#to even Mention saving aylin

[anteomnia]

i could write an essay on why wyll’s character is mistreated by the writers and developers of bg3, but i’d be afraid of putting more effort into his story than them.

[slverblood]

All the discussions re: religion in this game has me thinking about how Aylin’s relationship with Selûne is, I would say, positive but not even it is safe from questions of agency and self-determination. In fact, they’re the central themes of her story.

[astarionancuntnin]

listen, obviously i love astarion for multiple reasons, but ironically when i first started the game i wasnt interested in him, at all. i was fully commited to finding karlach and dating her bc of what i had seen online about her. i had barely heard or seen anything about him other than him being "the flirty vampire" and i was like eh okay

i ended up keeping him in my party cause his remarks were hilarious and i really vibed with his energy. and then he started opening up and you get to see how the whole overconfidence and flirting was an act, he starts talking about cazador and what he went through and how determinate he is to take him down. he keeps mentioning how he cannot wait to get rid of his master and how satisfied hes going to be, and hes smiling just thinking about it

then we learn about the ritual and theres this sudden spark in him, hes convinced that its the answer to his problems, he gets tunnel vision on the ritual, and if you romance him he also thinks its the only way he can assure not only his own safety, but also yours.

and when you finally win the fight, you have to save him from himself. hes desperate, completely blinded by the power he could potentially have. if he has this power, hes never going to be vulnerable, no one will abuse him ever again.

he is willing to lose himself to make sure he never gets hurt like this. even with high approval, if you dont succeed a persuasion roll or refuse to help him, he either turns against you or leaves your party. in his eyes, at this moment, you are the one who turned against him.

if you suceed the persuasion roll, he agrees that he can be better than cazador, and before stabbing him repeatedly, mentions (again) how hes going to enjoy this

only to break down right after. even though its something hes been wanting to do for centuries, all the suffering hes been through came crumbling down after it was done. cazador is dead, hes the one who killed him, he finally got his revenge, and yet he feels this emptiness.

its done, why do i not feel better?

if you saved him, he talks to you later and admits how he wasn't himself, how thankful he is that you helped him out and most of all, you believed in him. you saved him by believing he could be more than what he saw in himself.

if you talk to him after completing dame aylin's quest in act 3 (after killing cazador), he mentions how he expected her to rejoice after defeating yet another person who intended to enslave her, but shes just tired. hes comparing her reaction to his own experience after freeing himself from his abuser

and after karlach's reaction to killing gortash, he brings up the fact that theres "no justice in this world". contrary to what he believed earlier in the game, its not only him thats been wronged for several years. even though in the end they all got to get rid of the people who ruined their lives, they are still hurting.

hes realising that killing your abuser, although it seemed like the simple, satisying solution of finally having your revenge from years of trauma, might free you, but it will not fix you. they're dead, but you still have to live with what they've done to you.

he is my roman empire

[autistichalsin]

My "Halsin is Silvanus's Chosen and Thaniel is Silvanus's son" theory

So first off, there's definitely precedent for children of gods here, what with Dame Aylin.

Thematically it would make sense. Aylin is tied in with the Shadow Curse plot, the daughter of Selune held hostage in a Sharran temple, while Thaniel, if my theory held true, would be the son of Silvanus, kidnapped by Sharrans and forced into the Shadowfell. Aylin had to be saved by Shadowheart, and Thaniel had to be saved by Halsin. Thaniel and Oliver are even explicitly said to be immortal as nature spirits, much like how Aylin is immortal to anything but Shar's spear. The comparisons would just be too perfect, thematically.

Thaniel was Halsin's first friend, as he mentioned. Of course it's fitting that nature was Halsin's first friend, and that wanting to protect him drove him to become a furious guardian of nature itself. But wouldn't it be even MORE fitting if Thaniel was also the son of nature? If either Silvanus guided them towards each other, or Thaniel told his father about Halsin and his potential, drawing Silvanus's attention to the man he'll one day make his Chosen?

Thaniel even looks like he could be Silvanus's- Silvanus has a deep affinity for deer, to the point that one of his three main humanoid forms he takes has deer antlers. Just like how Thaniel has tiny little deer horns! And where does Thaniel live? The Western Heartlands, which were once called the Hartlands because of the abundance of deer.

As for Halsin being Silvanus's Chosen? I feel like that one is a lot more easy to see than the Thaniel one. Halsin is an extremely powerful Druid with even deeper ties to nature than even most other Druids. He was the only one with the power (and, if we still count the explanation in Early Access as canon, the wisdom, understanding, and empathy with the sufferers of the curse, both the land and its inhabitants) to break the Shadow Curse. Halsin explicitly has Silvanus's favor; "it took my years of study, of seeking the Oak Father's favor, to find a way to part the veil." Halsin has favor with Silvanus over other Druids, and this was what allowed him to save Thaniel.

It would be thematically fitting yet again- Shar cursed nature, and Thaniel itself, and set Shadowheart to kill Aylin (and if Shadowheart does so, she becomes Shar's Chosen); it would make sense if freeing nature was done by Silvanus's Chosen too, and that's before you add in the fights against the Chosen of the Dead Three and the "Tav is Jergal's Chosen" theory. Then you add that: Shadowheart can turn from Shar back to Selune; Silvanus and Selune are allies; and Halsin's Circle within the Druids is Circle of the Moon. It just fits in so many little thematic ways, tying in the moon/darkness with the land and how Shadowheart has the possibility to either work against the nature god's Chosen as the Chosen of the Goddess of darkness and loss, or as a devotee of the goddess of the moon.

