#to be someone who has lost so deeply | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deoidesign · 7 months ago

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If William had to fall in love with ONE cursed pirate, who-

uhmm, I guess Scrappy and Big are pretty busy being lesbi- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE

#asks #anon #thought this would be funny and #it IS.#pooliam #do I have a tag for this?#wh..#why would I have a tag for this #well. I'm starting a tag for this #guys please it would be so funny if we made like a ton of content about these guys #I want people to start this comic thinking it's about these two guys #and they never even meet eachother #please #but also theyre SUCH a good ship #it's like so... evocative...?#emotionally #to be someone who has lost so deeply #and someone who is.. well. living on stolen time #to meet #to meet. from the lighthouse #meant to ward away a ship #and from the ship #which he can never leave #you have to stay away #but you can't...#and any moment your time could run out...#but to share what you have left...#ITS SO GOOD #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #how did I accidentally come up w such a good pairing by just like making 2 guys

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cconfusedkat · 16 days ago

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(shaking hands, functioning on three iced coffees, not beta read we just die) (LIL BRO TREATING THIS LIKE AO3Anyways yeah i did not read anything i typed here a second time so my wording might Suck Major Kuss)

Hey chat! sorry my holiday depression unfortunately kicked in, i had a ,, relatively decent Eid (cuz i dont celebrate christmas) ...? so i hope everyone had a relatively better holiday than i did… 💦

My friends often tell me i look like my art and i kinda see it. Hooray! Meeting the artist! Except i took matters into my own hands of making my own collage because I Do Not Have Enough Storage Space For Any Other Editing App

Additional shitpost ❤️ the art I've been most proud of are not actually in here, really! I'm mainly proud of the fanart i made for the few smiling critters AU's aaaall the way back feb-march but. I guess the stuff i liked the most i did this year was probably for the one who wilts? Im trying to think of stuff earlier than that. I noticed i definitely had an improvement in art, and i learned i do have a preference of drawing certain ways now too lmao- the fun of art! I hope to improve more in 2025 :-)

Herm,, all jokes aside, im glad people like my art...?? I am not a very Secure artist myself (already taking me five minutes to type that out and consider myself as an artist) so im SHOCKED when people Actually like my things. My doodles. The sometimes rare occasion of real art i put out there. Like! Wow! Thats crazy

Id have to say the same for youtube- im currently at 456 subscribers 🥺❤️ that is huge to me,, i wouldnt have expected me posting for the first time in years on youtube would result to me getting this many subscribers? ? .???

Im very, VERY thankful for the people ive met this year through fandom and generally. Unfortunately—for the past few months—Ive hit a really low stump in my mental health that limits me from talking to people without getting super drained, even on social media i kinda struggle with being active again. I am thankful for the people that continue to stick around and know im the way that i am,, one day ill be mentally stronger and everyone is gonna see my growth as soon as i can ,, Actually leave my own home and hopefully start a new. I didnt really consider that until one of my friends shared its experiences with me and i GENUINELY realized i can run away and get better one day,, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,, there IS,, but not now. Not today. Not in a few months. Itll take me years to heal but 2025 and ongoing years as i get more freedom to do so,,

UHHHH UHHH. ASIDE FROM CHEESY RANTING OF HAVING HOPES FOR THE FUTURE, YAPYAPYAP- i got a drawing tablet (again another thing my friend inspired me for- technically two major things in a row it inspired me for- hope in the future and drawing BWAHAHA-) and uhhh. HmMMOOHHH YEAH I REUNITED MY MEOWMEOWS! HOORA🎊🎊🎊🎊

my 2025 goals are not just improvement in art,, but in hopes of getting a full time job (since my last full time UMM. did NOT work out well! How am i gonna learn to pay my taxes on my own dawg,) and trying to get a place of my own since i missed out on that two years ago (or one? One year ago? I DUNNO..!!!!) , therapy and trying to heal better compared to my terrible stumps of 2022-2024,, i dunno what else but. Maybe working on my social skills at some point 🗿🗿 a far fetched goal is moving out of state completely and also going on testosterone but that is farrrr from now </33

Thank you lot for following and keeping up with my goofiness i gen did not think an animanga nerd with a passion of indie and mascot horror games could reach 510 followers within one year HELPPP thats crazy

On less serious goals though i hope on watching more animes than reading manga in 2025 BWAHAHAGAHSAJD i read manga more and anime is Extremely Rare for me to watch but both jjk and Beastars have all ive been watching as of recent lol- trust i will be such a geek (girl Please that is NAWT something to look forward to) (YES IT IS. HAVE YOU NO WHIMSY?)

