#to be clear: fuck jkr

[supermarine-silvally]

Yara 😍 what's your hogwarts house, camp halfblood cabin and personality type if you don't mind answering

"I don't mind at all. I'm here to answer any questions you might have. I've been told that I can come across as a bit intimidating, having inherited my father's infamous glare and all, so this should help me work on that."

Ask Yara (or any of my OCs) anything!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Full offense here: can some people stop trying to turn the Neil Gaiman situation into something about JK Rowling??? Seeing posts doing this in the tag has actually pissed me the fuck off beyond reason now oh my god, this situation isn't about the terf queen and the fact that some of you are trying it just to try and say she isn't as bad as Neil is holy shit in a bad way.

[transexualpirate]

2000: everyone loves the fantastical magical universe a single mother created by herself in her amazing books!

2024: we regret to inform you she is currently engaging in denial of nazi crimes.

[drunktuesdays]

ok but can u plz link the 2 million word fic. for the community

Okay, i'm going to link it, anon, because i'm NOTHING but not community minded, but please understand that when i tell you I've been so bored this winter, I've been reading a 2 million word story (eta: i just did the math and it's THREE million) where Harry Potter is part phoenix, it's not a healthy place for me to be. It's not a proud moment for my spirit. Like, this story straight up belongs on SugarQuill. Sometimes in this story, Draco intones "Harry, I would like to have you," and I wince and have to tab away for a minute. Also it's one of those Slytherfen stories where everyone that's good in the books is actually bad, and everyone who's bad in the books is secretly good.

ALL THAT TO SAY.... it also has some of the very coolest and most fascinating worldbuilding i've ever read, and I genuinely never see some of the twists and turns coming, even though I think I've read the whole series like four times.

Also I think the author basically taught herself how to write as she was going, because the series picks up in quality SHARPLY as she goes on.

if you read it, you HAVE to talk to me about it.

The original isn't on AO3, it's on fanfiction dot net (because of course it is) but someone made a big ole mobi/pdf/epub, which is how i always read it....again, this isn't a straightforward rec!!!!!!

[a-worthy-mystery]

[hyperfixation-fix]

Can someone with a copy of the Prisoner of Azkaban do me a favour and check exactly what Prof Lupin says to Harry when he offers him the chocolate that first time they meet? It's for a fic ✌️

[fandumb-thoughts]

Harry Potter has something overarchingly horrible and bad happen to him every school year, yeah? Some things are caused by cascading plot decisions for the overall series, of course, but other things are less effected.

That is to say, it's awfully lucky that the events of, let's say Prisoner of Azkaban, don't happen at the same time as the events of Chamber of Secrets. All it would have taken is the Weasleys winning that prize money to visit Egypt a year earlier! The Triwizard Tournament could've happened just about any year!

It takes a bit of finagling, but I figured out that it's entirely possible to combine the events of the first five books into one horribly chaotic mess for just one (1) school year. And I wrote a fic about it, titled Harry Potter and the Speedrun From Hell. It only has 25 views right now??? Which is so beyond discouraging and annoying from a fandom so large. Cringey to advertise it, I know, but I really enjoy writing it and I want people to see it, so. Here I am.

[kittywaffles97]

the urge to write a modern wizarding au with jegulus (jeguly???) in the center... a reg who sings some Indochine when he thinks nobody's listening... sirius who loves metal covers of pop song he can shred his voice on.... remus who lives on energy drinks and cigarettes and somehow still manages to charm everyone around him... James who drinks green smoothies because they're good for you, pads, and pretends he can't terminate a bag of crisps in under five minutes... lily who gets a new piercing every other day with her girlfriends and always has paint in her hair... Marlene who plays rugby and wears high heels as well as she does combat boots... dorcas who smokes with Evan and Barty at their parents' parties, making skulls and dragons and flowers with the smoke... Mary who laughs loud enough to enchant a whole room, pulling Peter after herself so he'll socialize more because his cookies are divine and there's never too little weed in them... Pandora who shares stories with Alice and Frank about their high school days while pulling cards for her friends...

[defectivevillain]

dueling determination

pairing: Severus Snape/Reader

The reader’s race & gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used. 

summary: “I was going to ask if you’d be able to join me for a demonstration duel,” the professor eventually says, an easy smile on his face. You inhale slowly, trying to manifest the patience you need to finish the conversation. “It’s for the dueling club I’ve started, naturally.”

“Oh, um,” you stammer, relief coursing through you when you realize that he’s just asking for academic purposes. You sigh, not quite able to come up with an excuse on the spot. “Yeah, sure.” You see Severus eyeing you over his goblet out of the corner of your eye. You pretend not to notice.

