#to be fair i... am not pro midnights but i do think this song is just objectively excellent and i love it a lot like a diamond in the rough

[whiskeyswifty]

i also think that her finally winning soty for anti-hero would have a certain career capping and skill evolutionary significance to it. not only is it one that has ironically eluded her, due to circumstance and submitting perhaps weaker songs, as one of america's widely agreed upon most gifted songwriters, but this particular submission i think really exemplifies and makes a case for it's own win. soty is typically, although not always, referred to as a ballad category as the recording academy is a bunch of old white fogies with thumbs up their asses who think a ballad is the best vehicle for the most ~profound~ songwriting. the kind of category that ATW, had it been appreciated at the time writ large and submitted by her, would have easily walked away with the trophy for. but anti-hero i think is an even more deserving win (i know shocking coming from me). she's proven she can write a catchy and silly and frothy pop song and she's proven she can write an deft and clever and emotionally resonant ballad. but anti hero deploys that same deftness and cleverness and emotional resonance within the confines of a catchy and silly and frothy pop song. it's deft and clever in spite of the fact that it's a frothy pop song. and its a showcase in how after all her years of experience, she's learned to fuse her two talents together to really break the mold for what a "great" song can sound like, which is a far more accomplished skill than anything before. blank space is the original to do this in her body of work, although that still defaulted into the trappings of a silly pop song. the satire was only understandable to those who knew the broader context, but not too blatant to someone who simply wanted a petty and snarky pop song about nothing serious, children and adults alike. anti-hero insists upon it's darkness, mocks it even, and makes the case for a pop song to be just as self reflective and rich and mournful as a ballad. it's not the first pop song to do that, not by a mile, but it's the first pop song in a long time that's managed to do all that, be all that, but also be incredibly catchy and have the whole country singing along to an adult woman going through her depression spiral. it's a marvelous trick and feat and mastery of songwriting and the one i think she deserves most.

[alumnis]

Hello again Punzie!

OMG I LOVE HOW TOMMY YELLED TO WILBUR AND CALL HIM WILBITCH LMFAO-

Thank you for making my day way more better! It's just so accurate how you described their dynamic just what the-

Also, Would you mind to make maybe a headcanon about SBI Family (street fighters yes and sorry for asking them again-) are become protective of Female! Teenager! Y/n? By that I mean, Y/n is not really good fighter but she really likes music and drawing. Because of that she is not into a fighting - some of the people make a fun of it and one day they even left on her face a big bruise. She tried to hide it until one of the SBI member find out and they became really angry/protective.

Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable with it, again please ignore this massage and do whatever you want!

Have a great day!

Thank you my lovely for frequenting my page! I enjoy your requests being sent in.

Those nights

P!Sleepy Bois X FEM!reader (Family dynamic)

Fluff (A little bit of violence + angst and swearing.)

Demonish - TUYU

0:04───|────── 2:41

|◁ II ▷|

The freshly painted bus stop glistened, you sat there tuning your ukelele while thinking of things to draw for an art assignment that was due next week. You hear your father's car pull up, "Hey, mate. Hop in! Me, Wil, and Techno have a got a game on and I wanted to take you this time. I owe you takeaway food, so I thought it was only fair to take you." The van door slid open as you scooted over, flipping Tommy off while trying to get in your seat. The van then began to move as your bag slid onto the floor of the car, the seatbelt that was withholding you tightened.

About an hour later you arrived safely at the underground entrance to the venue, the grey brick wall looking somewhat dull. Phil took out his keycard, the metal door making a *Ding!*. A bright green light illuminated the keycard swipe. Access granted.

He led you and your older brother down to the backstage part of the venue, reminding the pair of you to not get in trouble. You and Tommy sat yourselves on the lounge near the staircase that you two had walked down, Phil slid open a door that led into the men's room, Wilbur and Techno exiting at the same time.

"Y/N!" Wilbur squeaked, hugging you. His black and orange-ish yellow jacket clinging on to your skin slightly. Techno waved at you and sat down on the couch, running a hand through his faded pink hair. "Can you can see my brown hair coming through, kid?" You nod with a smile on your face. "Looks like I'll have to give you another hair cut as well, Techno." Wilbur responds while adjusting his glasses. Phil walks out in his referee uniform, "Okay, boys! Time to roll out. Also Tommy can you do me a favour?" Tommy nods his head and changes his sitting position. "If anything happens to you two, feel free to beat them up. For example some asshat decides to give you two trouble, beat their ass. You hear me, Tom?" "Yup. Got it, dad." Tommy hums to your dad. The three older men go out of the small semi-enclosed room, sliding the opened red velvety curtain closed.

For at least 3 hours you and Tommy managed to keep entertained via drawing each other and making up stupid songs together. On the 5th song that you two had made this evening a pair of drunken men had attacked you and Tommy. You both managed to get those two older men out of the room, but you had your face littered with bruises. Tommy had somehow managed to not get hurt, but you on the other hand looked like you had been bitten by raccoons.

"Don't move, Y/N!" Tommy tried to apply a band-aid to your face, the curtain slid open to reveal all three of your older family members. You and Tommy jumped and began to panic. "What the hell happened, you two?" Phil frowned, running over to check on you both. "Who did this?" He said. He scanned your faces for injuries. Tommy sighed and gritted his teeth, that sigh soon turning into sadness. "We were beat up by two strangers. They called Y/N weak and I just had to!-" Tommy was cut off by Wilbur sharpening his blade, smirking sadistically. "I'll have them apologize soon. Don't you all worry." Wilbur said. "Wilbur S. Minecraft! No. You will not kill anyone, we are leaving now."

Techno growled and tried to walk off, ready to brawl with whoever hurt you. "Techno." Phil says sternly. "Fiiiinnnne." The twins groan. Phil hugs you and Tommy, "It's okay, kids." You and Tommy grip onto Phil and sob for a bit. "Okay, get your stuff you all. We're leaving to get takeaway. Then after we'll go home once we get the food, understood?" Phil spoke, you all nod quietly and collect all your things. The five of you walked up the grey staircase and open the door.

The cold midnight air hit your band-aided face, it felt nice. You heard the beep of the door that you had came through, it was now locked until someone else with a keycard swiped. You all climbed into the van, Tommy told a story as you all climbed in. "I love being a pro at videogames because you see that I am the best and most biggest.-" "Shut up, gremlin!" Wilbur laughed as he climbed into the front passenger seat, dragging his bag behind him and putting his glasses on. Techno happily smiled as he shuffled into the back with you and Tommy, he seated himself near the right window.

Soon after getting in you a set off to get Chinese food, the smell of it in the bags calmed you, the rest of the boys told stories as hit pop songs played over the radio. You got home late but it was totally worth it, just to spend time with your family. It was just one of those nights.

🌹🎀🌆

TAGGIES

[clumsyclifford]

OKAY. how about "This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…" with ur teacher alex/ambiguous office job jack? (or any version of jalex) (we just love jalex in this house)

well hello, she said casually, nine months later. thank you for the excellent prompt, sorry it took me so long to get to it, but you can thank yourself for that too considering going to ssf is what inspired me to finally write this one. bellawritess clumsyclifford pictures is proud to present: the tshirt jalex meet-cute :)

read here on ao3

-

Later, Alex learns that the boy at the barricade who’d elbowed Alex in the face trying to snatch the thrown guitar pick out of the air is named Jack.

“I’m so sorry,” Jack says for the millionth time, even though Alex has laughed it off every other time. He laughs it off this time, too.

“Seriously, it’s fine. And hey, you caught it.”

Jack holds up the guitar pick, triumphant. “I did catch it,” he says. The blink-182 logo flashes its dead and frozen smile at Alex. Alex finds himself smiling back, though not so much at the pick.

The leaving crowd parts around the two of them. Headlights flood the night, filling the street before them with light and noise. There’s a line of cars backed up further than Alex cares to imagine. Those at the front must have left the show significantly before the set was over. Quitters.

“What I didn’t catch was your name,” Jack adds. His lips quirk, like he’s proud of such a smooth line.

“Alex,” says Alex. “We should probably get out of everyone’s way. Are you waiting for someone, or…?”

“No, no, I came alone.”

“Yeah, me too. Was supposed to have a friend but he bailed on me last-minute.”

“Seriously? Bailed on a blink concert?”

“I know, right?” Alex grins. “Eh, whatever. If he’d been here you probably never would have elbowed me in the face and then we’d never have met.”

“But I would’ve never elbowed you in the face,” Jack says. “Don’t you think you’d have preferred that?”

“Not if it means we’d have never met.”

Jack’s smile slowly grows. “Fair enough. Did you know there’s a 24-hour diner literally five minutes from here?”

“Oh, man, I like the way you think,” Alex says, shoving his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cool late-night breeze. “I didn’t want to sit in this traffic anyway.”

“And I don’t blame you.”

“Well, lead the way,” Alex says, nodding down the sidewalk, and he falls into step with Jack as they both start to walk.

-

The Tastee Diner is charmingly diner-y — neon lights, stools at the bar, the whole nine yards — and, more attractively, it’s mostly empty at this hour. It’s past midnight, later even than Alex’s usual bedtime, but between the buzz from the concert and Jack the attractive stranger across from him, he’s not really feeling tired. If he’s going to flush his sleep schedule down the drain, a post-concert Friday night seems like the best time to do it.

And Jack is really cute. So that helps.

“Breakfast,” Alex says reverently when they’re seated. “Oh my God, a fucking giant waffle.”

“Wow, everything you say makes me like you more,” Jack says, leaning his elbows on the table. Alex glances over the top of his menu but Jack’s eyes are focused on his own menu on the tabletop. He’s smiling a little. So is Alex.

“It’s a giant waffle, Jack! How the fuck do I say no to that?”

“You don’t. This table is pro-giant waffle. At the exclusion of anything else.”

“You’re damn right it is,” Alex says. “Do we also happen to be pro-chocolate milkshake?”

“We’re pro-vanilla milkshake.”

“Ew, seriously?”

Jack rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know, how can I like vanilla when chocolate is right there—”

“Yeah, how can you?” Alex reaches over the table and covers Jack’s hand with his own. Their eyes meet. Very seriously, Alex says, “How do you look at yourself in the mirror, you monster?”

A beat. Jack chews his lip, clearly trying not to smile. “With great difficulty,” he says. He’s humoring Alex, but sincerity sparkles in his deep brown eyes. His earnest gaze holds Alex’s and he doesn’t pull his hand away. After a moment, Alex does.

“Well, if I looked like you I’d never stop looking in the mirror,” he says instead, and brings his gaze back to the menu. A laugh escapes Jack.

“You can’t turn it off, can you?”

“Turn what off?”

“Your flirty brain-to-mouth pipeline?”

“I could,” Alex says breezily. “I choose not to.” It feels like a subtle rejection, a quiet dig, but it’s hard to be sure. Jack’s smirk seems to suggest otherwise.

The waitress comes by to take their orders of two giant waffles and two milkshakes — chocolate for Alex, vanilla for Jack, though Alex is sure to give Jack a judgmental look as he’s ordering. When she goes, Jack laces his fingers together and leans back in the booth. “So,” he says. “Your name is Alex, you’ve got fantastic music taste, and you seem to be more or less my age, but that’s about all I know about you. Are you from around here? What do you do? Likes, dislikes?”

“Are you trying to build me a dating profile?”

“That wouldn’t be very opportunistic of me, would it?” Jack smiles innocently. Alex’s heart gives a little leap. “I’m trying to get to know you. You know, like any normal stranger would if they found themself at a diner with another stranger.”

That’s fair. They are effectively strangers, although Alex can think of a shorter word to describe what they’re doing right now. He glances around at the jukebox-esque machine bolted to the wall next to their booth, at the empty swivel stools at the bar, at the marble tabletop where Jack is absently tapping his fingers. The decor of the diner is very classic, and he and Jack, both dressed in blink merch and black jeans like the perpetual emo teens they’re no doubt trying to emulate, stick out like sore thumbs.

However unintentional, it sure as hell feels like a date to him.

“I’m from Baltimore,” he starts. Jack lights up.

“No shit! Me too.”

“Really? Whereabouts?”

“Well, I work by the harbor.”

“No shit, I work in Highlandtown,” Alex says excitedly. “Highlandtown Middle. I’m a teacher.”

Jack whistles lowly. “That’s fucking awesome. What do you teach?”

“Music,” Alex says, and Jack groans, although he’s smiling as his hands move to cover his face.

“Of course you do,” he says.

Alex tilts his head. “What, are you not a fan of music teachers? That’s insane.”

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just.” Jack laughs. “Of course the hot guy I meet at a blink-182 concert is a middle school music teacher. I feel like God is punishing me for refusing to play anything but bad drums in middle school band.”

Alex also laughs. Being called a hot guy by a hot guy is making his stomach do gymnastics. He’s too old for his stomach to be doing things like that, but his stomach clearly doesn’t care. “Well, if I’d been your teacher, trust me, you’d have been playing solidly mediocre drums. But I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Jack’s hands fall to his lap. “I’m sure I’ll get over it,” he says with a slanted smile.

Alex swallows and grins. “So did you look up surrounding diners before you came, or are you just…inexplicably familiar with Silver Spring geography?”

“I come to a lot of concerts here,” Jack says, nodding in the general direction of the venue they’d just vacated. “Venue’s awesome.”

“Yeah, it really is. Honestly, I’m still amazed that you caught that pick.”

“I have a lot of practice. From aforementioned many concerts.”

“I can see that.”

“Trust me, it’s a very specific skill. I’ve got awful hand-eye coordination,” Jack says with a chuckle. “My dream of being the youngest Oriole inducted into the Hall of Fame was crushed at a young age.”

Fizzy champagne fills Alex’s chest. He can’t stop smiling. “Fuck yes, you’re an Orioles fan?”

“That’s my team,” Jack says, looking excited. Possibly at the prospect of meeting another person who’s equally interested in both music and baseball. That’s why Alex is excited, anyway.

“It’s my team,” he says enthusiastically. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, they fucking suck—”

“Oh, no, yeah, they’re the worst—”

“But I’d take a bullet for them. I happily go down with ‘em every year.”

“Yeah, they’re my boys,” Jack agrees. “Here’s hoping this season is better than every single other one.”

“Yeah, all my fingers are crossed, but between you and me I don’t have a lot of faith.”

Jack shrugs and nods. “It’s good for my ego to be so loyal to such a bad team. Keeps me humble.”

“That’s the best attitude I’ve ever heard,” Alex says, and Jack’s smile is so radiant Alex could swear he can feel the glare off the shiny marble tabletop.

-

“Between ‘All The Small Things’ and ‘Going Away To College’ how the fuck am I going to choose ‘Small Things’?”

“Yeah, but it’s such a classic! ‘College’ is, like, emo and…emo.”

“No more emo than ‘I Miss You’ —”

“That one is a classic—”

“I’m not saying it’s not, I’m just saying ‘College’ is their best song and it deserves its spotlight.”

“That’s ‘Feeling This’ erasure and you know it.”

“Besides ‘Feeling This,’ but they always play ‘Feeling This.’ I stand by what I said. I’d swap ‘Small Things’ for ‘College.’ Deal with it.” Alex tongues his milkshake straw into his mouth. “Your turn.”

Jack glares at him for another long moment, like he has to properly make his point about it. “Fine,” he finally huffs. His gaze shifts sideways, off into the distance like he’s thinking, and he swirls his own straw around his milkshake cup. Alex can kind of see his reflection in it. While Jack is thinking, Alex quickly checks his phone.

(21:47) Rian Dawson: How’s the concert? Fuckin bummed I couldn’t make it :/

(21:48) Rian Dawson: Hope you’re having a good time anyway. Text me whenever you get home so I know you didn’t die or get trampled by a mosh pit or whatever the case may be.

Alex smiles and turns off his phone again.

“I feel like I can’t choose a song off Enema now that you did,” Jack mumbles.

“You can,” Alex says. “It would just be kind of a lot of Enema.”

“No, but Enema is a legendary album. I’d go to a show that was literally just all of Enema.”

“Why were you complaining about ‘College’ then!”

“I’m not complaining about ‘College’ itself, I just would never trade it for ‘Small Things’!”

Alex scoffs. “They play ‘Small Things’ all the time. I’ve never seen ‘College’ live. I’d literally kill.”

“Oh my God, I know what I’d do,” Jack says. “‘Shut Up’ instead of ‘Down.’ That’s the only thing that could make this set list more perfect.”

“Ohhh,” Alex says, “that would be fucking sick. Imagine two thousand people just shouting ‘shut the fuck up, she said’ at the top of their lungs.”

“I cannot think of anything cooler than that.”

Alex hums thoughtfully. “So you went with Take Off Your Pants instead of Enema in the end.”

“Alright, don’t get it twisted. If I could add the entirety of Enema to the set list, I would. But if I only get one song, it has to be ‘Shut Up.’ More Enema is never a bad thing.”

“Why wouldn’t you trade ‘College’ for ‘Down’ then?”

“Because that was your set list move, and this is mine,” Jack says. He slaps the table. “Yeah. This is the answer. Someone get Mark Hoppus on the line, stat. I have to tell him I’ve figured out the formula for the perfect set list.”

“‘Shut Up’ live would be awesome,” Alex concedes. “Good move.”

“What can I say, I have extremely good taste,” Jack says airily.

Alex snorts. “Okay, Vanilla Milkshake.”

“You’re just afraid to taste it because you know deep down that it will be better than your chocolate one,” Jack says, pointing his straw accusingly at Alex. Drops of milkshake fall onto the table. Alex sweeps a napkin over the mess.

“You had an advantage over me, though,” he observes. “You said your favorite blink song is ‘Feeling This,’ which was already on the set list. My favorite song wasn’t, so my hands were kind of tied.”

“It’s among my favorite blink songs,” Jack says. “I have many. Most of which are set list staples, yeah. But that’s on you for only having one favorite song.”

“Wait, what? You can’t have many favorites, that defeats the whole point of having a favorite.”

“I can have multiple favorites, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“No way, man. You only get to have one favorite. You can have second-favorites or close favorites but there’s always one that’s better than the rest.”

“Sorry to burst you bubble, Al, but I have more than one favorite blink song,” Jack says, shrugging. “I also have more than one favorite color and more than one favorite food and more than one favorite song.”

Alex shakes his head through Jack’s speech. “I reject this out of hand.”

“You can’t.”

“Well, Clearly Enema is your favorite blink album.”

“Tied with Take Off.”

“Seriously?” Alex narrows his eyes. “Come on, there must be one thing you have just one favorite of.”

“Yeah, there is,” Jack says. “My favorite movie is Home Alone. No other movie comes anywhere close.”

Of course it is. Alex grins and inclines his head in accordance. “That…is extremely good taste.”

“Thank you,” Jack says graciously, and slurps loudly from his milkshake.

