#to be fair i think we have less than 10% chance of any of those happening but. still.

[sailorstarlesbian]

i've been lying to myself all year saying there's sure to be a haruhi season 3 annoncement any day now and i was just struck with the terrible thought of "what if they announce a remake instead"

[boopiddyboop]

ATEEZ Scorpio Analysis

Hello and welcome to quite possibly the silliest post I’ve made to date! I’ve spoken at length about Ateez and the relationship with their Scorpio placements, but for whatever reason, I wish to rank them and find the chiefest Scorpio amongst them. So without further ado, let’s get into it!

Disclaimer: As per usual, traditional astrology and rulership applies. This post especially is just for fun. If you think I’m wrong, feel free to argue in the askbox.

Pre-Game:

So first, I’ll explain the how of the game. We’re going to be measuring the dominance of the three major components the rulership of Scorpio: Planet (Mars), Element (Water), and Modality (Fixed). We’ll be using the very convenient Dominants tab from the Natal Charts available on astro-seek to get our base numbers and weight them accordingly. I did my best to find a “fair” way to account for everything, but there’s a reason they say “lies, damn lies, and statistics”.

Here’s what the table I’m working with looks like, using Ateez’s group natal chart as an example:

I’ve generated one for each of the members, but they're not included with this post so as to not clog up the view. The website itself explains each column and how they come up with the numbers, but in short, significance is given to each planet based on where it is, if it’s being ruled by a sign of rulership/exaltation/etc, whether its in a house of corresponding rulership…  we will be ignoring aspects for this, as some of the birth times we have are approximations, which can lead to incorrect aspect degrees.. 

For scoring, planets will be weighted at 40% of the total, with element and modality each being worth 30%. 

As a refresher for those who don’t keep this information in their brains, here are the Scorpio placements between members:

Hongjoong: Sun and Venus

Yunho: Mars and Rising

San and Mingi: Mars

Wooyoung: Mercury

Jongho: Mercury and Venus

Yeosang and Seonghwa have none, but they have quite a bit of Mars and Water influence, so don’t write them off just yet!

**I am operating this under the assumption that Jongho is a Taurus Rising. I’ll address it more at the end, but ultimately, there wasn’t a huge difference between my top 3 guesses and his final score, so I just ran this with the one.

Round 1: Planets

Who has the most outright Mars influence? Well, this one should come as no shocker:

Yunho and Seonghwa are very close point total wise, but for Yunho, his Scorpio Mars in the first house is his strongest placement by a margin of 4 points (his Taurus Venus coming in second at 10 points), Despite all of his Aries Mars influence clocking 13 points, Seonghwa’s Aries Sun and Cancer Moon are also weighty factors in his totals at 12 points apiece, bumping his point total up, but his percentage down.. San’s Scorpio Mars is actually tied for influence with his Leo Mercury, since it’s ruling his ascendant.

Mingi’s Scorpio Mars is tied for second in his dominant planets with his Leo Sun, but both are overshadowed by his Cancer moon by a mere point. Wooyoung actually has all of 9 points, but as it turns out, his Venus in Libra in the first weighs in at a whopping 18 points (the most points of any member, causing his Mars to only rank 3rd in his dominant planets. Hongjoong’s Jupiter in Pisces is actually doing a lot of the heavy lifting in his influence, but his Scorpio Sun and Mars in Virgo help keep him from falling into last. Finally, Yeosang is bringing up the rear with 6 points being carried by his Aries Ascendant placement

All in all, every member of Ateez has Mars as no less than their 3rd place influencing planet, which is honestly quite impressive. 

Round 2: Elements

Water placements! We’re looking at Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer. No crazy weighing this time, we’re just checking to see who has the most water in their chart.

Most of these rankings are being carried by the plethora of Cancer Moons (Mingi, Seonghwa, and Yeosang), with Hongjoong getting a chance to shine by virtue of his Scorpio Sun/Venus and Pisces Jupiter. Almost everyone actually has water as their top element or is tied for top, with San and Wooyoung being Earth/Water and Air/Water

... except Seonghwa, who despite getting second place, is strictly fire dominant.

(And now I’m laughing because a whole bunch of water dominants debuted with a pirate concept 😂)

Round 3: Modality

Easy peasy, we’re looking for fixed signs in the natal placements + ascendant. For a refresher, these are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius.

San’s Leo and Taurus placements clench the win for San in this category, with 5 placements out of 8 being fixed, compared to Yunho and Mingi’s four, though all 3 are fixed dominant. Meanwhile, this is where Seonghwa finally gets penalized for all of his Aries/Cancer energy, as his only fixed placement is his Aquarius Venus. Hongjoong and Jongho both have predominantly Mutable placements, while Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Seonghwa have significant Cardinal energy. 

A note on Signature Signs:

If you take the natal 7 plus ascendant and calculate the most modalities and elements (not the same way as the Round 2), some people will end up with a signature sign. Of the Ateez members, 5/6 out of 8 (Jongho being a maybe) actually manage to snag one: 

Hongjoong has a Pisces Signature (3 Water + 4 Mutable) 

Seonghwa and Yeosang both have Aries Signatures (4 Fire+5 Cardinal and 3 Fire+5 Cardinal respectively).

Yunho has a Scorpio Signature (3 Water+4 Fixed), 

San has a Taurus Signature (3 Earth + 5 Fixed)

Jongho (w/ an assumed Taurus Rising,) is a Gemini Signature (3 Air + 3 Mutable). 

Mingi and Wooyoung both have ties in their elements, with a 3/3 split on Earth/Water for Mingi, and 2/2/2/2 for Wooyoung across all elements. 

I couldn’t figure out how to weigh Yunho's bonus Scorpio Signature into this contest, but in the end it didn’t matter…Because the grand Scorpio of Ateez is still Yunho

Final Scores:

Yunho was the only member to get Top 3 in all 3 rounds of scoring, and really his Mars strength from round 1 could not be surpassed. In my attempt to make this fair, I tried different ways of weighing this (33% even, 50/30/20, etc.) and Yunho comes out on top every time. But once again, Scorpio Rising ruled by a Scorpio in Mars- was there ever any doubt? 

By this weighting, Mingi and San tie, but if you switch to 50/30/20 Mingi squeaks out above San, while 50/25/25 has San edge out Mingi. Ultimately I’m fine with the weighting I landed at, as I think it’s pretty clear that these 3 are leagues ahead of the rest. Hongjoong and Seonghwa will actually tie in 50/30/20, but for the most part Hongjoong sits above Seonghwa. Meanwhile Wooyoung never clears last place, with Jongho and Yeosang sitting somewhere above him.

Final Tidbits: 

-Now, as previously stated, a Taurus Rising for Jongho is just a guess, but with the exception of a Scorpio Rising (which I ranked at 5/12 for likelihood), the top 3 rising options sit at about the same place in the chart, so I went ahead and kept Jongho on here. I have all 4 on my master document that I will post at the end

-If you run Ateez’s group natal chart against all the members, it often will rank even higher than Yunho, depending on the weighting.

-I’ve included my own Scorpio ranking in the master document. Do with that as you will. 

If you’ve made it to the end of this, I greatly appreciate you and your time. Hope you’re having a wonderful Scorpio Season!

[enpr-ss]

3 HOURS!!!! LETS GOOOOOOOO

“That guy’s in a funny spot…. And yet I’m not laughing” etho pls

Him jumping off the stairs to dodge being trapped by 2 ravagers is just so cool. And then he enters level 3 and it’s pathetic tiny slime man again. “I wanna go homeeeee”. He’s so panicked in the dripstone it’s great. HOW DID HE DODGE BETWEEN THREE VEXES AND A RAVAGER AND EVOKER TEETH OH MY GOD. he can’t make the chain parkour when it’s not going LOL. and then he gets help from Pearl to do parkour! Everyone is an etho girl. All that and he dies to a vex.

The audacity to call Gem a chihuahua when he started it and the one who shakes like a little dog.

That’s an interesting strategy of also considering the slots the cards take up. Never thought of it that way before. That one should swap commons for rares makes sense obviously, but the way explained it! What a gamer.

BRO HE TRUSTED THAT CARPET BLOCKER SO MUCH!!! such a greedy boi. He has his loot path READY. so far he seems to be more scared of level 1 than of Willie. The shaky cam is REAL. DOUBLE REPAIR KIT HOLY!!!!! THE DUNGEON LOVES HIM. 3 EMBERS 2 CROWNS 4 COINS!!!! Tango probably limited it to 1 repair kit a run because he’s etho-proofing it. He knows. HE’S LEAVING THE DUNGEON WITH LIKE 10 CLANK BLOCK!!!

I’m not surprised he’s willing to trade 4 tomes for bounding strides. Jump boost is no joke. Etho knows that any game breaking strats he employs is going to be nerfed. He is self aware. Mountain climbing ravagers are no joke.

What a greed run. Wide turns to get the treasure! Evasion + tome = “a failed rusty run”. this guy.

Speedrun!!! Server literally forcing etho not to be greedy. All that in 5 minutes.

