#to also be a super valid way to read the series that is just as relevant to his character arc and i don't see people talking about enough
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
buggachat · 11 months ago
Text
Sometimes I think about how Adrien, throughout the series, constantly grapples with his fear of abandonment. Gabriel conditioned him to believe that any love he receives is purely transactional, and that to earn affection he has to prove his utility. Adrien is constantly trying to prove his worth to his father for scraps of affection, and Chat Noir infamously crumbles on-screen any time he feels as though he is replaceable to Ladybug. It's a constant insecurity of his, like everyone will just dump him like a sack of potatoes the moment they find out how useless he is.
Meanwhile, all Marinette wants to is ensure that Adrien is happy. Because she loves him. She doesn't give two shits about how """useful""" he is. She holds him and tells him that she will never abandon him (both as Ladynoir and as Adrienette), and her fantasies are about saving him, not about him being "useful" to her. Throughout their relationship, Adrien is forced to disappoint Marinette constantly for reasons outside of his control (amok commands), and yet Marinette is still there for him.
At Adrien's lowest point, when he is forcibly torn away from everyone who had ever showed him genuine care, locked away in an all-white room and at his most "useless", right after disappointing Marinette and unable to even join the final battle or contribute in any way, she still saves him. She still loves him. Because he doesn't have to prove anything to her. Because he is loved and cherished for who he is, not for what he does, and that love is not conditional. Adrien's "happy ending" at the end of the first arc wasn't about him finally proving how useful he can be, because he never actually cared about being useful — he just saw it as the only means to feel loved and needed. Instead, in the end, he found out that he was loved and needed no matter what.
2K notes · View notes
moonstruckme · 4 months ago
Note
hello mae baby please may you write a fic with anyone u like with a reader who is really drunk and the other person is taking care of her and she thinks she is annoying and they ar like why would u think that i love looking after u and some tenderness maybe with mauruaders but actually with whoever you’d like mae u are so nice and lovely and kind bye bye’!!!!
Hi lovely, thank you so much for requesting!
cw: alcohol
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
You know Remus is reading when you get home, because he doesn’t call for you and you are not quiet as you come inside. You drop your keys while trying to hang them on the hook, your bag bounces off the chair you toss it onto and falls noisily onto the floor, and your body lists as you walk towards your bedroom so that you bump your shoulder into the wall not once but twice. Your entry is a series of clatters and crashes and clunks, and yet when you make it to the bedroom your boyfriend’s attention is glued to his book as though by hypnosis. 
“Hi.” The word curves with the smile that takes you, tilting upwards. Remus looks up. 
“Hi, dovey.” He blinks foggily, taking you in with your hip leaned against the doorjamb and your ankles crossed awkwardly. “How was book club?” 
You feel your smile widen with delight. “It was great,” you profess. You aim for him, and Remus takes his book in one hand, holding the other out like he means to catch you. You land on the edge of the bed on your stomach, your feet dangling just above the floor behind you. “Everyone loved my banana bread.” 
“A show of good judgment,” Remus hums. He reaches behind you, helping you get your shoe off. “Is there any left?” 
One shoe comes free, and you let your foot fall back. “Mm, there was, but I left it for Maria.” 
Remus stops messing with your other shoe to look at you disappointedly. 
“I know, but she hosted! I had to be nice. I’ll make you another one soon.” 
He sighs, but it’s for show. Your other shoe slides off. “Fine, I suppose since she hosted.” 
“I knew you’d get it.” You pull your legs onto the bed and sit up, grinning at your boyfriend. He likes to play at selfishness, but you know he’d have done the same. Even if you’d asked, he would have told you to leave the bread. And he breaks easily now, returning your smile with one of his own. It feels like a warm tide rushing over you. 
“Oh. I feel like I should also warn you, I had quite a bit of wine.” 
Remus’ tongue presses into his cheek, a sort of outward-poking dimple. “Did you?”
“A little,” you say coyly, looking at him through your lashes. “It was sparkling and really yummy, what was I supposed to do?” 
“A valid point.” 
“So that’s just your warning. You’ve been warned.” 
“I will proceed with caution,” he assures you, a warmth to his voice. “What did everyone think of the book?”
“Oh.” You raise your eyebrows at him excitedly. “There was controversy. Big controversy. I super loved it, but a lot of other people thought it was the worst one she’d done so far!” 
“Really?”
“Yeah. They made some valid points, but I don’t know, maybe I’m easy to please, but I didn’t care about any of that stuff as much as I cared that I’d had a good time reading it, you know? And then everyone was giving their rankings of her books, and there were just some really crazy choices. Some people thought her second one was the best!” 
“No.” Remus manages to look upset for your sake, though he’s only heard about the books from you. “Did they really?” 
Your smile blooms anew at his enthusiasm, and you feel, suddenly urgently, that you’re not close enough to him. You move into his lap, but that’s not good enough either. At this point, Remus is looking at you with a fond, bemused sort of intrigue. You must be predictable enough, because only a soft puff of laughter exhales him when you start to worm your way under his sweater. 
It’s warm. You consider, for a moment, simply staying in there, with Remus’ chest and his smell and the sound of your own breathing, but ultimately decide you’d like to see him, too. You’d miss him too much. 
“Hello,” he says, not unhappily, as you break the surface of his neckline.
“Hi,” you say back. 
“To what do I owe this visit?” 
You shrug. It’s an odd movement, one of your shoulders stretching his sweater while the other bumps against his chest. “I wanted to be with you. It’s quite nice in here.” 
Remus only hums, tilting his head down to kiss your nose. It’s a slow, fond kiss, like he’s just decided to rest his lips there for a moment or two. It sends pleasant warm tingles from your face all the way down to your fingertips. 
“What else did you talk about?” he asks. 
“Hm?” 
“In book club.” 
“Oh. Well, not everyone there had read her other books, so we had to sort of get into the patterns and the things she always does. Some of it was routine for us, but totally unexpected for them, which makes sense I guess because
” 
You go on in circles and loops that even you can’t keep track of, your mind lax and happy and your lips moving seemingly on autopilot. You talk about the book itself and the people you read it with, and about the girl who’d hosted and how she’d had the cutest dog you’d ever seen, and does Remus remember that time you went to the animal shelter and saw that adorable puppy? Well, you mean no offense to the puppy because he was very cute, but this girl’s dog is even cuter than that. 
It’s an incalculable stretch of time later that you realize Remus has put down his book. 
“Oh, my god.” You lean your forehead on his shoulder. When you close your eyes, you feel like you’re floating. You really must be worse than you thought. “I’m so sorry. You were trying to read.” 
“Before you got home, yeah,” says Remus, his tone indulgent, “but now I’m talking to you.” 
“Yeah, because I won’t shut up because I’m all drunk,” you lament. “I know how annoying that is.” 
“Hey.” Your boyfriend’s voice is tender. “Who said anything about that? I’m not annoyed.” 
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, sweetheart. Why would you assume that I was? I love talking to you.” 
You try to look up at him, and your nose bumps his chin violently. “Oh.” You try to draw back, but there’s nowhere to go. You’re confined to the neckline of Remus’ sweater. One of your hands snakes up to touch clumsily at his chin. “Shit, I’m sorry.” 
Remus tsks, his own hands coming on either side of your face to hold you still. “Don’t worry, I’m alright. Are you?” He runs a thumb gingerly over the bridge of your nose. 
It’ll probably bruise a little tomorrow, but that’s not something you’re going to tell him tonight. “Yeah,” you say meekly. “Thanks for dealing with me. It’s really nice of you.” 
“Oh, don’t,” he shushes you, pressing another gentle kiss to your nose. “I’m not being nice, sweetheart. And you’re not something to be dealt with. I love looking after you; it doesn’t cost me anything to do it.” 
You try to shrink down inside his sweater, and Remus tsks. 
“Tell me this, if I was blackout and legless, would you mind chatting with me and taking care of me?” 
“I’m not blackout drunk, Rem.” 
“For argument’s sake, let’s say.” 
You press your lips together, not wanting to concede the argument but your answer categorical. “No.” 
“Right, because you’ve done it before.” Remus looks at you with equal parts kindness and knowingness. “And were you annoyed with me then?” 
You’re almost offended he’d ask. “Of course not.” 
“I see.” His tongue pokes into his cheek again, lips quirking slightly. “Seems like that sort of thing might go both ways, no?” 
You push your face into his neck and sigh hard into his skin, making a little sound bubble up in his chest that sounds suspiciously giggle-esque. 
“You don’t always have to be right, you know.” 
“I usually am, though.” He wraps his arms around his own front, giving you a squeeze. “Best settle into that fact, dovey. It’ll make things much more efficient for us both.” 
798 notes · View notes
midnight-in-town · 1 year ago
Text
Ao no Exorcist is a Shonen series written by a woman and it shows
Since the latest chapter, I've been thinking about how several usual Shonen tropes are written rather differently under Kato-sensei's pen. No judgement or anything, it's just cool to observe. Some examples :
1) Rin's mentor is a woman
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2) Rin's secret, despite being the MC, was revealed in ch13 to the entire cast, meanwhile Shiemi, The Main Girl, who was introduced to be so helpless is only starting to be explained.
Tumblr media
3) Also, the Mysterious plot-relevant Shonen Parent is actually the twins' mother. (Of course Shiro is super plot-relevant too, but Satan is still angsting over Yuri and she's a huge part of the reason why he's the big bad)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
4) Rin also changed his view about his future throughout the story: from dropping out of school, passing by hoping to become the Order's Paladin (probably to cope with Shiro's death and also to antagonize Arthur), to finally showing way more interest and potential in the (less epic and heroic in appearance) field of talismanic cooking.
Tumblr media
5) When it comes to arcs, mental illness is a valid reason to build a character arc around...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
6) And so is making an arc about girls being "cursed" to basically "get married and have children before they hit 30, the age where their beauty fade thus they become useless" :
Tumblr media Tumblr media
7) ANE is a story about women becoming traitors to protect their loved ones, like Mamushi
Tumblr media
or becoming overwhelmed because men toyed with their feelings like Tamamo
Tumblr media
8) Older women can be absolute badasses like Shiemi's grandma
Tumblr media
or Lucy.
Tumblr media
9) Complicated mother-daughter relationship and girl friendships are given as much focus as complicated father-son relationships and sweet bro friendships (like Bon and his dad during the Kyoto arc, as well as the complicated but deep bond between the Kyoto Trio)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
10) And one of my favorites: full time single dad, asking for help to do the job as well as he can and finding his true purpose in life by doing so :D
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hmm and now that I think about it, the only other Shonen series written by a woman I've been as invested in is Kuroshitsuji, by Yana Toboso, and similar examples can be found in it too, namely:
1) If Ciel ever finally admits needing a mentor, his aunt Frances will probably play that role
Tumblr media
2) Girls can be super strong & skilled (Elizabeth, Mey Rin) and clever (Sieglinde)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
3) (one part of) the Big Bad is a woman (Queen Victoria)
Tumblr media
4) maybe Ciel's entire revenge stems from a conflict between Queen Victoria and Ciel's maternal grandmother, Claudia.
Tumblr media
5) the Undertaker has been a continuously freaking pain in the ass because he probably fell in love with that same maternal grandmother and couldn't mourn properly
Tumblr media
TL;DR we love our boys and their spectacular growth and development under women's pens a.k.a shonen series written by ladies are hella fun to read. :D
946 notes · View notes
raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months ago
Text
skully j. graves halfway checkpoint
Tumblr media
Consider this part 2 of my evolving opinion on Skully! My initial impressions of him can be found here. Now that we’re at part 3 (presumably out of 5) of the event, I wanted to check in with updates on my feelings!
A lot of the points in my first impressions post still stand. However, what I’ll say is that Skully’s
 villainous side
 has definitely come out very strongly, especially in 3-20. A lot of my friends were squealing and getting super excited over this part. I feel like a lot of his popularity comes from 2 factors: 1) his overt flintiness (since much of the Twst fandom seems to long for this kind of (yume) content) and 2) Skully is one of the few characters who consistently acknowledges Yuu and asks for their opinions on stuff. The latter is very in demand, especially for the western fandom, which is very individualistic and often views Yuu or their Yuusonas as an integral character. And that’s valid! It’s just that this alone isn’t enough to satisfy me.
I’m
 admittedly less thrilled about the direction Skully’s taking, and it’s completely for reasons related to my personal tastes 😂 I had mentioned in my original post that Skully reads to me as a Halloween-flavored Idia due to his otaku-like obsession with Halloween and how negatively he reacts when people express dissent toward his opinion. It feels very elitist and gate-keepy, which are aspects of fandom culture I find distasteful. (This is also a large part of why I didn’t like Idia at first.)
Edit (noticed this later and decided to tack it on): Another thing that really bothered me was that Skully keeps asking Yuu for their opinion. It SEEMS polite to consider them, but his intentions are way less selfless than they appear. Skully is often asking Yuu for their thoughts AFTER some other character has disagreed with him. So he is literally only consulting Yuu because he wants someone on HIS side. If you ever pick the dialogue option where you disagree with him, Skully insists there must be a misunderstanding and he will explain it to you no matter how long it takes. Don’t you see??? He doesn’t want to know what Yuu truly thinks; he wants validation in his own way of thinking. That’s NOT actually being considerate. The same shit happens when Skully tries to kiss Grim again. Grim dodges but Skully sneaks behind him and kisses him anyway because I guess that’s what gentlemen do according to him. Bro has demonstrated time and time again he does not value consent nor what others’ thoughts are on anything that differs from his own thoughts.
Those aspects of Skully get even more prominent in part 3. Throughout this section, Skully keeps reassuring himself that while he’s going along with the group’s plans for a boisterous and exciting Halloween, he’s certain that Jack-sama will surprise everyone with a Halloween that is more in line with a solitary, depressing one Skully envisions. Once Skully learns that Jack has no such intentions, he is disappointed and proceeds with a series of crimes 💀 Skully:
Tricks the Pumpkin King into drinking a sleeping poison
Does the good ol’ crazed villain laugh
Pulls a serious of expressions not even a loving mother would excuse
Curses and shouts
Assumes control of the Halloween plans
PUMPKINS GRIM when Grim and Yuu walk in on the scene of his crime (even when Grim gives zero indication that he thinks Skully is responsible for the poisoning)
Stuffs pumpkin!Grim into a sack
Colludes with Lock, Shock, and Barrel (for what yet, I don’t know)
Casually decides to show Yuu the best Halloween ever AFTER ALL THAT (it’s still not clear at this point if Yuu also got Pumpkin’d or not); the phrasing is still quite romantic but this is still a hostage situation, no??????
