#to be fair it is taking more than i thought to get myself the bravery to try and leave a job i been at 10yrs

[noctomania]

Me taking a week to get my shit together to apply for a new job:

[blitzor0de0]

Hihi! Can I pretty please get a Saint Peter x sinner!reader where reader visits heaven with Vaggie and Charlie. Peter and her (or them if readers written as gendernutural) kind of have a love at first sight moment? One shot if possible!

-self proclaimed anon ✖︎

ohoho I know of you anon!! Hopefully this is everything you wanted, made it a life at first sight to a small date between the two !!

cw: none really, brief mention of biblical saint Peter, no y/n used, gn! reader but is referred to as "pretty" once

word count: 1.4k

part 2 part 3 part 4

Holy Ground (Saint Peter x Sinner!Reader)

Now when Charlie suggested that you should join her and Vaggie to visit Heaven.. To say you were surprised would be quite the understatement. You ended up in Hell for a reason so the mere thought of seeing those pearly gates, well it was rather exciting! …And nerve-wracking.

Your belief in Charlie's venture for sinners to be redeemed was an interesting one for sure, a little sceptical, but seeing how enthused and determined the Princess was, well.. You were swayed, and hopefully redemption was on your near future bucket list.

Bidding a quick farewell to your fellow hotel inhabitants you stepped through the portal to face the blinding golden rays of Heaven and its gates.

Dumbfounded, you stared at the exterior, jaw slightly agape not quite fully listening to the couple besides you.

The only thing to break your focus,

“Hiya! Welcome to Heaven. Can I get your name, please?”

Snapping your head in an almost alarming rate to the source of the voice, you found yourself growing increasingly flustered.

The man before you was gorgeous, stunning even.. You weren't even sure if there were any words in the English lexicon to describe the ethereal man before you.

Turquoise eyes, curly blond hair, and an overly cheery, yet silly voice. You had hardly noticed the conversation between Charlie and the keeper of the key.

It was only when Vaggie nudged you with a quirked brow did you regain any sense of normalcy.

In a mild act of bravery you asked his name, it was only polite to do so. With a small surprised expression upon his face alongside a hardly noticeable blush, he went to answer but got interrupted by Sera instead, a small pout taking over his features as the attention was shifted to the two Serafim.

Saint Peter…

His name echoed in your mind. You knew him.. Well of him, one of Jesus’ apostles or something of the sort.. He was a lot different than you expected him to be…

a lot different

You gained a little bit more of intel about him through his song. Overly peppy, charismatic.. a little flirty too, it was rather surprising. Also the moaning during the song.. It felt almost sinful for an angel to do, or so you thought.

So when you, Vaggie, and Charlie split off to venture Heaven’s plaza, you decided it was only fair to scout down the only man who piqued your interest.

Thankfully, he wasn't stationed at his post, opting to reside at the ice cream plaza, sneaking up behind him and spoke a soft “Hi.”

Giggling, you watched him jolt in surprise as he turned to face you, a soft smile growing upon his features.

“Hiya! You're that Sinner accompanying.. Lucifer’s daughter, aren't you? I'm Saint Peter.. though you already know that! You're actually the first person ever to have asked my name at the gates so it took me for quite a surprise!! Oh I'm getting ahead of myself, what's your name?” He rambled.. Cute.

After giving your name to the angel, his smile only grew. “That's a delightful name! How did a pretty thing like you end up in Hell, from what I've seen so far you're up to Heaven's standards.” Peter spoke, subtly flirting.

It was rare for Peter to come in contact with sinners, the thought of how corrupt they must've been in life sent shivers down his spine, but there must've been something different about you.

What you didn't notice when you first arrived were turquoise eyes peering at you from the second your presence was known in Heaven.. Peter was enamoured. Sure everyone in Heaven was hot, he even stated so through song format, but there was a certain sparkle in your eyes when seeing the pearly gates which filled Peter with a sense of pride, his heart almost fluttered.

But then you asked his name.

An act of common courtesy, yet something in Peter’s millennia of existence had never experienced, people were typically so excited with the fact that they made it to Heaven, or wanted to see God, Jesus, a former lover or family member, even Adam. He was just the Keeper of the Key, what did he matter to them?

So asking for his name at the gates, well you may as well have just proposed on the spot, thank the lord he was able to hide his excitement and fluster.

Back to the present, your small blush wasn't unnoticed by the angel, in fact it only egged him on, “Come, sit! Have some ice cream with me, any flavours you prefer, we've got everything here!”

“Everything?” You questioned, taking a seat opposite the angel.

“Mhm! Anything you can imagine we've got. Pistachio, butter pecan, mint choco chip, birthday cake, anything!”

There was that sparkle in your eye again. “Woah..” You spoke breathlessly, “Down in Hell we, uh.. Don't really have ice cream… or anything particularly edible like there was on Earth. In fact I can't even remember the last time I even had ice cream.” You awkwardly laughed, causing Peter’s eyes to widen.

“Seriously?! I had heard things were… forgive my language, rather shitty down there.. But nothing edible?” He looked dumbfounded, how did you survive down there? He quickly perked up. “Well then! I insist, pick as many flavours as you like! My treat.”

“No no, you don't have t-” You were quickly cut off.

“My treat!”

Nodding, you chose the flavours you so desired, and promptly, the sundae glasses were placed in front of the two of you.

Taking your first bite, it was as if you were seeing Heaven… In a figurative sense, you were physically there after all. It was everything you had ever imagined and more.

Peter, watching you with a soft smile, was truly thinking how you ended up in Lucifer's grasp. You were as angelic as it came.

Conversation came easily to the two of you, even explaining the reason for your visit.. Rehabilitation for sinners?

It echoed in Peter's mind. Interesting, very interesting. It was never something that crossed his mind that Hell was overpopulated.

Enthused, stars in his eyes, Peter expressed his encouragement for the three of you. “Seriously? This is huge!! Would add a tonne of workload on me but, if anything, I think the first redeemed soul should be you! You've already shown so much potential, and frankly, I think you deserved to be here in the first place! With the evidence you mentioned Charlie has, there's no doubt that Sera will have to agree! Ooh this is so exciting!” He exclaimed, wings fluttering to match his energy.

“I know! I didn't have a lot of faith in Charlie at the beginning but, that girl is incredibly determined, I won't let this be another failed dream for her, she deserves this..” You spoke fondly, a small sigh escaping your lips before your eyes were filled with shock and realisation of Peter's words.

“Wait. I. What? You seriously think I could manage to get up here? I.. I'm not so sure about that, I haven't really shown any signs of change, or redemption.. I've just been myself the whole time I've been in Hell, well.. besides adapting to, well, everything.”

Peter could only flash you a smile, “Yeah. You deserve it, I'm not sure about these other residents of the hotel you've mentioned, but I'm sure they could make it up here with Charlie's guidance.”

You were stunned, if an important angel like Saint Peter could get on Charlie's side, then it would be no problem getting the Serafim to agree too! Maybe.

“Well, thank you, Peter.. Truly, I'm glad someone here agrees.” You smiled at him, arguably the most genuine smile you had held in your afterlife.

Taking your hand, Peter pressed a small kiss to the back of your hand. “It's no problem at all, anyways, that meeting should be starting soon, right? Best be getting there, Sera isn't fond of late comers.”

Flustered, you stood, holding your hand with your other, a small tingle lingering from his kiss. “R..Right! Well.. Hopefully I'll see you soon, Peter. Thank you”

And with that you left with a little pep in your step, which didn't go unnoticed by Peter, head resting in his hand as he watched you leave.

You made a mental promise to yourself ensuring your path to redemption came before anything else from then on.

[recoverr]

How does one begin to love themselves in the face of unending terror and guilt?

i wish i knew, but i'm going to do my best to answer you. fair disclaimer that i'm extremely sick and i've got brain fog, so if nothing makes sense, i'll come back to it later on.

guilt is only as productive as our willingness to change. a lot of times it comes accompanied by the shame of what we should have been. there's no sustainable change through shame, i think we all realize that at some point in life.

as cliché as it sounds, what happened happened, there's only the future.

i know the terror can feel unending. it brings up a lot of despair. i know despair can be my biggest enemy. more than half of the times i thought about leaving this world were due to despair. i couldn't stomach living with so much pain in the world and inside me.

but despair is profitable for the ones that want you meek and calm. not only profitable but accommodating. in a sort of "things won't ever get better, so why fight anyways" way. i read a couple of articles on author and activists mariame kaba and kelly hayes on nihilism and pessimism. they published a book i've been wanting to read for a long time, in one of the articles they said, "let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair".

i know it's easier said than done. i myself tend to cave in to despair, but despair is often passive. you sit on the couch, you contemplate all the ways life sucks and often times, you don't do anything about it. if we sink into despair, into the terror and the guilt, we'll stay bed-ridden, watching bad reality tv as the world outside comes crashing down.

terror and guilt are not the be all, end all of life. they exist as a consequence rather than a doomed fate which is set in stone. nihilism is uncreative. it already sets itself up for failure, because for us, humans, there is no safer thing than predictability - even if it means you'll fail and all is doomed. at least, it seems safe.

but goodness, hope, self-love and courage take imagination and bravery. they demand us to create new patterns, new stories, new solutions. it is often easier to be evil and to hate ourselves. you can think of a million ways to harm yourself or others, but it takes strength and creativity to build connections and foster hope.

and i found that creativity, that hope and optimism are powerful antidotes. trying again and again. when the headlines tell you thousands of people are ded by the hands of a zionist state or an epidemic threatens to kill us all, we don't stay passive. we have to be brave enough to ask - what if there is more than this terror, what if there is more than this guilt? what if i can do something about it?

what if you deserve more than this terror, too? what if we all do? what if you do deserve love and good things, just like any other human being? and what if those things are actually possible and real?

[writingpages]

crossing the threshold

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Summary: crossing the threshold signifies that the hero has finally committed to the journey. he is prepared to cross the gateway that separates the ordinary world from the special world. the crossing may require more than accepting one’s fears or a map.

Rating: T

Ships: Yuesi Fudo/Aki Izayoi

Warnings: canon typical violence, all the warnings that come with calamity ganon

It is possible for him to simply press the travel point on his map by Kakiriko Village to get back, but he elects to take Epona back. He needs time to think about everything he'd just learned from Anzu, and to consider what he is heading towards. On his way back to his horse, however, a woman stops him with a look of desperation on her face. "Are you capable with a sword, sir?"

He glances around to see if she might be speaking to anyone else, but there appears to be no one else she might be speaking to. "I consider myself to be somewhat capable, yes."

