIFIED SCOTT AND STILES

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my life, and I was attacked by a werewolf”

“I think I’m going to throw up”

“Oh shut up, you guys are so dramatic” you said annoyed walking towards Lydia’s house, the door was open and the place was packed, music booming everywhere, she sure knew how to throw a party you thought

“Okay hold my hand” stiles said holding his hand out for you to grab, your heart started to pound as you placed your hand in his as he lead you through the house, Scott not to far behind

“Cmon let’s grab a drink” you said heading towards the punch bowl “eeu that’s not punch” you said making a face, but downing it anyways knowing it’s probably the only thing that’s going to get you through the night

You stood by stiles the whole time, with his arm around you, him and Scott had a lot more friends after he made team captain of the lacrosse team and stiles by affiliation he too gained a popular crowd of people, you began to grow bored and stiles saw that as he kissed the top of your head asking if you were okay. You blinked at him not saying a word still fazed by the way his lips kissed you even if it was on your head “y/n you alright?” Stiles asked again

“Huh yeah, yeah I’m great I’m actually gonna grab another drink you want anything?” “No I’m good thanks, wait hold up” stiles said turning his head “Scott you want a drink!” Stiles called out over the music to Scott

“Nah man im alright” Scott said, turning towards his friends that he was just speaking with, to which you turned and started walking to the bowl for another drink, but when you got there it was empty

“Ugh seriously?” You said looking around for any other drinks, you walked inside to grab a water instead when you suddenly saw a bottle, an unattended half full bottle of vodka, you looked around to see if anyone was watching as you took a big swing, cringing at the taste

“If that doesn’t get me drunk I don’t know what will” you said heading back to stiles, and as you got outside it all hit you at once, the punch you drank earlier, the two shots you took with stiles and the big swing of vodka you drank “oh no.” You stated

You stumbled towards stiles knocking into people who were also drunk, probably a lot drunker than you

“Hey stiii” you smiled looking up at him, adoring the slight height difference you guys had

“Hey y/n/n?” He looked at you confused “you all good there”

“Mhm all goodd over heree” you giggled

“Right I’m sure, hey Scott we should go I think y/n had too much to drink” stiles said looking over to Scott

“Wha- no! I’m just now having fun we are not *hiccup* leaving” you said crossing you arms over your chest, and if you weren’t so unstable right now you would have stomped your foot as well

“Y/n we’re leaving.” Stiles said turning his head away from you to tell Scott that we’re going, to which you used as a perfect opportunity to escape, because if he got to have fun all night talking to his friends you should to

“Scott you have the keys?”

“Yeah there right here” he said pulling them out of his pocket

“Okay good let’s go” stiles said turning his head to look at you, only to discover that you were gone “ohh no…”

Meanwhile you were inside with everyone else dancing with a group of girls you just met, one of which happened to be Lydia

“Wow y/n didn’t know you were so much fun” Lydia smiled at you grabbing your hand as she danced with you

“Hahaha honestly I didn’t think I can have this much fun” you said drunkenly

“You know we should hang out more”

“Uh yeah duh” you laughed totally forgetting that your best friend who you’re fake dating is in love with her

“Y/n! Y/n/nnn, y/l/n!” You heard stiles and Scott yell out

“Y/n there you are, cmon we’re leaving” stiles said annoyed reaching for you hand

“Stiles I said I don’t want to, leave me alone” you said and continued to dance

“Y/n” you heard Scott say in a warning voice

“Y/n/n these your friends?” You heard Lydia say amused looking at both of them with a smile, more so looking at stiles with a smile, you had to admit stiles had a huge glow up over the summer like growing out his hair, gaining a little more muscle as well as getting taller, you guys had already been at school for a couple days but you guessed Lydia hadn’t seen him until now the way she’s eyeing him

“Yeah there my frie- *hiccup* -nds, and their being annoying” you said rolling your eyes

“That’s it we’re going” stiles said picking you up and out the front door, but you had no energy left to fight back so you just let him and Scott hot on his trail helped stiles put you in the back of the car

You ended up falling asleep, stiles picking you up being the last thing you remember before totally passing out and waking up in bed the next morning with a raging headache and with stiles sleeping on the floor next to your bed and Scott sleeping on the small couch you had in your room practically falling off, “worst night ever” you sighed plopping back into bed and falling back asleep

LATER THAT DAY

“Okay so Lydia was totally checking me out last night you saw that right?!” You heard stiles say as you began waking up

“Yeah man, it was so weird I thought I was dreaming”

“Haha” stiles said nudging Scott “And the way y/n was dancing with her, I mean if she ends up being friends with her this plan might be even easier than I thought”

You closed your eyes and turned your body around now facing away from them, slightly upset that this whole fake dating to get Lydia Martin might actually work.

[the-s1lly-corner]

hello hello!! can i request a jax x reader who is ballerina?? i feel like i'm addicted to this kind of dynamic, gives me avril lavigne's skater boy vibes!!

🌻 anon!!

Jax x ballerina!reader

imma be so real i know next to nothing about ballerina stuff, all i know is the outfits and dancing and all that so bare with me SOBS this one is on the shorter side i hope thats alright </3

he throws a bowling ball at you while you're practicing/j

im sorry i think its funny that he just THREW the ball at kinger i cant get over it but like, also, how?? strong is he?? do they all have similar strength where they can just *do* that sort of thing or is jax just strong, granted idk how heavy bowling balls are or if there's such a thing as weight in the digital world

tangent aside and out of my system for a joke that probably won't land: if your digital body also looks like a ballerina and you happen to have a tutu or any sort of frilling just know that hes going to smack it, poof it, whatever, hes going to fiddle with it just to annoy you or get your attention

while i think he would be more likely to keep his whole "being an asshole and nuisance" thing a one man act, i feel he would probably ask for you to help him with something

be it working as a distraction or as a part of the shenanigan itself

he likes watching you practice in your spare time, before things like this wouldn't interest him but you got him hooked on you and you alone

do not ask him to dance with you, in general. i feel like he would immediately pass

new hc that jax cant dance for SHIT!!!

sometimes he'll listen if you start talking about your experience and training in ballet, actually he's kind of impressed because it sounds like something that requires years of dedication and focus

hey hes an asshole but i think hes still capable of giving people credit where credit is due

[justalildumpling]

⇢ haechan as your boyfriend

pairing: haechan x reader  genre: fluff, established relationship note: happy bday to our chaotic little pudu!! im sorry for making you the punching bag of my smaus🤠

let’s be for real here, he was the one who confessed to you. it does not matter whether you liked him first, he would’ve confessed first

haechan probably would’ve just started talking to you randomly, asking to become friends and annoying the HECK out of you until you started unwillingly liking him and magically he confessed to you.