Read this series from the beginning here for the context behind this third part.

word count: 1.9k | ao3 version

Gilderoy Lockhart just can’t seem to take a hint. The man is, in a word, an asshole. He has the most inflated sense of self-importance that you’ve ever seen in a person. Every conversation, Lockhart will brag and boast about himself, to the point where all your other colleagues are beginning to become annoyed with him too. Unfortunately, he sits next to you, so you’re somewhat unable to avoid him. At least, for a little while.

You soon begin to master the art of hasty exits from the Great Hall after meals. You arrive a few minutes early and eat quickly. The moment you see him enter, you exit. It leaves little time for discussion and even littler time for him to annoy you. Unfortunately, the professor catches on. To your immediate discontent and frustration, he starts arriving to breakfast at the same time as you. His seat is right next to yours—thank Merlin, you think sarcastically—and his desire for conversation is prevalent as always. You feel yourself growing more snappy and annoyed with each remark.  

The next meal, you have a brilliant idea. You pass your seat, ignoring the confused glances leveled at you, and continue walking until you’re behind an empty chair. Relief flooding through you, you sit down and begin eating. Unfortunately, after a few minutes, someone sits down next to you. You’re a moment away from cursing Lockhart out when you realize the professor sitting at your side isn’t Gilderoy Lockhart.

“Severus,” you remark, eyes widening as you realize that the seat you chose is directly next to the Potions professor.

“What are you doing?” Severus asks, his eyes flitting about your face as if searching for an emotion that will give him the answer. You blink at him and he looks across the hall to where you usually sit. Understanding passes across his face. Lockhart sits at his typical seat. His posture is abnormally straight and his eyes flit about the area. Severus turns back to his food. “Seeking refuge, I see.” You nod and take another bite of your food, risking a glance at your old seat. Unsurprisingly, Lockhart isn’t silent.

“Merlin, does he ever shut up?” You bemoan quietly, watching as Lockhart talks to the Muggle Studies professor—who looks rather chagrined at the thought of being trapped in a conversation with him. Unfortunately, you don’t realize you’re staring until he’s returning your gaze. Lockhart grins and gets up from his seat. Dread coils in your chest and you watch in slow-motion as the menace himself walks over to you. You tilt your head down and stare at your plate, but it doesn’t seem to dissuade him in the slightest.

“Professor!” The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor grins, running a hand through his hair in a gesture that is clearly supposed to be attractive. Unfortunately, it only makes you want to punch him in the face. Severus is silent at your side. You have to fight to keep the disgusted snarl from your face. “You’re not leaving me all by my lonesome over there, are you?”

“Lockhart,” you greet him in response, clenching your fists in your lap. Thankfully, the tablecloth hides them from view. You have to take several deep breaths before you can continue speaking to him. “I would never. I was simply… seeking some solitude.”

“Of course, of course,” Lockhart nods. He pushes a strand of hair behind his ear and you resist the compelling urge to stand up and walk away. “I simply can’t stand people who refuse to stop talking.” At that, Severus lets out a pointed cough that sounds rather reminiscent of a snarky laugh. Of course, Lockhart doesn’t notice. He only notices what he wants to notice, it seems. You have to resist a chuckle at the irony of his statement, too.

“Anyway, did you need anything from me?” You interject before he can go into one of his tormentous spiels about his adventures abroad. Lockhart blinks at you for a long moment. You’re rather brutally aware of Severus’s presence at your side. You want to be embarrassed, but you’ve made your disdain of the Defense professor clear to Severus many times now. Lockhart simply doesn’t give up.

“I was going to ask if you’d be able to join me for a demonstration duel,” the professor eventually says, an easy smile on his face. At least, you suspect that he thinks it to be easy. To you, however, the smile looks strained at best. You inhale slowly, trying to manifest the patience you need to finish the conversation. “It’s for the dueling club I’ve started, naturally.”

“Oh, um,” you stammer, relief coursing through you when you realize that he’s just asking for academic purposes. Unfortunately, a practice duel still necessitates the professor’s presence. You sigh, not quite able to come up with an excuse on the spot. “Yeah, sure.” You see Severus eyeing you over his goblet out of the corner of your eye. You pretend not to notice.

“Excellent!” The professor remarks, before proceeding to go into painful detail about where and when the duel is. Once you catch the time and date, you let your attention wander. You’re torn out of your thoughts when Lockhart grips your shoulder briefly. “Your help is greatly appreciated.” He winks and it makes your skin crawl. You bite down all sorts of insults and instead watch silently as he walks away.

