#to be fair i think we have less than 10% chance of any of those happening but. still.

[sailorstarlesbian]

i've been lying to myself all year saying there's sure to be a haruhi season 3 annoncement any day now and i was just struck with the terrible thought of "what if they announce a remake instead"

[bl-bracket]

It doesn't really matter since the lesser known characters usually don't really have a chance in the actual bracket anyway but doesn't your prelim method disadvantage lesser known characters? If I understood your explanation correctly character A might get 20% yes 10% no 70% see results, character B 40% yes 20% no 40% see results. Both would have double the amount of yes compared to no but character B would end up with 20 and A only with 10 right?

Not intended as criticism btw just curious whether you considered this or if I'm misunderstanding your methodology.

No no you're totally right! It's one of those things I have mixed feelings on!

So the method of seeding I've been using does favor shows that are more popular. When I've got two shows with the same number of submissions and both have propaganda, the show with the higher amount of logged viewers on mydramalist will get the higher seed number. Now I've found that the mdl numbers aren't really the best or most accurate indicator of popularity on tumblr, but it's the easiest accessible set of numbers that covers all shows (so far I haven't had any submissions of shows from countries not on mdl, like Vietnam, but we'll jump that bridge when we get to it). Ideally, there would be a comprehensive set of numbers on tumblr that could give an indication of a show's popularity, but I have yet to think of something that doesn't produce a different set of flaws and inaccuracies.

Now: the question is why favor shows with more popularity?

This goes to the traditional seeding practice you'll find all over the place. Where in the first round, the highest ranked team competes against the lowest ranked team and so and so forth. Now this is something I didn't understand for a long time, but I finally did a year or two ago.

Imagine a sport. And you've got two big dog teams, like they're the top of the top. You don't want them to fight in the first round, thus eliminating one of the big champion teams. While this isn't really fair to the other teams, it makes sense. And after all they're going to have to fight the big dogs eventually, might as well do it in round 1 instead of the finals. It's not a perfect system by any means, but especially for the sake of entertainment, ideally the top picks don't fight till the end.

If I don't seed it, it's going to be randomized, which is what I used to do. I would randomize it and then guess who the top competitors would be and try to separate them. But this was even more faulty.

But then this all circles back to the inherent problem of any fan voted competition, it really comes back around to being a popularity contest. I've tried different methods to make it less so (adding propaganda on polls, adding the [see results] option, making it double elimination, etc), but it's built into the system. Most people vote for the characters they like regardless. It's the sad and annoying truth.

I'm sure there are ways I could go about it that would fix some of these issues even more, especially with the seeding and prelims. But so far, most of what I have thought of is even more time consuming than the process already is (for reference, setting up and posting round 1 of a 64 character bracket takes several hours of continuous effort) or makes the polls harder to access (I've thought about having the propaganda above and visible on the polls instead of under the read more, but that will result in a lot of long posts clogging up people's dash with maybe little effect).

And let me be clear, I also have been a victim of my own system. I cannot tell you how many of my favs have lost, either in prelims or the bracket itself, due to being more obscure. It sucks.

I'm always open to change to make things better! But it's also hard to then balance how feasible some of those alternatives are to actually implement and what difference they'll really make.

[boopiddyboop]

ATEEZ Scorpio Analysis

Hello and welcome to quite possibly the silliest post I’ve made to date! I’ve spoken at length about Ateez and the relationship with their Scorpio placements, but for whatever reason, I wish to rank them and find the chiefest Scorpio amongst them. So without further ado, let’s get into it!

Disclaimer: As per usual, traditional astrology and rulership applies. This post especially is just for fun. If you think I’m wrong, feel free to argue in the askbox.

Pre-Game:

So first, I’ll explain the how of the game. We’re going to be measuring the dominance of the three major components the rulership of Scorpio: Planet (Mars), Element (Water), and Modality (Fixed). We’ll be using the very convenient Dominants tab from the Natal Charts available on astro-seek to get our base numbers and weight them accordingly. I did my best to find a “fair” way to account for everything, but there’s a reason they say “lies, damn lies, and statistics”.

Here’s what the table I’m working with looks like, using Ateez’s group natal chart as an example:

I’ve generated one for each of the members, but they're not included with this post so as to not clog up the view. The website itself explains each column and how they come up with the numbers, but in short, significance is given to each planet based on where it is, if it’s being ruled by a sign of rulership/exaltation/etc, whether its in a house of corresponding rulership…  we will be ignoring aspects for this, as some of the birth times we have are approximations, which can lead to incorrect aspect degrees.. 

For scoring, planets will be weighted at 40% of the total, with element and modality each being worth 30%. 

As a refresher for those who don’t keep this information in their brains, here are the Scorpio placements between members:

Hongjoong: Sun and Venus

Yunho: Mars and Rising

San and Mingi: Mars

Wooyoung: Mercury

Jongho: Mercury and Venus

Yeosang and Seonghwa have none, but they have quite a bit of Mars and Water influence, so don’t write them off just yet!

**I am operating this under the assumption that Jongho is a Taurus Rising. I’ll address it more at the end, but ultimately, there wasn’t a huge difference between my top 3 guesses and his final score, so I just ran this with the one.

Round 1: Planets

Who has the most outright Mars influence? Well, this one should come as no shocker:

Yunho and Seonghwa are very close point total wise, but for Yunho, his Scorpio Mars in the first house is his strongest placement by a margin of 4 points (his Taurus Venus coming in second at 10 points), Despite all of his Aries Mars influence clocking 13 points, Seonghwa’s Aries Sun and Cancer Moon are also weighty factors in his totals at 12 points apiece, bumping his point total up, but his percentage down.. San’s Scorpio Mars is actually tied for influence with his Leo Mercury, since it’s ruling his ascendant.

Mingi’s Scorpio Mars is tied for second in his dominant planets with his Leo Sun, but both are overshadowed by his Cancer moon by a mere point. Wooyoung actually has all of 9 points, but as it turns out, his Venus in Libra in the first weighs in at a whopping 18 points (the most points of any member, causing his Mars to only rank 3rd in his dominant planets. Hongjoong’s Jupiter in Pisces is actually doing a lot of the heavy lifting in his influence, but his Scorpio Sun and Mars in Virgo help keep him from falling into last. Finally, Yeosang is bringing up the rear with 6 points being carried by his Aries Ascendant placement

All in all, every member of Ateez has Mars as no less than their 3rd place influencing planet, which is honestly quite impressive. 

Round 2: Elements

Water placements! We’re looking at Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer. No crazy weighing this time, we’re just checking to see who has the most water in their chart.

Most of these rankings are being carried by the plethora of Cancer Moons (Mingi, Seonghwa, and Yeosang), with Hongjoong getting a chance to shine by virtue of his Scorpio Sun/Venus and Pisces Jupiter. Almost everyone actually has water as their top element or is tied for top, with San and Wooyoung being Earth/Water and Air/Water

... except Seonghwa, who despite getting second place, is strictly fire dominant.

(And now I’m laughing because a whole bunch of water dominants debuted with a pirate concept 😂)

Round 3: Modality

Easy peasy, we’re looking for fixed signs in the natal placements + ascendant. For a refresher, these are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius.

San’s Leo and Taurus placements clench the win for San in this category, with 5 placements out of 8 being fixed, compared to Yunho and Mingi’s four, though all 3 are fixed dominant. Meanwhile, this is where Seonghwa finally gets penalized for all of his Aries/Cancer energy, as his only fixed placement is his Aquarius Venus. Hongjoong and Jongho both have predominantly Mutable placements, while Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Seonghwa have significant Cardinal energy. 

A note on Signature Signs:

If you take the natal 7 plus ascendant and calculate the most modalities and elements (not the same way as the Round 2), some people will end up with a signature sign. Of the Ateez members, 5/6 out of 8 (Jongho being a maybe) actually manage to snag one: 

Hongjoong has a Pisces Signature (3 Water + 4 Mutable) 

Seonghwa and Yeosang both have Aries Signatures (4 Fire+5 Cardinal and 3 Fire+5 Cardinal respectively).

Yunho has a Scorpio Signature (3 Water+4 Fixed), 

San has a Taurus Signature (3 Earth + 5 Fixed)

Jongho (w/ an assumed Taurus Rising,) is a Gemini Signature (3 Air + 3 Mutable). 

Mingi and Wooyoung both have ties in their elements, with a 3/3 split on Earth/Water for Mingi, and 2/2/2/2 for Wooyoung across all elements. 

I couldn’t figure out how to weigh Yunho's bonus Scorpio Signature into this contest, but in the end it didn’t matter…Because the grand Scorpio of Ateez is still Yunho

Final Scores:

Yunho was the only member to get Top 3 in all 3 rounds of scoring, and really his Mars strength from round 1 could not be surpassed. In my attempt to make this fair, I tried different ways of weighing this (33% even, 50/30/20, etc.) and Yunho comes out on top every time. But once again, Scorpio Rising ruled by a Scorpio in Mars- was there ever any doubt? 

By this weighting, Mingi and San tie, but if you switch to 50/30/20 Mingi squeaks out above San, while 50/25/25 has San edge out Mingi. Ultimately I’m fine with the weighting I landed at, as I think it’s pretty clear that these 3 are leagues ahead of the rest. Hongjoong and Seonghwa will actually tie in 50/30/20, but for the most part Hongjoong sits above Seonghwa. Meanwhile Wooyoung never clears last place, with Jongho and Yeosang sitting somewhere above him.

Final Tidbits: 

-Now, as previously stated, a Taurus Rising for Jongho is just a guess, but with the exception of a Scorpio Rising (which I ranked at 5/12 for likelihood), the top 3 rising options sit at about the same place in the chart, so I went ahead and kept Jongho on here. I have all 4 on my master document that I will post at the end

-If you run Ateez’s group natal chart against all the members, it often will rank even higher than Yunho, depending on the weighting.

-I’ve included my own Scorpio ranking in the master document. Do with that as you will. 

If you’ve made it to the end of this, I greatly appreciate you and your time. Hope you’re having a wonderful Scorpio Season!

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I’m so sorry but I gotta jump in as a guy who’s normal about warrior cats to offer some ideas that are mostly vibe and less similar to their real names:

For Lucy, Frostwish is honestly perfect but something like Echofrost could be nice- also the -heart suffix is often for very noble cats but Frostheart reads a little weird so I’d go with Flurryheart or something in that case

others: Frostflame or Flurryflame, Shiverheart, Brightfrost

For Kipperlilly, I like having Lily somewhere in the name because lilies are horrendously toxic to cats, also she needs four syllables it’s non negotiable. She’s Mad so there’s a fair chance of her getting a -claw name but I don’t really like that for her, I kind of am partial to Flicker as a prefix both for sound and because it’s sort of associated with fire (any name associated with the colour red would also be good for this reason)

various ideas: Flickerpetal, Cinderlily, Ripplewhisker

Ivyshade is also really good and Ivy is just already a great prefix, my only other ideas would be variations on that— Fernshade, Ivythorn, Ivydusk

Berrybee is 10/10, only other ideas is Bumbleberry

For Oisín I’m with you on the storm stuff, naturally— Stormclaw keeps it simple, otherwise Adderstorm to keep a reptilian element. Bonus: Oisín means “little deer”, it’s cute to think he got named something like Fawnkit and then got super buff so the leader was just like “uhh Fawnstorm”

Ruben: existing names that give a similar vibe to “hop” would be like,, Spring, Leap, Flight, Step- flight is funny to me because he’s getting mobbed for autographs he’s gotta go- I’m partial to the idea of him getting named Shellkit and later receiving an emo suffix but I don’t know what that would be jfjjfjdk.

ideas: Shellfang, Shellsong, Hopleap, Whistlespring (wait no that’s gorgug), Whistleflight

Buddy,,, hoo buddy. He’d be given a Sun name more than likely, Dawn or Sun or Ray or something, I kind of like the idea of Sundapple (patchy sunlight, wavering faith) but it sounds like a juice flavour. Risingdawn, Dawncloud, Sunfall, Lightseed

Bonus round: Kristen as Applebee for the meme, Porter rising to power as Shatterstar, Fig as Houndheart because German shepherd mode

bonus bonus: kipperlilly would hate to be average and unremarkable. Imagine she gets a suffix like -fur or -tail or -pelt

you and me discussing warrior cat names.