when you guys were friends, he probably would’ve hugged you and clung to you a lot but once you start dating this boy… have fun with him stuck to you 24/7! no seriously, you can’t rid of him

expect lots of back hugs, hugs from the side with him placing a soft kiss on your cheek with a playful little smile on his face, him hugging your waist whilst he’s sitting down

your hand will always be warm. if he sees you visiting him at work, he’ll excitedly grab your hand and drag you around; if you’re sitting at dinner with his members, you bet his hand will be caressing the palms of your hand; if you’re having a little cry, his hand will automatically reach for yours, fingers intertwined

so much banter, sarcasm and sass in your relationship like if your friends or anyone saw your text messages to each other, they will be concerned

he would send random photos throughout the week to let you know what he’s up to. it could be a photo of his hair getting dyed with a text saying “i bet you $20 that you can’t guess what colour im dying it this time :p” “red.” “WHAT?!!!>>! YOU WITCH! HOW DID YOU KNOW?” “lucky guess :)” it could even be a photo of his favourite chocolate snacks or a paper cut on his finger

despite your constant old married couple bickerings, haechan would hold so much love for you. he would constantly compliment you, saying that you’re the prettiest person alive, hype you up whenever you buy a new outfit and just gaze at you with a lovesick look in his eyes

that boy and his jealousy are like a match made in heaven (but in the pettiest and jokiest way possible) realistically i don’t haechan would get jealous in a serious sense like he wouldn't be insecure about himself or his trust in you at all but if he sees you hanging out his members (esp dreamies) too much, you best know the man’s gonna either be ignoring you for a bit (to annoy you) or just hanging on for dear life and shouting out how your his girl in front of everyone. 

like i can imagine you and him cuddling up in his dorm and him just randomly asking you, “me or jeno?” “huh? where is this coming from?” “answer, me or jeno?” “you, of course, what are you-” 

and haechan would get up from his bed and shout out “HAH! SUCK ON THAT JENO! Y/N LIKES ME MORE!” and jeno replying with the most confused face, “I WOULD HOPE THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKES YOU MORE THAN ME??????”

expect lots of facetime calls or just calls in general, it could literally be for a minute before he goes on stage for his tour. “hyuck why are you calling me on standby?” “because i wish you were here, you would’ve loved it here.”

he would call you after every show of his tour and despite the time differences you would still pick up, i can imagine him with his hair damp after his shower, eating a bowl of kimchi jjigae and telling you the highlights of his concert or simply singing you your favourite song as you fall asleep on call

your dates would vary between lazing around at home, watching cheesy rom-coms on netflix with a pile of snacks to going out in the city at night, making your own silly adventure and pretending that it was only the two of you in the world

the best thing about dating haechan would be that he would bring out your inner child, nourishing it and reminding you that it’s okay to have fun and to live in the moment once in a while and to forget about your worries. he would remind you to do the things you love, to make time for them whilst you’re working or whatever adulting things needs to be done. 

your relationship with him would be fun, lighthearted and healing and he would never fail to remind you that you are indeed loved and cherished, not just by him but everyone around you as well

[nikoruistyping]

Our Love Language || Spencer Reid

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader​

Summary: It’s your first time spending Valentines day with your boyfriend, Spencer and just when you thought all was lost he surprises you in more way than one...

TW:  Small bit of Fluff, Lots of Smut, Adult Language/Swearing, Dirty Talk, Kissing/Making Out, Fingering (Kinda), Vanilla Vaginal/Office/Desk Sex, Oral Sex (Fem Receiving), Praise Kink, Nudity, Playful Banter/Jokes, Established Relationship, Aftercare, Mention of Valentines Day, Gushy “I love you’s” 

Word Count: 4,805

A/N: HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY FOLKS! I hope you enjoy and this little one shot is especially dedicated to my bestie who is obsessed with our boy Spencer Reid so I hope you enjoy babes and that everyone else does as well! Also this took me almost 3 days to write and proof and Im sure there is a bunch of mistakes still so I will go in and fix later since work and personal life has been crazy recently.

Physical touch, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service, Words of affirmation

It was the one day of the year you actually hated with a passion because the thought of it made your blood boil. Another holiday for people to make money off of and take advantage of all the loving couples who wanted to do many something a little extra special for their significant other. It was annoying having to see so many happy couples going around doing all the stuff you wanted to do but at the end of the day, you would go retreat to your fuzzy blanket and turn on Netflix with a bowl of ice cream in hand. Well at least that's how you used to spend Valentine's day but this year would be different from the rest because it was your first time actually being able to celebrate not alone but with your boyfriend Spencer.

You had an extra pep in your step the whole day and as you got off the subway from a long day at work you were looking forward to whatever surprise or possibly more than one surprise he would have for you waiting at home. It was eating you alive trying to guess or more so make up little scenarios in your mind about how just exactly what would the night entail. Would he go the more romantic route? Dozens of roses and a home-cooked meal? Would he get down and dirty from the get-go? Doing tons of explicit things to you the minute you stepped into the doorway? Just the sheer thought of it made you bite your lip, your steps getting faster in anticipation.

Before you could even pull your keys out of your pocket you get a phone call from Spencer and you quickly smile at the picture you had set as his contact photo, clearly something so silly and embarrassing but it reminded you of how much of a goofball he could be sometimes. You pick up raising the phone to your ear to listen to his voice.

"Hey babe,"

"Hey Y/N, so I have some bad news..." His voice seemed to echo so loudly into the phone your heart seemed to drop.

"Bad news...what the hell do you mean?" Your brow was furrowed in confusion as you had stopped in your tracks just minutes before you could enter into your apartment building.

"I-I don't think I'm going to make it home on time," You could hear the shakiness in his voice and that he was nervous.

"You have got to be kidding me! Spencer, you know how important today is for me. It's our first time as a couple celebrating Valentine's day, are you sure there isn't anything you can do?" Your Valentine's day plans were starting to disappear before your eyes and you hated how much importance this stupid holiday had on you but you at least wanted to enjoy it once while being in a serious relationship with someone you truly loved. You tried your best to seem tame over the phone because at the end of the day, it wasn't exactly his fault.

"Don't you think I know that Y/N?! Trust me I want to be with you too right now but this case is really beating up the whole team and there are piles of paperwork to do." He deeply sighed into the phone out of exhaustion, you hated seeing him so overworked like this and you know he hasn't been sleeping well recently.

"Fine how about this...have you eaten at all today?" You ask into the phone raising an eyebrow, you were sure Spencer could already imagine the look on your face.

"Does two cups of coffee count?" He asks with a small chuckle.

"Well, that tells me all that I need to know. It's decided I'm coming over to the BAU and I'm bringing dinner for us. If you can't come to me I'll just come to you." You quickly decided after sacrificing all the perfect little plans you were imagining in your head and you started to accept the reality that you would be spending your most romantic night ever in the dim lights of the FBI's office, how exciting.

"Y/N are you sure?! You really don't have to and plus do you really want to be here bored out of your mind watching me do paperwork?"