-

The next time Alex checks his phone, his brain takes a moment to catch up. “Holy shit, it’s already one a.m.?”

“Oh shit,” Jack says, checking his phone as well. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

That adage has never felt more true. Slowly working through giant waffles and milkshakes while exchanging questions and random conversational topics with Jack has been the most fun Alex has had in a long time. Diners, he muses. There’s something about diners. Time feels frozen within these walls, and Alex kind of wants to stay in the time bubble forever, laughing with Jack until the sun comes up.

He could do it. Tomorrow’s a Saturday. Nobody works on Saturday, not even Jack at his “boring office job” (his words).

But he knows there’s a reason that nothing gold can stay. It wouldn’t be valuable if it lasted forever. The night will crystallize as something special in Alex’s memory, but it can’t do that until it ends. And it has to end eventually.

“We should probably go,” Alex says reluctantly. Jack nods once.

“Yeah,” he says. He signals for the check and looks back at Alex. “My treat.”

“Uh, no way. I’m paying.”

“Nope, not happening. I will elbow you in the face again if I have to. I’m paying this check.”

“Jack—” Alex wavers. Jack looks so insistent, eyebrows raised like he’s daring Alex to argue, and there’s nothing to do but smile. “Okay. If you insist. We’ll call it even for you assaulting me earlier.”

“Exactly,” Jack says, and he happily accepts the check when the waitress hands it to him.

“Did you guys get everything you need?” she asks the two of them.

Alex glances at Jack, but Jack’s scanning the check. “Pretty much, yeah,” he tells the waitress. She leaves them with the check, and they vacate their table to go pay it at the front.

Alex wonders what someone might think if they saw this table. Whether anyone could even begin to illustrate the story of the night using only two empty milkshake cups and two plates that formerly held waffles. It would be impossible. Not even Sherlock Holmes could work this one out.

Alex smiles. They’re a fossil in amber, preserved in memory. Even if it turns out not to be a date, Alex knows he’ll look back on tonight fondly, and he can count on this exact same smile every time he does.

Jack finishes paying and turns to face Alex. One arm outstretched, he says, “Shall we?”

Alex links their arms. “After you, good sir.”

They’re laughing as they leave in a glow of neon light.

-

“This is me,” Alex says, gesturing half-heartedly at his car. They both stop short behind it.

“Ah,” Jack says, nodding. “So I guess this is where I leave you.”

Alex swallows. “I’m glad you elbowed me in the face,” he admits, which sounds strange to say out of the blue. “I had a good time tonight.”

“What, at the concert?”

Jack is obviously teasing, but Alex doesn’t mind being more clear. “Actually, I think I had more fun after the concert,” he says, smiling a little. “You’re good company, JB.”

Jack smiles, and if Alex isn’t mistaken, he’s also blushing. “Same to you,” he says. “Despite your wrong opinions about the set list.”

“I hate sounding like a cliché,” Alex says, ruffling a hand through his hair. Jack cocks his head. “But, um, I’d like to see you again. If that’s okay.”

“So okay,” Jack says. “And totally plausible, considering we apparently live within twenty minutes of each other.”

“True,” Alex says. “The universe really wanted us to meet, I guess.”

“Thank you, Universe, for putting Alex in harm’s way,” Jack says solemnly, looking upwards. Alex laughs. “Can I have your number?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.”

Alex recites his phone number for Jack to enter into his contacts. “I promise I’ll call,” Jack says. His gaze flits around Alex’s face like it can’t find a good place to land. He drags his index finger diagonally over his chest. “Cross my heart and everything.”

“I have to ask,” Alex says, shifting on his feet. “Were you— was this supposed to be a date?” He hesitates; maybe that’s the wrong question. “Was it a date?”

“For the sake of anniversaries, let’s say yes,” Jack says. Immediately his face puckers in regret. “Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m— my brain gets ahead of me.”

“No, it’s all good.” It’s more than good; there’s a horde of butterflies in Alex’s ribcage that won’t fucking quit, not now that he knows Jack is thinking of anniversaries when this is only maybe their first date. A person who is not only anticipating a future for them but preparing to celebrate it. So far, so fucking good. “You’re a practical thinker. I can appreciate that.”

“And I appreciate that you aren’t deleting your number from my phone even after I just said that to you,” Jack says, grinning. His grin melts away when he sighs. “I should go. It’s late.”

“Yeah,” Alex echoes. “Late.”

“Please drive safe,” Jack says seriously. “If I’m the last person to see you before you die, that’ll make me look really bad.”

Alex laughs. He likes that Jack keeps making him laugh. His friends make him laugh, too, but Jack makes him laugh in a different way, like he can’t stop himself. Like the delight refuses to stay trapped.

“I promise to drive safe,” he vows. “I owe you a date. I would hate to lose the chance to impress you.”

“Oh, wait, that reminds me.” Jack reaches into his pocket and presses something into Alex’s hand. It’s the guitar pick, warm from Jack’s pocket. “You’ll probably use it more than me,” Jack explains, ducking his head. “You know, being a music teacher and all.”

“Oh,” Alex breathes, flipping the pick in his palm. “That’s, um…thank you. Thanks. I’m…”

“Yeah,” Jack says, licking his lips. “Of course. Um, okay, now I really should go. But like I said, I’ll call.”

Alex nods, still staring at the guitar pick in his hand. His head snaps up and he breaks from whatever trance he’d fallen into. “I’m counting on it,” he says, stepping closer to Jack. He hears Jack inhale as he leans closer, brushing his lips to Jack’s cheek.

When Jack speaks, it’s a hoarse whisper. “I had a good time too, you know.”

Alex leans away and starts walking backwards to the driver-side door. “Good,” he says, smiling warmly. He’s not really trying to smile so warmly but he can’t help it. “Get home safe, Jack.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “You too, Alex.”

[sinjinlover1]

Long Lost Partners

Summary - When Kaminari gets caught from cheating on the recent English test, he receives an unusual punishment from Present Mic and joins another student from class 1-B. The two hit it off but Kaminari can’t shake the feeling that he knows this individual. But from where? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say that Denki Kaminari was tired would be an understatement. He was absolutely wrecked, though partially was his own fault. This morning he swore off procrastination and walked into class proclaiming that he was a new and improved man. To be fair though, this was probably the three monster energy drinks he downed while running to school talking, not him.

"Nice man! You know it takes someone who is really manly to step up and take action so I'm proud of you." Kirishima slapped his back appraisingly.

Jirou only looked him down suspiciously. "You sure that's you talking?"

"Hey I'm serious! The second I get an assignment I'll do it. I won't leave it off to the last day like last night ever again." Denki shivered at the thought of what went down this previous night. He was up until four am this morning trying to crank out the two weeks worth of homework that he had been piled up, which conveniently all had the same due date, today. Couldn't help but wonder if teachers planned to have the same due dates for work to make students' lives hell as he tried to complete his English homework.

Iida butted in with a smile on his face while performing his routine robotic chops, "I praise you Kaminari for being an example to the class! It is unwise to leave assignments to the very last minute when you can give them the attention they require and get full marks." At this comment almost everyone in class 1-A turned to look at Kaminari who was wearing a smug smile.

"You hear that Sero?" Kaminari asked with a shit eating grin. He opened his arms wide open giving him a full view. "I think you need to look up to me now."

"You're so full of shit." Sero remarked at his gloating friend who was basking in the attention. This was all in good fun though. Sero and Kaminari had met this year and got along the best between anyone else in class. Sometimes even taking time to hang out after school or play some games online.

Sero didn't really plan on looking up to Kaminari as usually it was the opposite way around. When Sero logged on last night to play a game, he had expected Kaminari to be on as he usually was, but instead was met with a text message saying, "can't tonight. doing this bitch ass English hw."

Sero knew that his friend had been procrastinating but when he opened Snapchat this morning he saw a whole new level of this bad habit. While going through Denki's private story he couldn't count the times Denki had filmed himself downing a whole monster energy drink. At around midnight he even filmed himself making what he called, 'The Acid Drink' which was a 20 oz. bottle of a mixture of coffee, Monster drinks, Kool Aid mix, Red Bull, and just pure granulated sugar. He even attempted to do shots of the 'Acid Drink' while workin on quadratic equations. Again, Sero didn't think it would be wise to follow in Kaminari's steps.

"Man how the hell are you going to stay up all day when all that sugar and caffeine crash?" Sero asked. He was sure his friend had come prepared and to be honest, he wanted to see what his plan was. And Kaminari's smile confirmed his suspicions as he pointed towards his bag.

"I've already thought ahead my friend. I left a bit early to go to the store to get some Red Bulls, candy and other stuff, which was a good idea considering there was a villain attack right near the shop. That would've been rough getting to school this morning."

Sero nodded in agreement. He left a bit too late this morning and he was actually caught up a bit in all the traffic and mess from the attack as well. Two people with quirks that enhanced their sizes went at it at 7:30 in the morning creating huge amounts of destruction.

"Yeah it was a pain in the ass trying to get through. Thank god I made it though. I don't think I can afford to be yelled at by Mr. Aizawa for being late again."

"It would kind of suck if one of my friends got expelled for showing up late to his class for the third time." Denki was now popping a couple smarties in his mouth before chewing it up. Sero then gave him a pointed look before Denki handed a couple over to his friend.

Right on que Mr. Aizawa walked into class for homeroom and thus began another uneventful day of learning, that is, until the end of English class.

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Hearing Present Mic speak was never a problem as that man never ceased shouting about anything. And that proved to be quite annoying in Denki's attempt to learn the English language. Well, that's at least what he blamed to be the cause of his current failing English grade.

Now, Denki Kaminari isn't the sharpest tool in the shed but that doesn't mean he is a total flop. He passed the UA entrance exam so that has to mean something, right? But when it comes to languages that is where he has never succeeded and doesn't think he ever will.

So today when Present Mic started class by asking for Denki to stay after class because, 'I have a few concerns about your English test," this really didn't come as a surprise. Even if it was expected, because there was no denying it, he bullshitted and cheated his way through that last test, that still didn't stop the sinking feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he knew something was wrong.

He looked around the room as everyone once more stared at him like this morning, but he felt 3 pairs of eyes who looked at him knowingly. And those people would be none other than Hanta Sero, Eiji Kirishima and Mina Ashido.

Kaminari gave a cold look at Sero who also seemed to look like he was sweating in his seat as well, but Present Mic never said anything about him and started his lesson by screaming a song in English.

'That asshole isn't being called out but I am.? We both cheated on the same test using the same sheet yet Sero is the one who gets the clear? Jesus, I'm probably going to be chewed out by Present Mic which is way worse than Mr. Aizawa. Scratch that Mr. Aizawa is scarier than Mic but Mic is just so loud I think that makes up the difference between how annoying they are to be yelled at by.'

And so, by the time English class was coming to an end and lunch was near, Denki did not learn anything in that class as he spent it in his own inner monologue.

"And that's really the main difference between using singular and plural nouns listeners! See you all on Wednesday have a good lunch!" Present Mic concluded his lesson and gave Denki a lingering stare saying, 'don't start leaving yet.' Denki looked to all his friends as each left.

Mina gave him a quick nod and a wave before walking out.

Sero passed by snickering as he confirmed that he was in the clear and was safe.

And finally, Kirishima gave him a quick pat on the back before joining the rest of the gang outside the room.

And Bakugou, Denki didn't even see him leave but he assumed he just packed up and left as usual.

So now all that's left in the classroom was himself and Mic.

Denki slowly made his way up to Mics desk mustering up as much as a pleasant attitude as he could, while also praying his eardrums won't split if he gets too close to him. When arriving at the front of the classroom all he could peep out was, "What's up?"

'Woah that came out higher than expected.'

Present Mic propped his legs on his desk and crossed them before taking a deep breath. "Listen here listener,"

'How can I not listen if you're shouting constantly.'

"Do you know what being a true hero means?"

'Well I didn't expect that.'

"Yeah, it means risking your life to save other people right?" Kaminari wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going but Present Mic sure got serious all of a sudden.

"I know what a pro hero does, but I am asking about a true hero here. Someone who does or takes actions that are heroic for others without the benefit from doing actions. Being a true hero means being honest," Present Mic consequently pulled out his recent English test and handed it back to Denki concluding, "and cheating is not honest."

'Oh so that's where he was going with that.' So Denki Kaminari took the test marked with a big '0' and took that as his queue to zone out. After years of practice he could say that he mastered the art of looking like he was paying attention, but really was somewhere else in his mind entirely. He wasn't sure if this was something to brag about though. Sometimes words slip in but if he focuses enough, he can totally tune them out and do something else. Like think about what he wants to do after this.

As Present Mic continued on about cheating and whatnot, Denki got more tired by the minute, wishing he was drowning himself in caffeine rather than Present Mic drowning him in words.

"So heroes aren't always the ones front and center taking care of the villians. Often these heroes are working behind the scenes and keeping society flowing. They are honest and handworkers who help their community."

Denki was now swaying from one foot to another getting even more bored with each passing second. Another thing about Present Mic which in his opinion makes him worse than Mr. Aizawa is that he doesn't get to the point immediately. Instead he makes elaborate discussions rather than just telling him what his punishment is like Mr. Aizawa.

"So for your punishment. Of course I will have you retake the test and we can set a date for that, but instead I have a better solution instead of suspending you for cheating. Because what does that teach you? Nothing! You know students can't learn much if..."

And Kaminari began to doze off waiting for Present Mic once more, to get to the point so he can eat. It probably would've been smarter to take his last Monster Energy before this class.

"...instead I'll have you working on your honesty through community service. I have a little group called 'Present Mic's Helping Hands' and it is full of students, like yourself, who also can improve upon their honesty or choose to help out instead of detention. I suppose you may have heard this on my radio show as I send out a line for people to call if they need help doing small services around the city." Present Mic beamed at his plan to Denki and even began to pull out a small binder that was sitting in the top drawer of his desk. Smiling even more, Present Mic beckoned Denki over as he went on about each of his services he did and photos that were taken.

Apparently that binder was just composed of photographs of Mic smiling with previous students who were all wearing matching and tacky bright yellow shirts. Some students smiled, while some looked like they wanted to leave at that very moment. There seemed to be a picture for every time they had a group of 2 or more to do a service project. Kaminari can't even guess how far back some of these pictures go.

"So I just have to do some community service for the rest of the week?"

"Right on listener! I'm so excited for you to help out and join our group along with another, though they've already tagged along once or twice before! I'm just going to have you two meet me at the front of the school at the end of the day! That is where I'll give our service assignment! Sounds good?" Present Mic concluded looking to see if there were any questions on the young teens face. With a simple nod to Kaminari's head, he sent him out to eat his lunch.

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As Kaminari approached the lunch table he saw that everyone was there waiting for him to ask what happened, and Kaminari explained it all. How he won't be able to play games for a whole week because he'll be stuck doing community services with some other person in Present Mics 'Helping Hands' group. He also brought out his last Monster Energy Drink which he has been saving for his lunch.

Sero snickered while finishing chewing his food, "Sucks to suck I guess." And at that Kaminari playfully jabbed him in the ribs making Sero slightly choke on his food. "What the hell dude? I thought we were going to at least get caught together but you get a freebie?" With that Sero only shrugged.

"Well at least you aren't suspended right? That could've been a lot worse. Like imagine if you got caught by Mr. Aizawa." Mina consoled while shuddering at the thought of Mr. Aizawas red eyes glaring into hers as he expelled her.

Kirishima decided to join in saying, "I think you should take this as a learning experience man." But before he could continue Kaminari cut him off saying, "You don't get to talk. I don't think you have ever had to cheat once in your life. And English comes easy to you for some reason. What did you do to get all smart?"

With that Kirishima shrugged his shoulders and turned to his friend, "I don't know being manly means being honest so cheating has never really been an option." Kaminari only stared at him with an annoyed face(because he knew he was right and probably won't try to cheat again) and went back to his complaining.

"This sucks. I really wanted to just take a nap when I got home. I hadn't planned on staying later so I didn't stack up on any energy drinks because the ones I'm having right now will last until the end of classes." He pointed to his empty Monster Energy drink before putting it upside down for emphasis.

As lunch was coming to an end more and more people began to get up and take care of their dishes and trash. The group followed suit and got up starting to walk to 5th period.

"You said that there's going to be one other person right? I don't know, just talk to them and try to get through it." Sero offered, trying to help his friend make the best of the situation he was stuck in.

Walking through the class door together Kaminari responded, "Yeah you're right, we'll see I guess."

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At the end of the day Kaminari changed out his shoes and made his way towards the front of the school where he noticed one other person standing and waiting where he was told to meet Mic.

'Probably the other person.'

Making his way towards them he started to get a clearer view on who would be joining him for the next week. And his first impression was not who he has been picturing at all. He thought this student would look like a total delinquent and fool around all the time but this person in front actually looked pretty put together. And also kind of hot.

"Hey I'm Denki Kaminari but you know you can call me Denki if you'd like." He flashed his best award winning smile waiting for his new partner for the week to respond. Denki began thinking maybe this won't be so bad after all.

"Hi I'm Y/N L/N and same you can call me Y/N I don't really care either way. Oh and I'm in class 1-B." You responded with a cherry smile. Denki didn't know a simple smile or laugh could make him feel warm and mushy inside. This was a foreign feeling.

"Oh for real? I'm in class 1-A." He said, but the sudden drop of your face meant that he needed to clarify. "I promise we're not like the rumors. At least not all of us." You knew what rumors he was talking about. A lot of class 1-B along with others from the student body tend to think that 1-A was just full of stuck up brats who think they are better than everyone else. And though Kaminari can think of a few students who fit into that rumor, he didn't think at least he was better than anyone else. It was quite obvious that he wasn't and the proof was that he was standing here with someone else who had cheated. Which brings up his next question.

"So did you get caught cheating too?" You shook your head quickly and let out a bit of a chuckle. Scratching the back of your neck as though you were embarrassed, you responded sheepishly,

"Well it's a bit of a long story,"

"Alright guys for one box of Pocky I'll do a backflip right off of Mics desk to my own seat." You exclaimed to your quiet class who were all patiently waiting for Present Mic to come. Everyone turned to you with eyes wide open.

Kendo was quick to shut this down. "Yeah, no you won't. I don't need you causing a scene. Besides Present Mic is going to be here any moment so we can just wait patiently. Save that for hero training." She advised. While her words were convincing, Tetsutetsu's were more after saying two simple words, "You're on."

Immediately getting up you could hear both the mixed interest and protests of your classmates as you began to make your way towards the front of the desk. With a quick peek out the front door and seeing nothing you quickly mounted on top of the desk and got situated.

"Y/N I'm serious you need to get down. Present Mic is going to come in and punish us all for your actions." You looked at Kendo questioningly. "Are we talking about the same teacher? 'Cause the Mic I know would cheer me on." She gave you a small glare in return preparing to get up from her own seat to stop you.

