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alyssumlovesthecosmere · 13 days ago

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So, the other day, Crash Course uploaded a video in their Religions series, about Judaism. Now, I haven't watched any video other than this one, but if this one is any metric to measure by.... well, it's bad. Really bad.

To start, the introduction starts with "shabbat toothbrushes", where John Green describes to us how (some) jews will brush their teeth on shabbat, while ensuring to not break any of the melachot, or prohibited actions. This, in my opinion, as an orthodox jew, is.... quite a framing to start with. Especially since immediately after that introduction, John Green let's us know that there are other jews! who don't do this! and just... sir, I'm an orthodox jew. Sure, I don't do follow that rule on the shabbat- sorry, the sabbath which you then explain is the shabbat to jews (the word Sabbath comes from the hebrew Shabbat), but I follow a lot of rules that folks find strange! And I do not appreciate a video talking about jews sidelining orthodox jews. Framing the video in that way is clearly an attempt to make Jews seem more "mainstream", but it erases, estranges, and (this happens more later on) villifies orthodox jews. Which isn't fair.

But we just started this 13 minute video. At this point last night, I sighed and figured this was going to be just your regular old "Orthodox Jews are strange and bad" sort of video, and resigned myself to that. And then I looked at the sections of the video. One of which included Zionism in it. And I immediately got more worried, because John and Hank donated through Project For Awesome to UNWRA which are.... very linked to Hamas, including there being evidence of UNWRA employees participating in the Oct. 7th Massacre. But okay. Maybe this video will be fine.

Spoiler alert: It wasn't. It was so incredibly bad. John Green admits at the start of the video that Judaism is complex, great! Now explain tha complexity correctly! no. So he starts off his history with... Ya'akov Avinu, sorry- Jacob. Who's a descendant of Avraham Avinu, sorry- Abraham (John uses the english names and not the hebrew one and it just bothers me). Which like... no, Jewish history starts with Eretz Yisrael, the land of Israel. In addition, a large majority of his sources are non jewish sources which is just. Why. There are so many jewish sources on Judaism!

As this is getting long, I'm gonna put a tl;dr here and then a read more cut. The tl;dr is this - the video is a horrendously western view of Judaism video, that seems to be written by non-jews who don't have any expertise in Judaism. It is filled with misrepresentation of jews, especially religious ones, is severely lacking pretty much all of jewish history, doesn't mention MENA/SWANA jews at all, and is quite frankly a disappointment. I'm mad and sad and upset and most of all disappointed with crash course for creating this video.

Still with me? great. I'm wordy and I have twelve minutes of this video to go through still. To make this a bit more organized, I'm gonna go according to the sections that John Green himself gave, and give a summary of what he said and what is wrong or misrepresented there.

The Many Versions of Judaism (aka, somehow not our history nor our story) there are a few things wrong/upsetting here. First off, as I said above, the fact that he uses the English names. Second off, the fact that he, bafflingly, starts the story with Ya'akov getting the name Yisrael, aka when Ya'akov fights with the angel. John then takes this to explain that Jews today still wrestle with Hashem in our own way, but in a... shall I say tumblr style reductionist way. Y'know, the "jews shake lemon at gd angrily behind a denny's" way. This chapter is the only one that will ever mention the ancient Israelites, and never the tie to the land of Israel itself. In addition to this, he describes Judaism as monotheistic, but that "half of religious jews today believe in some other spiritual force, and not the gd of the Hebrew Bible" which had me going what in the what. Just. No. like, sure, i'm a vaguely agnostic-atheist religious jew and uh, no? And I found his source, and well, if I had to guess - the jews who responded assumed that the god they were being asked about was the one in the xtian bible - and so answered no, while John assumed said jews meant the gd of the tanakh, aka hashem. Third, his "devil's advocate" scene is just. Once again, putting down Orthodox Jews, and compares without change Jewish Religious Institutions with Xtian ones. To quote "for a lot of jews, it's more about action than faith", I'd argue, personally, that that line is correct for most jews, as our religion is not really one of belief (orthodoxy) but of action (orthopraxy). And also, I'll paraphrase "many jewish people consider following Jewish law to be the most important thing" yes! yes we do! and not just many, most, that's! the whole! shtick! for us!! (and yes i'm aware this is a simplification). He also manages to vaguely describe Judaism as an ethnicity, and explain that some Jews are connected to the ancestral history (without explaining what that is, no connection to Israel here no sirree), which I guess is fine-ish? (it does not)

The Written Torah So here he starts off with saying that we'll focus on the torah and not the tanakh, as the torah is how we jews conceptualize our relationship to gd and each other. Except that... we also use the rest of the Tanakh for that! (minor kudos to him for saying that the tanakh was written by the ancient israelites. Just no mention of why there were ancient israelites and then we had to come back). The torah gives us most of our rules, but the tanakh expands on them, and teaches us how we choose to treat hashem, how we treat each other. When Jews say the written torah, we do oftentimes also mean the rest of the tanakh. Frankly, going through his sources, I can't figure out what source he used for this claim, except that he uses a lot of non-jewish sources (like the britannica), and very few Jewish ones which is just... why, you can clearly see these jewish sources exist, why not use them? I understand that this is meant to be lighthearted, but he compares the five books of the torah to seasons of friends, which is kinda eeeh. And added to that, his descriptor for bamidbar or numbers is "the ancient israelites wander and suffer through the wilderness" (paraphrased). First off, it was the desert, and second off this is exactly where in the torah we get all of the mitzvot and how to treat each other and hashem. This is it!! why name the book/"season" wrong?? He then continues and talks about how the themes of exile and return are common in the torah, and continue to resonate today, and yet doesn't... explain... the history of us being exiled. Instead, we take a tangent into antisemitism, specifically the plague related kind. Which... fine, I know he's got a liking for that aspect of history, but there's so much more. Of course, he also mentions that the Pope was one of the influential people who pushed back against it and... just... sigh. We're talking the catholic church here. The same catholic church WHO BLAMED JEWS FOR KILLING JESUS TILL THE NINETEEN SIXTIES. If the pope pushed back against it, it was because us jews had more value alive, not because he thought we had inherent value as people. Of course, since we're talking antisemitism, John only talks about xtian antisemitism. The "happy dhimmi" myth is alive and kicking in this video, as there is absolutely no mention of antisemitism within the non-western world. IN ADDITION, by framing the antisemitism the way he did - that the "dumb europeans" attacked the jews but their religious leaders were against it, John inadvertently erases antisemitism by non religious people, and by religious leaders. Both of which are and were alive and well.