Then there's other little things, like how Halsin is so in tune with his wildshape that he's more bear than elf, and also fiercely protective of children; how he's an incredible healer AND fighter when most under him seem to be one or the other, etc.

And lastly: there's hints in the game that Halsin seems himself as something of a father to Thaniel and Oliver. It would make it extra adorable, then, if Halsin, Chosen of Silvanus, was taking care of Silvanus's sons like a father himself!

[optiwashere]

Hello! If you're still taking prompts, B2 with Aylin and Isobel just... calls to me. Perhaps it will to you too, but thank you for doing these in any case ^^

Heya anon! I definitely see the Vision for that prompt, so I feel you on that. I'm happy you're enjoying these, and thank you for asking for this one! 💜

---

B2. Scars

"They are horrible, are they not?"

Isobel glanced up from Aylin's body, surprised by her words. They lay together in their sequestered place within the camp of the same adventurers that saved Aylin. It took all of Isobel's will not to remain nestled in Aylin's arms sometimes, and it was even worse for Aylin.

There were mornings when Aylin pulled Isobel back to her. Refused to part from Isobel. They spent morning after morning together. Isobel would hardly have called it a waste of those hours.

That morning, Aylin lay shirtless in their shared tent. Isobel traced with her finger each web of scars that marked Aylin like a fulgurous display of the Lady of Silver's resilience; her strength as a daughter of the Moonmaiden worn on her skin now. They simply made her more beautiful, in Isobel's eyes.

"Do you think they're horrible?" asked Isobel, lifting her fingers from Aylin. "I suppose you would. Reminders, aren't they?"

"Reminders of my naivete in trusting a cur like Balthazar," Aylin hissed. She set her jaw to one side, anger flashing in her eyes. "And your traitorous father."

Isobel ignored her comment. In time, she would deal with what her father had done, but at that moment she did not want to discuss it with Aylin. Every mention of Ketheric Thorm lit a fury in Aylin's eyes that Isobel knew would consume her for hours or even days at a time, and all Isobel wished to do was waste those hours and days in that tent with her.

"Now they are gone, and you're here. With me." Isobel pressed a kiss to one of Aylin's scars. "And I don't think they're quite so horrible."

"They are torturous to look upon."

"Beautiful."

"They besmirch the form of the divine."

"They're proof you survived."

With every response, Isobel matched her words with a kiss on the golden cracks in Aylin's skin. Each kiss rose higher up, until Isobel straddled her and began tracing a mark on Aylin's throat with her lips.

For all this, for all the time they'd lost and now the time they'd been gifted, Isobel saw nothing but the hurt in those scars. She heard the screams of Aylin in her dreams, in the dark earth she called her resting place for years. She knew Aylin heard worse. Felt each of those moments of unending, immortal agony again and again and again.

She saw it in Aylin's eyes. The way she stared up at her with disbelief, relief, or some mixture of the two in her tired gaze.

She felt it in her touch, a needful thing Isobel knew herself all too well.

So she leaned down, fingers skimming scars one either side of Aylin's torso, and kissed her.

[maegalkarven]

No, but Bhaal is the "puts their goals and dreams on their kids" kind of a shitty parent. No path but his is worth even a mention.

Shar is the parent who makes you always strive to be best at everything you do, making you work to be acknowledged, loved. The queen of conventional love what's not even love. Discards things(people) she no longer have use for. Manipulates "children" into believing she's always right.

Selûne is the absent parent. Idk what she's a "good" godess, in times of evil inaction is evil too. Ailyn herself said what bc Selûne and Shar are twins they can take/steal/transform each other's creations/etc. Yet she held back and let Aylin be killed over and over again, let Shadowheart be kidnapped and brainwashed into sharran. She doesn't actually let her "children" fight their own battles, she leaves them alone and waits till they either pass her obscure trials (no way Shadowheart being kidnapped, raised sharran and confronted with Nightsong wasn't some kind of "find a light in the dark" trial).

Ulder Ravengard: absent parent + a parent who discarded his child as someone who can never do anything right. Judges Wyll before Wyll even does something. Basically gives up on him when Wyll is 17 and is terribly hurt.

Sarevok Anchev: the perfect example of a parental abuse going down the line. Was hurt, used and controlled by Bhaal; hurt, controlled and used Helena and Orin both.

Cazador Szarr: the kind of "my house = my rules", "my children are not allowed personal space or opinions bc they're freeloaders/do not provide, I am their PARENT, therefore I am always right" parent. Literally calls Astarion ungrateful bc he saved him, clothed and fed him, so how dare-

A victim of abuse (awful work, Vellioth, I hope you're proud of yourself) repeating the cycle.

The Flymms. Treat their child as a property, going as far as selling him. Idk about reasons, the fact speaks for itself.

Ketheric Thorm. Claims he does everything he does for Isobel, but never asked what SHE wants. Hurt her lover for a century, brainwashes Isobel when she doesn't act like he wants her to. The good example of a parent genuinely loving their child and still being shitty bc of the assumption they know what's better for their child.

