#to die by your side well the pleasure and the privilege is mine

[howifeltabouthim]

'We go into a blessed place of rest, where sorrow and pain cannot come. I wish—I wish,' she added with a bursting heart, 'that you and I were both there!'

Ellen Wood, from East Lynne

[superfallingstars]

Snapetober Day 7: Flame

There is a light that never goes out...!

[wow-its-jester-hat]

"New date idea! Let's go through all of your saved videos and you explain each one to me."

Me trying to explain why I saved a video about someone rewriting Enjolras and Grantaire's death scene to match "If the Les Miserables bus crashes into us"

[syn-odics]

there is a light that never goes out (live in manchester) save me

[myarmsaretoolong]

needed the scene from day four for fic accuracy and when i resumed my music after its the smiths going "and if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die" the universe hates me

[awhisperofcinnamon]

I am being so normal (listening to johnny marr's version of there is a light that never goes out on repeat)

[virginstoner666]

would it happen? probably not. would i let it happen, yeas.

Vampire game!

[deadpoets]

To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

[mratzeebub]

And if a ten ton truck

Kills the both of us

To die by your side

Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine ❤

[sidekick-hero]

To die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

steddie | rated: t | wc: 2k | written for @steddie-spooktober, prompt: rain | tags: established relationship, fluff, proposal | AO3

Sensations slowly seep into his awareness, even as his mind lingers in the depths of sleep. The light filtering through his closed eyelids tells him it’s already morning, and he can just make out the soft patter of rain falling on the tin roof of the shed in their backyard.

It’s comforting. He’s cocooned in his warm blanket, shielded from the downpour outside, while the comforting weight of Eddie’s arm draped over his waist and the warmth of his body against his back makes him want to stay put. Eddie’s breath is softly ruffling the fine hairs on the nape of his neck, his hand splayed across Steve’s stomach.

It’s amusing how, even after ten years together, they still wake up entwined more often than not. They can't seem to keep their hands off each other, not even in sleep. The thought makes Steve smile, as he’s once again struck by just how much he loves Eddie—and how unbelievably lucky he is to have found someone who, every single day, reassures him that he is loved just as fiercely in return.

With a gentle smile lingering, Steve carefully lifts the blanket and then Eddie’s arm, sliding out of bed without disturbing his boyfriend’s slumber. He stifles a laugh when, after a brief pause, Eddie sprawls across the warm spot Steve left behind.

After finishing his morning routine in the bathroom, Steve pulls on his running shorts and one of Eddie’s old t-shirts. It still carries Eddie's faint scent, and Steve pauses for a moment, eyes closed, breathing it in deeply. Smiling to himself, he scribbles a quick note, out for a run, will bring breakfast, love you, S, and grabs his shoes, keys, and some change from the coffee table.

The rain hasn’t let up, and it takes a bit of willpower to step outside into the downpour. But he knows that once his feet hit the pavement, the discomfort will fade. With one last glance at their warm, cozy house, where Eddie is likely still fast asleep—his face buried in Steve’s pillow, probably drooling all over it—Steve steps out and lets his body fall into the familiar rhythm of the run.

He starts slow, easing into a light jog to wake up his muscles and joints. In his late teens and early twenties, he never needed this kind of warm-up. Back then, he’d just take off running, his feet pounding the pavement with the confidence and energy of someone who seemed built for it—driven, always pushing for more.

Now, he sees his body differently. It’s no longer just a tool for winning trophies or proving his worth as captain of some team. He’s loved without needing to be at the top, and he no longer has to carry weapons to show his strength or devotion. Eddie’s hands and mouth worship every part of him, even the new softness around his middle, and Steve’s hands hold things like cooking spoons, grading pens, Eddie’s hand, his godson, or the book he’s reading to Max and Lucas’ daughter. No weapons.

Still, running is something he’s kept up over the years—not just to stay in shape, though he does appreciate the way it keeps his thighs muscular and his ass firm. His main reason is the peace it brings. Running quiets his mind, helps him sort through his thoughts, and gives him a sense of balance. No matter what the day throws at him, he knows he can always find his center during this hour, just him and the steady rhythm of his feet hitting the ground.

The rain pelts his face and the exposed skin of his arms and legs, but he doesn’t mind anymore. It’s the first day of October, and though the scorching summer days are long behind them, the cold hasn’t fully set in yet. The air is crisp, and mist rises over the treetops in the woods beyond their neighborhood, but twenty minutes into his run, the chill feels more invigorating than uncomfortable. His clothes cling to his damp skin, and his hair drips steadily, but he’s no longer focused on that. Instead, he relishes the steady rhythm of his body moving, his legs carrying him forward while his mind drifts, letting muscle memory take over.

