#to fix it up in 1 k or more words' and the things I find to write about are things that. since they irritate me. are probably also unpleasan

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[otakubimbo]

Fake Love, Fake Rage

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!Reader

Contents: Yelling. Anger. Cussing. Mentions of fake dating. Angst. Mean Miguel. Miguel who can't talk about his feelings. Harassment. Unresolved argument.

You didn't think your life would turn out like this. What's the problem with a little white lie anyways? Miguel had a huge problem with that little lie.

Sticky Note: This is part 1 of 2, there will be a happy ending but let's get some angst in the meantime <3. Not proof read, if I missed any content warnings let me know. K. Thanks. Mwah.

Masterlist

Nothing could have prepared Miguel for the words that were going to come out of Jessica’s mouth that afternoon.

“So, you finally confessed to her, huh? About time.” Jessica says as she drops a stack of reports on his desk. He immediately looks up with an irritated confused grunt.

“What are you talking about?” He questions picking up the papers she just put down, turning his attention to that instead of her.

“You and Y/N are finally dating. It’s the word around the society.” She huffs, a smile painted on her face as Miguel's head snaps up and he stares at her wide-eyed.

“Que carajo? We are not dating. Who the hell is saying that?” He questions, eyes glowing red as his face heats up at the thought. Well yes, the two of you were close, as close as someone could be to Miguel, but dating? No, absolutely not. Of course, he’s thought about it. You had a genius that rivaled his own, you were beautiful, talented, competent, serious but funny. Miguel shook his head at the thoughts.

“Everyone’s saying that she said it. That’s why I thought you finally confessed your feelings for her.” Jessica shrugged casually, mildly amused at this.

“I do not have feelings for her.” He grumbles standing up from his desk to find you and ‘fix this’. Both Jessica and Lyla exchange looks at each other as he storms out of his own lab to yours, the one he personally built for you because he doesn’t have feelings for you. He absolutely has feelings for you.

As he makes his way to your lab, he can hear all the whispers of people about the two of you dating. Mostly people are shocked but can see it with the amount of time the two of you spend together and the things he does for you. There are some whispers about how you’re obviously too good for him and how he could ever convince you to date him with his personality. But he already knew that he already knew that you were too good for him. All of this just made him angrier as he neared your lab. You could feel him before you saw him, without the need for your spidey senses.

“Yes O’Hara?” You question, not even looking up from your task of working on a watch as Miles holds a light for you and Hobie is handing you tools. You, of course, could do these tasks by yourself but you enjoyed their company.

“Why the hell are you going around telling people we are dating?!” He barks at you; you still don’t lift your head from your work.

“Tone, O’Hara.” Is your response that makes his nostrils flair. He takes a deep breath; he knows your stubbornness will not allow you to communicate with him if he’s yelling at you. You made that very clear in the early stages of your ‘friendship’.  Miles looks back and forth between you and Miguel while Hobie looks amused as usual. You had already told Hobie the incident that brought upon Miguel being in your office right now and he told you Miguel would be pissed.

“Why are you lying to people saying we are dating?” He asked in a calmer tone which surprised Miles, he’s never heard him speak so calmly but of course, this was usually reserved for spaces when it was just the two of you.

“Ben Riley wouldn’t take no for an answer, so instead of making him lose his teeth I told him we were dating.” You say nonchalantly still not looking at him.

“So, are yall dating?” Miles quietly asks more to you than to Miguel.

“We are not. Now hold still so I can finish these modifications.” You respond shifting his hand back in place.

“You would be lucky mate to even fake date her. She is one of the most fit spider women around.” Hobie jokes which just makes you roll your eyes.

“Everyone out!” Miguel growls at Hobie and Miles, now you finally lift your head to scowl at him.

“This is MY lab, O’Hara. You can’t just command them out during the middle of my work.” You huff, eyes narrowed at him. You and Miguel glare at each other.

“Ooof” Hobie huffs as he stands up from the desk behind you, putting your tools back. “Let’s leave the lovers to quarrel alone, mate.”

Miles nervously puts your light down while Miguel glares at them as they leave the two of you alone. The two of them didn’t even get out of earshot before you started yelling at Miguel.

“You think we should of just left?” Miles asks, worried about you.

“Oi, yeah absolutely nothing worse than getting in-between a couple's fight.” Hobie says as he casually puts his hands in his pockets.

“But she said they weren’t dating.” Miles looks confused.

“Yet”

At this point, you were truly heated at what his problem was. He could simply just deny that you two were a couple, there was no need to storm into your lab when you were in the middle of working.

“Miguel, I’m seriously too busy to do this right now. If you want me to be able to go on any missions, I need to work on this.” You gesture at your exposed watch on your desk.

“You’re the one who’s going around telling everyone we are dating because you can’t just reject someone.” He snaps back, towering over you. You roll your eyes deciding to just ignore him and get back to your watch.

“I told you; he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and you’ve been clear about spider-on-spider violence.” You respond with a roll of your eyes, whispering how he’s a hypocrite for the whole Miles situation. Miguel aggressively rakes his fingers through his hair, eyes going a light red annoyed with your instance that you weren’t in the wrong.

“And now, I’ll be getting back to work.” You say now having to adjust your stuff since your help was told to get out.

“You do realize what people are saying right?!” He grunts as his hand slams on your workstation.

“If it’s really that bad for people to think we are dating then just simply tell everyone we aren’t. I really don’t care that much truthfully; I just said the first thing that came to mind.” You don’t even acknowledge his tantrum anymore, tools in hand going back to your watch.

“Seriously?” He asked, his tone is different than before, it sounded saddened? That makes you look up at him, and really look at him. His brows were furrowed, and his teeth were clenched but there was something in his eyes that you couldn’t understand.

“What’s actually wrong, Mig?” Your voice was soft, gentle, the voice you only used when he was in one of his moods which seems like right now.  Your eyes gazed upon him in worry and concern for him. He hated that. He hated seeing everything fade from around you, that all he could see was you. Your lips pressed together, plump and soft, your eyes shining at him as if he was the only important thing right then, the nickname you gave him falling off your lips making his pulse pick up. He almost let himself get caught in that until the voices of the other spiders played in his head, what Hobbie said played in his head, he was no where close good enough for you, he would never be. You deserve something better than the monster that he is. He breathes out curses in Spanish as he grows more frustrated with everything, mainly himself.

“Mig, you know I haven’t taken those Spanish classes yet. What is going on?” You ask even more gently than the last time, you could tell it was more than you pretending to date him. There was something else, something he wasn’t telling you.  “Talk to me, you know you always can.” You say when you don’t get a response from him.

You reach out to touch him, like you always do when he gets too into his own head.  He pulls back quickly, scowling at you.

“Have you ever thought about keeping me out of your shocking business? This stupid fake dating shit. And of course, people believe it because you’re always forcing yourself around me. I don’t want to be in any of your stupid drama, for shocks sake. Leave me out of your shit. Have you ever thought that shit was annoying? Because it is, it’s annoying and pointless. You’re here to do your job and that’s shocking it. ”  He spits at you and your eyes go wide.

 He’s never spoken to you like this before. Yeah, he had a temper and could even get frustrated with you but you thought maybe it was different between the two of you. The conversations you’ve had, all the time you’ve spent with just the two of you. You thought you were at the very least friends.  You could feel your eyes starting to burn, but you refused to cry, especially in front of him.  You grab your deconstructed watch and all your things in grabbing distance.

“Fuck you, Miguel” you say as you shove your way past him. He fucked up, he knew he did so he let you walk off. Hoping you could calm down enough to let him speak to you again, but he didn’t know when that would be. He saw the tears starting to form in your eyes when you pushed past him, he heard the crack in your voice, but he said nothing to stop you. No apology, no explanation, nothing.

When you left your lab, you went directly to Spider Byte, your watch wasn’t working currently since you took it apart and you just wanted to go home. You hadn’t started crying yet but she could see something was wrong when you walked up to her.

“Hey Margo, my watch is kind of out of commission right now. Can you get me home?” You ask breathy, your chest tight in an effort to keep your composure.

“Of course, girl but are you good?” she asks, concern written all over her face. You wave her off dismissively.

“Yeah, I just got some stuff to take care of at home. I’m good. I’m good.” You say through your gritted teeth, hoping she would drop it and she does, going into start to bring up your home universe.

“So, you and Miguel?” She questions, an eye looking up at you hoping this wasn’t your problem.

You take in a deep breath, “There’s definitely no me and Miguel, absolutely not. That was just a lie I came up with to get Riley off my case ya know.” You respond trying to keep your voice steady and reassuring.

“Yeah, yeah I get ya.” She replies, dropping that topic also as she pulls up a portal to your universe. “Thanks, Margo, I’ll catch you later.” You say stepping into the portable before she could even reply. And that was the last time anyone had seen you.

[fatherfigurefusion]

Danganronpa: Another Iteration (or a talent-shift AU for DRA)

Haruhiko Kobashikawa, Ultimate Surgeon

The protagonist, and 1/3 of the three "brain cells".

Comes from a family of field medics.

Ending up garnering lots of attention from the media for performing flawless surgeries at the age of five.

Would much draw attention away from the whole "medical prodigy" thing, but would lay down his life to save people (savior complex protag, my beloved).

Is a bit too into the anatomy parts of medical textbooks.

Mikako Kurokawa, Ultimate Pilot

Was groomed from a young age to be an unstoppable war machine.

Was told from a young age that "actions speak louder than words", resulting in her not talking much.

Doesn't really open up to anybody, not even her servant/adoptive brother.

People are often unnerved by the pale six-foot-one girl with noticeable muscles underneath her uniform, and rightfully so.

Yuki Maeda, Ultimate Exorcist

Has powers straight out of an isekai/shounen manga, and the underdog protagonist energy to match.

In spite of his title, Yuki actually specializes more in being a spiritual medium and summoning/communicating with the spirits themselves.

Is headmates with Utsuro, a far colder spirit in charge of the actual exorcisms, who finds just about any other activity "boring".

Has an awful and traumatic past that lead to both his attachment towards the dead and his alter.

Rei Mekaru, Ultimate Lucky Student

Primary trial saboteur.

Okay, I have two different prompts for a Lucky Student Rei.

First prompt, essentially Teruko Tawaki (right down to the backstory), but she doesn't need to get backstabbed for her to turn her back on others.

Second prompt: the Nagito-esque Rei I outlined here.

Either way, a total menace.

Teruya Otori, Ultimate Professor

One of Haruhiko's supports and 1/3 of the "brain cells".

Highly-intelligent and would drop tons of obscure trivia in a conversation, to the point that you would leave knowing a whole lot of stuff.

Father was the principal/dean of a K-12 school, and decided to hire his genius son to teach people.

He especially loves teaching grade-schoolers, but that kind of leaks into his interactions with his classmates (they all have at least one gold star/lollipop).

Akane Taira, Ultimate Merchant

Classic rags-to-riches backstory, with her going from a door-to-door saleswoman to a street vendor to the founder of a popular market chain.

Perfect customer service voice that she only ever lets go of when angry.

Seems docile and polite, but would punch a Karen.

Basically Akane, but even more girlboss.

Yamato Kisaragi, Ultimate Butler

Has a FuyuPeko-esque relationship with Mikako (minus the romance).

The Kisaragis have been working under the Kurokawas for generations to come.

Instead of Love Live! references, he makes Black Butler and Hayate the Combat Butler references in his dialogue.

Always seems to appear out of nowhere and know exactly what you want/need. Even Mikako is unnerved by this.

Kiyoka Maki, Ultimate Inventor

Specializes in creating weapons (primarily artillery).

Has the potential to make a nuclear bomb, but would rather spend all day doing typical teen girl stuff.

Greatly prefers fixing up old technology, rather than inventing new products.

Gets really dirty by the end of inventing stuff (blame her hyper-focus), and hates it.

Kinji Uehara, Ultimate Sniper

Was adopted by an Italian mercenary group, resulting in him becoming an assassin from a young age.

Is still highly-religious, believing that the lifestyle he has lived has condemned him to a life in hell.

Has a protective attitude towards children, has struck up a friendship with Teruya because of it.

Keeps a distance from the rest of his classmates, not wanting anyone to know the truth behind what he does.

Ayame Hatano, Ultimate Priestess

Can confidently lead sermons, but can barely handle herself in normal conversations.

Regularly goes on tangents regarding her religion, which can veer into some unnerving territory.

Is commonly seen as an upright maternal figure, which always throws people for a loop when they see how she really is.

Due to her talent, she is nowhere near the workaholic she is in canon, and she often encourages her classmates to take little breaks.

Tsurugi Kinjo, Ultimate Sprinter

Still has his strong sense of justice, but it isn't filtered through the black-and-white insanity of the police force. More like a shonen protagonist.

Would gladly sacrifice his life, if it means his peers would survive and/or be avenged. Who knows where that mentality would lead, when in a killing game?

Juu was a former Olympian, who Tsurugi looks up to and seeks to surpass.

Carries the burden of a promise made between him and his posthumous best friend.

Satsuki Iranami, Ultimate Police Officer

Haruhiko's other support, and 1/3 of the "brain cells".

Was born to a prestigious legal family, but was unable to live up to their standards, with Keisuke being the only one willing to give her a chance.

Is more of a Peralta-type cop, rather than a Santiago-type.

Probably owns a prop flag gun that says "GOTCHA!" or "BANG!".

Mitsuhiro "Mitchie" Higa, Ultimate Clown

Fandom's treatment of Mitch be like. /hj

Would have a more sanitized personality, for the sake of the kids.

Imagine Mitchie taking clowning as serious as canon!Mitch takes soccer.

Hates mimes and any other circus performances with a burning passion. Would start the clown uprising.

Kizuna Tomori, Ultimate Soccer Player

Would have a lot of issues with having a "gross" or "boyish" talent, thanks to Minako.

Would compensate for this with her hyper-girly personality.

Is highly competitive, and would do whatever it takes to win and get ahead in life.

Very Arei Nageishi-core.

Kakeru Yamaguchi, Ultimate Cheerleader

In contrast to the American-style cheerleader Kizuna is, Kakeru would be an oendan-leader.

Midori would be more athletic in this universe (although she still has her illness), and Kakeru cheers her at every event, like the good big brother that he is.

Big body = big lungs = loud shouts. Has a very hoarse and raspy voice outside of sporting events, because of it.

Is quiet to save up his voice for his cheers, and loves tea and cough drops.

Kanata Inori, Ultimate Lawyer

Her parents were murdered, when she was a baby, and she was taken in by the lawyer that prosecuted against and exposed the true murderer.

Her naturally polite and optimistic personality has made her the mascot of sorts for the Ando law firm.

Prime example of "A lawyer doesn't cry, until it's all over".

Could be considered an honorary member of the "brain cells", but she isn't a part of the polycule.

[cythiraeth]

Hello, how are you? 😁 May I please request "mornings with them" ficlets with Kokomi and Ayaka? (Gn!reader, pls)

slept tight? - i. e. mornings with genshin women

✧ ─ ⌑ pairing: gn!reader x ayaka, kokomi (separate)

✧ ─ ⌑ short summary: a description and an example of mornings with our lovely girls! how do they wake you up or behave after sleep? let's find out!

✧ ─ ⌑ about the work: lowercase, fluff, established relationships

✧ ─ ⌑ notes: hi anon, thank you so much for this request, it was a lot of fun to write and i hope that you will like it! i'm doing well recently and i'm definitely looking forward to any new requests if anyone comes up with them ;3 have a nice day!

✧ ─ ⌑ word count: 1 k in total

sangonimiya kokomi

most of the time she gets out of bed much earlier than you do, due to her work and the daily routine she usually follows. she kisses you on the forehead, covers you with a blanket if you have messed up the bedding in your sleep and quietly leaves the room, leaving you to get as much sleep as you need. but there are days when things are a little different!

the quiet rustle of silky fabric was the first sound to greet your ears in the morning. with your eyes closed, covered by a soft blanket, you mumbled uncertain words, still caught somewhere between dreams and reality. 

"'oh, i woke you? excuse me," kokomi's voice was sleepy and a little hoarse, but even with your eyes closed you could sense that she wasn't lying next to you in bed.

"wait, what time is it?" you lifted your head and blinked quickly to clear your blurred vision. kokomi had already gotten up from the bed and was in the middle of making up her part of your shared bed. her body was barely visible due to the lack of sunlight in the room, so it must have been early, but you could see the outline of her messy hair, a truly extraordinary sight considering her usually immaculate appearance. but in your eyes, in this state, she looked even more beautiful, more real and natural. 

she chuckled softly at your sleepy posture and covered her mouth with her hand, but she answered your question, "it's 6 am, as usual when i wake up".

"no, no, no, not today!" you laughed and crawled wobbly to her side of the bed. she was still standing close enough for you to grab her arm with your hand and pull her closer, "today is your day off, i won't let you out of bed until at least ten!" 

she fell onto the bed, almost on top of you as you both started to giggle, your arms tangled and all the bedding she had just fixed was a complete mess again. you really wanted her to rest more, as lately it seemed that she was overworking herself... being a divine priestess was certainly a demanding job, and even a person as qualified as kokomi deserved a few more hours of sleep from time to time! In this sequence of mornings that had been rather quick, with only a few kisses between the two of you, you just had to steal one that was slower and more tender. 

you held her close to your chest, stroking her hair and untangling it with your fingers. although she was a little hesitant at first, she soon realised that this way of starting her day could be much better and more pleasant than she could have expected. the chirping of the birds outside the window, accompanied by your soft breathing and your gentle touch, made her loosen up and close her eyes.

she wrapped her arms around you and nestled her face against your neck as you planted a kiss on the top of her head, her soft hair touching your lips. 

"maybe you were right this time," she murmured into your neck with a smile, "this has made my morning much better.”

kamisato ayaka

ayaka is also usually the first to wake up but unlike kokomi, she loves to wake you up herself! she loves the thought of being the first and the last thing you see throughout the day. sometimes when she's in a more playful mood she'll pull your blanket and tease you a little, sometimes she'll slowly kiss your neck and peck your jaw before reaching your lips, sometimes you'll be woken by a tempting smell of breakfast she's got from thoma. you never know!

"good morning, my love," ayaka whispered into your ear as she hovered over you. her blue, loose hair fell down on either side of her head, tickling your cheeks. a lovely smile that adorned her lips made you smile too, unconsciously, even if you only opened your eyes. 

"mornin-" you couldn't finish because of the yawn that escaped your lips. ayaka chuckled at the sound and put her hand lightly on your lips until you stopped yawning. 

"i've let you sleep a little longer today, my sleeper," she said, shifting her position to lay on her side next to you, "but it's time to wake up," she added in a softer voice, reaching out with her warm hand to stroke your cheek. 

you closed your eyes again, enjoying her gentle touch. you were still not fully awake, so you barely understood what she was saying, but just hearing her voice was enough to make you feel relaxed. her actions did not quite fulfil their original purpose of waking you up, but they had the opposite effect. her voice was so calming, how could you not want to fall asleep again in her arms?

"hey! you're not sleeping, are you?" she asked after noticing that you had drifted away a little too far, resting her chin on her hand to get a better view of you. you just smiled, not opening your eyes, but quickly wrapping your arms around her chest and pulling her closer to you, locking her in a tight embrace. 

"oh no, we definitely are sleeping," you mumbled, curling up and moving your head closer to her neck, taking in the scent of shampoo that was all over her hair. she sighed softly, not in annoyance but more in something like amusement. maybe she had planned this all along? you didn't really waste your time with that thought, because what was more important was that she finally stopped resisting and returned the hug.

"okay, but just a few more minutes..." she giggled as you subtly brushed your lips against her skin, catching it several times with your teeth before properly kissing her neck "be careful not to leave any marks there, please," she whispered in response to your more eager kisses, but you weren't sure if this was a request that could be granted...

⌞⌑ cythiraeth - 31.08.2023. please, do not copy, claim as yours or share outside tumblr! ⌑⌝

[fallout4-reacts]

k-peasants asked: An actual prompt this time! I know you're busy and have plenty of things to write yet, take your time. Soo I was thinking that maybe companions (and Maxson) horribly failing at confessing to Sole. Like for example they could clear out some Raiders, companion is impressed, tries to confess BAM Sole gets fucking decked by random raider they didn't kill. I feel like you could get pretty creative with that one. Like deathclaws, something exploding, just settlers running in, other companions interrupting etc.

Let's play some game... (Warning : Curie may be intense)

Part 5

Cait / Codsworth / Curie / Dogmeat / Maxson

(Part 1 : Danse, Deacon, Nick Valentine)

(Part 2 : Hancock, Preston, Strong)

(Part 3 : X6-88 alone because of a bug)

(Part 4 : Gage, MacCready, Piper)

Cait : Cait and Sole return quietly to Sanctuary. The path ahead of them is still long, but for the time being, silence is fine. Well, not for very long. After everything that has happened, the fighter remains silent mostly because she is at a loss for words.

It was a shock to discover all of her senses after hiding from reality with Psycho for so long. However, she is currently experiencing one of her most agonizing torments.

Her feelings toward Sole.

It's made even worse by what they just did for her.

Finally, approaching Oberland Station, she urged a stop.

"Pee?" inquires Sole mockingly.

"Talking," Cait says, feeling uneasy.

They notify a nearby tree stump and settle there.

"What do you need to talk about?" inquires the vault dweller.

Cait watches the Charles flows down below, looking for her words.

"You are aware of all that has occurred since Tommy. And right there, you've changed my life. That is a lot."

Sole is worried, but quickly gets back their empathetic look.

"If you want to step back..."

Cait instantly raises her hand and places it on their shoulder.

"No! No, it is not that."

Sole throws themself on the young woman, causing them to fall backwards behind the tree trunk. Cait has a fleeting thought that something is happening far more unexpectedly than she had anticipated. But her thoughts are swiftly brought back to reality when the grenade explodes where they were.

"Gunner?" she inquired.

"Raider!"

As she stood up, the warrior smiled with all of her teeth, holding her baseball bat.

Codsworth : His programming doesn't include it. His programming doesn't include it. In his code, it is not included; he is well aware of the fact that it is not included in his programming.

Not to mention feelings of isolation, agony, and dread, as well as the happiness of seeing his master/mistress come back.

He is a robot, a straightforward bot that was programmed to perform chores around the house. He became an integral part of Sole's day-to-day activities and routines.

Not just as a robot.

As a friend, as a member of the family, and as a close relative.

Far too close.

Yes, it is too close.

As he hands the towel to Sole as they emerge from the shower, he looks aside. This is not something that is programmed into his algorithm. It is not something that he does habitually. In any case, it wasn't. It's mainly now due to the fact that he had never experienced this sort of static that now grabs him whenever Sole touches him or leans in front of him to collect an instrument or a tool, and it is a thousand times worse when Sole undresses. Because he is a domestic robot, then Sole never felt embarrassed by Codsworth's presence.

Today, however, Codsworth is feeling ashamed.

He feels so awful.

He has to explain it to Sole.

With the help of Sole, perhaps they will be able to fix this programming issue and restore it to its previous state.

Normal.

This is not the kind of feeling that he was designed to receive!

"Mom/Sir, would you mind if we opted to have a conversation?"

As soon as Sole reaches for the towel, they drape it around their waist.

"Yes, indeed, Cods, guy. What is the problem here? There is a decreasing supply of Radstag? Would you like me to find some sugar? Is the Assaultron I brought from the hills still making fun of you?"

The Mister Handy's accessories turns three times around him. He adopts a collected tone of voice and makes an effort to ease the peculiar vibrating that his machinery is experiencing.

"In all honesty, none of that is accurate."

This time, the human is unable to stand any longer. They sense that their robot exhibits some abnormal behavior. A pair of pants and a t-shirt are chosen at random by them, and they swiftly put on the trousers.

As they sit on their mattress, Sole lets out a sigh.

“So, I get that this is a very sensitive thing.”

"Very sensitive, to say the least. I am aware that it may come off as unconventional, absurd, or even unpleasant, but it appears that... I have developed a certain... as one may say, some instinct that typically corresponds to humans."

Sole raise an eyebrow once more.

"Typical to humans? Describe it."

At this point, Codsworth musters up all his bravery and takes a deep breath. In doing so, he sits down on the bed next to Sole in the same manner as a typical person would sit down. The one and only issue is that he may have forgets that he is a Mister Handy. Consequently, the bed in question happens to catch fire, Sole still be sitting on it.

They leap on their feet as the fire has quickly spread to them, and they cry out in pain throughout the process. As Codsworth's anxiety levels rise, he makes a mad dash to find a bucket of water at the pace of his truster. By doing so, he arrives at the conclusion that viewing himself as a human being is extremely risky, and that it would be more prudent for him to initiate a defragmentation of his personality module before it progresses to an excessive degree.

Curie : For a while now, the synth has noticed the difference. She understands that having a human body provides her with not only abilities to better explore the world around her, but also the opportunity to explore a complete intrinsic world in the same way.

Some sentiments and emotions.