“There’s no ravagers here” SIKE. I really like how he strategizes and really makes use of his deck and where the cards get deployed. Less shriekers in level 3 means a chance to build up clank block. Gotta go down to level 2 asap to trigger treasure and keys there. Lure the ravagers to create an exit path. OF COURSE ITS THE GEM OF GREATNESS THAT TROLLS HIM BY BEING ONE BLOCK OFF. HAHAHAHA. SECOND WIND CLUTCH!!! HAZARD BLOCK WITH A RAVAGER BUT IT MADE A DIFFERENCE ANYWAYS!! JUST BARELY MADE THE CHAIN PARKOUR!!! Rusty!!! 6 EMBERS 4 COINS AND A CROWN OH MY GOD. Noooo he missed the crown in the center! “We stumble and we run” “STUMBLE”. The Shaky Camera!!! “I don’t want to see Swagger right now if I see Swagger I’m going to cry” *Swagger pops up immediately* “nooooooo”

HE JUST BE JEDI MINDTRICKING THAT RAVAGER INTO THE ROOM!!! Hypno must be fuming right now. I cannot believe he jumped right over Willie’s head, got stuck, and still manages to swim to shore without getting a single hit. Cub is so sad right now. Etho always has a Strat for the worst case scenario of being hazard block (a hard learned lesson right there lol), and he’s so happy when the way is actually cleared for once. Dodging that ravager and then MOMENT OF CLARITY RIGHT BEFORE HE EXITS!!! The dungeon is taunting him and wants him to stay so bad. AND THEN SWAGGER IN THE SHOP!!!

So he WAS a honey doper and sus stew slurper. Your barrel betrays you Etho. Oof that was rough. Ravager wrangling on level 1 is hard sometimes. He gives fair deals!! And calls out ripoffs! And it still doesn’t work lol. Infrequent runners giving out shards for cards makes sense because they aren’t going to use those shards anyways and having fun in dungeon with better cards matters more lol.

Remember when Tango said that people would never hit treasure limit on level 1? Especially without getting a key? Etho and Hypno and Gem are laughing at his redstone right now. Etho badmouthing Sprint before reluctantly buying it and now he loves it. Etho explores ONE time and immediately gets punished and he vows to never make that mistake again. HE GOT SANDWICHED BY THE LEVEL 2 DOORS LOL. HE ETHOWALLED HIMSELF. And of course the shop continues to torment him with bounding strides and nimble looting. I think he made the right choice there; especially since his deck has so much clank block.

How does he always get sprint right before entering level 3?? Rigged. HE ALREADY MEMORIZED LEVEL 3 AND LURES WARDENS AROUND!!? DARES TO UNSHIFT WHILE BLINDED AND ITS RIGHT THERE?!?! HOW?!! ETHO MY MAN HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! And then he misses Willie right there. AND HE MAKES IT!!! EVEN WITH A CAMPING RAVAGER!!!

Gem is absolutely right. Tango would hide an egg in the spiders den.

HE DOES IT AGAIN!!! Sprint right before level 3, in and out in roughly a minute, loot and scoot speeding his escape. And now Rusty!! 3 embers, 3 coins, and 3 crowns. That’s a lot. And he talks to Rusty like he’s telling his wild stories too. Sprint might be op, especially for level 3. Maybe tango should consider either nerfing it, making it more expensive, or limiting which level it can play at. He got 10 crowns. That’s insane. I don’t think anyone has ever left with 10 crowns without finding an egg / egg loot.

Etho: this is a deck building phase…. Here are three very good cards that I could buy. Hmmm…

Etho: *buys 5 tomes*

Etho: *hands in 20 tomes*

I hate him so much why is he like this. I think sprint and a time would have been fine too. But yeah any of those cards would have been fantastic. AND HE CALLS GEM A TRYHARD IN THE CAKE ROOM. THIS LITTLE SHIT.

AND THEY ALL GANG UP TO BEAT HIM UP FOR TAKING SO LONG. HAHAHAHAAH. BEST MOMENT OF DECKED OUT RIGHT HERE. JUSTICE AND KARMA HAS BEEN SERVED. OH MY GOD. HE SEES GEM FIRST WITH HER SWORD BUT ITS BDUBS WHO PUNCHES HIM TO DEATH. YES. THIS IS SO SATISFYING. AND THEY STEAL HIS CROWNS AND CARDS.

Etho out here defending victims of scams and bad deals. First Cleo now Bdubs. And of course Bdubs voted armadillo when Etho specifically said not to. Gem’s a loyal ethogirl!!! That’s why she wants to beat him up so much. Etho on his rants. We love it. And then he just sets up Bdubs perfectly for Scar’s ravager jumpscare. Love that jump boost activated at the perfect time for that as well.

Wow that’s a lot of coins. Wished he didn’t cut him looping those ravagers though. And look he’s too scared to do the gem vine swing over the ravager in the spiders den. I’m really liking the crystal tings for level 3. It sounds so cool. Etho’s got level 3 down pat. Oh my god that bdubs track gave me a legit jumpscare. Was that tango messing around?? And I can’t believe that Etho maxed out the treasure for both levels. Of course he did. How does the shop always troll him with a card that literally just out of his reach.

That was a classic turn around the corner and BAM ravager jumpscare. Truly it is the spooky season this phase. Slime Etho!! Look at him go, looping wardens and finding the right spot somehow in all that blindness and tension. He got loot and scoot combined with bounding strides. And it got wasted because he was blinded and the warden was right there. The jump boost lasts for so long. The ravager wrangler is back at it! And he’s just there telling tales to Rusty as he waits for the loot to dispense. 2 coins, 4 embers, and 3 crowns!! Max Clank? We haven’t seen that for a while. YO THAT RAVAGER WAS RIGHT THERE HOW DID HE NOT SEE IT?!? HOW DID HE SURVIVE? Bro the redstone delay with the vexes saved his life right there. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE JUST CHARGED THROUGH RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE RAVAGER ON ONE HEART!!!! OH MY GOD. AND HE MAKES IT!!!! That shaky camera though.

Wait has Etho not died on level 3 yet? Omg he isn’t afraid to not perma-sneak. Look at him breaking the game again. The wild thing is that he found a parkour shortcut that many people had thought impossible previously. And of course jump boost occurs immediately after. His runs are just hilarious. I THOUGHT HE WAS ABOUT TO JUMP INTO LAVA HAHA. And what a perfect ending with the exact amount of frost embers needed to purchase suit up.

44 CROWNS!!! WHAT.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I’m so sorry but I gotta jump in as a guy who’s normal about warrior cats to offer some ideas that are mostly vibe and less similar to their real names:

For Lucy, Frostwish is honestly perfect but something like Echofrost could be nice- also the -heart suffix is often for very noble cats but Frostheart reads a little weird so I’d go with Flurryheart or something in that case

others: Frostflame or Flurryflame, Shiverheart, Brightfrost

For Kipperlilly, I like having Lily somewhere in the name because lilies are horrendously toxic to cats, also she needs four syllables it’s non negotiable. She’s Mad so there’s a fair chance of her getting a -claw name but I don’t really like that for her, I kind of am partial to Flicker as a prefix both for sound and because it’s sort of associated with fire (any name associated with the colour red would also be good for this reason)

various ideas: Flickerpetal, Cinderlily, Ripplewhisker

Ivyshade is also really good and Ivy is just already a great prefix, my only other ideas would be variations on that— Fernshade, Ivythorn, Ivydusk

Berrybee is 10/10, only other ideas is Bumbleberry

For Oisín I’m with you on the storm stuff, naturally— Stormclaw keeps it simple, otherwise Adderstorm to keep a reptilian element. Bonus: Oisín means “little deer”, it’s cute to think he got named something like Fawnkit and then got super buff so the leader was just like “uhh Fawnstorm”

Ruben: existing names that give a similar vibe to “hop” would be like,, Spring, Leap, Flight, Step- flight is funny to me because he’s getting mobbed for autographs he’s gotta go- I’m partial to the idea of him getting named Shellkit and later receiving an emo suffix but I don’t know what that would be jfjjfjdk.

ideas: Shellfang, Shellsong, Hopleap, Whistlespring (wait no that’s gorgug), Whistleflight

Buddy,,, hoo buddy. He’d be given a Sun name more than likely, Dawn or Sun or Ray or something, I kind of like the idea of Sundapple (patchy sunlight, wavering faith) but it sounds like a juice flavour. Risingdawn, Dawncloud, Sunfall, Lightseed

Bonus round: Kristen as Applebee for the meme, Porter rising to power as Shatterstar, Fig as Houndheart because German shepherd mode

bonus bonus: kipperlilly would hate to be average and unremarkable. Imagine she gets a suffix like -fur or -tail or -pelt

you and me discussing warrior cat names.

THESE ARE ALL SO GOOOD. and YES i had thought about the -heart suffix, but i agreed it seemed like. well. it seemed like an insult. cold-hearted. but flurryheart is soo cute.

and all of your alt kipperlilly names... all so good.... this is the one universe where she wont be bullied for her name. WE ALL HAVE NAMES LIKE FLICKERPETAL!!!

and omg. fawnstorm is adorable.

and omg i didnt even think abt tying in his beach era. shell is such a cute prefix for him. it also makes me feel like all of the rat grinders are in riverclan tbh. because the bad kids are sooo thunderclan coded right. and so au where tbk and trg are just fighting over sunningrocks. (btw sunningrocks belongs to riverclan idgaf. THEYRE USING IT TO HUNT!! THOSE THUNDERCLAN FUCKS JUST WANT TO SUNBATHE!!!)

also sundapple does have such a cool meaning but ur right it is soooo juice coded JKNHGH.

and ohg my god waaittt. me when Phoenixstar (aguefort) renames Graystone (porter) into Shatterstone after a brutal injury .... and then Shatterstone and Shimmerdust (jace) kill him.... and Shatterstar rises to power...

[pancake-breakfast]

Not really ready to move on from Vol. 10 yet, but here we go anyway.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 11, Chapters 1-2 below.

Volume 11 Covers

I see Nightow decided not to give spoilers for Vash's hair here.

That rabbit looks less than happy... but I think Vash deserves to hug a bunny right now.

Looks like we're gonna get some Milly and Meryl again in this volume! Hooray!