"There are monsters on Hateno Beach," she says, pointing towards the beach. This is a comment that he finds strangely unnecessary. He bites his tongue to avoid saying that there are monsters everywhere. "They stole my livestock, and they keep stealing it. No one in town has the bravery to stop them, and any mercenary I ask balks when they learn of the amount of monsters. There's Moblins, Lizalfos, and Bokoblins. I understand if it is too much, and... I admit I cannot offer much, but I don't know where else to ask."

The woman's pleas are desperate enough to spark the desire to help, and he nods. "I will take care of them. What's the best way to Hateno Beach from here?"

Her eyes widen. "You will? Oh, thank you! If you walk on that hill over there, there is a quick way to the beach through there. It's better to go on foot, and it should only take you an hour or two to make it. If you are quiet enough, you might even be able to hide amongst the grass from them to surprise them."

He nods, and makes his way to the beach. He knows that he is supposed to go to Lady Asuka, but surely she could understand this? It isn't like he is taking his time to go shopping, after all. He's providing help to the fallen kingdom. No one could fault him the desire to take care of the unfortunate. On top of the hills that descended to the beach, he could see the smoke from a campfire. Under scope, he could get a glimpse of the amount of monsters, finding that the woman had not exaggerated her claim about it being a large amount. He could spy a Moblin, at least three Bokoblins, and a Lizalfos. They were a different color from what he'd faced earlier - tougher, perhaps? A color coding system detonating their threat level, like a poisonous frog. Now why had that comparison come to mind?

He looked into his quiver to check the amount of arrows he had - seventeen arrows for what appeared to be five enemies. A decent amount as long as his arrow landed true into the skull of the monsters. He pulls his hood up as he made his way towards the camp, keeping low to the ground. He uses the camera rune on a nearby animal to see if the compendium worked the way he thought it might. When the squirrel shows up in the compendium, he knows he got it right. He has a chance now to figure out what the names of the monsters that lurk in front of him are through this technology. He snaps a photo of the tallest monsters in the distance, and discovers it is called a Blue Moblin. The beast is ugly, taller than him, and appears to be extremely strong. He manages to snap photos of the rest, figuring out a red colored monster was weaker than a blue colored monster. From there, he devised a plan to divide and conquer: isolate the weaker ones away, take them out, then take the stronger ones in a fair fight.

Yusei mounts his offense, separating the weakest monsters from the group and quietly taking them out with a clean arrow shot to the head before they could attract attention towards him. This enables him to take on the blue Bokoblin in short but quick spar, ending with the monster's dead body falling to the ground first. He surges forward, taking on the Blue Moblin just as quick with a strike to its back. The women's goats enclosed in the camp catches his eye and he checks the time: 3:50 P.M. He certain could have this camp taken out and the woman's goats back to her before the sun set. He sinks back into hiding as he spots a monster with a new, darker color. A quick snap of their photo reveals it is a black Bokoblin and the toughest of the bunch. It warns him that most people do not survive an encounter with the beast. With two others in camp, it would be smarter to finish the rest before facing this one head on.

He is worn down by his battle, and takes a moment to tend to his wounds before cleaning up the rest of the camp with two fire arrows shot directly to their head. The beasts seemed to subcome to their fate far quicker this way. He proceeds to raid their camp for supplies, finding a ruby, some arrows, and some food. A fairly good haul and a good deed done, Yusei proceeds to head back to the village to inform the woman of his victory and bringing her goats along with him.

The woman's eyes widened as he came back, rushing forward to take her goats from. "Thank you so much for your bravery," she said, leading him back to the house. "My name is Koyin. Please, let me repay for your kindness. Take some fresh milk from our ranch and please, stay the night with us. You're welcome to come by to chat whenever you'd like, too."

"Thank you, miss," he says quietly as she takes his hand, uncertain how to react. "You're too kind. It is getting late and I'm low on rupees, so it would be nice to sleep somewhere safe tonight."

"I imagine so," Koyin says with a soft blush. "It's not often we get such strong, brave travelers in Hateno. What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't but... my name is Yusei."

"Yusei," she says with a smile that slowly grows larger on her face. "Well, Yusei, I have a spare bed in my house that you can stay in. I'll even warm the blankets for you so you don't have to worry about the cold. And please, let me mend your tunic. It's the least I can do... I can also dress your wound as well."

He hadn't even noticed one of the monsters had gotten a good lick on him. In no position to say no to her kindness, he allows her to take his tunic and bandage up the wound on his stomach. She insists on warming his blankets, and fluffing his pillow for him in addition to providing him a warm cup of stew. It is the first hearty meal he'd had in a long while that he could recall. It was the most comfortable stay he'd had in a while too. It almost felt embarrassing to be pampered so much, but she insists she didn't mind.

In the morning, she is awake at the same time as him cooking something that smells good - eggs. "You're welcome to stay whenever you like, Yusei," Koyin says softly. "Really, I cannot thank you enough for bringing my goats back home."

"Thank you for being so polite, Miss Koyin," he replies as he takes the spot at the table she gestures to. "I have no plans on overstaying my welcome, however."

"Oh it's no trouble at all," she says with pink blush tinged cheeks that confuses Yusei. "Please, consider staying with me whenever you need the comforts of a home, Yusei. And again... thank you for saving my flock."

She plates up some eggs, putting them down in front of him. Unwilling to refuse such a nice gesture, he hurriedly ate the eggs, before standing up. "I must be going," he says, suddenly uncomfortably aware that she has an interest in him that he does not return. He isn't even certain he's in a position to be returning her affection - he still does not know what Aki and him even had. His status as a single man was questionable at best. "Lady Asuka in Kakariko is awaiting my arrival and it would be rude to keep her waiting." The tower is visible from Koyrin's home, and he thought it might be a smart idea to get the map for this area before he leaves for Kakariko.

As he walks to the town proper, he is stopped by someone advertising the ability to dye his tunic for him. Yusei isn't sure how he was talked into it, but he winds up agreeing to get his tunic dyed. After going over the color options, he winds up choosing to dye it gray. It was an experience he has zero plans to do again. He gets stopped again, and this time the woman who stops him isn't asking for his combat. She directs him into the general store, suggesting that he might want to buy some supplies for his travels. "We so rarely get travelers around here, and I'd hate for you to go on your way without getting anything."

It was her sincerity that threw him off and he agrees to head into sell off his gemstones. The shop sold a stock of arrows, so he went ahead and bought those as well. It was, after all, going to be a precious resource as he moves forward. The shopkeeper makes polite small talk despite eyeing Yusei with suspicion - this is perhaps because as the person outside the general store said: there was not many travelers who came to Hateno. However, one question stops Yusei in his tracks. "So where'd you come from, traveler?"

Yusei wasn't sure how to answer that. He didn't know where he was born. He had no known family. If they were alive, surely Anzu or Lady Asuka would have told him who they were. Yusei shrugs in response. "I don't remember," he says, the closest thing to the truth he could say. "I've been traveling for as long as I can remember."

"That's no way to live," the shopkeeper says, softening in response. "My wife, Ivee, was an orphan too."

Yusei is taken aback by this statement. "How did you know that?"

"If you've been traveling alone this long without any memory of where you're from, you must not have family to go back to where you came from for," the shopkeeper replies, and he packs up two meals for Yusei. "Take these on the house. I hope you find a home, traveler."

Yusei nods, taking the food with a polite smile. He hadn't considered the ways that it would be obvious to those with roots that he is a man uprooted. The simple fact that he is alone and traveling with no memory is enough for people to read it on his face. If he ever did have a family, they were long dead in the ground. Yusei couldn't even recall his father's face, nevermind Princess Aki's. As he exits the shop, rain was pouring down again - second day in a row. He lifts his hood up, whistling for Epona. She comes running and he mounts her as she moves. The map was abandoned due to the rain, figuring he could always come back to Hateno later for the map.

His mind begun to wander as he spurs Epona on, wondering what his life would look like in a world where the Calamity had never happened. Surely if it had never happened, he would've been buried in a grave in Castle Town. Or maybe he is cursed in some way - he couldn't confirm if that was the case. Maybe he is always doomed to this end point. He wasn't sure where the blame was placed for the reality he found himself wandering. Maybe it is no one's fault that he was now a ghost haunting Hyrule - no one's except for the Calamity.

The devastation stretched out further than he could have ever imagined. Fort Hateno was up ahead, and he knows the horror would sink deep into his bones the second time just as much as it had the first time. The Guardians are everywhere - a reminder of what had happened. He'd already heard stories of people coming across them and only just escaping with their lives. The old woman's claim of having been born during the Age of Burning haunted him too - the world had gone on even as the Guardians attempted to destroy it. Even now, he marches ever closer to being able to face the source of all this devastation.

He is so deep in the thoughts of the past and what it means for his future that he nearly misses the woman waving him down. It was his nature to come to a stop to help, but he could help but feel something was off this time. He dismounts from Epona, frowning as he approached the woman. "Hello, miss," he says quietly. "Did you need something?"

"It's not what I need," she says, a wicked glint in her eyes that left Yusei twitching for his sword. However, she had shown no reason for him to assume the worst, so he holds still. He tenses, however, ready to strike. What has his hairs standing up? Something isn't right. Is she in danger? "It's what you need. Why don't you join the Yiga Clan?"

The name is familiar in his bones, and his grip on his sword tightens. His frown deepens, and instincts has him coiling to strike. "What's the Yiga Clan?"

Her grin grows, and her features twist into a malicious look - as if she was a fox about to eat a rabbit. "Oh, you've never heard of the Yiga Clan? They're a group of powerful, brave warriors..." She takes a break, her eyes narrowing. "Dedicated to defeating a hero long thought dead."

It sinks in that he'd been had, and before he could draw his sword, she draws hers first and slashed down, hard. He gasps, yanking his sword out and holding his arm over the wound with a glare. He launches himself into the fight, uncoiling all the tension that had been building in him. He loathed to attack a person, but since it was kill or be killed, he gave it all he had. Before he could go in for the kill, the Yiga clansman vanished, leaving behind a pile of rupees and mighty bananas for the collecting. Admittedly not a bad haul for victory he thinks as he collects his reward - about a hundred rupees he counted.

He mounts Epona again, spurring her on. He can deal with his wounds later.

[faye-writes-stories]

I wrote a short story for English today, and it turned out shockingly well! We were supposed to write something from the prompt of 'Bravery', so the character does something brave (even just making a speech, doesnt have to be a fight)

I turned mine into a short horror story orientated around a mortal girl and the fair folk. I quite like how it turned out!