And out of emotion, she realized she had a tremendous feeling for Sole.

This exploration was everything but subtle. She even felt upset at her friend, initially unable to comprehend why her thoughts kept returning to them.

Curie realized that she had romantic feelings for Sole. The trouble with this delicate circumstance is that Sole is the only person with whom she feels safe discussing her heart's torments. So, the only way out of this dilemma is to confront them and disclose everything.

Curie is still anxious.

And she is completely unaware that this is normal.

She coughs to catch the attention of her companion, who is working with Clem to erect a retaining beam to keep an artificial ceiling over the cave containing Vault 88.

"I can talk to you?" she asks timidly.

Sole rests their shoulder against the massive iron and rubber framework, wiping their brow.

"Is it critical?" they asked her, beckoning Clem to assist them.

"I believe so. It's quite significant.

Sole sighed. Curie believes that now is not the moment, but she fears that she will lose her mind if she doesn't speak. She sighs lightly.

"I understand you are busy…"

"A little, yes," replies her friend. However, their tone has softened significantly. "Curie, you appear to be dealing with a personal issue. If it seems vital to you, speak out. You know I'm always there for you."

Clem looks at the synth and seems to believe that this is the worst moment of the existence for a small talk. But the young man would never dare to oppose Sole, so he attempts to assist them maintain the pillar.

"Here it is. For some time now, I've been experiencing a peculiar storm inside of me, which is causing me to lose control. And you. I think about you all the time. I can't stop. I can't comprehend. I understand, but..."

Curie pauses and quickly looks up at Sole. Her companion has shifted their expression. Their gaze appears even more compassionate than before. They place one hand on the massive pillar to keep it in place and clear their throat.

"If I understand what you're saying—

"The ceiling!" Clem wails simultaneously, springing back.

Sole looks up at the pillar, and Curie's brain detects an unexpected alteration in their face. From affection to fear, the synth barely has time to understand what happens when a massive rock detaches from the ceiling and falls squarely on Sole.

She is so shocked that she can no longer hear Clem's screams of horror.

Dogmeat : "Wouf! Wouf wouf wouf wouf!"

"What?"

"Wouf!"

"Oh, I love you too, my too cute puppy!"

Elder Maxson : It's an unusual idea, but not an unpleasant one. Anyway, Sole has a lot of odd, but successful, ideas.

Maxson enjoys this short walk along the edge of Nordhagen Beach. His Knight urged that Maxson attend the meeting with the settlers' delegate. They had a difficult negotiation, but the BoS is now confident of a steady supply for the remainder of their tenure in the Commonwealth.

Then night fell as they respectfully celebrated alongside the locals.

Then, with the moon high in the sky, Sole insisted on having this little walk.

Maxson finds the trek pleasant... romantic?

He glances toward Danse, who is patrolling the area to ensure that the moment is not squandered, and then turns to his subordinate, who has stopped while perceiving his expression.

"Is something wrong, Elder?"

"On the opposite, or it depends."

Sole didn't appear to be reassured by the answer. The commander clears his throat and attempts a benign grin.

"I reflected on this atmosphere, landscape, and moment. Everything is just perfect."

'Perfect, indeed,' says Sole, distractedly.

Maxson insists, "In perfect company."

The Minutemen General's gaze is once again drawn to their superior. They appear to hesitate before smiling slightly but say nothing.

"What I mean—

"I understand what you mean. I'd have to be stupid, deaf, or blind to miss what you mean."

Arthur frowns. Sole's tone is not hostile, yet their response is uncommon.

"Do I understand that my feelings for you are not shared?"

"Oh, I apologize. It was rude of me. I must have become a little wild while wandering this land, mostly alone. I'm sorry for offending you."

Maxson grabs Sole's hand in his.

“So if I said to you—

"The code of conduct prohibits fraternization between superiors and subordinates," Danse's voice abruptly cut him off.

Maxson almost curses the man beneath his beard, but he stands straight with dignity and strives to maintain his demeanor.

"—that I am very pleased with the conclusion of this transaction and that it is now time to return to the Prydwen?"

When Sole gets their hand back, they can't help but smile faintly. They exchange a glance with Danse.

Maxson then understands.

He curses himself.

[ayelbee]

hey! can i request a fic where kylian is engaged to his actress + model gf (reader) and one night out with all of their friends, the gf finds out that kylian had dated model imaan hammam (reader's competition / enemy) which makes the gf feel insecure, assumes the worst of their current relationship and end the engagement which leaves a desperate kylian trying to run around to try and fix the relationship

thanks in advance if you take this up! (:

BROKEN | K. MBAPPÉ | ONE SHOT

Summary: request

TW: a few course words, low self-esteem of a reader, mentions of toxic relationship, the reader being emotional mess

Notes: 1. thank you for the request<3 2. This is the longest thing i have ever written in english, so once again i am sorry for my grammar mistakes... i am not really sure about my writing skills when it comes to low self-esteem, so read this on your own risk.

------------

Being insecure was one of the things you hated the most about yourself. You knew where did that come from and that was also the reason why you hated that so much.

You were a student when you got your first role, it wasn't even a big one and due to that you never knew how much blow-up you will. But you did, there was no way you were staying at school but there was also no way that you would handle this without a manager. You were young and naive so you signed up a contract with the first agent that gave you an offer. You signed up a contract with Thomas.

Thomas was just a few years older than you, he was handsome and very likable. But most importantly he knew how this industry worked. Everyone loved him and after a few months of working with him, you loved him too.

He was your first real love, at least you thought that back then.

After a few months of dating him, he turned into a different person. His manager side of personality kicked in.

He started telling you how you could become a model since you have already done some shots for a few magazines. But he told you that you could do runways, be in Vogue and become a face of these luxury brands.

Just if you could lose some weight

die your hair

change your style

stop wearing glasses

and this list could continue...

And because the little girl in you believed him, you did all of the things he wanted. And after another few months, you were a whole new person. You were in more and more magazines, but you lost yourself on the way there. You didn't even like the person in a mirror that you became.

After all you didn't know who you were and he didn't really care. Because all he cared for was the money he made from you and he wasn't even trying to make things look like he cared about you. But love is blind and you really loved him.

You loved him until you saw him with another girl, with a real model, in YOUR apartment, in YOUR OWN bed.

You found out that he was seeing her since the second month that you two have been dating. Every time you had work away, where he couldn't go because of his "other clients" he was with her. He was taking her on these expensive trips, that he paid with YOUR money and she knew it.

So that was the story that fucked your trust and your mental health but mostly it broke your heart.

Then you met Kylian. A sweet, loving, caring french guy that showed you how real love really looked. He repaired your heart. Heart, that he didn't break. He showed you how to love yourself, and he helped you to find yourself again. Because he truly loved you.

He gave you a fairytale that you have dreamed of since you were a child. And now, two and half years later since you met him you were engaged. Some people would tell you that you were too young for an engagement and that you didn't even know each other that well. But those speeches were lies. Because you and Kylian knew that you two belong with each other. You won't find another two people on Earth that are meant to be together as much as you two are.

------------

"Kylian" you called for your fiancee as you were looking inside your closet.

"What Cheri." his head appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face.

"I don't know what to wear." you complained. You were going out with Achraf and Hiba tonight. "Help me." you looked at him with a desperate face. Kylian just laughed coming closer to you as he wrapped his hand around your waist.

"Let me take a look." now he slightly pushed you away as he started searching in your closet. "Pants or dress?"

"I don't know." you hummed into his back.

"Okay, I've got an idea." he stepped back as he placed a black mini skirt on your hands. He turned around and went straight to his closet where he started to search for something, after a few seconds he was back with his shirt. "And you do your magic now." he smirked.

------------

"Here are our love birds," Hiba said as you two reached the table in your favorite restaurant. You greeted the other pair with a hug and a few words.

"I hope that you didn't wait for us too long. But Kylian called the uber too late." both of them laughed, while Kylian gave you disapproving look.

"Well I would call it sooner if you didn't need my help." he was playing offended now.

"I needed you like for three seconds so shus." you placed a kiss on his cheek. That always worked since he was such a sucker for you.

------------

Two glasses of wine later you were watching Hiba's phone as she was showing you some pictures of their kids. You took your eyes off the phone screen for a moment to look at Kylian. He seemed to sense your gaze and looked into your eyes. You smiled because all you could think about at that moment was how one day you'd have kids together. Then you looked back at Hiba, who saw the nonverbal exchange between the two of you.

She wanted to say something but a strange voice interrupted her.

"Kylian!" a high voice came from behind Kylian, you looked in her direction. Recognizing Imaan Hammam. Your jaw almost dropped, but you didn't let anything show, staying calm from the outside.

"Imaan." he turned to stand up as he hugged her. You furrowed your brows together. His hand found yours when he sat back. Making you even more confused. "This is Y/n, my fiancee." he introduce you as you politely smiled. Which wasn't really the thing you wanted to do. After that you looked at the other couple, both of their faces were covered up in weird expressions. Something you didn't understand.

"Y/n. I'm a huge fan of yours!" she exclaimed happily. "Ever since you two became official i wanted to ask Kylian if he could introduce us, but in the end, i thought that you won't want to meet his ex." she laughed. Now your jaw dropped. Did you understand her right? Kylian squeezed your hand, while on the other hand, you loosened your grip. Hiba uncomfortably shuddered while Achraf tensed. All of a sudden you wanted to disappear. Imman was looking like she was waiting on your response, but you didn't say anything. "Will you be at the world cup Y/n?"

"Yeah, I am coming with Kylian." you awkwardly responed.

"Of course you are." she laughed again. She was probably just trying to be nice to you. But that was the last thing you were feeling. "Then maybe we could meet up there." she placed her hand on Kylian's shoulder, making you tense. You saw how Hiba squeezed Achraf's wrist, probably trying to tell him to say something.

"You are coming?" Achraf spoke to her.

"Yeah! I'm gonna be there cheering for the Marocan team to win." was she actually doing something more than just laughing? Where was her energy coming from? "Anyway guys, I'm seeing my friend over there, so I will leave you all. Enjoy your night!" she explained. You didn't even have time to breathe in and she was already gone.

"So I think that we will pay?" Hiba spoke, but you stayed silent.

------------

"Y/n." Kylian placed his hand on your tight in the car, trying to start the conversation after the unpleasant turn of the evening. You didn't respond, you just turned up the radio. You knew that you will need to talk about this later, but you didn't feel like talking about it now.

There were reasons why you were silent. Why you felt so sad, disappointed, and broken at the moment.

You were honest with Kylian from the start. He knew everything and till today you felt like you have known everything too. He knew about your relationships and you knew all about his relationships. But he had never mentioned Imman.

Never.

Why? You didn't know.

You were sure that she was an amazing and nice person, but you hated her. Because she was perfect. She was everything you weren't and why did it bother you so much? Because people were comparing the two of you all the time, always making you worse.

Everything started in 2019. That year was hell for your personal life, but also the peak of your career life. You made three movies, a few runway walks, and your first cover for Vogue that year.

First cover of Vogue was supposed to be something that will end up in your memory as a happy thing, but it didn't. Instead, it ended up as a trauma.

You were on the July cover in the UK, that same month was Imman on the cover of Italian Vogue and that was the problem. That was the moment when people started comparing you to her. Till today you remember that one tabloid, that started everything.

The whole tabloid was about how awful a person you are, who clearly doesn't belong to a fashion magazine, let alone on the runway. While on the other side why is Imman the best person in the world.

This article spread everywhere. Twitter was full of it, and your Instagram was full of it too. It was everywhere and you hated that.

The worst part was that this wave continued.

Beautiful Imman Hamman and Y/n who looks like she came straight from rehab just arrived at the British fashion awards just few minutes apart!!

Imman Hamman rocks the runway as Y/n sits in the publicum like a little fan

Why would you be fan of Y/n when you can be fan of Supermodel and activist Imaan Hammam

There were thousands of tabloids like this. But you ignored all of them since you started to date Kylian. But today when you found out about her history with Kylian, you blamed yourself for ignoring them.

------------

You went straight to bed after you arrived home. Your head was still full of Imman. All you wanted to do now was to go to sleep, but this wasn't in Kylian's plan.

"Mon Cheri talk to me please" Kylian sat on the bed next to you. His hand tried to find yours, but you didn't let him touch you. "just don't be silent. I am sorry that i didn't tell you about her, but it wasn't anything serious and she actually didn't mean anything to me." he was looking into your eyes, guilt visible on his face.

Kylian regrets not telling you about her. But he was serious when he told you that she didn't mean anything to him. Ever since he met you you were the only one who mattered. He would also say that he forgot about Imman. Because in his eyes, she was no one, but you were everything.

"Why did you lie to me?" you wanted to cry. You felt like all of the confidence you built in this relationship was gone that moment when Imman spoke.

"I didn't lie Y/n", I would never lie to you." now he took your hands. Starting to draw circles on your palms as he was trying to calm you down. Kylian knows everything about you. He knows how you react, he knows how you feel. He knows every single detail about you. And in this moment he saw how upset and disappointed you were in him.

"But you never mentioned her. While i told you about every man in my life.." you weren't a noisy person. Even when you were angry you never shouted. You hated aggression, and you hated fights so you've always tried to avoid these things. So even now when you wanted to scream into Kylian's face, you did nothing.

"Do you know why I didn't say anything to you, Y/N,¨? Because I'm not blind, because I've seen how they compared the two of you everywhere, making you out to be the worst thing in the world while you're the best thing in the world. Because when I met you you didn't believe in yourself, because you believed those articles and I knew if I mentioned it you'd run away from me, you wouldn't believe that I only wanted you, that I really loved you. I knew that you'd think I was lying to you while I was cheating on you with her somewhere. But it was never like that. Because right from the start, all I saw was you and no one else. And by the time you had built up your confidence and trust for me, I had forgotten about her. That's why I have never mentioned her."

"Let's go sleep." you answerd in a low tone. Kylian smiled a little. He lay down next to you, his arms wrapped around your body. You relaxed your head on the pillow as you closed your eyes.

------------

You weren't asleep. Your head couldn't stop thinking. Imman kept coming up in your mind over and over again. Her perfect body, perfect skin. The way she cared about others. How she does everything she can to make the world a better place. She fights for the weak, she fights for the sick, and she would fight for Kylian.

You could have tried your best, but you would never have been as perfect as her. You could give yourself away, but you still wouldn't give as much to the world as she did.

After you heard Kylian's calm breathing, confirming that he had fallen asleep, you slowly crept out of his embrace and moved to the bathroom with your phone. You opened your Instagram as you sat on the bathroom floor.

You just started doing something you've been forbidding yourself for the last two years. But suddenly you just had to, you know that your brain won't stop until you do it.

You started scrolling thru the comments on your latest post. There were thousands of positive comments, but your brain was able to read just the negative ones. Your heart was breaking with every hate comment. You had a lot of, not more than the positive ones, but your head didn't care

Suddenly, you found yourself stuck in a cycle where time didn't exist and you kept scrolling despite how tired you were. It wasn't just your pictures any more, it was your pictures with Kylian. Now it was also the comments under Kylian's personal posts. You don't know how it happened but suddenly you weren't on instagram anymore but you were reading one critical article after another about yourself

Your cheeks were wet with tears, your hands were shaking and it was hard to breathe now. You stopped. Frustration was vibrating thru your body. You didn't know what to the. The words started to get blurry and seconds later you were throwing your phone across the room. Phone with a bang landed right next to the sink.

And that's when it hit you. Kylian could wake up at any moment. Find out what a wreck you are, and he'd leave before the sun came up. You couldn't let it this way.

You quickly stood up making your way to the sink, where you rinsed your face with cold water. You saw a concealer on the counter so you grabbed it trying to smooth out your puffy eyes. After that, you made your way back to the bedroom where you went back to pretending that you were sleeping. Kylian's hands once again found your waist as he pulled you closer.

At that moment you made your decision, you will became better and if not, you will leave Kylian for his own good, because he deserves way better than you.

------------

Kylian woke up a few hours later, he though that you were still sleeping so he left without a word for training. But he didn't know you were up all night.

The moment you heard the front door slam, you rolled out of bed. Making your straight way to the storage room, where you grabbed one of the luggage, after that, you started to fill it up with clothes and the most important things you knew you needed.

You weren't packing everything, because there was still lite hope in you that you will change for Kylian and that you will come back.

24 hours ago you wouldn't do this, but now you were brainwashed after all the hours on the bathroom floor with your phone in your hands. You weren't thinking irationally, but now you didn't care. Before you left with one luggage and a giant bag you sat in the kitchen taking paper with a pen as you started writing a quick note for Kylian.

Kylian I don't deserve you, I've spent the last two years pretending I deserve you, but I don't. You deserve someone you don't have to be ashamed of, someone who's on the same level as you, and that's not me. I'm not leaving yet, I am just taking some time for myself so I can become better for you. I'm gonna try my hardest to be the one you deserve me to be. And If I am gonna fail, I am gonna completely leave your life. I'm leaving because I love you, so please don't be angry at me.

You looked at your left hand, seeing there the engagement ring that Kylian gave you. You were always running from problems as soon as they shoved up. But this time you wanted to come back and you needed motivation for it. So you took the ring off your finger and placed it next to the paper.

"I am gonna come back for you babe." you take last look around the room and you left.

Every single memory on you and Kylian flooded thru your head as you were leaving the building. All of the happy memories you shared in this flat. All of the things you were currently leaving behind, but you doing it for him, for your future together.

------------

Kylian came home exhausted, the only thing he currently wanted was you in his hug. He wanted that even more after the not-nice ending of yesterday's dinner. You were the one who could calm Kylian down after everything, that's why he knew how important you were to him.

He called your name, but you didn't answer. Normally you would run to him. to be the one who will start the hug. But you didn't come. Kylian furrowed his eyebrows. He was confused.

He went to the living room, but you weren't there, you weren't even in the bedroom. So where were you? Did you forget to mention to him that you had plans today? He was taking out his phone from his pocket as he reached the kitchen, where he saw something that confused him even more.

He fastly reached the table. Your ring was sitting on a small piece of paper. He grabbed it and started reading fast. With every new word he was getting more and more confused, his frustration growing only more.

Kylian was angry. He wanted to scream. What happened in your head? Why were you acting like a stupid person. Kylian started running around the apartment with fear in his eyes., only now noticing how much of your stuff was gone. This must have been a stupid joke. You have must gone crazy. He was trying to call you, but his phone was saying that your number didn't exist.

After another crazy minute, Kylian realized that you were being serious. He panicked. He didn't even notice that he started crying when he started reading your note and now his sobs were getting louder and louder.

He called Achraf, needing him now. After Achraf heard Kylian voice he knew that something was wrong. Kylian was panicking, making Achraf go as fast as possible to his place.

There he found him crying in the middle of room, which was covered in the shards from the vase Kylian angrily threw at the wall.

Kylian knew from the start how self-conscious you were. That's why he never bring Imman up. He knew how broken you were from your previous relationship, but he never thought about you getting back to this old mindset where you were nothing. Because that was the biggest lie, you have ever believed in.

You were every men's dream. You were the best thing Kylian ever had. He's never known anyone as caring, as supportive as you. You always wanted the best for other people, making you forget about yourself. You loved Kylian so much, you loved his family and they have loved you. You were the most beautiful person on the planet. You could make him smile every time. You were the one.

But now you were gone because that one man broke you. He made you believe that you weren't enough, that you were less than the others. Which was the biggest lie in the world.

Kylian hated that man, even though he never met him. If he could kill, he would kill him for breaking you. You didn't deserve this. Anyone who deserved your love should have been looking out for you. Everyone should be bringing you gold from heaven, but this asshole still dared to destroy you.

You didn't deserve anything from this and Kylian needed to make things right again, but how could he when he didn't know where you were.

------------

"Calm down, we will make this right." Achraf sighed after Kylian finished explaining what happened. Kylian just put his head into his hands. He didn't know if he was angry or sad. But he was definitely traumatized. "I'm gonna call Hiba, to find out were Y/n is. Okay?" he placed his hand on Kylian shoulder. Kylian sobbed.

He thought that he calmed you down yesterday. That the two of were okay. He hated himself for not kissing you in the morning before he left for training. He was thinking about everything he could have done for you to not leave him. But he didn't so now it was just his fault. It took Achraf a few minutes to quickly explain the situation to his wife

------------

Hiba didn't waste a second calling you as soon as her call with Achraf ended. She knew that you were smart enough to find out why she was trying to find your address. So she chose a different way to approach you.

"Hiba?" you asked hesitantly. It occurred to you that Kylian might call you from the other side, but on the other hand, it would be Achraf rather than her, so you decided to take the call.

"Y/n." Hiba tried to sound like everything was normal. "Achraf called me that they are stuck at the training for a few more hours so I thought that we could go for an early dinner together. We didn't have enough time to catch up yesterday." Hiba tried to be careful, to not scare you.

You were silent for a few seconds. Your brain was trying to find the right answer.

"Well I would love to go, but i am not really in the mood for going out." you almost didn't lie.

"Oh that's fine, we can just order a takeaway to our place." Hiba didn't want to take no for an answer.

"I don't think that Achraf would want me at your place when he's gonna come back tired from the training." problem was that you weren't planning on agreeing.

"He's gonna get home late, he's going out with his brother after the training." Hiba was telling big lies. In the end, you had no choice but to agree, unless you wanted Hiba to see that something was wrong.

She told you that she will be expecting you in two hours time. After the phone ended up you buried your head in the pillow and wished for your death.

Hiba immediately called Achraf to tell him you'd be at their house in two hours. She instructed Kylian to come with Achraf, promising that everything will be right.

------------

Kylian was nervously pacing around the living room. His palms were sweating as he was waiting on your arrival. On the way here he bought you the biggest bouquet of peonies he has ever seen, the ring was in his pocket as he needed to put it back on your finger tonight. Achraf was in the kid's room hiding, while Hiba was waiting in the kitchen.

She was supposed to open the doors for you and bring you to the living room, where Kylian would start talking.

When Kylian heard the knock on the front door. His body tensed up, praying for your forgiveness. He also heard your voice as you greeted Hiba. He wanted to rush into the hallway to hug you, maybe even to scream at you for your behavior. But he stayed in place, too scared to do something.

His body got into motion when you reached the living room with Hiba behind your back. You froze in your place as you noticed him.

You had shock written all over your face, you wanted to run away from him, but you couldn't. Your legs were glued to the floor. You just couldn't move.

Kylian, on the other hand, immediately walked towards you. He wanted to wrap his hands around your body. He wanted to kiss you. But he couldn't because he was too scared that you would run away from him.

"Please tell me that I don't make you feel like someone less worthy." you could hear the pain in Kylian's words. You also noticed how puffy Kylian's eyes were, which hurt you. Was it because of you?

"No" you answered "but you deserve more than I am. I am a disaster, i am a mess of human being" Kylian didn't let you finish.

"That's not the true cheri. Because I am the one who does not deserve you." only now did you notice the bouquet he held in his hands, Kylian placed it on the ground, stepped closer and took his hands in yours. "I wish i could show you how amazing you are. You are a beautiful person from the inside out Y/n. You are special, you are unique. No one can make me laugh the way you do. No one can make me feel loved like you do, no one Y/n. You inspire me to be the best that i can be. You are always there when i need you, and you are always able to calm me down, which no one else can. The way you light up the room with your smile. The way you make small moments special, everything about you is perfect and i would not want to change a thing. You deserve the world and I wanna give to you all." a tear slipped down Kylian's cheek. "You are my world Y/n, you are my home. I belong with you, not with anyone else. I need you now and i will need you in 50 years when we are gonna be old. You are the only thing that really matters to me. And i can't lose you. You are perfect so please do not change for me, because you are already everything to me.." you were crying at this point.

You realized how wrong you were, how you shouldn't listen to your stupid head. How you should told Kylian about what was your head thinking about. How did you feel last night. Because if you did that, you would not hurt your man.

"Mon cheri please go home with. Let me put the ring back on your finger and let me tell you how much in love with you I am." Kylian came closer to you, your bodies were touching. You looked up into his eyes as you put your hands behind his head.

"I am so sorry babe for leaving you. I should have told you about how i felt, i should have talk to you before i did this. But i really love you and i never wanna leavae you again." Kylian felt your lips on his. It wasn't passionate kiss, but it was kiss of two crying people, promising each other that they will be better. Better at expresing their feelings, their worries, their thoughts.

She won't run away when problems appear and he won't take her for granted. They will make this work once again.

[f0rg3t-me-n0t]

Ride Pt. 1

Read part 2 here

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When you’re having a bad day Dean makes it his mission to cheer you up. During a joy ride in the Impala old memories come up and the day ends a little different to what you both had expected.