Also Legato. Maybe someday he'll evolve from a bagworm into a bagworm butterfly??

And Zazie, whom we haven't seen since like Dragon's Nest.

And... shall we say, a new blond lady friend??

You know, I never actually read the text on the back cover. It's an old habit after having the blurb on the back of a book give me major spoilers once.

I'm pretty sure no one really knows what's going on with the fake back cover here, including Nightow. I hope everyone's enjoying their duck lips.

Slap-Stick Days? Are those really a thing this manga can have at this point? Or is this just another setup so we can end the chapter on "Slap-Stick Days/End"?

Chapter 1: Zero Hour

Awww. His darkened hair makes me sad.

Whyyyyy do I have to start this out looking at Chapel's stupid mug again??

Ah, Legato... has looked better.

"Chapel and the old man are both dead." As in... Wolfwood Chapel and Old Man Chapel??

Ohhhh, geez. I didn't realize just how separately they treated Livio and Razlo. But I guess he really is both Double Fang and Trip of Death.

"Falling out like teeth." Man, they never stood a chance. They've been decimated for a while now.

Wait, when did Legato get shot in the spine? I thought... ohhhh, Wolfwood. Nevermind, I was thinking this was, like, part of his everyday treatment when he's not in his little metal cocoon. Then again, I don't know how he'd have received any treatment like this over the seven months he was holding down Vash. Hells, I don't know how he went to the bathroom during the seven months he was holding down Vash.

Oooh, I was wondering if this element would come up. Zazie looks pretty pleased with their chosen path.

Knives, you crazy abomination, what are you doing now??

It's a good thing Livio knows how to drive given Vash's history behind the wheel.

Is that a Bentley?? How did they get a Bentley??? How in the hell would that be practical on a sand world??? (I assume it came from the same place as the Prada bag Meryl wants to get.)

Ugh. Vash does not want to answer Brad's questions. This is the face of a man who's tired of thinking about it. He's been thinking about it waaaaaay too much, and he was just kind of hoping for a minute's distraction from his brain thoughts. But he knows he has to explain, even if he doesn't want to.

Livio has so many cute little expressions in these pages. They give me life.

I get where Brad's distrust comes from, but Vash doesn't have the heart to deal with it right now. He's doing his best, but he's so tired. Emotionally, I mean.

I love how Vash takes Brad's objection and immediately counters with a real-life example.

Oh, I love the firmness bordering on anger here. Like Livio suggesting Vash is being too trusting with him specifically is an insult to Wolfwood's memory. Gods, babygirl is sooooo angry and hurt by all this right now.

LOL, Brad's anchor tattoo. I know this is kind of a joke panel, so now I'm wondering if he actually has one.

Livio apologizing. I think he really would bleed more as penance for Wolfwood, if he could. Like, he'd accept more grievous injury than Brad can do to him and wouldn't seek retaliation because if it's not fair, it's not fair in his favor and not in theirs. They have a right to seek retribution. To a point, though. He doesn't seem suicidal.

Oh, an ion cannon, eh? I'm sure this will go well for them and not get decimated by Knives from 100 meters or something.

Ohhhh noooooo. They're gonna Last Run a bunch of plants to power this thing.

That's sooooo many plants.

Yeah, as if Knives wasn't pissed enough.

Huh. I honestly didn't expect the Plants' will to come into play here.

I love how insect-y the plants look on this spread.

I mean, they've had over a century to rebel, and it seems like they've only done anything similar in isolated incidents. They seem to genuinely want to help humans. But this particular instance is rather unique. At the very least, they don't seem positively inclined toward Knives.

Ooh, space friends. I'm sure that will go smoothly.

Chapter 2: Slap-Stick Days

Oof, they're down to one major city. That's bad.

This old guy with the guitar. I do like how music is inextricable from the Trigun story.

Luida coming out to talk with the authorities elsewhere really is a Big Thing.

Eyyyy, it's the return of long-haired Meryl!

Still just as cheeky, I see.

Milly is so cute with her hair like that.

"It's descending into a complete state of lawlessness." Hate to break it to ya, but this planet has hardly been a bastion of law and order. Sure, it might be better than just after the Great Fall, but still.

I swear, if this is more Nebraskas...

"Oh no! It's the feds!" This line is so cliche. It's beautiful.

Vash!?

It is Vash! One air-dropped Vash, to the rescue! Meryl and Milly look like they're about to die of pure shock.

That's ok. Vash is gonna die of pure shock at seeing them, too.

When I turn the page, will they be punching him, hugging him, or screaming at him (affectionately)? Some combination of the above?

Welp, a full melt-down with tears of relief wasn't on my list....

(Loving the girls' new outfits, btw. Very practical.)

Hang on, I just need to drink in this page for a bit.

Ok, I'm good. Moving on.

Hahahaha, good job, radio nerd.

This is gonna give a LOT of weight to Luida's claims with the other authorities. I wonder what Knives will make of it.

Ah, there he is. Heeeeyyyy, Kniiiiiives. Buddy.... You... you don't look like yourself so much anymore.... You doing ok? Need a break, maybe? A glass of water? Tea? Hard liquor?

Yeah, pretty sure the ark isn't actually space-worthy anymore. I hope he's providing some atmosphere for his atmosphere-breathing peons.

IDK, man. You might have great plans, but you have NO idea what these people are capable of. They just dropped out of some sort of hyperspace. They're clearly working on the kind of technology humanity would have if they hadn't crash-landed violently on a resource-less planet and been forced to scavenge everything they could get their hands on just to survive. All I'm saying is maybe don't count your chicks before they've hatched, Knives-kun.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel)

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Top Three Reasons why NMJ is not a righteousness beacon

Okay screw poking the bear I'll share my possibly controversial Nie Mingjue thoughts below. Long post ahead!

Disclaimer: I don't condone what JGY did to him. At all. I don't condone what JGY did period. But NMJ is not perfectly just and fair in his dealings and I think we should acknowledge that as part of his character (which I love btw, he's very well constructed and having flaws is what makes him interesting)

Number One: NMJ is a hypocrite. The Nie cultivate a path that leads to gradual descent into madness, and is so severe that the resentment built up in their sabers lives on for years.

Knowing all this, NMJ joins the cultivators rallying against WWX and his ghost path of cultivation because it's "corrupting" and "evil" and "unorthodox"? As if your own isn't?! Bffr, Chifeng-Zun.

Number Two. His stance on justice and worth of life is inconsequential

Politically, I understand that defending WWX freeing the Wens would have been problematic, because the Jin made sure there was a consensus of hatred against WWX (and Jiang Cheng did nothing to alleviate any of that when he had the chance to explain why WWX saved the Wens).

And even if the Nie were a great sect as well, the Jin were still most powerful at the time, and the Wen work camp was in their territory (even if the staff was from multiple sects). Plus, NMJ didn't seem to be personally concerned with the fairness of the treatment the Wen had been subjected to... because they were Wens and NMJ had a personal vendetta against them as a collective

Why does this matter? Because NMJ makes it a point to emphasize that he never kills senselessly, for selfish desires or acclaim, and becomes angry enough to be violent when questioned about how he decides who deserves to die by his hand and whether he is certain his reasoning is right (Chapter 10, Volume 2, 7seas).

JGY popped off with this one, even if he rolled down the stairs for it - because he is right. NMJ can't be sure he made the right choice because such a choice is a matter of subjectivity and circumstance. JGY deciding his life is more than important than others' falls exactly in line with that, even if his views don't agree with NMJ's.

And NMJ himself illustrates it as well - he joins in the mob agreeing that the Wens at the work camp deserved to be tortured and killed even if they did not directly contribute to the war:

"Showed mercy how?" Nie Mingjue demanded. "Wasn't the Wen Clan of Qishan the culprit behind the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng's annihilation?"

(...) Nie Mingjue was indifferent to such logic. "She remained silent and raised no objections while the Wen Clan committed atrocities. That is no different from watching from the sidelines"

NMJ himself was merciless and silent to the slaughter of the innocent, even contributed to it - because his own principles told him it was fair to do so. Did he ever listen to anything but those? No. Was it right? Obviously not.

Nowhere in the book is there any Nie convoy sent to scout the Burial Mounds and see that Wei Ying wasn't building an army or a sect or anything the Jin were claiming. Because NMJ couldn't care less, because those were Wens and by his own principles, they needed to die.

And then he parades around as somebody who doesn't kill those who do not deserve it. Very ironic.

Number Three: his judgement comes from a largely privileged position.

Of course he doesn't understand (or even bother to try) what JGY means by his little speech on needing to make sacrifices and following orders to survive in the political realm - because NMJ himself never had to bother with such things.

He was feared and respected from the start as a Sect Leader and had a hard time understanding how life for someone below that rank could be like. He does support JGY as his deputy and writes him a recommendation letter - but that's obviously not enough for someone with JGY's past and the many prejudices against him due to it.

Even as many times as Lan Xichen tries explaining this to NMJ, he only seems to grudgingly listen but not agree. In his worldview, it is merit that should matter when building one's reputation. Reality is entirely different - but how could the son of a noble, sect leader all his life, understand and emphatize with that?

Of course, JGY absolutely did not need to do All That™️, but his struggle to prove himself to his father and the world (backed up by quite a bit of paranoia) becomes clearer if you look at it from the point of view of an outcast with a wretched origin trying to make a name for himself in the world.

NMJ didn't do that. Instead he labeled JGY as a power-hungry, manipulative, self-centered son of a whore and treated him accordingly - distrustfully and suspiciously.

