#to be honest i should break down song lyrics & what they mean to me WAY more because music is one of my favorite interests

[strellunas]

Damage Gets Done, to me, is such a visceral experience to southern living as a minority. 18 years of isolation in a nowhere town (it's the comforts that make us feel numb) where the closest city is an hour away. Where I travel 80 minutes roundtrip just to get an education, driving hours to chase any experience (we'd go out with no way to get home). 18 years of being shown that the way I am human is so inherently different than the way everyone else is human (being blamed for a world we had no power in). Being left to wilt so young when I continue to strive for something better for myself, chasing wonders, sharing dreams of selfishly abandoning what I've always known with the less than a hand's count of people I could trust (I swear goodwill kept up the engine). I don't know, it always makes me cry when I'm listening to it on long drives back from something greater, a world just out of reach that I've longed for as long as I've been alive (All I needed was someone when the whole wide world felt young). There's this feeling of desire, & love, & greed, & guilt.

[pretty-blkgirl]

Miserable

//fem!reader x idol!Han//

Synopsis: You see a picture of a gorgeous woman and a man that looks like Han, so you try and confront him.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: reader is described as a woman, yelling, Han has a tantrum (?)

A/N: I literally just listened to Han’s new song and RUSHED to write this. When you read you may catch a couple of the lyrics in there 👀

Listen to:

~~~~|~~~~

“Get away from me Han,” You say, snatching your hand from his grip and jogging to your bedroom. He runs after you, grabbing at your shirt to slow you down.

“Baby please” He sobs, “I swear it’s not what you think. I swear it wasn’t me”

He’s in hysterics. Crying so loud that you can’t even hear yourself think. Someone had sent you a picture of what looked to be Han and another woman getting cozy in a club.

When you confronted him he only laughed at you. In his mind, you were ridiculous for even thinking he would cheat on you. He was obsessed with you, and you knew that.

You just wanted to have an honest conversation about everything. The guy in the photo looked similar to Han but you knew deep down that wasn’t him, still, you wanted to confront your lover just to be sure.

This was one of those moments where you needed reassurance. He had millions of people who were falling at his feet every day. He could have anyone he wanted. So, when you saw the picture and you saw how gorgeous that woman was- it kinda spooked you.

Even if you believed it wasn’t him, you just wanted to hear him confirm that he’d never do that.

Unfortunately, he didn’t react how you thought he would. You knew he would have been a little taken aback by the sudden accusation but you didn’t know he’d start laughing in your face while calling you “crazy” and “delusional”

“Be serious” He chuckled, snatching your phone to look down at the picture, “That doesn’t even look like me. Plus, I hate clubs AND whenever I’m not with the guys, I’m with you.”

You nodded silently and reached for your phone, to where he only held it in the air where you couldn’t reach it

“I can’t believe you even brought this bullshit to my attention. Do not trust me?”

“It’s not that” You quickly say, “I just needed to hear you deny it. That’s all”

He laughed more. Finally, giving your phone back before looking you up and down

“You must be cheating, with all this projection going on.”

You were shocked, “Excuse me?”

“I mean, why else would you show me this bullshit? Tell me, who’s in your head right now? Someone other than me?”

That comment hurt you. You understood if he was upset at you, but did he have to react this way?

You weren’t even accusatory when you brought it up. You started off by telling him you loved him but wanted him to be honest. Why was he being so hostile?

You were feeling a bit insecure, and you just wanted the truth.

The nonsense continued as you started to zone out. He shouldn’t be talking to you like this, even if he was upset with you.

Again, it’s not like you thought that was him, but your insecurities got the best of you. You couldn’t help but ask him, you needed to know he only had eyes for you.

But seeing how he reacted -how childish he was being, and how he was speaking so terribly to you- you started to doubt the relationship.

“Let’s take a break” You mumble. Walking away as Han was in the middle of a rant. As if a flipped switched, his rude and disrespectful attitude turned into an apologetic and regetful one.

“What? A break? A break for what? Baby that’s not me, I already told you that”

You ignored his pleas to talk this out. You tried to talk, but he wasn’t having it. Why should you hear him out?

He grabbed and held onto you while you tried to get to the bedroom. You could already feel the tears starting to wet your shoulder as he hugged you tightly from behind.

“Move Han,” You say, trying to wiggle out of his grasp

That went on for a while, him crying and begging you to stop while you made your way to the room. When you finally got in there, he was nearly screaming as you began to pack a bag.

“BABY NO” He yells, causing you to jump in surprise, “DON'T LEAVE ME. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.”

You continue to pack as he goes to your side and drops to his knees. His face is wet with tears and his lip is quivering slightly as sobs continue to pour from his mouth.

“I WAS NEVER OUT WITH THAT WOMAN. I ONLY WANT YOU. YOU’RE THE ONLY GIRL I’D EVER WANT. I SWEAR IT WASN’T ME”

You still ignored him and managed to get three days worth of clothes in your small suitcase. You planned to stay at your parent’s house.

You set your suitcase on the bed and walked to the bathroom to grab soap and your toothbrush. While you were out, Han started to put all your clothes back in the drawer. You only rolled your eyes when you saw what he was doing.

“Stop Han. Just let me go”

“Baby that wasn’t me!”

“Okay, and?” You say, causing him to give a confused look through his tears, “I get that you’re upset that I brought this up, but the way you talked to me was not warranted”

“Baby please, I’m sorry. I was just mad and wanted to hurt you because you hurt me!”

You groan, “Even if you’re mad, you communicate. How dare you call me crazy and all that other shit? Laughing in my face? Then accused me of being a cheater?”

“Y-You accused me!?”

“I asked if that was you, all I needed was a no. I just needed the reassurance, but you decided to be a fucking asshole”

You went back to your drawers and pulled out your clothes again. His screams started back up when you were fully packed.

“Y/N I'M SORRY. I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN. I’LL NEVER MAKE FUN OF YOUR FEELINGS AGAIN!”

“Mhm” You shrug, rushing to the front door, “We’ll talk about our relationship when I get back”

“Baby don’t go away”

He grabs your suitcase, preventing you from leaving. You let out an exhausted sigh and turned to look at him. His eyes were already bloodshot. His shirt had streaks of tears staining it, and his hair was all disheveled from running his fingers through it.

“I’ll be miserable without you. I can’t function without you. We can work through this. Just don’t leave me. I can’t even handle you being gone for a few minutes, never mind a couple of days”

You sigh, thinking over the conversation in your head. You were taught to never allow disrespect, and you two were usually good about being aware of one another’s feelings.

You upset him, which you understood.

He shouldn’t have said what he said though.

You were conflicted for a few seconds but decided to leave so you could clear your mind.

“We’ll talk later.” That was all you said as you let go of the suitcase and walked out the door.

It took everything in him not to run after you, but he was content knowing you’d be back.

He sunk to the floor, weeping silently and counting down the seconds until you returned to him.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey Slug! Now that all snippets are out, what are your thoughts so far on the BB songs for the 3rd DRB? I'm especially excited for Ichiro's. It reminds me of Hiphoppia but with less intense dream vision feel and more funky back alley hip hop stuff. Jiro's sounds good too tho!

I love anon asks like this that remind me to go look at the new stuff that comes out... I would never think to do it otherwise. Thank you; it's very sweet of you.

Let's fire up the old YouTube and give them a listen.

Ichirou -- H歴維新 / The H Age Revolution

(Side note about the title: I'm using "revolution" here in a general sense, but this specific wording is evocative of the Meiji Restoration, the political revolution in the late 1800s that ended the regime of the Tokugawa shoguns and "restored" the old social order under the emperor while radically transforming Japanese society as a whole. Here, we should understand that Ichirou is tearing down Chuuouku's reign to usher in a new state of society.)

(Fifteen seconds in) YOOO this goes hard. I like this beat and the vaguely military-esque theme w/ the horns.

(At end of preview) DAMN okay. Give me a sec to get my thoughts in order.

Every time I see the language in these songs, I'm reminded of a video of an NHK presenter guy reading the lyrics of one song and announcing dryly, "They're all very good at kanji."

I love how this is much punchier than Break the Wall. Ichirou seems to be much more of an active agent in it, not just the figurehead leader of a revolution--and I LOVE that. It's great to see Ichirou embracing his individuality and not simply playing into the image of MC BB that others want him to be.

I also love all the callbacks to previous songs, quite literally going back to basics. ペンは剣より偽りがない ("The pen is mightier than the sword, and that's a fact!") goes all the way back to Hypmic's very first song's ペンは剣よりヒプノシスマイク ("The Hypnosis Mic is mightier than the sword")

Can't wait to get the full version and learn the lyrics. Seems like a hella fun song to rap.

Jirou -- Sunshine

(Five seconds in) Getting "This Means War" vibes.

(Fifteen seconds in) Bro what is this autotune... This sounds like the opening of Rhyme Anima season 2.

(Forty-five seconds in) "I'm ready; the wind's pushing me along; I'm flying with the wings Ikebukuro's given me" Hell YES Jirou you get that identity independent of Ichirou

(Fifty seconds in) "I can't shake the past. I take my scars with me off into a future--a future that's still unknown." Yo this is bars. (I'm butchering its lyricism but whatever) I love that Jirou is actually acknowledging his past and his struggles instead of pushing it away. You notice how his comments on the past are always either "Ichirou was so cool" or "Saburou used to be such a cute kid; what happened?" ? It's good to see him finally being honest enough to touch on his hurt feelings.

(End) Hmm... I don't know how I feel about this one at first liston. I really like Jirou's voice actor's singing voice, so I'm kinda not feeling the autotune. On the other hand, his singing voice definitely has more of a sweet/young flavor, and I can see the authors wanting to lean away from that to make him sound more adult. I think my issue is this song sounds... idk, a bit too idol pop rock to my tastes. I don't mean that idol pop rock is a bad thing; it's simply not my personal preference.

Here's a selection of people in the comments having a normal one:

"Wtf he's hot now"

"I'm picturing Jirou going to school the day after this song drops and his friends being like 'EYYY' and he's like 'Aw, you listened to it? Thanks, guys!' Then a bunch of girls swarm him and he deadass has no idea what they're on about it"

"Say it isn't so... Not my sweet baby boy dumbass Jirou... They made him hot af..."

"I feel like a mom watching my widdle Jiro-chan grow up"

Saburou -- 朱夏 / Maturity

(Side note about the title: Japanese borrows some terms for stages of life from ye olde Chinese (<- very technical term) wherein stages of life correspond to colors and seasons. You may know the word "seishun" (blue spring) or have seen blue = youth as a recurring piece of imagery in Japanese media. (BSD's Blue Period, anyone?) "Shuka" (red summer) is the stage that encompasses most of adulthood; it's the summer or prime of a person's life. The word conveys a sense of energy and a greater understanding of the world than in the youthful seishun period. Sounds like the Hypmic authors want to convey that our baby boy is growing up! *sobs into a hankie*)

(Five seconds in) Chill lofi hip-hop beats for studying

(End) Hmm... Musically, I liked the piano as a consistent piece of imagery for Saburou. It was a little too chill for me, but I always say this and always warm up to Hypmic songs over time lol.

Lyrically, I kept thinking throughout the video "This would be easy to translate" because Saburou monologues for most of it haha. Apart from the imagery related to seasons and the BB's heat/energy "firing" him up to reach the hot summer of adulthood, most of the song is surprisingly literal and straightforward. Saburou states in plain terms that he wants to go be his own person (seems to be the running theme of this album), but it's a departure from his usual style of complex imagery and vocabulary. I would guess that's on purpose, as the song opens with "All through my childhood, I could never wait to grow up. I'm a better rapper than Ichirou, but no one ever sees me as anything but an accessory to him. At least I'm better than Jirou in every way-- oh, who am I kidding? Look at me going on like an edgy middle schooler. I'm always smart, collected, calm--but on the inside, I'm NOT okay!" That is, Saburou is purposefully throwing away his attempts to look smart and mature for his age. He's allowing himself to be rough and emotional like any fourteen year old.