Zionism (aka, I had to put this in here otherwise the tankies would yell at me, and I made a mess of it) And then we have this digression, which makes zero sense in the context of the story John is attempting to tell, into Zionism. There is no reason for it, and if it had to be in the video, it should have, quite frankly, gone in at the end. But that is only the start of the woes that I have to say on this section. To start, the amount of sources here are negligeble as compared to the other sections (note the numbers, all previous sources were for the other two sections)

48. Encyclopaedia Britannica | Zionism 49. University of Michigan | Zionism 50. Ben-Israel, Hedva. “Zionism and European Nationalisms: Comparative Aspects.” Israel Studies 8, no. 1 (2003): 91–104. 51. Ghanem, As’ad. “Israel’s Second-Class Citizens: Arabs in Israel and the Struggle for Equal Rights.” Foreign Affairs 95, no. 4 (2016): 37–42. 52. Halpern, Ben (2004) [1990]. "The Rise and Reception of Zionism in the Nineteenth Century". In Goldscheider, Calvin; Neusner, Jacob (eds.). Social Foundations of Judaism (2nd ed.). Eugene, Or: Wipf and Stock Publ. pp. 94–113. 53. American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise| Zionism: Anti-Zionism Among Jews

[copied from the source sheet]

I haven't read the sources, so I'm not going to talk about them, but the fact that only half of the sources seem to have been written by jews is... not great. At all. And then there's how John introduces and talks about the topic. John compares the themes of exile and return in the Torah and Tanakh to the narrative told by Zionists, and mentions Zionism being a political movement. All of this is correct. However, what John is very obviously missing here is the history of Jews within the land of Israel. He talks about how we wanted a state for Jews run by Jews, but doesn't explain that we wanted it in the land where we came from, a land where we have mitzvot, commandments, that are specific to it. A land that our holidays and calendar center. The fact that this is missing is one of the glaring issues in the whole video. He also mentions that Zionism views Judaism as a nationality, which is true. Judaism is viewed as a nationality in the modern sense through Zionism, but it's also a nationality, or nation, in the older sense, regardless of Zionism. In addition to that, while Zionism is the idea of having a Jewish run state for Jews, it does not preclude the existence of other, nonjewish, people in this state. Which is important for the next bit. He then adds that, quote "this is complicated for lots of geopolitical reasons, but suffice it to say, Jewish people are not the only people with roots or a current presence in the modern state of Israel." Which, I guess does mention our roots in the land, but it also completely flattens the whole story into, what feels to me, "Jews Zionists bad for wanting a state because there are other people". He then mentions the Druze and Xtian and Muslim Palestinians, which is fair but also why specifically the Druze? And if the Druze, why not also the Bedouin? Both are minority groups within Israel, and if you want to talk about minority groups, the Bedouin are equally as important for this discussion! (another friend later pointed out that the likely reason is that the pbs source John uses mentions the Druze (but as muslims, and not as their own religious group which. sigh. Druze are not Muslim), but not the Bedouin. And of course, we get a "not all jews support the zionist movement, but many do" yeah. a huge womping majority. For a reason. At the end of this section he says you can find "much much more" on the topic in the sources and I just have to raise an eyebrow, because I do not count these 6 sources as "much much more" information.

Then, finally, we're off of this ill-placed and wrongly done section, and back to actual religion things. You know. Like how John had said we'd be talking about.

The Oral Torah and the Talmud We start off strong, with an accurate description as to what exactly is the Oral Torah, and what its place within Jewish society and Judaism is. And then... John tells us that there are "two guys who started it". Huh? Who? Hillel and Shammai of course! what. so, to explain to all of you who have somehow read till here and don't know, Hillel and Shammai are just one pair in a long lineage of those who were, according to tradition, in charge of the oral torah. Even more so, they weren't the first in their generation of pairs! (this is the time known as the Zugot, or pairs). Hillel and Shammai are the seventh generation in those who lived during the time of the mishna being slowly worked on and getting codified, and Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was the one who did all of the codification, FIVE GENERATIONS AND A TEMPLE COLLAPSE AFTER THEM. So I chose to go into the sources to figure this one out, because frankly I'm baffled. And as far as I can tell, this comes from the encyclopedia britannica (again, why) saying that Hillel and Shammai were the last of the Zugot and that they taught the Tanaim (those who ended up writing the mishna), but just. What. Why. John then continues on to explain who Hillel and Shammai are, describing them as "Shammai, the rules are rules type" and "Hillel, the gentle, caring, impossible to anger type". I just- again with the putting down of one side (the stricter side) for the not so strict side. In addition to the fact that that isn't even an accurate description. It would be more accurate to describe the divide and debate between Hillel and Shammai as realistic and unrealistic. Hillel's school of thought, also known as Beit Hillel, worked with and around torah with the understanding that those who will be following it are people, and will make mistakes and need leniency. Shammai's school of thought, known as Beit Shammai, on the other hand, wanted people to strive to following the Torah in the most idealistic way. We follow Beit Hillel nowadays because they were better at taking day-to-day realities into account, but we remember Beit Shammai's halacha because we want to be able to fulfill our mitzvot in that way, and if human life didn't get in the way, we would do so. John Green stop putting those who keep stricter (or more idealistic) halacha as "bad" challange: level impossible. John Green then says, as is correct, that at around 200ce we started writing things down, but once again, he neglects to mention why we felt we needed to shift from oral to written (the answer is the Romans wanted us no longer jewish and we had lost our Temple and were going to be expelled from our holy land again, see, that's two sentences, is that so hard to say?) John Green then correctly explains that they way the Talmud was written down was by layers upon layers, "literally circling each other" however, that's only one portion of the halachic debate, and frankly, the Talmud is definitely not the central rabbinic text today. That's the Shulchan Aruch, which is based off of the Talmud, but collates all of Halachic debate into a masterpiece of a lot of books. It, too, has the layers upon layers thing, because why waste good paper space??? There are more mistakes here, in understanding that the Talmud is The Central Halachic thing, which again - look above I corrected it. I'll also happily admit that he's correct in saying that when we refer to the torah we mean both the written and oral ones. But we still have two sections to go, and I am still as wordy as ever.

Branches of Judaism Here is where I started to go from mildly annoyed at how he treats orthodox jews, to flat out mad. See, instead of explaining the differences between branches in a neutral way, John brings up differences that will make people feel things. He gives examples of questions - can women be rabbis - which will have listeners biased towards those communities that allow it (and yes, it is an issue within orthodox communities, but guess what! these communities are also trying to work within their framework of halacha for women's equality), or "can you push an elevator button on shabbat using electricity when the law says to refrain from creating fires and sparks on that day", which is an extreme oversimplification of the whole argument and discussion about electricity on shabbat, which will lead viewers to, once again, view those who do those things as backward, strange, and weird. And trust me, there are so many other halachic questions that can be used (such as can one heat food on shabbat, considering fire and heat, or how you deal with the dietary laws of kashrut), and idk. Maybe at this point I'm nitpicking, but as an orthodox not exactly a woman, it bothers me! It alienates me from the discussion, and it's really frustrating. He comments that the options you can choose are "unwavering, flexible, or somewhere in between", which to me shows a complete lack of understanding of what the orthodox framework of working with halacha is (too long; don't have time to explain - we can't strictly disagree with stuff but we can slowly push for change that may eventually end up disagreeing with something or another). He then explains Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform Judaism. His way of explaining is, while technically correct, missing an understanding of how we different streams of Judaism practice. John describes the differences as ones of strictness vs openness, lack of change vs flexibility. In reality, the difference between the streams is one of precedence. How much weight do we put on something that was written 2000 years ago? How much weight does our current way of living have? Orthodox Judaism will answer that what was written all that time ago has significantly more weight, that they knew more about halacha than we do, to Reform halacha, which takes halachic rulings from 2000 years ago under advisement, but sees how much the world has changed, and makes the rulings accordingly. I won't touch on his specific examples, and suffice it to say that they were in line with what I said earlier about his examples. They're there to make you feel something about these strange jews he's talking about, and that something is not always particularly nice, especially to Orthodox Jews. He then mentions a few other options, which is fine (though I wish he expanded on the "people who say 'I'm Jewish' but don't identify with any particular branch" as, with everything going on, and his sorely lacking explanation in how Judaism and conversion works, may lead to people deciding to just say they're jewish). After that he says that there "are jewish atheists". Yes. There are also orthodox jewish atheists, I thought we covered the fact that Judaism prefers action over belief at the start? I'm confused as to why he felt the need to add that here near the end of the video.