The story under the cut (it's unedited, just a first draft written in about an hour.)

I ran through the forest, I had to get away. I had to get to my baby brother before it did. I knew it was hopeless. I knew it was way faster than any speed my puny human legs could take me, but, well.... I'll never know if I don't try, right? But I'd read enough 'scary' stories to know that something like this would probably take little Luke and leave a monster in its place. I don't know why it preyed on our family specifically, but it did. It always did. This wasn't the first. They took Suzy a few years ago. And last year they took my cousin, Amalie.

I suppose one of our ancestors must have done something to anger the fair folk. I wish I could do something to save our innocent souls, but it was common knowledge that the fae were soulless. But... perhaps I could offer myself up in my families stead, if only I made it to my dear Luke first...

There! In the distance! I can see the light from our window! If I can just...

Yes! I made it! I immediately dart to the cradle, my knees going weak with relief as I see my baby brother here. I don't know why the faeries let me get here first. Perhaps they thought it'd be amusing to watch me sob as my brother was taken...

No time to wallow now. I can see the barely human figure just outside the window - dragonfly wings and insect eyes, 4 arms that end with claws, fangs and needle teeth. It was horrifying, albeit ethereally beautiful, as all of its kind were - I dont know exactly what kind it was, but the sight was enough to make my heart sink. I knew I didnt have a chance at fighting. The only thing left was to give myself up. Make a bargain with the dreaded Fae.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself as it entered. I drew myself up to my full height and looked it in its eyes.

"Hello. I wish to make a deal." My voice sounded far more confident than it felt.

The creature barely showed surprise, though, and when it spoke, the sound was smooth, melodic, entrancing. Fitting for a faerie. My guess is that it must have come from the Summer Court. "A deal? How interesting. What kind were you to propose to us, mortal?"

I took another breath, shutting my eyes, then opening. "You leave my family alone. No longer take the children. And in return, I'll go with you. To fairyland, or whatever-"  At this point, it interupts. "We dont have 'fairyland'. We reside within the faewilds." I bite back a rude retort, knowing it wouldn't help. "Fine. You take me to the faewilds, and leave my family alone forever." It appeared to be waiting for more, and when I didnt say anything else, an odd smile played across its face.

"You think we would take you? We don't need something like you. You would have no use to us! You're not even that amusing! Insolent mortal!" It started laughing, the sound terrifying. I no longer thought of it as any kind of beautiful. It was simply horrible. And then, it reached out a clawed hand to me, and against my will, my own arm extended and took the hand.

It yanked me close, grinning manically as it then threw me against the wall with inhuman strength. I saw my parents rush to the doorway, wide eyed as I tried to bite back a scream of agony, but failing. It once more approached me, still grinning as it shoved its claws into me.

The last thing I saw before it all went black, was the thing eating something slimy and red. My heart.

[astrababyy]

I have been sort of sitting on this subject because it would be so easy for it to get taken out of context. I hope I can explain myself so that doesn’t happen and I’d like to hear your thoughts. Basically I feel like part of what made Feyre’s character special is what makes her beautiful and I think it gets lost between all the sister anti bs arguments. I do think everyone is allowed to imagine all the characters however they want but I feel like if you go by canon what makes Feyre different that her sisters beauty is her personality. I find it a bit bothersome when I see takes like -certain archeron sister is the prettiest- because canon, physically, Elain is beautiful and Nesta is stunning but what sets Feyre apart is that those that fell into an attraction for her was only after having gotten to know her. I notice Nesta and Elain have this attraction from males almost at first sight and so I think the part that Feyre doesn’t get this sort of story line was what made her unique and I really liked that. In my opinion I think all 3 sisters are attractive in their respective ways- Elain an innocent pure sort of beauty, Nesta has sexy and angry, while Feyre has a mature and quiet beauty. The last part is my opinion, everyone can imagine them how ever but I do think canon sort of gave me the impression about what stands out about Feyre and I feel like it gets lost in the whole mess that is pitting the sisters against each other that is this fandom

hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to this.

this was a very sweet ask! i can see what you mean about feyre being unique in her own ways. personally, i have a preference for the person feyre was in the first book, but i can totally understand you, and many others, enjoying the character she became post-acotar. i love who nesta is as a character because i feel i relate to her more than the others, but feyre's willingness and bravery to stand up for what she believed in, in book 1 was something i admired about her character. and elain's gentle demeanor and clear progression as a character by the time we reach book 2 is something i hope is expanded on more.

i would love if you'd elaborate a bit more on your point of view, as well as if this ask if targeted at a specific post of mine (?) because i'm not exactly an account that's very pro feyre (though i don't hold anything against people who do like her). do you think that i'm a part of the group that fans the flames of the competition between the sisters? in fairness, i can see how my posts could be interpreted that way.

anyway, on some level, i do agree that this fandom has a tendency to vilify and pit the sisters against each other for the sake of their faves. i have seen some absolutely horrid takes on all sides of the aisle, justifying things their fav sister has done and putting down the other sisters in favor of blatantly flat characterizations of them in order to make their anger seem more justified.

but i also think this is a symptom of canon itself being willing to pit them against each other, rather than portraying their flaws and complex relationships in a manner that gives a clear impression that none of them are all good or all bad, but rather flawed and interesting individuals. instead of creating a poignant story on the power of sisterhood, sjm decided it would be better to pit them against each other. this isn't necessarily a bad thing. of all the people in the world, i am the last one that is opposed to drama in books lol, but the way it was done has made things... complicated.

all in all, i think the process of pitting the sisters against each other is a very mixed bag because, on one hand, the archeron sisters' being in constant competition with each other in the fandom is partially due to fans of the specific sisters, but it's also due to the inability of canon to portray a complicated dynamic between them. also, their characterizations can be all over the place. i don't think the feyre we saw in book 1 would've allowed what happened to nesta in book 3, nor would she have condoned the treatment of her sisters even as early as book 2. this could be credited to her evolution as a character, perhaps growing in confidence and vilifying her sisters because of it, but i don't see the sister who felt guilty about leaving them behind when she was forcefully taken from her home as the same sister that let the blatant disrespect of them stretch on from book 2 through book 5. this isn't just with feyre though, as i think the characterization of nesta and elain is also quite finicky and so up to interpretation by the fans.

[thecolorsofpain]

I never thought of myself as the type of person, woman, that felt undeserving of the better things.

What I meant is that I never did anything horrendous to others to want to punish myself subconciously into thinking I am UNDESERVING of a better life, a better boyfriend, better house, better job or better circumstances.

I always knew my worth, I always knew the things I deserved, without the arrogant part of me wanting them.

I have never felt a side of me feel Mighty and more powerful than others. I never felt better than others in the sense that OTHERS could ne inferior than me.

Nevertheless, I do, feel better than others sometimes.

When I know I never could rip people apart to get what I want, physically hurt other beings or wish ill upon others.

I know that I am different from many people. I am different in the way that other people are different when it comes to being good and choosing to remain so.

I am different in the way that I don´t have evil in my heart as a beast I need to feed to feel alive.

Sometimes, rarely at times.... I feel like I must feed a small beast... only happens when people are cruel to me and others.

I think that is justified. I think it is heroic.

I always wanted to be a heroe more than a lover

Standing up for others has always felt like a passion. I like doind things with passion. Being heroic is a way of living through emotion.

The emotion of compassion, of empathy, of bravery, true humbleness. Taking a leap of faith for others when they need you and asking of nothing in return. Taking a leap of faith for yourself knowing your true value with no remorse or guilt.

It takes a fair amount of bravery to stand up for your value and showing your true worth to the world. Because it means letting go of the shame you feel when you differ from others`opinion on the value they think YOU have. It means believing in yourself before anyone else and making your own belief irrefutable. Impossible to negotiate.

It takes courage to fight the guilt and beat it to death. A guilt that can weight 19, 50, 100 or more people depending on how many beings you know and are important to you and your view of yourself. How selfish it may be to them that you comfortably, casually and freely chase your dreams and hopes. How it hurts them to see you fly like a bird, they dont mean to cage you, they just want to fly like you but its so hard for them to become the bird, so they make you feel guilty for flying wherever you want. They dont mean to, its human emotion to covet.

So when you feel and act your freedom, you begin to live.

I cant help to wonder what my life would look like on the inside if I didnt have emotional chains on my ankles.

Emotional paradigms within me.

I know I can do better.

My entire existance, my face, my body is glorious. I have a magnifique presence. A wonderful heart, full of hope, faith, thrill, mystery, joy, melancholy, extreme empathy and love. A limitless brain, insatiable for knowledge and anxious for experience. How could a women with intention be so struck in demise?

Sometimes I dwell on this thought too long during an entire day adn I can never find an answer. Because it feels as if it is deeper than I could comprehend.

I think about how complex my feeelings really are. The revolution inside of me that is constantly active. Trying to change me, trying to transform me and it does. And I am a slave of this revolution. I wish to heal myself to be better for myself , for what`s coming, for others, for the world and for a transcendental purpose that is still cooking.

I dont wish to be dragged in the mundane, in the banal, superficial, materialistic, capitalist concept of a human life. I hate it. but it seems as if everyone must, forecefully become that. It used to be a constant pressure to become that myself but now that I wish not to be a part of that misery and insanity, I much rather WAIT.

Wait for a sould that wants the same as me. Serenity. Freedom. Love. Spirituality.

I want to be my own and I dont want anything or anyone to own me.

But I always act out of emotion and love and pleasure, passion.

I think about my current partner and think, Am I making the right decision in staying with him?

Is his bloodline really good for me? do I really want to lace my ancestry with his? is it any good.

A family so broken like his and yet so close and intimate. It looks like a broken and burnt ceramic vase. glued together alll over the place, missing fragments and burnt on the edges while it is expected to hold water in it.

My family is a broken ceramic vase as well. But it has been broken and accepted it is broken. Not rebuilt and expected to be useful.

I think we are both birds of the same feather. I cant pick which is more harmful.

I know my family accepts him and welcomes him and makes him feel good at home despite the troubles they might have caused me in the past.

but his family doesnt welcome me at home with warm supper and warm hearts. They all are so broken they cant welcome another member of a family. I am hated by the father and my value is constantly deconstructed by him. He teaches his kids that a woman like me is unworthy of love and marriage and living. He has such a cruel view of woman and people. So broken and torn and dark and poisoned and rotten inside.

