#to be fair i dont think they were a vriska

[goldenlyrad]

Us: yeah we don't mind Vriska dou8bles

Also me when someone uses my typing quirk at me in pony game:

Anyway if anyone wants to hang out on pony town PLU EASE dm us

[thewertsearch]

GC: YOU W3R3 STRUTT1NG 4ROUND 1N YOUR D3L1C1OUS K1W1 31GHT B4LL SU1T 4ND RUNN1NG YOUR FR3SH MOUTH 4S USU4L GC: durp yo terezi sup sup gotta beat john gotta beat john GC: hes got a long hood and he does wind, how can i get powers too? [....] GC: [...] 1M L1K3 D4V3 TH4TS GO1NG TO 1NVOLV3 F4C1NG YOUR OWN D34TH GC: 4ND 1M SORRY TO BR34K 1T TO YOU BUT 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 R34DY FOR TH4T

Well, at least she gave him fair warning.

Thanks to Vriska, John was able to achieve the god tiers without confronting his mortality. He didn't have to grapple with any of this, and it's possible that he was robbed of some character growth as a result.

That said, I still think Vriska did him a solid. It's just ironic that she thinks she's helping him develop as a hero, when she might be doing the exact opposite.

GC: BUT ONLY 1F YOU PROM1S3 TO TH3 3X4CT T3RMS OF MY 4RR4NG3M3NT, 1N ORD3R TO PROT3CT TH3 1NT3GR1TY OF TH3 T1M3L1N3 >:] TG: the arrangement being the coin flip thing TG: thank god we did that otherwise wed be screwed TG: i probably would have gone back in time and killed my own grandfather oh wait i never had one

lmao

I do wonder if Bro had an adopted family. We know Nanna and Grandpa's background, and Mom was probably the child that Skaianet were apparently raising in their laboratory. (Remember when I thought there was a secret clone of Rose down there?)

Bro, however, is an enigma, even among the Guardians. He has no known relationship with any of the other parents, but was definitely getting foreknowledge of Sburb from somewhere. I'm not even sure I want to know what sort of childhood produces Bro Strider.

GC: 1 TOLD YOU 1 W4S GO1NG TO FL1P 4 CO1N GC: 4ND B3FOR3 1 D1D, YOU H4D TO P1CK 4 S1D3 W1THOUT T3LL1NG M3 GC: GOOD H34DS OR B4D H34DS

Really, the coin is just a rhetorical device. Terezi doesn't need to flip a coin, or even have a coin, because the real flip is happening in Dave's head. His Mind, if you will.

This does raise a lot of questions, though. I hope there isn't a timeline for every conceivable decision you could make. We've sort of discussed the idea before, but I don't think I've really talked about the subtle horror of a multiverse that works that way.

I mean, if there's a timeline for every possible decision - if everyone is capable of making any choice, at any time - then John will randomly kill his friends, for no reason. There are millions of offshoots where he does this. WV will become a monarchist. Dave will take off his shades.

It goes deeper, too. You can't even meaningfully ask why Dave wears shades, because he doesn't. He's constantly taking them off, because it is possible for him to do so. And if there's a timeline where he never takes them off, it's only because that's a decision he could potentially make.

If timelines branch at every decision, with no restrictions, then every single person in the multiverse is constantly doing things that contradict the core of who they are. In fact, there is no core. Everyone is an indistinguishable robot, constantly making every possible decision, simply because they can.

Homestuck could work like this, but I prefer the Discworld interpretation - I think it's more consistent with the comic's themes of choice. In Night Watch, protagonist Vimes is confronted with this exact question, and we get this exchange:

“But sometimes you can’t help wondering: what would have happened if I’d done something different–” “Like when you killed your wife?” Sweeper was impressed at Vimes’s lack of reaction. “This is a test, right?” “You’re a quick study, Mister Vimes.” “But in some other universe, believe me, I hauled off and punched you one.” Again, Sweeper smiled the annoying little smile that suggested he didn’t believe him. “You haven’t killed your wife,” he said. “Anywhere. There is nowhere, however huge the multiverse is, where Sam Vimes as he is now has murdered Lady Sybil. But the theory is quite clear. It says that if anything could happen without breaking any physical laws, it must happen. But it hasn’t. And yet the “many universe” theory works. Without it, no one would ever be able to make a decision at all.” “So?” “So what people do matters!” said Sweeper. “People invent other laws. What they do is important!

In short, there are some things you would never do, physical laws be damned. It is inconceivable that Vimes would murder his wife, because his current personality is incompatible with that decision. It simply cannot be made to make sense, so it can't spawn a timeline.

Note that this is only true for Vimes 'as he is now'. His moral code doesn't necessarily apply to his alt-selves - or even his younger self, whose code hasn't solidified. Hell, half the book is about making sure Young Vimes develops that code in the first place. There could be an evil John Egbert, but our John can't just arbitrarily turn evil.

So that's how I think it works. There's a timeline for every decision that you'd choose to make, and that subset of decisions will change as you grow. Your development as a person shapes the multiverse, in a very literal way.

[doomsdaydicecascader]

What would you say was the thing that really shifted your opinion on postcanon stuff? I remember reading your long form posts about it and finding them pretty eloquent and interesting given the information I had (and I admit they did nudge me to me to end up not reading the epilogues along with the sheer length and my own squeamishness, though of course you also gave them their due when you felt it was fair)

if i'm being real, it's primarily interaction with other homestuck fans - my social media spaces tend to be pretty heavily curated, i basically only follow people i trust to be intelligent, since like. there is a level of comfort and complacency with social media? i don't like following new people, i don't like unfollowing old people. so i just dont branch out that much.

but i joined the mspfa discord in........ may of last year? while i really enjoy playing the role of like, i compared myself to solaire of astora once. guy who is there to help. i enjoy doing that, there is fun in that. i have spent many hours over the past months explaining homestuck plot points in ways that basically only i would and it is largely, pearls before swine, because the fact is that people dont want to understand post-canon, they don't want to like, pick at it critically, to understand why the decisions were made, they want to hate post-canon. and this is a very critical difference between me not liking post-canon and the majority of people hating post-canon.

and there is something to be said about experiencing homestuck as it is perceived by other people, to really solidify what i liked about homestuck post-canon, because there was stuff i liked to begin with. and seeing people who hate it without good reason frustrate me! genuinely, if you had to see the same "i heard jade has a dog penis" discussions every 2 weeks from some sprout who showed up only to be mad, you would start to defend it too.