Next, he talks about the different physical branches of Judaism, and mentions that due to persecution we got to many different places. Of course, he once again neglects to mention the ur-persecution, or ur-reason that we are so spread out - our expulsion from Israel, and the beginning of the Jewish Diaspora (he mentions the Diaspora by name, but not the first reason for it). It's a glaring miss, but not as glaring as what is to come. He then talks about three diasporic communities, and I quote "...unique communities emerged in each new location: Ashkenazi Jews in Eastern Europe, Sephardic Jews in Spain and Portugal, and Beta Israel in Eithiopia". One nitpick and one incredibly important correction. Ashkenazi Jews were originally from ashkenaz, ie France and Germany and eventually got to Eastern Europe as well - the name of the general European tradition is, however, Ashkenaz. The second, and more pressing issue, is that he says that Sephardic Jews are in Spain and Portugal. Those communities haven't been there in a Hot Minute, ie since the Spanish Inquistion. They've been in the SWANA or MENA region, with some exceptions for some Dutch, American, and British Jews. I had to look at his sources, because are you kidding me. Both (all three, if we include Beta Israel) sources are from britannica. Again. My first instinct was that maybe the issue was with the source! I was wrong.

The source for Ashkenazi Judaism (emphasis mine)

Ashkenazi, member of the Jews who lived in the Rhineland valley and in neighbouring France before their migration eastward to Slavic lands (e.g., Poland, Lithuania, Russia) after the Crusades (11th–13th century) and their descendants. After the 17th-century persecutions in eastern Europe, large numbers of these Jews resettled in western Europe, where they assimilated, as they had done in eastern Europe, with other Jewish communities. In time, all Jews who had adopted the “German rite” synagogue ritual were referred to as Ashkenazim to distinguish them from Sephardic (Spanish rite) Jews. Ashkenazim differ from Sephardim in their pronunciation of Hebrew, in cultural traditions, in synagogue cantillation (chanting), in their widespread use of Yiddish (until the 20th century), and especially in synagogue liturgy. Today Ashkenazim constitute more than 80 percent of all the Jews in the world, vastly outnumbering Sephardic Jews. In the early 21st century, Ashkenazic Jews numbered about 11 million. In Israel the numbers of Ashkenazim and Sephardim are roughly equal, and the chief rabbinate has both an Ashkenazic and a Sephardic chief rabbi on equal footing. All Reform and Conservative Jewish congregations belong to the Ashkenazic tradition

As you can see, britannica does in fact mention that Ashkenazi Jews were first in the Rhineland valley (germany) and france, and later moved to Eastern Europe. I have some nitpicking on that as what I said doesn't match but regardless. Ashkenazi Jews aren't in Ashkenaz according to John, they are in Eastern Europe

The source for Sephardi Judaism (emphasis mine)

Sephardi, member or descendant of the Jews who lived in Spain and Portugal from at least the later centuries of the Roman Empire until their persecution and mass expulsion from those countries in the last decades of the 15th century. The Sephardim initially fled to North Africa and other parts of the Ottoman Empire, and many of these eventually settled in such countries as France, Holland, England, Italy, and the Balkans. Salonika (Thessaloníki) in Macedonia and the city of Amsterdam became major sites of Sephardic settlement. The transplanted Sephardim largely retained their native Judeo-Spanish language (Ladino), literature, and customs. They became noted for their cultural and intellectual achievements within the Mediterranean and northern European Jewish communities. In religious practice, the Sephardim differ from the Ashkenazim (German-rite Jews) in many ritual customs, but these reflect a difference in traditional expression rather than a difference in sect. Of the estimated 1.5 million Sephardic Jews worldwide in the early 21st century (far fewer than the Ashkenazim), the largest number were residing in the state of Israel. The chief rabbinate of Israel has both a Sephardic and an Ashkenazi chief rabbi. The designation Sephardim is frequently used to signify North African Jews and others who, though having no ancestral ties to Spain, have been influenced by Sephardic traditions, but the term Mizrahim is perhaps more properly applied.

As you can also see, the britannica also mentions that Sephardi talks about North African Jews. What is that? SWANA Jews exist? and experienced persecution? Couldn't be. Surely all Jews are actually European and are colonizers in the land of palestine (heavy sarcasm and cynicism). I've got to say, I find the fact that using where Jews ended up for Ashkenazi Jews, and where they "originated" (in quotation due to the fact that only the name originated from there) for Sephardi Jews rather disingenuous, as the story being told erases the existence of SWANA jews to an upsetting and worrying degree.

Review and Credits Almost done. Just have to get through the review. John finishes up the story with something that I have mixed feelings about. He describes Judaism as a religion, but that being Jewish doesn't require a religious identity. I find the but annoying. It's not "judaism is a religion but doesn't have to be", it's "judaism is a religion and a people, and a culture, etc etc". Judaism is older than the concept of religion, we're a people, who can also have a set of belief and behaviour, but not doing them does not preclude you from being part of the family (unless, of course, you actively leave the family but that is a nuance not for here). The rest of his review is fine in my opinion. And now, the credits, which have a list of names that don't seem to be Jewish, but I can't find that about all of them (i know at least one of the people in charge of information for either this video or the series in general is definitely not Jewish)

I don’t know how to finish this, other than… Do better, Crash Course, do better @sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog.

#jumblr #judaism #crash course #john green

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carrrrino · 1 year ago

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HELLO I am very excited for this project! I wanted to express a concern though…it’s rather hard to find the any info on the project aside from what’s on the blog (which isn’t…very much information wise) I’m not sure if that’s an intentional decision…

I know when I first found the info I….kind of didn’t believe this?? That sounds odd. I suppose what I mean is, it didn’t seem the most legit. I did digging through the blog, read all the links, searched for a Twitter and YouTube accounts and had a hard time doing that as well…Simply because there is very little information on it. Which there’s nothing wrong with…I was wanting to suggest (as an outsider) that you and your team put more announcements/ marketing into this…?

I REALLY hope to see this project grow, it’s absolutely deserved, and very few people seem to know about it. I’d hate that to be something people miss out on. I don’t really expect an answer on this but I thought I should share the concern as an outside perspective. 💛

I really hope this project is going well for you and that it gets the deserved recognition as it’s coming out!!! So excited!!!

I'm so happy that people share the same excitement and concern for the series. Also, the fact that you guys think it's worthy of success Is truly inspiring! I think it's time I SAY something though about my current situation.

TL;DR - Our team basically went inactive after the summer; everyone returned to their lives and I'm the only one who can keep up with the project unconditionally. I didn't mean to dishearten you guys! It's a pain in the ass to work alone - excluding voice actors and SFX producers. The OUTBREAK blog will change entirely, it will be used for info and marketing. This blog will just be general art created by me (&no-namestuff). I will continue to work on the series independently, but I'll definitely give out more info as requested and make things more legit whenever I can!

Over the summer, a group of us began working on the project together, but as most of my friends returned to school and their regular lives, it became almost impossible to keep going. Currently, only a few are available to help, but they're too busy.

I didn't want to worry anyone by saying that it's basically just me working on the project; it's tough to balance animating, scripting, marketing, planning, publishing, AND funding by myself. Over time it (advertising and insightful communication) just became indifferent to me, I even considered going silent for a while until I had a mother-load of progress, but that's really not fair.

The project was a bit of a mess when we started. We didn't plan on making it a big deal, my animations were half-assed and incomprehensible; I barely knew how to work Adobe and could barely even pay it off, the sound was going to be recorded via iPhone, the script wasn't even halfway done, and voice actors weren't thought of until the Prologue. After more than six months of work, Verse 1-4 (or 6?) was deleted because of issues with the file.. this really drew the line for everyone.