#Welcome back to “sydneys yapfest.” Today i bawl my eyes out for 20 minutes and then go back to hide into the catacombs! Oh how fun #And well i guess OFF + DW + STP have been on my mind too lmao- OUH YEAH. I GOT $100 IN ROBUX. Made a looey skin. Teehee!#Uhh i lost a lot of people this year but. Yknow. Most of them were really shitasses! So! Hey! Positivity wins again #<- Like it genuinely does- being around people who are more positive than self depreciative has helped me a lot more in recovering #UMMMM. YEAH. YUH. MMHM. THATS ALL I GOT. Im scared of new years! so ill see you guys next year probably? (LIKE IN JAN)#Thanks for making this year so silly and wonderful ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹💟💟 ill probably post if i get any asks but therell be more inactivity due -#- to seasonal depression TvT... but ill be better in six months time! June! We got this chat we will NOT let depression kick our asses 🤺🤺#Ok yeah thats all for now- YAHOO! Someone hold my hand for the next few days im Deeply Terrified Of New Years Countdowns #sydneys thoughts

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llycaons · 5 months ago

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me and a beloved mewtual going LITERALLY and EXACTLYY to each other as we reaffirm a core part of the story being wwx's overall journey in his social dynamics to stability and security as he goes, not without tragedy and loss, but from a contentious and unsupportive main relationship in a hostile social setting that degenerates quickly into dysfunction and instability and violence to end up with a supportive and healthy and happy life partnership with someone whose main life goals involve taking care of him

#like YES wwx lost so much and he was truly happy in some aspects of LP and it was so unfair what he lost #but starting the story being so close to jc and then ending it being so close to lej was unquestionably a net benefit for him #and im someone who does support reconciliation but it's a happy ending that wwx is with someone #who can and will prioritize him and care for him and support him and prove himself trustworthy and a moral equal #in the way that wwx needs #not that it doesn't hurt. it probably hurts jc more tho #and um how do I say this. I don't rly care? after all he's done to wwx he doesn't even have the right to be in the same room as him #let alone demand shit from him. any reconciliation HAS to come with sincere and heartfelt apology #and if wwx rides off into the sunset w lwj and jc is left alone and miserable well. that's tragic but that's also due to his own actions #like dude you treated him like that what did you expect...#like at the end of the day. actions have consequences and shit #'well he didn't know about xyz' the shit he was doing to wwx both before and after he lost his gc was insane sorry #jc acts on emotion amd doesn't stop to think he might not have all the info...#also like. I get him being angry abt jyl even a decade abd a half after the fact #but attacking someone ill and unarmed multiple times as they're trying to flee #and intentionally using their phobia to terrorize them. is just deeply cruel and malicious and ignoble. he's a shitty person #idk how much he cries. 40 year old minor....#like personally I don't consider him abusove as a brother but he's clearly ready and willing to abuse his power as a sect leader #when he gets mad enough #but yeah sect leader and uncle and brother of the year 🙄#cql txp

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hephaestuscrew · 1 year ago

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By the way, I am still thinking about the Greater Boston Season 4 finale, and I am obsessed with the idea that when you have days where you wake feeling strange and unsettled without any identifiable cause, it might be because someone who you never met but who would have narrated you kindly has passed on out of the world.