Since JGY was already doing a lot of shady things (re: the Xue Yang issue that NMJ was keen on resolving via execution), having NMJ on his case was the last thing he could have possibly wanted - so, he resorted to the mdzs version of musical arsenic poisoning (because he would have never in the history of ever convinced NMJ he had no ulterior motives).

Again, that does not justify JGY speeding up NMJ's dying process. And JGY fucked around and found out big time about 13 years or so later. But if you look at things his way, what other solution was there for him to not only survive but also thrive in Jinlintai?

Could NMJ have prevented any of JGY's actions? Debatable. Personally, I think not. But he would have probably died later (by not making himself a direct antagonist to JGY and inviting death at his doorstep), and perhaps he could have even managed to prove (at least to Lan Xichen) that JGY wasn't as well-intentioned as he painted himself to be (by running covet investigations or something of the sort).

To conclude, NMJ is symbolic for a privileged class that believes in merit because it has never had to endure prejudice, and that is too divorced from the hardships of the underprivileged to understand them.

[ssaalexblake]

Out of curiosity, do you think anything in particular will cause people to come around on 13, or it’ll just be that their perspectives kinda soften with time?

Hm. I don't really think there will be a particular event that'll cause people to suddenly change their perspective, the only way I see any kind of ~catalyst to changing opinions on 13 in a dramatic way is if RTD really does Whedon himself, and to be fair even thought I said i doubt there will be a catalyst, I genuinely think there's at least a chance he will actually do this because fandom is a fickle beast that will turn on people as if a bird on the wind. The fatal mix of hero worship and nostalgia, the time gap where fandom has had More than enough time to become attached to their own view of things were back in the day even if that view doesn't entirely mesh with what actually transpired. The passage of time leaving viewers nowadays far less forgiving of the type of things rife in his work that can be written off on 'product of its time' for 2006 but will not be if they show up again in 2023. The expectations being So high. People only have So much ability to write things off before the straw breaks the camel's back.

I have seen this pattern in fandom before, and yeah it might not happen, but this is also potentially whedon after the first avengers movie being everybody's best buddy straight to being their most disdained after aou.

Generally speaking, when shit like that happens, people tend to reassess preconceived notions. a 'why did we think that one was ever bad?' as a result of the above eventuality is the only way i see some kind of Thing happening that softens people on 13.

But, also, those tags was me kind of responding to the op's tags on their gifset, because despite the fact that the people on the internet have been sipping the nmd's misogynistic koolaid light without even realising it for years, the vast majority of viewers Not being chronically online haven't been doing that and were fine with her era. Judging her popularity only from the people obsessed with the show on the internet is absurd, and i include my positive views in that. I am not the average viewer lol, neither are the weirdos being hateful, no matter How much it benefits them to make people think Everybody hates it and that they're peddling the Bestest Opinion and that it's not cool to like the girl doctor.

So with the caveat that I do not think she's actually unpopular (radiotimes favourite doctor poll my beloved. 10 & 13 coming in highest with 21% of the vote each. Over 50,000 votes in total and he received only abt 90 more than her. There was no way to victimise anybody on this poll with strategic voting, no amount of block voting to support one doctor could dent her total and she came second out of all the doctors by a few measly votes. The general public Like Her.)

In time, it will soften. The misogynists will stop spending all their time talking about how uncool it is to like her to peer pressure people and the ones who don't eventually stop will be marked as losers obsessed with insulting her not worth listening to, so people will just watch it with no one sitting on their shoulder telling them it's bad. People will rewatch it with an open mind instead. I literally have had (multiple times) people in my activity page saying once they stopped listening to people saying how bad 13's era was and went back to it with an open mind it was good! This was a few different people! This has already happened and will continue to.

The nmd squad, quite successfully, were allowed to make it uncool to like her. They were open that their reasoning was misogynistic and even if they didn't use the word, anybody who knows what that means knows they are, but it was not called out as such and it poisoned the well because it gave them legitimacy they did not deserve. It won't stay that way forever, though. People will watch it and judge it Fairly without their influence. Let it have flaws without using them as an excuse to express hatred they already felt for no reason. Let it shine where it shines. Discuss its issues analytically instead of as a gotcha. Talk about themes. Discuss the characters.

This bullshit shall pass, basically.

idk how long we'll have to wait, but i'm willing. I got through being in the fandom and open about my love for it when it aired, and i sure as hell am not missing the moment when people stop being weird and can just be normal about it. I earned that sense of peace through suffering and i intend to collect. I'm not letting it go though. Being an active fan Really Really Sucked.

(shout out to my man colin baker who told the misogynists to get over it from points A to Z. Had everybody had the balls to do what he did they'd never have gotten a foothold and would have been booed out of the room as they should have been.)

[justwosothings]

I think the ticket prices are fair. They have 4 season games at the Bridge this year. They never used to do that? Should they charge the same as if those tickets were in Kingsmeadow but it costs maybe 10 times more to have the game at the Bridge? They can’t. In that case they won’t be able to play games there.

I looked up the prices because I kept seeing everyone saying all tickets are now incredibly expensive. You can go to all 4 games at the Bridge for £50. Imo that’s a very affordable price. Or all 4 games for £170 for the best seats. Tickets at Kingsmeadow are still around £10-20. For the Stamford Bridge games there are lots of tickets avaliable for £15, £25 or £35. Not all of them are £50. I’ve sat in the upper stands before and you have a great view from there.

I don’t expect to watch football front row at Stamford Bridge for almost no money. I don’t think any fans should, just because it’s women’s football. How are we going to discuss, ask and hope for better salaries, better facilities, for women’s teams to be financially self sufficient to a higher degree, if we don’t value the product enough to pay for it? We can’t then.

I think the way forward is Chelsea have to try and host games outside of Kingsmeadow. It only takes a bit more than 4,000 people. They can sell a lot more tickets than that for a lot of games. I don’t care if it’s not every game or not full in Stamford Bridge right away. You have to start somewhere and try if women’s football is to have any chance of making money. Which it must for the sport to survive. Or Chelsea will be where Lyon is in a few years. Selling off their women’s team to the highest bidder after 15 years of hard work to be the best.

They shouldn’t give away the tickets. It shouldn’t be less than half price compared to the men’s team. Chelsea do offer a range of prices. We have options. It’s not Chelsea’s job to make sure everyone can afford a front row seat in the Bridge without making a single priority. Their job is to try to make a profit. Our job as customers is to prioritize how to spend our money. I also think there is no precedent. The women’s team has barely played at Stamford Bridge at all, in years. I think they’re trying this now, and after this season they’ll evaluate. But they’re not making it impossible to come to their games. A lot of tickets are still very affordable.

I probably didn't explain myself very well.

I think individual ticket prices are where they should be and don't disagree at all with all that you've said I completely agree.

I never said they should give away tickets I just think they could've thought about the season tickets better. I think firstly it was just bad communication from them because they day the season tickets came out it was like oh hey btw we're doubling the price and not only do you not get tickets to Stamford Bridge home games but league cup isn't included now either. So I think a lot of people were rubbed the wrong way from the start.

But for me it's more it's actually the maths of it is off with the season tickets. Like you said Kingsmeadow games are £10-20 which is absolutely a good price. A season ticket is £120 for 7 games. And now that league cup and bridge games aren't included you could actually buy individual tickets to all games cheaper. So it's just a weird one. I personally think a better angle would've been to figure out a way to include Stamford Bridge. For eg if cheapest ticket is £15 then find the right price to include that in the season ticket. Then I think they could do something good like instead of what they used to do by giving you a ticket they could say here's your £15 code for Stamford Bridge and fans can either exchange that for a £15 ticket or use it towards a £50 ticket. I just think the way it was done made a lot of people chose either or.

Also, I think the Chelsea email recommended what package to get for essentially supporters club or season ticket holders for good atmosphere and like you say that package was more than the price of a season ticket like £170? Which for me personally (also I'm a bit of a unique situation since I know I won't make all the games) that didn't make sense and it makes more sense for me to maybe just pick on game there and pay the higher price for one if thats what I want. I actually didn't notice there were £50 packages which is decent. Again I think that was probably more a communication thing.

I think they just poorly executed the season ticket this year and brought in a whole lot of changes at once and a whole lot of games were cut off of it. But like I said I do think £120 is fair and understandable I just think they came at it with the wrong approach. Also I think my £15 code thing is genius so please use this Chels lol

[sirfrogsworth]

Wowwwww, 23 people won things!

The NCAA alone has 230,000 athletes. Do you not realize how tiny 23 people is compared to the totality of women's sporting?

And do you not realize all of your arguments are just you making shit up?

Who is this imaginary athlete that was only beaten once and then won 10 other times? I ask for actual examples and the first thing you do is imagine one.

So let's move past your imaginings and check out your extensive list of 23 trans athletes.

The first individual competitor on the list seems to be Molly Cameron.

In 2021 she placed 1st a grand total of one time! That is much less than 10 times.

She also placed 34th, 37th, 40th, 44th, and did not even finish the race 3 times.

SO DOMINANT!

Who else is on the list?

There is Jamie Hunter. Who plays billiards.

Really? Billiards?

Victoria Monaghan! She plays darts! I'm sure that male puberty she went through really gave her the edge in throwing small pointy things.

You also posted Mary Gregory. I will say, I am not very familiar with how weightlifting competitions work. It seems she was lifting alone in her weight class and was uncontested. She won 9 out of 9 events... against herself? Maybe someone can clear up that confusion. However, if you go by the overall rankings in those events, the best she did was 8th. And in her last two competitions, she ranked 30th and 44th overall. Many women were ranked higher than her.