"I've already decided and as long as I'm spending time with you that's what I really care about." You say with a small smile on your face and turn yourself around to start walking in the other direction.

"You're right, I'll see ya soon then yeah?" He asked with a grin across his face on the other side of the phone.

"I'll let you know when I get there. See you soon my love." You quickly hung up the phone blushing to yourself before he could comment on the new pet name you called him. For some reason, it felt natural to say, what other day is better fitting than today right?

1 Hour later...

Take-out bags in hand you made your way over to the front doors of the BAU office. The office from the outside seemed darker than usual and there weren't many cars in the parking lot so something was definitely off. You reluctantly swiped your visitor's badge at the front door, pushing the glass door open with your hip to hold it as you seemed to juggle the bags of food around from one hand to the next. When you turned around to look at the front desk there was a candlelit walkway leading you in exactly the direction you were supposed to follow. Immediately a smile came about your face and you eagerly followed the pathway made for you, rose petals decorated the floor leading you right to were you needed to be.

"Spencer?!" You questioned calling out to him hoping he would respond back. The darkness seemed to fill the air and you couldn't see anything in front of you other than a few office desks being dimly lit by candlelight. You cautiously took a few steps forward, footsteps echoing into space.

To no avail, you didn't get any response back so you tried your best to navigate where you knew his desk was. You could already tell it must have been his because it was the one that had fairy lights surrounding it, more rose petals decorating the small space, and a little folded-up notecard addressed to you.

You gently put down the bags of take-out food and picked up the notecard while reading it to yourself.

Y/N, I know you're probably a bit upset at me that I lied to you so you could come here. I wanted to celebrate this special day in the one place where it all started, here in the BAU office. I hope that this doesn't come off as lame or corny, it's my way of showing you how much you mean to me. Happy Valentines Day S.R You couldn't help but have the biggest grin on your face, you couldn't believe that he really went through all this trouble to make everything look so pretty for you. You really were the luckiest girl in the world at that moment.

Before you could even say another word, you felt a familiar presence standing right behind you, and hands quickly covering your vision so you couldn't see.

"Spencer is that you?" You knew it was him but hey no harm in asking.

"Hmm... the name doesn't ring a bell. Can you describe what he looks like?" His breath was hot as his lips were close to your ear.

"Oh I see-" You quickly caught on to the drift of his little game so you decided to play along.

"Well let me think and see if I can remember," You paused trying to build up the suspense.

"He has these handsome brown hazelnut-colored eyes, he's about 6'1, his hair is light brown extra fluffy sometimes curly and his lips are very and I mean very kissable. Is that a good enough description?" You answer back smirking to yourself that you were sure it made him smile hearing you say that last bit of info.

"I might have seen him around, looks like he happens to be a criminal though so I'd be careful if I were you." He almost broke his serious tone of voice with a small but audible chuckle.

"A criminal, what is he guilty of?" You ask pretending to be shocked with a fake gasp escaping your lips knowing exactly where this little joke is going but you decided to indulge him since you found it cute and endearing.

"Looks like he stole someone's heart," He states as you decide to turn around, his hands lifting up to uncover your eyes so you could finally look at him. All the feelings from when you first met flooded back, the all too familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach and cheeks flushed pink while your eyes made contact with his.

"He definitely stole mine for sure." You declare quickly pulling him closer to you, your hands immediately finding their home on the back of his neck where your fingers played with small loose strands of hair.

You smiled and leaned forward, kissing his lips softly, after such a long stressful day his lips felt like home. You let yourself become so relaxed that without even realizing you started to draw him closer, a queue for Spencer to put his hands on your waist. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss him this passionately and you pressed into it, your fingers curling in his hair and lightly tugging. Your head turned to the side, your tongue sliding against his as the kiss became more intense. You let a quiet moan slip out and before you could get too carried away you pulled your lips away. Your hands reached back to his face and soothingly stroked the patchy stubble on his cheeks.

"You know you're a pretty good actor, I would have never guessed." You commented with a small giggle he just smiled right back at you.

"Let's just say it was a little white lie, it's an exception. Plus it was so worth it to see you like this right in front of me." He leaned in closer nuzzling his nose against yours as you just enjoyed the faint smell of his cologne.

"I have to say I'm impressed you were able to do all of this and with Hotch's permission?! You must have had to beg." You said with a small snicker.

"Well, what can I say, some people are worth going through a little bit of hell," He says with a smile as one of his hands goes up to cup your cheek, his hand a bit shaky and you could tell he seemed a bit nervous despite the very confidant façade he was putting on for you.

"Is everything ok Spence? You're shaking," You ask concerned as you put your hand on top of his.

"I-I-um well ok- there is something important I wanted to tell you and I thought it's finally the right time to do so," He took a deep breath and you could even hear how hard he swallowed due to the deafening silence around you two.

"Y/N...I love you-" The minute he uttered those three words you couldn't help but giggle at his confession. He furrowed his brows in confusion almost a bit offended at your reaction.

"What's so funny?! You know I’m trying to confess my undying love for you and this is the thanks I get-" He was ready to protest.

"Spencer I'm not laughing at your confession. I'm laughing at the fact that you got all nervous just to tell me that? I already know that you love me but it does feel nice to hear it out loud." You say nonchalantly and you could have sworn his jaw dropped at your words.

"How did you know? I mean this makes no sense at all I made sure to keep it a secret-" He was seriously in awe at how you could have figured out something so simple it even made him scratch his head.

"Spencer it's very simple to explain, this is our love language," Your hands slid down to hold both of his and intertwine your fingers with his as you pause a moment to savor every bit of how he was so focused on listening to you.

"I'm sure you have already heard of the five types of love languages. All the things we do for each other every day are all acts of love and even though we might not say it out loud in words actions speak louder," Your fingers traced small patterns on the back of his hand as he gave you a small smile.

"Every time you tell me how beautiful I am, when you clean the whole house for me, when we cuddle watching movies together, when you come home with my favorite dessert because you know I've had a bad day and cheesecake is the only way to cure my sadness and when you hold my hand or kiss me, those are all things that reassure me that you love me. You don't have to be some big-shot FBI Behavior Analyst to see we are in love Spencer."

"Wow...you literally just blew my mind-" He utters under his breath impressed by you but mostly surprised how you really do love him and that everything he does for you and you for him, that the little things don't go unnoticed.

"I don't want to toot my own horn but I tend to do that." You flash him a little smirk.

"Then how about you show me other ways you can blow my mind some more, hmm?" Spencer hummed as he leaned in closer to whisper into your ear, his fingers reaching to push a strand of hair behind it. The look in his eyes shifted from a soft brown to now a deep ocean of brown that was filled with lust.

"I see how it is, you want to jump right to dessert?" You question in a playful tone as your hands pressed themselves against his chest, playing with the ends of his tie between your fingers.