#Greater Boston podcast #greater Boston #I am obsessed with a city of people all feeling like something is off. like something has shifted. like something has been lost #and they don't know why #but it's because Leon is no longer there #It's because there was a ghost in the narrative who cared so deeply about people and now he's gone #And the thing is Leon wasn't some kind of special chosen one #He was just a guy who loved his friends/family and lived by his Google Calendar and died on a rollercoaster and ended up in a crystal ball #And I like that #He was weird but he was ordinary #And yet his life and death and true passing mattered so much #Normally narratives about people having a kind of supernatural awareness of someone dying don't really resonate with me #but this one did. And I think it's partly cos I care about Leon so much #and partly cos people experienced a vague hard-to-identify feeling rather than a dramatic vision #and partly cos people who didn't know him were included in that awareness #Maybe every person deserves that their passing out of the world be marked like that #Greater Boston spoilers #Greater Boston podcast spoilers #The empty man posteth

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 1 year ago

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‘The point is not “is bftc good Jason characterization”’

Actually the point can be anything that the op of the post wants it to be. Oh you mean that is not your point. Um …. Cool. Nobody asked.

#*provides canon proof of Jason absolutely traumatizing teens in canon*#/s #*the whopping two instances are titans tower and the Mia Dearden incident*#both of which happened around the same time as uth. effectively making Jason approximately … eighteen or nineteen.#while Mia was 17 and Tim was like 16. wow how could this seasoned old man be so cruel to these literal babies #this is coming from someone who cares deeply about how different authors’ visions for bruce can turn him into a male power fantasy #but according to this person that's technically all fanon because the authors are fans of Batman who write him how they want #<- a needlessly complicated way of saying it doesn’t matter that almost every writer has written Batman as a cop symbol #because they don’t agree with those authors’ visions it’s just bad characterization #not consistency #anyway back to how any Jason fan who doesn't ascribe to your flawless interpretation of these iffy events is actually missing the point #mhm okay ignored winick showing Jason desperately saving children like three times in lost days #and other authors later wrote him being good with kids too #oh but even if he had the same trait in post crisis and n52 these characterizations are actually irreconcilable because they said so #kelseethe #for someone who seemingly cares so much about numbers and patterns #they tend to skip a lot of important panels in their ‘analyses’#like the panels in batman 650 where Jason mentioned the thousands joker killed and the friends he's crippled #and the lost days panels of him being upset about joker going on to hurt more families and fathers and sons #all this to claim Jason’s ultimatum in utrh was entirely self-centered #I guess it just goes to show how much evidence you have to ignore/disregard to come to the conclusion that Jason is a bad person #but yeah your vision is the be all & end all and anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t ~normal~

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closetdbisexual · 2 years ago

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so fucking crazy that barry is an actual like . war vet . with serious ptsd from having killed someone and obvious severe mental issues that he needed genuine serious help with and the military just kicked him out and sent him off to a hospital and went . well hes not our responsibility . and then the hospital went . well hes not our responsibility either. and they let him go and nobody even bothered to check in on him or to make sure he stayed somewhere to get consistent help or even a therapist or psychiatrist who could understand . so he did something so awful and horrific and he couldnt tell anyone about it and he fell right into the arms of someone who had been waiting and watching for him to be that killing machine since he was 5 years old . and he promised he loved him and he understood and he could help barry use his talent for good . barrys ONLY talent. because hes not good at anything else. he doesnt have hobbies or friends. he has fuches. and he has the ability to kill. and he says he can give barry a purpose and make him feel safe and validated and worth something again and hes the only one who will ever understand or accept or genuinely, truly, love him . so barry accepts it and he loves him too . and he does what he wants because he was trained to follow orders and he was trained to kill and all he wants is to feel like hes doing the right thing and he can make up for what he did, he can redeem himself for killing a civilian, by killing these people who are bad guys. who do bad things. what fuches told him . and he believes that . and hes fuches' responsibility. not the military, not the hospital, not anybody else who might truly understand or want to help him or who might realize that maybe, maybe they could have prevented that . prevented who he is . that maybe its their fault . that they broke a sweet, shy, innocent young man with their tales of glory and adventure and patriotism . that they let an innocent man die in front of his family . the military didnt care about any of that. nobody cared once they decided he was safe enough to be let back into society . once they decided he didnt need their help anymore. only fuches cared. and honestly, it wouldve been better if he didnt.