[steveskafte]

METAPHORICAL HEART I used to think that you don't need to be strong, but I was wrong. I don't mean mistaken about the common perception of strength – no, I think I had that right. I'll never rate highly the typical toughness that some men seem to value so much. Physical capacity and visible musculature are two very different things. Never saw the point in looking twice my size, or being able to lift twice the weight that my daily life requires. But I can pound out the miles on any hard hike, haul my body over boulders and under precarious trunks and trees. All of my strength is purposeful only. I've gone great lengths to stay suited for the punishing life I live daily. When I talk about real strength, I don't mean any of that. It's more about weakness. I've lived my adult life in a state of great exposure – and not just the photography kind. I never knew when I was younger just how much effort it would take to keep a constantly open heart. That's the natural soul of youth, you see it from the start. From toddler to teenager, emotions boil out with no boundaries. But you've got to get real tough if you want to make that last. Not calloused, not closed off, because that's counter-intuitive to the intention. You've got to build up the bravery it takes to give up holding back. People often say when we meet in person that I'm "younger than they thought". I'm thirty-six, but I could pass for a decade less. A lot of that lies in being open. I need to talk, listen, love, share, smile, and I've got no aversion to doing that around strangers. Many folks I grew up with have gotten infinitely more restrained with age. Their reasons are as many as there are kinds of people. Disappointment, exhaustion, bitterness. Tests of their strength that failed. I've faced a fair share myself, being away from loved ones, and struggling in my career. But the muscle I'm always flexing is my metaphorical heart, that valentine one drawn with a kid's crayon. It's what I mean when I say that you need to be strong. May 15, 2024 Lansdowne, Nova Scotia Year 17, Day 6030 of my daily journal.

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4587-4593

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GT: Aloha madame.

GG: Jake!

GG: Hey there. I was actually about to message you.

GT: Yes i have heard that maybe your correspondence was forthcoming.

GG: You did?

GT: I just got off the horn with roxy.

GG: Wait...

GG: What did she tell you?

GT: Well. Not anything all that specific.

GG: Did she goad you into writing this message?

GT: Oh you know how it is. What with her ways.

GG: What ways?

GT: You know... ways!

GT: I believe they are not incongruous with those of a feisty and provocative young woman.

GG: Provocative my behind!

GG: She is skirting dangerously close to meddlesome territory.

GT: No its really not like that!

GT: Hold on...

GT: God dammit.

GG: ??

GT: Its just dirks inscrutable wrestlebot acting up over there.

GT: What the fuck is it doing now?

GG: Has one of his gadgets been causing trouble for you over there as well?

GT: If by causing trouble you mean clobbering the everfriggin tar out of me while still switched to the "novice" setting then yes.

GT: But that is not why i messaged you!!! I will not be deterred here jane.

GG: Deterred from what?

GT: Jane i think its time we had an honest to goodness dame to fella talk. Like about our...

GT: Stuff. You know?

GG: Our stuff?

GT: Our feelings.

GT: Like how we feel about each other.

GG: Um...

GG: Yes.

GG: Okay.

GT: I dont think im out of line in suggesting weve been tiptoeing around some things here do you?

GG: Have we?

GT: I think so. Its just a hunch.

GG: Is there something you want to say to me, Jake?

GG: About how you feel?

GT: Absolutely!

GT: I feel that total honesty between us will be the best policy as we begin our journey together.

GT: So i say lets put all the facts on the table where we can both see them.

GT: With that in mind i would like to ask you a question jane and i hope it doesnt strike you as being too forward.

GG: ...

GG: Go on.

GT: Maybe its just my imagination but ive picked up on certain lets say hints.

GT: So i have to just come out and ask. Hoo boy this is actually proving to be a serious challenge to my bravery now that im going through with it.

GT: Im getting a little hot under the collar here!

GG: No, it's ok...

GG: Please continue!

GT: Ok then.

GT: What id like to know is...

GT: Do you like me jane?

GG: Uh.

GG: Wait...

GG: What?

GT: I mean do you like me as more than a friend?

GT: Do you envision us as like...

GT: An item? A romantic pairing of sorts?

GG: Wow, um.

GT: Is that the direction in which you would prefer our relationship to progress?

GG: Well,

GG: I

GT: Please! Be honest with me jane.

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me?

GG: No!

GT: I see.

GT: Very well then.

GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now.

GT: Are you sure the answers no?

GG: I guess...

GG: That...

GG: Sure was the thing I said! Ha ha.

GT: Yes fair enough.

GT: I guess i did put you on the spot there didnt i.

GT: You know it may sound cocky of me but i really was not prepared for this answer!

GT: You must think im just this epic friggin tool now. Couldnt say id disagree if you did.

GG: No!!!!!!

GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here?

GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way!

GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here.

GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that.

GT: But now that i think about it you know what?

GG: ...

GG: No? :(

GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief!

GG: It is?

GT: I consider you to be a lovely lady of the highest caliber and i really think any gent worth his salt would be a huge bozo to let the chance to go steady with you slip through his fingers.

GT: Ive even given the possibility some thought myself.

GG: You have?

GT: Sure im only human jane im going to entertain lets say certain ideas. What ifs. You know?

GT: Like what if we did meet up some day? And you asked me out or something. Im sure id say yes given all weve been through together and then well who knows?

GG: You would??

GT: Probably but im kind of babbling here. The point is those are all just silly daydreams about stuff and about your feelings for me that i was projecting on you which werent even real.

GT: And now that weve been honest with each other about this we can kind of move on and just be great friends.

GG: Friends!

GG: Oh boy!!

GT: And its a load off to be honest because that was lot to think about on top of everything else!

GG: Everything else?

GT: Things are kind of complicated for me jane. With you and roxy and dirk and his crazy responder and now...

GT: Well its a tangled web lets just put it that way.

GG: I don't think I'm following.

GT: There are a fuckload of irons in the fire jane!

GT: So many irons in the fire. Such a tangled web. It is a web full of flaming irons.

GG: And mixed metaphors, apparently?

GT: Exactly. See? You get it.

GG: I really don't, Jake.

GT: Oh son of a bitch!

GG: What?!

GT: The robot is being weird again.

GG: What's happening?

GT: Its having some sort of mental episode.

GT: See this is what im talking about jane. This is what im dealing with here.

GT: Sigh. Like i said my life is many different hells of complicated.

GG: Jake, could you just tell me what you're talking about?

GT: Youre right. I did say honesty was the best policy didnt i so i might as well not keep certain things so close to the vest anymore.

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier!

GG: Haha, yes!

GG: Friends!!!!

GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately?

GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!!

GT: Jane are you alright?

GT: You seem to be exclaiming more liberally than usual.

GG: Me?

GG: HOO HOO HOO!

GG: I'm just

GG: Terrific!

GG: I'm feeling so...

GG: Friendly!!!

GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems.

GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah?

GG: Shit I mean

GG: Ahahahah!

GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart.

GT: So as i was saying.

GT: I cant help but feel like all this stuff going on with dirk like his responders mind games and his brobots mysterious and brutal hazings...

GT: Are all like...

GT: Man i know this is going to sound crazy.

GG: What?

GT: Like theyre all part of a really long term and esoteric courtship process that is bizarre but somehow makes perfect sense in his mind.

GG: Courtship??

GT: Yes from dirk.

GT: To you know...

GT: Woo me.

GG: Huh!

GG: Really?

GT: I know its hard to believe but i know dirk pretty well and...

GT: Well im more than a little sure he likes me in that way if you catch my drift.

GT: And what with how he is...

GT: Just so relentless and aggressive about everything you know?

GG: Yeaaah.

GT: So i just start to wonder deep down if maybe its inevitable.

GG: What's inevitable?

GT: Him and me. As more than just best buddies.

GG: Uhhhhh...

GT: I know if he has his heart set on something he will never let up.

GT: So maybe its just going to happen and things will be easier that way and i should just try to come to terms with it?

GG: I don't think you have to do anything you don't want to, Jake.

GT: Yeah.

GT: Um.

GG: Wait.

GG: DO you not want to?

GT: Like i said jane i am inclined to entertain certain ideas and what ifs thats all.

GT: I mean we do get along really well and share a lot of interests.

GT: Im not saying im really GUNG HO TO THE MAX about the proposition but yeah ive given it some thought.

GT: I dunno.

GT: Do you think thats weird of me? For even considering it?

GG: Well...

GG: No.

GG: I don't think that makes you weird, Jake.

GT: Really?

GG: I think

GG: That

GT: What jane?

GG: I think that it's great if you are open to exploring those feelings.

GT: Thats really swell of you to say that.

GT: Have i mentioned what a top notch friend you are jane?

GG: Yes.

GG: As a matter of fact you have.

GT: Now please dont take me as saying im about to go leaping into his arms or anything.

GG: Heh.

GT: That would be a bit brash.

GT: Haha could you imagine??

GG: Whee!

GT: But my thought process sort of went like this.

GT: Hes been my best friend forever and ive always liked him a lot as a bro.

GT: And years ago i used to joke around with him that we would probably be totally into each other if he was a girl.

GT: But of course that was before i started to realize he was probably serious about those feelings for me regardless.

GT: Heheh come to think of it maybe that was unwittingly poor form on my part kind of leading him on or something?

GG: Whoops!!

GT: But then...

GT: Later i started thinking.

GT: Maybe i was being kind of unfair to him in the first place?

GT: I mean by saying we would be a good match only if he was a girl.

GT: Like is that last condition there really all THAT important?

GT: Does that make sense?

GG: Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GT: You are incredibly understanding jane. Thank you so much for listening.

GT: I have never told anyone all that. Its so great to have a friend as good as you.

GG: That is what I am good for, it seems!

GT: If we hadnt cleared the air just now i probably never would have had the gumption to talk about it with you.

GT: Its so cool how you were honest with me about how you felt. I think honesty is always the best policy. I cant believe how much i was overcomplicating all this in my head.

GT: Haha the situation is really pretty funny when you think about it.

GG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GG: Yeaaaaaaaah..........

GG: Say, Jake?

GG: Not to cast doubt on your feelings, but are you quite sure all of Dirk's actions have been for the sake of courtship?

GT: Um...

GG: You did say his robot was prone to assailing you, did you not?

GG: Is that really an affectionate gesture?

GT: Well...

GT: He basically sent me that thing as kind of a sparring partner.

GT: Like to wrestle with.

GT: And i love to wrestle!

GG: Oh.

GT: And yeah i guess he programmed it to be a bit overzealous but i mean what do you expect from the guy.

GT: I think its his way of training me to become tougher.

GT: Which sometimes is annoying and sometimes when i walk through the jungle im sweating bullets wondering if its going to pounce on me outta nowhere.

