#to be honest i get really angry when im sketching these things

[muscariii]

Part 3, let's go.

(part 1 , part 2)

Ayyy sorry for the huge delay but I finally did it. Well, kind of. Because like I mentioned in that shitpost, I made 14 pages actually. But I'm splitting it because it'll be better that way. So I just gotta finish the rest and yeah. Fun :3

I may have overexaggerated Caius but this was kind of influenced by my first impression of him during my first playthrough.

Rasha isn't very happy about the situation she's currently in. She's currently kind of grumpy about everything but she's going to get more fun soon. I think!!

I'll try to get the rest of the pages done as fast as I can!! And then more and more hopefully. Hope you guys enjoy at least because I'm worried this will be boring.

[rrxnjun]

portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun

pairing: huang renjun x fem! reader genre: college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst. warnings: swearing, alcohol, angry man renjun, very bad dialogue, this is the most un-renjun fic i've ever written, dry humping, a heavy makeout session, unfinished blowjob word count: 5.8k playlist: no specific one this time but i listened to a lot of keshi while writing this, so have this playlist of mine to fit the vibes a/n: inspired by that one tweet describing how someone's art professor met his wife the same exact way, lost the screenshot and also the og post im so sorry!

turns out all it takes to save a life is a bad, bad college party, a few shots and a weird, magical coincidence back in a girl's dorm room.

It’s hard to believe that Huang Renjun is currently finishing up the art portfolio he needs for his summer internship program after procrastinating and angrily stomping at every single bad stroke of his paintbrush for the last few months.

Because he’s not.

He’s looking at the canvas with stern eyes, the smudges on the white linen so messy he could cry just by looking at them, and the more he tries to save the disgrace currently scribbled in front of him, the worse it gets and makes the levels of frustration in him turn into rage and fury, because let’s be honest– what is Renjun’s primary emotion if not anger. 

And he tries hard to fix it again, he really does– he sighs heavily while doing so as he takes a smaller brush and tries to paint on a few hairstrokes to the portrait of Frida Kahlo he wants to execute– and in honest reality, it doesn’t even look half as bad as it does in the poor boy’s eyes when he takes a step back after holding in his breath and carefully piercing together the artwork. Maybe if there was someone else in the room– everyone but his annoying roommate Donghyuck, because that fucker always manages to make things even worse– they could talk him out of it, offer some words of consolidation, even, hype him up and tell him that with outsider’s eyes, the canvas looks beautiful and very well put together. But the truth is that there’s no one present right now, not a single soul in what feels like the whole campus right now, that could ease Huang Renjun’s frustration from what seems to be art block, when he throws the paintbrush to the wall (he’ll worry about the stain of acrylic paint later, when he gains consciousness) and puts a fist through the middle of the painting.

If he was a character in a comic book, his hand would go through the canvas and create a quite satisfying hole. He’s a real person, though– a weak one as well, to be quite honest– and his fist is stopped by the stretched-out fabric, making his hand bounce back, but now stained with all shades of brown and tan, which somehow only makes him even more mad and turns him into a furious animal roaming around free and causing uttermost chaos in his all true sense.

Nothing can stop Huang Renjun when he opens the drawer he keeps all his artwork in, taking out all the graphite sketches and colored pencil drawings, and then the next one containing the watercolor paintings and various other acrylic paintings done on expensive sheets of paper, stacking all of those onto one pile in the middle of the table. Not one thing is safe– except from the digital artworks he keeps in his iPad and his big A4 sketchbook he forgot about in the heat of the moment, since he keeps it on his nightstand– when he takes the big, heavy stack of art and runs, chimes towards the entrance of his and Donghyuck’s miniature dorm room, luck only standing by his side once in this whole evening when his said roommate opens the door and clears the way for him, looking at the poor boy with mouth agape in a slight shock.

“What the fuck are you doing right n–”

Donghyuck doesn’t get an answer. When he asks stupid questions, Renjun doesn’t tend to pay him much mind, settling on not engaging with the discourse if it doesn’t make much sense, so Hyuck should be used to the ignorance– he thinks this was a very valid question to ask at this moment, though. If he was curious enough, he’d even follow his roommate down the hall and watch him in his endeavors only to find out what’s the intention behind his angry stomping and the fierce look on his face. The truth is, though, he doesn’t care all that much.

That doesn’t stop Huang Renjun, though, as he chimes down the hall of the boy’s dormitory, kicks the glass door open (thankfully not the actual glass part, because that would for sure be expensive) and practically runs the rest of the way towards the bins at the end of the street, dumping the papers into the bin (forgive him for not recycling in his current state of mind) before he angrily kicks the poor object twice for good measure and turns on his heel, slowly, but still as angrily making his way back to his dorm room by stomping all the way up until the entrance.

The dorm guard doesn’t even ask for his dorm ID like he usually does– Renjun must have been quite memorable as he ran out of the building with 5kg of artwork of various sizes in his arms– but the truth is, the man isn’t as old and he saw the boy going out just a few minutes ago, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary. Renjun would appreciate the memo, although, when he remembers that the man always asks for the dorm ID, especially on the nights out when he comes back slightly intoxicated and too disoriented to look for the little slip of paper in his pockets, and on the nights when he forgets his dorm ID as well– the man was set on letting him sleep on the front porch of the dormitory once and it took Renjun 15 calls to get ahold of a sleeping Donghyuck and another 15 of him walking down the hall in slippers and pajama bottoms with his roommate’s dorm ID in hand before he could warm his bones from the cold slowly seeping into his bones on the January night– and that whole thing makes Renjun somehow even more angry at the whole situation.

And so when he comes into his room again, Donghyuck now sitting on his bed still in his outside clothes (something Renjun hates and would murder for), and his eyes land on the damaged canvas still waiting for him in the corner of the room, he wastes no time in opening his window and throwing it down from the second floor, not really caring where it ends up or if he’s gonna get a fine for violating one of the dormitory rules– to never throw stuff out of the windows..

“Dude, what is–”

“Don’t ask.” Renjun huffs as he closes the door and peels his clothes off, taking a towel that’s still hanging from the top bunk of their bed and aims towards the bathroom door. A true tantrum can only end in a cold shower, and that’s what Renjun’s gonna do as he washes his dreams down the drain and ends up silently crying himself to sleep tonight in agony.

It’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party since the days of ‘megaparties’ of Johnny Suh, the senior that’s slowly halting his party performance due to stilling in life. Renjun was dragged to Lee Jeno’s party by his roommate Donghyuck after he mourned in his bed for approximately two days before it got too much for the poor gemini, promising and honestly thinking that alcohol is truly the best solution for the poor boy’s misery. Again, it’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party of the year when he listens to the loud EDM music piercing through his eardrums and he swears he catches a glimpse of a couple dry humping on the couch.

Because he’s not.

He’s at a college party, sure. He’s also getting some alcohol into his system– because why not, am I right? He’s not the one paying, and that’s always enough of a reason to drink. Is it the best college party he’s ever experienced, though? Absolutely not.

It’s quite literally the worst party he’s ever been to. The music is too loud and the whole house smells of cheap vodka, people are pushing each other around and with the amount of alcohol in his system, the whole room feels like he’s on a boat, his stomach weak and his eyes hazy. Renjun must admit Hyuck’s therapy skills are kind of paying off– because at least now he’s not thinking about the wasted opportunity of a summer scholarship and is instead looking into the eyes of his cute classmate from History class across the room– but at the same time, he’s not thinking much of anything in this moment, and the glint of your eyes is the only thing he can focus on when you get closer.

That might be a good or a bad thing– depends on how the encounter goes. There’s a fine line between the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to get rid of his usual shyness and speak to other, much more attractive human species, and the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to black out and puke on the floor, efficiently making it impossible for him to chat up the cute classmate he’s been eyeing the whole semester and ruining his chances of ever being seen in a good light in front of the said person ever again. He prays intensely that he hasn’t crossed the line yet when you open your mouth and speak to him in the crowded kitchen.

“Renjun!”

“Y/N!” he tries to mimic your tone, a flashy grin settling onto his face when you approach him first. You two aren’t strangers, after all– you’ve sat together in class during various exams and also accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, but what were your courageous attempts in making conversation with him and efficiently trying to make him more interested in you didn’t lead to your desired goal of getting invited out by him, instead leading him to think you’re just that friendly to everyone and not just him, making the chances of him taking the next step that much slimmer. Not tonight, though– he really must have had too much to drink.

“How are you?” you ask, clearing your throat as you bump into someone and decide to shift closer to Renjun, making the boy’s breathing hitch in his throat.

“Wonderful,” he gasps, and for some reason, the response laced in irony makes an excited laugh escape your throat, and the more he listens to your bubbly giggle, the more he wishes he did music instead of fine arts, because maybe if he was competent enough, he could mimic the sound in one of his songs and replay it over and over even when you’re not around. 

“That sounds very genuine,” you note, which makes the boy laugh in return, making him wonder if maybe he could have the same effect on you– if you’re smiling wider now because of the sound of his laughter, or if you’re just amused at something completely else. 

It’s pathetic, really– the gloomy boy that was trailing to this party behind his roommate Donghyuck is nowhere to be seen now, instead replaced by the cheap imitation of a ray of sunshine that you brought out of him only with the magic of a few words and the few drops of alcohol on his tongue.

“Oh, trust me, it was genuine,” he teases, and you only nod to his attempt at masking his obviously saddened composure from before.

“Having a rough week?” you ask, and you sound truly interested– something Renjun hasn’t found in the tone of his roommate when he insisted on dragging him here– and maybe that’s the reason why he just shrugs and decides to come clean and be honest with you. You seem like that kind of person that wouldn’t make fun of his troubles, the kind of person that would genuinely want to help– although he’s not seeking counseling tonight, he figures he can talk a bit about his shitty mood if it means that it gets the conversation flowing.

“A rough life, actually,” he snickers before he sees you eye him with a concerned look, “just joking,” he adds before he retracks back and fixes his initial answer. “Some things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, so I’m kind of moping around for a bit.”

You seem to feel empathetic towards the boy, nodding and pouting at his confession. “Well, I hope things get fixed for you, Jun,” you mumble, tone of voice encouraging– and maybe he could dwell at the caring nature of you a little longer, only if it wasn’t for your use of a nickname for him that just oh so sweetly rolls of your tongue and Renjun wishes he could legally change his name to the nickname so he could listen to the way it sounds forever– scratch that, to the way it sounds from your mouth forever, which means he won’t change it, just so it’s reserved for you and only you to say.

“What about you, though?” he finds himself asking in the midst of his inner screeching.

“Me? I’m great, totally fine, having the time of my life,” you emphasize, the over-the-top expression on your face making the boy burst into laughter as you wave your arms around as if to show him your surroundings. “I am a party person for sure, you know, so this is perfect,” you joke, and Renjun seems to get the memo. If he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever seen you at a party before– not that he goes to many himself, which might honestly be the reason, actually– you could just be at different parties in different times that hadn’t overlaid, but by the way you’re currently tensely sipping at the alcohol in your hand, he figures you’re not too familiar with the scene of college partying.

“Who forced you to go? Was it your roommate?” Renjun remembers the girl from another one of his classes– you two were always walking around together and often got to class at the same time. Figuring out that you two lived together wasn’t as difficult, and she surely seems to be the more extroverted one.

“No, actually,” you say, eyes glimmering when he seems to remember the girl you share a room with, “to my surprise, honestly. It was another one of my friends– Na Jaemin, not sure if you know him– but the moment we got here, he disappeared and left me alone to deal with my thoughts,” you click your tongue and Renjun finds himself totally mesmerized with you– amazed with everything about you; the way you talk, the way you lean on the counter and watch him with stars in your eyes (which might just be the reflections of the kitchen lights, but don’t tell him that), the way you slightly lean into him when he cracks a joke and earns a laugh out of you…

“They always do that,” Renjun scowls, “they drag the introvert in and then force them to survive on their own…” he shakes his head in disappointment, clearly distraught over the situation. 

“Exactly! But if you ask them to come with you to a picnic, or to the library, they decline the offer. So much for being good friends,” you roll your eyes. Renjun finds himself smiling, and although he must admit that as every other college student, he himself would decline an invitation to a library if anyone asked, he’s like 99% certain that if it was you uttering out the question, he wouldn’t miss a heartbeat before joyfully jogging there with you. 

“Ask me next time,” he blurts out, a poor attempt at flirting, “I wouldn’t say no.”

And it seems like tonight is the night where you suddenly get the last kick of courage needed when you talk to Renjun– maybe fueled by his coy smile when he said the previous comment, maybe just acting out on pure hormones– tonight's the night where he breathlessly takes your offer, still not thinking much of it, but igniting a curious spark in his own heart nonetheless, when you scratch the back of your neck in the last residue of anxiety, scrunching your nose at him and mumbling under your nose, barely heard above the loud music resonating through the living room. “Do you wanna sneak into my dorm room, then?” 

Renjun almost chokes at your question– visitors in the dormitory are only allowed until midnight and as far as he’s aware, the clock is well after 2 AM right now, and he’s a male visitor, which is even more off the bounds in the eyes of the fierce woman guarding the entrance of the girl’s dormitory building. The more he stares at you, the more you seem to translate his silence into disagreement, which you panically try to undo with even more rambling. “I- I mean, since we both kind of hate this party and I think that if I drink more, I’m going to puke all over myself, so… My room is on the ground floor, so you can just climb in, if you wanted to. My roommate went home for the weekend, so there’s no one there, and we could– I mean, we don’t have to, honestly, but it’s kinda cold out and I thought we could both use a place more silent, ‘cause I really wanna head back now, but I don’t want to stop talking to you, y’know, and I don’t know if–”

“Okay, I’m down,” Renjun nods, efficiently shutting up your rambling, and when there’s a very apparent relief flashing over your face, he finds himself smiling in endearance at your antics, going as far as ruffling a hand through your hair in whatever kick the alcohol mixed with adrenaline gave him before you have him dragging his feet out of the house, both of your feet shuffling towards the campus.

The walk isn’t long, but he finds himself enjoying it. The condensation coming out of your mouths at the chilly weather serves more to the atmosphere when the both of you giggle out at absurd jokes and gossip, your voice breaking into soft hums when you sing a song under your breath in moments of silence that somehow feel both kind of awkward, but also kind of pleasant. He drags you by your hand to the other side of the sidewalk when a car passes by and you jump in surprise, eyes wide and glossy, mouth a little agape in an open-mouthed grin when his fingers stay intertwined with yours and you adjust your purse on your other shoulder, clearing your throat before you try to nonchalantly continue on with the conversation.

“I’ll go inside now,” you announce when you get to the girl’s dormitory building, breaking apart from the eager boy and coming closer to him when you confide the secret, “I’ll turn the light on in my room when I get there, so make sure to look out for the window. I’ll help you in, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and before he has a chance to reply, you disappear behind the glass door with a pep in your step. 

Renjun finds himself sighing– now is the moment when he should realistically get relief, the moment when he’s supposed to relax for at least a second and prepare himself for whatever might happen in your dorm room– but when he slowly walks over to the left wing of the building and squints at the dark squares of windows, he wonders how in the hell he’s gonna climb in. Escaping out will be an easy task– the windows aren’t that high up– but coming in will be the problem. He guesses it’s the same with the whole situation– he bets the easiest part of the whole evening will be jumping out and running to his own room– how to survive the night in your presence and not go completely insane, he doesn’t know and wishes he had a manual to before he agreed to do this in the first place.

When the light goes on in one of the rooms and you wave at him from the inside, he finds himself involuntarily jogging towards the window, gears in his brain turning faster than the speed of light when he reaches the wall and you grin at him, opening the window and offering him your hand. 

“If you grip the edge of the window and give me your hand, you can get in easily,” you say, watching as the boy cautiously looks around himself and scratches the back of his neck, mentally calculating his next movements.

“Have you done this before?”

“No,” you bashfully shake your head, “but my roommate did it twice, so I don’t think it’s that hard,” you note and nod at him, waiting for him to finally take action. 

Renjun finds himself doing what he’s been told– and even though he huffs and almost falls over to his back (which would kill him, he thinks, since his physique is very close to a turtle’s), victory fills his veins when one of his legs finally ends up in your window, his body stumbling forward and almost toppling you over when the warmth of your room welcomes him as he lands on top of your desk. 

“Welcome,” you laugh at him when he shakes his head in disbelief and takes off his coat, dropping it on top of the wooden table and watching you close the window behind him, so the cold doesn’t get in. 

“That’s one way of inviting guests over, I guess,” he teases you, watching as you roll your eyes at him and go over to one of the beds. Renjun notices the room is different to the one he shares with Donghyuck– you and your roommate have two beds instead of a bunk one, the table is right under the window and you get a little more space over-all. You turn on the little lamp kept on your bedside table, and the boy watches you with interest as you cautiously walk around your own room as if it’s your first time seeing it, reminding him a little of a deer in the headlights, clueless and suddenly out of ideas.

Renjun finds himself laughing at your behavior– he finds himself endeared by it, the way you play with your fingers in nerves and try to think of anything to do in the intimacy that suddenly envelopes you when you invite someone over to your dorm room in the middle of the night– and when you aimlessly end up standing in front of him, your big eyes even bigger and glossier than before, he snickers at the state of you and shakes his head.

“Okay, so I know I was the one who invited you over, but now I’m kind of helpless in what we should actually do and all…” you giggle, a little embarrassed when you bear your eyes into his, your body subconsciously slotted in between his legs, his position leaning on the edge of the table allowing you and inviting you to do so. 

“You’re cute,” he laughs at you, and before you have a chance to question him about the compliment, he has you silenced abruptly by his next actions.

“What do you–”

His hand is gripping your jaw and he leans into you, the newly found courage and affection towards you having him drunk on more than the alcohol, but also your whole presence– the way your hair smells when he’s this close to you, the way you pull the sleeves of your sweater further down when you don’t know what to do with your hands, the shyness in your gaze now that you have him in your cage– and his lips act on themselves when they press themselves against yours, soft but firm, tasting the strawberry juice mixed with vodka off your mouth, a surprised gasp against his lips more than enough to invite him even further in.

He feels your fingers tugging at his shirt and your skin growing hot under his touch, leaning back from you a little and finding you looking at him with a thousand different galaxies in your eyes, enough of a confirmation to him, but he’s a man– he still needs it vocally, when he grins lazily at you. “Was this one of the things you thought about when you invited me over?”

“Maybe…” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, a clearly battled grin trying to settle its way onto your lips.

“You should’ve just said so, then,” he smiles when he leans into you again, a little more confidently this time and kisses you again, again and again.

You stay under the window for a while, lips pressed hard against each other as you try to learn the curves of each other’s mouths by memory, lazy hands threaded into his hair and an arm around your waist now, steadying you in place. Foreheads pressed against each other when you break away for air, giggles resonating through the room when his lips make their way towards your neck and the softness of his hair tickles your skin, fingers threaded when you tug him towards your bed and you watch him kick his shoes off before you follow him onto the soft mattress.

His head falls into your pillow and you straddle his lap, your hair falling into your face when you look down at him from your position, the newly found dominance in your position charging you with unexplainable energy, and Renjun can’t help but smile at you sweetly when your eyes meet and you eagerly lean down towards him, fingers once again intertwined with his, hands laying next to his head. Your breath fans his swollen lips that you once again find yourself attacking, the contact overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Who knows how long the both of you have wanted to do this but never had the courage to– it’s a miracle that it’s even happening tonight.

And with the built-up desire, you act instinctively– hands breaking away from his when you grip his cheeks and give him one last peck, lips now traveling down his jaw and neck instead, having the boy shivering under the contact, your actions slowly but surely driving him crazy when you find his sweet spot and you get a satisfied gasp from him, a reward for your tonight’s efforts.

His hand grips your hip, and something about the burn of his fingers even through the fabric of your jeans makes you move on instinct, earning yourself a sharper hiss this time that doesn’t make you stop, however– quite the opposite, actually– as you break into a wide grin at the very evident effect you have on him, your movements slow and painful, but still having him harden under you.

Goosebumps appear all over your skin when his cold fingers capture the skin of your stomach when he aimlessly tries to find a place in your body to ground yourself, but the more he answers to your movements, the more encouraged you get. He tugs you back down so you’re facing him, which does nothing to halt your painful pace as he drags out yet another kiss from you. 

“If we don’t stop now, it’s gonna be really hard for me to do so later,” Renjun huffs into your ear, which only gets you more excited.

“Who said I want to stop?” you ask him, fingers trailing up his side over his shirt, yet still making him fire up and flush in his cheeks. “Do you want to stop?”

“Do I look like I wanna stop?” he snickers, shaking his head in utter disbelief, hand traveling dangerously close to the cup of your breast.

“Let’s continue, then,” you muse, peeling yourself off him only the slightest amount, hands dragging themselves down his body until you reach the waistband of his pants, gently dragging the fabric down until he’s left in front of you only with a tent in his underwear, big eyes curiously and breathlessly watching you in your actions. He could be a gentleman and tell you you don’t have to, tell you to stop and come back up and that he will pleasure you first, but the more he watches you as you palm him over the thin fabric of his boxer briefs with the dangerous doe eyes of yours, the less he wants to do just that. In all reality– who is he to deny a blowjob from you? Or anyone, for that matter?