THESE ARE ALL SO GOOOD. and YES i had thought about the -heart suffix, but i agreed it seemed like. well. it seemed like an insult. cold-hearted. but flurryheart is soo cute.

and all of your alt kipperlilly names... all so good.... this is the one universe where she wont be bullied for her name. WE ALL HAVE NAMES LIKE FLICKERPETAL!!!

and omg. fawnstorm is adorable.

and omg i didnt even think abt tying in his beach era. shell is such a cute prefix for him. it also makes me feel like all of the rat grinders are in riverclan tbh. because the bad kids are sooo thunderclan coded right. and so au where tbk and trg are just fighting over sunningrocks. (btw sunningrocks belongs to riverclan idgaf. THEYRE USING IT TO HUNT!! THOSE THUNDERCLAN FUCKS JUST WANT TO SUNBATHE!!!)

also sundapple does have such a cool meaning but ur right it is soooo juice coded JKNHGH.

and ohg my god waaittt. me when Phoenixstar (aguefort) renames Graystone (porter) into Shatterstone after a brutal injury .... and then Shatterstone and Shimmerdust (jace) kill him.... and Shatterstar rises to power...

[ssaalexblake]

Out of curiosity, do you think anything in particular will cause people to come around on 13, or it’ll just be that their perspectives kinda soften with time?

Hm. I don't really think there will be a particular event that'll cause people to suddenly change their perspective, the only way I see any kind of ~catalyst to changing opinions on 13 in a dramatic way is if RTD really does Whedon himself, and to be fair even thought I said i doubt there will be a catalyst, I genuinely think there's at least a chance he will actually do this because fandom is a fickle beast that will turn on people as if a bird on the wind. The fatal mix of hero worship and nostalgia, the time gap where fandom has had More than enough time to become attached to their own view of things were back in the day even if that view doesn't entirely mesh with what actually transpired. The passage of time leaving viewers nowadays far less forgiving of the type of things rife in his work that can be written off on 'product of its time' for 2006 but will not be if they show up again in 2023. The expectations being So high. People only have So much ability to write things off before the straw breaks the camel's back.

I have seen this pattern in fandom before, and yeah it might not happen, but this is also potentially whedon after the first avengers movie being everybody's best buddy straight to being their most disdained after aou.

Generally speaking, when shit like that happens, people tend to reassess preconceived notions. a 'why did we think that one was ever bad?' as a result of the above eventuality is the only way i see some kind of Thing happening that softens people on 13.

But, also, those tags was me kind of responding to the op's tags on their gifset, because despite the fact that the people on the internet have been sipping the nmd's misogynistic koolaid light without even realising it for years, the vast majority of viewers Not being chronically online haven't been doing that and were fine with her era. Judging her popularity only from the people obsessed with the show on the internet is absurd, and i include my positive views in that. I am not the average viewer lol, neither are the weirdos being hateful, no matter How much it benefits them to make people think Everybody hates it and that they're peddling the Bestest Opinion and that it's not cool to like the girl doctor.

So with the caveat that I do not think she's actually unpopular (radiotimes favourite doctor poll my beloved. 10 & 13 coming in highest with 21% of the vote each. Over 50,000 votes in total and he received only abt 90 more than her. There was no way to victimise anybody on this poll with strategic voting, no amount of block voting to support one doctor could dent her total and she came second out of all the doctors by a few measly votes. The general public Like Her.)

In time, it will soften. The misogynists will stop spending all their time talking about how uncool it is to like her to peer pressure people and the ones who don't eventually stop will be marked as losers obsessed with insulting her not worth listening to, so people will just watch it with no one sitting on their shoulder telling them it's bad. People will rewatch it with an open mind instead. I literally have had (multiple times) people in my activity page saying once they stopped listening to people saying how bad 13's era was and went back to it with an open mind it was good! This was a few different people! This has already happened and will continue to.

The nmd squad, quite successfully, were allowed to make it uncool to like her. They were open that their reasoning was misogynistic and even if they didn't use the word, anybody who knows what that means knows they are, but it was not called out as such and it poisoned the well because it gave them legitimacy they did not deserve. It won't stay that way forever, though. People will watch it and judge it Fairly without their influence. Let it have flaws without using them as an excuse to express hatred they already felt for no reason. Let it shine where it shines. Discuss its issues analytically instead of as a gotcha. Talk about themes. Discuss the characters.

This bullshit shall pass, basically.

idk how long we'll have to wait, but i'm willing. I got through being in the fandom and open about my love for it when it aired, and i sure as hell am not missing the moment when people stop being weird and can just be normal about it. I earned that sense of peace through suffering and i intend to collect. I'm not letting it go though. Being an active fan Really Really Sucked.

(shout out to my man colin baker who told the misogynists to get over it from points A to Z. Had everybody had the balls to do what he did they'd never have gotten a foothold and would have been booed out of the room as they should have been.)

[bilbotargaryen]

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you so, so much for the tags @errruvande and @lord-aldhelm I LOVE YOU for all the tag games ngl you rock <33

I'll have some trouble answering some of those but lets get to it, shall we? :D

My AO3

1. How many works do u have on AO3?

I have 6! And I hope there'll be a lot more soon xD I regret all the time I've wasted over the past years where I could've written more but I'll try not to linger too much on that (Keyword is try lol)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

75,546

3. Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

1. Fire Made Flesh (39) 2. The Family Dinner (27) 3. Starbucks - A College Experience (18) 4. The Widows Bite Back (11) 5. What could and never should have been (7)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I am super bad at interactions so I am always anxious if I responded well but I do respond to every comment. Sometimes answers take some time if I have to process something for longer though. I love to hear from my readers and I love talking about my works and I believe if something has taken the time and effort to write something about them it's only fair to respond :)

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Since I (so far) only have two finished fics (not counting the OS Collections), I'd say The Widows Bite Back. (Wanted to put a Question Mark there but no it's pretty angsty I'd say xD)

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

BAHAHAHA. Okay. That's a harder one. Again, don't really have a any finished fics going into that direction. I believe I can give you a less angsty than the angstiest one so....The Family Dinner? lmao I need to write a happy Fluff fic (Mayhap about Hvigon *snickers and runs away*)

7. Do you write crossovers?

I. ADORE. CROSSOVERS. I have too many. My current obsession is Vikings x HotD. But I am also EXTREMELY interested in Vikings x TLK because I want AND NEED to see TLK!Alfred absolutely DEMOLISH the Ragnarssons. (Search your heart, you know it to be true) I have so many lying around. My HUMONGOUS AU is a Multi-Crossover of MCU x SPN x Good Omens x Norse Mythology x Tokyo Ghoul. BIGGEST Monster in the room with us ngl. Otherwise, the Starbucks Fic is a MCU x SPN x The Boys Crossover, then I had thoughts on a SPN x Witcher Crossover, and loads more, but I'll stop here... xD (it already got out of hand, but I'll stop here)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet. But I am scared. (But I am always scared so yeah)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have started writing smut rather recently and am still very new to it, but hope I can finally strangle my inner priest (sry father). I so far only did Slash smut. I am sry if the joke is offensive, I cope with bad humour.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. (Shamelessly copying that answer)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of. (Shamelessly copying that answer, again)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did have a Whatsapp group for fic writing with a friend but we've never published it nor have we finished it. It was very, very on crack. It was an MCU x The Dome fic where the Villain was a German fitness coach who is kind of a meme in our country...let's say we had a great time xDD

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have several. Most of them are made up by me. I am so unrelatable. BUT I therefore decided to give you two: One of mine own creations: Hvigon (Hvitserk x Aegon) (I really cannot not put it here, you'd know I'd be lying) One of the 'normal' ones: Stucky (Steve x Bucky) (I am a sucker for tragic gay couples what can I say) Fuck I have so many and cannot decide MOVING ON

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

My AU is so huge and I am afraid to even post the first part I've finished already so...yeah...chances are I just finish the Timeline and the Database and the Lorebook and post those as my legacy before I ever post OR EVEN FINISH that one ksksksks

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don't really feel I can be the judge of that, honestly, I'd let my readers be the judge of that. But since it's asked, I feel like I am good at writing dialogue. Snappy exchanges, double meanings, innuendos (occasionally, not always). But, yeah, I don't really know about that for sure.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. When I write I practically have the scene playing in my head and see everything and focus only on whatever the focus actually is and later realize I have not lost one word about the place or about the characters' appearance xD

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I LOVE IT. When it makes sense. It's hard to make it make sense. I learn languages in my free time and at college and with foreign languages it is more usual to just understand gibberish if one doesn't speak them and if a character speaks in a different language they know they'd naturally understand it themselves so...yeah, I have a huge problem with keeping things realistic xD But I actually love it when it's done - and maybe I should loose some of my thoughts about it lol

18. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

For Fandoms - The Last Kingdom. I don't know why but I don't feel like I know the characters well enough to do so just yet... LotR - I have talked to @errruvande about one of my ideas and I really would like to write that ngl Vikings - I mean I am kinda writing for that one BUT (hear me out): A non-crossover fic (yeah, I know, completely unheard of). I have a few ideas (among them a complete rewrite starting from Season 4b) but I am trying to concentrate on my active projects rn xD And for ships - I have a lot of them I'd love to write fics for. Again, most of them from my own creation (Deaniel (Dean Winchester x Daniel (OC)), Starlight (Peter Quill x Balder), (Loki x Caterína), just to list a few). For 'normal' ships I feel like I want to put Bagginshield here...I don't know why. It's something in my stomach that makes me want to do so...maybe it's nostalgia...idk. There are safe others too but I cannot think of any rn

19. What's your favorite fic you've written?

I really like Fire Made Flesh. Although it's not exactly the Hvigon Fic I had in mind it has become it's very own thing, surprised me on several occasions and already gave me lots of opportunities and challenges to improve my writing and plotting skills! Let's see if that holds up until the end xD

Once more, thank you SO MUCH for the tag <33

Whoever sees this and wants to join in pls do <3

[justwosothings]

I think the ticket prices are fair. They have 4 season games at the Bridge this year. They never used to do that? Should they charge the same as if those tickets were in Kingsmeadow but it costs maybe 10 times more to have the game at the Bridge? They can’t. In that case they won’t be able to play games there.

I looked up the prices because I kept seeing everyone saying all tickets are now incredibly expensive. You can go to all 4 games at the Bridge for £50. Imo that’s a very affordable price. Or all 4 games for £170 for the best seats. Tickets at Kingsmeadow are still around £10-20. For the Stamford Bridge games there are lots of tickets avaliable for £15, £25 or £35. Not all of them are £50. I’ve sat in the upper stands before and you have a great view from there.

I don’t expect to watch football front row at Stamford Bridge for almost no money. I don’t think any fans should, just because it’s women’s football. How are we going to discuss, ask and hope for better salaries, better facilities, for women’s teams to be financially self sufficient to a higher degree, if we don’t value the product enough to pay for it? We can’t then.