Raphael: a questionable parental figure, but I can't ignore the fact what Gortash was raised in his household for a significant amount of time and it affected him in...a bad way. I'm guessing a thin line between absent and controlling, also manipulative.

[randomfanner]

Shadowheart Headcanons

I love Shadowheart, I love being her friend and I do plan on romancing this poor Sweetheart as a Selunite. But right now we are romancing the vampire(and bear) as a Moon Druid.

Going to be her friend in every play through though goddammit. Even the one I make everything go horribly, horribly wrong! (I am not excited for that play through but gods damn if I don't know exactly what kind of character I am going to play!)

Anyway, onto the headcanons!

TW: Religious Trauma, PTSD mentions and general warning that go with Shadowheart's backstory.

So there is not a person in this group who is not extremely touch starved and Shadowheart is the second most desperate to be brought in for some snuggles, right behind Karlach.

Shadowheart cannot and does not remember the last time she got a hug in her life. If you ask if she wants a hug she will deny it at first but "Wait actually it.... doesn't sound horrible I suppose."

(I want to hug everyone, I want there to be an option in friendships where you can ask if they want a hug. You can only do it after certain of their plot but god dammit let me hug them all. After I tell Shadowheart I think she did the right thing I want nothing more then to give her a hug every damn time.)

Shadowheart falls for puppy eyes so easy. Shadowheart will be eating her dinner and Scratch and the Owlbear will sit, stare with their big soft eyes and Shadowheart just gives them both some of her food. She vows it will be the last time.

It never is.

You can also pull this trick to get anything you want from Shadowheart. Whether it be a kiss when she is busy or to completely drag her away from other things, all you have to do is flash puppy eyes and any will she had to tell you 'no' breaks.

Shadowheart had a horse when she was a child and has a natural talent for horseback riding. It is something she long forgot about and her childhood horse did pass of old age, never knowing what happened to his rider. If you are able to save her parents, they tell her all about him.

It makes her cry, but she is glad to know this is something she used too. Shadowheart begins to learn how to ride as soon as she can and gets good at it instantly. It is like riding a bike and she begins to do it to clear her head.

After you both settle down she comes home with two horse calves and she is going to rise them and make it so you can go horse back riding together.

Shadowheart has begun to make a real effort to not pray to the Lady of Loss, however it is hard to stop doing something you have done in years and that has been ingrained into you. It is not as if she means too, and whenever she notices she utter her name, she instantly corrects them to try and follow Selune's prayers.

Isobel and Aylin are actually very good helps during the transition. Aylin knows what sort of disgusting habits the Wench of Loss instils and how hard it can be to shake off. She had seen it first hand after all. However Aylin does er... sometimes overdo it. Isobel is there to tone it down.

Isobel and Shadowheart become drinking and gossip buddies. I have nothing else to add here.

Shadowheart is bad at emotions and sometimes has no idea how to define how she is feeling. Even if it is a good emotion she doesn't always know the exact word for it... and she might begin asking you about it.

Talking about emotions is so beyond new to her she is nearly uncomfortable at first, but she likes to do it. She also begins to want to understand how you feel and hear how you are doing. She is bad at helping you if it hard times but she is going to try her best!

Content Warning for Below!

Shar brought back all the memories of suffering she had inflicted on others. And well Shadowheart doesn't think about it, she tries to not get lost in it... those memories plague her in her sleep. There have been multiple nights she has woken up screaming from memories.

She tends to hold onto your hand for as long as she will let her. She isn't sure if she wants to talk about it or not, sometimes she will sometimes she won't but whatever it feels like that night, by Selune is she glad you are there for her.

It means everything to her.

[gothyanki]

@ardentkurashk tagged me in this meme forever ago (thank you!! <3) Now it is time. Lots of yelling about Vin'ath inbound.

Name: Vin'ath

Age: 31

Race: Githyanki

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengeance).

Alignment: Trying their hardest to be a Lawful Good True Storybook Knight while also following vengeance oath tenets to the letter. This… does not always work out well.

Deity: Having been raised in a cult, Vin is deeply and understandably suspicious of all gods. They’ve dedicated their life to their oath instead, which is totally different.

Favourite spells: Shield of Faith for practicality; Colour Spray for aesthetics. They also love smiting. Divine Smite is their fave, although they couldn’t tell you why it’s the most satisfying.

Armour (Act 1): Scale Mail of Vengeance.

Armour (Act 2): Adamantine Splint Armour.

Armour (Act 3): Still Adamantine Splint Armour! High paladin fashion.

Favourite dye: Baby blue and gold. They flat-out refused to dye their gear at all until they got to Rivington, where they grudgingly agreed to try it out. The description points to a much more militaristic meaning, but to Vin those colours have come to symbolise the sun and sky over the world they love.

(I have a LOT of feelings about the default vengeance paladin colour scheme in light of “I see only blood-red and death-black”. Vin hasn’t drifted as far from their upbringing as they’d like to think.)

Weapon (Act 1): Monster Slayer Glaive (+ anything else they could grab that looked useful).

Weapon (Act 2): Soulbreaker Greatsword.

