#to buck like he’s not 30+ years old like i hate these choices

[eddiegettingshot]

the thing about 7x05 is that the first time i watched it i thought it was bad but i was so confused that i did find it intriguing. but then the second time i watched it, i found it so chaotic that it literally made me disengage. like, the plots were so ridiculous and the choices so stupid that i looped back around to being bored. i don’t know how they managed to make this happen

[alarrytale]

I made comments about Harry not giving fan pics, or posting to SM…after thinking about it more and seeing him perform yesterday with what looked like bloody cuticles (who knows if it was true, but we’ve seen him tear up his fingers in the past from anxiety) I just wanted to share another thought.

It’s more than just putting on a good singing performance for him (and any other celebrity). He knows the minute there’s new pics/info out there he’s going to be torn down with more hate than love most likely. I’ve seen all the memes, the bad angle shots, making fun of his outfit, his hair (discussed endlessly whether it’s a wig, a mullet, or transplant etc), the way he messed up a little on the song, how ‘old’ he looks, how he’s lost his voice - I mean, it goes on and on. What a toll that must take on someone even though he’s ‘used to it.’ It can be said he doesn’t see it, he doesn’t look at SM or whatever, but you can’t tell me he doesn’t get wind of what’s being said. And all the millions he makes and all the self confidence he has, that still has to sting like hell. Especially being ‘gone’ for a year and having a little break from it.

I, for one couldn’t do it. It’s bad enough to look in my own mirror with my thoughts 😂. I know it’s part of the deal, and why he makes the big bucks, but he’s still human and it’s a side we don’t really think if much as fans.

Hi, anon!

Harry has always been prone to a bit of nerves and anxiety in high pressure situations. Remember how he puked before every txf performance? It think he'll be fine when he gets in the swing of things again.

But he's not a young boy anymore. He's a 30 year old man with years of experience in the business. He's learned to say yes and no, and he's making his own choices for the most part. He is experiencing backlash to a greater degree for the first time in his career. But he's the one choosing to shave his head, he's the one with the bad PR relationships, he's the one not bothering to shave and dress up when he's called the paps, he's the one who chooses to hang with zion*sts and dress more masculine in traditional masculine spaces, making the queerbaiting accusations rise. It's his choice to make. People don't need to like it. He's used to people loving everything he does. Most people still do. But he's too big now to not have enemies and critics. It's a new situation for him and he needs to learn how to cope with it.

I do think he sees everything said about him, and i do think it gets to him. He can either conform to popular opinons or he could forge his own path and deal with the crisitism that comes with it. His actions has consequences and he needs to be strong enough to deal with them. So he needs to choose wisely and have somewhat of an understanding what reaction his action will cause.

[charcubed]

hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’)  Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen. 

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them! 

Thank you again for asking :D  This was so fun to write all in one place!

[otp-holic]

Will this be the night? (ALSO IN A03)

A random piece of online advertising unleashes some movie memories of a Summer afternoon in 1932

1.5 Ks Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3) Silly drabble born from my love of classic movies... that ended up not having anything to do with classic movies.

BROOKLYN'S KING'S THEATRE

Poster for Cary Grant's Retrospective. Printed paper 2025.

A poster for the upcoming month long celebration of the movies of Cary Grant to be held in Brooklyn.

Bucky is not expecting a vivid memory of the past to jump at him from a piece of online location-targeted promotion popping on his phone as he and Steve are wandering around the neighborhood on a random Friday.

But the 21st century works in mysterious ways and Google is kindly inviting him to check “Cary Grant: A Celebration”, a month-long chronological retrospective of all his movies taking place at a nearby hipster cinema starting… in half an hour.

He beams as a long string of memories of the both of them in different afternoons and movies plays in his head; how they counted the cents for the admission price, and how Bucky learned to sneak into the movie every time that did not add up to two full tickets.

“Buck, you’ve been smiling at your phone in silence for a whole minute,” Steve interrupts his daydreaming. “Should I be jealous? Worried?”

“Sorry,” he answers, still smiling about the memories. “I think I’m leaving you for Google, they see inside my one hundred years old soul; But I might give you another chance if you don’t mind a change of plans for the afternoon.”

“Lead the way, but can you give me some heads up?” Steve chuckles, more than used to Bucky’s ways.

He takes Steve’s hand to direct them towards the movie theatre and thinks about how much information he wants to share.

Although he is the one who still relies on the comfort of 30s and 40s movies whereas Steve keeps getting bolder with his options, Steve has always loved Cary Grant and Bucky thinks he’s going to appreciate his choice since this particular movie has a history (sad history, maybe) for them, so he debates on whether to tell him or not.

“We are going to the movies. But the real ones, not that shit on Netflix you keep choosing,” he settles for half-disclosure.

“Damn, mister life in black and white strikes again. Embrace the 21st century, Barnes, I think you’ll like it!”, Steve laughs.

“Hey, I embrace it more than you do! At least I look the part of a mid-thirties man from it instead of a fifty-year-old hiding in fucking khakis. Albeit a very hot one, I’ll give you that.”

They both laugh. It’s not the first time these remarks fly between them and having a routine, running jokes, and running pet peeves is very soothing after everything they have gone through.

They’re getting closer to the cinema now, and Bucky can already see the Billboard announcing the retrospective and a small queue forming upfront. He takes a side look at Steve to see if he has noticed and he can certainly tell that his curiosity has peaked.

“Surprise! Call it a win-win, it might be up my alley, but you used to love Cary Grant movies,” Bucky smiles as they reach their place in the queue and glance at the program for the afternoon.

‘This is the Night (1932)’, the poster says, ‘Cary Grant's feature film debut on the big screen’

Bucky is deep in nostalgia, remembering a summer day of 32 when they were waiting in line for the same film and how the evening turned out, but when he looks in search of his partner’s reaction, it’s not what he expected at all.

“Steve, you ok?” he asks, worried at seeing Steve frozen in place.

Steve nods. His whole face is deep red, but at least he is responsive. He looks ashamed and Bucky is shifting from worried to curious.

“Jesus, this movie,…” he chuckles now.

“You seem to remember, then. I thought you might.”

It was not a happy memory: Steve had felt really ill halfway through, looking white as a sheet of paper and about to die on Bucky. They had to leave the unfinished movie and run home, as per Steve’s request. But as far as Bucky remembers, nothing to be ashamed of.

“Why are you acting weird? Oh my god, Steven, are you allergic to this movie?”

The silence before Steve answers is a little too long and the queue moves forward.

“Shit, this is not easy to say and I’m sorry in advance.”

“Duly noted, but could you try to explain? I’m lost and I didn’t expect a full-on confession of something to be sorry about when I decided to follow Google’s intelligent advice to an unfinished movie. I just thought it was a good excuse for a change of plans. And kind of closure.”

Steve takes a breath and starts talking.

“I wasn’t honest with you, Buck. Back then…” he stops, searching for words, nervously musing on his beard. “Ah, I cannot believe this hasn’t come up at some point, but there it goes. I absolutely lied to you that day: I wasn’t sick or half dying and I am very very guilty of using my poor health to run away from that place and that movie, but I did the only thingI could think of.”

Bucky is at a loss for words, he’s still deciding if he is angry, curious, or somewhere in between.

“But… but you were feverish and white as a ghost and you said you had palpitations!”

Steve seems to think for a moment again and the bastard laughs so loud they get a curious look from the people behind. And taking advantage of the queue moving up again, he gets really really close to Bucky who honestly thinks he’s going to try to kiss himself out of the situation since it’s a bulletproof strategy.

But he doesn’t: He goes for Bucky’s ear instead, and whispers.

“I had a boner like you wouldn’t believe.”

Bucky gasps loudly totally taken aback while Steve takes a step back and looks at him in the eye more amused and hungry than ashamed, but still blushing.

“But hey, not all lies! I was somehow sick. And pale since my blood was… otherwise occupied. And I was barely 14!”

Bucky laughs at the dork. His dork. But the information is still making its way into his brain.

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as it starts to settle, “You piece of shit, you pulled the poor sick child card when you were just plain horny. I was worried to my bones as we run to your home. Shame on you Rogers!”

“Me? It was your fucking fault! Yours and Cary Grant’s and your stupid grins and stupid chins, those clefts!” he’s screaming in whispers so Steve Rogers’ teenage boner doesn’t make it to the news, but he’s talking as if he was pronouncing an important speech to the UN, “What was a 14-year-old in the fucking 30s popping one upon seeing an actor who kind of looked like a very tall version of his very male best friend to do?”

He is about to say something, but Steve literally covers his mouth with one hand giving Bucky no other option but to stick his tongue and lick the palm.

“Gross, Buck. I’m not done!”, he dries his hand on Buckys’ shirt before he goes on. “I’m not done because as I was still processing all that, you kept brushing your goddamned hand with mine when you went for popcorn! Over and over and over. It was torture. I have palpitations now just thinking about it.”

Bucky full-on laughs. One of those real ones that come more and more lately and that he honestly thought he would never get to experience again.

They have reached the box office, so he doesn’t push it further. For now.

“Two tickets for `This is the Night´, please.” Bucky smiles at the box-office guy. “He is paying, tho. I paid last time we tried to see this one and he didn’t have the decency to stay until the end.”

He actually feels like a teen as Steve takes his hand into the theatre, as he very intentionally buys popcorn to share, and as they start full-on making out on their seats during the commercials once the lights are out.

“Wanna know another secret, Buck?” Steve whispers a few minutes later, eyes on the starting movie as he brushes Bucky’s hand with intention over the popcorn bucket. His flustered face and recently kissed lips bathed by dancing lights and shadows coming from the screen. “It’s a good thing we were already together in ‘38 when “Bringing up baby” came out because I was able to plan ahead and lure you into that memorable window fuck at our old apartment before the show, or we would have totally missed one of our favorite movies, too.”

Bucky hates Steve with the force of the universe. Or maybe not, but he’s not playing clean.

“Raincheck on the movie?” he manages to whisper back as he drives Steve’s hand to his already noticeable hard-on. Two can play this game.

“Oh, poor Buck. Do you have palpitations” Steve chuckles, lips wet on Bucky’s ear and gripping harder on his bulge instead of letting go. “Was that the memory of the window fuck? Or all the making out? Tell me so I don’t do it again.”

“You are a punk, Steve Rogers,” Bucky answers before standing up to leave, closely followed by a smiling Steve.

Argh, sorry for deleting and uploading again, but i had technical issues with this.... so here it goes again. I need to free myself from this one!

[reylofanfictionanthology]

TO FIND YOUR KISS IS NOW LIVE!  

Authors will be revealed next week!  For now all fics are anonymous.  Treats can be posted through author reveals on 2/21.  We will post an updated masterpost at that time.

To Find Your Kiss collection on AO3 | Treats Masterpost

GIFT FIC MASTERPOST

- Reap the Stars for abbytheatre08

The prompt: After Ben's death, Rey goes mad and turns to the dark side. Only Ben's not dead anymore. ----------------------- She is consuming fire, magnificent in her rage. She will burn the galaxy to its foundations, until the ashes rain down and pile high as mountains. She will gather them into bouquets and scatter them like petals upon his grave.

He will be remembered, and they will not.

Call him The Light Bearer and Joy Giver. Call him He Who Loved and Laid Down His Life. Call him Ben.

- we are question marks that hang above the endless unexplained for AlwaysEverlark

The first time she walked into his club, she was looking for a job. Kylo took one look at her—the stubborn pout of her lip, the determined glint in her eyes, the ruddy glow of her face where the sun had kissed it—and swallowed a lump in his throat that was shaped like the words you’re too good for this place.

They needed a singer. Kira Johnson could hold a tune, knew the old standards, and had a knockout pair of tits to boot. A few slinky ballgowns and a touch of lipstick, and she’d more than do the trick of distracting suckers long enough to part them from their money.

The club solely needed to break even; anything they made on top of the Syndicate’s cut was gravy, and Kylo Ren had been lining his pockets with his own take for long enough that he could see Kira for the lump of clay that she was: rough-hewn, misshapen, but soft and supple and sure to curve under his touch.

- Eighty Bucks Says Sweetheart for Amoreusou

Ben likes puzzles. Rey needs help with a bunch of them. Good thing it's a slow day at the office.

- Seldom Visions for Andrina_Nightshade

After visiting an old Sith temple, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has fallen into a deep sleep when he pricks his finger on the point of a red crystal. Rey become is the first to find him, but his rescuer isn't just any general or pilot, it's the woman he shares a soul with, who haunts his waking hours, who still sees him even in his sleep.

- The Dyad for aneighthdomain

Based of the Prompt: Groundhog Day scenario. Ben and Rey keep getting sent back to the first time they met and no matter what they do, Ben always dies so they stop trying to change events and just live a life time in the year between and couple of weeks and run away together.

- Saudade: The Love That Remains for AnneAnna

- The Delegation for aNerdObsessed

A humanitarian delegation from Naboo arrives at Niima Outpost. Rey is skeptical, to say the least.

- i don't want you like a best friend for anopendoor

It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming—Rose told her weeks ago that he was invited. It was an inevitability Rey was always going to have to face, she just didn’t think that Rose would be so merciful as to also give every guest a plus one.

But Rey can’t really be upset—and she is totally, unequivocally not upset—that Ben's bringing someone because, well.

She is, too.

- Love is Weakness for bittersnake

“He’s someone I found on my recent trip to Corellia,” Rey replies placidly, her face practiced in its boredom. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Love is weakness,” her grandfather reminds her, the way he has for years. It’s why he doesn’t love her. He will not be weak. It’s why she doesn’t love him, either.

- in sickness and in health (with health being less likely) for BlueButterflyKisses

Deciding to spend the rest of their lives together is the easy part for both Rey and Ben; the trouble is in how to propose.

- Snowed In for Blueyedgurl

Never in her wildest dreams did Rey Johnson think she would ever get to meet her favorite other Kylo Ren. She also would have never entertained the idea of the scenario she found herself in. How did a hike in the woods lead to a snowstorm and taking shelter in a remote cabin in the woods? The idea was so ridiculous but had become reality. Stuck inside with a handsome stranger surrounded by a winter storm, Rey wonders what will happen with no power and only one bed. Will they be polite co-habitants stuck in a strange set of circumstances or is there room for something more?

- Curses, Comforts and Capybaras for Bombastique

Arrogant CEO bites off more than he can chew when he angers a witch... And suddenly finds himself transformed into a capybara. Can kindhearted wildlife rehabber Rey Niima help him break the curse?

- To Heal a Broken Soul for Cat2000

Ben survives the fallout of Exegol, but his connection to the physical world is in danger. Rey tends to him as she searched for a way to heal him.

- holding me like water in your hands for Ceallaigh

After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.

- Like a Thief in the Night for chagrins

Their bond won't let them be alone. At least this time it's the middle of the night and they can't get into a shouting match.

- The Chance for Crysania

When Rey and Ben, long time co-workers who have never been able to admit their feelings to each other, go on a weekend retreat to work on a movie adaptation script together, a Nor’easter leaves them snowed in. On Valentine’s Day.

- Awake for cuddlesome

Something inside him is awake, and something inside her is about to wake up.

An alternate interrogation scene.

- darkness rises, and light to meet it for czechia

After the throne room, Jedi Ben Solo and Kira Ren meet again a year later.

- Not Quite a Fairytale for DarkMage13

Rey lets a stranger use the phone of the café she works at late one night. It changes the whole course of her life.

- You Won't Escape Me ('Cause I Set You Free) for DoorKeeper9

- The Canvas of Your Skin for darlingreadsalot

She was incapable of touching him without drawing blood, it seemed. Lines like vermillion paint streaked where her fingers sketched down the contours of his face, his back, and now his chest.

In which a Force bond is splintered, a resurrection goes wrong, a kiss is forgotten, and two almost-lovers avoid speaking for the better half of a year.

