#to any feds watching i support none of this

[disk-and-horse]

Hate to be a doomer on main but i think trump surviving an assassination attempt is just about the worst thing for the left politically. an assassination attempt in general is going to cause brain-dead liberals to sympathize with him and his fascist followers to go nuts but at least if he was dead he'd be...well, dead. and therefore politically non-viable.

i think rn we have to hope for an infection or something. or that his followers get whipped up into a brownshirt frenzy and try to do a bunch of hate crimes and/or a coup. which, like, would be bad for all the obvious reasons but might cause enough bad press to snap some centrists out of their wiemar-ass idiocy. and i don't think his supporters are competent enough to either do a large-scale decentralized genocide or coup the government.

and obviously things are not going well when you're hoping for political violence from your enemies! so. things are not looking great

[reiderwriter]

Flirting with the FBI

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word count: 7.1k

Request: Hiiii!! This is my first time requesting anything on this app, but Spencer reid has me in a chokehold. So, I was thinking that the reader is the unsub, and she's like this very good hacker who keeps teasing the fbi cause she's bored or something so she keeps sending hints about who she is or where she is but they keep getting nothing on her. And all of this just keeps getting on Spencer's nerves. And so when Spencer finds her, she keeps teasing him and acting like a brat so he "disciplines" her and takes her roughly and maybe a bit of spanking???

Warnings: a lot tbh - mentions of case details, mentions of domestic violence and police brutality, reader is a possible target of a serial killer, bad tech skills from the writer who really couldn't be bothered to do anymore research than the actual CM writing team, rough Dom Spencer, brat reader, sexual innuendo, semi-public sexual play, spanking, dirty talk (good girl, brat etc.) fingering, raw sex/creampie, aftercare, slight dacryphilia (crying kink) and bimbofication.

A/N: My last fic was a heartwarming family fic, and now I'm back to being depraved. Apologies to anyone here for cute fluff 😭

Masterlist

You always thought hacking the FBI mainframe would be hard, but it's one of the easiest things you've done all week.

If they were going to sit around doing nothing while a serial killer ran around in their own backyard, then obviously, they needed a helping hand. Or a helping poem or two.

Getting into their security camera feed was just an added bonus.

You grabbed your bowl of popcorn and settled into your desk chair, clicking open the window to find which room exactly they would gather in to freak out together.

You made sure to get their attention, blacking out all the computers in the office as they ran to a backroom where a very distraught looking blonde woman was sat. She was evidently the go-to tech support of about six agents who quickly ran to her room to figure out what the issue was. It was show time.

“There once was a serial killer,

Who ate boys and girl both for his dinner,

He cut, diced and slashed,

Left the feds quite abashed,

So I leave this message to be clearer”

The poem scrolled onto their screen on a loop, flashing in and out quickly before you let the computer systems relax again.

You thought they'd panic, scramble for a pen or paper or something, but none of the agents moved until the flashing was over.

You watched curiously as an older man took charge of the scene, likely directing the woman at the desk to figure out who you were, where you lived, and what your social security number was. She got to work quickly, and he moved on to the other agents.

None of them had written the poem down. None had even taken a picture, but one man started talking, and for a while, all eyes and attention in the room were focused solely on him. His hands moved as his mouth did, as if he were casting a spell over the room as he spoke. Even more intriguing was the fact that he rarely seemed to make eye contact with any of them as he spoke. He wasn't conversing or giving directions. He was simply talking.

And you really wanted to listen in.

The younger man began to walk and you watched him quickly pace over to a whiteboard, switching from one feed to another as he made his way there, and pick up a pen before notating the poem perfectly.

Whoever this man was, he was making you feel more and more excited about the game of cat and mouse you had begun with the FBI. You weren't entirely sure if he was to be the cat or the mouse, though.

A few days later, they'd seemingly lost the motivation to work, so you again did their job for them.

With another accompanying limerick to help them along, of course.

“There once was a bullpen full of agents,

Who thought they were very surveillant,

But a simply code crack,

And there system did hack,

A young girl who lived quite adjacent.”

This time, you let the words linger on the screen longer, as you slipped your information into their files, leaving more bread crumbs they could follow to the real villain.

The Agent - Doctor, you had since learned - took up his pen once again and scribbled your first poem next to your most recent.

Doctor Spencer Reid. An IQ of 187, three PhDs and however many Bachelor's Degrees, a member of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, and, as you could somehow tell from the grainy security footage, incredibly attractive man.

He was calm, again talking with his hands as he notated, again drawing the rooms attention like he was the sun and everything needed to orbit him to sustain life. You wondered what it would be like to fluster him.

Typing something out quickly, you broke back into the FBI system. It was risky doing it again so soon again, knowing that their tech analyst was already actively hunting you down, cyber-wise. But you couldn't resist.

“The tall, dark and handsome employee,

How I do wish that he could enjoy me,

I would gladly submit,

we match wit for wit,

But he's trying his best to arrest me.”

The BAU team stood silent on the camera before the two women on the team burst into rambunctious laughter. The camera feed was archaic, black and white, and grainy to boot, but even you couldn't miss the red stain against Doctor Spencer Reid's cheeks. A bonus was the other gentlemen subtly posturing, trying to figure out exactly which of them was “tall, dark, and handsome.”

The payoff for that poem was so great that over the course of the next few days, you kept serenading him with love poems among your quick hints about the actual crime being committed.

You'd first suspected the man of being dangerous when you'd seen the state of his wife. 19 domestic disturbance calls in two months, 0 arrests, and 1 very cushy job as a police detective. You'd done some simple computer programming for your local precinct, inputting data from cases into an algorithm that helped track everything easier, so you'd been intimate with cases that he'd handled.

A pattern had emerged, a series of murders of “undesirables,” people the city didn't care about when alive and certainly didn't have the resources to allocate to after their deaths. Prostitutes, the homeless, and runaway foster kids. All missing or dead, all cases handled by the same officer. The officer that lived next door to you and was one beer away from beating his wife into submission 5 days a week.

After your third 911 call, you'd been notified of your contract termination with the precinct. After the tenth, you noticed parole cars driving by every hour.

By call number 19, you were sure it was a miracle he hadn't tried to have you arrested.

So you turned back to the FBI to see what they could do about a man who treated his wife, and basically everyone else, like scum of the earth.

“Please don't get sidetracked by my hacking,

I'm a good girl, your team I am backing,

the killer, you see,

Is right now hunting me,

You're the ones who can do better tracking.”

You watched the tension snap back into place in the office as, for the first time, Spencer Reid was silent at your message. They all got back to work quickly, going over the files you'd dropped in their servers.

That night, Spencer Reid stayed in the office late, reading through piles and piles of files and looking for the connection he needed. You watched in pity, feeling almost guilty that you'd placed this burden on him instead of just approaching them honestly. But you'd called the police before, and it hadn't worked, so getting attention anyway you could was the only way to go.

You watched for so long that you began noticing his small habits. Each time you sensed frustration, he would run a hand through his hair and tug it slightly. When he found something, he leaned in closer to the page, as if his proximity to the words would make them clearer. Finally, he stood and began clearing his files. But you weren't quite ready to sign off yet, the shouting already beginning in the apartment next to yours, so you quickly typed out the first thing that came to mind to get him to stay.

“There once was a doctor called Reid,

Who I simply and truly just need,

I would lie on my back,

And then let him attack,

Any inch of my body with his seed.”

He fumbled the files in his haste to remove your words from his screen, from every screen now in the building, face awash with embarrassment as he looked around for some sign that no one witnessed your words.

Luck was not to be had as the tech analyst - Penelope Garcia - came shooting out of her office to join him in the near empty bullpen, and the older team leader - Aaron Hotchner - also looked out over the bannister from his office as they bore witness to your seduction.

You were driving Spencer Reid crazy.

He'd spent the last two weeks tracking down a serial killer who may or may not exist based on the word of a set of limericks delivered to the BAU through illegal means that had begun unabashedly flirting with him.

This latest limerick was his last straw.

“The cameras are how I can see you,

I do find myself enjoying the view,

His hair is so fine,

I wish he was mine,

The agent with more PhDs than two.”

“Another score, pretty boy, it was about time someone noticed your good looks instead of your brain for once.” Morgan patted him on the shoulder, barely containing his glee and laughter.

“She's watching us through security feed, and that's all you have to say?” he grumbled, writing out this limerick again, the words to the others burned into his brain. “She's playing with me.”

“It sure sounds like she'd enjoy doing just that,” Emily laughed from her desk, “but I think she might be right, Spencer. Every case file she's given us has suspicious activity on it. They're all unsolved, but the victims aren't linked.”

“He's crossing race and gender boundaries, but he's hitting undesirables.”

They had a case because of you. It didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy handcuffing you and putting you in a cell once this was all finished.

“WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE,” Penelope shouted from her office, to no avail. If it was at one computer, it was on all of them.

“The agents grew closer by day,

As the killer wanted to escape,

He paced across the floor,

As I watched by his door,

Getting closer than the agents could say.”

He paused then for a second, thinking through each of the limericks in turn and the panic began.

“Closer than… Emily, the officer that took in all of the cases, what was his name?”

“Officer Falstaff, why?”

“I think he might be our killer. And I think he knows she's on to him, or if he doesn't, he will soon.” He stood suddenly, grabbing a file and sprinting to Penelope’s office, Emily and Morgan trailing close behind.

“Spencer, wait-”

“No time. If we want them both alive, we have to move now.”

Throwing the door to Penelope’s room open, he didn't even bother with niceties.

“Can you get her a message?” He demanded, panting from the short run.

“A wha-? Spencer, what are you talking about?”

“Can you send the hacker a message? Or leave her one so she can find it when she comes?”

Penelope swivelled around in her chair once again, doing who-knows-what to answer his question.

“There's no telling what she actually sees in our servers, Spencer, we didn't see any breach in classified files, the only thing she's done is read your personal file and drop us hints.”

His hands closed into fists as he nodded along. “So no?”

“No, Spencer, I'm sorry. Why? Are you starting to grow fond of our little helper.”

“She's not our little helper. She's a criminal. And she'll be dead soon if I don't confirm with her that we have the right guy - excuse me.”

The anger was washing over him now, as he left the room to get some air, getting only as far as the corridor before slamming an open palm into the wall and resting his forehead against it for a moment, just thinking.

The stress of the case was almost too much for him as he turned around and rested his back against the wall, sliding down it until he was sat on the floor. He may have despised you at that moment, but he didn't want you to get yourself killed.

Something nagged him, still, some stress or anger that hadn't yet surfaced, or some case fact he was missing. A glint at the corner of his eye had him looking up to the camera currently trained directly on him.

Computers are useless, he thought to himself, when you can send a letter.

The next time you sat down at your desk, you weren't exactly shocked to see an up close and personal shot of Aaron Hotchner - they'd turned your security stream into a one way facetime and you were sat directly opposite the big boss himself in an interrogation room.

“Checkmate, I guess,” you said, waiting for the man to move.

A signal from behind the camera let him know you were online and watching. He picked up a pen and paper and scribbled down something before holding the note out to you once more.

The name and location of the bastard next door. They'd done it, and now you simply had to drop your evidence, shut down your computer, and wait for the sirens to sound.

You felt slightly sad typing out your last message, knowing that you had no more reason to stay in touch with the team now. Still, you were only human and couldn't resist the chance to say something more.

“Aaron Hotchner and his clever team,

Working with you has been like a dream,

When Reid comes it is wet,

And my mind is all set,

Oh, I do wish that he'd make me cream.”

The camera turned seconds after your message was sent, and there he was, reading intently, frow creased in annoyance as he tried to remain calm. He, too, picked up a pen and paper.

“I have questions,” the paper said when he turned it around. Holding it up for a few seconds before returning his pen to paper. You typed out a message before he could finish dictating his, though.

“When you find me there's lots for me to say,

I can't help simply feeling this way,

Your profile I read,

Can't believe you're a Fed,

I yearn for you all night and day.”

Somehow, the lines between his brow deepened as he quickly scribbled out another message. This one wasn't a question, though. It was simply two words.

He'd written your name on that paper. He'd found you.

You weren't sure if the tingle that ran up your spine was fear or anticipation. One one hand, you'd likely committed multiple felonies in the pursuit of justice, and the SWAT team about to pick up the killer was going to knock for you, too. On the other hand, it was pretty much a given that you would be seeing Spencer Reid in person in the next few hours.

“The Doctor had finally cracked it,

The only identity that could fit,

The pretty young thing,

Who'd been flirting with him,

And was thinking of sitting on his…”

You sent a second message along with the first.

“I couldn't make this one rhyme, Doc. Come and get me.”

The sound of the FBI outside your neighbour's door had you stepping away from the computer finally. It was time to get ready to see him. You stepped out of your robe and into the shower as you waited to be collected and hauled into a police vehicle.

xxx

So far, you were a bit disappointed by the look of the BAU offices. It was smaller than it appeared on the CCTV, and you hadn't exactly given the tour. Unless the whole tour was the wall from the elevators, through the bullpen and straight to interrogation room one. You were also slightly embarrassed that you had yet to be greeted by any of your favourite characters yet. The lead swat officer had led you in some desk agents dropping by to have you fill out some simple documents - waiving your rights and all that. You'd seen not even a single member of the BAU since dropping in two hours ago, but you felt his eyes on you.