Unfortunately, I could not find extensive records on most of the athletes on this list. The only athlete that comes even close to your "lose 1 and win 10" statement is Austin Killips. She won 1st place in 7 out of 31 cycling races over 3 years of competition. But she lost badly in quite a few races as well. Do a lot of dominant athletes who only lose once place 19th? Or 12th place? Several times? Austin has lost more than she has won.

I am just not seeing this rampant unfairness.

And 2 was not a logical fallacy. Perhaps I was not clear enough, but I think people still understood what I meant.

There are plenty of sports records that have gone long periods without being broken. What I was asking is if there are any trans athletes that currently hold a world record that has yet to be broken?

And are there any trans athletes that have held a record for a significant amount of time?

That is nothing like proving the existence of God. Like, you can just google it.

Every trans world record I could find has been defeated within months.

"trans women do not need to be better than every female athlete to have ever existed in order for their competition to be unfair. What an absurd statement."

Do you not understand sports? A winning streak is a very common statistic tracked in most sports. It can be a sign of a well-performing athlete or it could be a sign of cheating. If a trans athlete had an impressive winning streak, that could be a sign of the rampant unfairness you are claiming. 23 people winning 1 time is not very convincing.

Why don't we simplify this argument a bit?

What is fair?

That's the crux of everything. You all need to define what fair competition is.

Or you could at least define what is unfair. What quantifiable competitive variables can you identify that would constitute unfairness in competition?

You heavily implied that losing 1 and winning 10 is unfair.

Yui Susaki lost 0 and won 72. If that 1 and 10 metric is what you consider unfair, then there are a lot of cisgender athletes that qualify and no trans athletes (that I could find) that do.

Here is what I think is reasonably fair...

If trans athletes can be beaten with consistency, if they are not setting world records that cannot be broken within a reasonable time frame, and if they do not have ridiculous winning streaks... I think that shows fair competition.

Those three things are what I think of when I think of a dominant athlete.

I think all any athlete wants is a chance to win against their competitor. And after decades of trans people competing, that has never been an issue.

I saw someone passionately arguing against trans teens getting gender affirming surgeries. And it is clear they have researched this to great lengths. And it is clearly a super important issue for them. And they probably talk about it constantly online.

And the frustrating thing I feel is... it isn't happening.

I mean, it is.

But from a statistical point of view, it's not. In fact, these surgeries could increase in frequency by 200% and it would still not be happening.

I think 200-300 top surgeries per year. And maybe 2 or 3 bottom surgeries with very special circumstances.

I can't even imagine what percentage of the population that is.

Compare that to the 230,000 cosmetic procedures done on cisgender 13-19 year olds.

People will say, "Oh well I'm against that too."

But are you really? Are you supporting legislation to stop it? Are you spending hours researching it? Are you having constant debates about it online? Seems pretty low on the priority scale considering it involves like a zillion percent more people.

It's the same with athletics too. My state banned K-12 trans students from participating in sports.

All 8 of them.

People were commenting they could just compete in a special trans league. That was their solution. So a 2nd grade soccer player could maybe do the backstroke against a freshman swimmer.

Good thought. A+ idea.

Also, the NCAA has 226,000 women athletes. Estimates say maybe 100 or so are trans.

You have a higher chance of getting into a car accident on the way to a match than actually competing with a trans person.

I can't remember any other issue that was prioritized this much in the public discourse that involved so few people. It's mind boggling.

[studentsoutofbed]

2022

Wow. Another year gone again. They say that the older you get, the quicker time passes. Turns out I've now only got one full year until I'm in my 30s. I do feel so grown up now. If 2021 was the year I learned, 2022 was the year I changed. Life is good again. I still have bad days. I still wake up some mornings after a bad dream and wish it would all go away. But most mornings I wake up with life in my belly.

I started writing this at the end of 2022, but I will finish it in January.

This was the first year since Covid that has been almost entirely normal. Hell, I can't even remember when we had to stop isolating for COVID, or when we stopped having to wear masks?

I've really tried to make the most of it. It can be hard. In the big city, with so many friends, yet sometimes so lonely. I knew it would never be perfect, and I give myself grace for when I go wrong. But absolutely I've done so many positive things this year. I've started dating again. And lots of it. More than I'd like if we're being honest. But it makes me feel alive to get that feeling in the pit of stomach when I send a text. It's disappointing when it doesn't work out, but I have to believe that good things are coming.

This time last year, I made a list of 'resolutions' to try and uphold. Some of them were tangible and others less so. They were as follows:

1. Keep practicing mindfulness. Renew affirmations - This one didn't go great. I still practice mindfulness from time to time, but not as often as I'd like. I think I've abandoned the idea of affirmations. I'm still working up the courage to try therapy.

2. Try something genuinely new or adventurous every month - this is fairly ambiguous. I've probably not fulfilled it, but I think I've gone a fair way toward it

3. Walk 3,650,000 steps in the year - absolutely smashed it, over 4,100,000.

4. Cook at least one new recipe a month- definitely tried some, but other factors sort of got in the way!

5. Don't fear being needy with friends. Message them - I've definitely done this a few times!

6. Take on at least one new project or challenge at work - I don't think there's one particular thing here, but I've definitely done loads of extra stuff, and got my promotion.

7. Say something nice when you can - can definitely do this more

8. Do something nice when you can - and this

9. Travel again - Yep! Ticked off 4 new countries, and some staycations too

10. Eat a little better - hmm

11. Volunteer for something - I definitely tried at times - I'll keep this in mind

12. Just try your best - most days I do my best, and any day that's not my best is forgiven.

At the end of this post I will consider some new resolutions for 2023. I think some will be more measurable.

For now though I shall continue with my review of this year, in the usual way.

Falklands Take 3 - With Rose wanting to move in with Chris, we had to move out of our flat. It felt like a perfect chance to go back to the Falklands, and not pay rent whilst I was there. Another opportunity to save up some more money. But more importantly, a chance to rewrite the narrative. I saw one of those inspirational Instagram posts that said 'Laugh in the places you've cried'. That really stuck with me. I can safely say that every single tear I cried in 2021 during my time down south was replaced with a laugh this year. None of this is to downplay some of the times I had in 2021, and particularly the positive impact the people around me had. But this year was all positive. Quarantine was only 5 days this time, and also in the UK. It wasn't fun like the year before, but it definitely went quicker. The next 12 weeks were an absolute blast. At work, I was the experienced one, the person to come to with questions. That felt empowering. The team were amazing. The mess was so much friendlier than it been subsequently. I had many fun nights drinking in the bar, or in Stanley. Some shifts were really fun. My birthday night we took over the mess and did karaoke. There was the night we dressed up to watch Antz in the common room. I finally managed to visit Sea Lion Island, and I returned again to Saunders. In my last week, we had a dinner party at Katie's house. Just the met team. I honestly don't think I've laughed that much in so long. The place is dark and haunting, and it can engulf you, but in a such a beautiful way. It exhibits and almost Stockholm Syndrome like hold on me. I'm genuinely so excited to go back.

Holidays - One of my goals was to travel again. I managed to tick off 4 countries (maybe 5?) In 3 trips. Me and Chris went to Kosovo and Macedonia as a cheap replacement for Norway, where we were supposed to do a marathon. It was a cheap time, but it was a great mix of city sightseeing with beers, a nice relaxing canyon trip, and a big mountain walk. For only 5 days we packed it all in. I then went to Athens and Brussels for a couple of nights each. They were really enjoyable in their own ways, but they did make me question how I should handle my solo trips now. I thought I'd treat myself to hotels, but it just made me a bit lonely. Maybe a rethink this year.

Weddings with uni people - 2 sets of my uni friends got married this year. Will and Pippa in August, then Luuk and Georgina in November. They were both so beautiful in different ways. For Will and Pippa we made a long weekend in Devon out of it. I don't get the chance to spend that much time with these guys these days, so it felt like a real throw back. Similarly for Luuk and Georgina's, it felt so wholesome. I hope I can hang out with this lot a bit more this year.

Bill's wedding - this was special in a different way, as he asked to me be his best man, just before I left for the Falklands. It didn't allow me to help in any way whatsoever, nor to sort a stag. I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything about it to be fair. I was so proud to have that honour. It's good to know that I have friends like that.

Ashbury - as always. What a privilege to spend 3 days with the best ones from the first days. I'm so glad we're still a tight group, and I'd love to hang out with them more.

It feels a bit empty to have such few things here. I think maybe that's one of the positives this year. It's been moments and days that have been excellent. And there's been loads of them. Just vibes.

I do need to dedicate some space to my Nanny. She passed away at the end of the year after a few months of deterioration. I miss her terribly. My grandad is still not himself now, although my mum is back to normal, on the outside at least. I am so glad I came back to Bristol fairly regularly in those months, to get to see her one last time. Love you.

And we come to my goals for 2023. Last year I decided to make goals that would enable me to slightly alter the way I live my life. Goals to encourage me to do more, and pay more attention to the relationships I have with friends and family. This year I want to be more specific with some of them. And so.

Run a sub 4 hour marathon

Run a sub 1:45 half-marathon

Send a V4 bouldering route

Be able to do 20 pull ups (maybe a bit tricky, but stretch goals init)

Travel more again

Go camping

Eat better

Do more things that frighten me

Get out of bed!

Try therapy (haven't done it for the last two years so not expecting big things from myself here)

Be proud of myself

These goals have some more physical aspects to them, and some pretty specific. I feel like I'm currently in the shape of my life, and I need to make the most of it. I should be in my prime so why not help myself.

2023 feels like it's going to be a transition year for me. I am going to the Falklands again in September for the end of the year. It will feel like a bit of a time bomb, especially when it comes to summer. I'm expecting big changes in 2024, and this year is leading up to it. Maybe that means it's a really good chance to have loads of fun. Make the most of my 20's and all that.