Like, wow, that’s
 😭 I’m not necessarily upset that Skully does bad things in the first place (lots of the Twst characters do questionable things), I’m just not sure if I’m following his reasoning for doing all of this. It seems like a LOT to me. Like, very niche and highly targeted anger.
He seems fixated on his own idea of Halloween—the Halloween he grew up with and was taught about in his village. For whatever reason, he is very sensitive to people challenging this version of the holiday or doing anything new. In fact, he becomes IRATE about it and drops the gentlemanly facade (which also seems to be something he is concerned about maintaining??). Skully is very frustrated that people don’t understand him, and that now his Halloween idol is also letting him down. Notably, his politeness deteriorates when he speaks about those who disregard his opinions on Halloween. He either becomes very gloomy or very mad (usually the latter), venting about worthless idiots who don’t understand his vision. Very strangely, he also mentions vaguely spiritual terms like atonement and his purpose in this world. Skully’s obsession with Halloween is so intense that it is evident even in his UM.
I get that his hometown was into this stuff, but even then, it seems pretty excessive??? Why is he so
 insecure about this? Why does he react so violently? It really makes me wonder what the backstory will be for this massive Halloween fixation. Surely it’s not just being bullied by peers for his special interests (though that might play a role in it)? It sems to go far deeper than that. I would like to know, but I won’t be setting my expectations too high in case i end up being disappointed 💩 Historically, backstory reveals haven’t always made me like characters more.
I also feel like he’s not as crafty as previous Halloween villains were. Rollo ran on spite and constructed an elaborate plan to entrap the NRC students, Fellow relied on his UM and smooth talk
 Skully is somewhat tricky in that he poisons Jack, but then he automatically gives himself away by pumpkin-ing Grim??? Why didn’t he just pretend he visited Jack and found him already poisoned? It would be so easy for him to play innocent and Grim and Yuu would believe him because he’s been mostly nice and even agreed to follow along with the Halloween plans even if he disagreed with them. He literally could have blamed Boogie’s Boys or Oogie Boogie himself, ANYONE. And how exactly does Skully plan on taking over Halloween after all of this??? He doesn’t exactly command power. Skully just seems a little short sighted and disorganized, and I don’t know if I enjoy this kind of a character.
Skully’s controlling, angry otaku energy is unfortunately NOT appealing to me whatsoever
 Again, it feels like the worst aspects of Idia OTL But!! i’m really happy for all the people who really like this about him and I’m of course staying open minded for where this event will take us. Who knows, maybe parts 4 and 5 will completely turn him around for me, maybe once we get the backstory. (This sort of happened with me and Idia?? He’s still not my favorite guy but I definitely empathized with him a lot more after seeing the post-OB flashback.) We’ll see!
P.S. I wonder if the R cards this event will be the first to be pumpkin’d similar to how R cards in Playful Land were the first to be puppet’d?? That would certainly get the biggest threat to Skully’s plans, Malleus, out of the picture quickly. First it was Tamago-sama
 Now it’s Kabocha-sama

P. P. S. Slightly morbid to think about how those skewered pumpkins Jamil was stroking could have been pumpkin’d people 💀
164 notes · View notes
f1daydreamers · 5 months ago
Text
đđ«đžđšđ€đąđ§đ  đđšđ«đ«đąđžđ«đŹ [𝐓𝐀𝟔𝟔] đđšđ«đ­ 𝟒
Tumblr media
gif credits: @trenty
Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader
Summary: Arne, in hopes to focus on his team’s mental health as much as their physical, recruits a younger but just as educated psychologist to work one-to-one with the more reserved players. Trent is one of them.
A/N: I have so many ideas for this series but I can't get too carried away otherwise its gonna end up longer than a book lmaooo, also super random but this idea came to me from rewatching Trent and Robbo’s wingmen episodes and in one of them he goes, “team bonding!” verryyy heavily in his Scouse accent lol
Warnings: fluff, mentions of being overworked but nothing too harsh, general stress, this is a cute one ok ur welcome
Word Count: 2.7k words (10 mins reading avg)
...
“Why you so sour for?”
You glanced up to see your sister plopping on to the sofa, grabbing the TV remote off of the glass table situated in front of you. Her expression was curious, eyebrows raised in an exaggerated arc. You’d forgotten you’d even put a movie on.
Closing your laptop, you ran your palm over the cool steel surface.
“No reason. It’s nearly time to go to bed, what are you doing?” You watched as she navigated the TV menu, opening the ITV app and clicking on Love Island.
You rolled your eyes. “Don’t tell me you like that stuff.”
She smirked, not taking her eyes off the screen as the latest episode began to play. “No one likes it, it’s just funny as fuck.”
“Hey, why do we need to swear?”
“For expression,” she replied with a shrug, as if that was a valid reason.
“Express yourself in other ways.”
“Like what?” She challenged, finally looking at you.
You paused, a little stumped. “The world is your oyster, go and find some.”
She snorted, clearly unimpressed with your wisdom. You hoisted yourself off of the couch, tucking your laptop back into your work bag and zipping it up.
Kaia paused the show, turning so her knees were on the sofa, looking over the backrest to see you better. “Fine, but that doesn’t answer why you’re in such a mood.”
“It’s just work,” you admitted, leaning against the counter. Your eyes traced the outlines of your sister’s old drawings hung on the wall. “A lot more pressure than I’m used to.”
Her eyes lit up with youthful curiosity. “How’s the job going? Met any really fit guys yet?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Is that all you care about?”
“It’s important! C’mon, spill,” she insisted, leaning forward.
You sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “The job is good. Stressful, but good. As for fit guys.. there's.. I don’t know, a few? I’m there to work, not flirt.”
“Sure, sure,” she teased.
You chuckled, tossing a freshly washed blanket you’d just pulled out of the dryer at her. “Oo, thanks,” she said, catching it with a grin.
You rolled your eyes as she sprawled out on the couch, the music of the show coming to life once again.
You pulled the rest of the sheets from the dryer, shoving them into the laundry basket to fold in the morning. As you wiped down the counters and finished the dishes in the sink, your mind wandered again.
Arne, Lee, and the club had all been incredibly supportive since your arrival, but the internal pressure you’d carried from university - to be the best, to never fail - was fading. Wataru, Conor, and Curtis were all doing great.
From your reports, you were instructed to make Trent the priority, at least to gather enough information for a new evaluation.
But how could you do that with a player who seemingly wanted nothing to do with you?
“Y/N?” Your sister’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of your trance.
“Yeah?” You replied, turning to face the back of the couch.
The show paused again. A beat of silence hung in the air.
“No one’s giving you a hard time, are they?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned, “of course not. Why would you think that?”
“We’re pretty notorious for being hated.” Sadness poked through the tone in her voice.
“Nobody hates us, Kaia. And no one is giving me a hard time at work, I promise.” You tried to sound reassuring. She was a kid and she meant well, of course she did, but she didn’t need to know the full truth. She was your sister, not a therapist.
“Okay. Cause you do know I’ll fuck ‘em up, right?”
You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement. She picked her head up to let you sit then rested it in your lap. You pulled her hairs away from her face, combing them back with your fingers.
“With your swears?” You teased.
“I got a mean punch."
“Which I hope isn’t being put to use, thank you very much.”
“I’m an angel, really.” Which she tried to pull off in an innocent way that really didn’t suit her.
“Mhm,” you hummed, sceptical but smiling.
She chuckled, turning her head to face the TV again.
“Come on, let’s watch this shit show.” You said playfully.
“I thought you said no swearing.” She retorted matter-of-factly.
“That rule doesn't apply to 25 and above people.”
“Let me guess, when you turn 26, that rule’s gonna be extended by a year?” Kaia asked, her lips curling upwards.
“Precisely.” You smiled down at her as she rolled her eyes, playing the show.
Your smile faltered almost immediately. You subconsciously continued smoothing over Kaia’s hair, but your mind was plagued with thoughts about work, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, about him.
...
The first two matches of Liverpool’s season had come and gone in a flash. But, despite in how much of a blur it passed, the level of work every day only surmounted the work of the days before.
But you could take it. If you couldn’t handle psychology, you’d probably be useless at everything else.
The new week began, and the first thing you spotted in the mountain of emails was an update. Your cabinet for the office had arrived, courtesy of the club, who were happy to cover the costs once you'd submitted your request.
You swivelled your chair to face the desk phone, dialling reception downstairs. The phone rang twice before Annika's cheerful voice answered.
"Hello," she said brightly.
"Hey, it's Y/N from upstairs. I got an email saying my cabinet had arrived. Am I okay to collect it now?" You asked, glancing around your office and imagining where the new cabinet would go.
"Oh, don't worry," Annika replied with a smile in her voice. "We'll send someone up to drop it off for you."
"Really? It's honestly no bother," you said, feeling a bit guilty about causing extra work.
"No, I insist. They’ll be up shortly," she reassured you.
"Thank you, I appreciate that," you said, a note of relief in your voice.
"No worries!" Annika chirped.
You hung up the phone, feeling a bit lighter. Come to think of it, you really didn’t fancy carrying a ton of weight up the stairs and potentially embarrassing yourself to any bystanders.
Once you’d gone through your emails, creating your to-do list for the day, you patiently waited for your cabinet to come.
But it didn’t.
You tried to put it to the back of your mind, focusing on ticking off the first two items on your list before your first session. Yet, even as you checked them off, you found yourself glancing at the door, expecting the cabinet to arrive at any moment.
An hour passed, then another, and still no sign of the delivery. The anticipation was starting to wear on you.
You glanced at the clock situated on your desk, wondering if you’d be able to make it back in time for your session with Conor.
But just as you were ready to leave, there was a knock on your door. You walked over to open it, expecting only the Irishman. There he was, but also holding a large brown box with an outline of your cabinet on the front.
“Uh-” You couldn’t register what was happening.
“Mind if we come in? Don't fancy holding this all day.”
We.
You realised you hadn’t responded as Trent lifted his head to stare at you.
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” You opened the door, standing off to the side. You allowed them to come in and they placed the box upright against the wall.
"Annika mentioned she'd send someone up, I didn't think she meant the players." Conor chuckled, motioning to his trusted helper.
"Yeah, well, Brian was going to bring it up but he got busy so reception asked if we could help. We were coming up anyways," he explained.
“Oh. Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, your voice carrying a hint of genuine gratitude. You glanced at Trent, and a heavy silence ensued.
“Yeah, whatever,” Trent muttered, his tone dripping with indifference, leaving almost immediately. You let out a quiet sigh, your shoulders slumping ever so slightly.
Conor, who had been observing the exchange with a wry smile, exhaled through his nose in mild amusement.
“He’s warming up to you,” he retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes, trying to hide a smirk.
“Aw, you really think so?”
“Sure,” he replied with a grin.
“Sit down,” you said, gesturing to the chairs. You both laughed softly as you walked over to shut the door.
Yet, an unsettling frustration gnawed at you from within. Trent had always been distant, but after weeks of being here, he still showed no signs of letting his guard down. You were no stranger to the challenges of being a psychologist, it's not like this was your first job.
But in the past few days, self-doubt had crept in. You wondered if you were even fit for it; maybe the pressures of working for one of the most prestigious football clubs in the country were finally catching up to you and kicking you in the ass.
You shook your head, feigning a smile as you returned to your desk, starting your session.
...
“Is this upside down?” You muttered to yourself, flipping the instructions around again.
What use were instructions if they had no text under them?
You debated calling your dad, but the lecture you’d receive about the hours of manual labour he used to put you through every time a new piece of furniture arrived at the house was not worth it.
“Okay. Wood, screws, knob, cabinet. Perfect.” It was only a small one, so you weren’t worried about the height of it per se, just worried about everything else.
You slumped onto the floor, surrounded by longer and shorter pieces of wood with a bag of screws and one handy screwdriver that you were currently twirling between your fingers.
Just as you were about to try again, a voice broke through your concentration.
“What are you doing?”
You gasped, your hand instinctively going to your chest as the paper floated to the ground.
“Oh my God,” you exclaimed, breathless and startled. “Can you knock next time?”
“I did knock,” Trent replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Did you?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to recall when you heard a knock reverberate through your office.
“No.” He admitted.
You huffed, feeling a mix of annoyance and embarrassment at falling for his joke.
“Funny.” You mumbled, shaking your head.
To your surprise, he plopped onto the sofa situated by the side of the wall, near the door. Your eyebrows raised slightly.
Trent, sitting on your sofa, in your office, willingly? This was new. Only today, you were doubting yourself if you’d ever be able to get through to him and yet here he was.
You didn’t want to overanalyse the situation but it was hard to ignore the significance of it. Maybe he was finally starting to let his guard down, even if just a little.
There was a strange combination of nervousness and relief running riot inside of you.
Rather than drawing attention to it, you chose to stay focused on the task at hand, wary of saying anything that might reinforce his emotional walls.
“I’m trying to build a cabinet, if you must know.” You didn’t want to sound as annoyed as you were - not necessarily by the man you were conversing with, but more so by the wooden contraption that was puzzling you to your core.
He peered over the armrest, then slowly returned to his original position. “Making a lot of progress, it seems.”
“How nice of you to state the obvious,” you replied calmly, but your mind was racing.
“It’s late, how come you’re still here?” You asked, trying to make conversation. He just shrugged, pulling out his phone from his trouser pocket.
You gave a half-smile. Even if he wasn’t in the mood for conversation, he was still here, and that’s what mattered to you.
Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed by, and you were officially ready to give up. Resting your head against your desk, still seated on the floor, you were on the verge of admitting defeat and calling your dad.
Your attention was diverted by a soft creak from the sofa frame. Trent stood up, and you looked up at him, squinting as the ceiling light shone brightly.
“You heading out?” You asked, your voice tinged with resignation.
He took a small step to the right, blocking the light from hitting your eyes. He glanced around, as if debating something.
His mouth parted slightly.
“Move over.”
What?
“Huh?” you said, bewildered.