I think the way forward is Chelsea have to try and host games outside of Kingsmeadow. It only takes a bit more than 4,000 people. They can sell a lot more tickets than that for a lot of games. I don’t care if it’s not every game or not full in Stamford Bridge right away. You have to start somewhere and try if women’s football is to have any chance of making money. Which it must for the sport to survive. Or Chelsea will be where Lyon is in a few years. Selling off their women’s team to the highest bidder after 15 years of hard work to be the best.

They shouldn’t give away the tickets. It shouldn’t be less than half price compared to the men’s team. Chelsea do offer a range of prices. We have options. It’s not Chelsea’s job to make sure everyone can afford a front row seat in the Bridge without making a single priority. Their job is to try to make a profit. Our job as customers is to prioritize how to spend our money. I also think there is no precedent. The women’s team has barely played at Stamford Bridge at all, in years. I think they’re trying this now, and after this season they’ll evaluate. But they’re not making it impossible to come to their games. A lot of tickets are still very affordable.

I probably didn't explain myself very well.

I think individual ticket prices are where they should be and don't disagree at all with all that you've said I completely agree.

I never said they should give away tickets I just think they could've thought about the season tickets better. I think firstly it was just bad communication from them because they day the season tickets came out it was like oh hey btw we're doubling the price and not only do you not get tickets to Stamford Bridge home games but league cup isn't included now either. So I think a lot of people were rubbed the wrong way from the start.

But for me it's more it's actually the maths of it is off with the season tickets. Like you said Kingsmeadow games are £10-20 which is absolutely a good price. A season ticket is £120 for 7 games. And now that league cup and bridge games aren't included you could actually buy individual tickets to all games cheaper. So it's just a weird one. I personally think a better angle would've been to figure out a way to include Stamford Bridge. For eg if cheapest ticket is £15 then find the right price to include that in the season ticket. Then I think they could do something good like instead of what they used to do by giving you a ticket they could say here's your £15 code for Stamford Bridge and fans can either exchange that for a £15 ticket or use it towards a £50 ticket. I just think the way it was done made a lot of people chose either or.

Also, I think the Chelsea email recommended what package to get for essentially supporters club or season ticket holders for good atmosphere and like you say that package was more than the price of a season ticket like £170? Which for me personally (also I'm a bit of a unique situation since I know I won't make all the games) that didn't make sense and it makes more sense for me to maybe just pick on game there and pay the higher price for one if thats what I want. I actually didn't notice there were £50 packages which is decent. Again I think that was probably more a communication thing.

I think they just poorly executed the season ticket this year and brought in a whole lot of changes at once and a whole lot of games were cut off of it. But like I said I do think £120 is fair and understandable I just think they came at it with the wrong approach. Also I think my £15 code thing is genius so please use this Chels lol

[sirfrogsworth]

Wowwwww, 23 people won things!

The NCAA alone has 230,000 athletes. Do you not realize how tiny 23 people is compared to the totality of women's sporting?

And do you not realize all of your arguments are just you making shit up?

Who is this imaginary athlete that was only beaten once and then won 10 other times? I ask for actual examples and the first thing you do is imagine one.

So let's move past your imaginings and check out your extensive list of 23 trans athletes.

The first individual competitor on the list seems to be Molly Cameron.

In 2021 she placed 1st a grand total of one time! That is much less than 10 times.

She also placed 34th, 37th, 40th, 44th, and did not even finish the race 3 times.

SO DOMINANT!

Who else is on the list?

There is Jamie Hunter. Who plays billiards.

Really? Billiards?

Victoria Monaghan! She plays darts! I'm sure that male puberty she went through really gave her the edge in throwing small pointy things.

You also posted Mary Gregory. I will say, I am not very familiar with how weightlifting competitions work. It seems she was lifting alone in her weight class and was uncontested. She won 9 out of 9 events... against herself? Maybe someone can clear up that confusion. However, if you go by the overall rankings in those events, the best she did was 8th. And in her last two competitions, she ranked 30th and 44th overall. Many women were ranked higher than her.

Unfortunately, I could not find extensive records on most of the athletes on this list. The only athlete that comes even close to your "lose 1 and win 10" statement is Austin Killips. She won 1st place in 7 out of 31 cycling races over 3 years of competition. But she lost badly in quite a few races as well. Do a lot of dominant athletes who only lose once place 19th? Or 12th place? Several times? Austin has lost more than she has won.

I am just not seeing this rampant unfairness.

And 2 was not a logical fallacy. Perhaps I was not clear enough, but I think people still understood what I meant.

There are plenty of sports records that have gone long periods without being broken. What I was asking is if there are any trans athletes that currently hold a world record that has yet to be broken?

And are there any trans athletes that have held a record for a significant amount of time?

That is nothing like proving the existence of God. Like, you can just google it.

Every trans world record I could find has been defeated within months.

"trans women do not need to be better than every female athlete to have ever existed in order for their competition to be unfair. What an absurd statement."

Do you not understand sports? A winning streak is a very common statistic tracked in most sports. It can be a sign of a well-performing athlete or it could be a sign of cheating. If a trans athlete had an impressive winning streak, that could be a sign of the rampant unfairness you are claiming. 23 people winning 1 time is not very convincing.

Why don't we simplify this argument a bit?

What is fair?

That's the crux of everything. You all need to define what fair competition is.

Or you could at least define what is unfair. What quantifiable competitive variables can you identify that would constitute unfairness in competition?

You heavily implied that losing 1 and winning 10 is unfair.

Yui Susaki lost 0 and won 72. If that 1 and 10 metric is what you consider unfair, then there are a lot of cisgender athletes that qualify and no trans athletes (that I could find) that do.

Here is what I think is reasonably fair...

If trans athletes can be beaten with consistency, if they are not setting world records that cannot be broken within a reasonable time frame, and if they do not have ridiculous winning streaks... I think that shows fair competition.

Those three things are what I think of when I think of a dominant athlete.

I think all any athlete wants is a chance to win against their competitor. And after decades of trans people competing, that has never been an issue.

I saw someone passionately arguing against trans teens getting gender affirming surgeries. And it is clear they have researched this to great lengths. And it is clearly a super important issue for them. And they probably talk about it constantly online.

And the frustrating thing I feel is... it isn't happening.

I mean, it is.

But from a statistical point of view, it's not. In fact, these surgeries could increase in frequency by 200% and it would still not be happening.

I think 200-300 top surgeries per year. And maybe 2 or 3 bottom surgeries with very special circumstances.

I can't even imagine what percentage of the population that is.

Compare that to the 230,000 cosmetic procedures done on cisgender 13-19 year olds.

People will say, "Oh well I'm against that too."

But are you really? Are you supporting legislation to stop it? Are you spending hours researching it? Are you having constant debates about it online? Seems pretty low on the priority scale considering it involves like a zillion percent more people.

It's the same with athletics too. My state banned K-12 trans students from participating in sports.

All 8 of them.

People were commenting they could just compete in a special trans league. That was their solution. So a 2nd grade soccer player could maybe do the backstroke against a freshman swimmer.

Good thought. A+ idea.

Also, the NCAA has 226,000 women athletes. Estimates say maybe 100 or so are trans.

You have a higher chance of getting into a car accident on the way to a match than actually competing with a trans person.

I can't remember any other issue that was prioritized this much in the public discourse that involved so few people. It's mind boggling.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Top Three Reasons why NMJ is not a righteousness beacon

Okay screw poking the bear I'll share my possibly controversial Nie Mingjue thoughts below. Long post ahead!

Disclaimer: I don't condone what JGY did to him. At all. I don't condone what JGY did period. But NMJ is not perfectly just and fair in his dealings and I think we should acknowledge that as part of his character (which I love btw, he's very well constructed and having flaws is what makes him interesting)

Number One: NMJ is a hypocrite. The Nie cultivate a path that leads to gradual descent into madness, and is so severe that the resentment built up in their sabers lives on for years.

Knowing all this, NMJ joins the cultivators rallying against WWX and his ghost path of cultivation because it's "corrupting" and "evil" and "unorthodox"? As if your own isn't?! Bffr, Chifeng-Zun.

Number Two. His stance on justice and worth of life is inconsequential

Politically, I understand that defending WWX freeing the Wens would have been problematic, because the Jin made sure there was a consensus of hatred against WWX (and Jiang Cheng did nothing to alleviate any of that when he had the chance to explain why WWX saved the Wens).

And even if the Nie were a great sect as well, the Jin were still most powerful at the time, and the Wen work camp was in their territory (even if the staff was from multiple sects). Plus, NMJ didn't seem to be personally concerned with the fairness of the treatment the Wen had been subjected to... because they were Wens and NMJ had a personal vendetta against them as a collective

Why does this matter? Because NMJ makes it a point to emphasize that he never kills senselessly, for selfish desires or acclaim, and becomes angry enough to be violent when questioned about how he decides who deserves to die by his hand and whether he is certain his reasoning is right (Chapter 10, Volume 2, 7seas).

JGY popped off with this one, even if he rolled down the stairs for it - because he is right. NMJ can't be sure he made the right choice because such a choice is a matter of subjectivity and circumstance. JGY deciding his life is more than important than others' falls exactly in line with that, even if his views don't agree with NMJ's.

And NMJ himself illustrates it as well - he joins in the mob agreeing that the Wens at the work camp deserved to be tortured and killed even if they did not directly contribute to the war:

"Showed mercy how?" Nie Mingjue demanded. "Wasn't the Wen Clan of Qishan the culprit behind the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng's annihilation?"

(...) Nie Mingjue was indifferent to such logic. "She remained silent and raised no objections while the Wen Clan committed atrocities. That is no different from watching from the sidelines"

NMJ himself was merciless and silent to the slaughter of the innocent, even contributed to it - because his own principles told him it was fair to do so. Did he ever listen to anything but those? No. Was it right? Obviously not.

Nowhere in the book is there any Nie convoy sent to scout the Burial Mounds and see that Wei Ying wasn't building an army or a sect or anything the Jin were claiming. Because NMJ couldn't care less, because those were Wens and by his own principles, they needed to die.

And then he parades around as somebody who doesn't kill those who do not deserve it. Very ironic.

Number Three: his judgement comes from a largely privileged position.

Of course he doesn't understand (or even bother to try) what JGY means by his little speech on needing to make sacrifices and following orders to survive in the political realm - because NMJ himself never had to bother with such things.

He was feared and respected from the start as a Sect Leader and had a hard time understanding how life for someone below that rank could be like. He does support JGY as his deputy and writes him a recommendation letter - but that's obviously not enough for someone with JGY's past and the many prejudices against him due to it.

Even as many times as Lan Xichen tries explaining this to NMJ, he only seems to grudgingly listen but not agree. In his worldview, it is merit that should matter when building one's reputation. Reality is entirely different - but how could the son of a noble, sect leader all his life, understand and emphatize with that?

Of course, JGY absolutely did not need to do All That™️, but his struggle to prove himself to his father and the world (backed up by quite a bit of paranoia) becomes clearer if you look at it from the point of view of an outcast with a wretched origin trying to make a name for himself in the world.

NMJ didn't do that. Instead he labeled JGY as a power-hungry, manipulative, self-centered son of a whore and treated him accordingly - distrustfully and suspiciously.

Since JGY was already doing a lot of shady things (re: the Xue Yang issue that NMJ was keen on resolving via execution), having NMJ on his case was the last thing he could have possibly wanted - so, he resorted to the mdzs version of musical arsenic poisoning (because he would have never in the history of ever convinced NMJ he had no ulterior motives).

Again, that does not justify JGY speeding up NMJ's dying process. And JGY fucked around and found out big time about 13 years or so later. But if you look at things his way, what other solution was there for him to not only survive but also thrive in Jinlintai?