- Fleeing the Storm for driverfever

As the granddaughter of an merciless aristocrat, Rey’s life hangs on a thread at the hands of the French Revolutionaries. When her childhood friend, Ben, offers to platonically marry her in order to take her to his home in England to safety, she has no choice but to accept.

But her suitor and revolutionary Hux won’t give her up so easily. Hounded by revolutionaries and falling in love, Rey and Ben must use all their wits to flee Paris and make it to England.

- Equal Measure for dustoftheancients

When Princess Rey of Coruscant calls upon the cursed Sir Kylo Ren to help her escape her grandfather the emperor’s political machinations, she discovers freedom in the ancient familial magic that binds them together.

- Benimina Solo's Late On-Set Force Ability for Evangel10n

Benimina Solo has never, not even once, had an ounce of Force Sensitivity. She's done a great deal to move on with her life after failing out of her uncle's Jedi training school. So when Rey Palpatine comes into her life and suddenly everything changes, she's not a happy camper.

- Splatter for expendable

“You’re Palpatine’s girl,” he says coldly.

“His chief of staff, yes.” Rey’s eyes narrow. “And you have your hand on my ass, Kylo. Kindly take it off.”

“Or what?”

AKA powerful corporate rivals Kylo and Rey put the hate in love/hate.

- The Haunted Mirror for FangirlintheForest

When Rey travels to UK to attend the reading of his grandfather will, a grandfather she didn't know existed until that very moment, she finds a house, and a old story that will haunt her...

- i'm your secretary for firelord65

Kaydel pressed her lips together in a thin line, passing a pile of datapads over the desk. “I don’t know what that pretentious nerf herder has put into your brain, but these are tales of the key roles women have played in past rebellions.” She stood, tapping the pile. “They’re great reads,” she added, with a pointed raise of her eyebrow.

- and they danced across the sky for flipflop_diva

When he was still a child, he constantly watched the blue butterflies as they danced in the sky.

They seemed to be calling him, aiding him each instance that icy-cold darkness flowed through his very veins. The magnificent creatures saved him from the voices. They drowned out the incessant chatter in his head. Temporarily cleared away all the anger. During those brief respites, watching those blue wings flutter in the sky, Ben felt free.

But that’s another life. Another world. Another time. Another, another, another.

And Kylo's no longer a child.

No. He welcomes the darkness now. Embraces it.

- Finding The Answer for FrenchMartiniPlease

Rey pines for Ben Solo…so why does her soulmate mark always drain of colour whenever she gets close to him?

- Almost Unforgettable for HopeRebel

The woman in the mirror has blood on her clothes, cash in her bag, and a letter from her husband telling her it's better to forget. Well, he got his wish. She forgot everything-- including her name. And she wasn't the only one afflicted.

It'll take the combined efforts of gumshoes, a flatfoot, a washed-up Hollywood starlet, and more to get to the bottom of this bad business. In the end, these things always come back to the beginning.

- The Curl of a Sigh for irridesca

During the last song in Maxine’s set, a song she announces is called “Soul Companion,” Ben heads back out to the lobby to look for Rey. He finds her not with his eyes but with one broad shoulder, when he bumps into her and knocks her gig bag out of her hands and onto the plush carpet.

- and they were roommates for Lady_of_Haven

When Ben loses a bet to his roommate, Rey, he has to eat her out for 30 days.

- torn away from you (my heart is broken) for lakerose

The Force binds more than minds.

- If You Take Me for literallynoonecares

She sighed wistfully as she watched her two friends lean in toward each other as they danced, their lips meeting and melding together as they seemed to become one person instead of two separate beings. She had seen them kiss so many times, but this kiss … it was special.“I just want someone to kiss me like that,” she mused softly to herself, her eyes not leaving her friends.“I could make that happen if you wanted.”

- 3 Days in Vienna for Like_A_Dove

Kylo Ren, trained mercenary Alpha assassin, is on a mission—assassinate Chancellor Palpatine and bring his underground authoritarian regime to an end. It’s what the First Order demands, for the better of society.

It should be an easy task. He’s been getting close to the Chancellor and his cronies for years. So how is it that the unexpected appearance of an Omega, with a seemingly similar mission—and a wholly inconveniencing scent—become a distraction he hadn’t accounted for?

- Confidence and Desire for LittleLostStar

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

- Love brightens even the most monstrous parts of ourselves for LRRH17

No one knows since when the giant, black bear has lived in the forest near Theed. Many stories about the origin of Kylo Ren circulate in the small village. After Rey has run away from Jakku, and arrived in Theed she has heard them all of, but has never actually meet the creature. This changes when her and her friends get attacked by bandits on their way back from Otoh Gunga.

- Your Sweetness Comes With Sugar on the Side for Lutrosis

Rey's daughter loses her mother as she wanders around the Supermarket. Ben finds her and the two connect over both being Type 1 diabetics. They find Rey, and Ben and Rey are instantly smitten. As they date and fall in love they discover that Jade and Ben are connected more than they thought and healing is brought to the Solo/Skywalker clan.

- Allegories, or Allusions to Real Life for maq_moon

“Boys, please stop arguing.” Rose rubbed her temples. “Poe, we get it, you’re childhood best buddies, you’ve got a better grasp on his character than some rando of a rando you met at a party. Finn, for fuck’s sake, we’ve been working with Ben for months. I’m pretty sure if he’s a serial killer or whatever, it would have come out by now.” Finn sat back in his seat, grumbling. “Not how serial killers work.” Rey was going to have a headache if this continued any longer, so she lied through her teeth at the reality of a new player joining their D&D party. "He seems nice." She didn’t trust a single inch of skin on that man. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

- A Mad Man, with a Box for MBlair

Rey and Ben meet, move in together, get engaged, and marry.

- Invite the Wild In for midwinterspring

Kylo Ren, the mysterious senator who appeared from out of the deserts of Jakku and somehow brought them back to life, has spent a long and unproductive session on Hosnian Prime. Now, it's time to go home. After all, there's someone waiting for him and so much for them to do together.

(The ancient Sith had some interesting rituals.)

- Purim Party for MissCoppelia

Rey goes back to visit her foster mother for a Purim celebration. She meets Ben Solo who's visiting his parents, who are friends with her foster mother. They have an attraction to each other right away, but try to play it cool.

- The Banished Heart for misszeldasayre

On Rey of Niima’s nineteenth name day, Jakku gains a new wizard.

Jakku is a withering outpost of the kingdom, and its people hope the new wizard - the mysterious Kylo Ren - will bring them the rains the land needs to heal. Rey is a lonely, clanless girl living in Niima, and she has a secret. One she hopes the wizard will be able to help her with too.

- The Smuggler's Bride for MyJediLife

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- Annabel Lee for myownlittleinfinity

Rey keeps finding these ... notes in her locker. She doesn't quite get them. They seem like love notes, but she doesn't know who they could be from. Meanwhile she's paired up with Ben Solo (who hates her despite her gigantic crush on him) for this English assignment. Who knows how THIS will go.

- with my body i thee worship for niennathegrey

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- the losing game for no_big_deal

Sith Princess Rey Palpatine is given a peculiar gift for her Life Day: a Jedi. Not only that, one who is boorish, spirited, and stubborn. But, he presents an opportunity: one that could liberate her from a life under the thumb of her grandfather. She has seven weeks to change his heart before all her freedom is taken from her - forever.

- standing right in front of you for notkellymarie

When Senator Solo's engagement is pushed forward, he and his Jedi bodyguard, Rey, travel to Naboo alone for the announcement ball. The pair despise each other, constantly bickering and disagreeing with each other, which makes spending extensive amounts of time alone together all that more difficult. Until of course, one of them breaks...

- the good, the bad, and the smuggling for OccasionallyCreative

Ben Solo is a seasoned smuggler. And he’s not bad at it, either. But when bounty hunter Rey offers him a temporary partnership he can’t refuse, Ben will find himself pushed to the limits of his skill, patience, and resourcefulness on a job that’s dangerous enough to be his last.

It’s like his dad used to say: bounty hunters are nothing but trouble, kid.

- Whatever our souls are made of...his and mine are the same for Padawan_Writer

Ben and Rey meet only after Kylo has defected from the First Order and returned to the Resistance and his mother. Will the dyad still find a way to be?

- They say that only the dead have seen the end of war for politicalpadmé

“He traded his life for mine,” Rey choked, stomping back and forth in front of him so fast he could barely keep track of her. “He died. He died so I didn’t have to—and it’s not—it’s—after everything he’s gone through—it’s not fair.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, and Poe wanted to do nothing more than hug her, but there was nothing he could say—nothing she would want to hear. Poe remembered all the people he’d lost, all the times he had raged and screamed and cried about the unfairness of it all. “Leia sacrificed herself to bring him back,” Rey declared suddenly, ceasing her constant pacing around the fire as she looked straight at him. “And he sacrificed himself for me—and now no one’s going to know. All he’ll be remembered as is Kylo Ren, but he was—he was so much more.” She exhaled with a shudder and whispered, “He was a part of me, and I—I don’t feel whole without him.” ~

A Force Ghost Ben/Rey love story, with a side of rebuilding the galaxy.

- Cicatrix for Priestly

Getting cut up by Rey on Starkiller awakens something in Kylo.

- I Will Always Be With You for Prix

But she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She was starting to show, and her friends would start asking questions. She would have to give them answers, some of them would not understand, and none of them would accept.

She carried his child. The tiny spark of light woven with darkness, just like her. Just like his father.

—————

The world has gone dark More times than you Or your mother Or your grandmother Can remember. And every hurricane That was meant to be The end of it all Had instead ended In sunshine again.

So believe me When I say; You will survive this And the next one too.

World’s End—Nikita Gill

- all my daydreams are disasters for QueenOfCarrotFlowers

During her search for the infamous Luke Skywalker — the man who predicted a devastating earthquake in New Madrid, Missouri — Rey finds herself entangled in Luke’s family history and with his brooding nephew, Ben Solo.

- on what ground I was founded (when I first saw you) for redbelles

Kylo dreams of Rey after the Battle of Crait. And the yearning is mutual...

Some Force Bond dream smut inspired by "Shrike" and "NFWMB" by Hozier.

- Last Summer for Reykenobi68

Rey had started to get used to Ben not living next door anymore by the time the holidays came around. Then he's back for the holidays. Rey is really expecting things to go wrong after the way he left at the end of the summer. ut is it really going to be that bad.

- The Long Way Home for reylotrash711

In the aftermath of Exegol, Ben and Rey are divided by misunderstandings.  It will take time and danger for them to work things out.

- Under the moonlight for shariling

I don't know why I followed you here. She wanted to reply. Maybe because you're so tall I couldn't help but notice you. Maybe it's because of your hair or the way you move, or maybe it's because of that kind of melancholic look in your eyes. There is something about you that I find terribly attractive and I don’t know what it is: maybe the moon or the alcohol or the wolf I have met before infected me with some strange parasite and now I am hopelessly attracted to dogs, I do not know. She could have said one of these things, any of them, instead she said: “I've never bitten anyone before, and I want you to be my first.”

- Fallen for shipperofdarkness

Prompt: Devil!Ben and Angel!Rey or Angel!Ben and Devil!Rey. How do these two on completely opposite sides fall in love and defy worlds to be together?

- come away with me for silentfleur

Rey owns a tinker shop, but her life changes when she meets Ben Solo and is cursed by a witch. Not necessarily in that order.

- A Picture of Me Without You for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

"I suppose I'd somehow struggle through / But I'd hate to picture myself without you."

It's impossible not to have a soulmark. It's not a big deal, not in the lax and gin-soaked speakeasies of 1920s Manhattan, but it's still a heavy weight to bear, as Ben Solo and Rey find out side by side.

- Lips Raw With Love for stellardarlings

Their kiss on Exegol wasn't their first kiss...

Nor would it be their last.

- Everyone Makes Divine Mistakes for Takekurabehime

Jedi Knight Ben Solo is sent to Naboo on an errand of mercy (and to visit his grandparents). He arrives in springtime; but will he be able to complete his mission without finding himself distracted and bewildered when love and intrigue waft through the fragrant air?

- Glitter & Gold for TearoomSaloon

Rey is lead singer in an up-and-coming glam metal band. They've finally got steady performances, but that means playing at the same club as the Knights of Ren, whose lead singer definitely isn't interested in any competition.

- To kiss like lovers do for the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Ben and Rey spend their formative years growing up together in Medieval Scotland and it looks like they will end up together. Circumstances intervene and Rey loses her chance to be with him. Devastated, she carries on until the day clan Ren attacks Castle Jakku lead by the notorious killer Kylo Ren.

- Snow Turns To Rain for thehobbem

For a moment, he wanted to ask what she meant, but if he was being completely honest, he already knew.  He asked himself that same question over the years, and none more often than tonight, since seeing her again.  Was leaving worth it?  Was going their separate ways worth leaving each other?

 “I’m not sure,” he said finally, shaking his head.  “I’m happy...” he said, and she tensed a little, so he continued, “with my work.  I’m glad I’m doing what I love, but....”

 “But?”

 “But it wasn’t the only thing I loved.”

- Change the Dance for theresonatinglight

- Meet Me in the Woods for thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)

“What do you mean no one goes in there?” A chuckle. “It’s haunted. People see all sorts of weird things in there and some don’t ever come out. You’re better off living with your curiosity.” Rey wakes in a shadowy forest with no memory of where she came from, only her name. With the help of the resident guardian she takes a journey to figure out her past, and maybe even discover her future.

- permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) for Thursdaygirl

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.

- show me the stars. for tmwillson3

“I don’t hate Christmas, I just don’t love it the way you do.” Lifting his head, he pulls a face, loosening up a tangled ornament of a poodle with pink, curly fluff. Rey snatches it from him possessively, tossing it back to the cart. “No one loves it the way you do, to be fair.”

“Now that’s the truth,” says Poe, who Finn invited about half an hour ago to keep him company.

“People have bad taste, I don’t know what to say.” Huffing, Rey scrolls through her phone with more intent. “Neither of you are helping me, anyway.”

“What’s the problem?” says Poe.

“Rey thinks her hot neighbor hates her —”

“He does hate me.”

“ — When really he’s been flirting with her for the past, oh I don’t know, how long have you lived there?”

- I realized that I need you, I wondered if I could come home for VR_Trakowski

Rey is doing exploration work for the Resistance, searching for force sensitive planets so any force sensitives that they find have a place to train.

One day, midflight she finds a slip of paper with the elegant scrawling words of the ones that came before. The ones that she found when Ben still roamed the galaxy.

When she lands on a dark and barren planet she is forced to face the feelings she thought she buried.

- Shadows of the Moon for walkingsaladshooter

The hallways got darker, the corridors grew longer. Shadows stretched across the walls. The ghosts of Breha Manor grew each night.

Rey clutched her necklace. Ben met her gaze.

And every night, there was weeping.

- show the way (the world could be) for writergenie

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crait, Rey struggles to find her place among the Resistance. However, her lingering Force bond with Kylo— Ben— whatever name he calls himself— complicates things, blurring the line between friend and foe.

When the tension threatens to boil over and a desperate plan goes awry, Rey begins to wonder whether there really is a line between light and dark after all.

(Stars do burn brightest in the blackness of space.)

- why don't we go (somewhere only we know) for XarisEirene

The bond snaps back into place, even stronger than before. He is here. With Rey, yes, but with Luke - Luke, who is looking at them now with that same dangerous glint in his eye that haunts Ben’s dreams.

- renewed, transfigured, in another pattern for yodalorian

Rey mourns on Tatooine while Ben is stuck in the World Between Worlds. But neither of them are alone, and blue butterflies light a path back to each other.

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

Crazy Poets Club part 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (It's mostly Bucky dealing with his problems and therapy, but there's a bit of romance). There's also a bit of Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers (you know Buck dealing with Steve's absence).

Summary: In one of her therapy sessions, Dr. Rayner recommends Bucky to find a new hobby, at the cultural center (which is open in the evenings, offering an incredible variety of hobbies and activities) Bucky meets some very interesting people and understands that maybe life has moments to live for and to be happy.