Words: 3,5 k

Warnings: fluff, angst, smoking & drinking (only a little), friends to lovers

A/N: I’m thinking about writing a 2nd part for this oneshot. Of course it would be a little spicy 🌶️

Masterlist

~~~

You had been brooding over some books for a few hours when Dean showed up in the library. 

„Morning, N/N.“, he greeted you with a smile as he sat down in front of you.

One of your eyebrows quirked up. You looked at the watch on your wrist.

„It’s noon.“, was the only thing you said, then you focused on your book again. 

The older Winchester chuckled.

„Someone’s in a happy mood…then good noon to you.“, he answered. „What’s going on?“

Now he looked a little more serious. Frowning, you met his gaze again.

„What do you mean?“

„Well, you’ve seemed a little down and grumpy in the last few days.“, Dean explained. „Just wanted to check in on you.“ 

He leaned back and watched you as if trying to guess the answer before you even said anything. You sighed.

„It’s nothing. Really.“

Afterward, you tried to devote yourself to the book again but just then Dean grabbed it and put it out of your reach.

„Nu-uh.“, he shook his head. „Don’t „It’s nothing.“ me. Both you and I know, that that isn’t the case.“

At that, you rolled your eyes but finally gave in, after all, he was your best friend.

„It’s just…“, you gulped. „Nothing has been going right for a few days and…I’m so done with everything.“

You sighed loudly and Dean looked like he was trying to think of an example before he spoke.

„What exactly went wrong?“, it seemed like he hadn’t found an answer.

„Well.“, you held one finger up and nodded towards the garage. „First of all, I had a flat tire when I came back from that hunt with Charlie on Monday. I just wanted to relax when I came back and the next thing I knew I had to spend three hours fixing it. Secondly…“, you added another finger. „I stained my favorite shirt with sauce when I made that spicy fried chicken for dinner on Tuesday and it won’t come off. I’ve tried everything but there’s still too much residue to be unnoticed.“, you pinched the bridge of your nose as you exhaled and held up a third finger. „Yesterday I tried to hang up some pictures in my room and just when I wanted to place the last photograph next to the door my chair crashed and I bruised my elbow and now…“, you showed Dean the fourth and final finger. „I’m trying to help Sam with some details on his hunt. He wanted some information on a rune and I just know that I saw the exact symbol a few weeks ago in one of those books, but I just can’t seem to find it anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy at this point.“ 

With a loud huff you punched the stack of books on your right slightly and watched the tower fall over, then you looked back at Dean.

„Sounds really crappy.“, he agreed. „But why didn’t you ask me for help with your car or that rune? You know that I always support you where I can. Sometimes you just need to ask.“

Shrugging, you answered: „I mean…after our last big hunt, you had to repair a lot of the Impala. I didn’t want to bother with other stuff that I’m normally capable of doing alone.“

He hummed now.

„I see. But still. Baby’s all fixed up since yesterday and I would’ve helped you with the tire if you had asked me. The damage one the Impala wasn’t as bad as I had thought.“, he then said.

In silence, you looked at him for a while until you broke eye contact and chuckled dryly.

„Well, it’s too late now. At least for my car.“

Unenthusiastic you stood up and snatched your book from Dean.

„But you can help me with the rune if you want to.“, you added as you sat down again.

Unexpectedly the green-eyed hunter shook his head.

„No.“, he said.

„No? Really?“, frowning you scoffed. „Just right now you wanted me to ask you for help and now you say no?“

This man sometimes was a mystery to you.

„You see…“, Dean smiled as he got up and slowly walked over to you. „I’m not saying no because I don’t want to help you. I’m saying no because I can see how worn-out and unhappy you are. You need some time off, sweetheart. Something to cheer you up.“

You looked up at him, forehead wrinkled.

„And how? Sam needs this information.“, you told him.

„Come on, sweetheart. I’m sure that Sam will be fine. Even without your help. Why don’t you send him the titles of those books you have here? Maybe he’ll find something on the internet.“

„But-“, you wanted to object but the older Winchester didn’t let you. 

„Y/N, you need to relax a little. Okay?“, he held his hand out for you.

Doubtful you looked at it while you were chewing on your lip. You wanted to help Sam but Dean was right. You really needed something that would make you happy and help you calm down. Right now or else you would go mad sooner or later.

„Alright.“, you nodded and grabbed his hand.

„Atta girl.“, he grinned as he pulled you up. „Let’s meet at the Impala in 15 minutes. Grab a picnic blanket, some other blankets, and pillows.“

You smiled a little confused.

„For what?“

„I‘m taking you on a joy ride. Like back in the days.“, the dirty blonde winked at you, then he went off to the kitchen.

Chuckling you let your eyes follow his figure until he was gone and walked to your room. You really were looking forward to this ride so you did fast work with your tasks. After all, it had been forever since the last time you had done this. Just as you had sent Sam the book titles and wanted to go to the garage you remembered something.

The first time you and Dean had went on a joy ride was when you both were 16. John had dropped off Sam and Dean at your uncle’s house while he was on a case with another man and had left the Impala there, too. You had lived with your uncle since your parents had died on a hunt and he was no other than Bobby Singer. At that time you had also known the Winchester brothers for a while. Their dad had left them at Bobby‘s for a few times and you had always had gotten along with Dean pretty well so that afternoon the both of you went off on a joy ride in John‘s car. You had wanted to seem cool so you had stolen a pack of cigarettes from the neighbor to try out. Long story short: both of you hadn’t been a fan. Since then you had hidden the little package in your nightstand at your uncle‘s house and taken them with you in your recent one when you and the boys had moved to the bunker after Bobby had died.

Smiling you went back and grabbed the pack. Maybe it would be fun to smoke another cigarette just for the sake of reveling in old memories. Finally, you made your way to the Impala and five minutes later Dean showed up with some food and drinks to take with you.

„Ready?“, he asked you as he opened his car and put them in the backseat.

You nodded while you did the same with the blankets and the pillows.

„Ready as I can be.“

„Good. Jump in.“, like the gentleman he was Dean opened the door to the passenger seat for you before he went to his own side of the car. 

Soon you both were on the road and you could instantly feel the weight of the last few days lift from your shoulders. Satisfied you sighed and looked out of the window. It was a warm and sunny summer day, just perfect for your plan. 

„Feeling better already?“, Dean wanted to know as he glanced at you.

„Yeah.“, you turned to him with a smile. „Thank you.“

He waved it off.

„I’m just glad to see you a little happier.“, he said. 

„Still. If you hadn’t persuaded me we wouldn’t be here.“, you shrugged.

The green-eyed hunter nudged you with his elbow now.

„Sometimes you have to force people to their own luck.“, he chuckled. „But it wasn’t that hard to persuade you. So don’t mention it.“

You had to laugh afterward. 

„Alright. I just appreciate it.“

Both of you went silent but it was that comfortable kind of silence, that one where you can just sit next to each other, listen to music, enjoy the view and be happy with it. For the next four hours, Dean and you switched between small talk and silence. It was like balm for your soul. Soon all your worries were soothed away and it didn’t feel like everything had been plotting against you anymore. Yes, it was like everything was going to be alright again. 

~~~

„Here it is.“, Dean said as he turned onto a dirt road.

You furrowed your brows.

„What is?“, you wanted to know.

„You‘ll see.“, he winked at you. „It won’t be long anymore.“

Like he had said you both parked near a lake ten minutes later and it was only when you got out of the car that you recognized the scenery. 

„Wait…“, astonished you stepped closer. 

You were located about 20 feet above the water level and only a few feet away from you the terrain descended quite steeply to the lake. Both this and the trees that surrounded the water resulted in the most beautiful view.

„Just as gorgeous as the last time I saw it.“, you murmured. 

For a while you kept on looking down to the water, then you turned around to Dean who was leaning against the Impala's engine hood. He was smiling at you.

„Yeah.“, he agreed. „I drove by a few weeks ago and…well I thought it would be nice to go here again.“

Captured in thoughts you just stared at him for a couple of seconds until you nodded and reciprocated the smile.

„A good idea.“, you said while you made your way over to him. „So…the sun’s still going to be up for a few hours. Let’s set up the picnic blanket.“

„Sounds good.“, Dean said and you both got to work. 

Just a few minutes later you were sitting right at the edge of where the terrain descended.

„To a less troublesome time.“, Dean held out his beer to you.

You snorted in amusement.

"Yeah, to that and to both of us.", you clinked your beer against his and took a sip.

For some time you only sat next to each other and enjoyed the sun, then the green-eyed hunter spoke up.

„We should do this more often again.“, he said.

You looked at him.

„Yeah, that would be nice.“, you smiled.

„Do you still remember the old times?“, Dean asked now.

Chuckling you drank again.

„Of course, how could I forget?“

For the next few hours, you went on and on about the past. Meanwhile, you ate the sandwiches that Dean had made, emptied a few more bottles of beer and finally the sun slowly went down.

„Beautiful.“, you whispered as you leaned your chin on your knees.

The older Winchester nodded next to you.

„Just like the last time we were here.“, he added quietly.

As he finished his sentence the memories started to fill your thoughts.

~~~

„It looks amazing.“, you said and the blonde boy who sat on your right turned his gaze to you.

„Yeah.“, he nodded while he looked back at the sunset and then again at you. „It’s…it’s beautiful.“

While he said that word his eyes were fixed on yours and you both just looked at each other for a while until Dean cleared his throat.

„But that cigarette was really nasty.“, he crinkled his nose and you laughed.

„Agreed.“, your gaze fell onto the bud you had put out next to you. „There are better things you could do during a sunset.“

With that, you had his attention. He smirked.

„For example?“, as those words left his mouth you knew exactly what he wanted you to say: A romantic kiss.

You turned red instantly and looked to the ground.

„Uh.“, you scratched your neck. „Well…uh.“

Too ashamed to say it you went quiet until you heard your friend chuckle.

„I‘m just messing with you. Don’t worry.“, Dean told you and you sighed relieved.

„Dumbass.“, you murmured and he winked at you.

You leaned back until your back hit the grass and stared up at the sky now. Silence came over you both as you watched the stars slowly appear and the sun had been long gone, when Dean spoke up again.

„You’re cold.“, he said.

„What?“, you broke out of your daze and looked at him in confusion.

„You’re cold.“, he repeated. „You’ve been shivering against me for half an hour now.“

„Oh.“, just then you noticed that he was right.

Because you had been so consumed by your thoughts you hadn’t realized how cold it had gotten and that your whole body was covered in goosebumps.

„Sorry.“, you said and heard Dean chuckle.

„Don’t apologize. Here.“, he sat up and took off his flannel. „I don’t want you to freeze to death.“

Surprised you looked at him.

„But then you’ll get cold.“, you shook your head as you objected.

„It’s alright.“, the green-eyed boy said. „I’m doing just fine.“

Doubtful you scanned his body for vibrating movements or goosebumps.

„Really.“, he insisted and rolled his eyes as you looked up. „Now take it. Please.“

„Alright.“, sighing you gave in and just as you wanted to take the flannel from Dean you both got unexpectedly close.

You hadn’t realized, that he had wanted to help you put on the item of clothing so instead of turning your back a little to him you had leaned towards him to grab the material. Just then Dean had moved closer to you to help and now only a few inches separated your faces from each other. Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes met his and your heart raced in your chest. Blinking Dean seemed like he was trying to understand what had happened. 

Of course, you assumed that he would withdraw instantly, but that wasn’t the case. First, his gaze locked with yours, then he suddenly fixated on your lips. Only for a second but it nearly made your heart stop. Again he looked you in the eyes only to focus on your lips a few seconds later once again. At your eyes - on your lips - at your eyes - on your lips. Now where he was looking switched faster and faster and you felt him closing the gap slowly. 

You gulped as your throat has gotten dry but despite all of the nervousness, you didn’t turn away from Dean. Instead, you felt drawn to him. Like an invisible string was pulling you towards him and before you realized it his lips were on yours. Softly and carefully he moved them against you, then a little bolder when you reciprocated the kiss. 

It wasn’t long before you broke apart and looked at each other breathing unsteadily. You wished he would say something but he didn’t. Both of you sat quietly next to each other and five minutes later Dean got up.

„We…uh.“, he tried to find the right words. „We shouldn’t have done this. Bobby would kill me if he knew.“

Your heart shattered as he spoke these words but you stood up nevertheless. It wasn’t like you couldn’t understand him. He was right. Bobby would indeed kill him and then he would throw out the boys and fight with John and you would never ever see them aga-

No. You just couldn’t do that.

„Let’s act like this never happened.“, you joined Dean in the Impala.

„Deal.“, he said and with that the joy rides had ended. 

~~~

At least until now. 

„You alright?“, you heard Dean ask and you winced as you looked at him like a deer in headlights.

„Oh. U-uh…“, you stammered. „I just thought of…of…“

Your voice failed.

„The kiss…“, Dean completed the sentence with a whisper.

Nodding you turned your gaze away from him.

„Yes.“

Silence. 

„Me, too.“, he said after a while. „You know…“

Nervously you looked up at him.

„I…“, he breathed shakily. „I never got that kiss out of my mind.“

„Me neither.“, gulping you turned away again and sighed.

„What do you think would’ve happened if we didn’t make a deal to forget about everything?“, Dean suddenly asked.

Pondering you needed a few minutes before you answered.

„I don’t know. I remember that I had been incredibly scared that Bobby would kick you out after the kiss.“, you told him. „I thought that I might never see you again and I couldn’t risk that.“

„Me, too.“, the green-eyed hunter agreed.

„But today…“, you went on. „I don’t think he would’ve done that. Yes, he would’ve been mad as hell but…he loved you like you and Sam were his sons. Even at the beginning. So yeah, maybe it would’ve worked out nevertheless.“

Dean chuckled slightly.

„I really wish it would’ve been like that.“, his voice was barely a whisper; you nearly couldn’t understand it.

„You see.“, he got louder again. „I never got over my feelings for you.“

As he said those words it felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore.

„Never.“, he sighed and took the last sip from his third beer. „I mean, I’ve seen you nearly every day for a few years now and every time I’m with you I think to myself: „Wow. She’s gorgeous.“ Even when you’ve got blood all over you or your hair is incredibly disheveled from a good night of sleep.“

In disbelief, you stared at Dean. 

„You really still feel like that?“, you asked him.

He nodded.

„Yes.“

Exhaling loudly you rubbed your temples and closed your eyes.

„What are the possibilities?“, you chuckled quietly.

You could feel the older Winchester look at you in confusion.

„I feel the same.“, you confessed.

He cursed lightly at that.

„No, you’re joking.“, he couldn’t believe it.

„I‘m not.“, your eyes met again.

"You’ve had feelings for me for all this time?", Dean‘s hand found its way to your cheek and you leaned against it.

"Yes, always.", you smiled at him shyly.

„Fuck.“, he exhaled.

And then his lips crashed against yours. A little rough at first but much gentler afterward. Both of his hands cupped your face and your whole body started to tingle. You knew your feet would’ve given in because of this incredible sensation so you were very relieved that you were already sitting. Smiling you leaned more into the green-eyed hunter, your hands buried in his short hair.

You could feel Dean grin against your lips before he started to lean over you. Slowly he pushed you into the blanket and you arched against him. His tongue ran curiously over your lower lip until you opened your mouth slightly and let him in. Gently he nestled it against yours, then a little bolder as you gave in and the kiss became more passionate. Panting you both broke apart after a while and Dean leaned his forehead against yours.

„I wish we would’ve talked about this sooner.“, he whispered.

„Me, too.“, you said and cuddled into him after he had laid down next to you. „Still: Better now than never.“

The green-eyed hunter chuckled at that.

„For sure.“

It went silent again, but this time it was a good silence. You both were just extremely happy and it made you think of your last kiss with him, how happy you had been when he had kissed you.

This memory also reminded you of the pack of cigarettes in your pants pocket and you pulled them out.

„Remember that?“, you asked Dean.

„Cigarettes?“, he furrowed his eyebrows. „Wait? Not really? You still have them?“

Giggling you nodded.

„Yes.“

„Holy shit.“, the blonde man took one of the cigarettes in disbelief. „Well, then we should give it one more try for the old day's sake. What do you think?“

„Only if we share. I bet it’s still as horrible as before. Maybe even worse after all this time.“, you answered and so it was decided.

Dean sat up, put the cigarette between his lips and lit it with his lighter. With a disgusted look on his face, he blew out the smoke and shook his head.

„Absolutely not.“

You started to laugh and took it from him before you put it out.

„Maybe we should let it be once and for all.“, you turned to Dean again. „Let's pick up where we left off before instead. What do you say?“

„Oh hell yeah.“, and with that, his lips were on yours again.

[theverumproject]

hihi verum! i wanted to ask how it’s been writing your first story! what’s the process like for you? has it gotten tough to stick with? how do you go about issues in your writing?

hope you have a great day :>

Hello! Thank you for your questions and excuse me for answering a bit late (I like to take my time, lol)

How has It been writing your first story?

Writing Verum has had a little up, then a giant down and now it has been going up again since this year. The first book took me three years to complete, while it is only more or less 15 k long! I began the second book this year in April, and I think it's at about 40 k words right now, nearing the end of season 1. So at the moment, it is going great!

What's the process like for you?

I write everything down that comes to my mind. Be it a whole book or a very small detail to some alien species' biology. That's kind of how I build the story in my head. When I begin with a book, I write down all my ideas for the book and what should roughly happen in the different parts. One to five sentences are enough, though sometimes I also write down more, depending on how much I already got in my mind.

When I wanna write a part, I first make a description of it, where I just write down everything that comes to my mind and start to plot. It should be at least 500 words long, though recently it's been getting more and more. My newest description is over 2.6 k words long, longer than my minimum word count of 1.5 k, woopsies.

Once that is done I start actually writing the part. Like I already mentioned, my minimum is 1500 words, but my parts have been becoming longer too. The latest part is over 7 k words long, also woopsies.

I always give myself one month to write 10 k. And until now, I have always reached it. I use NaNoWriMo to keep track of that. Giving myself a goal to reach has really helped me!!!

I edit in between of my "writing months". For example, I write three parts, edit them, write another three parts, edit all six of them, write another three parts, edit all nine of them, and so on and forth.

Not sure if I understood your question right, but I hope this answer is good enough!

Has it gotten tough to stick with it?

Writing the first book really has been tough. I had no... Discipline nor motivation. That's also probably why it's not that good. It's kind of half assed, I guess?

But since writing the second book it has been going wonderful! The toughest part of it is actually figuring out how to write some things, or when there are plot holes and I don't know how to fix them. Or simply just beginning to write. But once I start another month, I have no other choice but to write.

How do you go about issues in your writing?

So, while I write the whole part for the very first time (after the description), I try to ignore all issues and questions that pop up and simply just write them into the text (like this). One of the simplest issues is for example:

There's a part where Arushi and Zri'Kla go hunting. They live in an Indian jungle, but I don't know what kind of animals live in an Indian jungle. I need one though that isn't too big to carry, but it also needs to have enough flesh on it to feed them for a little bit. So instead of thinking about what animal it is while writing, I simply just write down something like this; "The arrow pierced the (animal)'s flesh". I solve all issues while editing.

But when it comes to issues that affect the plot and stuff like that, I have write down the questions on notes. I often think about Verum throughout the day, so my questions often just get randomly answered. I just need to write it down before I might forget it again.

I think my own brain sometimes gaslight me though. I have a question and a simple answer that is not good enough. I look for a better one, but can't find one. And then suddenly I think that the first answer is alright I think it's a form of giving up.

Sorry for this wall of text! Hope I didn't ramble too much.

[hyperfixatingmenever]

Today's Nightmare & Tomorrow's Daydreams | Part 2/2 | 8.5 K | Mature

Title: Today's Nightmare & Tomorrow's Daydreams 

Fandom: Triple Frontier  

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/ Reader

Rating: Mature 

Word Count: 8.5K

Cross-posted on Ao3 here

A/N: I wrote part 1 (which I'd recommend reading first) for @theassbuttchronicles back in 2021, but I also wrote a dream that didn't make the final cut, which broke my heart because it was actually the first thing I wrote for the fic. BUT three years later, I've finally finished the fic! I hope everyone can enjoy it, but more importantly, experience the emotional turmoil of the dream with me! lol

"Son of a bitch!"

A sharp, stinging feeling shot through Frankie's hand; he had sliced it open while working on one of the helos he flew for instructing. The cut on Frankie's hand didn't feel like an emergency, but considering he knew you were working, and he cut it on metal, he thought, two birds, one stone. While holding pressure on his hand, he glanced around, looking for some type of fabric to help with the bleeding. The only thing within reach was his dirty, greasy hand rag. He rolled his eyes, knowing the lecture that was in store for him when you saw him. Accepting his fate, he wrapped his hand and headed over to the base clinic.

As he walked into the ER, he saw you busy working, bouncing between helping patients and other staff. He saw you smile and laugh with a fellow army medic. Your smile could light up his darkest days, and it had before. Without knowing, Frankie started to smile, feeling your warmth from across the room.

Out of his daze, he walked up to the registration desk. The sitting area was nearly empty, with only a couple of people since it was already late in the afternoon.

"Hi, Francisco Morales, 75-585-468."

"Frankie! What are you doing here?"

Picking up his head, he looks into your piercing eyes as you walk towards him. He lifted his hands clasped together, showing his poorly wrapped hand.

"Oh Jesus"

Leaning forward, you tell the nurse at the registration desk to not worry about it, ‘I'll take care of him.’

Blush starts to rise a little in his cheeks, but he looks down and hides his face under his favourite 'standard heating oil' cap.

"Come on, Frankie, follow me," motioning to follow you down the hallway to a more private room.

"Okay, let me take a look at it."

Taking a deep breath, Frankie releases the pressure and shows you his hand.

"Jesus, Frankie, is this a dirty rag?"

"I couldn't find anything else!"

He waited for you to give him shit, but he saw you take a deep breath and say, "I'm just happy you're okay. I worry about you."

As you cleaned out the wound, you also ordered a tetanus shot and eventually gave him a couple of butterfly stitches.

"You know there are mechanics on base. It's literally their job to keep all the machinery running. Why are you doing repairs to your own helo?"

"Because I know more than most of those idiots! I don't want to be in deep water just because one of those hijos de puta tontos forgot to do something. If I'm going to take 33,000 pounds of metal up into the sky, I sure as hell want to know it's up to snuff."

He can feel the crease in between his eyebrows as he starts to get angry, but that soon melts away as you jokingly massage it with your pointer finger.

“Well, look at you! Flying and fixing, how did you become a jack of all trades?" You softly chuckled.

“Well, my Abuelo could fix anything, but he loved fixing cars and planes in particular. With my mom always busy at work, I spent most of my time with him in the garage, or we would drive to a hangar and fix up a plane. I started out by just handing him tools, but eventually, I learned everything he knew, and I started helping him when I got older."

"Awe, I bet baby Frankie was cute! All covered in grease."

"Are you saying I'm not cute now?" Frankie says in a teasing tone, even though some part of him is completely serious. He wanted even a small piece of hope that could show that you cared about him the same way he cared about you.

He sees you roll your eyes as you start to bandage his hand.

"You know I’m not always going to be here to help with your cuts and bruises, right?"

"But I don’t know what I'd do without my favourite medic," Frankie shoots back, giving his go-to smirk — trying to cover up the hurt around the idea of you somehow not being in his life anymore.

The two of you talk as you continue to wrap his hand. Talk about Rebecca and that horrendous date. In the small silence, Frankie lets slip. "She just wasn't the one.”

Honestly, he knew that even before the date because 'the one' for him was carefully bandaging his hand. The one who worried about him. The one who took care of him. The one standing in front of him.

You finally break the silence, showing that you've finished with his hand. He thanked you, and you both walked toward the nurses’ station. Frankie thinks about how easy it would be to hold your hand as your fingers innocently brushed up against each other while walking. Instead, he just keeps walking down the hall as you stop at the nurse's station.

Stopping in his tracks, he remembers movie night and turns back towards you.

"HEY, MI CIELO! Don't forget movie night at my place on Friday!"

Frankie can't help but smile while leaving, thinking about you and your threat of physical violence toward Benny. Man, he couldn't wait for Friday night.

-----

"What do you mean you're not coming!"

"Allison finally agreed to let me take her on a date, but she's only free tonight."

"Wait, who's Allison? Is she the one with red hair or the one who never stops showing pictures of her hikes?"

"Neither"

"Pope, I can't keep up with you," he rubbed his face and groaned as he continued to push the cart with his elbows. "You can't cancel Pope! Will and Benny both canceled this morning! If you don't come, it will just be Cielo and me!"

"Maybe that's for the best'' Santi's playful tone came from the other side of the phone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He retorts gruffly, already done with his best friend’s shit.

"You and I both know you’ve been dancing around your feelings for her since day one; maybe you should buck up and make a move Hermano."

"I can't! What if she doesn't feel the same way? I can't lose my best friend."

"Best friend? I'm hurt, Hermano. I thought what we had was special."

Frankie can imagine Santi dramatically clutching his heart. "You know what I mean," rolling his eyes at this whole conversion.

"Well, I still can't come. So I hope you two have a good time. I'll talk to you later. Good luck!"

And before Frankie could respond, Santi had hung up on him.