like, i actually delayed that second blog post at the time because hatred for the team was flaring up again, for whatever reason, i don't even remember. but i remember putting it off because i didn't want to contribute to people who were blindly angry about homestuck^2

there are reasons to not like post-canon, lord knows there are plenty. i actually stand by basically everything i said about it not actually working and the times where it goes too far. in the second blog post, not the first one. but like, there is a total and all-encompassing difference in what the conversation is, "yeah, the meat and candy thing doesnt really work and dirks graphic suicide is ill-considered at best" doesnt matter at all when the level people are operating on is "say a plot point as a joke, make people mad, have fun circlejerking over how bad it is"

part of it is also that in the process of writing my own comic, it kind of comes with the territory to be less precious about the characters. like, team slime, my home discord server, watches movies every saturday. for a while, our theme was musicals, and eventually, we watched hamilton. and i realized that lin manuel miranda writes alexander hamilton in the exact way i am always afraid i am writing jane and vriska, like. just. truly relentlessly protective of them. and so being less precious about these characters means recognizing the flaws therein, not being afraid to write them just being kind of disasters. i still am pretty precious about them, but its a work in progress. you gotta get your hands dirty with them, and that puts it in context of respecting when others do the same

like, there are still a lot of really glaring flaws in post-canon, dont get me wrong, but theyre not insurmountable, and it helps to have spaces like burning down the house for me to express directly like. what i wanted out of homestuck. post-canon is not what i want it to be, but when has homestuck ever given anyone what they wanted without any complications whatsoever

and i think it is genuinely capable of being extremely good - this recent update (yiffy overlooking the rosemary drama) is extremely choice! i genuinely love how everyone involved is characterized, the panels are flashy, it puts to bed really stupid shit, like. its unbelievably fucking good how the problem kanaya has isnt "rose had another kid with jade in secret, our marriage is in shambles" but "jane knows about this kid", like. the absence of infidelity conflict is refreshing and says so much about everyone involved. and i have been thinking nonstop about how rose and jades daughters takes after caliborn of all characters. like. "you hope they eat each other alive" with the perspective of like, a caliborn grin is such an INSANE direction to take yiffy! holy shit! its awesome!!!!!!!!

[scaredgirlsilly]

Homestuck character who doesn't get enough love?

i have been stalking this ask, formulating my plan of attack, jumping from branch to branch of the canopy of trees, waiting for the perfect moment.

and that moment has finally come

spoilers for homestuck (merp. if you read this ill explode you with my mind im sorry im doing this but it has spoilers for all of homestuck so you arent allowed to read this JDKSKFJSH)

my answer is jade. am i biased?? absolutely!! but thats A Whole Thing so im gonna give some runner ups first before i get into all that

jake prob like idk whenever i see him in stuff its always either with dirk (and usually focuses on dirk kr their relationship) or its a family photo of john, jade, jane, and jake. but like. idk i dont think many people *get* what hes about (me included) but hes a great character and literally soooo aro coded its not even funny. i really should rotate jake in my brain more hes a very cool character

jane too theres some love for jane but i think the epilogues kinda fucked her

the dancestors too, but idk im not a huge dancestor fan cause they are all kinda assholes and the scene with cronus and mituna just makes my skin crawl

but ok BACK TO JADE

i think there are different aspects (most of them probably unrelated to what you untended for the question) that she doesnt get enough love, but lets start with what you were probably talking about, which is

how jade is treated by the fans

i think jade gets a fair amount of fan love. i mean just look at her!! who couldnt love her?? my main problem comes from how she compares to dave, specifically the fact that fans seem to apply an absolutely monstrous depth to daves character that isnt necessarily there in homestuck (like specificallyin regards to angst readings of his character. this is about fanfiction i should say that this is just my grievances when it comes to finding good jade fics). THATS NOT A BAD THING!! i fuckin love it actually and im not raggin on dave with this. its just that i think jade could do that as good if not better!! her life is fuckin dogshit if you treat it seriously, much like people do with daves life, and considering the fact that nearly every single fuckin dave fic i read touches on that topic, it sucks that jade fics like that are so hard to come by. she also doesnt have as many like prominent ships. theres some obv ones, like davepetasprite, or dave/karkat in a throuple (we will fucking get to that later), but yk some of the other characters even uf they dont have canon relationships, they have like. obvious ones yk. like john/vriska or john/terezi or june/rose or john/dave (fuckin j egbert gettin around kfhskshdh) or like jake/dirk or roxy/callie yk ships like those. whether you agree with em is one thing but they are obvious yk you dont gotta do alot of convincing to see them at least try it out.

but with jade, it feels like you gotta stretch it a little to get her with anyone. jade/rose is great (especially jade/rose/kanaya) but. i mean jade and rose barely talk in homestuck proper (we will GET TO IT) so its kinda a hard sell. and does jade like interact with any of the trolls alot?? like idk its been a while but im p sure most of her interactions with the trolls were negative. so that just leaves jade/davepeta which is a pretty good ship i will say, and of course, jade/dave ( + karkat sometimes) and it kinda sucks. like one of my fav ships, jade/vriska, literally started out as a joke!! but it grew on me when i started thinking out it, but it is already such a stretch that theres no fuckin way most people will see what i see (thats a whole seperate rant jdhsjdjsj this is already long enough and we have 3 other parts to get to)

SPEAKING OF THE OTHER PARTS!!

next part, prob the easiest,

jades treatment in the epilogues

do i even need to say anything??

this post is long enough ill try to speed through the other sections

NEXT PART!!

how she is treated in homestuck proper in the text (what literally happens to her)

literally lonliest girl alive has one day with her friends (that day is filled with horrible shit and thats the understatement of the century) before getting on a ship for 3 years, and like a week in having her brother and other friend die. she then lives in this ship in the middle of space, no contact to any of her other friends, no update on whats actually going on, just the company of the consorts and nanna sprite. she finally gets to the new session, meets god tier calliope who explains that that was all supposed to happen and john actually fixed everything, and also space players are just lonely thats just apart of the aspect :/

she then gets put to sleep so the condesce doesnt control her, where she misses all of the socialization that the other people have on the platform before the final fight.

she then has a convo with davepeta while she is dreaming where davepeta says "actually in the other timeline we dated and that stuff still happened to you cause of this thing called an Ultimate Self, a thing thats totally real and not at all bullshit. anyways bye!! *muah*"

she wakes up, chases a few god dogs around, gets puched in the face, and the end happily ever after!!!!!!!!

now obv this was an extremely bitter retelling and i actually cant seperate the 2 sections so this is also...

how jade is treated in homestuck proper, by andrew hussie

now. jade got ROYALLY fucked over. she started out as a mysterious figure that knows more than anyone, but extremely quickly she goes to the person who knows the least out of literally anyone. she barely talks to rose, seemingly one of her 4 childhood friends, throughout the whole comic (jade and rose say about 2700 words to each other over 5 conversations, one of them being a repeat from the others perspective. their longest convo is 571 words. for reference, this convo between dave karkat and john has 2100 words. almost 1500 words more than their longest convo and almost as much words as rose and jades entire convo history. heres a link to da sourse i used cause no way im counting that shit jdjsgsjshs tho they are doing it cause they dont like jade/rose or sumn?? idk i dont fucking care about that. anyways side tangent over!!)