You faced the mirror, trying your best to stare straight through it and into the man beyond.

Spencer Reid was there. He had to be. He was too curious to be anywhere else. You smiled at him through the mirror and waited.

You were right, of course. Spencer stood on the opposite side of the one-way window and watched you look for him in every inch of the glass. He watched you squirm when you couldn't find anything, watched you pick at your nails as he made you wait.

He watched you cross and uncross your legs, the short skirt you'd slipped into just before you left providing just enough mystery to catch his eye and his breath.

He was annoyed, frustrated, a little bit impressed, anxious, and - to his peril - turned on.

“Spencer,” Hotch said, breaking the man's concentration. “We can't keep her that much longer. Go in and say something, or I'll cut her loose.”

Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away and stepped out of the waiting room before letting himself into yours.

“Miss Y/N, my name is Doctor Spencer Reid, I'm a profiler working with the Behavioural An-”

“You're joking, right?” You asked, eyes lighting up, spine straightening as you looked up at the man. “I know who you are, Doc.”

“Please call me Doctor Reid,” he asked, setting down a file on the table and looking over the desk at you.

“Oh, I don't even get your first name.” You lifted your leg and ran it along the side of his until he moved his chair back, just out of reach. You pouted as he began reading through documents, asking you to confirm exactly which technical breaches you were responsible for.

“And the breach at 1:27pm on Thursday 5th-”

“Yes, that was me, too. They were all me, Doc, is that all? Are we finished now?”

“I don't know, are we finished? Can I leave?”

“No,” you shouted, just as he stood up to gather his things. “No, don't go. I want to talk to you.”

He sat back down, finally looking at you instead of words on a page.

“Do you enjoy attention, Miss Y/N?” He asked, voice cold but gaze burning like fire into your skin.

“As much as anyone does.”

“Do you enjoy my attention?” The words hung between you for a few minutes as you watched him carefully, searching for the right answer.

“What do you think, Doc?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid,” he repeated reflexively.

“I know your name,” you smiled, and he finally looked away, breaking contact to regroup for a second.

“We have reason to believe you used your backdoor into our system to access my personal file, is that correct?” It may have been asked as a question, but Spencer Reid already knew the answer.

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?”

You laughed at the simple question, sure that your behaviour until this point was evidence enough to answer it.

“Why? Because you're attractive and your smart and-”

“Why haven't you used the content of the files as leverage? I've been digging at you for the last half hour, and you have plenty of ammunition to throw back at me, yet you haven't. Why?”

For the first time in a while, you were speechless.

“Oh. Wow. Should I have said something? Would you have felt more comfortable if I were a horrible person using your background to make you feel vulnerable?”

“Why, Y/N?”

You sighed and looked back up at him.

“I'm interested in you. That's it. Honestly, there is nothing in your file more interesting than how you look running your hands through your hair.”

His jaw clenched and unclenched before he let out a sigh.

“So you're a compulsive liar.” He said it so finitely it was like a kick in the teeth.

“Or maybe you're just insecure. I can help with that.”

He shot you another warning look as a grin spread over your lips. Yes, it was very fun to mess with Spencer Reid.

“FBI Agents aren't allowed to sleep with suspects.”

“You want to sleep with me?”

His eyes went wide as he realized his mistake, mouth opening and closing as he tossed another annoyed look in your direction.

The door to the interrogation room opened, and Reid quickly bolted out of his seat as Aaron Hotchner entered. The two men shared a nod before the younger man left the room entirely.

“Such a shame, I thought we were really getting somewhere.”

To your surprise, Hotchner’s lips curled up in a laugh as he sat down, straightening his suit.

“Miss Y/N, we've reviewed the information you've given us and taken into account your motives, and the FBI has decided not to prosecute you for your actions.”

You sat for a minute, Hotch doing the same, the both of you caught waiting for each other to say something or continue.

“But?” You prodded, knowing there was more left to say.

“But, we'd ask for your cooperation on cases in the future that require technological man-power. In a consultancy role, of course. You wouldn't be given a badge or a gun or any clearance, and you'd need to be with an agent at all times.”

You tapped your fingers against the desk, trying to figure out if this deal was beneficial or not.

“I'll do it if I can pick the Agent.”

Now, the man was fully smiling at you or giving you what you assumed passed for a smile in his books.

“We had recommended Doctor Reid for the role. Of course, if you're more comfortable with another agent, you can-”

“Doctor Reid is perfect, thank you.”

The man nodded and stood, and you stood with him as he led you quietly out of the room.

A flustered Spencer Reid exited the adjoining room, hurrying to catch Hotch before he really signed his life away to you.

“Hotch, what is this?” He demanded, stopping the man in his tracks. They both paused, turning around and moved a few feet awaywfrom.you whispering out their argument.

You couldn't catch most of it, but you did happen to catch the phrases “man-eater,” “I'm not good with people,” and “Spencer, this will be good for you.” Victory in the end went to Hotch, who promptly turned on his heel and kept walking down the hall.

“I work here now,” you said, grinning up at Spencer.

“No, you don't.”

“According to your boss, I do. And you're my babysitter.”

“You're a criminal. You hacked into the FBI database to leave ominous clues to multiple murders.”

“If you call those ominous clues, I'm curious how people usually flirt with you.”

“They don't. Why…why are we having this conversation?”

He stormed off ahead of you, and you quickened your pace to catch up to him, following him down a familiar hallway to what was obviously tech central at the BAU.

“Spencer, seriously? You're walking around looking like that, and no one hits on you?”

He stopped abruptly, and you ran into his back before he turned around to scowl at you again.

“Can we keep this serious, please?”

“I'm very serious about flirting with you, and I'm stumped why more people aren't.”

“Okay, let's go somewhere and talk,” his hand landed on your waist, readying his grip to forcibly move you if need be.

“I thought that's what we were doing.” Instead of allowing him to move you, you leaned into his touch, stepping closer and raising a hand to his chest, as his head dipped to maintain eye contact.

“No, this isn't talking, this is some weird foreplay I've never heard of, and I'd like you to leave my office if you're going to continue,” the woman sat at the desk exclaimed, horror and amusement fighting a battle for her facial expressions. “I like to keep my office a no trauma zone, so please take a walk to the nearest bed or storage closet or car and you can shove your tongues down each other's throats in peace and out of my sight, please and thank you.”

Spencer tried to step away, but a hand on his tie kept him close and kept his eyes on you. You poked your head out around him and smiled at the other woman.

“Sorry to disturb you. I'm Y/N. Based on the tech, I assume we will be working with each other soon.”

“Oh my gosh, you were, like, my number one most hated person last week. Penelope Garcia, tech analyst.”

“I'm sorry about that. If it makes it any better, it was really hard to get past some of your firewalls. And I couldn't even touch the classified files.”

“Apology accepted, on the condition that you lead young Reid out of my office right now before he explodes.”

You grinned and grabbed the man's hand, sending Penelope a quick goodbye as you pulled him out of the room.

He stumbled behind you for a few moments before catching up and pulling you in a different direction, keeping your hands intertwined as he bee-lined for the elevators and pushed the button to go down.

It arrived, and he pulled you in, not releasing your grip until the doors were fully closed and you were alone.

“Getting me all alone, Doc? What do you have in mind?”

“I'm driving you home.”

“My apartment is a crime scene, and I have no family in the city.”

“What about friends?”

“I've been stalked by a homicidal police officer for the last month and barricaded myself into an apartment. Do you think I have friends?”

His gaze was somewhat softer as he looked at you again. You saw the math happening in his head as he tried to figure out what to do with you. You also saw his brain short circuiting when you wrapped yourself around his arm.

“We're friends now, Doc. Isn't that right?”

“What?”

“We're friends,” you repeated again, tone becoming a little defensive in a pout.

“We are not friends, Y/N. We've known each other for less than 6 hours, and we haven't engaged in any friendly conversation.”

“We've known each other for two weeks, and I've been more than friendly enough for the both of us.”

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Gesturing for you to go first, Spencer hurried you out of the elevator and into the parking garage.

“Trust me, Spencer, deep down, part of you really wants to be friends with me,” you said poking his chest with a finger. You couldn't resist flattening your hand against his surprisingly hard chest and letting the hand drop slightly.

“And an ever deeper down part of you doesn't want to be friends at all,” you smiled at him.

He caught your wrist before it could reach his belt buckle, your unconscious finish line, spinning you around and dragging you to his car.

The biting cold of metal cutting into your wrists was the first indication that maybe Spencer Reid wasn't as easy to mess with as you'd hoped. He closed the handcuffs around your wrists and handed you into the car as you gaped at him.

“Spencer!”

“Doctor Spencer Reid.”

“I’m not a criminal, Spencer, let me go.”

“I'll let you go when you prove to me you can behave.”

You pouted as he strapped you into the car and closed the door, walking around to the passenger side before letting himself in.

“What's next? Are you going to gag me?” You scoffed as he turned over the engine and began backing out of the parking lot.

“No. I think you'd enjoy that too much.”

The drive to Spencer's apartment was long and quiet as you sat pouting in the passenger seat. Every few seconds, you twisted and moved your arms, fidgeting left and right so he could see how much the restraints bothered you. Luckily, he'd handcuffed your hands in front of your body, so you still sat somewhat comfortably, but you didn't want him to know that.

He pulled up to the building and turned off the engine, pulling out his keys.

“Let's go,” he said, not even sparing you a look as he climbed out.

“Spencer, I'm handcuffed. How do I even get out?”

“You'll figure it out. You're a smart girl, right?”

He closed his door and began walking, and you quickly fumbled your way out.

“Spencer… Spencer, your neighbours are going to ask questions about you bringing a handcuffed girl into your apartment!” You whispered at him as you paced behind him, somehow running to catch up with his mere walk.

“I don't have neighbours like you, Y/N. They won't notice a thing.”

“Right, okay. And when you murder a dozen people over a six month period, they won't hack the federal government.” You rolled your eyes as he unlocked the door, taking your arm and finally handing you into the apartment.

It was dark and cold, and you shivered, feeling his body pushed in right behind yours, closing the door before he felt around for the light switch.

When the lights turned on, you blinked, adjusting to the light again as he walked you further into the apartment, hands on your hips as you slowly stumbled forward.

“Can you take the handcuffs off now?” You asked, looking over your shoulder at him.

“And let you touch my things? No.”

You shook off his hands and walked further into the room.

“You know I can still mess with your stuff with my hands tied up like this,” you said, walking to the nearest bookshelf.

“Whoops, look at that,” you said, pulling a book off the shelf and letting it fall to the floor between you with a thud.

“Y/N!” He exclaimed, voice pitched up in exasperation.

“Oh, this stack of books on the ground looks well organized. Oopsie!” You acted out tripping over the books, sending them flying in different directions.

“One more time, Y/N, mess with my stuff one more time-”

You didn't hear the words as you pulled yet another book off his shelf and let it tumble to the ground.

He was on you in seconds, lifting your wrists and pinning them to the top shelf, pressing his body against yours as he stretched you out.

You gasped at both the sudden contact and the tight grip he now had on your hands.

“Tell me, do you actually want to be in control, or do you just think you should want to be in control?”

“What's the difference?”

“The difference is how much you enjoy it. I think you're only being a brat to get a rise out of me. You're doing this because there's no one else in your life that will give you exactly what you crave."

"And what would that be?"

"Attention," he whispered into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Great, thanks for the therapy. Are you going to show me how much I can enjoy relinquishing control now?”

“Brat,” he spat at you.

“Fed,” you spat back.

“You have a problem with law enforcement?” He asked, his breath hitting your ear as you tried not to shiver again at his touch.

“My neighbour was a serial killer whose day job was police brutality," you said, as if the answer was obvious, but Spencer still stared, waiting for true confirmation.

“Yes I have a problem with law enforcement. What, are you going to spank me?”

His eyes lit up, and you suddenly wondered if you'd made a mistake.

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?”

“N-No.” You stuttered, but he'd already begun moving you over to his couch.

“It was a joke. Spencer, it was a joke, don't-”

You underestimated his strength as he flipped you around and guided you down over his lap. Keeping your hips raised, he used one hand to hold you down while the other pushed up your tight skirt.

“S-Spencer, I really don't think-”

“Then don't think,” he said, bringing his hand down hard on your ass as you cried out in shock and pain.

“Stop thinking. You think too much, let me do it for you.”

With each hit, your shock grew fuzzy, melting into pleasure as you felt wetness pooling between your thighs.

The doctor you thought would be an easy target was not sadistically returning every teasing word back to you with his hands, letting bruises blossom all over your ass as he delivered painfully arousing strikes.