"You know I have a sweet tooth and I want to put one of those love languages to use," He says as his hands travel to touch the sides of your neck, grazing against your skin and sliding their way down to your waist slowly twisting your hips to his will while taking a few steps forward until your ass hit the edge of the desk.

"And which love language would that be exactly Spence?" Your fingers entangled in his tie and pulled him closer while you jumped up to sit on top of his desk.

"I think you already know which one I'm talking about." He took the opportunity to nudge himself into the open space you had made by parting your legs so he could fit and be even closer.

"Then why don't you just show me already, hmm?" You hummed back as if challenging him to take action and he sure didn't waste any time.

Before you knew it Spencer was crashing his lips into yours. His kiss is a bit more aggressive than normal, the force of it tilting your body to bend back. You feel your legs go weak but his arm quickly flexes to catch you from falling completely back onto the desk. His lips coax yours open with little effort as you're hardly putting up any resistance at this point. The flavor of bitter coffee is rich on his tongue as it swipes against yours. His teeth catch your lips in bites, groans, and moans caught in one another's mouth. You could feel his hair tickling your forehead and cheeks while you adjust the tilt of your head changing the angle of the kiss to be even deeper.

A few seconds more and you both pull away from one another's lips, gasping for air. Your lips feel swollen, breathing rapid, face tinted pink. You're pleased to find Spencer was left in equally the same state, taking deep breaths, lips slick and tinted with your favorite shade of lipstick.

You decided to heat things up even more by taking action and wrapping his tie around your small nimble fingers, yanking him forward. His eyes widen in surprise briefly as his smirk falls from his face just as your lips crash into his. This time you work your tongue into his mouth. Your kisses prove to be more teasing and playful than before.

Spencer responds by wrapping his arms around you. Your free hand travels down his body, appreciating and pressing against the taut muscles and harsh lines beneath his button-down shirt. He pulls away for a moment to show attention to your neck which was in dire need of being marked by his lips and teeth. You were ashamed to admit how much you loved when he left his little mark on you, showing to everyone you were his and only his. You tilted your head back enjoying the way he softly bit into your skin and would lick over the small bruises he created. He groans into the crook of your neck as your hands travel down his body, his hips pressing into you and you could already feel his growing erection through his slacks, brushing your inner thigh through the material of your skirt which you had already taken the liberty of hiking up.

His hands coursed over your body, running along your back, grasping your shoulders, weaving into your hair, gripping your hips and tilting them towards him, his body causing yours to twist and turn in ways that only his touch could do to you. You feel a rush of adrenaline run through your veins and for some reason even though sex with Spencer was always an exhilarating experience for some reason becoming all undone on top of his desk seemed so scandalous. Dare you say it might have even been a forbidden fantasy of yours with him.

Your fingers rake through his curls cradling his head close to your neck as he slowly travels downwards, his hands pushing the lacey fabric of your blouse to the side giving him more access to your neck and collarbone. His fingers fumbled with the buttons until he lost his patience and ripped it entirely off your body until you were left in only your bra. A loud gasp left your lips at his mere strength.

"What? I hate buttons." He quickly comments pausing the assault he is currently doing to your neck.

"T-That was my favorite blouse, Spencer." You try to say in defense but who are you kidding you didn't give a damn you wanted him to keep on kissing down your body till he reached the one place you needed him most.

"I'll just buy you a new one." His voice was already raspy while continuing to place kisses on your skin, one by one the more he seemed to travel and you leaned back giving him more access.

"You're lucky that I love you enough not to care too much-" Your sentence interrupted when his fingers quickly unzipped your skirt and he flung it behind him. His lips made their way downwards kissing your thigh and down your leg, his hands delicately lifted your leg up into the air, taking off your high heels and letting them drop with a loud clack onto the floor.

He runs fingers caressing your skin as he fluttered peppered kisses back up to your inner thigh. He kneeled down on his knees to be face to face with your heat. His hands crept their way to the edges of your panties and slowly pulled them down your legs, painfully slow might you add. It made you even hotter seeing him like this, worshiping you like a goddess.

"S-Spence I really need you-" A loud moan escaped your lips when he finally touched you, he knew all the spots that drove you crazy.

"Someone sure is eager, huh?" He quipped right back while looking up at you through hooded eyelids, loving the undone expression on your face and he wasn't even working his magic yet.

"Spencer, please." You begged through heavy breaths.

He started off with long laps of his tongue, fully tasting you, all of you. He'd break away every so often showing love to your inner thighs with peppered kisses. He'd build up your pleasure and pull away before you could be fully pushed over the edge. His skillful tongue circled your clit as your moans became high-pitched. You squeezed your eyes closed and rutted your hips up against his tongue hungry for more. Your hands found his curly brown locks, guiding him to continue pleasuring you and he groaned as you pulled at the roots.

You let a slew of curse words mixed with the way you kept saying his name over and over again fly from your mouth. He liked the sounds that came from you so he thrusted his tongue inside of you.

“Have I ever told you…” another broad lick, this one faster than the last, “… that I love the way you taste?” You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat hearing the way those words come from his lips.

You’re incapable of forming words let alone a whole sentence, your body strained from the rise and fall of almost coming undone. You bite your lip and give what you hope is a nod, knowing he’s watching you from down below. He lets out a moan as he sucks on your clit and your head falls back while tugging on his hair, your legs resting on top of his shoulders as you clutch him closer locking him in that position.

"I'm so close-" You barely were able to get out as he just relentlessly continued to pleasure you with his tongue.

You came, crying out his name, you were pretty sure your moans and screams were echoing all across the office, thank god nobody was there to see or else you would have been embarrassed beyond belief. He kept licking stripes up and down your slit, lapping up your cum as your legs squeezed around his shoulders. He pulled away for a moment to take a breath, cleaning the glistening liquid from his lips with the back of his hand.

"You definitely blew more than just my mind right now." You struggled to say between heavy labored breaths while you watched Spencer get up off his knees and hastily pulling at the knot in his tie to yank it off while he somehow patiently unbuttoned his own shirt, shimming it off his shoulders.

"You better get ready to have it be blown again." His fingers quickly went to his belt buckle and undoing it just enough for his erection to pop out.

He aligned his hips with yours as you just watched him slowly bring himself closer. His cock laid flat up against the small bit of lower abs that Spencer had been working on building up, he bit his lip seeing you so unraveled and needy for him. His lips found their way back to yours, his tongue pressing up against yours making sure you could taste remnants of yourself on his lips. The way he kissed you was passionate yet rough it was like nothing you had ever experienced, maybe it was the fact that it was Valentine's day who knows but Spencer had dialed up his tactics and you weren't complaining either.  Your hands had found a place to rest on his shoulders, giving you the right position to keep him close. He pressed just a bit harder into kissing you, his teeth grazing your lower lip catching it and biting it in response as he started to get desperate.

"Fuck Spencer, I need you...please..." You said practically begging at this point as you craved to have his cock inside you.