He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, motioning to the pile of wood still stacked in various directions. “Move.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” He replied blandly, yet still entertaining your conversation. A few weeks ago, he would’ve murdered you.
You glanced down at your cabinet, which was rather resembling modern art, then back up at him.
“Are you suggesting women can’t build things?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
He tilted his head downward, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Women can. It’s just you that can’t. Wanna disagree?”
Your pressed your bottom lip up to your top, as if you were actually considering the idea. “I’d love to argue, but you’re lucky I’m too tired right now. Maybe come back tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off.”
“Move over or I’m leaving,” he said, a touch more firmly.
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” You chuckled.
You scooted over, making room for Trent to sit beside you. He settled on the floor, crossing his legs. There was a fair amount of distance between you.
You found yourself stealing glances at him as he took a look at the instructions a few times, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude for his unexpected help.
His presence was a welcome distraction.
You couldn’t deny you were entirely useless as he separated the pieces, lining them up to get a full look at everything, ensuring nothing was absent.
“Screwdriver?” He asked for quietly and you cast a quick look around, spotting it underneath a plank of wood.
“Here.” His fingers brushed yours as he took it from you, a touch that you were acutely aware of but one he didn’t seem to think twice about.
Whenever your knees brushed while adjusting the cabinet or while holding it in place, you could feel the warmth of his proximity, which only heightened your perception of him.
After some time, the cabinet stood completed. You couldn’t help but smile proudly at the result.
Trent glanced at your beaming face and quickly looked away, as if unsure how to react. The fleeting moments of physical contact had created a soft tension in the air.
You tilted your head, deciding to tease him while you still had the chance. “Does it look a bit bent or is it just me?”
He barely looked at the cabinet, already ready to fire a response back. “It’s just you.”
You scoffed, your eyes meeting as he extended the screwdriver back toward you. You swallowed as you took it, another brush of hands.
It was brief and unexpected but he too registered it this time. He briefly tensed but stood up quickly after.
You just about scrambled to your feet after him, placing your screwdriver on your desk.
Before he could leave, you called out, “thank you.”
He turned to give you a simple nod, brushing off your gratitude.
“I mean it. Not just for building this,” you gestured toward the cabinet, “but for being here. I’m always happy to see you.”
A silence befell you both, but it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable as it had before.
“If you don’t mind my asking, how come you came here?”
He thought about his answer for a second, wanting to correctly word it.
“Saw you struggling through the door. Thought you were finally having a heart attack or something.”
You paused for a second, slowly nodding your head. “Couldn’t miss it, huh?”
At that, Trent’s lips curved into a genuine smile as he looked away from your eyes, the first smile you’d seen from him that was actually for you.
It was a subtle, upward curl, softening his usually serious expression.
You mirrored his smile, it was hard not to. Perhaps you’d leaned forward, or your shoulders had finally relaxed, but you weren’t focused on the specifics.
“See you round, psychologist.”
You hummed, afraid that even if you opened your mouth, nothing would come out.
You watched him walk away, your eyes falling to the cabinet against the wall.
Seeing him smile, just smile at you, was a moment you wouldn’t forget so soon. It was as if a dam had burst, releasing a flood of relief and hope you’d nearly given up on.
But before you could think about it further, your phone buzzed. It was Kaia, asking when you’d be home.
You hadn’t even realised what time it was.
“Shit.”


Part 5
Masterlist
Comment below if you want to be part of the taglist! Once you are part of it, you'll be reminded for every part of the series until its completion!
Taglist: @trentwife @bluebreadenthusiast @julovesurmom @blubsberries @remmysthings @heyjudeb @keepitabuckxx @vivi-grace @hoddystark @hiireadstuff @trentione @missusstark @iamasimpingh0e @xxxstormyninixxx @lolawwww22 @myloveisforbellingham @purpleniight @bffrwme
248 notes · View notes
befuddledcinnamonroll · 1 year ago
Text
Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023
I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.
I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).
So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).
(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)
1) The Gifmakers
Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.
There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.
Tumblr media
2) The expertise
The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!
3) The meta analysis
I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).
And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.
Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!
4) The wild theories
The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.
Tumblr media
5) Immediate acceptance
I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.
Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.
And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.
6) Mutuals
I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).
Tumblr media
7) The self-exploration
I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.
Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.
8) The weirdness
I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.
Tumblr media
9) The thirst
So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.
Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.
Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.
10) The communal watching experience
There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.
Tumblr media
So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!
273 notes · View notes
gallavichthings · 7 months ago
Text
Gallavich Week 2024 - bingo edition
Tumblr media
Hello, lovelies! It's time for another Gallavich Week. This time: bingo edition!
The 2024 Gallavich Week will be held between June 24th and June 30th. As this time it's a bingo, there will be no assigned theme for each day, meaning you can post your works on any day during that week.
Guidelines and cards after the read more because this post ended up way too long. ^_^
Some general rules:
There are four cards (at the end of this post): one/two-word prompts, dialogue prompts, tropes, and art and other medias. You can post something from just one or all of them. You can also use more than one prompt in the same work. There's no minimum or limit to the number of works you can post.
All kinds of fanworks are accepted (fic, art, videos, gifs, analysis, crafts... anything), as long as they're original. (Unless they're a re-imagining of another work, in which case please also mention it when you post and get authorization first if the original isn't yours.)
AI is not accepted!
No sign-ups required. Just post and tag me. :)
Here is the AO3 community, for those who wish to use it.
Don't forget to tag me using @ at the body of the post so that I can see it and reblog it (you can do it after a read more or by reblogging if you wish to "hide" it). Also, please indicate clearly which prompt(s) was/were used.
Some suggestions, which are not rules but do help with posting:
If you're posting a long fic in its entirety here on Tumblr, please use a read more and/or tag it "long post".
If you're posting nsfw art here, please use the community guidelines to inform so.
If you post more than one work on AO3, I suggest making different works, and not just different chapters of one single work. This helps with tagging, both for those who want to find your work and for those who might want to avoid something. It also helps when people don't have to comb through several chapters to find what they're looking for. If you want to connect your works, you can put them all under a series. And yes, this is also valid for drabbles and art.
There are no prizes for this bingo, but those who make a bingo get bragging rights (and a special shout out - just let me know you've done it because I'm likely to miss it).
BINGO: 3 cells in a row (vertically, horizontally, or diagonally).
SUPER BINGO: 3 cells in a row in two cards.
ULTRA BINGO: 3 cells in a row in three or four cards (are you ok?).
UBER BINGO: All the 9 cells of the same card.
SUPREME BINGO: All 9 cells of the same card in two different cards (good luck with that).
EXTREME BINGO: All 9 cells of the same card in three different cards (seriously, are you ok? Is this worth it?).
ULTIMATE BINGO: All 9 cells of the same card in ALL of the four different cards (you get ALL the bragging rights!!! But also, please rest).
And now, the cards:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
EDIT: forgot to mention, by Taste of Chicago I mean this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste_of_Chicago
And Starry Night is, indeed Van Gogh's painting. And yes, Final Fantasy the video game.
I think the rest is quite obvious, but let me know if you have any questions.
111 notes · View notes
whimsiwitchy · 5 months ago
Text
I hear the secrets that you keep (series)
chapter four: wicked game
Pedro Pascal x F!reader 
series masterlist
series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.
Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, warnings may change as the story progresses. 
authors note: Hi everyone. There are two songs that go with what’s happening during two different parts of this chapter. They’re both listed with title and artist if you want to listen to them during it. Also when scenes from the movie are in play, the character names Daniel and Janet will be used. Thank you <3
chapter summary: y/n attends more calls for Risky Disco and sorts some stuff out with Pedro. 
Tumblr media
â•”â•â•àź“àč‘♥àč‘àź“â•â•â•—
“Did I mention that you looked really beautiful today?” 
When you first read it, you immediately locked your phone and tossed it across the couch. He couldn’t have meant that right? Maybe he was just being super friendly. Theories swam around your mind and you couldn’t seem to understand why he would say that. Once you calmed down a little bit, you decided that you would in fact respond to his first text and simply pretend the second one didn’t exist. 
“I had a lot of fun too. We for sure should!! :)” 
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
It had been three days since your hangout with Pedro and you were preparing yourself for the day you had ahead of you. Today you had a jam packed schedule with a costume fitting from 6am-12pm, then a roller skating call from 3pm-10pm. Pedro never responded to your text but there was a ‘read at 9:47pm’ sitting under it proving that he had read it. You tried not to let it hurt your feelings too much because you just met the guy, a guy that was old enough to be your father at that. Nevertheless, he had this strong gravitational pull on you that you couldn’t ignore. You were attracted to him and you thought maybe he was attracted to you as well. 
Relationships aren't a concept that are completely foreign to you. You had a few boyfriends and even a few flings over the years, but they were always short lived. Over time you noticed that you were a secret to these men, that they were ashamed to like a fat girl. In private, they would be super sweet and loving, but the moment you were in public with them, it was as if you didn’t exist. Don’t even mention the lack of social media validation. These boys wouldn’t be caught dead hard launching their fat girlfriend on Instagram. You weren't sure if anyone would ever truly love you the way you knew you deserved. 
It was currently 5am. You slept longer than intended and you were grateful you had an excuse to do a lazy fit today as you zipped through your apartment, rushing to get ready. You decided on a pair of black sweatpants accompanied by a dark purple hoodie with a few golden stars littered across it and a pair of white crocs. By 5:40, you were out the door and on the way to your costume fitting. Once you arrived, you tried your best to follow the directions given via email, only getting lost once in the process. You double checked the room number in front of you with the number on your phone and entered. There were workers everywhere running around like ants. You stood there confused for a moment until you saw Pedro sitting on a couch across the room. He was sitting there on his phone as you took in his appearance. He was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants, a plain black tee shirt, and a pair of running shoes. You were starting to understand why women go feral over men in gray sweatpants now, as you stared a few seconds too long. With a boost of confidence, you made your way over to him. 
“Mind if I sit?” He looks up. “Go for it.” He goes back to his phone. 
You’re slightly offended at his cold welcome, but brush it off. 
“Early morning huh? What time did you get here?” You ask, trying to start a conversation. He locks his phone and looks at you. “Been here since 5, they’re behind schedule.” “You weren’t lying when you said they never follow the ‘early on time and on time is late’ rule huh?” You laugh a little and he just nods and looks away. 
Okay what the fuck is his problem? 
“Can I ask you a question?” You ask. “Shoot.” He says, still looking away. “Did I do something to upset you or something because I thought we had fun the other day. You said we had fun.” You say quietly. He looks at you with soft eyes and opens his mouth to speak, but before he can someone calls his name and ushers him away. 
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
To say that the costume fitting was really fucking awkward is an understatement. After each costume, you and Pedro had to take pictures next to each other to make sure that the ‘costumes don’t clash’ or whatever the fuck the guy said. You started to get really annoyed about halfway through because Pedro was ignoring you. He wasn’t speaking to you, hell he didn’t even acknowledge your presence at all. How was it fair that he seeked you out to hangout and get to know each other, then told you  not to be shy next time he saw you, and then he ignored you the entire costume fitting. Once it was over and you changed back into your sweats and hoodie, you walked out into the main room and Pedro was nowhere to be seen. You sighed and stomped off to your car. You only had two hours instead of the original three hour break in between calls because of the crew being behind schedule this morning and you desperately needed to talk to someone about your feelings. So naturally, you called Angie and asked her if she wanted to meet you for lunch.  She agreed and the two of you met at a small coffee shop near her office building.  She could immediately tell that you were pissed off. 
“What’s wrong girl? Tell me everything. Do I need to kick someone's ass?” She says while holding her fists up. 
“Unless you want to go to jail for abusing the elderly, I don’t think so.” 
“Some old bitch pissed you off?” 
“Yea..something like that.”
“Spill, i'll be your therapist for the next..” She trails off while she checks the time on her phone “...43 minutes.” 
“Ang, I’m really fucking confused right now.” you sigh, putting her head in your hands. She urges you to continue. “I need you to promise me that you won’t freak out too much and get mad at me for not telling you this right away. Okay?” 
“Okay okay, just tell me already I'm dying over here.” 
“Okay. So after the table read a few days ago, Pedro basically chased me to my car.” Angie’s eyes go wide. As you fill her in on your hangout with Pedro, you could see all of her emotions and thoughts clearly on her face. 
“I’m a bit confused here. If you guys hung out and it was great, what did he do to make you so mad?” 
“Well, he kinda sorta texted me after.” 
“YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER??!?” She screams. A few people give her a few dirty looks. 
“Uh yea. I had to send my address to him. But um he texted me saying that he had fun and we should do it again sometime. Before I could even reply he sent this.” You show her the text. 
“OH MY FUCKING GOD BITCH!!!” More dirty looks fly her way and she gives a quick sorry. 
“The Pedro Pascal has the hots for you! You should be over the moon, not all grumpy.” She says in a whispered yet excited voice. “Wait, why the hell didn’t you respond to that part? You really ignored the hottest man on earth calling you beautiful. Are you fucking stupid or something, you got rocks for brains?” 
“Ang
I ignored him because I was scared. Plus you don’t know he meant it that way. What if he was just being nice?” 
“Y/n I need you to be for real right now. You hung out with him all day and he texted you that he had fun and that you’re beautiful and you see that as him just being nice?” You slowly nod 
“You are so clueless when it comes to guys.” 
“You didn’t even let me tell you why I’m mad at him.” 
“Oh yea, continue then.” 
“I saw him this morning but he basically ignored me.” 
“What the fuck do you mean he ignored you?”
“I tried to talk to him when I first got to the fitting but he just gave short answers and seemed uninterested. The entire time he just acted like I didn’t exist.” She gives you a look that reads ‘you really are a dumb bitch huh?’, a look she's  given you many times before. 
“Please don’t look at me like that. Can you just tell me what you’re thinking right now?” 
“y/n, baby, honey. He probably acted like that because you completely brushed off the face that he called you beautiful. He’s probably embarrassed and thinks you're uninterested.” 
Those words hit you like a ton of bricks and you really did feel like a stupid bitch right now. 
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
You spent the second hour of your break at home wallowing in self pity. You were in a really weird position right now. If Pedro did happen to be interested in you, you couldn’t shake the fact that he was 24 years older than you, only 14 years in his head. If he did try to pursue you at all, you’d have to tell him the truth, but what if that affected your career. You knew that your real age would come out at some point but you were hoping for it to be after this movie was released and your talent was already showcased. Not only was Pedro significantly older than you, he was your coworker. It was your debut film and you just had to get the hots for your co-star. You really enjoyed being around Pedro, you just really hoped whatever was brewing between you two wouldn’t cause too much trouble. 