GT: But theres actually something kind of exciting about that its like every day is more of an adventure.

GT: And truthfully its probably working i probably AM getting better at being in scrums.

GG: Yeah.

GG: I guess you're right.

GT: And his responder which i guess is really a part of his personality even if he doesnt like to say so...

GT: It kind of lets on a lot more than dirk ever would. Its almost like its this weird clone of himself playing passive aggressive matchmaker between me and his real self.

GG: Yeah.

GG: I can see how such a complicated relationship could keep you preoccupied.

GG: I guess I can't blame you.

GG: Maybe you should just...

GG: I don't know.

GT: What?

GG: Maybe you should just go for it.

GG: Hell, why not.

GG: Just tell him you know how he feels and that you're open to the idea?

GT: You really think so?

GG: ...

GG: Yeah sure why the hell not.

GT: Well i was kinda going to let it play out and just see what happens and go from there...

GT: But you think a more proactive approach would be better?

GG: Well,

GG: He likes you.

GG: You seem to like him well enough.

GG: Just...

GG: Yes.

GG: Why not??

GG: Sounds good to me!!!

GT: Wow.

GT: I must say this sort of advice surprises me coming from you!

GG: And why would that be?!

GG: What, are you expecting me to advocate a more conservative approach?

GG: To tell you to keep being shy and cagey and keep beating around the bush indefinitely??

GG: What would ever give you that idea about me!

GT: Hmm.

GT: Yes i guess that is a certainly a strategy to consider.

GT: Jane i must say your perspective on this is refreshingly bold.

GG: I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND THAT AS REFRESHING BOLDNESS GOES I AM SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS.

GT: Hehehe! Sure looks that way!

GG: Screw it!

GG: Ask him out.

GG: Just kill the suspense already.

GG: Become boyfriends and such.

GG: Have some babies!!!

GT: Whoa now!

GT: Jane the decision to sire children with your best bro is not one to be taken lightly.

GG: Okay I think I have to go.

GG: I have this stupid game to play.

gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

[tenacquity]

Truthfully, there are about a million things Ryunosuke’s attempting to puzzle out right now. Whether or not he believes the young man is at the farthest end of this dark tunnel he feels he’s stumbling through blind, and additionally… Well, he’s not quite sure he likes the look in the stranger’s eyes.

“Stranger” is a bit of an odd term after all he’s told me. Are we acquaintances now?

In several instances, he’s almost raised his hand in a silent plea to interject. If even nothing more than to beg the man to slow down so he has a better chance of grasping the details. Sure, Ryunosuke knows personally how panicked one feels to be in a position like this, but the way Goffard rambles on, he can’t help but wonder if he simply enjoys the sound of his own voice. Maybe it’s both. Though the typical panic is somewhat different here…

He seems more agitated by the accusations than truly fearful of the consequences. (Can money buy everything including dumb bravery?)

Ryunosuke attempts to catch up by the time there’s an eventual spot of silence, but all too impatiently has his potential client made a show of leaving before he’s gotten a word in edgewise. Impulsively, the (admittedly inexperienced) lawyer gets to his feet, digs up enough of a voice to squeak, “Hold on just a moment!” Someone smarter might have just let this go, surely? Found their work elsewhere, but despite all the troubling feelings, Ryunosuke also just so happened to notice—

He must be used to this. Goffard, that is. He must be used to people not believing him. That defensiveness without Ryunosuke having to even breathe a syllable…

So, what if he offered him even a chance?

“I— Sorry. I suppose I’m still trying to wrap my head around a few details.” And wipe clean the details I wish I could forget. “But my answer isn’t ‘no.’ I’d just rather not commit to a ‘yes’ until I’m confident I’m the right lawyer for you.” He bites his tongue before letting slip the sentiment, —or anyone, for that matter. 

And then, under the hope that the man won’t yet step out the door, Ryunosuke sinks back into his seat, lips pursed in thought. The Chief Justice had been particularly adamant that he take this case… though even now, he’s entirely unsure why. Because Goffard’s a foreigner like him? His hands shuffle through a messy stack of papers on his desk (What even are these?), and he peers up at the man again.

“I want to be fair and straightforward with you, Mr. Goffard: I’m still familiarizing myself with the laws here, and I’ve no doubt you could find someone far more experienced,” he admits after a steadying breath. “But you’ve shown your willingness to trust me, nevertheless. And I might like to return the favor.”

@tenacquity.'s not in it for the money.

"What's the problem? Don't you believe me...?"

That look on his face seriously pisses him off.

Derek's said so before, and he'll say it again: he's innocent.

So maybe he got a bit carried away a few nights prior... Enjoyed himself a little too much, and now, he's somehow gotten roped into another lawsuit involving property damage, among other things. That doesn't mean he actually did anything wrong! ... Not this time. Even if he IS guilty; well, he's got the funds to shut just about anyone up.

Nothing to lose sleep over.

All the boring, legal matters nonetheless have to be taken care of, which is why he's seeking this man's help in the first place. He should consider himself lucky that a Goffard's chosen him; clearly well - off, ready to flash his cash and wipe his hands clean of the mess he's created. And yet, he has the audacity to stare back with the stupidest look on his face after he's gone through all the trouble of explaining his case.

— In full detail, no less.

Always one to act defensively, he doesn't bother to take into consideration that maybe the poor guy's lost for words. Instead, he rolls his eyes, a click of his tongue following.

"Fine, whatever. I'll find someone else to take my case... You lawyers are a dime a dozen anyways." Though his lips are firmly pressed in a pout, arms folded against his chest, his overall body language akin to that of a stubborn child who thinks acting insufferably uncooperative will get him exactly what he wants (and it usually does!) — the prolonged sideways glance he first spares Ryunosuke before turning towards the door suggests he's not at all opposed to still giving him a chance. And since Derek's such a nice guy, he even lingers there a few moments longer than need be... quietly waiting to see what it is the little lawyer decides to say.

The ball's in his court now.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

toxic!eren showing up to your job a couple of times after your break up. making your life hell.

that’s all i had to say :)

tw: darkcon, possessive behavior, stalking, emotional abuse, eren is an asshole, obsessive behavior, yan tendencies, not proofread.

title: distractions

pairing: toxic!eren x fem!reader

you don't know why you thought it would be so easy to escape those frigid eyes. you wonder what possessed you to be so careless.

you've been trying your best to be independent. balancing work-study, college, the job at the cafe, and vying for a leadership position of a semi-prestigious club.

[and if this was a month ago, you could have added a relationship to your list]

but the thing with your ex-boyfriend is that being with him, being around him-he consumed all of your life. classes, fostering a good relationship with your professors, internships, grades, work shifts--all that didn't matter. he lulled you in with sweet promises, and you have no doubt they were genuine too. he could take care of you, both of you knew that.

but were you grateful?

you looked up at him with those doe eyes, having the audacity to look so heartbroken like you weren't the one who was cutting ties. the one who said

"i'm sorry eren. i'm not myself when i'm with you. i lose sight of my goals and ambitions."

you didn't say it, but the word was on the tip of your tongue. he knew it. eren saw forever in you. and all you saw him in was a distraction.

and if that's how you saw him. that's perfectly fine. he'll play that role you forced him into.

your boss didn't care. she, herself, was too enamored by the dark-haired menace. eren played her like a fiddle, using that dangerous charm that he's acquired in his late teenage years.

she accused you of overreacting.

"he doesn't even do anything! he's a good regular, he gets his order and sits quietly! what possible reason do i have for kicking him out?"

you cleared your throat, trying to give an air of confidence but the shakiness of your voice betrayed you, "he makes me feel..unsafe."

she laughed in your face.

it's been a sluggish day, and you've wiped the counter multiple times, head racing with thoughts. maybe you should quit. sure it paid a few dollars more than the average minimum wage job, and the tips were quite nice, and it was in an incredibly convenient location...fuck, why were you thinking of quitting again?

oh right. your eyes look over to the man seated in a corner, dressed in a red hoodie, slowly sipping a steaming cup of black coffee.

to be fair...he hasn't really done anything. he's just there.

but you know you're not paranoid. you saw the flash of anger on his face when he spotted you laughing at your [male] coworker's jokes. and that same coworker...quit the next few days after for an inexplicable reason. maybe that was just a coincidence?

and when you tried to reach out to him, he was all blunt and withdrawn? annoyed, maybe? there was an emotion in his manner you couldn't discern. and then he just stopped returning your texts.

okay fine, all of that is circumstantial. but you couldn't shake the feeling off, the feeling of prey stuck in a trap that a predator set up,

it's a sluggish day. he's the only one in the cafe. you're the only one working. the manager is in her office.

it's been the sixth time he's here this week.

with whatever little bravery you have, you try to manage a composed strut to his table (please-he can see you shaking)

you're clutching the notepad dearly, at the center of your heart, and the corners of his mouth pull upwards.

"eren..y-you s-should l-l-lea-"

"are you finally here to take my order?"

you flinch at the casual boredom in his voice. no, it's okay. try again.

"i-i'm here to t-tell y-you that-"

"2 slices of the mango crepe cake." He interrupts eyes regarding you cooly.

you wish you could melt into the square black-and-white tiled floor.

he raises an eyebrow, "why are you still standing here? do I need to complain about you to your manager again-?"

"n-no sir" you yelped. more out of force of habit than a genuine apology. you bowed slightly, mortification coloring your cheeks.

"well get to it then."

he likes the change of pace, he decides. likes it when you call him sir. when you guys get back together, he thinks, he should make you say that way more often.

you come back shakily balancing two pretty slices of cake. he asks you to sit. you protest.

sit.

you slide into the booth, afraid to meet the endless green of his eyes. you focus on the drawstrings of his dark hoodie, unable to see the smirk crawling on his stupid handsome face when he asks you how you've been.

you take in a deep breath.

in all honesty, you could be doing better.

"I'm fine" you nearly spit out.

he hums, unnaturally calm which puts you on edge.

the truth is you're behind on all of your classwork, didn't get voted into the coveted executive board position, late on bills, and your professor has been weirdly dodgy lately.

you wonder if eren knew all this already, and he just came to torment you. you stare at the whipped cream melting on your cake.

"how long are we going to go around in circles?" he asked calmly.

you had no answer, no clever retort on the tip of your tongue.

"because I'm starting to think you're in denial about how much you need me. you broke up with me so you could convince yourself you'd be fine by yourself--and how's that holding up for you by the way?"

you could feel tears starting to form.

"you treated me as a distraction when I was really your whole life. I made everything better.

didn't I?