All I ask of myself is to do my best. To embrace change, but hold on to what matters. Spend time with family, with friends. Work on myself. Bad days are just that.

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

[seriouslycromulent]

So I finally got around to watching The Librarians ...

After I finished the second half of the latest season of Leverage (aka Leverage: Redemption), I felt the urge to watch something else with the same energy. And what has the same energy of Leverage? Well, The Librarians ... duh.

Now, to be fair. I've tried to get into The Librarians in the past, but I could never make it past the first 3 episodes. Seriously, I've tried to start this series no less than 3 times, and I just kept giving up on it.

Why? Because I found most of the characters too annoying to enjoy it. Mainly Ezekiel, Cassandra and Flynn. And although I know that it takes time for actors to settle into their characters, and begin the journey of growth and change that comes with a solid character arc, I couldn't bring myself to keep watching.

So what changed my mind this time?

Easy. I didn't bother watching the first 3 episodes. 😉 Since I already knew who the characters were, and vaguely recalled how everyone got together, I thought I would just dive in and see how it would go from there.

And it worked! Most of the cast still got on my nerves for the first half of the first season, but it wasn't too long before they started to grow on me -- especially Jenkins.

In true "me" fashion, my favorite character easily became Jenkins / Sir Galahad, and most of my favorite scenes and episodes involve him. But more on him later.

Anyway, that's not to say their aren't plenty of other things I love about the show now. I'm not sure if there is common denominator among my favorite episodes, but here they are and a wee reason about why they're one of my favorite episodes:

... And the Fatal Separation (s3, ep9) Why? -- Three words: Ernie. Reyes. Jr. That's it. That's the reason this episode is on my list. And it's enough. Granted, I don't believe that Christian Kane could last more than 10 seconds in a real fight with Ernie, but the fact that he was the main guest star and was clearly having a great time made me really love this episode. Plus, how hot were Cassandra and Ezekiel posing as black market traders? Their hair and clothes made me want to see them in those roles again in the future.

... And the Reunion of Evil (s3, ep3) Why? -- I pretty much loved this entire episode from start to finish. I loved the conflict, the "creatures of the week," and the development it gave for Jake and Cassie's relationship. It did a wonderful job of balancing humor and drama, and of course, it was just really well executed because ... Jonathan Frakes directed it.

... And the Silver Screen (s4, ep4) Why? -- I know we're meant to love the whole film noir schtick involving Flynn and Baird, but I actually adored this episode for 2 reasons: 1) the rest of the team moving from film genre to film genre in order to help their teammates was funny as hell, and 2) Jenkins working with guest star Gloria Reuben to solve the real mystery on their end. I thought they had great chemistry together, and it made me want to see them interact with each other again in the future. I know that's not possible, but John Larroquette is just so great at creating chemistry with pretty much anyone.

... And the Christmas Thief (s4, ep3) Why? -- Wait. We get Ezekiel backstory *and* Steven Weber as an over-the-top villain of the week? Of course this episode is making my list of favorites! Granted, I'm not a big fan of the Christmas holiday personally, so it also gelled with me in that respect (aka steering clear of how "great" the holiday is), but more so I'm a huge fan of Steven Weber and I think he's an incredibly under-appreciated actor. (Plus, have you ever heard him sing? Check out the remake/spoof of Reefer Madness with Kristen Bell when you get a chance. You will not be disappointed.) And that speech that Ezekiel delivers to his mother about why he stole and how he's an artist, so he didn't care about keeping any of the stuff he stole. ::chef's kiss::

... And the Hidden Sanctuary (s4, ep8) Why? -- I think what I love most about this episode is the idea of Cassandra working alongside the little boy to solve the mystery as to why the town never has any accidents and seems so perfect. Usually it's Cassandra who would be the first to notice something is off, but it took the little boy to bring it to her attention. Which in a way reveals how the curiosity of youth is still as valuable as any other form of intelligence. Adding to that, a part of me wanted the town's councilman to get what was coming to him for trapping a fae. If you know absolutely nothing about the occult, witchcraft or ancient faiths, know one thing: Don't f*ck with the fae. I was ready for her to get her revenge, and I can't say that I blamed her at all. Seriously, kids. DFWTF.

... And the Happily Ever Afters (s2, ep9) Why? -- OK. I don't know what I love about this one. It's the precursor to the season finale, but I kind of wish they had stayed in this alternate reality for a little while longer. It was just so cute to see how each team member was living their idealized lives, but also working together as a team without even questioning it. Yeah, yeah, I wanted them to stop Prospero too, but I also wanted to see them go about these AU lives for a little while longer. Plus, I really liked David S. Lee's Moriarty. So much so that I was actually rooting for him and "Duchess" to stay together instead of her being in a relationship with Flynn. I thought Rebecca and David had more chemistry than Rebecca and Noah, frankly. But either way, I really liked this episode for pretty shallow reasons. I thought the resolution was a little too cheesy (the part about claiming your other/real life to the totem pole), but overall, it didn't take away from what I liked the most. Also, Christian Kane runs kinda funny. :-P

... And Some Dude Named Jeff (s4, ep10) Why? -- This is my absolute favorite episode of the entire series, and it bugs me that it's the 3rd to last episode of the entire series. It's like the writers gave me what I wanted most -- a Jenkins-focused episode -- and then said, "That's a wrap!" Sure, all good things must ... you know the rest. Then, I found out that Lindy Booth directed this episode, and now I love it even more. It really was perfection from start to finish, and we got to see John Larroquette do what he does best: Steal. The. Mother. F*ckin'. Show. He was hilarious at just the right moments; angsty and forlorn in just the right measure; and sincere and charming in just the right way. Granted, the villain seemed more scary in absentia than he did when he finally appeared on screen, but who cares? This was all about Jenkins ... and some dude named Jeff.

OK. I think that's all I have for this post. It's already hella-long. I thought I was going to share my top 10 favorite episodes, but it turns out the other 3 were really just ones I liked in terms of quality and execution, but I don't think I'll re-watch them over and over again like I would these 7 episodes I listed above. That, or I really just like those other 3 faves because of the scenes with Jenkins.

Alright, I'll leave dear readers be. But don't be surprised if I suddenly start reblogging a lot of old memes and posts about the show, especially ones that focused on Jenkins/Sir Galahad.

And probably an entire post gushing over Jenkins and John Larroquette in general. So yeah, watch this space.

[transgenderer]

Ok. Lets say I buy that youre presenting as you truly "feel inside". How is separating trans women from womens sports (where high school age males regularly outperform olympic level females) or prisons causing violence to the trans women? And if it is, is it causing more or less violence to the women raped in jail or denied scholarships or assaulted in changing rooms?

hmm. i wanna break this down into pieces

first of all, my personal experience doesnt really accord with the idea of transness expressing who i am inside. i think of it more in like...lower-level terms? like, i experience immense discomfort ("dysphoria") when seen/referred to as a guy, or when i percieve myself as having features that would cause people to see me as a guy. i take hormones to modify those features, and ask people to use she/her, etc for similar reasons. ANYWAY

okay, so first of all...i dont really care about the sports issue! i have a lot of trouble caring, basically at all. my defense of the pro trans-women-in-womens-sports positions comes from the fundamental arbitrariness of the categories involved. theres no particular reason to separate sports into mens and womens, instead of say, short and tall, strong and weak, or even categories that dont really affect performance, like black and white, blue eyed or brown eyed, left handed or right handed. people like watching sports, so we have a system to organize them, and at some point people decided men and women shouldnt compete against each other. but like....it doesnt have to be that! is it any more fair that a short guy cant get a scholarship for basketball than this hypothetical cis girl who cant get a scholarship because shes been beaten by a trans girl? i dont feel like it is! the whole sports scholarship system is kind of dumb

i feel like the sports issue isnt really about sports? like, sorry, but nobody cared about womens sports already. i mean i dont care about any sports. but people who care about sports care about mens sports. because of sexism or whatever. so it FEELS to me like the role of gender-in-sports is much more about public signalling/consensus-building about who counts as a woman

okay, so now that weve got trivialities out of the way...prisons. prisons are fucked up, i think having a penal system is important but prisons are such cesspits of rape and abuse and suffering. trying to apply harm-reduction considerations to prison policies is weird, because theyre systems that are just...totally uninterested in harm reduction, that actively choose harm increasing. but lets try anyway. i think, pretty inevitably, an out trans women who is sent to a mens prison for longer than...idk, a couple weeks(?) is going to be physically or sexually assaulted, just...as a certainty. theres a lot of men who are aggressively hostile towards trans women, and it only takes one among the whole population of people who interact with her for there to be a bad incident.

heres my argument for why putting trans women in womens prisons is probably harm reduction, even if you assume trans women are just as dangerous as cis men. imagine if 1 in 10 men want to assault a trans women, and 1 in 10 trans women want to assault a cis woman. (i think this is pretty generous to your argument!). if you put the trans woman in mens prison, she interacts with enough different men that she definitely gets assaulted. if you put the trans woman in womens prison, there's a 90% chance nobody gets assaulted, so unless that bad apple is assaulting TEN cis women without getting caught, its harm-reduction to put the trans woman in with the cis women.

oh, and changing rooms. changing rooms are crazy! i dont know why we have communal changing rooms. building a bunch of changing stalls is not that expensive. being made to strip naked (or like, to your underwear) in front of a bunch of your peers is terrible, its absurd and awful we make kids do it, we should stop.

[harrypotter-imaginess]

A/N: You can still commission a love letter from your favorite character until 3/10/2021, information is here!