Warnings: None for now, but in the future, topics such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, among others, will be discussed.

A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this story is an original story of mine, I feel that the main character fits very well with Bucky's personality, that's why I decided to adapt it as a fanfic. This could go very well or very badly, we'll have to see. I also apologize in advance because my original story is not written in english, so this is an adaptation and a translation. I will always appreciate corrections and suggestions, just be kind :)

please do not repost my work

Bucky doesn't know which one is worse, the weight of the flyer in his hand, full of vibrant colors, taunting him or the weight of his therapist's gaze waiting for a reaction from him to her latest suggestion. It's time for you to get a hobby James. The words still echoing in the air of the room as, the man in need of a new hobby in question, tries to steady his breathing and his thoughts. Two minutes away from saying one of his typical comments like "beating people unconscious with my metal arm isn't considered a hobby?" but holds back as he looks up and sees Dr. Raynor's eyebrow rise defiantly in anticipation of such a comment. Bucky shuts up just for the pleasure of not giving her the satisfaction of knowing him so well. No one knows me as well as they think they do, no one fully understands what is happening to me.

- "You want me to join a knitting club????" -

- "It's a cultural center James, there's more to it than just knitting, you can find something that allows you to reconnect with reality, your old self, didn't you have any hobbies when you were young, in the 40s?" -

- "killing Nazis?" -

And here we go again, a wry smile from Bucky, an eye roll from the doctor and a whisper that sounds something like "God give me patience because if you give me a bat....." you did it again Buck thinks the one who caused said comment as he mentally pats himself on the back.

- "I understand that your humor is the way you deal with things you don't want to deal with, but this is just a suggestion from me, no one can force you into anything James, things have to come from you" -

But James is already riding the train of cynicism and black humor, which has enough fuel, 100 years of pure spite, to not be easily stopped....

- "...the next step is for me to be put in a nursing home and play Bingo every Wednesday and Saturday with Gertrude and Hans, while we talk about the weather and how our knees hurt because it's going to rain." -

With a sigh of resignation, or relaxation as she saw the time on the clock on the wall and knew that the session had come to an end, Dr. Raynor replied:

- "James, just think about it, our session is over for today". -

Getting up, as he sloppily folds the flyer and tries to bury it in the bottom of his jacket pocket, Bucky decides that today he's going to eat a large pizza with extra pepperoni and cheese crust, from the new pizzeria around the corner from his apartment, because, as the Doc says "no one can make me do anything and things have to come from me, like the fucking dinner I'm going to eat today no matter what", and as he opens the door with a smirking smile he turns to look at Dr. Raynor's face one last time (for this week).

- "well Doc, thanks again for your time, see you next week." -

Sighing, thinking what she did wrong in her old life to get stuck in therapy with what could easily be a 16 year old pubescent boy in the body of a guy who in spirit is over 100 years old but looks like a 30 year old guy living his second mid-life crisis. I guess this is my punishment for being a terrible big sister in my youth. Dr. Raynor replied:

- "see you next week James, please think about the culture center, it's a good place, even I go there sometimes during the week."-

-"wow Doc, I didn't know you liked to knit, and to think that I am the one who is over 100 years old here."-

- "I'm really not going to knit, I'm going to...you know what? Never mind, this is not about me, it's time for you to stop doing this, the world owes you nothing James, none of us are your targets for you to spew your venom filled comments to deal with your problems" over 20 years of career and professionalism thrown away thanks to a grandpa who SHOULD be in a nursing home playing bingo, well done Christina. But his thoughts are cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. -

- "after I'm done with this patient I'm going to retire and move to Cancun, for good."-

Bucky's only thought as he walks down the office hallway is "well apparently my hobby is draining my therapist's patience, which if I may say so, I'm really good at". He also thinks the new green paint they decided to put on the walls, just last week, is the grossest thing anyone has ever seen, "now it looks like the wall is full of snot and vomit."

"Green conveys peace and tranquility, don't you think James?" says Dr. Raynor in last week's session when he made a comment about the abrupt change in the color of the walls. "Well yes, people will find peace, when they die at the sight of that hideous color."

Let's just say the session did not improve after that comment. "nobody can make a joke anymore because everything is taken badly, what is this twitter????? It's twitter? tuitor? What is that thing called? Well never mind" thought James as he walked out the door while the characteristic jingle of the bell hanging on the door sounded. "my God I hate this thing, everyone HAS to know you are entering or leaving any place" with an annoyed sigh Bucky puts his sunglasses back on even though it's already 5 p.m. and the sun is about to set.

Sunglasses are the best thing ever, no one can see how I roll my eyes every time someone says something stupid, or how I judge them for their crappy life choices. Therapy would be easier if I could do it with my glasses on. "James please, this place is safe for you, you don't need to have your glasses on, could you take them off for our sessions?", somehow, I convinced the doc to keep them on, until I fell asleep with them on in the middle of the session and she noticed after 10 minutes. She looked at me with so much hatred and contempt, after that I decided not to have the glasses on anymore in the sessions, let alone the lady lose her coolness and kill me while I fall asleep again. The Doc really needs a raise in her salary just for having to put up with me.

As he walks through the super-congested streets of New York, stuffing his hands into his jacket, his hand collides with the flyer his therapist very kindly gave him with the idea that Bucky is closer to living in a geriatric home than to solving his personal problems and maybe getting a girlfriend. "I really hate this century" he thinks as he tries to concentrate on the pizza he will have for dinner, well not so much, at least in this century there is cheese crust.

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 9 (Bucky Barnes au)

"If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world ?"

"Can I come in?"

It was Bucky's voice – of course it was. You tried wiping your tears away before speaking. A part of you didn't care if he saw you crying, but you still hated when you couldn't hold back the tears.

"Yes." Your voice was husky from the crying and you weren't sure he'd heard you until he opened the door. You were still on your knee, unable to even look at him.  Bucky seemed to understand talking wasn't really what you wanted at the moment. Instead, he kneeled next to you and unexpectedly wrapped his arms around your shaking body. You'd noticed how rare it was for him to touch people ; even tapping Steve's shoulder seemed to hardly ever occur to him. Your shaking stopped instantly as you gave into his embrace, leaning against his chest.

"He was about to call me a whore, wasn't he?"

Had it been Steve, he would've told you no in an effort to comfort you. But Bucky radiated blatant honesty when he talked to you, which you appreciated more than you would say.

"It doesn't mean he's right," he said.

"Maybe not. But that's still the word he wanted to call his wife. How did I even- fuck." You shook your head. "How did I ever fell for his tricks? I knew his friends were trash but...I thought he was the exception. I never thought he'd act like this with me."

"Act how? Rude?" Bucky asked, unsure about what you exactly meant.

"Yeah. The neglect has been going on for years, you know." You looked up at him and got out of his arms to sit properly. It didn't take him long to take a seat next to you, leaning his back against your bed. "I just put it all on his job." You grabbed Bucky's hand : you'd never needed to touch him as much as you did now. Something in the controlled way he breathed and the warmth of his skin helped you think straight and prevented you from spiralling.

"Is it the first time he insults you?"

"Openly? Yeah." You sighed. "He's been petty before but calling me names...never."

"I'm afraid to ask this, but I have to." He looked you in the eyes, searching for...what, exactly? "He was pretty violent when he grabbed your shirt. Was that the first time as well?"

The question made you look away once more. Inexplicable guilt flooded your body as you tried to think of some lie. You leaned your head back on the mattress and closed your eyes, opting for honesty.

"No."

You could almost hear Bucky's jaw clenching ;  his other hand formed a fist, whereas the one holding yours remained gentle.

"He's never been violent intentionally," you quickly explained. "It's just... We've had our fights, alright? And when we start yelling at each other, I always tell him we both need to calm down but that doesn't suit me so he tries to stop me from leaving the apartment and...well. It goes from grabbing my arm a little too hard or just locking the door and hiding the keys. He even threw them out the window once."

Recalling those fights didn't help your tears stop rolling on your cheeks but damn, it felt good to actually say it to someone. Wanda never needed you tell her things : she could just read them when she felt like you were lying. With Bucky, it was different. You actually wanted to tell him what had happened.

"What did you do when he did those things to you?"

"Not much. It only made me angrier so I would sit on the couch or even in my room and stop talking to him until he opened the door."

"You do realise how that's...far from right, yeah?"

"I'm starting to." You shrugged. "This might be stupid but, seeing how everyone here treats me, how you treat me, it's making me realise Darren is not this perfect husband I imagined him to be. He was the easy way, you know? We met, we liked each other and he had a good situation and I could already see the white-fence family every American movie depicts. I just didn't know it would turn into a soap opera." You laughed bitterly at your own not-so-funny joke.

Bucky suddenly got up, keeping your hand in his to help you stand as well.

"What are you doing?" you asked.

"It's still your birthday and I don't want it to be ruined by that guy," he let out in one breath. "C'mon."

He took a right turn after your bedroom door, walking you further away from where the party was supposed to be. You didn't walk for long before he opened an other door, walking you into his own room.

"What's the plan, exactly?" you asked again, more than confused. "I thought you meant we'd go back to the others, and..."

"Damn, I didn't realise how this looks." He let out a nervous laugh and you mentally slapped yourself for going blank over how cute it was. "Nobody even asked you to a proper dance on your own birthday and I want to fix that, if you'll allow me."

He looked back at you through his eyelashes, looking all anxious about your answer.

"What music choice do we have?"

His face lit up and he went through a box of vinyls on the floor. "I only have old stuff, I'm sorry. I believe this should do it, though," he said as he picked out one of the pockets. "It's from 1956, but it actually came out first in the 30's. Most people know the most recent, so..."

"I didn't know you were a music nerd," you said with a smile.  "How very cute of you."

He shrugged as he placed the disk on the record player. Piano notes started rising through the air and you recognised Louis Armstrong's voice.

"May I?" Bucky held out his hand and he waited for you to nod before grabbing yours, placing his left hand on your hip. Your instinct was to inch closer to him as you both started swinging slowly in the middle of his room. His blue eyes were sounding  you out.

"This was indeed a wonderful idea," you whispered, not wanting to break the moment as Ella Fitzgerald started singing her own chorus of Cheek to cheek. Bucky beamed and you enjoyed the view, returning  his smile before resting your head on his chest. His heartbeat became another rhythm to follow and be lulled to. "I can't explain how you make me feel and that scares me, Buck. And yet, it's the best feeling I've ever experienced."  The use of his nickname did something to him : you felt his heart skip, causing you to smile discreetly. "Talking to you is ridiculously easy," you continued, "and I'm not that muck of a talker. Just ask Wanda."

He laughed softly and you tilted  your head up as his chest shook from the movement.

"I know what you mean," he confided. "I don't feel all of the guilt I carry when I'm with you. It's refreshing. I don't feel like I'm being judged at every second."

"I couldn't possibly do that," you explained. "I know a little more about the things they made you do, now, and I'm more impressed at how you came out of this. You're still there whenever someone needs help, like when that fire alarm rang for no reason the other day. And when that thing went off in the lab, you took time to help me. How could anyone judge you negatively?" Your frowned. "Sorry, I interrupted you."

"It's fine," he assured you as the next song on the vinyl started playing (not that you were paying much attention to the music, even though Dream a little dream of me was an all time favourite of yours).

Your eyes scanned his face and when you noticed his own gaze lingering on your lips, you moved  your hand from his shoulder to his neck. You were still slow dancing effortlessly, and you could feel his breath slightly picking up.

"I want to do something," you muttered. "But if you don't want me to, I won't feel bad if you stop me." The last thing you wanted was him to let you do anything out of pity ; you didn't think that was the type of thing he'd do, but there was no harm in making sure. Your fingers fiddled with the short hair on the back of his head and you extended your neck a bit. You felt Bucky's breath on your nose and lips as you got even closer to him, closer than you'd ever been until now.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked in a whisper. "Trust me, I do, but last thing I want-"

Those were the only words you needed. You pressed your lips against his and a whole firework show started in your belly. His hand on your hip pulled you into an even closer embrace as you kept playing  with his air. When you broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his, you couldn't get rid  of your smile. So it was true, what books said about butterflies.

--- I'm so happy to finally post this part!! This was definitely my favourite to write so far, even though it's a tie with the stars scene. :) I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.

P.S. : the tag list is still growing and damn that makes me so happy!! Your support means everything.

P.S. 2 : I feel like this story will be wrapped soon. If you have any request/idea you'd like to see for a next one (short one shots or series), I will gladly hear it!

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3

[twisted-tales-told]

Hey, how much paper have you used so far in binding Choices. To the point you've reached. I want to see if I can afford it.

THIS WILL BE AN OVERALL GUIDE TO CHEAP BOOKBINDING

I don't know where you live, but in Canada...the paper is by far the cheapest part.

For the record,

Book one is around 620 pages

Book two is around 800

Book 3 is (so far) 680

BUT divide all those numbers in half and that's how many pieces of paper you'll be using. (Nobody better come at me for paper consumption. Walk into a chapters, you already hold no credibility)

I use a Canadian based eco recycled brand and I buy in bulk (it's like 10 bucks & free shipping for 4 things of that and each thing is 500 pages and will last you at least 3 or 4 rounds of choices itself)

In my experience, the expenses are Ink and Glue.

Ink. I am very lucky and have access to Costco through my dad's membership (I ask for his card, he rolls his eyes and gestures vaugely it's wonderful) I have very very good ink cartridges. One set of them will last me at least all 3 books. It's for an HP office Jet printer. I have this printer because I stole it from my parents when they retired.

Glue. You can use craft glue? Like you genuinely can, but it'll frustrate the living hell out of you. If you can afford PH neutral PVA glue go for it, if you can't any old glue will indeed work. BUT make a book press (further down)

Other Supplies and how to go about prices:

Davey Board. By far the most frustrating thing to find. I rarely turn to Amazon and I had to for this.

Invest. In. A. Circle. Needle. They are probably one dollar more than straight needles and in the grand scheme of things So So worth it.

Fuck bookcloth. It is a stupid capitalist myth that you need it. Go to Fabric Lands discount section and make sure it's not too stretchy. I bought enough cover material to last me a year for 30 bucks Canadian and they're pretty

String. 100% Nylon, Walmart maybe 3 dollars and it'll last you at least all 3 copies. DONT USE COTTON YOULL HATE YOURSELF FOR IT. It'll break and you'll have to start over 300 pages in.

Make a book press. There's a great tutorial on YouTube and all it takes are 4 big screw things, 4 wing nuts, and 2 cutting boards. If you are using Regular glue make sure you have something separating pages and stuff, and while the cover is drying put it in there. It'll warp less

Specialty things:

You don't need a bone folder, I have one but I only use it for folding pages which the book press does anyways. I still find them helpful just because I get really really bad brain fog, so the bone folder helps me make sure the pages are straight

Fuck using one of those saw things. Get 2 smol but extendable clamps for 3 dollars and draw your punch holes on, and if you want, use an exacto knife, I'm impatient, I don't. I wing it from there signature by signature.

Headbands. They're cheap but you can make them with a piece of twine and tissue paper. Even a cloth ribbon will do. It's really fucking tempting to skip this step. Do not. It's how I fucked up Manacled. There's no coming back from that.

Bookbinding can be expensive, but it's kinda like traveling in that way. You can find cheap tools & paper the same way you can find cheap food and accommodation.

But Printer Ink? Glue? Those shits are like the price of the airplane.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 07

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: fertility talk

A/N: sebastian is in his early 30′s in this fanfic, idk if i’ve ever mentioned it before but i felt i should say it so no one’s confused. let me know what you guys think, i love receiving your feedback always warms my heart listening to your opinions xx

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Y/N woke up to a different yet pleasant environment. The bus had stopped and there were no bumps that could wake her up and the sun was shining into the bus and all she could hear were people on the outside laughing following for some movie. She raised her torso from the bed where she was covered by yellow papers and walked over to the window, pulling the curtains to come to sight with what she had heard and seen for years in pop culture. Las Vegas. 