Frankie puts his phone in his back pocket as he continues to wander the aisles. He looked down at his cart full of groceries, snacks, and drinks. Even though it was now just the two of you tonight, the amount of food he got could feed a small army.

As Frankie heads towards the till, he's distracted by the flower section. He couldn't buy you flowers, right? Unless? No. It was already going to be weird, just the two of you; the last thing he wanted to do was ever make you feel uncomfortable. As Frankie lost himself in thought, an older man came up beside him and said, "She must be a special girl."

Tongue-tied, Frankie didn't know what to say. She was a special girl, but she was more than that. She also wasn't his girl. He didn't know what to do.

"My Winifred's favourite was tulips."

He reached down and grabbed a small thing of pink tulips. Giving them a light shake as he took them out of the water.

"It never hurts to surprise them with flowers, make them feel appreciated. They do so much for us, always caring for us."

He was right; even though he and Cielo weren't together, they always took care of each other.

Giving Frankie a small clap on his bicep, "And don't forget to always cherish her."

Frankie gave a small smile and nodded as the old man walked away. Frankie looked at the flowers for another second before picking up some sunflowers and continuing towards the till.

-----

The day slowly progressed; he put everything away and placed the sunflowers in water on the kitchen table. He wouldn't give them to you, but they reminded him of your smile. He made fresh popcorn with butter before running off upstairs to change.

"FRANKIE?"

Hearing you call his name while walking into his house always felt like a dream. He could imagine you walking into the home you shared together, calling his name, declaring your arrival. He would hug you and pepper you with kisses as you came home.

The night that this felt closest to the truth was one random Tuesday. It was the first time you didn't bother knocking; you just walked in… to his home. You walked in, grabbed a beer, and landed on the couch; he eventually brought you a plate of food and shared dumb stories about his students. As you threw your head back laughing, Frankie knew at that exact moment that he wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

But in reality, he never made any of his friends knock. It was well known his door was never locked, and you could just waltz in, but you were different.

"Up here! Coming!" Frankie rushes down the stairs to greet you, still rearranging the clothes on his body.

-----

Surprisingly you hadn't picked 'The Princess Bride,’ which he knew was your favourite movie. He'd never tell anyone this, but when he was having a dark day or missed you, he would watch 'The Princess Bride’ and think of you.

The both of you had watched 'Wonder Woman' and then put on 'Prospect,’ but as the night started to fall, Frankie's eyelids did as well.

-Dream-

Images of Cielo flashed through Frankie's mind. He couldn't help but smile. Cielo was the one good constant in Frankie's life; when things became too much, he always knew you would be there for him. But his lovely, warm memories of you were quickly distorted and changed into what he could only describe as a nightmare.

"Guys, this is Aaron. Aaron, these are the guys, Will, Benny, Santiago, and Frankie."

Aaron’s arm casually around your waist drove Frankie crazy; he could feel his jaw tightening. Thinking that it should be his arm around your waist, his shoulder you lean your tired head against, and finally, you should be leaving in his truck instead of some fucking Prius. Frankie saw a flurry of snapshots and nightmarish memories of Aaron and your life together. Starting with a simple date where Aaron reaches over and squeezes your hand, and you look at him with so much love and potential.

"That should be me she's looking at like that," Frankie thought, but as soon as it started, new images flashed in front of Frankie, Aaron holding you as you cry, movie nights with just Aaron and you. The last one making Frankie physically wince, Aaron rolling off of you, both of you breathless,

"That was incredible," you say while still trying to catch your breath, looking over at Aaron, propping yourself up on one of your elbows before leaning down and mumbling against his lip, "I love you."

Frankie didn't think it could get any worse; he was wrong.

"We're getting married!" You shriek as you wrap your arms around Aaron’s torso. Benny was the first to offer congratulations, hugging you and picking you up off the ground. But while Will was walking towards you to give his congratulations, Frankie was stuck. He didn't understand, how could you be marrying this guy? His eyes unfocused, and stared off into the distance. His head started to race, but before he could completely spiral, he felt a large wack on his shoulder.

Santi leans in and whispers in his ear, "Come on, Hermano, you’ve got to get it together and go congratulate her." Frankie knew he was right; he came out of his daze, walked forward, and wrapped his arms around you. He put his face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your scent like it was the last time.

Pulling back slightly, "Congratulations, Cielo."

Frankie started to feel uneasy; his stomach began to tie in knots. Suddenly, Frankie was in his tactical gear in the middle of the jungle; he didn't know what he was doing here? He was no longer on active duty; his current job was to teach new pilots how to control a helicopter under extreme conditions. It had been years since he was in full tactical.

It felt heavier than usual… without explicitly knowing that there was a picture in his breast pocket, he took it out and realized why he felt heavier. Tears started to well in his eyes; he turned the picture over and read, "30 weeks. Come home safe, Frankie. This baby needs to meet their godfather."

Silently, Frankie started to cry. Crying over the fact that you were pregnant, that the baby wasn't his, but also over the reality of how happy you were. Happy without him. Frankie turned the picture over and started to caress your face and your bump carefully. Frankie loved you with every ounce of himself, and he would choose your happiness over his every single time. He knew there was nothing for him to do; it was too late to confess his love, but he also knew that he wanted to be in your life, and this baby’s, in any capacity he could, and if "godfather" was his role then so be it.

Suddenly there was loud banging in the distance, gunfire? Frankie's breathing hitched, and then, like some sort of glitch, the picture was no longer in his hands but a gun and the photo on the muddy ground. Frankie bent down to pick up the picture of you, but out of nowhere, he was tackled.

"Estúpido hijo de puta! What the hell were you thinking, Frankie? We're being shot at, and you're just standing there like target practice?!" Santi kept his voice quiet, but that didn't mean he wasn't yelling at Frankie.

"What the fuck are we doing here?" Frankie says, completely confused.

"You need to get your head out of the Sky and help me eliminate this last guy shooting at us so we can go home."

Frankie nods; he will do whatever it takes to get back to you.

"Okay, you go left. I’ll go right. They seem to be following us, so maybe we can surprise them from behind."

Frankie follows Pope's instructions and gives a wide berth to the left in hopes of trapping and surprising the person after the two of them. Frankie slowly crept through the jungle, keeping the end of his gun butted against his shoulder and his eyes keeping track of Pope through glimpses in the foliage. Frankie saw the person after them; he stopped and made eye contact with Pope. Pope gave a small nod. Frankie raised his gun and shot twice in center mass. The body crumpled. Frankie and Pope stalked towards the body. Frankie looked around the body for the gun, but there was none?

Frankie turns over the body… shock hits Frankie's entire body like a wave crashing over him. What had he done, what had he done! He dropped to his knees and cradled your body; Frankie’s gloved hand moved some stray hairs from your face. "Mi Cielo, what are you doing here? Baby, why are you here?" He starts to rock your body and cries, "I'm so sorry, so so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. Come back to me". Frankie feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up as Pope looks down at him. "This is your fault, Frankie, she's here because you never told her." As soon as he hears that, he can't speak, he can't move, everything is heavy, this is his fault. Suddenly BANG!

-End Of Dream-

Frankie jumped up from the couch in a terrible panic, trying to comprehend what was happening. His eyes dart around the room; he sees a broken plate on the floor and sees you step toward him. Scared of hurting you, he takes a step back. You're trying to talk to him, but it's all garbled; he can't make anything out. Violently, he shakes his head, hoping that everything will go back to normal. Finally, your sweet voice comes to him.

"Frankie, everything is okay, you're safe, I'm right here,"

As he looks down at his hand, he can see the blood that was there as he held your lifeless body in the jungle. Words tumble from his mouth. Part of him knows he doesn't make any sense, but all he knows is he has to keep you safe. Keeping you safe is all he cares about, and to keep you safe, he had to get away from you.

"I need you to stay back!"

Frankie ran into the nearest room and locked the door. He can hear you running after him, but as he slides down against the bathroom wall, everything feels like it's closing in on him. He can feel himself starting to hyperventilate, but the more he focuses on his breathing, the more he panics that he can't get it under control. He can feel himself spiraling; he's shaking, crying, hell, he can't even breathe right, but seconds before he feels like he's going to pass out, he hears you humming.

Humming a sweet melody, he doesn't know the song, but it makes him feel safe. You always make him feel safe. As he focuses on your humming, unconsciously, his breathing starts to even out, and he wipes away some tears. Frankie tended to feel nothing or everything after an attack like this. His hands were still shaking a bit, but when he focused on you, he felt better.

“Frankie? I'm going to go clean up the plate. Just call if you need me. I’ll be right back, okay?”

God, her tone was so sweet, which only made this hurt more. This was just supposed to be a typical movie night so she could get her mind off work, but he had to ruin everything, like always. All he wanted to do was go out and act as if nothing had happened, but he couldn't look into your eyes. He didn't want to show you how broken he was.

Frankie was unsure how much time had passed, but then you finally spoke, “You need to let me in, Frankie...please.”

That broke something inside of him. Hearing your plea, realizing how much this was hurting you, he never wanted to hurt you. That’s why he ran. He didn't want to be the reason to hear such hurt in your voice, but as he reached for the doorknob, his mind betrayed him.

“You don't deserve her. You'll always hurt her. She was happier with Aaron. You could never make her happy.”

As if these words caused him physical harm, he winced and pulled his hand back. His head is low as he took a deep breath, trying to hush these thoughts "...I don't want you to see me like this…"

She says something that makes Frankie chuckle, but before she can continue, he reaches for the doorknob again. He stands and slowly opens the door, revealing him behind. You take his non-bandaged hand in yours and, with your other, wipe the tears that still must be rolling down his cheeks. Your hands are so soft; he never wants to forget your touch. Gently, you pulled Frankie into a hug, wrapping his arms around your torso tightly; he stuck his nose in the crook of your neck. Frankie had never felt safer than in your arms, your fingers tangling in his hair as you rubbed circles on his back.

Eventually, Frankie starts to let go but only far enough to rest his forehead on yours; he stares into your eyes; his eyes then fall to your lips. Trying to alleviate any of the tension that was in the air, the first thing Frankie thought of slipped through his lips. "So, is this where we kiss?"

As soon as it leaves his lips, he wants to take it back.

Quickly changing the subject, you ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Frankie can’t even begin to explain how much he doesn't want to do that. Honestly would rather do anything because the only thing that could make this night worse was seeing pity in your eyes. “Can we just talk about anything else other than that?”

What Frankie wasn't expecting was your reply. “Sure.”

As you lead him to the couch and sit down, he lays his head on your lap without even thinking, only knowing that he needs to be close to you, touching you. You talk about everything that comes to mind. As you talk, he can feel you play with his hair. He closes his eyes and enjoys as your nails gently brush across his scalp.

"Frankie, why do you call me Mi Cielo? I know it means 'my sky,’ but I don't understand why you would call me that? I asked Santi in the past, but he just laughed and rolled his eyes at me."

Frankie groans. The only thing worse than you asking this question is you asking Santi first. Unable to look you in the eyes, Frankie explains his name for you, making sure to keep out a couple of details.

-Flashback-

“How about Mi Cielo?”

The rest of the guys give each other side glances before all bursting into laughter.

Santi, still laughing, said, “You can call her whatever you want. When it's just the two of you in bed.” Giving you a large smirk, “But we need a name we all can use.”

Frankie throws one of Santi’s many throw pillows that cover his couch at him. “Fuck you! It's not like that!”

Benny was now getting in on the teasing. “Oh, then what is it like?”

“We’re just friends! Just like the rest of us!” Frankie gestures to the three guys sitting around him.

While sipping his beer, Will quietly adds, “Man, I hope you don't look at us like that while our backs are turned.”

Frankie’s head whips towards Will, but Will’s comment has already sent the other two men back into hysterics. Frankie can feel his cheeks starting to get hot, so he gets up and grabs another beer from the fridge. Frankie throws back the bit he has left before opening the new one.

Santi walks in and grabs the new beer out of Frankie’s hand before he can drink it and takes a sip. “You know we’re just kidding, right?

Frankie glares at Santi as he turns around and grabs another beer.

“You're our brother; we’re going to give you shit, It's inevitable, but we do want you to be happy. She makes you happy, and even though you can't see it, you make her happy.”

Frankie waves off his comment as he takes a sip of his new beer.

“I’m serious! I wish you two idiotas could see yourselves. You guys have already wasted what? Seven years? I know you guys weren't in a good place when you first met.”

Pope was alluding to the coke. Frankie was now clean, three years sober. It was still a daily struggle, but there was no part of him that ever wanted you to see him like that again.

“But what I'm getting at is that you both have grown. You lean on each other. Hell, didn't you once meet her family?”

“Yeah…”

“Exactly! Now you've just gotta make a move! Because I don't know how many more barbeques I can take where you’re both looking at each other longingly when the other isn't looking.”

Frankie takes another sip. “I don't know, Hermano. I know I love her.” Frankie realizes this is the first time he has said it out loud, partially wide-eyed. He continues, “I want to be with her, but if she says no...I don't know what I’ll do. Part of me is happy with her just in my life, even just as friends.”

Frankie leans against the island with his elbows and rubs his face with his hands. “I don't know what I’d do without her, Pope.”

Santi claps him on the back. “I know, Hermano.”

There was a few seconds of silence before Benny yelled loud enough for Frankie and Santi to hear in the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll ask her out! How do you say it again? Pre-ci-ooo-sa?” (Frankie didn't even know you could butcher Spanish that badly)

Shaking their heads, Santi and Frankie both simultaneously say, “Maldito gringo”

-End Of Flashback-

When Frankie finished his explanation of your nickname, he saw you start to stare off. Thankfully, you were too preoccupied zoning out and playing with Frankie’s hair to see the red tint that slowly crept up his face. Frankie enjoyed the soft touches of your fingers intertwined within his messy curls, wishing he could stay like this forever. But you somehow caught him stifling a yawn. "Let’s get you to bed.”

Frankie was incredibly thankful you agreed to stay; he didn't know what he'd do if he had another nightmare like before. Hearing your steady heartbeat and even breathing kept him calm, but as he lost himself in the rhythm, that's when he heard — your confession. Frankie doesn't move; he’s got to be dreaming, right? His brain is playing a trick on him. You could never love him; he’s just a broken man. As his brain tries to process your confession, he can feel your breathing get shallower; you’ve fallen asleep. He lifts his head, looks at your peaceful face, and thinks, “I love you too, Mi Celio.” He places his head back on your chest and immediately falls asleep.

-----

This was the best sleep Frankie had had in years; he could imagine the rest of his life sleeping right beside you. In between conscious and unconsciousness, Frankie reaches out for you to pull you back toward his body, but all he feels is empty sheets. His eyes instantly open as he sits up to scan the empty bed and the empty room.

Where could you have gone? Could you have just left him in the middle of the night? Before heartbreak overtakes him, he sees the light coming out from under the bathroom door; he throws off the blankets, runs over to the door, and tosses it open. Your eyes meet as the bathroom door swings open; you’re at the sink washing your hands.

Seeing your eyes makes everything better. You didn't leave; you stayed; it wasn't a dream; you did love him. He leans into your hand, and everything feels better.

Frankie opens his eyes and asks, “Are you hungry?”

-----

“Can we talk about you kissing me?”

He could have been more delicate, but he was thinking hard about what to say. The words just tumbled from his mouth as he looked at you across the kitchen.

Seeing you start to backpedal made a small part of his mind doubt what he knew. But his love for you won out. He knew how you felt, and he knew he loved you, and he told you just that.

“I love you too.”

-----

The next couple of hours felt like a dream. You both confessed your love for each other, he finally got to kiss you (and taste you), and he got to worship your body as you deserved. After he rolled off of you, both of you still breathless, you turned your head towards him and said: "That was incredible… that was beyond incredible."

Frankie gave a goofy smile to himself, proud to have satisfied you better than your imaginary boyfriend he made up. But just like in his dream, you propped yourself up, leaned down, and mumbled against his lip, "I love you."

Frankie took further care of you, wiping you down with a warm face cloth and gently reminding you to pee. As he laid in bed waiting for you, he knew he wanted to take care of you for as long as you'd have him. He wanted this for the rest of his life: you taking care of each other. When you crawl back into bed, he wraps his arms around you, wanting you as close as possible, and the both of you fall peacefully asleep tangled together.

-----

Frankie woke up the best way he could ever imagine, with you leaning over him, slowly kissing his face. A smile on his face grew, and he greeted you, "Good morning." And with your warm smile matching his, you greet him as well. "Morning, Frankie."

He pulled you in with his bandaged hand to continue this kiss. After a minute or two, you pull back, Frankie’s lips pursed forward, wanting more, but you stopped to say something. "Oh, by the way, Santi stopped by and wanted to gossip with you, but I told him you were busy."

"Oh, am I?" Frankie said, completely joking. At this moment, he couldn’t care less about Santi. The only person he cared about at this moment was in his arms with the most addicting lips.

"Yes, extremely busy," her lips attached to Frankies. Their lips fought for dominance, but Frankie won when he flipped the both of you, so he was on top. With a small gasp, your mouth opened, and he used this to his advantage. As Frankie's hands traveled down your body and got to the bottom of your shirt, he realized something was different; this didn't feel like the shirt you had been wearing earlier this morning. He broke the long kiss between you two, both of you already breathless, and he looked down.

"Is that my shirt?”

“Yeah, I borrowed it. Is that okay?” He can tell you're a little nervous.

“Yeah, I…you just look good in it… really fucking good”. Trying to keep his feelings in check. He couldn't tell if he wanted you to only wear his shirts from now on or if he wanted to rip it off your body so he could worship every inch of you all over again.

“You should see how good I look out of it,” you say with a wink.

Option two, he thought, definitely option two.

-----

Frankie woke up with your hair tickling his nose, but this only brought a smile to his face when he realized you were here and he wasn't dreaming. Frankie carefully propped himself up and gazed upon your face. He lightly pushed the stray hairs out of your face, pressing a light kiss on your temple. Then, he caressed your face, neck, and shoulder with the back of his fingers. Still asleep, you shifted your body, rolling on your back, seeking his warmth. Frankie's smile only grew as he watched your naked body search for his. Frankie kisses you once again before covering you up with the rest of the blankets, hoping that would stall your search for his body heat. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he makes his way to the kitchen to once again try and cook a meal. However, the terrible mess in the kitchen looked like it was going to take priority. After throwing away the cold starts of avocado toast, Frankie decides on something simple in case he gets interrupted (his stomach growls in agreement). Not that he'd be complaining; the both of you happily ate the cold takeout that you had ordered before falling back to sleep from exhaustion. He would eat cold food the rest of his life if it meant he could enjoy every noise, moan, and pleasure-filled eye roll you made as he worshipped you like it was his last time.

Frankie quickly whipped up some sandwiches, grabbed a bag of chips and a couple cans of pop (deciding it was late enough in the day for pop but not late enough for a beer). Looking at everything before him, he realized he didn't have one of those trays everyone in the movie seemed to have, mentally adding that to a list of things to buy if you were going to be staying over more. He hoped you would be staying over more. Deciding that they would be sharing a plate (one less thing to carry … and potentially drop,) he moves all the sandwiches onto one plate, puts the bag of chips under his arm, and puts a can in each pocket of his sweatpants, which are pulling them dangerously low, but he didn't have to go far. But before leaving the kitchen, Frankie looked over to his table, which seemed to be brighter from the bouquet of sunflowers he bought the day before. With his one free hand, he grabs a single sunflower and heads back to the bedroom. Opening the door slowly, he sees you cuddled up in the pile of blankets he left you in. Frankie walks over to his side of the bed, places everything on the floor, then cuddles into you. He kisses up your jaw, pressing his nose into your soft skin, tickling you with his scruff. He tries to wake you up with a sing-songy voice.

"Come on Mi Cielo. Waaaake up. I've got a suuuuupriiiiise for yooou"

Only groaning your response

"Come on baby, wake up." Really trying to wake you with his scratchy scruff rubbing up against your face.

"Okay, okay, stop it. I'm up!" Grabbing the sides of his face and pushing him away.

Frankie laughs as you groan, sitting up and leaning against his bed frame.

"Okay, what's the surprise?"

"Close your eyes."

You squint your eyes, suspicious of Frankie, but you both know you trust Frankie with your life. Closing your eyes, you wiggle to make yourself more comfortable against the bed frame.

"Okay, open'em!"

Frankie sees the genuine surprise on your face. "It's nothing fancy, but I-"

Covering his mouth with both of your hands, you interrupt him. "Frankie. This is perfect. Thank you." Releasing his lips, you pull him in and kiss him. Both of you break the kiss rather quickly, knowing if you don't stop, it will be another forgotten meal.

Frankie saw you look at the sunflower on the plate's rim before delicately picking it up and gently tracing the petals with your finger. Internally, Frankie debated whether to tell you the meaning behind the sunflower, but as he saw your soft smile only grow, he simply couldn't hold it in any longer.

“It reminds me of your smile!”

Both you and Frankie are suddenly startled by Frankie's unusually loud declaration. Cocking your eyebrow in confusion, you look at Frankie in hopes of an explanation.

“I - uh, when I was at the grocery store getting food for movie night, I walked past the flower section, and when I saw the sunflower, I couldn't help but think of you… and your smile.” Frankie didn't think he had anything else to say, but he just couldn't stop. “I met this old man, and he told me about his wife and how she liked tulips, and all I could think about was us at that age. What we'd be like. But then I saw this sadness in his eyes, and even though he didn't say anything, I could tell how much he missed her. And all I could think of was how much more I'd miss you if we were that age, and I still hadn't told you how I felt.

As Frankie finished, he felt out of breath, like he had released all he had been holding on to for seven years. It took all of Frankie's conviction and confidence not to hide his eyes from your all-encompassing gaze.

There was a long silence as the two of you stared at each other. This was only broken when Frankie saw your eyes turn partially glassy, and panic flooded his body, but before he could apologize for anything and everything that possibly could have made you cry, he felt your arms be thrown around his neck, and with a tight squeeze he knew everything was going to be alright.

—--

The next two days, neither of you spent more than a couple minutes out of bed and almost always in arm's reach of each other. Contact became practically a necessity, Frankie constantly wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck. Your hands traced each scar, cut, and bruise that littered his body. Neither of you wanted this to end, but Frankie was the first to declare a solution.

"Why don't we both call in sick?"

"We can't just call in sick, Frankie."

"Why not?"

"The both of us calling in sick? That's suspicious. Someone is bound to figure it out."

"We work in two completely different sections, no one would ever know." Frankie knew you. He knew you wanted this; it just might take a little extra convincing. But for a couple extra days with you in this bubble, it was worth it.

"I don't know, Frankie." Frankie saw you hang your head, and he knew this was his moment

"Come on Mi Cielo, play hooky with me." Giving his signature smirk before leaning down, kissing your temple, and whispering in your ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

Frankie pulled back to gauge your reaction. And when he saw your smile, he knew he had you.

"Oh, is that right, Mr. Morales?"

Hearing 'Mr. Morales' come from your lips made him give a low moan before biting his lip, trying to contain it.

"Si mi amour"

Frankie barely answered before dragging you back to the bedroom.

-----

Slowly, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed. Frankie and you found a rhythm in your rose-tinted bubble. Nothing appeared to be able to burst it, that was, until an unexpected guest.

Frankie was washing dishes from supper the night before as you dried and put them away. This felt like the most natural thing, sure you had washed dishes together in the past, but now, as Frankie looked over at you, everything was different. You were wearing an old shirt of his and an even older pair of boxers. You shook your hips and swayed to the music that played throughout the kitchen. From time to time, touching his waist as you move past him to put something away, often followed by a kiss on the cheek or behind the ear.

This time, however, Frankie saw you coming and turned to catch your lips; he could feel you react at first but, in an instant, melt into him. Not caring about anything, he turns, making sure not to break the kiss, and pulls you into him with his wet soapy hands, one on your back and one gripping your ass. You gasp in surprise, which Frankie takes advantage of, deepening the kiss. The smell of you fills his nostrils, and the sweet taste of you starts to fog his mind, but before he can do anything else, he hears, "Ahem."

Pulling back, Frankie turns to look at Pope, giving the two of you a shit-eating grin.

Frankie's head falls to your shoulder, and without looking at him, Frankie asks, "What do you want, Pope?"

"Oh well, when I heard my best friend was out sick, I went to see if our licensed medical professional knew anything. But to my surprise, she was out sick too!" Sarcasm dripped from Pope's statement.

Frankie feels a whack on his shoulder. "I told you someone would figure it out!"

Frankie lifted his head and rolled his eyes. "Pope doesn't count as someone."

Looking directly at Pope now, Frankie asks, "Again, what do you want, Pope?"

"Like I said, I wanted to check in on my best friend!"

Frankie cocks his eyebrow, knowing nothing is simple with Pope.

"I've given you guys four days together. Isn't that enough?"