So here I am, despite everything; I revised the script, which is barely halfway done, redesigned the characters, read more into the multiversal conundrums of AUs and UNDERTALE, built a portfolio, studied poses for the action scenes — and there’s still a lot that I have to learn. I'm working on Q&As, asks, and the teaser / test / project animations. I don't want people to be confused or hesitant, so I appreciate you a lot for reminding me of this. As requested, I will provide additional details about the project too :) !

No-Name's theme is in progress (thanks to Synth Mints), I've invested heavily in software for good quality animations, talented voice actors from this fandom (some you might even know) have agreed to voice for me - I'm extremely grateful for their help. Even if it takes years to release an episode or pilot, I'm still excited about the outcome. Who knows, I might even have a genuine team by then! :D

aw geez sorry for the whole bit-life story, I'm just trying to shed some light on the situation for you all. I do care, I want everyone to know that, it's just hard work.

Until the next teaser animation, please have these lil' pieces of teasers / lore as an apology!

SD by @/galacii ERROR by @/loverofpiggies / CrayonQueen

LASTLY today is my birthday yayyy 🥳🎂

#wish me luck #next anim is way longer than 5 seconds #I hope this sums things up #outbreak #shattered dream sans #no name sans

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eldritchboop · 1 year ago

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I am Angry at The Lost Book Project so please enjoy this curated list of ebooks

TL;DR: A company is trying to resell books from the Internet Archive at a markup. Here are roundups to all the free links instead.

Please donate to the Internet Archive if you find this post valuable.

42 Ancient Medicinal Plant Remedies

7 Lost Books and Texts on Meditation

The Witchcraft and Magic Collection (51 books)

11 Secret Books for Spiritual Seekers

11 Classic Numerology Books

The Lost Entrepreneurs Handbooks

21 Rare Books on Sacred Sexuality and Magick

16 Seminal Books on Law of Attraction and Manifestation

The Ancient Greece Collection - 36 Rare Books

The Ancient Key to The Tarot - 21 Books

The Definitive Demonology Book Collection

33 Rare Hidden Books on Freemasonry

The Manly P. Hall Collection

45 Rare Supernatural Books - Ghost Stories and Mysteries

37 Ancient Lost Texts on Buddhism

20 Books On Astrology, Zodiac and Horoscopes

The Lost Book of Spells - Spellbooks and Rituals

37 Lost Books on Ancient Mesopotamia

18 Lost Alchemy and Occult Science Books Works Of Sir George Ripley

The Vikings & Norse Mythology Book Collection

My angry rant as to why I am willing to do this in my spare time is below the break.

So I received a target Facebook ad for a website called the Lost Book Project (I refuse to link to them) advertising a collection of herbal books for a nice low price. Problem - the first book I saw them selling was Culpepper's Herbal from the 1600s, meaning it's well outside copyright. I own a digital copy for this reason!

So logically, I decided to check if the other books on the list, most of which are outside copyright, were also available on Archive.org. Sure enough, the whole list is available there.

Now, for starters, this makes me INCREDIBLY angry. It's not illegal to sell out-of-copyright books, but the Internet Archive is my favorite place for old books, and like Wikipedia they operate entirely on donations. Their average donation is $17 - just about the cost of this collection.

Websites that are making money off of a free service by locking them behind a paywall are anathema to everything that the Internet Archive stands for. Furthermore, if you're in the US or UK (where most of these books are sourced from), your tax dollars have already paid for these books to be stored and digitized.

EDIT: I have also noticed that two many books are still in publication and under copyright! I have sent notices to their publishers.

Things like this activate my sense of fairness to the nth degree. I hate scammers. I hate people who sell things without adding value. And I really hate it when they're taking money from good institutions that need it. Imagine if half of the people who paid for these books donated instead!?

So please help yourself to the links on each roundup. I'll continue to do the work needed to link all of the books they offer to their proper sources.

And fuck companies exploiting the work of others for their own profit.

#witchcraft resources #witchcraft #witchblr #witch community #free resources

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year ago

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hey weird question but, with the context that while conspiracy thought in and of itself is just a sort of dangerous logical fallacy, most conspiracy theories have some kind of tie to antisemetism, are there any antisemetic aspects to gaylor theory? i can't think of how but somehow it almost always weasels in there, no matter how innocently silly something seems on the surface.

DEEP SIGH okay it's time to talk about Scooter Braun and his place in the Gaylor conspiracy

I'm not going to recap everything but will instead link you to this US Weekly article (I know, sorry) which is basically a fine summation of events despite being a bit sensationalist in calling a business disagreement between two adults a "feud"

tl;dr for anyone who doesn't want to read all of that (it's not actually that long, I prommy): in 2019 talent manager Scooter Braun acquired Taylor Swift's former record label Big Machine, giving ownership of the masters of her first six albums. Swift objected to this very publicly on the grounds that she wanted ownership over her own work and had repeatedly been denied the opportunity to buy it outright, while also alleging that Braun has been harassing and bullying her for years. ultimately, Swift has remained unable to buy back her work, leading to her steadily re-releasing expanded versions of her first six albums under the "Taylor's Version" headline.

obviously, given my stance against speculating on the personal lives of famous rich people, I'm not particularly interested in debating whether or not there's merit to Swift's accusations against Braun, although given the exploitative nature of the music industry I hardly think her claims are implausible.

regardless of whether or not Braun sucks as a person, it's important to note that he was only very briefly in ownership of Swift's discography: as the linked article above notes, he only owned them for about a year and a half before selling them off in 2020.

despite this, Braun holds what I would consider a rather outsize role in a lot of Gaylor conspiracy theorizing, with many apparently believing that Swift fully intended to come out in 2019 with the release of her seventh album, Lover, but was prevented from coming out by Braun purchasing her discography. I've seen some claim that he actively subjected her to homophobic bullying and others saying that she didn't him to financially benefit from any career boon she might have after coming out (although no one ever seems to have an answer for why she still hasn't come out three years after he sold her discography).

I can't say whether or not the majority of Gaylors, like, know or care that Braun is Jewish, but it feels tragically predictable and yucky that a Jewish man is given such a disproportional share of blame for why Taylor "can't" come out and is made a scapegoat in the ongoing effort to evade reality with "arguments" like this

(source)

... hang on, what's that?

oh man I love when a Jewish family gets put n SCARY ALL CAPS

okay so let's talk about Karlie Kloss and Josh Kushner!

as many of you probably know by this point, Karlie Kloss is the pinnacle of Taylor Swift's platonic gal pals that she gets relentlessly shipped with; I think it's fair to say that "proving" a romantic relationship existed between the two of them is the primary focus of a lot of Gaylorism.

since 2018 Kloss has been married to Josh Kushner, heir of THAT Kushner family. his infamous brother Jared is in fact Donald Trump's son-in-law and probably guilty of, like, a lot of federal crimes. that doesn't inherently make Josh a shithead or anything and he and Kloss both claim more liberal politics, although it should be noted that like a lot of rich liberals Josh does also suck pretty hard. he and Jared own a real estate management company together and were suing their tenants and evicting them during the COVID-19 rent moratorium, so that's kind of everything you need to know about him and Karlie Kloss IMO!!!

having said that, Josh being a bastard landlord doesn't make it appropriate to frame a Jewish family as having some kind of sinister interest in suppressing a queer woman's sexuality or imply that Kloss and Josh Kushner are in some kind of sham marriage. for YEARS Kloss' marriage to Kushner, including her conversion to Judaism and their two living human children, have been dismissed as elaborate turbo-bearding, with some Gaylors going so far as to allege that Kloss and Swift have actually been married for years and Kloss is just having Kushner's children for... reasons unknown... which feels like, you know. a pretty gross dismissal of a Jewish family in favor of pretending two WASPiest WASPs to ever WASP are secretly scissoring.

anyway I certainly don't think it's the most egregious or deliberate anti-semitism that's out there in the conspiracy world but are there some Gaylors blaming The Jews(TM) for forcing poor innocent Taylor to stay in the closet? resounding yes.