Really fun start to an album; can't wait to hear all the songs! Thanks again for sending this ask, anon.

[pardonmydelays]

TTPD - my final thoughts

so... this album, according to taylor, came from a need to write. now i actually have the need to write this essay. it's an honest opinion, i gave it one last listen & i analysed all the lyrics. this is how i've spent my entire sunday. if you're a sensitive hardcore swiftie, don't even bother to read it. i've already lost a lot of followers because i was being honest lol. this is mostly for my friends, because they actually care about what i think. so i went through hell every song once again & those are my final thoughts (warning: i'm not being very nice & this is super chaotic & messy, but so is the album):

FORTNIGHT

super boring production & i usually love jack... i also can't believe it's the first single from this album? i like the music video tho. the b&w aesthetics are everything. she is kinda trying to sound like lana here, at least this was my first reaction when i heard this song. "i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic" - what the fuck does that even mean, i hate this line. "all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february" - i feel like she is trying to be poetic but this is such a weird line? kinda reminds me of how the first verse of "red" (the song) was a masterpiece, but she kinda got lost in the second verse, it's like trying to write as many metaphors as you can but they are just... not good. sometimes less is more. "i love you, it's ruining my life" - i love the way she sings this line & this line in general. i kinda like post malone in the outro (even tho i don't listen to his music). i don't give a shit about the lyrics to be honest, it's just not doing anything to me, i'm so indifferent (except those few lines i mentioned). overall it's a boring song & a skip for me. i tried to like it but i just... don't.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

i don't hate this song, but i don't love it either. it has good moments. but it also has terrible ones. also, it's too damn long. i don't know. "you left your typewriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department, i think some things i never say, like who uses typewriters anyway?" - i absolutely fucking love those lines, simple words, nothing "big" but i feel like this is what i love the most about taylor's songwriting - when she's not tying to be poetic & she is just writing simple things like that & i kinda love the way it rhymes, can't explain but this beginning is so good!!! "who's gonna hold you" - i love the way she sings this line. "we're modern idiots" - i also love this. "nofuckingbody" - sounds like something i would say so i'll take it. "you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist, i scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever." - & here we fucking go... i hate the way it doesn't rhyme? i usually don't mind it when things don't rhyme but somehow it really bothers me here? also this is such a terrible line & it ruins the whole song for me... i like the melody in the bridge tho & i kinda like how she mentioned jack there? i don't know why.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

i like the chorus? "once i fix me he's gonna miss me" - i know everyone loves that line but i don't??? i don't know, i just don't.

DOWN BAD

i kinda like the production. the melody is so great. "for a moment i knew cosmic love" - i just ADORE the way she sings it. "fuck it if i can't have him, i might just die, it would make no difference" - love it, so relatable. i don't have much to say about it but i like this song in general, it's not amazing, not a masterpiece, but i do like it & i will probably listen to it sometimes. maybe even add it to some of my playlists.

SO LONG, LONDON

beautiful intro, everybody say "thank you, aaron". i didn't love it on my first listen, it grew on me tho, i even love the production on this one now. it has simple lyrics, but it's beautiful. "so long, london, you'll find someone" - so simple & i love it. i love her voice in this song SO MUCH. "& i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" - i hate how much i relate. "i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place... for so long..." - i had a mental breakdown today because of this one line. i can relate. also i think this is the best line in the entire song, at least to me.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

nothing will ever save this song, even my boy aaron dessner. no, actually, the production is not bad, i have so many issues with the lyrics tho... "but daddy i love him! i'm having his baby! no i'm not but you should see your faces!" - i wanna die i wanna pretend i didn't hear it (also it's not only the fact that this line is fucking terrible, but the way she sings "his" - i don't even hear this word? the lyrics says it's there but i can't hear it? & it bothers me so much???). "stay away from her, the saboteurs protested too much" - is this line about us, the fans? the way i fucking laughed, this is embarrassing. (why is this song so long i hate it so much) ok, i hate how much i love the sound of the bridge because the melody is really really good there but the lyrics... "i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' & moanin', i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing, god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me, sanctimoniously performing soliloquies i'll never see, thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me and counteract the chemistry and undo the destiny you ain't gotta pray for me, me & my wild boy & all of this wild joy, if all you want is gray for me, then it's just white noise, & it's just my choice" - i'm sorry but the way i laughed I WANNA KILL MYSELF THIS IS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE I HATE IT SO MUCH SHE LITERALLY DIDN'T SAY THAT... wild boy, THIS IS SO STUPID OH GOD- i need therapy after listening to this song & i'm afraid she also needs therapy because this is just unhinged. i don't wanna talk about this song ever again, in a perfect world it doesn't exist. let's move on.

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

kinda nice melody, don't care about the lyrics at all because it's boring. also, why is she talking about marriage again, she is literally so desperate to get married it's almost scary. it feels like she doesn't even care who she's gonna marry, she just wants to get married, period. oh god.

FLORIDA!!!

i love the vibes, the production is FIRE! love love love florence in the second verse! "and my friends all smell like weed or little babies" - i know what she was trying to say, but i still hate this line lol it's so cringey. "well, me & my ghosts, we had a hell of a time" - love love love this line. ok, but to be fair, i don't know what this song is about, but i am vibing. i love it, it's good.

GUILTY AS SIN?

it grew on me, i love the melody, i love the production. i hate to admit it, because we all know what this song is about, but i actually genuinely love the lyrics. "oh, what a way to die" - love this line & the way she sings it. "i keep recalling things we never did, messy top lip kiss, how i long for our trysts, without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin?" - i hate myself, i love it so much, god help me. "i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" - as a lowercase girlie i had no choice but to love this line. ok, idc, i love this song, crucify me if you want.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

i love the production, i think it's one of the best songs on this album. the way she screams "who's afraid of little old me?" - LOVE THAT. "well you should be" - love that, it's powerful. i love the entire bridge, it's so good, i just don't like the line "you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me", because wtf, is this about her childhood home? come on taylor, please, be serious. i think the way she sings "that i'm fearsome & i'm wretched & i'm wrong" is my favourite part of this song. i genuinely love it.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

i don't give a single fuck about this song, i just wanted to say the line "i can handle me a dangerous man" is so fucking stupid, now let's move on because i'm bored.

loml

she sounds really good in this one, i love the entire chorus, the way she sings "it's legendary", the way she sings "you told me i'm the love of your life" with sadness in her voice, i love it. somehow "if you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary" makes me think of "sometimes there's no proof, you just know" & i just made myself cry, idk. i hate "mr steal your girl" it sounds so bad in this song. bridge! so fucking sad!!! "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried" - i absolutely love this moment, probably my favourite part of the song. "you're the loss of my life" at the end... bro. it should be track 5.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

the post chorus, omg i hate the production, it makes me want to kill myself, it sounds so bad, omg. i genuinely wanna die. "lights camera bitch smile" - i hate it. "he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short, breaking down i hit the floor, all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more!" - i love this. i really do. the best part of the song for me. "i cry a lot but i am so productive, it's an art" - honey, no. this album is the best proof that it, in fact, isn't art. "cause i'm miserable & nobody even knows!" - but... we knew? (i can't stand this production for real) the ending, oh dear god i hate it so much, it sounds bad, it's terrible, taylor go to therapy because you're clearly not ok & it shows.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

i don't have any thoughts on this song. it's boring & unnecessary, let's just move on (sorry aaron).

THE ALCHEMY

this is the worst song on the album (me about every song). "this happens once every few lifetimes" - taylor, honey, this happens to you with every single man. stop. get some help. all the football references make me want to kill myself, let's just skip it. it's boring anyway. i can't fucking listen to it. oh no, wait... "he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an E" - ???? even MY jokes are funnier. ok, i'm fucking done.

CLARA BOW

not a bad song but the "you look like taylor swift in this light" is so cringey to me. i hate it. it ruins the whole song for me. the production is really good tho, but i don't know. i'm so indifferent. i'm kinda disappointed with this one tbh.

THE BLACK DOG

it's a beautiful song. "old habits die SCREAMING!!!" - the delivery of this line, yes ma'am. "and i may never open the way i did for you" - i love it so much. also the lyrics in the entire song - so simple & beautiful, i love the storytelling here. the melody in the chorus is amazing. "and i hope it's shitty in the black dog" - yeah, me too. i love this song. it's so good & sad. one of the best from this album.

imgonnagetyouback

olivia rodrigo? hello? boring boring boring, i hate it

THE ALBATROSS

i love the production so much!!! i don't have much to say about the lyrics? i don't love it??? but it's fine i guess. but the production is really interesting, & sometimes that's enough to love the song. maybe it will grow on me. i like it now tho.

CHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS

"if you wanna break my cold, cold heart" - i fucking love the delivery of this line, she sounds really good here & really sad. actually, the chorus is beautiful. "so if i sell my apartment, & you have some kids with an internet starlet, will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?" - hello? maroon reference? ok i love this, i also love the way things rhyme in this part of the song. the lyrics is so simple & beautiful, once again, less is more. it's a great song.

HOW DID IT END?

the "oh-oh" in the intro, LOVE IT. i really love her voice here. "my beloved ghost & me, sitting in a tree, D-Y-I-N-G" - heartbreaking. & thanks for mentioning me in a song. "but i still don't know, how did it end?" - it kinda makes me think about all my relationships (not only with guys but also with my friends) & how sometimes you really don't know how it happened that they are no longer a part of your life. it makes me feel sad. i love the song.

SO HIGH SCHOOL

"touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" - oh my god. this is so bad. it's so bad. i don't like it.

I HATE IT HERE

INSTANT FAVE, SO RELATABLE, THIS IS MY SONG!!! "i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" - me as fuck. that i can say for sure. "no mid-sized city hopes & small town fears, i'm there most of the year cause i hate it here" - the way i literally realized that this is where i spent my last year, it's almost scary but this song definitely goes to my "when the truth pops out" playlist. i'm gonna pretend the racist line in the second verse doesn't exist. "lunar valleys in my mind" - i fucking love this line. "i'm lonely but i'm good, i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine, i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life" - OH MY GOD. I WROTE THIS SONG. I SWEAR. i relate to this so much. i hate it here. i love this song.

thanK you aIMee

so at first i liked it but then i realized it's about kim kardashian & i actually hate it now, taylor, please, can we finally move on? it's been YEARS, imagine how tired we are.

I LOOK IN PEOPLE'S WINDOWS

the production is good, i love the repetitions of "out", "now" etc. not much to say about it, but it's kinda nice? it's so short tho.

THE PROPHECY

i absolutely love the production on this one, it reminds me of "augusta" by gracie abrams & i love this song so much (also produced by aaron). i love the chorus & all the rhymes here. i don't... love the song in general, but i like it & i think it might grow on me.

CASSANDRA

ok, you know what, it's a nice song, but i am so damn tired of hearing about the same thing over & over again... 2016 was eight fucking years ago, taylor wake the fuck up & move on??? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE JESUS I AM BORED.

PETER

i am genuinely crying right now, because i only have one person in my mind when i'm listening to this song & the words "you were gonna come find me"... oh god (i've had one person in my life who said they were gonna find me one day when i told them i'm gonna leave this shitty town & move to the city of my dreams. they didn't find me tho. the biggest what if of my life. i wanna die right now). it's a good song. i actually love it, probably because it's so relatable for me.

THE BOLTER

i actually like this one. the production is great (good job aaron!), i like the lyrics, i relate to some of this, not gonna get into details tho. none of it is outstanding, but it's a good song. i'm just tired, this album is too damn long.

ROBIN

"way to go tiger" - i love the melody & the way she sings this line. it's such a sweet song & i just learned that robin is aaron's kid's name, i love it. it's nice. nothing amazing, not a masterpiece but i like it.