#rio rambles #he wants to help veterans with ptsd . hes haunted by what he did during the war . he cant kill a marine. thats crazy #barry very clearly had . a very serious issue that was obvious when he dissociated so badly it ended with a man dead on the floor .#when he completely lost control and let his anger and stress take over in the most dangerous way possible .#that may have been a conscious decision to kill . but in such a state where he couldnt understand who or what or where .#you would think that someone . anyone . would have seen this and thought . we need to keep an eye on him . he is deeply unstable #and he doesnt want to kill people . but he has very very serious issues #whatever. hes fine now. im sure a few months is enough to heal from the horrors of war. go hang out with that strange man now . its fine.#he was in the military too. he understands you.#hes the only one who ever will.#barry #<- sorry just want to save my posts like this

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soft-serve-soymilk · 7 months ago

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help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭

#just pav things #when someone’s music taste is a natural extension of my own I will assimilate their favourite artist into my being <3 #and honestly this was doomed to happen too.#like. the first album I ever remember listening and doing a silly dance to was Bon Jovi’s Cross Road in KINDERGARTEN #and then I grew up with shoji meguro’s work on persona 4 golden (2012)#I’m literally the girl who thinks electric guitar is the bestest instrument ever #Soo yeah 😅 Turns out Pav was the true emo the whole time 😂#this is what happens when you grow up with literally subgenre of rock at your disposal :>#Anyways this has spurred some heated debate in my mind #Namely. Would Inigo actually listen to this in character?#ITS A COMPLICATED TOPIC THAT’S REALLY TESTING MY KNOWLEDGE OF HIS CHARACTERISATION #Just like how Dolphin asks those difficult questions about Archie where it requires really late-stage psychological thoroughness #and intimate understanding of said deepest parts of the psyche #Because here’s the deal right? We all know Inigo is wearing a false edgier persona to prevent any closeness with other people #Key word: false.#But that’s not the whole picture either is it? He has a harness up to his neck because he wallows in his guilt about Archie #It’s a torture device for him. He’s wearing uncomfortable clothing on purpose.#It almost feels like he would listen to mcr to induce the comfortable inertia of emptiness that sustains his depressed existence #It keeps him thinking about negative topics. Keeps him lost in his nightmarish slumber that is a life devoid of true connection to others #So it would help MAINTAIN his emo mask through willing engagement. Thus preventing Inigo from breaking due to sheer psychological duress~#And c’mon who would listen to ‘you know what they do to men like us in prison’ and NOT think of Archie and Inigo #Or specifically. How Inigo PERCIEVES Archie #They’re both deeply entrenched in sin :3 And Inigo thinks he doesn’t suffer enough for what he did— ‘or just not enough pain in my heart fo #your dying wish’ (dying this case being. metaphorical. y’know)#And then that line of ‘I’ll kiss your lips again’#Like kissing goodbye to a sweet death~#So like. Inigo is trying to reinforce the idea that he’s a murderer in his mind 😭#And that’s my thesis on WHY Inigo would listen to mcr and his response if appropriate 😤 He’s trying to brainwash himself ✨✨✨

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godsfavoritescientist · 1 year ago

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Finally rewatching some doctor who, and the episode 'midnight' is such a different experience now what the fuck.

Spent the first half of the episode like "wait the doctor IS being reasonable this is an undiscovered lifeform its just trying to learn things its not its fault people think its creepy </3" and also "this is a bit more contrived than I remember. Why are all these tourists down for Murder after 20 minutes of someone repeating what they say." But of course the episode is having so much fun with itself that I'm having fun too <3

Anyway my crack theory is that the midnight creature is post-finale bill, due to the line, while possessing someone, of "I can move, I can feel again, I'm coming back to life" and all the really obvious evil little smiles