"Shit...I love you so much Y/N." He declared almost with a smug look on his face knowing exactly what he was going to do next. Your legs were already feeling like jelly but you had found enough strength to pull his hips closer.

"Then show me how much," You whispered into the close space between your bodies.

Without warning his cock filled you completely in one stroke, the head brushing against your wet slit as it entered you. You squeezed your eyes shut as his length stretched your walls. He drew his hips back and then thrust back into you. Gasps and whines fell from your lips as he fucked you. You drew arbitrary patterns on his biceps with the pads of your fingers. Your toes curled as he slammed into you over and over again. His hands gripped the desk underneath you as he struggled to steady himself with each and every thrust the faster he went in and out of you. His nose nuzzled into your neck as he struggled to hold back his groans of pleasure.

For a moment his thrusts slowed but went deeper into you as you were being fucking into oblivion on top of his desk. His hands went from having a grip on your hips trailing slowly up to holding your hand, entwining your fingers with his as he took his sweet time bringing you to your climax at a slower pace. Everything felt like it was in slow-mo as his cock stroked along your g-spot, coaxing your orgasm to come faster. You could feel your core coiling up and about to burst. You squeezed his hand even harder while your moans filled the air and his head buried into your neck littering your neck once again with lovebites dark enough to leave marks the next morning.

"Cum for me...Y/N..." He had whispered into your ear, it flushing red with each and every word he had said.

You had cursed his name under your breath as your whole core had tensed up for just a moment while you came. His hips were still thrusting into yours as you rode out your high and you could feel him release inside of you, your fingers relaxed against his as you released his hand from yours. Both of your breaths were heavy and panting. His head leaned against your shoulder while your back was arched against the desk holding the both of you up. Your legs had tightened around his waist keeping him close to you while your bodies seemed to entangle with each other, his arms quickly embracing you.

Your hands went to cradle his head close to your chest as you played with his curly locks loving how soft his hair was.

"I love you, Spencer, so so much." That was all you had the strength to say while your breathing started to even out.

"Me too-" His voice cracked still trying to catch his breath.

"The best Valentine's day I could ever ask for." Your comment seemed to echo followed by an exhausted chuckle.

"I'm really glad you enjoyed it but you know I'm not done with you yet." He lifted his head to finally look you in the eyes as he disconnected your bodies letting you have a minute to fix yourself as he picked up the discarded clothing on the floor.

Your eyes still wandered while observing him get dressed as you swung your legs back and forth sitting on his desk, patiently waiting but also coming up with how you could keep the energy of tonight going for as long as possible.

"How about we eat some food first since by now I'm sure it's cold and then I can show you some more ways I can blow your mind...physically that is." You raised your eyebrows at him and he snickered to himself slowly walking over to you and cupping your cheeks in his hands.

"Sounds like a plan my love." He quickly kissed your lips with a grin on his face.

For the rest of the night, you two sat at his desk enjoying each other's company while you chow down on your favorite foods. Spencer went on through explaining how he really set up this whole elaborate plan to surprise you and you smiled along knowing that you were going to keep falling more and more in love with the man right in front of you. As he rambled on and on his voice started to fade into the background as you started to reflect that if every Valentine's day was going to be like this you wouldn't have it any other way and you could proudly say that your first Valentine's day was a success. You realized that didn't need a day dedicated to show how much you loved Spencer because in reality you had been doing so every day and you hoped to keep doing so for many more years to come.

[sadie-bug345]

gang as after school snacks🫵🫶

i main oreos and milk ANYDAY OF THE WEEK🧍‍♀️👹❤️

ponyboy:

prob apples or sum shit😭

like something kinda random but also reasonable

ngl apples and peanut butter HIT sometimes

so he’s real for that

6/10 also gives pudding cup guy

johnny:

either doesn’t have anything as an after school snack

#neglected

in all seriousness i feel so incredibly bad for johnny and his home life

OR he makes like a whole meal

no in between

like he’ll come home and just put together a whole sandwich, juice, apple, the whole thing

5/10 i’m sorry😭

sodapop:

just has a can of coke or smth

this is not a joke on his name but it does go very well with it

but i think he just THRIVES off caffeinated sodas

comes home and cracks open a dr pepper, pepsi, whatever

thats enough to fuel him thru the rest of the day

also when he’s had a bad day he’ll just sit in his and pony’s room in the dark and sip his soda ominously LMAOOO

8/10 my mom does this

darry:

yoghurt and granola typa guy

probably calls granola “cereal”

ily darry but this is unacceptable 🫶🥰

he def pressures pony and soda to have healthy snacks which pony listens to but soda…well we know what soda does💀

everyone makes fun of him for his taste but he gets so pressed so fast (trust me he’s mad at me already for writing this)

3/10🏃‍♀️💨

dally:

religiously has bowls of cereal

or just cigarettes yk

just sits in the dark and eats his lucky charms whilst contemplating everything annoying he !everyone else! did that day

thinks about how much homework he has and how hes not gonna do a lick of it

calls up friends asking them to share their answers to the spanish hw

and on the other side of the line they can just hear him munching away and just like “…what are you eating🧍‍♀️”

dal’s just like “the bones of your dead dreams now tell me what the fuck a conjugation is and how i do it”

9/10 y’all prob know im an intense cereal lover

two-bit:

gushers or fruit snacks typa thing

prob drinks kool-aid like it’s the water of life

he’s real for that to a degree

like sometimes too many ritz crackers is too much 😭

probably just eats packs after packs of fruit snacks

struggle meals all the way💀

8/10

steve:

just drinks a glass of milk or smth

straight from the carton

just a total scavenger of the pantry

so disrespectful💀

in general i think he steals all the gangs food as a joke

darry just bought some cookies from the grocery store and by the time he gets home from work they’re gone😭😭

4/10

ANYWAYS request hcs, imagines, anything! i do platonic and romantic y/ns too🫶

ILYSM‼️‼️

[crushedsweets]