Weapon (Act 3): Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. Sorry, Lae'zel - it's just too perfect for a githyanki paladin. (In my headcanon, Lae does end up getting it after some token face-saving resistance from Vin. They’re not comfortable with the idea of wielding a silver sword and don't really want to give up the Soulbreaker - they've still got a lot of complicated feelings about the way they won it and they feel responsible for all those whispering souls.)

Buffs: Ooh, it’s been a while - I’d have to load up the game to see what they’ve got on. Githborn Psionic Weapon? Wielding the Soulbreaker Greatsword feels so right to them (ditto for Voss' silver sword, in the very brief space of time they had it); they’ve thoroughly compartmentalised that feeling so they don’t have to think about Why.

Main love interest: Karlach. It was a bit of a rough road to get there (the touch issue might have been the least of their problems), but now they’re an unstoppable team. To hell first, then onward to the stars!

Favourite NPC(s): Vin’s got a huge soft spot for the tiefling kids, especially Mol. (They’re very protective of children in general, for reasons they won’t admit have anything to do with their own upbringing.) Meeting Varrl and Varsh Ko’kuu gave them some hope in a difficult time, even though the circumstances were painful. They also greatly admire Dame Aylin and Isobel… and kind of see them as #relationshipgoals.

…and then there’s Kith'rak Voss. Yeah, that’s a complicated one.

Favourite enemy: Kith'rak Therezzyn and Inquisitor W'wargasm W'wargaz. There was a LOT of emotional fallout after the adrenaline crash, but for a while there they were riding the high of having faced down two terrifying childhood authority figures and lived (not to mention the staring contest with Vlaakith herself…)

Favourite battle: Gortash. That one was very personal - vengeance paladin mode on full display. (The conversation after it was… significantly harder for them to deal with.) Rescuing Halsin from Orin & co. was a close second - they were just so relieved they’d got there in time.

Favourite dialogue: Is “every single dialogue involving Karlach” cheating? Not just the overtly flirty/romantic ones - Vin would happily listen to her read the Faerûnian phonebook.

Aside from that, they got so much vicarious joy out of hearing Lae'zel reject Vlaakith - they don’t tend to show much emotion, but they may have done a little fist pump at “she has sinned against me!” Also, the conversation where Wyll opened up about the circumstances of his exile - Vin felt very honoured that he trusted them enough to let them see beyond the Blade of Frontiers persona, and it led them to drop their Perfect Paladin walls a little in return.

Decision about the Absolute: Red laser destroy destroy destroy + the Crown returns to Mystra. Unlike Lykos, Vin'ath isn’t tentacle-curious.

I tag anyone who hasn’t already done this (see: forever ago) and wants to!

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

FINALLY, ive finished 25% of exile, the second book in the kotlc series. here are some thoughts i had :)

tags: @aylin-hijabi, @that-multi-fandom-hijabi, @tastetherainbow290, @nerdy-girl3791 (im tagging everyone who asked to be tagged in my notes for book one, but lmk if you wanna be tagged too / dont wanna be tagged anymore)

first off, why are second books in a series always the ones that take the most time / are harder to start? ig it could be that we've already established the worldbuilding n main characters, but its still that dragging stage between *where you already know mostly everything in the universe* and *where the climax builds up in anticipation of the "final battle" or the beginning of the third act, usually*. nothing to do w the book itself, just an observation

second off, alicorns are so much more important than being just "another species to save", im sure of it. theres wayyy too much of the council getting involved n talk abt how alicorns are sooo important. to anyone whos read percy jackson it kinda reminds me of the ophiortaurus (bessie) from sea of monsters, who seemed to be a recurring animal side character who turned out to have a lot of significance to the very universe they were in. im expecting smth similar, why else would everyone go to such lengths to ensure alicorns dont go extinct? or maybe im overthinking it lmao but what gives it away is the heckses literally tryna kidnap silveny-

speaking of the heckses, who the fuck tries to steal an alicorn. stinas parents are the whiniest bitches ive ever seen, and im a fifteen year old girl. like cmon ive seen some drama queens over the years, but those two- also, fucking stina. i mentioned before that i hope to see some character development w her, so shes not just the boring one-dimensional mean girl thats prevalent in literally every piece of media thats come out since mean girls w regina george. clearly not yet, tho, but im waiting on it (if it does not happen i will be majorly disappointed)

also, delving into theories now. its kinda far-fetched, but, was brant w the black swan ? i mean, it would add up pretty decently. it would explain why his guilt for jolies death runs so deeply (since grady rlly rlly seems to believe that the black swan killed her) because he would be with the literal organization that killed her. it would also explain reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy well why he recognized sophie. the fact that he knew her was wayy too emphasized to mean nothing. idk JUST A THEORY, its not based off of anything other than it would fit nicely w everything else.

but also if grady is so adamant that it was the black swan, and (hypothetically) brant is w the black swan, then would it be improbable to assume that he killed her? which would explain the guilt even MORE. but then again, he does seem to love her, so that last part is added very tentatively. (maybe he killed her by accident... but then would the note to grady three days before her death just be a coincidence? im sure that has some deeper meaning.)

maybe it wasnt the black swan who sent those notes to grady...

to end on a funnier note: alicorn poop. sophie faceplanted into alicorn poop. it happens to all main characters, it always has to be someone walking in at the worst moment. i thought id be the vackers w keefe who show up n embarass her, but who better than the council to get humiliated in front of ? i dont hate sophie i just laugh at her pain

i think thats all for the 25% mark, im gonna keep reading today. im gonna go to my grandmas house so maybe i can get a couple hundred pages in !!!