At first, his thoughts had been practical—running through all the things he needed to get done today. He’d promised Luke, Dustin’s son and his godson, help with his Halloween costume. Robin had roped him into assisting with the flea market she’s organizing for the community center, likely in an attempt to impress Susan, her latest crush. Not that Robin would ever admit to having crushes, not at thirty, when they’re both certified adults with 40-hour workweeks. Eddie wanted to hit up the craft store later, something about a secret Halloween project he was working on, and Steve knew he’d regret agreeing to it but couldn’t resist when those big brown eyes worked their magic on him.

Gradually, these thoughts fade away as his feet continue pounding the wet pavement. His mind drifts, as it so often has in the past six months, to the small box hidden beneath their tax documents in a drawer in his office. It’s black, lined with velvet, and inside is a platinum band, engraved with words Dustin had helped him translate. Ae ú-esteliach nad… estelio han. Estelio ammen. When Dustin explained the meaning, Steve knew instantly it was what he wanted Eddie to remember every day, as he fiddled with the ring on his finger. If you trust nothing else, trust this. Trust us.

Steve knows he needs to trust in them too—trust their love enough to ask the question that’s been pressing against his heart since the day Eddie looked at him and said, “I love you, and it scares the shit outta me. But having my heart broken by you? It would still be my pleasure, my privilege to have loved you in the first place.” Steve had kissed him then, not because he didn’t want to say I love you in return, but because there had been more words that had come so close to tumbling out—Marry me. Be mine. Let me be yours. I want to live and die by your side.

He needs to believe that when he finally asks, Eddie will say yes, that they’ll spend the rest of their lives together.

When Steve rounds the corner onto the quiet cul-de-sac where their house sits, a bag of fresh pancakes from their favorite diner in hand, he still hasn’t come to a decision. He knows he wants Eddie to be his husband, whether legally or not. He knows Eddie loves him. They already share a bed, a house, a close circle of friends who feel more like family—a whole life together. Nothing needs to change.

And yet, something holds him back from saying those four simple words: Will you marry me?

Letting himself into the house, he kicks off his wet shoes and places them under the radiator to dry, thankful they'd already turned on the heat. After putting on some coffee, he slips into the shower while it brews, leaving the pancakes warm in the oven. The hot water chases away the lingering chill, and soon he’s dressed in comfortable sweatpants and yet another one of Eddie’s band tees that seem to be scattered around the house.

With a tray full of pancakes, two mugs of coffee, and some sliced fruit and cream, Steve heads upstairs. As he climbs the steps, his gaze falls on the door to his office. On a whim, he steps inside and pockets the little box that has been on his mind all morning.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he says when he reaches the bedroom. Eddie is awake, even though his eyes are still closed, but Steve can tell by the change in his breathing and the soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Have a nice run?” Eddie mumbles, eyes still shut, but his voice warm with affection. He knows Steve’s routine by heart, always paying attention, no matter how ordinary the details of his day might be.

Steve places the tray on the mattress beside Eddie and reaches out, brushing a few stray strands of hair from his boyfriend’s face. “It was good. Gave me some time to think.”

That gets Eddie to blink his eyes open. “Yeah? About what?”

“You,” Steve says with a smile, leaning down to kiss him.

Eddie hums into the kiss, a contented sound. “Only good things, I hope.”

“Mmhmm,” Steve murmurs in agreement. “I was thinking about your Halloween project—about how much I love the chaos and excitement you bring into my life. And about how great you are with Luke and Leia, and how much I’m looking forward to taking them trick-or-treating with you. I was thinking about how perfect our life is, how happy I am, and how much I want to call you my husband. How I want to celebrate our love with our friends, dance with you to The Smiths. To die by your side—well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.”

Eddie sits up during Steve’s little speech, his eyes wide and unblinking. The morning light filters into their bedroom, the storm clouds having cleared, leaving the sun to bathe the room in its warmth.

“Stevie, are you… is this…”

Steve pulls the box from his pocket and opens it to reveal the ring inside. “This is me asking you to trust me to make you happy, to love and cherish you every day for the rest of our lives.” He takes Eddie’s trembling hand, kissing the back of it tenderly before looking up at him with his lips still pressed to the soft skin. “Eddie Munson, will you marry me?”

Eddie stays silent, his eyes drinking in the sight of Steve kneeling by the bed, hair still damp and tousled, wearing one of Eddie’s shirts. In that moment, Steve is struck again by how much he wants this for the rest of his life. He takes the ring from the box and places it in Eddie’s palm, eager for him to see the engraving. Those nimble fingers—fingers Steve has felt on his skin countless times, has watched create and hold with such care—gently lift the platinum band. Eddie turns it, inspecting it in the morning light until the sun catches the words inscribed inside.

Leaning closer, Eddie whispers the inscription softly, the foreign words rolling off his tongue in a way that sends a shiver of admiration and desire through Steve.

He repeats the words in English this time. "If you trust nothing else, trust this. Trust us." Eddie looks up from the ring, searching Steve’s gaze. “Oh, Steve. I don’t know what to say. This is…”

Steve has seen Eddie speechless maybe a handful of times in all the years they’ve been together, and never quite like this. It gives him the courage to say, “You could put me out of my misery and just say yes.”