WWHAT WUD THE CREEPS DO 4 HALLOWEEN I MUST KNOW

anon... yes i like this. general disclaimer this is tailored to my au !! stuff under cut

toby likes it, thinks its fun and stuff. he's not the type to dress up beyond like, maybe a jacket and a mask or whatever, but he'll go and buy(steal) stupid ass halloween decorations from spirit or the dollar store. there r several mini skeletons sitting around his cabin. he treats it like elf on the shelf, but. . . skeletons... def will sit around and watch scary movies with a bag of halloween candy . totally carves pumpkins with whoever will do it with him

tim wouldnt really want to do much cuz he's just tired, but he probably would put out a small little pumpkin and bowl of candy outside his door. he's in an apartment so he doesnt really get trick or treaters. will prob buy some candy after halloween so its on sale

brians so annoying omfg(lovingly) he'd buy a fake arm, blood, and wig and stick it in his trunk so it looks like an arm is sticking out. yall know what im talking about. him and tim share an apartment so he'd prob try to actually put something simple around it, like some plastic pumpkins, but nothing really big. he is also a grown man with no kids, so he doesnt find himself going all out for these things

natalie. ok i recently made it where she's either already a tattoo artist, or learning to be a tattoo artist or whatever, but i could see her and some coworkers setting up the shop all halloweeny. she's so fucking tall that they'd just call her over for all the spider web stuff. she thinks its fun and she likes halloween a lot so it's cool. she'd get a huge kick out of doing halloween tattoos during october too. goes and hangs out with toby/nina for it

nina goes to parties . she HAS to get a whole new costume for every party. its super wasteful but she doesnt care all that matters is shes sexy. every year without fail she is a sexy gothic vampire for one of the parties. she works at hot topic, BUT she'd absofuckinglutely get a second job at spirit halloween for october. she's a creepy galll... def sets her apartment up super cutely, brings toby and nat over so they can carve pumpkins with her, tries to dress them up, etc. tons of halloween posts on her social medias too LOL shes so cute

jeff would prob also go to more like... weirder ( ?) parties with creeps and scary people roaming around just doing crazy shit. warehouse shit. prob finds someone to bring home and kill. he thinks its fun, its easier to just go about his days looking the way he does, he loves scaring the fucking shit out of people. doesnt decorate or wear costumes though, says its cringe LMFAO. hates how hyped nina is about it

jane and mary would totally decorate, but in a much more.. ? elegant ? way. like those tall skinny candles, swap out their doormat for something halloween themed, really nicely done pumpkins for some reason. jane would want to host a cute little halloween dinner for uni friends. probably just gets simple costumes, like she'd put on a witch hat and black dress and thats all, but its cute. takes sally (and ben, if sally asks him to come) trick or treating.

sally draws tons of drawings, loves disney halloween marathons, paints on pumpkins(doesnt like the smell of gutting them), etc. she'd decorate with jane cuz she lives w her. she loves it so much but she still gets scared of the animatronic things at stores and stuff LOL. begs ben to trick or treat w her. really embarrassing for ben

ben wouldnt do much besides like. he'd get worse w his internet trolling (scaring the fucking shit out of teens on the internet), start doing more actual hauntings bc nobody will believe his victims during october which means slender wont find out he's doing it. he would not want to go trick or treating..but he'd go with sally with a pillow case and he'd try to awkwardly stand further back but the ppl at the door would always b like 'aw dont be shy come here!' LOL

jack doesnt celebrate it, his family didnt really celebrate it much when he was human so he doesnt do it now. he does get kinda sad during holiday season though, cuz of obvious reasons, but halloween isnt the strongest Pain for him

liu is so fucking miserable theres no way. jk he'd set out like, some pumpkins and maybe get one of those lights that project ghosts onto his garage, but he wouldnt want to go all out or do anything to the inside of his house. jeff really liked halloween when he was younger so its kinda like ouch but he's getting overit. i guess. . .

kate doesnt..celebrate anything........ but when she does occasionally visit the cabin, maybe for food or a shower, and she sees toby decorated, she'd be happy to see it. she's kinda unsettling to be around, but she'd sit down and watch a movie with him in silence. then bring a massive bag of candy to the mine w her w/o telling toby. he just had to cope

ann and lulu dont do anything in the hospital. they dont really have any concept of time........... or the resources to decorate... and they dont get any trick or treaters... cuz theyre...stuck in an abandoned hospital in the woods . . . yeah..

ty for ask anoni like this one. very simple but very sweet

[landos-meat-rider]

mastermind, part five

hey guys😀🔫

first of all im so sorry ik its been literally ten years since the last update but we're backk😋🙌🙌

anyways this used to be called redbone but im changing it to mastermind (the taylor song) bc i feel like it just fits more w the story but heres part five!!

its a short one for now but dw part six and seven are in the making and theyll probably be out later tonight or early tomorrow morning idk

anyways i hope you like this one please lmk and leave me some requests😋🤞

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

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“Good morning,” Harry says, smiling brightly as Hermione and I sit at the table.

“Morning,” we both reply in unison, Hermioen going to say something but is cut off when our attention darts to the old owl that all but crashes into our food on the table, sending bowls of cereal and plates of toast flying into the air.

“Ron! Get your owl in check!” I yell as Hermione magics away the spilt milk on my robes, leaving them brand new.

“Sorry, sorry. God this bird’s going to be the death of me.” Ron replies as he detaches the box in the owl's claws before shooing it away.

“What’s that?” Harry asks, pointing at the box curiously as Ron goes to open it and pulls out a long black robe with white ruffles at the collar.

“Mum’s sent me a dress!” Ron says in horror as he stares down at the old thing.

“Well, it does match your eyes. Is there a bonnet? Aha!” I shout through my laughter, pulling out a white collar with a black bow and holding it up at Ron’s neck.

“Oh shut up Y/N. You’re not funny.” Ron says dismissively as he walks over to Ginny and continues,

“Ginny here, these must be for you.”

“I’m not wearing that, it’s ghastly.” she says looking up at the dress in disgust.

Hermione lets out a fit of giggles as Harry and I smack each other, laughing at Ron, unable to control ourselves.

“What are you on about?” Ron asks confused.

“They’re not for Ginny, you idiot, they’re for you!” I shout as the Gryffindors around us join in on the laughter.

“They’re dress robes,” Hermione adds, calming down slightly.

“Dress robes, for what?” Ron responds with frustration in his voice.

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“The Yule Ball has been a Hogwarts tradition since its inception,” McGonagall’s voice booms in the large room filled with girls on one side and boys on the other. Hermione and I softly giggle as we make small quips about how uncomfortable Harry and Ron look, having to sit next to Theo and Draco.

“On Christmas Eve night, we gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity,” she says as she glides around the room, eyeing Harry and Draco as they make faces at each other, causing them to stop almost immediately.

“I expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward. And I mean this literally as the Yule Ball is, as you know, first and foremost, a dance,” she says, sending the girls into excited conversations and the boys into a sea of annoying groans.

“Silence!” she shouts over the noise, clapping her hands together over her head, “Our school has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for over 10 centuries. And I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.” she finishes, sending everyone into quiet laughter. I look up from my fixed gaze at McGonagall at Theo who snickers softly and looks at me before mouthing, “Try saying that five times fast.”

I smirk as I try whispering it as he does the same, before McGonagall walks over in front of us, breaking our gazes at each other. “Now, to dance,” she says, waving her arms around gracefully, turning to the girl's side, saying, “is to let the body breathe. Inside every girl, a secret swan slumbers…longing to burst forth and take flight.”

She turns to the boys, cutting off whatever snide remark Ron was making, “Inside every boy, a lordly lion prepared to prance. Mr Weasley.”

She walks over to Ron swiftly as he cowers slightly, looking immensely uncomfortable as she asks him to join her.

“...Yes?”