#gaylorgate

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lllllllllllines · 10 months ago

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(I urge that you read this to the end, as I know some of you will take pieces of what is said here and use it as ammunition for more drama. I can't really do tl;dr because i feel like it would ruin a lot of my points)

I don't usually like to deal with drama or discourse in general leaves a bad but I feel like this needs to be said.

This discourse is stupid, a lot of different points on either side due to several reasons at least in my opinion.

Ive seen many people who were against palworld use claims for stolen designs, mentions of AI art as well as lots of people either acting in defense of game freak/TPC/Nintendo as well as some acting in defense of artistic integrity.

I've seen the people who were for the game act in one singular way while just trying to have fun with it(which i cannot deny, it looks fun as fuck).

This being them claiming that they are just kissing the boots of Nintendo, though i don't think its quite fair to put them in the same category.

Just have fun with the game, no need to engage with the hate if you don't want to(even though i know it's difficult, especially when it's staring you in the face).

For those who are for, I only have a couple things to say.

Companies are not faceless entities, I know that this sounds like basic knowledge but I've noticed that's not something people usually mention.

Not everyone who attacks this game, cares for pokemon. Im gonna go in more depth when i get to them, but i feel like this needs be said.

While there are many good things on the internet, the internet as a whole, especially nowadays, is chaos and pain.

So many different opinions, leading to low self-esteem and rage.

You just want to have fun, you probably don't like pokemon, or if you do, you probably don't like what they've been doing with it.

You've seen the early trailers and had a laugh, found out this year that it came out, sought it out be cause hey, could be a bit of a meme.

But soon you start to actually have fun with it and hope it succeeds, despite some of the designs not being totally original, and you don't care.

But soon, like usual, you find that there are people who dislike the game.

In the real world, it doesn't matter to you, it rolls off you like nothing, because you don't know them, maybe you get into a heated argument with a friend.

But as soon as you hit the internet, you feel as though people are personally attacking something you like, (emotions are hard to convey through text) so you defend.

Not really caring about how it sounds to those you desperately fight against.

But in the end that's just adding fuel to the flame.

(though I can say that this discourse is great publicity for the game, good or bad it still lets people know that it exists.)

So just have fun with it.

(Unless dealing with discourse like this is fun for you idk)

For those who are against,

I am first going to speak to those who seem to want to defend Game Freak/TPC/Nintendo and those who speak for artistic integrity.

Why do any of your thoughts matter when it comes to a company.

as I had stated earlier, people usually associate companies and conglomerates as faceless entities.

They don't see them like systems, heavily broken systems, like if a beehive were born from an unloving tyrannical queen.

The ones at the top exist to fill their pockets while those at the bottom suffer for it.

I bet around half of the people speaking of artistic integrity don't really know the names of the designers of each pokemon(and to those who do, I'm glad, cause then I know you know what you're talking about.)

I feel as though speaking of artistic integrity only works when you're talking about an individual.

Which means, by extension, that a company like Nintendo, or the other two companies that own or work on the ip, those that see only the product and the work.

To them, artistic integrity is dead.

Why else would the shoot down fan works so heavily?

To keep their product close to the chest.

But what about the claims that they stole from fakemon artists?

To my knowledge, (please let me know if im wrong) there has only been one claim of such a thing, and it was soon taken back as they soon found out that the palworld model was older than their's.

Which im pretty sure proves that claim false.

And to the people who are against AI art, don't get me wrong, I hate the idea as much as you do.

But AI image generation like many things is a tool.

And if used properly, tools can be useful.

like say for example, you have an idea you want to draw, but you can't fully figure it out in your head.

There are no pictures that fully convey what ur thinking in the depth you want for a reference, you could use an image generator for reference.

Add to an image in your own way, while removing the parts that were taken by the algorithm.

Be creative.

When tools are used properly, they can do a lot of good things.

The reason people hate AI art, is because people are being stupid and lazy with it.

Hell, i think pocketpair realized their mistake a long time ago as not only has that game been absolutely shat on in the steam reviews, but you cant even find it on their website, or at least i haven't.

Lastly, I'm gonna show you a trailer for a game pocketpair is also making, it should be coming put Q1 this year.

A game I have not heard mentioned this whole discourse.

youtube

As an honest question, what part of this looks AI generated to you?

Its a 2D sidescrolling platformer, said to be a mix of a metroidvania and a roguelite, also with base building elements since that seems to be a commonality for them.

The only things i could see that were taken or inspired by are the backgrounds, which feel very hollow knight, and the main mechanic being a possession mechanic which loosely reminded me of super mario Odyssey.

I've seen AI 2D animation, and it's usually pretty jarring due to how quickly everything warps and changes as things move.

I don't see that in this.

Nor do i recognize any of the monster or character designs.

I could be wrong and both palworld and never grave could be scams, seeing as both are in early access.

And if or when i am, then that's egg on my face.

Those that were all happy to play a new and exciting game, will seeth and mald.

And you can live happily, i guess.

But it at least shows they know some integrity.

I mean, as long as they make any of the new pals that come out more original than the 111 that they have now, we should be fine.

The only time we should be outraged, is if there is sort of harm coming to the workers, and I don't think I've heard any news on that.

If it bothers you that much, make your own game.

Actively do something about it rather than complain on the internet.

Like, I can't even imagine how difficult that is.

Especially for a smaller company.

Pokemon has it easy, It doesn't need defense.

Defend it from itself before defending it from others.

Stop paying for shit that doesn't work out the gate.

Do something to force the people making the bad game to do better.

And stop trying to shit on the little guy for your own ideals.

Criticism is fine, yelling over a game on the internet is not.

Not by a long shot.

But hey I don't think anyone is gonna read this.

Much less to the end.

Because I've scrolled passed shorter posts for less.

#palworld #never grave #pocketpair #craftopia #nintendo #Youtube

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rose-tinted-vision · 9 months ago

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Once again being annoying about a journey to love on the TL:

I think one reason why I still cannot get over AJTL is because!! of how beautifully and realistically it portrays the relationships between characters, and more importantly, it does not outright shove the main pairing into our faces. their relationship took time to develop which made it more realistic imo, and is a nice contrast to a lot of shows these days that seem to have characters falling in love in the span of two episodes.

(I've made a tl;dr a while ago here)

Episode 7

As in- the main couple is shown quite a bit, yes. They get their fair share of screentime, but the drama also focuses on the friendships between the liudaotang squad, the sibling dynamics between NYZ and YY and how it parallels with RRY and LTG.

It really highlights the different kinds of love that one person can have in this life, like the platonic love between YSS and NYZ (imo), the familial love between YL and NYZ, the romantic love between RRY and NYZ, all of it really balances out and i love that.

Then there is also the fked up obsessive love that LTG has for RRY, and the drama shows that you can still recover from that (we are ignoring ep 37 here), it shows that you can still move on from that and grow from there- you may not necessarily forget them and that is okay.

Episode 26, 36 "my master is the only woman I'll ever love."