[photogirl894]

Bad Batch Headcanons:

Hogwarts Houses

My bestie, @darthzero22 , brought up the question in a conversation we were having:

What Hogwarts Houses would each Bad Batch member belong to?

These were what we agreed on:

Gryffindor: Hunter and Echo

Traits of this House:

Courage

Bravery

Determination

Daring

Chivalry

Leadership

100%, these two are Gryffindors 💜 They both are incredibly brave in the face of immense danger and they're both natural-born leaders. Hunter is the leader of the Clone Force 99 and Echo has leadership skills from his days as an ARC Trooper and showcased his skills as a leader during their rescue mission for Hunter on Kamino. They both care for their squad and do whatever it takes to keep them safe. They don't care what they have to do as long as their family is protected. They look out for them as well as other people around them. Both of them are respectful to those who they feel are worthy of it, such as Captain Rex, Cham Syndulla and even Su Lawquane when Echo addresses her as "ma'am" upon first meeting her. There was no question which house these two brave Clones belonged to!

Slytherin: Crosshair

Traits of this House:

Ambitious

Resourcefulness

Determination

Pride

Cunning

Self-preservation

Now, hear me out on this one! I do not give Slytherin to Crosshair because he's an antagonist and Slytherin is often the villainous House in Harry Potter. Slytherin is my Hogwarts House myself. Crosshair fits many of the traits of this House. He is definitely ambitious and has a vision of what serving the Empire will do for him in terms of him continuing to be an elite soldier. He is resourceful and cunning in his sniper skills and later on when he goes after his brothers and gets them all to Kamino. Pride is also a definite trait of his and it's what had him fighting constantly with regs and what's led him down a wrong path with the Empire. He fits Slytherin both in more good ways than bad, for sure 😊

Ravenclaw: Tech

Traits of this House:

Intelligence

Wit

Learning

Wisdom

Acceptance

Creativity

Yeah, who didn't see this one coming? 😜 Tech literally says he has an "exceptional mind", which shows he's highly intelligent. He is 100% a Ravenclaw. Not only is he wise and intelligent, he is definitely witty to a tee. ("That's not her ugly side?") He is creative in his inventions and his additions to the Bad Batch's plans, such as creating a brain scanner for the chips, scrambling the signature key of the Marauder to elude the Empire and coming up with the light contraption to keep the irlings at bay during their spice heist. Tech being a Ravenclaw...well, I thought it was obvious 😏

Hufflepuff: Wrecker and Omega

Traits of this House:

Loyalty

Hard-working

Patience

Fairness

Just

Modesty

These two are the most loyal of the Bad Batchers, not only to each other, but to the rest of the squad, too. Not to discount the loyalty of the others at all. They both work hard at bettering themselves for the benefit of their squad and modest about their efforts. Patience might not always be their strong suit at times, but they have their moments where they're better at it, such as Wrecker waiting for the call for pickup on Daro and Omega with her strategy games. Omega's stronger trait is fairness; she wants to be included and also do for others what she would do for her own family, such as helping Hera free her parents. Wrecker is just in how he and his brothers are treated and he thinks highly of them, claiming "they're not dummy Droids". I know Hufflepuff isn't the most popular House, but these two would make it all the better!

Thank you for coming to our TED Talk 🥰🥰

[stardustprompts]

the poppy war - r.f kuang   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   drugs , death , murder , nsfw , prostitution mention , language

‘take off your clothes.’

‘why would anyone drug themselves before a test?’

‘you’re about to be a very lucky girl, sweet.’

‘wow that’s great. really great. Terrific.’

‘your folks are assholes.’

‘well fuck the heavenly order of things.’

‘don’t you have actual responsibilities?’

‘I don’t want to get on _____ ‘s bad side.’

‘you would make a terrible prostitute. no charm.’

‘what is so wrong with getting married?’

‘do you want to die?’

‘everything is spilling out of my head as quickly as I put it in.’

‘please do not commit spousal homicide.’

‘give me a way out of this shithole.’

‘hello, I’m praying.’

‘I seduced him with my nubile young body. you caught me.’

‘you can’t scare me into a confession, because I’m telling the truth.’

‘and that means you’re shit at your job.’

‘if you cross them—- if they even think you’ve looked at them funny—- they can and will hurt you.’

‘it’s easy to lose a language when you never speak it.’

‘you’re offending them with your very presence.’

‘they’ll make you an outsider, because you’re not like them.’

‘no matter what they say, you deserve to be here.’

‘I’ll kill you. I will fucking kill you.’

‘I went out in the sun once. you should try it sometime.’

‘oh, you’re the one ____ hates.’

‘you’d be a prick too if your family was both rich and attractive.’

‘honestly? I think he just comes in here to get high.’

‘I think you’re flattering yourself.’

‘unless you’ve got a weapon, don’t aim for the face. the neck’s a better target.’

‘we aren’t here to be sophisticated. we’re here to fuck people up.’

‘this is the only kick you’ll ever need, really. a kick to bring down the most powerful warriors.’

‘power dictates acceptability.’

‘he hasn’t done anything to earn my respect. all he’s done is act high and mighty.’

‘you’re nothing. you shouldn’t even be here.’

‘consider me bullied and intimidated, just let me sleep.’

‘he’s playing with her. he’ll end it soon.’

‘they’re good at fighting, but not much else.’

‘spend a lot of time looking at ____’s eyes do you?’

‘a betrayal of that sort would not have been out of character.’

‘come on, you belong here too.’

‘they’re not going to get rid of me like this. not this easily.’

‘I’m calm! I’m extremely calm!’

‘you’d rather kill your own people than let the opponent’s army walk away?’

‘you don’t let an enemy walk away if they’ll certainly be a threat to you later.’

‘he can’t stop raving about you.’

‘oh, don’t pretend to be bashful. you love it.’

‘you’re a walking disaster.’

‘anyone this obstinate deserves some attention, if only to make sure you don’t become a walking hazard to everyone around you.’

‘I heard he got drunk on rice wine last week and pissed into ____’s window. he sounds awesome.’

‘it’s me, your favorite person in the whole wide world.’

‘I do not have a problem. you are making up this problem for reasons unbeknownst to me.’

‘you’re killing the mood.’

‘they were weak as shit. scrawnier than you, even.’

‘you’re a real asshole. you know that right?’

‘your state of mind is just as important as the state of your body.’

‘sometimes you must loose the string to let the arrow fly.’

‘because I want to break his stupid face.’

‘he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate.’

‘from this point on you’re just going to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.’

‘you’re too reckless. you hold grudges, you cultivate your rage and let it explode, and you’re careless about what you’re taught.’

‘I knew I was the only one that could help him.’

‘they honed his rage like a weapon, instead of teaching him to control it.’

‘one urinating statue for my easily entertained friend.’

‘I don’t believe in gods. but I believe in power.’

‘one might say you’ve been obsessed with ____.’

‘don’t look to your left. pretend you’re taking to me.’ / ‘I am talking to you.’

‘we’re studying very weird things.’

‘I don’t actually know what I’m getting into.’

‘here is what happened: you called a god, and the god answered.’

‘you know that if you don’t get answers now, the hunger will consume you and your mind will crack.’

‘you’ve glimpsed the other side and you can’t rest until you fill in the blanks.’

‘supernatural is a word for anything that doesn’t fit your present understanding of the world.’

‘I’m supposed to take it as true that you’re a god?’

‘I’m not a god. I am a mortal who has woken up, and there is power in awareness.’

‘are we getting high? oh, wow. we’re getting high.’

‘ah. the law. so inconvenient. so irrelevant.’

‘we are not madmen. but how can we convince anyone of this, when the rest of the world believes it so?’

‘the price of power is pain.’

‘I understand the truth of things. I know what it means to exist.’

‘prey do not question the motives of the predator. the dead do not question the living. mortals do not challenge the gods.’

‘I killed for you. I would have done anything for you.’

‘I have seen the end of things. the shape of the world has changed.’

‘war doesn’t determine who’s right. war determines who remains.’

‘it’s alright. I know what you are.’

‘I thought I was the only one left.’

‘we have developed the power to rewrite the fabric of this world. if we don’t use it, then what’s the point?’

‘I don’t mess with that shit. it screws you up.’

‘I understand the appeal, I really do, but I like having my mind to myself.’

‘he’s a charmer. like a new puppy. you think he’s adorable until he pisses on the furniture.’

‘there’s no routine. no discipline. nothing you’re used to. am I right?’

‘so you’re the last of your kind. that’s sad.’

‘If you hold the fate of the country in your hands, if you have accepted your obligation to your people, then your life ceases to be your own.’

‘____ feared, and so he held you back.’

‘great danger is always associated with great power. the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to take that risk.’

‘don’t ever let go on that anger. rage gives you power. caution does not.’

‘don’t give in... you’ve been so brave... but it takes more bravery to resist the power.’

‘the nature of this god is to destroy. the nature of this god is to be greedy, to never be satisfied with what he has consumed.’

‘so. screaming at rocks. is that, like, normal behavior here?’

‘fix this. prove your worth. do your fucking job or get out.’

‘I saved your life. doesn’t that make us at least a little square?!’

‘I was scared of you. and I lashed out.’

‘I thought I was better than you, and I’m not. I’m sorry.’

‘when I killed it, it felt like murder.’

‘look, I’m happy to discuss this, really, but I’m currently leaking life out three different wounds and I think I may pass out. would you give me a moment?’

‘well maybe ____ should get his head out of his ass.’

‘ ____ is more fragile than you think.’

‘look, asshole, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.’

‘they say he can read the future. shatter minds.’

‘you misunderstand the nature of our relationship. I am not your friend.’

‘he’s not human. he—- I don’t know what he is.’

‘but ___ was never allowed to be human.’

‘do you trust me?’ / ‘no. but that’s irrelevant.’

‘you don’t know what true suffering is.’

‘I have seen more than my fair share of suffering.’

‘that boy is beyond redemption. that boy is broken like the rest.’

‘I don’t want to be saved! I want power!’

‘that power will destroy everything you’ve ever loved. you will defeat your enemy, and the victory will turn to ashes in your mouth.’

‘we’ve missed something. something’s been laid out for us, but we can’t see it.’

‘fretting won’t make the dead come back to life.’

‘there was nothing human in those eyes.’

‘It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.’

‘I don’t need your pity. I need you to kill them for me.’

‘whatever it takes. swear it on your life. swear it for me.’

‘I won’t judge him. I don’t dare, because I don’t have the right. and neither do you.’

‘you asked me why I wouldn’t stop him. now you understand. you can’t stop an avenger. you can’t reason with a madman.’