When you got to the roller rink being used for filming, most of the cast was already there putting on their skates. You found an empty bench and sat down. You scanned the room for any sign of where to go until you found a skate check out area near the arcade. Just as you were about to stand up and make your way over there, someone sat down beside you. You looked up and locked eyes with Pedro. “Um, I just wanted to apologize for acting weird earlier.” He says with a soft voice. “I just uh
 I’m also sorry about the message I sent. I probably crossed a line there and I didn’t mean it.” You nod with a look of hurt on your face. “I didn’t meant that I didn’t mean what I said, I did mean it, you looked stunning, I just uh
 fuck man.. I’m really bad at this.” You give him a small laugh. “P it’s okay. I’m sorry for ignoring it all together. I didn’t know what to do and thought it would go away, if that makes sense.” He nods in understanding and smiles. “P? I earned a nickname?” “Oh um I can just call you by your full name if that’s what you want. I understand if- " "Y/n.” You look at him. “It’s more than okay.” The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. “We should go grab our skates and get to the floor.” Pedro stands up and offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls slightly to help you up. The two of you walk over to the skate rental counter, check out skates, and walk back over to the bench. 
“I haven’t done this in ages.” Pedro says as he ties the laces on the skates. 
“Me either. I used to skate all the time as a kid. I would always go to the skating rink on Friday nights and hangout with friends.” You smile big as you recount the memories. Pedro goes to stand up and immediately falls, luckily falling back onto the bench. You let out a big laugh and his laugh follows. “You sure you’ll be able to make it to the floor old man?” You joke. “Hey, don’t start now. I’m not that much older than you.” You go quiet. “P, about that. I really need to tell you some-” 
“We need all the actors on the skate floor. All actors to the skate floor. Thank you.” 
You stand up and offer a helping hand to Pedro and you slowly guide him to the floor. “What were you going to tell me?” “Oh uh nothing, it can wait.”. You made it to the floor still holding Pedro’s hand, he let’s go. Both Pedro and yourself were pulled aside to work on your skate choreography. In the movie your characters meet at the skating rink and have a roller dancing sequence together that you would be learning and practicing tonight. Once you learned the first half, the floor was cleared so both of you could run the choreo. 
The song Le Freak by CHIC started to play and you began skating. The routine started off by Janet skating alone. She glided through the floor and swayed side to side for the first 35 seconds of the song. Once the first line is sung, Daniel starts to skate next to her, following the lead. “Hey there sugar.” Janet ignores him and continues to skate. “You’re not going to ignore me all night, are you sweet thing?” She rolls her eyes. Janet starts to skate backwards in front of Daniel. “Let’s see if you can keep up, then maybe I'll talk to you.” Janet says with a wink and glides back next to Daniel’s side. At this point, the chorus of the song hits and the two of you begin to do a cheesy dance. Rolling your arms in a circle and then hitting a disco finger both ways. 
The music stops and you both hop out of character and start laughing. The choreographer and other actors are applauding. Pedro opens his arms for a hug and you accept it. You felt like you were on cloud nine. The moment died down and the two of you learned the rest of the choreography and rehearsed it a few more times. 
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
“I literally can’t believe how stereotypical that scene is, oh my god.” You said bursting with laughter. “That’s honestly why I agreed to do this movie. It’s full of fun and dumb stuff. The best kind of movie.” The two of you were walking out to the parking lot together. “Hey. I know it’s late and you like totally don’t have to, but if you wanted to come over again and you know hangout you could.” You look over at Pedro with a hopeful smile. “Yea I’m down. I’ll meet you over there yea?” You nod and try to hide just how excited you are. 
Once you made it back to your place, you waited in the parking lot for Pedro, and made the short walk up to your apartment once he arrived. You opened the door and took off your shoes, you notice Pedro does the same. 
“I’m gonna order some pizza for us real quick. Is one cheese and one pepperoni fine with you?” Pedro nods and takes a seat on the couch while you make your way to the kitchen. Pedro takes a look around your apartment and notices all of the little unique things that you have collected. “I never got the chance to compliment you on your space last time I was here. It’s really cozy.” He yells out to you. “Oh thanks. I like to go thrifting and antiquing for old trinkets and stuff.” You say as you walk back into the living room with two cups of water. “Do you mind if I play some music, I hate how quiet it gets in here sometimes.” “Yea go for it. Let’s see what you got.” He says almost as a challenge. 
The pizza arrives about 20 minutes later and the two of you fall into conversation while eating. “So do you live in LA?” 
“Kind of. I have a small place here and I have one in New York too. I live wherever I’m needed.” 
“That sounds exhausting.” 
“You should start preparing for that lifestyle. Soon you’ll be booked and busy, going all over the world.” 
“I’m kind of nervous for the press tour we have. I know it’s like a year away but I’ve never traveled that much before.” 
“It’s gonna be fun. Besides, you’ll have me to entertain you the entire time.”
With music still playing in the background, both of you are laid out on the couch still deep in conversation. 
“Y/n can I tell you something?” 
“Yea of course.”
“I really did mean it when I said you were beautiful. I’m sorry if that seems too forward. I just don’t want to regret not saying it.” He looks over to you. 
“Oh uh, thank you.” You say shyly. “I um.. I think you’re really handsome.” He smiles. 
There's a silent pause in conversation. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak starts to play. “Shit.” Pedro grunts as he sits up. “I didn’t realize how late it was.” You glance over to the clock and it reads 2:45am. “I should probably get going sweetheart.” He pats your knee and stands up. You slowly pull yourself off the couch. 
The world was on fire and no-one could save me but you
You watched Pedro as he collected his belongings. He was still wearing the same outfit as this morning and you couldn’t help but stare. 
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do 
Your brain focused on the song in the background and your body started to feel warm. Pedro went to grab his shoes and you followed. 
I’d never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you
He stood up with a goofy smile. You couldn’t help but stare at him. Just within the two times you had spent time with him, you felt like he was invading your every thought. You didn’t think you’d ever meet someone who had this effect on you. 
No, I don’t want to fall in love
The song lyrics felt like a warning but you couldn't seem to care. Pedro stood right in front of you. A man who had called you beautiful and had meant it. A man who had seeked you out to spend time with you and has sat in your apartment talking about stupid shit for hours on end. 
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
He’s staring into your eyes and all you can think about is how badly you want to kiss him. You don’t care about what might happen after. You wanted him. 
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
You look down at his lips. “I should go.” He whispers and steps closer to you. “Yea you probably should.” You whisper letting your lust filled eyes meet his. “Fuck it.” He grabs you by the waist, bending down slightly and connects his lips to yours. 
And I don’t wanna fall in love
You reach up to grab his face and pull him closer to deepen the kiss. The kiss quickly heated when Pedro slid his tongue into your mouth. You let out a small moan, causing the two of you to pull apart slowly. 
You stared into eachother eyes for a moment before he opened the door. “Bye sweetheart.” he says with a small smirk. “Bye p..”.
â•šâ•â•àź“àč‘♥àč‘àź“â•â•â•
Thank you for reading <3
next chapter
97 notes · View notes
torialefay · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
🌕 Moon in Libra ♎
bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! (pt. 4)
(based on astrology)
✹bangchan x reader (f); fluff & sad chan :(
✹word count: ~3.5k
✹4th part in a series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!
✹i will give a synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship. head to my masterlist to check out the rest of the series <3
✹ author’s notes:
(1) i am doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.
(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)
(3) there is mention of another fandom in a not so great light. this is purely fictional and no offense was meant by including them. it’s simply for the storyline.
✹warnings: none
✹tldr: chan just wants to be loved.
Tumblr media
Moon in Libra:
The Moon represents the deepest parts of yourself, the parts you are usually not even cognizant of. It is the basic energy that resides within you and what you radiate in the most still of situations. Your moon sign usually controls you in ways you aren’t aware of and draws you to certain people that you cannot explain.
‱ Moon in Libra has a deep NEED for love and beauty in their lives. This can be seen in the deepest parts of them. They are able to see the beauty in every person, and usually can see each person as who they really are instead of the mask they are showing the world. Because of this, he prefers to get to know people well before pursuing them in a relationship.
‱ Moon in Libra also highlyyyy values balance and peace in their lives. If they suspect that you are bringing drama into their lives in any way, they will most likely (very kindly) cut you out of their life. They will feel bad about it, but they need to protect their peace in order to feel comfortable in the world.
‱ Because of Libra’s tendency to be people pleasers, they truly seek external validation
 they can take criticism very harshly. They do not like the drama and do not want to be involved in a scandal of any kind. It can, in fact, crush them, but they are too self sacrificing to say anything. They just want to make sure that people are pleased with them and they will do whatever they must do to get that.
Chan’s Moon in Libra is also in the 6th house (the house of work, routines, and health)
‱ Because of this, the balance in his life likely plays a largeeee role in how he performs during the day in work, in carrying out his plans for the day, and in how healthy he is staying.
‱ His Venus (beauty, love, and sensuality) and Mars (aggression and resolution) are also in the 6th house, meaning that if any aspect of his romance, emotions, or conflict are out of whack, so is he. He simply cannot get his work done or perform well. He is too in his head. That makes him push even harder.
Tumblr media
*Important tidbits I learned from analyzing Chan’s natal chart!!! If you take ANYTHING away from this series, please let it be this:*
‱ Chan has a Libra placement for his Moon (emotions), Sun (personality), and Mercury (communication). This makes him a SUPER LIBRA. He basically identifies with it on another level.
‱ Here’s the problem: Libras are totally giving of themselves. Completely. They quite literally turn into whoever you want them to be. Because of that, they can really struggle with self image, not only in terms of wanting to be seen in a good light, but most importantly from the perspective of not even knowing themselves.
‱ Since they don’t have any one SET personality that they present to everyone, they don’t know who they are. Not fully. They may have some idea. They may know that they love people and that they think they are good people, but when it comes down to it, they feel lost.
‱ So what happens when you have this Libra energy in Sun, Moon, and Mercury? You feel hollow.
‱ It is very likely that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, Chan feels like the shell of a person. He works so hard for everyone around him, but who is he without that? If he were on his own, and if he didn’t live to please others, who would he be? Nobody. There would be no person underneath the mask. And that scares the fuck out of him.
‱ He NEEDS to be needed. It isn’t that he likes the attention, but he needs it to survive. Because without it, he is nothing.
—————————————————————
Focusing in now on only the Libra Sun (personality) and Libra Moon (emotions) for Chan:
‱ As I’ve previously discussed a million times, Libra suns need to be liked. They need harmony and balance, and they feel this through blending fully with others.
‱ Libra MOONS on the other hand, have a deeper desire. They don’t necessarily want to be loved on what they do, but for who they are and the way they think. Libra moons truly believe that they ARE good people who want to help. Because of this, their harmony and balance instead comes from KNOWING they are good, so they shouldn’t care what other people think of them.
‱ This manifests in Chan as having this war within himself of caring so much about how other people see him vs. knowing that he shouldn’t give a fuck.
‱ But at the end of the day, he does give a fuck. And that kills him too.
‱ So now, not only does he feel hollow on the inside, but he also KNOWS that he cares too deeply about shit that doesn’t even matter. But he can’t. help. it.
‱ He lives by the mantra “Just enjoy”, because it is something he so badly wants to be able to do.
‱ He likely manifests this in severe anxiety and not being able to sleep because of it. Throwing himself into work, because who is he if not the producer that his fans know and love? Laughing as much as he can to attempt to fill up the void inside of him.
‱ He only knows himself in relation to others. The worst thing he could ever experience is being on his own.
‱ This is likely why he struggled so bad in his trainee days. When everyone else got cut and he was the only one left.
‱ I’ve heard him explain before that it was a very dark time in his life, and that Stray Kids coming into his life is the only reason he is alive today.
‱ He is not over-exaggerating. Stray Kids literally gives him life. Without them, he feels like he is nothing.
‱ He simply cannot exist without them.
—————————————————————————
The last thing that I will add:
‱ Chan wants SO BADLY to learn how to not give a fuck. He NEEDS someone who can teach him that.
‱ He NEEDS someone who can show him how to find himself. He NEEEDS someone who will see the parts of him that he cannot see.
‱ If he can find someone to do this, this person will be his soulmate, I promise you.
Tumblr media
As your boyfriend:
‱ “Hey there, pretty girl.” “You look so beautiful today.” “How did I get to lucky?” Chan tells you these things every day, leaning in to peck your forehead. Words of affirmation are his love language, so he would make sure you got them constantly.
‱ If you’ve had a long week at work/school, Chan is taking you somewhere beautiful on the weekend. Somewhere that the two of you can enjoy the beauty and the calmness together. Aka, he’s definitely taking you to a giant botanical garden, just to walk around and look at the flowers together. Walking hand in hand, he’d make sure to take breaks occasionally to get a candid photo of how pretty you look with the flowers in the background. You’d wonder off to a tiny side path, taking you to a small fairy garden with lights and a small bench. You would sit, just admiring the lights. Even though you weren’t supposed to, Chan would pick a flower off of the ground next to him and trim it down to just the right length. He’d place it in your hair, resting in the crook of your ear. He’d giggle at how cute you looked. Just like a little garden fairy.
‱ Chan would adore being your center of attention. He says he doesn’t, but it absolutely makes his heart melt to know that you were thinking about him. Whether it’s a painting, a song, a poem, a muse in any form, his inner self can’t help but to feel so seen.
‱ He loves it when you obsess over him. No, like actually he loves it. Again, he says he doesn’t, but the way it makes him feel is like none other. The fact that you think that highly of him to pour your entire self into him fills him up with love to the very brim. And he would absolutely be the same with you.
‱ He LOVES when you ask for his help or his advice. If you ever include the phrase, “I just wanted to know your thoughts because I really value your opinion”, then boom, he’s in love. Feeling needed gives him purpose in life.
‱ He would adore when you would dress up for him. No occasion, just to look pretty for him. Even though he thinks you’re always beautiful, the fact that you put in extra effort just for him to have something pretty to look at would really make him feel loved. Bonus points if you tried a style or a new item that he talked about really liking.