Suddenly, you’re not hungry anymore. You push your plate away from you and get to your feet. Inexplicably, Severus gets up too. The two of you share a walk along the halls, until Severus turns a corner to go to his office. You make the way back to your own office, thoughts running a mile a minute. You hadn’t really wanted to volunteer yourself for that duel in the first place, but the entire prospect felt unavoidable.

As the week continues, you begin to dread the coming duel with Lockhart. The wizard is immensely frustrating, talking your ear off at every possible moment. Despite your attempts at avoidance, you constantly cross paths with him—to the point where you begin to believe that he’s orchestrating it. You’re both grateful and miffed that your classes are keeping you busy. You don’t see Gilderoy much throughout the rest of the week, but time passes rather quickly. Before long, you’re standing in the room that Lockhart has designated for the duel.

“Professor!” The DADA professor greets you with a smile. “Glad you could make it. You know I greatly appreciate your assistance.”

“Any time,” you respond with a smile that hurts your cheeks. Thankfully, Lockhart is too busy with his preparations to notice the discord in your voice. You feel rather out of place, but you manage to have a few conversations with some of your students to pass the time. Lockhart seems moments from getting things started when, suddenly, the doors swing open and a commanding presence enters the room. You watch in thinly-concealed shock as Hogwarts’s Potions professor walks towards you.

“Severus?” You blink at him once, twice. He stares at you in response. You’re almost expecting this to be a fever dream, because Severus’s presence is entirely surprising. “What are you doing here?” You’re sure the relief you’re feeling is showing in your voice, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Surely, this won’t be that bad if Severus is here.

“I’ll be your opponent,” Severus remarks, an unreadable expression on his face. You withhold the urge to grimace. Of course, you’re very grateful that you’re not alone with Lockhart. On the other hand, you had been anticipating the duel to be rather easy. Now that Severus is your opponent, you know that will not be the case. Fortunately, Lockhart gets things started before you can stammer and stutter any longer.

Gilderoy seems bent on making his presence known, as he goes into explanations concerning duels and the proper behavior when dueling someone. Admittedly, the longer he talks, the more you’re getting nervous. Severus is one hell of a duelist. You, on the other hand… Well. Your expectations for yourself are extremely low. You don’t think the duel will last much longer than a minute. Severus will defeat you soundly.

Lockhart finally steps off the stage, to your simultaneous relief and regret. Before long, Severus and you are walking to the center of the stage, before turning on your heels and taking three paces forward. The moment this is completed, you whip around and cast a shield. You think it to be an unnecessary movement, but you end up blocking a curse that would’ve definitely hurt your chances at winning.

You can’t even begin to describe the duel that ensues. Your focus has never been more intense, and your movements have never been quicker. Severus is a serious threat, after all. His spellcasting is unrivaled. Hell, he’s made spells before. Merlin, you’re kind of screwed, aren’t you? Despite your rather low chances at winning, you manage to focus on the duel at hand. Severus’s command of magic is beautiful and you find yourself nearly becoming entranced by it. You’ve never been more thankful for nonverbal spells, because Severus is far too fast and agile for you to cast verbal spells with accuracy.

You have no idea how much time passes. Everything in your surroundings fades to the background. Your breaths are short and winded, but you’re certain you’ve never felt more alive. At one point, you have to wipe the sweat off your forehead from the exertion. Severus takes that opportunity and casts something at you, to which you dodge and laugh. Your voice echoes in the silent chamber and if you had time, you’d feel embarrassed. Severus’s gaze falls on you as you smile, and you take the afforded opportunity for distraction and cast a spell to disarm him. There is nothing but silence for several moments and your heart is racing as you hold Severus’s wand in your non-dominant hand. You breathe heavily, taking on the shocked looks on the students’ faces. For almost an infinite amount of time, no one makes a sound. Thankfully, Lockhart must be entirely immune to the tension, because he claps his hands and makes himself the center of attention once more.

The Hufflepuff students cheer and you roll your eyes. You look to Severus, only to find that he has a rather uncharacteristic expression on his face. He almost looks impressed, awed. His dark eyes are gleaming in the low light of the room. You bite your lip and avert your eyes, passively allowing Lockhart to flit about and talk about the duel. Despite all the attention from all the students and the rather annoying Defense professor, you only really notice Severus’s gaze burning into the side of your face.

“Excellent!” Gilderoy claps, turning to address the students gathered around the space. “Well done, indeed. Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for this week! Our next meeting will be focused on defensive charms.” With that, the students all file out of the room. You turn to Severus and hold out his wand in your palm. Severus has a complex expression on his face as he takes a step closer and reaches out to take his wand back. The look on his face is a strange mix of wariness and something darker. You’re certain that you would’ve been stuck staring at Severus for hours, if not for Lockhart clapping a hand on your shoulder and breaking the tension. The Defense professor continues to praise you, but you only have eyes for Severus’s retreating figure.

next part

[punmster]

open for better quality <3

for my fic, "Draco Malfoy's Sudden Memory Gain", based off song "Fight or Flight" by Conan Gray (despite not actually relating to the whole infidelity thing in the song...)