‘I am afraid of what he might do in his quest for vengeance. and I am afraid that he is right.’

‘I am about to do something terrible. and you will have a choice.’

‘they give nothing to the universe, and the universe owes them nothing in return.’

‘you cannot survive my death.’

‘you’re trying to deceive me. you don’t get to deceive me.’

‘this is not the way. this path leads only to darkness.’

‘when are you going to stop being such a damn coward? what are you running from?’

‘you will turn the world to ash, and only demons will live in the rubble.’

‘you dress up your crusade with moral arguments, when in truth you would let millions die if it means you get your so-called justice.’

‘you have not cared about anything for a very long time. you are broken.’

‘I am terrified. but only because I’m starting to remember who I once was. don’t go down that path.’

‘your country is ash. you can’t bring it back with blood.’

‘I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.’

‘you know the worst part? we’re so close to home.’

‘did you miss me? did you miss this?’

‘I just gave him some of his favorite medicine.’

‘resistance here means suffering. there is no escape. no future.’

‘you have nothing to fight for anymore’

‘what are you defending? you owe ____ nothing.’

‘we were disposable. we were tools. tell me that doesn’t make you furious.’

‘I am sick with fury.’

‘I will die on my feet. I will not die a coward. and neither will you.’

‘we could stay here. we could stay here forever. we wouldn’t have to go back.’

‘you’ll have to live with the consequences. but you’re brave ... you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.’

‘I have lost everything I care about. I don’t want peace, I want revenge.’

‘I don’t need to sleep. I need to feel nothing.’

‘do you want forgiveness? I can’t give you that.’

‘we avenged him. he’s gone, but avenged.’

‘you have to believe that it was necessary. that it stopped something worse. and even if it wasn’t, it’s the lie we’ll tell ourselves, starting today and every day afterward.’

‘aren’t you supposed to be a seer? do you ever see anything useful?’

‘we have an enemy whom we love.’

‘I’m going to find and kill everyone responsible. you cannot stop me.’

‘oh I’m not going to stop you.’

[buttercupbuckk]

BBC Merlin Characters: Houses & Wands

Having recently re-watched Merlin early this year, and getting into the fandom once again - I took it upon myself to do sort some of my favourite characters in houses but also create them their own wands too. All of these are based on my interpretations of the characters, as well as headcanons within the fandom considering many of these characters lack proper development within the show (*couch Arthur *cough* Percival *cough*). You are of course allowed to disagree, and I would love to here your own versions too! But i hope you enjoy this!

Also, fair warning, I am completely ignoring the Harry Potter history within this, cause honestly, its a bit rubbish,

Guinevere:

Though Ravenclaws are often depicted as wise and smart - qualities which Gwen certainly upholds of course - they are also incredibly creative and unique; underrated traits within Ravenclaws which I believe Gwen represents perfectly.

Regarding her wand, Hazel wood often chooses wielders who have deep connections with and a high awareness of ones emotions, regardless whether they are positive or negative in nature, and the power used through the wand relies heavily on the emotions of the caster. Not to mention they are incredibly loyal to a caster, as well as brilliant at producing skillful magic - which I thought did Gwen justice and represented her well. Unicorn Hair cores produce the most consistent magic, as well as being incredibly faithful.

Morgana:

Slytherin house is notable for traits such as ambition and cunningness, and even from Season 1, we are made aware of Morgana's own ambition as well as her determined nature - which perhaps gets lost in meaning of vague stubbornness. Slytherin house upholds many of the qualities Morgana has, and in my honest opinion, no other house is capable of representing her so well.

Witches and Wizards who wield wands crafted from Ebony are typically best suited for combative magic - which I believe suites Morgana's nature well, and pairs brilliantly with her as a person. Ebony wands are known for being just as determined as their casters and are never easily swayed from their cause either. Her wands core, Phoenix Feather, was an easy choice as through out the Harry Potter series it resembles magic as it changes form and ages in skill, which is probably because the core itself can take a while to show it's true nature and power - so I believed it to represent Morgana better than any other core.

Merlin:

Slytherin house is typically associated with misguided and villainous characters, which is just an incorrect notion in itself, I believe that Merlin suites many of it's other traits, particularly determination and cleverness, and given Merlin's sarcastic and sharp witted behaviour as well as his ambitious nature, I feel as if it is impossible to imagine him in any other house but Hufflepuff, given his extreme notions of loyalty and kindness, but in the end I felt as if Slytherin represented in just that much more.

Wizards who are chosen by Cedar wands are known for their strength of character and their odd loyalty. The wands themselves are just as perceptive as their wielders, and it is noted that it would be foolish to cross someone who wields these wands, especially to hurt people in which they care about: in general, it fits Merlin perfectly. Wands which contain Dragon Heartstring cores, are not only known for producing unbelievably powerful and volatile magic, but are also incredibly prone to accidents, as well as forming strong bonds with their wielders. Given Merlin's own personality and general character, his perfect wand would be one that represents his power, loyalty, and general clumsiness.

Arthur:

In a controversial turn of events, I did not sort Arthur Pendragon into Gryffindor. While he does show bravery and courage, I prefer to focus on my beloved traits of Arthur's - ones which he learnt from his subjects and friends, rather than from inherently being a noble and knight. Hufflepuff's are not only the most loyal, but they also have a strong sense of justice, dedication and hard-working tendencies. All of which Arthur should be credited more for, rather than just his courage and bravery. Even from early episodes of season 1 we are exposed to his sense of justice, as well as his dedication - not only to his family, but also to his knights and closest companion. Hufflepuff just suites Arthur's core better than any other house.

Regarding his wand, I spent quite a lot of time debating between quite a few choices, before ending up with Rowan wood and Phoenix Feather core. Rowan wands are suited best for strong willed and defensive magic, and refuse to turn towards evil. Notably, Rowan wands are at their happiest placed with those of a pure-heart, and can out-duel many. Phoenix Feather wands are hard to learn, but given time and dedication, are perfectly suited for those with powerful magic.

Lancelot:

The values of a Gryffindor are ones that align with Lancelot in almost perfect ways. From his chivalry to his nerve, Lancelot is just the most accurate portrayal of a Gryffindor within this show, and perhaps across a vast amount of fictional characters.

Crafting Lancelot's wand was rather easy for me, considering his clear character and personality. The wood I chose, Black Walnut, typically represents wizards with good instincts and easy to master, but it is quite attuned to inner conflicts and is unable to perform to a witch or wizard who is dishonest to themselves, and given Lancelot's tendency to exceedingly keep himself honest to his cores, I felt that it suited him the best. The core, I believe, balances it out well given that Unicorn Hair wands are typically loyal to their original owners and create stable and consistent magic.

Gwaine:

Like Lancelot, Gwaine treasures many of Gryffindor's values but at the end of the day, when it comes down to is, he is just stupidly brave and above all else, he is one of the most daring knights to ever grace Albion, nevermind Camelot.

His wand was honestly the most comical thing to create in my opinion. Dogwood wands are typically best suited for entertaining wizards, who are playful and exciting. However, it would be wrong to think that they are not capable of producing the most serious magic - as these wands can perform outstanding feats of magic, especially under tough conditions. For Gwaine's core, I chose a more exotic option, deciding upon Thunderbird Tail Feather which are powerful but incredibly difficulty to control - and i thought that this represented Gwaine well, especially given his own stubborn nature and inability to step down from a fight would explain how wands of these cores perform magic alone to protect if needs be.

Leon:

I will stand by Hufflepuff Leon until the day I literally perish. If you wanted a definition of pure and true loyalty, I would simply point you in the direction of this man. As a Hufflepuff myself, I see a lot of my own qualities in Leon, especially his dedication, hard work and loyalty - he's also quite funny, and while not an official trait, many Hufflepuff characters are known for using comedy to protect oneself from something - in Leon's case, "poetry".

I struggled immensely to craft Leon's wand, and it certainly took a lot of effort it find the perfect wood and wand combination that suited his essence. In the end, I chose English Oak which is best suited for loyal wizards who's core is made from strength, courage and fidelity. People who use these wands typically have powerful intuition too. For the core, I believed for a loyal wood to be used at it's highest, it needed a core which matched it's loyalty perfectly - so that is why i chose Unicorn Hair core for Leon.

Percival:

For Percival, I followed a similar route to that of Leon and Arthur, choosing Hufflepuff house. Percival has a strong sense of justice, and seeks it more often than not, but he also appears at most times, incredibly kind and respectful - not just for appearances sake either, but as a reflection of his true feelings towards people. Percival embodies truth and honest, Hufflepuff traits often hidden by their loyalty and kindness.

Pear wands are best suited for wizards who are warm-hearted and generous, and the wands themselves tend to be popular and well-respected, perhaps like the wizard who carries it. They are known for turning to the Dark Arts, and are some of the most resilient wands known to man, which I believes is a strong and noble description of Percival that is more than well deserved. Unicorn Hair core, like previously stated, is best suited for wizards of great loyalty and fidelity, and produce a steady stream of wonderful magic.

Elyan:

There is very little I can deduce about Elyan's character, but for a fact I know he is one of the most resourceful and determined knights, as he was long before joining those at the Round Table - and I think the fact that some of these traits he had to learn among the way is what truly embodies what it means to be a member of Slytherin House.

Wands made from Poplar are best suited for those who pride themselves on their integrity. They are consistent and strong, and often find themselves working at their best in the company of those with clear morals and determination to follow them - which is why I believed it to suite Elyan best compared to any other wand wood. The unicorn hair core paired well with this, especially if the wizard in question usually has good morals, and a tendency to seek justice.

Mordred:

Mordred is incredibly complex and difficult to decipher - he has skills which align to multiple houses, but in the end I felt more comfortable placing him in Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw's like Mordred pride themselves on their originality, independence as well as their tendency for being analytical. However, Mordred aligns best with Ravenclaws in this manner as these are the times in which Ravenclaws are described for overlooking specific senses of humanity whilst gathering a detailed picture - which on the end is why I placed him in Ravenclaw.

In regards to his wand though, I chose Red Oak for the wood of the wand given the fact that it works best for wizards who are quick-witted, and adaptable but also with a hot-temper - they are also great for spell creation, and given Mordred's core traits, i felt that this suited him well. The core to his wand, however, is another rarer core; Augurey Tail Feather. The core is best for those who are often misunderstood, wise, ready-minded, free-spirited, and reclusive. These wands have an affinity for divination to. So all in all, I felt this combination would make a perfect wand for Mordred.