His hand stopped and he rubbed your ass as you twitched at the gentleness, panties sticking to the folds of your cunt as you absent mindedly pushed up into his touch.

“See, now you're listening,” he said, fingers trailing down to touch you over the sopping undergarments.

With two quick fingers, the crotch of your panties peeled away from your skin and he was plunged deep inside you, fingers pressing in as his thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Spencer-”

“Doctor Reid. You can use my full title now or you don't get to cum.”

“D-Doctor Reid, please!” His thumb rubbed slowly over your clit bit his fingers didn't move as you shuddered and contracted around them.

“Please what?” He asked, voice light as if he wasn't two knuckles deep in you already.

“Please make me cum, Doctor Reid!”

“Good manners,” he said as he finally began pumping his digits in and out of you, spreading your legs wider as you clawed your hands into his couch cushions to ground yourself in the moment. His spare hands left your wrists, and you felt them again, delivering small, almost cute hits to your ass as you twitched around his fingers, shying away from the painful contact.

“That's it, Y/N, let yourself relax,” he whispered, shifting his weight underneath you as you became aware of the tent in his pants.

Your brain was jello as you tried to bounce back on his fingers, chasing your oncoming orgasm.

“Look at you, trying to cum on my hands. You're just an attention-seeking slut, right?”

His fingers continued ppimg as your tongue hung loosely in your mouth.

“Answer me, or I'll leave you here high and dry, Y/N. Tell me you're an attention seeking slut that's been fingering yourself to the thought of this for weeks.”

“I-I'm an a-atten…tion seeking s-slut,” you stifled a moan and bit back tears as he pressed another finger inside of you. “Spencer I can't I need to cum,” you cried, tears spilling down your cheeks pathetically.

“Say it.”

“I'm an attention seeking s-slut that's been th-thinking about this-”

“Fingering yourself,” he corrected.

“Fingering myself to the thought of this for w-weeks,” you cried, sniffing now as your thighs shook in anticipation.

“What a nasty little slut,” he said as you finally came, your cum running down his fingers as he kept his hands moving.

Your tears were falling freely now as you bit back little sobs and chokes of emotions, the pleasure from the orgasm almost too much to handle.

Underneath you, Spencer shifted, freeing himself from his position and laying you fully down on the sofa as your legs still shook.

“There once was a doctor called Reid,” he said, unzipping his pants as he took up his place behind you.

They were your words, and your body signalled warnings everywhere as his hands pulled your hips up once more, pulling your knees up too to bend under you, laying you face down ass up.

“Who I simply and truly just need.”

He pulled the panties down to the crook of your knees before leaning down over you so he could deliver the next few lines as whispers into your ear.

“I would lie on my back, And then let him attack, Any inch of my body with his seed.”

A weak moan escaped your lips as he sank his cock inside of you, lips still pressed against your ears.

“I don't want you on your back, though. I much prefer you like this.”

His cock slid out of you and returned with a speed and strength that had your eyes rolling back in your head.

He was thick, maybe a little longer than average, and he filled you perfectly using your cum as lubricant.

“Such a good listener, now, Y/N. I like you like this,” he said with a moan, thrusting hard and deep inside of you.

You didn't talk. You could only drool and moan into his couch as he emptied your brain one thrust at a time.

You didn't think about how he wasn't wearing a condom. You didn't think about how he'd spat your words back at you, ready to fill you with his seed. You just sat in a pool of your own pleasure and let Spencer Reid use your body as you'd been begging him to for weeks.

He raised your hips and gave one last thrust, stilling there for a second as he filled your empty body and mind with his cum and his entire being.

If you weren't obsessed with Doctor Spencer Reid before this, you certainly were now.

He pulled out of you quickly, wiping his cock on your skirt before hurrying off to the bathroom to clean up.

Your brain was still absent when he returned, cleaning you off and finally removing the handcuffs. He removed your clothes, replacing them with his spares as he threw the soiled ones into the wash.

When you regained your wits or what was left of them, you were laid out in his bed, wrapped in a blanket and stuffed into a sweater and sweats, fully covered from head to toe. Spencer was picking up his keys and trying his shoelaces.

“Where are you going?’ You asked sleepily, stumbling to the doorway. Your legs were still shaky, and your movement was already limited. You knew that tomorrow, the use of your limbs would be nonexistent.

“Back to the office. Now that you're not around, maybe I'll be able to get some actual work done.”

“Spencer,” you said, forcing him to turn around to look back at you.

Before he could say anything else, you pressed your lips to his, hot and needy, wrapping your arms around his neck as he kissed back, slipping his tongue into your mouth and pressed you into the wall next to the door.

When you both pulled away for breath, you detangled your limbs, smoothing out his shirt and readjusting his tie.

He looked down at you, waiting for you to say something else as you met his gaze, grinning at him.

“I look forward to working with you, Doctor Reid.”

[th3-c0rps3-r0gu3]

Ravens

pairings: Natasha X fem!reader. Established relationship.

Summary: y/n always feeds the ravens. People bully her for it. But what happens when her kindness pays off.

Warnings: swearing (minor).

y/n always fed the ravens outside the compound. None of the other Avengers knew why and some made fun if her for it. Specifically Tony. This was one such day.

Y/n was on the rooftop feeding the ravens again. It was a habit. Y/n had always been a bit if an outcast to the Avengers. But she never minded. And then she had gotten close with one. Natasha Romanoff. And one thing led to another and now she had an amazing girlfriend. Y/n smiled as the raven closest to her grabbed sed from her open palm. Out of all of the birds this one was bravest. And y/n could always tell which it was due to the fact this particular raven had a white beak. Y/n had even taken the liberty to name the raven. The name in question was nyx. She had chosen it because of the fact nyx was the same name as the goddess and personification of night.

"feeding the crows again y/n? Really?"

Tony stark said coming up behind her scaring the ravens away.

"not crows, ravens tony."

Y/n corrected.

"like there's a difference."

Tony snarked. Y/n sighed before responding.

"ravens are bigger than a crow is. They have a larger bill and tail shape and flight pattern."

Tony scoffed.

"I should nickname you bird nerd. Who cares about the difference between them."

"you asked."

Tony once again scoffed. Tony loved to scoff.

"it was hypothetical y/n"

Y/n turned around and glared at Tony while he just grinned at her.

"leave her alone stark"

A commanding voice rang out as Natasha came to view. Tony sighed.

"aww c'mon rushman you've got to admit your girlfriend's habit is weird."

He said. Tony had never stopped calling Natasha her Alias name as he knew she hated it.

"it's Romanoff stark. And her habit is fine. There's nothing wrong with it."

Natasha defended. Y/n shot her a grateful look. Tony scoffed again before leaving. Natasha walked over to y/n and gave her a hug.

"just so you know I love the fact you feed the ravens. I think it's sweet of you."

Y/n was quick to reciprocate the hug and she smiled at her girlfriends words.

"thanks nat. I'm also proud of you for remembering their ravens and not crows."

Y/n said smiling.

"well I would be a pretty shit girlfriend if I can't even remember the type of bird my girlfriend feeds."

Natasha joked. Y/n smiled again.

"let's head inside and grab some snacks and we can watch some movies."

Natasha suggested taking y/ns hand in hers. Y/n smiled and nodded before tossing the remaining seed for the ravens to eat. Unsurprisingly the first of the black birds to approach was nyx. The two women disappeared into the compound but y/n saw nyx just before they vanished into the building.

Y/n still fed the ravens. Despite Tony's constant teasing she still fed the ravens. "I feed them and they keep me company" y/n always reasoned. Nyx had gotten to the point of eating out if y/ns palm and was even starting to sit in her hand to eat. Something y/n was really proud of. And despite everything Natasha still supported her girlfriends hobby no matter how curious.

The day had started normal for y/n and Natasha. Natasha woke up first had coffee, dragged y/n out of bed and then they had breakfast together before Natasha went to train and y/n went to feed the ravens. But today the ravens weren't there. Y/n spread the seed but no bird came. Disappointed y/n went back into the compound. The next day was the same. As was the next. It would be a week before y/n saw any raven near the compound.

Natasha and y/n stood on the rooftop. Natasha had noticed how y/n was a little down after the ravens stopped appearing. It didn't help that Tony kept making jokes about how they abandoned her. Y/n was sitting cross legged in the roof throwing the seed around the roof hoping that maybe, just maybe, the ravens would return. Her hopes were low but still. Natasha was just about to call her girlfriend back into the compound when suddenly a familiar raven swooped down and landed Infront of y/n.

Y/n held out her hand with seed and smiled. Nyx was back. And that meant alot. The black bird however had other plans then eating. Nyx hopped onto y/ns hand but completely ignored the seed.

"someone plots against you my lady."

Nyx said almost excitedly. Y/n stares at nyx in shock.

"I have the other ravens watching them as we speak but from what we've gathered over the past week they plan to attack you and your roomates."

Nyx spoke again.

"you... you can talk?"

Y/n asked shocked.

"to you. You are kind and feed us. You aren't cruel to us."

Nyx answered. Y/n took a deep breath.

"do you know who is planning to attack?"

She asked the bird.

"a place called HYDRA"

Nyx responded. Y/n nodded but concern crosses her features.

"do you.. do you have a name or can I keep calling you nyx?"

Y/n asked.

"nyx. My name is nyx. It is what my lady deemed me so it is my name. You feed us even during tough times. Us ravens owe you."

Nyx stayed confidently.

"I owe you nothing. But... thank you for the warning."

Y/n looked down at nyx as she spoke. The raven nodded.

"then let us aid you as a thanks for your aid."

Nyx seemed as though she wouldn't take no for an answer. Y/n nodded and nyx hopped onto her shoulder.

"I will be your main advisor of ravens and will monitor and translate the others for you as I am the only raven to have picked up on human language."

Nyx stated. Y/n nodded taking in this information surprisingly calmly.

"I'll keep my window open for you."

Y/n said. Nyx bobbed her head before y/n turned to a shocked Natasha.

"you heard nyx we need to prepare for an attack. Let's go warn the others."

She said shaking Natasha out of her shell shocked state. Natasha nodded eyeing the raven but she went into the compound to warn the avengers.

"can I please rub this in Tony's face."

Y/n whispered to nyx.

"god yes. He is a nuisance and to annoy him would be a great relief to me."

Nyx replied. Y/n smiled and waltzed into the compound with nyx on her shoulder after Natasha.

A/n: no idea what I think if it. Lmk if it's shit or not.

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

Prologue

tags: prince gojo x princess f!reader, arranged marriage au, mentions of abuse from reader's family, tw: she is yelled at and stuck, her name is lia ravencrest (oc), gojo will appear in the next part

series masterlist (to be updated soon)

"his majesty satoru gojo has pledged his support in exchange for lady Ravencrest's hand in marriage." your family turns, stunned to see you speak with a crumbled letter in the fist of your hand. "he calls for nothing in return, only wishing to unite both kingdoms under one. his family asks the Ravencrest's that lady Ravencrest live alongside her husband, as it has been for customary "

"so it's settled." your stepfather, crowned king of your wing of the kingdom announces. "you shall marry into the gojo clan."

"we must commence the wedding plans." your mother chimes, "she'll look beautiful in lunaris silk."

you watch, hurt and deflated as the two adults discuss your parents until you interrupt, "Is my presence here so insignificant that you plan my life without a word to me?”

the regret fills your body as soon as you are thrown inside your room by your stepfather. your mother's cries muffled by the large doors of your room held back by servants per order of the king. he strikes.

"you ungrateful petulant being!" the man roars, "have you forgotten? It is I who picked you out of the shit! no one wanted to marry your mother but me! and I took care of your mouth, fed you, and you dare disobey me?!" his screams leave you silent, trembling as his hands point at you. "you have truly shamed us. go ahead and say no. deny the prince! say no! go on, if you say you have no voice then use it. we'll send you off to a whorehouse. maybe that is where you belong." whenever he acts like that and leaves, the servant girls peek. they're too shy, maybe too scared to approach you, but they always leave you water and something cold to soothe the pain in your cheek.

"his majesty gojo will be fortunate to have a bride like you." says a servant girl, brushing your hair the next morning, "my lady is too kind, far too gentle."

"have you heard word of his majesty?" you ask, knowing she might not have any knowledge, but hopeful. "what is he like?"

"none from me, but one of the house ladies says she spoke to the gojo clan messenger. it is said he is fair tempered, a good head on his neck."

you hum, clearly not so pleased with limited information. was that all? fear thumped along your heart. what if he was like your stepfather? what if he was better? if he was, could he change into something worse? continue as your mother but worse?

"darina," you speak, the name of your servant girl with such softness. your memory was far better than your mother's, able to know nearly everyone's from the castle, "do you think... my stepfather... is cruel?" she exhales.

"his lordship has... firm character, yet I believe he has an interest to improve the reputation of the family."

"I didn't ask if he was cruel to the crown, rina. I asked if he was cruel to his family."

"he... he could be kinder. that I am certain. it pains me to see my lady sad."

