#to dick ride over

[maretriarch]

hour three of a continuous rush, your break is 25 minutes late, you're the only cashier/bagger they have on at the front for the entire store, you have an 7+ line of elderly agitated customers, groceries are 300 dollars for one cart now so every single person in the building wants to commit murder-suicide just by entering the store, and your manager comes to tell you to improve your items per minute scan, the fake gay measurement that only counts towards her bonus

[catgrandpa]

I started this post with the intention of asking for fic recs where Bruce gets his kids early, but then I ended up just writing some ficlets

_(:3 」∠)_

I still really just want recs I swear but I wrote these anyway and am incapable of doing more with them so here

☆彡

Dick Grayson is 8 years old when he watches his parents die. Bruce is 24 years old when he sees a young boy’s life fall to pieces. He’s far too young to be a single father. But he sees too much of himself in the child, and he knows in his heart that he won’t be able to walk away from him.

He talks to Alfred about his fears of only furthering Dick’s trauma by failing him as a guardian. It takes some time, but Alfred is able to convince Bruce to find a therapist and take some discreet parenting classes. He’s still Batman, and I don’t think he’s capable of Gentle Parenting™ but he does do better. Plus, Dick is young enough to learn to read Bruce before the teenage hormones kick in so they manage to communicate much more effectively with each other.

☆彡

Bruce meets Catherine Todd by chance because there was a cool park Dick wanted to stop at. She’s trying to deal with her hungry and fussy 3 year old step son, but she’s young and stressed out and hungry herself and she just doesn’t know what to do. Bruce offers to take them out for lunch. He asks Dick to take Jason to the play area in the corner while they talk.

She breaks down and tells him of her struggles with addiction. She does her best to keep Jason fed, but it’s so hard. Feeding him means she goes hungry most of the time because she can’t quit using. Jason wouldn’t survive if she had to go through withdrawals with him.

He’s not even her kid! Not really. Her husband is just an abusive deadbeat so she doesn’t have a choice. She does love him, but she never wanted kids, and she can’t just let a child die when she can do something.

Bruce fills their fridge and cabinets to the brim (he offers to do much more for them but that’s all she will budge on. She has too much pride to accept outright charity, but she will do what she can to keep her kid safe) and he makes it clear to her that he is willing to take care of Jason for however long is necessary when she decides to take the first step to get clean.

Two months later, Willis gets arrested and Catherine shows up at Wayne Manor and tells Bruce she signed up for inpatient, but she thinks it would be best for Jason and for herself if Bruce would be willing to take permanent custody. She stays in Jason’s life, just not as a mother figure.

☆彡

A year or so later, Bruce gifts Alfred with a vacation as an early birthday present. Things have been hectic with the sudden acquisition of two sons, and Alfred has done so much, he deserves a break. Bruce promises he’ll be able to handle two kids on his own.

Turns out, he was mostly right, but only just barely. The kids are fine, the manor not so much. He ends up hiring a few services to help out with general housekeeping. A couple of those workers also happen to be regular hires for the Drakes.

Bruce overhears them talking about how sad it is that those awful people treat their toddler more like a doll than a child. He learns that not only do they leave for long periods at a time while not hiring a proper nanny to watch over their son, just expecting the help to take care of him, but they also lock him away on his own whenever it’s ’not fashionable’ to have a 2 year old around.

Alfred comes back to the manor on August 15th, just in time to celebrate his and Master Jason’s birthdays together. He opens the door and dodged around a very excited 4 year old jumping up and down in the entry hall.

“ALFIE! ALFIE! BOOSE GOT ME A BABY BWOTHER FOR MY BIRFDAY! LOOK! LOOK! HIMS NAME IS TIMMY AND HE’S THE BESTEST!”

Alfred leans over to peak behind the boy, and sees a very quiet, very small child standing behind him.

“Oh, dear.”

☆彡

The day Bruce got the call from Talia telling him she was pregnant with his child was one of the best days of Bruce’s life. The day she called to tell him she miscarried was one of the worst.

The only blessing was that he didn’t need to explain it to his kids. Talia was going to move in once she was in her second trimester, and they planned to reveal her pregnancy together.

He got the call two weeks before her flight out. He begged her to come anyway, he loved her, they could still be a family. She refused.

Six and a half months later, he walks into his bedroom to find Talia standing by the window with a squirming bundle in her arms. With equal measures steel and sorrow in her eyes she tells Bruce she is sorry for what she put him through, but it was the only way to keep their son safe. He gathers them both in his arms and holds them tight as she explains.