[faerunscursed]

Growing up as the child of Duke Ravenguard meant several things, one which including access to an extensive library of books for studies. As such when one of the things Wyll did was retreat to those books, his favorites included that of the tales of the Night song. Tales of heroism that toppled even over his father's accomplishments drew his eyes in. For a lone angel explored all of faerun and beyond, saving the many denizens of it and slaying monsters, undead and demons alike in her path.

As a boy he longed to be like her, just like he had his father. However, many told him that she was only a story, that she wasn't real. If she was real than why would they ever have to worry about the battles in which they found themselves in constantly? This was further made worse by the fact that for the last 100 years the night song seemed to disappear. Almost as if she didn't exist and eventually he too began to believe that. Yet her acts of heroism stuck to him as much of his hatred of his father for the actions he had made that fateful day.

This was why he was so stunned now as his eyes caught the visage of the night song of herself, Dame Aylin. She had been captured by Ketheric Thorm and tucked away by Shar. He sighed with relief knowing that one of the figures he looked up to was real, and in the flesh before him. But what would she think of a man who made a deal with a devil and had become one himself? Would she know of the Blade of Frontiers?

Wyll slowly approached the angel, taking a deep breath as he did so. "So, you're the nightsong? I had hoped you more than just a fairytale." He bowed his head in reverence, though knowing that Mizora would want him to have nothing to do with such a pure being. As it was his was having a hard time containing his own excitement. "I read all about you, as a kid, I wanted to be so much like that you it partially inspired the man I am now."

He held out his hand to shake hers, a formal greeting. "But where are my manners, I am Wyll Ravenguard, son of Duke Ulder Ravenguard." Though the mere mention of his fathers name made his chest ache with the rage he felt towards the man. "Or perhaps you might have heard of the Blade of Frontiers. Either way, it is a pleasure meeting you, though I had hoped to meet you under less gruesome appearance. I wasn't always this way, you see." @ferinehuntress

[blackjackkent]

So - I was definitely worried at first that Aylin's talk about feeling something "missing" after killing Lorroakan meant that we were gonna come back to camp and find out something happened to Isobel, but thankfully that's not the case. She's fine! Whew!

(@zenjestrr mentioned that the line was actually probably in response to her being considered to have broken her paladin oath by going way too all-out in her vengeance on him, since apparently this mimicks the dialogue you get if you become an oathbreaker as a paladin yourself. So that scene was just so extra that Selune herself was like "girl pls find your chill.")

She def sounds pretty worn out as she greets Hector, too.

"Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more."

"I was just regaling sweet Isobel with tales of our prowess."

"Very impressive. Thank you for helping Aylin - that wizard sounded absolutely dastardly."

I'm honestly not sure Isobel actually cares much about the tales of prowess; she's just humoring Aylin long enough to make sure she gets some damn rest. (Also "dastardly" is a serious understatement.)

Hector at this point shares her concern; he's started to figure out that, whatever Aylin's divine origins, she's also a supremely broken woman at present, who hasn't fully processed what happened to her. She needs rest even more than he and his companions do, which is saying something.

"I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin," he says gently.

"I always do, with darling Isobel by my side," she responds gravely - but he recognizes the light that brightens in her eyes. He's sure the same comes to his own when he thinks of Karlach.

"Enjoy the spoils of your victory," she goes on. "Spin memories of Lorroakan's death in your mind like silkfloss."

She turns to Isobel. "My darling, we must inform our friend of this news."

"Indeed," Isobel agrees. "I've scouted a Selunite enclave outside the city. They've faced the Absolute's armies and come out bruised and battered."

"But fear not," Aylin adds to Hector. "When the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Isobel and I will be at your side."

"We wouldn't miss it," Isobel says. "Not for anything."

Aylin puts a hand on his shoulder. "Go well, friend. We will see you soon. And with our great powers combined, this city will be saved."

Hector hesitates, then returns the gesture with a slight smile. Yes. It shall. And you, I hope, will find some peace, somewhere beyond all this war and destruction. Something worthy of your blood, and your love, and all the suffering you have been through.

Perhaps I even shall as well...

[iensrobens]

A wrap-up for this blog for a hiatus

Just realised I posted 15 sets of drawings during the past 20 days. This is the craziest thing I ever did and such a relief of all my obsession with the game and Shadowheart since August. First time in my life creating fan content and picking up drawing again in 10 years was absolutely fun. (and of course learning to use these sns apps is also interesting, I know I sound like an ape first seeing human technology but I’m really ancient in this sense.)

I’m no artist and drawing isn’t even a hobby, just that I happen to have an iPad with Sketchbook installed.(and I only got to know how to rerank layers with it 2 pics ago so sorry for the quality for my first few drawings.) I just want to draw all the scenes I depicted in my head and very personal ideas towards the story as I tried writing and had to toss everything in trash can because I struggled making up comprehensive sentences.