Frankie, already incredibly annoyed by his best friend, matter-of-factly says “No.” before quickly pulling you in and passionately finishing the kiss Pope had so rudely interrupted. Frankie can feel you initially melt into him, but feeling Pope's eyes on you, you quickly come to your senses and push away from Frankie. He can practically feel the heat coming from your cheeks as you look down, making sure to not make eye contact with Pope before quickly excusing yourself to get dressed.

Watching you walk up the stairs to his room, he couldn't comprehend how lucky he was, but his fantasy was quickly dismissed when Pope declared, “Enough about you two, let me tell you about my date!”

Turning his neck, Frankie gave Pope one of the coldest stares he could muster this early in the morning. Either completely missing or ignoring the stare, Pope went into his story about his date with Allison “Okay, so I picked her up and took her to that hot new restaurant I told you about, and then we-” It was then when Frankie tuned Santi out and continued with the dishes, only occasionally adding in a helpful nod and ‘uh huh’ as the story continued.

By the time the story was wrapping up, Frankie heard you coming down the stairs, and he couldn't help but turn to you and smile. Like it was second nature, Frankie opened his arms, welcoming you into his embrace, but before you could Santi had to ruin the moment. “Wipe that goofy smile off your face. She was gone for like ten minutes.”

Santi and Frankie couldn't help but roll their eyes at each other, which only made Cielo giggle as she secured herself in Frankie's embrace.

“So what is this? Are you guys together? Or just fucking?”

Instantaneously, both Frankie and you shout, “Santi!” but Santi brushes this off with a shrug.

Frankie suddenly panicked. These days of playing hooky had let him imagine a life with you. In a perfect world, he'd propose to you right now, and you'd be married, moved in (and hopefully pregnant) by the end of the week.

But maybe that's not what you wanted? Maybe you wanted to just enjoy these days of playing hooky, and once it ended, never speak of it again.

Before fully spiraling, Frankie felt your hand on his chest, grounding him. He looked at you, and even though you were glaring at Santi (much like a sibling would), he knew that this was in no way, as Santi put it, just fucking.

"Santi, I love you like a brother. And because of that, I'm going to politely ask you to leave before I start throwing things. Particularly at your head." The smile on your face was radiant, but Frankie knew the look was dead serious.

Santi barely started, "But I-"

Still with the brightest smile spread across her face, Cielo picked up a plate and stared at Santi.

Santi squints, “You wouldn’t?”

You pull your back, ready to throw. “Try me, pretty boy.”

Seeing she means business, Santi lifts his hands up in surrender and makes his way out of the house.

Before the door closes, you yell out, “Bye, Santi!”

Frankie chuckled and turned to her, “Were you actually going to throw it?” to which she only answered with a shrug before continuing with the dishes. Frankie couldn't help but let out a booming laugh, with tears of laughter.

Once the laughter ends, there's a calm silence around them; the only noise is the sloshing of water from washing dishes and the clinking of plates as they're put away. Frankie knows what he wants, and part of him believes he knows what Cielo wants… but the voice of doubt still lingers in his head. Once again, Frankie is unable to keep his thoughts from spilling out.

“You want this right? You want us…” There's another pause, but this one feels less calm. In the silence, all Frankie can hear is his own heartbeat, slowly starting to rise. He puts the cup he was holding down on the counter, worrying that his sudden clammy hands will fumble it. Frankie sees you stare at your reflection within the sink. As he stares at you, waiting for a response, he sees a tear drop roll down your cheek and hit the water in the sink, making a small ripple.

Without even thinking, Frankie's hands are on your cheeks, wiping the silent tears with his thumbs and turning you to face him. Your brilliant eyes, which he loves so much, are glassy and red from the tears. Frankie sees your throat bob as you swallow hard. Frankie's voice can't help but come out as a beg, “Mi amor, ¿qué es?”

Cielo takes a very shaky, deep breath, and you responds barely higher than a whisper. “I'm scared.”

Another shaky breath was taken before she continued, “I'm scared we're moving too fast. I'm scared that we’ll ruin our friendship. I'm scared you'll fall out of love with me. Im - Im -I'm scared I’ll lose you!” You couldn't help but sob at the last statement, and your knees finally gave way.

Frankie immediately scoops you so he's on his knees, and you're clinging to his chest. He doesn't care that your hands are wet and soapy from the sink, he doesn't care that his shirt is wet from your tears, he doesn’t even care that he landed on his knees so hard he’d probably be sore for weeks. All he cares about is you. Taking care of you. Being there for you. Whatever you need. All that he did was for you.

Unconsciously, Frankie starts to rock you in his arms, whispering “I love you’s” in Spanish and English. The snobs eventually turn into much smaller cries. Frankie is still rocking but now humming a song that he didn't know the words to. Cielo finally looks up at Frankie, and he wipes your tears. “You’re humming my dad's song. He'd sing it to me when I was little.”

“It's also what you sang to me after my nightmare.”

“...I just wanted to help.”

Frankie nuzzles his nose against her cheek, “I know.”

This silence now felt like home. He could only hear their heartbeats, their synchronised breathing, and the song he continued to hum.

“I know you're scared, but being with you is all I’ve ever wanted. And I'm never changing my mind. I want everything with you, big or small,”

Frankie cradles your cheek in his hand and looks into your eyes. “I want to get married and have kids, but I also want to hold your hand when we walk side by side. I want to buy you flowers whenever I think of your smile. I want to have a picture of you in my cap. I want to hold you when we watch Princess Bride.” Taking a breath, he continues, “I want to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life.”

Frankie leans down to kiss you, and the kiss contains multitudes. Frankie kissed you with a promise of your future together. As he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours. “I promise. Nothing could ever take me from you.”

As You looked at Frankie, he knew, in his heart, they would be together for the rest of their lives.

-The Next Last Friday of the Month-

“Hey, Fish were here!”

“Hey guys! We’re in the kitchen!”

As Santi, Benny, and Will enter the kitchen with armloads of beer and chips, they are greeted by both you and Frankie, who are making popcorn and grabbing cold beer from the fridge.

Benny hugs you, lifting you up off your feet. “Oh my god! You're here first? You never beat us!”

“Oh, you know they let me off early today because it was so quiet.” You have a small smirk when Frankie catches your eyes, which he can't help but return. You actually arrived first because you and Frankie had been driving to work together for the past month.

Frankie glances at Santi to see if he's kept his word and not gossiped with the boys about the two of you. The two of you swore him to secrecy because they wanted to tell them together, which he begrudgingly agreed to.

As the five of them head to the living room, you and Benny continue to argue.

“It's Fish’s turn to pick! Those are the rules!”

“But no one showed up last month! All you fucks canceled!”

“It was your pick last month, and Fish’s pick this month. ‘thems the rules!” Benny shrugs nonchalantly.

You land in the middle of the couch with an indignant “Ugh!” as you cross your arms. “This is so not fair.”

All the boys chuckle, Will sits beside you, Benny sits in the armchair, Santi spreads himself over the loveseat, and Frankie goes to the DVD shelf to pick a movie.

Since Benny never knows when to call it quits, whispers under his voice as he takes a sip of beer, “Everyone cancelled because we couldn't stand to watch The Princess Bride again.”

Frankie can hear you gasping behind him, and then he hears what he can only imagine as pillows being pelted at Benny. Everyone starts to laugh again.

Benny starts to scream in defeat. “I'm Kidding! I'm kidding! I'm kidding!”

Frankie puts the movie in the player and turns to see you standing over Benny, who is on the ground trying to dodge punches, pokes, and tickles. Frankie chuckles and sits down on the other end of the couch to Will and presses play to the movie.

“Admit defeat Miller! And I’ll take mercy on you!”

“Uncle! Uncle!”

“Say it!”

“The Princess Bride is the best movie ever!”

Satisfied, you stand and take the middle seat between Will and Frankie.

Out of breath, Benny crawls back into the armchair before asking Frankie, “So what are we watching, Fish?”

“The best movie ever.”

You look at Frankie with a touch of shock and he can't help but smile. Benny lifts his eyebrow in confusion until the movie tile screen comes up.

Benny groans and everyone laughs. You kiss Frankie on the cheek and cuddle beside him. Frankie kisses you on the top of the head. “Cualquier cosa por ti mi amor”

There's approximately 1 minute of silence before Will speaks up. “What the fuck?”

Benny is still staring at the two of them with a blank face of confusion.

Will once again, “Are we missing something?”

You shush Will “ssssshhhhh the movies starting!”

Benny, this time, stands up and blocks the TV. “No, no, no, explain.”

Frankie glances at Cielo to which she answers with a shrug. “Fine if it gets us to watch this movie quicker. Fish and I are together” Benny goes to interrupt but she stops him “Uhp! Uhp! Uhp! We've been together for a month, we are happy, and we will be taking nobody else's opinions.”

Benny and Will finally look at Santi, who has been playing on his phone the entire time.

Santi turns his head, “What?”

“Do you have anything you want to add?”

Santi thinks for a moment before throwing some popcorn in his mouth. “We should all start knocking because I walked in on them basically having sex in the kitchen.

This made both Frankie and you yell, “Santi!” and for good measure, you threw another pillow, adding, “We were just kissing!”

Hearing giggles from the Miller brothers behind you, you whip around “Anything else?”

Almost immediately, they leaned back in their seats like nothing had happened.

Frankie pressed play, and they started watching The Princess Bride when Benny quietly whispered, “It's about goddamn time.”

To which they all can't help but laugh.

[hanalulugguk]

Sugar Rush Ride I

Pairings: Han Jisung x fem oc

genre: fluff, non-idol AU

Warnings: none.

Word count: 3.9 k

bold is korean

(Slightly revisited!)

this was a dream i had a few weeks ago that i’ve been think about since and made it into a series of one shots. was so excited to write n post it i didn’t even plan it out so hopefully i won’t change anything.

jisungie library assistant part 1/?

Enjoy <3

Prev < current > Next

Tossing her pen over the scattered stacks of paper on the table, lyra leaned back in her seat, back pressing against the hard wood of the chair she had been sitting on for hours as she lets out a huff of frustration. Her eyes drift to the clock on her open laptop, 10:27pm , she’s been here since 3pm. Arriving at the busy hours of the library, when the bustle of passing students spending time here to pass their breaks or when people would pass by after work in hopes of finding a new book or finding a quiet place to read, and remaining well into the late hours of the night when there would be a maximum of 10 people spread all across the vast space of the local library.

This was her typical routine, being in her first year of achieving a master’s degree, lyra quickly found herself in a similar routine to when she was in college. Spending the early afternoon in class then spending the rest of her day at the library, studying. Being in the first few months, one wouldn’t expect to be this behind, but apparently the daily 2 hour class was enough to pile up onto itself and create more work, research and extra work to catch up. But that is to be expected, she’s just meant to endure it and push through, especially since a master’s in psychology was her idea. 

Opting to take a quick break before she finishes the last task of night to head home, she picks herself up, slipping her headphones off her head and standing from her chair with a great deal of effort, similar to that of a mother of 4 children with a husband to take care of, she take her wallet before pushing her chair in, pile of messy work left to be dealt with later as she heads to the big library doors. Lyra’s favourite thing about the library, aside from everything which is why she spends close to all her time there, is the cafeteria divided from the main common area, the library, on the 3rd floor. 

For a library cafeteria, it sure was wondrous, there was always fresh pastries and food in the early hours of the day, the afternoon and sometimes late into the night, depending on how busy it is there. Aside from the pastries and coffee, shockingly good coffee too, the cafeteria provided a really delicious and filling menu, one that people who don’t even come to the library come to visit. With how often lyra goes to the library, she is already familiar with all the staff, no matter their shift, she has at some point come across them or has even befriended them from her college days.

Making her way into the elevator and pressing on the button to the 3rd floor, she pulls out her phone to check for any messages, turning off the do not disturb option. After quickly reading over them, the elevator dings, letting her know that she has arrived at the 3rd floor. As soon as the metal doors part open and the soft voice of Taylor swift reaches lyra’s ears, she steps out with a slight furrow to her brows. Usually, from early morning till late in the afternoon at least, the music playing in the 3rd floor is soft lofi, or quick jazz music, both of which are a funny soundtrack to a late breakfast or early dinner, but nonetheless, they made a little more sense than taylor swift, this late in the night.

As she makes her way past the entrance, Lyra is met with the empty cafeteria, the sound of clattering utensils and plates heard from the back kitchen, aside from the one figure in view behind the cash register. At the sound of lyra’s footsteps the man’s head lifts from his fix on his foot to offer her a small smile. “I was wondering when you’ll come by,”

“Hi axel,” lyra greets softly, leaning on the counter, axel mirroring her so they were face to face, breaths almost mingling. “Hey little dove, how’s studying?” he asks with a light pat to her head. She drops her head forward with a small grunt making axel chuckle. “I think i’m gonna go insane before I cure any kids,” she saunters making him shake his head, “no you won’t. You’re the best future child psychologist of our time,” he defends making her look up with raised brows, “i sense sarcasm.” he shakes his head again with a laugh before pushing himself off the counter to stand up straight.

“What can i get you?” he asks moving to the sandwich stall where all the ingredients and toppings were still left out. “Anything is fine, I just need to get some food in me so my stomach isn’t louder than my music.” lyra responds, going to watch axel put her sandwich together from behind the glass barrier. He slips on a pair of clear gloves before pulling out some sandwich bread, “speaking of music, is this your doing?” she asks pointing her finger up at the invisible music flowing between them, still loud and clear inside the cafeteria, “if it’s past 9pm and it’s not the weeknd or j balvin then yes, it’s me.” axel responds not looking up from the sandwich he was assembling. “Did you get dumped?” lyra asks, eyeing him as he adds extra jalapenos into her sandwich, just how she likes it.

“Is taylor swift for people who get dumped?” he asks taking a quick glance at the girl on the opposite side of the glass. “I am choosing not to elaborate further considering how my only meal for the next couple of hours is with your reach.” axel chuckles as he shakes his head, “don’t worry i won’t poison you,” he assures, making her jokingly let out a loud breath of relief.

 “I like jonah’s taste better though,” she says after a moment of silence, axel drops the onions he hand in hand back into their container as he leans on the glass, “why don’t you let jonah make your sandwich?”

“I’ll stare directly in the sun but never in the mirror,” lyra sings along to anti hero playing through the speakers making axel laugh as he goes back to adding the onions on top as a last touch then wrapping her sandwich. “I think you’ll like it, i tried it yesterday and had it again for lunch, it’s my current favourite.” he says handing it to her above the glass. Axel is always using his free food privilege at the cafeteria during his shift to try out new combinations with the sandwiches, switching out different spices and trying new dishes in the cafeteria kitchen. Sharing every successful one with lyra when she comes by.

 She unwraps the first part of the sandwich as she takes a generous bite, axel watches her full cheeks and her concentrated face in amusement and anticipation, watching her slowly chew, savouring every emulsion of flavour that she tastes. As soon as she swallows she looks over at her friend with a dreamy look in her eyes, “you’ve truly outdone yourself, again.” she makes sure to add before taking another bite. He smiles, “glad you like it, don’t get bored of it too fast, i won’t be trying anything new for a while i really like this one.” he points making her shake her head, “i could never get bored of eating anything you make.” axel rolls his eyes watching her eat, content smile on her face. 

“How much is it?” she asks pulling her wallet out of her back pocket, “it’s on the house.” lyra raises her brows with a scowl, “is that pity?” she asks sarcastically making axel shake his head, “that’s ‘i’ll give you a free sandwich, you’ll bring me cheesecake when you make some’. No pity.”

Lyra extends out her hand for a handshake, axel placing his hand in hers “deal.” they both give a firm handshake. She looks over at the display watch above the cashier as she lets out a small gasp at the time, 10:55. “I need to go finish something really quick before i pack up and leave.” axel looks up at the clock and nods, waving her off, “i need to pack up and help jonah in the kitchen too. i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes you will, say hello to jonah for me. And thank you for the sandwich.” she waves as she walks backwards, “no thank you’s just finish it.” axel calls back as she turns around to leave, “consider it devoured.” she calls back, not bothering to turn around as she makes her way back to the library. By the time she’s in and out of the elevator and has made her way back to the library entrance she only has less than half the sandwich left, she wraps it up before she enters, opting to finish the rest on her way home since food isn’t allowed in the library.

When she makes her way inside, lyra notices that everyone else at the library has already packed up and left, the only occupied table in the big library is the one right at the centre right in front of the victorian history section, the one that is home to her scattered paper, laptop and bag. She makes her way over, placing the food in her bag before she picks up her pen and opens her computer again. After about 10 minutes of pure silence, her choosing not to put her headphone back on feeling weary being the only one in the library, the sound of shuffling feet is heard next to her as she looks over at the far right to see a man at the furthest bookshelf from where she sat. the man was wearing a simple oversized white shirt tucked into a pair of beige pants with a black leather belt through the loops of his pants. He had slighty long blonde hair. He stood stoically, putting some books in his hand away. Lyra furrows her brows, not remembering seeing him before with any of the other staff, matter of fact there hadn’t been anyone on the night shift aside from sally, the lovely old librarian, for the past 4 months. She can’t recall either if he was one of the few people who were at the library aside from her working.

As she stares a little at the man, he turns around, eyes fixed to the two other book in his hand as he looks over the titles, now that he is towards her, lyra can see that his blonde hair is relatively longer at the front, his bangs resting on top of the frames of his black rimmed glasses that rested high on his nose bridge. Lyra shifts a little in her seat, turning back to her work, she’s only able to work for a few minutes before she feels too uneasy at the sound of feet pattering outside her line of vision. As she was about to pack up, she hears the pattering grow louder as he makes his way towards her table but walks past her to stand in front of the victorian history shelves. He stands for a few moments, looking between the books as he holds up the last book in his hand, taking a good look at it. Lyra furrows her brows at the strange man before pushing her chair back to get up. As the sound of the chair echoes in the empty library, the man turns around to find the source of the sound. His eyes land on lyra as she stands the table barely a few feet away from him, he gives her a quick shy smile before he turns back around to face the shelves. She notices a slight fidget in his stance as he continuously looks from the book to the shelves. She waves it off and packs up her papers into her file and stacks them on her notebook, when she puts her laptop away into it’s case, the notebook and file follows before she zips it up. Picking the stray items on the desk to put into her bag, the pen, her lip balm, wallet, the earrings that were too heavy in her ears so she took them off and tossed them aside, and her headphones. She slings her bag over her shoulder and cradles the laptop case in her arms, she takes one quick look to make sure she got everything before stepping aside to push the chair back into place under the table before turning to leave.

She takes her typical route home, quick 10 minute walk from the library to the bus stop, wait 10 minutes for the bus to arrive, takes the bus to the closest stop near her apartment, and then the 5 minute walk from the bus stop to her apartment. Lyra lived in a small humble, studio apartment. It was a yearly lease that she was very content with, the apartment was perfect for her.

When you walk in there’s a tiny hallway, as soon as you’re out on your right is the tiny kitchen with the basic needed appliances, stove, fridge, microwave and a sink. On the left is the medium sized bathroom, and right ahead is a small wall that stretches out about halfway across the width of the room where a small wooden desk was pressed up against, her bed lay behind the wall, out of view of the door and anyone who comes in. Opposite the bed was a closet with all of her clothes and shoes, all strategically placed to fit without being crowded. Above the bed was another level, a metal ladder leading up to it where a small lounge area lay. It wasn’t originally there but upon pondering over how to make the apartment feel spacious without crowding things over top of each other to fit a couch and chairs for when people come over. On the second, small, level was a few pairs of chairs on one side whilst the other side had a couch. The narrow floor to ceiling window letting in the midnight sky and light from the lampposts in the street. Hanging planets and pots littered the small apartment adding some colour to the fully white walls and interior along with some wooden furniture. 

She set her things on her desk, pulling out her sandwich as she makes her way to the window to close the curtain, she manoeuvres in the dark, munching on the sandwich in hand as she makes her way to the kitchen to heat up some water, in the meantime she eats the last of her sandwich and changes into her pyjamas and proceeds to the bathroom to wash her face before she gets too lazy to do so. By the time she’s pulling her laptop and papers out the kettle starts whistling letting her know that water is done. She makes her way over to it, adds a tea packet to her mug before pouring some water and taking the mug to her desk with her. 

By 1:40, eyes drowsy, tea long gone and mug placed aside, neck aching and eyes burning from the only light in the room being right in her face, she’s done with her task. She crawls into bed and plugs her phone into the charger before she’s swallowed by sleep. 

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At exactly 11pm jisung makes his way past the building entrance and into the library, he places his bag on the main desk that is used when borrowing books. He takes a quick look around noticing the library to be practically empty, except for a woman who is emersed in her work, not noticing the new presence. Opting to get the job done with rather than wasting the little time left in his shift any longer, jisung goes around to pick up the books left behind by their previous users. Wondering how hard could it possibly be for people to return the books where they got them, it also doesn’t help that jisung still doesn’t know where every genre is and where to put most books. 

Once he had a stack of about 9  books placed on one table, he grabs a few in hand and goes around placing the ones he knows where to put them, when he has 3 left he feels a little stuck. The one at the top is an autobiography, so he walks over with all 3 in hand towards the bookshelves closest to the door and places it where it alphabetically should be. Then he holds the last two in his hand, turning away from the shelves as he stares at them. ‘David copperfield’ and ‘a brief history of life in victorian britain’. Isn’t david copperfield fiction? Should it go in fiction?

After a few seconds of contemplating he opts to check the system on the computer, that’s what sally suggests he does if he ever gets stuck. God bless her for being so patient on his first day every time he came to her with a new book he didn’t know where to place, she would guide him to every bookshelf. She did so for every one of the 30 books he placed that day, until. She showed him to use the computer to look up the books, making him thank her profusely and even almost hug her as she smiled at the younger man. 

He  leans forward, one hand holding him up as he uses the other to type the book titles. When he’s done he knows he should place david copperfield in the fictional novel section and the other book in victorian history, but where are these?

Jisung picks up the two books and slowly walks around, skimming over every section title, hyper aware of how loud his boots sound in the empty library. Wondering, is the sound too loud for her? Is it bothering her whilst she works? At his wondering he takes a quick glance in her direction to see her twirling her pen between her fingers, eyes fixed on the work in front of her. In his peripheral vision jisung noticed the title of the bookshelf in front of her desk, he looks up to read it properly. Victorian history. He pushes his glasses that have slid down, a little further up his nose bridge as he slowly makes his way to it.

He takes a quick glance as he passes by the woman’s table, trying to catch a look at what she’s doing but doesn’t understand anything so he just makes his way past her. Once in front of the shelf he reaches to place the book at the beginning but notices the books aren’t in alphabetical order, more so scattered. He looks at the book then looks back at the shelf trying to catch a pattern, too focused where the loud sound of wood pushing against the floor catches him off guard making him abruptly turn around, meeting eyes with the woman who now stood at the table she was occupying. When he does his eyes flutter quickly, mouth open just the slightest bit as his eyebrows raise a little, he stares at her for a second, one that felt like it lasted longer than it did, before he breaks out of it, flashing her a quick smile before he turns his back to her. Why did he do that? That was so lame. 

Jisung is drowned by his anxious thoughts at the few second interaction that can’t even be labelled as an interaction. He mindlessly fiddles with the books in his hand as he ponders, Did he really stare for too long? Has he possibly seen anyone this beautiful before? 

The sound of the chair scrapping the floor breaks him out of his thoughts but this time he fights the urge to turn around, he hears the sound of her feet drift further away before they're out of earshot. When he no longer hears them, he turns around to look at the empty table where the only previous company once was, then to the door where she left. Jisung stands there for a second, trying to think up what he could remember of her face. She was very beautiful, her features were so sharp, skin so bright and aura so strong he almost felt it engulf him, her eyes were soft though. So soft he almost melted where he stood as he looked into them. He’s heard of people so enticing they lure you in, their gaze so sharp they cage you, but he can’t recall being able to say that about anyone he’s met before.

Mind in a daze, jisung turns back to the shelf, shoving the book the first place his hand could reach. His arms swing by his side as he looks around for the fictional novel section to place the last book. Once he does he makes his way back to the front. 

On his way, his eyes linger at the table where the woman was when he passes. He sighs as he takes a seat at the main desk chair, beginning his last task of the night, checking the borrowed and returned list and updating the manual one and making note of tomorrow’s to be returned list. By the time he’s done it’s 1 am, and he’s been yawning for 30 minutes straight. He closes up the computer, turns off the light when he’s at the entrance with his bag in hand. As he bids farewell to the security guard at the gates he pulls out his phone as he halts a cab to go home. 

Once home he notices the lights are on, a light murmer coming from his roommate’s room. He makes his way over  and knocks gently, a soft 'come in’ is heard on the other side urging jisung to open the door. Chan is seated at his desk, body turned around to look at the door as jisung leans in, “i’m home.” 

“Welcome, did you eat?” chan asks taking his headphones off fully, “yeah i ate before i went to work, did you?” chan nods gently, dark circles under his eyes illuminated  by the desk light he had on.