THE MANUSCRIPT

"if the sex was half as good as the conversation was" - i kinda love this line (no, we are not geting into the details of who this one is about. i just said i love this line). also what a way to end the album: "now & then i re-read the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore". i love it, because now these stories are ours. it's like i told bel on friday, i'm gonna make this whole damn album about me & my life.

if you made it to the end, congratulations. to conclude: taylor should have worked more with aaron, less with jack. i usually love jack, but this time i feel like i've heard it all before. i still think this is her worst album. it's too damn long (31 songs!!!). it has some of her worst lyrics ever. most of those songs were totally unnecessary. maybe the entire album was. i genuinely think she should just take a break. i am really disappointed with this album & i am mad as hell because i wanted to love it. well... i made my own version. i think i'm not gonna talk about this album anymore. i also think i need a break from listening to it because i am genuinely tired. bye.

[wallisninety-six]

Endless Ocean - Remembering Dennis Wilson and "Pacific Ocean Blue" (1977)

"When my record was finished, Brian was the first to hear it. In the middle of some tracks he'd say, "I can't stand this" and walk out of the room. Sometimes he'd laugh. Sometimes he'd cry. I guess he was thinking that he'd seen me grow up as a musician." - Dennis Wilson, 1977

This coming December will see the 40th anniversary of the death of Dennis Wilson in 1983- the first loss in the Beach Boys and the culmination of an intense, fast-paced life filled with extreme parental abuse, commercial highs and lows with the band, and heavy trauma from events of the late 60s- oftentimes using copious amounts of drugs & alcohol to cope in the last years of his increasingly troubled life. But even in darkest times, Dennis also refused to slow down for his music, and his passion for it either- and that fact should not be forgotten while discussing his life.

Famously the only surfer in the band, as well as its drummer- Dennis was the bad boy of the group- charismatic & popular with fans, and living a true rocker style; hardly anyone thought of him as a talented songwriter, though. But he- not brother Brian, would be the first member to officially release a solo album, itself a culmination of his songwriting history that started in Beach Boys albums like Friends and the wonderful Sunflower. This work is 1977's Pacific Ocean Blue- which he largely wrote and produced with longtime songwriting partner Gregg Jakobson, and is the only album he released in his lifetime.

At this time, Dennis' rough lifestyle had begun to affect him- his voice had become much more raspy and rough, almost leading us to believe he was tough as nails from life & experience and moving away from the tender songwriting from the past. But with Pacific Ocean Blue, we witness Dennis at his most open, most brutally honest and at his most sensitive and heartfelt too- pouring out his soul and never modifying his expression to make his big debut more pop or radio-friendly like most labels wanted him & The Beach Boys to be- what's here is him at most genuine, uncompromised in every way.

Dennis' rough voice complimented the songs and subjects of the album well and makes his earnest feelings that much more believable, and with the very welcome inclusion of the Double Rock Baptist Choir- the backing vocals moved away from the expected Beach Boys vocal style (though members like brother Carl and Mike Love would appear here too)- but bacame more soulful and yearning to match the moods of the songs. For their part- the song's lyrics are simple yet visibly honest, not bogged down with complex lyricism, but plainspoken to be much more direct with the listener, helping to elevate the music instead of distracting from it.

With all of this in mind (and considering Dennis' own musical style) overt emotion and mood triumphs over all- he had been depressed by his break-up with his wife Karen Lamm-Wilson, finally charted out his own musical path away from the Beach Boys as the band was practically hanging by a thread, and was utterly dismayed by environmental destruction and degradation in California- as seen in the terrific, thundering opener "River Song". Thanks to the (severely underrated) talent of Dennis and Gregg's production work, the whole album is surrounded by a full and intricate wall of sound and emotion- and as a result, the album has a atmospheric sadness to it that pervades it all, but it also shines and expresses itself in many different ways. If the Beach Boys famously signified a sunny day on the beach- Dennis' work was the thick June Gloom that blanketed the whole ocean.

But that didn't mean that all of the songs on the album were grim- Dennis shows appreciation for life, love, and music in a way only he could, like in the heavenly-sounding and mandolin-filled track "Rainbows" and the somber-yet-greatful tone of "Farewell My Friend". The theme of loss in the latter song hits harder in hindsight- while Dennis had been working on a new album (work-titled 'Bambu') his indulgence in excess worsened to the point where his body and mind deteriorated rapidly and never recovered. He would drown in Marina del Rey in California- He was only 39. He was cremated and his ashes would be scattered over the Pacific Ocean.

But while many are quick to bring up Dennis' rough life & end and (almost solely) paint him as a tragic figure to set the mood for his obituary- it does a great disservice to his memory & the sheer joy writing music for others gave him (as he would state multiple times in interviews). And after being out of print for so long, Pacific Ocean Blue was finally re-released in 2008 and soon became wildly acclaimed by critics and fans, keeping his music alive for generations to come as much of his other unreleased work with the Beach Boys finally gets released officially to this very day- and what we can finally hear is gorgeous.

[imichelle-l-rigby]

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Series 3, episode 2

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*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

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And now for episode 2…

🎵 Set 1 (Gonna Be - Sun King)

Gonna Be: an interesting beginning! I like the layers of motivic play from low, mid, and high parts of the texture. Fun instrument and sound effect choices, as well!

Come Home: harmonies are dense, but so wholesome and satisfying. It reminds me of a lot of Americana material.

Sun King: I LOVE THE BEATLES SO UNIRONICALLY 😍😍😍😍. Also, Abbey Road had its birthday this past week! 😊

🎤Talking Break

“Blathering blindly”

“Bus stops along the way”

He sounds more chill this time than last week? His voice is giving serious ASMR vibes

“Treash”

His love of close harmonies is so valid 👌

That’s adorable him asking his dad about the faux Italian in “Sun King” 😂

🎵Set 2 (SpongeBob -

SpongeBob: I promise you that this is the last thing I think of in association with SpongeBob! 😅 while this is objectively good, it’s not my cup of tea. I do like that I can understand/follow the lyrics. Well done and well constructed.

Officina stellare: I like this! A fun, atmospheric piece.

I’m not sure why this and SpongeBob go together, but the juxtaposition is striking.

🎤Talking Break:

Italian pronunciation should be: oh-fee-chee-nah steh-lah-rey

“Brilliant atmosphere of doom” ok… way to bring down the vibe, Cillian! 😅

🎵Set 3 (Weird Lullaby - Nite Owl)

Weird Lullaby: I do enjoy some good, original jazz. Swing era, and an unorthodox use of scat. I looked up Babs, and I need to find more of his stuff. He’s got an enjoyable voice, and approaches harmonies in a beautiful way.

Nite Owl: even though this is also an “oldie,” it is a STRONG difference compared with the previous!!! But I like this - what a feel good song! Good use of what is now called a “twang” vocal technique (twang isn’t just for country music).

🎤Talking Break

Now I need to listen to Frank Zappa’s Jukebox…

Joke’s on you, Cillian! First time I listened to this I was NOT “headphoned up!” 😂 I know, I’m such a rebel! 😂😂 Jk I was too lazy to go get my AirPods

🎵Set 4 (Trees, etc. - A Slice of the Top)

Trees, etc: well, it’s certainly better/more enjoyable than “Revolution 9” - that is one trippy, scary song! But I’ll be honest, I expected more “sound directionality” when he said to “headphone up,” like when you can hear the direction of the sound change from left to right. Regardless, this is a cool concept piece.

A Slice Of The Top: more jazzy, for sure. I’m loving the different riffs! Something about it sounds like Afro-Cuban jazz, but idk why? Maybe it’s the background rhythms? Fun dissonant harmonies, though!

🎤Talking Break:

“There is some coherence… somewhere”

🎵Set 5 (Dr. Ring Ding -Jack Ruby)

Dr. Ring Ding: the intro is so weird 😅 but no, this is a cool song. Again, I always appreciate some good riffs/solos!

Jack Ruby: same artist!! Wow! And man, I just wanna dance listening to these songs!💃

🎤Talking Break

A Cork specific question!

I saw somewhere someone was asking what a “boogie” is supposed to mean. I *think* (?) it’s just a jam session or performance of some kind??? At lest that’s how I’m interpreting this story.

A pub called Snotty Joe’s?! 😂😂😂

Ejected from establishments 😂😂😂😂

Corkonians

“Brilliantly sound self”

🎵Set 6 (Gone Daddy Gone - Downtown Train)

Gone Daddy Gone: ok, this is a boogie, if I say so! The instrumental track is fun, though repetitive. The vocal line is fairly monotone. Idk why monotone songs work, but they do (Mr. Brightside is a great example of monotone done right)! And a marimba solo?! Yes, please! 🤩

Downtown Train: ok… Tom Waits’ voice is not my favorite. That being said, this is a good song. It’s not something I would listen to often because of the vocals, but it’s definitely got merit. And something about this is so nostalgic?

🎤Talking Break

Aretha!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

Yay archive material!!!

“Baby, baby, baby”

🎵Set 7 (Baby, Baby, Baby)

Baby, baby, baby: I have no words. Aretha has SUCH a lovely, effortless-sounding voice! And her songs are so soulful! Perfection. 💯

🎤Talking Break

Thoughts on Bill: he’s eclectic. But his description is vague and I wish he’d be more specific.

🎵Set 8 (Free’s - Weird Sisters)

Free’s: the melody isn’t ambitious (almost like a recitative), but his voice has a nice, rich quality to it! And the instrumentation is fun! Almost like a little jazzy flute riff along with atmospheric backing.

Weird Sisters: enjoyable song! Definitely enjoying the slow build in texture - well done.

As a voice teacher, I want to double check some vocal production techniques of his. I’m not sure if some of the vocal anomalies I’m hearing are purposeful or not. I think they’re done on purpose, but if not, he should go visit an ENT (the doctor, not the talking tree). TLDR: vocal health is important.

🎤Talking Break

Oh no… not more weird dude from Yorkshire 😅

I’m still so confused.

Ok… an introduction to the next artist.

🎵Set 9 (Micael)

Micael: I like this song a lot. Guitar is haunting, atmospheric, and repetitive. The other instrumental and sound effects in the back are nice additions! The vocal line and it’s layers just keep adding to the strangeness of this song. It’s a puzzle, and I think that’s why I like it - it keeps you on your toes!

🎤Talking Break

An exclusive! 🙀

Oooh… a book reading!

Comments on Jarvis: yes. Music is a magic trick! His French is good. *the tingle* - yep! So important!

“Pop music was real music as far as I was concerned” - I do disagree with this point. All music is real. You may not like it, but that’s a different subject 🤷‍♀️

🎵Set 10 (Black Magic)

Black Magic: why is this such a banger??? 😎😎😎 the bell line is a really nice touch, and I like it’s unique and unexpected melody compared to the more predictable vocal line and chorus.

🎤Talking Break:

“Thank you, Jarvis”

🎵Set 11 (Harmoniser Dub - The Smoke)

Harmoniser Dub: for something with “harmonize” in the title, there isn’t much harmonizing… (I know, I’m being purposefully obtuse) 😂 but a fun use of electronic sounds and non-vocal music!

The Smoke: I like this a lot more than the previous song! Lots of unexpected rhythmic pauses, and the mysterious vocal line is cool 😎 I like how this song is constantly morphing and borrowing styles to form a whole.

🎤Talking Break

Love remixes!

“No let’s not play the ident”

“Friends”

🎵Set 12 (Lwonsome Tonight - All Souls)

Lwonsome Tonight: now I have a complicated relationship with her voice. She purposefully sings in a thin, unsupported style and in a difficult portion of her range to create a specific haunting/folksy effect. I get it, but I don’t care for it. Good storytelling, and the vocal melody has an interesting contour.

All Souls: a strong contrast with the previous song! I like the electronic distortion and sub-pulses. 👍 the piano line is reminiscent of some of the driving pulses in funeral marches, so that’s a cool touch. I would say I prefer this song to the other one featured.