"Hey c'mon! Wouldn't it be cool if when I jumped, I landed in my seat the moment Mic gets here?" You chuckled along with a few others in the class at the thought of pretending nothing ever happened and that a student totally did not do a backflip off of his desk full of all his personal work, files, records, etc.

You raised your eyebrow and tried to figure out how to jump so you would land right in your seat. Kendo let out a tired sigh before continuing her protests. Ignoring her you finally got into position and ready to jump. The rest of the class, though excluding a few, were all watching intently, a few even chanting.

And so, taking your leap backwards, it would've been a perfect landing, if your shoelace hadn't got snagged between two drawers from when you were fixing your position. As you jumped back you pulled not only you, but Mics entire desk causing it to fall and contents to spill everywhere.

Thankfully Kendo dropped her hands giving up completely and got up to help you out along with others who went to see if you were all right. It sounded like you hit your head pretty hard. And right on cue Mic walked into the disaster of a room with his desk completely turned over. Records, papers, pens, files, clips, all of it was everywhere.

And it didn't take long to find the culprit behind this as they were lying on the classroom floor. No other words had to be said between you and Mic other than, "Did you bring your shirt?"

After hearing the story Denki was now laughing it up as you gave him pointed glares. You continued on saying, "The worst part was that I didn't even get any Pocky!"

Kaminari raised his eyebrows at you. "Well yeah obviously. You didn't stick the landing. Can you even do a flip?"

In return you gave him a mock-offended look, "Can you even do a flip? Of course I can do a flip asshole." But at that Kaminari shook his head laughing, "From that story I think it was clear that you can not do a flip."

Now at this comment, you took his words as a personal offence. "How dare you, first of all fuck you, and secondly watch this." As you took a stance and did a back flip right in front of Kaminari. As you landed you stretched your arms wide waiting for an applause which was shortly given by Kaminari. After that's when the two of you began to laugh.

In that very moment Kaminari can feel as though they've met this person before, he could've sworn he knows that laugh. It's so distinct, something he would never forget yet he can't place where he knows it in his mind.

Now it was your turn to question his own skills, "Can you even do a flip?" But before he could respond the two of you heard shouting from across the school yard near the busses.

"Listeners! Come meet me over here!" Present Mic shouted waving over for the two to come.

And the two did a quick jog over to where Present Mic had been waiting along with a small bus that Kaminari guessed was to drive you both to the service activity for the day.

"Sorry that took me a while, I had to dig out a new shirt for our new member of 'Present Mics Helping Hands!'" He shoved the shirt quickly to Kaminari. Kaminari knew the shirts were tacky and embarrassing from the photos, but the photos never showed the back. He couldn't believe he was going to need to wear this all week. While the front of the bright yellow shirt said, 'Present Mic's Helping Hands,' the back of the shirt had Mics face plastered all over the back as he was showing his hands.

"So what do you think? I designed them myself! Pretty sweet right? Feel free to wear it whenever you're outside school!" He quipped. The first thing Kaminari wanted to do was burn this shirt to the ground.

Present Mic then turned to you, "You have your shirt from last time?" And you gave him a thumbs up before pulling it out from your bag and showing it to the two. The same face was plastered on the back of his as well.

"Awesome! Now put them on over your uniforms and come in front of the bus to take a picture! It's tradition that every time we go out for a community service activity we take a picture to remember these fond memories!"

The two of you both put on your shirts and made your way to the front of the bus. Lining up the two of you stood right next to each other, though it looked a bit awkward considering the space between you two. So Mic went up and pushed you and Kaminari both close together before turning around to fit him in the selfie. Both of you brushed hands slightly as you felt a faint shock of electricity when touching him.

"Okay Listeners on three say, 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' okay?"

On three you both exclaimed 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' though it didn't sound as enthusiastic as Mics booming voice through his speakers. With a look at the photo he turned off his phone and shook Kaminari's hand.

"Welcome to the group and congratulations on being the third member to join this school year!" Kaminari shook his hand back weakly and turned to you. "I didn't know there was another member." he commented.

As the two of you both climbed the bus preparing to leave you answered his comment saying, "Yeah, we were actually the first members to join this year. It was a guy from class 3-A and I remember being so surprised that this guy had been "recruited" into the helping hands. I mean he was just so quiet and shy too. Honestly the conversations were pretty one sided so it's nice having someone to talk to for this week."

Kaminari let out a small oh as their journey to the service activity continued. Mic was upfront driving the bus signing some English song and next to him was Y/N who was currently on her phone playing a game.

Taking a closer look the game turned out to be none other than Minecraft.

"No way you play Minecraft?" He asked as Y/N turned to look at him.

"Oh yeah! I haven't played in such a long time though, but only recently I've started to play again because my little brother got really into it. But I used to play a lot when I was younger."

Kaminari felt a twinge and that feeling like he knew who this person was before even meeting them happened again. But still he couldn't place the feeling to exactly where he knew them.

"Same! I was obsessed when I was younger and would always log on. Hold up I'm going to pull up right now and I'll add you on my phone now and then later sometime we can play." Kaminari whipped out his phone and opened the app he hadn't touched in such a long time.

"Sounds good, I usually play on my PC anyways." You replied going back to building your home on the game.

Once Kaminari had loaded the game he asked you, "Okay what's your username?"

You paused for a moment before going to scratch the back of your neck. "Promise not to make fun, I made it when I was super young and I've been a bit lazy to change it..." Kaminari stared at you, prompting you to go on.

"It's 'green_penguin.lover33.'" You turned away embarrassedly.

Kaminari stopped immediately when he heard that name. It finally clicked. From the time he first heard them speak to the time they had first laughed there was no mistaking it. He finally knows where he remembers you from!

"No way, you're 'green_penguin.lover33?' I'm 'sparkguy8!' Holy shit I thought I knew you from somewhere."

"Oh my god." You exclaimed. You knew that name the very second it was spoken. That is because 'sparkguy8' was none other than your very first and only, Minecraft boyfriend.

This was insane. It's not everyday you meet your first Minecraft boyfriend in person especially after such a long time. Kaminari was the first to start talking after the reveal.

"Where on earth did you go? When you stopped showing up I was so lonely. I thought we had broken up! I still remember your last words which were, 'see you soon.' What the hell happened?" Kaminari was literally bouncing in his seat like a puppy after seeing its owner come home from work that day.

"Oh that's actually easy to explain." You told him how when you moved your console got lost and by the time you had gotten a new one you were already done playing Minecraft and instead you played other games and just over time forgot about it all. It was just only until recently when your little brother had gotten a gaming console he got Minecraft and has been bugging you about playing together.

After taking in all this information, Kaminari feels as though his life is finally complete. Not only did his Minecraft partner go to his school, they were actually a really cool person and fun to be around, and not only that but they were really attractive as well. For once he could actually thank Present Mic for this.

"I hope you know that as soon as we get home we are playing right?" He said determinedly.

"Of course," you replied. Shaking your head in confirmation as the two of you rode the bus to the service activity. You felt closer to Kaminari then you have ever been with another person before.

Apparently cleanup from this morning's villain fight is taking longer than expected and Mic had received a call from his help line. Time couldn't have flown any faster as the two of you picked up rubble and trash from the part of the city that had been destroyed. Whether it was talking about older memories of playing, music, newer games, food, all of it.

In the moment when you two were parting ways, and you watched as Kaminari walked off towards the sunset, you were positive that attempting to do a backflip off of your teacher's Present Mics desk was the best decision you've made in your life.

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well hopefully that wasn't too awful to read haha.

i finally got the motivation to write and i’m going to start pumping out a bunch of these denki x reader one shots so stay tuned!

i hope you all stay healthy and safe, love you <3

-sinjinlover1

[mhdiaries]

Wave 1 Holt Hyde Journal

July 23

Woke up in a moving truck last night - in the cab... this time. But I was totally confused as to how I got there and exactly where I was going. I figured since Moms was driving it meant another new job in another new town - maybe this one will be the last for a while...

July 25

Tried to stay up so I could see what the new town looks like in the daytime but it was no use. Soon as the first ray or sunlight cracked the horizon I was out. Shouldn’t be surprised, since for as long as I can remember, I’ve been trippin’ to the music of the night. I can’t recall the last time I saw the sun... really I can’t. I used to wonder if I was part vampire but so far no fangs and no overwhelming desire to make beat juice my new drink of choice. I must do some serious sleep walking during the day though, cause sometimes when I wake up I am dressed like a complete dork. 

July 27

I put some flyers up at the Maul advertising my DJ biz. Hopefully I’ll get some bites. I know that once I get a few gigs I’ll be busy all the time ‘cause I can definitely spin some scary mixes.

August 1 

Being the new monster in town means I’ve got to figure out who all the players are so I don’t get off on the wrong claw with any of the locals. So I’ve been taking walks at night with Crossfade just to check things out. This is what I’ve peeped so far:

Count Dracula - This ain’t no mopey “Please give me a hug ‘cause I’ma vampire” cry baby. This is the original old school, dark as midnight, bad to the fang Nosferatu. There may be monsters that have been around longer but none of them have Count Dracula’s street cred. He and his daughter live on my street in what is either a gigantic mansion or a small castle. I guess you’d have to go with mansion but only because there isn’t a moat and a drawbridge.

The Mummy - Got to say there’s just something about old school monster royalty. They’re like rock stars or something I’m not the kind of monster that gets star struck but I seriously wanted to ask for his autograph. I didn’t but I thought about it. He and his princess daughter Cleo de Nile live in this palace that looks like a movie set with servants and all. I don’t know Cleo but it seems like she’s wound a little tight.

The Werewolf - There’s one Alpha wolf in his pack and he is it. I heard he could have gone pro in just about any sport he wanted but he was so much stronger and faster than the other players they said it wouldn’t be fair for him to play. He’s got a big family in a not so big house and it always seems like there is some kind of drama going on over there. The way they argue you’d think they don’t like each other but you’d be wrong. They watch out for each other and if you fight one of them you better be ready to take them all. Clawd is the BMOC - Big Monster on Campus and Clawdeen is going to have songs written about her one day. 

Frankenstein and His Bride - Mr. Stein is pretty chill for a dude who’s 8 feet tall and looks like he’s strong enough to tie knots in oak trees. Mrs. Stein on the other hand... well let’s just say Mr. Stein is a lucky monster. They live in a house that looks like a cross between a Swiss chalet and a research lab. I think they’ve got a new baby over there but I haven’t seen her yet.

The Sea Monster - He doesn't’ really live on land, at least I don’t think he does - for sure he’s got a little beach house where Lagoona Blue lives. It’s got this killer dock that goes out over the water. I saw Lagoona sitting out there talking to him one night. He never got out of the water though so I couldn’t tell exactly what he looked like but he churned serious water when he left. I think he mostly just keeps to himself and doesn’t spend a lot of time with surface monsters.

Medusa - Seems like she’s got her hiss together and is in total control of her emotions - good thing too, cause if she ever lost it, your career as a permanent life size paperweight would start right away. I guess that’s why she wears sunglasses outside of her house - even at night. Speaking of her house it looks like a building from one of those pictures at a Greek restaurant the kind with the big columns and everything. I bet the acoustics in that place are awesome. Wonder if she ever lets Deuce have parties up there? 

August 3

Have you ever met someone for the first time and it’s like you’ve known them all your life? Dude this totally happened to me last night. I was doing this bubblegum dance gig, not really my style but sometimes you’ve got to give the monsters what they want - ya know? Anyway, this absolutely smokin’ little vampire was out on the floor doing the Transylvania Trance and there wasn’t another monster in the place who could keep up so I flipped the switch to auto pilot and jumped right in there with her. When the song was over I was like, “Ula D you rock!” Then she said, “How do you know my name because I don’t think we’ve ever met have we?” I couldn’t think of a time when we had but somehow I just knew who she was. Weird huh? 

August 10

Had a date with the lovely and lyrical Operetta. She’s a bit of a diva but what a set of pipes! I took her to see this band I really like and everything was going great until this gargoyle bumps into her and almost knocks her down. I didn’t think his apology was sincere so I got hot and long story short... I got us kicked out. Operetta was embarrassed about it, and asked me to take her home. I sent her a dozen dead roses but she’s still not talking to me. My temper constantly gets me into trouble but never gets me out.

August 11

Mom found out about last night from Operetta’s dad. She says I need to do a better job controlling my temper and stop being such a hot head but it’s not like I can just become a different person. Sometimes I think she wishes I wasn’t a monster at all. Does she think I can just snap my fingers and turn into some dorky human or something? I swear sometimes I just want to ~~~~~~~~~~ ASHES! I melt more pens this way. Maybe mom’s right - wish there was like a potion you could drink to get rid of the bad stuff... oh well.

August 20 

I think I’m going to take some night school classes this year. I heard that Monster High does non-traditional classes for monsters who don’t do daylight and since I seem to fit into that crew I’m gonna sign up. There’s supposed to be this siren that gives voice lessons and Operetta’s dad teaches a keyboard class. 

September 5

I started working on this song that I want to be kinda about my life. Maybe inspiration will hit and I’ll finish it or maybe I haven’t lived long enough to write a song about my life. Anyway I got the first verse:

A twisted road plays out like a rhyme

Revealing itself a little at a time

Turn the corner Leave what’s behind

Outta sight and outta mind

Outta sight and outta mind

Guess I’ll have to see where the road leads.

[dandanthemotorcycleman]

Winterizing your bike, and yourself

               So, I’m a mid-west boy born and raised.  Which means riding year-round is not necessarily advised.  Hell, I don’t run outside past about early November so safe to say, the bike will probably also not be making an appearance past All Hallows’ Eve.  I purchased my bike in the fall since it’s considered off season and I wanted a deal.  I got one, but what that meant was, my first task with the new bike was to winterize it before I even got to learn to ride it.  Since I haven’t been able to ride it, all I’ve been able to do so far is go out to the garage, sit on the bike, and imagine.  I fired it up a few times, and even once bravely tested out the clutch by riding it from one side of the garage to the other.  Boldly go and such.

               The end result of my experimentation was a dead battery.  Turns out motorcycle batteries are a tad finicky and don’t like being used but not charged regularly.  Who knew? On top of my misuse, I purchased a used bike so who knows how the battery was treated before I so carelessly wore it down to nothing.

               Being the nerd that I am, I immediately jumped into some online research to determine if I was going to need a new battery in the spring and how much one would set me back.  As it turn out, how much it’s going to set me back can vary quite a bit depending on what level of technology I want to embrace.  I’ll save you the full breakdown of options, but I’ve decided on a gel.  I believe they boast a decent cold weather start capability, mid-range pricing options, are less likely to leak than an old school battery, and the play nicely with battery tenders.  Battery tenders by the way are another topic entirely but for now just know that you’re going to need one.

               Anyway, I may be getting ahead of myself.  I may or may not even need a new battery in the spring.  Step one, for now, was to remove the current (pun intended) one and hook it up to a battery tender for the winter.  If the battery is still usable, the tender will keep it fully charged and it should be ready to hook back up and go in the spring.

               So, my friend who was kind enough to test ride the bike for me was also kind enough to let me know that I needed to pull the battery for the winter, or I may have just left it on.  Complete beginner here after all.  He assured me it was a fairly simple procedure and should, “take about five minutes”.  I don’t doubt that this would be the case for anyone remotely familiar with what they are doing.  Forty-five minutes and three YouTube videos later, I had the battery safely removed and the seat back on the bike.

               I’ll give you just a brief breakdown of what it entailed here so you have a general idea of what you’ll be doing, but I would highly recommend YouTube for some audio-visual assistance.  I started by popping open the battery cover on the left side of my 2011 Sportster.  This was fairly straightforward and even I didn’t need a YouTube video to make it this far.  It was at this point that I began scratching my head.  Two wires appeared to be attached to the red terminal and the instructions on the inside of the battery cover clearly stated, remove the black connection first.  At this point, I’m thinking that I need to remove this bracket thingy (technical term) and probably pull the battery out to access the black terminal.  Feeling a little crowded by the seat being right in my face, and wondering if it may be possible to access the black terminal from underneath the seat, I figured I should proceed by taking the seat off so I could get a better look at what I was getting myself into.  Seat removal the first time for me was five minutes and the first two of three YouTube videos.  The learning curve is steep on this and popping the seat off takes about 30 seconds the second time you do it.

               After getting the seat off, I was welcomed by a jumble of wires but still couldn’t get to the negative battery terminal. Fair enough, the goal was to remove the battery anyway, so I may as well focus my energies back on that goal.  Big pro of seat removal is that even though I think the battery can be removed without taking the seat off, getting it out of the way really makes it easier to see and manipulate the bracket holding it in place.  There was only one screw holding the bracket, so I popped that bad boy off and the bracket came off easily enough after that.  I slid the battery out of its compartment and there it was.  The vaunted black terminal.  Thirty minutes into my five-minute job and I’d found it!

Quick background interlude here.  I served for a year overseas in Operation Iraqi Freedom.   Spent a solid chunk of that year fixing radios and electrical systems in HMMWVs.  That’s a Humvee for you civilian types.  Point being, I’m not entirely unfamiliar with working on vehicular electrical systems. So I do have a healthy respect of what happens when someone shorts out a battery while trying to remove it.  I managed not to do it, but apparently PFC Garrita dropped a wrench on one and it touched both terminals.  Oh, and HMMWVs run two 12V batteries in series to provide 24V of output.  From what I heard, the end result was spectacular, and sparks flew.  The lesson here is, when you disconnect the black terminal, don’t let it make contact with the bike frame as it is often used as the ground.  My college physics is a little rusty so I can’t go into too much detail anymore about exactly what would happen and why, but just make sure the black lead is tucked out of the way or even taped off if you’re the very cautious type.  With a properly fused bike, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but best not to test the system.

Unscrew the bolt from the red, or positive, lead and disconnect the cable. There you have it.  Battery removed.  Screw the bolts back into the battery so you don’t misplace them, and your battery is ready to hook-up to that tender sitting in your basement workspace. Close up the battery cover, pop the seat back on and pour yourself a beer, all while patting yourself on the back for a job well done.  Try not to pull a muscle.  It can be an awkward angle.

So that’s your bike taken care of, but how do we make sure we’re taking care of our own internal battery during the long cold winters with short, sometimes dreary, days?

Lean on friends.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to old acquaintances.  Remember that relationships are a two-way street and it takes traffic flowing in both directions to keep them active.  If you’re feeling lonely and down, ask yourself what you’ve done to reach out to someone else recently.  Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and make an effort.  Last summer when people were really feeling stuck home alone with the Covid blues, I commented on an old high school acquaintance’s post about a local distillery that he’d checked in at the year before.  It’s a local distillery that’s opened just outside of my hometown and I was completely unaware of it.  I think my comment was something to the effect of, going to check this place out when this whole corona thing finally passes.  Next thing I know, he’s calling me via the Facebook chat app, and we end up spending the next two hours catching up.  We were by no means best friends in high school, but it was great to talk to him again and I’m really looking forward to checking out that distillery when society opens up again.