“Hey if i went to work a little late do you think they’ll cut the day out or just the time?” jisung asks, chan looks to be think about it before he asks, “when did you go and when are you supposed to go?”

“11. I’m supposed to be there 6.” jisung answers sheepishly scratching his neck, “yeah consider it a free day i doubt they’ll pay you.” chan answers with a chuckle making jisung groan. “Why were you late?” 

“I forgot i was switched to the night shift, i only remembered when i was on my way home,” jisung sighs, chan looking at him sympathetically, knowing the younger has been having a difficult time recently, it was showing in his work, he just doesn’t know why. And he didn’t wish to pry, he knows jisung to talk when he wants to, when he’s comfortable enough to share. “I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

“Night,” chan’s voice makes it out before jisung closes the door and heads to his room. He gets straight into bed not bothering to change, being up since 6 having already taken him out, especially with him needing to be up at 6 again meaning he barely has 5 hours to sleep. For almost an hour he struggles to find sleep,mind clouded with thoughts of anything but sleep, overthinking coming easy to him at the late hours of the night. Some of these thoughts are of the woman at the library. What is she like? What does her voice sound like? What does her smile look like? Is she easy to make laugh? Is she funny? Would she find jisung funny? What does her laugh sound like? 

Before he’s able to ponder further he’s already snoring.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fics Still Missing part 4

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These fics are still missing suggestions!

Feat. WangxianFicFinder blog

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1. This is a bit old fic. I remember in it Wangxian are living in a cottage now, and one day WWX finds LWJ vehemently chopping wood. Turns out LWJ is punishing himself because he missed few days of “everyday” therefore he thinks he failed WWX. Do you remember what that fic was? Heh #3 on post

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2. Could you please help me find a fic? The main point was that Lan Wangji was injured in the Gusu massacre and during the turtle cave scene Wuxian gives Wangji his core. The story is canon compliant otherwise, but after Wuxian’s death Wangji learns to play the dizi and he always keeps Chenqing in his belt. I think it was a long fic (50,000+ words) and could have sworn I read it on ao3… but I can’t find it again! Help!! #12 on post

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3. Looking for a fic. Wei Wuxian goes on tour or something similar, and the tabloids post something about him cheating even though he didn’t. He’s dating Lan Wangji and even tho he knows he didn’t cheat he can’t handle the stress of having a boyfriend on tour/ far away. I think it ends with WWX coming back to LWJ and canceling his tour or something similar. Please, any help would be great!!! @/withoutwingsx  #17 on post

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4. i have given up searching for a fic on my own and turn to you. it was a modern au w/cultivation, lz and wwx were working together but wwx was not sect/family affiliated. it’s revealed at some point that wwx was manipulated by madam yu into donating his core and then basically tossed out, but no one knew the details. he’s on some kind of probation while he recovers from the core donation surgery. please help, it’s been days. @/plotwitch #4 on post

not FOUND All Old Things are New Again series by The Feels Whale (@/miscellea)

not FOUND Wei Wuxian’s Guide to Hacking for Fun and Profit by ArgentInferno

not FOUND the soft animal of your body  by sysrae

not FOUND this river runs to you by sundiscus

NOT FOUND! Where You Say My Name by trippednfell

NOT FOUND! Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy

NOT FOUND! 🧡 but his smile never dimmed by Stratisphyre

FOUND? Truth Will Out (when caught on video) by KizuKatana (E, 117k, WIP, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, modern cultivation, YZY abuses WWX, caught in camera, partial core removal, WWX expelled from Jiang sect, live streamer WWX, meet-ugly, dual cultivation)

For #27 of missing fic, it sounds vague familiar. Does the fic have wwx working freelance to catalogue/prep-clear out a seized warehouse full of dark artifacts and lz is searching for a missing dragons scale? Or is it one where they're investigating a series if grisly murders where people are used to make arrays and he works as a professor and is briefly a suspect? Or where there's sect cultivators, but also 'city cultivators' like wwx that deal with simple/animal control type & he lied for job

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5. Hello, I’m searching a MDZS fic that is a Empress Ki AU. It’s in AO3, but I cannot find it. @/annarielwen  #7 on post

FOUND? Оплачено сполна (Paid in Full) by Rubiya_Sinner (E, 49k, WangXian, ChengXian, Drama, Romance, Slavery, Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by K-Drama | Korean Drama, Loyalty, Intrigue, Ancient China, Love/Hate, Revenge, Unhealthy Relationships, Doomed Relationship, Betrayal) there is one empress ki tagged fic however it's in Russian

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6. Hi. You all do great work. I’m hoping you can help me find a fic. It’s a sweet little post cannon, birthday fic for WWX. He and LWJ go into town for food with the juniors to celebrate. All the juniors give him really nice gifts. I think JL gives him something really special and LSZ is worried that his gift isn’t as good as JL…or something along those lines. I wish I could remember more. I hope this is enough to go on. Thanks again! #10 on post

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7. Hi! I was wondering g if you could help me find a fix, I actually first knew about because of you I belive, it’s a time travel fix it fic in which both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji got send back before the sun campain, they had a meeting with the clans and basically stopped it from happening, great part of the fic is actually after all is well, like they adopt a yuan, and stuff, nobody dies. I remember Wei Ying having a panic attack and people believing they are from the future because they are inmediatly lovydovy with each other. I believe it was long, like 30 or 50 chapters? Thank ahead!  #19 on post

FOUND? We Can See a New Start by preciousbunnynoiz (M, 127k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Soulmates, Time Travel Fix-It, Biting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, but mentally they are adults, Making Out, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Happy Ending, PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive LWJ, Communication, Soul Bond, Blood, Found Family, Parent-Child Relationship, aromantic JC, Lesbian WQ, Queerplatonic Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Disassociate episodes, disassociating, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Depression, Delusions, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Attempted Sexual Assault, Therapy, Supportive JC, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Accidental Bonding, Brotherly Bonding)

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8. Hello! I am looking for the wangxian fic where Jin Ling wants to formally court Lan Sizhui. He asks wei wuxian and then asks for his help to talk to lan zhan. I know I’m the fic wei wuxian wears gusu robes during a conference and acts like the best version of a lan wife. Thank you in advance!! #15 of post

NOT FOUND! A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste

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9. hello! i can’t stop thinking about these (a bit vague) scenes from wangxian fics. could you help me find a fic where A) wei ying falls asleep as he waits for lan zhan outside the jingshi. i think it specified that he fell asleep on the porch? #16A of post

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10. Hiii i need help in finding a fanfic So i remeber that the fic starts with the author telling us that wei ying and lan zhan are happy after everything that happened and wei ying is trying to cultivate his golden core  but wei yings core is not strong enough so that he can cultivate to imortality. Lan zhan decides that he does not want to live eternaly and he ages with wei ying. Lan zhan is  sharing his spiritual energy with wei ying and this way he ie sustaining the both of them until he finally runs out of it and one day they lay in bed and they die together in the jingshi. Next thing you know they wake up in the past and i think this fic is a time travel fix it or just a time travel one i cant remeber anything else. I know i read it on AO3. Please help. @/dacika98 #18 of post

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11. Hey, I’m looking for a post-canon fic where there’s an assassination attempt on WWX with poison and LWJ is super protective and has to find the culprit. Thanks so much! #3 of post

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12. For your next fic finder… I’ve suddenly remembered this elusive  fic. I’m pretty sure it was a canon era BDSM AU (in that people have   inherent dom/sub dynamics), and WWX was a sub that had been   raised/socialized as a dom by the Jiang sect. The fic was set during the  CR study arc, and IIRC something happened in the library that caused   WWX to drop hard, revealing the truth to everybody. It’s not The Hilt  Lies Well In Hand by HeavenlySkyfarer, or A Gesture of Companionship by  Khashana. Help? #13 of post

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13. Hi, for the next fic finder I need help finding 2 fics that I read on AO3. A) During the first siege Wei Ying uses the Soul Summoning Ritual to bring back Jiang Yanli’s soul in his body and the Yanli runs to Jiang Cheng and says something like “A-Cheng it’s me.”.   B) During the Wen Settlement days one morning Wen Qing walks into Wei Ying’s cave and finds him dead on his bed. I think he died due to an illness and Wen Qing wasn’t suprised to find him dead.  Thank you for your help. @/bluekittenfire  #16 of post

13A)

FOUND! A Final Sacrifice by FrozenHawFlakes (T, <1k, major character death, Angst, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, family love, everything is worse off for everyone, except maybe JL, but he has another set of problems, What-If, Canon Divergence)

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14. I can’t find a fic where Wei Ying died at canon and woke up from coma in modern world where everyone is alive and good. And they think Wei Ying is dreaming. Wei Ying is also confused. Everyone is good even madam yu and fengmin. And he’s also lan zhans husband there. Thank u #18 of post

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15. hii!!!! im looking for a fic in which wwx is badly hurt, and the lan doctor tells him that the only way he can survive is through dual cultivation. lwj immediately goes to do the deed because he can’t stand wwx in pain. they get together in the end! but it has a little of angst! their first time is a little sad because wwx is very hurt but they love each other a lot and get quicly together! thank you #20 of post

FOUND? as amber of ember glows by occultings (microcomets) (E, 11k, WangXian, Sex Pollen, Marathon Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, First Time, Miscommunication, Aphrodisiacs, pining for the person you're fucking, Getting Together, mostly) sounds like one of occulting's fics, maybe 'as amber of ember glows' but there are several along this line so I can't be certain?

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16. Posted on instagram. LWJ and WWX were both models, WWX were kidnapped and tortured at one point because of jealous Jin Zixun  @/hid9884 2B of post

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17. Hi can you help me find a fanfic?? um wei wuxian works at a sex shop and lan wangji comes in to close it down bc his parents own it but end up falling in love where as jiang cheng works at a bar where lan xichen fall inlove w/ him and wei wuxian crazy ex (jenny I think) tries to kill him?? #3 of post

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18. Hello, can you help find this fic? The back story in this fic is yzy is cheating with wcz and wwx is yzy'son with wcz. After wwx born he was cast aside and yzy pregnant with soon after with jfm as the fathet. Wcz become a rogue cultivator while raising wwx and he meet csr. In the first chapter i think wwx is kinda kicked out by bssr to make him meet with his sibling in cloud recesses and make a peace with them. I think he introduce himself as a-xian (or it is a-ying? But i think it was a-xian). I think that’s all i can remember. Thank you! #18 of post

FOUND! The Undesirable Son by FragranceLotion97 (G, 34k, WangXian, CQL but WWX is Madam Yu's Bastard Son, It goes differently from the beginning, WWX becomes sworn brother with lxc then becomes his in law, LWJ is still whipped, There is Yin Iron, Heavily CQL with a little mix from the novel, Adding donghua into the fandom because i decide to use a lot of things from there)

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19. For the next fic finder: can you help me find a fic where wwx falls in the lake when they’re fighting the abyss, and everyone believes he dies. Weeks (or maybe months) pass, and then he washes up on the shore of the lake, somehow still alive. I think it might have been Lan Xichen pov, and he was blaming himself for losing wwx since he was in charge of the hunt. #19 of post

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20. Hello! Looking for this fic: Just before he dies, Wei Ying sees Lan Zhan being severely injured (really bad wound through the chest). When he resurrects later on, he’s certain that Lan Zhan is dead, and he’s pissed about it. But Lan Zhan isnt dead, and they find each other. Its a darkish fic with wangxian being quite in love but kind of a murder couple. Lan Xichen is kinda bad here. Meng Yao gets his head chopped off. I cant find it anywhere, it might’ve been deleted… Help? 😳 @/dreammaiden21 #3A of post

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21. Hello, I’m looking for a fic where Lan Wangji raises the Lan disciples to express their emotions healthily. I remember it ends after WWX’s resurrection with Lan Wangji crying really hard. #4 of post

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22. I watched wangxian toxic lover FF video in YouTube I want read this ff please can you search the ff story I’m try find this story but never find it’s request please can you find #9 of post

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23. Hi ! Can u find me a fic? The summary is basically future wy transports to the past where everyone is basically stuck in this cafe and they solve their emotional trauma and after that is solved both wys go back to their own timeline and everyone lives and no one dies #9 of post

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24. It’s been a while! It’s boyfriend! (Hello again! - Mod C)

There’s a fic that I have been trying to find for a while now and I forgot what it is about. All I remember is this:

- Madam Yu good so is the rest of the Jiang

- I think it’s something about time travel fix it

-The Jiang Family + Wei Wuxian talking about Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling’s weird naming of dogs and then they said something about Sect Leader Jiang naming the Sword suibian. Someone in the group said it runs in the family to which Jiang Cheng refuted it by saying his name and Yanli’s name were good names. Madam Yu just laughed and said that it was her who named them and not Jiang Fengmian.

I’m sorry that’s all I remember but anyway thank you in advance!! #13 of post

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25. Hey! There is a fic set in canon where the following scenes happen, and jiang fengmian divorces madam yu at the end.

Wei ying frequently leaves lotus pier at nights, once his room flooded while he was away. One such night, Wei ying overhears jfm n yzy arguing in a pavilion near the lake.

That day jfm had bought a comb for madame yu as a gift but couldn’t give it to her because she stormed out after blaming wwx and jfm.

Help me find this pls🙏Hi! I’m the anon who asked for a fic set in canon era where jfm divorce madam yu at the end. I remembered a few more details, here are they:

• wei ying frequently sneaks out of lotus pier to practice since he has to pretend he is lacking in front of madam yu to appease both her and jc.

• Once when he went out his room floods and yzy blames him• One night wy overhear jfm and madame yu fighting. We later learn that, that day jfm bought a comb for yzy as a gift but couldn’t give it due to her pushing him further away from having any sort of companionship.

• Jyl is an enabler in this fic and unconsciously defends jc’s actions while asking a-xian to forgive and forget. She never asks jc to apologize to wy and wy calls her out on that later in the fic when he and wens settle with the lans. #1 of post

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26. Hello, me again! 😊 Sorry to bother you, but I literally just thought of a wangxian fic I was searching for a few months ago and never found. The problem is I only recall one scene: Lan Zhan is somehow at Qiongqi Path with Wei Ying & Wen Ning when the ambush happens. I think LZ is telling WY to concentrate and not lose control as they fight… When WN is made to attack Jin Zixuan, LZ steps in between and WN’s fist goes through “him” instead. Does anyone know which fic has that scene? 🤔 @/dreammaiden21

Hello! I was #2 in the latest fic finder, and I just wanted to let you know that it was, sadly, not those two. Great fics though! 👍 But in the one I’m looking for Lan Zhan is definitely hurt in that altercation, seriously enough that Wen Qing (who treats him) fears for his life at first. Wei Ying is beside himself (duh!) and Xichen is there at some point, being worried and angry at WY for endangering his brother. I know I read it somewhere… 🤔🤔🤔 #2 of post

NOT FOUND! and so it goes by doyeorem (pomellogranate)

NOT FOUND! Home and the Heartland by Witch_Nova221

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27. Hi! Im looking for a wangxian socmed au fic wherein they are celebrities. I think LWJ is a singer and WWX is an actor who won golden globe awards three times. I remember that there are scenes that they don disguise in public and some of their fans recognize them but posted their picture in twitter hours after the fans encountered them. There’s also a scene where wwx went to an orphanage and gives red packets to the kids for new years day. Wangxian also went to Jiang Yanli’s restaurant. A scene wherein the Jiang Family took a family photo wearing family sweater. At the end of the fic, wwx win a best actor award and Yu Ziyuan was the one who presented it.  I cant find it in ao3, so it might have been deleted by the author. But maybe someone downloaded it? I really love that fic. Thank you!  @/ynariaalejo #5 of post

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28. Hi! I was wondering if you guys knew this one fic on ao3 that’s a Divergent au? I couldn’t find it around and I suspect it’s been deleted :( #12 of post

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29. I don’t remember anything else about the fic so I’m sorry in advance! I just remember that Wen Qing lived and it was her who performed the sacrifice summon instead of Mo Xuanyu so Wei Wuxian was in her body. #13 of post

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30. Hello. I read a fic where wwx was a first responder and he was also in college and lwj was his classmate and misunderstood him as a bad student because wwx was always sleeping in class. Pls help find the fic. @/rosesstarsandhim  #17 of post

FOUND? Scribbled Hearts by Caelum_the_Slytherin (Not Rated, 2k, WangXian, College/University, Misunderstandings, Crushes, goth wwx, felon wwx, Mentions of Death, Realizations, the slightest of angst)

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31. For fic finder, I remember one scene from an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience that may have involved marrying to save the Wen Remnants, wherein they’re opening their wedding gifts and are puzzled by Sect Leader Yao’s gift, a bunch of unlabeled bottles. Wei Wuxian opens one and dips a finger in to taste it and they eventually realize it’s lube and are mortified. @/rosethornewrites #1 of post

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32. Hey! I’m looking for 3 fics, @/imstillthinkingaboutithmm

A) Alternate canon setting where wei ying has an arranged marriage with a dead lan wangji. They have never met before, Lan zhan is a ghost, his dead body may or may not be present in the room. Come night wei ying can feel the cold ghostly touch of his dead husband. They eventually fall in love.

“lovers be lost (but love shall not)” looks interesting but it is not the fic i was looking for. Thanks for the rec though. This fic is set in 1910s while the fic I’m looking for was set in ancient china

C) A modern AU based on the British dating game show “Naked attraction”

Wei ying goes as a contestant and lan wangji is one of the hidden naked men. #10AC of post

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33. Hello Mods! It’s me again! Please help me find this Spy vs Spy AU with WWX vs LWJ. I can’t exactly remember, but i think it was based on that thread about how if you only slash 3 tires of your ex, the insurance won’t pay? My Dumbass forgot to save it, soooo…. I think it was them being Enemies (like from opposing spyclans maybe?) but it could have been colleagues who hate each other too… in any case it was enemies to lovers ish. Thank you soooo much! @/desperation-is-my-middle-name #11 of post

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34. Hi! I sent a query on Mar16 but I’d like to rewrite my FicFinder request Could you help me find a Wangxian fic where either Lan Zhan or Wei Ying was trained to be a feral attack dog owned by evil forces?They put a collar on him and remove it when he’s to attack their enemies. He’s able to break away from them & is welcomed into a warm & loving home. It’s not a new fic, think I read it last year. Similar to the plot of “Across the street to another life” Maybe it’s also an Unleashed AU. Thx a lot! #13 of post

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35. Hi can you help me find a wangxian fic. Is about wei ying want a place to work on his experiments and lab.. and wangji said he be safe with him in his arm sleeve.. and they make it safe for wei ying to be inside of wangji arm sleeves. @/sadritsuka12 #14 of post

FOUND? My heart in my sleeve by exmanhater (G, 2k, WangXian, Crack, Qiankun Sleeves, Sleeve Husband, Post-Canon)

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36. Does anybody know the name or have a copy of this fanfic where I believe lwj is a Lord and he has 5 wives. I believe wwx was the 2nd wife and lwj didn’t really notice him until one day he saw him playing with the other wives children. And I think one of the wives either the 1st or 3rd tried to kill him for favor. @/teamironman98 #1 of post

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37. Hello, for fic finder I want to find a short story set post canon where Wei Wuxian is transformed into a cat and keeps Jin Ling company, I vaguely remember a scene where Wei Wuxian in cat form bapped Fairy on the nose with his paw and stared in wonder at his paws possibly realising he had claws or in wonder that he touched a dog without running away screaming. I think he later figured out how to transform into his cat form at will to nap in sunbeams. Finding this story has been driving me nuts any help is greatly appreciated. @sorathemasterofmasters #16 of post

FOUND? deep and inscrutable by twigofwillow (T, 1k, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, LSZ & LJY show up briefly, poor JL suffers so much, WWX does not care for Fairy at any time, it is a beautiful morning in Lanling and you are a horrible cat, Humor) this sounds like "deep and inscrutable" by twigofwillow, it doesn't have him figuring it out but he's definitely thinking about it, and the other details match

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38. Hello, I recently remember this fic that ive read months ago and im not sure if i remember it correctly, i cant find it anymore so i hope u guys can help me with this.

- its a modern fic. wei ying is sick then he lives with the lans. i remember him going to the same school(?) with lan zhan. i think lqr told lz to take care of him smth like that. then there’s a girl that is also sick(?) there’s a scene where wy asked lz to stay with him but then lz left and chose the other girl (lz didnt know that wx is sick and he was like the girl needs me more than u) there’s a confession on a radio station(?) then when lz found out that wy is sick he ran back to him. there’s also jiang-wen family connections. wy is cousins to the jiangs and has a connection with wens, im not sure if rouhan is his grandfather or uncle or smth. then they found out there’s a scene where madam yu slapped the girl because of what she did (hurt wy) and they cut off ties (business/job) with their family

im not sure if im talking about one story or two. #17 of post

For #17 I’m sure I’ve read the fic but it was when I was early into fandom and new to AO3. Also the girl is engaged to LWJ or something. WWX already is in love with LWJ,  but he’s sick and gonna die in a year

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39. Hi there, I’m looking for a Jiang Cheng time travel story. I don’t remember the how or why but it was during the Sunshot campaighn and he remembered that Wei Wuxian didn’t seem to suffer any symptom to Demonic Cultivation after his marriage to Lan Wangji, contributing it to his healing songs, and planned to have Lan Wangji marry into Lotus Pier this time… @/krysaniar #1 of post

NOT FOUND! Brother-In-Law’s by ILikeReading101

FOUND? Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It, Lynchpin [PODFIC] by Opalsong, [PODFIC] Lynchpin by Gwogobo)

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40. Hello! Can you please help find this fic? I don’t remember much. I thing wq make a deal with sushoot soldier that she will give yiling to them in exchange of her famaly and her safety. Wwx fights with a bow and killed wzl using a bow in battle at yiling. I think that jc knows about golden core transfer because he awakened at close at the end of procedure. Thats all that i can remember. Thank you!! #3 of post

FOUND! Justified in Knowledge by Comfect (G, 50k, JC & WWX, JC/WQ, wangxian, WWX & WQ, WQ & WN, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer, Everyone Lives AU, except like WRH and WC, And probably a cast of thousands because its a war)

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41. Hi!!! I’m looking for a fic where alpha Lwj thinks ômega Wwx is a fuckboy. He decides to have one night with Wwx to see if his feelings might disappear. Wwx, who is not a fuckboy at all, thinks Lwj is in love with him too, and confesses to him some time after their one night, but Lwj turns him down rather cruelly, even insinuating he is promiscuous. He regrets it once Wwx starts crying. I also remember Wc/Wx said something about Wwx, and Lwj got into a physical fight with him before going to apologize to Wwx.

Hi, it’s number 6 from the lqst foc finder. It’s not the threadfic by Kizukatana. It was not a threadfic, it was on ao3. #6 of post

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42. Hello! I’m looking for a fic I read ages ago and only remember very little of. I think it was either a war prize or arranged marriage fic? But that could be wrong. What I do remember is that when wwx kills the big bad, everyone expects him to take the crown and be evil or something, but he immediately turns and offers the throne/crown/sword/whatever it was to lwj. Help? Thank you so much for all the wonderful work you do!! @/deathdefyinglifeleaps #11 of post

#11 Oooh, that’s a good one, but not the one I’m looking for. Thank you for reminding me that this one exists, though! (Also, sorry I’m wicked late to this? Not sure how I missed it… my bad.)