🎤Talking Break

I do love covers

🎵Set 13 (PinkMoon - Paprika Pony)

Pink Moon: I like this! Fun electronic components, and a pleasant head-dominant vocal production. This is such a vibe! ✨

Side note: isn’t AURORA featured in Frozen 2?

Paprika Pony: WHOA what a contrast! This is all clear-cut edges where the previous is all soft and fluffy. I know that has nothing to do with musical qualities, but that’s how I’m hearing it tonight.

I guess this set is tied together by alliteration? 😂

🎤Talking Break

“Anthemic” - I did not know that was a word!

🎵Set 14 (Stand Anthem)

Stand Anthem: I’m sorry, Cill, but I don’t like this. I enjoyed the first 20 seconds? It does have a “We Are The World” vibe, but it’s so repetitive. I think it’s the “stand” portions I dislike most - they don’t go anywhere. There’s no sense of build or momentum, and I’d really like to have that featured, especially in an anthem!

🎤Talking Break

Yay! Irish music!

Set 15 (Foreign Fleas)

Foreign Fleas: dude, this sounds dark and scary! 🫣 but that’s not a bad thing! I’m just a wimp 😂 but there are some nice, crunchy, dissonant harmonies in the vocal line. 👍

🎤Talking Break

“Brave and moving act of communication”

“Multitudinal”

What’s a Wally???

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 16 (Become the Earth - Distant Sky)

Become the Earth: oddly enough, I would describe her voice as “earthy” 😂 the simplicity of this song is nice. Heavily produced stuff is nice, but so is something like this. There’s still some post-production parts, but it’s not overwhelming. I did like that descending and ascending slide in the backing vocals! That was cool!!!

Distant Sky: Nick Cave is one of those artists who has such a gift when it comes to storytelling. However, his voice isn’t my favorite. That being said, what he adds instrumentally and through storytelling outweighs his vocal production (which is also a choice, I believe). And the juxtaposition of Nick and Else Torp is just wow! Overall, this is a beautiful song, and I’m happy the show ended so strongly with this gorgeous piece.

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And that’s episode 2! Honestly, I’m surprised I was able to get this out by Friday - this week has been hectic! 😂😅

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Feel feee to share/comment! 😊

Tag List:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

[for-a-longlongtime]

Songs and Musings in the Key of Peña-Rockford - Pt 2

Edit: oops, I accidentally-purposely snippeted when @legendary-pink-dot tried to torture me. Click here for a 'Javi pressed down on Tim's desk' teaser.

Time to play around and discover some more song vibes. First two were picked by @sin-djarin who, I am convinced, should really make a career out of soundtracking fic, shows and movies because she's so good at it.

Guns - All Them Witches

Listen, this one has me fucked up in ways that I can't even explain. But I feel this song in my soul when I think of Peña and Rockford - in so many ways. It's the lyrics with the music and the pent up feelings and everything. (and gun holsters, let's not forget about those...)

Shoot your guns as loud as you can Loud as you can, loud as you can Fight your wars as long as you can Long as you can, long as you can

Does this really make you a man Make you a man, make you a man? Wipe that blood off your hands Off your hands, off your hands

Now let's move forward

Dirt - Depeche Mode

And do you feel it? Said, do you feel it when you touch me? I said, do you feel it when you touch me? I'm fire Well, there's a fire Yeah, alright

It's just a burning inside It's just a burning inside Said, do you feel it? Said, do you feel it when you cut me? Said, do you feel it when you cut me?

@sin-djarin killing it with naming this one as a Tim song.

I mean, what more is there to say? This is definitely Tim in his car, plans for the night. No gun holsters or white shirt, no work clothes, but something sharper and darker, fresh cologne, stubble a little heavier than it was earlier in the day. Aching for a drink or two and to forget about the day, the week, finally out of the office and headed somewhere he doesn't have to think about others, just about himself.(Just so you know, this definitely isn't granny's Mansion that he's headed to).

Puro Teatro - La Lupe

Hit play and tell me you can't hear this playing in a bar where Javier is having a couple of whiskeys. Like, I can SEE it. Taste the smoke in the air. This song is from the soundtrack of Almodovar's Women On The Verge of A Nervous Break Down (yes, I absolutely got this from Pedro's picks on the Breaking Techniques interview). The only reason why I'm not including lyric snippets here - like I'm doing with most of the others - is because the lyrics do not specifically relate to the WIP story IMO.

El Cuarto De Tula - Buena Vista Social Club

I mean... yes. Buena Vista Social Club always. Just listen to the music.

Soy El Prohibido - Olga Guillot

Soy ese vicio de tu piel que ya no puedes desprender soy lo prohibido Soy esa fiebre de tu ser que te domina sin querer, soy lo prohibido

(English translation:

I am that vice of your skin that you can no longer let go I am the forbidden I am that fever of your being that dominates you without wanting to I am the forbidden)

Another bolero that is heavy on vibes rather than lyrical meaning. Remember Pancho Herrara in that bar slowdancing with his lover to Dos Gardenias, everybody staring at them? It's that kind of evening, but less center of attention (and no cracking bottles of aguardiente on anyone's head). It's Javier talking to a woman at the bar, eyes smiling, couple of glasses of liquor, lips brushing briefly over her neck as he leans in to say something. Her wanting him to come dance with her, but he's not really a dancer - still, he'll wrap an arm around her and sway her slightly to this song for a moment.

Sinner Man - Nina Simone

I'm finding it a lot easier to imagine Rockford's favorite artists and songs than Javi's, to be honest. For some reason I feel that while Javier likes to listen to music, he's less specific with 'this particular song is my favorite' etc. However, I'm dead certain that he has at least a Nina Simone album or two that he'll listen to a lot.

When it comes to anger, insecurities, conflict - looking back at Colombia in particular -, this one stands out to me. The building crescendo, like when you push away your feelings and fears but eventually it will all come up to the surface and spill over. When this song comes on, Javier listens. He'll light up a cigarette and listen, with that slight frown - you know the one I mean - on his face, the one when he's deep in thought. There's not much drama about it, he doesn't get particularly emotional about it... he just really listens. Every time. He likes it, not in a comforting way, but because he knows this is how things feel when shit goes down and certain memories won't leave.

Don't you see me down here prayin'? But the Lord said Go to the Devil, the Lord said Go to the Devil He said go to the Devil All on that day

Sinnerman, you oughta be prayin' Oughta be prayin', all on that day

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Links to previous posts in this WIP musings series:

The Law Enforcement Ball poll, a.k.a. where it all started (and escalated quickly)

'I Fought The Law (And The Law Won): WIP snippet

Songs and Musings in the Key Of Pena-Rockford Pt 1

Thots and 🐱 Poll, Sunday Evening edition

I'm not tagging people in these musing posts because I don't want to spam y'all; I'll do that only for actual written fic posts, JSYK. If you want your name added to that taglist to be notified when the first chapter drops (and there'll probably be another WIP snippet post before that), leave a comment to let me know.

[wokeup-inadaze]

Favorite Lyrics From Heartbreak Weather

Heartbreak Weather:

You, that's what I've been missing/was tangled up and twisted/now all the clouds been lifted.

Black and White:

I can't promise picket fences/or sunny afternoons.

Dear Patience:

So, this song, THIS SONG. Has too many.

1 - Dear patience/Can we share a drink and let go of the pressure?

2 - Just me and the stars can get lonely

3 - Hey can you show your face/Can you see that I'm anxious/Can you hear what I'm saying, saying/Hey, cause I fall to fast/and go down blazing

4 - If I pour my heart out can you keep a promise (hmm)/Cause the situation/is like a mountain weighing on my conscience

(yeah ok the whole song)

Bend The Rules:

And I pour myself a glass/it won't be the last/just all medicine for now

Small Talk:

Oh, you see the fool in my mind/Can't run and hide/With your stare on me

Nice To Meet Ya:

I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear/cause when the morning comes/I know you won't be there

Put A Little Love On Me:

yeah this one is trouble for me too

1 - Is it wrong I still don't know my heart?

2 - Another Friday night tryna put on a show/Do you hate the weekend 'cause no one is calling

3 - I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin.

4 - We wrote and we wrote/ 'til there were no more words/we laughed and cried/until we saw our worst

5 - Last night I lay awake/stuck on the things we say/and when I close my eyes, the first things i hear you say is/put a little love on me , yeah

6 - When the lights come up, we're the only ones dancing/I look around and you're standing there asking/you say, you're the only one I need

ok, again, the whole song

Arms of a Stranger:

If we're not going to do this honestly/Baby, won't ya give me back what you took apart

Everywhere:

The ground beneath my feet's a bit colder/I see your face in people I don't know/Feels like the world is twisting in slow-mo/And I'm stuck in one place

Cross Your Mind:

You keep talkin, I'll just listen/Daydreaming 'bout where your lips' been/pull my heart right out my chest, drive a train through/still get up and forgive you

New Angel:

Each time I close my eyes/she's in there running wild/I'm hoping you get her out of my mind.

No Judgement:

Even though we both know we'll move on/I'll keep your secrets safe/until that time we find ourselves alone again

San Francisco:

Drunk dialing/Full dive in/Don't you tell that it's too late now/Cause I'm pacing/I keep breaking/Is there a way to make it up somehow?

Still:

hahahaha a few lyrics she said to herself once

1 - My mind is complicated/Find it hard to rearrange it/But I'll have to find a way somehow/Overreacting lately/Find it hard to say I'm sorry/But I'll make it up to you somehow

2 - And I just don't know why/The stars won't shine at night

3 - Tell me you want it/A thousand miles away from the day that we started/But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest/If honesty means telling you the truth/Well, I'm still in love with you

4 - Did I miscalculate this/Let's just go back to basics/Forget about what's come and gone/'Cause I hate to see us like this/Breaking up on nights just like this/We should be shooting for them stars of gold

Yeah, all in all that is the whole song.

Dress:

I'm calling 'cause I'm nervous/I know that we don't talk/I know that it's on purpose

Nothing:

What turns the sky from black to gold?/What sends my tears up in flames?

[ainulindaelynn]

Top 10 Bands/Musicians

Tagged by the wonderful @aeide and @sleeplessincarcosa <3

Some of these are temporary and some are always. Aaand I’m breaking the rules to go off the rails because it’s late 😂

1. Def Leppard - it’s always Def Leppard. On every music list I ever do, it will always be Def Leppard. Foolin’? Animal? The BEST.

2. The Black Keys - one of you suggested this ages ago and I fell down the rabbit hole never to be seen again.

3. Joseph - this is a local PDX band that’s gone a bit bigger, but they KILL at this very airy sound and have some lyrics that are just 🙌. Whirlwind, Honest, Canyon, Wind… there are so many good ones.

4. John Denver - Being honest here 😂 My dad grew up VERY rural, packing horses into the mountains on the weekends, and his dad used to play this on the radio when he was a kid, making breakfast, so he’s always done the same and it conjures alllll of that for me. And he writes with a lot of texture. Experiential. You hear the flight patterns of The Eagle and the Hawk. You see the sea spray in Calypso. These days, I do a lot of gender-neutralizing with his music, but he was very much a hippie (see Rhymes & Reasons 😂), so I think he’d do that himself if he were still writing today. He has so many I love: Matthew, To the Wild Country, Poems, Prayers, & Promises… Among all his famous ones. I mean what other songwriter leaves after a fight and returns with Annie’s Song? It’s just absurd 😂

5. Ingrid Michaelson - She never comes to mind when I think of artists I love, but I have 30-some songs of hers. She just never misses the mark. Her old stuff. Her new stuff. It’s all fantastic.

6. Dean Lewis - Half his songs were written for Thalexios. Change my mind.

7. RAIGN - both of these last two are for a handful of ship-specific songs (likely short lived), although I’m coming to love RAIGN’s style more and more.