I will say, if there is one silver lining to the pandemic, it’s the fact that we all have learned how to Zoom, or Houseparty, or Google chat or whatever group video call app you use.  Point is, use one.  I have some close high school friends that historically I’ve been lucky to see once a year and we’ve actually had more virtual “face to face” interaction in the last year than actual face to face time in the previous three years combined. Technology is making our world smaller and our friends more accessible.  

That brings me to the second self service of surviving winter with the double threat of a pandemic.  Keep looking to the future.  Usually this time of year I start planning a road trip or begin eyeing up upcoming musical festival dates.  Covid obviously makes this additionally challenging due to the uncertainty factor but start doing some research on locations that may offer outdoor activities as the weather begins to warm.  So, there are certain limitations to our current ability to foresee the future, but try to remind yourself that winter and Covid, as with all things, will pass.

Try to stay active.  I’ll be honest, I don’t like outdoor activities once the temperature starts to drop below 30, let alone the teens.  I’m trying to get better at enjoying the winter season here in the Midwest. I’ve found having and wearing proper gear helps.  Even with that, I’ll just acknowledge that I’m definitely more of a summer guy when it comes to outdoor activities.  This makes watching my diet and hitting the weights all the more important from November to March.  The nights may be longer, but that isn’t going to guarantee a good night’s sleep by any means.  I struggle with being tired already by 6pm but then being unable to sleep at midnight when I finally crawl into bed.  Even getting just 5 or 6 rounds of short but high intensity lifting or cardio during the day gets blood flowing and helps my body prepare to shut down and recharge at night.

Finally, find and keep alive, your year-round hobbies.  Aside from picking up the bike as a hobby, I home brew, play guitar, and write…which is what brought me here.  If your hobby is a productive one that results in say, some mildly palatable beer, all the better.  But there’s nothing wrong with having a hobby with no end goal or use other than enjoying loudly and poorly attempting to play and sing along with your favorite songs while no one else is around.  The more varied our hobbies, the better the mental exercise and more importantly, the more interesting and fulfilled people we become.  

Until next time, take care of your bike and take care of yourself.  

[numba99]

Fatal Attraction - Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary:When a mysterious man shows up at your job, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him - and him to you. But behind the beautiful face is the dark lifestyle of a man who has made his wealth through becoming the most powerful drug dealer in the city. Word count: 4k whew my longest work ever I think (there are probably some typos towards the end forgive me!!!)

Song: I wanna be yours // Arctic Monkeys

Warnings: blood, stitches (please ignore if its not medically accurate I tried y’all), smut

Your eyes fluttered open as warm morning sunlight entered the room. With each slow blink, details from last night came back to you. For a few moments you were certain it wasn’t all just a dream, but the bruises on your knuckles told you it was very real.

You looked down at yourself, you were in the pajamas you had packed, but you had no memory of putting them on. You peeked inside your shirt, seeing your bra was still on. Mika must have got you into your pjs because you would have never left your bra on to sleep, no matter how exhausted you were. You thought it was sweet, though, he could have been a creep and stolen a look at you while you were passed out, but he didn’t. He really was a criminal with morals.

Speaking of your favorite criminal, you rolled over, happy to find him still in bed with you. He was closer to the other edge of the bed, which in a king-sized bed felt like a mile away. His back was to you, allowing you to sneak up behind him and wrap your arms around him.

“Morning,” he mumbled softly. His eyes were still closed, but he smiled when you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Morning,” you whispered, cuddled against him. He was so warm and solid, curing the little chill you always seemed to feel in the morning, no matter the temperature outside. You couldn’t imagine anything that would be worth leaving this bed for.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Mika said, as if he could read your thoughts. He turned towards you, his eyes somehow even more beautiful with a hint of sleepiness in them.

“Who says we can’t?” you asked with a playful grin.

Mika chuckled, “Just about everyone who buys my product.” You thought it was interesting the way he spoke about what he did. It was all very professional, like he was working in a legitimate business. You didn’t mean that in a way to belittle what he did, clearly he did well for himself and you really didn’t have a problem with it. You wondered, though, if it was a show for you, like he thought you were more comfortable hearing “product” rather “drugs.” 

“Can they wait five more minutes?” you asked, not ready to leave this little slice of heaven just yet.

“Of course they can,” Mike replied, kissing your forehead.

“I have to say,” you began, absentmindedly running your finger over his arm, “I was a bit surprised about last night.”

“I’m glad I didn’t freak you out too much with Thomas. I was nervous you’d flip out on me,” Mika replied, watching how you touched him. He loved how delicately your hand moved along his toned forearm.

“No not that... well yeah I guess that surprised me too,” you laughed lightly. That was an understatement, but not what you were thinking of. “I mean the window thing. Not exactly what I would expect from a guy that wants to take things slow.”

Mika shrugged, “It was just the way you handled yourself, I don’t know, it got to me I guess. You're not very easy to resist, y/n.”

You were sure his words made your cheeks turn a bright shade of pink. “Guess it’s good you live so far up, or else some people would have gotten a good show,” you joked.

“I’d never let anyone else see you like that,” Mika said, laughing, though there was an edge of seriousness in his voice. You guess Mika was not a man that liked to share.

You laid together for a little while longer, but hunger got the best of you both eventually. You meandered out to the kitchen, thinking you would just be having some cereal or something. You should have known by now that Mika was not just a cereal type of guy.

“A chef?” you asked, not sure why you were even shocked. He was in the kitchen, churning out a little breakfast spread for the two of you. 

“I thought you’d be hungry after last night,” Mika replied. Your stomach growled as if to agree with him. You loaded your play with pancakes, eggs, and some fruit for good measure before settling down on one of the stools at the kitchen island. 

“Do you mind if Chris joins us?” Mika asked. You shook your head, your mouth was too full to reply verbally. 

At first you were sure Chris didn’t like you, but you think he was just very protective of Mika, which you appreciated. You guessed he thought you either just wanted him for his money, or got yourself into something that was way above your head. The former couldn’t be further from the truth and the latter, well, maybe there was a hint of truth to that. You didn’t know exactly what this lifestyle would entail, but you were prepared to do whatever it takes to keep up. You weren’t about to become a liability to Mika. With the look of approval you caught from Chris last night after handling Thomas, you think he was finally starting to see that too.

Chris came in form the elevator a few moments later, greeting you with a reserved smile, but a smile nonetheless. That was progress in your book. “We still on for tonight?” he asked as he filled his plate with eggs.

“Yeah, I’ve texted the guys to be ready at our normal spot at midnight,” Mika replied.

“What’s tonight?” you asked, not following the conversation.

“We’ve got a shipment coming in,” Mika explained, “Nothing big, really. It’s more of a decoy if anything. Dimitri’s trying to figure out where we import from so he can hijack the big one we having coming in soon.”

“Can I come?” The both shook their heads immediately.

“This isn’t like last night,” Mika replied slowly. You could tell he was trying to choose his words carefully. “Last night was secure. These things are... harder to plan for. Things can... go south fast. I don’t want you in the middle of that.” No matter how heavily he sugarcoated it, you knew he was saying there was chance he could get seriously hurt tonight, or worse. 

“You could die,” you heard yourself say. You didn’t want to sound scared or like you couldn’t handle this. Mika didn’t need another thing to worry about, and a small part of you was scared that if he thought this was going to freak you out too much he’d break things off.

“Please don’t worry, y/n,” Mika insisted, “I’ve done these countless times and I’m still here. Hell, this one is probably the safest one we’ve done in a while because we are anticipating Dimitri watching. We’ll be ready for him and any of the shit he pulls.”

Chris slung his arm around Mika’s shoulder and added, “I’d never let anything happen to Mika, I promise.” You gave them your bravest smile. It did make you feel better to hear that, but still you couldn’t complete ignore the nerves in your stomach.

“What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

“Isn't tonight your normal night to work a shift at the club?” Mika asked. You wondered if he planned it that way. He was right though, you were supposed to work tonight. You had almost completely forgotten about Rick’s shitty club; it felt like a lifetime ago.

“Ugh, yeah a do,” you groaned, “That place fucking sucks.” 

“Do you wanna quit?” Mika asked.

“I would love too.”

“So do it,” Mika replied casually, “You don’t need to work, I’ve got you covered.”

“Mika, I can’t, I don’t wanna mooch of you. It’s not fair,” you replied.

“You're not mooching, I want to do it,” Mika countered, “But if you want to work, I definitely support it. I’ll help you find a different job even. I just... I don’t really like the way other men look at you when you dance if I’m honest.” Yeah, he definitely didn’t like to share. You thought it was hot, though, how he spoke with such seriousness.

“Okay deal,” you replied, “I’ll work my final shift tonight and then look for something new. God it will be so nice to be able to tell off Rick once and for all.”

Chris let out a laugh, “Kinda wish I could see that.” You smiled, glad that he really seemed to be warming up to you.

“So I gotta ask,” you shifted the topic, “How did you to meet?” Mika and Chris exchanged a glance as if sharing a silent exchange of who wants to tell the story this time?

Apparently it was Chris’s turn. “Guess it’s not so crazy. I used to live with my family up in Massachusetts, but we didn’t get along well I guess you could say. My parents put a lot of pressure on me to excel in everything. They even wanted me to be a pro hockey player, I mean can you imagine?” Chris and Mika chucked before Chris continued, “Anyways, when I told them that isn’t what I wanted they basically kicked me out and cut me off. I moved to New York and started selling to get by. And that’s when I met Mika.”

“My dad used to have me scout guys,” Mika picked up the story, “Trying to figure out who we could recruit to work for us. I just clicked with Chris unlike I have with anyone else. He's one of the few people I trust completely.” Chris smiled bashfully at Mika’s words. You could tell they meant a lot to each other and you were happy Mika had such a great friend.

“I’m glad you have each other,” you replied. Specifically glad that Mika had Chris. It would make you nervous (well more nervous than you already are) for Mika to be out doing this without someone to have his back. Especially someone like Chris who, the more time you spent, with the more you were convinced he could wrestle a grizzly bear.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet. Mika was extremely calm for someone about to go out and break the law while being watched by some lunatic mobster. You spent much of your time laid beside him, his hand lazily tracing lines over your body as he made phone calls to the other guys finalizing the details. You wished you could get in his head and see if he actually had any fear, or if he was just being brave so you wouldn’t freak out.

Eventually, it came time for you both to go to your respective jobs. Hopefully it would only be your final time doing it. “Hey, don’t look so scared,” Mika said softly, tucking his finger under your chin and pushing it up so you had to look at him. “Everything gonna be okay, I promise. By the time you’re done with your shift at the club I’ll be home. You won't even have time to miss me.”

You couldn’t help but smile softly at the way he spoke to you. It filled you with such a sweet warmth and comfort. “I’ll be racing you back,” you teased, trying to show him you weren’t as nervous as you truly were.

“I know you will be,” Mika smirked, “So on the off chance you beat me to it, or if you need anything at all while I’m out, Lias is gonna be. We always have one person stay back in case- just for precaution. If you need anything call him.”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around him tightly. Mika gave you a peck on the lips and you returned it, which ended up in full blown making out in his living room. 

“Jesus there are plenty rooms in this apartment you guys need to find one,” a voice quipped. Lias had let himself in. You and Mika both rolled your eyes and laughed. “Chris and the guys are waiting for you in the car downstairs.”

“Thanks Lias. Make sure you keep your phone on you if we need anything,” Mika turned to you and kissed your forehead before saying, “I’ll see you soon.” You gave your bravest smile as a goodbye and watched him disappear into the elevator. You wanted to go out with him so you could spend as much time with him as possible, but Mika was concerned about being seen with you. As far as he knew, Dimitri didn't know where he lived, but he still didn’t wanna risk it if he was watching.

So after ten minutes passed, you set off to the club one last time. Despite your nerves there was a go giddy excitement coursing through your veins. There were so many times you fantasized about telling Rick off and now you were finally going to be able to do it.

That was all you thought about during your shift. Well that and Mika, but you were trying to not make yourself a nervous wreck and that was the best distraction. It definitely wasn’t your best night in terms of tips but you really couldn’t give less of a fuck. It wasn’t about the money. You were just there to fill the time. Each song brought you closer to giving Rick what he deserves. Each song brought you closer to Mika.

And finally it was time. You eagerly changed back into your street clothes, hugging the girls you worked with goodbye. They didn’t ask questions about why you were quitting. That was best part of this profession, the girls you worked with understood life could be... complicated. You were glad you didn’t have to come up with a lie.

“I’d like to talk to you, Rick,” you stated, shutting the door to his office behind you. It was less office and more closet he turned into a makeshift office to feed his sense of self importance.

Rick smiled a sleazy smile, “Finally gonna take me up on that offer to fu-”

“Oh would you shut the fuck up,” you snapped, stunning him into a brief silence.

“You can’t talk to me like that,” Rick fired back. He could be loud, but you were scared of him. He was coward and he wouldn’t lay a hand on you. Even if he did, you knew Mika would crush him in a second if he heard.

“I can do whatever the fuck I want. Because I quit,” you began, “You are never going to lay one of your disgusting fucking fingers on me again. Or any of these girls for that matter. None of them want to fuck you, they're just to scared to tell you off because you’re their gross, manipulative boss.”

“Why don’t you j-”

“I’m not fucking finished,” you cut him off, “If I hear you even so much as make one creepy comment towards any of these girls I promise you it will be the last thing you ever do. Got it?” You hadn’t realized you were getting closer to him as you spoke until you were right in his face. You never saw him look so afraid. It felt good.

“Got it,” he gulped.

“Great,” you flashed a mean-spirited smile, “Don’t even bother paying me for the shift tonight. I don’t need your money.” With that you left, feeling on top of the fucking world. You almost forgot about what Mika was out doing. Almost. 

Once the high of quitting wore off, you were practically running home. Had you not been so caught up in wanting to see Mika so badly, you may have thought more about how you were already referring to Mika’s place as “home” even though you haven’t even moved in. That didn’t matter right now, you just wanted to see his face.

You rushed into the apartment, nerves creeping in as you noted how quiet it was. You found Lias in the living room where you left him. Alone.

“They’re not back yet?” you asked, holding out hope Mika had slipped away to the bathroom.

“No, um, should be here soon,” Lias told you, though there was something off in his voice. He knew something he wasn’t telling you.

“Lias... did something happen?” Your heart was pounding your ears.

“It’s nothing really everything is-”

“Lias fucking tell me what happened,” you snapped. You couldn’t bare another moment in suspense. 

“There was a fight,” Lias relented, “Not Dimitri’s people, but they were attacked.” Before you could ask what he meant by that, the elevator doors lid open. Chris walked in with his arm around Mika, who was bleeding down his face from his forehead.

“Oh my god,” you gasped. You knew head wounds bled more than other wounds even if they weren’t that bad, but the amount of blood dripping down his face was startling. 

“It’s not as bad it looks,” Mika insisted. You rush over to him as Chris sat him down at on one of the stools in the kitchen.

“Seriously, you should see the other guy,” Chris added with a smirk, “Poor guy won’t be getting a date any time soon.” Mika and Chris had a laugh, as if Mika wasn’t still currently bleeding. You inspected the gash above his eyebrow, a little less than an inch long. You ran a finger over the skin around it and Mika winced.

“This is gonna need stitches,” you stated, getting a close a look as possible. It didn’t appear to go down to the bone, thank god.

“We can’t go to a hospital,” Mika told you, “Hospitals take names and ask questions.”

“Have you got a first aid kit?” you asked.

Chris nodded, “Should be a fully stocked one in the closet upstairs.”

“Grab it and bring it to the bathroom. Lias can you get some towels, please? Either dark ones or old ones. This will stain.” You held out your hand, which Mika took, but not without a quizzical look. You led him to the bathroom.

“Do you know how to do stitches?” Mika asked as you sat him down at the toilet. You turned on the tap, letting it run warm.

“I was studying to be a nurse before I left college,” you explained. By that time Lias had dropped off some black towels. You soaked one, gently removing the blood that had dripped down his neck.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Mika asked, eyeing you with wonderment. You were trying to focus on wiping the blood around to wound off without pulling it open more, but his eyes on you clouded your thoughts.

“Long division,” you joked, mostly for yourself. You needed to lighten the mood. Once you got enough of the blood off, you instructed Mika to press the towel against his head to prevent anymore from coming out. Just then, Chris brought in the first aid kit.

“Need any help in here?” he asked.

“No, thank you,” you replied, your eyes scanning the interior of kit. You were relieved that it had everything you needed. Chris said something you didn’t really catch as you pulled out the disinfectant. You poured it on to the gauze and handed it to Mika. “Put this over the cut. It’s gonna sting, but it’s gotta get clean.” 

Mika followed your instruction without question, though he did wince when the gauze touched his skin. “Jesus this hurt more than the actual cut.”

“Sorry,” you replied empathically. 

“Not your fault baby,” he replied, his free hand finding the back of your thigh and rubbing it lightly. You ignored how it made your stomach flip as you tried to thread the need. It took you three tries.

“Try to hold still,” you said quietly as you positioned yourself over him. Your hands were shaking slightly, it had been awhile since you had done this. After a deep breath you were able to proceed, and you were surprised how easily it came back to you. Mika was an amazing patient, only a few little twitches of a frown as the needle went through his skin and the sutures closed up the wound.

“All done,” you said, letting out the breath you didn’t realize you're holding. You took a step back to admire your work. You were surprised at how good they looked. 

Mika stood up and checked himself in the mirror. “Wow, you’re amazing, you know that right?” he marveled at you. It made your knees weak.

“You were the bravest patient I ever had,” you told him. He didn't need to know your only other patients included little kids at summer camps.

“Hope you don’t mind how they make me look,” Mika teased, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I think it suits you,” you replied. It was weirdly hot, in a way. “Plus, I’ve always loved a scar on a man.” You gently thumbed his forehead, just a few inches above the wound.

Mika’s eyes clouded over lightly. At first you couldn't quite place it, but when his lips found your neck you realized it was lust. “How can I repay you?” he asked in a tone that told you he already had an idea.

You slipped your hand under his jaw, making him look at you. You took a second to admire the look in his eyes, before whispering. “Like this.” Your lips were on his in an instant. You kissed each other hungrily. Your hands tangled through his hair while his found your ass. He gave you a slight squeeze and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around him. 

He was able to carry you effortlessly to his bedroom without ever losing contact with your lips. You fell into the clouds of his bed sheets gently, as Mika admired you from above. As much as his stare intoxicate you, you needed him. You reached up, pulling him on top of you.

Clothes feel off between kisses and gentle moans. Mika made it clear the other night that he was well-versed in foreplay activities, but right now you just wanted him. Nothing besides him inside you would satisfy the ache you felt between your legs.