The lights were off as it was daytime but she could see the grandeur of everything. Y/N had only been to Vegas when she was a young girl with her father who was accompanying her mother to a writing gig and stuff seemed to remain the same. 

Sebastian took zero time to wake up once he felt the bright light hit his eyes. No matter what people said, waking up sober to bright daylight was somehow worse than waking up hangover to bright daylight. He lifted his head to stare at what he thought was his brain playing tricks on him. Y/N was looking out the window, back turned to him in the shortest, tightest shorts that enhanced her backside. This had to be his mind playing tricks on him. 

    - We’re in Vegas. - she rushed to his side. - C’mon, we gotta go out.

   - No. You go out, I’m tired and too important. - he turned to the other side, grabbing her fluffy white to cover over his head and try to stop the light from hitting his face. Y/N however was determined to get him to wake up, after all the boys and Sherrie had left already so she had no one else to go with her and going out by herself sounded like trouble. Y/N pushed the cover off him and onto the floor. - Go piss off someone else. 

   - Put a shirt on and let’s go. - she crossed her arms, one foot on top of the covers so he couldn’t push it over himself again. Defeated, he lifted his torso, rubbing his face and eyes to stare at the woman in front of him. - C’mon, don’t you wanna see Sherrie before she goes back to her work place?

   - I already had sex with her and said goodbye. - he groaned, looking at her with hatred in his eyes. There was nothing he hated more than having his precious sleep interrupted. But yet again he was fighting Y/N over going outside and she really wanted to. - Go meet the boys at the venue, they’ll take you. 

  - I’ll pay for breakfast. - she said, poking his cheek with her baby pink painted nail. Sebastian could not refuse free breakfast, specially when he was in Vegas and everything was over the top. 

The rockstar got up from his bed, looking at the mess of yellow papers and polaroids. He didn’t exactly remember if they had finished compiling them but he sure hoped they had because there was no way it would be possible to organise everything once again. He heard her say thank you as he walked to his own room to get dressed.

Y/N on the other hand was jumping around in her room like a little kid, grabbing clothes out of her closet and deciding what to wear. She lived in New York most of the year so she normally had little to no summer clothes but she found a nice short white summer dress. She grabbed her bag to check if she had her wallet, fully knowing he’d only gotten the rockstar to wake up due to free breakfast, and walked outside her room to find him in his usual dark jeans and a white shirt, cap and sunglasses on. 

  - You do realise that wearing a cap and sunglasses doesn’t exactly count as a disguise, right? You still look like you do cocaine on Fridays. - she looked over everything on the kitchen to check if the guys had left the stove on, which wouldn’t be the first time. She swore that living in this bus was a constant “when will I die” contest. 

  - I don’t do cocaine, that’s for newbies. 

  - I’m sorry I don’t know what’s your favourite dying poison. 

  - Poison would kill you so why add dying before poison, that’s just redundant. You’re a writer you should know that. - he grinned, happy he had corrected miss perfect but instead of getting the sweet satisfaction of watching her explain herself in fluster, she just opened the door and started walking straight ahead. - Hey sweetheart, do you know where you’re going?

  - I’ll google it. - she kept walking like a child whose mother told them no candy at a shop isle. Sebastian smiled to himself and started walking behind her as she asked Siri what cafes were close by. She shifted to the left as they walked into the centre Vegas. 

Sebastian always hated Vegas, it was loud and showy. He had enough to entertain himself with in the city but if he was asked to do a forever tour in one of the casinos that would be a no for him. The only good thing about the Vegas stops in all of his tours were that his bandmates wives would come to visit them so everyone would be off his back. Besides, the other good thing was that Sherrie would finally be off his back to go back to her job at the Hard Rock cafe. He wasn’t a fan of having the same girl next to him for longer than a week. 

He was so lost in thoughts that he didn’t notice the young writer stop in front of a smallish cafe. Once she stopped, he woke from his thought filled mind and looked at the building in front of him. It was small, homey, not like his style but he guessed there was a smaller chance of people noticing him. She leaned against the door, opening it and making the bell sound calling for the attention of some of the customers who had disgusted looks on their faces. Y/N gave them a shy smile, once again feeling embarrassed by the fact that she had interrupted someone’s meal. However, Sebastian was having none of that.

 - Isn’t this a lovely cafe, honey? - he wrapped his arm around her, gaining a confused look from her. - Sorry fellas, we’re a bit late in our honeymoon schedule, late for breakfast.

A bunch of the people who had given her dirty looks, immediately started to apologise making Sebastian grin to himself. There was something he knew for sure and it was that people loved not to stop a newly wed couples plan with their dirty looks, besides, if someone was gonna berate her for going for breakfast at 11 AM it would be him, not a bunch of lazy people. 

They got into a table by the window and Y/N took one of the laminated menus, her hair falling in front of her face as she studied what she could have for food. Sebastian found himself looking at her, the way her face twitched every time she saw something she didn’t like.

 - I found a typo. - she said, a huge smile in her face. - They wrote ceasar salad instead of caesar salad. 

 - You’re such a nerd. - he rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face as he returned to pick what to have for breakfast. An old lady reached their table, holding a small waitress pad. 

 - You two are such a beautiful couple, how long have you known each other.

 - We are ... - Y/N was about to come clean, she hated lying, but Sebastian was having the time of his life making people fell bad about giving them dirty looks, so he was not ready to let this go.

 - Five wonderful years, isn’t it so babe? - he reached his hand to touch hers but she still gave him the “touch me again, you’re dead” look. - Gotta enjoy our honeymoon before we start trying for a little one.

 - What can I get you two, sweethearts? - she asked and Y/N smiled at the mention of finally getting some food.

 - I’ll get a full English and Buck’s Fizz, thank you. - Sebastian handed her the menu as Y/N finished looking at the menu.

 - I’d like some Eggs Benedict with a Diet coke, please. - she handed her the menu too, putting her hands on top of her lap. The old woman gave her a puzzling look. - Is there something wrong?

 - Soda is not good if you’re trying for a little one. - she said making Y/N immediately shot a look that only translated into his death sentence.

 - You heard her babe, better not have that diet coke. - he tapped her hand, trying not to burst out laughing at the devastated look the writer had in her face. 

 - Freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice is better for fertility, sweetheart. I’ll add that to your order. - the old woman turned and walked back to the kitchen leaving Y/N to cross her arms at Sebastian who was wheezing in silence at her face. 

 - Damn daddy, I sure hope that juice makes me magically pregnant. - she mocked him, looking at the table next to her being served the nicest coldest glass of Diet Coke. Sebastian, on the other hand, grew flustered at her words, looking out into the window. - I can’t believe they would believe I would marry you, much less try for a baby.

 - Look, there is a lower chance of people thinking I’m me if we keep pretending we’re married and trying for a baby. 

 - That makes no sense. Besides, I’d rather die slowly than have to carry your offspring. - she mumbled as the lady came back with a tray containing their order and lacking her beloved Diet Coke. Y/N adored Diet Coke which was a controversial choice but back in university she used to down two cans of it per day while revising in the library. Cut to present day and she still enjoys a nice cold glass of Diet Coke with a slice of lemon. Instead, replacing heaven in a bottle, stood the freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice. She didn’t even like grapefruit, it was too sour for her. 

She placed the metal tray on the table, placing Sebastian’s order in front of him and Y/N’s in front of hers along with a bowl of wild berries. She looked up to the old woman, quizzing if she had ordered it or if it was a mistake.

   - Berries are good for the baby, sweetheart. It’s on the house. - she gave them a kind smile and left them to their food. Y/N shrugged, a gut feeling of guilt but yet again she loved berries and free berries sounded good to her.

  - So ... - she burst her egg yolks using her fork, her question stuck in her head and failing to come out. She didn’t want him to get annoyed at her, not when they had spent more than an hour without bickering. - Do you wanna get married and have kids? 

  - Too late for that. - he chuckled but it wasn’t his normal chuckle, it wasn’t that chuckle she had gotten used to.

  - You’re in your early 30′s, Sebastian. Besides, men are technically fertile until the end of their lives. 

  - Men like me don’t get married, we continue our life until no girl wants to lay down with us and then we disappear into oblivion. 

  - Is that what you want? Oblivion? - she questioned, one of her eyebrows raised at his comment. 

  - It’s not about what I want anymore. What about you, kids and engagement in the cards for you?

  - I used to want it but I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to get married if love is something that’s not everlasting. Besides, I do have to work. - she gave him that sweet smile of hers. - Why are you leaving the band? For real, why don’t you wanna be part of it anymore?

  - Just felt like it. 

  - You know, I don’t believe you’re a “just felt like it” type of guy so you gotta lie better to me. 

  - Anyhow, we’re moving into a hotel for the rest of the week so I won’t be annoying you during the nights anymore. 

[whitewolfmoving]

Going For Gold || Bucky Barnes Mixed Martial Arts AU

Summary: Bucky made his choices long ago, now he has to live with the fallout. Can he return to the life he once knew? Can he mend the heart of the girl he left behind? Can he be a better man than he used to be? [Modern au] [Mixed Martial Arts au]

Trigger Warnings: lots of swearing, Bucky Barnes being a whole ass idiot, mentions of character death, mild detail of injuries, arguing, flashbacks, PTSD, alcohol and prescription drug use (non-addictive)

Word Count: 1817

Chapter Warnings: swearing, arguing, mentions of alcohol (non-addictive)

——————————

Chapter Two: Go To Hell

Bucky sat on the bench outside of Serenity’s office; she hadn’t been happy to see him. Could he really blame her, though? After everything he put her through? He sighed, absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder, it always seemed to ache more when Bucky was nervous. He tried not to flinch as he listened to Serenity Corbyn tear Steve Rogers a new one.

“Please, please tell me what I saw out there was a fucking ghost! Or— or a figment of my imagination!”

“You know I can’t do that, I can’t lie to you.”

“You ‘can’t lie to me’, huh? Bullshit! You lied to me about where you were yesterday.”

At that, Bucky perked up. Steve lying to Serenity? Impossible. Steve Rogers didn’t possess a dishonest bone in his body when it came to that girl. Bucky and Mikey had done all of the lying when it involved Serenity as kids. Yet as a general rule, asking Steve Rogers not to lie was like asking a dog not to lick its own butt, it couldn’t be done.

“What do you mean I lied about where I was yesterday? I told you, I left work early so I could help Nat prep for dinner with Peggy and Marc. That way you could focus on closing the gym.”

“Then why’d she call me at 5:30 asking if I knew where you were? You left at 3:15 to be home by 3:45, Steve. You lied to me.”

Bucky worried his lower lip between his teeth. Ah, there it was. That’s where Steve had made his mistake. Sure, he’d left work at fifteen after three, but it wasn’t so he could be home by 3:45. No, he’d taken a detour, and that detour was to meet up with Bucky. Steve had parked his pickup right next to Bucky’s Harley, overlooking the old mill. The two of them had spent the better part of an hour and a half shooting the shit, reminiscing about high school, discussing the reasons for Bucky’s absence when Mikey died. Sure, correspondence was a two-way street, but it’s not like Bucky had made an attempt to reach out to Serenity either. Not once. And Steve wouldn’t let him forget it.

“Ren, I—”

“You were with him, weren’t you?” The way she’d said it—accusing Steve so easily—cut through Bucky like a jagged knife, carving his heart out through his stomach. God, she really hates me.

Steve sighed, defeated. “Look, can we talk about this later? After work? I’ll tell you everything you want to know then, I promise. But he’s home, Ren, he’s back and he’s here. And he came to see you.”

“Because you asked him to, right? Because you told him he should stop by, didn’t you? Because Bucky Barnes isn’t capable of making one simple decision for himself, oh no, he needs Saint Steve’s permission.”

“You know that’s not fair, Serenity.”

“Not fair? I’ll tell you what’s not fair, Steven. Having my best friend abandon me two weeks after graduation, that’s not fair. Having the man I would have moved heaven and hell for not showing up when my brother died, that’s not fair. He didn’t call, he didn’t write. Not once. My entire world was crashing down around me and taking me with it, and he wasn’t here! That’s not fucking fair! Don’t tell me I’m not being fair. Don’t you dare stand there and fucking defend him to me, because I don’t want to hear it.”

Bucky stood as the office door swung open, turning to meet Serenity’s pissed off gaze burning holes into his skin. He swallowed, unsure of what to say. He’d known this was a bad idea but he’d also known Steve was right, avoiding Serenity wasn’t a luxury he could afford.

“I’m only going to say this once so listen well. Whatever he promised you’d find if you showed up? I don’t have it for you, I’ll never have it for you. Coming here today was a waste of your time and mine. Got it?”

Serenity’s words were a punch straight to Bucky’s gut; they’d knocked the wind out of him with no hesitation, they’d snatched the ground from beneath his feet with no remorse, they’d taken everything he knew about life and turned it upside-down right in front of him. He was free falling with nowhere to land.

“Tasha and I are going to my dad’s tonight. We’ll be out late, don’t wait up.” This she’d directed at Steve over her shoulder before disappearing down the stairs.

Bucky stared after Serenity’s retreating form. He wanted to go after her, everything in him was screaming at him to follow her down but he couldn’t get his body to move. He was stuck.

+

Bucky Barnes was an idiot, but Bucky Barnes was also pretty intelligent. Especially when it came to his best friend.

He and Steve had met when they were five, met Mikey and Serenity a year later, and the four of them had been inseparable ever since. Bucky knew Steve like the back of his hand. He’d sensed something was off about the tall blonde when he’d appeared behind Serenity earlier that day. The way he planted himself at her back, staring Bucky down as if she needed protection from the soldier. Bucky knew there was something more to the story, something else that Steve hadn’t told him when they met up the day before. After witnessing the fight between him and Serenity, Bucky was sure of two very important things. One, was that he was going to have to work his ass off if he wanted to get back in Serenity’s good graces and two, was that Steve had lied to him, too—he wasn’t dating Natasha like Bucky had been led to believe for the last four years. Steve was dating Serenity, and he’d knowingly set Bucky up to have his heart shattered in front of everybody in the gym.

“Hey, Buck, you want a beer?” Steve asked, breaking through Bucky’s analysis of the day’s events.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks,” Bucky replied. “Hey, Stevie, can I ask you something?”

Steve sat down on the couch next to Bucky and handed him one of the two beers he’d fished out of the refrigerator. “Sure, pal. What’s on your mind?”

“When were you going to tell me you’ve been seeing Serenity?”

Steve choked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“When were you going to tell me you’ve been seeing Serenity?” Bucky repeated, fire settled in his ocean blue eyes as he took a sip of his beer. He’d sit there and quietly wait for Steve to make his move, he’d sit there as long as it took to be sure that he was given the truth. Steve was stubborn, Bucky was more so. How could his best friend lie to him like that? How could he bring Natasha into it like that? And how could Serenity just go along with it like she had no idea?

“Buck, y-you got it all wrong,” Steve said slowly. “Serenity and me, we— I—”

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long, Steve?”

“How long what?”

Bucky slammed his beer bottle down on the coffee table with enough force to startle the man next to him, if he hadn’t been paying attention. He’d held everything together while they were at the gym, he’d watched Serenity go about her routine as if Bucky hadn’t been there. And he waited, waited for his friends to come clean. But they never did.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Rogers. How long have you two been seeing each other? How long were you going to let me believe you were seeing Nat? Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out? Think I wouldn’t catch you in your lie, huh? And while I’ve been countries away, you’ve been shacking up with Serenity behind my back for four fucking years!”

“I highly suggest you watch your tone. We aren’t shacking up, Buck. We’ve always lived together, you know that. And what was I supposed to do, huh? You weren’t here, you left her, Bucky. You know, Serenity didn’t even let herself cry over you? She told me and Mikey that she didn’t need to because if you could leave just like that, clearly she didn’t mean as much to you as she thought.” By now Steve was standing, pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table. He refused to meet Bucky’s gaze. Both of their tempers flared; Steve’s in defense of Serenity, in defense of the truth Bucky had yet to know. And Bucky’s because out of all the people he trusted never to betray him, Steve had done just that. He was sure his and Serenity’s relationship hadn’t gone cold before Steve swooped in and played the hero, and worse than that, neither of them had thought to tell him.