Harry looks over at Hermione and me and we smirk at Ron as McGonagall lectures him how to put his hands on her waist.

They dance for a minute before McGonagall calls everyone over and tells us to partner up, and Theo comes up to me with a hand behind his back. “Join me for this dance?” he says jokingly as he bows forward slightly and puts one hand out making me smile and reach out for his hand before I swiftly grab Harry’s from behind him and say, “Sorry maybe next time!” over my shoulder, sending him into laughter, shaking his head as Harry looks up at me quizzingly.

“Leaving him wanting more?” he smiles at me, “Yep, I learned from the best.” I joke, referencing the endless amounts of times Harry and Ginny have gotten close but have never made anything official.

He rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up.”

“Have you even asked her yet?” I ask as we sway to the music, “Not yet, I think I’ll do it tonight…if Ron doesn’t interrupt us again that is.”

“Don’t worry,” I say nodding my head over to the other side of the room where Ron and Hermione are trying to dance, “I think he’s got other things to worry about.”

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“We really need to get a move on, otherwise we’ll be the only ones without dates,” Ron whispers to Harry as we try and recreate the potion Slughorn’s just shown us.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he smiles to himself and focuses back on his potion, making me smile softly in return knowing he’s probably asked Ginny by now and she's said yes.

“What are you smiling about?” Theo asks, interrupting me from my thoughts as he adds fluxweed into our potion and looks at me confusingly. “No reason.” I smile up at him, noticing the ring I gave him on his finger.

“So,” I say, taking my seat as we wait for our potion to boil.

“So?” he replies, taking his seat next to me and resting the bottom side of his jaw in his hand with his elbow on the table, staring at me with his blue eyes.

“Yule Ball’s in a few days, have you found a date yet?”

“Mm no not yet. Why do you ask?” he smirks.

“Oh no, no reason.” I stutter, feeling embarrassed, as I try to distract myself with the brew in front of us.

“So your bruises have healed,” I say, reaching out and holding his face to the side to examine the area they used to be on top of his sharp cheekbone. “Mhm. All better now.” He smiles.

I sigh and say, “You shouldn’t have done that you know.” “Why not? I’d do it for Blaise or Pansy or even Draco, I’d do it for any of my friends, so why not you? Especially you.” he mutters the last bit silently but my ears catch it before it disappears, making blood rush to my ears and cheeks.

“A friendship between a Gryffindor and Slytherin is unheard of. Especially considering your family and my best friends, what makes you so confident in ours?”

“I don’t know. You’re…different,” he says, standing up, “You’re not like those other Gryffindors. They’re too proud.”

I laugh after him, gathering my own things as he goes to give Slughorn our finished potion, “You Slytherin lot aren’t all that humble anyways.”

“No Star, we just know our worth.” he winks back at me as he leaves and I notice something on his side of the desk. A little envelope with my name on it.

I open it to find,

“Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after curfew. Bring a jacket.”

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“You took your time,” Theo says as I walk up the stairs, holding two cups of hot chocolate for him and me.

“Shut up, I was bribing one of the elves to give me whipped cream in these this time.” I hold one of the drinks up to him to take it before he grabs both out my hands and puts them down on the floor,

“You shouldn’t have, we won’t need them.” He smiles mischievously before taking my hand and running down the large, empty corridors.

“Theo stop! Where are we going?!” I whisper yell out of surprise, grabbing his hand tighter as I run to keep up with him. “You’ll see!” He says over his shoulder, leading us out the castle and giving a few galleons to the prefect keeping watch at the door.

“Come on,” he says softly now, both of us panting from the run.

The cold wind hits me in the face and immediately sends a shiver up my spine, making me pull my jacket up slightly to cover my exposed neck.

Theo lets go of my hand and pulls his black, green and silver Slytherin scarf off and wraps the cloth around my neck, 

“Theo, will you stop being a prick and at least tell me where we’re going?”

He grabs my arm and links it in with his before saying, “We’re almost there.”

I look up at him as we walk in comfortable silence, the soft moonlight reflecting on his sharp features, his rosy cheeks and the cold vapour coming from his pink nose as he breathes and he turns to me giving me a big smile as he stops walking, turns me around and covers my eyes.

“Theo what now? You drag me out of the warm castle and make me freeze out here in the stupid snow and you didn’t even let me drink my hot chocolate and you won’t even tell me where we’re going and I’m probably going to get hypothermia at this point because of you.” I finish my rant as he turns me around, slowly removing his cold fingers from my eyes.

“Shut up and open your eyes, you drama queen.”

I can hear the smile in his voice as I open my eyes and see a big tree with a covering on top, looking like a den adorned in fairy lights and snowflake decorations. A red checkered picnic blanket resting on the ground along with my favourite pastries, hot chocolates and movies all set up on a projector facing the castle. Snowflakes all form one sentence above the movie projector screen playing Tangled, making my breath stop and a huge grin form on my lips.

Will you get tangled with me at the ball?

I turn around to find a flustered-looking Theodore with his hands in his pocket, nervously looking down at me waiting for my reaction. “You did this?” I ask with a quizzical smile on my face, still in disbelief that he went through all this effort for me.

“Yeah. Well I mean Blaise, Mattheo and Pansy helped me. Draco tried but he wasn’t any good so I got Pansy to instead. And I asked Hermione for all your favourite movies and I’ve seen you with all these pastries and hot chocolates a lot this time of year so I thought you’d like them. But I mean if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I can scrap it all and we can pretend like this never happened and-”

“Yes.” I interrupt his rant with a smile on my face, admiring his stress over whether I’d like the gesture or not.

“And I- Sorry?” He asks breaking his rant confusingly with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes, I love it and I’d love to go to the ball with you Theodore.”

“Oh, I- Okay well. Okay. That’s great, that’s…Wow.” He stutters out, surprised at my response.

Theodore Nott stuttering? Nervous? When did that happen? I think to myself as he composes himself again and asks, “Shall we?” pointing to the blanket and movie playing on the projector.

I nod, smiling brightly up at him as I give him a side hug. He tenses for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and hugging back tightly.

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part five done!!

lmk what you think and send me requests<33

taglist:

@harrysnovia @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @lilianelena39

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3

♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.

♡ W/C: 6,919

♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand. 

“Totally -  my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said. 

“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily. 

“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm 

“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off 

“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently. 

He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night. 

“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining 

“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.  

“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit. 

“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge. 

Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe 

“Where do you need me?” He asked her 

“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl. 

“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom. 

“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips. 

“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day. 

“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost. 

“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles 

“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 

“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.

“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain. 

Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes. 

“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks. 

“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained. 

Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later. 

“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna. 

“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile. 

“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them. 

“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit 

“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can. 

“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked. 

Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next. 

“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged. 

“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained 

“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat. 

“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. 

“What happened?” She asked

“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory. 

“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously. 

“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’  then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained. 

Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan. 

“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock. 

She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her. 

Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?