I was quite anxious and felt so panicked that if my personal taste is weird and my drawings are bad (as you can tell, I don’t know how to do color) but I’m glad and surprised to see ppl like those. The numbers I’ve seen in my notification tab is far more large than the number of ppl I met in real life. (and it is very relieving to press on the blue dots.)

I really appreciate all your likes and comments and even followings-totally unprepared for this. I read every comments you made and those warms my heart and I jumped around the room when I see you got the references and hints I buried. (although I’m not sure what is the correct courtesy to reply your reposts and comments.)

I can’t recall if I ever obsessed with another character to the same extent like Shadowheart-the only one I actually started to do fan art by myself.

(As I mentioned I’m bad at writing so the next part may be very unorganised because my thoughts are flying in my mind.)

I played as her for my first playthrough. I had a quite traumatised experience for this-knew her background and past story, saved aylin but killed parents as I thought it is what THEY want, but I don’t know what HER wants; romance laezel as the dynamic was so intriguing and so good, saved her prince and let her fly away as I though she belongs to the sky and it was best for her-of course the one who becomes a squid is then Shadowheart-and I just straightaway stabbed myself at the dock. Everyone got their good ending except shad herself, and it was so grieving-all she wanted were actually all gone in that playthrough-family, lover and herself; past, present and no future. I just felt I did my girl so dirty.

Then with the customised character playthrough I actually get to know her more completely-with amazing voice acting, the interactions and all the hidden dialogues around the world-like the childhood memories dialogue which are a condition for letting her save her parents-I feel that is the preferable way as all the needed is done and she made her own decision. (But is the origin playthrough now added these narratives? I was thinking Allister Marley was Astarion’s real name.)And then the evil Durge route for her Shar path to see an alternative timeline, though I prefer the selunite route as the cycle has to end, we are better than this but that gives so many story telling ideas.

I tried to type something like character study but I can’t make it expressive enough even for myself to understand. I just hope then all I wanted to see and say is conveyed in the drawings. God knows I tried.

And thus I have exhausted all my ideas (and my annual leaves) for it. Now I have to remind myself to really focus on my real life work. Until next time my friends on Internet, perhaps I’ll pop up again when DLC or definitive edition drops.

[underworldobsessed]

WIP Wednesday

Okay, I'm kinda excited to do this, as it's definitely been a while since I've shared glimpses of my WIPS. Thank you @optiwashere for tagging me! I'm gonna tag @beetlesacquired, @the-blue-quetzalcoatl and @disneydreamlights but don't feel pressured if you want to do it!

Here we go! I'm gonna share four excerpts from my fics since I've got a lot of WIPs right now. I will note, most of them don't have names yet. I usually save that bit for last.

WIP 1 - Aylin and Isobel Meet Kurik. It's exactly as it sounds, it's the moment Aylin and Isobel meet little Kurik. I've been wanting to write more of these two forever and I figured this was the perfect excuse to do so.

“I haven’t heard from Alfira yet,” Nemeia mumbled. “I’m sure she’s going to bring Kurik a drum or a training lute.”  “I will lose my mind if she did that.” Shadowheart went to clean off her hands, disappearing into their kitchen. “None of us need a child with a drum.”  The three of them laughed, but that laughter died out when there was a knock at the door.   “We’re not expecting anyone…are we?” Shadowheart called over to them. Nemeia sat up, eyes narrowing just a bit. No, they weren’t expecting anyone, not that they could recall anyway. Magic sparked at their fingertips as they got up from their couch, knowing that they would forgo this peaceful moment if it meant protecting their family.  They inched towards the door, readying an eldritch blast, when they heard the voices, loud despite being behind the wood.  “Ally mine! It is Dame Aylin and darling Isobel! We have brought gifts for your new addition!” The voice rang out and Nemeia tried to relax, laughing.  “It’s Aylin and Isobel!” They yelled back “They’re here to meet Kurik!”  “I’ll go grab him from his room!” Karlach yelled back, as Shadowheart joined Nemeia at the door to open it. 

WIP 2 - Shadowheart/Nocturne Fic. This will be one of my first attempts writing Shadowheart/Nocturne. It's two parts, both taking place before the game. The first, where this excerpt is from, is from when Shadowheart and Nocturne are younger, after another instance of Shadowheart's memory being wiped.

“No! I don’t, and I’m so sick of not remembering!” Pain flared from the wound, but despite the agony, Shadowheart ignored it. “I know all will be returned and we will be rewarded in due time but it feels like the Mother Superior wants nothing more than to see me forget every part of who I am and what I’m like to be molded into whatever she wants me to be.”  “Shadowheart, you don’t mean that.” Nocturne sounded like she was trying to reason with her, but Shadowheart shook her head. How could she know what she meant? Nocturne almost never went into the Chamber of Loss. Perhaps she did, and Shadowheart couldn’t remember…  No, why would Nocturne face the Mirror to forget everything. She was good in the Mother Superior’s eyes, Shadowheart was a blight, a mess to be corrected.  “I’m tired of forgetting things, Nocturne. I’m tired of having massive pieces of my memories just lost to the void.” Tears burned Shadowheart’s eyes but she refused to cry. What good would crying do?  She wasn’t the kind of person to cry. Or was she? She couldn’t even remember that information about herself.  She saw Nocturne shift closer to her out of the corner of her eye and felt her arm wrap around her. When was the last time Shadowheart had felt a gentle touch like that?