- I’m using Hogwarts mystery for the background here for the relationships because it just makes sense to me

- You know, you’re three kids, sneaking around an ancient castle, in dark corners at a fancy library, trying to break curses

- It’s only natural one -or two- of you catch feelings somewhere in all those late night adventures

- And they both think you’re the most amazing person they’ve ever met

- An absolute original piece, no one else like you in the world

- And while they have both come to realize their feelings for you

- Bill and Charlie are pretty oblivious to each other’s growing feelings for you

- Until one afternoon at the burrow, it’s summer vacation, and you’re on their lawn playing with A 7 year old Ron and a 6 year old Ginny

- “I like them,” Molly says as she peers through the kitchen window, watching the way you pick up Ginny when it looks like she might trip on a tree root

- “I want them in the family” she says, giving a meaningful look to her sons

- “I’m working on it”

- Charlie says at the same time Bill says:

- “I’m planning for that.”

- Charlie’s eyes snap up from his book to Bill, who is looking at him with an equally shocked expression

- Oh

- .

- ..

- ...

- OHHH

- “Well good, that’s twice the odds” Molly says, turning back to whisking her batter

- But it’s only really started for Charlie and Bill

- “So when you said ‘we might have to make you an official Weasley’ -“ Bill starts

- “I was talking about me of course, what did you think I meant?”

- “Well I thought you meant me!!” Bill just thought Charlie liked you as a friend, and that he was supportive of Bill’s new romantic pursuits

- Bill’s been quite obvious about his attraction to you

- He figured Charlie knew

- Bill pinches the bridge of his nose

- Well this is just a spectacular mess

- And Bill is half convinced that maybe he should just back off, he’s the older sibling after all, it’s just the right thing to do

- Charlie on the other hand is having a existential crisis

- How’s he supposed to compete with Bill?!

- For one Bill is older, and he didn’t inherit these god damn freckles from their Dad so that another plus for him.

- Not to add that Bill got their Mum’s brilliant blue eyes, and their dad’s jawline

- Charlie’s clutching his hair- he hasn’t got a chance

- Who in their right mind would ever pick him when they could have Bill??

- “Charlie you can have them if you want, I’ll back of-“ Bill starts

- “No!” Charlie shouts

- Because the only thing more mortifying than being rejected, is his love rival just giving up for his sake

- Charlie claps a hand on his brother’s shoulders. His eyes glistening with determination

- “We’ll compete for their affection as equals, like men”

- And Bill is so overcome with emotion at seeing his little brother showing such robust maturity that he doesn’t see Charlie’s about a second away from falling apart

- Why did he say that????

- Did he really just say that he would willingly compete with Bill?!?

- Perfect, all O’s, prefect, could charm a Veela with just one look, golden boy extraordinaire, Bill Weasley?!?!

- He’s got no chance

- No, he’s got less than zero chance, he’s got a -15% chance of you, by some miracle, picking the nerd who talks about nothing but dragons and magical creatures, over his hunky, tail end of puberty, older brother

- But he knows he had to do it-

- And not just because it’s the right thing to do for his brother

- It’s just that-

- Well if you do love Bill, and why wouldn’t you really-

- If Bill makes your heart race, and makes you excited for the next day because you know you’ll get to see his face,

- If you feel like you’ve been alive for so many years, but the worlds never looked so colorful before-

- Not until you stood at his side-

- Like everything’s sparkles when you’re with him

- If you feel for Bill, like Charlie feels for you-

- Then he doesn’t want to deprive you and his brother of a requited love just because he’s being selfish

- He just wants you to be happy,

- even if it’s not with him

- Molly thinks the whole thing is pretty funny

- She was half joking when she said she wanted one of her sons to marry you-

- she was half serious though, you would make a nice addition to the family, official Weasley or not

- She watches the two negotiate terms, discuss what the most respectful way for each of them is to court you

- “No taking them into the forbidden forest in the dead of night to try and find dragons, they need to sleep or they’re going to pass out!”

- “That’s fair, you should ease up on the dueling club meetings, they can barely stand upright most days”

- Bill nods

- Molly holds back a laugh, these are the same boys who would fight over who got more chips, measuring each one so they all got the same amount

- She shakes her head

- Her sons are lucky to have someone like you in their life

- Someone who brings out the best in them

- Bill and Charlie are only a moment away from writing up a contract on things they can, and can’t do while pursuing your affection when you walk through the door

- Ron and Ginny are each tugging one of your arms

- “(Y/N)’s going to marry me!” Ron’s yells

- Charlie and Bill both flinch at his words

- “No they’re going to marry ME!” Ginny shrieks

- Molly watches her two oldest children stumble towards you, in an attempt to placate their siblings and possibly stop any more love rivalries from occurring

- “Hmm that’s 4 out of 7, almost 60% chance.” Molly murmurs to herself

- Maybe she should introduce Percy to you too, that would bring the odds up to 70%

[uelden]

Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

[outercrasis]

Sessions

Pairing: College!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Mature (18+)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: References to sex, masturbation (nothing actually occurs)

Summary: After meeting Mando, you just can’t seem to get him out of your head. (events directly follow Introductions)

A/N: Thanks for the kind reception to the first post of this AU! I’ll be making a masterlist soon for easier navigation :) Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future posts or if I’ve missed a warning.

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Lingering Impressions

Your day ended up being an exhausting one. Mando had been your most exciting session for more reasons than just the obvious. You'd reviewed the papers of two freshmen, a junior who wanted you to basically write their paper for them, and another graduate student who disregarded every suggestion you made. Needless to say, Mando's gratitude felt extra special after all of that.

Getting home, you're greeted with the welcome smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen as you throw yourself face-first into the couch. The open floorplan of your tiny two bedroom apartment allows Layla to spot you as you wander in.

"Hello to you too!" she calls over. "I'm making chicken marsala."

You lift your head up from the watermelon-shaped throw pillow to smile at her. "You are a saint and I don't deserve you."

"You totally don't," Layla teases back, happily returning to the stove. You flip over on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone while she finishes making dinner. A comfortable silence fills the room, interrupted only by Layla's hums and the discordant sounds of cooking.

Layla has been your roommate since your sophomore year of college, randomly paired together by the dorm sorting system and inseparable ever since. The two of you clicked, a friendship forged over the awkwardness of early adulthood and a shared love of terrible reality TV. Both of you keep busy schedules while pursuing your respective master’s degrees and help each other out where you can. Making dinners for each other is just a part of that.

It’s not long before Layla brings over two steaming plates of food to lay out on your thrifted coffee table. She sits opposite you, preferring to sit on the floor rather than the couch. You’re eager to dig in, groaning at the first bite.

“I’ll take that as a thank you,” Layla grins, tucking into her own meal.

“God yes.”

“Long day then?”

You groan again, this time in irritation rather than pleasure. “Yes. I don’t know how many more know-it-all grad students I can deal with.”

She’s heard all about your nightmare sessions with students that think they already know everything. You’ve questioned more than once why they bother booking the session if they're just going to ignore your advice and decide their paper is perfect as is. It seems like a total waste of time for both you and them. 

Layla sympathizes and shares her own gripes about some of the assholes she's forced to put up with while working on her research project. After all, no group project is complete without the one person who does nothing but acts like they know everything. Giving each other time to vent another small way the two of you take care of each other.

As you think back on your day and sessions your mind inevitably drifts to Mando. He hadn’t been anything like you’d expected. He was kind in his own way and by far the most amenable session you’d had all day. Not taking off the helmet was odd, as was not giving out his real name, but neither of those had really bothered you when it came down to it. If anything, they only serve to fascinate you further.

“Did something else happen today?” Layla asks, a spark lighting up in her eyes. She can always read you, something that can be either a blessing or a curse depending on what it is you're hiding. You take a few more bites before answering, already anticipating her reaction.

“Well I might have also met Mando today,” You try to throw it out there casually, hoping that if you treat it as though it’s not a big deal she’ll follow your lead. You should have known better.

“You what!? Tell me everything,” Layla screeches at you from across the coffee table. She pushes her food off to the side, clearly deciding that your unexpected meeting with campus's resident celebrity is far more important.

"He came in for a session. His paper was really good, it-"

Layla is quick to cut you off. "I literally couldn't care less about that and you know it. Tell me about him, what's he like? Is he terrifying?"

You can’t help but snort at that. You know why she asked of course - the rumors flying around about him getting out of hand these days - but when you think about him now they all seem ludicrous. The gentle way he spoke to Grogu and offered his hand out to the kid before leaving. The sincerity in his voice as he spoke to you, eager to hear any advice you had to give him. No. Mando was decidedly not terrifying. “He’s… just a guy,” you tell her, not really sure how to explain his unique presence.

The eyeroll you receive in response is warranted. “Are you kidding me right now? You probably know more about him than anyone else on campus and you’re going to tell me he’s just a guy?”

You shrug, shoveling another bite of food into your mouth. “I don’t know what to tell you Lays, I only spent an hour with him. He was nice, really sweet with his kid, and I’ll probably never see him again.”

You’re not sure why you feel a quick sting in your chest at that thought. It wasn’t like you knew him well or that he even owed you anything. Considering the fact that you’d gone weeks without so much as glimpsing him on campus you’d probably only have another chance to see him if he signed up for another session and there was no guarantee he’d return.

“So the kid thing is true?” Layla asks.

“Yeah. Really cute kid, pretty quiet.” Very quiet now that you think of it. You don’t have much experience with kids that young, but you’re certain kids Grogu’s age can talk. He hadn’t said so much as a word, only letting out an occasional noise or two. It was odd, but then he could just be shy or something. Another question you’d probably never have an answer for.

“Is the kid his?” Layla presses.