Steve stopped pacing and carded a hand through his short blonde hair. He chanced a glance at Bucky. “We never wanted to hurt you, Buck.”

“I was right, this whole time, I was right. She didn’t wanna see me. Why’d you tell me to come buy if she didn’t wanna see me?”

“You don’t get to blame Serenity for this. You walked away, you left her behind. When she felt like she couldn’t go on after Mikey died, I was there for her. I held her every night while she cried, while she begged me to let her die, too. And when she was ready to, I helped her put those pieces back one by one.”

Bucky’s arms hung at his sides, he clenched and unclenched his fists. Finally, he looked up, meeting Steve’s gaze. “Do you love her?” When Steve cocked his head to the side confused, Bucky elaborated, “Serenity. Do you love her, Steve?”

Steve nodded, considering his next words carefully. “Yeah, I do.”

Bucky squared his shoulders, eyeing Steve with rage in his eyes. “Then pick one. Her or Nat. But you can’t have them both.”

Steve reeled back, feigning disgust at Bucky’s implication. “I know.”

“Tell Serenity about Natasha. If you don’t, I will.” Bucky grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and marched toward the door. He’d rode with Steve after closing the gym, leaving his Harley just inside the back gate. He wasn’t about to ask him for a ride back to his bike, he was far too prideful for that. 

“Hey, at least let me give you a ride back to the gym.”

“No, thanks. You’ve done enough.”

“Come on, Buck. It’s the least I can do,” Steve offered, reaching for his keys.

“I said you’ve done enough. Go to hell, Rogers.” Bucky stepped out onto the porch and pulled the door shut behind him. He knew exactly what he had to do to get Serenity back…

Bucky Barnes was getting back in the cage.

——————————

A/N: Finally, chapter two is live! I’m so sorry it too so long to post tonight, I kept getting distracted. Whoops.

Uh... can we talk about the DRAMA?! #sorrynotsorry 😬

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged. Leave a like, comment, and reblog if you love it!

-Auri <3

[sirspud]

A Vulgar First Impression of Coromon

Playing Pokémon games recently has been something akin to hiring a fairy princess to perform for your daughter’s birthday parties. The first few times she came around were fun, she made all the kids laugh and play their games, but now the princess has grown lazy, idly watching YouTube while disinterestedly mumbling the same four or five lines she’s been spouting for the past twenty-three years. But you keep hiring her regardless, even though your daughter’s trying to point out that she’s not into princesses anymore because she’s pushing 30, and you’re starting to think she might not be worth three hundred bucks a visit. And she’s starting to smell.

So as the Pokémon community sits and waits for the Diamond and Pearl remakes, because what is Pokémon if not a prolonged exercise in nostalgia bait, some indie developers have been trying their hand at doing Pokémon, but properly this time. First came along TemTem, which was, “Like Pokémon but online”, and now there’s Coromon, which is “Like Pokémon” and that’s it.

I’ll admit, I was attracted to Coromon not because of any underlying nostalgia or a want to replay Pokemon, but because the devs put out a free demo for the game, which is a rarity in this modern age of Early Access and delayed release dates. Intrigued, I decided to take a closer look, to see which warts they cut off and which ones they allowed to fester.

The game starts with our protagonist waking up in a small town with his mother about to go get his OR HER first Pokémon. So far, so standard. But where Coromon differs is that you aren’t some apple-cheeked youngster with a criminally neglectful parent, but a college kid who’s been selected for a prestigious university that studies Pokémon – sorry – “Coromon”. And incidentally, Pokémon scores the first point for having a name that actually means something. They’re monstrous creatures that can be caught in a ball and put in your pocket – “Pocket”-“Monsters”. What the fuck does Coromon mean? Because Coro only has a meaning if it’s in Italian, and I’m pretty sure these things aren’t meant to be called “Choir Monsters!”

Anyway, a dude in a wheelchair who was apparently the guy in charge gives you a magic glove and tells you about these glowing elemental orbs, which are important for some reason I wasn’t clear on, and he sends you out on a journey to collect more by finding six elemental titans and – as far as I understood the process – murdering them and stealing their essence in the name of science.

We choose our first Pokémon from a choice between the fire-type, the water-type or the… ice type? And then, we set out on our journey to fight trainers, make new friends, and shuffle about in the grass for an hour because your gobblefrog isn’t level sixty-two yet.

The first thing that struck me about Choirmon is that it really isn’t being coy with its desire to ape Pokémon. Everything, right down to the statistics of each monster, is identical to the way Pokémon does things. The types have the same names, evolving is still called evolving, it even gives you berries and other items for your monsters to hold. You can battle monsters in the wild, blundering into tall grass to scare them out of hiding and capturing them after beating them into a bloody pulp, or you can battle monsters owned by other trainers in unregulated dog fights. So it isn’t trying to be like Pokémon, it is Pokémon. It stabbed Pokémon in an alleyway, cut off its skin and is now swanning about performing a perverted Face/Off act.

Now, I love Pokémon just as much as the next guy, but I’m no deluded fanboy. Pokémon is not perfect. In fact, it’s a game with a lot of flaws. And in its desire to imitate, Collectamon inherits a lot of the same problems that Pokémon does. Using items, for example, takes up an entire turn, and while this can be forgiven in a party-based RPG, where you have other actors to make up for the guy losing a turn, you can only put out one monster at a time, and using anything other than a healing item in the thick of battle just makes you an open target.

Trying to think strategically is also a lost cause, because again, it’s fucking Pokémon. The only strategy is “use whatever the opponent is weak to” or “mash attack until one of you dies”. And while you could argue that Pokémon’s strong point is its simplicity, it does mean that winning a fight is more a matter of patience than a matter of skill.

At time of writing, I’ve been playing the demo for 7 hours. An impressive run-time for a demo, to be sure, and that’s only up to the first boss. Incidentally, it’s in that area that we meet the evil team of this game, because Pokémon had evil teams, and so must we! I don’t even understand their motivation, or who these people even are! They’re presented to us as if we already know what their deal is and why we should hate them. All I know about them is their name and the fact that they like to hang around in caves. Pitch-black ones that you navigate by wandering around aimlessly getting lost in the samey-looking environments.

Really, guys? You thought it’d be a good idea to preserve one of the shittiest areas in Pokémon? Actually, they follow it up with an even shittier level that plays like the gym leaders from the annoying puzzle gyms got together and tried to devise the most efficient backtracking machine, culminating in a game of Mastermind out of fucking nowhere.

Well, so far I’ve just been going on about how the game is the same as Pokémon. What’s different? Well, for a start, each monster has a well of stamina points that they spend to use their special abilities, limiting how many times you can use those moves before your monster has to have a little rest. So you have to weigh up whether or not you want to waste stamina using that really powerful move or whether you want to keep a steady pace with the weaker moves. Except, Pokémon already did that with each move having limited uses. So we haven’t gone anywhere. All we’ve done is paint the walls a different colour.

Erm… what else? Well, your character speaks for one thing, despite you being able to name them and customise them to your liking. I think we tried the talking player avatar thing back in Fallout 4, and it was just as unimmersive back then too. It means that you don’t really get to impose your own character on the avatar, because the avatar makes his OR HER own decisions without your input, accepting every single quest that gets handed to you without even flirting with a dialogue box because it means oh so much to them to help this random faceless NPC, whose unique name and appearance does nothing to make him feel any less forgettable.

…Ah, that’s something different. There’s a quest system. I’m not sure why. In an open world game, quest systems give the game a structure and a reason to explore the world. But, as we’ve established, Crackmon is Pokémon, and so progression is strictly linear. It’s hard to tell just how much it’ll impact the game, since it’s just a four-hour demo, but a quest system like this can easily turn into a to-do list of tedious tasks for rewards that you don’t need. One of the sidequests early on had me capture a pissweasel for some guy, only for the bloke’s mentor to smack him across the head and have him hand the pissweasel right back! This is the very definition of wasting my fucking time! The only reason I caught that pissweasel was for your quest, and I don’t want to deal with its incontinence issues!

Another way that Cloacamon tries to differentiate itself is though its Potential mechanic. Get this – whenever your pet cockcrab reaches a certain XP interval, you get to directly increase its stats by a total of 3 points, on top of the cockcrab’s normal stat increases, so you don’t have to muck around with effort values and breeding to optimise your stats. Each monster also has a “Potent” and “Perfect” form, with each form reaching these intervals sooner than the normal version of the cockcrab. So the game encourages you to abandon your monsters frequently, exchanging them for their shiny, better versions, which I would argue goes against the whole point of Pokémon. At its core, Pokémon is a game about going on a journey and creating a bond with your tag team of beasts, a bond which is impossible to form if you’re encouraged to chuck your friends in the bin the second you find their better, newer models.

I could go down my list of subtle differences, most of which are quality of life changes, like the ability to evolve mid-battle, or the ability to swap out different moves instead of permanently forgetting them, or the fact that you use HM moves yourself instead of teaching them to your Pokémon. But I’d rather finish this first impression by once again re-iterating that Cocaniumon is just Pokémon. It’s not writing any new rules, it’s not even reworking old ones, and it seems content to merely lie on its back and spin its wheels. And while you could argue that Pokémon’s formula doesn’t need to be changed, I would argue right back that not having the ambition to change has long been part of the fucking problem!

If all you want is more Pokémon but with less bullshit, then go ahead and give Coromon a try. Personally, I wasn’t motivated to continue playing past the first boss fight. Part of the problem was that I had no idea what I was ultimately working towards. Collect all the titan essences, so that we can research them! Research them for what? So we can finally uncover the mystery behind shitty Netflix sci-fi originals?

[geo-winchester]

Lucky

Summary: Yn and Poe meet after a night on a bar, she was knew on the city and he was sang on the same bar as her, after that he show her a little of the city.

A/N: hi! So first of all sorry for been a little absent second I king of inspire on the son of lucky of Jason Mraz and Ximena sariñana, I used that son for one of the parts but I think it can be what ever song you like, I hope you like!

—————————

Yn had been sitting on the bar for a long time, she feel how her hands sweat as she keep hearing at the singer on the stage, she’s been wanting to do this for a long time but she never got the guts to sing in front of an audience but after move to a different city and found that little bar she decide to give it a try, she wait until it was her turn, she gave a drink to her beer before she concentrate in the guy who was performing in that moment, his curl hair cover part of his face but she could see the little bear he had, she pay attention to the song and she recognizer, he was signing one of her favorite songs. As if he could feel her staring he look up and look her directly to her eyes as he give her a smile, for a moment she forgot about where she was and what she was about to do. When he was done with his song she take the last zip of her beer and made her way to the stage, the guy who finish was descending from the stage and wink at her.

-Break a leg- he said with a smile, but when she saw how nervous she was he stop for a moment -it helps if you picture yourself practicing- she nod.

-Thank you.

-Give it up for YN YLN- as she made her way to the piano she could hear the people applauding.

-Hi everyone my name is Yn and I think you’ll know this song- she said.

She take a deep breath before she start to play piano man on the piano, she could see the smile on the faces of the people on the bar when they recognized the song, she smiled when they join her on the chorus and for the most part of the song and when she was playing the final notes she could feel how fast her heart, the people cheer as she made her way down of the stage. She get back to her sit where the barman gave her a beer and congratulate her, she stay for a few hours before she decide it was time to go, before she start to walk trough the sidewalk, she hear someone coming to her.

-Hey- The guy from before get close to her.

-Oh hey, you’re the guy who sang before me, I like your song- she said.

-Thank you, I also like you... I mean your song- she smile.

-Thank you, I didn’t know if I was going to be brave enough to do it- she said.

-Well good thing you did it- he said -This was your first time?- she nod.

-Is that obvious?- he shook his head a little.

-I practically leave here and I never saw you before.

-Well I move here a few weeks ago and I saw the poster of free singers and I thought that I could try out- she said, he nod.

-So you don’t know the city, uh?- she shook her head.

-Not really only the way from my house and work- he nod again.

-Well... maybe you’ll like to see it with me?- she thought about it for a minute -I can show you the cheapest restaurant of the zone?- she finally nod making him smile, he took his guitar before start to walk down the road and she look at him confuse -we’re going to walk to it, good thing you didn’t bring the piano- he wink.

As they walk side by side, they talked about different things but mostly about the musics they like which was the music that make them fall in love in music, she didnt even pay that much of attention to where they walking, but he had something that she feels comfortable with him even in those moments when none of them say a word. When he stop she look around looking for a restaurant but she only saw a market and a few people coming in or out of the market.

-What are we doing here?- she asked.

-I told you I’ll bring you to the cheapest restaurant- he smile.

-And a market is the cheapest?- he nod while he kneel in front of the guitar case and take the instrument -Ok I’m lost here, know what are you doing?

-This is the best way to make money and we can buy what ever we want- he shrugged -you want to go first?

-Not really- he nod.

-I’ll do the first one, but if you don’t join me I’ll keep all the money for myself...

-And you going to let me starving to death?- he shrugged.

-That depends on you- he wink.

He start to play his guitar as he sings, the few people came and put some money on the case, she look at him, she like the way he sing and in some point he didn’t take his eyes from her making her blush, the people who stay to listen him applause when he was done, he took the money before he walk to her.

-30 bucks, do you thing you can do it better?- she laugh.

-Wow a little too competitive no?- he shrugged before he smile -If I’m being honest I think most of the people gave you money because you seen hungry- both of them laugh

-Is part of the act- he said -are you going to join me?- she look at him for a moment before she sighed.

-I really hate you- she said as she get up -If I get more money than you, you’re going to buy all the food by yourself- he smile and nod.

She took the guitar and slowly walk to the open case, she could feel how her body was shaking and with a deep breath she start to play the guitar, Poe recognized the song immediately she was about to sing but he start to sing the song making her smile, the people who was getting out of the market stop to listen to them but none of them where interesting about them, the only thing they care was them, they never stop seeing each others eyes, she blushed when they were done and he didn’t take his eyes from her, she turn to the case and take the money.

-the moment of the truth- she said and start to count the dollars- 27, 28, 29, 30 and... 31...

-That’s cheating! I help you with the song!

-Hey I didn’t told you to help me and a deal is a deal- she said.

-that song didn’t work for just one person!- she thought for a moment.

-Fine, I’ll help you to buy something- she said as she roll her eyes.

-Thank you!

Yn feel like a high school girl with the food he choice for them, a couple of sandwiches, some potatoes chips and a beer, but as they walk to the market choosing what they were going to eat she thought it’s been one of the best nights that she spend with a guy, she didn’t know what but he has something that made her want to stay for as long as she could.

-So what do you do for leaving?- he asked her as he set the food on a table outside of the market.

-I work on a music record- she said, Poe freeze for a moment but he relax when she start to laugh -Sorry, I’m kidding I just want to see your face- she laugh a little more -I worked for a little newspaper from my hometown.

-What changed?

-I don’t know, I felt that I was stuck on that place and that I was wasting my life because I was afraid of the change... so I come here for an interview about a month ago and when they call me that the job was mine I freak out... I mean what was I thinking, all my family, all my friends were there, how can I leave them... My mom was the one who make me come here, she told me that I wasn’t happy there and that I should follow what I think was the best for me.

-She sounds like an amaizing women

-She is- she smiled at the thought for her mother, then she look at him -and what about you? You always want to be a musician?

-meh... kind of, as you my mother make me follow this path but in a different way.

-How’s that?

-She died when I was 10 years old, but I remember her playing the guitar or singing to me so I could slept, she want to be a musician when she was younger and I think that inspired me, but my dad want me to be a doctor and I want to please him so I went to college I kept singing and playing for fun and before I knew I had to make a choice, to please my father or to follow what I want...