SHE DOESNT EVEN WNTER THE GAME TILL ACT 5 ACT 2!!!!!!!! AFTER WE SEE THE ENTIRE TROLL SESSION!!!!!!!!

then, during the session idk shes cool i dont remember it much cause the beta kids session is a surprisingly short part of the comic jdkshdjshs but she has some cool moments and i love her ^u^

then the yellow yard. god. just fucking left there alone. why?? the entire point of johnfix is that the session could be changed for the better without worry of a doomed timeline. couldnt have even made john give her a heads up as to why her john and davesprite just fucking die randomly?? (before you say that john couldnt have cause he didnt know, motherfucker andrew hussie knew!!!!!!!! he could have just made some fuckin reason for john to know its not that hard)

then during the session she just gets ranted to about how actually its all apart of the plan and this was supposed to be this way and she just goes ":P okie dokie" and moves on like that wouldnt FUCKING KILL HER THAT SHE HAD TO BE ROYALLY FUCKED OVER FOR EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT.

now obv theres an explanation why her role in the final fight is so passive. shes too op. she combined with bec and is a space player (and is shown using those powers to do some pretty bad ass stuff jfjsgsjdhd). thats fair i guess. im just salty that the way to solve that was to literally put her to sleep for most of it, then go fly around with some dogs and get punched in the face.

now. the rant is kinda over. jade i think is the most slept on character, but specifically she is slept on by one person. andrew hussie. i think that andrew hussie did not explore jades character like he did with other characters. i do not know why. im going to try to not act like i know why he did it (god its so hard HDKSKDHAGDJ). this rsnt is pure salt, pure fuckin cope, i am aware. this is not meant to be objective i just really like and relate to jade and wish she got more love in the work itself. but instead, i must dine on the scraps she gets on fuckin ao3 (did you know there are almost as many davekat fics as there are fics where jade is in it at all?? and thats not even including the fact that alot of the jade fics, shes not the main person. im not mad 🙃🙃)

anyways uhhhh sorry this probably wasnt what you were expecting 😭😭😭😭 i just have alot of incoherent thoughts when it comes to jade and homestuck in general. so uhhhh. THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!

[davekat-sucks]

"homestuck fans when they see men: i want him to get me pregnant"

wtf which men are we talking about? they are just seen as goofballs at best or hated at worst. ive only ever seen fans fawning over dave, and even then only the imaginary uwu sad softboy they have in their heads or to ship him with karkat. speaking of which, i think a more popular mindset is that some people want to get karkat pregnant, not the other way around lol

ive also never seen anyone talk shit about any of the women except for vriska (fair) or jade/jane/feferi (unfair as fuck, and mainly because they get in the way of davekat/dirkjake/erisol or their characters were bastardized in the sequel). also ive seen more HIC thirst than hate so...

ill use this as opportunity to say that, besides vriska, porrim has the most delusional and actually sexist fans ever. they dont see how the male approved "feminist" has no personality or interests beyond fashion, her sex life, taking care of a man, and complaining about an imaginary patriarchy when her planet is literally a matriarchy and gender roles in a bisexual society where roles are given according to blood caste.

I'm guessing the other anon mean 4chan for male fans. True. Nobody imagines Karkat as top. Even if his ship name is front of something like KatNep, he's still a bottom bitch. That's why most of his ship names end with -kat. That's how much of a pussy he is. Eridan is more of an alpha than he is in that regard. All it matters to fans of Porrim is that she is lesbian like Kanaya. That's even why even nu-fans of Kanaya like her just for that. Nothing about things like moving on from loving bad people like Vriska, relying on herself to take action, or finding better trust in people like Karkat compared to Eridan. It's all about being that hot lesbian gal. She can't even be called the Mom Friend anymore, because having that label means you are suddenly an adult now and it's pedophilia if is you ship someone who is the Mom Friend. Name one fan that remembers Kanaya has an interest in GARDENING. The same hobby as Jade. The only thing that makes it questionable from Porrim is that this is the same caste that the Ancestor Feferi rules over, where all blood caste are supposedly equal or treated the same way. I'm not sure what would Feferi's stance on gender equalities would be. I'm guessing even with the equality still in placed, there's still underlying racism and sexism still around. Perhaps the fact most Jadebloods are female, there is probably still some sexism from other caste who sees Jadebloods reproducing one specific gender compared to other blood colors that have a somewhat balanced in birth rates for both male and female.

[pesterloglog]

Vriska Serket, Sollux Captor, John Egbert, Aradia Megido

Act 6, page 6025-6028

VRISKA: Hey guys! Stop dragging your feet 8ack there! You're falling so far 8ehind, you're starting to look tiny and ridiculous from here.

VRISKA: The treasure should 8e 8uried just up ahead. Let's pick up the pace!

SOLLUX: excuse me, s0me 0f us here have special needs. i think i will c0ntinue dragging my feet if y0u d0n't mind.

VRISKA: Sollux, will you just let Aranea heal your eyes already and catch the fuck up?

SOLLUX: N0!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN: hey.

JOHN: aradia, was it?

ARADIA: yes

JOHN: can i ask you something?

ARADIA: ok

JOHN: you seem reasonable, and pretty nice.

ARADIA: :)

JOHN: so i'm wondering.

JOHN: how do you feel about all this?

ARADIA: about what exactly

JOHN: about what vriska and her pirate buddies are doing.

ARADIA: you mean searching for the weapon?

ARADIA: i think its a good idea

JOHN: no, i know.

JOHN: of course it would be great to have an awesome secret weapon, whatever it is.

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: how do you feel about the way they've been searching for it?

JOHN: by using all your ghost clone friends as bait.

JOHN: and getting the bad guy to blow them all up to reveal the way to the treasure?

ARADIA: thats probably the only way to find it

ARADIA: in my experience the specific path you travel out here is very important

ARADIA: if we did not trace that exact path in that amount of time i doubt we ever would have found the right location

ARADIA: in fact it may never have been found by anyone

JOHN: ok, yes.