His whole body shudders under your touch, actions careful, but so painfully satisfying. Renjun watches your face with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, the reality of it all sobering him up and making him aware of each shift of your body, each centimeter your fingertip travels against his skin, each motion that slowly makes a bundle of nerves appear in his stomach. It only gets too much for him when you lean on your elbows, nails gently pricking the skin of his thighs as your mouth hesitantly greets his dick, and he feels like a virgin again when his eyes peel off you just in case he finishes just by watching you blowing him off like a highschooler at his first blowjob, forcing himself to watch the ceiling instead.

Eyes traveling all over your room– the closed window opposite of him, the bed on the other side of the room, the walls above your bed– he gets lost in the galaxy drawn on a piece of paper that’s plastered right above your pillowcase, and another graphite sketch of eyes bearing right into your soul, as if they were watching him in the act, and another one, of a deer that looks through the shade of the trees, before it hits him.

“Oh my god what the fuck–” he gasps, and his tone must have sounded too different to the satisfied moans that have been spilling out of his mouth up until now, because you abruptly stop your movements and your gazes lock, your eyes completely mortified.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

“Oh– Oh god no, fuck, you’re doing amazing, trust me,” apologies spill off his tongue at your distressed state, “it’s just– where… where did you get these?” he asks, pointing towards all the drawings taped all over your walls that he failed to notice in the heat of the moment before.

“Oh,” you cluelessly hum, eyebrows furrowed, “I found them spilling out of a trashcan close to the boy’s dorms when I was walking to class one morning, and they were so pretty I had to take them.”

“I– you like these?” Renjun asks, full of strange surprise and genuine curiosity. You’re now sitting back on your heels and looking at the boy with big eyes, still slightly clueless and very much in a weird state of distress– because why would a man ask you about the random artwork on your wall in the middle of a mindblowing blowjob?– before you nod with a slight pout, agreeing.

“Well, I wouldn’t have decorated my room with them if I didn’t like them, y’know… Why are you… why are you asking?”

“Oh,” Renjun repeats again, a dumbfounded look taking over his soft features before he sits up on the bed and scoots closer to you, a weird sense of euphoria spilling out every vein of his body when the held-back dopamine is released into his system. A wide grin appears on his lips before he stares into your eyes with a milky way mirroring behind his eyeballs, glittering orbs haphazardly gliding over your face before he reaches your lips again, pecking them one, two, three times before you break away and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, a slight crease right in between them.

“What are you–”

“I think I’m gonna literally cum just at hearing those words, Y/N,” he blurbs out before he kisses the tip of your nose again, completely endeared and close to a happy boy under the Christmas tree, and while you may enjoy that look on him, you’re still slightly confused. Huang Renjun sighs almost a little too dreamingly and smooths the wrinkle between your eyebrows with a careful swipe of his thumb, still not giving you any explanation.

“Renjun, I’m afraid I’m not quite following why this is so important to you right now,” you mumble, having your partner laugh airly– just as if all his worries escaped through the window and you fixed his life with a few drawings plastered on your wall.

“Those, dear Y/N,” he points towards the papers stuck to your walls, eyeing the specific one he worked for 3 hours on and kind of mourned the morning after he realized he threw it away, months of practice and art that maybe wasn’t even that bad in the first place ending up in the trash because of a fit of rage, “are all mine. Mine as in, I drew them… And then threw them out in the middle of a slight mental breakdown.”

You look at him for a few heartbeats, eye contact never breaking before you avert your gaze towards the artwork on the walls– it takes you a few seconds before it hits you– and you gasp, hurriedly looking back at the artist in front of you, stars glimmering in your eyes now as well, matching his excitement. “Oh my god, are you for real?”

“Yeah.”

“You drew all of these?”

“Yeah,” he nods again, breathless.

“This is an insane coincidence,” you snicker, and Renjun didn’t know he had it in him– maybe it’s still the effect of alcohol that slips off his tongue when he speaks– but he cages you in his arms as he kisses you again, a whole new world appearing in front of him when the cheesiness meets the comfort of your walls.

“You’d call this a coincidence?” he hums. “Maybe it was fate.”

Earning himself a sharp laugh, almost mocking him as you swat his shoulder, you fall back with him towards the mattress, and while the heated moment might be gone, you don’t mind at all. Renjun looks at you with a certain softness in his eyes, a pride swelling in his chest, and for a moment, it’s true and you truly did open up a new reality for him and changed his life forever, fixed all of his problems, if you will, because the appreciation it takes for a girl to tape up at least 20 of his messy artworks onto her wall after finding the stash in the trashcan on her way to class might just be the encouragement he needed to keep going with the craft. 

It’s hard to believe that this shitty party actually brought him somewhere– not only to your bed, but also to your life, to a beginning of something new and a restart in something he thought he’d forever be giving up on.

“So… Do you need those back? Because I kinda like them here,” you giggle, and the crinkle of his eyes is enough of an answer to you.

“You can keep them. I’ll just draw new ones you can look at,” he muses, stealing another kiss from you and squeezing your hip, having you squeal against his mouth.

“Now, to get back to what we were doing before–”

[local-apollo-kid]

Shadow 3-07 Thoughts! :D

So I'm about to lore dump. Buckle in for the ride if you're gonna read this.

General Information

3-07's real name is Alex Griffith, born in Australia. Their family is of Welsh origin, but they are quite disconnected from the culture as it is far back in the family tree.

They are roughly 5'9" and have (very obviously dyed) red hair. They have hazel eyes and slightly tan skin but are still pretty pale.

LORE

Just little things I've had about them in my notes app

1.

They have had several crappy relationships. They would have given the world for those people but they never got treated right. Their were no affection in the relationships. Alex was just for the props of having a 'girlfriend'. They have trust issues because of this, afraid the next time them date someone, they'll leave them because they aren't 'cool' anymore.

2.

They really like building and inventing things. They made this cool type of harmless fire that they use to cauterise wounds when they work.

3.

They always like having heart to heart talks with the people they trust. Even then, it's hard to be honest, so they just work and work until it spills out eventually

4.

The place they had their first kiss was an airport after their first mission with Shadow Company. They got so excited to see their childhood best friend that they kissed them out of impulse. They dated for a little while but eneded it on good terms and are still friends.

5.

Alex smokes. They don't do it very often because of lung health and stuff, but if they need time away, they go to the roof of the base and have a cigarette. Sometimes, someone joins them. Once Graves even joined them.

6.

They adore thunderstorms. Whenever they hear the pitter patter of rain starting, they race up to the roof and get soaked before trudging back down and having a hot shower. It refreshing.

7.

Their callsign is Reaper. The Shadows nicknamed them this because they're a medic and are 'in close relations with the Grim Reaper'... and definitely not because they are absolutely feral when fighting.

8.

The Shadows have made (Don't Fear) The Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult Alex's theme song.

9.

They know French. Not because they need to or anything. They just find it funny to break out randomly into angry French.

10.

They have a wall in their room just covered in about $200 worth of polaroids of the Shadows and them.

11.

During the time Shadow Comapny worked with Ghost & Soap, them and Soap hit it off and started babbling to each other about stupid things at, like, the speed of light cause... ADHD. They mainly talked about sketching and journaling.

12.

They weren't there when the massacre at Las Almas/Alone mission happened. They only know that something happened and they can't talk to Soap or Ghost anymore because they're enemies.

13.

They've broken so many bones omg. Leg, arm, collarbone, fingers. SO MANY

14.

IM ENÐING IT HERE BECAUSE GOD KNOWS ID GO ON A RANT FOR, LIKE, 1000 WORDS ABOUT ALEX.

Their parents weren't very... present. They took care of their 2 siblings from a young age and almost cry if anyone jokingly calls them a mama's boy when they talk about the (few) fond memories they have of their mother.

15.

They have been struck by lighting. I will not elaborate.

[risingsunresistance]

Phil doesn't really know why he came back to Pogtopia. Maybe with Wilbur being back, he wanted to really educate himself on what his son had been up to all these years. Finally find out where he'd been.

Finally figure out where it all went wrong.

Regardless, there was something that drew him back to the cramped, musty ravine, and it certainly wasn't the atmosphere. Despite all the jokes Techno might make about his age, pawing through dusty old artifacts of a bygone age wasn't exactly Phil's idea of fun.

Especially not when the air still reeked of suffering.

His son's suffering.

But Phil had to know. He needed to know what his fatal flaw was, what he missed, what was hidden from him. What led up to that horrid moment in front of a wooden button. Wilbur might not have wanted him to know, but it was his job, his responsibility as a father to be there for him.

Especially since he failed the first time around.

Currently, he was sifting through crumpled scraps of paper in a cramped back room of the cavern, not quite sure what he was looking for. The pieces of history ranged from legal documents, to angry pencil sketches, to even a few half-baked music notes, a song forever left unfinished. It was only when Phil was about to give up his search, go find something better to do with his time, that he found it.

A balled-up piece of parchment with his own name on it.

With shaking hands, Phil delicately unfolded the page, heart thumping in his chest. The ink was faded, the paper worn, and watermarked blots dotted the writing, as if it had been caught in the rain. No, the droplets were too dispersed for that. It's more like...

... like someone was crying.

hey philza. im sorry i got so distant. im sorry i pushed you away. ive never been good at telling people what i want. i hope youre okay. i miss you. - wilbur

Heart in his throat, Phil took a shaky breath. Wilbur's handwriting was unmistakable; this was a letter from his son. A letter addressed to him. A letter never sent, a letter more honest than Phil could even remember his son ever being.

How had they fallen so far? How had Phil let things get this bad? Why hadn't Wilbur reached out to him? Would he have even come if he did? What did he do wrong? What ifs and how comes raced through the immortal's head, the thoughts his only company as he clutched the paper to his chest, kneeling in an empty cave, holding the last remnants of his son, his boy.

How familiar.

How very heartbreaking.

(i'm no good at art but i CAN write here's my horrible contribution to this idea <3 -flappies anon)

ALL OF THIS. THIS INCREDIBLE PIECE OF WRITING. JUST FOR A HEY WILBUR JOKE

[anne-white-star]

Brian may x reader : finding real love

Notes: reader is a dress maker for people of high status in London she even makes dresses for queen Victoria herself. one day brian may and his fiance come in to get her a dress for a upcoming ball. Unfortanetly brian isnt in a very loving relationship with his soon to be wife for she's very controling and some times straight up mean and abusive. They are in an aranged mariage. Reader and brian fall in love.       

(Late) Victorian au (1880s no exact year). Catherine Green is a random name i chose for the wife. I hope you guys enjoy reading.

Warnings : a bit of angst abuse

Words : 2829

Late victorian era, London

In the center of London was a small shop but not just any shop, it was a dress shop called y/l/n Splendour Dress and co.

It wasn't a verry big establisment but it was really special, for even queen victoria herself had comissioned dresses here, only the people of high sosity could afort these dresses.

A carriage pulled up infront of the shop, a few seconds later the bell went of to sigal someone has entered, a man and a woman walked in.

The man was pretty tall and had dark curly hair he also wore a suit (he doesn't wear a hat) the man was very handsome. The woman had blond hair and wore a elegant hat her green eyes were fierce and angry while the man his eyes were hazel and kind.

A woman came from the back about (your age) and stood behind the counter "good afternoon sir and madam how can i help you?"

"I would Like to comission a dress for my fiance"

"Alright any thing spesific, a tea gown, an walking suit, or a day dress

The woman cut her off with an angry tone "no nothing like that im here to comission a ball gown"

"Now calm down Catherine, im verry sorry about that"

"Oh don't worry its alright sir"

"May Brian may and Catherine Green"

"Ah alright mr may and missed Green" please do follow me so that i can sketch some ideas out and so that we could chose the fabric"

"Lead the way madam"

They came across an other woman in the hall "Oh Alice could you perhaps boil some water so that we can have some tea?"

"Yes of course y/n it be ready in a few"

"Thank you after you are done you can take a break" they walked further and came to a room "please do sit down , first we can chose the fabric then we can sketch a design"

"I want my dress to be red and black they are my favorite colors" she smirked

"My darling are you sure of that i mean its a ball after al you it would be beter if - " Brian was caught of

"No absolutly not i want my dress to be red and black" she folded her arms

"Alright darling as you wish"

"I want the black fabric to be made of embroyderd silk and the red fabric made of cotton."

"With or without a train madam"

"Without"

"alright, anything els?"

"Yes i want black lace on the sleeves and red little bows made of silk there as wel"

"Alright madam, is it good that we decide up on a design of the dress now?"

"Yes go ahead"

"About the bodice and the sleeves what lengt would you like them?"

"Im sorry to interupt but here is the tea"

"Ah thank you Alice, you may go take a break now" Alice walked out the room again and closed the door "where were we? Ah yes the bodice and sleeves"

"I want the sleeves at elbow lenght and the bodice low so that it shows off my figure"

"Ah Alright, what about the skirt?"

"I want the under skirt to be a flounced underskirt and the under side of the dress to be made of the red fabric with silk ribons, at the front of the dress i want black lace going down. And the over skirt i want that to be the same fabric as the bodice."

"Alright madam" y/n looked at the sketch in front of her "is this what you have in mind?"

"Yes a hundred precent "

"Alright madam i wil ask my employees to look for the fabrics we would need"

Mr may who had been listening and drinking his tea the whole time spoke up "how long will it take to make?"

About 3 months sir if everything goes as planned"

"Wonderfull you hear that darling"

"Oh yes fantastic, make sure the dress is done by then because in 3 months there will be a ball at Buckingham palace and i want to look absolutly perfect"

"Yes of course miss we will try to get it finished by then"

"Good, thil next time" Catherine stood up And walked out the room

Brian did as well and held out his hand to y/n "Thank you so mutch for your time miss y/n, please you must excuse my fiance for being so rude"

"Its alright mr may no problem at al, tell me is your relationship a aranged one?"

"Unfortanetly yes, within a year we are to get Married unless i find somone i love"

"I hope you find the right person mr may"

"I hope so to, again thank you very mutch" he grabed y/n her hand and kissed it

"My plesure mr may, i hope you have a wonderfull afternoon"

"May we meet again" he smiled and

walked out the room

*little time skip*

Y/n was looking For the fabrics she Would need " Um Alice do you have any idea where the black embroyderd silk is?"

"Yes its on the top shelf next to the purple silks "

"Thanks, oh could you grab te maroon/red coton and a flounced underskirt/petticoat as wel"

"Yeah sure who is this oder for?"

"For miss Catherine Green"

"Oh i reconise her she has come in a few times to comission dresses her sizes are noted in our book, she's truly terrible she had 3 husbands already and now she's going to get Married to that poor sir may"

"Yeah i don't think they are a good couple eiter, both are from high socity what is sir may his feeld?"

"Hes an astrophysicist of the royal court of queen victoria"

"Oh wow so hes one of the highest in that feeld how extraordinary"

"Hes smart and not looking bad eiter"

"Yeah , i really feel sorry for him.... we need to get started the dress needs to be done in 3 months"

"Are you going to the ball to y/n?"

"I don't know i mean"

"You are also of high status because you make dresses for her royal highness, you deserve to go"

"You think so?"

"I know so, but first lets get started with making misses Green her dress first"

"Alright"

*time skip to 3 months later because im lazy*

The day for the fitting came y/n and Alice hoped everything went as planned.

"Good morning sir may and miss Green"

"Good morning miss y/l/n" he took her hand and kissed it

Miss green sighed "Is my dress ready?"

"Yes its ready please do follow me to the fitting room"

"I know where it is"

"Alright miss, i'll be there in a minute"

Mr may stood next to y/n "Im so sorry about the way she acts i talked with her about it but she won't lissen"

"Its fine mr may"

"Please call me Brian its my name after all"

"Alright wel then you can call me y/n.... tell me do you love her?"

"Who? Catherine? If i could be honest with you y/n then no absolutly not"

"Are you considering breaking off the arrangement?"

"If i find the right person then yes of course"

"I really hope you do you deserve better brian"

"Thanks you y/n"

"Y/n?" Came the voice of Alice

"Yes comming!, follow me brian" both of them walked in to the fitting room "miss Green how does it fit?"

"I want the corset to be tighter"

Y/n walked behind the curtains"Are you sure miss it already looks tight enough"

"No i want it tighter"

"As you wish miss" y/n undid the lace of the corset and tugged as hard as she could "i hope this is better"

"Perfect now is Brian here?"

"Yes"

"Good, oh Brian dear what do you think" Catherine stept from behind the curtain snowing her ball gown

"what do you think?"

"I think it fits you perfectly dear"

"I take it" she went back behind the curtain to get changed again

"How mutch does it cost?"

"About a 150 pounds"

Brian grabed his wallet and drew the right amount "here you go"

"Thank you" y/n stuffed the money in her apron.

"Will you also go to the ball?"

"I would love to but unfortanetly i have work there are many dresses that have to be made"

"I can take over for you with Mary, y/n" said Alice as she was sewing some beads on to a evening coat

"Alright i will try and see, when is it?"

"About 2 weeks from now"

"I will try to make it" she smiled softly

Brian grabed her hand softly and kissed it "thill then my lady"

"Thill then"

*skip to the day of the ball*

"Have you decided what to wear?"

"No, i simply din't have the time to make anything" she sat down and sadly siged

"Oh cheer up, wait i remember something, we have some dresses that wern't colected mabey there is something in there for you"

"oh yeah thats true lets look" she stood up And walked in to the far back where a closet stood with the said dresses, she opend it up And looked at them , "i don't remember making these"

"I think your parents had been working on these last year they are pretty mutch still up to date"

"For who were these?"

"If i remember corectly these were ment for a baroness, but she and her

husband got killed before they could collect them"

"These are absolutly wonderfull "

"It should be about your size lets fit them"

So y/n did that and grabed al the dresses and tried them on, everything was exactly her size

She decided to go with dress number (insert number here) "i see that some things got lose we still have time"

Yes we do now come on we need to prepare"

About a few hours later the dress has been looked at, Alice had put y/n her hair up in a fancy evening style and added some hair accessoires.

"so how do i look?"

"Like a real princes oh before you forget these come with the dress" she held out a box y/n opend it inside were a pair of earings a necklace and tiara and a fancy hand fan

"Oh these are wonderfull" she put the necklace around her neck and put the earings in

"These were also met for the baroness" Alice placed the tiara on her head "you have to leave now a carriage is waiting"

"Alright, are you sure you can manage?"

"Don't worry to mutch it be alright me and Mary can manage just fine

"Alright" y/n put her evening coat on and picked up the train of her dress "its going to be late"

"I know dear now go and have a lovely evening"

"I will thank you for the help"y/n walked out of the back door trought the garden out of the gate, she climed in the cariage and sat down. The cariage went on its way to the palace. About 30 minuts later she arived and stept out die left her coat in the carriage. Y/n walked inside the palace up to the grand staircase to the ball room.

Music could already be heared when she walked up the staircase and once she arived the music was mutch louder.

Once y/n stept in to the ballroom a lot of people looked at her wondering who this beautyfull woman was dressed in fine fabrics and jewels.

"Miss y/l/n is that you oh how wonderfull to see you here you look extraordinary"

Y/n turned around at the mention of her name "sir Mercury its so great to see you, wearing my wonderfull suit i see" she smiled

"Oh yes its absolutly wonderfull my dear " he kissed her on the cheek "tell me why are you here?"

"Wel sir may had invited me to come along"

"Ah i see, if i remember corectly he was talking with sir taylor near the table overthere"

"Thank you"

"I have to go now my dear sir deacon needs my assistance"

Y/n smiled at him and walked to the table where sir may was indeed talking to sir taylor. Next to sir may stood miss Green, the was clinging to his arm. He looked a bit anoyed. "Sir may"

brian turned around "ah miss y/l/n so great to see you" he shook off Catherine and walked to her and softly grabed her hand "sir taylor this is y/n y/l/n the seamstress, she makes fabouls dresses, coats, shoes and suits"

"Nice to meet you miss" he said in a flirting tone, sir taylor grabed her gloved hand and put a kiss on it

"Like wise sir taylor" she smiled softly and put her hand to the side. Y/n could feel somone glaring at her when she turned around and came face to face with Catherine. " Is everything alright miss Green? "

"Yes everything is perfectly fine miss y/l/n" she said with an snarky tone.

Y/n looked down at the ground, sir taylor ofered her his hand "would you like to dance miss"

She looked up "Of course" she grabed his hand and they both walked on to the ball room floor

"You know i don't like her either"

"Who?"

"Miss green, sir may deserves better" said Roger while they both danced across the floor.

"Yes he does, they arnt the perfect fit for echoter Brian deserves somone who's kind"

"Someone like you"

"Why me?"

"The way you carry yourself very eligant yet kind and soft spoken, he really deserves you miss y/l/n". As the dance ended they both bowed to echoter and walked to the side where Brian stood alone drinking his wine

"Brian, you should dance with miss y/l/n I bet she will Enjoy your company while i go looking For my fiance"

"Alright Roger thank you," Brian held his arm out "care to dance?"

"Yes of course" she smiled and they both walked on to the ball room floor again. When they were done with the dance they walked to the doors "brian can we please go outside for a bit i need to talk to you"

"Yes of course" they walked in to the garden and dat down on a bench

"Look its probably not my place but you really should break of the arrangement Brian"

"Why?"

"She really doesn't deserve you brian she doesn't love you she will make you feel misereble"

"You are right but i can't break it off unles i found somone ells"

"Wel i know somone who would love you for ever and always"

"Who would that be?" He looked at her with a questionble look on his face

"What about me? Do you think we would be a good fit?"