-And you follow your dreams...- he shook his head.

-I do this for fun, after a lot of thinking I realize that I didn’t want to be famous, the music was something I share with my mother, I felt that that was the way I could connect with her and I didn’t want to loose that...

-But it’s ok to sing in a bar?- he shrugged.

-Is like I had both of the things I like- he took a chip in to his mouth.

-Wait... so you could just pay for this? Why you make me sing?

-Because I didn’t know if I was going to see you again and I want to hear you, and I know that I would hear you again- he wink.

-You seem pretty sure about that...

Poe was thinking about the first time he met his wife, after a long day on the hospital the only thing he want to do was to get home and spend time with his family, but he didn’t know why he stay for a moment on a car looking at his weeding ring, it’s been a while since that night, and he thank his lucky star that he took that night free, after that day they become close pretty quickly, of course they fight for a few things but nothing they couldn’t fix, she was there when he become the surgeon chief just like he was there when she became the newspaper’s director. When he step inside of the house he could hear her humming on the living room, he walk to her and saw her carrying their little boy on her arms and smiled when he recognized the song she was humming, he hug her from behind and kiss her temple.

-Hey sweetheart- he said before he take the baby on his arms -Hey buddy- he said and put his other arm around her -Have I told you how lucky I am?

-You mention a couple of times- she said with a smiled, the baby move -I think he want you to play the guitar for him.

-He’s not even a year and he already love music.

-Well, that’s because you sang to him all the pregnancy- she said making him smile -How was your day?

-Hard- he said -I just want to come home and be with you.

-We missed you too- she said as she kiss his cheek.

-You know I should thank your mother more often.

-Why?-she asked.

-because she was the one to convince you to come here- he said and she blushed.

-Sometimes you’re a dork- she said.

-but I’m your dork.

-You’re damn right about that- she said, he look at her with surprise.

-You heard that little David? Mommy just said a bad word- he said.

-You’re the one who said a hundred of bad words in front of...- he make her stop with a kiss.

-I love you- he said.

-I love you too.

-Thank god to that because this could be ackward if you didn’t- she roll her eyes before both of them start to laugh.

-By the way I’m still going to complain about your bad language in front of our song- she said.

-I’m sorry I promise I won’t say a bad word from now on.

-Good, because I’ll hate that our son’s first word been fuck.

-How about shit, that would be useful- she hit him in the arm -ok no bad word in front of David- she nod in satisfaction as both of the cuddle on the couch -I really am lucky- he said before he kiss her.

[mtvswatches]

10 Things I Hate About You

Obligatory soundtrack 

1) The late 90s/early 00s were filled with contemporary adaptations of Shakespeare’s plays - Julia Stiles starred in three of those, coincidentally - but, in my opinion, none has been more iconic than 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s been over 20 years since the movie was released, and it’s certainly become a teen/rom-com classic. It’s definitely a feel-good movie, and even though it obviously had great source material to work with, it did so in such a unique and fun way. And it was kind of woke for its time, too.

Disclaimer: I am a bit afraid this whole review will turn into me taking screenshots of the movie and just writing “iconic.” You’ve been fairly warned.

Anyway, let’s get into it!

3) I really love how they managed the “show, don’t tell” technique with Kat’s introduction. Her first scene really shows who she is – a jaded, kind of rebellious teenager, who marches to the beat of her own drum. Or to the beat of Joan Jett’s drum…

She’s shown as the opposite of the other girls, but it doesn’t feel like a criticism of the other girls' more cheerful, sunny disposition. We very quickly learn what she is like, but we have yet to find out why.

4) The next characters we meet are Cameron and the school’s guidance counselor. Cameron is the new student and the guidance counselor is just…

I love her. And Allison Janney proves how talented an actress she is by making the token counselor character both memorable and unique.

5) We also meet Patrick Verona, the resident Bad Boy who had “exposed himself” in the cafeteria. Oh, Heath Ledger, you are truly missed!

6) Michael Eckman  shows Cameron around and he basically delivers the token “school cliques scene”, and since I’m not American, I’ve always wondered if this is a real thing in schools? Like, are there really so many cliques that are so visually different from one another? Each group dressing in a particular style and hanging out at a specific spot? Anyhow, the cliques here are the beautiful people (or rather, the assholes), the coffee kids (?), the white Rastas (or white stoners), the cowboys (?), and the yuppies.

7) Michael’s tour gets cut short when Cameron spots Bianca, and he’s instantly infatuated with her. I’ve always found it hard to root for Cameron at first because I’m not really a fan of insta-love, and he ends up doing A LOT of shady things for a girl who he doesn’t know AT ALL. But more on that later. In fact, the movie kind of makes a point of how ridiculous it is for Cameron to be in instant-love with Bianca by having her deliver this little lecture on love:

BIANCA: Yeah, but see, there's a difference between like and love. Because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.

CHASTITY: But I love my Skechers.

BIANCA: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.

Bianca clearly grows a lot over the course of the movie, but it’s clear that Cameron was in love with her appearance and not her brains or personality, which makes his quest to sweep her off her feet misguided at best.

8) And then Michael presents the main plot point…

The question then is, how is Cameron going to get the girl? It’s his quest to get a date with Bianca that creates a domino effect that brings all the characters together. 

9) See what I mean? ICONIC!

And can I say that I just love Kat? Not only is she smart, but also, she didn’t take any bullshit from anyone, especially not males. She was a feminist before being a feminist was cool. And she does grow a lot. 

10) Okay, two things, A) I love Mr. Morgan, and B) foreshadowing? Sort of?

11) Iconic.

12) Michael seems to have a lot of preconceptions about Bianca – and most of them were kind of accurate, at least at the start of the film. She was kind of vapid and shallow and self-absorbed. For someone who believes that Bianca is not only completely out of Cameron’s league but also not worthy, he does get very involved in trying to get Bianca to date Cameron.

13) This is one of my favorite lines in the movie, probably because it sounds a lot like Buffyspeak…

14) This is so random…

And the movie does have a lot of these little moments of slapstick comedy that almost seem to belong to a different type of movie, but for some reason, they work?

15) And this reminds me of the Veronica Mars of yore, the one I used to love…

16) We meet Cat and Bianca’s dad, and he is very overbearing at first, but he truly grows on you once you understand where all his rules are coming from. And of course, he establishes The Rule, which sets off the movie’s shenanigans – Bianca cannot date unless Kate does.

17) Bianca does prove a lot of Michael’s preconceptions right during her interaction with Cameron, who asks her out on a date, and even though he has been tutoring her she can’t remember his name and after he reminds her of it, she calls him “Curtis.” Bianca very clearly sees in Cameron the solution to her dating problem, and she very obviously manipulates him when it’s clear she’s not interested in dating him. She’ll get him to do the dirty work, and then let Joey rip the rewards. On the one hand, this is wrong. On the other hand, Cameron sort of had it coming? He was only interested in Bianca because of her looks, and he was about to manipulate Kat with total disregard for her feelings, so...

18) So Michael and Cameron set out to find a match for scary Kat. And what do you know…?

They figure the only way to convince Patrick to date Kat is by paying him, except they don’t have any money. So they turn to Joey, who gladly agrees to invest if it means this will get her Bianca.

19) Patrick and Joey strike a deal, and let me tell you, this deal never made any sense to me? Like, after some bargaining Joey agrees to pay Patrick 50 dollars? And I might be daft but how would Patrick be making a profit here? If he took her out, he’d be spending most of that on the date, making the whole thing pointless if he’s not making a profit? And Joey was supposed to be loaded, so why not offer more than that, to begin with?

20) I really love how Patrick assumed all he’d need to do was say hello and Kat would be at his feet, and she gloriously turned him down and put him in his place. He tries again the next day and he gets turns down, again. And I can’t blame her, he was acting like an entitled douchebag and assuming she’d want to jump his bones only because he was hot and asking her to go out, like that’s all it’d take.

21) And Joey gets a little bit of what’s coming to him…

22) This leads to Kat getting into an argument with her dad, making a lot of valid points…

WALTER: Is this about Sarah Lawrence? Are you punishing me because I want you to stay close to home? KAT: Aren't you punishing me because Mom left? WALTER: You think you could leave her out of this? KAT: Fine. Then stop making my decisions for me. WALTER: I'm your father. That's my right. KAT: So what I want doesn't matter. WALTER: You're 18. You don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want till you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it. KAT: I want to go to an east coast school! I want you to trust me to make my own choices... and I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can't control yours!

I can see both sides of this argument, though. He wasn’t punishing her because her mom left, I think he was just afraid they’ll get hurt again and that’s why he was so overprotective. And Kat had just crashed her car on purpose, so I really don’t understand how she managed to turn the whole thing against her father?

23) Patrick renegotiates the terms of his agreement with Joey, demanding a 100 bucks per date. He can’t have had getting something for Kat as his goal at this point, but I think he was just trying to screw Joey over as much as possible, which kudos to him.

24) Michael and Cameron approach Patrick and inform him that they’re actually the masterminds behind this date-Kat plan, and they agree to help him woo her. And I get that Kat was not the most agreeable person to begin with, but it’s still very disheartening to see that literally no one considered her feelings in this whole thing? Like, all of them were so proud they were playing Joey, but she was the one getting played the worst? And Bianca even allows Cameron to go inside Kat’s room and go through all her private things? Everyone was an asshole in this movie, is all I’m saying.

25)

26) And then…

Probably in spite of herself, he managed to get through her shell a little bit.

27) Bianca finally begs her sister to go to the party so that she can go, and what do you know? Kat does have a heart after all, and she agrees to show.

28) Which leads to…

29) Kat seems very happy to see Patrick at her door, although she quickly puts the bitch rest-face back on and pretends his keeping his word and coming to get her did not affect her at all…

30) So, now that she got to the party and gets to hang out with Joey, Bianca demands her sister do not address her in public, and I’m like, wtf?! Kat then begs her to listen, and again, Bianca shrugs her off and tells her to go off and “enjoy her adolescence”, which pisses Kat off and probably hurts her, too. So she decides to enjoy her adolescence the way everyone seems to do, getting trashed and embarrassing themselves.

31) Further evidence that Bianca was, indeed, an asshole… Cameron is the reason she got to go out at all – after he pulled off this elaborate plan to get her sister a date – and she manipulated him by feigning to be interested in him, and now…

But karma is a bitch because Joey might be the most popular boy in school – god knows why! – but he’s as dull as dishwater, and she quickly finds herself regretting her decision to brush Cameron off in favor of Joey.

32) Meanwhile, Kat is truly enjoying her adolescence…

And thank god Patrick was there to catch her because if he hadn’t, I don’t think anyone would’ve helped her.

33) I really love Patrick’s pep talk to Cameron…

CAMERON: It's off, okay? The whole thing's off. PATRICK: What are you talking about? CAMERON: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. PATRICK: Cameron, do you like the girl? CAMERON: Yeah. PATRICK: And is she worth all this trouble? CAMERON: I thought she was, but, you know, l... PATRICK: Well, she is or she isn't. See, first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

34) And Patrick taking care of drunk Kat is the sweetest thing ever…

35) Of course, now that Bianca no longer wants to hang out with Joey and her friend leaves her high and dry, she asks Cameron for a ride home.

36) On the way home, Kat actually opens up to Patrick, a lot. She admits she’d love to play in a band, and that her father wants her to be someone she’s not – her sister. Patrick admits that he doesn’t really get what everyone sees in Bianca, and Kat delivers what’s probably the greatest compliment you could get from her…

She puts herself out there… and gets shut down. Of course, Patrick was probably feeling remorse about the way he’d gotten to know this girl and the way he’d been playing her because now that he’d gotten to know her a little bit better, he could see that behind that badass façade she was extremely vulnerable and sensitive. Kat feels rejected and humiliated, and who can blame her? He’d been relentlessly pursuing her, and now that she’d opened up to him and offered to kiss him, he’d turned her down…

Anyway, Patrick’s behavior, later on, makes no sense after the way he acted here, but more on that further below.

37) Cameron finally confronts Bianca about her manipulative behavior, and to her credit, she is honest and owns up to being selfish when he calls her on it. And I guess she finally sees he’s worth it…

38)

39) This exchange is so silly and hilarious?

Like, Cameron’s answer seems silly, but what type of answer was Patrick expecting? Where could she have possibly kissed him? On the knees?

40) Kat is clearly not yet over the rejection…

41) See what I mean about the jokes in this movie?

And they just look over and go on talking, as if she hadn’t just nailed her teacher on the ass with an arrow...

42) Joey goes to Patrick yet again and offers 200 dollars to get him to take Kat to the prom. Patrick tells him he’s sick of this game, and Joey ups the ante and offers him 300 dollars, which Patrick somewhat begrudgingly takes. I just would really like to know if it was at this point that he thought he’d used this dirty money to buy something for Kate. Otherwise, he was still being a jerk...

43) This scene just gives me butterflies, okay?

And as charming as he is, Kat is still not over the humiliation of putting herself out there and being rejected.

44) Cameron returns the favor and gives Patrick some very good advice, the reason for that glorious scene later on…

CAMERON: Look, you embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and even the score.

This gets Patrick thinking…

45) And I’m just going to add the video here because this whole scene is just rom-com perfection and bless Heath Ledger again, okay? And why didn’t we get more of him singing in everything he did? His voice just makes me feel things, okay?

Seriously, how do you say no to that boy asking you to let him love you? You don’t say no, that’s how.

Same, Kat. Hard same.

46) Kat goes into detention and distracts the coach while Patrick attempts to escape out the window, and then…

And the teacher is looking directly at her tits? And while the distraction tactic worked, how was she not sent to the principal’s office? Patrick was sent to the principal’s office for “exposing himself” with a bratwurst while joking with the cafeteria lady, and Kat is literally exposing herself and she walks scot-free? Hmm.

47) Patrick and Kat have another heart to heart, and to be honest, it always melts this cold heart of mine…

PATRICK: So, what's your excuse? KAT: For? PATRICK: For acting the way we do? KAT: I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? PATRICK: So, you disappoint 'em from the start and then you're covered, right? KAT: Something like that. PATRICK: Then you screwed up. KAT: How? PATRICK: You never disappointed me.

Same, Kat. SAME.

48) #SWOON

49) And this is the part that doesn’t make sense to me. They’ve just had this perfect date, and they’re growing closer, and they’ve kissed, and he clearly likes her. And the reason he didn’t kiss her after the party was that he was feeling guilty about the way he’d gotten her to go out with him and fall for him – through deception and manipulation. And now that they’re much closer and into each other, he tries very hard to get her to go to prom with him, pushing her in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable, and like, why? They’re clearly not the type of people who go to proms, so why not take Joey’s money and screw the deal? Why did he have to keep his promise? Why not be honest with Kat? Why not tell her, I like you a lot and this idiot is paying me to date you even though I’m honored to do that for free so why don’t we team up and scam him? I know the answer is “conflict”, but it’s always pissed me off.

50) Seriously, though, Cameron. Why?

51) In true teen-rom fashion, everyone needs to be paired up, right?

52) See what I mean about the jokes?

53) Loved the Dawson’s Creek reference…

Believe it or not, a lot of people thought DC was scandalous at the time. And DC was so naïve compared to its predecessors The OC or Gossip Girl…

54) Kat finally opens up to Bianca and explains why she has so many issues and why she doesn’t want to conform to high school’s social rules and expectations and stereotypical idea of “normalcy.” She’d had a less than stellar dating experience back when she was way too young and far too vulnerable with none other than Joey, who had slept with her and dumped her right after. Oh yeah, and it all happened right after her mom had left them. In an attempt to prevent the same thing from happening to her little sister, she had agreed to their dad’s rules, effectively preventing Bianca from experiencing anything on her own. It’s kind of a case of the pot calling the kettle black, considering she’d complained about the very same thing to her father.