JOHN: let's assume it was the only way to find it. granted.

JOHN: but i mean, does that really make it the right way to beat him?

ARADIA: i couldnt say

JOHN: well, how do you feel about it?

JOHN: most of the other pirates seem cool with it, so i'm wondering if you feel differently.

ARADIA: its probably necessary

ARADIA: and they would have embarked on this voyage whether i had come along or not

ARADIA: so i might as well join the fun!

ARADIA: isnt that what you did when you saw our ship?

JOHN: um...

JOHN: sort of.

JOHN: but i didn't know what you were all doing yet.

ARADIA: yes but once you found out you continued journeying with us

JOHN: yeah, but...

JOHN: i'm just hanging out here cause i'm asleep! what else was i going to do?

ARADIA: exactly!

ARADIA: i dont necessarily share their point of view on the meaning of this endeavor though

ARADIA: they consider this to be a great clash between good and evil

ARADIA: but i prefer to look at the coming battle as a matter of housekeeping

ARADIA: in the end all loops must be tidied up

ARADIA: even his

JOHN: ok, but what about your friends!

JOHN: don't you care about them?

ARADIA: of course i do!

ARADIA: i love all my friends

JOHN: then why do you seem so...

JOHN: cheerful?

JOHN: when so many of them are getting zapped by lasers.

ARADIA: do i seem cheerful about that

JOHN: kinda!

ARADIA: i apologize if that is the way i am behaving

ARADIA: it is not true though

ARADIA: i think i look at death differently than most

ARADIA: and it is fair to say this attitude extends to death after death as well

ARADIA: i have learned to be at ease with the cessation of being in any form it takes

ARADIA: but i am not nor will i ever be the monsters handmaid

ARADIA: so please believe that i would never take joy from the destruction of any soul

ARADIA: however you must realize that it is only by the grace of the horrorterrors that so many have been allowed to continue existing for so long

ARADIA: they have persisted for ages beyond their time just as he has

ARADIA: as such it seems to me his rampage is just another kind of housekeeping

ARADIA: while he rounds the ring undoing the work of the gods we must prepare for his undoing as well

ARADIA: to ready the manor for the lords arrival so to speak :)

JOHN: ...

JOHN: i'm sorry, maybe i spaced out through some of that.

JOHN: but i'm still not sure what you're talking about.

JOHN: maybe you could just simplify it for me.

JOHN: are you a good guy or a bad guy?

ARADIA: i dont like to think of myself in those terms

ARADIA: but i do try to be nice to people!

JOHN: dammit.

JOHN: ok, could you just... maybe...

JOHN: give me an idea of what it is you actually want out of all this?

ARADIA: what i want?

ARADIA: hmmm

ARADIA: thats a pretty good question

ARADIA: i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart

[bi-rezi]

imma be fully honest while i dont think bakugou and midoriya would be a good or healthy relationship at their current state in bnha itself, i do think that if what you really care about is writing them (mostly bakugou lbr) through that growth and through that change into a state in which they can be in a healthy, happy relationship, then thats fine. i think its ok to ship them in aus, i think it’s okay to put them thru growth and ship them. 

if ur gonna fetishize the relationship they have rn, though, or shove them into a relationship ignoring the fucked up shit going on w their dynamic, thats shitty? but i understand wanting to see them (again, largely bakugou) grow into better people and create a healthy relationship. 

like tbh i dont think its all that different from something like vrisrezi? the difference is that while we were able to actively watch vriska and terezi grow into people who could form a better relationship than the one they had as kids, it’s p clear that bakugou is still pretty much in that childish state where he hates midoriya. i think its okay to interpret that as denial! i think its okay for them to have had a fucked up start to their friendship! but i think that if you want them to be friends again, or to ever be in a relationship in the terms that canon has given us, they need to experience growth.

[tyzias-ennnntykk]

Since its never fully explained, im curious how different folks headcanon the resolving of the language barrier between trolls and humans.

Like the easy answer i guess would be little narrative nudges from entities to provide a sort of "universal translator" like the Tardis or the Babelfish, but i like to think that at least the trolls on the meteor learned english over a couple perigees JUST so they could communicate with these weird human nerds. and then Rose and Dave learned a fair amount of Alternian on the meteor and now all the surviving trolls/humans learned a lot of the other language to be able to communicate with their friends better on Earth C.

Dave and Rose and Karkat and Kanaya all speak a mixture of the two languages thats casual amongst eachother, but switch to full English and full Alternian when speaking to non-god Humans or Trolls, respectively.

June and Jade both learned Alternian pretty quickly, but never really speak it unless they're speaking to a troll, and even then they get a lot of pronunciation wrong. Jade tries to use it to impress others, and often looks like a Huge Dweeb doing so.

Terezi almost entirely speaks Alternian, but does make an effort to speak English when the humans are present, unless she's saying something under her breath (which is often).

Vriska and Dirk both made efforts to learn the other language, but more or less dont care to use it much. Dirk learned it practically overnight, and now only uses it when he has to pull out a specific phrase from the language. Meanwhile Vriska just figures "im important enough that anyone who doesnt decide to learn Alternian for me can just fuck off", outside of specific conversations with friends.

Roxy learned not just Alternian, but even Cherubian, from Callie (who, of course, learned both Alternian and English while studying the stories of both.) Roxy loves speaking whatever language the person she's speaking to is most comfortable in. Shes the only one who learned Cherubian, but mostly because Callie doesnt really like speaking in it (it reminds her of her communiques with her brother).

Meanwhile Jake and Jane were amongst the last two to learn Alternian, because they never really spoke much to the native speakers. Jake's Alternian is clearly trying to be correct, but he's also very much speaking with a weird affected accent that most native speakers find baffling. Jane, on the other hand, speaks it fairly well (as a point of pride), but H A T E S speaking in it (iirc she says as much at one point in the sequel content, but i could be wrong), thinking English is "just simpler".

The only other interactions between these languages i can think of are Joey and MSPA reader (who i think both confirmed had the Universal Translator approach), and then all the carapacians who i believe automatically learn the language of whoever started the game that always contained their instances. The consorts mostly just speak whatever random words they can pick up from larger creatures, combined with weird noises to make a near indecipherable babble.