"Perhaps if its really what you want"

"Im asking you brian, its important that you find somone who will help with continuing the family line"

"Yeah you are right" he sighed and put his face in his hands, his shoulders started to shake as he softly cried while you sat beside him

"Brian i really want to help you trough this"

"Y/n Im torn between an arrangement and real love" he looked up at her while the tears runed down his cheeks.

She softly whiped the tears away with her gloved hand and then placed it on his cheek "you have two choices Brian follow your heart"

"I choose real love" he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips "i love you y/n y/l/n"

"BRIAN WHAT IS THIS!!??" They both turned around to an angry Catherine running at them, they both stood up And Brian stood in between y/n and Catherine.

"Im breaking off the arrangement"

"You can't do that you have no right"

"I do because i am the hire of the family titel and you are not this is oficialy over"

She looked from Brian to y/n " You did this you took him from me!"

"No she din't i simply took love instead of money thats all"

"You know what i never ever wanted to be yours Anyway you are not good enough for me i don't know what my father saw in you" she walked away with a big huff

"Im so sorry about that"

"Its alright im not blaming you"

"I ment what i said, i really love you" he huged her close and gave her a kiss on the forehead

"I love you to"

They both went back inside to tell sir Mercury, taylor and deacon the good news about their arangement

Brian and y/n found love in eatch other and lived a long and happy life together

The end

I hope you guys enjoyed reading please let me know what you think 😊 I put a lot of time and efort in to this plus a lot of late nights so please concider rebloging if you like the story

Have a Nice day everyone♥️

Greatings from Anne

[axelkai]

welcome aboard, AXEL NICKOLAI BRAXTON, student #1. we are excited to set sail with you ! has anyone told you that you look like jeremy allen white? according to our records, you hail from new york, usa, he/his, are male, and are here to study digital art. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your money — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + fun loving, + social, but also - impulsive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the sandbar. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a sketch book brought from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hello, buds, this is Lella, 23y, she/her, gmt-3. this is my new baby and i’m prob going to take a while before start fixing the theme. a basic nav is already up, though. under the read more you’ll see more info about him. im stilll working in his bio though, as I manage his family/bg story so it will be fitting! 

[[ BASIC INFO ]]

Nickname(s): Ax, Kai (friends), Nick (family).

Age: 25

Date of Birth: -

Orientation: he swears he is straight but he is actually homoflexible

Language(s) Spoken: english, spanish

[[ PHYSICAL ]]

Height: 1,71m / 5′7′’

Weight: 80kg / 176lbs

Faceclaim: Jeremy Allen White

Hair color: dark blonde

Eye color: blue

Tattoos: an eagle on his chest, an anchor on the left side of his neck +

[[ PATTERNS  ]]

Drug Use: marijuana counts?

Alcohol Use: not a weekend goes by without a drink.

Dreams: to have an art gallery of his own.

Fears: feeling trapped +

Hobbies: painting, drawing, cooking (though few know about this last one).

Habits: swearing, drinking coffee while working, hugging a pillow while sleeping, keeping wardrobe neat, having a irregular sleep schedule, driving waaaay too fast, falling asleep while watching tv, bullying people, being a destructive mess when pushed 

[[ PERSONALITY ]]

Positive Traits: fun loving, social, imaginative, adventurous, generous, romantic, caring

Negative Traits: impulsive, quick tempered, stubborn, rude +

MBTI: enfp - the campaiger                        78%  extroverted / introverted 22%                          62% intuitive / observant 38%                              48% thinking / feeling 52%                            29% judging / prospecting 71%                            51% assertive / turbulent 49% 

Enneagram: the enthusiast.

Temperament: sanguine

Moral Alignment: true neutral

Primary Vice: wrath

Primary Virtue: diligence

Element: fire w a few traits of water

[[ BIO / sketch ]] 

at school, Kai was not the best student; he never got interested in regular school subjects. would often skip classes and get in trouble, argue with a teacher he disagreed with, fight students he found annoying; his parents would get so frustrated every time they had to show up to meetings. 

not the brightest one; but not that he wasn’t smart, he just wasn’t compromised with whatever he didn’t feel interested in. on the other hand, he was good at skating and drawing. and his maquettes were the best of his classes.

eventually, after a particularly aggressive episode, when they placed him to meet a school’s counselor, they initially found it to be a disaster; he’d curse and bite the counselor, utterly angry because people thought they knew what was best for him— adults were not understanding.

but, you see, eventually, after some bribery with candy and cool games, he grew to put up with it. and, he would never admit it, but after letting the counselor a little bit in, here and then, he'd hear useful things that made his daily life way easier. 

as a teenager, Kai was better at controlling his aggressiveness. turned out that he was just really bad at handling frustration. but, well, if his aggressive impulses weren't that much of a problem anymore........ his partying days grew to be. getting out late, getting home early in the morning.

Kai would get home high or drunk every weekend, and his parents certainly weren't fond of it. though, as a playful kid, he'd get his way around their disappointment. not that he wouldn't feel bad at the way he just couldn't meet their expectations, he was only human after all.

he was still underage when he started making money out of his drawings and painting — and, well, eventually, even digital art. his parents got less worried about his future at seeing the money coming in. Kai didn't initially have big ambitions, professional or academic, but if he kept going he had a professional area he could make money from.

he got away from home at the age of 18; even though his parents were sort of caring ones, their frustrated expectations over his academic lack of interest were discouraging to deal with. he got himself into a cheap apartment, but near some friends of his, and got away just fine with life.

[...]

everything was cool until he figured his party buddy Cass would try and join ss. and so would his sister. he decided to tag along.... not with any intention with getting grades higher than mediocre, just to know more about the world and live this crazy experience. to be honest, he never thought he’d actually be draw in that online lottery thing....

some connection ideas while i dont get my wc list ready:

- someone that axel has bullied or bullies

- someone (female) he is currently dating (be aware tho that he is a closeted guy)

- someone for him to be a bad influence on

- someone to be a good influence on him

- partners in crime 

- party buddies

- an artist he admires the work of 

- someone that admires his work

[inkdemonapologist]

Okay but I do actually want to know both the things you love and the things you could rant about from DCTL?

OH BOY UHHHHHH okay lets see, I'm gonna see if I can do the "add a readmore after you post it" thing and see if that'll keep it stable.......

But also, much like Sammy, I am incapable of shutting up unless you strike me in the head with a blunt object, so uh, forgive my wordiness:

THINGS I ENJOY:

- DCTL gave us Sammy's ink addiction and like, if you had asked me before all this "what would you most like to see in a franchise?" I would not have answered "one of the characters drinks ink accidentally and then discovers that he can't stop" but boy that sure is my favourite concept that I LOVE to see handled literally any other way than how the book handled it!!!

- I like what it added to Tom and Allison and Norman!! Like, it's not big twists on their characters or anything -- we already knew Tom felt he was doing the wrong thing, so getting to see his CRUSHING GUILT over creating the machine isn't New Information, but it's nice to see and understand more of him; for all of them I feel a lot more attached to them after getting to see more of them as people.

- Like 90% of the "I LOVE IT" category for me is how the book handled Joey, and Buddy's relationship with Joey. The way Joey isn't a Sinister Mastermind Who’s Just Screwing With Everyone but just manipulative in a more mundane way -- someone who thinks of himself as just the guy with the vision to call the shots; he wants what he wants and this is how he's learned to get it; he exploits people not through devious schemes, but just by offering them something that they want or need and asking too much in return, expecting their loyalty for his favours. And the way he interacts with Buddy, making Buddy complicit with him and keeping Buddy off-balance and insecure while making him a favourite and treating him as Special is just PERFECT --  gives a lot of content to kind of extrapolate off of when pondering what must've drawn the others in and convinced them to ignore the red flags. I was initially frustrated with the idea of Buddy not being an artist and jUST DECIDING TO LEARN TO ANIMATE ON THE SPOT ("I've never done this before but I'm sure I can just do an artist's job" is a weirdly common throwaway thing in media and as an artist iTS A PET PEEVE) but actually the way they use his plagiarism to make him trapped in a lie in ways Joey doesn't even realise ends up being a neat echo of other employees (coughTOMcough), who were involved in much graver sins but suddenly felt they couldn't object or they'd lose their one chance, just like Buddy. There's a lot here that I think is really great.

OKAY THATS THE GOOD STUFF, LET'S COMPLAIN ABOUT SAMMY:

- Uncomfortable Bigotry Vagueness that we all knew was gonna be in this list -- I dunno man, a guy committing a microaggression and getting startled and defensive when he's called out for it doesn't necessarily completely ruin his character I GUESS, but the way this was handled is just SO WEIRD AND VAGUE that it's uncomfortable and it doesn't seem to serve any real purpose. "Is Tom black?" is a question I actually have to ask because the text sort of implies he is while also dancing around it and apparently Word of God said he's not??? which makes Buddy's comment nonsensical???? And I mean, you could go that route, since Buddy wonders to himself if Sammy talks to everyone like this -- HE ACTUALLY DOES!! Even within the text of the novel, he uses "Joey" instead of Mr. Drew, which is consistent with his audiologs in the game -- but that makes the writing suggest "this character THINKS this guy might be racist but actually they're reading too much into it and it wasn't racially motivated at all, he's just a jerk!!" wHICH IS SOMEHOW EVEN MORE ICKY??? Anyway like yeah I guess it's not inconsistent with his character that while Sammy Lawrence may not have any specific grudge against minorities he has probably not checked his privilege or done the work to challenge his own internal biases, but “Your Fav Probably Contributes To Systemic Racism In Ways He Hasn’t Considered, As Do We All When Our Assumptions Go Unchecked” is still a wild thing to wade through in a fun story about demonic cartoons

- but yknow so is T H E   H O L O C A U S T

- Sammy's voice is wrong. I'm actually okay with him being a weird awkward asshole, I already kind of assumed he was and that's part of why I like him!! but there's so many places he doesn't quite... talk like himself? And not just in terms of word choice, like -- so in his monologue at the end, he's described as talking so quickly that his words are "tumbling out faster than he can speak them," which initially seems fine; like yeah, that's a Standard Scene we're familiar with, the person who's been Driven Mad With Insight becoming more and more manic as they try to convey it -- until I tried to imagine it and realised that Sammy doesn't talk like this. That's a really consistent quality I always notice about his voice; whether he's almost giddily excited in prophet mode, or he’s his irritated and overworked human self, or he's violently angry and his voice has that echo effect -- he always speaks very deliberately. He enunciates carefully. There's some circumstances where I'd buy this as showing that he's Not Himself, but I feel like those would kind of need to be in the middle of his transformation, not at the end of it.

- In fact a lot of the scenes with Sammy kind of have this feeling -- that it's not necessarily an exploration of Sammy as a character, but that he is filling a trope or archetype role here. Once he's fully transformed he excitedly describes the process as more of a mental compulsion, which is in contrast to his weird yeerk-infected behaviour when trying to get ink from Miss Lambert. Both of those scenes don't seem wrong on their own because they fit tropes we know -- but they feel weird when you try to fit them together.

- I also just in general am not a fan of the ink acting like a weird yeerk. It can be a parasite I guess but when it starts overwriting and puppeting people and crawling around to enter their body that's just a completely DIFFERENT kind of supernatural story and it’s not what im here for!!!

- THE FREAKIN!!! HE WILL SET US FREE!!!! WHY????????? SAMUEL LAWRENCE WHAT IS HE SETTING YOU FREE FROM??????? Sammy has No Motive for any of what he's doing, other than just Ink Made Me Do It. The whole thing that was INTERESTING about Sammy as a character is the contrast between this frustrated, ornery musician with no specific love for the cartoons he works on, and the manically devoted cultist he becomes. What happened in the middle there? What made him desperate enough to shift his mindset so much? "Something supernatural made him do things that don't benefit him in any way" is a very boring answer to this question!!! Susie was a victim who implies that her transformation has forced her to do things she didn't want to do, but we can still see her motive -- she wanted to be Alice, so she took a sketchy offer to try to get what she wanted. Even now, her violence echoes that goal -- to be a more perfect Alice. What did Sammy want? WHO KNOWS. Even in his ink-addled state at the end, we don't understand what he hopes the Ink Demon will even do for him, and in fact he seems to be responsible for creating the very scenario he's begging Bendy to reverse in the game.

- [sighs loudly into my hands]

- Overall I'm left wondering if the author just..... didn't like Sammy Lawrence? And I don't mean that in the sense of him being a rude jerk -- like, Joey is not a good person, but the author seems to be interested in him and in what makes him tick. There doesn't seem to be that same interest in Sammy. Sammy's role in the story is that of a monster, transformed into something murderous, unable to prevent or choose it. He's not a victim of anyone but the ink, no one had to manipulate him or figure out how his brain worked or what he wanted or what he feared or give him any reason to do the things he does -- ink got in his mouth and overwrote his personality. And we don't even get to see that change, not really. He starts out angry and defensive and continues being angry and defensive up until his very last scene, denying his ink-stealing but not really much else. We see all his prophetic sketches but we never see hints of this in him, we never see him start to act more excited and hopeful, we never see him seek out the demon he desires to please. Why do we never see Sammy struggling between his dismissive angry front and a building religious fervour he can't quite suppress? We don't get to see any of the in-between. There's no interest at all in why or even what it looked like as Sammy became what he became, when, to be honest, I suspect interest in precisely that is one reason he's such a big fav.

- It's funny, in a "cries into my hands" kind of way, when Sammy is just knocked in the head while monologuing and immediately removed from the story without further mention, like...... that sure is the pattern with him, isn't it, he just tries very very hard and never actually gets to matter, but it also fits right in here, too, in this book that doesn't want to think about his motives -- he rambles nonsensically, explaining nothing, gets one trademark phrase, and then is hastily removed so the story doesn't have to think about him anymore.

...................I think that's most of it.

...

Y'all............ I'm not ready for Sent From Above.......... I'm just not.... I'm not emotionally ready...... like..... Sammy has to be in that right..... he’s Susie’s boss and she has that big crush on him..................................... I’m not ready

[ask-these-fantrolls]

this is just an ask, not a request, but do/would u ever draw ur trans characters, like bel, pre transition? (i think this makes sense?) im not trying to be rude, just your own take as an artist yk. ˖°°˖✧◝(♥◡♥) love ur art

[I’m very glad you like my art, and I appreciate it very much.  But to just be honest...  I got this ask yesterday and didn’t have the motivation to answer it then, and now I’m sick with an off and on fever of 100+ degrees and I am NOT in the mood to be overly polite and to coddle people on this, so I’m going to be relatively blunt.  I know you probably are well meaning anon but I’m very tired of answering this question and questions similar to this one over and over again.  I’m going to be a bit rude under the cut, so read at your own risk.

Short answer: No, I have not and will not do that, and no amount of cutesy emojis or posing it as a question of my “take as an artist” will make the obsession some anons have with seeing my characters (and Belshn specifically) “pre transition” not creepy.  You don’t need to know what he looked like as a child before he transitioned, and I will not answer any more questions asking for it.

I want to be clear that i am NOT ANGRY AT YOU SPECIFICALLY!!!!  I’m just a bit fed up with answering this same thing in overly nice ways time and time again.  I know you probably just don’t understand that this might be an issue for some people, so please don’t take offence to what i say here

Long answer: Why do you think you need to know this?  Why do you want so much to see Belshn before he transitioned?  This is a general “you” question, but I’m assuming that if you know he’s trans than you have probably seen me talk about how he transitioned at a young age and how I’m uncomfortable with the idea of showing what he would have looked like as a small child pre-transition.  

You wouldn’t ask a trans person “can i see pictures of you from before you transitioned?” right?  If you would, let me tell you something in the nicest way possible while I feel like I’m dying: That’s creepy.  That’s weird as all hell.  When you ask that, you’re asking someone to show you a part of themselves that they wanted gone and changed and never to be seen again.  What you are really asking is “can I invalidate who you are at present so that I can have very intimate knowledge about you that you don’t like to show others so that I know what you “really” looked like?”

By the few anons I’ve gotten about this I can only assume that you are clamoring to know what Belshn looked like “as a girl” and it really makes me upset.  I’ve shared sketches of him from when he was a teenager, so if you want to see what he looked like when he was younger you can go look for those.  Fuck, if you wanted to see what he looked like as a younger troll and you asked for that I would be happy to draw it.  He’s one of my favorite characters!  I absolutely love drawing him and I am VERY HONORED that you like him enough to ask these things!!  But when you go out of your way to specify that you want to see him pre-transition?  You are asking me to go out of my way to draw my character who is a man as a little girl.  

Like, I REALLY don’t understand what you want out of seeing him before he transitioned other than being able to get some weird pleasure out of knowing that he hasn’t always “been a real man”.  There’s nothing to be gained out of knowing what he looked like.  I mean, this is an honest question, what purpose does seeing him like that serve?  So you can think about him looking like a little girl with goddamn pigtails and a jumper dress or something every time you see him used in RPs or art?    

4 people have asked for things like this- with only one of them having the nerve to ask me directly and off anon.  I explained to them (a lot nicer than this) why it’s not something that you should ask for, just like you don’t ask for someone’s deadname, and how it comes off as you just wanting to have a little extra dirt on them or to get some weird sense of knowing “the REAL them”.  

You don’t need to know what a real life trans person looked like before they transitioned, and you don’t need to know what a character looked like pre-transition.  What matters is who a person is in the present.  I don’t know why some of yall hear “this is my big cowboy!  He’s trans, he’s a dad, and he loves you already” and immediately think “Ok but i want to seem him as a Girl and in a state where he hated himself”.  

Some artists are fine with sharing that sort of thing.  I don’t understand why, whether cis or trans, you would want to do yourself or your characters dirty like that, but that’s for them to decide.  I am not and will never be comfortable forcing my characters back into a state where they would be dysphoric or at all unhappy with their body.  As a transman the LEAST i can do for my characters if give them the comfort that I don’t have access to.

I thought it would be enough common sense that seeing my “I will not do genderbends” rule would extend to things like this, but because of these kinds of asks (and yours specifically, anon) I guess I have to add to my rules blatantly out in the open for any freak to see “No, I will not draw what my characters looked like before they transitioned for you to gawk at”.

I know this is all a VERY harsh reply, and you probably aren’t the same person who has asked to see Belshn in his ex-matesprit’s clothes or to see him 10 sweeps younger “oh wait, no, before that” or asked if he doesn’t like wearing Women’s Clothes because he’s Trans and Was A Woman(TM) but I am honestly out of patience for this.  

At this point it feels like fetishization of the character.  I’m not feeling very generous with being nice about this topic or babying those who ask these (even if honestly) ignorant sort of questions.  I really hope that it’s an innocent desire to just know more about him as a character, but you could just as easily ask that deadass instead of asking to see him before transitioning.]

[fbdo1986]

sloane !! + princess leia

aaagh thank you for sending this august!!! bc you didn’t specify for which im just gonna write a slew of random ones!

sloane: some of these i’ve talked about briefly before but i thought i’d bring a few back up again!

- i think her middle name is dorothy!!!

- i think her room is messy, not intentionally of course, and a lot of her things are covered in stickers as remnants from when she was a little kid and put stickers on pretty much everything. 

- i think her parents are the type to have her learn calligraphy, and she doesn’t stick with it super long but occasionally she still gets “rented out” to write invitations or cards for her parents or their friends. i think her handwriting is pretty nice in general, unless she’s in a hurry then sometimes it’s pretty much illegible to anyone except her. 

- i think she found out she liked girls pretty early in her life, probably during elementary or middle school. i’m still trying to sort out a backstory for that but! accept bi sloane <3

- i think the only subject she’s really bad at is science. i think cameron becomes an unofficial tutor to ferris when he takes chemistry and he does the same for sloane when she takes it!

- i think her dad is like, probably some local public official, who probably works on the schoolboard or something. i think she often gets whisked away to functions she wishes she wouldn’t lmao. 

- last one!!! i think she works at a library during the summer of ‘86!

leia!!! okay im going to be honest but i haven’t seen all the star wars films so these may be WAY off base of canon (specifically in regards to her backstory/home life when she was young) however!:

- i think as a young girl she was VERY interested in botany, especially flowers. i think she would read any book she got her hands on about plants, and would memorize all the scientific names for each plant she possibly could. i think if she grew up with luke he would often surprise her and sketch her favorite ones for her!

- i think leia’s actually a really emotional person, especially when she gets angry, it’s easy for to her to bottle stuff up but it’s also just as easy for her to end up having it all burst out of her. 

- i think she cut her own hair a lot when she was growing up, whenever she needed a change she’d just hack at it herself. i imagine it going either one of two ways: absolutely perfect, she’s so happy with it, or she’s at her wits end because she just hates it or can’t get it even. she fusses with it so much that luke jokes that she should just shave it all off. she considers it once. i think especially as a teen and in her twenties she liked it short, the longest probably coming to just below her shoulders during this time. 

[blondecarfucker]

Ocean Eyes (Roger Taylor)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: You're new in town and a blue-eyed boy caught your attention. You grow up to be best friends, but the possibility of being more is always haunting the two of you. Reader is also an art student who draws Roger constantly.

Fic Note: So I wrote this for @yourealegendfred's 3k words song inspired challenge. I have been trying to write this for a while now, but the story was missing a middle part, and that's where @pigfish27 comes in with a beautiful request that was already very similar to my idea for the fic (with the reader being very artistic and such), and honestly, don't know how I'd write this without her idea, so thank you!! Thank you too for the challenge and song inspo, yourealegendfred. I chose this song because 1) I like Billie Eilish 2) Roger's eyes are very hypnotic. If it's your first time here, hi! I adore Roger Taylor and I write a lot about him, including a long ass, 17 parts at the moment, fanfic, so my masterlist is in my bio! Can't link it here or else Tumblr will avoid showing the post on the tags.