55) Kat finally realizes she’s been unfair to her sister and decides to go to prom, to their father’s dismay. Kat even swallows her pride and actually apologizes to Patrick for questioning his motives to ask her to the prom, and he has the nerve to forgive her. Dude, you do have ulterior motives, and the girl you like is actually apologizing even though she’s done nothing wrong and you’re blatantly lying, and he doesn’t even bat an eyelash when he tells her “You’re forgiven.” I mean, I love Patrick, but still… not cool.

56) Bless Walter.

57) I guess they’re a thing, because why not?

58) And this is, among many other reasons, why I can’t hold anything against Patrick Veronica…

He got her favorite band to play in the prom.

59) Chastity is such a bitch for no reason? Like, she and Bianca were close friends, and then, all of a sudden, they aren’t? And she’s so mean to Bianca!

60) And leave it to Joey to ruin everything…

61) And I truly love that Bianca is the one to put him in his place…

62) See? He’s a good guy, he was just trying to protect his daughters the only way he knew how…

WALTER: Bianca did what? KAT: What's the matter, upset that I rubbed off on her? WALTER: No, impressed. Fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still lets me play a few innings. You've had me on the bench for years. And when you go to Sarah Lawrence I won't even be able to watch the game. KAT: When I go? WALTER: Oh, boy. Don't tell me you changed your mind. I already sent 'em a cheque

63) And I also have to include the video for this scene because it’s just… *chef’s kiss*… Julia Stiles absolutely nails this one, and it never fails to bring me to tears…

Same, Patrick. Same.

64) And while the fact that he doesn’t immediately run after her always has me screaming, he does make up for all of it…

KAT: A Fender Strat? Is it for me? PATRICK: Yeah, I thought you could use it, you know, when you start your band. Besides, I had some extra cash, you know. Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. KAT: Is that right? PATRICK: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um... I fell for her. KAT: Really? PATRICK: It's not every day you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention. KAT: Oh, God. You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know. PATRICK: Yeah, I know. But there's always drums and bass and maybe even one day a tambourine. KAT: And don't just think you can...

65) This movie is hardly a masterpiece, but it doesn’t intend to be either, and not every movie needs to be. It’s a feel-good movie, and it delivers on so many levels. It’s funny, it’s tropey, it’s cute, it’s romantic, it has a great soundtrack, and you just feel a whole lot better after watching it. It’s the 90s at its best, and that’s why it became a classic.

What I love the most, though, is Kat’s character development. We see this girl who is a badass and super smart, takes no bullshit, holds everyone accountable for their shitty behavior, and has a great wit. But she is not without flaws. She’s closed off because she has been hurt before, both by her mother and her first love. She holds everyone at bay because it’s easier that way. Throughout the movie, however, she shows empathy and a lot of vulnerability. And she soon finds out that she had been missing out on a lot of things by shielding her emotions. She’d missed out on having a good relationship with her sister and on finding love again. What is truly admiring about Kat, though, is that when she’s hurt the most and she has every reason to close herself off again, she does the exact opposite. She opens herself up not only in front of the guy she’s in love with but everyone. The shrew cries and bares her soul for the world to see. Regardless of the happy ending, I think that in itself s truly inspiring, don’t you? 

66) Bonus: bloopers!

67)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[ciarawritesmarvel]

a worthwhile catfish - steve rogers x reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Language maybe, I’m not gonna check tbh and dating app usage which in itself is a goof

A/N: Welcome to Day Eleven of Hello Spring by @ibwhellospring! Here’s a little something something for ya, with Steve and tinder and all around fluffy goodness. There is scope for a part two here so let me know if that’s something you’d read. Lots of love to youse all <3

Prompt: “Where should we meet?”

masterlist in my bio and tags in the reblog! please drop me an ask to be tagged in bucky, steve or all the hello spring pieces!

---

It was just a regular day, or so it seemed. You were sat in a little coffee shop, a cup of tea at your right hand and a delicious half eaten pastry at your left. Your laptop was perched in the middle of the table and you were getting on with some work that, strictly speaking, should have been sent off two days ago. You were rather lucky your boss was so understanding.

After an hour or so, you finished off the work and sent it off with a triumphant smile, clapping your laptop shut and then looking around as if someone else had done it when a few eyes glanced up from their plates. As you were finishing off your own drink, you haphazardly pulled your phone out of your pocket and your focus landed on the little app in the top corner.

It couldn’t hurt to have a little swipe.

You had a serious love-hate relationship with Tinder. Every few weeks you’d go through a cycle of a few days where you swiped with abandon, started conversations with a variety of different people and enjoying most of them. But invariably, it always ended the same, with you agreeing to a date with the one you liked the most and it going horribly. You’d swear off the app for a few weeks and then the cycle would start anew.

Clearly it had been a month since your last disaster date and it was time for you to find a new one.

You swiped left many, many times, mostly down to people’s bios rather than their looks, a couple of right swipes thrown in here and there but nothing spectacular.

After about five minutes, you swiped left again and found yourself on a page that brought the ghost of a smile to your lips involuntarily.

Steve Rogers. 100+.

The picture was of one Captain America, in a dark blue button up and jeans and taken in front of a gorgeous lake as he smiled.

It was clearly a catfish because there’s no way that the actual Steve Rogers would have tinder of all things, you expected he was probably more of a match.com kind of guy if anything. However, the bio was interesting and even concluded with a little America’s Sweetheart joke and you couldn’t help yourself. You swiped right.

Y/N: I know there’s an age difference here but I think we could make it work.

You decided you’d probably found the best you were going to find today and clicked your phone off, stuffing it into your back pocket and tidying up your table in preparation to leave.

You couldn’t wait to get home and put some fluffy socks on. Couldn’t. Wait.

---

It was just a regular day, or so it seemed. Steve was sat on his balcony at the tower, which he’d covered in plants and climbers just to ensure he had a little more privacy. The small window in the middle of these invasive plants offered him a beautiful view that he sketched from time to time. A chance to measure his progress, and mark his ever changing style.

Bucky was sat beside him, scrolling mindlessly through his phone and occasionally glancing over to Steve’s paper with a smug smile. Steve had asked to draw Bucky for a bit of a change and a bit of a challenge, but he’d politely declined and said that he didn’t need anyone staring at him intently as he went about his business. Steve certainly understood that.

“Wanna go for dinner later? Nat suggested this new place downtown, I don’t remember the name. Just the four of us, y’know, with Sam?”

Steve looked up from his work and smiled at his friend warmly.

“I’d like that Buck. 7pm?”

“Seven it is. I really want to eat a good-”

Bucky was cut off but a buzz from Steve’s phone, a familiar buzz that had both pairs of ears pricking up. Steve fumbled in his pocket to pull it out and check it.

Y/N Y/L/N. 30.

He read your message and Bucky saw his eyes light up and the corners of his mouth perk up just the slightest. His grin was huge.

“Found y’self a pretty dame, Stevie?” Bucky teased, drawling the words in a tone that had Steve rolling his eyes.

“It’s the first match I’ve had in ages. Don’t know why you even set this up for me.”

“It’s only ‘cause people think it’s not really you. You need to get yourself out there and Sam and I can’t trust you to do that yourself,” Bucky explained and Steve’s brow furrowed.

“Why would they think it wasn’t me? Who else would I be?”

“Think about it Rogers,” Bucky said, almost but not quite exasperated, “You’re the Captain America. That’s a pretty good way to get matches. I bet there’s hundreds of Caps on there.”

A quick and frantic search from Steve had him finding, much to his horror, the hundreds of Caps that Bucky had described, each one with different photos of him and different bios, mostly consisting of things he would never write under any circumstances. A few even made him choke back a gag. He looked back at his friend with a horrified gape.

“This is theft!”

“Not much you can do about it,” Bucky shrugged, “I’m surprised someone’s actually messaged you. She must either be really gullible or really desperate.”

Steve glowered at him.

“James,” he warned, “That’s an insult to her and to me.”

“Oh, you knew what I meant, just show me what she said.”

Y/N: I know there’s an age difference here but I think we could make it work.

Bucky stood up and crouched beside Steve to read the message and then turned his head to Steve, eyebrows raised with a smug grin adorning his face. Steve’s brow furrowed.

“What?”

“She doesn’t sound gullible,” he said, an amusement in his tone that Steve couldn’t place, “Or desperate.”

“...your point?”

‘Message her back, dipshit!”

Steve elbowed Bucky away from him and he stumbled back into his own chair with an over dramatic thud. He quickly started typing though, and Bucky’s grin only grew wider than before.

Steve: 70 years is nothing. The real problem here is that you’re way out of my league.

He briefly considered showing his response to Bucky before he sent it, but he was unwilling to have him change it and then it be sent without being fully his so he hit send and then held it out for Bucky to see. He nodded slowly, eyes alight with a shine of their own.

“You’ve got more game at 100 years old than you ever did at 20.”

A pause.

“Shut up Buck.”

---

Y/N: Morning sunshine. Any plans for the day?

Steve: I’ve got a super top secret ‘hush hush’ mission but other than that, not really. You?

Y/N: Ah right, of course. A mission. ;)

Steve: Still don’t believe I’m Steve Rogers, huh?

Y/N: Nope. But I’m talking to you anyway, so I think you should be flattered.

Steve: If you say so, sweetheart.

You looked up from your phone to make sure that none of your colleagues were watching you with a silly grin on your face, the slightly flustered look in your eye. Just one text with the word sweetheart in it from your current tinder crush ‘Steve’ had you an absolute mess, whether that be at work, at home or out with your friends. So far, you’d been caught grinning twice and full on laughing out loud once. That was a low point.

Y/N: I do say so. And I’ve got the day off, so I might have a date…

Y/N: ...with Netflix.

Steve: I’d be lying if I said you didn’t scare me for a minute there.

Y/N: And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to scare you for a minute there.

Steve: If you’ve got the day off and my super top secret hush hush mission should be wrapped up early afternoon, why don’t we actually meet up today?

If it was possible, your heart completely stopped. Your eyes went wide as you read and re-read the message on your screen, making sure you hadn’t seen it wrong, hadn’t made up what was happening. You were worried. Three weeks of talking to this guy practically all day, every day and you were already slightly smitten. But at the same time, you were 95% sure you were being catfished. If you agreed to this, you probably weren’t agreeing to meet Captain America, but instead some random man who was pretending to be him, and doing a damn good job at it too.

But he was sweet. Kind. Funny. You felt there could be something there, if it was given time.

Steve: Didn’t mean to scare you off, don’t worry, it was just a suggestion.

“Did you just double text? God, Steve, I have told you before, quite a number of times, that you don’t double text.”

“She wasn’t replying Nat, what was I supposed to do.”

Nat fixed him with a glare.

“Oh I don’t know, have some fucking patience?”

He rolled his eyes and left the room, flipping her off behind his back as he did and she chuckled sardonically at his retreating form. Men.

Y/N: Didn’t scare me off. I was just double checking my calendar. Where should we meet?

Where should we meet? Where should we meet? Where should we meet?

The words played over and over in your mind as you read them back to yourself. You were really doing this. Going with your gut wasn’t exactly a common occurrence for you, but then again, your love life hadn’t been that great. Maybe it was time to change things up.

Steve: Wherever you want. Ladies choice.

Y/N: I know a place that does great burgers.

Steve practically punched the air, and considered himself very lucky that he’d gotten away from Nat when he did. He would’ve really been in for some teasing otherwise.

Steve: Sounds perfect. :)

You quickly sent over the details and agreed to meet there at seven, effectively cutting the conversation short before you lost your cool at work. 7pm. You’d be meeting your mystery man. You quickly fiddled with your phone, making a decision.

You needed to call in a favour.

—-

Now, at 6:55pm exactly you stepped out of your car and walked into the restaurant, trying to ignore the way you felt you teetered in your heels and the irrational urge to pull your skirt down. It was unnecessary, as you’d chosen a just-above-the-knee red skater skirt with a white off the shoulder top for the occasion. Not too much, not too little. At least you hoped so.

Walking up the stairs inside to the actual restaurant area, you mused that at least you felt vaguely comfortable. This was one of your go-to spots with friends and dates alike, with its range of burgers, beef, chicken and non-meat that seemed to satisfy even the fussiest of eaters. One waitress skimming past gave you a bright smile, one that you returned as best you could, and even that was enough to bolster your confidence a little more.

One waiter saw you hanging around the door and came up to you, the smile on his face just a little too manic for your liking. In fact, looking around, everyone seemed a little...giddy.

“Hi, can I help you?” he asked, almost excitedly and you smiled kindly, if a little worriedly.

“I’m here for a date, he booked the table so…” you paused, unsure whether to say this but going for it anyway, “It might be under the name Rogers?”

The man gasped. Audibly. Incredibly loudly, in fact, to the point where other people eating in the vicinity looked up at you and you felt yourself getting more and more anxious, dropping your gaze to the ground. The moment you heard the giggles and whispers around you, though, your head snapped up again and your brow furrowed.

What the everloving fuck was going on here?

The man seemed to collect himself with a stern cough and a deep breath.

“Right this way, madam,” he said, in a far more deliberate voice than previously and your mind was going a mile a minute. You followed him through the restaurant, taking a right and then a left and then one final right before…

You were lead outside onto the terrace that nobody was ever allowed to eat on, the one reserved for VIPs and ridiculously rich people and there, through the double doors, sat a man who quickly stood up as soon as he saw you and in doing so, knocked his chair over.

You bit your lip to stop your giggles as he mumbled apologies and leaned down to pick the chair up. Huge biceps, broad shoulders and an incredible a-

He turned around.

“Holy shit!”

The expression was an involuntary one and you clapped your hand over your mouth in utter shock as you stared at the Captain America, who was looking equal parts embarrassed and smug. Capt- Steve, rather, asked the waiter to give you a few minutes and though he looked reluctant, he hastily left the balcony area. Just the two of you.

“Sorry about the balcony,” Steve said after a few moments of silence that you couldn’t fill, “I tried to stop them but they insisted.”

He still looked kind of embarrassed by this and you decided then and there that whatever strange awe you were in had to stop, for his sake rather than yours. The way in which he spoke was so familiar due to his texts, anyway, and it gave you a much needed reminder that this was the man you were developing a crush on.

“Probably for the best,” you said, taking your hand away from your mouth and smoothing out your skirt just to give it something to do, “There’s a lot of whispering going on in there.”

Steve winced and you realised that probably wasn’t the right thing to say but before you could apologise and change your story, he made the few steps over to you and the words died in your throat.

“You look-” he trailed off as he looked you up and down and you actually shivered, “-even more beautiful in person.”

His words sounded genuine even if you were in a perpetual state of disbelief that this was really happening. You spoke before you thought.

“And you’re actually Captain freaking America so this is going well so far.”

He laughed then, a freeing and somewhat gorgeous sound that didn’t look quite right coming from the lips of a man you had seen in such a serious light so many times on the TV or in the news. You quite liked it.

He moved over to pull your chair or for you and finally you moved, thanking him softly as you let him tuck you into the table. Once he had taken his own seat on the other side, he spoke up.

“So,” he began, and already there was a teasing note in his voice that had you smiling, “You agreed to come out on a date with me even though you were that sure I wasn’t who I said I was.”

You bummed thoughtfully, beginning to see where he was going and your lips parted, smile morphing into a grin.

“I did.”

“Well, it begs the question: why?”

You sat further back in your chair and pondered how to answer it. But truly, the only way you could answer was honestly.

“Because I liked you, whoever you were. You were sweet and funny. We had a lot in common. I had to find out whether this could be…”

You trailed off, unsure of how to finish but by the look shining in Steve’s eyes, you decided that maybe you’d said the right thing after all.

“Nice,” he said, sincerely though, not just as a throwaway comment, “Although this won’t be anything if these burgers aren’t good.”

And just like that, you were out to dinner with Steve and not Captain America.

And, as it turns out, you liked Steve an awful lot more anyway.

[this-is-freeridge]

The Air Between Us

Chapter Six: Mari makes some choices about her future and Spooky leaves her more confused than ever.