8. Imagine Dragons - immediately puts me back in a very specific era. They don’t swear in their songs and usually I couldn’t care less, but when I was doing mental health support in schools that made them one of the few bands we could listen to and they were ALWAYS on, especially Whatever It Takes. I love the person I was then - I was very myself, despite the fact that things were WILD 24/7. I sang a lot of Start Over on my way to work 🤣

9. Mumford & Sons - Don’t know as much about them as I should, but this is an era too. Awake My Soul especially, but there are a dozen at least. And in lieu of a 10th, I’ll do Story Time, because this has me nostalgic and it’s way too long and tumblr is something of a void, right…? 😂 When I listened to them most, I was super young, had started working with a nonprofit, and my worldview was being blown apart. I was also “not-dating” a guy I’d known my whole life - a marine stationed overseas at the time. Before he reached out, I’d noticed a pattern of hometown SOs he’d start up with and then ghost when he came back. I knew his game. He just wanted an anchor. We never talked about it and I never felt compelled to tell him I’d NEVER date him, because I knew he was bullshitting me. But things got out of hand. We talked twice a day for 10 months… with a 16hr time difference… during a HUGE time in both our lives. Him processing his life. My revelations. Love, but not as a partner? But we never talked about what we were doing. And at the end, he started scaring me, getting all weepy about me when he was drinking and I felt like an awful person. We talked about him coming home, but I always kept conversations pointed at him, the family he’d see, what they were like, the places he’d go... If he cut ties, I didn’t want broken promises. I wanted it clean. And sure enough, his plane landed and we never spoke again - all that sap, a strange goodbye. He’s a stranger ever since, walking around with a year of my mind tucked inside his, and I smile when I remember him, because it was what we both needed and it ended when it needed. I hope, somehow, he knows that.

Buuut I’ll never break the silence to make sure, so good luck, buddy. Best wishes 😅

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No pressure tagging @desperate-confidence @merelyafigment @milfeivor @newengland-shrike @blue-mono :)

[askthehiddencaste]

Golden Fields

Winged Lotus drabble

Avonis belongs to @memurfevur

Shuska enjoys a soft, quiet moment with her youngest and her daughter before struggling with herself on what to say in her next letter

“Come now little one, you're burning up.”

Shuska frowned down to the golden hued egg she had been caring for. It has psionics, that was for sure, but the kind was still mostly unknown. 

Though Avonis seemed to have the best idea on what it could be. And to be honest, Shuska was starting to believe much the same.

“Let's turn off that heat miser, you won't hatch if you keep this up Sallom” she hummed softly, gently lifting the egg from its little nest and cradling it against her colder form. 

Thin fingers trailed up over the golden hue of the egg, her eyes lidding half way as she watched for any form of movement from the grub inside.  It had been in her care for almost a sweep at this point, and for Cerium even longer. 

Avonis had explained how the color would stop darkening close to the hatch date, and this pyrite gold shade hadnt changed in almost a week. The lime moved to sit on the couch beside the small nest.

“Sallom  you're scaring mom with how warm you are” she whispered to herself, eyes closing and a soft purr rumbling in her chest. Shuska wouldn't admit it but these soft quiet moments held to herself with a grub, or in this case an egg, held to her chest were her favorites. This and standing out in the fresh falling snow. 

The soft, gentle tapping and scratching within the egg was the only sound in the house while everyone slept. The quiet sounds of life that hardly anyone got to hear. Shuska smiled, her eyes opening just enough to look at the egg in her arms.

“Maybe I should sing to you? Would that settle you down enough to rest?” she whispered, kissing the shell and perking up when the scratching seemed to concentrate at the point of her kiss.

“What? Liked that did you?” she chuckled, leaning down to press another kiss to the shell only for the same reaction to repeat. The lime couldn't help but smile at her grub and settled back down.

“It's time to rest little one” she hummed, softly starting to sing a lullaby for the little gold in her arms.

As quiet as she was, Shuska’s singing always seemed to wake her daughter, Cerium coming out to sit in the hall and listen to her mothers song. 

“Mom?” she asked softly, coming out properly to see how Shuska was holding the youngest of their cobbled together family. 

“Hmm? Oh, cerium. I didn't mean to wake you” she hummed, shifting over and allowing her daughter to sit beside her. 

“It's okay…what were you singing?” she asked as she reached over to touch the egg. Shuska couldn't help but smile at how gentle she was being. 

“It's called ‘Fields of gold’. I was taught it long ago when I was out at sea” she answered. Though she failed to mention why she was out there, Cerium already knew. “Back on the first time?” 

“Yes, the first time. There was a beautiful teal that taught me and a few others as a way to keep hopes up” 

A soft silence settled over them, cerium listening to Sallom’s movements with a bright smile on her lips.

“Mom? Can you teach me?” cerium asked, breaking the silence and bringing a smile to the older limes lips. It had been a long time since she heard cerium ask that. 

“Of course I can… i'll always help you learn” 

***

The next hour was spent with Shuska softly singing and letting Cerium play roundabout with the lyrics until they were both singing and swaying softly with the tune. 

“I think Ann could write a tune that if we worked on it” cerium hummed, yawning softly as Shuska got up. She nodded as she sat the cooled egg back in its nest. 

“Shh… we dont want to wake him up again, i just got him  to cool down” Shuska whispered, cerium nodding and covering her mouth as she got up.

Shuska couldn't help a soft chuckle as she put a hand on ceriums back as the younger gave another soft yawn. “How about you go lay back down, it's the middle of the day and you must be exhausted” she cooed. Cerium nodded and let her hand drop finally,  a smile returning to her mother.

“Yea… try to get some sleep too mom…okay?” she asked, stopping in her doorway and letting Shuska continue down the hall without her. 

“Of course sweetie. Sleep well” she hummed back, stepping into her bedroom and closing the door with a soft click.

Shuska sighed and looked to the ceiling, thoughts straying back to the song and the jade she had been thinking of before.

“Avonis…. I wonder… Could I convince you to wander the fields with me?” she asked the silent room, her hand moving up to gently run over the gemstone of her bracelet. 

She sighed after a moment and turned on the small lamp at her desk, pulling out a scroll of plain paper and spreading it out. 

What could she say? It had been only a perigee since their last letters, since her wriggling day….

With a deep breath she brought out their legend,starting to write in their secret language.

Avonis, 

Forgive the rapid sending of another missive, but I must address a crucial bit of information to you. Last we spoke it was completely for our own entertainment, but this must be addressed as quickly as possible.

Shuska stared at the almost cold words on the page, frowning at herself with a huff.  She shouldn't want to speak to him so warmly, he was dedicated to his duties and according to the cavern the outside world should be denounced and pushed away. 

“Should I even continue writing this?” she asked aloud, a moth in its little container fluttering as though to answer her. She looked at it and chuckled. “You're right. He deserves to know… this is his special secret as well” she hummed.

She crumpled the initial letter and set to trying again:

My Dear Avonis, - 

A disgruntled sigh escaped as she cut the top of the paper off.

“He's not mine to address like that!” she hissed to herself, looking at the cut off words. “Why is this letter so hard to write? What's changed between us?!”

Shuska sat there for a while before blinking. “I changed… Do I really feel like this? Is this actually me?” she frowned “ or is this just… a want for someone to hold me again…?” she sighed again and put pen to paper, trying not to think on what she was writing as she let the pen guide her hand. 

Avonis, 

Forgive the rushed correspondence but I needed to get this information to you. Since we last spoke, Sallom’s shell has darkened as you advised, but the color has stopped growing darker. 

Your first instincts of his hue seemed to be correct. Sallom is a dark pyrite gold and his psionics seem to be heating him almost to overheating while he is active in his egg. 

I feel that he will hatch within the next two weeks at most and i am afraid that i may not be ready to bear the struggle of his psionics when they properly develop

While I know you are busy with your own duties, it would be a blessing to have a visit or even a response via worm to possibly get a bit of instruction on how to best work with a grub on his psionics. 

You are a great help to me in these times of uncertainty and I appreciate every letter you send me.

Shuska read over her writing with a small smile, signing off with a stamp of a leaf beside deer tracks.

She stared at the letter for a few more silent breaths before taking a chance and writing a soft little continuation at the bottom.

P.S.- Thank you for the Yule gift. It helps alleviate how much I miss you when I see it

Shuska could feel her heart racing in her chest as she wrote it but she couldn't stop now, her hands already rolling the page into a tight tube and tying it closed. She gets the moth out and carefully helps tie it to the creature's abdomen.

“Make sure this gets to him safe. Fly swiftly little luna” she whispered, opening the window a crack to let the creature out into the alley that would soon be plunged into the darkness that life thrived in.

With a knot in her stomach, Shuska went to bed. All her hopes now sat in the grasp of a swift little moth.

[thoughts-on-music-tm]

Top 10 Songs of 2022!!!!

2022 is over, and that means it's time for year-end list!!! Without further ado, here are the 10 best songs of 2022!

You can find a spotify playlist with each song on it here.

Honorable Mentions: Prester John – Animal Collective Hypothermic – Goodnight, Texas God Is a Circle – Yves Tumor

10. That's Where I Am - Maggie Rogers Genre: Pop, with a hint of Indie rock Vibe: A bright and sunny morning                Maggie Rogers combines a beautiful yearning with an unending hope to make the romance she describes feel almost inevitable. Every time she sings, "It all works out in the end," it starts to sound less like a prediction and more like a manifestation.

9. Curse of the Blackened Eye - Orville Peck Genre: Cowboy Country Vibe: Heartbreak is a warm sensation                To me, a lot of Orville Peck's music has felt like it was more about the idea of a relationship rather than an actual experience. This song, through all his usual flamboyant cowboy aesthetic, feels incredibly personal. The deep melancholy in his voice during lines like, "It ain't the letting go, it's more about the things that you take with" create a poignant sense of self reflection. This makes it his most personal song and also his most universally relatable.

8. Go Slow – Jordana Genre: Bedroom Pop (Though any room with a nice couch will do) Vibe: Chill vibes all the way down 🐢                If self-care was a song. It's as much about avoiding responsibility as it is about realizing the stress-inducing things we're told are vital are so rarely as required as they seem. A deadline missed here or there and a day off now and then won't be the end of the world - but that break may mean the world to you.

7. That's Our Lamp – Mitski Genre: Ethereal Indie Pop Vibe: Happy memories for when it's over                When I first heard The Sound by The 1975, I misheard the following lyrics "I said that I love you / What does it matter if *[I like you too]?" (The actual line is "What does it matter if I lie to you"). I thought this was an interesting lyrical idea to explore: that loving someone and liking someone are different things, and one does not necessarily imply the other. To be honest, I was a little disappointed to learn I had misheard the lyric.                Then Mitski dropped That's Our Lamp, a fantastic, joyful closer to her album full of her usual brand of heartbreak, and in it is this line:

You say you love me, I believe you do But I walk down and up and down And up and down this street 'Cause you just don't like me, Not like you used to

And Mitski uses this idea to its full potential, as a beautiful way to explore an ending relationship.

6. Every Heart Is True - Little Mazarn Genre: Finely Aged Folk Vibe: A warm mug of tea on a cold day                I spent a lot of this year getting into folk music; this was the song convinced me I should stay. Finding this song felt more like uncovering something that had always been there, an ethereal bit of beauty and grace nestled in a patch of freshly fallen autumn leaves 🍃. Each plucked string of the banjo, ringing chime, and ethereal word sung serves to set right the world once more.

Also, if you've never seen live folk music like this, check out a video of their live performances. One of the members plays a hand saw - like, the woodcutting tool - with a violin bow and it sounds like an acoustic theremin. You can hear it clearly at the beginning of this song, and it sounds heavenly.