Words: Nearly 4000

Warnings: a bit of angst in the beggining, SMUT, unprotected sex (it's not the 70s anymore kids, you know you should wrap it before you tap it), recreational use of drugs (that's up to you, but like, we all know it's the right thing to say "kid's, don't do it", so i'm saying it now). that are probably some minor errors cause im super sleepy

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

I've been watching you

For some time

You remember the first time you saw Roger. You just moved to a new city, your 15th city in your 14 years, and you just got to school. Your mom promised you'd stop moving, but you didn't really believe her. You had no reason to.

So you got there, your school uniform ill fitting, and as you said goodbye to your mom in the car, you saw him. His hair was longer than the rest of the boys, his uniform shirt was creased, the first buttons open, his tie undone.

You watched him step on a cigarette butt on the ground as he held another one between his fingers. You couldn't believe how blue his eyes were behind all the smoke around his face.

Not only in color. He was joking with his friends, and you could hear them laughing, but he looked sad, his eyes unable to hide how blue he really was.

You recognized those eyes. Eyes like that looked right back at you every time you looked in the mirror.

He looked back into your eyes, too.

Can't stop staring

At those oceans eyes

But you only spoke for the first time in detention. You didn't knew why was he there; you got caught sleeping in bio again. You were drawing, trying to make time go by faster, when a hand pressed against your table. It was big in comparison to yours, and you noticed how callous it looked. You looked up and was met with his eyes.

"Could you borrow me a pencil?", he said, a smirk on his lips.

"Sure", you told him, and gave him one.

"What are you doing?", he said, as he sat back into his chair, scribbling something in a piece of paper in front of him.

"I'm drawing", you said. You only realised you sketched his hand a few minutes later. You looked at him, watching as he wrote something in the piece of paper. The word "drowse" covered the paper.

"Are you really drawing? Or are you watching me?", he said, aggressive after realizing you read what he wrote, moving the paper away from you. His eyes stared into yours. Angry.

"I can do both. I'm drawing you", you snapped back, and he looked surprised that you weren't intimidated by him. He smirked. "Do you want me to pose?", he asked. "Just look at me", you told him, sketching his eyes.

Burning cities

And napalm skies

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

Your ocean eyes

You drew him a lot. He used to call himself your muse. You drew him drumming, his eyes narrowed at the effort. You drew him when he had his arms wrapped around some girl at a party.

You grew closer together, bonding over how you disliked that town. You couldn't believe this was the city that your mom settled on. Roger and you would complain about that as you shared a blunt on the side of the river behind your school, the sound of the running water muffling your complaints.

He liked how you never seemed uncomfortable around him, even when he was being cocky, and you liked how honest he was around you, never treating you like one of the girls he flirted with, just treating you as an equal to him.

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

It wasn't until when you both moved to London for school that it happened for the first time. You both shared a flat, and you were sitting on the couch, drinking and smoking while listening to My Sweet Lord on repeat, and he was complaining, as usual. About the band he was in, about his classes, about the girls he was seeing.

You turned to him and said "God, Taylor. I don't think I can think of anyone else that complains as much as you do", and he scoffed. "Well, there's you. I can think of something else we could do", and you stared into his eyes, even more blue because of the redness around his pupils. And you knew what he was suggesting. You flirted sometimes, though you never really payed attention to it. But now, with the smoke clouding your brain, and his eyes staring deep into yours, you thought that he could do whatever he wanted with you.

And he did.

He moved his hand to your thigh, pulling you closer to him on the couch, as you kept looking into his eyes. He didn't break the contact, almost as if he was checking how far he could go before you stopped him.

But you never did.

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Falling into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

You were still friends with him, but you noticed a change in your relationship. Every time he'd come home with a girl after a gig, you felt an ache on your chest. You were used to that, emotional pain, but never before from him. You didn't realize how much influence he had over you. How much you could care about him.

And it was made worse by the fact that every few weeks, you would both fuck again - quick, messy, rough; you barely looked at each other. But you never really talked about it, not even joked about it to each other. "Don't overthink this", you told yourself in the mirror after a night with him, throwing water in your face, the bruises he made on your neck and cleavage staring back at you.

And even when those marks disappeared, you could still feel his touch on your skin. You forced yourself to go out with other people, but it was always him that ended up invading your mind.

He got further under your skin than anyone else; he wasn't just a good lay. He made you feel vulnerable, exposed, but also noticed. He saw everything that was wrong with you and was still there.

Cause the thing is, you knew his worst, too. His cheating on other girls - even with you, or when he'd call three girls in the same night just because he wasn't sure who would really come, and the three girls did, and he would then entertain two of them as the third waited on your living room, not in the mood for something groupal. The girls who waited on him to finish were usually pretty nice with you, since they visibly didn't care for sharing - one of them actually helped you pick an outfit to go out to a pub, one day.

And you were also used to his aggressive, drunk self that usually came before he started to vomit, and you'd always help him - holding his sweaty strands back, convincing him to take a cold shower, going out to the deli and getting him chips and a coke so he had something to eat before passing out. He'd done the same for you multiple times.

Or the first time you did molly together on a music festival - Roger bit his lips until they blead, and you kept dancing even after the sun went up again, burning your shoulders under the sun. The two of you took care of each other afterwards, and swore off molly.

You felt like a married couple, sometimes; only the two of you living in the same flat for nearly a year, occasionally fucking, knowing each other inside out. This thought only made it hurt more when you saw him with a girl that wasn't you.

And now, every time you fucked, you had to force yourself off the bed so you wouldn't sleep on his arms, no matter how much you wanted.

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Falling into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

And then he brought a friend home one night - a guy that joined the band after the other guy, Tim, left. You know Brian, you even hang out with Brian when you go to Roger's shows and rehearsals, but you never really clicked.

Now this guy, Freddie, was almost a male version of you: very artistic, always scribbling something. Eventually, when Roger and you decided to move to a bigger flat, you invited Freddie to split the rent and live on the other room the flat had.

You felt close to Freddie, and you always helped each other out when drawing, borrowing pencils and brushes whenever necessary, and Roger just watched - he couldn't really participate in this new dynamic.

You even nearly stopped the casual fucking - the incidents, for the lack of a better word, would happen less often. It was almost like he felt Freddie was replacing him in every aspect of your life, but he wasn't - you and Freddie didn't see each other that way. But to admit it to Roger would be to admit you felt different with him, and you didn't want him to feel sorry for you as he rejected you.

Once you noticed that he feels replaced, though, you started to involve Roger in your drawings again - asking him to pose for you, drawing his car.

And that was good for you too, because you couldn't take him off your mind, now that you're getting less of him. He even started to show up in your school work, you knowing his face features so well that you drew him on everything.

One of your works was to remake pictures and cover art from pop culture with your own trace - and there was Roger's face in the same pose and with the same dim lights as Marlene Dietrich (one of Freddie's favourite pictures to the point where he has it framed in your living room), and there's Roger's face and body in the remake of the cover of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and there's Roger in the cover art for Aladdin Sane.

You didn't want to look creepy - and you know how creepy it was that you kept drawing your friend in each and every drawing and painting you did.

But you're used to drawing him - you started it when you were both 14. You knew the exact curve of his lips, the bridge of his nose, the format of his eyes.

I've been walking through

A world gone blind

Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind

And now you had to do oil paintings of the human physique - a nightmare for you, completely unaccustomed to oil paint. So you painted the body you knew best, and the one that you craved the most. It's been two months since the last time you had sex with Roger.

And one day, Roger came home and saw a painting on one of your easels in the living room - not an odd sight. But the painting itself caught his attention - a very detailed, realistic naked man. Once he got closer, he noticed how the man's skin tone was close to his, how he had the same haircut... the same face as Roger.

The realization hit him - you drew him naked.

He blushed.

Cause he always called himself your muse, but this was intimate - this was the way he'd lay in bed after you had sex. A part of your friendship that you never discussed.

He always thought of you as someone who's too cool for him - you never once looked intimidated by his jokes, flirting, whatever. You didn't really care. He thought you didn't give a fuck about the two of you - especially now that you had Freddie.

He tried to get mad at one of you two - but Freddie was too nice and a good frontman, so he couldn't fight him, and he could never get mad at you. All you had to do was say "Rog", in your husky voice and he'd be on his knees.

That was so unlike him. He was embarrassed, so he tried to play it cool. Pretend he wasn't hurt at the fact that you were probably fucking Freddie on his back.

But this drawing of him in a very vulnerable, intimate moment made him change his mind. Maybe you did care for him. Maybe those moments mattered to you almost as much as they mattered to him.

So he walked to your room, and knocked lightly on the door, getting in before you said "Come in". Because you never said it; you were listening to Purple Haze at maximum volume, only wearing a baggy white shirt with paint everywhere. He could see your black panties peeking from under it as you swayed your hips to the rhythm of the music.

He then looked to what you were drawing - he recognized his hair and body again. You were painting him nude, yet again. A devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

"Hey, Y/N", he screamed, and you jumped out of surprise, your eyes wide as you turned to face him. "Roger, what the fuck are you doing here?", you asked, trying to normalize your breathing.

"Oh, just checking out your paintings. It's a pretty hot guy you have as a model… I wonder who he is", he told you, ironic, walking closer to the painting.

You blushed for a moment, like a child getting caught. But you soon went back to your devil-may-care attitude - the one he was more familiar with. "Just painted the body I'm more familiar with", you shrugged, turning back to your painting so you didn't have to see his reaction. It's the first time one of you references the sex.

"It's fine. I'm honoured, really", he said, moving behind the easel so he could see your face as you worked. "My pleasure", you told him, dry. "I came here to offer my help, really", he told you, unbuttoning his shirt. "Thought you could use the real life model to make work easier", he grinned, and you looked at him. His voice sounded relaxed as usual, but his face looked tense. He was scared that you'd turn him down.

He looked so vulnerable, yet so beautiful - your bedroom had the best lighting in the house, and the sun on his skin made him look like Apollo himself, luminous.

"Sure. That'll definitely make the work flow faster", you shrugged again, but you felt a genuine smile forming as you saw him relax and start undressing.

Careful creature

Made friends with time

He left her lonely with a diamond mind

And those ocean eyes

And you painted him many times, for this project, for the ones that came after it, for your personal projects. It really made you bond again - but you didn't have sex anymore, which was confusing, cause you were seeing him naked more than ever, as he posed nude whenever you asked.

You were conscious that you were going out with even less guys, and that Roger was seeing less girls. Freddie was aware of your newfound chemistry, and always made jokes about how it felt to live third wheeling. You laughed, and Roger too, but you didn't knew what to do about it.

Then, one Sunday, Roger appeared in your doorframe, half dressed, a backpack open on his hands. "Do you wanna spend the day at the beach?", he asked, and you looked confused. "Roger, it's already autumn", you told him, and went back to scribbling. You were drawing his hands - now that he was wearing rings, they posed a new challenge to you.

"And what about it? It's better, actually. No one will be there to annoy us. You could paint me… C'mon, Y/N", he said, and you considered. It would be quite an impressive painting - the blue in his eyes and the blue of the ocean, the sand, his hair and skin mixing, too.

"Ok, Rog", you said, and started to pack your materials. "See you in my car in five minutes, then", he told you, and went back to dressing and packing at the same time.

The car ride there was a bit weird - you couldn't find a subject to talk to him, overthinking every idea he had. He wasn't starting any conversations, either.

Then once you got to the beach, you unpacked your materials, and he stood in front of you. "What should I do?", he asked, a bit insecure, and you let out a sigh. You didn't want to spend the afternoon in this uncomfortable feeling around him.

So you got up and said "Join me", as you started undressing, and wearing only your underwear, you jumped inside the cold water.

You screamed when the freezing sea touched your skin, and you soon heard Roger scream, too. "Y/N, why the fuck did you get me inside the water? It's freezing!", he screamed, and you laughed. "Thought you could handle some cold water, Taylor. But apparently I'm wrong", you told him, and splashed water on his face. "Oh, so you want war?" he asked, and started to tickle you.

You spent some time in the ocean, your bodies getting used to the temperature, joking and swimming. Once the sun got closer to the horizon, bathing everything in a golden light, you told Roger it was time to paint. You got off the water, and he followed you, watching your body as your underwear clinged to your wet skin.

But when you got to wear the beach towel was covering the sand - the perfect place for you to paint him - you were shaking, the cold wind taking away your body heat. "Hey, just a second", Roger told you before handing you a towel. After you dried yourself, he offered you one of his fur coats that was in his bag. You accepted it, the fur immediately conserving your body temperature, and you started to relax. Roger got another fur coat for himself, and also a bottle of tequila and a blunt from the bag.

"Cheers", he said, after drinking straight from the bottle and passing it to you. You drank, too, as he started to light up the blunt.

"How should I pose?", he asked, passing you the blunt.

"Just stay the way you are. It's perfect", you told him, and you started mixing the tones.

The painting was almost ready and the sun was setting as you got to Roger's eyes. He stopped posing for a moment so he could start a fire to warm the both of you.

"Thanks", you said, and he shrugged. "A way to apologize for barely passing you the blunt", he said, and you laughed. "It's okay, I barely passed you the tequila", you shrugged, too.

As you went back to painting, you were frustrated at his eyes. You just couldn't get their color right. He noticed you were stressed.

"Did I do anything wrong?", he asked, and you laughed. "No, Rog. I just can't get your eye colour right", you told him. "Why is that?" he asked again, and you shrugged again. "Don't know. They're usually pretty hard to get right, but I can do it most of the times", you said.

Maybe it was the reflex of the fire in his eyes. "I'll get a closer look at them, okay?", you asked, putting your work to the side and leaning into him, your weight on your hands and knees.

Roger looked at your body, warmly lit by the fire by your side, your black lingerie in contrast with the caramel fur. He knew how soft your skin was, and he craved feeling in on the tip of his fingers.

So he moved one of his hands so he could cup your jaw, and he saw as your breathing hitched. He hasn't touched you like this in months.

You moved one of your own hands to cup his face, and he felt the friction of the sand on your skin against him as you pulled him closer to a kiss.

None of you closed your eyes during the slow kiss.

You pushed him onto his back, and pressed his body against the sand with your own. You grinded against him as you kissed him again, and he closed his eyes as he groaned in response.

But you didn't want to hurry it - this was the first time you were fucking in months, yeah, but also the first time in felt so intimate - you were actually looking at each other during some of the kiss, and he caressed your waist under the coat, your thighs, with caring - he was not being rough for the first time. You could feel his bulge against your core, and you kept moving against it as you kissed him.

Until he had enough and started pulling your panties down, his index finger brushing against your skin under the elastic band.

You started pushing his underwear down, too, and his cock was already hard. You got on your knees, straddling him, so he could sit and take his boxers off. You then moved your bare core against the tip of his member. You both moaned.

"Just fuck me", he mumbled under his breath, his perfect lips parted. You leaned into him so you could kiss him as you pushed your body down his cock until he bottomed out inside of you.

You stayed there for a few moments, kissing him slowly, before you started riding him.

It was slow at first, and he kept his eyes on you, the electric blue driving you mad - everything around you seemed to pale in comparison. You only broke eye contact once one of you closed your eyes to moan or curse.

It was a different feeling - you could still feel the fabric of your bra against your breast as you kept riding him, moving faster and trying to keep a rhythm. You unclasped your bra, and Roger helped you off your coat and bra, and started kissing your breasts, but you could see he was having a hard time focusing on them, as you kept riding him. He was close.

But you needed to see more of him so you could come. "I need to see you", you told him, and he nodded, looking at you through his lashes and giving you a weak smirk as he took the coat off.

The cold wind was hard on your skin, but the temperature shock made you more turned on. Roger was even closer, and started to press sloppy kisses to your neck as leaned his head against your shoulder. You felt your legs burning of the effort of riding him, but you were now getting close, too, as you felt his skin against your hard nipples.

He moved his hand from your waist to your sensitive clit, and massaged it. You nearly screamed - the extra stimulation was what you needed to reach your climax, and he moved his hands to your hips to help you ride him through your high.

You felt tired and sleepy, but you kept riding him with his help, your head on his neck now, and he could feel your heavy breathing against his skin, and soon you could see the veins on his neck pop and his jaw clench as he reached his climax.

None of you moved for a few moments, until Roger felt you shiver in his arms, breaking up his embrace to get your coat.

You got off of him so he could get his own coat, but you didn't got up - you pushed him down again, covering your bodies with the coat as if it was a duvet. He chuckled as you put your head in his chest, and you look up only to see him facing you.

At that moment, the electric blue of his gaze made every other shade of blue around you even more intense - the sea and the sky. All because of his ocean eyes.

[dotzines]

Artist spotlight: Lunarin-Arts!

✿ Commissions ✿ Instagram ✿ DeviantArt ✿ Twitter ✿ Tumblr

Header source: [X]  

Introduce yourself I am Lonneke! But online I prefer going by the name Rumii. I am currently 20 years old and I live in the Netherlands. In my spare time I like drawing (of course), Cosplaying and Gaming. I used to be really into anime, And I still have favourites like Kamisama hajimemashita, Black butler and hetalia. But right now I am more of an artist/ gamer. In which I play alot of Overwatch, which would be my main fandom. and Story rich games like NieR; Automata. I love meeting new people, and especially other artists. Even though I tend to be a bit shy at first //especially in large groups Nonetheless I hope we can get along!! And Im very excited to try out zines. as I have never done them before. When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I started drawing in last grade of primary school, so around the age of 11/12. I primarily started out traditionally, but quickly picked up on digital art. Mainly using MS Paint when I just started out. Next thing I know I had a drawing tablet and extensively used Paint tool SAI. So I would say I am a digital artist. Though I do traditional as well, but I don't upload traditional art as much.  Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? I have! for traditional work I just use whatever pencils I have around for sketching. Micron fineliners for Linearting. I don't color my works often, but have started getting some copic markers, pro markers and twin markers to try out. I like using the copic markers alot, they are very expensive.. but I can just feel how much better the quality is compared to my other markers.

image source: [X]   Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) I highly prefer digital, mainly because it's way more easy to manipulate your works, edit any smaller mistakes without having to draw them over again. and from lineart on, nothing you do is permanent. Plus I can use way more colors than I can on traditional mediums right now. What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? I think the biggest challenges for me were getting accustomed to my drawing tablet. I mean it really takes some time to get used to the pressure, and it really feels different than draiwng directly on paper. and after that getting familiar with the drawing programs. I just switched programs again and I am still figuring out all the tools. So even though I think digital mediums make things alot more easy, it takes a long time to get everything out of it. even years later you can discover a function you never knew of. which will elevate your art even more. What inspires your pieces? I take inspiration from various places, I like doing challenges, or just fanart. but also alot from music. it can get me into a certain mood or I can just see a piece that fits with the music. and then try sketching it out while listening to this song. I also like looking around for special things like 'mermay' for example. Look at the themes and just try to imagine what kind of piece I can do with that.

image source: [X]   Explain your "everyday" drawing process I kinda take I gotta explain how I get through an artwork? well, first of course I try to find my inspiration. Or I already have a vague idea of what I want to do. And I make a super super rough sketch. then I go over it and add slightly more details. My sketches are still usually very messy. but I love that when I lineart I can make everything pretty and detailed. and it looks better compared to the sketch. Which is obviously my next step. After that I lay down base coloring in seperate layers. Always starting with skincolor > Haircolor > eyes > bigger parts of clothes > smaller parts of clothes > details If I have background I try to go with the biggest parts like the sky or ground or whatever first. and move up from bigger to smaller things pretty much. I work very organized so I always have my layers in different maps. Usually one for each character, and for the entire BG. sometimes also different ones for different parts of the background. so it's easy to find back if I have to fix something in a certain part of my artwork. Besides this I also sometimes do more painted works, I have only done those in portraits so far. But in those I made the sketch > put colors below it > merge layers > start the shading part by part on top of it. usually working back to front on which colors overlap eachother Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

I have a few people I know that inspire me, like Chance-To-Draw on DA ( https://www.deviantart.com/chance-to-draw ) And my best friend of mine who doesn't really upload her works anywhere anymore ;;-;; So I can only admire her through our discord server >< I also love Lord_Gris (https://www.instagram.com/lord_gris/) alot! And Rosuuri (https://www.instagram.com/rosuuriart/) ofc those are a few well-known artists. I follow alot more people with amazing art but gosh I can't possibly list all of them here >< I just like seeing a variety of different art styles and OC's Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? Right now I'd say this one; http://fav.me/dd4acw5 I just..love how the coloring turned out. this was a really hard painted piece to do aaa >< especially her hair. But Im just so happy with it! I really feel like I have been improving my coloring again lately and I can't get enough of it jgkdhf

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? YEees, I listen to vocaloid covers alot, actually. also covers from other things. just..alot of covers. or original fanbase songs ahah A few examples here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwMZhdyZHVI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNoy_b_JYU0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPMhkIiapIA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPw-0vctJJQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tr014nQ4pk

image source: [X]   What makes art interesting for you? For me it started alot as a way to vent my emotions. It calms me down to draw when I am sad, angry or happy even. I love being able to look back and see the improvement. and know that in 2 years I will once again look back at the stuff I am currently very proud of. and know I can already do so much better than that! This is really what keeps it interesting to me, I think. What do you do when art block strikes? //Cry// Jk, To be honest. I either try to break through and search for any inspiration. Or I just call it a day and go game or listen to music. In the last 1.5/2 years I have had a massive art block. I was dissapointed in my own art. didn't know what to draw anymore. and didn't see the point of continuing. Just recently I found a new art program. which in this case helped me get out of this huge slump. and I'm ready to be a bit more active. and get into new projects and broaden my horizon's in general What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

Well, I haven't asked for alot of advice before. but a while ago I sortof got the advice to use references more often. After which I feel alot less afraid to do so. and feel like my works are getting alot better. and I find it easier to start on things after searching for pose or background refs

[akalegos]

Could you tell us a little about your characters?