She’d thought to herself. 

But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever- 

“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before. 

“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around. 

“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big 

“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!” 

“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks. 

“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer. 

Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said 

Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking. 

“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter. 

Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said. 

“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire. 

“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table. 

“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them. 

“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin. 

“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch. 

“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her. 

Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy. 

“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say. 

“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks. 

Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid. 

“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods. 

“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows. 

“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so. 

“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd. 

They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said 

“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on” 

Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm. 

Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply. 

“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath. 

“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over. 

“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna. 

She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag. 

Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off. 

“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint. 

Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store. 

“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently  

“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath. 

“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd. 

“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously 

“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her. 

“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly

“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes. 

“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.  

It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt. 

That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter. 

Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly. 

“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan. 

Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room. 

“Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile. 

“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots. 

“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand. 

“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open. 

“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds 

“To?” Syd asked. 

“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.

“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table. 

“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away. 

“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna 

“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink. 

“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps 

“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said. 

Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves. 

“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table. 

“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed. 

Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her 

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge. 

“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo. 

“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar. 

“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.

 “ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer. 

“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously. 

“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing. 

“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up. 

“she’s-“ Carmen starts

“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her. 

“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her 

Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years. 

“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse. 

“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them. 

Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts 

“What does that mean?” He asked her 

“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion 

“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused. 

“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t. 

“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked 

“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.

 “Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions. 

“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement 

“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs. 

Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop. 

“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip. 

The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate. 

“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head. 

“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart. 

“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat. 

“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off 

“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes. 

Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes. 

“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync. 

“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up. 

“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement. 

“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall. 

“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.

Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well. 

“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard 

“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip. 

“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled 

“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow. 

He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room. 

“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna 

“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder. 

“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars. 

He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone. 

“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off. 

Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly. 

“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. 

“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over. 

“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach. 

“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near. 

“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves. 

“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly. 

Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question. 

Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“

Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly. 

Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear. 

“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day” 

“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned. 

The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.  

He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here. 

“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started 

“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly 

“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit. 

“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.

“I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his. 

They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said 

“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily. 

“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit. 

“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again. 

“Why do you think?” He asked quietly. 

“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper. 

“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft. 

“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked 

“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit. 

“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“ 

She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin. 

The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times. 

He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin. 

The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond. 

Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.  “T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[maze-of-my-design]

Y'know what fuck you. Hispanic Junpei propaganda on P3R day

His parents moved to Japan when he was young. His father is Latino while his mother is Japanese, and takes on her surname rather than his dad's due to him feeling ashamed about him (see: his social link)

I think I saw somewhere that he played guitar but I. Can't find anything on it so HC that he can play guitar pretty well and he plays songs in Spanish mostly. (I am so sad this isn't canon btw EDIT: HE DOES!!!!! ITS CANON and he deserve[s] to serenade Chidori*)

He listens to songs in Spanish, as well as English and (obviously) Japanese. I feel like he'd like reggaetón in the early stages of his character arc IM SORRY... He'd listen to other stuff once he grows out of that tho (around the time he stops making "Ladies Man" his Whole entire personality sry mi rey you were so annoying). He'd listen to Cuarteto de Nos or Miranda probably, maybe some old Spanish rock too like Soda Stereo or just random one-off popular songs. Even if he doesn't like his dad, his music taste is Fire

[* building off of the two HCs, he sings Spanish songs to Chidori at some point! He sings whatever song he thinks off and it unfortunately ends up being all the silly ones. Ataque de las chicas cocodrilo (hombres g) for example. Look it up it's so dumb <3 love it]

He can understand Spanish pretty well! He grew up speaking both languages, and know a tiny bit of English from watching American movies and music. He struggles a little writing Spanish tho since Japanese kanji and the Latin alphabet are Very Different and confuses the two at times. Ta bien rey tqm

He doesn't have a particular preference for a particular culture, and doesn't really care. He can eat a good pollo chuco and go to get a beef bowl at the mall no problem.

He doesn't talk about his heritage much though, since the topic never comes up in conversation and he doesn't think it's too relevant. Probably drops it in a dad way – random story in the middle of a conversation that shocks everyone in SEES and they're all like YOU HUH???? – and proceeds to tell more stories since he realises that "wait being mixed is COOL actually!?" Yes it is.

Also, stealing this from @mimikiwi77's post, he calls Yukari "Yuka-tan" BC of the Yucatan Peninsula that's all gn America have fun with your persona 3 reloads and your akeshuakes

[g1deonthen1nth]

Ranking TLT Characters by How Much I’d Like to Smoke With Them

in another installment of “posts literally no one wants” i will be breaking down which tombies id wanna smoke with the most and why, ranked from least to most want to smoke with them. I am not doing Everyone bc that wd kill me to death. i thought so much harder ab this than i meant to godbless

14. the second house. why wd i wanna smoke with fucking cops? NEXT!!

13. the eighth. why wd i wanna smoke with a creepy priest and his creepy cousin or uncle or whatever i forgot bc i do NOT care ab them

12. alecto. i just dont think she wd be able to get high which wd make the whole thing very awkward

11. nona. cd probably get high bc its a human body but i think she wd get paranoid. however if she cd handle it i think she wd be fun

10. john. if i wanted to get high with a pathetic old man i wd call my dad

9. the fifth. i think they wd a bring a fun and cool vibe but also they have very strong parent energy and i hate being high around my parents

8. ianthe. she wd be all “ohh yeah i know how to smoke i LOVE doing drugs im cool” and then she wd start coughing. but i also cough a lot so this cannot impact her ranking very much. i also just think she wd be annoying but in a fun way. wd not share her weed

7. corona. same as yanthe but more likely to share her weed bc of her liberalization. 

6. pal. philosophical high, kind of pretentious but i like him so i am kicking my feet and twirling my hair and telling him how smart he is. i never said it was an unbiased ranking. he wd invent a new religion

5. dulcinea. we barely know her however she has a stoner vibe to me i think she wd bring a fun lighthearted energy

4. pyrrah. used to be a cop and yall know where i stand on smoking with cops. HOWEVER that was 10,000 years ago i think she’d have a cool vibe. like a dad who smokes with u in shitty folding chairs in the backyard in summer yk like this is an afternoon high and its very chill

3. harrow. i just think it wd be very funny is all. i think she wd enter the stratosphere i think she wd be fried off one hit. i think she wd smoke a bowl on her own anyway to prove a point that does not exist and have an existential crisis.

2. cam. her ass wd roll the fattest, tightest joint. she cd hit a bong and not cough once. she is an icon. i cannot fathom how she wd act high. i wish i cd find out

1. gideon. honestly she just has the vibes of “my favorite guy at the smoke sesh” like she wd share her weed, she wd absolutely help u make a grav bong, and she wd be funny as hell. the one i can most easily imagine coming to the smoke sesh if she was real