Then theres also the love for the country, embodied by how LTG and YY entered a loveless marriage for the sake of their countries (ep 37), and for the sake of protecting what their loved ones are fighting (and died) for.

It is also, arguably, shown by how Qian Zhao died to save the King's life for the sake of maintaining peace in Wu, even though his entire objective was to kill the King.

Another thing I really liked was the emphasis they gave to Yang Ying's relationships, her attempts at finding love and the way they validate her feelings about it- she had just realised how much of a scumbag Zheng Qingyun is, eventually moved on to slowly having feelings for Yuan Lu, but entered a political marriage with Li Tongguang in the end- and she's still so young.

"As long as you gave a clear conscience, even if a woman has only loved one person, or loved multiple people in her life, she still deserves respect"

(Lastly, there's Yu Shisan who's like. the embodiment of love in this drama- not just because of his flirtatious nature, but its in those small scenes that really shows how deeply he loves.

There's the start of the show, where he volunteers to take the punishment in Yang Ying's steed (ep 6),

then there's the episode where NYZ clarifies to Ruyi that it's because YSS is too worried that he is acting indifferent (ep 8). Then there's all the scenes where he periodically checks up on NYZ (ep 10, 31, etc), his concern for Ruyi putting all her eggs in one basket (ep 20ish), the talk between him and JMN where she admits that YSS treated her well (ep 30).

And then there's his death. There's this wonderful post that has been haunting me for months. How do you save Yu Shisan, when half the people he loves is dead? How do you save him when, even if he survives, would not allow himself the love that he gives away so freely? (see: first half of episode 39)).

Just know that this show has me feral over it's brilliant writing. They got me from the very beginning when they portrayed NYZ's emotional intelligence and acceptance of RRY and his consideration for her. (and when they introduced Yuan Lu. I went: that's my blorbo from this show).

#i am so completely normal about this show #I am so sorry to be yapping about this show again #it just. suddenly hit me in class. about this show and the theme of love #a journey to love #Ning Yuanzhou #Yu Shisan #Ren Ruyi #Yuan Lu #did i write three paragraphs for yss? no you didn't see anything #i wanted to put more screenshots in this but alas the media limit

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that-spider-fan-over-there · 6 months ago

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Okay I have calmed down from the leaks since last night- And I have opinions (some of them are salty; again, it's because I hate leak nights XP)

Yeah I stand by what I said: This isn't the end for Tenko, since his Quirk is still half of Overhaul's, there's a chance he'll get a Quirk Awakening the vestige world (or wherever the frick that dude is, AFO/OFA all but were mutually destroyed).

So maybe it is a rebirth (If there's a chapter called "Tenko Shimura: Rising" or "Rebirth" remember I called it XD) for him, either rising from the ashes like a phoenix or even shedding that coccon from the butterfly metaphor, it is one of his motifs after all.

I'm also split 50/50 on Izuku ending the series Quirkless, but I believe it's a red herring- because he and Tenko did fist bump before he decayed, bloodied fist. OFA has a conscience of it's own, so if you say it was a "Heroes: Rising" ending I'm gonna have to ask "from the drafts" or the "final product". But to be fair I was already biased when it comes to this outcome.

Also, that thing from Chapter 362, I'm still on edge about that one; because it could've been an afterlife thing but he doesn't even know what Aura Might looks like, so maybe we'll get a return on that (I'm sorry for constantly bringing it up but I refuse to believe that was a small easter egg HORIKOSHI WHY WAS KATSUKI THERE-)

Oh yeah, speaking of which: if the goal was a perfect victory with no casualties, then Izuku won against AFO to save Tenko, but the mission isn't finished yet until he sees Tenko taking his hand with a smile; how is he gonna do that, unsure, but he does have a knack for making unlikely things happen. Remember, Eri herself wasn't saved until she smiled at the Cultural Festival.

Also maybe (and it's a huge maybe) that's the thing that breaks the hidden POV- faced with a failure from the very thing he was trying to avoid, breaking down because. Well look at everything he got thrown at him post-PLF, burdened to save the world, failing to save someone and realizing he can't be a sitting duck, finding out one of his friends was a traitor, didn't even get time to process Katsuki's death, thought he'd be unable to stop Toshinori's, for a brief moment lost his arms-

This one might actually make him get close to a Despair Event Horizon, (I'm 100% sure if Mirio wasn't there he'd shut down by 367) ... then somehow, he gets convinced to not give up, of course it's by Katsuki (he's already there might as well XP) because he's the only one that can make things stick in Izuku's head atp, finding the motivation and getting that mixed with determination to say it's not over yet. And it isn't.

Besides, I don't trust the leakers to do a good translation over bait interactions, they've done it three times that I know of, so uh maybe don't gather your emotions from what they say; trust me, it's an annoying spiral of doomerism.

... plus if Tenko actually somehow transferred something of AFO/OFA they don't have the vestiges anymore so uh maybe something is still shimmering under the surface (I'm getting my own hopes up XD). Also again I do want a follow-up on 362 because I want Tenko and Katsuki to interact it'd be very funny even with the angst in my freaking opinion please-

And one more thing: I have yet to see Izuku reaching out with a smile to save others like he wanted in the first place.

TL;DR: It's most likely a red herring, Tenko is gonna shed the Tomura mask he was trapped in and come back somehow, maybe the vestige world is intact but without the users or AFO, and I still wanna know what the fuck was 362 about. Also no offense but.

This fight is only gonna be a loss if Izuku finally breaks down, gives up and no one (*cough*letsberealitsKatsuki*cough*) is able to convince him otherwise. And we get a shit time skip. Either of the last two would have to happen for this to be real and it hasn't yet so wait this ain't over.

#spider.posts #Boku no Hero Academia #BNHA Leaks #BNHA Spoilers #MHA Spoilers #Midoriya Izuku #Shimura Tenko #rule 1: enjoy the leaks reactions. rule 2: never trust the leakers themselves. rule 3: there are better translators please-#pikahlua. bakuhatsufallinlove and oshiawaseni here. been_beenmaigto on twt. they have more accurate translations #can't guarantee they're perfect but I can guarantee they're leagues better because they actually dig the story's meaning damn it #I do have a lot of mixed negative feelings about this chapter but let's not jump to doomerism yet

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waxxencapri · 3 months ago

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Hey! Theory about the beast cookies under the cut (posted during star coral update) (long post TL;DR at the bottom)

All of the beasts want all of their respective soul jams, so far it’s implied that the extra soul will give them more power but I don’t think that’s the case. We’ve been told what happened by an unreliable narrator before and I think we can piece together what might have actually happened to the beasts! My theory does rely on a fair leap in logic, that being the ‘at least two covens’ theory to work so I will explain that first.

I believe that we have two main groups of witches in the game so far. The Crispia group and the Beast Yeast group. The thing that separates them is not only where they live but also their principles around eating cookies, I think the Crispia group only eats non-sentient cookies while the Beast Yeast group eats living cookies.

The beasts were most likely baked by the Beast Yeast group and set loose upon the continent to keep other cookies in check so that the Beast Yeast witches could just go outside and grab cookies to eat instead of having to bake them. The Beasts did form whole cities at the very least so they were cultivating the local cookies in some way.

However at some point the Beasts discover that the witches are eating the cookies and due to their inherent nature the Beasts make a plan to protect the cookies from getting eaten which obviously gets in the way of the witches plans making it so they need to get the Beasts out of the picture. They can’t just kill the beasts as that would cause alarm in the wider cookie population and make them harder to hunt so they devise a plan.