WIP 3 - Walking on the Road Alone. So this one is just starting out in terms of writing it. I briefly mentioned this where Kurik goes back in time after something disrupts the past and he has to make sure everything goes as it should. I've been working on an outline for it, but I'm too excited so I'm also writing the first chapter at the same time. (Also a note, Odassa is draconic for parent, which is what Nemeia is called by Kurik)

Everything was blood and meat. Bodies littered the ground around him, and at first they all seemed like a mess of flesh and gore. It wasn’t the first time Kurik’s dreams had reflected the darkest parts of him, nor, he assumed, would it be the last. But his parents had worked with him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to will the images away as he closed his eyes, but when he opened his eyes, it was still there. And the details started to clear up.  His Mum, Mama, and Odassa were laying at the top of the pile of corpses, and as he looked he saw his aunts and uncles. His entire family lay bloodied and broken at his feet.

WIP 4 - Sprained Ankle, Huh?. So this one was a fun one. I saw a post about dialogue gotten where Shadowheart admits to feigning a sprained ankle with Karlach so she would carry her. I couldn't resist writing this too.

“I thought you were supposed to be resting in bed,” Shadowheart adjusted the way she was sitting on the couch so they could sit behind her, which they did. Honestly, anything to get them off their feet with their body feeling as heavy as it was.  “I was worried I’d have to perform some daring rescue for the two of you.” Nemeia ran their fingers through Shadowheart’s hair, which she had taken to wearing down more and more. “But you don’t seem too injured, Shadowheart.”  “I sprained my ankle,” Shadowheart’s voice took on a very odd tone and Nemeia smirked. They knew that tone well.  “Uh-huh,” They started to let their hands drift a little, out of her hair and down her sides. “And I know you haven’t fantasized about our darling Karlach carrying you to safety, right? Not like that wasn’t the first thing you said when we met her?”  “Gods, I hate your memory for these things.” Shadowheart’s cheeks turned red and Nemeia laughed, kissing her cheek. “I actually tripped but… the idea crossed my mind when she came up to check on me." 

[autistichalsin]

Maybe Silvanus loves him as much as we do 🍃

Setting aside the MPreg headcanon for a moment, I truly think he does, whether platonically or otherwise lol. I'm going to swerve into a completely serious headcanon here:

I have two theories that tie together; the first that, similar to how Aylin is Selune's daughter, Thaniel is Silvanus's son. This would explain why Halsin was the only one able to see the boy; how they became fast friends and had such a deep, lifelong bond. Such an intense bond that in the Shadowfell with Art for over a century, Thaniel repeatedly said that Halsin was the only one who could save him.

Halsin then spends over a century fighting to save Thaniel and the Shadow-Cursed Lands. He mentions specifically working to curry Silvanus's favor as why he is able to open the portal, and why it has to be him. No one else tried this; this implies, directly, that Halsin is therefore showing a devotion to healing nature beyond what anyone else in Faerun shows. And Silvanus, in granting Halsin the ability to open the portal, clearly showed that Halsin is one of his favored worshippers.

Which brings me to my next theory: Halsin is Silvanus's Chosen, knowingly or not. (Whether he keeps that level of power when he retires in the epilogue is another matter.) If the player talks to him about the Underdark, and mentions that he gets kidnapped a lot, Halsin mentions that among other reasons, part of why this happens is that he could simply tear through everything in his path, but feels that doing so would disrespect Silvanus. This seems odd, since he never talks about worries about the other Druids misusing their powers unless they specifically use them for evil. BUT if Halsin was Silvanus's Chosen, that would explain far better why he has such worries about using his blessings correctly.

It would also explain why Ketheric Thorm, as the Chosen of Myrkul, was still so obsessed with Halsin and his Grove 100 years later, despite clear signs the Grove wasn't at peak performance due to the stresses placed on them, social and otherwise. If Halsin was Silvanus's Chosen, of course the Dead Three would want to interfere with him.

It would also explain Halsin's skill in healing, his ability to detect the player's tadpole from far away, etc. Halsin is incredibly powerful, and if Thaniel showed Halsin's potential to his father Silvanus at a young age, perhaps Silvanus even worked with Thaniel to steer him to the Druids so that he could realize that power.

Disclaimer: this is only a theory. I'm not claiming this is actual canon.

[mikuchan]

Throwing you the reverse card: BG3 and Dragon Age 😉

:D

BG3

The first character I first fell in love with: this is kind of cheating, but I made my girl Sabine in early access and then didn't stop thinking about her for the like 2 years or so it took for the actual game to come out. I still love her. Otherwise hmm in my first playthrough I really liked Astarion and Alfira

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: I was actually super meh about Minthara at first. It took a little more time + learning her character to get into her. I also hated Shadowheart in EA because she was rude and I took it personally LOL they're both big faves now obviously

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Gortash... there are a lot of other villains that have much better hair

The character I love that everyone else hates: Maybe Araj Oblodra, she had some controversy going in the fuckable bg3 character poll. I also really like Yenna, I see a lot abt how annoying she is but I think she's so sweet.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Astarion...I still like him, but after playing the game a few times/ways other characters just resonate with me more

The character I would totally smooch: Mizooorrrrraaaaaaaaaa

The character I’d want to be like: I'm not sure! Maybe Karlach, she has a good attitude

The character I’d slap: most of the druids...Volo...Aradin

A pairing that I love: I'm still on my Minthara/Alfira train, also deep in the Minthara/Florrick fan club right now (and this modern au!). Alfira/Lakrissa, Isobel/Aylin, Danis/Bex, Shadowheart/Nocturne, Karlach/Wyll, all very good pairings that I adore too. I've also been reading Mimetoist's Minthara/Halsin fic and loving it, I like that ship a lot.