‱ If he had a hard day at work and came home to a home-cooked meal and a warm bath waiting on him, he would probably get so excited he wouldn’t even make it to the bathtub, being too busy hugging you.
‱ Chan is absolutely the type to avoid drama, and especially avoid you having to get involved in any drama at all costs.
‱ But your boyfriend was no novice to how cruel the online communities could be towards him.
‱ The week’s newest scandal: that he was saying nasty things about ATEEZ behind their back.
‱ And damn, did he get a lot of flack.
‱ What was the proof you may ask?
 A tweet. A fucking tweet some random account (that was created 7 hours ago) sent out saying that she had been behind him and heard him saying awful things while on the phone with a friend. As “proof”, she posted the back of a man’s body who had on a black beanie, black hoodie, and black sweatpants.
‱ You had to give it to her, that was the iconic Channie outfit.
‱ But what she failed to realize: your man is literally 171 cm
 no way in hell is he towering over everyone else like in the picture she posted.
‱ STAY knew that, but you know how the internet goes. One bad word, and the world is trying to cancel you.
‱ Well that “you” is now Channie. There’s been an all out fan war between STAY and ATINY to the point that it is now trending worldwide. ATINY trying to trend “#bangchanisoverparty” and damn, it was kinda working.
‱ When you both saw, you talked to Chan about it. He assured you that he was fine and it was nothing to worry about. He knew who he was and that’s all that mattered. If things got out of hand, JYP would make an official statement saying that it was not him in the photo and they would investigate into the account that posted about it.
‱ You were so proud of your boyfriend for how much he had overcome to be able to feel that way. You knew he struggled with a lot, and although you were helping him, you were so happy knowing that he was okay.
‱ Well, until you woke up in the middle of the night to hearing Channie crying softly, lying in the spot next to you.
‱ You listened quietly, pretending to still be asleep, so you could check on your boyfriend while still allowing him to have his own space.
‱ Your heart almost shattered as you heard him start to actually sob, reaching his hand up to his mouth in order to stop any sound from coming out.
‱ Even in his most desperate hour, he didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t want you to know.
‱ So you just laid there, eyes darting off to focus on the moon, while your back was turned away from him. Listening. Just listening.
‱ After a couple of minutes, you heard the sobs start to resolve, and deep breaths in began. Good, he was finally starting to feel better.
‱ You heard the bed sheets rustle a bit as he made the tiniest, slowest movements to reach for his phone on the nightstand.
‱ You knew that’s what he had to have been reaching for, as you saw a quick, bright flash of light coming in from behind you. You relaxed into the mattress as you heard him typing in his passcode, hopefully to play some light, soothing music to fall asleep to. You didn’t hear anything for the next couple of minutes.
‱ Content that Chan had successfully cried himself to sleep, you rolled to your other side to curl your body into his. You wanted to feel the warmth of his back pressed up against your chest. To rest your hand at the nape of his neck and hold on for as long as you could.
‱ To your surprise, your roll over did land you on top of Channie, but a very much awake and very much still on his phone Channie.
‱ He looked just as startled to see you, dropping his phone down onto his chest. His eyes were red and puffy. The rest of his face followed suit. You hated to see him cry, but you had to admit that he looked like an adorable little fluffball like this, especially with the curly hair all fluffed out from “tossing and turning” you guessed.
‱ “What are you doing up?” you whispered, playing dumb. You relaxed your hand on top of his chest and heaved your face down into him. You lifted your eyes up to look at his. So beautiful in the silver moon’s light.
‱ “I thought I heard my phone go off,” he lied.
‱ “Oh yeah? Who would be calling in the middle of the night?”
‱ “Minho. He probably went out for a few drinks, I don’t know. I didn’t answer it and was gonna text.” Damn, this boy was gonna do everything in his power to not admit to you that he was just crying.
‱ “Okay baby, let me know what he says,” you nuzzled into him, ready to watch this shit show of a lie go down.
‱ You watched as he quickly snatched up his phone, bringing it to rest right in front of his face. Not before you saw what he had actually been doing though.
‱ He’d been on twitter reading through comments. “#bangchanisoverparty” was pasted into the search bar at the top.
‱ You felt your heart shrivel up. Why does he do this to himself? Why does he care so much about what other people think about him?
‱ You sat and stared off, not sure if you should mention anything. You didn’t want to make things worse. But then again, what kind of girlfriend lets her boyfriend lay there and cry himself to death?
‱ “There,” Chan said, turning his phone off and laying it back on the bedside table. “I texted to see what he needs. Hopefully he replies back soon so I don’t fall back asleep and miss it.” This man is one good ass liar. Kinda scary now that you think about it, but whatever, that’s besides the point.
‱ “You’re a good friend Channie,” you scooted up to make sure your face was resting into the side of his neck. One arm extended around him to cover him in a light hug, and you just held him there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, your eyelids got heavy again and you fluttered them closed.
‱ No more than 10 seconds later, they shot back open. You had felt a singular drop of water hit your face. A tear. He couldn’t lie now.
‱ You raised up to be above Chan, one hand still over his torso, and the other propping you up on your elbow. There were a few stray tears covering each cheek.
‱ The one hand moved up his body and slowly wiped at the tears on one side, making his perfect complexion visible once again. You kissed over the area with a touch as gentle as a feather.
‱ “What’s wrong baby?” you whispered while your head was just over top of his own.
‱ “Nothing baby, please go back to sleep,” he choked out, letting a light sniffle escape him.
‱ “I’m not going back to sleep until you talk to me.”
‱ “Please, y/n. Please just go back to sleep.”
‱ “No. Talk to me. Why were you on twitter?”
‱ He looked mortified. He didn’t answer. He just laid there, looking off to the side with an expression on his face like he could start crying again at any moment.
‱ You relaxed off of your elbow and sunk back into him again. You tangled your hand into his hair and started playing with it. Rolling it around in between your fingers. You started combing your hand through it in tiny strokes. You were learning to relax into the silence.
‱ You let the whole weight of your hand rest onto his scalp, running down it and to the nape of his neck. You repeated this a few times, hoping that he would get some light tingles over his body and start to perk up.
‱ You slowly moved your hand to caress the top of his ear, running a finger along the outer rim. Your touch was so slight that he couldn’t tell if he was imagining it, but it did soothe him. He thought about how reminiscent it was of what he would always do- touch his ears to calm himself. You knew this too of course. That’s why you were doing it.
‱ Chan knew why you were doing it too. You knew him better than he knew himself.
‱ You continued to stroke along his ear, adding more fingers and more pressure until you were massaging his ear lobe. Pressing your fingers into the skin of the area right behind where his ear met his skull. You massaged a low place here, rubbing small circles with just enough pressure.
‱ You slowly continued to drag your hand down to his neck, working again now in light strokes to feel all up and down the side and front. So smooth, you thought.
‱ You followed suit with your lips, pulling them to the area just between his ear and jaw. You planted a slow, low kiss to his most sensitive area.
‱ You felt the familiar sensation of wetness again. The taste of salt. Of course it had been another tear resting there for you to find and take away. You wished you could take away all the pain.
‱ You finally moved your hand all the way down to find his. You gave it a small squeeze, and then brought it up to relax over your own situated on his chest right over his heart. You sat in silence, feeling the strong beat inside. Just enjoying the warmth of his body underneath you.
‱ “You are so perfect,” you kissed his arm, admiring how hard his bicep was.
‱ All of a sudden, his stillness turned into a sob again. He tried to break his hand away from yours so he could cover up his eyes and the rest of his face.
‱ “No baby, you let me keep this hand,” you whispered. “It’s okay to cry, but at the end of it, I need you to know how loved you are. How so many people would kill just to see a smile on your face. How you can make a person’s day better just by being in it. How every time I look at you, I think that there must be a god, because how could there be something as perfect as you without a creator to make it?”
‱ You heard his tears stifle. He let out a weak smile. Your heart reciprocated the gesture.
‱ “There’s my beautiful boy,” you kissed his temple.
‱ “Now tell me baby,” you leaned back up to rest your forehead just on top of his, noses almost touching. “Do you think a life so full of love like that is worth crying over?”
‱ His tiny smile turned into a big one, leaving his bashful dimples on display. He took a moment and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
‱ He let out a small giggle. “No,” he looked into your eyes.
‱ “Good answer,” you leaned your face in the tiniest bit to touch a kiss on top of each eyelid. Satisfied, you resigned to your position of curling up next to him, head positioned to fit perfectly to his neck, two hands holding both of his own.
‱ “I love you,” he murmured.
‱ “I love you too Channie. And I wasn’t lying, you really are perfect. The last person left to convince is yourself.”
Moon in Libra.
136 notes · View notes
yardsards · 8 months ago
Note
This is why I refuse to watch/read delicious in dungeon. The entire thing gives me fatphobic vibes.
see the premise as a whole is actually very body positive (i myself had similar worries that a story about eating "healthy" would rely on fatphobic ideas of "healthy", but was pleasantly surprised). like, its approach to "healthy" is "make sure you're eating enough of everything so that your body has enough fuel. make sure you're resting enough and not overworking." rather than "you must not eat The Bad Junk Food." (like, there's one part early on where they're like "oh, we've eaten too much vegetables and lean meat, we need to eat more fat" so they search for fatty meat and eggs. and then later they eat deep fried food and no one is ever like "oh no, this is too fattening" they're just like "wow this is great it's so crispy and tasty")
and the core message of it all is just like "your body is a part of you, and is the part of you that allows you to do things and reach your goals. don't treat it like a burden or an afterthought." and the series has had a positive impact on the way i view and treat my body
and overall, it's better than a lot of other popular anime series in terms of representing realistic and diverse body types. our two human (or "tallman" as they're called in-universe) main characters, laios and falin, are not super skinny, with no wasp waist or shrink-wrapped abs. i would not consider either of them fat in canon, but they're still fatter than your average popular anime character. certain races like dwarves and orcs are just naturally stout, and are never treated as being unhealthy or unattractive because of their weight. fatness is said to be a respected trait among adventurers, as a sign that you're good at survival and can safely recover from injuries.
however. the show has a few small things that make me raise my eyebrows. one or two iffy offhand comments (glaring at you, That One Conversation about laios's hunger near the end) that in most media i'd just be like "sighhh, normalized societal fatphobia strikes again, as expected." but for this series it's like "god damn it, i expected better from you."
and some things about how body types between fantasy races are handled leaves something to be desired for me. like yeah dwarves are all stocky, but also elves are all slender. it makes sense for the different fantasy races to have different *average* body types, but i wish we got to see more variation from those averages between individuals.
(also, i can fully understand praising laios and falin's canon body types! even medium body types are underrepresented in most media and it's good to see more of them! but calling them *fat* representation just feels inaccurate to me)
it's just like. dungeon meshi is GOOD in terms of body positivity and representation, but it's not PERFECT.
like, i love this show/manga (if you couldn't tell from the content of my blog)
mostly i voice my complaints bc like. i'm tired of tumblr getting it's hands on a piece of media that is good and generally progressive and acting like the media is *perfect*. and then proceeding to treat anyone who points out things the media could have done better as if they personally slayed your firstborn. (and then, months later, after the hype dies down, realize that some of that criticism was actually very valid, and then violently knock the piece of media down from its pedestal. and act like everyone involved in the media's creation are irredeemable scum and that anyone who still likes it should be ashamed)
so yeah, funny dungeon show good, and i strongly recommend it if you like fantasy stories and food and worldbuilding, just don't expect it to be a flawless paragon of representation and fat positivity
(also take everything i say here with a grain of salt bc i myself am thin, i just care a lot about representation in media and body acceptance and dismantling fatphobia)
104 notes · View notes
mermaidsirennikita · 1 month ago
Text
ARC REVIEW: No Ordinary Duchess by Elizabeth Hoyt
Tumblr media
4.75/5. Releases 12/10/24.
The Vibes: stern hero/perky heroine, femdom with an alpha submissive, caretaking, and soothing long-held wounds
Heat Index: 8/10
The Basics:
Elspeth and Julian come from families with a deep history of betrayal and dislike. He's cold, brooding, and strictly regimented; she's free-spirited, quirky, and... oh yeah, aligned with a centuries-old secret society of Wise Women. Julian is on the hunt that his wicked uncle murdered his mother, which brings him directly into Elspeth's path as she seeks out an ancient text of vital importance. As they continue on their separate missions, they keep running into each other—and sharing secrets... and perhaps discovering that their feelings run far beyond on the forbidden....
The Review:
THE QUEEN HAS RETURNED.
I will read anything Elizabeth Hoyt writes. She's written several all-time favorites of mine (Thief of Shadows, Duke of Midnight, The Raven Prince, Sweetest Scoundrel... to name a few) and her Maiden Lane series is, as far as I'm concerned, one of the greatest things committed to the romance genre. She takes big swings, she writes some of the best sex scenes on the block, and she pays equal attention to the characterization of her tortured heroes and her varied heroines who, frankly, rarely have time for said heroes' collective shit.
I have missed her, and I was honestly getting a little worried that she'd decided to take a step back. But I kept the faith! And it paid off, because this return release is everything I could have asked for. It reminds me of what historical romance can be, how it can stretch, and how it can, at the same time, harken back to the bonkers romps I love most.
There is, by the way, a bonkers overarching plot that honestly isn't as wild as Hoyt can get, but. You know. There's a mystical ancient society of goddess-abiding women and also the whole thing where Elspeth's brother killed Julian's sister (Many Thoughts On This) and the hunt for two separate crucial books... It's still wacky. And it should be!
That being said, this plot falls to the wayside in favor of Julian and Elspeth's relationship and character development. I feel like the first Greycourt book, Not the Duke's Darling, which I actually did like, might not have hit as hard for some readers because the Other Plot kind of overtook the Romance Plot. That is not the case here at all. Elspeth and Julian are so front and center that I feel like the Other Plot is borderline tangential, aside from the battle against the Evil Uncle (who you will have seen in When A Rogue Meets His Match, which I really enjoyed a lot but need to reread). You get a satisfying follow-through on all that, but you're absolutely reading for a truly swoony, hot, FEELINGS-Y romance.