Mika sensed this, reaching down to run his finger through you folds. He made sure you were wet enough for him and you were more than certain you were. Though when he removed the last of his clothes, there was a sliver of doubt in you. He was big, both long and thick.

“We’ll start slow,” Mika smirked, noting the look in your eye when you saw him. You didn’t have time to be embarrassed about being caught staring, he was already getting himself ready to push into you.

It didn't happen with you fistfuls of sheets and some gasps, but he managed to get himself all the way inside you. Mika was normally very composed, but you could see his willpower was crumbling as he felt your tightness around him.

Mika kept yo his word, moving slowing until you both adjusted to the feeling of the other. It didn’t take too long before he was able to move with more speed and strength. He felt unbelievably good inside you; you never felt so full in your life. His strokes were long but fast. It was the perfect mix of needy and passionate. He’d been thinking about this moment as long as you had.

Your orgasm approached surprisingly quickly. You clawed at Mika’s back, feeling the pleasure build to a near unbearable level.

“Fuck, Mika,” you gasped when you couldn’t hold on any longer. The sweet warm sensation of bliss filled you completely. You moaned into Mika’s neck as he kept going until he came along with you. The sounds he made were music to your ears.

Mika slowed up and let you both ride out the last few moments of your highs. He was panting lightly by the time he fell beside you on the bed. He had you in his arms within seconds.

“I guess neither of us understand the concept of slow,” you teased.

Mika chuckled, kissed the top of your head, “You get me. That’s why you’re my girl. Forever.”

[aedanstarfang]

Welcome to Morgyn’s Drag Race

I've been away from my blog for quite a while, working on a (stupid) project that has occupied my time. And like all defiantly proud persons, I needed to see through this project to the end...and I also had fun (kinda) working on it. So without further ado, here is the Blogspot premiere of Morgyn's Drag Race: Season One!

Having made its official premiere on August 30, 2020; Morgyn's Drag Race was originally just a fun side-project that blew up into a full size in going 'The Sims' mini series. Meet the Cast

Morgyn Ember

Hailing from the Magic Realm, hidden deep within Glimmerbrook; Morgyn is a non-binary sim though that does not make him ineligible from being one of the sickest drag queens in Sim Nation (look up the real world history of Drag; trans and NB persons were the pioneers of drag culture).

Morgyn introduces himself as the 'head judge' of the inaugural season of Drag Race, alongside his co-judges; Siobhan Fyres and Izzy Fabulous, truly a stylish and LGBTQIA+ inclusive judging panel.

Morgyn's critiques of the queens come from the heart and he laces every critique with a compliment, embracing and appreciating said queen's individuality while criticizing their work. Morgyn can be best described as an fair, constructive and sensitive judge, and unlike real world judge/critics such as Rupaul or Simon Cowell; Morgyn actually critiques the queen's runway rather than barking out trendy one-liners or simply discrediting a queen's work because 'he doesn't like it'.

Siobhan & Izzy make up the rest of the judging panel acting as the defacto Michelle Visage and Santino Rice respectively; though it's a little deeper than that. Siobhan Fyres is more like co-judge 'Stacey McKenzie' of Canada's Drag Race or former Drag Race judge 'Merle Ginsberg', often giving constructive criticism while not shying away from criticizing a queen's sloppiness or lack of runway presence.

Izzy could be compared to ex-Drag Race judge 'Santino Rice', though that comparison falls a little flat when you see that Izzy's personality is less sharp-tongued and 'mean girl'-esque and more blunt and impartial on similar lines as 'Simon Cowell' or 'Piers Morgan'. Izzy openly displays boredom or disinterest within the first few seconds of seeing a queen's runway, and is often chided by Morgyn for being too hasty.

The Pilot or first episode showed us Eliza Pancakes acting as Morgyn's second-in-command as a literal expy of drag race judge 'Michelle Visage', being very quick to dismiss a queen for being weird or different, criticizing a queen's look for not being 'trendy' or 'mainstream' enough and even going so far as taking offense with an Asian queen's pun-name.  She was fired by the second episode and instead blackmailed placed into a hosting position of 'What's In the Bag?', which is basically a Sims version of 'Whatcha Packin?' It's a humorous after show type of series that revolves around Eliza interviewing eliminated queens, all the while getting several jabs in at Morgyn, the producers, the company and of course shading the guest queen themselves.

The Contestants

Morgyn's Drag Race was announced on August of this year, which included a special series of 'Meet the Queens' videos focusing on all twelve of the competing queens. This season I am proud to say that it features a diverse range of queens ranging in size, nationality, gender identity and drag/performance style.

The initial twelve 'meet the queens' videos are still available to watch on my youtube channel, however they will soon be made irrelevant as newer, updated MTQ videos shall take their place - featuring a fluid, solid theme for the promo (which never got an official release oops!)

So without further ado, let's do further and get to know these twelve quirky queens shall we (in alphabetical order)? (*Note: That characters who are competing drag queens are referred to as 'her/she' and 'he/him' interchangeably via the rule of 'when a queen is in drag they are she, when they are out of drag they are he, there are of course expections).

Also, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Baga Trash

Sy Jefferies

AKA "

Baga Trash

" 34, is a well-known drag performer from Windenburg. Now I know what you're probably thinking; "he's an obvious parody of Baga Chipz" well no, not really. While Baga Trash IS a British queen (even if my impression is shite), he was inspired by several different characters and queens including but not limited to 'Tammie Brown' and 'Daphne Moon'. Baga aspires to become the world's top trash queen, and applauds 'trashion' as the style of the future. Interestingly enough, Baga Trash has little to no interest in ANY of the features from Eco Lifestyle, odd since dumpster diving is right up her ally.

Caliente

Nicholas Contreras

aka

"Caliente",

at 24 is one of the youngest competing queens this season right after Terra Ryzen. Caliente prides herself on her youth, beauty and bubbly personality and actively proclaims her "youthful vigor" to be the secret to success. Now what is "youthful vigor" you might ask? Youthful Vigor is the total tetratic composition of youth, attractiveness or beauty, personality and talent. With that mantra in mind, Caliente remains ever cheerful and confident throughout the competition.      Having originally been brought up on a large farm in Brindleton Bay, Caliente was no stranger to receiving the occasional odd glance from passersby as she gallivanted down main street in her pink designer miniskirts and halter tops, and to be honest she loved the attention more than anyone could know, this of course would boost her confidence into moving out to Newcrest where she would officially compete for the title of 'Morgyn's Magical Queen'.

Crow

Corbin Corvidae

AKA

"Crow"

30, is an adventurous and experienced queen hailing from Oasis Springs. As many would point out that Crow has glaringly obvious similarities to a certain

real life queen

and I will be 100% honest, yes Crow is an homage to many former Drag Race queens. Crow's personality I think is what sets her apart and standalone from other queens, both real life and fictitious. The most obvious similarities being Crow's seemingly bitter attitude towards the younger queens (particularly Caliente and Terra Ryzen), which plays into the same trope of "

this is a competition

" and "

blame the edit

". When starting Morgyn's Drag Race, we needed an antithesis to who we figured would be the standout protagonists of the season (being either Galaxia, Lapis or Caliente) and Crow fits that bill nicely.

Crow's moniker stems from her fascination with the color black, darkness, midnight and the very bird itself while the demeanor and overall look of her character is derived from her love of the 1990's film of the same name. Crow's experience and expertise with drag make her a force to be reckoned with, while her demure and sultry demeanor set her apart from the competition. Regardless of how you feel about Miss Crow, no one can deny that she serves some serious looks each time she hits the runway

Extra

Lance Proffitt

(pronounced 'Pro-feet') aka

"Extra"

29, is a professional

"background artist"

from Del Sol Valley, and no we're not talking about the actual profession of the

same name

we're talking about an

extra

, as in an uncredited background character in a film or series. Basically Extra is really talented at not being the lead character in movies or TV.  Extra's personality is kind of a composition of an egotistical and yet eerily self-aware celebrity. Extra doesn't NEED others to remind him that he's a star, because in his world he is already a star. He mentions in his initial "talking head" during Episode One/Pilot that he had background roles in such serials as;

"Touched by an Alien"

,

"Abducted for Real"

and

"The Great Awful Cook-off"

. He also noted in his

"What's In the Bag"

segment with Eliza Pancakes, that he is a musical queen and that his talent for the talent show challenge would have been a live rendition of his hit song;

"Boy is a Bear"

. This is a bit of a spoiler so I rupologize in advance, but even Extra's book title for episode six;

"Suck More"

must be a callback to a certain real world queen, right? Whatever the case, Extra's willing to put int the time so long as you're willing to pay the dime.

Fortuna Cookie

Shūfáng Shāncháhuā ('Shu' for short) aka "Fortuna Cookie" 25, is a young queen from Strangerville who's motto is undoubtedly "here to make it queer", has certainly came to the right show hasn't she? Shu started drag at a shockingly young age; 3, when she dressed up in her mom's clothes and makeup and impersonated 'Miss Piggy' to entertain her family, though they were more red-faced from secondhand-embarrassment than laughter.

  Cookie is a very artistic and personable queen, having done drag professionally since at least high school and performed at the 8-Bells in Strangerville since her university days at Britechester. She was taken in by her would be drag-mother, 'Mint Cookie' and quickly made friends with newfound family; 'Sugar Cookie', 'Fudge Cookie' and 'Samoa Cookie'. Shu's drag name had always just been 'Fortuna' (for luck) before being adopted by the Haus of Cookie, where she became "Fortuna Cookie".

Galaxia

Cosmo Nebulon AKA "Galaxia" 28, is quite possibly the most unique queen in this lineup; not only is she the only queen from Sixam, but also the very first 'Alien' contestant in the series history (but surely not to be the last). Galaxia moved to Del Sol Valley shortly before being cast on "Morgyn's Drag Race", because as he puts it the "drag scene on Sixam is boring!" Self-described 'Xenomorph Queen' Galaxia certainly has a lot in common with real life queens such as 'Alaska' and 'Pandora Boxx', though I think Galaxia's uniqueness in both style and personality make him standout from the crowd, that and he's "a fucking alien!" 

For everyone who's seen the initial airing of the pilot will know that Galaxia is here to bring it on a galactic level, having aced the "Trash to Treasure" challenge seemingly flawlessly (though editing does play a part in EVERY reality series) and unanimously impressed the judging panel, even stone-cold bitch Eliza Pancakes. Spoilers ahead for recently dropped Episode 5; Snatch Game saw Galaxia in the bottom for the first time, but little did her competition know that she was no slouch because she TURNED. IT. OUT! Not one, not two, but three reveals during the lipsync - I COULD NOT, BELIEVE IT (and I'm the one who created everything)"! Clearly Galaxia is not playing around and takes the competition VERY seriously, going so far as to plan ahead for a possible lipsync for your life with three reveals to boot, it's curious what else she had planned up her sleeve for the previous runways and if she had similar reveals planned.

Icy

Myron Frost AKA "Icy" 27, of Willow Creek came to the competition pulling no punches and dressing to impress from the get-go. Icy began drag during her teen years, and started performing professionally during college. Aside from being the series' first black queen to walk through those doors, Icy also brought her own sense of style and class to the initial competition. Professionalism, style, and class are all words synonymous with Icy; a queen who carries herself as though she has already won (because let's be honest, you NEED a fiery attitude in order to get ahead in these sorts of contests). Though behind the confident and stunning exterior, belies a person who detests drama of any sort, and can be seen at any time an argument erupts - Icy is sure to stay out of the line of sight.

When I think of Icy, I think of former Drag Race queens who carried a similar air of confidence, professionalism and style such as Chad Michaels and Jaida Essence Hall, though honestly Icy is as much her own identity as anyone else, and the aforementioned queens merely served as inspiration, vocal fry and all.

Jackqleen Qkwueeen

Jackson King AKA "Jackqleen Qkwueeen" 37, is Magnolia Promenade's premiere expert in classical theater and the bardic arts. And I'm not going to start this article off with a lie, when I conceptualized Jackqleen I had originally envisioned a different kind of queen entirely which can be seen in her original 'Meet the Queens' video, which if I'm being honest, pretty much all of the queens had different personalities and quirks that differ from their current/later personas. Jackqleen was originally supposed to be a faux Shakespearean expert who would occasionally slip into talking with her rural dialect or twang, which I disliked for a multitude of reasons and decided that making Jackqleen a legitimate, classically trained thespian of Magnolia Promenade, was more interesting. And to make her standout vocally and personality-wise, I just kept picturing Frasier Crane. 

Despite having fallen into the bottom two the first episode, and let's be honest that "Trash to Treasure" challenge was not tailored to make everyone look good, which in Jackqleen's case made her look worse than Velvetta Baggins, whom was described as someone having walked out of a day spa. We can't deny that Jackqleen has a refined and sophisticated outlook to drag, and that being a professional theater actor can only help propel her career as a drag artist

Lapis

Bleau Rathbone AKA "Lapis" 31, is one of San Myshuno's most eclectic, eccentric and unique artists. Having performed drag since his nineteenth birthday; Bleau introduced himself in drag to the world of performance art for the first time and then and there 'Lapis' was born (*Note: Lapis prefers to be referred to as 'they/them', but only when in full drag). Lapis' namesake stems from the gemstone itself 'lapis lazuli', the fact that it is mostly blue and their love for the color blue, taking all of these facets into consideration it's not hard to see why Lapis incorporates everything into their drag.

If you've been watching 'Morgyn's Drag Race' since Episode One, then you're already familiar with just how iconic a queen that Lapis is, having served looks since Episode One with the upcoming Episode 7 and 8 possibly being their strongest serves yet. Lapis believes in and identifies with the individual, priding themselves with being as unique and as standout as possible all while continuing to stay on-brand with the Lapis name (everything blue, black, eclectic and electric).

Parsley

Parsley 32, is quite possibly the single-most polarizing figure from 'Morgyn's Drag Race'. Hailing from Evergreen Harbor, Parsley describes herself as being "lean, green and mean" and the "green meanie". The second she steps through the entryway she insults her competition by calling them all "douchebags" (originally calling them "motherfuckers"), and also easily dismisses them as being 'basic', 'boring' and 'not impressive'. With a raspy growly voice that would give Patty & Selma a run for their money. 

Parsley was inundated into the world of drag years back when she lived in San Myshuno and roomed with a popular Drag Queen named 'Darren Leek', who at the time was also her roommate. Darren welcomed Parsley into the Leek family of drag, becoming her drag-mother in the process. Though Parsley stood out from the crowd, having picked a green theme and sticking to it, she polarized a large majority of folks she came into contact with, many finding her to be rude while others found her to be downright terrifying. Parsley's own drag-mother, Darren Leek cut ties with her because of her behavior, and quite possibly out of fear.

Terra Ryzen

Scotch Golddig

AKA

"Terra Ryzen"

22, is another queen hailing from Strangerville and is also the youngest competing queen in the competition to date. Some who have browsed the Sims reddit may remember Scotch making a few appearances

pre-drag race

as "

Florida Man

", a member of the infamous "Golddig" clan; a family of reputed 'gold-diggers' who are always looking for their next claim. His grandmother, 'Dusty Bones' made occasional appearances on reddit as a burnt-out version of '

Matilda the Chef

'.

Terra enters the competition as the youngest queen and also the most inexperienced, asking the more experienced queens for help with her makeup and nails shortly after making her entrance. Terra is almost immediately denigrated by her older, more experiences co-competitors as being "busted" and looking a "mess", though despite all that Terra manages to maintain a confidence bordering on cockiness that she will succeed and in fact win the competition, though anyone having seen the first episode will know Terra's ultimate fate.

Velvetta Baggins

Wilberforce Armitage XVII AKA "Velvetta Baggins", is an oldschool queen from Windenburg. She speaks with a High-British or a classically 'posh British' accent, and frequently bemoans about all of the times that the French ave supposedly terrorized her and her comrades while on active duty during the war, which war you ask? She can't remember, though it was likely sometime during the ice age as woolly mammoths and spear-throwing cavemen were involved. The running gag involving Velvetta is that she is old, like really very old. In truth she is probably somewhere around 50-55 years old, however Caliente refers to Velvetta as being "90" in her talking head and Terra Ryzen speculates that she is from the Mesozoic era, basically Velvetta is the oldest queen of the season which makes her target for everyone else. A pianist classically trained in the styles of baroque, Velvetta has entertained audiences for generations and continues to do so using her oldschool style, while fellow Windenburg queen Baga Trash utilizes modern pop culture and of course 'rubbish' to entertain audiences. What's interesting about fellow Windenburg Queens; Velvetta and Baga Trash is that they are both so intrinsically different, despite hailing from the same place. It can be argued that since Velvetta has been performing drag at a time since before Baga Trash, that the two styles will naturally be different.

I think the truth of the matter is that Velvetta is just another quirky, cooky queen with a bizarre sense of humor and a unique self-styled sense of fashion, not unlike Tammie Brown. The constant callbacks to the wartime tactics and the French are either a clever joke in the guise of obfuscating reality or she actually is senile and is suffering from false memories, either way Velvetta certainly is an interesting queen to have on the stage.

So now that you've gotten to know our judges, and all twelve contestants on a more personal level, maybe you will remember to set that timer to watch 'Morgyn's Drag Race' this Sunday, at 12:45 PM Pacific Standard Time.

[lordjohntheshow]

John Grey and his boyfriend Stephan Namzten have a great life (and now three dogs) and are considering taking the next big step: marriage and children. Complications arise. This is a Modern AU set in 2019. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 

VANITY FAIR, November 2017

A FAMILY AFFAIR

An excerpt from the actor’s forthcoming memoir WILD NIGHTS chronicling his early years growing up to his days as a struggling actor. In anticipation of the Royal Wedding enjoy his take on a wedding among Britain’s upper crust.

By: Percy Wainwright

Imagine my surprise when my stepfather George invited me to his third wedding, in London. He wanted me there with him as he took on his new life and invited me out for the “whole season”. I took one look around my tiny, non air conditioned studio apartment in the Valley and knew I had no other choice. Within 24 hours I was touching down in Heathrow. I wondered a little about why George invited me, but in a small way it made sense: he had no real family himself and didn’t want to feel left out. He let me have the use of his apartment- or “flat” as I learned to call it, having already moved in with his bride to be.

 I then did what any self-respecting 22 year old with a large, empty apartment, an allowance, and too much free time would do. I went clubbing. That’s how I first met Kay*. It was sometime past midnight, and the DJ was trying out some experimental trance pop. I saw him before he saw me. He was small, but he didn’t have that obnoxious edge some short men get. Cute blonde hair a shade most boys grow out of. Muscular, but the white shirt and jeans he wore showed he didn’t really care about his appearance. He glided through the crowd, disappearing in the back room for a moment. I lost track of him until I saw him cut through the dance floor to leave. On a whim, I grabbed his hand and kissed it. He looked up at me and laughed, crinkling a pair of baby blues that would have made Paul Newman jealous. I pulled him to me, like he was water in the desert. The music was too loud to have a coherent conversation, but neither of us wanted one. 