Could NMJ have prevented any of JGY's actions? Debatable. Personally, I think not. But he would have probably died later (by not making himself a direct antagonist to JGY and inviting death at his doorstep), and perhaps he could have even managed to prove (at least to Lan Xichen) that JGY wasn't as well-intentioned as he painted himself to be (by running covet investigations or something of the sort).

To conclude, NMJ is symbolic for a privileged class that believes in merit because it has never had to endure prejudice, and that is too divorced from the hardships of the underprivileged to understand them.

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

[seriouslycromulent]

So I finally got around to watching The Librarians ...

After I finished the second half of the latest season of Leverage (aka Leverage: Redemption), I felt the urge to watch something else with the same energy. And what has the same energy of Leverage? Well, The Librarians ... duh.

Now, to be fair. I've tried to get into The Librarians in the past, but I could never make it past the first 3 episodes. Seriously, I've tried to start this series no less than 3 times, and I just kept giving up on it.

Why? Because I found most of the characters too annoying to enjoy it. Mainly Ezekiel, Cassandra and Flynn. And although I know that it takes time for actors to settle into their characters, and begin the journey of growth and change that comes with a solid character arc, I couldn't bring myself to keep watching.

So what changed my mind this time?

Easy. I didn't bother watching the first 3 episodes. 😉 Since I already knew who the characters were, and vaguely recalled how everyone got together, I thought I would just dive in and see how it would go from there.

And it worked! Most of the cast still got on my nerves for the first half of the first season, but it wasn't too long before they started to grow on me -- especially Jenkins.

In true "me" fashion, my favorite character easily became Jenkins / Sir Galahad, and most of my favorite scenes and episodes involve him. But more on him later.

Anyway, that's not to say their aren't plenty of other things I love about the show now. I'm not sure if there is common denominator among my favorite episodes, but here they are and a wee reason about why they're one of my favorite episodes:

... And the Fatal Separation (s3, ep9) Why? -- Three words: Ernie. Reyes. Jr. That's it. That's the reason this episode is on my list. And it's enough. Granted, I don't believe that Christian Kane could last more than 10 seconds in a real fight with Ernie, but the fact that he was the main guest star and was clearly having a great time made me really love this episode. Plus, how hot were Cassandra and Ezekiel posing as black market traders? Their hair and clothes made me want to see them in those roles again in the future.

... And the Reunion of Evil (s3, ep3) Why? -- I pretty much loved this entire episode from start to finish. I loved the conflict, the "creatures of the week," and the development it gave for Jake and Cassie's relationship. It did a wonderful job of balancing humor and drama, and of course, it was just really well executed because ... Jonathan Frakes directed it.

... And the Silver Screen (s4, ep4) Why? -- I know we're meant to love the whole film noir schtick involving Flynn and Baird, but I actually adored this episode for 2 reasons: 1) the rest of the team moving from film genre to film genre in order to help their teammates was funny as hell, and 2) Jenkins working with guest star Gloria Reuben to solve the real mystery on their end. I thought they had great chemistry together, and it made me want to see them interact with each other again in the future. I know that's not possible, but John Larroquette is just so great at creating chemistry with pretty much anyone.

... And the Christmas Thief (s4, ep3) Why? -- Wait. We get Ezekiel backstory *and* Steven Weber as an over-the-top villain of the week? Of course this episode is making my list of favorites! Granted, I'm not a big fan of the Christmas holiday personally, so it also gelled with me in that respect (aka steering clear of how "great" the holiday is), but more so I'm a huge fan of Steven Weber and I think he's an incredibly under-appreciated actor. (Plus, have you ever heard him sing? Check out the remake/spoof of Reefer Madness with Kristen Bell when you get a chance. You will not be disappointed.) And that speech that Ezekiel delivers to his mother about why he stole and how he's an artist, so he didn't care about keeping any of the stuff he stole. ::chef's kiss::

... And the Hidden Sanctuary (s4, ep8) Why? -- I think what I love most about this episode is the idea of Cassandra working alongside the little boy to solve the mystery as to why the town never has any accidents and seems so perfect. Usually it's Cassandra who would be the first to notice something is off, but it took the little boy to bring it to her attention. Which in a way reveals how the curiosity of youth is still as valuable as any other form of intelligence. Adding to that, a part of me wanted the town's councilman to get what was coming to him for trapping a fae. If you know absolutely nothing about the occult, witchcraft or ancient faiths, know one thing: Don't f*ck with the fae. I was ready for her to get her revenge, and I can't say that I blamed her at all. Seriously, kids. DFWTF.

... And the Happily Ever Afters (s2, ep9) Why? -- OK. I don't know what I love about this one. It's the precursor to the season finale, but I kind of wish they had stayed in this alternate reality for a little while longer. It was just so cute to see how each team member was living their idealized lives, but also working together as a team without even questioning it. Yeah, yeah, I wanted them to stop Prospero too, but I also wanted to see them go about these AU lives for a little while longer. Plus, I really liked David S. Lee's Moriarty. So much so that I was actually rooting for him and "Duchess" to stay together instead of her being in a relationship with Flynn. I thought Rebecca and David had more chemistry than Rebecca and Noah, frankly. But either way, I really liked this episode for pretty shallow reasons. I thought the resolution was a little too cheesy (the part about claiming your other/real life to the totem pole), but overall, it didn't take away from what I liked the most. Also, Christian Kane runs kinda funny. :-P

... And Some Dude Named Jeff (s4, ep10) Why? -- This is my absolute favorite episode of the entire series, and it bugs me that it's the 3rd to last episode of the entire series. It's like the writers gave me what I wanted most -- a Jenkins-focused episode -- and then said, "That's a wrap!" Sure, all good things must ... you know the rest. Then, I found out that Lindy Booth directed this episode, and now I love it even more. It really was perfection from start to finish, and we got to see John Larroquette do what he does best: Steal. The. Mother. F*ckin'. Show. He was hilarious at just the right moments; angsty and forlorn in just the right measure; and sincere and charming in just the right way. Granted, the villain seemed more scary in absentia than he did when he finally appeared on screen, but who cares? This was all about Jenkins ... and some dude named Jeff.

OK. I think that's all I have for this post. It's already hella-long. I thought I was going to share my top 10 favorite episodes, but it turns out the other 3 were really just ones I liked in terms of quality and execution, but I don't think I'll re-watch them over and over again like I would these 7 episodes I listed above. That, or I really just like those other 3 faves because of the scenes with Jenkins.

Alright, I'll leave dear readers be. But don't be surprised if I suddenly start reblogging a lot of old memes and posts about the show, especially ones that focused on Jenkins/Sir Galahad.

And probably an entire post gushing over Jenkins and John Larroquette in general. So yeah, watch this space.

[transgenderer]

Ok. Lets say I buy that youre presenting as you truly "feel inside". How is separating trans women from womens sports (where high school age males regularly outperform olympic level females) or prisons causing violence to the trans women? And if it is, is it causing more or less violence to the women raped in jail or denied scholarships or assaulted in changing rooms?

hmm. i wanna break this down into pieces

first of all, my personal experience doesnt really accord with the idea of transness expressing who i am inside. i think of it more in like...lower-level terms? like, i experience immense discomfort ("dysphoria") when seen/referred to as a guy, or when i percieve myself as having features that would cause people to see me as a guy. i take hormones to modify those features, and ask people to use she/her, etc for similar reasons. ANYWAY

okay, so first of all...i dont really care about the sports issue! i have a lot of trouble caring, basically at all. my defense of the pro trans-women-in-womens-sports positions comes from the fundamental arbitrariness of the categories involved. theres no particular reason to separate sports into mens and womens, instead of say, short and tall, strong and weak, or even categories that dont really affect performance, like black and white, blue eyed or brown eyed, left handed or right handed. people like watching sports, so we have a system to organize them, and at some point people decided men and women shouldnt compete against each other. but like....it doesnt have to be that! is it any more fair that a short guy cant get a scholarship for basketball than this hypothetical cis girl who cant get a scholarship because shes been beaten by a trans girl? i dont feel like it is! the whole sports scholarship system is kind of dumb

i feel like the sports issue isnt really about sports? like, sorry, but nobody cared about womens sports already. i mean i dont care about any sports. but people who care about sports care about mens sports. because of sexism or whatever. so it FEELS to me like the role of gender-in-sports is much more about public signalling/consensus-building about who counts as a woman

okay, so now that weve got trivialities out of the way...prisons. prisons are fucked up, i think having a penal system is important but prisons are such cesspits of rape and abuse and suffering. trying to apply harm-reduction considerations to prison policies is weird, because theyre systems that are just...totally uninterested in harm reduction, that actively choose harm increasing. but lets try anyway. i think, pretty inevitably, an out trans women who is sent to a mens prison for longer than...idk, a couple weeks(?) is going to be physically or sexually assaulted, just...as a certainty. theres a lot of men who are aggressively hostile towards trans women, and it only takes one among the whole population of people who interact with her for there to be a bad incident.

heres my argument for why putting trans women in womens prisons is probably harm reduction, even if you assume trans women are just as dangerous as cis men. imagine if 1 in 10 men want to assault a trans women, and 1 in 10 trans women want to assault a cis woman. (i think this is pretty generous to your argument!). if you put the trans woman in mens prison, she interacts with enough different men that she definitely gets assaulted. if you put the trans woman in womens prison, there's a 90% chance nobody gets assaulted, so unless that bad apple is assaulting TEN cis women without getting caught, its harm-reduction to put the trans woman in with the cis women.

oh, and changing rooms. changing rooms are crazy! i dont know why we have communal changing rooms. building a bunch of changing stalls is not that expensive. being made to strip naked (or like, to your underwear) in front of a bunch of your peers is terrible, its absurd and awful we make kids do it, we should stop.

[harrypotter-imaginess]

A/N: You can still commission a love letter from your favorite character until 3/10/2021, information is here!

- I’m using Hogwarts mystery for the background here for the relationships because it just makes sense to me

- You know, you’re three kids, sneaking around an ancient castle, in dark corners at a fancy library, trying to break curses

- It’s only natural one -or two- of you catch feelings somewhere in all those late night adventures

- And they both think you’re the most amazing person they’ve ever met

- An absolute original piece, no one else like you in the world

- And while they have both come to realize their feelings for you

- Bill and Charlie are pretty oblivious to each other’s growing feelings for you

- Until one afternoon at the burrow, it’s summer vacation, and you’re on their lawn playing with A 7 year old Ron and a 6 year old Ginny

- “I like them,” Molly says as she peers through the kitchen window, watching the way you pick up Ginny when it looks like she might trip on a tree root

- “I want them in the family” she says, giving a meaningful look to her sons

- “I’m working on it”

- Charlie says at the same time Bill says:

- “I’m planning for that.”

- Charlie’s eyes snap up from his book to Bill, who is looking at him with an equally shocked expression

- Oh

- .

- ..

- ...

- OHHH

- “Well good, that’s twice the odds” Molly says, turning back to whisking her batter

- But it’s only really started for Charlie and Bill

- “So when you said ‘we might have to make you an official Weasley’ -“ Bill starts

- “I was talking about me of course, what did you think I meant?”

- “Well I thought you meant me!!” Bill just thought Charlie liked you as a friend, and that he was supportive of Bill’s new romantic pursuits

- Bill’s been quite obvious about his attraction to you

- He figured Charlie knew

- Bill pinches the bridge of his nose

- Well this is just a spectacular mess

- And Bill is half convinced that maybe he should just back off, he’s the older sibling after all, it’s just the right thing to do

- Charlie on the other hand is having a existential crisis

- How’s he supposed to compete with Bill?!