The witches break the Beast’s souls into two halves of good and evil, leaving the evil side within the Beasts and turning the good side into the soul jams the ancients now have. They then release the newly corrupted Beast cookies into the world and let them cause destruction before imprisoning them. Making them look like the good guys and getting the Beasts out of the picture.

However since the Beasts were still made to protect cookies they’re still trying to do it in the only way they can. By getting the other half of their souls back so they can finally stop hurting the other cookies and take down the witches.

TL;DR: The Beasts figured out that the witches were eating cookies and in turn the witches made them evil so they couldn’t do anything about it.

#beast cookies #theory crafting #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #let’s see how this ages

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defmaybe · 3 months ago

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When is "Mistake" going to be posted🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hello my first ask!!!

tl;dr, full version after keep reading: I vaulted the first version. But y’all seem to want this, so I’ll try to push it out as soon as possible. My best guarantee is in a year + a few shorter works on the way.

Into the main story, I was going to debut with Mistake lol. However, a few editors/beta readers gave feedback regarding the work as too demanding, which I do understand their concerns.

See, many aspects in the first version require readers’ enormous efforts to connect the dots, and by enormous, I mean it’s sometimes incomprehensible. Some of the parts were written while I was drowsy, sometimes drunk even. And to be fair, the work is currently too raw under my emotions.

Plus, I relied too much on Google Docs grammar assistant, and the work didn’t meet many of the grammatical rules. I thought my decent competency in English would help avoiding those pitfalls (it didn’t). So, that 15k of words are currently in the storage. I can’t assure if I’ll have the courage to open it again.

Still, with the unbelievable reception - currently 200+ notes for just a few words lol, more than one-third of Noona from the Bar, I’ve restarted the work mere hours ago. I’m keeping the core of it, pretty much - Minji angst then Haewon fluff + smut. And I’m very sure that it’s going to be of the same length as the first version.

Now, I want this to be as good as possible (half as good as @capslocked’s Departure would be an honor), so it’s going to take a lot of refinements. The first took around four months of on-and-off writing, so I’m not sure regarding the release date of the new one. But I can guarantee you one thing, I’ll definitely write it; it’s a very personal story that I’ve been aching to tell with the help of these two women. And starting now, I’m expecting a year at most, paralleled with a few more works along the way.

Again, thanks for being my first ask! It’s an honor.🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇

#def asks

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 2 years ago

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some ted and rebecca musings in a post-3.04 world

a thought i’m taking away from the ted/rebecca 3.04 interactions--

i think it’s so interesting how rebecca keeps taking too much from ted and yet she’s just not picking up on it. she catches that he’s not quite okay in fleeting moments and she genuinely cares, and i think she likes him so much, but then whenever she’s reminded of her rupert-induced pain, everything else goes out the window. like, i think rebecca has finally accepted as part of her reality that ted is really on her side, even if they’re not the hang-out-all-the-time super-close besties that, say, she and keeley are. maybe it even feels more powerful somehow because it's this polite, almost courtly love-style connection (ft. way more puns than your standard white knightery) but she also knows he’s pretty ride-or-die for her. biscuits with the boss is still going strong after a year and a half! (the mind boggles. think about the logistics of that!) she’s safe with him. and so asking ted to fight for her against rupert, because he’s occupied this sort of guardian angel role in her life for awhile now, feels really natural to her. and because ted has always been so supportive of her and she probably associates him with almost being a salve to the hurt that rupert inflicted on her, i don’t think it’s really occurring to her that this pressure is taking a lot out of him. (and in fairness to rebecca -- as far as we know, he hasn’t told her how he’s doing in detail for a LONG time. and he was the one who said “our” when discussing them vs. rupert in the s2 finale!) but i think that now that he’s spoken up to michelle, he might be on the way -- in the next few episodes -- to reaching his breaking point re: keeping quiet about how rebecca is stressing him out and asking too much of him. (as a friend, if not as her gaffer. and there’s a tricky space to occupy right there!) and i’m not sure how well rebecca would take that at first.

also, just for more agony: how much of their behavior might be informed by their marriages and those relationship patterns?

idk, i just think there’s a lot of good juicy tension and echoes of their s1 conflict going on here and i really hope the rest of the season explores it! please!!!! let jason s and hannah w destroy us with their beautiful acting!!!!! they have the range!!!!!! and maybe it could resolve in, oh, i don’t know, them both getting some experience in healthy communication in a human relationship as they figure it out together!

or rebecca totally got over the rupert thing when she saw him being such a consistent scrub in 3.04 and all of this is already resolved. only next week will tell!

tl;dr -- i like the idea of ted and rebecca having a lot of messy stuff to work through before they get to happier times together. (and the happier times will happen!!!!!! i’m manifesting it!!!!!! 💜) because they have truly accumulated so much mess at this point. and wouldn’t it be a shame to waste it??

#sorry i won't shut up #but you only get the alleged final season of ted lasso once!!!!#(... maybe?)#so i've decided to really be all in #dollsome's deep thoughts #ted x rebecca #tedbecca #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso #also i saw another post mention that rebecca and ted's and rupert and nate's office scenes were sorta paralleled to each ohter #*other #and the idea of those relationships as foils this season has got me really like '!!!!!!!!!'#oh boy we're in for it #i am normal about this romantic comedy tv program

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stitching-in-time · 1 month ago

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Voyager rewatch s5 ep11: Latent Image

Another Doctor episode, which was fine for the first half when it was a mystery to be solved, but once the truth was revealed, it kind of fell apart.

Knowing the reveal at the end, I wasn't especially excited for this one, since even back when I first saw it I thought the the Doctor went pretty over the top with his reaction, but I hoped maybe it would improve on rewatch. It didn't really.

The mystery of who erased the Doctor's memories worked well, but there's a lot of stuff here that doesn't make sense, and the revelation that he'd had a breakdown over having to chose which crew member to save, when he ony had time to save one, didn't make a whole lot of sense either. His big deal is that he's somehow a terrible person for choosing his friend over an ensign he didn't know as well, and it sends him into a downward spiral that's so extreme that it necessitates his memory of the event being wiped. But that seems a drastic step to take before just, like, actually talking to him. Maybe if someone would have sat him down and just told him that doesn't make him a monster, it just makes him human, it might have given him some perspective and calmed him down eventually. Someone should have told him that as soon as he started yelling and trashing stuff. And someone should have explained that sometimes all the choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to chose, so that that situation isn't made worse by inaction. I mean, what else could he have done in that situation? Chosen to let his friend die so he could feel fair and impartial?? That's absurd, especially with Tom in the room at the time- Harry is his best friend, was the Doctor really supposed to have let Tom's best friend die in front of him when he could save him?? How would that have been better?? It wouldn't. And the fact that the Doctor is so upset about the other ensign's death proves that he knows her life has as much value as Harry's, but when there's nothing to tip the scales but your personal feelings, everyone will try to save the people they love most. it's still sad, but it's not immoral, it's just reality.

The whole thing about Janeway being like 'he's just a computer, not a person, we had to reprogram him' felt weird and wrong for this late in the series too. We've been past that for a while, they all think of him as a part of the crew, and as a friend, and I don't believe for a second no one would have tried to reason with him, or talk to him about it before just giving up and altering his program. Janeway did end up just talking to him and being there to support him as the ultimate resolution of the episode anyway, so it feels contrived to have her suddenly go back to early season one 'the doctor isn't a person' thinking, just so she can 'overcome' it later on in the ep. It's yet another case of ignoring years worth of character development and changing the characters to suit whatever the plot of the week is, rather than making the stories fit the characters, as any good show should. It's so frustrating!