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something.  (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

D:

God damnit these CRAMPS.  Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic?????  Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume.  That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER.  Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff.  Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully.  :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh?  This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories.  This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck.  Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain.  Dirk, I mean.  Being the villain.  And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track.  Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display.  Her will is awesome.  (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit.  :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece.  :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice.  Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore.  Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous???????  ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally.  He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason.  Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance.  That’s fucking horrifying.  No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh?  Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”.  And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop.  Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF.  Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important.  Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh?  Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”???  D:

--Oh, oh shit.  He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things.  D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that.  Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway?????  I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts?  What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah.  Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something.  Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!???  Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out.  Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch!  :D :D :D  Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes.  Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic.  I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one?  I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected.  At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes.  Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that.  She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi.  :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit.  John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too.  God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[  That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like--  Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she.  She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role.  Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit.  It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes.  It’s really refreshing!  Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this?  I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair.  You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy.  :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff.  Fuck you, Dirk.  ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious!  Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you.  This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh.  Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it?  Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before.  If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever.  :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay.  Called it.  There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it?  You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative.  It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something.  Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right?  Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever?  Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through?  Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq?  That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story?  AGAIN?!????  FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ.  How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave?  From this planet???  What the fuck, are you--

Oh.  Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too???  Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK.  Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there.  Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska?  Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm.  Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane.  Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk.  He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. 

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all.  Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions.  All Prince of Heart on the whole world.  Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck?  How the hell?  Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting.  He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split.  Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice.  D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”?  That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles.  >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word.  Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign. 

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K  Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde.  That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot.  Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it?  Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with.  Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative.  :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping.  Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of.  :(

What’s with the phone buzz?  The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it!  Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess.  (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it.  Holy shit.  That’s even worse than a robot.  FZUCZK

Okay calm down.  The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good.  FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself.  This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER?  HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh.  One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh.  I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen.  Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess?  This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid.  Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you.  Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life. 

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk.  That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body.  Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you.  This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um.  What the fuck?  Is this even Dirk anymore?  It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce.  o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved!  Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her!  Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

[clonerightsagenda]

Gill and I may not live together anymore but we can still Do Damage

Kat: me, working on the alpha kid portion of my AU and also watching she-ra: Dirk.... Entrapta.... (does he still have prehensile hair? You Decide) Gill: Anime spikes are now real spikes I'm also happy to give him Doctor Octagonapus arms Hedgehog man Kat: someone: so it's the princess alliance right actually we had to change the name because we THOUGHT it was the princess alliance but uh Gill: Junior Royalty Alliance Princex Alliance? The Gay Agenda Kat: lmao addendum: Jake is sea hawk Gill: Who's Glimmer, telling him to set his boat on fire Also: Dirk stop experimenting on the planet Kat: Jane Jane is glimmer trying to be responsible and controlling people Gill: That is perfect and I love her Kat: Is Roxy bow? I'm not sure Gill: Also she'd be adorable as a blue sparkly glitter fairy Who's Adora and Catra Also autocorrect I understand correcting Adora to Adorable but Why did you change Catra to "Avatar" Kat: I mean Adora and Catra do have some pretty strong Vrisrezi vibes Also that way if Adora is Terezi you can have Janerezi if you want it Gill: I am resistant to Vriskerly Actions and yet I cannot deny that it works Also Glimmerdora is a rly cute ship... Kat: Catra is like Vriska done well Gill: And now Vriska has a friend who is a scorpion lady It's fitting Kat: god who's scorpia omg NEPETA cat scorpion switch Gill: And DIRK WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA TO HACK THE PLANET, I DONT APPROVE OF HER SHES A BAD INFLUENCE Mr Strider go to your room Kat: I was going to say how long could dirk possibly tolerate Vriska Doc Scratch is prob shadoweaver Gill: Instead of getting a mask knocked off it's just His whole head Kat: ok I fixed it Dirk makes Hal and Hal gets left behind and Hal is much more bitter about shit and so more willing to join up plus Hal would take Vriska-Catra in stride just like lmao check this DSMIV entry out Gill: Have both, Dirk is acting like an Actual Captive while Hal is having a good time with the girls Kat: Hal: I know why you're in the Horde. You've got a complicated relationship with your pseudo parental figure and feel abandoned or treated as less than by your former friend. Vriska: And why are YOU here smart guy Hal: Absolutely none of those reasons. Gill: Hal: you know I can ask them to let you out Dirk: I will not stoop to the level of a traitor Hal: w/e Nepeta and I are gonna go watch anime Kat: Hal: Hey Dirk if you hadn't cut your hair you could use it to pick the locks on those shackles. Dirk, who chopped his hair off years ago bc #dysphoria: Eat shit Gill: Dirk: I replaced it with robot arms for a reason Hal: yeah thanks for the extra arms by the way Is Dirk's hair bubblegum pink naturally, does he dye it Kat: oh god Dirk has anime hair Gill: I feel like he'd either Constantly be trying to act like the main character he thinks he is, bc he knows what pink hair means Gill Or trying to AVOID his calling as a Main Character bc he will not be pigeonholed into your limiting archetypes He is a main character of his own narrative conventions Kat: Can Entrapta's hair feel pain?Would cutting or bleaching it hurt it the real questions Gill: He dyes it red and It comes out orange and it's a fair enough compromise because bleaching it doesn't feel Pleasant Most AUs: Nepeta, tiny fluffy cat girl She-Ra AU: Nepeta, enormous buff scorpion cat girl who is the tallest character in the cast Some day if and when I need background Nepetas for the Dreambubbles I'm adding Scorpeta to the Nepeta Squad Kat: I always imagine Terezi as shortish so Terezi suddenly becoming 8 feet tall is hilarious to me Gill: Giant... dragon woman... Oh no it's everything I ever really wanted Kat: so Jade's probably perfuma Rose is Frosta. She's still 12 years old and angry Gill: Can Jade's Kingdom be full of furries I politely but firmly request furries Kat: god i guess???? so is this trolls = horde humans = alliance where are john and dave Gill: Terezi: I have a sword. It's sharp. Dirk, probably: ...I want a sword Oh man we're out of male characters already Kat: i mean there's dudes in the horde Gill: Unless John is Bow... but Bow is the Power Of Heart dude... Yeah that was my other thought Kat: John and Dave WERE the patronees of Terezi and Vriska Gill: They're Background Horde Dudes, the one guy who immediately latches onto Bow when he's taken prisoner is Very Dave What was his name Steve Kat: get wrecked I thought it was Kyle? Gill: KYLE Kat: it's funnier if Bow is Roxy latches onto his mom Gill: It was very much an Inherently Funny Plain Dude Name If and when I draw this I'm giving Jake (Sea Jake... Jake Hawk...) a terrible pubescent mustache A pubestache, one might call it Kat: ew Gill: Jake Hawk sounds like a Generic Action Dude name, like what you'd call Solid Snake if you were writing a novelization of Metal Gear and knew nothing about Metal Gear Kat: i'm formatting this for an initial tumblr post Gill: Excellent We Have Done It Again, My Dudes Kat: our trail of devastation knows no bounds Gill: The Crossover Gremlin's reign of terror has yet to be stopped