[bunny-rambles]

Hey friend, I just saw some of your other asks and I wanted to chat with you. As a writer on this platform, I empathize with your struggles. The fine balance of making things and sharing your thoughts is delicate, and I very rarely post anything personal because I've learned they don't get seen as much - which is fine, that's why you make friends who can and will listen :)

As for the posts, I wish you could see how incredible you are for even making content!! It takes bravery to do it once, and courage to do it again. With the Fandom getting wider and less active, it's going to be dead space out there but it doesn't mean you aren't a worthy writer.

(I've learned over the last year doing this, you have to set some personal markers to reach. If I get 100 notes on a single character post, I'm stoked! (It doesn't always happen, trust me some of my favorite works have 45 notes on them) and if I get 200 notes on a multiple character post I'm pumped!) I've had to retrain my brain this way but, honestly, it makes me feel better about myself.

AND, instead of the numbers I go back and read old works and say, "wowo, I've improved so much!" (I'm here to make stuff yes, but I also want to get better at what I love - don't let writing become something you hate. Don't let low note counts dictate your worth. You are making something wonderful! trust in yourself and eventually you won't mind what your post looks like because you'll be working on the next one that's even better!

I know it's hard out there, being a content creator can feel lonely, so don't hesitate to reach out. You are more than your blog, live your life and use this as a place to get better at your craft !!

Rooting for you!!

- hazel

I have reread this, and reread this, until I couldn’t cry anymore because I bursted into tears when I read this for the first time. Truthfully, I didn’t want to respond, just keep it safely in my inbox so I can read it when I’m feeling at my worst, but that wouldn’t be fair.

Thank you so much, Hazel. When you put things into perspective, I actually feel a lot better about things. You are absolutely right, there is dead space now for most creators within this fandom, and I always forget that. I mainly forget when I see creators still getting an insane amount of notes.

Another thing you were right about, I got caught up in the numbers, and that was the one thing I really didn’t want when I started this account in the first place. Writing is something I’m passionate about, something I cherish and use to convey my emotions that I keep locked up. I should’ve never focused on the attention it got, but when you’re in this community, unfortunately it sometimes becomes inevitable to compare yourself to other works.

I actually do set little goals !! If it gets past 50 notes, I usually consider it a success and I’m very happy about it usually. I should stick to it but sometimes I just let my head get the better of me. I’m working on it,,,

It’s strange though, one of my favourites I’ve written was a piece for albedo that’s barely passed 80 notes, and it stayed on 30 notes for a good four months. I think I wrote that so well and I really liked how i did it but it’s gotten the least attention. Some of my least favourites have the most notes. So I understand not getting past the goals. But maybe I should take your advice and just hope I write better for the next time.

It’s surreal to see you telling me that you’re rooting for me, when I was inspired to start this whole thing from you and your kindness. You’re truly an exceptional human being and I hope i continue to grow closer to you. Sorry for never reaching out, I’m just incredibly nervous/shy around mutuals in fear of annoying them - I’ll try and work on that too.

Again, thank you. So much. This really cheered me up after this awful week I’ve had <33

[hellotherekenobi]

───flowers in the sun.

summary: you know fandral well enough to know how much of a flirt he is, but when he asks you to join him on a picnic one day, it turns out he has a reason behind it all with you.

a/n: dedicated to the one and only @megmeg-chan for fueling my daydreams of this man. this goes out to all my fandral lovers out there. i respect you. song i listened to while writing: flowers by in love with a ghost.

ONESHOT. ⟶ 1,616 WORDS.

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Days like today were always lovely, where the sun shining made everything gleam and sparkle and the breeze were gentle, not too cold but just the perfect temperature. Of course, days like today were always lovely when they’re spent with someone equally as such, but perhaps that’s why he was given the name “dashing.” You weren’t always that interested in him, nor the warriors three, but he slipped through the cracks and you didn’t put up much of a fight once you realized how far you had fallen for him—and who could say no to a picnic out in the Asgardian fields with Fandral, anyhow?

When he had asked you earlier today, you weren’t expecting much but as soon as you had seen the spread—fruit baskets and crystal glasses, a fine linen blanket with golden patterns etched into the fabric—you knew that, once again, he managed to slip further past the cracks you’ve never bothered patching up, and probably never will with him being so close to your heart already.

“These are delicious,” the strawberry in your hand drips down your finger as you wipe your lips.

Fandral chuckles, leaning his head further back to close his eyes up at the sun, resting on one hand where he lays. “I made sure to get only the best for you, darling.”

You don’t react to the nickname, having heard that from his lips countless times before directed at many a fair maiden. “I can tell, with all the food you packed. Must have taken some convincing to sneak this out of the palace.”

“Oh no,” he smiles, tilting his head to look at you. “Not at all, my dear. Only so much convincing for you to join me.”

You smile, wiping the strawberry juice off of your hands with one of the serviettes packed. “I’ve never taken you for the picnic type.”

“Well, what is it they say? A moment is only as good as the people you spend it with.”

“And this moment?” You tease, leaning on your elbow closer to him. “How good is it?”

He doesn’t hesitate to say, “Far greater than any I’ve spent before.”

It makes you smile, looking down at your lap as you fiddle with the serviette in your hands. The confidence in his words could make anyone swoon, but you’ve always been more hopeless than hopeful as a romantic for him. Yet you still cling to it, smiling wider and letting out a chuckle, looking up again.

“Always such a charmer.”

He nods in agreement, pursing his lips slightly as he grabs his glass for another sip. There’s a moment of silence between you two, where you simply sit basking in the sun and listening to the rustling of the flowers amongst the grass as the wind blows gentle and cool. Fandral was right about moments, since this one wouldn’t be as pleasant if he weren’t beside you, but you are still wondering why you’re with him here to begin with—not that you’re complaining but time spent with Fandral was always giddy at most, throwing quips each other’s way and believing his flirts to be mere fun. Hopeless not hopeful, you remind yourself.

“When are you leaving?” you ask finally, seeing as the question was danced around before the food was even brought out.

He sighs, something tired. “Tonight.”

“And you’ll be gone for...?”

“I don’t know—” he sits up—“I’m hoping no more than a month, should everything go to plan. These things don’t usually turn out that way, however.”

You hum in agreement, knowing how long his last campaign with the warriors had been—and how you waited to see him ride back home almost everyday. “I thought you enjoyed fighting battles? I hear so many stories.”

“All in truth, I assure you.” he wags a finger for emphasis. “But when I go, I’ll miss moments like these. I’ll miss you.”

Your cheeks burn by his words. “You won’t have any time to miss me.”

He shakes his head. “I’ll think of you always.”

Hopeless. Remember it. He’s a natural born flirt, and a good one at that, but this doesn’t mean anything to him. You keep telling yourself that but the more you do, the more you think differently. Or maybe you’re just trying to deny what he might feel because of the way you feel. Cutting your thoughts short before you lose yourself, you lean over to pluck a flower from the field, twirling it in your hands to have something other than the serviette to fiddle with in the hopes that Fandral won’t notice how nervous you are. He doesn’t leave the topic unfinished, though.

“That is why I asked you to join me here. If I’m to leave tonight, I want you to be the last person I spend my day with.”

“Fandral,”

“I know,” he chuckles lightly. “Everything will be alright. I know that more than anything.”

“Because of your bravery or your silver tongue?” you joke, expecting a laugh from him but only getting a smile.

“Because I have something worth fighting for.”

“What is that?”

You think you know the answer already, most likely for Asgard or his companions—something noble—yet you don’t expect his answer when he leans over to take the flower from your fingers, twirling it once before he fastens it behind your ear, looking at you softly to say, “You.”

It’s said so sincerely that you do nothing but stare at him, watching for a furrow in his brow or the crease in his smile to tell you that he was only fooling, but he just continues to look at you, something so genuine and intimate that it could tip you over if his hand weren’t still by your ear and gently brushing along your cheek.

You don’t know what to say, so you change the topic. “Does it look alright?”

It almost takes him a moment, but he doesn’t even look at the flower, instead staring so wistfully at you that you can feel his gaze, noticing the way his eyes flicker between your own and he swallows the clearing of his throat. “Yes, well... you are always beautiful.”

You can feel your heart racing against your chest, you’re scared it might rip right through the skin. What could you reply with that won’t end in a stutter? He’s captured your heart, though you try to deny it, and maybe now you’re about ready to tear down the wall after all these years. But even when his fingers brush along your jaw so tenderly, working their way to your chin, you need more before you can let him in completely.

“I need to know,” you say so quiet like the breeze, placing your hand on top of his to still his movements. He looks at you with those swimmable eyes of his, brows furrowed in a way that makes him look like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “All of this... how you are with me... is it anything more than just Fandral the Dashing?”

He leans back slightly, like your words had shoved him backward. The look on his face changes to disbelief but so fractionally, so soft-hearted, that you could almost think he was saddened.

“Do you truly believe I have no feelings for you?” he waits for you to tell him he’s wrong, that all this time you’ve known, and when you remain silent he says, “All that I do for you, it’s all of me. Every word I speak, every touch I give, it’s a reflection of how much I care for you. My dear, I have loved you ever since we were young.”

For as long as you can remember, you have wanted to hear those words from him. Every moment you spent wondering ‘what if?’ has come to a standstill, telling you so clearly that all your doubts were for nothing. Fandral loves you, but more than that he has loved you for the beginning. It’s so much to take in that you sit there, frozen, balancing on the edge of happiness and surprise, your thoughts being too loud for you to even choose how to outwardly react.

He’s known you for so long and chuckles breathlessly when you make no move, knowing how many words must be swirling inside your head. “Must I prove myself once more for you?” His thumb rubs gently at your chin as he leans closer, smiling when he notices the way you hold your breath. “Very well.”

You can’t think to close your eyes when he leans just that much closer and presses his lips to yours—the feeling alone being too good to be true, you have to make sure you’re not dreaming. Then just as softly, all at once, you fall into him. The wall comes crumbling down as you close your eyes and kiss him back, your hand reaching out to hold onto his shirt so that this moment doesn’t drift away from you. He smiles against your lips, tilting his head to kiss you deeper and feel you press against him. As he wraps his arms around you, he begins to peck kisses along your jaw, beneath your earlobe, and scattering featherlight kisses along your neck just to hear you laugh as you squirm in his arms.

“You laugh so sweetly, I might have to kiss you more just to hear it.” he has the biggest smile on his face as he speaks, leaning in close to bump his nose against yours. You giggle as you push him back lightly, hearing him chuckle along with you. “I’ll take the sound with me until I come back home to you.”

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