#godsrambles #hm maybe i will make a tag for this #drwho tag #cant believe thinking deeply about bills character has affected even this #even though the episode heavily implies the midnight creature is evil. im STILL like.#'augh thats a Creature! its probably been completely alone for who knows how long! it Sprinted towards the first people it saw!'#'maybe it Was just learning and it only became 'evil' because it learned from murderous tourists!'#'and even if it IS evil doesnt it deserve a chance? if the doctor couldve contained it safely..... take it to eldritch rehab............'#of course theres the line 'i can feel again' which implies it is NOT a brand new creature. insane about the 1 sec of lore #for a 1 episode creature we will never see ever again. who were they..........#i dont want dr who to answer that question its just fun to wonder about #how does a creature get trapped on an inhospitable planet for who knows how long..... do 'xtonic rays' destroy bodies but not souls???#someone exposed to the stars light and lost almost everything. just a shell of their former self. no body no thoughts just a shadow #idk!!!!! comparing this random 1 episode Creature-Meant-To-Be-Spooky to bill. i guess. it just hits different now #as a kid i thought 'wow the doctor shouldnt give it the benefit of the doubt its obviously evil'#but now i get it!!! the doctor has seen so much evil and Done so much evil. cant dismiss a creature just for being suspicious #reaching out to try and save someone else who he can only imagine has been so so terribly alone for way too long. augh #and this is season 4 so like. after everything in the s3 finale. one million yard stares into the distance.#ok one more thing. bill finds this creature and invites it to be a henchmaniac. that is all

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daydreamdoodles · 8 months ago

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I still need to finish the books, but I don't think I'm loving the framing of magic in the worldbuilding

It's lowkey obvious that magic ban is in part to avoid going over budget in the movies with cgi effects. But especially in the books, it feels a little "oh magic bad and corrupts." There's good and bad, yet all magic seems to cause issues. The good acts of magic get written off, like they're an exception to the rule.

There's like. attempted nuance to it, but I don't think the execution really works with how everything else reinforces that previous idea of magic is bad.

#day musings #this is def a pet peeve writing choice for me #which i am not placing the blame on Cruz #But as someone who was raised in a pagan household #magic has always been about intent #And even if you dont ascribe to that belief #To take a world that is the Disney Descendants land #with Neverland and Canterlot #That is so deeply ingrained with magic #and to write off all magic as corrupting #feels a little gross?#idk #Maybe the other books will expand on it #descendants #disney descendants #rise of the isle of the lost #Dayscendants

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zehecatl · 2 years ago

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do you ever think about how Izzy genuinely thinks he's doing what's best for Edward

do you ever think about how far gone Izzy is in denial and repression and self-loathing, to think he's helping Edward, instead of hurting him again and again and again

like Izzy isn't doing any of what he does for himself, not really. when Edward makes him eat his own toe, he does it. he's fucking delighted

Izzy swore himself to Blackbeard, to Ed, and everything he does falls in line with that. he's fucking dedicated to this man, even after spending years with what he sees as someone slowly withering away. like, Izzy loves Blackbeard

he just doesn't know how to love Edward, and it's fucking killing them both

#our flag means death #blackhands #like you fucking look at any of the shit izzy does and say he's doing it for himself #if he was serving himself he'd have left this shit #but he LOVES blackbeard. that's the misery of it #and the thing is i think he does- in some way- love ed too #i just don't think he knows how to handle ed #i don't think he knows how to love someone who goes so blatantly against everything izzy believes to be necesaary #like izzy and ed has been stuck in this shitty shitty cycle for probably years #where izzy hurts ed by trying to protect him and ed bends to it or gives in or feeds it and it's just. oUuugh #they're so fucked i need s2 to fix them #i need izzy to get therapy #maybe put him and stede in a closest and they'll work it out (fight to the death and bond over ed)#like i don't understand how ANYONE can look at the shit izzy does and think he's not deeply in love with ed #they're just. not fucking on the same wave length #izzy is so deeply lost in the brutality he can't see anything but blood

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brittlebutch · 1 year ago

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still can't help but empathize deeply with Hob's anger and affront over the duel during the 'Southern Lawn' episode, mostly because I also cannot understand the social steps taken to land him in that position during any part of those confrontations