5. the angel of 8th ave. - Gang of Youths Genre: Dad Alt Rock Vibe: Laying on large rocks, being warmed by the sun                One musical niche I love is the recent works of older rock musicians - I’ve listened to a lot of the new Tears For Fears album and The War On Drug's album from last year recently. I find they bring a richness of wisdom that is often not present with younger musicians. Because of that, I was genuinely surprised to find out that this song was written by someone in their mid-twenties. It draws from a rich well of experience, and that brings it a depth that I rarely find in younger musicians. The song embraces the struggles of relationships between imperfect people in unfamiliar places, but it's thesis is that love is fundamentally stronger than any of that. And that's not an abstract idea - lines like "And when my old man was near to the end / You loved his broken body in the same way that I did" show the how personal and everyday acts of love are far more resilient in this song than the pain that love existed in response to.

4. Don't get the deal – beabadoobee Genre: Alt Rock Vibe: Brightly rekindled old flame                Beabadoobee's effortless meshing of quiet, bedroom pop ballads with all-out alt-rock bangers make this song feel both like a peek inside a personal conversation and a joyful, public celebration. Both the acoustic duet that begins this song and driving rock jam that ends it feel so wholesome that, when she sings "It feels like we'll stop eventually / For now I guess we were meant to be" over either, it's hard to imagine her romance as anything other than meant to be.

3. The Loneliest Time - Carly Rae Jepsen ft. Rufus Wainwright Genre: Pop For The Pop Connoisseur Vibe: Light rain romance                It's no secret I'm a big fan of Carly Rae Jepsen, but it took me a while to realize how much I loved this song (and I won't lie, a good part of that was the TikTok where she sings the "I'm coming back for you baby!" part to her cat over facetime). But this song is just infectious. The impeccable duet, The swooning string section, and groovy hooks at every turn!

               If you haven't listened to Carly Rae Jepsen since Call Me Maybe took over the world in 2011, this is an excellent showcase of why she's so beloved amongst pop connoisseurs. Like all her music, it has some of the best songwriting and production you can find in pop music. But what I love most about this song is how incredibly endearing it is. Her and Rufus Wainwright each reminisce about their half of a relationship, each incomplete without the other. Through her charming rose-colored perspective, all the loneliness of the past few years was like reaching the moon - just a bit too soon. But that loneliness ends with each other, and not even lunar distances could separate them. And as the song ends the dance beat fades, it leaves only their voices nestled together amongst the strings. It sounds like a Californian beach sunset, captured in a song.

2. Venomous Dogma - Fantastic Negrito Genre: Blues. Gospel. Rock. And all of them done better than most artists can do one. Vibe: Righteous anger, Righteous release                This song starts and album about the singer's seven-greats grandparents, a white indentured servant and an enslaved Black man during the 1750s in what would become the United States of America. He uses their story of love to discuss the history of racism in America and the various systems of racial and economic oppression that have plagued the country since. It is one of the most optimistic albums of the year. If his grandparents' love was stronger than racist laws and slavery itself, then there may be hope for us yet.               As the start of that journey, this song showcases America caught between racial crisis and reconciliation. What I really love about this song is how varied it is - it opens with an excellent Gospel section, then transitions seamlessly into a gruff blues section, yelling in anger. Each of these sections has a deep, tangible respect from the genres they draw from. The histories of these genres is intertwined with America's struggle with racism, and this song's traditional-but-forward-looking take on them sets a powerful musical precedent on how the country can start to reconcile - only with both a knowledge of history and a willingness to move past it. It's easily the most immaculately crafted song of the year.

1. When You Know You Know - The Beths Genre: Indie Rock Vibe: Pure joy distilled into a love song                At first look, this is the year's most effortless love song. A closer look reveals that this song focuses on the daily work required for a healthy relationship - apologies, comforting, and care - that only seem effortless in couples with both partners willing to commit themselves fully to each other. The "meant to be" this song describes isn't some destiny, it's what each person is going to repeatedly work for until it happens. It's a beautiful, mutual effort, and every bit of that - the toil and the joy - is so apparent in every part of this song.

Thanks for reading and here's to a great 2023!

[meteoramp3]

Angel of Music - Jacaerys Velaryon

Summary: Your boyfriend's cousin, Baela is planning a Halloween party at her house, so you try to convince your boyfriend to match costumes with you.

Words: 1k

Warnings: Musical nerd alert, fluff.

  Your phone was connected to the boombox that was placed on the countertop of the kitchen. “Heathers: The Musical” was playing obnoxiously loud and your throat was rather sore after spending the past two hours screaming the lyrics like your life depended on it.

  Jace was nowhere to be found, and Vermax was hiding under the bed of your room because he did not want to know who Heather Chandler is.

  But before Kindergarten boyfriend started playing, you decided it was enough Heathers for a day and picked another album from your Spotify library, Hamilton.

  You had managed to get to the 5th song, The Schuyler Sisters, before the sound of footsteps outside the main door warned you that Jace was finally coming back from his walk, which made you turn the music down.

  The door opened and Jace walked in, locking the door and dropping a shopping bag from... Yenny? Ah, he bought a book. He looked at you and waved before making his way towards you and giving you a hug.

  - “Hi” Jace simply said while resting his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling your neck softly.

  - “Hello, you abandoned me”. You were looking at him over your shoulder with furrowed brows, he shook his head. “I needed a little break from doing nothing and Vermax jumping on my back. I'm going to end like my aunt before I even turn 25… But anyway, what were you doing while I was gone?”

  - “I got the cookie dough out of the freezer and put it in the oven”. You felt him nod, you simply patted his shoulder. “They're over there”, You pointed at the table across the room and the man basically ran over said table, making you chuckle. “Do you like them?” He nodded violently before making a thumbs up.

  - “Y'know, maybe we should send you...” chomp “to Master Chef” chomp “or one of those things,” chomp “they are amazing”.

  You looked at the man incredulously and pinched your fingers (🤌) at him, “One, swallow that before you keep talking, I don't want you to drown, and two, you're exaggerating, but thanks still”.

  You walked towards the table before grabbing a chair and sitting on it, looking at him expectantly.

  -“What?”. Jace was hitting his chest softly after choking with the cookies. “Don't you have something to tell me?” He shook his head. “No?” He shook his head again.

  You looked at him with a raised eyebrow while resting your fist against your cheek. “What about a Halloween party? At Baela’s house?”

  -“Ah! That, right…” He cleared his throat, “Do you want to go?” You nodded, “Obviously, I need to get out of this house every once in a while, y'know?”.

  He saw the look on your eyes and knew what was coming, “Let me guess, you want to match?” He saw you nod yet again “What are your suggestions this year?”

  -“Christine and the Phantom or Veronica Sawyer and JD” He left out a sigh before rubbing his temple, “Not this again…”

  -“Excuse me, but you asked for it.” Your fingers started to trace the veins on his arm, trying to seduce him into the idea. “Or do you have a better suggestion?” He shook his head.

  -“I mean, the costume is not bad… But I find it corny, if I'm honest” He cringed because, how dare he? “Jacaerys Velaryon, you're going to give me a headache. Explain yourself, traitor”.

  -“The mask. It's corny and the cloak, if it wasn't for it and the mask, anyone would think I am a waiter”.

  -“A handsome one”.

  He stared pacing around while munching on your precious cookies, running his hand through his hair dramatically and looking at the landscape outside the window.

  -“I will do it, but…” He thought for a bit, “You’re making pizza that night and your costume is on you. Deal?” He extended his hand, waiting for a handshake. “Deal”. You shook his hand.

  -“Alrig-”

  -“The tuxedo is in your closet, by the way”.

  -“You bought it already?” You nodded, “Like I said, who do you think I am? I know how to sew for a reason”.

  -“So, you made the dress yourself?”

  -“Yes sir, though I bought the small clothes and socks, obviously…”

  Jace looked at you with a proud smile on his face before cupping your cheeks with his hands and kissing you. When he pulled away, his fingers squeezed your soft cheeks. His pretty brown eyes looking at you dreamily. “My girlfriend,” He said. “My pretty, amazing and talented girlfriend. I love you”. You pulled away from him awkwardly, overwhelmed by the sudden display of affection, “Jace, where the fuck did that come from?” He shrugged.

   -“Jacaerys!” The door swung open, startling you. “My dear,” Jacaerys dramatically said. “What burdens you?” You turned around pointing at the laces in the back of the corset, his hands took hold of them before pulling on them, tightening the hard material against your back. “Like this?” He took a step back to look at you properly. “Yes, Jace. Thank you”. He lifted his finger, signing you to turn around for him. The skirt twirled delicately, the slit on it letting the lace stoking be seen.

  He fixed the sleeves a bit before stopping you, “All done?” Jace questioned while running his hand through his hair. “Yes…” You stared at him before something clicked, “Where’s your mask?”

  -“On my desk, silly. You think I'm going out like this? Nuh-uh!”

  Jacaerys walked out of the room to go search for said mask, you turned to the vanity behind you, before grabbing the mascara on it. By the time he came back, you were applying glitter on your eyelids. Jace tapped your shoulder, showing the mask before offering you his arm, you happily wrapped your arm around his and closed the door of your room.

  When you made your way to the main door, Vermax suddenly appeared with your Mary Janes in his mouth. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow before patting his head softly.

  Jace was waiting outside, he was already in the car listening to Evanescence. You locked the main door, pulling on it to make sure it was in fact locked. Jace saw you over the car and opened the door of the passenger side.

  When you sat and noticed that he was playing Fallen, your right eyebrow raised in confusion.

  He looked at you and shook his head, “No, you're not playing the song by Nightwish”.

  -“Jace!”

For those who don't know what the hell Yenny is, it's an important library here in Argentina c: (And no, I'm not from here, I'm venezuelan)

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 10th October

Ah, and it's the Crickets! Or Buddy Holly and the Crickets? I'm not 100% what the convention is, when crediting them, to be honest. Either way, they're here, and with an absolute banger that feels like a pattern for rock and pop music for years to come.

That'll Be The Day - The Crickets (peaked at Number 1)

I may be wrong, but this seems to be the song that kept last week's Tammy off the top chart spot. Which... yeah, correct call, good job, everybody! There are number 1 songs that I question, but this really isn't one of them - it's such a breath of fresh air, and immediately has me tapping my foot along with the Crickets.

There's something kind of prototypical about it, the way that these four (honestly pretty dweeby-looking) guys have slimmed the rock and roll band down to the bare essentials of singer, lead guitar, bass guitar, drums. Add some backing vocals, and you've got a streamlined set-up that basically remains the pop/rock standard nowadays, with keyboard as an optional extra. Rock and roll, up until now, has been dominated by brassy sounds, horns and sax, and it feels like a bold move, stepping away from all that to concentrate on four guys and their guitars.

It's a song written by Buddy Holly, apparently after he saw the The Searchers at his local cinema. Inspired by John Wayne's character saying the title line, he went and wrote a song - but initially his record company had him singing it with a completely different band, the Three Tunes. It only became a hit in this version, though, and you can see why - everyone involved's really giving it their all, here.

We start with this short but iconic guitar lick. It's been imitated since, and it's super recognisable, even if you don't think you know the song. It's a great example of something simple but effective - it sets up the tone of the song, then launches us straight in, no need to mess around.

We start with the chorus, and it's a chorus that repeats loads throughout the song, so by the end of it, you know the refrain pretty well: That'll be the day, when you say goodbye / Yes, that'll be the day, when you make me cry / You say you're gonna leave, you know it's a lie / 'Cause that'll be the day when I die. It's beautifully harmonised by the Crickets, with this simple shuffle-y guitar and drum pattern underneath it, nothing fancy. It all works very well.

The more I think about the lyrics, the less I'm sure that they work, on a literal level. The intention's fairly clear: Buddy's love keeps saying they're going to leave him, but he doesn't really believe they mean it, or that they're going to break his heart. But should I interpret the lyric about the day when I die as a statement of confidence ("My love will stay faithful until death do us part") or as something a bit more sinister ("Well, if my love actually leaves me, I might just keel over and die")?