Warning: this fic deals with dark themes, including but not limited to teen pregnancy, rape, drug abuse, murder, abortion, underage drinking and underage sex.

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Sobriety hit Mari like a ton of bricks.

“Ruben?” she blanched, “what are you doing here?”

“I came looking for you,” he replied.

Mari snorted and rolled her eyes. “Only took eighteen years,”

Her father looked down, red-faced. “I guess I deserved that,”

“Mari,” Oscar said with a concerned frown, “just give him a chance,”

“He didn’t even bother, Spooky! I was starving and stealing money to pay the bills and staying up all night to make sure my own mother didn’t OD in her sleep or choke on her own vomit and he didn’t even bother to contact me to even see how I was! Why should I give him a chance now?”

“Because he’s here now,” Oscar said, giving her a look that was boring holes into her soul, “and he’s trying,”

Mari wanted to stay mad, not just because of Ruben but because she just laid her feelings on the line and Spooky stomped them down. This wasn’t her night. She wanted to say no and to make Ruben go away, and then she looked at Oscar and he was giving her that pleading look again. She couldn’t say no to that look and she hated it.

She made a mental note to work on her resolve.

“How did you even find me?” She asked with a sigh.

“Um,” Ruby’s voice was heard before he was seen. The shorter boy entered the room from behind Ruben, a sheepish look on his face, “that was kinda me,”

“I’ll give you guys some time,” Spooky said. He gestured the Martinez men into the room and then let himself out, closing the door behind him.

“So,” Mari said to Ruby, “spill,”

“There’s not much to say,” he said, raising his hands in an almost half-shrug, “I may have, on occasion - accidentally, with no intention to snoop - seen you texting Spooky. I called Cesar and asked if you were with Spooky but Cesar said Spooky was with him and apparently Spooky got all worried when Cesar said we were looking for you so he texted the other cholos to find you then when he heard you were at the party he found you and Cesar texted me and I told dad,”

“I thought you weren’t talking to Cesar?” Mari asked; she couldn’t keep up with these fourteen-year-old’s friendships.

“Cesar is still dead to us,” Ruby replied, “this was a one time only interaction because it was for a good cause,”

“Mari,” Ruben piped up, “I know you’re angry and you have a right to be, but please don’t run off like that. Geny and I were so worried when you didn’t come back. I didn’t even know where to start looking, I-”

“I’m not mad,” Mari interrupted, sensing his anxiety levels rising. “Not really,”

She was, but she knew it was over stupid things. She was mad that she never got to live the life she could’ve had if Ruben had tried. But it was been and done and couldn’t be changed and she just wanted a night to stop thinking about all of this bullshit that had been weighing her down.

She told Ruben just that.

“I’m sorry I ran off,” she said. “I was...overwhelmed, and jealous. Ruby, Mario, the twins; they all got to be kids! They got birthday parties and siblings and they got to go to school and they never had to worry about when they would get their next meal! I never had that and I was so angry that you didn’t look for me. I just wanted to feel like nothing mattered! I didn’t want to be Mari, just for a night,”

Ruben hung his head in shame. The action made Mari feel awful, guilt swirled in the pit of her stomach and made her feel sick. Was she being too hard on him? Too overdramatic?

“Not trying harder to have you in my life is one of the biggest regrets of my life,” he said. When he finally looked back up at her his eyes were shining with tears. “I’m so sorry,”

Mari felt tears spring to her own eyes. Things had been so full on - from finding him to meeting his family, her feelings for Spooky, finding out that Ruben had basically hidden her from everyone, now to him finally apologising. She felt as though a huge weight had dropped from her shoulders and shattered around her feet. She was done with feeling suffocated down - she was ready to be done with the drama and start again.

She flung herself off the bed and wrapped her arms around Ruben in a tight hug. He hugged her back, muttering another apology. She felt another arm snake around her back and she shifted to allow Ruby into the hug. It felt good and warm; it felt like family.

“I’m sorry, too,” Ruby said as the group-hug ended. “On behalf of me and my siblings. I’m sorry you never got any of that stuff, and that you never got to be a kid. We’re going to make up for all of that, starting with a kickass - butt, kickbutt - birthday party! When is your birthday?”

“Next Saturday,” Ruben answered for her with a smile, “July twenty-eight,”

Mari smiled back. “You knew that?”

“Other than your name it was the only thing I could get out of your mother,” he said with a nod. “Geny and I already got you a gift,”

“Next Saturday?” Ruby gaped, “I mean, that doesn’t leave me a lot of time to plan but that’s okay. I’ll rally the squad...Jamal, I’ll rally Jamal, and we can come up with something. Who are all your friends?”

“Uh...Spooky?” She offered.

“Okay, guest list pending,” he said to Mari with a smile and then turned to Ruben and uttered, “I’ll have to ask mom about that one, right?”

Ruben nodded and clapped Ruby on the shoulder.

“How about we leave the party planning until tomorrow? It’s been a long night and it’s late. We should be getting home, the streets aren’t safe this time of night,”

“But there’s no time to waste,” Ruby argued, but Ruben was already opening the door and pushing him out gently.

Mari saw Oscar standing beside the threshold as she exited the room.

“Were you eavesdropping?” She asked with a brow raised in curiosity.

“No,” he said, “I was just keeping an eye out,”

She nodded. Mari wanted to say more, about them and about that kiss, but she felt this may not be the time.

“Thank you for everything,” she said, “I’ll wash the shirt before I return it,”

“No rush,” Oscar shrugged, “it looks good on you,”

Mari didn’t reply, she didn’t know how. He was giving her all of these mixed messages - being so warm and caring to her and then yelling and going stone cold; pushing her away when she swore he kissed her back; letting it known he doesn’t want to be with her and then acting as though no one else can.

So she swallowed her feelings and stayed silent, only offering a wave and a small smile as she left with her father and brother.

.

Mari may have made a choice to forgive and forget that night of the party, but she made another choice, too. She needed her own life, one that wasn’t dictated by her mother or even Ruben. She had taken care of herself until this point, whose to say she can’t keep looking after herself?

She had decided to move out, into the world. Step one: finding a job. She had spent the day after the party working on a resume - Googling simple skills, learning them on YouTube and researching on Wiki-How before adding them to the resume.

She had woken up early the next day and put on her best jeans, dark gray, skinny and hemmed at the ankles, and her nicest top; a sleeveless, lemonade pink thing with a high neck that she stole for some stress relief after a particularly bad night at home. She never really wore it because of the memories attached, but it was cute and it fit well and it didn’t look old or worn. She tied her hair into a top-knot, brushed on some mascara and added some eyeliner to her lash line. The finishing touch was a swipe of lip gloss and she was feeling like a million bucks. She was beautiful, confident, put together - everything that she had always wanted to be - and she was ready to go.

There wasn’t a lot in Freeridge. Job opportunities were limited, but Lady Luck seemed to be on her side when she had gone to the little corner store. A tall, lanky boy with a deadpan face, glasses, too-big teeth and short curly hair stood behind the counter.

“Hello,” she put on her best smile as she approached him.

“What do you want?” He asked, completely monotonous.

“Uh, a manager, please?” She cursed herself for losing her mojo, but how could she be her best self if this guy was giving her nothing to go on?

He blinked, and then again: “what do you want?”

“A job,” she said firmly; she knew what she wanted and she was going to get it. She reached into her bag to grab a resume but the guy was already walking off. “Wait!” She called, “don’t you want a resume?”

He looked at her and then, “I’ll talk to the boss,”

“O-okay. Wait! I give great customer service and I’m a fast and enthusiastic learner! Please tell him that,”

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t her best sales pitch, definitely not the one she had memorised, but it seemed to get the job done because a few minutes later, the guy was back.

“When can you start?” He deadpanned.

Mari had to bite her cheek to stop from smiling too brightly but she was so proud of herself.

“Anytime - whenever - now!” She stammered. Maybe it was a little over enthusiastic, but she couldn’t contain her excitement. Not only was she on her way to moving out and being completely self-sufficient, but she even did this all on her own. She knew it before, she’d always known; Mari had her own back and she didn’t need anyone else.

“Great,” he said and then lifted the counter to let Mari through, “I’ll train you now. Can you work now until five?”

“Oh, uh, sure,”

When he said he would train her, Mari thought he meant the whole day, at the least. Instead, she got a 30 minute general guide that included using the register, when to restock and where to find the emergency taser in case of attempted theft by the Prophet$.

And then the lanky guy, Rico, just...left.

“I’ve been wanting to quit,” he had told her as he handed over his keys, “and the boss wanted me gone, he just needed someone to replace me. Thanks again, man,”

He told her not to bother the boss unless necessary and then he walked out the door.

She quickly discovered it wasn’t very busy here, which was probably for the best. To kill time, she was scrolling through Instagram - Cesar’s Instagram, to be specific. She would scroll until she found a picture of Spooky and then stare like a creeper. Oscar didn’t have his own Instagram and while Mari wasn’t surprised, she was disappointed. She was in too deep already, like a junkie that needed a fix and she couldn’t help but think that maybe this addictive personality was genetic - or at the very least, a learned behaviour.

The electric bell dinged, signalling a customer. Not seeing anyone, she continued her scrolling until a familiar voice greeted her.

“Mari?”

The girl in question all but threw her phone in fear he saw what she was looking at.

“Oscar, hey!” She tried to sound casual and happy but she’s sure it came out forced and awkward. What do you say to your only friend just days after you kissed them against their will?

“What are you doing back there?” He asked, nodding to where she stood on the other side of the counter.

“I work here now,” her smile was genuine this time, “I’m going to save to move out,”

Oscar’s brows knitted together and he stepped closer, slamming his items on the counter harshly.

“They kicking you out? Not treating you right? Mari, I swear, if they’re causing you shit, I’ll-”

“Oscar! It’s nothing like that. I just want more freedom, you know? And I figure since I’m nearly eighteen...no time like the present and all that shit, right?”

He seemed to calm down at this.

“Yeah,” he said, “your birthday next Saturday, I heard,”

She didn’t question how he found out as she assumed he had heard it when Ruben mentioned it the other night.

“Ruby wants to throw me a party. Will you come?”

He raised a brow in question. “Ruby didn’t tell you? Shit. I can’t, Mari. I’m...not allowed,”

Mari laughed out loud. “Not allowed?”

“Ruby talked to me, he said Geny doesn’t want a convicted felon in her house. I may be a cholo but I gotta respect that,”

Mari’s blood boiled. Her only friend, the only person who has really looked out for her, isn’t allowed at her birthday party because Geny has a prejudice against him. The two women were just starting to get along and Mari didn’t want to ruin that, but can she really just sit by and let Geny dictate her relationships like that?

Did Mari even have a relaxing with Spooky anymore? They hadn’t spoken since the party. Mentally slapping herself, Mari told herself to get over it. She was getting too in her emotions and she needed to snap out of it.

Opting for some small talk, Mari looked at the items he had set down between them. A six-pack of beer and a family bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos.

“Big night with the boys?”

She meant it as a joke, but he became sheepish as he handed her some money. The doorbell rang again and a leggy blond, much closer to Spooky’s age and almost definitely not a virgin, walked in.

“Not the boys,” he muttered, mostly to himself. The blond girl’s heels clacked against the floor as she walked and every step was pounding the same message into Mari. Not. Enough. For. Him.

Something about her was familiar, too. After what felt like a year in slow motion, the girl reached Spooky and comfortably draped herself over him. When she looked Mari up and down, that’s when it hit her - this was the blond girl from the party. Mari was so embarrassed, she felt so small and intimidated and stupid, she wanted to disappear.

“Spooky, I’m sick of waiting in the car,” she said, “what’s taking so long?”

“I’m almost done. Go wait,” he spoke to the blond but he wasn’t looking at her. He wasn’t looking at either of them, but Mari could swear she noticed him throw her a glance.

The blond huffed and stomped a foot. “I’m not just some hyna you can boss around, you know!”

“Then leave,” he snapped.

The blond pouted, looked at Mari and then back at Spooky.

“I’ll be in the car,”

And then she was gone as though she didn’t just flip Mari’s perception of the world upside down.

She didn’t know what to say. Not only had she kissed her friend but that friend wasn’t even single. She had read the signs completely wrong - he wasn’t interested in her at all! Was she a homewrecker? How could she fix this? She was always too emotionally vulnerable for her own good. She felt things too fast and too hard and she could never bottle things up. It was like her mouth and her heart worked faster than her brain so her feelings were never masked.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. When Cady Heron talked about word vomit, Mari knew exactly what she meant. “I never should’ve kissed you like that, I didn’t know you were...you know, involved,”

He didn’t look at her either. Was he ashamed for not telling her?

“It was nothin’,” he said.

Mari could feel the word vomit threatening to spill at any second. She may not have known about the girl, and she may have fucked up royally, but it wasn’t nothing to her. She had feelings for him and she thought he might have something for her.

“Spooky, do you believe in love at first sight?” She wanted to smack herself the second it was said, but she couldn’t undo it now - may as well roll with the punches.

She snuck a glance at him and saw him shrug. She looked down as soon as he began to raise his head to look at her.

“Love is a chemical reaction in your brain,” he said, “easily triggered.”

She huffed a laugh at his answer. Of course he would say some smart, factual shit like that. If she had learned anything about him since the day they met, it’s that he was a lot more level-headed than people give him credit.

“Well,” she spoke softly like she was barely allowing the words to leave her lips. “I think you triggered my chemical reaction,” finding the courage to look at him, she offered a small smile, “I’m not saying I’m in love with you, but you did something to me when I met you. I like you. I think about you all the time and I get excited at the thought of seeing you, or even just talking to you. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know because that kiss may have been a mistake but it wasn’t nothing,”

He nodded, but he looked sad. His dark brown eyes weren’t sparkling with mischief like they usually do and Mari suddenly wished she hadn’t said anything.

“Here’s your change,” she said, handing him some coins as she desperately changed the subject. “You should get back to her, she’s waiting,”

Spooky nodded again and wiped his face with a large hand. He grabbed his things and headed for the door.

He stopped before he left. There was a pained look on his face, as though Mari’s confession had affected him somehow. He was in his head - Mari was smart and beautiful, but she didn’t know what she was saying. The sensible side of him dominated and that side knew he couldn’t entertain those feelings; he wasn’t good for her, she was too young to get tied up in this life. Still, there was a devil whispering things in his war, too, and for just a minute that devil won over.

Right before he left, he paused and told her, “I’m not involved. And you look good,”

And then he was gone, like he was never even there,

Mari slumped and held her head in her hands. What the fuck did he want from her? There was something there, something electric in the air between - she could feel it whenever they were together, but he was giving her so many different signals.

Her phone rang and pulled her out of her thoughts and back into the present. She didn’t bother checking caller ID as she answered, expecting it to be Ruben asking where she is or Ruby quizzing her on her favourites as he planned her party.

“Hello?”

“Mari!” Ruby’s voice called from the other side, “quick, are you more of a strawberry or chocolate girl? And yellow-gold or rose gold? Oh! And edible glitter or gold flakes?”

“Strawberry, rose gold, gold flakes,” she rattled off, “done?”

“Done, thanks,”

She ended the call and sighed. She had to snap out of this funk that Spooky had put her in. Maybe it’s for the best that he wasn’t coming; maybe she just needed some time away from him in order to get over him.

The phone chimed again and she answered with a groan. She was at work and it was hard enough to stay focused with everything else that was on her mind, she didn’t need Ruby playing twenty-questions too.

“Ruby, I-” she started, but was immediately interrupted by a woman yelling.

“Mariana Martinez!”

Her mother’s voice rang out and Mari froze, feeling as though she was paralysed and trapped in a nightmare.

“Where the fuck did you g-”

Mari ended the call, set her phone to silent and shoved it in her pocket. She would remind herself to block that number when she got home.

As her heart raced and she started to distract herself with work, it occurred to her that she had answered the call with “Ruby”. That’s when Mari realised one thing: that’s all the information her mother would need to find her, and it was only a matter of time until she did.

.

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