[doomsdaydicecascader]

explain why its bad besides it being the most basic thing possible

the thing about meat/candy is that it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what works in homestuck and also, stories in general?

i think hussie started developing the meat/candy ideal around the time karkat started writing memos - the first explicit mention of the binary is in the author commentary for [S] Make her pay, i believe? in which hussie says outright that he started “cramming the story full of red meat, but it’s too soon to talk about that” or something similar, but the ideas first start popping up around the end of hivebent. the imagery juxtaposition is there, between karkat running the Team Adorabloodthirsty memos, which are largely karkat doing plot things while things codified as “candy” (romantic issues) happen at him, and him banning all that shit because there’s IMPORTANT stuff to do, and terezi’s rainbow rumpus party town memos which are almost entirely her roleplaying with nepeta and goofing off, while karkat tells them to stop faffing the fuck about and do shit and gets banned. 

and i think it does both the concept of plot and the concept of characters as a whole a huge disservice, since it treats characteriz8ion as this sort of like. off-hand thing that you do when there’s not plot to do, instead of like. a core tool in an author’s toolbelt. but then again homestuck has never actually had anything insightful to say about the n8re of authorship that couldn’t be equally better understood by a wiki page on auteur theory, and this is no different 

but the thing that gets me most about the codific8ion of it is that the extended alchemy scenes, despite never really wearing thin in the same way that sbahj did, and is this really neat and unique tool for characterizing people that homestuck did, actually invent and definitely like. stakes its claim over, doesn’t really show up after act 5 act 2, and when it does take center stage again, it’s during the trickster arc, which is where we have the ideal of “candy” explicitly laid out for us - candy is characters being “artificially happy”, without going through the growth that necessarily justifies that happiness, and meat is the growth necessary to reach that happiness. but that’s bullshit. 

this goes off the rails by the time it reaches the epilogues, to the point where i think that the acknowledgement of the meat/candy binary in the epilogues is an example of what i’m going to call “the magic wand principle”, taken from stephen thecatamite’s notes on the development of their game magic wand (which is fantastic, btw): 

It may be misleading to put all this stuff up here as though I thought it through before I made the game. In fact I started making the game first and then developed an elaborate set of opinions to explain to myself that it was a good idea. In the beginning was the deed. The rest of this essay will cover the slow development and composting of the game proper and attempt to shew how anything that looks like an idea is in fact protective colouration for a bad decision that I would have made anyway.

it’s really, genuinely, extremely fucking condescending too - john is presented with the meat or candy choice, and we had to spend an entire week mulling over this fucking awful non-choice, and there’s this sense of like. everyone kind of expected the routes to be like. very simplistic metaphors (very funny i dont think most people have ever read homestuck nonliterally before the epilogues) where candy was gonna be sweet but not particularly fulfilling and meat was gonna be tough but satisfying (jokes on them though, neither were good, and jokes on me, because it was DELIBER8LY bad)

and since the candy route takes place entirely inside the black hole - which in homestuck proper is used as a karmic punishment for english and retcon-vriska, whose refusals to grow the fuck up resulted in them being stuck in a place where time has been dil8d to such an extent that they could never grow up. and by setting the candy route inside the black hole, it casts this judgment on the idea of wanting anything other than fucking abject misery and these perpetu8d cycles of violence out of homestuck, and while it’s getting more and more “woke” about it - the cycles of violence are now explicitly capitalist instead of just symbolically capitalist - it still fucking bites because we have spent so fucking long watching these characters grow the fuck up about things. 

the candy route is almost entirely cynical and h8ful regurgit8ions of fan tropes, and it is implicitly aligned with the desire to never grow the fuck up, but it’s presented as if it’s a fair and even-handed choice when the authors themselves clearly have a preference

and as a storytelling device it doesn’t work because like........ maybe this is a personal thing but the best shit in homestuck to me specifically is the process of recovering from [S] Game over., leading into shes8ack and vriskagram. legitim8ly, the span of pages from caliborn’s horrible deviantart to vriskagram is the best part, of the best thing i���ve ever read. and i like it specifically because of the way it overlaps a whole bunch of ideas in a really compelling way - jade, jane, and calliope, characters who tend to get a backseat are having extremely fluffy character moments where they design trollsonas and shit, and it’s juxtaposed against the gruesome fallout from [S] Game over, and you can watch in real time as game over terezi puts together the extent to which she regrets killing vriska which she mentions a lot during act 6 but never really has the chance to act on, and sends john on a quest to bring her back, outright changing the story itself to do that. and it’s this overlap of like. plot and character motiv8ions that make it so good - the delic8 dance of jade and jane recalling things from their timeline while terezi and john are in the process of saving vriska is like. it is the best shit. 

meat and candy as codified concepts are not opposed, they are not two things which can never touch, lest the streams be crossed and the rift to our world be closed or whatever, the best structure, to me, at least, is when plot beats and character beats are almost entirely indistinguishable from each other, since characters existing without a plot don’t necessarily change in compelling ways, and plot existing beyond the context of character beats loses its applicability and winds up feeling extremely hollow - what if homestuck was first and foremost about the demiurge being evil for cre8ing? what if everything people liked about homestuck - the rel8ionship dynamics, the themes about 8r8king cycles of violence and growing past them - was all at best, secondary to that, and at worst, a complete fluke? that sucks to think about. but here we are now

[synodicatalyst]

what do u think abt rose/m and vriska/m in fandom? if u search the tags u can still find active shippers (notably joh/nrose n j/ohnv/ris) w ppl denying that they can be lesbians. common arguments r like "its biphobic to say shes a lesbian bc on page 5471 line 39 she canonically flirted w a boy!! lol" while ignoring,,, that comphet is a Thing... what i find esp interesting as an actual bi person is that these ppl are seldom bi themselves; it reads more like theyre trying to justify their (1/2)

like of the pair (like dirk/f shippers saying "jOhN is a hETeroSexual but people ship [joh/ndave joh/nkat etc]!!!! str8 oppression!" or "uhhh in this pesterlog with roxy he said he ISNT GAY" while ignoring all other textual evidence that goes against it,,, or altogether cherrypicking the parts they want to hear to support their het narrative). its honestly a bit disheartening to see this like. ok in some instances things are left up for interpretation, but why would you want to say (2/3 whoops)