Eddie gapes at him, his mouth opening and closing before he bursts into laughter—a sound so full of joy that it fills the room with warmth.

That finally breaks the spell. Steve barely manages to push the tray aside before Eddie is in his arms, laughing through his words. “Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, you idiot, of course I want to marry you,” he murmurs into Steve’s neck.

The days may be growing colder and darker now, but Steve knows he has all the warmth and light he’ll ever need, right here in his arms—Eddie, trusting him, trusting them to last long after the seasons change once more.

[fan-a-tink]

My favourite lyrics from Jayden’s Charles playlist (because I am still going absolutely insane over it):

I’d walk to the depth of a world down below, and demand to get back what some circumstance stole - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

How do you know which memories to save? Like the very last footprint that Orpheus made. Cause the last ray of sun made Eurydice cold, did she know, did she know, did she know, did she know? - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

But I opened the door and I went down the stairs, I turned back one last time just to prove you were there. You said, ‚If you can see me, it’s all in your head‘, but it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

In the low lamp light I was free. Heaven and Hell were words to me. When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her - Work Song, by Hozier

Do you think I’d give up? That this might’ve shook the love from me? Or that I was on the brink, how could you think, darling, I’d scare so easily? - Francesca, by Hozier

If someone asked me at the end, I’d tell them put me back in it, darling, darling, I would do it again, ah, ah, if I could hold you for a minute, I’d go through it again - Francesca, by Hozier

Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I - Francesca, by Hozier

I say they’re just the ones who gave me life, but I truly am my parents’ child. […] I can run but I can’t hide from my family line - Family Line, by Conan Gray

And wonder what I did to deserve this, how could you hurt a little kid? I can’t forget, I can’t forgive you, cause now I’m scared that everyone I love will leave me - Family Line, by Conan Gray

I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless, Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this - Family Line, by Conan Gray

And you laugh and you dance in the wind, and you sway and you hug and you cry, but there’s darkness behind those eyes even when you smile. Oh, summer child, you don’t have to act like all you feel is mild. - Summer Child, by Conan Gray

Stay together, no matter what the weather, even if the winds are changing everything that you are - The Mates of Soul, by Taylor John Williams

My love, there’s only you in my life, the only thing that’s right, my first love, you’re every breath that I take - Endless Love, by Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey

You are, you are, home, home, where I wanted to go - Clocks, by Coldplay

To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine. Oh, there is a light that never goes out - There is a Light that never goes out, by The Smiths

Well, fight or flight, I’d rather die than have to cry in front of you. Fight or flight, I’d rather lie than tell you I’m in love with you - Fight of Flight, by Conan Gray

Bonus, from Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned? 

We’ll carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on, you'll carry on

I just love how it is so clear from every. single. song. that Jayden understands how much Charles loves Edwin. He is the biggest payneland shipper and I love him for it!

[heavencasteel420]

I think I found the problem. The dread needs more romance.

Drive All Night is definitely my WIP where it takes forever to get into the groove of a new chapter, but it moves pretty fast after that point.

[final-fantasy-xiii-fan]

And if a double-decker bus crashes into us

To die by your side

Is such a heavenly way to die

And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us

To die by your side

Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

Oh, there is a light that never goes out

Oh my god I'm so in love with you Legend youre a heavenly dream ♥♥♥

Art from: linked universe/JoJo 56830

Song: there is a light that never goes out- The Smiths

[fadeintoyou1993]

take me out tonight where theres music and theres people and theyre young and alive.... driving in your car i never never want to go home because i havent got one anymore.... take me out tonight..... because I want to see people and i want to see life..... driving in your car oh please dont drop me home because it's not my home it's their home and i'm welcome no more.... and if a doublе decker bus crashes into us.... to diе by your side is such a heavenly way to die.... and if a ten tonne truck kills the both of us to die by your side well.. the pleasure, the privilege is mine... take me out tonight take me anywhere i dont care i dont care i dont care.... and in the darkened underpass i thought oh god my chance has come at last but then a strange fear gripped me and i just couldnt ask...... take me out tonight because i want to see people and I want to see life..... driving in your car oh please dont drop me home because I havent got one oh i havent got one..... and if a double decker bus crashes into us to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die...... and if a ten tonne truck kills the both of us to die by your side well the pleasure, the privilege is mine..... there is a light it never goes out there is a light it never goes out there is a light it never goes out there is a light and it never goes out there is a light in your eyes, it never goes out there's a light in your eyes, it never goes out there's a light in your eyes, never goes out there's a light, there's a light, there's a light.... there's a light

[pinkwinesupernovas]

and if a double-decker bus crashes into us to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die and if a ten tonne truck kills the both of us to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine <3

[share-the-damn-bed]

to die by your side well the pleasure the privilege is mine