- For one Bill is older, and he didn’t inherit these god damn freckles from their Dad so that another plus for him.

- Not to add that Bill got their Mum’s brilliant blue eyes, and their dad’s jawline

- Charlie’s clutching his hair- he hasn’t got a chance

- Who in their right mind would ever pick him when they could have Bill??

- “Charlie you can have them if you want, I’ll back of-“ Bill starts

- “No!” Charlie shouts

- Because the only thing more mortifying than being rejected, is his love rival just giving up for his sake

- Charlie claps a hand on his brother’s shoulders. His eyes glistening with determination

- “We’ll compete for their affection as equals, like men”

- And Bill is so overcome with emotion at seeing his little brother showing such robust maturity that he doesn’t see Charlie’s about a second away from falling apart

- Why did he say that????

- Did he really just say that he would willingly compete with Bill?!?

- Perfect, all O’s, prefect, could charm a Veela with just one look, golden boy extraordinaire, Bill Weasley?!?!

- He’s got no chance

- No, he’s got less than zero chance, he’s got a -15% chance of you, by some miracle, picking the nerd who talks about nothing but dragons and magical creatures, over his hunky, tail end of puberty, older brother

- But he knows he had to do it-

- And not just because it’s the right thing to do for his brother

- It’s just that-

- Well if you do love Bill, and why wouldn’t you really-

- If Bill makes your heart race, and makes you excited for the next day because you know you’ll get to see his face,

- If you feel like you’ve been alive for so many years, but the worlds never looked so colorful before-

- Not until you stood at his side-

- Like everything’s sparkles when you’re with him

- If you feel for Bill, like Charlie feels for you-

- Then he doesn’t want to deprive you and his brother of a requited love just because he’s being selfish

- He just wants you to be happy,

- even if it’s not with him

- Molly thinks the whole thing is pretty funny

- She was half joking when she said she wanted one of her sons to marry you-

- she was half serious though, you would make a nice addition to the family, official Weasley or not

- She watches the two negotiate terms, discuss what the most respectful way for each of them is to court you

- “No taking them into the forbidden forest in the dead of night to try and find dragons, they need to sleep or they’re going to pass out!”

- “That’s fair, you should ease up on the dueling club meetings, they can barely stand upright most days”

- Bill nods

- Molly holds back a laugh, these are the same boys who would fight over who got more chips, measuring each one so they all got the same amount

- She shakes her head

- Her sons are lucky to have someone like you in their life

- Someone who brings out the best in them

- Bill and Charlie are only a moment away from writing up a contract on things they can, and can’t do while pursuing your affection when you walk through the door

- Ron and Ginny are each tugging one of your arms

- “(Y/N)’s going to marry me!” Ron’s yells

- Charlie and Bill both flinch at his words

- “No they’re going to marry ME!” Ginny shrieks

- Molly watches her two oldest children stumble towards you, in an attempt to placate their siblings and possibly stop any more love rivalries from occurring

- “Hmm that’s 4 out of 7, almost 60% chance.” Molly murmurs to herself

- Maybe she should introduce Percy to you too, that would bring the odds up to 70%

[uelden]

Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

[outercrasis]

Sessions

Pairing: College!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Mature (18+)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: References to sex, masturbation (nothing actually occurs)

Summary: After meeting Mando, you just can’t seem to get him out of your head. (events directly follow Introductions)

A/N: Thanks for the kind reception to the first post of this AU! I’ll be making a masterlist soon for easier navigation :) Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future posts or if I’ve missed a warning.

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Lingering Impressions

Your day ended up being an exhausting one. Mando had been your most exciting session for more reasons than just the obvious. You'd reviewed the papers of two freshmen, a junior who wanted you to basically write their paper for them, and another graduate student who disregarded every suggestion you made. Needless to say, Mando's gratitude felt extra special after all of that.

Getting home, you're greeted with the welcome smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen as you throw yourself face-first into the couch. The open floorplan of your tiny two bedroom apartment allows Layla to spot you as you wander in.

"Hello to you too!" she calls over. "I'm making chicken marsala."

You lift your head up from the watermelon-shaped throw pillow to smile at her. "You are a saint and I don't deserve you."

"You totally don't," Layla teases back, happily returning to the stove. You flip over on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone while she finishes making dinner. A comfortable silence fills the room, interrupted only by Layla's hums and the discordant sounds of cooking.

Layla has been your roommate since your sophomore year of college, randomly paired together by the dorm sorting system and inseparable ever since. The two of you clicked, a friendship forged over the awkwardness of early adulthood and a shared love of terrible reality TV. Both of you keep busy schedules while pursuing your respective master’s degrees and help each other out where you can. Making dinners for each other is just a part of that.

It’s not long before Layla brings over two steaming plates of food to lay out on your thrifted coffee table. She sits opposite you, preferring to sit on the floor rather than the couch. You’re eager to dig in, groaning at the first bite.

“I’ll take that as a thank you,” Layla grins, tucking into her own meal.

“God yes.”

“Long day then?”

You groan again, this time in irritation rather than pleasure. “Yes. I don’t know how many more know-it-all grad students I can deal with.”

She’s heard all about your nightmare sessions with students that think they already know everything. You’ve questioned more than once why they bother booking the session if they're just going to ignore your advice and decide their paper is perfect as is. It seems like a total waste of time for both you and them. 

Layla sympathizes and shares her own gripes about some of the assholes she's forced to put up with while working on her research project. After all, no group project is complete without the one person who does nothing but acts like they know everything. Giving each other time to vent another small way the two of you take care of each other.

As you think back on your day and sessions your mind inevitably drifts to Mando. He hadn’t been anything like you’d expected. He was kind in his own way and by far the most amenable session you’d had all day. Not taking off the helmet was odd, as was not giving out his real name, but neither of those had really bothered you when it came down to it. If anything, they only serve to fascinate you further.

“Did something else happen today?” Layla asks, a spark lighting up in her eyes. She can always read you, something that can be either a blessing or a curse depending on what it is you're hiding. You take a few more bites before answering, already anticipating her reaction.

“Well I might have also met Mando today,” You try to throw it out there casually, hoping that if you treat it as though it’s not a big deal she’ll follow your lead. You should have known better.

“You what!? Tell me everything,” Layla screeches at you from across the coffee table. She pushes her food off to the side, clearly deciding that your unexpected meeting with campus's resident celebrity is far more important.

"He came in for a session. His paper was really good, it-"

Layla is quick to cut you off. "I literally couldn't care less about that and you know it. Tell me about him, what's he like? Is he terrifying?"

You can’t help but snort at that. You know why she asked of course - the rumors flying around about him getting out of hand these days - but when you think about him now they all seem ludicrous. The gentle way he spoke to Grogu and offered his hand out to the kid before leaving. The sincerity in his voice as he spoke to you, eager to hear any advice you had to give him. No. Mando was decidedly not terrifying. “He’s… just a guy,” you tell her, not really sure how to explain his unique presence.

The eyeroll you receive in response is warranted. “Are you kidding me right now? You probably know more about him than anyone else on campus and you’re going to tell me he’s just a guy?”

You shrug, shoveling another bite of food into your mouth. “I don’t know what to tell you Lays, I only spent an hour with him. He was nice, really sweet with his kid, and I’ll probably never see him again.”

You’re not sure why you feel a quick sting in your chest at that thought. It wasn’t like you knew him well or that he even owed you anything. Considering the fact that you’d gone weeks without so much as glimpsing him on campus you’d probably only have another chance to see him if he signed up for another session and there was no guarantee he’d return.

“So the kid thing is true?” Layla asks.

“Yeah. Really cute kid, pretty quiet.” Very quiet now that you think of it. You don’t have much experience with kids that young, but you’re certain kids Grogu’s age can talk. He hadn’t said so much as a word, only letting out an occasional noise or two. It was odd, but then he could just be shy or something. Another question you’d probably never have an answer for.

“Is the kid his?” Layla presses.

“I don’t know, it didn’t exactly come up while we discussed his paper on unique material applications,” you snap back at her. You wince a little at your sharp reply. It wasn’t deserved. Layla was simply curious and now the victim of your long day and swirling thoughts.

You quickly follow up with an apology. “Sorry. I just- I had a long day and I really didn’t learn much about him, okay?” 

There’s a small sense of relief when Layla nods, backing down from her inquisition. “It’s cool, I get it. Just promise you’ll tell me if you see him again?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.” 

The rest of the night passes like usual. You wash up after dinner, a fair trade since Layla cooked, and the two of you get to tackling homework that’s begun to pile up with the semester entering its full swing. Nighttime study sessions have been a regular occurrence since your undergrad days and have only intensified while pursuing your respective graduate degrees. It’s more about solidarity and accountability than shared workload, what with your program being in English and Layla’s in Marketing, but it’s nice. Simply having company is better than doing it all by yourself.

Around 10:30 you call it, eyes bleary from staring at your laptop. Layla is deep into a PDF reading so you leave her to her work and shuffle off to the shared bathroom. While the water heats, you brush your teeth lazily, going through the motions of your nightly routine. You test the water with your hand before deciding it’s warm enough to step in.

Your thoughts drift aimlessly as you stand under the hot stream, unfocused until they land back on him. It’s like you can’t help yourself, the way your thoughts have been returning to him all night. You’ve puzzled about him before, but only in the abstract. A hypothetical more than a real person. Wondering if rumors are true isn't quite the same as wondering about the man himself. 

All throughout the night he kept popping up. One moment you would be considering the symbolic use of color in your assigned reading and the next you would be puzzling over Mando’s favorite color. Maybe orange, if his gloves were anything to go by. Layla's favorite song played and while she sang along you couldn't help wondering what kind of music he listens to. Rock probably, or was that too on the nose? As you sipped your drink you wondered what his drink of choice would be, alcoholic or not. Did he even drink alcohol at all? Something told you he wasn’t much for losing his inhibitions.

It's all the little things, all the little details that actually make up a person that no one bothers to speculate about that consume you now. Who cares about his favorite movie or favorite food when you can guess on whether or not he's been to jail?

As you wash the grime of the day from your body, your mind continues to drift further, settling onto the first thing that captured your attention earlier today. His hands. Those gorgeous sun soaked hands, how fluidly they moved across his keyboard. The firm hold of them when he shook your hand.

Eyes fluttering closed, you can't help imagining that it's his hands skating across your skin. You can almost feel the gentle roughness of them, the way he'd squeeze and hold you - tight, but not so hard that it hurts. Almost unconsciously, your hand begins to drift down your body, only to be interrupted by a pounding on the bathroom door. Your eyes snap open, confusion and embarrassment replacing your fantasy.

"Hurry up in there! I need to pee," Layla yells through the door.

You grumble in response, knowing she can't hear you, but quickly finish your shower. It's not quite as relaxing anymore, flustered by your wanton thoughts. 

Getting back into your room, you check your email before setting your alarms for tomorrow. There’s the usual spam from online stores reminding you of limited time deals, a reminder that rent is due next week (lovely), and a couple generic university emails. Your eyes fall to your new tutoring appointment emails and you flick through them mindlessly to clear them out, knowing they’ll all automatically appear on your calendar. 

Just as you’re about to close out of the app and get some well needed rest, a new email pops through. It’s another appointment alert scheduled for next week. You tap to open it and your heart flutters when you read the name on the form. Mando. No need to wonder about if you’d ever see him again now. You’d be seeing him Tuesday at 3 PM. Somehow you know he won’t miss his appointment.

×××××

Din is exhausted. Between Grogu, classes, and trying to find ways to make money, he barely has enough time to do basic functional adult things. Things like showering regularly, eating more than a required minimum of once a day, or heaven help him sleep. 