A pairing that I despise: I don't like Durge/Gortash! I don't like Gortash and I think there are more compelling ships for Durge, like WYLL. Monster hunter hero who won't give up on the one born to be a monster?! Two souls both being forced to follow higher evil powers, mutually loving and supporting each other through that?! Also could go on about my toxic platonic ship of Auntie Ethel/Durge but we'll save it for another day

DA - so I just finished Origins (tetoman playing and me watching/backseat gaming), and have played some Inquisition but not all

The first character I first fell in love with: ✨🥰Cassandra🥰✨ my husband + bff are probably sick of me going oohhhh cassaaaaandra every time one of them mentions Dragon Age

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: historically I'm not too keen on dwarves but I really like Varric!

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I think Sera is annoying

The character I love that everyone else hates: idk who the Dragon Age fandom hates lol. probably not hated, but I had never heard of Wynne or Shale in general and I'm surprised, I loved them.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: n/a since I'm still pretty early in my DA career

The character I would totally smooch: Cassandra... but she doesn't want me 😔✌🏻 so I suppose Iron Bull or Leliana

The character I’d want to be like: Leliana! She is actually my favorite, I liked what I saw of her in DAI and now that I saw DAO I love her even more!

The character I’d slap: idk probably Solas

A pairing that I love: I like Iron Bull x Dorian! and the mage guy my husband and I made x Morrigan lolol

A pairing that I despise: n/a for now, not enough knowledge of popular DA ships

[mz-elysium]

rambling on shadowheart's direction (or lack thereof)

idk if I'm big-brained or just weird

I've been thinking more of Shadowheart's story and how it falls flat a bit on theme in places.

Like. It's a story about leaving a cult. That specific trauma, her reactions, etc., are brilliant. Beautiful.

But I distinctly do not like her just up and becoming a Selunite. Maybe it's because religion in D&D is different (gods are literally real and have massive interactions), but it feels like a worse coping mechanism than dying her hair. She should get room to breathe and be without the gods, without doctrine (good or ill), for a little while. Or forever.

Honestly, I really would've loved her story to be one more about faith than cults. As a cleric, she parrots doctrine but it's more brainwashing than genuine heartfelt belief.

I think she should've had four main endings:

Shar-Shar. Kills the Nightsong, embraces Shar's teachings blindly as the brainwashed cultist she is and never questions it. Kills her parents. Ascends as Shar's right hand.

Shadowheart-Shar. Kills the Nightsong but comes to question Shar and her faith. Saves her parents. Redefines Sharran doctrine in ways that make sense for her, reframing the eternal doom of The Void and the inevitable crushing darkness as something hopeful, honouring Shar in a way that other evil gods are appeased in wariness of something mighty. In D&D, gods are very real and very jealous, so this might be less realistic for Shar to allow but would be a more satisfying story about faith and contesting the gods. Shar might chuckle wryly, not accepting her as her right hand, but even gods don't get to decide who worships them and how.

Selunite. Saves the Nightsong, saves her parents. Dame Aylin helps guide her onto Selune's teachings. What started as a desperate way to come becomes something spiritually fulfilling and genuine. She finds peace as a cleric or paladin of Selune. It reinforces the black/white thinking of Shar/Selune (which is classic D&D but less to my taste).

*Losing My Religion*. Saves the Nightsong, kills her parents. Lost and alone, she realises she's been used and dominated by cruel and uncaring gods all her life (like certain other tadfools). Leaves them behind, but finds new purpose. Changes classes.

now. what class?

oh im so glad you didn't ask!

rogue? trickery domain clerics are stealthy. her dex is a lil low, but her and astarion have a great rapport by act 3. i can see an apprenticeship going.

paladin? charged by a powerful oath instead of divine magic... but her cha is very low and her other stats aren't great. besides, shart isn't a woman of great conviction. esp after losing her faith.

bard? no cha. monk? no chill. warlock? over wyll's dead body. wizard? our girl dumbo. fighter? barbarian? not...really.

i think a druid and i actually think it really works

at the end of act 2, we have two druid companions -- nay, mentors who would be glad to take an apprentice.

while both these druids worship the elven nature god silvanus, a god is def not a requirement for druids.

after flailing godlessly, would embrace the natural world's steadiness.

the circle of the moon is selunite-tinged and our girl is an animal-lover.

the circle of the land is heavy casting and she's a wisdom char.

the circle of spore's focus on decay/rebirth would probably be very soothing to an ex-sharran who used to only look at the Void.

she mentions in her epilogue wanting to go live in a farm, with chickens and animals. imagine druid!shadowheart magicking the garden and speaking with scratch.

also, it's the only class (other than cleric) that her natural stats work with, which is a bonus.

i honestly think it would bring her a lot of peace, purpose, and happiness.