"don't worry." you say, "I have already accepted the marriage. in 30 days I shall become bride to the next king of the north. I may be a princess, but no one shall touch me as queen."

[thetriumphantpanda]

Come Away With Me | Joel & Tommy Miller (Sunday)

Summary | The final day, but at last, not the final goodbye.

Word Count | 3K

Chapter Warnings | Familial fluff, plenty of emotions, explicit smut, breeding kink, cumplay/cum eating, unprotected PiV sex, creampie, breath play, possessive!Joel, lots of feels, but lots of happiness too.

Authors Note | Okay I know I teased DP but it ended up not fitting the vibe, please forgive me. BUT HERE WE ARE. THE LAST PROPER CHAPTER. We still have the epilogue to go, but I can't believe we're kinda wrapping up here. Thank you for all the love you give this series. I know this one is shorter, but I didn't want to drag it out, I hope you think it's a perfect as I think it is. If you enjoy this, please consider commenting, reblogging or coming into my ask box to scream with me. And, as always, If you want to support me, you can donate to my Ko-Fi.

A reminder that I no longer use taglists - to keep up with my writing, please follow@thetriumphantpandanotifs and turn on notifications to keep up to date.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Tommy is still snoring softly into your ear when you wake the next morning, but the hand that Joel had kept clutched in his own all night is empty, his side of the bed cool again like it had been a few days ago. You let yourself have a moment wrapped up with Tommy, the warmth of his body almost lulling you back to sleep until you remember your son is here and one of you needs to get up to go and see to him. 

You extricate yourself gently from Tommy, being careful not to wake him. He’s spent the last week being at the beck and call of Joshua, so you decide to let him sleep in a little this morning. You throw on some comfy clothes that have been lying around the room for most of the week before heading down to the room you’d put Joshua down in the previous evening, but the door is open, and the bed is empty. The door to Sarah’s room is also open so you make your way down into the living area, but that’s also empty. 

The door to the back porch is slightly ajar, and when you step out onto it, you can see Sarah and Joel sat on the benches near the fire pit, where you’d been a few evenings before, Joshua sat on Joel’s knee as he bounces him up and down gently. It makes you heart swell and your eyes glass over with tears as you watch Sarah break off a little bit of her toast to put in his hand. One big, happy family. 

“Good morning.” You smile when you reach them, Joshua looking up at you with his hands sticky from the jam that had been on Sarah’s toast. 

“Mama!” He outstretches his arms for you to pick him up from Joel’s knee, which you do, cradling him to your neck in your usual morning hug. 

Sarah shuffles over, making room for you to sit between the two of them, you try not to sit too close to her father, but you can still feel his warmth through your clothes, as he moves his arm to put it on the back of the bench. You wish he’d wrap it around your shoulders as you move Joshua to sit on your lap. 

“You okay this morning, baba?” You ask him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“Sarah fed me toast!” 

“You’re a lucky boy, aren’t you?” You chuckle, “She didn’t feed me any toast!” 

You’re still chuckling when Sarah’s hand comes into your periphery with her last slice of toast, holding it in front of you for you to take a bite, you let out a hearty laugh but take a bite none-the-less, because it looks like the toast Joel makes, covered in butter and slathered in fruity jam. 

“Don’t want anyone spreading rumors about me having favourites.” She laughs, taking her toast back for herself. 

Joel leans forward so he can see Sarah around your body, his hand resting on your arm so casually to keep you still while he speaks to her, “What about me?” He asks. 

“You’ve just eaten three slices,” She accuses, “You don’t need anymore.” 

“Rude.” He grumbles next to you, keeping his hand there, like he was just waiting for an excuse to touch you. 

You really want to turn around and kiss him. Tell him that it’s okay, that you’ve sorted everything with Tommy, that his faith in you worked out. You wonder if the time they spent together last night means he knows? Did Tommy say something? Does his hand on your arm, thumb rubbing soft circles on your skin means he knows he can have you whenever he wants now? Your mind is racing a mile a minute when Tommy joins you. 

He's found a tray somewhere, and it’s got four mugs of steaming coffee on it, plus a box of juice for Joshua. He hands them out, stabs the straw into the box of apple juice for Joshua before he takes his son from you, sitting him on his lap on the bench across from the three of you. 

“I miss you all.” Sarah says softly next to you. 

You turn to her, wrapping your own arm around her shoulder, because she sounds sad. You pull her closer into your side, leaning down to press a kiss to her head like you had done with Joshua. 

“Ah bug, we miss you too,” You say softly, listening as she sniffs, “But you’re doing amazing things, babygirl,” She’s only been gone a few weeks, but you think it must be hard for her, having spent her entire life around three people who would have died for her if necessary, “We’re already so proud of you, but think of what this one,” You nod your head towards Joel, digging your elbow into his side slightly, “Is going to be like when you graduate, when you find the cure for mankind,” She chuckles a bit at this, wiping her eyes, “And you can come home and see us whenever you need to, or we can jump in the car and come to you.” 

You give her one last squeeze into your side before she pulls away with a smile. You make the mental note to make more of an effort to call her and see how she’s doing each week, you’re sure there are things happening that she won’t want to tell Joel. 

Once you’ve all finished your coffee, Tommy is the one to speak, “We should probably think about making a move soon,” He nods to you, “It’s a long drive back with this one.” 

You nod, trying not to think about having to go back to real life, having to go back to work and juggle that with being a mom, but it was inevitable really. You’re always running out of time with this little bubble you’ve created. 

Packing up is easy, you hadn’t unpacked many of the clothes you’d bought, Joel had made sure to keep you naked often, and you pack up the leftover food for Sarah to take back to college with her. She’s particularly excited about having steak for dinner when you pass the pack of meat you hadn’t used last night to her. You wave her off as he drives away, holding on to Joel’s hand as he tries not to cry. It won’t ever get easier for him, watching his little girl drive away, no matter how old she’s going to get, how much she will continue to grow on her adventure, she’s always going to be the girl that begged to ride on his shoulders, begged for pretty much anything and got whatever she wanted.

Tommy heads inside, Joshua on his hip to finish packing everything up, and you press up on your tiptoes to kiss Joel’s cheek, “She’ll be fine.” You say simply with a smile, “And so will you.” 

He wants to say that he knows, but he’s not so sure. His bubble is about to burst, he’ll drive home on his own, to his empty house, and get up tomorrow morning and go about his day as he always has, but with the memory of what it’s like to have you to himself burnt onto his brain. He’s scared. Scared he won’t feel this happy again, but he doesn’t want you to know that, doesn’t want to ask you for more than he already has. So he tells you he knows, kisses your cheek right back, and resigns himself to being lonely once more. 

It takes you ages to get home. You’re tired. Joshua is fast asleep upstairs having slept most of the journey home too. Your home is familiar, warm, but you can’t help the feeling that something is missing. He’s missing. 

“What did he say?” You ask Tommy as he settles onto the couch with you, glass of whiskey in his hand to unwind before you go to bed. 

“Huh?” 

“What did Joel say when you told him I could see him more?” 

Tommy looks at you with a confused look on his face, like you’re talking to him in another language. 

“I thought you would have told him?” 

Your heart sinks. You have a lump in your throat. God fucking damn it. You put your head in your hands. You let that man leave you not realizing he wasn’t saying goodbye until it was the right time of the month again. Not realizing you kept your promise, fixed it all. Not knowing he could be happy. 

“When would I have had the time?” You ask. 

“That’s why I left you outside when Sarah left!” He exclaims in defense, “I thought you’d tell him then.” 

“I didn’t!” You cry, trying not to freak out, “Oh Tommy, he’s going to think the worst.” 

He puts his hand on your shoulder, trying to ground you, to soothe you, “Why don’t you tell him now?” He offers softly, “He’s only a few streets over.” 

“I’ve been gone so long.” You try and fight, the guilt at being away from this part of your family weighing on you. You've neglected them, you think. You should be here, with them, you think.

“Sugar, we coped a week without you,” Tommy muses, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead, “We can go one more night,” You look up at him, eyes glassy, because now you realise he truly meant it, that he honestly wants his brother to be happy, and if that means having you then so be it, “Go on,” He nods his head towards the door, “Go get your man.” 

It’s late. Joel is sitting on his couch, TV on low, bottle of beer half-finished on the side table. He should go to bed, he knows he’ll have a long day catch up with work tomorrow, but he can’t switch his brain off. He feels lonely. Sat in his house, alone, after a week of having the love of his life curled up next to him. He almost pulls out his phone, shoots a text to the girl he’s been seeing, but he doesn’t want to fuck, he wants someone to cuddle. Someone to fall asleep next to and hold as she snores into his skin, and she never stays, always catches her breath and leaves as soon as she can because that’s what they agreed. 

He's about to call it a night when his doorbell rings. He panics, mainly because he wonders if it something to do with Sarah, has she hurt herself? Was she in an accident on the way back to college? He knows it isn’t, because she messaged him a few hours ago with a photo of the steak she’d cooked, but he still panics as he walks to the door, expecting to open it and find a police officer standing there ready to tell him something awful, but when he opens the door, it’s you. His pretty girl. The woman he’s spent less than twelve hours away from and is already yearning for. 

He moves to open his mouth, ask what’s wrong, but you launch yourself at him. Jumping onto him with your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on your ass to keep you upright as you plant your lips right on his. He doesn’t argue, steps back and kicks his door shut, kissing you right back. You open your mouth against his, and he follows, letting your tongues work together as he carries you to his kitchen, setting you on his countertop. 

“What’s all this for?” He asks quietly against your lips, pressing his back to yours lightly before he lets you answer. 

“He knows,” You speak softly, gripping onto the collar of his flannel, “He’s known all along, how much you love me, how much I love you,” You kiss him again as his heart flutters in his chest, “Says you can have me whenever you want Joel, you can share me, if that’s what you want.” 

He holds your face in his palms, looking into your eyes for any sign this might be a sick joke, but he only finds them filled with love, the same way you’ve looked at him all week, “Is that what you want?” He asks, because he only wants what you want. 

“Yes,” You breathe against his mouth, “I want you, always I want you Joel,” You kiss him again, “Now please, put your fucking mouth on me and tell me you want the same.”

It’s desperate this time, when he kisses you, all teeth and tongue and moans as his hands pop open the button of your jeans. You lift your hips off the counter so he can drag them off you. You whine when he pulls his lips from yours, but he drops to his knees, pulling you as close to the edge of the counter as he can without dragging you off him. You expect him to tease you, to work you up, but what he does this time is use his thumbs to spread the folds of your pussy and sucks your clit right into his mouth. Your hands fly to his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls as he lets your clit go from between his lips, but uses the tip of his tongue to flick at that bundle of nerves. 

You keep your eyes on him as he devours your cunt, how own eyes looking right back up at you, challenging you to come, challenging you to come undone for him. Using the flat of his tongue to give wide licks to you, then swapping to those delicate kitten licks that make your hips buck into his face. He’s proving himself to you, proving to you he’s worthy of this, of having you around more than he’s used to. He will spend the rest of his life on his knees, worshipping at your altar like this if he must. 

“Fuck, Joel,” You groan as he sinks two of his fingers into your pussy, curling them upwards into that spot he knows makes you sing, “Gonna make me come.” 

“You gonna cover me, pretty girl?” He asks, pulling away from your cunt just enough to speak, “Want you to soak me.” 

It’s filth like that which always tips you over the edge, like right now, as you clench around his fingers, his tongue back on your clit as you do exactly what he wanted, those fingers coaxing you to gush around him, soak his face as he groans into your cunt, coaxing out every last drop of your orgasm before he stands, giving you barely any time to compute what’s happening, before his thick cock is sinking right into the depths of you. 

You have no idea whether you’re still coming from before, or whether this sets another one off, as he drags your mouth back to his own, your taste so prevalent on his tongue, but you’re fluttering around his cock, arching into him and crying out his name again. It’s too much, he’s too much, but you don’t want him to ever stop as his hips snap into yours and his hand settles on your throat. 

He uses that hand to push your head up, looking you straight in the eye, “Mine now, aren’t you pretty girl?” He punctuates this with a thrust into you. 

You nod as he squeezes his hand around your throat a little, nibbling at your jaw line, “Yes Joel,” You whimper, “Yours.” 

Because you are. You might be someone else’s as well, but in these four walls, when you’re on your own? You’re just as much his as anyone else’s, and that makes you melt. He’s close, you can feel it, hear it in the way he’s groaning into your skin. 

“Come on Joel,” You coax breathlessly, “Give it to me, come inside me.” 

“Fuck,” He spits out, “Gonna give you a baby, give it to you right now, mama,” You choke out a sob as he speeds up the snapping of his hips into you, “Give you the fuckin’ moon if you asked me.” You don't doubt him, you know he would, you're tempted to ask for it right now, just to see what he does, see what he gives you.

He pushes himself into you so deep you can feel him in your stomach as he comes, biting down on your shoulder, hands gripping your hips as you feel the ropes of his cum fill you up, praying that this, or any of the times before during the week, have planted his baby right inside you. You want to swell with him again, to make something beautiful with him again, and to be able to properly share the joy with him this time. 