I am a longtime lover of books that are basically "stoic man who's constantly wrapped up in his tragic backstory is flabbergasted by That Broad's Audacity". That... could just be how you sum up this book. At every turn, Julian, who it must be said is stupid hot, tries to stay devoted to his brooding. And at every turn, Elspeth pokes him, blinks, and goes "Why is that?"
When she's not reading Georgian porn. Which she does a lot, for someone who's on the hunt for an ancient, super important book. While also dodging assassination attempts. And that's so valid of her.
Julian just can't deal with Elspeth. She baffles him. He's supposed to hate her! She's the sister of the guy who killed his sister! Mortal enemies and all that! Also, she's seriously getting in the way of his own hunt, what with her constantly getting almost murdered and, you know, That Ass. And she's just so disarming, so honest (... in some ways), so blunt about her interests, her desires, what she believes in and what she doesn't. She immediately begins worming her way into his heart, while also making him Hard As A Rock.
But he can't allow for worming into hearts! Not when he has so many secrets, from Plotty Secrets I can't tell you about, to Sexy Secrets I can tell you about. In many ways, this book is basically a classic melting of the hero book. But instead of Elspeth melting Julian with her good, innocent heart... She's melting him with her dogged inability to be anything other than who she is. And her disinterest in being anything other than who she is, for that matter. Which is such a great contrast to Julian, a man struggling to deny who he is, to be what society wants him to be.
It's Uptight Meets Wild in a lot of ways, but Elspeth's a unique form of a rebellious heroine. She's not super concerned about society, but she's also open about her lack of experience in some ways. She's not mean in any way, shape or form. She doesn't have a chip on her shoulder. She's not really like... fighting society? There's one tirade she has about the hypocrisy of it all, but it's less "Fight the power" than "this is so fucking stupid". Which is a refreshing take on it all. Elspeth doesn't get it because it's all so dumb that like... no one as real as her should be able to get it.
And before anyone goes in on how unrealistic this is, A) it isn't B) this is a romance novel C) it actually makes sense, because Elspeth's backstory literally involves being raised in an anti-society, weird family with their own ingrained beliefs and customs. Literally away from high society.
For all that I think the sex scenes in this book will be a major talking point (more on that later)... dude. This shit is so soft at points. You have multiple scenes where Julian just catches himself wanting to stare at this woman. Even before she understands the extent of his pain, she wants to care for him. This is not an enemies to lovers book, despite the enmity between their families. There's a melancholy to their forbidden, especially on Julian's part. He's baffled by Elspeth, but he doesn't dislike her. He's not even in denial about his feelings for her, after a point. He just truly doesn't think they can be.
On some more technical points—this JUMPS right into the story. They meet on like... the second page. The plot kicks off immediately. I've seen so many slooooow, overlong new releases lately. This is a brisk, story that reads so quickly and isn't in any way overlong. You have an extended chunk that takes place in one setting, and yet... plot happens. Character development happens. Relationship building happens. Julian and Elspeth are together for so much of the pagetime, despite their opposite goals.
None of this should be like... notable. But it is. You feel the expertise in the writing here. She's just one of the best to ever do it, in my opinion.
Also! I respect Elizabeth's process and whatever may affect her writing schedule. But my God, I hope we get more Greycourt books, and I hope we get them fairly soon. I counted at least three possibilities for future love stories. And I have Thoughts.
The Sex:
NOW. On to the elephant in the room. The good elephant. The elephant that is as big as Julian's Appendage.
As I said earlier, Elizabeth Hoyt writes some of the best sex scenes in romance. They're unique, they're earthy, they feel tailored to the character. She uses language that is sometimes anatomical and sometimes campy and sometimes like... feels kinda filthy, even though I've read filthier?
Julian's struggles lie in the fact that, for all that he is cold and domineering and stoic, he's submissive in the bedroom. While Hoyt has definitely dabbled in some light kink in earlier books, I would say that a lot of it tends towards like... The kind of kinkiness you often seem in historicals. Where there are definitely dog whistles, but it may not be intentional (historical romance has long lended itself to an unconscious dip into D/s dynamics, in my opinion) historical romance kink often isn't explictly stated.
Here, it's called out for what it is, the societal judgments about it (some of which remain to this day, mind) are discussed, and Julian has processes. Elspeth is more than down. It's like he's unintentionally found his perfect woman (sexually, at least).
But for all that this is explicitly a femdom romance, I think it skirts around so many stereotypes, and it is not, in my opinion, a BDSM romance. They don't get into anything super OTT or formalized. It's really something Julian just... needs. And it's really not a sadomasochism situation at all. It's truly about this soft domme/sub dynamic. He wants to serve, and he wants to be cared for. His submission and what it gives him is described so beautifully. There's a lot of caretaking in this book.
Which doesn't in any way take away from how hot the book is, mind. There's a really unique de-emphasis on something historicals and honestly romance in general often obsesses over, which was so refreshing. There's a true sensitivity to why Julian is into this, and where it stops for him. I feel like Hoyt was doing a sendup of the tortured alpha here, while also exploring what that can mean in more unique scenarios. It was so good.
And so... sooooo hot. There's a lot of body worship in general and pussy worship specifically. Elspeth is curvy, and has her moments of insecurity, and Julian LOVES her body.
Those of us who missed some fun Hoyt-isms about sex are well-rewarded. "Lazily mouthed her cunny" is like.... everything....................
Basically: I loved this. I am so glad she's back. I hope she's back for good (but no pressure). I want a million more Hoyt books. I will, again, read whatever she writes. When I tell y'all she's showing us how it's done... I mean it.
Thanks to Forever and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
28 notes · View notes
velvet-vox · 8 months ago
Text
All of the points that go in favour/against Doll coming back to life.
Tumblr media
So, originally, I wanted to make a post of theory/analysis on Cyn and the possibility of her being redeemed at the end of the show; one of the points that I was going to make for said redemption was that Doll's death was meant as a cautionary tale, the main team of the series is abuse and how trauma affects us into becoming the worst version of ourselves, Doll was a trauma victim who was so dead set in her unhealthy coping mechanism that she ended screwing over her entire life, granted said redemption for Doll wasn't unreachable as showcased by her last living moments, but by then the damage was done; Cyn, on the other hand, could have potentially realised all of the harm she was doing even as far back as before the gala massacre, but then, it kind of reminded me why I ended up never making that post.
You see, the thing is, I don't understand Cyn.
At all.
Like, I also for the longest time couldn't understand Doll despite being hyper obsessed with her, and took over a year, countless analyses done by other people and (unfortunately) episode 7 until I could finally come to understand her to the deep, narrative level that I do now, and I still don't know if I truly got everything.
But with Cyn, not only do I not understand her like I do with other characters, but..... I also kind of feel left out.
To me, it seems like the fanbase at large is obsessed with this little gremlin; I'm autistic as well, since that's the main head canon floating around, yet I don't really relate to a word she says, to me, the hype surrounding Cyn feels similar to the hype surrounding Nori pre episode 7: we have this almost blank slate character that is characterized enough to not be an head canon dump, she is super relevant to both the plot and to one of the protagonist backstory, it's one of the main antagonistic forces, and is generally super important.... Yet I still don't get her nor do I get her surrounding hype. I've read a couple of analyses, and would gladly accept if someone sent me some more, since just a single Murder Drones character requires a lot of digging to fully comprehend in its entirety.
But finally going back to Doll, I want to make a short list of all the points in favour and against a possible resurrection of her character, starting with the pros.
Pros:
- Doll is definitely a big selling point for the russian audience of Murder drones, as I have seen various people lament her death on the fact that she was russian alone; funnily enough, this was also my main reasoning to not kill her off as I and other people started learning russian all because of her.
- Gonna reiterate the fact that Doll is, currently, peak russian representation, and it just feels rather insensitive from Liam to kill her off permanently when there's already Yeva and her dad, two russians, whose death is much more acceptable.
- Doll, unlike Alice, Beau, Rebecca or others, had so much potential as a character, being Uzi's foil and all, and to not capitalize on that would be a huge waste.
- Her death, although very impactful, was not, per se, as narratively satisfying as it could have been (see Nox from Wakfu), so it might've been a mislead, and if V comes back, there's a chance Doll might come back too since Doll x V is the parallel dynamic to Uzi x N.
- Gonna mention personal bias. It's not important nor is it a valid point but it had to be mentioned.
- Doll parents are already dead but we had a whole Yeva flashback in episode 7 that I can't explain in ways other than she'll be relevant in the future, and if she turns out to be alive, even if mind controlled, Doll's death is inevitably going to lose a lot of impact because, as it stands, it's balanced, but with the twist, it could retroactively feel like drama porn.
- She wasn't unreademable, just unreachable and deeply hurt, if she had a second chance to make up for her mistakes I believe she would take it in a heartbeat, I can only imagine the immense amount of guilt she was feeling while dying, she must've realised she only caused more damage in the long run and couldn't do anything to fix it, so if she could help Uzi out even as a digital ghost, it might just give her the sense of closure she so desperately needed.
- If Nori can come back as a core, so can Doll, they just need to cut Cyn stomach in a non lethal way.
And now, for the sadly more probable cons:
- This is Liam Vickers we are talking about.
- Even with all of her potential, hers and her family backstory feel rather.... disconnected from everything else going on right now? Like, Yeva might have been this important figure into Nori's past, but as of right now, aside from her impact, she really doesn't seem too relevant to the main plot; same thing with Doll, in fact, it was Doll's own insistence to be relevant that led to her demise, because, despite everything, the story revolves around N and Uzi manages to survive because she is important to N, and even then, she still sacrifices her own life for him.
- The narrative has always been pretty disrespectful to her? Like, I'm not talking about her sad backstory, sad development, and even sadder death, (this master guide over here realistically had no end in sight as you could just go on and on forever) I mean in general there was a clear lack of commitment to her side of things from the writing team, I think I've read somewhere else that in the original animation Uzi even walked on Doll's body as she was running to N; many theorised that they only came up with her story only after the pilot dropped, and I can't help but think that it has to be true because she had this air of mystery that in my opinion went anywhere and in the pilot she's a background character. I don't know, from a supposedly sympathetic villain the writing was rather unsympathetic towards her whole situation and she felt more like your average b##ch in the episodes following the prom.
- She still fulfilled her limited narrative role, so changing it back could alter future developments and remove impact from the tragedy of this cautionary tale, since, in all honesty, Doll's side story would require the show to switch off the plot too much and unfortunately that's never been a priority for the writing team. Also bringing back up Nox from Wakfu (still gonna make that comparison post) whose Doll shares some themes with, even though his personal story was extremely tragic, it was extremely disconnected from all of the main characters as he was more of a warmup baddie for Yugo to get in the groove, and he never returned physically aside from passive mentions and an illusion.
- I don't think they went out of the way to showcase Cyn eating Doll's core just for it to be a fake out.
- Even with all of my personal biases, aside from her starring episode she never had a real purpose in the grand scheme of things so her death was probably just a way to cut off loose ends.
- She isn't a protagonist despite what she deluded herself into, so plot armour applies even less to her than it does with the main trio (spoiler: it doesn't).
Ultimately, in my heart and mind, despite what I really want, I know Doll's not coming back.
She was disrespected, screwed over by both the writing and her own twisted mind, and since this is a somewhat heavy horror show despite the comedy, I really don't think we are going to see her reunited with her parents as a ghost nor will she be in robot hell or heaven, I really think she is just dead.
That's so sad. What a shame.
Farewell, comrade.
Tumblr media
Want more?
59 notes · View notes
oftlunarialmoon · 10 months ago
Text
5 Super Fun Age Regression Self-Care Ideas! - Age Regression Series
Originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on January 14, 2019
Tumblr media
Ciao lovelies! Today’s post is for all the age regressors out there that read OFT! (Hi yes, I see you, you are valid and amazing!). You all seemed to like my last two posts on Age Regression (my post on What Is Age Regression, and Age Regression Journaling) and I got a lot of positive feedback, so I wanted to make you all more content!
If you are confused about what Age Regression is please see this post (click me!) regarding what it is, myths about it, and some regressor’s personal opinions as to why they regress and use regression as a coping mechanism.
A short definition is: Age Regression is a coping mechanism used by some to help with trauma, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental illness, and some just use it to cope with stress. During age regression a person’s headspace becomes regressed to a younger age. A person who is regressing may act younger and more carefree and may have more “Childish” interests. Simply, age regression is a coping mechanism.
I am not a therapist nor a licensed professional, any and all advice and information given on this coping mechanism comes from a variety of sources such as: testimonies from age regressors, personal experience, and personally knowing some people who age regress.
So now that all that is out of the way, let’s get into the self-care ideas!
#1- Coloring! Many people use coloring as a stress reliever, and I know of many, many age regressors who love to color! Coloring can be fun because you don’t have to draw from scratch, you can just focus on filling in blank space with beautiful color. You can find all sorts of kids coloring books on sale at dollar stores for $1! Dollar Tree has a bunch! You can also print your own coloring pages if you don’t like any coloring books at the store. You could even make a whole coloring book binder completely customized to your interests!
#2- Treat yourself to a little something! Whether you get yourself a blindbox toy, some candy, or even an ice cream cone, maybe take the time to get yourself a little something, because you totally deserve it!
#3- Have a small day! Has life been stressing you out? Have you been busy with work, school, and other stressful things? Well, if you have the time, maybe take a day to just be a kid! (AKA- let yourself regress!) Take the time to make a nice little day out of it. Maybe plan a small outing to the park or to the mall, or if you’re more comfortable, spend the day at home. If you stay at home, maybe lay out a blanket on your bed or on the floor, wherever you feel more comfy, and make a small space with your favorite toys, stuffed animals, and coloring book! 
#4- Blanket Fort! A great fun thing to do when you’re regressed that can be awesome for self-care is to build a blanket fort! You can use pillows and chairs and blankets and sheets to build the fort, and you could have stuffed animals guarding your fort! 
#5- Make yourself a sticker chart! We have a whole post explaining why Sticker Charts are Good for Your Mental Health! Make yourself a sticker chart with all your daily to-dos, and reward yourself when you fill up a row!
What do you think of these ideas? Let us know in the comments! And let me know if you want to see more content like this! I figured since our last age regression posts were so well-liked, I should make some more content like it!
Remember to Stay Awesome and Love Yourself!