On an unrelated but also confusing note, what's he trying to get at with the line about how you give me all your lovin' and your turtle dovin' / All your hugs and kisses, and your money, too? I get that all these things are meant to be proof that Buddy's love really does love him and won't leave him, but adding money to the list just sounds like he's admitting to being their sugar baby, or something? Or at least taking money off them. There's something a little unintentionally creepy about it, a sort of vaguely toxic, manipulative "well, you give me all your money, so you can't leave me now" vibe. Which I'm almost certain isn't the intention here, but still.

These are nitpicks, and honestly, you don't really notice them when you listen to the song, because it's all just so appealingly packaged. Buddy's voice has this really distinctive hiccup to it, and a way of tripping of small words like "well" until they almost sound more like "well-ah". He leans into notes where he needs to, then hangs back when he needs to, and he occasionally dips into this lower register, without it sounding fake or silly. It's pretty great.

The song's also well structured so that it feels like it isn't just repeating itself - the chorus does repeat a lot, but you've also got moments where the backing singers drop out dramatically for a line, you've got a solo to break things up, and you've got the final verse shaking up the rhythms with this syncopated "when you make me cry" line, all punctuated by drum beats - the latter's probably my second favourite part of the song, after th eintro. It's just enough that the track feels like it goes somewhere, keeping your interest through to the end.

The solo's also just good - we get some proper guitar noodling, but in the middle there's also this deeper, chuggier bitthat kind of sounds like the blues rock that starts coming through later on, in the 1960s. It's a riff that's been hinted at under the surface throughout the track, but that really comes to the fore in the solo, and I love it! Third best part of the song?

I also enjoy the ending. There's a good solid "that'll be the day that I die" that Buddy could have ended on, but instead he chooses to repeat a line a few times, the track fading out to a relaxed, that'll be the day, ooh hoo and a little guitar flourish to match the one at the start. It's a confident move, giving up the big, resounding ending for something more laid-back, reflecting Buddy's confidence throughout the rest of the song. He sounds chill, you know - channelling some of that John Wayne coolness, perhaps?

I really like this song. I liked it before I got to it, and I still really like it. It's got a garage rock feel, almost, a little bit less slick and more "four kids messing around on guitars". Which is a template that we're going to be seeing a lot more of, in future. And it's just so well made! Well worth a listen.

Favourite song of the deceptively nerdy-looking bunch: That'll Be the Day

[coffee---bean]

two tables go on a date pt. 5

hello,

a little update on my thoughts about the artwork!

so, i think what i'm dealing with in this artwork is the idea of the real and the fake. when i present it, i'm probably gonna show this very impressive whatever thing, and then say:

"hi, please ignore this. (point to the tables) this is the actual work of art"

that makes me think about what counts as the actual artwork. what is "actual art", what isn't? obviously i can only really answer for myself. i guess i consider some DRAKE songs to be art, and i consider some to be... i'm not sure what the word is. less? art?

this is an interesting example, for me. this song is track 18 on the album VIEWS, i think. it's a song that no-one really cares about, or talks about. if any song was gonna be a song that is just kind of a throwaway, it's this song. and it's a pretty low-key beat, the performance and lyrics by DRAKE aren't particularly impressive. in reviews, reviewers don't even really mention the song.

i love this song so deeply. i don't really know, but the chords are so melancholy, the drums and bass are skittering - a strange mix of introversion and extraversion, the rhythm is so steady and romantic. perfect slow-dancing. i love how the song evolves in tiny mutations, tiny little breaks and builds in tension, tiny releases. it's a song that really doesn't work at all on speakers, it's gotta be headphones, i think. maybe it'd work on speakers if the sound is loud, but it's such a quiet song...

there's some perfect lyrics in this song, to me, also. really, every lyric. i might need to go through the entire song.

They throwin' dirt on my old name Only gets worse when you know things You don't see the perks of this whole thing But you get real on a pill and I like it

i kind of interpret this as being him talking about knowledge and talking being scary and dark. i run away from the complicated parts of life. it's hard to exist, nothing is simple. there's a simplicity in the relationship he describes. i love the way he just says - "i like it" - it's just so simple and earnest and romantic. it's shy and it's brave.

You just like my sidekick, I just wanna ride, fulfill all your desires Keep you in the front, never in the back and never on the side

there's so much devotion in these lyrics. there's so much honesty, assuming he's being honest. i do assume that, when i listen, maybe because i want it to be true. when i'm in love, i kind of just want to stare into someone's eyes forever.

You a real ass woman and I like it I don't wanna fight it

i don't wanna fight it either, drake,,,

Tell me should I cut these other girls right out of my life? 'Cause we never decided, tell me how you feel inside

there's an interesting tension here, but i actually really like the fact that this relationship is still in flux. still evolving, still morphing. they clearly communicate but they haven't settled anywhere. i genuinely feel like that all the time. they just want to know what's happening right now. there's a beautiful something there.

Yeah-yeah, I figure out you, you figure out me We both a different breed I'm followin' your lead, I ask you what you need You say, "A guarantee" I mean, you say that like it's easy

i love the line about us figuring one another out. i love the line about following their lead, i love the idea of inspiring one another and following one another.

there's a lot of tension, the moment a "guarantee" is brought up. i love the fact that DRAKE expresses his limits, his inability to be simple. because no one is simple, things aren't simple. i love that this love song is so devoted and still nuanced and complicated. it makes the simple feel complicated, and the complicated feel simple, and points out that the dichotomy or binary isn't really a thing.

You never believe me Told you I got Zs for these other girls sleepin' on 'em Girl, I'm sleepy Sometimes I'm so indecisive

there's more tension, more break-down in communication, in trust. i love the fact that DRAKE has a line talking about how he's sleepy. i just think that's really cute.

But you a real ass woman and I like it I don't wanna fight it

and we end with the same dedication. the same uncertainty, the same infatuation, the same respect, the same contradictory emotions. and the idea of being "tired" - tired of fighting. conflict. i know the feeling. i don't think there is freedom from that conflict, necessarily. i'm not really sure.

i think this song captures the idea of "two tables go on a date" perfectly. in it's simplest and most devoted moments. but it also muddies the water with the complicated. maybe that's what i should try to capture in the other work of art. and "two tables" is contradictory as well, but it's silently that way. it's resolved. i think the other one should be unresolved.

maybe that's the idea. it's not fake or real, it's resolved and unresolved. and the unresolved one is like a forest. something that grows and changes constantly, never having an ending because nothing has an ending. and "two tables" is exactly the same, but it's so simple and easy to pour your heart into and empty it. again, the binary feels so silly and non-existant. what is the other part? what is the explanation?

[finelinevogue]

could you do some angsty smut please??

oh hell yeah we can. this is going to be 70srockstar!harry with roadie!y/n eekkkk! okay have fun;

Being the girlfriend of the most famous, golden boy rockstar was the craziest rollercoaster you’d ever ride.

For the past 6 months you’ve been touring with the one and only Harry Styles, living your life between helping on tour, drinking endless amounts of wine and smoking a hell of a lot of weed. The job had come past you at the perfect moment. Your dad happened to be best friends with the tour manager, Jeff Azoff, who’d spoken of their being a job opening for a roadie. You were employed to help set up the musical equipment and test out the instruments before the act went on at night, falling in love for the man you roadied for was just an add on. A beautiful bonus.

It was a lot more pressure being Harry’s girlfriend than people thought though. There was so much pressure to act a certain way and present yourself another way. Harry was so idolised and craved by millions and it put pressure on you to be a certain person for him. You loved him so much and you were so scared that he might one day realise that there was so much better than you - at least in your eyes. Someone extroverted. Someone musically talented. Someone who wasn’t a virgin.

Harry had never pressured you into anything sexual unless you were ready. Of course he was notorious for being an above star rating, when it came fo sex - thanks to all the articles published by the many men and women, sometimes both together, he had slept with. The sex reputation went hand-in-hand with his rock-n-roll aesthetic, so that part of him would never change. You’d only been with Harry for 4 of those 6 months, managing to fall for him very quickly, so you wondered just how he was coping without having had sex for that long. He usually had a different person each night to take backstage after his concert to play with how he wanted, hence how he built his reputation, but since you there had been no one.

Sex was such a big thing for Harry though, so you couldn’t help but feel like you were letting him down.

Currently, you were sat on his bed on the tour bus reading an article that had been published about your boyfriend last week. Your heart strings tugged as you read one section of the interview.

Interviewer: The new album, tell me about it.

Harry: It’s coming on slowly yeah. Just want this one to be perfect so, taking my time.

Interviewer: What would you say your biggest inspiration is for writing?

Harry: Changed on every project, to be honest man. Sometimes it’s about past relationships. Sometimes it’s about issues i’m going through. A lot of the time it’s about sex!

Interviewer: Yeah, dude, I have noticed that like every other song is about sex. Is that something you’re quite open about?

Harry: I think sex can be either something so beautiful or so passionate. Don’t believe in sad sex! But, um, yeah i’m always really honest lyrically when it comes to the songs about sex and I hope others see it as that too.

Interviewer: No it definitely does! Thanks Harry for your time and, um, keep on having sex so that third album breaks even more records!

Harry: Will do man!

It was easy to understand why you were upset. Harry’s biggest inspiration wasn’t possible for this album, because you were too nervous to let him have you. All of you. You felt a burden, as if you were holding him back from living his life and creating something so amazing. His past two albums had been such hits for songs such as ‘She’ and ‘Only Angel’, which were inspired by the intimate times with past lovers. There would only be sad songs if he wrote an album without any spice.

That’s why as soon as Harry came back on the bus, dressed in shorts and a shirt that was unbuttoned to see his toned chest, you jumped him and kissed him like your life depended on him. He was taken back by surprise, but welcomed your lips nevertheless.

Pulling back he mumbled some words against your lips, “Well this is a nice welcome back gift.” He chuckled at the eagerness of your lips and let his hands roam over your body - from your neck to your waist and over your ass. This man knew what he was doing.

“Harry?” You whispered, stopping your kiss and looking at his beautiful swollen red lips. He was a sight for sore eyes.

“Yeah baby?” He kept himself close to you and you could feel the stiffie that he’d developed pressing against your front.

“Can we… I’m.. If you…”

“What baby? Can tell me anything, y’know that.”

“Wanna have sex with you.” You told him the most simple virgin way ever, your face heating up when you saw him smirking down at you. You’d screwed yourself over here and were getting all shy and embarrassed about it.

“Hey, no. Don’t hide from me,” He drew your face back to his and kept his eyes on yours to provide you some familiar comfort, “you sure?”

“Mhm, yes.” You nodded affirmatively.

“It might hurt a little, okay? First time means that your cute little pussy is going to be really tight. Don’t even know whether you’ll be able to take me.” He taunted you, cupping his hands to your cheeks and brushing his thumbs carefully over your skin to ease your tension.

“I w-will.” You moused out, wanting to be this person for him.

“‘Course you can. You’re my best girl and I know you’ll fit perfectly for me, yeah?” He rhetorically asked pushing you back to the bed and letting you flop there. You watched him as he discarded his clothes, following his lead, until you were both naked in front of each other. You’d been this far before, but this time it felt different. It felt more lustful and exposed and nerve-wracking.

Harry bent down and started to kiss you from your belly upwards, leaving kisses everywhere until he reached your jaw where he bit more than he kisses. He loved seeing his marks being left behind on your skin, proving to everyone that you were his and his alone. His hands found comfort ins kneading and squeezing your breasts like dough, loving the way they were so soft and yet so hard beneath his warm hands. As he found your lips and divulged in your sweet tastes, you slunk your hand down and grabbed ahold of his cock, pumping him a few times to get him primed. You felt the trickles of pre-cum drip from his tip and it only excited you even more.

Taking your lead, Harry pushed one of his hands in between your bodies and started playing with your wet cunt, paying extra attention to your needy clit. He knew you loved it when his fingers got rough, so that’s exactly how he played. His tongue was battling against yours, whilst you both stimulated pleasure to one another. The wet and beautiful sounds filled the room, heightening your arousal - Harry could feel it too, his fingers becoming wetter with every circle and pump of his fingers.