#N posts stuff #i trust that they Do make sense but i do not understand the social cues here At All #like i'm still Confused how we got from Wuvvy going to Dictate the letter to Hob like Aabria implied she was #to her Confronting Hob over an injury that Rue dealt to Her #like does the letter Hob was writing to Wrackingspelt imply a depth of feeling for someone Other than Rue in a way that implies #that they had been like. Rejected or something? and so she acts in defense of them for That?#i don't know and i don't understand no matter how many times i watch these episodes lol #to say Nothing of the way Andhera interferes during the fight and then - when Hob bests them - manages to imply that HOB is the one #with some kind of emotionality or Flaw that caused the whole thing to begin with???#''Captain what have you lost that has put you in this position to begin with?'' <- WHAT do they mean by that??#NOT TO MENTION the fact that Hob is Literally Right to take their interference as an offense given the understanding of duels #and the fact that Every Other Individual on that field responds to his affront with Derision and outright Mockery is so.....#dude it Strikes a wounded nerve so deeply in me and i don't even think i had That Many issue with bullying growing up comparatively #that for Hob - who is Well Established as a mocked outsider in his own court - i cannot even imagine how intolerably wounded it must feel #i know i've already written a fic about this but i'm Not over it sorry. this episode makes me want to Bite #i need someone to walk me through what happens lmfao #d20lb

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hum--hallelujah · 1 year ago

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and if I wrote a platonic hanahaki AU about the venom siblings? then what?

#yet another ''would you still love me if it turns out I'm insane'' one for the books lol #she speaks!#it's about the tension #it's about the questioning if you're loved despite loving so so hard #it's about the love with nowhere to go becomes grief #in this world hanahaki is mostly caused by grief. you have to watch someone who's lost a loved one closely or they might #start smelling of flowers that don't grow in a desert (only in a desert of love)#so the trouble arises because party is not processing trauma and is instead pushing his brother away #and kobra... well. all that longing he has to be loved by his brother the way they used to be? it can turn sharp in a second #this is also a bit of a ''ghoul is deeply codependent with kobra'' fic skdkkanfmsg #danger days

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nt3000s · 1 year ago

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im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it

#i just want ti go to sleep but i cant my sleep schedule has been so miserably depressing me #not that badly. i cherish every moment i have with the people around me and i cherish how lucky i am to be surrounded by such unbe #lievable people. i am happy everyday because people love me.#this will never be lost on me. the importance of it. the importance you all have will never ever be lost on me. your worth as a human being #you are so kind. you are so talented. you are loved by people because you are seen by people that way. i will never lose this #im miserably desperate for everyone i know to feel loved or to know that i love them. nothing will ever ever ever in my whole fucking life #ever be more important to me #nothing in my fucking life will ever be more important than that. please know how much you mean to this. to everything #i dont know what changed but i cry so often now and every single time my thoughts wander to how deeply i feel about this #im just sobbing and sobbing and im like. i love the people that care for me. i love the people i care for #i know when i stop crying or when the day rolls over i get to talk to everyone again. and i feel so lucky. i feel so desperate to explain it #how. much. it. means. to me. How badly i mean this and everything I say.#i dont fucking care if yoire my mutual from fandom or someone who random followed because my blog was funny #someone i talked to once or twice. you mean so much. i swear to god. ill never be mpre genuine or more serious. i guess #thats very kind of you to do that. or like my posts or anything. youre very kind for that. you mean alot to me.#i just dont want to fall asleep when the sun rises and wake up with a few hours to talk to people before im alone #i really hate it right now. and my neutral state has genuinely just been on the brink of crying. like if i sit still too long i just sob #thats genuinely how i have been for the past few days #and thats not the fault of anyone its just how my brain has been treating me #but whdn i get like this i just remember how lucky i feel about everything. like the depth of my feelings #you really just have to trust me when i say like how forever sincere and deep snd monumental it is to me. like please understand the depth #of when i say i love you. dear god i love everyone ive ever met i love you. please please please please understand how desperate i am #i will never ever feel more strongly about anything. i cant imagine it #i have to make this exact same fucking post over and over again #i need to keep saying it man #i need people to love themselves like i love them #the degree to which i say the word need #anyway. i love you. i hope you have fun or are happy about something. or draw write something nice. talk to your best friend. something