Tumblr media
114 notes · View notes
multifandomfanficss · 1 year ago
Text
Home Is Wherever You Are P1
Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader
With a very heavy emphasis on platonic!Christopher Smith/Peacemaker
Tumblr media
Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Adrian Chase Masterlist
Prompt: You jump in front of an explosive device to protect Adrian from the blast and end up getting separated from him with no way back.
Warnings: mentions of trafficking, mentions of child abuse, panic, meltdown, crying, divorce, mentions of August Smith, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language
A/N: In July I started cooking up a new idea with the help of my friend @countlambula and what was originally meant to be a 2 parter moved to a 4 parter and somehow I ended with 7 parts?! Not quite sure how that happened! I’m very excited to share what I spent a huge part of my summer working on. I hope you guys enjoy!! Also despite the main ship being Adrian x Reader there is A LOT of platonic!Chris content in this fic so I really do hope Chris fans can read and enjoy this! I loved getting into the thick of Chris’ backstory for this! All of the 11th Street Kids have their own importance in this series, but it is very Adrian and Chris centric. Please enjoy!!
“I love you.” You sighed in relaxation, smiling as you were gently woken up by your boyfriend.
“Well somebody has to.” Adrian joked.
“Shut up!” You lightly hit him on the chest, laughing.
“Never.” He smiles, kissing you. You could look at his beautiful, infectious smile for hours. Your phones both buzz at the same time, an indication that it’s probably a text in the 11th Street Kids chat because you both got it.
“Didn’t we just get home from a mission?” You groan.
“There’s no time to rest for super badass super cool heroes, babe.” Adrian kisses you on the cheek quickly before getting out of bed.
“Okay, but if we have to pair up there is no way in hell I’m going with Chris again. Last time he told me I looked like his sexy babysitter growing up. Like who the fuck says that? Our lives aren’t some shitty porno and it’s almost like he doesn’t even give a fuck that we’re dating.” You sigh.
“Yeah he constantly tells me that you’re way out of my league. I think his exact words were I’m in little league and you’re on major leagues, but I don’t know. I was never on the bowling team.”
“I think he meant baseball, honey.” You smile at him, finding his little knowledge of sports cute.
“That might actually make more sense with his home run and base metaphors! It took me way too long to figure out what that shit meant. Why can’t people just say what they mean?” He questions.
“Because they’re trying too hard to sound smart. I think sometimes not saying things they actually mean, but understanding that’s not exactly what they meant makes them feel smarter. They don’t know lots of facts like you do and they definitely can’t come up with intricate strategies either.” You smile at him, taking his hand in yours. You watch his smile grow, but there’s something more behind his eyes. He seems moved.
“How do you always do that?” He asks.
“What?”
“How do you always make me feel so smart and validated?” He clarifies.
“Because you are smart. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than Chris and if anyone gave you a second and actually listened to you, they’d realize that. You helped save the world last year. There’s no way they could have done that without you. If it weren’t for you, Chris’ dad probably would have killed him that day, honestly.” As you speak Adrian starts to realize.
“I tried to tell Peacemaker about the gaps in the armor, but he didn’t listen.” He reminds you.
“Well that’s because he’s too deep in his own bullshit to see past it. He should have listened to you, but this isn’t just about him being stubborn. I don’t think most people would have noticed such a small detail like that. Give yourself some credit.” You kiss him again.
“You know you’re like everything to me right? I’ve never felt this way about a person before. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had feelings for other people, but like
it’s like I just never fit in as a kid. I just kinda felt like an alien who crash landed here as a baby and I know I’m not, but I just didn’t feel human. You make me feel human.” He’s giving you that look he gives people when he’s worried he’s said something a little too out of pocket or strange.
“I get what you mean. It’s almost like we were made for each other. We’re each other’s rocks
wait does that sound too cheesy?” You look at him, blushing.
“No! I love rocks! I had a rock collection when I was a little kid!” You giggle at how cute he is.
“Me too! My mom would find rocks in the machine every time she did laundry because I would stuff my pockets!” You tell him and you both laugh. Then your phones go off again, interrupting your good morning. You sigh. “Harcourt’s gonna kill us if we’re late.” You kiss him one more time before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.
“Let her kill us.” He laughs, smirking, following you to the shower.
Several hours later you found yourself sneaking through a warehouse. You didn’t quite know what to expect, you just knew a lot of people had gone missing at the hands of this guy. You figured maybe they were being killed off or trafficked. If you knew what you know now maybe you would have done things differently. Maybe you wouldn’t have even done them at all. You wished you were at home with Adrian. Adrian. You may never see him again

You were running after the guy when he pulled a grenade on you. Adrian had survived a grenade once, but you didn’t think he would survive again. You on the other hand were testing out new armor from ARGUS that could probably withstand the blast, so you did what anyone would do for the person they love the most. You pushed him out of the way. Your ears were ringing and everything was so bright. You think you hear Adrian and maybe some of your other teammates screaming your name, but you’re not sure. Suddenly you’re on the ground, but the ground is different
 you try to open your eyes, but they’re still strained from the bright light and now you feel lightheaded and nauseous. You black out.
You wake up to arms shaking you.
“Adrian?” You question in a whiney tone. You open your eyes to find a construction worker looking over you.
“I don’t know who that is. What even happened to you?“ You blinked a couple times, moving around slowly, getting your bearings. “You’re in my construction site for the new factory warehouse that’s going up. What happened? Did you slip down the dirt mound and hit your head?”
“I- I must have
” Your voice trails off as you try to make sense of everything.
“This is going to be so much paperwork.” The worker sighs.
“I’m sorry
 what town am I in?” You ask.
“Evergreen, Washington.”
“I don’t remember there being any big construction sites like this recently.” You try to think of any signs indicating any recent work sites.
“We just broke ground yesterday. I’m surprised you didn’t see it on the news.” The worker helps you up.
“I don’t tend to watch the news. My boyfriend thinks it’s depressing. I usually get my news elsewhere, but I’ve been a little busy to read up on it in the past few days.” You smile at the worker, thinking of Adrian.
“Like the newspaper?” He asks.
“No, online.”
“On what? You wait in line?”
“No
 like the internet
” You give him a confused smile.
“Oh, I don’t mess with that new stuff. I don’t want robots in my house, stealing my information. You young people always just want things faster, faster, faster.” You tried to refrain from giving the man an odd look. He’s probably from one of the more rural areas. You knew how radically conservative Evergreen could be at first hand, having met Chris’ dad and been told stories of how he grew up. You were just happy Chris’ dad was dead. As awful as that sounds you’d hate to run into him.
“Yeah
” You give a nervous laugh. “Well thank you, but I should probably head out before your supervisor notices.” You quickly excuse yourself, walking down the street. You pulled out your phone, but had no service, so you put it away. That’s odd. Usually there’s dead zones in town, but you didn’t think it was this bad. As you walk down the street you see a beautiful vintage car parked by the side of the road. It’s in pretty good condition.
“I love your vintage car! What year is it?” You ask the woman getting out of it.
“What this clunker? I got it from my parents. It’s only an 81, but I guess it’s getting old now. It’s got tons of miles on it. They just got a new car, so they gave me their old one.” She says, locking her door.
“They didn’t wanna keep it?” You ask in shock.
“Why would they? It’s old.” You look at her in confusion before she excuses herself to walk into the grocery store. Guess some people just don’t know the value of collectibles.
Today has been fucking weird. How did you even end up in that construction site anyway? You must have gone for a walk this morning and fell in, but it’s a little alarming you don’t remember. You could walk home, but it’s just so far. You walk into a nearby corner store hopping they have wifi to connect to. You couldn’t call Adrian without service, but maybe if you could get wifi you could get him a message to come pick you up or you could order an Uber.
You walked into the building and made your way up to the counter. “Hi, do you have wifi here?” You ask.
“No, sorry we don’t sell that.” The teenage cashier dismisses you and goes back to the pad of paper they’re doodling on.
“Okay
 do you know anywhere near here that has wifi?” You ask.
“I don’t even know what wifi is. I could call the hardware store and see if they have some.” They look at you like you’re the stupid one.
“What do you mean call the hardware store?”
“We have a phone behind the counter.”
“How do you not know what wifi is? Wireless internet?” You stare at them, losing your mind a bit.
“You think we have a computer here? This is Evergreen. Half the town is poor as shit. You’re not gonna find a computer in a gas station. Go to the library. They just got another one.” The teenager rolls their eyes at you.
“Can I at least use your phone?” You ask, trying to keep your patients with the idiot in front of you. How do they not know what wifi is?
“You have to use the pay phone next door. My boss said this is a business only phone.”
“The pay phone
 What is this? 1985? I didn’t even know pay phones still existed.”
“Well some of us again can’t afford a cellphone. Not to mention, my mom says they fuck with your brain.” They roll their eyes again.
“It’s the 21st century who cares what their mother says? Practically everyone has a phone?” You give them a strange look.
“I don’t know what you smoked before you walked in here, but you’re still half a decade away from the 21st century.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” You look at them dumbfounded before it all starts to register. The comments about the internet being new, no wifi, no cellphones, the vintage car. You feel your ears start to ring as your eyes begin to tear up. You feel like you’re underwater. You take off, booking it down several blocks. You’re out of breath and you have a cramp, but you don’t care. You keep running. You’re sweating, but you keep running. You can taste metal in your mouth, but you keep running. You keep going. You have to. Finally you reach it. You stand in front of the building, catching your breath as you watch people walk in and out of Henelotter Video. Your heart is in your throat.
“No
” You look at it and begin to cry in shock at what was once your headquarters
 or you guess what will one day be
 That day hasn’t come yet. You walk over to a newspaper box and grab a free local paper. You see the date says August 31st, 1994. Fuck. You drop the paper, rushing to the back of the building. You collapse on the ground against the back wall of a building that should feel more familiar to you than it is. You remember now. The grenade must have been some sort of weaponized time travel. The people weren’t being killed or trafficked. They were being displaced in time. You sob quietly, not trying to cause a scene. This wasn’t supposed to be this way.
You lean against the building staring out at the parking lot, the parking lot where you shared your first kiss with Adrian. You had just gotten back from a mission that he was a little too reckless on and you needed to tell him how you felt in case you never got the chance again. You look over at the dumpster, clean of the graffiti it will one day be littered with. That was the dumpster he was hiding behind when you first met him as Vigilante.
Adrian
 You may never get to see your perfect boyfriend again. He was by no means actually perfect, but he was perfect to you. He was your personal version of perfect and you knew you’d never find anyone else like him again. Now you may never see him again

You cry until it starts to grow dark. You wonder about what you’ll do. Anything you do could change the future. What if changing the future makes it so you never meet Adrian or what if you change something and it branches off into a different future and you get stuck away from him in a parallel universe? You’re not a time travel scientist. Anything could fucking happen! The only thing you do know is that you’re alone and it’s getting dark. If you’re getting your timeline right, Chris’ dad would be coming out soon with his awful fucking army and you knew if they tried to fight you, you wouldn’t be able to take all of them on your own. They rule the streets in these years. You pull out your wallet from your pocket to find you have enough money to at least go get dinner. Your debit card won’t work, but you have just enough cash. You head to Fennel Fields because you knew it would probably be the only consistent thing left in town. You just wanted something familiar.
As you’re seated, an overwhelmed waitress rushes past you saying “I’ll be right with you!”
“Take your time. I practically have all the time in the world
 like 30 years of time
” You whisper the last part under your breath. The overworked waitress runs back to you and apologizes.
“Hi, my name is Diane. Can I get you something to drink?” You want to order a soda, but decide against it to save money.
“Uh
 I guess water will have to be fine.”
“You don’t look so sure. It’s free refills.” She smiles at you.
“I- I’m okay
” You stutter, tired. You could really use the caffeine, but shouldn’t.
“Well if you could have any pop in the machine which one would you pick?” She asks.
“I’m really fine with water
” You laugh nervously.
“Just humor me.” She smiles at you.
“Uh
maybe a Diet Coke
” You smile shyly at her. She leaves and comes back with a Diet Coke.
“On the house.” She smiles at you again. Something about her is so comforting.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t possibly-“
“Take it. You look like you’ve had a long day. I know I have.” She smiles at you.
“You’re very kind.” You smile back, taking a sip, letting the cool bubbly liquid trickle down your throat, which is sore from crying.
“Now what are we doing for food?” She asks.
“Uh
I’m gonna be really honest with you. I know most restaurants won’t let you order a kids meal if you’re over 12, but I’m really tight on cash, so I was hoping to maybe get the chicken tenders and fries?” You try your luck and she gives you another comforting smile.
“Great choice. I’ll go have the kitchen whip it up.” She walks away without any other questions.
You stay and eat at the restaurant for a while. Even long after you’re done, you stay and enjoy more free refills just so you’re not out on the streets.
“You know we’re technically closed right?” Your waitress, Diane asks.
“Oh! I’m sorry. I’ll leave
” You start to collect your things as she begins to sit at your booth with a bin of silverware and some napkins.
“No, please stay. Mind if I join you?” She asks.
“Um
no.” You smile. “I don’t mind at all.” Truth be told you loved Diane. She had such a comfortable, familiar air around her. Even in all of this chaos, she felt like someone you could trust. She starts rolling silverware as you sip on your drink.
“So what’s your story? Are you running or were you kicked out?” She asks.
“What?” You look at her confused.
“You just look scared and tired and like you’re not quite sure what to do. It’s none of my business, but you just look like you need someone on your side is all.” She smiles again, hoping she didn’t overstep.
“Why were you so kind to me? I walked into this restaurant with thirteen dollars to my name and you didn’t even roll an eye at me.” You question her.
“Just doing what I think is right, I suppose. It’s been hard for me too lately. My husband just left, so I picked up this second job to make sure my kids will be alright.” You shoot her a sympathetic look.
“Um
kicked out
I guess
.” You open up. Being exiled from your time period is sort of like being kicked out.
“Do you have anywhere to go?” She asks. You shake your head silently. She finishes rolling the last bit of silverware before standing up and putting the bin behind the counter nearby.
“Let’s go. I’m taking you home with me.” She smiles.
“Oh, no! I- I couldn’t possibly-“
“Yes, you can and you will. I’m a mother. I’m not going to let a young adult with nowhere to go and no money sleep on the streets.” She cuts you off. She couldn’t be too much older than you, but clearly motherhood had aged her.
“You don’t even know my name!” You protest.
“What’s your name?” She asks.