After three or so songs (who can really tell with electronica?) he was pressing me up against the wall outside the bathroom, kissing my lips, my neck, as if he wanted to swallow me whole. In fifteen or so minutes we were in my flat and I was flat on my back. When I woke up the next morning alone in that big bed, I actually laughed- I’m usually the one that leaves them high and dry.

I still went clubbing, but I didn’t see my blonde boy again. Four weeks before the wedding George invited me out to a dinner with the family. “They’re gentry, you know. You don’t have to bow or anything, but do you know the proper forms of address?” He’d asked me nervously, in the taxi on the way over. “Um.. milord and milady?” I’d said, trying to remember what I’d learned from my days of getting high and watching Downton Abbey. He sighed. “They’ll just think you’re an uncouth American, it will be fine.” He’d huffed in reply. It was cute, to see him so nervous to make a good impression.

How to describe the family. Everyone looked like one of those paparazzi pictures of the royal family on their time off: trying to look normal in jeans and a sweater but the outfit still cost 700 pounds. I suppose I’m not one to talk though, my style’s always been very Gucci via Goodwill.

My new stepmother’s flat also had that rich, lived in feel. There was a couch from 1972 next to what I’m fairly sure was a pair of original Chippendale settee chairs. Every flat surface or shelf was covered by books: leather bound ones in the library and slick, glossy ones in all of the real living areas. Yes, you read that right: this was an apartment. With a library.

We all sat down to drinks in the living room. I chose one of the Chippendales, of course. An actual butler took my drink order. Once everyone was arrayed and properly lubricated, the true conversation began. The son who was obviously serving as Head of the Family grilled me and George about our jobs, hobbies, acquaintances, and was probably about to start on what petty misdemeanors we’d committed when his wife patted his arm and started a real conversation instead of a background check. It was boring, but I was surprised to find I was enjoying myself. Mostly I was enjoying what I am dead certain were a pair of original Degas’ ballerina studies.

Nearly an hour in I was shocked out of my art appreciation when my own tiny dancer walked in. He was out of breath, dressed for work (a boring navy suit, so a professional of some type, I noted), and apologizing profusely, to his mother, his soon to be stepfather, his annoyed brother, and then his gaze fell on me. I’ll say this about him: I’d never want to play poker against him. There’s not a man alive better at controlling his face. For a moment I was certain he didn’t remember me (I mean, I was in a clean cut Oxford, not the neon green mesh tank he’d last seen me in.)

“Hello. You must be Percy. I’m Kay.” He said, warmly, holding out his hand for me to shake. The look he gave me, and only me, had so much heat I thought I was back in L.A.

He sat across from me when we moved to dinner, and chatted politely. I was annoyed to find someone so handsome was also smart, and funny, and kind, especially to his mother and my stepfather. Yet, when he raised his brows to me at the end of dinner- a challenge, and invitation- I was all mush.

The next four weeks went by quickly- too quickly. All the pomp and nonsense of what American hetero weddings have become pales in comparison to An English Society Wedding. There were morning suit fittings, tux fittings, and even normal suit fittings, to make sure I wouldn’t be looked at some poor American cousin. Forget a bridal shower at some swanky country club. There were at least three engagement parties, a trip to the Queen Anne Enclosure of the Royal Ascot (requiring another suit), and multiple days involving skiffs, yachts, polo ponies, and cricket. I was game: it was like being stuck in some specialty park at Disneyworld, and I love to learn the rules so I can break them. Here were a few I discovered:

              -You can’t ask people where they go on vacation. You ask them where they summer, or winter, or, for the younger, sportier ones, where they ski.

              -An American accent threw them, especially when I turned on the Southern drawl I usually kept safely packed away. If I wasn’t from Newport, or Vail, or New York, I was no one of importance.

              -No one ever discussed money, but every conversation was about it: where children were going to school, what new homes or paintings were being purchased, who had just closed what deal.

              -And unlike in L.A., where everyone bedecked themselves in the latest runway looks, here you often learned the richest people also had the oldest clothes. The Princess Royal attended one of these parties in a dress she’d had since 1983. I know the year because I asked her.

By the time the wedding rolled around, part of me was ready to go back to the plastic sheen and bounce of Los Angeles. Other parts of me, like my heart, wanted to stay in this weird world forever, because it’s where Kay was. If this world was a weird Disneyworld, than I was its Cinderella. I’d been scraping things together for so long, spent so many nights wondering where the money was going to come from, how I was going to eat, I cannot explain the relief of having that disappear. Of having someone ready to pick up the check like nothing- and unlike a lot of the men I’d slept with, not expecting a quid pro quo.

Kay and I spent a few weeks before we even had sex again- he was busy, and I was being pulled along to every wedding event anyone could possibly imagine. It’s the stolen moments I remember the most. The way his breath hitched when he saw me partially undressed during our tux fitting. How he always made sure I had what I wanted to drink, no matter the party we were at. When his hand brushed mine and we hooked our pinkies together, walking down this hallway or that. And the night we were finally together again: breathing our secrets together in the dark.

I told him I loved him. I didn’t actually say “I love you”, I’m not an idiot. I told him “I’ve never felt this close to someone,” and that “I’ve told you things… I’ve never told anyone before” and “I know this must sound strange.” He soaked it up, and looked at me, those blue eyes full of affection, rubbed my arm. “I care deeply for you, Percy. My heart… I think someone else has that. I can give you everything else.” He said it like he’d pried it out of himself… carefully and painfully.

I wish everything had been enough for me.

The summer swept along, and suddenly it was the day I’d come for all along: the wedding. It was held in a quaint village in a “small, country chapel” that sat the two hundred guests with ease. The interior looked like a florist’s shop the night before Mother’s Day. (Kay’s big brother had to take at least three puffs from his inhaler and everyone had to pretend they didn’t notice it happening.) All the women were arrayed in pastels, or florals, most looking ten years older than they actually were in the severe, pinned up styles the occasion demanded. One of the coach horses ate the fascinator Kay’s girl cousin had talked about incessantly over the summer. But seeing my stepfather trip over his words, bursting with happiness at his new life and new wife was truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. In short, it was a perfect family wedding.

And then it was over. They were off on their honeymoon, backpacking in East Asia as if they were 22 and not 62. I’d seen my stepfather off. I knew he would always be part of my life, but that I wasn’t meant to live in his. I finally understood why they call it a flat: that’s all I felt walking around that apartment.

I wanted Kay to say: “I love you. Move in with me. Marry me, when it’s finally legal.” He didn’t. He was still caring, and attentive, and sweet, but we never talked about love or a future. Maybe that’s why I invited the Swede back to the flat on the last night before I left. Why I forgot that Kay was coming over to cook me a farewell dinner. Why I didn’t lock the door.

Turns out, he’s not as good as a poker player as I’d thought. I saw it all. Shock, dismay, pain, but never the anger. He left, never saying a word.

It wasn’t until the next day, somewhere 10,000 feet above Chicago, my suitcase full of a bunch of fancy clothes I’d wear only to auditions that I realized he always got quiet when he was angry.

*names, dates, and details have been altered to protect the innocent

[im-gonna-liveforever]

ITS HECKIN TWISTED APPRECIATION WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (part 1/2)

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I’M GONNA YELL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK LIKE I DID LAST WEEK BC TWISTED IS A GOOD HECKING MUSICAL WITH A GOOD HECKING SOUNDTRACK

(Now with favorite lines! bc why not, right?) (favorite lines either there bc I like the lyrics in that part or I really like how it sounds within the song)

I’m not a professional music person (I’ve been in band for several years and I’m pretty good, but I don’t know anything about music theory or anything abt singing) but AH WELL, I LIKE RANTING ABT MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND THE INTERNET IS A GOOD PLACE TO FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, SO HERE WE GO

(also there’s definitely going to be Twisted spoilers under the cut (for act one, at least), so watch out if you haven't seen it)

(also also I split this into two parts bc it’s getting late and as you can see by how this progresses, I got sleep deprived quickly plus it got way too long. This is part one with all the first act songs, part two will have the second act songs and should be up by tomorrow.)

OK THE OPENING NUMBER RIGHT?? THE INSTRUMENTALS?? THE HARMONIES??? THE GENERAL SAJKFDASJKFHDSJK???!?!? Like, it literally sounds like a Disney song but they cuss! It’s amazing!! (And all the citizens?? Comedy gold, every one of them, I swear) (AND THE FUCKINGJDSJKJDSKL SOPRANO PART???!? I’M C R Y I N G I FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SINGER THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE)

Favorite lines: 

“May the Rats ejaculate upon you!” “Thank you, thank you very much!”

“Why is everyone in the kingdom white?” “Uhh... Jafar?” 

“But ugliness permits a man to use his wits, ‘cause pretty people never have to try”

“UGLY OLD JAFAR!!”

pretty much  the whole song past the line “Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?”

Specifically “I want to be a cat!” “Wha-” “FUCK YOU!”

But more specially “Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a star!!!!” bc OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Everyone listing how they want Jafar to die

ALSO SPECIALLY THE LAST 30 SECONDS BC AHJSAHJKADS (everything at and past the lines “and if we dream a little harder/ our patience and our honor...” etc.)

OK I STEAL EVERYTHING TIME! ULTIMATE CHAOS SONG, AND I LOVE. BE THE EVIL GREMLIN YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Also: the jazziness?? the opening instrumentals??? it’s so good. To the people playing the instrumentals for this musical: ,,,thank you,,,.,. (Also I learned recently that most of Jeff’s songs are in my range so guess who’s gonna try and learn this song?)

Favorite lines:

“Fetch, ya fucks!”

Did I mention the instrumentals?? bc hfhhhjdklsajk They seem simple but they’re also going ham and I love it

“Monkey thought we should just kill you, but I said ‘No, monkey, that’s crazy’ but now I’m thinking, yeah, no more fucking raisins...’“

“Thanks but no, thanks, ‘The Man’“

Honestly every line in this is golden, but I can’t put them all in and that sucks

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught!” “Aladdin?” “I’m in trouble!”

“Just one question, why, man?” “’Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!” “That’s completely fair, but, in my defense, dude, your daughter’s hot!”

EVERYTHING AND MOOREE!!! SHE WANTS IT ALL AND I’M CRYING BC SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WHILE DOING SO. (I just realized that there’s 14 songs on this soundtrack and I’m sorry in advance for how long this post A) already is and B) is going to get) This song is so dramatic and that somehow fits the mood of her character and I love it so much and just ahdshjkds. Also it’s just?? So pretty????

Favorite lines:

“But it’s just like, whatever”

“I just want to be free so badly! You slaves could never understand. :(”

“You’re probably thinking, she’s got everything. Well, it’s true, ‘cause I do, but so the fuck what?”

“I WANT THE MOON! I WANT TO LIVE ON THE MOON! And eat it in a pie! And keep it as a pet! and wear it like a gemstone in my hair!”

“As I laugh in their faces of moonbeam pie!!”

“It’s enough to make me with I were lowly and poor... But like... with money!”

THA GOLDEN FUCJKLCIODIGN RULE. LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. AND THE DANCING THEY DO WITH IT IN THE SHOW ITSELF??? IT’S THE BEST. THE FIUCUING BEST. I’M CRYING. THE DANCING IS SO  GOOD. AND SO IS THIS SONG. Also, it’s the #1 Starkid song I’d be comfortable showing to my mom, which is a definite plus! (I could also show this to my church pastor and he’d?? definitely like it, so that’s also a definite plus) And everyone’s so nice to Jafar, espically compared to the opening number and it just makes me so sad and let me give Jafar a hug, goddammit. ALSO also please let me meet the saxophone player and shake his hand, I don’t play saxophone but what he’s doing here is amazing. WAIT ALSO ALSO ALSO MAY I MEET THAT FLUTE PLAYER BC I’M JUST NOW HEARING THE FLUTE (AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE IT BEFORE, I PLAY THAT INSTRUMENT???) AND I’M FUCJKIGDFONG HOLY SHIT JSUT FUCKINGJDSJKL ;BOUNCE AROUND ON THOSE NOTES WHY DON’T YOU I’M SAJDSKCDSJS

Favorite lines:

“Why it’s as easy as a 1,2,3,4!”

“Always treat others like sisters and brothers!” 

all of the lines just sound so good, I can’t choose 

The way Dylan Saunders says “Man” that that first time, like holy shit

The whole conversation between Omar and the thief

[completely monotone] “My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.”

AND THEN OMAR AND THE THIEF SING THE PART AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD

The “boop boop bop doop zeep do-wow!” in the background during that part

“Good luck Jafar! And! Re! Mem! Ber!”

And then the whole ensemble sings it and it sounds so good

oh good god we’re not even 5 songs in yet i’m so sorry 

GOLDEN RULE: EVIL REPRISE, OR, AS I CALL IT, “GOLDEN RULE WENT EMO BUT I STILL LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM”. Those dissonant sounds at the beginning? beautiful. All the random evil laughter? amazing. Whatever the heck the saxophonist is doing at the end? breathtaking, give me more. Joe Walker’s voice?? just fucking dhdsfjkfdlashjdsfklhfdsjkl

Favorite lines:

“Lets him rule the land WITH an iron fist!”

“The prize for winning? MORE GOLD, HAHA! And the game begins again!”

[sarcastically] “’Follow the golden rule’? Boy don’t be such a fool!”

“Follow the gold! Follow the gold! Follow the gold!” “AND RUUULE!!”

DID I MENTION THAT FUCKING SAXOPHONE PLAYER BC DUDE FUCKING AHSDJKDFS

the final “And Rule!”

Don’t be fooled bc this one is so short, it’s nearing midnight for me and also this song is really short. In reality, I fucking love this song and it’s one of my absolute favorite starkid villain songs and also one of my absolute favorites from this musical.

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS IS SOME FUCKINGNDSKLJ; GOOD SHIT I’M. Also, I don’t listen to it enough, so I’m giving y’all a running commentary as I listen to it for the first time outside of watching the whole musical 1) I love accidentals and key changes, and i’m,,, crying just the first verse is so good already, why haven’t I listened to this song enough 2) I’M CRYING I WANT TO KNOW THEIR STORY TOO THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS I’M CRYINGHJFDSJKSD 3) they keep using the word “’twist” and i’m ahsdhjkds bro 4) DYLAN YOUR VOICE. YOUR VOICE, IT’S TOO GOOD. IT MUST BE STOPPED, YOU’RE TOO GOOD, DYLAN 5) “LINGER OVER EVERY PART” OH MAN IT SOUDNS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. AHHHHHHDSHJDSFKLHJK 6) OK I’M LIKE ACTUALLY CRYINGN NOW THEY’RE IN LOVE. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. OH  GOD OH FUCK 7) AND THEY SOUND SO GOOD, TOO, WHY HAVEN’T I LISTENED TO THIS SONG ENOUGH AHDHJKLDAS

OK I haven’t listened to this song enough to have favorite lines just yet, also I want to at least get to the end of the first act before I go to bed and it’s already midnight rn, so we’re going ahead and moving on (so sorry!)

IF I BE-FUCKIN-LIEVED. OH GOD. THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE FLUTE, THE WORDS, THE SINGING LIKE GODDAMN. This one is also kinda within my range so I’m also trying to learn to sing it bc it’s just that good (cons of being a contralto: you get no female songs in musicals, pros of being a contralto: you get all the cool higher tenor songs) The raw emotion in his voice??? I’m crying??? The strength and soul and beauty and just ashjdskl;jdsfkl; it’s so, so beautifully and wonderfully amazing

Favorite lines:

“Science says you’re dead and gone forever! Reason says I’m talking to the air! But something in my heart, some secret, hidden part, illogically insists that you are there! Somewhere!!”

“Perhaps it’s not too late, to change the course of fate?”

“‘Cause after all, I must be pretty great... if you believed in me...”

Again this song is really short and there’s not a lot of lines to choose from and also I love them all and dfhjskdskjl this is just such a good song

I’m still crying

ORPHANED AT 33!!! [insert Peggle 2 gif] CHAOS... T W O!!!! HE’S MR ORPHAN, AKA CHAOS MAN (NOW WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER!) (I’m also trying to learn this one bc let me splurge in trying to teach myself Twisted songs, ok?) He’s being tragic and over-dramatic and it’s a beautiful song! and I also love how in the studio version, he doesn’t mention that they died earlier that year, so it almost comes as a shock when he says “when I was orphaned at... thirty-three” and it just makes the song that much funnier, trust me

Favorite lines:

I know I said this abt most of the other songs up to this point, but can I say all the lines? because all the lines

“[My parents are] dead... that makes me an orphan :’(”

“‘Cause my story’s just too saaad!”

“They call me a jerk off! a burn-out! A punk! But I can’t let that stuff in my head!”

“All things considered, I think I turned out pretty good! I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started s t e a l i n g  a l l  I  c o u l d!”

”I’ll make it through somehow, despite being so sadly and crushingly all alone...”

“I’ll BREAK THE CHAIN!! YOU’LL SEE!!! I’M GONNA L I V E  F O R E V E R!!!!1!111!”

The last “thirty-three” bc Jeff oh my god what is that voice

HAPPY ENDING TIME, HECK YEAH!!!!! THIS SONG,,,, SO, SO GOOD, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR SONGS WITH MORE THAN ONE PART THAT ALL END TOGETHER IN A HARMONY. THAT IS PEAK MUSICIANSHIP AND JUSTHSDHJFKSAD Also someone pointed this out to me, but the way to goes from Aladdin’s weirdly horny lines straight to the princess going “oh Aladdin, you poor, innocent soul :(” is just the funniest thing to me. And how it calls back to thier own solos, I’m???!? OH AND INSTRUMENTALS AGAIN. THE BAND FUCKING KILLED IT WITH THIS MUSICAL, IT’S SO, SO GOOD JUST AHDSJKLAKKFAnd the energy in it?? The excitement for the next act??? I’m pumped!! Are you pumped?? WELL GET READY BC YOU WILL BE

Favorite lines:

Yet a-fucking-gain I love every goshdarn line in this song, it’s just too good

“They’ll throw a parade in my honor, with peacocks and monkeys galore!”

“The people will cheer!” [cool guitar bit]

[Jafar’s relatively calm part ends] [electric guitar starts back up and Aladdin jumps on stage] “I CaN’T wAiT tO bE A RicH DUdE!!!11!1!″

“Stealing is so much easier when you’ve already got tons of gold!”

“I’ve got my eye! On what money can’t buy! ‘cause that princess is OH! Hella tight! I’ll be the one who plunders her cave of wonders! I’ll get my happy ending tonight!”

“My innocent Aladdin!”