Not FOUND pitiful destiny, point your finger at me by sassybluee

FOUND? to porcelain, to ivory, to steel by sunsandships (E, 27k, WangXian, Vaguely Game of Thrones Inspired, Arranged Marriage, top!WWX, top!LWJ, Dubious Consent, Intercrural Sex, Oral Sex, Breathplay)

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43. In this fic wen ruohan will send all the sect heirs into the burial mount. Some sect heirs died and others learned demonic cultivation and came out. Jiang sect send wei wuxian to the burial mount instead of jiang cheng. #1A of post

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44. I hope you can help me with this one. Lan xichen can hear the Jiang wanyin clarity bell ringing. He eventually learn that the clarity bell rings differently according to the emotions of Jiang wanyin. Thank you very much #3C of post

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45. Hello i’m for a fic where wwx dies and everyone mourns for him (including wens in burial mounds) and everyone tried to revive him. @aycee0806​ #13 of post

Is 13 the one where WWX died right at the cusp of immortality right around when the first seige was supposed to happen, and because of that even though he was dead his body didn’t decay? So a type os glass casket/shrine was set up for him up in the Burial Mounds I think? Or is it some other fic? I know I’ve read at least one other fic with this vague premise, but either way I absolutely CANNOT remember the fic name either

FOUND? could be the deleted "When I'm gone" by qiankun_pouch. I have a copy of it. ~bluekittenfire

FOUND? If One for you, then One for us by KusakabeNAyako (T, 85k, wangxian, WIP, Canon Divergence, WN is precious Cinnamon roll, WWX is precious cinnamon roll, Rape/Non-con Elements, YLLZ WWX)

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46. HII!!, I was wondering if you have the fanfic where wei wuxian is going through a hard time bc of his gf jenny and lan wangji the son of a ceo who is working a sex shop to close it down also jiang cheng works at the bar- #15 of post

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47. Similar in vibes, also complete: WWX travels to an alternative universe, where JC died and WWX is somehow the Jiang Sect Leader. He meets LWJ at a conference. The new universes’ WWX was not friends with LWJ. LWJ’s leg was still broken after the Wen Indoctrination and never healed, so LWJ is wheelchair bound (pushed by Jingyi). WWX builds up a friendship with LWJ but I think in the end he goes back to his own universe. This one sounds like that one fic where the theme was something like ‘be careful what you wish for’, iirc WWX wanted to see either his parents or JYL alive 🤔 ~Mod L

Any help would be much appreciated! As well as any other dimension travel recs anyone has. Thanks again for this wonderful blog! @/vasterthanempires #4B of post

4BI have read but also cannot recall! Additional details, it was an alternate dimension talisman WWX created, and when he leaves any changes he might have cause are erased but somehow wheelchair!LZ starts an actual friendship with local!WWX? not sure if it was a bonus chapter or an endnote but I recall I was happy that it was a hair ending for both sets…

FOUND? empty as the sky by incendir (T, 23k, wangxian, JYL & WWX, CSSR & WWX, be careful what you wish for)

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48. I need help on finding a fic. It’s about how wei wuxian created his own sect from a past syndicate movements, he transformed it into a merchant/shops/silk road or something similar. He never went with the jiangs or any sects. When he was still on the streets he got betrayed by an “esteemed” cultivator because of false accusations (vendor told the cultivator that he caught wei wuxian stealing from him, but in actuality wei wuxian was at the wrong place at the wrong time), it was another kid that stole a toy from a merchant, if I’m not wrong. He was also a part of an illegal underground fights where he “won the bet” against the strongest fighter. He’s also claimed by wen qing to be the killer of a murder because the only one who knows around needles is herself, and she met wei wuxian and taught him the arts of needles. There’s also a wei wuxian - xue yang connection by said syndicate because the chang sect was a part of it. #9 of post

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49. hi! i’m looking for a fic where there was quarantine and wangxian went to stay at the family house (it was so big like a mansion or an apartment i don’t really remember).

remember a scene where jingyi was having a panic attack (?) and wei ying came to calm him down. they were at the balcony. i think they were adopting jingyi.

i don’t know if it is finished or deleted. #12 of post

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50. Hi I want to ask is there a wangxian fanfiction where lan zhan is a prince and wei wuxian is a huli jing and becomes his consort by forced marriage but instead wei ying is against this loveless marriage and so everytime they sleep it’s always hate s£× until he gets preg and gives birth to a yuan and tries his best to give him love until he dies protecting a yuan from a wen attack and that day he realises wangji actually loved him dies and gets reincarnated and tries to fix things @/random-online-reader #15 of post

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[softgrungeprophet]

okay just for reference

1. A leading "The" or "A(n)" should not be counted when Alphabetizing and especially not when shelving, considering your spine stickers shouldn't even include articles in the leading position. A Knight's Tale should be under K -- Knight's Tale, A -- rather than bulking up your A section with an endless throng of confusingly organized titles. This applies to more than just books btw.

2. after the first word, all words are counted as part of alphabetization (... I don't remember if this is still true following a colon/in a subtitle, or with in/definite articles, so maybe look that up or ask a librarian lol -- it is true of conjunctions and prepositions though)

3. Numerals (0-9) come before letters. Spelled-out numbers, I've seen mixed approaches and I don't have useful advice. Maybe look up ALA guidelines or something. And the number of a book in a series is more important than the subtitle for fuck's sake-- don't sort numbered books in a series by their subtitles (unless it's a book with a sub-series title such as a spinoff of a main series, like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, though I would argue that's just the full title anyway, not a subtitle)

The various Warriors series in juvenile fiction really seemed to confuse the other pages on this front, and don't even get me started on Rainbow Fairies 😭

4. Also I feel like this should go without saying but punctuation is not counted. Do not include a title's comma or quotation marks as an element in your alphabetization scheme unless it is the word "comma" spelled out lol

Now, technically spaces are counted as a character that comes before all other numerals and letters, and I'm sure there's a reason, but if your goal is easy sortability and browsing on the consumer end, I honestly think that's kinda stupid and will probably confuse people so unless you're working at like... the library of congress, or in the actual databases, i doubt it matters (at least in terms of manual shelving or browsing; like imo as a reader and ex library page, A B C, ABC and A.B.C. are the same to me and the first one getting special treatment seems weird?? Like i said there's probably a reason but as far as actual user end stuff it seems impractical)

Also I do think that Dewey Decimal falls short for shelving American comic books at libraries since it prioritizes author name rather than title, but alas it's used anyway. I find that sometimes bookstores do a better job with western comics here. Manga, at least, is pretty easy. At home I sort my American comics by series, number and chronology though, not author name.

Bonus:

Dear librarians, I love you, but: Please learn how multi-part surnames work. Guillermo del Toro's surname is not "Toro," it is "del Toro." (This is something I had to bring to a librarian to have fixed more than once)

And some advice to book publishers:

Please for the love of God hire a librarian or someone with a library science degree who knows about things like databases and title sorting. Oh my God. Honestly anyone with a website that involves tagging please for the love of god hire someone who knows literally anything about metadata and booleans

AND

As always

Take what I say with a forgetful grain of salt. If you actually need to know something for sorting purposes, look it up or ask a professional.

[sweethyune]

The taste of your lips. (series - chapter two)

— pairing : hyunjin dancer x f!reader dancer

— warnings : a lot of cursing, violence, hyunjin is very rude :,)

— please keep in mind that english isn't my native language! ^^

— word count : 1 k

— ! reader's name is Winter Ice & she has blue hair ! (will be explained why in next chapters! ^^)

Chapter two – "Morning coffee"

Hwang Samuel Hyunjin.

The day I met Winter Ice was probably the worst day of my life. Not that it was only because of her, but the fact that i was again in some new messed up place definitely scared me. But i wanted to. I had to. If she was here, she would be more than proud of me. She studied here herself twenty years ago, and i wanted to continue in her footsteps. I just wish i could hug her one last time, to breathe in her scent for the last time.

As i entered the school and looked around, my hands started to sweat. Fuck. Everyone was right now staring at me and i was sure, that all the girls that had probably tons of make up on their faces, were already trying to get my name by the way, they were staring. I grinned and walked forward with my jaw clenched, followed by the two shitheads, who for some reason had been with me since high school.

„Hyunjin man, what are you up to?" Seungmin's voice flashed behind me, looking quite amused. "That's none of your fucking business." I retorted and opened the locker to throw in the stuff i had in my gym bag. Why in the world is the closet this small?

„Let me remind you that it is my business and it was my business, when you were sitting in a police cell at a fucking police station two days ago.” He growled.

I balled my hands into fists and gritted my teeth so hard that I thought, they would fall out.

„Hyunjin.. Seungmin is right, take it easy. You don't want to fuck something up a on the very first day." Minho snorted and leaned his back against the next locker. „I'll give you both ten seconds before i swing and punch you both in the damn face." I growled and fixed my gaze on Seungmin. They probably knew i wasn't fucking joking, so both of them turned around and finally left. Fucking idiots. I had to take a deep breath and then exhale again. I felt so mad. Who gave them the right to tell me what to do?

I slammed the locker door, ignored all the curious looks around me and in THAT damn moment i felt some hot, almost boiling liquid on my stomach. „Fuck," i hissed and my eyes fell on that short blue haireded bitch, who had spilled probably her fucking morning coffee on me. „Are you fucking blind!?" I yelled at her, my mind going blurry. I pushed her, yanking the damn cup out of her hands and throwing it on the ground, spilling the rest of it.

Grabbing her hand and pressing her against my locker, where i tried to not loose it. „I'm s-sorry, i didn't see you," she almost whispered and my grip on her hand tightened so much, that she whimpered.

„You didn't what? I'm probably the tallest fucking person here and you didn't see me? Or you were just staring into this crappy cheap thing?" I raised my eyebrows and nodded my head at her phone. At that she just looked around, fear on her face. As if someone could possibly help her.

„From now on.. you have a fucking problem every time i lay my eyes on you." My eyes fell down on her hands, where she held her notebooks and ran over the name on them. „You're dead, Winter Ice." I whispered and let her go, turning around to find out, why was the hallway this quiet. And in that moment i started to yell again, blood boiling in my veins. „And what the fuck are you all staring at!?" Everyone flinched.

This school is so pathetic.

These people are pathetic.

And since that day, everyone knew that who ever dared to cross my path, gets their damn asses beated up.

masterlist

[pandajaye]

I Wanna Be With You ~ (Chapter 1)

Characters: Bang Chan x OC!Soleil

Fandom: Stray Kids/Skz

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.0k

A/N: Hello, I write a lot but this will be my first time writing a fictional version of a real person so sorry if I mess up, I love Channie and I love the thoughts I have about Channie and want to express them through writing him with a new original (black!!!! 💅🏾) character of mine, Soleil (pronounced Soh-lay). I hope this is up to some of y’all’s standards and that y’all like it, enjoy!

No matter what anyone tells you, always remember to follow your heart. It may lead you to wonderful places and new experiences. Exactly like how it led Soleil to finding the love of her life. Soleil wasn’t sure what she wanted to do when it was time for her to enter the real world. So many of her peers realized things about themselves and had future plans that seemed so impressive and successful that they made her feel like she’d be stuck in the same place forever. Eventually, she had had enough of being confused about the future and needed to figure something out.

They say that a job is not the same as a career. That you can work a job, but you want your career to be something you’re passionate about. For Soleil, that was entertainment. She absolutely loved the entertainment industry ever since she was a little girl and would swoon over Aladdin’s smile or dance along with Beyoncé on YouTube or picture herself winning her own Oscar for being cast in a big movie. She understood that a big part of the entertainment industry was the behind-the-scenes work. Like the people that helped in the dressing rooms, fixing up the entertainers to look their best. As she got older, she fell in love with makeup. From daily looks to Halloween spooks, she was obsessed with it. A lightbulb appeared over her head when she came up with a wonderful idea. Soleil would learn to work in the entertainment industry as a makeup artist!

Soleil worked hard to learn all she could about makeup and skin and how colors worked for different tones and shades. She enrolled in cosmetology college and esthetician training classes and always worked hard to be successful, some of that success coming from showing off her creativity and style. Things started out small but over time she got more and more hirings for more than just parties and proms and weddings. She was getting hired for fashion shows and television and small movies. However, even with her success, she still wanted a little more from life itself. At the age of 23, she packed up her bags, hugged her family and everything she knew goodbye, and traveled to a place on the other side of the planet. Depending on which way you go, of course.

Another one of Soleil’s loves was music. The way certain voices would hug her mind be it happy songs or emotional songs or songs meant to make you feel like you could defeat a final boss, she loved music. During her early college days, Soleil found a new genre of music that she’d never heard of before called K-Pop. Korean Pop wasn’t popular where she was from but some of her new peers seemed to know a lot about it. Listening to K-pop is actually where a lot of her new school friends came from. Out of all the groups she listened to, the band to win her heart was Stray Kids. A group of eight incredible, talented, and super handsome men that sang and danced their way into her heart. The way their beautiful and unique music and voices took control of her emotions and turned her bad days into the best days was a special kind of happiness.

Happiness. That's exactly how she felt when she looked into his eyes. Among the eight members of the group, there was the oldest, the leader, Bang Chan. Bang Chan spent years on screen, becoming a trainee at the JYPE company when he was thirteen years old. He spent seven years waiting to find his group and those seven years could definitely be described as worth it. Sure, the group had their own trials and tribulations to overcome, but they continued, and continue, to rise through the ranks and make their place in halls of fame. Growing each year, becoming close like brothers. They're a family that represents fate. Award after award, sparkling performance after sparkling performance, Stray Kids shake the music industry and make their place everywhere all around the world.

Bang Chan is also one of the groups producers, his talents are more than what he does on stage or at dance practice. He spends all night putting beats together and working his magic, which he also does with Changbin and Han, who make up rap group 3Racha when all three of them join creative forces. "I can't stay awake anymore, Channie-hyung... I think Jisung is already asleep," Changbin yawned, sitting up on the couch to stretch. "I'm going to call a car to come get us. I think we have makeup trials in the morning for the next awards performance. I don't want to fall asleep with an eyeshadow brush on my face." While Chan could hear him talk, Han... not so much, his mind was only focused on the words of this new song. Or at least on the new beat anyway.

It was going to be a new love song, something to follow up Case 143 and Winter Falls. It would be a soft melody, something you could fall asleep to because it would ease your heart so you can focus on the person you love. "Chan-hyung? Hellooo?" Changbin's voice was actually able to capture Chan's attention this time. "Huh? What is it?" Chan turned to look at the great Dwaekki man who shook his head and sighed. "Let's go. I want my bed. You, too, Jisungie." Changbin pushed on Han's leg with enough force to wake him up but not enough to hurt him. Han whined and Changbin grumbled as Chan looked up at his desktop and began signing out of everything for the night.

By the time they got downstairs, the car was sitting right outside of the door. They let Han climb in first so he could get to the backseat and sleep some more on the way to the dorms. Chan, as always, let Changbin climb in second and then climbed in himself to make sure he was the last one inside. The other two members took naps in the car, but Chan forced himself to stay awake until they got home. There was pretty much silence other than some yawns and 'Goodnight's exchanged as they all turned in for the night. As Chan fell asleep, his mind continued to play the lovely melody they had conjured up while working in the studio. He felt the ends of his mouth twitch into a smile as he thought about how his fans would feel about this new love song. He hoped they'd feel dreamy.

The next morning, alarms woke the boys from their sleep. It was time to get up and get ready for makeup trials. Even the cold water while brushing his teeth and eating an energizing breakfast couldn't wipe the sleep from Bang Chan's mind. He was still so tired from last night; he couldn't even remember what time he went to bed. In the car, he let his eyes do a few long blinks until they got back to the JYPE building. He could've sworn he was sitting on a couch the last time his eyes closed but all of a sudden, he's now waking up in a makeup chair in front of a vanity mirror. "Soleil, Bang Chan is over here in chair four. You might want to hurry before he goes back to sleep."

Chan turned to look up at the kind voice talking about him. It was Sun Yoo, one of their veteran makeup artists. "Eh, I'm not sleeping. I don't know what you're talking about," Channie mumbled, sitting up in his chair and yawning. "Suuure. I believe you." Yoo smiled, chuckling to herself while blending out Felix's smokey eye. "I'm here, I'm here!" An even kinder voice announced herself. Chan watched a new person set up her makeup supplies. She had brown to blonde ombre with dark roots. The hair was curly, kinky even, which was something he'd heard about on the internet. Her skin was sparkly and deep brown like a luxurious espresso color. It was smooth and beautiful and looked so soft. "Annyeonghaseyo, Mr. Bahng. My name is Soleil. I will be your makeup artist for the day. It's nice to meet you."

Soleil quickly did a slight bow but to Chan it lasted forever. The light from the vanity shown behind her and flowed through her curls as they bounced coming back up. Her nose was beautiful and broad, very cute. It had the slightest teddy bear look to it. Her cheeks were soft with the slight tell of cheekbones and a pretty jaw that one could lift for a perfect kiss. The only makeup she had on was lip gloss, strawberry blush, and some mascara as far as Chan could tell. Her eyes were a brown that could make even the coldest heart feel warm like a big hug in a wool blanket. They made him feel safe and protected, which made him want to protect her.

"Mr. Bahng? Hello? Uh... Bang Chan?" Soleil's head was tilted with her face in a confused pout when Chan snapped out of his gaze. "Hm? Yes, yes, that's me. I'm Bang Chan. It's nice to meet you, Soleil. I trust that if anyone can make me beautiful, it's you." Chan smiled ever so welcomingly at his new makeup artist. Soleil couldn't help but smile back at his immediate charm. "Yes, sir. I'll do my best. But between you and I, I think you look beautiful just like this. Such a handsome man." Soleil had this smile she'd do where her two front teeth would show like a cute little bunny. Kind of similar to Felix. That smile of hers, those soft, full lips that had the prettiest two-tone coloring. He shouldn't be having these thoughts about this random but perfect woman he just met but he couldn't help it. She was mesmerizing.

Once the makeup trials ended and the artists and beauticians parted ways, the other members decided to order food to pick up on the way back to the dorms. There was an intense game of rock paper scissors to decide which car would be picking up the food that day, Chan's car lost and was chosen as the delivery chariot. Together, he and Hwang Hyunjin, another amazingly charming member of the group and co-writer of the song Red Lights, entered the restaurant together since it was a big order for one person to carry.

While they waited for the food, they engaged in small talk about how the makeup trials went. Hyunjin expressed how he whined and begged for glitter shadow and surprisingly won. Chan was proud of his musical son for fighting for what he wanted. While Hyunjin continued to talk about his experience, Chan saw gold with his peripherals. He turned to see... Soleil? What were the chances that she picked the exact same restaurant as them? She was sitting at a table with Sun Yoo and some other women that worked at the company. It kind of made Chan feel buttery to know that Soleil wasn't lonely.

If only he knew he was staring at her before she turned and looked him in the eyes. He jumped and quickly looked away, his nose and cheeks and ears becoming an adorable shade of pink. He glanced back at Soleil to see her smile at him before going back to talking to her friends. "Order for Mr. Bahng," the cashier called out. Hyunjin stepped up to the counter to grab the first bags of the group's food and then Chan after him. As they headed towards the door, something told Chan to take one more look back. It was too strong of an urge to ignore, so he did. He turned around and looked at Soleil who looked up at him when she caught notice. He readjusted the food to lean against him so he could have a free hand to wave at her. The rush he got when she, and the other women at the table, waved back was so energizing. He'd been more awake now than he had been all day. He turned back around and grabbed the food with his free hand and headed on out to the car. He really hoped to see Soleil again. Soleil, the human sunflower.

[zabimarushoney67]

Heyy! I love your work and I wanted to request izuru kira from bleach hurt/comfort 💦❌️ cause it's a drought with the emo boy kira community.

Hey doll! :) I’m sorry this took so long I hope you’re still here but yes absolutely you got it! We love emo baby boy Kira around these parts 💖 I turned on my emo playlist just to set the mood for this 😭 Kira is a Mayday Parade fan all the way you can’t change my mind.

🌸Melancholy Boy🌸

NSFW!💦MDI!⚠️ANGST!❌

-Summary: After the betrayal of Aizen, with Gin and Tosen in tow life has been very stressful for the rest of us in the Gotei 13. Izuru, your boyfriend of 3 years has recently taken charge of his division. With so much more responsibility falling on his shoulders his attention towards you, and your relationship has been thrown to the side, treated like an option. At first you understood but it’s been 1 month since the attack and he can barely look in your direction, let alone hold an open conversation with you. It’s left you feeling empty and alone, not knowing how to talk to him about it, is making it difficult for a resolution to come about. Will your relationship come back together or fall to the wayside? How can it be fixed?

Word count: A LOT sorry not sorry this request got the better of me emo boys are my weakness 😭

-Warnings: Mentions of mental health/symptoms of MH (depression, anxiety), deep emotions, acknowledgment, healthy relationships, strong language, and dirty writing. Penetration!vaginal s3x. Praise k!nk, Overstimulation. Master!Sir!Daddy! k!nk. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ NSFW.

-Authors notes: woo! this was a doozy, I didn’t mean for this to be so long but I’m happy it turned out the way it did, I purposely didn’t write much about body shape (weight, height, eye/skin color etc. leaving just (c) for color for those things just for readers so y’all could insert your own body.) we’re here for smut after all 🤷🏽‍♀️ let me know if you liked this or not, reposts and likes go a long way 💖 I hope you enjoyed it otherwise! Thank you for the requests in advance :)

🌸The clouded morning sun, peaks through the sheer white curtains of your bedroom window, illuminating the dark room a pale grey. Outside, it rains softly, the drops gently pattering on the rooftop and falling down the glass window pane. It's been heavy and gloomy around the Seireitei the last few weeks following the attack of Aizen, and his group of traitors. No one saw it coming, we were taken by complete surprise and since then it seems that the clouds have yet to disperse. Y/N yawns and stretches along her side of the bed and with her left hand, feeling around the opposite side of the soft top sheet, only to find a cold empty spot next to her. “What time is it?..” she says quietly to herself as she rolls over to the alarm clock on Izuru's side, 10:39 AM the digital clock reads. “He must’ve left pretty early this morning.” she mentions sadly.

After waking and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, y/n wandered into her usual morning routine of brushing her hair, and teeth, as she decided to put on more clothing than just one of Izurus T-shirts and her black flower lace panties, choosing to just throw on her grey, comfy cotton shorts under the shirt, and some cute fuzzy pink socks as she headed downstairs into the kitchen to find something to munch on. “What to do with so much time off, when normally you're so busy?..” she questions as she ruffles through the cupboards for a granola bar and a bowl of cereal. With everything that’s happened in The Soul Society, it felt almost selfish that she requested time off for her well-being. The familiar sound of her phone vibrating on the kitchen counter catching her attention, the phone screen lighting up to a sweet picture of you and Izuru. A simpler time, it seems now. Izuru’s arm hooked around your neck, both of you smiling big underneath one of your favorite sakura trees in all of the Seireitei. It’s been your background for months and it still manages to make you smile, every time your phone lights up.

Two unread messages from: Babe❤️ read the brightly lit screen. ‘Hm Izuru.. usually he’s too busy to message me during his shifts. I hope everything is ok.’ y/n ponders as she swipes open her phone to read the two messages.

11:09 AM

🌸 “When you wake up, could you throw my laundry in the dryer for me?”

11:11 AM

🌸 “I'll be home early tonight, can you have the house clean, and dinner ready.”

‘Who does he think he's talking to??… first of all I’m on vacation? Or so I thought. Secondly, not even a good morning? A “hey how are you? Sorry, I left you home alone all last night and all morning.”... Not even a please or a thank you?..’ y/n scoffs taking a deep breath already feeling the frustration mounting, because this has been a usual thing for Kira lately. ‘He asks me to do chores around the house and asks me to run errands for him all the time, yet never does it for me, let alone thanks me for the things that I do..’ her brain couldn’t stop thinking now. It hasn’t exactly been stress and tension free between you and Izuru the last few weeks, with his added stress of taking on the duties of both Lieutenant and Captain of Squad 3 and trying to keep his squad under control, you understood why he would be grumpier than usual, tense, and tired and you've been trying to put in extra effort to keep your relationship above water. But it seems as time goes on, Izuru is falling behind you. He hasn't been the same, since Gin left. He treats you differently now, It's becoming tiring trying to figure him out. ‘What am I going to do..’ y/n sighs deeply, the weight on her shoulders returning heavier than before. She bothers not to text him back and places her phone face down on the counter. With her face in her hands, the morning has now shifted down a dark road y/n had tried desperately to stay out of, ‘I’m exhausted too Izuru.. It would be nice if you could also see that I'm struggling... Hurting. Just as much as you are.’ She shakes her head, and runs her delicate fingers through her soft (c) hair.

The Soul Society, your relationship, your home everything seems to be so out of balance now. You can’t help but feel anger and resentment towards those back stabbing cowards. Life was good before all of this easy, and routinely. Your relationship with Izuru was in such a good place, you had so many plans, you were happy. Because of this betrayal everything is changing, The Seireitei has become a much more serious place now, with everyone on edge.

With a full belly, fresh coffee brewed and made exactly how Y/N likes it, it was best for her to take the rest of the morning to relax and find something to entertain herself. ‘Chores’ needed to wait. It seems that’s all she does now, even when she’s on duty patrolling with her own squad someone is always sending y/n to do the most tedious stuff, or even when she’s on a mission in the world of the living, so many things to do… and never enough time to do it all it seems. Taking her warm coffee mug, and her phone into the cozy living space you and Izuru set up together. She curls up on the couch with her favorite blanket and a few couch pillows and sipped her morning coffee while she flipped through shows and streaming services, before finally settling on lighting some incense, turning on and listening to her favorite playlist, and reading a book instead. With the rain still falling gently outside the soft droplets making a ‘tap, tap tap, tap’ on the living room windows, hours had gone by, y/n fully losing and immersing herself in her dark, fictional world through the crisp pages, while the haunting lyrics of Don’t You Dare Forget the Sun danced around the fragrant, dimly lit room.

4:45 PM

Y/Ns phone buzzes once more. Another message from Izuru. “What does he want now?..” she remarks quietly and quickly snaps out of her book and back into reality as she sees her phone light up with one unopened message from: Babe❤️ on the screen.

🌸 “ Hey, I’m gonna be home at 5 tonight. I hope you’ve had a good day today.”

Taken by complete surprise that Izuru finally, and actually acknowledged her this time around, y/n unlocks her phone and replies:

🌸 “okay, see you then.”

🌸 “I Love you.”