Her father had planned to raise an heir to be the Demon Head. He would be kept a secret from Batman until the very end. But when Talia gave the final push to birth their son, he came out quiet. She panicked for a moment until her midwife quietly leaned down to listen to the baby’s breathing and then looked up with a soft smile, she bundled up the small thing and handed Talia her baby. Big beautiful green eyes blinked up at her. The midwife leaned closer to Talia and whispered, “Sadly, your son was stillborn. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, but surely The Great Head of the Demon would be willing to allow you some time away from your duties while you recover.” Talia allowed the woman to cover her beautiful cooing baby gently with soft linen and silk and carry him from the room. Later that night she left her home with her son and boarded the first flight to Gotham.

Tears gather on Bruce’s lashes and he tells her everything will be alright because now they can finally be together as a family. Once more, she refuses. She tells him Damian and his boys are far too precious for her to bring the danger of the league of assassins to their door. Bruce closes his eyes in sorrow, but nods his acceptance. He asks her to at least stay the night together. They fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with their baby boy safely bundled between them. Talia is gone when he wakes.

☆彡

It’s been one week since Talia left and, while still beyond upset, Bruce feels like he’s starting to have a decent handle on things. He is sitting with his boys at the breakfast table, Dick and Jason to his left, Tim to his right, Damian in his arms, and Alfred across from him. They’re finally able to have a relaxing breakfast. No babies crying, no food fights, no arguing, just the sounds of eating and gentle chatter.

He feels a small hand grab his right sleeve and give a gentle tug.

“Boo?” Tim asks, quietly. Bruce feels his heart warm at his son finally feeling like he can speak up without permission.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Why isn’t Big Sister sitting with us?”

Alfred is the only person in the room other than Tim to not startle at the sudden appearance of a 5 year old girl standing next to Bruce at the dining table. He simply sighs, stands up, and grabs another place setting for her at the table.

[eggyrocks]

“i can’t believe people are celebrating a murder just because the victim was a ceo” is this like your first day alive

[strawberrycamel]

hey psst c'mere... no a little closer... a little closer- there we go

Loop lips are part of a racist caricature of Black people. Stop drawing Black characters with loop lips. I don't care how they look in canon, it's racist.

okay that's all you can go

[hood-ex]

Dick: "I'm not going to pretend to be the best motorcyclist in this race."

Also Dick: wins against aliens, androids, and gods in the greatest and deadliest motorcycle race in the cosmos.

[hucowboyification]

Hey lone star fans, just a nice little reminder:

Ronen Rubinstein is still a genocide-supporting zionist and you dont get to go back to stanning your favorite white boy just because the strike is over ♡♡♡♡

[lkluvsu]

insane things goin on in my timeline rn and half of it is you 😊😊😊

brave of you to assume i’m done

[merrill-mcmerlin]

I had a Bottom-Mobei-Agenda epiphany!

I don’t have the exact quote to their canon first time on hand because it was only in an interview and not in the text.

But from what I got from Osmosis:

SQH ends up injured/bleeding

Mobei ends up punched across the room

SQH insults Mobei’s sex skills

It happens because Mobei is big and doesn’t know what lube is

You don’t need Mobei to top to get there. As stated before, our boy is tall, heavy, impatient and has possibly never heard of lube, and sex is the leading cause for penile trauma is sex.

It’s absolutely possible that he would just flipped SQH onto his back if the foreplay takes to long. It’s absolutely possible that he would just try to sit on that dick without any preparation. It’s a fact that he has the strength to crush a mans dick.

Another great point about this interpretation is that you for one can give SQH a black eye because he got an ice pillar to the face.

Also Mobei going horny insane over being punched across the room and has his hands slapped away because he keeps trying to fondle SQH. He’s also deeply offended that he’s not ever allowed to kiss it better.

If you insist on blood, Mobei has claws in most peoples heads and there are other penis injuries than penile trauma, like a torn foreskin frenulum.

The possibilities a vast and glorious!

[epickiya722]

If you ever start like "you are aware... right?" then I immediately am going to think you're trying to make me feel stupid all while dismissing the point I was trying to make, in the first place.

I'm sorry, but when you do this, you come off as some know-it-all asshole.

You don't know me and I dont know you and I damn sure ain't going to take crap from someone over some fiction.

Just because you think I don't know the themes of a story, doesn't mean I don't or let alone are dismissing them.

[bonemeal12]

Dick and Tim playing Ticket to Ride… in my Mind Palace… my special inner world…

[kazunarei]

I'm fucking crying

Shitty meme that came to me at work

It's a Fire Emblem Fates reference

[13curses]

my-brain-is-fried-from-exams-self-indulgent fics coming very soon sir yes sir

[emailandpassword]

If you don’t think that Leon Scott Kennedy cums all over himself with his dick having not been touched 5 minutes after you sit on his face and he eats you out, then I don’t think we’re talking about the same Leon Scott Kennedy

[ishikawayukis]

people complaining about the day6 comeback name being fourever...... how does it feel to be the lamest person possible

[cryingpariah]

One Piece is a sad ass show but this is still top 15 most tragic characters to me

[bloodratx666]

a lot of y'all don't hate democrats enough for me.