“You ready, baby?” He asked carefully, plucking his lips away from yours with a wet sounding smack. You already looked fucked out and he had barely done anything to you yet.

“Y-yes.” You stumbled, so excited yet so nervous. You were finally going to give Harry what he had been missing for so long and you were also going to let yourself go, and divulge in something new and potentially life-changing.

He leant back and rubbed his own cock for a few strokes, before lining the tip of it with your opening. He teased your entrance, making you bite your lip in anticipation. He smiled down at you and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ without any sounds leaving his lips, before you did the same. The head of his cock started to push in, but you didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.

“Shit fuck, y’so tight baby. Need you to relax for me, okay?” He asked, pulling away so he could watch your body relax. You closed your eyes and took a deep breathe, reminding yourself that the best way to relax is not to think about the problem itself but oh how you’d feel when the problem’s fixed. You smiled and once Harry could see your shoulders un-tense, he, once again, pushed his cock into your opening. He hissed at the contact, obviously finding it so pleasurable even if it was only minimal contact, but you, you felt so much pain and soreness from absolutely nothing.

You couldn’t do this.

“It should just…” Harry tried a different angle, but your smile had disappeared and your whole range of emotions had resumed to flat and disappointed in yourself. “Maybe if I just..” Harry tried to hold your legs a little wider and guide his cock more firmly into your opening, but each time he couldn’t push past a certain point without your body rejecting him or your facial expressions telling him he should stop.

“St-stop Harry please.” You cried, bringing your hands up to cover your face as you let the tears flow freely. “Please stop.”

“O-okay. Just gonna…” And he slid out as much as he’d managed to get in, which was probably less than an inch. It hurt when he pulled away and your cunt felt like it was on fire. It stung and it didn’t feel right. You felt like a failure and an embarrassment.

You cried into your arms, letting harsh sobs take over your body. You chest felt tight and your eyes stung worse than your cunt did. God, you couldn’t even do one thing for him. You were the reason why he was having a hard time writing at the moment. You were the reason people would be disappointed to hear no sex inspired songs on the album. He might even have to use past experiences as inspiration, which made your heart curl with jealousy. You didn’t feel like you were enough for him, like you would ever be enough for him.

“I’m so sorry Harry,” You sat up from the bed, not wanting to look at him and his disappointed expression as he stay knelt on the bed - cock looking painfully hard still. You scrambled for your t-shirt and your joggers and then walked out of the room, across the bus’ narrow corridor, and into the bathroom.

You looked at yourself in then mirror and were disappointed at what, or who, you saw. Looking back at you was the person who couldn’t even have sex. You couldn’t give Harry what he deserved. You were a failure and it was stamped all over your body. You cried as you looked at yourself, until you couldn’t and you just slid down the wall and onto the floor. You wished for the Earth to just swallow you whole. You couldn’t stand being here when you were clearly broken and useless.

Harry would surely leave you for this. Why would he want to stay with someone who couldn’t even get their boyfriends dick in their pussy? Couldn’t give each other that pleasure? Harry had so many people in the past and surely with you gone he’d have so many people in the future. It would be selfish of you to stay. Harry had needs you completely appreciated that, but it would be just so difficult to let him go when he means so much to you.

There was a quiet knock at the door, which broke you from your cries and self-deprecating. “Y/N? Baby honey? Can I come in, please?”

“S-sorry. Yes of c-course.” You stood up quickly, thinking that he was wanting to be let in to go to the toilet or to have a cold shower go get rid of the hard-on that you’d put there. Too bad you couldn’t have taken it away.

You unlocked the door and shuffled past him, only for him to stop you. He shut the bathroom door behind him, leaving you both infinitely pressed together in the pathway on the bus. He had you pressed you up against the side of the wall and kept his arms at either side of you.

“Sweets—”

“Harry, please don’t say anything. I-I know what you’re thinking and—”

“Yeah? And what am I thinking?” He asked, not moving away from you. You held your cries the best you could and took a deep breathe to continue.

“I’m a disappointment. I-I i’m not good enough. I’m broken.” You choked out, knocking your head back against the wall from frustration.

“Stop it.” Harry ordered firmly, gripping your cheeks in his hands and forcing you to look at him. The look in his eyes was so hard to read, but he looked desperate and worried and hurt. You hated to think that you were the cause of any of those emotions. “Just stop.” Harry’s own eyes were starting to fill with tears too and you brought your own hand up to catch a few of them before they could fall.

“Don’t cry, please.” You begged, keeping your hand pressed to his cheek which he absolutely adored. He loved the feeling of your skin against his. He never wanted to not have it.

“Then don’t say things that hurt me, okay? Hearing you say those things about yourself absolutely breaks m’heart flower. Just because you were a bit too tight to take me today does not mean that you’re a disappointment or you’re a failure or that you’re not good enough. It hurts to think that you’d ever think I would think that, because - fuck -,” Harry pressed his forehead tight against yours and fanned his lips lips over yours. His closeness was everything. “I love you so much it scares me. My feelings for you are so strong and so real. I want your forever and something as trivial as sex is never going to make me want otherwise. Do you get that?”

“B-but the album?” You asked.

“What about the album?”

“I-in the recent magazine interview you said that sex is your biggest i-inspiration. I can’t be that for you.”

“Is that what this is all about? Because you think that my album isn’t coming together because i’m not having sex? Did you miss the part where I said I wanted this one to be perfect and I was taking m’time with it?”

“No.”

“Well I did say that, because it’s for you baby. The whole thing is going to be for you. Every melody. Every lyric. Every song. Just and all for you.” Both of you were silently crying now, absorbed in each others love and adoration for one another.

“I-I didn’t know.”

“Now you do. This album isn’t really for the charts or the awards. It’s for you, m’heart. I love you for a lot more than your body and its’ pleasures.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, taking all his words in and realising how irrationally you’d acted out afterwards.

“For what, sweetheart?”

“For even thinking that you’d be so shallow and cold-hearted.”

“You didn’t think that though, baby. I know you and so I know you didn’t. Your thoughts were based around your own insecurities, not to do with your small-thinking over me.” He explained to you, making you nod and kick your lips.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Well then we don’t deserve each other.”

“But i’ll keep you forever if you’d let me.”

“Looks like we’re together forever then, baby honey.”

[spaceorphan18]

What’s your opinion of Blaine’s crush on Sam, and whether Against all Odds was for him?

Hi Nonny!

So, I'm not going to post the link you sent me - unlike with the Brittana meta that was written by someone who had clearly moved on and wasn't tumbling any longer - I think that person is still very active, so I'd prefer rather than be reactionary just talk about my own thoughts.

I'll be honest, I've never understood all the hoopla around Against All Odds. When Blaine performed the song on the show, during that moment, the song was clearly about his feelings for Sam that he wasn't sure how to deal with.

So. Here's my thing...

Because I think the problem is that fandom has this tendency to look at things in black and white and while Glee wasn't exactly a beacon of literary and artistic genius, I do think it operated on a variety of layers, and sometimes I think people missed little nuances, subtextual meanings, and the greater context of something.

I will be getting to this, eventually, in my musical retrospective - but the thing is, the song doesn't have to be about one thing -- as well as having different meanings when set within different contexts.

Breaking Blaine down a little -- he's a rather emotional guy. He feels his emotions deeply and intensely, and lives in the moment with them. Of course - his feelings for Kurt were very deep and meaningful and real. But he also built a lot of his personality around trying to be something (namely best bf ever) he couldn't even live up to for himself. And then the relationship ended, and he was left feeling without an identity -- who was he if he wasn't Kurt's boyfriend?

And then, Sam came along - who is a relatively attractive guy anyway, and helped Blaine figure out that he could be a full person without needing to attach himself to someone else. So - yes, Blaine's crush does form out of an attraction, but also because Sam was a friend who gave him emotional support that he had only really been getting from Kurt up until that point and -- like Tina says a few episodes earlier -- a lot Blaine's tendency to latch on to someone and have feelings for someone transferred to Sam.

I'd also like to remind everyone that Blaine is a teenager -- even if Darren Criss was well into his mid-to-late twenties at that point. Teenagers are raging balls of hormones that tend to swing from one intense feeling to the next - and don't always make sense. So, I think it's a little unfair to say that Blaine couldn't have strong feelings about Sam -- even if they were relatively fleeting (and they were) and even if he knew they weren't going to go anywhere (they weren't - and one reason Blaine allows himself to crush on Sam is that it's a safe crush, where he won't really get hurt by it).

So, with all of that context set up - let's talk about the song...

Does Blaine like Phil Collins? I'm sure he honestly does. And I'm sure that this song, no matter who it's about (and it doesn't have to be about anyone) is one that he probably really enjoys.

Yes - there's a layer of this song that is about Kurt. I'm sure that Blaine thought about (or listened to) this song a lot when Kurt first dumped him. Blaine has a lot of regrets, and a lot of remorse about how things went down. A lot of the lyrics about not wanting the person to leave... wanting the person to turn around and see him cry... yes, that's about Kurt, and that's about the pain he cause in the break up.

And yes -- there's a part of Blaine who feels that Kurt was the only one who knew him. And yes, Blaine feels like getting Kurt again is against all odds.

But the thing is, at this point in the season - Blaine and Kurt are on their way back to each other. This song doesn't have the sharp meaning for Kurt anymore. That pain is not only dull - but recovering, so I don't think the song's sentiment holds as much weight as when he was probably singing it to himself a few months earlier.

I should also add that I don't think the particular performance that Blaine sings on the show - the one that (and I'll get to it in a minute) is about Sam erases the fact that there is sentiment about Kurt here. Just as I don't think that having an actual friendship with Sam, finding Sam attractive, and having a deep bond with Sam takes away from any feelings Blaine is having about Kurt.

But here's the thing -- when Blaine sings this on the show -- it /is/ about Sam. Is it a bit melodramatically about Sam? Yes - because I don't think Blaine's feelings for Sam are as intense or deep as they were (are) for Kurt. But in this moment - Blaine's feelings are about to come out, and he's feeling very intensely about them - as he's worried that those attraction feelings might cancel out the very real friendship bond that he's created with Sam. And Blaine (being a teenager) is still trying to figure all that out.

So, in relation to the song again, Blaine had felt unseen with Kurt. He had felt unseen by the rest of his classmates - but Sam decided to be his friend and Sam decided to help him through his issues. Blaine let Sam see a bit of him that isn't the performer who tries to showcase his best self to please others -- but that other, darker side that isn't so pretty. And Sam liked him anyway. /That's/ why the song resonates with feelings for Sam now than it does for Kurt.

As per the song - Blaine has felt like an empty vessel for so long, unsure of himself, and Sam sees him as a person of potential and as a person worthy of being cared about - and both of those things are huge with Blaine. So that line - you're the only one who really knew me? Yeah, is about Sam. Because that's what Blaine is feeling - at this moment.

Also, the second chance part of it -- the against all odds sentiment -- is about the fact that Blaine knows that Sam's a straight guy, who is never going to like him in a sexual way. And the fact that he's afraid that if Sam did know Blaine felt those things - Sam would reject him, and he fears the loss of Sam's friendship far more than the loss of him as a potential romantic partner.

Does the song fit perfectly? No - it really doesn't. And I stand by the fact that this song was originally a song Blaine felt for Kurt that he's now transferring over to express his feelings for Sam. But it doesn't have to be a perfect fit? A song's tone and ambience can be enough to express your feelings. There doesn't need to be a one-to-one lining up for something to be relevant.

And... I should add, it's clear by the way the filmed the scene that Blaine was singing this in regards to his feelings for Sam.

Anyway... long winded answer short, songs can take on different meanings and sentiments when placed in different contexts. I don't think this song should be taken as literally as a lot of people take it. It's ultimately about a teenager feeling things really intensely wanting to express that -- the lyrics are nonconsequential at the end things, to be honest.

But I digress...