Yes i’m fully aware I put pretty much Aladdin’s full part in there, stop judging me, it’s a good part

“It puts a damper on our love if you don’t have a head” 

“So with with your permission, I’d like to bring back your bride!”

just. Jafar’s whole fantasy where he’s happy with his wife. I’m crying again, please just let him be happy

THE ENDING PART WHERE THEY ALL START UP AND BRING UP THIER OWN HOPES FOR THAT NIGHT AND THEY SING THE FINAL”TONIGHT!!!” ALL TOGETHER AND THEN THERE’S THAT COOL LITTLE 2 SECOND INSTRUMENTAL BIT AT THE VERY END IT’S JUST,.,, SO GOOD I’M DSJHDASHJKSDJK

Ok yeah that’s the end of the first act of songs! I should have the next part up by tomorrow, so get ready for more capslock and keysmashes and me generally being excited abt music bc MUSIC HECK YEAH DFFHADSJKHDAS

[astarion-dekarios]

I was tagged by @erinaconyx, thanks! 

Rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people (but that is way too many, I don’t know why these memes always want you to tag a billion people) This is going to be long and overshare-y so it’s under a cut.

the last:

1. drink: hot chocolate

2. phone call: my mom (lol)

3. text message: ...also my mom, telling me what she wanted to get for lunch

4. song: “Would You be so Kind?” by dodie

5. time you cried: I had a breakdown like a couple weeks ago and I think I haven’t cried since then

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: Like, broke up with someone and then dated them again? No.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yyyyyep (first kiss)

8. been cheated on: No

9. lost someone special: Yeah ofc

10. been depressed: All the time

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ...Yes. And then never touched alcohol since.

favorite colors:

12. Teal!

13. Sunset Orange

14. Forest Green

15. Not sure of the “official color name” for this one but I call it Winter Blue

16. ...Probably black tbh? Not by itself but it works super well for contrast with everything

in the last year have you:

17. laughed until you cried: Yes, although I can’t remember the specific incident

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes! I found out that I have a Reputation at the place I used to work (and that reputation is as some kind of intensely cool person, which was surprising but pleasant)

19. met someone who changed you: Maybe Jules aka @erinaconyx

20. found out who your friends are: I think I already knew who My Friends are but I have made a few new and radical friends this year!

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: No.

22. made friends: Yes, see above.

23. fallen out of love: Quite The Opposite

general:

25. what did you do for your last birthday: @amelancholycharm took me to a good sushi place for lunch and showed me her Dreamschool that she works at now and in fact it was lovely, and also gave me a red velvet cake. And also @shellcollector sent me a very nice Birthday Package which I had to track down but did in fact receive on the day and it made me intensely happy.

26. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. But I have less than 200 people in my friends list.

27. do you have any pets: Yes! Or at least I live with a cat, a dog and two rats even if they are not My pets.

28. what time did you wake up: 8:00

29. what were you doing at midnight last night: Staying up too late and being irresponsible because I don’t know what to do with my free time when I have a lot of it I guess (and also maybe because my hormones could be out of whack somewhat)

30. name something you can’t wait for: Spending Christmas with my partner in London <3

31: what are you listening to right now: Background music from Stardew Valley, I guess

32: have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, my great-uncle is named Tom.

33: something that’s getting on your nerves: People being Wrong About Politics. Specifically, blaming either illegal immigrants or “lazy white people” for the fact that business owners, seeking profit above all else, exploit undocumented immigrants knowingly and willingly so as to avoid paying a living wage or having conditions that aren’t horrific.

34. do you want to change your name: Already have done! Not opposed to shedding the last name either long-term.

35. hair color: Brown

36. long or short hair: Short but I am growing it out Longer And Curlier(tm)

37. piercings: No & never

38. tattoos: Same as above

39. blood type: O+

40. nicknames: L, mostly. E, sometimes. [angel emoji] if you are in the slacksquad.

41. relationship status: In a committed relationship

42. zodiac: Cancer, but I don’t really do the astrology thing. I like assigning categories to people but not vice versa.

43. pronouns: He/him, have never minded “they”

44. most visited website: Google thinks that it is tumblr and is probably not wrong

45. right or left handed: Right

46. surgeries: Have had 4 wisdom teeth removed (at once)

47. sports: I don’t really do sports these days but when I was a kid I was pretty pro at horesback riding and I enjoyed badminton and I was forced to play football but never enjoyed it. If I were to get into a sport now it would probably be archery. 

48. favorite tv show: Uhhhhhhhhh it might be Bojack Horseman which is not great. ETA: I like watching this show a lot because it helps me when I am feeling self-destructive but my actually Favorite show is probably something more hopeful and good like The Mill.

49. vacations: Like, favorite vacations? Or... vacations in general? Or vacations that I would like to go to? The time Slacksquad met up in Paris was pretty incredible. I would like to visit Rome someday before I die. I have been going to London a fair bit and this is also excellent and an excellent city.

50. sneakers: I don’t know what this means, I don’t think this is a question.

more general:

52. eating: ??? Again, not really a question. I guess this is supposed to be me Expounding on the nature of Eating in my life so here goes: I have sensory issues so I prefer blandish food, if something is in the food that Tastes Strongly it will probably bother me a lot, I also have issues with some textures including most raw vegetables. And, like, I generally don’t eat a lot of things that require Effort to make them because I’m profoundly depressed and incapable of spending a lot of effort making food. So, that’s not great. 

Uh. I like spaghettieis.

53. fave drink: Water

54. what you’re up to: Mostly not doing the things I am supposed to be doing, but on the other hand today I have showered and done laundry and gone outside and several other things I had not done in half a week.

55. waiting for: I guess for T to Do A Thing, also for me to do cool stuff in University and also to see my partner again in December

56. want: Me to get my shit together like tomorrow preferably and do my coursework

57. get married: It is a thing that I can imagine happening in a few years

58. career: I’d like to work in a museum! Or do cool stuff wrt French history like maybe making English-language historical media about the French Revolution exist and not be terrible.

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: They are both good when done correctly but hugs are vastly safer and more comfortable.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes

62. shorter or taller: I personally would rather be an inch or so taller so that I would be exactly 5′7′’. But other than that this question is meaningless to me.

63. older or younger: It is at this point that I’m beginning to question the nature of this question and what ‘betterness’ means. I guess I’d prefer to be younger because it means I’d have less physical health problems, I assume. But that’s like, younger relative to a certain value. Younger than I am now? No. I already look about 14. So I guess I’d prefer to be older in that sense. 

64. nice arms or stomach: This is not a thing I have a mental category for. Unless we’re talking about working out? I mean I guess I’d rather have a nice stomach than Nice Arms. 

65. hook up or relationship: I question anybody actually Preferring a hookup to a relationship in like a long-term sense, like I get not wanting a relationship at A Particular Moment but. But then I am asexual so that is a factor.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Do not know what this means, really. I’d prefer to be a troublemaker than hesitant I guess in the sense of like “Being actively disruptive to a society that I find appalling”.

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: No.

68. drank hard liquor: Yes. 

69. lost glasses/contacts: Who wears glasses and has not lost them?

70. turned someone down: More times than I would prefer

71. sex on the first date: No

72. broken someone’s heart: This is like a weird question to me but I’ve been told that this is the case so I guess so

73. had your heart broken: No

74. been arrested: No 

75. cried when someone died: Yes but that someone was my dog

76. fallen for a friend: Yes but I wouldn’t ordinarily describe it that way

do you believe in:

77. yourself: Generally

78. miracles: Not like divinely-created miracles but maybe in some more abstract sense

79. love at first sight: No, more like “Why would you ever date someone unless you’ve already known them for a year+ and love them as your soulmate in a Romantic Friendship kind of way and also as it turns out in other ways”

80. santa claus: Is this like an abstract question about the Spirit of Christmas? 

81. kiss on the first date: I’m not sure if this is a thing that one can “believe” in existing, like, it is a thing that does happen, not a matter of faith. It is not a thing that I would want to do ever but I think that’s a different question.

82. angels: No(t literally). I appreciate them in a Fictional Lore kind of sense.

other:

83. current best friend’s name(s): I’m not going to break opsec to answer this question but you know who you are, Best Friends

84. eye color: Blue

85. favorite movie: The Iron Giant. 

I feel weird about tagging other people on this one because it’s Really Long and Overshare-y but uh, @shellcollector @undividedcosmia @revolutionarypoodle @spacestationtrustfund @bobcatmoran

Maybe you guys want to do this thing. I will not be offended whatsoever if you do not.

[quickchangeartist]

92 Questions Tag

Tagged by: @shadowbanish (thank you! <3)

Answer the questions and tag 20 people.

Shit, uhhhhhh... I dunno about 20. That seems like a whole hell of a lot. @ammonia-jane, @manticorefruit, @pink-reindeer, @ghartokpadhome, @ashadahlen, @ashtraska, @onepartpartyonepartmachine, @happilynerevarafter, @relvinmeru, @julei-zu, @aforgottenchampion, @jerallmountains, @sonofqueen, @hardbittenhearts, @aramis-stilt0n, @snowelves, @automatomicatomaton, @dunmeritude, @sithisit, @chameleonspell HEY WE DID IT (Disregard if you want, tho, cos this is a lot of questions and all)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Tea, with a lot of sugar and milk. 2. Phone call: @ammonia-jane, actually, because I’d missed the bus and made myself late.  3. Text message: “A miserable pile of secrets.”  4. Song you listened to: “Maker Of My Sorrow” by Eliza Rickman 5. Time you cried: Probably yesterday morning, or the night before.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Like, gone on two dates or dated them, broke up, then dated them again? Either way, yes. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh man, yeah. Many people I’ve kissed have not been good at it, regardless. 8. Been cheated on: Yeeeeeaahh actually that sort of happens a lot? I often wonder about that, and whether that’s why I just plain don’t much mind being fucked around on, maybe I just see it as a natural consequence. Or maybe I’m just poly and I shouldn’t overanalyse the whys so much. 9. Lost someone special: Yeah. 10. Been depressed: Bruh. Come on, now. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Lol. Yeah. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Red 13. Black 14. That sort of deep reddish purple that you only get on certain kinds of plum at very precise times of the year. IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah! I’m really bad at keeping them, though. 16. Fallen out of love: Nope! 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nah. Either they cover shit up properly, or I’m just not that interesting to talk about. Also, I’m pretty obtuse to be fair. 19. Met someone who changed you: Not in the last year, but they’re still around?20. Found out who your friends are: I wasn’t in doubt? Damn, some of you must have much more drama-filled lives than I do. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Idk? Probably. I think I gave @manticorefruit a smooch on their hat the other week. I kissed Voltaire after a concert a month or two back.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t really know? Probably not more than half, though. 24. Do you want to change your name: I planned to change to my current name, Daniel, for the duration of transitioning, then change to Casimir once my surgery was done with. Then a friend of mine turns up with a Friendship Tattoo with ‘Daniel’ right there on his forearm and I’m just like. Welp.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I hung out at my mate’s place and drank gin and ate a delicious earl grey-flavored cake with “Happy fuckin’ Birthday aye” written on it in purple icing. That cake lasted for two weeks, it was enormous. 26. What time did you wake up: It should be 7am, lately it’s between 10am and 1pm because life is a series of mistakes. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably something unspeakable. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: For @ammonia-jane to go to Texas so she can come back. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: She’s literally right here. My cat is sitting on her and she’s reading my old report cards from school 20 years ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Oh my fucking gods, where to fucking begin... How about I go back to being 17 and happy and not yet so crushingly mentally ill. That or give me $100,000. 31. What are you listening right now: My cat purring, also “The Wayward Wife” by The Merry Wives Of Windsor. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ...Shit, I don’t know. Maybe I haven’t?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My real estate agent hasn’t returned my emails OR my calls in going on a month now, despite sticking a demolition application notice on my damn lawn in the dark of night. Shitweasels. 34. Most visited Website: If not Tumblr, then probably UESP. LOST QUESTIONS 35. Mole/s: I think there’s one on the back of my neck maybe, and there’s one on the underside of one forearm. 36. Mark/s: Like... A bunch. Scar across my shoulder, scars all over my fingers and hands, big scar on my left thigh, nick on one wrist and between two knuckles on one hand I’ve had as long as I can remember, big flat scar on the sole of one foot, freckles on my shoulders (the ones on my face and forearms faded a lot when I became a Basement Goblin but the ones on my shoulders were from a SEVERE sunburn so I figure they’re there to stay), my stretchmarks are invisible now but holy fuck am I still super self-conscious about them, etc etc etc. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a vet surgeon so much. 38. Haircolour: Right now? Henna-dyed red, it’s sort of brick-red now. 39. Long or short hair: I have a mohawk that’s long enough to reach the small of my back. So... Both? 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Sure <3 41. What do you like about yourself: My hands are pretty and I can do lots of things with them, like blacksmithing and carpentry and rude gestures. 43. Bloodtype: I THINK it’s O-? I can’t remember right now. It’s on some paperwork somewhere around here. 44. Nickname: Dan No, Dan Pls, Dan Would You Just Stop 45. Relationship status: I think they’re both going pretty well? 46. Zodiac: Aries  47. Pronouns: Neither He/Him/His or They/Them/Theirs feels ‘right’ but because English is a woeful pain in the ass, I’ll accept either of those. 48. Favourite TV Show: Right now it’s American Gods. 49. Tattoos: SOON. Once I get a new spot to live sorted out, I got some promises to keep. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Broken wrist, had a chunk carved out of my foot, had my thigh cauterised shut because I kept tearing the stitches and I decided I didn’t care. Had some bits and pieces extracted. Had broken tooth bits fished out of my jaw. At some point in the future there’ll be major chest surgery. 52. Hair dyed in different colour: SO MANY. I had to cool it with that once I started getting scared of my hair falling out. I used to be Billy Idol peroxide-white, though, I think that was the worst for it. 53. Sport: I don’t sport? I like watching Swordcraft battles. I think that’s a sport. 55. Vacation: The Murray River, up around Sunraysia, about 12km downriver from Loch 11. Not that I’ve thought about it at all. 56. Pair of trainers: I don’t know if I have any, actually. I wear my boots to death, though, they need resoling now I’ve ground the heels hollow again. MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Right now? Kabana and some baked beans. Whatever I could find in the kitchen. 58. Drinking: Cheap coke. 59. I’m about to: Write something, I hope, if my brain stays still. 61. Waiting for: Word back about the last rental lease we applied for. 62. Want: Not gonna lie, I would pay $50 for someone to come lie in bed with me and tell me it’s gonna be okay while we spoon and watch American Gods. 63. Get married: Afraid I can’t. Australia’s fun like that. 64. Career: *distant, bitter laughter* WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Depends on the person. It’s hard to screw up a hug, though. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Depends on what I intend to do with them 68. Older or younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, I have such a weird envy thing for good shoulders. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive, because holy shit I am all nervous all the time and loud is bad for me 72. Hook up or relationship: Hmmm. I mean, both have their pros and cons. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I am naturally really cautious, so hesitant, I guess. HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Yep 75. Drank hard liquor: Yessir. I got a bottle of gin beside my chair at all times, lately. Beautiful Tanqueray. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t have either, though I probABLY REALLY SHOULD 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, it was so awkward. Poor thing, really. 78. Sex in the first date: Why wouldn’t I? 79. Broken someone’s heart: Ayyeh... Yeah, pretty often. I’m kind of garbage. 80. Had your heart broken: Yes. 81. Been arrested: No! A low bar, I know, but something I’m proud of. 82. Cried when someone died: Still doing it, now and then. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Hah. I believe that other people believe in me and I don’t want to disappoint them, how’s that? 85. Miracles: In a way. I don’t think of them as miracles, though. 86. Love at first sight: Not the kind of love that ought to last. 87. Santa Claus: Nah 88. Kiss on the first date: Hell yeah smooches. 89. Angels: How christian-specific of you. OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I always hated the idea that asking that question was normal and acceptable. Just makes other friends feel inadequate. 91. Eyecolour: Blue-grey, there’s a bit of brownish-gold around the middle I got from my mother. 92. Favourite movie: The Man Who Fell To Earth. It makes me cry a lot. Or Showgirls, because I cannot watch it without laughing, it’s a trainwreck that never stops giving.

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

[thiswasasuperterribleidea]

I’m baaack!

And I know I’ve said this before, but this time I am “back back” like, “big mad”…but “big back”, so I am “BIG mad, and BIG back”.

The only reason I ever took my little blogging hiatus was because some stuff went down, and I promised Darren I wouldn’t let strangers in on his life choices and share and blog about it…. But then I opened my big ass mouth, broke my promise and told actual real life humans what was going on… and now he hates me for a handful of reasons soooo FUCK IT, HERE’S THE TEA!!!! (PS-Sorry for acting as if you aren’t real life humans…. You know you’re my virtual fam for life)

So while you were all out enjoying your holidays, and I was remaining silent.. I was busy having really, REALLY hot breakup sex. The kind where you can barely make it up the stairs without ripping eachother’s clothes off, driving 30 minutes away at midnight for a quickie, and fucking in the kitchen before making it to the couch or bed..,. yeah it was THAT hot.

And yet here I am, after all that hot and dying for more sex… currently eternally blocked…  for the second and fair enough… probably final time… I’m calling it my third breakup…. WITH THE SAME DUDE.

So of course me and Darren have broken up way more than 3 times. But here’s the logic I have recently created. (Which is obviously very illogical, along with almost all of my thoughts).  I never once accepted our breaking up.  Legit until about a month ago when he brought some new broad around in public and I had to watch them check into a hotel room directly next to mine, and black out and sleep with a pillow over my ears so I didn’t hear them fucking through the hotels paper thin walls…. *takes massive gasp for air after that run on sentence * That did it for me TBH.  I think that would do it for anyone TBH. But I like to think that I almost accepted him breaking up with me one time prior... Back in May –ish when I was essentially kicked out on the mean streets and living with my Nonny, Darren dumped me for what iiiii personally consider to be the first time. (He’ll for sure say it was probably the 50th time). I was so devastated, I decided I’d go out and buy a Louis Vuitton bag cause it made me feel like a boss ass bitch.  It legit made me feel sooo good though. Like I was still shopping around the mall after, and store employees and other shoppers were having me unpack the bag and pose with the bag showing them which one I got. I was strutting around Nordstrom like the boujee girl that I am while everyone “oooed and ah-ed”. It was as close as I was to being famous before this blog. (Still not close to being famous lol)  Thennnn, the other day I decided no break up can be deemed a breakup until a new Louis Vuitton is purchased. SO. Here we are, the first step in recovery… ACCEPTANCE.  While I bought hundreds of other things when Darren broke up with me at the end of August, I didn’t buy a Louis.  So now that I’m making dumb money at my job, I decided I’d backtrack and make all these breakups official. So in May I bought my first child.. and today I bought my second and third. So I had bought brown leather in May, so now it’s time for a white bag to make up for the August break up. But let’s be real. We broke up in August, but it was NOT cold turkey. Darren loves telling me “WE BROKE UP 6 MONTHS AGO YOU OBSESSIVE FUCKING WEIRDO” But let me just say, breaking up 6 months ago and having breakup sex on Christmas is not exactly a 6 month old breakup…SO third breakup is right now, present day, and I of course think I deserve another bag for that too! So I bought myself a Louis clutch as well. (Which is really the only thing I intended to buy in the first place… but I’ve been listening to my girl Ariana Grande too much lately, and 7 Rings is a verrrry dangerous song . SO therefore I was over inspired  to buy them both). And now. I have accepted my three breakups, the third of which I completely created on my own to justify retail therapy, and now just like that…I have a realistic mind set on where I’m at.