(for example) that rose is bi bc she "flirted w john/dave" when there are so many interactions in-canon where she was only interested in women!! and for bi rep, why would you want her instead of NUMEROUS characters shown to express attraction to multiple genders (eg dave, roxy, karkat, jade just to name a few!) like i personally find that to be more than a bit iffy, especially in 2018 and not like. 2010 when dav/ejade joh/nrose etc was popular. (3/3)

wow anon really spicing up my inbox today huh [its ok i love some spice]

uhm..hm. i think..well.. i gave up being super angry about j/hnr/se (and other rose/dude) ships a lil while ago because i mean, there is literally nothing i can do that will stop those folks. like me being like ‘yall shes obviously a lesbian’ isnt going to stop user ilovejo//hnro//se69 (thats not a real user tho afaik) from shipping their ship

i will say that its 2018 and if you havent gotten the memo yet...rose is pretty clearly a lesbian [see: jasprosesprite’s unabashed flirting with like All The Girls and zero of the boys] and i genuinely dont understand why you’d want to ship her with a dude

it is pretty disheartening and i do find it genuinely disrespectful towards both lesbians and bisexual folks (especially bi women) because using bisexuality in order to “validate” your boring m/f ship that died in 2012 is a shitty thing to do. it feels like people are commodifying bisexuality because they can’t handle that perhaps lesbians exist

with regards to vriska - i think that her situation is a bit different, because she was never explicitly stated to be a lesbian in the comic, and this new age of lesbian vriska is definitely just largely in part due to this sect (i.e. the lesbian sect) of the fandom seeing vriska and realising that she has Big Lesbian Energy and also shares very large portions of her story with The Lesbian Narrative (in that her only important relationships that actually affected her emotionally were all with women; xtine once said that vriska got more worked up about aradia’s indifference towards her than she felt about tavros in the entire comic which is very true) and her arc definitely shows lots of traits of like, comphet (going after tavros because of her ancestor and because she thought that’s what she was supposed to do) and general social dissonance.

so like, there’s a lot about vriska that points towards her being a lesbian, and frankly i genuinely cannot imagine her being in a fulfilled or happy relationship with a man, at all (and it surprises me that some people can). however this was never stated outright in the comic, and a lot of this evidence is probably more difficult to pick out or relate to if you’re..not .. a lesbian, obviously, which is fair. i still dont put stock in people who use john, tavros, eridan or fucking nic cage as “evidence” for vriska being attracted to men because all of those relationships (if they were even that) fucking sucked and vriska was not invested in like any of them emotionally [apart from john but there’s like a Lot to that and ultimately i think vriska wasn’t romantically interested in him, she was just not used to being treated like a normal person and john helped her realise that the hyperviolence imposed upon her by society was shitty]

i.. dont want to be Like That but i genuinely just think it’s unfair when people take characters who are very obviously Lesbians [or gay men i.e. dirk] and be like ‘ya well heres an m/f relationship i like with u in it’ when homestuck has like. COUNTLESS characters who are bi/attracted to folks of another gender

and i get annoyed about rose’s lesbian identity being erased in the same way i distrust folks who erase dave’s bisexuality, because similarly, his bisexuality is an important, integral part of his character and erasure is bad

I WILL ALSO SAY bi terezi is more valid than bi vriska though i hc both as lesbians 90% of the time, but folks that go “uhhh calling terezi a lesbian is bi erasure!” and ignore the whole “you dont need him” retcon arc really don’t... get it and are failing to empathise with the folks who see their narrative in her (i am not trashing on bi terezi its a headcanon that i love too dont twist this shit)

also in general i just question the motivation of people who see characters in loving relationships with folks of the same gender, squint at it, and go “nah this sucks my m/f ship is better”

not to invalidate non-het folks in m/f relationships but yall cannot make me fucking care about like.........d/vej/de on my goddamn life

[thelifetimechannel]

ROXY: so ur the 1 w/ all the answers ARADIA: is there something youd like to know? ROXY: well apparently uve got cosmic info + hells of motivational one liners so can u tell y it has 2 be this way ROXY: why this game gotta suck so hard ARADIA: can i let you in on a secret ROXY: im not so gr8 w/ those ROXY: spill stuff when i shouldnt or sit on stuff i should spill ARADIA: ill have to trust you anyway ARADIA: i dont have all the answers ARADIA: just what ive learned from talking to people or trying things out and making mistakes ARADIA: trial and error thats how a lot of things work ARADIA: thats what got us here ROXY: and wut left all those ghosts out there ARADIA: yes ROXY: which brings me back 2 my question ROXY: why does this game suck ARADIA: some things just do ARADIA: but i am inclined this time to say because it was made this way ROXY: by callie ROXY: the other 1 ROXY: thats what i heard ARADIA: see you have more information than me in that respect! ARADIA: the waking world is not my area of expertise ARADIA: out in the bubbles i knew what to expect ARADIA: this is new and harder to navigate ROXY: were all in the dark rn ROXY: but thats my place ARADIA: ive been a maid for a long time ARADIA: cleaning up what i could and making the way easier ARADIA: maybe a rogue from outside the system has a different perspective ROXY: i bet other ppl have more ideas n schemes but if ur lookin 4 the roguish attitude uve come 2 the rite place ROXY: i can give u lessons on being feisty + a rule breaker + lookin damn good while ur at it ROXY: did u ever encounter my brand before out there ARADIA: nope! ARADIA: there arent many humans out there ARADIA: youre new territory for me ROXY: oh ROXY: guess there was only the 1 ROXY: it wouldve been nice for her have some1 there ROXY: id want that if i was dying and alone ROXY: but enough of the heavy shit ROXY: we just met and im already being a PARTY POOPER ROXY: u said u were a maid ROXY: guess thats obvs bc uve got the same kinda outfit as jane ROXY: does that mean ur also nice n cute but morph into a terrifying badass when necessary ARADIA: it has been known to happen ROXY: honestly i havent met a troll girl who wasnt a terrifying badass ROXY: we ladies r def carrying this adventure ARADIA: flarp is called a game for girls for a reason ROXY: flarp? ARADIA: a live action roleplaying game four of us used to play ROXY: that sounds wicked awesome ROXY: i always wanted 2 do something like that but my friends were all long distance and sburb ended up being a little TOO immersive ARADIA: we had a lot of fun playing together ARADIA: unfortunately it led to some... accidents ROXY: maybe we should all try playing sometime ROXY: w/ our powers it could be rly cool ROXY: even snowball fights are gonna have the intensity and firepower of a world war ARADIA: i can ask terezi if she has any copies of the rulebook that arent defaced ARADIA: or we could write our own rulebook! ARADIA: that might be fun, and we could make it safer for the players ROXY: what happened 2 u guys anyway ARADIA: tavros broke his torso column ARADIA: terezi went blind ARADIA: vriska lost a few body parts she could live without ARADIA: i died ROXY: k thats more than i was thinking when you said accidents ROXY: usually its more like some1 got hit w/ 3 draw 4s in a row and rage quit or u slipped on some dice and fell on ur ass ARADIA: none of that was the fault of the game though ARADIA: vriska did most of it, egged on by an otherworldly meddler with objectives of his own ARADIA: working in a few tweaks theres no reason it should result in so much carnage ROXY: if u say so ROXY: ive had my fill of killer games ROXY: u couldnt pay me 2 go a round of jumanji ROXY: maybe ill stick to my retro computer games where i can only die digitally ARADIA: oh, those are fun too! ARADIA: you have to find entertaining things to do indoors when its not safe to go exploring outside ROXY: trust me im an expert at whiling away cabin fever ROXY: but i dont think weve got any danger of that now ROXY: there r gonna be so many wacky shenanigans w/ all of us hanging out together i can already visualize it ROXY: sweet sweet shenanigans ROXY: every moment worth snapshotting and putting in a picture album to preserve it 4ever ROXY: hopefully none of these shenanigans will end up w/ ppl getting broken tho that doesnt sound like good times for all ARADIA: we will have to avert any incoming disasters ARADIA: whether they arise from injudicious game selections or otherwise ROXY: a bunch of badasses like us shouldnt have any problem ROXY: well make games safe and fair ROXY: and well figure out how 2 take on this world on xpert mode ARADIA: sounds like a plan