He wishes he could afford a regular babysitter, allow himself some occasional reprieve but it's not possible. He makes just enough to keep the bills paid and at least Grogu's stomach full. There's also an ever present paranoia about letting a stranger into his home, much less to watch his son. Only Paz and Cara have ever babysat for him and even that was mostly against his will.

Din slumps onto his couch, exhausted from the long day. He’d found the couch on the side of the road. It’s well worn and has a couple holes in it, but it was devoid of fleas, comfortable, and most importantly, free. His helmet is off, sitting on the kitchen table where he’d left it after getting home from campus. He’s mostly used to it these days, but sometimes it can still feel suffocating underneath the custom bucket. Taking it off at the end of the day is always welcome, especially when Din sees Grogu’s eyes light up at his exposed face.

He allows himself just a moment of rest, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch. Grogu had finally gone to bed, demanding three stories before he fell asleep and Din not having it within him to deny the requests. A small smile rests on his lips, thinking of Grogu's excitement at his mediocre storytelling. He already loathes the day when Grogu won't ask him to read anymore.

There are about twenty other things he should be doing right now other than sitting on the couch. The apartment hasn't been cleaned properly in weeks, dishes are piling up, laundry needs to be done, he needs to find a job for this weekend, should probably find better daycare for Grogu, has an exam to study for, and a paper to finish writing. He should be doing all of that and more, and yet he can't find the will to move. He stays planted firmly on the couch, letting his thoughts drift. A few different ideas and ruminations swirl around, but his mind settles onto one. Her.

She isn't what he had been expecting. When his professor had recommended a session with a writing tutor he'd been a little miffed at first. Din knew words weren't his strong suit, but he hadn't thought he was that bad. He probably wouldn't have even considered it if she hadn't immediately assured him that it was only a suggestion because she saw potential in his work.

He had still only been considering it, form half filled out, when Grogu had hit submit. He’d looked for a way to cancel the appointment, but couldn’t figure it out with the school’s poorly designed website, so instead he had resigned himself to going. After all, just the one session couldn't hurt and he'd already be on campus.

He thought the tutor would be some irritating know-it-all, pointing out all the mistakes in his paper. Either that, or that they'd be too nervous to make any real criticisms. He’d noticed the way people froze up around him, sometimes too timid to even look in his direction. She wasn't either of those things.

She was all smiles and kindness, not hesitant around him for a moment. Even Grogu took an immediate liking to her, as evidenced by the gift of his frog drawing. Din had more of those than he could count, but very few others had been bestowed the honor of his sacred amphibian themed artworks.

She challenged him in a way he liked, not rude but still forceful. Encouraging him to figure out what it was she was guiding him towards with the paper. Not taking ownership, simply identifying where ideas could be made stronger or clearer. They’d only worked through a few pages in the session and Din already felt more confident in his writing. 

What he liked most though was that she hadn't even asked about the helmet. It was all he heard from those brave enough to speak to him. Where did he get it, why did he wear it, did he ever take it off, what does he look like underneath, and so on. Avoiding all of those questions got to be draining. She didn't even acknowledge it.

She had mentioned the rumors that were apparently swirling around campus about him but that was it. He was a bit grateful for that though, entirely unaware of how popular he'd apparently become. The stares that followed him on campus were hard to ignore, but he didn’t know about their accompanying whispers. He still isn’t sure if the rumors are a good or a bad thing. Her reaction hadn’t given him all that much to go off of. He wishes it had.

That thought stops Din short. Where did that come from? Why did her opinion of him suddenly matter after a single one hour session? Din can’t remember the last time he considered someone else’s opinion of him. Probably when he first brought Grogu home to meet everyone. Now here he is, wondering what his English tutor’s thoughts were about the rumors everyone has been spreading about him. He needs to get out more.

Din shakes his head free, trying to ponder other aspects of his life. Like when he’d be able to get the Razor Crest up and running again. She’d broken down again after only the second week of classes. Paz makes fun of him for riding on such an old bike, but she’s a classic. Din can’t get rid of her, no matter how much she likes to break down on him. In the meantime he could make due with the loaner truck from Peli.

Thoughts of his motorcycle only distract him for so long though. He realizes half-way through the fantasy that he’s imagining taking her out on his bike, feeling her hands clasped around his waist as he rides through the city. The way she’d hang on just a little tighter, pressing herself against his back, as he hits the throttle just a bit harder.

Din sits up on the couch and mutters to himself. “Come on, Djarin. Pull it together.”

She’s beautiful, yes, but to already be fantasizing about taking her for a ride? That’s a bit much. It has been months since Din has seen any kind of action, but he shouldn’t be this desperate after spending only an hour with a pretty face. Still, now that he’s thinking of it, his mind wanders to what she’d be like. 

Would she take charge, calm and in control like she was earlier today? Or would she submit to him, allow him to do whatever he wanted? A small groan escapes Din’s lips at the thought of having her beneath him, begging for him to take her. How she would look spread out on his bedsheets, how sweet she’d taste. He can already imagine how good she’d feel wrapped around him, the way her eyes would look all strung out and cockdumb. It would be a beautiful sight if he’s ever lucky enough to see it.

An alarm Din forgot he set suddenly blares on his phone. He can’t even remember what he set it for as he’s yanked from his lewd imaginings, scrambling to turn it off. There’s a small wave of embarrassment as he registers where he allowed his thoughts to drift. 

Ignoring the uncomfortable pressure in his jeans, Din pulls up the tutoring appointment form on his phone and signs up for another session. There’s an option to select a specific tutor and he’s quick to open it up, choosing her name from the drop down menu. 

There’s nothing wrong about this, right? She’d helped him with his paper and Grogu liked her. She even asked if she’d be seeing him again. That was plenty of reason to have another session. His renegade fantasies had nothing to do with his decision to go back. Din is a man in control of his urges. If anything, this next session would prove that his thoughts were all just fleeting, just a simple result of going too long without anyone in his bed.

.

.

.

taglist: @honestly-shite​ @booksarekindaneat​ @wonderless-screwup​ @pinkninja200​ @captain-jebi​ @ajeff855​ @leias-rebelion​ 

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[boymeetsweevil]

Call me maybe

Grouping: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: ~6.59k

Warnings/Themes: Club meet-cute AU, 1% angst +99% suggestive fluff, (legal!) alcohol consumption, language, flirting anxiety(?)

Summary: It all started with a stupid drinking game...

A/N: this is the One Direction wattpad-style fanfic that's been haunting me for so long. beware of that and the fact that this is unedited hahaha...

“You know the rules, girls. Whoever wins this round of rock-paper-scissors is It.”

You and your three friends, warm and bubbly from 2 rounds of shots at this point in the evening, assume your battle stances and stick your hands into the center of your table. Four hands make a square over the scattered layer of empty decorative shot glasses from the bar in the club.

There’s an air of electric excitement that comes with this game, lovingly nicknamed Hunter-Gathering. Whoever is It gets a target and has to pursue that target in hopes of bringing ‘home’ free drinks for everyone the rest of the night. But no matter how attractive the target is, you can't ever bring them home.

“Wait, wait!” Lia chimes in. “I can’t be It this time. I did it twice already and my ass still hurts from the last time.”

Dani nods seriously. “Fair enough. That means the odds are upped for the rest of you.”

“So, we’re just gonna ignore that ass thing,” another friend, Alexa, looks around the table with confused eyes.

“Do you actually want me to give you the details?” Lia smiles slowly at her from across the table.

Alexa’s face brightens with her own smile, worry evaporated. “You know what? I don’t! Never mind.”

The game begins and somehow you find yourself the lone rock amongst two pairs of scissors. Alexa and Dani laugh with relief because they don’t have to put in any work tonight. You roll your eyes to the heavens and silently question your karma.

“Are you ready to pick your target?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Dani grins.

She steps forward and grabs a clean face mask out of her clutch bag and wraps it around your eyes, careful not to muss your makeup or hair. Three pairs of hands rest on your shoulders and you let them spin you lightly around a few times. Not enough to get you dizzy but just enough to make sure you don’t know what direction you’re facing anymore.

“Alright,” Dani’s voice sounds out over the music of the club. “Take your pick!”

You stick your hand out blindly and someone unties the makeshift blindfold. Everyone follows the line your hand makes all the way to a tall figure standing by the side of the bar.

He’s probably the most handsome man any of you have seen in a while. There's an intimidating aura emanating from him. You figure it's the understated all-black outfit complete with the heinously expensive watch he's wearing and the sheer height of him as he towers over people near him at the bar.

“Oh my god,” Dani whispers as you all take in the stranger’s face.

“We can finally get top shelf vodka,” Alexa pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Not bad,” Lia hums in appreciation.

“Okay, why is everyone acting like I bagged him already?” Your voice grows high with nerves. “I'm pretty sure I have, like, a 2% chance of interesting him."

“What are you so worried about?” Dani crosses her arms at you. “Just do whatever you did to get those history nerds to help you out that one time."

"This is not the same thing. Those guys parted their hair 90/10 unironically and thought Diva Cups are for when you don't want to hold your pee when you stand in line for roller coasters."

"You're kidding," Lia gasps. You wish you were.

"Well, just pretend he's one of them anyway." Dani suggests, "Every guy is the same."

You can't argue with that logic.

“I mean, I can try flirting with him, but he’s probably so used to people throwing themselves at him. I don’t think anything I do would, like, make a dent, you know?”

“Babe, no. No—listen to me, okay?” Alexa takes you by the shoulders and forces you around so you can see how serious she is.

“Tonight is the last free night of vacation. After tonight, we have less than a day to get over our hangovers, pack up the Airbnb, and then catch our 6am flight back home to start the spring term. Our last night of freedom lies in your hands.”

“But, what if—”

“No ‘but’s. Do you see yourself? Do you see your skin in this fresh white two piece? Have you seen how your tits look in this off the shoulder top? That poor man doesn’t stand a chance!”

Lia murmurs her agreement in the background and Dani mentions something about fearing for the guy's soul. You think about the freakishly good pictures you all took in the stylish club bathroom when you first arrived.

“I see your point.”

You turn back toward the bar to review your target. He sips from a dark green bottle as he looks around at the people on the dance floor between your table and the bar. As he continues to scan the room, he locks eyes with you. You hold his gaze even though your instincts are screaming at you to duck for cover. Surprisingly, he gives a small smile and raises his bottle in salute.

"See, you got the hardest part down already. Just fake the rest until you make it."

You chance a look back in his direction only to catch him staring in the direction of the table. When he catches your gaze again, he whips his head away, cheeks tinging pink under the soft yellow lighting at the bar.

Alexa cackles and starts detailing all the drinks she wants made with the top shelf vodka. Lia and Dani discuss leaving early to go back and clean up the apartment so it’s clean in case you break the rules and bring this guy back for the night.

“Uh, aren’t you guys moving a little fast?”

“Aren’t you moving a little slow,” Alexa counters.

“Hold on, Lex.” Dani turns to you. “You know you don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to, right? Hunter-Gathering is just a game, there's no pressure.”

For all their poking and teasing, you're reminded right then and there that your friends would never put you in a situation where they thought you were actually at any risk. The weight you felt on your shoulders lightens somewhat.

“No, no, I definitely still want to play, I just don’t want you guys to get your hopes up.”

“I believe in you.”

Lia bumps shoulders with you quietly. She’s not the most affectionate, so you know she really means it.

“I’ll do my best.”

You let them tweak you a little bit, fixing stray hairs and wiping away smeared lip gloss and hiking up your skirt, giving you their drink orders, before you grab your purse and phone and push in your stool.