He slips out of you, but as is the norm for Joel now, he sinks his fingers into you, stuffing you full of him, giving you as much of him as he possibly can, leaning over to kiss you as he does. He lets you suck his fingers clean, kisses you again, totally unbothered that he can taste himself on your mouth. He pulls away, resting his forehead on yours. 

“You gotta go?” He asks softly. 

“I’m yours,” You smile, leaning up to peck his lips, “I can stay as long as you want.” 

So you do. You stay all night. Curled up in his bed with him. He wakes you up once in the night, slowly easing himself inside your cunt from behind, body clutched to him, rocking his hips into you so so slowly, coaxing your orgasm out from you like he has all the time in the world, because he does now. He doesn’t need to rush with you anymore, your time won’t run out anymore, because you’re his just as much as you're Tommy's. 

As he clutches you to his chest, his heart full of so much love, with finally somewhere to put it, he thanks the Lord, he thanks you, but most of all he thanks his brother, for loving him this much, for loving him enough to give him his own slice of happiness. Because for the first time in a long time, he truly is happy, whole again, because of his brother, because of you. Because of his pretty girl.  

[lazycats-stuff]

I think I'd like to see jon kent being a great older brother to superbaby like he hears any sounds from the nursery indicating his brother might be awake he is SPRINTING to that nursery, first thing he does when he's back from school is greet his brother and tell him about his day, he wants to be the one that feeds/bathe him/and take him to the park, i imagin jon will be one of those siblings who have a breakdown when their baby sibling stands up on their on for the first time because they realize that baby is growing up!

Oh my God, he totally is that type! He would be happier than Clark and Lois combined. I'm kind of laughing at the situations.

When Lois got pregnant again, it was by pure accident. Clark and Lois didn't think about the second kid, but they didn't mind having a second kid around the house. The only worry they had was concerning their first son, Jonathan.

When they told Jonathan he cried. They were thinking that they were upset, but then he nearly flew through the roof from happiness. He hugged both of his parents tightly, although he was more careful with his mom.

During all those 9 months, Jon was the big help around the house. You are thirsty mom? You are getting a pitcher of water. Oh there is some dust that needs to be wiped? Done. You need ice cream from downstairs? You got it.

And once (Y/N) was born, Jon was too impatient to hold his baby brother. Clark had to remind him to be calm and gentle. Once they entered the room where Lois was resting, Jon nearly ran to her. Clark chided him a little bit, but it was cute.

Lois showed him his baby brother and Jon took his little brother in his arms. Clark showed him how to hold the baby, making sure that his head is supported. Jon watched in wonder and amazement, as (Y/N) moved his little arms slowly. His eyes opened for a moment before closing again.

Jon was officially in love. Clark and Lois could see it from a mile away. They smiled at their two sons and all of their worries were now gone.

Jon also turned out to be a third parent to (Y/N). He carried him a lot, played with him a lot in the living room and insisted to feed him and bathe him. Clark didn't know that Jon would be so attached to his son.

But it was nice to see it.

Right now, Jon was feeding his younger brother, pretending that the food was the airplane and (Y/N) was laughing like a mad man. He was squealing and kicking his legs. Clark was washing some dishes in the background.

You never know how many cute sounds a baby can make until it's fed. If you forget the crying. But none the less, they are adorable. Until they reach their teen years. Then it was going to be a very bumpy ride.

But for now, Clark is going to enjoy this era for as long as he can.

" Say awww (Y/N). " Jon cooed at his little brother, putting a spoon closer to his mouth. (Y/N) opened his mouth, taking the food into his mouth.

Clark turned around, watching as Jon wiped (Y/N)'s face from the excess food. Jon was praising the baby for eating all of it and tried to pick him up. Clark still helped him because Jon was still learning how to hold him.

10 months went by and Jon was officially a third parent. (Y/N) has started crawling a month ago and everyone was officially waiting for (Y/N) to start walking. Jon more so than his parents.

Jon was holding (Y/N) in his lap, talking to him about the his school day. Clark was sitting on the sofa next to the couch, reading the newspaper. (Y/N) started squirming in Jon's lap and he wanted to get off.

Jon put him down and he started to crawl. Then, all of a sudden he stopped and he tried to get up.

Jon watched in fascination. Clark put the newspapers away.

(Y/N) stood up on his little legs and slowly started walking towards Clark. He immediately got down on his knees and opened his arms.

" Come on, you got this! Come on bud. " Clark praised, cooing and smiling widely as (Y/N) was slowly walking towards him. Once (Y/N) got close, Clark picked him up, giving him kisses.

Jon cried as Clark scooped (Y/N) up. His baby brother is growing up so quickly...

" Come here Jon. Why are you crying? " Clark asked as he hugged Jon too.

" He is growing up too fast. " Jon sobbed out, hugging his father back.

Clark could barely contain his smile and laughter. He comforted Jon, telling him that it was a natural thing.

[latteart98]

IF YOU LOVED THIS, THEN YOU SHOULD WATCH THAT.

Fans of Hidden Love, why y’all sleeping on Amidst a Snowstorm of Love?!!

It has:

Greenest flag relationship

Solid communication (none of that misunderstanding BS)

No love triangle

Older male/younger female (she was 21, he was 27 when they met)

He falls first (love at first sight. Not my favorite trope normally but this was done right *chef’s kiss*)

Supportive af family and friends

Bromance

Kindest and gentle male lead

Cutie pie innocent female lead

LOTS AND LOTS of kisses and skinship (they start dating very early into the drama so we get kisses and hugs literally 70% of the drama in every episode!)

Male leads works hard into success, it’s not handed to him

Both leads are good at their own things

Sports romance (trust me, I hate all sports without any bias and snooker is worst of all but this drama was exception)

No manipulative bitches, no melodramatic scenes, no unnecessary drama and tension

Just lots and lots of kisses, fluff and good things

Male lead’s love language is make sure the female lead is well fed and taken care of 🥵✨

“Sister in law”/ “Brother in law” teases from friends and family

If I think more, I’ll add later but seriously if you loved Hidden Love like how I did, go watch this!!

[rivkadreamer]

Push and Pull.

a/n: I actually have no idea what is this, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a short drabble since I've been wanting to post something to Tumblr for quite some time and then...I got carried away, ahaha. Also I'm posting this through my phone, so if the formating is weird...ops.

Warnings: None, this is not proof read.

Genre: Hurt/comfort (?), light angst, fluffy at the end.

Summary: Scaramouche isn't the best with words, but for you, he's willing to tone down a little.

Alternatively: where his darling is fed up with his bad attitude and give him a scare to make him man up lmao.

Words count: 1.18k

Imagine Scaramouche with a significant other who does exactly just what he asks for.

He tells you to leave? Sure, right off the door.

He tells you to not talk to him anymore? Okay, you stay silent like a mute person until he cracks and asks you a question.

He tells your presence is annoying? Watch him crawl back after weeks you went aloof, ignoring his presence in your life. Begrudgingly, he will start to tell you that he had some matters to attend in the specific area he found you, acting like it was a big coincidence you two end up meeting.

It's not as if you don't know that most of the stuff he tells you, he doesn't mean it, not really. You do know it, but that's the thing.

You are a human being, someone who has it's own thoughts, opinions and feelings. And since the beginning of this relationship, Scaramouche made a point quite a few times to ignore it, not trying to apologize or understand that even if you know he doesn't mean it, his actions still might hurt.

How did you two even got in a relationship, in the first place? You, yourself don't know. Sometimes it feels like he sees you more as a subordinate than a lover.

That's when you started taking the approach to stop reading between the fine lines of his words, trying to save some face and dignity he stole from you by crossing and neglecting the boundaries of your good will again and again, discarding your words when you tried to talk to him about it.

Honestly, he's similar to kid throwing a tantrum sometimes. Except he just narrow his eyes at you or gives you a hard glare when you fail to meet his needs. Scoffing when you not bother to try to understand the hidden meaning behind his harsh words, everytime he throws them rudely at your face.

The day he finally got your message through that stubborn head of his, was the day he blew up at your face and took his rage out on you after a particular stress inducing week.

Screaming at you how useless you are, how he didn't need you by his side and how you were a nuisance for foolish thinking he needed some kind of comfort. He told you such humans silly rituals and interactions where bellow him, to just stop nagging him and finding something better to do if this was what you interrupted his work for.

You tried to reason with him, saying that being here for him was just what you were for, what lovers do, they support each other. You just wanted to help him.

Then, he told you that you could help him by getting out of his life, since all you did was get in his way, distracting him from his goals by forcing your unwanted affection down his throat. His words cut deep and managed to finally shut you up, much for his relief.

You noticed that and frowned. You knew he didn't mean it, you knew that. But there's a limit to everything and you have reached yours. Getting the memo that he wants to be alone, you quietly left his office and made your way to his Fatui headquarters, determined to once more do just what he asked of you.

Scaramouche's blood run cold when he saw the empty room, devoid of any of your belongings or clothes. Many scenarios took a turn to settle upon his head, making his thoughts scatter all over the place as the initial shock wear down. The likely scenarios of you being kidnapped or leaving and abandoning him as many others did in the past, always betraying on the bitter end of everything, left him reeling and fuming on the very same spot he lost you.

He frantically searched for you all over the place, sending his Fatui underlings to look through every leaf and hole around the area, not leaving a single rock unturned.

When he finally found you, he was seething with fury, eyes practically bulging out of his face as he angrily demanded to know with a dark voice just what were you thinking and how dare you abandon him just like her did.

Scaramouche righteous anger quickly died down, however, when you threw at his face the same words he spoke earlier on his spur of the moment outburst, reciting letter for letter the painful words he spat like venom at you, wounding your heart in the process. That's when he noticed the hurt flashing through your eyes, a hurt dangerously alike to his.

His face fell.

He was quiet for a moment. Digesting your words wasn't easy. Scaramouche was never good with feelings and he always runs away from whatever situations that require him to face with the complex bundle of emotions that swirls just inside him. They're the moments he's forced to face the fact that he feels just as much as any human he so readily declares bellow him, feels.

And he hates himself for it. It reminds him too much of the time he was but a wandering vagrant of Tatarasuna, eyes sparkling full of wonder and curiosity. In all his glorified naivety, hopeful and yearning for the love of a family he could never attain.

But he hates your absence even more. It exudes such a gruesome, hollow emotion, it brings a hateful sting behind his eyes. Bringing himself to sit down by your side, and for the first time in all of the duration of your relationship, admitting that he was the one in the wrong. He apologizes and begs for you not to go, to not leave him alone.

He truly doesn't know if he can outgrow the pain of being without you, and surprises himself with how earnest he is being, realizing in the process he's much more attached to you than he initially thought.

His own metaphorical heart quivers with the notion, drumming forcefully and shaking the electric cords of his handmade body to it's core. It scares him, the vulnerability of it all, right now feels the same as being completely naked before your eyes. But the fact that you were about to slip away from his reach was terrifying, so he presses on...

After this incident, his behavior do not do an whole 180° turn, but he mellows out quite a bit.

He listens now. He stops with the unnecessary rude comments and have actual talks between the two of you, paying attention to your body reactions to assure himself he hasn't spout anything harmful.

The most noticable change is how he looks more for you and, how he doesn't push you away anymore, when you come to see him. He doesn't outrightly say he enjoys your presence, but he doesn't put a tough facade just to drive you away and prove his point about being "superior", either. He's still serious, but gentler. A soft expression on his face that is reserved for you and these quiet moments with you, and you only.

Talking and communication are still a sore spot for him, being truthful and honest about his emotions not coming as naturally to him as it comes to you.

But he's trying, and for the time being, that's enough for you.

"Where are you going? No, you can stay. You aren't distracting me, how arrogant of you to think so. Contrary to the bumbling fools I hesitate to call co-workers, your presence is much more calming. I feel reassured when you are by my side, so stay."

There's a quiet murmur at the end.

"Please, darling." ~♡

End note: My first fic ever posted on Tumblr 🎉 (PS: I have no idea how Tumblr works LMAO)

[@rivkadreamer on Tumblr, please do not steal my works.]

[littlemissstel]

Random Headcannons - Shiu Kong

Mostly established relationship, mentions of children, somewhat proofread

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws

Because Shiu is constantly in the car, he absolutely refuses to put the radio on. He'd only hear the same songs on repeat anyway and he'd rather not feel like he's being held hostage in his own car.

"I was being force fed the same copy and paste break up songs, Doll. My own breathing pattern has more diversity than that."

Once, on a particularly plain day, he decided to enter one of those radio challenges were you can win 20 thousand pounds if you text the studio's number after a specific song plays. He quit an hour later and never looked back.

When you and Shiu become close he lets you handle the aux.

He is the master at ignoring people. More often than not, it is on purpose. The other times he is just too stuck in his own head to be concerned about the outside world.

He is not good at ignoring sounds though, so when your child has the same video on repeat, laughing harder every time they watch it, he dies a little inside.