Y E S !

but due to me having at least over a thousand characters I’ll just give a quick summary of the 25 I manage to dig up over 3 sketchbooks.

Y’all can pick and choose which of them interest yall or who you wanna hear more about!

Also because I’m extra, I made sketch icons for the 25 characters, info under the cut

I’ll talk a bit more about my actual Original Characters first, starting with

Aiko! Otherwise known as Echo

- A marked individual in a steampunk world that gets mixed with magic, because I like both of those things

- Echo runs an underground lab that does helps the underground world with replacing body parts, illegal surgeries etc etc

- Even though she marked, which puts a bounty on her head already, she is well respected by the community for not cheating for your money, stealing your cash, or shanking/killing you mid-surgery

- however, Echo does long for adventure and sometimes do get bored in the lab

oh yeah,, Echo like stealing eyeballs, so if you’re low on cash and wouldn’t mind losing an eye, you know who to call!!

Bonus:

Here’s Echo’s boring, undeveloped sidekick!! I don’t like her and I don’t know how to make her better. Yes, she doesn’t have a name.

here’s my god playboy that left “heaven” due to having an early mid-life crisis, I call him God boi cause;

- He goes by many names! 

tbh, he’s probably the closest character I have to being genderfluid/-neutral? I’m not sure,,

- The god has many powers, from lightning to shapeshifting

- The shapeshifting part allows him to change every part of himself, allowing him to change depending on his situation.

- God boyo, or originally Aristide, is obsessed with the idea of perfection. A god should be perfect, if a god is out of line, he is no god. 

- Same goes for him, which means whenever something is wrong with him, it affects him, extremely

However, leaving the land of gods to live among humans aren’t all perks

- Aris isn’t immune to diseases or injuries. In fact, he actually fell down and died on impact when he came to earth, being reborn into another child immediately.

- He doesn’t gain his memories back automatically tho!! He has to have a major shock to the brain in order for him to remember his previous lives

- Sometimes the shock isn’t enough either, when you have a thousand over lives, you won’t remember every single one of them. So forgotten lovers coming back to haunt because your brain hates you? That’s everyday for him!

i just,, i like playing with the concepts of god,,

Up next we got Ayeka Himura! A japanese student going to a neighborhood, but still a pretty good, school living close to poverty due to her father’s constant spending habits and obsession with art supplies. With the household lacking a mother due to wacky shenanigans, Ayeka takes care of her two younger siblings and the house, all while maintaining a very well-paid job and slowly loosing interest in actually studying for a good, honest job.

also she likes birds!!

Yes her design is heavily “based” off Toga but I love her current design too much to change it, h e l p

So like,, I suck at chinese and I made ocs that exclusively spoke in chinese to help with that but I’m still stuck at 40~marks

I forgot his scar but remembered his earring i hate myself

my og chinese kiddo! he was was first to come and I love his design ever since

he radiates fuck you energy except the girl below. He’s neighbors with her and they acknowledge each other existence ever since. he has a dumb cliche crush on her and is a bit protective of her because nothing says having issues than latching onto someone that makes you happy

Only this girl got named!! even tho she was the second character.

Li Shen, yes she doesnt have a surname, is apparently main ho now, according to my old oc chart of my “main” ocs

She’s the group’s resident sweetheart and really does not want you to do stupid shit, stop doing stupid shit. She tutors my son up there ^^ even though he’s actually smart and just refuses to do his work properly. But she still deeply cares for him.

As well as the girl below shdifhd

the last girl of the ching chong trio and the reason I had to switch up my son’s design is this girly over here! Her design was too business-y and formal so I enrolled all of them into college. A rich girl who doesn’t know how to deal with her g a y thoughts. Tried sending Li Shen some flowers once. She didn’t realize attaching her name would be a good idea and son got a good laugh.

i like paranormal stuff so they apparently look into that shit in their spare time. They’re all actually really fun characters to do prompts with I swear!! send some in and I’ll write them

I had a previous concept for son and Li Shen before last girl came and if yall want me to talk about it,,, i found my sketchbook with the old ideas,,

NEXT UP IS MY OLD GIRL ELORA!!

Elora herself used to be a fan character but I pulled her out and wow\

cant fucking believe she used to be straight for Vylad

shes the outgoing, fun adventure type! bit of mommy issues here and there tho,, I don’t want to say too much since I have an entire for her +

her now upgraded bro, Vincent

i really like the name vincent,,

also now he has mommy issues

Ead, the knight who used to have armor

I hate drawing armor 

he also have issues

AND IRIS MY SWEET GIRL IM SO SORRY

she doesnt have that much issues tho

basically I made elora and her bro have mommy issues, I’m sorry in advance if that spoils anything

I, sometimes, post about these 4 over on @eloradiesismydocsname​ and its a gay ol’ time

not that gay tho because uhh,, medieval times,, but I need prompts for a modern au of them and I am happy to talk about their personalities and even go semi in-depth for any of them!!

here we have ghoster.png,, which is her file name cause I didn’t name her,,

A horror enthusiast + film student that goes to a supposedly haunted shack to film her upcoming project with the boys. wacky shenanigans occur and the boys left leaving ghoster here to starve and eventually fall to her death. But because it’s my oc i get to bring her back from the dead, now hungry as ever and will fucking eat you, its not a kink thing, shes just that hungry and angry

tax fraud.png

a robo girl that i created during social studies cause they were talking about taxes and i just went, “what if,, a robo runs on taxes,,, and like,, she haunts you down for not paying your taxes,,” thus she was born! I don’t know what to name her but she is set in the future so-

Time to go future-apocalypse style because I love that setting too and was upset that I didn’t have any ocs in that style. So I created Alex A. ! A cybrog filled with memories of the previous generations as a sad attempt to preserve human life.

He’s accompanied by his sister/cousin idr i didn’t draw an icon for her, didnt like her design. they go on a hunt for food and to return with nothing. She gets to meet this other dude who has a plant arm im pretty sure i based him off someone’s elses oc but i cant remember. The 3 are forgotten. Kinda want to bring them back tho.

Neon! A character set in the future utopia of lazy people, where gamers rise up. its the best I can describe her story without getting too deep. She the new hacker on the block, joining the underground gang of elite hackers. She’s another one of those wacky characters that just has fun. I mean, when you know your way around codes and the world you live in is full of it, would you not take advantage of that?

as for fan characters,, uhh,, i have em

STARTING WITH MY WIFE!

Alexzandra Zara oh my god i forgot to draw her necklace and shirt

anyways,, Alexzandra is one of the more older ocs I have that didnt get a big revamp. Only an au I develop to the point I forgot the actual shows and the original cast are a little different from the source haha what? She’s the emotionally unstable german war veteran, yes the wife thing isn’t mutual, and haha shes only 27~. I cling onto her so much?? She’s hits a lot of “edgy” points but I still love her cause idk,, the story I made for her is something I hold dear cause Alexzandra was one of my first ACTUALLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER. Is it wrong to say I hold her really close to my heart? Is that weird? probably a little cringy sorry haha. I probably project a little into her which might have strengthened my love for her ack. Her story delves more into the depression very unstable needs to talk to someone side and i get scared talking about my wife’s story online so uhh, idk ask me specific questions about her, I’ll be more inclined to talk.

Dr Watts! The spoiled ass dick that stole dst Wilson’s house and yes this is a dst oc, yes im slightly sorry.

He’s just fun?? almost ran a blog with him and a friend’s oc. He’s your typical uptight old science gramps that took advantage of the fact that no one knows his real name that he calls himself a doc. He’s not. I put everything about him up to a 9-10? He’s one of those wacky characters and I love him for it! His story is really wonky tho so might need help solidifying that part 

and from the angry old man to my sweet man that will adopt you even if you’re noisy or call him ginger. Pilot here is a TF2 OC I made to interact with other tf2 OCs cause some of them are fun and i wanna join in :((

He’s the Canadian stereotype, and yes, he adopted scout, that was one of my character notes. 

Like the actual cast of tf2, there’s barely any real story to him. I only gave him a vague I don’t know my past but hey, i fly really really well. He participated in war unlike certain men but he’s still really nice and will only kill you if you hurt his family. Which he doesn’t know so he just considers the cast his family. He keeps mentioning a wife though, pretty sure he doesn’t have one but you do what makes you happy son.

Ai! an oc I HEAVILY revamped oh my god i hate her old vers. So if yall remember my random shouting of missing my og son, Aru. Here’s his bff. cause he barely has any actual friends that give a shit. And I just cant have that. but here’s your yandere revamped into a last minute addition. I actually feel like I did Ai a lot of justice. I don’t want to delve too deep cause I will start making charts. I’ll do that in a separate post if yall are keen

Isamu Aena! a mp100 oc I made by accident cause idk,, I was thinking about lolita fashion and all of a sudden, the actual oc I was going to make turned into a mob psycho oc. She’s one of my few ocs where her sexuality matters (she’s gay yeah) cause it plays a role in her storyline. She went from being “manipulated”/used to Mob’s wingwomen. She spots out things that can help him in the romantic department cause she’s into romance. A student of the school Mob infiltrated and a fantastic tailor, not to mention a pretty decent pyschic. wait where do models get their lolita stuff from,,

im gonna ignore that and move onto Lillian Yi! Who, i swear i did not meant for it, is very close to lloyd. I mean,, none of the ninjas were with him after s3, who you think he’d meet. Lillian is a survivor from the Great Devourour and yes I’m still pissed LEGO stole my backstory for Lillian to use for Harumi. FUCK YOU LEGO, i still love both of em tho,, The event did leave a big scar and it made Lillian job jumping for a bit, ending at Chen’s Noodles in S6~, where ya know,, stuff got better. She was a medalist for gymnastics and continue the activity, even after her parents’ death, to please others. She was already lost at the time so staying in the sport would help, right? Needless to say, after being rejected at a cop academy for youths, or something similar, she gave up for a while but got back into the idea of saving people by using her skills she already had. It helped with the weight and feelings and meeting the green ninja was a very big bonus. Also Lloyd dubbed her the “mysterious stranger” when she refused to speak in fear of her identity, slight shame, and maybe a bit of being star struck. It helped Lloyd too in a sense where he had something to distract him from Zane’s passing.

 Their relationship was eventually formed, strong and almost unbreakable, except for harumi but uhh thats a different story. Throughout the seasons, they stayed close and lloyd was always comforted by Lillian went times get ruff.

Also Lillian is my most light-hearted characters and I think that says a lot

Then there’s Nite “I don’t want to be your dad”. A character that is supposed to be in the ninjago world but barely interacts with the main story and only stays in his self contained plot. He was supposed to get a bf but uhhh idk. He’s the master of shifting and streams that online, taking out small crimes, and is actually really shy and doesn’t like interacting with people.

also haha fortnite

Nora Akino, the sin of despair! its an ad thing, I think. She speaks only in a foreign language that only Odin understands and is either big gay for Ava or Maggi, she can’t pick. And yes she did drink the vial, when TITAN attacks your planet and you accidentally die, how else can you meet your family again? also my grandpa walked in and said she looks like royalty. cool-

she wouldn’t leave my hand for like,, 3 days or something

Petri, a fellow troublemaker at camp campbell’s music camp. She managed to pick the camp because apparently a parent who doesn’t acknowledge your hard work don’t read the fine print! Please let David adopt her,,

LASTLY! Yukimaru Atsuko, hero name; Gummie. She goes by Yuki and is a big dick. She’s a studious student but gets more thrills on the actual battlefield. Living with her uptight grandma and her big bottom energy bro, she has the dom energy thing going. and apparently folks on G+, or the people who comment about her, thinks she’s really pretty, which was oddly a thing back before UA. She’s the dick you can like, not like Bakugou but she will definitely want to fight Bakugou. 

A gum-related quirk is not full of perks when its only your hands. I’d dive more into her like her insecurities and stuff but I’ve been here for probably 3hrs. Sorry anon.

Also I’m so sorry to anyone who reads this all the way through.

[kiyoitsukikage]

First Databook Character Sheets

Yoshi! @silalcarin asked me to do Hinata's concept art + Masashi-sensei's inteview (which, I discovered, is not really an interview, but a description of the pictures).

To be honest, I might have misinterpreted your request (maybe you just wanted the part regarding Hinata), but the interview was very interesting and I got carried away (especially after I saw that there was also something about Jiraiya). So...

Some terms you’ll meet in this interview:

- 設定 settei. I translated it with “setting”, “creation”, “design”, “character sheet” and so forth. Basically, it’s a character’s or a place’s concept art, to be used as a reference (it can be both for the artist’s staff, for the animators or for the artist himself, for later uses).

- 先生 sensei. It obviously means ‘teacher’, but it’s also the form you use when you speak to artists who became famous in their field: when they say sensei here, they mean Masashi Kishimoto.

- イメージ ime-ji. I often translated it with ‘mental image’. It’s a loanword from the English ‘image’, sometimes used as a verb meaning ‘visualise’. It has mostly to do with the author’s imagery of the world.

- 世界観 sekaikan. Literally, the ‘vision of the world’ (I translated it with various words). It’s the outlook of the fictional world, how the world of Naruto looks like. In this interview, it’s mostly used with the expression ‘slightly off’ (when Masashi-sensei decided to discard an idea because it would sound inconsistent/weird in the Narutoverse).

- 読切 yomikiri. ‘Non-serialised story’ (though I should have translated it as ‘one-shot’ or ‘pilot’ probably), as opposed to the Naruto serialisation. I guess they’re referring to this one. I think that’s something a newbie artist draws for manga editors, a sort of let’s-try-and-see-if-the-readers-like-the-story.

- 打合わせ uchiawase. I translated it as “preparatory meeting”, I guess that’s something the artist and the producers do before publishing stuff. It can also mean “previous arrangement”.

- 担当 tantou. Translated it with “the ones in charge”, maybe I should have gone with “supervisor” or something. But, ah, you get the idea.

There. The numbers correspond to the pictures. Anything between square brackets is something I added up to clarify my translation.

[Sideband:] Character sheets

The Nine-Tailed Mythological Fox Spirit

1

“This is the non-serialised Naruto”

The non-serialised Naruto had the appearance of a human, but he was a fox inside.

Though in the present setting the mythological fox spirit is sealed inside Naruto…

Before the serialisation was decided, I changed it in a preparatory meeting with the ones in charge of it.

The demon fox is intense, they said.

No matter if he takes a human shape, he’s a fox really, then the readers won’t be able to sympathise with Naruto… they said.

And I also ended up thinking something like… “that’s pretty true” (laugh).

2

“This is the Nine-Tails drawn for the first time”

This is the Nine-Tailed Mythological Fox Spirit I drew in the spur of the moment as the image expanded [in my mind].

And then, since I was pleased with it, I used it as it is also in the main event [as opposed to preparatory sketch].

I traced it with a lightbox (laugh).

For this reason, I drew nothing but that after all, the Nine-Tails (laugh).

However, also the appearance of the present world of “Naruto” spread from it in some respects. Of course, also things like the creation of the characters and the development of the story expanded.

So it’s like the concept art drawn in order to transmit the story and the setting to the staff, when you make a movie.

 [I always rejoice internally when I see an awesome artist being a lazy bum. Because retracing a previous painting is something I’d totally do.]

The faces on the Hokage Rock [lit: the Hokage Face Rock, though I couldn’t find a corresponding term in English – it’s only called the ‘Hokage Rock’]

1

“There was a dog”

That’s the only thing that could upset the present appearance of the “Naruto” world from the root (laugh).

As a matter of fact, the Third Hokage was a dog, at the beginning.

He was the dog the Second Hokage had, an exceptionally awesome dog, so I tried to make him elected as Hokage in the setting.

Though I thought “It’d be interesting if a dog stood at the summit of the village, what would happen…”

However, in the end I thought that it would be slightly off with the appearance of the world, and I gave it up.

That’s why the present Third was supposed to be a dog.

So I changed it right before the serialisation, erased only the face of the dog in a hurry and it disappeared in the trash (laugh). I used the other parts as they were though.

Hokage

[Actually I’ve read a post long ago in Tumblr where they answered exactly that question, and my greatest regret is that I haven’t saved it and now I can’t add a link here, because it was freaking hilarious]

2

“There’s a heinous face (laugh)”

My mental image of the Hokage wasn’t quite settled at first. The first and the Second… I had put an x-mark on the First, but they haven’t changed much from now since the mental image in relation to these two was good enough; however, the Third and the Fourth Hokage are impressively different.

The Fourth had a rather heinous face (laugh).

Well, I had various things going on in my mind.

Design sketches 

1

“The Grass Nin looked like a troop”

The Grass Nin looked like a troop but they couldn’t convince me and I changed them. So, I drew them again, but… this guy (on the bottom right) suddenly turned into Orochimaru, so… finally I was pleased with it and made up my mind about various things (laugh).

2

“Lovable pugs”

They are the ninja dogs I thought about when Kakashi uses the Earth Release: Tracking Fang Technique. There’s also Pakkun. I like pugs, because they’re cute (laugh). When I drew him, while I made them chat about various things in my imagination I expanded the character’s personality.

3

“The mental image had almost settled”

The jōnin I thought about before the serialisation began… I mean, the design sketch of the sensei and others. If you look at them, it’s already clear who was going to become which character. Well, if the mental image came clearly, I kinda made up my mind in one shot (laugh).

4

“I just drew it out of fun”

That’s just what I drew out of fun, right (laugh). This was what I drew once to convey my mental image of Hinata to my assistant though. I intended to draw it being aware of the appearance of the world, but… it turned into a more modern-style girl (laugh).

Discard

1

“The huge guy was deleted…”

He reached the level of rough sketch, but the just huge and unattractive guy was likely to be deleted from the moment he appeared already. In the preparatory meeting with the people in charge, we ended up saying “he doesn’t make your heart throb from a reader’s point of view, right?”.

Moreover, it was the scene that shows Gaara’s first battle, so I resolutely drew it again.

[In the first caption, it says 金太郎とペットのポチ Kintarou to petto no Pochi. I’m unsure about the meaning, I guess it’s the ‘pet called Kintarou’. Apparently, petto no Pochi is  something like ‘Spotty the pet’ (pet with a ridiculously common name).]

2

“I planned to use it in the Land of Waves volume”

Originally, there wasn’t Zabuza and I had planned to use this character. But I gave it up for the same reason of the discarded character of the page before. (Ah! It’s the character I had made earlier, haha…) I think just about the fact of making the enemy characters entry on stage, that is, how they’re likely to hurt the protagonists. [Twisted sentence here: I guess he means that when he creates villains, he also need to think how they’ll look appearing on the scene and the impact on the protagonists.]

3

“Serious taste…”

Naruto had just graduated from school so I thought it was okay even if I made him act in a funny way. However, it had turned completely like a story set in a school [学園もの gakuenmono I think it’s intended as a manga genre]… I had forgot about the whole “ninja” thing.

Sound effects lettering

Appearance pattern

1

“That’s incredibly unskilful”

That’s sound effects lettering practice. They’ve been incredibly poor from the time of the non-serialised story (laugh). I often practiced using various comic strips as a reference. Well, even now they’re not my strong suit really (laugh).

2

“Having a mental image of moving pictures”

It’s the thing in which I drew some pattern of the production of the scene where a ninja appears, or the scene where they disappear, having a mental image of moving pictures. Once inside your head, the action turns into a moving picture. Then, you draw thinking about the composition you cut out from there.

Signature

[The pictures in which he practiced his signature say (in this order): Masashi (with the ma and sa character written as one), Masashi (all linked together), Kishimoto Masashi (stand-alone characters), Kishimoto (above) Masashi (below, ma and sa together), Kishimoto Masashi (current signature).]

3

“That’s Naruto’s face together with the signature”

When I write my signature, I put the face of the protagonists. Well, that looks like the practice of that. The Naruto I drew here are all smiling, but I often thought what kind of expression I should do.

4

“I decided on the spot”

When the serialisation was decided, some friends came and saw me. So, make us an autograph, they said. That time, I ended up saying “Crap… I haven’t thought about my signature!” (laugh). I decided on the spot. Saying “Which should I choose, let’s do this” with my friends.

Jiraiya

1

“At the beginning, [I decided to] make a fatty middle-aged man”

I had decided from before the serialisation that Jiraiya would certainly appear even in “Naruto”, because of his fame in various ninja legends. At the beginning, I decided that I’d make him a fatty middle-aged man… that he’d transform in an unattractive-faced middle-aged man (like the picture at the very top) when he got angry or excited seeing pretty girls. That that’s why he got stronger when he transformed, but not good-looking. However, I thought that drawing him differently would have been troublesome (laugh). Though he was also supposed to use frogs that are carried on both his shoulders, in the same illustration.

Once, I made them do a two-man comedy act in the character sheet called “Husband and Wife Frog” (laugh).