And I hate how yet again, we have Seven coming and telling Janeway she's wrong, and having it be framed as though she has the moral highground, and Janeway is so bad. Stop pitting female characters against each other all the time! Stop using Seven to undermine Janway's authority! I want to tear my hair out every time they do this!!

And still, throughout the entire episode, no one ever actually says to the doctor that he's not a bad person for chosing to save a friend over an acquaintance, which seems like it should have been a central theme, but it was just overlooked. All in all, an episode that was trying to be deep and thoughtful, but didn't really know what the heck it was trying to say.

Tl;dr: An episode that was all about the Doctor, but it didn't give him much to do except yell a lot. It didn't seem to know what it was trying to say, and mischaracterized Janeway to boot. It took the whole episode to get where it should have been in the first place, and ended up being kind of pointless, ultimately.

#star trek: voyager #voyager rewatch #rewatching star trek #star trek voyager #star trek

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sanflower0w0 · 3 months ago

Note

My assumption about you is that you like sunflowers, please confirm or dispute 🌻👀

Hello!!!

That's actually a fair assumption, based on my username. But actually, I'm quite neutral about sunflowers!

I wanted my username to have "san" in it, and maybe something that would pronounce it similar to "sun", like the one in the sky, rather than "san" as in sanity.

At first, it was meant to be a temporary username until I found something that felt more "me". On tumblr, "sanflower" was unavailable, so it turned into "sanflower0w0" because I like that kaomoji. Then I discovered that this username was available on all the platforms I was using! So I took it. :3

Still, it was supposed to be just a placeholder.

And then I met my partner who loves yellow. Specifically a warm sunshine yellow. Like sunflowers!

Ever since I learned that, the colour yellow became dear to me. It made me happy because it reminded me of the way my artist then-bestie now-partner lit up when they saw pretty yellow things!!

Over time, the username stayed. Partly because I never got around to thinking up something else, and partly because I like to think that reading the username might remind them of pretty yellow sunflowers and bring a bit of joy. :3

tl;dr: I like sunflowers an average amount, but I love the idea that it might remind my special someone of something they enjoy. Also I've been burnt out for like a year and a half straight(gay) and haven't thought much about usernames. :3

#asksanflower #ask #about sanflower

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gentleeclipsey · 9 months ago

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Was it worth it?

I swear to god if this is who I think it is I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I'm going to be brutally fucking honest about my feelings and I don't care, if you decide to read this that's on you. I have blocked you five times, there is a hint and then there's a blatant get the fuck away from me.

But, if you're not who I think you are, in some capacity I'd say yes. Fair warning, a lot of bad stuff mentioned, also a bit of a rant because I've never told anyone outside a few friends who aren't on tumblr. Also I'm sorry, this is gonna be long and disjointed, the whole thing makes me angry to an unnatural degree, I've never been this angry at someone in my life. TL;DR just below the cut:

TL;DR: my ex destroyed my mental state and Trollhunters made me realize that, now I'm single and happier for it. Now onto the rage.

I made a lot of friends despite my partner's actions, and I have characters who I absolutely love, I'm free, I feel good, I'm not scared to be alive. I'd say it wasn't worth all the bullshit I put up with. I'm angry at myself because I was so spineless, even now I still can't fucking make heads or tails of half the shit that happened.

I don't care anymore. They'll always see me as a horrible person, I did my best and I was never enough, I'd never be enough no matter how much I tried. No matter how many times I cried, no matter how many times I had to hide things from myself so I wouldn't leave new marks, no matter how many times I apologized, it'd always be my own fault and at this point I've just accepted I was fucking pathetic and horrible and I don't care. I had to spend every waking fucking moment catering to them, talking to them, and they'd get angry because I wouldn't realize what was wrong and I wouldn't fucking pry it out of them and bend over backwards for days to make them feel better. I had to ask for a break somewhere in the middle because between classes, work, and them, I was so fucking overwhelmed and I tried to explain it to them but they didn't believe me or didn't care but every time they had the chance they'd rub my face in the fact they were so hurt over the fact I needed a break to regather myself.

Mind you, their pain was more important than mine. When I first had Jackie, she was my favorite OC. I loved using her, I still do, but they hid their feelings about her for so long that when they told me they didn't like her and called my emotions toxic for being upset. When they tried to rub that break in my fucking face again I told them about the absolute painful hurt I felt over what they told me and most essentially they basically told me that pain didn't mean anything because it wasn't like their pain. I was fucking trying to craft her to be appealing to them, to make her what they wanted so we could just be happy again but they fucking threw all that out the window.

Wanna hear the best part? I couldn't fucking talk to anyone outside of them publicly, even to use Jackie with others despite the fact they hated her. I have Sage to thank, because they were the first person I interacted with publicly that made me start seeing my partner for who they were. They got so fucking mad over a short text RP, later told me they wanted me to make friends, then fucking went back on it and fucking got upset because I apparently treated people I talked to casually better than them.

They rubbed my face in the fact they had breakdowns in public because of shit they started. When I'd pass out they'd get quiet with me and have a short temper but if they passed out I had to be understanding. If they vanished for days at a time I wasn't allowed to be upset but if I vanished they'd have a fucking breakdown. I made myself be so understanding to them becsuse they were sick and they never fucking thought twice. Never. Because I wasn't sick like them that meant I always had to be perfectly fine. Always. Perfectly. Fucking. Fine. They admitted to me they tried to train me. Train me. Like I'm a dog. Like I'm a fucking dog. I cannot begin to tell you the absolute whirlwind of rage I felt in the moment I read that but I kept my head by some fucking miracle.

Trollhunters is what broke the back of all the shit that'd been happening. It started with Undertale, it ended with Trollhunters, and they took my fucking OC from me and told me for years that that OC wasn't mine exclusively, and now I don't have a fucking choice. I can't even begin to describe the absolutely disgusting anger I feel over the fact I literally can do nothing to get my OC back because they've told me for years she wasn't mine and I can't fucking remember anything clearly and I doubt myself constantly now. I cannot begin to describe the absolute disgust it makes me feel I can't do anything to fucking get my OC back and that I hate more of my OCs because of their bullshit.

To contact a fucking artist, an amazing, wonderful person fucking 5 years later and say that I stole their OC and to take down the art? What the fuck. Funnily enough, I have Jackie most specifically to thank for making me realize! Wanna know what the fuck they said to me? "I was upset because I felt you loved her more than me." I WISH I WAS FUCKING LYING. I have so few screenshots but Jesus fucking christ I cannot explain to you the absolute seriousness in which that was stated.

I cannot even begin to describe the anger I feel over everything that happened. Not in the fucking slightest. They always accused me of not loving them anymore, of hating them, when they first started saying that it wasn't true, but now I can't fucking stand the idea of them anymore. I hope they see all the shit I do now, how much I draw Jackie being happy despite their shit.

So yeah. I have Trollhunters and Jackie to thank for helping me realize how bad things had gotten, because if it weren't for my absolute hyperfocus on it I don't think I would've seen what'd happened as soon as I did. There are so many emotions in here I can't describe at all, and I know if they saw this they'd immediately try attacking me publicly. Hell they might see this because I've had to block four fucking accounts already. Five if you count discord.

I feel like I should've taken way more screenshots than I did, but I'm not going to post them, I want to move on from this but I have so much simmering rage over what's happened its taking me a while. They're not in the Trollhunters fandom, at least, they're barely on social media as is aside from lingering accounts. Trollhunters is my safe space now, as is Jackie and my closest friends.

#tw self h4rm #anger #rant #might delete #i love my friends #tw rant #rage

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