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mars-ipan · 2 years ago

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thinking abt natphi

#me n a friend at the time decided both of our dnd characters would be stuck in that difficult place between ‘besties’ and ‘deeply in love’#and i think about it ALL THE TIME #but that friend and i don’t talk anymore (no falling out we just grew apart) and. idk #it’d feel weird to talk about their oc considering we don’t talk #but i think about that relationship natphi has soooo often #bc nat spent a lot of her life alone. most of it #and then she met luca (the friend’s oc). and the two got on like a house on fire #and i don’t think natphi realizes it. but she’s in love #and. i dunno they’ve both been through some shit but they find comfort in each other #and luca sometimes helps natphi perform #and they keep almost kissing backstage but they Never Talk About It #plus luca has a backstory element of looking for a girl she lost- a girl she loved #and that adds a whole other foil #natphi refuses to even entertain the idea that something could be happening. luca’s eyes are elsewhere #don’t fuck this up just because of your ego #and while luca isn’t my character and i can’t speak for her. i think she feels for natphi as well #but she has to deal with that conflict of past vs present. does she sacrifice a blossoming romance to chase after someone who may be dead #or does she try to move on despite how much of a betrayal it feels like #idk there’s just so many LAYERS to it. they’re in love but they don’t acknowledge it. they’re tragic and yet they’re beautiful #and i think they exist in that stasis for a long time #idk if they ever get together. i like to think they do but maybe not #maybe they’re stuck in limbo forever. star-crossed #they have each other’s friendship yes. but there’s something else there and they struggle to realize it #idk i’m thinking abt the song butch 4 butch and it is literally just them #but once again. luca isn’t my character so i’d feel bad using her likeness #but i also don’t wanna replace her. luca is important to natphi’s story #idk maybe i should contact that friend. if i get their insta i could credit them in any posts including luca #we were good friends too. bet it’d be fun to catch up #natphi

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mssbdr · 1 month ago

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🚨 We Need Your Kindness to Survive 🚨

Hello, My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with my family. Life here has become harder than I ever imagined, and I’m writing this with hope in my heart that you might hear our story.

The ongoing war has devastated my family. We’ve lost 25 family members—each one a beloved part of our lives, taken too soon. I miss them deeply—their laughter, their presence, their love. Every day is a reminder of this unimaginable loss.

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We are now facing daily challenges to survive—things that most people take for granted, like food, clean water, and a safe place to sleep. The harsh realities of life here have replaced our dreams with the constant fight for survival.

Our Current Situation:

💔 Lost Stability: The war has left us without work or a stable source of income. 🍞 Basic Needs: Food and water are becoming harder to afford with rising prices and scarce resources. 📚 Dreams on Hold: Like so many here, my family’s dreams have been replaced by the need to simply survive. 😢 Unimaginable Loss: Losing 25 loved ones has left a void that can never be filled.

How You Can Help:

I’m sharing our story with the hope that someone out there might care. Even $5 can make a big difference for us, and if you’re unable to donate, just reblogging this post can help spread the word.

Your kindness, no matter how small, is something we’ll never forget.

What This Means to Us:

Your support is not about changing our entire situation—it’s about giving us a little relief, a little hope, and a way to keep going. We are not asking for much, and we understand if you can’t donate. Sharing our story is just as valuable to us as a donation.

Thank you for reading this far. It means the world to us to know that someone is listening. Your kindness gives us strength and helps us believe in a better tomorrow.

With all our gratitude, Mosab Elderawi and Family ❤️

✅️ Vetted by ✅️

@gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #309 )✅️

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#gaza #free palestine #free gaza #gazaunderattack #gaza genocide #gaza strip #palestine

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cartoonghosts · 2 days ago

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instead of convincing myself everyone is mad at me and my existence hurts all the people I love (untrue, easily dispelled by reassurance, etc) i have made everyone mad at me and hurt all the people I love! I need to not be like this I think

#Been trying to get better and of course that means i must get significantly worse first #Im so used to lashing out and people either not caring bc theyre milo and hes in love with me or fighting back #And then thats great im in an argument i know what to do in an argument im good at fighting with people #Unfortunately the third much worse option of actually hurting them has now been realized and yes this is 100% my fault #But also I do feel absolutely terrible. Not much I can do now but yay. Ruined a friendship with someone who I deeply care about and love.#Everything sucks right now. Also side effect of lashing out Actually Working is that im still in survival mode!! So no eating food for me #Im gonna talk to my therapist today and she isnt very good for me but I cant keep destroying everything cause im upset #Anyways I lost a close friend and thats a therapy thing I think I sure am crying a lot about it

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