If the two of you have children, planned or not, he quits smoking completely. He'd also do this if you had a medical condition like asthma and get irritated from the smoke.

He'd joke that he gave his children weak lungs whenever they let out even the smallest of coughs, then proceed to deny ever touching a cigarette when asked about it later.

"I'm an angel, kid. Never touched anything and neither should you."

Is a very clean man. Does not entertain the whole "two-in-one" nonsense. Has a set collection of products he uses and gosh, does he smell heavenly. Changes and washes his sheets every Saturday. When you moved in together, he bought only silk bedding and pillow cases because he found out it was good for your hair.

Gets pissy whenever a client leaves wrappers or any other junk in his car.

Tweaks out over loud chewing noises but he can be quite passive and will stare at them with the appropriate amount of judgement or disgust.

If you didn't work together, he wouldn't tell anyone about his romantic life outside of work. A private man. He debated on whether or not he should wear his ring into work following your engagement. He didn't think it would cause any safety concerns, his main problem was dealing with questions... specifically-

"What's this? A ring. Didn't know you had a chick by your side Shiu."

His long-term co-worker, also known as Toji, quirks up with a most sickening smirk - rivaling the Cheshire cat.

"None of your business Fushiguro, now pay attention. I need you to have tra-"

"I can't pay attention with that thing blinding my eyes, oh, it hurts to look at-"

A pause.

"It's a band."

"Yeah, an expensive one."

Shiu sighs, already exasperated as he tries once more with the black haired man.

"I need you to track down the girl by Friday otherwise we will have compromised the deal with our client. And i know you want to get paid."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it. You've got bigger things to worry about now."

Thank you guys for the love and support you've given, it means so much!! Sending my love xx

What are your headcannons?

Please feel free to leave any ideas/recomendations!

[albertasunrise]

Hope - Getting Your Hopes Up

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (So first chapter's a little short but I promise its building... Gonna be away for a few days one a work trip but will try get some more updates out in a few days)

Series Masterlist - Part 1

Joel had instantly sensed that something had changed between you both after the visit to Tommy’s and not for the better. You were more guarded around him. Kept a sort of, metaphorical and sometimes physical, distance from him at all times and he just couldn’t understand what had changed. He had thought the visit had gone well. You and Tommy had hit it off and his brother hadn’t stopped thanking you for the help you were so generously bestowing on him and his daughter.

Maybe that was it.

You were fed up with the sleepless nights and taking care of not only Sarah but him also. When you said you were going to move in and help, he hadn’t thought to ask how long you planned to do that. It had been a few months now. Perhaps you were at the end of your tether and he couldn’t expect you to do this forever.

You on the other hand were wracked with guilt. The feelings you had developed for Joel and the statement he’d made at Tommy’s had led you to avoid any sort of close contact with him. You thought by distancing yourself from him that it would get easier to cope with them but you were wrong. It just confused you further. His sad eyes would follow you as you flitted around the house cleaning or cooking or tending to Sarah. You knew you weren't dealing with this in the right way but there wasn't an instruction manual on this.

'Idiots guide to dealing with your crush on your dead best friend's husband.'

Yeah, there wasn't anything out there to help you navigate these feelings you felt. Then, on a rare and much-needed night out 3 months later with the girls, your friend Linda suggested you try something new.

"Speed dating?" You snorted as you sipped your Mojito.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it." Linda defended, pointing her forefinger at you as she smirked at your reaction "My sister met her fiancé doing it and they're an amazing couple."

"I'm not exactly looking for a husband right now." You chuckled, glancing at Hanna that was watching this interaction with amusement.

"Well, my tall dark and handsome over there would probably happily help you with your dry spell." She chuckled, motioning at the man who had, unbeknown to you, been glancing at you all evening "He's not been able to take his eyes off of you."

"I don't know." You grumbled, smiling at him sweetly before looking back at your friends "I don't know if I-"

"He's coming over." Linda grinned as she playfully elbowed you.

"I think it's time for another round." Piped up Hanna, winking at you "Linda, could you help."

"No… No, no Pleas-" You didn't get to finish your sentence before they were up and leaving you to fend for yourself.

Mr tall dark and handsome seemed to falter a moment before schooling his features and heading over to your table.

"Hi." He said softly, giving you a sweet smile and you felt yourself relax a little as you replied with a quiet "Hey." Back.

"Your friends are about as subtle as a dump truck." He joked and you snorted.

"Understatement."

"I'm Alec." He said, holding his hand out to shake which you accepted as you gave him your name in return.

"I uh… I gotta confess something." He said, scratching the back of his neck bashfully and you felt your pulse quicken "I uh, I'm not very good at this. I just got divorced and my buddy over there dragged me out to find someone to wet my wick."

"Think my friends were trying to achieve something similar." You chuckled "Been going through a bit of a dry spell." You confessed, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I pretty much noticed you the moment you walked in with your friends and I… Well, I decided that if there was anyone I wanted to try this whole 'dating' thing with again, it was you."

"I could be a psycho for all you know." You scoffed "How could you possibly know that I was the girl you wanted?"

"Because you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He stated plainly, ripping the air from your lungs "You have honest eyes."

"Honest eyes?" You chuckled and he nodded.

"You can tell a lot about a person from their eyes."

You smiled at his statement. Finding yourself taken by his dark hair and piercing blue eyes. You continued to talk, even when your friends returned with the round of drinks they had promised. They eventually left, demanding you call them with the details to which you rolled your eyes before hugging them goodbye. You stayed at the bar a little while longer. Getting to know Alec intimately. What he liked to read, cook, and do on the weekends. You learned that he had a two-year-old that he had sole custody of. The mother not wanting to be tied down by family. He lit up when you asked if he had a picture and he was quick to pull out a Polaroid that he kept in his wallet.

"My uh… My parents have Noah for the night." He said, smiling nervously at you as he took his shot "Did you uh… do you fancy coming back to my place?"

"Definitely!"

Joel was sitting staring at his mug of coffee when you made your entrance that following morning. He looked up at you briefly before returning to staring at the mug in his hands, watching the steam rise from the drink and fade into nothingness.

"Good night?" He asked, desperately trying to keep his voice steady.

"Great night." You replied, pulling a mug from the cupboard and pouring yourself some coffee from the machine "Really needed it."

"Good." He replied plainly "Glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I did." You continued, completely unaware of the tone Joel was setting "I didn't realise how badly I needed to let my hair down. The last few months haven't allowed for much fun." You chuckled and Joel scoffed.

"Sorry, we're such bores." He grumbled, taking a large swig of his coffee and your brows drew together as you turned to face him.

"You know I didn't mean it that way." You argued, feeling your heart tug a little at the thought he would think you didn't enjoy his company.

"You didn't come home last night." He stated and you felt even more confused by his attitude.

"I uh… I met someone last night and we hooked up." You replied casually, shrugging your shoulders as you blew on the coffee in your grasp.

Joel felt jealousy lick at his soul but he knew he had no right to feel that way. You were only there to help him with Sarah. He had said it himself. You and he were just friends. Nothing more.

"Right, well, would have appreciated a heads up that you weren't coming back." He grumbled, downing the last of his coffee before standing to grab himself a refill "I was worried."

You opened your mouth to argue but stopped in your tracks. You were living under his roof and you should have probably given him a heads up.

"I know sorry." You sighed "Didn't mean to worry ya." You continued as you scraped a hand over your mouth "I wasn't really thinking about you at the time."

"Figures." He snarled and you felt your fuse burn out.

"You know, I think perhaps I should move back home now." You piped up and Joel's eyes widened as he turned on his heel to look at you "Sarah's nearly 5 months old now. You don't need my help anymore."

"I-"

"I'll still be around if you need help but I think it's best if I just go home. I'm only getting in the way now."

"You're not…" Joel trailed off as he tried to find the words to say to stop you from doing this.

From leaving him.

"Sarah's so used to you being around. What if she doesn't like just me being there."

"She'll forget about me in no time." You said softly, starting to feel guilty about the decision you were making "It'll be fine Joel." You assured him "You're a great father!… You don't need me."

You moved out that night. It didn't take you long to pack the clothes you'd brought with you, packing them into your car before saying your goodbyes to Joel and Sarah and driving home. Tears flowed freely down your cheeks as you watched them disappear in the rearview mirror. You hated to leave them but you knew that if you wanted to remain friends, you had to leave. It was the right thing to do.

In the two months that followed, your and Joel's relationship started to mend. You were able to laugh together again. You continued to take care of Sarah on the days he wasn't able to but your evenings were taken up by your new relationship with Alec and his adorable son. The relationship flourished with each date and kiss you shared.

Joel watched from the sidelines as you fell hard and fast for this man. The green monster he had tried to tamp down was trying to crawl its way out every time he was near the two of you. Weekends with you, Alec and Noah had become a common occurrence. Noah seemed to enjoy showing Sarah how to play and she seemed to be just as taken by him.

"Maybe there are wedding bells in their future." Alec joked one Saturday as he watched Noah lay on his tummy on Sarah's play mat beside her. playing with her assortment of toys as she watched him with a wide grin on her face.

"They are super cute together." You piped up, chuckling as Alec wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close so he could kiss you sweetly.

"Not as cute as you too." Chuckled Tommy from his seat beside his brother "It's actually a little sickening." He said as he mimed himself vomiting and you rolled your eyes at him and flipped him off.

"You're just jealous." You teased the younger Miller as you returned to arranging the sides and cutlery on the table.

"Not much time for relationships right now." He replied with a shrug as he took a swig of his beer "What about you brother?"

"Hmm?" Joel hummed as he looked at his brother "What about me?"

"You been on any dates?"

"I'm a widow with a baby." Joel scoffed "Not much time to date between naps, changed diapers and bottle feeds."

"You know we would happily have her for an evening if wanted a night off!" You piped up, looking up at Alec who smiled and nodded at you in agreement.

"I hear there's a speed dating event going on this weekend and the Rising Sun." Alec announced as he scooped up the burgers and placed them on a bun "Didn't a friend of yours meet her fiancé at one?"

"Friend's sister but yes." You replied, "They're like the perfect couple I swear!"

"I'm not looking to date right now." Joel growled, wishing desperately for this conversation to end.

"Oh come on brother, you can't remain alone forever."

"My wife, Sarah's mum, has been dead less than a year." He snapped and rendered you all silent "I lost…" He tried off as his eyes zoned in on you, noting Alec's hand on your hip and how you leaned into him as he planned a tender kiss on your temple.

"Sorry, Joel." Piped up Tommy, pulling his attention away from you and to his brother beside him "We didn't mean-"

"I know." Joel stopped Tommy in his tracks, giving him a reassuring look as the necks of their beers clinked together "I'm just not sure I'm ready for anything new right now."

"You know where we are when you are." Alec piped up "We're here for you."

"Always." You said, giving Joel a nod before looking up at Alec adoringly.

Joel said nothing more. He watched as you and Alec shared what could only be described as a loving kiss and Joel could do nothing but watch. Muttering what he was about to say under his breath as he sipped his beer.

"I lost my chance with her." His eyes didn't leave you as you giggled at Alec cheekily grabbing your ass as you started to carry the burgers over to the table "I blew my chance at loving her."

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[limabean42]

Could you maybe do a fear x an impulse emotion but they’re like best friends?

࿏ Fear with an impulsive! best friend ࿏

Thanks for requesting :) Reader is implied to be one of the new emotions

-

• Fear is the embodiment of well, fear

• You are the embodiment of impulse, Impulsive

• When you first appeared with the new emotions Fear let out a big sigh and just shook his head

• He knew that you would clash

• He was trying to keep Riley safe and you were preventing him from doing that with your actions

• He viewed you as an obstacle to get over, whenever he was needed at the panel it seemed you always swooped in and said, “Nope, we’re doing this.”

• Your justification was that it was fun and that Riley needed to experience different things no matter if she gets a little hurt in the process

• Most of the other emotions either agreed or were indifferent to your ways

• Joy and Anger supported your impulsive nature the most. Joy was all about having as much fun as possible and Anger wanted to yell at people

• Fear was shocked that you would be okay with her getting hurt in any capacity, even if it was just a scratch on the knee

• It only seemed to get worse for Fear as Riley got older

• The more she grew up, the more impulsive she felt

• He was going crazy

• One time Riley got mad at her parents and wanted to cut her hair. She’d been wanting a haircut but knowing that it would make her parents mad if she did it herself fueled her reason to cut it impulsively

• She stood looking in the bathroom mirror with scissors in hand, you controlling the panel

• “Here we go, are you ready everyone?” You shouted excitedly

• “No, stop!” Fear screamed

• “Nope, no one? Alrighty then!” You said grabbing ahold of the panels lever and slamming it upward

• Fear stopped in his tracks and just watched you. He looked up to see the hair falling in the sink below

• At this point he felt helpless. He didn’t see a point in caring anymore

• Fear walked out of the room, defeated

• After Riley’s botched haircut was complete the other emotions held a lackluster expression on their faces

• “Yeah, I don’t know why I thought that would turn out better.” Joy said with her hand on her chin

• “It’s awful! That’s what we get for trusting this one.” Disgust said sarcastically, eyeing you

• “I think it’s fine.” Anger shrugged

• “Well guys, sorry I’m not a professional it just felt right in the moment and hey, Riley feels more calm now, so my job here is done.” You walked toward Ennui’s couch then stopped mid-step

• Where was Fear?