Y/N places her phone back down on the couch, not responding further and gets up to lightly pick up and organize the house, and throws Izuru’s clothes into the dryer for him. Opting out of making dinner, and calling for take out instead. She climbs back into her spot stretched out on the couch and throws on a show to kill off the last minutes of Izuru’s disappearance. You’ve missed him all day, you admit to yourself. Wishing and hoping that he’s in a good enough mood to spend some time together tonight. Sighing and hugging a pillow you sink into your couch and drown out anymore of those pestering thoughts with a ridiculous anime on the living room TV.

5:15 PM

The front doorknob wiggles and clanks with the sound of Izuru’s house keys working the lock to get into the house. Y/N sits up from her nest on the couch and looks to the door as Izuru comes in, back facing you, sighing softly as he sets his zanpakto next to yours, and his other gear next to the front door. He sheds his shihakusho right there leaving him shirtless, his hakama loosely held in place by his belt. “Hey..” you say softly “how was your day..?” Izuru comes around the couch and plops down heavily on the cushion next to you, he smelled of fresh rain, fire smoke, sweat, and a hint of his usual warm vanilla musk cologne, such a interesting and heady combination that fills your nostrils, you can’t help but breathe in deeply a few times savoring his scent.

While rubbing the back of his neck and stretching out his legs, his feet in front of him, “It was alright…” he responded dryly, not saying much else about it, he relaxes into the couch with his head laying on the back cushion, eyes closed. “Is dinner ready? I’m starving.” He remarks to you. “I ordered take out, cooking just sounded like to much work tonight.. it should be here soon.” Izuru looks at you with hooded and tired blue eyes, the bags underneath them visible even in the dim living room light. Izuru places his warm rough hand on your thigh and gives it a loving squeeze, you can feel how thick his callouses have become as his hand laid upon your soft skin, thumb stroking comforting lines back and forth, Izuru lays his head back onto the couch cushion and breathes quietly and steadily. The weather outside, was growing more intense as the night progressed. Dark clouds swirled over the house, as a storm was approaching for the night.

The silence was deafening, all that you could hear was the soft noise from the TV, Izuru’s breathing, and your loud thumping heartbeat in your ears. It has never been this hard for you and Izuru to relate to each other, the tension y/n felt in the room was suffocating and almost unbearable, after all he was your best friend, and it was so hard to see him so beaten down, quiet, and distant. Your eyes gazed, studying Izuru’s form. He’s gotten a lot stronger, leaner, his abs even in a relaxed state we’re chiseled and defined, rising slowly with each inhale and exhale. His collarbones were peaking out shyly under his neck, his forearms have grown in size, the veins bulging out at his wrist and up to his elbow. The harsh training was paying off, despite him coming home exhausted and drained every night… ‘mmmph… wow, he looks so fucking yummy. Maybe he’ll want to…’ you think impulsively, reactively almost, sending shockwaves down your spine into the depths of your belly, giving you goosebumps down your neck. It has been awhile since you’ve got to feel.. all of Izuru. Biting your lower lip as your eyes wandered lower to his soft light blonde happy trail from his belly button to his belt, you gently place your hand over his and give it a gentle squeeze, shooing away those shivers, and incredible memories of sex with Izuru away from your brain.

5:40 PM

There was a ring of the doorbell and a gentle knock at the front door, signifying that take out had finally arrived. “I’ll get it..” Izuru says as he releases your hand and gets up from his seat, gently patting your head as he heads to the front door. He pays for the food and tips the delivery driver and takes the food to the coffee table before heading to the kitchen for plates, silverware, and two cold beers for you and him.

You guys ate in silence together, focusing on eating rather than socializing and watching TV. Once finished Izuru takes your plates, and empty beer bottles to the kitchen. Y/N cleans up whatever leftovers there were, and brings them to the fridge to put them away. In the kitchen, you see Izuru washing the 3 day dish pile up in the sink, feeling kind of bad that you had all day to do them but didn’t. Usually you guys tackled all the chores together, and the house was always spotless. Over the last few weeks, the mess slowly started to accumulate as your schedules got busier and you and Izuru spent less and less time at home. Y/N slinks up behind Izuru and wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his skin softly over and over, laying her warm cheek on his strong back. “Thank you for doing the dishes.” Y/N says appreciatively, “It’s my home too, I’m almost finished here.” He says placing the last few dishes in the dish rack to dry “I’m gonna jump in the shower.” Izuru says coldly as he drys his hands and walks out of the kitchen, not saying anything else leaving y/n standing there alone under the iridescent light. ‘..Oh, I’m sorry for bothering you’ y/ns mind sinks in the mud, as she walks to the couch heart feeling heavier than ever, after the exchange.

6:49PM

Standing in front of the steam covered mirror, towel wrapped neatly around his hips, Izuru leans over the sink, wet hair dripping on the counter and into the sink as he takes a deep breath of the humid air and breathes out slowly. ‘I have yet another busy and early day tomorrow..‘ Izuru’s mind has been so clogged, with all the events over the last few weeks he can barely think straight most of the time. Burned out and detached was all he could really feel as he tried searching his mind for a semblance of calm. Izuru sighs deeply and closes his eyes as memories of Gin, and that day replay in his mind like it happened yesterday, making his head ache. He wipes away the steam from the mirror and finishes his nightly ritual with haste. Leaving the upstairs bathroom, steam rolling out behind him as he walks to your shared bedroom, not bothering to close the door behind him to dress. He hears a faint sniffling coming from the living room that he soon drowns out, believing it’s just the show on the TV playing. He dries off and throws on black boxer briefs and green plaid pajama pants and walks downstairs to the living room, squeezing out the water in his hair with his towel on the way.

6:55 PM

Upon arrival, he notices the TV is off and y/n is sitting on the couch wiping her eyes and nose with his shirt, shuddering breaths as she tries to self soothe. “Hey, whats the matter?” Izuru says worriedly and approaches y/n from behind placing his towel over the back of the couch and crouching down in front of her. “… nothing.” Y/N says, biting her tongue and choosing to be silent in order not to put any more problems on Izuru’s shoulders. “Well that’s a lie. Your eyes are red and puffy and you’re sniffling. I’m not stupid you know?…” “C’mon, you can tell me.” Izuru coos as he cups y/n face gently and strokes her cheeks with his thumbs. Y/N whimpers softly as tears well up in her big (c) eyes and spill over, rolling down her cheeks once more, the dam in her heart breaking down completely as she sobbed hard into Izuru’s hands. “I m-miss y-yo-you. S-s-so much..” she choked out in between sobs and sniffles. “You’re always gone now and I’m always alone, you didn’t come home till late last night and you were gone this morning and I’m always doin stuff with never enough time, a-a-and, and, and..” she rambled on, not evening knowing what to say through all the pain she felt in her throat and chest. “Woah.. hey, y/n.. it’s alright don’t cry.” Izuru said in attempts to calm you down, wiping your tears away and brushing your hair out of your eyes and behind your ear. “Use your words, it’s okay y/n.” He reassures you in a gentle tone.

Taking a deep but broken breath, y/n closes her eyes and takes his hands off her face. “.. things just have not been the same babe, I feel like I’m the only one who wants this relationship anymore… I do everything I can and… I still feel less than, like I don’t matter.” Y/N says quietly, avoiding his gaze. Thunder outside booms, as the rain started to fall heavy this time. The wind blew hard against the house making it creak in rebellion. “Today.. or everyday really, feels like so much. I just don’t know how to keep going anymore.. I want you home again. I just want things to go back to normal.” Y/N says sadly, looking down. Izuru looking very concerned as he takes a seat close to you and wraps his arms around you and holds you close to his chest. “Oh babe…” “I’m sorry..” Izuru responds, sounding defeated “I’m sorry y/n, really I am. I’ve been so lost in myself and my duties I didn’t even see… or begin to realize how badly you were suffering through all this.” He acknowledges and squeezes you hard, making you cry some more into his chest. Izuru lays his head on top of yours and rubs your arms, as he felt you cry into him. Breathing in his clean manly scent slowly but surely calmed you down, the sobs turning into sniffles and eventually silence as you relaxed deeply into Izuru’s chest, hearing his heart beat steadily.

After sitting like this awhile, the rain continuing to fall outside. Y/N breaks free from his arms, “We’re gonna be okay? Right?” Y/N whispers, looking directly into Izuru’s deep blue eyes “We’re gonna be okay baby, don’t worry about a thing. I love you so much, more then you realize, I’m sorry I haven’t been expressing that to you like you deserve lately.” “I’ll do better, I promise you.” Izuru leans in and kisses you hard, lips locking in place as he places his hand on your neck deepening the kiss, a soft moan escapes your mouth that is easily dissolved by Izuru and the sudden passion that was taking over the energy between the two of you. Suddenly the room started to feel hot, your body temperature rising as those earlier thoughts of Izuru’s strong hands caressing your body, and his body weight pushing his hard cock into your tight slippery hole flood back into your mind, instinctively your hands cup his face as you let your tongue slip into Izuru’s mouth, accepting you willingly he groans as your tongues play together, twisting around each other, saliva mixing as wet kissing noises started to fill the quiet living room.

Izuru’s hands glide down from your neck to your waist as he pulls you on to his lap so you’re straddling his thighs, pushing you into his groin as you feel his cock stir awake underneath your butt. Y/N leans onto his chest, her breast perching on his muscled chest and kisses Izuru deeply, biting at his lower lip and tugging it gently before releasing it and looking at Izuru’s red blushed face “I love you Izuru, so much.” She says before grabbing his face and pulling him back into a sloppy make out session. Grinding her hips against Izuru’s thighs, encouraging his dick to get harder in his boxers to make a tent big enough to grind her throbbing wet slit against. Y/N moans into Izuru’s mouth as she feels his cock twitch hard against her core. “I’ve missed you.. I miss this..” y/n says breathlessly “Miss what?” Izuru says before grabbing y/n wrists with his hands and pushes her into the couch cushions laying over top of her, keeping her wrists in place, pinning her hips against his uncomfortably hard cock. Y/N whimpers underneath him, biting her lip and looking up at Izuru’s smoldering expression, “I can’t hear you kitten.” Izuru says in a serious tone, all aspects of playfulness disappearing. “I.. I miss sirs big cock inside..” she says shyly, “inside where?” Izuru demands, grinding his hips against your aching core grunting as the fabric between you and him gives zero to no relief to his throbbing cock but enough friction that he keeps grinding his hips, heavy precum dripping from his head making his boxers a mess. He’s missed you just as much as you him, he’s come to realize as pleasure rips through his body thinking about sinking his fingers inside your dripping wet core. “Inside.. my greedy pussy sir.” Y/N says innocently as she tries to hide her face in her arm, embarrassed and blushed pink.

Izuru grabs your chin with his free hand and turns your face towards his, forcing you to look up at him. He places his thumb over your soft lips pushing gently wanting you to take it in your mouth. Y/N parts her lips and takes his thumb in her warm wet mouth and sucks softly, causing Izuru to groan his knees almost buckling at the sight “you’re so goddamn sexy, baby.” he says biting his lip as he looks down at how cute you look going into your sub space for him so quickly. ‘God look at you.. your eyes are still red and puffy… but they’re sparkling so preciously at me.. her soft pink lips swollen from our intense kisses. Fuck she’s so gorgeous, how can I be so stupid?… this woman is gonna be the death of me, and I’m okay with that.’ Izuru notes in his brain, as he releases your wrists, pulls his thumb out of your mouth and moves his hands to the hem of your (his) shirt, undressing you quickly exposing your breasts and nipples to the cold living room air. Your nipples perk up immediately as the cold air wraps around your upper body, Izuru then fumbles around with the cute little bow you tied in your shorts strings to remove your shorts, his eyes eating you up and drinking you in like you were his salvation, his rapture. His eyes gazed down your body, mesmerized completely until he saw your panties. “Isn’t this the pair I got for you on our first anniversary?” He questioned raising his eyebrow at you as he lightly traced the little flowers with his fingers and over your dripping cunt. Putting pressure over your clit through the fabric, as he waited for you to answer. Y/N yelps cutely as his expert fingers gently toy with her pussy through the fabric, her hands resting on her tummy “yes sir… they’re my favorite pair.” She replies and smiles up at Izuru. “You’ve always looked so cute in them.” He mentions sweetly, and he beams back at you. “I’m trying to get inside them though..” he says darkly, smile vanishing as he pulls them down the length of your thighs, over your calves with no remorse.

Completely naked now, and feeling a little exposed y/n giggles as she watches Izuru fumble out of his own clothing, piling them on the floor with everything else. His hard cock finally free and out in the open, ‘when was the last time I’ve seen him completely naked?..hmm he really is a god amongst men. I’m so fucking lucky.’ y/n thinks distractedly, eating Izuru alive with her eyes. Looking him up and down in all his glory, his strong body now fully exposed to her, blushing deeply as her eyes can’t stop glancing at his perfect cock. Slightly curved upwards, deep pink head with pre coating his slit, naturally ribbed with veins running down his shaft and up his V line. ‘Trimmed too?.. fuck. So you thought about it too then huh?’ Y/n noted as she looked up his body, eyes resting on his perfect ass and muscular back.

Finished undressing, Izuru climbs back onto the cramped couch with you, ringing his arms around your thighs pulling you harshly down so his face was level with your pussy. The sudden movement makes y/n gasp in surprise, rocking her back into the present moment from her dreamy headspace. “I wanna show you just how much I love you tonight.. I’ve missed you so much baby.” He coos softly up at you. The scene you were presented with… Izuru’s beautiful face looking up at you from between your soft plush thighs was tantalizing enough, you bite your lip and thread your hands and fingers through his hair pushing it out and away from his face, so he could get to work. Without breaking eye contact, Izuru unwraps one arm and uses his fingers to spread your wet folds apart, the other arm flexing and jerking your leg open to keep it in place. He breathes you in deeply and kisses both your inner thighs repeatedly, then each lip, before he takes your whole slit into his mouth sucking and licking every last bit of your pussy. His tongue digging into your hole as he begins to eat you out. Izuru sucks and gently tugs on your clit with his lips, your juices dripping down his mouth and onto the couch, ‘god she tastes so heavenly…’ Izuru moans appreciatively at your flavor. Sweet, with a little tanginess bringing him forward into complete bliss, Izuru closes his eyes and savors every last drop of you, sucking and licking you up like a melting popsicle. Y/N moans out loud and pushes Izuru’s face deeper into her core grinding her hips against his face and fervent mouth. “Unnnghh.. that’s so fucking good daddy don’t st-st-stop.” Y/N says unashamedly as she tugs at his soft blonde hair hard causing Izuru to groan against her swollen lips, the vibrations being sent directly to her belly and hips as she felt that familiar warm sensation creeping up her legs. “You’re gonna make me fucking c-cum, fuck!” Y/N moans wildly and throws her head back as her orgasm grows closer to snapping at any moment, with the continued movements of Izuru’s swirling wet tongue.

Taking the fingers he was using to spread your labia, he slides the two fingers inside your dripping pussy, while he moves them at a steady pace and puts the exact right amount of pressure on your spongey gspot, with that he could feel the exact moment your orgasm ripped through your whole body. “Oh my GOD!! IZURUUUU YES!” Y/N screams and cums so hard she squirts all over Izuru’s mouth and chest, desperately trying to escape his arms to no avail. The couch now completely soaked in y/n’s juices, with his fingers still inside he continues to play with your spot pushing up and towards him faster and faster while he speeds up the movement of his tongue, flicking over your sensitive and throbbing clit. Overstimulating y/n was one of Izuru’s favorite pastimes, the way she squirms and begs for him to stop his assault on her clit, turns him on so much he unknowingly started to grind his cock into the couch for even just a little relief. Izuru looks up at you with your pussy still in his mouth and finger fucks you until your 2nd orgasm starts to slowly rewind in your belly. Y/N releases Izuru’s hair after cumming and lays back panting hard, legs shaking and body still involuntarily jerking because of Izuru still toying and playing with your slit. “Baby pleaseeee..” y/n begs longingly “I need you inside me now, sir.” “Getting demanding now are we babe?” Izuru quirks playfully, releasing you from his hold because he too was getting eager now, he admitted to himself.

After finishing his (2nd) meal, Izuru sits up on his knees and wipes his mouth with the back his hand. His cock is red and swollen now from the lack of stimulation. Trying to sit up to return the favor y/n is suddenly pushed back into position against the couch by Izuru, he places himself in between your legs, his big hands ride up the back of your thighs as he pushes your knees up to your shoulders putting you in a fetal like position. Izuru grabs the base of his hard cock and pushes his head into your throughly eaten hole, but just the head. “You just lay down and look real pretty while I drill this tight little pussy just the way you like it babe..” he says cooly. Inch by Inch he slowly sinks himself into your depths, impossible to hold his moans back, and feeling how wet you are for him “f-ffuuuuckkk baby… you’re so sweet and tight for me.” Izuru’s shutters, his face softening as he praises you and bottoms out, his full balls resting on your ass. Y/N gasps at the sheer girth of him, Izuru’s cock fits so perfectly inside of you like it was made just for you, each rib of his cock filling and rubbing your walls so good. Izuru stretches your legs out so they’re resting on his shoulders, he leans forward so your pinned underneath his body. His cock going impossibly deeper into you, causing breathy moans to break from your lips. “Ohhh.. Izuru baby, you feel so goooood..” y/n says feeling all of him inside her now, “I haven’t even started yet love.” He chuckles and smiles down at you, before he pulls out and slams back into your pussy, hard. Y/N yelps out, loudly this time and covers her mouth with her hand, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden movement. “Don’t do that..” Izuru huffs as he removes your hand from your mouth, “let me here you scream for daddy.” He says as he really starts to move, his cock ramming into you over and over, relentlessly. Izuru throws his head back and groans loudly as he finds a comfortable rhythm to fuck you too. “God your pussy is so fucking perfect… I miss feeling all of you baby..” he says to you in a forced but hushed tone, trying hard not to cum so soon. “I want to be in you forever.” Izuru claims and pushes your legs to his waist so he can get as close to you as he can, his face instinctively going to the crook of your neck breathing you in. His left hand coming up to cup your soft boob, rubbing and playing with your sensitive nipple while he moved his hips at a slower pace, in hopes this would help him last. His orgasm approaching quicker than he’d like.

The storm was still raging on outside, thunder rolling and lightning flashing through the small slit in the living room curtains. The rain weltering against the windows hard. The scary weather outside was not gonna stop either of you from your current festivities. Y/N wraps her legs around Izuru’s hips as he fills her up, his balls slapping noisily against her butt. So much passion filled the space around and between you and him, no thoughts were processed and no words were spoken just gasps and moans filled the room. He felt so good inside of you. With his warm, heavy body laying against yours. His long slender fingers toying with your sensitive nipple and his breath ragged against your ear, moaning at the feeling of your slick, and creamy pussy sucking him in hungrily. Izuru’s head had begun to spin, as his balls tightened up signaling he was about to cum. Y/Ns soft hands roamed Izuru’s strong back feeling his muscles rippling underneath her palms before settling on his chiseled shoulders. “I don’t.. don’t think I’m gonna last.. much longer. Gonna fucking c-cum.” Izuru pants against you. His cock started to twitch inside, pushing up against your sensitive spot causing y/n to cry out loudly, tears pricking the edge of her eyes. Hearing him speak such things to you tonight was sending you completely over the edge, but that.. what he just said that was the last puzzle piece you needed that sent you straight into your next orgasm. Y/N cry’s loudly as her 2nd orgasm takes over her body like a freight train. Cumming harder the second time than the first, gushing even more all over Izuru’s cock and body. The squeezing and pulsing around his cock did Izuru in, his face contorting with pure bliss, he moans loudly before pulling out and shooting his warm load all of your stomach and breasts, grunting with each shot and thrusting his cock in his fist as he held on through his orgasm, the strong waves rolling through his entire body, leaving him shuttering and shaking. Completely spent now, his cock going soft as he sat there panting and sweaty. Izuru looks down at you, a complete mess covered in your mixed fluids, fucked dumb, panting, and shiny with sweat just like him. He smiles at you with blushed cheeks “you looks so beautiful baby..” he states as he climbs from the now bodily fluid soaked couch giving you room to sit up and recompose yourself. “Let me go and run us a shower babe, wait here.” He says before disappearing upstairs to restart the shower he had already taken.

10:45 PM

Before getting a chance to come downstairs to get you, y/n appears at the bathroom doorway reaching for the hand towel to clean herself up quickly before stepping into the shower with Izuru. Izuru turns away from the shower and sees y/n wiping herself down, stepping towards her and wrapping his arms around her and kissing her shoulders, upper back, and neck, giving her a tight squeeze from behind. “I love you so much y/n. Please never forget that, I’m always gonna be yours.” Izuru says against her chilled skin kissing between each word. “Cmon let’s get you cleaned up.” He says before taking a hand in yours and leading you to the now warm shower. Rinsing you down and washing your body gently, kissing your soft, clean skin, and face repeatedly. After the shower y/n brushes her teeth and hair and dresses in a loose fitted shirt, cotton pink panties yawning her way into the warm bed next to Izuru, who lazily wraps the comforter and his long arms around you and pulls you into his chest. “I’ll bring you the sun, moon, and stars someday my love. Goodnight, beautiful…” he promises sleepily before dozing off soundly. Y/N curled up against his chest, warm, and exhausted hearing his words resonate soundly in her skull ‘sun, moon, and stars huh.. I really am so lucky to have you, Izuru Kira, my melancholy boy. I’m glad to have you back.’ Y/N smiles as she thinks to herself, nuzzling closer to Izuru before dozing off into a deep sleep tangled up in the arms and legs of her lover boy. With the storm outside coming to an end, the residual drops from the rooftop gently tapping against the glass window pane, the night sky clearing and the moonlight shining bright through the curtains, over the gently sleeping forms, of both y/n and Izuru..

End..🌸💕

🌸BLEACH REQUESTS ARE OPEN🌸

— Thanks for reading! I had so much fun writing this 💕I hope this is similar to what you wanted. lmk if not, I’ll take all the constructive criticism I can get to help me get better at writing 🥺

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey, Steph! Hope you’re well today. Was wondering if you had any really long, slow-burn case fics? Thanks for helping me feed my recently developed sherlock obsession lol <3

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh see I'm DUMB and I don't think ahead on if people with specifically want two genres of fics together, LOL. Sooooooooo I'm going to use your ask as an excuse to post up the next part of my Case Fics list that I've had drafted for months, but if you want some longer fics, start at the bottom and work your way up, since I put things in ascending word count order, LOL. On this and all my other lists!! I hope you'll still enjoy what I've selected for you, and will check out my other lists :)

And as always, friends, feel free to add more!!

CASE FICS Pt. 4

See also:

Case Fics || [MOBILE]

Case Fics Pt 2

Case Fics Pt 3

Serial Killer Case Fics/ Serial Killer AU

For a Case Trope

Fake Relationship / For a Case Part 2

For a Case Pt 3

Fake Relationship / For a Case Pt. 4

Fake Relationship / For a Case Pt. 5

Fake Relationship / For a Case Pt. 6

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro  (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Cadet Holmes: A Detective Undercover by Talizora (E, 6,388 w., 1 Ch. || Military Kink, Public Sex, Homophobia, Captain John, Gay Sherlock, PWP, Case Fic) – Sherlock took a deep breath and reached out to lightly brush his fingers across the heavy fabric of the uniform. The shudder that rocked through his whole body was entirely involuntary and hateful. He needed to get over this reaction fast because if he was this affected by an empty uniform on a bed how would he deal with being surrounded by fit men wearing the uniforms while they got hot and sweaty. Part 4 of the My Tumblr Ficlets and Drabbles series

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Rupert Street by WritingOutLoud (M, 27,262 w., 9 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Case Fic, Sexuality, Demisexual Sherlock, Drugging, Smart John, Sherlock Has Internalized Biphobia, Fluff, Angst with Happy Ending, Gay Bar, Flirting, John Manipulates Sherlock to Eat, John Deduces, Arguments, Kidnapping/Torture, Hospitalization, John Whump) – Discharged from the war with nothing but the clothes on his back and a realisation of his bisexuality, John Watson has to learn who he’s become. He can’t afford London on an army pension, but the city is the only friend he has. In an effort to understand his newfound queer identity, he heads to a bar one night, where he stumbles across a mysterious stranger who turns his life upside down. ‘I dug around inside myself, and I'm not quite sure what I found, but it was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.’

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

You Might Just as Well Be Blind by ArwaMachine (E, 56,625 w., 12 Ch. || Fake Relationship, For a Case, Bed Sharing, Platonic Cuddling, Jealous Sherlock, Oblivious John, BAMF Hudders, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, Case Fic, Flirting, Pining John, POV John, Toplock, Possessive Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Infidelity) – When a serial killer starts targeting couples, Sherlock and John must do what they have to do in order to get to the bottom of things. Unfortunately, John already has a girlfriend. Surely pretending to be in a relationship with Sherlock won't pose any problems with his relationship, will it?

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.