“Rey” You panicked. It was the first name to come to your head. You and Adrian had watched Star Wars yesterday.
“Well then, Rey, let’s go home.” She insists.
“I can’t just stay in your house. That’d be rude.” You continue to debate.
“Then work for me.” She says.
“What?” You question her.
“I’ve been wanting to hire a nanny, but haven’t been able to afford one. If you come stay at my place, while you’re there you could watch the boys when I’m at work and in return you would have a roof over your head and food to eat. It sounds like a win-win situation.” She proposes. It isn’t a bad idea. You worry doing just about anything else would have an insane impact on the timeline. How much could one family affect everything?
“Are you sure about this?” You ask.
“More than sure. There’s something about you. You just seem
right.” She tells you. You smile.
“Okay
let’s go home then I guess
” you say as you follow her out of the restaurant. On the drive home she tells you about her kids.
“I have two kids
officially
” She starts.
“What do you mean officially?” You ask as you watch the passing streetlights illuminate her face.
“Well my son’s friend is always over, so more often than not it’ll probably be three boys. I let him sleepover a lot even though he’s a handful because every time he sleeps at home he comes back the next day with bruises. I can’t do anything about it because
well
that’s just how the town is
I think if I said anything things would just get worse, so I keep my mouth shut and put out an extra table setting for supper.” Her hands tighten on the steering wheel as she speaks.
“That’s so awful. I’ll never be able to understand parents who do that to their kids.” You sigh.
“Me either. If anyone laid a finger on either of my boys I’d kill them.” Most moms would be exaggerating, but you saw fire behind her eyes. You knew she loved her kids and she wasn’t fucking around. When you get home and walk inside you see a toddler with tight brown curls running around the living room in nothing, but a diaper.
“Dorian?!” Diane yells through the house. She catches the giggling toddler who has food on his face.
“Dorian Gut Chase! I told you your brother had to be in bed by 8!” Diane starts to scold her son who could be heard from the other room playing video games. Oh fuck.
“I’m sorry. Can you please hold Adrian. I don’t want him getting into anything else before bed and it seems like Dorian and Chris are upstairs killing aliens on the Super Nintendo instead of watching him, which is why I need a nanny in the first place.” She shoves Adrian in your hands. Holy fuck.
“Hi.” You hold him stiffly in your hands.
“I’m Adrian! I’m three!” He tells you just about the only thing every toddler is trained to say upon meeting a new person, shoving 3 fingers in your face.
“I know.” You say back. That’s probably not what you’re supposed to tell a three year old when they introduce themselves, but it’s not like he’ll remember anyway. You’re too in shock to care.
“What’s- what’s- what is your name?” He asks, stuttering out the words, obviously new to keeping up conversations.
“Rey, could you bring Adrian upstairs to help get him ready for bed please?” Diane calls and you remember you told her your name was Rey. Fuck if only baby Adrian could catch the joke in all of this. This is so weird on so many levels.
“I’m Rey, I guess, and we’re going upstairs now.” You tell him.
“Is it bedtime?” He asks.
“Um yeah. You’re up a little late, bud.”
“It’s not late!” He protests in his squeaky voice.
“What makes you think it’s not late?” You ask, as you walk up the stairs.
“I’m not tired!” He says.
“What time do you think it is?” You ask.
“Um 2- 2- 27” He giggles.
“That’s not a time!” You laugh at him, pretending to almost drop him. He breaks out into a fit of giggles. You had almost forgotten who you were holding.
“You’re really good with him. It’s almost like you’re a natural. He’s usually not this happy with strangers. He loves you!” She says, pleasantly surprised. If only somebody else could see the irony in the situation. Freud would love to be a fly on the way during all of this.
“Oh
uh
thanks.” You smile, as Adrian situates himself in your arms, hugging you closely. You would do anything to have Adrian back. Well this is sort of Adrian, but
 you wish you had the older version. You wanted your Adrian back.
“I’ll take him from here.” Diane offers. “Check out the guest room. It’s the one at the end of the hall.” She says, taking Adrian from you.
“Thank you. You’ve been really kind.” You smile at her.
“It’s no trouble. You’re doing me a favor.”
You bid your goodnights and head to the guest room. You sit on the bed and think for a moment. This is so fucked up on so many levels. Forget about how you could fuck up the timeline
 How are you gonna fuck up your boyfriend?! Not to mention, what kind of fucking ethics are involved in nannying your future boyfriend? He’s fucking three! He’s impressionable! On one hand this is weird, but on the other hand it might be your smartest move. Free room, free food, and you know how Adrian, Gut, and Chris’ lives are supposed to play out, so maybe you can stick to the script of your own timeline a little easier. This might be the easiest way to change as little as possible. You sigh, flopping onto the bed. You pull out your phone. The battery is only half charged and you have no way of charging it, but you don’t care. You need him. You pull up a picture of him that you took this morning in the van on your way to the warehouse, as tears come to your eyes. You open your voicemails and play one he left for you the other day.
“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring takeout home from the restaurant and we could just have a movie night? I just wanted to know if you were feeling chicken parm or meatballs or if you wanted to just scratch dinners and have me bring home a pizza. Just call me back when you get this. I’m really proud of you- uh
not that I’m not always proud of you. I’m like totally proud of you all the time and I’m rambling again and this voicemail is about to be like 10 years long, so uh bye I love you.” As soon as the voicemail ended you played it again, letting your tears fall freely. After you’re sure everyone is asleep you sneak into toddler Adrian’s room to check on him. He’s fast asleep in his bed. You let your silent tears continue to fall. He starts to move in his sleep. He seems distraught like he could be having a nightmare.
“It’s okay. I’m gonna take really good care of you, just like how you always take really good care of me.” You put on a teary eyed smile, giving him a kiss on the top of his head and adjusting his fallen blanket to cover him better. He seems to look more comfortable now. He stays fast asleep as you sneak back to the guest room for the night.
172 notes · View notes
erisweekofficial · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Tonight we're highlighting @chairofchaos!
đŸ”„ Choas is a masterful Azris writer that has our hearts in her hands. If you're looking for something delightfully angsty or heartfelt (or both), look no further than her writing.
Although all of her work is amazing, we're currently crying over Letters of Love, which details Eris and Azriel falling in love and their relationship over time. Definitely get some tissues for this one. 😭😭And if you can't take our word for it take one of her fans:
The Letters of Love series has me spellbound in a way I can not describe. The love, the angst, the writing! I will forever cherish it. Chaos is truly a wonderful writer even if she is chaotic and I will devour this series until the end of time.
Be sure to check out their masterlist, including this Azris drabble!
Read on to learn some of Chaos's favorite Eris headcanons and which national/regional park Eris would get lost and die (or not die) in.
yes. we asked this.
Give us a name for one of Eris’ Brothers
James (so that he can use the “Um. James
” TikTok sound. A modern Eris would secretly have a TikTok. Super secret, but he would have one). Also, a relatively modern name simply because I’m tired of trying to get my word processor to recognize the validity of “Eris” and “Feyre” and even “Elain.” (No, do not add an “e”. I said, DO NOT ADD AN “E”!)
Give us a name for one of Eris’ hounds
Butter. Eris named him as a child because the hound liked to steal things off the kitchen counter, and the first thing he ever stole was a stick of butter. Eris got in a little trouble for it, so the official story is that his fur was lighter than is typical for a smokehound, and smooth like butter. The truth is that he fell in love with the little thief, and wanted to commemorate that first occurrence of thievery. It was a subtle act of rebellion on Eris’ part, and the chef was not pleased when he heard.
Give us some of your favorite Eris headcanons!
Eris is the family secret keeper. His mother tells him things. Lucien tells him things. His other brothers don’t mean to tell him things, but they drop hints and he’s smart enough to put things together. He goes unnoticed by adults as a young person, and is able to gather more information than anyone thought was possible. In doing so, he accidentally positions himself as knowledgeable on many family and court matters he probably shouldn’t even have known about in the first place. People also have a habit of just sharing things with him at random times, so he knows a considerable amount about each of the family guards, the Autumn Council, and their families. He’s a favorite with the court gossips because he will listen. He will rarely contribute, but he will always listen. As a result, everyone in court believes he is on their side. How this will play out when he is High Lord, Eris has no idea. For now, he’s happy hearing their tales of woe. Lord Cherry’s son eloped with the royal groundskeeper who taught Eris how to garden? Eris is absolutely shocked! Of course, he was the one who gave them a carriage to go to Spring, but Lord Cherry doesn’t need to know that.
Who scares Eris the most?
Eris is most scared of himself. I saw a post just the other day where a person told their therapist they were worried they would destroy everything, and their therapist told them they didn’t have that kind of power. They found it helpful because knowing you don’t have the power to change huge things in rage helped them. The difference here is that Eris has that kind of power by his proximity to societal power and his literal powers. He can destroy everything that matters to him if he is careless enough, and that terrifies him. He fears he would be powerful enough to change the world, and wishes he did not have that amount of power, because he has seen first hand how power corrupts. Outside of himself, he is most scared of Lucien. Lucien has more power than he could even imagine, and Eris isn’t sure his brother knows. At the same time, he fears the day Lucien discovers Eris knew, and that Lucien will never forgive him for keeping the knowledge to himself.
What kind of father does Eris imagine he would be, and does that differ from his actual father?
Eris imagines himself to be a brutal, unyielding, possibly even abusive father, as Beron was. He has never known a loving father, and while he believes it is theoretically possible, he looks in the mirror and sees Beron staring back at him. In every way possible, Beron has shaped Eris to be unforgiving, unyielding, brutal, and cruel. Eris worries that he will become Beron if he has children. It takes someone telling him that his worries and fear of becoming his father are what can keep him from becoming Beron. He needs a lot of support to feel confident enough that it is possible in order to become a father at all. Once he has that support, I think he does everything he can to be a better father than the one he had.
What national/regional park would Eris get lost and die (or not die) in?
Eris is dying in Petrified Forest National Park as we speak. He’s dying of heat related injuries and sun exposure. That male was not made for the desert. Fire powers cannot save you from the Arizona sun.
53 notes · View notes
grumfield · 3 months ago
Note
hi!. first of all, i'm absolutely obsessed with your blog, thank you for posting, i've never felt so validated reading someone's posts before. i'm currently falling deeply into the star wars abyss and i was wondering if you could recommend any books you personally liked (the angstier the better)? i'm a complete fandom newbie, so far I've only seen movies and clone wars season one, but id love to hear your opinion on what I should read next. if it's not a weird request. sorry if it is! have a nice day.
WAAAAH thank you so much!!! So glad you’re here and I’m SO HAPPY to recommend books to you because I was exactly in your position only a few months ago!
Okay. So the consensus within the fandom, especially if you’re an Obikin enjoyer (not sure if you are, but if you’re following me I suspect you at least find their platonic dynamic compelling), is that if you’re going to read one book it’s the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matt Stover, and I agree with this. I’m not someone who was ever interested in reading movie novelizations but this book single handedly changed my mind. It’s exceptionally well written and just has this pervasive sense of growing doom that’s super unsettling while also giving a lot of emotional dimension to all of the characters in ways that film really isn’t able to. There’s a lot of interesting choices that are made—Anakin’s fall feels explicitly like Palpatine is taking advantage of an oncoming mental health episode and pushing him to snap, Anakin’s perception of the Obi-Wan/PadmĂ© affair is tied more to anxieties about the two people he loves most not wanting him around than infidelity
there’s a lot of scenes that are in the book that aren’t in the movie that really just hit like a gut punch.
It’s absolutely great for angst, it’s written in such a unique way and literally the last scene gave me full body chills when I first read it. Horrible, beautiful, highly recommend it. Also uses second person narration in ways that are very clever.
(Also, it like
portrays Obi-Wan as like. A repressed gay monk in love with his oblivious straight friend and it’s incredible)
Now for my more personal recommendations for after you read that, if you want more!
I am a massive Rogue Planet and Jedi Quest enjoyer. They are honestly the cornerstones of my characterizations for these characters. Despite being a singular book and a middle grade series respectively, I group them in the same category for their absolutely incredibly compelling way it portrays the foundation of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship—specifically how absolutely fucked it is in ways that aren’t super clear in the movies. They take place after the Phantom Menace and before AOTC, so cover Anakin’s time as Obi-Wan’s padawan.
Rogue Planet by Greg Bear follows Obi-Wan and Anakin on a mission when Anakin is 12 and there’s no way I can describe it other than it reading kind of like
what if the Virgin Mary was a permissive boymom who sucked at her job and the kid she’s raising has a 50/50 chance at being Jesus or Satan. Obi-Wan in this reads like the most 15 year old 28 year old ever, is still reeling from the death of Qui-Gon and has entered the motherhood phase of “my child is perfect and special and can do no wrong ever ever ever”. He’s extremely permissive and has hinged an unsettling amount of his hopes on Anakin’s role as the Chosen One because of his own personal issues. So when Anakin does shit like
oh I don’t know
accidentally explodes a man’s head with his mind
does things he isn’t supposed to Obi-Wan is like. Don’t Worry You Did Nothing Wrong I Will Ignore It.
And then hot on the tails of this is the Jedi Quest series by Jude Watson which follows their relationship after that on various missions as Anakin grow up. The series kind of focuses on the systemic ways in which Anakin leading up to AOTC was let down and what eventually drives his decisions later. Do not be fooled by it being a series for 12 year olds, it’s absolutely apeshit and additionally my favorite place for informing my perspective of their dynamic. Obi-Wan has gone from being boymom to being more emotionally distant as he tries to make Anakin be an “ideal jedi”. Jude Watson’s entire thesis is that like, Obi-Wan is not father brother or friend to Anakin, he is a Jedi, and does not have the tools to be anything else so his and Anakin needs and wants more. There’s this insane line at the end of book one where Anakin says like “Obi-Wan would come to love him. He would make him do so” which just acts as the through line for the entire series. the push and pull between someone who wants more and someone who consistently holds back creates this very unhealthy master-disciple dynamic that drives me insane. (I have kind of an uncharitable perspective of Obi-Wan because of this but it’s actually what made me love him even more, I prefer Jude Watson’s portrayal of him to almost any other author)
Anyways that’s my long drawn out first 3 recommendations to you lol! If you like them (or if you don’t!) feel free to come back and I’d be happy to chat with you more <33
31 notes · View notes