[ebp-brain]

After the war with Voldemort is narrowly averted, Remus and the Marauders are getting along fine: steady jobs, decent flats, occasional evenings together to catch up. Then, their second holiday season after leaving Hogwarts, James and Lily make a proposal--about a big house in Hogsmeade, with a lot of empty bedrooms and plenty of space for a giant Christmas tree.

chapter 1 is up now!

The house is about a ten minutes’ walk from the Three Broomsticks. It’s on one of the quieter streets of Hogsmeade, in the opposite direction from the Shrieking Shack—a distance which Remus appreciates. While most of the houses towards the center of town are thatched cottages, there are some larger, more recently constructed buildings on its outskirts; this street has mostly Victorians. The front gates are decked with boughs of pine or holly, and the eaves and gables of the roofs are strung with twinkling lights. Candles glow in tall, narrow windows.

Many of the houses on the cobbled street are doubles, two doors side by side opening onto perfectly symmetrical rooms, but the one Lily and James lead them to is set slightly apart, with a low wall around a small front garden and a single weathered door. It’s three stories, if you count the attic that must reside under the peaked roof and the single turret. The walls are red brick, the wooden trim around the windows a faded white. The small tower sports big bow windows.

They stop in the cobbled street, just outside the low wrought-iron gate. In the soft glow of the streetlights and the neighbors’ luminous decorations, the house looks—well, magical. Almost like something out of a fairy tale.

[saintsenara]

TW Mention of transphobia

JKR being a firm believer that trans women are male predators in public bathrooms makes me conclude that she’d also share the (horrible) opinion that some people carrying the HIV virus are innocent and some are not, the demographics being the ones you pointed out. It reminds me of what Ursula K Le Guin said about Harry Potter - “stylistically ordinary, imaginatively derivative, and ethically rather mean-spirited.”

an absolute stone-cold banger of a quote from ursula le guin, which i chuckle at every time i see it.

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Is JK Rowling involved with the new Harry Potter land that is going to be at Epic Universe (Universal Orlando’s upcoming new park) in any way aside from owning the franchise?

....I don't think she's involved in the theme parks area of Harry Potter, but like, I'd consider it on the boycott list anyway with the rest of Harry Potter stuff because JK Rowling still profits from it which she proceeds to use to be transphobic and such.

[legendoftherisingtide]

me: “yeah i learned a lot of coping skills and techniques in the mental hospital”

the go to coping mechanism: sorting characters into hogwarts houses and pjo cabins and dnd classes

[rosieshipper]

do you support the creator of Harry Potter?

Oh absolutely not. JK Rowling can taste my boot in her mouth. She can get bent a fuck off the face of the earth for all I care

[poisonousquinzel]

sorry but if you actually think Cancel Culture ™ is a thing then you're kinda a dumb fuck. Cancel culture isn't real, holding people accountable for their actions is a thing, but this whole narrative around Canceling that's evolved over the past few years isn't real. It's never been an actual thing. Its just a fear mongering tactic to further vilify the groups who were being harmed in the first place and victimize the person who did something wrong.

Your fav being called out for playing an antisemitic video game that directly gives profits to a hugely influential TERF, who's said openly she sees getting profits / royalty cheques from her franchise as endorsements for her bigotry, is not "cancel culture". It's called the consequences for your actions.

You have every right to do and play whatever the fuck you want, but that goes both ways. If you go out of your way to build up and financially support these people who're openly advocating to take away trans people's rights, then you get to deal with people not trusting you because of it. You get to deal with trans and Jewish folks not feeling safe around you, not wanting to be around you or not wanting to talk to you. Because you have shown that you care more about nostalgia and temporary personal emotional gratification over the wellbeing and safety of those communities in the real world.

People have explained why supporting HL is wrong, people have explained why it's harmful, people have explained in detail the issues with this situation. You. Just. Don't. Care. You don't listen, or read, because in the end, you can't be bothered enough to put in the effort of having 1 moment of critical thinking.

It's not that folks don't have arguments or evidence, it's that it clearly does not matter to you. It's that the value of an antisemitic game full of one horrific thing after another is worth more to you than the real, living breathing people who are going to be, and have been, affected by this.

You come across as a bad person. Not because some person on Twitter determined you must be, but because your actions speak far louder. And they're screaming red flags.

I'm not going to argue with you over your own bad decisions and life choices. You've made your bed and are mad that people are telling you to lie in it.