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Today Crowley heard Aziraphale singing "The 12 Days of Christmas," and realized he had been singing it a lot the past few weeks. Worried that Aziraphale might have been dropping hints this whole time, he quickly miracled up every single gift mentioned in the song and hid them in the garden for Aziraphale to find at a later date.

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Today Muriel was sitting in the coffee shop looking at a gingerbread mocha when a song about regifting came on the radio. Several people groaned, and one complained it's the 18th, almost made it to Christmas!

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I know for a fact that, at some point a couple years after Dick moved to Blüdhaven, he came back to work a case with Bruce and at some point they needed to get into some party or something and Bruce of course is about to pull out the Brucie persona to sleaze by the security, but before he can Dick turns into Richie Grayson <<3 and hits on the bouncers until they're way too flustered not to let them in and Bruce is SHOCKED and pulls him aside and is like "DICK WTF YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU'RE A MINOR" and Dick just stares at him like. "Dad I'm 24." And Bruce has a mental breakdown because his BABY BOY should NOT know what those words mean

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clark, when he first met bruce: what a jerk, it’s no wonder he works alone, how could anyone possibly stand his ego-

….

clark, now: i want that man to have my children

(bruce, in the background: that’s physically impossible)

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BatCat this week 121924

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Today Crowley and Aziraphale locked themselves in different parts of the cottage so that they could wrap each other's Christmas gifts.

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It's an unspoken yet wildly understood rule that if you're caught with someone in the manor after a hookup that they MUST come to breakfast the next morning. If not then you're either a bad host/partner (Alfred rules) OR a complete coward and can't own up to something.

30 minuets after Jason walked in on Kon getting redressed in Tim's room at 8 AM, most of the family is already seated at the breakfast table.

Tim: *glaring across the table at Jason yet says nothing*

Jason: *shoulders shaking as he tries not to laugh, hand covering his mouth to hide his smirk*

Kon: *petting a puppy Titus that's trying to pull at his pant leg*

Dick: "Ok...I'll be the one to say it...A little shocked it took this long."

Tim, nearly choking on his coffee: "Achk! Dick!"

Dick: "What?! It's true! We know you've snuck Kon out before!"

Damian: "It's true, Drake. You're discrete. *points to Kon with his thumb* HE isn't."

Kon: "Aren't you the one that fell OFF the top of the GCPD building? Or was that someone else?"

Damian: *tch*

Barbara: "Oh I'm so happy I made it in time for breakfast today..."

Steph: "Oh yeah yeah, me too." *holding an icepack to her cheek that's swollen from patrol*

Cass: *sips from her mug, says nothing but observes. and judges*

Bruce and Alfred watch as the group bickers.

Alfred: "Must you continue this tradition? Surely you've grown tired of it by now."

Bruce: "I didn't start this, if memory serves this all started with you when I was a teenager. Though I did make Dick follow it. He's the one that's kept it going with Jason. It just kept happening and no one fought it."

Everyone: *slow turns to look at Dick who's trying his best to maintain an innocent look*

Dick: *nervous chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck* "Haha...uh...Haha?"

Jason: "So you're the reason I had to bring Roy and Artemis to breakfast together!?"

Tim: "I think the reason for that is because you were caught in the Batmobile."

Dick: "Yeah, Jay that's on you."

Jason: "Oh really? Then what about the time I caught you in-"

Dick, frantically trying to interrupt Jason: "AH HA! Hey! Jason! Bro! Brother...It's not that serious. It's not like it was as bad as the first time we caught B and Selina!"

Bruce: "We do NOT need to revisit that..." *takes a sip of his coffee that Alfred just poured*

Selina, who has been quietly sitting beside him the whole time with her hands wrapped around a mug that says #1 Cat Mom: "Oh I could reminisce..." *smirks when Bruce grimaces as he drinks*

Mixed: "Ewwwww!" "Get a room" "Yuck" "Selina please...I'm eating..."

Tim, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighs: "Oh fuck me..."

Conner, a little too loudly: "I already did but ok."

Everyone: "CONNER!"

Duke, just now walking into the dinning room: " What the hell did I miss?"

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Picnic gone wrong

(This came to me in a vision)

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I have this idea/theory that like when Bruce was just starting out, early twenties, “im going to make a difference!” batman, he was like known, somewhat, by at least most of the crinimals, oh some dude dressed as a bat beat up larry the other day? Hm. skill issue. Type of thing..

And then one night, theres a goon on patrol for some little operation. A more… violent goon lets say. And Bruce lands in front of him, cape billowing, white eyes narrowed, and the goon is like “shiii he does look pretty cool. Fuck ‘im tho.” and he does what any other goon would do, he pulls out his gun and fires. Once. Twice. Three times. 

He sees the bullets make contact. Watches as they hit the suit. Go through it. Because this is still prototype four or five, its not fully kevlar, atp its still basically just cloth with some armor in certain places. 

The goon can see blood circles forming where the bullets hit. Blood drips to the floor. But Bruce? Bruce keeps on walking towards him, not a limp or waver in his step. Because its Gotham. Because if he wasn't willing and prepared to get shot at he should've picked a different city. 

And thats when The Bat becomes infamous. Because what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck he just keeps coming- i shot him three times-!

And years later, when Dick is on clean up duty as punishment for some elaborate stunt he pulled, organizing old files and plugging them into the batcomputer, he finds the file. And holy shit. Thats- actually kinda cool…

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Misreading a word causes new doodles to exist , proceed with caution

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Last week, I switched shifts with one of the day shift security guards and that means I had to do all the routine bag checks before letting people into the museum. At least one every shift, I'd get someone trying to bypass the line while clearly hiding something, and the back-and-forth felt like I was trying to wrestle something from a cat that isn't even mine

Now imagine that with the bats and Gotham civilians where it's a constant game of "What's in your mouth? Drop it. DROP IT"

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Why do so many batman haters write batman comics

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Dick accidentally set his siblings up for failure by matching Bruce's freak too much. Like, that man didn't know shit about raising children, Dick is just built for whimsy and thus immune to Bruce's bullshit. In fact he enjoys it and finds vigilantism therapeutic. Thing is, Bruce has half a second to think "maybe I'm doing something wrong" after Jason dies, but then he gets Cass who's even freakier than Dick and he's like "nah, it's the kid's fault".

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Just wanted to draw them!

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I’m supposed…to kill…you

Not I was going to

or I decided to

or I planned to

I’m supposed to…

That’s outside agency. An expectation or a requirement. Does Stede pick up on the nuance even unconsciously?

Ed is signalling through language choice, whether he means to or not, that he Does Not Want This. That he’s being coerced. That this is against his will.

Ed just wants a friend, and to cuddle that friend’s hand.

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star 😇⭐