When you finally make it to the bar, he’s in the same spot as you first found him in. He spots you once you get close enough and naturally makes room for you. You set your bag on the bar countertop before hopping up on the empty stool immediately in front of him. The movement causes your skirt to ride up even more and you’re glad you only let Lia hike it up one inch instead of three.

Dani's advice about treating this guy like any other scrub from school reverbs in the back of your head right as the nerves start to set in. With the guys in your art history class, your grade was on the line. There was no room for hesitation when you could barely draw a stick figure, much less write an essay analyzing what an old painting style could tell you about the dairy economy in a certain town like some of your classmates were doing. It was because you were desperate that you were suddenly able to transform into a femme fatale. It also helped that these guys quivered at any interaction with an adult woman.

Tonight's drinks are on the line, you tell yourself. As best you can, you try to trick yourself into entering the same mindset you were in when you would lay on the charm extra thick for the art history guys.

You let the corner of your mouth lift up in a coy smile while you survey the bar. The bartender is moving back and forth quickly to handle the high demand. A second later the girl next to you leaves her spot with a tray of 8 bright pink drinks, practically glowing in the dark. You wonder briefly if you should try to get a round of those for the table.

“—one of those before?”

His voice is deep and pleasant. When you give him a look over your shoulder, you have to suppress a gasp. Up close he's even more handsome. You really have your work cut out for you.

“What?"

"That neon pink drink," he nods back in the direction of the girl who'd taken the cotton candy pink drinks with her. "I was wondering if you'd tried them before."

“No, I haven’t,” you smile, letting your lips part slowly. His eyes dart from your painted eyes to the colored stretch of your mouth and then quickly back up. “Have you?”

“No. But I like to try new things.”

You purse your lips as if in thought, something you've seen other girls do while flirting with guys at school. “You must be pretty unpredictable, then.”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say that.” He stammers a bit and nearly drops his beer bottle trying and failing to put it down. All the intimidation you felt coming from him earlier seems to have disappeared.

“I was just kidding.”

Like it has a mind of its own, your hand reaches out to rest on his arm reassuringly while you continue to laugh at him. His features clear up then and a relieved smile blooms on his face, bringing out an adorable dimple with it.

“You’re teasing me,” he realizes with a good natured huff and steps into your touch.

“You seem kinda fun to tease.” You let your hand linger a little longer before finally pulling it back.

“It’s kinda fun. You're pretty good at it.”

Oddly enough, this isn't as difficult for you as you thought it was going to be. In fact, you find yourself naturally tilting your head and fixing him with an intrigued look from under your lashes. He takes the opportunity to look you over as well, a small smile on his lips.

The personal attention does make you a little nervous despite the fact that it’s positive. So you dig in your purse to avoid looking directly at him for too long and to give your hands something to do. You brush up against a tube of lip gloss, pull it out, and reapply some to your lips.

You look back at him when you realize he’s grown quiet, only to find him following the movements of the gloss brush tracing the curve of your lips, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half-closed like he's in some sort of trance.

Experimentally you press your lips together and then purse them to make sure the gloss is distributed evenly. The man doesn't blink once. Suddenly, all his expensive apparel and large stature aren’t so intimidating.

"Is there something on my face," you smirk.

He slow blinks down at your mouth twice before realizing you're speaking again. His eyes grow wide and he raises a ringed hand to rub at the back of his neck. The movement rustles the hair covering his ears, revealing their pink tips. Cute.

"Just looking."

You laugh a little at him again. He marvels at the way the club lighting dances around in your glossy smile.

"So, how come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well...it's the first time me and my friends have come here."

"I see." He pivots to face you and leans his closest elbow on the counter of the bar. "Are you guys new to the area?"

"You could say that, yeah."

He raises an eyebrow when you don’t elaborate. Without looking away, he raises his hand to signal to the bartender that he wants another drink. When the bartender runs right over, you realize this guy actually might be a big deal. Silently you pull your card out of your wallet as the bartender makes their way over. You figure you’ll have to spend some money before you can really ask someone like him to buy drinks for your table.

"What'll it be,” the bartender asks.

"Two of those pink drinks please," he says and before you can place any order the bartender zooms away.

While the bartender starts preparing the drinks, you turn toward him.

"Who said I wanted the pink drink?"

He grins down at you, a dimple now popping up in each cheek. "Who said it's for you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's for me."

"And what makes you so sure?" He takes a step closer to you.

"Just a hunch," you hum before crossing your legs.

The white fabric of your skirt hikes up your thighs again with the movement. You smooth your palms over the soft material.

"Nice skirt."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I like it," he admits quietly.

"And the top?" You gesture toward the pair of straps on the matching tube top, manicured nails gliding over your décolletage. He wets his lips.

"The top too."

He reaches out one large hand to one of the straps that have fallen over your shoulder. The drag of his fingers against your bare arm as he fixes it makes you shiver. You lament the loss of contact when pulls his hand back.

The bartender arrives with your drinks then, startling the both of you out of the little staring competition that had spontaneously started. The pink drink seems to glow from within, topped with whipped cream and full of little round ice cubes made from some sort of darker rose syrup floating in the liquid like lava in a lava lamp. The color barely prepares you for the thick sweetness that floods your mouth on the first sip.

"Oh, that's kinda..."

He huffs a laugh around his own first swallow and nods in agreement.

"Not what you wanted?"

"It's just really sweet. You like it?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. But—"

The way he cuts himself off has you confused for a moment before he's reaching towards you cautiously. You're not too sure what's going on until you feel the pad of his thumb swipe over the corner of your lips carrying away some of the whipped topping from the drink. Your eyes widen when instead of wiping the cream on one of the cocktail napkins available on the counter he brings his thumb to his own lips. In a fraction of a second the cream is gone, but you're left feeling a rush of fluttering warmth on the side of your mouth and in the center of your chest.

"You think your friends would like these?” He slides his drink to the side so he can lean on his elbow and turn to you again. Now's your chance.

“Um, I don’t think this is really their style.”

“What is their style?”

You rattle off their drinks of choice, making sure to mention their favorite brands with a sigh. Of course, whenever you play this game, the brands can change depending on the budget of whoever’s buying. This time, you make sure to name drop as much as possible, per Alexa's request.

“Sounds like your friends really know what they like.”

“Yeah, they have really…unique tastes.” You falter a little under his amused stare. “But we don’t always drink that way. I mean, not every bar even carries all those to begin with.”

“That’s true.” He nods. “This bar has every single of them, though. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“Yep,” you chirp. You’re not sure if you’re in trouble or not because he’s still smiling. He seems to be onto the game, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well, it would be a shame not to welcome you all to the city. Get whatever you want. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

You place your hand on his arm again and squeeze for good measure. You don’t miss the way his large bicep flexes under your touch. After a beat, he brings his hand up to grasp yours and holds it while signaling to the bartender again. You give him a blindingly bright smile and he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

He asks the bartender to ‘take care’ of your table tonight on him, and you realize then that you’ve won the game. The victory isn't nearly as sweet as the pink drinks from earlier. The rules prohibit you from bringing him home or going over to his place. And even if it wasn't prohibited, your vacation is basically over.

“Where are you and your friends from?

You take his hand between yours and play with some of the rings on his fingers. They’re beautiful together in an eclectic way and you wonder if someone chose them for him.

“It’s a kind of small city, not like this one. It’s really just our university and then a few surrounding towns.”

“What made you guys move here then?"

"Oh, Right." You feel guilty. "Me and my friends are just here for vacation."

He blinks at you but takes the news in stride. "Well, if you want—I know the city pretty well since I have a place here—maybe I can give you a tour of the town later this week."

"I'd love that, I really would. But we're actually leaving tomorrow."

"For real?” His eyes grow wide and he looks down at your linked hands before looking over your face. You're shocked to see his features fall.

"Yeah, it sucks."

“Damn,” he smiles bittersweet at the floor. “I wish we’d bumped into each other sooner.”

“I absolutely agree," the sound of Alexa's voice rings loud in your ear.

“Uh, hello. Did you need me for something?" Your voice is high and tight as you fix her with an accusatory stare. You're not 100% positive, but it seemed like you and he were having a moment.

"No, babe, I just wanted to come over and show you my beautiful drink. I wanted to come show my gratitude to you both for making sure we have a good last night. The girls will appreciate that. Thank you, kind sir."

“Name’s Namjoon. And no need to thank me,” he smiles at the exchange between you two and sticks out his hand. Alexa daintily lays her hand in his and he lets out an incredulous laugh before playing along and raising it to his lips.

"What a gentleman," she coos before pinching lightly at the skin of your exposed back. It's a clear message just for you, telling you that there's about to be a change in plans. "What were you guys discussing?"

"I was actually about to offer up our booth. There's more than enough room for your table if you wanted to move. Me and my team—friends definitely wouldn't mind the company."

“You don’t have to do that!” You pipe up, suddenly shy. But it's quickly dashed away as Alexa pulls out her phone and opens up the groupchat.

"Let me just ask our friends if they’d like that."

You already know the answer, so you sigh quietly and gather up your card, phone, and purse. You can’t say you won’t miss the privacy from when it was just you and Namjoon, but you’re glad to be with your friends again as well.

The move from your little table to the VIP booth is lightning fast. By the time you get your own drink, Lia and Dani are already clutching their things and vibrating with excitement near the ropes leading to the VIP booth. A few of Namjoon’s friends are chatting with them from the other side of the ropes.

Once your group trickles in, you don't miss how they all arrange themselves in the booth so you're forced to sit on the end next to Namjoon with barely any space. The only options are to let one of your legs hang off the edge of the booth the whole time or sit practically half in his lap. Alexa winks at you over the first sip of her next very expensive drink.

Namjoon's friends are occupied by your friends re-telling some of the more exciting parts of the beginning of your vacation. Some story about how 'someone' lost their top while trying to jet ski. You send a weak glare to Lia as she tries to get them to guess just whose top it was. That's what you get for experimenting with spaghetti strings, you suppose.

"Do you guys like to dance," one of his friends says after a while of vibing to the music once the chatter cools down. Hoseok, you think his name was.

"Yes, definitely." Dani remarks while re-applying lip gloss. "You know who's a great dancer?"

"Who?" Hoseok looks around excitedly.

"She's gonna say me," you groan. "Which is not even true but let’s just all move down there already, no more 20 questions."

"Just one more," she pouts. "Namjoon, do you like to dance?"

He looks down at you once he's also out the booth, that little amused smile back on his lips.

"Well, it's not really part of my day job, but I don't mind it too much."

"What's your day job," you blurt out.

"I'm a...musician."

"A musician!" Alexa rushes over to you to link arms. "Did you hear that? Namjoon’s a musician."

"I don't recognize you," Lia says and Hoseok and another one of his friends burst into quiet laughter behind her.

"You definitely won't find Joon’s pics anywhere, that's for sure," one of his friends says. The rest of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.

The club lights hide the muted pink tinge his cheeks take on, and Namjoon leads the way to the dance-floor with a chagrined roll of his eyes.

"You think he's really a musician?” You whisper to Alexa and Lia. Dani is somewhere up ahead, already dancing.

"Maybe technically. Going off the way his friends keep laughing, he's probably, like, a failed SoundCloud rapper or something."

"No failed SoundCloud rapper wears Gucci like that," Lia motions with her chin to some piece of Namjoon’s outfit.

"That's true," you hum.

"Rich parents," Alexa says simply.

You and Lia consider it and then nod.

As you settle on the dance floor, you feel the rest of your nerves drift away. Lia comes over to take a selfie with you, and the two of you flirt with the camera until she's satisfied with the photos you've taken. She grabs your hand and makes a show of spinning you around and you figure that this is how the night will go before you stumble out around 2 or 3am and drunk pack for the flight home the next morning. You let her lead you back, further into the crowd before you bump into someone.