[pesterloglog]

Meenah Peixes, Tavros Nitram, Vriska Serket

Act 6, page 7868-7870

MEENAH: yea good

MEENAH: excellent work swabby in chief

MEENAH: i hereby promote yall from poopmaster to pooplord

TAVROS: wOW!!!!!!!!!!

MEENAH: you earned it

MEENAH: now turn that way

MEENAH: i wanna address my legion of loyal homies

TAVROS: yES, mY LIEGE,

MEENAH: listen up buoys and gulls

MEENAH: i aint much for inspirational sbeaches

MEENAH: but here goes one anemoneway so whatever and listen the fuck up

MEENAH: your friendly sandle packing pooplord just flipped the keys to this bitch over to me

MEENAH: so as all yalls former heiress and current empress i hereby officially decree

MEENAH: im the boss now

MEENAH: you gotta do what i say

MEENAH: follow my orders to the letter not just cause all our ghosts are at stake and existence itself depends on it

MEENAH: but because im tha bomb

MEENAH: and all the shit i say is cool and right

MEENAH: mosta you got some good fightin skill or some powers or some shit

MEENAH: god tier ghosts im lookin at you

MEENAH: i dunno what you can all do in them peejays but whatever it is you better fuckin bring it

MEENAH: the rest of you without powers or even like

MEENAH: modest combat ability?

MEENAH: just

MEENAH: iunno

MEENAH: throw your damn torso at the guy

MEENAH: fa real every individual flailing and screaming body is gonna count for somefin in this god damn mess

MEENAH: sea we got a weapon

MEENAH: a nasty one some legend says

MEENAH: dont ask me to quote the legend cause i dont read up on no damn legends people just tell me this shit alright?

MEENAH: but the idea is you all set him up

MEENAH: then we knock him down

MEENAH: i trust that i dont gotta say who we up against here

MEENAH: you know the guy

MEENAH: the hulk ass pimp devil whos been shredding all our black space

MEENAH: poppin up our bubbles

MEENAH: murderin innocent space octopi

MEENAH: double killing our ghosts which to be fair there were way too many of in the first place but lets not dwell much on that dumb fact

MEENAH: its lord muscle guy

MEENAH: a huge like

MEENAH: professional wrestler with suspenders and the head of a skeleton

MEENAH: the fuckin time boss who wiped out troll kind one way or anotter

MEENAH: i think hes after his sis but shes on record as not mattering so who cares

MEENAH: he will never stop til he finds her

MEENAH: so we have to stop him

MEENAH: to save space and reality and an infinity trillion cosmic frogs or some absurd stuff long those lines

MEENAH: but we have to stop him most importantly because

MEENAH: its just a badass thing to do

MEENAH: and i PROMIS-E you

MEENAH: as your supreme ruler for afterlife

MEENAH: that this will be a baller use of our time

MEENAH: and beats the shit out of being bored and doing nothing forever

MEENAH: so i ask of you

MEENAH: as humbly as i can while taking into consideration im the best one here by proximately 20K leagues or so

MEENAH: whos with me?

MEENAH: the answer is

MEENAH: all of you

MEENAH: you all are

MEENAH: because i command it

MEENAH: but it school i know you can do it

MEENAH: because i believe in every last one a you

MEENAH: and also

MEENAH: you have to

MEENAH: because if you dont

MEENAH: ill feed you to lord kingfish myshellf

VRISKA: Why is everything always so wonderful?

[peixesdust]

//QUICK PSA: Please stop attacking people who are choosing to follow me?

I understand that you may have issues with me, but don’t bother other people about it? I’m not saying that as a “ooooh i dont wanna lose followers” but as a “Don’t drag people into an issue that isn’t theirs”. I’m trying to be courteous here, but I also don’t find it very nice that every time this situation has been addressed it has been anonymously.

What do I mean by this?

I literally mean don’t go messaging people anonymously and try enforcing your ideal of the greater good everywhere.

I’m sorry that I upset you before on my Vriska blog, but to be honest I did not respond as best as I could have. What upset me more wasn’t being asked to tag something, but to be automatically accused of being a bad person from someone I didn’t even know. Why? Because they were anonymous. I don’t even know who it is that I’m dealing with personally here, which is something I have in my rules. If you have an issue with me, please address me face to face? I don’t think it’s fair for you to go around getting upset with other people about this situation when you still have not fully addressed it with me. Which is what this situation actually concerns.

And I don’t normally talk about this because I don’t like saying it as a “hindrance” in my own defense, but I AM autistic. I’m sorry if I use terminology that upsets you, but if you had been paying attention to my blog whatsoever I haven’t been using said terms since the situation occurred.

But like I said before. If you have an issue with me and you don’t want to face me directly? Then unfollow me. But please stop bothering other people. You’re undermining their judgement of character by trying to “let them know” details about a situation that they weren’t a part of. Don’t start drama when there’s absolutely no need for it.