However, it was difficult from the prospective of the design, so I also give it up…

  [I love how he dug out his old ideas, years later, to create Fukasaku and Shima and Jiraiya’s Sage Mode.]

Summoning Animals

2

“The oriental dragons and western dragons are different” [Actually, it’s “dragons and dragons are different”, with the first being ドラゴン doragon, the transliterated English word dragon, and the second being 竜 tatsu, the Chinese dragon]

This is the dragon I drew thinking that I’d make it Naruto’s summoning. In my mental image, Chinese dragons have a thin body. And western dragons are chubby and have big feet. So, that is an overly fat Chinese dragon (laugh). It became fat and looks like a western dragon…

3

“Speaking of ninjas, there’s the mental image of frogs”

That’s Gamabunta’s first design. But in the preparatory meeting, since he’s a toad I added warts and made him a toad. Then, I also decided to make him express himself in the Hiroshima dialect. So, I said “I come from the Okayama prefecture, near Hiroshima, so leave it to me” (laugh).

Frontispiece

1

“It’s a compilation of ideas”

Before the serialization, I drew some reasonable ideas for the frontispiece. I’ve almost never used them though (laugh). However, the picture in which [Naruto] is gardening appears (JC vol.3 pag.86).

2

“Imagining Naruto that makes graffiti”

That’s what I drew while thinking in what way I could make Naruto paint graffiti on the Hokage Rock.

It’s also the picture I thought I’d use in the first chapter, yes.

3

“I discarded it myself”

I drew it to use as the first chapter’s frontispiece, but when I thought that to point Naruto’s gaze towards the readers it became unnatural, so I discarded it. It was also slightly off with the appearance of the world (laugh).

Clouds

“Anyway, I love clouds”

That’s the thing in which I just drew Naruto and clouds imagining a moving picture, not to use or not use it.

I’ve liked clouds since I was a child, and also the sky (laugh). That’s why I love things like comics where there are clouds and the sky, and fantasy in which the clouds are whirly like the “Neverending Story” (laugh). I think I want to draw something like that once, too, though. It’d be nice one more whole chapter, a story in which they fly among the clouds (laugh).

...phew, that was long. But very interesting (artistically speaking)~

EDIT (CLARIFYING TRANSLATION)

So, @silalcarin asked me to include in this post something we've discussed about.

Her question was: Were Ibiki, Iruka, Kakashi, Hinata, Anko, etc., were all of these character sketches the earliest concept art? Were these characters the earliest characters Kishimoto created after Naruto himself?

(Apparently, there's a dispute about whether Sakura was created before Hinata or not. Silalcarin also provided me with a translation, made by Koshej back in 2013, which you can read here)

My answer: First of all: yes, they are early sketches. The first line of the paragraph says 連載が始まる前に, which is literally “before the serialization began”. I don’t know where that “I have designed the characters at a very early stage." comes from, to be honest: the Japanese raw of the title says イメージはほぼ決まってました, “the mental image had almost settled/I had almost made up my mind”. So, the other translation is not *wrong*, content-wise, but it’s not what the text says (more like a free interpretation of it). As for the order of creation, I admit I have no idea. The text doesn’t clearly say if they’re the very first characters, or if they’ve been created early in general. I think it’s difficult to say which characters he created first… because I remember I’ve seen other character sketches, which Kishimoto provided at the end of some Naruto chapters (I remember there were Iruka, Konohamaru, Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke as well), together with some other he discarded in the end. Long story short: 1) yes, Anko and co. are pre-serialized sketches, 2) Koshej’s translation is not wrong in general, but mine is closer to the original one (that’s why I had a hard time explaining the terms, and sometimes my translation is almost unreadable), 3) there’s no way to tell which character was created first after Naruto, unless you’re Kishimoto himself I guess (or at least, this databook doesn’t clarify it here).

So, uhmm, that's what I have to say on the matter. Silalcarin also gave me this link (in which you can read further thoughts on the matter)

Last but not least, I feel like to add a link to another interview I translated, from the fourth databook, in which they talk about character creation and such (unfortunately, the part about Sasuke's creation was too difficult for me to translate, so once again I can't give an answer to the question "were Hinata and company created before Sasuke and Sakura")

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 9: “Break Down Everything I’ve Built” - Jennet

JENNET

not to be rude but i hate this cast.... me winning immunity didnt even matter bc my bestie got booted tf...

(a little later)

feeling alone, im not even on a tribe anymore. im alone now not furcifer calumma or brookesia, just jennet

(after eating rice)

i know i sound dramatic asf but ffft i was so uneasy starting this game and i didnt feel comfortable or didnt feel excited to play until i started playing with ethan so i guess i relied too much on him but its like... now what?? where do i go from here? like sam, sammy, jones, and mikey voted to keep him so its like... here i am with low numbers again

(after taking a dip in the ocean)

immunity doesnt feel so good when ur number one ally gets sent home...

(after polishing the immunity necklace)

realizing that tonight ive been on the wrong side of both of votes so now im... reevaluating my position in this game. i have to break down everything ive built and start over and see who i can really trust right now

JONES

https://youtu.be/GY0DufoCyLE (after live night)

LOVELIS

So today's been way more eventful! I've had a great conversation with Jennet finally & got caught up on all the live night stuff, thought it was just a live competition that I wasn't able to attend but then I woke up to Ethan being gone LMAO but oh well! I've been targeted the past two rounds but I'm still here so I've just gotta work my options as best I can, and right now I do wanna with with Jessica the most. Apparently Shane put in a lot of work to keep me during live night & I'm thankful but earlier when I tried to talk to him he wouldn't divert from that point & it was a little awkward.. like idk what you want me to do about that... so today's mostly been catching up with the people who I haven't heard much from like Jake, Lindsay etc and seeing where their heads are at, I need to be more involved in something big if I'm gonna be seen as a potential winner should I make it to the end so I'm definitely not shy of jumping ship from Sharon and tryna make something better for myself with the people that voted for me hehe.. 😳😈

JENNET

looking at the memory wall and im feeling very: vulnerable

LINDSAY

12/19 - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q_KxHilwOebD8G3D8JAZsOMKdgsxFp-b/view?usp=sharing

JESSICA

I know in my last confessional I said I was close with Ethan. After I wrote that, I realized that he was a lot closer with other people than he was with me. Lindsay accidentally added him to an alliance chat and I expected him to freak out in my DMs (or at the very least ask me about it!) since we're supposed to be such good allies. But he didn't say anything! Shane said that he did get an Ethan freakout so I was like hmm... noted. Ethan likes Shane more than me so I am okay to vote him out a lot earlier than I was planning. Ethan also left out a LOT of information about the idols when we talked about them so I instantly knew at merge that he was hiding things from me. When we did that round robin conversation thing, I got Shane early on (I think he was the third person I talked to?) and he pitched voting Ethan which made a lot of sense to me. Plus I was a little worried Ethan could have had the Furcifer idol since he found that Brookesia one so fast. I figured if we were going to make a big move, that was the time to do it because if anyone was suspicious I could just pretend the whirlwind nature of the round was the reason they didn't know what happened. Speaking of idols!!! I'm 95% sure that Furcifer idol is in Sam's pocket. Shane had a vote extort power which he could play on anyone; it would force them to either reveal their entire voting history to this mysterious person OR they would have to give up their vote and sit out of immunity. I guess the vote part isn't public but the immunity part was and for some reason, Sam chose to not reveal his voting history. To Shane and Daisy, who don't know how the idols worked, this is a weird choice. But to me there's only one reason someone doesn't want their voting history revealed and it's because they didn't vote at a tribal which means they have an idol. Shane originally wanted to play the power on Mikey which I strongly did not want because 1) I already know how Mikey has voted and 2) I was pretty sure Mikey didn't have an idol so it's unlikely there was a tribal he didn't vote in and 3) If Mikey asked me about it, I didn't want to lie but I also didn't want to expose Shane. The question is.... does Sam's idol still work? If I had found the idol when I knew there was an easy boot on my team (he has to have found it before Pennino left), then I would have gambled as long as I could have to get the idol to work. My guess is Sam's idol goes until... f7? Maybe f6 or f5. Pennino probably left 3-1, not 4-1, but Sam's missing vote didn't matter because it was unanimous and wasn't read. For this round, right now everyone is probably voting Lovelis. It's the easy vote because he isn't here but personally I don't want to do that. Everyone says Lovelis is inactive but he isn't inactive to me and as far as I know, he is not going to flip on me and thinks I've been looking out for him. Which I have been! Also Lovelis cannot have an idol unless he somehow got the merge one. So to me it's like.... why not take out someone like Sam who (probably) has an idol? Or at least get him paranoid enough so he plays it. He seems like the kind of player who could easily stab me in the back so I'd like to get him before he gets me. Right now my tightest alliance is with Shane/Daisy, though I definitely talk about the game with Shane the most. However I also have good relationships with Lovelis, Sammy, and Mikey. I think Jennet and I are getting along well because as far as I know, I was the first one who told them Ethan's name was going around last time when everyone else seemed too afraid to tell them. They were not into that plan at all but I'm glad that I was honest with them because I don't want that to be a closed relationship at all! They also don’t seem to have a tonne of connections so they’re someone I'd like to keep close. And then Jones/Lindsay/Jake are people who I'm still getting to know but I do trust them.... a bit. I don't see that alliance of 6 lasting long term however I don't mind trying to stick with it to get Sam out before it disintegrates. I also think Shane is coming across as a threat which is great to me. I hope people don't think we're close because I really want to keep that relationship hidden. My entire game is about having everyone think they're my #1 (or at least my #2 or #3) so that they are less likely to leak things I tell them, less likely to vote for me, and more likely to look out for me. Information is power so I try to be in a position where I'll get as much of it as I can. So far it is working! I think. This is truly an essay

(a little later)

Oh also I never get episode titles in games so here are some: "Any way you slice it, it's Survivor madness!" "What a night, what a vote" "Please don't invite me to your messy party" "Social game is on 0!" "Survivor brings out the worst in you" "I'm a chameleon" Some of those are things other people said in other games but... oh well!

JENNET

apparently lovelis is rallying the troops to get them to vote for me bc i voted him out over madison... babe we NEVER spoke, and i spoke to madison ALOT why would i not vote u ? tf... its getting weird

JESSICA

LMAO IGNORE THAT LAST CONFESSIONAL That is not how the advantage works at ALL I now totally understand why Sam rejected it That’s so funny that we really read it that wrong.............. I love reading and comprehending the words that I read Still don’t know where that last idol is but this is so funny.

JENNET

so right now the only people i can trust are sammy, sam, jones, and mikey. i want to trust jake but hes in an alliance with jones, lindsay, daisy, shane, and jessica that he didnt tell me about. jones is playing double agent right now and the only reason i dont find that sketch is bc she told us info that she didnt need to. i will say me and jake had a convo about how we dont trust how shady lindsay has been and we wont target her until most of the og brookesia members are gone. im very scared right now but also very angry

(a little later)

had plans for this vote but sam got his vote taken away. im waiting to see what pops off at tribal/ the few hours before tribal before i can try to get the little band of misfits to settle on who to target first. so far its daisy and shane, i’ll try to sneak lindsay in but honestly i want daisy gone first bc shes hosted me and seen how i play and thats too much of an advantage. she’s dangerous to me and my game

JAKE

https://youtu.be/nZPMXTthz9Q yes I'm becoming paranoid and what?? say it to her face

JENNET

my dream boot order after this round (if lovelis is who goes): daisy shane jessica lindsay and then everything else can fold around itself but ideally jake is next to go

LINDSAY

videos r still uploading but here's my quick tea for this episode: feels way too easy to vote lovelis, keep expecting things to blwo up bc lovelis is throwing jennet's name out there. game way too quiet. shit aint right but i aint know whats wrong. i may be paranoid

JENNET

:ETHAN: ❤️ :JENNET: hours

SAMMY

so I feel like so much happened in this round? let's recap the live night and dive into our thoughts and feelings about where we are right now. So starting off after Madison is voted out, the plan throughout the day was to just vote out whoever stayed out of Madison/Lovelis, right? Okay so I go into this live event thinking that's the plan...not sweating...just chilling right? right okay so I get to talking to people and then I get in a chat with daisy who is my 3rd phone call? Then I hear of this plan to get rid of Ethan?? In my head I was like...blinks...okay so why are we doing this like what is the point y'all are being too complicated. So fast forward Ethan goes home. Then Jones lets me know there was a separate group made before tribal of Jake/Shane/Jones/Jess/Lindsay. Apparently all the people who voted Ethan? This actually pisses me off not gonna lie because I opened the door for a conversation hinting that I knew of a group to daisy/jess/Jake and none of them spilled to me. So I caught them in a lie and it lets me know that they are serious about that group of people and that alliance means something. I thought I was close to daisy and I thought she considered me her #1 ally but the info I have been getting really makes me trust her less. She was working on the idol/bridge with like so many other players which makes sense to how she was able to find so many powers. I feel used. She is close to Shane and it is obvious. I also 100% feel as if the Ethan plan was made before tribal or at least mentioned as an idea. I don't like the vibes I am getting from them and something has to change soon or I am gonna be finding myself in a rough patch. I told Jones about Daisy's powers to let Jones know that Daisy pretty much lied to Daisy about the street car ladies (sorry daisy I still love u but in the moment I felt used because I know ur bridge group is on like the late 30s and you didn't tell me). Daisy is playing the middle and I need to separate myself from her or at least break her and Shane up. She is using Shane as a shield. Also I was added to the justice league alliance and its so cute (Jones, Jennet, Mikey, Me, Sam) I love this group but I will say Sam is my weakest connection and I don't really have much trust in him? Hoping that will change in these upcoming rounds tho. Also, I told Jones about my vote block that lasts until final 5 which we could use to our advantage later in the game. I will be holding onto that as long as possible. The last major update other than me feeling somewhat left out of this "group" would be that Jess asked if I would be down to make a group after the vote of her/Jake/me/mikey which I would actually very much enjoy. Okay that is my longest confessional yet. I hope you enjoy. As of right now my top two allies are Jones/Mikey....Lowest on my trust rankings are Shane and Lindsay.

JENNET

lovelis dming me saying we should get out mikey pfftttt

DAISY

https://youtu.be/mz2Fg_Kvyqo

SAM

https://youtu.be/J81hUWIy6dg

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-dymdy5vjtHdwsY3JSTnovwaSRLvuzQt

JESSICA

me: lovelis will be a jury vote for me! me: nvm!!!! Not sure why being rude to people and attacking them is your strategy on the way out... but you do you!

LOVELIS

I think I mentioned chaos in my previous confessional and I think I just did that so you know what.. I'm content LMAO. I pulled out pretty much all the cards I had left to play this round and if it wasn't enough despite being carried the past two tribals.. then so be it. This has been such a fun past couple days and it's fun to just let loose and see what happens!

[franeridart]

I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.

;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!

Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!

I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!

Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!

But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!

Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?

Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha

Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?

If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha

Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!

OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing

I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.

And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!

Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!

Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!

Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?

Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D

Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)

Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!

She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D

Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot) 

Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!

Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O

Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0

!!!!! :D thank you!!!

Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)

I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha

Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.

OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!

Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?

A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha

Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)

Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!

Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!

YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!

Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha

Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day

This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;

Anon said:Dave!!! :D

Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D

Anon said:your art is Good

Thank You !!!!!!!!

Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much

SOB thank you?????

Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons

……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.

Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day

GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!

Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx

You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha

Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room

Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha

Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^

Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;

Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD

Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best

Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now

That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!

Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world

I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;

Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)

I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~

Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!

Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha

Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh

We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha

Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?

Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!

Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART

BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: we write kindness in marble

im very behind on @thinkoutsidethelovesquare​ but hopefully filling out these prompts slowly throughout the month will be ok with you all? sorry about the delay, this week has been very hectic

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Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Prompt: Day 2 - “Study Date” Pairing: Lilanette (Lila x Marinette) Title: we write kindness in marble Summary: Paris is new, strange, looming, and empty, and Lila doesn’t know if she’ll ever find one thing to like about it. When her frustration peaks and her grades start slipping, Marinette comes to try and bring in a kind gesture to soothe the ache.

we write kindness in marble

-fallimento // échec

.

If she was being brutally honest with herself, Lila expected a grade much lower than a 9. She supposed it was rather silly to feel proud of herself over that, especially as Mme. Bustier tapped her nails against the insuffisant that was written in red letters across the top of her exam, but even being one point away from a passable grade was the only thing keeping Lila from crying in frustration right in front of her teacher’s desk.

“Are you fluent in French, Lila?” Mme. Bustier asked.

Lila swallowed and waited a beat, a hesitation that always came before she dipped into French. “I can speak it pretty well,” she explained quietly. “And I understand all of it. It’s the reading and writing bit that I never got to practice much.”

“Your oral exam was wonderful,” Mme. Bustier explained. “And you follow along in class very well. But this didn’t seem like you didn’t study, dear. This seemed like you didn’t really understand the book very well.”

“It just takes me a long time to get through it all,” Lila admitted. “A lot of the words I don’t recognize and I have to always look them up. Even then, sometimes I only get the gist of what’s happening.”

“Have you tried reviewing with some of your other classmates?” Mme. Bustier recommended. “A lot of students tend to form small study groups to help them before exams.”

Lila bit down on the inside of her cheek and tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “I’m….not very close with anyone in class yet.”

Mme. Bustier picked up another pile of tests and flicked through the grades. “Well, if you’d like, I have a student in mind who’s doing rather well with the material who has tutored other students in the class. She’s a very sweet girl and I know she’d be able to help you catch up. I think you two would get along rather well.”

“I-It’s fine, madame,” Lila insisted. “I’ll just study harder next time. Start homework sooner.”

“Dear, I know this is frustrating. But I really do think you’d benefit from asking for someone else’s help. Just for a short while, and if it doesn’t help we can figure something out. This isn’t meant to punish you. It’s meant to help.”

Lila sighed and tried to ignore the ache in the back of her throat when she reached for her failed exam and stuffed it carelessly into her bag. “Alright. I’ll give it a try. Who’s the student?”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Mme. Bustier smiled. “Our class representative if you remember. Give me just a moment and I can write down a quick study schedule for you both.”

.

 -errore // erreur

.

 Lila never really saw the point in making friends.

Her father moved around with such frequency that they were only ever in cities for a handful of months before his job had them packing up and sending them off somewhere else unfamiliar. It got Lila used to never unpacking all of her boxes, never decorating her rooms, never bothering to memorize the streets around her neighborhoods, and never bothering to make close friends that she was only going to leave after a few short months. She’d made that mistake too many times already, and it was more effort getting used to the sting of losing your friends than electing to keep them at a respectable distance.

Of course that all changed when her father excitedly told her about a position he found in Paris that would be much more permanent than anything he’d found in the past. If all worked out well, they wouldn’t need to move for a very long while, and that opened up a prime opportunity for Lila to finally build something permanent.

She heard that the mayor’s daughter and the son of a very famous fashion designer would be in her class, and admittedly the desire to make new friends and fit in convinced her that it would be a good idea to pretend she was equally as well connected. It was almost too easy, lofty stories slipping off her tongue easier than she ever thought they would. But lies can only stretch so far before they snap. Lila just didn’t think that it would be Ladybug of all people to ruin that for her.

It wasn’t as if the class was angry with her. It was more a reluctance to interact with her past what was necessary and polite from a fellow classmate. No one sat next to her in class, no one invited her out to lunch, no one offered to study with her, and Lila wasn’t sure whether to be angry at herself for thinking lying would help or angry at Ladybug for toppling the popularity she’d managed to build up. She had no plans for fixing what was broken yet and had only been focusing on keeping her head down and doing well in her classes until she figured something out.

Figures that it would backfire marvellously in the form of her failing literature and needing the help of one of her classmates just to pass.

She only knew who Marinette was because she was often making announcements to the class, handing out surveys, and holding meetings to hear complaints from the class that she could bring to the principal. Pretty girl, very outspoken, always had a kind word to say to and about her classmates. She supposed it could be worse.

Lila rested her head on the kitchen table while she watched her father sign off on the study schedule that Mme. Bustier had given to Lila this morning. He reached over and patted her on the head. “Don’t worry, tesorina . You’re a smart girl. You’ll be able to pull your grades up no problem.”

She shielded her face with her arms and signed petulantly, not sure if it was worth telling him that all of this grade nonsense was only one of her problems.

.

-promessa // promesse

.

 Their schedule had them meeting after school three days a week until their next literature exam in a month and a half. Lila swapped out her books, trudged to the library, and found Marinette reserving an entire study table for them by the windows.

She had her earbuds in and was nodding along to her music while she sketched in her pink, monogrammed notebook, and it took Lila clearing her throat a couple of times and pulling out the chair next to her before Marinette sat up and pulled her music out. “Hey, you made it!” she exclaimed, reaching across the table and pulling their assigned novel in front of her.

Lila rested her bag on the table and pulled out her own novel and all of her notes. “Sorry I got held up,” she said. “I couldn’t find the library for a bit.”

“You’re fine,” Marinette smiled. “I was just killing time. Do you have all your things?”

“I just brought my book and my notes. Do I need anything else?”

“That’s enough. I don’t think we’ll need much anyway.” She reached down to where her bag was resting on the floor and shuffled through it until she pulled out her own notebook. “Do you want to just get started? If you need to run out and get a snack or coffee or something I can wait.”

Lila shook her head. “I’ll feel a lot better if we can just get this over with as soon as possible.”

Marinette nodded once. “Fair enough. You wanna start by going over your test first?”