• You looked all around the room and didn’t see the purple nerve

• A part of you felt guilty for ignoring him when he was trying to prevent a mistake

• Even though you didn’t see it as a mistake. It was necessary, Riley was mad so instead of yelling at her parents she cut her hair, seemed reasonable

• However, you hurt your colleague’s feelings so you decided to find him and apologize

• You found him sitting on his bed

• “Hey Fear.” you gently said while sitting next to him

• “What do you want Impulsive?” He scoffed looking down

• “I wanted to say sorry. I didn’t know you’d get so hurt from me ignoring you, I mean I do that all the time-”

• Fear cut you off, “Exactly, that’s the problem. You ignore me all the time. I don’t feel important when you’re in control of the panel. Riley needs to be safe and she can’t be safe physically, socially, or mentally when you’re in control and do bad things. Worst part is, it’s only getting worse.”

• He sounded fed up and deflated

• “I understand where you’re coming from Fear, but Riley needs to take risks sometimes. You make it sound like I’m always in control, I’m not. Joy’s the one who leads, you know that. Plus Riley’s getting older so of course she’s going to take more risks.” You retorted

• “Well, tell me how we can coexist? How can we both do our jobs when we don’t agree on what choices to make? None of the other emotions conflict as much as we do.”

• Your face grew more serious as you noticed how much he’d been dealing with these thoughts silently this whole time, “Listen, we’re all important for Riley in some way. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be here. Sometimes I need to be in control of the panel and sometimes you do. We’re both equals here. I won’t ignore you anymore, when I’m about to control I’ll see what you have to say first. You can give me input and I’ll listen now. Same way everyone else gives input when someone controls.”

• Fear finally looked up from his fidgeting hands, “Thank you.” He smiled

• You patted his shoulder and jumped up from the bed, “Back to it then, comrade?”

• Fear got up with you and you both chatted while returning back to the others

• After your problems were resolved you and Fear grew surprisingly close

• Not in a million years would you have thought one day you’d consider Fear your best friend

• He could say the same for you

• Once you started considering him more he started chatting you up randomly throughout the day

• It started out as just awkward small talk but then it escalated

• You two would find yourselves sitting down having a cup of your favorite beverages talking about anything and everything

• You both had some nerdy interests in common

• “Oooh look at that comic! We need it!” Envy declared, eyes glued on the comic

• “Let’s steal it!” You blurted out, caught up in your head

• “Let’s buy it!” Fear shouted after you slightly pulling your hand away from the panel

• “Oh yeah,” you chuckled “that’s probably a better idea”

• While you always disagree with each other you rarely argue about it

•Each of you recognize the importance of the other

• Fear was here to keep Riley safe. You were here to help Riley let off steam and not always in a bad way, you realized

• With Fear’s help you began channeling your impulses into more positive things

• When Riley was feeling impulsive it didn’t always mean she wanted to punch a hole in the wall. It also meant she felt more creative. During these times she would draw, write, or practice hockey

• With your help, Fear learned how to stay calm and not pass out as much during scary situations

• You helped him “lock in” and get Riley out of any dangerous position while hyping him up

• The other emotions were surprised at how close you were after everything. You were total opposites yet now you worked so well together

• You guys were always talking, sometimes distracting the other emotions from the panel

• “Can you guys shut up for a second we’re taking a test!” Disgust whisper-yelled

• “Oh sorry!” you both whispered in unison

• You played board games together and often stayed up late when games ran long, determined to see who would win

• On movie nights you’d sit beside each other

• Fear would hold onto your arm if it was a horror movie and constantly get jumpscared

• Overall, you got close really fast after your disagreement and became inseparable

• You both regret not handling your issues sooner so that you could have had more quality time as best friends instead of adversaries

-

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed

[biscuit-babbles]

HSR Men Omegaverse (A/B/O) Dynamics

This is entirely self-serving, but let's be honest, the HSR community is kinda starving for a/b/o content. So! I'm here to make sure y'all are fed. ♡ And if you're at all upset with the dynamics I give them, fear not! I may or may not write content in the future that will dabble in giving them other dynamics.

Rating: SFW Warnings: None Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Gepard, Sampo, Luka, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Blade, Argenti + Dr Ratio Summary: What the dynamics of all the HSR men would be, and how it plays into their personalities and environments.

At first, no one was really sure what CAELUS was, to be honest. The only person who really seemed interested in guessing or betting anything was March, who excitedly hoped he was another omega she could drag into her nest and gossip with. However, it wasn't long after finally settling on the express that his dynamic was revealed; Caelus is a BETA. This doesn't really affect him at all, aside from general uneducated in matters pertaining to alphas and omegas. Though, it has been theorized that this is a best-case scenario regarding the stellaron inside Caelus's body. If he was an alpha or omega, a rut or heat cycle might negatively affect the stellaron, and vice versa.

DAN HENG neither openly talks about nor hides the fact that he is an ALPHA. He's fairly quiet and keeps to himself most of the time, so it took everyone on the Nameless some time to find out initially. In previous incarnations, his alpha status helped in the efficiency and social standing of the High Elder, but that proves meaningless to Dan Heng now. All it means to him in the present is that March will steal his clothes and he has an excuse to be left alone for a whole week once every few months.

When first meeting WELT, it's almost suffocatingly obvious that's an ALPHA, from his tall stature, deep voice, and a tangible instinct to protect the rest of the Nameless. Though, once he softens up and reveals himself to be a more gentle, wise, and excitable man, he never loses that air of authority to him. Not in a governing sense, but in the same way as a calming father-figure. Welt will protect those close to him with his life, not willing to let them suffer the same as so many others. He's very comfortable in his status as well, not being afraid to indulge in things more traditionally labeled as for omegas.

The Landau family is an old, prestigious lineage, one that carries with it a lot of tradition - one that GEPARD's father tried to uphold. Despite being a BETA, Gepard has been raised and trained with a traditionally alpha mentality. His job is to protect, serve, and provide for Belebog and the Landau family. Though, he maintained his gentler demeanor in large part due to the continued presence and support of Serval and Lynx. Sometimes he feels an added sense of stress that he isn't an alpha, like his father had hoped for, but he is reminded with every passing day that his dynamic doesn't factor into his value as a Silvermane Guard, or as a Landau.

Acting as prime suspect witness to those reminders is SAMPO. Everyone in Belebog, including Gepard, assumes the slippery con man is an alpha - after all, that's how he has meticulously portrayed himself. A two-faced alpha whose only interest is in lining his own pockets. But underneath all the fake smiles, disguises, and scams is a proud BETA of the Masked Fools. If anything, this dynamic suits Sampo perfectly, as he can feasibly tailor any kind of dynamic he wants for his new persona. Need a beautiful, unassuming omegan woman? Now you have Madam Brughel Poisson. Besides, dealing with a rut or heat cycle wouldn't exactly be all that fun, would it?

Now, Belebog isn't home to just betas. Somewhere in the depths of the Underworld, LUKA is either engaged in a brawl with a formidable foe or keeping a protective watch over the kids. Dynamics aren't very important in the everyday lives of the people in the Underground, but the second he steps into a room, it's immediately obvious that he is an ALPHA. This is made even more clear in his close relationships with other alphas; his playful rivalry with Seele, his brotherly role to Hook, and his training with Oleg.

Acting as the General of the Xianzhou Loufu, carrying the lofty title of Divine Foresight, JING YUAN is the definition of an ALPHA. Every few decades, there's a few scandalous headlines that propose the rumor that he's secretly an omega due to his nonchalant demeanor and close mentorship of Yanqing, but they're quickly disproven every time. While yes, a lofty role doesn't equate to being an alpha, but it's hard to dispute his overwhelming presence. All of the staff in the Seat of Divine Foresight are witnesses to his stubbornness, his cunning, and the crackling tension that arises with the General's anger, no matter how he tries to contrast it with his easy-going attitude.

It never crosses anyone's mind to question what LUOCHA is, exactly. Not everyone's dynamic is immediately obvious, and he's a traveling merchant after all, he might come from a culture with different ideas of how to appear as one dynamic over another. Just another face and scent in a sea of faces and scents. There are very few who know that he's an OMEGA, and even those that do, they don't really care to act on that fact. Don't let his dynamic fool you - it requires a lot of audacity and righteous passion to drive one to want to kill an Aeon.

As a weapon, there is no need for such labels. None of these words mean much to BLADE anymore, even if they still continue to affect him. He never acknowledges the fact that he's an ALPHA, not finding that it swings his sword any faster or brings death any quicker. Though, he can't dispute the way his dynamic serves against his best interests, as any stimuli that emboldens that part of him typically retaliates in the form of the mara. Whenever he's able to indulge in the occasional guilty pleasure, however, he finds himself to be surprisingly tender. Kafka once caught him hoarding a few of the weighted stuffed animals she and Silver Wolf got to soothe his chronic pain, scenting them and trilling at them. Thank the Aeons it was only Kafka who found him, or else Silver Wolf would have been teasing him about it for weeks.

ARGENTI will never be one to hide any part of his identity, proclaiming loudly and proudly that he is an ALPHA serving the Aeon of Beauty, Idrila. At first, he may be met with some speculation as to whether he's telling the truth. It's not every day that you meet an alpha that smells so flowery and disarming, much similarly to an omega. Not to mention that he's just as tender, just as wholeheartedly loving as all those lovesick omegas on tv. But similarly to Jing Yuan, he has a certain presence to him that certainly proves his claim.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, regarded as arrogant, brilliant, and an all-around pain in the ass, is DR RATIO. While he will firmly assert that his dynamic has no bearing on his personality nor capabilities, he is very knowledgeable on how being an ALPHA affects his every day life. Dr Ratio takes great care in assuring that not even idiots can misconstrue his intentions, putting on scent patches and never baring his teeth. However, this has led a few to question whether he really is an alpha, pointing out that his grandiose personality may point to him trying to compensate. In one way or another, they are swiftly proven wrong, even if Dr Ratio doesn't see their 'close-minded ignorance' as worth his time nor an explanation.

[gayhoediaz]

Tell me more about your hc of tommy being in fostercare ♥️

okay, so!!

in my head i think his parents died when he was a baby, and he moved in with elderly relatives but i think that they were just too old and unable to care for him, so he got put into foster care (probably when he was still a toddler) and i don’t think he has a lot of memories of what came before, he’s never really known what it means to have a real family so i think that’s always something he’s searching for, whether it’s conscious or subconscious, i think he’s just always looking for a place to belong.

i don’t think he was ever a “bad kid” but i think he was maybe easy to steer and easy to control - partly because he did really want to feel as if he belonged, he always wanted friends, so i think ages 8-12ish he was probably just really nice and really quiet and i think maybe worse kids took advantage of that, and got him into trouble.

around his mid-teen years, i think that’s when maybe he started looking at boys a little bit differently, and i think he was also moving around a lot at the time - several homes within a year, none of them likely all that great (i don’t personally headcanon any horrific abuse, but certainly no support system or anyone who truly cared about him or loved him, or took care of him beyond just making sure that he was fed. so i think all of this just kind of mixed with teenage hormones and i think he just became very angry - maybe he became one of the bullies, but i more-so lean towards him becoming a bit of a loner, maybe committing petty crimes as a way to rebel or feel bigger, to feel powerful, to feel as if he had some kind of control over his life because i think ultimately he just felt so incredibly hopeless.

and then i think like i have discussed before, he went into the army to a) find some way to make it out of the situation, and b) to find some kind of place to belong, some kind of family, some camaraderie.

i think he’s doing okay now but i still think that feeling of loneliness, and of desperately searching for a family hasn’t quite left him yet, and maybe it never truly will.

the reason he watches love actually is because there is so much love and so many different kinds of love so many different forms of family in that movie it just makes him feel warm inside and maybe a little less lonely.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

I know you've already done Nick and DiMA, but I'd love to see some fatherly Hancock headcanons if you're up to it. If not, no worries! Thanks for keeping us fallout fans fed with your writing.

Hancock As A Dad

➼ Word Count » 0.6k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ A/N » I'm loving all these father HCs !!

A part of him doesn't think he deserves to care for someone in a fatherly way. I mean, just look at where he lives- look at his life choices, does someone like that really deserve to have that much responsibility in someone else's life?

He shelters you a lot more than you'd think. Drugs? What are drugs? Papa just has a bit of schizophrenia and needs to take his meds. He can try can play it off as much as he wants, but the only people he's fooling are the ferals down the road. He can try to shield you from certain things from the outside world, but he partakes in too much of it himself for it to really be effective.