So let me stop rambling, and explain what you’re actually looking to hear. This part isn’t going to be long. Or funny. Because it’s something I want out of my head, not to talk about but I want you guys to be able to follow my mind. Darren teased me with the idea of trying again. He was very open and honest, and the whole thing was my idea.. but he agreed that if we were to continue hooking up and talk a little here and there, that we could potentially try again. Now he did let me know he was also talking to someone else, that he did have feelings for them, and that he did not have feelings for me. Dope. So my dumbass went forward with opening my legs, and arguing with him over time he spent fucking me but not talking to me. GUYS- we all know go with the flow is not my fucking thing. But the sex was toooo good. Still too good. Like better than any other sex I have had. I’m thinking it hasss to be in my head now. Like I must be ruining other experiences for myself just comparing penises… anyway besides the point. I ruined it by insecure arguing over who he was spending time with instead of me. And now I have no hot breakup sex, or communication with Darren.

But the thing is. I don’t get me... I am doing well. Really well. It’s not a front. It’s not me tricking myself. I do positive things for myself and my mind all of the time and I feel good about them and I am happy. I feel good about myself, my life, where I’m at. But for some reason… I can’t control my other thoughts. It’s like whenever I talk to Darren, (WHICH I SHOULDN’T EVER BE DOING) my mind screams out, “TELL HIM HOW SAD YOU ARE, LET YOUR DESPARTE OUT, TELL HIM HOW IN LOVE WITH HIM YOU ARE” As if my mind thinks that’s doing myself a favor, or telling him what he wants to hear.. when I know it isn’t. So let me brag to all of you people, and maybe it’ll help you guys. So here’s some more classic advice from your emotionally unstable girl.

I meditate before going to bed, and first thing in the morning. Instead of waking up and texting Darren to see if I am unblocked, or to continue an argument…. I do a 5 minute meditation. Insecurity was always something I struggled with, so I wake up and tell myself things I like about myself. It doesn’t matter if anyone else likes them about me, because what I’ve been working on is falling in love with myself. Sometimes it’s my appearance.. like my eyebrows are on fucking point. Or …my life may not be perfect, buy my eyelashes always are!!!  Or I remind myself of the freckles on my nose that I always make sure I don’t cover up with my concealer. Or my smile with my big white teeth, and disappearing top lip. I make sure to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have and to not get down on myself and pick out everything I see is wrong. Darren was a pro at comparing me to anyone else. Like how this new girl is a dime, and I am just kind of cute and that’s all I’ll ever be. What the fuck, right??? Sometimes it’s not my appearance at all… it’s how big my heart is. How despite what people have put me through, I still try to see the best in them and not let their nasty traits or actions be what I judge them for. It’s my vulnerability, that makes me a good human. Or the fact that I am good at my job. Dwight was a good mentor to me, Darren helped me from time to time. But now this is me. Or even the little details about me like how I close my eyes and lift my feet and make wishes over railroad tracks. (I NEED AT LEAST ONE OF YOU TO TELL ME YOU’VE HEARD OF THAT BEFORE BY THE WAY). I am a hopeless romantic and I love it. I am an awesome fucking person.

I started karate classes again! (I know weird flex, right?)

Well I did karate when I was a kid. Like 5 year old kid. I quit when I was 10. I did it with my family friend Zach. I would cry every time I had to go to class. It was because once I reached a certain age, we had to spar . Like put on full head pieces, equipment and fight for points. I was the only girl and I would always spar against Zach who I had a massive little kid crush on because he was like… the only boy I even knew lol. And one night sparing, he punched me in the area of what I still to this day call my non-existent boob. I was so humiliated so I went home cried and quit.

BUT NOWWW . I’m ready to get my black belt bitches. My Sensai and I did the math the other night. I haven’t been to classes in 14 years. 14 FUCKING YEARS, IT’S DAY 1  AND THIS GUY IS WORKING ME LIKE I’M STILL A PURPLE BELT AND CAN REMEMBER SHIT FROM BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I CAN BARELY EVEN REMEMBER WHAT CAR I DROVE HOME TONIGHT. It’s wild. But it’s so good for stress and honestly guys are such perverts that being single I deff need to know self defense on how to fuck a dude up. I’ve has some scary uber drivers.

Uhm uhm uhm what else do I have to report…

I have been talking to this kid. We’ve been out a bunch. He makes me really happy. He listens to me, always is so interested in my day, and is golden retriever innocent. But I’ve been trying to force it more than I should. He’s so sweet and so fun to talk to and hang out with which I love. But I just don’t feel the right sexual chemistry (ironic because he’s a science teacher ) . But like that is such a huge deal to me. Let’s be real … not all girls are comfortable saying they love sex.. But I LOVEEEE sex. No shame. It’s natural. But I am also very cautious of who I am sleeping with. I’ve told you my 3 time rule.  Anyway, the chemistry wasn’t right. And while this 2019 dating world is not something I have really ANY experience with… I decided the next move was “ghosting” . Kind of fucked up huh? I would hate that happening to me. I am such a talker, I need answers so bad. But I mean he wasn’t my boyfriend, we were just talking for a few months, I didn’t have the energy to explain myself and it was so causal like I just didn’t think I needed to. BUT THEN I MADE A ROOKIE MISTAKE. I planned to leave that night and never respond again. But as soon as I got in my car to drive home… I realized I was missing one of my hoop earrings. Mind you this was not just my 17 dollar cheap sterling silver hoop earrings…. This was my SOLID GOLD FAVORITE HOOP EARRING EVER.  I was so mad at myself. Girls literally do shit like this on purpose. They’ll leave earrings , or underwear fucking anything to prove they were there. Whether it be to make sure they have another excuse to talk to the guy again or to show any other girl that there’s someone else in his life too, it’s all an evil plot. BUT NOT ME. How could something like that happen to me by accident?!?! Just my damn luck. So I texted him and asked him to put the earring in his mailbox that way I don’t have to do a walk of shame back to my earring, and he can hopefully take the hint that was that. But no. The hint was not taken. I had to hit him with the classic Dwight line, “It’s not you, and it’s not me”. Lmao I am a bitch. It’s nothing I’m proud of honestly. But I am just truly done looking for anyone. I’m just waiting for my future husband to walk into my branch and rent a car, someone to just fall into my life. I am not searching, and I am not trying. I like being alone anyway. The only thing that I wish I had was someone to just lay with at the end of the night when I’m lonely to talk to about my day. Someone to wake up next to in the morning with their hands all over me making me late for work… Other than that I’m so busy Monday- Friday that I don’t even have time for a boyfriend. I’m finally content.

The only real problem I have is that my mind still races about blowing it with Darren. I have accepted it’s over, but I haven’t been able to cope well with the fact that I completely fucked up the only thing I wanted, which was him. But I have to be careful cause I haven’t calmed down enough for those restraining order threats to stop yet… and I don’t think they are threats any more.  I have to get better control over my emotions.

But now you guys are completely all caught up on my crazy ass life. I hope I didn’t get too boring on y’all. I’ll be back to posting regularly as soon as the next fucked up shit happens. Cause you knowwww there will be something. 

[connorrenwick]

Friday Five with Aimée Wilder

New York born and bred, designer Aimée Wilder has her parents to thank for early exposure to fashion trends and textiles – they would eventually be the basis of her career. After graduating from the School of The Art Institute of Chicago in 2001, she began developing a body of fine art illustrations that opened the door to exciting design positions at several well-known firms, including Dwell Studio, Martha Stewart Living, and The Gap. In 2008, shoe brand Vans featured three of Aimée’s patterns on thirty different styles of shoes and accessories, exposing her bold designs and playful aesthetic to the world. In 2009, she debuted her wallpaper designs under her own name at New York’s International Contemporary Furniture Fair. Aimée has also recently added rugs, pillows, poufs, fabrics, and contract materials to her listings. Today she’s joining us for Friday Five and sharing five places she finds inspiration.

Photo courtesy of Pamono; ‘Le Bambole’ Chaise Lounge by Mario Bellini (1972)

1. Vintage Design I love things from the past that live on into the present. Vintage textiles are a big inspiration for me, and they remind me how time moves on. I admire futuristic objects from the 1960s and early ’70s because they present such a contrast between how we envisioned the future and how design has actually progressed since then. I like the geometry in this period’s lighting and electronics, the gorgeous furnishings and home accessories, the low-slung coffee tables, sofas, chairs, and rugs. I also love vintage jewelry, especially pieces from my mother’s ’80s-inspired collection.

Photo by Steve King/Terje Arntsen

2. Natural Healing and Movement I’m a huge proponent of natural healing, and I totally advocate using herbs, vitamins, minerals, fruits, and vegetables to help maintain a healthy body. For the past four years my own healing journey has involved working with functional medicine doctors at Parsley Health, practicing yoga, and becoming mindful through meditation. These are some of the best choices I’ve ever made. I’ve learned so much along the way, as well as through my own research, and I enjoy sharing information and remedies with others. Movement has also been a huge part of this journey – I try to fit a workout into as many days of the week as possible. I travel a lot, but I try to stay active while I’m away from home, too. I love standup paddleboarding, snowboarding, and hiking. And whatever city I visit, you can probably find me in an infrared sauna.

Photo by Aimée Wilder; Top of Piz Corvatsch, Switzerland

3. Mountaintops I grew up in New York City, but as a child I was crazy about skiing. I raced competitively, had my first knee injury at age 14, and switched to snowboarding after college while living in Boulder, Colorado for almost five years. But always one of my favorite parts of the whole experience was riding the ski lift or cable car all the way up to the top of the mountain. I loved it so much that my mom would take me on the Roosevelt Island tram just for fun!

So I’m a bit obsessed with mountaintops. Last winter I went snowboarding in Telluride for the first time since having knee surgery a year and a half ago. Every year I go to the Alps either before or after Milan Design Week – some years before and after! In 2017, I visited Chamonix and its famous Restaurant Le Panoramique, and Le Brevent mountain, and took the Montenvers railway to Mer De Glace, France’s largest glacier, on a magical low-visibility day. I’ve also been to St. Moritz in Switzerland to see the top of Piz Corvatsch, which is 3,451 meters high and has the most incredible observation deck. This year we squeezed in two days and nights of snowboarding in Cervinia, Italy, where we took the gondola and three lifts all the way to the Rifugio Teodulo. On the border of Italy and Switzerland we took two lifts to climb more than 3,500 meters up to the foot of the Matterhorn. I’m always thinking of where to go next!

Photo by Stewart Armstrong; Aimée Wilder at Carnelian Bay Lake Tahoe, CA

4. A Camera Set to Manual I love taking pictures and am constantly refining my photography. It takes a lot of practice to get the perfect shot, and travel is perfect for that – even better if I’m visiting a stunning location. I shoot with the highest-end full-frame mirrorless camera and lenses I can get my hands on, and it has been well worth the investment. I mostly use a Sony Alpha 7R III, and wish I had a shockproof case so I could snowboard with it. But I also love Fuji for its dynamic color range – I can’t wait to play with their medium-format digital cameras, and I’m already using a waterproof Fuji. I originally learned to shoot in my teens with an all-manual Pentax film camera, which was unfortunately stolen from my car when I was 21. This brought my early photography career to a screeching halt because I couldn’t afford to replace it. So, after years of shooting with disposable cameras or my dad’s old Canon point-and-shoot, it’s been a breath of fresh air to use the latest pro digital cameras. I’m so excited about integrating photography into my design work. I’m also about to release a new collection, Eudaimonia, and have done all the photography myself!

Photo by Aimée Wilder; The Last Party, Amsterdam Warehouse

5. Music is My Hot Hot Sex (Song by Cansei de Ser Sexy) Music can affect mood, supply inspiration, and be a source of healing. I use high-fidelity noise-canceling headphones for their amazing sound quality and portable size, and to protect my hearing when I’m in loud environments. I’m also heavily involved in the live music scene – I have a lot of friends here in New York and internationally who make electronic music. Sometimes I’ll go out at midnight just to dance to the best music of the night and see a friend’s DJ set – I’ve been doing this since my mid-twenties. Recently I got to see the Lot Radio Anniversary Party, a celebration for an independent radio station located in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where I live and work. The last big concert I went to was to see the band Beirut, at Brooklyn Steel, which was my first time seeing them live, and Zach Condon’s first concert after a two-year hiatus.

via http://design-milk.com/

from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2019/11/22/friday-five-with-aimee-wilder/

[mhdiaries]

Journal of Holt Hyde

It’ll burn me up if you read without asking.

July 23

Woke up in a moving truck last night - in the cab... this time. But I was totally confused as to how I got there and exactly where I was going. I figured since Moms was driving it meant another new job in another new town - maybe this one will be the last for a while...

July 25

Tried to stay up so I could see what the new town looks like in the daytime but it was no use. Soon as the first ray or sunlight cracked the horizon I was out. Shouldn’t be surprised, since for as long as I can remember, I’ve been trippin’ to the music of the night. I can’t recall the last time I saw the sun... really I can’t. I used to wonder if I was part vampire but so far no fangs and no overwhelming desire to make beat juice my new drink of choice. I must do some serious sleep walking during the day though, cause sometimes when I wake up I am dressed like a complete dork.

July 27

I put some flyers up at the Maul advertising my DJ biz. Hopefully I’ll get some bites. I know that once I get a few gigs I’ll be busy all the time ‘cause I can definitely spin some scary mixes.

August 1

Being the new monster in town means I’ve got to figure out who all the players are so I don’t get off on the wrong claw with any of the locals. So I’ve been taking walks at night with Crossfade just to check things out. This is what I’ve peeped so far:

Count Dracula - This ain’t no mopey “Please give me a hug ‘cause I’ma vampire” cry baby. This is the original old school, dark as midnight, bad to the fang Nosferatu. There may be monsters that have been around longer but none of them have Count Dracula’s street cred. He and his daughter live on my street in what is either a gigantic mansion or a small castle. I guess you’d have to go with mansion but only because there isn’t a moat and a drawbridge.

The Mummy - Got to say there’s just something about old school monster royalty. They’re like rock stars or something I’m not the kind of monster that gets star struck but I seriously wanted to ask for his autograph. I didn’t but I thought about it. He and his princess daughter Cleo de Nile live in this palace that looks like a movie set with servants and all. I don’t know Cleo but it seems like she’s wound a little tight.

The Werewolf - There’s one Alpha wolf in his pack and he is it. I heard he could have gone pro in just about any sport he wanted but he was so much stronger and faster than the other players they said it wouldn’t be fair for him to play. He’s got a big family in a not so big house and it always seems like there is some kind of drama going on over there. The way they argue you’d think they don’t like each other but you’d be wrong. They watch out for each other and if you fight one of them you better be ready to take them all. Clawd is the BMOC - Big Monster on Campus and Clawdeen is going to have songs written about her one day.

Frankenstein and His Bride - Mr. Stein is pretty chill for a dude who’s 8 feet tall and looks like he’s strong enough to tie knots in oak trees. Mrs. Stein on the other hand... well let’s just say Mr. Stein is a lucky monster. They live in a house that looks like a cross between a Swiss chalet and a research lab. I think they’ve got a new baby over there but I haven’t seen her yet.

The Sea Monster - He doesn't’ really live on land, at least I don’t think he does - for sure he’s got a little beach house where Lagoona Blue lives. It’s got this killer dock that goes out over the water. I saw Lagoona sitting out there talking to him one night. He never got out of the water though so I couldn’t tell exactly what he looked like but he churned serious water when he left. I think he mostly just keeps to himself and doesn’t spend a lot of time with surface monsters.

Medusa - Seems like she’s got her hiss together and is in total control of her emotions - good thing too, cause if she ever lost it, your career as a permanent life size paperweight would start right away. I guess that’s why she wears sunglasses outside of her house - even at night. Speaking of her house it looks like a building from one of those pictures at a Greek restaurant the kind with the big columns and everything. I bet the acoustics in that place are awesome. Wonder if she ever lets Deuce have parties up there?

August 3

Have you ever met someone for the first time and it’s like you’ve known them all your life? Dude this totally happened to me last night. I was doing this bubblegum dance gig, not really my style but sometimes you’ve got to give the monsters what they want - ya know? Anyway, this absolutely smokin’ little vampire was out on the floor doing the Transylvania Trance and there wasn’t another monster in the place who could keep up so I flipped the switch to auto pilot and jumped right in there with her. When the song was over I was like, “Ula D you rock!” Then she said, “How do you know my name because I don’t think we’ve ever met have we?” I couldn’t think of a time when we had but somehow I just knew who she was. Weird huh?

August 10

Had a date with the lovely and lyrical Operetta. She’s a bit of a diva but what a set of pipes! I took her to see this band I really like and everything was going great until this gargoyle bumps into her and almost knocks her down. I didn’t think his apology was sincere so I got hot and long story short... I got us kicked out. Operetta was embarrassed about it, and asked me to take her home. I sent her a dozen dead roses but she’s still not talking to me. My temper constantly gets me into trouble but never gets me out.

August 11

Mom found out about last night from Operetta’s dad. She says I need to do a better job controlling my temper and stop being such a hot head but it’s not like I can just become a different person. Sometimes I think she wishes I wasn’t a monster at all. Does she think I can just snap my fingers and turn into some dorky human or something? I swear sometimes I just want to ~~~~~~~~~~ ASHES! I melt more pens this way. Maybe mom’s right - wish there was like a potion you could drink to get rid of the bad stuff... oh well.

August 20

I think I’m going to take some night school classes this year. I heard that Monster High does non-traditional classes for monsters who don’t do daylight and since I seem to fit into that crew I’m gonna sign up. There’s supposed to be this siren that gives voice lessons and Operetta’s dad teaches a keyboard class.

September 5

I started working on this song that I want to be kinda about my life. Maybe inspiration will hit and I’ll finish it or maybe I haven’t lived long enough to write a song about my life. Anyway I got the first verse:

A twisted road plays out like a rhyme

Revealing itself a little at a time

Turn the corner Leave what’s behind

Outta sight and outta mind

Outta sight and outta mind

Guess I’ll have to see where the road leads.