Once Lila swallowed back the embarrassment of needing another classmate’s help with a subject she couldn’t pass on her own, Marinette was a rather pleasant teacher. They spent most of their time going through all of the incorrect answers on Lila’s exam and writing out a detailed correction sheet for her filled with notes on characters, major plot points, notable symbols, and recurring themes that Marinette promised her would be repeated on the next exam. Then Marinette dragged her chair closer, opened Lila’s book to the reading that was due tomorrow, and managed to help her get through half of it, circling words for her that Lila didn’t know the definitions to and teaching her how to mark up her book so that she could keep track of what was important. By the time an hour had gone by, Lila had four pages worth of notes and a pseudo vocabulary list of words that tripped Lila up.

“We’re not going to meet again until Friday, so see if you can finish the rest of the reading by yourself. If there’s a word you don’t know, write it down after you look it up. And always make a note next to the thing you underline so that you know why it’s important when you go back to study. You can bring your vocab list back Friday and I can quiz you on them before we try doing that day’s readings. Is that alright?”

Lila nodded as she finished writing down the end of her sentence. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”

“Great,” Marinette replied. “I think we only have two really short writing assignments coming up before the test aside from all the reading we have to do, but if you need help with the assignments just bring them to me and we can work on them together. You have any questions?”

“No questions, just….processing,” Lila sighed. “We went over a lot.”

“Yeah, I know,” Marinette winced apologetically. “Don’t try and retain it all right now. Take a break when you get home and come back to it. I think our block is up anyway.”

Lila blinked and looked over her shoulder at the clock hanging over the entrance of the library. “Wow, that went by quick.”

“I guess that’s a good thing,” Marinette chuckled. “Before you go, mind if I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“I know you tend not to sit next to anybody during any of the lessons, but would you mind if I sat next to you during literature? I can help you if you get lost, and you can take copies of my notes for the first couple of weeks if it’ll help you.”

Lila raised a brow. “You don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind? I’m offering.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but no one’s really flocking to sit next to me or chat with me after class. It’s sort of been that way for the past two weeks. Don’t think I need to tell you why.”

“No, I noticed,” Marinette mumbled, looking down at her notebooks and suddenly looking discomforted for the first time since they sat down. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to everyone about that. It’s not fair to you.”

“It sucks, but I’d say it’s fair. Besides I don’t need you standing up for me. I’m fine.”

“You’re new,” Marinette said firmly. “No one should be avoiding you and making your time here uncomfortable. And it’s not like I’m treating this as a charity. It bothers me personally so I want to say something.”

Lila snorted. “That’s oddly noble of you.”

“Not noble. Just kind.”

“I sort of lost any right to kindness, don’t you think?”

“No I don’t,” Marinette countered. “I’m not going to sit here and coddle you and tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be cruel to you. You’re not some criminal that needs to be punished.”

Well, that was certainly something about Marinette that Lila hadn’t been expecting. Lila noticed the way Marinette’s eyes hardened with earnesty and her body leaned in close to Lila as if to convince her that she wasn’t repulsed and that she was serious. It was strange that Marinette would care this much, but maybe this was just how the girl was and Lila was meant to get used to it. “You don’t have to get so uppity about it.”

Marinette swallowed and leaned back in her chair, noticing her position. “Sorry. It’s just….it’s been bothering me.”

Lila almost wanted to thank her simply because feeling sorry for her was much preferred than feeling apathetic towards her. But the point of these study sessions wasn’t so that Marinette and Lila could have a heart to heart. “Look. Can you promise me something? Can we just not talk about this while we’re studying? I kinda don’t want to have to think about it unless I have to.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Marinette apologized. “I just figured since I’m helping you, you should know. I’m doing this because I want to, not because madame forced me or because I feel bad. But I won’t bring it up anymore, I promise.”

“Thanks,” Lila sighed in relief. “And, yeah, I guess sitting together in class will help.”

“Perfect,” Marinette grinned. “Oh, make sure you take my number too! If you need help with homework, just text.”

After they swapped numbers, Lila pretended that she was going to stay for a couple more minutes to go over her notes so as to avoid the awkward and probably silent walk the two of them would make leaving the building together. Marinette wished her good luck on the homework before jogging down the steps to the library. While Lila slowly packed up the rest of her books, she chanced a look outside the window and saw that Marinette lived above the bakery across the street from the school. She smirked, remembering that the baguettes she’d bought from there on her first day in Paris was the only good memory she had of that day amidst all the homesickness and laborious unpacking.

Lila flung her back over her shoulder and checked her pockets for her bus money as she left the library. What a funny coincidence, she thought.

.

-rivedere // réviser

.

 “ Pourri….Marcio.” Rotten.

Lila flicked the index card by her feet and read the french word on the next one before pressing it to her chest. “ Étonant…..” She bit her lip and pressed a hand to her forehead. “ Sorprendente?”  Surprising? She flipped the card and sighed in relief when she’d gotten it right.

She was laying in her bed in one of the bathing suits she’d bought when they moved back to Sicily a few months ago, mainly because it still smelled like sand and sea salt and she woke up missing the beach today. The space heater in her room was running full blast, and despite the fact that it dried up the air and made her room feel stuffy, but if she closed her eyes and pointed her desk lamp directly at her, it almost felt like she was sunbathing on the beach. Of course, the effect was ruined when Lila looked out the window and saw the overcast Parisian skies and the trees shaking with the chilly, autumn wind starting to roll in, but it was one of her better attempts at trying to mimic the warm, Southern weather she was used to.

“ Aveugle. Cieco.” Blind.

The homesickness hit her a little later than it usually did, but yesterday her grandmother had express shipped a small case of cannolis to their apartment in Paris along with a small box full of all her Italian dessert recipes, and Lila just started crying right in the middle of the kitchen hard enough for her father to pull her into his lap and try to calm her down. She felt silly about it afterwards, but in the moment it felt like her chest was about to burst with all the tears that felt like they weren’t pouring out quick enough. All she could think about was being able to walk just two blocks down to her grandmother’s house in Sicily, smell sardines cooking on the stove, and hear her singing old songs in beautiful Italian while she swept her terrace.

Lila had the ocean, had the sun constantly tanning her skin, had children running with water guns right outside her house, had gelato carts rolling along the beaches with bells attached to their carts. Now she came home from school feeling so tired because it felt like everything that felt inextricable from her was slowly being sapped out and physically slowing her down.

“ Veuve. Vedova .” Widow.

The worst part was that all the glossy photos that Lila had seen of Paris when she was younger that had then seemed so beautiful were now completely ruined. Everything hurt too much for her to appreciate it and it often felt like she was missing so many wonderful things that were slipping past her, just out of reach, too far away for her to grab and hold up close. Lila needed beautiful things right now. Needed to feel like even in a place so devoid of everything she loved, there were new things she could stuff into her heart to make it feel full.

And she was desperate for it. Especially now that it seemed farther away from her than it ever had before. Some days, she didn’t even blame Ladybug for anything — she mostly blamed herself for being stupid enough to think that beautiful things came to you with lies.

She just wanted to be able to stare at the Seine without wanting to scream. She wanted to be able to take the bus through Paris without wanting to scratch out the windows. She wanted to be able to comfortably say her French r’s without feeling like they were sticking to the back of her throat and making her choke.

Lila pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, counted to ten, and blinked away the pressure.

“ Prière. Preghiera.” Prayer

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-liberare // libérer

.

 “Are you okay?”

Lila lazily lifted her head from her book and turned to Marinette who was sitting next to her and reading out loud. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled. “What’s the matter?”

Marinette kept her brows furrowed at her for a few seconds before she tapped the words in the book that Lila had been trying to read for the past half hour. “You know that word,” Marinette stated. “We went over it last week and you’ve gotten it right after that. You’re circling it now.”

“I forgot it,” Lila shrugged, too lazy to copy the word over into a list of unknown words that just kept growing longer and longer, a testament to how far she still had to go to catch up to everyone else.

But the excuse didn’t seem to stick because Marinette pulled Lila’s list of words over and dragged the end of her pencil down the last few ones she’s written since they started studying that afternoon. “You know more than half of these I know you do,” she insisted. “You’re distracted, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing’s the matter,” Lila sighed, dragging a hand down her face. “And even if something was, it’s none of your business.”

“If it’s getting in the way of you studying and getting better, then yeah, it is my business.”

Marinette admittedly didn’t deserve the glare that Lila sent her from the corner of her eyes, but to her credit Marinette didn’t flinch and waited for Lila to give her a more satisfying answer that unfortunately Lila wasn’t in the headspace to give.

They’d been studying together for a little over a week and so far it was perfectly seamless. They kept up their meetings in the library after school and Marinette was pretty good about only discussing homework when they sat together. She interrupted only when she was explaining a word to Lila or correcting her about a plot point in their book. While sitting together in literature class turned a few heads the first day, it became a new normal for Lila as well. Marinette took ridiculously detailed notes that Lila was thankful to have access to, and it was nice to have someone she could discreetly whisper to in the middle of class when she needed clarification on something their teacher said without getting lost. It was familiar without it being personal, and Lila was surprised to find that following along in their book was getting just a little bit easier.

But so far Lila was taking this tutoring as a necessary evil and not an opportunity for making friends, which is why she tended to subtly steer conversations in different directions when Marinette asked how her weekend was or asked her what she thought of their difficult math lecture earlier that morning. It was just easier to separate the two, and a part of Lila really just wanted to get her grades up before she started pulling her hair out over friends.

It seemed like her homesickness was a flu that was making her more depressed and more irritable and a part of her really wanted to just scream about it but Marinette didn’t need to know what was festering inside of her and she was going to keep it that way. So she shut her book and turned her chair towards Marinette. “No, it’s still none of your business. You’re not privy to what’s going on in my life. We study together. That’s it.”

“You don’t have to pour your heart out to me,” Marinette said. “But it’s obvious you’re upset and it’s obvious you’re not really focused on working at the moment. So if something’s the matter — if you want to talk or you want to just stop for the day — you can tell me.”

Lila pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her arms. “I’m fine,” she said, her voice choking up with the weight of her annoyance. “It’s nothing.”

Marinette sighed as she reached over and shut all of Lila’s books. “You’re not fine. Come on. Tell me what’s up. Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t help, Marinette!” Lila snapped in frustration. “I’m serious. Just leave it alone. Just give me a minute I-I….I’m tired. Okay? I have a lot going on, that’s it.”

“I mean, I figured as much,” Marinette frowned. “You look like you’re about to scream.”

“I’m going to scream if you keep pushing….”

“I’m not pushing! I just want to know—”

“ Cazzo , what do you want to know!?” Lila hissed, all of her words spilling out in Italian and shocking Marinette back until she was pressed against the back of her seat. “That it feels like the longer I’m in this stupid city the more I hate it? That I can’t stand the weather or the people or where I live or this stupid school full of people who won’t even talk to me anymore because they think I’m some kind of selfish brat? That I just wanna be back where my family is and where my old friends are and where everything is familiar and not some huge, lurking thing to get used to?”

She reached forward and picked up their novel, waving it angrily in between them. “And I’m tired of reading this stupid book! I’m tired of feeling like an idiot because this isn’t my first language and it takes me longer to catch up. I don’t care about French and I don’t care about understanding everything I just want to fucking go home!”

Her voice had gotten loud enough for the librarian to come over and scold them, but Marinette had quietly promised them that they wouldn’t be any more trouble while Lila pressed her face into her hands and pushed her hair away from her face. She wished the floor would just swallow her whole, and she was barely paying attention to Marinette packing up both of their books and slinging both of their bags over her shoulders. Marinette tapped Lila on the shoulder and yanked on her hand. “Come on.”

Lila snatched her hand back. “Stop it. Please stop it.”

“No, you’re coming with me,” Marinette instructed. “Come on. Get up. We’re done for the day.”

She wanted to tell Marinette to buzz off, but it didn’t look like Marinette was a person to be crossed when she was staring at people with eyes that told everyone she wasn’t taking no for an answer. It wasn’t as if staying in the library was any more appealing, so Lila rolled her eyes and got up from her seat, following Marinette out of the library and back towards their locker rooms on the bottom floor. Marinette stopped them at her locker, looked through her books on the top shelf and pulled out an unopened water bottle that she pressed into Lila’s hands. “Here, sit down and drink.”

“I’m not thirsty,” Lila mumbled.

“Don’t care,” Marinette shrugged. “Sit down and drink at least half of it.”

Too tired to argue, Lila relented and sat down on the floor of the locker room right in front of Marinette who sat cross legged on the floor as well. Lila took her time downing the water bottle and pressing her head back against the locker she was leaning against while Marinette patiently sat with her and waited until her expression smoothed out and she had a moment to herself to breathe and clear her head. They sat like that together for about fifteen minutes before Lila handed off the empty water bottle to Marinette and pulled her hair back into a ponytail so it was out of her face and allowed her to feel fresh faced and clear headed.

“Better?”

Lila nodded. “Yeah.”

Marinette smirked. “Felt good to yell, huh?”

Lila laughed. “I guess so. Yeah.” She dropped her hands in her lap and cleared her throat. “Did you catch any of that ranting earlier, or….?”

“Sorry, don’t know a lick of Italian,” Marinette chuckled. “But judging from the fact that you’re struggling with the language, just moved here, and haven’t really made friends yet….I can guess why you look so miserable. But if I’m wrong, then forget what I said.”

“No, no,” Lila said. “That’s….pretty much right.”

Marinette wrinkled her nose. “I know it’s not really going to help, and I can’t say I totally understand what you’re going through. But I’m sorry. And if you want to really talk about it — you know, not just scream in my face in Italian? I’m always here.”

“I don’t need friends to come and coddle me over this,” Lila replied.

“And that’s fine. I’ll just be your tutor and we don’t ever have to be more than that. But if you want a friendship and you want someone to complain to, you can always have it with me. I promise I won’t bite.”

Lila snorted. “I guess that’s comforting.”

“Get home and rest a little bit,” Marinette suggested. “Nap before you start your work up again. If you do that for me, we’re cool.”

“Are you going to check in on me or something?”

“I have your number so Facetime is a thing. I’ll totally bug you to make sure you’re in bed napping, but I was hoping we could just work on the honor system here.”

It was such a silly response that it left Lila smiling harder than she remembered doing in weeks. And that was a silly almost horrifying realization to come to, and it wasn’t until just then that she realizes how awful it was to just move through her routine of school, home, homework, and sleep without anyone else there to ease the mundanity and unfamiliarity for her. Marinette was brilliant and sweet, but she was also stubborn and pushy and not one easily crossed. Not the type of person that Lila thought she’d get close to during her first few months here at school, but she supposed it wasn’t the worst she could do.

Besides, Marinette had matched her own smile, and just being able to sit there in that locker room after school with the both of them grinning up their ears helped alleviate some of the aching in her chest that had been paining her for days.

.

-visitare // visiter

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 A few days later, a student two classrooms down was akumatized right after the lunch pause.

It pretty much destroyed the library and the entire courtyard near the entrance of the school, but Ladybug’s magic had at the very least restored everything to its original splendor once the fight was over.

Lila had heard stories of Papillon, Chat Noir, and Ladybug and had seen akumas in the news before coming to this city. At the time it had seemed like such a terrible and horrifying reality for the citizens of Paris, but strangely enough it was the first thing that Lila had become accustomed to. This was the fourth akuma attack she’d seen, not counting the attack where she’d been the victim herself. A lot of her classmates had been akumatized as well, and it was treated as an unconventional but normal reality for all of them now. Lila merely stayed holed up in one of the physics rooms and watched the news on her phone until it was over.

But when Lila had started to head to her next class, Marinette had found her in the hallway and gently took her elbow.

“School’s always cancelled after akuma attacks happen inside,” Marinette explained.

“But everything’s been fixed.”

“They still close the school earlier. I guess just to give everyone a break after all the excitement? But yeah, we’re probably not going to be able to use the library today to study.”

“We have a writing assignment due tomorrow,” Lila said worriedly. “I still need help with it and I’m afraid to turn it in without you looking at it.”

“Don’t worry, I know,” Marinette soothed. “I figured if you’re willing to hang around for a bit you could just come and study at my house if that’s alright with you? I’m just across the street. My parents should still be in the bakery working, so we’ll have plenty of peace and quiet.”

Lila blinked, not expecting the sudden friendly gesture. “Oh. Um. Yeah, so long as it’s okay.”

“It’s not a huge deal,” Marinette shrugged. “My parents won’t mind.”

Marinette’s apartment smelled like bread and the fresh linens that were still folded in a basket on the floor by the couch. It was small, but it looked lived in — bottles of spices were still on the counter and not put away, the dishes from breakfast weren’t done, and the refrigerator was covered in notes, reminders, notices from school, and a couple of très bien ’s Marinette had gotten from school. She could just barely see photos of Marinette as a toddler, family vacations, and reunions were dotted about the apartment and it made Lila smile despite the small flit of nostalgia she got when she realized her house in Sicily used to look like this too.

When they went up to Marinette’s room, Lila realized that it was a completely different monster — it was like a quick preview of Marinette that Lila hadn’t been privy to before. There were dressforms, half-made dresses draped over her chaise, and a sewing machine sitting on her desk, meaning she probably did a lot of sewing and designing. Her walls were covered in design sketches, tear outs from fashion magazines, and photos of her friends from school. Her desk was cluttered with cork boards, small drawers, mason jars filled with pencils and charcoals, and about five mugs of cooled tea and coffee that she hadn’t bothered to take downstairs.

Marinette cleared all the fabric and clothes from her chaise and dumped them all on her desk chair. “Sorry about the mess. I never got a chance to clean it this morning. You can sit on the chaise. Oh, and feel free to throw your jacket on my bed.”

Lila sat cross legged on the chaise and shook her head. “No thanks, I’ll keep it on. It’s a little chilly in here.”

“Chilly? It’s only seven degrees out.”

“Well, that’s the dead of winter where I’m from.”

“Oh sweetie,” Marinette chuckled. “This is nothing. It drops down to zero in the wintertime. Sometimes lower than that.”

“Are you serious?” Lila exclaimed.

Marinette sat down in front of her and brought over her own bag. “Where are you from again?”

“Sicily,” Lila grumbled. “And I’ve lived in Spain, Portugal, and Greece. It was never that cold there.”

“That’s because you probably lived in the Southern parts of all those countries. Is this the first time you’ve been this up North before? You know it snows here, right?”

“Don’t remind me.”

Marinette frowned and leaned back behind her chaise and plugged something into the wall. “I mean, I can turn on the space heater for a bit if it’ll make you feel better. Not for too long, otherwise I’m going to start sweating to death.”

“Your room is freakin’ cold Marinette, are you insane?”

“You’re going to get throttled by the weather when it starts to really get cold out. Please tell me you have a jacket thicker than that.”

Lila pouted. “What’s wrong with the one I’m wearing?”

“It’s not thick enough. You need warmer autumn jackets and proper winter jackets. Boots, thermals, tights, hats, gloves, and scarves.”

She groaned and leaned back against Marinette’s pillows. “This country is an oppressive tundra,” she muttered in Italian.

Marinette snorted and looked around her room. “Alright, how about this. Let’s start with a hat and a scarf, huh? Do you like orange?”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ve been starting to crochet stuff for the winter. Leg warmers, scarves, hats, and other things like that. My aunt dumped some orange wool on me that I used to make a scarf and a hat, but none of my friends like orange so I’ve just held onto them.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

Marinette looked back at her and rolled her eyes. “Do you want them?”

“You’re giving them to me?”

“I mean, you’re still in your jacket and I have the heat running even though it hasn’t even hit five degrees. That’s possibly the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen, how could I not give them to you?”

“Oh shut up! At least I wouldn’t sunburn beyond recognition if I spent two minutes back where I’m from.”

Marinette winced as she looked through the drawers in her desk. “I bet you’d get some sick pleasure from that, wouldn’t you?”

“It would fill me with unimaginable joy.”

“Maybe when we’re done I’ll show you pictures of the time we went to Southern France for a vacation to all the really warm beaches. I forgot my sunscreen and came home looking like a tomato. After that I hated the summer and any warm weather.”

“That’s disgusting. People die in the cold.”

“People die in the heat!”

“It’s easier to die in the cold, I’m sure there’s research that says that.”

“Oh just hush up and take your scarf and your hat.”

Lila stuck out her tongue, but held her arms out and accepted the matching beanie and scarf that were thrown at her. They felt ridiculously warm, and wool was a beautiful burnt sienna that reminded Lila of a warm sunset. She flipped the beanie inside out and observed the stitches. “You made this yourself?”

“Mmhm. Crocheting was the first thing I learned how to do before my mom taught me how to use the sewing machine.”

“You sure I can have them?”

“I insist you have it,” Marinette replied. “I crochet mostly because it’s relaxing, and I wind up with all of these projects I never wear. You’re doing me a favor, don’t worry. Hopefully that’ll keep you warm in this freezing weather.”

“Thank you. And bite me.”

“You’re welcome. And rude. Feel like starting our homework yet?”

Lila shut her eyes and winced. “Is it obvious I’m avoiding it?”

“It only has to be a page,” Marinette soothed, patting Lila on the head that felt incredibly friendly but not altogether unpleasant. “It’s not that bad. I’ll help you.”