Sure, he's an addict, but he ain't a deadbeat. Hancock's the type to show up to anything important to you. You've decided to start up a new shop in Goodneighbor? Consider him your first customer! Just bought a new gun and want to test it out in an alley? He'll be right behind you, doing his best to help you aim! He's there to support in any way he can, no matter what it is.

He's always going around telling people that you're his kid. It's just a constant flow of, "You see that one? That's my kid! :)"

Despite how he feels toward McDonough, he'd never want to send too much ill intent his way. He tones down his hatred for his brother a lot when you're around, only because he feels that he's your uncle, whether the two of you are related or not. Family's important to him, and he rather you come up with your own opinion rather than him tell you how you should feel.

Ruffles your hair whenever you do something he's proud of.

He's not overprotective by any means, but if anyone ever were to start pushing you around, he'd gladly rough 'em up for you.

He loves it when you talk about your interests with him. It makes him all fuzzy inside and helps give him better ideas on how to involve himself with those activities more often. He loves being a part of your life, especially when it involves your passions.

Most of the residents in Goodneighbor will wave and greet you by name. It holds the same energy as if a family friend were to come over for dinner.

It might be slightly ironic, and he fully understands how it might seem, but you aren't allowed to do drugs till you're at least 30. He'd hate for you to ruin your life so early. Live a little, then he might reconsider.

He'll take you out to one of the settlements and teach you to throw knives. Just something fun for the two of you to do outside. He might even tell you tales of his own childhood.

He throws the best pity parties. If you're ever feeling depressed, he'll lock the doors leading to his room, and he and Fahrenheit will do everything they can to distract you. They'll play games (mostly chess), give you a bit of alcohol, or even just sit out on the balcony and people-watch.

He's one of the most gently honest people there is. He'd never lie to you, and he sure as hell wouldn't ever want anything he says to come off as rude, so you end up with these incredibly sincere statements laced with the sweetest tone.

Hype man?? Bro is always ready to spit compliments at you whenever you need them. It's almost impossible to feel insecure with a father figure like him constantly checking in on you.

Hancock loves you to bits and wouldn't know what to do with himself if you ever disappeared from his life. He wants the best for you and would do everything he can to ensure that you're happy.

[sugasthreedollarkookie]

Could you do some headcannons for Oliver Wood dating a Slytherin? (No smut please!)

Sure thing!!!

Pairing : Slytherin! Fem reader × Oliver Wood

Warnings : none I don't think. Mentions of toads ass???

Would walk you to all your classes, even if it means he would be a little bit late.

Study dates in the library

Hogsmead dates, takes you to stores and buys little trinkets for you.

You guys can't go into each other's common rooms so you'll have a bunch of secret meeting spots. Like you'll meet in the myrtles bathroom sometimes or some other far off place.

Would always be talking about quittich, you enjoy the talks because of how determined and passionate he is about them, however I feel like it could get annoying when you wanna talk about something else.

You would wear his quittich jersey during the game, or make poster boards for him. He likes it even though it's cheesy, but it makes him feel loved.

Whenever there's a quittich match and it's all rainy and cold he gets gets worried, because he knows that youre watching. He is a little less worried when he sees you with your coat and scarf huddled in a blanket with sowm slytherins.

Gryffindor and Slytherin matches always get intense. But the day of the game you guys will pretend have a rivalry? "You're going down Slytherin" "Hm.. we'll see about that Oliver." Lasts all fucking day.

You call him Olly. He fucking melts. Hands down his favorite nickname. Other people call him that, but when you do it it's just special.

His love language is most likely acts of service and physical touch. So expect him to want to do stuff for you, even simple stuff. He would help you study, or take notes for you when you're out sick. Also expect him to always want to be touching you.

Mcgonagal got so fed up with it after everytime she saw you two together he would always be super close, holding your hand, hugging you, kissing etc. She gave you both detention for a night. After that you make sure that Mcgonagal isn't around while you guys are touching.

He isn't clingy, but he does have small streaks of jealousy. But doesn't everyone?

You'll catch him looking at you from across the room, and when he notices that he's got your attention he'll wink at you. Also, when you're staring at him and he notices he'll wink. Dude is always winking.

When you blow kisses, he'll catch them in his hand and put them in his pocket. "For later." he tells you.

You'll be walking around, waiting for class to start and he'll break out into spontaneous dance and make you join him. Not like sweet slowdancing, no he's like almost breakdancing. People look at you guys weird.

People don't really understand your relationship. But who cares, they dont need to.

He would always be bringing snacks to you.

Stupid cheesy jokes.

He liked pulling pranks on you. Nothing that will make you too pissed off though.

He really likes looking at you, if you have freckles he'll touch every one, he likes tracing your features.

He also likes watching you do your makeup, not that you need it or anything. But he also likes it if you don't wear makeup.

I think that he would prefer it tbh.

He likes humming songs, and he also likes singing. He is a very good singer, who would have thought? So he'll sing to you. Which is usually interrupted by giggling from you both.

He is a very willing and attentive boyfriend. Like if you are in any extracurriculars, you've got his full support. Need pictures for Yearbook? You got it.

He really likes it when you bake for him. Because even though he doesn't really like sweets that much, he really loves yours. He swears you put crack in them.

You guys talk about the future a lot.

Even though you guys are in dif houses you guys would always eat breakfast together. When you first got together he would sit right next to you at the slytherin table. Some of them were pretty pissed off about that, but after a week they realized he wasn't gonna leave anytime soon and gave up.

His favorite part on you physically is probably your hands or your eyes.

He also likes it when you touch his hair /rub his scalp, or when you touch his cheeks in a gentle way. It just makes him feel all warm and fuzzy.

Lots of nicknames for you. Sunshine, sunflower, my love. He also has some kind of "mean" nicknames for you, that he says with love ofc. He'll call you a toads ass while smiling like an angel.

[queenofbaws]

Ohh, never sent anything like this your way and so I don't want to take the reigns too much! But I loved some of the prompts you RBed. Maybe "I keep thinking that something must be wrong with me. Even right now, it feels like I'm ten feet away from myself." In relation to anything Supermassive (UD/Quarry maybe) because I love love how you write fics for those games; take it anyway you'd please. I just super enjoyed the prompt lol

not-quite-six sentence weekend :P

The whole thing had seemed like a joke at first, just another way that the universe could grab them by the ankles, give them a good hard shake, then grab up all the loose change that spilled from their pockets while their heads were spinning. Things had been normal before camp - things had made sense. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the things that went bump in the night were usually just your imagination or one of your pets knocking into something in the dark.

But now there were monsters. Now it was impossible to tell where reality ended and make-believe began. Now...

Well, now they were in a dingy little basement that reeked of burnt coffee, sitting on uncomfortable foldout chairs. It had to be the strangest support group that'd ever existed, bar none, and even that wasn't going the way it should've been...not with the other quote-unquote survivors doing what they were doing. Most of them were fine, but the Blackwood Bunch?

Oh. Oh, the Hacketteers were pretty fed up with them.

"So there I am, soaked to the bone, wearing someone else's clothes, I'm tired, I'm hungry, everything hurts, and it's like...every time I thought things were going to be okay, I...I ended up alone again. It was just...way too much. Insult to injury, you know?" Emma let the rest of her breath out in a heavy exhale, anxiously tucking her hair behind her ears. Per the usual, she hadn't let stage fright stop her from going at the first opportunity she was given, working her way through her story with tight smiles and shallow laughs. She licked her lips, took another breath, and -

"You think that's bad," Jessica spoke up from across the way, the collection of chairs a little too sloppy to be called a 'circle,' per se, "try having frostbite. And a concussion. And being in your underwear for most of it."

There was a ripple of low chatter from a couple of the others - not the Hacketteers, not the Blackwoods, but the others, the ones who'd been watching with slow-growing amusement and exasperation as their strange turf war had developed. In voices too low for the (warring factions) rest of them to hear, a man missing a suspiciously clean chunk of his ear leaned over to murmur, "Bet this is the one where they start throwing chairs," only for a woman with a garishly bright red pixie cut to dip her chin and respond, "Twenty bucks and you're on."

At the forefront, Emma's smile tightened, becoming something automatic. Automatonic, really. "I was in my underwear for a lot of it, actually."

"No frostbite, though," Mike cut in, happy enough to take over Jess's argument for her. "Seriously, you guys don't even know what you're talking about, okay? Like, yeah, sure, I know you got scared or whatever, but until you're fighting for your life out in subzero temps? Pfft. You don't know what it means to survive."

"Says the guy who stuck his hand in a bear trap," Jacob shot back, not bothering to lower his voice.

Mike had been ready, though. "Says the guy who stepped into a snare, then stepped into a bear trap, then...wait, wait, how'd he put it last time?" he asked, making a show of turning to Emily, then Jess, then craning his head around to Sam. "Oh! Right. Got dragged into a hillbilly sex dungeon. All in one night. Rip on the bear trap all you want, my guy, my one moment of dumbassery hardly stacks up to you going full fucking Loony Tunes. Walk off any cliffs while you were at it? Try and blow out a stick of dynamite thinking it was a birthday candle?"

"Hey man, that's not fair!" It was then that Nick threw his hat into the ring, sticking up for Jacob's case without a moment of hesitation. "You guys weren't down there! You have no idea what it was like, being in those cages all night!"

"Uh, hang on. A-a-agree to disagree." Chris was the one who spoke that time, but Ashley had lifted a finger beside him, the two of them seemingly lodging their complaint as a unit. "If we want to talk about dungeon experience, you...you really don't have a leg to stand on here, man. Sorry. You don't. Ash and I were in a fucking Saw movie, okay? So, I-I-I'm sorry that like, you got to sit for most of the night, but - "

"I was a fucking werewolf, dude!" Nick fired back, actually getting to his feet. "A monster! You don't have the first idea what that's like! My body exploded, I almost killed Abi, I...things still feel wrong! I still feel wrong! It's like...sometimes I don't even think this is my real body anymore, like I'm here, but I'm also standing ten feet away from myself! You don't get to just act like you've been there, done that - fuck that!"

A clearing of a throat. An unnecessarily loud, pointed sniff.

And then Josh entered the fray.

"Yeah. Know what? True. True that. Not a one of us - and I mean this, Nicholas - not a single one of us has any idea what it's like to be possessed by something otherworldly, flung around according to its whims, changed beyond recognition, and then woken up to realize, aw shit, it's Monday isn't it? I need to get to work pronto, but I'm just covered in all this gross, sticky blood!" Slowly, moving with deliberation, he straightened in his seat, the reconstruction scars on his face almost gone but not quite, his left eye catching the light in that eerie way human eyes weren't supposed to. "Shit. Wait. Hang on. That's not what I meant to say. Sorry, haven't had any of that coffee burbling away on the counter yet, and you know I'm not myself until I've had my coffee, hee hee, ha ha, hoo hoo. What I meant to say was - eat my whole, entire ass. Get back to me when you can describe the taste of human flesh to me, how's about that?"

She'd been quiet until then, but Abi raised her hands in a silent plea for them to stop, scrambling to take hold of the back of Nick's shirt when he took a single step forward towards Josh. "Guys! Guys, hey, this...I...fighting isn't helping stuff, okay? We should just - "

"Okay. Honestly? Sorry, not sorry, I'm on their side with this one," Laura piped in, the Blackwood gang sneering as the Hacketteers whirled. "You guys have...no idea what a hard time is, okay? Yeah, wow, yikes, werewolves. Try being in a jail cell for two months, never knowing if the weirdo who kidnapped you was going to let you go, kill you, bring you something to eat, or just stand outside your cell breathing too hard. On top of the werewolf thing! On top of it!"

"Yeah, like, not for nothing, but we didn't even get to make friendship bracelets, you know?" agreed Max, still nodding right along with Laura.

"They didn't even get to make friendship bracelets," Emily repeated, sadly shaking her head.

"Big talk. Real big talk. I'm sorry, did any of you walk away from your weird little winter getaway missing a limb?" Dylan asked. "No. Didn't think s - "

"Chris messed up his knee!" Ashley snapped. "Mike's missing fingers! Sam's, like, almost totally deaf in her one ear now! You can't just - "

"Yeah, I'm sorry, you didn't get fucking mauled," Emily cut in, speaking over Ashley as she yanked her shirt to one side, revealing the massive scar on her shoulder. "Don't complain about - "

"Pretty sure I got mauled, actually! Pretty sure a few of us got mauled, in fact! You don't - "

"You guys weren't lost underground for hours, trying to find your way out." Matt, that time, his usual stoic silence thrown by the wayside. "Pitch black. In a maze. Hearing something hunt you - "

"Wow. All due respect, dude? You weren't listening to our story at all, were you?" Ryan accused. "We - "

And with that, the meeting devolved the way it always did, all of the younger survivors pointing fingers and shouting, comparing wounds and battle scars, stacking their traumas on top of one another's like Pokemon cards. It wasn't the most therapeutic of ways to go about things, of that there could be no doubt, but...it must've been doing something, because they kept showing up every week.

The world was a strange place, after all. It only made sense that they'd be strange now too.