Namjoon's large hand comes to stabilize you at your waist and Lia acts like nothing happened before dancing away, phone light illuminating her sneaky smile.

"You good?" Namjoon's voice is soft in your ear.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna dance, or should I let you go?"

Your friends shamelessly all look at the way he curves himself around you, all with their thumbs up in encouragement. You're reminded of the way you did the same a few nights prior when Dani was getting hit on by some cute guy at a different club.

At that time it felt fun hyping her up and watching her make a move, seeing how enamored this random guy was with your friend. Of course he is, you thought at the time, she's amazing. And you remember that this is probably what's driving them tonight as well with you and Namjoon.

You chance a look at him and realize that he's come to rest his cheek lightly near your temple, a soft look in his gaze as he awaits your answer.

"Sure, let's dance."

Namjoon was telling the truth when he said he wasn't all that into dancing. But he put in enough work to be able to follow you and meet you halfway while you were grinding on him to the music.

Even when you shyly stepped away after the first few dances to return to your squealing friends, you loosened up over time with more music and drinks and found yourself naturally ending up on him again. The first few songs turned into more and more and soon you were face-to-face, with his thigh wedged between yours and a heavy palm on your lower back guiding you to the beat.

You're not sure when you decided to abandon your friends and his, but at some point you did return to the booth under the guise of checking your phones. And you did check your phone first. But soon he was crowding you toward the wall by the booth and leaving you with no air of your own.

"You're really leaving tomorrow," he sighed into a bruise he was trying to leave near the hollow of your throat. "Or did you just say that because I was some creep at a bar."

"I never thought you were a creep."

He looks down at you with disbelief before getting distracted by your kiss-swollen lips.

"I mean it. I'm just a little shy sometimes."

"What do you have to be shy about when you look like this, huh?"

"Stop," you laugh lightly and look away from him.

He'd made a comment earlier about how much he liked the pristine white two piece you wore, but you'd been inching his hand up your skirt then. Now, one of his thumbs rubs an idle pattern just below the curve of your breast.

"No, but seriously. Are you actually leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The new term starts for us all in a few days."

"So, leave in a few days," Namjoon whines.

"That's not enough time to get ready for the term."

"But I'll be so alone without you."

He gives you an exaggerated pout that splits into a real smile when you snort at his stupid expression. He pulls you to him just a smidgen tighter then.

"Does this usually work with other girls?"

"I don't know. Never tried it with other girls," he frowns a little at you.

"Sure."

"You know me and the team almost went to Club BigHit last Saturday?"

"Oh, really? That's kinda funny." You try to imagine what might have happened if he'd come to the same club you went to earlier.

"Yeah," Namjoon's voice grows quiet. "If I hadn't gotten sick then we would have met last week."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You sure you can't miss a few days of the term?"

"Yes, I'm sure." You let out an exasperated laugh. "You can't really be this upset that an actual stranger is just passing through your life."

"No, I know. I just—," he lets his head fall forward until he's touching his forehead to yours. "It was like something clicked when I saw you. I feel like I need more time with you."

"Oh," your voice comes out a little breathier than you expected.

The same look that had flashed across his face when you first came up to him finally gets to rest on his features. You want to let him down gently because you really can't play catch up during the first week of school.

"Tell you what. I can't miss the beginning of the term but if you make a song with my name in it and it gets...say, 50,000 listens, I'll buy a ticket that same day and come meet you. Wherever you are."

He pins you with a look then, inquisitive and dark. His eyes scan your open expression for something, before whatever he finds passes the test. He stands up tall.

"And it just needs to have 50,000 listens?"

In your mind you were thinking it would be too lofty for a failed SoundCloud rapper, but something in his tone sounds like he's rising to the challenge and it makes you nervous. You spent a lot on this vacation, you can't afford to actually fly out so soon if he somehow managed to get the listens and call your bluff. Besides, targets are off limits.

"Um, actually make that 150,000. And it has to have my area code in it too." You rattle off the three digits to him and he quickly types your conditions into the notes app on his phone.

"Is that it?"

"That's it, I guess."

"Deal."

Namjoon pockets his phone and leans back into your space. Any worries you had clawing to the forefront of your mind vanish when he presses soft lips to yours once more.

A month passes.

You don't end up having a one-night-stand with Namjoon because it wouldn't be fair to your friends when they'd clicked with a target but didn't take them home. That and because Dani got sick on the dance floor from mixing strawberry daiquiri with one too many pink drinks. But you do pass on your full number after he very nearly begs you to give it to him while packing into a cab.

And then he never used it.

It's not that you were expecting much, but when a month passes with not so much as word from him, you figure he forgot about you and your little bet.

Then 2 months pass.

Even though you know that you only spent a fraction of a day with him, you can't help thinking about Namjoon. Namjoon and his pretty eyes and pretty words that made you think there was some sort of connection there. You realize after the first two weeks back that you don't have his number but by the time 2 months pass, you realize that was definitely on purpose.

4 months pass.

You're over it, swamped with end of term work like finals and grading and putting in hours at work. But every time your friends suggest a little fun and hooking you up with someone, every time someone asked for your number at a coffee shop, you said no. Because you're over it and you're busy and not at all disappointed for how hard you fell for the lies some failed SoundCloud rapper fed you on a vacation one time.

19 weeks pass.

You're all in Lia's apartment, basking in the first few days of the end of classes even if it means finals are a few days later. Alexa is playing her favorite playlist on the speakers and you're taking a break to get some coffee going in the small kitchenette.

While the coffee machine starts up you wander back to the main room. Alexa is leaning over to turn the music up, one of her favorite songs just now coming up.

"Who's this again," Dani pipes up from her spot on the couch. "It's that one guy's collab with the Bulletproof Girlscouts, right?"

"Yep," Alexa checks the song title before sighing. "This song is so old now."

"True, but it's my favorite one on the whole album."

"I guess it really has been two years since his last album, huh." Dani muses and then goes back to her practice problem set.

You try not to laugh at how cute Alexa looks sulking because her favorite artist hasn't put out any music in so long.

"Why don't you just play his new stuff," Lia says.

"He's on indefinite hiatus. This is as new as it gets."

Lia picks up her own phone, showing it to the group.

"He released a new single this morning."

"What!"

Alexa scrambles from her seat to grab her headphones and jam them into her phone. You all know how she gets about her music and let her have a moment to soak up the new song while you get up to check on the coffee.

It takes a few minutes to get cups out and put everything together since everyone has different tastes, so you're in the middle of pouring creamer when you hear a chorus of screams.

"Why are we screaming?"

You rush into the main room again only to be bombarded with music from the speaker, this time turned up as high as it can go. What must be the new song comes through the speaker, the bass vibrating on the ground as the speaker pumps.

"Okay, yes, new song. It's good but I don't get—"

"Just listen to the fucking bridge," Dani's voice comes out incredibly shrill as she cuts you off.

The beat surges for the bridge and suddenly the lyrics turn into the artist growling about some girl he met at the club with the prettiest little white outfit he'd ever seen. Saying something that sounds oddly like your name, although you figure that can't be right. But then the next verse has your name in it too, and the next one, and the next one.

Your feet take you to where Alexa's phone is plugged in and you pick up the phone to look at the song. It's indeed a song by her favorite artist, a prolific and mysterious rapper who's never shown his face and who'd been on hiatus from making music. The song title is simple, a small string of numbers that look suspiciously like your area code.

When you let out a tiny gasp, your friends let out more excited shrieks. You ignore them in favor of thumbing through the music app to the artist's page where the new single lies at the top of his discography. To the right of all his songs are the stream counts. Most of his older songs have a few dozen million or so. This brand new one sits at a modest 4 million, but the numbers trickle up as the app updates them in real time.

"What the hell?"

"I know!" Alexa cries, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't believe we sat in a VIP booth with him and I didn't even recognize his stupid voice!"

"What are you gonna do," Dani smiles widely at your stunned face. "Are you gonna call him?"

"I don't have his number," you say simply. Your voice comes out monotone with shock.

"You didn't get his number?" Alexa starts crying for real.

"People are blowing my phone up about this," Lia says once the song ends and begins again on a loop. "You might want to turn off your phone. It's just a matter of time until people start snooping around."

"Right."

You grab your phone from your pocket. On instinct you scan through your socials one last time before turning it off. There's a startling number of texts, calls, emails, and notifications on your social media apps. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open up one of them only to find your name trending as the top hashtag. Clicking on it brings up a bunch of tweets both from fans raving about the new song and wondering who the muse is, to random accounts with identical names in the handle all claiming to be said muse.

"Oh my god, he tweeted!" Dani shoves her phone into your hands.

As of right now [2:38pm] we're at 5.76 million streams. That's more than 150,000...

"What does that mean," she asks you.

"It means...he wants me to fly out to see him. Today."

"Oh my god."

Alexa screams again and at this point you've lost count of how many that is. Lia gets out of her chair and tucks her chin over your shoulder to read the post herself.

"You need to go," Alexa shouts. "I'll help you pack, let's go."

"What about finals?"

"Are you—are you actually thinking of not going because of finals?"

"I mean—"

"If you want me die, just say that," she does something with her mouth that looks like a manic smile.

"What Lex means to say is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm sure even the profs would understand."

You're not sure what to say. First of all, you still don't have his number. Second of all, you're not sure how to fight through all the other accounts claiming to be you to let him know you saw the song. Third, you don't even know where to fly to. Fourth—

A Twitter notification chimes from your phone and a deadly hush falls over everyone. You go to your DM inbox with shaking fingers only to find a message request from an unknown sender. When you open the request, it's from Namjoon's agency.

Good afternoon,

You are being contacted today because one of our artists wishes to meet you. If you consent to the meeting, please review the flight information and tentative itinerary below and respond with your address and contact information. Please also note that the travel plans are for today [MM/DD/YYYY], so your response at your earliest convenience would be much appreciated. If you would like to go but cannot make it today—

"Do you think they'll send a car or should I book her a ride to the airport now?" Dani turns to Alexa.

"They'll probably send one to make sure the schedule is followed."

"That's true but what about—"

Lia taps you on the shoulder, startling you out of your stupor.

"There's a convenience store two doors down. Whatever you buy we can put in one of my suitcases and you can just take that. There's probably not enough time to go all the way back to your place."

"I—yeah, okay."

7 hours later finds Alexa, Dani and Lia finished with studying for the night. The entertainment channel is playing on the TV and the three of them have their heads bent over their phones and laptops, refreshing all the major gossip sites for updates.

"Maybe she's not even there yet," Dani sighs when the page she just refreshed shows no new posts.

"Yeah, I mean we still don't even know where she is," Lia says while putting her laptop to sleep. "What if they made her sign an NDA?"

"Even if they did, she'd probably still tell us once she got there. She's probably just busy killing time on the plane."

"She's sleeping!" Alexa screams a second later.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Check his instagram," is all she says before frantically typing a message to you about souvenirs.

Lia looks over at Dani's phone as she pulls up Namjoon's page. The rest of the layout is bare given his up until recent hiatus and the fact that he never posted any type of selfie. The video uploaded a mere 20 seconds ago undoes all the previous minimalism of the entire account.

The post isn't even of Namjoon. It's a black and white 5 second video of the top half of your naked back and shoulders, the rest of your body covered by the sheets. One of your arms is raised to cover your head with a pillow. The only sign of Namjoon is the arm that reaches out from the bottom of the frame, making it clear that he took the video himself. His hand reaches out to trace a heart over the skin of your shoulder blade. The caption reads:

Thanks for keeping your promise