“I don’t know, it didn’t exactly come up while we discussed his paper on unique material applications,” you snap back at her. You wince a little at your sharp reply. It wasn’t deserved. Layla was simply curious and now the victim of your long day and swirling thoughts.

You quickly follow up with an apology. “Sorry. I just- I had a long day and I really didn’t learn much about him, okay?” 

There’s a small sense of relief when Layla nods, backing down from her inquisition. “It’s cool, I get it. Just promise you’ll tell me if you see him again?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.” 

The rest of the night passes like usual. You wash up after dinner, a fair trade since Layla cooked, and the two of you get to tackling homework that’s begun to pile up with the semester entering its full swing. Nighttime study sessions have been a regular occurrence since your undergrad days and have only intensified while pursuing your respective graduate degrees. It’s more about solidarity and accountability than shared workload, what with your program being in English and Layla’s in Marketing, but it’s nice. Simply having company is better than doing it all by yourself.

Around 10:30 you call it, eyes bleary from staring at your laptop. Layla is deep into a PDF reading so you leave her to her work and shuffle off to the shared bathroom. While the water heats, you brush your teeth lazily, going through the motions of your nightly routine. You test the water with your hand before deciding it’s warm enough to step in.

Your thoughts drift aimlessly as you stand under the hot stream, unfocused until they land back on him. It’s like you can’t help yourself, the way your thoughts have been returning to him all night. You’ve puzzled about him before, but only in the abstract. A hypothetical more than a real person. Wondering if rumors are true isn't quite the same as wondering about the man himself. 

All throughout the night he kept popping up. One moment you would be considering the symbolic use of color in your assigned reading and the next you would be puzzling over Mando’s favorite color. Maybe orange, if his gloves were anything to go by. Layla's favorite song played and while she sang along you couldn't help wondering what kind of music he listens to. Rock probably, or was that too on the nose? As you sipped your drink you wondered what his drink of choice would be, alcoholic or not. Did he even drink alcohol at all? Something told you he wasn’t much for losing his inhibitions.

It's all the little things, all the little details that actually make up a person that no one bothers to speculate about that consume you now. Who cares about his favorite movie or favorite food when you can guess on whether or not he's been to jail?

As you wash the grime of the day from your body, your mind continues to drift further, settling onto the first thing that captured your attention earlier today. His hands. Those gorgeous sun soaked hands, how fluidly they moved across his keyboard. The firm hold of them when he shook your hand.

Eyes fluttering closed, you can't help imagining that it's his hands skating across your skin. You can almost feel the gentle roughness of them, the way he'd squeeze and hold you - tight, but not so hard that it hurts. Almost unconsciously, your hand begins to drift down your body, only to be interrupted by a pounding on the bathroom door. Your eyes snap open, confusion and embarrassment replacing your fantasy.

"Hurry up in there! I need to pee," Layla yells through the door.

You grumble in response, knowing she can't hear you, but quickly finish your shower. It's not quite as relaxing anymore, flustered by your wanton thoughts. 

Getting back into your room, you check your email before setting your alarms for tomorrow. There’s the usual spam from online stores reminding you of limited time deals, a reminder that rent is due next week (lovely), and a couple generic university emails. Your eyes fall to your new tutoring appointment emails and you flick through them mindlessly to clear them out, knowing they’ll all automatically appear on your calendar. 

Just as you’re about to close out of the app and get some well needed rest, a new email pops through. It’s another appointment alert scheduled for next week. You tap to open it and your heart flutters when you read the name on the form. Mando. No need to wonder about if you’d ever see him again now. You’d be seeing him Tuesday at 3 PM. Somehow you know he won’t miss his appointment.

×××××

Din is exhausted. Between Grogu, classes, and trying to find ways to make money, he barely has enough time to do basic functional adult things. Things like showering regularly, eating more than a required minimum of once a day, or heaven help him sleep. 

He wishes he could afford a regular babysitter, allow himself some occasional reprieve but it's not possible. He makes just enough to keep the bills paid and at least Grogu's stomach full. There's also an ever present paranoia about letting a stranger into his home, much less to watch his son. Only Paz and Cara have ever babysat for him and even that was mostly against his will.

Din slumps onto his couch, exhausted from the long day. He’d found the couch on the side of the road. It’s well worn and has a couple holes in it, but it was devoid of fleas, comfortable, and most importantly, free. His helmet is off, sitting on the kitchen table where he’d left it after getting home from campus. He’s mostly used to it these days, but sometimes it can still feel suffocating underneath the custom bucket. Taking it off at the end of the day is always welcome, especially when Din sees Grogu’s eyes light up at his exposed face.

He allows himself just a moment of rest, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch. Grogu had finally gone to bed, demanding three stories before he fell asleep and Din not having it within him to deny the requests. A small smile rests on his lips, thinking of Grogu's excitement at his mediocre storytelling. He already loathes the day when Grogu won't ask him to read anymore.

There are about twenty other things he should be doing right now other than sitting on the couch. The apartment hasn't been cleaned properly in weeks, dishes are piling up, laundry needs to be done, he needs to find a job for this weekend, should probably find better daycare for Grogu, has an exam to study for, and a paper to finish writing. He should be doing all of that and more, and yet he can't find the will to move. He stays planted firmly on the couch, letting his thoughts drift. A few different ideas and ruminations swirl around, but his mind settles onto one. Her.

She isn't what he had been expecting. When his professor had recommended a session with a writing tutor he'd been a little miffed at first. Din knew words weren't his strong suit, but he hadn't thought he was that bad. He probably wouldn't have even considered it if she hadn't immediately assured him that it was only a suggestion because she saw potential in his work.

He had still only been considering it, form half filled out, when Grogu had hit submit. He’d looked for a way to cancel the appointment, but couldn’t figure it out with the school’s poorly designed website, so instead he had resigned himself to going. After all, just the one session couldn't hurt and he'd already be on campus.

He thought the tutor would be some irritating know-it-all, pointing out all the mistakes in his paper. Either that, or that they'd be too nervous to make any real criticisms. He’d noticed the way people froze up around him, sometimes too timid to even look in his direction. She wasn't either of those things.

She was all smiles and kindness, not hesitant around him for a moment. Even Grogu took an immediate liking to her, as evidenced by the gift of his frog drawing. Din had more of those than he could count, but very few others had been bestowed the honor of his sacred amphibian themed artworks.

She challenged him in a way he liked, not rude but still forceful. Encouraging him to figure out what it was she was guiding him towards with the paper. Not taking ownership, simply identifying where ideas could be made stronger or clearer. They’d only worked through a few pages in the session and Din already felt more confident in his writing. 

What he liked most though was that she hadn't even asked about the helmet. It was all he heard from those brave enough to speak to him. Where did he get it, why did he wear it, did he ever take it off, what does he look like underneath, and so on. Avoiding all of those questions got to be draining. She didn't even acknowledge it.

She had mentioned the rumors that were apparently swirling around campus about him but that was it. He was a bit grateful for that though, entirely unaware of how popular he'd apparently become. The stares that followed him on campus were hard to ignore, but he didn’t know about their accompanying whispers. He still isn’t sure if the rumors are a good or a bad thing. Her reaction hadn’t given him all that much to go off of. He wishes it had.

That thought stops Din short. Where did that come from? Why did her opinion of him suddenly matter after a single one hour session? Din can’t remember the last time he considered someone else’s opinion of him. Probably when he first brought Grogu home to meet everyone. Now here he is, wondering what his English tutor’s thoughts were about the rumors everyone has been spreading about him. He needs to get out more.

Din shakes his head free, trying to ponder other aspects of his life. Like when he’d be able to get the Razor Crest up and running again. She’d broken down again after only the second week of classes. Paz makes fun of him for riding on such an old bike, but she’s a classic. Din can’t get rid of her, no matter how much she likes to break down on him. In the meantime he could make due with the loaner truck from Peli.

Thoughts of his motorcycle only distract him for so long though. He realizes half-way through the fantasy that he’s imagining taking her out on his bike, feeling her hands clasped around his waist as he rides through the city. The way she’d hang on just a little tighter, pressing herself against his back, as he hits the throttle just a bit harder.

Din sits up on the couch and mutters to himself. “Come on, Djarin. Pull it together.”

She’s beautiful, yes, but to already be fantasizing about taking her for a ride? That’s a bit much. It has been months since Din has seen any kind of action, but he shouldn’t be this desperate after spending only an hour with a pretty face. Still, now that he’s thinking of it, his mind wanders to what she’d be like. 

Would she take charge, calm and in control like she was earlier today? Or would she submit to him, allow him to do whatever he wanted? A small groan escapes Din’s lips at the thought of having her beneath him, begging for him to take her. How she would look spread out on his bedsheets, how sweet she’d taste. He can already imagine how good she’d feel wrapped around him, the way her eyes would look all strung out and cockdumb. It would be a beautiful sight if he’s ever lucky enough to see it.

An alarm Din forgot he set suddenly blares on his phone. He can’t even remember what he set it for as he’s yanked from his lewd imaginings, scrambling to turn it off. There’s a small wave of embarrassment as he registers where he allowed his thoughts to drift. 

Ignoring the uncomfortable pressure in his jeans, Din pulls up the tutoring appointment form on his phone and signs up for another session. There’s an option to select a specific tutor and he’s quick to open it up, choosing her name from the drop down menu. 

There’s nothing wrong about this, right? She’d helped him with his paper and Grogu liked her. She even asked if she’d be seeing him again. That was plenty of reason to have another session. His renegade fantasies had nothing to do with his decision to go back. Din is a man in control of his urges. If anything, this next session would prove that his thoughts were all just fleeting, just a simple result of going too long without anyone in his bed.

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