Two hours later they were surrounded by all of their literature books, arguing over their annotated copies of the books, and crumpling up drafts of their assignments and throwing them around the room while they tried to reach the word count. Because Lila refused to stay if Marinette turned off the space heater, Marinette wound up loudly complaining as she changed into a tanktop and an old pair of shorts and begging to leave at least one window open a crack while Lila hummed happily as she worked. She recognized that Marinette could’ve easily shut the thing off for the sake of her own comfort — this was her room after all — but Marinette had said something about not wanting Lila to freeze her precious little toes off and left it at that. It was a miniscule gesture in the grand scheme of things, but Lila appreciated it. Besides, she was sure the scarf Marinette had given her would come in handy when it started raining tomorrow.

That kind of thoughtfulness was added onto the ever increasing list of things Lila was learning about Marinette now that she was getting to spend the afternoon with her in her natural habitat. She was funny , and their strange habit of picking fun at each other was ridiculously fun to fall into and often left one of them laughing so hard they accidentally knocked books and binders to the ground. She also had this terrible habit of fidgeting while she studied and she needed to always be clicking a pen or rolling an eraser in between her hands to get her to concentrate long enough to get some actual work done. When she offered to go downstairs to make them fresh coffee, Lila found out she dumped a ridiculous amount of sugar inside and also that she painted all of her mugs herself one afternoon when she was grounded. It sharpened the edges of this blurry and tentative impression that Lila had of Marinette this entire time, and by the time they both successfully finished their assignments, Lila actually found herself getting disappointed at the thought of going home.

“You didn’t do that bad!” Marinette encouraged when she read Lila’s assignment over. “Just a few grammar things and word choice issues, but everything else was so great.”

“I don’t feel like I’m getting better yet,” she frowned. “You helped me with it a lot.”

“I’ve only been helping you for about two weeks. Besides, you’ve improved plenty. You’re understanding a lot more of the book now then you did before. That’s improvement.”

“It doesn’t feel quick enough,” Lila complained. “Our next test is coming up and I really want to do well on it.”

Marinette reached over and tapped Lila on the side of the nose until she was looking up at her. “You’re going to do well,” she said, sounding staunch and determined. “You’re really smart, and you try hard. You’ve got time to get your grades up.”

“I hope you’re right,” she frowned.

“I have faith in you,” Marinette smiled.

By the time Lila had to go back home, Marinette had somehow convinced her into taking home a free sample of some of their best pastries in the bakery downstairs along with a small tin of the coffee she’d served Lila that she’d found so delicious. She wasn’t sure if Marinette realized the significance of essentially sending Lila back home with a care package filled with homemade gifts, but Lila still appreciated how pleasant it felt to finally have someone from this new city think of her in such a way. She’d have to think of a way to pay her back for it all somehow.

Perhaps she’d be interested in taking a peek at her grandmother’s recipe box. There were some good Italian sweets that she might be interested in trying out.

.

-spostare // déplacer

.

lila: i failed

marinette: you didnt fail. pay attention

lila: im p sure i failed

marinette: there is no proof of that. i quizzed you the nite before myself. you did fine

lila: i forgot to include the weather symbolism. im screwed

marinette: you didn’t have to mention that shush and pay attention

lila: marinette i FAILED

Marinette subtly smacked Lila’s knee under the desk and gave her an exasperated look before pointing at Lila’s notebook. “Stop stressing,” she whispered, using the person sitting in front of them as a cover. “Just pay attention to the lesson and whatever happens happens.”

“I can’t,” Lila frowned. “It’s been bothering me all week.”

“There are going to be two more tests this year. Even if you did do badly you have other chances to do better and you can make it up then.”

“Oh great!” Lila said, giving a pained smile. “A bigger target for me to miss.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and pushed Lila’s notebook against her hand while she typed out another text from her lap.

marinette: so you have it in writing: i swear on my sewing machine that you did well on this exam and that you will continue to do well in the rest of the class. screenshot for your reference

lila: thats like swearing on the bible for u

marinette: exactly. so shut up

Lila let out a small whine and dropped her head on her desk, not caring much about taking notes or paying attention when they were only ten minutes away from getting their grades back from their latest exam and finding out whether Lila was doomed in this class. Mme. Bustier had set a goal of an 11 on this exam so that she’d at least have a passable grade that she wouldn’t be embarrassed to show her father. The logical part of her mind was telling her that everything was probably fine. Marinette had spent close to a week helping Lila prepare for it — testing Lila on her vocab, practicing her writing, practicing her oral, and quizzing her on every conceivable portion of their novel that they could think of. But Lila wanted to stop feeling like a stranger in this new place she was meant to call home, and part of that involved being able to do well in her classes because she actually had a good enough handle on the language to be able to hold herself up.

She wasn’t usually this anxious about grades, and the way her stomach was twisting around in her gut was making her want to crawl under her desk, but Marinette was rubbing comforting circles against her back and quietly trying to give her all the reassurances she needed.

That was new for them. Ever since that first afternoon they spent studying at Marinette’s house, something had shifted and grown between them. They stopped spending time at the library and started the routine of going to Marinette’s house after school instead. The two of them sitting a foot apart on the chaise had now turned into the two of them lazily laying out on Marinette’s carpet or on Marinette’s bed while they played music, took snack breaks down at the bakery, and spent their downtime laughing and talking. Marinette loved talking about her designing, Lila loved talking about all the places she lived before, and the both of them always had conversations that kept Lila at Marinette’s house for hours. They even extended their tutoring sessions to include doing the rest of their homework together, and Lila enjoyed the fact that she was just a little bit better at maths than Marinette was.

Texting in and outside of class became a common occurrence too, and it wasn’t a full day until Marinette sent Lila links to possible pairs of real snow boots — “no, you cannot wear suede in the snow and those boots will not keep your feet warm, we talked about this Lila” — and until Lila sent Marinette entire photo albums of Sicilian fashion as inspiration for all of the clothes she was starting to make in preparation for when the summer finally came. Lila couldn’t remember the last time she’d ever stayed up until three in the morning texting someone about nonsense and been happy to lose the sleep the next morning.

Lila wasn’t an expert on friendship, but she figured that once you laid your head in another person’s lap during a study session, laughed at their music collection, and shared private jokes over text late at night, you sort of had to assume the label. They’d never expressly spoken about it, but Lila found that the two of them didn’t need to. Sometimes you could look at a person and just know from the feel of their touches and the sincerity of their eyes that you were both on the same page, and hanging out with Marinette never needed any clarifications.

And perhaps that was another reason that Lila was gripping the edges of her desk nervously as Mme. Bustier announced how the class did on the test as a whole. She didn’t want all this studying and closeness to all be a waste because Lila hadn’t improved on her schoolwork like she wanted to. She had a feeling Marinette wouldn’t be angry or annoyed with her even if she did do poorly, but there was a still this feeling that she’d disappoint her if she didn’t perform a certain way. Because, as much as Lila wouldn’t have admitted this a few weeks ago, she was incredibly grateful. School wasn’t terrifying, waking up in the mornings wasn’t exhausting, and staring out her window at the Parisian cityscape no longer made her feel like she was trapped in a strange world she’d never grow to love. Marinette deserved to have some of that kindness handed back to her.

The moment Mme. Bustier left Lila’s exam face down on her desk, she snatched it up and pressed it to her chest, counting down the moment before she flipped it over. “I don’t want to look at it.”

Marinette quickly stared at her own grade, set her exam aside, and reached out for Lila’s hand. “Here. Squeeze as hard as you can. And count down from five.”

“Count down with me.”

Marinette laughed, but counted down with Lila until she flipped over the paper and quickly searched the top of the page for her grade. Once she found it, she gripped the sides of the paper hard and felt her smile stretch wide enough for her cheeks to hurt. Marinette squealed and covered her mouth with her hands while Lila started laughing in complete disbelief. It was a 13.

“ Grazie dio!” Lila exclaimed in relief as she leaned over the back of her chair with her arms above her head while Mme. Bustier smiled at her and offered her a quick congratulations. “Oh man, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

Marinette wrapped both of her arms around Lila and rested her cheek on her shoulder while they both flipped through her exam. “I told you you’d do well on it!” she gushed. “This is so great, I’m so happy for you!”

“I got some questions completely right,” Lila gasped. “Like some of them were completely right, I can’t even believe this.”

Marinette sat there laughing at Lila’s complete delighted confusion over her test and couldn’t help but laugh as she said, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Please,” Lila said with an eye roll. “There was no way I could’ve done this without you helping me.”

“So? You sat for that test all by yourself, and you did a hell of a lot better than you did before we started studying together. You deserve that grade.”

“I’m not going to pretend you weren’t a huge help,” Lila pointed out. “I’d have failed this without your helping me.”

“Nope, don’t you do that,” Marinette announced haughtily, pulling Lila’s chair around so that it was facing her while Lila tried her hardest not to laugh at the antics. “Listen to me, you foolish coldphobic girl.”

“That’s still not funny. Especially when you’re heatphobic.”

“That is not even true, and you’re distracting me from my point,” Marinette teased, flicking Lila on the nose. “I just mean that….I’m glad I could help you, but I still say this was mostly you. Considering everything you’ve had to get used to — the move, the new city, the new language, everything — that’s enough to make anyone stress out enough to not do well in school. You’re really smart and you work so hard to do well, so be proud of yourself and let me be proud of you, okay?”

It was said so sweetly and with a such a pure and honest smile that Lila’s chest started to grow warm and spread down her arms and all the way to her fingertips. Her smile felt too big and she knew that all the giddy energy in her body was leaking out onto the expression on her face, but she didn’t quite care. Working for weeks and getting to spend time with Marinette all led up to this and she suddenly felt like running outside in the frigid weather and letting her nose freeze off just to burn off all the excited energy. She settled with dipping her head and peeking up at Marinette from underneath her lashes. “I….thank you. Seriously, thank you.”

Marinette grinned and nodded. “Anytime. You know I’ll always be here to help you study.”

“No but not just that,” Lila insisted. “The homesickness felt so terrible when I first got here and now it doesn’t feel quite so awful when you have someone to hang out with who has your back. So just...thank you. For everything.”

Marinette gave her another one of her sunny smiles and reached down to squeeze Lila’s hands again. “No problem.”

And right there, in the middle of their literature class, in the midst of the entire class gossiping about their grades, Lila felt something else move in between them. She felt another shift.

.

-amore // amour

.

 Lila fell for people very easily.

She still remembered being six years old, receiving a flower from the boy next door, and knowing in the span of five seconds that she wanted to marry him. Oh, and she’d been heartbroken when he’d moved away and left her feeling like a jilted lover when she was barely old enough to pass her father’s waist. But she still remembered it as one of her first loves and always held onto that memory as a humorous reminder of all the people who’ve touched her and given her a vital piece of themselves that she slowly absorbed into herself and cherished.

Once she and her father started moving around, her brief moments of romance were always ones she kept to herself — fleeting, passionate feelings that overcame her thoughts at night but ones that she was smart enough to know wouldn’t amount to anything. It didn’t matter to her much at the time since it often felt like having a precious secret that was powerful simply because it only belonged to her.

Her love for the beautiful girl who sat next to her in school while she lived in Portugal — the one with the dark hair, the light eyes, smelled like a different perfume every day, and had such a sweet, sweet voice — felt strong and lasting even though Lila only ever got to share a couple of kisses with her before she moved away again. The same could be said for the boy who sold jewelry at the store across from her apartment in Spain — with his wide, crooked smile, the earrings he wore everyday, and his beautiful guitar playing late in the evenings before the store closed — even though he only ever got the courage to speak with her the day before she was set to leave again.

It was all fine, because Lila knew not to make friends and knew not to get attached. Acquaintances and brief loves were all that Lila knew and she loved counting them all on her fingers before she went to bed. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked for her because there was no other way to keep her heart intact.

Marinette made falling for her ridiculously easy. She was gorgeous, and Lila had said that about her the moment she laid on her eyes on her despite her reservations about the two of them getting too close. But she was a girl that was filled to the brim with that sort of everyday beauty that you missed if you blinked too quickly and didn’t stop to stare. Pretty soon, every little thing she did enchanted Lila — the fact that she only wrote with blue pens, that she spoke with her hands and often too loudly, that she’d rather die than drink her coffee black, that she wanted to be a designer when she was older, that she was also scared of being alone and ached at the thought of Lila enduring the same.

And that was really what was so special about Marinette — that her kindness was deep and enduring, carved into marble and preserved for years so that Lila would never stand to forget it. Suddenly, it was as if everything that had injured her when she first came to school had been swept away in favor of every second Marinette spent smiling at her, staring at her, making silly pinky promises, and being close enough for Lila to feel safe and wanted. The best part was that none of that ever had to go away. Lila wasn’t going anywhere — wasn’t moving to a new country to meet new people and new places and find a way to slot herself into that strangeness all over again. Lila would keep waking up and Marinette would keep being there. They had all the time in the world with each other, and suddenly Lila felt herself wanting more.

Then, everything came crashing down and collapsing into a single point, an enduring thought, an impossible question with an unreachable answer.

Did Marinette ever find herself in a position where she stared at Lila, felt her whole body light up, and wonder if they could also be more?

.

-bacio // baiser

.

 “Alright, what about meravigliosa?”

Marinette bit her lip, laying out on her floor on her back with her feet in the air. “Ummmm…. is it merveilleux maybe? Marvellous?”

“Not bad! Good job.”

“Yay!” Marinette leaned her head back and opened her mouth. “Chip me.”

Lila leaned over the edge of the chaise she was sitting on and carefully dropped a chocolate chip from the bag she was holding right into Marinette’s mouth as a reward. “We’re gonna get sick eating all of these.”

“Chocolate helps prevent heart attacks you know.”

“In moderation, you maniac. What about estate ?”

Marinette winced. “Oh, crap. Um. État? Like the condition of something?”

Lila winced and popped a chocolate chip into her mouth. “Close. Éte . Summer.”

“What?” Marinette frowned. “That makes no sense. I’m pretty sure that means a third separate thing in English too. Like a bunch of land or something.”

“Oh that’s a good one! Terra .”

“Wait, isn’t that just terre ? Land?”

Lila smiled and dropped another chocolate chip into Marinette’s mouth. “Yup. Nice job!”

“Huh,” Marinette said with her mouthful. “You weren’t kidding when you said parts of the languages were similar.”

“Spanish is more more intuitive if you know Italian though. Being in Spain was a breeze. French sort of gets away with it until you start coming up with words that have seven vowels and only one syllable.”

“At least our grammar is similar and pretty simple,” Marinette pointed out. “You ever try to make sense of Chinese grammar? It’s such a learning curve.”

Lila raised a brow. “Wow, you know Chinese?”

“Eehhh,” Marinette winced. “Know is a strong word. I’m learning. It’s slow going but I’m optimistic.”

“I know four languages, my dear. It’s possible. Just have to study up and practice.”

“Wait until you see my Chinese flashcards you’ll change your mind about it.”

Lila laughed. “Alright, how about this? When we have a break, I’ll help you study your Chinese flashcards and reward you with sweets whenever you get words right. Sound fun?”

Marinette smiled and laced her hands together under her chin. “My angel.”

“Ah, another good one. Paradiso .”

“ Paradis! ” Marinette said. “Paradise!”

“Ladies and gentleman, Marinette Dupain-Cheng knows Italian.”

“Barely,” Marinette snorted. “For every pair of words that are practically identical, there is another pair that looks nothing alike. I’m still not over this summer thing.”

“Welcome to the pain that was literally my entire semester in French literature.”

Marinette reached over and yanked on the end of Lila’s hair until she collapsed on the floor next to her in a pile of pillows and blankets. They had the day off for a long weekend and Lila decided to come over to Marinette’s house and surprise her so that she wouldn’t have to spend the entire day in her room on the Internet all day. Luckily Marinette had excitedly said that she was thinking of calling a friend for a sleepover if they were interested, so Lila was quick to pack an overnight bag, kiss her father goodbye, and bring some treats to Marinette’s house while they spent the afternoon camped out in her room. She’d been chatting with her father over the phone in Italian at one point and Marinette had excitedly proclaimed that she was pretty sure she understood at least ten percent of what Lila had said, hence their little game that had currently been going on for the past hour.

“Wanna hear something crazy I just realized?” Lila said, now that she was laid out on the floor right next to Marinette. “I think this is the first sleepover I’ve had in years.”

Marinette turned her head. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, it was when I was still in Portugal,” Lila explained. “I was like twelve I think? It was my last week in the country and I slept over at my friend Alda’s house. And that was my last sleepover?”

“What did you do?” Marinette grinned. “Anything you haven’t crossed off your bucket list yet?”

Lila chuckled, “Oh it wasn’t anything too crazy. We stayed in her living room and brought all of her bedsheets down so that we could build forts in the living room. She had a pear tree in her backyard so she just brought a basket of them inside with us and we ate them while we watched movies. But then once we ran out she went and bought hard candies from the store down the street and we ate them until we felt sick. It was hilarious because we were just laid out against our pillows and couldn’t move an inch.”

“Yup, that sounds like a sleepover alright,” Marinette laughed. “Her name was Alda? Do you guys still talk?”

“Nah,” Lila said, looking down at her nails. “I’d lost her number at some point and my letters always got returned. I still say it’s not a big deal, but I guess now that I think about it it’s a little sad. I really liked her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Lila smiled. “She sat next to me in class and always braided my hair during lunch when we ate together. She was a delight.”

Marinette paused for a long moment and Lila didn’t realize she had chosen to stay silent until she turned her head and saw Marinette giving her a knowing smile. “How much did you really like her?”

Lila rubbed her neck and started fiddling with the ends of her hair. “Actually, she was, uh….she was my first kiss. Happened at that sleepover.”

Suddenly, Marinette’s gaze grew softer and she shuffled closer to her. “Oh wow.”

“Yeah, it was really late, past when we were supposed to go to sleep. And it sort of happened really suddenly, like….like she’d been thinking really hard about it and just decided to do it out of nowhere. She finished her thought, stopped for a moment, and just leaned over to do it. And it was nice. Really nice. And when it was done we just laughed about it and kept eating candy. Like there was nothing complicated about it.”

“That sounds so lovely,” Marinette breathed out. “I don’t think any of my sleepovers ever went like that.”

“Oh really?” Lila said, pretending to sound disappointed. “I thought it was common practice for all sleepovers.”

“Sorry,” Marinette shrugged. “I didn’t really plan any kisses for today. Must have slipped my mind.”

“That’s a shame,” Lila said without thinking. “Would’ve been nice to have one.”

She felt her heart jump a little bit when she words slipped out, and she carefully looked at Marinette from the corner of her eye to make sure she hadn’t said something that would make her uncomfortable. But Marinette merely dipped her head and gave a shy smile, a small flush painting her cheeks that made Lila stare longer than she meant to. Marinette cleared her throat nervously. “I mean….it wouldn’t too much trouble to arrange, would it?”

Lila bit her lip. “No it wouldn’t, I guess.”

“I….” Marinette hesitated. “I could try a quick one? I don’t want to be bad at it.”

“You don’t have to,” Lila mumbled. “I was only half joking.”

“Can I try it for the half of you that wasn’t joking?”

Marinette was leaning on her elbow, looking down at Lila with her hair falling in her face and worrying her lip like she was about to jump into a deep pool without knowing how to swim. It was the first time Marinette looked unsure and scared the entire time Lila had known her and she quickly slotted it away as one of the other pretty things about Marinette that were quickly beginning to grow in number. She carefully lifted a hand and threaded her fingers into Marinette’s hair before gently pulling her down into a short, simple kiss that only lasted as long as it took for Marinette to sharply inhale, tangle her fingers in the pillow underneath her and blink her eyes shut.

Lila pulled away, but kept her face close enough to Marinette’s until their noses were just brushing together. She waited for Marinette to open her eyes and drop her gaze to Lila’s lips, and then suddenly Marinette was leaning into her again for another kiss, one where Marinette bravely moved her lips over Lila’s bottom lip and carefully opened Lila’s mouth into a kiss that was deeper, slower, and sweeter than anything Lila ever shared with anyone.

Suddenly, it was like month’s worth of affection and enthusiasm broke loose between them because Lila suddenly couldn’t get her arm around Marinette’s neck quick enough to pull her back down against the pillows with her, and Marinette was laughing against her lips and rubbing her thumb along Lila’s cheek and resting her other hand on her hip. Everytime Lila imagined kisses like this, she always thought they’d be hot, heavy, and romantic. But Marinette’s hair fell in between their mouths a couple of times to interrupt their kiss, they paused every minute or so to smile at each other and stare before leaning back down, and their teeth knocked together whenever they both leaned in at the same time and didn’t tilt their heads enough. It was so perfect and Lila kept ruining it by smiling into the kiss and thinking that there was no way she would’ve ever thought the two of them would end up like this months and months ago.

Marinette slowed their kiss until she was just leaving short pecks against Lila’s lips until they were holding each other with their mouths hovering close. Lila snickered. “‘I don’t want to be bad at it,’ huh?”

“Leave me alone,” Marinette giggled. “I didn’t want to make it bad.”

“It wasn’t bad,” Lila assured her, pressing two quick kisses to her lips. “You’re wonderful. I feel like I tell you that all the time.”

Marinette rested her forehead against Lila’s. “Well, now a few things make a lot of sense.”

Lila’s hands were tracing Marinette’s shoulders, her back, and the dip of her waist. “Is this okay?” Marinette asked. Always kind, always patient, always something beautiful about her that Lila couldn’t help but marvel at.

She pulled Marinette down again and tried to memorize the feeling of her heart racing and her cheeks aching. “Of course it’s okay.”